#my precious murder crumpet

[damnyoucully]

ThEE Bucky video of all time, my boy does not have a single idea wtf is going on ever and I love that for him

Source: YouTube

[emilieautumnarchives]

N. American Tour, Shorty Awards, & S. American LOVE!!!

Posted: January 13, 2011 Archived from the BonnyTymePyrate Archives

Dearest Plague Rats,

While I know that it is nearly impossible to believe, one has, very occasionally, things to say that require a few more than 140 characters.

For example: The S. American Tour…Chile, Brazil, Columbia, Venezuela, Argentina, Mexico…all I can say is “Thank you.” We visited a different country every single day (we were lucky to get two hours of sleep per night – never imagine we live glamorous lives, for it may surprise you…), and, in each one, from the moment we landed (yes, I had my first experience of being greeted at each airport by an army of gorgeously attired Plague Rats, and me looking my travel-weary worst) to the moment we flew away again, the Crumpets and I were welcomed with such warmth and passion as we had never expected, rarely experienced, and were truly overwhelmed by.

Muffins of S. america, you set an example, nay, you raised the bar for audiences all over the world. Your devotion to this beautiful thing we are all striving and standing for, your sincere exhuberance, your willingness to allow us to take you on the journey that is the Asylum stage show, and your eagerness to follow whereever we might lead you…well, let me just state here that the jaded rock audiences of today could learn a thing or several from you.

We cherish your gifts, your embraces, and your love, and, after we were rushed through each airport, reading your letters once inside the waiting van, and hearing you singing “Misery Loves Company” in perfect unison as we drove away, we realized with complete clarity that you Plague Rats, you Muffins, you Inmates, you Asylum Army, you had already built your own Asylum long before the Crumpets and I ever arrived. You had come together and joined forces with eachother to celebrate all that makes you strange, different, crazy, wrong, whatever…you had been having your Tea Parties and Muffin Meetups, performing for eachother, baking, dressing up, showing your creativity in so many wonderful ways, and I saw that we were not bringing the Asylum to you, to your countries – it was already there. You built it, and nurtured it, and all there was left to do was for us to sing together, to combine our Asylums into one, and, of course, to share our tea.

S. America, keep Spreading the Plague as you have been doing, and we will be able to come back SOON! We can hardly wait…

And now! Speaking of tours, we are embarking on yet another one in (squeak!!!) just a few short weeks from now. “The Asylum Tour: The Door” is coming to N. America! This will be the very last Asylum Tour in any country featuring the songs from the “Opheliac” album, so, if you’ve ever wanted to waltz to “The Art of Suicide,” or scream bloody murder to “Liar,” then brush off your ears and tails and get your tickets NOW before it’s too late!

This will be a very emotional tour, for me especially, and to share it with as many of you as possible will turn something a bit sad (because moving on is hard sometimes) into a celebration of all that we have built together, and how very, very far we have come, you and I. Also, we will not be touring again until after F.L.A.G. is finished and released, so this will be our last chance to sing together for a little while. Don’t miss it. Oh yes, and I do fire tricks now (see video of our live TV performance in Chile).

Oh! And for those Plague Rats who were quick enough to score your “VIP Official Asylum Inmate” passes, I will confess that I am a little nervous to play my precious baroque violin for you all…playing the e-violin is sweet and totally kicks major arse, but it is also endlessly easier than playing the real thing, for there isn’t any distortion or other effects to hide behind, and I can’t distract you with glitter;). And thus, I have been keeping the other Asylum Inmates up all night practicing my scales and arpeggios so that I am ready to give you the very best of myself, and to show you what I really do, for you have not even seen it yet, not nearly…not nearly…

But! For the rest of you, do not despair just yet, for there may still be an opportunity for a small number of you to witness my bleeding fingers, and be amongst the first to try the new Asylum Tea. We have added just a few extra VIP (I know it’s a terrible word, for you are all VIPs, but, well, the venues had to call it something) tickets in select cities, and, if you are very speedy little Muffins, they could be yours (seriously, there are less than five, so hurry hurry hurry!). For complete details on what you will be receiving as a VIP Inmate, click HERE.

Now, for some silliness: Twitter is a ridiculous/amazing thing, and it seems to have created its own version of the Oscars. I am, of course, referring to the Shorty Awards, and I only know about them at all because my Twittering PRs were kind enough to inform me that I’ve been nominated in several hilarious categories, my personal favorite being “MentalIllness” (which I will be pretty pissed if I don’t win). While I’m not sure how seriously to take this whole thing, it is pretty fucking entertaining to watch, and I do love that it is all about you, the muffins (or in our case, the Plague Rats, who are so, so, so much more than mere ‘fans’), who are in control of the choosing process. So, though it may be silly, get your tails over to the Shorty Awards site, read a little interview I did, and VOTE, or live in a world ruled entirely by Justin Beiber. Your choice.

Ah! And while you’re there, be sure to vote for Asylum Chile in “fansite!” They are currently in second place, and, if they win, they represent us ALL!

And finally! Some of you may already be aware that we have launched the all new Asylum Emporium, which will henceforth be your resource for all things EA & Asylum related, from music and t-shirts to tour dates and TEA!!! I know it looks a bit barren right now, but I strongly suggest you check the site daily, as big things are coming…a subtle hint: things you can read, things you can wear, and things you can drink – all will be available in the Emporium within mere days (or hours;)!

I’m off to play my harpsichord, and maybe to practice “What If,” as I’ve promised to play the song at any show that sells out completely (so get out there, Spread the Plague, assemble your Armies, and get all of your friends, and all of their friends, and all of their demented friends to buy tickets if you want to hear yours truly fumble her way through a song she swore that she would never, ever sing again…).

With all my love from the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, Inmate W14A

P.S. All Twittering Twattering PRs have already seen this, but, for those of you Twit-less Inmates, I’ve posted one of my very best recipes for Matcha Green Tea Muffins HERE.

In honor of my recently developed allergies to wheat, gluten, sugar, soy, yeast, nuts, legumes, mushrooms, chocolate, alcohol (fuuuuuuuuuck!!!), and pretty much everything besides tea and celery, these muffins are free of gluten, dairy, soy, and refined sugars.

For those lucky bastards who can eat all of the above, you ought to try this recipe anyway, for you may be in for quite a shock as you bite into the best muffin you’ve ever had, GF or not. So, try the recipe, post your pics, and make me proud:)!!!

[eldritchsurveys]

1031.

5k Survey LXXV

3826. Why do most people associate being spiritual or connected to the world as being a hippy? >> Okay, so the first 25 questions in this section were all specifically about LOTR The Two Towers, for some reason? I’m not interested so I just skipped them entirely and am smushing the remaining 25 questions in this part into the other 50. Whatever. Anyway, because that’s the stereotype they’ve internalised, idk. Looking down on non-materialistic worldviews is a common modern pastime in the Western world, just in general. (Not that being a hippie is inherently a negative or stupid thing to be, but that’s definitely the sort of context this stereotype is going for.)

3827. Why is passion and honest emotion equated with hallmark cards? >> I feel like my answer to this would just be similar to my answer to the previous question. These ideas don’t necessarily have the same root, but they’re definitely related. 3828. What words set off alarms in your brain (for me it's anarchy, pagan, etc)? >> *blinks* Certainly not those words. Usually it’s words like, idk, “American values” and “lizard people”... 3829. Are you dancin in the dark? >> No. 3830. Name 2 things you have never done in public: >> I’ve never done the Charleston or the Riverdance in public.

3831. If you had to choose out of what you just named, which one WOULD you do in public? >> I don’t even know how to do those dances, which is part of the reason why I’ve never done them in public. 3832. Challenge yourself. Do whatever it is in public. Why not? What are you so terrified of? >> ... 3832. Is hell REALLY other people? >> The actual context of that quote is so much more interesting than seeing people using it as some kind of antisocial mantra. 3833. Or would it be more hellish to live totally without other people? >> We’re all aware that humans are social creatures, correct? Just making sure. 3834. Leggos or linkin logs? >> I had Lincoln Logs as a kid but not LEGO. 3835. What books have you read more than once? >> I’ve read The Fountainhead three times. 3836. Do you get different things out of reading a book a second time a year or more after reading it the first time? Is it because you are a different person after time passes? >> Yeah, I do, and yes, that’s why -- but first I have to convince myself to read a book more than once. My to-read list is so long all the time and then I learn about yet another interesting-sounding book and jump on that and the cycle never ends... it feels like a waste of time to go back and read books I’ve already read. Even though I know that’s not a logical way to think at all. 3837. The person who goes to ____ is not the same person who comes back. Fill in the blank with anything you think fits. >> Whatever. 3838. Quick! Empty your brain here! >> ... 3839. What's the best movie soundtrack? >> I’m partial to Clint Mansell soundtracks, personally. 3840. Tissues with or without aloe? >> I rarely even use tissues, but when I do, I’m not terribly precious about what kind they are. I just use whatever Sparrow bought. 3841. Are you on any medication? >> No. 3842. Does any part of your own body disgust you? If yes, isn't that odd? What could have caused that feeling of disgust with your own body? >> Having a body disgusts me, overall. Yeah, I’m not fond of the relationship I have with my body either, but it’d be one hell of an uphill battle to reprogram my brain to not think I’m gross. I’m doing my best, all right. 3843. Want some popcorn? >> No. 3844. What if Atlas shrugged? >> I imagine he’d do it in far less time than it takes to read that book. 3845. Who has led the most interesting life? >> ... 3846. What movies are comming out next year that you are looking forward to? >> Ha, what movies are coming out next year... that’s the question, innit. 3847. If someone is half man and half dog is he his own best friend? >> --- 3848. Paper or plastic? >> I usually get plastic bags. 3849. Why did things make sense in childhood, but they don't now? >> What things? 3850. Is it crazy time? >> --- 3851. If there is a lotto with 50 numbers, and a player picks 6 numbers without repeating any, what are their chances of getting all 6 winning numbers? >> I don’t know, dude.

3852. If there were no laws and no rules name 3 things you would do that you don't/wouldn't/can't do now? >> --- 3853. It's a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is: the 70's? 80's? under the sea? 3854. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restraunts and put them back in the sea? >> Nope. 3855. How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? >> --- 3856. What's your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck billed platypus, moose, skunk? >> Otter. 3857. priest, rabbi, or other religios leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding? >> We had a nondenominational minister for ours. I’m sure we would have rather have gone with someone who wasn’t any flavour of Christian, but going through the French Quarter Wedding Chapel kind of was a path of least resistance. It’s hard to plan a wedding from a completely different part of the country than the place it’s being held, and the Chapel did a lot of the legwork for us. 3858. Do you think that it's okay for people to write their own wedding vows? >> What on earth would possess me to think otherwise? 3859. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best. Your House or Yard The Beach A Park Disneyland A Forest A Catering Hall Las Vegas A church or temple A Courthouse On a Boat On a Space Station 3860. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick? Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake, Joan Jett, John Denver Baby Eve (the first human clone), Jennifer Lopez, Johnny Depp, George W Bush, David Bowie, Charleton Heston, Ralph Nader, Moby, Jeff Bridges, Kelly Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden The Pope, Eminem, Madonna >> *longsuffering sigh* 3861. Rank the following dead people in order of who you would like to spend the day with. 1 = you'd like to hang out with them the most. Joan of Arc Groucho Marx John Lennon Joey Ramone Anton Levay Tupac Jack Kerouac Aaliyah John F Kennedy Lucielle Ball Jim Morrison 3862. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can't be yourself) who would you give it to? >> I don’t want to grant immortality to anyone. 3863. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to? >> --- 3864. Name a person you love: Name a person you admire: Name a friend: Name a relative: If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why? >> Just... not even going to touch this one. 3865. Would you rather be one of Santa's elves or a dentist? >> What... 3866. When you first meet people what do you talk to them about? >> There’s no one specific thing that I talk to people about... it’s obviously dependent on many factors (at least one of them having nothing to do with me). 3867. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one? >> No. 3868. Finish the sentances. In a world where: He was: She was: Together, they were: Why do so many movie trailers start off by saying 'In a world..'? >> I had a feeling this was about movie trailers, lol. I’m guessing it’s just convenient or something. (Also, that doesn’t happen much anymore. There’s a new set of trailer tropes now.) 3869. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers: >> --- 3870. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the salvation army. The salvation army turned the money down saying they didn't want dirty gambling money. Did they do the right thing? >> They did what was right from their point of view, which is a dogmatic conservative-Christian POV. 3871. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to? >> --- 3872. What's the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of? >> --- 3873. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, but if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder? >> Perspective. 3874. What kind of punishment do you feel the following crimes deserve: premeditated murder? date rape? drug sales? drug use? burglery? 3875. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at new year's eve, who would be the lucky one? >> ... 3876. You have just taken two sexy people prisoner because they found your hide out and you think they are spies. What do youd do: kill them, hump them or have crumpets and tea? >> What the fuck. 3877. What is your new year's resolution? >> --- 3878. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq? >> --- 3879. Would you ever have plastic surgery? >> I don’t know, maybe. Mostly I just can’t afford shit like that, so the answer’s “no” by virtue of that alone. 3880. How can George Bush be considered a Christian when he a war-monger and the ten comandments say do not kill? >> Oh, you know. 3881. What is the most interesting premise for a reality tv show that you can think of? >> --- 3882. Who is the Hollywood Star next to die of a drug overdose? >> --- 3883. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven't met or spoken to them off of the computer? >> Not... like, as a rule... 3884. When you hear the song puff the magic dragon what do you think? >> Weed, I guess. I don’t have any other associations with that song. 3885. Let's give you a tarot reading. Go on, ask any question: first card: the reversed high preistess. you may be expecting things to come too easily. You should be careful not to give up if they dont go your way. You're feeling a desire to escape, to withdraw into yourself. Shrug off your current lack of focus and work diligently to acheive the goals you want. second card: the reversed hanged man. You shouldnt be close-minded with your situation. There are many alternatives and possible solutions to your problems. Try something new. The last card: Justice. what goes around comes around. Seek advice on the matters at hand from elders. Do healthy things, spiritually and physically. 3886. What does 'boo' mean and how did it become a slang word of affection? >> www.dictionary.com 3887. How often do you stretch? >> Whenever I feel like it. I don’t schedule it or anything. 3888. Have you ever wished that you didn't have to be yourself? >> Yep. 3889. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders? >> --- 3890. What are some things that for most people go unsaid? >> Bold of me to assume I know what most people are not saying out loud. Pretty sure mind-reading ain’t a thing. 3891. I said, 'Play me the best song in the world.' You put on: >> --- 3892. What happened last year that you would like to forget? >> --- 3893. What are you not able to do alone? >> Operate a seesaw. 3894. Do you feel more connected to earth air fire or water and why? >> Air, because I have a lot of it in my birth chart, I guess. Also, I just like space. (Both in the sense of “having physical space around me” and “outer space where all the stars and shit are”, although the latter isn’t air per se.) 3895. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece >> Depends on what you’re trying to reference, I guess. I can go with “life and chocolate” (obvious movie reference) or “blood and chocolate” (less obvious YA book/movie reference). 3896. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? >> Yeah, we all know this joke. 3897. Have you ever wanted to meet the inspectors with the numbers for names(i.e. inspected by 36)? >> What? 3898. Who is the most thought-provoking person you know, &why? >> Me. I stay thinkin about myself.  3899. If you could change 1 thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be & why? >> Meh, nothing. 3900. What is the most bizarre thing you've ever done? >> I’m not sure.