#my prediction: a lot worse
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finishing heavensward tomorrow. how worse do you think it's gonna make nika :)))
#nero plays ffxiv#my prediction: a lot worse#he's already offering people their parents' hearts on a silver platter#everyone but estinien already is hella concerned about him#basically nika and estinien are two angrii besties who may or may not hook up later after nika's romance with minfilia (if there was any)#.. goes to shit#atm artoirel and nika are endgame but we'll see
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If there's one thing I've respectively noticed from Zionists and defenders of Israeli war crimes, it's that every source, argument and potential avenue to explore each explanation is riddled with cherry picking, moving the goalposts and mental gymnastics to explain why their conclusions, which typically are barely even related to the sources they use, somehow overshadow literal reality and what we see with our own eyes.
While scrolling, one example I came across was the repetitive misrepresentation of BLM, antifa and quotes from Martin Luther King Jr, as well as statistics, scholarly journal articles and government website information. These are all good sources, yet every single time they're mangled completely until the only possible "interpretation" of any of them is "well Israel is right to defend itself after shorting rockets beforehand because the retaliation was brutal and all Arabs are bad by default therefore". As if any of these sources are even about individual exceptions of Israel versus hatred towards Arabs.
I think what I find most absurd, as someone in the middle of their own studies, is how every bit of critical thinking and logic goes out the window as they do every single thing possible to do what professors worldwide say NOT to do when evaluating sources. It's like watching a race to see who can tangle and misconstrue scientific information to fit their world view the fastest. Then said people say "um actually I studied at university before so it's actually not wrong that I'm doing this exact this everyone is warned not to do because I have a permit". Ignorance I can forgive, but willful and arrogant manipulation? That's another thing entirely.
#zionism#my gods y'all need to get a grip and start remembering that confirmation bias exists#and y'all use sources continually in this way while just generally having so much bs of presenting How To Not Use My Own Sources#or actually to be more correct you clearly do know you just choose not to because you'd rather be justified in resource theft and profit#Like the while tome it's been about either material gain or feeling good about yourself while you shit on strangers#and then I also see y'all make other accounts ro harass random Arabs for fun and random queers who aren't even related like#the fuck is wrong with y'all go sit down and think about why you all do this pointless bs#it's such a waste of your own life spending it looking for fights to help with your bottomless insecurities#Israel#fuck israel#long live palestine#like you can say hamas was bad all you like it doesn't actually change the situation and what y'all have been doing for 76 years#and actually longer but y'all arent ready for that conversation and how Zionists butchered Jews and helped Nazi Germany historically#like sorry that Was a thing that happened and if you want to label yourselves as The Sacred Protectors of Jews then you have to face that#Pretending history didn't happen isn't helpful to anyone including yourselves y'all just making Zionism look even worse and like idiocy#I mean it is but you all aren't helping yourselves by being literal holocaust deniers#and being like âbut Zionists saved Jews afterwardsâ as if that somehow erases the fact they ALSO helped the Nazis#like history is full of contradictory bullshit so when you say âbut what about thisâ you know that doesn't erase the other things right??#âThat's worse. You DO see how that's worse right?â#I'm shaking you all and yelling this like it is WORSE that they killed Jews and then started playing the saviour and fellow victims#You do see how that is really bad for Jews today to be in a place created for political power plays and material gain through any means#like you see how that could be REALLY dangerous for Jews if they're that expendable to Zionist entities and the government#and you do realise that is literally what we are seeing from the actions of said government#and how they acting sadly very predictablely when you consider the historical contexts for its existence?#People who research this shit aren't surprised because it happens every single year and has been happening for centuries -#- before Israel the holocaust etc. It's been like this for as long as political Zionism and the French Revolution#It's been going on since pre Marxism and pre a lot of differing things but y'all pretend Zionists haven't ever harmed Jews ever when -#- there's a long history of internal conflict and in fighting that formed modern Zionism and plenty of internalised antisemetism within it#Yeah there's a genuine desire for return to the land (Not Own It just return and live peacefully)#but that is very very different to Political Zionism that formed as a socialist nationalist movement
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the downfall and execution of a tudor queen (2023) / the boleyns: a scandalous family (2021) / the king's pearl: henry viii and his daughter mary (2017), melita thomas / anne boleyn (tv miniseries 2021) / the mirror and the light (2024) / elizabeth (1998)
#web weaving#sort of?#i never feel like my edits really fit#they're more like collages#anyway...me on my island with the one other tudor fan that liked AB 2021 lol#'our expectations were low but holy fuck' sounds like a lot of consternation about a pretty...solid script?#what i loved most about it was moments like the above#the ability to summarize really complex dynamics borne of circumstance#in such a way that you can believe in the world and it serves as its own 'previously on' that a miniseries inherently lacks#esp when it only covers five crucial months#tl; dr there's a lot of smugness evident in many books of this genre#when it comes to anne's attitude towards her stepdaughter#bcus she was quote proven wrong unquote; becaues mary got quote the last laugh unquote...#when really. as per the quotes i've been posting#it doesn't seem like mary's reconciliation with her father was the idyll many have made it#thus we have anne's letter#and offer. knowing that others are offering her better futures#but saying this is the best future you could have. limited time only.#and it seems the future proved her right; not wrong (at least the immediate future)#bcs while matters; had she accepted; might not've been substantially better than they were under the auspices of a 'more gentle' stepmother#it also doesn't really seem like they would have been substantially worse#anne was right that her enemy's supporters wanted her disgraced and/or dead. she was right in that they wanted elizabeth disgraced#and/or dead. she couldn't have predicted what happened to herself in the exact matter it did- mainly bcus it was unprecedented#but it seems she had a pretty clear view of what mary was doing: playing both sides. attempting to ingratiate herself to her father while#also conspiring against him. and she knew it would have been better to have her on side#(and in a more jaundiced view: have her where she could watch what she was doing; who she was seeing)#but perhaps underestimated how impossible it would be to get her there in the first place#('on side' ; that is. not at court. although probably not that either. with the conditions she demanded)#but her fears of mary were not paranoia. they seem to have been grounded in realism#and a clear view of the situation at home and abroad
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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re: post from like a million hours ago. is svu like. a good show to watch like no thoughts head empty. im getting thru criminal minds at a concerning rate and need a follow up đ
ummmm okay so I just don't watch tv very much and it's like. well there's this whole list of reasons why it sucks most pertaining to It's blatant and stupid copaganda in a million ways but in general yes. it's very episodic and it follows a very clear formula of case, plot twist one, police brutality, plot twist 2, villainization of some not cop institution, 80% the bad guys ends on trial or dead. So in that sense I think it is good to watch if you just care for easy entertainment
#star asks#In other words it's like way worse than criminal minds or house or even similar shows but it's like very predictable and the plot twists ar#always really funny so it becomes nice to watch to us#idk how you feel about needless violence this show has a lot of that and I just close my eyes cause I don't care for it so there's that#I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE LIKE IDK I JUST DONT KNOWW. I LIKE IT ENOUGH
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looking up info on keloid scarring is so helpful. thanks man I didn't think of trying that one
#well actually that kind of is relevant bc ive been trying to find more info abt tattooing keloid prone skin#which is effectively opting to wound urself. but everywhere is just like if ur keloid prone ummm. Don't do it đ#theres not enough known abt keloids to predict if theyll be triggered or not by the healing process like it depends on so many things#i mostly get them from acne scars. but they dont always immediately appear sometimes its weeks or months after#n once u get them theyre permanent. treatments for them have a 100% rate of recurrence n will grow back bigger if u try to excise them#and they cant be tattooed over like other scars bc they dont hold ink n the irritation can cause them to get bigger too#it depends a lot on the tattoo artists skill/experience ig like u have to know Exactly how deep ur tattooing + how the wound will heal#bc if healing triggers keloids. well ill just end up with permanent scarring instead theres nothing i can do if it happens#which honestly might still look cool but its unpredictable bc they tend to extend past the original wound. n it wouldnt scar uniformly#urgh. i should probably talk to a gp n an actual tattooist abt it. i could ask to get like a rly small tattoo to test how my skin reacts#pointless thinking abt rn anyway cuz im not gonna get one any time soon i have some other shit to sort before that#but it would be so frustrating if i cant i have so many tattoo ideas i do rly want them.... :-(#ah well whatever.. im just procrastinating doing shit i need to crack on bc i cant spend another entire weekend doing nothing#after a month n a half of being on meds i feel like theyre becoming less effective. my task paralysis n focus is getting worse again :(#like its taking more and more effort its been rly noticeable at work. hoping its just bc of general mental health or poor sleep or smth#and not that im building tolerance or smth bc man. what else can i even do if that happens#this is gonna make me miserable to think abt so lets go do smth else!#at least i woke up feeling tons better today đȘđȘđȘ storm passed baby#.diaries
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hnnnnnnnnnnnmmnn its overshare on the internet o clock
#my shitty ex has sent me a text asking to meet up and talk#and in a predictable move the text itself doesnt actually apologize or acknowledge that she did anything fucked up#it instead says 'we both did some pretty messed up stuff' which. uh. yeah. cool. thanks.#thats like prefacing an apology with 'first of all i still blame you but i guess i couuuldve had something to do with it'#and like. sheesh. my first instinct is to politely say absolutely not jesus christ how do you have the gall to ask me that#i could go my entire life without interacting with you ever again and i would be nothing but better off for it#but. i have not sent that yet. and it has been a while. because i really miss the friend group she....not stole exactly but#because i do not want to be in the same space as her i just. dont get to be around them much any more.#and fuck. i miss my dog so so much. i love lucas too but sarah was the first dog i raised from a baby#and she was just one of those animals that are just. like you love them all but some are different in a way where they're a part of you.#and sarah was mine and she took her from me and ive just barely gotten over it#i dont know if being able to see her again would make it worse or better.#but instinct is telling me to tell her that no theres no chance of us being friends. i need to protect myself and value my own wellbeing.#and that its not that i hate her because i dont but i do intensely dislike the ugly person i realized shes become#and i refuse to continue to let myself be hurt by that without speaking up.#but i still!!! havent!!! said no!!!!!#if i could manage it. and get through a talk with her. and be very clear that im here to attempty just...neutrality and a lack of hostility#and that friendship is not on the table. prep myself on my boundaries and rules for what i will not put up with#and accept that if she does something shitty in response to me keeping myself safe then i have to be prepared to call it off immediately#then. i would see my friends again a lot more often than just one on one every couple months because every group thing involves her#fuck. i dont know. i really really dont want to talk to her ever again but god fucking dammit.#im prepared to move on and rebuild my life and invest in other relationships. i am. ive done it before and slowly built from the ground up.#i can do it again. but it fucking sucks when its most of my irl friends all at once.#idk. idk. i miss my dog so much it hurts but it would be much worse to see her now after how my ex treats her when im not there to stop it#its just something i cant let myself think about or ill just spiral and i cant do that. theres nothing i can do about it. i cant stop it.#fuck.
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Whoâs your go-to romantic partner in Stardew Valley?
I wanna test a theory
ahhhhh, it's Shane!!! đ«Ł
#im litro the most predictable person ever#messy men with đ«issuesđ« my type#ones you can either save or make worse#but i did romance Harvey a lot in the beginning when i first started playing
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No paywall version here.
"Two and a half years ago, when I was asked to help write the most authoritative report on climate change in the United States, I hesitated...
In the end, I said yes, but reluctantly. Frankly, I was sick of admonishing people about how bad things could get. Scientists have raised the alarm over and over again, and still the temperature rises. Extreme events like heat waves, floods and droughts are becoming more severe and frequent, exactly as we predicted they would. We were proved right. It didnât seem to matter.
Our report, which was released on Tuesday, contains more dire warnings. There are plenty of new reasons for despair. Thanks to recent scientific advances, we can now link climate change to specific extreme weather disasters, and we have a better understanding of how the feedback loops in the climate system can make warming even worse. We can also now more confidently forecast catastrophic outcomes if global emissions continue on their current trajectory.
But to me, the most surprising new finding in the Fifth National Climate Assessment is this: There has been genuine progress, too.
Iâm used to mind-boggling numbers, and there are many of them in this report. Human beings have put about 1.6 trillion tons of carbon in the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution â more than the weight of every living thing on Earth combined. But as we wrote the report, I learned other, even more mind-boggling numbers. In the last decade, the cost of wind energy has declined by 70 percent and solar has declined 90 percent. Renewables now make up 80 percent of new electricity generation capacity. Our countryâs greenhouse gas emissions are falling, even as our G.D.P. and population grow.
In the report, we were tasked with projecting future climate change. We showed what the United States would look like if the world warms by 2 degrees Celsius. It wasnât a pretty picture: more heat waves, more uncomfortably hot nights, more downpours, more droughts. If greenhouse emissions continue to rise, we could reach that point in the next couple of decades. If they fall a little, maybe we can stave it off until the middle of the century. But our findings also offered a glimmer of hope: If emissions fall dramatically, as the report suggested they could, we may never reach 2 degrees Celsius at all.
For the first time in my career, I felt something strange: optimism.
And that simple realization was enough to convince me that releasing yet another climate report was worthwhile.
Something has changed in the United States, and not just the climate. State, local and tribal governments all around the country have begun to take action. Some politicians now actually campaign on climate change, instead of ignoring or lying about it. Congress passed federal climate legislation â something Iâd long regarded as impossible â in 2022 as we turned in the first draft.
[Note: She's talking about the Inflation Reduction Act and the Infrastructure Act, which despite the names were the two biggest climate packages passed in US history. And their passage in mid 2022 was a big turning point: that's when, for the first time in decades, a lot of scientists started looking at the numbers - esp the ones that would come from the IRA's funding - and said "Wait, holy shit, we have an actual chance."]
And while the report stresses the urgency of limiting warming to prevent terrible risks, it has a new message, too: We can do this. We now know how to make the dramatic emissions cuts weâd need to limit warming, and itâs very possible to do this in a way thatâs sustainable, healthy and fair.
The conversation has moved on, and the role of scientists has changed. Weâre not just warning of danger anymore. Weâre showing the way to safety.
I was wrong about those previous reports: They did matter, after all. While climate scientists were warning the world of disaster, a small army of scientists, engineers, policymakers and others were getting to work. These first responders have helped move us toward our climate goals. Our warnings did their job.
To limit global warming, we need many more people to get on board... We need to reach those who havenât yet been moved by our warnings. Iâm not talking about the fossil fuel industry here; nor do I particularly care about winning over the small but noisy group of committed climate deniers. But I believe we can reach the many people whose eyes glaze over when they hear yet another dire warning or see another report like the one we just published.
The reason is that now, we have a better story to tell. The evidence is clear: Responding to climate change will not only create a better world for our children and grandchildren, but it will also make the world better for us right now.
Eliminating the sources of greenhouse gas emissions will make our air and water cleaner, our economy stronger and our quality of life better. It could save hundreds of thousands or even millions of lives across the country through air quality benefits alone. Using land more wisely can both limit climate change and protect biodiversity. Climate change most strongly affects communities that get a raw deal in our society: people with low incomes, people of color, children and the elderly. And climate action can be an opportunity to redress legacies of racism, neglect and injustice.
I could still tell you scary stories about a future ravaged by climate change, and theyâd be true, at least on the trajectory weâre currently on. But itâs also true that we have a once-in-human-history chance not only to prevent the worst effects but also to make the world better right now. It would be a shame to squander this opportunity. So I donât just want to talk about the problems anymore. I want to talk about the solutions. Consider this your last warning from me."
-via New York Times. Opinion essay by leading climate scientist Kate Marvel. November 18, 2023.
#WE CAN DO THIS#I SO TRULY BELIEVE THAT WE CAN DO THIS#WE CAN SAVE OURSELVES AND THE WORLD ALONG WITH US#climate crisis#united states#climate change#conservation#hope posting#sustainability#climate news#climate action#climate emergency#fossil fuels#global warming#environmentalism#climate hope#solarpunk#climate optimism#climate policy#earth#science#climate science#meteorology#extreme weather#renewable energy#solar power#wind power#renewables#carbon emissions#climate justice
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I needed this daily affirmation so thank you very OP and everyone who has added to this post.
Just a little daily affirmation:
Youâll never be worse at writing than the people at the CW. Your writing will always be better than Riverdale and the SPN finale. You are a better writer
#ngl i think about this a lot when writing#like ''hm is this too predictable or cliché or self-indulgent?''#''well some people have written much worse and THEY'RE GETTING FUCKING PAID so''#<- not my tags but very prescient advise#writing advise
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Helloo!! Sooo I have a picture of mgg as my lock screen but his face isnât in the picture and I was wonderinggg if you could write about the girls at the bau seeing your background of your phone and itâs some guy but they donât know itâs spencer and they ask all these questions about this mysterious secret boyfriend you have and asking to meet him and r is just like maybeeee idk knowing that they have in fact met him and maybe spencer is near by and hearing all this and is just all shy and flustered. If you do write this THANK YOUUU youâre writing it phenomenal, one of a kind, itâs so good!!! <333
"Woah, hubba hubba," JJ's eyes bug out at your phone screen, and Emily, forever on JJ's wavelength, snatches it out of your hands before you can properly dim the screen.
"Who is that?" Emily asks everyone's burning question, and one of Penelope's hands squeezes yours, with nails, to emphasize her urgency.
Your lock screen is a picture of Spencer's bare chest clad only in a blazer, the front open in a lewd V that showcases the dark pink kiss marks you'd spread across the smattering of wiry curls he's grown. It's not something you'd meant to flash your coworkers with, and Spencer chokes on his water while Derek hoots and hollers at it.
"There are some things that should be kept private," Rossi drawls, eyes wide and haunted as he stands, "I'm going to get Aaron and myself another refill, just in case any worse pictures get shown around the table."
Hotch laughs at the older man, amusement lining his features handsomely as the group continues to tease you.
"So, when are you bringing this guy around? Not that we'd recognize him anyways, unless he showed up shirtless with lipstick all over him."
"Derek, you-" You barely stop yourself from saying, 'you have met him', instead swerving into an easy insult, "You're the last person I want to introduce him to. You'll never let us live this down."
"None of us will." Prentiss promises, her grin wolfish, "You'll be lucky if Garcia doesn't manage to track him down using nipple-recognition software."
Your technical analyst cackles into her drink, and Spencer makes a hasty getaway.
"I need the bathroom," He paws with burning cheeks at Derek's leg, ushering the man out of his way so that he can speed-walk to the bathroom. You watch him go, hearing Hotch let out a rare laugh at his urgency.
"Poor Spence," JJ croons, "Did you see how red his face was?"
"That kid's almost thirty and I bet he can't even say the word 'sex' without blushing." Derek scoffs.
"He can't. I've seen it." Garcia confirms, "It's pathetic."
"Pathetic," You snort, but what your team hears as agreement, you mean as contradiction. Spencer was nothing close to pathetic that night- sweet and tender, yes, but pathetic, no. He'd cupped your face while you'd spread a smattering of sticky kisses across his chest, and he'd stared into your eyes when you'd taken the picture, a smile on his face even though he'd known his grin wouldn't be in frame.
"Well get all of it out now," Hotch advises, a teasing tone in his voice, "Spencer won't come back if we're still talking about it."
"I'm happy for you." Dave states, setting his and Aaron's drinks down, "But so help me, Y/N, if I ever see your boyfriend's naked torso again, I'll kill myself."
You refrain from telling Rossi he had just seen your boyfriend's bare torso, last week when Spencer had needed to be stripped of his cold, wet clothes, and thrust into a heated blanket for warmth. No one had batted an eye at his brief nudity, and neither had you, because you'd memorized every inch of his skin. You didn't need to ogle him; you could recall his body from memory.
"I'll keep that in mind." You nod at Rossi sagely, "Just don't go through the rest of my camera roll." You see Spencer exit the bathroom, peering cautiously at your table to see if he can predict the conversation before returning, "Or you'll find a lot worse than his chest."
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one-shot#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid headcanons#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid hc#spencer reid hcs#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid dialogue#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fanfiction#spencer reid smut
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mario movie is as dumb and cringe as it looked from the trailers which means the best you can hope for is that its cute and fun. which it was to be fair
#bojus points for not being as predictable as i thought it was gonna be#like given all the annoying tropes they went with its about as good as it couldve gotten#and i actually do want to watch it again its legitimately a lot of fun#i still kind of wish that wasnt. the Best i couldve hoped for though#like mario is so classic and fun and the characters have so much personality with so little dialog#i still wish they didnt get the fucking. illumination loser voiced by chris pratt has a bully and a dumb dad ans a girlboss gf routine#it couldve been a lot worse but it Shouldve been better thats my whoke thing#i realized i didnt makw this post the other day oops lol#dottxt#partially related but its so silly how mario hates mushrooms#LIKE its such a corny ass detail but i was amused bybit anyway i felt like a boomer mom smiling at a minion meme watching this movie
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The Fool
Summary: As you lie, nestled into Astarionâs chest, he considers his feelings - his damned, complicated feelings.
Alternatively, Astarion experiences all 5 stages of grief in 10 minutes.
Rating: T Word Count: 816 Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Content: First person Astarion POV, fluff and angst, rather a lot of angst actually, feelings denial, Astarion needs a hug, cuddling, Astarion's simple plan beginning to fall apart.
Want to hear this fic read aloud with absolutely pristine acting by the incredibly talented CurlyChops on AO3? Have a listen here!
A/N: You know when youâre lying in bed, unable to sleep until you write down that idea thatâs managed to worm its way into your brain at unspeakable hours of the night? Here we have a slightly angsty drabble that decided to do just that! After the reception to the Gale first person POV, I wanted to try my hand at an Astarion POV. Hopefully you enjoy!
A fool lies in this tent.
Look at you, nestled into my side, sleeping peacefully against my chest as if a vampireâs embrace is the safest place in all the realms. Utterly ridiculous. So trusting, so⊠pliant. All according to plan, really. I set the trap - a few choice words here, a few lingering touches there - and you walked right into it. Just like I knew you would.
Just like all the others do.
Well, not quite like all the others. You actually believe there's something redeemable in me, don't you? How deliciously naĂŻve.
Do you even realise what you've fallen for? What I am? A monster, a liar, a parasite. Oh, my dear, the fool you are.
Though I suppose your particular brand of foolishness has its⊠uses. Your blind faith in my redemption is almost charming.
No. Not charming. Itâs pathetic. Pathetically predictable. It canât be charming. Because, if it is, Iâm no better than the fool I mock.
You shift slightly in your sleep, and I resist the urge to recoil. This charade - this playing at romance, at desire - it shouldnât affect me so. Iâm above this. Iâve spent centuries perfecting the art of manipulation, of taking what I need. It was supposed to be easy: charm you, bed you, and secure my safety. A means to an end. But as I lay here, with your warmth pressed against me, my chest begins to tighten. Not in fear or hunger, but in something⊠complicated.
Anger begins to burn at the back of my throat. Good. Anger is familiar. Itâs safer, easier to control.
This is your fault, you know. No, worse - itâs mine. My fault that I have been reduced to this - a creature desperate enough to sell the only scraps of autonomy I have left. You think this closeness is love, donât you? But itâs not. Itâs survival. It has always been survival.
But then againâŠÂ
Youâre not like the others at all, are you? Those who took without asking, without care. Your touch is⊠gentle. Always so damnably gentle. Youâve never grabbed, never demanded, never treated me like a thing to be used. With you, it hasnât all been⊠bad. No, thatâs not right - itâs been tolerable. Almost pleasant at times, really. Your touch doesnât make my skin crawl; your voice doesnât grate on my nerves. I tell myself itâs because youâre useful. Thatâs all this is.Â
Thatâs all it can ever be.
If I were to tell you the truth, what would you do? If I were to push you away, would you stay? If I were to let you in, would you hurt me? These questions gnaw at me, demanding answers I don't have.Â
Answers I don't want.
Even now, as you sleep, your fingers rest light as feathers on my chest. Itâs maddening. Infuriating. How dare you? How dare you make this difficult? This was supposed to be simple. You were supposed to be simple.Â
I could kill you right now, you know. One quick movement, and all these feelings would disappear with you. Never again would you look at me like I'm something precious, something worth saving, like Iâmâ
â... Astarion,â you mumble drearily in your sleep.
Hells.
I should leave. I should push you away, remind you that I am not something to hold on to.
But I donât move.Â
Instead, I stay. Because the truth, the awful, unbearable truth, is that I donât want to lose this. The selfish man I am.
A sigh escapes me.Â
Itâs exhausting. Iâm exhausted.Â
Gods, what an absolute mess youâve made of my carefully laid plans. I find myself watching you sleep, counting your breaths, fighting the urge to brush that strand of hair from your face.
When did this happen? When did I start to care whether you lived or died beyond your usefulness to me?
I hate this. I hate that youâve made me feel anything at all, but more than that, I hate myself for not hating it more. The way you defend me, the way youâve never once looked at me with disgust or fear⊠itâs terrifying.
Youâre terrifying.
Yet I can't bear to give it away.
Your fingers curl into my shirt in your sleep, and I find myself pulling you closer despite every screaming instinct to push you away. Protecting you, as if I have any right to do so. As if I deserve the way you lean into my touch, trust in my words, believe in my capacity for - dare I say it - goodness. As if I deserve any of this.
The moonlight filtering through the tent catches on your sleeping face, and something inside me breaks. Or perhaps it's finally mending. I'm not sure I know the difference anymore.
A bitter laugh escapes my lips, so soft Iâm certain it wonât wake you. How poetic. How utterly absurd.
You, the fool, who dared to fall for me.Â
And I, the greater fool for letting you.
Masterlist can be found here!
No Pressure Tags: @roguishcat, @davenswitcher, @silverfangmarks, @sparrowbard, @chonkercatto, @stokzr , @trafalgarussy , @asterordinary , @bite-me-tonight , @transparentkittenheart , @bg3-fanfic-reblogs
#we're in real sad boy hours lads#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#astarion x gn!reader#astarion fanfiction#astarion ancunin#astarion fluff#bg3#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#astarion fanfic
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#vent#personal#illness tw#trying not to let myself spiral into an anxiety pit again!#bc they thought my stepmom would only have to do radiation and not chemo to combat her cancer#and the doctors estimated it would be done by may#but she had another appointment and now she's gonna have to do 9 months on chemo#which ya know theyre very optimistic about and lots of people make it through that#but its the fact that they realized it was a tiny bit worse than first predicted that scares me#bc now my fucking anxiety is like 'what if theyve missed more and its even worse'#the worst case scenario fucking terrifies me and i cant stop spiraling over my fears#i love my stepmom so much and if anything happened to her it would destroy me#i might delete this later i just need to get it out#and maybe then i can break myself out of the panicking
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LIKE OR LIKE LIKE, SIM JAEYUN.
femreaderâ âĄă
€ fluff f2lă
€âââă
€1428wc
cw. alcohol consumption, reader is drunk
âiâve never seen her drunk before,â sunghoon points to where youâre leaning against the wall.
jake turns to look at you, watching as you talk to chaewon. youâre continously taking sips of your drink, a sleepy smile on your face as you listen to your friendâs (most likely) drunk ramblings. he can tell youâre tipsy, at the very least; your body is swaying, it seems like youâre having a hard time staying upright.
âyeah.. iâm gonna go lay her down before it gets worse. i donât want her to wake up sick,â
sunghoon gives jake a knowing look, shrugging as he takes a sip of his own drink, âpredictable,â
âwhat?â
ânothing,â
sunghoon grins, patting jake on the head before walking away toâjake assumesâbother his girlfriend. the older boy shakes his head, running a hand through his already messy hair, turning around once more to watch you.
this is the first time youâve ever gotten drunk, he thinks. youâve mentioned before that itâs because youâre scared of how youâll act, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of them. heâs glad that youâre more comfortable now, and at least youâre only here with them, your friends, and not at some party full of strangers and weirdos.
he watches as chaewon pats your back, albeit a little forcefully, before she leaves to find someone new to bother. he also watches you attempt to follow her but give up halfway through your first step. he smiles to himself, heading over to where youâre standingâor leaning.
âoookay, no more for you. you canât even stand straight, dude,â jake takes the red solo cup away and out of your reach, giving you an amused smile. you pout but you donât put up a fightâyou canât, not fully anyways. if you could, though, you would tell him that heâs being dramatic; six shots and half a cup of jungle juice is hardly anything.
âcâmon, you can go lay down in my room, you look tired,â
âokay,â
you make a move to walk by yourself but jake steps behind you, placing his hands on your waist so that he can guide you away from your friends. it feels like your senses are heightened to a dangerous level because why do you get goosebumps the moment he touches you? you squeeze your eyes shut, forcing your heart to calm down.
somehow you make it to his bedroom without stumbling a whole lot (this is 100% thanks to jake; you were sure that you wouldnât have been able to do it yourself), and he taps your side, signaling for you to sit down on his bed, which you do.
he kneels down and pulls your shoes off, setting them on the floor. he pats your thigh, leaving yet another wake of goosebumps on your skin, âstay here, âkay? iâm gonna go get you some water,â
âi donât want any,â you whine, âiâm tired, not thirsty,â
âyeah, well, youâll be thirsty in a little bit,â
âno, i wonât,â
âyes, you will. youâre drunk,â
you huff, throwing yourself back on the bed, âam not. also youâre so annoying. i donât want water, i always drink water,â
jake snorts at your antics, tucking his head away as he tries to keep from laughing too loudly. after a few seconds, he calms down and looks back at your figure, smiling fondly. you canât see him, your eyes closed as you hum some random song that he hasnât heard since he was ten years old.
you look so serene, he doesnât want to disturb you. he figures he can just tell sunghoon or someone to come bring some water or he can wait for you to fall asleep.
âiâm sad,â you huff, sitting up slowly.
âwhy are you sad, hm?â he rests his head against your knee.
you frown at him. his words felt slightly condescending. not that you really cared, in fact it kind of made you feel dizzy. wow, heâs just terrible. looking at you all worried, taking care of you while youâre (not) drunk.
âbecause of you,â
he sits up at that. he looks like a dog who heard the word âsnackâ or something. of course, he wasnât happy. he looked more worried than before, in fact.
âme? whatâd i do?â
âyouâre just annoying,â you whine, âyou know, i like you and itâs kinda funny âcause iâm, like, so obvious about it,â
âyou like me? like like me?â
âwell, actually, i love you,â you pause, âyouâre not very smart, now that i think about it. howâd you even graduate? did you cheat? i think everyone knows but you. this is so awful, i canât believe i had to go and like someone so oblivious. youâre lucky everything else cancels that out,â
âwait, wait, wait. you love me? thatâs..â jake asks, his face flushed, completely disregarding everything you said after your confession, âyn, youâre.. you know, youâre drunk,â
âoh, okay,â you push his head away, âlook, iâll tell you tomorrow, âcos i really mean it and youâre so annoying and itâs, like, oh my god,â you say something else after that but he canât tell what. not with you speaking as fast as humanly possible paired with drunken slurring.
he nods slowly, processing your words, âyeah.. okay. you canât forget, alright?â
you grin, poking his cheek, âduh, i have an amazing memory,â
your amazing memory may be your downfall. surely, you had drank enough to wake up the next morning with zero memory. isnât that what usually happens when someone gets so drunk they tell their best friend that they like them? not even like, you said you loved him.
and now youâre laying in his bed, face pressed into his pillow, absolutely mortified at your past selfâs actions.
youâre never going to speak to him again. youâre going to get up, put your shoes on, and sneak out. yeah, itâll seem like youâre doing the walk of shame, god forbid anyone catches you, but thatâd be less embarrassing than having to talk to jake.
you donât get the chance to attempt to escape, though, because jake walks in right as youâre weighing your options.
âhey, are you awake? itâs two in the afternoon,â you hear him place a glass on the nightstand as he sits next to you.
you could pretend that you forgot.
you feel his hand rubbing your back, âi heard you groaning, get up,â
âi donât want to,â you mumble into the pillow, pressing your face into it harder.
âi canât hear you, you know,â
you groan loudly, picking your head up, âi donât want to get up,â
âwhy? are you embarrassed?â
âi didnât do anything embarrassing,â yes you did.
he nods, ânah, you didnât. i was just checking, you get embarrassed easily,â
youâre quiet for a moment after that. his hand is still rubbing your back and you can feel your heat beating against your chest. you want to pretend that you forgot about last night but for some reason you canât. you want to bring it up despite feeling nauseous at the thought of being rejected.
âi like you,â
he smiles, âyesterday you said you love me,â
you gape at him and he laughs loudly. you want to kill both him and yourself.
âiâm sorryâiâm kidding.. i like you too,â he hums, tilting his head, âno, actually, i love you,â
you frown, âyouâre embarrassing me,â
he laughs again which makes you want to both laugh and hide away from him, âgod, youâre so cute. i kinda wanna kiss you, is that okay?â
you almost say yes before you remember that you just woke up not even twenty minutes ago and you are not going to kiss him with bad breath. especially not when you were drinking the night before.
âi just woke up,â
he leans forward, close enough that you can just barely lift your head and youâll be able to kiss him, âso?â
âno,â it pains you to do so but you turn your head away from him. you know he wonât kiss you if you donât want him to but youâd probably fold and kiss him if he kept staring at you like that, âyou can.. uh, later. after i brush my teeth,â
he turns you over onto your back, smiling above you brightly. you gasp at the sudden movement, your heart racing yet again (you should go to the hospital), âpromise? i really wanna kiss you right now,â
you laugh, reaching your hand up to move his hair out of his face, âyeah, i promise. i really wanna kiss you too.â
#ă
€â à«źê° ËáË ê±á ⥠ă
ۉ #enhypen x reader#jake sim x reader#jake x reader#jake x you#jake x y/n#jake fluff#enha x reader#enha x you#enha x y/n#enha fluff#enha scenarios#enhypen x you#enhypen x y/n#enhypen fluff#enhypen headcanons#sim jaeyun x reader#jaeyun x reader#enhypen scenarios#jake headcanons#jake sim fluff#jake sim imagines
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there is nothing quite like the feeling i just got of seeing an incredibly specific youtube video about a topic that relates to a character concept iâve been turning around in my head for a while and not only learning a lot, but seeing how accidentally spot on i was in a lot of ways!
#specifically it's a video about victorian bakers#and how fucking miserable the job was#it's worse than i had predicted#but i had imagined a lot of stuff for this character that was apparently really accurate#including a bakery underground with no windows#i underestimated how shitty it was for health though#the character and setting are only inspired#not meant to be totally historically accurate#but considering my more fantasy-based character was actually experiencing LESS of a shitty time as conceptualized#i can make this blorbo's life even worse#thanks! she'll hate it!
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