#my policy to say yes every time i am invited to something if no strong reason to refuse

[anaalnathrakhs]

oh no oh no oh nooooo my aunt invited me to a waterpark this summer what do i do

[chikoriita]

Single Father Seeking Sane Step-Mama Pt. 2

As the hour grew closer to tea time, Eloise strategically chose her seat in the drawing-room. Though not nearly as big as Bridgerton House, afternoon tea at Number Five drew plenty of visitors. With Colin recently returned to town and her mother’s birthday celebration coming up, Bridgertons of all ages flocked to tea. Hence, if Eloise wanted to make her own guests welcome, she needed to make ample space for them.

Amanda and Oliver would fit in with the gaggle of nieces and nephews that accompanied their mothers to tea. Between Daphne, Kate, and Sophie, at least one child of similar age would arrive. If not, Violet always had a marvelous spread. That is if Colin left any for the rest of the family.

No, it was their father Eloise worried about. Would he feel uncomfortable in the midst of all the Bridgertons? Frannie might not come, but Hyacinth was a force of nature in herself. Would he take them up on her spur of the moment offer? What if all her preparations were for naught?

Settled into the armchair by the window, Eloise kept a wary eye on the gate. She did not want to miss them.

“You are here quite early for tea, Eloise.” Daphne strolled in with her two eldest children in tow. “Usually Hyacinth has to bellow for you to “make haste.” Her elder sister gave her a sly smile as she settled on the sofa. Ambrose and Belinda found some sort of entertainment on the other side of the drawing-room.

Eloise made a face. Of course, she would remember something she did at seventeen years old. “You, dear sister, were about to be late for your own presentation. Hyacinth only has to shout if I am in the middle of writing something. They are completely different subjects.”

Daphne laughed. “So you say.”

“Oh good, you brought the older children today.” Eloise did a little clap of excitement.

Her sister furrowed her brow. “Yes, Caroline and Davina had an art lesson this afternoon. Why is it good?”

She leaned close. “The townhome next door was rented out for the Season. I encountered the children as they were moving in today, and invited them to tea.” Reclining once again, Eloise peeked outside to see if anyone else was arriving.

Daphne hummed. “I wonder who they are.”

“I’ve never met them before. The children gave the last name Crane. I have yet to meet their father.”

“Whose father?” Violet asked as two footmen trailed her with a cart full of pastries.

“Mama, does the name Crane ring a bell? I feel like I know someone with the surname, but I cannot place it,” Daphne pondered.

Violet shook her head. “No, dearest. I cannot either.”

Hyacinth bounded into the room with none of the delicacies of a proper debutante. “Are we discussing the new neighbors? Eloise should know all about them.” She smirked. “She’s the one who met the children today.”

“How did you-”

“I was in your room.”

“Mama!”

“Hyacinth,” her mother warned.

She shrugged. “Eloise has the best view of the street. If anyone wants to learn anything, it’s the best place to start.”

“Stay out of my room,” Eloise hissed. Hyacinth stuck her tongue out at her. Violet glared at them both.

Wickham arrived at the door. “A Sir Phillip Crane has arrived for Miss Bridgerton.” He gestured to the Crane family.

“Sir Phillip?” Daphne murmured as they all stood to greet the Cranes.

“I did not know either,” Eloise mumbled in return.

“Sir Phillip, what a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to our home,” Violet warmly said. Ever the gracious hostess, she did not miss a beat. “Thank you for accepting Eloise’s invitation. I am the Dowager Lady Bridgerton, but you may call me Violet.” She held out a welcoming hand.

“It is a pleasure, Lady Bridgerton.” He bowed over her hand. “May I introduce my children?”

Eloise would have glanced behind him to find the twins. However, she could not move past him. Meeting in person confirmed that her initial observation was true. He was large, and it suited him. Sir Phillip. A strong and sturdy name meant for someone such as him.

“Miss Eloise!” Amanda’s voice pulled her out of her reverie. “Are you glad we came?” The adoration in the little girl before her humbled Eloise more than she expected.

“I am,” she softly said. “Let me introduce you both to my niece and nephew.” She held her hands out. It surprised her how well their hands fit in her own.

~~

So these were the Bridgertons, Phillip thought. He felt awkward in a room full of such beautiful people. Lady Bridgerton made the introductions as Eloise took his children away. Besides herself and Eloise, the other two ladies were her daughters as well. “This is Hyacinth, my youngest, and my eldest daughter, Daphne, the Duchess of Hastings.”

“Your Grace.” He bowed once more. He may be rusty, but from what little he knew, a Duchess deserved at least that.

“Oh, we do not stand for such formality in the Bridgerton household. Please call me Daphne.” She steered him toward a long sofa. “We may still have stragglers. Let us chat.”

Phillip held back a gulp. “Are more guests expected?” Should they have postponed it for another day? “If so-”

“Oh no, Sir Phillip. My mother has an open door policy. With eight children, she stopped counting guests for tea ages ago.”

“Eight?”

Daphne laughed. “Is it possible that we have met the one person in all of London that does not know our reputations?”

Violet gave a sharp glance to her daughter. “We do not have a reputation.”

“Yes, we do, Mama. According to Lady Whistledown, you have four handsome sons and four beautiful daughters. All neatly and alphabetically organized,” Eloise returned to the conversation. She made her way toward the armchair she had before when Daphne tugged her into the remaining space on the sofa. Right in between the duchess and himself.

Alphabetically named children? “How delightful.”

The youngest daughter, Hyacinth, snickered. “Not according to Lady Whistledown. She said it was banal.”

With that comment, all of the Bridgerton ladies launched into a lively conversation. All Phillip could do was watch. He had vaguely heard of this Lady Whistledown, but he did not care much for the musings of a gossip columnist. No, he was far more interested in the young lady seated next to him.

Miss Eloise Bridgerton shared the same coloring as her sisters and mother, but on her everything seemed more. A rich brown hue in her hair, deep blue eyes, and a flush in her cheeks that matched her spirit. From everything he observed, Eloise Bridgerton was far beyond his league. All he sought was a quiet mother for his children. Someone who would not mind him spending more time with plants than the local society. Someone who did not resent him for surviving while his brother did not.

Daphne handed him a cup of tea. “Any sugar or cream?”

“No thank you.” He took a sip. It was a nice blend, and one he had not encountered before.

Hyacinth passed him a plate of pastries. “Get your share in before Colin returns. He is the reason we have two carts,” she said with a grin. “Where is your estate?”

“Hyacinth!” Both her sisters hissed.

It was a neatly tucked question. He rather admired the girl for it. “We reside at Romney Hall in Gloucestershire year-round. This will actually be my first Season in town.” And hopefully last, he prayed.

“Do you have any family in town?” Violet kindly asked.

He shook his head. “Not of my own, unfortunately. My late wife’s cousins do live near here.”

“We may know them. Who are they?”

Before he could answer, two more visitors arrived. One had the first familiar face here in London. He stood quickly to greet her. “Miss Featherington.”

Penelope Featherington had been wrapped in conversation with the gentleman beside her. If he guessed correctly, this was a Bridgerton brother. Lady Whistledown was correct, he admitted. The man was quite handsome.

At the sound of her name, she turned to Phillip and gasped. “Sir Phillip!”

“I am pleased to see you still recognize me after all these years,” he said politely. It was a very slight relation, but it was the only available in the city. It was pure luck that he encountered her in Lady Bridgerton’s drawing-room.

~~

Eloise glanced between him and Penelope, as did every other Bridgerton. How did Penelope know their new neighbor?

Daphne was the first to recover from her confusion. Recognition dawned on her face. “Sir Phillip Crane was married to Miss Thompson,” she whispered, clutching Eloise’s hand.

“Miss Thompson?” Eloise parroted. All the pieces clicked together. “That Miss Thompson?” She covertly gestured to Colin. It had been years since anyone mentioned that fiasco of 1813.

Her sister wore her worry on her face. Eloise watched her brother instead. Obviously, Sir Phillip had no idea who he was in regards to his late wife.

Penelope nervously smiled. “It has been some time since our last meeting. My condolences on Marina,” her voice cracked as she spoke her name aloud.

Violet’s eyes widened at the name while Hyacinth nearly fell out of her precarious seat. Colin showed no particular emotion at all.

To her surprise, Eloise saw Sir Phillip grimace. It was slight, but she was sure it was there. “Thank you, Miss Featherington. Might I introduce you to my children?”

As he went to retrieve Oliver and Amanda, she spied another odd happening. Colin whispered something into Penelope’s ear. Eloise narrowed her eyes. What was going on here today? Penelope spoke quietly to him, and he nodded.

“Colin!” Eloise called out to him. “Have a seat next to me.” Daphne took the hint and moved to a seat closer to Mama.

He complied, swiping two pastries on his way over. Even in this awkward situation, Colin had to think of his stomach.

“I’m sorry.”

Colin coughed at her words. He recovered quickly enough to ask, “Why? It’s not as if you brought him here. Why is he at tea anyway?” Her brother, to his credit, did not grumble or sound put out. He had near a decade to get over Marina Thompson and her actions. From the little Penelope had told her of that summer, Marina did what she thought she needed to do.

“I invited them here,” she admitted. Eloise guiltily looked over to where Sir Phillip stood with the twins and Penelope. Amanda looked like a doll with her sun-kissed curls, and Oliver had a mischievous smile on his face. Some of her guilt melted away when she thought back to the solemn look on his face earlier. No, no matter the awkward situation, she was glad to see that the children had enjoyed themselves.

“Lady Bridgerton, I believe we have spent enough of your time,” Sir Phillip spoke. The twins’ angelic faces turned mutinous at his words.

“Nonsense, you are welcome here,” Violet warmly said.

“Nevertheless, we must take our leave.” He reached to take Amanda’s hand when she backed away.

“No! Can we please stay with Miss Eloise?” She rushed over to sit next to Eloise.

Oliver was not far behind his sister. “Miss Eloise wants us here.”

All eyes turned to look at her. Oh dear, what a situation. Sir Phillip pleaded with the exhausted look on his face. “Amanda, Oliver…” She sighed. “You have traveled a long way. It is a time to relax. Even Ambrose is tired.”

Daphne shot a glance at her son that had him yawning within seconds. It was pleasant to see her sister had not lost her maternal touch.

She took both of their hands. “I enjoyed seeing you both again.”

“You are welcome to come to tea any time you like, dears,” Violet added.

Penelope chimed in. “I must be going as well. Mama will be expecting me home soon.” Eloise resisted raising a brow at her friend. Portia Featherington never expected Penelope for anything. “I can escort you out, Sir Phillip.”

He nodded and held his arm out for her to take. Colin tensed beside her. What was going on with him?

“Come children.” Sir Phillip’s tone brooked no more rebellion. Reluctantly, the twins followed him. Before they fully exited, Amanda turned around and gave a small wave to Eloise. She could not help but smile back at the little girl and give her a little wave in return.

It was a few moments later that Eloise realized that all eyes were on her once again. Hyacinth’s were teasing, Daphne’s warm, and Violet’s motherly as always.

Only Colin seemed reserved. “That was an interesting encounter. Is he the latest in your line of suitors, El?”

“There is no line of suitors,” she shot back, crossing her arms. She loved Colin, but there were times she wanted to strangle him with his cravat.

“If there were, Sir Phillip would be right in front. He could barely take his eyes off Eloise,” Hyacinth added. Maybe she would get the cravat treatment as well.

“He is not my suitor! I barely know him.”

Violet patted her on the hand. “Dearest, they are simply teasing you. Do not take their words to heart.” She heaved a sigh. “Anyway, the ton is a small world. Who could have known of Sir Phillip’s connection?”

“I should have recognized him,” Daphne said.

“Why? When would you have met him?” Colin asked.

“I- um… I contacted the Army on Miss Thompson’s behalf after… everything. It was then Sir Phillip found her.”

“Was he the father of her child? Well, children?” Hyacinth could barely hold her curiosity.

“That’s enough Hyacinth,” Violet sharply said.

Daphne shook her head. “It was his older brother, Sir George. He died in the Peninsular Wars.” She looked at Eloise as she said this.

“It is their own personal matter. It does not involve us.” Violet folded her hands in her lap, signaling the end of this topic.

Her mother was wrong though. After the events of that day, it would involve the Bridgertons personally, whether they liked it or not.

And Eloise was caught in the middle, physically and possibly emotionally.

~~

Later that evening, Eloise sat at her desk and stared at the blank parchment in front of her. She was not sure of what she even wanted to say. All she knew was that she needed to say something.

Sir Phillip,

Thank you for your presence at our house…

---

As always, reply if you want to be tagged in future updates. 

Thank you to the amazing @thekatesheffield​ for the lovely banner!!!

[transkingoryx]

fall between the cracks

Pairing: Azula & Katara, background Zutara

Wordcount: 1998

Summary: Azula has a nightmare, and calls Katara. Modern AU

Other notes: so, I wrote this for a gift exchange for a server i’m in, but my giftee asked not to be tagged if i posted it outside the server, so here it is!

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28480725

Azula shot upright, eyes wide and gasping for air. It was just a dream; you don’t need to get so upset over it, she berated herself, trying to steady her racing pulse. She could still see it in her mind, her father standing in front of her, the hateful lies he’d insisted were true echoing in her head.

You should have been better. You failed. You didn’t do your duty. And the worst of them all: You're just as bad as Zuko. For all her life, ‘Zuko’ had been Ozai’s synonym for disappointment, worthless, weak, and everything else she wasn’t supposed to be. She knew that her brother was none of those things, but the opinions she’d had drilled into her head for her entire childhood wouldn’t let go. You weren’t good enough. It hadn’t been her fault. If you had been better, this wouldn’t have happened. It wasn’t her fault. You could have stopped this. It couldn’t have been her fault-

She dove for her phone, and dialed the first number that came to mind.

“Azula?” Katara’s tired voice filled her ears. “It’s three in the morning.”

“I apologize for waking you. I wasn’t thinking.” Her voice sounded small and empty. Exactly the way she felt. “I will call back in the morning.” She moved to hang up, but Katara spoke first.

“Wait. What’s wrong?” the other girl asked.

“I… I had a nightmare.” It sounded foolish once she said it out loud, and Azula opened her mouth to take the words back, to lie and convince Katara it was nothing. But once again, her friend answered before she could.

“About your father?”

“Yes,” Azula admitted. “I understand it’s ridiculous to still be thinking about something that happened in college now, but-”

“I’ll be right over,” Katara promised, and the line went dead in Azula’s hand. She stared at it uncomprehendingly. Katara cares about you, she reminded herself. She cares.

In what seemed like forever and no time at all, a quiet knock sounded at her apartment door. Azula swung her legs over the edge of her bed, and stood up quickly- too quickly, it seemed, as the motion set her head spinning. She waited for the dizziness to pass, and walked to the front door. When she opened it, Katara gave her a quick hug. Azula stepped back awkwardly, wordlessly inviting her friend to come in.

Seeing her uncertainty, Katara took her arm, and led her to the kitchen. Once they were there, Azula moved with stiff and practiced efficiency, selecting ingredients and placing them on the countertop. In barely two minutes, there were two warm cups of tea on the table. Jasmine, Uncle and Zuko’s favorite.

Once they were both settled, and sipping at their tea, Katara looked at Azula expectantly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, obviously concerned.

“High school,” Azula said, bitterly. “Was a series of unrealistic and harmful expectations piled on top of me, one after another, with consequences when those impossibilities were not met. College was the result of those three years of buildup exploding in my father’s face, and by extension, mine.”

Katara nodded, clearly struggling to keep any signs of pity off her face.

“I was the envy of the entire school. Popular, intelligent, powerful. And then Iroh helped Zuko come forward about what had happened and when the news broke-” Azula snapped her fingers “-nobody wanted anything to do with the true failure, me. Just like that. Even Ty Lee and Mai abandoned me. I went from the most liked to most hated, in a matter of hours.” She grimaced. “I didn’t come to school for two weeks, but I heard the rumors. She was in on it, he hired someone to fake her success, and all the rest. I never stopped hearing it, not for the rest of my life. Every interview, I’m asked what my role was in what happened to Zuko. If I attempt to befriend someone, they inevitably demand to know what really happened. And if I don’t give the answer they want...” She stared at her feet. “I keep wondering if it’s worth trying again.”

“I didn’t know that it still affected your career.” Katara looked down at her feet. “If you want, I can pull some strings, get you a comfortable position in my company-”

“Thank you, but no.” Azula stopped her. “If I succeed, I have to do it on my own. Otherwise, I’ll just be proving what they all said about me. That my successes will always come from other people’s generosity. Not to mention what it would do to your reputation.”

“Alright,” Katara nodded, knowing exactly what Azula meant. After all, she had gone through the same thing rising to the top of her company, despite Pakku and the others on the Board of Executives doing their best to stop her. “But you need to know that having help doesn’t diminish your accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with needing help sometimes.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re talking about more than jobs?”

Katara shifted in her seat. “I know you didn’t want to when Zuko first brought it up, but I was wondering if you were still so against going to therapy.” Azula flinched from the word, bringing her hands together to rest in her lap. She straightened her posture, feeling like she had to hide all signs of the emotional turmoil inside her.

“My answer remains the same as it did then.” Azula spoke slowly, her words measured and careful.

“Are you sure? I know it helped your brother,” Katara pressed. “Or if you’re uncomfortable with that, maybe you could try talking to Zuko instead-”

“What happened to Zuko and what happened to me are completely different things,” Azula snapped. “We may have both been hurt by our fathe- Ozai, but our experiences were fundamentally different on every other level. He was the hero, Katara. I was just something for my father to brag about. Zuko faded into slightly positive-tinged obscurity after he exposed Phoenix Industries, and I have been vilified by mainstream news reports and my past defines everything I do. He had help and support from Iroh, and I was left to fall through the cracks. Do not insinuate that we went through the same thing in the end.” Katara seemed surprised by the ruthlessness and efficiency with which Azula delivered her argument. And why shouldn’t she be? I’m sure Zuko doesn’t dwell on this as much as I do. But still, Katara had clearly been hurt by her harsh words. “I-I’m sorry.”

“I get it. You’re not thinking straight right now.”

“You’re right, I’m not.” Azula stared down at her hands, screaming at herself internally for testing Katara’s patience at- she checked her watch- three-thirty in the morning. She was a fool for bringing Katara into this, a fool for telling her everything, and a fool for never being strong enough to handle anything on her own. Pathetic. Weak. Worthless.  

Blinking back tears, she avoided Katara’s gaze. “I apologize for inconveniencing you. I will most likely be fine in the morning.” Most likely, you’ll be calling in sick to work and sobbing in bed for two hours in the morning. Bad enough that you’re lying again, you don’t even sound convincing.

“Azula, look me in the eyes and tell me that again.”  

She forced herself to maintain eye contact, and forced her voice to remain steady as she spoke. “I will be fine in the morning.” Liar. Liar. Liar. That’s all you do, isn’t it? All you can even do anymore.

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Katara slammed her cup down on the table with surprising force. “Do you have any idea how unconvincing you sound?”

“I’m fin-”

“No! Don’t say you’re fine. You’re not fine, and anyone with a single brain cell can see that!” Katara waved her hands as if hitting the air would make Azula listen to her. “I’m completely sick of watching you run yourself into the ground again and again! You take extra shifts at both your jobs and stay up late trying to find a job where you can use what you learned at that fancy law school, and then you burn yourself out trying to be everything you’re supposed to be, while still holding fast to your nothing-to-do-with-Ozai policy! You take a day off to recover, and start the whole cycle again the next day! I hate watching you do this to yourself!” Katara continued her diatribe, but it blurred together in Azula’s ears. Burned out. That sounded about right. But what was the other part? Could it be that Katara couldn’t stand Azula’s method of being a functioning adult? Or perhaps that Katara felt responsible for her, as Azula’s closest (and only) friend? It didn’t seem that way, from the passionate tirade alone.

“Why are you doing this?”

Katara blinked, interrupted mid-rant. “You mean why am I trying to make you take care of yourself?”

“Yes. Why are you trying to make me take care of myself, and offering me assistance in life? The system I currently have is working fine, and doesn’t affect you in any way. I can’t make sense of it. The only possible explanation that I can think of is that Zuko or Ursa put you up to it.”

“Didn’t you say your mother wanted nothing to do with you?”

“You’re avoiding the question. Why?” Azula barely managed to disguise her wince at the mention of her mother. It was her own fault, she supposed, for bringing Ursa into it.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Katara blinked. “You’re my friend, and I want what’s best for you. What, did you think I hated you?”

“Well, at first, yes,” Azula confessed, shocked. “I assumed you were spending time around me for Zuko’s sake, and mistook your… forceful personality for hatred of me.”

Katara shook her head and started to laugh. “I’ve gotta say, between dating Zuko and having Sokka for a brother, I’ve heard a lot of things like that, but what you just said takes the cake.”

“Hmph.” Azula tried to frown, but wound up smiling instead

“It’s true,” Katara teased lightheartedly. “I don’t know how you got it into your head that my way of showing complete and utter contempt was showing up at your door with cupcakes on your birthday, or inviting you over for dinner, or coming to your house at three in the morning because you had a nightmare.” She grinned. “Of course, they could have been poisoned cupcakes.”

Azula laughed. “Oh yes, they were definitely poisoned, that’s why they probably had more sugar in them then most desserts.”

“Toph gave me the recipe, you know she has a sweet tooth.”

“Have Mai and Ty Lee finally realized that their pining isn’t one-sided yet?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” Katara gave a half-smile. “It seemed like they never would, but it finally happened.”

“I’m happy for them.” Azula smiled. “It’s unlikely that either of them will ever want to speak to me again, but I wish them the best.”

They both lapsed into comfortable silence, sipping their tea and relaxing in each others’ company. After a while, Katara had to leave, as she had work the next day.

“Be brave, okay?” She hugged Azula.

“I’ll try.” Azula hugged back.

The next morning, when her alarm went off, Azula rolled out of bed and stared at the next law firm in her notebook. She pulled up the website on her phone, and was immediately drawn to the sentence in the description that they specialized in dealing with corrupt employers and large megacorporations. In a perfect world, where she wasn’t Ozai’s daughter, it would have been an excellent fit for her. Azula typed the number into her phone, and hovered her finger over the call button. Would they turn her away upon finding out who she was? Be brave, Azula. Katara’s voice echoed in her head.

Azula made the call.

[august-diehl]

I Know What’s Best - Part 2

Summary: Being the daughter of wealthy politicians, your life reeks of privilege. You would do anything to make your parents happy, and then you meet Captain America, how much is your life gonna change?

Dark!Steve Rogers x Innocent!Reader

Warnings: Extreme manipulation, stalking, dub con (non con) in next chapters.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings, @hhiggs, @navybrat817, @imsonick​, @akamaiden​.

I Know What’s Best Masterlist.

Main Masterlist.

Coming back home after spending the whole day with your mother and Kaia, you were tired, but that man in the bathroom was still on your mind, he looked familiar, but you had no idea from where you knew him, it was a weird feeling. His touch still lingered on your body, the way he touched your chin, firm but gentle at the same time. When you got home, the first thing you did was taking a shower, and again the blonde man invaded your thoughts, you felt something strange in your private parts, and you had the urge to touch yourself.

Which was exactly what you did, your hand was your stomach and then with a feather light touch, your fingers found your slit, and you gasped, it was such a foreign feeling, but it felt so good, you just stopped and left the shower. You put on a summer dress, it was extremely hot in New York. You thought to yourself, that maybe your parents would allow you to travel somewhere else, you’ve never traveled alone before, always with your family. But there’s a first time for everything, right?

It was almost 6PM, when you heard your father talking to your mother, you couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying. When got closer to them, you saw your father almost jumping from so much excitement, and he saw you.

“My sweet daughter, the most wonderful news.” He grabbed your arm and guided you to his office, everyone was there, Ian, Kaia and your mother. 

“What happened, father?” You could see that everyone already knew, because they were extremely happy, just like your father.

“Tony Stark invited our family for a dinner in the Avengers Tower, he wants to know what are my policies, and my stance on superheroes. Iron Man himself called me, you should get dressed, we will be waiting for you, dear.” Your father announced, you nodded and went back to your bedroom, you were a bit disappointed that you didn't asked their permission to travel, but your father needed you, and you would do anything for your family.

You choose to wear a dress that Kaia picked out for you, it was white and flowy, it had a slit that went to the middle of your thigh, your mother wasn’t too with the choice, but Kaia insisted that you should dress like girls your age. The dress also had a sweetheart neckline, it the fabric was silky, it felt amazing on your skin, you put your pearl earring that your mother bought you, a comfortable shoe and went down the stairs, everyone was ready.

“You look gorgeous, Y/N.” Kaia was the first to compliment you, you’ve always been shy when accepting compliments.

“Yes, she’s right.” Ian said after his wife, your father guided all of you to the elevator. He couldn’t wait to get there. 

The limousine got to the Tower, and you saw many kids in front of the Tower, to catch one of the Avengers. A man guided your family inside the Tower, he just guided you to the elevator, pressed the button, and the elevator started, it was a huge building. When the elevator finally stopped, the doors opened, and there he was Tony Stark, Iron Man himself. You remembered him, he was in your college when you were a freshman, he gave a lecture in NYU, about technology and recruiting people to work for the Avengers, every single person was there, since you were only a freshman, you stayed in the back, he definitely didn't remember you.

“Mr. Stark, it is a pleasure to meet you.” Your father declared, and Tony Stark gave him a warm smile.

“The pleasure is all mine, I know that my interest in politics may come as a surprise to you, but Captain America suggested that working with a good politician might be beneficial for the Avengers.” He shook hands with your whole family, you included. “Please, let’s eat and talk, Captain Rogers will be here shortly.” He looked at you when he talked about Captain America, leaving you puzzled. 

Everyone was sitting down, your father, Ian and Mr. Stark were deep in conversation, your mother and Kaia were also truly invested, you signed and left to go to the bathroom. No one noticed that you were gone, you were a bit lost for a few moments, but you found the bathroom, you spent a few more minutes than necessary, you felt out of place every time your family discusses politics. When you finally left the bathroom, you hit something big, you were about to fall, when strong hands was holding your waist. When you looked up, you saw him, the blonde man, the man that was in the bathroom at that restaurant.

“It’s you.” You whispered, he was so handsome. His hands didn't leave your waist, he pulled you closer to his body.

“Yes, it’s me. I’ve missed you, Y/N.” The tingles were stronger now, he was so close to you, his smell was intoxicating, you felt his lips on your neck, it was so delicate, and yet you gasped. His eyes were on yours, it felt like he could see you, the real you. He kneeled in front of you, making you frown, what was he doing? He kissed your ankle, he was watching your every move, and tingles were getting stronger. The man kissed your calf, and then your thigh, your breathing was erratic, no one has never made you feel the way the blonde man was making you feel.

“Sir, what you’re doing?” You inquired, and you heard him growl, why he was affecting you that much? “Please, sir. I don’t think that’s appropriate.” The man stand up again, his long fingers was tracing your collarbone.

“Why? I told you that I would make you mine, princess.” His hands were on your cheeks, you could feel your heart practically beating out of your chest, you looked at him, you’ve never seen that look before, it looked like he was a starving man.

“I don’t even know your name, sir.” You whispered, and the man smiled. 

“I thought you knew, my name is Steve Rogers, princess.” Realization hit you, you knew he was familiar, he was with Tony Stark that day. The man laughed. “You remembered, didn't you?” You nodded. “Since the first day I saw you, I knew that I had to make you mine.” His voice, his incredible voice. You loved his voice, you loved listening to him. 

“But why?” Why the most handsome you’ve ever met wanted you to be his girlfriend, a literal super hero, wanted you?

“Because I want to, because I know you want that too.” His nose touched yours, and you smiled, you’ve been thinking about him since you saw him in the restaurant, that meant that you wanted him, right?

“I’ve been thinking about you.” You whispered, that caught his interest.

“Go on.” He urged, you licked your lips.

“I felt tingles every time I thought about you, is that normal?” Steve took a deep breath, his eyes were closed, you were watching him intently.

“Are you feeling the tingles now?” His voice changed, it was lower.

“Yes, I am.” You confessed, you could Steve Rogers, he is a hero.

Steve grabbed your hand, and guided it to his crotch. You gasped when you felt something big and hard there. “It’s absolutely normal, that’s what happens when people that should be together feel, you caused this, princess.” You looked at his cock, your hand never left it. He guided your hand with his, and you heard him groan. “Tomorrow I’ll take you on a date, a nice restaurant.” He took your hand from his crotch and kissed it, you felt warm inside.

“Okay.” You smiled, you couldn’t believe that you were going on a date with Steve Rogers. 

“Come on, your family must be waiting for you.” Steve was holding your hand, you never felt so happy before. Ever since you were a girl, you heard stories about Captain America, and how good he is, you can’t believe that he is your boyfriend now.

“Are we dating?” You whispered to Steve, and he smiled.

“Of course we are.” He replied, and you smiled. You couldn’t believe that you had a boyfriend now. But you knew that you could trust Steve.

Your family was still deep in conversation with Tony Stark, they probably didn't realized that you left them to go the bathroom. You couldn’t help but smile, your father was so excited to have Iron Man’s support. Steve cleared his throat and everybody looked at you two, Tony smiled, and your family was in shock, you were holding hands with Captain America. Steve approached your father and shook his hand.

“You must be Y/N’s father, it’s an honour to meet you.” Your father mumbled a likewise, he was still in shock.

“Ma’am.” He kissed your mother’s hand, and then he talked to Ian and Kaia.

“I just want to let you know that I want to date your daughter, and that I’m taking her on a date tomorrow.” He hugged you and you put your cheek on his broad chest, you felt his heartbeat, it was soothing.

“I’m really happy for you, Cap.” Tony was the first to congratulate you and Steve, followed by your family. 

“I can’t wait for you to be completely mine.” He whispered in your ear, and the tingles came back, is it always going to be like this next to your boyfriend?

[thekillerssluts]

Will Butler: “I am very American and that is my thing I have to deal with“

In times like these, where some of us are reflecting on what the future will bring and what role we can play to make it more bearable, Will Butler uses his new solo record “Generations” to ask profound questions in a very intense and compelling way.

As a member of the renowned Indie Rock Band Arcade Fire his fans quite often perceive the multitalented musician as an entertainer who likes goofing around with his bandmates and who gets carried away on all kinds of escapades on his instruments. Nevertheless, there is a very serious person behind that facade who is deeply involved in community work with a strong political opinion. Not only a Master’s Degree from Harvard in public policy can prove that, but also his engagement in countless events with political focus.

It was a special honor to chat with Will Butler about his new solo record “Generations”. An album which sounds quite joyous at first glance but has a lot to offer when you listen closely. We talked about how the Covid crisis affected his work and life, how he deals with the political situation in the US and how it is for him as a live enthusiast to not be able to perform his new record on stage:

Great to have you back with us! Last time you talked to my colleague Gabi about your first solo album “Policy”. That was quite a while ago.  

Oh yes, many years ago. Five years and a lot changed since then.

How is life treating you, how is the whole Covid crisis treating you?

It’s been weird six month. This summer I am in New York. The summer felt pretty good, it seems we are through the worst and people were out and about and going back to living their lives. Now fall comes and we will see what happens.

How does it feel to release an album in those times? We interviewed artists with quite opposite opinions. Some say people can´t focus on music at the moment as they are distracted with more important things while others say it’s especially important now to have the distraction of music. Which side are you on?

What I have been seeing is that people are very grateful for music that has come out, both a as a distraction but also as a spiritual nourishment, like some sort of comfort. Music sometimes works like food, where it comforts you and make you ready for the fight ahead. That side to me is quite beautiful.

Honestly, I was very thankful that you released that album. For me music is exactly what you just described, it gives me comfort and positiveness. It often helps to escape reality, although I have to say that your album “Generations” pushes you right into reality.

(laughing) Oops.

I have the feeling it´s not an album for pure distraction, it´s music you have to dive deep into and confront.

Yes, it definitely has an urgency to it. It is contiguous with the last four or five years which have been very intense, especially in the US but all around the world. So, it´s definitely coming from the same soil as this mad year.

I think you already started working on the album before the whole lockdown happened?

I finished recording the album on March 9, I thought that was the perfect time, so it was marked in my calendar. It happened that just a few days later New York shut down and went into complete lockdown. Mixing then took probably the next six weeks; half the record was mixed in Montreal. And suddenly we had to deal with a lot of things like schools closing, people had to figure out helping their parents and how to get help for other people. It was suddenly chaos and a terrifying time. That itself was complicated even though only the mixing was left to do.

Interestingly enough the record sounds as if it was written with all the things happening already in your head. It fits so much with the times.

Yes, I kept checking in with the record and I thought yes, it’s still the same world. So much  has come out of the police crisis, the refugee crisis happening at the same time, which is still ongoing. These where part of the impetus for the world we are in right now. The pandemic is particularly strange and not what I was imagining. It just adds to the weirdness that was already there.

I saw you live several times with your band Arcade Fire and also solo. You seem to be such a live person. The new songs sound to me like they’re made for being performed live. How do you feel about not being able to play them now?

I am really sad to not be touring this fall. I planned on touring the US before the election in September and October. I wanted to do political town halls where I can have local politicians and invite activists to talk about shit. Now I´m very sad to not be able to do that. It´s such a crazy time and I want to be useful, useful in a sense of being able to talk to people in different cities about important stuff. It´s hard to not have that toolbox. Also, the songs were very much written live. I booked shows before we went into the studio and we were trying to figure out how to play the songs live.

That sounds tough, so it´s even more devastating not being able to do it. What do you do now to raise your voice?

It´s hard. I´m not that good at the internet. I do some stuff online but this is not my natural medium. So what I’m doing is I´m talking to friends, my wife and I are also very active in our community. I think it´s very important to have that intimate connection to friends and family and talk to them.

Listening to your lyrics you seem to have a lot of questions but no answers. I think none of us do, but it makes exchange of thoughts even more important to make sure the head is not exploding.

Yes exactly. For me music is a force that is moving forward, by its nature it is a creative act. To me there is hope in the music and hope in the drums that are a bit of a propulsion. But there is not a lot of hope or knowledge in the head. I think that is a bit true for all of us these days. Our heads are completely toasted. Nevertheless, there is still hope in our friendships, there is still hope in our neighborhoods, there is still hope in our families.

It´s great that you talk about hope. That would have been actually my last question, what gives you hope? I think we all need something positive to not go totally mental.

Yes, very much though and you have to be grateful to see a lot of people around you being safe and remind yourself that you are not alone. Follow the ones who have a good common sense and surround yourself with the good ones out there.

What I learned is also being thankful for the little things and everything we took for granted for a long time. I, for example, took concerts for granted. I could never imagine that there is a world without live music. When I see videos from gigs it feels like another life.

You are so right. I could also never envision that this is going to happen and now I´m like what? It´s genuinely deeply confusing. It is going to echo in our lives for a very long time how strange this year was.

Talking about how important friends and family are – you have recorded “Generations” with the same solo band as “Policy”. Do you need that intimacy of knowing the people well you work with?

Yes, my actual touring band consisted of my wife’s sister Julie, my wife contributed a lot to the record – she is a great musician, and Sara Dobbs who is a friend and was our neighbor in New York. My drummer Miles is also part of it. There is a lot there, we’ve been playing together for five years now. There is a lot of instinct and call and response, that’s hard to manufacture. That´s how it works; you always work with the people you are familiar with.

You come from a very musical family with your grandfather Alvino Rey being a musician, your mom playing the harp, you and your brother in the same band. Is the title “Generations” referring to that legacy?

Yes, very much so. My mom’s grandfather was the last son of a Mormon pioneer from across the American west. He decided to be a musician and he encouraged his children to be musicians. My grandmother, who grew up in a family band, married the grand Alvino, they had kids who were all musicians, so there is a beautiful heritage that stretches back and such a deep privilege to have. But there are also very horrifying things you inherit, every country and every people inherit their different stretch of horrors, as part of why they are where they are. In America it is particularly situated around race and gender. I think we are starting to unpack those burdens as a country but this will take a couple of generations.

Tackling those inherited problems will be even harder if Trump will be elected again.

(sighs) That’s going to be really dark. I can´t predict anything anymore, my capacity for prediction is just gone but if it happens it will be really bad.

So now we are back at all the questions you have in your songs about the past, the future and where we are.

You are exactly right!

You have lived in Canada for quite some time. Do you sometimes wish you have stayed there?

No, never to be honest. I love Montreal, it´s one of the greatest cities in the world and I have friends and family there. I am very American and that is my thing I have to deal with – these are my problems, I´m a citizen here – let´s try to fix it to the extent we can.

Do you see the future differently since you became a father? You have always been a very political person but did something change since you have a family?

Having kids didn´t really change my vision of the past or future in a particular way. It´s not like now I make sure my kids have a better world but I feel like I have learned a lot about humanity, about nature and nurture and where humans come from and particular reasons why they are cruel and why they are kind and something about fundamental things like human love. I learned a lot about all those things in the past years. I feel a great responsibility – not so much to make a better world for them but to make sure that they´ve got their shit together as much as I can.

Unfortunately, we are running out of time. I could go on with you forever. I wish you all the best for the record. I really appreciate that you put some good music out, although it is something you have to get your head around and digest while swaying to the joyful tunes.

Thank you. This is something very meaningful. Thank you for letting me know.

I have to be honest I also need a deeper thought about your video for “Bethlehem” which you just have released.

I´m thinking in metaphors my whole life, so I was like let´s just cook our way through this one. Let´s just cook some of our anger and fear into a big meal.

To me at first glance it looked like a big feast inspired by Klu Klux Klan in a way. Watching it once I was not quite sure what feelings to have about the scenery; if it’s something positive or negative.

Oh wow, I was not intending that but that is not the worst vision of it. It was part of the goal to create something beautiful but also horrifying. It´s a horror film kind of comedy. It should be contradictory, so you are absolutely right with your feelings.  

So again, good luck for the record and let´s hope that we can get all back together again at a concert and celebrate and sing and shout together and enjoy the moment.

Thank you. Thank you so much. And yes let´s hope so (sighs). Fingers crossed on that one.

https://fastforward-magazine.de/will-butler-i-am-very-american-and-that-is-my-thing-i-have-to-deal-with/

[justsassysworld]

Five Demons And A Baby Part 4

Five Demons And A Baby Part 4

Zhuk x Fem!reader

Warnings: Nsfw, Nsft, oral sex, vaginal sex, erotic massage

Waking the next morning, you find yourself equal parts nervous and excited. Today could very easily be a huge turning point in your life. You try closing your eyes for a few more moments of peace, when they fly back open. What the hell am I going to wear? What should you wear? Panic sets in as you try to plan with no idea what to plan for.

You bolt up, rushing to the lush closet holding your clothes. Your eyes flit from piece to piece, never settling on any one thing. Just as you start to hyperventilate two very strong, very large arms wrap around your waist.

"Breathe, svezda moya," the tall Russian growls into your ear. "There is no need for such worry."

You fold your arms over his, taking comfort in his embrace. Turning, you smile up at him, really taking in his handsome face, his strong, stubbled jaw, thick brows, full lips. The way his dark hair lightens at his temples, how the green blends as it curls at his collar, it really makes you happy you sent that letter.

Not letting yourself stop to over analyze, you slowly move your arms up his defined arms to wrap around his neck, once there you apply some pressure. His smirk lets you know that he knows exactly what you're doing, and he slowly starts to bend his head, as you rise onto your tiptoes. Never in your life have you felt as delicate and petite as you do in this mans arms.

When your lips are a hairs breath from his, you both pause, seeming to seek the others approval. Looking deep into his eyes, you see a hunger and a passion that must surely match our own. Wanting, no needing, to taste his emotions, you surges through those last few centimeters.

Your lips crash into his, your longings clear in your furiousity, a fever that doesn't go unmatched. He crushes you to him as his lips begin their languid and thorough exploration. Almost immediately, you notice how different this kiss is making you feel. Where Scarabee's kiss is a hundred shot firework lighting up the night sky, this is molten magma, flowing deep and true, changing you in ways you can't possibly notice until the passion cools.

He cradles you as he starts to pull you back to the bed. Lost to the moment, you don't care about the date or the wooing, you just want this man. This man whose hands haven't strayed from your waist, but still seem to caress your very soul.

Zhuk stops moving, making you think you've reached the bed and prepare to be dragged down and ravished. That's not what happens though. He slowly pulls up, not wanting to put any more distance between you than is necessary, his forehead against yours.

"Oh, zaika moya," he groans. "You will be the death of us."

He steps away, straightening his sweater, making you realize just how firmly you had gripped it. You both struggle to catch your breath, though he does compose himself a little bit faster. Moving back towards the door, he reaches it and turns. "For this morning, wear something light and comfortable,” he says before leaving the room.

"Something light and comfortable," you mumble to yourself, inspecting your closet. Finally, you decide to just wear your favorite warm weather outfit.

You take a quick but decadent shower vowing to really enjoy the grandiose space at another time. Debating on if you should wear any makeup, and what to do with your hair, you throw on your clothes. Looking in the mirror, you finally decide to throw your hair up and to just wear a light gloss on your lips. Shoes are a much easier decision to make, since you decide to just pull on your favorite sneakers. Giving yourself a final look over, you nod, liking your final look.

No longer hesitating, you throw the door open and find a very sexy Russian waiting for you. He looks you over, dragging his gaze over your body. You feel every inch of that gaze and answer his pleased smile with one of your own. You take his offered arm.

"Ready, svezda moya?"

Biting your lip, you nod and answer, "Yes." The smile he gives you in return is truly magnificent.

He leads you down several new halls and corridors, pointing out rooms along the way, but you don't even try to remember them, far too excited to even try. After many twists and turns, he finally moves to open a door. Walking in, you stutter to a stop.

You may not know that much about cars, but you can tell just how over the top the collection before you is. There are cars in every shape, size, and color. Some look brand new, others are timeless classics, and all are absolutely pristine. Well, all but the very familiar one at the end.

"Is-is that my car?" you ask, glancing up at him. A smirk is his answer. "What the-"

He pulls you in for a quick kiss before leading you to a luxury sedan. Opening your door, he helps you into your seat. The seats are incredibly soft and so much more comfortable than you could have imagined. While he walks around and takes his place in the drivers seat, you take it all in, the sights, feels, and the smells.

The engine purrs as Zhuk fires it up. With one hand, he steers out of the garage, as the other grips one of yours. There is a comfortable silence in the cab and you watch him while the world blurs by outside. For all his apparent strength and external gruffness, you watch his face soften and relax as you get closer to where ever you're going. All while you enjoy the peace and the warmth of his hand.

He pulls to a stop in a nondescript part of town and you feel your brows pull down in confusion. Before you can question where you are, he pulls out a thin piece of what looks like silk.

"Do you trust me, zaika?"

Deciding that honesty is your best policy, you reply, "I'm not sure yet."

A sharp grin is his answer. "Good, I will always reward the truth." You reward is another toe curling kiss.

"Wow," you whisper.

"Oh, svezda moya," he chuckles against your lip. "I know trust must be built, so I am asking you to let me do this. I promise, I mean you no harm, I just want to surprise you."

Nodding slightly, you turn your body and he slips the silken material over your eyes. His hands slip down to your shoulders. Teeth nip at the sensitive skin there and you let out a shocked moan.

"How-how long until we get there?" you stutter out, hoping it won't be long.

"Not long," he chuckles.

Thankfully, he's telling the truth. In less than five minutes, you feel the car pulling to a stop.

"Wait here," he orders before you hear him climb from the car. Less than a minute later, you hear the latch release and feel a slight breeze. A hand drags across your chest, pausing over your tits before he reaches down and unbuckles you.

Taking both of your hands, Zhuk pulls you from your seat. With one hand holding yours, the other resting just above your ass, he guides you, helping you over and around unseen obstacles. Finally, he pulls you to a stop.

Pulling your body flush against his hard one, he murmurs, "Are you ready?"

Nodding, you whisper back, "Yes." One arm wrapping around your waist, the other reaching up to your blindfold.

The bright sunlight momentarily blinds you. Blinking, you wait less than patiently for your eyes to adjust. Taking a moment, when they finally focus, you turn up your face to the man standing behind you in confusion. The only thing before you is a fairly unassuming building with tall fences snaking from it.

You open your mouth, but he cuts you off, "You'll see." Pressure at your lower back has you moving up to the door. Instead of knocking, he simply opens the door and ushers you inside.

A surprised squeal catches in your throat.

The whole room is filled with people holding, feeding, swaddling, and just looking at a variety of baby animals. Some are fuzzy, some are scaly, and others are covered in down, but they all have one very important thing in common; they all are so fucking cute.

A very kind looking woman with a huge grin approaches you both, her hand outstretched to take Zhuk's. "Mr. Sloggoth? It's such a pleasure to meet you."

"Mrs. Abbernath," he returns with a nod. "The pleasure is mine. Allow me to introduce my companion." He does and then asks, "Might we start the tour?"

Hours later, you lean your head back against the car's headrest, a huge grin stretching your lips. You'd seen, and even held and fed, so many unique and amazing animals. Apparently, Zhuk is a huge supporter of animals. So huge in fact, he set up multiple foundations that are geared to help them, including the one he took you to. The whole purpose of this one being rescuing "exotic pets" from, and you quote, "Entitled asshole with more money than empathy for living things.”

There were several snakes, none a species you recognize, a hand full of young penguins, and even a baby emu and flamingo, but the ones you were really drawn to were the mammals. You saw everything from tiny, adult hedgehogs, some slightly bigger adult fennec foxes, a fairly young wolf with wolf-dog pups, and a hand full of various big cat cubs, a couple of bear cubs, and even a full grown male lion.

"Fair enough," he grunts, taking your hand and steering you out of the parking lot, in the opposite direction from where you came. You give him a suspicious look, but he just keeps his eyes on the road and tracing circles in the back of a your hand with his thumb. Hearing you open your mouth to draw in breath, he says, "No. It is a surprise," in a tone that invites no questions.

Zhuk glances your way when you snort in derision. Before he can say anything, you ask, "What kind of jackass names a male lion Nala? And don't say someone who's thumbing their nose at gender norms. Anyone who's conscientious enough to think like that isn't going to have a lion for a pet in the first place, and anyone dumb enough to buy one, is dumb enough to not at least google "Lion King" before naming them."

Pouting, you flop back in your chair, but you refuse to let go of his hand.

You try to focus on the world passing by your window, but between the excitement of the morning and the exhaustion of growing another person, you find your eyes growing heavy. You try to fight it, but the smooth ride has you dozing, a deep voice humming sees you sinking deeper.

Feeling arms wrap around you and slowly lift you from the car, you slowly wake, blinking against the light. The first thing you see is a huge, opulent room, the likes of which you've never seen in person, but had always hoped to experience when you'd saved up enough money. This is the most expensive luxury hotel in the area, and Zhuk is casually strolling through, with you in his arms, acting like he owns the place. You wiggle, trying to get him to put you down, an action that's become a bit too familiar, but he simply gives you a warm smile and keeps moving.

Instead of stopping at the reception, he breezes right on passed, seemingly headed to the bank of elevators. At the last hundred feet, he turns, making his way to what looks like a nondescript section of wall, but it's no wall. Opening a small panel, he punches in a code so long you couldn't remember the amount of numbers, let alone the actual code. Finally, there's a quiet snick and an elevator shows itself.

He carries you inside and the door slides shut, starting moving immediately. As the elevator ascends, he finally sets you down, but instead of giving you space, he backs you against the wall. His large hand cups your cheek before he leans in and places a heart meltingly sweet kiss on your lips. Never in your life have you had so much casual, meaningful affection. These men are going to do terribly amazing things for and to you. The elevator pulls to a gentle stop, but still he holds you. It's a sweet kiss, a longing kiss. A kiss to make you long for more and beg to stay. He is making you crave him, making you wonder about the rest of them.

"Oh zaika," he groans, finally pulling away. "You tempt me so, but we have an appointment that I will not let us miss."

Dragging you through the extravagant space, he doesn't give you a chance to take it in before you find yourself in a fully equipped spa wing, including a couple people waiting for you with warm smiles.

Shock has you jerking to a stop, but gentle pressure at the small of your back has you moving again. An incredibly soft robe is placed in your hands.

"Mr. Sloggoth, we have everything ready for you," the young woman informs. "Just let us know when you're ready for us.” The pair both nod before exiting the suite.

"What's going on, Zhuk?" you ask. "I know I can't do most of the spa experiences."

His gentle chuckle is a caress just as firm as those given by his hands. He takes your hand and pulls you near.

Cupping your belly, he grins. "I know svezda moya, I have taken such limitations into account. If you are agreeable, I will give you a full body message before calling on the others to give us both facials, manicures, and pedicures."

"Really?" you gasp, voice and face doing nothing to hide your excitement. "But what about you?"

"This is for you, well," he tilts his head, a knowing smirk lighting his face. "I will be getting my own pleasures."

The look in his eyes shows you exactly what his pleasure will be, though you suspect you will definitely enjoy yourself.

"That is," he adds, watching your expression. "As long as you are comfortable with that."

You bite your lip, thinking before you ask, "Will this be a 'happy ending' massage? And will I be reciprocating?"

A growl rumbles through the air and a glow lights his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes and calms. "As much I would love that, this is for you. We have all night and I want you to be as relaxed as possible."

He's really willing to get me off without getting any himself? All because he's trying to woo you, to get to know you, maybe to fall in love.

"Allow me to escort you." He takes your elbow, leading you to a warm, dimly lit room, with candles spread throughout and soothing music playing in the back ground. Just being here has your heart rate slowing and your breathing calming.

"I will give you some time to get ready. If you are open to an... inclusive experience, disrobe and lay under the towel. If not, there is a bikini you can put on." Before turning to leave, Zhuk drops his lips against yours.

Leaning back against the table, you bite your lip as you watch him walk outside, or more accurately, his ass. Shaking your head, you force yourself to focus on the dilemma at hand, bikini or no bikini. You think about the others, would they be upset? No, is the immediate answer that comes to mind. They all knew this was a possibility and it seems they all have their own plans for you. So really, the only thing you truly have to decide is if you want everything he's offering right now, or try for more later. Holding up the tiny pieces of cloth, you make up your mind.

A few minutes later, Zhuk finds you laying on the massage table, on your stomach. Turning your head, you smile at him. "Hi

"Hello, zaika," he replies, coming to stand next to you, sleeves rolled up. "Are you ready?"

You nod, then ask, "Is it okay for me to laying like this?"

"Yes, you are perfect."

Your eyes follow him as he moves to grab a bottle of oil off a table. Thighs clenching, you force yourself to close your eyes, too tempted by the sight of him. Startled when you feel him pull the towel down your back, you know when he realizes you aren't wearing anything beneath it. The air grows thick with your combined arousal.

A splash hits your back, and he quickly rubs it in. Next comes both arms, then he moves the towel off your legs, leaving your ass as the only thing covered and without oil. Already you feel incredibly relaxed, sinking deeper into the cushion.

His deep voice blends into the ambiance, "Can I continue?"

"I don't know," you snark, too relaxed to know better. "Can you?"

"Careful, zaika," he growls, firm hand gripping your ass with a bruising force. "I may not be able to punish you fully for the time being, but I will keep track of such things."

His threat does far more to excite you, rather than instill fear, but still, you don't want to risk doing or saying anything that might have him deciding not to continue.

Turning your head to look at him, you practically beg, "Please, Zhuk, Please."

Smiling, he grazes one of his knuckles down your cheek. "Of course, svezda moya." He teases a quick kiss against the back of your neck, before finally removing your towel completely. Before you can truly adjust to the air caressing your skin, the oil is all ready rubbed in, and the massage can truly begin.

Zhuk is incredibly thorough, starting at your hands working his way way up to your shoulders and neck. Then he went down to your feet, kneading and working way up. Moans and gasps you've never heard escape you as he releases tensions you didn't even know you hand.

Your breathing quickens as he gets closer and closer to your ass, finger digging into your inner thighs, so close to where you desperately need him. Inching your legs apart, you try to tell him what you want without having to say a word.

Unfortunately, he doesn't take your silent plea, instead, he goes back up to your shoulders. His firm fingers find knots and kinks you never realized were there. Even as you tell yourself to focus on what you're feeling, what you're feeling has you more distracted than ever. An almost constant whine is coming from your throat as you desperately fight not to grind your clit against the table. Still, your hips start to move uncontrollably.

Chuckling, he finally starts kneading your lower back, occasionally grazing the top of your cheeks, which isn't helping at all. You clench your fists, wrestling for control, when his finger starts playing at your cleft. Legs spreading even more, you hope to draw him further, but even if it doesn't work, the comparatively cool air feels so good against your heated flesh.

"Oh god," you moan as his strong hands caress and grip your ass. His fingers dip and play, dancing over your rosette, sneaking ever closer to your increasingly desperate hole. You suck in a gasp when he ghosts over your wet pussy... and let out a disappointed scream when he immediately pulls away.

Frustration has you flipping over to glare up at him, not caring one iota that you're flashing him. Laughter is his only response. "I'm sorry, Suezda moya, but I did need you to turn over for me." But the look he's dragging down your body tells you just how sorry he is, not at all.

Still glaring, you lay back, legs splayed. You're already so incredibly horny you feel no shame. Looking right at him, your hand slides over your hip, heading straight for your mound, but just before you reach your clit, a hand grips your wrist.

Zhuk's eyes blaze as he warns, "Careful, your pleasure is mine to give. Try to steal that from me again, and I will tie you down and make you regret it." Part of you wants to test him, but you know he still has more planned for tonight, and you don't want that effort to go to waste. “Do you understand?"

Nodding, you decide to push just a little. "Yes, sir."

Growling, he pulls you into a punishing kiss. He bites and tugs at your lips, stealing your breath. Pulling back, he groans, "Volshebnitsa," against your ear.

With a glare, he takes your shoulders and pushes you back, ordering you to stay with his eyes. You bite your lip as you silently debate whether to keep your eyes open and watch him, or if you should just lay back and enjoy what you know is coming. In the end, you decide to trust and just feel.

Just as he did with your back, he starts by coating you in the lotion, only this time, instead of starting at your extremities and working inward, he moves up your arms and down your body, only avoiding the spot between your legs. In fact, your mound is the only place he truly pays no attention to.

Starting at your feet, he pushes and prods, making your toes clench and release.

As he moves up your calfs, you relish the occasional catch of calluses. Teeth catch your lower lip as you try to hold in your whimpers, not that it does much good. Firm fingers kneading your inner thighs has gasps and moans breaking free.

You so desperately want to play with your nipples or maybe stroke your clit, but you won't risk getting in trouble. Not wanting to blatantly defy him, you subtly rub your thighs together. Strong hands immediately pry them apart again.

They slip and slide up your slick skin, tips digging, nails lightly grazing. He reaches around and grips your ass before having his hands follow your hips, thumbs brushing the creases between your thighs and mound. And then he's gone.

You surge up on your elbows, making sure he sees your grumpy pout. There is no remorse in his answering smirk, only a malicious gleam that tells you he's enjoying your reaction to his teasing.

Falling back as his hand travels up your stomach, you resign yourself to having to persevere through his torture. I will not let him win, you think to yourself, deciding to hold back your reactions to keep a hold of as much control as you can. Even as he very gently massages your stomach, the rest of you clenches. Your eyes squeeze shut, you set your jaw, and tense your shoulders.

Slow, deep chuckles fill the space. "Zaika, you wish to hide your reaction from me?" he asks, obviously not expecting an answer since he adds, "Challenge accepted."

Before you can analyze what he means, his hands are on you once again upon you, but this time it's no gentle tease. He twists and pulls on your nipples, making you fight not to respond. Then, something warm and wet closes over your right nipple. Your fight is lost as you let out a strangled gasp.

His eyes glint up at you and you feel his sharp teeth nibble on your hardened nub. The other is being pinched tight.

"Oh god," you gasp, one hand weaving through his hair, the other covering his pinching one. Your reaction has you wondering what exactly is in that oil, but honestly, you're far too horny to care.

"Zhuk, please! I need you!" the voice coming from you is completely unrecognizable.

He places a gentle peck on your nipple before standing and removing his shirt. You follow him up, catching him off guard when he frees his head and finds you undoing his pants. With his help, you have him completely naked in just seconds. Kneeling in front of him, you glance up, asking with your eyes if you can touch him. He gives you a small nod, so you reach out, hands slipping up his thighs. Muscles twitch as you explore them. His fingers tangle in your hair. Your hands slide over his hips to cup his ass, which brings your face very close to his cock.

Looking up, you watch his face as you very intentionally breathe on his member. His eyes are squeezed shut and jaw is clenched, making you feel like the most powerful woman in the world. One hand plays at his hip, the other teasing between the base of his shaft and his balls.

Moving close, you treat it like an ice cream cone, alternately swirling your tongue and suckling at the head. A constant growling hum reaches your ears, with several moans and groans letting you know how he's liking it. His grip in your hair grows tighter when you start to trail your tongue up and down his shaft, following the veins.

Spitting on both of your palms, you start pumping him with both fists and playing with the tip. Your tongue dips and explores at his slit, tasting him. As a quick surprise, you take him as deep as you can, sucking hard.

A sudden roar rips through the room, and you find yourself cradled in strong arms, being rushed somewhere new. Flinging open a door, you shriek when you're suddenly flying through the air. Before your back has fully settled on the soft bed, he's there; one hand playing with a nipple, the other wrapped around a thigh, holding you down, all while his tongue starts its own exploration.

Starting at your clit, he slowly circles it, listening, feeling, learning your spots. Whimpers and whines fly from you, helping him with his studies. Once he's figured out some tricks, he moves lower, starting to thrust into you with his tongue, tasting you. While he drinks his fill, his fingers dance over your little bundle of nerves.

"Ah, Ah, Ahh!" you cry out, already so close to release.

His tongue disappears, only to be replaced by his finger while his mouth latches on to clit, sucking, sending you into orbit. The pleasure of the orgasm is so intense you try to jerk away, but he holds you tight. There is nothing you can do but lay back and experience.

Zhuk finally slows, letting the orgasm ebb. As you begin to regain control of your body, you reach down and pull him up, well, he lets you pull him up.

"Please, Zhuk,” you pant, body still craving more. "I want you."

Nodding, he positions himself over you, but still he asks, "Are you sure, svezda moya? Do you want me to wear a condom?" The concern in his voice almost makes you cry, telling how much he already cares for you.

You shake your head, "No, you can't get me any more pregnant, and if I remember right, I was told y'all can't get 'human' diseases."

He chuckles and shakes his head, before kissing you softly. "Yes, zaika."

Wrapping your arms and legs around him, you press kisses across his jaw as he lines himself up with your entrance. His lips take yours as he starts thrusting forward. Unlike so many men who start with long, deep strokes, Zhuk is more tempered. His strokes are slow and shallow, exploring with his cock what he'd explored with his fingers and tongue just minutes earlier, and it's so effective.

There are no words that can truly explain what you are feeling in this moment. It's more than just the physical, which is admittedly spectacular. It's the connection that's quickly growing between you, which ties into the feelings you've already built with Scarabee. It's the way he's already shown such care to not only you, but to the baby, and all those animals back at the rescue.

You can't say you're surprised by your new, but intense emotions you are feeling towards him, even if they have come on so fast. It may not be love right now, but you can see how easily it will be to fall for him, for all of them.  

Finally, he starts to pick up pace, still not going very deep, but consistently rubbing your g-spot. His weight shifts and there's a finger on your clit, rubbing in small circles.

"Oh god," you moan into his mouth, hips moving to match his, consistent pressure on your clit, inside you, combine with the feel of him on top of you and the way he tastes, and you cum again, muscles clamping down as you scream out in pleasure. Thrusting harder and faster, Zhuk quickly follows you over the edge, murmuring in a mix of Russian and English. Hot sperm fills you, making you shudder.

Zhuk practically collapses on top of you, rolling and pulling you on top of him. You both take a long time to relax and calm back down, sweat cooling and drying on your skin. You lie there for what feels like an eternity, probably falling asleep for at least a few minutes.

Moaning in displeasure, you clutch him, not liking him sliding out from beneath you.

"Hush, little one," he cajoles, managing to break free. "I need to get something to clean you, and I need to cancel a few reservations."

Disappointment fills you, "I'm sorry. I-"

He cuts you off with a kiss. "Do not blame yourself. I was no passive participate and I am very happy with the turn tonight took. I will call us room service and will ask you to accompany me to the shower."

You tap your finger against your lips, as if in deep thought. "I think I can accept your terms, but I do worry that I might not have the strength to make it all the way to the shower."

Laughter babbles up when he hoists you up and whisks you away, taking you to be prepped for more to come.

@janitor-boy @1-rosewiththorns @doyouhearthatsound-after-dark @dilfyjuice

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Nine - Working On a Dream

Today is a pivotal day for LFG. Since its creation, LFG has grown exponentially, reaching more markets, both in variety and quantity. We have invested in hundreds of companies, promoting their growth, and supporting numerous humanitarian causes. However, the world is changing, and so is the way business is done. Therefore, today is not only about growth in and of itself, but also choosing how we grow.

Victor typed the first words of the inauguration speech on his computer and paused, reading it. This was indeed a pivotal day, not only for his company, not only for the field of economics itself, but also for his wife. After all the pain she had gone through, she deserved this win, and he was more than happy to be the one facilitating it.

Financial vocabulary has expanded as the world’s demands expanded. Companies are evaluated not only by their success, they are also expected to obtain certification, to hold to basic standards, and have an environmental policy. As an investor, LFG needs to be mindful of and excel in meeting these demands. Therefore, I am proud to announce the creation of a new subsidiary, Loveland’s Consulting Group. It is with great honor that I present to you LCG’s CEO, one of the most promising minds in economics according to the Global Economic Studies Association, and my wife, Andrea Lee.

He looked at the pictures on his desk, one of their wedding day, another one taken secretly when she was reading leaning against the willow tree, and the other of them after rock climbing. In all of them she was smiling, happy, and strong. That was the look he wanted to see on her face every day.

He wondered how she would look at that moment. Andrea was certainly busy, polishing the last details of the remodel, making sure every guest had RSVP’d to her invitation, dealing with caterers and bartenders. He remembered how, many years ago, he did the same. Fifteen years ago, to be exact.

He was young and inexperienced, but he had the stamina of a twenty-year-old with the determination of a seasoned man, and that made him unstoppable. He was cocky, confident that he would be able to deal with the rotten world and finish a winner. That cockiness had later caused him much grief, and cost him many sleepless nights. He remembered his first meeting with an important investor, and how unprepared he felt for it, so much that he had to stop time to steady himself, as he was on the verge of a panic attack. That was the day that he knew that no matter how prepared he felt, he would always be lacking something. That meeting alone taught him that this world was incredibly cruel, and he needed to work hard and be completely confident of what he was doing if he wanted to win. And as the good student Victor had always been, he had learned his lesson. He started working harder than ever before, so he would never feel that helplessness again.

His wife, however, wouldn’t go through so much trouble. She was older, and life had taught her a few hard lessons as well, and she was incredibly insightful. She also possessed a quality Victor had a hard time mastering, and that was the main reason why she was perfect for this job: she was good with people. Right at the beginning, when she was just an intern helping him clean up the mess Ted had made, she had shown incredible proficiency in relating to the partners, offering good arguments and solutions for a continued collaboration with the company, so much so that after her departure partners had called to demand to work specifically with her. She wasn’t as experienced as Victor when it came to investments, but she was good at what he did the worst in, working closely with the partners. Victor could use that. With his knowledge and Andrea’s people skills, they would be unstoppable.

Victor was eager to see what she had done to the fifth floor. She had kept him at bay, saying she wanted to surprise him on the inauguration day, and he had obliged, wanting to make her feel like this was truly her project. However, curiosity was getting the best of him, and he was starting to find this whole idea of surprising him absurd. She could use his help, he told himself, as he headed for the elevator. Maybe she was feeling overwhelmed, and could some words of support.

Exiting the elevator, he found the big glass doors closed. He wasn’t sure of what to do. If he called Andy, she would send him back up. No, he wouldn’t have that. He knocked on the glass doors, and one of the interns, Kenny, came to open the door.

“Oh, Mr. Lee.” He quickened to put aside the coffee cup he was holding, an embarrassed look on his face. “I’ll let Andrea, I mean, Mrs. Lee know you are here.”

“No need, I’ll walk myself in.” Victor gave the intern his best unapproachable face, so he wouldn’t even consider stopping him. Without another word, he went through the hall, dawning on him later that he had no idea where his wife was, or where her office was located.

Victor suddenly noticed that, even for a company that was yet to start business, LCG was eerily quiet. It was merely a day before the inauguration, the room should be bustling with people busying themselves with their laptops and phones. His wife was also nowhere to be seen.

Obviously alone with his thoughts, Victor looked around and for the first time appreciated the decoration. The whole place was decorated in earthy tones, with the occasional accent of yellow and blue, and one could find plants pretty much everywhere. While LFG had this elegant modern, imponent decoration, designed almost to show status and to intimidate, LCG felt cozy. It was inviting and warm, allowing dialog and confraternization, which was probably exactly what Andrea was aiming for.

“You’re here? I told you I would come and meet you.” He heard her voice and turned, seeing her peeking outside from the glass door of the conference room.

“I’m not known for doing what I’m told.” He smiled.

“I’m just finishing up a training session here.” Andrea smiled back. “I’ll be right out to give you a tour, Mr. Curious CEO.”

Victor watched as his wife reentered the conference room, noticing for the first time that all her staff were there. He looked around again. The floor was brimming with potential and the energy of new ideas, new possibilities on the horizon. LFG was like this once. He could still remember his younger self, barely a man, at his own inauguration.

He had hired the best caterer, the best interior designers, and invited Loveland’s elite to the inauguration. He had delivered the perfect speech and was received with applause. He had the best media coverage one could hope for, the reputable finance newspapers calling him a “prodigy child”, anticipating for him the greatest conquests. He couldn’t have wished for more, everything was perfect.

And his father was yet to arrive.

The fact was that Gregory Lee was displeased with the starting of LFG. He had always expected Victor to work for him in his company, as his number two, and when Victor said he wanted to start his own company, his father was deeply offended.

Victor had never meant to aggravate his father, his sole intention was to prove to him that he could bring honor to the family name on his own. He wanted nothing more than to make his father proud. But the painful truth was that no matter what he did, he would never achieve that.

He recognized the familiar face among his guests. It was his father’s lawyer, Derek.

“Good afternoon, Victor.” He greeted him dryly.

“Welcome.” Victor shook his hand. “Did my father not come?”

“I came on his behalf. As you can imagine, Mr. Lee has more important business to attend than to enable your pubescent illusions.” Derek’s tone was condescending, almost mocking. “No matter what other fools may say, it is obvious that LFG will not last six months. You lack the expertise and to be frank, the strength to keep it going.”

“He’s not coming?” Victor wasn’t surprised, but part of him wanted to believe he had heard wrong.

“And apparently the acumen as well. I believe that has already been established .” Derek sneered. “Let’s hope, for your benefit, that your father will still take you after this whole thing collapses. Enjoy your little party.”

Hours later, after guests and staff had left, Victor sat in his office, deep in thought. His father still saw him as an impressionable spoiled little child, despite his constant efforts to impress him. He had come extremely far, and still, his father ignored his feats, even sending other people to mock him.

To make matters worse, Victor feared his father was right. He feared that LFG was doomed to fail, and all the families depending on his paycheck would be left in ruin, because of his dream. If he fell, many would fall with him. And that was a weight that he couldn’t possibly bear.

Feelings of solitude and despair dug deep in Victor’s skin, and he started to feel his breath turning shallow, as well as the sense of dread that announced one of his panic attacks.

Victor held his breath, clenching his fists in anger. No. Not this time. He wouldn’t allow it.

He would fully accept his solitude, wear it like an armor. Yes, he was inexperienced, but he would work harder than he ever worked before. He would prove to his father and Derek that he wasn’t a delusional child, he would win their respect.

He would find her. And he would no longer be alone.

Victor closed the door of his office as he left, leaving his  frail childish self behind. And he never felt weak again.

The sound of a door opening and people hurriedly leaving woke him up from his reverie. Andrea’s employees, noticing he was standing there, greeted him sheepishly. Even though he was not their employer, it was evident to him that he evoked some kind of fear in them, so they fled to their own places as quickly as possible. Andrea remained inside, disconnecting her laptop from the large screen in the conference room.

“Come in.” He heard her call. “Come see the conference room.”

The room was, like in LFG, surrounded by glass panes, apart from the wall that held the screen. However, that was not the first thing he noticed.

“A round table? Will I also find a sword stuck in a rock?” He joked.

“You don’t like it?” Andrea’s face fell. “I chose it because, well, what you do and I are different things. You need to exert dominance, and I need to promote dialogue. But if you feel it’s not fitting. I can-”

“Don’t you dare change a thing.” Victor interrupted her with a stern look. “It is your project, you do as you see fit. Your idea is quite good, actually. I would never have thought of it.”

“Yes, you would.” She squinted at him playfully. “Do you want some coffee? I could use some.”

“I don’t want to keep you, I’m sure you have plenty to busy yourself with. I just came for a quick look.”

“It’s fine, I could use the break.” She took his hand, leading him outside the room. “Since my husband couldn’t wait for the inauguration, I may as well give him the tour.”

The coffee room was large, with orange and green accents, tables and bean bags scattered all around. It was more vibrant than LFG, and Victor wondered for a moment if his employees would enjoy this atmosphere more than the one they found at LFG. Maybe he could make some small changes as well. Especially concerning the coffee. It was almost aggravating how much better LCG’s coffee was, compared to the one he bought for his staff.

“What brand is this coffee?” He went to the cupboard to look at the package. “It’s delicious.”

“Diane bought it. Yummy, right?” Andrea handed him a sugar packet. “Come, let me show you my office.”

Victor was in awe of what Andrea had done to the place. He noticed, as he walked to her office, how the personnel were happy and excited working, the atmosphere lively and brimming with ideas. A far cry from LFG’s professional aloofness. It felt like he was in a different building altogether.

Andrea’s office was obviously far from minimalistic, but within good taste. True to her character, his wife surrounded herself with things she cherished, some souvenirs he had given her over the time they were together, pictures of her with friends and family, of course, himself. On the light brown toned walls, pictures of trees and forests, the symbol she had borrowed for herself to remind her of strength.

Victor sat next to her on the grey sofa against the wall, decorated with orange and white pillows. And again, Victor felt slightly aggravated.

“Your sofa is more comfortable than mine.” He confessed, adjusting his position on the seat to better feel its softness.

“Diane knows a place.” Andrea laughed. “Really, all you pointed out was Diane’s work.”

“Your decoration is impressive, your coffee is better, your sofa is better.” Victor pretended to be upset. “I changed my mind, I want Diane back.”

“Over my dead body.” Andrea smiled mischievously. “It’s not my fault that you didn’t realize her potential.”

“I did realize yours, did I not?” He teased her back.

“Yes, but mine was obvious.” Andrea chuckled, but couldn’t hide the nervous look in her eyes.

Victor recognized it immediately. He had felt the same way, over a decade ago.

“Feeling nervous?” He held her hand.

“Nervous? No.” She swatted at him. “The correct term would be terrified. On the brink of a heart attack.”

“Excellent.” Victor smirked, sipping his coffee.

“Wait, that’s it? No words of comfort and encouragement?”

“All of those people outside, working for you, they have left an established company to be here. Their fate lies in your hands. If you fail, most of them will be unemployed. You should be terrified.” He frowned at Andrea, who was staring at him, surprised, her eyes wide.

“You are right. You are absolutely right. Oh God.” Andrea lowered her head between her knees. “What am I doing?”

“You are missing my point here.” Victor softened his tone and caressed her curls. “These are fears you should have. I can’t tell you it will all be smooth, because it won’t. There will be times when problems pile up and you’ll be more than willing to give up, but this weight you feel on your back right now won’t let you. Some fear is realistic, even healthy, and it will be your drive. It was mine.”

Andrea looked up at him, an unconvinced look on her face.

“Oh please, you were practically born and raised as a CEO. This is second nature to you.”

“You’d be surprised.” He gave her a self-deprecating smile. “People assume that my father helped me build LFG, but that couldn’t be furthest from the truth. He was on opposing force. He didn’t want me to do this. I was all alone. To him, this was a joke, a delusion I was acting on, with no concrete future.”

“Why am I not surprised to hear that?” Andrea shook her head in disgust.

“I was so young.” Victor chuckled, letting his mind wander to a decade back. “My opponents felt like they could easily fool me, and tried to, on several occasions. I had to be on top of my game at all times, and never let my guard down. I lost count of the sleepless nights I have spent working or worrying about something. Eventually, with experience and age, I gained my footing, but it was touch and go until then. And what kept me going wasn’t pride, or money, or power. It was the fear of disappointing the people that had believed and invested their careers in me, including myself.”

Andrea was silent, considering his words. She wouldn’t have the troubles he had, he was certain of it. She was older, more seasoned, and extremely talented, even if she didn’t see it in herself. She was a fighter, a bright mind deeply respected in the financial market, and despite his small lecture, he knew she wasn’t cocky. But he had to tell her there would be difficult times. And no matter how much he wanted to offer himself as her safety net, he knew she wouldn’t take it.

“That being said, I know you will prosper. And when things go wrong, because that’s inevitable, I want you to know that I am proud of you, provided you don’t let it bring you down or make you give up.”

Without another word, Victor took his wife’s face in his hand, his lips touching hers. Pride, love, gratitude weren’t big enough words to comprise what he felt for her. It was beyond comprehension or explanation.

“And I’m not alone.” She smiled at him. “Neither are you.”

“It’s fair to say my life improved considerably since a certain Portuguese girl came to complete her internship at my company.” He smiled back, pulling her for a kiss.

The door to her office suddenly opened wide.

“I hope you didn’t miss me much!” Diane entered suddenly, pushing a stroller. “Victor, you’re here!” Diane blushed slightly. “That will teach me to knock, I could have found you guys… busy with other affairs.”

“Oh my God, is that little Penny?” Andrea peeked into the stroller. “She’s so beautiful. Can I hold her?”

“Of course you can, you have auntie privileges.” Diane carefully took her baby from the stroller, placing it in Andrea’s arms.

“She’s so perfect, Di, congratulations.” Andrea smiled at the baby in her arms, completely lovestruck. “Victor, come meet Penny.”

Victor was still for a moment, watching her wife’s reactions, any hint of sorrow or pain, but he saw none of that. Only love and wonder. He watched his wife cradling that small child in her arms, he drank in the happy look on her face, and his heart panged, knowing she could never have that. She would have been a wonderful mother. It fit her just right.

“I came to wish you good luck before the inauguration, tomorrow will be too crowded for the baby.” Diane explained. “How are things going?”

“Everything is rolling, I’m pretty close to getting the Tobias account.” Andrea answered as Penny cooed in her arms. “Yes, Aunt Andy nailed the bastard. Girl power.”

“The guy from the dairy factory?” Diane was in awe. “The man is insufferable. How did you do it?”

“Just wait until I show you the list of demands he sent me. It’s on my computer.” Andrea turned to Victor. “Here, hold Penny for a moment.”

Before he could utter a word, he was already holding the baby, Andrea moving fast to her computer to show the said list to Diane. Penny had big blue eyes, just like her mother, that were watching him carefully as he admired her.

“Hello, Penny.” He smiled at her. “I’m Victor. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Penny gave him a toothless grin. “She smiled at me.” He turned to the women.

“She’s very young, Victor, she can’t smile yet.” Andrea gave him a condescending smile. “It’s probably just gas.”

No, it wasn’t. Penny was still smiling at him.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s a dummy.” Victor talked to the baby in a soft voice. “We both know what’s going on, right?”

No wonder Goldman’s eyes shone every time he mentioned his daughter, she was wonderful; heart-meltingly beautiful. He had every reason to be proud of her.

Victor gave her his index finger to hold on to, surprised that a small baby could already have such a strong grip. He wondered if this feeling of warmth in one’s heart, the sense of absolute surrender for someone, was what a parent was supposed to feel. He thought of his own parents, and of how that feeling seemed to evade them completely. For a long time, he believed it was due to his own lack of worth, but now it was clear to him that it wasn’t. He wasn’t the father of this child, she had no other accomplishments but her mere existence, and still, he felt ready to fight for her, if necessary. Or for Ana.

“You are absolutely perfect. Your father is right to feel proud of you.” He whispered to Penny.

The thought crept in, strong but subtle. Victor only noticed it when it sounded in his mind.

When I have my own child, I will let her know I’m proud of her every single day.

When Andrea was struggling with her infertility, he was so occupied trying to heal her that he never took a second to look within and see what he wanted. He wanted to be a father. He wanted to build the family he never had with the love of his life. With her.

[escapingpost]

Five Things I Know About Cho Seungyoun

1.) Text messaging is an art form. An art form he knows nothing about.

You were at Seungyoun’s house, a place that you knew too well. You were sprawled on his living room’s couch and he was on the floor praying to his phone. You peeked at him once in awhile and you could have sworn you saw the five stages of grief in all those times you looked at him. You click your tongue at him.

“What? What is it? Is there something wrong?” Seungyoun looked at you with a matter-of-fact expression. He held his hand out as if he were asking for you to point out all his flaws.

Which was exactly what you were going to do.

“You need to stop sending her multiple text messages. You’re scaring the poor girl.” You put down the book in your hands.

“Oh? What does your young adult fiction book say about text messaging?” He rolls his eyes.

You scoff at him. Maybe he needed someone to tell him that being desperate was not a personality trait. “Seungyoun, she’s not interested.”

He takes a deep breath and holds his chest, “You know? Your words hurt.”

You throw him a peace sign, “Only true friends.”

An alert sound comes from his phone and the both of you exchange looks.

Seungyoun opens the text message.

You wait for his reaction which came as a shriek.

“She said sure!” He shines the phone’s screen in front of your face.

“I can’t see. Its too bright.” You swat his phone out of your face and you cross your arms.

Seungyoun recites the reply from his future date, “Sure, Seungyoun. I’ll let you know.”

You rub your temples. So much for future date. “Hey, lets go to that new jazz bar in Itaewon.”

“Can’t I need my schedule as open as possible. I don’t know when she’ll get back to me.” Seungyoun gets up from the floor and shoos your leg off his couch. He sits down on the couch and you place your legs on his lap.

“Never, Seungyoun. She’s never going to get back to you. I’m sorry.” You pat him on the head.

Seungyoun groans and drops his phone. He covers his eyes with his arm.

Seungyoun always replied back to text messages in less than a minute. He wore his heart on his sleeve and did not play any of the push and pull dating games. 

If you two weren’t best friends, he would’ve been a perfect partner. The last thing you wanted was someone complicated.

Seungyoun was as simple as pie.

“So, Itaewon?”

Seungyoun nodded, “Lets invite Hangyul too.”

2.) He only does soju. He had a strict no vodka/whiskey/rum/tequila policy “just because”

What was suppose to happen was an innocent outing to a bar in Itaewon.

What actually happened was Hangyul decided that jazz was not his thing and opted for clubbing instead. Of course, dumb and dumber stick together so you become the third member, the idiot who followed.

The three of you stuck together for a good ten minutes until the crowds finally separated you and Hangyul from Seungyoun.

Hangyul yells your name to counter the loud bass of the music. You move closer to Hangyul in an attempt to hear him.

“Do you want to get a drink?” Hangyul points to the bar where less people crowded.

You nod and Hangyul grabs your wrist with a smile, “Follow me.” he mouths.

Finally out of the sea of people dancing, Hangyul buys you a drink. He considered it as an apology for changing plans so last minute.

You look around for the “dumber” member.

Hangyul moves closer to your ear, “Seungyoun went to the DJ to request a song.

You give Hangyul a side glare. He wasn’t suppose to invade your mind like that.

Hangyul chuckles and he receives a drink from the barista. He offers it to you.

The thing with alcohol was you always drank it with Seungyoun ever since the two of you entered college. This was probably the second time you weren’t drinking with him.

But, you take the drink anyway because you already made the mistake of following the two of them into a club. You sniff the drink. ‘Yup, smells like strong alcohol.’ you think.

Hangyul easily finishes his drink and you tilt your head to the side letting out a defeated laugh.

He has a small proud smirk and gives you a head nod to signal you to drink.

You give it one more sniff before letting the acidic liquid hit your throat.

Hangyul nods his head in approval and lightly pats you on the head. You were sure it meant, ‘Good job, you're able to drink something else other than soju.’

You playfully smack his shoulder and begin to take another sip when a hand appears from the bottom of the cup to pull it away from you. You quickly look in the direction of the hand and see Seungyoun, “Hey!” You yell.

Seungyoun looks at Hangyul’s direction and snaps back to you. He downs the rest of the drink as your mouth gapes open in surprise.

“That was mine!” You yell over the music.

3.) As far as he’s concerned, sleep is optional.

Hangyul scratches his ear looking at the scene unfold in front of him.

Seungyoun, on the other hand, is between being present in the moment and “I don’t know who that is. I came with the handsome guy."

“I just don’t need to deal with children.” You leaned on the metal pole like it was the only thing keeping you standing. “But, why is my best friend a big child?” You look down at your fingers seemingly counting a math equation.

“Look, it was just one drink. Could’ve ended with one drink. You just had to take it away from her.” Hangyul sighs deeply.

Seungyoun had nothing to retort. Hangyul was one hundred percent right. Maybe if he did not take that first drink, she would not have to prove a point and have five more glasses of alcohol.

Both guys look back at you and click  their tongues in unison.

It took exactly two hours to drop you off back home. That was with Hangyul tagging along and helping. Seungyoun was your pack mule because he decided that carrying you was faster. Hangyul was the designated person to apologize for the ruckus you were creating.

You did not remember mostly everything the next day and you were more than glad to forget the night, for the most part.

However, you did remember something about Seungyoun only drinking soju because he was a child or something like that.

Also, you ended up back at Seungyoun’s small studio because you had to escape a murder that was about to take place. Who knew being dropped off by two healthy boys in their twenties, completely wasted, and at two in the morning was such a criminal offense?

“You, get out of here.” Seungyoun answered the door with disheveled hair and last night’s eyeliner that you had forced him to wear.

You scoff at his poor attempt at being serious and slip through the door frame.

Seungyoun closes the door behind him and blows his bangs out of his face, “Do you know how much trust I lost from your mother?”

You take a seat on his couch and shrug, “Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure your her favorite child out of the both of us.”

He says your full name in a low-tone, “This is serious!”

“Cho Seungyoun.” You copy his tone. “When are we going clubbing again?” You change your tone into a cheerful one. Too cheerful to be serious.

“I am so great to see you completely rested.” Seungyoun answers back with his own sarcasm and a lopsided smile.

It was then you realized Seungyoun’s eyes are slightly red on the rim. You look around his small studio and papers are scrapped all over the place, “Did you not sleep?” You get up to get a closer look and observe his face.

Seungyoun stares back at you and you hear his light breathing.

He slowly shakes his head side to side, “What am I going to do with you?”

4.) He does, in fact, need sleep.

Beep. Beep.

You peek from your phone, ‘Oh, its his phone.’ You look back at your phone, continuing what you were doing. To be honest, the silence was killing you. Yes, thee Cho Seungyoun was giving you the silent treatment. He had his headphones on, writing his "dumb” rap lyrics. Usually, he would have filled the room with beats that he was working on. Today, you were exiled from his music as punishment.

A few minutes later, you hear multiple text message beeps from his phone.

Annoyed, you avert your attention to him. “Can you silence your phone? I get it, you’re not talking to me, but someone else.” You snap at him.

Seungyoun looks at you and silences his phone, “There.”

You sit up on his couch, “What? What is it? Is there something wrong?”

Oh, how the tides have turned.

Seungyoun leisurely sits on his chair as his fingers tap on the arm rests. He has his chin up, looking down at you.

“010.″ He starts.

You squint at him as he starts to say random numbers, “What the hell, Seungyoun?”

“Hangyul’s phone number.” Seungyoun positions his hands so that all of his fingers aligned as if he was planning something.

You hold up your hand in confusion, “Okay, so?”

“You don’t want it?” His sentences are short and concise.

“Why would I want Hangyul’s” your words get quieter and taper off into silence.

“Well?” Seungyoun raises an eyebrow at you.

You think for awhile, “I don’t want his number through you.”

Seungyoun presses his lips in a thin line, “Interesting.”

“Tell him to come get my number himself.” you add.

Seungyoun’s mouth slowly opens in awe.

The tides change once more and everything was back to how it was suppose to be.

You let out a hearty laugh as Seungyoun grabs the nearest pillow to cover your face with.

Something about the heat in his small studio with no air conditioner had the two of you sleepy after a good few minutes of fighting (read: pillow fighting).

It was merely a cause of the heat.

Since there was only one pillow, you had no choice, but to fall asleep on his arm while he selfishly took the one pillow.

The two of you wake up at different times, but both of you continue to fall asleep even after that fact.

That damn weather.

5.) He has a problem.

There was definitely nothing more than friendship. Teasing each other, getting into petty fights, the childish banter, and all that happened every time you were with him. It definitely was not a feeling of love.

When Seungyoun hung out with his friends, it was the same question over and over again.

Are you guys dating yet?

The answer was the same every time. It became a default.

“Bull. Shit.”

Seungwoo reaches over to smack Dongpyo on the side of his head, “Watch your language.”

“But, hyung. They stick to each other like their life depends on it.” Dongpyo says as he massages the side of his head.

“That’s because, if they don’t, they might actually start missing each other. That would cancel all the denial they have.” Wooseok answers.

Dongpyo looks up trying his hardest to understand the situation.

Seungwoo lightly touchs Dongpyo’s hand, “Don’t try to understand it. None of us get it either.”

“Listen. I know for a fact that I can put all your suspicions to rest.” Seungyoun leans in.

“Oh yeah? Let me hear it. I’m ready for a good laugh.” Yohan scoffs.

Seungyoun ignores Yohan’s remark, “I gave her Hangyul’s number.” Seungyoun claps, “Boom.”

Seungwoo knits his eyebrows together and Dongpyo curses again, but he lets it go because it was actually called for.

“That’s not evidence. It’s just plain stupidity on your part.” Wooseok put his palms to his forehead.

Yohan looks at Seungyoun with pity in his eyes, “It wasn’t even funny.”

Seungyoun looks clearly offend at all of their remarks, “Damn it, guys.”

“I’m going to explain this to you slowly because you’re one of my precious juniors.” Seungwoo says softly.

Seungyoun has a sour look on his face, but continues to listen.

“You gave her Hangyul’s phone number so they could get to know each other, eventually date because, lets face it, Hangyul is a great guy.” He leaves out the part where Hangyul was not completely oblivious to his own emotions, unlike someone.

“And then, after they date, they’ll become official. Because Hangyul is the perfect package.” Wooseok makes sure to say his last sentence a little louder for the people in the back.

“Meaning you can see bye-bye to sleeping next to your “best friend” or getting into one of your fake fights because you guys have weird kinks like that.” Yohan continues.

“Hyung, I can take most of your bullcrap, but introducing her to Hangyul-hyung is really not it.” Dongpyo says.

Seungyoun looks around the table and slowly nods. Disappointed, he looks down at his lap.

The four boys exchange looks.

Yohan pats him on the back, “Its okay. Lets just see what happens.”

“I guess the only thing you can do is just do better than him.” Wooseok suggests. “I mean, you can sing, dance, and produce. You’re a great guy too, Seungyoun.”

Seungyoun looks up in realization.

That was it.

“So if I want to keep our friendship, I need to get her away from any type of relationship with any guy.”

“Huh?” Dongpyo widens his eyes.

“Relationships will only end in heartbreak, so I just have to stop her from seeing anyone, ever.”

“No. No. No.” Seungwoo repeated multiple times.

His problem was Lee Hangyul.

+1.) He knows too much about you.

“Hey, can you help me with my zipper?”

But he was going to carry that to his grave.

Sequel

[astrogone]

                                             ANXIOUS MUNDAY MEME

@seekesotsibteadmist: What is something you want people to know right away about yourself?

PLEASE REMEMBER I AM EXTREMELY SLOW AT EVERYTHING!!!! I swear, there is a no apologizing for quick or late replies oocly and icly policy in this household because if you message me with an apology over that, you may get my response after a few days, if not a week, and I get so embarrassed like shdjsjd please, don’t be sorry at all. I get every reason behind any pace of the responses, so do not ever feel bad or anything replying to me too late or too quickly. Hell, you can take a whole damn MONTH to reply to me oocly or icly and I’ll still act like I would only be waiting for a day and be like “Ah! My friend! I love you”... But yeah, while I am easily distracted and exhausted to do this stuff, I usually have to reply back to ten to fifteen people oocly, and I will always have many people to reach out to when we haven’t interacted yet ( which if you haven’t interact to me yet, please, this is invitation that you can slap yourself in my IMs Now ), and my social energy / motivation to interact with people? It’s erratic as Hell. Also, I usually take way too much time replying to a post / message when it shouldn’t be the case. Like? For me to reply to a one paragraph in the thread will take me at least an hour to two. If you straight just say hi to me and ask how am I doing, it’ll take me at least five minutes to ten to just answer your very simple question.

I have an intellectual disability that gives me difficulties reading the given information, understanding them, and responding to them at a pace the average amount of people can do, but I can’t. The longest time you can get from me oocly is usually six days. Icly though? Boy, am I a lost cause with that. It can be anytime as I can reply to our thread for a month later, if not longer, I will have to let that be known, lmfao... But you’re more than welcome to give me a nudge for anything anytime. It may not get a quicker response from me anyway, knowing me, but just know that my silence towards you while I’m being noisy on dash or to others or such has nothing to do with you, ever. At least with oocly, I try to prioritize replying to people who I haven’t replied to the longest over those that I have done so recently, but I’m an absolute slow and low mess at everything, so! As that’s something I can never change, unfortunately, I can only wish that everyone interacting with me would be grateful for what we have already.

@sinisteraugurey: How much anxious internal screaming goes on with you on a regular basis?

It’s a 24/7 thing, man. I would just try to distract myself with whatever is in my way to block them, but, yeah, it just really be like that with me. Last night while I was trying to sleep, I kept staring at my window in concern because it had these shadows constantly moving behind the curtains, and there’s that small part of me that KNEW it’s just the tree branches that got caught in the lights of the streetlights, but, my mind kept telling me “they’re coming” and I was just constantly like,, “who tho,,, omg,,,,” but,, think about it,,,, I live in the sixth floor of a building, so how the Hell could the shadows reach up there?¿...

@vsentis & @arsonbeast​: What’s a tip you would give to people trying to get to know you?

Ask me questions from something simple like what’s my favourite colour to something over the top like how often do I get existential crisis lmfao even if it’s completely out of the blue or we don't know each other well yet, I wouldn’t ever mind answering them at all. As well if / whenever you are comfortable, talk about yourself as it will usually prompt me to do the same in return. I often don’t throw facts about myself to others because I think it would have others feel like they would be suddenly placed in a position of having to bring up information about themselves to me and I know not many people are comfortable to talk about themselves and / or their lives when they’re on this Hellsite to write and develop, which is totally understandable and I’m more than okay to be interacted with for just writing / plotting.

On a different note, I am planning to create a Carrd about my interests ( like what shows, music artists, etcetera I’m familiar with ) and slap it on my pinned post so it can give others a chance to get to know me more and bring them up to me to break down any tension from their end, so you can randomly pop into my DMs like “biTCH yOU WATCH B.UZZEED U.NSOLVED!?¡¿” and I’d be like “FUCK YE A H, I DO” and create chaos from there sndnsmd

@vsentis​: Is communication important to you?

Beyond important. I personally think communication is THE most important aspect in not just roleplaying, but in general. It’s what builds a strong relationship with the parties. The more they will interact with each other with a lot of patience and understanding, the higher chance that trust and comfort can be built stronger and tighter within a connection. Now, what do I have to say with me? I love talking to people, even when I’m a slow motherfucker at it and I get extremely frustrated and sad at the fact. I love when people talk to me and I can read about their days, personal projects, characters, so forth. I want people to feel that they can trust me and be comfortable coming to me for anything from a random chat to ranting / venting. Man, just straight up slap my DMs with a random photo of a forest and I’ll just not shut up about the time I nearly got lost in the forest.

Now, it does take time for me to reach out to people first, at least usually not because of IC related like plotting calls. For me to come to you randomly and talk about anything not roleplaying related? Again, I can’t be sure if people are comfortable with talking about themselves and their lives, but the more they come to me first for random ooc conversations, the more comfortable I will be to reach out to them first for so frequently. Another thing I do want to mention that if I do or say anything wrong or it’s making you uncomfortable, please? Reach out to me? I mean, I get that people aren’t obliged to teach others and whatnot, so do what you gotta do it the block and follow buttons to avoid wasting more energy and time, but it would truly help a lot with me and anyone else who I am / will interact with in the future. Just be honest with me and share your thoughts to me— I will listen and take them in mind. I absolutely hate to make people uncomfortable without knowing and I would be extremely appreciative if I was told why so I can be more considerate in the future.

@goldenornstein: Do random asks out of the blue upset you at all?

Not at all! In fact, I encourage sending me random asks! It might take a bit for me to reply like anything else, but I LOVE random asks! Makes me go “!!!” whenever I see a number on that mail symbol thingy. So, send me random memes, random thoughts, straight up just slap the word, P.ikachu, in the ask and send it to me and I’ll be like, “me fucking too, pal” jsjdkdk

@seekesotsibteadmist: What are some things you worry about in terms of new people?

I know I apologize for rambling or taking a long time to reply, but in the end, people being impatient or easily annoyed by me or whatever are my least worries. What I should be more concerned about but am somehow not is if this person actually holds good intentions with a good mindset. Even though I had my generosity taken advantage of way too many times by way too many people who I thought were really good friends in real life and online, I still? Somehow don’t ever think about the possibility that this person is actually very shitty when I interact with them as much as I should, considering how absolutely chaotic this site is. Being cautious is highly draining for me personally as I literally just want to vibe, so…

Just know that I take anyone in who my mutuals haven’t mentioned on their rules page ( yet if I do happen to interact with your abusers or people you’re not uncomfortable with because they’re doing / saying predatory / harmful things? Lemme know and I’ll instantly get out of their hair— you don't even need to give me an explanation, just don’t hesitate to say their URL and I’ll do my shit ), but I will instantly kick them off of my household the moment I see or learn anything from them that is predatory or harmful to people. If you do / say something that I don’t like, like misgender my muses or keep godmodding my muses or whatever, I’ll let you know how I feel, but if you’re gonna be stalking people, being disrespectful / abusive to anyone based on their genders, sexualities, ethnicities, disabilities, etcetera, write / make headcanons based those disgusting things we all know what, and so forth? I will hardblock and never look back, and that’s that.

[numba99]

The Intern - Part 2

Part 1

Summary: Summary: You are an intern at MSG, strictly forbidden to become involved in with any of the Rangers players. However, this becomes difficult when you catch the eye of a certain player. Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: none for this part except the usual I did not proof read and there are deff typos don’t Judge me

Over the course of the next few weeks everything was going great. Sure you were tired and running all over the place, but it was kind of fun. Plus, you felt like you were learning a lot and you never got tired of basically getting to watch rangers games as part of your school work.

You were also getting to know a lot of the players, who were nicer than you thought. From the media interviews they always seemed like decent guys, but you were nervous of how they’d be towards you. You would have honestly understood if they didn’t even acknowledge you given how much they have going on, but most of them chatted with you by this point.

The only player you didn’t really talk to was Lias. In fact, you were sorta avoiding him. Maybe that was dramatic, but you really didn’t know what to make of that little exchange from your first day. You were super weary of anything that could be construed as flirting or inappropriate for the work scare so you figured it was better to just avoid him. He hasn’t tried anything since either, not that you really gave him a chance to. You always stuck close to Beth’s side when he was around.

“Hey y/n, you have a minute?” Mika asked you.

“Of course what's up?” you asked, tucking the pen you had been using to jot down notes from the interviews behind your ear.

“A couple of us are going out later I was wondering if you'd wanna come?” he asked.

“Oh I um... am I gonna get in trouble?” you asked. You felt a little silly, like a teenager if they could go out past curfew.

Mika chuckled, “I’ve heard about Beth’s rules from other interns, but don’t worry there’s gonna be a bunch of us. Lots of guys are bringing their girlfriends and stuff too. I just thought you might wanna come.”

“That’s really sweet, Mika, thank you,” you replied, trying to hide how excited your really were. It felt nice to be asked to come along, it made you feel like they really liked you. “I’d love to out with you guys.”

“Great, and feel free to bring a friend or something if you want,” Mika told you. You exchanged numbers to Mika could give you details and you silently prayed Jess was off tonight.

No such luck.

“Why is it the one night you do something cool I'm working?” Jess huffed. She was already in her scrubs, ready to head out for the night.

“Um I do cool things on many nights,” you scoffed, feigning offense.

“Yeah but you’ve never done any cool things that could lead me to getting hot hockey boyfriend,” she pointed out.

“That’s fair,” you replied, “Maybe I just shouldn’t go.”

“What? No way y/n you’re going,” Jess insisted, “Maybe Lias will be there and you can finally talk to him.”

“I don't want to talk to him,” you replied. You hadn’t even thought about Lias being there, even though him and Mika were so close. 

Jess rolled her eye, “You and I both know that’s not true. Listen, I know you have your rules or whatever but talking to him isn’t breaking them. You’re not going on a date, it’s a group thing. Just go have fun and don’t be weirdo about it.”

“I wish you could go,” you sighed. Jess was so much better with people than you were. Wirth her there you would definitely feel a lot more confident.

“God same, but duty calls,” she groaned, heading towards the door. “Like I said just have fun and don’t be weird. You need to get invited out again so I can find a man too.”

You laughed and nodded, “Everything I do I do for you.”

“And that’s why I love you! Have fun out there tonight.” You let out a heavy sigh, sinking into the couch after the door clicked shut. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea... if you didn't go Jess would never know, you could just tell her you did...

You shook your head. You didn’t wanna back out just over Lias that was silly. Jess was right, you just needed to have some fun. Besides, it would be rude to cancel on Mika so last minute. So, you pulled yourself off the couch and got yourself together. 

The bar everyone was meeting at wasn’t too far from your place, just a couple subway stops away. It wasn’t a bar you and Jess ever would have gone to, despite it’s close proximity. It looked way too swanky for either of your budgets, but you were sure you could manage one drink for tonight.

“Hey! Y/n, glad you could make it,” Mika greeted you when you walked in. You smiled brightly, waving at him and Chris, who were huddled around a little table. Mika introduced you to his girlfriend and you noted that Chris was there alone. Jess would be thrilled.

A couple other players were there as well: Alex, Pavel, Brett, and a few other girls that you guessed were girlfriends but didn’t catch who was with who. Everyone was nice, though, so it didn’t really matter. You enjoyed chatting with everyone in a non-work setting. It was a little surreal honestly; just last year you were watching all these people on your TV and now you were out with them like it was a totally normal thing.

“I'm gonna grab a drink,” you excused yourself from the group, realizing you’d been there for awhile and never got anything. You drummed your fingers on the bar, waiting for your overpriced vodka soda. You mustered up a kind thank you to the bar tender - you knew it wasn’t his fault the prices were stupid.

“Shit,” you gasped, nearly bumping into the person behind you. Somehow you managed not to spill your drink and good thing, a few drops would be like losing a few dollars. You looked up to see who almost caused that disaster and found Lias smiling down at you. 

“Hey,” he said cooly.

“Hey,” you replied stiffly. 

“Didn’t know you were coming out tonight.”

“Yeah Mika invited me, it was sorta last minute I guess,” you told him. Something about him made you nervous. And not in like you were afraid of him kinda way, nothing like that all. He just sorta... made your stomach flip and got your tongue all tied up.

Lias nodded and a silence fell over the two of you. You were desperately wracking your brain for something to say, but every passing moment just made all of your ideas seem stupider. You were about to lie and say you had to go to the bathroom to get yourself away when Lias finally spoke up.

“I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,” Lias said, “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“It’s fine,” you told him, “It really wasn't a big deal or anything I knew you were kidding.”

“I wasn’t kidding though,” Lias admitted, “But I probably shouldn’t have led off that way anyway.”

“No it was nice, I appreciate that,” you replied, “It’s just, well I’ve got some strict rules to follow.”

“What do you mean?” Lias cocked a brow.

“Well Beth, my supervisor, has a pretty strong policy against her interns - err - fraternizing with the players,” you explained, “Like if she found out there was something going on between me and someone I could lose my place here and I need the internship to graduate so that would be really bad.”

“Oh wow, I didn't know that. I’m sorry I never meant to put you in a bad position,” Lias replied, sounding sincerely sorry.

“It’s all good, you didn't mean anything bad by it,” you assured him.

“Right,” he nodded, “I never heard anything like that, I mean Tony always goes after the interns. I heard hes gotten with a few.”

“Well that’s because Tony’s gross,” you heard yourself say. “Shit I didn't mean to-”

To your relief Lias laughed and nodded, “No you're right he is kind of a jerk isn’t he?” Thank god. The last thing you needed was someone spreading around you were talking shit about one of the players.

“Glad we can agree on that,” you laughed, playfully clinking his glass.

“So can we just pretend I never said anything and just be friends?” Lias asked.

“Well I don’t know if I totally wanna forget what you said,” you teased him. Lias blushed, playfully rolling his eyes at you. “But I would love to be friends.”

The rest of the evening you spent quite a bit of time with Lias. A lot of the people there had coupled off with their significant others and you didn’t wanna 3rd wheel anyone, especially since you didn’t really know any of them too well yet. It wasn’t awkward, though, you really enjoyed talking to Lias and you had a surprising amount of things in common.

“It’s not that funny,” Lias said, though he was laughing.

“My whole life I wondered what they called Swedish Fish in Sweden and you tell me its pas- paste- fuck I can’t pronounce it,” you were giggling, your drink clearly having an impact on you.

“Pastellfiskar,” Lias said. It sounded so pretty when he said it.

“Right that,” you nodded, “I have to thank you, Lias, you’ve solved one of life’s mysteries for me in just one night.”

“My pleasure,” he grinned. God he was attractive, you thought. You silently scolded yourself, you couldn't let yourself think like that. Maybe it was time to get out of here, before the alcohol got you acting too foolish.

“As lovely as this discovery has been, I should probably be on my way,” you replied. You checked the time on your phone and you were surprised by just how late it had gotten.

“Let me walk you home,” Lias said.

You shook your head, “I’ll be okay alone. I don’t want you to go out of your way. Besides, I’m kinda a long walk from here.”

“Uber then? I don’t mean to impose I just wanna make sure you get home okay. There can are some creeps out there,” Lias replied.

“Like Tony?” you teased.

Lias cracked a smiled, “Yes. Would hate for you to run into a Tony out there alone.” He did have a point, you did get nervous going home alone, especially this late at night.

“You're right,” you replied, “An Uber sounds good to me.” Lias ordered you guys a ride, which arrived quickly. Lias opened the door for you, sliding into the dimly lit car behind you.

“Beautiful couple,” the driver commented.

“Oh no, we’re not...” you trailed off awkwardly.

“She’s my sister,” Lias said, winking at you. You giggled to yourself, loving how Lias could make a weird moment light and funny. Even though you looked nothing alike the driver bought it, issuing an apology along with a laugh.

The rest of the ride was quiet, but not really awkward. It was nice to just be able sit with him and it not be weird. However, you did keep your eyes forward most of the way because there was something about the way the street lights were hitting his face that was making him look even more enticing.

“This is me,” you said softly when the Uber came to a stop. The air in the car suddenly felt thick and charged. You became hyper aware that your heart was thudding in your ears. You shouldn’t be nervous... why are you so nervous?

“Goodnight... buddy,” Lias said with a sly smile.

“Goodnight... pal,” you replied, hoping your voice didn’t sound too strained. You quickly got out, shutting the door and separating the two of you. You felt a lot better now that you were in fresh air.

It was just the car ride, you told yourself as the elevator ticked its way up to your floor, you just got a little car sick that’s why you felt weird. It was a lie to yourself that you needed to believe because the alternative - that you wanted to be more than just friends with Lias - was just not something you could entertain. You pushed that thought down as deep as you possibly could, slipping into a restless sleep.

[kuningannasansa]

A musketeers rewatch (that nobody asked for) 1x07

Here we go, my least favorite episode of the whole show excluding season three which I didn’t watch! If you have even a passing fondness for Ninon, I suggest you look away :)

We start with a royal procession through the crowd and there are quite a lot of waving people there. If they can fill the streets with extras for scenes like that, why can those same extras not be used for the court scenes?

Priest whose name I have forgotten is being robbed. The musketeers rush in to help. 

Meanwhile, a crazy girl tries to get close to the queen and ends up being ran over by her carriage. If this is meant to be some Emily Davison analogy, it sucks!

The dead lunatic’s name is Therese and she wanted to give the Queen a note. Constance takes it and says “Fleur, what does this mean?” Am I supposed to take from that that she cannot read for herself? Cause a merchant’s wife definitely, definitely would know how to do that. 

Fleur is nowhere to be seen, however.

“This is an age of glorious discovery!” says Ninon. “Galileo observes the moons of Jupiter... But what is the role of women in this age of wonder?” - well, gee, i don’t know Ninon. Maybe you could have mentioned some female scientists of the era in addition to Galileo? Catherine de Parthenay, anyone? Or Marie Fouquet? Hell, Ninon de l'Enclos, my atheist queen, for whom this Ninon is doubtless named, was a notable woman in her own right! But no, we have to make women look more oppressed than they actually were to make this waste of space look more awesome. 

“My women of Paris, seek your own enlightenment!” - wrong era!

Therese, an orphan from a humble background, wanted to hand a petition to the queen about women’s education.  

“If she was an illiterate orphan she could not have written this. It is misguided but not unintelligent.” - says Richelieu. And indeed he turns out to be right. She didn’t write it. Which is fucking bizarre. 

Anne asks him if he doesn’t favor women’s education and he replies: “I admire learning wherever it is to be found, but this amounts to an attack on the authority of church and state.” Any French history buff know what the actual Richelieu’s thought of women’s education? @tatzelwyrm​? I’m gonna start a biography on him soon, but not until I’m done with this rewatch.

Ninon barges in past the guards and yells “stay out of my way, I will address the King!”. I’m sure this is meant to make her look badass, but she just comes across like a complete idiot who doesn’t understand that she would do better to follow court protocol, no matter how much she might dislike it, if she wants to achieve her goals.    

Luckily for her she’s pretty, so the king doesn’t mind.

“I want to know why this tragedy happened. If your guards are to blame I want them punished.” And then she gives Treville a dirty look! How dare you, you waste of skin and oxygen! Don’t you dare blame Treville for this mess! 

“You knew this lunatic?” - lmao, Richelieu!

Therese was the daughter of Ninon’s servant whom Ninon decided to educate. So she was educated, she COULD have written the petition herself. But she did not. Because when Richelieu says “she wrote this and was killed trying to give it to the Queen” Ninon screeches: “Don’t be ridiculous! She didn’t write it, I did!” And I mean, who exactly is looking down on servant girls here and saying it’s ridiculous to expect them to write something intelligent. It’s not Richelieu. 

But more importantly, WHY?? If Ninon wrote it, why couldn’t she hand it to the Queen? Why did this poor girl have to die? This is so, so stupid! I mean, okay, maybe Therese heard Ninon speak well of the queen and got the idea to hand her the petition on her own, without being told by Ninon to do so. But why did she have it in the first place, if it’s Ninon’s petition?

“Apparently the Comtesse de Laroque believes herself above the normal laws and conventions of society.” ´- well that’s an understatement.  

“The treasury is bankrupt and the country needs a new navy. Ninon has the wealth to provide it.” And that is why Richelieu sends Milady into the salon to find something to use against her. These two are so good in this, I love their scenes together! Pity about the rest of the episode. 

Richelieu is now freaking out about lesbians and Milady is just like “really, dude? really?”. I love her!

“Ninon must pay up or face destruction, I want every last penny from her!” - so it was not his intention to kill her, just to get the money. Interesting.

Fleur’s father is Bonacieux’s cousin. I love that, the commoners having family connections and support circles of their own.

The robbed priest is called Luca! Richelieu is “delighted to see him”, apparently, cause they’re old friends. And Louis isn’t, because he wrote a pamphlet arguing that Kings should bow down to the Pope’s authority. 

“We can’t have a comtesse abducting young women and spiriting them away to her boudoir!” - Oh, Richelieu! Do calm down.

It’s odd watching Richelieu try to use homosexuality to take Ninon down while shipping Trevilieu thou. 

Athos barges into Ninon’s salon, demanding to know where Fleur is and Milady very discreetly hides behind a pillar. Lol! 

And Ninon starts hitting on Athos immediately. She tells him that she’s often thought he’s handsome but the “melancholy aspect” to his looks is “probably only mental vacancy”. Who taught you how to flirt? Why must you be so abrasive and confrontational all the time? Like really, I get she’s meant to be a Strong Woman Who Don’t Take No Shit TM, but she just comes across like a loudmouth. 

Athos likes it thou!

“Forgive our intrusion-” “I will not forgive it!” - Jesus Ninon, it’s just a figure of speech, a polite gesture. People use these in conversation sometimes. She’s so unnecessarily rude smh.

Aramis says he “gladly acknowledges the superiority of the female sex” and I throw up in my mouth a little. That’s not feminism, that’s slimy!

D’artagnan: “If that wasn’t flirting, I don’t know what is.”  Porthos: “Rubbish! She can’t stand him.”  Aramis: “One day I’ll sit down and explain women to you.” - cause we’re all the same and no means yes, right writers?

Luca: “His holiness is concerned about the direction of French foreign policy.” Richelieu: “Well the pope is Spain’s performing monkey.” - he really is so funny! I know I keep saying that, but he is!

Also, YAY politics! Intelligent dialogue! I love this scene so much!

“In matters of religion I defer to Rome, in all else I am my country’s servant” - lol, Richelieu inventing the separation of church and state

Luca: “Is this your final word on the subject?” Richelieu: “It is.” - and that right there is where Luca decides to kill him. The actor plays it really well, knowing it’s coming I can see the briefest moment of regret in his eyes, but without hindsight I wouldn’t notice anything. And he gives Richelieu the poisoned gift. 

Also, isn't it the same guy who plays Margaret’s new man in Harlots? 

Athos says that Therese and Fleur were so far below Ninon in status that they were not in a position to make choices of their own free will. Which is fuckign stupid. But Ninon saying that she views all women as equal regardless of their birth is equally moronic. I mean, sure, they should be, but in reality they’re not and ignoring that doesn’t help anyone. And Athos does point out that Ninon’s money and position gives her certain privileges, but it sits wrong coming from him and not from Porthos or Milady or Constance, who are from poor/less wealthy backgrounds. That said, this is still one of the few semi intelligent scenes in this whole episode, so whatever. At least someone said it. 

Now she kisses him and invites him to dine! And he just looks sad.

Luca tells Richelieu to “deal with” Ninon “firmly”, cause the Pope is dying and Richelieu could be the next Pope if he shows himself a strong defender of the church against “heresy”. What heresy thou? Women learning to read? Lol, that’s so cartoonishly evil and ahistorical, but whatever. This at least explains where Richelieu’s desire to have her burned came from.

Richelieu: “I wouldn’t go so far as to call her a heretic.” Luca: “A woman who openly defies God's laws, what other word is there?” - what laws thou? what has she done, other than hold some salon meetings, as every other noblewoman was doing at the time?

Richelieu promises to consider his options and Luca tells him to pray to the poisoned bone for guidance, lol.

This right here is Richelieu letting personal feelings cloud his judgement, thou! Which he said he has learned no to do. But he allows himself to be carried away with visions of becoming Pope and honestly I don’t see how he can possibly believe that could happen with his foreign policy and how hated he is by the Vatican, as stated in this very scene.  

Milady and Ninon! I love that scene! Ninon clearly thinks she’s super special because she “takes the initiative” by kissing men instead of waiting to be kissed. She’s so damn smug about it! And Milady is just like “oh I could never be so bold” and I swear I can hear her laughing internally! 

And she very cleverly charms Fleur’s location out of Ninon!

Athos’s idea of a first date is the morgue. Charming.

Athos saying that Ninon is responsible for what happened to Therese because she gave a lowborn girl an education doesn’t sit well with me. Classist ass! But she is responsible for not thinking of Therese beyond how daring and adventurous and fun and positively scandalous it would be to educate a servant girl and then not bothering to care for her when she got bored. Cause if she had done, Therese could have come to her with her plan and she could have prevented her death. Because yes, regardless of her education, her background predisposed Therese to be naive about the King and Queen and how petitions work. Where was Ninon in all this, when a girl under her charge decided to do this foolish thing that cost her her life? Because if you want to be someone’s teacher you do have a duty of care. In short, Ninon is a classist ass as well! They’re perfect for each other!

So Luca’s stolen bag is in the morgue with the body of the thief who stole it. And Athos promises to send for it in the morning. I know it’s CSI: Musketeers and all, but why was it not delivered to Luca the moment it was found, lol? He’s a pretty important guest at the palace and it’s his property. 

Athos agrees with Ninon that marriage is a curse. LOL!

Ninon’s reason for not marrying is that she does not want a husband to own her wealth and body. Makes sense and that’s why many independently wealthy women chose to stay unmarried. Just pointing out the few things that make sense.

“You are a rebellious woman” - oh good, we managed to squeeze the title of the episode into the dialogue! 

Aramis just tossed a red guard out of Ninon’s house. Can’t tell if he’s dead or not, but certainly unconscious. 

There’s fighting. The red guards have swords, the musketeers have books. Athos screams “where is your authority for this!?!” - well, the Cardinal, I’d assume, since they are his guards. Oh bear of very little brain!

Fleur and some other runaway girls are found sleeping in a secret chamber and Ninon is arrested for abducting them.

Athos is all like “you said she wasn’t here” and Ninon tries to explain that Fleur did not want to be found and begs “make them stop” to which Athos replies “sorry, I can’t”, his voice and face making it very clear that he doesn’t want to. Because a woman lied to him! This is the worst crime! Really Ninon is lucky she’s being arrested right now, otherwise she’d end up swinging from a tree.

“Four young women! In their nightwear! I can only speculate as to the horrors they have endured!” - Richelieu really has a bee in his bonnet about lesbians. The days before p*rnhub must have been hard for a catholic cardinal. 

Luca is even worse thou! “Your majesty is joking but Satan is real! And his female familiars are everywhere amongst us.” Jesus christ guys, calm down! Have a wank or something!

“She had the girls, she lied, she brought her fate on herself.” - Oh shut up Athos! Not everything is about you and your relationship issues! As Aramis points out. Thank you, Aramis! And I never believed I’d ever say that.

Ninon/Aramis  > > > > > > > > > > Ninon/Athos

Aramis gives Ninon the cross Anne gave him. This is quite sweet!

“It’s not so easy when you don’t have money” Constance says and she is right. But it’s like the show is saying that the only way women can be independant is if they are independently wealthy like Ninon. But that’s not really true, Fleur could get a job such as a seamstress or pharmacist or grain merchant or actress or even as a secretary now that she knows latin and greek thanks to Ninon. Women did have jobs in 17th century France and even belonged to guilds etc. Not saying that Fleur would not be more financially secure still with a husband, but if she really doesn’t want that she has options and I don’t like how this supposed “feminist” episode constantly erases women’s actual history. 

Fleur’s father rages “what does she need an education for? She’ll be a seamstress until she’s married and then she’ll be a dutiful wife and mother.” But if he is Bonacieux’s cousin then they are in the same social class, that is to say, the merchant class. And merchant women had to keep their husbands’ shops when their husbands were away. They needed to know how to read and write and do sums. They needed this to be an attractive marriage prospect to a husband of their own social class! 

And the father wants to hit Fleur and D’artagnan all heroically threatens him. How boring!

Richelieu: “Many of our young women are educated. It’s not something we’re ashamed of.” Fleur: “Not just embroidery and sewing.”  Me: “WELL OF COURSE NOT!!!”

Then Fleur says Ninon taught them the “secrets of our bodies” and Richelieu is a hound on the scent!

“Be quiet or you’ll be gagged!” - Again Armand, this is neither the time nor the place to indulge your kinks. 

ENTER MILADY! 

She does such a brilliant job of her testimony! This is again her lying about rape and I talked about before why that is bad, but in this case I don’t mind cause it’s for state reasons and doesn’t in any way invalidate her own story the way the thing with D’artagnan does.

Athos completely LOSES HIS SHIT!! Not doing the defence any good there, buddy!

The look she gives him as she walks out is priceless!

Queen Anne to the rescue, bringing clemency from Louis! Clever girl, must have manipulated it out of him! Season 1 Anne was intelligent.

And Ninon ruins it by saying: “I have never consorted with the devil until this moment. I am looking at him.” To which Richelieu replies: “Condemned from her own mouth.” As any person with half a brain would. Jesus christ Ninon, you should have been gagged! For your own safety! 

And then Richelieu stops breathing! And we get Treville’s reaction to it, thank you camera people! Thou Treville mostly just looks confused, like “what is that drama queen doing now?” 

Now he’s twitching! And I’m sorry but it looks hilarious.

Aramis carries him to bed on his back and puts a hand over his mouth. I’m not sure that helps with the breathing issues... 

Louis pushes Aramis out of the way and cries “please don’t die! please don’t die!” aawwwwwwwwwww!

Aramis really saves his life here, huh.

Anne is briefly jealous about the cross and asks Aramis if Ninon is his lover. Lol! She never expected him to stalk her for the rest of her life, she fully expected him to keep lovers.  

Luca: “Satan turned his blood to acid at her command!” Porthos: “We’ll add Satan to the list of suspects.”

Fleur: “You think I poisoned him?” Constance: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard even by musketeer standards.” - THANK YOU CONSTANCE!

Fleur is to be married to a 40 year old butcher. Poor girl!

“Was it you?” - LOL!

“Half the doctors say you’re doomed, the other half claim you’ll make a full recovery. There’s a lot of professional pride at stake.” - Milady is very funny too! But I’ve always known that! 

“Whatever happens to me, I want you to extract this confession from Ninon.” - translation: it doesn’t matter if I die, the main thing is that France gets that navy. For France, always. I’m amazed by how much he trusts Milady here thou.

Milady thinks the kneebone of St. Anthony is gross and “as much use as the doctors”. Bless her!

Constance very sweetly talks Fleur’s father out of forcing her to marry. Go Constance!

Ninon: “There is nothing worse than a woman who betrays her own sex” Milady: “I can think of a few things, but let’s not argue.” - THIS!! This is my favorite part of this whole miserable episode, because yes, with her background she can think of things Ninon couldn’t possibly imagine. It’s also a fuck you to that “don’t encourage girl on girl hate” line terfs and white feminists always hide behind when they get called out on their bullshit, though this wasn’t the point here. I love how she doesn’t even explain, too. Let’s not argue, cause what’s the point. You’ll never get it.

I do want to stress that Ninon is not wrong for educating other women and she has been unjustly condemned (althou I would argue that she might not have drawn Richelieu’s ire if she went about it in a more subtle, less smug way, for the safety of the girls she teaches if not for her own). But Milady is employed by the First Minister of France and is doing her job here, a job which she depends upon for her own independence and safety. As she says, Ninon didn’t do anything to her, she’s just a victim of circumstance. 

“If you don’t confess, the women of your salon will burn in your place. Surely you wish to save the lives of your accomplices in Satan?” - Milady does a good job of selling it, but if you think about it, that makes no sense. These women have already been publicly proclaimed Ninon’s victims. And if they have legal trouble with burning her alone, how would they manage a whole bunch of them, most of whom are also high ranking noblewomen?

Ninon falls for it thou. Fail!

Richelieu orders Ninon burned and Milady says that the Queen and King won’t like it. Richelieu replies that: “she’s irrelevant and a new navy will soothe his dismay.” He’s really underestimating season 1 Anne here. But season 2 will prove him right, sadly.

“The kingdom of heaven is a dream. Our only life is here.” - Go Milady!

Richelieu says he won’t burn her for heresy but to be careful cause “one day someone else might” and idk, but it comes across like pretty friendly advice, considering what he’s currently doing with Ninon. 

Now he worries he might go to hell! And Milady says he’s already there, lmaoo! I LOVE THIS SCENE!!

They go to the morgue to retrieve Luca’s bag and discover that the thief was poisoned in the same manner as the Cardinal. Thus the plot is uncovered.

“Open his mouth!” “You open his mouth!”

Luca kills a red guard and is about to kill Richelieu (who fights him with a fork!) when the musketeers burst in. And Richelieu curses them for being late!

Richelieu had apparently worked out that it was Luca who was trying to kill him at some point during the night. No idea how. 

Athos begs for Ninon’s life while the pire is already burning. And Richelieu agrees cause burning her is all very “dark ages”, like he said to begin with. He says he’s not a cruel man, just a practical one. But practicality sometimes requires cruelty. He’s not a sadist thou, that’s what he meant and that’s true. 

Athos drags Ninon off the burning pire. So the great feminist character got duped by Milady and then had to be rescued by her love interest. So good, much feminist. 

“As far as the world is concerned, Comtesse Ninon de Laroque died on that pire today.” Richelieu takes her lands, her property and her money and sends her into exile. Then he threatens to execute her if she ever tells anyone the truth of what happened.

“My voice will never be silenced, but I promise you will never hear it.” - the stupidest line of the whole episode and that’s saying something. Seriously, what does this mean? Your voice was silenced! Richelieu got your wealth which you could have used to educate more women. You were completely defeated. Like really, who is the idiot who wrote this? And what made them think this is in any way empowering or even just a satisfactory conclusion to Ninon’s acr?? Ughhhh!!

I do love Richelieu and Milady getting a rare victory thou! 

“Nothing, no person, no nation, no god will stand in my way.” - HOT!

Aramis gets his cross back lol. Otherwise it would have burned. 

Lmao, Richelieu sends Luca’s ashes to rome with a threat to the Pope.

And Capaldi pronounces “Richelieu” in a very strange way. 

Milady: “You do realise you’ll never be Pope?” Richelieu: “It’s an Italian club and largely a clerical position. I prefer something with a little more influence.” - L! O! L!

Ninon plans to open a school for poor girls and be a teacher. Well, idk, I hope she does a better job of it than she did with Therese.

Athos asks Ninon if “Madame de la Chapelle” ever told her anything about herself. And Ninon is like “so you did know her after all?” and he says “in another life” and she warns him to be careful because she has the cardinal’s protection so “a blow against her is a blow against him” and idk, does she realize that Milady was Athos’s wife here? Is that how I’m supposed to read it? He did tell her before that he used to be married.

Then she kisses him and tells him she could have loved a man like him. And she’s just way more into him than he is into her.

Lmaooo, Fleur is not forced to marry and can continue with her education and she’s “sure” that the woman who convinced her father was Ninon. And Constance doesn’t correct her and doesn’t even want the credit, but I’m mad lol, as if Ninon even remembers you exist Fleur!

D’artagnan gives Constance the credit, at least! And then comes his declaration of love, which is actually very sweet and I really liked them together in season 1! Constance is so beautiful in this scene too! It’s very well lit and she’s wearing that lovely dress!

Aaaaand we fade to black on some PG13 kissing and groping! Sorry, this was very long, but there was a lot to complain about.

In conclusion, awful! Like, the thing that bothers me the most is that this token girl power episode would not even have been radical in 1970, never mind today. The message is simply that women should have an education, which no sane person today would disagree with. It’s very safe and bland. And erases women’s real history in the process. It’s almost as if these male writers are congratulating themselves “weren’t things ever so bad Back Then, we are so much more progressive now”, instead of doing the truly radical thing and showing women’s real history, showing women in positions of power running their literary salons and not getting burned for it, showing women as independent businesswomen with an education! Why not give Bonacieux a female rival in the cloth business? Why not go deeper than “women are human beings” and give the episode a truly radical message that still resonates today. After all, we might be ever so educated now but it’s not like women have achieved equality. More on that in this old post: https://kuningannasansa.tumblr.com/post/126434697304/the-problem-of-ninon 

Anyway, I really hope the next episode will be better! 

Red Guards killed: 1 or 2, impossible to really tell

Ladies killed: Therese

Best Dressed: Ninon. She did have some pretty dresses. 

[the-house-of-the-nine]

In Depths Below, Masquerade, Part 6

[Part 6, Just a warning that we’re getting to the violence, blood and reveals here.  If you’re enjoying this, please like and share to your friends! Help us to reach new faces! We’ve been so blessed to have help from this fantastic community here, every single one of you have helped us in so many ways!  And feel free to send anonymous ASKS if you are curious about writing with us!  We absolutely welcome new faces!   Without further delay....]

Over the next few minutes...

Staff and guest alike would be escorted out of the ballroom and down the carriage pathway that led to the waterfront.  Down where Whistletorque had set up a marvelous fireworks display; that to be perfectly honest was a fairly expensive bit of explosives.  Sunwood had paid to have them all here but Westley had made perfectly sure that everything he purchased was top of the line, and as expensive as possible.

“Now. . .I believe we can begin.” Honeywell said as he peered around the room looking over what; and who was left.

The remaining group consisted of Magisters Brightsong, Sunvale, Dewdrop, Goldencrest, Honeywell, Sunwood and finally Magister Dawnseeker himself.  Each one of them representing a different branch of their group; the network that was organized to seize control.

“Of course.” Magister Sunwood replied.  He had been ever strong in his resolve to aid The Nine as they orchestrated the attack, but there was still more to do.

“Master.” came the voice of the Honeywell again when he looked over to Dawnseeker; the lead of this little organization.

“Where is Sinefel. . .” the horrid tone of the arrogant Magister hissed, not even acknowledging the others voice.

“Magister Sinefel sends his regards Master, but he was unfortunately detained in the Searing Gorge.”  Sunwood replied as quickly as he could.  Zalra remained on his arm, though it was clear so many of the other magisters also still had their significant others present.

“. . . and Sunfire.  Evesblood . . .Lightheart. . .” Dawnseeker slowly lofted a gloved hand as he pushed a few stray amber hairs from his vision.

“Had it not occurred to any of you that perhaps something has gone wrong with our investment?”

“Master. While there are some of us not present, the majority of us have had not a single problem remaining true to our original plan.” Honeywell said as he tried to steer the attention away from the missing members of their group.

“Of course, yes. . .of course Aloysius. Though I do find it disturbing that two of my most prominent and influential supporters could not find time in their busy schedule to attend this years festivities.”  Dawnseeker said eying the group carefully.

“We know that m’lord.  But we have heard from all of those who are not in attendance.  We can assure you that the investment still stands; and all is continuing without any failure.”  from the silence that was surrounding them and the judgemental eye that scanned, Sunwood would speak up.

“Yes, that is promising news indeed, Magister Sunwood.  I believe it was you who detained our little insurance policy, am I not mistaken?”

“Correct m’lord.”  Sunwood said with his arm still being held to by his ‘wife’.

“You should be proud of what you have accomplished dear Sunwood.” Dawnseeker said as he eyed the female at his side, then back to the man directed.

Zalra felt the lump in her throat grow to a size that she was almost certain could be seen by everyone there.  Her eyes were no doubt focused on him, she could feel that hot burning sensation slowly start rising up her neck and back.  She would remain silent when the glance moved back to Sunwood.

“I. . .was  . .only looking out for your interests m’lord. . . this gift was meant to show we’ve completed our task...”

He peered toward the Magister who was giving him that dead to rights stare that he had given so many others in his group up until that moment.  An awkward silence that was growing in the room caused a bit of tension to slip past his own narrowing gaze.  And Sennaris could detect flutters within the collective group of many mixed emotions.

“A finer sentence has not graced these ears since I listened to my own dictation on the our ‘Horde First’ initiative. Selflessness, that is something we should all consider; this isn’t about one. . . it is about the group as a whole, our success. Well said Sunwood and for the record, perhaps it is you I should be promoting instead of Honeywell here.” Dawnseeker laughed and threw back another sip from his wine glass.

The group of magisters, even the one referenced in the little jab shared a collective laugh at his expense.  Secretly though, it would be one of those passing sentences that lived to burrow deep in the back on ones mind to make them second guess everything they were doing.

“Now. . .where is the prize I have so been longing to see.” Dawnseeker stated as he peered across the room at the silent and still sitting Siida Kash’ebahl.

“Right this way Master.”  Honeywell interrupted before Sunwood could speak.  Moving to lead the head man toward where the captive was sitting.

The entire group of Magisters moved at this point.  Each one of them more hesitant than the last to truly say anything other than agreeing with their leader.  As they stepped closer, the young Matron continued to reassure herself that nothing would happen.  Zalra and Sennaris were right there; if anything went south they would drop cover to help her.  And Marseille, where was he?  

Verzatea and the pale old elf were currently hiding behind the edge of their booth where they could remain out of sight but still listen in.

“M’Lady Kash’ebahl.”  Dawnseeker said in a haughty, and snobbish tone.

“Magister Dawnseeker.”  She replied as her golden orbs peered up from the table at him. “I would invite you to pull up a seat but we both know how you enjoy lording over those you surround yourself with. . .”

Dawnseeker was silent.  His face was that of stone.  Nothing could have broken his resolve and when she insulted him; he would only flash his pearly smile.

“It is good to see that our esteemed guest has not lost her sense of humor. . .”

The magister retorted as his own rich golden eyes peered back and forth among the group; insisting he hear a laughed, which was directly behind his quip.

“Don’t you mean prisoner?”  she replied, still sitting as tall as her back would allow.

“Don’t be so silly Miss. . .it is Miss isn’t it.  I recall you once having a brief affair with a noble lord, prior to your knowledge of your origin.” he paused as his hand slowly reached down and rested on the table to help him better lean in. “Miss Kash’ebahl. You are a welcomed person among us this evening.  What would make you think ‘prisoner’ is a proper term?”

She would hold her stance firm while she glared back at him.  Despite his intimidating features and mannerisms, she was not going to be bullied or threatened.  And she was certainly not going to sit there and listen to him prattle on about how welcome she was.

“Welcome guests don’t often get escorted in irons to and from important occasions.  Nor was I allowed to send any regard to my house to let them know I was unsuccessful in my task.” Siida hissed while she frowned.

“I heard about your little adventure down to Stranglethorn.  Magister Sunwood was most generous on the details.  How you threw yourself at him, pleading for your brothers life, begging for his release.” the magister smiled, knowing that the subject was still tender. “How is he these days?”

“I could ask you the same question.”  she responded almost immediately without so much as an eyelash out of place.

“You have. . .”  He paused and peered back toward Sunwood and Honeywell. “Where-is-he. . . ?”

“Whats the matter?” Siida interrupted while they spoke, a smirk on her face. “Don’t know where he is either?”

Dawnseeker would calmly turned on his heel as he methodically resumed his conversation with the little sister.

“Why do I get the feeling you are hiding something from me.”  his sinister tone slithered as if he was about to bite.

“That is not important, what is important is that I be released to my family; you are stepping very far out of line and I don’t believe I wish to tolerate these games any longer.” Siida announced suddenly as she huffed. “And get these restraints off of me.”

“Restraints” he asked curiously when she went to go lift her arms and there was nothing.

“Yes. . .Honeywell found it necessary to bind my wrists with an Arcane filament to ensure I did not attempt anything heroic.”

Dawnseeker instantly whipped back around and his eyes burned holes in man in question.

“Why. . .is she. . .bound.”  

“Master, I . . .did not think--”

“No you most certainly did not.  Release her.” he spat suddenly and the magister he’d been speaking to would summon a spell to dismiss the conjured tether.

Siida slowly brought her hands up toward her chest, rolling her wrists back and forth and seeing that everything was in tact.  Her golden orbs glancing past; and directly into the eyes of the lead Magister when she rose.

“I offered my trust to Magister Sunwood; that I would have this opportunity to speak with you face to face.  It was never my intention to come here threatening you; but to plead with you to tell me where my brother possibly could be.  And ask you to please cease this insufferable intolerance against our house.”  

Her voice was firm, yet slightly shaken by the intimidation of the room.  It was full of several of prominent Magisters. She proudly turned her nose up and held her chin high while during, and after her speech.  And she would stand her ground even when the lead man came forward to stand before her.

“Siida Kash’ebahl. . .there are things; many things, that remain unsaid between you and your brother.  And most certainly things that he has not told you.  Things that I discoverer while investigating your House and his affairs.  It is not just a simple money grab to obtain your stake in the business the Kash’ebahl family has been running for some near three centuries, but an attempt to weed out a rat from our collective group.”

As he continued to speak, Marseille and Verzatea were tucked behind the paper construct of their bakery stand.  They could hear everything that was going on, and at the mention of these dealings, both of them would peer toward one another wondering what ‘truth’ he actually had found.

“Were you aware that your brother is transferring illegal weapons across faction lines?  Items that Quel’thalas has struggled to get during this time of war that he so easily is able to aquire?  And rather than give it back to his own people; he has been selling it. . .or perhaps giving it to our enemies?”

As she went to go speak, her voice was silenced when he presented more facts.

“Are you also aware that several people standing in this room; including the ones who are not currently able to join us, have been solicited with bribes? Asked to look the other way and turn a blind eye to the blatant disregard to our cities customs and trafficking laws?”

Verzatea peered over at the pale old elf and yawned.  It was about all she could do to prevent herself from falling asleep.  These crimes were entirely old news to them.  They all knew what Lazarius was doing.

“And what about dealings with Stormwind? Yes we have been blackmailing to keep this information silent.  And yes we have been extorting him for money.  But not a single one of us here would fraternize with the enemy.”

Zalra and Sennaris would remain at their post when Siida forcibly balled her knuckles and clenched her fists at her side.

“And that does not give you any right to openly attack him!”  she shouted, which to everyone's amazement was the first time anyone had every done so to the Magister.

He held in a laugh for far too long, and finally erupted in a sinister cackle that echoed along the ballroom.

“Do not make me laugh child, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”   his voice sang, hardly worried about her accusation.

“No? What about filtering the money you extorted from my brother into a separate banking account so that you could have hush money for some of your nefarious deeds.” Siida belted out.

“I never--”

“Or the fact that you hired bounty hunters to capture my brother, and return him to you in Quel’thalas so that he could be hung!”

“Well tha--”

“You lied to me, you lied to the courts and you lied to your own supporters because of your selfish greed and ignorance!”

“Enough!” he howled.

To be continued... In Depths Below:Masquerade,Part 7

@pyravari-kashebahl

@daltalah

@whatadarkbitch

@siidaraykashebahl

@thebladeitself

@suncrest-legacy

[docholligay]

A Whole Latke Trouble

@katrani gave me a really interesting and challenging prompt this month, having Mercy be invited to the Hamantaschen-Latke debate! I bascially had to have this debate with myself, and a few times in this I made myself actually chuckle. I hope you enjoy!

To Mercy, that this was even up for debate was foolishness at its peak, and she comforted herself only in knowing that some debates are held only for their own sake, a mental exercise that has nothing to do with truth and everything to do with practice, a way of teaching how to logic things out.

Even so, she was pleased to have been selected for the correct side. It was always easier to argue something you believed, even if she did remember her father’s lessons in debate and conversation, the ones her mother shook her head at, laughing, as she and her father parried back and forth on any number of ideas. It was never her strength, but always her delight.

That Pharah disagreed with her was only a forgivable weakness, a result of not having been raised Jewish, and so not properly understanding the cards on the table, the same as when Tracer chewed at a matzo cracker every year at Passover and declared it to be ‘not bad.’ 

Some things could not be taught, but had to be inherited at the cradle.

Mercy looked at her invitation to the annual Latke-Hamentash debate, to be held in Chicago, and nervously looked in her closet.

She had spoken at some of the most prestigious colleges and universities, to some of the most brilliant scientific minds of her generation. She was considered a major pioneer of her entire field, a hero to many young girls, and still, when she had to give a talk on anything more complicated than how to use the coffeemaker, she doubted herself. The world may see a confident doctor, in a neatly pressed skirt and blouse, but in her head she was very much the girl sitting cross-legged on the couch in her flannel pajamas, waiting for takeout.

Pharah walked through the door and headed over to her bedside table as she smiled at Mercy. Pharah was never nervous on these matters, not in the slightest. Pharah was strong and resolute as time itself. She could give speeches on strategy and debates on military policy, and whether she came out believing that she was still correct or not, for on these topics Pharah was always open to learn, she never felt afraid, and never felt ill-prepared.

Pharah should have been the one to testify in front of the United Nations, all those years ago. She would have done better.

Pharah opened the drawer to her nightstand and pulled out a bottle of hand lotion, never taking her warm, dark eyes off of Mercy.

“You seem nervous.”

Mercy nodded, looking back out at Pharah, trying to bring some strength to her voice. “I have been asked to speak at such an important event.”

Pharah set back down the bottle and walked over to Mercy as she rubbed her hands together, considering Mercy’s well-considered but not terribly large collection of speaking clothes, not answering Mercy’s concern, simply letting her eyes travel over the cotton and satin and twill.

“You are beautiful in pink.” Pharah took a pink blouse off the rack and let it move in the light, the diaphanous quality of the delicate lace detailing catching the points of brightness through the window like spiderwebs.

“Tradition demands,” Mercy gently put the pink blouse back on the rack, “that I wear academic dress. I am not being sure why I was looking, to be honest.”

She pulled the long, dark robe out of the back of the closet, and gazed at it. It had been so long since she had ever had occasion to wear it, and many times in her moves from country to country and place to place, a rootless tumbleweed, had considered disposing of it. It was not as if they would take her degree away for the want of a robe, and after the fall of Overwatch, the invitations to speak at graduation ceremonies had dropped off to nothing.

Well. She had never liked them anyway.

Pharah looked back at Mercy. “You should not be so nervous. You are the smartest woman I know, Angela. They should be afraid of you.”

Mercy could not help but return her smile. “I am not knowing about that. It is quite an event.”

She could receive hundreds of scientific awards and commendations, and she would still be humble. It was impossible, Pharah thought, not to love, for it had the quality of being genuine that one so rarely found.

Pharah took the invitation from her hand gently, looking it over, and considered for a moment. “It is for fun only, also, and not so serious.”

Angela let out a gasp of mock horror. “Fareeha! It is very serious!” She giggled, and her fear broke, for a moment. “And it is also very fun. But it is very serious. Religious matters are at stake here.”

“I am not certain the fate of the Jewish people rests on this issue.” She glanced over at Mercy playfully, who took her hand and led her back into the bedroom, tossing the robe onto the end of the bed and attempting to toss Pharah to the same.

“If it does not rest on this, on what can it rest?” Angela gave a dramatic gesture and paused as Pharah sat down on the bed, watching her with a wry smile. “Our people have always marched on their stomachs. And what will take you through the hard times that we have had to endure?”

“The sweetness of a date,” Pharah pointed at her, eyes keen with the spirit of the issue and the things she had learned at Mercy’s side, “is a symbol of the sweetness that will come to the Jewish people in time.”

Mercy paced toward the window, nodding, considering, and then whirled around. “Only! A hamantash can be filled with many things, and not only dates! The latke is steady, and always as promised, and it can bear under many things. If we are speaking of hamantashen filled with so much, so might a Jew be filled with sweetness, or sourness, or bitterness, and if we say the hamantash is the symbol of our futures, can the fate of the Jewish people be anything at all?”

“Yes,  I think history might bear that out, Angela.”  Pharah looked at her for a moment, unsure of whether or not Mercy was joking.

Mercy laughed but looked at Pharah with mock annoyance. “I am to speak on the merits of the latke, basing it on my education. I am not being a historian.”

She straightened herself up and paced back and forth again, twisting her hair in and out of its loose bun, finally setting herself forward to her Egyptian audience and nodding decisively.

“The potato of the latke sustains the body in a way the the,” she flicked her fingers dismissively, “light sweet pastry and syrup filling of the hamantaschen could not. The hamantash is only being frosting to the Jewish people, it is not sustaining them through the hardships that we have had to undergo. Carbohydrates they both have, which are building blocks to the body, but the starch of the potato will cover much of hunger.”

“This is very interesting, Dr. Zeigler.” Pharah crossed her arms and chuckled, delighted at Mercy’s debate speech, and the merry fun in her eyes. “I am listening to your well-considered points.”

“And!” She nearly jumped with the delight of considering a new point. “When you must run and hide, the potato will stay fresh and edible in a knapsack for many days. You cannot say so much for a pastry. Matzah has represented the ancient history of the Jewish people, and potato must the modern.”

“But,” Pharah shook her head, black hair shining in the dimming light of evening, “the oil of the latke is too heavy to allow you to move with speed. It will make you slow, and sleepy, and I would never allow my soldiers to move on such a food. How can a people learn so much of the Torah they should know, fast asleep in a fried pile?”

“A latke is never meant to be so greasy, Fareeha.”

“I am afraid I have only ever had yours.”

“Oh, you wicked thing!”

Pharah chuckled as she said it, her arms already out and ready for Mercy to tackle her to the bed, her winged goddess flying into her arms. She laid back and let Mercy teasingly smack her, calling her names in every language she knew and perhaps inventing a few she did not, giggling and smiling brightly even as she pretended to be mad. Finally, Pharah grabbed Mercy around the waist and swung her down underneath her, kissing her cheek.

“There. I have pinned you. The hamantash is superior.”  

Mercy scowled impishly at her. “You cannot win this debate with force. It is in the arena of the mind only.”

“What about,” she kissed Mercy’s neck, “Persuasion?” She looked down at Mercy. “You will be wonderful. They would not invite you if they did not think it. I will be in the audience watching you, and I feel very certain that when the debate is finished, I will be on the side of the latke.”

“You will not,” Mercy ran her hand down Pharah’s arm, “you will always be preferring the sweet thing over the potato. Such a flaw.”

Pharah shrugged. “Marry Tracer.”

Mercy looked at her flatly. “Lena put her gravy and butter on them. That is hardly an improvement.”

“I will,” Pharah reached over and touched the robe, “Clean and press this, and we will go to Chicago, and you will be the sparkling star of the debate. I will treat this star to a fine dinner, and take her to a hotel that is worthy of her educational brilliance.”

Mercy looked up at Pharah, wondering what she had ever done to deserve such a moment in her life.  She had been a lonely orphan whose only guiding principles were the things she had learned under the tutelage of the parents who could no longer stand by her side, and she had lost herself in the twin snakes of books and possibility, and they had crept up the staff that had led to this moment, on a soft bed with her loving and handsome wife, in a house full of friends that were family, invited to speak at one of Mercy’s favorite Jewish gatherings and events of any year.

It had all been too beautiful to imagine, and here it was, real.

“You will be there?” There was a soft trepidation in her voice, as if afraid that the answer could ever be no.

“Of course.” Pharah said, steadily.

Pharah would have been better at the United Nations, Mercy thought.

Mercy had been alone for the hearing, facing all those sober suits in blues and black and greys with only the  wind at her back. One of a small handful left to account for the crimes of Overwatch. That she could not have been found personally liable, and had little to do with the ethical violations of Moira O’Deorain other than having spoken with her about her work, having taken her merely for a fan of her papers, mattered little in the court of public opinion, and mattered less to Mercy. It had been lonely, in a way she had not felt since she was a child standing in the crater of where her home used to be.

But there was a garden, now, where her house used to stand at the edge of Zurich. It bloomed with flowers that were bright and fragrant, a new thing that had taken the ash and converted it into something beautiful. And maybe that was her life. And maybe that was what it meant to look for the sun.

This time, she would face the crowd, and there would be Pharah, sitting there, bright as the daffodils that bloomed where her home has been, face beaming, just for her.

Mercy touched the end of Pharah’s nose. “The latke is the symbol of the Jews. For we are all of the same make, even dressed in different sauces and the toppings of our lands.”

Pharah laughed.

“I award the debate to Doctor Angela Ziegler.”

[patriotsnet]

What Republicans Are Running For President

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-republicans-are-running-for-president/

What Republicans Are Running For President

How Mitt Romney Could Wind Up Running The United States 6 Years After Losing The Presidential Election

If, as expected, Mitt Romney wins his race for a Senate seat from Utah he may become the most powerful man in the United States Senate. As many of us remember, Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts, ran for president in 2012 and lost to Barack Obama. It wasn’t one of those totally humiliating losses—the map did not turn blue—but we assumed Mitt Romney would fade into history.

Well, maybe not.

Here’s how. Just a few months ago, conventional wisdom was that while the Democrats had a good chance of taking control of the House of Representatives, the Senate was out of reach. In 2018 there will be at least 35 Senate seats up—of which 26 are held by Democrats. Democrats need a net gain of 2 seats to take control of the Senate. In an ordinary year this would be tough for two reasons. One is that incumbents usually win, and secondly, 10 of those Democratic senators represent states that went for Trump in 2016—so a somewhat popular president might be able to use his clout to win a Senate seat back from the Democrats. But this is no ordinary year as poll after poll and special election after special election indicate a “blue wave” for Democrats.

EKamarckrecent pollspolling aheadpolling close

Us Election 2024: Who Are The Likely Republican Candidates To Run For President Against Joe Biden

Mike Pence, Ivanka Trump and Ted Cruz are among the rumoured candidates to become Donald Trump’s successor

The 2020 presidential race has only just finished, but the Republican candidates for 2024 are already preparing themselves for their shot at the White House.

We take a look at who may be looking to get themselves in to the race.

Nj Primary Elections 2020: The Five Republicans Who Want To Take Over As Us Senator

Colleen O’Dea, Senior Writer and Projects EditorNJ Decides 2020Politics

Five Republicans are vying for the chance to try to do something no one else has been able to do in almost a half-century: Convince New Jersey voters to elect a Republican to serve in the U.S. Senate, where Democrat Cory Booker now sits.

It has been 48 years since New Jersey voters have sent a Republican to the U.S. Senate, and registered Democrats outnumber Republicans by nearly a million. In 2018, Republican and former pharmaceuticals executive Bob Hugin spent more than $39 million, including $36 million of his own money, and lost by 11 percentage points to incumbent Bob Menendez, who had been considered vulnerable after his trial on political corruption charges ended in a hung jury.

“Statewide races are the toughest ones of all for a GOP outnumbered by a million more registered Democrats in the state,” said Micah Rasmussen, director of the Rebovich Institute for New Jersey Politics at Rider University. “But even before party registrations were so lopsided, Republican Senate candidates have fared more poorly here than almost anywhere else in the nation.” Since New Jersey last sent a Republican to the Senate in 1972, “the GOP has lost a staggering 15 Senate races in a row,” he said.

Thoughts On New Poll: Most Republicans Want Trump To Run For President In 2024

John Fletcher Jrsays:

May 29, 2021 at 11:48 am

There may not be an American Presidential Office to run for when Joe Biden is done. I still believe Joe Biden is a Counterfeit President. One thing is certain, Barack Hussein Obama is happy that Joe Biden now reigns as worst American President. America get yourself ready for HYPERINFLATION, it’s coming.

May 29, 2021 at 3:43 pm

I have hats of Trump that read ” make America Great Again”, Trump 2020?,and “KEEP AMERICA GREAT”,I also have flags of him ” TRUMP ON THE TANK”, “TRUMP 2020, NO MORE BULLSHIT”. and I just got a new one,“TRUMP 2024” and then I have a MASK that reads, “TRUMP 2024 and has 2 AMERICAN FLAGS .So I really hope he runs, otherwise all of this means nothing ! TRUMP 2024 and TRUE FIGHTING REPUBLICANSIN 2022 !! NO RINOS NEEDED ! STAND UP OR SHUT UP !

May 29, 2021 at 5:19 pm

IT is more than if he runs or not. YOU are sending a message that you stand for freedoms and still support that hard work he did while still in office. Trump stands for AMERICA FIRST and that is also part of your message to the leftists.You are sending a great message no matter what he decides….You know as well as I do that he is all about what is best for the AMERICA and All Americans….SO IF he supports someone else to run then we know that person is worthy of what we all need as AMERICANS.Don;t loose hope and wear your attire with pride knowing there are many others still hoping for another win.

Yes we want Donald Trunp be our presidentin 2024.

Republican Lawmakers Are Terrified Of Trump Running For President Again

A new report by Politico cites multiple unnamed Republican lawmakers – even those who publicly praise Trump – who say that they REALLY don’t want Donald Trump running for President again in 2024. They would much rather see Trump working “behind the scenes” to help shore up support for the Party as a whole, and they insist that the Party is stronger now than it was five years ago. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins discusses this.

Transcript:

*This transcript was generated by a third-party transcription software company, so please excuse any typos.

Recently, Politico interviewed several Republican lawmakers, who of course all chose to remain nameless. But Politico says that these were Trump supporting lawmakers, still are Trump supporting lawmakers, by the way. And each one of them said that they do not want Donald Trump to be the Republican party’s nominee in 2024. In fact, they don’t want Trump to run for president ever again. I’ll read a couple quotes from some of these lawmakers here. Here’s what one of them said, he’s one of the best presidents we’ve had in terms of policies. But having said that if it were up to me, I would never have Trump on any ballot ever again, because it’s such a distraction. I would love for him to play a behind the scenes role and not be on the ballot. Another one said, I’d like to see a fresh face. I think we have a lot of them.

Eight Republican 2024 Candidates Speak In Texas Next Week But Not Trump

Steve Holland

WASHINGTON, April 30 – A Republican Party event in Texas next week will hear from eight potential candidates for the party’s presidential nomination in 2024, without former President Donald Trump, a source involved in the planning said on Friday.

The May 7 event at a hotel in Austin is being co-hosted by U.S. Senator John Cornyn and Texas Governor Greg Abbott, to thank donors who helped fund a voter registration drive and get-out-the-vote efforts in the state.

High-profile Republican politicians who are considering whether to seek the party’s nomination in 2024 are expected to speak to the crowd of about 200 donors.

They include former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, former Vice President Mike Pence, former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and U.S. senators Marco Rubio, Tim Scott and Rick Scott, the source said.

The event comes as Republicans wrestle with whether to try to move past Trump in the next election cycle or fall in line behind him. Trump told Fox Business Network’s Maria Bartiromo on Thursday that he was “100%” considering another run after losing in 2020 to Democrat Joe Biden.

Trump was not invited to Texas, the source said. Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley was invited but was unable to attend, the source said.

Many Republican insiders doubt Trump will follow through on his musings about running for president in 2024, leaving a void that other party leaders will seek to fill.

Fact Check: Trump Did Not Call Republicans The Dumbest Group Of Voters

5 Min Read

An old quote falsely attributed to Donald Trump has recently resurfaced online. The viral meme alleges Trump told People magazine in 1998 that Republicans are “the dumbest group of voters in the country”. This is false.

While the quote has been debunked several times since it apparently surfaced in 2015, users have recently been resharing it on social media. Examples can be seen here , here , here , here

The meme reads: “If I were to run, I’d run as a Republican. They’re the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News. I could lie and they’d still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific. – Donald Trump, People Magazine, 1998”

Snopes first wrote about the false quote here in October 2015 . Since then, the quote has been debunked multiple times .

People magazine has confirmed in the past that its archive has no register of this alleged exchange.

“People looked into this exhaustively when it first surfaced back in Oct. . We combed through every Trump story in our archive. We couldn’t find anything remotely like this quote–and no interview at all in 1998.”, a magazine spokesperson told Factcheck.org that year .

In December 1987, People published a profile on Donald Trump titled “Too Darn Rich”. The article quoted him saying he was too busy to run for president .

The Long Race For The 2024 Republican Presidential Nomination Begins

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa — In the past week alone, Nikki Haley regaled activists in Iowa, Mike Pence courted donors in California and Donald Trump returned to the rally stage, teasing a third campaign for the White House.

The midterms are more than a year away, and there are 1,225 days until the next presidential election. But Republicans eyeing a White House run are wasting no time in jockeying for a strong position in what could emerge as an extremely crowded field of contenders.

The politicking will only intensify in the coming weeks, particularly in Iowa, home to the nation’s leadoff presidential caucuses and a state where conservative evangelicals play a significant role in steering the direction of the GOP. Sen. Tom Cotton of Arkansas is slated to visit on Tuesday, and others, including Pence, South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem and former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo are expected to appear in July.

The flurry of activity is a sign that there is no clear frontrunner to lead the GOP if Trump opts against a 2024 campaign.

“It definitely feels early, but it doesn’t feel like it’s a bad idea based on the situation,” said Mike DuHaime, a longtime Republican strategist. “The party has changed, the voters are changing and I think the process has changed. And I think many of the candidates have realized that.”

“We won the election twice,” he said. “And it’s possible we’ll have to win it a third time.”

As for Trump?

Are You Ready For Republican Tim Scott To Run For President In 2024

The Senate’s lone Black Republican member, Tim Scott, is opening eyes and creating conversation about his 2024 political prospects.According to Fox News, Scott has brought in $14.4 million in campaign fundraising, after posting $9.6 million during April-June. The total amount in his campaign coffers has led many to believe that Scott is eying higher office than just the U.S. Senate.Scott has kept his name ringing in the political arena during his tenure in the Senate, especially after delivering a GOP response to President Biden’s primetime address to a joint session of Congress earlier this year. Scott has also led his party in negotiations with congressional Democrats on a major police reform bill.

While Scott has downplayed the hype surrounding his political aspirations, people on the Hill and talking heads on camera are noting that he could possibly be a 2024 Republican presidential nominee.

“Tim Scott is a force,” Jim Merrill, a New Hampshire-based Republican consultant said to Fox News. “His strong numbers reflect how he has inspired activists and business leaders alike, good for both his reelection next year and for a potential presidential campaign in 2024.”

Fear of a Black Landowner

With Scott previously downplaying the notion of running for president and his recent declaration that he won’t run for Senate after 2022, Black America will just have to see if Tim Scott will lean-in to the dollars raised to bankroll a potential campaign for the White House.

Reaction

New Poll: Most Republicans Want Trump To Run For President In 2024

A new Quinnipiac University national poll released this week revealed that two-thirds of Republicans want former President Donald Trump to run for president in 2024.

The Quinnipiac poll surveyed 1,316 U.S. adults nationwide from May 18-24. The poll’s margin of error was +/- 2.7 percentage points.

Three key Republican findings of the survey included:

66% of Republicans want to see Trump run in 2024

66% of Republicans do not think Biden’s victory was legitimate

85% of Republicans want candidates that mostly agree with Trump

“The numbers fly in the face of any predictions that Donald Trump’s political future is in decline. By a substantial majority, Republicans: believe the election was stolen from him, want Trump to run again, and , if they can’t vote for Trump, prefer someone who agrees with him,” said Quinnipiac University Polling Analyst Tim Malloy.

Malloy is right. The poll reveals what many American already know — Trump still serves as a top conservative leader.

But is Trump still up for another run? And if he does, can he win?

The first question looks like a yes. Trump recently told radio host Dan Bongino people will be very happy with his answer. However, Trump has also previously said he would not announce whether he is running until after the 2022 midterm elections.

The more important question is can he win? If two-thirds of Republicans already support Trump, how many more will be required, especially in key battleground states, to reach the needed electoral votes?

Native American Voting Rights Are Under Attack In Republican

Paul Blumenthal

After turning out to vote in record numbers in 2020 despite the COVID-19 pandemic, Native Americans are now one of the biggest targets of Republican-backed voter suppression efforts in states where their votes mattered the most.

Republicans in states with significant Native populations like Arizona, Kansas, Montana and more have enacted new laws that limit voter access in ways that disproportionately impact Native voters. Imposing strict time limits on correcting a mail-in ballot, prohibiting third-party ballot collection, implementing strict voter identification requirements and making it harder to pay for election resources all negatively impact Native Americans in these states, largely due to specific circumstances on reservations where many of them live.

“The laws the state legislatures are passing are lethal to every Native American living in those states,” said OJ Semans, the founder of the Native voting rights group Four Directions and an enrolled member of the Rosebud Sioux Tribe in South Dakota. Such legislation, he said, “is going to knock us back 10 years” after “what we’ve been working through for the last 18 to 20 years to get more and more Native Americans to participate in elections.” 

It wasn’t until 1962 when New Mexico’s laws blocking Native voting fell. The Voting Rights Act of 1965 also provided important protections for Native voting rights.

Trumps Role As Republican Party Leader Is Becoming Stronger

This weekend’s CPAC straw poll results showed that Trump’s popularity — along with DeSantis’ — in the Republican Party has grown in the last six months, according to Forbes.

In February, only 55% of attendees of a similar CPAC event in Orlando, Florida, said they wanted Trump to lead the ticket in 2024, Forbes reported.

If Trump stayed in political retirement, or at least stayed off the presidential primary ballot in 2024, DeSantis lead the poll with 43% attending Republicans choosing him in February’s hypothetical presidential primary.

Related

Inside the newsroom: Words matter, including the hateful ‘Murder the media’

When Presidential Primaries Started They Weren’t Decisive

Woodrow Wilson.

The Progressive Era at the beginning of the 20th century saw a backlash against local party machines and their bosses dominating American politics. This backlash was especially pronounced in Western states, where reformers implemented ideas like legislating via ballot initiative at the polls.

Progressive reformers also invented the presidential primary. In 1910, Oregon became the first to use a popular election to pick its delegates for national conventions, with the delegates pledged to support specific candidates.

But these primaries lacked the efficacy and decisiveness of those we have today, in part because most states didn’t have them and in part because the ultimate nomination decision was still made via a multi-ballot process at a national convention.

In 1912, ex-President Theodore Roosevelt decided to challenge his successor William Howard Taft for the GOP nomination. He crushed Taft in the primaries, carrying nine of the 12 states that held primaries, while Robert La Follette won two and Taft just one.

But that still left 36 other states, which mostly sent pro-Taft delegates to the convention, securing him the nomination. And that led Roosevelt to bolt the party and launch an independent bid for the general election.

But while McAdoo didn’t have enough support to win, he did have enough to block the party bosses’ favorite, New York Gov. Al Smith, a Catholic.

Why Donald Trump Is Republicans’ Worst Nightmare In 2024

Analysis by Chris Cillizza, CNN Editor-at-large

Earlier this week, amid a rambling attack on the validity of the 2020 election, former President Donald Trump said this: “Interesting that today a poll came out indicating I’m far in the lead for the Republican Presidential Primary and the General Election in 2024.”

this on Trump’s future political ambitions from Politico“Trump is confiding in allies that he intends to run again in 2024 with one contingency: that he still has a good bill of health, according to two sources close to the former president. That means Trump is going to hang over the Republican Party despite its attempts to rebrand during his exile and its blockade of a Trump-centric investigation into January’s insurrection.”new Quinnipiac University national pollhis growing legal and financial entanglementsAs CNN reported on Wednesday night“Manhattan prosecutors pursuing a criminal case against former President Donald Trump, his company and its executives have told at least one witness to prepare for grand jury testimony, according to a person familiar with the matter — a signal that the lengthy investigation is moving into an advanced stage.”

The Contenders Who Competed To Run Against Donald Trump

Tom MurseTom Murse

Within weeks of Donald Trump taking the oath of office as the nation’s 45th president, challengers began lining up to see who would attempt to unseat him in the 2020 presidential election. The controversial president faced early challenges from within his own party, but by and large, the focus remained on the candidates put forth by the opposing Democratic Party.

During one of the most crowded primary seasons in recent memory, several high-profile Democrats, including multiple sitting senators and rising stars in the party, competed for the party’s nomination. Ultimately, it was former vice president Joe Biden who won the party’s nomination. He selected Senator Kamala Harris, another primary candidate, as his running mate, and the ticket won the 2020 general election with 51.3% of the vote and 306 electoral votes to 46.9% and 232 electoral votes for the incumbent Trump/Pence ticket.

Here’s a look at the Democrats, and even members of Trump’s own Republican Party, who ran campaigns looking to unseat the controversial commander-in-chief.

Democratic Challengers

February 7, 2020

Former Us Ambassador To The United Nations Nikki Haley

Haley, 49, stands out in the potential pool of 2024 Republican candidates by her resume. She has experience as an executive as the former governor of South Carolina and foreign policy experience from her time as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

Haley was a member of the Republican Party’s 2010 tea party class. A former South Carolina state representative, her long shot gubernatorial campaign saw its fortunes improve after she was endorsed by Sarah Palin. Haley rocketed from fourth to first just days after the endorsement, and she went on to clinch the nomination and become her state’s first female and first Indian-American governor.

As governor, she signed a bill removing the Confederate flag from the state Capitol following the white supremacist attack at the Emanuel African Methodist Church in Charleston. She left office in 2017 to join the Trump administration as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, and Quinnipiac poll found she was at one point the most popular member of Trump’s foreign policy team.

“I think that she’s done a pretty masterful job in filling out her resume,” said Robert Oldendick, a professor and director of graduate studies at the University of South Carolina’s department of political science.

Haley criticized Trump following the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol by his supporters, saying she was “disgusted” by his conduct. Oldendick said he thought her “pretty pointed criticism of the president will potentially cause some problems.”

Republican Candidates Running For The Us 2020 Election

Bill Weld was married twice and has five children.

Weld ran for vice-president as a Libertarian on the Gary Johnson ticket in the 2016 presidential election.

As a conservative, Weld is strongly pro-choice on abortion issues.

The presidential race is on and the candidates are being whittled down to the very few. Who is running on the Republican side? Current President Donald Trump is going for re-election, and the only candidate now challenging him for election as president of the US this coming November 3rd, 2020 is Bill Weld, a former Massachusetts governor.

The 2024 Republican Presidential Candidate Wild Cards

The first Democratic debate back in 2019 had 20 — TWENTY! — candidates, so don’t be surprised if the Republican field is just as large or larger. We could have some more governors or representatives run, or even other nontraditional candidates, like a Trump family member, a Fox News host or a celebrity, like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who’s said he’s “seriously considering” a run. Stranger things have happened.

Who Wants To Run For Governor As A Republican In 2022

Pennsylvania Republicans have been battling with Gov. Tom Wolf since he unseated incumbent Tom Corbett in 2014. Many of them are eager to take Wolf’s place, but there is no clear frontrunner this early in the race. Several Republicans have already announced their bid, and a few others have hinted or shown interest in joining what is expected to be a crowded primary. Thus far, it’s hard to find a Republican candidate without some sort of ties to former President Donald Trump. 

With a heated race to fill U.S. Sen. Pat Toomey’s seat next year, the GOP will have to be strategic about what candidates it wants to back for the Senate and for governor. Potential candidates will also have to weigh their options and decide where they fit best and can compete.

There are plenty of names that could be added to this list in the coming months, but here is our second iteration of potential Republican candidates for 2022. A couple of candidates have been added since the last edition.

Running

Former U.S. Rep Lou Barletta

Montgomery County Commissioner Joe Gale

Gale was the first Republican to formally announce his candidacy for governor back in February. An avid Trump supporter, he has criticized the Pennsylvania GOP and pledged to be a conservative populist. He’s also caught attention for and saying Trump’s presidency was sabotaged. 

Former Corry Mayor Jason Monn

Pittsburgh attorney Jason Richey

Dr. Nche Zama

Charlie Gerow

John Ventre

For These Republicans 2024 Is Just Around The Corner

Mike Pence. Mike Pompeo. Rick Scott. They share big ambitions, but one name hovers above them all …

President Biden told reporters last month that his “plan is to run for re-election,” despite already being the oldest person to have won a presidential election. So, for now at least, the question of who will lead the Democratic ticket in 2024 has been put to rest.

On the Republican side, however, certainty is in short supply. It’s beyond early to be talking about the next presidential election — but that’s only if you aren’t planning to run. Some Republican candidates have already made trips to Iowa and New Hampshire, and others are laying plans to go, in what often represents the first step in building out a campaign operation in those early-voting states.

And on Wednesday, in a conspicuously forward-looking move, former Vice President Mike Pence announced the formation of a new political organization, Advancing American Freedom, whose advisory board is stacked high with former Trump administration officials and allies. The news came on the same day Simon & Schuster announced that it would publish Pence’s autobiography as part of a two-book deal.

The G.O.P. is badly fractured, trying to hold together a dominant base of those loyal to former President Donald Trump and a stubborn minority of pro-decorum, anti-Trump conservatives. Anyone looking to grab the Republican mantle will have to find some way of satisfying both camps — and maybe even expanding upon them.

Rivera Another Candidate Who Is Trying A Second Time

Another candidate making her second Senate attempt is Natalie Lynn Rivera. A social services coordinator from Sicklerville, Rivera ran as an independent under the slogan “For the People” in 2018, garnering about 0.6% of the vote.

Rivera, 44, said she wants to give typical New Jersey residents a voice in Congress. On her Facebook campaign site she calls herself a conservative. Among her priorities are restoring Second Amendment rights that she says are “under seige” in the state and outlawing abortion.

What sets her apart from the other candidates, she said, is that she “will be a servant to the people … I think I am authentic and will serve from the heart to put their best interests at the forefront.”

Another candidate running a shoestring campaign is Eugene Tom Anagnos, a retired middle school teacher who taught in Newark and Elizabeth schools. A Greek immigrant who now lives in East Hanover, Anagnos is an Army veteran who holds a bachelor’s degree in English Literature from Indiana University.

General Election Candidates On Five Or More Ballots

In addition to Biden, Hawkins, Jorgensen, and Trump, the following candidates have qualified to appear on five or more ballots:

Roque De La Fuente   Gloria La Riva   Jade Simmons   Jesse Ventura/Cynthia McKinney   Sheila Tittle   Kyle Kenley Kopitke   Ricki Sue King/Dayna Chandler  

Incumbents are bolded and underlined The results have been certified.

Total votes: 158,379,904

0 states have not been called.

Here Are The Republicans To Keep An Eye On For 2024

Bradley Devlin

Republicans are paying extra attention to a number of Republican governors, senators, and former officials that might consider making a run for president in 2024.

The contenders come from various contingents of right-leaning thought, and will be fighting to capture parts of former President Donald Trump’s base. Whichever Republican hopeful prevails will not only become the Republican Party’s nominee, but also help determine the ideological trajectory of the Republican Party in the post-Trump era.

Vice President Mike Pence

It’s not uncommon for vice presidents to follow up their stint as second-in-command with a run for president. Former President John Adams, the nation’s second president, was America’s first vice president under President George Washington. More recently, President Joe Biden became the 46th president four years after he ended his eight-year tenure as former President Barack Obama’s vice president.

Vice President Mike Pence might decide to do the same, but Pence’s relationship with Trump seems to be severely tarnished after Pence did not contest the certification of the Electoral College results, as reported by The Hill.

Senator Ted Cruz

Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz could run for president again come 2024 after he defended his senate seat in 2018 from Democratic challenger Beto O’Rourke. Cruz’s bid for the presidency in 2016 ended in failure as Trump captured the Republican Party’s nomination.

Senator Josh Hawley

Governor Ron DeSantis

Poll Results Are Fake Unless Theyre Good Trump Says

During his speech at the Dallas convention Sunday night, Trump said he only would have believed the results of CPAC’s straw poll if they were his favor, Business Insider reported.

“Now, if it’s bad, I just say it’s fake,” the former president told the crowd, reported Insider. “If it’s good, I say that’s the most accurate poll, perhaps ever.”

In the past, Trump has decried similar things he doesn’t like as false, like referring to unfavorable media coverage as “fake news.”

Early Nomination Contests Didn’t Involve Primaries

Presidents Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren.

Intraparty disputes over who should be nominated for the presidency are as old as the republic itself. But the modern system of determining nominees through a series of state primary elections is essentially an innovation of the 1970s. Before that, parties deployed a wide range of methods.

The Democratic-Republicans, the dominant political party of the early 19th century, used to select candidates via a vote of the party’s members in Congress.That method let it control the White House for 20 years, and lasted until the rivalry between John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson made the party splinter into the Democrats and the Whigs in the aftermath of the 1824 election.

Back in 1836, in the early days of Whig versus Democrat competition, the Whig Party even tried nominating several candidates simultaneously in their bid to block Martin Van Buren from succeeding Jackson in the White House.

In most Northern states, William Henry Harrison appeared on the general election ballot, while Hugh White got the nod in most Southern ones. And Massachusetts Whigs went with Daniel Webster , while Willie Magnum was nominated in South Carolina.

But it did not work. Van Buren won the election, and in subsequent contests the Whigs emulated the Democrats, picking a single nominee at a broad national convention with representatives from all states.

[louandhazaf]

Annual Writing Self Evaluation

1. List of works published this year:

Loudest Thing in my Head

How Many Licks

Aftercare

Swallow My Words

Always Holding on to Stars

Let’s Not Fight in Vegas

Darkest Night Hour

Got Me On My Tiptoes

Let’s Raise a Cup

Those Summer Nights

how long nothing lasts

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I’ll Be Your Pride

Polish Rider

What I’ve Wanted to Tell You

So When the World is Cold

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I have two that stick out to me.

The first is Swallow My Words because it’s on the longer side (for me...) but I was still happy with the pacing which is normally where I trip myself up when writing long fics. And I just really love those characters so much. What I’ve Wanted to Tell You is the first part of the series and I have two other fics that will go into that universe that I just need time to write, but sometimes I’ll just think about what those two are up to these days.

The second is how long nothing lasts because I think I have a lot of emotion in there without it being soppy or overdone. And to me, it was fun coming up with a not-so-literal interpretation of the prompt (... um, even if at the end I had to sneak it in there because I don’t think it was entirely successful without it) and then it’s been absolutely fascinating to see the reaction it’s gotten after I posted it.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Honestly, I’m actually really proud of all my fics this year, for a variety of reasons: pushing myself to write new pairings/plots I normally wouldn’t tackle/under-represented smut/shorter fics/unhappy endings. In 2016 I posted a fic that I wasn’t 100% proud of, and it still raises my hackles a bit thinking of it, so I promised myself I wouldn’t do that this year.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I chose a bit from Swallow My Words because they’re not great at communicating and I really like how dramatic they both are at this moment as they’re trying to navigate through their own priorities.

While Louis dug through the pantry for the popcorn, Harry idly shuffled some papers on the counter. The corner of one of the sheets near the bottom caught his eye. It had the state university logo. He tugged it a bit so he could sneak a peek. Harry hadn’t gotten his letter yet and Louis said he was still waiting to hear. Clearly he was lying, the word “congratulations” in the first sentence gave that away.

Louis pushed the food around on the shelves, a cacophony of packages rustling and knocking against each other. His voice was muffled from inside the pantry. “I just think it’s funny how you act like you’re so proud and strong, yet you won’t stand up to those assholes. And you’re supposed to be their captain.”

Right. Well, he was glad to hear what Louis really thought of him. It was almost like Louis went to a super liberal private school where they taught things like sex ed, gender studies, and women’s history, where they had a diverse staff who upheld their zero tolerance bullying policy, and where there were already a few out kids. It was almost like he and Louis were living through completely different school experiences. It was almost like Louis hadn’t listened to a fucking word he had been saying for years as he tried to navigate the minefield that was his own school.

And now the person who’d been his rock, his source of comfort through it all, thought he was a coward. He’d been lying to Harry about the acceptance letter from State because he didn’t want to go to college with him or play on a team with such a chicken shit. Louis was probably trying to figure out how to break up with him right now.

“Yeah, real fucking funny, Lou.” Harry turned and left the kitchen in silence. He was at the front door and shoving his feet into his shoes before Louis probably realized he was alone in the kitchen. He slammed the door and caught the tail end of Louis calling after him.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

All of them? But also when ao3 emails me and I see that one reader has kudos multiple fics of mine in a short time. That always makes me overjoyed.  

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Every single fic that I posted in 2017 had a deadline, whether self-imposed because of a milestone/birthday that I wanted to hit, or was written as part of a bigger challenge/collection/exchange. Anytime I tried to write something without a deadline, it got swept to the side. (To be fair to me, this is also because of the amount of stuff I ended up modding & pinch hitting, which meant I had a lot of last minute stuff that ended up taking priority.) So, writing for *myself* I think was really really hard this year. I’m making that a priority in 2018.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I think the Coach character in Swallow My Words was a surprise. I always knew that in the end he’d be there for Harry, but how it all unraveled was all them.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

This year I’ve written more, and faster, than I ever have before. I volunteered to pinch hit a few fics and doing those really stretched me with both writing concise fics quickly and finding my voice in fics that I might never have written otherwise. They were a fun challenge. For the first time, I also did a canon fic, which is still super scary and which I’m not sure I’m going to do again, but I’m really glad I was able to follow through with it. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

This is an excellent question that I don’t have an answer to... maybe I’d like to do some more experimental fics? I know I need to work on dialogue, so maybe that too? 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh wow. Um, I have a lot. First and foremost, I’m going to say gettingaphdinlarry (@gettingaphdinlarry) for being the most thorough and wonderful beta. Anytime I scream-typed my histrionics and doubted myself “AH! I CAN’T DO THIS”/“THIS IS TERRIBLE”/“WHY AM I DOING THIS?” she was there with calm reassurance that I could, in fact, do it and it was never as terrible as I thought. She’s so much fun to work with because I learn new things every single time she betas for me and I always end up laughing at myself. Plus, her writing is incredible, so getting to work with someone like that is fabulous. Please go read her works. Please. 

I have really really really been into short fics at the moment and in particular myownspark (@myownsparknow) & jiksa (@jiksax) & softly have all written such concise, powerful fics where so much is left unsaid in a really satisfying way. I love when authors trust in themselves enough to let the reader fill in the white space surrounding the words and I hope to do more of that in the future. 

And last, but certainly not least, fullonlarrie (@fullonlarrie) for literally talking to me about fics and writing day and in and day out this year. I cherish your endless support, I’m in awe of your writing speed and how you’re able to spin up stories, and I want us to be friends forever.  

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

yes, of course, always.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I did what any self respecting person would do in this situation and I Googled what better writers than me had to say on this matter. 

I think the two main ideas I’d like to share are:

“I have a sort of idea that isn’t really an idea. .... I just show up in front of the computer. Show up, show up, show up, and after a while the muse shows up, too. If she doesn’t show up invited, eventually she just shows up.” -- Isabel Allende

This is something that’s hard for me to remember sometimes as well, but honestly just sitting down and doing it is the very best advice I think there is. And I’ll follow that up with this, because I think they’re linked:

“You have to finish things — that’s what you learn from, you learn by finishing things.” -- Neil Gaiman

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I have a boatload of WIPs that I need to finish in 2018. Like... 7. PLUS I’m doing the @1dshortficfest so I’m excited for that. 

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I’m not tagging anyone, but I know a lot of you writers are out there and I would love to see your answers, so please consider doing this!

*All answers should be about works published in 2017. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. 

(also, here’re my responses from 2016)

[ellanainthetardis]

Hello, friends, I have come back from the war! I am full of The 100 feels lately so you get the fruits of a very cracky talk I had with @akachankami regarding jealousy and Jaha. This is taking place post S4 in the bunker, it’s mostly a mix of fluff and crack so… don’t take it too seriously!

[FF] or [AO3]

Doomed

Marcus was laughing so hard tears were pooling in his eyes.

He had been laughing for almost ten minutes straight by that point and Abby was starting to get concerned about possible strokes. It was hard to blame him for it though. She had had troubles controlling her own chuckles when she had told him the story the first time and, if she had been shaking her head at him all the while when she had repeated it for the second time, her lips had still been twitching with the smile she was fighting.

“Tell me again.” he demanded between two gasps of breath. “What did he say?”

“That I shouldn’t feel bad that our relationship didn’t work out because it was doomed from the start.” she said, her amusement clouded with a touch of irritation. If it hadn’t been so ridiculous, she   might have been angrier with Jaha.

“Doomed.” Marcus chuckled, wiping his eyes.

She wasn’t even surprised when he flopped on his back on their bed and covered his face with his hands, lost to his hilarity.

She perched herself on the table that doubled as a desk, careful not to disturb the files and papers they both left lying around, and folded her arms across her chest, watching him with her head tilted to the side. It was good to see him like that, she decided, and, to be honest, it was good to laugh so much. In the three months since the bunker doors had closed, there hadn’t been a lot of fun to have around – which might explain why they were both finding the situation so hysterical, it was nerves.

Still…

Jaha making an ass of himself was amusing.

“I can’t believe he finally made a move on you.” Marcus insisted, calming down enough to lift his head and look at her. “Do you know how long he’s been staring at you when he thinks nobody’s watching him? It used to creep me out.”

“And now?” she challenged.

A soft smile stretched his lips and he gave her a tiny shrug. “Now you’re with me so I just feel sorry for him.”

He wasn’t even jealous and she didn’t know if she was pleased or annoyed by that. Pleased, she supposed, because he had no reason to be and she would have hated it if he had made a scene about something she hadn’t even asked for in the first place. Annoyed because… Well, it was good to be desired, probably.

“Don’t be so confident.” she teased. “Apparently, we’re doomed.”

The word, so ridiculous to apply to their relationship given everything their people had been through, sent him back into guffaws and she shook her head at him, no longer fighting her own smile, watching his chest spasm on that bed with every new round of laughter.

“You know, I should really be mad at him…” he said after a few seconds, his voice still unsteady from all the laughing. “What kind of man tries to steal his friend’s partner right after they broke up?”

“We didn’t break up.” she reminded him. “We just had a fight in front of the whole bunker for the fifth time in a week.”

Making sure the bunker had a system that would work for five years and keeping to it was complicated. In a lot of ways, it felt like being back on the Ark and the limitation on the amount of meds doctors and healers were allowed to give to one person was part of the new regulations they were trying to implement.

She had been fighting him tooth and nails about those numbers and it had resulted in several explosive arguments, two of which had been in the dining hall, two in the corridors and, finally, that morning, right in front of the main office – Octavia’s office – on the metal walkway that overlooked the gathering room.

He had been right and she had known it, which had only infuriated her even more so she had eventually stormed off after calling him a jerk – shouting at him that he was a jerk, really – and swearing for everyone to hear that she was done with him – like old times, as Jackson had teased later on in Medical. What she had meant, though, was that she was done talking to him about it, not that she was done with him.

They tried – and often failed – to keep the bunker’s problems outside of their room, to make the distinction between Chancellor/Octavia’s advisor and Head of Medical and Marcus and Abby. They might be on opposite sides of policies again out there but they were very much on the same page when it came to their relationship.

Her words and the numerous arguments must have been misinterpreted though because, later that day, she had found herself cornered in the stockroom where she had been making another quick inventory – just to make sure one last time she couldn’t pull the numbers Marcus demanded to be convinced. Jaha had always been a sort of mentor when it came to politics, she had respected him as a Chancellor, and he had always been a close family friend. Did she have a hint that he had some interest in her? Yes. Was she ready for him to offer himself as a shoulder to cry on about her break up with Marcus? Not really. Especially when he had suggested maybe they could try something before she could set the record straight. That was Thelonious’ problem. He talked, certain he was right, and rarely paused to listen.

“We had a disagreement.” he corrected.

“I called you a jerk. I’m pretty sure that qualifies as a fight.” she snorted.

“You called me a jerk across the Council’s table a dozen times and I always called that disagreements.” he pointed out, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“How politically correct of you.” she deadpanned, amused despite herself.

He grinned and outstretched a hand in an invitation she was only too happy to accept. It had been a long day and, as far as she was concerned, nights were the best part of her everyday life. At least when she didn’t have a shift and Marcus wasn’t working on something or other.

She straddled his hips and leaned in for a kiss, smiling against his lips when he brushed her braided hair back behind her shoulder.

“Doomed.” he whispered ominously and started laughing again.

She rolled her eyes, whacking his shoulder.

“We are going to be doomed if you don’t focus on me right now.” she warned. “Maybe I should have a date with Jaha after all…”

She yelped in surprise before bursting into laughter when he suddenly flipped them over, just as happy to be trapped under his strong body as she had been to straddle it.

“Are you trying to make me jealous?” he joked, his lips retracing the line of her jaw.

“Maybe.” she admitted in the middle of chuckles because his beard was tickling her.

She ran her fingers in his hair with a soft sigh, giving herself completely to what his mouth was doing on her neck. Really, she didn’t know how Jaha could be confused about what was going on between the two of them when she had been walking around with a hickey on the collarbone regularly poking out of her shirt when she moved.  

“I’m not.” he breathed out, slipping his hand under her shirt, prompting her to arch her back to push her breast into his hand. “I trust you. I trust us.” He drew back long enough to slip his own shirt over his head, mirth dancing in his eye. “Doomed as we are.”

She couldn’t help herself. She laughed again, remembering the exact know-it-all tone in which Thelonious had said that, and distractedly ran her palm over the familiar planes of his torso.

“Doomed as we are, I would still pick you.” she promised.

“Which is why I’m not really jealous of a guy who thinks we’re breaking up because you called me a jerk.” he snorted. “As if you never called me worse in front of him.”

“Well…” she drawled out innocently. “I believe that when you’re behaving like an ass, someone should let you know, Chancellor Kane.”

“I see. You’re only doing your civic duty.” he mocked.

“Exactly.” she grinned, unbuckling his belt. “I did vote for you after all.”

“I should make sure you’re satisfied, then.” he teased, his own fingers fumbling with her pants. “It’s important for me to satisfy my people, you know.”

Laughter boomed again when he pulled them off her in one swift move that would have been more impressive if he had remembered to take her boots off first.

Doomed indeed.

But in the best sweetest way.