#my parents basically never swear and the few occasions where they did were really upsetting

[ringneckedpheasant]

every day I get more and more angry that my roommates got a puppy that they were completely fucking unprepared for like. it is your own goddamn fault that it acts the way it does because you don’t know how to train a puppy and apparently don’t care to learn and there’s no reason to be swearing at your kids because it chewed stuff up while they were home and you were at work. they are like 10 and 5 and should not be held responsible for what the Family Dog is doing

[cfyslvr]

Nightmares

→ author's note: my first suna fic 👹 mini story time of how I got this idea: a few days ago I had a little nightmare and since ur girl is a little baby (I'm so cringe it's not even funny anymore, someone pls just execute me already) I was really shaken but bc I'm a lonely hoe I had no one to comfort me 😞💔 but lucky y/n does! so here's a short fic of suna basically just comforting y/n after a nightmare!!

→ warnings: maybe a bit ooc(?), a teensy-weensy bit of angst 🤏🏻, pet names (love, princess, crybaby), a bit rushed

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it was a quiet night, the only thing that could he heard was the faint sound of rain falling outside your window. you were laying in bed next to your boyfriend, rintarou. it wasn't a rare occasion that he stayed over, infact, since the two of you have been together for a year now, he would often come by after practice uninvited, but your parents never really minded, they seemed to really like him since he was making their daughter happy.

right now, rintarou's back was facing you, not because you two fought, but because by the time you finished showering, he was already fast asleep at the edge of the bed, so you didn't really have space to squeeze into his arms and just decided to lay down on the other side of the bed.

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"we need to talk." you heard your boyfriend say as the two of you walked up to the roof of the school. his behavior felt different, usually when you two went to lunch together, he would be holding your hand and letting you cling to him like a koala, but now, he barely even looked at you, although you tried brushing it off with him being upset over the fact he was scolded for coming to volleyball practice late yesterday because he was too busy hanging out with you.

"of course, love. what's wrong?" you ask. you didn't like the way the conversation started, but you tried not to overthink it, it was probably just your brain tricking you by making you think of the worst case scenario.

rintarou looked back at you, but it wasn't the usual affectionate look that he usually gave you, his eyes seemed.. cold, which made you even more anxious.

"I think we should break up." you felt your heart sink when you heard his words. where was this coming from? you thought your relationship was the best thing that ever happened to both of you and he wanted to break up?! you felt your eyes welling up with tears as you let out a nervous laugh.

"you're joking, right? y-you know it's not funny to joke about these things.." you mumbled out, hoping he would give you that signature smirk of his and say it was a prank, but all you received from him was a cold glare.

"look y/n.. I think you're a great girl and all, but you're just a distraction to me. how many times did I get scolded because of you at practice? I'm sorry, but I want to focus on volleyball and our relationship is stopping me from doing so." you wanted the ground to open and swallow you whole. no no no, this wasn't happening..

"w-wait.. no, rin, please.. please don't leave me, I'll do better, I swear I will!" you tried to beg, reaching out to grab his hand, but he quickly retrieved it before you could touch him.

"goodbye, y/n". he said coldly and walked away, leaving you shaking and sobbing on the roof of the school.

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your eyes shot open and you gasped, looking around and realizing you were in your room, and rintarou was still sleeping soundly next to you. it was just a dream.. you try to tell yourself, but you couldn't help the tears running down your face. it just felt too real, and the mere thought of suna leaving you sent a harsh shiver down your spine. you look back at rintarou, he looked absolutely adorable while sleeping and you almost felt bad waking him up, but you couldn't help it, you needed his reassurance badly.

"rin.." you gently tap his shoulder. no response.

"rinnie.." you try again, lightly shaking him. this time, his fox like eyes opened up partially, and basically doubled in size when he heard your soft sobs. he immediately turned around and saw you, tears streaming down your face as you held your hand against your mouth in order to silence any sounds that threatened to leave your lips.

"what's wrong, princess?" he asked, his voice even deeper and sleepier than usual as he wrapped his strong arms around you in a comforting manner. the second you felt his arms holding you, you immediately burst into quiet sobs, trying not to be too loud so you don't wake your parents up. rintarou was confused, to say the least, he didn't quite understand why you were suddenly crying, but he still didn't let you go, his arms still wrapped tightly around you as one of his hands gently stroked your hair. you tried to choke back tears in order to explain yourself, but he stopped you.

"I'm here, princess, take your time, I'm not going anywhere." he whispered into your ear and kissed the top of your head. gosh, his voice was even more attractive when he was sleepy, and the way he was whispering comfortingly to you made him that much more attractive. after a few minutes, you finally calmed down enough to start talking.

"I had a nightmare, it was- you were- you broke up with me.. b-because I was a distraction and you wanted to focus on volleyball and- and-"

"shh.." he cut you off, placing another kiss on your head before continuing. "it was just a dream, love, I would never do that to you. infact, I'd rather quit volleyball forever than leave you because of it." he whispered reassuringly. you were surprised when you heard his words, you knew just how much he enjoyed volleyball, so the thought of him quitting for you was quite a surprise, but also extremely comforting to hear.

"I'll never leave you, my princess, I promise you that." rintarou placed his hand under your chin and gently lifted it up, making you look up at him. he smiled when he saw your pouty expression and gently wiped your tears before leaning in to kiss your pouty lips. "I love you, you crybaby.." he teased.

"shut up.." you mumbled out and hid your face in his chest. "I love you too.." the soft smile on rintarou's face turned into a playful smirk when he heard your response.

"c'mon, let's go back to sleep." he suggested and slowly laid down, pulling you on top of him so that your head was resting on his chest and gave him a perfect position to wrap his strong arms around you protectively.

"it was just a nightmare, okay? I promise I'll never leave you. you're my one and only, and nothing matters to me more than you." he reassured you one last time and gave you another kiss on the head before closing his eyes.

"I love you.." you mumbled into his chest.

"I love you too, my princess.." he responded groggily, already half asleep. with that, both of you eventually fell asleep, although now that you were in his arms, you were safe from all nightmares..

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© cfyslvr 2024 | please don't steal or repost my work on other platforms !! | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated !!

[masterthespianduchovny]

No please share your theory if only you want to though. Well I mean David did kinda almost slip up when he said years age Nate's the single guy lol & him unintentionally always bringing her up and Gillian is getting flustered and shit and whatnot all the time when he's brought up. In your OWN opinion do you think that DD is also captivated/charmed with GA's charisma and her being her in general?

Wait, what does “Nate’s the single guy” refer to again?

Full disclosure: the only thing I claim to be true is that David and Gillian are friends, which I’ve stated before last Sunday.

This is all speculation on my end and I don’t claim it’s the truth by any means.

Personally, the only way I can make sense of David and Gillian’s is if they were/are having a torrid affair.

Antis will claim this is a fantasy of mine, but I don’t fantasize about people having affairs. However, I am realistic that these things happen.

As I mentioned in another post, how is Gillian still flustered about a question she literally answers several times a year for almost 30 years? Why can’t she give a straight answer? Why does she lie and sometimes contradict herself?

Because she was and currently is involved with David in an on again/off again affair. Depending on her answer, they’re either involved at that moment and/or she’s upset at him.

Where as David can answer the question, but he slips up in other ways.

And it explains why they’d lie about it.

Let’s get something clear: they’ve always admitted that they’ve had a complicated relationship, which they are open about, but they’ve never said they’ve hated each other.

Part of the reason is that they both have dominant personalities, the other reason is that they couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to each other for whatever reason. Then when they got married to their respective spouses and had kids, but still fucked around, they couldn’t expose their indiscretions.

They’re both trying to protect their kids, David more so than Gillian. David’s father cheating, and then leaving his mom for his mistress, deeply shaped David and his brother. People may think this is ironjc and hypocritical, but sometimes kids mimic their parents behavior. Even the toxic shit. As a result, he doesn’t want his kids finding out what he did because he knows what it could do to them. It’s also to spare their former spouses embarrassment (to be honest, I’m not sure David and Gillian would ever receive public blowback for it, esp now. People already think they’re fucking, so what difference would it make). Acknowledging that they ever hooked up leads to questions about when, and then people doing the math.

Gillian’s marriage was from ‘94-‘97 and David’s from ‘97-‘14. Okay, so maybe Gillian was single for a few months and David was single during his separations from tea. I’m not sure there’s a lot of overlap where they were both technically single at the same time. David dated Perry and the woman who dated det white. There has almost always been a relationship going on.

So if they’ve been fucking on and off for almost 30 years, it wasn’t always when both were single. One or both of them were definitely in relationships.

Something we know happened: Gillian admitted that they were talking (as in trying to see if it could lead somewhere) when David lost interest because she wasn’t from New York.

So there is evidence straight out of Gillian’s mouth that when they first met they kinda hit it off in that way before David walked away.

During the dark ages, you know the time they famously ‘hated’ each other, David elopes and doesn’t tell Gillian. Months later, her and David are doing an interview for print or video where they interview each other. Gillian brings up tea and is like, “you must’ve really liked tea to marry her so quick” and “why didn’t you tell me that you were getting married?” This isn’t verbatim, but the gist of it. David says, “you’re still mad about that?”

Let’s take a moment to note how weird that is. They hate each other, right? Why would Gillian fucking care that David didn’t tell her he was getting married and that it happened so quick? It doesn’t matter, but she was hurt by that. She really was. It wasn’t friend hurt, it was jealousy and betrayal.

David hates Gillian, but makes snarky remarks about her boyfriend Roland aka “six pack” (or is it eight pack). “Well, he hates her right, so it makes sense he’d make cracks about her boyfriend?” Well, years later, it’s an inside joke between them.

Their failed relationships are inside jokes to them. Does anyone else find it unusual how often they joke about their failed marriages and relationships? How is this something apart of their narrative or necessary when talking about how long they’ve known each other?

The only way their behavior and responses makes sense to me is if their relationship is messy as hell.

Why would you lie about how close you are to someone unless you had something to hide?

When you comb through their history and read/see what they were doing and what they said, it doesn’t match this narrative that they hated each other. They were at a difficult point in their relationship, personally and professionally, and that bled over into work and interviews. But they’ve always maintained that it wasn’t hate, it was just complicated.

I think in “ghost in the machine” Gillian pretends to blow David. They insisted on doing the “cut” FTF loss and I write cut in parenthesis because, although it was cut, it shouldn’t have existed. They made out twice for fun. Why? Why would you make out for fun with someone you hate? And didn’t this occur during the dark ages? In the unnatural, after tea leaves the set, David starts humping Gillian and she giggles. Yes, two people who hate each other right there.

Their relationship was so tense and complicated because they were stubborn, proud, and strong willed. Those type of people are bound to clash. Throw in their work environment and their relationships, it was a pressure cooker. An explosion waiting to happen.

When people say they hated each other, the question is why and how did they get over that?

There’s never an answer for it. Or when they do claim something, it’s disproven.

And that’s because they didn’t.

If they hated each other, they wouldn’t have done IWTB, various cons together, or even seasons 10 and 11.

Could I be 100% wrong about this, ABSOLUTELY.

Look, it’s no skin off my back if I’m wrong.

I just can never shake the sensation of how Gillian looks like she’s about to be caught or is scared when she’s on a late night show and someone says “picture” and “David” in the same sentence. She looks shaken.

What was up with their kimmel interview?

Why we they basically flirting while talking about hooking up with women?

I expect anon hate accusing me of saying “you said that they had a horrid affair doe 30 years.” 🙄 “but Gillian was so in love with Peter and David loves young pussy.” But my whole point is, I don’t know what to make of their relationship and this is the only thing that makes sense to me. Both of those things could be true in these hypothetical anon hates, it still doesn’t change what I said.

Hell, even Téa while freshly married to David described his relationship with Gillian as sibling like and like a married couple. What does that even mean?

People who talk about ���Téa had to force David to invite Gillian to his housewarming party.” Was that because he hated Gillian or because they used to fuck/were fucking. Inviting your former/current lover to your new home with your new wife. A bit awkward and disrespectful, wouldn’t you say?

Keep in mind, months before (or a year before), he was her date to the Emmys, as a friend, to support her because her divorce was being announced that day. How do you go from that to hating each other and not wanting this person to come to your housewarming party?

What was the catalyst?

Why did the fall out?

Didn’t their tension start around the time he married Téa? 🌚

I don’t know if it’s in the same year or within the same 12 months of his marriage, but she’s mad at David at one award show and kissing him on the cheek at another. Dark ages, right?

Remember when Gillian gave a spot on, unfavorable assessment of David and he responded to it all hurt and moody? 😂

And, how could I forget, let’s think of the other suspect behaviors.

1. David: we only email like five times a year.

Gillian: that’s what you like to tell people.

2. Gillian’s gum falls out of her mouth, David puts it in his mouth.

3. Gillian spitting food in his hand and David not being grossed out by it.

3. David pulling on the hem of Gillian’s shirt to pull her closer so he can sign it. Neither thinks twice about it, despite the level of intimacy being unusual.

4. David biting on her shirt.

5. David going quiet and making shit awkward after joking about her saying she kept saying she’d point at random men and say, “I’m going to marry that man.” Same occasion two minutes before, Gillian asking how David knew who mitch’s wife was (it was her stunt double). It felt accusatory.

6. The chili’s story where she has to explain she means Mulder and Scully had sex at Chili’s and not them.

7. Then holding hands under the table at comic con in 2013.

And there’s a lot of stories either I forgot or don’t know, I’m still finding out new things.

I know this theory destroys their perspective of DDGA and it ruins them for some fans, but it’s just a theory. Like I said, I’m not saying it’s the truth. I’m saying it would explain a shit ton about the ebbs and flows of their relationship and why they’re so inconsistent and reactive to being asked about each other for just about three decades. Why aren’t they bored of the question by now and answer it without this big to do?

I don’t know if David stans believe he is/was a cheater, but Gillian stans swear he is until you mention he could’ve cheated with Gillian. All of the sudden, he’s faithful and committed. 😒

I can admit that I might be wrong because I don’t know them. Only they know what goes on in their relationship. But if you had friends acting like they do, you’d think they were fucking or wanted to even when they insist otherwise.

To tour last question: OF COURSE David is captivated by Gillian. Gillian is attractive, funny, and flirty. They seem to have similar senses of humors at times as well. She’s silly too. I can totally see David being taken in by her because we see that now.

He’s more of the straight man to her zaniness, but he finds her zaniness endearing.

EDIT: please feel free to add any normal colleague behavior between David and Gillian over the years. 👀

[basketballandtextbooks]

Bat how do you feel after watching the special

There are multiple levels to my thoughts.

On a satire level, they bungled a lot of the information. They were trying to take an “all sides are stupid stance” on an issue where people are dying daily and there are actual medical reasons for one stance to be factually incorrect so taking an “all sides” stance is... fucking tone deaf. To be fair to them, I enjoyed the amount of meta that informed their episode about knowing that their episode was doing more harm than good and using Randy as a tool for that particular satire was a smart and effective mood. That said, it was a mixed message that promoted a lot of misinformation. While the meta parts were funny, lamp-shading how poor your satire is doesn’t actually make your satire good. It just means you’re lamp-shading the issue. It was disappointing because I had hoped for better as they frequently write good satire. Stan’s character journey was the only cohesive one throughout the episode and while it was a good one, there was so much of the episode that was tone deaf to the severity of this issue. While I think it’s valid to bring levity to the issue and I was hoping they would, they missed the mark by a long-shot. That said, they usually don’t do well with medical issues. The last time they bungled their satire this badly was the vaccination episode. And they infamously bungle literally every trans-related episode. There were aspects of the episode that were poignant, well thought out, and well executed, but the majority was an under-researched in-cohesive mess. Which to some extent I think that’s what they were aiming for because they view the pandemic as an in-cohesive mess. The issue is that one of the reasons that pandemic is such a pervasive issue (especially in the states) is the mass spread of misinformation so when they spread misinformation to criticize the spread of misinformation... it’s just stupid.

However on a character level I very much enjoyed the episode. It was yet another Randy focused episode and as I’ve expressed on a few occasions I just don’t find him funny. Oh no, he jizzed on the weed, that’s sooooo surprising. Honestly Randy is a very one-note character. He does something horrifying, people are horrified, he faces no consequences, rinse, repeat. That all established, I think it’s important character information that he cheated on Sharon twice in China with no guilt whatsoever. He only wanted to hide his crime because “my wife is a bitch”. Also considering he cheated with non-human entities, I think this is strong proof of Rowelie’s viability so take that as you will Rowelie shippers. Also the fact that people grow Randy mustache’s if they ingest his cum and Sharon had a mustache at the end... I sort of hate that Randy took that as proof that she smoked his weed. Now, even if she had smoked it his behavior still is completely and disgustingly inexcusable but also... everyone in South Park is openly smoking so she could have very easily gotten second hand Randy-stache. Or just given her husband a blow job. Also it’s interesting information that within universe Randy’s cum has mutagenic properties. Again for the Rowelie shippers: you could use this as an excuse as to how Towelie turns into a human, Randy’s cum mutated him. Also I think it’s likely that microwaving his balls could be what caused his radioactive jizz. Or one of the times he was experimented on by aliens. Or both. Altogether Randy was a repulsive bastard within the episode who I find boring at best BUT the amount of meta information that he introduced will be very useful to inform my theories. (Also again, the fact that he so easily and guilelessly cheats on Sharon tells me that he that he has done it a multitude of times. My theory is that after he gave Gerald a handy in the hot-tub and was forgiven he just never stopped, basically assuming the permission to do it once was broad permission to do it forever) (oh and second note: this is the second time within canon that Randy has poisoned people’s weed so uh... that’s fucked up)

Freaked out a lot about Jimbo dying, I’m really scared they’ll kill Jimbo but also since they already killed Ned I wonder if the two of them can be happy in the afterlife together because no one can convince me that Jimbo and Ned aren’t canon. Also Randy’s blatant racism and lack of empathy for Jimbo’s illness was really yikes. I dunno guys, I’ve always had a soft spot for Jimbo. He’s a stupid stereotypical red-neck but he had a sort of charm to him and I thought he was funny. I miss when him and Ned were regulars on the show.

CARTMAN DANCING AND SINGING WAS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER ON THIS FUCKING EARTH, FIGHT ME I LOVE THIS STUPID SELFISH LITTLE CRETIN also it’s yet another episode to add to the list of “times Cartman shows he can grow into a better person” and list of “times Cartman seems to show a special soft spot for Stan”. Cartman does tend to listen more frequently when Stan asks and less frequently for literally anyone else. So the Stanman was strong in this one. Also really enjoyed the Stutters. While yes, Stan was completely using Butters as a tool to project his own feelings of unease I think it really says something that he chose Butters for that role. I think to some extent he felt that Butters might be feeling the same mortality-panic he was feeling (whether it was true or not) and that kinship he felt with Butters led him to feel that Butters was also feeling the way he did. He was panicked and he thought out of all his friends that Butters was the one who might share his feelings. I enjoy that sort of subtle connection between them and it’s been a consistent thread within the show that Butters and Stan just treat each other a little different than they do literally everyone else. It’s worth thinking about.

I think Stan was also at his limit because he was already suffering from isolation issues due to Tegridy Farms from before the pandemic. He’s always been a social boy and this brought him to the brink of what he could handle.

THEY SHOT TOKEN AND I SWEAR TO GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LOUD I WAS SCREAMING AT THE TV I THINK I PISSED OFF MY NEIGHBORS i fucking knew it was coming too. The fucking SECOND they shoved those fucking corrupt ass cops in the same room as Token.... I fucking feared for his life. They’ve killed off fairly major background characters before and killing Token would be... topical. I will make it my mission to personally destroy every fucking cop in South Park (Barbrady gets a pass... BARELY). I hate them all. I’ve hated them all for a long time but they murdered several children (including Kenny, the bastards) and they SHOT MY BOY TOKEN I WILL RIP OFF THEIR FUCKING ARMS SEE HOW WELL YOU CAN SHOOT THEN YOU TRASH BASTARDS

Nothing big Kenny happened this episode, insert sad fanboy noises

There were some strong Kyman moments. Cartman went to Kyle’s house for help at the beginning of the episode, obsessed over whether or not he’d be in the same room as Kyle, tried to vomit on Kyle, AND THEN KYLE FUCKING JUMPED HIM AND BEAT HIS ASS DOWN, FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO INCORRECTLY THINK DIFFERENT KYLE IS A FUCKING DOMINANT TOP, HE DOESN’T TAKE IT, HE GIVES IT

Adding that to my long list of “episodes where Kyle shows he isn’t a pushover, is very violent, and can easily kick Cartman’s bitch ass” because every so once in awhile I have to break out that list when someone insists upon how submissive Kyle is. Bitttttttccchhhhhh, you haven’t watched the show if you think that. My favorite kid doesn’t take your shit

Very interested in Red’s new canon last name (McArthur) but I’m also unsure about it because in the scene’s where it’s shown I couldn’t quite tell if it was actually Red or Powder. She kept being shown from odd angles and her hair looked a little shorter than normal. That said, I’m happy if it is her because I’ve been wanting a canon last name for Red for a long-ass time. Even presuming you go by the cousin’s headcanon for Craig and Red, there’s no guarantee they would have the same last name.

Let’s see, I think I had some other thoughts but those were the main points

OH PAUSE THE SCREEN WHEN THE PARENTS ARE ON ZOOM it’s really cute/funny what the usernames are. For example Annie’s mom is totally just using Annie’s account so she’s probably not very tech savvy. There’s actually a lot of minor character detail that you can infer from those screen-names.

Yeah those are my major thoughts: Randy is trash, nothing new, Cartman was ADORABLE and also lots of good meta for him (I have some hcs that one of the reasons he adored the social distancing so much isn’t because he hates human contact because we know from previous seasons that he’s a bit of a lonely boy, but he likes the social distancing explicitly because it gives him an excuse to reject other people before they can reject him), good stutters moments, good kyman moments, good stanman moments, there were some style moments if you squint? Kyle was one of the people Stan consulted about his feelings of unease but since it wasn’t just Kyle that he consulted it didn’t really feel like that was a special personal part of their relationship, moreso that he wanted Kyle to kiss his booboo and make it better. Although further proof that Kyle is the dom in that relationship. Kyle was agitated over the situation but overall rational, Stan was flipping the fuck out. Stan came to him submissive, scared, and asking for Kyle to make him feel better. Kyle remained calm and logical. I swear to god if I read one more cutesy-innocent Kyle post I might flip a table. Literally Kyle’s canonical self is RIGHT THERE

OH YEAH MY BUTTERS THOUGHTS there’s nothing really new here but it continues the trend of Butters being a self centered prick. (I love him but he is) Instead of even trying to understand the number of people dying or the gravity of the situation, he’s just upset and throwing tantrums because he doesn’t get to play at Build a Bear. And it’s made explicit in the writing that unlike Stan he isn’t struggling with the nebulous fear of death (probably brought on by his uncle getting sick). Butters is just bitter that he doesn’t get to have special things. Also Stan was the only one who tried even a little to save Butters from getting taken by the guards. No one else tried to stop or warn Butters. So again, very cute Stutters moment where Stan is overtly worried for Butters’ well-being even when he’s throwing a bratty tantrum. (I don’t know how anyone perceives Butters as an altruistic person, he’s a selfish twat. he’s a lovable selfish twat, like Cartman, but he’s still a selfish twat. and none of his shitty behavior in this episode was even remotely related to Cartman so you can’t connect it to him. Butters, on his own and without anyone else’s influence, does and acts like a shit-head). There is the excuse that he’s only ten but literally everyone in that cafeteria is only ten. But Butters is the only one kicking other people’s food because he didn’t get his special prize.

This all sounds like I hate Butters. I love Butters, warts and all, I just get really annoyed when fandom ignores his warts because his warts are PART OF THE REASON I LOVE BUTTERS. Also it’s like... blatantly and observably canon that he’s selfish.

I’m going to happily ruminate on Stan feeling a strong pang of protectiveness towards Butters though. That was quite illuminating.

[doberbutts]

Okay so not dog related but I need to rant. Those that know me know I have two older sisters and only really get along with one of them.

My oldest sister and I have the best relationship, but we are the farthest apart in age. She is 18 years older than me and has always occupied a weird in-between area of “sibling” and “adult female relative aka aunt”, as she was out of the house, married, and in the Navy when I was born.

The middle child of the family, my other older sister, is 4.5 years older than me and we have never gotten along. From the time we were both old enough to make decisions about who we befriended, we have never really been able to be friendly or even civil with each other. As we aged our fights grew more physical and more explosive until it was a matter of us taking turns sitting on the other and beating the shit out of them. There were a few instances where the police had to be called and a decision had to be made on whether fights between siblings counted as domestic abuse or deserved jailtime.

Even though I’m away from my blood family nowadays and deliberately limit their access of my life, I still get reminded on occasion why I specifically go out of my way to avoid one of my sisters, despite me loving and adoring the kids she’s brought into the world.

My oldest sister called me the other day, wanting nothing more than conversation and pleasantries, and we had a very long discussion about our separate lives. I’d heard that she and my other sister had had a large blow up fight over something from our parents, and when I asked her about it I discovered something.

I cut our middle sister out of my life with the exception of occasionally seeing her during a family get-together or her being in the room when I’m talking on the phone with my mother, and in doing so, removed her favorite target from her clutches. She’d always been jealous of me for whatever reason, and I never understood why (still don’t), because to me it’s all grade school nonsense. She would always call me ugly, while lamenting that she didn’t have my eyes or face shape. She would call me fat, while lamenting that I have always been several sizes smaller than her and seem to be able to eat whatever I want without gaining weight. She made fun of my clothing choices, while saying she wished she had the body to pull off skinny jeans and a tighter fitting shirt. Whenever she wanted to be derogatory regarding my appearance, she’d focus on the fact that I turned out visibly “more black” than she did (darker skin, 3c hair, big nose and lips, wideset hips, broad shoulders, etc) but then if asked about her heritage she would complain that she only looked “mixed” instead of “truly black”. My hobbies were never good enough for her because they were never “girly” things, but she would complain that she was never “allowed” to do boyish things which I know for a fact is a straight lie. If my hobbies did include “girly” things such as sewing, ballet, etc she would make snide remarks on how she was glad I was acting like a girl for once, while complaining that she wasn’t very good at doing those things either.

No matter what I did, it was never good enough for her, and she always had some comment to provoke a fight. She would threaten my animals, she made a game once of swinging my rats by their tails at the wall, she deliberately smashed my videogames and dvds. I have scars from her fights and a memory of the night I went through the window during one epic blow-up. She had picked up my hamster cage with my hamster inside and thrown it against the ground. She would tell me all the time that she hated me and wished I’d never been born so she could be the only child- something that would hurt both myself and our oldest sister who was adopted. I ended up telling her on the day of her wedding that I didn’t love her and that if I had any say in it, I’d never want anything to do with her because she is an abusive bully, and she’d be lucky if she didn’t chase her new husband away before long because of her awful behavior- because she was baiting me to have a fight over the fact that she was getting married first (note: I was 17) and that she found love while I'll be miserable and alone forever since I'm a freak.

So when I moved, I completely stopped interacting with her. I don’t text. I don’t call. I refuse to add her on facebook which she is very upset by. She lost her favorite target when I left and, I thought, maybe she’ll be happier now that I basically pretend I’m not part of the family anymore.

Except that’s not how it went, and she started focusing on our oldest sister instead. Except our oldest sister has far less tolerance for her bullshit than I do thanks to being significantly older than either of us, and called her to the carpet for it pretty much immediately. Our parents, like they did when it was just the two of us, pretty much swept it under the rug and let her do just about whatever she wants with zero consequences, and now they have the issue of having 3 kids who positively will not get along in an enclosed space during whatever family holiday we all end up spending together- considering the last several holidays I’ve been missing for this exact reason and now my oldest sister will also be missing because it means the middle sister will be there. And, again, my oldest sister thought perhaps she’ll be happier now, because she’s effectively become an only child.

Except she’s not- now she goes after her husband the same way. My sisters are neighbors, their houses share a wall, and my oldest nephew (20yrs!) has reported several instances where he can hear the babies crying and my sister screaming and swearing at her husband about something with a lot of other... violent noises like crashes and thumping. Her husband is silent through it all- he just takes it until she's done and then leaves the house for a bit. My nephew’s been advised to call the police if he continues to hear it, because we are all pretty sure that either she has become physically abusive towards her husband or she’s baiting him to hit her so that she can have some new sob story to blare on social media after she got called out for faking a miscarriage before she started having kids. We do know for a fact that she trapped him into staying with the kids- he was talking about a divorce and then a month later she's pregnant. He starts talking about divorce again, she mentions she wants another baby, he says absolutely not because he wants out... she's pregnant a few months later.

I just... don't understand it. I'm sure she's got some sort of mental illness thing going on- I know she was on pills for something and therapy and whatnot, but I deliberately don't interact with her so I have no idea. Schizophrenia does run in our family- our aunt is on and off her meds and is very violent and destructive when "off", our dad has shown similar signs as my aunt (his sister) plus dementia but is being stubborn and refusing to be seen for it, so I wouldn't be surprised if she and I both had some things we need to sort out in that department. But I just don't understand why she's a hateful little shit that seems bent on driving away anyone who could possibly care about her. She's always felt the need to be the best daughter and will tear anyone in her way down to hide her flaws and showcase her talents. She's a spoiled brat that my parents refuse to rein in or do anything about- even when the police and social worker were serious about potentially hauling her off to jail after I needed 40 STITCHES BECAUSE I WAS HURLED THROUGH A WINDOW my parents manipulated the situation until they could get charges completely dropped.

I just do not understand why someone would intentionally be such a hateful shit to anyone who showed them any amount of love whatsoever. And I just- I feel like people talk a lot about abuse from parents or spouses, but never about the shit that siblings do to each other, or just say that's how siblings are and excuse the hell out of it. She's just out of control.

[virmillion]

Some Kind of Magical - Chapter 2

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3 / Masterpost / ao3

Warnings: Past violence, let me know if you have any more

Words: 4449

    Patton splits off from the other three, carefully using the warmth of their words to build a barrier around his heart. No telling how strong it’ll need to be tonight, but he can obliterate that bridge when he gets there—his dad isn’t supposed to be home quite yet. Picking up the pace, Patton pushes his black and blue glasses higher up his nose, trying to quell the rising terror that always accompanies his walks home.

    The number of wild animals crawling out of bushes to greet him is less than reassuring—at this rate, they’ll follow him all the way back and his dad will use them as target practice. Patton shoes them off with handfuls of dried fruits from his bag, regaining his solitude by the time he reaches the front door. Thankfully, the house appears quiet, an unheard of occasion as of late. It’s a rare day when he isn’t greeted by furious yelling or pointedly aggravated silence—if Patton didn’t know better, he’d swear there was some sadistic being testing his resolve in striving toward pacifism.

    “Please be okay, please be okay, please dear Cethyphyirr be okay,” Patton chants to himself, tripping up the stairs on his untied shoelaces. He ignores the gaping frame where his bedroom door had been just that morning and drops his bag to the floor, fooling himself into thinking it would be enough of a barrier to protect him. Without so much as a glance at the sea of garbage and mess at his feet, Patton wades through the clearest path to his closet door—still attached, praise Ceth. Shoving the shelves and weapons to the side, he removes the poster blocking a shallow hole in the wall to reveal a little cove of various babbling critters.

   Tarasques and shedus and jorogumos alike peer out at Patton, each a different age and each recovering from some injury or another. Patton unrolls a cloth bandage, tearing it in the middle with his teeth and turning to the turtle-like tarasque. He patches up a hole in the shell, using his other hand to scoot aside the baying freybug that’s ventured out of the hole. The jorogumo skitters up his arm with several hairy legs, the face-like markings on its back seeming to wink at him.

   “You guys are lucky this cavity came with a size charm, you know that?” Patton sighs, watching his hand shrink each time it enters the gap to escort out another animal. The shedu’s tail puffs up, consuming a majority of the opening and growing into the space. It blocks Patton’s access to the other creatures until he can nudge the creature back to shrink down again. “Yes, Dad, absolutely I should go into Resolute,” he mutters. “Certainly, my one true calling is taking up arms against the creatures that I want nothing more than to protect. How ever do you do it, figuring out exactly what’s best for me? Even teaching me to solve my problems with my fists, to the point that my friends already know they have to restrain me.” Patton grits his teeth, clenching his hands into fists as his jaw begins to ache. He only stops at the whimpering of the freybug, which backs toward the nest with a wary focus on him. Slowly, his fists relax. “Really, Dad, you truly are a wonder to behold. One to rival the Ejnathryk itself.”

   “Patton Thyrrdyn!” A furious voice bellows from downstairs. Patton holds back a groan, quickly and methodically replacing the poster behind the weapons and shelves. The last creatures vanish just in time, as the name is repeated louder and closer than before.

   “Hey, Dad,” Patton says, descending the stairs to look at the man in the front entryway. “What can I do ya for?” He feels his pulse quicken for the ever-present dread that his dad might find the hidden creatures, but this rage doesn’t look like that of a betrayed father.

    “Care to explain why there’s dirt tracked in here?” The panic recedes, leaving only a slight irritation at such a loud yell for such a trivial complaint.

    “Guess I didn’t notice. Sorry.” Patton turns to head upstairs, to escape before the discussion inevitably turns to TryMyts, but nothing can ever be quite so simple.

    “Did they discuss Trytsu selection today?” The edge in his voice alone is enough to make Patton hesitate. “Don’t worry. I know you’ll pick the right one.” He pauses briefly, watching Patton back away with a nod. “I only want what’s best for you, kiddo. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

    “I know.”

    “So, any ideas for dinner?” A stab at conversation, and a poor one at that.

    “No, but Logan, Roman, and Virgil are supposed to come over later. We were gonna try to get started on planning our TryMyts projects.”

    “Who?” A hollow sigh takes up residence in Patton’s chest, begging to be released in a show of sheer aggravation. His dad has met all three of them several times over, and this is just an act to prolong the dying conversation. This information is the only thing keeping Patton from melting down into a stereotypical heap of groaning teen annoyance.

    “Logan Thylktor, Roman Thyrrak, and Virgil Thriyv. We’ve been to each other’s houses a bunch of times, and you even met Virgil’s mom at orientation for senior year TryMyts stuff, remember?”

    An ugly frown toys with his dad’s mouth. “The adoptive parents that don’t understand their place. Yeah, I remember those two.” It would be so easy for Patton to remark on his own mom’s absence, or how ridiculous it is to be upset that two people would willingly take in someone not related by blood, or how well-functioning the Thriyv household is, but he doesn’t. With thinly pressed lips and a slight dip of his chin, Patton retreats the rest of the way upstairs.

    In his room again, he could easily get a head start on his project, or even on putting a dent in the mess on his floor, but that would be too easy. Instead, he lifts the lid from a glass box of miniature trees and grass, hidden in an unmarked crate beneath a heat lamp in his closet. After a moment, something small and green glides from one of the branches, its mottled red tail streaking behind. Patton allows that same wistful smile to cross his face, twin to the one that always appears when his healing creatures test out their reparations—rehabilitations, as it were. The amphiptere, a little winged serpent, finally comes to a rest at Patton again, concluding its tour of his room by wrapping its tail around his finger. The other hand, resting on the floor at his side, promptly stings with the dull pain of a bite.

    “Hey,” he scolds softly, looking at the little beaked basilisk peeking out from his pile of clothes. In Patton’s defense, sometimes the mess is convenient. The reddish brown scales glow as it makes a muted guttural sound, its eyes barely cracked open. Damaged neurotoxin gland, a difficult fic to be sure, but that doesn’t mean Patton isn’t trying. The eyes, having long since recognized Patton as a protector, rather than a captor, avoid his gaze. Paralyzing its closest acquaintance probably isn’t the best course of action. Patton idly observes the progress of each of his creatures, whiling the time away until his friends can get over and ensure that his dad won’t barge in.

    “Patton? Those Loman and Rogan kids you were talking about are here.”

    He doesn’t bother to correct the names—the flub was probably intentional, anyway. Aimed at getting a rise out of Patton, prompting a reaction, proving he didn’t raise a broken boy that would never belong in Resolute. That what everything’s always been about, is trying to force Patton to stretch the extra three inches to fit in a six-foot mold. “Send them up, please.”

    Of their own volition, the creatures return to their tanks and crates and corners, hiding from the people they don’t know well enough to trust. Only Patton is allowed to be graced with their presence, exclusively due to his persistence in trying to help them.

    “Wish they’d stay out so I could meet them,” Roman comments on his way in, watching the speckled tip of the amphiptere’s tail vanish into the closet.

    “Yeah, well.” Patton shrugs, nudging the door shut with his foot and clearing a path through the rubble of clothes on his floor. “Do we want to wait for Virgil?” Rather than answer, Logan drops his weight in papers to the ground, leaving Roman to carry the conversation on his own. Patton’s eyes track the motions of a few flyaway papers, floating gently like fallen butterflies.

    “His mom said he didn’t come home this afternoon, and his mother was busy with a meeting, so his mom said he might stop by later, thanks for our time, but she really should be getting back to her notes.” Mid-sentence, Roman’s voice shifts up an octave in a remarkable imitation of Virgil’s mom. At least, as remarkable as the imitation of an adult woman can be, given that the imitator is a teenage boy.

    “So basically, we’re on our own without the sarcastically comedic comments?”

    “More or less.” Roman joins Patton and Logan on the floor, bringing his comparably meager supply of books with him. With one last sigh, Patton braces himself for the onslaught of work they have ahead of them. By the time a shadow falls over the small window on the far wall, he’s long since stopped paying attention to the outside world. He blinks, trying to force his hazel eyes to focus on what’s in front of him, to make sense of the endless lists and bullet points.

    “What about this? A battle for glory in a ring of deadly creatures, lit by Cethyphyirr to symbolize your creation of a new existence into the world of an official Trytsu?” A decent suggestion from Logan, which lies in direct conflict with the neat scrawling on the paper he holds up—schematics for a Rehabilitate project. Patton squints at the paper, trying to comprehend Logan’s cramped handwriting—despite his penchant for artistic pursuits, he could certainly stand to improve his legibility. Although the situation might be less than ideal, it’s not the worst idea to circumvent Patton’s dad’s refusal to accept a non-Resolute Trytsu.

    As Logan repeats himself for Roman to scribble the battle idea onto his notepad, Patton copies the written plan down in his own pages. “Hasn’t the whole ‘glory of Cethyphyirr’ thing been done before?” Roman pokes his cheek with an eraser, sticking his tongue out. “Not very original of a TryMyts, no offense.”

    “First off, nothing is original,” Logan says, ticking off the reasons on his fingers. “Second, even if it’s been done, it hasn’t been done by you, which is what would make it stand out. Third, the point of TryMyts is not to be original.” He unfurls his remaining two fingers to gesture with his entire hand at Roman. “Every student might well do the same project, provided the result is worthy of finding a place in their Trytsu, be it that of their parents or a new one. Yours doesn’t have to be special. It just has to be effective.”

    “But originality is what makes people stand out! What would you say if someone told you your work was boring, or had been done before?”

    “In all likelihood, I would embrace the challenge of outdoing a previous accomplishment, though that should hardly be any of your concern.” The sparkle in Logan’s eyes sends a jolt through Patton’s spine, an inevitable debate waiting to ignite. “Suppose, Roman, that you were to do something entirely original. How, precisely, might you intend to pass off such a thing to your parents, if you don’t have the perfect grades to back it up? They will assume you won’t succeed if you haven’t succeeded already. Better yet, if there’s never been a safe trial run of your supposedly ‘original’ TryMyts before, how can you guarantee Pib’s safety when you attempt it?”

    Patton is already on his feet and scurrying out of the room before Roman can come up with a retort, letting Logan’s triumphant debate-mode voice fade behind him. He makes up some excuse about getting snacks, the argument rapidly escalating and drowning out his mumbles. Of course, he already knows there’s no extra food lying around the house, but that’s beside the point. Even some ice to let melt on his tongue would be enough, just something to drown out his racing thoughts over Virgil’s absence. Suffice it to say, Patton was less than thrilled to hear about Virgil not making it home, even more so that he didn’t make it to the study session. He just needs a good distraction, is all.

    Take an injured rabbit for example, on its side mere feet beyond the front door. Patton jumps down the last few stairs, ready to sprint outside and help—until his rescue is interrupted.

    “Hey, kiddo, how’s it goin’?” Eyeing the suspiciously pink glow on his dad’s face, Patton shrugs noncommittally, desperate to keep his gaze off the rabbit. “How can you not know? Any project breakthroughs? Any of your little friends planning to betray their heritage and change Trytsun?”

    “I don’t know, no, I don’t know, gotta go,” Patton says, bouncing between his feet and trying to squeeze past his dad. No dice, as the man has him trapped between the railings at the landing of the stairs.

    “What about that Thriyv kid? Did his parents decide to keep their faux-altruistic ways out of other people’s lives for once?”

    “I really don’t know. He might be over later, but I’m not sure.” For a split second, Patton lets his eyes dart to the door, where the rabbit remains. A pair of eyes gleams back at him in the darkness.

    “Hey, hey, eyes on me, kiddo. Right here.” His dad grabs his shoulder, forcing his attention to snap back. “I just want what’s best for you, you know?”

    “I know.” Ignoring the desire to remark on the peculiar way of showing affection, Patton finally slips under the arm braced against the wall. The eyes outside are closer than before. A dish of water, that’s all he needs, just a few seconds to get to the rabbit and get it hydrated and get it upstairs to safety. An ideal plan, simple enough in its success, if the faucet weren’t so slow, if all the dishes weren’t dirty, if his dad had moved sooner, if the rabbit were still warm. With his dad having disappeared to do Ceth knows what, Patton sinks to his knees beyond the door. The eyes have vanished, leaving only the vague sense of being watched as he carefully cradles the rabbit’s hind leg, snapped beyond a point of reason.

    “I’ll help you, promise,” he murmurs, doing his best not to jostle the poor thing as he takes it to his room. Roman and Logan appear completely unsurprised as he sets about wrapping the rabbit’s leg and dribbling water into its mouth with a straw. The other two carry on with their discussion of possible TryMyts ideas, a relaxing backdrop of sound as he works. For however little it’s worth, the rabbit’s eyes slowly brighten, its body heat returning over the course of far too many minutes.

    “Patton, I think we’re going to head out,” Logan says, jolting him from his concentration. “Our parents will be expecting us soon, and we don’t want to impose.”

    “No problem,” Patton replies, barely taking his eyes off the twitching rabbit. “See you tomorrow.”

    “Tomorrow,” Roman agrees, offering a wave as he follows Logan out through where a door should be and down the stairs. Patton waits for the click of the closing front door, counting the moments that follow. After seven seconds, the inevitable complaints present themselves.

    “Why did they have to stay so long?”

    “Don’t know.”

    “What are you doing?”

    “Homework.”

    “What?”

    “Homework!” An edge of aggravation laces through Patton’s voice. This whole charade is as ridiculous and unnecessary as ever.

    “Okay!” A twin spear of irritation lingers with his father’s response.

    “If you need me to be louder, don’t go off at me for complying,” Patton mutters to himself, wishing he could slam the door shut. Of course, it doesn’t exist anymore, probably burned to high Ceth by now, in the name of his dad’s twisted ideas of what being in Resolute truly means. As the echo of a pitiful excuse for conversation fades, the annoyance on both ends slowly dissipates, the chasm of a closet remaining silent. With a careful parting of the obstacles, Patton places a finger into the charmed gap, watching his fingernail shrink down. The sudden visibility reveals all of his little friends curled up on top of one another, happily dozing away. To the quiet hum of the heat lamp’s whirring, the amphiptere huffs hot air out to match the warmth on its back.

    Patton replaces the mess he’d sifted through earlier to disguise his creatures from sight, pleased at how well the posters and boxes blend in with the whirlwind of clothes and papers and projects. There, on the floor of his closet and slumped against the door, is how the morning sun finds him, an obnoxious beam on his crusted shut eyes. It takes a few slow, exhausted blinks for Patton to gather his bearings, before he jumps to his feet.

    Mutterings of “gonna be late” and “crap crap crap” and “Ceth please lend me your speed” chase Patton around his room as he tugs on the first pair of shoes he can find. The clothes from yesterday will have to do, Patton decides, shouldering his open bag and running out the front door. Granted, the stolen bedroom door is a nuisance as well as an invasion of privacy, but it certainly allows for a conveniently fast exit. Down the sidewalk and onto the pavement, the pale sun overhead offers the smallest modicum of warmth for his shivering arms, coated in goosebumps. Twin birds flock behind him, cawing anxiously for their usual morning treats. Patton obliges, scattering a handful of raisins on the ground behind him as he sprints for the school. The last dregs of students filing into the building that rapidly crowns his horizon forces his legs to beat faster, his heart rate pulsing through every last nerve ending.

    “Ceth, please, just a little faster,” Patton heaves, flinging his body into the building with reckless abandon. He collapses into his usual seat in his classroom—thankfully near the front door—and lets his head loll back as the teacher closes the door behind him.

    “Late start, Thyrrdyn?”

    “You could say that.” He lets himself laugh with the other kids, certain the bright pink burn of exertion is spreading rapidly across his face.

    “Well, you sat down before I could shut the door, so I suppose I’ll let it slide. This time.” The telltale wry grin Patton sees toying with the teacher’s lips is enough to know he’s off the hook, with no bad blood to show for it. As the attention of the class reluctantly drifts back to the front of the room, turning minds toward pretending to learn, Patton tunes it out. He can get it all from Logan or Virgil later, rather than strain his willpower to be engaged now. More important of an issue is considering whether his room and reputation are safe, should his dad decide to snoop around while he’s gone.

    The poster was definitely blocking the size-charmed nook, and he almost certainly knocked over the shelves and weapons in his rush to get out. At the very least, the mess should deter any would-be paternal inspectors of that odd spiderweb crack in the wall. There has to be something more, something else he’s forgetting, or he wouldn’t have this lingering sense of dread that something’s missing. Once more through the checklist, the heat lamp was on, the closet door was shut, the mess looked organic, everything important was contained behind closed doors, so everything should be fine.

    “The rabbit!” Patton hisses, rapping the side of his fist on his desk. He darts his eyes around furtively, thanking Ceth that no one seemed to notice his outburst, but one mercy doesn’t solve another. He was helping the rabbit, Logan and Roman left, the mini-interrogation with his dad, and he passed out on the floor. The rabbit was probably long gone by the time Patton woke up—with any luck, it had at least partially healed. With any luck, it would know to hide itself, or get out while it still could.

    With every moment that the teacher discusses whatever it is the class is supposed to care about, Patton feels his pulse pick up. If he could just run home, double check for any incriminating evidence, he could reassure himself and not have to fear his dad’s wrath. The bouncing of his eyes and the tapping of his feet aren’t exactly comforting ways to fidget, not to mention how they seem to agitate the teacher, but Patton can’t particularly find it in himself to care.

    “Patton Thyrrdyn, do you have something you would like to share with the class?” He jolts, eyes wide as they focus on the imposing adult.

    “Um, no, Myjhyrr. Sorry, I didn’t—Sorry.” Patton pulls his lips between his teeth, biting down until they tingle and the color drains away. Prodding the little teeth-shaped indents with his tongue, he smiles sheepishly at the teacher’s wary look. With a glare of warning, the teacher continues the lesson.

    Maybe he could leave at lunch and be back by the next class, if he just sprints a little faster than his lungs would like to allow—but no, no, that wouldn’t work. The higher ranking people in charge of the school started assigning teachers to block off the exits months ago. Patton is well and truly trapped, and there’s nothing he can do about it. If he could just get to the door—

    “Thyrrdyn! You know as well as I do that your record will tolerate very few further complications, and I don’t suppose you desire to toe that line. If you don’t want to repeat this year, I suggest you sit up, face forward, and pay attention.” It’s a bit difficult to discern what, exactly, is so pointed in the teacher’s words, but something in there makes Patton’s blood boil. The worst he’d ever done was give Than a much deserved nosebleed, and that’s hardly any of the teacher’s business to share in front of the whole class. As if they didn’t already know, didn’t already spread rumors to make him sound even worse, like he planned the attack instead of losing his grip on pacifism. At this rate, someone might well end up with a pencil stuck through their arm. Maybe a pen, just to spice things up from last time—which, in Patton’s defense, was an accident. It wasn’t his fault Than set his arm on Virgil’s homework after being asked repeatedly to stop. And besides, Than’s arm wasn’t the only casualty that day—Patton lost a perfectly good pencil.

    At the teacher’s withering glare, Patton lets his eyes fall to his paper, covered in unintelligible doodles and half-hearted notes. Might as well pretend to pay attention now, if only to perfect his acting for when he’ll have to feign innocence at home. No time like the present to start coming up with an alibi. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time Patton was forced to be dishonest, anyway. He doesn’t necessarily want to hurt anyone, but if the good of the many outweighs the good of himself, of course he’s going to pursue the former.

    By the time Patton reminds himself that yes, little white lies are okay in a few choice circumstances, the desks around him are empty, save for the kid asleep in the back corner. The teacher comes to a halt in front of Patton, an incessant clicking sound coming from beyond the desk. As the teacher begins to once more reprimand Patton for not paying attention, the clicking solidifies into the recognizable sound of a pen being shuttered and reopened far more rapidly than necessary.

    “Thyrrdyn—” click “—you—” click “—need—” click “—to learn—” click “—to pay—” click “—attention!” Click click click. “I’m going to have to write you up if this continues.”

    “Oh, no, there’s really no need for that,” Patton says, eyes trained on the infernal clicking pen. “Just an off day, you know?”

    Click click. “It better be. Go on to your next class, but one” click “—last thing.” Click click click. “You’re aiming to switch into Rehabilitate, yes?” Click click.

    “Yeah, but how did you—”

   “Not—” click “—important. What is important is that I have a very close connection to the TryMyts advisors, including Myjhyrr Ryhanthyrri. It would be a shame if he were to find out about your poor aptitude for a place in the Rehabilitate Trytsu.” Click click click click.

   “There’s really no need for that,” Patton repeats, wincing at his lack of more extensive protests. “I’ll do better, I swear, I just need to get the ball rolling on this year. Diving headfirst back into school and all, yeah?”

   With a heavy sigh, the teacher’s eyes fly to the ceiling. The conversation needs to end soon, if Patton is to get to his next class on time, and they both know it. By some miracle, the clicking stops. His head hurts. “Look, Thyrrdyn, I just need you to pull your act together, alright? I’ve heard great things about you from other teachers, past violence excluded, and ideally I’d hoped you would keep it up for this final year. I don’t want to have to be the one to hold you back and make you redo your TryMyts, but I will, if that’s what it takes. Get it?”

   “Yep.” Patton is already sidling toward the door halfway through the teacher’s hypocritical lecture, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “I will absolutely work on that in—whoops, sorry!” He dodges a student shoving their way into the room, half-wishing he could take back the apology when he realizes it’s just Than. No, nope, none of that, clean record in front of this teacher from here on out. Patton is nice and friendly and pacifistic and will act accordingly.

   “Don’t disappoint me, Thyrrdyn.” The teacher sighs as Patton darts into the hall, out of earshot before the ominous warning can reach him.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3 / Masterpost / ao3

[why-idont-blog]

I did what I did best, I ran

C.B- Soulmate AU

So in this universe, everyone has two different colored eyes. One is their original eye color and the other is their soulmate's. When you first lock eyes with your soulmate they turn back into their original color.

It was a rainy day in the middle of fall. My eyes were struggling to keep open as I walked the gray streets of Los Angeles waiting for my school to pop up in view.

The day started like any other. When I arrived I sat next to my group of friends and we talked about simple things that happened to us this weekend. I looked at Ashley who was looking as bright as a sunflower. Maybe it was the new highlighter she used or the almond creme latte was doing her wonders. We were best friends since kindergarten. We were also the only ones without soulmates in the group.

Serena, she was like any other high school girl. She was into cheerleading, and maybe on some occasions, you would catch her with her soulmate Brad, making out on a locker. But mostly she was subtle, liked talking about exterior decorating and gardening. She was also caring and positive most of the time. Her platinum blonde hair and brown eyes were quite hard to miss in a crowd so she was the "nice popular girl".

My other friend Veronica... Well, she found her soulmate too. It was this quiet emo kid named Luke but no one really knew him. She loved talking about him however, he seemed like a nice person just shy and anxious I guess. Her personality was a little edgy, she talked back to teachers, dressed against the dress code so many times no one bothers her anymore... She met Luke just 2 weeks ago. Before her eyes were a chocolate brown and baby blue. Now her black hair mostly covers her blue eyes but she likes her voice being heard.

And then there is me... I haven't met my soulmate yet, and it surprises me how many people are upset because of that. I mean, you found your soulmate? That's great bro! Oh, you haven't yet? You still have the rest of your life to do so. I think it's flat-out stupid to go "soulmate-hunting" at 19 when there are so many great opportunities you'll be missing out on! Anyways! My (h/c) hair are always situated on the top of my head in a tight bun so basically, my eyes are always on display. One of them being (e/c) and the other being baby blue. I always liked sports. Basketball, swimming, athletics... If it had something to do with sports you can count me right in! I have a sportsman scholarship so I live by myself in an apartment not too far away. Which leads to me making my own decisions and... Walking to school. Until I pass my drivers test that is.

Today my stomach was erupting in thousands of butterflies while I was spinning a silver ring on my middle finger. The bell echoed from the inside of the school so I dropped my sports bag on the floor followed by my school backpack and me. I grabbed them both and headed inside Ashley coming up right behind me. I entered the code to my locker and stuffed my bag inside. When I slammed the locker shut it didn't want to lock again. So there I was making a fool of myself while slamming a locker with my fist.

My knuckles hurt but the bell rang and the thing still wasn't locking. When it finally did, however, my knuckles were bleeding and my fists were still balling with rage. I walked to the bathrooms to clean myself up. After stopping the bleeding and wiping the blood off I walked out. I took a look at my knuckles, they were all varieties of colors from blood red to dark blue. The soreness didn't hit me yet and I was thankful for that.

Just one hallway before my class a hand tapped my shoulder. I turned around to see a blonde boy scratching his neck and looking at the ground. "Hi, I'm Corbyn and me..."

The second we locked eyes his slowly turned back to baby blue while mine slipped back to (e/c). His mouth gaped open while I was just staring in shock.

"I'm Y/N." I managed to breathe out. "Corbyn... I guess I not only got a new school but also found my soulmate." He laughed at the end. I laughed with him but I was so caught up in the moment I just grabbed his hand and ran out.

We ran to this small coffee shop a little away from the school. We decided to ditch for the day and just talk. We laughed and learned so much about eachother. At the end of the day, we both drank two large hazelnut cappuccinos. As the waiter approached our table I was slowly taking my wallet out but Corbyn was too sly for me to even notice he pulled out a 20$ bill and told the waiter to keep the change. I gave him a 'seriously' look but he just smiles back at me. "We should head back to the school so your friends don't call the police." He laughs. I agree and in no time we're headed back to our school. I swear I don't know how but we ended up holding hands somewhere on the way.

The minute we walked into Ashley was running toward me but suddenly came to a halt. She just stared at me with this confused stare and I smiled at her. "Who are you, when did this happen, how did this happen, I'm telling your mother." She said in one breath.

Ashley and my new friend Jonah ended up really hitting it off and going to get coffee together. But for me? I just texted my mom I'm hanging out with my soulmate and muted my phone to annoy the shit out of her.

7 years later

I was panicking outside my bathroom. If this test comes out positive I might as well die. This isn't at all what we planned and I have my doubts about Corbyn's reaction. He could end up not being happy because of his carrier, but he could also be overwhelmed with the emotion.

I stuck my head inside the bathroom and saw two lines on both of the tests. God dammit! I wanted to punch a wall but there was nothing I could do the only thing I have to do now is tell Corbyn. I wanted to scream but I didn’t so the frustration came out as a few salty tears. My voice croaked even though I had nothing to say, my bare legs shivered against the cold bathroom tiles. Today wasn’t the best day to wear thin beach pants but I didn’t care. I didn’t even feel my legs the only thing I felt was my burning eyes. I didn’t feel like standing up and calling or texting Corbyn even though I knew I should’ve. In reality, what I did next would and will be frowned upon by so many people but in my head, I had no other choice. No other chance even. So I did what I did best, I ran upstairs to our bedroom and slid my old suitcase from under the bed. I started throwing things in without a second thought, my mind was racing as I threw in my clothing pieces. When I was done I knew I wasn’t supposed to do this but I did, I wrote Corbyn a letter letting him know what has happened. I told him not to search for me but I knew that he would. Not only was I robbing myself of love but I did the same to him, to be honest after what happened he would’ve given it all away anyways. I did what I did best, I ran.

I grabbed my suitcase and threw it in the back of my car. I quickly ran back inside to situate the letter on Corbyn’s pillow and grab the tests which I then threw in a garbage can 2 blocks away. Salty tears never left my eyes as I was driving to the familiar facility I knew as the airport. I gave my friend Serena a call letting her know what happened. Without a second thought, she let me stay with her and her fiance Brad. Brad was okay with it also, after high school he just kind of joined our group. And so as fast as you could say “baby” I was napping in an airport chair clutching a ticket to Florida in my left hand.

1 year and 5 months later

Y/N’s POV

I never thought I would be going back, but after 1 and a half year, he probably doesn’t even remember me anymore. He probably either found a girl without a soulmate that he loves now or maybe just a girl that gave up on hers. Either way he is definitely not waiting for me anymore.

Right now I was again on a plane to Los Angeles. Why? You may ask, Well after I bought myself an apartment in Florida and gave birth to my beautiful babies Y/D/N and Y/S/N I got back in shape. I started leaving my children at Serena and Brad’s place so they could practice parenting while I went to some local magazine shoots. And soon enough a bigger company noticed me. They immediately offered me the Los Angeles thing but I politely declined to which they placed me in New York for a year. But, after constant convincing of my manager, I finally decided to give Los Angeles a try. I mean come on, it’s been 1 year and a half. My children are almost a year old now, there is no way he is still waiting for me. I lifted Y/D/N and Y/S/N up in my arms and walked out of the plane. I walked over to the bags, where I took out the stroller and carefully placed them inside Y/S/N waking up slightly when I covered him with his blanket. I pulled mine and their suitcase behind while pushing the stroller with one hand. If you are asking yes I did order an Uber. The woman was very nice and actually helped me put the suitcases in the car. I didn’t have baby seats so the twins just kind of sat on my lap while I tried balancing them on my lap. She delivered us to my new house and helped me with the luggage again. I was honestly so thankful for her I gave her a tip of almost 50 dollars after she left.

The house was in a very rich neighborhood if it would be me who was buying a house this wouldn’t be the location but the agency got me this house so what can I expect? It was all already furnished so I took the babies upstairs to their room. I put them in their cribs which they gladly fell asleep again. After having a little trouble with Y/S/N I rocked him back to sleep. I left the room and started unpacking.

My agency soon called telling me they need me on set tomorrow. I wanted to tell them I had no babysitter but I knew they wouldn’t care. If Vogue needed a cover tomorrow they needed it TOMORROW. It left me thinking on the couch, who could I call to babysit the children? My mom? I know I left her a year ago so she wouldn’t make me go back to Corbyn but she was my best shot right now. I dialed the all to familiar number and waited for my mom to answer. “Hello?” my mom's voice echoed through the other side. “Hey mom...” my voice shook. “Y/N WHERE ARE YOU? I MISSED YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE DID!” “Okay, mom I need your help. Come to the address I’ll text you and tell NOONE.” “Sure honey, I’ll be right there.”

A shot of adrenaline pumped through my veins. I was about to see a person I loved dearly and left. I guess I lost track of time because the doorbell rang and shook me out of my thoughts.

I opened the door as two arms threw themselves around my neck while a familiar scent filled my nose. I hugged her back and felt my shoulder get wet from the salty substance I now knew too well. I looked her in the face smile never leaving her features. “Why did you leave?” she asked a frown forming. “I’ll show you,” I said and pointed upstairs where she followed me.

I pointed at the sleeping babies my heart melting when I looked at them. “YOU FOUND ANOTHER MAN?!” My mom yelled with no mercy. “No mom whose do you think they are?!” I glared at her before making sure they didn’t wake up. “Are they Corbyn’s?” She now asked gently. “No shit Sherlock.” I dramatically rolled my eyes. “You know he wouldn’t have left you.” She retorded scolding me a bit. “I don’t and you don’t either.” I looked back at her a look of unknown fury in my eyes. She sighed and closed her eyes. “Alright, why did you decide to contact me.” “I-I wondered if you had time tomorrow.” I blinked. “What are you suggesting.” She gave me a playful look. “I need someone to watch them,” I said and pointed at the nursery. “I’d love to.” my mom smiled. I smiled back and led her to the couch. “Look, mom, I don’t want to play bossy right now but I do have some rules.” “Hit me,”

Don’t tell anyone where you’re going.

EVEN if they try to persuade you with cookies you must decline.

If you think about telling anyone I’m moving back to where I was and none of you are seeing me again.

“Gotcha... Do you have any special food for the babies? Do they have any allergies?” She asked. “Y/S/N can only drink almond milk otherwise no. I’m going to the grocery store tonight so you’ll have the supplies ready.” I smiled. “Okay-” In that second her phone rang. She clicked on the icon of the message app and gave me an apologetic look after reading the message. “Sweetie, I have to go just call me tomorrow and I’ll be right here.” “Of course mom,” I gave her a hug before she left the house.

/Time skip to the evening because that’s when the interesting stuff happens/

I woke up my twins dressing them both in warmer clothing before sitting them down on the couch. I ran to the car where I positioned their seats correctly before sitting in the driver’s seat myself and driving off to the closest 24/7 Walmart. When I arrived I parked the car and sat the twins in the shopping cart. As I paced the baby related aisles I noticed a familiar head of brown hair but shrugged it off as another one of Los Angles residents... That’s until I heard the voice. “Zach give the watermelon back it’s mine!” “Try me, Seavey!” I froze dead in my tracks. What do I do?! Where do I hide?! The heavy footsteps are nearing every aisle they pace so I ran. I paced with my children in the cart. The footsteps didn’t stop but neither did I. And without looking back I almost hit someone. “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry I-” I didn’t get to finish when I looked up and saw the very familiar face of Jonah Marais which I called JoJo a long time ago. He was in shock and so was I, but I moved quicker I pulled the kids out of the cart and ran to the exit.

3rd person POV

The cart full of diapers and baby food was left in front of Jonah who was still looking at the running girl with wide eyes before finally moving. “OMG, Y/N WAIT!!!” he yelled before running after her. His friend’s yells and the familiar name caught the attention of the other guys especially the one with blonde hair. He immediately sprinted out of the aisle his curly haired friend behind him, and so they caught the final glimpse of the distressed young mother before she ran out of the store. Jonah wasn’t on her heels he was pretty far away, trying to get away from the slow grandmothers that were chatting with the cashier. He got to the parking lot the moment Y/N jumped into the driver’s seat and drove off. Jonah and all of the others felt confused, happy and kind of betrayed but Corbyn also felt broken hearted.

So with that being said he dropped the loaf of bread he was carrying and pulled his phone out of his pocket. The contact read “Mrs. Y/L/N” and Corbyn tapped that call button before one of them could take another breath. The slow rings drove every single one of them closer to freaking out and fleeing the scene but then her mother finally picked up.

“Yes how may I help you.” She answered even though she already knew the reason he was calling. “Since when is Y/N in LA?” He asked sternly, he knew Y/N told her mom and to make matters worse her response was “What do you mean?” with a slightly shaky voice no one but him heard. “I know she’s here, I saw her now please tell me where and how Mrs. Y/L/N!” He almost screamed, his heart was aching were they just going insane? Insane about the thought of their best friend and HIS soulmate leaving them? Did that girl run because a tall guy was following and screaming after her even though Jonah swore she looked identical to Y/n? “She is in LA but I have to go Corbyn I can’t tell you where.” The mother swore to keep the promise she gave her daughter and one boy isn’t going to break it. “No Mrs.Y/L/N you don’t understand! I- We missed her! It’s been almost 2 years I promise I wont do anything and you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt your daughter! I swore I’d never do that when I gave her that promise ring... I wanted to replace that promise ring with a goddamn wedding ring that same day she disappeared!” Tears were prickling his eyes as he recalled the memory. Her mother loudly sighed into the phone. The decision was hard, she either gave him his address which she knew would be better for the both of them, or she kept the promise and kept her girl happy. But was she happy? In that moment her mother realised that No. She wasn’t happy. She was just telling herself it’s better this way but it wasn’t! So she gave in. “Listen carefully, I’m doing this because I trust you. You can find her on 2345 Made Up Road Name. Don’t mess this up.” Her voice was stern but soft on the inside she really thought Corbyn can fix her daughter again, after all she had their kids. “You won’t be disappointed.” Corbyn’s mouth spread into a smile before canceling the call and putting the address in the GPS app immediately. 

The left the carts in the store and ran to their car. Jonah was driving while Corbyn was in the passenger seat. The excitement made the air feel thicker than cement. They were all opening their mouths to say something but nothing came out. Except Corbyn he was jumping up and down. He was about to see her again. A normal human being would’ve stopped searching for her after 6 months. But he never did. Even though all of his friends told him to stop and that it’s useless he didn’t. Once a fan claimed to see her in Canada and he flew there the next day disregarding the show they had that day.

Their car finally parked in front of Y/N’s new house. They were all just staring from the outside not knowing what to do. The white mansion was the only thing in their focus even though they knew what they were here to do. Corbyn was the first to actually walk towards the house itself. Placing his hand on the doorknob he expected it to be locked but instead loosely stumbled inside of the house. At first it seemed empty, like no one was there anymore. From the precisely cleaned kitchen to the perfectly made couch it was all un-touched. An eerie silence was filling the house until a child’s cry came from upstairs followed by light footsteps. It was Corbyn’s cue to move his feet upstairs the other guys following behind reluctantly their minds swarmed with thoughts like: “What if this isn’t her house and her mother was shielding her?” But Corbyn didn’t have those thoughts instead he had a magnetic force that was pulling him up those stairs, a familiar tingle in his chest area followed.     He knew she was there he felt it.

The one room that the lights were on in had silent lullabies echoing through it. And Corbyn knew that was her voice, it didn’t change. The creak in the door had a small ray of light coming through it. Corbyn slipped the door open revealing his soulmate comforting a baby. Her back was turned to them but her h/c hair was shining just the same as it did when they parted. Her figure was rocking back and forth while whispering soft things in the infants ear. In the meantime the other four gathered behind Corbyn taking in their best friend that disappeared more than a year ago. Corbyn shooed them away so he could talk to her like he wanted to. Why did she disappear? Did she really think he would reject his child? Head filled with thoughts similar to the ones listed before he stepped into the room, door making a high creaking sound while he walked towards her. Feet before their presences actually meet she abruptly turned around her e/c eyes glossed over with a look of terror within them. But she had nowhere to run now. The man she succeeded to avoid for all this time was in front of her. She placed the child back inside and turning around. Corbyn found her gaze and they never broke it. Probably they were just there staring at each other for minutes, until Y/N finally broke down. She let the tears she was holding in for so long fall and Corbyn didn’t hesitate to embrace her. He didn’t care if his shirt was getting wet and he didn’t care if he felt a tingle of betrayal in his heart. He was here now and he wasn’t turning back around and leaving. He probably didn’t even notice he was also crying until his voice croaked as he tried to speak. “Why did you leave?” “Because...” She finally tore away from his grip taking him by surprise. “You wouldn’t want me, you wouldn’t want us.” She sternly said standing her ground. “I would! You know I would take you and the baby in! If you needed I’d even quit the band!” He said tears were streaming down his face just like hers. “You see! I didn’t want you to! I didn’t want to distract you from your career!” “But you should’ve! I wanted to be there for when we got to know the gender of our child, I wanted to be there when you gave birth to him, to support you! And I wanted to be there when we were naming them!” Y/N felt a pang of guilt hit her chest. But she didn’t feel like she did anything drastically wrong. “Children. Corbyn.” She said softly. “What do you me-” He started but before he could finish he noticed the second baby bed in the left corner of the room. He jaw hung open and after awhile his lips spread into a smile again. “I’m sorry...” She started “I was wrong but... If it means anything they still have your lastname.” She smiled at the memory how she scolded the mean nurse that tried giving them her lastname just because their father wasn’t there. She was the worst and luckily wasn’t taken into the actual birth but her care for un-forgivably horrid.

He walked towards the bed taking in his son. Tears again prickled their eyes but this time it was happy tears. He had the exact same shade of brown hair as him and made Corbyn the happiest man that moment. “This might sound stupid but... I want to be a part of their life Y/N. And I want to be a part of yours.” She smiled at him “ Sure.” was her response. And in the next few seconds they were sharing a kiss. The sensation they were both missing for awhile now.

And from the door a few cheers were heard. Y/N imediatelly knew who it was.

[spacednp]

When You Wish Upon a Star

WATTPAD AO3

TW: NONE I DONT THINK besides swearing but that's legit all my fan fiction lmao wait I think I mentioned condoms once but again legit all my fanfics at this point

SUMMARY: PARENT PHAN TAKES CHILDREN TO DISNEY WORLD IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WTF

ADDITIONAL NOTES: p a r e n t p h a n i s m y k I N K

I DIDNT MAKE THE KIDS CALL PHIL DADDY BC THATS DANS JOB K? K

no but really Phil being daddy is too real

this legit is my favorite thing I've ever written asdfghjkl

WC: 3.7k

"Winne I swear to fucking Jesus if you don't stop moving for three seconds so I can put on your fucking socks I will fucking bash your head in you little shit," Dan hissed at the wiggling toddler in his lap. He loved his little girl, but she was also a brat, and that wasn't a good thing for the easily frustrated 30 something.

"Daniel! Watch your language in front of the children!" Phil chided his husband, covering their older child, Dillon's, ears.

"Papa, I'm seven and a half whole years old!" Dillon protested. "I already know all the naughty words!" Phil gasped at this and sent a glare at Dan that went unnoticed as Dan was preoccupied with the annoying little bundle of joy crying about not wanting the socks on.

"I'm no wanna!" Winnie cried, flailing her arms about. As Winnie was still learning how to speak, she had a few quirks and speech impediments. One of those was "I'm". The young child never used "I", it was always "I'm". When loud footsteps filled the house as Winnie ran about, she would scream, "I'm run!", which neither Dan nor Phil had the heart to correct her on. Winnie was their only baby. They adopted Dillon when he was 5, so they missed out on all the baby years, which they didn't want to miss again, so Winnie was born from a surrogate. Now Dan and Phil loved Winnie a hellova lot, but she was a fussy little brat.

"Goddamn it Winnie!" Dan spat as he grabbed onto the child's foot in a vain attempt to still it enough to get her foot in the sock. Dan let out a frustrated groan as he shoved Winnie's foot into the pale colored sock. "Philllll," Dan whined as Winnie kicked her sock off and caused it to fly across the room. Phil smiled slightly as he crossed the room to pick Winnie up off of Dan's lap, setting her on his hip and looking down lovingly as his very frustrated husband who was leaning back into the couch, almost melting into it. Dan smiled up at Phil and blew a curly hair out of his pink face.

"Thank you, babe," Dan said as he stood up and whipped off his sweaty palms on his dirty black jeans (they were clean, and then they found out that Winnie did NOT like peaches).

"You're welcome, Bear. Go help Dil get packed and ready," Phil said as he plopped down on the couch Dan had left unoccupied, laying Winnie down next to him. "Looks like its a sandal type of day, huh Winnie?" He asked his daughter, causing the two year old to giggle, sharp blue eyes full of happiness. God, he was going to die when she got old enough to date, he just might have to buy a gun.

Phil somehow managed to get the squirmy toddler into some white sandals with little pastel flowers decorating them that Dan said were "too fucking adorable". The family was rushing about trying to get ready as it was the day of their first trip as a family, and just like every other basic non-American family, they were going to Orlando.

"Philly!" Dan cried from Dillon's room, sounding frustrated. Phil laughed lightly, looking down at Winnie.

"Looks like Daddy is having some problems with Dil, huh Winnie?" Phil asked his little daughter as he picked her up and walked to Dillon's room, the toddler just giggled the whole walk, like she always did. As Phil entered the room covered in dinosaurs (because "they're the coolest things ever!"), he was greeted by a flustered Dan and a suitcase full of dinosaur toys, some stuffed and some plastic. Phil laughed at the mess and his upset (but still adorable) husband.

"Oh dearuh!" Winnie exclaimed in her sweet baby voice, causing even the very frustrated Dan to crack a smile. Phil rubbed Winnie's back as he looked around for Dillon, only to find him angrily crossing his arms in the corner.

"Yes, Winnie, very oh dear," Phil agreed as he met Dan's eyes. "What happened?" Phil asked his husband. Dan just shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

"Dil is being difficult," Dan said, gesturing to the suitcase full of dinosaurs and the fuming child. Phil smiled weakly and set Winnie on the ground before walking over to Dillon and crouching down to his level and looking him in his anger filled sea green eyes.

"What's up buddy?" Phil asked, aware of Dan fangirling in the background, as he always did when Phil acted all "Dad like". In the end Dan was just Phil trash #1, in any situation.

"Dad won't let me bring all my dinosaurs," Dillon grumbled, pouting slightly.

"Okay, but you need room for your clothes, how about we just bring two dinosaurs?" Phil offered, knowing Dillon would try to bump it up to three and that they could compromise like that.

"Three," Dillon countered just as Phil thought he would, to which Phil pretended to be iffy on for a minute.

"Okay then, three," Phil finally said, standing back up to full height and looking down at his now smiley son.

"Thanks, Papa!" Dillon yelped, throwing his arms around Phil's middle/waist area. Phil let out a small 'oof!' before patting his son's head and letting him hug him. Eventually Dillon pulled away and ran to pick his dinosaurs. Dan quickly replaced Dillon, wrapping his arms around Phil, causing the older man to giggle and wrap his arms around Dan's waist.

"Thank you," Dan muttered into the crook of Phil's neck. Phil loved the moments like that, when he was reminded of the years before, like in 2009 when he held Dan in the train station, like in 2012 when he told Dan they'd stay together, just times when their bodies were pressed together, two people oblivious to the world and content and happy in each other's arms, two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly, as cheesy as it was.

"You're welcome," Phil replied, enjoying the warm cinnamon smell of Dan's body wash. Eventually the boys untangled themselves from each other's arms and went back to packing.

"Philly," Dan said from where he was squatting next to Winnie who had one of Dillion's dinosaurs sticking out of her mouth. Dan quickly pulled the toy out of her mouth and tossed it to the side before Dillion caught of glimpse of what his sister was doing. The two loved each other, very very deep down. Dan and Phil knew it, but they also knew that if one even looked at something that belonged to the other, it would result in all out war, and no one had time for that when they were about to be stuffed together in close proximity for hours as they flew to America.

"Yes?" Phil asked as he folded Dillion's clothes and neatly set them in the suitcase. Most of which were tee shirts with various graphic designs on them, mostly dinosaurs. The prehistoric reptiles just fascinated Dillion, which always made his father's break into grin. After all, how could someone not find that adorable? It was near impossible.

"You have kid duty, I have to finish our packing, okay?" Dan asked as he made his way out the door, not really giving Phil an option. Little did Dan know, he had a shadow. A small, wiggly, sticky, chubby cheeked, little shadow.

"Ha, looks like you also have Winnie duty," Phil called after Dan, setting down the green dinosaur jumper in his hands to watch Winnie speed crawl after Dan. She could walk... kind of. It was more of waddling, so she mostly crawled around as her main method of transportation. Dan turned around and looked down at the tinny bag of giggles and put his hands on his hips, a stupid grin on his face.

"Where are you going, Winne poo?" Dan asked in a voice a little higher pitched and softer than his usual voice. It was the voice he talked to babies with, everyone had that kind of a voice.

"Wit Dadda," Winnie replied, still on all fours like a dog. Her pastel pink and white sported dress was flipped over so it showed her entire stomach and diaper, which made Dan wonder if they should of put shorts on under it. Dan decided it would be fine, it was only a two year old's diaper anyway.

"No no, Winnie poo, you gotta stay with Papa," Dan argued softly, gesturing to Phil who had gone back to helping Dillion pack and wasn't paying any attention to his husband or daughter.

"No no, I'm go wit Dadda," Winnie said, pulling herself up with Dan's still sticky and gross jeans that he really needed to change. She grabbed Dan's hand and waddled away, like she was trying to get Dan to come with her. Dan followed, like the good Dadda he was.

When they reached the stair case Dan scooped Winnie into his arms, and she didn't protest. She knew better. Both kids did. No one was aloud up the stairs without permission, which helped with the kids being safe and Dan and Phil being safe to do whatever they please in the privacy of their room. Plus, it was funny to watch the kids try and find a loop hole around the whole "no upstairs" rule, like "what if I have to pee and both the downstairs bathrooms explode". That one had to be Dan's favorite.

"Let go uppie!" Winnie sung, waving her chubby arms around in glee. She loved uppie, well, she did when it was somewhere she wanted to go, if Dan or Phil picked her up to go to her bedroom for sleepy time, she threw a fit. Their daughter was as much of a night owl as her fathers. Dan remembered one occasion when he picked her up in the store because she threw a temper tantrum (Dadda didn't get her the candy), and it only made it worse. Dan was so angry that he yelled at his daughter, but regretted it the second her saw how sad it made her. He was so tempted to just buy her the damn candy because he loved her so much, but he held strong, until later that night when he cried in Phil's arms. He couldn't help it, he loved Winnie an awful lot, and seeking her unhappy physically hurt him. She was his baby.

"Yay, uppie!" Dan cheered, wondering how in God's name he was going to pack for both he and Phil and watch Winnie to make sure she didn't get into anything she shouldn't be in. He knew he'd forget something, he just hoped it wasn't watching his daughter, he had no idea how he'd be able to explain to Phil how Winnie managed to swallow a condom. That would traumatize everyone involved, including Dan.

"Are you sure we have everything?" Phil asked for the millionth time. Dan nodded, trying to fiddle with his keys to lock the door. It was hard when you had a wiggly child and about a thousand bags in your arms. Okay, it was two bags, and Phil and even Dillion were carrying more, but still, they weren't carrying a Winnie.

"Yes, love, we have everything," Dan assured his husband.

Turns out they didn't have everything, in the rush to get packed and ready quickly, they forgot toothpaste. Now, since they were spending a week in Florida, they needed toothpaste. So, after hours of kicking and screaming and embarrassment from the flight, Phil had to go to a nearby Walmart and buy some toothpaste. Dan was at the hotel with the kids while Phil went, mainly because there was no way in hell Phil was being left alone with them that moment. Phil loved his kids and was even more patient with them than Dan, but the man needed a break. Even if it was just for 15 minutes, he enjoyed it. It was rare that he was the one who got a break, usually it was Dan before he actually murdered one of their kids.

Phil rushed through the rows upon rows of shelves, many of which were filled with things that seemed less than useless. (Seriously America? Who comes up with a stuffed animal that turns into a demon faced beast when you press a button?) He kept his head low, hoping he wouldn't be noticed by anyone. Usually he loved the fans and didn't mind being recognized and taking a few pictures with them, but he wasn't looking very great at the moment and would rather there not be dozens of copies of a photo where he had greasy hair and stained jeans on covering every social media cite.

Phil finally made his way to the personal hygiene area and scanned the shelves for the toothpaste he and Dan typically used. He found it and grabbed it, making his way to check out. He almost got out of the store without being recognized, until Maria behind the counter wanted a picture. Dammit. The fact that he didn't manage to go the entire shopping trip without being noticed bothered Phil, nevertheless, he took the picture with the girl and gave her hugs. She asked how Dan and the kids were and Phil said they were great and then he left, head down in embarrassment. He probably should of showered and changed before leaving the hotel, but he didn't.

Soon enough he was back in the hotel room, happy to find both Winnie and Dillion happily asleep in their shared bed. They had gotten two twin sized beds in the hotel room and hoped Winnie and Dillion would be okay with sharing, and thank goddess they were or else Phil might just cry. He walked towards the bed of his sleeping children and kissed each of their foreheads lovingly.

"Good night," he whispered to the sleeping forms as he turned to the door. He jumped a little to see someone standing behind him, but soon saw the curly fringe that belonged to his husband and felt relief fill him. Dan had his arms crossed across his chest and a loving smile across his face.

"They were very tired from being little shits for so long," Dan said, gesturing to their children on the bed. Phil giggled a little bit, Dan wasn't the most poetic person. For a boy who knew more words than anyone else Phil knew, he sure seemed to have his favorite words, which were just profanities.

"I'm sure they were, must be hard to embarrass your parents for hours on end," Phil said with a yawn. It was only eight in Florida, but in London it would be one in the morning and it had been a very long day. Dan soon joined Phil in his act of yawning and cursed at Phil for making him tired, though Phil knew it was just Dan being difficult and his words had no vicious intent.

"Let's go to bed," Dan said, giving Phil no real choice and dragging him to their bed. Phil shook his head and pulled out of Dan's grasp.

"Pajamas first," Phil ordered in a hushed voice (suddenly remembering that his kids were sleeping and not wanting to wake them), gesturing to his tight jeans. Dan, on the other had was already in his pajamas and looking very comfortable. Dan rolled his eyes and plopped down on the bed, quickly getting comfortable and tucking himself under the sheets.

Phil walked over to he and Dan's open suitcase (they decided to share because in all honestly neither knew which clothes were even his at that point, but hey, "what's mine is yours" and other shit that comes with marriage) and flipped through the mess of clothes until he found some pajamas. He didn't even bother going into the bathroom to change because his kids were fast asleep and it wasn't like it was anything Dan hadn't seen already. As he pulled off his shirt in one quick motion he heard Dan give a low two toned whistle from their bed and he just rolled his eyes. You'd think that after years of marriage Dan would give up on that cat calling, you'd be wrong. The boy was a massive flirt and since he was married Phil received all of Dan's flirting needs. Sometimes it was sexy but most times it was bloody annoying. Phil quickly shuffled out of his pants and pulled on his pajama shirt and pants before running over to check if the door and all the windows were locked. Once satisfied that they wouldn't be brutally murdered, raped, and/or kidnapped in their sleep, he crawled into bed next to Dan.

"Night night you sexy motherfucker," Dan muttered as he laid his head on Phil's chest, earning a snort of laughter from Phil.

"Night night," Phil replied, wrapping an arm around Dan's waist while using his other hand to pull the blanket over them both. Lots of sex, drugs, and death happened in hotels and Phil quite honestly had to force himself to not think about that to ever sleep in one. Having Dan next to him made it a little better, but bottom line hotels were disgusting and Phil hated them.

Slowly but surely Phil drifted off to sleep, happy that the next morning he and his beautiful family would enjoy the day at Disney World.

"Philly, I shouldn't have read all those Disney horror stories last week, you were right, I'm fucking terrified of this goddamn ride and holly shit I swear that robot just moved," Dan said in one breath, scooting as close as possible to Phil while squeezing his husband's hand so hard it hurt both parties. Phil meanwhile, was only half paying attention to Dan as he was terrified himself, but only because one of his kids, Dillion, was three rows away and he didn't want to lose his. Now, Phil wasn't all that over protective, okay, maybe a little, but any responsible parent would be afraid when their child(ren) could be in harms way, and his baby was so far away! God, Phil was going to have such a hard time sending either of his kids off to uni.

"Love, you'll be fine, they're supposed to move," Phil said, reacting over Winnie and patting Dan's knee with his free hand that wasn't caught in the death grip of a very terrified man. He stretched himself up a little to get a better look Dillion, who seemed to be having a blast. Winnie was laughing her head off in Phil's lap (it was the only way she'd be aloud on the ride and Phil knew the first chance Dan got he'd throw her like a grenade at the first thing that moved) and Dillion seemed to be screaming the lyrics to "It's A Small World". Phil was really happy his kids were having fun, but he still worried. He wished Dillion could of just sat closer to his fathers but nooo he was too cool for that. The little shit.

Eventually the ride was over and Dan was shaking too badly to hold Winnie, so Phil just set her down and told Dillion to hold her hand. Dillion was going to refuse but Phil gave him the "I swear to God if you don't do what I told you, you're grounded until you go off to uni" face and he obliged.

After a few rides where Phil and Dillion went on alone while Dan stayed on a bench nearby with Winnie, the color started to come back to Dan's face and they could go on a few more rides as a family. Then, Dillion and Winnie managed to get their fathers to get some ice cream eam (or 'i cweam', in Winnie's case), and they stopped by a nearby Dip-n-Dots cart.

"Winnie Pooh, you like your ice cream?" Dan asked, holding the now empty spoon Winnie had just taken a bite off of (Dan was feeding her because Winnie didn't really understand the concept of hot and cold yet, or spoons for that matter). Winnie nodded eagerly, a trail of melted pink ice cream falling down her cheek that Dan quickly whipped away.

"I cweam!" Winnie exclaimed, clapping her somehow-sticky hands to show her excitement. "Yum!"

Dan smiled affectionately at his daughter and felt a cold kiss on his cheek from Phil. "I swear to got Phil if you got fucking ice cream on my cheek I'm getting a divorce," Dan said, a smile on his face because there was no way he'd actually divorce Phil. He turned to his husband who had a huge grin on his face.

"Ops," Phil said, licking his thumb and rubbing it on Dan's cheek where he'd just kissed him. Dan scrunched his eyes in disgust.

"Ewie, 'pit!" Winnie cried, slapping her hands over her eyes in disgust.

"Exactly Winnie, 'ewie 'pit'," Dan replied, pushing Phil's hand away from his face and replacing his thumb with a napkin, like that would magically make the DNA on his face disappear.

"Stop with the PDA!" Dil said from across the table. "You guys are gross!"

Both Dan and Phil laughed at that, because somewhere down the line they'd become the gross couple that's always hugging and kissing in public with two adorable kids that were messy as hell. At that, was the dream. They were living the dream, a wish they wished many years before, before they even met, and as they say in the land of dreams, "when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true".