#my problem is i draw genderbends and i make them look exactly like the canon character until you see the boobs.

[8thparadox]

Wanted to draw a butch girl!wolverine that looks just as rabid and smells just as bad as boy!wolverine.

[earthflaxmachina]

The Metahistory of David and Aurèle

Requested by an instagram user.

They're only from 2022 but they have a funny contextual origin lol. once again I wont be including every single image of them cuz most of them are on derekdemetripoo.

Edit: I was going to title this a "Brief" metahistory but it's actually almost as long as Paz's so it's not so brief actually.

HONOURABLE MENTION 1 - LIFE: 5th August 2021

Figure 1. Death and Life | Figure 2. Death and Life bio, both 5/8/21

This has no relation to David or Aurele per se, but it should be mentioned the similar themes of opposites and yin and yang. Plus none of this is on derekdemetripoo so I might as well archive it. This was after Devil's Adequate era during early office era. Death had a sibling that was supposed to contrast with him. Hence, Life. I mostly wanted to do something with the reflected wound infliction trope. Later on she would become Devil.

HONOURABLE MENTION 2 - DEVIL: 4th September 2021

Figure 3. Devil first appearance (4/9/21) | Figure 4. Death and Devil (5th September 2021)

I reconceptualized Life to be a bigger contrast, hence the dark grey skin opposed to Death's light gray skin. Also: red vs blue. Still twins by now. More Devil art:

Figure 5. Death and Devil bio (8/9/21) | Figure 6. Death and Devil smoking lead (9/9/21) | Figure 7. Death and Devil commenting on Harlow's picture (13/9/21)

Figure 8. Devil reading (29/9/21) | Figure 9. Genderbend Devil (20/1/22) | Figure 10. Devil's origin (20/1/22)

In Figure 6, they're meant to be sitting on something, but nothing's there so it looks weird. Also they were aroace (see: the flag), but now I don't think much on Derek's (Death) sexuality. The girl with the crop-top in Figure 7 was originally an adopt named Kehlani, but I don't have much use for her anymore so I'm trying to resell her on toyhouse.

Figure 9, as bad as it looks, Death is supposed to be in shock. Even though Death has the ability to shapeshift, he probably didn't do it as much or to the same degree that Devil did. As implied by Figure 10 (a rewrite of Devil's origins), Devil has a bit of an identity problem because he wasn't born as his own person, but rather a clone of Death, so he probably shapeshifted pretty liberally to make up for his lack of individuality. Pretty interesting concept, too bad it's not canon anymore. By Figure 9, we had already made it into early TBOD development. This would be the end of Devil. The only relevance he bears now is his shared tail shape with Aurele.

AURELE'S CONCEPTION: 11th September 2022 (hashtag never forget)

Figure 11. What would eventually become the basis of the au (11/9/22)

Almost exactly 2 years ago I drew this doodle of Aarum with short hair. The idea was to draw him and Derek with swapped hairstyles (Aarum short and Derek long) but I gave up on Derek because he looks ugly w long hair. This was also supposed to be a roleswap au, so that's why Aarum has a weird choker instead of his scar. In the end since I gave up on drawing swapped Derek it just looks like Aarum wearing a choker, which is ooc. lol

AURELE'S CREATION: 19th October 2022

Figure 12. Aurele's first ref (19/10/22)

So this was when I decided to actually start cooking up the swap au. You can tell at this time Aurele was more like Aarum instead of a separate identity. The part about emotions doesn't really make sense because if he were what Derek is, he wouldn't have any to begin with, but maybe he chose to turn them on.

The pet panther thing does carry on to modern Aurele. Here is name is "Aurélien" and it was later that I gave him the nickname Aurele for short. Whether or not his name is still Aurélien I don't really care, I'm gonna keep calling him Aurele.

DAVID'S CREATION: 20th October 2022 (my birthday!!!!)

Figure 13. David's first concept | Figure 14. David's first bio, both 20/10/22

On my 17th birthday, I created David!!!! So he shares his conceptual birthday with me, but his canonical one with Derek. To this day I still love the David I drew with his bio, it's so insanely sexy even though it was the first time I'd properly drawn him. Very proud of that. He has never looked as good I'm afraid.

Now the swap au was complete. Back then I gave David the same surname was Derek because they're the same, duh. I later changed it to Demos to separate them as different characters. Since this was an au there was no kind of canon within it, whatever I happened to draw of it had little relevance or weight. Also, the infamous gay sex angst:

Figure 15. First sex on main (14th November 2022)

I still chuckle about how serious I was when I posted this. Needless to say it's not canon at all. It honestly reads better as David x Aarum than David and Aurele.

AURELE REBRAND: 10th December 2022

Figure 16. Aurele redesign (10/12/22) | Figure 17. Aurele and Derek (14/12/22)

Now came the era of true Aurele. He was no longer an Aarum copy but his own, chaotic person. Ultimately this is a way more interesting take on the swap au because if you had that much power you'd turn out different too. Also taking into account the sheer lack of social interaction that comes with it, making him more dense than Aarum is.

Figure 18. Derek and Aurele again (11th March 2023)

From time to time I would draw Derek and Aurele together as a funny hypothetical situation. It was never canon.

SIDEBAR: DAVID'S INTERESTS PT 1

Figure 19. David and The Muppets (1/02/23)

It was around this time that I got hyperfixated on The Muppets so I made it one of David's interests. Weirdly enough, he had the kermit tie when I first drew him (before my Muppets fixation), so that interest was already there, but it was an arbitrary decision. I only amplified it after it became a hyperfixation. By the way, I have his tie irl. I don't have that exact watch, but a close one. I hid it somewhere in my room because the ticking was driving me insane, I think it's still somewhere there.

THE WHITE HOLE THEORY: 27th November 2023 onwards

Figure 20. First concept of the White Hole theory (27/11/23)

The caption on the original instagram post:

"essentially this theory suggests dereks universe was actually created by aurele destroying his (inspired by an existing take on the big bang) bc he wanted to give david all his power to see what he could do w it. which was basically a reset but w david (now derek) in power and having forgotten everything. aurele was still sprinkled around in the new universe, thats what aarum is. he is as much aurele as derek is david. which is to say, sort of, in essence!. so yeas. i guess u could say. love endures 😊❤️! i also like this theory bc it implies derek isnt alone in that aurele was like him before the restart. but they cant ever meet in their true /essences/. only with one being sort of a reincarnation of themself this isnt to say both universes are exactly the same, bc theyre not. for one, derek's universe is actually a multiverse. bc derek created the multiverse (youll see why in the book), whereas aureles was just one this is not canon lol im just having fun, call it dubiously canon...."

That's about it. It basically still holds up to modern development. Now there was some weight to this au, in that it might not even be an au! it might be the u! but before the u even existed. Fun!

Figure 21. Aurele painting (26/8/24)

DAVID LORE UPDATE: 4th June 2024

Figure 22. David facts (4/6/24)

Felt it was somewhat relevant to include this. A bit more about David's origins however his birth year here is 1935 instead of 1937, so he would've been 34 when he died. Maybe it was a mistake, or maybe it was a lore change. Not sure. I think I like 32 better.

SIDEBAR: DAVID'S INTERESTS PART 2

Figure 23. David and Aarum (15th May 2024) | Figure 24. First appearance of David's art (11th August 2024)

I had already been entertaining the idea of David being interested in animation (like me~~~~) and I eventually made it canon (Figure 23). From that interest, he'd also know how to draw and maybe even animate (Figure 24), his art style was inspired by Hanna-Barbera cartoons & The Beatles cartoon, both of which were around when he was alive.

From Figure 24, I began to think of another plot point in David's afterlife, from the patreon:

"if u didnt catch the august request dump, davids fake imaginary girlfriend is charlotte and i think after he died aurele would offer to make her real but it wouldnt work out bc of the ethical concerns."

Figure 25. David and Charlotte (22/8/24)

Everything after December 2023 is pretty streamline, so there's no need to really talk about those individually. There is actually a bit of plot in David & Aurele's life, but I never wrote it or drew it or even talked about it. I just thunk it. I will probably get into that in the future. Now I'm really sleepy after writing all this.

Figure 26. David and Aurele by David (21/8/24)

Hope you enjoyed, goodbye.

[curiosity-killed]

super long rambling and a fair bit of whining abt my relationship with dance AUs bc this is what my brain chose to fixate on for my whole extremely sloggish run

Because I love dance and because I love writing and because I do rather a lot of both, I pretty consistently struggle with my complete and utter block on writing dance AUs and I’ve basically realized that it comes down to a three-prong barricade that gets progressively harder to overcome as you move through it

Because part of it is just technical. Writing about dance is hard from a dancer’s perspective. I know dance, I know the mechanics of it and the sensations of it. I can walk you through the technical details of a 3-minute variation and I can tell you how my heart lifts and body fills with light the moment I step onto the stage. I can give you the nitty gritty and I can give you the grand metaphors—and I cannot for the life of me balance the lens on the middle ground.

I got asked on bumble what my favorite dance step is and immediately answered tour jete (or entrelace, depending on your school). And then, because the person wasn’t a dancer, I followed up with, “it’s a big fun jump that makes you feel like you’re flying.”

Yeah. That clears everything up.

A story cannot be made by a Big Jump That Feels Like Flying. Do you know how many steps that could cover?? Hell, how many disciplines?? A barrel leap is a big jump that can feel like flying. So is an Italian pas de chat. All three of these are  w i l d l y  different steps.

So there’s the words but—how to translate a language of precise motion and sweeping emotion into plain language accessible to people who haven’t grown up in this pidgin tongue of bad French and weird metaphors. Tombe pas de bourre glissade pas de chat contre temps—this is my language of dance. This is not only clear instruction on what steps to take but also the rhythm of it conveyed in the syllables and accents. I read this and not only see the dance across stage but feel the sway of my torso as I mark along, the flick of my wrist as I shape the steps before they’re taken, physical reminders of 17 years of training and study.

A reader reads this and their eyes glaze over and roll back in their heads.

To go the opposite way, to lay it all out in the actual physical motions is, if possible, even worse. Fall (gracefully) onto your right leg while extending your left with pointed foot to cross your left behind your right to step your right to the side to— *gasp for breath* Yeah, no.

The solution to this, in theory, is the kind of checklist I go through while performing: emotion, motion, technique. (Incidentally, this is the opposite of my checklist while rehearsing or taking class) Draw the reader in with the feel of it, move them with familiar steps, punctuate with the details. In theory. I’ve yet to make it work.

And then there’s the fact that I have had a very weird education and career in dance. I grew up dancing in the rural Midwest US—not exactly a hub of performing arts (and if you mention Joffrey, I will kindly invite you to look up “rural” and then look at Chicago). 

The vast majority of dancers in the rural midwest (...RMWUS??) go to competition schools. Think Dance Moms, high kicks and tricks on Instagram, trophies and tiaras. 

I.....went to a university.

We learned more about kinesiology than kicks. My teachers were fascinated by the way I could “jump like a boy” and didn’t once mention my waist circumference. It would be a lie to say it was all daisies and sweetcakes. We were competitive. Sometimes we were brats. We learned to push through severe physical pain and turned perfectionism to a weapon. Teachers had favorites and older girls could be downright mean.

But, having now danced at a competition studio, it was wildly different. When there were tears in the dressing room, it was because we were graduating and going far across the country from each other—not because a teacher had come in and yelled at the entire cast for 15 minutes right before the show. When auditions came around, we discussed each other’s strengths and weaknesses and together determined what we thought the best casting would be (tbc we did not have a say in casting, it was all just a thought exercise). 

We learned about dance not as an isolated thing we do but as a part of life—dance as an expression of culture, dance as a remarkable maximization of the human body—and are still always welcomed home.

I do, if I’m totally honest, think I got a better education than people at competition schools. But when it comes to writing fanfic...this is not a model of dance that is super easily accessible. Competition dance is on TV, Instagram, it’s all over. A rigorous academic approach to modern ballet...is not.

Lastly and ultimately the biggest stumbling block is: dance has always been a very gendered experience for me. My weird university education was surprisingly queer and unsurprisingly liberal, but I am a ballerina—not a danseur, not a ballet dancer. I grew up huddling under the edge of the grand piano with my friends hastily sewing pointe shoes and tingling with anticipation when we were finally old enough to wear platter tutus. I grew up pulling my hair back in tight buns and only being allowed to wear small earrings in class when I was in high school. 

There’s some crossover of course. I’ve got (as Colorado Ballet says) Mad Hops so my teacher would make me do men’s tempo jumps while the rest of the girls stood on the side and caught their breath. My partner for a pas de deux fell sick one tech week so my best friend, female, partnered me instead. 

Men can (and increasingly do) train in pointe shoes and wear tutus. Look at James B. Whiteside and Harper Watters for some of the most obvious examples. It is wonderful and remarkable to see gender roles changing in ballet and dance and that should be expressed in fiction as well. Men dance. Men do ballet and not just to hold up the women or to do big jumps. They can point their feet too, y’all.

(Here is where the whining really begins. Just so you’re warned.)

But when I sit down to write, the stories I want to tell are the stories I know—queer women growing up and training and learning together and challenging and supporting each other. The way you are taught ballet is very dependent on your gender. Men can train in pointe shoes, but that’s not the classical or traditional route. 

While my friends and I were taping our toes and grimacing about dead shanks, the guys in our cohort were in a separate class learning how to perform big jumps and turns in second. While I was cinching tight my friend’s corset-back bodice, the guys were in tights and a shirt. Again with the jumps—it wasn’t that I was a good jumper or that I was a strong jumper, it was that I jumped like a man. It was a compliment, but it was also an exception.

Meanwhile, most of my fandoms are very heavily male. The one time I attempted to write a dance AU was for VLD and I immediately ran into the baffling problem of “There are too many boys.” As someone who’s danced my whole life...this is not (usually) a problem in the real world of dance. If I write AUs about the main characters, I am writing about male dancers. Again, great! We need more positive and varied depictions of men dancing—but it’s not what I want to write.

I wrote out an entire paragraph here only to realize that the crux of the problem is actually the usual crux of my problem with gender in fanfiction and it is, quite simply: I want more well-developed female characters. Because I can write a story about side characters, but there’s so much less to go on — and sometimes, that’s where the fun comes in. Getting to play with and create a wealth of history and character for a written-off member of the cast can be really fun. But, for me at least, the delight of AUs is slipping in and twisting around canon in a new context.

If I write a wangxian ballet AU, Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation can be traded for his switching abruptly to a new studio—one that uses harsh methods, demands too much from him, cuts him off from the people he used to dance with—all so that the money from his tuition can be turned to help Jiang Cheng continue at his chosen academy and pursue dance professionally. It’s a stretch, it’s a twist, but it’s within a frame readers recognize.

If I write a ballet AU with Jiang Yanli and Wen Qing...well, it’s all free form. We have so little to go on that you can make it work—Cloud Recesses becomes a summer intensive, Wen Ruohan’s conquest becomes the buying out and closing of the Jiang academy for some new development—but there’s less resonance. We’re on new ground and the reader has to offer up a lot more trust and disbelief. 

Which I suppose leads us to genderbends?? Good lord. I do not know my own feelings about that enough to go anywhere. b l a r g h

so i guess this is all to say: writing good, dance good, writing dance hard. pouty face pouty face pouty face :<