#my parasympathetic nervous system is constantly leaning up against a high voltage fence | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

torchickentacos · 5 months ago

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Does anyone else truly HATE being excited? I hate waiting for things that I'm looking forward to. Excitement is uncertainty. It's nervousness, it's energy, it's this weird sense of dread for something that I'm REALLY looking forward to. It's suffocating. I hate countdowns to announcements to things that I want to know more about. I would rather just wake up and check my phone and see what it was through a calm outline. It's physically uncomfortable for me to be excited for things. Does anyone else know what I mean???

#my adrenaline and catecholamines are supremely fucked up as shown in bloodwork so that doesn't help #my parasympathetic nervous system is constantly leaning up against a high voltage fence #my theory is that my body treats excitement and immense stress the same way and there's that constant high level of stress chemicals #I get palpitations when I'm excited. it's physically uncomfortable. It's this buzzing vibrating feeling. I hate it #I wish my body functioned normally but NOPE fucked up neurotransmitters #congrats! have fun getting panic attack symptoms because you're happy about something :)#this is why while it's not INCORRECT to call pots an orthostatic disorder it's also such an understatement of its effects #like it effects everything on such a deep level that i don't know how to explain it #every part of my body is tied to my illnesses. every single part. my illnesses are tied to other illnesses.#my comorbidities make each other worse. it's such a web #oh also the excitement dread could be an autistic thing but that's a whole other separate thing lol

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