#my partner is the only person who has ever been attracted to me or complimented my appearance ever

[amazinglyashy]

hi hi~ i have a silly request if you're interested (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) can i request the lads men's (pre-relationship) reaction to the reader introducing them to their boyfriend? but plot twist... its a fictional virtual boyfriend! just like the game love and deepspace LOL who would get jealous? who would have beef with a fictional man?? /JK

PS: im not sure how to say this properly but u like, write them so attractively 😵 if that makes sense, like the little quirks u give them and the dialogue, whoo weeeee 100/10!

This made me laugh because I still remember introducing my bf to my Obey Me boyfriends and kept trying to figure out which one was the most like him so he could buy me merch of them and push his personal agenda. Sadly none of them are like him, but now that I play LDS, Rafayel sure is! Thank you for the request! I had fun with this one! (And oh my gosh, that's such a compliment!! Thank you so so much, it means a lot!!)

Pre-relationship LaDS men react to your fictional game partner

Rafayel -

Who would have beef with a fictional man?

Rafayel would have beef with a fictional man.

He did not wait centuries for you, searching high and low for his lost love in every dark alley and bad idea that came across him- to lose to a bunch of pixels on a tech screen.

Truthfully, he knows it's all in good fun, and he's not completely jealous. He's actually pretty glad you found a nice outlet that helps you with relieving stress from you day to day. He knows you need it.

He's just... going to be now competing secretly with a fictional figure.

He thinks its secret.

You know what he's doing.

Why else would he be asking you what the latest event is in your game with your fictional partner, and then miraculously a week later you're receiving the very same things or experiences in reality on your day off?

He's not slick at all, and honestly, you find it pretty endearing.

But also, something you won't ever consider- is maybe he's doing those things for you, not only to make you happy, but to show you just how much attention he pays to the things you tell him about.

That's okay.

You don't need to know that part.

Zayne -

Zayne is not at all threatened by whoever this 'Jumim Hen' guy is.

Yes he is mispronouncing it on purpose. No he will not correct himself until he's gotten enough humor out of it and frustrated you enough about it.

Once that happens, he'll start pronouncing it correctly and if confronted about his change in pronunciation, he will pretend you need a wellness check and request you make an appointment with his secretary.

Smooth way to spend more time with you while subtlety calling you crazy.

He mostly does just think it's cute, though.

He will buy you food from places that might be having game events that get you special merchandise or in-game prizes, even if you don't realize there's a surprise event happening because it wasn't advertised in your game.

No, he's not weird and expects you to stop playing once the two of you start dating. He realizes it's something you enjoy a lot, and he actually finds a lot of pleasure in listening to you ramble about situations that are happening in your game.

He finds most things you do endearing.

Sylus -

You're giggling over it, that's all the matters to him.

He is rubbing the bridge of his nose though, because you had been building up to this moment for over a week and he was convinced you were going to show him an actual psychopath or something and he was going to have to figure out a way to make the man disappear without you realizing it was Sylus's doing.

He probably won't make any vague comments about how your fictional boyfriend is strangely similar to himself and that maybe you have a type.

Probably.

(He will make one per day.)

(At least.)

Once you're dating him, he has some access to your device and the game, simply so that he can reload your currency whenever you go to sleep. He doesn't want you to run out, and he knows you love playing. What else is his money good for if not for making you smile?

Doesn't understand it, but he does make mental notes of your current progress in the storyline and which characters you like. But sometimes he'll pretend to forget an important detail.

He loves hearing you babble about anything, after all.

Xavier -

He was a bit confused at first, but figured out what was going on rather quickly.

He thinks it's adorable, like when he first found out how much you love claw machines and the plushies inside of them. He doesn't see it as much different- the love interests are your plushies in the game, and your fictional partner is your favorite "plushie".

Easy.

Xavier has lowkey cosplayed your game boyfriend at least once, acting innocent about it and as if it was completely unintentional.

If you're dating by then, he lets you 'borrow' the clothes, so now you have an article from your game, but it also smells like he does. He's only allowed them back once they lose their scent.

He only accepts gratitude and payment for the favor of wearing them again in the form of snuggling with him on the couch, his arms wrapped up around you as he nuzzles into your neck.

He needs your "help" for a little bit.

It's the least you can do.

[lordofdestructionm]

Reading Mordecai Heller as a repressed gay man

The tragic attraction

This is a full post based on my response to a great analysis by @sedgewick-gayble

Let me start by saying that if you read Mordecai as being totally asexual/aromantic and any affection he has for other characters to be entirely platonic that is entirely valid and I respect that

However as this response by Tracy makes clear on the topic of fans reading Mordecai as gay there is an intentional ambiguity about it. Being 28 at the time of the main story his "lifestyle is certainly asexual" up to this point, yet "being ace and being gay are not mutually exclusive things" and people sometimes "don't know themselves or understand their own motivations all that well"

This leaves the possibility open that Mordecai is actively repressing his natural desires and feelings

Mordecai's early life didn't exactly provide much time or opportunity for "self discovery", even by the usual standards of the less than tolerant and understanding world of the early 20th century

Being born into an impoverished family and having his father die very early in his life leaving him and his Mother and two younger sisters in dire straits, Mordecai had to get to work and assume adult responsibilities pretty damn early.

As Tracy says "selling newspapers wasn't going to cut it" and so using his natural talent with numbers Mordecai starts bookkeeping for the mob. Is it any wonder someone with that background would develop such a serious and rigidly buttoned up demeanour?

Since being forced to abandon his mother and two sisters at the start of the 1920s and flee New York, being picked up by Atlas's due to his habit of collecting useful strays, Mordecai had very few people he was close to in St Louis. With his generally anti-social personality and not only lack of interest but discomfort with any sort of flirting or romantic entanglements, that would be unlikely to change

Side note: Probaby coincidence but

There are only two people who seem to make it onto that exclusive list of people that "count" for Mordecai, who he cares about and are able to bring things to the surface he would normally keep hidden

Atlas to Mordecai is not just an employer, he is the man who saved his life, the man who moulded a desperate fearful shabby young stray into the sharp professional he is today, who took him under his wing and made him his protege. Filling the empty space his father left in his life. His grief and desperate hunt for those responsible for his death are his big motivation (the strain of which is slowly tearing him apart)

That connection is undertsandable

Much more surprising on the surface is the bond with the partner Atlas teamed him up with soon after his arrival, Viktor Vasko.

The assumption at the start would have been that while their skill sets might compliment each other in the field there would have been no warmth in their dynamic.

Certainly not on Mordecai's part as Viktor appears to be a sum total of many things Mordecai hates. Viktor is unshaven, relatively casual in his attire, speaks a broken English, and hates people chattering or “noise, noise, noise” as he calls it. Clashing hard with his obsession with good grooming, high quality tailoring, correct grammar etc. Indeed Mordecai doesn't hesitate to nag/criticize Viktor for these things

Yet at the same time Mordecai has far better chemistry with Viktor than with anyone else, able to banter and bicker with him in a way you rarely if ever see with others

Its why when he gets tailored clothes for the first time Viktor is the first person he wants to show off too. Its why the one time he is intoxicated Viktor (and his large physique) are his chosen topic of converation. Its why at Christmas/Hanuhhah he gives him the gift of a tie while claiming its just because of the big guys poor fashion sense and that its "embarassing to be seen with him" (even that justification makes him sound like a nagging girlfriend)

A smaller detail is that during their iconic chess playing in the side content, set during their days staking out the remote town of Defiance, Viktor is shown very casually winning the game much to Mordecai's visible distress

This is hilarious but could also be taken as a metaphor for Viktor (possibly without even realizing it) breaking through his defensive emotional barriers

Something Mordecai doesn't know how to handle or respond to

The animated short only adds fuel to the fire

During their dispute over strategy Mordecai moves his face so close to Viktors that he almost knocks his cap off his head. His eyes at one point even dart down towards his mouth

Sharp eyed Vikdecai fans have also noted that Mordecai seems on some level to want the two of them to match

The tie being the same colour could simpy be Mordecai giving Viktor one of his own ties because its a joke gift and he just grabbed it on a whim to tease Viktor about his poor fashion choices

But think about the matching suits at the New Years party for 1926

I mean, seriously, not only is it the exact same style of suit in the same blue-grey colour distinct from everyone else, but they are standing in the perfect spots to be symmetrical to each other. Something that we all know means a lot to this compulsive man

Mordecai must have known there was going to be a big group photo ahead of time and then carefully planned this

Got matching suits made to his and Viktors measurements

Then most impressively convinced/nagged Viktor into cooperating (he may have taken off the tie and rolled up the sleeves but hey him playing along at all is quite a compromise from Viktor "I hate dressing up" Vasko)

Mordecai is intent on making Viktor retire and get out of danger, and avoid a situation where he gets sent to kill him by Marigold because he knows he could NOT do it, and his cover and investigation into Atlas's death would be over

He is horrified that Viktor is still working at Lackadaisy (though he again has to hide how much he cares) and that he has gotten not only hurt again but hurt by Mordecai again (albeit this time indirectly by stealing the guns)

Can this be read as simply platonic comradere? Absolutely

But there is something so *intense* in the fact he was willing to resort to kneecapping him. Its an extreme and desperate act that could only result from intense emotions, seemingly out of character for someone who tries very hard to appear logical and controlled.

While Vikdecai is a very fun ship when imagining them as an actual bickering married couple, I have often said that a tragic one-sided on Mordecai's part version of Vikdecai is the one that fits closest and surprisingly well into the canon.

His nagging and complaining about Viktor in that context take on a Tsundere aspect, both to protect himself from being found out and maybe even try and convince himself the uncomfortable alien feelings aren't there. He not only doesn't want others looking too hard at his feeling he doesn't want to examine them himself all that much

There is a heartbreaking but appealing angst to the idea of this extremely repressed man having such feelings for the first time in his life for his straight best friend and NOT knowing how to handle that. Having to perform the balancing act of being around him so much as his partner but being painfully aware that he can't let anyone catch on, especially not Viktor himself, as it would likely destroy his bond with the only person in town other than Atlas he is close to.

Though tragically he did that anyway later via the kneecapping, which while about trying to keep Viktor safe, he may now looking back try and tell himself its actually somehow "better" for Viktor to hate him for that

Because the big guy now wrongly thinks the feeling is mutual and that Mordecai never really cared about him, which may be better than (what Mordecai assumes would be) disgust at his partners doomed more than platonic feelings

Because he sees those feelings and his situation as a sad perfectly structured joke life has played on him

[dangerouslyknown]

Hi! Please do headcanons for gojo like you did Higuruma x

Satoru Gojo Headcanons 💎

A/N: Thanks for the request! My JJK obsession is hitting like a truck. I hope I delivered these Gojo headcanons well, mwah

Contents/Warnings: General headcanons, relationship headcanons both SFW & NSFW. Reader/partner is referred as "his S/O" or by they/them so gn!reader

General Headcanons

He used to play Moviestarplanet. He was sooo popular too. He had lots of friends and he made the silliest movies/artbooks which people loved

He likes to sing and usually he sings whatever is stuck in his head on random occasions, without really trying to sound good

...but oh boy if you ever get the chance to do actual karaoke with him... He sings beautifully when he puts the effort in. What a gorgeous voice, it almost surprises everyone

He goes crazy about Lady Gaga's songs and he loves to do silly little performances whenever he hears any of her songs

Gojo is also a Swiftie???

Somehow I feel like he is TERRIBLE when it comes to spending money. He hasn't had a day in his life where he had to worry about financial stuff, so...

He's the type of guy buy an expensive ice cream machine, then accidentally break it and buy a new one like it's nothing

He used to troll people online as a teen...

Actually, he probably still does it for the heck of it. He isn't one to do anything super offensive, but he enjoys messing with people

SFW Relationship headcanons

He hasn´t been in many relationships in his life, mostly because he rarely lets anyone close. Bro has trust issues :(

He dislikes being vulnerable in front of others, but his S/O is who he shows his true self. It is not something to take lightly

He KNOWS he is attractive and it flatters his ego when he is complimented on it, but if one wants to win his heart, you need to go deeper than that. He wants a person who truly appreciates him beyond looks

His love language is gift giving. He will gift his S/O anything they desire, and it´s his way of showing he cares. He gets excited like a kid in a candy store when he brings his S/O something and waits for them to open the gift

Most of the time it doesn't even have to be anything expensive. Of course he likes to spoil his S/O, but sometimes he just sees something small, which reminds him of them and he decides to buy it

Then, his unofficial love language is being annoying. He would ask "would you still love me if I was a worm" and whatnot

Related to that, he would act all smug and probably provoke arguments with his S/O just to entertain himself (but he's not malicious about it of course!)

When he sees something romantic, he would say "Ewww, sappy romance stuff" and then do exactly those things in private

He likes to show off with his relationship? Y'know, like posting about it in social media and PDA

This also ties to when he holds great pride in the thought that he's able to protect them no matter what. Maybe he's also a bit jealous and likes to show others that his S/O truly is his, and only his

Looooves to dress in matching clothing with his S/O!

Also, if he'd play online games with his S/O, he'd definitely want to do matching usernames (Sometimes it'd be cringe, but that's a part of why he loves doing it)

(NSFW under the cut)

NSFW Relationship headcanons

Leans towards being more kinky tbh

This man likes to have fun, okay? He is super adventurous in the bedroom. He's always coming up with new ideas for his S/O and him to try, and he usually is the one to initiate

He'd love to bring in ropes, blindfolds, toys of all kind and everything you could think of. He wants to use them on his S/O, but isn't against the idea being toys or ropes used on him either blindfolds wouldn't even work on him though

He´s a fan of playing with the dynamics. The vibes he gives is 50% pillow princess and 50% daddy, so there's never a dull moment when he switches up things with his S/O

He lives for teasing in the bedroom. You are not going to get anything easily from his arrogant ass: If he's a sub, he's going to be a brat. If he's a top, you need to beg him

He is capable of being serious during intimate time, but most of the time there's going to be funny and goofy moments

I could 100% see him doing something like slapping his dick against his S/O's face, then grin. At the same time it's hot but it's also hilarious (in his opinion)

Speaking of his cock, I think it's bigger than average. Length is impressive, then girth is more average-ish

Definitely very vocal during sex. He will not shut up whether it's whimpers or dirty talk

I think he loves to fuck his S/O from behind. He loves to kiss the back of their neck, their shoulders and all over their back while going at it

[msookyspooky]

Ayo,, I don’t know if you’ve done this yet but the Hooker Clan with a chonky s/o???

Idk it just makes me smile and twirl my hair and shit.

God Sidney this is late as hell but I need more Sev and the gang in my life 🖤

I'm doing everyone but Homer I know that's not fair to him in reality but he's physically 12. So, there's only platonic with him and he would not care at all considering he hates his child form and would be grateful for a companion no matter what.

Hooker's w a Chubby S/O

Jesse Hooker

- This man is old as dust. He comes from an era where beauty standards were drastically different than they are in more modern society. In fact, he probably doesn't CARE about them. Who gives a fuck what some magazine says? He's seen decades of drastic beauty changes and his gaze is no longer human. He wears what he wants no matter how outdated and he loves what he wants no matter what a magazine from the 80's-20's might say.

- He wouldn't bring up your body type whether thin or fat or muscular or chubby unless you do. Not because he's avoiding it. He truly does not care. Like, to him, you having a bit of love handles or a belly is just a part of you like a freckle or a strand of hair or your freaking arms.

- If you ever are down about your body image for any reason; THAT is when he's telling you 'C'mere darlin'." And pulling you into his lap. He doesn't sugar coat anything because he feels that's insulting your intelligence and that you'll value honesty like he does. He'd be the type to openly tell you 'Yes, you have fat and yer a bit more plump in places but that ain't news. It's a part of you but there's worse things in this world than a bit of extra somethin to grab onto. I'll take all of you I can get." In that calm gravely voice while holding you close and trailing tender kisses on your shoulder and neck.

- He's a very relaxed partner while still being dominant in a caring way...And that's because in private he can let his guard down and be very soft with you. He loves using your soft belly as a pillow when you both sleep during the day. Enjoys running his hands over your sides absent-mindedly. Just loves being in your embrace.

Caleb

- He may be flustered and hesitant by you because you're attractive to him but he's never been with a chubbier person before on account of how his hick friends would've acted. He's not repulsed at all! More along the lines of you're something entirely new to him.

- Anyone says anything about your body and he's punching them. Severen would probably help for the helluva it.

- His Daddy taught him to never bring up a persons weight, especially a woman's if you are one and by God he sticks to that. Even if you tell him it's fine he refuses, terrified he'll offend you even if he's complimenting your body so expect vague polite borderline shy compliments at first.

- Once you're a couple he can't get enough. Loves to hold onto you or lift you up and wrap your thick thighs around him.

- He definitely tickles you all the time as an excuse to feel how soft you are under his hands

- Wear something tight and he's smitten. Has a goofy grin on his face and looks like he falls in love with you over and over again.

- If you're ever feeling insecure in an outfit he automatically wants you to wear it! Just so he can admire you in it.

Mae

- Mae grew up with the same standards as Caleb but she's always been a more insightful girl that branched off from what society thought. She's a hopeless romantic that would love every inch of your body.

- She doesn't hide her feelings for you and like Jesse she just views your body as a part of you. She doesn't hyper focus on it but will compliment you more than Jesse might. She romanticized your body type instantly, comparing you to Greek sculptures she saw in art class and smiling fondly at you while she describes you.

- Thinks your cute and your chubbiness has her undead heart warming a bit when she sees you wear something dainty.

- Expect her to hug you randomly or to snuggle up to you when you both sleep. She says you're the best teddy bear she's ever had.

- Gets upset with you if you ever feel insecure because she loves your body! She'd just cuddle you in bed and kiss every part of you you don't like. She thinks your stretch marks are like lightning and your cellulite is so soft to touch and that she loves you and will tell you till you love yourself even a smidgen as much as she does.

Diamondback

- She loves your body! She uses terms like 'voluptuous' or 'husky' or 'curvy' to describe you depending on your gender as well as where you gain it but you could gain it all in your belly and she'd still love all of you

- She's busty herself and would encourage you to wear revealing outfits and to show some skin. She's a bit jealous but it's a double edged sword because she loves seeing your body and you comfortable in it but gets possessive if someone oggles you...It's just an excuse to love all over you when you both settle in for the night and show you you are hers only.

- Loves kneading your hips or caressing your thick thighs. She's the type to pull you close and tell you how breathtaking you are just because she can.

- If you ever get self concious she'll remind you how much she adores you and that if she can love every inch of you in abundance than what else matters? You have a woman in love with every inch of you standing right here waiting for a kiss and your embrace, dear.

Severen

- Like Jesse he's old as fuck and came from an era where even though women wore bustles and corsets; they were also rather full figured under it in a lot of cases and even in cases of more petite women back then the beauty standards were just different. He grew up loving all bodies as long as they were pretty/handsome to him.

- He LOVES your body. He saw you and instantly wanted to follow you and flirt with you like a lost puppy or a boy with a crush; bless this newer generation that didn't hide all that under layers and layers and corsets! If you're not female presenting then he is still in love because he's a sturdy guy that can get a bit of softness in his belly as well. Nothing but love from him.

- Now fair warning, he's brash and rude. He called Jesse an old saddlebag, Homer lil boner or lil buddy knowing how Homer feels about his childlike state and had endless insults for Caleb in the movie. So it's not saying he may not poke fun at you by calling you his 'chubby bunny' or patting your belly or something and if you're not comfortable with it you better be upfront because he doesn't mean it maliciously; he just likes to bully a bit out of love but if he EVER saw he hurt your feelings he'd be the first one begging forgiveness and apologizing.

- He is so damn handsy with you. Don't like him gripping your love handles? Too bad, they fit his fingers perfectly. Feel insecure of him grabbing onto your belly or arm fat or thighs while cuddling? Welp, he's gonna do it till its second nature to you. Trying to hide your double chin? Nope. He won't let you. Good luck telling this in your space, touchy, impulsive, passionate, crude man you only want him to touch 'none chubby' areas ever. Like hell!

- Lifts you up constantly and purposely makes you feel small no matter how tall or wide you are. It's just his dominant presence and how he treats you.

- He loves to cuddle into your thighs or belly when you're laying down. Kissing and nibbling every chance he gets. Your thighs make great pillows.

- If you wear something revealing or tight this man is practically like those cartoon wolves that are whistling with their eyes bulging out. Expect to have your hips grabbed or ass smacked the entire night.

- If you're ever insecure about your body he's dumbfounded and even annoyed. Whaddya mean?! He's pulling you in his lap or in front of a mirror and telling you every body part he loves while caressing and kissing you and telling you in a dominant tone how silly you're being. You're the love of his life, you're not walking around here feeling ashamed of your body. No sir, not around him!

- Like Caleb he loves your thighs around him and if he's kissing your soft sides or belly and finds out you're ticklish? Game over; he will do it constantly now.

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Alexis Rose, David Rose and Stevie Budd with a Nonbinary S/O

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Pride Month 2024 #7

Transmasc edition (for Alexis only)

Relationship(s): Alexis Rose x nonbinary!reader (romantic), David Rose x nonbinary!reader (romantic), Stevie Budd x nonbinary!reader (romantic)

Warnings: Typical nonbinary/trans-related stuff. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: My Schitt's Creek fics haven't performed as well as a lot of my other fics, presumably because people aren't really looking for Schitt's Creek reader-insert fanfiction. But, for my own self-indulgence, I've decided I'll keep writing for it. I have an idea for a fic where the reader is Roland and Jocelyn's (adult, obviously) kid, and they're secretly dating Stevie, because of course Stevie doesn't want to deal with Roland for as long as she can. So, if you'd be interested in reading that, please let me know!)

ALEXIS

I feel like Alexis’ past is so colourful that she must have met at least some nonbinary people in her time.

But, I feel like she hasn’t had to think too much about them before.

She’s 100% cool with it, even if she doesn’t completely get it to begin with.

You’ll probably be the first nonbinary person she becomes actually close with.

When she’s getting to know you, I can imagine her being confused about how to refer to you.

Like, when she’s complimenting your appearance, she’ll cycle through a list of slightly (and needlessly) gendered adjectives.

“Oh my God, you look so… handsome? Pretty? Which one’s right?”

But, she’s really good at using the right pronouns for you.

When Alexis starts to develop feelings for you, she’s, ever so slightly, in a state of crisis.

Not because she has anything against nonbinary people.

She’s just never been romantically attracted to one before.

It’s new, and it’s scary.

Not to mention, she knows the absolute bare minimum about nonbinary people.

She’ll go to David to learn more, because he’s dated plenty of them.

He’ll insist that she try to ask you questions if you’re open to it.

She’ll stay up late on her phone doing her own research.

And, it means so much to you when you find out.

If you do end up talking to her more about your gender, it will likely be a catalyst in bringing the two of you together, because it shows you how much she cares about understanding you.

When you finally get together, Johnny and Moira also want to get things right.

Instinctively, they’ll go to David, but, to David’s amazement, Alexis is able to answer their questions herself.

Like with any romantic partner she has, she hypes you up so much.

She does everything in her power to let you know how much she loves and supports you.

Though, as the relationship goes on, she doesn’t think much about your gender.

If you want to change your style at all, she will be more than happy to take you shopping, or browse an online clothing store with you if you’re more comfortable with that.

And, if your tastes are different, she’ll step back and make sure you stick to what makes you happy.

Schitt’s Creek is a very accepting town, but, if someone deliberately misgenders you, she’ll be the first to stand up for you, if you’re not comfortable doing it yourself.

“Um, excuse me?”

And, if you’re feeling dysphoric, she’ll try her best to make you feel better by showering you with affirming and sincere compliments.

Basically, she’s the ultimate ally to you and you feel so lucky to have her in your corner.

DAVID

This isn’t his first rodeo.

So, you don’t need to be nervous about being with him because of your gender.

He never makes a big deal of you being nonbinary, which is refreshing when so many people have no idea how to handle it.

Unlike Alexis, there’s not much for him to learn besides your personal experience with who you are and what you prefer, since it’s different for every nonbinary person.

And, as for the things he does have to learn about you, he will ask and listen.

For example, he needs to figure out if you prefer neutral, masculine and/or feminine terms and compliments.

Because, there will be a lot of compliments.

He makes sure to assure you that you can tell him if he ever gets anything wrong.

Like, I can imagine him making a minor mistake, and then you sheepishly correct him.

But, he notices how awkward you seem to find it, so he tells you that you never need to be afraid to tell him what you want/need because all he wants is to make you feel comfortable.

Johnny, Moira and Alexis realise how much you mean to David, so they’ll try their best to get things right, too, despite their lack of specialist knowledge.

When you and David get together, David will be bombarded with questions (tact varying) about you, such as how to address you and speak about you.

But, that is one of the reasonable questions that was sprinkled into the sea of utterly bizarre ones.

I can see Johnny emphatically introducing you to people as ‘[his] son’s nonbinary partner’.

It becomes a running joke between you and David.

And, I love the idea of David telling you all of the silly and charming ways his family tries to show their support of you when you’re not around.

He's absolutely dying to dress you up.

He has so many outfits planned out that'd look stunning on you (that's what he insists, anyway).

You don't have to wear any of those outfits, though, if you don't want to, since David’s sense of style can be a bit much for some people.

If you’re willing to try anything, he will be thrilled.

But, if your style choices, in clothing or haircuts, differ from what he would have chosen, he will support whatever makes you happy.

If you ever encounter anyone being shitty about your gender, he’ll encourage you to stand up for yourself, or passive-aggressively do it himself.

If you deal with dysphoria, David will be so affirming.

Like, normally he affirms you anyway.

But, when he recognises that you’re not feeling great, he will up his game.

He’ll also ask what he can do to help or what you need from him.

So, yeah- he’s unapologetically so supportive of you.

STEVIE

You’re her first nonbinary partner- congratulations!

She knows enough about nonbinary people that she is able to treat you like a regular human being.

Not being awkward about or fixating on your identity comes pretty naturally to her.

(Though, like with all of her friends, she might make the occasional deadpan quip, without being degrading, because Stevie doesn’t discriminate)

But, when you’re friends and she realises that she has feelings for you, she’s acutely aware of the fact that she doesn’t completely know the complexities of your personal identity, which she should probably know because, y’know, communication and all that.

She finds the idea of directly addressing it too awkward.

And, she’s too embarrassed to admit to you that she doesn’t know but that she’d like to know.

So, she confides in David about it, and he insists that it’d probably mean a lot to you if she opened up about her desire to understand you better.

So, she does.

She approaches you sheepishly.

And, when she’s asking you, she avoids eye contact.

You’re surprised to see her being so sincere, so you decide not to respond in the normal banter-y way you speak with her, out of fear she’ll never be sincere again.

In fact, you really appreciate her wanting to understand you better.

But, you don’t lay your gratitude on thick because you know that will scare her off, too.

She will listen to whatever you have to say, not interjecting with little remarks like she might normally whenever you’re speaking.

And, once you’re done, she’ll say a quick ‘thank you’.

And, you’ll smile and say ‘thank you, too’.

Like with Alexis, Stevie taking an interest in understanding you better is what brings you together.

Again, she doesn’t make the fact that you’re nonbinary into a big thing, and she’ll normally only acknowledge it as it comes up or with the occasional joke.

But, she knows that nonbinary people can often be treated like they’re confusing or strange, so her way of making you feel comfortable is by treating you like the regular human being that you are.

If you’re dysphoric, she’s silently terrified of making it worse, so she’ll ask you what you need from her and act accordingly.

(She may or may not ask David what to do the first time it happens when you’re dating)

She’s not like David or Alexis where she’ll be outwardly and constantly affectionate and loving with her actions and words.

But, she’ll always listen to you, whether you’re venting about a shitty interaction, or expressing any discomfort with your appearance.

Like with David, she likes to have a laugh with you whenever people are being weird or not normal about your gender (if you find it funny, of course).

And, if anyone’s an ass, she’ll roll her eyes.

Then, when you’re alone, she’ll make sure that you’re okay, and say something like, “Obviously, they’re an idiot who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.”

It’s her subtle way of being affirming.

[cbsxreader]

If you're not too busy and literally whenever you find time (I mean it, literally no worries)

Could I request CBS reclining in a chair or hiding in his snipers nest spotting his S/O through his scopes lens and forgetting about his target entirely.

Cw: (Swearing, asassination, cheesy af)

Christian spotting his S/o and getting distracted

Christian's POV:

I climb the final steps of the ladder leading up to my nest. I reach the top and take a look around.

"Oi haven't been here in a while.."

Everything looks like it's about to crumble beneath my feet. Either I didn't mind it when I came up here regularly or it really has been a while since..

I take a few steps forward, slightly bending down to look outside through the nest's wall opening. I search for my target and spot someone who looked similair to the picture I was given. I fling my rifle from my shoulder and look through my scope. It's him. I smile and chuckle to myself.

Looking over my shoulder, I spot a crate by the wall. I place my rifle down and bring the crate over to the spot where I'm going to snipe my target. The floor slightly creaks as I sit down.

Fuck, better kill the target and get out of here before this toothpick contraption bails out on me...

I push my shoulders back, preparing for my rifle's recoil.

"Roight, let's get this over with." I say to myself as I look through the scope again.

The bloke's still there. I steadily aim at his head and put my finger on the trigger.

"Say goodbye to your head, mate!" I whisper to myself, grin forming on my face.

Then something behind the target went by. Or someone. I couldn't get a glimpse of their face but they seemed famillair. I scrunch up my face in slight confusion. I had seen those clothes somewhere...Could it be?..

I quickly avert the scope to the direction where I had seen this familair figure go.

"Bloody hell, it is them!" My eyes widen.

I see my love through the scope, my mood immediately becoming better at the sight of them. A grin grows on my face again. Only this time, I smile because of a heart-warming feeling inside my chest, not because I was about to kill a man. Before we were in a relationship, I had denied this feeling over and over again, but..it felt..nice once I embraced it. Because of them, I wasn't ashamed or embarrased about it and I've never been happier in my life. It's hard to believe, sure. Me, the mighty and feared Christian Brutal Sniper, turned out to be able to love someone.

There was just something about them that made me feel things I had never felt towards someone before. For the whole time we've been together, I've been trying to figure out what it was. What exactly made me love them.

I let my muscles relax as I continue to watch my love through the scope. Maybe it's their style? Their personality? Their looks? Their rutine and habits? Their voice? Their smile?? I really couldn't put a finger on what I found so attractive in them.

Ah, piss and what if they need comforting and I don't know what to say?..What then?

I rise up from my scope in my realisation.

Fuck..I don't know how to comfort a person..even if they weren't my partner I wouldn't know what to do..Maybe I would just assure them that I will always love them..But then they can ask for something specific and then I'm screwed again..Has love always been this difficult??..

I look through the scope again and spot my partner.

Alright, what do I like about them..hm..They always cheer me up!..Even now, without knowing it. That's one. Uhh...They always look good..oh, wait, people don't like it when someone says that they like them for their looks..Maybe if I say 'their style' it won't sound so bad..nevermind, that's still kinda about looks. Don't people say it as a compliment?

"I like your style." I say outloud, listening to my words.

Nah, people usually use a plain old "I like you"...this word play can go to hell...

Wait, have I ever actually told them that I love them?..No, I definetely have..a few times...

Suddenly, someone approaches my partner. Oh shit, it's my target.

I aim at his head and quickly pull the trigger. A shot rings out and the bloke's forehead is ruined. My partner falls back from shock and I decide to check up on them.

"Don't worry, love! It's just me!" I call out to them from my nest.

They turn to my direction and look up. They're still clearly in shock and trying to steady their breathing, staring at me with wide eyes. Maybe I should come down..

A bit later

"You alright?" I ask as I approach them.

"You scared the living hell out of me.." My love spoke.

"Yeah, Oi kinda got distracted and forgot about my target.." I rub the back of my neck, feeling guilt about not warning them about my mission.

"Why did you get distracted?" My love asks.

"Oi..um." I stumble over my words "..well Oi saw you and couldn't stop thinkin' of ya'.."

My love's cheeks became flushed "Oh..is that so?" A smile rises on their face.

"Yeah..." I cann't help but smile along with my partner. I avoid their gaze though.

A moment of silence falls upon us.

Should I tell them?

"Sweetheart?.."

"Yes, Christian?"

I get lost in their eyes before speaking up.

"I love you."

My love's eyes slightly widen. They let out a light, heartful laugh before looking at me again "Where did that come from?"

"Whot? I can't say that Oi love you?" I smile again and slightly turn my head to the side.

Their smile fades a bit "It's just..you don't say it much. You don't really say these kinds of things at all."

"Oi know" I start "Oi was left alone with my thoughts for too long and realized that Oi haven't been open to you, so Oi decided to do something about it."

Another small moment of silence passes.

"Well, in that case.." My love speaks up again. They gently place their hands on either sides of my face and bring their lips to mine. The kiss is a bit short, but I am eager to hear what my partner will say.

"I love you too, Christian."

Btw I'm so sorry to anyone whose requests I still haven't finished. (I'm still struggling with school asignments and motivation, but I'm still going to try my best for you all :,) )

[cocoartistwrites]

I love the agony aunt idea! You give great advice! In that spirit, I do have a story hehe:

(context) I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and he’s very nice and also very conventionally attractive. I haven’t ever had major major self-image issues, but I would consider myself to be pretty in an average way. Anyway, this girl from my work (I work in an office) asked about my boyfriend and I showed her a picture and she’s like (in a certain tone) “Wow, you would think he would be able to date a model or something”!!! I was gobsmacked, can you believe! It’s literally something in a high school movie- I’m TWENTY SIX.

At first I just thought it was funny & dumb and that maybe I had even misunderstood her meaning, but I honestly don’t think I did. And now I have been feeling kind of bad about myself! I didn’t tell my boyfriend and I realized it was because I didn’t want to plant the seed in his mind that he was too good for me. That’s crazy! I feel like I’m sixteen and it’s so stupid and shallow but GAHH. I don’t really know if this is an advice question but hmm wish I could get over it. Hope you get some entertainment out of this if anything!

I am SHOCKED tbh that is very rude but also I do think probably says more about her and her view on life and herself than it does on you? We all know the most beautiful women with apparently very substandard men, and I think there’s a general trend where, viewed in a purely physical context, men are more likely to date women who are judged more conventionally attractive women than them. BUT!! This is, when taken case by case instead of societally, absolute nonsense naturally — lots of very handsome men also appreciate a good personality, that’s not something women have a monopoly on.

So specifically for you: this person is obviously not a great associate so don’t trust her but also now that you know her opinion is a bit trash why hold yourself up against it? You should only be concerned with the opinion of people you respect and also, as we all know, of total strangers on public transport.

So sweep her views aside into nothing and we get to the crux, which is why you didn’t tell your boyfriend. I actually think that’s good initially - if you’re anything like any of my friends you’d have tried to make it funny and come across just a little too tense. But it has obviously exposed a sensitivity that I do maybe think warrants some very gentle self-reflection and maybe a confession at some point that you aren’t always as physically confident as you’d like to be. Exposing our vulnerabilities is good for two reasons: it brings us closer but also it means he is aware of it going forward and will know that every now and again he might touch a nerve and why. In a relationship I think it’s good to arm your partner with the knowledge they need to understand you if you can, and this seems like a good opportunity to flag something that isn’t major or serious or character defining but could potentially derail a conversation in a shop on a Saturday when you’re hungover or at 8pm at a wedding or when his mother compliments your courageous dress sense.

I think I’m leaning towards doing the agony aunt newsletter, so thank you for this anecdote which made me laugh and was very relatable and do send more

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

114 of 2023

NSFW Asks (yeah again lol)

1:When did you lose your virginity?

At the age of 24.

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

No sex.

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

No. I’m a boring dude XD

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

Our car.

5: Favourite sex position?

“Leave me alone so I can sleep”.

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

Neither.

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

No, and I don’t see the piont if I have no interest in sex whatsoever.

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

No sex, thanks. In bed if he really wants.

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Does our car count?

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

Almost. I’m still ashamed.

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

I don’t wear anything like that.

12: How often do you have sex?

Once or twice a month, because my husband starts complaining if we don’t do it for too long.

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

Nope. I’m not interested in partnered sexual activities.

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

I hate both.

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

Farting, probably.

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

What, I dobn’t get the appeal.

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

See above.

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Not at all.

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

Neither.

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

Nobody.

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

No and no.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

No.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

Ew no. Not appealing at all.

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

My husband is my best friend so yes, but only for pleasing him.

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

Snuggle.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

Biology, I’m a man lol.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

No sex.

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

I’m not attracted to the opposite sex.

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

Eyes and arms.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

Dead bodies.

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

Nothing too extreme.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Lol no. I can’t bring myself to doing it. Bodily fluids are certainly not my thing.

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Well, maybe when heterosexual couple is trying to have a child.

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

Wut.

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

Anything in public places.

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

I hate it. It’s so irritating.

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

Doing it for days with no end? I don’t know, really. It’s a personal thing.

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

I don’t care about sexual compliments.

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

Jeez, foreplay is boring. Such a waste of time, just get to the piont.

40: What do you wear to bed?

Nothing, actually.

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

I don’t know, at the age of 15?

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

No, I’d be so embarrassed.

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

No.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

Nope.

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

God no.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

I don’t use random objects, just my hands.

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Couples having sex don’t turn me on. I’m more likely to get some excitement from watching one guy playing with himself.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

No. Too overwhelming and too messy.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

It’s cool if he has them, but it’s not a must.

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

If they gave consent, then okay.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

What do you even have in your head?

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

No.

53: Do you watch porn?

Rarely, I find 99% of it boring.

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

No, I haven’t.

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

No, I don’t.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

Hair doesn’t matter, I always have a problem with “going down on someone”.

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Ew, no.

58: Booty or Boobs?

I don’t see any reason why a gay dude would be interested in boobs.

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

No, I haven’t. If I find sex personally pointless, why would I be willing to do it with yet another person?

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

Crying, feeling disgusted with myself, hating myself, can’t think of more.

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

Only on videos.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Hopefully not.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

I still hope he didn’t.

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

Like the average guys do it, I don’t need anything more.

65. What is your bra/penis size?

You want to know too much. I’m not gonna say a meter because it’s ridiculous XD

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

Nothing?

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

Three days ago or so.

68. When was the last time you had sex?

Also three days ago.

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

Long time ago, it’s boring.

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

No, ny husband did, but I have no use in them.

71. Guys:Circumsized?

No, I’m not.

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

By others, none. By myself, thighs maybe.

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Again, none if done by others.

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

N/A.

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

Nope, I’m not interested in sex lives of other people.

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

When I was a teenager probably.

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

None. I’ve only had three and they were all ridiculous.

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

No. Not even my husband.

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

No. I find someone out there attractive, but in every possible meaning excep^t sexual.

80. Favorite sexual position?

Leave me alone.

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

No, it would seriously annoy me.

82. Are you into any BDSM?

Not at all.

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

I’m kind of curious about one guy (not like I’d act on it anyway), but he’s 21, too young for me.

84. Do you like dirty talk?

I hate it.

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

Very quiet. I don’t make any sounds.

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

Lol, “inturrepted”. XD Yeah, my parents when I was a teenager.

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Solo guys, and even that tends to be boring.

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

No, I’d die of shame probably XD he doesn’t need to know.

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

No. I don’t need any sexual partner. Myself is more than enough.

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

No, I haven’t.

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

I’m not interested in such things.

92. Ask whatever you want

No.

[danceordie1]

i started talking to this guy on another blog the day before yesterday. only spoke once so far, texting for a couple of hours. i shared a lot because he asked a lot of questions. this is a situation where i would really like someone else's input for how to continue, but i'm only speaking to him because we share the same extreme and unusual fetish. which is something that i have to remain completely closeted about in real life. he's actually the first person i've ever spoken to who knows about my fetish. i've always avoided searching for likeminded people online because it was scary, but because he initiated the conversation, i decided to go with it. it's just... i thought he was female when he first messaged me, and it does turn out that he thinks of himself as female brained... but he also clearly wants to roleplay with me, and has been dropping messages about his own sexual fantasies, and there's some sort of disconnect about what exactly turns us on about this thing. in the past month i've had to seriously reckon with my fetish, because the wool was finally pulled over my eyes about the actual pain and suffering of other people that is required for me to have an orgasm. i quit porn and have only been using written text and my imagination, but i still feel like i'm engaging in something that is just continuing to stamp in a neural pattern, a continual narrowing of what i find sexual, into more and more negative, pain-focused, and phobic fantasies. i honestly really used to believe that having a suffering-focused fetish was something that gave me a unique perspective on the world, but over the past month i've felt more like i should explore the option of trying to steer my sexuality back into the realm of normalcy, to the point where i could have a partner to whom i am actually sexually attracted. with my current fantasies, there is no realistic partner with whom i could have an actual sexual relationship, not in this world. it's not even that unusual of a fetish, but the directions that i've taken it are undeniably becoming more extreme, more stigmatized, and worthy of utter secrecy.

on this guy tho, i'm hesitant about trying out a friendship with him because he's acting in this particular way that men do when they're intimidated by me, where they ask me lots and lots of questions, never really offer information about themselves, continually flatter me, drop in constant compliments, and denigrate themselves. he seems like (and i mean this not in a completely negative way, given that i also am one) a loser with nothing going for him. he seems like a coomer. and i'm trying not to be a coomer. i like coomers, sometimes, one of my best friends was a coomer, but if i'm trying to cut out my fetish from my life, trying to honestly and genuinely redirect my fantasies away from nonconsent and pain, i think i need to not speak to coomers. talking to him made me scroll through ao3 for hours, even use spicychat, i think i came 3 times yesterday.

i really do need someone to talk to but i've also spent the last year completely friendless, i don't think i've had a conversation that i didn't find awkward and painful about something that interests me in over a year. so this was nice in a way, getting to type a lot about my actual feelings from an actually genuine place to someone who isn't going to stigmatize me. but... he's a straight man... and i'm unsure, and i have no one to talk to about this, and i feel more alone than ever. i can't bear to be around my family right now, and i'm getting the feeling that i'm going to be a loner for the rest of my life.

[castlebyersafterdark]

re: weddings, if you think about it, anything humans do is weirdly theatrical in a way. even throwing a dinner party. so i tend to lean more towards enjoying the concept of weddings at their purest form: celebration of love. marriage, on the other hand... whoo boy. im part romantic and part skeptic, which i think leaves me in a good middle place. i know that in the west, marriage itself really is more about contracts and legalities than love, especially when you consider down the line and the changeable nature of humans. you marry your partner as they are now, but they'll be ten different people (and so will you) throughout the duration of your time together. people who understand this i think are better suited to adapt to all life's challenges. this is why i always cringe when i see people who want to get married and you know what they mean is 'i want to have a wedding.'

your thing about not thinking anyone would ever marry you is so.... man. same! but look at you now! so lovely. all we see here is your personality but that's compelling as heck, and good conversation is such an attractive feature. im sure youve broken plenty of hearts without even knowing it. i know compliments like that dont always convince people they're loveable, so i won't ramble. im sure your fiance gives you all you need in that dept, but yeah. protect that small inner child who still thinks he's unloveable, vinny! hug him close always 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

and lastly please do tell us about the sibling weddings lol, i wanna know now! MY inner child always liked the idea of two men (or women) getting married in a traditional way, it seemed like a bigger up yours to the bigots because it highlighted how it didnt have to be any different except swapping out the genders. and i think thats beautiful, just the image of two men in nice suits with an aisle etc.

Well said on what it should be and so often instead is! I think a lot of people, despite best intentions, want the wedding more than the marriage I feel. But, for every vapid party planned for the sake of hyping up a single day in the course of a lifetime, there's other events/ceremonies that are soooo beautiful and pure - no matter how lavish or simple. Ahh, the spectrum of human experience. And I do enjoy those who have very nearly "traditional" marriages despite being a same sex couple - very true, why can't we? A big middle finger to greater society because anyone should be able to do what they want. The day celebrating your love together should match the couple's taste and personality. So, when you're chill and love a gathering of friends and into having a really fun time - that's my priority. And when you're marrying someone who is a self-described "bohemian type" (he's such a dork 💙) combine all that with cool lowkey rustic vibes. It's very loose ideas right now but it's going to be so great!

Feeling bashful about everything really. Why do I always fall into vulnerability on here, haha. But like I've said before, as long as people keep sticking around, there's gonna be a mix of fandoming and gossip and my diary I let my nameless, anonymous online friends take a peek at 🤭 It's therapeutic! Broken hearts, unfortunately yes. And mine has been shattered and in need of stitches several times as well. Nothing but gentle care these days. It's so strange and different. Even years on now. I don't know. Reality continues to shock me and I catch myself a lot like, why am I still surprised about all of this??? We are all always a work in progress and that's ok 🥲

GOSH the siblings, the siblings. Ok. Why not. This is getting long so under the cut:

Listen - I got a lot of brothers. I only regularly stay in contact with one of them 💁‍♂️ The jab was about... the hypocrisy of religious weddings sometimes? No shade if someone truly wants traditional or gets married in a church, totally fine. I have nothing against it!! I've been to some lovely church based wedding ceremonies. I am not religious. But... my siblings. They're suuuuch assholes and we weren't even big church goers growing up and I just remember sitting through several weddings as a teenager thinking it was so weird that they were up there pledging themselves to god like - what is this? Who is that for? The expectation of extended family and the families they were marrying into? My parents certainly didn't push it. Idk. I guess it's just the thing you do for most people. But it felt odd, knowing the person and if you've ever been to a catholic wedding in particular they are just so... ritualized? More so than other denominations? It was just really weird for me. Not about me, I know!! But, still. Family 🙄 Soapbox over. Maybe the teenage angst of the time overrides it all for me and that's what stuck 🤣

[bratz-kitten]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear 

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future 

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences 

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago 

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most. 

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL 

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way? 

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people. 

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family. 

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever. 

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny 

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO 

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS  

[mayihavethisdancedear]

Signing Subordinate

♡ Reader is gender neutral ♡

◇ No warnings ◇

♧ 1.3k words ♧

You were invited by your superior, Pantalone, to a ball. As you both arrive, a very wealthy man approaches both of you as he tries to talk he cant seem to get his words out right, but you notice that he signs as he talks. You understand that he's deaf and translated as a sign to speech for Pantalone. What will his reaction be?

As the subordinate or assistant, if you would like to call or that, it can be challenging, especially being Lord harbinger, Pantalone's subordinate. You do things on the daily for him, let him know his schedule, assign meetings with business partners, do never-ending paperwork, and the list can go on. But him inviting you as a plus one to a ball he would be attending for his status and as he has said before 'To make new business partners' and he also said that you being there to assist him would be beneficial. So you agreed to go. Balls that weren't exactly on your job description, but it would be nice to attend one, job or not.

So, you are now dressed up looking nicer than usual. Now Pantalone wouldn't have you dressed in rags and your hair looking bland, especially as his assistant. You are within his personal carriage he travels within, sitting across from him. You can't help bit feel nervous about going to such a party, you didn't have a rich background and was offered to do this job by your good friend Childe, saying he trusted you and so should the other harbingers. He glances up at you and says, "What's wrong dear, you look quite anxious?" You look away from the winter landscape through the window as look at him and then look down, saying,"I've never been to such a party or ball in my life before. Especially an upper-class one." He looks at you a bit disappointed but your statement but then smirks."Perhaps I should bring along more then."

You both shortly arrive to the beautiful manor as he holds his hand out for you to get out of the carriage, as you thank him. You both walk in, and everybody is sure to notice the most wealthy man the teyvat has ever seen. You follow behind him, you can't feel but feel lost in such an environment so, you stay by his side. After a while he grabs a drink and starts talking to his 'business partners' striking up new offers and opportunities even introducing you to some of them saying "If you ever want to see me, make sure to get it through my assistant. I only pick the best to work with me."

As he finished up a conversation with one of his partners, you two are now standing alone, as he sips on whatever drink he's having, and you can't but eye the dessert table. As you were cut out of your thoughts when an attractive man around the same age as Pantalone and you, approaches. Pantalone smiles at man. "Hello sir, I haven't seen you around here before." The man tries to get his words out, but Pantalone can't seem to understand. You look at his hand and realize he signs as he talks. You quickly realize he's hard of hearing.

You end up in front of Pantalone instead of beside him. As you sign to the man, "Hello, my name y/n, his name Pantalone." The man smiles at you as you're sure he's glad someone else knows sign language. As you finished spelling Pantalones name, you looked up at him, a surprised and quite shocked expression shown on his face. You the look back to the man and sign "How can I help you today sir? I could translate, you sign, I talk." You give the man a questioning look along with your signed question he nods and signs 'thank you and a yes'.

You then talk to Pantalone as he starts signing, "His name is Mr. Alexia and he is born deaf. He was wondering if you both could make a deal as he would provide alliance and materials if you were to give some funds to his first deaf school in Scheznaya. He is willing to do a meeting if you would like, as kind y/n could translate for me." You smile at the nice compliment as you look up to Pantalone, who is peeked with curiosity. "Y/n, dear, please tell him to discuss matters with you about the meeting, I would very much like to hear what Mr. Alexia has to offer." You nod and sign it to the man, Pantalone smiles as you do so. Once you finish the man signs, 'Yes, of course. Thank you for this opportunity.'

You and the Mr. Alexia sign in front of Pantalone, you manage to fill in a time for his meeting and then he signs you a question 'Are you two together or married?' You can't help but let a small laugh as you're sure Pantalone is questioning what so funny. Your laugh dies down a bit as you sign.'No way, he's my boss!' You make stern face when you sign boss he chuckles and nods you two then part ways and say your goodbyes.

Then, when he leaves, Pantalone grabs ahold of your shoulder and says, "Did you get everything sorted out?" You nod "Yes we did. I'll have to put the meeting in your calendar." He smiles as he looks at you. You can't help but smile a bit. He then says, "So, why didn't you tell me you could sign such a language?" You respond back."You never really asked, and I thought I wouldn't need it until now." He nods and then thinks for a moment until he says,"Well, I knew I kept you around for something." He chuckles a bit as you give an annoyed look but not at him. He's still your superior.

"Oh, but I have to ask, what were you two giggle about in front of me. It's not nice to keep secrets, you know." He voice sounding low and curious. You then feel a bit of a warmth rush up to your cheeks as you feel a bit embarrassed to tell him. "Um, well he asked if you and I. Were um, together." You state as he raises an eyebrow and grins,"and I suppose him not meaning your place in your profession with me. Hmm?" He leans in a bit almost as if he's teasing you. "Well, what did you tell the kind man?"

"Well, I told him you're my superior," you remark back at him. "You don't have to make such a stern face when signing that." He gives a obviously teasing pout after saying that. But then he says unexpectedly, "I'll have to change your status then. Say, how do you sign together?" You look up at him he shows a broad smile. You then ball your two hands into fists and then put them together. He copies your actions and then points at you and then him and signs together.' he states "Well did I do it, right?"

"Yes, um, yes you did, in fact!" You feel a bit flushed as he usual charming smile rest on his face. He then grabs your hand and says, "You've never been to such a ball before right. Allow me to dance with you?" You nod as he leads you to where the music starts playing and dancers begin. You look at the man you translated for feeling the vibrations of the music, and you can't help but smile.

Who knew translating would get you closer to your superior, or should you say, your equal

Authors Note: Okay, so, for school, I have to do forgien language, so I'm learning ASL! I thought, why not incorporate my learning with my writing? So, here's my attempt. I did the best I could with the signs and trying not to make Pantalone too out of character. Anyways have a great day, my dears!

-May

Masterlist

[erodasfishtacos]

Crackin’ the Code

prompt: Harry and YN tie the knot in a beautiful castle off the coat of Italy. Harry reflects back on his life before his love. YN has past insecurities creep on on her before the wedding. 

note: this is the necklace that YN receives as (one) her wedding gifts from H and she wears it during the ceremony.

word count: 9k

warnings: smut

***<-- click for visuals throughout (super important for this one shot!)

if you enjoy this fic (which i worked REALLY hard on) please reblog, like, comment, and come talk to me!

please please considering donating to my kofi since all my work is FREE to you guys!

---

The world expected an extravagant wedding with week-long festivities, celebrations in destinations only the richest could afford, and all the big names of the business world who ran in his circle.

The media outlets were just waiting, quite impatiently, for the day that the richest man in Europe settled down with a significant other. They would have news stories for decades when it came to the couple.

Of course, Harry Styles was going to marry a household name - the public thought. 

Whether it be an heiress, a model, maybe even an actress? The choices for the most eligible bachelor were limitless.

Any time he was at an event, usually a charity gala or black-tie dinner, paparazzi would take candid pictures of him with any female and then the following day publish an article about how they were a couple.

However, what the world didn’t know was that he’s been in a relationship for a year and a half, has already been engaged after the eight month mark, and moved into pretty soon after but that was hushed.

Nearly no one except a few key employees and family members knew about the couple. Everyone in his office building in the heart of London had to sign NDA’s at the beginning of their job - though almost all of them didn’t know she existed.

Harry did not put any limits on YN for the wedding planning. 

No price, no expectations, nothing. If she wanted ten-thousand people or zero people in attendance that was her call. If she wanted to drop ten million dollars on a wedding or a hundred that was fine too.

The CEO never fantasized about a wedding. 

Well he had but no in the terms most do. He didn’t sit and imagine the venue, the food menu, or the decorations. 

No, he didn’t care about any of that, he daydreamed about the fact that he and someone would commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives.

Harry wanted to marry his fiance after their first date.

He was usually a very patient man, couldn’t have gotten where he was if he wasn’t. When it came to this, each day he wasn’t married to the love of his life felt like torture.

Since he proposed to her in his briefs in their bedroom, he had imagined her looking immaculate in whatever she chose to wear, exchanging vows of devotion, and then being tied together for life.

He never thought he would get here. He’d never felt a connection with someone like he had with the feisty waitress who bumped into him. Begin to believe that he was broken or lacking emotion because no matter how sweet the girl was he couldn’t see himself with the person.

Don’t get him wrong. 

He took many women out on dates that were downright awful. Asking him about money, suggesting he take them on expensive vacations or buy them a designer item, being too forward and palming his crotch in the middle of dinner.

One of the last dates he went on before he gave up was the one that made him stop looking all together, about six months before he ran in YN.

---

It was an expensive restaurant in the heart of London. It had a waitlist for months but one call and they could magically make an available booth for the billionaire within the hour. 

The girl he was sitting across from was a so-to-speak blind date. 

A set up by one of his business partners who stated that they would be a good match. Harry had rolled his eyes at that but couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough to say ‘no.’

Her name was Aria, she had a respectable job at a local law firm as an assistant to a very well-known lawyer in the area. 

She was beautiful in the way of looking just like an instagram model with long dark extensions, false eyelashes that made it hard to determine what color her eyes were, and an outfit that made Harry a bit embarrassed to be seen with her - short and low cut at a five-star restaurant.

“Yeah, I just got back from Mallorca with a group of friends,” She tells him, flipping through the photo album on her phone to show him pictures. 

When she ‘accidentally’ swipes (and slowly swipes) again so that Harry definitely gets a glimpse of a nude selfie.

Harry internally groans, couldn’t be less turned on by that, and doesn’t acknowledge it - much to Aria's disappointment. 

She was fishing for a compliment, maybe a request for him to take the phone and look closer at the picture like most men would.

Instead he sits back, takes a sip of his wine, and nods curtly, “It looks like you had a good time.”

She stumbles for a second, confused by his sudden standoffishness, and clicks her phone locked before putting it next to her on the table, “Did I offend you?”

He was already done with the date, with the dating scene, with fucking everything honestly. 

What a goddamn waste of a night.

Harry barks out a cruel laugh, “It takes a lot more to offend me than a picture of y’tits but it’s a bit offensive that y’think so little of yourself that you think that’s how y’going to impress me. Those tits didn’t impress me much, darling.”

Aria’s eyes narrow in blatant disbelief at how much of an asshole he was being. 

Granted, she did feel a bit of embarrassment creeping up in her stomach about thinking showing him that picture was a good idea but still, he didn’t need to react like that.

“It really makes sense why you don’t have a girlfriend, it’s because of what an asshole you are,” The girl sneers with venom as she tucks her phone into her clutch, swigging down the last drops of the expensive wine.

He shrugs like he’s unbothered, a nasty feeling quilling in the pit of his stomach as he keeps an outward expression of nonchalance and ease, it make the raven-haired woman even more furious as he replies cooly, “I’m not being an asshole, honesty hurts sometimes. Maybe if you think the way you attract someone is by nude pictures, you should try Tinder or Bumble.”

“I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have,” Aria tells him before pushing out her chair and leaving before the main course even arrives. 

Harry sits there for a moment, swallowing and pleading with himself to not let the nasty words set in because they felt too real and too personal - she had actually struck some type of chord within and it had his stomach churning.

When he pays the bill, apologizing profusely for leaving dinner before the entree arrives but with an excuse of a company emergency - it’s eerily quiet in his car as he drives home to his massive home with no one in it.

It doesn’t happen often. 

He should call his mum, Gemma, Dorothy even to talk it out but he feels so fucking alone because he can’t get it right. He can’t connect with anyone and it is starting to feel hopeless.

He is angry, so angry at himself, that he can’t shake the feeling of it and he feels like he’s losing control because he never fucking talks about his emotions.

A beautiful set of dishware was sitting out his dining room table, the housekeeper had carefully unwrapped them earlier in the day. 

They were imported from Beijing, decorated with real gold, and handcrafted. It had cost him nearly forty-thousand dollars for a set of fucking plates and bowls.

I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.

It is repeatedly on a loop in his head, glares at the items on the dinner table like they’re mocking him, and he has no wits about himself before he’s taking one of the beautiful bowls and throwing it against the wall as hard as possible.

I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.

By the time he’s done, his chest is heaving, and his face is red. 

When reality starts to set back in, every single item from the set is destroyed on the floor, the wall’s paint chipped from where he’d hurled them.

He was so fucked up.

-

Harry couldn’t help but relieve the feelings of that nasty flashback. He couldn’t believe that he had been at that point in his life - not when he had the most all-consuming, amazing in every single way woman laying next to him in his bed.

YN had shown Harry that he had never been broken, he had just been waiting. 

She was his soulmate and he had been waiting for her since forever. He truly believed that as he looked at the girl next to him with enough emotion his heart might burst.

She was just...everything.

YN was so fucking funny - the funniest person Harry had ever met. She was loving in a way that made you feel like you belonged. Compassionate in a way that makes you want to be more selfless yourself. Intelligent enough that it was breathtaking and unreal - and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

She was uncaring of who Harry was - in the most perfect way. 

Money wasn’t a personality trait that she defined him with. She loved him for who he was at the bare basics, stripped away from his public life.

She was confident in a way that girls rarely were. 

Bared face and more beautiful than the highest-paid models. 

Her body was her own, embracing every curve and inch of it without any shame. Let herself be authentic in front of Harry which made him feel like he had won a secret lottery.

Right now, she was fast asleep next to him in bed after stuffing herself full of oreos that she was dunking in milk. She ignored Harry’s looks of disgust at the soggy cookies and munched away happily which made him happy in turn.

She still had a dark crumb on the corner of her puffy lips, her mouth parted just the slightest amount, and her face smushed halfway into the pillow. 

The shirt she had on was so oversized she was swimming in it and a pair of soft pink cheeky underwear.

Currently, she was the farthest thing from graceful and Harry loved that so fucking much. 

As they lay mere days away from their wedding, remembering that nasty flashback, he can’t help but remember their first date and how he had known from them that he had finally found a spark, a connection to another human being.

--

Harry cannot remember the last time he had been nervous. 

Maybe back in his teenage years? If that. 

It was an unsettling feeling that was currently pooling in the pit of his stomach as he changed his outfit for the third time before finally being somewhat satisfied with the suit he had picked out - tighter black jeans, black button-up, black blazer - couldn’t go wrong there. ***

YN had texted him asking what she should wear for their first date when Harry told her he was going to keep it simple and take her to a restaurant.

He had to dress nice, it was an expensive restaurant that he had not taken any other dates to before, it was right outside of London - going towards the countryside with a beautiful view of a meadow and stream.

When he had arrived in front of her apartment, well he had never been on this side of town, and it quite frankly looked like the roof of her building was about to collapse at any minute. It was rough to say the least.

Harry had picked out a car he thought would impress her. He remembered her saying the doors of his Lamborghini were stupid so he picked a car with normal doors this time. It was his new Audi Quattro that had cost him upwards of 170,000 pounds. ***

YN had popped out of the front door, her face didn’t read impressed when she saw the car like he had hoped. It was interesting before YN, he did not care whether or not his dates were impressed by him - now he craved it.

She looked extraordinary in a form fitting silky black dress that hugged every single curve of her body perfectly while accentuating them at the same time. Minimal makeup, loose waves, and simple high heels - it was like a dream that he was taking this girl out on a date. ***

When she slips into the passenger seat, the smell of her floral yet cinnamon perfume makes the car smell heavenly, she looks over at him and says, “You didn’t even come open the door for me. We’re off to a bad start, Harry.”

His heart sinks, fuck - he had been blindsided by her beauty that he wasn’t even being a proper gentleman, “M’so sorry, I wa-”

She chirps out a tender laugh, patting his arm, “You’re face, oh my god. I was just fucking with you.”

Harry’s frown turns into a pout, “S’not nice, pet.”

YN shrugs before a bit self-consciously adjusting the fabric around her midsection, “Erm, I hope this outfit is nice enough? It’s really the only semi-decent thing I own.”

He shakes his head in disbelief, “Y’look absolutely stunning. I can’t even believe y’real to be honest, so fuckin’ pretty.”

YN gives him a shy, unsure smile but he can tell she’s preening at the compliment internally (which she totally is).

The restaurant is one of the nicest in England, let alone London. 

There wasn’t even a menu, they just served eight courses over a few hours time by servers in suits with bowties on. 

YN had never felt more out of place.

As they sat down, Harry was proud that he was able to show off his abilities for a good date, YN was looking around nervously before looking up at the server and saying, “We didn’t get menus yet.”

The man gives her a humorous expression before telling her, “We don’t do menus here, miss. Your date is a regular, I am sure he can fill you in. However, we are starting off with a Cabernet from 2001 imported from Napa, California.”

As he pours the wine into their sparkling glasses, she asks unknowingly, “I don’t really like wine. Is there any way I could get a Coke?”

Harry frowns when the server laughs meanly at her, “Ma’am this isn’t McDonald’s. We do not carry soda. I can provide you with water, if you so wish.”

Harry can’t help but snap at the waiter, “Oi, she’s never been here before. Lay off with the attitude alright?”

“My apologies, Mr. Styles,” He murmurs obediently before finishing the pouring off the whine and retreating from the table.

YN is trying to hide how uncomfortable she is but it is still obvious with how she fidgets in her seat, doesn’t quite know what to do with her hands as she doesn’t even bother to reach towards the wine glass.

“This isn’t really your scene, is it?” Harry murmurs, embarrassment with his failure to impress her with an expensive car and dinner. 

It was falling flat and it was the only thing he knew how to do - flaunt his wealth, everyone else had always been impressed.

“No, it isn’t,” She agrees quietly, fingers folding the edges of the cloth napkin to keep her anxiousness directed somewhere, “I appreciate this, er, dinner. I thought we were going to go somewhere like Mary’s.”

Mary’s was a restaurant that was considered ‘nice’ to the commoners in the city. It was a bit more expensive than a pub and the attire was a bit fancier than if you were going out to a bar. 

For someone like Harry, that was not considered a fancy restaurant. 

However, YN was not him and this was not something that she had ever been accustomed to. He now definitely felt like an idiot.

It’s made even worse when a massive plate is put in front of each of them. 

The plate is huge but the dish is merely one scallop with a lemon sauce and sprinkle of parsley on top. YN can’t even try to hide her confusion at the food.

 “I’ve mucked this date up,” Harry sighs, nearly thirty minutes into the actual date. 

YN had taken a small bite of the scallop before setting down her fork and not touching it again - it tasted like dirty feet. Did rich people like that taste?

She decides not to answer directly, “I already know you have money. It doesn’t ‘wow’ me. I was hoping for a fun date, this is….nice but quite truthfully, not for me. I prefer a pub or bowling - this feels more like a business meeting.”

Harry usually doesn’t have dates that are this honest with him. 

He feels embarrassed but he really did appreciate her honesty. He should have known to do something different than this but he was comfortable with his normal pattern.

“Can we get out of here?” YN asks, placing the napkin back on the table and gathering up her small purse to swing over her shoulder.

He feels defeated as he nods, paying for the meal in full as he accepts that he’s fucked up the date beyond repair by being an arrogant, ignorant asshole who doesn’t truly know how to talk to a girl he likes.

It’s quiet as he starts the car and pulls back onto the road, he startles a bit when YN points to a glowing sign of a golden arch and demands, “Go there.”

With a bit of confusion, Harry pulls into the McDonald’s parking lot and then to the drive-thru as she motions for him to do so. 

God, he hasn’t been to a fast food joint in years now if he was being honest.

When they pull up to the screen, YN leans across and shoots out their food order with ease before sitting back with a smug smile, “We’re going to have a date my way.”

Harry sighs with relief when he realizes the date isn’t over - but really just beginning. They sit and chat in the parking lot. He is thoroughly impressed when YN manages a box of nuggets, a fry, and a milkshake without shame.

Not like she should be shameful - just usually on dates women were hesitant to actually eat and instead picked carefully at their food instead. Their conversation in the car is bright, at some points deep and meaningful, but refreshing. It made him feel young again.

After they finished eating, she’s ordering him to drive a bit further out into the country where he can’t help but make the joke, “Are y’taking me somewhere to kill me?” YN smiles happily with a wide grin, “You’ll just have to wait to see.”

It ends up being a lake. A beautiful body of water that was surrounded by trees that were being reflected into the ripples with the light of the moon. The only sounds were of crickets chirping and the light lapping of the water against the small shore. ***

“I used to come here a lot in the summer in high school,” YN murmurs as Harry takes in the scenery of everything. It had been so long since he had appreciated nature - not the bright clear waters in the tropics but something like this.

“S’beautiful,” Harry replies, can’t help but observe this girl he’s infatuated beauty in the moonlight. 

Her skin looks like it’s glowing, the moon sparkling off the twinkle of her iries, and she just looked...ethereal. Like she belonged in the beauty of the wilderness.

He couldn’t believe his eyes - had to blink harshly a few times to make sure he’s not imagining it when she pulls the thin straps of her dress down her shoulders and shimmy the garment down her body until she’s left in a delicate lace bra and cheeky pair of underwear.

Harry, always the gentleman, keeps his eyes (with effort) on her face. Unsure of what is going on in her mind before she turns around with a little run and dives headfirst into the deep waters before popping back up and giggling, “Jump in!”

She’s just so...carefree, adventurous. Harry hadn’t felt free in fucking years.

It has him shucking out of all of his clothing, just down to his tight black briefs before he’s diving in, right next to her, and feeling around. He wraps his hand around her ankle to teasingly tug her under with him before they both surface.

As they wad in the water, YN swims over to him, and wraps her legs around his waist, arms around his neck. Her soaking wet hair was dripping and he was breathing heavy, feeling his ribcage expand against her soft tummy.

She murmurs quietly over the light lapping over the water, “You haven’t even looked at me once.”

Harry swallows, feeling like a schoolboy again, “I...I didn’t want to without permission.”

“I want you to look at me,” YN replies, letting her nose nudge his and her eyes searching into his nervous ones. 

He nods, closing his eyes when he feels her lips brush his, letting his large palms grip at her sides and pull her closer to his chest. Their lips not breaking when his hands begin to explore the intricate, plush curves of her body.

They don’t do anything else, don’t go any further but he groaning when she traces her fingertips down his muscular, defined abs and thumb rubbing over the trail of light hair leading into his briefs.

After a swim, filled with splashing and dunking, they retired to lay in the grass. Both of their backs, looking up at the clear night sky, moon full and stars glittering against the stark darkness that surrounds it.

YN wriggle until she’s tucked into his side, hand running up and down his chest, as she says, “I’m sorry your date didn’t go as planned. I ruined it.”

“Y’didn’t ruin anything. I...I haven’t felt like this in a long time,” Harry admits as he gives off an embarrassed laugh, “I..I’m a little bit scared, to be honest.”

“Scared? Of what?” YN asks, lips pressing against a tattoo on his bare shoulder.

“Because I already am falling for you,” Harry utters, heart racing and his eyes glued upwards and pointedly not wanting to see her interaction.

“That’s a relief.”

His eyebrows shoot up, “A relief?”

“Yeah, I would say. I’m falling too,” YN whispers before leaning up to connect their lips once more as the moon rises further in the sky and the crickets sing a little louder. They lay like that for a very long time.

Harry went home that night for the first time not feeling the empty weight of his loneliness, instead he feel asleep imagining the beautiful, spontaneous girl next to him in his bed.

--

It wasn’t going to be the wedding everyone expected for The Harry Styles. **

There was not many invites set out for this event. It wasn’t the wedding of the century or the most expensive wedding of the decade.

Harry would have let his wife-to-be have this day however she wanted without complaint but could say he was very happy that it was going to a be a low-key event. It was going to be some of YN’s family, though she didn’t have much, and Harry’s extended family. No one from work or business. Just family.

They had just gotten finished with the rehearsal dinner, the couple being ordered to separate rooms for the final night before they were married. It was tradition. 

Harry had walked YN to her hotel room, they were staying at the venue, and pressed her up against the door. His hand coming to weave into her meticulously curled hair and cupping the back of her head, bring her mouth to his.

He wastes no time in letting his tongue find hers, hips coming to press her further back against the aged wood, and his teeth nipping roughly at her plump bottom lip, “Baby, y’gonna be m’wife tomorrow.”

YN’s eyes twinkle up at him like they did during their first date, “I can’t wait. I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

His fiance laughs kindly as he gets a bit watery eyed, her thumb coming to swipe under his eye, she jokes, “Are you regretting proposing now?”

“Just never knew I could be this happy,” He murmurs against her lips, can’t help but reach around to grip a generous amount of her backside and pulling her flush against him where he’s hardening quickly.

“Mm, down boy. You don’t get the goods until tomorrow,” YN scolds, hand wrapping around his wrist and squeaking when he squeezes harder to get the point across - how much he wants her, all the fucking time.

“Want it now, pet,” Harry whines lowly, grinding his hips forward into her, “Give it t’me, y’mouth, y’cun-”

“Alright lovebirds! Separate now!” Gemma barks to interrupt with the laughter of their childhood friend Chloe.

They pull Harry by the back of the shirt and push him forward towards his room, Gemma smiles back at YN, “Make him put a ring on it before you give it to him!”

“Gem!” Harry scolds with a whine, giving his fiance puppy dog eyes and a pouted bottom lip, “Baby, don’t let them take me!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you!” YN shouts back, waving and smiling to herself as she opens up the door to her room and then locking it after she steps in. It feels weird being in a hotel room without him but she was a bit sweaty and her nerves were wiry so she decided a nice bath would be a good idea.

-

It’s past two in the morning and she was no less ready to find sleep. The worries of whether everything will be set up properly, if she’ll stutter during her vows, there were just so many things that could go wrong.

Life didn’t even seem real at this moment. 

She was marrying her husband at an amazing castle on the coast of italy with family to surround them in love. She had the perfect dress, the perfect flowers, the perfect partner. ***

She had never had it easy. Never thought she would deserve something like this. Harry had made her feel worthy of all this, they deserved to have a happy ever after. 

When it hits three in the morning, she can’t stand the quiet of the italian countryside anymore, and is swinging her legs over the bed. She pockets the keycard Harry gave her earlier in the day in her cotton shorts before sneaking out of her room.

After she taps the card to the sensor, the large oak doorknob clicks, she slips in and closes the door as silently as possible. YN steps in to the room, Harry's asleep in his bed on his stomach, face smushed into the pillow.

Harry’s facial expression and body language while he was awake was so severe, serious, intimidating. In sleep, his face was lax and his limbs loose. He looked more boyish when he was dreaming.

YN’s heart aches at how much she loves him, pulling the covers up, and crawling under them until she’s jostling him unintentionally, waking him from his light sleep with a mumble, “Baby, y’okay? Wha’s wrong? Y’alright?”

She giggles at his dazy panic, “I just missed you.”

“Mmm,” Harry agrees, pulling her all the way down and rolling on top of her, “Missed y’more.”

“You’re like a toaster!” YN squeals as he’s encompasses her, laying on her with his weight. His lips finding her pulse point and gently sucking. He was barely awake and he still couldn’t stop himself from her finding comfort in her body.

“I’m warmin’ y’up,” Harry growls against her neck before giving her a lick which has her giggling even more and pushing him off until he falls on his back and she’s swing her legs over his waist, straddling him.

“Y’breakin’ the tradition, m’heart.”

YN shrugs, humming while he palms at her belly, and she (much to his disappointment) ignores where he’s hard and waiting for her.

“I want t’sleep with you,” She pleas sheepishly, leaning all the way over to connect their lips in a quickie peck before she’s moving off of him and into his side.

“Never say no to you, y’know that, dovie,” Harry replies as if it’s obvious (it is).

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” YN whispers into the dark, like it’s a secret just between the two.

Harry nuzzles his nose against her temple, “Never wanted anythin’ more than I want you.”

YN can’t help but sniffle softly, overwhelmed with emotion and love, “You’re so good to me. I don’t deserve you.”

“You saved me. You saved me from myself, from where I was going. You gave me hope, feeling again. Y’are m’heart, it fuckin’ beats for you.”

It may not be tradition but YN wouldn’t of had it any other way, sleeping in a magnificent castle on the ethereal coast of Italy in a classic hotel room, and the excitement of their wedding rumbling in both of their stomachs.

--

“You sneaky bastards!” Bethany screeches, door flinging open with Gemma in tow as they intrude into Harry’s room - finding the couple curled up under the covers with Harry spooning YN with his face tucked into her hair.

“Fuck off,” Harry groans, pulling his fiance closer into his chest as she wriggles awake and whimpers lowly, “Mornin’ lovie.”

“Out out!” Gemma shoos, pulling the covers off of them and the sisters showing no mercy while they yank YN out of the bed and titter about how she needs to start getting ready, no time for cuddles, breaking traditions.

“Bring her back!” He whines childishly, hurling a pillow at his sister’s retreating back as they guide YN back to her own room.

“You’ll see her in a few hours!” Gemma shouts back before slamming the hotel room door and leaving Harry to doze off for just a few more minutes.

-

Hair and makeup went fast. 

It was getting closer and closer to actually walking down the aisle towards her soon-to-be life partner and she’s never felt more nervous.

Rosemary and Bethany were all rushing around - attempting to get ready in the midst of getting the bride ready.

YN didn’t want to look like a doll or have any intense makeup. It was a soft champagne smokey eye with dewy skin and a glowing highlight. A nice lip with a bit of glittering gloss.

Her hair was in big, loose curls that cascaded down her back with the front pulled off of her face. A real white flower holding it back.

Then it was the dress. She was anxious about whether Harry would like it or not. She wasn’t sure what he was expecting her to wear - a massive ball gown, a form-fitting mermaid, or something less over-the-top?

It was a show-stopper that had her memorized when she had first seen it - could automatically imagined herself getting married in Italy with this on her body.

It was also one of the only times she didn’t even care about the price tag - she knew this was it. Yes, it was absurd to spend fifty thousand pounds on a dress but it was the one time she took advantage of Harry’s wealth.

It was flowy, reminding her of the soft waves that lapped at the coast of the italian beaches. It was sophisticated, classy with a sharp starch white that billowed into a dreamlike beauty.

What had made her fall in love was the sheer, detailed sleeves that gave the dress more of a vintage, glamour appearance than the modern tight-fit, overly sexy gowns that most brides wore nowawadays. ***

The train was long and sleek. It would trail beautifully down the aisle before being bustled for the reception. It made her feel confident in a way that an item of clothing next had made her feel before.

“Your tits look amazing,” Bethany compliments before giggling when their grandmum pinches her arm for her crude language.

YN couldn’t find it in her to laugh. She felt like her voice was stuck in her throat and it wasn’t moving. 

It started to feel real.

The fact that Harry had proposed, had planned a wedding with her, that he was agreeing to marrying her today.

It was starting to scare her - no, not cold feet but anxiety that he would realize that he could do better than the lowly waitress.

Now, on a normal day, she wouldn’t be having these irrational thoughts. Today was different and it felt too good to be true.

Rosemary and Bethany sense the tension in the room, rub her shoulders, and respect her wishes when she asked for a moment alone.

YN debates picking up her phone, knowing he was busy with his bigger side of the family in the groom’s suite.

She finds herself picking up her mobile, dialing his number, and waiting with bated breath for his syrupy, warm voice to pour through the speaker.

“Everythin’ okay?” He answers, she can hear Anne and Gemma tittering about in the background, yelling at him to get a move on.

“I’m scared,” YN whispers, she holds back her tears because the last thing she wanted to do was ruin her meticulous makeup.

“Leavin’ me at the altar?” Harry jokes lowly, stepping away from prying ears.

YN giggles at his teasing tone, “Never. I…I feel like this is all too good to be true. Like it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up.”

Harry huffs, “Sweetheart. Y’my soulmate, if y’wake up - I’m right there with you, okay? God, if anyone is dreamin’ it’s me. I get t’marry the most beautiful, intelligent -“

Gemma’s voice interrupts him, “You already seduced her into marrying you! We don’t have time for this sweet talk!”

The line goes dead but YN feels much better now.

—

Rosemary was going to be the one walking her down the aisle to her new husband. It didn’t feel right to have anyone else do it as she was the one who raised her into the strong, independent woman she was today.

YN knew she wanted to have an outside wedding. 

What would be more perfect than a cool evening in Italy? It was what she had dreamed about since she was little without the idea that it would ever happen.

The weather was absolutely perfect. There was a slight warm breeze that would keep the guests from being overheated, the sun was peeking in and out of vibrant white clouds that complimented the blue sky.

She knew exactly where Harry would be standing. 

Underneath a beautiful, dated archway with intricate designs about. 

The old material had lovingly grown luscious ivy that kissed the walls in a swirling, natural design. 

YN would never forget how beautiful that ivy had looked on her wedding day, encompassing the magnificent that was her soon-to-be husband.***

The venue was open, airy but still gave off an intimacy. There weren't many rows of chairs because not many were invited to share in such an ethereal experience where soulmates have found each other and were announcing their commitment to the world.

“Are you ready, my daughter?” Her grandmother had asked quietly as they lined up behind the expansive, old brick wall that hides them from the rest of the ceremony and crowd. She could hear the whispering as people took their seats.

YN nods, her vocal cords refusing to cooperate as she imagines Harry just as nervous on the opposite side with his family. 

When the twinkling, traditional music begins from the small orchestra off to the side - the realization hits her - it is actually happening, right now.

Bethany puts her bouquet in front of her, giving one last meaningful smile at her sister before she takes her cue to turn the corner and begins her walk down the aisle. 

It meant Harry was up there, watching as she was about to appear.

Then the orchestra’s melody became louder, more grand in the signaling for the guests to stand and turned toward the back of the room - awaiting the bride’s entrance to the ceremony. 

Rosemary takes the initiative to hook their arms and guide her past the wall.

YN clutches onto her own flowers as if it’s her lifeline. ***

Every fear, insecurity, moment of self-doubt dissipates when her eyes connect to Harry’s. There is no longer a doubt in her mind that she wasn’t enough. It was a deep, unbreakable stare as Harry’s mouth parts in a gasp of awe.

He was in a suit that was undeniably him. It displayed how fucking regal he was, how it looked like he was handcrafted into the italian design, how it fit him just perfectly.

It wasn’t a normal tuxedo. It was a perfectly tailored, custom (of course) Gucci suit that excentuate his broad shoulders and the nip of his narrow hips *** ***. 

YN can’t even hear the noise of the guests - whispering about how beautiful she looks.

All she can see is her future husband, who swallows harshly as an unexpected sob wracks through his chest at the sight of his bride.

The guests can’t help but look with wide eyes as the man they know - who they’ve barely ever seen smile, let alone cry, cannot control his emotions.

Gemma, who was his ‘best man’ which they deemed ‘best woman’, rubs his back soothingly with a watery smile herself at seeing her brother so estastatic as he looks at the woman of his dreams.

Harry rubs his eyes before meeting hers again.

YN is holding back her own tears as she reaches the end of the aisle.

In tradition as old as time, Harry steps forward and Rosemary passes her hand over to him in a signal that she trusts him to take care of the girl she’s spent meticulous time raising and cultivating into the person she is today.

“I trust you to take care of my girl, she is now yours,” Rosemary tells Harry, her tone is calm and full of emotion as she allows Harry to lean over to kiss her cheek softly.

Harry nods, his usually stable voice shaky as he replies, “I promise, I’ll take care of her until the day I die.”

Rosemary nods before patting his cheek and finding her seat in the audience.

When they are finally standing face-to-face, YN reaches over to thumb off a stray tear that was sliding down his cheek before he turns his head to kiss her thumb then kissing her palm. 

Harry didn’t even acknowledge that there was anyone else watching - it was just him and her.

“Y’look breathtaking, can’t believe y’mine,” Harry murmurs trembling, his chest moving faster than usual and it felt like it was nearly impossible for him to catch his breath as he looked at the woman in front of him.

When it comes to the vows, Bethany hands over her small piece of paper that she had scribbled onto and scratched out multiple times - never quite able to get the wording just right and she says just that.

“I couldn’t find the right words to explain my love for you,” She starts, voice raspy as she looks up to see Harry watching her raptly, eyes intense and only focused on her.

“And maybe there aren’t even words to explain it because nothing felt like enough. It is how I feel a lot of the time with you. I’ll never have enough of you because you’re all-consuming to me. I have never felt happiness like I have with you.”

YN is trying to stifle her tears as she continues, Harry reaches out to rub her arm in reassurance then he lightly brushes over the new necklace he had gifted her, “You’re by far the most complex, closed-off person I have ever met. I feel like you’ve allowed me to crack the code and once I did, I wasn’t disappointed. I’ve cracked my own code, you see.”

“The code to explaining my feelings for you will come with my dedication, love, loyalty to be your wife for the rest of our lives.”

Harry can’t help what he does next despite it not falling in line at the ceremony.

His hands come up to cup her jaw and he sears his lips to hers, kissing her with all the passion and emotion he cannot seem to keep in any longer. It’s too much, has to show her in that moment how much he loves her.

A few of his uncles whistle from the crowd as their wives smack their chests in warning.

YN giggles, returning the kiss before pushing him off. 

The look in his eyes is one she knows extremely well - it sends shivers down her spine and makes her hair stand on end -, the stare down of lust and want.

“Mr. Styles,” The officiant redirects, nodding towards the piece of paper he has in his hand.

“Yeah, sorry,” Harry mumbles, unraveling the wrinkled notecard he had tucked in his inner suit pocket.

“I knew I was in love with you the moment you spilled that drink on me and undressed me in that dodgy employee bathroom,” Harry says with full sincerity, smirking at YN’s blush when he brings up the way they met.

“I tried to talk myself out of it. It was impossible to fall in love in mere minutes of meeting someone but it was the truth. I knew after our first date that I wanted y’to be m’wife. I knew after the second that I wanted y’to be the mother of my babies one day. And by the third date, I was planning on buying you a ring.”

“It sounds insane because it is. I’ve never been an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment, hopeful person before you. You made me throw all that out of the window, you make me feel alive, and when I tell you that you saved me. You saved me, m’love.”

“There is a lot of uncertainty in this world but I can tell you one thing that is absolutely fuckin’ certain -”

“Harry,” YN hisses with an eye-roll at his crude language.

“The one thing that is absolutely certain in this world is that I will always love you, always take care of you, and always do everythin’ in m’power to make you happy.”

The guests in the chairs are quite speechless. 

They’d never heard such passionate, meaningful vows from a couple. 

This was not what they were expecting of Harry who had never once put his heart on his sleeve and right now he’d laid it all out on the table.

--

“YN LN, do you agree to take Harry Edward Styles as your husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant asks, voice ringing against the walls of the castle.

YN has to take a big breath before she replies in a strong, firm voice as her eyes bore into Harry’s, “I do.”

“Harry Edward Styles, do you agree to take YN MN LN as your wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant repeats.

Harry, in ever typical fashion, in his loud, booming voice replies, “Of course I fuckin’ do.”

The guests in the audience laugh lightly as the officiant states, “I now announce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Styles. You may now kiss your bride.”

It doesn’t take more than a second for Harry to step forward, grip her face and pull her in for a kiss, it doesn’t matter that their family is there to him as he licks into her mouth which is bordering on obscene before YN brings it back to a softer, more appropriate one.

He whispers against his lips, barely audible, “Can’t believe y’my fucking wife, m’fucking heart.”

--

As people are moving towards the reception area, Harry manages to find a secluded area of the outside gardens where there is no one in sight.

“Baby, baby, y’married me,” Harry is nearly chanting, like he’s in disbelief, at the same time he’s cornering his new bride up against the brick wall with his mouth trailing sloppy wet kisses down her shoulder.

“Mmm, it was everything I ever imagined, it was so beautiful. Everything I had imagined for our day,” YN replies blissfully, hands running carefully through his meticulously styled hair.

When he bends down and lifts up the bottom of her dress, she giggles when he ducks his head underneath all the tulle and fabric, finding a very skimpy pair of white lace panties that are supposed to be saved for later.

“Harry,” YN scolds half-heartedly, it would only take one person to find them in this undeniable inappropriate situation but she willingly let him push her further against the brick and take one of her legs over his shoulder.

“Baby, these fuckin’ panties,” He groans, muffled by the barrier of the heavy fabric, and she hisses when pulls them down to the thick of her thighs and his mouths finds her center within moments.

“Fu-fuck,” She hisses, trying to keep her moans down as he wastes no time in pushing in two thick fingers to curve towards her front as his tongue laps quickly and sloppily on her clit until it feels like she’s about to explode.

“S’right, fuckin’ m’cunt. I have it f’the rest of my life, found the best one,” Harry mutters against her wet skin, almost to himself like he can’t even believe the words, before he’s back to speeding up his fingers to match the rhythm of his mouth until she’s quivering for a whole other reason now.

It takes a few minutes for Harry to calm himself down enough to be able to go into the reception, he tells YN that he can’t even look at her right now because if he does he’ll be perpetually hard throughout the whole thing.

--

The reception is more of a dinner than a party. 

Fairy lights strung above the two long tables where decadent, mouth-watering food was served with the orchestra playing light, melodic music in the background. ***

It was perfect. 

Their family drank, laughed, ate, and were merry. 

Everyone was basking in each other’s company, congratulating the new couple, and enjoying all the beauty that was surrounding them at the castle. 

There is not much more to say than that. 

--

The honeymoon suite was located on one of the highest floors of the castle, away from all of the other wedding guests and staff.

YN was sure it was beautiful but from the moment she was carried over the threshold, she didn’t see anything but her new husband - he was blinding in his beauty. His skin was glowing, a slight sheen of sweat from the reception, and the still warm bite in the breeze. ***

“Sweetheart, baby. Please let m’undress you, y’my wife,” Harry pleas softly, his hands are everywhere - her face, her shoulders, hips - continuously wandering as if it’s impossible to find one place to settle.

“Please, c’mon. I need you, H,” She agrees, letting him take down the zipper on the side of her gown.

The expensive garment discarded on the floor in a pool of fabric as he fully takes in her lingerie set. ***

“Fuck me, darlin’,” Harry chuckles in amazement, fingertips tracing over the delicate lace that was stitched by Alessandro Michele himself for the bride, "Y’body is a god damn dream, look at you. - fuck.”

“Please,” His wife whimpers, voice desperate as his light and careful touches are no longer enough. 

She needs him close, she needs her husband.

“Okay, okay,” He simpers, moving her back until he can have her right where he wants her, on her back in the middle of the massive, blanket-ridden bed - her white lingerie standing out against the dark duvet.

Harry had always imagined this night. 

To have someone laid out underneath him. 

No rush, no urgency but to truly, physically show that person through touch that you love them.

He starts near her collarbone, feathery heated kisses that warm her skin as she welcomes him with heavy weight on top of her so eager he wasn’t even undressed yet.

When his mouth finds her nipples through the sheer fabric, she pushes her chest up in encouragement as he bites at the nubs with sharp but careful teeth that wet the fabric.

“It feels so good, baby,” YN mewls, letting him nip and suck for a moment before pushing him up until he’s rid of every inch of fabric that had been covering his body.

“M’always gonna make y’feel good. I’ll fuck you wherever, wehenver cause you’re m’wife,” Harry grunts, impatiently reaching behind to unclasp the corset until her breasts spill free and jiggle in a way that makes his mouth water.

“Wait, wait,” YN puts a hand to his cheek when he already has his mouth darting out to lap at her hardened nipple.

“Don’t make me wait, m’heart,” Harry grumbles with a furrowed brow, his hand still unable to stop from reaching up to palm at her full breasts, thumbs rolling the nipples as he stares fiercely up at her.

“You know how you got me a present?” YN murmurs, biting back a whimper when a zip of electricity shoots from her nipple down to where she’s already dripping for him, “I got you something too.”

Harry’s face relaxes, it’s like he finds his grounding again, “Baby, didn’t need t’get me anythin’. Y’the best fuckin’ gift I could have gotten. Does look beautiful sittin’ between y’tits though.”

His new wife giggles, “Well I really hope you like mine….it’s non-refundable.”

He looks at her with confusion even more so when she wriggles down her panties and flips on her belly with her arms resting under chin.

Of course, Harry finds it immediately and she can tell by the deep, pleased growl he emits from the back of his throat, “You fuckin’ didn’t.”

“I did.”

It was his name, small and cursive right on her bum cheek. 

After they got engaged, he went out and got her name tattooed on his pec - much to her dismay. 

She had never talked about returning the favor and had kept it the ultimate surprise.

“I think I almost just came from this,” Harry rasps, his fingers tracing the small ink over and over in awe, “Baby, y’put m’name on your bum. It makes y’look like my property, sweetheart.”

“I am yours,” YN giggles, yelping when she feels his teeth graze the sensitive skin before he’s suckling and licking at his name - can’t take his eyes off the beauty of her.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ are,” He agrees whole-heartedly, his hands calming to cup and palm at her cheeks as he fawns over his wedding present, “This is the best present I’d ever fuckin’ received, fuck - never goin’ to get over this.”

He doesn’t want to look away from the tattoo but knows how he wants to fuck his wife for the first time so he flips her onto her back once again, lips finding hers. 

She whispers, hand wrapping around his cock, “Still have to pay you back for earlier.”

“No blowies tonight, pet. We’re goin’ to do it the right way, m’gonna make love to you,” Harry murmurs, his lips finding hers as he bats her hand away to grasp at his thick base. He teases the sensitive head over her clit and entrance a few times before slowly sinking in.

“Ohh, been ready for you all day. You looked like a fucking wet dream standing at the alter, waiting for me,” YN sighs happily, wriggling her hips to adjust a bit before she spreads her legs and lets Harry rest in between them, “Ever since I saw you in the suit, I’ve been waiting.”

“Yeah, baby? I can tell, y’so wet, warm f’me,” Harry praises, his movements are slow and unrushed, their hips meeting gently as he pushes in each time with care, “Can’t believe y’gonna let me have this for the rest of m’life.”

“I love you so so much,” She utters breathlessly as he continues to make her feel so fucking full - emotionally and physically, “Best husband ever, can’t believe it.”

Harry chuckles tenderly, “Baby, I need y’to come soon. I’m so close, never come this quick. The thought of y’being my wife is making it impossible to last then with the tatto-”

YN soothes his hair in understanding, pushing up to meet their lips and allow their tongues to dance as he lifts her thigh against his hip to thrust in with a bit more force. His thumb comes to her clit to spur her along which doesn’t take much with how aroused she’s been all day.

Harry follows right after, much to his embarrassment of his lack of stamina but can you blame him? He has the hottest fucking wife on the planet.

“Round two?” YN smirks as he leans down to pepper kisses all over her cheeks. She knows the night has just begun.

“Mmm,” He agrees instantly, “Now that we made love, m’gonna fuck y’from behind so I can watch my name jiggle on your arse.”

And that’s what he does. It takes nearly no rebound time, flips her on her belly again to gaze and worship his name as he fills out in no time again. His fingers occasionally dip back between her thighs to tease at her entrance before he swipes her own wetness on the tattoo to lick it off.

She’s tired, exhausted from the events of the day but wants to reach that last orgasm before sleep overtakes them. 

On her hands and knees, Harry doesn’t pound into her like he normally would. 

Instead, he eases back in with eyes darting between his wedding present and where they’re connecting, his thumb diligently rubbing hard and steady circle on her nerves.

“C’mon wifey, need y’to not be stubborn,” Harry goads, feeling his release coming again - he pinches her clit with just enough pressure that has her whining before Harry has to hold her up by the waist as she quivers.

It has him finishing right after with a gentle smack to her bumcheek, the skin already tender and sore from all of his attention on the spot as it was.

“I loved your vows,” YN murmurs against his chest. He had wrapped her up in one of the plush blankets and he had pulled on a tight pair of briefs and they were laying on a lounge chair on the blacony under the italian stars.

“I loved yours just as much, y’did crack the code m’love ‘cause now I’m yours forever,” Harry rumbles, his voice raspy with drowsiness.

Little did they know that in a few short years, they would be back under these italian stars with knowledge that they were growing a little product of their love in her belly.

A litte baby named Ivy, just like the beautiful, lucious nature that had decorated the place in magneificent as they spoke vows - dedicating their lives to each other.

if you’ve ask to be on my taglist and you’re not here - please check your settings because i’ve tried to add you and it didn’t work.

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[venenatd]

just friends; eren jaegar x reader

summary: you and eren are best pals and have both recently be dumped. so, a plan to get over your exes is needed! what’s better than going out on the town trying to find quick fucks >:) also eren is a smug bastard but kinda has a heart of gold??

content: smut / nsfw 18+. minors dni. (choking, unprotected sex, creampie drinking, drunk sex, possessiveness ig? dirty talk, both of them want to be dominant tbh. slight size kink, oral both m and f receiving. female bodied reader) 

i am new to this pls let me know if i should add anything!!

word count: 5.8k words of unedited content 

a/n: uh so i never thought i’d be back on my tumblr bullshit at 23 but hey after years without the app i’m back. i needed to get out the h-word and this is what happened. enjoy and i’m sorry if it’s terrible lmao

“You look different” 

Frowning at the man waiting ever so patiently for you on the sofa, you look a little defeated. “Is that meant to be a compliment, Eren?”. He sighed, raising his eyebrows at you. To be fair, maybe you did. Wearing a figure hugging black dress, that definitely just hid your ass cheeks, hair styled and sprayed in place, dark lipstick and makeup on your face. Usually Eren would have seen you in sweats, always running a little late for class, snack in hand. 

“Different isn’t bad,” he offered, checking the watch that lay on his wrist, “are we ever going to get to the bar? Your plan will fall through if you’re not careful.”

Ah, the plan. Both you and Eren were newly single. In your final year at university, having managed to keep each relationship going until almost the end. Ironic. Weren’t most meant to fail in the first year? But alas, your partners had decided it was the end within a couple of weeks each other, and as you and Eren had been close since you met on orientation day, you each took to the other for comfort. You had done the crying first, going to him the minute your call with the ex had ended. Leaving wet splotches on his shirt, he had calmed you, only for you to do the same to him later. Now the crying was done, it was time to move on, and what better advice to follow than getting under someone to get over another?

“I just need to look hot enough for a guy to fuck me.”

“What a romantic you are.”

“Shut up Er-”

Eren shifted from the couch, interrupting your usual sass, “and what about me, y/n? Do I look beautiful?”. He threw in a wink with his comment, his aura of cockiness always radiating. You rolled your eyes, before studying his figure. His dark hair half pulled back into a bun, the rest draping his neck and onto a deep emerald green silk shirt, with the top few buttons loose, tucked into dark pants. A ring on each hand, fingers with chipping black nail polish, and to top it off, a thin chain on his neck. You hated to admit it and add to his smug demeanour but... the man did look good. 

“Gorgeous as always Eren,” you said sarcastically, even if it was truthful, “I’m sure there will be a queue of women who are wanting to jump on you.”

“Not if they aren’t all taken already,” he taps at his watch. Whilst the two of you had already been drinking as he waited for you to get ready, it was definitely on the later side.

“Order the uber, and we can go.”

Walking over to him and adding shoes to your outfit, you present yourself before him, a cute little smile playing on your lips. He’s staring down at his phone, quickly going through the motions for the ride. Finally, he looks up to catch your eyes. His jade pupils flick down slightly, and he hopes you miss that they land at the cleavage you’re sporting in your current get up. He flicks your nose, earning a scowl from you and a smile from him.

“You look perfect”

The club is far fuller than you both expected, dance floor and tables taken up and crowded round. Luckily, you had managed to secure you and Eren a pair of seats at the bar, and you were currently on your third..? Fourth drink of the evening. Green eyes watch your lips carefully, as you finish the vodka and lemonade. 

“So, anyone take your fancy?” he prompts, looking around at the mess of people.

Humming, you scan the area. There’s some people you recognise from class, but plenty more you don’t know. Fucking friends seems like a bad move, even in your tipsy state, so you look to the strangers faces. They don’t look like him. Ugh. 

There’s a few options though, and as you point them out to Eren they come with brief descriptors: dark hair and stubble, wide set blonde. He tuts at the options, sarcastically letting out a “sure sure, I see the appeal”. 

“And how about you, anyone you like the look of?” you ask with a sigh.

Christ, Eren thinks to himself. It’s been long enough that he hasn’t had to look for someone else. Sure there were attractive people in the world, but with her around, he hadn’t needed to give anyone else a second look. His palm moves to the back of his neck, stretching out behind him with a huff. “Let’s look on the dance floor?” he offers, clearly not as eager as you were tonight. Moving his hand back down, he holds it out for you, pulling towards the throng of people.

He looks effervescently cool like this. Shirt open, hair starting to fall from his bun. Eren is looking around at the people surrounding the two of you. The two of you had been working in circles, allowing each other an eyeful as the club goers move around the space. As a group of guys push their way from the dance floor to the bar, you get shoved towards Eren. Heels were never quite your forte, and you stumble against him, hands on either side of his chest. Grinning down at you with that smug little smile that annoyed you so much, Eren brought large hands to your waist, pushing you away a little. But his hands stay there as he continues to sway to the music, making no effort to break the contact. And so you bring your arms up to his neck, allowing his movements to carry you on time to the song. For the first time in the past couple of weeks, you feel light. Your chest isn’t constricted by some foreign weight. It’s just you and your best friend, buzzed and free.

Colours change above you, as you look up to Eren, him down to you. A playful grin takes his lips as he pulls you a little closer, you so easily accepting the narrowing distance. Your black silk meets his deep green, chest pushing into his. You carefully analyse his features, seeing if he attempts to check you out like earlier. 

Was it the alcohol making your cheeks so warm? Lit up by a purple hue, you watch his eyes return to exploring the crowd, his hand still holding on to you. His smirk falters, his eyebrows creasing together. You’re not moving in circles anymore, Eren pausing in his movements as he thinks about what to do next. He shouldn’t lie to you, but seeing your ex at the bar would really harsh the night. Under his fingers, he can feel your body tense, suddenly unsure at how close the contact between you was. 

But Eren doesn’t want you to know, he doesn’t want you to be distracted by your ex tonight. He doesn’t want to see your hurt little face anymore. The way your eyes would be red and puffy the next day. The way he would feel your shoulders heaving under his arms. You don’t deserve that. Hell, you didn’t deserve the huge amount of shit your ex had put you through over the years he’d known you. Eren would sit back and listen to you rant, support you where he could. But fuck that guy. And he wasn’t sure what sparked in his chest, but Eren’s jade orbs are trained straight back on you. His eyebrows calm, tension releasing from them. As you can turn to scope out whatever had changed his body language so suddenly, he catches your jaw. 

Beginning to slowly move again, his eyes have narrowed, taking in the way the dress hugs you, the shine on your skin from the hot dance floor. Eren couldn’t quite figure out what was intoxicating him right now. Definitely a lot of alcohol, but also a sudden… possessiveness. He didn’t want you in pain anymore. Eren wanted you in pleasure. His breath is suddenly on your neck, making your hair raise. 

“I’ve only seen one person I’m interested in tonight.” 

“Oh?” you squeak, before clearing your throat a little. The new deep notes in his voice catch you off guard. It almost sounds like he’s… No. He’s your best friend. The little looks you’d been giving each other all night were just two people looking out for one another, two people seeing each other happy for the first time in a while. Your voice is calmer as you ask light-heartedly, “and who would that be?” 

His lips are so close to your ear. 

“You.” 

“Eren-” your hands move from behind his neck, resting on his shoulders. You need to see your best friend's face, you need to know if he’s joking right now. If he’s mocking you. When you draw back, you see his face. Smug, as always. Fuck you’ve always wanted to knock that cockiness down a peg. Cheshire smile showing his teeth and his eyes looking down at you. Half lidded eyes, pupils blown. He’s not joking. Fuck.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Your breath is caught in your throat. All too aware suddenly of each of his finger pads pressing into your skin, the contact feeling like fire with the added alcohol. But, you find yourself nodding, the yes just escaping your lips before he’s pressed into them.

Large hands travel to your hip, and up your back, pressing you into him. You can feel his body, tense in exhilaration against you, hands back around his neck. One travels up to the nape of his back, tangling into his hair and pulling him deeper into you. The music is all consuming, you can feel the bass in your body, you can feel Eren against you, you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins. 

Eren’s hand on your back travels up, echoing your placement on him, to hold the back of your neck. He doesn’t want you to go, you feel too good. The heat between your bodies could suffocate him. His thumb puts pressure under your jaw, he isn’t even sure you can feel it. But he can, measuring your pulse racing underneath the pad. He’s smiling into this kiss, this all consuming kiss.

His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, and you’re all too eager to allow him into your mouth. Tasting the whisky from your home, tasting the coke from the club. His teeth take your lip nipping slightly, before sucking the plump of it into his mouth. You both come up for air, eyes meeting in acknowledgment of the situation.

“Wanna get out of here?”

The drive home had only served to heap tension between you. As clearly that it was that you wanted each other, you would have to wait a while longer. Your thighs pressed together, slowly inhaling and exhaling. Going through your mind was whether this was a good idea, staring out at the city passing by you. Eren was your friend. You were dating another man two weeks ago. The same man that had previously asked you if he needed to be worried about Eren. You’d laughed it off, because it was Eren. You were brought out of your thoughts when you felt him grip your leg, a little too harshly at first, before settling, leaving a gentle pattern of circles and lines on your inner thigh. It was Eren.

Just one hallway. You had to make it one hallway to get into your apartment. One hallway left to come to your senses. And just like he read your mind, Eren is once again touching you, just his hand on yours pulling you backwards. You twist just in time, his hands instantly cupping your cheeks as he kisses you, deeply and intensely. Pushing you back into the wall, you pray a neighbour doesn’t walk out now. His knee is pressing gently between your legs, and you allow it. Your fingers sink into Eren’s arms, lightly covered by the fabric yet you can still feel the muscle underneath, relaxing and tensing as he pulls you closer. 

His lips are making their way to your jaw, lifting your chin upwards, tentatively licking the bone before moving downwards still, sucking and nipping and licking your neck. A whimper breaks through. You really need to get inside. Gripping his hair, you sharply pull backwards.

“Not going to play nice, huh?” 

When did he speak like this? The playful and shit-eating grin your friend Eren always wore was replaced by something darker, his words laced with intent. 

“Don’t challenge me.” 

You were off, finally at your door, making quick work with the lock, moving in first before he followed. The door shut as you pushed Eren against it, usual doe eyes being taken over with a deep lust. Your hands are instantly at his belt, as his hands find your face once again. This time he’s grabbing your hair, making you look up at him as he glares down at you. You’re constantly challenging one another in conversation, and it’s translating to the bedroom far too easily. 

Lips are on one another again, as you leave the belt and start towards his shirt. You bite down on his bottom lip, earning a hiss from him, and you feel his hand being brought around your throat. He doesn’t add too much pressure, checking if this turn is indeed okay with you. When you push against the weight, he takes the gleam in your eye as a yes, and uses the force to push you against the next wall, finally moving off the front door. 

It’s a constant battle to get to the bedroom, both of you taking control for short bursts. Eren pulling the thin straps of your dress down, you untucking his shirt. His muscular torso is on full display, and you had never viewed it in this light before. 

Finally he pushes you onto the bed, situating himself between your legs. Your kisses are sloppy and infused with alcohol. Hands are desperate with one another, both of you needing to be closer. Are you scared if the contact ends your thoughts will return to sanity? 

Eren’s hot and heavy over you, his hands seem everywhere at once. Smoothing up your thigh, digging in slightly to the flesh when you grind against one another. His hands rest at your hips for a moment, and he’s looking down at you, still fucking smiling. All at once, he’s flipped you over his prominent hard on pressing into your ass. He’s whispering in your ear, leaving wet kisses along your neck, to your shoulder blades. Fingers take the zip at the back of your dress, slowly and carefully pulling it down, leaving licks and pecks as he goes. It’s torturous. 

You attempt to speed things up by rutting your ass against his crotch, and you think you hear a quiet moan, before his hand is brought down to the fabric, smacking your cheek. You gasp, turning your head to look at him. Eren is too occupied in taking in all of your body, his green eyes are darkened with authority and lust. His nimble fingers play with the short hem of your dress, thumb dipping beneath, before he pushes the silk up. 

You both let out soft fuck’s, as his hands grab at the plump of your ass. It’s like he’s testing the softness, the way your flesh responds to his touch so easily. He slaps at you again, earning a sharp moan from you. Eren’s leaning down, his mouth once again trailing across the apex of your behind, leaving trails of saliva as he goes. Before you can even register the new sensations you can feel a soft pressure against your clothed cunt, just enough to let you know the presence of his hand, but not enough for you to get off on. You’re mewling, once again trying to get closer to him. This time he allows it, eagerly pressing his ring and middle finger to your clit, allowing you to grind upon them. 

Seeing you underneath him like this… it’s new and strange and so fucking hot. He’s watching you desperately try and fill the need building in your core, and he can only feel his cock twitch in his pants as he sees you coming undone. If you wanted more, he could definitely give it to you. Bringing his large hands away, to the flimsy fabric that was covering you, he pulls it down, exposing you to him. His heart and dick fucking jump. His hands return to your ass, watching the jiggle as you move and whimper. Spreading you, he brings his face down, breath tingling on your most sensitive areas.

Your breath catches in your throat as his tongue, gentle at first, licks between your folds. He’s tasting you, he’s moaning into your pussy, as you write beneath him. Eren’s hands are squeezing your ass cheeks, holding you still as you try to grind against his face. 

“Patience, y/n”, he says, with a slap on your behind again. 

“Fuck you,” you hiss. 

“You will be in a minute, baby girl, don’t worry.”

You go to make a retort but he’s instantly back, licking up your slit and a deep moan escapes you. Jesus you can feel the smile on his lips as he’s back on your pussy. Eren is so proud of the sounds he can draw from you. He wonders if your ex could make you come undone so easily. 

You taste sweet and saccharine on him, and he doesn’t hold back the groan as he further works his way into you. Hardened tongue moving it’s way from your entrance down to your clit. He swipes at it, before moving away again. Kissing your thighs, kissing the skin between your holes. Every now and then he’ll move back to your clit, allowing you a moment of pleasure before he’s teasing again. “Fuck, please”. Your whines are being smothered by the sheets, and Eren wants nothing more than to hear them, loud and clear.

Eren’s ringed fingers make their way to your hair, his face lifting from between your legs. He pulls you back round, and holy shit you can see how wet you are on his face. There’s a sheen to his lips and chin, and instinctively you reach up to his neck, pulling him back on top of you. Your tongue meets his, tasting your tartness on his mouth. A hand makes it way back down in between your thighs, playing and parting your folds. Your hand in turn reaches up his neck, pulling sharply at his hair once again. “Eren. More- please” you get out in between staggered breaths. 

“Aw, since you asked so nicely” his eyes watch your expression closely as his thumb rests on your clit, his finger swiftly moving inside you. Your eyebrows raise and knot, eyes wide and lips parted. But he keeps it still as your legs shaked around his arm. “Eren, move” you demand this time. 

“Oh, that’s not so nice. I liked it when you were polite.” He starts to retract his finger, thumb gently swabbing your clit so you’ll know what you miss.

“Please, please, please, Eren, please” you speak before he even gets the first knuckle out. All the teasing was creating a tightness in your lower stomach. 

“Much better.”

You whine as he continues to pull his finger from you, until he pushes it back in, curling his solitary finger up. Your fingernails are pressing deep into the muscle of his bicep, feeling how it moves as he finger fucks you. He’s hitting that perfect spot inside you again and again, and his thumb is swiping eagerly on your clit. 

Eren can feel you fluttering around his finger, desperate for more, desperate to release on him. He adds another finger, your wetness allowing him entrance easily. He wants to fuck you so bad, his cock so hard it felt like it was about to burst. 

He pushes your hands off him, leaving crescent moon indents deep in his skin, he works his way back down. He brings the black silk with him this time, fully being able to take in your body as you’re left naked before him. Holy shit you’re beautiful. He doesn’t want to stare too long and make you shy. But he still kisses his way down, before he’s back at your pussy. 

This time he allows you more movement, letting your fingers work their way back into his hair, letting you roll your hips against his tongue and stubble. 

With his spare hand he pulls out his cock, slowly pulling at it, before he realises he can’t do that for too long without cumming before the main event. Instead he reaches up, rolling your perked nipples in between his fingers. There are so many sensations on your body, and Eren can feel your cunt beginning to tighten around his fingers. You hold your breath before letting out little moans, building towards reaching your height.

“You want to cum on my fingers?

Your back is arching, whispering “yes, yes, yes, please” as your walls are tightening around him. He quickens the pace, making sure to hit that spot inside you over and over. Thighs around his face, he can feel your slick pooling in his mouth, and coating his chin once again. 

Your gummy walls are so tight around his thick fingers, he needs you to finish, watch you fully unravel below him. Sucking and licking at your clit, he’s pushing you towards the edge. 

“Eren-” his name is strangled coming out of you, and then your moaning, undulating your cunt against his mouth, riding out your orgasm. 

His jade eyes look up at you, watching as you pull your head up to look at him, before another wave of pleasure hits you and you have to arch your neck and look back up. He waits for you to come down, letting you fuck his face and fingers. Grinding against his stubble and tongue as you let out pitiful and beautiful moans. You’re so fucking wet, the sounds coming from between the two of you should be forbidden, as you release onto him. 

Finally he withdraws, using his forearm to wipe his face. He lies next to you, allowing you a moment as he draws little circles on your stomach. Eren has never quite looked at you in this light. Sure, you were pretty, and the two of you were obviously close. But now you’d walked a line that couldn’t be undone. You weren’t over your ex, and as okay as Eren was with what had happened between you, he didn’t want you to run. He’s overcome with thoughts, looking down to your chest and the heavy breaths you were taking. All he could pray was that you weren’t pretending he was someone else. 

But as Eren is getting caught up in his own mind, you’re twisting, hand reaching to his crotch, cock having been recaptured by his boxers. Palming him, you feel how big he really is for the first time. Fingers trace the edge of his pants and underwear, and he lifts his hips, allowing you to pull them down. Shit. His dick slapped back to his stomach, precum leaking from the top of his pink head. He was bigger than you’d imagined, because of course you’d imagined it a couple of times.

Your hand looks so small around his cock, but you slowly tease him, his deep green orbs following your movements. Bringing your head down to him, you kitten lick the precum from the top of his dick. He hisses gently, and you look up at him with these big doe eyes, so fucking eager to please.

You push your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks and flattening your tongue as you begin working along his shaft. He moans just at the sight of you, your eyes peeking up through dark lashes. His hand goes through your hair, eagerly pushing you deeper around him. 

He lets out a hoarse, “is this okay?” before you put your own hand on his pushing it for the both of you. You don’t even want to come up for air, you just want him close to you, inside you. 

You were learning far more about each other than you had expected, as Eren takes back over. He pushes himself further into you, muttering a good girl that has you whining. The vibrations around his cock make his hips buck, and now you’re gagging as his length hits the back of your throat. He holds you there instead of letting you off, and your nails are sharp against his thighs.

His head lolls back as he starts to move his hips under you, moving you in turn with your hair. He picks up the pace quickly, allowing saliva to drool from you and straight to his cock. 

Your eyes prick, big fat tears forming at the corners. But you’re enjoying this way too much, the moans and gasps he gives make you moan, pressing your thighs together for some kind of friction. 

He takes your jaw in his grasp, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. Your tongue sits out your mouth, him smacking the head of his dick on it. He notices your tears then, the mascara that’s running a little. He swipes at the corner of your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss into your forehead. 

Bringing you up to him, your dripping folds sliding across his length. His lips are on your cheeks, across your jaw, licking up your neck before reclaiming your plush lips once again. You continue grinding against one another, tongues slipping in and out of each other's mouths. Eventually Eren brings his hands to your hips, lifting you up as you hold his shaft up.

Your foreheads are pressed together as he slowly pushes inside you. The stretch is burning and all-consuming, eyes pricking up again as you feel him hit your furthest wall. Eren breathes out heavily, “So fucking tight”

You roll your hips, allowing some friction from him on your clit. It helps your muscles relax a little, and balancing your hands on his shoulders you push yourself up and down, using his length for your own pleasure. Eren’s eyes don’t leave your form, watching your breasts bounce and how your eyes flutter close as he fills you entirely.

“You really did want to be fucked, huh? Look at you” he teases you, watching as you go to talk back before he thrusts his hips up. It leaves the words caught in your throat.

His pace maintains, holding you in place as he fucks up into you, feeling your cunt clench around him. There are long moments where you hold your breath, holding his cock tight within you. Then you’ll release and moan, before holding it in again. Well, Eren is all too happy to help you with that. 

One hand grabbing the flesh of your hip, the other wrapping around your throat, he pushes into you at a punishing rate. Your eyes go wide at the sudden restriction of your throat, feeling the cold metal of his ring against your pulse. 

“Who knew this about you? That you were such a slut?”

As much as he knows you want to deny it, you want to smack the smugness from his voice, he can feel your pussy tighten around him. He sees your eyes roll back a little. 

“You’re getting tighter.” 

The hand on your hip moves down, attempting to hold you in place whilst letting his thumb press over your clit. The sounds of him slapping against your wetness is obscene, and he’s only distracted from it as you whimper out pathetic yes’s and please’s. 

“You wanna cum?” he’s grunting, trying to keep the pace going until you can reach your peak.

You nod against his wide hand, still tight around your neck. “Oh you can do better than that. I already know how bad you want it, slut.”

“Please Eren, please make me cum. I want to cum, please, please, please” you can barely make out the words, your head going light and body tightening.

“Cum for me.” 

You release, and as he can feel the fluttering of your walls around him, he lets go of your throat. The sudden oxygen as you cum leaves you overwhelmed. Burying yourself in his shoulder, he fucks you through it. Cock slapping up into your cunt over and over, somehow being sucked deeper in as you coat his length with more of your own slick. He can feel your nails breaking the flesh of his back as you’re holding on for dear life, moaning his name and even a fucking thank you into his ear.

As you begin to slow, legs shake as you stay straddled over him. He flips you, Eren now firmly on top, slowly moving in and out of you. The stimulation is intense, your cunt sparking at any sensation. 

Caged between his forearms, his hair is a mess thanks to you. You push tendrils back past his ears as he leans down to kiss you once again. This kiss is different. It feels… less desperate. It feels deep and meaningful, caring even.

Your eyes meet in acknowledgment, both of you too worried to speak about the shift in tone. 

He reaches down instead, pulling your leg up and splitting you on his cock. A tongue swipes at your nipple, biting and playing with each as he gradually picks up pace again. You’re still so fucking wet it’s easy for him to thrust into you at a dizzying pace. You can feel all of him against your gummy walls. Each time he passes that special spot inside you, you moan and gasp, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

His thrusts were becoming more primal, holding your thighs close around his hips. Letting your sweaty bodies collide again and again, his balls slapping against you. The grunts and moans coming from his lips were so infuriatingly erotic. Eren just wanted one more from you, and then he’d let himself finish. If this was to be a drunken mistake, so be it, but he would at least make it memorable. 

Those jade eyes were on you once again, the power and dominance radiating from the immeasurable. He can see you barely being able to hold on, completely fucked out beneath him. You’re moaning and whining, hands moving over the swell of your breasts and playing with your nipples as if it’s going to keep you grounded. 

He sits up, eyes flicking down to where you were conjoined. It took so much restraint not to cum inside you right then and there. Your glistening sex was so tight around him, the wet slapping noises echo again and again. You’re pulling and sucking him in, cream pooling around his length. 

“Give me one more, y/n. I want to feel you cum on my cock.”  

You try to look up at him through heavy lids. Your friend Eren saying this is so taboo. The words he’s said tonight so far from normal for the both of you. You flutter around him, somehow your pussy still wants to be fucked, still wants to push you off the edge one more time. You can feel the coil inside your stomach tightening. 

Eyes rolling back, you can barely keep it together anymore. He’s pounding into you at a startling rate, fingers flicking over your clit again and again and again. 

“P - please, it’s s-so good.” 

Your breaths between words were quick, “you’re so big-”

“Yeah you like that? You like being so full of my cock? Such a pretty face you make when you’re all fucked out.” 

Holy shit.

Eren could tell how much words affected you, your back arching and legs pulling him somehow closer into you.

“Come on, baby. I wanna hear those moans.” he’s grunting, getting so fucking close to losing himself in your cunt. He knows what he wants to hear most though, “say my name. Tell me who’s treating you how you should be”

With that, you’re losing yourself around him again. Writing on the bed, gripping sheets in tightly balled fists. White light taking over your sight as you clench around Eren. This orgasm was the most intense, taking your body by surprise in its overstimulated state. You weren’t even making a noise, just holding on to the high for as long as possible. 

And then you shattered, whining and moaning, whispering his name over and over again. 

As you moved underneath him, Eren kept his punishing pace up until he watched you expel the last of your energy. Name forming on your lips over and over again he falters, releasing inside you. You can feel the stickiness inside you, the sensation of being filled up. Eren watches for a moment as he sees the white pearls forming around your stretched out pussy.

His chest is back on yours as he kisses your neck, shoulders, whatever skin he can. Thrusting back into you a couple of times, he finally pulls out. You feel his cum dripping out of you, but you’re too spent to do anything about it.

Eren lies next to you, both of your bodies attempting to regulate from that. 

“You okay?” 

He’s checking in, making sure he didn’t go too far with someone he genuinely cares for. 

You nod, turning to meet his stare. Giving him a drowsy smile, you’re not sure what comes next. But for now, you’re happy. Curling into his side, he puts an arm round you and lets you rest for a while. As he notices your breathing become deeper, he nestles into you, muttering something about clean up. 

Moving away from you, you can make out some noises of a tap, drawers opening and closing. In your sleepy state you feel him gently wiping at you, two glasses of water being put on the bedside table. Finally he makes his way back to you, and Eren notes how cute you look. Hot and completely fucked out, yes. But also gentle and at peace, allowing the heaviness of sleep taking over.

He rests behind you, wanting to be back in your warmth. He pulls you in closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. The fragrance of you takes over his nostrils, and he’s all too eager to move closer to your hair, pressing one last kiss at the nape of your neck. Whatever tomorrow brings, he hopes it’s not the last time he gets to be this close to you.

[chryza]

Masterpost of what I think about you based on who you simp for in FFXIV I’m going to try and include as many characters I’ve vibe checked as possible but if yours isn’t here comment them and I’ll give you a custom roast for free. If I forgot someone, please refrain from saying “How could you forget x” I have three different memory disorders okay I did my best 😭

The Scions

Minfilia-You think a woman’s tits can redeem anything bad about her and you’re right.

Lyse-You’re a lesbian with a hard-on for destroying capitalism to the point where your friends ask you to maybe tone it down a little

Papalymo-Ur into dads. Not dilfs. Just dads.

Thancred-You like your men ROGUEISH and BLOODIED and BEATEN and BABYGIRLED

Urianger-You have autism or you are currently in an irl relationship with someone who has autism. Thank you for your service

Y’Shtola-okay little sun. (You enjoy being verbally degraded, so this is for you, a compliment)

Tataru-I love you. You want someone who can cook for you and tease you and who in turn you will shower with affection which is the only currency you have to offer

Estinien-I’m gonna be honest the only thing I can offer here is that you like brooding men who are idiots. Don’t go for a joint bank account.

G’raha-If you like GRAHA then you desire strongly a partner you can cuddle like a stuffed animal if you like THE EXARCH then you are a bottom and you like the dark academia aesthetic

Krile-You need a partner that will fill the emotional void left by your mommy issues

Moenbryda-You have autism but you kin urianger instead of crushing on him. Or ur just really into chicks who can crush you with their thighs and you’re mad that people turned it into a meme

ARR

Kan-E-Senna-I don’t believe you. You’ll have to defend yourself to me in a trial by combat

Merlwyb-Your perfect first date is dying side by side with the person you love as you fight for your lives but you’ll probably end up getting a coffee or something

Nanamo-you are SO into the princess and knight aesthetic thing, you LOVE fairytales so much.

Raubahn-You like men with an “I can fix him” flair but who have already been fixed. You’re also touch starved

Lahabrea-The line between annoyance and attraction is a tightrope you walk every day but by god you’re walking it

Cid-GOD you love himbos it’s not even a “haha I love stupid men” thing to you it’s a REQUIREMENT, the men you date need a HIMBO RESUME

Gaius-Your devotion is impressive. No one can tell you what to do with your life. I think you’re a Jane Austen protagonist.

Nero-SCRUNGLY SKRUNKLY MAN HAG BLORBO HEHEHHEHE EVIL SCIENCE

Heavensward

Haurchefant-I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Why don’t you wrap yourself in a blanket and pretend like he’s the one holding you.

Aymeric-Objectively the most stable main character in this godforsaken game, you take your husband material seriously.

Lucia-You’re a lesbian who mains warrior, I shan’t elaborate

Edmont-pathological dilf/gilf enjoyer to the point where you need help and/or jesus

Artoirel-your dream is to become one half of the most powerful power couple to ever power

Emmanellain-You’re gay in a hipster filter flower crowns cavetown kind of way

Ysayle- You were chronically disappointed by stormblood. You say everyone is out of your league but chin up champ, ysayle wanted to fuck a dragon and probably did so you can’t be that bad

Hraesvelgr- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Igeyorhm-What does it matter if a female character is developed, you are horny in the here and now and that’s more important. You probably think femdom is hot too 👀

Stormblood (god help me)

To preface-if any character from stormblood is your simp of choice you automatically get a sticker that says WEEB slapped on your forehead.

Yugiri-I feel like you listen to metal and keep neat pets like tarantulas or snakes. I cannot explain why.

Gosetsu-For want of a proper bushido character you settled on him but then when the Tsuyu plotline happened you genuinely fell in love with him. Kind of a DILF, reblog.

Hien-himbo connoisseur. You own a sword.

Sadu-WOMEN. BIG FAN OF W O M E N. That’s your only personality trait rn but that’s okay, life’s hard.

Zenos-you are a godless degenerate who is unironically into BDSM (it’s okay me too)

Yotsuyu- You know she’s a femme fatale. You know there’s no way that’s going to end well. But you are so allured by her viciousness and tragic backstory what does it matter that you’ll end up dead on the floor. “I can fix her” yeah keep telling yourself that bud.

Fordola-you are genuinely one of the sweetest people in the world and I think you COULD fix her actually.

Asahi-Liar, you’re a fandaniel simp

Shadowbringers

Lyna-you believe drinking your respect women juice is not only an obligation but an honor and you still avert your eyes from the Victoria’s Secret posters in the mall

Kai-Shirr-HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Runar- I feel like I can’t even call you a furry in bad faith. You just love nice men that much. Who cares if he’s a lion.

Feo Ul-Trans. You definitely have an au where the WoL took them up on their offer to become King Titania.

Ran’jit-I…don’t believe you? You’ll have to explain to me why you like him

Ardbert-So soft. So nice. Hnnnn oh yeah we were talking about you. You’re not a himbo enjoyer because you do prefer men who have some brain cells but you DO like em sad and you DO like em muscley

Emet-Selch- He is the character who in the entire game the story tries its hardest to make us simp for. It worked. The only thing I can do is quote another video on this same subject: You are DISEASED.

Elidibus-Someone hits u with the 🥺 and you melt like butter. Your favorite activity is peace and quiet.

Endwalker

Fandaniel-You self-identify as a goblin. You were a theatre kid. You love that he’s sad and insane but you don’t want to fix him. That would ruin the appeal.

Ameliance-“Bro I said I wanted to fuck Ameliance as a joke but bro….I don’t think it’s a joke anymore”

Nidhana-You’re correct. About everything. You’ve never been wrong. You own booty shorts that say “I love women in STEM” on the ass

Vrtra- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jullus-for you, enemies to lovers isn’t just a trope, it’s a lifestyle

Venat-📸 hmm? Oh sorry that was just me taking a picture of you admitting you desperately crave someone to take care of you. Mommy issues. NEXT!

Hermes-you adamantly differentiate between Hermes and Fandaniel, but at what point must the line be drawn for your “I can fix him” complex to kick in hmm??

Hythlodaeus-You have a praise kink. (You also should come be my friend. We can simp for him together ☺️)

[janearts]

are your OCs considered "attractive" in their respective societies. like is bodran considered handsome by dunmer standards, and brii & lucelion by altmer standards?

Great question! Generally speaking, yes, because I intentionally set out to make characters that others would find attractive "in-world". I've gone into detail under the cut.

Bodran: I specifically designed Bodran's character with the idea that he would be attractive to others. I would say that other Dunmer would generally find his outward appearance attractive. However, Bodran was raised in Cyrodiil--and is thus an Outlander--and I think that his perceived attractiveness might drop the moment he opens his mouth (although this is admittedly a possible fate anywhere in Nirn). So he may be more attractive to other Dunmer outside of Morrowind than to, say, an Ashlander. I am basing this entirely off of my experience playing Morrowind because despite playing a Dunmer, the main character is held at arm's length until they establish a reputation for themselves in different areas and for different factions.

Brii: Brii is another character where I thought, 'I am gonna make them beautiful'. Her entire character was created as a pettish response to a guide on how to make beautiful, well-proportioned female elves in Skyrim. That doesn't necessarily mean that she would be considered beautiful by Altmeri standards. I think Nocteriil (who was more concerned with preserving his lineage) perceived her mother, Caelina, as beautiful. Nocteriil's entire decision to betroth his son to Caelina's daughter is rooted in the gamble that Caelina's daughter would come to resemble Caelina in appearance, values, behaviour, everything. He lost that bet.

I personally think Brii is like many haute couture models: to my plebeian eye, there are many stunning men and women who look so conventionally attractive they become almost boring when standing gorgeously next to each other, but then there are the models whose proportions are ever so slightly strange that they are more interesting to look at by comparison. I use Nastya Salenko as an example of a beautiful woman who has a completely different look than your average supermodel. I'd give Brii 50/50: I'm sure there are Altmer out there who think she's stunning and other Altmer who think her facial proportions are all wrong.

Lucelion: I created Lucelion with the idea that he would be the most "flawless" [AN: HEAVY. SARCASM.] of suitors, a paragon of the Thalmor and Altmeri people. So I do headcanon that he would be conventionally attractive by Altmeri standards and that people are willing to put up with his frigidity because they perceive him to be an attractive potential partner physically, socio-economically, etc. I based his appearance off of classical and neoclassical statues of Greek gods and young men, but that is obviously steeped in Western ideals of male beauty, strength, and virtues, not Altmeri. Since Altmeri seem to have straight hair and sharp features in-game, Lucelion likely wouldn't be as attractive to another Altmer as I'm making it out to be in my own story.

Sigurd and Vasilisa are another conventionally attractive pairing. Sigurd makes sense to today's white Western sensibilities, but Vasilisa was a love-letter to my own musculature. I have a beefier, naturally muscular body due only to genetics--(I come from a long and noble line of peasants who I suspect must've pulled their own plows)--and at the time of her design had never really been complimented on my body in a way that did not praise it for what it could do for someone else (lift a thing, throw a thing, kick a thing, punch a thing, you get the idea). While I am grateful for the people in my life who did praise my body and recognise its strength, more often than not if my body was mentioned it was negatively: they didn't date women that muscular, they didn't want to be as "big" as me, etc. I created Vasilisa in conjunction with Sigurd so I could have a narrative in which this harsh-looking muscular Nord woman was socially deemed as attractive, spouse-material by Nordic standards and someone worth courting/pursuing romantically with pride because that simply was not a narrative I saw in my own life at the time.

I bring Sigurd & Vasilisa up despite rarely drawing them because I think they kind of show a theme when paired with the characters I draw more obsessively. When I create characters, I'm usually am either working with the grain of IRL white Western standards of beauty (Lucelion, Brii, etc.) or I'm working against the grain of IRL white Western standards of beauty (Vasilisa & Morowa as muscular women, Roisia as a fat black woman, Ambrocius as an emaciated elderly man, Offa as a fat elderly man, etc.). It's usually either to underscore something in my narrative--(like Lucelion is supposed to be an ideal suitor, but is actually the worst)--or to indulge in a fantasy where certain aspects of my characters' humanity (their musculature, their weight, their features, the colour/tone of their skin, whatever) are cause for desire, adulation, and even a certain level of mundanity (they're able to just exist in peace) that may not be present or as commonplace in the bit of the Western world that I specifically live in.

I keep saying white and Western because I want to acknowledge that I'm coming from a very specific place (personally) and reacting to a very specific place (geographically) that may not apply to other's experiences living in other parts of the world. That's not to say my characters' lived experiences are 100% reflective of my own (e.g., Morowa and Roisia are Black women and I am white, Ambrocius and Offa are elderly men and I am neither of those things, etc.), but I specifically wanted a fantasy world for my characters where--for example--being a fat woman and finding love is not so riddled with hardship (dealing with sexual invisibility, wading through fetishists when not invisible, fielding vocalised assumptions about your level of health due to the amount of fat a person perceives, that sort of shit). So I know it sounds vain and self-aggrandising to say, 'Why yes my characters are considered attractive by other people in this fantasy world!' when really I set out to craft a world that catered to or at the very least gave space for them.