#my niece is a little shit
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bunch of Hocicos doodles
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lil hiatus away
#trump winning hit hard#harder than I thought because I didn’t think he’d win#we all met up the next day and had depression strolls#lots of vents and talks and anger#window shopped and actually shopped#looked at expensive guitars and little hamsters find fun in every place we go#we all made food with/for my niece and talked at my table for hours#played among us like old times till 1 am#got emotionally rejuvenated by the ocean#had plans with a friend that fell through so another time maybe or not idc anymore hahah she’s persistent though#I’m kinda over everything!#this 4:30 sunset always gets me bad for a while#on top of heavy world changes too like do that shit in summer#my dads friend Chris is visiting and that always makes me happy#I heard them cracking up watching South Park in his room last night was the cutest shit#reminded me of old times I miss living in Boston that whole era#wish we could have a redo#or even when he lived here with us after#maybe he'll move back this way someday#or go up that way since won’t ever be able to afford a house where I wanna live#or get out of the country all together#hiatus away was nice especially from Instagram and fb they're horrible places right now#unfollowing and unfriending everyone rn idc who u are#and honestly idky I still even have tumblr now I ask myself that a lot#more and more lately#have a good day#and take care of yourselves
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..... hi 🧍🏻♀️
#can't believe i haven't been on here for like a month?? possibly a little longer idk 😭#i've been making up for lost time and hanging out with my niece#also i caught the plague again bc my immune system ain't shit#i was down fighting for my life for like 3 weeks 💀#the second half of this yr has been exhausting i'm so done with 2023 y'all like i rlly am#anyway i've missed y'all i've missed the vibes i've missed the tomfoolery etcetc#i genuinely hope u guys have been having an easier go of it than myself#hugs n kisses n all that
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#pedro pascal#joel miller#bella ramsey#iconic#my niece is the same way#I love these little shits#both of them#TLOU#tlou spoilers
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one of my favourite things is when you look up a recipe and the person who posted it has a little thing talking about their life and why they love this specific thing like maybe their grandma used to make it when they were a kid or something i don’t know i just love to read it and it makes me feel kinda alright about the world for a moment
#it’s so heart warming i’m like yeah maybe everything isn’t so bad maybe we can all make it with little moments like this#like i don’t personally have the experience of learning a recipe from someone or cooking with someone as a kid so it’s nice to read#the closest thing for me is probably my aunties ex bf who used to get blasted and make rock cakes with me when he looked after me#maybe that’s heart warming in it’s own way#anyway i’m so gonna be that person teaching my niece how to cook and shit because i think that’s such a neat memory to have
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oh! my nephew stayed here last night, and he told me that his grandma's partner - the most annoying, conceited, boring man I have ever met - said he doesn't like it that I always contradict him :)
I've met this guy maybe... 5-10 times total? and every time he manages to say something even more stupid than the last! it's almost impressive! like, he thinks he knows everything. and no one ever says anything, they just let him talk because it's not worth it (I know that because almost every one of them has told me this).
but I get too pissed off when it's something I care about. and I'm an adult now, I can talk back to shitty adults, I don't give a fuck.
anyway, I just think it's absolutely hilarious that he feels that way and now I'll do it even more often :) it's very fun when I ask him what his sources are for what he's saying and he just stammers some bullshit and tries to say that's not the point (pretty sure it's 100% telegram and tik tok, because that's the kind of useless old guy he is).
#some fun recent examples include... my niece gave back my rainbow high doll. he saw it and commented that it's disgusting that dolls#sexualise little girls like that because of crop tops and high heels and makeup and garter belts. what the fuck man. no one is sexualising#anything except YOU#that's a fashion doll. meant to be like 15. wearing fun pretty clothes and colourful makeup. if you look at that and think oh that's#too sexy. then I'm sorry but that's YOUR problem#(and garter belts??? it was some decoration hanging off her skirt what the fuck.)#he didn't like it when I said that no one ever says toys for boys have to be good role models :)#got realllly pissy when I wouldn't stop :) like hello dude you know there's something you can do if you don't want anyone to respond to your#fucking bullshit right? it's called THINKING. just keep that shit in your head#I'll keep doing this until he no longer wants to say dumb shit when I'm around :) (so. forever probably. but he's old he'll die before me so#it'll be fine).#oh and one time he tried to convince us that regular people in the UK are better off since Brexit. hello? dude you don't speak a damn word#of English. you barely know how to order a drink or something. how the fuck would you know#it drives me insane. he couldn't be any more mediocre and stupid if he tried. yet he thinks he's the greatest person ever#can't fucking stand him#and men like him in general. (yes it is only ever men. women like my mother are similar but they're never this fucking sure of their shitty#opinions.)#(in fact they usually give up way too easily. in my experience at least.)
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I love weekends together so much!
We did so much and it was so nice to have a weekend like that because they never really happen. We started this car journal thing and are gonna write down everything we do together and all the adventures and stuff we plan to do etc! It’s so cute. He makes me very happy and I love him so much. I am very lucky! I love him dearly and he’s the best thing that has happened to me.
#I went to his show Thursday and fucked up my hand so bad#got bruised to shit but it was fun and great to see him play#Hung out with his friends gf there and made plans to hang out with her eventually which is so nice and cute#then we went to a bunch of home stores looking for shit but also went to pet smart and looked at the animals#we went to bookstore and he got a book#so we could read together#we went to this cute cafe then also visit his parent he started teaching me drums#also hung out with my little brother and his niece who I love#went to his parents for dinner today#the other day we went to his friends place to let his dog out and I fell in love with his sick little cat kuro#we then went with his friend and his gf to walk their dog at the park and hang out at their place#all very nice and just fulfilling things#these were differ friends then the one mentioned before#made me feel like a real person lol#it’s really nice to be doing things and living life#especially around such good people#life has been unbelievably great it’s scary
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waddles in
,,,,fn.af ruin.
faceplants
#hannah babbles#i watched daw.ko play it day one basically but here i am now to feel things#itty bitty spoilers in here dont look if u dont wanna#but. m a n.#goddammit i needed more but also no more pls treat these animatronics niceys now#is my little superstar evil?? sure as shit hope not pls#i know he's the other patient or whatever but shut up thats my son and cassie's my niece now#so yea im thinkin about my big teddy again#also a potential second s/i that actually works at the plex (well WORKED thanks to ruin but w/e)#character attendant maybe? for more ~bonding~ plus everyone else wants to be guards but im built different
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I love that I've just turned the stupid Fandom Wiki into a pet project. Like, it's awful and Fandom as a company is fucked up but I dunno... with all my adblockers in a private window, this is just scratching a spot in my brain real good lmao
"Useful resource of information" my ass. Pet project now. My city now.
#I haven't worked on it today#but that's because I've been dealing with my sister and my niece through text messages most of the day/night#I've decided that I have done Enough. brain wants to do it? tough shit.#but anyway this is just a little funny to me#and it's letting me test my ability to stick to things on the new meds#which is really nice#this and training my sister's dog while he's here is such a nice combination#wish I could do wiki stuff during the day though sdsfdsf I keep not doing that#but anyway I'm completing the Submechanophobia wiki because I can#dunno if I'll do the WHOLE thing with human characters and plot summaries#but I can for sure do the animatronics and the locations#so that's my goal!#it's scratching such a specific spot in my brain lmao#anyway I'm planning to watch more of Markiplier's Ruin playthrough tomorrow#trying to solve problems and ALSO fill my head with blorbos :D
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Haha what if I killed my uncle 👀
#My little brother accidentally called me my uncles nephew bc he confused niece n nephew which isn’t a big deal#but my uncle thought it was hysterical n said “it’s that hair cut see even your brother thinks you’re trying to be a boy”#Can you shut the fuck up I like my hair n I’m sick of getting shit for it#no I’m not trying to be a boy n if you call me a boy or a slur again I will kill myself in front of you you xenophobic piece of shit#sorry for all the vents but I’m full of rage n being around my family tonight did not help#:(#screaming
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My parents are going to be in the same room again for the first time in over ten years, with me present...
#im so not looking forward to the tension to the discomfort to the TRAUMA#girl...#im just gonna flirt with my sister's friend and her husband and drink wine and ignore that HOT MESS#personal#my little niece is celebrating her fourth birthday and my sister's been celebrating in SHIFTS so my crazy parents dont have to see each oth#but she said enough is enough y'all are coming or not im not gonna explain this to my kid#which i 100% support#but I'm SO not in the mood for any shit#I'm there for my niece I'm there for my niece I'm there for my niece I'm there for my niece I'm there for my niece I'm there for my niece I#we came to this conclusion that my father was gonna come too btw#after he ignored us for a week didnt pick up his phone and we assumed he may have KIILLED himself so that was a good experience#AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#cw suicide mention
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dreaming of having my own room again
#only had a room to myself for less than 5 months#sharing a room is ok but there isnt a single place i can detress alone#sharing a room with my 2 little sisters and my niece sucks ass#but its better than rooming with my 2nd oldest sister#i gave up my room for her (dont regret that) but holy shit does the thought of rooming with her make me scream#the other option is my 1st oldest sister but thats even worse imo#love her but dude if i have to listen to true crime every fucking day the next case is gonna be mine#if i could afford it id be gone already
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I had an awful dream which given the content was bizarre, cause if it's the thoughts/media I was around during the day then usually I get good dreams after such things
#rant#in my dream i was fei du and shit was FUCKED and i ran away (he had no money but succession bitches were helping runaways?)#and i met a little girl while i ran away and was in hiding with rich ppl and i picked her up and made her feel normal#and comforted. and it felt warm like holding my nieces when they were small and#idk i felt like i felt what He fei du felt but outward gratitude it was bizarre#and i was running from a car cult and almost fighting to the death it was awful#also my best friend and parent both said awful things to me in the dream enough for me to run away#and cut them out in the dream completely. im guessing my brain put fei dus experiences onto my real life ppl#for the sake of a dream but like. usually if i read horror or murder mystery i ysually have significantly nicer calmer dreams#this is Not normally how my brain stores them#but uh. ive been stressed so maybe my dream wouldve had me almost stabbed in Dream either way
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me: hey it's super cool that your kid is interested in history, but you really should keep an eye on where she goes and what she does on the internet, because she might get radicalized while looking up info
brother: no she's too smart
me: ....... she's ten fucking years old.
#screaming#its great that shes interested in history and stuff but the fact that shes into ww2?#please for the love of god monitor her content!!!!!!!!!!#if my niece ends up as an alt right little shit im going to MAUL SOMEONE.
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ah, i wrote a lot, whoops.
My husband and I developed a theory so please play along and tell me where you are in birth order (oldest, middle, youngest, only) and if you think having siblings is overall a positive or negative thing.
#i'm the second of two sisters#and honestly... i'm really neutral on this under the consideration that my relationship with my sister isn't normal at all.#there's a six year difference between us-- she's older than me at 30.#but when i was 8 and she was 14 she ended up running away#and i didn't see her again or have her back in my life for three years#but she comes back with a 1 year old baby boy and suddenly i'm an aunt???#i think i cried for days when i found out.#even while i just typed that i'm tearing up about the memory.#now i have a nephew AND a niece two years apart and even their relationship is slightly strained by no fault of their own#they're 12m and 10f. but i worry my niece is going to act out in some reckless way#and maybe even run away like her mom did bc of the pressure she's putting on her#like our mom did to our sister.#this was really long winded and i sidetracked.#my sister was not kind to me as kids. i was chased by her with a knife and various other things.#at the time i didn't understand how upset she was that suddenly our dad was gone from our life-#-and how i've now got a lifelong illness at 6 years old-#and suddenly she's the last person who gets attention from anyone.#she definitely needed that attention too; especially now.#she's not so violent or aggressive with me now or anything; besides#I'M BIGGER THAN HER. STRONGER THAN HER. (cue tiktok video)#like i can defend myself if she ever decided to act out; but we're both adults now and it's different.#we've felt the frustration of the pressures put on us; of us having to grow up sooner than what's the norm.#i wish everything could go back and we could start again.#with what i know now? i probably wouldn't have been so much of a snivelling brat that tattled on her for shit#she probably wouldn't have run away and had two kids before she turned 20.#i wish i could say our relationship's positive-- even at this point in our lives.#but we don't talk all that often. we aren't close-- nor do we share secrets like normal siblings do.#it's a little heartbreaking.#uhhhh..... so hopefully all of this helps with your guys' theory? i know it's a lot. i'm really emotional today. sorry!#🗣: some nice thoughts
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*eye twitch* this kid. Some days.
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