#my mom’s gonna be like are you okay when I’m a zombie tomorrow and imma be like

[spinjitsuburst]

I’ve been reading a very very very dark Skybound Fic all night and I feel slightly ill but I’m so so obsessed with literally every “how Jay’s lightning works” headcanon

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x16 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

       * MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary * 

14x16 : Don’t go into the Woods

Giulia: Them gay vibs

Nat: Sam

Giulia: And poor baby sam

Zee: No not Sam like that again

Nat: I like that it's focused on Sam

J:  I’m me again 

Giulia: I like Jack with powers!

* turns snake to ash *  

Giulia: Not like that!

Zee: Holy shit

Nat: I feel different now

Zee: Stronger

Nat: Ew

[Melodic Whistling ]

Giulia: Benny is that u babeh ?

Zee: Yeah. They ded

Kat: Of course they are

Guy: It was nothing. Just the wind.

Giulia: JUSt tHe wInD.  OOOH THAT IS CREEPY

Girl : Okay, that -- that wasn't the wind.

-she smart

Nat: Notice that in every movie the guy says that it's nothing?

- That tells a lot about men’s priorities. Creepy whistling in a desert park at night? that pussy tho.

Guy: Dad?

-YIKES

Barbara: Hi, sheriff

-Y I K E S

Giulia: But also….Come on let them have some back seat bingo

Zee: Guys are dumb. Think with the downstairs head

Nat: Why are you going away girl?

Kat: Because she’s dumb

Zee: REALLY?? IN THERE??

Nat: Yeah. i would back out of that bathroom

Nat: i mean. Ew

Giulia: I would burn my hands in holy fire to sanitize them

Barbara: Oh, God.

Kat: Oh hell no

Zee: Every place is a bathroom IS SHE SITTING??

Nat: I would rather pee outside of the bathroom.

Kat: And she’s clearly sitting

Nat: she fucking is

Kat: Disgusting

Giulia: No woman would sit on that. THAT SO INACCURATE, who wrote that ep? *goes look at it* MEN, of course , a woman would never have wrote that girl sitting on that filth.

Giulia: Fuck that’s creepy

Giulia: Ba ba ba

Kat: So glad I stayed up to the middle of the night to watch this 🙄

Giulia: Ba barbara ann

Nat: stop giuls lol

Kat: Taaaake my hhhaaannnnndddd

Nat: So she ded

Nat: sweet hope you can sleep

Giulia: Aw look at that, the bunker looks so dark and empty. I hate it now.

D: Morning sunshine! What you looking at?

Zee: This man is huge

Nat: Porn? Nip slips?

-sex tapes??

S: The Internet is more than just naked people. You do know that, right?

Zee: Naked people

D: Not my internet

Giulia: Not OUR internet. ( oh shit let me censor the nip word before tumblr freaks out)

bla bla bla, girl, bla bla bite marks,animal attack. bla bla bla our kind of thing.

Kat: Mah boys

D: I know you wanted to take some time...

Giulia: ‘I’m gOoD’ 

S: Honestly, I-I'm good.

D: ( u full of crap) All right. Well, let's hit it.

S: You got it. I'll grab Cass.

D: Mm. He actually left. Early this morning.

Giulia: *barely keeping in a squeal*  I’m not gonna go there

...I went there

D: I don't know. Something about being cooped up in the bunker for a few weeks. We all need to stretch our legs. I get it.

Zee: What’s wrong with Deans hair?

- WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN? 

Nat: thank god i'm not the only one who notices. Thought it was just me

D: Uh...I don't want Jack on this.

D: His powers have gotten us in trouble in the past -- the security guard.

Dean is actually so right right now, but still....Jack alone?...mmm don’t like that

Kat: Look at the baby bean studying

J: Did you know Article 246 of the Haitian criminal code115  officially makes it against the law116 to turn a human into a zombie?

D: Good

Nat: Pre King hair

Kat: Too much gel?

Giulia: Lots of wax I think, gel would be too shiny

J: And...you don't want me to come?

SOBS 

D: We don't want to leave the bunker empty. In case, uh, Mom or...some of the other Hunters call and need help, so... this place is long overdue for a restock. So, uh, your mission, should you choose to accept -- made you a list.

Look how uncomfortable Sam is. 

No ones lies like a Winchester lies.

Nat: My mission is shopping

Zee: Beer again

S:  Twice? D:  Yeah.

Nat: Will he get beer tho?

Kat: Is it your list?

Nat: He's only 2 years old

Zee: He got my shopping list

Kat: True

Zee: Shut up

D: We’ll be in touch. ( let yeeeeet the fuck out )

Sheriff: I don’t see how this is FBI business

S, D: RUDE

Giulia: Sheriff’s right tho

Zee: That close up. Thank you

Nat processing Dean’s hair :

Nat: Not liking that hair

Kat: It’s weird

S: You know, do you mind if we take a look at the body?

Sheriff:  Do I have a choice?

-that sheriff has 0 fucks

D: Not really.

Dean has 0---> ∞  fucks

Giulia: AHAHAH

Nat: Seriously?

S: How long you been doing this?

Zee: Cat like reflexes

Kat: Lolol he jumpy

Nat: yeah of course lol

Nat: He scares easy he's getting old

-Another still of Dean’s hair for Nat

Giulia: Jack so rigid tho

Kat: Hey it’s an improvement over season 4

Nat: groans

Zee: The kids again

Giulia: Ugh them again

Why in the fuck there the Ghostfacers tune . NO. Also weren’t they like...broken up or something

E: The ghostfacers are cool

- eeeh

Giulia: Bambi lol

Nat: Bambi

Zee: Bamby

Kat: Why they forcing these kids on us?

Stacy: Are you lost?

- Lol like a puppy, I can see that, oh wait ....

Giulia: OMG

Ghostfacers : Winchesters still suck ass, though

Nat: Ghostfacers

E: Are they (Sam and Dean) fighting ghosts?

J ( with the worst neutral tone ever) : What’s a ghost?

Giulia: I SHOULD GO

J: I don't like to lie.Like when you have to burp, but you can't burp.

Zee: It makes my stomach hurt

Nat: you can't burp

Kat: CAN’T BURP

Nat: Dean should teach him

Zee: That among other things

Stacy walks closer with a smirk

Giulia: NO BAD KIDS

Nat: What are these kids?

Kat: Apparently not

Giulia: STAY AWAY FROM MY INNOCENT SON

Stacy: Not anymore. [shows keys]

OH THANK GOD, I thought they wanted to break in or something. I don’t trust them.

I literally couldn’t care less about the sheriff and his son sorry, byee

Giulia: I’m sorry but am I ahead of yall ?

Kat: Idk are you?

Zee: Where are you ?

Nat: lol yeah, don't know?

Kat: I’m in the store

Nat: they're in the store

Zee: 12:13

Giulia: Yeah I’m a bit ahead

Nat: Zeta is ahead

Zee: I am?

Max: I mean, living with a bunch of dudes. Their whole place must smell like beer, Kleenex, and Old Spice.

Nat&Kat:  Old spice 🤣

- I can live with that, I don’t give a shit.

Zee: Zombies are real?

J: Well, no. Not really. It's kind of disappointing.  But there are other monsters.

Nat: Jack, don't tell them!!

J: Rugaru *chuckles* That’s a funny name. Yeah

Zee&Nat: Will you be my best friend ??

Giulia: NO WILL U BE MY BEST FRIEND

Nat: HOW ABOUT NO

Max: Do you ever, like, hang out?

J: Well, we have movie nights on Tuesdays Dean usually picks. I've seen "Lost Boys" like 36 times.

Nat: AWW...LOST BOYS

Max: I mean with kids your own age.

Nat: but 36 times?

- Eh it’s Dean what did you expect 

Nat: oh god

Giulia: I’m two

Giulia: I don’t like him hang out with them

Nat: #leavejackalone2k19 #STAYAWAYFROMJACK2K19

Giulia: No but wait , maybe being with kids will help him, now that he doesn’t have a soul

Max: Well, we're going to the Stoke place tomorrow, if you wanna chill. It's this old farmhouse outside of town. No one goes there.

Nat: I'll rip your lungs out if you hurt him

J: I think I’d like that

Kat: NO

Zee: Remove your spine and hit you with it

S: Kohonta.

D: Gesundheit.

Nat: I can't get over the hair

Kat: sweet mortal flesh lol

D: You think this is our Hot Lips?

S: I mean, according to the lore, Kohonta get so starving, they spit up stomach acid.

Nat: THE HAIR

Kat: Stop staring at it

Nat: tHe HaiR

Zee: Focus Nat

Kat: Stop it

Nat: I FOCUS, ALRIGHT? on THE HAIR

Giulia: I can’t

Kat: So many dead people

Giulia: Everytime there is whistling I just want to see Benny

Kat: STOP IT

Nat: iT's JuSt ThE WiNd

Giulia: Well that’s fucked up

Nat: That's not creepy

Zee: Now you run

Kat: TOO DAMN LATE NOW

Giulia: Who the fuck fall and stay down?!

Nat: Well, yeah THAT is. Really? saliva?

Wow the weather was shit that day of shooting. Did they get sick ?

Giulia: I feel like the sheriff knows something

Kat: Kinda seems like it

Nat: He probably experienced it again

Zee: They always do

Nat: THE HAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRR

Nat: Sam's hair is good wet though

Zee: Sam wet is good

Kat: Sam looks good wet

Giulia: He does

Sheriff: Look, I don't care if you guys are the FBI. Nobody goes in those woods without my say-so.

Giulia: Sheriff is getting on my nerves

Nat: I can't even focus, the damn hair

D: Well, we should probably do what he says.

S: Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Giulia: Awe they are cute

Nat: Third wheeling his way on the kitchen table

Zee: Is pussy block a thing? Like cock block?

E: If you two are going to kiss, can you go to the other room? I'm trying to work here.

Elliot is Sam

Nat: OH NO JACK NO

Giulia: NO

Giulia: THE FUCK. GOD DAMN IT

Kat: Oh Jack 🤦🏼‍♀

Nat: I TOLD YA HE SHOULDN'T GO

Nat: "Yeah, you invited me"

J: I like The Who.

Giulia & Kat: THE WHO

Giulia: Jack your Dean is showing

Stacy: Who?

-Oh shut up everybody knows who The Who are

Max: Oh, my aunt listens to them. They're...old.

J:  Well, Dean says any music made after 1979 "sucks ass."

Nat&Zee: Sucks ass

Max:  That's because Dean is also old.

Nat: HEY FUCK YOU, NO BODY IS ALLOWED TO CALL DEAN OLD . Except us

Kat: HE’S OUR OLD MAN

Giulia: ... [with Misha tone when is done with Jared in the bloopers] Max is cancelled.

J: unless they've possessed a human. Then, they can look like me or you...or anybody.

Zee: He’s creeping them out.

Giulia: He’s gonna freak them out

Kat: He’s gonna scare the shit outta these kids

Nat: NO JACK BABY STOP

E: And you've seen one before?

J: I’ve killed one

Kat: What if they are possessed

Giulia: If I so hear one of them saying “let’s call a demon” imma throw tables

Max: [Chuckles] Yeah? How?

Giulia: Listen MAX IS TROUBLE

Kat: They all are

Zee: Demon killing 101

Giulia: LOOK JACK IS COOLER THAN THAT

Nat: Baby Bean

Nat: I'm glad it's dark and I don't see them hair

Giulia: BUT THEY SHINE

Nat: oops, there they are

Zee: Sam squint

Kat: The damn sheriff

Nat: What is wrong with that sheriff

Giulia: ok but the sheriff sneaking to the Winchester tho.Like...badass

Nat: LiAR

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: There we go

Always remember Jo and her shotgun tho

Kat: That’s my boy

Jack.....Babe....

Nat: Jack, baby, just go home, alright?

Zee: Jack baby. Stop doing that

Giulia: Don t fucking use the powers

Nat: NO

Kat: Oh shit he’s gonna use magic

Zee: No no

Nat: OH SHIT NO

Kat: JACK NO

Giulia: Mmm don t like that

Nat: JACK SERIOUSLY STAHP

Zee: Yeah. He’s fucking anakin

Giulia: Don t like that

Nat: Jack, if you don't listen to me I can not help you

Giulia: The brunette is the only smart one

Kat: He’s gonna lose control and stab someone

Nat: Yep

Giulia:  “The brunette is the only smart one” I WAS WRONG

Kat: Oh shit

Zee: Crap

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: ok but honestly she went right through it

Nat: Jack baby, why don't you listen?

Giulia: He right she moved

Zee: Can’t he fix her?

Nat: They calling 911

Nat: He can't…..Oh he can

Giulia: Ok but FUCK STACY. Bitch could have stayed put

Zee: Look at him.

Nat: But like, does he still have a soul at all

Giulia: Who fucking go running around when someone is making a blade floating

Kat: Jack shouldn’t have been using his powers

E: I don't know... what you are. But stay away.

Giulia: Oh my heart hurts

Nat: Yeah, like, didn't they teach the kids not to do that? right?

Zee: Common sense

Giulia: Ok but I mean...she could have turned around. She just went like ...to him

Kat: Yup he’s going dark side

Nat: She wanted to stop him

Giulia: Again...she run into the damn blade

Nat look at this!

Zee: The way Dean says “thing” is my new sexuality

Nat: Doomed to roam the woods and whistling pfffffff

Giulia: Keeps the folks away Yeah how that ever worked

D: Like I said, we hunt these things.

Sheriff : What do you mean?

S: Kohonta, werewolves, demons.

Sheriff: Those are real?

D: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And we kill 'em.

Nat: That smirk

Zee: The smirk. THE SMIRK

Nat: Almost make me forget the hair

Zee: What hair?

Sheriff: Just the two of you?

S: We know what we're doing.

Sheriff wants to tell people.

YOU SURE FAM?

Giulia: Put them on you tube.Yeah that sounds fun

S: It doesn't work like that. Even when they know how to fight,

Zee: People die People still die

Giulia: Like..kids in spn are dumb as dirt. See...?

Nat: Dumb kid 2.0

Giulia: Dumb as dirt

Zee: Silver blade through the heart.

Giulia: Always silver blade of course

Zee: That works for a lot of things

Giulia: That’s not the meat he’s looking for

Kat: He wants the other other white meat

Nat: Every time I hear the whistling I think that the Saviours are here but then I realize that it's not The Walking Dead

Giulia: Like yeeeeah where u at NEGAN BB

Nat: my body is ready

Giulia: Mine too

Zee: Don’t go there ffs

Giulia: I wanna go right there

Nat: Raining = Wet hair.Wet boys

Giulia: Wow fuck that thing

Nat: lol how Dean carried him out with his bowlegged squat

Giulia: Nat! People are dying!

Nat: Oh give me a break

Zee: I was just thinking of that

D: You don't like that, huh?

Giulia: COME ON

D: That was like full-on "Raiders."

Nat: Yeah like ew

Nat: What is this EP even

Zee: Green goo

Giulia: that’s me when I’ll meet Misha

Awe Sammy is worried about that dumb kid 

Have some hair again Nat

Giulia: I don t trust that wound on him tho

Kat: Thinking the same thing

S: He's your son. He deserves the truth.

I DON’T LIKE THAT SENTENCE SAMUEL

Nat: Babies in Baby

D: Do what we always do.

Nat&Giulia: When in doubt...lie

Giulia: When in doubt bacon

Nat: when in doubt...eat

Zee: When in doubt , beer

Zee: Can I sit in the back seat ?

Giulia: Can I sit on him?

Zee: He wouldn’t be able to drive bitch

Giulia: He would don t worry

S: And do you think you really took care of it the right way?

D: Jack said he was fine.

Dean...he’s two

S: And when we were kids, how many times did we tell Dad that we were fine just to make him happy?

OUCH 

Nat: So will they go all Dad on Jack?

Giulia: I fucking hope so

J: How was the Hunt?

D:  Oh. Uh...disgusting.

J: I got the supplies. Except for the beer.

Dean like....THE FUCK BRO. you had one job.

J: I didn't have ID.

D: You have tons of IDs.

J:  They're fake.

Dean’s like.... he’s your son.

S: Jack... listen bla bla bla bla bla bla 

Meanwhile , Dean is having an existential crisis

Zee: Tons of ids

Nat: They're fake

Giulia: We want to talk to you about your powers. That looks like THAT TALK

Nat: Will he tell them?

Zee: One of them at least

Nat: #worried dads

D: we didn't want you coming along because we didn't want you using them.

S: Not yet. Not for now.

D: Before you go all X-Men. It was crappy of us not to tell you. You know, we were trying to be nice. 'Cause we care about you. But because we care about you, you deserve the truth.

Giulia: TELL THEEEEEEM

Nat: JACK

S: You understand that?

Zee: He didn’t say it

Kat: He’s not gonna

S: I mean, anything happen while we were gone?

Nat: YOU'RE LYING

Giulia: TEEEEELL THEM U DUMB BAMBI

Kat: Oh he’s so going darkside

Giulia: fuck it

Nat: learned it from the best

Giulia: He’s a Winchester

Zee: Fuck Shit

Kat: Dun dun dun

I’m with Dean on this... Imma get some beer. 

[ post episode]

Giulia: PROMO

Giulia: OK I DON T LIKE THE PROMO. MMM MMM NOPE

Zee: Me neither

Kat: Ugh Nick and Anael? gagging noises

Zee: Well that left me a bittersweet taste in my mouth

Giulia: I like anael tho. She looks after herself, doing her thing, work it. yas gurl get it.

Giulia: NICK THO, NICK CAN GO FUCK OFF

Zee: Such a kind spirit

Giulia: Look that was probably him with Donny ok? And I like Donny

Kat: To me, she doesn’t add anything. I don’t hate on her, just don’t know why she has to be on the show 🤷🏼‍♀

Giulia: Well that’s why she isn’t in it that much

Nat: i will watch the promo later. but what anael?

Giulia: Cas told her he needs to talk to god

Nat: but like i don’t get it? who plays god now?

Kat: No one? We don’t see him

Giulia: Ok but ...angels guys! We need more angels that are not dicks

Zee: 

Giulia: scoffs

Nat: and why should anael know since she left heaven. if anything naomi should know

Giulia: But would naomi say shit to castiel without something back? And honestly ....that bitch made swiss cheese of his brain, I doubt he want to spend time with her

Nat: anael sure doesn’t have a great rep in heaven either

Giulia: Neither does Cas

Nat: fuck I’m late

Kat: Go work.

Kat: Get that money

Zee: Bring home the bacon

Giulia: Kick ass

Zee: Take names

Zee: Well that was a pleasure ladies. As always.

Giulia: Yas. Gonna go for a run now

Kat: Burn my calories for me please

Zee: Go to sleep babe

Giulia: Also ...yay I won't spend a lot on the commentary 🙌🏻

Zee: whispers I’ll need a couple of gifs. For... science. Ya know

Kat: The smirk

Giulia: I’ll make so many Dean’s hair gif just for @Nat

Zee: That’s plain wrong

Kat: Good, she’ll love that

Giulia: chuckles right?

Zee: That hair was all kinds of wrong

Nat: NO

Giulia: Too late

.

.

. 

And y’all? did you hate those hair as much as we did? 

.

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat      @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day  @ravenhg @evvvissticante  @legendary-destiel  @dustythewind