#my pot of ramen noodles boiled over while i wrote this 😔

[shushmal]

"Okay," Eddie says, rolling up his sleeves as he approaches the kitchen counter. "You want these veggies rough chopped or are you being a freak about them today?"

"I'll show you freak," Steve says from the stove.

"Can't out freak the freak, baby." Eddie pulls out the vegetable knife from the chopping block—flush with new knowledge and still smarting from the way Steve had caught him cutting up an onion with a butter knife once. "So, what'll it be?"

There's a long silence. So long, in fact, Eddie turns around to find Steve eyeing the vegetables with a pained look in his eye.

"Sweetheart," Eddie tries. He's holding back giggles. "If you want these to be anything other than a million different sizes and shapes, you need to kick me out of the kitchen."

Steve sighs and turns back to his burners and pans, waving a wooden spoon at him. "You can stay, but do NOT cut yourself again. You're on thin ice, Munson."

"Oh, no! Chef please don't fire me!" Eddie wails dramatically, going to town on a carrot. He waggles his brows at Steve's back. "Maybe I can do some overtime? We can really get to know each other, if you know what I mean?"

"You can't sleep your way to head chef, butt face," Steve says, not even looking at him. "Be happy with assistant."

There's a loud clatter, and Eddie almost breaks his promise to Steve about the knife and his fingers when he whips around to find Robin standing in the doorway.

"I go to college!" she screeches. "I go to college for one measly month, and you already replaced me? With your boyfriend?"

"Not a replacement!" Steve hurries to say. He completely drops his spoon, darting across the kitchen to grab Robin in a hug. She dodges him. "He's just a new hire! To cover shifts! You're overworked and you deserve vacation, sick days, paid time off!"

He swipes for her again. "Fine, I want dental and a 401k included."

"We're a small business, I can't do dental insurance." Eddie quickly puts his knife down and turns the burners off since they've started chasing each other through the kitchen.

"I want my 401k to be paid out in pie then."

"Deal!"

"Do I get a 401k?" Eddie asks. Steve finally catches Robin, pulling her into a bear hug that lifts her off her feet. "I want mine in kisses."

"Shut it, newbie," Robin hisses at him from over Steve's shoulder. "You're on a 90-day probationary, and if I see you slacking, you're outta here."