#my mom making me watch like classic comedy movies meanwhile i’m like

[lovevalley45]

this is reminding me that it’s been too long since i watched desperately seeking santa,,, thinking of forcing my mother to watch it on christmas day

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: THE HAPPIEST SEASON

You guys! I finally watched the lesbian holiday movie!! Though when I texted my mom to tell her I was finally watching this, she thought I was talking about The Prom and I laughed for a real long time about it (mainly because it will take me an even longer time to get around to hate watching that!) It already took about a month to get to this one. There is a lot to discuss here - and also one wig!

So this is the first (big budget) holiday lesbian movie, which I am very here for. However, most of the movie feels like a combination between My Best Friend’s Wedding, Meet the Parents, and The Family Stone but with lesbians. Those movies were made between 1997 and 2005 and this movie feels like it should exist somewhere in that time as well. The whole plot of the movie is basically that Kristen Stewart (Abby) has to pretend NOT to be Mackenzie Davis’s (Harper’s)  long-term girlfriend for the sake of Harper’s conservative family with local political aspirations while also spending 5 days with them during Christmas. It’s a conceit that exists solely in these brand of garbage holiday rom coms but definitely one that feels bizarrely antiquated as well. 

Anyway! There is only one wig in this movie which belongs to Davis, who had a vastly superior lesbian wig in that one episode of Black Mirror that made us all cry. We first see this under this hat where it should have hidden for the rest of the film! 

Sadly, the next scene involves the full emergence of this wig and truly: NO. This thing is dried out, bent, and disheveled in not a cool way (Stewart’s actual hair is disheveled in a cool way, though). The entire presence of this wig bothers me because: just have her have whatever hair she has? This is not a historical recreation (that I’m aware of?) and she is not playing a real person! This feels like when SNL cast members wear wigs in sketches for similarly non-existent reasons. However, SNL wigs are vastly superior to this mess!

So anyway, Harper invites Abby to have Christmas at her parents’ house in the heat of the moment during a very romantic (?) Pittsburgh Christmas lights tour which is apparently something that exists. Abby conveniently, and completely for the sake of this plot to work (?) does not like Christmas and also is an orphan, getting rid of any possible Christmas plan conflicts. And then literally on the way to visiting Harper’s family, she is all: by the way, they don’t know you’re my girlfriend or that I’m a lesbian and you have to go along with it for sake of this movie to exist even though this is absolutely a terrible thing to ask of anyone, periodt. But we are beginning to find out that Harper’s character is as full of garbage as her wig. 

So we meet the parents, who are Victor Garber, Mary Steenbergen, and also Mary Steenbergen’s iPad which vulture correctly identifies as the star of this movie AND IT IS. Especially during the end credits where we get to see all the pics the iPad takes! But I’m getting ahead of myself. The parents live in one of those cavernous houses that is definitely a mansion but tries to feel homey even though it probably has about 12 bedrooms and usually only exists in a Nancy Meyers movie. Despite its amount of bedrooms,  Abby has to sleep in a basement bunker which also doubles as a well organized rubbermaid storage unit. For the rest of the movie, Abby is treated like a subhuman trash person much in the way Ben Stiller is treated in Meet the Parents and Sarah Jessica Parker is treated in The Family Stone, except they don’t also have to pretend to not be in a relationship with the family member they arrived with. This conceit becomes so degrading that you honestly wonder why these people are still together!

Abby endures scene after scene of total nonsense and still looks better than the wig on her terrible girlfriend. Which starts actually looking better in a few of these scenes but still is very much a terrible and noticeable wig which is on par with Rachel McAdams’ wig in Mean Girls in that we are constantly told that these women are gorgeous and every single time I ask “YOU MEAN WITH THAT TERRIBLE WIG ON THEIR HEADS????” I suppose this wig was “necessary” because Harper’s two sisters also have long-ish brown hair so they were going for some sort of familial consistency except one daughter has a terrible wig and the other two have hair. Also one sister is Alison Brie, who plays a harpy so awful that she starts to make Harper look palatable and one sister is Mary Holland, who also cowrote the script, and definitely wrote herself the only character who I’d like to meet in real life. 

Along the way, we also meet Aubrey Plaza, who I usually hate because she is just one-note sullen, but here is actually great as Harper’s high school ex-girlfriend who Harper outted and allowed to be bullied and wow Harper - you have been terrible for decades!! Also compared to Harper, Aubrey has beautiful (real) hair, doesn’t lie to her entire family, and has actual chemistry with Abby. I very much wanted Abby to end up with Aubrey and I am not alone! Harper somehow avoids Abby for most of the time they are both staying in the same (albeit huge) house and there is even a dumb subplot about Abby being framed for shoplifting while trying to buy a gift for the parents’ very important white elephant gift exchange during their very important Christmas Eve party and I wonder if any of these people really knows what a white elephant gift is or how to exist in society? Meanwhile, as Harper reverts to being more falsely  heteronormative at her parents house, I started to wonder if her wig was trying to serve a larger purpose in showing how fake this character is but: no it’s just a bad wig. Also this movie really does the impossible: it makes me care about and feel bad for Kristen Stewart! 

Although I did find it highly questionable that though they are the stars of a romantic comedy, neither Kristen Stewart or Mackenzie Davis is funny AT ALL. Like not even a little! Which makes the “comedic” plight of Stewart all the more upsetting! All comedy is left to the one good daughter (Mary Holland) and also all gay men in the movie. This is mainly Abby’s bff and national (Canadian) treasure, Dan Levy and also Drag Race faves Jinxx Monsoon and Ben De-La-Creme in this one gay bar scene which is honestly truly inconceivable and except for further cementing the fact that Abby and Aubrey really should get together. 

In the end, Alison Brie finds out Harper’s TERRIBLE SECRET THAT NO ONE IN 2020 COULD POSSIBLY FATHOM (that she’s a lesbian) and they have a fight in the middle of the white elephant party which reveals that all the family has been competing for years for each other’s love which is really really messed up and now I kind of hate everyone in this family. And also Harper is outed to her entire terrible family and also Ana Gasteyer (and also a room full of other randos). And she denies her lesbian truth!  I recently watched Uncle Frank which is essentially everything Hillbilly Elegy wanted to be but is Shakespeare compared to that mess, and a similar scene occurs but that character bravely faces the truth - and in 1970s SOUTH CAROLINA!! I don’t know what time or space this movie thinks it exists in but it is baffling. Still, Dan Levy gives an emotional monologue about how no one can decide when anyone else is ready to come out of the closet so: FAIR. And then Harper does come out and the entire family kind gives absolutely no reaction to this until Victor Garber says it’s ok?? ABSOLUTELY AND TRULY BIZARRELY PATRIARCHAL. And then Harper and Abby get back together in the parking lot of a Love’s convenience store which is as cheesy and clunky as any garbage holiday rom com so I guess this is definitely a new holiday “classic” which I’ll probably watch 100 more times and hate Harper and her terrible wig each time about as much as I hate Laura Linney’s terrible life choices in Love, Actually. AS CONFOUNDING AS HARPER’S WIG OR THE CHOICE TO GIVE HER ONE AT ALL!

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House: 11 Louds A Leapin Review or It’s My Bobby in a Box

Happy Holidays errybody! Christmas returns to this blog after a bit of a break to tie up some loose ends, and celebrate my birthday with a return to the loud house.  It’s honestly good to be back. While it can be a struggle to cover a pure comedy, I genuinely like the show a lot, even with it’s flaws i’ve gone into, and my regular reviews gave  me a running gag in my hatred of rusty and a new respect for the show. It’s just with a buiser schedule and me not actually trying to have something resembling order to things, I kept shoving Banned Together back despite really wanting to see it since.. you know.. Luna episode.. until it ended up sliding into ANOTHER set of episodes. It’s things like this why I have a queue now: while it’s not set day by day, in case I want to do more than one i na day, it is there to keeep some semblance of order and keep me on track so this dosen’t happen again.  So with all that being said.. why did I choose to do A DIFFRENT loud house episode for the second time in a row before getting back to the current season? Simple.. i’ve been putting this episode off personally for even LONGER. I meant to watch 12 louds a leapin back when it first came out at the start of season 2... and just never got around to it. And just kept never getting around to it, wanting to watch it at christmas but then forgetting to do so for the last 4 years. Spare a thought there.. 4 years. In that time 80 years have passed, an era of marvel movies have come to an end, a tick series has come and gone, She Ra has come and gone, ducktales premiered then annoucned it was ending.. my point is way too many shows are ending too soon, and i’ve let this slide for far too long. So I bumped this one up to finally take a look at it, as i’ve waited this long and didn’t want to risk missing it a fifth fucking time. So yeah i’m taking look at what’s probably a classic episode in the fandom with fresh eyes. Let’s see what I thought shall we? It’s Christmas Eve at the Loud House and Lincoln is once again Zach Morrising it up .

Not what I meant.. whatever that is. It’s been 30 years since that episode aired, probably a good 12 since I first saw it and I still have no idea why they did this or if it was giong to end in a three way before the girls showed up. We just don’t know and the greatest minds in the country are baffled.. and you know working on the vaccine and making sure it’s safe. 

No Linc is talking to the camera about it being christmas while gearing up to go sledding with his sled big red. Meanwhile the rest of the louds are doing their usual christmas activities which we get introduced to as Lincoln gets ready. The girls sub-plots here are, outside of Lori’s., less plots and more running gags, various shenanigans by the girls tying into their personalities and christmasy stuff. It works perfectly.. while it’s a bunch of gags.. the gags are funny and it’s neat to learn more about just how the girls celebrate christmas and what they get up to every year. It’s part of what’s to love about holiday specials as you get a once or twice in a series chance to see how our heroes celbrate the holiday and thus a look into stories, gags and character stuff very unique to the holiday. It also uses the fact LIncoln was the protaganist at the time very well, using him as our viewpoint to set up all the christmas goings on as he makes his way out of the house, so we can cut back to them later as his plot goes on. It’s really good stuff. So what are the girls up to? Let’s go down the list by age shall we?

Lori: Lori has the most involved plot anyway so it’s best to start here. Lori and Bobby are having their first christmas together... though it does bring up the fact that they’ve only been dating 2 years at most, yet plan to get married.. I mean that is a lot but your also 18. Then again time is nigh incomprehinsiable to unpack in the loud house, and at least 3 years passed in the one year it took to get them all aged up, so I wouldn’t think about it too hard.  Lori, still being in huge bitch mode as she was early on, pressures bobby to get a good gift. She later gets said gift but despite being told to open it immideitly, her siblings chide her on her habit of tearing presents open and thus get her not to open it. So that’s a runner through the special, with Lana even putting her on a leash at one point, which I found hilarious. Less hilaroius is the conclusion as it turns out in the box on christmas day.. is BOBBY, who understandably is not looking so good...

Thankfully bobby’s not dead or they all would be, but still the poor boy missed christmas eve with his mom  and sister for this stunt. I mean I get it’s his fault, he’s apparently LITERALLY too dumb to live it turns out and should’ve you know made a noise sooner and probably didn’t want to ruin the suprise.. but we still nearly got an episode where a 4 year old had surivviors guilt for letting her older sisters boyfriend suffocate in a box. That’s dead santa from gremlins levels of fucked up. Thankfully Lori loves it and I assume bobby’s worried family joined them for christmas eve. That image fills my heart with hope. But seriously bobby never again we can’t loose you. At least not before Sergio. 

Leni: Leni’s is very simple it’s just a running gag of her taking various christmas things, making them into outfits then saying shhhh to whoever’s around when she hears, or in later cases is right there, with the person asking. Just a funny bit.  Luna: Is working on a christmas song. It’s one of the weake runners as the failed songs just aren’t that funny, but the payoff for the main plot makes up for it. WE’ll get to that.  Luann: Has one of my faviorite bits, her 12 puns of christmas which is both really adorable and leads to an adorable moment with her dad. Always loved their relationship. 

Lynn and Lucy: Are teamed up this episode which makes me genuinely miss how the two would be used as a pair ocasionally earlier on but just .. arne’t anymore> The rest of the girls status as roomates is used liberally but not so much these two. IT’s just weird and disheartning to me. That being said their plot is simply the two digging around to find where the presents are hidden, which I never got as why would you want to know weeks ahead of time. You can’t use any money to buy the stuff you dind’t get or they’ll know and they usually figure out you knew ahead of time and it just brings thigns down. But from a kid’s perspective I guess I get it and while it’s weird to have Lucy be one of the ones following I like it, as it shows that benath her gothy demanor she’s still just an 8 year old girl excited for christmas, and that’s adorable. A decent enough runner. 

Lana: Gets  a good one: She keeps accidently catching people, and a passing car in one case though she has a jack to help, in her reindeer traps. Its not only funny but really adorable especially since she dosen’t care about trapping SANTA persay, she just wants her own pet reindeer and frankly who wouldn’t want a rideable woodland critter who can fly. Dammit now i want one too. 

Lola and Lisa: Lola gets a fairly standard one tha’ts still pretty damn funny; She wants to get offf the naughy list by playing good for a day. What makes it funny is that last part.. that instead of doing it over a few days like most of this plot she’s trying to cram it all into one day while also trying not to strangle Lisa, who keeps showing up to say santa’s route is impossiuble. As ducktales covered he slows down time.. also you know.. not every kid celebrates christmas so ther’es probably a good number of houses he dosen’t have to cover in one night.  Lily: Just randomly pops out of stockings a bit. it’s precioous as it sounds.  The Parents: It had honestly been so long both since i’d seen a season 1 episode, and since the two had been both given actual names and fleshed out considerably, that i’d forgotten Rita and Senior had their faces obscured for all of season 1. It’s REALLY weird and jarring to go back to after getting to know them as fully formed people of their own over the past 3 seasons, and especally gorowing to love Senior, as he’s a loveably goofy dad but without the incompetence of most comedy dads. He can bumble but he’s also genuinely supportive, talented and pulls his weight in his marriage and family.  We do however start to really see their fully formed , full member of the cast perosnalities here: Rita is clearly tired from the sheer amount of shit she has to juggle, but is also nice and warm and while Lynn Sr.’s goofiness was established already, here it’s tempered into his current shape and his love of cooking and through role as the family chef is established. While he was established as cook earlier he goes from someone who’d use frozen food just to get by to a master chef who probably does use a lot of frozen stuff but can make anything taste good and will eventually have his own restraunt. It’s really fascenating to see them slowly emerge. They don’t really have plots themslves, and Lynn’s only real gag is wanting everyone to try his figgy pudding. 

So with the rest of the family covered let’s get to our main plot. Lincoln is sledding.. on the slide out back.. for some reason. 

The reason is simple.. his sled ends up in the yard of Mr. Grouse, their neighbor and old man who yells at louds. Lincoln explains grouse keeps everything that ends up in his yard and has taken a lot from the Loud Kids over the years. So lincoln.. uses the slide to sled.. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS YARD. 

I’ve been wanting to use pigtail kim since I made that one recently. But her points stands. What?!. I mean Lincoln can be stupid, he’s  only 12 it’s allowed, but usually more out of not realizing what he’s getting into or using kid logic. He’s not this brain dead. That’s Leni’s job. It just feels like plot contrivance. Just have him build some sort of contraption as a makeshift hill and tell the audience he’s doing this because his family dosen’t want him going to an actual hill on christmas or is too busy to take him. There are easier ways than this half assed rube goldberg machine of a setup. So naturally his sled ends up in the yard.. and he calls on Clyde to help....

Now if you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you know that reactoin is normally reserved exclusivley for this guy. 

But since Rusty was in his larval state with only a few apperances and hadn’t emeerged from his coocoon as the douche I know and love to take pot shots at, there was actually something WORSE. Something more obnoxious. And with far far worse implications. And that my friends was seasons 1 and 2 Clyde.  Clyde in the early seasons CAN be fine, and the self we know now. In fact I wish he interacted with the sisters more as the slumber party episode early on gave him a nice dynamic with all of them and the episode with him and leni was terrific. The problem one there was running gag with him, one character trait that utterly sucked the joy out of the room at best and made him into an unlikeable little shit at worst; HIs crush on Lori.  When she’s around at BEST he has a Master Roshi nosebleed, stammers her name and passes out, something that wasn’t funny the first time and quickly became grating the 80 other times they did it. But at worst, as he is here? He’s creepy, obessevie and worst of all. .a real dick to bobby. Who as we’ve established is...

So that was NEVER going to go over well and even ignoring that is still very bad. The little creep just constantly treats Bobby with hostility, which given this is Bobby, he dosen’t realize is going on. Any time their relationship is threantned Clyde’s main goal is to swoop in during the aftermath and win lori over. He constantly wants Bobby out of the way, The ONE TIME he dosen’t come off as a massive dick is when Lincoln thinks Bobby might be cheating, and that’s because Clyde isn’t planning on swooping into the wrecakge of someone’s relationship to get a girlfriend, but to punch the guy out for cheating on her. Bobby wasn’t and Clyde obviously isn’t capable of that, but it’s a bit more understandable and even CLYDE wants to make sure there’s evidence first. But more often than not he’s just under the assumptino Lori will be his despite the massive age gap, her having made it obvious she’s not intrested, and her being in  longterm relationship she’s really happy in with someone else. And this was season 1 lori who reacted to this, so the fact she’s not being the queen of all bitches about it only makes him look that much worse. And to add to that, Bobby not only KNOWS he has as crush on Lori but is suppportive of clyde, cheering him on when she kisses him once for doing something noble, and generally treating “Clydsdale” like he would any of Lori’s blood siblings. It was excurating then to sit through this every few episodes.. and it’s even worse now because the gag’s complete dissaperance from Season 3 onwards really paints the picture that this gag was entirely because series creator Chris Savino thought this was FUNNY and no one else did. And given he got fired for, you know, HARASSING WOMEN  AND NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER  you kinda see how an already bad bit was made worse. So yeah while the sled thing is bad this.. is objectively worse and drags the special down more. It’s thakfully not omniprescent but man is it hard to watch.  Clyde being in full dickhead mode is trying to get a kiss from lori and is using a missletoe hat for it.. And can we just agree that while Missletoe can be used well in stories, to help two shy people finally kiss or to ramp up romantic tension or what have you, that it’s often used by creepy douchebags to get kisses they don’t deserve both here and presumibly in irl before the plauge hit? We can? Good. But yeah that’s his plot, no suprise he gets one, bah hum bug. He also throws in some Bobby bashing by fantasising about him ending up in the yard and clyde ending up with lori since Grouse keeps bobby.. even though instead Lori would just ignore clyde, storm over there and rip an old man’s spine out mortal kombat style. 

So yeah Lincoln wants his sled back, but he can’t do it alone as the old man scares him, hence Clyde coming in. They make an elaborate plan using some careful blueprints. 

Their real plan is to have Clyde disract grouse while Lincoln grabs the sled but it fails and mean mr mustard finds it and takes it inside. Desperate, Lincoln prepares to do some crimes and head into his house. Clyde is afraid he’l end up in jail and never get to visit because only family can. Clyde you are family. Plus Prison visits aren’t limited to relatives only, any show with a character in jail storyline will tell you that. But Lincoln makes a valid point that Grouse stole his property.. I still dont’ think this is the right way to handle it and his parents should just go over and ask the loud, irate asshole to give the kids stuff back he stole to be a dick, but this is a kids show and again we wouldn’t have a plot but unlike last time my head dosen’t hurt from this. He’s desperate, he knows that probably wouldn’t work and again he’s 12. 12 year old logic is fine.  Naturally he ends up getting caught as Grouse didn’t leave for long, though having found a photo of Grouse with a sled as a kid, understandably fires back on him that he wasn’t always like this. Why he like this. He also has the much farier point that again, it’s his property and “My yard my rules” is about as much a legal rule as a note saying “I can do what I want, ron”. But Grouse understandably, hey he’s a dick but the boyd id be and e, makes him clean up and after Grouse fails to get the loud parents Lincoln, via a comination of a charming family photo and Grouse talking to his sister on the phone, finds out the real reason he acts like this: He misses his family and being on a fixed income can’t visit them often as he tells his sister he won’t be home for christmas to see his sprawling family. 

And while it doesen’t excuse his actions.. it does explain why Grouse is so bitter: you would be too if you had a massive family who clealry loved you and your on good terms with.. but through no fault of your own and presumibly despite working hard toa fford retirment you just.. can’t see them. Their there and you have the phone, but you don’t know how to work the internet and it’s just.. not the same as seeing them. Your just seperated from them and can’t be near them or hear their voices or get hugs. Which.. given the current pandemic i’m sure MANY of you can relate to that.. to being seperated from your loved ones and trapped, and especailly many people mr grouses age are facing that. While this special is good even without the context of seeing it this year it especailly resonates and i’m glad I waited this long simply beaause it came at just the right time. Grouse tells him to leave not planning on calling his parents.

So in christmas special fashion, Lincoln is touched byt his story, and feels bad for the old curmudgeon. Sure they don’t get along and the bastard broke his sled.. but again you’d be bitter too in his shoes. The guy has nothing and is alone.. and Grouse has done nothing to deserve that, even with his actions resulting from it. No one should be alone on christmas.  So Lincoln tells his sisters, all of whom rally around him, including Luna whose writer’s block is broken as she finally realizes... 

And not singing about that was holding her back. Luna has her song and Lincoln, as expected has a plan.  And we soon see that plan as Grouse gets a knock on the door.. and finds the Louds, parents included, and The McBrides all there singing him a christmas song. It’s pretty decent and the first time we really get to see Nikka Futterman sing and i’ts beautiful> Ther’ed be better, and worse luna songs to come but this is still pretty neat and sweet. THey came to offer him deocrations, dinner, company.. and a one way bus ticket to his family... presumibly the family will pay the other way or he can easier the day after christmas. Point is he’s touched, and genuinely and sincerly thanks them and invites them in, with Grouse’s actor John DiMaggio REALLY selling it hard. 

So our heroes gather for Christmas Eve all together, and under Grouse’s roof with Grouse giving the kids their stuff back having had a change of heart. Sure he misses his family.. but the Louds and Mc Brides have shown him he dosen’t have to shut everyone out as a result. And while Grouse apologizes tht his sled is gone.. Lincoln’s fine with it he got something better.  So the next morning we end on the kids opening presents, and Lori saving her boyfriend from axphisxiation, seriously between this and strife of the party i’m really starting to sour on lana. Regarldess Lucy finally belivies in santa both due to gifts nd seeing him last night, while Lincoln finds a sled from santa.. and then goes outside to see Mr Grouse off, recognizing he’s the one who played santa in  a really sweet and senitmental bit. The two part on good terms even if Lincoln breaks another window. Things have changed if not that much.  Final THoughts:  If it wasn’t obvious, I REALLY loved this one. While it has it’s flaws, and Chris Savino sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms obviously.. it’s still a really sweet, well constructed special and I really recommend checking it out. It’s on the nick app if you have cable and on CBS All Acess if you have that. Until next time merry christmas to all and to all a good day. 

And if ther’es an episode of the loud house you’d like me to review leave it in the comments or you can comission a review of it for five dollars. Just direct message me to work out the details or send an ask for my discord. 

[jtsodergren]

The Best of 2019

2019, what an exceptional year for movies! A great way to close out the shittiest decade! Here are the 50 best films I saw this year... click on the title to go to the IMDB page, and I’ll try to post a link to where you can see many of them. Also for the first time this year, I’m including MOM WARNINGS! My mom reads this list and sometimes actually watches these movies... so to save her some grief, sadness, or general concern for my psyche, there will be a NOT FOR MOMS!! warning where applicable... here we go!

50. STAR WARS - EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (Amazon)

People really hated this movie... I actually really liked it! Aside from the horses running around on the outside of spaceships (which makes no fucking sense... didn’t Leia get all space frozen exactly one movie ago??), it was a satisfying conclusion to a franchise I guess I don’t really care about as much as other people, so I was into it!

49. JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM (Amazon)

Quickly becoming one of the more well produced action franchises of all time. Probably two too many machine gun shootouts in this one for me (I get a little exhausted with gun violence), but the hand-to-hand stuff is brilliant and bloody and badass! Not to mention the deepening of the mythology and Halle Berry and her dogs. It’s a fun time, a welcome addition to the series, and I can’t wait for number 4.

48. QUEEN & SLIM (Amazon)

Billed as the black BONNIE AND CLYDE and from first time feature director Melina Matsoukas, this atmospheric tragedy is gorgeous to look at, delivers a pair of standout lead performances, and proves to have one of the more stressful final 30min of any of the films I saw this year, even if you know the inevitable conclusion is just around the corner.

47. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (Amazon PRIME)

A wild Los Angeles noir story from the director of IT FOLLOWS. Plays like if David Lynch directed THE BIG LEBOWSKI, a weird, screwball whodunit. It’s a little long, and there are so many loose ends that seem to be thrown in just to fuck with the protagonist (and the audience), but it’s a really fun time and you’ll want to stay to the end to see it all play out. LA looks gorgeous too.

46. KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Netflix)

Truly inspiring. Really shows how if you put your mind to something, believe in yourself and that you can make a difference, you can accomplish anything. Regardless of your political leanings, or how you feel about AOC personally, this is well worth your time and it has a great message for young people, especially those young women of color who might not think they can achieve great levels of success. It made me cry the happy tears.

45. LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (Amazon)

Best known for it’s remarkable 59min-3D final take, this hallucinatory journey through memory and dreams is mind-blowing and breathtaking. Hard not to leave this one feeling like you’ve been put though some kind of experiment that you don’t fully understand, but you’ll want to experience again. Highly recommended if you have access to 3D, or simply have some killer edibles and want to be thrown for a loop.

44. CLIMAX (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of being under the influence, holy shit is this film nuts! From Gaspar Noe, who if you’re aware of his work, you kind of already know what you’re in store for here. It’s been described as “FAME directed by the Marquis de Sade”... incredible dance sequences and audacious camerawork that slowly but surely devolves into hell. It’s a blast!

43. HAIL SATAN? (Hulu)

A fresh and funny documentary about a group of smartass Satanists exposing the hypocrisy amongst bible-thumping Christians who’d rather stomp their feet and be the loudest in the room than listen to anyone else’s perspective. Frustrating and entertaining in equal parts, this compulsively watchable film makes you want to scream at these Jesus freaks as much as you want to laugh along with the antics of these harmless, intelligent and organized troublemakers. An excellent time well spent.

42. FIRST LOVE (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

Director Takashi Miike’s yakuza action-comedy is the most accessible of his films I’ve seen (he’s now made more than 100 movies, which is insane), but that doesn’t mean it’s not a gonzo wild time at the movies. The violence is here in full force, but unlike AUDITION or ICHI THE KILLER, you don’t need a barf bag close by to enjoy it. It’s often hilarious and moves at a breakneck speed. Super fun!

41. THE DEAD DON’T DIE (Amazon PRIME)

Jim Jarmusch’s star-studded, droll zombie-comedy came and went from theaters without much fanfare, but provided me with plenty of laughs. It’s also the second of 3 Adam Driver vehicles to be on this year’s list. Bill Murray and Driver lead the way along with plenty familiar faces in cameos throughout (including the RZA in one of my favorite scene’s of the year). Classic Jarmusch... a meditation on death and mortality in his vintage style.

40. EL CAMINO: A BREAKING BAD MOVIE (Netflix)

Dude, Aaron Paul is a legit GREAT actor. Picks up right where the show left off, and I was on the edge of my seat and filled with anxiety just like I was during the best moments of the now classic series. It was good to hang out with my old friends again.

39. DOCTOR SLEEP (Amazon)

A box office flop due to poor promotion and a title people weren’t familiar with, this sequel to THE SHINING is based on the Stephen King book of the same name, which I read, and I can’t recommend it more. Great suspense, and fantastic performances from both Ewan McGregor and (especially) Rebecca Ferguson. It’s a dark and scary film that is a fun trip back to the Overlook Hotel... provided you wish to return there...

38. THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO (Amazon PRIME)

About 90min into this beautifully shot film I was ready to lock it in as a possible Top 5 contender. Then the bottom fell out for me the last quarter of the movie and lost my confidence. No bother, it’s still wonderful enough to find a spot on the list and carry my recommendation. Young men and women watching their city change before their eyes, and wondering what the concept of “home” really means is a real challenge facing many people here in the Bay Area. This film does a fantastic job conveying that, for most of the film anyway. 

37. THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON (Amazon)

A bonafide crown-pleaser of a movie, and another example of the true talent Shia LeBeouf has and is capable of (more on him later). A young man with Down Syndrome escapes his assisted-living facility to track down his wrestling idol the Saltwater Redneck with the help of an outlaw and a social worker. Sweet, funny, and heartfelt... a feel good surprise.

36. A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Amazon)

I didn’t cry nearly as much as I did during the excellent documentary WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR from last year, but if you’re a Mr. Rogers fan, you’ll still shed a few during this heartwarming film. Tom Hanks does his thing, and even though this movie is guilty of borrowing a little too much from the previous doc, it’s still a great showcase for the truly selfless and beautiful force of nature that Fred Rogers was. Bring tissues anyway.

35. CARMINE STREET GUITARS (In Theaters Now)

A love letter to both New York City and the art, joy, and love that goes into honing and maintaining one’s craft. Meanwhile the looming doom of gentrification hovers over the proceedings, never letting you get fully enrapt in the sweetness that these artists (and their many famous customers) exude when talking about and playing their one-of-a-kind works of art. A stunning and lovely piece for musicians and talentless fans of music alike.

34. HOLIDAY (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A tough, cold film with nary a character to actively root for... until after about an hour of icy behavior comes (no pun intended) a scene so shocking in its graphic and disturbing nature, people left the theater without staying for the final resolution. First time director Isabella Eklof pulls off the bold and audacious maneuver, all while making it seem like she doesn’t care whether you like her characters (or her film) at all. It’s a very fine balancing act, executed to perfection. But be warned... it’s rough.

33. AVENGERS: ENDGAME (Disney+)

What can I say? You saw it. It’s good. A bunch of Supermans fly around and blow shit up. A satisfying end (until the next 20 films).

32. MIDSOMMAR (Amazon Prime)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A disturbing slow burn of a gothic horror film. Characters do hallucinogens while ritualistic religious murders and tribal mating practices threaten to ruin everyones existence. Florence Pugh is phenomenal (more from her in a minute) in a very trying roll. Doesn’t pack quite the punch of the director’s last film, HEREDITARY, but it’s still well worth the watch. But yeah, it’s disturbing.

31. APOLLO 11 (Hulu)

A fascinating look at the first moon landing from rarely seen archival footage and audio. Seeing it on the IMAX screen was intense and exhilarating, unlike narrative pictures like the severely overrated FIRST MAN. This isn’t my favorite documentary of the year, but it is an absolute lock to win the Academy Award for Best Doc of 2019. It’s a must see, a must experience.

30. HIGH LIFE (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

French auteur Claire Denis’ bizarre, erotic sci-fi mindfuck about isolation and humanity is not for everyone, but is a brilliant take on the genre, and is yet another showcase for Robert Pattinson, who is quietly becoming one of my favorite working actors. Juliette Binoche also is on fire here and has what one critic calls “the single greatest one-person sex scene in the history of cinema.” So it has that going for it.

29. TRIPLE FRONTIER (Netflix)

A fully loaded heist film with no real bad guy, but instead a group of recognizable badasses in a Netflix-released action thrill ride. There’s absolutely no reason this should’ve worked, or even been half as good as it is, but boy is it good! Compulsively watchable, and rewatchable. If this were on Showtime as much as DEN OF THIEVES is I’d have seen it 30 times by now. It’s one of the most pleasant surprises of the year.

28. 1917 (Amazon)

An unbelievable visual achievement from cinematographer Roger Deakins and director Sam Mendes. The story isn’t the greatest war story ever told (are there great war stories?), but it’s shot to look like one continuous long take, sustained for 2hrs. It’s really an unbelievable feat, but doesn’t come off as gimmicky or distracting. It’s intense, beautifully staged, and sad. A big screen spectacle. 

27. TOY STORY 4 (Amazon)

Woody and the gang are back, and the films continue to keep the dust from collecting. It’s still so much fun to hang out with this group of misfit toys. There was talk that after the incredible TOY STORY 3 this was just a money grab and was labeled unnecessary, but I found it to be a sweet, charming, and nostalgic trip I was glad I took.

26. HONEYLAND (Hulu)

My pick for documentary of the year comes from the mountains of Macedonia, where a woman named Hatidze lives with her dying mother making a living cultivating honey. When a family of shitheads moves into a shanty next door, what seems like a fix for her lonely existence becomes catastrophic as they disregard her teachings and threaten her livelihood. I was an emotional wreck throughout the experience and it goes without saying it’s a must-see. Gorgeous and heartbreaking.

25. LITTLE WOMEN (Amazon)

I have never read the book, nor seen any of the film adaptations, so I went in blind to this lovely film. Director Greta Gerwig follows up the phenomenal LADYBIRD with this Altman-esque rendition of the widely beloved literary classic. I found it exceptional in its execution and performances, including the previously mentioned Florence Pugh, who is a knockout. A wonderful addition to the ever-growing stable of Christmas films I look to enjoy during future Decembers.

24. GREENER GRASS (Hulu)

It’s as if Tim & Eric made BLUE VELVET. Bizarre, outrageous, gross, and a guaranteed future midnight movie favorite. My sides hurt. A satire skewering upper-middle class suburban soccer moms and dads alike. Babies are given away. A boy turns into a dog. Everyone has braces. There’s a creep on the loose. It’s wild and flat-out hilarious literally from start to finish. Almost too many jokes to keep up with. Watch it! Bring weed. 

23. RELAXER (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of gross, this film is disgusting, but in a good way. A satire about lazy consumerism and self-destruction. It’s a short hang, thankfully, but if you can stomach it to the end (remember, it’s nasty) you’ll be rewarded with not only a hilarious dark comedy, but also an unexpected haymaker of sadness you didn’t see coming. It’s a pretty impressive feat, and an overall success. But, yeah, it’s fucking gross. 

22. AD ASTRA (Amazon)

APOCALYPSE NOW in space starring Brad Pitt. If you need more information than that, I don’t really know what else to do for you. 

21. SLUT IN A GOOD WAY (Amazon PRIME)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A black-and-white raunchy French arthouse teen comedy that gives a middle finger to the double standard set by the equally raunchy teen-boys-will-be-boys genre. It’s so much fun, and honest, and the actors are such natural talents you forget the subject matter is at times shocking (only because of said double standard) and just go with it. I think it’s just wonderful. Seek it out!

20. US (HBO)

Jordan Peele’s excellent follow-up to GET OUT. Doppelganger home invasion terror with a killer twist. To describe more would be to risk giving something away. I’ll just say that Lupita Nyong’o is my pick to win her second Oscar, this time as Best Actress, here in a dual role. She’s incredible. If you haven’t seen it, try to go in blind, you’ll be rewarded.

19. THE FAREWELL (Amazon PRIME)

A heartfelt homecoming film about family, culture, and how the things we don’t say can be just as strong of a show of love as the things we do say. It’s sweet, tender, and bursting with personal flare and emotions from director Lulu Wang. Awkwafina also curbs her more manic and loud tendencies as a performer for more quiet, thoughtful, and somber choices. She’s phenomenal. 

18. KNIVES OUT (Amazon)

A clever ensemble whodunit that’s just as funny and smart as it is mysterious. Everyone across the board delivers as the assorted motley crew. The film rewards repeat viewings and Daniel Craig knocks it out of the park, stealing every scene he’s in, reminding us all what a fantastic actor he can be when he’s not sipping the Vespers. 

17. BOOKSMART (Hulu)

The female SUPERBAD is the elevator pitch, but this coming-of-age gem is really unlike any other example in the genre. They’re privileged, uber-smart, and have never partied. Yet they have the same neuroses as any other teen scared to death of what to do next or how to be normal. It’s also fucking hilarious. You wanna hang out with these girls and at the same time bury your head under the covers because you feel their pure terror/embarrassment. It’s a blast.

16. THE MUSTANG (Amazon)

Starring Matthias Schoenaerts, one of the finest actor’s working today, this understated and emotional drama about rehabilitation and redemption floored me upon first viewing. It is a gorgeous film. You’ve probably seen stories similar to this before, but rarely is one told with such compelling conviction. A borderline masterpiece. 

15. HONEY BOY (Amazon PRIME)

Remember a few years back we had the McConaissance, where everything Matthew McConaughey did was solid gold after years of middling bullshit? I’m calling it right now: Shia LaBeouf is about to have the same thing. He wrote the script and plays a version of his own father in a brutal version of his own fucked up childhood as an up-and-coming child actor. It’s heartbreaking and absolutely riveting. I’m hoping he gets an Oscar nod, but regardless I implore you to seek this film out, he’s incredible. 

14. MONOS (Hulu)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A bizarre, bewildering, chaotic, and unsettling film. Some of the most beautiful photography I saw on the big screen this year, yet some of the most surreal and disturbing imagery as well. It’s a militarized, Latin American LORD OF THE FLIES with commentary on tribal behavior and violence. It can be a tough sit, but boy is it beautiful. 

13. DOLEMITE IS MY NAME (Netflix)

What a wonderful, welcome surprise! Eddie Murphy in an awards caliber performance as Rudy Ray Moore, the multi-hyphenate performer who created the alter ego Dolemite, spawning a film franchise and many legendary comedy albums. It’s obviously hilarious, and a great behind-the-scenes biopic, but also shockingly sweet and heartfelt, even between all the cuss words. I even teared up a couple times. The 3rd best thing Netflix released this year (more on that in a minute).

12. JOKER (Amazon)

You already saw this.

11. THE IRISHMAN (Netflix)

It’s far too long. It could’ve done with being cut as a three part miniseries or special. There’s about 45min worth of scenes that are quintessential DVD bonus features (I’m looking at you Action Bronson), but goddamn if it’s not Scorsese doing his Scorsese thing. It’s a gangster film, but it’s also a meditation on aging and death. Pesci is incredible and Pacino steals the show. Sure, the de-aging thing is distracting, the curb stomping scene is embarrassing. But still, I mean... IT’S MARTIN SCORSESE!

10. PAIN AND GLORY (Amazon)

Pedro Almodovar’s most personal work to date, a tale about making art and the loneliness of love. If you are unfamiliar with his work, this is a great jumping off point. His movies can be challenging and dark, but this film has such joy and hope amongst the heartache. The final reveal, while not earth shattering on paper, is nonetheless so moving it left the screening I attended without a dry eye in the place. It is his best film yet. 

9. THE LIGHTHOUSE (Amazon)

From the director of THE WITCH comes another type of gothic horror, this time with the legendary Willem Dafoe and the (already mentioned) brilliant Robert Pattinson marooned on a lighthouse rock alone to drive each other completely insane. It’s hallucinatory, violent, disorienting, and flat-out brilliant. If it weren’t for another guy we’ll get to in a minute, Dafoe would be a lock for Best Supporting Actor here. It’s a slightly challenging film, with the period style mariner dialogue, but it’s just as funny as it is terrifying.

8. JOJO RABBIT (Amazon)

A beautiful, touching, funny, crowd-pleasing comedy about a little Nazi whose imaginary friend is Hitler. Yep, your read that correctly. There are about a million reasons this should absolutely not work. Yet, it’s one of the best theater going experiences I had this year. A must see... ESPECIALLY with Mom!

7. MARRIAGE STORY (Netflix)

The best written and acted film of the year, and the third Adam Driver vehicle to appear here. Sad but honest. Touching but brutal. It’s awkward and a bit of a bummer, but there’s such great work being done here, in front of and behind the camera. Noah Baumbach is a force of nature, and has yet to make a film I was even iffy about. He’s the real deal and this might be his masterpiece. 

6. WAVES (Amazon)

Speaking of auteurs, Trey Edward Shults is now 3/3 on features after the brilliant KRISHA and IT COMES AT NIGHT. Here he follows a middle-class black family, led by a domineering father, through a tragic moment in all of their lives. The first half deals with the son’s story, then abruptly switches to the daughter’s life post said event. It shouldn’t work, yet somehow manages to be one of the most emotionally affecting pieces of art I saw this year. The camera never stops moving, constantly swirling and whirling and you can’t help to be sucked up into it. It’s a beautiful tragedy.

5. LONG SHOT (HBO)

The biggest and most pleasant surprise of the year. An opposites-attract rom-com with more brains, bite, social commentary, and laughs than it has any right to have. Easily the most fun you’ll have with (almost) the whole family... there’s a lot of cum jokes. But don’t let the vulgarity dissuade you! It’s a total riot with just the right amount of sweetness to balance out the saltiness. I love love love this movie.

4. THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE (Hulu)

What starts as a strange, dark comedy morphs into a FIGHT CLUB-esque thriller with allusions to disturbingly toxic masculinity and an offbeat take on what it takes to “be a man.” It is laugh-out-loud hilarious, and expertly made, while really having something to say, and it says it in a way I’ve never really seen before. It’s not surprising this didn’t get more attention, the characters are truly difficult to relate to, let alone root for, but as far as originality goes, you’d be hard pressed to find anything this year much better than this. 

3. UNCUT GEMS (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

The cinematic equivalent of being locked in the brain of a lunatic having a cocaine-fueled anxiety attack. If that sounds like fun (AND IT IS!!!) then this is the film for you! Oh, and Adam Sandler is going to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor. For real. It’s a chaotic, stress-filled masterpiece.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD (Amazon)

My favorite filmmaker’s 2nd best film. A personal story about the love of film during the late 60s, a time of dirty hippies and Charles Manson, as well as the passing of the torch from old Hollywood to the “golden age” of cinema. It’s a fairytale of sorts, with Tarantino’s trademark flare for spontaneous violence and mining multiple genres to make his most mature work since PULP FICTION. I’ve been rewarded with new takeaways upon each subsequent viewing, and my love and appreciation for it only grows and grows. Brad Pitt is a lock for Best Supporting Actor, he’s magnificent. It was always going to be my #1 with a bullet no matter what, because it’s just that great...

1. PARASITE (Amazon)

...but then Bong Joon-ho, the master of new Korean cinema unleashed PARASITE. Not only is it the best film of 2019, it’s one of the best films I have ever seen. Like EVER ever. He is in such astonishing control of his craft it’s hard not to sit back and marvel and the sheer skill on display. You can be laughing one moment and then recoiling in horror during the same breath. He’s using multiple genre tropes, incredible set design, pitch perfect acting/writing, and such exquisite planning you can’t possibly know what’s in store for you from one scene to the next. It is an absolute masterpiece and if it doesn’t sweep every category it’s nominated for at this year’s Oscars, it’ll be a travesty. If you have even a passing interest in film as an art form, the power it can wield, and the messages it can convey, you owe it to yourself to see this film. It’s perfect.

Well, there it is. Thanks for reading any part of this. Now go see PARASITE. I love you.

[thequeenofcronuts]

Justify My Love - Chapter 7 - Best Day of My Life

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

American Authors- Best Day of My Life

Book: The Royal Romance Word Count: 5,070 - ish Long, But HAPPY Pairing: Maxwell x MC (Kristina Hampshire), Hana, Drake, OCs Warnings - Language

A/N In this TRR Series (Where books 2 and 3 are thrown to the wind): Kristina (MC) decides she cannot stay in Cordonia after the events of the Coronation Ball. Not so much caring about her own reputation, but caring for the life of the man she has been falling for, which is not the prince. She returns to New York and is faced with her heartbreak and regret while Maxwell is left in Cordonia struggling to understand the truth behind his feelings. Will they let each other go?

**All characters and named places are owned by Pixelberry Studios. Rights to the songs lyrics and  titles in this series belong to:

Justify My Love (Madonna) - Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Reach Music Publishing, BMG Rights Management

Best Night of My Life (American Authors) - Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Round Hill Music Big Loud Songs

Series Tags @littleblossom357 @alj4890 @cosigottahavefaith

——————————

  - Maxwells POV -

Hana, Drake, and Maxwell land in the late afternoon at JFK. After settling into their rooms they're on their to the corner coffee shop. “You know, Hana and Drake, I love this city. Why I’m sure you're asking yourselves. The reason to that question is simple, my friends. It's fueled by caffeine, is crazy fun, doesn't sleep, and it too holds Kristina Hampshire in its heart. New York is the perfect personification of me, Maxwell Percival Beaumont!” Maxwell's voice raises, “Hana and Drake, I raise my cup of this Cafė Americana with a double shot of expresso in a toast to Kristina!” Beaming Hana clinks her mocha latte with Maxwell's cup. They both stare at Drake. He picks up his overly expensive black coffee and joins in the toast.

Maxwell takes a long sip of his beverage then asks, “So, what is our plan for the rest of today? Oh wait! I have a super idea. We sho-” “Maxwell, I’m jet lagged, exhausted, and-“ “I’ll finish that for you Drake, and grumpy.” Maxwell tosses a sugar packet hitting Drake with a smack on the nose. “Anywho, I think we coordinate a flash mob. You know people can't miss seeing those. Awesome way to grab attention which could lead us clues on Kristina's whereabouts, while showing the city our dancing prowess.” Hana speaks up. “Ohhhh, what's a flash mob Maxwell?” Maxwell looks at Hana eyes wide in horror. “Oh my dear, sweet, sheltered friend, this is a flash mob.” He searches on his phone and shows her one of his favorites. “Oh, those look so fun!” She continues to giggle as Maxwell goes to the next video.

“Yeah, as fun as this has been, I’m going to take a nap. In my quiet hotel room. My very empty and quiet hotel room.” Hana and Maxwell with their noses stuck to the screen hardly notice Drake getting up. “Oh see you later Drake. Remember Hana and I will meet up with you later to discuss NYC: Operation Find Kristina.” Maxwell looks up and salutes. Turning back,  Hana asks, “I’ve never been here before, would you show me around?” Maxwell looks stunned. “You want me, ‘sense of no direction Beaumont, purveyor of almost certain non-safe antics, and fly by the seat of your pants activities to lead you around New York City?” “Well Kristina trusted you all over Cordonia, so I feel confident.” Maxwell grabs Hana’s hand and begins to pull her up behind him as he begins to jog from the table. She almost misses dunking their empty coffee cups in the trash. “Hey! Maxwell, slow down. Where's the fire?” “In the soul, Hana. Maxwell Percival Beaumont takes shopping and entertainment seriously. Now come on! You're too slow!!”

A long tour later they make it back to the hotel. Hana goes to her room for a bath and a quick nap, while Maxwell messages Drake about meeting up to discuss their plans for tomorrow. As soon as he steps on the elevator his phone pings. Drake suggests to meet at seven that night in Hana’s room. Maxwell quickly types, ‘Ah, yes. Her room has been command central. Seven is perfect.’ He makes it to his room and plops down on the bed staring at the ceiling. After a while he's up staring out the window finding shapes in the clouds and starts thinking about what he should say when he is finally face to face with Kristina. He heads into the ensuite to take a shower and relax before meeting with Hana and Drake.

——————————

- Kristina's POV -

The drive back from Atlantic City was uneventful. When they’re back Lisa cancels her and Stephen’s hotel room. Lisa stays with Kristina that night while Stephen stays with Daniel. The guys do some research on the country they just found out last night existed. While there is more information they thought they'd find, news was mainly about the King and the woman he chose for his queen. They did see the disgusting tabloid and news articles about the Tariq scandal which had them seeing red. Anyone who knew Kristina would be able to tell it was a set up.

Meanwhile Lisa decides on a night with one rule; no boy talk. But one filled with junk food, wine, and binge watching classic comedies like ‘Robin Hood Men in Tights’ and ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’. Kristina hadn't had girl time since hanging out with Hana. “Kris, I haven't heard you laugh like this until tonight.” “Well Lisa, a good amount of alcohol, junk food and movies can do that to you.” They both chuckle, but suddenly Kristina turns sullen. “Kris, you aren't breaking our only rule for tonight, are you?” “Not really, I just have to go back to the real world tomorrow.” “I get that Kris but we'll make sure it's better!” Kristina hugs Lisa tightly. “Kris, it was a long weekend and you do work tomorrow. I declare you need rest since you're taking a lunch shift instead of your normal dinner shift.” Kristina rolls her eyes. “Yes mom. Let me help you clean up at least.” Lisa looks at her exasperatedly. “Fine, you win.” She hugs Lisa again and heads to take a shower.

——————————

- Maxwell's POV -

Maxwell wakes with the sun. The night before the trio decided to take the morning and afternoon to themselves then meet up in the evening to head to the familiar dive bar. Maxwell goes out to grab a coffee and muffin. Sitting in coffee shop he decides to message Savannah. With the time difference it's a decent hour.

After the quick chat with Savannah, and finishing his caffeine, he decides to try anything to keep his nervous excitement under control. So he messages Drake.

Find something to do. I really don't want to be alone but it gives me more time to think. He decides Time Square sounds like a good place and calls a car. Soon he is lost in the mass sea of people. Perfect, tons of people around but still alone with my thoughts. He spots a bench and sits down watching the bustling area. I do not want to screw this up, I can't lose her before I even have her, and my words always get disconnected between my brain and mouth. Finally he gets the message from Drake.

——————————

- Kristina's POV -

Coffee, check. Hostessing approved outfit, check. Leaving on time because of Lisa, double check. “Lisa, are you two still hanging out with Daniel until leaves for his shift?” “That's the plan. Then Stephen and I are going to have a date night. You know you could get out of this apartment and hit the bar with Daniel while he works.” “Yeah, that's a hard no.” Lisa opens her mouth to say something but Kristina cuts her off. “Hard no, Lisa.” “You win, Kris. Have a good day at work.”

Lisa and Stephen hang with Daniel following the futile rabbit hole that is the internet. Other than seeing how charming Cordonia is, and why it's a great vacation destination, there's just normal news. They agree to continue later, with Daniel leaving for work.

——————————

- Maxwell’s POV -

Drake calls up a car while Hana inquiries, “So, what is the protocol for a dive bar exactly?” Drake and Maxwell answer simultaneously, “None.” Then Drake adds, “ Well, avoid bar fights. Hana just stick with Maxwell and me, and you’ll be fine.” She looks at Maxwell. “How are you holding up?” “Right now Hana, I feel excited, nervous, happy, scared, hopeful, and I want to dance. You know the feeling?” Drake looks at him and answers with a deadpan expression, “No Maxwell that is the oddest string of adjectives ever.” “Well, buddy, that's how you know it's me.” He says proudly while slapping Drake on the shoulder. The car stops in front of the bar, and Hana’s small voice is almost a whisper. “This, is really it? Kristina worked here?” Drake sees her horrified eyes. “Yes Hana.” Hana gulps, “Okay…this is a little different than the bar Western bar in Cordonia.”

The three walk in and Drake directs them to the bar. Pulling up bar stools the guys sit on either side of Hana while the bartender asks them what their having. “A whiskey neat for me.” Hana leans over to Maxwell, “What was that inappropriately named drink you mentioned when we played truth or dare?” Maxwell tells the bartender, “We’ll both have a Sex on the Beach.” Hana blushes at the name, but then pipes up, “So how long have you worked here?” The bartender shrugs as he works on their drinks “A little over three months. But don't worry, I know my stuff. Here, one whiskey neat for you sir, one Sex on the beach for you sir, and one for you pretty lady.” He winks as he hands her the drink. Hana takes a polite sip. “Wow, but a good wow. Thank you, uh…” “Sam. The name is Sam.” Just opening the kitchen door a waiter stiffness as he looks to the bar.

——————————

- Daniel’s POV -

Daniel continues out of the kitchen to go take an order. Walking by the bar he notices two olive skinned gentlemen and a small lady with brunette hair. Reaching his booth, he welcomes the customers and takes their drink order. While he answers some questions he hears an accent coming from the bar that he has never heard before. While at the bar giving the table’s drink order he takes a quick glance at the three people. He heads into the kitchen, taking one longer glance before he quickly runs to the back door and immediately gets out his phone. Oh my god. If that's them. No it can't be. But Kris hadn't deleted all her photos when she got the new one. Damn they look so familiar. Well, if anyone should get this lucky it should be Kris. Daniel takes a deep breath and messages Kris.

Daniel’s phone immediately rings. “Kris!” ..… “No I am not shitting you!” ….. “Of course I can tell they are the same people, with the accent, and good looks.” ….. “Yeah, a the third guy has whiskey. Gotta be Drake, right?!” ….. “You can't let them leave!” ….. “No, I won't let you mess this up for yourself, you will see them! They flew half way across the world, obviously they do CARE!”….. “Come on Kris, say something, anything. Listen, how about I get just Hana’s number and she can message you or something.” ….. “Not that excuse again. I am NOT letting them walk out this door, so it's my easy way, or we find Stephen.” ….. “Oh, thank god you’ve come to your senses.” …… “You sure you want me to give her your number? I think it's a great idea, personally. Just ANSWER HER CALL!!!” ….. “Love you too.”

Daniel ends the call and runs back to the bar. Still here. Thank god. “Daniel are you okay there man?” “Perfect, Sam” Daniel’s breath slows. “Ok, now that you can breathe, these really nice people were asking about a girl that use to work here nam-“ Daniel speaks before Sam gets another syllable out. “Kris? Well, I mean Kristina, right?” He sees three sets of eyes go wide. Daniel turns his gaze to the lady. “Hana, right?” “Yes, but how do-“ Maxwell interjects, “You know Kristina? Where is she? How do we find her?” Daniel sees Maxwell's eyes go from disbelief, to shock, to excitement in a good point two seconds. Man, he does have it bad for her. “Calm down Maxwell.” Daniel says to him. Drake laughs, “Good luck. He doesn't have a calm mode.” “So you’ve gotta be Drake.” Drake’s eyes narrow. “How do you know us?” “Look, I don't a lot of time before my asshole manager sees me talking and not working. Kris or I will explain later.” Daniel takes a napkin and writes down Kristina's number sliding it to Hana. “Hana, she wants to talk to YOU. She's waiting for your call.” Daniel leaves, all three slack-jawed.

——————————

- Hana POV -

Drake shakes his head like it will make his brain process faster. “What the hell just happened Hana?” “Ummm, well, it looks like we found Kristina. I should call her, now.” Hana gets off her bar stool, Maxwell right behind her, “Sorry Maxwell, but I better make this call alone. It seems that's what she wants.” Maxwell nods and sits again. Hana takes a booth with her back to the guys, takes a deep excited but slightly nervous breath and dials the number. “Kristina?”

——————————

- Kristina's POV -

Kristina paces with her phone in her shaking hands. This is what she wants, but now that she has the chance, she's scared as hell. She sits on the couch and then stands and paces again. Finally her phone rings, the Caller ID shows an international phone number. This is it. Crap, this is it. Breathe. “…..” “Hi Hana, yep it's me!” …… She has to pull the phone away from her ear so Hana's high pitched squeal doesn't deafen her for life. “I’ve missed you too Hana. I really have. I’ve missed you all. You are you all really here?” …… “You found Tariq?!?!” ….. “My name is cleared? Long story I bet is right.” ….. “Oh my god. It's hard to believe! So, you're still at the bar?” …… “Well. I desperately want to see you too!” ….. “ Really? Daniel would be the only one to even remember me. Ha.” …… “Yeah, he knows all about you guys. Liam, Olivia, the others too. He's been my best friend here for a long time, and now I can't believe my best friend from Cordonia is here!” ….. “I know, I was so nervous talk to you, after I just vanished.” ….. “Yeah we can talk all about that. How long are you here for?” …… “Really! No timeframe? I cannot wait to hug you!” ….. “Yeah so, Drake and Maxwell are with you?” ….. “Of course I’m excited to see Drake!” ….. “Oh, yeah Maxwell. Ummmm that's a little more-“ ….. “Yes, complicated would be a good word.” ….. “He really wants to see me? You're sure?” …… “His only reason for being here? Really?” ….. “Well, yeah I am in disbelief. Confusion too. I’m sure he told you about what happened at the airport that night. Does he want to meet with me because he's still mad at me?” ….. “I get it. You can't say anything, this is between me and him. I’m terrified Hana. Like nauseous terrified.” ….. “Hana, I won't question how you knew I was in love with him. Hindsight is twenty/twenty. You are my best friend. Of course you could see it back then.” …..  “No you're right. I do owe it to him.” ….. “Yes, and myself. Ok, I guess yes, I’ll see him.” ….. “Now? It's getting late.” …… “No I don't have a bed time. Ha. Ha.” ….. “Well, I guess ripping off the bandaid approach is the best.” …… “Oh I believe that Hana!” Kristina laughs. “I get it. He’ll be unbearable for you and Drake until we talk. Will you and Drake at least be there with us at first?” ….. “Thanks. And then we are going to spend time catching up in the next few days? With Drake and Maxwell too. Well, with Maxwell if all goes well tonight” ….. “How about Central Park. We can technically be there until one am.” …..  “Good, we’ll message between us to figure out where to meet up.” ….. “I love you too Hana! I’ll get changed and be on my way.”

Oh my god. Kristina stands at her closet shaking. I guess my life changes, yet again, tonight.

——————————

- Maxwell's POV -

Hana ends the call and skips back to bar, pulling the two into a tight hug. “So, Hana…. is Kristina…” Drake jumps in. “Are we really meeting Hampshire…” Hana jumps up and clapping. “Yes!! All four of us will meet for a short time tonight at Central Park, then…” Maxwell gulps. “Then what Hana?” “Well,…Drake and I leave and you two have the rest of the night to talk.” Maxwell's countenance turns from excitement to amazement. “R..r…really?” “Yes, Maxwell. Then we'll all spend the following days together.” Drake smiles, “And prove to Hampshire why she should come home.” Hana and Drake turn to see Maxwell on his phone already calling a car and heading out of the bar.

—————————— The Night in Central Park ——————————

- Kristina’s POV - Central Park with Maxwell

Kristina throws on a pair of jeans, a blue sleeveless blouse that matches her eyes and heads out the door before she can change her mind. Reaching the park she lets Hana know she's at the Cherry Hill Fountain. She wrings her hands, with her stomach turning from nausea to fluttering and back. After a bit she looks up and sees three faces come into focus. Any nerves are gone in a second as she runs and pulls the three of her fiends into a long group hug.

- Maxwell's POV -  Central Park with Kristina

As the car is close to Central Park Hana hears from Kristina where to meet and pulls up a map of the park on her phone.  They get out of the car and start on their way. This is happening. Oh my god, this is happening, in just a couple minutes. Drake looks over to Maxwell and places a hand on his shoulder. “Don't overthink this. Just….well hell….just be you. For whatever reason that works for you and Hampshire.” Maxwell gets a bit of a spring in his step as he sees a lone figure that's like no other come into view. She looks up and runs to them immediately pulling them all into a hug.

- Kristina's POV - Central Park with Maxwell

Kristina steps backs with tears in her eyes and pulls Hana into another hug, immediately turns to Drake and gives him a hug too. She looks at Maxwell who is in front of her and sees his blue eyes moist with tears. That smile is more handsome than I remember and I’ve missed how it makes me light up. I’ve missed him so, oh god I love him. His infectious smile has her lips pulling up involuntary. She takes a step forward and feels his arms tightly around her. It's heaven. She takes a step forward and he wraps his arms around her.

- Maxwell's POV - Central Park with with Kristina

Maxwell watches Kristina pull back from the group hug. She was always beautiful, I always saw it, but now, she is the most gorgeous and important person to me. I’ve missed that smile, those eyes radiate with kindness and understanding. I can't believe how much I’ve missed her. Oh god, I love her. She takes a step forward him and he wraps his arms around her. I am never letting her go. Ever again.

- Kristina's POV - Central Park with Maxwell

The embrace feels like forever and yet is over too quickly. Her eyes don't leave his as he takes her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. She feels Hana's hand on her back and Drake’s hand lays a hand on her shoulder. “Drake and I will see you tomorrow.” “Yeah Hampshire, we plan on spending a lot of time together.” She gives a nod smiling. “I love you both. See you tomorrow.” Maxwell entwines his fingers with hers as they find a place to sit.

- Maxwell's POV -  Central Park with Kristina

I don't want this hug to end. I smell her Jasmine and Lavender shampoo. Her subtle perfume. She smells like home. He keeps his eyes locked oh hers and takes her hand giving it a gentle squeeze. He sees Hana and Drake say their goodbyes for the night. I won't let go of her hand. It's too soft, too familiar, too…perfect. He entwines his fingers with hers as they find a place to sit.

 - Central Park - Explanations and Declarations

Maxwell breaks the silence first. “Hey little blossom.” She squeezes his hand. “Hey yourself, Max.” In unison, almost as if they had practiced “I’m so sorry.” They both let out little nervous giggles. “Max, I never should have walked away. I-“ “Kristina, I should have never let you go.” “But you couldn't reach me, Max, you were being held back by the guards.” He looks down, “That night, yes. But they're wasn't anyone holding me back from coming to find you.” “I understand why you wouldn't Maxwell. There was no way I could help anymore with the scandal. I brought shame to you and Bertrand.” Kristina can't meet his eyes.

“Hey, now, look at me.” He takes his free hand and tilts her head so their eyes meet again. “You didn't do anything wrong. Drake let us know about that night at Applewood. No one worth anything ever believed it. Hana and Drake successfully found him. He's back in Cordonia with his statement, including Liam's own statement, coming out soon if it hasn't already. Your reputation is all cleared. That is never going to hang it's ugly head over you again. I’m so happy for you. But….I’m still wondering why you couldn't trust me to help you through it. Bertrand and I wanted you back. We and everyone else wanted to help you in clearing your reputation and bring you back to court.” He squeezes her hand tightly while she notices a few tears falling from his eyes. “I just wish you would have trusted me. And, …had stayed with me.”

Kristina places her other hand over their linked hands. “Max, you were and are the one person I trust the most. It wasn't about a lack of trust at all. I know you would have fought with me, fought for me.” Maxwell looks at her in such confusion. “Why then, Kristina? If you trusted me, why not stay. I wanted you to stay. I yelled for you to stay.” Kristina takes a deep breath. “Maxwell, look how long it's taken to find Tariq and get his statement. The scandal wasn't just hanging over me, it was hanging over you too, because of your association with me. While I was there, it would continue to. I couldn't let that happen. I just couldn't hurt you more in anyway. I knew Liam would be fine. He would pick his queen, and all would be well for him. Max, I didn't love Liam. I was never going to be his queen, chosen or not. So,I knew not only was I going to fail you by not being queen, and then I was going to be nothing but another problem for you and Bertrand because of Tariq. I cared,” she takes a shaky breath, “I care about you, Maxwell, too much to do that to you and your reputation.”

Maxwell lets out a bewildered laugh. “What Max?” She couldn't hold any tears back. “Why are you laughing.” He runs the thumb of his free hand across her cheek wiping away tears. “Well, you left so you wouldn't hurt me, and I didn't follow you because I thought I wasn't good enough for you.” Kristina lets out a soft gasp. “What do you mean Maxwell? Why would I ever think that you weren't good enough?” Maxwell looks deep into her eyes. “Because I’m a screwup. There were so many times during the Social Season I messed up. I’d forget to let you know about events, not have you in the right places and more. Heh. I’m sure Bertrand has a list written down somewhere and he could show you every mistake. I figured with all that, and the look you gave me when you,” tears falling down his cheek, “when you turned from me to get on that plane… I figured I messed up yet again. This time, though, it was you Kristina I failed, and you're the only person on earth that I would never want to fail.”

Now Kristina laughs as she shakes her head. Taking her one hand off of their still entwined fingers to brush away his tears. “Max, when I turned and got on that plane it was the most painful thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. I had myself convinced I would hurt you if I stayed, so I decided that I would be the one to shoulder the hurt. I never wanted to leave you.” She sees a tiny glimpse of hope in his eyes. “You really didn't want to leave me Kristina?” She squeezes their linked hands. “Not for a second. Remember when we were on the trail ride at Applewood and I tried to tell you I was falling for someone else.” There is a look of recognition on his face. “Max, I should have made sure I finished what I was telling you. But even then I didn't want to do anything that would damage what I was there to do for you and your house. Pursue Liam. So I didn't force the conversation, and that will be one of the greatest regrets of my life. That day, and everyday since, I have been foolishly making choices for two people. I should have never decided I knew what was best for you.”

Maxwell sits stunned. “Are you saying. Uh, you can't be saying…why would it be? Why would you ever….” “Ever what Maxwell, fall for you? Be so stupid in love with you that I made a horrible life decision for two people? Is that so hard to believe?” Maxwell’s mouth sits open for what felt like forever. “Honestly Kristina? Yes that's so hard for me to believe then, and now.  But it's funny how I did pretty much the same thing.” Kristina's eyebrows knit together in bewilderment. “What on earth are you talking about, Max?” He smiles. “I successfully made myself believe you couldn't ever care for me, that it was a crazy dream which could never come true. And so I buried how I felt about you. I convinced myself that we just would never be, and convinced myself not to follow you. So I locked myself away from anything outside of our estate. Friends and everything. I guess it was my version of your walking onto the plane.”

“Max,” Kristina looks deep into his eyes, “so you didn't think I could care for you, while I thought you hated me.” They look at each other for a long moment then laugh until their tears were no longer from sadness or pain, but of joy. Once able to speak Kristina cups Maxwell's cheek. “Maxwell, are you really saying you care for me?” He looks at her thinking. Do I tell the full truth? What if it ruins this…but if she runs from me is it really any different? At least she knows. Do it now, or it's never. “No Kristina I don't are for you, I love you.” Maxwell takes both her hands and holds them to his chest. Kristina beams. “Maxwell, I love you too. So much.” His eyes grow wide. “Wait, you really mean more than friends right? Or did I missunder-“ Kristina cuts him off with a sweet, soft, tender kiss. “That should answer that.” She puts her arms around his neck.

“Kristina it's just so hard for me to believe. You are amazing. You're incredibly smart, and so kind. You're graceful, and yet bold all at once. You care about everyone before yourself. And you are the most gorgeous woman in the world. There is no one woman who is just as sparkling on the inside as she is on the outside.” He kisses her check. “Maxwell, I’m the most blessed out of the two of us. You are sweet and kind. You are always the first to stop and get someone out of any funk, making them smile. You make sure you leave everyone you meet happier than when you met them. You see people. You see what they need and when they need it. You never give up on anyone. And those big dreams you have, you are always reaching for them, and always reaching hard. You have no clue how that affects and helps those around you.” She smirks. “Do I even have to mention your dancing aptitude and always being the life of the party.” Looking deep into his blue eyes. “Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention your infectious smile and your smoking hot looks. You're my dream, Maxwell Percival Beaumont.”

Maxwell feigns looking around them as if looking for another person. “There has to be another Maxwell Percival Beaumont around here. Because you just described anyone but me.” He grins. “Max, for someone who is so perceptive of others, we really need to work on your perception of yourself.” She laughs. “You think your funny, Kristina?” Maxwell tickles her mercilessly. “I do believe the is the pot is calling the kettle black.” “Ok, ok. I call for mercy. Mercy!” Maxwell stops the tickles and pulls Kristina up on his lap, “So you really love me, little blossom?” He kisses her. “I really love you, my human alarm clock.” She grabs Maxwell by the collar of his shirt pulling him into another kiss. His arms go tightly around her as he deepens the kiss until they pull back breathless. He gives her one more quick kiss and she feels his smile against her lips. “And why are you smiling, Lord Maxwell?” He gives her another quick kiss. I could kiss her forever. “Well Lady Kristina, it’s not everyday the woman you thought was completely unattainable confesses she loves you, and it isn't a misunderstanding or a joke.” She chuckles. “Fair enough. I just hope you realize you're stuck with me as your partner in crime now.” Maxwell rests his forehead against hers whispering, “I can't imagine a more perfect partner ever.” He kisses her forehead. “Maxwell, I love you.” He pulls her into a tight embrace saying into her ear, “I love you. I will never tire of telling you, or hearing you say it.”

It takes effort, but Kristina pulls back and gets out her phone to look at the time. “It's almost one in the morning. Can't be in the park much longer.” Maxwell gives her a sweet kiss on the cheek and helps her stand up from his lap. “So Kristina, what now?” “I guess we go tell Hana and Drake?” He rubs his chin as if deep in thought. “True. But what I meant was what now?” Kristina looks at him quizzically. “What do mean, Maxw-“ Maxwell taps her on the shoulder. “You're it Kristina!” He’s off before Kristina can process what he is doing. She laughs as she runs after him.

Stay tuned for the upcoming epilogue.

[icecubesclinkinginglass-blog]

Season One, Episode One: Pilot - Mole Hunt

"I'm always insistent, Woodhouse. But I'm not to be trusted, am I?" - Archer to Woodhouse

Synopsis: The episode (and the show) starts with what seems to be the titular [snicker] Archer character chained to the wall of some far flung prison, but thanks to Sterling Archer's smartass insults it is quickly revealed to just be a training room at the headquarters of where he happens to work as an agent run by his mother, Malory Archer. And, yes, it was called ISIS, but in the TV show's offense defense, they came up with it first. (But they did later change it, for obvious reasons.) At this point it's unclear as to whether or not Sterling is that good of an agent. (It seems debatable, or it at least varies by episode.)

Like most pilots, the first half is mostly spent establishing the relationships between Archer and everyone else (Cheryl, Pam, Malory, Cyril, and of course Lana), though as is also the case with pilot episodes, they're mere skeletons of the more well-rounded characters they'll eventually become. We learn that Lana and Sterling used to be an item, but now it's Cyril and Lana (much to the surprise of both Archer and Cyril). [Note: I will probably switch between calling him "Archer" and "Sterling" at random. I'm afraid you'll just have to deal.]

Cyril: "I always make Lana stir-fry on Friday." Archer: "Neat. Listen..." Cyril: "Guess what we call it?!" Archer: "Stir-Friday?" Cyril: *pause* "Wow, that's actually better." Archer: "It's all yours."

They also spend a lot of time talking with Sterling about questionable items on his expense account. Not the most riveting subject matter, but it helps establish the mundane bickering that is a common thread throughout every episode of the show, and is also one of the primary sources of humor. This episode is also the first instance of one of Archer's mild obsessions, namely "getting ants." It's also the origin of "Can't, or won't?"

In an effort to hide his expense account indiscretions, Sterling tries to find a way into the mainframe room. To do this, he comes up with an off-the-cuff excuse about a fictional "mole hunt" that he's been "secretly" assigned to. When this doesn't work with anyone, as a last resort he breaks into the Agency headquarters (Note: look, I'm just going to call it the Agency, okay? I'd rather not throw the term 'ISIS' around even in the context of this cartoon, even though I just did, plus it'll just make things easier when they actually change the name a few seasons from now.)

Ironically, when Archer finally does break into the mainframe (using password "Guest"), he soon finds himself at gunpoint by Crenshaw, the guy pretending to be a Russian interrogator at the beginning of the episode, who not only turns out to be an actual Russian named Kremensky, and was the mole, which Archer had thought he'd made up. He and Lana (who showed up after the break-in was reported) were able to take down Kremensky easily, but they were quickly distracted by their own bickering, allowing Kremensky to make his escape. *during an argument* Lana: "You wanna see crazy?!" Archer: "No, I've seen that movie, and spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire!" Lana: "I wish you'd been wearing one!" Archer: "Who would want to wear an on fire suit?!" Lana: "Cosplay enthusiasts!" Archer: "What?" Lana: "Wait, no. Shit!"

Things culminated with a standoff with Kremensky holding a gun to Archer's mom's head while, for reasons unclear to anybody, Archer held his gun to Lana's head, before Kremensky pointed out that he didn't care if Sterling shot Lana. However, when Kremensky's taunting description of Malory Archer lying dead in a gutter and how Sterling's life would be without her caused a... reaction in Sterling, Kremensky's momentary disgust gave Archer the opening he needed to open fire and save the day. And as a thank you, Malory angrily smacked him repeatedly in the head with her purse, to which Archer asked, "Ow! Hey! What's in there, buckles?!"

In the end, it was concluded (wrongly) that Crenshaw/Kremensky must have been the one embezzling all along, and "blaming" Archer by putting it on his expense account. Meanwhile, Malory was confused as to how there could have even been a Russian mole, saying she "would have known," which led to a flashback where it's implied that she'd been having phone sex with an as-of-yet unnamed Russian political leader. I'm sure that's not the last we'll see of him. (And I'm not just saying that because I've seen all these episodes before. Though that definitely helps.)

My Opinion: Since this is my second time through the show, it's interesting to notice how much things have changed over the years while others remained mostly the same. Archer already has his devil-may-care attitude, mood swings and temper in the episode, but he also seems a little more whiny and entitled than I remembered. (Though later episodes may prove me wrong on this.) Also I think they hadn't quite settled on the art style in this episode, though it's incredibly close. I can't remember if that's common throughout season one or just the pilot. I could also just be misremembering how it looked in later seasons.

I was surprised to see how relatively sane and calm Pam was in this first episode. Admittedly the iconic dolphin puppet she used in HR meetings gave hints as to what the future might hold, but honestly I had no idea. And Carol/Cheryl had yet to reveal the extent of her... issues.

This episode does a fairly good job of giving viewers a general idea of the sort of thing they could expect going forward, but watching it again now, I'm glad I didn't base my opinion solely on this one episode, as I'm not sure it was funny enough on its own. Though it did have some great moments that would eventually becoming running gags.

I'm going to give this episode three out of five ice cubes. (See how I worked the Tumblr name into the review? Eh?) It isn't the best episode of Archer by any stretch, but for a first outing it wasn't bad at all. And just to be clear, this "ice cube" rating system exists in a vacuum, meaning I'm not comparing it to other shows. So really, a three ice cube episode is still better than some other random show that you might see get 3 out of 5 stars on Netflix or what have you. I'm considering "3" to be an average Archer episode. In fact, now that we're talking about it, here is the arbitrary score breakdown, subject to change without notice (though I'll probably give notice anyway):

5 cubes = a classic Archer episode, one of the best, in my opinion. No complaints whatsoever. 4 cubes = an above-average episode, with perhaps only a few dull moments or bits I didn't like keeping it from 5 cubes. 3 cubes = your average Archer episode. Worth watching, but not super memorable or particularly crammed full of comedy. 2 cubes = a weaker episode of Archer. I still enjoy watching it, but I would probably never choose it over something else. 1 cube = a really bad episode of Archer. I don't know if there was a writer's strike or if they just were having an off day, or what. Still better than some other TV shows I've sat through.

Q: Why ice cubes? A: Because, every episode has ice cubes in it, or at least the sound of ice cubes clinking in a glass. Or so the legend goes. I may even decide to point out the moment in future episodes, though I promise nothing.

Next time: Archer takes Cyril under his wing, and Chekov’s Gun gets a twist!

[moviessilently]

No actual vampirism is involved in this serial, it’s about a criminal gang called the Vampires and their attempts to… well, I’m not really sure what. Kill people and break things, I guess. We also follow the efforts of a heroic reporter to bring these ne’er-do-wells to justice or something.

Home Media Availability: Released on DVD and Bluray.

Toxic Relationships

Before I begin, a hearty thanks to the late David Shepard for helping me research this review. It is dedicated to his memory.

Most classic movie fans are familiar with the cliffhanger serials of the 1930s-1950s and even the most casual film buff knows about The Perils of Pauline, often cited as the quintessential silent serial (but it’s not actually very good). However, America was never the only game in town when it came to serialized entertainment. The French are no slouches in the serial department and the most famous French director of these entertainments is Louis Feuillade.

Stylish villainy, here we come!

Readers of the site may recall that I am a huge fan of Judex, Feuillade’s 1916 caped crusader series. It’s one of my top five silent films of all time, in fact. After watching Judex, I decided to watch Les Vampires, Feuillade’s far more famous serial of 1915. It shares a significant number of cast members from Judex and boasts an anarchic plot with zaniness to spare.

I guess this is a bit of a spoiler but my reaction to Les Vampires thirteen years ago was a resounding “meh.” I liked parts of it but I was simply unimpressed. So now we’re going to see if over a decade of silent movie experience has changed my mind about the serial.

But in a shocking twist, our hero has a comedy sidekick!

First, a quick word about the story: I won’t be covering every plot twist and turn because a) the serial is over 400 minutes long and b) Feuillade and co. kind of made everything up as they went along. There’s no real central story except for the idea of a criminal gang called the Vampires and a reporter’s attempts to bring them to justice. The two sides are locked in a battle of wits and it’s all fun and games until they haul out the poison. Both sides engage in multiple kidnappings, plus a spot of murder and the body count is pretty high.

I never joke about silk long johns.

Philippe Guérande (Edouard Mathé) is a reporter with one goal in life: to bring down a criminal gang known as the Vampires, a band of powerful criminals who rob, murder and manipulate with impunity whilst wearing black silk long johns. They are led by the Grand Vampire (Jean Aymé) and his most trusted operative, Irma Vep (Musidora). Philippe, meanwhile, is assisted by Mazamette (Marcel Lévesque), a silly little fellow with certain useful skills and a connection to the Vampires.

Our first look at Irma Vep.

The first episode is not very promising with its slow pace and interminable shots of the Grand Vampire walking across rooftops but things quickly pick up with the introduction of Irma. Musidora (BFF of author Collette) is a natural on the screen and makes an immediate impression as the vicious Miss Vep. She hisses and spits through an introductory musical number. (Are you sure this is a silent film?) Feuillade clearly thought he had something special as well, he takes the time to show a poster advertising Irma’s stage show rearranging itself to spell VAMPIRE.

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Musidora follows through on this promise with a reign of terror; burglary, kidnappings and other nefarious deeds. And, of course, she does it while stylishly clad in Vampire gear, as well as assorted posh frocks, maid uniforms and even in the garb of a young viscount.

Everyone talks about Musidora and that’s great but can we take a minute to discuss Philippe’s awesome mother? Feuillade did seem to love his powerful mothers and it’s a refreshing change from modern Hollywood, believe you me. Delphine Renot is marvelous as a woman who dotes on her son but also is perfectly capable of stabbing her kidnapper with a poisoned pen nub in order to escape. Go, mom, go!

After poisoning a henchman, Philippe’s mom went to her PTA meeting.

Alas, Edouard Mathé is not a terribly compelling hero (he was demoted to tweedy brother of the titular hero in Judex) and as we spend most of our screen time with him, it’s a bit of a problem. The fact that his romantic interests are reduced to living plot devices does not help matters. Marcel Lévesque, on the other hand, is a droll figure as comedy sidekick Mazamette and the character becomes even more amusing with the introduction of child actor Bout-de-Zan as his young son. (You may recall that Bout-de-Zan played the Licorice Kid in Judex.)

Me? Spy for the Vampires? The very idea! … Oh, all right. Do you have any idea how expensive boarding school is?

Another major misstep in the serial is the introduction of Moreno (Fernand Herrmann). It starts promisingly enough with Moreno and his criminal gang starting a turf war with the Vampires but soon becomes unbalanced when the screenwriters decide to make this new villain a master hypnotist. It simply makes him too powerful and removes considerable suspense from the resulting picture, at least in my opinion. This strange new power was likely due to some personnel problems that we will discuss in the next paragraph.

She became his total slave but on the plus side, she never smoked another cigarette either.

To say that Les Vampires is chaotic is an understatement. In fact, its anarchic plotting and anything-goes madness are major contributors to its overall appeal. Some of the chaos was due to Feuillade’s drill sergeant manner on the set, which seems like an oxymoron but isn’t. For example, the rotating leader of the Vampires developed because the actor playing the original Grande Vampire, Jean Aymé, was habitually late and Feuillade responded by firing him. (Don’t worry, Aymé’s career lasted another three-and-a-half decades. No word as to whether he became more punctual.) SPOILER: The Grand Vampire neatly murdered by a hypnotized Irma Vep, Feuillade was free to open a revolving door and let in Satanas and Venomous. (One wonders why the Vampires did not simply promote Irma. Oh well.)

Irma and the Grand Vampire posing as father and son. Take it away, amateur shrinks!

Other bits of chaos were due to the war and film shortages. At certain points, Feuillade spliced in scenes from an entirely different movie to complete an episode. “Let me read you a story about my ancestors, complete with flashbacks!” Um, okay.

Every crime serial needs a few scenes from the Napoleonic Wars.

I’m going to be honest here: I found Les Vampires to be a bit of a letdown after the more structured madness of Judex thirteen years ago and I feel the same way now. While I have rewatched Judex numerous times over the years, I have only dusted off Les Vampires once and it was for this review. While anarchy and madness and murder are all very fun in a serial, there’s only so much of it you can take. Les Vampires has a slow start, which further increases the difficulty for first-time viewers. I know some people just adore this serial and that for them, the anarchic tone and wild plotting are a feature, not a bug, which is why I’m not really going for a deep takedown of the series. That would be like watching a Garbo/Gilbert romance and complaining about overblown love scenes or going to a Star Wars movie and complaining about all that Jedi stuff.

Come for the title, stay for the severed heads.

My advice? If you don’t like Judex, try Les Vampires. If you don’t like Les Vampires, try Judex. If neither suits you, try Fantômas, Feuillade’s other famous serial. If you like all three, good for you! There seems to be a Feuillade series for everyone so do give them a try. I’m sure you will find something to delight you.

Where can I see it?

Les Vampires is available on DVD and Bluray from Kino Lorber and features a score from the Mont Alto Motion Picture Orchestra.

I was corresponding with David Shepard in preparation for this review before he passed away. He produced the original English home video release of Les Vampires and while it is now out of print, he asked me especially to mention Robert Israel’s fine orchestral score. It really is wonderful and you can still get a used copy of the Image release that includes it.

***

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Les Vampires (1915) A Silent Film Review No actual vampirism is involved in this serial, it’s about a criminal gang called the Vampires and their attempts to… well, I’m not really sure what.

[newstanmarshblog]

The Average and Unusual Couple: Chapter Nine

   Following from his first ever visit to the Netherworld, Stan had made a couple more visits over there. He got to meet Doomie and went a ride with him, had an eye cream with Lydia at the Eye Cream Shop, and even went to a Football game with Beetlejuice where they watched the Netherworld Eyeballs beating the Gluttony Boars 69-33. Visiting the Netherworld is such a frill for Stan. Not only did he get to make some new friends there, but each visit is like having an adventure for him. There’s never a dull thing about the Netherworld, and Stan is enjoying every moment of it. And as Stan’s birthday approaches, Lydia and Beetlejuice had decided to enrage a special birthday trip for him to Extinction National Park. They haven’t told him about it yet as they want to make it as a surprise birthday gift for him.

   It was now October ninetieth, and at the Marsh’s house, Stan’s birthday party was all set up. Snacks and drinks were placed at the living room area, Sharon had recently ordered a huge pizza delivery, and Randy for the time being took all of his personal weed out of the house and put them into his barn building. Stan meanwhile was at his bedroom texting to his friends. Kyle texts to him in saying that he, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters should be at his house in any minute, while also receiving a text from Lydia that she and Wendy had just arrived. He then heads downstairs.

   Stan: Lydia and Wendy are here, mom.

   Sharon: Okay, sweetie. What about your other friends?

   Stan: Kyle gave me a text in that they’ll be here pretty soon. Where’s Shelly and dad?

   Sharon: Shelly went out to get your birthday cake, and your dad still haven’t come back in the house yet. *sigh* He better not be smoking in that barn. I’ll get him while you greet your friends.

   Stan: Okay.

   As Sharon leaves to get Randy, Stan walks over to the front door to greet Lydia and Wendy.

   Stan smiling: Hello, you two.

   Lydia:  Hi, Stan. Are we the first ones here?

   Stan: Yep, but the rest of my guests are gonna be here soon. Come on in.

   Lydia and Wendy walk into the house as they see the snack table set next to between the TV and the fireplace.

   Wendy: Are your parents here?

   Stan: My mom went to get my dad at our barn next door. He must be doing his weed habits once again. So, sorry if he smells like marijuana once he comes in.

   Lydia: Does he like smoke everyday?

   Stan: I’m afraid so. He smokes at least one marijuana cigarette per day, but there are some days in which he’ll smoke his stupid weed more than once. But anyway, would you two like any snacks or drinks?

   Lydia: I’ll like some water.

   Wendy: Me too.

   Stan: Okay, then.

   Stan heads over to the snack table and pours some water and ice into two plastic cups.

   Wendy: And where would you like for us to place your birthday presents at?

   Stan: Next to the wooden bear.

   Lydia and Wendy set their bagged gifts next the small wooden bear.

   Stan: Here’s your drinks. *gives Lydia and Wendy their water*

   Meanwhile at the kitchen, Sharon and Randy both come on from the back door.

   Sharon: Now promise me that you won’t talk about Tegridy Farms in front of Stan’s friends. It’s his birthday today, and I want this party to go as nicely as possible.

   Randy: I won’t talk about the adult stuff, but I do need to give his friends at least my business card in order to have them promote my weed to their parents.

   Sharon furious: RANDY!

   Randy: Oh, come on! I have to keep Tegridy Farms afloat everyday!

   Sharon: Can you just for once forget about your business, and be a good father to your family? If you do this, I promise to help you in getting more of your Tegridy t-shirts that you recently run out.

   Randy: *long sigh* Okay, fine.

   Sharon: Good. Now let’s go.

   They both head over to the living room where Stan, Lydia, and Wendy were still at.

   Stan: Hi, mom. Hi, dad.

   Randy: Hey, son. *turns his attention to the girls* Nice to see you again, Wendy. And what’s your name, young lady?

   Lydia: I’m Lydia. Me and my family recently moved here from Peaceful Pines Connecticut.

   Randy: Oh, Stan has mentioned your name here a lot lately. You two became friends pretty quickly I imagined?

   Lydia: Yep. He became my friend during our first day at school.

   Randy: That’s great. Has Stan told you about our family business?

   Sharon uses her elbow to hit Randy’s arm as a reminder to not talk about Tegridy Farms with Stan’s friends.

   Randy: I mean, has Stan told you much about South Park?

   Lydia: He sure did. He even toured me throughout the entire town last month.

   Randy: Wonderful! I hope you enjoy living in South Park better than I could ever have with it.

   Lydia: Thank you, Mr. Marsh.

   The doorbell rings, and Stan heads over to the front door. As he opens it, he sees Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Butters all standing at the entrance.

   Butters: Happy birthday, Stan!

   Stan: Hey, guys. *sees the big gift bag that Kyle is carrying, and smiles* You all must have brought something special for me.

   Kyle: We’ll all excited to see your reaction to our gifts for you, dude.

   Stan: Well, I’ll be opening my presents after the birthday cake. For the time being, just put the bag next to the other gifts.

   Stan’s friends come into the house as Kyle places the big gift bag next to the smaller gift bags.

   Sharon: Hello, boys. Pizza delivery should be here in about an hour. So enjoy the snack table right beside me in case if any of you are hungry.

   Cartman: I sure can use those cheesy poofs right about now.

   Kyle: Just try to be more careful with your jaw bone this time. You don’t wanna go through eating more canned food again, do you?

   Cartman: Yeah, yeah, I get the message, Khal. Don’t freaking remind me.

   As Cartman heads over to the snack table, Sharon and Randy leave the area while everyone else start chatting with one another.

   Kenny: So Lydia, have you starting to feel right at home in South Park lately?

   Lydia: I’ve been feeling that way ever since Stan showed me much of the town. Living in South Park honestly feels more exciting to be at than at Peaceful Pines because of how people like you guys make it so worth living at.

   Kyle: What was it like to live at Peaceful Pines?

   Lydia: It’s a much more peaceful town in comparison to South Park, but it really doesn’t offer to many exciting things if you ever go up there as a tourist. The trail park over there is pretty small, it’s mall isn’t nearly as big as South Park’s mall, and we had no local movie theater.

   Kenny: Damn, no movie theater in your area? That must’ve suck pretty hard.

   Lydia: Whenever I wanted to see a new movie on the big screen, one of my parents would take me to a movie theater close to Wethersfield as it was the closest one to my old house. It takes about a forty-five mixture drive to get there.

   Wendy: Well, at South Park, we all just walk over to our local theater instead. You don’t need to worry about any driving to see a movie anymore. You’re gonna love the experience.

   Stan: Any upcoming movie that you’re excited to see?

   Lydia: I’m very interested in seeing that new Ghostbusters movie. It has the right type of material that I’m really into.

   Stan: We’ll definitely make a plan on all of us in seeing that movie together when it comes out. 

   Lydia: Sounds great! The bigger our group, the more fun the movie experience will be for all of us.

   Cartman: I’ll only join in if the new Ghostbusters movie doesn’t get any bad reviews.

   Kyle: Don’t mind him, he’s usually a nasty critic whenever it comes to big movie franchise.

   Butters: Yeah, you’ve seen how he ranted about the new Star Wars movies. He couldn’t stop talk negatively about them for about a month.

   Lydia: I’m thankful that I’m not into Star Wars as much as with most people.

   Cartman: What?! You’re not into Star Wars?!

   Lydia: Don’t me wrong, I’ve watched the original trilogy when I was pretty young and find them great films. But when it comes to my favorite type of movie genre, I’m more a horror type of a person. I like classical horror films, supernatural films, monster films, and horror comedy films. I even enjoy watching dinosaur movies just as much as Stan here.

   Cartman: Great, we have a gothic hippie that loves boring dinosaurs just as much as her hippie boyfriend.

   Stan: Shut up, Cartman! How about we just move on to a different topic instead and not be negative about it.

   Lydia: Thanks, Stan.

   Cartman: Pfft, whatever.

   About over an hour later, Shelly returned home with the birthday cake followed by the pizza man delivering tonight’s dinner. After everyone had their pizza and slice from the birthday cake, it was now time for Stan to open up his birthday presents.

   Sharon: Which present do you want to open up first, Stan?

   Stan: Hmmm, I’ll start off with the smallest gifts first, and then will work my way up to the biggest for last.

  Sharon: Good choice.

   He first opens up the gift from Shelly. It’s a custom made funko pop of John Elway.

   Stan: Wow, Shelly! You made this?

   Shelly: Yeah. I figured since you already had the pop figures of Peyton Manning and Von Miller, I thought that you needed to have John Elway too even though funko hasn’t made him into a pop yet. So, I decided to that job myself just for you.

   Stan: Thanks, Shelly. I can’t wait to display him with my other Bronco pops.

   Next he opens the gift from Randy. It was a $25 gift card to Apple Music, and a t-shirt that saids “I’m a proud Tegridy Farms son!”

   Stan annoyed: Really, dad?

   Randy: What? I thought that you needed some more Tegridy spirt in you.

   Stan: *sigh* Thanks for the gift card at least.

   Sharon upset: *whispers to Randy* We’ll discuss about this after the party, asshole!

   Stan now opens the gift from Wendy. It was a field guide book on every animal specie found in the U.S.

   Wendy: I know that you know much about the animals that live around in South Park, but I thought this book can be pretty usual to you in case if you can’t identified a specie that you don’t know about.

   Stan: Thanks, Wendy. I’ll be sure to use this whenever I’m on a nature walk.

   Next up was the gift that Stan was secretly most excited to open next, it was from Lydia. It was a necklace with a T. Rex skull on it, and a framed picture of Lydia with Sue the T. Rex that was taken from the Field Museum.

   Stan smiling: You chose my favorite dinosaur as a themed gift, huh?

   Lydia smiling: That’s right. Since much of our conversations has been about prehistoric stuff and you mentioning that T. Rex is your favorite dinosaur, I decided to go with these as my first ever gifts to you.

   Stan: Well, I normally don’t wear any necklaces, but I’ll definitely be wearing this for sure. And I love the picture too. It seriously puts a smile in my face. Thank you very much.

   Lydia: I’m very happy to hear that, Stan. Enjoy them!

   The next gift he opens up are from his friends. A $25 Visa gift card from Cartman, a custom Crimson Dawn t-shirt from Kenny and Butters, and a Marvel Villainous board game from Kyle.

   Cartman: Sorry for not finding anything super cool, so that gift card was the best that I can do.

   Stan: It’s okay, Cartman. I’m sure I’ll find something awesome to purchase with. Thank you.

   Kenny: How do you like the t-shirt?

   Stan: It’s pretty badass, and brings back memories when we did the band together. I like it a lot.

   Kyle: And how about the board game? I knew that you enjoyed playing those Disney Villainous board games, and this game plays pretty similar to them.

   Stan: I’ve been meaning to get this board game for a while now, but never had the chance to do it. Thanks, dude. I can’t wait to give this game a try.

   And the final gift that Stan opens up was from his mother, and it was huge. A Sony Playstation 5.

   Stan super excited: HOLY SH—*closes his mouth quickly to prevent himself from saying shit in front of his mother*—Sorry. But wow, mom! I can’t believe that you actually bought this!

   Sharon: I know very well on how much the pandemic has caused you mentally, and it hurt me in seeing you that way during those terrible times. So, I’ve been saving extra money from my cash earnings for the past six months, and I was able to buy the very last one from our local GameStop last week. I hope this gift will help you heal the mental wounds that the pandemic caused you.

   Stan smiling: This is by far the greatest gift that you’ve ever given to me. I just wish there can be someway to pay you back for this.

   Sharon smiling: A Thank you and a hug should be enough.

   Stan: *chuckles a bit* Thank you.

   He gives his mother a sweet hug as everyone else smiles. Lydia felt a warmth pound from her heart by seeing Stan hugging his mother.

   Lydia in her thought: That has to be the most sweetest hug that I’ve ever seen. Stan has such a wonderful mother.

   Later on, as much of Stan’s friends had left the party, Stan and Lydia have one more quick conversation with each other.

   Lydia: I really love your mother, Stan. She’s literally the best parent that anyone can ask for. It’s no wonder where you get your good heart from.

   Stan: She’s one of very few people in this world that I truly love deeply within my heart. In fact, her honestly and kindness is what keeps me from every becoming fully depressed. And it’s mainly because of her is what makes living in this farm at least a little tolerable. What about your mom? 

   Lydia: My mother loves me just like with any good parent, and she was the one that got me started for my love of photography when she bought me my first ever camera when I was six, although she’s not perfect. My mother in comparison doesn’t often help me with my problems whenever I’m in one as she’s too often busy with her art stuff. We don’t see eye to eye with a lot of things in life, and she only gives me strong compliments from my art and photographic skills. My father was much more caring about my feelings in comparison. Before I ever met BJ, he was the only person that helped me carry on with life despite on how busy he was from his old job.

   Stan: I see. My dad used to be a caring parent too despite some of his past stupid habits. Like one time when me and my friends formed a boy band, he strictly prohibited  me in becoming one because he didn’t want me to go through the bad things in being a boy band like how he experience it when he was his own boy band. He later realized that he should’ve been more honest on stopping me in starting a boy band without explaining why as he wasn’t like that at first when I told him about it. And he told me that I have to make my own mistakes and learn from it whenever it happens to me. But nowadays, he’s not the same dad that I was once loved. Ever since he started Tegridy Farms, it was like if a different soul possessed him, and that soul continues on making him an egocentric asshole to these very day.

   Lydia: Sounds like we have similar parent issue.

   Stan: Yeah, although there’s a lot of other people like us that face similar parent issue.

   Lydia: That’s true.

   They both see a car driving up towards the house. It was Wendy’s mother.

   Stan: Hey, Wendy. Your mother is here to pick you and Lydia up.

   Wendy: Okay. Thanks for the party, Stan. I really had a great time, and the cake was delicious.

   Stan: Thank you. And I’ll tell you whenever I use the book in one of my future nature walks. See you at school.

   Wendy: You too, and happy birthday!

   As Wendy heads over to her mother’s car, Lydia had one more quick thing to say to Stan.

   Lydia: By the way, there’s one more birthday gift that I have left to give you.

   Stan: What is it?

   Lydia: There’s a secret message inside the framed picture that I gave you. Read it alone. See you soon. *smiles at Stan*

   Stan: Bye.

   Shortly after Lydia and Wendy leave off, Stan heads back into the house and picks up the picture frame of Lydia and Sue the T. Rex. He heads upstairs, and goes into his bedroom. Once he was all alone, he opens up the picture frame from the back, and sees a sticky note on the the back of the picture. The note reads: “Meet me & Beetlejuice at the Netherworld by 9:30 pm.”

   Stan: Hmm, what kind of a gift have they gotten for me? But whatever it is, I’m glad that the wait is at least not too long.

   It was past 8:00, and he only had to wait less then ninety minutes to find out what birthday gift that Beetlejuice and Lydia have gotten for him.

   In the next chapter, Beetlejuice and Lydia takes Stan to Extinction National Park.

[thedanceprof]

Taking “Baby Steps” like Bob Wiley

     There’s an old ‘90s movie starring Bill Murray (Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day) called What About Bob? It’s classic Bill Murray doing his usual eccentric comedy shtick, and in this film he’s a lovable yet eccentric Bob Wiley who is confined by his ever-growing list of phobias. He’s pawned off from one psychiatrist to another to become the patient of an egotistical psychiatrist, Dr. Leo Marvin, played by Richard Dreyfuss (Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Mr. Holland’s Opus), who prescribes him shamelessly solicits him his latest novel Baby Steps so he can be rid of Bob and leave on a vacation with his family for some peace and quiet--or so he thinks.  

     Meanwhile Bob takes the novel’s advice with zeal and begins taking baby steps by literally shuffling his feet two inches at a time to do a variety of tasks that help him confront his fears--like using an elevator...and sailing! (Such a classic scene: “I’m SAILING!...I can SAIL!”)  If you’re into Bill Murray and classic ‘90s comedies, then I recommend you watch the film. Richard Dreyfuss also plays a foil perfectly against Bill Murray’s comedic shenanigans; however I digress. 

     My real purpose here is to point out a life lesson that this film reminds me of whenever it comes to mind: 

     How often are we confined by our fears? 

     There are many reasons we may think of to hold us back from overcoming fear and doing whatever it is we want to do, and in some cases perhaps from doing what we should do.

     I have more introverted qualities than extraverted.  I want to make a disclaimer that I don’t believe being introverted is inherently bad.  Even though my opinion is biased because I’m more of an “innie” than an “outie”, I don’t believe that being a listener, cautious, reflective, and seeking small group settings are bad attitudes to have.

    For me, though being afraid of “putting myself out there” for fear failure or of what others may think has been a struggle since childhood.  However, I am a dancer and a college professor, so obviously I’ve been improving since the days when I would run and hide behind my mom’s leg whenever someone wanted to talk to me.  I’ve performed in front of audiences all over the world, I get up in front of a class to teach them every day, and now I’m wanting to become a YouTube creator where potentially millions of people could become my audience.

     It can be daunting to think about, and Bob Wiley’s way of conquering his fears is where I draw the connection between the film and real life. In most cases we probably aren’t going to conquer our fears in one day, but each baby step forward will eventually become leaps and bounds toward accomplishing our goals.

     If we want to move forward to do big things, then we can start now by making small manageable goals.

    So be like Bob: “Baby steps out of the office, baby steps through the hall, and baby steps to the elevator...”

[flashhdtv]

Private Lives Episode 1–2020 (K.DRAMA) on JTBC

Private Lives Episode 1

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In a world where data is no longer private, con artists uncover a sinister surveillance scheme headed by the government and a greedy corporation.

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Title : Private Lives First Air Date : Oct 07, 2020 Last Air Date : Jan 01, 1970 Number of Episodes : 2 Number of Seasons : 1 Genres : Crime, Action & Adventure Networks : JTBC

Private Lives

A con artist who unintentionally gets involved in private matters on a national scale and competes against massive corporations.

Lee Jung Hwan is a team leader for the major corporation. He looks like an ordinary company employee, but he is a mysterious figure. Meanwhile, Cha Joo Eun is a swindler, who has the looks of a sweet & innocent woman. She supports herself with her crimes.

Show Info

Network: Korea, Republic of jTBC (2020 — now) Schedule: Wednesdays, Thursdays at 21:30 (90 min) Status: In Development; premiering October 2020 Language: Korean Show Type: Scripted Genres: Drama Crime Romance Episodes ordered: 16 episodes

With dozens of films genre being released each year, a typical one that gets overlooked by the more popular ones (action, drama, comedy, animation, etc.) is the subgenre category of religious movie. These films (sometimes called “faith-based” features) usually center around the struggles and ideas of a person (or groups) identity of a religious faith, which is, more or less, has a profound event or obstacle to overcome. While not entirely, the most commonplace religious type movies focus on the religion of Christianity, sometimes venturing back into the past in cinematic retelling classic biblical tales, including famed epic films like Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur (the original 1959 version) to some more modern endeavors from Hollywood like Risen, The Young Messiah, and Paul, Apostle of Christ. Other Christian “faith” films finds a more contemporary setting to tell its story, with some being “based on a true-life account” like the movies Unconditional, Heaven is Real, Unbroken, I Can Only Imagine, Indivisible, and Miracles from Heaven, while others might find inspiration from literary novels / fictionalized narratives like The Shack, Overcomer, War Room, and Same Kind of Different as Me. Regardless, whether finding inspiration from true life, references from the bible, or originality, these movies usually speaks on a person’s faith and the inner struggle he or she has within or one society’s views, spreading a message of belief and the understand of one’s belief. Now, after the success of 2018’s I Can Only Imagine, directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) and Lionsgate studios release the 2020 faith-based film / music biopic feature I Still Believe. Does the film walk a fine line between its religious aspects and cinematic entertainment or does the movie get entangled in its own faith-based preaching?

THE STORY

Its 1999 and Jeremy Camp (K.J. Apa) is a young and aspiring musician who would like nothing more than to honor his God through the power of music. Leaving his Indiana home for the warmer climate of California and a college education, Jeremy soon comes across one Melissa Henning (Britt Robertson), a fellow college student that he takes notices in the audience at a local concert. Falling for cupid’s arrow immediately, he introduces himself to her and quickly discovers that she is attracted to him too. However, Melissa holds back from forming a budding relationship as she fears it will create an awkward situation between Jeremy and their mutual friend, Jean-Luc (Nathan Parson), a fellow musician and who also has feeling for Melissa. Still, Jeremy is relentless in his pursuit of her until they eventually find themselves in a loving dating relationship. However, their youthful courtship with each other comes to a halt when life-threating news of Melissa having cancer takes center stage. The diagnosis does nothing to deter Jeremey’s love for her and the couple eventually marries shortly thereafter. Howsoever, they soon find themselves walking a fine line between a life together and suffering by her illness; with Jeremy questioning his faith in music, himself, and with God himself.

THE GOOD / THE BAD

Sorry if this sounds a bit familiar pieces from my review of I Can Only Imagine, but it definitely says what I feel about these films. While I am a devout Christian (not a crazy zealot or anything like that) for my bases of religion and my outlook beliefs in life, I’m not a huge fan of the “faith-based” feature films. That’s not to say that they’re bad or that I find them deplorable to the other more popular movie genres out there, but sometimes they can a bit preachy and corny / honky in their religious overtones and overall dramatic direction. Personally, I like the more biblical tales that Hollywood as put over, with Cecil B. Demile’s The Ten Commandments and William Wyler’s Ben-Hur; both of have proven to stand the test of time within filmmaking. Of course, Hollywood’s recent trend of put out more “remakes” movies puts an overcast on those biblical epics with 2014’s Exodus: Gods and Kings and 2016’s Ben-Hur; both of which failed to capture a sense of cinematic integrity and had a messy religious outlook in its zeal aspect. Of late, however, Hollywood as retreated more into contemporary pieces, finding narratives that are, more or less, set in a more “modern” day and age to their Christian-faithful based features. As I mentioned above, some have found success in their literary forms (being based on a book and adapted to the big screen), but most derive their inspiration from true life accounts, translating into something that’s meant to strike a chord (with moviegoers) due to its “based on a true story” aspect and nuances. Again, some are good (as I liked Unbroken and The Shack), while others kind of become a bit too preachy and let the religious overtures hamper the film, making them less-than desirable to mainstream audiences or even members of their own faiths. Thus, these religious-esque films can sometimes be problematic in their final presentation for both its viewers and in the film itself; sometimes making the movie feel like a TV channel movie rather than a theatrical feature film. This brings me around to talking about I Still Believe, a 2020 motion picture release of the Christian religious faith-based genre. As almost customary, Hollywood usually puts out two (maybe three) films of this variety movies within their yearly theatrical release lineup, with the releases usually being around spring time and / or fall respectfully. I didn’t hear much when this movie was first announced (probably got buried underneath all the popular movies news on the newsfeed). My first actual glimpse of the movie was when the film’s movie trailer was released, which looked somewhat interesting to me. Yes, it looked the movie was gonna be the typical “faith-based” vibe, but it was going to be directed by the Erwin Brothers, who directed I Can Only Imagine (a film that I did like). Plus, the trailer for I Still Believe premiered for quite some time, so I kept on seeing it a lot of time when I went to my local movie theater. You can kind of say that it was a bit “engrained in my brain”. Thus, I was a bit keen on seeing it. Fortunately, I was able to see it before the COVID-19 outbreak closed the movie theaters down (saw it during its opening night), but, due to work scheduling, I haven’t had the time to do my review for it…. until now. And what did I think of it? Well, it was pretty “meh”. While its heart is definitely in the right place and quite sincere, I Still Believe is a bit too preachy and unbalanced within its narrative execution and character developments. The religious message is clearly there, but takes too many detours and not focusing on certain aspects that weigh the feature’s presentation. As mentioned, I Still Believe is directed by the Erwin Brothers (Andrew and Jon), whose previous directorial works include such films like Moms’ Night Out, Woodlawn, and I Can Only Imagine. Given their affinity attraction religious based Christian movies, the Erwin Brothers seem like a suitable choice in bringing Jeremy Camp’s story to a cinematic representation; approaching the material with a certain type of gentleness and sincerity to the proceedings. Much like I Can Only Imagine, the Erwin Brothers shape the feature around the life of a popular Christian singer; presenting his humble beginnings and all the trials and tribulations that he must face along the way, while musical songs / performance taking importance into account of the film’s narrative story progression. That’s not to say that the movie isn’t without its heavier moments, with the Erwin, who (again) are familiar with religious overtones themes in their endeavors, frame I Still Believe compelling messages of love, loss, and redemption, which (as always) are quite fundamental to watch and experience through tragedy. This even speaks to the film’s script, which was penned by Erwin brothers playing double duty on the project, that has plenty of heartfelt dramatic moments that will certainly tug on the heartstrings of some viewers out there as well as provide to be quite an engaging tale of going through tragedy and hardship and finding a redemption arc to get out of it. This is especially made abundantly clear when dealing with a fatal illness that’s similar to what Melissa undergoes in the film, which is quite universal and reflective in everyone’s world, with the Erwin Brothers painting the painful journey that Melissa takes along with Jeremy by her side, who must learn to cope with pain of a loved one. There is a “double edge” sword to the film’s script, but I’ll mention that below. Suffice to say, the movie settles quickly into the familiar pattern of a religious faith-based feature that, while not exactly polished or original, can be quite the “comfort food” to some; projecting a wholesome message of faith, hope, and love. Personally, I didn’t know of Jeremy Camp and the story of he and Melissa Henning, so it was quite a poignant journey that was invested unfolding throughout the film’s proceedings. As a side-note, the movie is a bit a “tear jerker”, so for those who prone to crying during these dramatic heartfelt movies….get your tissues out. In terms of presentation, I Still Believe meets the industry standard of a religious faith-based motion pictures. Of course, theatrical endeavors like these don’t really have big budged production money to invest in the film’s creation. Thus, filmmakers have to spend their money wisely in bringing their cinematic tales to life on the silver screen. To that effect, the Erwin Brothers smartly utilized this knowledge in the movie’s creation; budgeting the various aspects of the background and genetic theatrical make-up that feel appropriate and genuine in the film’s narrative. So, all the various “behind the scenes” team / areas that I usually mention (i.e. production designs, set decorations, costumes, and cinematography, etc.) are all relatively good as I really don’t have much to complain (whether good or bad) about them. Again, they meet the industry standard for a faith-based movie. Additionally, the musical song parts are pretty good as well. As mentioned, I really didn’t know anything about Jeremy Camp, so I couldn’t say what songs of his were good, but the songs that are presented in the film were pretty decent enough to certain highlight points throughout the movie. Though they are somewhat short (assuming not the whole song is being played), but still effectively good and nice to listen to. Might have to check out a few of the real songs one day. Lastly, the film’s score, which was done by John Debney, fits perfect with this movie; projecting the right amount of heartfelt tenderness in some scenes and inspirational melodies of enlightenment in others. Unfortunately, not all is found to be pure and religiously cinematic in the movie as I Still Believe gets weighed down with several major points of criticism and execution in the feature. How so? For starters, the movie feels a bit incomplete in Jeremy Camp’s journey. What’s presented works (somewhat), but it doesn’t hold up, especially because the Erwin Brothers have a difficult time in nailing down the right narrative path for the film to take. Of course, the thread of Jeremy and Melissa are the main central focus (and justly so), but pretty much everything else gets completely pushed aside, including Jeremy’s musical career rise to stardom and many of the various characters and their importance (more on that below). This also causes the film to have a certain pacing issues throughout the movie, with I Still Believe runtime of 116 minutes (one hour and fifty-six minutes) feeling longer than it should be, especially with how much narrative that the Erwin Brothers skip out on (i.e. several plot chunks / fragments are left unanswered or missing). Additionally, even if a viewer doesn’t know of Jeremy Camp’s story, I Still Believe does, for better or worse, follow a fairly predictable path that’s quite customary for faith-based movie. Without even reading anything about the real lives of Jeremy and Melissa prior to seeing the feature, it’s quite clearly as to where the story is heading and what will ultimately play out (i.e. plot beats and theatrical narrative act progression). Basically, if you’ve seeing one or two Christian faith-based film, you’ll know what to expect from I Still Believe. Thus, the Erwin Brothers don’t really try to creatively do something different with the film…. instead they reinforce the idealisms of Christian and of faith in a formulaic narrative way that becomes quite conventional and almost a bit lazy. There is also the movie’s dialogue and script handling, which does become problematic in the movie’s execution, which is hampered by some wooden / forced dialogue at certain scenes (becoming very preachy and cheesy at times) as well as the feeling of the movie’s story being rather incomplete. There’s a stopping point where the Erwin Brothers settle on, but I felt that there could’ve more added, including more expansion on his music career and several other characters. Then there is the notion of the film being quite secular in its appeal, which is quite understandable, but relies too heavy on its religious thematic messages that can be a bit “off-putting” for some. It didn’t bother me as much, but after seeing several other faith-based movies prior to this (i.e. I Can Only Imagine, Overcomer, Indivisible, etc.), this particular movie doesn’t really rise to Cursed in Love and falls prey to being rather generic and flat for most of its runtime. As you can imagine, I Still Believe, while certainly sincere and meaningful in its storytelling, struggles to find a happy balance in its narrative and execution presentation; proving to be difficult in conveying the whole “big picture” of its message and Jeremey Camp’s journey. The cast in I Still Believe is a mixed bag. To me, none of the acting talents are relatively bad (some are better than others…. I admit), but their characterizations and / or involvement in the film’s story is problematic to say the least. Leading the film’s narrative are two protagonist characters of Jeremy Camp and Melissa Henning, who are played by the young talents of K.J. Apa and Britt Robertson respectfully. Of the two, Apa, known for his roles in Riverdale, The Last Summer, and The Hate U Give, is the better equipped in character development and performance as the young and aspiring musical talent of Jeremy Camp. From the get-go, Apa has a likeable charm / swagger to him, which make his portrayal of Jeremy immediately endearing from onset to conclusion. All the scenes he does are well-represented (be it character-based or dramatic) and certainly sells the journey that Jeremy undergoes in the movie. Plus, Apa can also sing, which does lend credence to many of the scene’s musical performance. For Robertson, known for her roles in Tomorrowland, Ask Me Anything, and The Space Between Us, she gets hampered by some of the film’s wooden / cheesy dialogue. True, Robertson’s performance is well-placed and well-mannered in projecting a sense of youthful and dewy-eyed admiration in Mellissa, especially since the hardships here character undergoes in the feature, but it’s hard to get passed the cringeworthy dialogue written for her. Thus, Robertson’s Melissa ends up being the weaker of the two. That being said, both Apa and Robertson do have good on-screen chemistry with each other, which certainly does sell the likeable / loving young relationship of Jeremy and Melissa. In more supporting roles, seasoned talents like actor Gary Sinise (Forest Gump and Apollo 13) and musician singer Shania Twain play Jeremey’s parents, Tom and Terry Camp. While both Sinise and Twain are suitable for their roles as a sort of small town / Midwest couple vibe, their characters are little more than window dressing for the feature’s story. Their screen presence / star power lends weigh to the project, but that’s pretty much it; offering up a few nuggets to bolster a few particular scenes here and there, which is disappointing. Everyone else, including actor Nathan Parsons (General Hospital and Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water) as musical talent and mutual friend to both Jeremy and Melissa, Jean-Luc Lajoie, young actor Reuben Dodd (The Bridge and Teachers) as Jeremy’s handicapped younger brother, Joshua Camp, and his other younger brother, Jared Camp (though I can’t find out who played him the movie), are relatively made up in smaller minor roles that, while acted fine, are reduced to little more than just underdeveloped caricatures in the film, which is a shame and disappointing.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The power of faith, love, and affinity for music take center stage in Jeremy Camp’s life story in the movie I Still Believe. Directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) examine the life and times of Jeremy Camp’s life story; pin-pointing his early life with his relationship Melissa Henning as they battle hardships and their enduring love for one another through difficult times. While the movie’s intent and thematic message of a person’s faith through trouble times is indeed palpable as well as the likeable musical performances, the film certainly struggles to find a cinematic footing in its execution, including a sluggish pace, fragmented pieces, predicable plot beats, too preachy / cheesy dialogue moments, over utilized religious overtones, and mismanagement of many of its secondary /supporting characters. To me, this movie was somewhere between okay and “meh”. It was definitely a Christian faith-based movie endeavor (from start to finish) and definitely had its moments, but it just failed to resonate with me; struggling to find a proper balance in its undertaking. Personally, despite the story, it could’ve been better. Thus, my recommendation for this movie is an “iffy choice” at best as some will like (nothing wrong with that), while others will not and dismiss it altogether. Whatever your stance on religious faith-based flicks, I Still Believe stands as more of a cautionary tale of sorts; demonstrating how a poignant and heartfelt story of real-life drama can be problematic when translating it to a cinematic endeavor. For me, I believe in Jeremy Camp’s story / message, but not so much the feature.

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Tells the story of a husband named Hong Dae Young who is on the verge of divorce but finds himself back in his body when he was at the prime of his life 18 years ago. He ends up changing his name to Go Woo Young when he becomes 18- years-old again. Meanwhile, his wife Jung Da Jung joins the workforce as an anchorwoman later on in life after raising their 18-year-old twins.

🎬 18 Again Season 1 Episode 6 Online Free 🎬

Title : 18 Again Episode Title : Episode 6 Release Date : 06 Oct 2020 Runtime : 65 minutes Genres : Comedy , Fantasy , Romance Networks : jTBC

18 Again

Jung Da Jung is married to 37-year-old Hong Dae Young. They have have 18-year-old son and daughter. Jung Da Jung works hard as a rookie announcer and she has a warm heart. She becomes completely fed up with her husband and is unable to deal with him anymore. Hong Dae Young got fired from his job and he is looked down upon by his family. Jung Da Jung hands him divorce papers.

Meanwhile, Hong Dae Young looks at himself as an ordinary jobless middle-aged man. He regrets his life. At that moment, his body changes into that of an 18-year-old year old person, while his mind is still that of his 37-year-old self. Back in his teenage days, Hong Dae Young was an excellent basketball player and also popular. Now, with his regained 18-year-old body, he changes his name to Go Woo Young and begins to live a new life.

Show Info

Network: Korea, Republic of jTBC (2020 - now) Schedule: Mondays, Tuesdays at 21:30 (90 min) Status: Running Language: Korean Show Type: Scripted Genres: Comedy Fantasy Romance Episodes ordered: 16 episodes

With dozens of films genre being released each year, a typical one that gets overlooked by the more popular ones (action, drama, comedy, animation, etc.) is the subgenre category of religious movie. These films (sometimes called “faith-based” features) usually center around the struggles and ideas of a person (or groups) identity of a religious faith, which is, more or less, has a profound event or obstacle to overcome. While not entirely, the most commonplace religious type movies focus on the religion of Christianity, sometimes venturing back into the past in cinematic retelling classic biblical tales, including famed epic films like Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur (the original 1959 version) to some more modern endeavors from Hollywood like Risen, The Young Messiah, and Paul, Apostle of Christ. Other Christian “faith” films finds a more contemporary setting to tell its story, with some being “based on a true-life account” like the movies Unconditional, Heaven is Real, Unbroken, I Can Only Imagine, Indivisible, and Miracles from Heaven, while others might find inspiration from literary novels / fictionalized narratives like The Shack, Overcomer, War Room, and Same Kind of Different as Me. Regardless, whether finding inspiration from true life, references from the bible, or originality, these movies usually speaks on a person’s faith and the inner struggle he or she has within or one society’s views, spreading a message of belief and the understand of one’s belief. Now, after the success of 2018’s I Can Only Imagine, directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) and Lionsgate studios release the 2020 faith-based film / music biopic feature I Still Believe. Does the film walk a fine line between its religious aspects and cinematic entertainment or does the movie get entangled in its own faith-based preaching?

THE STORY

Its 1999 and Jeremy Camp (K.J. Apa) is a young and aspiring musician who would like nothing more than to honor his God through the power of music. Leaving his Indiana home for the warmer climate of California and a college education, Jeremy soon comes across one Melissa Henning (Britt Robertson), a fellow college student that he takes notices in the audience at a local concert. Falling for cupid’s arrow immediately, he introduces himself to her and quickly discovers that she is attracted to him too. However, Melissa holds back from forming a budding relationship as she fears it will create an awkward situation between Jeremy and their mutual friend, Jean-Luc (Nathan Parson), a fellow musician and who also has feeling for Melissa. Still, Jeremy is relentless in his pursuit of her until they eventually find themselves in a loving dating relationship. However, their youthful courtship with each other comes to a halt when life-threating news of Melissa having cancer takes center stage. The diagnosis does nothing to deter Jeremey’s love for her and the couple eventually marries shortly thereafter. Howsoever, they soon find themselves walking a fine line between a life together and suffering by her illness; with Jeremy questioning his faith in music, himself, and with God himself.

THE GOOD / THE BAD

Sorry if this sounds a bit familiar pieces from my review of I Can Only Imagine, but it definitely says what I feel about these films. While I am a devout Christian (not a crazy zealot or anything like that) for my bases of religion and my outlook beliefs in life, I’m not a huge fan of the “faith-based” feature films. That’s not to say that they’re bad or that I find them deplorable to the other more popular movie genres out there, but sometimes they can a bit preachy and corny / honky in their religious overtones and overall dramatic direction. Personally, I like the more biblical tales that Hollywood as put over, with Cecil B. Demile’s The Ten Commandments and William Wyler’s Ben-Hur; both of have proven to stand the test of time within filmmaking. Of course, Hollywood’s recent trend of put out more “remakes” movies puts an overcast on those biblical epics with 2014’s Exodus: Gods and Kings and 2016’s Ben-Hur; both of which failed to capture a sense of cinematic integrity and had a messy religious outlook in its zeal aspect. Of late, however, Hollywood as retreated more into contemporary pieces, finding narratives that are, more or less, set in a more “modern” day and age to their Christian-faithful based features. As I mentioned above, some have found success in their literary forms (being based on a book and adapted to the big screen), but most derive their inspiration from true life accounts, translating into something that’s meant to strike a chord (with moviegoers) due to its “based on a true story” aspect and nuances. Again, some are good (as I liked Unbroken and The Shack), while others kind of become a bit too preachy and let the religious overtures hamper the film, making them less-than desirable to mainstream audiences or even members of their own faiths. Thus, these religious-esque films can sometimes be problematic in their final presentation for both its viewers and in the film itself; sometimes making the movie feel like a TV channel movie rather than a theatrical feature film. This brings me around to talking about I Still Believe, a 2020 motion picture release of the Christian religious faith-based genre. As almost customary, Hollywood usually puts out two (maybe three) films of this variety movies within their yearly theatrical release lineup, with the releases usually being around spring time and / or fall respectfully. I didn’t hear much when this movie was first announced (probably got buried underneath all the popular movies news on the newsfeed). My first actual glimpse of the movie was when the film’s movie trailer was released, which looked somewhat interesting to me. Yes, it looked the movie was gonna be the typical “faith-based” vibe, but it was going to be directed by the Erwin Brothers, who directed I Can Only Imagine (a film that I did like). Plus, the trailer for I Still Believe premiered for quite some time, so I kept on seeing it a lot of time when I went to my local movie theater. You can kind of say that it was a bit “engrained in my brain”. Thus, I was a bit keen on seeing it. Fortunately, I was able to see it before the COVID-19 outbreak closed the movie theaters down (saw it during its opening night), but, due to work scheduling, I haven’t had the time to do my review for it…. until now. And what did I think of it? Well, it was pretty “meh”. While its heart is definitely in the right place and quite sincere, I Still Believe is a bit too preachy and unbalanced within its narrative execution and character developments. The religious message is clearly there, but takes too many detours and not focusing on certain aspects that weigh the feature’s presentation. As mentioned, I Still Believe is directed by the Erwin Brothers (Andrew and Jon), whose previous directorial works include such films like Moms’ Night Out, Woodlawn, and I Can Only Imagine. Given their affinity attraction religious based Christian movies, the Erwin Brothers seem like a suitable choice in bringing Jeremy Camp’s story to a cinematic representation; approaching the material with a certain type of gentleness and sincerity to the proceedings. Much like I Can Only Imagine, the Erwin Brothers shape the feature around the life of a popular Christian singer; presenting his humble beginnings and all the trials and tribulations that he must face along the way, while musical songs / performance taking importance into account of the film’s narrative story progression. That’s not to say that the movie isn’t without its heavier moments, with the Erwin, who (again) are familiar with religious overtones themes in their endeavors, frame I Still Believe compelling messages of love, loss, and redemption, which (as always) are quite fundamental to watch and experience through tragedy. This even speaks to the film’s script, which was penned by Erwin brothers playing double duty on the project, that has plenty of heartfelt dramatic moments that will certainly tug on the heartstrings of some viewers out there as well as provide to be quite an engaging tale of going through tragedy and hardship and finding a redemption arc to get out of it. This is especially made abundantly clear when dealing with a fatal illness that’s similar to what Melissa undergoes in the film, which is quite universal and reflective in everyone’s world, with the Erwin Brothers painting the painful journey that Melissa takes along with Jeremy by her side, who must learn to cope with pain of a loved one. There is a “double edge” sword to the film’s script, but I’ll mention that below. Suffice to say, the movie settles quickly into the familiar pattern of a religious faith-based feature that, while not exactly polished or original, can be quite the “comfort food” to some; projecting a wholesome message of faith, hope, and love. Personally, I didn’t know of Jeremy Camp and the story of he and Melissa Henning, so it was quite a poignant journey that was invested unfolding throughout the film’s proceedings. As a side-note, the movie is a bit a “tear jerker”, so for those who prone to crying during these dramatic heartfelt movies….get your tissues out. In terms of presentation, I Still Believe meets the industry standard of a religious faith-based motion pictures. Of course, theatrical endeavors like these don’t really have big budged production money to invest in the film’s creation. Thus, filmmakers have to spend their money wisely in bringing their cinematic tales to life on the silver screen. To that effect, the Erwin Brothers smartly utilized this knowledge in the movie’s creation; budgeting the various aspects of the background and genetic theatrical make-up that feel appropriate and genuine in the film’s narrative. So, all the various “behind the scenes” team / areas that I usually mention (i.e. production designs, set decorations, costumes, and cinematography, etc.) are all relatively good as I really don’t have much to complain (whether good or bad) about them. Again, they meet the industry standard for a faith-based movie. Additionally, the musical song parts are pretty good as well. As mentioned, I really didn’t know anything about Jeremy Camp, so I couldn’t say what songs of his were good, but the songs that are presented in the film were pretty decent enough to certain highlight points throughout the movie. Though they are somewhat short (assuming not the whole song is being played), but still effectively good and nice to listen to. Might have to check out a few of the real songs one day. Lastly, the film’s score, which was done by John Debney, fits perfect with this movie; projecting the right amount of heartfelt tenderness in some scenes and inspirational melodies of enlightenment in others. Unfortunately, not all is found to be pure and religiously cinematic in the movie as I Still Believe gets weighed down with several major points of criticism and execution in the feature. How so? For starters, the movie feels a bit incomplete in Jeremy Camp’s journey. What’s presented works (somewhat), but it doesn’t hold up, especially because the Erwin Brothers have a difficult time in nailing down the right narrative path for the film to take. Of course, the thread of Jeremy and Melissa are the main central focus (and justly so), but pretty much everything else gets completely pushed aside, including Jeremy’s musical career rise to stardom and many of the various characters and their importance (more on that below). This also causes the film to have a certain pacing issues throughout the movie, with I Still Believe runtime of 116 minutes (one hour and fifty-six minutes) feeling longer than it should be, especially with how much narrative that the Erwin Brothers skip out on (i.e. several plot chunks / fragments are left unanswered or missing). Additionally, even if a viewer doesn’t know of Jeremy Camp’s story, I Still Believe does, for better or worse, follow a fairly predictable path that’s quite customary for faith-based movie. Without even reading anything about the real lives of Jeremy and Melissa prior to seeing the feature, it’s quite clearly as to where the story is heading and what will ultimately play out (i.e. plot beats and theatrical narrative act progression). Basically, if you’ve seeing one or two Christian faith-based film, you’ll know what to expect from I Still Believe. Thus, the Erwin Brothers don’t really try to creatively do something different with the film…. instead they reinforce the idealisms of Christian and of faith in a formulaic narrative way that becomes quite conventional and almost a bit lazy. There is also the movie’s dialogue and script handling, which does become problematic in the movie’s execution, which is hampered by some wooden / forced dialogue at certain scenes (becoming very preachy and cheesy at times) as well as the feeling of the movie’s story being rather incomplete. There’s a stopping point where the Erwin Brothers settle on, but I felt that there could’ve more added, including more expansion on his music career and several other characters. Then there is the notion of the film being quite secular in its appeal, which is quite understandable, but relies too heavy on its religious thematic messages that can be a bit “off-putting” for some. It didn’t bother me as much, but after seeing several other faith-based movies prior to this (i.e. I Can Only Imagine, Overcomer, Indivisible, etc.), this particular movie doesn’t really rise to Cursed in Love and falls prey to being rather generic and flat for most of its runtime. As you can imagine, I Still Believe, while certainly sincere and meaningful in its storytelling, struggles to find a happy balance in its narrative and execution presentation; proving to be difficult in conveying the whole “big picture” of its message and Jeremey Camp’s journey. The cast in I Still Believe is a mixed bag. To me, none of the acting talents are relatively bad (some are better than others…. I admit), but their characterizations and / or involvement in the film’s story is problematic to say the least. Leading the film’s narrative are two protagonist characters of Jeremy Camp and Melissa Henning, who are played by the young talents of K.J. Apa and Britt Robertson respectfully. Of the two, Apa, known for his roles in Riverdale, The Last Summer, and The Hate U Give, is the better equipped in character development and performance as the young and aspiring musical talent of Jeremy Camp. From the get-go, Apa has a likeable charm / swagger to him, which make his portrayal of Jeremy immediately endearing from onset to conclusion. All the scenes he does are well-represented (be it character-based or dramatic) and certainly sells the journey that Jeremy undergoes in the movie. Plus, Apa can also sing, which does lend credence to many of the scene’s musical performance. For Robertson, known for her roles in Tomorrowland, Ask Me Anything, and The Space Between Us, she gets hampered by some of the film’s wooden / cheesy dialogue. True, Robertson’s performance is well-placed and well-mannered in projecting a sense of youthful and dewy-eyed admiration in Mellissa, especially since the hardships here character undergoes in the feature, but it’s hard to get passed the cringeworthy dialogue written for her. Thus, Robertson’s Melissa ends up being the weaker of the two. That being said, both Apa and Robertson do have good on-screen chemistry with each other, which certainly does sell the likeable / loving young relationship of Jeremy and Melissa. In more supporting roles, seasoned talents like actor Gary Sinise (Forest Gump and Apollo 13) and musician singer Shania Twain play Jeremey’s parents, Tom and Terry Camp. While both Sinise and Twain are suitable for their roles as a sort of small town / Midwest couple vibe, their characters are little more than window dressing for the feature’s story. Their screen presence / star power lends weigh to the project, but that’s pretty much it; offering up a few nuggets to bolster a few particular scenes here and there, which is disappointing. Everyone else, including actor Nathan Parsons (General Hospital and Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water) as musical talent and mutual friend to both Jeremy and Melissa, Jean-Luc Lajoie, young actor Reuben Dodd (The Bridge and Teachers) as Jeremy’s handicapped younger brother, Joshua Camp, and his other younger brother, Jared Camp (though I can’t find out who played him the movie), are relatively made up in smaller minor roles that, while acted fine, are reduced to little more than just underdeveloped caricatures in the film, which is a shame and disappointing.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The power of faith, love, and affinity for music take center stage in Jeremy Camp’s life story in the movie I Still Believe. Directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) examine the life and times of Jeremy Camp’s life story; pin-pointing his early life with his relationship Melissa Henning as they battle hardships and their enduring love for one another through difficult times. While the movie’s intent and thematic message of a person’s faith through trouble times is indeed palpable as well as the likeable musical performances, the film certainly struggles to find a cinematic footing in its execution, including a sluggish pace, fragmented pieces, predicable plot beats, too preachy / cheesy dialogue moments, over utilized religious overtones, and mismanagement of many of its secondary /supporting characters. To me, this movie was somewhere between okay and “meh”. It was definitely a Christian faith-based movie endeavor (from start to finish) and definitely had its moments, but it just failed to resonate with me; struggling to find a proper balance in its undertaking. Personally, despite the story, it could’ve been better. Thus, my recommendation for this movie is an “iffy choice” at best as some will like (nothing wrong with that), while others will not and dismiss it altogether. Whatever your stance on religious faith-based flicks, I Still Believe stands as more of a cautionary tale of sorts; demonstrating how a poignant and heartfelt story of real-life drama can be problematic when translating it to a cinematic endeavor. For me, I believe in Jeremy Camp’s story / message, but not so much the feature.