#my parents made us turn off the automatic update or whatever for the app and apparently that will let us keep it

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 6.6.24

Dream 1 I was in bed with him and we were kissing. These were the most passionate kisses I've ever had in my entire life. I’ve never been kissed with so much desire before and I’ve never kissed anyone back like that either. It felt real. It felt ‘new’, like we’d only done this a few times and since I overwhelmed with the intensity, I kept pulling myself away, stopping and starting etc. Things were progressing and I asked if he had a condom and he gestured toward the chest of draws beside the bed. When I reached for one, I saw an opened packet of then and then had a sense of deja vu, like we had in fact done this before. Then I heard my parent's voices. I thought we were alone at a hotel, or in a room in a mansion so I wasn't expecting to hear them or see them. The sounds were as if I was at home, s conversation conducted too loud as always, and then my dad was vacuuming. I thought that perhaps if I stayed silent that this would all go away but the sound of the vacuum was getting closer to us.

He told me to hide on the side of the bed that was furthest away from the door and placed a duvet on top of me to hide under. There was clutter already on the ground so it was easy for me to blend in as a pile of clothes or something. It was also way too easy to find me and someone did. It wasn't either of my parents, it was a female who gleaned where I was instantly and walked straight toward my hiding spot. She dragged me out and I was basically naked. Then I was in trouble but I don't know exactly what for and who with but it felt whatever it was, it was blown out of proportion. All I know is our rendezvous got interrupted and I had to go now. Then something big happened that had to do with us but also not at all. Like some sort of disaster and there was some sadness as if someone had died.

In fact, I thought what had happened was all over but it was still happening. I was in a bathroom of one of the hotel rooms talking to a girl about the aftermath. Then we heard a knocking sound. At first I thought nothing of it and ignored it but then I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of a man hiding in the shower. The sound was the tapping of his gun against the glass. I hurried away. I don't think the girl realised it yet but I wasn't about to risk my life to save her. I walked away down the stairs and it was going through the mind that the situation that we thought was over was still happening.

I thought about the conversation I had with the girl. I think maybe she was one his other lovers. She said that he had messaged her after the incident happened and I said, Well isn't that really nice of him, are you going to reply? I was playing dumb with her, I don't think she knew I was his lover too. I had received some messages from him too I hadn't opened up them up yet. I suddenly knew that there was three women and he had messaged all of us to see how we were doing. The feeling I got was that this is unusual, as if usually you don't do nice things like that. And it was, you know, just a nice thing. I was not jealous, it didn't even come to mind. It was just clear to me that he checked up on these women because he was the type of person who genuinely cares about other people's wellbeing. Even if they had been his lovers, or were still, it felt inconsequential. I knew what we had and that it was on a whole other level. It actually made me more attracted to him to see his caring nature in action.

Afterward I opened up his messages to read them, but they had been deleted somehow. I could see that it used to be there because of the blank speech bubbles. Then I went into my chats on an app and I saw words turn into dust and shimmer off the screen. I saw a bunch of messages just vanish before my eyes. Then I saw a notification about a new update which had been installed where all low-vibe messages would be automatically deleted and you wouldn't be able to read them in the first place. I thought, how bizarre.

Then I dreamt a random scene with my childhood best friend AT. We were hanging out after not having done so in a while and she said she had been dating her guy for the past 5 months. In my head I thought was like I'm sure it's been longer than that because I knew she had been dating him around the same time I stopped talking to her which was at least a year ago.

Then I woke up to record this and then I went back to sleep.

Dream 2 Now we're at work. But it's like I created this. I am becoming conscious of doing so. I closed my eyes and heard the scene in my mind, some other co-worker was talking and I focused in on them. It was black behind my eyelids but I knew the energy of where I was. I felt it, but I couldn’t see it yet and then I heard his voice and I honed in on this especially. I made it clearer or rather I stood next to him and I felt his energy as I always do when I stand beside him but I focused in on it, so I couldn’t deny it.

Then I was there, the scene. We were talking awhile working. The way he was looking at me at one point was just everything. I knew he was so in love with me. No one just looks at another person like that. I had just started my shift and while speaking to him, I was trying to focus on the work flow. There was tray of medicine that seemed unfinished or discarded, so I put all the paperwork and medications away. But then a young woman appeared at the counter who was waiting for her script and it turns out it was the tray of things I had just packed away. Her name was Kate Di Leo or something, she looked to be in her early 20's. While beside him, I was feeling his energy but I was also trying to fix it the young women's script. I had to sort through the entire pile of scripts from today to find her ones so that I could re-key it into the computer. Then there was another issue where I couldn't find one of the medications like it was lost so I couldn't even re-label it. There were three medications in total.

He was trying to ask me, to tell me, I had a dream. He said, I had a dream where you had to hide and I knew he was talking about the previous dream because he gestured toward the side of the cabinet just as he had done in the dream when he did so toward the side of the bed. I really wanted to dissect this revelation, I wanted to fully marvel at the synchronicity, to just think about what I wanted to think about but I couldn't. Then he said, Do you remember the video game we used to play? My memory flashed, I remembered and I said, Yes. I believe he was referring to the game of Earth. I felt a lot of love and connection with him and I wanted to ask him more, about the dream and what he remembered of it but we were at work and it would have to wait.

The girl seemed like she had somewhere to be. I had already made her wait for a very long time. Then some woman came to check on her but it wasn't her mum, it felt like her agent or something. I think she was a stage actress and they were going to be late for the show. I managed to get most of it fixed up but the third medicine was for some weird bandage ribbon thing which we had to specially order in. SM was being really vague about whether it would even come in from the supplier or not and I was annoyed because I needed concrete answers to be able to let her know what was going on. I didn’t blame him too much though, I guess I was playing a game he was no longer playing. He did try to help me, he was just so calm about it and I could tell he deemed it all very unimportant. To get him 'on my level', I said to him, If you really like me then help me (properly) and he agreed. I saw NM, a co-worker, watching us as I said this to him.

I told the girl what was going on and then she left but I realised I forgot to tell her one last thing so I tried to run after her. But within a split second it looked different now, and the exit of the pharmacy became the entrance to a grand theater, which wasn't there before. A performance was about to start. To get down fast enough to intercept the girl, I wanted to use the exit I had always used, but now it meant I was hopping into the theater amongst the audience seats. I just wanted to do what I always do, even though everything looked different now and there were things in the way. And this way was shorter, and I'd be more likely to reach the girl. Before I could do so, the lady agent from before appeared and said, What are you doing? I explained to her and she was said just go down the other way, down the stairs, over there, you don't need to do what you had done before and I agreed.

[kuiinncedes]

This tag rant got way too long oops lmao

[harley-sunday]

The Draw (02)

Summary: The whirlwind starts at the 2018 ACE Comic Con in Phoenix but you’re not sure where it will end...

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings: Language.

Word count: 3336

AN: For those of you have been around a little longer - this story was originally published on my secondary blog Leijona Writes, but then taken down again, so you may have already read it :) Either way, please let me know what you think! I don’t have a taglist, but if you follow Harley Sunday x Sebastian Stan you should see any update I post. Masterlist

Your heart starts beating a little faster and you wonder if it’s really him, and just as you’re about to tap the notification to open the email, your boss calls and all of a sudden you find yourself trying to solve a shitstorm of epic proportions because one of your colleagues forgot to submit a document due this morning. You work your ass of trying to make things right so that by ten-thirty you get to call your boss to let her know that the problem is solved and that you’re heading out. She praises your work and promises she’ll cover your overtime, but she’s made promises like that before and you have yet to see any compensation so you shrug it off and tell her you’ll see her again on Monday.

At least the drive home is quick this time of night, with almost no traffic, but by the time you get home you’re so tired that you head straight to bed, completely forgetting about the email you were supposed to read and the presents you were supposed to order.

When you wake up that Saturday it’s close to noon, but you feel a bit better and decide to make the most of your weekend, treating yourself to a breakfast downtown before hitting the shops to spend some money on things you don’t really need. You even manage to find two presents for Jake at the local comic store, one of them a Winter Soldier figurine. It’s then your mind flashes back to yesterday and you mumble a quiet “Shit” when you realize you haven’t read the email yet.

You decide to head back to the same place you had breakfast at this morning, but this time you order a cappuccino and find a quiet table in a corner somewhere, turning your phone over in your hand absentmindedly as you wait for the waitress to bring you your drink. You smile at her once she does and take a deep breath, unlocking your phone and pulling up your email app, your finger hovering over the subject line for a second before you press down and the email opens.

Dear (Y/N),

First of all let me apologize for taking such a long time to reply. It’s been almost three months since Comic Con and while your email was forwarded to me shortly after I wanted to sit down and write a proper reply rather than a rushed and meaningless ‘Thank you for your email’.

But honesty, thank you for your email :)

And of course I remember meeting Jake and you, I think your photo shoot was the most fun I had that day - so thank you for that! You two seem to have a great bond and I think any kid would be lucky to have an aunt like you. I feel bad for the kids who bullied him, because they missed out on having a great friend. Will you please tell Jake that the Winter Soldier has his back no matter what?

Anthony and I both think Jake was the real superhero of that day, helping us out when Captain America bailed on us, and we would therefore like to invite both Jake, his parents and you to the premiere of Infinity War in Los Angeles. Someone from Marvel Studios will contact you by email later this week to send you all the information.

I really hope you can make it, maybe we even get to take another picture for your wall ;)

Thanks again for reaching out, I’ll see you in L.A.!

- Sebastian

You stare at your screen, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before a smile creeps on your face. You read the email again and you let out a quiet “Oh my God,” when you realize Sebastian just made sure you get to give Jake the coolest birthday present ever.

You want to call your brother to tell him the news, but you make yourself wait until you get home, just to calm yourself down enough that you won’t be rambling when you talk to him. You order another cappuccino, the smile not leaving your face and you’re sure the waitress thinks you’re a little strange but honestly you don’t care.

“Hey loser,”

“You’re the loser,” you counter automatically and you smile when you hear your brother chuckle on the other end.

“What’s up?” he asks. “You find anything for Jake’s birthday yet?”

“Yup,” you answer with a smile, letting yourself fall down on your couch, propping your feet up on the coffee table, “Once again, I am the best aunt ever.”

You hear your brother sigh, “What did you do now?”

“Hey,” you say, a little offended. “But ok, listen, after we went to Comic Con I sent an email to Sebastian Stan’s agency, just to thank him for taking the time for us that day, you know?” You wait for your brother to say something, but he stays quiet so you continue, “Well, he emailed back yesterday and invited the four of us to the world premier of Infinity War!”

“Huh,”

“Huh?” you echo, sitting up now because you can feel an argument coming.

“I’m not crazy about this idea,” your brother says.

“Why?”

“Ok, don’t get mad, but last week Jake asked us why we never take him anywhere fun,” he clears his throat, “Sarah took it pretty hard when he said that it’s always you he gets to do fun stuff with,”

“Nate-” you try, but he continues before you have a chance to say anything else.

“I just think that maybe taking him to Comic Con was enough for a while, you know? I mean, it was Legoland last year, SeaWorld the year before that, the kid’s not even eight yet, I think it’s all bit much, and flying to Los Angeles just for a premiere, I don’t know,”

“But it’s all of us, Nate,” you argue, “You and Sarah get to come too, we could make a weekend out of it-”

“Don’t.” He sighs. “Listen, we haven’t told Jake, but things aren’t going great at work right now, ok? Money’s kind of tight and I just, we can’t go.”

You know better than to offer to help out financially, because he nearly bit your head off that time you suggested you’d pay for a trip to Disneyland for all four of you. Instead you try to change his mind one last time, “Can’t I just take Jake then? I promise I won’t plan anything else until he’s at least ten.”

“No,” he says in a way that tells you he’s not going to give in, “and I would really appreciate it if you would just let this go. I’m using my older brother card for this one.”

“Fine,” you grumble, knowing you’ve lost this round. “I’ll see you next weekend then?”

“Yeah, party starts at two,”

“Alright,” you sigh, “See you then.”

You hear him mumble a quiet “Bye,” before he ends the call and you lean back, tapping your phone against your chin as you try to understand your brother’s point of view. And honestly, you know he’s making a valid point, because you do spoil Jake, and it’s not just with these annual trips but also with movie nights and whatever else you can think of that a seven-year old would want to do. Now guilty about making Sarah feel bad you remind yourself to talk to her next Saturday, because you really don’t want to let this come between your sister-in-law and you.  

You send your brother a text then, telling him he was right and that he can have his older brother card back for another argument that’s no doubt bound to happen some time later this year and he sends you the peace-sign emoji in return and you smile, knowing that you two are good.

You decide to answer Sebastian that same night, not wanting to drag this out any longer. Plus, it seems like polite thing to do.

Dear Sebastian,

Thank you so much for your email and for inviting us to the Infinity War premiere. It was really nice to read you had fun during the photo shoot, I know Jake had the time of his life!

Unfortunately Jake and his parents won’t be able to make it out to Los Angeles. Thank you again for your kind offer, and please know that the Winter Soldier will always been the one we’re rooting for over here in Charlotte!

All the best,

(Y/N)

The better part of your Sunday is spend doing all sorts of chores you’ve been putting off all week, and so you find yourself at Whole Foods right in the middle of the Sunday afternoon rush, with kids running up and down the aisles and a bunch of babies crying in a weird sort of symphony that make it almost impossible for you to remember what you wrote down on the shopping list you conveniently forgot at home. An old lady has run her shopping cart into your ankles twice over the course of the last minute, making you want to turn around and yell obscenities at her, because fuck lady, watch where you’re going, but you know that would be frowned upon by the other shoppers so instead you wait for her to pass you and then run into her once on purpose, a fake smile plastered on your face as you shrug at her when she turns around and gives you that old lady look filled with disapproval.  

You’re feeling miserable and you think about just leaving your shopping cart right here, in the middle of the store, while you escape this hellhole and live on takeaway the rest of the week, but then you wouldn’t be the responsible adult that everyone expects you to be, now would you? So you suck it up and make your way down the aisles, grabbing everything you think you might need at a steady space.

After unloading all your groceries onto the belt you take out your phone, while you wait for the cashier to ring up the lady in front of you, and your heart skips a beat when you see you have another email from Sebastian. You can feel your cheeks heating up and you quickly look around to see if anyone’s noticed, but Jesus, of course no one cares. You quickly put your phone back in your pocket, not wanting to read the email just yet. Slightly distracted you load your groceries into your shopping bag and pay for everything, answering the cashier’s, “Thank you for shopping at Whole Foods,” with a cheerful, “You too!”

You throw her an apologetic smile but she’s already onto the next customer and so you hurry back to your car, quickly putting the bags in your trunk and returning the shopping cart to its designated area. You take out your phone again and sit down on the driver’s seat, pulling up your email app.

Have to keep this short b/c I’m in between takes, but am sorry to hear Jake and his parents can’t make it. You’re still coming right?

-S

You whisper a quiet, “Holy fuck,” and read his message again, your heart beating just a little faster than usual. Closing the email you tap the icon for the texting app and send your best friend a quick note.

You home?

She replies within seconds saying that she is and so you start the car and head over to her place.

“Shut. Up.” Lauren says, eyes wide in shock, after you’ve told her everything that’s happened since your trip to Phoenix. She lets herself fall back against the couch and shakes her head, “This is crazy!”

“I know,” you agree, half laughing, half in shock as well, because somehow it seems even less real now that you’ve told your best friend.

“You are gonna go though, right?” she says, throwing you a look that tells you  she’s going to kick your ass all the way over there if you even dare to say no.

Still, you just shrug, because you’re not completely convinced it’s such a good idea.

“Oh come on,” she groans, rolling her eyes, “Not only is the man ridiculously good-looking, but he’s inviting you to the premiere of one of those superhero movies you like so much-”

“The Avengers,” you mutter quietly, because for as long as you have been friends she’s never understood your fascination with comic books.

“Yeah, whatever,” she says, waving her hand dismissively, “Listen, honey, you’re going. End of story.”

“Yeah, but,”

“Ah, ah, ah,” she holds up a finger to silence you, “No buts. Not this time.”

“Laur, come on,” you whine, but really it’s for show because yeah, you’re going.

She knows it too because she just shakes her head at you, taking another sip of her tea before she continues, “So, when is this premiere exactly?”

You’re about to say you don’t know, but of course you’ve already looked it up online, “The 27th.”

“Alright, so here’s what you’re going to do,” Lauren sits up, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She starts ticking things off on her fingers, “Tomorrow you’re going to request some time off from work, preferably two weeks, with some time before and after the premiere,”

You nod, because so far you’re liking where this is going.

“Then, you’re going to email Mr Smooth, saying that, yes, of course you’ll still come,” she sticks out her tongue at you after you’ve rolled your eyes at her, “Next, we’re going to go shopping next Saturday, because you need to look fierce as sh-”

“I can’t,” you interrupt, “Jake’s birthday party is on Saturday.”

“Ok fine,” she sighs, a little too dramatically, “I’ll clear my schedule and we’ll go on Sunday. I suggest you take at least,” she pauses for effect, “at least two days off before they have you fly out to L.A., so we can do some last-minute shopping, get a haircut, a mani-pedi, you know the drill.”

“This all sounds surprisingly similar to our prom prep,” you laugh, “minus the flying to L.A. part, of course.”

“Well yeah,” she states matter-of-factly, “the ultimate goal is the same, isn’t it?”

You just stare at her, not sure what she’s getting at.

“Getting a hot guy to take you back to his hotel room at the end of the night. No?”

Once you get home and your groceries are unpacked and stored away you take out a crumpled up piece of paper from your back pocket, because your best friend is the kind of person who fiercely believes in to-do lists and has written everything down for you. You stick it on the fridge and decide to tackle task number one and two right away, grabbing your laptop from the kitchen table and nestling yourself on the couch right.

You login to your work email and write a short message to your boss, asking for two weeks off starting Wednesday two weeks from now before you then login to your private email and type a quick reply to Sebastian.

I’d love to.

(Y/N)

On Monday your boss tries argues that she can’t really miss you for two weeks, wanting you to take no more than a week, but then you remind her of all the overtime you’ve worked without ever writing it down and she’s quick to give you the extra week.

And even though Sebastian hasn’t replied yet, you do get an email from Julie from Marvel Studios that afternoon, asking you for your personal details. You reply to her that same evening, letting her know that you are more than happy to pay for your ticket because you’re adding an extra four days in L.A. after the premiere but when she sends you your itinerary on Tuesday you see that everything is taken care of and you send both her and Sebastian an email to thank them for their generosity.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Jake exclaims once he’s opened your presents, the biggest smile on his face. He carefully takes the Winter Soldier figurine out of the box and examines it thoroughly.

You plant a kiss on his head before you head to drinks table for a cup of coffee. Sarah’s just filling the tray of cupcakes and you bump hips with her, “Congratulations on with the kid,”

“Thanks,”

“Listen, I uh,” you clear your throat, figuring you might as well get this out of the way, “I’m really sorry if I went a little overboard with taking Jake on trips the last couple of years. Nate told me it was all a bit much and I just want you to know that I’ll tone it down from now on.”

She nods, but doesn’t say anything right away, her gaze landing on Jake, who’s trying on the roller-blades you got him, not paying much attention to the new backpack his parents gave him.

“Shit,” you mutter, turning towards her, “I’m sorry, Sarah. I promise it won’t happen again.”

She smiles then, “Listen, I’m not sure if Nate should have made such a big deal out of it, but I do appreciate what you’re saying. I mean, Jake just turned eight, you know? There’s plenty of time to take him on trips once he’s a little older.”

“Yeah,” you agree and give her a hug, “thanks, sis.”

She nods and walks back to the kitchen, probably getting some more food.

Your brother joins you then, grabbing a cupcake and taking a big bite, following up with a sip of his coffee, “Great party, huh?”

You look at him in amusement, because if there’s one things your parents taught you it was not to speak with your mouth full, but both of you have long foregone that rule. You take a deep breath, because after discussing this thoroughly with your best friend, you and Lauren decided it was best to be honest with him, “So, I’m flying out to L.A. in two weeks.”

He just nods.

It’s making you a little uncomfortable and so you try to explain, “I told Sebastian you couldn’t make it and then he asked if I would still come and I figured I might as well, right?”

“Of course,” Nathan offers, and he’s smiling now, “I just wanted to make you feel bad, loser.” He laughs, “I’m all for my little sister going to this fancy premiere with this handsome movie star. You get it, girl,” he mocks, clicking his fingers.

You smack his arm, but can’t help but laugh, “Asshole.”

“Ugh, no,” Lauren wrinkles her nose in disgust at the dress you’re wearing and hands you two new ones to try one.

Looking at yourself in the mirror you can’t help but agree with her sentiment, the pink dress your wearing doing nothing for your skin tone or figure. You decide to go with the floor length dress Lauren’s handed you, which looks remarkably like the Elie Saab dress you’ve been obsessed with every since you saw it on Elizabeth Banks a couple of years ago.

Lauren audibly gasps when you step out of the changing room, “Wow,”

You turn around, your mouth dropping when you see yourself in the mirror.

“It’s like it’s made for you,” Lauren stammers, as she stands next to you and grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze, “You look gorgeous.”

[hydrus]

Version 424

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.gz

I had a good week. There are some quality of life improvements and faster tag search across the board.

The update will take some time this week to update a cache. If you do not sync to the PTR, it will be just a few seconds. If you sync to the PTR, expect about 5-15 minutes.

faster tag search

In the second half of 2020, I tried several times to tune the database for different sorts of wildcard tag search, which is used in all autocomplete lookups and many file searches. I was sometimes able to get small clients always running well, or complicated large systems running, well, but I failed to get it good for all situations with code alone--the structure of the database tag lookup cache made the tuning difficult.

So, I have updated how that cache works. Rather than always searching one big master table, the client can now 'zoom' in on the appropriate search context based on the type of search page or manage tags dialog or whatever.

Pretty much anything related to autocomplete and tag-based file searches is faster. Most importantly, the worst-case time for these searches is greatly improved. Complicated searches, like a 'namespace:*anything*' file search, should no longer have sudden gigantic lag spikes. These searches may still take ten seconds or more when searching millions of tags and files, but they won't accidentally lag out for two minutes on some tiny 'my tags' search with only 60 results.

The only exception in my testing is 'number of tags' searches still have bad cancelability. It is better, but not great. I'll keep working here.

The cache replaces an existing one. It will take some time to build it on update. If you do not sync with the PTR, it should just be a few seconds. If you sync with the PTR on an SSD, it should be 5-15 minutes (on my heavy client with a nice SSD, it was 7 minutes). If you sync with the PTR on an HDD, it will take significantly longer, so please plan for it. If you sync with the PTR, you will see some numbers count up as it builds the different parts of the cache. There will be some deletion work to start, then counting up to perhaps a million, and then up to 16 million or so, at about 30,000 a second.

I have more plans here, and more work to do to optimise the tag display system, but I will let this new cache breathe for a bit before going back in here with a machete.

full list

new tag caches:

as 2020 ended, I attempted but failed to tune fast search for all kinds of clients, big and small and simple and complex. unable to guarantee decent speeds with just code, I have redesigned the tag text search cache. rather than checking the gigantic master table for all namespace and subtag lookups, the client can now zoom in on a small fast cache limited to the current search context, so doing a clever lookup on 'my tags' will no longer be hampered by having PTR beside it, and doing a solid lookup on the PTR or 'all known tags' will no longer be accidentally hampered by an optimisation for another situation

the 424 update will take some time to generate the new caches for your existing data. if you don't sync with the PTR, it should be a few seconds. if you do sync, it will be about ten minutes on an SSD (seems about 30,000 definitions a second), and somewhat longer on an HDD. it will count up the tags as it goes, and on the PTR there will be a bit of deletion work, then one or two counts up to perhaps a million, and then one big count up to about 16 million.

in my initial tests, this cache adds about 1-2% additional processing time to mass tag changes, but a wide variety of tag lookups and file searches are now significantly faster, have much nicer worst-case lag spikes, and should cancel quicker. these are best in any specific tag domain, although 'all known tags' should still be much better. a future expansion of the tag cache is planned to finally address clean and accurate 'all known tags' searches

summary; all these should be faster and cancel faster:

autocomplete searches for 'subtag*' (most normal searches) are optimised

autocomplete searches for 'namespace:*' are optimised, including when the namespace itself is a wildcard

autocomplete searches for wildcards with an asterisk in the middle of the subtag are optimised

autocomplete searches for wildcards with an asterisk at the beginning of the subtag are optimised (but this is still generally the slowest query)

autocomplete searches for namespace and subtag wildcard combinations are optimised, with either or both as a wildcard of any type

autocomplete searches for '*' are optimised

tag file searches without a namespace (i.e. in file search, with any namespace) are optimised

namespace file searches are optimised, including when the namespace is a wildcard

wildcard file searches are optimised, for all the classes of wildcard above

'tag as number' file searches are optimised

'has ><= x namespace tags' file searches are optimised for speed, including when the namespace is a wildcard, but still have bad cancelability on large domains. I'll work on this more

.

other tag cache info:

the 'tag text search cache' regeneration routine under the _database->regenerate_ menu is replaced with a service specific routine for the new cache

on boot, if the client sees any of the new cache tables are missing, it notifies you and regenerates the affected subsection of the cache

an old method of performing complex wildcard searches was using surplus data and has been eliminated. these searches are now also computationally cheaper beyond the other domain-based optimisations this week

I have identified the next bottleneck in the tag search pipeline and have a plan to speed all the above up even further, which can all be done in code

thanks to user feedback, I have also identified other wasteful overhead in tag processing. I'll keep working!

while the planned 'all known tags' cache will be useful since most file searches are in this domain, it will be a bit of work, so I will first let this new lookup cache breathe for a bit. 'all known tags' will not be nearly as big as the 'all known files/combined file' caches that have hit us with so much CPU recently. I expect it to increase the client.caches.db size by about 5%

unified all increments or decrements to autocomplete count caches, no matter the service domain, to one location

unified how autocomplete counts are fetched across different service domains

optimised specific and combined autocomplete count cache update overhead for new, existing, and deleted tags

optimised display autocomplete count cache updates for tags with multiple siblings or parents

optimised the 'local tags cache', which does fast tag text fetching for local files, when new tags or files are added/removed from the 'all local files' domain. this now occurs in the same unified autocomplete count update process. it now also caches pending tags that have no current count

merged 'exact match' autocomplete tag searching code into generalised wildcard search

misc autocomplete and other tag code cleanup and harmonisation

ditched some old mass UNION queries that were not cancelling well

.

the rest:

when you paste queries into a sub, the summary 'these were/were not added' dialog now always appears, and if you paste empty whitespace, it now says so

the manage siblings/parents dialogs now specify which services apply which siblings, whether they are fully synced, the current display tag sync maintenance settings, and ultimately whether you can expect changes to apply quickly after dialog ok

when a text entry dialog comes with suggestion buttons, it now focuses the text box by default. sorry for the trouble here! (issue #765)

updated a couple petition reason suggestions in manage tags and parents

added a shortcut to 'main window' to refresh _manage tags'_ related tags suggestions with 'thorough' duration. in future, these dialog-specific actions will be moved out of 'main window', these have just been a 'temporary' patch

updated the 'running from source' and 'install' help with some new numbers and info about mpv, and updated the 'server' help with a document helpfully provided by a user explaining that the server does not do what many new users think

sped up 'has tags' file searches in certain situations, mostly when there are few if any other search predicates

the default e621 parser now pulls meta tags, thank you to a user for providing this

the default nitter timeline url classes are updated, thank you to a user for providing this

the new little hook that takes 'file:///' off of paths pasted into the filename tagging path text now also normalises the path, so if you are on Windows, the URI's slashes will be Windows-corrected to backlashes. it also now removes wrapping quotes

the hydrus logger again correctly restores stdout and stderr after it is closed on program exit (this was disabled for some reason, but fingers crossed it seems fine now!)

an issue where automatically started duplicate potentials file search could not cancel when shutdown 'stop work' button was clicked or where idle maintenance mode turned off should be fixed

the shutdown maintenance work for the first client shutdown now has a little text saying it is just some quick initialisation work

for hopefully the last and completely final time, I think I fixed the invalid tag repair function for certain sorts of tags applied to currently local files

improved the way a job thread was pulling new jobs (issue #750)

next week

The poll is done! Here's the link again: https://www.survey-maker.com/results3310902xA574481e-102#tab-2

Multiple local file services has won. It looks like better URL sharing and file alternates will be soon after, as well. Thank you for voting--seeing what isn't popular is as useful as seeing what is.

Unfortunately, I cannot start that immediately. I have a fire to put out next week related to the network objects lagging too much when saving their updates. I will spend the rest of Q1 doing the delayed network improvements. So, with luck, I will get going on local file services in Q2.

I also have a ton of messages to catch up on!

EDIT: While the new search cache is working great on normal search pages, on 'all known files'/'PTR' domain, which you usually see in 'manage tags' for the PTR, performance is bad. Often 2-6 seconds to fetch results. I regret this, and I am sorry for the inconvenience. I have identified the slowdown to one link in the chain, and will work on it next week.

[succeedly]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

Today’s Sponsor: WriQ from Texthelp is a new FREE Add-on for Google Docs that helps teachers easily assess student writing and track progress over time by automatically scoring students’ spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. It also incorporates rubrics so teachers can provide meaningful, qualitative feedback to encourage the writing journey.

This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to http://ift.tt/2y91EpU

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: http://ift.tt/2kMsFwn

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://ift.tt/1Edlhxg

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know published first on http://ift.tt/2jn9f0m

[growthvue]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

Today’s Sponsor: WriQ from Texthelp is a new FREE Add-on for Google Docs that helps teachers easily assess student writing and track progress over time by automatically scoring students’ spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. It also incorporates rubrics so teachers can provide meaningful, qualitative feedback to encourage the writing journey.

This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to http://ift.tt/2y91EpU

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: http://ift.tt/2kMsFwn

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://ift.tt/1Edlhxg

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know published first on http://ift.tt/2xx6Oyq

[athena29stone]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

Today’s Sponsor: WriQ from Texthelp is a new FREE Add-on for Google Docs that helps teachers easily assess student writing and track progress over time by automatically scoring students’ spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. It also incorporates rubrics so teachers can provide meaningful, qualitative feedback to encourage the writing journey.

This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to www.texthelp.com/wriq

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: www.coolcatteacher.com/e169

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://icanhelpline.org/

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

from Cool Cat Teacher BlogCool Cat Teacher Blog http://www.coolcatteacher.com/bullying-cyberbullying-things-need-know/

[patriciaanderson357-blog]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

Today’s Sponsor: WriQ from Texthelp is a new FREE Add-on for Google Docs that helps teachers easily assess student writing and track progress over time by automatically scoring students’ spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. It also incorporates rubrics so teachers can provide meaningful, qualitative feedback to encourage the writing journey.

This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to www.texthelp.com/wriq

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: www.coolcatteacher.com/e169

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://icanhelpline.org/

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

[aira26soonas]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

Today’s Sponsor: WriQ from Texthelp is a new FREE Add-on for Google Docs that helps teachers easily assess student writing and track progress over time by automatically scoring students’ spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. It also incorporates rubrics so teachers can provide meaningful, qualitative feedback to encourage the writing journey.

This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to www.texthelp.com/wriq

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: www.coolcatteacher.com/e169

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://icanhelpline.org/

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a ���sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

from Cool Cat Teacher BlogCool Cat Teacher Blog http://www.coolcatteacher.com/bullying-cyberbullying-things-need-know/

[ralph31ortiz]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

Today’s Sponsor: WriQ from Texthelp is a new FREE Add-on for Google Docs that helps teachers easily assess student writing and track progress over time by automatically scoring students’ spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. It also incorporates rubrics so teachers can provide meaningful, qualitative feedback to encourage the writing journey.

This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to www.texthelp.com/wriq

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: www.coolcatteacher.com/e169

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://icanhelpline.org/

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

from Cool Cat Teacher BlogCool Cat Teacher Blog http://www.coolcatteacher.com/bullying-cyberbullying-things-need-know/

[hydrus]

Version 368

windows

zip

exe

os x

app

linux

tar.gz

source

tar.gz

I had a great week. The PTR has moved successfully, and I got multiple local tag services working.

PTR has moved

The Public Tag Repository has changed management. I am no longer running it or involved in working as a janitor. There is more information here:

https://hydrus.tumblr.com/post/187561442294/the-ptr-will-undergo-a-change-of-management-in-two

As a result, the PTR no longer has bandwidth limits! The user now running it is also putting together a janitorial team to catch up on petitions as well. About ten million delete mapping petitions and six thousand add sibling petitions had piled up! If you would like to talk to the new management, they are available on the discord. The current plan is to keep running the PTR with the same loose rules as I did--the main concern was overcoming my bandwidth limits.

If you currently sync with the PTR, you will be given a yes/no dialog when you update asking if you would like to keep using the PTR at the new location. If you select yes, the client will automatically update your service (the only credentials difference is that instead of it being at hydrus.no-ip.org, it is now at ptr.hydrus.network), and you will keep syncing and be able to continue uploading without skipping a beat. If you select no, your PTR will pause. If you still sync with my read-only test file repository, this will be paused automatically.

While I am very thankful for the 650 million submissions I have had to the PTR over the past seven years, it is a load off my mind to no longer be responsible for it. I much prefer being a developer than an administrator and hope to use the extra time and upcoming feedback to work on improving the admin side of hydrus repositories, which, due to me being the primary user, have always had debug-tier UI and half-broken features.

The various areas in the help have been updated to reflect that the PTR is no longer mine, and the quick setup under the help menu is now just help->add the public tag repository.

running your own continuance of the PTR

If you are an advanced user and would like to run your own version of the PTR from where I left off, be that a public or private thing, I have uploaded the same sanitized and 'frozen' version of the server db we used in the transfer here:

https://mega.nz/#F!w7REiS7a!bTKhQvZP48Fpo-zj5MAlhQ

If you do run your own and would like it to be public, let me know and I'll happily add its info to my help files and the auto-setup links.

Hydrus repositories are anonymous. No IPs or other identifying info is logged. There was not much to sanitize, but out of an abundance of caution I deleted the various petition 'reasons' people have submitted over the years, as some had some personal jokes to me, and I collapsed the content submission timestamp record across the db to be no more detailed than what a syncing client already knows. Since this timestamp collapse reduces server-specific knowledge about uploads and does not affect server operation, it is now standard practise for repositories going forward. If you run a repository, updating this week will take a few minutes (or, ha ha, if you have 650 million mappings, about five hours) to update its existing data.

I also uploaded Hydrus Tag Archives of the PTR's tag/sibling/parent content, which I simply made with the new tag migration system and am making available for convenience. If you know python or SQLite and would like to play with this data, check them out.

Be warned that these archives unpack to large files that work best on an SSD. The server db is a 5.5GB .7z that will ultimately grow (after following an internal readme guide) to 42GB or so. As I write this document, the namespaced/unnamespaced mappings Hydrus Tag Archives are not yet uploaded (even zipped, they are 5GB each), so please check back later if you do not yet see them.

multiple local tag services

I planned to only start work on multiple local tag services (being able to have more than one 'local tags', just like you can have more than one tag repository) this week, but I accidentally finished it! it turned out not to be as huge a job as I thought, so I just piled some time into it and got it done.

So you can now add new 'local tag' services under services->manage services. You can add (and delete) as many as you want, but you have to have at least one. It is now possible, for instance, to create a new separate local tag service just for your subjective 'favourite'-style tags, or one that only pulls tags from a certain booru, or from filename imports. You can also use the new tag migration system to move tags between your local tag services. I know some users have wanted a separate local tag service as a prep area for what they will submit to the PTR--I think all the tools are now in place for this.

As a side note, just to emphasise that it is not the only local service you can have, if your local tags service still has the default name 'local tags', it will be renamed to the new default 'my tags' on update. Feel free to rename it to whatever you like, again under manage services.

Once I have some better tag show/hide tech working, I'll likely add additional default tag services that do not show their content in the main UI but do pull all tags from downloaders and filenames from hard drive imports, so you will be able to retroactively 'mine' this information store for your real tag services if you miss it the first time around.

I am really pleased with this feature. If you have been interested in it yourself, let me know how you get on. Adding multiple local file services is another long-planned feature, unfortunately significantly more complicated (I think 8-12 times at least), but I would like to hear how tags go for now.

full list

multiple local tag services:

you can now add additional local tag services under services->manage services!

new local tag services will appear in manage tags and tag import options and so on, just like when you add a tag repository

you can also delete local tag services, but you must have at least one

the default local tag service created for a new client is now renamed from 'local tags' to 'my tags'. any existing user with their local tag service called 'local tags' will be renamed on update to 'my tags'

.

ptr migration:

the ptr has been successfully migrated to user management! hydrus dev is no longer involved in running or administering it. the old bandwidth limits are removed! it has the same port and access key, but instead of hydrus.no-ip.org, it is now at ptr.hydrus.network

on update, if you sync with the ptr, you will get a yes/no asking if you want to continue using it at the new location. on yes, it'll update your server's address automatically. on no, it'll leave it as-is and pause it. if you still have a connection to my old read-only file repo, that will be paused

changed the auto repo setup command to be _help->add the public tag repository_. it points to the new location

as repo processing and related maintenance is now nicer, and secondarily since bandwidth limits are less a problem for the ptr specifically, the default clientside hydrus bandwidth limit of 64MB/day is lifted to 512MB/day. any users who are still on the old default will be updated

updated the help regarding the public tag repository, both in general description and the specific setup details

a copy of the same sanitized and frozen PTR db used to start the new PTR, and convenient tag archives of its content, are now available at https://mega.nz/#F!w7REiS7a!bTKhQvZP48Fpo-zj5MAlhQ

.

the rest:

fixed a small bug related to the new 'caught up' repository mechanic for clients that only just added (or desynced) a repository

rewrote the tag migration startup job to handle specific 'x files' jobs better--they should now start relatively instantly, no matter the size of the tag service

on 'all known files' tag migrations, a startup optimisation will now be applied if the tag service is huge

fixed the tag filter's advanced panel's 'add' buttons, which were not hooked up correctly

the internal backup job now leaves a non-auto-removing 'backup complete!' message when finished

on update, server hydrus repositories will collapse all their existing content timestamps to a single value per update. also, all future content uploads will collapse similarly, meaning all update content has the same timestamp. this adds a further layer of anonymity and is a mid-step towards future serverside db compaction (I think I can ultimately reduce server.mappings.db filesize by ~33%). if you have a tag repo with 10M+ mappings, this will take some time

hydrus servers now generate new cert/key files on boot if they are missing. whenever they generate a new cert/key, they now print a notification to the log

misc help fixes and updates, and removed some ancient help that referred to old systems

corrected journalling->journaling typo for the new experimental launch parameter

next week

The PTR work took much longer than I expected, and I was unable to get to modified date or file maintenance improvements, so I will have a re-do for those next week. For the ongoing tag work, I will start work on updating the tag 'censorship' system, which is still running on very old code, to more of a 'don't show these tags in places x, y, z', and see about a related database cache to speed up various sibling/display tag choices.

This week was a little bonkers and I fell behind on messages. I am sorry for the delay and will put some time aside to catch up when I can. I think my immediate busy period is done for a bit (although we'll be back to it for the wx->Qt conversion in mid-October), so I'll be grateful to take it a bit easier for a while.

[succeedly]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

Today’s Sponsor: WriQ from Texthelp is a new FREE Add-on for Google Docs that helps teachers easily assess student writing and track progress over time by automatically scoring students’ spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. It also incorporates rubrics so teachers can provide meaningful, qualitative feedback to encourage the writing journey.

This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to http://ift.tt/2y91EpU

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: http://ift.tt/2kMsFwn

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://ift.tt/1Edlhxg

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know published first on http://ift.tt/2jn9f0m

[succeedly]

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Anne Collier on episode 169 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

Anne Collier helps us understand the statistics on bullying and cyberbullying. We talk about targets, those who bully and how to respond when helping those embroiled in this situation. October is the month we work to take a stand against bullying, so this is a topic of emphasis this month for many of us.

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This handy free Google Docs add-on tracks things like: time spent writing, spelling-grammar-and punctuation error rates and pulls it into a clear graphical view in your teacher dashboard. To learn more about Wriq go to http://ift.tt/2y91EpU

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

Below is an enhanced transcript, modified for your reading pleasure. All comments in the shaded green box are my own. For guests and hyperlinks to resources, scroll down.

***

Enhanced Transcript

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know

Shownotes: http://ift.tt/2kMsFwn

From Audio File: 169 Anne Collier @annecollier Thursday, October 12, 2017

Vicki: Today we’re talking with my friend, Anne Collier @annecollier, about how we can reduce cyberbullying.

So, Anne, how bad is cyberbullying now?

Current bullying and cyberbullying statistics

Ann: Well, I think that it’s really important to be clear that it’s far from the epidemic that we sometimes hear about in the news media.

There was a major update from the National Academy last year that looked at what’s really going on here. We do know that it’s still less of a problem than in-person bullying, that the range that the National Academy found for in-person school-based bullying is 18-31% of U.S. young people have experienced it or (been) affected by it. And for cyberbullying, it’s 7-15%.

So they looked at a whole range of research – lots of different studies – and that was the range of kids who were affected by it, in both cases.

Vicki: That’s still too many. I mean it’s… roughly 3 in 10 in face-to-face…

Ann: Yes.

Vicki: And almost 2 in 10 cyberbullying.

How do we help kids who are targets?

Some educators tend to just flip out and say, “Take away the phone! Take away the phone! Turn it off!”

What do we do that’s rational – that works?

Ann: Yeah. Well, that’s such an important question!

And it really isn’t as much about technology as it is about humanity. Right?

It’s a behavioral thing, and what we see on devices and on screens is kind of just sort of the tip of the iceberg. It’s just a freeze frame of what’s going on in a peer relationship, right, or a peer group.

Vicki: Right.

Ann: And usually it involves school, right, because most of kids’ waking hours and most of their social lives revolve around school.

So it’s really important for us to think about what’s going on with the kids. Taking away devices is – gosh – not even a band-aid, really. It doesn’t even really change the symptom. So we’ve got to work on the relationships instead.

The biggest mistakes educators can make when dealing with bullying

Vicki: You’ve worked with all kinds of organizations to combat this problem of bullying and cyberbullying.

When an educator is trusted enough by a kid or a parent to find out what’s happening, what is the worst thing that can we can do?

Ann: Overreact… Or try to take matter entirely into their own hands.

Because bullying and cyberbullying are about a loss of dignity and a loss of control from the child.

Vicki: (agrees)

Ann: Adults can really aggravate the problem by just trying to fix things themselves.

Vicki: Yeah.

Ann: So the most important thing we can do is know that every situation or case is as unique as the people involved. You’ve kind of got to get to the bottom of what’s going on among those people. There’s not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Vicki: Right. You know, one of the things that you and I have talked about before is that they used to say, “Stop, Block, and Tell.”

But I always say, “Stop, Screenshot, Block, and Tell.” Getting those screenshots is so important!

And once you block, sometimes you lose all that data… so you can’t say and show what’s happening.

Ann: Yeah. It’s really important to have some evidence if a child needs a screenshot, or needs to take a picture of a screen with another device, or whatever. Yeah, it’s good to have evidence. And it is good to tell and help kids that that’s not tattling. It’s about seeking help. And that’s really important.

What really helps the targets of bullying

They also tell us in research done actually with victims of bullying is that what helps them the most is to be really heard, to be really listened to. Whether that’s a peer, like a bystander being an upstander, or just a friend being a friend, or it’s an adult that they turn to. (It’s) that we really listen and kind of understand that it’s a process, that there isn’t as I said before a “quick fix.”

Vicki: You know, I lived it for five years. I know this. I know it! I don’t know what I would have done if my parents hadn’t listened because sometimes you have to go through it to get to it. You have to go through it to get to the solution. It’s not something you can wave a magic wand and fix, you know?

Ann: Yeah, and really listening to them and going through the process with them – rather than taking matters into our own hands – helps them see that they matter. It helps them get to hope. They see that they’re not alone and that this will pass. If we can help them with that, that is really going far toward really resolving the situation.

Vicki: So you’ve talked about, “Let’s not overreact.”

Let’s not think we can have a cookie-cutter approach, that everything is the same.

And to really listen.

Do you think there are some challenges that educators have as we deal with cyberbullying – and even bullying?

Educators can deal with these issues because it isn’t as much about technology as most educators think

Ann: I do. I think that very often — those of us who didn’t grow up with these technologies and media — think that this is a technology issue.

So we think that we’re unfamiliar with what’s involved, we’re not trained for this. And that’s simply not true because it’s a human thing more than it’s a technological thing.

We are trained. We do know how to work with kids. We do understand child development. We can use those tools and skill and that knowledge that we have to help our children.

How do we help children in the middle of a mass attack?

Vicki: How can you help when a child is in the middle of the situation, and it really is a mass bullying type of attack going on, and it feels like it’s everywhere. Like it feels like it’s on every social media platform, everywhere they go at school, and they don’t feel like there is an escape. What can we do to kind of take a little bit of the pressure off in that circumstance so that we can get through it?

I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. If I couldn’t have gone home and petted my dog and been away from it, I don’t know how I would have made it — with social media and not being able to get away from it.

Ann: Well, I think we do need to shut down the devices sometimes. I think we need to help children kind of cut through that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). They don’t like the drama any more than we do. There are always kids… I run a social media helpline for schools now, and what we’ve found is that most of the cases that come to us through school administrators come to the school administrators through the students themselves.

So there are always students who get sick of this crap and want to fix it and want it to go away.

We need to work with our students to make that happen. We can do that by reporting abuse in apps and services, and we can use them as our allies. Especially student leaders. I think we need to remember that there’s a digital component now to leadership and citizenship. Those students want to help, and so we need to look at those resources that we have… and work with them.

Vicki: So here’s the flip side of the coin…

I understand the – I’m not going to say “victim”. Victim is not the right word to use. I like to say, “survivor.”

Ann: (agrees)

Vicki: You know, you made it through. You lived it.

Ann: Yep, you were a target.

Vicki: Yeah.

OK, so Anne, let’s take a different approach for just a moment.

We’ve talked about the person who’s the target.

How do we help the parents of kids who are bullying understand?

Let’s talk about the kids who are doing this, and helping the parents of the children who are participating in this behavior to understand and handle it.

You know, a lot of times parents will make excuses and say, “Oh, kids are kids. This happened when I was (young). Bullying has been around forever. But they’re not really bullying. This is just what kids do.”

How do we help the children? The statistics of those who bully are actually scarier than being a target. If I had to pick, I would pick to be the target. Those who bully tend to really have some bad things happen in their lives.

But how do we help the parents of those who are participating in this behavior understand how to help their children not do this?

Ann: I don’t know if there’s a clear answer to that when the parents involved are determined to believe that their children are great, that their children don’t have a problem.

I think we see examples sometimes of parents who are bullying, themselves. They’re modeling that behavior for their kids. So they’re in denial about anybody victimizing anybody.

I don’t think there’s a clear answer or a blanket answer to that question. We’ve got to try to work with those parents as best we can, to the extent that they’re open to understanding what’s going on and the impacts on some of the kids – generalizing the situation a little bit, rather than blaming.

If we ourselves stay away from targeted blaming, then generally the conversation can open up a little bit. But we’ve got to test the waters, right? We have to understand where the parents are coming from, first, before we can have a calm, rational conversation.

Vicki: Yeah. And it’s tough.

So as we finish up, Anne, could you give us sort of a 30-second platform speech about the importance of actively working with this all year long?

We can’t just talk about bullying once a year: it is a year-long thing

I mean, October is Anti-Bullying Month. But we can’t pick up the mantle one month out of the year. It is something we have to live.

So could you kind of inspire us to help lead the charge with helping us focus on this topic all year long?

Ann: This really is something that we have to live. It’s about human relations. It is all year long and all life long, I think.

The research shows that the real solution — especially at the high school level when we really don’t know how to make bullying prevention work in grades 9-12 – that what the real solution really is positive school climate.

That’s a community-wide thing. That starts with helping teachers feel safe to keep classrooms safe places for students to learn and collaborate. So the whole school community has to be involved – not really just in bullying prevention, but in creating a school culture where everybody can thrive.

Vicki: And that’s so important.

So, educators, I do think it’s good for us to research this topic deeply, bring it back to the forefront of our mind – at least once a year so that we can read the latest research, read the latest information.

But we do also have to know that 3 in 10 kids? That’s unacceptable.

Almost 2 in 10? That’s unacceptable.

It is so many children in our schools. I just ask for you to please be part of the solution.

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford

Bio as submitted

Anne Collier is the founder and executive director of The Net Safety Collaborative, the national nonprofit organization that runs iCanHelpline.org, the U.S.’s new social media helpline for schools.

A youth advocate with more than 20 years’ experience researching, writing and speaking about young digital media users, Anne has served on three national task forces on Internet safety and currently serves on the Trust & Safety advisory boards of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. Based with her family in the Seattle area, she blogs at NetFamilyNews.org.

Blog: http://ift.tt/1Edlhxg

Twitter: @annecollier

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.) This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

Bullying and Cyberbullying: The Things You Need to Know published first on http://ift.tt/2jn9f0m