#my record for longest completed thing I’ve written is a 10000 word epistolary fic and I think mbs deserves a long one too

[3584-tropical-fish]

It’s become a bit of a trend of mine to write epistolary novel style fics that require tons of research for really mundane things. So, I’ve found myself with one regarding Ms. Perumal trying to find her kid, featuring phone calls varying in their level of helpfulness, anagrams, and a brochure about fishing locales.

Also written under the cut if a Google doc is not ideal.

Letter, addressed to Reynie Muldoon, Boatwright Academy, 100 Copernicus Road, ST0087

Dear Reynie,

Congratulations on your acceptance to Boatwright! I’m so proud of you, and I always will be. I sent a package with some of your belongings and a couple gifts from me, but do let me know if there’s anything I missed. And, of course, you are always welcome to reach out if you ever need me. You know where to find me.

I know this is a big change for you, but I also know that everything will turn out perfectly fine. You can do this! You’ll learn a lot more from the Boatwright Academy than what I could ever teach you, and I know that this will be a great opportunity for you. Though, as I’ve said, I’ll be here if you ever need me.

Much love,

Ms. Perumal

Phone call, Ms. Dipika Perumal and Boatwright Academy Offices

MAN: Boatwright Academy, how can I help you?

MS. PERUMAL: Good afternoon. I recently sent a package to Reynard Muldoon, a new student at your school? It just arrived back at my house, and I wanted to make sure that he was alright.

MAN: Things don’t just get sent back, maybe there was a mistake in the address you wrote. Nothing to worry about.

MS. PERUMAL: I’ve double checked it multiple times, I am certain that I haven’t made any errors.

MAN: Well, if there wasn’t a mistake, I’m afraid I can’t help you any more. We–

MS. PERUMAL: You’re the only ones that can! I cannot reach out to him any other way.

MAN: (sighing) What was the name? I’ll see what I can find but I can’t guarantee–

MS. PERUMAL: (frustrated) Muldoon. M-U-L-D-O-O-N. Reynard Muldoon.

MAN: Ma’am, I’m sorry, but–

MS. PERUMAL: This is the Boatwright Academy, isn’t it?

MAN: It is, but our policy states that we are not allowed to disclose any information about our students to non-family members.

MS. PERUMAL: (increasingly firm) Be that as it may, I sent a package to one of your students. Why was it returned?

MAN: I have no idea.

MS. PERUMAL: He is a student there, is he not?

MAN: Ma’am, there’s no Reynard Muldoon enrolled here.

MS. PERUMAL: There must be a mistake. Tell your headmaster that I’m on my way to talk to her in person.

(call ends)

Security Feed, Boatwright Academy Headmaster’s Office

(The HEADMASTER sits at her desk, typing something on a computer. After a moment, there is a knock at the door.)

HEADMASTER: Come in.

(MS. PERUMAL enters and sits in the chair across from the HEADMASTER.)

HEADMASTER: (curtly) Ms. Perumal?

MS. PERUMAL: (just as curtly) Yes.

HEADMASTER: You are lucky that I agreed to see you, Ms. Perumal. You have no affiliation with anyone at this school, but we deemed it more beneficial to everyone involved if we prevented you from… (pause) breaking in.

(The HEADMASTER shifts to fully face MS. PERUMAL and places a paper in front of her.)

HEADMASTER: A class roster, M section, of course. You’ll notice there is no “Muldoon”.

(MS. PERUMAL picks up the paper and skims through it. She frowns.)

MS. PERUMAL: He would’ve been admitted just a few days ago, are you certain this is up to date?

HEADMASTER: (sighing) Yes. I printed it just this morning. Our records are updated upon any student’s admission. Reynard Muldoon is not a student here.

(MS. PERUMAL rifles through her bag and pulls out her own paper. It is a newspaper from a week or so prior. She places it on the table.)

MS. PERUMAL: What’s this then? (reading aloud) “Are you a gifted child looking for special opportunities? Boatwright Academy is offering gifted children a chance to participate in a special testing day. Children who pass the test will be offered a full scholarship to Boatwright Academy”. My student attended these exams, and, following their conclusion, I received a call that he had been admitted into the Boatwright Academy. (with force) Why is he not here?

(The HEADMASTER frowns.)

HEADMASTER: Those tests are run by an affiliate of ours. They informed us that no one had passed the tests this year.

(MS. PERUMAL looks stricken.)

HEADMASTER: Is there anything else?

(Silence)

MS. PERUMAL: No, I— no. (She clears her throat.) You’ve helped me enough. (MS. PERUMAL stands.) Thank you for your time.

HEADMASTER: Of course. I hope everything turns out well.

(MS. PERUMAL nods, turns, and exits the room.)

(feed ends)

Phone call, Ms. Dipika Perumal and The Stonetown Gazette Offices

CAROLINE: You’ve reached The Stonetown Gazette, my name is Caroline. What can I help you with today?

MS. PERUMAL: I’m looking for the name of the person or organization who ran the ad that offered scholarship opportunities for the Boatwright Academy. They did not include clear contact information and I’d like to get in touch.

CAROLINE: I’ll see what I can find, ma’am. What did the ad say, exactly?

MS. PERUMAL: In large font, “Are you a gifted child looking for special opportunities?” It was quite unique.

CAROLINE: Ah, yes. I remember that one. Quite unique, indeed. Excuse me for a moment while I look for this, I’m going to put you on hold.

(soft piano music)

(several moments pass)

CAROLINE: Unfortunately, I only have a name, no further contact information, though I’m sure you could reach out to the Boatwright Academy for further details. It was paid for by Cheri Turpintown. Spelled C-H-E-R-I, T-U-R-P-I-N-T-O-W-N. Anything else I can do for you, ma’am?

MS. PERUMAL: Oh, no. That’s all I needed. Thank you very much.

CAROLINE: Of course! Have a nice day, now.

MS. PERUMAL: And you too.

(call ends)

Stonetown Registrar, List of Local Business Owners

CHERI TURPINTOWN

Affiliation: Boatwright Academy

Phone: None

Address: None

Journal, Owned by Ms. Dipika Perumal

Cheri Turpintown

Placed the ad

No known address

Connections to Boatwright

Possibly the test proctor

cheriturpintown

cehiinnoprttuw

port

ton

in

truth in ceinoprw

prow cein ice

power cin inc

truth in power inc

Power in Truth Inc.

Stowntown Registrar, List of Local Businesses (Shell Companies)

POWER IN TRUTH, INC.

Owner: Withheld by request

Phone: None

Address: None

PO Box: Power in Truth, Inc.

PO Box 2733

Stonetown, USA 02748

Security Feed, Stonetown Market (Video Only)

(MS. PERUMAL approaches a storefront. This store belongs to the FISHMONGER.)

(The FISHMONGER greets her and asks a question. MS. PERUMAL shakes her head and asks something in return. She speaks for a moment, making some gestures with her hands, and eventually points toward the salmon displayed behind the FISHMONGER.)

(The FISHMONGER frowns and shakes his head.)

(MS. PERUMAL says something more, and swiftly walks away and out of sight.)

Brochure, Stonetown Fish and Game Commission: Fishing Locations

There are a multitude of picturesque locations in and around Stonetown that are perfect for fishing. The waters off the coast are known for their catches of mackerel, sea bass, Atlantic cod, and plenty of other species. Beginners can find many coastal areas or freshwater ponds and rivers in the area, while more seasoned fishers can try their hand at sites off the coast.

Due to the importance of fishing on the local economy, fishing licenses are required in almost all shorelines and waters off the coast of Stonetown. Licenses can easily be acquired from the Stonetown Fish and Game Commission offices, but caution should still be taken to not fish in dangerous areas or private property.

Should one wish to spend a weekend casually fishing without a license, the Beauchamps Woods, central to one of Stonetown’s many public parks, is home to a two-mile stretch of shoreline where unlicensed fishing is permitted. For convenience, multiple trails lead to various spots in the area.

[image: A map of a section of Stonetown’s coast, which is surrounded by Beauchamps Woods. Multiple trails are marked in colorful lines throughout the area, most leading to various spots along the water. Across the water, on the edge of the map, one side of Harbor Island is pictured. Boxed in red, centered on the map, is a section of coast that is labeled “UNLICENSED FISHING AREA”.

This particular brochure copy has multiple trail ends crossed out but one, which seems to have a good view of Harbor Island, is circled in several frantic rings.]