#my reward will be a painful next chapter because thats all i know

[dingdongitsbees]

hello 🧍🏻‍♀️

"But he hadn’t run from you. He had slowed his pace, so his strides were parallel with yours, keeping the beats of your feet and hearts together in time." THIS LIKE RIGHT HERE MA'AM WHAAAAAT WHAT THE ACTUAL FOCK BEE I- PLS your writing in this last chapter was just simply beautiful I can't 😭😭😭

"but you held him tighter and tighter like you were squeezing everything bad out of him, like if you held him hard enough your love would make him go deaf."  and this one has my whole heart 😭 no but fr the sob that ripped out of me i- pls im gonna think of these lines for a long looooong time bee 😭😭😭 it fkin hurt to see levi like that and I just- god I'm not ready for what's gonna come after this quarter quell 😭 if they ever do end up hating one another I'd die fr

and also the way you ended the chapter sobsob when he just passed out in the readers arms bro- 😭 "He wasn’t enough to dull the pain, but he was enough to make it worth it." that was just- wow my heart hurts sm because of this.

also omgg that one scene w the titan looming over the reader while she was trying her best pretending to be asleep... bro that shit scared the f out of me I read it last night and it was past 3 and I just-couldn't sleep after that 💀

ALSO thank you sm for writing,, the chapters were soo long and just- woah I can't even-I hope you're taking care of yourself and hope uni isn't going that rough on you!! hope you have a good day/night ahead ily bee!! <3

hi 🧍‍♀️

AHHH THANK YOU i was like how pretentious can we get just about running but im glad it worked lmao 😭😭😭 i must abuse every possible metaphor into a discussion of their relationship for some reason

and i really love that part 😭😭😭 im really leaning into the love cant solve everything concept lol but its just so painful cause you just become so desperate for an easy answer, and just despise that loving someone wont just fix all their problems even though thats so obvious, and that often times you can be their problem whilst you are loving them, and that can be the problem within itself. just UGH PAIN

i just :’) levi... hes such a broken boy i just want to hold him :’)

titan was the kid asking if you have games on your phone just 👁️👄👁️ watching and waiting, for what? who knows. and oml i actually have such a fear of there being someone standing over me when i close my eyes my brain is just like what if someone was there right now, but if you open your eyes to check they could attack you, so im just freaking out in my bed why am i like this

and thank you for reading them truly and have a good day or else 👹 and i may or may not be putting off two assignments by writing the next chapter but we dont need to talk about that.

[jess-emurphy]

List of things the live action adaptation of Alice in Boderland missed out on that doesn't change the grand plot of things but were pretty neat and I wish they were there. This manga is one if my top five favourites so I'm incredibly passionate about it and anaylse it to shit

These are spoilers for the manga if you want to read the first arc but I will only discuss things that affect season 1 of the show and up to that point in the manga (where the face cards are revealed). Again, these really do not affect the plot considering the show got to the face cards just fine without changing anything major.

I read the manga back when I was like 15? I was in high school and used to read it during classes and was sobbing onto my maths notebook during the seven of hearts game.

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Okay this wasn't a live action thing but in the manga, when Chishiya took down his hood and we saw his face, the comments were calling him ugly 😭😭😭 it was funny as fuck and I'll never forget it.

At the end of the seven of hearts game, Arisu's reward for winning was mutton chops. He burns the whole building down.

Arisu was still in high school in the manga (or at least, just out of it) and Karube actually has to keep telling him and Chota off for drinking at his bar.

The show really missed out on showing Tatta (the man in the cap) and his arc of being a scared young adult who's friend is murdered in front of him, nearly extracting revenge on the man (Last Boss) who did it before deciding he would rather let Last Boss slowly die in a painful way to the fire and save his own humanity. And that was pretty cowardly of them 😤

Aguni getting his scars from the tiger.

Phones work in the world. They aren't used the way the show does. Chishiya actually charges his to listen to music and someone remarks "did that guy join this game just to charge his phone? Ballsy"

Arisu telling Hatter that the seven of hearts card is Usagi's so she could be a higher number rank because he believes shes more deserving of going home.

Arisu using his ability to pretend to not be there like he does in front of his family to hide from the tagger and slow his breathing down.

Chishiya's monologue about why he chose the top floor of the apartment building, show casing how smart he is but not willing to give anyone else that tip.

The part where Chishiya has to pick up all the cards he threw and Mira comes over like "yo i'll help short ass" 😩

The first game was actually set in a festival setting where their goal was to answer questions.

The tunnel game set in the highway did not include Usagi or Arisu. It was a side chapter featuring a new guy who's motive to survive was to get back to his girlfriend who had only ever been abused by men. He didn't want to die because if he did, she would think he left her just like every other man in her life and it was actually very heart breaking. The game itself was fairly the same except the end part was a bomb, not a flood.

During when Hatter is shot, Number Two disappears and is presumed dead. In the show, he's alive. And in the manga he was Number Three.

Aguni was Number Two. There was no voting in the manga, he was just automatically Number One.

Asahi in the manga, while feling guilty, allows the witch hunt game to go on because she despisea how humans have become, killing each other mercilessly. She only ever sacrifices herself because Arisu gave her hope that there is good people.

Usagi hanging onto the side of the hotel, back fliping off, catching the ledge and kicking a man unconcious who was standing by the open window.

In the tagger game in the show, the twist was there was a second tagger. In the manga, the twist was that there was a second gun. Karube got injured because he jumped off the side of the building, caught the ledge but fucked up his stomach.

Aguni was never in that game. He never met Karube or Arisu before.

This one I can't remember completely but I believe Karube finds out about the beach via a car radio.

In the manga Arisu never got to see Karube one last time.

Shibuki's three of hearts game where she essentially gave up, was willing to die but that in fact saved her life.

Thee game where Arisu proves himself worthy to An happened without Arisu. That scene was there to actually show case An's intelligence all on her own.

In the manga, we actually get to see what type of games everyone specialises in. Arisu specialises in hearts, Usagi spades, Hatter spades, Kuina clubs and Chishiya diamonds, to name a few.

In the manga, Arisu played one other hearts game before the beach (this could be wrong but the actual chapters never stated a timeline). It was a four of hearts.

DOUDOU? WHERE IS MY BOY DOUDOU? The live action really said fuck Doudou he doesn't get to be in this sorry.

Tatta's Lamborghini and him being a mad man, driving it around 😭 as he should

Kuina showing off her boobs to the men because they were being transphobic 😤

Between the ten of hearts and the arrival of the face cards, three days passed. During these three days, the characters partied, did golf, goofed around, tried to enjoy life and figure out what happens next. A whole interaction happens here with Arisu and Usagi and it kept cutting to another character who was travelling around (and some stuff about a dead deer and friendships or something who knows I was distracted by a crying Arisu my poor boy). Arisu also has a thing where he tells Usagi to never leave him and it broke my heart.

Kuina and Chishiya? They might as well be enemies. She HATES him for what he did to Arisu and Usagi. He's actually not seen with anyone during those three days before the card faces.

Niragi ugly af in the manga.

I hadn't read the manga in years since it ended but I was convinced that Kuina was a Black Japanese woman BUT NO SHE JUST SUDDENLY CHANGES SKIN TONES AFTER TRANSITIONING. I had to do a double take when rereading the manga. I know it's supposed to be a tan but It had been years okay cut me some slack.

Hatter's gravity defying hair. This changes no plot. I just thought his hair was very funny and I would lpve to see an actual attempt in real life.

Okay thats literally all I can think of. Overall, I was happy with the live action and the literally only thing I was upset at is the fact they cut a whole character out. He may show up to season 2 but with the way the show went, I doubt they'll go back in time just to show off a random four of hearts game that this character was in with Arisu. I wish we got that cute hug with them of Arisu being tackled by this scrawny 16 year old. 😤

[mckoriginals-blog]

Chapter 1: It was a long road that brought him here. And like most stories of true love, it all began with a girl. But we'll get to that later. First... The boy. Clark had endured pain. Physical first. For years. What a 2 year old toddler could do to provoke years of anger... Clark still couldn't say. He only remembered that his concept of love was directly connected to deep mistrust and a sincere wish to please the people around him. Sometimes he found the way quickly. He gave his father what he needed and the beating stopped. Sometimes, there was no reason behind it. So the beating didn't stop. Bruises became choke marks. Black eyes became swollen. Cuts became stitches. Lies became commonplace. There was a "happy family narrative." In fact, the entire family could have lost everything if certain people knew. So the burden fell upon the boy, to keep up the lies, to suffer in silence, and to endure the nightmares. All of this shaped how he loved. All of this is important. From age 2 to age 7, Clark was hurt in ways that still affect him today. He remembers those years, especially at night. First, he couldn't sleep. His father would pass the room, see Clark's eyes open, and his imposing shadow moved closer as he entered the room. The door would close. And merciless violence was his punishment. For being awake. Not loud, not even talking. He was not out of bed. He was in bed, as asked, falling to rest... Just not fast enough. The next week he hid under his bed. He knew he wasnt asleep yet. He knew his Dad would see him. If he hid, he couldn't find him. Or maybe he'd see the fear he instilled in his only son and feel shame. The beating that night was one of the worse he had ever received. He learned to fake sleeping. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes not. Sometimes hearing, "Clark. Are you awake?" Was enough to make him shake in fear. This answered the question. His emotions betrayed him. His father knew. He was rewarded with pain. Between 2 and 7, Clark learned something. A fail-safe. The way to stop the physical abuse. He had to cry. Everytime he did, it brought his father out of it. His father would stop. He'd apologize, begging his confused son for forgiveness. What child would refuse their Dad that? But... The sentiment.... "It will never happen again, Clark. I promise, I'll never hit you again." That was a lie. So he knew promises were not for him. And he stopped crying. The abuse got worse. As the rage built within him, desperate to see tears and fear in the eyes of his son, Clark's father was instead met with stoicism. A cold resolve. Emotionless eyes from his son. The beatings would go on for years, but Clark never cried again for his father. Eventually, Clark's mother left his father. His sisters were staying with her. Clark was old enough to make the choice. He still remembers this moment. "My Dad is staying. My mother and sisters are moving. My Dad will be alone. I don't want him to be alone. I choose Dad." Clark's mother cried. How do you explain to your 7 year old son that his empathy was going to be met with abuse? He didn't know it was wrong. He didnt know other sons were loved, not hit. The family never taught him the difference because if he knew, his father's career would have ended. Somehow, his mother convinced Clark that his father would be ok and his little sisters needed him more. And at age 7, Clark moved into a house of kindness, compassion, and patience. And he forgot the abuse. Repressed it. For many years. People asked why Clark didn't make eye contact. Some asked him directly. Guessing correctly. "Were you ever hit, son?" And Clark smiled. "Of course not." And he thought it was the truth. Chapter 2: Clark was popular. He wasn't the best athlete. He did ok. He wasn't the most confident kid. He fought insecurities often. But he was a few other things. He was smart. He devoured books. Watched the news. Thought and asked questions beyond his years. He was nice. His heart was big and he wore it on both sleeves. He was funny. He made kids laugh, adults chuckle, and his sarcastic nature made him see optimism and positivity in the darkest of times. And because of this, people liked him. And Clark liked being liked. Then, Clark felt a new emotion. You may disbelieve it. And the intensity of it can be doubted and debated. But Clark found love at a young age. And it became his everything. This powerful force suddenly became his main focus. Everything in life was in the pursuit of it. He wrote and spoke passionately. He charmed. He wooed. He found all his strengths could be used to win the hearts of the girls he fell for. Jokes made him funny. Poems made him romantic. Kindness made him sensitive. Intelligence made him interesting. But love is complex. And betrayal... Painful. Love was innocent at 7. Losing it was hard at 10. And finding his girlfriends cheating at 13, well. That was devastating. 13. The year his mother and father fought. Thats the year the nightmares started again. Thats the year he remembered. This is where Clark became broken. But... he did survive. And two years later, he met the girl who made him whole. Layla. Chapter 3: Sitting in base housing, Clark listened to the most heinous things being said about his mother. Insults, for no reason. It was too much. His father was mad at her. So he sat his three children down and told them every disgusting nasty thing he thought about her. They went home in tears. Clark felt them welling up, but did not let them fall. He was good at holding back tears. "Mom? Dad said this. And this. It's not true, right?" Then she repeated his infraction. She told her teenage son and daughters about how terrible their father is. Clark ignored it all. He was a cheater. A sex addict. A deviant. Whatever... Clark thought to himself. As though his mother could read his mind, she turned to Clark. "Plus, dont forget all the things he did to you." Clark felt something in the back of his mind. A wall. Cracking. "The bruises. The scars." The wall was shaking, struggling to keep something back. "He used to beat you, Clark." The wall collapsed. "No, he didnt..." Clark said. Then he yelled it. Then he cried. Then he ran. But he was starting to remember. And he would never forget again. The nightmares came. But they were memories. He knew, because he asked each time. "Did he give me a bloody nose?" "Yes." "Did he make me lie at the base picnic?" "...Yes." "Did he come into my room?" "Almost every night..." "AND YOU LET HIM? FOR HOW LONG?" He didn't like the answer. His popularity took a hit. He withdrew. He battled depression. He had trouble socializing. Clark's entire fucking world fell apart. And things were about to get worse. Chapter 4: Its interesting. When you have a strong sense of justice and someone in your family breaks the law. It can disillusion you and make you question your entire perspective. It can drive you away from your family. It can make you leave. Clark left his mother's house and moved in with his father. Clarks father tried to explain the past. "Your Mom tricked me. She said she was on birth control." Gee. I was an accident. Im so sorry. Thanks Dad. I understand now. But there was one thing about his father he knew. His father followed the law. So he stayed. The internet, messaging... It was just becoming a thing. Clark loved computers. He loved the internet. He read. Wrote a lot. And he played Checkers. Online. And he met Barry. A Canadian. They talked about video games. Barry told him about a Romanian born classmate, Alex. Alex started playing Checkers too. He was a computer whiz. In a few days, he taught Clark how to read HTML, make webpages, send documents, download songs, and even IM. It was innocuous the day. Clark logged into MSN messenger. Alex greeted him. Clark was doing homework. Barry joined the room. Then Gabe. Clark was getting overwhelmed. Remembering what his Dad did took away his extroverted side. He was completely shy. Nervous. Doubtful. He didn't know Gabe well. Clark was thinking of an excuse to leave... "Hey, Clark. There's one more person who wants to join. Is that ok?" Alex asked. Clark wanted to say no. To this day, he can't tell you why he didn't. He was a people pleaser. Maybe that's why. "Yeah. Of course." *Layla has joined the chat room*