#my roommate told me a joke someone tweeted out apparently

[serelyly-hikari]

I am…still processing the news. I am not really okay. I-

Like many people, Dragon Ball was a HUGE part of my childhood. A HUGE HUGE part of my childhood. Dragon Ball was there before I even knew the concept of Anime. My parents grew up watching Dragon Ball, and like them I too grew up watching it. And till this day I love this series so much.

The news…the news are still processing. I cannot believe it, even as I’m writing this. Even when my roommate told me the news. I still cannot believe it.

To everyone who was touched by Akira Toriyama’s work, I send my condolences. I send my heart to you. To Toriyama’s family, I send my condolences and my support—my heart. To Toriyama’s himself, I wish him peace and I thank you. I thank you for the story you created and being part of my childhood. Thank you…thank you so much…

[psych0midget]

Secret Stan Account AU Part 2

Part 1

It doesn’t take long for people to figure out that A. Minyard’s book is dedicated to Neil Josten. NEIL FREAKING JOSTEN. Like Neil Josten, the one and only exy player who can play every position? He’s a formidable backliner, a precise dealer (though he hates the position, fiercely) and one of the most promising strikers of the exy panorama? That Neil Josten? Oh. My. God.

Neil has thousands, millions of fans out there. But he had seriously underestimated it. It doesn’t take long for his fans to put two and two together, realise that he has a secret stan account and start looking for it.

It also doesn’t take them long to find it, not when Neil didn’t have the foresight of using a fake name on twitter. There are only so many book twt accounts run by someone called Neil.

Most of his fans are excited about it. Some are not. Especially when they realise that his account is also a Kevin Day stan account.

It’s a pr nightmare, that’s what Allison tells him as soon as he picks up the phone. She tries to keep everything under control, but by the time Neil’s done with the meetings, the interviews and all the unnecessary drama, he opens up Twitter only to find out that his stan account has been deleted.

And so has Drew’s.

Neil curses. He hadn’t had time to text Drew and tell him that he’d seen the dedication. And Drew, or rather A. Minyard has no official social medias. He’s fucked, he’s well and truly fucked.

The only source of info is the website of Drew’s publisher. But there’s a just a short bio saying that A. Minyard is a 27 year old author from Columbia. Has three cats and knows how to use knives, he swears the fight scenes in his books are all real. There’s also a photo and it’s the portrait of a blond man with eyes the color of honey staring impassively at the camera. And It’s the only thing Neil has left of Drew.

Jean Moreau gets back home only to find his roommate looking at his laptop, tabs and tabs and tabs open on his desktop. There’s a cup of coffee on the ground, a half-eaten sandwich on the rug (!!!) and a phone book (he had no idea those things still existed in 2019) on the sofa.

Jean ushers Jeremy inside the apartment, closes the door behind them and sighs. “Have you tried calling your uncle yet?” he asks. “I tried, but it’s 3am in the UK, he’s not picking up.”

Jean had meant it as a joke. A joke. Jean will kill Neil if the FBI doesn’t kill him first. “You tried calling the British mafia just to find your internet boyfriend? Are you nuts?”

Neil, the bastard, doesn’t even look sorry.

Jean almost starts shaking as he tries NOT to throw a chair at Neil’s, but Jeremy wraps his arm around his waist and rubs slow circles on his hip till he calms down. God bless Jeremy, god bless Jeremy especially when he says “You know Minyard’s doing a book tour right? He should be in Chicago next week, you could always show up there?”.

And Neil, Neil who’s lost his fucking mind for a guy he became friends with on twitter, finally relaxes his shoulders and looks at Jeremy like he’s hung the moon. (Jean is going to murder Neil if he keeps staring at his boyfriend like that.)

Neil goes to the M&G with Minyard in Chicago. He pretends he’s not nervous, but he is. If the endless queue in front of the book shop is any indication, this won’t go down well.

And in fact it doesn’t.

It doesn’t because the fans recognize him, they start asking for selfies and autographs and all hell breaks loose. When Minyard finally appears he just glares at him, at the caos around him and tells him to fuck off. Nothing more, nothing less.

Jean welcomes him home with a bottle of vodka and Neil doesn’t drink, but he’s with Jean and Jean knows everything about him. He downs more than half a bottle before he finally passes out on the sofa.

Neil wakes up to the sound of his phone pinging and pinging and pinging. There’s phone calls, texts, more phone calls and hundreds, probably thousands of twitter notifications. Apparently, drunk Neil had tweeted “a mynyard s a douche” from his official account. Neil groans. Allison is gonna kill him.

Turns out that it’s Kevin Day who tries to kill him.

It goes like this.

When Neil had said that Kevin Day could punch him in the face and he’d thank him, he hadn’t meant it l i t e r a l l y.

And yet he’s at the Christmas gala with his team in South Carolina. He’d thought the 12-hour drive drom Chicago to Columbia would be the worst part of it. But apparently Kevin Day is set on changing his mind.

Neil doesn’t even get to say “Hi” to him before Kevin grabs the collar of his shirt and hoists him up against the wall. He almost chokes him. But it’s the words he utters that really do the thing. “Don’t you ever insult my brother again.”

It’s Nicky Hemmick, the Seakings’ physio, who picks him up off the floor as soon as Kevin leaves. “What the fuck’s wrong with him?” Neil asks while Nicky’s busy checking Kevin hasn’t seriously hurt him. “He’s just a protective asshole.” “But I don’t even know who’s his brother.” “Ever heard of A Minyard?”

And that fucker winks at him, he winks at him.

Neil tells himself that Nicky deserves it when he pushes him away and makes a run for Kevin. If he runs fast enough, he should be able to get to him before Kevin leaves the building. The problem is that, when he catches up to Kevin, he doesn’t even think twice before shouting “I didn’t know he was your brother, but in my defence he really is a douche.”

This time there’s nobody who can help him when Kevin punches him in the face and knocks him out. Sometimes Neil wishes he was born mute.

Things only escalate from that moment on.

Neil wakes up on a hospital bed, Minyard staring down at him. Maybe it’s the painkillers. It must be the painkillers. But he’s pretty sure he hears Minyard saying “if it wasn’t for Andrew, I would’ve left you to die and blamed Kevin,” before he blacks out again.

The second time he wakes up, he just thinks he’s still hallucinating (or maybe he’s dead?) because he sees double. There’s two Minyards staring down at him. He doesn’t even try to make sense of what he’s seeing, he just closes his eyes.

The third time he wakes up, he sees Kevin on his bedside and Neil tries to fake his own death. The ECG beating next to his bed betrays him, though. “I’ve been told I have to apologise if I don’t want a knife between my ribs.”

Kevin begins telling him that he is the adoptive brother of Drew, also known as Andrew Minyard. Who also happens to have a twin brother, Aaron Minyard, neurologist by day and fake-Andrew by night. Who didn’t really like the idea of anyone lying to his twin. That’s why he’d been rude to him in Chicago.

And would he please, please, talk with Andrew because he’s become insufferable since Neil had stopped texting him? He’s been threatening to kill Aaron at least twice as much as he used to.

“He even said that he’s miscalculated everything, you had a crush on me and didn’t like him at all -“ “Fuck’s sake NO, I wouldn’t touch your pompous ass with ten feet pole.”

And it’s at that point that Andrew barges into the hospital room telling Kevin to shut up. Looks Neil in the eyes, says “you just because of what you said to Kevin” and then he kisses him. He kisses him.

Years and years later, after some more pining, thousands of kisses and a key to an apartment in Chicago, Andrew would say that he had not done such a thing. But he had, oh he had.

Years and years later Andrew would also admit that the main character of the Tragic Waste of Skin saga was actually inspired by Neil. Apparently, he’d seen Neil’s face on one of Kevin’s sports mags, he’d read the transcript of the interview that had made a goalkeeper cry on tv and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him.

Years and years later Andrew would write the final book of his saga. The dedication would say: “To Neil, Marry me? Yes or no? Drew”

Years and years later Neil would tweet from his official account “a minyard’s still a douche”. Attached to the tweet a photo of Andrew glaring at the camera with his hands wrapped around a cup of hot chocolate, a wedding ring on his finger.

[pip-n-flinx]

Among Us

So this is going to get long, this is going to get personal, this is going to be about prejudice and race and self-serving bad-faith arguments and flawed rhetoric. And for all of these reasons I’m going to leave the rest of this under the cut.

As a few of my friends will know, earlier this week I was delivered an ultimatum from my landlord/roommate. He disguised it well, telling me he was ‘concerned for my mental health’ that my ‘negativity was dragging the whole house down’ and that I was simply too filthy to live with. I won’t pretend I’m a neat freak, and I can honestly say that I have taken some pains to clean more since, to his surprise and delight, though its particularly hard to take coming from him.

“You’re always so down. It’s making you lazy and thin skinned” You know its funny you should say that, now specifically, because I’ve actually been on the up and up this last week and you didn’t mention this at all in January when I was actually at my worst, or February when I was afraid I was going to have to quit my job, or back during the holiday season when retail work was breaking my back... Only now do you think to check in on me?

“You left a pair of gloves, a letter, and a small wooden trinket on the table!” Indeed I have, as you have left your pair of gloves, well over 21 letters, and regularly set your packages on this same table, including today two packages to be returned to amazon. I didn’t realize I didn’t get to use the table the same way you do.

“You don’t do dishes! except that you did this week, which is cool I guess but still!” You do realize that I actually hand-wash every dish I use within 24 hours of using it, right? And that often the dishes you come to me bitching that I never cleaned are in fact your fiances, yes? Ok good, next question.

“You’re always complaining about work. I don’t mind that you vent, but its all you talk about anymore!” I have either lost or walked away from 4 jobs in this last year, and that has not been easy, or fun. I have worked essential retail jobs the entire pandemic thus far. Additionally, in the months leading up to you storming out of your 75k a year salaried sales job, I had told you to leave it because I could see that it was killing you. You got so fed up with the job that for 4-5 months before you left your grandma-paid-off-my-second-mortgage capitalism-knows-best-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps-ass spent more time playing valorant and league of legends on the clock than doing actual work. Need I remind you that every time I stepped into your office, or simply stepped upstairs to get ready for work, you would complain about how awful your managers were, or how shitty someone had been to you over the phone? DID I EVER BELITTLE YOU FOR ANY OF THESE THINGS????

The real kicker was that the spark, the moment that started this (at least for him) was me trying to explain why racism and ‘cultural supremecy’ was bad. I had brought to him something I thought we could both agree on, that we could both laugh at. I brought him a series of tweets about how problematic Van Gogh was for studying and imitating traditional japanese painting techniques. He took this, and immediately turned into a piece of the culture wars. Now, I agree, this is an egregious example of trying to ‘cancel’ someone. How cancelling a long dead artist who couldn’t sell his art while he was alive is important is beyond my comprehension, its not as though the market value of these comes up very often, and almost no-one will ever have a chance to buy or reject a Van Gogh. But to him this was emblematic of ‘liberals’ cancelling Seuss and Rowling.

He even went so far as to say that Van Gogh probably ‘did it better’ than the artists he was studying/imitating. Now, this is a huge red-flag to me because this is straight out of the Nazi playbook. This is William Shenker, proposing a theory of music to proof ‘German cultural superiority.’ This, if you will pardon my language, is the real culture war: trying to supplant other cultures art and history with western figures and events.

Now, for those of you who don’t know who I’m talking about, this man is sexist. He doesn’t believe women are equal, complains about women’s sports, and rejects a woman’s right to choose. This man is a transphobe, questioning the logic of ‘safe-spaces’ and allowing people to change their pronouns. This man is a Trump supporter, and voted for him twice. And all of these things I found out years after we became friends. I have in the past contemplated what it would take to cut him out of my life wholesale. Despite our wealth of shared experience and our shared interests, we’ve been drifting apart as he drifts further and further to the right. And he has been drifting. He’s parroted more bad-faith arguments from Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson in the last 6 months then he ever did when I first moved in with him.

I have been trying to push back, especially when he says the quiet parts out loud. I try to let him know that it is not acceptable to say he would rather an unarmed black man die that risk that a police officer might be injured. When he compares the people in control of Seuss’ intellectual property and works choose to stop printing less than 6% of his published works to the book burnings in Mao’s china. When he says that its more important to protect teacher from students trolling them by changing their pronouns than it is to protect trans or NB kids. When he espouses his belief that trans and NB kids are ‘just mentally ill.’ Whenever he says any of this shit, I have pushed back. I have tried to halt, or at least slow, his descent towards eugenics and white supremacy and fascism.

It has been to no avail.

And to be honest its exhausting. I wanted to believe that he would trust me, not just to be a moral and thoughtful person, but to be educated and informed on these issues. We went to school together, spent countless hours solving homework and trying to crack games together. If I don’t know the answer to his questions immediately, he often jokes ‘C’mon, you’re supposed to know everything!” and has frequently told me that I’m selling myself short.

But apparently all that trust and all that respect goes out the window when I challenge him. Suddenly I’m ‘overly negative’ or ‘too sensitive’ or he’ll ‘need to look into that, but...’

And the thing is, he is capable of great acts of kindness. He offered to rent me a room in his completely paid-off house, no mortgage at all, simply because he could see living at home was killing my mental health. He offered me 50-75% off of market rate. He buys gifts all the time, has landed tenants job interviews, set people back on their feet, and refused to press charges for several major financial loses he’s taken on the determination that it would do more harm to the defendant than he could ever recoup from it.

But he does not extend this kindness, this generous soul, to everyone. And lately, his circle grows smaller, and his kindess has waned, and it’s been so devastating to see him slip further and further towards his own worst impulses.

I know there will be people who think I should have cut him out of my life years ago, who can’t believe we never talked enough to know that he voted for Trump in 2016. I think back then he was genuinely ashamed, or at least guilty, about that vote. Now? It’s almost a matter of pride for him. I can’t tell you the number of times in the last 4 months that he’s told me that Biden “couldn’t possibly” be as “great” a President as Trump.

And he hides behind this “praise them when they do good, cuff them when they do bad” line and I used to take comfort in it but now... Now it’s clear that it was just a front or excuse for liking these abhorrent people.

I’ve had a couple of hard conversations with some of our mutual friends about what this means for me, and how I interract with the whole group of friends as a whole, in the last 3 days. None of our mutual friends seem to take any of these things as seriously as I do, with my oldest friend even telling me that he ‘can’t imagine’ breaking a friendship off over politics.... I know I know, the caucasity of it all, yes ha ha. And it does make me genuinely worried that I’ll wind up losing the 5-6 close friends that I actually rely on these days over this horrible sonuvabitch. But all this personal venting aside, there’s something bigger here I want to address:

I sat down this evening to watch Last Week Tonight and I was struck by this piece about Tucker Carlson, because while I knew some of what was said on his show, he is remarkably confident for a man who spouts the quiet parts of racism/sexism/homophobia on TV. I have a hard time imaging a more blatantly racist thing to do then declare that a woman who suggested ‘dismantling systems of oppression wherever they are found’ wants to dismantle the American system...

And I have to say, we should go back to punching Nazis. I want these fuckers afraid. I want them to crawl back to the furthest reaches of the internet, relegated to be laughed at for their bigotry by pundits of every political ideology. I want their vile vitriol hidden away where it doesn’t embolden others. I want them to know that they are out of line, out of touch, out of time. I want them to feel ashamed, like the relics of a bygone and worse era that they are, and for them to quietly fade to an ignominious death. I’m tired of seeing them on National News. I’m tired of Pewdiepie’s channel and influence refusing to die despite all the horrible things he’s said and done. I’m tired of Ben Shapiro spouting off about a woman’s place and rights, as if he has any fucking authority on the matter. I just want these people to lose their platforms and their followers. And for me the fact that they haven’t yet is so incredibly discouraging.

I know I didn’t offer any answers here I’m just tired of being alone with this defeated attitude and I guess I needed to get this off my chest as I try to disentangle myself from the losing battle of trying to save a friend from alt-right radicalization.

[sheonvinyl]

the snl standby line ~experience~

um. wow.....

so i’m making this post mostly for myself and to have a documentation of these memories while its all still pretty fresh in my brain, but i figured i would share it on here too just in case anyone wanted to read it or chat about it all w me. (side note: if u were in the line too PLS hit me up we MUST discuss)

basically, long story short is my friend and i slept on the streets of nyc for three nights in below freezing degree weather, got standby tickets for the live show and were able to get in......like i was THERE. for the snl LIVE taping. 

feel free to keep reading below the break if you want an extremely detailed description of the whole ordeal and my personal experience that no one asked for dsjkhfksdjh

to be frank our journey did not start out as we had originally planned lmao. when harry announced that he was doing double duty my friend and i immediately were like. let’s start planning bc we’re 100% going. that resulted in a lot of amazon prime orders and reading up on blogs about tips and tricks in order to plan. we were trying to gauge how far in advance we were going to have to get in line in order to have a good chance. we got a lot of our info from a twitter account/blog run by these three women who have been to every show this season and been in the standby line every week so we trusted their advice. they have been so many times that they apparently have a relationship with the security ppl and are in contact with them. and obviously since it was harry this week, there was a lot more buzz about it and higher stakes of actually getting a ticket. people had been tweeting about lining up on MONDAY in order to be in the front of the line. this account reached out to people and nbc and said that security didn’t want anyone lining up before thursday and if people did, they would be asked to leave and not allowed to get back in line again. finding this out made us panic a bit bc we didn’t want to get thrown out for breaking the rules or anything like that. we originally decided to finish up our days at our internships on wednesday, head back to our apartment, gather up all our supplies and head to 30 roc around 10 so that we could be ready to get in line at midnight aka when it would officially be thursday. 

however, when i woke up wedensday morning amidst all the news about harry’s tour dates etc. there was an update that there were ~20ish people in line already. and that set us into a panic. we were confused if they were going to be thrown out or not bc they lined up before thursday, but periodically as we checked throughout the day security didn’t seem to be doing anything about it. so we made the decision to get to the line as quickly as possible after work. not sure i’ve ever moved faster in my life than i did when i got home and immediately threw anything i thought would be remotely useful into my duffle bag. the state of my room right now? despicable.

we make it to the line a little bit after 8 pm and after an initial assessment, we were around #70-80 in line. and based on that, we decided to stay and set up camp bc we thought our chances were pretty good. (for reference: when the standby tickets were handed out on saturday morning, we were 86th and 87th in line so the number definitely fluctuated based on when people counted us and people maybe being in the bathroom during the count etc.)

everyone around us in line was super super super nice and the ppl we met thru it will def be homies for life. we went through too much together not to be bonded for life ksjdhfksdh. shout out to aisha @teafull​ specifically !!!! we really did that luv......miss u and kristina already babes xoxoxox

wednesday night was definitely the worst sleeping-wise. our set up originally was a waterproof tarp on the ground and then a yoga mat that my friend used as a bed and then our two camping chairs next to the yoga mat. for the first night, i slept in the camping chairs using one to sit in and having my legs propped up on the other one. we each had two blankets and were wearing more layers than i could ever count. we bought a shitton of feet warmers, toe warmers and hand warmers in preparation, but we didn’t really get the hang of using them until the second and third night lol. i woke up probably every hour and a half on wednesday night bc i was either uncomfortable or just so unbearably cold. every time i woke up i made sure to move my toes around bc i was so paranoid i was going to get frostbite lmao. 

thursday was better. we actually got the hang of the hand and feet warmers!! we figured out that if we were wearing shoes they didn’t really work because they were being suffocated and they needed to be in open air to work properly. they worked exponentially better if we didn't wear shoes bc they were exposed to the cold air and heated up really well so that’s a useful piece of information out of this i guess?? sdjhkds. at this point i think there were about 150 people in line. the line wrapped from the back of the nbc building on 6th ave/avenue of the americas around to w 48th street as far as the nintendo store which ends right at the today show plaza (and it got even longer over the next two days). 

one of the worst things about the whole experience would probably have to be the incessant comments from passerbys on the street. they would look at us and speak about us as if we weren’t there. they would also film or take photos of us in the LEAST discreet ways possible which was very irritating. and made me feel like a literal zoo animal on display. i heard comments like “they know the show is on SATURDAY right?”, “they’re doing all of this for that one guy from one direction?”, “do your parents know you’re doing this?”, “you’ve got to be kidding me”, “they’re going to freeze to death for not even a guaranteed ticket to see this guy” and by far the absolute worst one and most offensive thing i heard, “they’re like the modern day homeless”. i could go on a whole separate tangent about this because it makes me so FUCKING angry, but i was very close to confronting some people because of the impeccably inconsiderate, insensitive and blatantly classist comments people were making straight to our faces. additionally some people in line were being harassed by people from radio stations (or people posing as employees of radio stations) that clearly had the agenda of making it seem like fans of harry are dumb and unaware of world issues etc. you can read a more well-written and detailed account about it all on aj’s blog here. but i’ll reiterate that they definitely chose the wrong group to mess with!! the issue was dealt with in record time and i’m proud of and thankful for all the people who stood up to that asshole and put him in his place. he deserved it.

i slept the best on thursday night into friday. probably because i finally had the common sense to buy GLOVES (someone lmk why i thought it was okay to come without them ??? ) as well as buy an extra blanket at a barnes and noble nearby. one of my roommates was also kind enough to bring me her yoga mat and two extra pairs of pants to add to my layers. those two extra layers 100% made a difference. not much happened in the line on friday besides a little bit of drama between a couple of girls at the front of the line who apparently left for 10+ hours that day and (to my knowledge) weren’t kicked out of the line. i don’t want to speak too much on it because i wasn’t directly involved in any of it and only heard it by word of mouth. however, i will say i think there was definitely some suspicious activity from some people that were in line who were for example, using lawn chairs (which are specifically prohibited on the snl webpage) and abusing their break times. 

at 7 pm on friday, the line was shifted so that the beginning of it started at the doors to the nbc studio. i think they do this mainly so that the pages who hand out the standby tickets have easier access to the line? but i’m not positive. our new area was now on 6th ave, smack dab in front of the rear end of 30 roc, basically where the line had originally started. with the amount of people in line (probably around 200 or so at this point on friday) it STILL wrapped around to west 48th even after the shift. and then not even 20 minutes after they moved us was when snl interns came down with CARTS of slices of WATERMELON and CHERRIES !!!!!!! when i tell you i lost it.....

i didn’t get a good picture of the cherries but you get the idea. one of the interns giving us info about what was going on said that harry “was very specific about giving you guys cherries and watermelon” sjkdfhksdjh. and because of his previous behavior w the kiwis i was like....well he’s not playing watermelon sugar then we’re just going to have to prepare for something else. and let me tell you, i have never been more happy to be wrong in my entire LIFE. 

additionally, a couple of men, who i believe worked for snl or nbc, came around with carts of soup for all of us. they didn't confirm or deny that harry sent them (which makes me think he probably didn’t), but the two options were either chicken and sausage or split pea. yes, that’s correct. SPLIT. PEA. when they told me that, i shrieked in their faces, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE JOKING” and they just looked at me so weirdly and go, “......no? like which one do you want......” skdjhfkjsdh. they definitely thought i was absolutely off my rocker (which i certainly was, but that’s besides the point). i’m pescatarian so i chose split pea, and if there’s one thing to know about me it’s that i absolutely ABHOR peas, but i ate it anyway. i had to use all of the oyster crackers as well as some pretzel crisps that i brought with me as a snack in order to make it bearable LMAO. however, regardless of if harry sent it himself, it was a really nice gesture and i’m thankful that they were kind enough to provide us with some food. the snl staff also sent down hot chocolate and coffee and pizza over the course of the three days which was very much appreciated as well!

we were a lot less separated in our new spot on 6th ave so everyone in line was able to hang out with each other a lot more which as really fun!! a girl near us had brought cards against humanity and a group of 7 of us played for what felt like over an hour or so which was really good time. aisha won and no, i am not salty about it at all !!!!!1!1!11!11!!!! 

it was really difficult to sleep that night as well because we were on a much busier road with a lot more lights. it also felt colder and windier despite windscreens that staff put up around our barricades (see the poor quality pic of my friend and i with one of them below LOL). i think everyone was really on edge for the next morning so i’m sure that didn’t help with sleeping either. we settled down to go to bed a little past midnight and i woke up at least three times throughout the night to readjust my blankets and sleeping position or check the time.

finally saturday morning came. my friend had to shake me awake at 6:30 am bc i was finally able to doze off again, but the panic in me immediately activated and i was UP and ready to go. we still hadn't come to a full decision on if we were going to choose dress rehearsal or live yet so we were definitely on edge. we basically wanted to wait until the pages came to us and ask them how many people chose live vs. dress so that we could choose the show we were more likely to get into. however, deep inside i know that we both desperately wanted tickets to the live show. we had been keeping track of other people who were farther up in the line via their socials and seeing what they were choosing too. surprisingly (at least to me), a lot of people ahead of us decided to choose dress rehearsal rather than live. in theory, it makes sense because you’d hopefully get to see more sketches that might get cut for time as well as “spend more time” w harry. my friend and i (who is probably the biggest snl fan on the planet, no lie) would’ve been happy with either, but we both definitely wanted to witness the show that everyone else was going to watch on tv. 

when the pages got to us we found out that it was basically split 50/50. an equal amount of people decided to do live vs. dress. for either show we chose, we would’ve been in the 40s for our standby ticket number. and because of that, we decided to SEND IT and sign up for tickets for the live show (and partly because all our friends in line were also sending it w the live show too!!!). we were tickets #41 and #42 and we honestly felt really really good about it, but we didn’t want to discuss it too much or get our hopes up in the event that it didn’t end up working out. 

after that, the actual standby line experience was basically over. we IMMEDIATELY grabbed all our stuff and ubered back to our apartment. our roommates were already up and they greeted us with lights up blasting through our alexa akjhfkdfh. saturday was also conveniently my university’s homecoming weekend, and as seniors in college, my friend and i felt that it was important for us to go. i won’t go into too much detail about it bc that’s not really the point of this whole post, but my friend and i REALLY had ourselves a DAY on saturday. i actually don’t know how we pulled this off. we ended up showering for probably 40 minutes each to scrub the grime off our body and then day drank from 11:30 to maybe 5 pm........like??? whomst???? luckily, i was able to squeeze in a nap before we had to start getting ready for check in at 10 pm back at 30 roc, but i was 110% hungover when i woke up. 

we got to 30 roc at around 9:30 and were told to go to the nbc store to check in. from there they cross-checked the name on your ID and name on your ticket and then lined you up in order based on your ticket number. i don’t think i realized how many people actually ended up lining up for the standby line until we were there....people had ticket numbers all the way up #267 or something. that’s CRAZY!! after a bit of waiting (maybe half an hour?) a security guy came out and told us that they were going to starting bringing the group up into the corridor and get the process moving. he made it clear that this wasn’t a guarantee to get in. the first 40 were taken and then after about 5 minutes they sent probably the next 40 or so (including us in the front of that second group). from there, we did a security check and waited in the hallway outside the peacock lounge (anyone who’s been to a taping of snl, jimmy fallon or seth meyers might know what i’m talking about). while waiting there we saw a few people trickle in and go through a security check as well. those people included zoey deutch (!!!!!!) - who was rocking this INSANE red plaid suit combo as well as the cutest bob i’ve ever seen - as well as GLENNE aka jeff’s wife who was also serving looks™️ with her outfit. 

security then moved us farther down the hallway closer to the elevators and this is where we all started getting really nervous. i had no concept of time bc my phone was running out of battery and i turned it off bc i was paranoid if they saw it they would ask me to leave skdjhfs. it was only a matter of minutes before we knew if we were going to make it in or not. the staff had us line up two by two and kept counting and recounting us. then one of them grabbed a stack of wristbands and counted us one last time before he stopped at ticket #30 and said “congratulations all of you have a seat in the show”. the energy in the room was SO CHARGED. he was handing out their tickets and was urging them to put them on as quickly as possible and then they were ushered into the elevators. side note: there’s rumors that lorne michaels (creator and head of snl) reserves 30 seats specifically for the standby line. so that might be why he originally stopped at ticket #30.

my friend and i were holding each others hands as if our lives depended on it bc it was really make it or break it at this point. a couple minutes later he goes down the line again while counting us and stops after maybe 15-20 people behind us and again goes “congratulations, you have a seat in the show”. my legs literally almost gave out. my friend couldn’t speak to me bc she was trying so hard to hold in her sobs. i had to put on her wristband for her bc her hands were shaking so much LMAO. they quickly usher us into the elevator and as soon as the doors close all of us in the elevator start screaming and cheering bc WE MADE IT!!! but we quickly quiet down because we had been told beforehand that if we were excessively screaming during the show that we would be removed. i’m pretty sure that during dress rehearsal the staff said someone was shouting distracting comments at harry during the pauses and they were kicked out. someone else was also kicked out for drinking which......blows my mind. but anyway.

when they elevator doors open we are ushered SO FAST into the studio and into seats. i almost got split up from my friend bc the page tried to sit me in a single seat and i was like “no no no, i’m with her”. luckily they were able to sit us together on the back wall of the section that was facing front. they weren’t actual seats, but rather a large cushioned bench. most of our standby line peeps were sat in the right-most section of the studio which was sad that we couldn’t sit next to everyone, but also glad that my friend and i were sat together. 

the taping started no more than 10 minutes after we got there. it all happened so quick and i don’t think i’ve really fully processed everything that happened. i won’t talk too much about the sketches because you can all just watch them yourself but i’ll talk a little bit about some of the behind the scenes things that we witnessed. 

1. the way in which harry RAN between scenes and sketches was INSANE sdkfjhsdkjfh. right after the monologue he basically LUNGED off stage. a staff member (i think its a woman who does wigs for the snl cast) was moving so fast past the main stage after the cameras cut that from what i saw, the way harry had moved so quickly made her TRIP and harry IMMEDIATELY scooped her up basically DRAGGED her backstage skjdfhksjdhfdjkshk. it all happened so fast i still can’t tell if i imagined it happening or not but it was crazy. either way, harry was on the MOVE. 

2. one of my fav sketches by far was the lamaze class one. harry did SUCH A GOOD JOB SFKHSKJDHFSD especially w the accent????? (he actually did so many accents throughout the show i’m so proud of him). he broke a little bit during the lamaze one but as far as i remember that’s the only time he broke?? which??? that’s honestly impressive, especially for the sketches/jokes they were doing (don’t even get me started on the Sara Lee sketch....). also i wasn’t openly jealous of heidi gardiner because of how harry was holding her and caressing her but i was jealous. i will not speak more on this topic.

3. the slow/ballad version of lights up.............BREATHTAKING. there was not a sound in that studio literally everyone was so mesmerized by it. it was honestly gorgeously performed and the back up vocalists did SUCH and amazing job!! the music stage wasn’t really near us but we still had a good view of harry himself and THAT OUTFIT. it was......chefs kiss.

4. when the ballerina photos came up on the screen there was an audible GASP that ran through the audience. i shrieked. i almost grabbed the woman’s hand whom was sitting next to me and i did not know. that is all. 

5. WATERMELON SUGAR !!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!!!!!!!! y’all. have i got a story for you. when the drums hit right before the first “high” my friend and i went FERAL. we were on the edges of our seat the WHOLE song. i had such the urge to stand up and dance but we couldn’t out of fear of getting kicked out ksjhdfkjhs. the entire song we had our hands in the air grooving to it, i was flailing my limbs as MUCH AS I POSSIBLY COULD to jam out to it. additionally, if you watch the performance back you can actually see that harry’s hands are shaking and he’s fiddling with his soundbox on his back during the beginning of the song. we’re pretty sure that his earpiece wasn’t working so he was freaking out a bit. he started to dance a little, but you can kind of tell that he was a bit stiff, maybe because of nerves. then at one point, he looks to someone off stage to his right and he smiles at them and laughs a bit to himself. after that, he starts looking around at the audience up above and there are times that harry looks over to his left EXACTLY in the direction of where my friend and i were sitting/dancing. my friend who has literally ANALYZED this performance from watching it so many times claims that 2:15 is the exact moment that he looks over sees us flailing our entire bodies. and right after he looks over is when he really starts moving and grooving himself and appearing to look a bit more comfortable. while we don’t know FOR SURE if he really did see us or started dancing bc he saw us jamming out, i do want to mention that we were literally the ONLY people in the studio moving like that. we were in the back corner by the sound guy and one of the exits and sitting next to a middle aged married couple who were looking at us like we were certifiably crazy. we had a view of almost everyone in the audience because we were in the last row and as far as we could tell, we were the only ones that were jamming out as hard as we were. so take with that what you will. but from this time forward, i will go on with my life believing that my uncontrollable bodily reactions to hearing watermelon sugar LIVE perhaps made dear harold feel a little less nervous and more comfortable to do his thang :-)))))

i don’t think i’ve clapped harder for anything in my life than i did when he finished performing watermelon sugar and when he signed off the show. i teared up watching him go around to his band and all the cast members giving them the BIGGEST hugs. you can clearly tell that every single person on that cast had the best time with him this week. heidi and cecily both mentioned in their instagram posts about how agreeable he was to everything and how he has to come back to host again. it was clear that he had SUCH a fun experience and he did SO WELL!!!!! i have no doubt in my mind that he is going to host (or do double duty) again at some point in the future. so to those who were in the standby line and didn’t make it in to the taping for live or dress, don’t lose faith. there will for SURE be another opportunity to do this whole thing again. i am so so proud of everyone who was brave enough to face the elements for even a chance to get a standby ticket over these past couple days. you’re all so strong and such warriors. this is certainly not the last time he’ll be doing this. 

as grueling and testing as the whole camping out on the streets and standby ticket experience was, i would do it all over again in a heartbeat. i’m a senior in college and was privileged enough to be able to skip some classes and call out of work in order to do this. i figured that this time in my life is probably one of the only chances where i’ll be able to actually drop everything and sleep on the streets for three days to see one of my favorite people in the world. and in the end, it was all worth it. i couldn’t be prouder of harry and what an amazing job he did last night. this journey is something that i will cherish forever (and will definitely be telling my kids about in the future).

feel free to message me or drop in my inbox if you have questions or want to come chat about it all ! thanks to anyone who actually had the patience to read this whole thing. i’m so sorry for how unbearably long this was dkjfhsdkjhsdk. much love to you all. treat people with kindness :-)

[ponyregrets]

for the friends-to-lovers prompts, i found this in a text post i once reblogged: "we drunk-kissed but you forgot about it and i don’t know how to act around you anymore wtf". hope you have a nice day !!!

I combined this with another prompt (a tweet about a teacher with a birthday message on his forehead) from @allstandsilver

AO3!

Bellamy's first mistake is assuming that he's safe because his twenty-eighth birthday is on a Monday.

He doesn't make any plans, obviously. Celebrating the weekend before always feels kind of like cheating, but he invited people out for drinks on Friday, which he assumed was sufficient. It wasn't like he was ignoring his birthday.

When he gets home from work, Clarke isn't there, which isn't particularly surprising, but she has left a cupcake with a single candle on the kitchen counter, and a card that says, Happy birthday! See you in a couple hours, I hope. It's a fairly typical Clarke message, one that would have pissed him off, once upon a time. He moved in with her because the rent was cheap and the apartment was nice, and Clarke was friends with Monty, who is his friend who is least likely to tell him to move in with someone who is secretly awful as a joke.

And Clarke really isn't awful. The biggest issue was that she's rich and her parents own her very nice condo, and Bellamy was surly and vaguely resentful about the way she didn't have to work like a normal person and could still take care of herself. He might have been benefiting from her wealth, but that didn't make him like her.

Luckily, Clarke could do that all on her own. Within about a month, their bickering had moved from barbed to affectionate, and as he got to know her, he started to realize how hard Clarke did work, albeit with weird hours and less compensation than most people would need to survive. She wasn't an idle rich person, she was a rich person who took advantage of being well off to do what she wanted. It sucked that he couldn't do the same, but that's not really Clarke's fault. She works part-time for Planned Parenthood and volunteers at various museums and goes to parties her mother has just to argue with rich assholes, and on the side, she does art.

Now that he likes her, he's glad she's got the life she wants. She deserves it.

Right now, she's probably in her studio, so he texts Do you want me to make dinner for you or are you good? and goes to find a beer. He's going to have a couple drinks, not do any grading, and play video games, and when Clarke gets home, she'll probably hang out with him. It's a pretty good birthday plan, as far as he's concerned.

When the door opens half an hour into this plan, he calls, "Hey, welcome back!" and doesn't think anything of Clarke's not responding until the blindfold goes on.

"Happy birthday, dickweed," says Murphy, and shoves at shot into his hand.

"We love you," Miller adds.

"If you really loved me, you'd let me stay home and play Stardew Valley."

Miller takes one of his arms and Murphy takes the other and they pull him up and out of the apartment. He doesn't resist that much--they're probably not going to kill him on purpose, and if they got into the apartment, Clarke is at least involved, and she won't let them kill him by accident--but he makes sure there's enough resistance that they know he's not thrilled about this turn of events.

When he gets into the car, he gets another shot, and then Clarke says, "Your safe word is banana cream pie."

"Really?" he asks, downing the shot. It does actually taste like banana cream pie, which is kind of terrifying. "Is my safe word supposed to be dirty? That seems counter-productive."

"Is banana cream pie dirty?"

"It sounds like a euphemism for something. Come on, that's some sexual imagery."

"It might have been too long since you've gotten laid. Are you planning to figure out what sex act banana cream pie could refer to and then ask me to do it?"

"I'm definitely planning to do the first part." The second's not unappealing either, but he knows better than to fuck his roommate, especially his roommate he has a crush on. That's a recipe for disaster.

"Me too," Clarke admits. "But if you need to get out of this at any time, tell me banana cream pie and I'll bail you out."

"And you'll be a pathetic asshole," says Murphy. Then he squeaks, so Bellamy assumes Clarke kicked him.

"She'd only agree to this if we gave you an out," says Miller.

"This is why she's my favorite."

"Uh huh."

She's also his favorite because she ignores Miller. "So, do you need to get out?" she asks.

If he was a little better at letting friends down and/or self-preservation, he'd just say the safe word, and he and Clarke would get out of the car and have the low-key evening he'd been planning. That would definitely be the right choice. But they went to so much trouble, and he's kind of curious, and he's going to get to hang out with Clarke either way, so--

"I need another shot," he says, and everyone cheers.

*

Bellamy's alarm is set to go off every weekday at five-thirty, which is good because he wouldn't have remembered to set it and bad because his fucking phone is going off and he's definitely going to die. His mouth tastes like old leather, his whole body aches, and he thinks he banged his elbow on something, but he has no idea what or when or how.

"Happy birthday to me," he mutters, and staggers into the shower.

He stays in there for longer than usual, letting the hot water ease the various aches and pains in his muscles, but despite that, when he gets out of the shower, he still sees that BIRTHDAY BOY is written on his forehead in bright red sharpie, apparently unaffected by the steady stream of water trying to wash it off.

The calculations happen as quickly as they can, given how slowly his brain is moving. He spent a long time in the shower, and he's been dragging his feet every step of the way on top of that, so he doesn't have a lot of time to spare. He could try to scrub the marker off and be late, or he could just let it slide. His first-period class is APUSH, and while they're obviously assholes, they're the kind of assholes who will have fun with the teacher coming in with something weird written on his forehead. And then he's got second period free and he can deal with the problem then. That should be enough time.

It's not the best solution. But it's the best one he's got.

He gets dressed, gets packed, and makes sure he's completely ready to go before he pushes Clarke's door open and shakes her awake.

"What?" she asks, muzzy.

She's good at falling back to sleep, so he doesn't feel that bad for saying, "Hey, quick question."

She sits up, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. "Yeah."

"Is there writing anywhere else on my body?"

It doesn't seem to be the question she was expecting. "What?"

"I've got this," he says, pointing to his forehead. "Anywhere else? I don't want to find out from a student."

"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't." She finds her glasses on the bedside table and examines him, with a small frown. "I think you're good, as long as you keep wearing exactly that amount of clothing."

"Cool. Sorry I woke you up."

"I probably deserved it." She wets her lips. "That's it?"

"Yeah. Have a good day, get more sleep, I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

*

In Bellamy's experience, high-school kids think they're much slicker than they are. Which, to be fair, is true of a lot of people. But it's clear even to his alcohol-fogged brain that his APUSH class is laughing at him and they think he hasn't noticed, which is kind of pathetic. That is a level of failure to deceive that is truly epic.

"Okay," he says, once he's done with his lecture. No one has said a single word about the message on his forehead, and that is impressive. They're passing notes about it, but the class collectively understands that this is a rare and beautiful moment that must be protected at all costs. "Before we break into groups, any questions?"

Fox's hand shoots up, and he points at her. "How old are you, Mr. Blake?"

There's some giggling, and someone hisses, be cool in what they clearly think is a whisper. He can't tell who it is, though, so that's something.

"Uh, I just turned twenty-eight."

Apparently it wasn't the answer they were expecting; the news sets off another round of frantic whispering.

"I'm going to regret asking this, but did you guys think I was younger or older?"

"I thought you were, like, twenty-four, tops," says Sterling. "Maybe just out of college."

"Thanks, I think. Is any of this relevant to the exercise we're doing?"

"You asked," Sterling shoots back, which is true.

"I did, thanks for letting me know. Any relevant questions?"

"Did you do anything fun last night?" asks Jordan, and he makes a show of rolling his eyes. He's Monty's little brother, and Miller has a huge crush on Monty, so Jordan might actually have insider information on Bellamy's private life. It's something he tries not to think about.

"I don't know, did you? Get to work, Green."

The period ends with none of the students having told him about the writing on his forehead, which is the kind of thing that feels like it deserves a reward. He had expected someone to tell him, and the fact that no one did is genuinely impressive. They did a really good job.

Me: Do you think I can leave this message on my forehead until a student tells me it's there?

Clarke: I think you can do whatever you wantThat's your question?

Me: My first period class didn't say anything about itI want to see how long they can go

Clarke: They're going to counter-bet how long it'll be before you notice

Me: So everyone will have an exciting dayHow's your hangover?

Clarke: I don't get hangovers, I'm not an amateurDid you have fun?

Me: I think soMy memories are basically a fight scene filmed by Peter Jackson with a strobe light, so it's hard to be sure

Clarke: Ouch

Me: Did I ever use my safe word?

Clarke: NoIt seemed like you were having fun

Me: I'm pretty sure I wasThanks for helping to set it up

Clarke: [thumb's up emoji]

By fourth period, his day has completely turned around. His students have all entered into some kind of blood pact about not telling him that he has something written on his forehead, and three of his coworkers have come over to tell him privately, which means he can get them in on the whole thing. The students are convinced he just hasn't looked in the mirror since whenever the message was left, and there's some sort of pool to see who can find out who wrote it, which is doomed to failure. Unless someone confesses, the mystery of who wrote on his forehead will probably remain unsolved.

Still, it's nice to see the students banding together to keep a secret from him. Anything that gets the kids united is good in his book.

Madi Taylor from his sixth-period freshmen is the one who finally tells him, quiet and a little hesitant, after a homework question, when no one is around. She's clearly aware it's a betrayal, but she is one of his favorite students. He can't be mad she's on his side.

"You've got something on your forehead," is her way of putting it, which is pretty cute.

"Yeah, I know."

Her eyes widen. "Who told you?"

"Madi, how many mornings do you not look in the mirror before you go to school?"

"I heard you came right from the party."

"I don't know how anyone would know that, but I didn't." He smiles. "Don't tell them, I know you guys are having fun."

She looks dubious. "Aren't you going to get in trouble? Like, with the principal or something?"

"Not if everyone's cool."

Once she's gone, he texts Clarke someone finally cracked and then tries very hard to not think about when she'll respond, but that's an uphill battle. Because he always texts Clarke throughout the day, and she's been weird today. Off. Her replies feel terse, irritated and she could be distracted, but it feels like he fucked up something he doesn't even know about.

It's not even his fault, she was the one giving him endless shots. And she's the one who remembers what happened. He can't fix issues he doesn't know about.

Me: Did I do something to Clarke last night?

Miller: Dude, I'm not setting you up for this

Me: Setting me up for what?

Miller: Some shitty dad joke about how laid you got

He drops the phone and it clatters across the floor, startling his last-period class as they work on their quiz. It doesn't get close enough for anyone to pick it up, but Ethan does ask, "Did you finally see your reflection?"

"Eyes on your papers, it's just a phone," he says, grabbing it. "Two more minutes."

Me: Your shots got me blackout drunk and Clarke is mad at meTalk

Miller doesn't respond before the quiz ends, so Bellamy has to actually be a teacher instead of checking his phone, which is a fucking nightmare. Teaching is his passion, but finding out what happened last night and if he ruined his entire life hitting on Clarke or something would be nice too. That's the kind of data it's important to have.

"And yes, I have known about the writing on my face for the whole day," he tells them, wrapping up his lecture a minute before the bell. "But I'm proud of you guys for not telling me and assuming I don't know what mirrors are. Read the next chapter for tomorrow and be ready to talk about what you want to do for your projects."

He makes himself wait until all the kids are gone before he finally checks his phone, makes himself go to the top of the texts before he starts reading.

Miller: ShitUmOkI wasn't paying a ton of attentionFlirting with Monty etcBut I know you and Clarke were joined at the hipWhich is pretty standardBut you were drunk and touchy-feelyAnd later on I saw you guys full-on making outAnd then you told me you were leaving with this huge shit eating grin on your faceI figured you guys had sloppy drunk sex and I'd never hear the end of it

Me: Fuck I hope we didn'tIf I had sex with Clarke and FORGOTFuckThanks

Miller: Just remember, it takes twoYou weren't the only one grinning and slobberingJust talk to her

Me: I'm tryingThanks for the update

Miller: Let me know how it goesThe G-rated version

It's hard for Bellamy to believe there's going to be any version aside from the G-rated one, but he honestly understand why Miller thinks it's a good sign. If he was Clarke and he'd spent last night making out with her, only for her to spend the whole day texting him about some stupid shit, he'd probably be pretty upset. And if he thought that making out was a mistake, he probably wouldn't be snippy about it. He'd be relieved that she didn't know it had happened.

Or maybe he wouldn't. Even if he made out with someone he hated, he'd probably be annoyed if they just forgot. No matter how he felt about the person, he'd like to be memorable.

But really, there's only one way to find out why she's mad at him; there was only ever one way. They're just going to have to talk.

Me: Do you need dinner?

Clarke: At the studioBut thanks

Clarke's studio is a few blocks from their apartment, so he stops by on his way home from work all the time. If she'd said that on an ordinary night, he would probably stop by, so he can do it tonight too. It's not weird. Or at least, it shouldn't be. Everything is covered with a thin film of weirdness right now, but he'll break through it. He has to.

He's still mildly hungover and doesn't feel like cooking anyway, so he picks up some Chinese on his way. He can hear Clarke's angry playlist blaring as soon as he gets off the elevator, which isn't the best sign, but it's not like waiting will make it better. Not with unspoken grudges festering between them.

Not with his lips tingling with the knowledge that he kissed her and no fucking idea what it felt like.

"Clarke!" he calls, rapping on the door. "Open up, you need to eat!"

The music cuts off and the door swings open. Clarke is paint-splattered and wild, and he wants to kiss her now, fucking wants to kiss her all the time. It's not new, but it does seem more urgent.

"Did we make out last night?" he blurts out, and Clarke slumps against the wall.

"You remembered?"

"No," he admits. "I asked Miller why you were pissed at me and he said the last time he saw us, we were making out."

She wets her lips, not meeting his eyes. "I didn't think you were that drunk. I didn't know you--I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have--"

It makes sense all at once, even if it kind of breaks his heart. She thinks she took advantage of him and she's annoyed with herself for doing it. It's perfectly, totally understandable.

"Clarke, you didn't do anything wrong."

Her eyes flash. "How do you know? You don't know what happened."

"Did we kiss?"

"Yeah."

"Did we do anything else? After we got home."

"No. Just at the party. But you were way too drunk to--"

"You were pretty drunk too." He swallows, steps closer. "What happened? Why did we?"

"Because I wanted to!" she snaps. "Because I've been wanting to kiss you since you moved in and I thought you wanted to too and I--"

Interrupting someone with a kiss is, in Bellamy's experience, easier said than done. It happens all the time in movies and books, but it's hard to coordinate in real life, not nearly as fluid or smooth as he wants it to be. It should be a cool moment, but it takes a second to slot into place, Clarke's jaw under his fingers, her lips under his mouth.

But then she whimpers, tugs him close, kisses back, and it is familiar. They've done this before. They're good at this.

"I can't believe I forgot about this," he says. "Jesus, I didn't think it was possible for me to be so drunk I'd lose this."

Her smile is sheepish. "I did give you a lot of shots."

"Probably not just you. I'm pretty sure I drank my weight in birthday shots." He swallows. "So, uh--are we good?"

"Are we going to do that again?"

"I'm in love with you," he says. "So--yeah. As much as possible."

She laughs, winds her arms around his neck and kisses him again. "Wash your forehead off," she says. "Then we're good."

He had actually completely forgotten about the writing on his forehead; he hadn't had time to wash it off, with everything else happening, but it also didn't seem very important. "Do you know who wrote it?"

"No. But that's why I kissed you."

"Seriously?"

"I was just looking for an excuse."

"I'm glad you got one. Maybe I should keep it."

She pushes him away gently, still smiling. "Nope. Get cleaned up and we can have dinner."

He grins back. "It's a date."

[drpepperhateblog]

Riot Games Sexism: Source Collection

Article: Inside The Culture of Sexism at Riot Games

Some excerpts:

“Both male and female sources have described seeing unsolicited and unwelcome pictures of male genitalia from bosses or colleagues. One woman saw an e-mail thread about what it would be like to “penetrate her,” in which a colleague added that she’d be a good target to sleep with and not call again.”

“Another said a colleague once informed her, apparently as a compliment, that she was on a list getting passed around by senior leaders detailing who they’d sleep with.”

“One of Riot’s male senior leaders regularly grabbed his genitals, the source said, adding, “If he walked into a meeting with no women he’d just fart on someone’s face.””

In disbelief? Here are some witnesses, with both former and current employees confirming what’s happening:

Multiple tweets from MiniWhiteRabbit

“Multiple women confided in me about being sexually harassed at work. About their asses being slapped, being groped at parties, or being raped at Riot events.”

Riot Tiza tweet

“Tough to read this but this is dead on about some problems in our house.”

Xylese tweet

“I’m fortunate to have an incredibly supportive manager, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I have colleagues who’ve dealt w/ and still deal w/ this shit. I’ve had my own share of bad experiences here, too. I want that to change in Riot and in the industry.”

FFMirhi tweet

“I can assure you that the vast majority of testimonials in this article are true.”

Gogo Usagi tweet

“I worked there for 3 years and I'm still recovering, honestly.”

ScarizardPlays tweet

“I wanted to mostly be quiet and let other people speak but if my voice helps lend any credibility to the _staggering_ amount of sources cited here: this isn’t overblown ‘sensationalist kotaku garbage’ or whatever redditors love to say. Even the bits you can’t believe? it happened”

Yonah tweet

“I was so idealistic & hopeful when I joined Riot. I really believed the hype. And I left so broken I’ve been in therapy for years.”

Devongiehl tweet

“Happy to see all of this finally brought to light. I left three years ago, but Riot still has has a long way to go.”

DanielZKlein comment

“Sorry to state the obvious, but none of this is fucking acceptable. These people should at the very least have been put on a personal improvement plan or be fired. This is infuriating.”

UPDATE: Daniel Z Klein has further confirmed that the information in the article is true (link to multiple tweets), also confirmed what happened to Yonah (link), and made several retweets such as this:

“Not every single woman at a company has to have experience harassment for it to be real. The Kotaku piece was a result of months of thorough investigative journalism.”

In addition, there were questions raised about whether the person in the article could really have 16 game consoles plugged in. Here is proof that it’s true.

UPDATE 2: Riot Ghostcrawler comment on the controversy:

“One of the challenges of situations like this is that plenty of people have been fired for things that were described in the article. I have personally fired people for it (and I did it at Blizzard too). But you don't often go around communicating that fact, often times because you are trying to protect the victim of the harassment.

That is definitely not to say we have addressed every problem mentioned in the article.”

Not a current or former Rioter, but e-sports journalist Richard Lewis had something to say (tweet) about the article:

“Remember how I told you 2 years ago there was an inherent issue with sexism at Riot Games and we'd need to wait for the NDAs to start dropping off before the truth come out? Looks like today might be the day.” 

Meagan-Marie tumblr post

Some excerpts:

“Soon I began to notice gendered language regularly being used among male Rioters to insult each other. Guys would tell each other “not to be such a girl” and call one another “p*ssies” quite regularly. They would casually refer to women as “b*tches” and say that “all women were crazy.” I also overheard a group discussing how a female professional made it far in the industry, suggesting she “sucked c*ck to get to the top.”

“I didn’t go out with colleagues after events because strip clubs seemed to be a common destination. Asking me what age I lost my virginity at was deemed appropriate conversation during a team dinner, and employees I didn’t know prodded into how my sex life worked in a long-distance relationship.”

“Rape became a punchline to jokes quite frequently, including one instance where an employee went on for several hours about how he was going to rape his male colleague, who was his hotel roommate. He was graphic in exactly how he was going to rape his roommate, who was a new hire, and it was obvious that the individual in question was extremely uncomfortable.”

“A senior staff member proceeded to repeatedly call me sexist for not being willing to room with a man I’d never met before. At first, I thought he was kidding, but he continued to make arguments to his point. I explained why I would be more comfortable sharing a room with another woman, and told him I wasn’t enjoying the conversation and would leave if I was continued to be called sexist. The conversation continued, with him eventually saying that my unwillingness to room with a man was the same as not hiring a woman due to her gender.”

“I regularly witnessed lewd comments about women passing by at events, discussing their level of attractiveness, whether someone would sleep with them, and guessing if they were the age of consent.”

“At least three times Riot Dublin employees made inappropriate comments via work email about a female cosplayer’s breasts (one they regularly worked with).”

“Cosplayers have also been called “tr*nnies” and “attention whores” by Riot employees at events.”

“In meetings, I was told that we shouldn’t put cosplayers on stage to play League live, because they are mostly women, and therefore not very good at the game.”

If there was any doubt of the validity of these stories, this tweet from Riot Games themselves washed them away:

UPDATE 3: Katie De Sousa tumblr post

“Not too long after I started at Riot, the topic of sexual harassment came up in a conversation among a few Rioters on the art team, I was there, just listening. They were talking about something that had happened to a woman there, and I had no context for it, but was surprised when one of the guys on the team claimed that “she liked the attention”. The subject was then laughed off. I later found out what actually happened, a female employee received super inappropriate texts from a lead. This group of dudebros laughed it off and made her the villain.”

“I also can’t help but think I would have felt more empowered if I wasn’t told by a male coworker that “Women don’t fit into a male hierarchy.” Maybe I would have been more inclined to strive for greatness if I wasn’t dismissively called a “pretty pretty princess” when my first champion, Jinx, did so well (among a bunch of other thinly veiled jealous verbal barbs). I actually went to a lead to express my frustration over this and he said “Yeah I can see why he’s acting like that, I mean I’m kind of jealous too.” What was that about women speaking up again?”

“Not too long into my career one of my male coworkers might have thought he was giving me a compliment when he decided to tell me about how great some of the guys thought my breasts were. I had made the foolish mistake of going to a Riot pool party, wearing a swimsuit, and swimming. I hope I don’t have to explain how violating that felt, at any rate I learned my lesson, and I never attended another.”

“My days might have been a bit easier to manage if I didn’t have to stifle my rage when a male coworker would explain to me how to make designs for women, and how to be a feminist. Realizing that they believe their opinion as a dude meant more than, I don’t know, my entire lifetime of experience as a woman?”

“Even the Riot Dames email group didn’t feel like a safe space, when we were discussing the lack of female characters in esports promos a senior lead decided to chime in and question whether women deserved to be represented, they haven’t really earned it yet, as pro LoL players were all male. Oh, and on the topic of men thinking women are inherently lesser and must prove otherwise, let’s discuss another gross habit: saying “you’re really good at _______ for a chick.””

UPDATE 4: Barry Hawkins blog post

“The sexual references by straight men directly towards other straight men were a more complicated issue. It would often be homosexual in nature, but could also be sexually aggressive toward your significant other. You might be talking to a leader about conflict with a peer, and they’d respond with “man, you’re acting like he had sex with your wife.” Or they might start a paragraph by saying “Now for instance, if I fucked your wife…” and then segue into what they were actually supposed to be saying. The homosexual variants would be things like “well if he sucked your dick, would you feel better about this?” or “it’s not like I’m asking you to suck my dick, but I’d be OK with it if you did.””

“The next day, one of my former direct reports and her direct report, both of whom I was actively mentoring, asked to speak with me as soon as I could. We met up right away, and they were visibly upset. One of them said to me, “There’s a rape joke in some of the recruiting material, and they’re saying it’s something that Brandon said at the offsite. Is that true? Did he say that?”  I think I took a deep breath, followed by a long sigh. It was a simple question, with a simple answer, but with that answer came grave implications.“Yeah, he did.””

“I will never forget changing planes in San Francisco the following Monday. I pulled out my phone to check email, and found replies to the email I sent Brandon, but not only him. My original email had apparently become a thread with some folks in leadership. I recall it mentioning that hyper-sensitive people who didn’t understand intent were a problem we needed to address at Riot. I closed that email thread, and immediately below it there was a meeting invite titled “Riot Voice and Sense of Humor” set for when everyone returned from the company trip. The invite included the co-founders Marc (my boss) and Brandon, the head of Communications, the head of Legal, and myself.”

“The head of Legal did speak up and asked if we were concerned about legal liability. She was seated to my left, and I was seated on Brandon’s left, where he was at the head of table. Brandon extended his arm past me and held up his hand in front of her and hushed her, saying we were not going to talk about that.”

UPDATE 5: Riot Games Apology Statement: Our First Steps Forward

[factsmains]

Spongegar meme creator

UPDATE: It has come to our attention that the history of “tea lizard” is a bit more complicated than previously thought.Ībout six months before GMA’s tweet, Twitter user tweeted a joke about “tea lizard.” He, and many of his followers, tweeted jokes about “tea lizard.” The joke didn’t exactly reach meme proportions, largely staying within his followers. Naturally, the good folks of the internet had a field day of calling out GMA - mainly for not knowing who the fuck Kermit is, but also for apparently THINKING. Or as ready as I’d ever be.The Kermit "but that's none of my business" meme has been around since at least 2014, but it got new life in June when Good Morning America mistakenly (and hilariously) referred to him as "tea lizard." After listening to their setlist a couple of times, I decided on a few favorites: “Red Desert”, “Teeth”, “Disconnected”, and “BLENDER”. They have some pretty popular songs, like “She Looks So Perfect” or “Youngblood”, but in my opinion, some of their better songs are less well-known. Luke is the vocalist, Michael is the guitarist, Calum is the bassist, and Ashton is the drummer. For those who don’t know, 5 Seconds of Summer (5SOS) is a 4 person band. I quickly learned that 5SOS is pretty great, especially their music. I didn’t want to go and not know any songs whatsoever. Throughout the weeks leading up to the concert I was busy studying their music. It was an incredibly impromptu decision, but honestly? That made it so much better. My friend, the one who convinced me to go with her, she asked me to go about two weeks before the actual concert. For example, I’d only ever heard a few 5SOS songs before I hadn’t been listening to them for a year, much less a decade. Some things were more accurate than others. Tuesday, we planned on going to the Grand Canyon extremely early, which meant taking it easy for the rest of the day so we could handle getting up. The rest of the day was mostly dedicated to wandering around downtown yet again. Carolyn, her roommate, Molly, and I all went out for coffee and stopped by Fractured Prune for some of the most delicious donuts. Dutch Bros Coffee, which I had never been to, was donating all profits towards the Second Chance animal shelter. Monday started, as did most of our days, with a stop for our caffeine fix. It was so hot and bright out but it was still cool to get to see, even with all the little tourist shops. Since it was still pretty early in the day, we decided to go to Sedona, where we had planned to go, but didn't have time to, when I was here in January. It's located in the mountains, all the restaurants we visited were good, and there were lots of places to amble. It doesn't take long to fall in love with Flagstaff, at least for me. Our second day, we went to downtown Flagstaff and wandered around all of the stores. The handle jiggles and you are mid SpongeGar stance unsure if you say something, stand there, get dressed or block the door. You are mid change and suddenly someone is standing outside of your dressing room. You hear the storming footsteps coming for you and you realize you never found your floor. Parent told you "a hurricane" came through your room and you need to clean it. Yet again you are binging on Netflix or video games. Could they be your partner for the rest of the semester? Could they drag you down for this assignment? 16. Professor says "Find a partner." This becomes life or death. You are new in class, haven't scoped out a potential friend around you yet or haven't seen a familiar face. "I'll do them after this episode/match" Hours later, you hear the car pull up. You saw the note saying do your chores before I come home. You are sitting on the couch, binging on some Orange is the New Black or COD. Every student pulls out their primitive SpongeGar because nobody is ready for a quiz.

[sagegothel]

SCISSOR SISTERS → STI

TAGGING → Izzie Bash (@izziebash), Tia La Bouff (@tiaisms) & Sage Gothel

TIMELINE → October 5th, 2018

SETTING → Walt U Homecoming Football Game

SUMMARY → After Sage tweets something weird and disappears in the middle of hte game, Tia and Izzie take it upon themselves to go find her. 

Izzie cheered for the football game before her to get her mind off of what was troubling her. The halftime performance was only like, fifteen minutes away and Sage was nowhere to be found. She had been there once, but then she ran off and hadn't come back. Maybe she'd wandered off and fell in a well, or got insecure about Wayland and ran off to torment Meadow some more, or something else dumb. But this was the homecoming game. One of their biggest performances of the year! Why would she miss it? Then Izzie thought about what Meadow had told her, and how down Sage had been feeling, and while she wanted to be a good friend to Meadow, she couldn't help but feel a little bad for Sage. She just hoped she was alright. Izzie walked off to get some water at a nearby cooler and checked her phone for a moment, scrolling through Twitter. Out of curiosity, she searched up @sizzlingsage and quickly unblocked her, relieved that she hadn't been blocked back so she could see her posts, only to be shocked by what she found. The most recent one read "time to go bye bye" with a cryptic scissor emoji. Izzie furrowed her brow, trying to wrack her brain for what that could possibly mean. Sage wasn't the smartest, but her twitter was never so bleak. There was no going back now, Izzie was in full worry-mode. Spotting Tia nearby, Izzie accosted her with the tweet on her screen facing out to her. "Look, I know we hate each other now, and the feeling is definitely mutual, but look at this. Do you know anything about this?" she asked Tia, handing her her phone.

Tia was busy minding her own business stretching out her hamstrings as she prepared herself mentally for Halftime when Izzie came running up to her with a phone in her hand. Tia read the screen for a moment before glancing at Izzie in confusion. "Does she mean she's going to have sex with girls now? Cuz last I checked she and your cousin are still disgusting. But what else could it mean?" She asked, looking back at the phone just as it buzzed with an incoming text message. Tia couldn't help but read the message in the notification bar since it could possibly be clarification from Sage herself, and then immediately blushed when it turned out to be from someone else entirely. "By the way L'ogan really likes your cheer skirt." She giggled, handing her ex-bestie her phone back.

Izzie felt her cheeks go red as Tia recited L'ogan's text to her and snatched her phone back. "No, no one comes out like that. Not even Sage is that dense," Izzie rolled her eyes before exhaling and running a hand through her hair. "I don't know, I just have like...a really bad gut feeling. Vivi-- Meadow," she was quick to correct herself, " -- told me that Sage had been really sad and insecure and annoying lately about her and Wayland, and I dunno, you have Wes and Charlie and the @ pack and I have my new roommates, but I don't know who Sage has been hanging out with. You live with her. Does she seem any different? Lonelier or something?" She didn't want to outright say what she was worried the tweet might mean, and hoped Tia might fill in the blanks without her having to.

Tia shrugged and started to go back to stretching. "I dunno, Charlie came out by having sex with a bunch of people and that's kind of on brand for Sage. As Izzie continued talking, Tia slowly started to understand what she was trying to say. Tia finally stopped worrying about the halftime performance and started thinking hard about Sage's recent behavior. "Gosh, I don't know either. I haven't been paying that much attention to her when i'm not...um keeping her out of my parties. You don't think she's cutting herself like that girl from Netflix, right?" She asked, practically whispering her question in terror as her face paled at the thought.

Izzie cocked a brow, considering that for a second. "Charlie's queer?" she frowned contemplatively, wondering how her gaydar could have been so off about the younger La Bouff. But then she snapped herself out of that, and started focusing on the actual topic here: Sage. "Yeah, Lux told me about your brilliant little plan at that party. You locked her in her own room in her own cottage? How mean." She wasn't really mad at Tia for it, and her tone showed. Tia could do worse. She was moreso thinking like Sage in that situation, and how terrible that must have made her feel. "And I've been calling her stupid to Meadow behind her back...That's not like, mean in person, but it puts out negative energy that I'm sure she had to feel." Izzie gnawed on her bottom lip as Tia voiced exactly what she'd been thinking. "I don't know, maybe? She wouldn't do something like that, do you think? She's not..." Izzie shrugged vaguely, not knowing how to finish that sentence. Instead, she jumped to her next idea. "We need to find her. Like, now. She tweeted this almost ten minutes ago, we could be too late already."

Tia blinked. "No? She's bi." She replied, wondering where in the talk of bi did she get the word queer. "Why's he snitching to you? Sage was mean first and I was mean better." She replied, crossing her arms over her chest a little petulantly before immediately dropping them since now wasn't the time to defend herself. "I don't know what'd she do. On one hand she doesn't seem that Hannah Bakery. But on the other, if Wayland was my only friend i'd go bye bye too." Tia frowned even more when Izzie said they might already bee too late and felt tears quickly begin to well up in her eyes. "Where would she go then? If she walked back to our cottage we could run and try to catch up with her. Would that work?"

Izzie huffed some air out through her cheeks with a roll of the eyes, not exactly in the mood to explain LGBTQ+ labels to Tia, or be offended at the joke she made at her cousin’s expense. She didn’t even want to explain that the only reason Tia thought Sage had been mean first was because she had been standing up for her. This wasn’t the time to fight. It was the time to find Sage. Izzie caught her bottom lip between her teeth, and gave a shrug. She really had no clue. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess we could try? That seems like our best bet,” she nodded, suddenly remembering how that Netflix season ended and got a little queasy. “Come on,” Izzie started for the nearest exit in a light jog so as to not draw too much attention to the two cheerleaders who were ditching the game right before halftime. Just as they passed the bathroom closest to the WU gym, Izzie heard a scream. She sent Tia a worried glance, but didn’t hesitate to barge in.

Sage was so sick of feeling sad and heavy and gross all of the time. She'd tried everything that normally worked to make her feel better already - her super rad diet, cuddling with Wayland, wearing purple, making up new dances - but all of her old tricks seemed to be failing. It seemed that nothing cheered a person up when they suddenly had no friends, and it felt like every time she tried to make a new one, she got shut down. Lux was nice to her, but he had his little demon girlfriend who like, death glared Sage whenever possible. She would have tried to make Freddie be her friend, but Izzie like, beat her to it. She'd even thought maybe Wayland's best friend would be nice to her if she was like, trying to find her a boyfriend too, but apparently being nicer than usual just made people hate Sage more. She wasn't the smart one like Izzie, she wasn't the rich boss-lady one like Tia, and she must not even be the pretty one anymore because nobody seemed to want to be around. Did that make Sage the nothing one? Being the nothing one was sad. Sage had started thinking more and more about just leaving Walt and going back home to her mom. At least Mother Gothel loved her and would never abandon her - she'd been sending her more and more notes inviting her to come back after she'd peaced out during the summer on the worst trip ever, and Sage was mega close to just doing it. She had to try one more thing first, though. A haircut had like, turned Kori's whole life around, even making her little sibling a hottie homecoming queen candidate. And it had made Kori nice to her for the first time ever. So when even cheering at the homecoming game wasn't making Sage happy anymore - the opposite, really; she'd left the field because she'd started to feel her eyes pricking with tears, seeing Izzie and Tia's big smiles and how much they didn't need her and maybe never had - she decided to go ahead and just follow Kori's lead. Maybe a magic hair cut would solve all of her problems, and if it didn't... Well, then maybe more than Sage's hair could go bye bye. She'd tell Wayland she loved him and like, thanks for being the only one who still cared, but that he could be with someone smarter and prettier like Meadow now too and she'd just go back to her tower and leave everyone alone. Sage ran her fingers through her long, dark hair one last time, loving the silky smooth feel of it. Then the used one hand to hold it out to the side, as straight as she could, as she raised the scissors she'd brought to the bathroom with her other hand and snipped. It took a minute for Sage to process what she was seeing in the mirror. The messed up make up and tear streaked face were nothing new, but she let the clump of short hair fall back to her head as she clutched inches and inches of detached hair in her fist, and blinked in horror before letting out a blood-curdling scream.

Tia glanced at Izzie at the exact same time as she glanced at her and burst into the bathroom with her. Immediately she felt relief at seeing Sage clearly not dead and then let out a bloodcurdling scream as she realized what was happening with Sage's head. Other than purple, long mermaid like hair was major Sage iconography. "What happened to your head!?" She screeched, running over like Sage really did have a razor blade jammed in her wrist and threw the scissors across the room before surveying the hair damage up close.

Izzie didn’t know exactly what she was looking at when she came into the bathroom. It wasn’t until she saw the clumps of hair detached from Sage’s body did she bring the palm of her hand to her mouth with a gasp. She followed behind Tia, coming up on Sage with a more calm demeanor — she didn’t want to scare her when she was clearly already disturbed. “What Tia means to say is....Why are you cutting your hair and why are you doing it in a bathroom at a football game? Rapunzel’s like, totally has a homecoming discount right now.” She took Sage’s chopped ends into her hands and fluffed them out to survey the damage. She was glad that Sage seemed to be okay, but then remembered that that girl from the show had also cut her hair. It was one of those things that people sometimes did when they wanted to feel something. “Are you....okay?” Izzie asked tenderly, combing her fingers through Sage’s longer strands.

Sage didn't know how long she screamed for before Izzie and Tia barged into the bathroom. It could have been five seconds or it could have been five years; time felt all blurry and weird to Sage, and she was pretty sure she had to be hallucinating now anyway. Tia and Izzie would never have come to search for her, especially not together, and Sage sniffled, the tears starting again as she realized how sad that made her. The two girls were the best thing that had ever happened to her, and she apparently missed them so much that she was seeing them where they couldn't possibly be. Except the scissors skittering across the floor sounded real, and the feel of Izzie's fingers felt real, too. And when she looked in the mirror they were actually in the reflection with her, too, and Sage took a minute to stop her chest from heaving with quiet sobs before she said anything. "No," she wailed, calm enough to talk but still not as calm as she would have liked to have been. "I look like weirdo punk rock Avril Lavigne got hit by a weed whacker or something!" she said, looking at her hair in horror before looking at the two of them. She didn't know if she was really supposed to answer Izzie's other questions; they might be here now, but if she said she wasn't okay because she missed them, she risked them telling her that they didn't miss her at all. Maybe they were only here because they needed to pee or because she was messing up the homecoming cheer routine, and she bit on her lip. "I don't know, a hair cut made Kori way more likeable, I thought I could like... try it or something," she replied, blinking her eyes until they felt dryer. "And Rapunzel's is still expensive, so like... sorry?" she trailed off lamely.

Tia felt terrible watching Sage cry like that, especially with most of her hair gone, she felt like she was watching the most surreal and terrible production of Les Mis ever. She wanted to hug her so bad that it only took half a second of wondering if that was appropriate before she actually did it. "You totally look worse than that, oh my god." Tia said, crying into Sage's shoulder before sobbing even harder because it had been so long since the last time they had hugged last and Sage was usually her favorite shoulder to cry on so there was like a weird Pavlovian effect happening there too. "You didn't have to wreck your head to be more likable, you're so great. And also please don't kill youself because your hair is bad and you don't have friends because I locked you in your room. You're like the best person ever and I'm sorry that you didn't feel like it enough to risk ruining your hair like this. It's all me and Izzie's fault!" She ramble wailed at Sage, lacking every bit of the ability Sage had at eventually composing herself. So Tia was still crying like a crazy person when she pulled away from hugging Sage to look at her hair again. "I think I could probably even it out to look cute enough until we can book you an appointment at Rapunzel's. Would that be okay?"

Izzie caught her bottom lip between her teeth, biting back tears as she watched Sage sob and heard Tia totally not help that fact as she sobbed too. "No, you look fine! It's just shorter, and hair always grows back, and me and T have had bobs and they're super cute!" she tried. But then Tia went on her big mess of a ramble, and Izzie's quivering lower lip finally gave way to tears, too. "It's so our fault. I should never have told you about ViviMeadow and Wayland. It was so mean and dumb and Wayland totally has so many reasons to like you better, because you're amazing." What she'd said to Sage that day in Tennessee had haunted her for months, she was so glad to get it off of her chest that she didn't really think Wayland had no reasons to like her. She leaned her head on Sage's other shoulder and sobbed, letting it finally hit her how much she missed being with the two of them. She hadn't smelled the combination of all three of their perfumes in so long, when she inhaled the realization only made her cry harder. Pulling away, she nodded frantically in agreement with Tia. "Yeah! This could be like, a lob! Those look good on everyone," Izzie sniffled, tucking a few strands behind Sage's ear before looking at the three of them -- three sobbing messes -- in the mirror. She picked up the scissors and handed them to Tia, not knowing how to voice what she wanted so badly to say. "I'm so glad we found you," she gave Sage's shoulders a squeeze. "I um....kind of really miss you guys. Like, what happened in Tennessee still hurts when I think about it, but feeling like we're never going to be friends again hurts even more."

Sage 's mouth parted slightly in confusion when Tia told her not to kill herself, of all things. She knew that her eating habits sometimes were so not a good idea and might like, end up with that happening to her, but she'd never tried to hurt herself like that on purpose. She was too happy that Tia and Izzie were here and crowding around her like they used to before to even care if that was the only reason they'd come looking, though. Sage wrapped her arms around both of them, not wanting to let them get too far away from her ever again. "I'm so not going anywhere now," she promised, tears streaming down her cheeks again. This time they were happy ones, though; she'd never felt as much relief as she felt knowing that they didn't still hate her after all, and that maybe things were actually going to be okay. "I was like, thinking about just leaving Walt forever and going back to my tower or something, if I was going to be locked in places anyway, but I like it here so, so much better. You know, with you guys," Sage said, her voice watery from all the crying. She probably looked like a raccoon now on top of the butt-ugly hair, but she could be the most hideous person in the whole universe right now and Sage thought maybe that would be okay as long as Tia and Izzie didn't leave. "Are you guys sure?" she asked them hopefully, not sure if she was asking about them fixing her hair or about whether they actually still loved her.

Tia tried wiping at her eyes and nodded in agreement with Izzie. "Yeah, it's so our fault. I should've never been so mean to you for standing up for Izzie or to Izzie for sleeping with Huntley when i was the one keeping secrets in the first place. You guys are the bestest best friends in the world and i'm so so sorry I made you both feel like you weren't." She cried, moving to hug Izzie too. She arguably owed Izzie way more than a teary apology and a one armed hug because she still wasn't ready to let go of Sage yet, but that was what she had right then and she hoped it would do for now. "Oh my gosh, I know I didn't act like it but I would've missed you so so much if you'd gone back to your tower. It was supes cray cray of me to lock you up like that and I can't even say i'm sorry enough for that but please be my friend again anyway?" Taking the scissors from, Izzie and stepped back a bit to get a better look at Sage's hair then went to comb all the way through it with her fingers before she began cutting. "I'm so sure. Your face will look so skinny and cute with a really good lob. After a while you'll forget you even had all that hair." Tia promised, glancing into the sink sadly.

Izzie probably would have jumped back into STI even if she hadn't gotten an official apology from Tia, but the fact that she did just made things so much better. It showed that her friends really missed her as much as she'd missed them. "I'm sorry for calling you a spoiled brat, you're just rich! That doesn't make you a bad person." Izzie gave a large squeeze when Tia reached across Sage and hugged her, too, blubbering mascara tears onto Sage's neck. Cheer makeup was so not made for crying sessions. "Never ever ever go back to your tower forever. You belong here, with us," Izzie said tenderly, clutching Sage's hand in her own as she watched Tia start to trim. "Yeah, and besides, hair always grows back. For now, this is just something fresh and new and exciting and it'll be great." So maybe she wasn't talking about Sage's haircut anymore, but Izzie loved a good metaphor.

Sage blinked her still watery eyes. Was she supposed to say it was her fault now, too? Both of them were blaming themselves, and she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat from crying. "I'm so sorry, I should have figured out a better way to be good friends to both of you guys instead of like, picking a side," she said finally. She had felt bad, seeing the look on Tia's face when she'd defended Izzie over her. Tia had always done so much to make her life better, and she'd acted like one friend was more important than the other. So not cool. "And I'm super sorry for getting mad at you about Vivdow or whatever her name is now," she added to Izzie. "It was super not fair, I know that like, you guys have known her longer and stuff." It was hard for her to get it, since she'd only had Baz and Kori growing up, but she was trying. She was going to try so, so hard to make sure nothing like this ever, ever happened again. "My tower's super lonely, I would have missed you guys so much. Even just like, seeing you guys at cheer practice when you weren't talking to me was the best part of my day," Sage admitted, holding her breath as Tia and Izzie fussed over her hair. The snip of the scissors almost made her flinch again, but this time she was in good hands -- Tia's instead of her own, and she let out a breath of relief when she noticed that all the same length, her hair didn't look nearly as chunky and stupid as it had when she'd only hacked off part of it. "You guys are my favorite people in the whole wide world," Sage told them, trying not to start crying again -- happy tears this time. She didn't want to jerk around and mess up her hair more, but she had a feeling even if she walked out of this bathroom the ugliest girl in Walt, it wouldn't matter to her as long as she had Tia and Izzie by her side.

[followmyshadcw]

this took too long to post.

So, I’ve changed my blog. Again. No longer am I trekking through the depths of Tinder wondering if my soulmate is buried within the hoards of fuckboys and unsolicited dick pics. After a months or so dealing with heartbreak and wondering where my single life was going to take me, I found this honest-to-God wonderful man and now I hope that I don’t screw it all up as I am notorious for doing so. However, I will still be writing occasionally on here whenever I feel the inspiration to do so. Which is why I’m posting today in this fashion, to tell you about my Tinder date that was a complete disaster. It was about a couple of months ago so I don’t remember some of it. But the things I do remember.... shit, y’all. This guy was an absolute charmer. 

Sarcasm aside, let’s dig in. Thank God I tweeted some of this mishap of a date to refresh some of my memory, because I’ve apparently repressed the majority of what this guy said to me. First off, let’s call this guy... Richard, because he was a real Dick. Second, don’t judge me for being so patient with him and not immediately running away. I wanted to, trust me, but I’m too nice for my own good. 

So, it started off fine. He was a tad late to meeting me at the theme park where our date was to take place, but it was fine. Things happen, and I’m not a person who goes berserk about someone being a little late somewhere. Unless it’s for something important, but this wasn’t. First impressions are important, but this was a Tinder date. Was I supposed to expect something different? Anyway, the date started off great. We began talking and learning more about one another, the usual. 

Speaking about learning more about each other, one thing you should know is that I was a cheerleader for seven years and before that, I was a dancer for the same amount of time. I informed him of this, and he proceeded to tell me that neither of those were actual sports. First sign of who I was dealing with. As we were bickering about why dancing/cheerleading should or should not be regarded as sports, he then confesses (not knowingly that he has done so, and that I’ve caught him) that he has seen both on ESPN. Now, I am a person who sometimes can’t hold her tongue so I quickly retort with, “Well, if they’re on ESPN, they must be a sport since that is a sports channel.” Needless to say, I won that battle. 

Now, this next segment of the date either happened before or after that sports argument, I really can’t remember, but it gave me the creeps either way. The topic of discussion went to more adult than what I preferred, and I feel like I should have stopped talking about it all with him way before I did tell him I wasn’t comfortable. But he started asking me things like “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done [talking about sexual encounters]” or “have you ever had a threesome” or “do you swallow”. I am not joking, these were all questions. Sorry if you’re offended by any of that, but think how it felt to be asked those question in persons. Not the best feeling to say the least. We were in line for one of my favorite rides and the queue for it is pretty dark, and while we were line, he tries to kiss me. No, no, Richard. You should be reading my body posture just fine right now to think to yourself, “wow she’s uncomfortable. I should stop.” But, no. He successfully kisses me, and tries AGAIN when we were waiting to get on the ride. I tell him I didn’t want to kiss him, and I know that offended him. But do/did I care? Negative, Ghost Rider. 

Once again, my time frame of when everything was said and done is all screwed up since I’ve tried to forget this date ever happened, but there was one thing that he told me that confuses me still to this day. I think this was actually said right before our discussion of whether or not dancing and cheerleading were sports, but I’m trying to write this before going into work so I don’t have time to change the order of the paragraphs. And frankly, I’m writing this in the order of how I’m remembering it. Anyway, Richard told me that I looked very different from my profile. How... am I supposed to take that? I get it, though. My profile picture has me with my makeup and hair done since it was taken at my sister’s wedding (it’s the same photo I’m using for my pic on here just throwing that out there), and I did come to this date with hardly any makeup and my hair up in a messy bun. Why, you may ask yourselves. Why did I come to a date like this? Because it’s hot as balls outside in Florida, and I’m not about my sweat making it seem like my skin is melting as my makeup drips off my face. But I ask him if it’s a good or bad thing that I looked different, and he said neither. What. Do. You. Mean. Neither?? I asked him to explain, and he responds with, “you have to earn that answer.” I could only guess what he meant by that. He also kept telling me to stop lying to him. For example, when asking me if my eye color was real, I told him that I had contacts him but it was my eye color... he called me a liar. He continued to “jokingly” call me a liar, and it was absolutely perplexing why he would do that. 

Once again (I don’t know how many times I have to say this tbh), my memory of this disaster date is absolutely atrocious so when I say that I don’t remember what provoked Richard to say this last thing to me, I just can’t. I have tried so many times to recall what I said for him to say this last thing to me, but it has been lost. I was so uncomfortable at this point that I really just wanted to bolt and not tell him good bye. From the very beginning of this date, I lied and notified him that I had plans afterwards with a friend. I just didn’t want the date to last longer than it should or wind up somewhere I didn’t want it to wind up. But when I brought that up again as we were leaving and his final attempt to get in my pants, he told me he didn’t care about what plans I had with my friends and that they would get over it. I can’t tell if he was joking or not, but I made some comment, the comment that I can’t remember to provoke him to say, “No wonder you’re single.” If I were an absolute bitch and thought this reply on the spot rather than much later when I was venting to my roommate, I would have said, “No wonder you’re 29 and still on Tinder.” Instead, I replied, “And no wonder we’re never going to see each other again.” Only because he kept expressing how we were never going to see each other after our date, and my blood was boiling at that point. Especially since I had been broken up with like a couple of weeks prior. 

But, yeah. That’s the long, over-due story of my Tinder date that I hinted I would write a while back. I didn’t have that much time to proofread it so I apologize if there are a plethora of errors. I feel like there was so much more to the date that I’m not remembering, but those were the ones that really stood out to me after a couple of months. Thank you for reading it this far, and I hope y’all have a great day!

[creativeashproductions]

Divulge // Grayson

Summary: Grayson and you are secretly dating and decide to announce it in the latest video but how will your protective older brother, Jc Caylen react to the news?

Characters: Grayson Dolan x Caylen!Reader, Ethan Dolan, Jc Caylen, and Kian Lawley.

Words: 3385

Disclaimer: I do not own any images used, songs or YouTube.

Warnings: Swearing, fluff and angry Jc Caylen

Author: Caitsy

Tagging: At the end.

A/N: This is a long ass one but I hope whoever requested this really enjoys and apparently the fics aren’t showing up in tags. I apologize for that.

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It was hard to date someone well-known on YouTube; you were doing so secretly for both your safety and not wanting to hurt his fans. Grayson was always going on about how they would be happy for him being in a relationship with someone that respects his dedication to his fans. It caused a rift between you guys until he finally saw how passionate you were to being kind to his fans given that you were a fan too. Ethan was one hundred percent standing behind your relationship especially since he shipped your relationship from the beginning.

“Do you want pancakes?” Grayson asked from beside you on the couch. You lived in LA like him but you didn’t live with him even though you were over a lot.

You lived close by them with your older brother and his roommate, having moved roughly around the same time as the twins. Your brother and his friend had a YouTube together with a following that came mainly from their time in O2L before they broke up. Jc Caylen was your brother and Kian Lawley had grown to be your older brother too.

“No.” You wrinkled your nose. Both Ethan and Grey were confused as you shared a love of pancakes like them.

“You love pancakes.” Ethan said staring at you.

“Not since Jc pranked me. He wiped off my whip cream and managed to trick me into believing that it was whip cream but it was toothpaste.”

Both Ethan and Grey blinked before laughing in sync imaging the sheer disgust you would have displayed. They were right because you had viciously smacked your brother once you got the awful taste out of your mouth. Jc was brilliant and hilarious pretty much everyday since you could remember.


“In Amsterdam?” Gray asked still chuckling.

Your brother was still close with the former members of O2L, he was doing videos and with living Kian while also collaborating with the former members. Through Jc you became well acquainted with them too, you weren’t surprised when Sam and Rosa sent a wedding invitation. You went with Kian and Jc without the Dolan twins because it wasn’t encouraged to bring a plus one and nobody but Ethan knew about your relationship. Not to mention they had to film and edit a video while you were in a different country.

“Yeah.” You scrunched your nose up, “The taste of pancakes makes me feel ill now.”

“How did he managed that? Wasn’t he with the boys and you with the girls?”

“I spent my nights with them and the days with Rosa. Jc didn’t want me in another country away from him. He thought I would be hooking up with people. Which I didn’t do.”

“Well I can make you waffled if you want.” Grans said already getting up.

“I’ll help.” You announced standing up also.

“Please don’t fuck in there.” Ethan asked pulling Snapchat up on his phone.

“Come on Babe.” Gray said grabbing your hand. You smiled watching his back as he dragged you into the kitchen.

You walked in silence as you thought about what made your boyfriend the most happy in the world. Fans made him happy, his brother made him happy and making people laugh too. You also knew that while he had a private life that involved you he also felt guilty of hiding your relationship. You did too because nobody other than Ethan knew and it kept eating at you.

“Hey Gray?” You asked. He hummed in acknowledgement, “Do you want to tell the fans about us?”

Gray dropped the whisk in shock as he turned around to see your expression so he could check if you were joking or not. When you had your one year anniversary he had asked about telling people but you had been scared causing a fight between the two of you for a short period of time.

“Are you sure?” He questioned coming to wrap his arms loosely on your waist looking down at you. You had to tilt your head up to meet his eyes.

“We’ve been hiding it for a year and a half, almost two years now.” You replied placing your hands on his chest, “I want to tell my family without fear of them spilling it to people.”

“It would be nice to tell my family and show you off.”

You grinned coming to an agreement to reveal your relationship to the world sometime close with the help of Ethan probably. You could feel the excitement rolling off Gray’s body, the giddy feeling causing you two to dance around while making the waffled. You laid out glasses to be filled with either orange juice, milk or water.

“What’s got you two so happy?” Ethan asked coming into the kitchen with damp hair.

“We’re going to announce our relationship.” Gray grinned in happiness.

“What brought this decision on?” Ethan asked leaning against the counter.

“He’s technically lying to everyone.” You said, “Plus I want my friends and family to know.”

“So I’m the only one that knows and you have been together almost two years now?” Ethan asked surprised, “Not even Jc?”

“No. When he got his wisdom teeth out he spilled secrets of mine which thankfully didn’t make it into the video.” You sighed.

“How are you going to tell everyone?”

“Snapchat is too short and twitter isn’t a smart idea especially after your reactions to choking. the title daddy and the fear you now have of looking at those comments.”

“I’m not uncomf-”

“Daddy-“ You stated looking at your boyfriend with a straight face only to be cut off.

“No!” Both Ethan and Gray exclaimed cringing in unison.

“That’s weird to hear from my brother’s girlfriend.” Ethan shuddered shaking his head.

“Video!” Grayson yelled. Both Ethan and him beamed at the idea, “We could mention news at the beginning and then at the end announce it!”

“Tease a couple pictures and use lyrics to throw the fans off and get more to watch the video!”

“It would be cute…” You trailed off, “It could be another way to tell our family too so we don’t keep repeating ourselves.”

You were really excited to see how it would turn out especially with your protective older brother. Jc had Kian to help him beat up Grayson if he felt like it and your Dad may side with them instead. Mom would probably be excited since the Dolans were nice to you and your family.

“Well I tweeted and so did E.” Gray announced shoving his phone back into his pocket.

You pulled your phone out to see the tweets that the boys had sent out and the already frantic comments going off. More than a few calling the boys ‘daddy’ and other dirty things that made you cringe. You decided on a simple tweet with lyrics to throw all the fans off because you didn’t want them to know that you were going to be in the video at some point. You smirked typing your favourite lyrics from Ed Sheeran’s song ‘Thinking out Loud’. You wondered if anyone would figure it out but you were confident that they wouldn’t figure out why you were all tweeting vague things.

“Do you think they’ll figure it out?” You questioned.

“I don’t think so.” Ethan said, “Nobody’s said if you were together or not so far.”

“Tell me when you want to film.” You told them.

“Uh…the waffled are burnt.” Grayson said looking at the where he had finished making the waffles, “How about we go out for breakfast and post a picture on Instagram. I can say something for breakfast and you could do a coffee date picture.”

It took longer than you would like to admit so Gray and you could make it look like you were not in the same place. You were happy with the picture you posed on your Instagram for your followers to look at and make theories on.

Looking through the comments you saw that Ethan had helped you out by making a joking comment.

‘So you decided to ditch me for a coffee date with that mysterious boyfriend. Gray’s getting breakfast with one of our friends…you guys left me sleeping and I feel alone.’

You chuckled showing Gray what his twin had said on your post finding it amusing how Ethan was rooting for you. Ethan was the largest shipper of the relationship that you were always expecting him to have made t-shirts for it. He had pushed Gray to ask you out almost two years ago which melted your heart when he explained how he had asked you out on Valentine’s Day.

“I feel bad for the fans.” You muttered playing with your fingers before snapping a picture of your drinks and then taking a sip of your hot coffee.

“I know. I feel the same as you do.” Gray admitted too, “We should make some general rules for public.”

“For the happiness of the fans we should keep kissing to a minimal and only hand holding for awhile to get them used to this.”

“Don’t act like a lovesick puppy. We shouldn’t act different than what we do now.”

“I think that’s it.” You mumbled trying to think of anything else.

“So we’re pretty much still hiding our love?” Gray asked as he stirred his coffee to his satisfaction.

“I want to respect your fans which means not being overly affectionate.”

“I wish we could be more open.” He admitted bringing his coffee to his mouth savouring the taste of smell of the drink.

“I do too.” You muttered, “Put your coffee down, I want to take a picture for our video.”

Gray put his coffee down before pulling you into his side as you clicked the button getting one of your favourite pictures of the two of you. He pressed a kiss to your cheek as you did so making you blush and grin at the same time. You heard a collective aw from the side where you saw an older couple shamelessly staring at you two.

“Remember that day we took a picture to announce our relationship?” The blonde female asked her significant other.

Grayson and you looked at each other with smiles when you were the ones to bring the couple good memories. Maybe someday in the future you would be in their position with another younger couple doing the same to you. That is is if you got the gift of spending the rest of your life with Grayson Dolan.

“We should leave them to breakfast.” The red head female said to the blonde.

“Sorry to interrupt your date.” The  blonde woman said, “I’m Shelley and this is my wife Lisbon.”

“I’m Y/N, this is my boyfriend Grayson.” You smiled towards the other couple that were holding hands on the table. They both shared a smile before looking back at you two.

“Grayson Dolan and Y/N Caylen right? Our youngest takes the family computer every Tuesday to watch your videos Grayson.” Lisbon chuckled, “We may have to get her a computer for her fourteenth birthday.”

“We can make a video if you want or you can give us your number so we can FaceTime her as long as you delete our contact after.” Gray smiled.

“In exchange can you keep our relationship a secret? We’re going to surprise everyone with a video.”

Lisbon and Shelley shared a look before asking to take a picture pulled out a nice looking camera that was obviously professional. Both Gray and you were hesitant to agree but when your food was placed in front of you they both got up. Shelley, using the utensils, changed the layout while Lisbon took your phone next.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“You looked nervous so we’ll take the picture so you can tease your date. We have our own photography business. Shelley sets up props and I take the pictures for clients. I’m going to take one professionally also.”

Within second they had a tumblr worthy photo that Gray had dibbed to put on his account the moment he took a look at it. The even handed a business card over with all the information to get into contact for any future needs.

“What are we doing for the video?” You questioned after start to eat your food once you had exchanged goodbyes with the couple. You had decided to leave the ideas for the video up to the boys because in the end it was their video and you wouldn’t be in it the whole time.

“Either just an announcement video or we google ourselves.” Gray shrugged.

“Google!” You exclaimed, “One of the recommended questions will be if your single.”

Gray grinned reaching over to squeeze your hand in thanks before he pulled up his messages with Ethan on his phone. You had thought they would have picked an idea already to do because they would need to start filming soon.

“He likes the idea.” Gray said locking his phone.

“Well we’re back now!” Ethan announced happily after helping Gray, “Alright this week…fuzz…we’re googling ourselves and we have a surprise so stay with us to the end.”

“And a guest as Ethan said in a tweet.” Gray said glancing at you before returning his attention to the camera.

You were in the kitchen typing on your computer instead of helping them, you liked to watch the videos on the day they came out. Yet you closed the computer when Gray tilting his head to come closer once they had some footage already.

“Does Grayson Dolan have a tattoo? I have a few tattoos yeah.” He said glancing at the camera before looking down at the phone again, “Does Grayson Dolan have glasses? Does Grayson Dolan have a kid? I don’t believe so.”

“What do you mean you don’t believe so?” Ethan questioned surprised before looking at you behind the camera. You knew they were acting this out but he looked genuinely confused.

“I don’t know. A bunch of people keep calling me ‘Daddy’ and stuff.”

“That’s not what they mean.” Ethan said to his brother whom was also acting. You watched as Ethan gestured to Grayson before making a weird slurping sound being his hand and Grayson acting disgusted.

“Does Grayson Dolan have a kick? No.” He blankly said, “Does Grayson Dolan have a girlfriend? Ha!”

You shorted once more at his antics while Ethan looked at you trying not to give anything away by being heard in the video. You were having a lot of trouble seeing as all their videos were completely hilarious to you.

“Does Grayson Dolan have a purity ring?”

Ethan scoffed at the question confirming that his twin didn’t need to have a purity ring since you had been dating for a long time. You were definitely intimate with your boyfriend even if it was hard to get alone time with your secret relationship. You zoned out thinking when you two first slept together on the cliche six month anniversary.  

“Is-” You chuckled before returning the kitchen to her your computer and bringing it back to the living room.

While they continued to shoot their video you settled in the chair across from where they were so you could watch your boyfriend do what he loves. You had your headphones in listening to music while you typed more about your story. You phone went off with a text from your brother.

“Oh fuck!” You burst out falling on the ground as he sent another one to you.

“Babe? Are you okay?” Gray asked concerned.

“Jc sent me memes again.” You choked crawling over to show them the memes. They really only found one of them hilarious but they didn’t share your brothers humour.

“Well can you join us?” He asked as you wiped the tears away and shoved your phone into your pocket.

“Okay so we have an announcement but we need help. Ethan said as you stood up once more and came into the frame. Ethan got out of his chair to drag the one of frame in view of the camera once the chairs were pushed back a little.

“This is our friend Y/N!” Gray smiled as you settled into the chair that Ethan had vacated.

“Hi.” You awkwardly waved to the camera earning laughs from your boyfriend and his brother.

“You’re so awkward!” Gray laughed poking you in the side.

“Stop!” You squealed pushing his hands away.

“Guys stop!” Ethan chuckled finally getting you to pay attention for the video and not torturing each other.

“So you guys are wondering why she’s here. Well the news is that this sweet girl is my girlfriend and I’m unbelievably happy to call her mine.” Gray grinned looking over at you with clear adoration in his eyes that you reciprocated.

“You guys probably knew before he said anything because of this.” You said raising your intertwined hands, “I’m going to settle this. We’ve been dating for well over a year but in public we won’t be overly affectionate out of respect for you guys. I respect that there’s more than just me in his heart.”

“She refuses to watch footage before you guys since she started out as a fan.”

“Oh and to our families, we’re sorry for not sharing our relationship with you.” You smiled.

“Please don’t send them hate because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is our families and them.” Ethan said scratching the back of his hand.

“Just be happy for us.” Grayson smiled as Ethan dramatically unplugged his phone to the horror of Grayson.

You watched as they scrambled to see if it had deleted after Ethan had unplugged it. Ethan’s stupid idea to do so almost ruining the footage would have caused you to refilm and you really didn’t want that. You however laughed as your boyfriend smacked the shit of his twin as punishment before getting back into his chair.

“Ethan almost deleted all of the footage from the video.”

“Is Ethan Dolan an idiot?” Ethan rhetorically asked.

“Yes.” You looked at him blankly getting a light shove from him.

Your focus was interrupted as the boys shared words as you chuckled at their antics.

“Bye internet! I have to post some sneaky photos I took of them. Prepare to see the Dolan twins in their natural habitat of an apartment.” You grinned as you scrambled back to your computer and out of their reach. The boys quickly did their outtro before trying to stop you from sending them.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Gray said wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck.

“Wait for Jc to find out”

“Y/N Y/M/N Caylen!” Jc’s astounded voice exclaimed on Tuesday as he stormed into your bedroom.

“Yes?” You asked.

“Call that fucker over now.”

“Who?”

“Grayson. Do it now.”

“He’s busy.” You replied turning your attention back to your book.

“Why are you dating him? Why did you keep it a secret?” Jc rapid fired the questions at you giving you barely any chance to comprehend the questions.

“I’m dating him because I love him and it’s because we were nervous of getting hate and upsetting the fans.” You explained, “We decided it was worth it.”

“So you’re the reason Grayson’s brother scoffed at the purity ring question?”

“Yes Jc. Grayson and I have slept together.”

“I’m going to kill the bastard.” Jc growled.

“Who?” Kian asked as he came into your room.

“Grayson Dolan. He’s dating her and he’s fucked her.”

“We’re killing him.” Kian agreed quickly, “I bet if we told Sam he would be here quickly to help us even if he’s on his honeymoon.”

“Don’t kill him! I love him plus we’ve been together for almost two years!”

“What? How did we not know?” Kian asked Jc.

“Hate and we weren’t sure if it was a smart idea to tell the fans given how dedicated they are.”

“I hate him.” Jc growled.

“Go film your video idiot and leave Gray alone.”

“Fine!”

You pulled out your phone to text Gray.

He watched the video and he was pissed. He might punch with along with Kian but they won’t kill you.

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