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#my physically ones r pretty standard so i barely included any
the-casbah-way · 3 years
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my stims but they get stupider and stupider:
- singing “this is my kingdom come” from the imagine dragons song but changing the words to this is my cum
- any of the crimps from the mighty boosh. usually soup or bouncy bouncy
- *julian fawcett voice* iiiii’llll maaaaake love to u if u WANT me to
- the thing walker does in dad’s army when he’s trying to keep his hat on except i never wear a hat
- saying “the other day” in a weird nasally english accent bc a teacher said it once when i was in school and my brain won’t let me forget about it
- there’s a hare. there’s a hare- THERES A HARE
- quoting that shitpost remix of les mis ,, AND IM JAVERT,,DO NOT FORGET MY MUM
- saying “paddington will die tonight” in the voice sirius black uses when he says only one will die tonight
- FAREWELL ARAGOG, KING OF THE ARACHNIDS.,,, uR BODY WILL DECAAaaaAAY
- any bo burnham lyrics like literally any but really fast and completely monotone
- going EXCUUUUUUSE MEEEEE like how tobias does in arrested development
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melisa-may-taylor72 · 4 years
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QUEEN BEFORE QUEEN
THE 1960s RECORDINGS
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
PART 1:
BRIAN MAY, 1984 & THE LEFT HANDED MARRIAGE
JOHN S. STUART AND ANDY DAVIS DIG DEEP TO UNCOVER THE PREVIOUSLY UNDOCUMENTED AUDIO LEGACY OF ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST CHERISHED BANDS.
This month the beginning and end of Queen come together like the cosy ending of a contrived Hollywood drama. While fans wait with bated breath for the band’s final album, “Made In Heaven" — completed by Brian May, John Deacon and Roger Taylor with the aid of Freddie Mercury’s last demos — author Mark Hodkinson launches a new book in which, in greater detail than has ever been attempted before, delves into the pre-fame histories of Queen’s musical antecedents.
With previously unpublished photographs of Roger Taylor's the Reaction, John Deacon’s the Opposítion and even more impressively, Freddie Mercury’s Sour Milk Sea, ‘Queen The Early Years’ is a treat fans have waited too long to read. Coincidentally, six months ago, we commissioned Queen historian, John S. Stuart, to research the definitive article on the band’s pre-fame recordings, and as you’ll see, the results complement Hodkinson’s broader picture with hitherto undocumented details of Queen's 60s recordings.
We've touched on Larry Lurex and Smile before, of course, but the vinyl output of those two acts barely scratches the surface, so to speak: literally hours and hours of privately- recorded material of Freddie, Brian, John and Roger survive to this day — as evidenced by the recent discovery of the Reaction’s ‘In The Midnight Hour’ acetate ( see RC 191). So, while the rest of the world comes to terms with the fact that Queen’s recording career is effectively at an end, we unravel the untold history of four individuals' first tentative steps in front of the microphone, beginning with the 1960′s exploits of Brian May. Next month, we’ll embrace Smile, and John, Roger and Freddie's hidden amateur recordings; but first, 1984 and the Left Handed Marriage.
1984
Around late August, or early September 1963, as the Beatles celebrated the birth of Beatlemania with sessions for their “With The Beatles” LP at EMI’s Abbey Road Studios in North London, another rock legend was developing just around the geographical corner. In a semi-detached house in Feltham, Middlesex, electronics engineer Harold May began an 18-month task, helping his sixteen-year-...[ ]
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[ ]...old son, Brian, to construct the world's most famous home-made guitar, the ‘Red Special'. In the mean time, Brian would have to be con­tent with thrashing away at the small Spanish acoustic his parents had bought him for his seventh birthday. (Brian evidently mislaid this childhood guitar shortly afterwards; and didn't see it again until 1991, when at a ‘reunion’ of former members of 1984, his schoolfriend and first musical collaborator, Dave Dilloway, returned it to him. Brian was so thrilled, that he featured the guitar in the video for Queen’s “Headlong" single).
By 1964, Brian and Dave Dilloway were already recording amateur duets together, and by linking up their two reel-to-reel tape docks, they discovered that they could lay down guitars on one machine, and perhaps bass, percussion and sometimes vocals on the other. Although the technique was crude, and despite the occasional disaster, the effect was often surprisingly good. One of the earliest tapes from these primitive recording sessions survives to this day, and features Brian belting out Bo Diddley’s eponymous R&B standard, "Bo Diddley".
“This is a mono quarter-inch, reel-to-reel I found buried among various other oddments from the era”,  recalls Dave Dilloway. “It certanly dates from before the formation of 1984. It was recorded in Brian’s back room in Feltham, with Brian on lead vocals and guitar, and myself on bass and drums. The track is basic, but Brian’s vocals are clear and recognisable. The guitar playing is fairly basic as well, but competent, without any real solos as such”.
“ This is the only tape in my collection of those double-track recordings. I’m unsure whether Brian himself has retained the tapes we made at the time, but I believe he usually ended up with the finished versions, so he may still heve them somewhere.”
 The duo also recorded four-track instru­mental cover versions of several Shadows tunes — “Apache”, “FBI”, "Wonderful Land” and "The Rise  And Fall Of Fingel Blunt” — as well as “Rambunkshush”, which they learned from the Shadows’ American counterparts, The Ventures.  Also on the same tape is their reading of Chet Atkins' “Windy And Warm".
 Yet another reel reveals an attempt at Cliff Richard’s "Bachelor Boy", on which Brian, once again, takes the lead vocal. Dave Dilloway's theory is probably correctt; May is known to have a meticulously catalogued personal collection of Queen (and pre-Queen) recordings and memorabilia, which almost certanlly contains unfathomable reels of similar early material.
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In the autumn of 1964, Brian and Dave formed a rapidly-evolving band, through which many schoolmates passed, but which eventually settled with a line-up of bassist John 'Jag' Garnham, drummer Richard Thompson, and harmonica-playing vocalist Tim Staffell. After rejecting names such as the Mind Boggles and Bob Chappy & the Beetles, the quintet named themselves after George Orwell’s futuristic novel ‘1984’. Their look was far from sci-fi, however, and they happily adopted the classic, clean-cut beat- group look of the day: jackets, or in Brian's case a cardigan, and narrow trousers; and beat boots. Tim Staffell even acquired that year’s fashion accessory, a pork-pie hat.
The band rehearsed regularly at Chase Bridge Primary School Hall in Twickenham (located next to the rugby ground), and on the 28th October 1964, gave their first public performance at the nearby St. Mary’s Church Hall. It is believed that either one of the rehearsals, or the gig itself, was recorded, but unfortunately, no tape of this debut, perform­ance has survived the years. Although 1984 recorded almost all of their live concerts for their own critical appraisal, to save on the expense of new tape they often wiped over old reels once they’d listened to them. Nevertheless, evidence of Brian May playing live does survive from this period, and the earliest example dates from an unknown gig (Shepperton Rowing Club is the favoured consensus), recorded in late 1965. This wasn’t a 1984 performance, but rather an ad-hoc trio comprising Brian May on bass and vocals, Pete ‘Woolly’ Hammerton (a school friend of Brian’s) on guitar and vocals, and 1984's Richard Thompson on drums. The tape reveals the trio turning in versions of Martha & the Vandellas’ “Dancing In The Street", the Beatles' “Eight Days A Week”, “I’m Taking Her Home” — a song by the group Woolly later joined, the Others — and a brave attempt at the Who’s "My Generation".
The Others comprised older boys from Hampton School, who in October 1964 had issued a single of their abrasive reading of Bo Diddley’s “Oh Yeah", backed by “I’m Taking Her Home", on Fontana (TF 501). “That was good!" claims singer, Tim Staffell. “I’ve still got that record buried somewhere deep in my mind — I remember the singer, Paul Stewart's voice and the quality of the guitar sound. The Others were a pretty significant influence. Maybe not in terms of the music, more in the sense that they were already doing it, which proved it was possible."
As evidenced by the photograph included in this feature, the Others clearly had attitude, something which 1984, or Tim Staffell at least, could only aspire to “If I had tried to push 1984 in any direction," reveals Tim, “then that would have been it. Without hearing any of these tapes of our band — and I didn't even know they existed! — l’d say we probably sounded a lot safer than the Others. Mind you, they were different to us. Their guitar style was very much inspired by American R&B, whereas Brian’s never was. Brian was a unique guitar player: he was able to extemporise a much more original way than most guitar players could. I hope he’ll forgive me for saying so, but I never perceived him as having the dangerous image which was necessary at the time — the cardigan says it all!.
LIGHTWEIGHT
“In retrospect, 1984 was lightweight, a bit fluffy”  concedes Tim. “It was impossible not to be naively ambitious — that was part and parcel of it — and the primary motivation to do it was what we saw in the media as the end results of success. But I guess we were realistic about it — we were at school, after all. Also there was a good deal of pressure in the 60s from our parents, and the conser­vative generation, to conform."
Although a version of “I’m Taking Her Home” by 1984 was captured live on the Shepperton tape, and Brian occasionally guested with the Others on stage, it's worth stating once and for all that — despite the persistent rumours — he definitely doesn’t feature on "Oh Yeah".  In fact, Pete ‘Woolly' Hammerton doesn't even play on the record — he only joined the band formally later on.
In the autumn of 1965, leaving Hampton Grammar with no fewer than four 'A' Levels and ten ‘O’ levels, Brian enrolled at Imperial College in Kensington, London, to read physics and infra-red astronomy. Before breaking up for the Christmas holidays that year, he played the first in a series of gigs with 1984 at the college, a tradition he continued later with Smile, and in their formative days with Queen. Although the exact date of the event has long since been forgotten, a very poor- quality tape still exists of 1984‘s college debut. The set was a typical one, comprising the group’s broad blend of pop, R&B and soul covers, and included the following songs: “Cool Jerk" (originally by the Capitols), ‘Respect" (Otis Redding), "My Girl" (the Temptations), “Shake" (Sam Cooke), “Stepping Stone" (the Monkees), “You Keep Me Hanging On" (the Supremes), “Whatcha Gonna Do Ahout it" ( Small Faces), “Substitute” (the Who), “How Can It Be” (the B-side of the Birds’ final single, “No Good Without You Baby”), “Danc­ing In The Street", “Dream" (Everly Brothers) and the Small Faces’ "Sha La La La Lee".
“Our repertoire was a little too eclectic to have developed into any particular style” reckons Tim Staffell. “But the Small Faces were quite influential. When we were at school, the songs were dredged from all sorts of areas. I’d always liked rhythm’n’blues. Brian’s input would have been Beatles-orientated, Dave’s as well. Richard Thompson would have been more into R&B, and Jag didn't really have an agenda as far as songs were concerned. Because of the nature of the material we covered, our approach to the gigs was almost schoollboy cabaret. 1984 was not a dangerous, moody rock band! Which may have something to do with the way Queen evolved."
1984 oponed 1966 with a couple of gigs at the Thames Rowing CIub in Putney; and once again, a tape recorder was set up to document the group’s progress. Two reels from January that year exist: the first is dated the 15th, and features “Im A Loser” (the Beatles), “I Wish You Would" ( the Yardbirds), “I Feel Fine" (the Beatles), “Little Egypt" (the Coasters), "Lucille” (Little Richard), “Too Much Monkey Business" (Chuck Berry), "I Got My Mojo Working” (Muddy Waters), "WalkingThe Dog” ( Rufus Thomas) and “Heart Full Of Soul" (the Yardbirds).
The second, dated two weeks later (29th January), demonstrates the great variety and confidence of a band which consistently renewed its repertoire. The show began with Jimmy Reed’s  “Bright Lights, Big City", moving into the Cookies' “Chains" (popularised by the Beatles), “Walking The Dog", “Lucille", “Our Little Rendezvous" (Chuck Berry), “Jack O’ Diamonds" (Blind Lemon... (cont)
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(cont) Jefferson, popularised by Lonnie Donegan), “I’ve Got My Mojo Working”, “Little Egypt" and Bo Diddley’s “I’m A Man”. The band’s finale was a versión of Sonny Boy Williamson’s "Bye Bye Bird".
For an amateur band with little real pretension towards stardom, or even a serious attempt at securing a recording contract, a staggering amount of live 1984 material has been preserved on tape. Dave Dilloway, for instance, is the guardian of a seven-inch reel-to-reel, which he says reveals either a very long performance or a compilation of various unknown dates.
Either way, the tape is divided into five distinct sections, which might make tedious reading, but is an invaluable reference: 1) “Route 66", (unknown instrumental), “I’m Taking Her Home", “Too Much Monkey Business’, “Yesterday" (featuring Brian May on lead vocals), “Walking The Dog", and “ Lucille"; 2) “Little Rendezvous", "Keep On Running”, “I Feel Fine”, “Walking The Dog”, “Jack O’ Diamonds", “High Heeled Sneakers", “I Want To Hold Your Hand", “I Got My Mojo Working*, and “I Should Have Known Better”; 3) “Little Rendezvous", “Jump Back Baby Jump Back", “I Feel Fine”, “Bye Bye Bird", “Little Egypt", “Crazy House". “Lucille”, “Oh Yeah”, “Heatwave”, “Too Much Monkey Business", “I Should Have Known Better", and “I Got My Mojo Working"; 4) “My Generation", “Little Egypt", “Dancing In The Street", “Whatcha Gonna Do About It", “I’m A Man", “Heatwave", “Lucille", and “Bye Bye Bird"; and 5) “Heart Full Of Soul", “Too Much Monkey Business”, “Something’s Got A Hold On Me", “Keep On Running", “My Generation", "Tired Of Waiting", “Bright Lights. Big City" and “Happy Hendrick’s Polka".
“These are all domestic quality, single microphone recordings of early-era 1984", reveals Dave Dilloway. “It's mostly bluesy material, with some soul and Beatles songs. While the quality is basic, the sound is intelligible, although there isn’t a large amount of identifiable Brian guitarwork. That came later in the band's history, when we included covers of Crearn and Hendrix. Brian's solo vocals on 'Yesterday' (on the first segment) are quite clear, however."
For much of 1966, the band carried on in a similar vein — Brian's and the others' college work permitting, of course. For Brian May and his unsigned, Twickenham-based covers band, the highlight of the following year, 1967, was undoubtedly the gig he secured via through his contacts at the college — supporting Jimi Hendrix at Imperial. The date was 13th May, the day after the release of Hendrix's debut, “Are You Experienced". Brian May idolised Hendrix to such an extent that he'd been nicknamed “Brimi" — a combination of the two guitarists' names—so although 1984 had seen him perform before, it goes without saying they were thrilled when backstage, they actually bumped into the ascending star as they filed past his dressing-room. It’s a familar story, but it's one worth repeating: Jimi enquired memorably, “Which way’s the stage, man?*.
BLOSSOMED
1984's act had certainly blossomed by this point. Their attire was now obligatory Swinging London — or Swinging Middlesex — fare: frilly shirts, Regency jackets, striped hipsters secured with a white belt, and hairtyles extending inexorably over the ears, and indeed the eyes. “Somewhere along the line, there was an external influence there", says Tim Staffell. “There was someone calling the shots. I don’t think all that was self-motivated. It’s something I’ve never been comfortable with, which explains why I split away from it early on — certainly from Smile onwards — because it was going that way; as indeed it ended up with Queen. It's fair enough, but that sort of flamboyance is just not me. I look fairly uncomfortable in the picture of the band from that period. My idea of a rock musician is one with hair down his back, a dirty pair of Levi's on, looking at the floor, thoroughly unconcerned with the visual and external trappings, playing the most extraordinary virtuoso guitar. That was my attitude."
Back in February 1967, Brian’s local paper, the ‘Middlesex Chronicle’ caught up with the band, and captured Tim Staffell in an equally decisive mood; although here, he was more enthusiastic about the latest trend. "Psychodelic music is certainly here to stay”~he claimed. "It makes more of music than mere sound, it makes it a whole and complete art form." Dave Dilloway, who also handled the group's light show, added: “We use everything in our act, including things like shaving foam, and plastic bricks we throw around”.
The ‘Chronicle’ was obviously impressed, and its reporter had this to say about a per­formance by what it called “one of the most foward-looking groups today". “Standards, like ‘Heatwave' receive a very original treatment, mostly due to the sounds that Brian coaxes out of his guitar. Jazz chords and electronic sounds add feeling and nuance to numbers that are often churned out wholesale. Using two bass drums for a fuller sound, Richard's drumming, combined with the full bass riffs of Dave and the steady (rhythm guitar) work of John, provides a firm basis for experiments in sound — an opportunity which is not wasted."
“To be quite honest with you, there’s more substance in the literary content there, than in the musical," laughs Tim Staffell. "If some­one genuinely thought that, then I'm surprised! Brian might have used a fuzz-box. but generally, it was au naturel. I remember in the Smile days, somebody wrote about ‘humming chords of wonder’, referring to my bass playing. The reality of it was that sometimes I did try and play chords on the bass guitar, which might have come out as a deep-throated roar, but actually sounded like a load of crap!"
“We did use to tickle about with a few lights, suggests Dave Dilloway, “but being a local band, money was tight and there wasn’t a fortune to spend on the band." As to 1984's psychodelic sound, Dave adds: “Brian did use a bit of fuzz, yes, and Pink Floyd influences and a bit of screaming guitar. He’d actually built a fuzz box into his guitar, which was fairly unique for the day, but typical Brian. If you look carefully at recent pictures of his “Red Special” you can see the fuzz switch taped over."
In September 1967, no doubt boosted by their praise — sincere or not — in the local press, the continuing evidence of their per­formance tapes and their recent Hendrix support slot, 1984 entered the local beats of a battle-of-the-bands competition at the Top...[ ]
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...[ ] Rank Club in Croydon, just south of London. Effectively a promotion for Scotch tape, en­trance to the contest could only be secured via a demo recorded on a Scotch reel. 1984’s effort duly arrived in the form of a two-track master, featuring covers of Marvin Gaye's “Ain’t That Peculiar?" and the Everly Brothers’ “Crying ln The Rain" (on stage, both tracks were usually enhanced by characteristic Brian May guitar solos, but conservatism prevailed, and they were absent in this instance). A copy of this recording still survives, carefully guarded by the custodian of the 1984 archive. “This tape is a quarter-inch, mono reel-to-reel," re­calIs Dave Dilloway. “Tim took lead vocals on 'Ain't That Peculiar?’, and Tim and Brian duetted on ’Crying ln The Rain’. Brian's vocal style and tone can be clearly discerned, if one knows his voice. The songs were recorded in single takes, using a single microphone fed directly to the recorder. There was no mix facility so it has a ‘live' feel, a very good clean sound”. 
The mix was achieved using the old fashioned technique of microphone position and relative volume levels of the amplified Instruments. “As far as I am aware, only the one (master) copy of this tape exists.”
As has been well-documented, after two sets at the competition (one of which saw Brian, Dave, John Garnham and drummer Richard Thompson acting as the back-up band for a singer called Lisa Perez), 1984 won the contest, and walked away with a reel of blank tape (Scotch, of course) and an album each on the CBS label. (Tim took the top prize, Simon & Garfunkel’s “Sounds Of Silence", Brian had to make do with a Barbra Streisand LP, and Dave Dilloway became the proud owner of an album by Irish bandleader Tommy Makem!). More importantly, their demo tape was forwarded to the CBS A&R department for the national showdown, although, clearly, they didn’t win.
True to form, 1984's performance that evening was committed to tape — for an unpublished review by ‘Melody’ Maker, no less — but was probably erased shortly afterwards. The twenty-minute set consisted of the Everlys’ "So Sad", Hendrix’s “Stone Free”, Buddy Knox’s “She’s Gone" and Eddie Floyd's “Knock On Wood". After the gig, the band were invited by a visiting promotor to participate in the all-night gala event which has since gone down as one of the key gigs of the London underground scene: Christmas On Earth Continued, at London's Olympia Theatre, on December 23rd 1967. 1984 was the lowest pro­file act at this decidedly high-profile event, and after Jimi Hendrix, Traffic, Pink Floyd, the Herd, and Tyrannosaurus Rex had all taken to the stage, they only got to perform their humble set of covers at 5 o’clock in the morning. When Brian finally plugged in his ‘Red Special’, 1984 played a thirty-minute set to a very small, and less than enthusiastic, audience.
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Also from 1967, and of far more interest, is 1984′s professionally-recorded Thames Television demo tape. During his first-year of study at Twickenham Technical College, Dave Dilloway had made friends with a number of technicians, or trainee technicians, at the Teddington-based ITV company which served the London area. The station had recently invested in new recording equipment, and rather than hire professional musicians at the usual union rate, in a set up similar to the first Queen sessions at the De Lane Lea studios, 1984 were let loose in the studio to record at their leisure. Dave Dilloway's carefully preserved tape still plays perfectly, and includes the following songs: "Hold On I’m Corning", “Knock On Wood“, “NSU", *How Can It Be”, two early run-throughs of the original May/ Staffell composition “Step On Me” (which eventually became the B- side to Smile's “Earth"), “Purple Haze", “Our Love Is Driftin* ”, and medleys of “Remember”/”Sweet Wine" and “Get Out My Life Woman”/ ”Satisfaction". The session ended with a run-through of "My Girl”.
AMALGAM
"What an extraordinary amalgam!" declares Tim Staffell today. “There’s Tamla, Cream, Hendrix, Lee Dorsey . . ‘Our Love Is Driftin' we’d have heard by Paul Butterfield. I’d forgotten there was such a large soul component in 1984!".
Dave Dilloway has the technical details: “This tape is the most re­cent, best and most representative of 1984 that I'm aware of. It is mono, but since it was made on good quality TV studio equipment and was carried out along the lines of a proper studio recording, with separately-mixed microphones for each source, it is remarkably good quality for its age. The material, except for ‘Step On Me', is aII cover versions, but as it dates from the late 1984 era, Brian’s playing is more prominent and effective, with his own style starting to show through. All the performances are competent — particularly Tim’s vocals and Brian's guitar; although the mix is a little heavy on John's rhythm guitar for some reason, probably the ‘ear’ of the recording engineer at the time. All tracks were laid down in one take, i.e., no overdubbing at all, so the sound is predominantly simple, as per our live versions."
And that was 1984′s swansong. In the spring of 1968, shortly afler the Thames recording, mainly due to the pressures of infrequent meetings and university studies — coupled with increasing musical differences — 1984 scaled down their operations drastically. Brian May left the band, and Tim Staffell took over on lead guitar for a while. A little later, Tim himself quit, leaving Dave Dilloway, John Garnham and Richard Thompson to rebuild the group, which soldiered on into the 70′s, content merely to play for fun. They all conceded that 1984 had been a good, solid, and popular local band, but that it didn’t have the necessary spark or originality to transform into a great one.
The Left Handed Marriage
ln the summer of 1965, in another corner of Hampton Grammar School, Brian May’s old friend Bill Richards (who had been a fleeting, early member of 1984 before it acquired its futuristic name), and his colleagues Jenny Hill (née Rusbridge), Henry Deval and Terry Goulds, formed a folk-rock band called the Left-Handed Marriage, named after an archaic form of marrying beneath oneself. By January 1967, the quartet had progressed to the point where they had issued their own privately-pressed album, “On The Right Side Of The Left Handed Marriage", which ran to just fifty copies (and, incidentally, has since acquired cult status among collectors, with a £600 price tag to match).
Although naturally familiar with the al­bum, Brian May as yet had not been involved with the band. That changed in March 1967, after Bill signed a twelve-month contract with EMI's music publishing company Ardmore & Beechwood — a deal secured through the efforts of Brian Henderson, a former member of Edinburgh beat outfit the Mark Five, and more recently, the bassist in Patrick Campbell- Lyons' 60′s psychodelic band, Nirvana. Bill approached Brian to help him create a “fuller" sound for the Left Handed Marriage, with a request to provide guitar and backing vocals on some recording sessions.
On the understanding that the project wouldn’t interfere with his commitment to 1984, Brian agreed. On 4th April 1967, he joined Jenny, Henry, Terry and Bill in AMC Sound, an amateur studio in Manor Road, Twickenham, to record four songs: “Give Me Time” (later changed to “I Need Time"), "She Was Once My Friend", “Sugar Lump Girl” and “Yours Sincerely” (which was basically “Give Me Time" backwards, with new lyrics pinched from the Russian author Pushkin).
The songs were all cleanly-recorded, melodic atempts at 1967 pop (despite the Left Handed Marriage's later classification, there's little actual folk music in evidence). “She Was Once My Friend" is the pick of the bunch, thanks to its Kinks-like structure — complete with Bill Richard's/ Ray Davies-soundalike vocal and, albeit way down in the mix, flashes of that distinctive Brian May 'Red Special’ guitar sound. Acetates of the AMC EP were cut, and the idea had been to release the songs as a commercial EP.  Instead, the set merely became the Left Handed Marriage’s first demo for their publishers, although it did lead to the offer to record at a more professional session — at EMI’s prestigious Abbey Road studios.
The Abbey Road session took place on 28th June 1967, when Left Handed Marriage were joined by Brian and 1984′s Dave Dilloway, who was drafted in to play bass. Two further tracks were cut: the reworked “I Need Time",...[ ]
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...[ ] and a new song called “Appointment". At this stage, there was more talk of issuing a record, this time a single, and a release date of August was even discussed. This never materialised either, and again 7″ acetates are all that remain.
Although Ardmore & Beechwood were pleased with the results, they still thought the Left Handed Marriage could improve their sound even further, and on 31st July 1967, they booked the band into another studio, this time Regent Sound in central London. As Dave Dilloway was not available, another friend, John Frankel, was called upon to play bass and piano. The eight-track Regent Sound ma­chine was something of a technological marvel, and the session was flawlessly recorded, resulting in new versions of “I Need Time”, “She Was Once My Friend" (which also remixed and edited for the abandoned single), and "Appointment".
Despite the studio quality of the tape, Ardmore & Beechwood failed to place the songs with a record label, and like so many groups before and since, the Left Handed Marriage quietly disappeared from view. It was left to frontman Bill Richards belatedly to issue the fruits of this last session, when in February 1993, he tagged the three Regent Sound recordings — the final mix of “I Need Time”, the abridged version of “She Was Once A Friend Of Mine” and the final mix of “Appointment” — onto the end of “Crazy Chain”, a CD recorded by the reformed Left Handed Marriage, which itself was prompted by collector's interest in the group’s original 1967 LP,  “The Right Hand Side Of...” . Most of the master tapes for the LHM recordings featuring Brian May have Iong since disappeared along with the Regent Sound studio, and (with the exception of "She Was Once My Friend") the Richards/May collaborations on the CD were digitally remastered from acetates.
RECORD COLLECTOR Nº 195, NOVEMBER 1995
➡NEXT: ROGER TAYLOR’S REACTION 
@natromanxoff, @mephisto92, @moviestorian,  @39-brian,  @an-abyss-called-life, @his-majesty-king-mercury, @x5vale  @onegoldenglance  @i-live-for-queen, @brian-39-may, @toomuchlove-willkillyou, @brimaymay, @sail-away-sweet-sister, @briianmaay,  @inui-mycroft @brianmayislongaway, @balticlover, @astrophysicist-guitar-god, @miez-lakatz, @brianmayoucease, @jesus-in-a-life-boat, @drummerqueenrmt, @iminlovewithrogscar @roger-taylors-car, @crosmopolitan​ @silapril, @sherrifanciesfriskyfreddie @tenderbri, @brianmydear, @thosequeenboys, @millionairewaltz-carpediem, @painandpleasure86, @bribrifrenchfry, @xlucylennonx, @a-night-at-the-abbey-road, @inthedayswhenlandswerefew, @madformeddowstaylor, @drowseoftaylor @queenrogertaylorfan, @let-roger-get-a-lunch, @queen-for-life, @rethought​, @mymakeupmaybeflaking​, @old-but-still-a-child​, @let-roger-get-a-lunch​, @warriorteam1924​, @funnydressesweirdhairanddance​, @painkiller80​, @thefanhuman13​, @yourtieddownmother​, @hgmercury39​, @brimi-stardust​, @thefairyfellermercury​,  @retroromantics​, @sailawaysweetbrimi​, @sophiaintheskywithdiamonds​, @deacytits​@rhysjoejoshtomfarisblog​, @holybrianmaywritingbear​, @lydiannode​, @39-yellow-daffodils​ , @ure-gonna-loveme-when-u-seeme​, @kaykaybeachgirl​, @foxmonkey​, @saik-ava​, @deakysgurl​, @redspecialandclogsandcurls​, @briansrainbowsocks​, @delilahmay39​, @ohmybribri​, @bless-the-queen​, @infunitehearbeat​, @sketchiesscketches​,  @everythingaboutfreddie​, @doitforthevine67​, @recordsoftheseventies​, @tenementfunsterwithpurpleshoes​, @drummah-in-a-rocknroll-band​, @beatlegirl1968​, @maylorsqueen​, @shearrehartatacc​, @gralto​, @alittlepeoplemagic​, @rainbowsockbrian​, @frejudy​, @drivenbybri​, @yourlocalmusicalprostitute​, @omb-xx​, @sassymaylor​, @somekindofroger​, @starlightmay​, @rhysjoejoshtomfarisblog, @freddiemercuryismylife​, @sunshine112​, @chrysochromulina​ @glitteryloveravenue​, @deakyislife51​, @0-primejive-0​, @just-a-skinny-lad​, @drivenbybrianmay​
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songtoyou · 4 years
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Chapter 2: First Meeting
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Tolerate It
Paring: Modern!Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character
Story Rating: R (No minors should read this fic).
Word Count: 2,778
Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault. Sexual activity between two consenting adults.
Description: Tommy Shelby is the owner and CEO of Shelby Company Limited. Starting out as a Bookmaker, Tommy had big ideas to expand his riches. In the past ten years, the company has grown rapidly to expand its business ventures from bars to producing alcohol, manufacturing motor vehicle parts, and exporting. One of the richest men in Great Britain, Tommy Shelby, has it all. Unfortunately, the death of his wife, Grace, left the multi-millionaire mogul alone and depressed. He needed someone to fulfill his needs and deepest darkest desires.
A/N: Again, the response to this fic has been wonderful. We learn more about Rose and find out why Lizzie left. Rose meets Tommy for the first time and begins the process of solidifying their arrangement. 
Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.
Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people actually like this fic. 
I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.
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Saturday rolled faster than a blink of an eye. Rose was not nervous about tonight's meeting with her new client. A part of her was looking forward to it. Taking the time to look up Tommy Shelby on the Internet, Rose found out more about the man she would be possibly spending most of her time around. His backstory was interesting. The man started from nothing. It was no wonder Tommy was a massive celebrity within the business community. Inspiring entrepreneurs looked up to him and how he accumulated his wealth.
Rose was aware that Tommy's business practices were not always ethical, just like she knew that Alfie, Luca, and her other clients all dealt in questionable behavior to stay ahead of the game. It was like these guys did not know that the 1920s were long gone, and their little gangs should have considered obsolete in these present times. But it was not her job to question them as part of her did not care. All Rose wanted was to get paid and have a little pleasure herself once in a while. She hoped Tommy was good in bed as Lizzie mentioned he was. She had no reason not to believe her former coworker. 
It was a terrible incident at the club that made Lizzie leave for good. All because of Oswald Mosley and his sick and deviant behavior. Oswald was a Member of Parliament for South Staffordshire and the youngest member of the Conservative party. His influence within the party continued to gain strength as the young politician expressed his outlandish views that tended to lean towards fascism. Many other MPs have tried to rebuke Mosley's power but to no avail. His supporters only rallied behind him more. He was garnering more attention and enthusiasm to start his very own nationalist party within Great Britain. This idea worried many other MPs, even within the Conservative Party.
As Mosley's profile continued to rise, he found himself needing a form of release. It did not take long for him to receive an invitation to join Excelsior. Politicians were another form of clientele for the club. However, word soon spread about Mosley's odd behavior with the girls. The man had a weird fetish for rape and sexual assault fantasies. Not many girls wanted to partake in that act. Rose quickly passed on having Mosley as one of her clients since non-consensual/dubious consent was not something she gravitated towards when it came to pleasure.
Some of the girls confided in Rose they felt after being with Mosley. Many were scared to inform Izabella or Tatiana in fear of getting fired. Unfortunately, it took the incident with Lizzie that left her brutally scarred, both physically and psychologically, to have Mosley permanently banned from Excelsior. What made it worse was that no one could do anything to Mosley outside the club, no police reports, no arrests, nothing. He was too powerful.
The only thing Lizzie said to Rose was that Mosley took it too far and that she was rethinking her time at the club. When Lizzie did not show up for three days, Rose knew that she left the life of escorting for good.
Giving herself one last look in the mirror, Rose opted for the wine-colored long drape dress, with a silver belt to extenuate her hips, and topped it off with silver ankle strap heels. Satisfied with how she looked, Rose grabbed her clutch (silver as well) and walked towards the front door.
"Mom, you are coming home later, right?" asked Louis as he sat in the living room watching television.
"Uh…probably won't be home until late. I'm simply hanging out with the girls. Don't wait up, sweetie," said Rose kissing her son on the top of his head.
"Aren't you a little too dressed up for a girl's night out?"
"Louis, darling, here is some advice about women. We like to look nice now and then. It makes us feel good. So, don't ever question why your mummy is all dolled up, okay. The girls and I are celebrating Ellie's promotion at the firm. That is all. Now, do not stay up too late. See you later, love."
"Bye, mum."
Rose hated lying to her son, but there was no way she would ever reveal the truth to him about how they could afford their lifestyle.
As a teen mom, Rose worked tirelessly from different part-time jobs to get food on the table. She was tired of struggling to make ends meet. Rose wanted more for her son. By Rose's mid-twenties, she bit the bullet and became an exotic dancer. The nerves and humiliation wore off quickly when Rose counted her tips. It was the most she had ever made and all in one night. She had no intentions of ever becoming a high-end call girl. But again, the money proved to be too good to pass up. It also helped the Duchess and Princess give their girls some sense of agency and control over what they do and partake in certain activities. Rose's clients did not seem to understand or realize that she held all of the power. She was not a puppet, nor was she naïve.
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Tommy continued to check his watch every fifteen minutes. Rose was not late by any means; it was merely a habit. It gave him something to do since he was not allowed to smoke at The Savoy. He instructed Rose to meet at the hotel's bar and restaurant at precisely 9:00 p.m.
He was not nervous as Tommy Shelby did not get nervous. He wanted to get the night started. The man needed some release.
"Mr. Shelby," spoke the hostess. "I have a Miss Turner here to see you."
"Yes, thank you. Send Miss Turner over, please," ordered Tommy and downed his glass of Irish whiskey in one gulp.
For a second, Tommy thought he forgot how to breathe when he saw Rose walk towards him. He would not deny that she was breathtakingly beautiful.
"Mr. Shelby," she greeted him with a quick kiss on his cheek. Thankfully, no lipstick residue on his face. Men hated when that happened, Rose learned.
"Miss Turner. It is a pleasure to meet you in person finally," said Tommy as he helped Rose into her seat. He could be a gentleman when he wanted to be one.  His Aunt Polly raised him right.
After giving her drink order to the waiter and a refill for Tommy, the two were left alone for the time being. Unsure of where the conversation should start, Rose chose to cut to the chase.
"How do you want tonight to go, exactly? Are we here to talk about, I don't know what you call it, our agreement, our arrangement? Or should we…"
"I say we talk about what we like and don't like," Tommy cut Rose off.
When the waiter brought their drinks, Rose took a sip of her white wine, while Tommy sipped his whiskey.
"My file should have included my interests. What I will and won't do with a man," Rose reminded him.
"Indeed, it did, but a file can only tell me so much. I would rather hear it from you, Miss Turner. So, tell me, what gets you off?" asked Tommy in a low voice as he leaned over the table. Thankfully, the two were at a back corner table with no other patrons around.
Taking another sip of her wine, Rose leaned in as well. "I like being dominated. From your file, you like being the dominant one. I like being tied up, gagged, and made to cum over and over again until I can't take it anymore. Orgasm denial, I like that as well—humiliation or degradation, whatever you want to call it. I don't care for that at all. It has never turned me on."
"What about pain? What is your pain threshold?" Tommy questioned.
"Pretty high."
"So, nipple clamps, whips, floggers…none of that bothers you?"
Rose shook her head 'no' and asked Tommy what kinds of punishment he prefers.
"Spankings with my bare hands and edging. Punishments only occur if I deem you being bratty or don't follow my rules."
Rose nodded, indicating she understood. "Pretty standard forms of punishment for a dominant."
The waiter stopped by again, asking if they wanted another drink or order some food. "I'm okay, thank you," said Rose.
"I liked to order champagne for our room, please," Tommy requested and told the waiter his room number. Rose was not surprised that he was in one of the hotel's suites. On different occasions, she had been to The Savoy Hotel, mostly with her other clients for leisurely visits now and then when they called for her services.
Taking another sip of her drink, Rose started to feel unsure to ask Tommy next. "Is there anything particular that you like or don't like?"
Gulping down his whiskey once again, Tommy stood up from his seat and helped you out of yours.
"Let's head up, and I can show you what I like. You can take your drink with you," mentioned Tommy buttoning up his suit jacket.
Rose gulped down her wine and grabbed her purse. "No need. I'm ready," she said and looped her arm around his. Tommy kept his strides short throughout the walk to the elevator. Rose noticed how the other hotel patrons all seemed to fawn over the man she was with while the employees moved out of his way. Rose found it amusing when in the elevator the people who were already in quickly left, leaving them alone on the ride up to his suit.
"People go out of their way to accommodate you, don't they, Mr. Shelby. Must be nice to have all that power over others," Rose stated admiringly.
Tommy smirked and looked at Rose, "When you come from nothing, you work extra hard to achieve everything, even peoples' fear of you. What about you? Must you find it exhilarating to have powerful men at your fingertips? I would not be shocked that once your clients and I told Tatiana that I have an idea of who they are, well, they are not going to be happy about losing you to me. I have a lot of enemies, Miss Turner, but rest assure that while you are in my company, you will be safe and protected."
The elevator dinged indicated they made it to their destination. Leading the way once again, Tommy steered them down the hall and stopped at the door of his suite. Once he got Rose inside, he took off his suit jacket and opened the doors to the balcony where he could finally get his nicotine fix. He offered one to Rose, but she declined. Tommy watched as Rose looked around the suite. He took this time to look at the woman before him; she would not be deemed the model-type with her 5'7 stature, nor was she skin and bones. Dark brown hair ran past her shoulders, and her skin had a lovely complexion. Tommy took one last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out on the balcony.
He slowly walked up behind Rose and wrapped his strong arms around, inhaling her scent; he began to grind himself against her backside. Rose promptly reciprocated and matched his rhythm. Trailing kisses down Rose's neck, Tommy moved his hands to squeeze her breasts. He quickly turned her around and began kissing her on the mouth. His dominant side was finally allowed to be released.
When Rose pulled away, it took Tommy by surprise. When he began to pull Rose back towards him, she put her hands on his chest. "I need to freshen up first, is that okay?"
Letting out a sigh, Tommy motioned her towards the bathroom. "I won't be long; I promise," assured Rose. Once in the bathroom, she began to take off her heels and dress. She hung her dress on the door hook, placed her heels to the side, and then looked herself over in the mirror. Smoothing out her hair, Rose dug in her clutch to quickly check her phone. No messages from her son. Now, Rose would be able to focus on the task at hand entirely.
Rose exited the bathroom to see Tommy waiting for her on the couch, no longer wearing his tie and vest, shirt partly unbuttoned. She walked towards him, where he indicated he wanted Rose on her knees. Spreading his legs, Rose kneeled and began unzipping his pants, reaching for his hardened member and gave it a few strokes. She looked up to see Tommy stretch and lay his head back against the couch, indicated he was comfortable and was ready for Rose to begin. Rose licked her lips and opened her mouth to take him in as much as far as possible. Rose did not stop until she felt him at the back of her throat.
Rose pulled away for a second to lick off the precum of Tommy's dick before proceeding to lick the entire length. She went back to sucking once Tommy put his hand in her hair. He bobbed her head back and forth at a fast pace. Tommy felt like he was about to explode his load in Rose's mouth he backed off. Rose took the time to catch her breath. She watched as Tommy took off his shirt and got up from the couch.
"Up," he ordered, and Rose followed obediently.
She never took her eyes off Tommy while he walked to the bedroom.
"Take this off," Tommy ordered, indicating he wanted her bra off.
Once again, Rose followed his orders. She tossed the bra to the side, and Tommy walked closer to her. He reached for her breast and began to squeeze them, tugging on her nipples. When he started to pull her nipples extra hard, Rose let out a little squeak.
"Too hard?" Tommy asked and released his tight grip.
"No. I mean, it hurts, but it feels good too," Rose answered truthfully.
Tommy once again started pulling on her nipples as hard as he could without hurting Rose too much. He pressed his lips against hers. Rose quickly reciprocated the action and ran her hands through his hair. Backing Rose towards the bed, he lightly pushed her, where she softly plopped down. Tugging her underwear down, Tommy tossed them to the side and ran a finger up-and-down her folds.
"Wet, as I expected. Let me see how many fingers you can take, shall we," amused Tommy and slipped, not one, but two fingers inside Rose. He soon began pumping his fingers in and out.
He kept going while Rose emitted more moans from her mouth. She was panting and getting closer to needing release. But she knew a sweet release would not come easy. No, Tommy was going to have Rose work for it. She was about the beg to cum when Tommy pulled his fingers out of her cunt.
Tracing his thumb against her clit, Rose let out a squeal at the new feeling. Tommy smirked. That feeling of control, control over this woman's body, it's what made Tommy feel at ease. It allowed for his head to feel clear. Tommy did not have to worry about business deals or rival gangs; instead, his focus was all on the woman before him writhing in pleasure.
Inserting his fingers back in her cunt, Tommy added a third finger this time. Rose sat up on her elbows to watch Tommy. She saw the looked of deep concentration on his face. When he reached that spot, Rose jerked up, and Tommy used his free hand to push her back down on the bed.
"I'm going to cum. I need to cum," Rose panted out, but Tommy kept going.
"Not yet," he merely said. "You do not cum until I say you can, understood." It was an order, not a question.
"Yes…yes sir," Rose managed to say. She did not know how long she would last.
"Cum!" Tommy commanded and Rose more than happily followed it.
Pure bliss is all Rose felt until Tommy pried her mouth open with the fingers that were in her.
"Lick them clean for me, love. Taste yourself."
When she licked his fingers clean, Tommy took off his pants and underwear. He crawled on top of Rose and began kissing her stomach, each breast, her neck, and finally lips.
"You're not tired out yet, are you love?" he asked her.
When Rose shook her head no, Tommy leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Good. It is going to be a long night for you."
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indecisive-v · 3 years
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NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)
and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin
Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward
A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!
Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?
A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.
Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?
A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.
We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.
Q: 1. how was your day
2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown
A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.
up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue
Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market
A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!
Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular
A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF
Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.
I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?
A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat
Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.
A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!
Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.
A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!
not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.
Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.
A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.
Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!
Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?
A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me
Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?
A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.
pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob
Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?
A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.
the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it
Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play
A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)
the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.
i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted
Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?
A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.
Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?
A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.
Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)
A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!
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Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?
A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.
Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc
A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development
Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?
A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept
Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?
A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat
disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin
Q: Will the game have dlc?
A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.
if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates
Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?
A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals
about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov
and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!
quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.
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beeshavethrees · 7 years
Note
I jusr found your blog, I'm very curious about your jamilton au with the winged!Alex. How does your AU work?
TL;DR: Alexander is an ezfi (person with wings) who is snatched away from his home and sent to New York City. There, he’s auctioned off and sold to Thomas. At the same time, some of the other Hamilton characters have decided they’re fed up with society and are going to start a revolution. You can read more on this Tumblr tag, or you can read the story here!
Now onto the real answering of your question involving the “how” things work! I mean, a question that I can use to dump a ton of world-related information onto? Count me in! It’s going under the cut, though; it got a little bigger than I was expecting.
Deep inhale
I’m going to preface this by saying that the Hamilton Clipped AU is based on an original story called Clipped featuring a completely separate case of characters (although two of the characters have the names Elizabeth and Alexander as a nod) that @gsstar534 and I have been working on for around the last year or so. For the Hamilton Clipped AU, we merely transferred over some worldbuilding and borrowed the plot, changing little bits and pieces here and there so that it fits well as a Hamilton AU. With that in mind, there’s a lot to talk about, so I’m not going to go into a ton of detail here and attempt to keep things brief and summarized (especially considering that a good bit of this hasn’t been covered yet, so I’ve got that little TL;DR at the top that explains the bare minimum for what you might want to know going into the AU. Everything else will be eventually covered by the story, most likely.)
Alright, so there are two main kinds of people in this world. We’ve got humans – pretty standard – and ezfis, who are…less standard. Alex, for example, is an ezfi; they’re generally smaller and lighter-weight than humans, obviously have those large wings, and many other smaller and less physically noticeable differences. These less noticeable differences include things such as some slightly funky ways of dealing with storage, metabolizing, etc., as well as things such as behaviors designed for wing care (although in the case of wing care, that’s a learned behavior).  There’s also a large amount of variation between them, but wing patterns and such are usually traceable to certain regions. All of the characters are either one or the other; there’s a prezygotic barrier between humans and ezfis that allows them to have sexual intercourse, but does not allow for anything viable to come about as a result of that.
Now, to the world. There’s a lot going on here, so I’m just going to keep it simple for now. Basically, the standard country/province/state/whatever lines are…a little not there anymore. Most regional dialects are intact, and you still have the various areas that will speak one language over another (as discussed here). The main population centers are known as cities (such as New York City), and they’ll have their urban centers with less-densely populated land around them. They’re pretty high tech; food and power come from sustainable options and renewable sources, for the most part, as they’re the cheapest; these are usually located in that less-densely populated surrounding land. Although, as a result of this, beef and pork are often pretty costly to get. For NYC, since that’s where the AU focuses on: the city is divided into two main areas, just referred to as “uptown” and “downtown” for simplicity. Uptown is where most humans live, and has a heavier business district. On the other hand, ezfis usually live downtown, where things are more industrial. In the city, everyone wears armbands (which you can read more about here), which are basically like phones for the wrist, and ezfis are required to wear wing bands (which you can read more about here), which are like handcuffs for wings and stop ezfis from being able to fly.
Outside of cities, you’ve got the towns/villages, or whatever you’d like to call them. If you’ve ever read the Portal fanfiction Blue Sky, you can compare the technology of the town that Chell lives in to the sort of technology those living outside of the cities have access to. Some of it is surprisingly advanced, and some of it isn’t anything better than what we have today, or even worse. It’s a very “cobbled-together” sort of feeling, I suppose. Now, humans will live together in these villages more often than ezfis, although obviously for various reasons that’s not a hard rule, but one that is generally followed. Ezfis will usually live farther out, just as they can fly to where they need to go, and can cover larger distances with ease, so there’s less pressure to live right in the villages. Even then, families and such will often live near each other. There are cases where ezfis will have their own “tribes”, you could say, instead of being more split up; it’s more of a case-by-case sort of thing.
Now that we’ve established our basic world, let’s, uh, move on to the actual plot. I can’t write a ton here as I don’t want to spoil anything, but I’ll share what I can. So, Alexander is living in Nevis. Not the easiest life, but he’s got plans to get out of there and find a new life, likely on the mainland. He achieves this, but not through his plans coming to fruition; instead, he’s kidnapped by what are essentially slave traders (which you can read more on here), eventually making his way to NYC all beaten up with wingbands on. He’s tossed in a cell before going through processing (Where Aaron Burr and the Reynolds work). Now, after processing, ezfis are divded into three subgroups. You’ve got those who are taken first by King George and his personal ezfi Samuel; they’re sent off to an auction house. This is the path that Alexander takes; he’s eventually bought by Thomas and brought home. The Schuyler Sisters are also sent to auction, and are bought by other people. Those that are chosen second from the remaining pool brought in by the traders are sent to Lafayette (read a little on him here); they show the capability to go into scientific or similar careers that require more education. Those left behind join the general workforce.
The relationship between Alexander and Thomas is…not the smoothest, to put it delicately. Thomas has his reasons for finally deciding to purchase an ezfi, and it’s a huge change of pace and lifestyle for Alexander. And, to Thomas as well – in the eyes of the law, he now owns Alexander, and the ezfi is not the softest, especially at first.
At the same time all this is going on, we get Lafayette, Laurens, Hercules, Washington…basically our Act I revolutionary people, sneaking about, stealing documents, and deciding they’re going to change how NYC functions and stop the discrimination and such.
From here, we’re basically caught up with what’s happened in the story, so I think I’ll stop, haha. Most of what I post on Tumblr for this AU is answers to questions I get on the AU, snippets of Thomas and Alexander being happy together and just living life calmly, and various bits of fanart. One-shots are both here and on AO3, with AO3 also hosting the main story, as mentioned earlier. Browsing through the Hamilton Clipped AU tag will get you some things I haven’t mentioned/linked to here as well, but that’s mostly little details relating to specific characters as I’m questioned on them. And as always, I’m happy to answer any other questions people have, although I may not go into much detail for spoiler-related reasons.
Alright. Well, oh my. That got a little long-winded. As I said, we’ve done a good bit of worldbuilding for this, so I can talk a lot about it, haha. I actually cut out chunks of this as I was writing it to try and slim it down, but it’s still pretty long, and it’s perfectly possibly I may review this and decide to add a little more for clarification. Hopefully I more or less answered your question, somewhere in here?
A bit related, @gsstar534 and I have been working on setting up a little ask blog for the cast of the Hamilton Clipped AU; it’d be going alongside the main story in terms of the timeline! It’s still in it’s infantile stages, but it’ll hopefully be up and running soon enough – if anyone has interest in us doing that kind of thing, of course. And I can imagine it’ll likely center on some guys more than others too, haha.
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ebenpink · 5 years
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13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods http://bit.ly/2GiFxTG
While some keto or low-carb proponents claim fiber is useless at best and actively harmful at worst, I come down on the side that says fiber is probably helpful for most people. Some folks have persistently better responses to low- or no-fiber keto diets, and I won’t argue with that—I’ve seen it happen and I’ve read the studies where de-emphasizing fiber can actually improve constipation, for example.
I’ll just say that I have an opposite reaction, and, most importantly, I love eating a variety of plant foods that also happen to contain a ton of great nutrients in addition to fiber.
Do I buy into the idea that fiber is important because it is every human being’s responsibility to produce as much colonic bulk as humanly possible? No.
Do I think we should be consistently pushing the limits of our digestive tracts, performing feats of bathroom heroism so momentous they border on Herculean, and making sure the toilet bowl buckles beneath us? No.
The real value of fiber lies not in its coarseness, its tendency to form colonic bulk, to keep us topped off. The true value lies in its fermentability. A fermentable fiber is a prebiotic fiber—fiber that feeds our gut bacteria.
I won’t get into the many roles our gut bacteria play in our health today (I’ve covered that before. 1, 2, 3).
I will, however, explain why we need to be feeding our gut bacteria. Our gut bacteria form a physical barrier against incursions and colonization by pathogenic bacteria; they take up room along the gut lining so pathogens can’t. If we don’t feed our gut bacteria with prebiotics, it won’t be around to protect us. After antibiotic treatment where both good and bad gut flora are indiscriminately targeted and wiped out, pathogenic obesity-promoting bacteria take advantage of the open space. That’s a worst-case scenario, but it shows what can happen when the harmony of the gut is disturbed by antibiotics or, to a less extent, a lack of fermentable prebiotic fibers.
When our gut bacteria eat prebiotics, they also give off metabolites like butyric acid—a short chain fatty acid that our colonic cells use as an energy source and which improves metabolic health.
Gut bacteria also convert antinutrients like phytic acid into nutrients like inositol. The almond meal-obsessed keto eater would do well to have a powerful gut biome set up to convert all that phytic acid to inositol.
Now, some writers will come up with specific blends of fibers, powders and gums to create the “optimal” prebiotic diet for your gut bacteria, but that’s pretty silly. The gut is a complicated place. We’ve barely begun to even identify all its inhabitants. To think we know the precise blend of isolated fiber that will make them flourish, and then act on that, is a mistake.
A better option is to eat foods that contain fiber. Some of the prebiotic fibrous foods with the best nutrient profiles also happen to be extremely keto-friendly.
1) Almonds and Pistachios
Nuts are usually favored in health-conscious circles for a few reasons. They like the monounsaturated fat. They like the mineral profile, or the complete protein, or their ability to dissemble into nut meals and form baked goods. But what gets short shrift is the fiber content. Now, I can’t speak for other nuts, but almonds and pistachios in particular contain fiber with potent prebiotic effects. People who eat almonds and to an even greater extent pistachios end up with improved gut bacteria profiles.
2) Green Bananas
Ripe bananas are difficult to squeeze into a ketogenic diet. The green banana—an unripe one—is mostly resistant starch, a type of starch that cannot be digested and travels untouched until colonic bacteria metabolize it. It’s one of the best stimulators we know of butyric acid production. And sure, you could do a spoonful of raw potato starch to get your resistant starch, but the beauty of the green banana is that it also provides potassium, another nutrient that some find difficult to obtain and stay keto.
3) Wild Blueberries
Blackberries, boysenberries, raspberries, and strawberries are all loaded with fiber, and you should eat them. They’re lower carb than you think, they’re loaded with polyphenols, and topped with some real whipped cream they make a fantastic dessert. But wild blueberries are special. They’re smaller than other berries, which increases the amount of skin per ounce you get, and skin is where all the polyphenols and fiber lie. Heck, even the blueberry’s polyphenols have prebiotic effects on the gut biome.
4) Mushrooms
A few years ago, I wrote a whole post on mushrooms. Suffice it to say, they’re quite wonderful, bordering on magical. I did not discuss the fiber they contain. It turns out that all the various mushroom polysaccharides/fibers, including beta-glucans, mannans, chitin, xylans, and galactans also act as potent prebiotics that improve the health of the host.
5) Avocado
Your standard avocado has about 12-15 grams of fiber, if you eat the whole thing. I
6) Jicama
Great with chili powder, salt, and lime juice, jicama is about 11 grams of carbs per cup, but half of those are inulin, a potent prebiotic fiber with a tendency to really ramp up butyrate production.
7) Onions
Onions are another fantastic source of inulin. They go into almost every dish of every cuisine, so there’s no excuse not to be eating onions.
8) Garlic
I’ve been known to treat garlic like a vegetable, roasting an entire cast iron pan full until brown and sweet and chewy. They’re another great source of prebiotic fiber.
9) Leeks
Leeks have more inulin than onions. Try them crispy in egg scrambles.
10) Broccoli
Broccolini is a major part of my favorite meal of the day—my Big-Ass Keto Salad. Broccoli (and cruciferous vegetables in general) has been shown to have modulatory effects on the gut biome.
11) Sauerkraut
Kraut gives you two in one. It’s a fermented food, which is great for the gut biome. And it’s cabbage, which is very fibrous. Even pasteurized kraut improves gut health.
12) Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate, the good stuff with a high cacao content (85%+) and low sugar content, is an incredible source of prebiotic fiber. Eat more of it.
13) Animal Fiber
Obligate carnivores like cheetahs who don’t eat any plants (willingly) still have gut bacteria. These gut bacteria thrive on “animal fiber,” the gristle and cartilage and other bits of connective tissue that comprise a good 20-30% of the walking weight of a prey animal. Humans are not obligate carnivores, but eating the entire animal has been a mainstay of advanced hominid existence for millions of years. I find it very likely that something, someone, somewhere inside our guts is breaking down the animal fiber we eat—so you’d better be eating some!
Not so tough, is it? It’s not like I’m suggesting you load up on bran muffins, psyllium smoothies. I don’t want you dumping flax meal into everything or munching on those awful fiber gummies. Just eat some basic, healthy, low-carb plant matter—foods that don’t really scream “fiber”—and the rest will take care of itself.
What’s your favorite low-carb source of fiber? Let me know down below.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
//
//
References: 
Hernández E, Bargiela R, Diez MS, et al. Functional consequences of microbial shifts in the human gastrointestinal tract linked to antibiotic treatment and obesity. Gut Microbes. 2013;4(4):306-15.
Ukhanova M, Wang X, Baer DJ, Novotny JA, Fredborg M, Mai V. Effects of almond and pistachio consumption on gut microbiota composition in a randomised cross-over human feeding study. Br J Nutr. 2014;111(12):2146-52.
Jiao X, Wang Y, Lin Y, et al. Blueberry polyphenols extract as a potential prebiotic with anti-obesity effects on C57BL/6 J mice by modulating the gut microbiota. J Nutr Biochem. 2019;64:88-100.
Jayachandran M, Xiao J, Xu B. A Critical Review on Health Promoting Benefits of Edible Mushrooms through Gut Microbiota. Int J Mol Sci. 2017;18(9)
Nielsen ES, Garnås E, Jensen KJ, et al. Lacto-fermented sauerkraut improves symptoms in IBS patients independent of product pasteurisation – a pilot study. Food Funct. 2018;9(10):5323-5335.
The post 13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.
from Mark's Daily Apple http://bit.ly/2UBlWH6 via IFTTT http://bit.ly/2Gh6ZRC
0 notes
lauramalchowblog · 5 years
Text
13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods
While some keto or low-carb proponents claim fiber is useless at best and actively harmful at worst, I come down on the side that says fiber is probably helpful for most people. Some folks have persistently better responses to low- or no-fiber keto diets, and I won’t argue with that—I’ve seen it happen and I’ve read the studies where de-emphasizing fiber can actually improve constipation, for example.
I’ll just say that I have an opposite reaction, and, most importantly, I love eating a variety of plant foods that also happen to contain a ton of great nutrients in addition to fiber.
Do I buy into the idea that fiber is important because it is every human being’s responsibility to produce as much colonic bulk as humanly possible? No.
Do I think we should be consistently pushing the limits of our digestive tracts, performing feats of bathroom heroism so momentous they border on Herculean, and making sure the toilet bowl buckles beneath us? No.
The real value of fiber lies not in its coarseness, its tendency to form colonic bulk, to keep us topped off. The true value lies in its fermentability. A fermentable fiber is a prebiotic fiber—fiber that feeds our gut bacteria.
I won’t get into the many roles our gut bacteria play in our health today (I’ve covered that before. 1, 2, 3).
I will, however, explain why we need to be feeding our gut bacteria. Our gut bacteria form a physical barrier against incursions and colonization by pathogenic bacteria; they take up room along the gut lining so pathogens can’t. If we don’t feed our gut bacteria with prebiotics, it won’t be around to protect us. After antibiotic treatment where both good and bad gut flora are indiscriminately targeted and wiped out, pathogenic obesity-promoting bacteria take advantage of the open space. That’s a worst-case scenario, but it shows what can happen when the harmony of the gut is disturbed by antibiotics or, to a less extent, a lack of fermentable prebiotic fibers.
When our gut bacteria eat prebiotics, they also give off metabolites like butyric acid—a short chain fatty acid that our colonic cells use as an energy source and which improves metabolic health.
Gut bacteria also convert antinutrients like phytic acid into nutrients like inositol. The almond meal-obsessed keto eater would do well to have a powerful gut biome set up to convert all that phytic acid to inositol.
Now, some writers will come up with specific blends of fibers, powders and gums to create the “optimal” prebiotic diet for your gut bacteria, but that’s pretty silly. The gut is a complicated place. We’ve barely begun to even identify all its inhabitants. To think we know the precise blend of isolated fiber that will make them flourish, and then act on that, is a mistake.
A better option is to eat foods that contain fiber. Some of the prebiotic fibrous foods with the best nutrient profiles also happen to be extremely keto-friendly.
1) Almonds and Pistachios
Nuts are usually favored in health-conscious circles for a few reasons. They like the monounsaturated fat. They like the mineral profile, or the complete protein, or their ability to dissemble into nut meals and form baked goods. But what gets short shrift is the fiber content. Now, I can’t speak for other nuts, but almonds and pistachios in particular contain fiber with potent prebiotic effects. People who eat almonds and to an even greater extent pistachios end up with improved gut bacteria profiles.
2) Green Bananas
Ripe bananas are difficult to squeeze into a ketogenic diet. The green banana—an unripe one—is mostly resistant starch, a type of starch that cannot be digested and travels untouched until colonic bacteria metabolize it. It’s one of the best stimulators we know of butyric acid production. And sure, you could do a spoonful of raw potato starch to get your resistant starch, but the beauty of the green banana is that it also provides potassium, another nutrient that some find difficult to obtain and stay keto.
3) Wild Blueberries
Blackberries, boysenberries, raspberries, and strawberries are all loaded with fiber, and you should eat them. They’re lower carb than you think, they’re loaded with polyphenols, and topped with some real whipped cream they make a fantastic dessert. But wild blueberries are special. They’re smaller than other berries, which increases the amount of skin per ounce you get, and skin is where all the polyphenols and fiber lie. Heck, even the blueberry’s polyphenols have prebiotic effects on the gut biome.
4) Mushrooms
A few years ago, I wrote a whole post on mushrooms. Suffice it to say, they’re quite wonderful, bordering on magical. I did not discuss the fiber they contain. It turns out that all the various mushroom polysaccharides/fibers, including beta-glucans, mannans, chitin, xylans, and galactans also act as potent prebiotics that improve the health of the host.
5) Avocado
Your standard avocado has about 12-15 grams of fiber, if you eat the whole thing. I
6) Jicama
Great with chili powder, salt, and lime juice, jicama is about 11 grams of carbs per cup, but half of those are inulin, a potent prebiotic fiber with a tendency to really ramp up butyrate production.
7) Onions
Onions are another fantastic source of inulin. They go into almost every dish of every cuisine, so there’s no excuse not to be eating onions.
8) Garlic
I’ve been known to treat garlic like a vegetable, roasting an entire cast iron pan full until brown and sweet and chewy. They’re another great source of prebiotic fiber.
9) Leeks
Leeks have more inulin than onions. Try them crispy in egg scrambles.
10) Broccoli
Broccolini is a major part of my favorite meal of the day—my Big-Ass Keto Salad. Broccoli (and cruciferous vegetables in general) has been shown to have modulatory effects on the gut biome.
11) Sauerkraut
Kraut gives you two in one. It’s a fermented food, which is great for the gut biome. And it’s cabbage, which is very fibrous. Even pasteurized kraut improves gut health.
12) Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate, the good stuff with a high cacao content (85%+) and low sugar content, is an incredible source of prebiotic fiber. Eat more of it.
13) Animal Fiber
Obligate carnivores like cheetahs who don’t eat any plants (willingly) still have gut bacteria. These gut bacteria thrive on “animal fiber,” the gristle and cartilage and other bits of connective tissue that comprise a good 20-30% of the walking weight of a prey animal. Humans are not obligate carnivores, but eating the entire animal has been a mainstay of advanced hominid existence for millions of years. I find it very likely that something, someone, somewhere inside our guts is breaking down the animal fiber we eat—so you’d better be eating some!
Not so tough, is it? It’s not like I’m suggesting you load up on bran muffins, psyllium smoothies. I don’t want you dumping flax meal into everything or munching on those awful fiber gummies. Just eat some basic, healthy, low-carb plant matter—foods that don’t really scream “fiber”—and the rest will take care of itself.
What’s your favorite low-carb source of fiber? Let me know down below.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
(function($) { $("#dfvoofp").load("https://www.marksdailyapple.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=dfads_ajax_load_ads&groups=674&limit=1&orderby=random&order=ASC&container_id=&container_html=none&container_class=&ad_html=div&ad_class=&callback_function=&return_javascript=0&_block_id=dfvoofp" ); })( jQuery );
window.onload=function(){ga('send', { hitType: 'event', eventCategory: 'Ad Impression', eventAction: '66572' });}
References: 
Hernández E, Bargiela R, Diez MS, et al. Functional consequences of microbial shifts in the human gastrointestinal tract linked to antibiotic treatment and obesity. Gut Microbes. 2013;4(4):306-15.
Ukhanova M, Wang X, Baer DJ, Novotny JA, Fredborg M, Mai V. Effects of almond and pistachio consumption on gut microbiota composition in a randomised cross-over human feeding study. Br J Nutr. 2014;111(12):2146-52.
Jiao X, Wang Y, Lin Y, et al. Blueberry polyphenols extract as a potential prebiotic with anti-obesity effects on C57BL/6 J mice by modulating the gut microbiota. J Nutr Biochem. 2019;64:88-100.
Jayachandran M, Xiao J, Xu B. A Critical Review on Health Promoting Benefits of Edible Mushrooms through Gut Microbiota. Int J Mol Sci. 2017;18(9)
Nielsen ES, Garnås E, Jensen KJ, et al. Lacto-fermented sauerkraut improves symptoms in IBS patients independent of product pasteurisation – a pilot study. Food Funct. 2018;9(10):5323-5335.
The post 13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.
13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods published first on https://venabeahan.tumblr.com
0 notes
jesseneufeld · 5 years
Text
13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods
While some keto or low-carb proponents claim fiber is useless at best and actively harmful at worst, I come down on the side that says fiber is probably helpful for most people. Some folks have persistently better responses to low- or no-fiber keto diets, and I won’t argue with that—I’ve seen it happen and I’ve read the studies where de-emphasizing fiber can actually improve constipation, for example.
I’ll just say that I have an opposite reaction, and, most importantly, I love eating a variety of plant foods that also happen to contain a ton of great nutrients in addition to fiber.
Do I buy into the idea that fiber is important because it is every human being’s responsibility to produce as much colonic bulk as humanly possible? No.
Do I think we should be consistently pushing the limits of our digestive tracts, performing feats of bathroom heroism so momentous they border on Herculean, and making sure the toilet bowl buckles beneath us? No.
The real value of fiber lies not in its coarseness, its tendency to form colonic bulk, to keep us topped off. The true value lies in its fermentability. A fermentable fiber is a prebiotic fiber—fiber that feeds our gut bacteria.
I won’t get into the many roles our gut bacteria play in our health today (I’ve covered that before. 1, 2, 3).
I will, however, explain why we need to be feeding our gut bacteria. Our gut bacteria form a physical barrier against incursions and colonization by pathogenic bacteria; they take up room along the gut lining so pathogens can’t. If we don’t feed our gut bacteria with prebiotics, it won’t be around to protect us. After antibiotic treatment where both good and bad gut flora are indiscriminately targeted and wiped out, pathogenic obesity-promoting bacteria take advantage of the open space. That’s a worst-case scenario, but it shows what can happen when the harmony of the gut is disturbed by antibiotics or, to a less extent, a lack of fermentable prebiotic fibers.
When our gut bacteria eat prebiotics, they also give off metabolites like butyric acid—a short chain fatty acid that our colonic cells use as an energy source and which improves metabolic health.
Gut bacteria also convert antinutrients like phytic acid into nutrients like inositol. The almond meal-obsessed keto eater would do well to have a powerful gut biome set up to convert all that phytic acid to inositol.
Now, some writers will come up with specific blends of fibers, powders and gums to create the “optimal” prebiotic diet for your gut bacteria, but that’s pretty silly. The gut is a complicated place. We’ve barely begun to even identify all its inhabitants. To think we know the precise blend of isolated fiber that will make them flourish, and then act on that, is a mistake.
A better option is to eat foods that contain fiber. Some of the prebiotic fibrous foods with the best nutrient profiles also happen to be extremely keto-friendly.
1) Almonds and Pistachios
Nuts are usually favored in health-conscious circles for a few reasons. They like the monounsaturated fat. They like the mineral profile, or the complete protein, or their ability to dissemble into nut meals and form baked goods. But what gets short shrift is the fiber content. Now, I can’t speak for other nuts, but almonds and pistachios in particular contain fiber with potent prebiotic effects. People who eat almonds and to an even greater extent pistachios end up with improved gut bacteria profiles.
2) Green Bananas
Ripe bananas are difficult to squeeze into a ketogenic diet. The green banana—an unripe one—is mostly resistant starch, a type of starch that cannot be digested and travels untouched until colonic bacteria metabolize it. It’s one of the best stimulators we know of butyric acid production. And sure, you could do a spoonful of raw potato starch to get your resistant starch, but the beauty of the green banana is that it also provides potassium, another nutrient that some find difficult to obtain and stay keto.
3) Wild Blueberries
Blackberries, boysenberries, raspberries, and strawberries are all loaded with fiber, and you should eat them. They’re lower carb than you think, they’re loaded with polyphenols, and topped with some real whipped cream they make a fantastic dessert. But wild blueberries are special. They’re smaller than other berries, which increases the amount of skin per ounce you get, and skin is where all the polyphenols and fiber lie. Heck, even the blueberry’s polyphenols have prebiotic effects on the gut biome.
4) Mushrooms
A few years ago, I wrote a whole post on mushrooms. Suffice it to say, they’re quite wonderful, bordering on magical. I did not discuss the fiber they contain. It turns out that all the various mushroom polysaccharides/fibers, including beta-glucans, mannans, chitin, xylans, and galactans also act as potent prebiotics that improve the health of the host.
5) Avocado
Your standard avocado has about 12-15 grams of fiber, if you eat the whole thing. I
6) Jicama
Great with chili powder, salt, and lime juice, jicama is about 11 grams of carbs per cup, but half of those are inulin, a potent prebiotic fiber with a tendency to really ramp up butyrate production.
7) Onions
Onions are another fantastic source of inulin. They go into almost every dish of every cuisine, so there’s no excuse not to be eating onions.
8) Garlic
I’ve been known to treat garlic like a vegetable, roasting an entire cast iron pan full until brown and sweet and chewy. They’re another great source of prebiotic fiber.
9) Leeks
Leeks have more inulin than onions. Try them crispy in egg scrambles.
10) Broccoli
Broccolini is a major part of my favorite meal of the day—my Big-Ass Keto Salad. Broccoli (and cruciferous vegetables in general) has been shown to have modulatory effects on the gut biome.
11) Sauerkraut
Kraut gives you two in one. It’s a fermented food, which is great for the gut biome. And it’s cabbage, which is very fibrous. Even pasteurized kraut improves gut health.
12) Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate, the good stuff with a high cacao content (85%+) and low sugar content, is an incredible source of prebiotic fiber. Eat more of it.
13) Animal Fiber
Obligate carnivores like cheetahs who don’t eat any plants (willingly) still have gut bacteria. These gut bacteria thrive on “animal fiber,” the gristle and cartilage and other bits of connective tissue that comprise a good 20-30% of the walking weight of a prey animal. Humans are not obligate carnivores, but eating the entire animal has been a mainstay of advanced hominid existence for millions of years. I find it very likely that something, someone, somewhere inside our guts is breaking down the animal fiber we eat—so you’d better be eating some!
Not so tough, is it? It’s not like I’m suggesting you load up on bran muffins, psyllium smoothies. I don’t want you dumping flax meal into everything or munching on those awful fiber gummies. Just eat some basic, healthy, low-carb plant matter—foods that don’t really scream “fiber”—and the rest will take care of itself.
What’s your favorite low-carb source of fiber? Let me know down below.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
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References: 
Hernández E, Bargiela R, Diez MS, et al. Functional consequences of microbial shifts in the human gastrointestinal tract linked to antibiotic treatment and obesity. Gut Microbes. 2013;4(4):306-15.
Ukhanova M, Wang X, Baer DJ, Novotny JA, Fredborg M, Mai V. Effects of almond and pistachio consumption on gut microbiota composition in a randomised cross-over human feeding study. Br J Nutr. 2014;111(12):2146-52.
Jiao X, Wang Y, Lin Y, et al. Blueberry polyphenols extract as a potential prebiotic with anti-obesity effects on C57BL/6 J mice by modulating the gut microbiota. J Nutr Biochem. 2019;64:88-100.
Jayachandran M, Xiao J, Xu B. A Critical Review on Health Promoting Benefits of Edible Mushrooms through Gut Microbiota. Int J Mol Sci. 2017;18(9)
Nielsen ES, Garnås E, Jensen KJ, et al. Lacto-fermented sauerkraut improves symptoms in IBS patients independent of product pasteurisation – a pilot study. Food Funct. 2018;9(10):5323-5335.
The post 13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.
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cynthiamwashington · 5 years
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13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods
While some keto or low-carb proponents claim fiber is useless at best and actively harmful at worst, I come down on the side that says fiber is probably helpful for most people. Some folks have persistently better responses to low- or no-fiber keto diets, and I won’t argue with that—I’ve seen it happen and I’ve read the studies where de-emphasizing fiber can actually improve constipation, for example.
I’ll just say that I have an opposite reaction, and, most importantly, I love eating a variety of plant foods that also happen to contain a ton of great nutrients in addition to fiber.
Do I buy into the idea that fiber is important because it is every human being’s responsibility to produce as much colonic bulk as humanly possible? No.
Do I think we should be consistently pushing the limits of our digestive tracts, performing feats of bathroom heroism so momentous they border on Herculean, and making sure the toilet bowl buckles beneath us? No.
The real value of fiber lies not in its coarseness, its tendency to form colonic bulk, to keep us topped off. The true value lies in its fermentability. A fermentable fiber is a prebiotic fiber—fiber that feeds our gut bacteria.
I won’t get into the many roles our gut bacteria play in our health today (I’ve covered that before. 1, 2, 3).
I will, however, explain why we need to be feeding our gut bacteria. Our gut bacteria form a physical barrier against incursions and colonization by pathogenic bacteria; they take up room along the gut lining so pathogens can’t. If we don’t feed our gut bacteria with prebiotics, it won’t be around to protect us. After antibiotic treatment where both good and bad gut flora are indiscriminately targeted and wiped out, pathogenic obesity-promoting bacteria take advantage of the open space. That’s a worst-case scenario, but it shows what can happen when the harmony of the gut is disturbed by antibiotics or, to a less extent, a lack of fermentable prebiotic fibers.
When our gut bacteria eat prebiotics, they also give off metabolites like butyric acid—a short chain fatty acid that our colonic cells use as an energy source and which improves metabolic health.
Gut bacteria also convert antinutrients like phytic acid into nutrients like inositol. The almond meal-obsessed keto eater would do well to have a powerful gut biome set up to convert all that phytic acid to inositol.
Now, some writers will come up with specific blends of fibers, powders and gums to create the “optimal” prebiotic diet for your gut bacteria, but that’s pretty silly. The gut is a complicated place. We’ve barely begun to even identify all its inhabitants. To think we know the precise blend of isolated fiber that will make them flourish, and then act on that, is a mistake.
A better option is to eat foods that contain fiber. Some of the prebiotic fibrous foods with the best nutrient profiles also happen to be extremely keto-friendly.
1) Almonds and Pistachios
Nuts are usually favored in health-conscious circles for a few reasons. They like the monounsaturated fat. They like the mineral profile, or the complete protein, or their ability to dissemble into nut meals and form baked goods. But what gets short shrift is the fiber content. Now, I can’t speak for other nuts, but almonds and pistachios in particular contain fiber with potent prebiotic effects. People who eat almonds and to an even greater extent pistachios end up with improved gut bacteria profiles.
2) Green Bananas
Ripe bananas are difficult to squeeze into a ketogenic diet. The green banana—an unripe one—is mostly resistant starch, a type of starch that cannot be digested and travels untouched until colonic bacteria metabolize it. It’s one of the best stimulators we know of butyric acid production. And sure, you could do a spoonful of raw potato starch to get your resistant starch, but the beauty of the green banana is that it also provides potassium, another nutrient that some find difficult to obtain and stay keto.
3) Wild Blueberries
Blackberries, boysenberries, raspberries, and strawberries are all loaded with fiber, and you should eat them. They’re lower carb than you think, they’re loaded with polyphenols, and topped with some real whipped cream they make a fantastic dessert. But wild blueberries are special. They’re smaller than other berries, which increases the amount of skin per ounce you get, and skin is where all the polyphenols and fiber lie. Heck, even the blueberry’s polyphenols have prebiotic effects on the gut biome.
4) Mushrooms
A few years ago, I wrote a whole post on mushrooms. Suffice it to say, they’re quite wonderful, bordering on magical. I did not discuss the fiber they contain. It turns out that all the various mushroom polysaccharides/fibers, including beta-glucans, mannans, chitin, xylans, and galactans also act as potent prebiotics that improve the health of the host.
5) Avocado
Your standard avocado has about 12-15 grams of fiber, if you eat the whole thing. I
6) Jicama
Great with chili powder, salt, and lime juice, jicama is about 11 grams of carbs per cup, but half of those are inulin, a potent prebiotic fiber with a tendency to really ramp up butyrate production.
7) Onions
Onions are another fantastic source of inulin. They go into almost every dish of every cuisine, so there’s no excuse not to be eating onions.
8) Garlic
I’ve been known to treat garlic like a vegetable, roasting an entire cast iron pan full until brown and sweet and chewy. They’re another great source of prebiotic fiber.
9) Leeks
Leeks have more inulin than onions. Try them crispy in egg scrambles.
10) Broccoli
Broccolini is a major part of my favorite meal of the day—my Big-Ass Keto Salad. Broccoli (and cruciferous vegetables in general) has been shown to have modulatory effects on the gut biome.
11) Sauerkraut
Kraut gives you two in one. It’s a fermented food, which is great for the gut biome. And it’s cabbage, which is very fibrous. Even pasteurized kraut improves gut health.
12) Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate, the good stuff with a high cacao content (85%+) and low sugar content, is an incredible source of prebiotic fiber. Eat more of it.
13) Animal Fiber
Obligate carnivores like cheetahs who don’t eat any plants (willingly) still have gut bacteria. These gut bacteria thrive on “animal fiber,” the gristle and cartilage and other bits of connective tissue that comprise a good 20-30% of the walking weight of a prey animal. Humans are not obligate carnivores, but eating the entire animal has been a mainstay of advanced hominid existence for millions of years. I find it very likely that something, someone, somewhere inside our guts is breaking down the animal fiber we eat—so you’d better be eating some!
Not so tough, is it? It’s not like I’m suggesting you load up on bran muffins, psyllium smoothies. I don’t want you dumping flax meal into everything or munching on those awful fiber gummies. Just eat some basic, healthy, low-carb plant matter—foods that don’t really scream “fiber”—and the rest will take care of itself.
What’s your favorite low-carb source of fiber? Let me know down below.
Thanks for reading, everyone.
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References: 
Hernández E, Bargiela R, Diez MS, et al. Functional consequences of microbial shifts in the human gastrointestinal tract linked to antibiotic treatment and obesity. Gut Microbes. 2013;4(4):306-15.
Ukhanova M, Wang X, Baer DJ, Novotny JA, Fredborg M, Mai V. Effects of almond and pistachio consumption on gut microbiota composition in a randomised cross-over human feeding study. Br J Nutr. 2014;111(12):2146-52.
Jiao X, Wang Y, Lin Y, et al. Blueberry polyphenols extract as a potential prebiotic with anti-obesity effects on C57BL/6 J mice by modulating the gut microbiota. J Nutr Biochem. 2019;64:88-100.
Jayachandran M, Xiao J, Xu B. A Critical Review on Health Promoting Benefits of Edible Mushrooms through Gut Microbiota. Int J Mol Sci. 2017;18(9)
Nielsen ES, Garnås E, Jensen KJ, et al. Lacto-fermented sauerkraut improves symptoms in IBS patients independent of product pasteurisation – a pilot study. Food Funct. 2018;9(10):5323-5335.
The post 13 Keto-Friendly Fiber Foods appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.
Article source here:Marks’s Daily Apple
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artsoccupychi · 6 years
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Why You Should Chew Your Green Smoothies
Adopting the habit of drinking a daily green smoothie comes with plenty of benefits. Obviously, it’s a surefire, easy way to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into your diet, and many green smoothies provide your entire recommended daily allowance of vitamins and nutrients!
With so many amazing benefits to drinking your greens, you probably feel pretty proud of your decision to include green smoothies as part of your healthy lifestyle.
However, you may be missing out on some of the nutritional benefits swirling around in that glass of goodness. There’s one surprising simple step you could add while enjoying your healthy green smoothie that would boost the nutritional effects even more: Chew them!
Chewing your green smoothie has added health benefits.
In this article:
Closer to the Diet Nature Intended
The Crucial Role of Chewing
The One-Two Punch: Blending and Chewing
More Health Benefits of Chewing
This tip can especially help folks with digestive problems who don’t absorb much nutrition. These increasingly common maladies include leaky gut, SIBO, Crohn’s disease, and Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
That’s right! Chew your green smoothie. Right about now, you’re probably thinking, “How on earth could I chew a blended smoothie?” and that part is easy:
You just take a sip of your healthy green smoothie.
Move your teeth in a chewing motion multiple times.
Swallow your green smoothie.
Repeat.
The more complex question is why you should chew your smoothies, and the answer requires a little bit of a biology lesson.
CLOSER TO THE DIET NATURE INTENDED
We all know that we shouldn’t be eating refined sugars and processed foods, but with so much conflicting advice – Go Paleo! Go Keto! Avoid all carbs! – it’s hard to know exactly what we should be eating.
To answer that, Victoria Boutenko, renowned green smoothie pioneer and authority, studied the dietary habits of large primates, our closest relatives. Because we share almost 99% of our DNA with our primates, she observed what they do in nature.
Of course, primates are largely vegetarian and eat a diet primarily consisting of greens, but gorillas don’t just chow down on a whole tree everyday. Instead, they eat a wide variety of greens, consuming each one in small amounts on a daily basis.
Of course, as our society has created more and more processed foods, we’ve moved away from greens and have started eating an increasing amount of soft foods.
In fact, many parents today protect their children from having to chew anything, peeling apples and cutting the crusts off white bread. As we (and our kids) chew less, our species has devolved.
Even the open-minded kids and adults who are willing to eat salads often barely chew them before swallowing. While the insoluble fiber is still beneficial, the body simply cannot break down and utilize the nutrition in the greens without them being fully chewed.
THE CRUCIAL ROLE OF CHEWING
To be digestible, greens need to be fully broken down into the tiniest particles, or “creamed” like wide-palate primates with strong jaws are able to do easily, any observable “chunks” of green.
However, if you chew up your salad and then right before you would normally swallow it, you instead spit it out and look at it, you’re likely to see a mouthful of torn-up greens, nowhere near “creamed” and ready for digestion like it needs to be.
That’s because over several generations of eating increasingly more refined foods, the human body has adapted by developing ever-narrower palates. (This helps to explain the meteoric rise in orthodontic work; more and more orthodontists are widening children’s palates.)
A lot of children have to go to an orthodontist to get their palates widened.
Our jaws have weakened. We no longer chew food to the extent that we need to in order to extract nutrition from denser foods like raw green vegetables, as primates with wide palates do. We are no longer capable of breaking down the most important foods in our diet: greens.
THE ONE-TWO PUNCH: BLENDING AND CHEWING
While you can’t rewind the “devolution” of the jaw, drinking a healthy green smoothie every day solves this problem. Your blender does all that breakdown work for you – pulverizing those leafy greens into tiny particles that your body has no problem digesting. It’s essentially “creaming” the greens, or predigesting them for you.
In fact, blended greens have been shown to increase nutrient absorption.1 Your blender breaks down greens so completely, it actually crushes the cell walls – which makes the nutrients highly bioavailable if you consume the greens right after processing them in your blender.
There’s only one caveat: To digest food, your body needs the important digestive juices and enzymes from your saliva to mingle with your food before it goes to your stomach. Since our digestive processes started long before blenders existed, chewing is the natural way in which saliva is produced.
Chewing produces saliva, which has natural enzymes that help digest food properly.
So, if you chew your green smoothie fully in your mouth (even though it is smooth and liquefied), you’ll create saliva – along with the necessary enzymes and digestive juices – you’ll need for your stomach to digest all the nutrients from the greens in your smoothie.
MORE HEALTH BENEFITS OF CHEWING
Along with creating saliva and enzymes, scientists have actually found a wide range of benefits associated with chewing, giving you even more reasons why you should chew your green smoothies. According to studies:
Chewing longer and more thoroughly could help you combat obesity. 2 One study found that participants who chewed food 40 times before swallowing ingested nearly 12% less than those who chewed just 15 times. They also ate fewer calories and had lower levels of the “hunger hormone” (ghrelin) after meals.
Chewing can help to reduce stress. 3 The grinding and clenching involved in the physical process of chewing helps to soothe the body’s the limbic system and autonomic nervous system. It also increases proteins and hormones in the brain and blood – all of which strongly suggests chewing can relieve stress.
Chewing can make you feel less hungry, helping to control your appetite. 4 Five different studies found that when people chewed more, they reported feeling more satisfied after eating. Two additional studies found that adding more chews per bite also resulted in participants feeling fuller after eating.
There you have it: why you should chew your green smoothies! Adding this simple action to your favorite healthy habit can help you take it to the next nutritional level.
Looking and feeling amazing, are just one of the many benefits of chewing green smoothies.
Not only will it allow your body to digest all of the vitamins and minerals in your green smoothie, but you’ll blow off a little stress and may even eat a little less while feeling a little more satisfied. In no time at all, those little benefits can add up to a big difference in how you look and how you feel – and that’s something worth chewing on!
Read Next: Top Proven Ginger Health Benefits, And My Favorite Ways To Use It
Robyn Openshaw, MSW, is the bestselling author of The Green Smoothies Diet, 12 Steps to Whole Foods, and 2017’s #1 Amazon Bestseller and USA Today Bestseller, Vibe. Learn more about how to make the journey painless, from the nutrient-scarce Standard American Diet, to a whole-foods diet, in her free video masterclass 12 Steps to Whole Foods.
    SOURCES:
(1) Kuntz, Sabine et al. “Uptake and bioavailability of anthocyanins and phenolic acids from grape/blueberry juice and smoothie in vitro and in vivo”British Journal of Nutrition. Volume 113, Issue 7 14 April 2015 , pp. 1044-1055 (2) Jie Li, Na Zhang, Lizhen Hu, Ze Li, Rui Li, Cong Li, Shuran Wang; Improvement in chewing activity reduces energy intake in one meal and modulates plasma gut hormone concentrations in obese and lean young Chinese men–, The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, Volume 94, Issue 3, 1 September 2011, Pages 709–716, https://doi.org/10.3945/ajcn.111.015164 (3) Sato, S. & Slavicek, R. J. Stomat. Occ. Med. (2008) 1: 51. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12548-008-0010-8 (4) Sophie Miquel Kergoat et al. “Effects of chewing on appetite, food intake and gut hormones: A systematic review and meta-analysis” Physiology & Behavior Volume 151, 1 November 2015, Pages 88-96
  Disclaimer: This article may contain affiliate links, which allow you to support our mission without costing you extra.
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thecoroutfitters · 6 years
Link
Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.
Having a cache isn’t a bad idea for all sorts of reasons. Even if we don’t plan to bug out anywhere, we can easily be cut off from our homes and vehicles by everyday events: traffic accidents, evacuations due to spills and contamination’s, house fires, flooding dams and water mains, damaged bridges, vehicle malfunctions. Having a cache we don’t need a shovel to access – or a cache for the e-tools to get into our buried treasures – can be priceless.
Even Reader’s Digest has covered ways to hide valuables, and there are a million and one prepper and survivalist videos and articles for other ideas. Geocaching has some good ones, too.
Here I’m mostly going to focus on stuff I don’t see suggested often or ever. Many have some size restrictions, but many are also applicable for both permanent residences and “other” locations – unused residential areas, off-site storage units, back country wilds, backwoods dump sites, and undeveloped property. They’re also largely hiding in plain sight, which limits how much attention we draw erecting and accessing them.
Warnings-Disclaimers
One, Many good cache locations become good hidey holes for critters, too. Hornets and wasps are one level of bad. Rodents are bad enough when cornered, too.
I grew up in the Deep South, then served in Asia and the Southwest. It is second nature not to stick my paw into dark spaces, to tap before poking/lifting, and to use something that gives me at least 8-12” of extra reach when popping covers off anything, and to look really well before entering crawlspaces or areas where there’s conduit overhead.
See, snakes especially but sometimes spiders get really cranky about being intruded upon. It does not take a venomous bite to put you in the hospital – even the “safe” cuties have filthy mouths.
Two, Surface caches are vulnerable to wind, water, and temperature fluctuations. That limits what we’ll want to store in them, although not significantly versus a buried cache that’s less than 3-5’ deep.
Three, Any physical location we do not personally own and maintain is vulnerable. Remote wilds to the few remaining lockers at a bus/train terminal, stuff changes. Residential and commercial properties evolve as well.
Trees get cut and fall, and waterways ebb and flow, consuming or exposing our stuff. New owners take over and renovate. The state entity that owns something decides to put in a path, allow hunting, or permits a clean-up group. Condemned buildings get demolished.
Power line cuts tend to be pretty standard, but sometimes the contracts/contractors get extra froggy, sometimes cuts go to buried lines, sometimes private-held lines get rerouted and cuts are abandoned to turn into tangles, and sometimes somebody pours a slab over our goodies while they’re building a substation or cell tower.
And, just like our houses, there’s a fire risk pretty much everywhere.
Other options for caches like storage buildings, parking space rentals for passenger vehicles or off-season boats and motorcycle trailers, public parks, off-season RV lots, half-built and then abandoned commercial and residential construction sites, empty houses both long-abandoned death traps or longtime empty for-sale lots, and empty strip malls, gas stations, restaurants, and car washes have some benefits for preppers looking for a cache spot, but they also have additional drawbacks.
Remember, I suggest cruising curbside pickups and dumping sites for goodies that can be re-purposed. I learned this from others, to include modern hobo types. Squatters and homeless may poke through locations, or various ages and threat levels of hoodlums make use of a spot.
All above-ground caches have some vulnerability since there’s less time and effort involved with getting to them. Getting creative can help reduce the risks.
Posts
Fence posts and posts for our backyard lights and birdhouses have girth restrictions, but sizable timbers can be used and hollowed out like tree stumps to hold long cylinders or daisy-chained small packages, much the way we’d bury PVC or erect fake conduit for some supplies. Short posts especially can serve as a cap for something we’ve recessed in the surface soil.
Sub-Irrigated Planters
Garden planters that involve nesting storage totes or buckets inside each other typically call for a sturdy spacer. That gives us a whole lot more room to play with than the typical potted-plant “safe”.
It’ll be heavy in planting season, but we can still be getting a good 6-10” of growing depth, keep decent reservoir capacity, and gain pretty easy access for a backyard stash, but one that’s heavier and messier than most would go through on the offhand chance of a score.
Backyard Birdhouses
This one is especially applicable to “other” properties as well as our own, and one of the most versatile options for sizes. We can either custom-build birdhouses so there are bare recesses instead of actual holes to deny critter access, or just fill standard birdhouses. If we’re using a post, that can become storage as well.
Standard bluebird houses can hold a peanut butter tub, pasta jar or in some cases even a coffee tub or ammo can, or we can get creative with arranging smaller and oddball-sized houses that would be appropriate for small, individual songbird nests or the many, many decorative birdhouses out there today.
Large and massive dovecotes allow us even more freedom, holding a handful of coffee tubs, several ammo cans, or suck-sealed and double-wrapped clothing items in small storage totes.
It’s slow and painful, but even if all we have are standard drill bits and a hand saw, we can hollow out small logs to make a variety of sizes and depths to cluster around porches, hang from fences, and stick up on posts without buying/salvaging lumber or other birdhouses. Or, use split smaller-yet limbs for construction with simple glues or nails.
We can easily distress those items and add them to the yards of empty houses or the dump sites that develop around back roads and abandoned commercial buildings. Don’t hang them – they’ll be less inviting if they’re lying on the ground like something that wasn’t worth keeping.
  Play Conservationist
Most areas have programs ranging from PETA types through Ducks Unlimited’s hunters to help provide safe nesting for ducks, pelicans, cormorants, and raptors. Many are encouraged for homeowners and uber-organic farmers, and putting up bat houses is even more popular for the backyard crowds.
That helps this one apply to even more locations, especially if we print and laminate small 2”x4”-3”x5” placards to label our creations “[fill-in-the-blank bird] Conservation – Visit [eco-freak/hunter/DNR website] to learn more about native wildlife”.
Those big ol’ birdhouses give us a lot of room to play with.
Raptor platforms and boxes can be filled with larger flat objects and have nests built up on them, leaving room for actual birds or not.
Same goes for the bucket-sized wood duck and merganser boxes – we can put in a barrier just below the hole so they pop in and pop right back out, or we can just stuff our ammo can, toolbox or lunchbox into the bottom, leaving room for the critters to use it until we need our glove-stuffed boots, rain gear, e-tool, or spade and knife set.
They also commonly need big ol’ sturdy supports, so we can make use of a stump or invest in larger-diameter pipe or 6×6-8×8” timbers (or build what looks like them out of 1 x what-evers) to give us more storage room yet.
If we hang flush to a tree instead, we can carve out a hollow behind the birdhouse or bat house to use as well or instead.
Fire Extinguisher Mounting Brackets/Boards
Along the same lines as using the space behind a fake or functional birdhouse, we can use the space behind safety equipment pretty much everybody should have on hand anyway.
I wouldn’t leave a fake extinguisher anywhere somebody might grab it, but the brackets are sometimes so obvious in what they are, it would work for inside abandoned properties or if we can distress a fake, pull the safety and bleed off the gauge, they, too, would add space, especially at dump sites and even inside foreclosure/abandoned buildings.
Faux Spouts, Stacks & Gutters
Sticking up a downspout that isn’t actually connected to a gutter is a fast, easy way to gain a bit of outdoor storage space. Adding a covered gutter is a bit pricier, but can also pay off due to the size and more importantly the length and ease of access for later.
I would 100% not climb the roof of a property I’m not sure about. However, at ours and if it’s accessible from a ladder I can slide in, studded rooftops are far from uncommon – and those are common sites for leaks, which calls for a repairman or inspector who won’t generate too much interest.
They let us custom-size relatively inexpensive and salvaged materials to hold anything we’d bury in an ammo box or PVC tube, although we have to be cognizant of just how hot rooftops can get and make sure it’s secure against winds and any ice/snow loads we face.
*DO NOT buy a real vent stack. Salvage or get crafty.
Built-In Hidey-Holes
Another that applies to pretty much anywhere, to include dump sites and really trashed abandoned yards and houses, as well as storage lockers and somewhere out of sight on our own properties, are old “junk” that has a fair bit of empty space inside.
We just want to make sure they are appropriately distressed with enough frayed electrical cords and cracked faces to avoid appealing to thieves and scrap salvagers.
I discovered just how roomy the rear interior of both a stove and washer are when a songbird flew in the house and repeatedly disappeared inside appliances. (No, I did not indulge my giggling father and turn them on – I did give some thought to buying a ferret.)
Once gutted, many window AC units and some RV rooftop units will rival a storage tote or bucket for storage space.
We don’t even need tools if we can lay our hands on an already-dinged-up bumper to semi-submerge in the earth (dissuading others from flipping it over and finding our machete, shovel, probe bar, hatchet, etc.). Printers also come ready-made with a frustrating array of pockets and access points.
The possibilities are pretty endless.
Remember…
There are a whole host of options for increasing our off-site squirrel hoards – or stashing tools we need to access buried caches – but we do have to give some thought to what we stash due to size and the chances of loss and damage, and to the possible risks we’ll face accessing them before, during and after disasters.
And, for-real, don’t forget to sniff, listen, and watch for snakes, especially in spaces and weather that leave them no choice but to strike if somebody gets too close. And, if you do like digging holes…..
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from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag
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