#my people drawing skills never really improved and while i would like to be able to draw well i kinda just. don’t enjoy it?

[cryptidunknown]

so i want to start posting about my ocs and tagging stuff with them but i have yet to take the plunge and actually introduce them (other than a crappy post from years ago) so im just gonna introduce them in the shittiest way possible and we'll work from there

its basically a modern dnd-ish (but not really) fantasy setting. i havent figured out literally any logistics, but basically all the non-humans (i call them Magicfolk) were living secretly under the noses of humans until very recently, and our story begins right as whatever was keeping the humans from knowing about Magicfolk is starting to collapse. This is causing a lot of tension between the humans and Magicfolk, naturally, and our group is basically a dnd party slash superhero group of teens trying to fix it all. villains they fight consist mainly of human Hunters who try to hunt down and kill magicfolk, and magicfolk who either believe they are superior to humans or want to eat them (or both)

our gang consists of:

-a punk artist with newfound dragon powers. people dont usually have dragon powers in this world. shes got her own stuff going on. it’s a whole thing

-the heir to the Fae throne who's also a soft boy ukulele plant dad

-nerdy little wizard prodigy who likes to look very put together and professional but is actually a huge dork and also will blow you up

-the stray human girl they picked up along the way who is now in charge of the group's shared braincell

i really want to add a 5th member but havent figured them out yet so. this is where we're at

nerdy little wizard boy is punk artist dragon girl’s younger brother. punk artist dragon girl and heir to the fae throne are besties and chaotic lesbian/gay solidarity. nerdy little wizard boy and and stray human girl are in love. they are all high school age and best friends and very stupid and i love them. i will be inflicting more of them apon you all this is just the start

[naoko-world]

My opinion on the Percy Jackson tv show season 1!

So I watched season one of the Percy Jackson tv show as it was released and now here is time for a quick review!

Sorry I wanted to finish this drawing before, hope you like it! (To be honest i didn't draw the drawing on the shirts, I just used what was used on the Disney store, but I draw the rest.) You can see it on my Instagram too, without the review

SPOILER WARNING

I'll start my review of season one by talking about...

The characters

Well, first I wanna say I like how the three main characters are being portrayed here ! Percy is a very loving and kind character while Annabeth is a smart girl desperately looking for recognition from her mother. As for Grover, he's a kind and clumsy satyr who really likes Percy and it shows. Basically these three characters love and trust each other and it's incredibly obvious ! Even Annabeth and Percy, who start their relationship by not being that much trusting in each other. I really like how their quest improve their relationship !

What I love too is how the adults are shown, especially Sally and Poseidon. Sally, who was shown as a perfect mother in the book, became a woman who is doing her best to raise her son in the series and I find it so interesting ! The book is in Percy's point of view so it's obvious that he would see her that way, but the tv series isn't exclusively from his point of view so it can show her turning desperate because she don't know how to effectively protect her son. I can say I really like her scene with Poseidon too, that was so touching!

Just a word about Gabe, who is way less clearly abusive. A lot of people thought it was a problem, that he was too nice, but I thought it made him even more scary because if he's not physically violent against Sally, he's still clearly psychologically abusive. Though it seems like Sally is able to manage him a bit.

Just remember that abuse isn't always physical, that you can be abusive without hitting anyone.

The gods

I can say I like how the gods that appears in this first season are portrayed!

Dionysus is so manipulative and bitter, I love it! Even if we never say it in the series (from memory), it's obvious that he doesn't want to take care of the demigods, and I love it!

Ares is wonderfully portrayed as a being who has a real passion for the war ! For example, we see him having fun on Twitter and, later, Grover succeed to convince him to talk to him by talking about less-known wars. He also has that wonderful vibe of "don't mess with me or I'm going to beat you to death".

We don't see Hephaestus a lot but again you feel it's someone confident who is a very skilled blacksmith.

I love that as soon as we meet Hades he's very welcoming and behaving in a very "I don't care about what's happening with my brothers" way. He just want to protect the underworld and, again, it's obvious.

Zeus is incredibly intimidating which, again, I love so strongly ! I can understand why no one would stand to him.

Finally, Poseidon is a very loving dad who can't do much for his son but is trying when he can try. I also love how, at the end, he ends up standing to Zeus to protect Percy. Then the very awkward interaction he has with him because the didn't talk much, Poseidon was mostly absent, but he still love him.

The adaptation

Now, of course I'll talk about the adaptation. And I'll start this part by a very personal story: how I discovered Percy Jackson.

I started my discovery with the movies. Actually with the first one only, I didn't want to watch the second one because I didn't understand why it would have a sequel. I thought it was enjoyable, though very cliche, but far from the best movies. As I didn't know the original story I thought it must have been an adaptation of a very average book series who must have gotten a bit of success and has been adapted because Hollywood didn't have any idea anymore.

Then I finally read the books because a friend insisted it was good, and Internet was talking about how it was full of representations... And now I hate the movies ! Because I considered we could have gotten incredible movies out of the books ! But we didn't...

Honestly I'm not angry that the tv series made so many changes. Because it wasn't exactly my problem with the movies. My problem was it made changes that didn't make any sense, transformed the story into something very cliche and sexist, and wasn't respectful of the mythology when the book was.

I'll only give one example that angers me a lot: Grover's case.

In the book Grover is a very sweet, kind, brave and goofy character who love his friends and even more his girlfriend Juniper! He's very likeable, and a good protector for the demigods he's in charge of.

In the movie he's not likeable at all. He's a goofy character and likes Percy but he isn't sweet and only think about girls... Like you have a scene where he decides to stay with Persephone because she's hot... He clearly isn't sacrificing himself at all. Overall I don't think he's likeable, I thought he was kinda useless and annoying.

In the tv series... He's kinda goofy but not too much, and he's sweet, kind and brave. More than that, he's considerate and I actually like that he's clearly intelligent in this show because he lived longer than Percy and Annabeth. He's not entirely faithful to his book counterpart but the changes make sense and he's still very likeable and I want to hug him so hard !

For now, I'll conclude there. I'll probably rewatch it and make a new review later but I don't want to say I'll surely do it so I won't have pressure. That first season wasn't perfect but it was pretty enjoyable and I can't wait seeing what they're doing next. To be fair, The lightning thief wasn't the best book of the series so I understand it wasn't as fun as the last books.

[striderl]

I have a general art-related question, if that's okay. I admire how _quickly_ you seem to be able to produce art -- whenever someone sends you a character-based ask, you seem to always answer it with a nice little picture (not just a scribble or something) with lineart and often colouring too! Do you have any advice for acquiring art stamina like that? I used to enjoy drawing, but got burnt out on it because every piece felt like so much WORK and it drained the enjoyment for me. I absolutely could not match the output you do!

Thanks for the compliment, lensman! Your drawings are equally cool too! I'm engrossed in the textures especially. And yes, sometimes I’m even amazed by the many asks I’m able to answer in a single week. Usually, I answer them within 3 days, in rare occasions, it may take me 2 weeks or so to answer them.

As for insights, there you go.

#1: Practice is the key. To not get art block, you need to be constantly practicing, like doing scribbles on your sketchbook when you have time. It can be anything, from basic shapes to “whatever you can spy with your little eye”. Also, improve your speed while doing it, and limit your time to finish an acceptable rough draft, so you won’t lose the motivation to finish the entire drawing.

#2: Mastery. READ THE MANUAL AND INSTRUCTION of whatever platform you are using to make art, and master the tools, so you won’t drag on too long on a single project. Personally, I use a mixture of Procreate and ibisPaint X to make art and comics. And the skills don’t come for free, you need to constantly learn new features in order to keep up the pace and limit the time you spend on each project. Honestly, I think I spend more time on Youtube, Pinterest, and Instagram scavenging art tips and resources than doing other things with them. The result is rather rewarding, the knowledge I gained about the color wheel, anatomy, and platform features like multiply and overlay are really helpful.

#3: Reference. I always have available anatomy or art references on my side, usually from Pinterest, so I don’t need to waste time speculating what the result would look like. I also collect references I’m interested in whenever I have time, so I’m well prepared whenever I want to start a new project.

If you want to check it out, this is the cover I made for Foley’s playlist, which I finished within 3 hours.

#4: Motivation. You need to truly enjoy the process of producing art in order to not get an art block. I think I never get a single art block period so far. Why? It’s the only way I get to relieve my anxiety. College can be really harsh sometimes, I have a really small social circle, and on top of that I need to deal with stress which most of my peers don’t even need to worry about, like managing an apartment, doing accounting on my own, taking care of electric bills, and more. What’s worse is that people can be massive suckers sometimes, and I just turned 18 a few months ago. I know I can’t just throw a tantrum or jump off a building whenever I feel stressed, so I just move on and focus my attention on doing better in art. If people want to insult me, I just insult them back with my talent.

Also, I mentioned this in my reblog to your Skibidi Toilet anniversary post. My parents don’t approve of me doing art like this, because it’s “unrealistic” and basically “useless”, I just want some space where I can express my creativity. Ironically, defiance can be a motivation sometimes.

Plus, I just purely enjoy the feeling of sitting in my room, listening to my favorite playlist, and sipping on a cup of hazelnut matcha, while doing art. And I always, ALWAYS appreciate people putting comments in their reblogs, it’s like an accomplishment, and it shows that people really check out my content and READ IT, instead of “wow, cool art”.

If I don't feel like doing art, I'll just go for a 5 miles run instead. Physical health is still important : }

[iwasonthelastbus]

5 Years ago today, I began my art journey. As a kid, I did draw and paint, but my perfectionism got the better of me and I quit, feeling art was too stressful for me and that I'd never be good at it. I tried taking art classes in grade school, but I instantly shied away from it. I went through school for the longest time feeling like I wasn't good at anything. That changed in the summer of 2019. It was then I decided I really wanted to try and improve and not waste away my summer wondering what to do with all the time. For the longest time I wanted to draw a story I had in my head that thinking about helped me get through the lonely times of school. So, I made this first sketch of Aridus

(Summer 2019) I wasn't very good at first, but I felt proud in the moment that I was drawing something and that I was liking it. My dad saw me drawing on empty individual sheets of paper and got me my first official sketchbook. I felt like I would never fill up all the blank pages, but I was glad to have something where I could have all my drawings compiled. I began to improve quickly, refining ideas and applying drawing fundamentals, feeling more and more confident with it. This definitely wasn't overnight, but I learned to love trying to draw better while not being too hard on myself. After 5 years of learning, I've felt so happy to see where I am now.

(Summer 2023 to now) Now, I'm taking art classes in college and plan on majoring in Illustration, where I hope to be able to use my skills to touch other people's lives and bring them joy. That's the very purpose I believe that we were created for, for mankind exists "that they might have joy." (2 Nephi 2:25) Our happiness is of the most serious business to God. The things we create can greatly shape our view on life, and its more important than ever that we fight against feelings of perfectionism and fear that keep us from making and doing wonderful things. To all starting artists out there, pick up your pencil, pen, whatever you have, and draw!! You won't regret it. One day you'll look back and feel so proud of how far you've come.

[magicaldragons]

writing.

things i've learned throughout the years

speaking from personal experience, writing, whether it's for a fic or an original work, is a process that comes to everyone very differently. which is also why it took me a WHILE to figure out what worked for me.

you've definitely heard this one before, but: 1. do not worry about making your first draft perfect. it will seem terrible, and that's ok.

it's the most common writing advice i've always heard as well, and i always understood what it meant, logically, but it was a piece of advice that was very hard to follow.

the second i gave myself permission to suck, though – the moment i said "i'm going to write trash," is when everything started flowing so much more easily.

it helps IMMENSELY to just push ahead and write whatever comes to you in the moment. do not start searching up synonyms. (yeah, i see you) and if you hate a word or phrase, put a *** next to it and come back later. chances are, you'll change your mind after seeing it from a new perspective, or be able to come up with something to replace it with.

it's always easier to edit than write from scratch, so give yourself material you can edit.

2. write for yourself. write what you love – what you would read.

it definitely draws people in more than any formula you think works or a piece you deliberately craft for a specific audience.

3. as long as your writing is comprehensible, grammar means little in front of the emotion your work conveys

i've read so many works that have left such a profound effect on me, solely because i could feel the amount of heart the author poured into it, it's always easy to look past minor mistakes, as long as what the writer says makes sense.

4. most importantly, when you're starting on that path of developing your writing skills, don't show your work to anybody. hear me out:

i've written about seven stories (for various fandoms) that will never see the light of day – not because i dislike them, but because i now realize, i had to write them for me.

and these stories (and the evident progress in my storytelling skils across all of them) are what give me the most confidence when i doubt my skills.

you can always share your works in the future, but the first couple of times you venture out with a vision in mind, make yourself your audience, it prevents you from diluting your ideas with expectations of other people's perceptions.

+ and finally, a bonus point:

a lot of the writing process, is just discovering yourself, in various ways

i always used to hear writers say:

"my characters did this on their own" or "the story just wrote itself like this"

and i never understood, because MY characters never did anything of their volition, in fact, they refused to do what i intended for them to and it would be a struggle to write a scene sometimes

and again recently i had that same problem, where i couldn't for the life of me, figure out how to describe a character performing a particular action. i waited for days for any sort of inspiration or logic to strike me, but it wasn't working.

i surprised even myself though, when i highlighted the whole section and deleted it.

but as soon as i let go of writing that one scene the way i'd planned it, a completely new option presented itself, and writing THAT scene was so much easier.

so no. my characters never tell me what to do, but they tell me what they don't want to do, and the realization that common experiences in writing will manifest differently in different people, really made me realize that writing is something you should follow your instincts in.

technicality-wise, you will always keep learning and improving. growth never stops.

so it's important to do what feels true to you, and do it in a way that makes YOU feel comfortable, whether that includes taking risks, being spontaneous, or starting small.

that's when some of the best things are created.

[sakarrie-creates]

It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me. 

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following:     1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music      2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail      3. Fanworks for other people’s fics      4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art      5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!

[cq-studios]

Questions for 15 Friends Tag Game

Tagged by @corishadowfang ^^

Rules: Answer the questions, then tag 15 people.

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Not that I know of. I think my middle name was after someone but, if that's the case, I don't know who.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

This weekend watching Days. That game breaks me every time.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope and don't ever plan on it.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

Uhhhh, none.

I tried out for the basketball team twice in elementary school but didn't make the team either time. That school, and especially the coach, had it out for me though (I am neurodivergent had behavioural issues so they didn't let me do much).

If it counts, I was on the Improv team in middle school. That was a ton of fun and I would've kept doing it into highschool if the teacher who was in charge of the competitions didn't retire (no one stepped up after that)

Other than that not really anything.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Oh definitely. I grew up in an incredibly sarcastic household lol

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Uhhh, I haven't really thought about it...

Probably hair? That's how I tend to recognise most people, which is most definitely unreliable (thanks for that brain lol).

Shout out to that one time my friend got a drastically different haircut than usual, didn't tell me, and I didn't recognise her until she spoke to me lol

WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Brown.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Definitely happy endings. I have absolutely no tolerance for scary things.

My pour soul got nightmares so easy as a kid I wasn't allowed to watch Scooby Doo because it would keep me up at night lol

ANY TALENTS?

I'd feel weird saying anything artistic, because honestly I consider those skills more than talents (since they're something I actually work towards improving and not something that I can just do for some reason lol).

So alternatively, I think my talent is simultaneously have the worlds worst and best balance. Like I can fill up a cup completely (and I mean completely, there's a meniscus and everything) and I can bring that up to my mouth without spilling a drop, but at the same time, there have been several occasions where I have fallen out of chairs while doing nothing but colouring. I can walk across a completely rounded balance beam (like curtain rod look and size) eyes closed and backwards, but walking I'm tripping every other step.

I can also quack like a duck so convincingly I've tricked hunters lol

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

I'm not entirely sure...

Somewhere around the southern Quebec-Ontario border I think?

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Drawing, animating, reading, writing, and playing video games (and doing stuff for local theatre productions if that counts).

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Yes, currently I have a dog, Neve. She's a Golden Retriever-Labrador mix and she's very strange.

My brother also has a cat, but she lives in the basement and I never see her lol

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

I couldn't tell you the last time I measured my height, but I'm only a bit taller than my mom (4"11 and a bit), so probably 5"-5"1.

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

Chemistry.

I love chemistry. I love balancing formulas. I love the experiments and demonstrations (even if when I was doing them I kept burning my hands... I swear I was being careful I'm just cursed lol). I love learning about all the elements properties and stuff. The math isn't awful (like in physics). And it makes me feel smart.

DREAM JOB?

My dream job is whatever I have to do to be able to make my own show (my current plan is making an indie studio) and also being able to make a living off of doing tables at cons.

I'm actually slowly but surely working towards both right now. A lot of just saving and planning at the moment but I'm getting there.

Gonna start applying for grants soon-ish, so wish me luck lol

I don't really have 15 people to tag so, uhh, open tag I guess lol

[ultimateinferno]

Something I learned recently as an artist that took me 10 years to settle in is how to balance the different parts of art. I don't mean like composition, value, form, etc. I mean different exercises that are in complete opposition with one another are equally important. Honest to God just learned this right now.

Like, there's taking things slow, really chewing on artistic principles. Doing studies, breaking down reference images and going through the meticulous push and pull of refining your drawing. That's what I personally have basically been doing for a while now.

However, there's also a virtue of throwing all of that to the wind and seeing just how fast you can get stuff done. One of my art professors for a life drawing class told a story about a pottery class. He said that in that class that professor would tell the students at the beginning of the semester they could choose to be graded between two options. The first was quality. They had to make a single pot for the entire semester, and would be graded on how well made that one pot was. The second was quantity. When the semester was over, the professor would take out a scale, put all the pots on it, and if it reached a certain weight they'd pass.

Our professor told us that the students who picked the quantity option ended up producing better pots by the end of the semester than the quality students. Because the cycle of making and completing pieces was invaluable. They were able to bounce back from their mistakes much more quickly because all they cared about was getting stuff done.

This life drawing class ended up being my boon and bane. At this point, I was a "quality" student. I'd take my time with pieces pushing and pulling at the lines to get things just right. When I signed up for the class, my most common subject was people, so I thought it would be easy. However, the thing about life drawings is that there's an actual model before you, and they're not always very good at staying still, especially depending on the pose. So when the 20 or so minutes were up, I would have like a single arm done and nothing else. I had to push myself to achieve something in those 20 minutes. I was the slowest artist in the class. I knew much more theory and fundamentals, but none of that mattered cause I had nothing to show for it. Then poses started getting shorter. 15. 10. 8. 5. 2 minute poses. There was no time to analyze I simply had to draw.

Over the course of that semester I got better of reaching those time limits. By the time it was over, I put down my charcoal and returned to my drawing tablet. Art took me so long that I can only focus so much on an outlet at a time. I could either take classes or draw in my free time. Never both. When I started drawing over the summer, I noticed something: I was faster. My poses were better. I was able to sketch, ink, color and shade a piece in three days. That never happens, it would take me a month to get things just right beforehand. Yet now, even with art pieces where I was allowed to be slow, my speed improved greatly.

And this is because I was put in a class that looked at me and said "I don't want quality. I just need finished pieces. You need to turn in a piece every day." Yet this isn't the "lesson" I'm talking about. I think it's actually very much both. Quality and quantity.

You need to spend long hours breaking down anatomy or values or other fundamentals, to really digest them. You also need to put your feet to the fire and just get shit done. They're both very important skills to learn. Focusing on quality builds up your repertoire and artistic encyclopedia so you can produce artwork from a place of understanding. Focusing on quantity, meanwhile, is all about going through the motions. Learning when to accept "good enough" and apply the knowledge gained from your long-form studies and turn them into instincts. This lets you go back to the studies and build upon your knowledge using the shortcuts gained, continue building up more details to your skills.

Without ever focusing on quality, you will be repeating the same artistic mistakes over and over again with minimal improvement, never actually learning anything.

Without focusing on quantity you'll be so caught up in the details and the studies that you'll be stuck at step 1 indefinitely, breaking down each new part and be cursed to never finish a piece.

Focusing on one is already hard enough, so two would be difficult. However, as a part of the greater process, you don't need to focus on both at once. So long as you keep cycling through taking your time to get things right, and forcing yourself to get things done on dietary occasions, each practice will feed into themselves and each other far more than anything in isolation.

[upthenorthmountain]

One nice thing about drawing the same character over and over is that it lets you see your progress. I feel like I’ve made a fair amount!

When I drew that first picture in September 2014 I was 32 years old. I’d always wanted to be able to draw, but just never got round to it or knew how to get started. Like a lot of people, fandom is what inspired me and gave me the push I needed. It’s the most amazing feeling to be able to draw now, to be able to get down what’s in my head, to make things I love and am proud of. I know I still have a lot to learn but that’s where the fun is!

If you’re one of those people always thinking ‘wow I wish I could draw’, here is how I did it:

I worked through the book You Can Draw in 30 Days by Mark Kistler, which a friend recommended to me (if I'd known then about the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards I'd have used that too, but I didn't. It's good though)

I filled up a couple of sketchbooks with terrible drawings, mainly figure studies from quickposes.com and bad drawings of my blorbos

Finally thought I had something good enough to post, posted it, received so much support and love that I carried on, and I honestly cannot thank all of you enough for that

Kept drawing and drawing, making myself do the things that were hard or that I thought were above my skill level (harsh truth: you will never get better at the hands if you don't draw the hands)

After a little while I thought 'I wonder if I can use my iPad as a drawing tablet', and started using the Procreate app (then about £4, now about £10 I think, still a flipping bargain), first with my finger, then with a stylus that came with my iPad case, then with a slightly better stylus I bought on eBay, then two years ago I got a better iPad and could have a Pencil which is AMAZING

I have also recently taken two Procreate courses on Domestika which taught me a lot of things about drawing in general and Procreate in particular and I should probably have sought this information out sooner! They were Atmospheric Scenes in Procreate: Paint with Color and Light by Ramona Wultschner, and Female Character Portraits in Procreate, by Natalia Dias, and I would recommend them both

And I kept drawing a whole bunch and my friends were super encouraging so I just kept going and didn't stop

I have tips! Things I've learnt along the way

If you use Procreate, look up and learn about clipping masks, alpha lock, streamline, liquify, Gaussian blur

Don't worry too much about brushes, I mainly just use the hard and soft airbrushes and two versions of round marker (one with low streamline for sketching and one with high streamline for line art). I have a spotty one for freckles and that's about it really for what I use 99% of the time. People will try and sell you brushes by making you think you'll be able to draw like them if you have the right brushes but you won't and you don't want to draw like them anyway, you want to draw like YOU

Use more layers than you think you'll need, you can always merge them later

You will suck at first. You will suck so bad you will want to cry. But you have to be terrible, it's the only way to get to not terrible. The only way you STAY terrible is if you give up

Just when everything seems awful and everything you draw is crap and you don't ever want to draw again, that is when you must KEEP GOING and PUSH THROUGH because you are about to level up. Persevere just a little bit longer and soon you will be staring at your own hands thinking 'HOW'

Drawing is a learnt skill. There is no such thing as Talent, just people who've spent longer learning and practicing than you have. Eight years ago I couldn't reverse park my car, either, and then I got a new job where it was really handy to be able to reverse park in the car park and now I'm really good at it. You can improve at anything if you're willing to put in the time! GROWTH MINDSET!!

[likegemstone]

I have been in a really good groove with creating lately, and just with like "working" in general. In the past, creating has often involved a massive and constant mental wrestling match against myself—second guessing every decision, fighting through constant discouragement, rarely if ever feeling confident in what I'm working on, etc. Just all this emotional/mental exertion on top of the regular emotional/mental exertion that goes into making art.

But lately I have felt really in sync with myself—we're dancing instead of wrestling. I've been brave enough to try out new things that I've never done before (which is REALLY hard for me, like REALLY hard), and been able to notice and accept the areas of my work that I can see need improvement without beating myself up bc they aren't "good enough" yet. It has been really nice, and has shown me that, when I can care for and take responsibility for myself properly (which I now have the skills and tools to do thanks to a lot of inner work and also therapy), I can learn, grow, and improve pretty steadily, and without all the agony of that fucking exhausting wrestling match.

However.

I made a post recently about how I want to draw Daivad getting his ass kicked (and also kicking ass), right? That is in great part due to the fact that I was, at the time, rereading Kengan Asura/Kengan Omega (which is an MMA manga) and I was Very Inspired. And I still am. I've been gathering reference and inspo ever since then. And today I ran out of Haikyuu!! to watch so I was like okay now is the time—I want to draw some sick action scenes with Daivad.

But then. Here comes the anxiety. The overwhelm. The "there's no way you can pull off some sick action scenes—you can barely place characters in a scene and make it look legit, you want to try to do multiple characters interacting in a scene in extreme and dynamic poses?? no shot. and once you try and inevitably fail then you're going to be discouraged and start beating yourself up again and you'll ruin this momentum we've got going on."

So, this post is going to be me using those tools and skills I have now to work through this. Because I know I can. I've done it before.

First skill I'm going to be using: recognizing what exactly is triggering this anxiety, and figuring out a plan to care for the Part of me that's triggered. I want to ensure I'm making my decisions from Core, not from a triggered Part, and I also want to ensure I'm caring for those vulnerable Parts!

I think the thing that is making me feel so anxious and overwhelmed is because dynamic action scenes are so far out of my comfort zone and I haven't come up with a plan for connecting the dots of my current skill to Dynamic Action Scene Skill. It's a whole big leap, and that Part of me sees aaaaalllll of those, like dozens of really tricky dots that I have not mastered yet (perspective, composition, conveying movement, dynamic poses IN perspective, and so on) and is like "!!!!! HOLD UP THAT'S TOO MUCH I CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT ALL AT ONCE. Trying to master all that stuff will take literal years and probably good money to pay for lessons from people who know wtf they're doing!!"

So, I'll care for that Part by saying: That's true! And it's okay! I'm not going to try to get the perfect action scene down right away, because you're right. Trying to force that would absolutely wreck our confidence and be really frustrating as well. And I appreciate the reminder that biting off more than I can chew can knock me back a few steps. Small bites are best sometimes.

Next skill, now that that Part has calmed down a lot and also feels steadied: coming up with a plan. I want to draw Daivad getting his ass kicked, but don't currently have the skills to pull off a whole Dynamic Action Scene yet. So how am I going to meet that desire/feed my inspiration (Daivad getting his ass kicked) while still protecting my Parts, challenging my skills, and caring for my mental health?

One dot at a time.

I could start with just breaking down some of my favorite panels from KA. Examining how Daromeon frames his scenes, how he works with perspective, how he conveys movement, etc. But specifically I want to see Daivad getting his ass kicked—so maybe I'll start with just one pose that feels doable for my skill level, use KA as reference for the pose and put Daivad in it, and since I have gotten decent at capturing his likeness, I can challenge myself to put an extreme expression on his face and still have him be recognizable. That's totally doable—it'll take time and work and lots of effort, but it's doable! And it will bring me one step closer to Dynamic Action Scene skill level!

Alright, now I'm feeling excited and fired up and also I have an exact pose in mind and I think I already have it saved somewhere, so I am off to draw Daivad, Bloody and In Pain. Wish me luck y'all!

[facade]

art vent, kind of makes me look like a shallow person

FOR clarification i'm 20. turning 21 in two months. yippee! what an eye opener

the point of trying to profit your art, especially using your art to help fund for survival since you were 11 - you realize that while you want to improve your art for yourself, you're so consciously aware of what parts would appeal to strangers who see your art.

because you don't want to appeal to others to enjoy your art, you want to appeal to others to garner money and funds. i've ebegged on this site for almost a decade, on so many different accounts and even used my art as much as i could to get even more money. to pay bills, to pay for food, to help my mother in medical emergencies. since i was only 11 years old, by the way. a lot of the time, while it is a huge part of my reason to keep improving -- i don't actually think of reasons such as improving my art because 'i want to go to college' 'i want to be better' as much as my main reason being: i want this to sell to people.

that being said, my art style is something im so happy with right now for myself. but i think like. you have to really make your art your signature. that way, people will want to buy what you can give them. but algorithm is just, so hard to fight with now. the heartbreaking part is that, even if i'm at my 'peak' in art.

and my art has always been my one consistent interest, thats never faded. it's apart of my daily life. my routine, my medicine, my hobby, my enjoyment. i need this to live in many different ways. whether it be for providing my funds via commissions, coping art for trauma, or generally to express my happiness for things in my head, etc. i need this hobby or i will die. its the one skill ive had my entire life thats stuck, and its something i'm *good* at. and i've kept up with it to this day.

my art looks consistently good. flattering. i would say at some points it feels.. professional, sometimes. i am consistently proud and satisfied with my art and haven't struggled on pieces as much as i used to several years ago. it took me 2 months to come up with illustrations. now ive been pumping them out with ease. commissions are so much faster. quicker. ive really upgraded. i'm efficient, quick, and my stylization journey has been amazing.

yet..

this has been the hardest i've ever fucking struggled to make money, ever. since i was 11 years old. i've never.. had so much difficulty. i feel spoiled, honestly, when i know so many other artists struggle filling commissions too. but i've always had good fortune, i guess. good luck. but not since the year began. it's been so hard to fill in requests, so hard to fill slots. even when my prices are cheaper, it's still so hard. which is crazy, because 2 years ago i was consistently filling slots like crazy. i had consistent income, for the most part. i was able to help my family, avoid eviction, pay for water, clothes, food. emergencies like car wrecks, medical stuff -- god, its insane how much my art has helped me. it's scary. to think about what woulld happen if i didnt have this skill.

back then, like my art looked like this in 2021.

i look back and i wonder. this is fine, its definitely my art style. but how did i makee so much money off of stuff like this? so much more than i do now? i still draw fanart, and my art's been getting better. i think its honestly just bad luck, or maybe algorithm has flopped a lot of my stuff. either way, it's sort of humbling. Extremely humbling, that even with all this improvement - it still may not be enough to get me anywhere. i've never struggled before, trying to open commissions even when ive always focused on original content primarily. i know its hard to get popularity when you only draw ocs, but ive been fine for the most part. getting by, until lately.

i think i'll just have to keep working harder. see what people enjoy, but its just really ego crushingi think. And i could care less about popularity or anything. i think the really awful part is that im just stressed all the time about how i can keep making money off of this when its been so hard to even fill slots, let alone gaining peoples interests. Is this competition related? is this just a shit time for artists? am i just flopping. Who knows.. ohwell. ill survive

[randomwords247]

It's about time I address the elephant in the room: WHAT HAPPENED TO HILDA AND THE LOST FUTURE?

So, for anyone who doesn't know, in I believe early 2021 I started a comic called Hilda and the Lost Future, based off the episode the 50 year night. I haven't updated this comic in a while and I know I've had some people ask me when it'll come back

A tl;dr for anyone who wants the short answer:

It will be a while. It's not my current priority or main interest, but I absolutely want to get back to it at some point: When I do, it'll be from slowly working on multiple pages in the background which will eventually be posted every week when I have a big backlog.

For anyone wanting any more information tho, theres a number of reason's its been a while

A big one is burnout. I got really heavily burnt out I believe late 2021 and I haven't done nearly as much drawing as I would've liked since then

One of the factors for why I had so much burn out was university - For those of you who don't know, I'm currently a University student, specifically I just finished my second year meaning I have the Big Boy Dissertation coming up for my final year. I also had a job until late last year which I'd work during my uni breaks so I had like no real break.

Uni has taken generally just a lot of my time and energy away from me and it's because of uni that I haven't been drawing much. I'm still tryna get back into drawing way more regularly and it's a little disheartening that in some regards I'm a tad rusty, but I still enjoy drawing way too much to quit

Another issue that doesn't help is, as I'm sure a lot of you have noticed, I've been bitten by the minecraft bug quite bad. Or more that it's come back from the grave because I swear my minecraft obsession never truly left. And like as a result of that I've even been making my own videos! It's been really fun and I'm having a blast. I honestly have been finding making videos really fun and a nice escape from uni, plus a good excuse to draw (thumbnails). Outside of the game itself I've been very into a lot of mcyt fandoms, currently I am loving watching hermitcraft and I have loved bansmp (a series by my friend bantaro) and its been a blast being able to be a part of that series which I've loved watching.

I still like Hilda a lot, don't get me wrong. I'm just way more focused on other interests at the moment and with so little time it kinda leaves you prioritising, and I definitely lost steam with my strict schedule I put upon myself.

So, where does that leave us?

I know initally when I started the comic I had a lot of people offer to help out, help make it and things. I still am sure that I do not want this, as much as I appreciate peoples' offers.

One of the main focuses of the comic, outside of telling a story I have planned out, is to improve my drawing skills and make a comic from start to end by myself. I also know I'd be too particular with the way things would be done to want to pass it to someone else, and I don't want to like hand it off. It's something I want to do for myself, and again it's a way for me to improve my drawing skills. I mean heck, from the pages I've done so far I already vastly improved my ability to do backgrounds and perspective.

My plan is to work on pages in the background, not give any real estimation of when I'm working on them or not or when to expect them. Just a slow work on them every so often as I focus more on other things. That way, when I eventually get say (as an example), 10 pages finished, I'll do an announcement and I'll post the finished pages spacing them out a week at a time, to give myself a buffer. If this like makes me passionate enough to bump out one a week like I originally did, I'll do that, but if not then I'll repeat the process of slowly working on a bunch and posting them all after a lot are finished

So yeah! For anyone who read this far instead of just reading the tl;dr, I appreciate it! I know its a long and probably overdue talk on things, but I thought it'd be worth talking about because I've been thinking about the comic a lot lately and how I wanna get back to it. I just also know that like, I don't wanna burn myself out with it again so it'll be more of a slow project to chip away at.

Again currently my main focus has been youtube (link in pinned post), and if you're enjoying that then I'm glad to hear! I have another video that I'm hoping to get done before next week, though I've come down with a cold so it might be a little iffy on that front. Otherwise, hope you all have a nice day! :)

[skele-girl999]

I was just writing a ROTTMNT fanfic based around Future!Rise Mikey and I went off on a tangent immediately explaining how I think Mystics, Magic and Ninpo work. Thing is, it doesn't work with the scene at all, and I can't think of any planned scene I could appropriately put it in. At least not one within the near future.

My solution? Copy paste the whole thing onto Tumblr and see what other people think of it, while I keep a copy stashed away for future reference. You never know, I may get a cool idea to add on from someone else.

Head Cannon/Lore Drop below:

"Mystics, magic and Ninpo were all different, despite how similar they may look from an outside perspective. They had different activation requirements, different tools, and they also just felt different to use. But they also behaved very differently as well.

You could do just about anything with magic, your only limitations were the strength of your conduit and how much power you could extract from the world around you. Though it did require some skill and practice to use, and was in fact the most difficult to learn. Mikey couldn’t do magic, as its complexity made it a bit of a dying artform.

The people of Witch Town were the only ones who had any mastery of magic, and they were among the first to be taken out during the Krang invasion's first attack after they got the Technodrome.

Mystics are a little easier, if more directionless and physically taxing, not to mention limited. They depended deeply on someone’s personal energy reserves, and it was influenced by your emotions. Someone with low or no mystic energy would not be able to use mystics, since they would have no power to give. And for the people who do have power, they would be restricted by only a few abilities based on their personality and nothing else.

Draxum described Michelangelo as a warm, lighthearted person with a vast imagination, who could quickly turn dangerous and highly destructive when provoked or desperate. This is why he could use fire, gravity manipulation, and make solid light projections, but couldn't create ice, or control plants, or some other ability like that.

It helped that he had such a large well of energy to draw from. The largest amount of mystic energy Draxum had ever seen in a single person, in fact.

Ninpo, unlike the other two, was a lot less understood. It was one of those abilities that only a select few could have gained and only unlocked under very specific circumstances, like Chi, dreamwalking, prophecy, or true enlightenment.

But, after having their own Ninpo studied and the few remaining records of the power examined, Donnie and Draxum managed to pull together a working theory on it.

Basically, Ninpo is the ability to use one’s deep emotional connections, specifically family, to harness major facets of their personality and project them into some kind of power. The take of this give tended to vary, most likely based on the strength of the user and the aforementioned family bonds, but it seemed to be focused on the body.

It messed with cellular growth, the consumption of vitamins and minerals, and the production of hormones. All of this often led to an increased ageing and health problems. Though Draxum and Donnie were hesitant to solidly confirm any specific symptoms, considering the apocalypse was a breeding ground for premature ageing due to stress and health problems caused by horrible living conditions anyway.

Ninpo also seemed to be hereditary, which was something that they couldn't really figure out an answer for with their circumstances. Not only did they have a limited sample size, but all of them being from the same family meant no diversity, and them being mutants also messed with the research.

The two scientists of the family were very bitter about this, but did still try to work with what they had."

And that's about it! Now go, my fellow turtle fans, give me your opinions and theories. I wish to see how I could improve what I've written (and maybe rant about the fic this was written for).

[avathestarwarrior]

Hey there Ava, I wanted to say something in regards to those posts you recently made about your characters and art as a whole. Apologies in advance for the essay ahead, I had a lot to say and I really feel passionate about this because, hey, I've been there and I don't want to see you discouraged over this. First I want you to know that you aren't alone- when I was your age and still learning the ropes of art I felt exactly the same. All my friends around me what felt like suddenly jumped in their skills and only perfected their characters (design and story/personality-wise) while I sat stagnated in both. My characters were one-dimensional and I had little to no understanding of the major principles of art. And without a doubt, it is discouraging because they're being noticed for it and I hadn't made any ground in improvement at the time. This is a horribly common feeling especially for those without any access to formal training/teaching and beginners alike. Most of my friends lived in places where they could easily gain professional guidance and tools (usually through college, many countries allow you to jump to college while still in mid-teen years onwards), while I remember having to teach myself everything and struggling to learn even the most basic digital programs. Neither my high school or college (that I went to art classes specifically for, even the introductory ones) ever went in-depth when teaching the basics, and so generally I never had that strong foundation all my friends built onto. It's painful, but it's going to be okay because there are ways to help this. Now real quick, I'm going to go ahead and address what you were saying about your characters and art. Being completely honest, you were one of the first people I followed when joining this site, and I've really enjoyed seeing your work. While you may think that others would ignore your work over currently higher-skilled artists, I need you to know that there is a certain joy in watching someone find their way in a skill and grow within it. Drawing and designing characters (and yes, even writing them regarding their backstories/personalities) is a skill. For some, naturally they jump off and fly right away, with little to no friction. But for others? There may need to be a little more guidance and work. Some people also learn more slowly than others, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. You do not "suck" at these things. You just may need more supplementary sources to help guide your growth is all. That leads me into my next point;

When I said that you aren't alone in this, I don't just mean "I've been there". I also mean, there's an insane amount of free sources that are online you can use to push yourself forward. Pinterest has a lot of good references ranging from 'how to draw this' to 'something I can use for inspiration' and you can easily amass a huge collection for just about any of your drawing needs. Also YouTube! I stagnated in my art and designs for years, but when I started actively seeking out tutorials my skills slowly-- very slowly-- grew and I was able to not only learn new things but also build off of them from there on. Some of my favorite tutorial/art/design tips channels are: -Marc Brunet (short and sweet, easily digestible tutorials on drawing from a professional game artist turned art teacher. Just about anything drawing related is on his channel). -Brookes Eggleston - Character Design Forge (a channel specifically for improving character design (and a few tips on personality qualities as well) and some of the principles you can use to apply when designing). Both of these channels also have tips for the whole mental aspect of these things, which is very encouraging and helps when trying to get out of a mindset that may be hindering you and your progress, including artblock and feelings of inadequacy. I apologize again for the long ask, but I really hope this helps you in some way! Know that you're not in this journey alone and that with some time and a little bit of guidance, you will improve-- which I want to also say that it's much easier for others to see than for you to. At the end of the day, try to be a little more compassionate towards yourself, because it can only get better and I know you're doing your best. The fact that you're posting your art and characters online like this is already inspiring enough to many who are afraid to even start, and I genuinely mean that from experience. As scary as it is, maybe ask some of your friends or artists in general that you look up to for tips, most people are happy to provide insight on their work when asked politely- and definitely seek out some resources for yourself as well, those that I mentioned are without a doubt a good start. I wish you all the best of luck, and please take care! <3

Thank you there friend for this long ask. After reading this, I think I forgot something important! I already know these things and I have't tried it out recently! Thank you so much for reminding me and everyone who might come across this that we are indeed not alone. I am truly touched and I'll make sure to never underestimate myself again! Sadly I don't know exactly who you are (Although I assume you were like the first one to like the rant post I just made) but thank you again. And I hope that maybe you can like DM me? Anyways, thank you so much!

[galactic-pirates]

So for StarTrekFemSlash week I am contemplating:

Seven and Raffi - obviously - I mean in my heart they are kinda “the main event” hehehe.

Keyla Detmer and Joann Owosekun (Jola) - because they are so obviously canon despite not being canon and deserve all the love.

Seven and B’elanna - because I hadn’t really thought about it until I saw some people talking about it and then yeah, I liked the idea.

Kira Nerys and Jadzia Dax - just because I don’t know it’s fun and certainly better than most of their canon boyfriends that I have seen (not quite reached season 4 yet as apparently Worf joins in season 4 and I am trying to watch all of TNG first).

Not sure what I will manage (especially with my current health) but I like turning the possibilities over in my brain.

To be honest sometimes I think I like contemplating projects more than putting in the work to make them real 🤣 after all there is endless potential in the unrealised - it could be great! - rather than the sad reality of my skills or lack thereof 🙃

Anyway I watched a really amazing YouTube video recently which broke down art into various skills in a very clear and understandable way. I have always tried to make the best final product I can which means a lot of ‘cheating’ in terms of some basic foundational skills. I trace rather than properly understand form etc. So I am thinking thinky thoughts about how to move forward in my art journey and whether I can bear to produce something that looks worse, but is done without the crutches and will therefore hopefully develop my skill longterm.

I suppose as my absolute dream is to be able to pick up a pencil and just draw something. I really should work on those foundational skills or I will never be able to do that.

Considering looking back at the utter garbage drawings I posted a few years ago (I did one that took me like 30 hours but was appalling for a gift exchange!!) I am so embarrassed. But maybe as I did that perhaps I should not worry so much about moving into a more ‘natural’ drawing area and it not being so good with proportions etc. while I practice to improve. I don’t know.

Librarians prompt month list is also up and I think 18/30 prompts speak to me on some level. So that will be interesting. Again not sure what I will manage to do and the deadline for that is July posting, whereas I think the Trek is September? So I need to organise myself accordingly.

Now if I could just stop feeling so damn tired that would be helpful!

[chuya-chuya-blog]

Congratulations to the winners of the My Copic Moment contest. I thought third place was super talented and would come in first, actually. That person is really skilled. Second place is really charming to me. It looks like a children's picture book and makes me feel nostalgic. The perspective in first place is really good.

I was bummed when I saw I didn't win. Call me a sore loser, I don't care! I really had my hopes up! And it was super disappointing to see I didn't even place. Is my art bad? Were my concepts bad? I don't know. This is also coming on to the realization that I will not be able to enter the Pixiv Global Contest that I wanted to, either.

I had PLENTY of time to complete an entry for that contest and continue working on my own web comic afterwards but I just couldn't find the motivation. I had a cute and funny concept and I really enjoyed drawing it but eventually the motivation just died. Somewhere between my usual struggles with making backgrounds look like anything but bland boxes and my inability to draw dogs, my drive turned to fear, and I just froze.

I would sketch here and there but just couldn't bring myself to do my absolute best. I'm ashamed because I've always been this way when it counts. I just couldn't buckle down and do it. Not even the free three years of Clip Studio could get me to do it. And I really wanted that too! But I guess I just didn't care enough. I couldn't make myself do the work. And it's not like I'm still a kid, either. I'm a full blown adult who can't manage discipline and time management and it's embarrassing. So many people around me have been able to get stuff done through consistent steady work and I can't figure out how to manage myself. And no I don't have ADHD. I actually got really REALLY good grades in school. So I can do the work when it counts. I just couldn't do it this time.

It's worrisome because if I want to start making money off of my art, I have to be able to meet deadlines. I have to be able to finish things. I have sooooooooo much trouble finishing things! I don't know what's wrong with me! It's why I barely post because I can never finish anything. Sometimes I'll be really motivated and will love a piece I'm working on, but I'll just put it somewhere and forget it exists. I really wanted to produce more work in 2024, but the fear that I'm not actually cut out to be an artist is creeping up on me. I have to improve my focus and discipline this year!

This sucks, but I wanted to be transparent. One of my resolutions this year was to draw a lot more and complete a lot more art. I haven't given up, but I need to improve my workflow. I need to work out the kinks beforehand so when I get to a road bump I can navigate it. This whole time I put my other projects on pause because I HAD to complete this contest entry...and got nothing done. I was completely stuck in some weird limbo and could not make it out. I did do the script and layout but after a while, I just didn't CARE. And when I don't care, my art immediately devolves and when my art devolves, I start hating myself for drawing crummy art. The gag is that when I'm drawing random things in my sketchbook without even thinking, some of it comes out SO COOL! It's part of why I opened a sketch dump!

I wanted a publisher to notice me and say, "wow, she's good!" But I can't seem to get my artwork to agree with me when I want it to. I can't even win a drawing contest! I didn't even get an honorable mention! (And that hurts, I thought I'd AT LEAST get mentioned.) This isn't a one time thing, either. I have NEVER won an art contest, NEVER had my work accepted to a magazine I submitted to. The ONE time I got second place in an art contest was something I did in high school and was just screwing around because I had no idea what to paint, and was sure an "official art contest" wouldn't accept anime art. And you know who won? Someone who drew anime.😐 (I was SOOOOOOO mad! Are you toying with me, universe? Are you telling me art is not my calling after all?)

What if a publisher DID contact me and ask me to draw something I don't care about? I have the worst discipline ever, and if I can't force myself to do good work when I need to, then I am of no use to them. I've accepted that I'll probably never do commissions, either.

If a publisher comes across this post, I don't mind. A bad work ethic is bad for business and the manga business is tough. They want people who grind HARD. It's well documented. We've all heard the stories about the mangaka struggle in Japan. And I've been in the workforce long enough to know that employers don't care about your feelings or your mental health. They only care about the results they can pay you pennies for. And that's life.

I'm still happy with the art I did for the My Copic Moment contest. (It's actually one of my favorite pieces in my portfolio right now, and I want to draw more pieces like it.) I actually want to try and enter their big copic contest for the year now, but wasn't going to because I only have like five markers of theirs and for this contest, you HAVE to use their products. But maybe I can screw around and mysteriously win this time. (The grand prize is 300 markers! Or something like that.) You can draw whatever you want, too. Maybe I'll do something really really crazy. I'll just unleash my emotions on the canvas like the first episode of Barakamon. (And then he went right back to struggling with his work. WHYYYY are we like this?😭)

I've also decided to set some time aside for scripts and planning. Since my excitement tends to come in waves, I'll try to get pre work done so I can heavily focus on a task at hand when the time comes. For instance, since I'm scripting right now, I'm really excited about the stories I'm making and fleshing out the plot points for them! I love coming with ideas and dumping my creativity out whenever I can. So if you give me a paper and tell me to just write, it feels so freeing. I'll hopefully work on these scripts and come up with a bunch of cool stuff to draw this week. Then I can do the layouts and get excited about the focus on flow and design of the pages. I tend to come up with new ideas and change my mind about things during the layout stages, so I'm going to proceed with caution. But for now, the plan is set and I'm going to move forward. The task is a lot less daunting when I have my ducks in a row.