#my other favorite thing is that she said in drag race uk quite a few things that sound like funny malapropers in english

[ellavaday]

my favorite thing about choriza ever is that there's this interview from los replicantes, same guy that interviewed hugaceo and carmen, that has questions they've all answered pretty differently, one of them is their opinion on a public debate about why was dres not in open broadcast in national tv like drag race uk (and if spain was prepared for such a thing, bc rn you have to watch it on a streaming platform); carmen, ever the pageant queen, was very polite saying maybe it will be some day and that the sold out tours are proof of it probably being sooner than most people think... hugaceo was like even if it's not ready that it would probably start discussions that should be had anyway and force people to face their own prejudices... and fucking choriza said whether spain was ready or not it didn't matter because the show would just be worse if it was in rtve bc the showrunners in public tv were all a bunch of old fashioned ppl with bad taste

[billvsamerica]

Driving Round the Bend

Nascar, Ford, Route 66, DUIs – just a few of the motorised things America is known for. Many American lives are built around their love of cars, be they muscle, truck, or with 22 inch rims. Your car is a representation of who you are as a person. If you own a Ford, you’re probably a lover of all things American. If you own a Corvette, you’re probably a middle-aged man having a mid-life crisis. And if you own a Honda, like we do, you’re probably Japanese. 

Last year, I married an American with a drag racer for a father. I’ve seen him walking in high heels, and can safely say he’s not the Ru Paul kind. I’m talking mouse-shaped cars with humongous wheels at the back blazing down the track at over 200mph. To say my dad is a comparatively conservative driver would be an understatement. The most exciting moment I’ve ever had with him was when we thought we ran over a rabbit in France. We drew stares and exclamations in French from the passengers in cars alongside us. We thought we were dragging a mangled rabbit’s carcass along in front of us like some sort of satanic ritual. However, we pulled over and found it was just a piece of plastic. That’s it. That’s the whole story. He never breaks the speed limit. In fact, he’s probably at risk of getting pulled over for driving too slow. His favorite car is a safely parked one far away from wherever he is. He is certainly no drag racer.

Stevie C’s sweet ride

Shelby’s dad and his pals used to close huge bridges by parking their trucks across the lanes, so they could whip down the road in their Novas and Camaros, American Graffiti style. My dad used to have a Morris Minor. This lack of love for cars has passed through the genes to me. While Shelby was drag racing in her 1973 Nova, I was failing my driving test with three majors and twenty-six minors. I failed the test four times over in just an hour, only missing out on a fifth time by a couple of minors. Even though I took the test in a geared car (manual to all you Americans), I was a danger to myself and everybody else on the road. I put that part of my life behind me in a little box marked times I have let myself and others down (it’s quite full, but I visit it less nowadays than I used to).

 Shelby’s sweet ride

My next vehicle test came in Taiwan two years later with an attempt to tackle their moped test. Part of the test was driving in a straight line, and that proved very difficult to me. All three times. I was laughed out of the place by groups of Taiwanese kids who were passing the test blindfolded with no hands. So I just drove around illegally, wobbling and weaving around the dangerous, busy streets with a screaming Shelby hanging on to the back.

My sweet ride

As the years went on, I became even more responsible... God knows how (Shelby) and had another crack at my proper, British driving test at the ripe old age of 25. After months of lessons and painstaking hours in the car with my nervous (but committed) father, I passed the test with flying colors (very nearly failed on the last corner). I took full advantage of driving for the few months that remained for me in England, driving around country lanes at the appropriate speed limit, pumping the tunes, and feeling the wind rushing through my hair. That was it, surely. That’s something you never have to do again, right?

I enjoyed a whole year of test-free driving on the American roads until it dawned on me (Shelby) that I needed to do a test to continue my insurance. In England, we’re under the impression that American tests are easy peasy break paddle squeezy. They let kids drive, don’t they? Shelby didn’t even have to do a test. She was 15 when she started driving legally, and she used to drive around the dirt roads by her house when she was just a child. I wasn’t even allowed to drive a remote controlled car until I was 18. Still, it can’t be that hard if a child can do it. But that wasn’t just any child, that was the daughter of a drag racer.

I was starting to get used to stop signs, turning right when the light is red, the big scary interstates, and I now know most of the American swears for when I get road rage. I felt ready. It took us four trips to the DMV before I was able to take my first test. First, I had to get my UK driving license translated. I had to get it translated from English into English at the cost of fifty dollars. By the time that was sorted out, the documents that proved my address had gone out of date which we learned on my next visit. Finally when the stars aligned and the Gods were looking favorably upon me, I was allowed to take my test. After researching the rules of the road at great length, I passed the written test with no problem at all. I was riding high when I got out of there, ready to take on the practical test.

After a few minutes waiting around, an incredibly humorless woman emerged from the tunnels and sewer lair of the DMV. She called my name and we went over to the car. Old faithful – our Honda Civic (Shelby’s). She asked me to turn on the ignition, use the windscreen wipers, flick the indicator, put on the headlights, and turn on the heater. I thought, if it carries on like this I’m a shoe in for a shiny license.

Then, shock, horror! She got in the car and asked me to drive. After successfully driving around for a bit, we turned a corner and I entered the right hand lane, as always. After driving along for a bit, it became apparent that the lane was ending, suddenly. Ceasing to exist. I noticed a car in my side mirror. I thought, surely this man is going to slow down and let me come across, so I started to merge. He didn’t. He drove up alongside me and bleared his horn. Shit. That can’t be good. We drove around for a bit longer for some unknown reason, then returned to the worse place on earth, the DMV, both knowing I had failed. I had nearly caused an accident. She confirmed my failure without cracking a grin, though I know she wanted to.

I left, totally crushed with the fact that I had to go back to the bloody DMV again.

The next time I went back, I was confident that as long as I didn’t cause a terrible accident, I would pass. Got in the car, flicked some nobs (oh cheeky), and we were on the road. We drove around for a bit - flawlessly I might add - and then she asked me to pull over. Reverse up this hill she said. What? I thought. I’d never.. I can’t. Straight lines. They’re not my thing. I started reversing and felt my usual non-straight line coming out. I started to think, not again! Then, she said, do a 3 point turn wherever you can. It was a tiny road, I went off the end of it. I’ve failed, surely. We drove back to the DMV and we went round the back. Park in the space provided. Reverse in. I did it. I forgot to indicate. We pulled up and I thought, well that’s it. She said “Well, you did this wrong, and this, and this..” Oh no. “But you’ve still passed! I was about to question why, but thought I better not. I was on the road again, which is great for me, but maybe not so good for other road users. 

I’ll never ever have to do another driving test again – he said, hopefully.

[lesbianbruabba]

All of the questions 😈

Jokes on you bitch I have time since I’m waiting for drag race to air but oh my god this is gonna be long so i’ll pull an Iza and put it under a read more 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I don’t know

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy, even though I don’t feel like I am, people tell me I’m shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My brother when he comes here oh my god. I miss him. I’m going to make him watch a couple crazy music videos and possibly scar him. 

@lettiehigh and @akakuro4869-blog and @rippling-waves when I get back to Hong Kong and Tiff and Bella and Karl and Ellie and Miss R and everyone else

@samrull and Lettie again and maybe @lecafenoirx if I go to Bristol in September to see flor

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I’d say so! Unless you give me a reason to dislike you lol

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Probably but that’s a stupid question since I don’t drink :)

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind people. Usually more on the feminine side? Even the more muscular guys that I thirst after have a few feminine traits like a higher-pitched voice.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Nope, I’m going back to Hong Kong so there’s even less chance of me being in a relationship lol

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Ryan Ross [insert tongue emoji]

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nope. I’m usually way too open, quite a few of my friends are this way too. Literally one time my brother and I shared a hotel room and the first thing he said when my folks were out of earshot is complaining how he can’t jack off for a whole week (I asked him why he couldn’t do it in the shower, he said it was too much effort to do so standing up XD)

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Kasia or Iza about body image? define deep

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Call him or dump his useless ass?” to Lettie

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Victorious by P!atD, Dodie Clark’s cover of Somebody Else by the 1975, I Need My Girl by the National, Pożyczony by Sylwia Grzeszczak and Honey by Kehlani

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah! People at school used to love braiding my hair because it was so long. And I like playing with people’s hair, because I can French braid on others but I can’t do it with myself :/

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Sometimes?

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I’ll say last summer since it’s not quite summer yet now. Well, I was accepted into Edi, got a 38 on the IBDP which is not too bad, and celebrated my birthday with my squad (rip)

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yep :)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I fkin hope not 

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

My first actual crush or like, elementary school crush? But no on both counts

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I’ve never had one :/ I’ve never had a ~bath~ tbh. I want to try in the summer because home in Hong Kong has a bathtub. 

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I like my flatmates here, we like the same kind of porn and vines. I don’t know my neighbors well enough back home

21. What are you bad habits?

I trust too easily, I am intelligent but lazy when it comes to schoolwork (I procrastinate), I worry way too fucking much about everything, I have crushes on people that I should NOT have crushes on sometimes (see: gay men)

22. Where would you like to travel?

I answered this a while back I think but as far as I could remember it’s a lot of european places - Oslo, Aarhus (I’m going to Copenhagen!!), Moscow, Tallinn, Berlin, Lublin, Warsaw, Kraków, Gdańsk, Lyon, Lisbon, Prague, honestly just count in every capital haha. I’m not good at geography. Also, Tasmania, Tokyo, Osaka (I’ve been twice but it’s. So good), London, Glasgow are all places I’d go again. 

23. Do you have trust issues?

With my mum yeah lmao

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Talking to my friends (basically everyone I’ve tagged up there I don’t have many friends lmao)

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My thighs because they’re heavily scarred, my tummy because fat, double chin, face because weirdly big lips and weird shape and small eyes, honestly most of my body if I’m being honest, when I’m not corseted. 

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Go through tumblr, twitter, instagram, kik, snapchat, emails, facebook, usually in that order. And then maybe scroll a bit more through tumblr and drag myself awake. Brush teeth and drink juice for breakfast. 

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

My skin tone is fine. I’m kinda pale for a Chinese girl (according to others, but my skin’s gotten darker in recent years) so I sometimes have to use white people products. I only lighten my skin for doing goth-y makeup so in those instances i’d love to have lighter skin. (then again, I’m talking like...wallpaper white if possible pls)

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My friends and my brother. 

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

What exes lmao

30. Do you ever want to get married?

If it’s with the right person yeah. 

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

My hair is long enough for several pony tails

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Men - Jawn and Ryan Ross

Women - Stephanie Beatriz and Lynn Gunn

33. Spell your name with your chin

 cbhreusftjd

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Exactly - what sports?

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Without TV. I can’t live without music. 

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Would’ve said yes up to this morning haha

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

So, do you know what a furry is?

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Emo, responsible, kind, good sense of humor, understanding, appreciates Ryan Ross, doesn’t mind me checking my phone a lot [insert date in Hong Kong meme]

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Damaged Society for band merch, Ann Summers for lingerie, various taobao shops for lolita fashion, Restyle for corsets

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Study linguistics at university. Hey! I’m doing that!

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

No but most people do

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I don’t feel like talking/I’m depressed/I’m thinking

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Not like randomly?...

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

NEITHER I LIKE BEING SAFE OH MY GOD

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Brushing my teeth or needing to pee?

46. What are you paranoid about?

I’m paranoid that I won’t graduate uni, about not being able to find a job that I will be happy at (doesn’t have to be a dream job but I don’t want to work at something I hate like a factory), I’m paranoid that no one will ever love me esp. romantically, that my family will never accept me as a bisexual woman, that I won’t be able to migrate to the UK before I’m 30 or worse before China takes back Hong Kong in 2047 and I will be trapped in hellish censorship conservative society, that depression and anxiety will drive me to off myself before any of that could even happen

47. Have you ever been high?

Noooooooooo don’t do drugs :( I say, even though I am friends with a drug dealer lol

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nope, alcohol tastes gross

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Recently no. But like when I was a kid yeah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Pink!

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Every day :/

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I want to weigh 80lbs. It’s been this stupid ‘goal’ throughout teenagehood and I know it’s stupid and unhealthy but I really want to. I don’t care if I won’t have boobs. 

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Maybelline has good concealer

54. Favourite store?

Damaged Society

55. Favourite blog?

Can’t make me pick between these two 

56. Favourite colour?

Pink

57. Favourite food? 

Tiramisu and also siu mai but only the fish ones because they taste like garlic and also calbee chips, british junk food is garbage compared to the stuff we have in hong kong (they’ve got good sweets here though)

58. Last thing you ate?

Spaghetti carbonara

59. First thing you ate this morning?

I didn’t eat today till dinner which was spaghetti carbonara

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I got first runner up in a nationwide comp for poetry. I wrote a depressing poem that ended up with my English teacher sending a concerned email to my folks lol

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

*gasp* I am a good student

62. Been arrested? For what?

Oh my god. I’m a good girl. I’m not with that kinda shit

63. Ever been in love? 

I have fallen in love but not like...reciprocated love, no

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Ooh this is fun. He offered to be my first kiss and I said sure and we made out and it was nice and less scary than I thought but I forgot to close my eyes

65. Are you hungry right now?

No I had too much spaghetti :(((((

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

are you calling my tumblr friends fake

But no I love them all. Also given that half of my irl friends are on tumblr idk what to say lmao

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr is the MOST SUPERIOR SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE IT IS TRASH

69. Are you watching tv right now?

We’d need a TV license for that. and a TV. so no

I’ve got netflix

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Lettie, Chloe, Iza, Natalie, Daniel (my brother), Karl, Bella (but she’s mad at me so idk), there’s a couple of people who I consider close friends but idk if they’re okay with me calling them my best friends

71. Craving something? What?

A GETAWAY FROM THE SMOOTH TALK THAT’S KEEPING ME GROUNDED  TO THE CARPET IN MY ROOM MY QUIET BLUE TOMB OF YOU

72. What colour are your towels?

Both purple why

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One. Or zero if I kick it to the floor by accident. I mostly hug it.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

No :(

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

zero. I have a stuffed L Lawliet from Death Note though. It’s a present for my mum when I get home. I’ve also got a few stuffies back home courtesy of Lettie and Bella

75. Favourite animal?

Humans but I like dogs and cats and rats are kinda cute too?

76. What colour is your underwear?

Right now it’s white but I’ve got beige and grey ones I’m kinda boring

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Coffee

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

White, my waterparks shirt :)

80. What colour pants?

Blue denim shorts

81. Favourite tv show?

Drag race, b99, the good place, parks and rec, ASOUE

82. Favourite movie?

Dzien Swira it’s funny and depressing

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean girls but i’ve not seen the second one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean girls, idk what the other one is

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

The nice girl

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk...the blue fish? Ellen Degeneres? 

87. First person you talked to today?

Iza

88. Last person you talked to today?

Kasia

89. Name a person you hate?

Uhhhhhhhm Doanld Trump?

90. Name a person you love?

My brother he’s so smart and creative and sweet and makes the worst puns and he loves fall out boy and tries to be an edgelord and it’s super adorable so that’s great 

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

My feelings bc they dumb

92. In a fight with someone?

Kiiiiiiiinda? More like she’s mad at me and idk what to do about it because i refuse to go to fucking london with her because international plane tickets are expensive as heck and she wants me to go in the middle of summer when i’m home

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

easy, 0

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

A Lot. Like 10. 

95. Last movie you watched?

Dzien Swira

96. Favourite actress?

Sara Canning and Stephanie Beatriz make me v gay

97. Favourite actor?

Neil Patrick Harris because Count Olaf

98. Do you tan a lot?

No lmao

99. Have any pets?

m-my brother...?

100. How are you feeling?

Impatient because drag race hasn’t aired yet. Lonely because my favorite flatmate moved out and there’s no one to chat with me at 3am anymore. Frustrated because my crush-y feelings are being dumb. Sad because my mum is kiiiiiiiiiiiinda homophobic and I imagine myself getting married to a woman not a man (it’s more likely) so :/

101. Do you type fast?

68 WPM? Is that fast?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

I regret a lot of things. But it’s okay I’ve not turned out too bad overall considering. I’m also glad I did a lot of things, so

103. Can you spell well?

I think so yeah

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yes absolutely in particular one person because sometimes I regret things that I did with good intentions and never stop regretting :/

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

I’ve been to a campfire so kinda??

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Nah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes!! When I was a kid

108. What should you be doing?

It’s 1am so prolly sleeping but who has time for that amirite

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Yeah my mum. And my feelings

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yes lmaoooooo don’t read me like this

111. Do you have trust issues?

This was a question up there. Why is it asked again. You’re making me have trust issues

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Ooh shit I don’t know I haven’t cried in front of people for a while mostly because I shut myself in my room but prolly my brother or my mum back home 

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Never had one (that I liked)

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

~that’s not a thing~ uwu

115. Do you play the Wii?

No my mum is against video games

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes I’m listening to Dear Uber Driver

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Never had it

118. Do you like Chinese food?

I like dim sum and egg tarts and a lot of HK street food so yes? 

119. Favourite book?

Suck Less by Willam

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Sometimes, but at other times it’s oddly comforting

121. Are you mean?

:o I am the least mean person to exist 

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No unless it’s in NTAL but even then it’s like hmmmm is it tho

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Lol no

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I think it’s possible but unlikely

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah I’d like to

126. Are you currently bored?

No because this is keeping me entertained until I can watch drag race

127. What makes you happy?

Talking to my friends, sending them dumb tumblr shitposts, sending my brother disturbing gifs, getting weird gifs from Chloe, thirsting over Jawn with Iza, hearing that my friends are happy, reading and sharing poetry with friends, listening to music, playing the ukulele, eating junk food and watching b99, answering tumblr asks, writing poetry, drawing

128. Would you change your name?

I don’t like Christie so yes. Would change my Chinese name too it’s too annoying to write. 

129. What your zodiac sign?

Leo//rabbit

130. Do you like subway?

No :(

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Brenda, he’s gay. Very very very gay, think a 6 on the kinsey scale

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Again. this has been asked. What kinda unprofessionalism

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

I think with my heart and love with my head

134. Can you count to one million?

I mean...in theory yes but why would I do that 

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

I told my mum I was striaght lmao

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed. What the fuck

137. How tall are you?

5′2

138. Curly or Straight hair?

I have straight hair, I want wavy hair. Or bangs. 

139. Brunette or Blonde?

I have black hair. I tend to have blondes/general bright hair as a ‘type’ when it comes to romantic affection/crushes but it’s also not v accurate

also, I want pink hair. I had a dream where my brother loved MANIA so much he dyed his hair purple

140. Summer or Winter?

WINTER. BUT WITHOUT SNOW. Summer brings out my skin problems so I have a v valid reason to hate it. Also I’m fat so my thigh chafe in summer if I walk more than an hour

141. Night or Day?

I am usually, unfortuantely, only awake at night and like maybe late afternoon. 

142. Favourite month?

I don’t have one. December I guess bc it’s acceptable to play christmas music. or June bc pride month

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope. I don’t love meat though. 

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk. With sea salt and caramel. I’m a classy hoe

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee. Either iced americano or some sweet frappe shit

146. Was today a good day?

Today was a very good day. I told my crush I liked her, slept away most of the day, watched a lot of brooklyn nine-nine and listened to Dodie while doing German and Polish on duolingo and I read Chloe’s poetry and it was very good. Link here. And Kasia gave me lots of good song recs. And drag race is up soon (it’s technically tomorrow but whatever). 

147. Mars or Snickers?

I can’t pick because Snickers has such a great texture, but also mars bars has the perfect nougat to caramel to chocolate ratio? Probably mars wins out by a bit

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Hewwo” - Aquaria, RuPaul’s Drag Race

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

I’d like to think souls can see what we’re doing after they pass away.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“Adjective opposites and their comparatives” from a Polish grammar book.

Thank you for this long ass ask 

drag race still hasn’t fucking aired so i’m gonna watch more b99 and drink fanta