#my queue does all the grocery shopping

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Girl On Fire 2

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as cheating, neglect, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: neglected, you find comfort in another home.

Characters: Jonathan Pine, Loki

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself

You don’t know why you’re trying. Why you’ve marked the day on the calendar. Loki’s coming home but nothing’s going to change. Still, there’s a glimmer of hope inside of you that wants him to prove you wrong. 

So it is that you wake up early with a list of to-dos and to-gets. You have a plan. That makes the days a bit easier. When you have something to do, you don’t have time to think. 

You think maybe if your husband comes home to a nice dinner and a tidy home, he might have some epiphany. He might realise he likes it better there then on the road. He might just see what’s been right in front of this the whole time. He might even remember the vows he spoke a decade ago. 

What happened? When did he forget? When did you become an afterthought? 

No, you won’t be. Not forever. He’s just overworked. He’s busy. He has a lot going on. He can’t pay for your lifestyle sitting at home. Get over it. Get over yourself. 

You grab your purse and head out. You have a list. You’re going to make his favourite dish; sesame crusted salmon. You’re no Michelan start chef but you know a few tricks. It feels good to have a purpose, to have something ahead of you. And it will be nice to eat more than the microwave noodle bowls you’ve been living off of. 

You ignore the dirt littered across your walk as you clutch the reusable bags in your fist. You’ll fix that before he gets back. He won’t know the difference. Hell, if you dug up the whole strip, he might not even notice. 

You try not to fixate on it. That’s your problem. You latch onto things and they just build and build until they boil over. You’re a mess. It’s like he always said, you hold onto stuff. You just can’t let anything go. 

The grocery store is busy. The cramped aisles add to your impatience as you search out each ingredient. Why does that woman need to have her cart right there? Why does that man keep inching closer as you’re searching the spice shelf? Back off! 

You join the queue to check out, feeling worse for having made the trip. All the people have you amped up and anxious. People are always so stressful. Why is that customer bitching at the cashier about an expired coupon? They don’t care, they make minimum wage. 

You make sure to offer a smile to the overworked staff. You were once one of them. Loki likes to remind you of that when he remembers you exist. Nope, don’t do that. This isn’t about the past. You’re going to have a lovely dinner and talk and laugh and... try. 

Yeah, you thought the same thing last month. And the month before. 

Your optimism is waning as you come out with your bags over overpriced ingredients. Every time you go shopping, you swear it’s more expensive than the last. You tuck the bags behind the seat and brace yourself for the drive home. The clogged parking lot gives you little hope for a smooth ride. 

The traffic mellows as you reach the suburbs and you slow down and take each speed bump with caution. Children run after each other or walk with parents. You don’t know if you want any but Loki’s not really offering up the chance. His fleeting touches don’t offer much more than his own satisfaction. 

You turn into your drive and rub your lower back as you lift the bags out of the car. You push the door shut with your hip and turn, stutter stepping in place. Something’s different. Your flowers! 

The white and pink tulips are still lost to the squirrel’s mischief but in their place are new stems. Blue petals standing tall. You glance across the street then back again. You’ll have to go over and thank Jonathan. He really didn’t have to do that. 

You’re almost teary-eyed as you get inside. It’s just something small. It’s not that big but it feels like the world. He thought of you. Someone thought of you. 

Were you that pathetic? To go to that effort just to replace some flowers, you must’ve made quite the tragic scene. Suddenly, you’re not so eager to show your gratitude. 

You put everything away and make your way through your list. You check the clock between chores. Scrub the stove, clean the dishes, mop the floors; do everything you neglected in your husband’s absence for your bouts of tears and lazy nights of reading romance novels until you pass out. 

As the hours pass, you feel your stomach fluttering. You’re almost excited to see him. Loki’s coming home and you’re going to make it special for him. And you’re going to ask him that big question. Do you think you could stay home for a bit? 

It’s fear as much as it is excitement. It’s not like you haven’t thought to ask it before. The answer is clear. Each time he leaves, it’s for a little longer. He always tells you the same thing; he has to pay his dues, he has to show that he can do the job. 

Not this time. If he’s not going to change, then you have to. If he won’t stay home, then you’re going to start looking for a job so he can. If you bring in money, then he can’t hold his wallet over your head. Worse comes to worse, it’s a way out. 

Makeup done, hair too, your best dress on, the food is cooking, the house is fragrant with savoury aromas, and you’ve timed it all perfect. It’s almost five. His flight was supposed to get in half and hour ago. 

Your phone vibrates.  You grab your cell from the table by the front door where you left it to charge. It’s him! 

A text. Not a call, just a text. You tap the screen and read it eagerly. Your shoulders drop and you drop your phone. 

‘Won’t be home til ten. Business dinner in town. Big client.’ 

Worse than the disappointment is what he doesn’t say. No ‘love you’, no heart emoji, not even an apology. Just the facts. Just another excuse. 

You don’t respond. What’s the point? You don’t even know why he messaged. You should be flattered that he even bothered. 

You shake your head and drop the phone on the screen. You should’ve expected this. Maybe you did. Maybe you get some sort of thrill out of the rejection. 

The oven beeps. Just in time. You go and take the pan out, silencing the alarm with your thumb. You toss the fish onto the stove and spin away. You want to scream but you just don’t have the energy. You march back to the doorway and stop yourself. 

You take a deep breath and push it all down. The rice is done. You turn it off and the veggies are glistening perfectly. You might not be a professional but damn it looks good. 

You take a glass container from the cupboard and carefully begin to transfer the portions. You make up two full meals. You were precise in your measurements, sure not waste a morsel. You seal the lids and the walls fog up. You stack them and carry them down the hall. 

You steel yourself as you pass through the front door and keep your chin high. The tulips sway gently in the early evening breeze. You get to the curb and muster a smile. You cross and march up to Hattie’s house. The old woman has been reclusive of late but by her nephew’s report, you can assume why. 

You go to the front door and ring the bell. Your stomach is churning again, in a much different way. You wait, doubt rising with each second. You’re about to turn away when Jonathan answers the door. He’s just as you remember; strangely familiar but refreshingly not. 

You swallow and stamp your smile in place, “I just wanted to say thanks for the flowers. They’re lovely.” 

You hold out the containers and his brows rise, “oh, you didn’t need to do all this.” He takes them, his warm fingers brushing against yours, “that’s so nice. And it wasn’t any trouble. It was getting crowded in the garden.” 

“The least I can do,” you insist. 

“Don’t you look wonderful? Special occasion?” He looks you up and down. When’s the last time a man did that? 

“Oh, uh, no... not anymore,” you look away, “anyway, I hope you enjoy. Salmon, jasmine rice, and some roasted veg. Nothing very special.” 

“Ah, but it is,” he says, “unfortunately, my aunt’s already abed and she has a very strict diet,” he intones, “so... would you like to join me? I’m afraid it’s all too much for just me.” 

He raises the containers and examines them. You’re too embarrassed to admit what’s happened. It would also be insulting to admit the food isn’t even meant for him. 

“I’ve some wine that would pair nicely with fish,” he continues, “and good company.” 

You consider his offer as you peek over your shoulder. Your house looks ominous like a horror movie. Empty and dark. There's nothing for you there. You face him again. 

“I’d love to.” 

[theamberwriter]

The Perfect Blend

Modern!Alpha!Levi Ackerman x Omega!GN!Reader || Tea Shop AU

Word count: 6.3k

So this is the first fic I’ve written in a while, and I cannot remember the last time I actually watched AoT. But my thirst for Levi can never be tamed. I hope this does him some justice. Also, I’m on my iPad. So the formatting may be a little weird.

Companion Art: [1] [2]

☕️📚

The Stem and Spine was the shiney new bookstore/tea shop opening on the corner on Prescott and Main. It seemed like ages since anyone had tried opening a store there. It was such a quaint spot. The historical building had detailed moldings, uneven red bricks, and chipped, dark blue paint. Six large, angled windows gave a panoramic view out to the bustling streets in your little college town.

It was the perfect spot to stop, drink tea, and people watch.

You were looking forward to opening day. You’d spent months crawling through every bookshop, online and in person, as well as every thrift shop trying to find one specific book. No one seemed to know of it’s existence. So you were silently begging the universe to cut you a break and let this new bookshop carry what you were looking for.

You’d only recently discovered their grand opening. An awkward omega gave you a flier. They were handing them out as people were leaving the grocery store. You were really excited, but maybe that was your inner bookworm talking.

Since the shop was right down the road, you decided to walk there on opening morning. You weren’t really expecting any sort of crowd. All of the college kids had gone home for the summer, so the streets had emptied out some. You enjoyed how quiet the summers were. So the long, winding line leading from the door of Stem and Spine was definitely a surprise.

You didn’t need to look for the book that badly. You could come in a month or so when things had died down some. You were going to head back home when you heard the people by you talking:

“I heard the guy running this place is hot as fuck,” said one.

“Did you hear what that girl in our study group said?” asked the other. The first shook their head. “Apparently his scent is like, super strong.”

The friend grinned, running their tongue over their teeth. “I can‘t wait to find out.”

Oh no, you mentally groaned then took a nice deep breath. The scents came one right after the other. A mangled mash up of pheromones. This line was almost entirely betas and omegas. And they were here for that alpha. You were never going to be able to shop there at this rate! As an omega yourself, you just knew they all would come from miles around until this guy was claimed.

You decided it was better to queue up, then maybe you’d actually get a chance to set foot inside. You waited for hours. You were sure those ahead of you would linger as long as possible and try to make an impression. That meant everyone had to stand in line longer.

By the time employees came down the line and told people they were closing for the night, your feet were killing you and your phone battery was nearly dead. All day and you’d only gotten a quarter of the way to the door! You could still see the spot you’d started from. A few people tried to get rowdy, complaining it was unfair that they’d been waiting all day. But their steam fizzled when employees threatened to call the police.

For two weeks, you checked the line for Stem and Spine. Day after day the line seemed to get longer. You saw a lot of returning faces, they must’ve been desperate. You even saw a handful of people getting escorted out by police! You also heard more and more rumors about what everyone was lining up for.

I heard he’s one of those hot, stoic types. I’d love to break him.

I heard that if you’re a beta or omega, just the guy’s scent is enough to make you jizz in your pants.

I heard he doesn’t like needy omegas, good thing I’m not like the others.

I heard he’s starting an entire harem - I’d love to be a part of that!

This is my eighth time going. I swear, I’m on the verge of making him my mate!

The rumors went on and on, getting more and more absurd. You wondered what this guy was really like, if he was really worth all of this. You weren’t interested, you just wanted a book! If anything, this was annoying. You figured it was probably annoying for him too, especially if he just wanted to do his job and not have to worry about anyone throwing themselves at him.

Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, you were able to set foot in Stem and Spine. It was quiet. No three block long line in sight. Sure, it was still busy but these people actually wanted books. They were all glued to the shelves, actually talking about books, and showing each other covers.

Inside was better than you’d imagined it. Everything was cream, gold, crimson, and navy blue. In one half was the tea shop. There were shelves of tea and accessories that lined the walls; loose leaf, prepackaged, diffusers, tea pots, honey sticks, spoon rests. As well as a long barista counter that had a large chalkboard and sizable drink list that was nothing but tea. There were a small handful of metal tables and chairs, and you remembered seeing some outside with umbrellas as well.

The other half of the store was the bookshop. There was row after row of books. Mostly fiction from your first glance. There were also displays for local authors and a shelf of new arrivals. You couldn’t wait to spend the day combing through. The entire vibe was cozy and the scent of jasmine wafting around was relaxing. You did wonder, however, how you were able to get in. Had the alpha been claimed? You didn’t smell anything overwhelming.

“Aaawwww, what do you mean he’s not here?!” You heard a girl whine. You were just starting on the second row of books.

“Mr. Ackerman isn’t here,” said the employee, irritation clear in their voice. “And no, I don’t know if he’ll be back today.”

The girl groaned loudly, but you didn’t hear her complain anymore. You figured she must’ve left. You wondered if she was the one who’d managed multiple visits.

“This has really gotten out of hand,” you heard the employee down the aisle say. They’d been stocking more books. “Great for sales, though.”

“That bad?” you asked. The employee looked at you, she looked tired. Her name tag read Mikasa.

“You have no idea,” she sighed. “I like working here. Levi is my cousin and a great boss, but these fangirls have just been too much. You’d think the fact that he ignores them would be a turn off. But they just keep coming.”

You didn’t realize you’d spent your whole afternoon in Stem and Spine until Mikasa came around to give you a five minute heads up. You were disappointed you didn’t find what you were looking for. But you still managed to find a couple hidden gems you were excited about. Maybe what you wanted was just too obscure.

You brought your books to the counter. As they rang you up, you noticed a clip board with a paper that read What Books Would You Like to See at Stem and Spine? Under that was a long list of handwritten titles and author names. You quickly scribbled down the book you were looking for. At least now there was a chance for it to appear.

Over the next month, you managed two visits to Stem and Spine every week. You and the employees actually started to recognize each other. You also started to see titles you recognized from the list. The mysterious Mr. Ackerman, however, still managed to escape your sight. Every time you went, there was a small posse outside just trying to grab a whiff.

It wasn’t until your first visit of the following month that you finally laid eyes on him. You’d just finished a series and were looking to start a new one. So you wandered over to the new arrivals section. You’d been there about half an hour when a heavy wave of lavender hit you. It filled your head, murking up your thoughts. You figured this had to be him, and the rumors were true - his scent was another beast entirely.

You shook your head to focus your thoughts. You liked this store, so this was something you were going to have to get used to if you wanted to keep shopping there. But you were also extremely concerned - if he was here, then that long line and hoard of omegas and betas would be too. You wanted to leave, but you were stuck between two books with money only for one.

You probably should’ve noticed the scent getting stronger. But you were so focused on reviewing the synopsis on both and thumbing through that you were oblivious. You didn’t wake from your stupor until there was a flutter of movement beside you. You glanced to your left to see a dark haired man in a white collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He set down the few boxes he was carrying.

This man, you realized, was where the lavender wall had come from. This was the infamous Levi Ackerman, owner of Stem and Spine. Mikasa had told you a bit about him in previous weeks. You liked talking to her whenever you came in.

“It’s rude to stare,” he said in a surprising tenor. His back was still to you. You cursed under your breath and turned back to the shelf. That was one way to embarrass yourself. You began musing between the books in your hands again.

After a long moment of silence, a voice said, “I’d pick the one in your right hand.”

You looked over to meet a bored pair of silver eyes. “What?”

“I’ve read them both. The book in your right hand was far more interesting.”

“Oh cool,” you said slowly. “Thanks. I would’ve been here for ages.”

You quickly placed the other one back in its place and scuttled away. You were just going to have to take his word for it. You didn’t want to hover anymore than you had. At the front, they packaged up your book and you were swiftly out the door.

Levi had been right, the book was very good and you were excited that there were four more books to follow with a movie planned. The next time you tried to go to Stem and Spine it was packed again. There was a line down the block and you just didn’t have the time to wait. Your shift at work started soon, and all you’d wanted to do was thank him for the recommendation.

You decided to head straight to work instead. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long to see the bookstore owner again. The wall of lavender hit you before you saw him. You watched everyone around you turn to stare. It didn’t seem to phase him in the least.

Levi came to the counter and briefly talked with your coworker, who couldn’t seem to keep a straight face. When they disappeared to look for someone, Levi waited at the counter. This was probably going to be weird, but you really did want to thank him for helping you find a new series you absolutely loved.

“Hey,” you started, the book in your hand. He glanced at you briefly. “I, uh. You probably don’t remember me, but you recommended this book to me last week. And I, uh, I just wanted to say thank you. It was really good.”

“I told you it was better,” he stated. “I remember the other one you had - the author writes shit. It doesn’t have any good character development and there were a few glaring plot holes.”

“Oh, that’s good to know - I’ll definitely take that off my reading list.” You laughed awkwardly, carefully tucking the book away in your bag. “I was, uh, I was going to stop by the shop earlier. See if you were there - so I could thank you. But that line was just - woo!”

“I’m going to have to do something about that.” You weren’t sure if that was directed at you, but Levi seemed lost in thought.

Your coworker soon came back with someone in tow. They talked for a minute and then Levi and his intoxicating scent were gone. Afterwards, your coworker could not shut up about him. There was no way you were going to tell them about the bookshop.

In the days that followed, the line to get into the shop shrunk. But there was a continuous crowd that flurried around. A few employees you recognized seemed to be doing crowd control.

“I don’t care that you want to see him,” said one. “You don’t actually want a book or tea! It’s clogging up the shop.”

So Levi was doing something about the outrageous line. You were looking forward to being able to shop there again. The employees inside seemed less stressed when you went in and, at least, you weren’t brushing shoulders with anyone.

“Hey, [Name]!” Mikasa called as she spied you. She waved from her spot at the book counter where she was talking with Levi. You waved back at her, accidentally met Levi’s eyes, and then shuffled off into the book aisle to grab the next installment of the series.

You paid for your book, then went over to the tea shop. You didn’t know much about tea, but you figured you might as well start trying the different blends. There was a small display set up that recommended different teas for certain books. Like a nice citrusy Lady Grey to go with Pride and Prejudice.

“I don’t think that tea pairs with your book.”

You knew that voice. You turned to find Levi there with you, hovering, observing as you skimmed through the tea bags. You looked down at the pouch of English Breakfast Tea in your hand.

“You don’t think so?”

“You’ll want a black currant tea.” Levi reached just above your head and pulled down a paper bag with a raven on it. “I’m partial to this one.”

You took the bag, turning it over in your hand. You put the original pouch you grabbed back. Awkwardly, you smiled at him. “Uh, thanks. Guess I’ll go pay for this then.”

You weren’t sure what to make of it, it was probably nothing. But this encounter left you with a strange feeling. There were a few more like that to follow too.

“You’ll want a different tea for that,” he said as you picked up the third book.

“I can’t just make the black currant one?” you asked, baffled.

“Each book has a flavor that it pairs with. This one is more of a mint. If you pick wrong, you'll ruin the whole damn experience.” Levi turned the full power of his eyes on you. You were frozen under them. “Just like each person has their scent. Each scent has something that pairs nicely with it. For example, mine is lavender, yours is more of a sage. The two go well together.”

“Oh,” was all you could manage. That was the first time you felt the little flutter in your chest.

Every time you went to Stem and Spine to purchase a book Levi was there over your shoulder. He’d direct you to whichever tea he felt best went with it. He even started talking about the nuances in the flavors. How the aromatics helped, which shape of tea bag was optimal, ideally how long to steep it for. You became very knowledgeable about tea in the following visits. You were sure you'd be an expert by the time you went to pick up the last book in the series he showed you. But nowhere near as knowledgeable as Levi.

The next time you went, you saw Mikasa at the counter speaking with Levi.

"You can have the days off. Just fill out the request form," Levi said as you walked up to them.

"You're going on vacation soon, Mikasa?" you asked.

She turned her eyes to you. "My mate is going into his rut soon. I always make sure to take those days off to help him with his nest or anything else he needs."

You smiled at her. "That's really thoughtful, Mikasa. I hope, if I find someone, that they're like you."

She raised an eyebrow. "You don't have a mate?"

"No." You shook your head and shrugged.

You could've sworn you caught Mikasa giving Levi a nudge and a sharp look. Levi gave her a brief glare back. Then his eyes turned to you, his gaze relaxed.

"Why?" he asked.

You laughed humorlessly. "No one's ever really stuck around or I broke up with them. One guy tried to get me to sell my book collection. He said that they were just a waste of time and money. So I decided that he was a waste of my time. There's nothing worse than someone who doesn't understand your hobbies."

Levi said nothing but hummed in response.

"Do you have a mate out there in this big wide world, Levi?" you asked.

"No," he spat curtly.

You didn't mean to gape, but you couldn't deny you were shocked. "Really?"

"What?"

"I'm just surprised, ya know? With your strong scent and how handsome you are... I just figured by now someone would have come along. That's all."

Levi looked away from you. "My scent is more trouble than it's worth. All it does is draw shitty little brats."

You chuckled. "I can see that, considering the long line the first month you guys were open. I also noticed the growing wall of banned people. – Well I just came in to grab something really fast before work. My shift starts soon."

The college students were starting back up for the autumn semester. The streets began to fill up with cars of fresh faces, new dreams, and overstuffed suitcases. You had a feeling there'd be a new influx of people at Stem and Spine.

The hunch was correct.

Before you knew it, the store was once again filled wall to wall with people seeking Levi's attention. He seemed increasingly agitated every time you saw him. Then he once again disappeared for a few weeks, causing the crowds to thin.

“I heard the author is writing the final installment,” Mikasa said as she rang you up. “It’s supposed to be out in a few months.”

“Really? I thought this was the last book?” You raised an eyebrow. You weren’t upset, just surprised. The story felt like it could easily be wrapped up in one book. You hoped it wasn’t going to be one of those strangling the plot lines scenarios, where the whole series goes down in flames right at the end.

“Nope, one more.” Mikasa shook her head. “I’m sure Levi will be upset.”

“Does he really like this series?”

“No.”

You met her with a curious gaze. Her eyes gave you nothing in return. You’d never really noticed how similar she and Levi looked until then. Both with silky black hair and unwavering grey eyes.

"I don't smell him around today. I take it he's still in hiding? I guess I'm on my own to find a tea, then," you laughed.

Mikasa handed you your bag, it was brown paper with a dark red book and tea leaf stamped onto it. You had a small collection you kept folded under your sink and used for various things.

"Hey, before you go," Mikasa started. "I'd like to consider us friends."

You nodded and smiled at her. "I'd like to think so."

"So then would you like to hang out when I'm not working? I was thinking about going to see the movie for this, it comes out soon. Would you like to go? I'll buy the tickets."

"That'd be awesome! I can pay you back."

Mikasa laughed, then waved her hand dismissively. "It's no issue, don't worry about it. Give me your number, and we can pick a date."

You exchanged numbers then wandered over to the teashop. You were only a little upset to be tea shopping alone. You were so used to having company. You wondered what type of tea Levi would recommend. You had to admit, you were starting to look forward to your shopping visits more knowing he was there. You were happier to see him than Mikasa most days. You were grateful for your newly formed friendship, so it made you feel a bit guilty. But you couldn’t deny that there was something soothing about listening to Levi’s passion for tea.

You thumbed through the pages of the book. Skimming without trying to spoil anything for yourself. You were just trying to get the feel. What flavor would this book be? Something dark and fruity, like a black currant? Or something a little lighter, more classic like the mint? You settled on an orange bergamot, this would have to work. You paid and then walked over to your job.

About half way through your shift, a familiar tsunami of lavender smacked you in the face. Levi strode casually through the lobby looking bored as ever. He had a bag in his hand. You wondered if he’d been out shopping. You met his gaze, immediately diverting your own back to your paperwork.

“Mikasa said you were in the shop today,” he said, the scent rolling off of him was strange and heavy.

You looked up, getting sucked into those silver pools. “Yeah, I came to get the next book in the series. I figured you were still keeping your distance. - Did you need my help with something? Did you need John again?”

“I wanted to make sure you didn’t pick a shitty tea.”

You scrutinized his face. It held absolutely nothing. He really came all this way to ask what tea you picked? Well, it was just the next street over. But he still had to go out of his way to see you. He didn’t have to do that. Your heart fluttered.

“I skimmed through, but I’m not sure I picked the right one.” You handed over the bag of tea you bought.

Levi rolled his eyes. “Tech, don’t spoil it for yourself, idiot.”

He took the bag, examining it thoroughly. He considered the ingredients for a long moment. You could practically see the cogs turning in his mind. Finally Levi handed it back over to you.

“Interesting choice,” he started. “But it works. I’m impressed.”

“Thanks, I really tried to put your lessons into practice,” you laughed. There was a long stretch of silence. “I suppose you’re probably going back to Stem and Spine, I won’t keep you any longer. But I appreciate you stopping by, I didn’t think you remembered that I worked here.”

Levi stood a moment longer, then placed the bag he’d been carrying on the counter. It was from his store. “I brought this in case you picked wrong. - I’d still like you to have it.”

You stood. “No, I couldn’t -”

“I insist.”

“At least let me lay you for it. Or exchange it for the one I bought!”

Levi was already walking away. “Just take the fucking thing. I picked it out for you.”

Then Levi was gone, but his lavender scent still swam in your head. You took the bag from the counter, peering in to inspect its contents. You were so curious what he picked. You pulled out a white bag of loose leaf tea with a rose stamped on it in pink. The name read The Start of Something Sweet, it was made with strawberries and rose. You couldn’t help but smile a bit to yourself.

Later that night you made yourself a cup using what you remembered of Levi’s impromptu tea lessons. You couldn’t keep the little smile off your face. Not even as you talked with Mikasa about your movie plans. You picked a date two Saturdays away. You were really excited, you could only hope that the movie did any sort of justice.

A few days later, you made another trip to Levi’s store. It was restock day. As usual, you beelined for the new arrivals section. You were disheartened to find your requested book had still not made an appearance. You groaned. Maybe they couldn’t find a distributor either. That’d be just your luck.

“Looking for anything in particular?” Mikasa asked, stopping beside you. “You look disappointed.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I’ve been on the hunt for this one book and no one has it. I’ve checked everywhere! I even put it on your recommendations list when you first opened. It’s just getting annoying at this point.”

“Maybe I can track it down for you and get you a rush order?”

You smiled at her gratefully. “You’d do that for me?”

Mikasa shrugged. “It’s no problem. I don’t see why not. What’s Levi going to do? Fire me?”

“Sweet, thank you so much! I’ll text you what I’m looking for.”

“Hey, I’m actually about to go on break. Do you want to go get something to eat with me? You have off today, right?”

You agreed and hovered by the counter while Mikasa grabbed her things from the back. You chatted idly with a few of the other employees. They were complaining about how busy it’s been since school was back in session. You hadn’t been surprised, of course. They did build the town around the university after all.

Once the scent of lavender began wafting in, everyone became tense. You noticed something was off. It was sharper and so sweet it was almost bitter and very dense and heavy. Levi stalked in, looking irritated. He gave a sharp glare to his employees, but didn’t say anything. Instead marching through the door that said employees only on it.

“Something must’ve happened,” said one of the employees you were talking to. “He was in a good mood this morning.”

You wanted to go after him. In fact, your feet even began to pull in his direction on their own. But you stopped yourself, embarrassed. Tea aside - you didn’t know him all that well, after all. The last thing he’d probably wanted was a random omega tailing after him.

You had a thought, a reflection of something he told you - a book and a good cup of tea always made his mood better. He told you in passing, he probably didn’t even remember saying it. You knew you’d seen your favorite book somewhere in the store. With any luck, it was one he hadn’t read. You swept through the shelves, quickly finding it, then went to find a matching tea. You’d already had one in mind. Mikasa emerged just as the cashier was packing it all up for you. You had them wrap it in brown paper.

“Did you find something after all?” she asked.

You felt warm. Did it get hot all the sudden? You looked guiltily at the items in your hands.

“Actually,” you started awkwardly. “These are for Levi.”

“Levi?”

“Yeah, he seemed pretty mad when he came through a few minutes ago. Could you - I don’t know - could you give these to him for me?”

“I think it would be better if you gave them to him yourself, he’s still here.”

Mikasa didn’t give you much of a choice as she steered you towards the door he’d gone through. She forcefully shoved you down a small hallway and into Levi’s office. He was furious when he heard the door open. The sharp scent was even thicker in here, nearly suffocating. But you couldn’t help your overwhelming urge to calm him.

“[Name],” Levi grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes were shut tight. “I know you can fucking read, the sign says employees only.”

“They have something for you, don’t be an asshole,” snapped Mikasa.

You thought you heard Levi mutter brat under his breath. He looked up at you, eyeing the items in your hands curiously. You smiled a bit. Avoiding his gaze, you admired how neat his desk was. You were sure, if you had a ruler, that everything would be evenly spaced apart.

“You seemed upset when you came in,” you said, swallowing thickly. “I remembered what you said and thought maybe a book and some tea would help? This one’s my favorite and I picked something that I thought went with it. - I promise I paid for it.”

You placed the items on his desk and slowly backed away. You tried to slip away now that your peace offering had been given. Mikasa, however, wouldn’t let you leave. Levi picked up the book, turning it over his hands. He studied the cover and read the synopsis. Finally, after a long minute, he hummed and turned back to you.

“I haven’t read this one,” Levi said. You stifled a sigh of relief. “You make interesting choices in tea, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you said quickly and Mikasa finally let you out the door.

Mikasa didn’t bring up the incident over lunch. You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why did you do that? It was incredibly impulsive, but also inappropriate. That was basically the equivalent of screaming out how much he made your heart race and your palms sweat.

You tried not to dwell on it. But over the course of the week, you found yourself reflecting. You had hoped, more than you realized, that he would like what you brought him. You wanted his approval, not just his thanks. But you hadn’t been able to find the time to stop by the store and see if he’d read it. You’d been too busy with work, along with some plans with friends.

The next time you saw Levi was at your work again. He came bearing another bag. You were worried your coworkers would start getting the wrong idea. An alpha giving an omega gifts - how must that have looked to them? Then again, it was awfully presumptuous to think that the bag was for you.

But you were certain that Levi would never court you. Did you want him to, even? You hadn’t put much thought into the idea. But you didn’t hate the thought of getting to know him better. All you knew was what little he’d revealed in your chats while you picked out books and tea. Along with a little of what Mikasa had told you.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” you joked as Levi stepped up to the counter.

There was a certain air about him today. Maybe it was the way he’d slicked his hair back neatly. Or how starched the collar on his shirt was where it came out of his camel colored vest. He even seemed a touch more rested than usual.

Levi placed a bag on the counter. “This is for you.”

You couldn’t stop the sound of delight that came out of your mouth as you took the book out of the bag. It was finally, finally in your hands. After countless hours of fruitless searching, the damn book was finally in your hand.

“Holy shit,” you cried. “You found it! How much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house this time.” Levi reached in and pulled a small brown pouch out of the bag. He smirked, which sent a chill down your spine. “Cinnamon, something spicy to go with that dirty fucking shit you’re reading.”

You froze mid celebration, oh shit. It was indeed a book with a good chunk of smut in it. Your friend had let you borrow her copy, that’s the only reason you knew about the book in the first place.

“You read it?” your voice came out hoarse.

Levi clicked his tongue. “The important parts, to figure out which blend would go along with it. It’s no wonder you couldn’t find it, no self respecting bookshop carries porn.”

“It’s not porn!”

You were not expecting him to read it. But of course he would only read the spicy scenes. No context to the story or anything else. You were devastated.

“Mhm.” It did not sound like he believed you. With that, Levi turned and began to walk away. He called over his shoulder to have a good day, followed by the pet name they used in the book.

You felt warm all over, tingles chasing from head to toe. You stared after him until he was gone. Then you sat flustered in your seat with your cheek against the cool desk. You could feel a scream burning in the back of your throat. You were so glad there was a half wall so no one could see you.

When you finally got up the nerve to crack open the book you found an envelope. Your name was written in beautiful cursive on the back. Cautiously, you cut it open. Inside was money and a little note in the same scrawl.

I won’t hold this against you. I know your entire taste in literature isn’t trash. Here’s money back for the stuff you gave me. I can see why it’s your favorite.

L. Ackerman

PS. Don’t even fucking think about trying to give the money back.

It was a short note, but it was enough to bring that flutter back. You couldn’t help reading it over and over again.

Before you knew it, movie day was finally upon you. You dressed casually and were so excited that you got to the theater an hour before it started. There was no Mikasa in sight, so you sat on a bench and read. You didn’t start to worry until there was only fifteen minutes before the movie began and she was still nowhere to be seen. Not even a text.

You: Hey, just checking if you’re close by.

Mikasa: Sorry, I’m not going to be able to make it. Enjoy the movie, you’ll have to tell me what I missed.

You groaned. You did not want to see this movie on your own. Though, you supposed it wasn’t so bad. Lots of people went by themselves. You’d just been looking forward to some bonding time with your new friend.

“So this is what that little brat was up to,” said a voice behind you. You turned to find no other than Levi. His scent was just beginning to wrap you up in a field of flowers. He had two travel cups with him, and looked as attractive as ever. No white collared shirt today. That was replaced by casual clothes and tight fitting jeans.

“Mikasa?” you asked, forcing yourself to look away.

He rolled his eyes. “I should’ve known, she didn’t even read the damn thing.”

You stood in silence for a moment. You had to wonder if this was as weird for him as it was for you. You had to admit, you did not see this coming. You could only wonder if he was disappointed to see you there.

You cleared your throat. “Look, you don’t have to watch it with me. We can sit in separate rows -“

“Don’t be stupid. Here.” Levi held out a cup to you. “You didn’t get to read the first book with anything. - Let’s go see if they fucked our shit up.”

Levi grabbed your wrist, tugging towards the direction of your theater. Your skin tingled where he touched you. You weren’t surprised by the amount of stares, but each set of eyes you passed was still unnerving. You were glad to be in your seats where it’d be harder for them.

“I heard they’re already filming the next one,” Levi stated after a few moments. He wasn’t looking at you. He concentrated almost too hard on the screen, you thought he was going to bore holes into it. “We should go see it together when it comes out. Maybe grab dinner beforehand.”

“Like…a date?” you asked. It slipped out before you could stop yourself.

“What the hell else?”

You paused for a moment, twisting to look at him. You couldn’t figure out if he was serious or not. His cheeks gained a flush of pink. You smiled at him, then settled back into your seat.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

Levi nodded, but didn’t say anything else as the lights went down. Somewhere through the night, in the tension of the dark theater, your hand ended up enveloped in his.

In the morning Stem and Spine was your first stop. You were there as soon as they opened. Mikasa was doing the opening drawer. You watched as Levi went up and slammed his hand down on the counter. She didn’t so much as flinch.

“Oi,” he said. Mikasa looked up at him. “What the hell was that stunt you pulled yesterday?”

You walked up behind him. “Yeah, you did miss one hell of a movie.”

“I don’t know why you’re both so annoyed, it seems my plan worked,” she said bored, not even bothering to look up from the cash she was counting.

“How did you know we wouldn’t just walk out of the theater and not watch the movie together?” you asked.

“You both like that series too much. Besides, Levi may know a lot about tea, but he’s also stupid. He never does anything for himself. So while he may not have realized what he was feeling, we all could see it. He just needed a little push. And so did you, [Name]. I knew you liked Levi.”

“I never actually told you that, though. I never told anyone.”

“You didn’t have to. You could smell it in the air when you were around each other. Like a call and response. You two were perfect and you couldn’t even see it. I knew from the first day you walked into the shop.”

Levi took your hand. “Don’t look so fucking smug.”

Mikasa laughed as Levi took you to his office. As soon as you stepped in Levi shut the door behind you. He gave you a swift kiss on the cheek as he went to his desk.

“She’s right you know,” he started, intentionally avoiding looking at you. “We are the perfect blend.”

You couldn’t help but wholeheartedly agree.

[apprenticestanheight]

THE FIVE DAYS OF SMUTMAS QUEUE: DAY ONE

Bad Decembers - Adam Stanheight x gn! reader

OKAY!! I would not be me if I did not find a way to worm my love for the holiday season into my love for writing, so that's what the fics coming out in this queue are going to be—not all of them will be the pinnacle of the christmas season but all of them will at least be set in december and mentions of the holidays will probably worm their way into several, but the guarantees I can make are that the fics will either be close to or more than 1k words, and that there will, at a minimum, be snowy weather in the fics because we have gotten snow maybe twice where I am and I can't resist.

This one stems from a thought that I had on the sixteenth where I was like "okay angry and aggressive sex with adam, talk it out, then make up sex for round two yay" but it did change a little bit as things do when they start as ideas but get turned into fics! It's not that different from the original concept—the idea is the same it's just that round two is a little different than how I'd originally intended because I believe in my heart of hearts that Adam would be a fiend for giving oral so this fits that headcanon.

lastly, this fic is meant for audiences of 18+! Minors, DO NOT INTERACT.

Fic type- this is smut!

Warnings- adam is a guy with anger issues and they get the best of him (it is mentioned a couple of times that he punches a coworker in the face after he was provoked, and the work environment Adam is in is implied to be shitty anyway, as someone slapping someone else is also mentioned) the reader is gn for all intents and purposes but as I know the anatomy best, they're AFAB but referenced with gn terms and petnames (aside from the word pussy, which only gets used once), Unprotected sex, rough sex, reader is a masochist and Adam is kind of sadistic, oral sex (m! giving) bruises do happen because adam gets a bit manhandl-y and bruises and rough biting ensue, as does rough groping. Pet play is also in this one a few times (in use of the nickname puppy only, gn terms when smut writing aren't my strongest suit so puppy is for some reason my go-to)

December, despite all of the cheer and festiveness it usually carried, was just not your month, so it seemed.

Work was very, very difficult for you, which really shouldn't've come as a surprise come the last month of the year, but somehow always did.

Crappy coworkers always became the crappiest versions of themselves with the onset of the holiday season, and by December, amidst having to listen to your coworkers complain about how difficult their relatives were to shop for, several HR-funded Christmas parties where you and Adam would drink some of the cheapest booze and listen to your crappiest coworkers complain, and a Secret Santa gift exchange with a minimum—yes, a minimum, which to you seemed kind of ludicrous, though a max amount was certainly something you understood—spending allowance of $150 and a maximum of $380, you were angry and exhausted and looked forward to the nine days off you took between the twenty third and the thirty first like nobodies fuckin' business.

The only bright side to working in that company was the fact that you'd gotten the opportunity to get your secret santa—and one of the few decent coworkers you had in your offices, one named Claire who was actually breeching close friend territory more and more by the day—a bundle of things she'd mentioned really needing in those past few weeks thanks to the budget imposed by your offices.

You'd had the chance to get her a couple of the books she liked in addition to a couple of gift cards to grocery stores and gas stations as she was in a very tight situation with her mooch husband who refused to work point blank period. You'd gone over budget with her gift, actually, and it was the first and last year you'd ever do that.

You were working in marketing and sales and you made $2000 biweekly, which covered your half of rent and utilities, groceries and other bills with something like six hundred to spare to use as fun money. When you'd brought it up with Adam, who'd met Claire a good couple times at those Christmas parties and thought she was great for your morale, he'd supported you, said to go all out because you'd have the money back in your account two weeks from your latest paycheck anyway.

So, grocery cards, gas cards, books and around $100 in stowaway cash later, you'd gone over budget by $80 but had zero regrets because of how happy it made Claire at the end of the gift exchange.

For what it was worth—you were gifted a Nespresso and five boxes of Nespresso pods from someone who practically loathed you and probably wanted you to refuse it, but by the 21st you were so sick of work and people and everything else that you just faked a smile, said your thanks in a way that seemed just a little too sweet and definitely a bit too happy, and knew that you and Adam would cherish that Nespresso for all of the glorious coffee it made on your latest nights until it broke in the years to follow.

Getting home from the gift exchange at six, you were tired and angry at the world, pretty much, and it seemed—based on vibes alone—that Adam was much the same.

For Adam, though, it had definitely been work. After the trap, he'd switched from working as a glorified snitch for far less money than all of it was worth to working closely with a gallery that liked the shots he took enough to commission him for collections of photos. The commission money was certainly more than enough—from commissions, he got $3000 a month for 300 photos, which were typically displayed for six, eight, or ten months before he had to pick a new theme and the cycle repeated—but the gallery people he was working with were much like your coworkers in that they became the worst versions of themselves in the holiday season.

The collection he'd been trying to get together had been one part of a four hundred photo collection that captured Jersey in the winter which was due to start displaying on the 23rd and would stay up until the second of January the following year. He was working with three other people and the gallery staff and all of them were too stuck up to actually cooperate with him.

To that point, it had been twenty-one days of screaming matches, crappy coffee made worse by the bitterness Adam felt, and fighting day in and day out to keep his anger internal while he was in the apartment you shared because yelling at you, when he'd worked so hard to keep his anger issues in check? That was, under no circumstances, an option.

The first four months of your relationship had been spent with fights once every two weeks because Adam was still trying to learn how to keep his anger in check after letting it go unchecked for so long, and you'd been dating for five years. In those five years, after that rocky four months, you'd both found a balance and you both loved that balance. Adam wasn't going to fuck it up because he was angry at people who existed in a realm completely othered from the one where you were.

Well—he was going to try to avoid fucking it up for himself.

He's sitting on the couch, stewing in his anger when you come home. You grin at him, exhausted, and Adam leaves to the kitchen before you can get a word in—he'd been warned to expect a joint call sometime before midnight in relation to the collection that he had to take 100 photos for and he was antsy as well as angry, and he doesn't want you to see him like that, spiteful and angry at anything that breathes the wrong way.

He tries to make coffee with the pot you'd taken when you'd moved out of your parents place eight years prior, though the coffee machine seems to have a disagreement with Adams idea as it refuses to work, which causes Adam to snap.

"Fuck!" He shouts, hitting the coffee machine and regretting it because damn, plastic meeting knuckles is a horrible feeling. "All I need is some goddamned coffee, but no! The fucking machine—"

You step into the kitchen. When Adam hears your footsteps, he turns on his heels to face you, sees your grin.

"The coworker who loathes me gave me something that will definitely make your night a bit better," you say. "He probably wanted me to refuse but I figured we would need a new one soon anyway. It's a Nespresso, there are five different coffee types to choose from, and all you need to do is set it up. Shitty month?"

"Shitty is a fucking understatement," Adam grits his teeth. "I'm just so pissed off at the world right now, Y/N. I wouldn't be around me if I were you—when I get like this I am a flight risk because I tend to want to break things. Punched a guy in the face today and was reprimanded for an hour or three, which just made my day a lot fucking longer than it needed to be, and everything is shitty all the goddamned time and I'm sick of it."

You nod, further enter the kitchen and set the Nespresso up while Adam stews in his anger, trying to calm himself down in the ways he normally does only to find that nothing is working. He's frustrated with everything that's happened in the past three weeks, and the more he reflects on that time the angrier he gets.

And then, something happens. You accidentally sidestep onto his foot and the floodgates open, and he snaps. He screams for a solid five minutes about shit that doesn't even relate to you and you just—you just let him. You do fight back but it's like part of you understands that not all of it relates to you anyway so you just let him say his peace, and when he storms off, you don't follow him.

He goes to your bedroom, angry now with the events of the past three weeks, and the fact that he punched someone in the face, and with himself for snapping at you instead of just communicating, and he sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall and stewing within his anger until you're opening the door, poking your head in and meeting his gaze.

"You're still angry?" You ask, tone calm and even.

Adam nods, pursing his lips. He doesn't want to be angry anymore, doesn't want to do anything other than let everything go and apologize for all of the shit he berated you for, but he's still angry. Something within him isn't letting him let it go, even as much as he wants to.

"All right," you step into the room. "Would sex help? That way you can just get your frustrations out while also getting endorphins and all that other health shit."

Adam clenches his jaw. "No," he says. "We've never fucked while one of us has been angry, Y/N, and if I'm willing to punch someone in the face while I'm pissed off, I'm a little scared to find out how rough I would be willing to be with you if I did that while so mad I could smoke two joints and still feel it."

You shrug, leaning your back against the door to close it. "So be rough," you suggest. "I don't care, Adam—I think we've discussed it before, but I do like being manhandled. You can leave bruises, too. I don't care how rough you are with me, I just hate seeing you like this and if sex will take your mind off it and if it's something you're willing to do, I want to do it."

"I don't wanna leave you bruised," Adam says. He hates how obvious it is that he's half-lying. He doesn't hate the idea of you bruised—it's just how you end up as such—if someone else hurts you, he'll be ready to commit murder. But if he were ever to do that? He would feel immeasurably guilty.

"You're lying to me," you say, catching onto it immediately. "You don't want me bruised as in black eyes or punches or something else physical and abusive and you would never, ever do that to me so I'm not at all worried about that, but you would absolutely cherish the bruising on my hips and arms from holding onto me that tight during sex. I would cherish them, too, actually."

Adam tsks, "masochist," he says before biting on his bottom lip. He gets to standing, crosses the room and closes in on you, grinning as he feels your breath against his face.

"If I'm a masochist, you're a sadist," you whisper pointedly. Adams hands go to your hips, holding them tightly, thumbs pressing into your skin until he finds your hip bones and you moan just low enough for Adam not to hear it at the contact.

"Mhm," Adam whispers as he leans in so that his lips are millimeters away from your pulse point. "Gonna let me use you, puppy? Need an outlet for my anger, and you did offer."

"Yeah," Adam can't help but smile as he presses himself up against you and notices the way that your arms clench at your sides because you're physically trying to keep yourself from leaning into his touches, not wanting to give into it as quickly as you might've when he called you puppy. "All yours to use, Adam. Please. Don't want you to be angry anymore, and if using me is what it takes then go ahead."

Adams left hand moves from your hip to your face, thumb tilting your chin up and to the left so that he has better access to your neck.

"Good puppy," he whispers, this time close enough to hear the quiet moan that the praise pulls out of you. "That's all you are, isn't it? Just a good puppy, reliant on praise and my cock."

You haven't had sex since early November, so both of you are sexually frustrated, which is the icing on the fucking cake.

You moan in response, grinding your hips against him. He pushes his leg between your thighs as his tongue presses flat against your pulse point, the grip he holds on your hip remaining steady. The hand thats on your face moves down to your hip again, thumb pressing until it finds the bone.

"Mine to use," Adam says after a couple of seconds. The anger that's within him exists like a fire pit in his stomach, burning bright and burning hot and burning unrelentingly. "Right, Y/N?"

"However you want," You don't know how you're managing to speak. "As rough as you want, Adam—fucking hell. Please."

"You're perfect," he loosens his grip on your hips, kisses down your jawline until he's back at your lips again.

When he kisses his way up to your lips, the kisses he leaves in his path are rather sweet. His hands are groping aggressively at just about anywhere they can get to, and when his hands settle on your hips again, your lips are on his and the kiss he pulls you into, tongue sliding into your mouth as you open it in a quiet moan, is enough to leave your lips bruised.

Adam doesn't pull away until you're starting to and he's realizing that he can't really breathe. You press your forehead against his shoulder and take a deep inhale, arms settling around his waist.

Adam pulls away, cups your face in his hands. "Getting submissive on me already?" He asks teasingly, grinning at you a little. "Oh, Y/N. You're so easy."

You hum your agreement. "You always manage to make quick work," you murmur, moving to lay down on the bed that you share. Adam stops you, unbuttoning your work shirt and tossing it into the farthest corner of the room before you can go any further. You lay on the bed as Adam takes off the granddad sweater he'd chosen to wear after having absolutely nothing else in his closet during what would later turn into a laundry evening, happy to stare at the ceiling while you wait for your beloveds next move.

His lips are on yours again seconds later, one hand roving over your chest while the other is near your face after he'd bent his arm at the elbow to hold himself up.

After he's kissed you sufficiently, he moves his lips down your neck, kissing and biting and sucking at the skin mercilessly. You wonder, for a second, if he wants to draw blood and decide that if he does, you'll let him because the pain feels so good.

Adam laughs after he's bitten down on your collarbone particularly harshly and you've moaned lewdly, rolling your hips against his half hard length without thought.

"You're such a slut for pain," he nips at the skin again gently. "I really do think that I could cut you to pieces and you'd thank me for it, Y/N."

the thought of it makes your core wet, and so you give an embarrassed nod. Adam just laughs again, lifting your hips while still maintaining an aggressive hold on them and releasing that hold to take off your pants and underwear, leaving you completely open and bare in front of him.

You shiver as a gust of cold Jersey air gets through the room through the slightly opened window, nipples hard as pebbles from Adams ministrations, and watch him take his own pants and boxers off.

"Want me to wear a condom?" Adam asks.

You shake your head. "I can take a plan B pill," you respond. "Just--please. Please don't make me wait. Need you."

"Good puppy," Adam breathes. He goes back to kissing you before his lips move to your chest, biting and sucking at your nipples in the way he knows makes you melt the quickest. "Gonna let me do whatever I want, mm? Even if it means you're in pain?"

"Adam," you moan as he presses his cold tongue flat against your warm skin. "Fuck—mmm, whatever you want. Please, just—please don't stop. Please don't—"

"Pain slut," Adam laughs a little. "You love this, yeah? Love me using you, manhandling you, not giving a fuck if you get bruised up?"

You moan, pressing the back of your head into the pillow.

"Speak to me, baby," he murmurs, pressing kisses down your navel.

You whimper, bucking your hips against Adams shoulders and Adam repositions himself so that he's eye level with you again, holding your chin lightly.

"Use your words for me, baby," he says. "I know you love how this feels, yeah? I know you love it when I bite you because you like the pain that the biting draws out, but how am I supposed to know you want me to keep going if you don't tell me? How am I supposed to know you're not whimpering, not squirming, because the pain is too much?"

"Adam," you moan, rolling your hips against nothing. "Adam, it—you—oh my fucking—" you moan again, and Adam smiles.

He moves back to where he'd been before kissing down your navel to the place where you needed him most, kissing back up to your lips again and wetting his dick with the wetness from your folds before he thrusts into you in one fell swoop.

He gives you maybe three seconds to adjust to his length before he sets a quick, aggressive pace, one hand on your hips to keep you steady while the other sits on your breast, first finger and thumb pinching your nipple with as much force as he can muster. He needs the anger to be gone, needs it to be replaced by the comfortable, airy feelings that come with sex and post-sex glory, needs to get his anger out of his system before he's at risk of snapping at you again.

He thrusts with as much fervor as he can, trying to rid the anger from himself with each thrust. It works, for the most part, and when his hand finds your throat and presses on the sides but is careful to avoid the front, most of the anger goes out of his system completely.

You lean up into his touch, and Adam laughs at it.

"Pain slut," he whispers, leaning down to bite and suck at your nipples.

Adams release triggers yours, and Adam thrusts through the aftershocks before he pulls out, falling to your right and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you close.

A few minutes pass by. You get up to use the bathroom and return to Adams embrace, press a kiss to his lips and look at him like you want to talk.

"You've been angry for three weeks," you say. "If you're in a talking mood, let's talk, yeah?"

"I know that photography is what I'm good at, and normally I love it but I think I have something of an independence issue with regard to working there," Adam admits, moving the hand that's on your waist up to your face. He just wants to kiss you senseless, kiss you until he forgets his own name and how to speak words other than yours, but he knows he owes you a conversation—an explanation, mostly, and an apology. "I just can't do it. I can't work with other people. Three people on this project besides me and all of us are in conflict day in and day out because we're all apparently averse to compromise, and yeah, I punched Harry in the face but he smacked Kelce the other day because he didn't agree with one of Harrys ideas. It was payback, which I know doesn't excuse it for shit, but—I just—"

You press a kiss to Adams forehead. "I'm sorry that work has been so terrible," you murmur. "Soon as you get this installation done, though, you'll be able to work on your own again. Gotta practice a bit of optimism, baby. Gotta see the bright side and all that."

Adam laughs. "There is no light at the end of the work related tunnel," he says. "I'll be due in to work with the same group of people in the spring, and then in summer, and then in autumn. I've been told I'll have to do my own installations on top of that, which will mean picking more themes, dealing with more disagreements."

He props himself up on his elbows, presses a quick peck against your lips.

"I'm sorry," he says, green-blue eyes meeting yours. "About earlier—snapping at you like that? It was a dick move, and with the coffee—I flipped my lid in a way that was completely unfair. I'm sorry you had to get screamed at like that, everything just boiled over and taking it out on you is the last thing that I should've done."

You nod. "It was a dick move, and you do kind of need to work on talking it out with me before the shit hits the very angry fan, but you're forgiven," you grin at him. "If it helps, work hasn't been a picnic for me either. Never is during December."

Adam groans. "You work in an office," he notes. "How many of your coworkers complained about how difficult it is to buy gifts on their salary?"

"Everyone who had anyone willing to listen," you laugh. "Claire liked the gift I got her for the Secret Santa gift exchange, though. Glad I was hers—were it Leon, I fear she would've gotten a book on being a housewife or some shit like that. James was the guy who got stuck with me, which means we have a Nespresso. Bastard probably wanted me to reject the gift, too, because he scowled from the window at me while I loaded it into the back seat of my car."

Adam laughs. "Good thing the old coffee machine broke when it did, then," he pecks your forehead, feels the desire to kiss you senseless evade all of his senses. "A broken coffee machine turns into a Christmas miracle! Oh, glorious day."

You laugh, hand moving up Adams shoulders until your cupping Adams face, hand resting against his jawline.

"Was my apology good enough?" Adam asks, dipping his lips to your neck as your hands slide back down his and you let your arms drape over his shoulders.

"Why do you ask?" You know why he's asking, but you want to hear him say it. He had his angry fun, and now you get a shot to have a bit of fun of your own.

"There's something that I haven't tasted since early last month," he kisses until he's at the center of your collarbone. "Miss it, is all. Had a bit of a craving lately too, if I'm honest."

You spread your legs on impulse, already weakened and ready to let Adam give in to his whims. It makes him laugh because of course the bastard notices the movement, and he nods.

"You're amazing," he presses kisses down your chest, careful to kiss lightly over the places where light bruising has started because of how aggressive he was with his groping, kissing delicately over the places where the bite marks remain. You hate how quickly he can get you hot and bothered but admire it all the same, hate how you thrive off the feeling of his wet kisses and his perfect tongue moving down and across your torso.

"You're depraved," you try to say it, but it comes out as a moan, and you feel Adams smile against your navel. "Absolutely fucking depraved, Adam."

"Well, if you weren't so fuckin' ethereal, I might be less depraved, but every time I look at you all I see is perfection. Can't help it, baby."

He kisses across your lightly bruised stomach to your hips, careful to kiss lightly over the already-forming bruises that match the shapes of his thumbs.

"'M sorry about these," he says. "Sorry about all of it—the bruises and the bite marks. I didn't mean to hurt you this bad."

"It doesn't hurt," you assure. "And even if it did—I like the pain, Adam. The pain is good, I promise."

He kisses the bruises on the sides of your hips, too, nods. "I momentarily forgot about the masochism," he admits. "They do look nice, but I just can't help feelin' bad about being that rough."

"Focus on how nice they look," you hope it comes out reassuring. "They don't hurt, Adam. I promise. If I tell you not to worry, will you listen?"

Adam hums, kisses along your stomach to your other hip and takes his time there as well.

By the time Adams gotten to your thighs, you're wet and aching and just about ready to start clenching around nothing. He's got you needy and wanting, which is what he wants, and he loves it.

He turns his gaze to yours as he presses his tongue flat against your clit, loving the way that you writhe, clenching around nothing in response.

"So wet for me," he says, kissing along the outside of your pussy. "Good God, you're perfect."

And then he's licking at your folds, eating you out like he's a man starved, and you're not even trying to be quiet because of how consumed you feel by his lips and his tongue.

He moans against you, clearly getting off from getting you off, and can't help but buck your hips against his face.

He laughs, pulling away for a second. "You're so fuckin' needy," he says, bringing one finger to your gaping hole and slowly pushing it inside you.

You clench around the digit, moaning. "You're the reason. You and your perfect tongue, your amazing lips," you moan, arching your back off the bed for a split second.

He brings his lips and tongue back to your clit, thrusting into you with one finger, doing as you wish when you start begging for a second and a third.

"Adam," you moan, "fucking hell—Adam,"

Your orgasm crests, and you feel Adam moan against you with his own release as you cum over his fingers.

Breathless, your gaze moves up to the ceiling as you feel Adam pull his hand away. You turn to him as you hear him get up, watch him make something of a show out of licking your cum from his fingers.

"Just as good as I remember it," he grins teasingly at you, leaves to go to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, he's telling you that a bath is ready and you're leaning against him as you walk to your bathroom, sinking into the hot water and pressing your back against Adams front.

"I'll get better at communicating before it boils over," Adam murmurs, pressing an open mouthed kiss to your shoulder. "Promise, baby."

You hum, leaning against him. "We can work on it together, yeah?"

Adam nods. "That sounds like a nice idea," he says.

Silence lapses, though its comfortable. You get out of the bath tub and stumble back to bed because of how jello-y your legs feel, which Adam laughs at even though he knows he's to blame, and when you steal a pair of his boxers and one of his button up flannels, he doesn't object, merely pulls a pair of boxers and sweatpants on himself before joining you in bed and pulling you close.

The two of you fall asleep early that night, curled up together in the quiet of a Jersey evening in the tail end of December. Adam sleeps through the call from the gallery and you sleep through the call that Claire tries to get to you to talk about the aftermath of the Secret Santa gift exchange, but the sleep you get is so good that the missed calls feel entirely justified.

[toomuchracket]

i’m literally waiting for my bus right now and just say this baby in her pram she was wearing her little hat and the dad had the shopping in the little basket underneath the pram. can imagine dad matty taking baba with him while they do the grocery for girlie

this feels like it fits in the og dad!matty universe (the flatmates but older) to me. like i see it so clearly, matty and baby dylan!! you're back at work, but matty's not, so he's in full dad/househusband mode (which he lowkey loves lmao) - the two of them drop you off at work, then go home so dylan can have her morning nap while matty does some washing or whatever. and it's a nice day outside - cold, but sunny - so he decides to walk to the shops with her rather than take the car; he doesn't have a lot to get, he's just quite in the mood to cook you a slightly fancier dinner tonight as a treat, just because he loves you, so it's literally just buying ingredients for that and maybe a pint of milk or something. anyway, once dylan's had her nap and a bottle (and a cuddle from daddy), matty puts her into her little purple snowsuit and the woolly hat your mum knitted her - he's like "dyl you are genuinely the cutest baby of all time. i need to send mummy a picture of you oh my god" and she giggles - before getting her all comfy in her pram and setting off. and it's so cute, him just chatting to her the whole time and making her smile, which makes him smile in return. dylan stays awake and alert even in the shop, and matty invents a game where he holds up random food items like "yes or no, dyl?" which makes her laugh so much - he almost buys everything she reacted positively to, just because she was so happy, but making a nice dinner out of a packet of babybels and a banana seems like a difficult thing to do, so he decides against it in favour of ingredients for a chicken supreme lol. but i think he takes her down the baby food aisle so they can pick out something special for dylan's dinner, too; can just see matty reading the little jars and being like "OOH dyl this one sounds good. i think i'd have that one if i were you. shall we get it? yeah, i think we will", before going to the checkout and making funny faces to make her laugh while they queue. him repeatedly bending to put the shopping under the pram also turns into an elaborate game of peekaboo, which the baby finds so funny that she laughs all the way home, before she has another nap after all the excitement. adorable <3

[sakumz]

____________________________________________

____________________________________________

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. [ s. ritsu x gn reader ] ft. rei

warning❗: slight ooc

genre 𑁍 : fluff

____________________________________________

" rei-chan? " upon hearing his childhood nickname, he turns to the source of the sound, that means you.

currently holding a basket of grocery in your hands. rei had to turn to try and spot ritsu, who's currently at the candy aisle, probably picking out candies or hiding from him. rei gave you a sheepish smile. thank goodness the queue is still long, ritsu can take his time so rei doesn't have to stand like an idiot at the cash register as he waits for his brother to come.

" grocery shopping in the morning I see? " rei starts, trying to make a conversation as he prays for ritsu to come back sooner.

" yeah! mom forced me out with a list... you're not out here alone, are you? "

" I'm with ritsu. "

ritsu... the younger sakuma brother, you couldn't help but let a smile come up to your face as you recalled the last time you two hung out. it was at the school library when you tried to study with him, only for him to knock out the moment he sat down.

" speaking of which, do you mind bringing him back here? he's taking a tad bit too long picking out candies. " hearing the request, of course you agreed.

going from aisle to aisle, finding the candy category. there you spot the raven haird boy, crouched down, humming to himself.

" ah, y/n. what a coincidence, shopping for candies too? " ritsu says as he turns to look at you, his hands full of sweets.

" that's a lot of candies no? and no I'm not here for candies, I got my own errands to run. "

" it's not all for me, gonna give some to suu-chan for being so kind to me and mikarin. restocking our secret candy stash, you know. "

letting out giggles from his response, he couldn't help but smile too.

" we should go back to rei-chan. " pulling the boy from his position and taking him to his brother, ritsu wants to scream when he spots his brother.

" say, can we walk y/n to their house? I don't think I can survive a long 30 minutes with just you, " ritsu says to rei as rei let's out a sigh.

it's a dream come true that his brother even came with him all the way to the grocery store, they haven't spoken alot besides the exchange of good mornings. well at least walking you back to your house and then their dorms take at least ten minutes, he still has time to talk to ritsu a bit at least.

" yeah sure, " rei replies, looking over you as you paid your grocery.

ritsu quickly takes a bag from you, since they're gonna send you home, might as well help carry you and he doesn't have much to carry. rei offering to take your other bag so now you're walking with the sakuma brothers, side by side and you're holding nothing but your phone and wallet.

" come on, not talking to each other again? what happened? " you tried to break the silence, ad you three continued your walk home.

" anija. "

" hmm rei-chan? he did something? "

" no, wait... you've been calling him that since childhood, and you've never given me a nickname like maakun. he used to call me ricchan. "

" is that why you're not talking to rei? "

" there's favouritism here and I hate it. "

rei laughs upon hearing his brother's statement, making the two of you turn to look back at him.

" ah that was good, if ritsu doesn't love his big brother anymore its good to know there's his favourite person loving me more. "

" that's not quite true, " you say as ritsu pouts.

" so you prefer him over me? I thought I was your favourite, " ritsu fake cries as he shook your shoulders.

" well if you asked who I'd rather marry, it'll be ritsu. thought rei might be better for domestic purposes. "

" gasp, I can cook... "

" yeah your food does taste great but the appearances... what if one day I mistake your great cooking for garbage on a plate? "

" stop bullying me, anija back me up! "

" hahaha, whatever you say ritsu. "

as the three stop by your house, wave you goodbye and its just the sakuma brothers walking back. ritsu looks over to rei and sees the smile that never seem to go away eversince they exited the dorms together.

" why are you so happy? " ritsu asked.

" I got to spend a little time with you. "

" even if we never talked till y/n came? "

" seeing you, is enough for me. well its good you're still working hard and you're healthy, you've made plenty of good friends, people you can rely on. but don't push yourself too hard, if you ever need a hand to hold, I'll give you mine. "

" nah, there's still y/n's hand that I can hold in moments like those. "

" are you two lovers or something? " rei stares at ritsu as ritsu winks at him.

" that's a secret, " little did rei know, they're not lovers.

[laurfilijames]

Hello my love.

Simply because I love and miss you,

I Would like you to choose five of our boys,

Then I would like you to list their love language and why.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

My love and fellow GSE wife/hooligan lover 💗💗

Thank you for sending in yet another wonderful question about our beautiful boys that I so enjoyed answering!!

I hope this is to your liking!

Words of Affirmation- Dave

Your man is the king of communication and letting you know how much he loves and appreciates you. When he's with you, he's constantly whispering sweet (and filthy) nothings in your ear and will tell you he loves you as many times in a day as he can. When he's in the air and away on a flight you can guarantee at least a dozen texts saying he's thinking of you and he hopes you're having a good day, that he misses you and can't wait to get his hands on you when he gets back home.

He loves to listen to you tell him about your day, good or bad, and will assure you that everything you're feeling is valid and that he's here for you no matter what is happening.

Expect to see love notes littered around your flat, “I love you” on the milk for when you make a cuppa, “thank you xx” on the washing machine when you go to wash the dirty laundry, and one that says “lookin’ good, gorgeous” or “nice ass” stuck to the mirror when you're in the shower.

Physical Touch- Pete

Beacuse this is mine, I'm making it his too 🤣

If there's a moment Pete can't have his hands on you, he's basically twitching. Calm finds him as soon as his fingertips make contact with your skin, like touching you brings him every sort of comfort imaginable.

It's subtle enough when out in public- a hand pressed on your lower back as you walk through a crowd, his hand resting on your thigh where he gives the occasional squeeze, a soft peck on your temple or lips as you stand in the queue at the shop.

When you're in the privacy of your home it becomes far more intense.

His hands are constantly on your ass, smacking it playfully (or not…) or grabbing a handful of it as he kisses your neck. Watching tv is pointless as it just leads to a full out make out session that is so hot and heavy and then next thing you know you're naked and he's either eating you out or fingering you.

If you don't make love at least twice a day his world might end, or he may go a little over the top when in a scrap due to how worked up he is. Sex allows him to release all of that energy he always has bounding through him and you're more than happy to help.

Even in his sleep he is all over you, his arms wrapped securely around your body, or falling asleep with your hands linked together, his legs tangled with yours or even drifting off while he's still inside you.

Receiving Gifts- Ned

Our sweet Ned. He thinks of you in everything he does and everywhere he goes. Each time he goes to the shop, he returns with not only all the most amazing groceries to make you the most amazing meals, but also a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, or a book he saw that he think you'd like, or even some lush bath salts and a candle of your favourite scent for you to soak in the tub with.

When he's doing a delivery for work and passes by that sweet shop you both love, he's sure to grab your favourite treats or will take you back later that evening before hitting the pub.

Quality Time- Ike

Ike is miserable when he hasn't seen you in too long a time. Granted, that time can be as little as an 8 hour workday, and if he hasn't seen you before he's gone off to the Abbey after work, he's more than a little grumpy when he gets there.

When he is reunited with you, he's instant smiles and attentive to every word you say, wanting to follow you room to room just to be in your presence because he's missed you so much.

You make dinner together, shower together, watch a couple of episodes of your favourite show together, and when you're laying in bed before falling asleep, he talks about how he's going to forgo the away match on the weekend to stay home with you, and is secretly scheming a getaway to the Lake District where he can have you all to himself, uninterrupted.

Acts of Service- Swill

The man knows how good he's got it and won't take a single thing for granted, wanting to make sure you feel like the Queen you are to him and know how grateful he is to have you by his side.

He’ll help you with meals but is always the one to do the washing up, will vacuum the whole flat and scrub the toilet and is absolutely appalled at the thought of you taking out the rubbish bins.

When you have a long day at work, he doesn't hesitate to rub your back for as long as you need while you sip on the brew he's fixed for you, letting you watch your reality tv shows rather than any football highlights, but he doesn't care because he's too busy watching you melt to his touch.

[pacificgrimsarc]

[ shop ] for trent and twyla ✨💕

[ shop ] sender and receiver go to the grocery store together | @bloodrodeo

"Oh my lanta. Didja see what's been goin' on with poor Kate Middleton?" You hear her before you see her; Twyla's nose is buried in today's tabloids while in line at the local Food Lion. The front page of the rag is a poorly 'shopped photo of the aforementioned princess and her children, smiling widely and eerily at the camera. "All that money and she can't even hire a proper PR team. What a disaster!"

A well-made, but knockoff, brown handbag is dangling from Twyla's forearm and she's moving up the queue slowly, not really paying attention to where she's walking. Beep... beep... beep. The elderly cashier takes her time ringing every single item the customer a few spots ahead of them has. Twyla is no stranger to the colossally slow pace in which these big grocery stores are run, but gosh darn does she miss the quick-and-easy pick-ups back home in her small town. Still, she's buzzing with excitement; she's going to meet Trent's Pops for the first time for Father's Day weekend, but first they had to complete a laundry list to help prepare for the celebratory barbecue.

She finally looks up from the magazine, a concentrated look on her face like there's a true, substantial mystery behind the entire Kate Middleton thing and she's about to solve it à la Nick Cage in National Treasure. But it disappears rather quickly when she sees, right next to the magazines in line, is a small stand of sparklers and other small fireworks. A sign on the stand says MORE FIREWORKS IN BACK. A megawatt smile appears on her face and she grabs a couple of packs of sparklers.

"I haven't played with these since I was a little kid," she tells Trent. "We gotta buy some." A pause as she eyes the small fireworks she didn't pick up. "You think your Pops'll be up for shootin' some off? Don't wanna set your house on fire meetin' him for the first time, but... this is an opportunity I just can't pass up."

PROMPTS FOR ORDINARY THINGS THAT FEEL INTIMATE

[thessalian]

Thess vs A Return to Normalcy

Updates from the workplace, and the news is ... for once, not terrible.

See, turns out that Scruffman came in on Sunday, along with the other part-timer (who has been petitioning for more hours and I think she's going to get them at this rate), and really registered the massive dent I made in the backlog. Because seriously, that whole week we went from just under 300 to just under 150 and that was about 95% me. So we're finally back down to the low-mid double digits in terms of the size of the typing queue, and I have a feeling Scruffman had a general sense of, "Ooh. [Thess] did a lot. [Thess] should not have been doing that much, I know that."

Scruffman does not have the best communication skills, mind - especially not over email. He sent an email going, "Give me a bell ASAP" and actually included his number, which I have had stored on my phone for literally years, so I thought there was going to be something urgent and horrible. Because, you may recall, he was going to touch base with me today about potentially having to drag my poor fibro-riddled carcass over to fucking Hampstead owing to lack of bums in seats. I was concerned that this was going to be a call where Issues were brought up.

However, no, this was his way of saying, "I has a concern and want to make sure you're okay after the hours you put in last week". I didn't pull punches, either. He asked how I was doing, which is how he starts all telephone conversations, really, and I just told him, "I seriously overdid it last week". I could hear the gears turning as he was going, "Oh. Yeah. Oh, right" before moving on to the whole thing about the various unexpected absences.

So ... turns out that Violet, Goblin, and Temp are all out at the moment, though Goblin and Temp are apparently coming back on Friday. He's got Other Part-Timer coming in tomorrow, so it's really only Thursday where there might be a requirement for me to come in. But apparently that's only if Scruffman himself takes ill or something else goes entirely to hell. It was pretty clear that he was trying desperately hard not to make me go into the office, particularly after the couple of weeks I've already put in. He also recognised that I do more typing when I'm at home than I do at the office, and then surprised me further by going, "I don't necessarily mean overtime or anything!" like he very much doesn't want me to have to do any more of that either.

So the overall gist is, "Things are back to normal, we will try to manage things without forcing you on to public transport, thank you for all the help and we promise we're not going to make you do too much more of that!" I'm not sure what happens with my overtime - whether it's Time Off In Lieu or actual money, but I think I'll find that out when Head Honcho comes back from his own holidays ... or rather, when I come back from mine because he's away until next week and I'm off next week.

I very much need to be off next week. I haven't fully recovered yet. But at the very least my house is full of nice foods to have that don't require too much in the way of cookery. I did up a pork roast last night so I have leftovers from that. There's a roast chicken that's good in the fridge until Friday, which gives me time to do things with the leftover pork roast and with the duck legs and pork chops I got on sale with this month's grocery shop. But tonight, since I am exhausted (whoever was typing with me today also left me with the longer bullshit - thankfully there were no ten-minute atrocities but if I see one more placenta report this week I'm going to lose my damn mind), it will be leftover roast pork with mashed potato and an asparagus/tenderstem broccoli medley, with an appetiser of gluten-free mozzarella sticks (which, yes, still have the lactose issue but I have Lactaid so I can still have my breaded hot cheese) and possibly a salad. I did actually eat today! Okay, not lunch, but two pieces of gingerbread as breakfast went really well with my morning coffee.

[rose-of-oz]

Ivy and Sam for the ship game?

(IVY AND SAM MY OTP!! Thanks so much for this ask!!)

(GIF credit to @foxesandmagic.)

who made the first move: sam.

who kissed who first: ivy.

who started the relationship: ivy.

who remembers things: neither of them are bad at it, but sam is a little bit better.

nicknames for each other: sam will call ivy “ives” or “babe”; ivy will also use “babe” and occasionally “blondie” when she’s annoyed with him.

who is more likely to pay for dinner: they generally take turns when they go out to eat or get takeout.

who normally cooks: sam.

who remembers anniversaries: they both always remember their anniversaries.

what would they get each other for gifts: generally they just get each other a lot of little trinkets they see that remind them of the other one, but ivy does tend to lean toward more movie-based things for sam, while sam actively seeks out musical posters or cool paper to write songs on for ivy.

most trivial thing they fight over: who ate the last pastry (it’s usually ivy, but she is rightfully terrified to admit it).

how often do they fight: pretty rarely; definitely not as much as most of their friends who are in couples.

who uses all the hot water: ivy.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: sam.

who leaves their stuff around: sam.

who remembers to buy the milk: neither of them ever forget to put it on the list when they go grocery shopping.

who controls the netflix queue: sam.

who steals the covers at night: sam.

who cusses more: ivy, although she does it in hawaiian more than english.

who does most of the cleaning: ivy; sam does do his fair share of helping, but ivy’s way more meticulous about it than he is.

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: given that ivy’s asexual, none of the activities they do together are sexual. but their favorite thing to do together is curl up on their couch and watch true crime documentaries in the middle of the day, since sam gets scared when they watch them at night.

who’s the cuddler: ivy, surprisingly.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: sam is the big spoon and ivy is the little spoon.

who’s more dominant: ivy.

who is the dirty talker: they don’t really do “dirty talk,” but ivy, surprisingly, is more likely to make an innuendo or “that’s what she said” joke.

what do they do when they’re away from each other: generally just carry on their days as normal, although sam is more likely to shoot ivy texts throughout the day telling her about something funny that happened or a cool new song he listened to.

what would they do if the other one was hurt: sam is definitely more likely to freak out; he knows enough to get ivy a bandage or whatever she needs, but he’s obviously very worried and tries to avoid so much as brushing the wound with his fingers. ivy freaks out when sam is hurt, too, but she does it more on the inside - on the outside, she’s taking charge, patching her boyfriend up and assuring him it’s going to be okay.

a headcanon: ivy loves skittles, but sam only likes the green ones, so every time she gets skittles, ivy will leave all the green ones in the bag for sam to eat, claiming they’re the only kind she doesn’t like. this is a lie, but it’s also a sacrifice she’s willing to make for her boyfriend.

send me a ship!!

[machidielontheway]

absolute dumb stuff but. i was queuing at the groceries for the tills and i put myself behind AND side of the last person to make the line be parallel instead of perpendicular to all the people who wanted to continue shopping, and this girl (early twenties ?) came up and went behind the lady i was already behind so like, basically next to me. and i thought uh i’m there ?? but maybe it’s just those persons who make dumb choices in placement but has seen me and that she’ll come up behind me - even if i had to impose myself silentily when the queue will move forward. or that is trying to gain one spot higher but will fall back if i don’t let her get her way like no lady i have seen you but when the queue moved and we both moved she looked at me and was all like “uh there’s a queue ?” to which i had to reply “yes i was behind this lady but i put myself to the side to let people pass” and long story short she thought i was lying and that she saw me and that i was in the other queue before trying to change and steal her spot (which makes NO GODDAMN FUCKING SENSE) and she told me reprobating like “it’s wrong of you to do that” (c’est pas correct de votre part) and i held my own and my explanations and i was polite but she did not fucking care so i told here ok i have no problem letting you go up my stop, because i know how to cute my losses

but when i tell you i wanted to cry SO BAD. i cried right as i went home and again now writing this lol. it’s knowing for an absolute fact that you are right, and being told that you’re the one who did it wrong and is Not Good and oh my brain does not like that. i’m so fucking weak to public shame (i don’t think anybody else heard and fucking cared, but that it’s a stranger in a public setting) mixed with injustice

also i need to fucking sleep because i know the depth of feeling is linked to the level of fatigue

[fuwungi]

Alright so! Here’s the updates on what’s been going on! I was going to put it under a read more/cut thing but I can’t seem to figure that out on mobile so just general tw for mental health talk, trauma, etc

This isn’t going to exactly be linear or anything either cuz my minds just been all over the place but I haven’t been doing good. Haven’t been for a while. I’ve been working on getting help for years now and im thankfully seeing my therapist on the 8th and hoping this one actually stays (cuz my last trauma therapist ghosted me). I got a psych evaluation before hand that took a bit and got diagnosed with severe ptsd and bpd and also paranoid schizophrenia. I never really took my mental health seriously or as seriously as I should becuz for years I was so used to hearing from family and etc that it’s nothing, im just over thinking, “everybody does that” but it’s clearly not the case.

Everything started getting much worse in January, my health started dipping again. I had someone I considered a close friend abandon me and hurt me. Eventually my job I had pretty much set me up to be fired, me and others have considered it’s due to the fact I disclosed my diagnosis cuz it didn’t take long after for me to be fired. And what I was fired for was literally doing exactly what one of the managers told me to do. The next day I had an ex friend blow up at me and trigger my paranoia severely. And after that my abuser outted me and tried to spread harmful lies and misinfo in an attempt to I guess have me run off the internet. A little while after the shop I was apprenticing at also dropped me for my diagnosis but not until the spent a couple weeks straight up ghosting me and ignoring me for hours when I came in (I would come in to practice and work and all of my stuff was moved without telling me, and I also still don’t have any of my stuff back, and nobody would say a word to me or even look at me hardly. And after hours of waiting o would just eventually go home, which was also frustrating cuz I would have the person I’m about to practice on with me waking too. I reached out with messages abt things but was always just left on read.)

All of this just made things worse. I haven’t been able to significantly leave my house for a couple months now ( I say that cuz I still hype myself up to do smaller things like run out to pick up my meds, etc. but if there’s a way around physically doing said thing like ordering groceries, etc I take that). Outside of that I was already having a hard time getting myself to be social or talk to anyone. I haven’t really been talking to anyone or very active since 2020 (which I’m still working on fixing cuz it’s not that I don’t want to talk or anything, I want to so badly, I just really feel like I’m unable to do it).

My psych also diagnosed(? Idk if that’s the right word) me with agoraphobia. Which also explained a lot and helped me realize some things that help me cope and navigate my way socially and in life (and kinnie stuff is one of the things that really helps with that).

So at the moment I’m just freelancing and trying my best to work on myself. After finishing the rest of my comm queue I’m thinking of taking a break from taking comms and just focusing on my own/personal art and school (going for botany and economic science).

If you’ve read through this all, thank you so much for listening. I hope this was worded okay/sounds okay. And I can’t thank the ppl who continue to support me enough.

[dausy]

Hello Tumblr,

I just need to vent. It's really not that bad in the scope of things. I have a "free" home, electricity, all my hobbies in one place. I want for naught but I've had a string of things causing me some anxiety. I feel like my anxiety this move has been getting up there.

I had a job offer a few days ago and I ended up turning it down. I kinda wish I had longer to process it but I'm notorious for dragging people along because I don't like saying no. But essentially they weren't offering me enough to make me want to drive further, do higher acuity with extra work. I've been having really good days at my current work place where I honestly wonder if I'm getting too self confident or too big for my britches (i.e. I'm overly trusting of others).

I also got a really cool spanish study guide that was recommended to me. I got yelled at for practicing spanish with a person the other day. They let me know they did not appreciate my effort and I feel bad. And a little downtrodden. so..

thats just added onto ye olde ran-that-stop-sign incident that traumatized my rule-following self. And then even more, me and the dog got locked out of the house yesterday. It was my bad. My husband knew it would happen one day because I've done it before. I just have this horrible need to lock every lock on everything that has a lock. It was ridiculously windy a few days ago and the doors were acting like they were going to fling open (the dog was barking at it even) so I double locked the back door. I told myself to remember to unlock it later and I forgot. So yesterday the weather was so nice out I went outside to do yard work. Spent 2 hours in the yard and went to walk into the house to get scissors and realized the door locked behind me. I think the dog knew too. She'd been looking disappointed in me for a while. Earlier in the day I'd left the house to go grocery shopping but I had entered through the garage door and the garage was closed ofcourse. Luckily it was still "normal" working hours and I called maintenance and they came and rescued me a short time later. It was probably one of the strangest phone calls I've had though. They were like "well, we will put in a work order for you" and I was like "a work order? wait..how long does that take?" and they were like "I don't know, it goes in a queue" and I was then like "wait? a queue? I don't want to be out here for hours". But they came and rescued me about 15 mins later. Meanwhile while waiting though I got stung by something. Theres 3 puncture marks on my stomach where some creature got stuck in my shirt. I have a huge welt and rash. Right now it is contained, rest assured.

here in a just a little while me and Edie are going to doggie daycare for a temperment test. And I have been working on an illustration so maybe I'll finish this weekend?

[catgirlreisuwa]

Miri going grocery shopping with Kazuki and he preemptively asks if she wants to check the desserts they have so she does not make them spend six hours in the grocery store but once he has finished getting the vegetables he needed literally two meters away from her he turns her head and she is nowhere to be seen in the dessert aisle so he has to go look for her (she is in the frozen foods section picking up chicken nuggets because of course she is) and non confrontational as he is (and also because his roommate and co-parent really likes chicken nuggets too) he just pops them in the cart and goes to pay but oh god he doesn’t have the spare change (because of course he pays in cash) and there’s a queue forming so he hurries up and pays and asks Miri if she wants to help loading the bags but she puts all the lighter outfits in a bag and he doesn’t have time to actually make both shopping bags balanced so okay here they go they exit the store Miri keeps asking if she can have the dessert he bought but of course not because it’s in the back of the bag but she says just stop and take it out but she can’t have it because she has to wait until lunch so she throws a temper tantrum and sits down in the middle of the street in protest and oh my god these bags are so heavy why does he insist on making such huge shopping trips this is unbearable so after swearing to Miri like a hundred times that yes, she can have the dessert they bought AFTER lunch they manage to get home.

But the elevator isn’t working

Also only 30 minutes have passed since they actually went out to do the shopping but it feels like he’s aged six years

[radicalandmathematical]

The world is expecting you to have a smart phone now and that's not a good thing, no matter how "convenient" you find it to pay with your cell phone instead of a debit or credit card, or, god forbid, cash.

What happens if you forget your phone somewhere? What happens if you lose it completely? What happens if you break it? What happens if it dies and you're not near a place to charge it?

Did you bring a backup method of payment so you aren't stranded somewhere or can still get the groceries you came out to buy? Can you afford to get a new one right away? What if you have your phone but you run out of data because you're poor and can't afford much of it?

If everything is on your smart phone you have a single point of failure and you're screwed without it.

Even if you have access to another phone, do you know anyone's phone numbers to call for help? Or did you rely on your phone's address book?

The big bus stops in my area used to have maps of the routes that stopped there and the schedule. Now they have a QR code to scan. If you don't have a smart phone then you can't check the bus routes or when a bus is coming. You don't know what time it stops running, or if you should go wait in the coffee shop nearby because it will be 40 minutes and it's cold out.

My university requires you to use your cell phone to join a digital queue to see pretty much anyone for any reason. I hate it and don't see the point, it's a bunch of extra work. After making it through the cue at the registrar's office I asked what people were supposed to do if they didn't have a smart phone and they said that they could just come in and they'd put them in the queue manually, etc. But there is no sign saying this anywhere, no information about what to do in that case, which is stressful and difficult for a lot of people. It's not accessible.

Like. You need a smartphone to stand in line. How is that convenient for anyone? How can you think that's a good thing?

Or I make a phone call and it's almost impossible to talk to a god damn person about my issue. I have to go through 3 different menus and each one offers me a bunch of pre-recorded messages with the information I might be looking for but none of it fits and I'm wasting 10 minutes because I have to sit through all these options before it will give me the option to just speak to someone--if it does at all. And then because they cut staff I sit on hold for an hour until it automatically hangs up and I have to start over.

Or I wanted to book an appointment online with a university advisor, but for half the issues it offers me a webpage that doesn't have the information I need, a tool that is wrong sometimes, and no ability to book an appointment for the issue I'm having! No option to book an appointment for a reason not listed, either. Only a preset list of options, some of which will let you proceed and book an appointment, and others which will not. And oh, I do this instead of calling for an appointment because they don't make appointments via phone call anymore. I give up and have to go in person... and use my smart phone to join a line just to make that appointment :)

And you know, you use a fingerprint to get into your phone? Super convenient right? You realize the police can't make you give up your pin to access your phone, but they can make you use your fingerprint to unlock it? Protect your information. Don't use your finger print for your laptop, phone, etc.

But also... a lot of people are not the best with technology, even young ones. If your banking information is on your phone then you need to be really careful about what you download, because you might download something that compromises the information on your device, including bank information. Or you need to be really careful about using public wifi, because those aren't secure, so if you use public wifi to bank.... You can make that information vulnerable without meaning to or knowing it. There are news stories about people finding suspicious transactions that they did not make, leaving them out thousands of dollars, and the banks suggest their phone was hacked or such, and the bank isn't responsible for that.

I'm not that old, a young millennial, and I struggle with a lot of the arbitrary stuff they have us do, even though I can do it. Because it's not convenient. It's not easy. I don't want to do it that way and the fact that I'm being made to is stupid.

And yeah, so I have a lot of sympathy for those grumpy old folks who are struggling with the credit card machine because it now have 6000 steps, a touch screen instead of a key pad, and you never know if you need to tap, swipe, or insert. And I'm sympathetic to the fact that they have to deal with condescending children who don't understand that shit is legit pointlessly more complicated than it used to be and people are mad it's like this for a good reason. This doesn't seem like a big deal to young people because they don't know anything else, but trust me, if you know better, it is.

Its okay they could call me on a rotary faster than i could explain to them I’m old enough to know what a rotary phone is

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

I posted 9,257 times in 2022

97 posts created (1%)

9,160 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mcfiddlestan

@izhunny

@scottxlogan

@jcrewguy

@kleenexwoman

I tagged 9,251 of my posts in 2022

#tony stark - 1,487 posts

#loki - 1,355 posts

#bucky barnes - 1,190 posts

#this is a tony stark love blog - 647 posts

#steve rogers - 642 posts

#tom hiddleston - 548 posts

#sebastian stan - 509 posts

#robert downey jr. - 421 posts

#rdj - 396 posts

#rdj is a gift - 390 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#taika waitidiot was too obsessed with making the queer stuff a joke - just like he always seems to do - and then declare himself a big ally

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

For the meme how about Steve/Loki to spice it up a bit?

Oooooo! Fun! Thank you for the ask!

Domesticity Memes

Put a ship in my ask box and I’ll tell you:

big spoon/little spoon:

Steve and Loki switch back and forth between big spoon and little spoon because it gets uncomfortable to only sleep in one position. That said, as a rule, Loki is more often the little spoon because he likes the ability to be vulnerable with Steve because Steve respects that vulnerability (that desire to BE held) and never thinks that makes Loki weaker. tl;dr: Loki loves to BE held, and Steve loves to do the holding.

favorite non-sexual activity:

They have several. Dancing is a big one that took both of them by surprise. Cuddling up on the couch or in bed to just read (or rather, Loki tends to read, Steve draws). Another activity is Loki posing for Steve - though that one sometimes doesn't stay so chaste.

who uses all the hot water:

Steve. They're both more used to the cold than most people, but Steve's was not by choice. Loki's is by birth. Steve sometimes can't make the water hot enough, esp after he's woken up by a nightmare of being in the ice. Loki likes hot showers but not super hot. It makes his skin - even with the glamour up - sensitive. When they shower together, Steve acquiesces to not as hot of showers to make Loki comfortable.

most trivial thing they fight over:

The check at a restaurant. Or that time when Loki was still healing after a really bad battle, and Steve got caught up talking to Captain America fans at the café where he'd gone to get Loki his favorite Freakshake and took foreeeevvvvverrrrrr to get home.

who does most of the cleaning:

Loki. Loki literally does all the cleaning. He does it with a wave of his hand. Now, when he's feeling under the weather, mostly due to battle exhaustion where he's expended a lot of magical energy, Steve will insist that he do the cleaning.

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue:

Honestly, they both just sort of throw anything that looks interesting to them into the Netflix queue, and then they get busy with other stuff and forget to watch what they've shored up.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:

They both do. "Hey, Tony! You want to fix this shit?"

who steals the blankets:

Steve. Same reason as the shower issue. Steve gets colder easier, and for Loki, it's just natural. But Loki understands this and will magically adjust his body temperature and snuggle against Steve to warm him up.

who leaves their stuff around:

Both do. With Steve, it's his art supplies. With Loki, it's his books or spell components (the harmless ones).

who remembers to buy the milk:

Loki. Or at least, Loki remembers to add it to the shopping list for the communal kitchen and he's the most comfortable with going to the grocery store for their personal kitchen, though sometimes he insists that Steve go with him.

who remembers anniversaries:

Loki. Steve just gets distracted by Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D. stuff or by appearances he's expected to make at schools. It's a lot for him, but Loki is excellent at keeping track of anniversaries and birthdates. Consequently, he's also the one in charge of buying gifts for their friends to be from the both of them. (That said, Steve never forgets their anniversaries or Loki's birthday - he might just get stuck shopping last minute and asking Tony for help making reservations to nice places to take Loki to.)

Who cooks normally?

It surprised the rest of the Avengers (except Thor, who knew better), but Loki is the one who usually cooks. When they're not doing group take-out nights or group cooking together nights, Loki is the way who cooks for Steve and him.

How often do they fight?

Not that often. They snap and argue some, but that's mostly when one or both of them are tired from some long mission or after a particularly rough battle. Or when one or both are wounded and just in not great moods. Loki will especially snap when he's feeling pupset and insecure. Whatever moments they have like this don't last because they're both reasonable enough (esp Steve) to communicate over yelling.

See the full post

29 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#4

@jcrewguy @elekdragon

41 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#3

Absolutely me, a pagan

49 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

#2

If there was never canon confirmation for Kurt being naughty with his tail, it's here now.

from Legion of X 04, page 03.

57 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I am 100% not sorry for this.

118 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sparenone]

you know what ? i hit follow limit . tragic. i’ll follow the rest of you guys when tumblr decides to let me out of  follow jail .