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#my not phone that i use for everything else is like a foot away. but no we’re not doing that
nazumichi · 1 year
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drawing things on my phone with my finger is an entirely different experience: my hands are shaking, my finger is obscuring the drawing, the screen is minuscule, the stabilizer tool is a haunting lure that i would never use anyway, the advert at the top of the screen mocks me as i press redo for the thousandth time, i ask if it’s worth it really and this wretched thing i’ve made spits up a single “looks good, king. never do this again.”
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gay-dorito-dust · 5 months
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Hii sweetie, how are you? Are requests open rn? I'm soooo sorry if they arent and i'm botherig you, but can i make a sugestion please? How would batboys (including bruce if possible) would "react" to missing you while on a mission? And maybe in the end the reenconter? Just an idea❤️
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I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to write this and I hope that it’s everything you want and more.
Dick; sits and sulks as he stares at his phone.
I’m joking…or am I?
He’d be mentally counting away the hours before he came back home to you once more. He tries to act professional and keep a level head seeing as how leaders aren’t meant to have room for errors, he’s learnt that the hard way many times. But he can’t help but yearn to be in your arms and fall into the deepest sleep ever knowing that you were close by and above all safe.
He would use this as motivation to get through the long, long night of patrol in hopes of making time take pity on him and go just that little bit faster, just for his selfish convenience. He just so desperately wants to see you and Hayley cuddled up together on your shared bed, or watching a movie together if you were still awake this late at night. You held a piece of his heart without even knowing it.
So when he feels the patrol come to an end, he’s gleefully beating the piss out of the goons he’s come across with a smile across his face. It’s borderline terrifying image that will forever remain burnt into the deepest parts of his teammates memory for a good long while.
The minute Dick came home and you so happened to be waiting for him, he was already scooping you into his arms and holding you close to his chest as he buried his head into your neck.
‘I missed you.’ He murmurs.
‘I’m pretty sure that’s my line you’ve just stolen.’ You joked as you ran your hand through his dark hair, relived in seeing him home safe and unharmed.
‘Well it’s my line now because I really did miss you,’ Dick said, tightening his hold on you, ‘you we’re all I thought about tonight and how much I wanted to come home and be where I want to be most, in your arms.’ He adds tired and you couldn’t help but coo softly at him.
‘Aww Dickie bird.’ You began. ‘You sound about ready for some much needed sleep.’
Dick lets out a deep sigh as he practically slumps against you. ‘That sounds like a good idea. Is Hayley in bed?’
‘Yes.’ You answered, rubbing his back soothingly.
‘Her bed or ours?’ Dick asks.
‘Do you even need to ask?’ You reply with a chuckle and from that alone did Dick get his answer.
Jason; he’s a little impatient with having to wait to come back home to you, so much so that it tends to end with him brutalising his adversaries more then usual.
Whoops.
He doesn’t apologise at all.
He was so use to coming home to a empty apartment after patrol that long nights like these never use to bother Jason, as it often meant he had something else to do other then stare up at his ceiling, waiting for sleep to catch up to him. Now that he had you however, all Jason wants to do was come home as soon as possible just to catch a glimpse of your sleeping figure on his -now your- bed.
He’s grown addicted to being at your side no matter what that being apart from you for prolonged periods of time made Jason feel hollow, as though he was missing a vital part of himself somewhere and that vital part was you.
So when he gets home he’s already dropped his helmet off somewhere and kneeling before you as you held his face in your hands and groaning as he presses his face further into your hands.
‘I’ve missed you so much tonight chipmunk.’ He admits.
‘I’ve missed you too jay bird.’ You replied, pressing a kiss to his nose, squealing when he stole a quick peck from your lips as you smacked his bicep shortly after. ‘Someone’s feeling particularly loving tonight.’ You add.
Jason groans as he looks up at you with his pretty, pretty eyes that never fail to take your breath away. The mere image alone of this six foot something man kneeling before you was enough to make you feel like the most powerful being in existence. ‘Is it blasphemy for a man to show his partner how much he’s missed them now?’ He asks and you couldn’t help but laugh as you pressed another kiss to his nose, pulling away enough to see him smile dopily at your kiss.
‘No, but it would be great to be warmed ahead of time before you try to steal another kiss.’ You said and Jason smirks. ‘So you’re telling me there is going to be a next time?’ He says teasingly.
‘Don’t let it go to your head hotshot.’ You reply, grabbing one of his hands and pulling him towards the bedroom.
‘I think I already have sweetheart.’ Jason says with a smile, happy to be home.
Bruce: keeps tabs on you during patrol whilst also remaining vigilant and dedicated to the task at hand.
Bruce was a master at multitasking.
He would always make sure you were safe and decried whenever he got a couple minutes to breathe on his own. He even has a special alert made for you in the instance where you were in danger walking home.
He even finds himself looking at shops you’ve told him about going to, but never doing so due to scheduling conflicts and making a mental note to take you there as a treat to spoil you rotten.
Bruce had more experience in neglecting his own wants and needs for the betterment of Gotham and everyone living in it. So while he may miss you dearly, he knew that his dedication to bettering Gotham’s crime rate one villain, underground drug syndicate, crime lord at a time outweighed that greatly.
So the moment he comes home to you he smiles softly as he allows you to remove the cowl from his head, gently place it down elsewhere, before moving on to wiping the black makeup clean from his eyes.
Bruce knows he could easily done it himself but much rather prefers it if you were the one to do it instead, as it often allows him to have a moment alone with you. No interruptions nor distractions could make him break his gaze away from yours.
‘You’re doing Gotham a whole lot of good Bruce.’ You tell him as you finished wiping off the last of his eye makeup that he puts on under the cowl. ‘ Not many people would be willing to try to keep a dying city alive. Im so proud of you for doing the unthinkable.’ You add as you press a kiss to his cheek.
‘Someone’s got to shoulder the responsibility of this town and I’m more than willing to shoulder that responsibility everyone else who can’t.’ Bruce replies as he takes your hands in his own, kissing the backs of them as his thumbs caressed each of your knuckles. ‘But coming home to you reminds me I’m not alone in this endeavour and I don’t know how to thank you enough for standing by me.’
You smile. ‘You don’t need to thank me at all, just take care of yourself alright? We don’t want the Dark Knight running on fumes now when he’s just getting started.’
Damian: naturally goes by his father’s example and remains focused on the task at hand.
He was trained for long nights like these but you’ve become somewhat of a problem during them.
Damian had often found himself sat on a rooftop somewhere, looking down at two people enjoying the other’s company, and immeditly starts to imagine that it was him and you instead.
He hates how easily his mind drifted towards you during patrol with his father or his other siblings but he just can’t help it but crave for your presence. It makes him feel weak and vulnerable but ironically he doesn’t hate it as much as he probably should’ve. He’s even found himself wanting to count stars with you at one point during patrol until he got him act together to take down a few goons.
He doesn’t admit this to anyone as he’s already felt embarrassed enough that he didn’t needed to be embarrassed even further by the miscreants he’s made to called his family. For he knew they’d never let him live it down for being so caught up on you, they’d called him everything their small minds can come up with for the sake of teasing their younger brother.
So when he comes back to you, he doesn’t say anything other than hugging you uncharacteristically tight against his chest.
‘Someone’s missed me.’ You joked but when Damian didn’t say anything but tighten his grip on you and huff did you change your tune. ‘Oh you did. If it’s any consolation I missed you too.’ You add as you both stayed there in each others arms.
‘Just…hold me will you…please.’ He said softly as he sunk further into your embraced and he closed his eyes, secretly happy to be back home with you.
‘I’m fine with that.’ You replied as you concede to his wishes, just happy to see him home in one piece.
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forzalando · 8 months
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hi marissa! first, i hope you have a wonderful time with your family!!
second, could i request “i might have had a few shots” with max, where reader drunk calls him after a breakup? thank youu 🫶🏻🫶🏻
i feel like i took some creative liberties with this one! i wasn't sure if you meant reader and max breakup or reader calls max after breaking up with someone else - so i went with the latter and couldn't resist making them idiots in love😭. after writing the danny ric angst, i needed to heal my own heart lol i truly hope you love it, liyah! thank you for always being so kind, it was a pleasure to write for you! wc: 1.8k warnings: cursing (most likely), a little bit of angst, mentions of drinking/reader being drunk
Getting ahold of Max Verstappen was nearly impossible – his use of the custom “Do Not Disturb” function was impressive. He had custom settings for everything: a work setting, a setting for when he was streaming, a race day setting, but his most prized was his sleep setting.
Once local time hit 10pm, Max Verstappen was unreachable to everyone. Well, almost everyone. His family, Christian, and you were the only exceptions, which aggravated Daniel to no end. “I’m your best friend, too!”, he’d claimed. But it wasn’t the same.
Max wasn’t secretly in love with Daniel. He’d take your calls anytime, day or night.
It was nearing midnight – Jimmy and Sassy were sound asleep at the foot of his bed and he’d been watching some legal drama you recommended. He hated it, but for you he’d watch it forever and take notes just to have another thing to talk to you about.
At this point, the show had practically put him to sleep, but the loud chime of his phone and your contact picture lighting up the screen jolted him awake.
“Maxie?” You yelled into the speaker. “Maxieee, are you there?”
“I’m here, liefje,” he chuckled. “What are you doing up so late?”
“Th’girls made me go out,” you whined. “Said I needed to dance and drink the night away.”
“And did you?” Max teased - by the sound of your voice, it was obvious you had taken their advice.
You giggled and the sound made Max’s heart clench in his chest. “I might’ve had a few shots, but don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret. Can you keep a secret, Max?”
His heart clenched now for a different reason – he was the best at keeping secrets. He’d been in love with you for over a year and the only living souls who knew were his cats. And probably Danny, though he'd had the sense to never bring it up.
“For you, I would do anything,” Max declared. In your drunken state, you failed to recognize the full extent of the meaning behind his words.
“Perfect!” You hiccupped, stumbling slightly before your friend caught your arm.
It was silent for a moment – Max waited for you to say something else but only heard your breathing through the speaker. “Is everything ok? Why did you call?”
“Well, no. Wanna go home but everyone else wants to stay out. Can you come get me, Maxie? It’s cold outside.”
“Are you alone?” He asked frantically, jumping out of bed and throwing a sweatshirt on in record time. He shoved his feet into his shoes so quickly that his ankle rolled – his trainer would be pissed when it came time for tomorrow’s workout.
“No, Nat and Peter are outside with me. They’re good friends. But not as good as you!”
Max breathed a sigh of relief – grateful that your closest friend and her boyfriend were watching over you. Unfortunately, the relief didn’t keep his stomach from twisting at “good friend”.
“I’ll be there in ten minutes, ok?”
You shouted thank you gleefully and hung up – he could picture you jumping up and down in excitement, you’d probably fall over unless Nat and Peter were close enough to catch you.
Minutes later, he pulled up alongside the club and he’d barely made it out of his car before you were jumping into his arms.
“I knew I could count on you, Maxie.”
He gently put you in the passenger seat, buckling you in and grabbing a jacket from his backseat to drape over you. Once you were comfortable, content, and ready to go, he turned to your friends to thank them for waiting with you.
“Thanks for staying with her until I could get here.”
“No problem at all,” Nat smiled. “We all thought she deserved a night out after the week she’s had, but I think she’d rather just be with you.”
Max blushed, unintentionally ignoring that your friend had just let slip you’d had a terrible week and he’d had no idea. He thanked them once again, and slipped into his car to find you half asleep and cuddling his jacket.
He thought you’d be out like a light in moments and turned the radio down, content to sit in silence until he got to his place. He’d rather die than wake you up to find your keys when you looked so peaceful.
“Can I tell you another secret, Maxie?” You murmured, startling him when you broke the still silence in his car.
“Sure, Y/N.”
“Alec dumped me. And I’m not even sad about it.”
Your latest boyfriend – you’d been dating for a couple of months. Max wondered why you had called him instead of Alec, but he didn’t want to ask since he didn’t particularly like talking about your boyfriends, even if they were nice. As far as he could tell, Alec was one of the nice ones.
“I’m sorry. Is that why your friends wanted you to go out?”
“They thought I’d be devastated,” you said bewildered. “And I haven’t even cried! You know me, Maxie, I’m a crier. I had to pretend to be upset when I told them.”
Max laughed at that, looking at you as you laughed along with him. His dimple and shining eyes caused your heart to skip a beat, and your smile slowly disappeared.
Suddenly, you had a horrified look on your face. You knew why you hadn’t cried – it was because you didn’t really care that much about Alec. Sure, he was sweet, kind, and attractive, but something was missing. When he broke up with you, he was so gracious, telling you that he thought the world of you but that it would never work because you were clearly in love with someone else. You’d protested – told him the only constant male presence in your life was Max, your best friend. He’d just smiled at you and said “I know”, leaving you perplexed when he left the coffee shop you had met up at. Until now, you had no idea what he meant.
You turned away from Max, shocked at the revelation of your feelings, staring out the window until he got to his apartment.
“I thought you’d be asleep,” he explained when he saw your confused face. “Didn’t want to rifle through your bag for your keys or wake you up. The spare bedroom has fresh sheets anyway.”
You nodded, practically catapulting yourself out of the car and into his building. The speed at which you trekked up to his place was impressive, especially in the shoes you’d chosen for the evening, and Max began to sweat. Had he done something wrong? Were you pissed he didn’t take you home?
When he unlocked his door, you ran straight to the guest bathroom and shut yourself in. Max was disoriented – you didn’t seem that drunk, and truthfully you were only ever quiet when you were asleep.
While you were in the bathroom, Max put a change of clothes and spare toiletries on your bed, slipping out when he heard the sink stop running.
You smiled when you saw the pile Max had left on your bed, suddenly feeling very ashamed for abruptly ignoring him. The TV was on in the living room and after changing, taking off your makeup, and brushing your teeth, you felt slightly more sober and a lot more guilty.
“Max?” you whispered, slinking into the living room to sit beside him on the couch. “Can I tell you one more secret?”
“Of course, you can always tell me anything.”
“Alec broke up with me because he thinks I’m in love with someone else.”
“Well, that’s crazy,” Max scoffs. “He must not want to tell you the real reason or didn’t have one so he made that up. I mean, what guys do you know that he’s even met? Peter? Another one of your friends’  boyfriends? You don’t even have that many close guy friends except me and - ”
Max cuts himself off, slowly turning to face you. He doesn’t think he’s breathing, blood rushing in his ears and a tightness starts to spread throughout his chest.
You have a sad smile on your face and your eyes are downcast, playing with the sleeves of the hoodie Max had given you.
“I don’t think I even realized until tonight,” you whispered. “Looking at you in the car, watching you laugh, how you were the only person I wanted to call and you dropped everything to come get me. It just kind of hit me – who Alec meant, why none of my relationships have ever worked out.”
Max scoots away from you, and suddenly it’s painful to breathe. There’s an ache in your chest that almost burns –  like someone’s waving a lighter back and forth over your heart, each time leaving the flame against you a little longer.
“You’re drunk, Y/N, you don’t know what you’re saying. Please, please don’t do this.”
When you look at his face, see the panic that’s masking heartache, you realize that he’s not moving away from you because he doesn’t feel the same.
He’s moving away because he does, and for how long, you don’t know – but the flame licks higher and higher until the burning reaches your throat when you understand that he thinks you’re too far gone to understand your own feelings.
“Max, I’m not – ”
He cuts you off, reaching out to cup your face with his hand. “In the morning. If you wake up, and you still want to have this conversation, I will listen.”
You nod and stand up from the couch, leaving him sitting under the glow of the television. The apartment feels colder as you walk towards the guest room, and when you stop to look back at him, his head is in his hands and it terrifies you. Max was the one person in this world that you could never lose – it would shatter you.
Sleep never came to you – tossing and turning in the plush pillows that you picked out because Max wanted you as comfortable as possible in his space. When the sun came up, you crept out of bed and didn’t stop until you were in front of Max’s door. You knocked twice, rocking back on forth on the balls of your feet.
The door opened within seconds – Max’s tired eyes showed that he got about as much sleep as you did.
“It’s morning,” you whispered.
“It is.”
“It’s morning and I still love you.”
He smiled at you, so big and so bright, it rivaled the Mediterranean summer sun. You wanted this moment captured forever – painted perfectly in a portrait done by the most highly esteemed artist in the world.
You threw your arms around his neck, sacrificing seeing the beauty of him to feel him in your arms. His soft breaths tickled your skin, and your giggles made him squeeze you even tighter.
“You don’t know how many mornings I’ve spent waiting to hear you say that.”
“You’ll never have to live through another one again, Max.”
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zegrasdrysdale · 3 months
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[ get you home ] m. rempe
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pairing : Matt Rempe x fem!reader
summary : Matt makes sure his best friend gets home safe after going out with him and a few of the Rangers after a win, but his plans change when she tells him how she feels about him
warning(s) : alcohol use and drunkenness, a heavy makeout, some suggestive comments
author’s note : got drunk so i started to write a fic and finished it while sober lol :))
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One of the things she loves about going out with Matt is the fact that he deters every guy from approaching her. Everyone views him as this scary guy because he’s a six-foot-seven hockey player but in reality, he’s probably the sweetest guy she’s ever met.
It works to her advantage though since she only ever wants to talk to him when she goes out with him.
Tonight in particular, she wants to stay glued to his side. He scored a goal in his playoff debut and all she wants to do is celebrate. She doesn’t want her attention to be pulled away from Matt.
The Rangers found a booth in a dark corner of the club they came to after game one against Washington and started buying drinks and shots for Matt after his goal that started this season’s playoff run.
She took so many shots with Matt when they first got to the club and kind of regrets it. She wanted to at least be coherent and remember her words when she tells Matt that she’s in love with him.
Tonight might not be the night to tell him though. She doesn't want him to think she's telling him because she's drunk or because he scored a goal.
Plus, she wants to be able to remember telling him and she isn't sure that's possible right now because of the amount of drinks and shots she's had. Tonight shouldn't be the night she tells her best friend that she's in love with him.
Once Trouba decides to leave, a bunch of the Rangers decide to follow him out the door. Once the captain leaves, that usually means whatever is going on is officially over. A lot of the older guys leave, but most of the younger guys like Matt and Braden stay for a little bit longer.
There are about three more rounds of shots before everyone else calls it a night. She stumbles out of the club holding onto Matt's arm so she doesn't fall on the sidewalk in her heels. She leans against his chest while he orders them an Uber to her apartment.
"Mm," she hums. "Comfy wall."
Matt laughs and wraps an arm around her shoulders to keep her stable. "You're so drunk," he comments. "How much have you had to drink?"
"A little less than you," she replies. "I think. How are you not stumbling after everything you've had today?"
He tucks his phone into the pocket of the pants he's wearing. "I'm a foot taller than you and over a hundred pounds heavier than you," he laughs. "Not to mention I have a faster metabolism and can handle my liquor. It's not my fault you're so short."
She looks up at him. "Hey, five-foot-six is not short," she retorts. "You're just freaking tall ." Matt laughs. "Out here having fucking trees for legs like God damn, Matt."
A car pulls up in front of them and Matt helps her get in the car. "Me and my tree legs are trying to get you home safely," he tells her. "You better be nice to me or I'm gonna leave you to get to your apartment by yourself."
"You'd never do that to me," she giggles. "You like me too much."
Matt slides into the car next to her and she immediately moves as close as she can to him. She rests her head on his shoulder before she shuts her eyes. Being drunk and being in a car is not the best combination. She'll gladly use Matt's shoulder as a pillow until they get to her apartment building. They're a good fifteen minutes away so she has time.
The Uber driver realizes who got into the backseat of his car so he and Matt talk about the game. The driver mentions Matt's goal and says what an amazing goal it was. She doesn't say anything but she agrees a thousand percent.
His goal was a beauty. It's something that he'll never forget for sure. She'll never forget celebrating it when it happened. Hearing his name announced during the next play will be something she'll remember hearing forever.
She listens to the conversation and smiles while they talk about the game. She doesn't chime in because she's afraid to open her eyes. The last thing she wants to do is throw up in an Uber.
About fifteen minutes later, the Uber pulls up to her apartment. The driver wishes Matt luck during the rest of the playoffs as he helps her out of the car. She thanks him as Matt shuts the door. Matt wraps an arm around her and helps her into the building.
As she walks through the lobby, she stumbles and loses her balance. With a groan, she slides out of Matt's grip and lands on the floor to pull off he heeled boots that she's wearing. "Stupid shoes," she says to herself. Matt laughs and holds a hand out to help her up when she is ready to stand back up.
"Why did you even wear heels to the game?" he asks as he pulls her up from the ground. "I mean, it's a hockey game."
"I wanted to look nice and dress up the jersey," she replies. Matt lent her his Stadium Series jersey. She might have to wear it for every game now since he scored a goal while she was wearing it. "Sorry I wanted to look nice. Good thing too since we went out afterwards."
It's easier for her to walk now that her feet are flat on the ground. She carries the shoes onto the elevator, where she leans against the wall for support.
"Are you still super drunk?" Matt asks. "I'm asking because I need to know if you'll be okay if I leave."
"We'll see," she mumbles as she drops her head to her left to look at him. "Can you stay anyway? Just in case?"
He nods and smiles as the elevator dings and the doors open.
She stumbles down the hallway to her apartment, dropping one of the shoes in the process. Matt picks it up and she uses her key to unlock the door. Somehow, she gets the door open, but she stumbles inside. Matt quickly wraps an arm around her waist before she can go crashing down to the floor.
The door closes behind them and she looks up at him. "Thanks," she says.
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna stay," he comments. "You just fell into your apartment." She giggles and stands back up. Matt wraps an arm around her shoulders. "Come on. Do you want to shower or anything before you go to bed? Want a snack? You're going to drink at least one glass of water before going to bed."
She looks up at him and says, "I should probably shower since I got a drink spilled on my pants." That was Cuylle's fault and she wasn't very happy that she smelled like beer for the rest of the time they were at the club.
"I'll get him to apologize for that tomorrow when he's sober," Matt tells her. "For now though, bath or shower? Think you can shower?"
"I think I can shower," she replies. "A cold one might sober me up a bit. Some of the clothes that you've left here are all in a drawer if you want to pull something together, or I can give you this jersey since it's technically yours."
Matt smiles and shakes his head. "That jersey is yours now," he says. "I'll find something. Go shower the beer smell away."
She sticks her tongue out at him and stumbles her way to her room. She pulls out a large t-shirt and a pair of slightly too small Lululemon shorts to sleep in before walking into the bathroom for her shower.
The water is ice cold in hopes that it sobers her up enough for the conversation that's going to happen after her shower. She wants to make sure she remembers the entire conversation and whatever she says to Matt. She wants to remember his reaction and what he tells her when she tells him about her feelings.
It's going to go really well or really bad. She has no idea how it's going to go. He may just tell her that it's bad timing since the playoffs just started, or he'll fully embrace it. Maybe he'll tell her that he feels the same.
The unknown is what scares her.
After a short and sweet shower where she only washes her hair and body, she hops out and dries off. She shivers from how cold it was and dresses quickly.
When she walks out of the bathroom with her wet hair French braided down her back, she finds Matt laying on his back on her bed on his phone. He's typing away, probably replying to people that he didn't get to yet about his goal or the win. He's wearing a pair of sweatpants and one of his Rangers hockey shirts that he found in the drawer.
Matt notices her standing in the doorway between the bedroom and her bathroom. "There's a glass of water on your table," he tells her. "I left some Advil for you too for the morning."
Just rip off the bandaid. It's time to get this over with.
"I have something I want to say first in case it chases you off," she tells him. "I don't know what your reaction is going to be when I say this but ... I love you."
"I love you too."
"No, Matt," she sighs. "I'm in love with you. I have been for months, maybe close to a year at this point. I know my timing isn't the best but I couldn't not tell you anymore. I'm not saying this because you scored a goal or because you won a playoff game or because I'm still slightly drunk but I am genuinely in love with you."
He stares at her while she talks, but as soon as she's done saying what she has to say, Matt gets up out of bed and walks up to her. "I knew what you meant," he comments. "I've been waiting for you to say something to me before I did this."
"Do wha-"
Before she can finish her question, Matt gently cups her jaw and leans down to press a light kiss to her lips. It's so light that she feels like he's just testing the waters.
It barely feels like a kiss when he pulls back.
She takes a step closer to him and looks up at him. "Can you please kiss me like you mean it?" she questions.
"Gladly."
He crashes their lips together in a more definitive kiss that makes her heart beat out of her chest. She presses herself against him and fists his t-shirt in her hand to hold him close to her. Matt's thumbs trace her cheekbones and she sighs. He takes full advantage and licks past her parted lips.
She presses her hands against his torso and pushes him toward the bed. She has to tilt her head up to kiss him and it's starting to hurt her neck. So she pushes him down until he falls back and is sitting on the mattress. She crawls onto his lap so they're at a more even level.
This isn't the reaction that she was expecting. Maybe Matt saying that he loves her too or some cuddles. She thought that kisses would wait until morning when they're both completely sober.
That being said, this is what she thought their first kiss would look like. Rough, needy. She kisses him like she craves him, and he kisses her back like he's been holding back. She's seen Matt kiss former girlfriends before and studied the way his lips move, but experiencing it is something completely different.
Her heart is in her stomach and her body shakes with anticipation. She truly cannot believe that this is happening right now.
She slides her hands down his chest and stomach then slithers her fingers up under his shirt. Matt hums and pulls back from the needy kiss. “Clothes are staying on until we’re both sober,” he tells her. She nods but is very distracted by how red and swollen his lips are.
All because of her.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t touch,” she replies. “I’ll be good. I promise.”
Matt sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and looks her up and down in his lap. She reaches up with one of her hands and touches one of the scars on his cheek. He turns his head and presses a kiss to her wrist.
He trails kisses up her forearm and she smiles as he pulls her flush against his chest. She wraps her arms around his neck and Matt flips them so he’s pinning her down against the mattress.
She smiles and looks up at him. “You do know that I love you too, right?” Matt asks. “I mean, I knew what you meant when you told me that you love me. The timing couldn’t have been any better because I thought I was going to genuinely lose my mind if I held back from you any longer.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” Matt replies. “I love you. I think I’ve loved you for literally ever. I probably realized it in February when you were in the crowd for my NHL debut. Seeing you in that jersey tonight, oh my God. I thought I was going to actually lose it at the club.”
She smiles and grabs the bottom of his shirt. She fists the fabric and holds him close. “You could’ve made a move whenever you wanted and I probably would’ve been okay with it,” she admits. “I hated seeing you with random girls or old girlfriends. They never wanted you like I do.”
“I know,” he says. “I think I see that now. I’ve had a few girlfriends, but none of them have stuck around like you have.”
“By your side always,” she promises.
Matt leans down and kisses her again. The kiss almost feels like her sealing the promise.
Because she’ll never leave his side. Ever.
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woso-dreamzzz · 6 months
Text
Bonding
Arsenal Women x Hardersson!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Bonding night with the Arsenal girls
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You're dressed in your special Auntie Stina Arsenal jersey as she assures your Morsa that everything is going to be okay.
Momma and Morsa have a special awards night thing that they have to make an appearance at so Auntie Stina is babysitting you. Your usual babysitters in Zećira and Jessie are busy tonight too so Auntie Stina gets to take you to Arsenal bonding night.
You're very excited and it's all you've been thinking about all week.
Momma and Morsa say goodbye to you and you instantly run up to Stina's car so she can get you clipped in and you can get to Captain Kim's house faster.
"Look who it is!"
Katie's waiting for you both by the door and she swings you up easily onto her hip and tugs at your jersey teasingly.
"A true gunner in the making! You'll play for us when you're older, right?"
You nod. "Yes!"
"Even if your mams want you to play for Chelsea?"
You pull a face, sticking out your tongue. "Not-Wolfsburg sucks!"
Katie laughs, delighted, as she gives you a high five. "That sounds right." She lets you climb down and scarper inside, toeing off your shoes in the entrance hall before following the sounds of music and talking further inside the house.
"Hi, Captain Kim!" You say when you see her," What's happenin'?"
Captain Kim laughs, her hand coming to rest of your shoulder as Jen wrestles with Beth on the floor.
"They're just being silly," She tells you," And trying to knock all of my things on the floor."
As if to prove the point, Beth crashes into a little side table with an ornamental vase wobbles precariously as she launches herself straight back at Jen.
"You should tell them off," You say," That's what my Morsa does when Erin and Guro are being silly in a dangerous way. She's the Captain like you're the Captain so you can tell them off if you want."
Kim laughs slightly. "That's a good idea. Captains do get to tell people off. Do you want to help me?"
"I'm not a captain though."
"But you are the big boss. I think that means you've got some captain powers too."
"Really?"
She nods. "Really."
"Okay!"
Captain Kim leads you over to where Beth and Jen are still wrestling. She whistles, shrill and high pitched and exactly the one Morsa uses when she needs to get Erin and Guro's attention.
"Stop wrestling in my house!" She orders before lightly nudging you.
"Yeah!" You say," 'Cause you're going to break something and then Captain Kim is going to make you do laps!"
From behind you, Katie chuckles.
"Yeah, you two!" She teases," Listen to Kim and the big boss!"
"Yeah!" You agree, stamping your foot so they know you're serious.
"Sorry, y/n," Jen laughs," We'll stop."
"Good," You say," Or else you'll have to run laps tomorrow."
You shriek as you're lifted into someone's arms. You're flipped upside down as Leah's hands attack your sides.
"Look at you!" She laughs as you shriek and try to wiggle away. "Little captain in the making!"
"My mummies are captains!" You say when she finally puts you the right way up.
"You've got it in your blood!" Leah proclaims, tickling your sides again," Me and Kim'll make you into a proper captain though! Arsenal style, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
You think Arsenal bonding night is a lot of fun.
Katie helps you make a pizza where you put your pepperoni slices in a crude rendition of the Arsenal badge and she takes lots of pictures of you winning at Twister.
You end up sat between Auntie Stina and Beth for dinner as Auntie Lina selects a movie for you all to watch while you eat.
"Beth?" You ask.
"Yeah?"
"Can we call Daan? I miss her at Arsenal."
Beth laughs, already digging out her phone. "I think quite a few fans would agree with you."
The phone rings a few times before Daan's face fills the screen. Daan is a very happy person, you think, because she's always smiling when she sees you. You smile too.
"Hey, y/n!" She says," What're you doing on Beth's phone?"
"Callin' you!" You answer," Auntie Stina brought me to bonding because my mummies are busy!"
"Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I beat Leah and Captain Kim at Twister! I got chocolate as a prize!"
Daan laughs. "Good! Keep them humble!"
You giggle too. "Is Lyon fun like Arsenal?" You ask.
"It's fun," Daan replies," But I'm still learning the language. I'm sure it'll be more fun when I can speak French properly."
You nod wisely. "That's like when I came from Germany. I only knew a little English so I had to learn so I could have fun."
"It's exactly like that," Daan says," Hey, who knows, maybe you'll have to learn French too when you're older."
You think about that for a moment. You know when you're older, you really want to play for Wolfsburg. Arsenal too and maybe Barcelona as well but you'd never really thought about Lyon. You already know German and English so having fun at Wolfsburg and Arsenal should be easy.
If you went to Barcelona then you would have to learn Spanish. If you went to Lyon then you would have to learn French.
Your Momma tells you that you're very good at languages. She says she's always impressed by how easily you pick it up. Sometimes, she calls you a little chameleon because you speak your English like you were born here rather than with an accent like she and Morsa do.
You don't think it'll be too difficult to learn French if you went to Lyon.
Daan stays on the call for a bit longer before promising to send you her Lyon jersey and you migrate from Beth and Auntie Stina to the floor with Leah and Katie.
You drag a blanket with you, tucking it around both of them like you do when you have sleepytime with Jessie and Niamh. The movie is still playing but you're a little tired so you lean heavily into Leah and kick you feet up into Katie's lap.
You yawn.
"You tired, kid?" Katie asks and you nod.
"Gonna finish the movie though."
Leah chuckles, the force of it rocking your whole body as she softly cards her fingers through your hair. "I'm sure you will."
You're out like a light before the second act begins.
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sometimesanalice · 2 years
Text
What’s In a Name?
Summary: Bradley really loves the way you say his name. At the grocery store. At the bar. In his bed.
Warnings: fuff, and so much smut. Minors DNI
Length: 9K
Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw X Female Reader
(This is a one-shot for my ‘Like I Can’ series. You don’t need to read it first, but you might want to. It’s pretty cute! You can check it out here!)
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Bradley loved hearing you say his name. 
He’d gone almost two years without hearing it. Back when he was ‘Rooster’ or ‘Bradshaw’ to you. Back when you weren’t sure how you would fit into the life he had built in San Diego when you had moved there for a promotion. Now he made it a priority to show you just how seamlessly your lives fit together, to remind you just how right you were for each other.
There were times when he still couldn’t believe that he was able to have you so entirely. You went from being just his closest childhood friend to being his everything. And now that he had you there was nothing he liked more than the sound of his name coming from your lips. 
He loved hearing it every chance he could. 
He’d never come so hard has he had the first time he’d heard you chanting his name over and over again as he’d fucked you in his bed. Your hair had been a riot on his pillow, your lips swollen from the attention he’d given them with his own. He’d just barely gotten you over the edge before he’d followed, so overwhelmed by your sweet voice so needy and breathy in his ear.
BradleyBradleyBradley
He had even changed his contact information in your phone from ‘Rooster’ to ‘Bradley’ one lazy Sunday afternoon when you had been dozing on his chest, adding a little sparkly heart next to it for good measure. In general, he wasn’t much of an emoji user, but he thought you might find it cute when you discovered it. He was very pleased with himself months later when he realized you’d never changed it back, pink sparkly heart and all.
He loved hearing you say his name at the grocery store. 
He had gone off to find his favorite brand of protein powder, the store had recently rearranged their health food section and he could never remember where it was stocked. He didn’t want to drag you around on the scavenger hunt, especially when he knew you’d rather be doing anything else than grocery shopping.
Once he had it, he’d tried a few different aisles before finding you standing near the baking things and spices, he would have recognized your curves in those jeans anywhere.
You were chatting away with an elderly woman like you were a pair of old friends. It didn’t surprise him, since you’d always been the type that strangers had gravitated towards, your warm energy apparent to who crossed paths with you.
Walking up to you, he put the powder in the cart with the items you had accumulated while he had been wandering the same three aisles over and over again before he found what he was looking for near the bottom shelf.
“Bradley!” you greeted turning towards him beaming, your smile pure sunshine, before cheerily spinning back to the older woman, “See, I knew he’d find us eventually.”
“And he’s just as handsome as you said,” your new friend replied, giving him the once over.
“Yes, he is. Very handsome and very tall,” you told her with a teasing lilt in your tone, glancing back over your shoulder to send him a wink.
He’d happily be objectified by anyone you wanted, including elderly women wearing fuzzy purple sweaters, just as long as it meant you were bragging about him to them. That they knew he was yours, and you were his.
“How can me and my six-foot-two-inch self be of assistance to you ladies?” he asked, putting on his most winning smile. It couldn’t be said that he wouldn’t commit to a bit when the opportunity was presented.
“Can you reach Ruth a couple of those containers of Hungarian paprika, please?” you asked him while pointing to the red and green tins on the top shelf.
He was glad you had waited for him. They were so pushed back that there’s no way you would have been able to reach them on your own without climbing on the bottom shelf for a boost. 
Safety first and all that, but also, he wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see the way your shirt would have ridden up your back. The dimples at the base of your spine were for his eyes only.
“Of course, I am at your service,” he pressed a quick kiss to your temple before stepping around the cart to grab the spice for the older woman. 
“Oh, and then maybe one for us too, Bradley. I’ve never tried making Hungarian Goulash before. You’ve made it sound so good, that now I think I have to.”
“If you want to make it, mine is the number one reviewed recipe for the dish on AllRecipes,” Ruth boasted, there was no hiding the pride in her voice. 
He hands Ruth the tins he had grabbed, and passes the other one to you to add to the collection in the shopping cart. 
“But what I left out is that I always use this specific brand of paprika, and that I make mine with half pork and half beef. I save that tidbit for friends and family, I couldn’t just give all of my secrets away to the internet people.” 
That had you laughing, “So sneaky, I love it! Thank you for sharing your secrets with us. Sounds like we know what we’re having for dinner tonight.” 
You were already opening pulling the recipe up on your phone for later. 
“I’m looking forward to it, especially since we know the tricks of the trade now.”
His eyes catch on the overflowing hand basket resting near the older woman’s worn Birkenstock mules. It looked heavy, almost like she didn’t originally plan on getting as many things as she ended up with.
“Can I carry that for you? Or if you have more shopping to do, I would be happy to go and get a cart for you,” he asks, gesturing to her overloaded basket.
“Oh no, those were the last things on my list,” Ruth replies, waving off his offer, “My youngest daughter is having her 50th birthday and the whole family is having a get together. I thought doubling my recipe would be fine, but I decided last minute to triple it.” 
She bends down to reach for it, but he beats her to it. His mom raised him right.
“No, ma’am, I insist.” He’s pretty sure he catches you checking out his ass when he stands back up, “I’ll be right back, sweet girl. Stay out of trouble.” 
He holds out his other arm for Ruth to take so he can escort her to the front of the store to pay.
“I don’t find trouble, it always seems to find me,” you joked.
“I believe that,” chimes Ruth.
He turns back to get a look at you, and sees you bringing your hand up to your forehead to mimic a full swoon.
He just smiles and shakes his head at you and your antics. Such a brat.
He helps Ruth at the check-out unloading the basket onto the conveyer belt, and then carries her packed grocery bags to her car getting them settled in her trunk. 
Once they’ve parted ways, he heads back inside to find you.
You’re standing in front of the cooler with all the dips and fresh salsas, your head cocked to the side as you deliberate your choices.
What he also notices as he makes his way to you is that you’ve caught the attention of another man, one who should be paying more attention to his bagged lettuce instead of eyeing his girlfriend. 
Sneaking up behind you, he wraps his arms around your middle lifting you up off the ground.
“Bradley! Oh my god, seriously?” He can’t help but laugh at how startled you are, he’s pretty sure if you were wearing pearls you’d be clutching them right now. 
“Here I thought you were a gentleman, helping sweet Ruth with her groceries. It’s rude to sneak up on innocent and unsuspecting women,” you protest trying to twist out of his arms once he has set you back down.
“Ah, don’t be like that,” he settles his hands on your hips pulling you back to his chest, letting his fingers slide through your belt loops, before lowering his voice, “Unsuspecting, maybe. But innocent? There wasn’t anything innocent the blowjob you gave me in the Bronco outside the Hard Deck last night.”
He knows the shiver that goes through your body isn’t from the cold case you are both standing in front of.
Looking over to his left, he sees the man who was checking you out putting down the bag of spinach in his hands. And he is hit with a feeling of smug satisfaction watching as the guy quickly wheels his empty cart out of the section completely.
“No getting handsy by the hummus, Bradley,” you tut, still set on giving him the cold shoulder, but the way you lean back against him gives you away, “Should we get that lemon beet kind again?” 
“Whatever you want, kid,” he murmured against your neck. “Plus, the word on the street is that you think I’m handsome, so that’s got to count for something.”
When you pull away from him this time, he lets you go. Getting a glimpse of the skin above the top of your jeans as you reach up to grab the square container of hummus.
You set it in the cart looking back at him as you toss your hair over your shoulder, before primly stating, “Oh, and Bradley, if you’re going to quote me I do believe I said you were very handsome.” 
And with that final word, you push off with the cart meandering to towards the fruit section, the sensual sway of your hips he knows is just for him.
He especially loved the way your voice sounded when you’d just woken up, when his name was one of the first words out of your mouth to start a new day.
There was nothing Bradley liked better than the nights you spent together in the same bed. It didn’t matter if it was his place or yours, just as long as he was able to wake up to find you warm and tucked away under his arm. 
“G’morning Bradley,” you’d whisper, voice soft and sleepy, a little raspy from disuse, as you turned to nestle closer burrowing your face in his neck.  He knew you liked a gentle wake up, and he was more than happy to trail his fingers along your back until you woke up a bit more. 
He was always up before you, his internal alarm clock permanently altered from his time in the Navy. For as much as you claimed to be a morning person, you were always the one snoozing yours in favor for spending a few more minutes in bed. It wasn’t something he’d ever expected to learn about you, and he liked being the one who got to share those intimately domestic moments with you.
The only surefire way to get you out of bed and moving on those mornings was the suggestion of hot coffee-- that or the promise of his mouth. 
He loved the way you said his name when you were surprised. 
When he’d gone to that furniture store you liked, his only plans were to find a new larger dresser for his bedroom. He had claimed he needed more space for his stuff, but really, he wanted there to be more room for you to keep your things at his place.
The home stylist at the store not only helped him pick out a new dresser he thought you’d approve of, but also convinced him to also purchase the matching king-sized canopy bed frame and set of nightstands. 
He was told the mood was “cozy mid-century chic”, whatever that meant.
Bradley knows he runs hot, you’ve told him enough times that he’s like a furnace. So when the stylist showed him the cloudlike and breathable comforter along with the 800-thread count white cotton sheets, he had them add that to his collection too.
You still wouldn’t move in with him, but he was working on it. He knew he’d reel you in soon enough. And if it took a payment plan, so be it. 
Although, he could only blame himself for the new lamps and giant rug he also purchased. He’d gotten a little swept up in the salesperson’s enthusiasm. 
Hopefully that guy got commission, he deserved every dollar. 
It had hurt a bit when he swiped his credit card, but it was worth it to hear the way you said his name when you saw it all for the first time after it had been delivered and assembled.
“Oh my god, Bradley!” you laughed, “I thought you said you were just getting a new dresser. Did you buy the whole store?” 
“What can I say? The salesperson was very good at his job, sweet girl,” he was trying to not let his leg bounce as he waited for you to say more. A little nervous now that he’d gone overboard and missed the mark, “Do you like it?”
“It’s absolutely perfect, Bradley,” you gushed as you slowly made your way around the room taking it all in. “It’s warm, it’s classic, it’s cozy. It feels like you. You’re going to have a hard time getting me to leave now, I love it in here.”
That was all he wanted.
He felt all the tension leave his body, grinning as he watched you sit down on the bed running your hand over the soft deep green duvet. It had become his favorite color the second he’d seen you in that green dress the night at the seaside restaurant when he’d told you how he felt about you.
“So, do you want to help me break it in?” he asked, pushing off from where he had been leaning against the doorframe and sauntered towards you. 
The way you slowly reclined back on the bed, your lips turned up in a mischievous smile was an answer in itself. 
He loved the sound of you saying his name at the Hard Deck.
Your voice was so familiar to him that he could pick it out anywhere. He was so attuned to the way you said his name that he could be in a conversation with someone in the noisy bar, but his ears would perk up if you said his name in a passing comment. 
It was like he was hearing his friends talk with one ear, while the other was always listening for you.
He could be with Mav catching up and chatting about the new plane he was working on, until:
“Yeah, I could use another one, let me see if Bradley needs one really quick and then I’ll go up with you.”
And then he would find himself standing next to you at the bar. 
He could be playing around of nine-ball with Hangman, until:
“No, you’re kidding me! There’s no way you caught Coyote doing that, has Bradley heard this one before? Oh my god, you have to tell him.”
And then he would find himself abandoning his cue on the pool table. 
“What the fuck, Bradshaw? You can’t just quit because I’m kicking your ass,” Jake would shout at him as he made his way towards you.
After all, you’d said his name and now he was curious.
He could be at the jukebox trying to find something better to put on than whatever terrible song Fanboy had picked, until:
“Oh! Bradley knows how to play that one, let’s see if we can bribe him to go perform it. I doubt we’ll have to try very hard, he’s such a little show off.”
And then he would find himself seated at the piano.
To everyone else he was ‘Rooster’, ‘Bradshaw’, ‘Lieutenant’, and soon to be ‘Lieutenant Commander’. 
To you he was Bradley. 
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Seeing Bradley seated at the piano was a normal sight for you.
Since being permanently stationed in San Diego, he’d had all of the things from his storage locker shipped over, including his Dad’s old upright. He liked to play in the evening to decompress after his day and you liked to watch.
There was something about the way his large fingers moved over the keys so gracefully that was always so mesmerizing to you.
You still remembered how embarrassed he would get all those times when your moms would beg him to put on an impromptu piano recital. Usually fueled by a couple too many glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon, you realized later on. 
Your mom and Carole had definitely been the “Wine Moms” at the baseball and tennis games they’d sat through in support of you and Bradley.
He would get a little sulky in the way that all self-conscious teens got, but he could never hold out for very long before pulling out the wooden piano bench. Bradley wasn’t one to purposefully disappoint his mom, their relationship special in the way that only a single parent and an only child could understand.
Once he realized it was a good way to get noticed by the girls in high school, he’d been quick to change his tune. And now it was clear he reveled the attention it got him when he sat down and started tapping out a carefree riff before launching into a song, all preening posturing and smug smiles.
You were usually right next to Bradley when he put on a show, an arm wrapped around his shoulder, always one to want a front row seat to see him in action.
Tonight the bar was a bit more packed than usual. It took a little longer to move around, and a little longer for Penny to make your drink since you had opted for something slightly more complicated than a beer.
Slowly, but surely, you wove your way through the crowd. Careful to avoid any stray elbows to avoid jostling your full drink as you made your way back to your friends where they were gathered around the ancient upright. You were nearly there when a burly man stepped around you, giving you a clear view of Bradley playing. 
And you were stopped short by the picture in front of you.
The performance he was currently putting on at the Hard Deck was different than anything he did at his own home. His leg bouncing in tempo as he shimmied perched on the piano bench, like it’s a struggle for him to be contained to one spot.
He was captivating in the way that he commanded the room. 
Maybe it was the way the way the muscles of his forearms were flexing as his fingers were precisely flying over the discolored keys.
Maybe it was the way the light sheen of sweat was collecting in the hollow of his collarbone.
Or maybe it was the way the veins were standing out against his neck, the way the thick tendon that ran along his throat had you transfixed as he threw his head back to sing at the top of his lungs. 
His sunglasses were sliding down his nose as his head bobbed between glancing down at his hands and scanning the room. He smiled when his eyes found yours over the top of his aviators. Your hand tightened around the glass in your hand, the condensation dripping down your wrist as you stood there and watched. 
You weren’t sure if it was your imagination or the tequila you’d been sipping on all night, but it seemed like he was working the keys of the piano a little harder, a little faster as he held your gaze. 
And then his tongue was slipping out. Just a bit, and just for you.
Thankfully no one could hear the way your breath hitched in your throat over the sound of everyone in the bar singing along. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so turned on. 
The intensity of Bradley’s heated gaze, the way his body was moving, the way you wanted to crawl in his lap and lick the taut line of his neck and taste the salt of his skin right there in front of everyone.
You probably looked as desperate as you were feeling, because his easygoing smile turned more knowing every second your eyes stayed locked.  
“I’ll be right back,” you said to no one in particular as you abandoned your spicy margarita on the nearest surface to make your escape.
You felt like you were about to vibrate out of your skin.
It was easier to slipping away to the bathroom than had been trying to reach Bradley in front of the stage, needing a moment to yourself out of his heady orbit.
Locking the door behind you, you lean against the worn wood that was littered with stickers that had been collected and brought back from around the world. You try breathing in and out a few times, the way you’ve learned to do at your expensive yoga classes, in an attempt to slow down the rapid pounding in your chest. Actively trying to not think about the way he looked at you.
There was no question in your mind that you suffered from an incurable Bradley kink. Now that you could let yourself revel in all sorts of unfriendly thoughts about him, everything he did was a turn on for you.
You had a sneaking suspicion that he might have one too. His eyes always a got a bit more heated, and his hands would grip you a little tighter when you said it. 
You knew that if you were to slip your fingers past the waistband of the dainty lace underwear you had just bought that you would find yourself wet. 
And for a moment, you’re tempted to do just that. To let your fingers skim up your thigh, along the scalloped edge of the panties you’d bought specifically with Bradley in mind, to think of him as you slide your fingers inside of yourself. 
You’re feeling so high-strung that you know it wouldn’t take long to come. It wouldn’t be the first time you would have used the bathroom at the Hard Deck to get off.
Your hand is halfway under your sundress, when you hear the chanting:
Roo-ster! Roo-ster! Roo-ster!
In your mind’s eye, you can picture him standing behind the piano doing his version of a touchdown dance. 
You’ve teased him about it before, calling him a “slutty little songbird”, which he didn’t deny. He thrives off the attention, and you can’t say you mind watching him do that sexy little shimmy he is so fond of. 
You also don’t mind helping him find other ways to work off the post-performance high.
Knowing that he will probably be looking for you now that he’s done, you smooth down the skirt of your dress with shaky hands and make your way to the sink.
Standing in front of the dingy mirror, you can see just how much a wreck your appearance actually is. Your cheeks look warm, your lips are slightly swollen from Penny’s special spicy margarita mix, and your eyes have that certain wild gleam in them that only Bradley brings out in you.
You turn the cold tap on, and stick your wrists under the running water. Hoping the cool water on your pulse points will help ease the heat that is spreading under your skin.
While the chanting has stopped now, you can still hear the lively sounds of the packed bar. Figuring it’s alright to leave the safe confines of the tiny bathroom, you turn off the water and dry your hands, determined to not let anyone see just how riled up you were.
You’re barely five steps outside of the bathroom, when a strong arm wraps around your waist.
“Hey, kid.”
And just like that your heart is racing out of control again. His woodsy smell paired with the faint hit of sweat has your brain going fuzzy. 
“You doin’ ok?” he rasps against the shell of your ear. He has you pulled against his warm, broad chest and you can feel the echoes of his question reverberate throughout your whole body.
You pull out of his grasp to turn and face him, taking a small step backwards towards the wall.
“Uh-huh, yeah. Everything is fine,” you ramble, nodding your head as you try to avoid looking in his honey brown eyes.
“You sure about that?” he asks taking a step towards you, which has you retreating another one back. “Thought I should check on you since you disappeared there for a bit.”
“Just you know,” you trail off briefly glancing at him and gesturing pathetically towards the bathroom like that explains your clearly unusual behavior. 
“Mm-hmm, sure,” he allows, his head tilting to the side as he observes you. 
You know the exact moment when he realizes what’s going on by the way his cheek twitches as he tries to control the wolfish smile he is fighting back. And you’re suddenly feeling very much like his prey when he presses forward again. This time when you step back you feel the wall against your back as he crowds into your space.
“We should probably go back,” you stutter out when he cages you in with one hand above your head.
“Maybe,” he muses, tracing his thumb along your lower lip, “You sure you don’t want to tell me what’s got you so ruffled?”
The way he is looking at you, the way he feels against you, it’s all too much.
“Bradley.” 
You don’t know what you were trying to sound like when you said his name, but there’s no missing the neediness in your voice.
“Yeah, I thought so,” he murmurs, his voice rough and low. He takes your hand in his, guiding you to his zipper, letting you feel him through his jeans. “You got me all worked up too, sweet girl.” 
The sound you make is lands somewhere between a wheeze and a whimper.
“C’mon, let’s get out of here.”
He doesn’t wait for a response before he has you leading the way up to the bar, using your body to hide his hard on as he pays. Not even bothering to wave goodbye to your group of friends as he hustles you to the Bronco. 
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He definitely broke the speed limit and a couple minor traffic laws on the drive back trying to get you home to his place.
You had looked so flushed when he had been pounding away at the keys of the upright at the Hard Deck, and you had dashed away abandoning your freshly made drink. He might have sped up the tempo to wrap it up faster so that he could check on you, worried for a moment that you might have caught a bug or food poisoning or something. 
That was until he caught you outside of the bathroom, and saw just how flustered you’d been and he knew.
It took everything in him not to push you back into the tiny bathroom and have his way with you right then and there. He was hit with an image bending you over the sink, and showing you just how good you looked coming around his cock.
However, a hot and dirty quickie at the Hard Deck wouldn’t have been enough for him.
He knew exactly how he wanted you: flustered, flushed, and thoroughly fucked.
So yeah, he floored the gas pedal needing to feel your body under his as soon as possible.  And it didn’t hurt that it probably cleared out some of the engine build up in the Bronco along the way either. 
He pressed you against the door the second you’d gotten inside, letting you rock your hips against his thigh as he sucked along the curve of your collarbone. Your hands coming up to tug at the curls at the top of his head.
“U-upstairs,” you gasp when he grazes his teeth along the swell of your breast.
You didn’t need to tell him twice. 
He lifts you up, and your legs wrap around him immediately. It had taken all of his will power not to slip his hands up your frilly dress at the Hard Deck. He loved any chance to he got to get his hands on your ass.
He almost misses the first step going up the stairs when you drag your hot mouth along his neck.
“Wait, wait,” you pant in his ear, “Put me down.” 
“It’s fine, I got you,” he promises as he tightens his grip on you.
You pull away and shake your head at him, “I don’t want either of us to end up in the Emergency Room for a sex related accident. Could you imagine? Jake would never let us live it down, and Nat would be worse.”
“It’d be worth it though,” he winks at you.
“You say that now, until you’re stuck in a neck brace unable to fly or have sex,” you admonish jokingly, stroking the side of his throat with the scars he earned from that night at Jason Cameron’s homecoming party.
“Yeah, but you could still ride me. The way I see it, it’s a win-win either way,” he chuckles at the exasperated way you roll your eyes.
“You’re handsome, but I don’t think even you could pull off the color of those hospital gowns,” you quip with a quick peck to his lips, “Now, hands off the goods.”
Giving your ass one more squeeze, he lets you slide down his body. He may not have his hands on you anymore, but it doesn’t stop him from admiring your figure as you bound up the stairs in front of him. 
He stops short at the threshold of his bedroom at the sight of you pulling your dress over your head. Of all your soft skin on display for him.
There were times he still couldn’t believe he got to have you like this.
How did he think it could have ever just been a friendship with you?
He liked how comfortable you were in this space with him, liked how perfectly your things fit in with his. 
He liked knowing that one of the pillows on the bed smelled like you.
He liked knowing that if he went in the bathroom he would find your expensive shampoo and conditioner in there next to his. 
He liked knowing that if he opened the drawer on one of the nightstands that he would find your lip balm, your lavender lotion, a vibrator from your place that had found a home here, and a notebook and pen in case you needed to remember to do something because you didn’t like having your phone in bed.
What he currently liked most about his bedroom was the way your dress was decorating the floor, and the way you were kneeling on his bed like a vision.
You were wearing a matching pale pink lace set he’d never seen before. Your skin was peeking through the floral embroidery of the sheer mesh in an all too enticing way.
You were his sweet girl.
“Come here,” you beckon, inching closer to the edge of the wooden canopy bed. 
He’s not one to deny you, he’d willingly go wherever you wanted. He saunters in towards you slowly, putting on a bit of a show for you as he comes to stand before you.
“I like this, it’s pretty,” he hums as he runs his knuckles slowly over the edge of the embroidered cups, enjoying the way you lean further into him. 
Cupping your jaw, he pulls you forward for a lingering kiss. Being this close to you, the smell of your musky floral perfume is intensifying thumping of his pulse. 
Your hands slide under his Hawaiian print shirt, helping to ease it off his body and then tossing it somewhere near your dress. You ruck the tank he has underneath up his chest and he reaches down to pull it over his head as your hands run over the ridges of his abs.
His body has been humming for yours since the bar. The hurried encounter at the door barely managed to take any of the edge off, and he was still just as starved for you as he had been when he saw you holding that drink looking at him like he was something to be devoured. 
His left hand moves from where it’s been settled on the flare of your hip and up your back to the clasp of your pretty bra.
He’s been letting you take the lead, but you’re not nearly naked enough for him. 
“Hands to yourself,” you mutter as you work to get his belt undone, “I’m trying to get you naked you here.”
Part of him wants to take his time with you, to take you apart slowly and see what new sounds he can uncover. The other part of him wants to have you holding onto that rich espresso colored headboard while he shows you just how much he appreciates you wearing this little set just for him.
“You like my hands,” he murmurs against your neck. He is quick to unhook the clasp of your bra with one hand, easing it down your arms and flinging it behind him.
Yet another offering to his bedroom floor. 
And then he is trailing his fingers down your soft stomach, dipping them under the band of your matching panties. 
He groans when he discovers you’re already wet for him. He finds your clit, and teases you there making gentle figure-eights with his finger, “Got yourself so worked up you couldn’t even stick around for the end of the damn song, huh?”
You’re quick to abandon your crusade against his favorite pair of jeans, leaving him unbuckled and half unzipped, as you circle your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you.
“God, your fingers feel so much better than mine,” you sigh against his mouth as he licks his lips before bringing them back to yours.
Your full lips soften under his demanding ones, the sensual slide of your lips against his has him desperate for more.
He slips his tongue in your mouth taking advantage of your gasp as his circles against you turn from teasing to purposeful. The kiss turning messy with need. With want. 
“I know another part of my body that you like just as much,” he murmurs, as he palms your ass.
Your hand starts moving down his chest, down his stomach. 
“Nuh-uh,” he tsks, catching your tricky hand before it has a chance to reach his cock, bringing it back up to rest on his shoulder. 
“I want to touch you,” you whisper against the spot below his ear that you know drives him wild. 
“I’m getting you off right now,” he says firmly as he speeds up his motions against your clit.
It doesn’t take long before he has you panting against his mouth, your hips rocking against his fingers. 
“That’s it,” he coaxes, “Let me give you what you want.” 
He knows from the sweet whimpers you’re making that you’re close, he breaks away from your kiss to hold your half-lidded gaze as you come for him.
He will never get tired of watching you fall apart. 
He will never get tired of seeing you satisfied and spread across his bed. 
Giving you a moment to catch your breath, he shucks off his jeans and his briefs, releasing a small groan as his cock springs free. He’s been hard for you since he cornered you by the bathroom at the bar. Sending you a lazy-half smile at the way your eyes take him in standing there above you as he slowly pumps himself. 
He knows he looks good, it’s literally his job to keep his body in peak condition. 
But you make him feel good.
No one knows him better than you, makes him laugh harder than you, makes him feel as important as you do. Your appreciative gaze of his body is just another bonus to the many ways you make him feel good about himself.
He climbs on the bed, settling between the cradle of your open thighs.
“You gonna tell me what got you so keyed up, sweet girl?” he asks in-between scattering kisses across your cheeks.
“That’s classified,” you retort breathlessly as you wrap your legs around him. 
“Is it now?” he grinned, kissing along the delicate line of your jaw. He’ll let you keep your secret for now, he had other more pressing questions he wanted answers to, “Did you touch yourself when you ran off to the bathroom?” 
“No,” you whine, as he pulls your nipple into his mouth, laving it with his tongue.
“Did you think about it? Think about me?” 
He wanted to know. He needed to know that he drove you just as crazy as you did him. 
“Yes,” you gasped out in confession when he moves to your other breast, giving it the same attention, “I’m always thinking about you.”
Good.
“Already know how you feel about my fingers,” he rasps as he kisses down your stomach, making sure to place one on the little tattoo near your hipbone. “Should I let you have my mouth too, sweet girl?”
“Yes,” you breathe working your hands into the curls at the top of his head, “Please.”
“Yeah, I think so too,” he agrees mouthing at the last little bit of lace still on your body.
He pulls off your pretty pink panties and throws them somewhere behind him, probably landing on that overpriced dresser he bought for you.
He loved that he was the one who got to see you like this. Your hair was a mess from his hands, you pupils were blown wide, and your flushed chest rising and falling with rapid shallow breaths.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he says reverently before licking a firm stripe parting you open.
It’s not long before his mouth is meticulously working between your thighs, his tongue gliding over your clit, one of your legs thrown over his shoulder. 
He’s sliding his finger into you and then another, making room in your body, determined to pull a second orgasm from you.
You’re so wet for him, so soft for him, so sweet for him.
He knows what you like. He’s studied your body just as thoroughly he did the aircraft manuals he was given, if not more so.
“More,” you moan, your hips rolling from the stimulation, “I need more.”
Pulling away from you with one more broad lick of his tongue, he leans his head against the thigh that’s thrown over his shoulder, watching your face as he pushes another finger into you. The way you’re pressing your heel into the muscles of his back has him fighting the urge to grind himself into the bed. 
“You look so good like this,” he praises, taking in the way you writhe against the three fingers he has buried deep in you, as he squeezes you hip with his other hand.
He’s seen a lot of unforgettable sights from the cockpit of his plane, but nothing will ever compete with the way you look as you chase your release. Your eyes fighting to say open as you watch him watching you.
“Oh my god,” you exhale when he hits that spot inside of you, your leg starting to tremble with the need, “Please, I’m so close.” 
Using his fingers and mouth in tandem, he works you with same pressure, the same pace. He feels you clenching around his fingers a few moments later, your back arching in pleasure as you fly apart for him. 
Teasing his lips and mustache along the sensitive skin at the crease of your thigh, as you come down from your high, before kissing his way back up your body. Your greedy hands reaching out for him, pulling him to your mouth. He feeds you his tongue, letting you taste yourself on him.
The way you’re whimpering beneath him is making him feel out of control.
“I want you inside me.”
Wrapping his large hand around his cock, he drags it through your folds few times before he finally lines himself up at your center. 
And then he’s finally pushing into you, savoring the way you cling to him as he gives you a moment to adjust to his size.
“Rooster,” you say with a sigh against his lips. 
He starts to move when your hips start to shift seeking more friction. And then he’s rocking into you with the smooth, deep strokes that never fail to make your toes curl. Once, twice, three times.
“What’d you say?” he asks, as he slows the pace down. 
Your hands are in his hair, and you tug on the strands when he pulls away to look at you. Your lips are swollen, but he knows that look in your eye.  He can already can guess what you’re going to respond with before your lips have even formed the word.
“R-ooster.” 
The word comes out a stutter, as he roughly thrusts into you again. 
He doesn’t know why he’s bothered asking, he should have known that you were going to make him work for the one thing he wants to hear.
“Say my name.”
He was so gone for you, he wants you riled up and feeling the same way as him. He wants his neighbors to hear you saying his name. Wants them to know that he’s the one making you feel so good.
“Lieutenant,” you taunt, not bother trying to hide the self-satisfied on your face.
If he wasn’t going to get what he wanted then neither were you. 
He pulls out of you completely, flipping you over on the forest green duvet. His hand coming down on your ass, a quick sharp slap.
The sting of it has you gasping into your forearms pillowed underneath your head, and your cunt fluttering around nothing.
Leaning forward, he kisses down the length of your spine admiring the way the goosebumps pebble on your skin now.
“Say my name,” he coaxes again.
He tugs your hips up and licks deeply into you once before pulling away. Watching smugly on his knees at the way your hips tilt up after him, your legs spreading further apart as you offer more of yourself to him.
“Bradshaw,” you counter.
Closer, but still not what he wants to hear. 
His open hand connects on the other side of your perfect ass, earning him a sweet moan from you.
Grasping his cock to slide it through your wetness, he stops just short of where he knows you want to feel it the most. 
He wants you dazed. He wants you desperate for him.
You’ve always been the type to take a mile when you’re given an inch. And he intends to only let you have exactly eight inches tonight.
“You want this cock?” he rasps.
He knows he’s got you where he wants you when you don’t reply with another bratty remark, only desperately nodding ‘yes’ into the mattress.
“Look at me,” he demands. 
You’re slow to lift your head up to look back at him, your eyes are a little glazed over as you take him in. You look as wrecked as he feels. He can only imagine what he looks like through your eyes. He can feel the sweat collecting at his temples, can feel the flush that’s working its way down his neck to his chest.
“You know what I wanna hear, kid.”
That makes you whine. 
“Oh, you wanna be my sweet girl now, huh?” he asks, squeezing your hips.
He wants to taste that lower lip, the one that’s pouting prettily at him as you nod for him again. Even now as you writhe against him you’re still trying to get your own way, still trying to get him to break first.
“Well, you know what to do,” he feels like barely hanging on now, “Say. My. Name.” 
He punctuates each word with the rock of his hips, his cock just grazing your clit. Enough to keep you on edge, but not enough to give you the stimulation that you want.
“Bradley!” you cry out.
He’s inside of you before you’ve even gotten the second syllable out. 
Groaning your name, he throws his head back at the sensation of finally being surrounded by you again.
“Good girl. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he tries to ask teasingly, but it comes out more a rumble than anything else. “My sweet girl.”
Your pussy squeezes him harder at the praise as you roll your hips up more to better accept his body in yours. He loved the view he had, loved seeing how wet you were for him, loved seeing just how well he filled you, loved seeing you stretched around him.
He leaned forward a bit, brushing back your hair off your face to see you better. The change in angle making you gasp as you fisted the material beneath you.
“Say it again,” he prompts, smoothing a hand down your back, “I wanna hear you say it again.”
His name. 
The only thing he wanted running through your mind. 
His name. 
The only thing he wants coming from your mouth, other than the sweet whimpers and moans he is pulling from you. 
“Bradley,” you indulge, his name sounding something between a plead and a purr.
Without disrupting the pace he’s set, he nudges your knees further apart. Wrapping an arm around your middle to pull you up against his chest, needing to be closer to you. 
“Go on, let them hear who is making you feel this good,” he grunts roughly in your ear.
“Brad-ley,” the staccato of his name punctuated by his steady thrusts against you. Your hand digging into his hip.
Interlocking his fingers with yours, he lifts your arm to hook it around the back of his neck, holding you to him there. Turning your head, you greedily mouth at the column of his throat, frenzied and wet.
You were it for him, there was no question about it. And he would happily prove to you in all the ways he could think of that he was it for you too. There’s nothing he wants more than to make you feel good. To please you. To give you the best you’ve ever had. 
His other hand slides up from where he had been squeezing your waist to get his hand on your breast. He loves how perfectly you fit in his hand.
He meets you for a kiss, sloppy and perfect, messy and deep. 
He can’t control the sounds of satisfaction escaping him as you move together, feeding off of your sighs and moans. Your hands are grabbing onto whatever part of him is in reach: his hair, his thigh, his arm. 
Enjoying the drag of his cock as he moves in you, he lets himself get lost in the sensation of being connected with you like this. The room filled with the sounds of labored breathing, of your bodies coming together, of you saying his name over and over again.
You’re starting to tremble in his arms, he’s pretty sure your legs would have given out by now if it were for the way he was holding you against him. Your nails biting into the back of his neck, as he slowly drags a hand down your body to where you’re connected.
“I love this,” you murmur into the base of this throat. 
He doesn’t know if you realized you said it out loud, doesn’t know if you meant to say it out loud, but he loves hearing it all the same.
“God, you feel so good,” he can feel the sensation building at the base of his spine, “You’re perfect. So fucking perfect.”
The way his circles his fingers against your clit has you gasping into his waiting mouth. 
“Bradley, please.” 
He’d give you anything. He’d give you everything.
“C’mon then,” he insisted hoarsely, pressing his forehead against the side of your temple, “Say it for me one more time, sweet girl.” 
He speeds up his fingers, set on ending you. Working your body with the precision that he handles his sixty-five million dollar aircraft. Determined to give you what you’re so sweetly asking for.
And it’s his name you gasp as you come undone.
Your is head thrown back against his shoulder as you spasm around his cock, your hips rolling as you are lost to the pleasure of your orgasm. He kisses your neck and lightens the pressure of his fingers on your clit, wanting to extend it out for you as much as possible, enjoying the tiny pulsing aftershocks he is drawing from you. 
It’s only when he feels you go boneless that he starts to lose his own composure. His breathing going completely ragged and hips snapping erratically against you as he chases his own climax.
A few more powerful strokes later he follows you coming hard with a groan, burying his face in your neck as he spills in you.
Somehow, he manages to get you both sprawled out horizontal on the bed without him completely crushing you.
“Holy shit,” he curses flinging an arm over his eyes, his other reaching out to touch whatever part of you he can find. There’s nothing but the sound of the blood rushing in his ears as he tries to catch his breath.
Time gets away from him as he runs his hand up and down your back. It could have been a few minutes or an hour when he feels the bed move, and you slipping out of his grasp as you get up to use the bathroom. 
“No, stay,” he attempts to pull you back to him, feeling the need to have you close again as he tries to settle back into his body. You’re seemingly recovering much quicker than he is at the moment.
“I won’t even be gone two minutes, you can time me.” He can hear the soft affection in your voice. 
“Don’t think I won’t,” he grouses halfheartedly lifting up the arm with his watch on. He manages to raise his head up in time to get a glimpse of your naked figure as you close the door behind you.
True to your word, you are back one minute and forty-seven seconds later. He opens his arms to you as you climb back on his bed and drape yourself half over him.
Much better.
He feels you shift yourself up a few moments later to press a kiss to the scar on his shoulder. 
“I just want to try something,” you murmur before making your way along the bend of his collarbone. 
Up the side of his neck.
He feels his pulse start to kick up again as you work your way up the line of his jaw. He tilts his head away to give you more access to his skin there, basking in the feel of your lips on his body.
“Bradley,” you whisper lightly against the shell of his ear.
The guttural groan that rips through him surprises him. He feels his cock twitch against his thigh, a visceral reaction to you.
And then you’re giggling.
“I knew it,” you get out between fits of laughter, “You’ve got a name kink.”
Your face pure joy at your discovery. He’ll happily let you tease him for the rest of his life as long as you keep looking at him like that.
“Nah, I got a you kink,” he says as he hauls you on top of him.
“I’m already planning on letting you have your way with me again tonight, Bradley,” you proudly declare, propping yourself up on his chest, smiling down at him. “You don’t have to try so hard, I’m a sure thing.” 
If he wasn’t already gone for you, the cheeky wink you sent him would have sealed the deal.
He feels himself already starting to get hard again, one of the perks of being a part of the 1%.
“Sweet girl, you’re gonna be the end of me,” he chuckles, running his hands up your back, “And I remember someone once telling me that they give as good as they get, so I won’t be dialing it in anytime soon.”
And then he is pulling you down for a kiss.
Later that night when you’re riding him so good, you get him chanting your name. 
Over, and over, and over again. 
A couple hours later, he watches you slip away into slumber, satisfied and spent beneath the fluffy comforter on the bed.  
His bed. Your bed. Their bed.
It was just as much yours as it was his, regardless of whether you were officially living together yet or not. He bought it for you, after all.
Even on the occasional nights you spent apart, you were still everywhere. 
He liked the plants you had picked to fill out the empty spaces in the room. He liked that the right side of the bed was your side of the bed. That those were your books on the nightstand, the bookmarks peeking out waiting for you to pick up where you left off. 
There was a trinket tray for your jewelry on top of the dresser right next to the to the leather watch display box that you had gotten him for his birthday. And the drawers of that well-made, but overpriced wooden dresser were filling up with more and more of your things, just like he had hoped for when he got it.
He smiled to himself as he gently stroked your hair. The last time he was at your place, he had accidentally seen the letter from your apartment’s leasing office confirming your decision to not renew your rental agreement and your move out date. He hadn’t told you he knew, he’d rather hear it from you anyways. 
You would always be worth the wait.
The packages that were delivered to the door?
His, for now, until you moved in a couple months from now.
The name signed on the lease for the condo? 
His, for now, until you were ready to ink yours down on a deed for a new home with him. 
The little velvet box tucked away in the back corner of his nightstand? 
His, for now, but always meant to be yours.
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You can thank @mak-32 and her photo set of Rooster at the piano for this fic!
Also, many many thanks to @gretagerwigsmuse​ for being my go-to gal! I wouldn’t have been brave enough to post the smut if she hadn’t given me the all-caps go ahead! 
Here’s Bradley’s bedroom, if you’re curious!
You can check my other fics out here!
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maiyami · 7 months
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𝑷𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 & 𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎
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𝙋𝙧𝙤-𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞 𝘽𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙜𝙤𝙪 𝙭 𝙋𝙧𝙤-𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝙁𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
Minors Do Not Interact
All characters aged up, 21+.
One Shot
Warnings: Smut, fluff, pinning (Bakugou), mentions of fighting, mentions of blood, pheromones, breeding kink, lewd, mutual feelings, friends to lovers, mentions of Deku having a crush on you, jealousy, and more. (If I missed anything, my bad I did this half asleep.)
About: Number two hero Katsuki Bakugou just can’t seem to get you off his mind. Harboring a secret crush on you since your days at UA. But when you finally come back from a mission that took you overseas, he can’t help but want to keep next to you at all times.
It felt like forever since you step foot back in Japan, the United States needed the aid of some of Japans finest heroes on a year long mission. You had kept in contact with all of your friends during your time there, just making sure everything was going smoothly back home. You especially kept in touch with Japans number two hero, Bakugou Katsuki.
It wasn’t uncommon to have a conversation a day with the explosion hero before departing for your mission. You ended up becoming closer to him than ever before when everyone graduated UA. However, your conversations became longer once you left for the states.
It started off as little conversations about your mission, asking how long you’d be gone. How many heroes were taken for the mission. Which part of the states you’d be in. The main topic being about the mission, but somewhere along the way it morphed into something more. More of how has your day been? Did you rest enough? What did you have for dinner? Have you gone out at all since being in the states? You should have seen what happened to me today! I have to go to this stupid hero gala, pray I don’t blow anyone up! Just a subtle yet progressive movement of your friendship with the blonde. You didn’t mind it a bit, over the years you secretly looked forward to having these kind of meaningful and meaningless conversations with him.
He had been messaging, calling, and even FaceTiming with you all the way up to your return home. A chuckle coming to your lips as to saw his name flash on your phone screen the moment your plane landed in Japan.
Blasty (5:30am): “You better be fucking ready for everyone to flood you with welcome home messages. But I had to be the first to beat all those extras.”
You (5:34am): “Always aiming to be number one, huh Katsu?”
Blasty (5:35am): “Damn right! Welcome home, y/n.”
You (5:43am): “Thank you! My agency is throwing a massive ball for the return of all of us! You better be there.”
Blasty (5:44am): “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Princess. Who ya take me for? Kaminari?”
You (5:59am): “LOL. Never. I can’t wait to see you!”
You pocketed your phone away after you saw the gif he send a second later, a guy giving a thumbs up with a deadpanning face. If anyone else looked at the messages between the pair of you? It would look like a couple just having a cheeky conversation. You sometimes wished it was that way. But you had long given up the idea of Bakugou looking at you in that type of light. Content of having him become your best friend. However, on the other side of the phone? Bakugou Katsuki couldn’t wait to see your beautiful face.
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“What’s got you smiling at your phone so early in the morning, Bakubro?” Kirishima's voice sounded out behind the fiery blonde. Bakugou quickly pocketed his phone away to give a glare at his best friend and roommate.
“Mind your business, shitty hair! I wasn’t smilin’…” Bakugou huffed, his nostrils flaring as his friend could only laugh at him. Making the blonde return more rage at his red haired companion. “What you laughin’ at shit for brains?! You got a death wish?”
Kirishima clutched his sides, pretending to wipe away a tear from his lash line. After he was done with his little laughing fit, he looked at his best friend with joy and happiness in his eyes. “She’s finally back home, huh?” He couldn't help the shit-eating grin that spread across his face. While his hot-headed best friend looked as if he stole the last cookie from the cookie jar.
Bakugou nodded back at Kirishima, shoving his phone back into his pocket before huffing out. "I wanted to be the first one to welcome her back..." He felt his cheek become hot, he knew that it was stupid to harbor this crush still. He could just be honest with how he felt. Somewhere deep down inside, he felt like you wouldn't accept him back. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you if that was the case. He was content to just be on the sidelines for you, something he would never do for anyone else in his life.
Kirishima didn't understand why his best friend would get so embarrassed by something like this. It wasn't like you hadn't seen every side of Katsuki before. You stuck around him through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. Just like he did. If anyone was perfect enough, or meant to be with Katsuki? It was you.
"Should just tell her, man. You look like a little puppy whenever you speak with her. It's cute." Kirishima laughed as he started to run off, hearing a pillow smack into the wall he rounded while Bakugou screamed curses at him.
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It wasn't even two days later when your hero agency threw this massive party to welcome back home all of the heroes that went overseas. Everyone who was anyone was attending, which meant all of your pro-hero friends were coming to see you. Sure, you were excited to see them all. Catch up face to face, but you were most excited to see Bakugou.
The stylest that was given to you, dressed you to the nines. Your sequence crimson dress was snug to your frame, hanging low at your back. A pair of black heels to match along with your black clutch, honestly you were a sight to behold. Anyone's imagination could run wild seeing you in this dress. It just made everything fit in the right place. Light make-up, nothing too distracting from your choice in formal wear. However, tonight you decided not to hide the scar that ran along the left side of your face. Right over your eye, it slit your eyebrow a little. You were tired of trying to hide it at this point, you weren't ashamed of it. Just a battle scar you picked up in the States.
You wouldn't say you were nervous, there was however a little hum that stayed in the back of your mind. Was this going to be overwhelming? Was it going to be too much for just coming back home? What if people didn't remember you? These thoughts flooded your mind the whole car ride to your agency. Only for them to be stopped as you saw the flashes of the shutterbugs waiting at the entrance to get pictures of the arriving heroes. Shouting question after question as you exited the car, giving them your best-practiced smile as you made your way inside.
Your agency didn't cut costs for how well they did the place up, it honestly didn't even look like an agency anymore. They turned a brick office building, into a stunning ball-like palace. With food that almost looked too good to eat, and music that made the place feel light and airy. It was refreshing, to say the least, it made your heart warm. It also caused your quirk to emanate off you slightly, the scent of peaches wafting into the air as you moved through a sea of people. Finally spotting a face that you had come to be very friendly with over the past year away. Rushing to get to their side and feel a bit of comfort.
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Bakugou Katsuki was never late for anything, but tonight was different. Since Kirishima promised that they would give Kaminari a ride, they were going to be late. Much later than Bakugou could tolerate at this point. He was antsy, shaking his leg in the backseat as they finally made their way to the agency. Thirty fucking minutes later than they should have been if only that damned Kaminari was ready on time...Bakugou would have already seen your pretty face. Hear your breath-taking laugh, and held you close to him. It was all that was keeping him sane for the car ride, that he will be able to do that soon.
Decked out in a tux, with a crimson red tie to match his eyes he finally arrived at your agency. Glaring and hissing at the shutterbugs as he pushed his way into the building. He had a set goal, finding you. Hastily pushing through the crowd, but what really caught his attention to find you was the smell of peaches in the air. That syrupy smell made his mouth water and filled his senses with nothing but you. If he was honest with himself, he used to hate it. It was so distracting, it would make his mind mush. Make his teeth ache with the smell alone while making his pants tighter around his crotch. After years of knowing you, letting that scent take over his mind again and again? He welcome it, he craved it in his daily life. Even went as far as buying peach rings or peach-flavored yogurt just so it would be like you were always with him. He loved the scent, following the trail that lead to you.
That's when he saw you standing at the bar, looking as beautiful as the day he first met you. He took you in for a moment, relishing in the way your nose scrunched up as you laughed. How you would tip your head back a little to stop that laughter, and how your cheeks were dusted pink from the drinks you already had in your system. You were a vision in his eyes, the most gorgeous thing he ever got the pleasure of being around. But that all faded for a second as he noticed who you were with.
Even though Bakugou had made his peace with Izuku, he couldn't help that little green monster of jealousy rear its ugly head within him. Watching you shower Izuku in your warmth and joy, sucked it right out of Bakugou himself. That was supposed to be him making you laugh, making you touch his arm for support. Not Deku. Anyone but Deku. He almost walked away, he almost went in a different direction. Not wanting to say the wrong thing as he watched his long-time friend flirt with the girl of his dreams. However, you had caught his eye. Excusing yourself from Izuku to practically run up to Bakugou.
"Katsuki! You came!" You yelled over the other people speaking and the music. Pulling the blonde into a tight embrace. Bakugou felt his whole body stiffen for a moment, his brain stalling. Before correcting himself, wrapping his arms around you. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled that sickly sweet scent that he loved. Basking in your presence a little longer than what typical friends would do. Before unraveling himself from your body.
"Course I did, Princess. Wouldn't miss it for the world." He rasped low, Keeping a hand on your waist as you beamed up at him. This is what he has been waiting for, for a year now. To just be around you, be close to you. Once he finally took all of you in, his brows furrowed a bit. Bringing a thumb up to rub at the tail end of your scar that hit your cheekbone. "When did ya get this?"
You paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before speaking back at him. "Maybe about a month or so into the mission." You brought your own hand up and over Bakugou's, rubbing the top of his hand for a moment before continuing. "I had to keep up with appearances over there, so my PR team made me cover it up all the time. I just...didn't feel like hiding it anymore."
"Why didn't you mention it to me? How ya get it?" He rasped again, a little bite to his question. Almost as if he was hurt that you didn't tell him.
"It was always covered with make-up, I didn't see the point of speaking about it when at some point I knew you'd see it." You bit back a little, not enjoying his tone. "A fight broke out within the mafia I had to be a spy in. A guy pulled a knife and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Luckily I didn't lose my eyesight, Izuku was actually the one that got the guy away with the knife. So, honestly, I owe him a huge thanks."
Now that stung a little bit for Bakugou, not being the one to come to your aid. Not being the one to be on the mission with you. For you to owe a debt to Deku of all people. It made his jaw clench, and his free hand ball up into a fist. The light scent of caramel wafting into the air as Bakugou’s quirk was acting up. Most people wouldn’t really care that they could smell it but you knew what was happening.
“Katsuki…what’s going on?” You questioned as the scent of his quirk came to your nose. Causing you to hold onto his arm, trying to bring him back down to earth. Making him look at you for a moment. “What’s got you so upset?”
Katsuki took a deep breath, his crimson eyes finally leveling with yours before he grabbed onto your hand. Making sure his palms weren’t too hot to touch you. He led you out to the balcony, away from everyone else. At the bar, a certain green haired man was watching. A displeased look on his face before he chuckled to himself.
“Izuku, what’s gotten into you today? You haven’t taken your eyes off her.” Shinso finally asked his friend, watching him look like a wounded dog. His own purple eyes looking over to see Bakugou leading you elsewhere.
“I-…I got really close to y/n. On the mission that is. But I always knew I was coming in second. She’d speak to him daily…I saw it in the way her eyes would light up when his name came across her screen. I guess I can’t be number one in everything.”
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Out on the balcony, Katsuki moved you both towards the small seating area at the far end of the balcony. But neither of you sat, Katsuki just leaned against the railing. His palms rubbing over his face once he let go of you. “What is going on.” You finally asked, holding onto your own arms.
He was silent for a long moment, his hands gripping the railing tight before finally sighing. His eyes never left yours, like he was staring into your soul. “I just…fuck. I don’t know how to say it, princess. Not without it fucking everything up.”
“What are you going to fuck up?” You would question while moving up to him. To grabbed his cheeks, making him keep his attention on your eyes before rubbing them softly. “Please, Katsuki…honey. I don’t know what’s going on.”
At the pet name you had given him so long ago, it felt like all his worries disappeared in a moment. Moving to rest his hands on your hips, letting his fingers dig there for a moment. “I-…I’m- shit! This is so hard…I’m so embarrassed. Goddamnit I’m in love with you, ok!” He finally huffed it out, making his eyes look down once more so he didn’t see the reaction on your face. “But that damn Dek- Izuku might have a place in your heart and I don’t know how to handle that.”
You gave his cheeks a little shake, making his eyes meet yours again. All yours showed was kindness and love, with the small smile on your lips. “Honey…Izuku doesn’t have a place in my heart. Maybe as a great friend but nothing more.” You said while stroking the sides of his cheeks, moving in a little closer. “Who have I been speaking to everyday even before I left? Who has seen every little ugly side to me? Who have I told everything to?” You asked, noticing the way Katsuki shrugged his shoulders. You chuckled a little. “You, dumbass. It’s all been you. I’m in love with you too.” You smiled at him brightly.
He couldn’t believe what he heard initially, his mind moving a mile a minute. He moved his hands quickly to your face, his thumb brushing at the tail end of your scar once more. “You do? You…love me? Princess, don’t bullshit me.” As you shook your head yes, Katsuki had the biggest smile that had ever crossed his face. He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was raw, passionate, and full of undying love. The way your lips moved together was like two people coming together to be one finally. It was breathless, it was sweet, and it was something you both had been missing for a long time now.
"Let's leave." Katsuki finally spoke after breaking the kiss, still holding onto you tightly. He wanted to take you away, he wanted to just have you to himself. Finally, he waited long enough and so had you. "Can we leave?" He pressed again as he pulled you into a tight embrace. "I just want you to myself right now, fuck everyone else."
You nodded your head softly, looking up into his crimson eyes. A smile was etched into your lips as you started to pull him towards the front of the agency. "Yeah, let's go. I have waited long enough to have you to myself."
The wait wasn't long to get a cab to pick you up, it was the wait for the drive home that was killing you both. Soft touches against legs, brushes of hands against hands, and let's not forget the smooth whispers coming from Katsuki that the cab driver needed to 'hurry the fuck up already.' It was actually really amusing to you, because what you didn't expect when you rolled up to the front of Katsuki's apartment building? Was him to basically throw money at the driver's face, and carry you all the way up to his home.
"Katsuki! You can put me down now!" You were laugh-yelling at him as he kicked in his door. Not caring that it was almost 1am in the morning and the door handle denting the drywall.
"No time..." He said softly against your neck, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses against your skin as he navigated through his apartment into his bedroom. Once he pressed you into those black silk sheets, everything hit you at once. Looking up at him over you, the desire and love in his eyes, you were finally going to be with someone you truly loved in this world.
The small little sigh you let slip past your lips as he nibbled on one particularly sensitive spot on your neck made him realize it too. Years and years of loving you in secret could finally come out in the open. He can finally express the way he feels about you, without even having to say anything. He just looked down at you, your hair all sprawled out in different directions, lipstick a little smeared, and the look of love in your eyes? You looked like a goddess to him.
"You're beautiful..." He said softly before moving back to kiss you again. This time it was more rushed, like he was hungry. He was hungry for you, slipping the straps of your dress down your shoulders. As your breasts finally became unclothed, Katsuki sucked in a breath. Your pretty perky nipples already standing at attention for him, causing him to lean down to blow cool air over one while he twisted the other with his fingers. It caused your back to arch into his touch, pushing a leg between his thighs as the top of your knee brushed against his already hard crotch.
He hissed a bit from the touch, having him wrap his lips around your nipple to give it a playful little suck. What piqued his interest the most was the way you reacted to his teasing. A high-pitched moan came from your throat before you slapped your palm over your lips. Your body was so sensitive, so ready for him. He moved his hands lower, bringing your dress along with him before getting rid of the offending object. Leaving you bare under him.
"No panties...fuck Princess...you'll be the death of me." He growled, something deep in his chest as he moved back. Stripping himself of his own clothing before moving back ontop of you. His hand slipped between your bodies so he could run a finger up your already moist slit. Katsuki's eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head when he felt your slick against his fingers, before slowly pushing two of them inside your sopping cunt. "Gotta prep you..."
You already felt full from just how thick his fingers were, working in and out of you at a slow pace. However, your eyes didn't leave his cock. It was so thick, and long as well. Veins in all the right places while his head was just a pretty shade of pink, dripping precum already. You didn't care about being prepped at the moment, all you wanted was to feel him deep inside you. You moved your hand to take ahold of his shaft, stroking it softly before bringing your palm up to his tip. But he quickly grabbed your hand and pinned it next to you.
"Don't...baby. I am barely keeping it together. If you touch me like that? I'll fold. Be a good girl for me, Princess." He said in such a husky voice it made you squirm under him. That granted you his smirk, all teeth. He was pleased with himself, seeing that you were so good at listening to him. So willing for him, such a perfect girl. You were so ready for him, but he wanted more. He wanted to taste you, to feel you quiver on his tongue. To see you lose your mind to the pleasure. But as he went to move towards your cunt, this time you stopped him.
"Please...I can't wait anymore. I want you inside me Katsuki...please? Can you please just make love to me already? I want you...I need you...Daddy...please." Well you didn't expect that to come out of your mouth, but you were so hazed over in pleasure and need that you didn't care. The name however made Katuski raise his eyebrows in shock. It made you close your mouth, eyes adverting his gaze now.
Katsuki felt his mind stop, felt it completely skip a beat at the sound of your voice calling him daddy. It unlocked something in his brain, it made him feral for you. His desire for you now went through the roof. Boy, were you in for it now.
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"Daddy? Oh...baby girl...you've done it now..." He smirked at you, moving his head back from between your thighs. Leaving a trail of open-mouth kisses against your torso, up your chest, and now to your neck. Literally you with every little mark he could leave on your body, claiming you as his. His tongue trailed against the shell of your ear before he whispered something lewd against it. "You want Daddy to put his fat cock inside you? I'd be you'd look so sexy with it bugling out of your stomach...hm?" He sucked on your earlobe a little before continuing. "Want Daddy to stuff you full of his hot cum...make you his?"
Your mind was running a mile a minute, it was so good, so much. As you felt his tip start to press against your slick entrance. "Please..." You moaned out almost breathless. "Please...fill me with your cum...Daddy." You begged him, while bringing your left leg over his lower back, trying to pull him into you more. "Will you fill me up?" You asked in such a sweet voice that it made Katsuki's whole body shudder a bit.
"Fuck, I'll do anything for you if you talk to me like that..." He said now somewhat out of breath. Moving his hand to take ahold of his shaft, to part your lips. The feeling of your slick already coating his head, made him see stars for a moment until he pulled himself together again. "Alright, I'm going to put it in Princess." He said under his breath as he slowly pushed his head past the first tight ring of muscle. He felt your walls making room for him, fitting the shape of him, as he slowly bottomed out inside of you. The pure sound of pain, mixed with a little bit of pleasure made his eyes roll to the back of his head. He fought with everything in his power to keep his eyes on your face, not wanting to miss a second of your expressions.
You were a vision under him, goosebumps littering your whole body. A slight arch in your back, the way your chest was raising and falling with a small pant in your breath. Your eyes screwed tight in pleasure, while your mouth hung open just slightly. You were beautiful to him. You always were, but in this moment you were ethereal.
As you felt him hit against your cervix, your legs wrapped instantly around his lower back. Keeping him tight against you while you caught your breath for a second. Your eyes opened slowly, marveling at the view you were getting. Katsuki's eyebrows pinched a little, lower lip snug between his teeth. A small bit of sweat on the side of his forehead, while his eyes looked at you with nothing but love.
Each drag of his cock within your tightened walls was like seeing the night sky lit up with stars. The feeling of him slowly thrusting himself in and out of you, so painfully slow had your eyes almost crossed. You were soaked, so much so that there was a lewd squelch every time Katsuki pulled out of you. The sound of skin hitting against skin was echoing through the room as Katsuki poured every ounce of how much he loved you, into your body.
As you felt your body coming to your climax, you accidentally set off your quirk. The scent of peaches and cream seeped into the air, almost like a thick cloud of desire and lust. You felt Katsuki shiver above you, hand gripping the sheets next to your head with such a tight grip. It made him pick his pace up, thrusting into at a back-breaking pace.
"Fuck- Princess...goddamn you smell so fucking sweet...so fucking good. Ahh, fuck!" He was losing himself above you, his face so screwed up in pleasure that it made you tighten around him suddenly. "Don't- shit! Don't do that Princess...I'll cum inside you..."
"Do it...cum inside me...please pleasee Daddy, cum for me?" You begged just as sweet as your scent. Batting your eyelashes up at him, holding him in closer as your tasty moans hit his ears like the best music he ever heard. Plus the way your cunt was clenching around him, sucking him in? Made Katsuki lose his mind.
"Ya? You want me to cum inside you? Want me to breed this tight little pussy? Yah...yeah you fucking do. Fuck ya, baby. Take it all, take it fucking all." He said while thrusting as deep as he could inside of you, holding himself there as he painted your walls a pretty white.
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As you both came down from your highs, Katsuki slipped out of you slowly. Taking a moment to watch how his cum was leaking out of you. It made his cock twitch for a moment before he let his fingers trail in the mixed liquids before pushing some of it back into you. At the way you squirmed in overstimulation, he chuckled. Moved to lay beside you, bringing your back into his chest. He was leaving soft open-mouth kisses on the back of your neck. Just enjoying how you hummed in satisfaction.
"I can't believe I finally got you..." He said in a groggy voice, the low grave in it making you shutter a little against him. That earned you a playful nip to the back of your ear. "Relax, woman. If you keep at it? We are going to go all night."
"Who says I wouldn't want that?" You playfully teased back, rolling slightly so you could face him. Your own shit-eating grin plastered on your face. You leaned forward to kiss him deep, letting the moment sink in before you were rolled onto your back once again.
"That a challenge? Oh...Princess...you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into now."
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staticbleeding · 22 days
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⛧°。 ⋆Waiting on the Stars ⋆°⛧
+:。.。 teen Stanford Pines x gn reader 。.。:+
Part 3 is here y'all!! I'm tempted to keep a majority of the story in Ford's POV. Let me know what y'all think! warnings : strong language, suggestive language, the usual teen shit pt.1 pt.2 pt.3
1972 What happens when Ford's chance to ask you out is right in front of him? Will he grab it and run? Or will his time run out?
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Ford's POV
"Hello?"
What do I say? God their voice is so pretty. Do I hang up? No that's creepy.
Thoughts race through my head. Fear and anger crashes over my body like waves. Finally the reality hits, I need to say something.
"H-Hi (Y/N)?" I stutter out finally.
"Ford? Hey! How'd you get my number?" Their voice rings in my ears as a blush raises throughout my face.
"Stan. He saw you left your notebook in class today and let me call to tell you..I promise I didn't look through it at all! Just your..number." I feel myself mentally cringing at how creepy all of this could sound.
"Oh shit. I didn't even notice! Thank you!" They laugh and thank me, I feel my heart begin to beat faster. Not out of fear or anxiety, but of something else.
"Oh it's nothing! Just..buddies looking out for each other...not assuming we are buds or anything! Just a phrase..yeah phrase." I say and look up seeing Stan shaking his head and laughing. A silent glare is directed at him.
"Of course we are! Looking out for each other. Speaking of which, um would you like to meet up sometime this weekend so I can get it back? Not like a date or anything." I hear their voice quiet down at the last part. My heart tightens up and my stomach drops.
"SO like a date?! Oh he would LOVE to honey! I'll make sure he dresses all fancy for ya. Flowers and all! I like you already! He will pick you up tomorrow at 7 alright?" My mother's voice rings out through the line. I turn around towards the living room and see her sitting in her usual chair with the phone in her hands. She looks up at me and blows a kiss before getting up and walking away like she didn't just say the words I have been so scared to say out loud so nonchalantly. Oh God please let the floor open up and just swallow me whole.
"A date!? Oh! Um if Ford wants it to be a date..then yeah." I hear (Y/N) say into the phone.
"Excuse her! I am so sorry! I..is a date alright? Don't feel pressured to say yes at all! It is completely understandable if not." I cover my face with my free hand and quietly say into the speaker.
"I would love a date with you Ford..." I hear them speaking but after those 8 words leave their mouth I can't focus on anything else but my heart beating faster than it ever has. This can't be real. I am going on a date with them. An actual date. With the prettiest person to ever step foot into this town!? Oh stars what if I mess this up? I feel myself start to lose my mind to worries and anxiety. Tuning out everything except my own voice.
"Do I need to tell you the address again Fordsy?" I hear their laughter I have come to love so much, slowly bring me back into reality.
"Shoot! Um sorry yeah. Wait let me get a ink pen," I run around the kitchen finding something to write it down, "Okay continue please."
Writing down every number and word they say, brings this entire thing to reality. I am going on my first date ever. Do they know this is my first date? What do they even like? Where do I acquire flowers for a date?!
"So..tomorrow at 7?" A smile coats their voice so sweetly I can't help but smile back as if they can see it.
"Yes. Tomorrow at 7. I will..see you there!" With that we say our goodbyes and hang up. Finally a steady breath finds my lungs and fills them up.
"See!? Wasn't that hard Sixer. Just needed a push." Looking up I see my brother and my ma giving each other a high five. Rolling my eyes, I watch as ma goes to look for a suit that will fit me. Stan looks at me and tells me I can use his cologne that "all the ladies love it on me, surely it can help you". I can't help but smile a little. Silently thanking them for the help. I slowly walk to my room and find myself laying in the bed I have spent countless night dreaming. Dreaming of how I can ask them out, maybe the stars heard me? If I ever visit the stars, I will have to thank them. A big smile finds its way to my face. Maybe everything will be okay.
The next few hours are spent with Ford's eyes wide open. Imagining everything that could happen. Many thoughts circle the Young man's head. 'The possibility of this date going completely perfect is slim to none' , 'What do we do?' , 'I have to impress them. make them want to do this date thing again'. Ford slowly drifts off to sleep imagining the chances of this working out. Stan creeps into the room and smiles at the twin asleep cuddling against a pillow. A smile on the older Pines brother, bigger than Stan has ever seen on the usual stoic and serious face.
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Ahh! Chapter 3! Sorry for the shorter chapter! Didn't want to put the date and the phone call all in one. Gotta stretch it out wink wink. I hope you all are as excited as I am for the date.
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macfrog · 10 months
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secrets cowboy like me chapter fourteen
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one day i'll rein my chapters back in. today is not that day. thirteen thousand words of...a little bit of fucking and a lot of fighting. i love you all and i still can't believe the love you continue to show this series. you're all actually insane. i present to you: the penultimate chapter of cowboy.
pairing: dbf!joel miller x fem!reader
summary: the one where...everybody finds out.
warnings: age gap (reader is 23, joel is 48), a big argument, a lot of guilt, angry disappointed dad, one mention of alcohol consumption, lil bit of sub!joel, unprotected piv, tiny bit of degradation, tiny bit of praise kink, creampie, cursing, smut, fluff, angst 
word count: 12.9k (dry heaves) 
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🧡
You haven’t slept a wink. Not one second.
You and Joel were awake until one in the morning on the phone; you – panicking, spilling words into the receiver, watching different cuts of your dad realizing everything as though projected across your blank ceiling, and Joel – monotone as fucking ever, batting every single theory away.
He doesn’t know a damn thing, he’d said. You didn’t miss the way his words hung over the edge of the sentence, trembling almost.
You scoffed and hissed back down the line. You don’t fucking know that! How can you know that?
You think he just found out about us and thought, Hey, better get some shut-eye before I deal with this? Really, baby?
I think he doesn’t know what he found out. I think he’s probably tryna convince himself that he’s wrong.
So, let him. He’s wrong. We go with that.
Joel knew he wasn’t doing anything to calm you down. Wasn’t offering anything you could seriously take on. You know he wasn’t trying to.
He was as worried as you were – he was just pretending not to be, because what fucking good would it do to have the two of you bouncing off one another with panic?
Still, he stayed on the phone the entire night. When he fell asleep, you lay in bed and tossed everything over in your head like tearing back the pages of a diary. Last night, then Frank’s, then the weekend before that, then the Hillcrest – all the way back to that first ride home. The pissing rain, the boxes of nails rattling in the glove compartment with each sway of the truck. Recalling every word spoken, every move made, every expression pulled and glance stolen and fucking breath taken.
Any sound from beyond your door shot a bullet of adrenaline through your veins, coursing through your body like ice. As if it was your dad, barreling in at 3AM to have it out with you.
You reckon you’d be ready if he did. Wide-eyed, fists clenched, heart hammering.
Joel groans back to life at eight. You hear the ruffling of bedsheets, the crackle down the line as he drags the phone across his mattress and pins it to his ear. You lift your own. Joel and 08:43:36, 37, 38 underneath it on the screen.
His voice drums low and groggy from the speaker. “You are gonna have my phone bill through the damn roof. I’m exhausted, darlin’.”
“I can’t think of anything else. He knows, Joel.”
He sighs. You can see his head falling into his hand, see his thumb rubbing circles into his temple. “Let’s just see what happens, alright? There ain’t any chance you left your phone in the living room ‘n he came across it, thought he’d keep it for you comin’ home?”
“I’ve barely left my room all week. Why would it be down there?”
Joel’s quiet. He just breathes down the line. After a minute, he clears his throat.
“Come over, would ya?”
“Huh?”
“Come over. I wanna see you. I wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine, Joel, I’m –”
“Hey. Don’t make me ask again, alright? C’mon, now. I got some errands to run; you’re coming with me.”
He doesn’t have to say much else to convince you; you’re already pulling your bedsheets back and hanging up. Your hoodie and shorts are still hooked over the foot of your bed. The sun filters through the drapes, edges you nearer the door. Your chest fills with something calling itself bravery, and slowly, quietly – you click the door open.
The hallway is silent. A blushing gold in the morning light. The house is still – eerily still. Your dad’s room door is open, bed made, sheets tucked neatly under the mattress. Like he had time to spend on it. Stuff to mull over as he made it.
The carpet softens your footsteps when you finally move for the stairs. The birds are singing outside. The wallpaper canvases your shadow, a little monster creeping along one step behind you, passing picture frames which dazzle with sunrays and mirror a half-lit reflection back to you. One side you – the other, missing.
You lean over the last step, craning your head and shoulders into the hallway. The clock on the wall opposite ticks to no one. Tick tick tick tick. And aside from it, from its taunting tutting, there are no other signs of life. His jacket hangs from the peg. His boots lying below, laces tangled.
The sun separates into brittle shards through the window, illuminating the way to the kitchen. You’re not fucking prepared to follow it.
Shoulders hunched, like it might make a difference, you step forward and lower your thumb and index finger over your keys, aiming for them like a shaky arcade claw machine. Tick tick tick. They jingle as you hook your fingertip through them. Your nose wrinkles.
“Hey.”
He appears around the corner like an apparition. The keys drop back to the unit with a violent clatter.
“Jesus!”
“Woah, woah.” Your dad holds a palm up, laughing nervously. “Sorry. Where you headed?”
“Uh, J– Sarah’s. Some errands she wants some help with.”
He nods. “Yeah? You don’t want breakfast first?”
You drag your eyes to meet his for the first time. He looks drawn, skin like webbing, as though it’s just draped over his skull. As though you could put your finger through it like parchment, just push straight through. He looks like he’s had about as much sleep as you have.
“No, thanks,” you say, the sunken, sullen sight of him crumbling your voice to dust. Your lips move wordlessly, waiting for another lie from your tongue to offer over. But between the way he looks, weary and forlorn, and the thin veil of truth left between you – nothing materializes.
“Why don’t you – why don’t you hold back a second?” Dad beckons you forward, folding his fingers to his palm. “Got somethin’ I wanna talk to you about.”
“Dad, I really gotta go, I –”
“Just – come on. I’m sure Sarah won’t mind.”
He disappears without waiting for a response. Shifts back into the living room, shadow following him like a cloak across the door. You hear the creak of his chair as he settles down into it, the unsettling squeal of leather and spring.
Your feet are planted to the hall floor. To move in either direction feels like a trap. To follow after him – sit opposite and swallow back what you think you know is coming. All of his suspicions stuck in your throat like a bitter, powdery pill. Or to turn away – leave him in an empty house, nothing but the sound of his own breathing and that tick tick tick affirming your guilt.
No more excuses filter through – none of Joel’s ideas, none of his explanations. You let your shoulders drop and your eyes close. The only image behind them is that six-foot, graying, droning idiot who’s probably sat waiting for you to pull up so he can take you to fucking Trader Joe’s or whatever.
And his shirt, which he’d probably drape over your shoulders before he’s even said hello. And his smile, which would draw you onto your tiptoes, draw your lips to his. And his hands, and his waist, and his pulse in step with yours as you follow him around the quiet store, the Saturday morning air daring you to hook your fingers around two of his every now and then. The longing a gnawing in your chest, burrowing deep beneath the cage of your ribs.
He's not here, though. It’s just you. And if you call him now, if he shows up unannounced – it’s only going to confirm what your dad thinks. Fuck it – what he knows.
So you unstick your sneakers and haul yourself through to the living room.
He’s rocking in the chair when you sink back into the couch. Balls of his feet pushing him back and forth. His fingers to his lips, like keeping the words at bay for now. Like feeling the jagged shape of them through his skin.
You throw a pillow over your legs, shaggy ivory fringe tickling your bare thighs. Your dad doesn’t speak. When you lift your head, his eyes flit from yours down to your restless fingers knitting the tassels of his pillow.
“What is it?” you croak.
“Mind if I ask you somethin’?”
You shrug. “Go for it.”
He waits a beat. A hesitation. Like he doesn’t want to ask the first question. He’s at the edge of a cliff. One more step and he’s plummeting down the rocky side, into a fog of cloud. Nothing will ever be the same. Only – you’ve already pushed him. He’s already falling. He just hasn’t realized it yet.
Maybe he feels the drop in his stomach, right now. Maybe the wind screams in his ears. He finally asks, “When were you gonna tell me about y’all gettin’ into a barfight on Friday night?”
Unexpected. But keep your fucking cool.
Your fingertip whitens, blood halted by the knot of the cushion fringe. You chew on a torn leaf of skin from your lips. “What?”
“You ‘n Joel. When he picked you up. What the hell happened?”
Your eyes slide from his to the patio door behind him, garden lighting up with the sun scaling higher in the sky. You stare there until it burns, until it’s all just a blur of color in your vision, and then pull a half-blinded gaze back in his direction.
You’re frozen, as if he has you at gunpoint. Shoulders tense, eyes wide. Dontshootdontshootdontshoot. “Who –? Who said that?”
“Hank. Was on the phone to ‘im last night. Anna said Joel was squarin’ up to some kid in Frank’s. You wanna tell me exactly what happened?”
“Nothing.” Liar. “Nothing happened. It was just some asshole. Joel was just lookin’ out for me. For us. Me ‘n Anna.”
“She told Hank he knocked the kid out. That Sam had to stop it from gettin’ outta control.”
He stares at you, and there’s no mask on his face. No cover, no disguise. He’s suspicious. And he doesn’t care that you know it. He’s not just asking about the barfight.
“Are you gonna say it or am I, hon?”
“Say what?”
Your last thread of insane hope that he’s innocently wondering about Frank’s is snapped in two by the words that tear out of his mouth, so quick they rip into your skin like shards of glass.
“What the hell’s goin’ on between you two?”
Your body suddenly drops further into the couch, the weight of your blood freezing to ice in your veins. Your joints seize, your jaw locks. Air passes across your open lips with no intention of carrying words back out the way it came. You forget any ability you had previously to come up with excuses, to cover up, to lie. Hell, you’re not sure you’d remember your own fucking name if he asked that next.
You say nothing. And he cocks his head, drums his fingers on the arm of his chair.
Say something.
“Nothing.”
Say something more convincing.
“Nothing?” you repeat, a shrill pitch in your voice like it’s a question. Like he’s dumb for even thinking there might be something weird going on. Like he’s the idiot.
The clock in the hall ticks to itself, amused. Fifteen little snaps. Each one sounds like a plate of glass beneath your feet, cracking a little more, a little deeper, a little wider. The abyss opening its wide, dark jaws beneath you.
Your dad’s expression doesn’t change. He crosses his arms, head leaning back a little. He almost looks sad. Almost looks like he might give in. Send you on your way, on your errands with Sarah.
But something recharges him, something must flicker behind his eyes, because he sits forward again and watches your reaction intently as he says –
“Then explain the text messages you been sendin’ each other.”
Another blow hits your stomach, rippling waves of white heat through you. You feel hot, a scorching panic right beneath the surface of your skin so hot that it mistakes itself for ice cold. A panic which radiates from your heart, pulsating through your entire body, every limb beginning to shudder involuntarily. Your silence is answer enough.
He sighs. Sits forward with his elbows on his knees. “I knew y’all were close, knew you cared about each other. You sure always talked to ‘im more ‘n you ever talked to me, even before you went off to college. But I’ve been noticing things lately…Something’s different. Something’s changed.”
Your eyes trace his form as he talks. It’s fucking dizzying. He’s animated, like a character from some eighties cop show who finally solved the mystery. He knows. He knows everything. Your jaw won’t move to answer.
“Seeing you two together – talking, laughing. The way you look at each other these days. ‘n you’re always near each other, ain’t you? Always hoverin’. It ain’t anything like before. That day the three of us went to Costco, that – I –” His anger seems to boil over, cascading from his lips in an angry burst of hot breath. “I felt like a spare tire in the back of the truck that day.”
“We’re…We’re just…f-friends…I don’t –”
He holds a finger up. Doesn’t want to hear it. Not until his speech is done. The sun moves behind a cloud; the living room suddenly drains of light. “That day you said you were spending the night at Anna’s. Said you were havin’ a pool day, right?”
“Right,” you whisper, eyes closing over. They feel heavy. Tired and teary.
“Right. Except,” he brings his finger down, aims it straight at you, “Hank says you weren’t never there. Anna was at Sal’s all day Sunday.”
Fuck.
“Dad…”
You’re pleading with him now. Enough, I’ve heard enough. I know you know. As if you might still be able to stop the train, dig your heels in and hold on tight to derail it. Derail his thoughts. Salvage the situation, string it back together with shame and atonement.
But he doesn’t listen. He doesn’t even hear you.
“’n that’s when I got to thinkin’ – last Monday, at Joel’s. I went over to fix his sink – you remember I told you about his sink?” He doesn’t wait for a response. “I went over there, and he’s cookin’ this great big breakfast – pancakes, all of it – and there ain’t no one else in his house. Just him. Sarah was in Nashville, you remember?”
You take a deep breath. This is it. The ship’s beginning to disappear beneath the black waves.
“I thought maybe he had someone over, maybe expectin’ that girl from the plant hire…Anyway,” he bats his hand, bats the hopeful glint in Lois’s eye from his mind, “I’m walking downstairs, on my way out, and I notice somethin’ on the floor by the door.”
His chair squeaks timidly as he moves, his right arm lowering, scooping for something you can’t see yet. But when he shakily lifts it, your eyes fall to your knees. It hangs before you, apologetic and ashamed.
Joel was right. He knew it. You palmed him off. You told him your dad wouldn’t – couldn’t – put two and two together. And here he is, sat feet from you, holding the final piece to the puzzle in a quivering fist. Proof that, when he was in the house that day, you were only feet from him. Wrapped in his best friend’s shirt, dripping wet from his shower.
“This bag,” he hisses, and the tears finally drop onto your cheeks. They scurry to your chin, gathering and throwing themselves to your chest. Your shoulders drop, your eyes still low. You can’t look at him.
He speaks slowly. Speaks through his teeth. Every word like its own poisonous jab.
“Now you tell me: what in God’s name is your bag doin’ in Joel Miller’s hallway, at ten in the mornin’, when you’re supposed to be at Anna’s?”
Your fingers touch your forehead, a burning pain beginning to sting through your skull. You can feel your pulse in your temples. You’ve never wanted Joel to be stood in front of you so badly in all your life; just to deflect some of the interrogation off of you, just to give you breathing space. Just to protect you from the onslaught of questioning from your dad.
“No,” he mutters, shaking his head. The bag hits the carpet with a thud. “No, there ain’t no way. You were at Anna’s, right? You ain’t with Joel Miller, no way. I’m thinkin’, Please, God, don’t let that have been my daughter’s bag that day. But I’m right, ain’t I? You were there, weren’t you?”
You blink rapidly. The tears multiply quicker. The room is glossed in a protective film of salt and adrenaline. Give me something to say back. Give me something to say back.
“Where were you, hon? Musta been hidin’ somewhere, right?”
Give me something please think of something please come over please walk through that door please tell me what to say.
And then it comes to you. You blink the mist from your eyes. He said…he knew about texts you’d been sending Joel. How did he…?
“How did you know about the texts?”
“Pardon me?”
You straighten up and look him dead in the eye. Your voice feels hoarse. It sounds nothing like you. “How – did you know – about – the texts?”
“That’s your concern right now?”
“How – did you know?”
He begins to sputter, like the heat turned up under a pan on the hob. “Look, hon, you had me worried sick. Disappearin’ and I got no clue where you are. Always having an excuse to go off somewhere alone, no explanation. Don’t even get me started on those marks on your neck.”
Your hand immediately clamps around your throat, hot skin stained pink hissing into your palm. Joel’s teeth on you last night. His words cushioning the sharp bite. I love you. The heat hurts, now, when it felt so comforting just a few hours ago. It burns. It throbs. It feels like shame.
Your dad’s voice brings you back into the room.
“There’s another thing – last night,” he flings a laugh to you, “you were so quiet. So damn quiet. Didn’t say a word the entire time, and then I leave for all of ten minutes, and suddenly the two of you are headin’ over to his for – what was it? UCLA pamphlets?”
There’s a break between his words, a gap which makes you think that he wants you to answer. Like he’s giving you a chance, extending his arm. But he fills the space with a jeering laugh, and keeps talking.
“Where are they, huh? These pamphlets? ‘s why you were at Joel’s, right? Go on, go get ‘em. Show them to me.”
Your face solidifies. Lips tremble. There’s a scowl pulling your brows together. You’ve no right for it to be there. “Stop it,” you seethe. “Tell me what you did.”
“He’s the only one. The only one who could get you to talk. I had to check, kiddo. I had to know.”
Your stare doesn’t let up. Your lips bolt shut, refusing to say another word until he confesses. Which he does. Almost breezily.
“I looked through your phone. While you were gone. I – I went upstairs, ‘n I took it.”
He says it casually, as though he’s simply checked the newspaper. As though he’s just relaying the columns to you. Someone’s had a baby. Someone else won three grand on a scratch card. By the way, I know you’ve been messing around with Joel.
So it takes a minute for what he’s said to hit you. But when it does, the wave crashes over your shoulders so violently that it throws you to your feet, tasseled pillow whipped to the other side of the couch.
There are tears searing across your eyes. A twisted grimace of a smile on your face, a laugh breaking roughly from your throat. Some crazed, disbelieving, ugly little laugh.
“You – you checked my…my fuckin’ phone. You – you fucking –”
His head jerks back, offended. “Hey, now, listen to me –”
“I’m not listenin’ to another word! Am I twelve?”
You stalk over to the kitchen. The rattle of your dad’s chair tells you he follows.
“Well – you tell me, hon, ‘cause right now, you’re making a lot of real stupid decisions.”
That same ugly laugh echoes around the house. You grip onto the kitchen island. The room starts to wheel.
“Who the hell are you to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do?” you pant, eyes tight shut. Your thumbs begin to slip, sweat gliding between your skin and the counter.
“I’m your father! I’m lookin’ out for you, damnit! You think I wanna be havin’ this conversation with you right now?”
The granite countertop blurs in and out of focus when you open your eyes. You hook onto it, using it to haul yourself around the island until there’s distance between your wobbly figure and his. And you remember one week ago, when the same counter separated you and Joel, and you think of Joel, and think of his fingers around your wrist, and his fist against Knox’s jaw, and his teeth in your neck.
“Look,” your dad’s voice floats somewhere over the image of Joel’s eyes, “let’s just – let’s calm down. You ‘n me – we’re gonna talk this out. We’re gonna have a calm, mature discussion about all of this. You’re gonna tell me exactly what’s been goin’ on, and then I’m gonna head over to Joel’s – alone – and talk to him.”
But his voice doesn’t sound calm. There’s a tremble to it – a tremor as fragile as glass, as thin as ice. It’s crackling as he speaks. He can hardly keep a hold on it himself.
If he goes over to Joel’s – this you know – there ain’t anything calm or mature that will come of it. Suddenly the images in your head warp, and it’s your fingers around Joel’s wrist, someone else’s fist against his cheek, someone else’s teeth and the venom spat between them.
“Dad,” you pant, “it’s over. He ended it. It’s been done for, like, two weeks now. It was nothing.”
“Oh, nothing, was it?” He steps closer. You retreat. Edge further around the counter, further from him. His head tilts, eyebrows curl. He looks like a vulture, eyeing its prey. “Then what were the two of you up to last night?”
“We – we went for ice cream, that’s all. He wanted to make sure I was alright.”
He’s not convinced. And he shouldn’t be, either. He coughs a laugh. “For three hours? You were eatin’ ice cream for three Goddamn hours?” His cheeks wobble as he shakes his head. Then, in a softer voice, like he’s arming himself with a chisel to prick at the weakest parts of the sculpture, “What’d he do to you, girl?”
The marble cracks and snaps wide open. Anger floods out in hot waves. Any composure you’d managed to scrape together flushes clean out of your body.
“Nothing I didn’t want him to fuckin’ do. Stop treating me like I’m some kid who’s – who’s been tricked, or something. I’m twenty-three, Dad, I’m an adult.”
His silence sends another misdirected shot of panic through you.
“I was in on it just as much as he was,” you weep, fingers searching for a scratch of beard or kiss of flannel.
Your dad scoffs then, hands slapping against his thighs, and turns away. “There ain’t no gettin’ through to you,” he announces to the timid living room.
Still bracing yourself against the island, you take the break in his tirade to catch your breath. The only thought running through your head, losing velocity with each circuit, is Joel walking through that door. His face when he notices you with your flushed cheeks and wide eyes. His hands reaching for yours, through all the lies and hurt. Your dad, stood opposite, tight as an arrow and ready to fucking fly for him. Fists balled, teeth bared.
“He doesn’t even know,” you realize, staring at the glow on the floor cast by the front door. “You haven’t told him you know, have you?”
“’course I ain’t told him. I wanted to talk to you first. Not that it’s gotten us anywhere, huh?”
“I’m gonna text him.”
“Hon, don’t you d–”
“I am not having this conversation on my own. There are two people involved here.”
You pull your phone from your pocket and scrawl some messy message to Joel. Three messy messages. Something like he knows everything, can you come over? I need you. Some needy, dramatic, helpless message.
The typing bubble appears for a fraction of a second. So fleeting that you almost miss it through your tears, before it drops back to nothing. He doesn’t reply.
Doesn’t pick up, either, when you call him. Three times in a row. Three missed calls; three Hey, it’s Joel, sorry I missed yous.
The phone rattles off the counter when you drop it, your head falling into your hands. Your dad wanders back over to his armchair and collapses into it with a sigh, his fingers massaging his temples. The two of you mirrored, the same storm circling between you, only ice in his veins and fire in yours.
Fear keeps your feet planted to the kitchen floor; adrenaline alone keeps you upright. Your fingers push hard into your forehead, an ache sat directly behind that dizzies you. Blood thudding its fists against your eyes, screaming in your ears.
How the fuck did this happen? It feels ridiculous to ask, but it’s all you got. When did the two of you get so lazy? Start forgetting to cover your tracks? Or – maybe worse – stop caring enough to even try?
Of course, saying you were with Anna was a dumb fucking move. Her dad is one of your dad’s buddies. One of Joel’s, too. That was always going to fuck it all up. And you were too caught up, too hellbent on seeing Joel, too fucking horny to stop for five seconds and keep your damn story straight.
There’s nothing to say, nothing that might fix this. There’s no winding your way out of it. The trap has you by the throat. Your jaw aches from trying to free yourself.
Your dad sways side to side in his chair, staring silently at the wall ahead of him. Your face burns with shame, with anger, with embarrassment. Your heart stings from the hurt, from wanting Joel here, from his ignoring your pleas for help. And, most annoying of all – from letting your dad down.
It doesn’t matter what you tell yourself. How you spin it. Sure, you’re twenty-three. You can make your own decisions. That much is fucking clear now. Doesn’t mean they’re always good. Even when they make you laugh until your cheeks hurt, make your stomach flip with excitement, make you scream from pleasure.
Make your heart do things you’ve never felt it do before. Things you never knew that it could do.
You let your dad down. He can barely look at you for it. You know damn well that it was worth every second, and yet, right now, nothing but thick, awkward, unbreathable air between the two of you – it feels like it should never have happened.
You’re bent over the counter, head resting on your folded arms, breathing still staggered – when you hear it. The squeal of brakes outside. An engine cutting. A door slamming.
Two knocks on the door, and Joel pushes it open. You’re already in the hallway, watching his heavy head and loose shirt cross the threshold.
He looks up and your eyes meet. His hair’s a mess, he’s in the same tee from last night. He’s gotten straight out of bed and into his truck, and he’s braced, like he doesn’t know what’s coming. Which direction to expect the first punch from.
Your knees weaken at the sight of him. The safe haven of his arms, the home of his chest. The beating pulse behind it whose language you’ve become fluent in. Even now, when everything’s fallen apart, his being here washes relief over you like cool water dousing an inferno. Your body relaxes, your breathing quietens.
Joel nods towards you. You okay?
You shake your head lightly, and he flicks his fingers. You’re in his arms before your brain tells your limbs to move.
“’s okay,” he breathes, lips lined with your ear. His chest is soft, warm; you take fistfuls of his shirt. He strokes your hair, mumbling, “Told you we’ll be alright, yeah? It’s goin’ to be alright.”
You weep into him, lips dripping with salty tears. They part to reply, when a low growl rips between your bodies. Joel loosens his grip and you step back, turning around to face the ghost of your father at the end of the hall.
“Get the hell away from him.”
He advances, takes a few steps forward. You meet him halfway, gripping onto his shirt, planting yourself firmly between him and Joel.
“Woah, woah,” you say, pushing on his small chest, “let’s all just calm down. Dad.”
He’s smaller, scrawnier, older, and weaker than Joel. He’s never going to lift a fucking hand to him. Not if he wants to keep it intact. He wouldn’t square up to a fly, never mind an actual worthy opponent – but your gut tells you to make damn sure he doesn’t even try.
“Get out of the way, hon.”
“No. No way. And let you –? No.”
He’s not even looking at you. You’re nothing but an obstacle. He’s staring a few feet behind.
“Baby,” Joel says, voice weary and surrendered. “It’s alright, now. C’mon, outta the way.”
“Baby?” your dad seethes. “You just call my daughter baby?”
“Called me it as long as he’s known me, Dad.”
“’s different now,” he spits. “What the f–? I mean, what the fuck, Joel? What were you even thinkin’? Putting your Goddamn hands on my daughter?”
You don’t usually hear your dad curse. All through growing up, even when you left home – you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve heard it. It sends a bolt of fear through you as if you’re five years old again, and he can’t do much worse than say bad words in front of you.
You don’t usually see your dad do any of this stuff. Raise his voice, ball his fists. Lean forward, feet planted on the ground, like daring Joel to make the first move. Joel – his best friend. The guy he was supposed to be able to trust more than anyone in the world.
Angry. Furious. And you think: if there were a time he had a right to feel this way, to act like this and throw threats around as though they’re light as air, if ever there were a moment – this would be it. A betrayal. A secret this big.
Joel takes a step forward. He doesn’t seem scared. More – placating. Letting the tantrum run its course. He holds his hands out. “Let’s just – let’s just talk.”
“Talk,” your dad repeats, spitting the word like it’s rotten in his mouth. “You wanna talk? Let’s talk. What the hell have you been doin’ to her? Hm?”
Joel shakes his head, shoulders lifting. “I ain’t been doin’ nothin’ to her. That’s not what this is.”
“Hell,” your dad scoffs, “not what it is. Why don’t you explain to me exactly what it is, then, Joel? If it ain’t you takin’ advantage of a young girl? Takin’ advantage of my kid?”
Your head whips back to face Joel, hand lifting in a bracing motion. He sees it – sees the way your head shakes, imperceptible to your dad. Please don’t tell him. Not yet.
It’s bad enough that he knows you’ve been messing around. It hurts enough that he knows you’ve been lying for the entire summer. Telling him the full story – the conversation in the truck, the words exchanged over ice cream and the quiet tick of traffic lights across the street – would only hurt more. Would only sharpen his anger. He’d ask more questions; he’d drive his dagger deeper.
Joel pleads with you. His eyes do his bargaining. You don’t relent. Please.
“You know what I keep thinkin’ about,” your dad interrupts, “you know what’s runnin’ through my mind? That damn garden party. Those cupcakes. You puttin’ your thumb on her lip. I should’ve known the second you touched her what was happening. You arrogant, shameless son of a bitch, Joel, you got no idea what you –”
“Dad. Enough.”
Sure, you’re trying to calm him down, palms outstretched and motioning like he’s a wild horse, rearing frantically and threatening to crush you. But it also stings to hear him talking about Joel like that. Talking to him like that.
The same Joel he’d sling an arm around, knocking their beers together when the Rangers won. The same Joel you know he’d spent hours sat out back with, talking into the night and sharing stories and secrets with the stars.
The same Joel who covered your legs with his jacket last night, who held you when you were hurting, who reminded you what it was like to feel your heart again, beating rapidly in your chest.
He’s not talking about the same Joel. Not the Joel you know. Yours.
He’s still rambling. “…’n all this time, you pair have been closer ‘n you were lettin’ on.”
“You don’t understand,” you plead, “you don’t know him like I do.”
Your dad scoffs, twisted smirk on his face. “Oh, I know ‘im. I’ve known him a hell of a lot longer and a hell of a lot better ‘n you have, hon. Known him since he was fifteen, askin’ me ‘n my buddies to buy ‘im a case of beer from the liquor store. His little brother in ‘n outta jail like God only knows what. I know exactly what he’s like.”
“What he’s like?” you huff, exasperated. You spin on your heel, arms coming down on your sides with a slap. “Joel, help me.”
“Don’t you dare look at ‘im! Listen, kiddo, I know him. Know what he’s like at Frank’s, takin’ women home left ‘n right, then forgetting their damn names. Know he sure as hell can’t remember that schoolteacher’s name, can you, Joel? You remember her?”
“Quit it,” you tell him over your shoulder, still facing Joel.
Your dad laughs from behind you. It turns your stomach. “I’ll bet he never told you about that one, did he? That’d turn you off ‘im in a heartbeat, wouldn’t it?”
“Nah, he told me about Jess.”
Your dad’s voice cuts. Joel’s head finally lifts, his eyes ungluing from the floor to look at you.
You shrug back. “I figured it out. Sister’s name is Mia – she’s a year younger ‘n me.”
You swear he almost fucking smiles. Almost. It’s funny, or at least, it would be if you weren’t both in the middle of tearing your entire dynamic apart. Any other time, he’d nudge you, or tousle your hair, and say you were too clever for him, or something about being old again.
When you turn back to face your dad, he looks like he’s run out of words. So, he repeats ones he’s already said.
“I…Well, I know him, honey. And he ain’t someone you oughta be with.”
“How’d you figure that?”
He sighs. “I just told you my reasons.”
“’cause he wanted beer when he was a kid and he’s slept with people before? ‘cause Tommy gets himself into trouble – trouble that Joel then gets him out of?”
“No, I –”
“You don’t know a damn thing about any of this. You won’t listen to me. If you’d hear me out – hear us out, then you’d –”
“Don’t you dare tell me I’d change my damn mind. Don’t – you – dare.” Your dad’s voice is quiet and slow. Dangerous. Laced with something you’ve never heard in it before. It’s not worth finding out what.
Your head shakes, knee jerking with nerves. “I don’t…I don’t know what else to say.”
The fire flickers, loses light for a second. His voice softens. “Honey…This –” he waggles his finger between your body and Joel’s, “this thing y’all have been…It ain’t right. It is not right, what y’all have been doin’. You are far too young for him. He should know better, and the fact that he doesn’t – well.”
Your brows tighten, eyes pinching around painful tears. “I know why you’re mad. I get it. I’m sorry. But I can’t –” You sigh. “You are suffocatin’ me, living here.”
His façade drops instantly. He pushes his fingers into his eyes, groaning. “Hon, you’re not hearin’ me.”
“I hear you loud and clear, I –”
He cuts you off, throwing his arms up into the air with another loud yell. The words melt into one long drone, a mountainous ramble which peaks and falls in pitch; one minute low and angry and the next high and frantic.
You sigh, shoving by him for the living room. Joel reaches for your hand, your fingers brushing against his.
“Baby,” he says.
“Ah!” Your dad blocks his advance, shaky finger held to his chest. “You dare, son.”
You’re swipe the bag from the floor by your dad’s chair, your change of clothes still in a crumpled heap at the bottom. Slinging it over your shoulder, you whip past your father and lock your hand with Joel’s.
“Hey,” Joel says, slowing you down. “Darlin’, where are you –?”
“I wanna leave.”
“Huh?” he asks, brows raised.
“I want to go,” you whisper.
He glances over to your dad, dumbfounded by the stairs. “Where d’you wanna go?”
Your shoulders roll. Anywhere. Just take me away.
He doesn’t hesitate; barely thinks it over. He tightens his grip on your hand and pulls you toward him. Your feet stumble over the carpet.
“Where in the hell –?” Your dad’s snarling picks up again, his final chance. “I don’t think so –”
Joel’s backing up towards the front door, led by the pull of your hand. “Emotions are pretty high,” he announces, “why don’t we have this conversation once everybody’s calmed down?”
“Joel, if you take her, I’ll–”
“I ain’t takin’ her anywhere. She’s an adult.”
Liar. His hand wouldn’t let go of yours if you tried to pry it from his clutches.
“I’m leavin’,” he says, “she’s just coming with me.”
Your dad barks your name, and you freeze. Joel stops, too, allows you the time to turn. Like a deer in the headlights.
“I’m going, Dad,” you shakily tell him.
“I swear to God,” he says, “if y’all walk outta that door…”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I didn’t mean for any of this.”
He shakes his head. “Stay, hon. Let’s talk.”
“You’re not talkin’, though. All you wanna do is argue. I wanna go with Joel.”
“You ain’t goin’ nowhere with no one! ‘specially not him!”
You shrug, give your head a solemn shake. “Stop me.”
Joel hears the exhaustion in your voice, the scratch of your throat. The way the words melt into one another. He tugs on your hand, leading you through the front door. Your dad doesn’t speak again, and you don’t turn back to check on him.
The neighborhood is silent in the early morning. Yards empty, curtains still closed. No one, not even the sun, tucked behind a thin veil of cloud, sees when you pile into the front seat of Joel’s truck.
“Baby,” he says, pulling your seatbelt over your body.
Your eyes fix on the asphalt ahead. “Just drive.”
“Hey. Look at me.”
When you turn to him, he takes your jaw in both hands. “I love you,” he says.
“Still?” you squeak, eyes heavy with sleeplessness and tears.
“More.”
“This is fucking insane, Joel.”
He nods. “Yeah. ‘n you’re worth all of it.”
“Hey,” Sarah calls when the two of you spill in through the front door. She’s on the couch, Switch console in hand. “What’s up?”
“We have a – a lodger, for the next…little while,” Joel grumbles, tossing his keys onto the sideboard. He kicks off his boots and slides them to the wall, straightens up and looks to you.
You follow suit wordlessly, slipping out of your sneakers. Joel places them by his.
“Cool,” Sarah says, standing up. “How come?”
“Just – dad trouble,” you whisper, deflated. She’s wandering around the couch. A defeated sound rings from the console hanging from her thumb.
Her head tilts. “I…I got plenty room for you,” she flashes you a warm grin, “it can be like a big-ass sleepover.”
You return her smile, a slow, grateful breath filling your lungs. Joel’s arm wraps over your shoulder as your mouth opens to answer.
“No, uh…” He clears his throat. “She’ll be in my room. With me.”
Sarah’s expression is blank. She blinks between the two of you, arms limp either side of her hips. Your eyes flit from Joel to her and back again, wide, waiting. Waiting for someone to move, or speak, or yell.
Joel looks indifferent. Unbothered. As if he just told her it’s sunny outside.
She takes a step forward, and by instinct, you draw back. “Sarah…” you mutter, and she swings around the newel post. She dodges your outstretched hand, whether accidental or deliberate – you’re not sure.
“No, it’s…Okay. Yeah. I’ll – I gotta…Yeah.”
You watch as she climbs the stairs backwards, still looking from your pleading face to her dad’s stoic. She shrugs, wiggles the Switch and mumbles something about it needing charged, before she’s spinning and taking the last few steps two at a time.
When her bedroom door closes, you slump back. Joel doesn’t let go of your shoulder, catching you and pulling you into his chest.
“Fuck,” you whisper, lips pressed against his tee. He smells like pine, like mint, like you.
“’s okay,” he says into your hair, hand curving the shape of your skull. “She’ll come around. You know Sarah.”
You turn, ear against his chest, listening for his heartbeat. It doesn’t tell you anything new. You miss the days you used to listen for secret messages in the soft rhythm.
Joel’s chin rests on the crown of your head. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says. “None of this is your fault, you hear? None of it.”
“Now you’re just lyin’ to me. You know that ain’t true.”
A hum rumbles against your cheek like the earth readjusting, rearranging beneath your feet. You lift your head, loosen your grip around his waist.
“You need sleep,” he tells you, thumb swiping gently beneath your heavy eyes.
You don’t protest.
Joel takes your hand, leads you mutely upstairs and into his room. His bed’s not made. The shades aren’t even open. He lifts the sea of sheets, tosses them twice in the air and then pulls the corner back, letting you sit on the edge of the mattress.
He undresses you carefully, like your limbs might crack and burst at the slightest touch. He replaces your hoodie with a fresh tee of his own, one that still smells like the world before its end, and you lay back into bed slowly.
It’s shaped like you – the divot in the mattress. You slot back into it like you never left. The curl of your back and the fold of your knees. You’ve left little pieces of evidence all over the place – all over Joel.
He runs a delicate hand across your head, the repetitive movement lulling you off to sleep. Pushing the boat out.
“You need anythin’?” he asks.
You shake your head, arms wrapping tight underneath your pillow. “I’m good,” you whisper, and the waves pull you under.
His bedside lamp is on when you stir, the left half of the room a glowing honey color. His bare leg slotted between yours, your hands intertwined on his chest. His finger drifts back and forth against your palm, the strokes matching your breathing.
You’re still tired, eyes still rolling beneath heavy lids, but when some commentator screams at the game playing on the TV screen, you snap awake.
Joel curses under his breath, begins tearing the bed apart for the remote – but by the time he turns the volume down, your head is propped against his pillow, knuckles rubbing your eyes.
“Sorry, baby,” he sighs, kissing your forehead as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“’s okay.” You flash him a lazy smile. “What time is it?”
“Almost five thirty.”
“Damn,” you mutter. “Slept all fucking day.”
“You needed it,” he says, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “You want some dinner? Or – breakfast?”
You nod. “Sounds good.”
He disappears downstairs. The echoing of pots and pans and the hum of the extraction fan follow in his wake. You groan, stretching out like a starfish across the messy bed, forgetting for just a moment why you’re here, and what’s happened, and how different everything is.
It feels the same, even after eight hours sleep. Same guilt, and shame. Same anger and resentment towards your dad. Same punch to your gut anytime you picture his face, the wrinkled frown. The trembling fist holding your bag in midair.
The blow is soothed only by the swelling of warmth across your chest, looking around the room. The safety you feel here, as though you’re cut off from the rest of the world. Your father on pause the second you left the house; Joel’s room and his bed giving you time to catch your breath and recalibrate.
You’re not thinking about when you’ll have to go back home. You’re just not.
You knot your shorts back around your waist, take one huge swig of the water Joel left for you, and open his bedroom door, your head throbbing with each movement.
There’s a figure at the end of the hall, frozen in space like a phantom.
“Morning,” she says. Her hair is tied back, oversized hoodie over her shoulders.
“Hi.”
“You sleep good?”
“Must’ve. Missed half the day.”
Sarah smiles.
“Are you gonna kill me?”
“Hm,” her head tips back and forth, “not today. Don’t have the energy. Watch your back tomorrow, though.”
For the first time in almost twenty-four hours, a genuine laugh pushes its way past your lips. The knot in your stomach loosens, even if only a little.
“You wanna come help with dinner?” she asks, nodding to the stairs.
You smile. “Please.”
The three of you settle on pasta with some tomato sauce from a jar mixed through. You sit opposite Sarah as Joel sets the plates down, sliding into the seat next to yours with a gentle squeeze on your knee under the table.
The three of you talk. About nothing in particular – college, Rita and her cross stitch, some client of Joel’s whose wife got caught having an affair – but it soothes the ache in your heart. It feels like a blanket over your shoulders, a spot by the fire, a voice in your ear promising you that things are still okay. That they can still be this way: light, alive. The earth is still moving, the stars are still pinned up in the sky. Tomorrow will always come, and the day after that.
Sarah asks about LA. You tell her you didn’t know she knew. She grins and says, “Well, now that I do – you better put an application in.”
You hum around the fork between you lips. “Maybe.”
“Come on. The two of us out there together? For six whole months? You gotta do it. Tell me you don’t wanna do it. Are you gonna do it?”
Joel casts her a glower, his stony expression pushing her back in her chair.
Your eyes shift from hers over to his. He runs a slice of garlic bread around the curve of his plate, coating it in sauce, before he notices you staring. His face breaks into a tiny smirk.
“I don’t know,” you decide, turning back to Sarah. “I still gotta think it through.”
She nods earnestly. “Yeah, you should sleep on it. And then, first thing tomorrow, we’re doing it.”
The two of you let her have the final say, falling quiet until some new conversation is shifted onto the table, and then another, and then another. When you’re done eating, Sarah takes your hand and drags you back upstairs.
Sarah Miller’s bedroom has been baby pink for as long as you can remember. Joel painted it one summer while she was at camp, eliciting help from your dad to shift all the furniture. As she grew up, she covered the walls in posters, changed the sheets, changed the curtains, strung fairy lights to distract from what she saw as a kiddish color.
But she never asked to change it. Always wanted the same blushing pink her dad had picked out when she was ten – even if secretly.
Her blinds are tilted, golden light from the slowly lowering sun filtering through onto her carpet, stained with tiny dabs of nail polish. She throws herself down onto the bed, her curls igniting brown in the summer light, and you slowly sink down beside her.
“Nice Zayn poster,” you note, pointing to the straight-browed, dark-haired figure painted in a moody grayscale on her ceiling. “Interesting placement.”
“Was so I could dream about him every night.”
“You didn’t wanna take him to California?”
“Didn’t have to,” Sarah smiles, tapping her temple, “he’s all up here, baby.”
You snort. Your eyes flutter closed; hands clasped on your stomach. She sighs contentedly by your side, listening to the chatter of birds out front.
“I miss this,” she says eventually, her voice smooth and soothing. She elbows you lightly.
“Me too,” you reply. And then, with a deep breath: “Sarah…are you okay?”
When she turns back, the sunlight catches in her eyes. They twinkle, like she’s some doe-eyed Disney character. Someone who might be able to wiggle her fingers and make the last day disappear.
“Am I okay?”
“Yeah. With…everything.”
She shrugs, mumbles an I dunno. “What can I do about it? It’s weird, but…it’s none of my business. I guess…I guess if y’all are happy, then – you know. I’m gone half the time, anyways.”
“It is your business, too, though,” you tell her. “I don’t wanna make you feel weird.”
“I think you got bigger things to worry about right now. Sounds like your dad’s pretty mad.”
You sigh, looking back up to the boyband poster. “Yeah. He’s pretty mad.”
“My dad told me what happened. Well, parts. I can kinda guess the rest. Can’t really blame him, I guess.”
You shrug. “Guess not, but then…I am twenty-three, y’know? I’m not a kid. I can make my own mind up.”
She’s still staring at you, but you don’t return her glance. Something tells you that you already know what it says. Still, she verbalizes it.
“Would you be okay if I slept with your dad?”
That is so not what I thought you were gonna fuckin’ say.
You shoot her a look. “What?”
“’m askin’. Would you be okay with it, if I –”
You lift your hand to shut her up. “That is…so totally different.”
“How is that different?” she scoffs.
“Because…because…my dad’s not hot.”
Sarah gags.
“And – and also you’re not friends with him. It’s just different, alright?”
“You were friends with my dad?”
You’re laughing with her now. You can hear how pathetic your justification sounds. “Kinda, yeah. I was close to ‘im.”
“Yeah, that much is obvious, now, babe.”
You smack her arm and she giggles.
“I think he’ll come around. Your dad.”
“I don’t. Not ever.”
“Why wouldn’t he? His best friend would become his son-in-law, I would become his granddaughter-in-law –” She gasps and props herself up on her elbow, staring you down. “Does this make you, like, my stepmom?”
You spit out a laugh, and Sarah throws her head back against her pillow, clutching her belly.
“You’re my fuckin’ mom, dude!”
“Don’t you fucking dare!” you reply, covering your face with your hands. “Aw, fuck,” you breathe, giggling.
You settle back into the bed, your heads leaning against one another as you stare up at Zayn and his audience of glow-in-the-dark stars. Sarah hums something softly to herself, her ankle rocking, her fingers tapping.
The two of you were raised together. Sisters, when neither of you knew what that word really meant. You figure she’s as close as you could find – someone who reflects all of your favorite parts of yourself and who calls out the uglier ones without hesitation. Someone who comforts you with a punch to the arm, a mocking quip about your hair or the something in your teeth. A safe little secret keeper, for all of your wildest dreams and biggest fears.
“I guess this is all why you were so down in the dumps last night, right? Your dad knew then?”
You shake your head. “Not at that point. He found out after we all left. Realized it all on his own. It’s all just…so fucking stupid…”
She sighs. “My dad – if he…if he makes you happy, then I don’t even know. As long as I don’t have to see it – we’re cool.”
One cinderblock of weight lifts from your chest, allowing a rugged breath to escape. “Wish my dad would take a leaf outta your book,” you mumble.
“He’s just mad,” Sarah says. “He’s just mad, and he’ll eventually calm down.”
“Doesn’t matter even if he does calm down,” you reply. “My dad has more of a…restrictive parenting approach.”
“Can you really parent a twenty-three-year-old?”
“He finds a way to try.”
She scoffs, saying, “I get it. My dad’s more, try it ‘n see. Your dad is, like, try it ‘n see…what your punishment is.”
You both erupt into laughter, and Sarah reaches for the TV remote.
“Exactly,” you tell her, tugging on the hem of Joel’s shirt. “Although, if your dad found out you were with my dad, I don’t think he’d be cool with it, either.”
“Yeah,” she smirks, flicking through Netflix titles, “y’all got what you deserved.”
The sound of Sarah’s bedroom door closing over stirs you. Her room is the color of rust; the stream of amber sunlight on the carpet replaced by that of the streetlights. Beneath the door, the sliver of light is shifted by the sway of a silhouette walking off down the hall.
Sarah’s snoring quietly beside you, still in her jeans. Keeping an eye on her, you roll off the bed and creep towards the door, a slow groan coming from the handle as you twist it. Joel’s at the opposite end of the hall, disappearing into his room as you shut Sarah back into her warm slumber.
“Thought you were sleepin’,” he whispers when you slip into his room. He’s already sat in bed, leant against the headboard. The room a thick darkness, a black cloud of dusk spiraling around you and cutting you off from the rest of the world.
“Heard you come in.” You wander over, pausing at the side of the bed. “Wanna stay with you.”
“C’mere,” he says, holding a hand out. You take it, pulling yourself into his lap. He slips his hands under the hem of your shorts, fingertips brushing the crests of your hipbones. “You okay?” he asks, thumbs swiping gently on the seam of your thigh.
“Never better. You?”
He sighs in response and looks off to the window, the light catching his eye. You tilt your head and bend forward, kissing below his ear. He smells like whiskey. You breathe it in, inhaling like the sharp scent might fold you under a numb blanket of inebriation, too.
Joel takes a fistful of your hair and pulls you from his neck, watching the shift in your expression before he kisses you – steady, bracing. The first time since everything went so wrong.
For a few minutes you pretend nothing has changed – you’re still sneaking around, shushing one another; someone’s in the next room, there are still secrets to be kept. You slip your shorts down your legs, kicking them over the side of the bed; Joel’s sweatpants follow soon after. His hands surrender and you push up on his chest, dragging your core against his stubborn crotch, lips never losing contact. Tongues rolling against one another, noses bumping; a tangle of breath between you until you’ve no idea which is yours and which is his.
It’s all you know how to do, after all. It’s how this started, it’s how it got out of control. The two of you taking out your needs on one another. Right now is no different. You need to feel something other than the dread in the pit of your stomach, the ache in your heart anytime you look at him and know he feels it, too.
You come up for air and suddenly the feeling dissipates; doubt sets back in and fear washes over you like ice water. Your hips cease, Joel’s hands lift from your body. He pushes the hair from your face to find his own expression mirrored in yours.
Everything has changed.
You watch his movements, the light trace of his finger on your bare skin, the pinch of fabric as he adjusts his boxers. The careful movements of his own hips, trying not to incite anything more.
“I love you,” you offer, when he doesn’t say anything. Whispered, like it’s a question, like something to dangle in front of him to make him bite.
At the very least, it unsticks his gaze from the cotton print over your chest and back up to your face – where he softens and says, “Oh, darlin’. I love you, too.”
He gives you a squeeze and pulls you by the shoulders closer, letting you feel his lips on yours again and again, until you’re out of breath. You nuzzle your head under his jaw, the rise and fall of his chest and the steady beat of his heart at your ear.
Joel trails his hands up and down your spine. He breaks the silence first – stammers his way through a question you’re not sure how to answer.
“Was I – was I hurtin’ you? All this time?”
You lift your head, looking blankly at him. “What –?”
“Was I hurting you?”
“Hurting me?”
He nods. “Everythin’ we were doin’. Everything we’ve done. You wanted me to be doing it, right?”
He looks…scared, as though forty years have been shaved from him over the course of one day. Eyes glassy like he might burst into tears; bottom lip almost trembling with uncertainty.
You sit up and cup his face; he breathes a sigh of relief when you look him dead in the eye and say, “I wanted you to be doing all of it.”
“All of it?” he repeats.
“Yes,” you nod, “nothing you ever did ever hurt me.”
He lowers his gaze. “’cept when I left.”
“You came back.”
His thumb curves beneath the slip of fabric on your hips, toying with the elastic. There’s more in his question, you know it. He’s not convinced by a word you say.
“It’s just…all such a fuckin’ mess,” he groans, fingertips massaging his forehead.
You hesitate, unwilling to agree and unable to disagree. It is a fucking mess – that much is true. But if that’s all it is, then why does your heart pause for breath whenever you see him? Why does the mere thought of his presence, the tiniest glimpse of him – why does it all send your stomach somersaulting?
How can something supposed to be so bad, make you feel so fucking good?
“It was wrong of me,” Joel says, “to flirt with you that night I first saw you again. To put you in that position. But I did, and we ended up here. And I’m glad we did, baby, you know I am, but…it’s on me. This thing with you ‘n your dad.”
“You don’t think he should back off a little? Don’t think he’s oversteppin’ a mark, even a tiny bit?”
He shakes his head. “I’d do the damn same, ‘n you know it. I shoulda known better. Shouldn’ta let it happen. You mean more to me than the world, and I – I caused all this hurt for you.”
Sure, it’s real noble of him to take all of the blame, but it wasn’t just him. You had a part in it, too: your batting eyelashes, your hands where they shouldn’t have been. Your jaw tightens when he says it, holding back from telling him you want as much responsibility in this as he’s taking, even if he won’t allow it.
But an argument with Joel, right off the back of one with your father, isn’t really something you need. It wouldn’t help anything. So, you swallow your words and whisper new ones.
“You shouldn’t have flirted with me?”
His eyebrows flick, concern knotting them together. He sits up, scooping you in his arms. “I meant I should’ve never let it get to this point.”
“’n what about the first time you touched me?”
The memory plays between you: the weight of him on your body, the sound of the stereo system firing up downstairs. One hand between your legs and the other pinching your heart.
The light in your eyes starts to bleed through your body into Joel’s, distorting the projected image of that scene in your bedroom. It ignites somewhere low, travelling upwards until his stare locks with yours: an understanding weaving between you both.
You lean back from him, drinking in the sight. “Nothin’ but trouble, right? That’s what you said, that first night. You knew damn well where it might go. ‘n you still wanted it, just as bad.”
“Darlin’, I’m not sayin’ I didn’t, I –”
“No, no, I get it. I get it.”
You push his shoulders to the mattress. Fire in your belly, some kind of twisted energy pumping through your veins, you grind down on him again.
That thing, about this being all you know how to do? About taking your needs out on each other?
Right now, you need distraction. You need something to tire you out, to drain you of energy, to stop your thoughts for five minutes. You need someone to hold you, and love you, and make you feel good. Joel’s the perfect distraction.
He’s still hard. You’re still wet. It’s easy.
You drag your hips lazily over his, cotton riding against lace. He’s growing harder, bigger; he’s pushing up into you. You respond by pushing down, and Joel groans.
“Hey,” he takes hold of your thighs, “baby, we don’t have to –”
“Then, let’s stop.”
He says nothing.
You reach down past the band of his boxers and take him in your hand. He bites back a moan, his head falling into the pillow. You’re stroking him: long, hard strokes, fist tightening around him, fingers dipping between your folds to apply your slick to his length.
“Say the word, Joel. We’ll stop,” you pant, unsure if even you buy the words you’re saying. “You said it: none of this should’ve ever happened. You should’ve never laid a finger on me.”
His arms lift, throbbing biceps curving around his pillow and crumpling it against his skull. He doesn’t tell you to stop, because he doesn’t fucking want you to. He needs this – needs you as much as you need him, needs you more than he needs the air in his lungs.
And you’re right: it is different now. Now, it’s out in the open. The whole world could know, for all the two of you care. And maybe that’s the kick to it, now. No more hiding. No more fleeing from shadow to shadow.
You tug his underwear down and lower yourself, dragging your folds up and down the width of him while sticky precome gathers at his tip, dappling the trail of hair from his navel. And when you can’t do it anymore, when the mere sight of him drenched in your arousal threatens to send you over the edge, you line him up to your entrance and sink down, slow.
He moans into the pillow, fabric muffling your favorite sound in the world. And he doesn’t stop, his chest doesn’t stop rumbling until you reach his hilt, where he gasps.
“Darlin’,” he whimpers, hands coming back down to hold you in place.
You bat them away. “Uh-uh,” you tut, pinning his wrists above his head. “Not a – fuckin’ – finger.”
Joel grits his teeth, eyes locking onto yours, directly above him as you slide up off his cock, hips circling as you do, and then back down. Your free hand curves around his ribcage, the solid flesh of his torso stabilizing you.
“Poor baby,” you coo, pouting your lip. “Can’t even touch me. Can’t put a hand on your girl when you need to most.”
“Fuckin’ – whore,” he grunts, and your hips grind to a halt. You release his wrists.
“That what you think of me?” you ask, sitting upright on his lap. Joel’s still buried deep inside you.
“No,” he’s breathing, lips curling, “no, baby. Keep goin’.”
“I’m not the one goin’ back on my word here.”
He flashes a thick, filthy smile. “I know, I know. Go on. Make me proud.”
You lean forward again and he sighs, the feel of your wet cunt wrapping like satin around him.
“You think he’d trust you, anyway, after everythin’?” you mewl. “Think he thinks I’m in a different room right now? Tucked up in bed, safe ‘n sound? Nah, baby, he knows. He knows what you’re doin’ right now. Keep your hands off me? You can’t keep your cock outta me.”
Joel moans in agreement, hands gripping into the sheets to ground himself, hips bucking up against yours. You place your hands either side of him on the mattress and start to bounce, skin slapping, bed shaking.
“You like that, huh?” you moan, feeling the sharp kiss of his head at your cervix. Nudging, nudging, nudging. Blunt pain, blissful pleasure. “Like me riding it. Takin’ what I – oh, fuck – what I need.”
He lets out a guttural moan, writhing around underneath you. It’s like he’s forgotten where he is, forgotten you guys aren’t alone in the house; drunk on the sight, smell, sound, and feel of you on him, not even trying to stifle his sounds anymore.
You close your eyes and hope Sarah doesn’t wake anytime soon.
You’re keeping the façade up for Joel, but on the inside, you feel the exact same. His words echo in your ears, shouldn’ta let it happen, and how quickly that melted into make me proud. Your head starts to swim, your eyes heavy, your body trembling.
The thatch of hair at the bottom of his cock brushes against your clit, a gasp drawing between your teeth. Pain begins to rip upwards on the inside of your thighs, forcing you forward.
“Joel,” you pant, leaning over him. “Fuck.”
“Gotta let me touch you, baby,” he whispers, hands lifting beneath the fabric of your shirt. His fingers ghost across the curve of your shoulders. “You need it, don’t you?”
You whimper in response and Joel slips past the moment of weakness, taking a strong grip of both shoulders and pulling himself upright on the mattress. The tee slips from your body in one breath, and his hands follow the incline of your neck to your jaw, holding you steady as he fucks up into you.
“You want me to fill you up?” he asks, leaning back with a palm flat on the bed behind to watch himself disappear between your legs.
You’re nodding desperately. “Mhm.”
“Gotta ask nicely, remember? Be a good girl for me?”
“Dick,” you hiss, draping your arms over his shoulders.
He pouts. Sweat gleams on his upper lip. His voice cracks, weakens like stone beginning to crumble. “’s not v-very n-ice, baby.”
“Comeinme,” you beg, your fingers swirling around the dark hair at the bottom of his skull. “Please, come in me.”
“Atta-girl,” he groans, and his hands instantly lock on your hips. You don’t stop him this time, letting him push you down as hard as he can onto his cock, coming as deep inside you as he can.
And then – that familiar feeling of being his. Filled with him, your eyes and your nose and your mouth and your cunt spilling with the sight, smell, taste and feel of him. He coats your walls, throbs deep inside you as he claims every tiny corner of your body.
He growls as his cock twitches, and you watch his expression go from determined, to blissful, to fucking exhausted when he stills and his head rolls forward into your chest. His breath hot and staggered between your breasts; light kisses peppered onto damp skin.
You watch him through a post-sex haze, the air between you thick and blurry, as he presses his lips into your chest. He sucks along the cushion of your breast until he reaches the nipple, lips cupping around it, tongue flicking with all the effort he has left in him.
When he lifts his head again, one final kiss to your sensitive flesh, you balance his chin under your thumbs.
“You come?” he asks, the words propelled by a heavy exhale.
You shake your head slowly. “I’m tired, anyway.”
“Alright,” Joel groans, flipping you over. He pushes your thighs apart, his spend leaking from your slit and running southwards.
“Joel,” you giggle, “c’mon, I’m tired. You don’t have to –”
He’s already pushing himself lower, whipping the dark cotton tee from his shoulders and brushing his naked chest over your stomach. You lower your arms to hook under his.
“Hey. Come here a sec.”
Joel blinks up at you. “What’s up?”
“Just – come here.”
He kneels back up to you, hovering over you with his hands under your shoulders. His limp cock lies against the inside of your thigh as he lowers his weight onto your hips. You tilt your head, mapping his face.
Your knuckle runs across his cheek, the jagged bristle of his beard on your warm skin. Like running your hand under water, unable to tell whether it’s scalding hot or freezing cold – there is no saying whether you’re so used to him now that the feel of him is unaffecting, or entirely all-consuming. There’s no middle ground. Not anymore.
“I know –” You sigh, your voice swollen with a soft cry. There’s no stopping the tears anymore. They just come. “I know you think you should’ve known better. But I am so fucking glad that you didn’t.”
It’s done nothing but pour all day. You woke up this morning to the rain battering against Joel’s window, your body hooked against his by his arm.
Day four. Still no call, no text, no nothing from your dad. You haven’t exactly returned the favor – the closest you dared was having Sarah drive you to your house while he was at work so you could dip into the hallway, grab your car keys, and drive straight back to Joel’s. You pulled up in his driveway alongside each other and she rolled her window down, checking your expression before snorting.
It’s like a damn Mission: Impossible film, she jested.
The pain feels blunter, more distant than it did on Saturday. Like your father has bowed his head, faded some into the dark background of upstage. You realize, a few days in – the movie nights and the meals homecooked by three chefs; the way Joel’s scent starts to become yours, his T-shirts hanging loose over your shoulders and his boxers snug against your hips – that you forget to check on the shadow of your dad. Forget the spot he once stood in, the thunderous cloud cast over his head. The same one that so regularly used to pour rain over you.
Sarah went out with her friends a few hours ago. She called to say she’d miss dinner, so you and Joel ordered Chinese. You’re sat with your legs in his lap picking away at some noodles, scrolling mindlessly on your phone while he catches up on some baseball highlights show.
“Fuckin’ – idiots,” he mumbles, fork angrily picking at rice.
Your eyes don’t lift from the Instagram caption you’re reading. “Fuckin’ idiots,” you flatly agree.
Joel’s head turns. “Alright, Miss Big Rangers Fan. I remember a time you pretended to be into ‘em to get my attention.” He attempts to grab your phone, and you swipe it from his grasp.
“Shut up,” you giggle, grabbing hold of your takeout box. “Joel – be careful!”
He snorts, settling back into the couch, changing the TV channel. You give his thigh a little kick, tugging your blanket up. As the TV switches from one showing to the next, your phone buzzes.
You glance down, chopsticks halfway to your mouth, and freeze.
Dear Candidate…
“Joel.”
“Hm?” he asks, eyes glued to the flickering screen.
“Joel.”
“Yes, darlin’?”
You unstick your stare from the phone, looking up to meet his perplexed expression. “They got back to me.”
He squints for a second before the remote is dropped to the cushion. “And?”
“I don’t know, I just saw the first line.”
“Open it, baby. C’mon. Whatever it is, you gotta know.”
“You know what,” you shrug, “I’m good. I don’t need to know. It’s all good.”
“Hey.” Joel snaps his fingers scooping your gaze from the floral, bohemian name on the header of the email and up to his own. “Open it, or I’m kickin’ you out.”
You mock gasp. “You’d put me out on the streets?”
“Worse. Put you back to your dad’s. Now open the email.”
Your thumb trembles as it hovers over the screen, one tap away from the biggest change in your life since you left for New York. Like it’s five years ago, and you’re sat in front of your laptop, psyching yourself up to open the response to your college application.
“Okay,” you breathe, slamming your thumb down. Joel leans in, staring at the screen from upside down.
It swipes across and your eyes flit down, focusing hard on the sentence beneath the opening line. You blink rapidly, waiting for the wash of tears to clear and dissolve it to Unfortunately, or After careful consideration, or We appreciate your interest.
But it never does.
Invite to interview stares back up at you, waiting for your face to break. Expectant, a little nervous. Jittering inside your shaking fist. Joel breaks first, when he spots it.
He almost throws his food onto the coffee table, taking your container from your hands and bundling you up in his. He pulls you into his body, presses heavy kisses to the crook of your neck as you laugh, your entire body quaking with joy and terror and relief and anxiety.
“What’d I tell you?” he says, kissing you roughly. “I knew it, babygirl. I knew you would – Fuck, I am so fucking proud of you.”
“It’s just –” sniff, “– it’s just an interview, remember. I might not get it, in the end.”
Joel shakes his head. “I don’t care. You’re a damn sight closer to gettin’ it than you were three days ago.”
You sit for probably twenty minutes, laughing and then weeping and then laughing again – until the food is cold, there’s a new episode of South Park rolling on TV, and Joel’s T-shirt is soaked with your tears.
“I gotta call Sarah,” you whisper, finger sifting through his hair. Your head buried in his neck, your knees either side of his hips.
“She’s going to lose her fuckin’ mind,” he mumbles into your shoulder, laughing to himself. “She’ll sit off-camera in the corner of the room, so they can’t see her, ‘n hold up cue cards.”
You giggle, letting it dissipate into something weaker, something unconvinced. In a small voice, you say, “We just got one step closer to being four states apart.”
He looks up at you, curving a hand around your jaw, and pulls your lips against his. It’s slow, tender – his every thought and feeling translated into physical movement, transformed into a spin of butterflies in your chest.
When you pull away from him, smiling dumbly, he clips your cheek. “That scare you?”
You hesitate, afraid to tell him the truth. But it’s Joel. He knows every thought that passes through your head. You nod, eyes filling with a salty sting.
“Why?” he asks.
You glance out to the street. “’cause I love you. I don’t wanna leave you.”
Joel nods. Considers it. Then says, “You know why it doesn’t scare me?”
You lift your eyebrows in response. Why?
“Because I love you. And we are gonna be just fine.”
And you believe him.
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mgc02 · 3 months
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Fix it
Platonic Alastor x tech savy/graphic designer reader
He didn't quite understand you
In fact people never expected you to be friends, and it certainly didn't start put that way
You started out working at Voxtech, you spent hours designing advertisements and editing commercials but when Vox told you to start working for Valentino and editing his porn videos you refused. Vox gave you an ultimatum: work for Valentino or be fired. So with no job you decided to try your hand at redemption
You didn't count on Vox's greatest enemy being the facility manager
At first Alastor threatened you. Suspecting you might be a spy since you were associated with Vox but Charlie convinced him to give you a chance
So he mostly ignored you. Keeping conversations short. Especially since it seemed you guys had absolutely nothing in common
Charlie wanted to find away to put your skills to use for the good of the hotel. You suggested creating a website
Charlie loved that idea so you got to it. You designed and developed it. You made it simple but eye catchy. And you decided to regularly upload edited videos of the shenanigans going on the hotel to attract new patrons (and to give yourself some fun).
Charlie being the person that she is wanted Alastor and you to get along better so she came up with the brilliant idea for you to interview him and create a page on the website for first hand accounts
Alastor agreed and as long as it was not a filmed interview
You had prepared a list of questions
Q. Why did you decide to join the hotel?
A. I decided to help the pathetic princess in her silly little dream to watch others fail miserably in attempt to change their already determined fates as entertainment for myself
Q. What has been your favorite moment here at the hotel?
A. Possibly when Niffty released an entire colony of roaches into Angel's bed. That was quite hilarious!
Q. What progress do you think you or someone else has made thus far that's worth mentioning?
A. I finally managed to get my new radio tower to look exactly like the old one. It was nice gesture really. But I do have preferred place for everything
After that you didn't know if Charlie was still going to be for this idea
You really didn't think you and Alastor would ever see eye to eye until one night you woke up to a knock on your door
You jumped out of bed still in your pajamas and opened the door to see Alastor standing there
You were... quite surprised. He told you he needed your help and it couldn't wait till morning
You followed him to his radio tower to see his system short circuiting. He warned you not to get to close or you'd get a nasty shock
"You're the one who deals with this technology stuff, fix it!" You thought to point out the two issues here
1. You don't fix technology, you utilize it to make things
2. This radio recording system is really old and you only knew what you were doing with MODERN technology
But you could tell he was very agitated. You wondered how it even got broke in the first place
You decided to do the only thing you could think and you Voxtubed it
You found some weird guy with obsession for fixing ham radios and old vintage tvs and watched a few of his videos. After assessing the broken system there were a lot of similarities. And after one boring audio book and online purchase of some parts you fixed it
Alastor was impressed. He tried very hard not show it but he couldn’t help it.
Before he could get back to it. You decided to listen to last chapter of the audio book one last time to make sure it was up to code. Unfortunately you forgot to connect your Bluetooth
Alastor standing in the tower with impatiently tapping his foot waiting for you to give the ok so he can give his listeners a much delayed broadcast stiffened at the sound coming from your phone and static buzzed loudly in the air
"Lovely I imagine the imagery to this is just flashy and distracting as it always is" he says rather annoyed
"Actually" you replied "it's an audio book. There is no visuals. It's just sound. Someone reads aloud a book and records it for people to listen to" you pointed out
It was not that much different from radio
You apologized and told him you would connect back to your headphones so he didn't have to hear it
"You may leave it on" he said surprisingly. So you did
Finally when you were done you went about your business. Everything went back to normal. Except... Alastor kept calling upon you before every broadcast demanding you play your audio book again to look over his system to make sure it won't crash on him mid broadcast
And each time he told you there was no need for your headphones
You finally decided to grow a pair and challenge him
"Once again I'd like you to check it over and make sure it's up to code. Play your dumb sound book again and get to it" he spoke as if the audio book did not matter at all but you knew better
"Oh I have it memerized by now. No need to play it again" you responded mischievously
His eyes narrowed and you could hear the sound of a record scratch. "Now, now. I won't allow for any mistakes that would not end well for you. Now play it again" he demanded
"You know if you liked the audio book you could just say so. Also you don't have to listen to the same end chapter over and over again. I have other probably more exciting books" you proposed
He acted offended. "How dare you insinuate that I would enjoy something as pointless and boring as that." Of course he didn't want to admit that anything that came from technology could possibly be good in any way and he could never ACTUALLY like it. No way
"You know its not a lot different from radio. Telling stories with just your voice. Like any kind of art this is just another medium. Another way of expressing oneself. You don't have to suddenly be Mr. Technology guy to like audio books" you said
Alastor seemed to pause in thought. "Hmmm... fine. I guess... it wasn't too horrible to listen to literature being read aloud in a soothing voice. Maybe I'll give some other pieces a try"
And after that you were at the radio tower all the time. Playing audio books for him. You eventually showed him your art skills and showed off the new website. He taught you a lot about his Era and about radio. You guys even redid the interview live on his radio show. Though the results were still quite similar
Though Alastor still hated technology he respected that it was something you enjoyed. And he did listen to the occasional audio book, although it was more like he made you play it for him
An unlikely friendship had formed. And nobody saw it coming. But you wouldn't trade it for the world
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justdontaskme · 1 year
Text
A Promise to Keep (Alexia Putellas x Reader)
A/N: Hello! I got a request and a sudden spurt of inspiration. If seems a little all over the place, I apologize, I wrote it quickly in one sitting and feel like it might be the best it'll get. Please let me know what you think or anything else you want to see.
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After your morning training session, all you really wanted to do was to head home and cuddle with Nala until your second session later today. So, you bid your teammates farewell with a promise to see them later. 
Preseason had been going well, but it was quite obvious the number of gaps missing as many of your players were still out representing at the World Cup. Speaking of missing players, your phone started ringing just as you entered your apartment. You placed your bag down, scooping up Nala as you made your way over to the couch. 
“Hola, mi amor,” Alexia greeted you over the phone, a tired but happy smile on her face at finally seeing your face today. 
“Hi, Ale. Say hi to mama, Nala,” you said, grabbing one of Nala’s little paws and waving it at the camera. You listened as Ale talked to Nala all about what she had done today and how much she missed her. 
Eventually, Nala got bored, and you placed her back on the floor to roam the apartment. You turned sideways, using the arm of the couch as a backrest, pulling your feet up to stretch across the seats. 
“Are you okay, Ale?”
“I wish you were here,” she mumbled, and even though you knew it wasn’t meant with any malice, you couldn’t help but detect that tone of bitterness in her voice, just hitching at the very end. 
You sighed deeply, not really wanting to replay a fight you two have been enduring for the last few weeks now. 
“I miss you,” you said instead, trying not to feed into another inevitable fight. “Enjoy this while you can, you’ll be home soon.”
“I’m here, and you’re there. How am I supposed to enjoy this when you are sitting back home when you could have been here.”
“Ale,” you started, your voice soft and gentle, trying to soothe her before she worked herself into a frenzy. “This is your moment, don’t worry about me.”
“But this is supposed to be our moment,” she said, her voice raising slightly. “You and me. It was supposed to be us. Now, I’m here by myself.”
“You’re not alone, Ale,” you reminded her, asking her to lean on her teammates for strength in this monumental moment. 
“It’s not the same, and you know it. We made a promise.”
You turned the phone away from yourself for a second, allowing your face to fall forward into your knees. She was right. The two of you had made a promise to each other that you would do whatever it takes to be on the grandest stage of the World Cup together. 
“I know, but you and I both know why I’m here. I’ve made peace with this situation. I hate it, but I wouldn’t have done anything different.”
“Not even to be with me?” Alexia knew she was selfish and wrong for asking that, but she had been struggling to really find her footing this tournament, and to have you thousands of miles away wasn’t helping. Her feelings were taking over. She felt like she was floundering, one second away from drowning every step of the way. 
“Ale, as much as I’d love to be there with you, I can’t put myself in that situation again. Not unless things change,” you said.
While you loved and enjoyed your time on the national team, there was so much going on behind the scenes that many people didn’t know about. Unfortunately, it had taken a huge mental toll on you, a toll you were still paying to this day and maybe for the rest of your life. 
“You always said you and I could get through everything together. Why is this any different? Why can’t we get through this together?” Her voice was strained and you knew she was not going to back down on this tonight. 
“Alexia, let’s not go down this road tonight. You have a big game tomorrow. Let’s not do this right now.”
“I’m suffocating. I feel like I can’t even take a step without everyone criticizing my form and my right to be here. And now I’m here telling you that I need you, and you just push it aside,” she yelled, causing you to almost drop your phone. 
“Hold on, Alexia. That’s not what I said.”
“But it’s what you meant.”
“Don’t go putting words in my mouth. You know I hate when people do that,” you warned her, feeling yourself slowly losing your temper as well. 
“And I hate when people go back on their word, yet you did and I let you.”
That stopped you for a moment. Everything Alexia has been saying all made sense. But you couldn’t just take a whole month off especially with preseason starting just to follow her halfway around the world. 
It didn’t stop you from feeling guilty for not being there when she needed you. Since she had gone, the time difference had really made its mark on your relationship, speaking much less often than normal. Calls were either less frequent or shorter in comparison to the ones just before the group stages started. 
You hated yourself for not noticing how much Alexia was apparently struggling throughout this month apart. Each call you remember trying to comfort and reassure her you were her biggest fan, but she didn’t just need some to believe in her, she needed your full support in fighting the demons in her heads that have been there since she went down before the Euros.
“Ale,” you tried to form a coherent sentence. One that was genuinely what she needed to hear without feeling forced. 
“No, you know you were right. I have a game tomorrow. I should get some rest.”
Before you could say anything else, she hung up on you. You tossed your phone to the other side of the couch, sitting in silence as the pent up anger from this and previous fights coupled with an insurmountable amount of guilt bubbled inside of you. 
****
From your seat next to Patri, your hands curled into fists when you saw Alexia being subbed off, knowing that she wasn’t happy with the decision, and even worse, she’ll be upset with the way she had played with the limited minutes she had. 
You started to worry and feel a twinge of guilt, wondering if your fight last night had anything to do with her performance today. You quickly shook your head, tossing the idea out of your head and reminding yourself that Alexia was a professional and she wouldn’t let something like that mess with her game. She must just have had an off day.
Things from the night before were still unresolved, but you hoped that it would all work itself out when you spoke to her later.  
It was a bittersweet win. You were in tears seeing the absolute happiness on the players’ faces, especially Alexia’s, yet when you turned to Patri and Mapi, you knew they already understood the feelings you were fighting.
Mapi came over and draped an arm over your shoulders, nodding her head without saying anything. There were only a few who would truly understand what you were feeling as you watched the Spanish national team reach heights that were before unachievable. And they managed to do it all without you and your fellow teammates. 
You waited by the phone all night, but never got anything from your girlfriend. You had tried calling once, but it had gone straight to voicemail, and you figured that it meant that she wasn’t ready to hear from you yet. 
Then, you reached out to Ona, who assured you that Alexia was okay and that she would keep an eye on her for you. You then asked her to pass on your congratulations and her love, which she easily agreed to. Thanking the younger girl, you went about making the necessary arrangements for your trip. 
****
As you stepped into the stadium, you were in awe of the atmosphere. The crowds of people here for this game, cheering along and choosing sides, even though their own nations have already gone home. It was a full stadium of people here to love and champion the game everyone loved. A wave of sadness swept through you as you imagined what could have been. 
You were supposed to be experiencing this with all your friends, the grass beneath your feet, not the concrete of the seating area. You should have been out there decked out in your Spanish uniform, your name and number proudly on your back, instead of being in the stands with your girlfriend’s name and number on. 
You let yourself wallow for a minute more before quickly reminding yourself why you were really here. While you continue to wish things were different, you didn’t regret your choices, but now you were to live with the consequences of those choices. 
Instead of dwelling, you stood on your feet, cheering along with the rest of the Spanish fans as both teams made their way out for warmups. You cheered loudly anytime Alexia touched the ball, but with all the people in the stadium, you doubted she could hear you.
Once the Spanish team finished warming up and started heading into the locker rooms, you did your best to catch Alexia’s eyes without making a big show. As far as you knew, Alexia didn’t even know you were here. 
Eventually you managed to make eye contact with Ona who sent you a bright smile before rushing over to Alexia and pointing you out in the crowd. Despite the countdown until kickoff and the protests of a certain coach, Alexia ran straight to you, meeting you at the edge of the stands.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, reaching one hand up to cup your face while the other went around your waist, pulling your bodies as close as the barrier between you two allowed. 
In the moment, it didn’t matter if there was a small wedge driven between the two of you since the start of this tournament, Alexia was beyond happy to finally have you back in her arms. She wasn’t going to waste a second of it. 
“I made a promise, we’d be here together,” you said, resting your forehead against hers, this closeness drowning out everything around you. “I came to fulfill that promise to you. Even if it’s a little different than the way we planned.”
“I’m sorry,” Alexia said, ready to jump into her rehearsed spiel of how she shouldn’t have reacted the way she did the other night. 
But before she could say anything, you quickly interrupted her with an apology of your own. “No, mi corazón, I’m sorry. You were right, we made a promise and I went back on it.”
“No, I know why you and the others did what you did, but that doesn’t mean I don’t support you. I just really wished I could have shared all of this with you by my side.”
“I know, bebé, I know. But we can’t change the past.”
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Alexia admitted, sniffling slightly. You reached up to wipe the pooling tear in her eye. 
“Me too. I promise we can talk about this more later. For now, go out there and make me proud,” you told her, not caring about the crowd as you leant forward and kissed her for the first time in over a month. “Te amo.”
The blinding smile on your girlfriend’s face and the returned ‘I love you’ was worth the month apart. Alexia snuck one more quick kiss to your lips before rushing off to the locker room before she was benched for the entire game. 
You sat back in your seat as you awaited the players' walk out. 
“My sister is such a sucker for you,” Alba said, knocking her shoulder against yours from her seat beside you. 
You burst out laughing, “Never hurts to have her wrapped around my finger,” you shrugged.
“Yet you were the one to skip practice in order to book a last minute flight to Australia just so you could apologize in person.”
“It’s called supporting your girlfriend,” you countered, eyes on the tunnel as the players were set to come out any second. 
Alba rolled her eyes goodnaturedly, joining you as you both sported your Alexia jerseys, loudly cheering for the superstar as everyone came out. You blew her a kiss and wished her the best of luck. 
This wasn’t how you two had thought a World Cup together would be like, but even with all the obstacles, you had finally made it to a final together. And really, that’s all that mattered because at the end of the day, you two would always have each other. 
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em-ontv · 13 days
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Back into the life.
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Pairing: Sam Winchester x fem!hunter!reader
Summary: Escaping the hunter life and going to Stanford seemed pretty good until you showed back up into his life again, reeling him back in.
Content: mentions of y/n, Sam’s in Stanford, he used to have a crush on reader, reader is friends with the Winchesters, reader is kind of cocky, mentions of Jess, English is not my first language, pretty fast-paced, not proofread
A/N: few disclaimers here, I haven’t watched supernatural (yet) so Sam may be a bit ooc, I tried my best. There's no specific indication that Sam and the reader have any romantic relationships, you can interpret it however you want, but I definitely did not write this in means of breaking Sam up with Jess. Enjoy :)
Word count: 930
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You were in some dive bar, waiting for your next hunt, when your phone buzzed. Dean's name flashed on the screen, and the second you answered, his voice came through, not even a "hello" first before he got straight to the point.
"I need your help."
Typical.
"Hello to you too, sunshine," you responded, leaning back in your chair, feet kicked up onto the table. "It's been—what? Three years? And this is the first thing I hear from you?"
"Cut the crap, y/n. It's Sam, I need him back." Dean said.
Your eyebrows shot up. "Why don't you go ask him yourself?"
"I did. Kid's stubborn. Won't leave that Stanford life of his, but I need him." his exhale came through the phone like he was one breath away from losing it.
There was a pause on your end. Because the thing is, you understood. You did. There was a time where you wanted to leave too—and have something different, a normal life. But hunting? The supernatural world? It never lets you go.
"You're the only one who can get him to listen." Dean's voice snapped you out of the thought.
"Uh-huh, and what makes you think that?" you let out a sound that was close to a scoff and a chuckle.
A beat of silence, and you could nearly hear the smirk on Dean's face through the phone. "Because, sweetheart, Sam's got it bad for you. Always did."
Oh, you knew alright. Sam had always been obvious. Big, doe-eyed stares when all of you were younger, awkward stammering when you caught him looking, and that whole puppy-dog vibe he never could shake. You’d flirt with him just to see him turn red. It was too easy. The boy had it bad, but then he went and ran off to college, leaving everything else behind.
"Please, that was kid's stuff. He's over it." you shrugged it off.
"He's not over it," Dean fired back. "Never was. So, I need you to... you know, use that to get him back."
You almost laughed out loud. "You want me to seduce Sam back into hunting? Seriously?"
"For crying out loud, y/n. And it's not seducing, it's gentle coaxing." Dean rolled his eyes, his tone sarcastic. "But whatever works, I guess."
Well, whatever works. You'd find out soon enough.
—————
The second you parked your car and stepped onto the campus, you could feel yourself being out of place. Students were laughing, lounging under trees, talking about midterms and parties.
Stanford was nice. Too nice.
You waited for the six-foot-four tree of a man that used to trip over his own feet whenever you smiled at him. And soon enough, Sam emerged from the lecture hall, backpack slung over his shoulder, hair a little longer, looking every bit the normal, happy college student. He hadn’t seen you yet. Oh, this was gonna be fun.
Before you could even call his name, Sam looked up. His entire body froze mid-step. The look on his face was priceless—equal parts shock and panic, with just a dash of "oh no, she’s here." He blinked, then blinked again, clearly trying to process that you, of all people, were standing in front of him.
"y/n? What—what are you doing here?" He stammered, looking like a deer caught in headlights.
You crossed your arms, that familiar cocky smile playing on your lips. “Oh, you know. Came to say hi, check in on you."
He fumbled with his backpack strap, eyes darting around like he was hoping this was some weird dream and he’d wake up soon. “Well, I've been doing well. Studying law."
"Law, huh?" your eyes glanced over to the backpack he was holding. "Sounds pretty boring for a guy who used to get his hands dirty killing vamps."
Sam's face fell, and you almost felt bad. Almost.
"Look," you said, getting to the point. "Dean needs you back."
His jaw clenched. "I told him no."
"Well, I'm telling you yes."
There was a pause as Sam looked at you, like he was trying to figure out if you were serious. "You're just like Dean, you know that?"
"Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
You just smiled and shrugged, unfazed.
Sam sighed heavily. “y/n, I’ve got a life here. I’ve got—”
“A girlfriend, I know,” you cut in. “Dean mentioned her. Jessica, right?”
His eyes flickered.
“And she’s nice, I’m sure. Sweet. Normal. Everything you want.” you exhaled softly. “But let’s be real, Sam. You can’t outrun this life. It’s in your blood. You’re a hunter, always will be.”
Sam swallowed hard. He stared at you like he was still trying to wrap his head around why you'd come all this way to pull him back into a world he thought he left behind.
“I left for a reason,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.
"And I'm sure it's a good reason, Sam." your eyes softened at his words. "But sometimes, life drags you back."
"Dean needs you," you started.
"And I need you too."
Oh. That card.
Sam’s eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he looked like a nervous teenager again, the way he always used to when you were around him.
Finally, he sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Fine. I’ll come. But I’m doing it for Dean.”
“Uh-huh,” you raised your eyebrows, already spinning around to head to your car. “I know.”
As you walked away, Sam trailing behind you, you couldn’t help but grin. Dean had been right. And Sam?
Well… Sam never stood a chance against you.
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bbernard-03 · 7 days
Text
Begin Again
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˚。 ❀ ˚。The Beginning˚。 ❀ ˚。
Summary: The weight of it all finally gets too much, and the decision is made, but will the kind words of a stranger be enough to shine a light into the blinding darkness?
Warnings: use of y/n, mentions of suicidal thoughts/suicide
thank you @bernardsbendystraws for proofreading and being the best <3
**i do not consent to my work being copied, used for inspiration, or republished**
prologue <- -> next part
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Two weeks ago, I was prepared to take my own life. The decision made, the plan in place, the letter… almost written. The plan was halted when a brown-haired, ocean-eyed stranger reminded me why life was worth living. Why my story was worth completing. Matt spent hours with me that night discussing everything from dreams and fears to thoughts and memories. He breathed life back into me, and I will never be able to repay him for that. 
Today, I was walking down the streets of the small town I had escaped to, facing the daily challenge that Matt had so graciously deemed upon me: Do something for yourself. After much deliberation and argument, I walked towards an ice cream shop I used to love as a kid. The happy memories were plagued with the dark events in the years that followed. I paused as I approached the double doors, taking a shaky breath. I took out my phone and typed out a message.
Y/N:
I can’t do it. 
I stared at the screen, watching the bubbles appear almost instantly in the bottom corner. 
Matt: 
Yes, you can. Remember, there are things worth living for. You’re working on finding them. 
I sigh and gnaw at my bottom lip. 
Y/N:
I’m trying. I really am. But I don’t think I can do this. It’s too much. 
Matt: 
Look up, sweetheart. 
I lifted my eyes and saw Matt standing a few feet away with a comforting smile as he approached me. He placed his hand on my shoulder, his thumb gently caressing the bare skin. 
“You can do this. You have to do something for yourself. Ice cream is a treat, right?” He asks softly, his words firm and encouraging. 
“Yeah, ice cream’s a treat. I just..” My voice trails off as I stare at the ice cream parlor before me. “I just haven’t been here in a very long time.” My voice is soft, filled with nostalgia and a hint of pain. 
“Do you want to try something else?” He offers gently. Despite my stubbornness and hesitations, in the past two weeks, he has never once lost his patience with me. 
“No,” I say softly. “This used to be my favorite place.. This is for me.” I say with as much confidence as possible, which isn’t much. He smiles softly at me. 
“Lead the way.” 
I shakily grasp the door handle and pull it open, the familiar scent filling my nose as I step through the door, Matt following closely behind. 
“Oh, our little Rainbow!” A voice exclaims from behind the counter. My head snapped up as I saw Belinda, the older woman who runs the shop. 
“Mrs.B!” I exclaim happily as she rounds the counter and crushes me in a hug. 
“It has been too long, my girl. You’re all grown up. Let me look at you!” She states and holds me at arm's length as she examines every part of me. “Your hair is longer.” She says softly. 
“I decided to grow it out.” I smile softly. “It’s so good to see you, Mrs.B.” 
“I love it; it suits you and makes you look like an adult.” She smiles widely and then notices Matt. “And who’s this?” She asks with a slight smirk on her face. 
“This is Matt,” I say with a smile. “Just a friend, Mrs.B.” I giggle and turn to Matt. “She tends to romanticize everything.”
“I can’t help being in love with love!” She exclaims with faux dramatics. “You want your usual, Rainbow?” I can’t help but smile at the fact that she remembers my order despite it having been almost ten years since I’ve set foot in the shop. 
“Yes, please, Mrs.B. One for Matt too,” I say sweetly. 
Five minutes later, we’re both sitting at a small booth in the corner of the shop, sipping strawberry milkshakes. I hum lightly along with the music and glance around at the parlor. Nothing had changed in the last decade and it’s oddly comforting. 
“What’re you thinking about, hm?” Matt asks, looking at me curiously. 
“Just how much nothing has changed here. It’s.. comforting.” I smile softly at him. 
“How often did you use to come here?” He questions gently. 
“Every day, every summer.. Until I was 13.” I glance around again as if trying to memorize every detail. 
“Why’d you stop?” His question, seemingly innocent, creates a heavy pit in my stomach. 
“Mom and Dad got divorced that spring. Nobody was really up for family vacations after that.” I say quietly, omitting most of the details, unsure if it was for his or my benefit. Matt looked at me curiously, almost instantly knowing there was more to the story but choosing to pick his battles in breaking down my walls. 
“I’m sorry that happened,” he spoke softly. “This seems like a very special place, especially to you.” 
“It was.. Is.. This town, this shop, it was the focal point of my childhood. The happiest memories I have.” My voice was dripping with heartache as I recalled all the years spent here before my family crumbled to pieces. 
Matt and I sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the visit. The only sound being the hum of the machine and occasional conversations between Mrs.B and customers. Despite the ache in my chest remembering the happy moments, I can’t help but feel a sliver of relief that I’m here. I’m making new memories, happy ones. I look at Matt, a small smile on my face. He was the reason I was here. 
“What?” He asks with a soft chuckle. “Do I have something on my face?” He wipes around his mouth. 
“No,” I giggle. “I.. I’m just.. I feel a little better than okay right now.” My words are met with Matt's bright smile. 
“I am so glad, sweetheart.” He reaches across and squeezes my hand before pulling it back. He’s made sure to respect my personal space these past two weeks, never having physical contact with me more than necessary. Another fact on the list of why he’s the best person I’ve ever met. 
“I’m grateful for you,” I say simply. He looks at me, and I can see the happiness on his face. 
Once we finish our milkshakes, we begin the stroll back. The air swirling around us, the hint of saltiness from the ocean soothing every ache in my soul. I take in my surroundings inch by inch. A flower had bloomed more than it was yesterday, I saw a new face pass by us, a little girl hugged her Mom after getting a toy. Joy. A feeling I had almost forgotten existed. 
This was where I was meant to be. I think.
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wileys-russo · 1 year
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childhood sweethearts (3) II a.russo x reader
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series playlist part one part two
this fic really does have my heart tbh childhood sweethearts (3) II a.russo x reader
alessia exhaled shakily, tapping her foot nervously as her eyes flickered repeatedly between the time on her phone and the door to the cafe, counting down each second which passed that you didn't arrive.
maybe you just weren't going to show up at all, could she even blame you if you didn't? it had been six years since the two of you really spoke, and your last words exchanged were hardly on friendly terms.
when her mum had called her to invite her to dinner with your family, her heart leapt into her throat. your name was something that hadn't crossed her mind in years, well no actually that was a lie.
alessia often wondered what you were up to, occasionally in a moment of weakness imagining what would be different had things not gone the way they had between you both.
but she'd banish those fleeting thoughts and insecurities as quickly as they arrived, knowing she'd just spiral into a tornado of overthinking if she dwelled on them too much.
alessia tried to trick herself into believing she was fine with how things had ended, pushing her real feelings deep down away and filing them under painful memories she'd rather not resurface ever again.
but they always did, and no more so then when you'd walked into that restaurant beside her brother and every thought, feeling, memory and emotion she'd repressed the last six years came soaring to the surface, she could have thrown up with how suddenly she was swamped by them.
the pain only grew when you refused to even meet her eye, greeting everyone else first and alessia was almost certain if you hadn't had to sit beside her the two of you likely wouldn't have even conversed that entire night.
"hi i'm so sorry i'm late i got held up at work." she was snapped out of the depths of her overthinking as you hurriedly dropped down into the seat across from her, exhaling heavily and dropping your bag on the floor beside you.
"that's alright, i hope everythings okay?" alessia rushed out, playing with her fingers which sat dormant in her lap as you nodded, starting to ramble on about the frustration of substitutes not doing their assigned pick up duty so you'd had to fill in.
realising you were getting on a tangent and meeting those ever so familiar ocean blue eyes you suddenly stopped, clearing your throat and apologising.
"you don't need to be sorry, you've clearly found the right career. mum was right when she said she was sure you're an amazing teacher." alessia complimented with a soft smile as you nodded, admittedly still unsure quite how to interact with her after so much time.
"so...how have you been?"
~
"-no because that time was entirely your fault! you were always getting us in trouble." you chuckled, shaking your head at the grinning blonde across from you, your coffees long finished, empty mugs pushed to the side.
"i was not!" alessia defended herself with a playful offended scoff, unable to stop the smile spreading on her face. "you so were! every single time we had detention it was your fault, and any time we got in trouble with our parents it was one of your genius ideas that lead up to it." you couldn't help but smile yourself at the fond memories.
"miss!" your head turned as you heard a voice call out for you, spotting one of your students frantically waving at you from the counter. "sorry, he insisted on saying hi. i tried to explain that you have your own life outside of the classroom." his mum smiled apologetically as the boy hurried over and she chased after him.
"thats perfectly alright. i always say if you guys see me around to give me a wave and thats what you did, charlies one of my best behaved students! aren't you?" you smiled fondly, holding your hand out for a high five which he happily gave you with a grin, waving goodbye as his mum smiled gratefully and hurried the two of them away to another table.
"sorry about that." you apologized to alessia, a slight blush coating your cheeks as the blonde shook her head. "don't be, that was quite adorable. your class clearly love you and who could blame them." alessia complimented with a dangerously familiar look in her eyes as you forced a small smile and glanced down to your phone, eyes widening as you realised you'd been here well over two hours now.
"i should really get going, i've got dinner to cook and lesson planning to do for tomorrow." you smiled apologetically, alessia nodding in understanding as you both reached for your bags. "could we do this again, soon?" the girl asked hopefully as the two of you stood outside, causing you to bite the inside of your cheek.
"look alessia it was great catching up and i'm really glad that football and everything else is working out so well for you. but i just, i don't know if i can make this a regular thing." you admitted with a slight wince, watching as her face fell at your answer.
"why not?" as soon as the hurt was plain on her face it was gone, replaced instead with a firm look of defiance, folding her arms over her chest. "you know why, please don't make me say it." you responded quietly, shuffling uncomfortably and adjusting your bag on your shoulder.
"god you are so frustrating." alessia dragged her hands down her face with a shake of her head. "whats that supposed to mean?" you were now the one to respond with a frown.
"its like i said at the restaurant y/n we were best friends for years before anything changed. we've just spent the however many hours reflecting on how good that time was, i know the way things ended wasn't ideal but why can't we just work on getting a friendship back?" alessia almost begged, taking a step toward you and frowning as you immediately took one back away from her.
"before anything changed...the way things ended? you are so arrogant, as if it was nothing!" you scoffed and shook your head in disbelief that she could dismiss what happened so easily. "that's not what i fucking meant and you know it, don't put words in my mouth." alessia warned, jaw clenching tightly.
"no i think it was exactly what you meant. at least to me alessia what went on between us meant a hell of a lot, and it hurt when everything fell apart. for god sakes we were each others first everything! i can't just go back to being your friend after six years like none of it even happened." you had to stop yourself from shouting at her, well aware that she was a public figure now and though the cafe behind you wasn't crowded, you never knew who was inside listening.
"you are putting words in my mouth. just-" "no alessia, i've spent too fucking long getting over you to fall back into the trap of caring again." you regretted the words from the moment they fell from your lips, cringing with a shake of your head.
"i need to go i'm sorry. i really didn't want to argue with you but i just-I can't do this with you again alessia, good luck with everything." you forced a pained smile, the strikers stomach plummeting as you reached out, your fingertips just ghosting hers sending a bolt of electricity up her arm at the feeble touch, hurrying off away before she could even open her mouth to respond.
~
it seemed your words had struck a chord as you didn't hear a single peep from the girl the entire week following, it had been days of radio silence between you both and you had spent the whole time convincing yourself that was what you wanted and it was for the best.
you weren't sure what alessia had said to her own mum but yours seemed to be relentless in pestering you about how catching up for coffee went, you once again dismissing that too much time had passed and it was awkward.
though the ever persistent woman didn't take the hint it wouldn't be happening again and had tried time after time to press you for more, and you'd taken to dodging her phone calls all week just to avoid the ongoing conversation.
on the bright side you'd made it through another week and you were settling in well to life back in london.
you'd found a favorite coffee spot for your much needed morning brew on the way to work, loved your new school and your class, had dinner and drinks last night with a few co-workers at a local tapas bar and genuinely enjoyed their company, you were on top of your workload and despite needing to currently dodge her you were enjoying living closer to family again.
however you were a creature of habit and so saturday nights were always your night to relish in your own company, recharge for the week and properly switch off. armed with a face mask, a chinese and a glass or bottle of wine at your side, finding some sort of trashy reality nonsense to engross yourself in for the evening.
your family knew this and knew to leave you be, your friends knew this and had long given up trying to drag you out with them unless it was for some sort of holiday or celebration, and your co-workers you'd only gone out with last night and weren't yet all that close to.
which is why it caught you so off guard for your phone to be ringing at half past eleven at night, you'd almost dozed off with a bowl of crisps in your lap, snapping to attention at the ringtone.
rubbing your eyes you fumbled around in the blankets adorning your body for your phone, eventually finding it and answering without looking at the contact, assuming at this time of night it was either an emergency or a scam.
how you regretted that choice.
"you actually answered!" you winced as a loud and very intoxicated voice slurred in excitement, holding the phone away from your ear at the unexpected volume, music pumping away and people laughing in the background.
"alessia?" "baby! what you doin?" the girl slurred and you could already imagine the dopey smile which would be plastered on her face at her words, and the way the corner of her eyes would crease as she squinted.
you grimaced at how much one simple word could cause years of healing to wash instantly away. one little baby and you were suddenly sixteen again, wrapped up in her strong arms sharing soft kisses and giggling about something that happened at school that day.
growing up alessia wasn't one to ever drink all that often given how much time and energy she invested into being an athlete. though on the rare occasions she did drink you quickly learnt the girl couldn't handle her alcohol.
she was a messy drunk to say the least and anytime a drop of alcohol passed her lips you'd abandon your own, knowing you needed to be there and sober to look after her.
"why are you calling me? and at...half past eleven at night." you sighed, collapsing back into the lounge and tiredly rubbing your eyes. "because i wasn't lying when i said i missed you." she laughed and you shook your head at her words.
"alessia you're drunk. i'm going now, please be safe." you tried to wrap up the conversation, knowing she'd likely be embarrassed about this when she sobered up tomorrow, finger hovering over the little red button to end the call then and there.
god how you wished you'd pressed it.
"wait! i'm really smashed and my friends all left me, i can't find them and i need to go home. i'm seeing double babe!" the blonde groaned and you heard a smash and some yelling, your eyebrows furrowing at the noise.
"call an uber home then, or get a taxi." you remanded firmly but softly, knowing that in times like this she needed things very clearly broke down for her.
"i don't know how! i can barely see my fucking phone screen, can you come and get me?" she continued as you withheld a groan, sharply pinching the bridge of your nose at the seemingly never ending flow of possibilities for whatever you answered next.
"where are you?"
~
"god what am i doing here?" you mumbled to yourself, insecurely playing with the strings of your hoodie, feeling incredibly under dressed as patrons of the bar you were stood outside of stumbled around with giggles and drunken cheers.
"y/n?" you turned at your name, frowning at the unfamiliar voice as your eyes finally landed on alessia, who was not alone. "oh wow it is you, hi?" lotte spoke in surprise, eyes wide as alessia cheered when she spotted you, you weren't particularly close to many of the girls football friends but that hadn't meant you'd not known or become fond of some of them over the years, lotte and ella in particular were two names who came to mind.
"baby you actually came!" alessia stumbled her way over with her heels in hand, wrenching her bicep away from lottes careful grip. she was dressed in blue jeans and a charcoal coloured knitted vest, toned arms on full display as a rolex which probably cost you a months salary glinted on her wrist under the streetlights.
you shoved her away as she placed a sloppy kiss to your cheek, but had no choice but to grab her hands and steady her to stop her from falling over right afterwards.
"i didn't know you two were..." lotte trailed off with an awkward pause of uncertainty as you quickly shook your head, smacking away alessia's hands which poked at and clung onto you.
"we're not anything. we caught up for coffee once and it didn't go well, and then she called me tonight saying she was drunk and her friends left her and she needed a lift home." you sighed at the realization you'd clearly been played, feeling stupidly gullible as you swallowed the urge to yell at the tall dopey blonde beside you who really you knew had minimal control over her actions right now.
"well she ran off for a bit when we changed bars but then we found her again, we were actually going to send her off home but we weren't sure if a taxi would even take her, she's had a few too many." lotte winced apologetically as you nodded along with a sigh, knowing exactly how the older girl behaved when she drank.
"russo has a secret missus?" a brunette with a thick irish accent shouldered her way to the front of the group, slinging an arm around lotte and you shifted somewhat uncomfortably as her eyes narrowed and scanned you up and down.
"used to, not anymore. she hates me now!" alessia rolled her eyes moodily and you winced, knowing that sober she wouldn't have likely confessed that, especially given how much the brunettes eyes widened at the new information.
"wouldn't have pegged you for the type to drunkenly dial an ex russo, i learn new things about ya every day. she's quite fit though!" the brunettes lips curled into a smile and you felt a hot flush creep up your neck.
"lay off mccabe!" alessia scowled as her arm draped over your shoulder and you grunted as her body weight bore into you, struggling to keep the taller girl upright.
"oo and you're also the jealous type are ya russo!" mccabe continued to wind the drunken blonde beside you up with a grin, another girl stepping in to drag her back to the group with an apologetic smile flicked your way.
"are you sure you're right with her? i can get her in a taxi." lotte offered sincerely, glancing over her shoulder as someone from her group yelled at her to hurry up.
"no its fine, don't let her ruin your night. i know she's ruined plenty of mine before with her drunken antics." you sighed sparing alessia a glance who scoffed and stumbled slightly as you grabbed her.
"did not!"
ignoring her you again urged lotte to join her friends, sending her a reassuring smile and bidding her a good night as you struggled to move alessia through the crowd of drunken party goers and won the street towards where you'd parked.
"for fuck sakes just get in you idiot!" you grunted as you all but shoved her into the passenger seat, clicking her seatbelt in and slamming the door shut.
"why me? why?" you looked up to the sky with a sigh of defeat, rubbing your temples for a second before moving around to the drivers side and sliding inside, wincing at the strong smell of alcohol wafting from the girl beside you.
"don't touch anything!" you swatted her hands away as she reached for the gearstick, sinking back into her chair with a huff. "you're so bossy now, you weren't this bossy before. you used to do whatever i told you!" alessia slurred with a roll of her eyes as you started up the car.
"yeah? well then it took me six years to grow a backbone. now where am i taking you?" "home." "well obviously alessia but i don't know where that is, do I?" "god can you stop that!" "pardon?" "the whole alessia thing, i hate the way you say it. call me less, or lessi, literally anything else!"
"just tell me where the hell im driving you so i can go to bed? please!" you sighed in frustration, looking at her expectantly. "fine. only if you agree to hang out with me again!" the blonde tilted her head at you, staring with half lidded eyes.
"that is not how this works. i'll kick you out right here and you can walk home!" "if i end up dead in a ditch cause you left me i don't think your mum or my mum would be very happy." "maybe not but you know what? you are no longer my problem to deal with or my mess to clean up anymore alessia. you're responsible for your own shitty choices and their consequences! like calling your ex and lying about your situation to come and get her to pick you up, and then trying to manipulate her into doing what you want." you exploded suddenly, hands balled into fists as you let out your pent up frustration at this entire messy situation.
there was a thick silence that followed afterward and you refused to look at her, feeling her eyes bore holes into the side of your head.
"god you look so good when you're angry."
you let out a groan, head thumping down onto your steering wheel in defeat. the comment took you right back again to being a lovesick teenager, alessia's blatantly charming cockiness both equally attractive as it was infuriating even back then.
"just please tell me where you live so i can take you there and be done with all of this." "um...i forget." "you forget? how the hell do you forget where you live!" "stop yelling at me i'm drunk! all i can think about is jager and vodka and tequila and-" "i don't need a walk through tour of the bar cart currently sitting in your stomach alessia. can you seriously not remember your address?" "nope." "give me your phone then, its gotta be saved in there somewhere."
you grabbed it out of her hands with a roll of your eyes when she refused to hand it over, but trying to open it was a fruitless activity as the screen remained black.
"its dead." alessia commented with a lopsided smile and you almost threw it out of your window. your fingers drummed the steering wheel trying desperately to think of a way out of this. you didn't have lottes number so that was out, and you couldn't just leave her here as tempting an idea as that was.
you didn't have any of her families numbers, you knew where she used to live with them but that was hardly close by and you didn't even know for certain if they'd moved or not, and you did not want to call your mum for support right now.
which painstakingly and infuriatingly left you with all but one option as you sighed and shifted your car into drive, pulling away from the curb.
"where are we goin?" "home."
~
"this is really nice babe!" alessia slurred as you stumbled through your front door precariously balancing the intoxicated footballer clinging onto you, kicking it closed behind you and tossing your keys on your hallway table.
"stop calling me that." you mumbled, dragging her into the living room and pushing her to sit down on your lounge as you rubbed your neck, which was throbbing from having to cart around the girl who was easily a foot taller than you, and being so drunk meant leaning her entire body weight into you.
"make me some food please." alessia demanded, head thumping back into the sofa as her eyes fluttered closed. "what do you think i'm your on call taxi driver and personal chef?" you scoffed, kicking her sharply in the leg to wake her back up as she whined at the action.
"the last thing you need is anything else in your system which could wind up on my floor later. are you sure you don't feel the need to be sick?" you asked for the fifth time this evening as the blonde nodded wordlessly.
"c'mere and gimme a cuddle baby girl." her lips curled into a dopey smile as she opened her arms expectantly, barely able to hold her own head up as your entire body cringed at the long familiar endearment.
"absolutely not, and stop calling me names. you're going to bed!" you refused, wishing the ground would swallow you up as alessia groaned.
"you're so stubborn, and so hot. i miss you!" the blonde slurred as you grabbed her hands, hauling her to her feet with a grunt and stumbling your way to the guest bedroom, sighing in relief as you dropped her onto the mattress.
"no you don't, you're drunk." you replied firmly, running a hand through your hair with a sigh. "i do! i have for years, the one that got away." alessia shrugged, arm flopping across her face as her eyes closed.
with a roll of your eyes you left her for a moment, hurrying across the hall to your own bedroom and grabbing out some clothes. she may right now be the most infuriating person on the planet but you weren't about to make her sleep in jeans.
you hated yourself for caring, why didn't you just ignore the phone earlier?
"jesus alessia." you sighed as you returned to find her with her jeans around her ankles and her vest stuck over her head, meaning you quickly averted your eyes from her half naked form.
"help! i've gone blind!" the blonde yelled and you bit your lip to stop the smile breaking out on your face, shaking your head firmly. "stop that, god you're useless." you couldn't help but chuckle as you helped her strip off the rest of her clothes, again careful your eyes only remained on her face.
"made you smile." alessia slurred with a stupidly attractive smirk, poking at you as you pulled a black baggy shirt over her head, handing her a pair of shorts which she promptly threw over her shoulder.
"alessia!" you huffed as she shrugged, mumbling something about sleeping naked as she rolled over and with much struggle managed to get into the bed.
"god you're a nightmare." you turned to leave her as a hand gripped at the back of your hoodie, firmly yanking you downwards.
"no! get off." you grunted, struggling to wrench her hand away as she attempted to pull you into a hug. "i want a hug! i'll probably never see you again." alessia whined needily as you continued to fight her.
"ohh you always did like when i touched you there." the blonde laughed as her hand accidentaly grazed your bum and your breath hitched momentarily before you pulled yourself free, shoving her back down into the bed.
"jesus christ alessia please shut up before you embarass yourself any further, the less i have to explain to you tomorrow the better." you flared your nostrils and took a deep breath, counting to three and turning away.
"where you goin?" "to bed alessia, go to sleep." "isn't this your bed?" "no this is my guest bedroom, not that i can even really call you that given i had no choice in you staying here." "you can afford a two bedroom flat on a teachers salary? wow baby you're doing good!" "please stop calling me that, now go to sleep." "can't we cuddle? for old times sake, friends cuddle!" "we're not friends." "ouch, way to land a blow babe." "i told you to stop calling me that, now please just go to sleep."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
part four
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idiots in love | h.j.s
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-> the first i love you m.list
pairing... bf!jisung x gn!reader tags... fluff, established relationship, literal idiots but it’s ok cos ur in love
it’s been a grand four months into the relationship, and neither you nor jisung have said those three words that mean oh so much to the both of you. why? because you’re idiots.
wc... 887 words a/n... here's the first installment for the first i love you series! i've had this sitting in my drafts for like a month and it's not a LOT but i still really enjoyed writing it hehe. i hope you enjoy and stay tuned for more!
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Jisung has always known he loved you. From the moment he asked you out, he knew that you were the one for him. He couldn't ever want anyone else. But he couldn't tell you that right off the bat—he was afraid he would scare you off. Now he wouldn't want that, would he? And so, he settled for showing you his love with cozy cuddle sessions, eager kisses, and endless conversations about anything and everything you wanted to talk about.
As for you, just after the first week of dating, you already knew you loved Jisung. However, you figured it was way too early to say it. You thought such an early confession would make Jisung freak out, and you’d never want to weird him out. So you waited and waited and waited.
Of course, there were many close calls, but the one that constantly replayed in your mind was the time Jisung dropped you off at your house after your one-month anniversary date. You had gone to a carnival, and he had won you not one, not two, but three stuffed toys! He helped you carry your new babies to your bedroom, and you pulled him on top of you to cuddle on your bed, which was overflowing with pillows and plushies. The room was filled with lovesick giggles and as he looked into your eyes, you could feel it coming. You knew he was about to say it. “Y/n,” he opened his mouth. “I love… your bed. I love your bed. It’s so comfy.” Oh, never mind!
Time flew by, and every single day, the nagging voices in the back of both your minds grew louder. Just tell each other, just profess your love, damn it! But, no matter how much you two were dying to say it, there was fear deep inside your hearts that your feelings weren’t reciprocated by the other.
Now here you are, a grand four months into the relationship, and neither of you has said those three words, those eight letters, that mean oh so much to the both of you. Why? Because you're idiots.
You were lying on top of Jisung on your couch, head resting on his chest as you used your phone. He was watching a video on his laptop, which rested on your back. Every now and then he would bring his fingers up to your head and play with your hair. You softly drummed against your fingers against the side of his torso, humming along with the beat of the background music emitting from the speakers of his laptop.
Every brush of your fingertips against his body sent butterflies to his stomach. ‘Do they not know what they’re doing to me?’ Jisung thought as his pulse quickened. He was sure you could hear his heartbeat banging against his chest. He wasn’t even paying attention to the video on his screen anymore, not when you were this close to him. He needed to tell you he loved you. He needed to tell you right now.
Immediately, your boyfriend slammed his laptop close and tossed it to the foot of the couch. You lifted your head and looked at him in confusion. "Ji? Is something wrong, baby?"
“Yes, actually. Something is very, very wrong and I need to make it right.” Jisung announced dramatically, making you chuckle at his antics. You released yourself from his embrace and sat up on his lap. “Okay, let’s talk then. What’s wrong?”
Jisung stared deep into your eyes, contemplated whether or not he should say anything, then looked away shyly. You grabbed his hand and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles.
“Hey, it’s okay. You can tell me anything.”
"Look Y/n, we've been together for over four months and I swear I've never been happier. You're the reason I wake up with a stupidly wide smile glued on my face every day and I literally cannot live without you, babe. There’s a feeling that’s just been eating me up from the inside and I’m tired of hiding it from you. I guess what I'm trying to say is," Jisung took a deep breath, "I love you, Y/n. So much, you don’t even know. Each day I held myself back from telling you was a day I regret not being honest with you. I understand if you’re not ready to say it back but-"
And suddenly, your lips crashed harshly onto his. Jisung's eyes widened for a moment, but he quickly wrapped his arms around you and melted into the kiss. You raked your fingers into his hair, untangling the soft strands.
"I love you so much, Han Jisung. Never think for a second that I wouldn't say it back. I love you and I always will." You had only barely pulled away from him, so he could feel your smile against his lips. “God, you don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to say that. Oh, I love you, Ji. I love you, I love you, I love you!”
“I love you too, baby.” Giggling, Jisung hugged you tightly, resting his head on your shoulder. "Trust me, I know how you feel. That was long overdue. Wow, we’re huge idiots, aren’t we?"
"I think that,” you whispered as you peppered kisses onto the side of his head, “that’s an understatement."
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
taglist... @jinnixxn
comments, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated! © like-a-diamondinthesky 2023
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wolfjackle-creates · 8 months
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Oooooh, I love the wip ask game!! You know I'm a fiend for your Answer My Call fic, but... Danny is Vlark's Nephew is calling to me, that sounds like so much fun!
Look out tomorrow night (after 9 pm EST) for Answer My Call! Can you tell how much fun I'm having since this chapter takes place in Boston?
As for Danny is Clark's Nephew. I actually kinda forgot all about this one until I was looking through my "Prompt fills" document. And I followed the link I saved and what I wrote doesn't match it at all? So idk if I saved the wrong link or if I just took the barest bones and went in a totally new direction.
Here's the first 350ish words.
-----
Danny was practically vibrating as he followed Constantine through a random junk yard in Chicago and into a shed. He was going to meet the Justice League! And possibly join them! Totally worth the months he’d spent gathering every piece of John Constantine’s soul.
“All right, your highness. This is the Zeta Tube. They’re expectin’ us. After I make this introduction, we’re even, right? You’re not gonna demand anything else from me?”
“Nope! Your soul back for the chance to meet the Justice League with the potential of joining them. You’ve given them the files I sent you, right?”
“Course. Wouldn’t dream of reneging on a deal with the Ghost Prince.”
Danny laughed. “Sure you would.” Before Constantine could protest, Danny continued, “Now, how does this thing work?”
“You just stand right there. I’ll take care of it.”
Unfortunately, Constantine stood in a way that prevented him from seeing what he did. But then it didn’t matter because the room was filled with a strange energy that bombarded him. It tickled. Danny laughed even as the world spun away from him and reality shifted.
When everything came into focus around him again, he was facing a group of people. But his eyes focused on just one. Someone was talking, but Danny could only stare into equally shocked blue eyes.
“—om. Prince Phantom!” Constantine’s hiss finally got through the ringing in his ears.
Danny looked over at the wizard, but then he heard that clearing of the throat. He looked back at the group that had come to greet him. And there was Uncle Clark, dressed as Superman, standing with his arms crossed, foot tapping, and one eyebrow raised.
“I’m waiting for an explanation,” he said as soon as Danny met his eyes.
Danny opened his mouth. Closed it again. Swallowed. “Um…”
And then Constantine was talking again, thank the Ancients. “Superman, this is Prince Phantom, Crown Prince of the Infinite Realms, defeater of Pariah Dark, defender of—”
“Not you, Constantine.” Uncle Clark continued to stare straight at Danny. “I got a Christmas card from your parents just three months ago. I spoke to you on the phone last month on your sister’s birthday. You were alive then. Why do you suddenly not have a heartbeat.”
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