#my one alloted celebrity brainrot. the others didnt rot me this much

[nelyastudies]

07.21.2024 / public health rotation 🌼🌸🌺🐝

german study (10m)

diabetes module (4h)

get milk for malnutrition program home visits (1h)

guided meditation (1h)

fun stuff

trying discord study room! it was fun

listening to my swagous playlist on the bike ride

also my longest bike ride! 17.35 km is a new high!

🎧 - lonely, jonghyun ft. taeyeon

yapping below

(i am going to sound INSANE. i will remind u guys that i take aripiprazole and all the bunch other, im okay!)

i was complaining to ven that it's been a while since i dream about jonghyun and the next day i saw the moon in such a peculiar brightness and color (show off). the moon here usually looks pale yellow, but yesterday it was cold white and very very bright. call me insane but i will take it as a reassurement.

today was the same, i was biking around listening to playlist i made for AJ and snooping milk prices in a supermarket when i found oronacimin C there. i instantly remember the silly advertisement jjong recorded long ago where he looked very very happy. the drink is not commonly found here (local competitors won in both taste and price) and i will be lying if i say i didnt hold on to it like its my newborn baby.

i decided that i will share the vitamin drink with jjong today. i biked a long time looking for somewhere pretty to sit down and drink. i biked past rivers and irrigation channels and vast paddy fields and coconut orchards. i didnt even realize how far i have cycled, far beyond my usual meters, my eyes were scouting for pretty places and lost in reverie at the same time.

i found a big and pretty tree on the other side of a big irrigation channel, green and inviting. beyond it were paddy fields as far as eyes can see and little grey hills beyond. i'm lucky that the bridge over the channel was cemented, so i can cross it safely. i biked on the small cemented path and then to a tiny dirt path. in the intersection, i saw some children trying to climb up and reach fruits of a keres tree. not far from that, some boys are splashing in a river and somersaulting, the sound of water and wind was musical, almost singing alongside my spotify playlist. it felt right. in that exact moment, the song ended and another song began. it was lonely by jjong. i'm happy hearing his voice and that he decided to meet me here. it was the right place, i was certain. so i sat down on the grass and get my drink from my satchel. poured some to the soil in front of me and say a little prayer for jonghyun, that he is happy, that all his good deeds are cherished and all his faults forgiven. i biked home with an uplifted heart. i have no doubt that wherever he is, he is happy and at peace. i am certain that he is somewhere better than here. if i want to meet him someday, i will have to do many good deeds. i do wish to meet him someday. not too soon i hope though, i have to live my life first. i hadnt even do half the good things he had done in life. i pray that i succeed.