#my sinuses are killing me and I'm aching

[saltofmercury]

Hi! So i completely forgot if i sent you a request already, and if i did, i'm sorry! If not, I am having the worst stomach ache right now and it's the end of my period :( -- I know this trope is very common, and you may have written something like this already, but if you haven't, may I request König taking care of the reader during this time?

Pairing: König x reader

Authors note: I changed it up a little to be gender neutral, so sorry it's not the exact prompt.

König takes care of you when you get sick.

You woke up and felt the scratch in your throat. A stinging, painful, hoarse feeling that something was coming. You already dreaded the day. You had hoped you would feel better by taking a hot shower to try to open your sinuses but it seemed too late. You were getting sick.

You tried to mentally retrace your steps, seeing how or who could’ve got you sick, but it didn't matter, it was coming on strong.

You continued your morning drinking tea, having vitamin c, having liquids to try and flush out whatever was inside you, but at no prevail, you felt your nose start to run.

Great. The second symptom had already come. You walked toward the living room. No König, perhaps he was still at the gym.

The rest of the day was a blur, you tried to occupy yourself with work, but the headache that accompanied your runny nose came. You put your laptop down, took a deep breath, and set an away message on your emails.

This was coming on strong and mentally you weren’t prepared for it. When was the last time you got sick? You hated being sick.

You messaged König to ask where he was and to pick up some things from the pharmacy.

“Are you sick?” came through text.

“I think i’m coming down with something, I’ll go home if you want me to,”

“Nonsense, I’ll be there soon.”

You went to the couch and wrapped yourself in the blanket you had brought over from your house to his. His house had started collecting things from you, things he insisted would be necessary to keep at his.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

“I’m fine” you answered, “I just need to kill this before it gets worse.”

He looked down at you and mumbled, “maybe this is the sign of working too hard? You know you need to take a rest every now and then from that company of yours.”

You smiled, “I’m going to get better soon, don’t worry.”

But by the time it was already dinner time, settling on the couch after eating dinner, you felt the fatigue coming on. Eyelids heavy from exhaustion, body running hot, other parts cold, and ears blocked off. You settled into the couch away from him, wrapped yourself in your blanket and dozed off.

You woke up to a large hand feeling your forehead.

“Scheiße! (Shiza) You are burning up”.

You didn’t say anything. You could feel the heat surrounding your body, from your toes to your head, you felt awful.

König had started to panic. When was the last time he was sick? He got cold water from the fridge and brought it to you with some medicine.

“Come on sicko, take the medicine”

You had whimpered, there was definite pain surrounding your body, moving your body right now wasn't a choice. He saw how flushed you looked, sweaty and sticky.

You begin to cry.

“I-I feel so awful.” Hot tears came down from your face and a sharp knife had gutted him because he had no idea on what to do on how to make you feel better.

“Once you take the medicine you’ll feel better, okay? You gotta take this first.”

You sipped on the cough syrup and drank the warm water he gave you. Still hiccuping about how awful you felt.

He walked over to the kitchen and got a kitchen towel, wrangled it under cold water, placing the towel on your head.

The coolness of the towel had helped your dull headache, made your face feel cooler.

He started to remember all the things his mom used to do when he would stay home “sick” from the bullies.

He goes over to the kitchen, starts making soup. He always has the ingredients, makes a mental note of the time you took your meds.

You doze off, fatigue winning the battle in your body. You feel cold, but your body is burning up. He replaces the towel and at midnight he wakes you up to take more medicine.

“Come on little mouse, every 6 hours to kill this.”

You’re woken up, your hair sticking out, matted by the sweat, your clothes feel sticky, and you’re not about to fall asleep this way.

“I need a shower.”

“A shower?” He says quietly, unsure if that’s the best decision for you right now.

“Yes I need one, I'm all sticky.”

He doesn’t want to fight with you but he suggests not washing your hair. A memory from his mom saying “wet hair will only get you more sick.”

He picks you up, there’s a small warmth coming from his body and it’s when you know you’re fucked because he’s always as hot as a space heater.

He sets you down in bed, runs a hot bath. The way you clutch at him only certifies you are freezing.

He carefully undresses you, before pulling back your hair attempting to cover it with a towel-like headband. He sets you in, you’re still clutching at his neck, as he bathes you, making sure you can feel the water down your neck. He grabs a washcloth, suds it up with soap, gently cleaning where you’re probably sweating. Your neck, your armpits, down your legs, then proceeds to really wash you.

He leaves for a second, just to turn on the heater so that you’re not hit by the cold, he also sets a humidifier in the room.

He picks you up, you’re so limp, tired, his shirt is wet. He dries you off gently, putting on your underwear and one of his big t-shirts.

You feel fresh, like the water had taken most of the icky feeling from your body. He takes you to bed gently covering you with his bedsheets, picking up your hair away from your face. You suddenly can breathe a lot better now, maybe it's the eucalyptus he put in the humidifier. The meds are kicking in, slowly lulling you to sleep.

König settles in next to you, petting your face, brushing away the hair. He's worried, it's not like you to cry, or moan about pain. It's not like you to get sick.

The next morning when you wake up, he's got your meds ready, a bowl of chicken and rice soup, and water.

He checks in on you every 2 hours, luckily your fever is going down. He still make you drink vitamin c, broth, and water. He has a strict schedule with your cough syrup. He doesn't like seeing you like this.

*

Two days later, when you're feeling back to your normal self, you approach him from behind with a big hug. Grateful, happy, and just feeling blessed that someone like him is here with you.

"Thank you for taking care of me." you say towards the back of his neck.

He blushes, turns around to face you.

"Are you feeling better?" His big hands roam your face, he can see some glow to your face, your eyes are much brighter too.

"Jesus schatz, you had me scared there for a minute. I don't like it when you don't feel good."

You sniffle a bit, your runny nose at the end point of sickness.

"I know, but thank you for taking care of me."

He scoffs, shaking his head.

"What are boyfriends for?"

[aprincessofthevoid]

The filling that fell out almost a year ago has finally come back to haunt me... could hardly sleep last night cus my face hurt so bad. TWO naproxen didn't even touch the pain. (Tho that's nothing new tbh). Don't want a long aas post clogging up anyone's dash, so rest is under the cut.

Also didn't proof read this super well cus now that I'm not as sore I'm getting sleepy cus I didn't sleep much last night so if it's a Lil choppy I apologize lol.

Over the years, I noticed pain meds never really worked, so I didn't bother with them. The option was to take the max dose, or potentially more to get relief, but doing that consistently was just not something i was down for. But at the dentist for the filling that fell out more recently, dude dipped into multuple syringes of the lidocaine, and had to numb the nerve in the hinge of my jaw for me to not feel him digging around in my face.

Found the same when I had an iud inserted, took meds before as instructed, even brought a joint lmao. As well as going for the discomfort of that giant ass 10g needle stabbed into my cervix, and it did NOTHING... I've got a fairly high pain tolerance, but I stg I had a better time when I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed at once... and those were ALL infected, two were impacted, and when treating said infection, I had a freak reaction to the amoxicillin for the first time in my life... go me...

ANYWAY, shit I tried off Google and how it worked...

Sensitivity toothpaste rubbed into my gums/teeth helped a very short time. Sent the bf for orajel the next morning n honestly it worked about as well as the toothpaste, just for longer.

Also strongly mint?? Like specifically just peppermint antacid in my mouth helped rhe ache?? Apparently it's a thing lol. Honestly was just looking for a distraction from the ache n felt like the minty feeling might help.

Salt water rinse helped a little too. Did a rinse but a VERY gentle swish, better to puff out your cheeks and roll your head back n forth. Kinda burns but it will help kill any infection as long as it's minor.

Had some tea earlier on with sage, lemon balm, clove and rosemary. As all of them have geberal anti inflammatory or anti bacterial properties. Weirdly another tip I found was just a damp black tea bag placed against the affected area, actually felt FANTASTIC but the downside was it made my spit SUPER bitter if I swallowed it, so my option was wanting to gag at how gross it was, or be in pain... and obviously couldn't sleep with it in there cus that would be dangerous. Might try just drinking some black tea or brewing the black tea with the other herbs for some extra kick, no honey sadly but I'll have to deal with the bitterness.

Acetaminophen worked a lot better than the naproxen here. Was told by a Dr for a different pain I was in, that I COULD take them together tho (as in one of each), but since the naproxen didn't seem to do fuck all I'm gonna just do 2x extra strength Acetaminophen. Which also isn't ideal long term, but I CANNOT sleep with the pain I'm in so for a temporary situation I'm just gonna have to drink extra water or sum...

Other option is the T3 I had leftover after my tooth removal, had some ibuprofen too but left those when I moved away from fam. I'd rather take an extra Tylenol than the codeine tbh. Just feels a Lil less harsh on the system.

Fingers crossed the boyfriends work insurance goes thru so I can get this delt with... otherwise I might have to just have to be in pain to give my organs a break from all the drugs 🙃 gonna try my netti pot to hopefully clear any gunk out my sinuses as the ear on that side is a Lil plugged too (tip. Take a deep breath, close mouth, plug nose, and swallow. Works WAY better than plugging your nose and blowing).

[enberlight]

Does anyone know? Could my vitamin D & iron deficiency have caused the 20 years of crippling pain I had before taking a multivitamin +4k iu/day of D?

Without vitamins, I'm short of breath after minor daily activity, inflamed, aching to my BONES, stiff, and my colon is ON FIRE and, to be blunt, not cooperating.

But blood tests have NEVER spotted low iron & low D is "new" within the last 3 years. I've been trying to chase this down since 2000 ish, my energy took a nosedive after I tore my meniscus in 1998 and developed tendinitis after. And I've gradually been collecting more inflammatory issues since.

"Chronic Fatigue" was a new term around then and one they didn't want to diagnose me with, they just shrugged when I didn't line up perfectly with Rheumatoid Arthritis or Fibromyalgia. I ticked a lot of the boxes, but didn't go past the "threshold for diagnosis." They were just like, eat right and take your antidepressants.

That's never been enough. But going on a multivitamin (WITH IRON) seems to have been the tipping point. The high doses of D helped (50k iu/week wore off in 3 days, so I took 4k a day and WOW hi awake now), but I was still getting anemia and fatigue and constant soft tissue and tendon pain.

Those nearly disappeared until the doc took me off vitamins for surgery prep :\ Now OMG I'M ON FIRE AND STIFF AGAIN.

It would honestly be nice, in a way, if most of my chronic pain, inflammation, and fatigue turns out to be "you just need vitamins & sleep, let's fix your sinuses, here's a pill."

But it will be UNSATISFYING after a flare up & $$$$ bill

(uterus is still trying to kill me, the vitamins didn't tame it.)

For extra context, because who knows what counts? Maybe y'all do, the docs don't... Anyway. My fingernails have minor ridges along the length, and twist a bit (they look like broad side-bent shovels if I let them grow out). And I have tinnitis, chronic depression, anxiety, ADHD, possibly autistic and bipolar. And was super flexible til all this inflammation turned me into a board. (Not double jointed or anything though.) Just uh. Hi Chronic Illness Tumblr, you know more than Google. Help? XD Thyroid checks out fine, btw, but my liver and kidneys are sus.

[shieldofiron]

AAAAHHHHH

what about Big! Billy that is also a hidden omega- and dom tiny alpha Steve finds out when billy goes into heat- and like billy is feral as hell and very protective over Steve afterwards while Steve is like

“Awe look at my big wolf man 🥺”

I swear, A/B/O is in the air! It’s on everyone’s mind! This one’s fluffy and not SUPER Smutty but... I mean... still dirty come on look at the ask.

Billy was sort of drifting in and out. He would come to with Harrington over him, Billy’s back sliding against the makeshift nest of school towels, his body pulled taut with desire. It seemed like every single atom and piece of his body would ache out for Steve, pulsing like a heartbeat, and then he would fade away and come to with his arms wrapped around Steve, pressing their foreheads together and murmuring sweet nonsense.

It wasn't like he planned it. They'd been the last in the shower, and Harrington had been lingering under the spray. His back had been to Billy, and Billy might have started daydreaming, looking at the taut muscles of Steve's back, his high tight ass. No one at school knew that Billy was an omega, he took the highest dose of blockers possible for his size. And his size was a lot. So he was normally tranq-ed up so bad he couldn't smell a thing. But in the shower, with the hot steam opening up his sinuses, Harrington's lithe, perfect body could fill the space with his scent and Billy wouldn’t complain.

He rubbed soap across his chest for what could be the third time and wondered idly if Steve could smell him here. Billy was so turned on he could nearly smell it too, though that was probably just the daydream. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, lazy and soft and slow.

Harrington turning too, was in slow motion, hazy with steam. He said something, but no words came out, just like a daydream. He really was alarmingly pretty, all flushed, his brows drawn up in concern.

Concern. Why would he be concerned?

The room has seemed to tip sideways and then he was being held awkwardly in Steve's arms, half held up by the wall. His legs felt like jelly, but it was fine because Steve was here soclosesoclose.

Harrington's pretty pink mouth was opening and closing but it took Billy several moments before he could bring himself around.

"...Heat?" Harrington asked, "Hargrove, are you okay? Smells like someone’s going into heat."

Harrington's smell, like mint and freshly picked oranges, swirled into Billy's head and sent a wave of pleasurepainpleasureohfuckfuck. Harrington was surprisingly strong for a shorter guy, never was that more evident than when Billy's knees nearly gave out under him.

Strong. Such a strong alpha. And pretty, he would give us such pretty...

"My dad," Billy slurred, "My dad's gonna kill me."

Harrington just frowned harder, "Hargrove... are you an omega?"

Billy tried to get his feet under him, "You can't t-tell..."

Harrington was leaning in, inhaling with that strong sloped nose, "Hargrove you're going into heat?"

"C-can't be. I'm on... like 900 milligrams a day."

Harrington hissed, "That's a lot."

"I need 'm," He blinked slowly, "I can't... can't go into heat."

"Well you... are so," Harrington blinked those pretty Bambi eyes up at him.

Billy sucked in a breath of Steve Harrington's signature air, trying to ignore the way the scent was filling his mind with contradictory statements. Things like that he needed to make a nest, and he needed to beg Harrington to stay, and he needed condoms because if he had a pup his dad would kill him, and also Harrington wouldn't want his pups, but also Billy neededneededneeded Harrington to fill him with pups he needed it.

His head was spinning.

"I can't... I can't Harrington," Billy clung, not even caring that he was saying he couldn't while his body was definitely telling him he could, needed to, needed so badly.

"Look, it will be okay," Harrington blinked, slicking his hair back from his forehead, "I'll help. It'll be over in just a few hours, okay."

Billy whimpered. He should protest but his body was making it hard to remember why through the fog of Steve and the almost painful, cramping need that rushed through him.

“Come on,” Steve started to tug a little, “let’s get you dry.”

Dry wasn’t really a possibility any more, Billy could feel the slick dripping between his legs. He exhaled, leaning into Steve’s hold, while still feeling like he might crush him.

“Y-you’re stronger than you look,” He whispered, not sure if he meant it as a come on or not.

“And you’re burning up,” Steve pressed a cool hand to Billy’s forehead and Billy nearly whimpered again, biting his lip hard to keep it in. Steve probably just meant to hold Billy through the heat, soothe it a little. Billy should keep his feelings about that to himself.

But that’s not what happens. Steve towels Billy off carefully once he sits him on a bench, leaning down and brushing Billy’s forehead with one wet lock of his hair.

Steve slung the towel over Billy’s shoulders, “It’s a good thing you can sit, I’m not sure I would be able to reach otherwise.”

“You... yeah... short stuff,” Billy had a come back in him somewhere. Only it was taking everything in him not to squirm against the hard bench. He could feel himself get impossibly slicker, but he couldn’t let it show. Harrington knew what a heat was, no need to rub it in.

“I gotta lock the door,” Steve rubbed the towel across Billy’s neck, “Okay?”

“Yea, okay, ‘s fine,” Billy locked all his muscles, trying not to lean into Harrington’s touch, “You can go too. As long as no one can get in, I’ll be s-safe.”

Brown eyes just lingered, “I may... I feel like I’m close to a rut. I shouldn’t be out there with...”

Everyone. Yeah. There was a reason why that was a bad idea, but all Billy could think was alpha’s going to stay alpha needs like me needsneedsneeds me.

Billy couldn’t hide the little whimper that trickled out of his throat.

“Is it okay? If it’s me?” Harrington asked.

Billy just blinked at him, trying to comprehend his good fortune.

“It’s okay right?” Steve reached out and touched Billy’s jaw with the tip of his index finger, “Billy?”

He didn’t mean to. But Steve was just there, and so sweet and so... hot. Billy tugged him closer and wrapped his arms around Steve almost roughly, pulling him into a a sloppy kiss that had Billy groaning. His head was filled with steam and Steve and slippery sensations of sliding towards something else. Something wonderful.

Steve pulled back, his eyes still closed, and Billy took the moment to just look at him. Even if it was just once, he had kissed-

Steve straddled Billy, hands going everywhere, teeth biting into Billy’s lower lip. He nearly growled, setting his hands everywhere he could reach.

Someone pounded on the door, and they ignored them, grabbing hard wherever they could. Billy finally, finally, got his hands on Steve’s high ass and groaned, feeling himself towed under by another wave of lust.

The pounding, and not the kind of pounding Billy was looking for, only got louder.

Finally, when Billy couldn’t take it any more, He lifted Steve by his beautiful ass and walked over to the door.

“Fuck. Off,” Billy snarled.

“Hargrove? Is Harrington in there-” It was coach’s voice and that almost snapped Billy out of his haze.

“I said, fuck off,” Billy hissed, “Alpha shit, coach. Door’s locked for a reason.”

Billy could hear shoes shuffling on the other side of the door and maybe coach was saying something... But Harrington was running one of his pretty long fingers along the side of Billy’s face.

“Aww, look at my big bad wolf,” Steve leaned in and nipped at Billy’s earlobe, catching Billy’s smaller gold earring between his teeth, “What big ears you have.”

“Shut up,” Billy could feel his ears turning red instantly. He rolled his shoulder, trying to brush Harrington off without dropping him.

Harrington kissed the tips of his ears, “And what soft hair you have.”

He ran his fingers through the nape of Billy’s neck and Billy whimpered, pressing them against the door.

“What warm skin you have Billy,” Steve nuzzled their cheeks together, grinding against Billy with the new leverage they had.

“The better to burn you,” Billy snorted.

“The better to burn you, alpha,” Steve corrected. He ground against Billy, their cocks leaking a little against Billy’s stomach, pumping the air with Steve’s scent.

Billy could only whimper in response, and it echoed off the locker doors.

“What strong arms you have, Billy,” Steve bounced just a little, setting every point of contact on fire.

“The better to hold you with, alpha,” Billy meant the last word to come out sarcastically, but of course it didn’t not while he neededneededneeded to hold Steve close. Needed to be his, his, always his.

“And what a nice, big,” Steve leaned in and kissed his mouth, once, than again, and again, “Heart.”

“T-the better to uh...” Billy’s thoughts scattered. Maybe it was an innuendo. Maybe he meant Billy’s cock. Maybe.

“Go on,” Harrington prompted, “The better to love you with, alpha.”

Maybe this was some sort of heat thing he didn’t know about. Billy’d never been with anyone through his heat he always just sort of gone through it alone, in a haze with his room locked tight from the other side. Maybe this was what always happened, people pretended to be in love or something.

“I noticed you watching, Billy,” Harrington kissed his cheek, “Don’t over think it. I’ll take care of you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Billy said shakily, though there was a relief in the way the order was phrased. Soft, with a question. Billy liked soft with a question.

Harrington smiled then, his eyes going darker as he watched Billy’s face.

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, alpha,” Billy murmurered.

---

@hickory-smoked-ass they wanted to be all lovey dovey I couldn’t help it.

[evilyuris]

family got me sick and now I'm exhausted from not sleeping all night cause my sinuses ache and my throat is killing me

[belong2human-kind]

I got a fever, whole body aching and my sinus are going to kill me, it feels unrealistically weird how much pressure I'm feeling from my face now, barely can stand up 🥲 I always had sinus problems (chronic sinusitis) but I didn't remember how worse it gets when you get really sick, God help me survive 😬

[ebitchwriting]

Dragged Into The Blood

Summary: Never staying in one place for long, nearly every year, Lea Anderson was used to impermanence, chaos, and having to leave everything behind at the drop of a hat. Lea never expected that she would be kidnapped and wake up in a rusted, decrepit prison cell because of a madman's delusional belief in eugenics and cleansing the Earth of imperfection. By herself, with only the clothing on her back, she will have to rely on luck and logic to escape before she's killed or worse.

Warnings: Waking from dying, graphic description of killing, gore, blood, self-destructive and self-loathing thoughts, guns.

I welcome constructive criticism as that is the only way I, as a writer, can improve. Please follow my writing blog as well as my story on A03, and if you want to see what the original story was, check it out on Fanfiction.net(link in rules, also goes by the same name). Do not leave hateful comments or suicide bait, and if that is an action you seriously think is appropriate to take, step away from the screen and take a good long while(preferably with therapy) to process why you think it's in any way an appropriate action to take.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.

Chapter Two: The Escape

The first breath Lea took after waking was stale, harsh, and painfully filled her lungs to the brim, desperately breathing in as fast as possible and promptly sent herself into an equally as intense and stale coughing fit. Every breath she took burned. It burned her sinuses and her esophagus. Yet, simultaneously, it brought the sweetest relief, soothing the aches in her body. Slowly but surely, Lea felt her strength build back up. Soon enough, Lea could feel her lungs relax, and her breathing returned to its regular, steady rhythm. Lea heaved out a sigh, feeling boneless and cold. Her headache pounded away at her temples, making Lea hiss and hold her head as she slowly but steadily pushed herself up from the ground and onto her feet.

"What the fuck just happened..." Lea groaned out to herself, immediately wincing at the noise. "It doesn't make sense. Did I die? Was I being overdramatic? No... I felt that... that can't be imagined..." Lea continued to talk to herself as she walked towards the prison door, her volume now more of a whisper that barely echoed in the room. Her heart still raced with adrenaline at the memory of her death, and she could feel her mind lagging and stuttering at processing what had just happened. "Fuck!" She growled out, punching the wall, then freezing as she felt the barrier give in to her fist, bending and creaking with an unbearably high-pitched and loud screech. Her eyes widened at the noise as she whipped her head towards her fist, which was unmistakably inside the wall. When she removed her first, she noticed that the deep dent left a perfect imprint, leaving her befuddled and staring at the wall for several minutes, trying to process what happened.

Looking back at the door, she tilted her head, lost in the chaos of her thoughts, before shrugging and taking a step back, shifting her feet back into her fighting stance and sending a front kick next to the lock. Further to her surprise, especially with her shaky and weak state, the prison door not only opened but flew back against the wall of the other room. The cacophony of the metal slamming against metal echoed throughout the halls, sending a fresh dose of adrenaline to Lea's heart.

"Shit!" Lea shouted out, just a little too loudly, sending another dose of adrenaline. Lea dove under the box spring in a panic, holding her breath, anticipating the mysterious stranger coming back and injecting something else. She waited for as long as she could hold her breath, an impressive six minutes, before slowly crawling out from underneath. "I'm alone? Why am I alone? That's so fucking stupid. If they're experimenting on me, you'd think they'd keep me under constant supervision. Dumbasses..." Lea grumbled to herself, peeking outside the door to ensure she was truly alone. Surprisingly, she was not located in an abandoned prison as she initially hypothesized. In fact, she was being held in a haphazard and abandoned laboratory.

Carefully stepping out, the teenager ensured each step she took was silent or as silent as possible to avoid attracting anyone. Lea slowly but surely made her way to the crumpled, poor excuse of a prison door on the opposite side of the room. There was a perfect imprint of her foot's impact against the door, right next to the keyhole. The door was undeniably nothing more than scrap metal at this point. Looking back to where Lea was being held captive, next to the opening was a giant, bulbous metal fist protruding outwards.

'... It can't be a dream, then... but there's no way I will find information in this mess...'

Lea craned over to the far left behind her and slowly scanned the laboratory until she reached her right. Ahead of her were more locked prison doors, all eerily silent except for the faint and distant moan of deliriousness coming from the farthest door. Closer to her right were strewn papers, broken vials, syringes, and broken-down carts. There was a possible exit coming from her right. Just as she was about to go down that path, she noticed under the carts behind her was an assault rifle, specifically an AK-74. Lea grabbed it, ejecting the magazine to see that the gun had conveniently been barely used.

"Alright, if this is some sort of goddamn test, you're not being very discreet." Lea snarked to herself, but just a little bit too loudly as the pained moaning out from a distance morphed into a strangled, inhuman noise and started sprinting towards her. A pit fell in her stomach as a man with decaying grey teeth, filmy and empty red eyes, and an ax in his left hand darted out of the farthest prison towards her. "What the fucking hell is this shit?" Lea questioned, her tone trembling with fear and confusion. She quickly inspected the safety pin to see if it was off, lifted the gun, and aimed the gun at him. Her gut twisted painfully with dread.

"Stop, I'm not with them!" Lea shouted in desperation, hoping he was just startled. The man leaned as far back as he could and threw the ax at Lea to no avail. Lea quickly jumped to her left, dodging the axe. The man promptly collided with her, slamming her against the wall, jaws snapping at her as if he were trying to bite her throat out. Without thinking, she swung her arms up, grabbed his head, and smashed his head against it. The man limply slumped down to the floor, silent save for the blood dripping out of his mouth to the floor. Just as quickly as she did it, she clapped her hands against her mouth, eyes wide, and her gut was twisting and turning at the guilt eating away.

'... Fuck, I just killed someone without even trying to subdue him... What if he just needed help, or were just scared?... Dad trained you better than this... How could you do this?... Pathetic, cruel, evil... You just killed him because it was easier, you bitch...'

Lea's thoughts continued to attack her, making her choke out a sob as she fell to her knees, clutching at her chest, tears falling freely from her eyes.

"Stop, stop, stop, stop..." Lea muttered to herself through each poorly suppressed sob. "I can't stay here... I have to get out. That's the only thing I should focus on right now." She tried to reason with herself, wiping away the tears that refused to stop. Finally, breathing heavily, she forces herself to stand back up. She grabs the gun she dropped earlier, wiping away her tears again, and starts towards the exit again. Thoughts of the mysterious stranger popped into her mind again, and all the grief and guilt that plagues her mind nearly instantaneously transformed into an unbridled rage, making her arms shake and her heart sizzle.

"Alright, you Neo-wanna-be," Lea snarled, "let the games begin." She steps through the door, determined to escape and reclaim her freedom.

[amensalist]

piece i wrote a week or two ago about how i feel now that i'm out of a very unhealthy relationship.

I broke my teeth biting through the padlock to the cage you kept me in. Pyogenic sores throb and weep along the slender pallor of my throat from the prongs around my throat. I ran until my lungs burned and my vision tunneled and frothy saliva tasting of exertion and acidic blood pooled at the corners of my mouth. I ran until my legs gave out beneath me and the hot asphalt rips a layer of flesh off my cheek. 

Scars I could live with - scars I could look at and remind myself that you were gone. No fresh wounds, the sickly greenish-purple sores slowly fading to a sallow and gradient tone. I stand on shaky legs and look up at the sky. The sun burns my eyes and I almost laugh. The blinding light and the vibrant blue of the sky are enough to stun me into silence - a contrast, from the harsh and dim grays and browns of your basement. 

I lick my wounds and I lie in the grass and even inconveniences around me feel like a blessing because they remind me that I am alive. I have life to live and freedom to experience. The sun on my face, the ache in my ribcage from laughing, the sour sting of tears in my eyes and the clog of my sinuses. I can live. I am alive.

Your silhouette poisons my dreams and my consciousness. Around the corner I feel eyes on my body and when I turn to look I see nothing but I can smell the mildew of your basement and the dirty iron of chains. I absently press my bitten fingertips to one of the sores on my throat. Coarse scar tissue tickles my fingertip and tender pain radiates from the puckered sore. I’m not out of the woods yet.

From bait to equal; from punching bag to beloved. I learn to see myself as someone instead of something. I forget your leering gaze, I forget the feeling of shackles chafing my limbs with you buried up to your elbows in my cracked-open skull. I forget the feeling of raw, painful, deep pressure with your dirtied nails picking away the webbing of my cortex. I forget the taste of blood and cerebrospinal fluid dripping down my face. I forget what it's like to be kept stupid and lobotomized for another. The fog lifts.

Yet I see my face plastered on posters. Grainy and miserable and barely recognizable. I’ve grown to look at him like a cadaver that I carry on my back; this body is a hearse and I carry he who you killed with me in hopes that one day the decomposition will reverse. My fingertips graze over the poster and I rip it with force. The nail catches my palm and blood gushes from the jagged tear.

I stare at the poster. I look at my split hand. I spit on the wound and shove the bloodied poster into my pocket, praying for it to go septic before I have to face you again.

Your voice rings around me but never to me. I hear my name in hushed whispers, spoken like a dirty word and a pejorative, spoken about like a beaten animal that none could hope to rehabilitate. 

(I curl in her lap and I am terrified but I will myself to stop trembling. I try to focus on the feeling of fingers on my disheveled mane of hair. I try to focus on the subtle sound of her heartbeat. It’s not working. I steal a glance. Her eyes lock on mine and a familiar smile reminds me to keep my arteries intact.)

(A friend’s hand touches my shoulder blade and the look of guilt and pity in his eyes when I shrink away reminds me that scars can fade but at the end of the day scar tissue is still scar tissue. I force a smile that looks more like a beaten animal showing submission.)

(I wake up expecting to feel cold cement under my body. I wake up and my body shakes and I taste bile. No one is safe when they sleep. No one is in control when they sleep.)

The man in the mirror is not me. I pull the crumpled poster from my pocket. I stare at the forlorn face in the picture. It’s me, isn’t it? It’s [Valentine], right? I look back at the mirror. Eyes sunken in and flesh pallid and all manner of marks along my body. The raw pinkish-silver puckers around my throat are a permanent reminder of you. Is this me? Is this [Valentine]? Unsatisfied, I turn my back to the mirror and half expect the husk I saw to continue staring at me. A glance over my shoulder proves me wrong. Perhaps I’m just tired.

I don’t think I’m a bad person. I don’t think I’m a good person, but I don’t think I’m unsafe. I don’t think I belong in your cage. Where do I belong? Could I handle that answer? 

(Her collar for me is lined. The inside is soft and smooth and at first I feel her hands around my shoulders tightening the buckle and I can’t breathe because all I smell is iron and mold and my own sour bile, but I inhale again and it fades with the scent of her cologne. I’m safe. The spines are on the outside this time. I shift in my seat and the cheerful jingle of a bell rings from around my throat. Here, I am loved. Here, I am wanted. I’d break all my teeth again fighting to stay here.)

I curl in a disheveled pile of blankets and fabric in the corner of my dim living space. My eyes are dry and sting and every blink makes them weep but to rest is to give control. Posters everywhere of my face, of my name, a dangerous thing to be disposed of, full of maggots on the inside, wearing the pulled-taut skin of a living thing while rot festers beneath, but I haven’t coughed ichor since I clawed myself from your homemade prison and I start to wonder who to trust. 

I don’t believe I belong in your cage. I’ve learned how to walk. I shattered my own bones to force them to grow back into place. I’ve burned the infection from my own wounds and cut away my own dead skin. The collar around my neck doesn’t draw blood. I look in the mirror again at the scars around my throat. 

I’ve grown to realize what you want wrapped around my throat; your prong collar or a hangman’s noose.

[spoopy-but-safe]

You wake up feeling off.

You're dizzy.

Your throat is raw.

Your head is pounding.

You struggle to make yourself sit up in bed, having to slowly haul your body up step by step. Raise your head, push yourself up onto your elbow, push yourself up with your arms...

And then, you freeze at the sensation of weight shifting in your stomach.

"What..?" You mutter under your breath. You've never felt anything like it in your life.

You wait a moment for something else to happen. One beat, two beats, three. Nothing.

But, just as you decide you imagined it...

"You sure slept in." A voice says.

Your instinct to look around the room to find who's speaking is overridden by the fact that you can tell the voice is coming from inside you.

You want to say something, anything, but you can't. Your mouth hangs open, but your tongue refuses to move. What the hell WOULD you say if you could speak, anyhow?

"Hello?" The voice says steadily, "What's the matter? Not gonna say anything?"

You only manage a pitiful squeak and look down at yourself in sheer dread. You realize your middle is slightly distended, as if you're bloated.

"Use your words!" The voice demands.

You take the deepest breath you can and stammer, "Who the hell are you?"

Your voice comes out gruff and hoarse.

"You can call me Tobias. Not Toby, Tobias." The voice says sternly.

"Okay... Tobias... Are you..?" You can't even finish.

They give a strange snort-growl that startles you a bit. "Yeah, I'm in your stomach."

You had already put this together, but hearing them say it still makes your entire body shudder. "How did you get in there?"

"Same way everything does, through your mouth." They say.

"Why?" You ask, feeling absolutely crazy.

They make the growling sound again, slower now. "I... Made a bad decision, I guess." Tobias says, "Did you know your window was unlocked?"

"...No." You say.

Tobias clears their throat. "I already knew I was doing something I'd regret the second I got my claws underneath it. Don't worry, I locked it after me."

You frankly don't know what the hell they're talking about. "Could you explain what the hell is going on before I really start freaking out?"

"Something you couldn't possibly understand. I guess I need to apologize, anyway. I'm sorry." Tobias says.

You're getting a little mad now. "You aren't even gonna try to explain?"

They groan and shift around within you. "I almost did this without saying a word. I could have just sat in here and sapped your energy and lived my life... But the way you're moving, the sounds you're making... You're really in pain, aren't you? I hurt you."

Your hand goes to your neck. "Yeah. You must have."

Tobias growls again, louder, causing their body to palpably shake. The growl gives way to a sniffle, and they let out a pitiful sob. "Fuck, why did I do this? How could I?"

You've come back around to being at a loss for words. You can only sit and listen to them cry.

They quiet back down. "Give me a minute. Let me catch my breath, and then I'll help you get me out of here the easy way."

You sigh and try not to overthink the potential ways you might do that. "Alright."

You wait as they gather themselves.

"Okay... Put one hand on your middle, right over where you can feel my paw. Hold your other hand palm up in front of you. I'm gonna count down from three. When I get to one, snap the fingers of the hand you're holding out." Tobias explains.

You feel their paw pressing forward, and awkwardly assume the position. "Ready."

Tobias counts down, and as you were asked, you snap your fingers.

In a small puff of smoke, the weight disappears from your belly and instead moves to your hand.

A rabbit-like creature stares back at you, draped across your palm and weighing your arm down. They're bigger and heavier than you would've thought. They hop across your lap and down into the floor. You stare at each other for a moment.

"I'm sorry, again." They say, averting their large eyes.

"I honestly don't know whether to be upset or tell you it's okay. I'm kinda wondering if I'm still asleep and this is a really weird dream." You say.

Tobias shakes their head. "You're definitely wide awake. I... I should go now. I've taken enough of your time and energy."

"No, wait... Do you need help, or something?" You ask, "I can't imagine you'd do what you did for the hell of it."

Tears well up in their eyes. "Don't tell me you're gonna try and help me after what I did to you."

You stand shakily from the bed. "I will if you explain all of this to me so I actually understand it."

Tobias sniffles, covers their mouth, and nods.

"Come with me into the kitchen. I need some tea for whatever you did to my throat." You say, walking out of your bedroom on slightly unstable legs.

"Okay..." Tobias says, hopping along after you.

...

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

Round 2 of a netipot and my sinuses are clear enough for my appetite to return. I can also hear more clearly.

Currently enjoying a second helping of chicken noodle soup and a third bottle of Gatorade. Recovering from diarrhea-induced dehydration. The diarrhea doesn't kill, it's the loss of water and nutrients that do. Bananas have made a huge improvement on this. Plus, super salty soup gravy with onions, peas, and carrots makes a big punch.

Husband's sense of taste is now affected. He's been dealing with exhaustion and body aches and pains, and now his taste is going odd. Everything tastes off. Mine has been sinuses and bowels with a recurring fever. I've had to remind him this isn't the flu, that pushing himself will lead to permanent damage. Covid infects every system, from respiratory to neurological. Lots of napping us encouraged.

In the last 24 hours, we've slept at least 12.

The pneumonia breathing exercises have made a big difference for both if us. It helps prevent it entirely. Not a guarantee, but it helps.

The cats are doing well. Cacoa and Jasper have been playful. Especially Cacoa! She's doing lots of exploring in the garage, munching on spiders and spider webs. Jasper is less lethargic, but his appetite isn't as strong. Both are sneezing, but no gunk in eyes or nose.

Covid is no joke. Few people are wearing masks or social distancing. There's a neighborhood block party announced for my area, and I'm afraid of what will happen. How many will get sick? How many will die because of it? Husband and I have no idea who infected us. We know he likely brought it home seeing as I rarely leave. It takes 2 to 14 days for symptoms to show up, so really no idea. He's gonna be double masking after recovery in order to prevent this from happening again.

Please, your momentary comfort without a mask isn't worth the risk of infection. This is a deadly disease. The ableds who are all "I can't live another minute cooped up in my home" and "staying home is no way to live" are completely forgetting about those of us who are now forced to remain home. I never again want to hear anyone tell me it must be nice to be home all the time. Never again.

[whatifxwereyou]

Lightning Part 14: Lines in the Sand

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021

Pairing: Kung Lao x Reader

Summary: You're sick and Liu Kang is there to take care of you. But just in case, you have to be honest with him.

A/N: Oh no, I'm sad now. I promise there will be some comic relief soon-ish. I'm going out of town this week for a wedding but you won't even notice I'm gone.

Start From the Beginning << Previous Chapter Next Chapter Chapter Index

The world was blurry and spinning. Cold water dripped across your burning forehead, down your temples, and into your hair that was already slick with sweat. A cloth was pressed to your forehead and the miniscule weight of it gave you a terrible headache. Your sinuses were throbbing.

“Shh, it’s okay.” You’d heard these exact words before. The déjà vu was strong. Liu Kang comforted you once again while you were ill with a wet cloth gently pressed against your forehead. It was an attempt to calm a fever that was leaving you freezing, sweating, and aching. “Take it easy, Y/N.” His voice was weary and strained.

“Liu?” You shifted onto your side but Liu urged you to lie back. You were grateful that he took charge when you were too foolish to listen.

“Try not to strain yourself.”

“When did you get here?”

“About an hour ago.” He picked up your hand as you reached for him. Your fingertips and forearms were still stained and dripping with ink. Your heart sunk. Liu Kang’s hands had been stained black from taking care of you and his sleeves were rolled up but had been ruined by the same ink. He seemed sad. Those dark eyes had been so filled with sadness in the past week it was killing you. It was like he knew already. You’d struggled hiding anything from him. You knew each other too well and had become too connected. “When did this start?”

“I went to the infirmary this morning. Not sure what time, I don’t have a clock.” You mused. Liu managed a smile. You had no idea how long you’d been sleeping. “My shoulder had been aching so I figured Chen could take a look then… this. I came back to rest afterwards. It made more sense to be alone if I exploded with ink and I was pretty dizzy.” There was no point in hiding the truth from him. He’d find out one way or another.

“I imagine this is not a good sign.”

“What are you doing here?” You managed to lean on your elbows but the dizziness was overwhelming. But you refused to let it keep you from trying to function. You had to find a way. “You’re usually so busy.”

“Your friend came to get me. Said it was important. She was right to.” He moved from the chair he’d been seated in onto the edge of the bed. “Can you scoot over?”

“I’m dizzy.” You whined. Then you laughed as he lifted you and moved you closer to the window to make room for him next to you. Boy, you were grateful to your past self for changing the sheets before resting. “Don’t look so sad, Liu.”

“It’s hard not to.”

“I’m going to be just fine.”

“Chen thinks you’re dying. I agree with her.”

“Oh… I…”

He’d just out and said it. Okay. What were you supposed to say to that? Maybe they were right to assume but you weren’t giving up. This wasn’t fair. Chen was right. There was so much you had now that you’d never had before. It was cruel to be losing it.

“I don’t know what to do.” Liu rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t like not knowing what to do.”

“I know you don’t.” You smiled sympathetically. “Kung Lao had an idea. I’ve been thinking about it because… at first I thought it was silly but maybe it was foolish to dismiss it.” You’d given it brief consideration between feverish discomfort and your morning walk to the infirmary. “It’s kind of brilliant the more I think about it.”

“Don’t tell Kung Lao. We’ll never stop hearing about it.” He teased but his voice was flat like his heart wasn’t in it. Liu Kang wore his heart on his sleeve, it turned out. “What’s his idea? I’m open to anything. We’ve been grasping at straws.”

“What if we could suppress my gift? Maybe there’s something Raiden could do? Snap me out of it? Like when I was a kid. I was really, really sick. Then I lost Kung Lao and…” Your eyes watered and you were annoyed. Really? Emotional over something that was done and over with ages ago? You’d long since mourned his death and now you had him back. Your body was betraying you at every turn.

“It’s okay.” Liu comforted you. “Be kind to yourself. You have a terrible fever.”

“I know. It’s just frustrating to feel like I can’t control even that.” You cleared your throat and wiped your eyes though the soreness in your arms was miserable. Liu Kang offered you a sip of water. He was an excellent caregiver. Nothing he did made you feel useless or like a burden. “Anyway, it got much worse after he… he died. And I… I stopped fighting it. I came to terms with death and losing the only person besides my grandmother who didn’t think I was some kind of monster.” It felt weird talking about your past. You were so far removed from the person you’d been back then and yet it struck a deep emotional chord.

“Y/N…”

“I know, I’m a baby. Just let me finish my story. I don’t know why I can’t control my emotions. Like you said, it’s the fever. It’s making me over-emotional.”

“I know. My instinct is to comfort you.” His smile was so kind. Dammit, he was the sweetest.

“I snapped out of it with time. It was my grandma who helped me. She convinced me that my friend wouldn’t want to see me lying there dying and not getting out of bed. She didn’t want me to become all the things my parents said I’d be. That ‘never’ I told you I hated, that was where I realized that only I could break out of it. So, I fought and a few months later it went away very suddenly. I got better. I don’t know what I did or how it happened but I was… suddenly normal.” You laughed because it had been such a mystery back then. For a few years you’d wondered how it could have happened but after a while you’d decided you didn’t care how. You were just grateful to be alive. “I got better. People in town still thought I was a witch or a demon but I was healthy. For years I was healthy. At least until all of this.” Your lips tingled with annoying numbness.

“And you think that Raiden could find a way to help you suppress it like you did back then?”

“It was Kung Lao’s idea. I hadn’t even considered it. The more I think about it the more I wonder if it’s possible. Raiden is the only one who can snap me out of those moments.”

“Yeah, by stopping your heart.” Liu Kang seemed skeptical but you could see the gears turning behind his dark eyes.

“It can’t hurt to ask, right?”

“You’re right. We should ask. It’s… not a solution though, Y/N.” It worried you when he spoke so softly and so seriously. He picked up your hand and held it close to him and you didn’t fight him. It was a different sort of intimacy than what you’d shared before. At some point you’d put up a wall between you and Liu Kang and built distance. That attraction was still there. You were sure it always would be. But it was different now.

“I know. It’s why I thought it was silly at first when he suggested it but… if I die before we find a real solution then what will it matter? This buys us time.”

“Time is the most difficult part of this.”

“I know. I’m dying. I get it. I’ve been resistant to admitting it because it scares the hell out of me but it’s pretty clear.” You laughed in disbelief.

“Don’t talk like that.”

“You were talking like that just a second ago.” You accused but he didn’t look any happier to hear it. “Let’s not be foolish, Liu. We both know what’s happening. We have to do something. No more waiting. No more researching. We have to at least try this. Stop whatever this is from consuming me or whatever it’s trying to do. I’m not ready to die. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I belong. I refuse to let it end like this.”

“So, we cut off the connection to whoever cursed you by repressing your ability to have visions. And you think that’ll work?”

“I have no clue but I’m willing to at least try. We do that and then we keep researching. We find a way to sever the connection permanently and then maybe understand why. Why me? I’m just… a woman from a small town in China. I’m not special.”

“Y/N… You’re…”

“Don’t patronize me, Liu. I was completely average outside of this vision thing. I would have grown up just like everyone else without this curse and I’d like to know why.”

“Not everything has a reason. Sometimes even if there is a reason, we don’t get to know it.”

“I know that. But it doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to understand.”

Liu considered this and adjusted quietly next to you. You gave him peace for a time but you were beginning to drift off to sleep again. The fever was far too high and your body was exhausted. Pulling the blankets higher over you, you winced. Even the soft brush of cloth made it feel like your skin was crawling.

“What are you thinking?” You whispered. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of you.

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then we keep trying to find other ways.”

“I’ve been trying. I spend every waking moment trying.” Liu sounded desperate. It was suddenly apparent just how heavily the stress of it weighed on him. He’d been absent more than Kung Lao but it had been all for your sake. You couldn’t have been more grateful to him.

“We don’t give up.”

His warm hand sent shivers down your spine as he rested it on the side of your neck. Your stomach was in your throat again as he rested his forehead against yours. He was too close. That tension was too thick. It was difficult to breathe. You had to pull back and make lines in the sand. If you were dying then you wanted to leave nothing left to chance. It broke your heart to think that you would be giving Liu Kang one more thing to be sad and stressed about. He already seemed both of those things.

“We should talk.” He’d felt you resist, felt that wall, and somehow it seemed like he already knew. It was like you’d already hurt him. “I don’t want to leave anything unknown. Just in case.”

“Sometimes I swear you can read my mind.”

“I’ve never been so connected to anyone before.” He averted his eyes and bowed his head. There was a brief flicker of pain in his eyes and then distance. “But that connection is not your responsibility. You are not responsible for how I feel.” Ugh, he was so mature. He knew. You should just say it. Rip off the bandage.

“I hate this.”

“I do too.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, Liu Kang but… I think I’ve… fallen in love with Kung Lao.” You hadn’t even said that to Kung Lao so saying it to Liu Kang made you have an extremely unfortunate physical reaction. Your face grew hot and you gagged. That word had such implications. You’d never believed in love. It was the kind of crap that Disney spoon fed little girls to get their hopes up. Like happiness revolved around men or something. But you had been wrong. Love was real it was just different than anything could have prepared you for. You loved Kung Lao. And there it was out in the open for Liu Kang who looked briefly devastated before forcing his expression to harden. He had braced himself for rejection but hadn’t been able to hide how deeply it hurt him. It had never been about winning or losing. You knew that.

At first, Liu said nothing and turned away. He sat up and held his head in his hands. You let him have his time to think it over. If he needed to be upset and leave then he deserved to have that. You wouldn’t ask him to stay even if you weren’t sure that you should be alone with as sick as you were.

Minutes passed before he laid down next to you again. He stared at the ceiling but gave a nod. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Kung Lao is a good man. Chosen by destiny to do great things. I know that he’s special to you. You’re special to me too but… if he will bring you happiness, Y/N, then I want you to be with him. That’s all I want. Your happiness.”

“Liu…” Your eyes were burning with the threat of tears.

“Don’t… don’t be upset for me. I don’t want that.”

“How am I supposed to not be upset?”

“I’ll be okay. We have more important things to worry about than my feelings. Okay?” He put aside the hurt you saw weighing on him. He did that for you. To help you. To make you feel better. Liu Kang put himself beneath everyone and he deserved so much more than that. But he was right. You had to do what your heart wanted and you were in love with Kung Lao. Hopelessly and foolishly so. “Time heals everything, right?”

“Yeah.” You weren’t sure what to say. “I’m sorry.”

“Please. I don’t want you to be sorry for how you feel.”

“I can’t help it. Do you… do you need to leave? I don’t want to make this harder than it is… I…”

“No, no. Y/N… even with all of this there is nowhere else I would rather be.” His smile was sympathetic even if you could see the pain hidden behind it. Why did it feel like your heart was breaking? You wouldn’t say anything else about it. Let him grieve in his own way though part of you thought it was absurd that you were that important. It was clear that you had been. With a deep breath you resolved not to argue with him. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“You’re right.” You knew that. You were too sick. If something happened and you were alone it could have been the end.

“When you’ve fallen asleep, I will speak with Raiden. I’ll have someone keep guard while I’m gone. The sooner we discover if Kung Lao’s idea is a possibility the better.”

“I agree.” You offered a hopeful smile and he returned it. Then you laid on your back and closed your eyes. A weight had been lifted from your shoulders after having made that choice but it was replaced with the fear of death and the guilt of hurting Liu Kang.

It had been one hell of a day.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

He makes me livid! I get so mad!!! I don't understand him at all. He makes me go UGH but in bad ways.

I went off on him first before I realised what his problem was... Like total accusations and misfit drama. All paranoid loca. I don't give a shit.

I draw conclusions and those were the most obvious.

But when you know someone... You have to remember their stupidity. One time he confessed... And I already had decided to break up with him... I was all I'm waiting till his dad dies then I'm done. He's a good friend when he tries but he doesn't make me,a priority. And so I hadn't told him. I just tired of him,upsetting me so I had to remove me.

So he said he wouldn't do anything for his pain,then, he would take 2x his Percocet with 5 shots of tequila then treat me like shit.

I really hadnt noticed. I was all "oh he's just in his mood where he's decided I'm not important to him"

And true enough when he told me his dad died I walked away from our relationship.

But honestly ... Years later... I missed him.. Because he treated me best. Because I say I walked

I mean I left, completely.

But despite his faults he's always treated me best. I mean person to person. He didn't give me what I wanted from,the relationship. But as a low key friend, he understood me the most

He understood i was scared to go to sleep and he would stay on the phone and help,me,sleep so I could. No one else can do that. My daughter, if she was sleeping with me. I could listen to her breathe and I could fall asleep that way. Because it would calm my r breathing if she was sleeping that calm sleep,breath

But he knew all what to say. And I never had to tell him or even tell him I was afraid to sleep or even admit it to myself.

I hope this helps some of y'all that are anti medicine as well.

I don't like hospitals or doctors (I like my personal doctors But aside from them) in general. I'm afraid of them. They make me hostile. I feel like theyre some dangerous S&M dungeon

Go and wait for hours to get bad news then they don't give you what you need because you're so fucking exhausted they don't understand. Or don't care or are the ones that like to kill patients.

So I like my doctors although I have to wait for hours to see them past my appointment time, they take extra time to see me and cover what I think I need. Their quality is worth the wait. I have 3. Primary, Pain and Urgent Care. And I use the computer urgent care where I leave an online message after finishing a long ass quizz through the insurance website.

And whatever pills they give me, I Google to make sure they were right. They always are. Im also interested in what else the pills cover. Like i take 2 different anti seizure pills for pain and one also for insulin sensitivity increase and metabolic increase. And i take an antidepressant that also covers fibromyalgia.

I have 13 prescriptions. Monthly. Some I have to take more than once per day. Plus i take vitamins.

Then I Google the pharmacy pills to make sure the pharmacy was right.

So.

I get it. Sometimes I don't want to take 13 prescriptions more than once per day or even at all.

But we need to know what we are taking and why.

And why it is important.

And we need to take our medicine. So we can survive

I think this information is especially important during this epidemic.

Now realize that antibiotics are not useful on viruses unless the virus causes a bacterial infection. Like.

A cold is a virus but in some people like myself and used to in my daughter, causes a severe sinus infection which requires antibiotics.

I know the point at which we need antibiotics and so i go to my urgent care lady because she understands and we just do a walk in. And i don't overwhelm my doctor who is taking time to give quality care and has long waiting patients.

But otherwise a virus does not respond to antibiotics. And anti-virus medications are quite rare.

Flu shot... But not a cold shot..

So we take over the counter medicine for our symptoms. Like coughing and runny nose

Sinus pressure in the eyes, nose, teeth. Jaw.

If you have a tooth ache you can take sinus medicine. Because the worst tooth pain is actually in your sinus cavity! That's a secret trick. Works every time.

So basically anytime you have facial pain that doesn't respond to Tylenol or ibuprofen or alieve, you can take sinus medicine. Also ear pain.

Google sinus cavities in the face and you'll see why.

Now an ear and sinus infection is a bacteria, usually but usually our bodies can fight it Well without an anti biotic. As long as it is treated with over the counter medicine. But sometimes, like with myself and my daughter, sometimes an antibiotic is needed..but that is after at least a week to 10 days of serious green overflow that doesn't respond to over the counter medicine.

Sometimes the bacteria is lab revealed by terrorists during the "flu and cold season" to create an income for pharmaceutical companies. For my daughter and i, they're usually too strong for our immune system.

Although since my ex husband left town, my daughter's immune system has significantly became stronger. While mine has not. So she needs less antibiotics, than I do.

Otherwise, my body can fight it on its own with a few doses of otc.

I had a tooth pulled a few years ago.. It created a pathway to my sinuses. I could rinse water in my mouth and it would come out my nose. I saw an ear, nose and throat specialist whom said i needed surgery immediately to repair my nose.

I said no thank you mother fucker

I had to have clearance from my cardiologist. So i took a stress test and failed. So i had to have an ultra sound. It wasn't good. But they said I could have the surgery since it was simple.

I said that's cool, but I don't want to.

I haven't done it. So I get sinus infection and pain quite often. My bone structure in my nose is center in my right nostril. Meaning it's really fucking bad

From being punched in the face a lot. The surgery sounds fucking horrible. And it's a cosmetic change.

I'm all nope. I'm a single mom. She don't take good care of me. I'll drown in the blood sliding down the back of my throat.

The tooth removal was so bad... It was horrible. There was blood every where for days... I can only imagine the nose surgery would be the same

I also hate the smell of blood. So I'm like no. It sounds like the most miserable thing.

If I had someone to take care of me and baby me like a little blood soaked lamb in need of care... That's s different story.. But I don't have anyone that would take care of me

After my tooth... I was throwing up the blood and my kid just stood there and stared,. Which I wanted to hide it from her I was sick... But I was in the kitchen and began violently puking in the trash can... Scared her to death

"Mom I'm scared"

"I am, too. This has never happened before"

So yeah fuck that nose. I got one crooked fucking nose. And it makes me sick.

She wants me to have surgery so I'll quit snoring.

Well.

Ear plugs are at the Dollar Tree, babe.

So y'all take your pills that you need

Some one cares about you

And they don't want to slap your face off. But you'll drive them to it. And a crooked nose isnt all its cracked up to Be. It pretty much sucks.

I can't even blow it Like a normal person....

[mnjr23rd]

Together Alone

"You know he actually, convinced me to quit Nolu?" Rita said as she lit up a cigarette and took a long drag.

"Man I've missed that", She held it up towards the light almost admiring it. The second last cigarette out of a crumpled up pack of twenties. Which by the looks of it, had been hidden underneath a mattress for far too long.

She closed her eyes, I watched her chest expand, as her lungs began to fill with the contents of the cigarette. She inhaled, and held her breath for a while, taking it all in for a moment.

Before exhaling puffs of white smoke, through her nostrils and later through her lips.

Which had me scratching at my nose and slightly coughing, it irritated the heck out of my sinuses and clogged my throat.

I saw her eyes begin to, float up and about, then around the room dilating as she opened them, in some sort of daze.

I think that was the nicotine kicking in or it flooding the brain, which ever one came first.

"Still gives me the jitters.. Even after all this time. You know he actually convinced me to quit? Me of all people?" Rita said again shaking her head, as if she had been hoodwinked or swindled into giving up smoking. Before she took another drag of the cigarette, only longer this time. She looked at that cigarette as someone would an old friend, that you'd meet by chance in a clothing store or at a coffee shop or at some library miles from anywhere. And you reminisce about times gone by, laugh at things you used to do when you were younger.

And you stand there in almost shock, and you ask yourself, is that really so and so? I haven't seen so and so since we were kids. But there he or she is, right in front of me, the girl I thought would never get married with a ring on her finger and a child holding her other hand. The guy everybody expected to fail because he hustled people, and never studied there he was with a Rolex on his arm, and Porche keys in his hand. And you almost wonder how on earth, did he ever end up getting it so good? While you stuck in a 9-5.

That was Rita's reaction, one of shock and disbelief, as she tried to remind herself what smoking a cigarette used to be for her.

"It would've been two years and sixteen days now. Without a single one of these.." She held it up again as the bud began to burn her finger tips, it almost falling out of her hand, she laughed a little.

"Or a drop of alcohol.. But here I am, doing drugs again. He'd be so disappointed..." She said raising the bottle of wine, pressing it against her lips, taking a huge gulp of the wine.

"Theodin who always told me that I could do better, that I was better.. That this was bad for me, bad for my health, for my well being and that I was meant for so much more, that I deserved way better.. That I was way too beautiful." She sniggered.

"Then why would you relapse Rita?"

"Because I... I don't know, what to do with all these emotions Nolu, that's why. I mean he, your Theodin was like my glue but Theodin isn't here anymore, he's.. only God knows where! This and this.." She held up the cigarette and the bottle of wine.

"Was all I knew.. all I used to use to cope. This was all I could use, to numb the pain, until he came.. I miss him so much"

I felt something strange, something I hadn't felt in a long while, rage , anger, jealousy. begin to fill my heart and eventually engulfed it.

"Bet you do.. Don't you?" I said as it threatened to over take me and trickle down to my hands. Blood flowed rapidly to my head, I could feel my head throbbing.

"I do.. More than I can put in words.."

"What?" That was a line that Theodin used with me, almost 4 years ago. The last time I heard from him on the phone, before I finally saw him come to rescue me. He had said that he loved me, more than he cared to admit, and that he missed me more than he could put in words.

"Who taught you that line?"

"Your Theodin.." Rita kept saying that "your" part passively without a care in the world. My blood was boiling right now, she just kept laughing and giggling and with every giggle images flashed in my mind of her and Theodin. Was there anything he kept only for us? Or had he given everything to her, including his heart? I felt like swatting her right across the face and wiping that dumb smile off her bronze face.

"Want some?" She interrupted, sipping on the bottle of wine in her hand.

"You could use a glass or four...after what you've been through and they say it's bad manners to let a lady drink alone."

"That's a cheesy pick up line, that cheap girls you to get guys to buy drinks for them."

"Cheap?"

"Yes.. Cheap"

"What you trying to say? Are you calling me cheap?"

"Nothing.. I'm just saying if the shoe fits you know"

"You just mad, that your fiancé all up in this.."

"Female dog"

"Tramp"

"W-h-o-r--"

"Takes one to know one" She said cutting.

"Homeless person"

"Hobo"

"I'm not even that good at this, Nolu. But you? You suck.." She said cackling.

"Okay fine..."

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay? Seriously? Like part of me wants to hit you, with something so badly right now, I've been fighting myself over it for the last thirty-five minutes"

".. And where would you start?" Rita had a confused, almost baffled look on her face.

"That pretty face of yours! That stole my husband away."

"Stole? Really? But okay I'll take that.. And where would you end?"

"With your head inside a dumpster.." She began to laugh, she thought I was joking but I wasn't. I wasn't laughing, my teeth weren't even showing not a single one, I was dead serious. I had killed her a gazillion times in my head, now I was trying to figure out how I'd get out here without leaving any tracks or getting caught.

"We really going to fight over a guy? Like we still in middle school? Two grown women? Pulling each other's hair? Kicking, biting and scratching?" as much as I hated to admit it but she was right, It wasn't her fault that Theodin liked her, I'm not ready to say the other L-word which has a lot of weight on it. Call me dumb or whatever you like, but I love him. I know, I know part of me says he's gone but part of me doesn't want to believe it.

"Truce?" She said stretching out her hand.

"Truce" I replied, shaking her hand. I was older, so naturally I had to be the bigger person. I knew she was working me, trying to find out my anger, a nerve and used it against me but I knew better.

"You know what they also say around here?"

"What?" I asked in an even more annoyed tone,

"That Chinese wine a good laugh, and a bowl of sushi can fix anything and if you add a bowl of ice cream and chocolate into the mix you can fix a broken heart"

"You sure you aren't making that up, as you go? My heart isn't broken.." My heart wasn't broken, it wasn't aching, it was shattered.

"Mine is.. And I don't know maybe I am, making it up. Maybe I'm not.. but I guess there's only one way to find out," she lifted up the bottle and passed it to me.

"What happened to the glass?" She took another gulp only bigger this time.

"Drink it from the bottle. That's the best way to drink wine"

"You mean to drown your sorrows."

I pondered for a while, than I said,

"On second thought nah, I'll pass on the wine, but I'll take you up on the sushi, and the good laugh and maybe some chocolate and the conversation"

"Fine to me, I propose we toast Adelyne"

"To what? Aren't toasts meant for celebrations? What are we celebrating?"

"To new beginnings, making new friends or better yet how about we celebrate Theodin? The man we both love, the man we wish we could both hate..."

"Cheers" we said in unisoun as the bottle and my glass of water clinked together.

"He saw my best.. when I was at my worst. I can't believe I'm already slurring my words but I'm only a bottle and a half in.." She giggling a little bemused. I kind of joined in.

"You supposed to sip it slow, the quicker you drink, the quicker the lights go out.. But you right..that was Theodin alright, always wanting to see the best in people, always thought no one was beyond saving. He always said that people were like diamonds in bad condition, when you find them. Full of coal, dirty, and gritty on the surface.."

"But they were still diamonds underneath", Rita interrupted, finishing my sentence.

"He told me that too.." She added

"And how everyone deserved a  chance, to be loved, to be at  peace. He was capable of seeing beyond me, beyond this skin. He saw into my soul, something even I couldn't see. Greatness, he'd tell me that every day.  Even when I disappointed him, like I'm probably doing now. He'd still be there with a smile on his face, telling me I could begin again. That regardless of what I thought I was, he somehow still saw a diamond  underneath," she said with a chuckle.

"I bet he'd be telling me right now to take it easy on the wine wallflower, and that it was way too early to even be drinking wallflower"

"Don't do it for him Rita, do it for you... It feels better trust me, it lasts longer. Like now you relapsing because the person you were doing it for isn't around and now you don't have legs to stand on, now you don't have a reason to stay clean. It's why you have to do it for yourself, that's the only way you'll get sober, and stay sober.. When you don't have prove anything, to anyone but you. Where you show yourself, that your better than alcohol, and yes better than Theodin. Yes he's one of a kind, but he's only a man and he has flaws too and he'll let you down, and break your heart. Make yourself proud, make God proud, do it for your son, make sure Xhao has a bright future and a mum which he can be proud of."

Rita sat up and put the bottle down,

"You know about that too?"

"Yeah Theodin told me."

"And you okay with it?" I wasn't okay with it, I was angry, bitter and I was crumbling inside and I had been more than tempted by the wine, I wanted to chug it down my throat so badly but something deep inside me, kept saying,"Nolu hayi" and I listened.

"Yes, I mean no but I can't change what happened. I still love him, and he's all I've held onto for these past four-five years. Knowing I'd see him again kept me going, but I lost hope I'm not going to lie to you, part of me thought I wouldn't get out of that place alive but here I am, God being good. He is a light, when all other lights fail, it's why I don't care about what so and so thinks says or does but if I'm good with Him then I'm good with anyone.."

"You sound exactly like Theodin!" She said with a huge smile, like someone had turned on a light bulb life came back to her face.

"He saw something.. I couldn't even see in myself. It was like he looked at me and saw my future, he saw me educated, he saw me successful, he saw me thriving. He saw me whole even, when I was in a million pieces, no wallflower, please wallflower, Ree this, Ree that"

"He was like that with me too," I bit back a smile.

"Always mothering me... Theodin must have loved you hey...and you must have loved him Rita..."

"He did but there was always a piece of his love I could never have..." She took another huge gulp from the bottle of wine in her hand and another drag from her last cigarette that was now almost burning her lips.

"No matter how much I loved him, no matter how much I tried, there was always a but somewhere. A but Adelyne this, a but Adelyne that. He loved me, but he loved you way more than he ever could me. You could see it in his eyes, he loved me but our love always had a period somewhere where it would just stop. Where it would just end, and couldn't go any farther, his heart just wouldn't allow me to ever take your place. Not that I wanted him to, not that I didn't try either. I just wanted him to have a place for me too.. you know.. In that big heart of his because I couldn't help it. I just, I just loved him you know? He didn't have to act, do anything or perform I just loved him, more than anything. I loved  him more I had ever loved anyone... I loved him with every ounce of.. of.."

"Your being." I said as she wiped off a handful of tears that were now dripping down her shoulders, I just stayed silent, I did not know what to do. I didn't want to comfort her, I just wanted to leave her be, I was hurting too. Everything she said was daggers, being dug into every memory I had of him.

"I hate crying... But It was you Adelyne, it was always you. No matter what I did, no matter how much I tried. I knew one day he'd go back for you.. and that first day when I saw him look at you, I saw this look in his eyes he had never looked at me with before. What I'd give for him, to look at me that way, at least once. I think my soul would've left my body. His eyes sparkled that day, they came alive they had this joy, this anticipation, he looked at you the way someone would look at home. After being away for a really long time and you'd sit down on the varander even if you were all by yourself, with a smile on your face and you'd say "yeah.. I'm home" even if you said it to yourself. I envied you and part of me, still envies you."

"I'm sorry..." I said as tears of my own formed in my eyes.

"For what?" I was emotional too, as much as I saw my pain. I looked at hers and I felt it.

"I don't know, I don't know what to say... For making you feel this way, ruining your life"

"You didn't ruin anything, I just chose wrong. I just love people, I can't have and that's okay because stuff it right? It's 4am in Macau!" Rita shouted from the top of her voice and laughed shaking of the tears.

"What a city! What a time to be ALIVE! Adelyne is it?" She shouted even louder.

"Shush! You're going to wake the kids"

"Yes mamá"

[systlin]

I have a naturally overactive immune system. I get sick often (typically 1 to 3 times a year) and seriously (fever, aches, nausea, etc). I've been working with my doctor on it, but I'm all about harmonizing new medications with traditional, natural treatments (that's how we discovered a lot of our modern medicine anyway). I'm starting to get sick again, but I don't have time to take off work. Do you have any natural treatment suggestions? Recommended herbal teas to try?

Just for some clarification; is your immune system overactive, or did you mean weak? Because it sounds to me more like it’s weak than it’s overactive. 

Echinacia is probably the best known immune booster. Vitamin C, taken regularly, can help too. Echinacia is best taken at the start of cold symptoms. 

If you feel a cold coming on, hot strong ginger tea with honey and lemon (and, if you can stand the spice, cayenne pepper) will help. Ideally, down this as soon as you feel a cold coming on and then go sweat in a hot steamy bathroom for an hour or so (drink lots of fluids while you’re in there.) I often draw a quite hot bath, sip ginger/lemon/honey/cayenne brew, and read for an hour or so in the bath. The steam will help open up your sinuses and lungs, too, and clear out phlegm. 

After, take a cool shower to cool down. 

The goal here is to raise your body temperature enough to ‘sweat out’ the illness, namely kill the virus or bacteria and let your system dispose of the slaughtered corpses of the germs via your sweat and urine (another side effect of drinking a bunch of fluids; you’ll pee a lot). 

If you get sick anyway, the honey/lemon/ginger can soothe a sore throat. (leave the cayenne out for a sore throat; don’t want to irritate it any more than it already is). Steamy baths/showers can help open up your breathing passages. Horehound and elder flower are both very good for a wet phlegmy cough, particularly with honey added to the tea to help soothe. 

Gumweed is good for a dry hacking cough.