#my sister is going to loudly talk shit while I continue walking oblivious on my phone or something

[phantasieandmirare]

The janitor at work told me that apparently the administrative ladies have been bitching behind my back because I shut my door and I almost wanted to tear through the building and open everyone’s door to make a goddamn point but I held it in

[amelinksanatomy]

Again?

A/N: not greatly written but hope you all enjoy anyway.

“Hey guys!” Amelia loudly announced her presence to her sisters as she arrived at the restaurant “Sorry I’m late, Scout decided he didn’t want to wear pants today”

Meredith and Maggie laughed as they watched their sister place her 10-month-old son into the high chair at the end of the table before flopping into the booth herself. The sisters spent some time catching up before the waitress approached them to take their order. Maggie went first, followed by Meredith and then Amelia “I’ll just have the peperoni pizza please” upon hearing this, the brunettes sisters turned to look at each other, Amelia completely oblivious of the staring as she reaches her hand over and runs her fingers through her baby’s hair,

“And do you have a little fruit salad or anything?”

“Banana and strawberries ok?” the waitress offers “Yeah, we’ll get that, thanks” the sisters smiled and handed over their menus.

As the waitress walked away, Scout began fussing indicating he was hungry. Amelia pulled him out of the seat and onto her lap, unbuttoning her shirt to allow the baby to eat before looking back towards her sisters “What are you two staring at?”

Maggie and Meredith looked at each other before looking back at their sister, whose eyebrows were raised waiting for an answer “You’re having peperoni pizza?”

“Yeah why?” Amelia clearly confused by the question “Oh no, nothing, no reason”.

Amelia readjusted her position as Scout continued eating “Clearly there is a reason… so what is it?”, Maggie sits up straight and clears her throat “It’s… it’s just, well…”

“Amelia, are you pregnant again?” Meredith interrupts causing Amelia to choke on air

“What?!” she laughs “Pepperoni pizza? Amelia the only time I have ever seen you eat peperoni was when you were pregnant with Scout…”

“That doesn’t mean that i-“

“The other day at work” Maggie starts “You were complaining the coffee smells too strong”

“Last week, when you were holding Ellis, you were complaining that your boobs were sore”

“Yesterday, when I asked if you wanted a snack, you told me to stop talking about food because you felt nauseous”

“Okay, okay, I get the message” Amelia laughs nervously as she moves Scout back to his chair “But all of those things do not mean I’m pregnant, I’m just getting my period!”

“Alright, take a test then, if you’re so sure” Meredith pulls the box out of her purse and smacks it on the table in front of Amelia, who looks around with wide eyes before snatching it out of sight “You brought that with you!?!”

“Yes! we knew you’d deny it!” Maggie shot back as Amelia scowled at her. Amelia looked down at the box in her hand “Fine!” she got up from the table “This is just to prove you both wrong!”.

——————————————————

Minutes later the three sisters are sat staring at the stick in front of them while Scout is babbling away. The timer on Amelia’s phone sounds as she jumps to turn it off a quickly as she could. The sisters exchange looks before Amelia slowly brings the test close to her, flipping it over and observing the result

“Oh shit” Amelia’s jaw drops “Oh my god”.

Maggie reaches forward and grabs the stick out of Amelia’s hand “We were right!!” Meredith exclaims, earning a hit on the arm from Maggie. Amelia sits motionless with her mouth open, not knowing what to do or say.

“Amelia? Are you okay?” Meredith asks but receives not response.

It’s not until Scout starts to wail that Amelia snaps out of her daze to pick him up and pull him into her chest “Oh it’s okay baby, mommy’s got you” Amelia rocks her son softly, trying to calm him. Her attempts work as Scout settles down into his mom’s chest, Amelia looks up at her sisters

“Another one? How am I supposed to handle that, Scout is still so little!” she strokes her boy’s cheek softly with her finger.

“Have you and Link talked about whether you want more kids?” Amelia shakes her head “Not yet, I mean Scout was a surprise and we’ve just been enjoying spending time with him”.

Meredith opens her mouth to say something “Oh god how am I supposed to tell Link we’re having another oops baby? Don’t get me wrong we love Scout, adore him, he is our whole world but telling Link I was pregnant with him… the man nearly passed out!” Amelia rubs her head, stressed

“Amelia, that was so different! You guys had only just started dating, it wasn’t serious and then all of a sudden there was a baby! But now, you’re in a serious relationship, you live together, and you have a baby already… I’m sure Link would be excited!” Maggie attempts to reassure her sister “I guess it would be nice for Scout to have siblings, I know Link hated being an only child… I just never would have thought this soon”.

Amelia looks down, admiring her sleeping son in her arms and smiles softly “Alright… how do I tell him?! I do not want a repeat of last time!”.

————————————————————

Hours later, Amelia is stood in her bathroom holding the 8 positive pregnancy test’s she had just taken. She had spent her whole day trying to figure out how to tell Link until she decided on something simple but better than just blurting it out.

Link was in the nursery across the hall getting Scout ready for bed and down into his crib. Once the baby was down, Link walked into their bedroom where he was met with Amelia nervously sitting at the foot of the bed, a small box on her lap

“Babe, you alright?” Amelia nods and offers him a smile “Come sit for a second”, Link does as told and Amelia stands up in front of him and begins pacing

“Amelia, what’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“No, no, no I just…” Amelia holds out the box to Link “Just… Open this”.

Link takes the box from her and removes the lid cautiously, Amelia watching closely. He pulls back the layer of gold tissue paper to reveal a number of white and pink sticks. Link looks up at Amelia with confusion on his face to see hers covered in nerves, she nods as he reaches in and pulls out one of the sticks. He flips it over and takes a second to study it, his jaw falling open as he throws the stick onto the bed beside him before picking up another one, then another until the box is empty. He looks up at Amelia, and then to the positive test in his hand and then back up at Amelia again

“Are you serious?! Are these real?!” Amelia nods slowly, unsure of his reaction “You’re pregnant?!”

“Yes, and I know we haven’t talked about whet-“

“We’re having another baby?!” Link stands up to face Amelia “We are!” Amelia smiles softly

“We’re having another baby!!!” Link lunges forward and picks Amelia up, holding her tight and spinning her around, smiling so wide before putting her down and pulling away. He holds her face in his hands gently, their teary eyes meeting

“I love you” Amelia smiles sweetly “I love you too, always”.

[love101imagines]

Bad idea

request: Can u write a fic w Sinan, having a secret crush on Kerem's sister, so Eda, isik and Osman find a way to distract kerem to leave the two alone. your last imagine was very good, I loved it.

tag list: @peraltwolf @zaynlikfalls @wwafangirld

(a/n): these two hate each other so much, I found it hilarious and so ironic if Sinan ended up falling for Kerem’s younger sister, that would be like the tip of the iceberg and the rest just helped that mess to be created.

In a household where your mother expected you to be a dutiful and charming daughter and your father acted like an emotionless soldier, it wasn't a surprise that you were the only one for Kerem.

It was with small things, like patching him up after the many fights that you told him to stop or calming him down after your father's patronizing comments. And he would do the same whenever you would get frustrated with your mother for not hearing you or telling you to act more like a lady.

That was why you two were always for each other, hence the reason you were going to one of his classmates' house after he almost got expelled.

Truth be told, you had a lot of experience in that topic. After all, you had been expelled a few months before from an all-girls' school, making your parents send you to your brother's school.

While he knocked loudly on the door, you bit down on your lower lip to avoid laughing. "Can't believe you're getting expelled now."

He only rolled his eyes before going inside, bumping his shoulder against the boy who had opened the door. "Let's talk about whatever we need to talk."

While the other boy glared at him, you stepped inside. "I'm (Y/N), nice to meet you." You introduced yourself politely, wanting to make up for your brother so you two wouldn’t get kicked out.

That was the first time you had ever talked to Sinan. You had seen him a few times in the hallways, but since you weren't in the same year you didn't share any classes.

Before he could reply, his eyes looking up and down at you in a not so subtle way, another girl entered the house. "Move." She ordered him.

You only gave him a side smile before seating down, wanting to get everything over with so your brother wouldn't get expelled too.

That night you got to know the rest of your new friends. While Kerem found himself interested in Eda, you couldn't tell him that you found yourself staring at Sinan most times when nobody else noticed. You couldn’t tell him specially for how they seemed to dislike each other so much.

Sinan didn't do much to show that he cared, he mocked Kerem every now and then and you usually ended up being the one who calmed things down.

“There’s also this, “That’s how my father used to do it”.” Sinan continued with his rant after school while you tried to convince Işik to come to the rock concert.

“That one is about manners.” Kerem shot back.

Sinan, standing next to you, rolled his eyes. “No, I interpret it as, “I’m a moron. I don’t have my ideas”.”

“Dude, I swear...” Your brother started.

“Kerem.” You warned, standing in front of Sinan so your brother wouldn’t cause a fight.

“Calm down.” Osman tried, pulling him back slightly.

Once he calmed down, you took a sip of your ayran before you shrugged. “I don’t think you’re right.”

Sinan looked at you raising his brows, probably a bit surprised by your attitude. You weren’t annoyed by him, but you still wouldn’t allow him to act that way with the rest.

“Oh, yeah?” He asked emotionless while you bumped your shoulder into his in a teasing way.

“Yeah, well, we all got the same shit taught as kids.” You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then you shut the fuck up.” You quoted with a smug smile.

He scoffed. “So that’s your life motto.”

“Better than tearing people down.” You replied like it was obvious.

He swallowed hard, clearly confused about why you hadn’t gotten annoyed at him like the rest but still contradicted him with good arguments, different from Kerem. Or at least, that seemed to him. “Even if you have to lie to them?” He continued, trying to get another reaction from you.

“It’s not like being kind will kill you, unlike that hatred that you’re harboring.” You explained, finally making eye contact with him once you finished your lunch.

You two continued like that for a few seconds, the rest oblivious that you had stopped bickering. While you bit the inside of your cheek to avoid blushing, you felt something weird inside of you as you watched Sinan’s face softening, not as frustrated as before.

Before you could think anything about that, Kerem cleared his throat. “Yeah, don’t even think about it.”

“Kerem!” You complained while your brother only shook his head and pulled your arm to stand next to him.

“You’re not going to bother my little sister too.” He announced while you sighed exasperatedly.

You glanced at Sinan, his jaw slightly clenched as he looked away, cheeks slightly pink.

You already knew that if you had an older brother, things with boys would be hard. Having Kerem as an older brother only made things 10 times harder. He wouldn’t let any boy even glance in your direction because of how protective he was.

Not once in his life did he ever turn a blind eye in your direction, and any boy that ever made you a mean comment or made you cry, left with a black eye once he found out.

It didn’t exactly help that he absolutely hated Sinan and how he always mocked him acting like he was more intelligent.

But still, you didn’t have to worry much about it. You didn’t even have a crush on Sinan, you weren’t only hanging out with him to help Kerem avoid being expelled. That’s what you continued saying to yourself whenever your mind went back to the boy.

“You’re too young to go on dates.”

You scoffed, almost stopping in your tracks while Kerem only continued walking towards the school. “Are you kidding me? I’m turning seventeen in a few months, you’re only one year older.”

“But I’m older.” He replied like a fact.

“Yeah, well, I don’t care.” You said sarcastically, stopping at a red light, mentally cursing your parents for not giving you a ride to school, saying that you were old enough now. “Besides, when did I ever say anything about dating? I only told you that you don't need to watch out for me all the time.” You tried to change the topic of the discussion.

He rolled his eyes at you. “Don’t act dumb. I’ve seen how he looks at you.”

“He?” You asked furrowing your brows. “Who’s he?”

Kerem only clicked his tongue as you two stopped in front of the school building. Before he could even answer, Sinan arrived with Osman. You would have to ask him later about that.

“What’s up?” Eda greeted you.

While you fixed your tie a bit, you didn’t notice Eda nudging Osman and clearing her throat.

“Kerem, we um...we need you to...” The girl trailed off.

“To talk with Coach Altuna.” Osman added. “Yes, we need you to talk to him.”

Your brother only shrugged. “Fine.”

When he didn’t even move, Eda sighed. “Now, go.” She ordered him, grabbing his arm pulling him with her.

Before he left, he turned to you one last time. “We’ll finish talking later.

“Yeah, yeah.” You brushed him off, clearly not concerned.

While you leaned against the railings behind you, Işik fumbled with her hands. “I um, I have to speak with Miss Ayse.”

“And I have to make some calls.” Osman said.

It only took them two seconds to leave, leaving you and Sinan alone. You pursued your lips into a line, dropping your bag as you took a sharp breath.

“And then there were two.” You mumbled.

Sinan didn’t answer, only moving to stand next to you and leaning against the wall.

You raised a brow at him, subconsciously fumbling with your hands. “Aren’t you going to leave too?”

He swallowed, shaking his head before looking at the ground. However, he looked at you once you started talking again.

“They left you here with me because they don’t like me, right?”

“What?” He blurted out.

You didn’t notice his incredulous look, so you only continued with your rant. “It’s obvious, they must think I’m only Kerem’s annoying and clingy sister and only hang out with me because I’m new and I don’t know anybody. You don’t have to lie to me, I’m sure they pity me or something, that has to be the only reason they hang out with me.”

“That’s bullshit.” He interrupted you. You finally looked at him, your eyes meeting as he continued. “We aren’t an exclusive club or some shit like that, but you’re part of us.” He explained.

You remained silent for a while, a small smile appearing on your face because of what he had admitted. “Thanks.” You mumbled.

He only gave you another small smile before you picked up your bag and grabbed his arm. “What are you doing?”

“I say we skip school.” You thought out loud. “I’m sure they won’t come back and they already left us. Besides, you really want to class now? Last time you went to the infirmary to sleep.”

“Why shouldn’t I go and sleep now?” He asked even if he didn’t want to.

You smirked. “Because I’m more fun to hang out with. I’m the better sibling, you’ll like me, you’ll see.”

He sighed, slowly picking up his bag and jacket before following you while you grinned. “You’re a bit handful even if you’re younger, I can see why you were expelled.”

“Fuck off.”

Kerem was furious with everything. You tried to hide it pretty well, after all, it wasn’t like you two were dating. You were only friends who were slowly growing closer, just like any friendship.

But still, Kerem noticed every smile, every flirtatious push, every teasing comment that had another meaning, and how you two always stood close to each other.

It was the next days when things started being weird.

“Uf, I’m so hungry. Can we go and buy something to eat?” You asked leaving your umbrella on the ground.

You all had convinced Miss Burcu to work alongside Coach Kemal, and the plan seemed to be going smoothly, which made you proud.

Once you gave Sinan, who was standing next to you, your best puppy eyes to convince him, he nodded, a faint smile on his face that made you cheer on your inside.

“We’ll all go,” Kerem added, glaring at Sinan which made you sigh.

Still, while Işik shifted in uneasiness, she glanced at Eda to do something.

“Kerem, I need your help with something,” Eda said all of a sudden dropping her red umbrella on the floor.

As soon as Eda said that, your brother nodded. You only rolled your eyes with a small smile on your face, amused with how he was acting like a lost puppy.

“I have to see something about a few debts, sorry.” Osman announced before leaving as well, a not so subtle smirk on his face that made you furrow your brows.

Isik grinned. “Osman, I’ll come with you! I have to go to the library. We’ll be back in a while. You two go and have lunch. Bye!”

“See ya.” You mumbled still confused while stretching your arms.

You glanced at Sinan, the only one who didn’t even move an inch from his place. His hands still fumbled with the piece of white paper everybody had already left on the ground, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

You judged him with your elbow. “Hey, I’m starving.” You said with a soft smile as he finally looked at you.

He thought about it for a moment before leaving the paper on the ground and walking alongside you. “Fine, let’s eat.”

Once you two bought some döner kebab, you sat on a bench nearby school, your legs crossed and knees touching.

“Thanks for not being that much of a dick to Kerem the last days.” You mumbled, voice slightly muffled because of your food.

He shrugged like it wasn’t such a big deal. “Maybe you were right after all. The whole kindness thing.” He explained before taking a bite of his food.

You fake gasped. “Don’t tell me I managed to change your mind.”

He bumped his shoulder into yours while you only chuckled, taking a sip from your soda. Forgetting about everything, about your friends, your brother, and your classes, you only focused on the boy and the many shops in front of you.

“Why were you expelled?” He asked curiously. “From your former school, I mean.”

You doubted for a moment, your hands playing with the paper your food was wrapped in before you let out a breath.

“It was because of my grades.” You started slowly. “It was a very strict school and a lot of pressure so I didn’t do that well in tests. Truth be told, I wasn’t really expelled because my parents changed me before everything happened, but they had to pay a lot for me to be allowed here. Ugh, they were so mad that their daughter was such a dumbass.” You said sarcastically, slumping in your seat.

“I don’t think you’re dumb.” He said quietly. “I’m not saying you’re a genius, and high school grades don’t show our intelligence and only work for a system in which we’re classified into different...” He started with his rant a bit nervous to change the subject.

You sighed loudly. “Ah, Sinan, I like you but shut up.”

“What?” He blurted out with his eyes widened.

You didn’t even move to pick up your bag you had dropped on the ground, too shocked with what had just slipped out. Now, he had to be sure that you were absolutely dumb.

“Um, yeah...” You started awkwardly. “I...I like you.” You admitted, carefully reading his expression.

He raised his brows, a smile appearing on his face after a few seconds. “Really?”

“Yes, I do.” You repeated yourself, now a bit more confident.

You finally connected the dots on the many occasions the rest had dragged Kerem away, leaving the two of you alone. As his hand slipped in yours, you smiled at him before you remembered something.

“We can’t tell Kerem.” You said completely serious while he only furrowed his brows. “I mean it, he’s going to break your arm if he finds out. I promise I’ll tell him when the time’s right.”

After sighing, Sinan nodded. “Alright. He certainly won’t be happy that I’m with his little sister.”

You chuckled, playfully bumping your shoulders into his. “Slow down, you haven’t asked me yet to be your girlfriend.”

As he rolled his eyes and pushed you too, you smiled. Things would be hard with Kerem, but you would manage to convince him that you really liked Sinan. Or at least, that’s what you thought while you intertwined your fingers.

[liesyousoldme]

in honor of eddie month, i’m releasing a collection of WIPs that will never be completed (usually because i just ran out of momentum writing them). they’re all eddie centric and canon divergent. here’s the third!

  this is about 3600 words! featuring a lot of internalized homophobia, a gay crisis, and eddie’s issues from the book with religion and worrying about going to hell and how that ties into his sexuality

“Meet back in half an hour?” Mike’s voice was cheery as he looked around at the six other Losers that stood in the hotel lobby.

Beverly and Eddie spoke at the same time – Beverly suggesting they do breakfast instead so everyone could get some rest, and Eddie loudly saying: “You expect me to get this nasty shit off of my body in less than thirty minutes?” He noticed Richie wince next to him. “What?”

“Dude, you’re screaming,” Richie told him, just as Mike agreed with Beverly.

“No I’m fucking not,” Eddie countered, frowning.

“As much as I hate to agree with Richie,” Stan said, “you are. Clean out your ears while you’re in the shower.”

Eddie gaped at his friend. “My… my ears?”

“Bet you got leper puke in there,” Richie added, grinning. Eddie was horrified. He hadn’t realized everyone else had already headed upstairs to their respective rooms to shower – except Beverly and Ben, who seemed to have entered the same room. He wasn’t even sure where Mike had gone.

“While you guys argue, I’m going to take a shower and call my wife,” Stan said, an embarrassed expression crossing his face. Eddie wasn’t sure what to say; they all knew the story: Patty had caught Stan in the midst of writing seven letters, stopping him from making any permanent decisions and calling Mike to find out what had been so awful that her happy husband had decided to calmly sit down and write suicide notes for the people he loved. Mike and Stan had explained the situation to her as well as they could; in the end, it had been his own wife who convinced Stan that he couldn’t turn his back on a promise.

“Well, I’ll see you in thirty minutes, Eds,” Richie said, when the door closed behind Stan. He started up the stairs when Eddie’s voice stopped him.

“There’s… I don’t have a shower curtain anymore,” Eddie told him, voice still too loud. “Or, it has a knife hole and blood on it…”

“Eddie Spaghetti, are you trying to get naked with me?”

Eddie floundered, face turning red. “Wh – I – No! I just. Shut the fuck up, Richie!”

Richie laughed, gesturing at Eddie to follow him. “C’mon, dumbass, you can use my shower. I’ll even let you go first.”

“Wow, my knight in shining armor,” Eddie muttered, following Richie up the stairs. He’d already brought his luggage back up and left it outside his own room, so he grabbed it and entered Richie’s room. Richie was already digging through the one small suitcase he’d brought.

“You know…” Richie started, then paused. Eddie looked at him, dropping his toiletry bag on the bed next to Richie’s luggage. Richie looked back, biting his lip. He finally shook his head. “Never mind.”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“Just take your shower, Eds,” Richie sighed. Eddie felt his stomach drop and knew there was disappointment on his face. Richie was looking down at his bag, still moving clothes around like he was looking for something, but Eddie was sure it was just a way to avoid eye contact. He waited for Richie to say something for a few moments, and when he didn’t, he rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom.

It was disgusting work, peeling off the clothes he’d been wearing for over 24 hours. He realized this outfit had been on an airplane, in a rental car, at a restaurant, in the basement of the pharmacy, covered in Leper puke, bled on from his own stab wound, through the Derry sewer system, into It’s lair and finally into the Quarry.

He already began making plans to burn all of it.

The shower in Richie’s bathroom was exactly the same as the one in his own, down to the ugly green color of the curtain, and the sight of it made him shiver. He stood under the water unable to close his eyes, constantly checking to make sure a crazy escaped inmate wasn’t waiting on the other side of the curtain with a knife. He’d seen Bowers’ dead body, but he couldn’t help but think the sharp end of a knife was going to tear through the curtain at any moment.

He started by cleaning out his ears, steadfastly avoiding looking at the gunk that he removed, then moved onto his hair, because he knew he’d have to keep his eyes closed the longest to rinse out shampoo and he wanted to get it over with. It took three washes before his hair felt sufficiently clean, and he’d only peeked around the shower curtain four times. After that, he used a washcloth from the hotel, lathered in his own antibacterial body wash, to scrub every inch of his skin until he was bright red but clean. He checked for an intruder only twice as he did so. He washed only the bottom half of his face with his face wash, choosing to scrub his forehead with the washcloth so as not to risk soap in the eyes. It wasn’t until he had opened the curtain and begun to dry off that he realized how hard his heart had pounded the entire time he’d been showering.

He was going to have to find a place with a walk-in shower, the kind with a glass door and glass walls, once he decided where he was going to live after he left Derry. Not only did his house in New York have tubs with shower curtains, but it had Myra and years of unhappiness, and he had already decided he was not going back.

Once he was dry, he stepped out of the shower and frowned, wincing when it pulled at his cheek. He wrapped the towel around himself tightly and exited the bathroom, already planning to avoid Richie’s gaze and letting his eyes go directly toward his suitcase on the bed.

However, they landed on Richie in nothing but a white t-shirt and boxers on the bed, instead. He was clean, hair wet against the pillow, and he grinned wolfishly at Eddie.

“Oh,” Richie said. “Do you have something you need to tell me, Eds? You sleep in the nude? I’m sorry, but I’m not your wife, so – “

“Shut the fuck up,” he groaned, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. “I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me. How did you shower?”

“I used Ben’s, since he’s busy fucking Beverly in hers,” Richie answered casually.

“Christ, Rich,” Eddie muttered, shaking his head. “Don’t… You can’t say shit like that, they’re our friends.”

“Just because they’re our friends doesn’t mean we have to pretend like they’re not absolutely having sex right now.”

“I’d prefer not to think about it, actually,” Eddie said, kneeling down to the floor where Richie had placed his luggage and looking for something to use as pajamas.

“I’d prefer to think about it,” Richie grinned, waggling his eyebrows at Eddie, who had glanced up to give him a disgusted look.

“Stop thinking about Beverly naked, Richie.”

“Oh, it’s not Beverly I’m thinking about,” he said.

Eddie whipped his head around, clutching a t-shirt in his hand.

“Oh, come on,” Richie said, looking in the opposite direction. His fingers fidgeted where they rested on his chest. “Ben’s super hot now, and Beverly’s like… my sister.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what to say. Was this a joke?

“Um,” he cleared his throat when his voice cracked. “What?”

“Don’t act all oblivious now, Eds,” Richie continued, though Eddie could hear the discomfort in his voice. He always resorted to that fake laughter, to jokes that didn’t quite land, when he was nervous.

“Uh – Is this…” Eddie trailed off, staring at Richie’s poker face. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious about Ben. Like, are you actually attracted to him?”

Richie glanced to the side. “Attracted to him how?”

Eddie felt the urge to stomp his foot. Richie was being difficult on purpose and he wasn’t sure how, but somehow this was a ruse to make fun of him. “Attracted to him the normal way, Richie. Like, physically. Sexually. Whatever.”

“Well I certainly wouldn’t say no if he offered,” Richie shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said, “but is this you coming out to me right now?”

“I thought I did that at dinner when I talked about how hot Ben was.”

“Can you be serious for like, five seconds?”

“I am being serious!” Richie insisted, sitting up. Eddie pulled his t-shirt over his head without removing the towel from his waist. “I mean… if you’re okay with that?”

“If I’m okay… With you being attracted to Ben.”

“No, you fucking dumbass!” Richie rolled his eyes. “I don’t give a shit about Ben!” He paused and shook his head. “Okay, no, I give a shit about Ben, just not like that. I just meant… if you’re okay with me being… not straight.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathed. He was clutching his towel.

“I uh, probably should’ve done this at a better time, huh?” Richie said, cheeks red. He laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. “Like, when you’re not naked.”

“I’m not naked,” Eddie argued weakly.

“You’re naked enough,” Richie muttered.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“God, Eddie, please tell me you’re not this fucking stupid.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Eddie asked angrily.

“Nothing,” Richie answered, shaking his head. “Just go back to your room, Eds. I’m sure your bed doesn’t have blood on it.”

“Dude, no,” he said.

“I’m not asking, Eddie. You need to leave.”

Eddie stared, eyes wide. He’d never heard Richie’s voice like that and it made his stomach drop. He felt glued to the floor, watching as Richie sat up and put his feet on the floor.

“Eddie,” Richie said, his voice still cold. “I can’t do this right now, okay?”

“Do what?” He knew he sounded whiny but he couldn’t help it, Richie wasn’t making any sense.

“I can’t talk about my fucking feelings with you, Eddie,” Richie yelled, standing up from the bed. “Not when I just came out to you and you had no fucking reaction, and you’re either stupid or purposely ignoring what I’m trying to tell you, and you’re fucking naked!”

Eddie exhaled heavily. “You said you were attracted to Ben.”

“Oh my God,” Richie laughed to himself, though there was no humor in it. “So you are actually just that fucking stupid, then.”

“I’m not stupid, Richie, I understand what you’re telling me!” He shouted, finding a pair of underwear and gripping them in his hand. “I just – I don’t know what to say! I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“Just say you don’t hate me,” Richie choked. He looked up and there were tears in his eyes. Eddie’s heart lurched. His eyes drifted down, taking in the way Richie’s t-shirt was tight on his broad shoulders, the way it was so thin he could see the pink of his nipples and the black of his chest hair, and even lower than that more black, leading down… “Eddie?”

His head snapped up, heat crawling down his chest. “I-“ He took a moment to regain his thoughts. “I don’t hate you.”

“You sound very believable,” Richie snarked, falling back down onto the bed. “Now that we’ve had this shitty conversation, can you please just leave?”

He was trying to sound unbothered, even verging on annoyed, but Eddie could hear the hurt underneath. He didn’t know how he felt, but he knew he hated to hear Richie sound like that. Gathering his resolve, he found a pair of pajama pants in his luggage and marched back into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He made short work of dropping the towel and dressing, ignoring the way his hands were shaking.

He'd never thought of another man like that. He’d never –

But that was a lie, and he knew it.

He had thought, he’d just ignored it. Even though he’d told Myra he wasn’t coming home, she was still technically his wife. And for his entire life, he’d technically been a straight man.

(Straight men don’t want a better look at their best friend’s happy trail, his brain told him, and he shut his eyes tightly to try and make the mental image go away.)

So he occasionally spent a little too long looking at other men. And he occasionally thought of strong thighs and broad shoulders and low groans when he got off. But it wasn’t…

He thought back to childhood. Had he felt like this about Richie then, too? He remembered how close they had been, physically. Had he been leading Richie on, all those times he climbed into the hammock with him? All the sleepovers where they shared a twin bed? The movie nights where he hid his head in Richie’s shoulder during the scary parts?

Was it leading someone on if you wanted it, too?

What if you didn’t even know you wanted it?

Did he want it?

He didn’t notice he had begun to wheeze loudly until there were two knocks on the bathroom door. He jumped, gasping for breath he didn’t have. He felt dizzy.

“Eds? Are you okay in there?”

There was concern in Richie’s voice, none of the hurt from before. Eddie yanked the door open to find Richie standing on the other side, his worried look exactly how Eddie had pictured it.

“I’m sorry, Eds,” he mumbled, stepping back so Eddie had room to get through the doorway without getting too close. Eddie didn’t move. He tried to breathe in deeply, gripping onto the door handle. “I didn’t mean to freak you out-“

“Can you help me?” He asked, interrupting Richie’s apology. Before he could answer, Eddie went on. “When I – When I breathe, can you count? Slow; 4 in, hold for 4, out for 4?”

He wasn’t sure if Richie could even understand what he was saying, but Richie was nodding, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed. Once he was sitting he closed his eyes against the dizziness and gasped for air, ignoring the tears that leaked out the side of his closed eyelids.

Richie’s voice was quiet as he counted. It only took a few minutes before Eddie was breathing on time with Richie’s count, and it was only then he realized they were holding hands. With his free hand, he wiped the stray tears from his face. Once he felt like he could speak again, he turned to Richie.

“Panic attack,” he whispered. “Not asthma. Myra always just made me use my inhaler but… I saw a therapist, for a little bit. She taught me how to… How to make it stop, without it.”

“Why would she still think you needed your inhaler if it’s not asthma?” Richie asked, keeping his voice at the same quiet level as Eddie’s.

Eddie huffed a laugh. “Because it makes me weak. She likes me weak.”

“Eds, you’re not weak. You’re probably the bravest of all of us.”

He shook his head. Richie didn’t say anything else, just sat next to him while he focused on keeping his breathing even. He didn’t want to think about Myra, or about the kinds of things you need to be brave for. Richie was still holding his hand, and he let his eyes wander his direction, past where their hands lay in between them and to Richie’s legs, bare in just his boxers.

He’d never paid much attention to his own legs, or really the legs of other men. It wasn’t something that had crossed his mind

(except maybe it had, when he was younger and laying in a hammock, but it wasn’t really about legs then, it was about skin, the electricity he felt on days they both wore shorts)

Except in his dreams, the fantasies he pretended he didn’t have, the ones where thick, hairy thighs were wrapped around him, around his waist, around his head, on either side of his own – and he pretended not to think about what was in between, either, how lightheaded he felt when he got fucked up enough to really let himself think about it, to think about what was inside Richie’s boxers

(but it wasn’t Richie’s cock he dreamed about (wasn’t it, though?) when he took enough of those anxiety meds that his filter turned off)

And he could see it now, at least the outline, where thin material didn’t do enough to hide what was inside.

He was breathing too quickly again.

“Eddie-“

“You need to put pants on,” he choked out, taking in a deep breath.

Richie stood up immediately but Eddie couldn’t look at him as he spoke, embarrassment evident in his voice. “Fuck, Eddie, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about it – I – fuck, I swear I’m not – I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable-“

“It’s just-“ He sucked in another deep breath, clenching his fists. His mouth started moving without his permission. “It’s – It’s hard to have a fucking gay crisis when your legs and your – your fucking dick are right there and I want-“ he closed his eyes when he heard Richie’s breath hitch. “I just… want. And I can’t have because the second I do I’m – I can’t – It’s wrong, Richie. It’s wrong, right?”

Richie had put on a pair of sweatpants while he was talking, and now he knelt next to Eddie, making sure to keep some distance between them. His face was red, and Eddie could tell his breaths were harsher than normal, could see his own hands clenched into fists. But he didn’t say anything, just looked at Eddie, who choked out a sob. “Help me,” he begged, though he wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking for. He just wanted, and he needed that to be okay.

“It’s not wrong, Eds,” Richie finally said. He sounded breathless. One hand came up to rest on the mattress next to where he sat. “I know it – it was fucking hard growing up when we did, right? Getting called names and listening to people talk about AIDS like it was punishment, and even now, hearing all the bullshit from people who swear it’s all a sin, like it’s something we chose. But we didn’t, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, and if you… If you choose to act on it, you’re still not doing anything wrong.”

“How do you know we won’t go to Hell?” Eddie whispered, grasping the comforter in his hands. He felt young, like a child asking for reassurance, but he felt trapped in his own mind.

“I don’t, really,” Richie answered. Eddie looked at him, helplessly. “But I think… You go to Hell for doing bad shit, right? For being a bad person. But there’s nothing – there’s nothing bad about love. I’m not doing anything bad by loving you.”

“What about sex? That’s – that’s the bad part, right? Love is great and whatever, but when it’s sex…”

“That’s not bad, either,” Richie promised. Eddie jolted when he grabbed one of his hands, uncurling his fingers from the blanket. “It’s natural and normal. But I don’t – I really don’t know what else to say, Eds. That’s probably more suited for like, intense therapy.”

Eddie nodded jerkily, laughing a little and squeezing Richie’s hand.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, “for talking me down. You were always the one that took care of me.”

“Yeah, well,” Richie shrugged, voice still soft. “I love you, so I’m gonna take care of you no matter what.”

Eddie wanted to tell him, wanted to say he loved him, too, but the words felt stuck in his throat.

“I’ll always let you take care of me,” he said instead, and hoped Richie understood what he meant.

“What are you going to do next? With – As far as, you know, your marriage?”

Eddie sighed. “She already knows I’m not coming home, but… I still have a job in New York. I guess I’ll have to find an apartment. I don’t know. And you’re right, I should go back to therapy, because I clearly have some shit to work out.”

Richie nodded. “I don’t think there’s a single one of us that doesn’t need to go to therapy weekly for the rest of our lives.”

Eddie snorted. “I don’t know how well a therapist would take it if you walked in and started talking about how you fought and killed an evil alien clown.”

Richie laughed. “Eh, I’ll write it into a standup routine instead. Comedy is basically therapy, anyway.”

“No,” Eddie said, vaguely alarmed. Richie was grinning at him. “No, Richie. It’s important to me that you understand joking about your trauma onstage to a bunch of strangers is not the same as therapy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie said, waving him off. He crawled backward until he was leaning against the pillows again, the same way he’d been when Eddie had gotten out of the shower. The bed was big enough that if Eddie were to lay next to him, they wouldn’t be touching. He thought about it. “And if you want, I have an apartment in the city. I’m not there very often, I spend most of my time in LA or on tour, but. There’s two more bedrooms than I need and… I mean, we could split rent or whatever. Even if it’s just til you find a place for yourself.”

Eddie looked at him. He wasn’t avoiding eye contact, but he wasn’t making an effort to look at Eddie, either. His hands were folded on his chest.

“Okay,” Eddie agreed, taking a leap and situating himself next to Richie on the bed. His head hit the pillow and he sighed. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about how close Richie was. He fell asleep to the soothing sound of Richie’s even breaths, and when he woke he felt more rested than he had in years.

[bxcketbarnes]

Second Chances

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Ex-Henderson!Reader

Words: 2200+

Author’s Note: I’ve been in such a Steve Harrington kick that I just want to write him. I apologize to those who don’t care in advance, but hey, the heart wants what it wants. Here’s a bit of an angsty/fluffy fic. I wanted to play with an ex situation and this is what my friend Audrey and I came up with! I hope you all like it xoxo

Seeing my little brother hang out with the guy who shattered my heart to pieces is a difficult sight to see. It's not Dusty's fault. He doesn't know it was Steve who broke my heart, but it's still strange to see the tall-haired man come around the house.

"D'ya wanna come hang out with us, Y/N?" Dustin asks as he stands in the doorway of your bedroom.

It's been weeks since the whole thing with Hawkins Lab went down. Literally the most terrifying thing I have ever had to deal with. Also seeing Steve almost get eaten by demo-dogs was hard, even though he was a jerk to me.

"Who all is going and what are you doing?" I ask him and take a quick glance at him. My little brother moves to sit on the end of my bed, listing off the name of his friends… including Steve. "Sorry, dude, I would love too, but I have to start looking for colleges now that I've graduated. Next time?"

Dustin frowns a bit and nods his head. I lean forward and shuffle his hair, motioning him to come closer to me. I bring him into a tight hug, feeling his arms wrapping around me.

"I'll see you later, okay?" He tells me and I nod my head, telling him to stay safe.

I'd love to hang out with him and his friends, they're super dorky and so am I, which is why we get along so well, plus the shared trauma we've experienced. I just… can't see Steve right now. I'm too vulnerable.

The phone rings and I pick it up immediately as I've been waiting for my best friend, Audrey, to call me.

"Hello?" I answer, pressing it against my shoulder as I continue to go over the pros and cons of the colleges in Hawkins, which isn't many.

"Hey! How's it going?" She asks me and I let out a sigh, setting down the paper before grabbing the phone. "That bad?"

"It's just Dustin wants me to hang out with him and his friends, but Steve is always with them. I can't look at him and not think about the time he just dumped me in front of the entire cafeteria, loudly," I tell her as the tears came to my eyes. "I've done so much to avoid him and being with him during the whole ordeal with the lab just brought up unwanted memories."

Aud lets out an mhm, listening to my whole rant before she chimes in. "Does Dustin know it was him?"

"...No. I didn't tell him, because I didn't want him to worry about me. He leaves for camp in a couple weeks and I've barely spent time with him," I mention while twirling the phone cord around my fingers.

"I know this isn't gonna be what you wanna hear but, what if you hang out with them and just ignore Steve? Just stick close by Dustin or even the girls," she informs me and I think about it for a couple minutes.

"I-I could do that, yeah. It would make him happy, that's for sure," I mutter and look towards the clock to see the time. "I know where they'll be so I'll head their way. Thanks, Audrey, don't know what I'd do without you."

Both of us chuckle as I move to sit on the edge of my bed. "You'd be in your room twenty-four/seven and we'd never see you," she says jokingly and we laugh once more before bidding each other goodbye.

I hung up the phone and lets out a deep sigh as I slip on my tennis shoes before grabbing a sweater, getting up to leave the house.

-

My heart pounds in my chest as Steve's place comes into view, my stomach churning. Is this a good idea? I park my car behind his, noticing his parents aren't home as I can hear the screams of the kids coming from the backyard.

After turning off my vehicle and getting out, I jog up his steps before pressing the doorbell. I wait for a few seconds, rocking on the heels of my feet as I heard Steve yelling that he's coming.

I gulped slightly, mentally preparing myself as the door opened. My breath hitched in my throat as Steve stood on the other side of the door, shirtless and in his swim trunks.

"Y/N? Hey," he mutters and I give him a small wave.

"Y/N?!" I heard Dusty's voice call out and I tilt to the side a bit, looking past Steve to see my little brother standing at the back door, a large grin on his face. "You came!" He runs towards me, the older teen yelling at him to be careful as Dustin's arms wrap around my waist.

I was through the house and into the backyard, seeing El sitting on one of the lounge chairs as her eyes are trained on Mike who was dunking Lucas. I shove my hands into my pockets as Dustin runs to jump into the pool, going back to playing with his friends.

"Do you plan to go in?" Steve asks from beside me and I jump a bit.

"I-Uh, no. I didn't bring a swimsuit," I mutter to him coldly, not even looking at him. I heard him let out a sigh and a quiet okay as I sit on a chair beside El.

"Y/N, did you bring a suit?" Dustin asks as he swims to the edge, leaning on it.

A chuckle leaves my lips as I rest my elbows against my knees. "Sorry, bub. I didn't," I tell him and he looks towards Steve. No, no, Dustin just leave it.

"Steve does your mom have an extra suit she could wear?"

He nods his head and I look towards Steve to see him motion for me to follow him. I let out a quiet sigh, getting up from the lounge chair. I keep my arms crossed over my chest as I follow him up the stairs and into his parent's room.

"How long are you gonna keep ignoring me?" He asks as he searches the dresser, hoping not to find something absolutely repulsive.

"Who says I'm ignoring you?"

Steve lets out a dry laugh, pulling the black bikini out of the drawer. "Really? Do you think I'm that oblivious? Ever since the lab, you haven't hung out with Dustin and his friends and that's not like you. It doesn't take a scientist to put two pieces of the puzzle together, Y/N."

"If you know then why ask?" I mumble bitterly while taking the swimsuit from his hand.

"Well, don't you think it's a bit childish?" He asks and I scoff, shaking my head.

I leave the bedroom, heading towards the bathroom to change as I heard him follow me. "You try having your heart shattered by someone you truly liked because you weren't ‘popular’ enough in front of a shit ton of students and then tell me it's childish to ignore them because it physically and mentally hurt to be around them," I practically growl, narrowing my eyes at Steve as his eyes saddened a bit before slamming the door.

I leaned my back against the wooden door, closing my eyes as I take deep breaths, trying not to cry. "Steve?" My brother calls out and my breath hitches, hoping he didn't hear what happened. "What's she talking about?"

I listen closely setting the bikini on the counter as Steve stutters over his words. "I-She hasn't told you?"

I quickly open the door before he can say anything else. Both boys' head turns towards me as I keep my eyes on my little brother. "What was it you didn't tell me?" Dustin asks and I take a deep breath.

"Steve and I went out for over a month, but according to him I wasn't cool enough to be his girlfriend so he dumped me in front of all his friends and our classmates, essentially breaking my heart and embarrassing me all in one."

"You what?!" Dustin spits, turning his attention back to Steve. "You were the one that caused my sister to question herself if she was good enough, cool enough for someone to go out with?! She spent weeks in her room, crying over you?!"

"Dustin…" I trail off, stepping towards him as he was sending daggers at Steve.

"I-I-" the older teen stutters, trying to come up with some sort of excuse.

Dustin doesn't even let him finish as he walks out the sliding door. I can see him gathering his stuff, his friends looking at him with curious looks as he walks back towards me. "C'mon, Y/N. I wanna go home," he mutters and I nod, the two of us walking out of Harrington's house.

I noticed Steve standing at his door, feeling his eyes on me as I started my car before pulling out of his driveway, can't help but noticing the hurt look on his face as we drove away.

-

"How come you never told me what happened?" Dustin asks as I was sitting on my bed.

"I didn't want you to worry or snap at him like you did earlier. I know you and Steve were close after everything that happened and I didn't wanna ruin that," I tell him as I cross my legs.

"You're my sister, of course I'd do that. I love you and don't wanna see you like that, ever," he pauses and lets out a sigh, "although you should know that he's not like that anymore, ever since Nancy practically ripped his heart out. Guess he got a taste of what you felt."

I press my lips together, looking down at my hands as Dustin stood up. "Goodnight, buddy," I mumbled to him as he walks out of my room, closing the door behind him.

"Love you!" He calls out and I can't help but laugh lightly.

I lift myself off the bed, gathering my nightclothes and changing quickly. A tap on my window makes me snap my head towards it, furrowing my eyebrows. I ignore it, putting my hair up in a messy bun. Another tap is heard as I start heading towards my bed.

"What the fu-" I start but cuts myself off as I notice a figure crouched outside my window. I swallow thickly as I slowly moved towards it, moving the curtain out of the way to see Steve sitting outside my window. "Jesus, what are you doing here?" I ask him after I open the window.

Steve falls into the room and quickly gets up. "I-I'm sorry about Junior year," he mutters quickly while looking down at me. I start to speak when he puts his hand up. "I realized after you left earlier how much of a dick I was but you gotta know that… that I'm not like that anymore. I don't hang out with Tommy H or Carol anymore. I-I didn't realize how much you liked me and I'm sorry I broke your heart."

"I know you're not like that anymore. Dustin told me you changed after Nancy dumped you," I mention and cross my arms. "And even if you weren’t like that anymore you should've realized that that's not how you break up with someone. You really hurt me, Steve."

His Adam's apple bobs in his throat as he reaches for my hand. "I know that now. I… Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Would you believe me if I said I made a mistake now that I've had time to think about it?" Steve asks me as I allow him to grab my hand, feeling his thumb rub the back of my hand.

"I-I don't know, Steve," I barely whispered, looking down at our hands. "If you remember my all-time favorite date idea, I'll let you take me out and I'll decide whether or not you get a second chance."

"You said you wanted to go to an arcade after having dinner at Enzo's since you've never been there before," he tells me and I couldn't help but blush a bit. Steve brings his free hand up to my cheek, stroking my skin gently. "Did I hit the nail on the head?"

I scoff, a chuckle leaving my lips. A laugh comes from his lips as well, a sigh leaving my lips. "Yeah. I can't believe you remembered that. You were borderline drunk that night," I bite my lip and look up at him.

"Well, believe it or not, you were pretty special. You were so innocent and sweet, I just… didn't want you around my friends. I knew they didn't like you and if I could go back I would've done things differently," Steve confesses and my heart skips a beat.

"God. I hate that I can't hate you and I hate that you're so cute, especially your friendship with Dustin," I tell him and place my hand behind his neck, my fingers combing through the hair on his neck. His eyes move down to my lips for a quick second, slowly leaning in as I feel his nose brush against mine. Just before our lips could meet I pull away, pressing my index finger against his full lips. "Take me on that date first… then you can kiss me."

"Tomorrow night? Seven o'clock?" He asks as I pull my finger away and I nod my head.

I lean on my toes to press a kiss to his cheek, smiling softly at the boy. "It's a date, Harrington. Don't fuck it up."

-

Stranger Things Taglist: @whiitee--sxxl @joyfullyswimmingface @lovefilledtragedy @morningfears @adumbledoreable @vanitysfairr @lay-all-on-me @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @fangirlinganditswonders @ria132love @hhal0 @rissa067

[hideandseaking]

Last time during dnd:

Featuring: Kara the redheaded human with 1 braincell and 4 anger cells, Mars Bar the slug alien human-like person with antennae and tears, Rango the small bounty hunting lizard with piss legs, Chip Hop the very big rabbit robot with a broad spectrum of emotions, and Olga the oldest and meanest slug alien with no human-like attributes except her face

My players were horrified to find out that the primary species on this planet are humanoid aliesn with three mouths, no eyes, feathered wings under their arms, and small spikes protruding from their skin

And they have to help these people

My players also realized slowly but surely that they were exhausted from pulling an 8 hour work day from their first mission and are trying to do a second mission without any rest

But only the young slug and the old slug were tired at first

They approach the house where the GPS says the next person requesting a mission is at

They try to knock on the door, both Rango and Kara at the same time, and they realize the client is behind them carrying groceries and wondering wtf they were doing at her house

she asks them to get the key for her out of her pocket so they can go inside the house... rango takes the key and unlocks the door while mars bar takes some of the groceries and goes through them

Once inside, Rango and CH raid the fridge and drink her soda while Mars Bar puts away the groceries in all of the wrong places. She rewards herself with a poptart and goes to sit down

Olga is reprimanding them for acting so rudely in someone else’s house and starts arguing with CH about taking people’s food without permission

Olga: “You didn’t even ask! she paid for that stuff!! you didn’t even ask to pay her back!” Chip Hop: “Okay” *turns to the client* “do you want me to pay you back for the soda” The Client: “Well, it’s fine since you guys-” Chip Hop: “SEE. It’s fine. Your logic is faulty.” Olga: *screams*

When they all finally settled down, the client had to shut the door that they left open before walking over and sitting down to explain the mission to them

She’s a 15 year old girl named Raine whose younger sister went missing three days ago

Raine: “Her name is Jewel-” My Players: *starts to make Juul jokes and posting Juul memes incessently*

They ask her what happened and Raine says that she got her sister ready for school and they parted ways to go and then suddenly she’s disappeared and hasn’t returned since she saw her that morning

Obviously Kara and Mars Bar do not believe this at all and press for more information about how that morning went

Raine: *goes on a very detailed but unnecessary recount of her entire morning*

CH: *vibrates more and more intensely the more she talks because he wants her to shut up*

Raine said she’s worried because two other kids have been kidnapped in the past 2 weeks and she’s worried about Jewel

Kara asks if she’s talked to the police and Raine admits that she hasn’t because she’s scared about Jewel being taken away from her if she returns since they don’t have any parents

Kara is completely unsympathetic and apparently a bootlicker and berates Raine for not telling the police

Raine starts crying which means that lots of drool just comes out of her topmost mouth of three

And it horrifies everyone

This causes everyone to just want to dip........ so they do........... with a promise that they’re going to get information on this

They go outside and Kara says, “Okay, so we have 2 options-” Rango: “We go to the playground.” Kara: “....Okay so we have 3 options.”

Which were 1) go to the police, 2) investigate the playground, 3) investigate the school

Kara or Olga idr who: “We have the perfect amount for all 3.” Rango and CH: “We call the playground!” K or O: “Okay so-” Mars Bar: “Actually, I wanna go to the playground too.....” K AND O: “....... Okay we all go to the playground......”

They check Google Maps and find the playground closest to both the school and the house and start to walk there

Rango starts to bother Kara for her phone, since she’s the only one in the group with one, and she refuses and starts to ignore him

He gathers some pebbles to launch at her, but she catches them, while CH joins in to try to take the phone

Kara threatens CH that she’ll flip him.... Me: “Girl, he’s 2 tons!” Kara’s Player: “..... Well I’m gonna do it cause I said I will”

She fails her roll and instead hits her head on the metal on his hand when she tries to attack

Rango tries to persuade her for the phone but she beats his roll and they all decide to drop it and continue to the playground

When they get to the playground, Olga and Mars are super tired, and Kara is realizing how exhausted she is too so she and Olga take up their own respective benches to take a nap

Well, okay, Olga absorbs into the bench........ Kara lays down obnoxiously and tries to sleep

Mars Bar goes to a swing and tiredly pushes it back and forth with her feet

Rango is still full of energy and takes the one next to Mars and starts to swing himself

CH decides to do some investigating and launches himself over to a mother of a child playing on the playground

Which scares the shit out of her and she takes her child and runs

CH is dejected over the entire interaction and mopes over to Rango and Mars and asks them if they wanna be pushed

Rango says yes and he almost gets launched into the air

Mars says yes “but gently.... please...” and also almost gets launched into the air

Rango wants another push but CH puts too much mustard into it and flips Rango around the top of the bar

And then he swings over and splatters against CH’s back

CH doesn’t notice and starts to freak out over where Rango went

Mars Bars is laughing her ass off as he starts to freak out more

He runs out towards a more open area of the playground and starts calling for rango’s name

This causes most of everyone else to start to disperse

CH gets down on his knees and calls Rango’s name into the sky in despair, believing that he has died

Rango peels himself off of CH and taps him, saying he’s okay

Which freaks out CH and makes him grab Rango and launch him 100ft away from the playground

Everyone: “Okay bye Rango... you’re dead..... better start rolling up your new character” Rango’s Player: “.......................”

Rango rolls an incredible success and actually starts to manuever himself and flip himself around so he starts to slow down the launch. He cartwheels and starts to bounce and somersaults and roooooooooolls out towards where the foliage starts to turn into desert. Not a scratch on him !!

Only the party is at the playground at this point, and Olga and Kara are woken up from this

Mars Bar is damn near peeing herself with laughter and CH hops out towards Rango to see if he’s okay

Mars Bar’s Player: “Wait have we peed at all during this whole thing?” Me: “Uhhhhhhh...”

So I roll how much each of them needed to use the bathroom

Yes we’re all 12 i guess so shut the fuck up!!

Rango: 10/10 will pee immediately, Kara: 9/10, Mars Bar 4/10, Olga I can’t remember but it wasn’t that high, CH only shits out like lead balls or something and he was okay

Kara realizes how badly she has to pee and tells Olga that maybe they should all rest so she summons the ship to autopilot over to them

Rango: “Perception pls” Me: “It’s all weeds and some cabbage-like plants that are slowly tapering off to be just a very large and wide desert” Rango: ““:0 I get stealth in the desert... I must investigate this....”

He sees CH hopping over and takes a plant and starts to munch on it while pissing himself and thinking

CH and Rango discuss if they should go out to the desert or not, and Rango tries to convince CH but he says no and wants Rango to rest and tries to convince him to rest with the group while Rango wants to explore

The ship lands in between CH/Rango and the playground

And kara sprints towards it

Mars is being polite and walking with Olga until she starts going “ECH” loudly with each step, so she runs towards the ship too

Kara runs into the bathroom and pisses her brains out I guess... Mars immediately decides to go in too while she’s peeing... and it’s a single bathroom so it’s not like there’s stalls

Cue me and Kara’s player trying to determine if Kara would freak out before deciding to just roll on it

She does freak out, but Mars Bar is too oblivious to care and just starts washing her hands

she’s not great at it and starts to count to 20 but loses count everytime.... she eventually feels satisfied with her hand washing before just walking out and leaving the door open

Kara sees Olga down the hallway and is begging her to close the door for her

Olga decides to move in the slowest possible way to get to kara and by the time she closes the door, it’s in kara’s face when she’s done washing her hands and wiping them off

The slugs go to their rooms while Kara is walking around and making sure everything is secure

CH finally convinces Rango to go to the ship, but when Rango gets on he’s deciding that he’s going to go explore the desert

Ch goes to stand in the kitchen, desolate and unmoving

Rango’s Player: “Is there a compass?” Me: “???? Like on a PIRATE SHIP???”

He lifts the ship up off the ground and kara walks over asking what he’s doing

Rango: “I’m exploring the desert” Kara: “Rango... can’t this wait until tomorrow? We’re all tired...” Rango: “I’m not tired! I can keep going!” *fails his stamina roll, wavers at the wheel and shakes the ship* Kara: “Yea, definitely.” Rango: “I was fine before you got here! .... But fine I guess i could sleep.”

He lands the ship and everyone goes to bed

Rango jolts awake realizing that CH might need to be charged and goes to the kitchen to ask him about it

CH recharges with the sunlight and moonlight, so he decides to go outside and burrow in the ground to hide while still exposing where he can charge from while he enters a sleep mode

Rango goes to bed and everyone goes to sleep

Mars Bar has a dream where she is at home with her brothers and she’s sitting outside of her house with her older brother while her younger twin brothers are out playing in the distance

Her older brother points at the sky and says “Look! The meteor shower is starting!” and shooting stars start to jump across the sky

she is watching for a little bit before looking over at her brother

And seeing that his head has turned into that of seaweed the goldfish, who they had rescued earlier in the day

She immediately freaks out and gets scared and wakes up

and starts to cry

Kara is woken up from her own dream by Mars Bar’s cries

She sleepily walks over to her room and asks if she’s okay

Mars says from her room that she’s fine but it’s clear that she isn’t fine

Kara asks if she can come in and Mars says she can. She sees Mars is hiding under the covers

She asks if she can do anything for Mars Bar and she asks Kara if she could read to her

So she reads her 6 pages of Mar’s MLP comics before realizing that she’s back asleep

And Kara sneaks out quietly and goes back to bed

When it becomes morning, CH is woken up to giggling and pushing on him

He gets up to see that children are there, seeing who he is

They ask him some questions and start to touch at the metal on his body, which makes him uncomfortable but he lets the kids do

They decide to go because they have school but all say goodbye and start to leave

He calls out to them and one of them lingers behind to answer his questions

she’s the sister of one of the kids taken earlier in the 2 weeks, and she says that she heard a rumor that someone saw it happen at the Southern Park (we were all calling it South Park cause haha funny funny) and she asks CH if he can find her sibling

CH says he’ll try and she runs off

Mars Bar wakes up feeling refreshed and head empty, and decides to go get something to eat

She looks outside and sees some children waving goodbye to CH while he’s standing outside

She goes outside to check it out, and says good morning to CH

CH: “............................................................................. good morning” MB: “.................... so what’s up” CH: “........................................................................................................................................................................... those kids had some information” MB: “Oh that’s cool...............” *They both stare at each other* MB’s Player: “This is  so awkward  for her!!” Everyone: *laughing* CH: “Mars Bar.............. I love you.”

And Mars Bar sprints away without even acknowleding that

CH feels the immediate burn of rejection

Kara wakes up and decides to get herself something to eat

She checks out the common area and sees that there’s a parking ticket on the windshield

And decides she’ll worry about that later

She checks the fridge, and there’s only food that Rango and CH stole from the prince that they helped yesterday

so she decides to make fried chicken breakfast tacos

Unfortuantely, Kara has a wide imagination but no skill so she burns the food

Which the smell wakes up Rango and Olga, who both think it smells great

Kara realizes it’s inedible for her and gives it to them, which they gladly take

she informs them of the parking ticket and Olga says, “Oh we don’t have to pay that. We can just make a collage out of them. That’s what I do!”

Kara decides to get dressed before continuing on with her day and Olga tries to find tea but instead finds a silica DO NOT EAT packet and eats that instead

Rango goes to get CH and sees him just looking dejected out towards the city

He asks what happened, and Ch says he confessed to Mars but she ran away

CH: “Rango, do you think I’ll ever find true love?” Rango: “Well, I love you, buddy.” CH: *feels worse cause that’s not the same*

Rango tries to rally Ch to the ship so they can search the desert, but Ch says that he heard from the kids about the South Park

Rango: “Why didn’t you say that in the first place!?” CH: “Rango, I got rejected” Rango: “That’s less important!”

They go onto the ship and Kara and Olga ask what’s up and where’s Mars Bar and CH tells about his confession to her where she ran away

and then the party gives CH the worst dating advice I’ve ever heard

Kara: “You just need to keep trying with it! Keep telling her that you love her and you’re bound to get her eventually!”

Olga: “Next time, say ‘good morning’ and ‘how are you’ first AND THEN release the ‘i love you’! That’ll work.”

Rango: “You need to beat her in combat to show her that you want to be with her.” *flashes back to his old relationship from his past*

Mars Bar’s Player: NO DON’T FIGHT ME PLEASE

CH: “Thank you guys for the advice :’)”

Ch also tells them about the south park and they decide they’re going to find Mars Bar and then go to the park

So they put in the coordinates for the middle school and decide they’re going to try there first

Meanwhile, Mars Bar runs up to the children and tries to ask them for info, but they all run away from her and she gives chase to them

............ all the way to their school..............

A teacher watching the outside sees Mars Bar and stops her, and asks her why she’s annoying the poor kids

She says she’s from the government, but has no ID, so he doesn’t believe her so he goes inside and tells her to come back when she has something

She sits outside of the school and pouts for about half an hour before realizing that she’s hungry and getting nowhere with this

she’s lost so she checks out parts of the city, and tries to hide her face with her scarf before realizing that everyone is suspicious of her

she goes in another direction and finds a diner to eat at

she watches a couple start to go in and one says to the other “I could KILL for some eggs right now”

Mars takes that very seriously and decides to go in after them to make sure they’re not going to kill for some eggs

She sits down at the barstool area near where the couple sits and she looks at the menu but is illiterate so she’s going off of the few pictures provided on it

She decides she’s going to get a waitress to give her free food and gives her a compliment

she hears from the TV about the southern park and asks another waitress how to get to it, and recieves pretty simple directions

The couple starts to argue behind her and one of them leaves the other in the diner

Mars slides into the empty seat and tries to “comfort” the one left behind

That one is comforted and feels very empowered but also has no money so they get up and leave mars bar with the check after eating both theirs and the person who left’s food

The waitress brings out mar’s food and asks if she’s okay

She constructs a lie about how she’s friends with the couple and they said they would pay for her food since she doesn’t have money but they fight wherever they go and left her with the bills

so the waitress feels sympathy for her and pays for her

Mars gets a good meal of french toast and ham and walks out feeling full and ready to go to the south park

And we ended there for the night

[caandlelit]

dabihawks...wait for it....fake dating au

this is actually so appropriate 

no ones done this

but u all know exactly whats coming

(hawks is a scholarship student sent to a high class college bc the board got jealous of this really smart kid’s quote unquote ‘wasted potential’)

(dabi is a rich abusive business man’s eldest rebellious punk rock son)

so. hawks is walking to his next lecture when he sees a flyer on a noticeboard

“HELP. I am in need of a fake boyfriend to help me piss off my homophobic father when i go home for a family dinner. bonus points if you’re a delinquent and blatantly, ridiculously homosexual. payment in the best cookies you will ever have in your entire life”

*hawks voice* sounds like my kinda gig

he contacts him straight away

‘im always ready to piss off homophobes’

he meets up with dabi to discuss details at some hipster coffee shop called “tomuras’”

and immediately thinks

‘fuck hes hot’

yeah he has weirdass burns on his face what about it 

he has a deep sexy voice and tattoo sleeves and so many piercings hhh

and dabi sees him and immediately thinks

“aw hell fucking yeah he looks so gay and twinky I really hit the jackpot”

bc hawks is literally perfect for this

he has red wing tattoos on his shoulder blades

constantly wears rainbow patterned tanks and halter tops in order to show off the afore mentioned tattoos

and has multiple snapbacks that say ‘IM GAY’ one of which he is currently wearing

does that not scream homosexual

dabi is fucking delighted

okay so they have to work out the details of their ‘relationship’

dabis like, what do u think would have happened for us to kiss kiss fall in love

‘okay so I was thinking that it would have happened at a shitty hipster coffee shop, and I dont wanna name an actual coffee shop so lets just make one up lets call it like tomura’s or smth-’

dabi sNORTS

*distant shigaraki voice from behind the counter* fUCK OFF YOU BITCH ITS NOT HIPSTER OR SHITTY

‘yEAH IT IS GO FUCK YOURSELF’

*coughs* ‘anyways.’ 

dabis looking at him so fondly he’s in LOVE

‘you turned around with ur coffee and bumped into me, and you thought I was so hot that u spilled it all over me‘

dabi: *deadpans* I dunno man I feel like it’d be the other way around im way hotter than you

hawks: *whispers* hell fucking yeah you are holy shit those arms are killing me

*amused dabi voice* what

*panicked, painfully cracking hawks voice* nothing

they go with hawks’ story

bc in dabis words

“its so gay he’‘ll hate it”

when the day of the family dinner arrives hawks is super worried that he’ll end up not being sweet enough to rei or mix up dabi’s sibling’s names or ‘not be gay enough’

dabis lying on his dorm bed and watches lazily till he gets tired of hawks freaking out and throws a pillow at him to shut him up

gay pillowfight montage

they hit each other with hawks’ obnoxiously big pillows till feathers are flying everywhere and theyre giggling breathlessly

queue gay moment 

hawks ‘hey we should practice kissing’

“mhm we have to perfect it so its believable yknow”

‘so can we make out now’

‘yeah lets just get right into-mmph!”

dabi and hawks end up half and hour later then they were supposed to 

id say they were looking rumpled as all hell

but honestly thats dabis default

and its bold of you to assume hawks wouldn't waste even more time getting ready

hes wearing a pink tank top that says ’blatantly homosexual’ and skinny jeans

dabis wearing a leather jacket with many many many pride pins of the bisexual variety and a queen t-shirt

gotta stick to them “dabi listens to mainstream rock music” roots

(hawks suggested he dye his hair pink purple blue but he ultimately decides against it much to hawks’ disappointment)

so they come in and meet rei 

her hugs are amazing and make hawks feel so small and protected and cocooned in her warmth is this what a parent feels like

fuyumi; hello if you hurt my brother I will eviscerate you

hawks: dw id eviscerate me too 

fuyumi, grudgingly: good answer welcome to the family

dabi blushin rn

natsuo: hey big bro, hawks bro *fistbumps*

shouto: *chugs gatorade and t-poses* sup’

hawks: wh

*dabi voice* o h m y g o d I said just dont freak out my boyfriend thats all I asked of u assholes and what do you do you go and freak out my boyfriend I am disowning all of you-

hawks is staring at him with motherfucking heart-eyes

and then the whole happy everything is destroyed by endeav*r coming back from work

dabi slings and arm around hawks waist and ignores his blush, insufferably smug

”hello father this is my homosexual boyfriend we are homosexual and have homosexual sex”

hawks belatedly realizes that shit, he really likes it when dabi calls him his boyfriend which is a problem bc theyre not actually dating

so hes lowkey freaking out on the inside 

but he still plays his part to perfection

‘thankyou for being so accommodating, let me take ur jacket sir, ill put it next to my rainbow colored one over here’

endeavor is so pissed

and its glorious 

dabi is beside himself with glee at the dinner table as he is surrounded by his siblings

natsuo slurping soba loudly while staring directly at his dickhead dad 

and his mom is aloofly tuning them all out while in intense conversation with his sister about how society is bullshit and businessmen are disgusting

while fuyumi is sneakily scratching her fork against her plate to make a screeching sound which makes endeavores eye twitch every twenty seconds

and he is sitting next to and playing footsie under the table with his newly discovered love of his life 

whom he should probably

definitely

ask out after this whole thing

who is seemingly oblivious to endivores glaring and talking to him about how he’s so happy that he accepts his son for being gay and being generally so supportive of ‘us faggots’

endthevore is fuming and its fantastic

dabi intertwines his fingers with hawks and smiles and continues where he left off in his one sided conversation with shouto whos nodding and slurping determinedly (*wipes tear* ”i taught him well”) about the homosexual agenda as hawks silently tries to appear as if hes not having a heart attack beside him 

[andthest0ryg0es]

Do You Really Want Me - Chapter 30

Izzy is quiet on the ride from her house to his, scrolling through social media, wondering why Jared pushed her away. “He doesn’t want me,” Izzy texts Kate.

“He left? We’re on our way to his place for dinner now,” Kate responds immediately.

“We’re in the car. He kissed me. I wanted him. He didn’t want me.”

“Did he say he didn’t?”

“He wouldn’t let me touch him and said we needed to leave,” she texts back quickly.

“Who are you texting so frantically over there?” Jared asks, reaching across the car to squeeze her thigh.

“Why don’t you want me?” Izzy blurts out, without thinking, tossing her phone in her purse.

“What?” Jared questions, oblivious to her thoughts. “Babe, why would you think that I don’t want you? Of course I do. Are you crying again?”

“No. Yes. You kissed me. I wanted more. You wouldn’t let me touch you,” Izzy explains, breaking down once more.

Jared quickly pulls the car over onto the shoulder, slamming it into park. “Look at me,” he orders. “Let’s get one thing straight right now,” he tells her, softening his tone and wiping her tears away. “I want you every day. I want you now. I’ll want you tomorrow when you’re standing over the coffee press and everyday after that. Iz, I love you.” Izzy glares at him, unhappy with his response and bites at her lip. “What?”

“Sex, Jared. Make up sex. It’s kind of our thing,” Izzy cries out. “You didn’t want me.”

“Ohhhh, I did but I didn’t want to rush it,” he tells her honestly, trying to fight his smile. “Trust me when I say it was very hard.” Jared kisses Izzy’s lips tenderly when her eyes flicker to the bulge in his pants. “Don’t be dirty, princess.” Izzy giggles and kisses him again, quickly, licking her lips. “Later, I promise.”

When Izzy and Jared pull up at his place Shannon’s jeep is already inside the garage. Izzy hops out of the car, darting inside the house. She runs right past Shannon and everyone else still working and straight to Kate, who is opening a bottle of wine. “No! If I can’t you can’t,” Izzy tells her, leaning over the glass and taking in the scent of the wine. “I can have a sip, right?”

“No!!!!!” Shannon and Jared shout simultaneously. Kate pushes Izzy’s nose from inside her glass.

“Self respect,” Kate suggests, holding back her laughter. “Let me get you a nice bottle of water.”

“I hate all of you!” Izzy pouts, hopping onto a barstool.

Jared walks around wrapping his arms around Izzy’s waist and kissing her cheek. “She’s been a bit m-o-o-d-y today,” he tells Kate and Shannon, trying to make her smile.

Shannon laughs loudly, hushing it immediately when Izzy glares at him. “You’re so pretty, Iz,” Shannon tells her, smiling goofily and hiding behind Kate.

“Pregnancy hormones are a real thing guys,” Kate says, practically forcing herself between Izzy and Jared, running her hand down her friend’s back. “Leave her alone. She’s had an emotional week.” Jared kisses Kate’s cheek and nudges her ribs lightly, reminding her that he’s got Izzy’s back.

“Hey, I can hear you talking about me,” Izzy tells both Kate and Jared. “I’m not ‘m-o-o-d-y’. Why don’t you try having everyone around you point out everything you can’t have,” Izzy snarls at Jared. “It just sucks,” she mumbles, leaning her back against Jared’s chest. Jared tightens his grip around Izzy, holding her tight and kissing her face repeatedly until she laughs.

Shannon places a small gift bag on the bar and slides it over to Jared and Izzy. “What’s that?” Jared asks, leaning over the bar to peer into the bag.

“Just open it,” Shannon insists, his eyes full of pride. “It’s for the baby,” Shannon says excitedly as Jared picks the bag up, immediately handing it to Izzy to open. Izzy pulls a tiny t shirt from the bag emblazoned with a pair of sunglasses that says “COOL LIKE MY UNCLE” on the front.

“That’s so small,” Jared sounds frightened but Izzy rushes around the bar throwing her arms around Shannon, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you, Uncle Shannon,” she tells him with a giant smile on her face. Shannon holds her in a bear hug and they both look at Jared carefully examining the tiny garment.

“Imagine if I had given you guys the shoes I found,” Shannon laughs, wiggling his eyebrows as Jared finally looks up at the two of them.

“What’s for dinner?” Kate asks, taking Izzy’s hand and slowly pulling her from Shannon’s arms. Jared and Shannon glare at each other from across the bar, silently conversing about dinner while the girls sneak out of the room together.

Kate pulls Izzy towards one of their favorite couches and they plop down. “You sure you’re okay?” Kate asks, smoothing Izzy’s hair off her shoulder.

“I’m fine, Kate. You don’t have to worry so much,” Izzy assures her, holding her friend’s hand in her lap as they cross their ankles on the coffee table like they always do.

“I’m always gonna worry. That’s my job. Now I get to worry for two of you,” she says, running her hand across Izzy’s stomach.

“He loves me,” Izzy tells her. “He’s a moron, but he loves me,” she says laughing.

The guys emerge from the kitchen with plates of food in their hands and set them on the dining table but the girls are too wrapped up in their bubble again to notice. Jared smiles seeing Izzy happily wrapped up in Kate’s arms and legs again. “Is it wrong that I still find that hot, now that Kate’s technically my sister in law?” he asks Shannon, pointing towards the girls as Kate places a kiss on Izzy’s shoulder.

Shannon smacks him upside the head. “That’s my wife, man,” he protests, but then breaks into a huge smile. “But they are still hot,” he admits. “Girls, time for dinner,” Shannon calls out to the girls from where they’re standing.

“Omg, that smells amazing,” Izzy says loudly, pulling Kate up from the couch with her and dragging her into the dining room.

“Iz, it’s pizza. They ordered pizza,” Kate laughs, shaking her head as they walk through the room.

“Hey, if I cooked my unborn child would be homeless,” Jared deadpans, grabbing Izzy by the waist as she walks by.

“I still have a house,” she nudges him with her elbow, kissing his cheek.

“Barely, I nearly burnt it down last night. Better safe than sorry.” Jared tries to fake a pout but Izzy quickly captures his lips in a sweet kiss that they are both automatically lost in.

Kate rolls her eyes at their affection, “Okay you two, I’m sure you’ve done enough of that in the last 24 hours.”

“We haven’t actually,” Izzy pokes her lip out, not wanting to take her eyes off Jared when they finally break apart.

“Soon,” Jared whispers his promise, pulling her to sit with him at the table instead of where he’d initially sat her plate, whispering his love for her over and over again in her ear as she engages in conversations with Shannon and Kate.

“So, Jared what do you think you’ll do when that baby starts moving around in there, poking out of her stomach like an alien trying to escape,” Kate asks, completely ignoring the look of horror on Izzy’s face.

“Wait. What?” Izzy questions.

Kate continues, “Iz, you don’t remember when we were in college and that bimbo in your sorority got knocked up. I thought that thing was gonna come out of her stomach. That shit is what made me decide never to have kids,” Kate explains with her hands. Shannon feels a sudden chill that makes him him jump out of his seat in disgust at the thought.

Jared wraps his arms tighter around Izzy’s waist, protectively embracing her stomach with a smile on his face. “I’ll sing him back to sleep after I record it to show my brother over and over again,” Jared says with complete confidence.  “You aren’t scaring me Kate. I’ve been doing my research. I know what to expect.”

“We’ll see about that when it actually happens,” Kate huffs and Shannon instinctively wraps his arm around her, both soothing her and holding her in her place.

“I think he might handle it better than you,” Shannon whispers in her ear. Izzy laughs and kisses Jared’s cheek.

After dinner Kate grabs the plates to clean up, urging Izzy to stay put. “Babe, I’m gonna go talk to her,” Jared whispers after Kate disappears into the kitchen. Izzy promptly takes the seat over once Jared’s gone, returning to her conversation with Shannon.

“Hey, ummmmmm… Kate, did you know the first time I saw Izzy I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I made the biggest ass out of myself and you laughed at me. The second time and third time were pretty close to the first.”

“Yeah, Jared I remember,” Kate says rolling her eyes.

“You told me how stubborn she was and you convinced me that I should ask her out. It was you that pushed me and her. You bribed her to come over that night and you made her give me all those second chances. I know I fucked up and I know I lost your trust but I do love her.”

“She can’t be alone, Jared. You don’t know what that does to her.  You weren’t there. You don’t know how broken she was when her mom and brother died or when her dad lost it or when her fiancé cheated on her. I was. This, what you did on that beach, was worse. I’d never seen her that upset before,” Kate confides in Jared.

“I’m really grateful to you and Shannon for taking care of her when I fucked up. And I swear to you that it’s never going to happen again. When I realized how long I’d been gone and she wasn’t there anymore I lost my fucking mind. When I ran into Shannon I was searching for her and you attacked me and everything got fucked up,” Jared tells her.

“You hurt her. Make her cry one single day and Jared Joseph Leto, I swear to you on the life of your unborn child that I will make sure you suffer a slow and painful death,” Kate warns him, poking her finger into his chest.

“I’d expect nothing less,” he responds, grabbing her pointing finger and pulling her in for a reluctant hug. “I’ve got a surprise for you and my brother, but mostly for you,” he tells her after releasing her, pulling a printed airline ticket from a kitchen drawer. “I was an ass and I ruined your honeymoon and I’m sorry. I thought you needed a redo.”

“What? You did not,” Kate yells excitedly. “I can’t believe you did that,” she continues, wrapping her arms around Jared, any lingering anger she may have had towards him resolving in that moment. “When did you…”

“The day I got home. Kate, I promise you can trust me. I’m not going anywhere. I love her and the tiny little monster growing inside of her with everything I’ve got.” Jared’s eyes light up with the mention of his child. “Don’t tell her I called him a monster. How can I already love something so much that I know nothing about?”

“That’s what fathers do,” Kate tells him with a smile. “You are going to be a great father, but, Jared, we don’t know if it’s a boy yet.”

Jared shrugs his shoulders and blows Kate off. “Izzy thinks it’s a boy. I’m following her lead on this one.”

“Following whose lead?” Shannon asks from the doorway.

“Your brother did something right! We get a redo on our honeymoon,” Kate tells him the news excitedly, completely ignoring his question.

“Awesome,” Shannon says nodding his approval at his brother. “Ummm, the pregnant girl outside wants chocolate sooo… I hope you fucking have some.”

“There should be a basket of Mast chocolate around here somewhere,” Jared says, immediately setting to work searching the pantry and cabinets for chocolate for the mother of his child. Shannon and Kate take their time finishing the dishes and wiping down the counters until Jared finds it, and the three rejoin Izzy in the living room.

“Hey Shan, do you think you and a few of the guys could help me move that stuff from Izzy’s this weekend,” Jared asks his brother as Izzy tears open a chocolate bar.

“Move what?” Izzy asks, barely pausing in unwrapping her treat and shoving it in her mouth.

“The baby's stuff,” Jared tells her quickly, pulling his phone from his pocket and responding quickly to an email.

Izzy looks to Kate with an almost panicked expression. “But I thought you bought that stuff for the baby. Why would we move it?”

“I did,” Jared says slowly, realizing the tone in her voice has changed. He glances up to see Shannon staring back at him with a warning look. “Iz, we can hire a company if it would be easier. We can move everything at once.” Shannon’s face falls and he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Why?” Izzy asks him, crossing her arms in defense. Kate whispers in her ear to stay calm. “Calm, I’m calm. Jared, I’m not moving. I like my house. Kate and I bought that house when we first decided to move here. It smells nice and it’s girly and I have a hall and stairs and...it’s my home. This is your house. It’s all manly and bachelor pad. I can’t raise my child here. There’s always a hundred people around.”

“Iz, we can move to another part of the house. I’ll put walls wherever you want. Boundaries for Baby, we’ll call it,” Jared jokes, trying to pull her close for a hug.

“I’m not moving. Boundaries,” Izzy says sarcastically, pushing him away and standing. “You still have none. How should I expect your employees to have any?”

“Iz, that’s not true and you know it,” Jared points out boldly.

“First you break into my house and set up a whole nursery without any input from me and now you’re moving me into your house without a word. We haven’t discussed this at all,” Izzy barely manages to keep her voice below a scream.

“You said you loved the nursery, that it was perfect,” Jared defends.

“What if I wanted a different crib or lamp?” Izzy panics, searching for anything to prove her point.

“We’ll get whatever you want. It’s just stuff, Iz. I just wanted you to see I was serious about our family,” Jared tries to console his irrational girlfriend once more, grabbing her hand and trying to pull her back down to the couch. “It makes sense for you to move in here, I guess I just assumed you’d want to,” he sighs, looking to Kate and Shannon for help before he fucks this up worse.

“Shan,” Izzy starts to plead, closing her mouth promptly when Shannon looks up at her.

“Izzy, you two need to work these things out on your own but you know he’ll worry when you’re there alone. Fuck, I’ll be worried. We’re almost always here. Why be alone when you could be here with family,” Shannon urges her, standing by her side and putting his arm around her shoulder. “That’s my blood in there. Think about it. You don’t have to decide today,” Shannon tells her, glaring at Jared to back off her just a bit.

“Kate, you’re on my side, right,” Izzy asks, wiping a tear as it falls.

Kate shakes her head. “Iz, I love you more than anything but you should be here. What if you go into labor or God forbid something happens and you’re alone. With this traffic it would take any of us nearly an hour to get to you. Besides, we need a bigger office. We could sell the house and use the equity for a bigger location with more storage for all our supplies we’ve gathered.”

Izzy looks at Jared but she’s too exhausted to fight with him tonight. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” Izzy says shortly, kissing Shannon on his cheek. Izzy pouts as she grabs Kate’s hand and pulls her away from Shannon and out of the room with her.

“I want my child with me too. I don’t want to miss anything. It makes sense,” Jared can be heard telling Shannon as the girls disappear down the hallway. Kate can’t hide the amused smirk on her face.

Izzy sighs. “What?” Izzy asks with a huff as she pulls Kate into Jared’s bed with her, tucking them both under the covers.

“You’re going to sleep at his place. You won’t move in with him, but…”

“Why does he just assume I’m going to move in with him? He didn’t talk to me about it at all! He does that all the time and it drives me crazy,” Izzy complains, cuddling into Kate’s arms as she strokes Izzy’s hair soothingly.

“You’ll train that out of him eventually,” Kate assures her. “But you can’t reject every idea he has simply because he had it. He’s right, and you know how much I hate to say that… Promise me you’ll at least think about it. We’ve got a while before the baby comes so you have time to think it over for a while. No one expects you to make that decision today,” Kate insists.

Izzy hums a reluctant, sleepy agreement, her eyes closed and her body relaxed. A few minutes later the boys slip into the room quietly. Kate disentangles herself from Izzy as Jared slips into the other side of the bed and pulls her close, whispering his thanks to Kate as she leaves the room with Shannon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! <3

Tag List: : @msroxyblog @bradlea23 @babiiface16 @nikkitasevoli @maliciousalishious @snewsome756 @missechelon @iridescxntsolitude @meghan12151977  @jletos-guinness-girl @flowhi @bluegirl4life @blondiefrommars @ddg90 @iridescxntsolitude @cleoleto @elwin-smaragd

If you’d like added or removed from the list please let me know!

Thank you @jletolove4eva for getting me thru 2017 and putting up with my holiday writer’s block. You’re a saint and I love you.

[lifeflowingon]

| QUICKSILVER | 13 |

• SUMMARY: After a student is gruesomely murdered on campus, Baek Haeju finds herself trying to extract information from the only person who might know the truth. But is secretive English major Min Yoongi just a witness? Or is he the culprit?

• WARNINGS: Death, murders, sex.

• WORDS: 4224.

"I'm burning and I'm blacking my lungs.

Boy, you know it feels good with fire back on your tongue.

If you talk, you better walk, you better back your shit up.

With more than good hooks while you're all under the gun."

London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines | Panic! At The Disco

"You know, Haeju, I don't have all the time in the world..."

"Hold on, Jihye... OUCH!"

Haeju hits her ankle as she runs into her drawer, her laptop lying on the bed as she approaches it. Her sister is smiling right at her, looking happy and healthy. After months of no contact, they are finally able to talk via webcam, just because Jihye insisted.

"How's Chaerin?" asks Jihye, frowning in concern.

"She's doing better, still shaken," says Haeju, rubbing her eyes. "I spent the day with her yesterday... she is more talkative, but she still doesn't want to talk about that night."

"Poor thing," says Jihye, drinking from her coffee mug. "Okay, let's talk about that email you sent me."

Haeju swallows uneasily, bracing herself for the lecture. It seemed like a good idea to email Jihye at the time, she was so desperate to tell the truth to someone. She's not so sure about it anymore.

"How dare you send me that email?" mocks Jihye, adjusting the webcam. "I've been reading it over and over... Who knew? My innocent little sister, dating two guys at the same time... while trying to figure out a murder..."

"I'm just dating one of them now,' says Haeju, lying flat on her stomach as she fixes her bangs.

"Good, Jungkook is the nicest guy," says Jihye, glancing at her fingernails. "Although I don't approve of this mess he's gotten you in. I can't believe he's now a journalist, I used to clean his face after eating ice cream and-"

"I chose Yoongi." Haeju looks away from the screen, embarrassed, and Jihye lets out an exasperated sigh.

"This kid is going to end up fucking with your head," says Jihye sternly as Haeju decides to look at the computer again. "Sorry for the cussing, little sister, but seriously. From what I got reading your email... Yoongi equals trouble."

"I... I know," admits Haeju. "But I love him."

Jihye's eyes widen at Haeju's words, and her lips are parted in shock. "Love? Like... love love? Not infatuation... but love?"

"Yes!" says Haeju. "I... tried so hard not to fall for him, but I love him, Jihye. And I don't know what to do anymore."

And Haeju thinks of the past few days, the stolen kisses in secluded locations, Yoongi's texts, his fingers sliding over her body, his laughter... She loves everything about Yoongi, and it shouldn't be like this. Because it will end, she knows it.

"What if he is a murderer?" says Jihye in a low tone. "Or what if he's covering up for someone? Haeju, you were always the pragmatic one!"

Haeju sighs and fumbles with the keyboard, avoiding Jihye's face. Jihye goes on and on about the many virtues of Jungkook, of how this is all their parents' faults for getting divorced, that Haeju isn't thinking straight.

"Shut up!" Haeju finally yells, fixing her bangs again.

"Is that a tattoo?" gasps Jihye. "Baek Haeju, is that a tattoo?"

"Okay, I just wanted advice," says Haeju angrily, pulling up her sleeve. "But you're obviously judging me, so..."

"No, I only want you to be happy," says Jihye serenely. Haeju watches as a shirtless guy walks by in the background, and realizes that it must be Jihye's new boyfriend. Jihye is oblivious to this, and continues to address Haeju.

"Tell Jungkook you won't help him," insists Jihye. "Get out of this mess while you still can."

Haeju touches the screen and winces helplessly, trying to fight back tears. Her initiation will happen sometime today, Yoongi asked her to meet at the library. There is no turning back now, not with Acuity, and certainly not with her feelings for Yoongi.

"I can't," Haeju whispers. "It's too late."

xxxx

"In a few minutes, huh. And you said you're taking your camera with you, right?"

Haeju nods, and Jungkook is looking out the window, his jaw clenched. They haven't talked much during the week because Jungkook is as distant as ever, but Jimin is growing impatient and Haeju knows that deadline is approaching. Haeju readjusts the strap of her bag, the bag feeling heavy with her camera and change of clothes. Yoongi said that "it wouldn't hurt" to bring some extra clothes, the hint making Haeju even more nervous.

"Will you tell me everything?" asks Jungkook, glancing at her. His eyes are full of hurt, and he hesitates before moving closer to her.

"Yes," lies Haeju. Because she has made a decision in her mind. She won't tell them the true purpose of Acuity; she'll make up something. Haeju cares too much about Yoongi to destroy him, and that's why she will also tell him the truth tonight.

She doesn't even care about Yangmi anymore. She really doesn't. Or Yon. Haeju wants to be selfish for once, and be happy. And maybe if she is completely honest with Yoongi and asks for forgiveness, maybe it will happen. Maybe.

"Am I losing you?" asks Jungkook wretchedly. "As a friend?"

"No, I've been busy... working for you," says Haeju, reminding him of their deal. "I'm sorry. I should have known that things would be awkward if we didn't work out."

"You decided that," says Jungkook, his tone now cold and once again distant. "You're the one who said that we're not meant to be. I beg to differ."

Jungkook grabs Haeju gently by the collar of her denim jacket, and looks into her eyes. She can feel the heat in the tiny space, and she's glad that there is no one in the newsroom but them. Jungkook leans in, and Haeju's eyes flutter, confused.

"Detective Cha says that all leads point to Yoongi," says Jungkook quietly. "At least in Yangmi's death. He is surely involved in Yon's as well. This is why I need to know about Acuity tonight."

"And you will," breathes Haeju.

"Jungkook, what-"

Anya is standing there, her arms holding several books and files. Her eyes travel from Haeju to Jungkook and then back to Haeju, looking slightly shocked.

Haeju takes several steps back, blushing intensely, and Anya is still gaping at her.

"I'm ready," says Jungkook as Anya places the books and files on the desk. Jungkook then looks at Haeju; a side smile appearing on his lips. "Anya and I are writing this huge story about budget cuts. Research is needed."

"I have to leave anyway," mutters Haeju, and Anya is still glaring at her for some reason.

"You don't want to be late for your thing," winks Jungkook.

"Thing?" asks Anya curiously.

Haeju shrugs and walks out of the newsroom as her phone starts to vibrate. She flips it open and sees that it's a text from Yoongi, and she knows that it's time for her initiation.

She has never walked so fast in her life.

xxxx

Acuity certainly has a penchant for blindfolding people, because Haeju finds herself in the same situation she went through a week ago. She doesn't know where they're headed, she just got into the back of the hearse with some of the members of Acuity, and Tae blindfolded her.

Haeju is sure that it's been at least an hour since the ride started, and the silence is driving her insane. She wonders what happened to her bag, if Jiah is going through it or what, but Haeju knows that nothing incriminating is in there.

The hearse finally stops moving, and Haeju sighs with relief as Yoongi kills the engine. She hears doors opening, leaves crunching underneath feet, and soon she's pulled out of the hearse. They walk for a few minutes, still silent, and the scent of pine makes Haeju sneeze a few times.

"Sorry," she mumbles, but nobody says a thing.

"Ah, you're here." Namjoon's voice greets them warmly, and someone let go of Haeju's hand. Haeju stands helplessly as she listens to the others mutter; she hears zippers unzip, some giggles, and she can't stand the uncertainty anymore.

"Okay, Baek Haeju. Are you ready?" asks Chaeku, his tone businesslike.

"Yeah," says Haeju eagerly, and suddenly, she can finally see. They're in the middle of what seems to be a forest, or a really remote park. All of the members of Acuity are wearing black robes, and Chaeku hands her a gray one, his smile tentative. Haeju slips it on and Yoongi beckons her to join them around the fire, and she stands between Bongchol and Seokjin.

"Bringing the fair to the unfair," says Yoongi loudly, and everyone claps. "That is our mission. We are here today to welcome a new member, Baek Haeju. She will bid goodbye to her name and embrace a new one. Baek, please tell us your Acuity name."

"P-Paragon,"she stutters.

"Paragon," the group echoes solemnly.

"Paragon, do you promise to join Acuity's fight against unfairness?" asks Jiah coldly. "Do you promise to help Acuity in it's mission to stop bullying, no matter what?"

"Yes," says Haeju.

"Paragon, do you swear to never reveal the secrets of Acuity?" asks Bongchol, giving her a little smile.

"I swear," squeaks Haeju.

"Paragon, do you swear that you will never betray us?" asks Seokjin, and there is something in the way the fire reflects in her eyes, because Haeju is shivering uncontrollably.

"I won't ever betray you," gasps Haeju, feeling lightheaded. Yoongi moves from his position and walks over to Haeju, holding something that resembles a black rug.

"Are you fully aware of the responsibilities and risks in Acuity?" he asks.

A smirk is threatening to take over Yoongi's lips, and Haeju feels somewhat safe.

"I am," says Haeju, sounding braver than she feels.

xxxx

"It wasn't that bad."

"Sorry?" asks Yoongi, moving closer as a bottle of beer dangles from his fingertips. Everybody is laughing as Hoseok's marshmallow catches fire, and Seokjin starts dancing along to a pop song Bongchol started singing. Everybody has removed their robes just to reveal normal outfits, and Haeju's shiny new black robe is lying next to her.

"The induction... I expected something scarier," admits Haeju, holding on to her soda.

"We're not satanists, Haeju," chuckles Yoongi, slurring a little. "We just hack into the school's systems and mess with admissions. Hardly a horror movie subject. Did you expect us to feed you blood?"

"Something like it," blushes Haeju, and Yoongi leans in. Haeju pulls back, blushing furiously, remembering that most members in Acuity don't know about their relationship.

"Ah, fuck it," says Yoongi, dropping his beer and cupping Haeju's face, pulling her close to him. Yoongi kisses her fervently, and catcalls are heard in the background.

"I knew it!" says Namjoon triumphantly, and Haeju opens her eyes in shock, her heart beating extremely fast. Yoongi puts an arm around her shoulder and most of the Acuity members are giving them approving smiles. Except...

Tae looks pale, but... He already knew, right? Seokjin has his lips pursed as he opens another can of Coke, and Jiah crosses her arms, completely ignoring Hoseok's cheers.

"Hoseok is a genius, you know?" grins Yoongi. "He changed a dozen admission statuses last night, in like... five minutes. Amazing."

Haeju can't say a word because she's feeling guilty, again. Will this feeling ever go away?

"The cabin belongs to the Kims. Namjoon and Seokjin," mumbles Yoongi into her ear. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yeah..." says Haeju, tearing her eyes off those three who are looking at her in such strange ways.

"I'm going to get a book," says Seokjin crossly, walking away.

"He's just pissed off," says Namjoon, holding up the bottle of champagne he has been enthusiastically drinking from. "He can't drink, and that always gets him in a bad mood."

"Why?" asks Chaeku as Soojin starts biting his earlobe playfully.

"A little incident... in the past," winks Namjoon. "Let's just say Seokjin would be a great PSA for drinking and dr-"

"Namjoon! Can I have a sip?" blurts Tae, grabbing the bottle from Namjoon. "Thanks!"

Tae glances at Haeju from the corner of his eye, and then the guy looks at Hoseok, who is staring uneasily at his sneakers. There is definitely something going on, but Yoongi doesn't seem to notice; he's too busy toying with the collar of Haeju's jacket.

"Where's my bag?" asks Haeju.

"I'll get it," says Yoongi, kissing her on the cheek before standing up. Haeju watches him leave, and Jiah walks over, taking Yoongi's seat.

"You will have your first assignment on Monday," says Jiah, smiling a bit. "It will fun. I'll help you out since it's the first time you'll do something for us."

"That sounds good," says Haeju, returning the smile.

"Sorry for... not being too accepting of you," says Jiah quickly. "You were friends with Jeon Jungkook and trust me, we don't like that guy."

"So I've heard," says Haeju sarcastically.

"He's been trying to find out stuff about Acuity ever since he started working for the paper," sighs Jiah, drawing circles on the ground with the tip of her shoe. "He's pretty good at being nosy, and it just got worse after Yangmi's death. I don't know... I thought you were going to spy on us."

Haeju's stomach feels heavy, and she smiles nervously. "No... I. No."

"I know that now," says Jiah, patting her on the back. "Welcome to Acuity, Haeju."

Jiah smiles at her again before leaving, and when she joins the rest of the group, she kisses Hoseok in front of everyone. Haeju sighs sadly, knowing that whenever she tells the truth to Yoongi, more than one person will hate her.

"Here." Yoongi has returned, and he's handing Haeju her bag. Haeju looks through it, and grins when she finds her camera.

"We should take some pictures," suggests Haeju. "Have like... an Acuity album."

"Eh, I'm pretty sure that would compromise all of us," frowns Yoongi.

"No! Because we're just friends... hanging out," says Haeju, and to be honest, she intends to keep the photos to herself. To hang on to something in case things go terribly wrong.

Seokjin comes back, holding a book close to his chest, and he stares curiously at Yoongi and Haeju. But Seokjin says nothing, and he sits next to Bongchol, who hands him another soda.

"Guys!" calls Yoongi. "Look!"

Yoongi grabs Haeju's camera and takes a picture, almost blinding all of them.

"Goddamn it, Yoongi," chuckles Hoseok. "Ah, I want to take a picture!"

Hoseok's first victim is Seokjin, who awkwardly smiles at the camera while holding his drink. The polaroids are falling on the ground, and they're being collected by a very hyper Tae, who seems amazed at all the photos.

Soon enough, the only thing that people can listen to for miles is the laughter of young adults, followed by camera flashes and the promise of a night that will never end.

xxxx

"You can stay with Tae, if you want to," says Yoongi, looking down the hallway. The Kim's cabin is incredibly spacious, with plenty of rooms for everyone. Haeju didn't expect to stay overnight, but she guesses that that is the reason why Yoongi told her to bring clothes.

It's a night of taking chances, and Haeju knows it. It doesn't make it any easier, or less scary, but she's sure of this.

"No, I want to stay with you," she says softly.

"Ah, literally sleeping together, huh?" teases Yoongi.

"I want to," says Haeju, her voice breaking a little.

"Oh." Yoongi seems affronted and nervous by this, and he scratches his head pensively. "You... You want to... um, you do?"

Haeju looks at him, their eyes meeting, hoping that's enough for Yoongi to understand. She doesn't want to say it out loud.

"Here?" frowns Yoongi. "I always pictured this differently. You were usually getting out of a wedding dress and I looked like an idiot wearing a tie."

Haeju giggles at the mental image, wrapping her arms around Yoongi's neck. "That's sweet of you," she says sincerely. "But... I do want to spend the night with you. I love you and... I've been thinking about it."

"What about your vow?" whispers Yoongi as footsteps approach them.

"You guys can have the other master bedroom," says Seokjin, handing them towels. "Chaeku and Soojin already, um, marked their territory in the main master bedroom. How classy."

Haeju blushes and Seokjin gives her a sympathetic look. "Hey, sorry if I've been rude," says Seokjin bluntly. "I don't trust people easily. That's all."

"You're nice enough to let us stay here," says Haeju shyly.

"Yeah... well... someone has to fund some of Acuity's adventures," winks Seokjin. "This is nothing, really. Okay, Yoongi, you know where the other bedroom is. Make sure to behave."

Seokjin leaves them alone, the sound of his shoes scratching the floor mirroring Haeju's heartbeats, and Yoongi laughs.

"Okay, um... let me find Chaeku," says Yoongi, blushing. "Um, er... the bedroom is just... um... fucking hell, Baek, I can't talk."

"Upstairs?" suggests Haeju.

"Yes, that," says Yoongi, holding on to the towels. "Just wait for me, okay?"

They look at each other one last time, and Haeju walks away first, headed towards the stairs. She quickly finds the "other" master bedroom, her jaw dropping at the size of it. All this luxury shouldn't be allowed in a cabin, she's sure.

She puts the towels and her bag away, and Haeju sits on the edge of the bed. She toys with her purity ring, taking it off and then putting it back on, and wonders what changed.

She had always been so sure that she would wait until marriage, but it just seems right.

Or maybe she just wants this memory of Yoongi before everything goes to hell.

She waits for a few minutes, and soon Yoongi's footsteps are heard in the hallway, and Haeju can barely catch her breath. Is it supposed to be this nerve wracking?

"I had to see Chaeku naked," winces Yoongi as he closes the door behind him. "That was not cool."

"Why did you need to talk to him?" asks Haeju amusedly.

"Um..." Yoongi shows Haeju a shiny packet, and she realizes that it's a condom. He walks over to the nightstand, and places the condom on top of it, looking terrified. "Look, we really don't have to do this, Haeju. I'm fine with just doing the stuff we've been doing, okay? Just because we're in this nice place, it doesn't mean that-"

"Why are you so eager in talking yourself out of this?" asks Haeju, irritated. "I want to sleep with you, I do."

"Because... this is it," says Yoongi, and he sounds afraid. "Once this happens, it's like the ultimate commitment. After this, I will be a mess if you ever leave me."

Haeju stands up and walks over to him, quickly crushing her lips against his. Yoongi kisses her back, wrapping his arms around her as he pushes her to the bed, and they make out furiously. Their kiss is wet and heavy, and Haeju pulls on Yoongi's hair, wanting him to do more.

"Fuck," breathes Yoongi, taking off his jacket. He kisses Haeju again, but gentler this time. His hand slides under Haeju's shirt, and she jumps at his touch, realizing what's about to happen. But Haeju doesn't want to turn back. She wants this.

Yoongi patiently removes all of Haeju's clothing, and then he removes his own, less patient. Although Haeju has seen him naked before, she still feels embarrassed at the sight of his skin, and even more bewildered at the fact that she is able to touch him.

Haeju gasps as Yoongi gets on top of her, his lips torturing her neck, his fingers teasing her breasts. He's moving slowly and cautiously, as if afraid to hurt her. Haeju whimpers when she feels Yoongi's tongue on her nipples, digging her fingers into his scalp. Everything feels so good, her body is on fire, and she trembles in anticipation.

Yoongi's finger pushes inside of her, and after a few seconds he adds another one, and it hurts a little. But Haeju bites her lip soundlessly, enjoying the attention Yoongi is giving to the upper part of her body. She feels close to coming, and suddenly, Yoongi stops.

"Are you...?" Yoongi is asking for permission, and the lust in his voice is obvious.

"Yeah... yes," mumbles Haeju, and Yoongi reaches for the nightstand. Haeju lies on her back as she hears the packet being ripped open, and she gulps. It takes Yoongi a few seconds, and then he's back on top of her, kissing her cheek, neck, throat, lips. Haeju absentmindedly spreads her legs, wondering if she's doing this right.

"I'll go slow," says Yoongi, his voice barely audible. Haeju nods, knowing that Yoongi would never hurt her, and she moves her hands up and down his back.

She feels the pressure at once, and her body seems to break a little. A high gasp escapes her, and the pain makes her close her eyes for a moment. Yoongi is moving really, really slow, and Haeju holds her breath as her body adjusts to the intrusion.

"Haeju, I love you," says Yoongi, his body still.

"I love you too," smiles Haeju, opening her eyes. She's sure that Yoongi can see the tears, because guilt comes across his face, and she smiles wider, trying to assure him that it's okay.

Yoongi's thrusts are gentle and slow, and Haeju appreciates that. While it's not completely comfortable, it's not as bad as Chaerin made it sound. Haeju is actually feeling some sort of pleasure, even if it hurts a little.

They kiss, and Yoongi starts moving slightly faster, causing Haeju to dig her fingernails in his back. She has never felt so raw, so exposed... so loved. Haeju knows that she will never be able to love someone the way she loves Yoongi, because now, she's given him the thing she valued the most.

She feels Yoongi's teeth sinking on her collarbone, his tongue quickly caressing the spot. Haeju's fingernails dig deeper into his skin, and she wonders if she's hurting him, but part of her wants to leave a mark. She's his. She sure hopes so.

Haeju can feel something building up, and the air is not breathable anymore. Yoongi is panting into her mouth, his groans dying on her lips, and she holds on to him as things seem to slow down.

Yoongi kisses her lovingly, their bodies sweaty and, well, slightly sticky. This is nothing like Haeju had pictured or imagined; she had always thought it would be a painful ordeal. But she doesn't regret a thing.

Their physical connection is suddenly broken, and Haeju feels immediately sore. Yoongi pulls her close to him, holding her in his arms, and he presses his lips against her forehead.

"I would do anything for you," says Yoongi hoarsely. "I want you to know that. Anything."

Haeju can hear Yoongi's phone ringing somewhere in the room, but Yoongi isn't moving. "You should get that," says Haeju quietly.

"No, I want to stay here with you," says Yoongi, cuddling closer to her. But the phone keeps ringing insistently, and Haeju looks at Yoongi pleadingly.

"Fine," he teases, and gets out of bed, slowly disentangling himself from her. Haeju fixes her eyes on the ceiling, going through the speech she has already rehearsed many times.

Yoongi, there is something I need to tell you...

You know I love you, right?

Jungkook is still my friend and I...

Yoongi answers the phone as he clumsily grabs his boxers from the floor and attempts to get halfdressed.

"Hey, what's up?" he asks crossly. "I'm kind of busy."

Yoongi starts frowning as he holds on to phone, and then anger flashes in his eyes. He looks away from Haeju and turns his back on her, and Haeju swears Yoongi is shaking. But he's not saying a word; he's just listening to the other person on the line.

"Ah," he says finally. "I see. Thanks, Pica."

Yoongi hangs up, still not facing Haeju, and he throws the phone violently at the wall. Haeju sits on the bed, covering herself with the messy sheets, her eyes wide in fear.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing," says Yoongi in the coldest tone he has ever used. He turns around and Haeju can't really read his expression as he walks back to the bed. Yoongi sits next to her, and Haeju realizes something. He's looking at her the same way he used to when they "hated" each other.

Oh no.

"You would never lie to me, would you?" he asks calmly, and Haeju looks at him, searching for any hints that Yoongi might know something. But now he's looking at her with love in his eyes, so no, he can't possibly know anything yet.

Right?

"I..." Haeju falters as Yoongi rests his hand on her cheek. "No. I... I would never lie to you."

"Thought so," he smirks, and kisses her.

But for some reason, the kiss tastes bittersweet.

| masterlist |

[hopeymchope]

Seeking Security - Naegiri Week 2017, Day 3

Happy Day 3 of Naegiri Week 2017!

The prompt for today is “Safe.” Be sure to click “Keep Reading” at the bottom, or follow one of the links below to see the whole story; this one ran longer than I intended.

Links:

Seeking Security on An Archive of Our Own

Seeking Security on FanFiction.Net

Sayaka Maizono was staring out the window of the Hope's Peak dining hall, looking over the plastic trees. "Pretty soon, these phony closed-in courtyards will be as close as we can get to the outside world," she said.

The entire 78th Class was seated around various tables in the dining hall - save for one Aoi Asahina. Even so, the room was largely quiet when she spoke, and the mood was somber.

Leon Kuwata was sitting in a chair pointed outward from one of round tables nearest the window. His attention quickly snapped to Sayaka when she spoke. "First off," he began, "We're still gonna be able to watch TV and use the 'net and that stuff." He tried to sound more confident as he continued, "And second, you don't know how long this thing will last. Maybe we'll go on lockdown and have to crack the school back open within a month — maybe even a week!"

Sayaka turned towards him and smiled sadly. "I kinda doubt it," she muttered.

Junko Enoshima was leaning on the back wall of the dining room, positioned just to the right of the board that was previously used to display each day's menu. Mukuro Ikusaba was standing near her sister as usual with her arms folded, apart from any wall or table, but Junko wasn't paying Mukuro any mind. Instead, Junko was filing her nails when she said, "Worried about somebody, Maizono-san?"

Sayaka turned and looked at her with some surprise. "Why would you ask me that?" she asked, her voice breathy.

Junko looked up at her and smiled. "You're staring out a fake window talking about wanting to see the outside world, which is basically a hellhole right now anyway, right? Seems like maybe you're thinking about some of the people who won't be as safe as us during this nastiness."

"Wow," Sayaka said. "Yeah, I was thinking about some people I was worried about." Her expression shifted from shock to a warm smile in an instant. "Are you psychic, Enoshima-san?!"

Junko raised a hand to her face, covering her mouth and nose as she leaned back dramatically. "Maybe I just have really good intuition," she said coolly.

"HA!" yelped Yasuhiro Hagakure, who was hanging out next to Leon. "That's funny 'cause you just said the thing that Maizono-chi always says when she-"

Celestia Ludenberg, over at the end of the longest table situated in the center of the room, lowered her teacup from her mouth. "That was the point of Enoshima-san's remark, Hagakure," she scolded Hiro. Hiro hung his head, facing down towards the surface of the table.

Junko looked at Hiro and Celestia with irritation. "Ignore them, Maizono-san," she said. Turning her attention back to Sayaka, she continued, "Why not tell about the people you're worried about? It'll probably help to get it out, right?"

Sayaka looked down at the floor. "Maybe... " she conceded.

Makoto Naegi was seated near the middle of the center table. He finally turned his attention to Sayaka and Junko. "You don't need to talk about anything you don't feel comfortable with," he advised Sayaka. "We all know this is... it's a tough time."

His neighbor was Kyoko Kirigiri. She was sitting down to Naegi's right as she reviewed some notes in the Kirigiri Case Notebook. She'd been researching what they knew about the tragedy that had rapidly engulfed the world in an attempt to understand how it had spread so quickly and was only faintly following the conversation in the room. However, the sound of Makoto's voice finally shook her from her focus. There he goes again, she mused. Always quick to offer sympathy and support.

As Makoto finished speaking, Aoi Asahina walked into the room. "I'm all done with my video record," she announced. "Ishimaru? The headmaster wants to record your acceptance next."

"Understood!" Kiyotaka said firmly. He stood up from one of the smaller round tables, where Mondo Owada gave him a thumbs-up as Taka headed out the door. Hina passed by him on her way to another one of the round tables. She took her seat next to Sakura Ogami, who put one of her large hands on Hina's shoulder sympathetically.

"Okay everyone," Sayaka announced, clearing her throat. "It's like Enoshima-san said... I was thinking about the people I'm leaving behind."

Makoto stood up and adjusted his position, turning to sit down on the table itself. Kyoko looked over from her notebook when his butt came down beside her hands on the table. She stared at it for a few seconds, silently admiring how his jeans hugged his thighs and rear until she forced herself to turn back to her notes. Hormones are the enemy of an alert and productive mind, she reminded herself. I wish dad had invested some of Hope's Peaks resources into finding ways to control invasive biological urges...

"We're all thinking about them," Makoto said to Sayaka while remaining oblivious of Kyoko's attentions. "But all of us who have families waiting for us have talked to them and gotten their support. Heck, my family was shocked that I would ever not want to take this opportunity."

"It's not just my family," Sayaka told him. "The ones I'm most worried about are the other members of my group. We all worked so hard to succeed. We made our careers together, ever since we were kids, and I just want all of them to be okay." Sayaka lifted her hand to her mouth and put one finger against her lower lip, looking up towards the ceiling. "Ummm, especially Haneyama-san. She's always been my best friend from our idol group, but she lacks a lot of the confidence that put the rest of us up-front on the stage. I hope she's gonna be okay."

Junko laughed a little. "Girl, you have nothing to worry about," she said. "My agent was already planning to squirrel my butt away in some safe house before he heard about Hope's Peak's lockdown plan. I'm sure the reps for your group have similar plans. They're gonna wanna keep their stars shining as inspiration for the world and all that."

Sayaka smiled at Junko. "I'm sure you're right," she said brightly. "Thank you for that, Enoshima-san!"

Junko smiled so brightly that she squinted. "No big!"" she said. "Maybe we should all share the people we're most worried about, yeah?" She looked out across the dining hall and spoke up loudly as she continued, "This is an awesome opportunity, peeps! We can let out the fears we all have about the people stuck outside of this school, and grow even closer as a class in the process." She grinned a big, toothy grin and threw her arms wide as she shouted, "So c'mon, people! Let's give it everything we've got! Iiiiit's bonding tiiiiiiiime!"

Kyoko placed the notebook on the table and turned her head to Junko, frowning as she did so. Typical of Enoshima, she thought with irritation. Ever eager to stick her nose into other people's business.

Hifumi Yamada adjusted his glasses and chortled a bit. "Our Enoshima-dono has such stirringly dramatic flair!" he enthused. "You should become a narrator on an anime someday."

"Shit," Mondo groused. He leaned back in his chair and swung his feet up onto the surface of the table in front of him. "If we're really doin' this, who's gotta kick it off? I mean, I'm not sayin' it's not an okay idea. I'm just sure as hell not goin' first," he grumbled.

"Maizono-san already went first," Sakura pointed out from two tables over. "Just because Enoshima-san hadn't yet announced the idea that we can all share our concerns for others doesn't mean her admission doesn't still count."

"Whatever - I'm not going fuckin' second, either!" Mondo shot back. He turned and looked over the room with a scowl until his eyes locked on Byakuya Togami seated at a table by himself in the far corner. "Hey, why not do an easy one next?" he offered, his expression brightening. "Let's make the poor little rich boy tell us about all the nobody he's worried about."

Byakuya was reading a book in the corner, doing his level best to ignore the fact that Toko Fukawa was staring at him at the adjoining table. He didn't bother to look up as he fired back, "I never agreed to participate in the fashion model's latest farce."

With little more than a tiny smirk on her face, Kyoko laughed inwardly at the way Byakuya managed to make "fashion model" sound like an insult. That short distraction left her unprepared when Makoto opted to speak up with surprising authority in his voice. "No one is pressuring anybody to talk about their loved ones," Makoto said. "If you want to talk, I think that's great. But no one's gonna make anyone open up." Kyoko sneaked an admiring look at Makoto's face when he finished, and she couldn't help but smile a little. She allowed herself another quick glance at the curvature of his butt before she picked up her notebook and attempted to return to her intended task.

Hiro, who was still looking downward at the table in front of him, swallowed so hard that many of the people around him actually could hear it. "Okay... sure," he began, speaking haltingly. "I'd kinda like to talk next. 'Cause I'm just... well, I'm super worried about my mom," Hiro told the room. "She's always been there for me. She's like, the most important person in my life, and-"

"Hagakure-kun is a mama's boy!" Junko interrupted, momentarily gleeful. Her face fell as soon as she finished, though. "Actually, that may be kinda cute, but it's also pretty predictable. Couldn't you have picked, like, a fortune-telling mentor some crap like that?" She let out an exaggerated, overwrought sigh. "Going with the parent is just so obvious and boring."

"He-hey!" Hiro cried. He shot upright and pointed an angry finger at Junko. "You didn't set up any rules beforehand! And my mom is not boring!"

"Whatever," Junko said, rolling her eyes. "Fine. Let the record show that Hagakure loves his mom and blah blah blah."

"Stop it," Makoto said sternly.

Kyoko's attention was once again diverted to Makoto. Mukuro also spun to look at Makoto, her eyes wide with either shock or fear — it was difficult to say. Junko's own face looked just a bit taken aback. "What now?" Junko asked.

After taking a deep breath, Makoto answered her. "Listen, Enoshima-san," he said calmly. "I know you're stressed out about this. We all are. And I trust that your intentions are good by trying to have us open up to each other. But that doesn't mean you can take your stress out on us while we do it by... by insulting us while we bare our souls. That's just going to make things worse for everyone here — and it's going to make people resent you." He pushed off from the table and stood upright. "You want us to bond more? Start by not being cruel about it."

Kyoko smiled reflexively. He can get rather intense at times, she thought. Very admirably so. He doesn't tolerate unfairness or injustice... it's hard to not be attracted to that.

Further down the table, Hifumi Yamada pumped a fist in the air "Incredible protagonist speech, Naegi-dono!" he cheered.

"Well damn," Junko said with a giggle. "I didn't realize you could get so commanding, Naegi-kun." She smiled at him, letting her eyes droop to a half-lidded stare. "Fine," she acquiesced. "I'll concede that I got a bit harsh. My bad; I'll try to tamp down the sarcasm."

"Yeah! G-good!" Hiro said, still sounding a bit rattled.

Makoto smiled and nodded to Junko in appreciation. "Thanks," he told her. "I just... um, sorry if that was... I mean, Ishimaru-kun wasn't here to make that kind of speech, so I tried to do what I think he would've done," he said softly, casting his eyes down to the floor. He ran one hand nervously through his head of hair before he sat back down on the table with an uncomfortable chuckle.

Junko cocked an eyebrow at him in a way that made him wonder what she was thinking. With that, she looked to Hifumi. "Well, since you liked Naegi-kun's speech so much, Yamada-kun, would you like to go next?"

Hifumi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm... " he hummed. "And you, who has not always been kind in regards to my talents and hobbies? What assurance can you give me that I shan't be mocked for my weaknesses, m'lady?"

As Junko attempted to debate Hifumi, Kyoko leaned towards Makoto. "I think you did very well," she said softly with a gentle smile on her face. Makoto turned to his side and looked down at her when he heard the remark. "However," Kyoko continued, "If your intent was to sound like Ishimaru-kun, I must confess that to my ears, you failed."

Makoto's eyes widened as the corners of his mouth simultaneously turned down. "What do you mean?" he said back.

She looked him in the eyes and said, "As far as I could tell, you sounded like Makoto Naegi."

He looked genuinely shocked by the compliment. "Re-really?" He blurted. He leaned forward, averting his eyes as he whispered. "I mean, well, of course I sound like me, but... you don't think I sound kinda dumb when I get all gung-ho like that?"

"I think you sounded like the exact opposite of 'dumb,'" she whispered back with more than a hint of unintended affection. She felt her chest flutter a bit, and something in the back of her mind screamed at her: Don't betray your emotions. Don't expose yourself to vulnerability. Not again.

Before she could give into her feelings any further, she slid her chair from the table and stood up, turning to face Junko. "I have a suggestion," Kyoko stated, interrupting the model's appeal to Hifumi. "Why not tell us whom you are worried about, Enoshima-san? I think such a gesture would be the ideal way to kick off your 'bonding time' activity."

Junko shrugged. "Sure, why not?" She winked at Kyoko before tacking on, "And in exchange, you get to go next! I know you like to keep your feelings on the D-L, but I'll show you mine if you show me yours!" Junko smiled her huge smile, her eyes widening as she did so. "A fair deal, n'est-ce pas?"

Kyoko folded her arms, already exasperated with Junko's antics by now. "I suppose it is," she conceded. "Provided that you go first."

Junko wrapped her arms around herself as though she were embracing her favorite person and closed her eyes, smiling so hard that she started to blush. "The truth is that I've got it better than most!" she enthused. She turned and looked at Mukuro, then opened her arms as though preparing to hug the air before her. "The most important person in my world is my big sis, and she's gonna be right here with me for this whole boring lockdown!" Mukuro smiled back and blushed happily as Junko immediately turned away and looked towards the false window. She curled the end of one ponytail around her finger, and spoke wistfully as she explained, "There is something I've been doing with my spare time, though. Something you all probably don't know about. Something that... well, honestly? You might be a teensy bit surprised by it."

Leon leaned forward in his seat. "Are we supposed to guess?"

Junko half-smiled at Leon and giggled. She put her hands on her hips, suddenly speaking haughtily as she declared, "You shan't be able to guess in even one hundred tries! Nay, not even a thousand!" Dropping her hands, she looked at the floor and resumed her previous tone of voice. "So, y'know, I'll just tell ya straight up," she said, instantly depressed. "I've been kinda getting to know the class of 77-B a whole lot over the past few months. Even though I'm the underclassman, they've really gotten interested in learning about how I deal with this big, ugly world. I mean, I do see some pretty messed-up stuff in my line of work, so I guess it makes some kinda sense they'd want to know how I cope, I guess?"

Kyoko frowned only slightly, unsure if whether this was one of Junko's jokes. There didn't seem to be a clear patch to a punchline, though. "I suppose it does," Kyoko answered her. "It explains why you've gone missing for extended periods during the past semester," There's something else, she sensed as she watched the blonde's expression. Something she's not telling us. What would be the point of lying about this though? Perhaps just to serve another one of her bizarre jokes or group activities... ?

Junko's face lifted a little, taking on a satisfied, pleasant look "Yeah, I've hung out with them a lot lately," she concluded. "We've gotten pretty tight. I want them to secure their futures as soon as possible," she told the room. "And I want them to take all necessary precautions as they do it."

Sayaka lifted her left hand to her mouth as she gazed on Junko now. "That is surprising, Enoshima-san," she said shyly. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't know you had that kind of interest inside you."

Junko waved Sayaka's concern away. "No offense taken," she promised the young idol. "I try to keep how much I care about stuff buried deep inside sometimes. I mean, if I'm going to be real, I should tell you that there are some other people I love a lot, too." Spinning to face the entire room, Junko spread her arms wide and announced, "It's you, my classmates!" She rocked back and forth eagerly as she said, "I know I tease you all a lot, but I haven't had a family for years now... " She looked down and quietly claimed, "You guys are like, the next closest thing."

Chihiro Fujisaki clapped his hands together and began to tear up. "Th-that's... that's incredibly sweet of you, Enoshima-san!"

"I agree," Makoto told her, beaming.

"Extremely kind, Enoshima-san," Sakura followed. "And I believe most of us would agree with that same sentiment."

Junko soaked in the praise for a bit before turning her attention to Kyoko. "Well, detective girl?" she pressed. "Are you okay to go next?"

Kyoko had her hand to her chin when Junko asked. From there she paused and looked around the room slowly. "I am," Kyoko finally confirmed." With just the hint of a smile, she told the group, "My situation is surprisingly similar to Enoshima-san's," she told everyone. "There's just one person left on the outside of this school that I'm concerned about - my grandfather, who raised me and taught me how to become a true Kirigiri detective. He means very much to me, but in truth, I'm not that worried about him. I know he can handle himself."

"So... how's that similar to Enoshima-san?" Hina asked from her own table.

Kyoko pivoted towards Hina. "Because just like her, most of the people I care about are going to be safely locked within these walls."

"You mean like your father?" Makoto asked.

Kyoko rotated her head before spinning her body to face Makoto completely. Part of her wanted to explain everything right there — to tell him exactly who she was thinking of when she mentioned 'people.' It's you, she thought. Who made me start to come out of my shell when I first arrived. Who I've gotten to befriend and know so well over the past year. The one who brings down my walls and makes me feel like it's safe for me to open up again. You blind idiot... of course I mean you.

Instead, she just told him — and the others, too, but she mostly seemed to be speaking directly to Makoto — "Yes, that's one example." She hesitated a second before adding, "Along with my wonderful classmates and friends, of course."

[liesyousoldme]

i wrote a Thing but idk how i feel about it so i’m going to put it here and just... see what happens. maybe one day it’ll move to ao3 as a oneshot but for now i’m super unsure about the characterization aksdfjldsfs anyway if you’re interested here’s a post-battle fix-it fic where eddie AND stan live but you only see stan for like five seconds

tw for some serious internalized homophobia including dealing w religious beliefs because religion is a big part of eddie’s fear of being gay and i never really put it in fics bc it can be such a tricky subject but. here we are.

also tw for thoughts/plans of suicide (it’s super brief)

this is...angsty.

“Meet back in half an hour?” Mike’s voice was cheery as he looked around at the six other Losers that stood in the hotel lobby.

Beverly and Eddie spoke at the same time – Beverly suggesting they do breakfast instead so everyone could get some rest, and Eddie loudly saying: “You expect me to get this nasty shit off of my body in less than thirty minutes?” He noticed Richie wince next to him. “What?”

“Dude, you’re screaming,” Richie told him, just as Mike agreed with Beverly.

“No I’m fucking not,” Eddie countered, frowning.

“As much as I hate to agree with Richie,” Stan said, “you are. Clean out your ears while you’re in the shower.”

Eddie gaped at his friend. “My… my ears?”

“Bet you got leper puke in there,” Richie added, grinning.

Eddie was horrified. He hadn’t realized everyone else had already headed upstairs to their respective rooms to shower – except Beverly and Ben, who seemed to have entered the same room. He wasn’t even sure where Mike had gone; he hadn’t heard the door of the inn open and shut but he also apparently had leper vomit in his fucking ears -

“While you guys argue, I’m going to take a shower and call my wife,” Stan said, an embarrassed expression crossing his face. Eddie wasn’t sure what to say; they all knew the story: Patty had caught Stan in the midst of writing seven letters, stopping him from following through on his plan and calling Mike to find out what had been so awful that her happy husband had decided to calmly sit down and write suicide notes for her and six people she’d never heard of. Mike and Stan had explained the situation to her as well as they could; in the end, it had been Patty who convinced Stan that he couldn’t turn his back on a promise.

“Well, I’ll see you in thirty minutes, Eds,” Richie said, when the door closed behind Stan. He started up the stairs when Eddie’s voice stopped him.

“There’s… I don’t have a shower curtain anymore,” Eddie told him, voice still too loud. “Or, it has a knife hole and blood on it… Also, there’s blood in my shower...”

“Eddie Spaghetti, are you trying to get naked with me?”

Eddie floundered, face turning red. “Wh – I – No! I just. Shut the fuck up, Richie!”

Richie laughed, gesturing at Eddie to follow him. “C’mon, dumbass, you can use my shower. I’ll even let you go first.”

“Wow, my knight in shining armor,” Eddie muttered, following Richie up the stairs. He’d already brought his luggage back up and left it outside his own room, so he grabbed it and entered Richie’s room. Richie was already digging through the one small suitcase he’d brought.

“You know…” Richie started, then paused. Eddie looked at him, dropping his toiletry bag on the bed next to Richie’s luggage. Richie looked back, biting his lip. He finally shook his head. “Never mind.”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“Just take your shower, Eds,” Richie sighed. 

Eddie felt his stomach drop and knew the disappointment on his face was obvious. He hated when people did that, started to say something and then pulled a never mind, and Richie knew that. Richie was looking down at his bag, still moving clothes around like he was looking for something, but Eddie was sure it was just a way to avoid eye contact. He waited for Richie to say something for a few moments, and when he didn’t, he rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom.

It was disgusting work, peeling off the clothes he’d been wearing for over 24 hours. He realized this outfit had been on an airplane, in a rental car, at a restaurant, in the basement of the pharmacy, covered in Leper puke, bled on from his own stab wound, through the Derry sewer system, into It’s lair and finally into the Quarry.

He already began making plans to burn all of it. He’d get the others in on it, too. A big fire pit for all their clothes, something symbolic for burning up all the shit they’d been through - he’d ask Bill, Bill was a writer, he’d know symbolism. And maybe if they burned the clothes the memories would burn too, and if they didn’t have the memories of what happened down in the sewers then maybe the fear would burn right up with them.

The shower in Richie’s bathroom was exactly the same as the one in his own, down to the ugly green color of the curtain, and the sight of it made him shiver. He stood under the water unable to close his eyes, constantly checking to make sure a crazy escaped inmate wasn’t waiting on the other side of the curtain with a knife. He’d seen Bowers’ dead body, but he couldn’t help but think the sharp end of a knife was going to tear through the curtain at any moment.

He started by cleaning out his ears, steadfastly avoiding looking at the gunk that he removed, then moved onto his hair, because he knew he’d have to keep his eyes closed the longest to rinse out shampoo and he wanted to get it over with. It took three washes before his hair felt sufficiently clean, and he’d only peeked around the shower curtain four times. After that, he used a washcloth from the hotel, lathered in his own antibacterial body wash, to scrub every inch of his skin until he was bright red but clean. He checked for an intruder only twice as he did so. He washed only the bottom half of his face with his face wash, carefully avoiding his new stab wound, choosing to scrub his forehead with the washcloth so as not to risk soap in the eyes. It wasn’t until he had opened the curtain and begun to dry off that he realized how hard his heart had pounded the entire time he’d been showering.

He was going to have to find a place with a walk-in shower, the kind with a glass door and glass walls - not even the foggy kind, just plain old see-through glass - once he decided where he was going to live after he left Derry. Not only did his house in New York have tubs with shower curtains, but it had Myra and years of unhappiness, and he had already decided he was not going back before he’d even left.

Once he was dry, he stepped out of the shower and frowned, wincing when it pulled at his injured cheek. He knew he should go to the emergency room, knew he needed stitches, but he was so fucking tired. Every muscle in his body ached from overuse and he wanted nothing more than to sleep for 12 hours.

He wrapped the towel around himself tightly and exited the bathroom, already planning to avoid Richie’s gaze and letting his eyes go directly toward his suitcase on the bed.

However, they landed on Richie in nothing but a white t-shirt and boxers on the bed, instead. He was clean, dark hair wet against the pillow, and he grinned wolfishly at Eddie.

“Oh,” Richie said. “Do you have something you need to tell me, Eds? You sleep in the nude? I’m sorry, but I’m not your wife, so – “

“Shut the fuck up,” he groaned, his face heating up. For a moment he worried that blushing would make his cheek gush blood, but Richie didn’t react and he didn’t feel any wetness, so he figured that was probably paranoia. He really needed fucking stitches. “I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me. How did you shower?”

“I used Ben’s, since he’s busy fucking Beverly in hers,” Richie answered casually.

“Christ, Rich,” Eddie muttered, shaking his head. “Don’t… You can’t say shit like that, they’re our friends.”

“Just because they’re our friends doesn’t mean we have to pretend like they’re not absolutely having sex right now.”

“I’d prefer not to think about it, actually,” Eddie said, kneeling down to the floor where Richie had placed his luggage and looking for something to use as pajamas.

“I’d prefer to think about it,” Richie grinned, waggling his eyebrows at Eddie, who had glanced up to give him a disgusted look.

“Stop thinking about Beverly naked, Richie.”

“Oh, it’s not Beverly I’m thinking about,” he said.

Eddie whipped his head around, clutching a t-shirt in his hand.

“Oh, come on,” Richie said, looking in the opposite direction. He’d tried to hide it but the change in tone was obvious to Eddie. Richie’s fingers fidgeted where they rested on his chest. “Ben’s super hot now, and Beverly’s like… my sister.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what to say. Was this a joke?

“Um,” he cleared his throat when his voice cracked. “What?”

“Don’t act all oblivious now, Eds,” Richie continued, though Eddie could still hear the discomfort in his voice. He always resorted to that fake laughter, to jokes that didn’t quite land, when he was nervous.

“Uh – Is this…” Eddie trailed off, staring at Richie’s poker face. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious about Ben. Like, are you actually attracted to him?”

Richie glanced to the side. “Attracted to him how?”

Eddie felt the urge to stomp his foot. Richie was being difficult on purpose and he wasn’t sure how, but somehow this was a ruse to make fun of him. “Attracted to him the normal way, Richie. Like, physically. Sexually. Whatever.”

“Well I certainly wouldn’t say no if he offered,” Richie shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said, “but is this you coming out to me right now?”

“I thought I did that at dinner when I talked about how hot Ben was.”

“Can you be serious for like, five seconds?”

“I am being serious!” Richie insisted, sitting up. Eddie pulled his t-shirt over his head without removing the towel from his waist. “I mean… if you’re okay with that?”

“If I’m okay… With you being attracted to Ben.”

“No, you fucking dumbass!” Richie rolled his eyes. “I don’t give a shit about Ben!” He paused and shook his head. “Okay, no, I give a shit about Ben, just not like that. I just meant… if you’re okay with me being… not straight.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathed. He was clutching his towel.

“I uh, probably should’ve done this at a better time, huh?” Richie said, cheeks red. He laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. “Like, when you’re not naked.”

“I’m not naked,” Eddie argued weakly.

“You’re naked enough,” Richie muttered.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“God, Eddie, please tell me you’re not this fucking stupid.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Eddie asked angrily.

“Nothing,” Richie answered, shaking his head. “Just go back to your room, Eds. I’m sure your bed doesn’t have blood on it.”

“Dude, no,” he said.

“I’m not asking, Eddie. You need to leave.”

Eddie stared, eyes wide. He’d never heard Richie’s voice like that and it made his stomach twist into knots. He was glued to the floor, watching as Richie sat up and put his feet on the floor.

“Eddie,” Richie said, his voice still cold. “I can’t do this right now, okay?”

“Do what?” He knew he sounded whiny but he couldn’t help it, Richie wasn’t making any sense.

“I can’t talk about my fucking feelings with you, Eddie,” Richie yelled, standing up from the bed. “Not when I just came out to you and you had no fucking reaction, and you’re either stupid or purposely ignoring what I’m trying to tell you, and you’re fucking naked!”

Eddie exhaled heavily. “You said you were attracted to Ben.”

“Oh my God,” Richie laughed to himself, though there was no humor in it. “So you are actually just that fucking stupid, then.”

“I’m not stupid, Richie, I understand what you’re telling me!” He shouted, finding a pair of underwear and gripping them in his hand. “I just – I don’t know what to say! I don’t know what you want me to say!”

“Just say you don’t hate me,” Richie choked. He looked up and there were tears in his eyes. Eddie’s heart lurched. His eyes drifted down, taking in the way Richie’s t-shirt was tight on his broad shoulders, the way it was so thin he could see the pink of his nipples and the black of his chest hair, and even lower than that more black, leading down… “Eddie?”

His head snapped up, heat crawling down his chest. “I-“ He took a moment to regain his thoughts. “I don’t hate you.”

“You sound very believable,” Richie snarked, falling back down onto the bed. “Now that we’ve had this shitty conversation, can you please just leave?”

He was trying to sound unbothered, even verging on annoyed, but Eddie could hear the hurt underneath. He didn’t know how he felt, but he knew he hated to hear Richie sound like that. Gathering his resolve, he found a pair of pajama pants in his luggage and marched back into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He made short work of dropping the towel and dressing, ignoring the way his hands were shaking.

He'd never thought of another man like that. The way Richie seemingly thought about him. He’d never –

But that was a lie, and he knew it.

He had thought, he’d just ignored it. Even though he’d told Myra he wasn’t coming home, she was still technically his wife. And for his entire life, he’d technically been a straight man.

(Straight men don’t want a better look at their male best friend’s happy trail, his brain told him, and he shut his eyes tightly to try and make the mental image go away.)

So he occasionally spent a little too long looking at other men. And he occasionally thought of strong thighs and broad shoulders and low groans when he got off. But it wasn’t…

He thought back to childhood. Had he felt like this about Richie then, too? He remembered how close they had been, physically. Had he been leading Richie on, all those times he climbed into the hammock with him? All the sleepovers where they shared a twin bed? The movie nights where he hid his head in Richie’s shoulder during the scary parts?

Was it leading someone on if you wanted it, too?

What if you didn’t even know you wanted it?

Did he want it?

He didn’t notice he had begun to wheeze loudly until there were two knocks on the bathroom door. He jumped, gasping for breath he didn’t have. He felt dizzy.

“Eds? Are you okay in there?”

There was concern in Richie’s voice, none of the hurt from before. Eddie yanked the door open to find Richie standing on the other side, his worried look exactly how Eddie had pictured it.

“I’m sorry, Eds,” he mumbled, stepping back so Eddie had room to get through the doorway without getting too close. Eddie didn’t move. He tried to breathe in deeply, gripping onto the door handle. “I didn’t mean to freak you out-“

“Can you help me?” He asked, interrupting Richie’s apology. Before he could answer, Eddie went on. “When I – When I breathe, can you count? Slow; 4 in, hold for 4, out for 4?”

He wasn’t sure if Richie could even understand what he was saying, but Richie was nodding, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed. Once he was sitting he closed his eyes against the dizziness and gasped for air, ignoring the tears that leaked out the side of his closed eyelids.

Richie’s voice was quiet as he counted. It took a few minutes before Eddie was breathing on time with Richie’s count without his chest feeling deflated, and it was only then he realized they were holding hands. With his free hand, he wiped the stray tears from his face. Once he felt like he could speak again, he turned to Richie.

“Panic attack,” he whispered. “Not asthma. Myra always just made me use my inhaler but… I saw a therapist, for a little bit. Right before the wedding. She taught me how to… How to make it stop, without it.”

“Why would she still think you needed your inhaler if it’s not asthma?” Richie asked, keeping his voice at the same quiet level as Eddie’s.

Eddie huffed a laugh. “Because it makes me weak. She likes me weak.”

“Eds, you’re not weak. You’re probably the bravest of all of us.”

He shook his head. Richie didn’t say anything else, just sat next to him while he focused on keeping his breathing even. He didn’t want to think about Myra, or about the kinds of things you need to be brave for. 

Richie was still holding his hand, and he let his eyes wander his direction, past where their hands lay in between them and to Richie’s legs, bare in just his boxers.

He’d never paid much attention to his own legs, or really the legs of other men. It wasn’t something that had crossed his mind-

(except maybe it had, when he was younger and laying in a hammock, but it wasn’t really about legs then, was it? It was about skin, the electricity he felt on days they both wore shorts)

-except in his dreams, the fantasies he pretended he didn’t have, the ones where thick, hairy thighs were wrapped around him, around his waist, around his head, on either side of his own – and he pretended not to think about what was in between, either, how lightheaded he felt when he got fucked up enough to really let himself think about it, to think about what was inside Richie’s boxers-

(but it wasn’t Richie’s cock he dreamed about (wasn’t it, though?) when he took enough of those anxiety meds that his filter turned off)

-and he could see it now, at least the outline, where thin material didn’t do enough to hide what was inside.

He was breathing too quickly again.

“Eddie-“

“You need to put pants on,” he choked out, taking in a deep breath.

Richie stood up immediately but Eddie couldn’t look at him as he spoke, embarrassment evident in his voice. “Fuck, Eddie, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about it – I – fuck, I swear I’m not – I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable-“

“It’s just-“ He sucked in another deep breath, clenching his fists. His mouth started moving without his permission. “It’s – It’s hard to have a fucking gay crisis when your legs and your – your fucking dick are right there and I want-“ he closed his eyes when he heard Richie’s breath hitch. “I just… want. And I can’t have because the second I do I’m – I can’t – It’s wrong, Richie. It’s wrong, right?”

Richie had put on a pair of sweatpants while he was talking, and now he knelt next to Eddie, making sure to keep some distance between them. His face was red, and Eddie could tell his breaths were harsher than normal, could see his hands clenched into fists. But he didn’t say anything, just looked at Eddie, who choked out a sob. “Help me,” he begged, though he wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking for. He just wanted, and he needed that to be okay.

“It’s not wrong, Eds,” Richie finally said. His voice cracked. One hand came up to rest on the mattress next to where Eddie sat. “I know it – it was fucking hard growing up when we did, right? Getting called names and listening to people talk about AIDS like it was punishment, and even now, hearing all the bullshit from people who swear it’s all a sin, like it’s something we chose. But we didn’t, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, and if you… If you choose to act on it, you’re still not doing anything wrong.”

“How do you know we won’t go to Hell?” Eddie whispered, grasping the comforter in his hands. He felt young, like a child asking for reassurance, but he was trapped in his own mind, trapped in the church he went to as a kid, where taking the bread was an act of courage every day, because God was going to know somehow, and He’d come right into the church and damn him straight to Hell.

“I don’t, really,” Richie answered. Eddie looked at him, helplessly. “But I think… You go to Hell for doing bad shit, right? For being a bad person. But there’s nothing – there’s nothing bad about love. I’m not doing anything bad by loving you.”

“What about sex? That’s – that’s the bad part, right? Love is great and whatever, but when it’s sex…”

“That’s not bad, either,” Richie promised. Eddie jolted when he grabbed one of his hands, uncurling his fingers from the blanket. “It’s natural and normal. But I don’t – I really don’t know what else to say, Eds. The whole religion thing was never a major issue for me. That’s probably more suited for like, intense therapy.”

Eddie nodded jerkily, laughing a little and squeezing Richie’s hand.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, “for talking me down. You were always the one that took care of me.”

“Yeah, well,” Richie shrugged, voice still soft. “I love you, so I’m gonna take care of you no matter what.”

Eddie wanted to tell him, wanted to say he loved him, too, but the words stuck in his throat.

“I’ll always let you take care of me,” he said instead, and hoped Richie understood what he meant.

“What are you going to do next? With – As far as, you know, your marriage?”

Eddie sighed. “She already knows I’m not coming home, but… I still have a job in New York. I guess I’ll have to find an apartment. I don’t know. And you’re right, I should go back to therapy, because I clearly have some shit to work out.”

Richie nodded. “I don’t think there’s a single one of us that doesn’t need to go to therapy weekly for the rest of our lives.”

Eddie snorted. “I don’t know how well a therapist would take it if you walked in and started talking about how you fought and killed an evil alien clown.”

Richie laughed. “Eh, I’ll write it into a stand-up routine instead. Comedy is basically therapy, anyway.”

“No,” Eddie said, vaguely alarmed, though still amused. Richie was grinning at him. “No, Richie. It’s important to me that you understand joking about your trauma onstage to a bunch of strangers is not the same as therapy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie said, waving him off. He crawled backward until he was leaning against the pillows again, the same way he’d been when Eddie had gotten out of the shower. The bed was big enough that if Eddie were to lay next to him, they wouldn’t be touching. He thought about it. “And if you want, I have an apartment in the city. I’m not there very often, I spend most of my time in LA or on tour, but. There’s two more bedrooms than I need and… I mean, we could split rent or whatever. Even if it’s just til you find a place for yourself.”

Eddie looked at him. He wasn’t avoiding eye contact, but he wasn’t making an effort to look at Eddie, either. His hands were folded on his chest again.

“Okay,” Eddie agreed, taking a leap and situating himself next to Richie on the bed. His head hit the pillow and he sighed. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about how close Richie was. He fell asleep to the soothing sound of Richie’s even breaths, and when he woke he felt more rested than he had in years.