#my mom isn't either so yea that sucks

[princemick]

also. we found like lumps on my dog so. thats uh fun, we're gonna go to the vet but yea its like, they're big so yea, we're hoping they're nothing but I'm not very optimistic. just wanted to share that ig.

[fizzbot]

alright, you, this isn't a choice ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS OR I WILL EXPLOTE!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHH NO DONT EXPLOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok this got kind of long, so im answering this hellaverse critical ask game under the cut!!!!

1. Explain, not necessarily a criticism, but a nitpick that you have for whatever reason. oh i LOVE to nitpick <333333 i really fucking hate that the sinners cant leave pride. thats literally the dumbest shit ever. guys, that would SOLVE THE OVERPOPULATION PROBLEM????? exterminations straight up would not be necessary (or at least could be way less frequent) if the sinners could travel. some other little things.......i hate that mammon is the only sin that acts like a sin. the REASON lust and gluttony are considered ""deadly sins"" isnt to say 'sex is bad' or 'eating any more than you need is bad', its about how you partake. lust is a sin when you use sex for your own gain, and disrespect others boundaries. gluttony is a sin when you overindulge, taking from the needy and hoarding what you need. bee is an alright character and i LOVE ozze, but why do they care about being respectful???? theyre not really sins if they only show the good aspects of a sin right?????????????????? whats sinful about how ozzie partakes in sex. OH OH OH ALSO. VEGA WAS CAST OUT OF HEAVEN FOR SPARING A CANNIBAL CHILD. A HELLBORN SPECIES. THEY ARE PARDONED FROM THE EXTERMINATION, WHY DID SHE GET KICKED OUT FOR THAT,,,,???? idk JKLSDFHJKLSDF i could list nitpicks all day, i gotta move on

2. What's your favorite and least favorite design in either show? for helluva boss, i gotta give "best design" to striker. i am incredibly biased because hes one of the only characters i like im choosing to ignore western energy and oops but i really like it!!!! its simple, effective, and i think that really lends to the twist in harvest moon. like, yea, this cowboy might be evil, or he could just be a cowboy. for WORST hb design its Bee. no question or context whatsoever. her colors are so fucking bad. for hazbin.....i think my favorite design is probably mimzy!!!! again, real simple, but conveys 'flapper' super well. this is honestly not saying much bc i really dont LOVE her design but i like the trim on the chest a lot and her palette isnt totally eyebleeding. rosies is also pretty good!!! i also like missi's but im a little biased towards the scenecore look JHKLSDFHJK as for worst design.......ugh i might have to give it to val. it makes me so fucking angry. WHEN HE OPENS HIS WINGS HIS DESGN IS GREAT. THE GOLD, THE BELT, THE OPEN SHIRT. BUT THEYRE ALWAYS CLOSED INTO AN UGLY ASS ROBE THAT MAKES NO SENSE. also alastor sucks but thats a given im not even gonna mention it

3. What character do you think has the most wasted potential? Why? ok this isnt really an answer but......every female character. all of them. i am not exaggerating. vega's angel twist couldve been so good but was so stupid. she has no character traits other than "charlies overprotective girlfriend". the exact same thing is true for millie. most of the mom characters die or are bitches. stella is the worst example of this as there is nothing to her at ALL other than evil (earlier i was watching some of the early eps and you can see so many photographs in the bg of her, stolas, and via looking like a happy couple. whered that go). charlie is the princess of fucking hell and yet is completely and totally useless and is worlds biggest pushover. velvet is usually ignored in favor of the 2 male vees, even in (or even ESPECIALLY in) fanworks. why is nifty like that. also honorary male character: PENTIOUSSSS PENTIOUS PENTIOUS PENTIOUS. SO FUCKING WASTED. it genuinely makes me so fucking angry that HE got the redemption when he HAD NO ARC. NONE. HE DID NOTHING WORTHY. BUT THEY HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING AND JUST?? CHOSE NOT TO??

4. What are some aspects of the shows you actually enjoy? .....uhhh..... JHKSDLFHJKLSDFHSDJKL im blanking. honestly im not sure why i enjoy watching them so much. maybe i like them mostly to riff on??? but there was a time where i did enjoy both?? i think i just like watching the little ""arcs"" play out, even if theyre executed horribly. i might come back to this one to think of a better answer

5. What's a redesign from the crit community that you enjoy? i dont think ive ever seen an alastor design thats WORSE than the og. every single one ever is an improvement

6. What's a ship you hate and why? oh. so many. if were talking canon ships, i fucking HATE stolitz. absolutely awful no redeeming qualities ever which SUCKS because i totally think you COULD MAKE IT WORK AND THEY CHOSE NOT TO. its weird slimey fetish bait and i hate it and it totally ruins any stolas development for me bc i just despise him. i also really hate cherrisnake. i think they coulda made it work? but also it was a ship i didnt like even before it was canon, so the awful execution just left a bad taste in my mouth. as for noncanon ships, i hate all alastor ships, but radioapple has a special spot in hell imo. idk why it fills me with so much rage JKLSDFHJKSDHJKL other than that, most canon ships are boring and i dont care about them ether way

7. What's a ship you enjoy? BLITZKER SWEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!! fuck that random bot for taking the blitzker user in 2012 i should be me!!!!!!!!!!!! blitz x striker is so real to me. if viv wants toxic yaoi in her shows so goddamn badly at least make it COMPELLING. cowboyfriends are SO compelling. to me. i also do like fizzmodeus, theyre pretty cute!!!! uhhh. some others i like are polyvees, one-sided radiostatic, zestmilla, mammon x adam, anddd.....i think with some SERIOUS re-writing, huskerdust could work. weve done a great job of it in our fix-verse so far 😎

8. If you had to rewrite a ship in canon - which one and how? ALL OF THEM. LET ME SAVE THIS SHOW. stolitz and huskerdust are the big ones though......for stolitz, i would get rid of their little quid pro quo deal. i know a lot of critics hate it, but i think you could make the "childhood friends" thing work, if, as adults, they rekindled that friendship first. no weird sex deals/manipulation on EITHER end. let them bond over something else. with huskerdust, i also think it could work if husk didnt start really getting interested/involved with him until AFTER angel did some healing. husk shoudlnt have to be the one to fucking save him, he should give angel a wake up call so he knows hes continuing the cycle of abuse. i think maybe after angel makes amends for all the sexual harassment, THEN they could become friends. THEN they could become lovers.

9. Doodle / write request! Asker gives you a (non-NSFW) prompt to draw / give a drabble for! you didnt include this in your ask but i asked you over discord and you said kitty!!!!! fitting, since shes a fizzbot :}c here you go!!!! a little skatch of her!!!!

10. What's a theory you have for future episodes of either show? i think we kinda nailed it when we had that conversation over the phone about the full moon ep in helluva. "blitz is gonna take stolas giving him the crystal as a sign that stolas DOESNT like him, and hes gonna feel all betrayed and sad and hurt. im not mad about this because i think its stupid, im mad because i KNOW its stupid, and i KNOW its gonna be what happens". also i think adam is gonna come back as a sinner but so many people have said that one first

11. Asker gives you a ship to rate and give your perspective on. again you didnt give me one so i asked you over discord and you said BLITZKER!!!!!!!!!! i love these stupidass cowboyfriends 9/10!!!!!!!!!!!! i could literally talk about them all day. their relationship is like, the only thing that stays semi-consistent in western energy in oops so thats all those eps have going for them. but i LOVED their energy in harvest moon. striker seems so pleasantly surprised to find someone about at his skill level!!!!! blitz is the ONLY one who can make sex jokes around him, and have striker NOT be mad at him for it!!!!!! you could argue hes just manipulating blitz SURE but i like to think there is at least some attraction there. calling him "bossman" is just gay as hell IM SORRY. losing points just because. i hate harvest moon and oops striker i HATE HIM I HATE HIM. THEY RUINED HIM . MY BOY :(((((((((((((

12. What media do you enjoy or are critical of? like. what other things do i enjoy?? i enjoy a lot of things :PPP i keep everything else i like/am critical of over on @cloudyscollections <3333 but the most similar relationship to this show i have would be my one with miraculous ladybug. at least that one can get away with being a show for children

13. If you're doing a rewrite - asker offers an inquiry or suggestion about your rewrite. i dont think this is applicable bc you co-own the rewrite anyway HJKLSDFHJKLDF

14. Free space!

blitz sitting like field mouse

THANKS FOR SENDING THIS BABE MWEMWMEWMEMWEMWMWEMWMWEMWEMW <33333333333333333

[xxtinymiseryxx]

Eddie’s story

Mom died around a month ago. I knew she was sick but I didn't think she was so sick. Everything hasn't been the same. It feels like everything has just become darker like all the light was sucked out of the world. Now I'm stuck with Dad which isn't good at all. I swear he hates me and if he could he would kill me in a heartbeat. He hasn't been talking to me much, really only when we eat.

School starts in a month and my dad was scared because we don't have a lot of money. I saved enough so I can get a backpack. My last one got shredded by some bullies. I can't believe summer is going to be over so soon. I mean it felt like yesterday when I came home to my mom with a bruised eye. I don't like school it seems like a waste of time. It's hard to learn when you have everyone at the school either bullying you or watching you. The good news, I was able to make some friends. They are the only ones who don't think I'm weird. Oliver, Jeff, Gareth, and we all decided to start a band.

We don't have a name yet but that doesn't matter. Then a new kid moved down the block. He has the biggest house in the neighborhood. I think his name was Steve. He seemed like a cool kid and his family was loaded. He moved in a week ago, I haven't seen him much but when I did he always gave me the nicest smile. I have been meaning to ask him to hang out sometime I just can't bring up the courage. Like I get butterflies in my stomach anytime I see him. He is cute. Wait, I'm not falling for him, right? I mean I'm straight. What would my dad think if I told him I thought a boy was cute? I would be dead. I mean I am only 6 after all. 

Before Eddie could stay in his train of thoughts he heard his name get yelled from across the house. Edward! Yea?" Eddie ran while yelling. What did I say about yelling Edward? Sorry dad. "What did I tell you about calling me dad," Al said in a serious tone. "Sorry sir" Eddie replied sadly. I need you to go clean the kitchen. "Yes sir," Edward said while walking to the kitchen sadly.

Keep reading??

[alexandratheangel]

You know why I like being high?

So here

I cough a little and that sucks

And maybe I can't fully sit my head up

Because it feels so goddamn heavy

And my neck is stressed

And maybe my hands are numb

So yea it's hard to type

But I feel so good

Like that shit just won't bug me

I think I have lock jaw

But it doesn't hurt as bad

And I haven't received a text from him

Since I told him how I felt

That doesn't hurt as bad either

My mom isn't around

But right now it doesn't feel as empty to be without her

Nothing goes away

It's there

But I don't have to feel it

Think it

Lie with it

Cry for it

Feel rage towards it

I can be

And rationalize

Reminisce on things I never thought would leave

And feel a little happy about it

About something from back then

[nathank77]

11/2/24

8:08 p.m

I got a better plan to sabotage Riley. I'll play ball with her. She goes wild slamming into things to go get the ball.

All I have to do is play with the dog. Which won't be easy. Sometimes I kick the tennis ball around for her to go get it. And she always slams into things, trying to get it. I won't touch it but my shoe can touch it bc it's contaminated.

If I throw the ball when I used to she goes fucking wild.

I don't have to wait until my mother is gone and be an asshole. I just have to play with her dog right in front of her. Riley will slam into the tree. And fuck shit up. Mom will be mad and say i shouldn't play with her inside and I'll say well shes a German shepherd. She needs two hours of exercise a day and your 10 minutes a few times a day for her to use the bathroom isn't enough. Oh it sucks she broke your Christopher Radco ornaments 🤷

So yea thats my plan. It's better. It'll get her in a SAFE environment where she can exercise two hours a day and go to the vet annually at least.

She deserves better than us. I do love her but I dont want her. You can love someone and not be the right person for them.

Riley is actually really sweet but my family doesn't deserve a dog. She will never have the happy life she should have.

It's really an ultimatum. It's me or Riley.

Suicide is coming soon. Especially if sleep issues persist. I shouldn't struggle to fall asleep even with my thyriod in overdrive, why? I slept almost a decade on weed with my thyriod levels being astronomically high.... and instead of weed it's xanax... it's been almost a year. I expect my brain to get it's shit together....

I'm never going to meet someone. I had a lesbian on a queer app like me... where I say I'm trans... it's always the lesbos. They want to pretend transmen are women. It's gross. I'm actually going to be alone forever.

I went to the gym, I cleaned the shower, I took a shower, I ate and I played about 2 hours of a game. My eyes are strained bc it's such an old game....

I could lead a really productive life if Riley left and if someone would date me. I could be there to pick the kids up for school. I could have a bad meal on the table by 5 or 6 p.m... a bad one but food. I could be real productive.

I posted something below: "you wouldn't believe the kind of person i could be if you wanted it."

And that's to one particular person. She knows who she is. You wouldn't believe the type of person I could become if you wanted me. Why? How would I be different? I'd quit cigarettes for you and your kids. And myself but I mean you got to know that I'd quit cigarettes for myself if I felt i had any form of a future... I don't... that's the point...

Id be your rock. I'd be broke asf... but I'd be there for you and the kids. And that's if you're happily married- besides for the cigarettes thing cause I ain't quitting if I don't have a purpose. A purpose to me is being a husband and a father. Or becoming a famous gamer. I believe becoming either is equally unrealistic..... my likelihood of becoming someone like unspeakable is the same as someone wanting to marry me... impossible... but anyways.

If you're not happy, I would quit cigarettes. I'd be there for you and your kids all the time. I'd really step up. I could if you wanted me. But no one wants me.

If anyone i liked, liked me back and gave me a chance, I'd surprise the world with the type of person I could be.

[batpham-discord-highlights]

Tim Drake and Robin: A Character Discussion

Source: #gotham (originally off topic in #ghosts-and-bats)

{Following a conversation about Bruce & his physical and mental capabilities}

G

The reason why Tim approached Bruce was because of how violent he got

A

thinking about what vigilante life did to Tim makes me sad :(

I

i think that is the cool thing about Tim, he approached him.

G

I think the only person being Robin has actually helped in the long run is Damian

But that's just me

I

ye

A

It definitely helped Damien

Maybe Jason at the beginning

Dick needed it as an outlet, so I think it probably did help him in the long run :/

G

Dick absolutely needed it, at least at first

A

But in the end it definitely changed the first three

In what's probably not a good way a lot of the time

G

Yep

A

Jason "Robin Gives Me Magic" Todd and Tim "I Want To Help My Heroes" Drake

G

Dick "I'm going to go find my parents murderer whether you allow me or not" Grayson

A

Damien "I Will Prove Myself Worthy To Father" al Ghul-Wayne

I

pros and cons

con gave them more trauma

pros they're skilled disasters and we love them

LOL yes

A

Indeed

It definitely helped Dick mellow out

It gave Jason some perspective

It helped Damien grow up and grow out of the assassin mindset

And maybe it gave Tim confidence?

Other than that, it hurt him a lot more than it helped him, depending on which comics you read about his initial time as Robin

I

Tim also came in rough time so it doesn’t help

but i say it gave him confidence

but idk

he had a lot of balls

just going up to batman to become robin

G

Tim is also the one who didn't necessarily understand the risks to the same extent as the others

A

That's true

Well...

He recognized that Jason died and that this could kill him- at least logically

I

yeah

strange

A

He was a lot more naive in some ways though

I

like he knew but didn't know

A

It happens when you grow up with you, yourself, and I

G

If we look at their backgrounds, Dick (due to circus accidents), Jason (just do to where he grew up), and Damian (assassin) all had a true understanding of death growing up

A

I will say that Tim isn't perfect

And I don't think he was the best Robin

But he triggers my big sis instincts x 10000

Tim was there for the circus accident, I think

I

tru they all had a concept of death

but having it and hearing it is a bit different

G

I think he is in some of the comics

But he's super little

A

He is, that's true

He understands it more from a distance

G

Yeah, that's a good way of putting it

Where the others had a more up close and personal understanding

I

like death didn't affect me until I had someone die

now i can’t handle stuff with death in it without crying

A

The difference between knowing and knowing

But either way, I think the key understanding was the Tim was the least prepared to become Robin

I

yea

I think Tim didn't have a close death until his parents were murdered or his father, right?

A

I doubt he was as physically strong as any of the other Robins ever

I

he didn't have- ye

G

Yes. And if we include Stephanie, she was also more prepared than Tim in the Robin role

A

But accuracy? Intel? Detective work? he's got that

I

mhm

Tim's strength

A

And he would be plenty scary with a gun (as seen in canon)

G

Yeah, even with his fighting style, he prefers to keep more of a distance, hence the staff

I

which works great for him

A

Tim is more of a mind over matter which makes him great for Batman but not as great for Robin

And he gets too into the Batman mindset

That's why him becoming his own thing is so important

It just really, really sucks how it happened

G

Yes, yes, and yes

A

He would never be happy as Oracle, because he still loves going out at night

I

oh I did love in YJ when Tim like Batman sees allies I see friends thing =w=

A

I love that too

Tim used to love with his whole heart <3

I

yes Tim needs to be in the thick of it, but since he lacks some skills, plans harder to keep out of it.

A

Then a bunch of his friends "died", his Mom and Dad died, and Bruce "died"- suddenly he was all alone and drowning

G

Which resulted in his obsessive need to find Bruce... I believe that chain of events resulted in the missing spleen

A

Yes

Bruce "Dead" > No one listens > Robin is taken and given to his would-have-been-murderer > Is nebulously threatened with Arkham (it's complicated) > Becomes an international art thief> Gets involved in the League of Assassins > Loses his spleen and half his team to a rival assassin who didn't even know who he was > Gets the proof he needs that Bruce is alive > Blows up a bunch of LoA bases > Returns with the evidence > Bruce is saved

I

LOL

dang

A

And I bet the whole time he was telling himself "Everything will be okay (subconsciously: back to normal) once Bruce is back"

Spoiler alert: doesn't happen

EP

And then New 52 happened shortly thereafter, so not a lot of closure was had

G

Yeah, and that rewrote some of the continuity

Cuz he's not currently missing a spleen

-__-

DC....

A

It would seriously complicate being a vigilante, I guess

But it would also force him more into the niche he would be better at filling

EP

Yeah, Vigilante is not a good occupation to be immunocompromised in

G

Very true. Tim's much better at planning

And he's done a lot of work with Oracle

EP

Though given he's already messed around with cloning after Kon died, there's always a chance he clones himself a spleen

G

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

A

That's true 🤔

He would totally do that

I could totally see him having secretly replaced his spleen like that

G

^ This. There is so much missed potential there

A

Pru shows up "dude, you don't have a spleen"

I

amg

A

Tim "psh, I totally have a spleen. what are you on?"

I

I would love that

because that feels like tim

A

give me more PRU CONTENT

EP

Tim: If you promise not to tell ANY of the Bats or Bat associates about the spleen thing, I'll hook you up with a new larynx

A

Pru: done.

No one realizes anything has happened until Ra's notices

OR WHEN THEY FIND TIM'S SPLEEN IN A JAR

AND RA'S IS TALKING TO IT

EP

Pru: It wasn't me, no backsies on the larynx

A

Tim, fuming: yeah, I know.

Tim , muttering: stupid ra's and his stupid obsessions and his stupid face

All of the bats are suddenly Very Concerned about Tim

And he's like

Where were you when I needed this concern?

I'm fine now (lie)

I

LMAO

the ahh we fucked up : I moment

G

Dick: being Batman and trying to tame Damian

Jason: being a criminal

I

Bruce was stuck in time

A

Cass: Hong Kong

I just think that if Dick had handled the situation right, being there for Tim would not have been that hard

I

dc drama comics

G

And DC refuses to allow the BatFam attempts at being happier

A

Ah yes, let's have Tim walk in on his would-have-been-murderer wearing his Robin costume and saying he's unnecessary and NOT HAVE DICK CORRECT HIM (that I'm aware of)

I

oof

G

Oooh. Yeah, that's handled badly

I

yeah, THEY CAN STILL HAVE DRAMA AND MISERY just let them have better bonds

PLZ

they don’t need drama from each other

A

There's also a history of people being so sensitive to Damien's situation that they essentially end up telling Tim to man up and take this verbal abuse from his would-have-been younger brother

Because you can't tell me Tim wouldn't have loved to be a big brother

EP

He was all for it right until Dami stabbed him

Then knocked him off the dinosaur

Then cut his grapple line

G

And it doesn't help that Tim was already nearly killed by Jason prior to that

I

yeah oof

A

2/3 for Tim's brothers trying to kill him

G

Yep

A

he just wants to be loved and wanted gosh darn it

EP

And while Dick didn't try to kill him, he tended to excuse Damian's BS towards Tim. And that's why Cass is best sibling

A

Cass and Tim have a special relationship that is sacred

They are twins now

*slaps "Do Not Separate" label on them*

[anonil88]

Euphoria Season 2 Episode 4 Liveblog

It's my birthday so we are jumping straight into this. As always there will be spoilers below.

🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇🎇

Aw Rue Rue she definitely may be ace or she has just killed her sex drive via opis.

This is so sweet all ot these analogies to art ugh I can't. I'm kinda tearing up this is too much because the love is so big but it's going to hurt so bad when it ends on flames.

My heart can't take this but Rue confirmed she has killed her libido with drugs.

I can't im laughing this is hilarious but I also have lied too. Also the fact that Jules could tell she was lying because Rue has actually came before.

No Elliot don't ruin this but also this is funny as fuvk but he's definitely going to um my jaw is just wide open. This is so funny but I know yep.

Oh fuck there it is ugh stop yall stopped. Ugh stop. Oh thank God Rue texted cause omfg. Ugh this is gonna be so bad. I hate that Sam wrote this in.

I can't even blame them cause I too did stuff like this. This sucks though.

Maddy deserves a better boyfriend and bestfriend. (My friend said Maddy looks like a rich wine mom by the pool and yep sis is living in her future right now, sheesh I don't think you want this Maddy.

Cassie just leave him alone he is fucking playing you both. I hate this man for fucking up this friendship but I also really dislike Cassie for just not breaking it off with him and being a better bestfriend.

I hate Nate, oh Maddy my heart she loved him entirely. Loved him so much and Cassie THAT AINT YOUR NIGGA.

Nate is a piece of shit and Cassie is fucking batshit stupid as hell. Thank you for reading the hell out of her though Nate he clearing this girl out. Never did i think I would be agreeing with Nate fucking Jacobs.

Cassie....that's literally what you are doing to Maddy.

Ew not him saying "I love you."

I love Lexi, she is a good ass sister and Cassie should open up to her sister.

Tove Lo!! And INXS!! Love love love this.

Cal is reminiscing about Derek and is about to drive drunk I bet. This is funny as hell but accurate, I have seen white guys and their dad have these conversations.

Nate actually cares about his dad which is wild.

They know its wrong and they keep going fucking Elliot and Jules. But also Elliot and Rue are snorting lines for fun....he didnt do it so um he is a bad guy. I know what he's about to do and its shady and manipulative.

Oh oh OHHHH yea maybe the 3 of yall should just do it. Yea Jules is definitely polyamorous and Rue is definitely jealous. This is definitely going to end so badly.

Cassie and Lexis mom needs her own episode or im just glad to see more of her.

Awww Kat and she looks so pretty, Maddy is really a good fucking friend. Aw I needed to see these two talk like oh my god. Also lol Kat calling out Maddy for using the R word.

Ugh this is too cute.

Yea this is a terrible idea but leaving Rue was so smart. Terrible idea though.

Ayy a car door rig!

Nate said move bitch I'm not here to see you.

Cal is either going to die 👀 or about to see Derek or kill a bunch of people.

My heart is racing seeing both of these cars speeding like I'm scared. At least Elliot isn't high while driving but this is going to end up terribly.

No Cassie you look like shit and keep crying so obviously Nate working on things with Maddy is hurting her.

Jules is about to be pissed. Yea I saw that coming because Rue is jealous and also high. Rue maybe you should just talk to your girlfriend instead if being stupid and throwing it down the drain. She's going to loose the girl she loves and its going to be her fault.

Wait is this girl about to change because he's coming to the party. God Cassie you dumb bitch. But she is about to ruin Nates entire ego.

Lexi is worried and scared for her sister. Instead of writing it down maybe you should just talk to her? Or tell your mom?

Cal is off his shit at the gay club, bro I think he is going to die and Nate is going to actually be more sad and distraught than he thought he would be.

My nerves are so high and we are only halfway through.

Aw Cassie I need both you and Cal to drink some water. Them sinking this song about being a good person who just wants to be free highkey hurts.

Cal just wants to live the life he never got to with Derek even if its for one night with a stranger. That's so fucking sad.

Nate and Maddy looking at her like that is so sad.

Rue shut up and Jules is so hurt about this. Jules may fuck him to feel less bad about it all but its still going to hurt. Rue is about to do drugs to numb herself again when she could have just said "I'm jealous that I can't fuck you."

Nate knows him staying is a terrible idea.

If Rue takes these percs and dies i will scream.

Ugh my fucking heart this is how she feels but it is also terrifying like peace but its scary.

I know the game Jules is playing right now, she is about to do it with him and it isn't like he hasn't plotted to do this. It sucks but its coping.

Cassie please get the fuck up out the hot tub, you look desperate. Also Maddy yes girl put it together put together the cheating.

GET HIS ASS KAT GET HIS ASS MADDY.

This is so fucking nasty and I wanna hit them both with a pan.

Okay the music coordinator is doing overtime because she, it is a woman ayy, got a Faith Evans song cleared.

Cal is such a sad sad man. Sad in general like he's actually sad, the life he leads is sad, and just everything about him is sad.

The symbolism for him getting shut out of a gay club, he literally got shut out of being his true self because of Marsha. Ouch.

Even if he doesn't die from this I see Cal killing himself in like 5 years.

They're about to get raided? Oh it's dude...oh fuck the mouse situation.

This is too close to how Rue treated her when she met Tyler and "Tyler wasn't who she thought he was." But instead of them being sweet its completely just sexual and avoiding.

Someone did need to tell Jules but I am glad he was at least honest with her. But she's now so hurt by these two people she trusted more than anything. Jules please go check on Rue please. Or just go home because you don't need either of them.

WHERE IS RUE'S MOM!

No Rue No oh im crying and Jules is going to find her. Oh god no, oh God no and she doesn't wanna die. She's so tired oh she's so tired and she just wants the pain to be over.

Yes you are Rue you're the best of em you just are hurting. She really misses her dad so just really misses her dad and I get that. I get that. No love fills that spot. She needs to tell her mom how much she misses him. She needs to hug someone while sober and hug them for a long time. Where is her mom? How did she not hear her come in and Gia can't exactly save her.

Cal is a teenager he's not a man, Marsha is like a mother to him and he is lonely. He is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and entire breakdown.

He's bi and Marsha you're a bitch because she knew and wouldn't just let him leave. How the fuck does Marsha just walk past him like he didn't say or isn't saying any of this.

Everyone does lead a double life.

Nate is an asshole.

Oh cause she is cheating too damnnnn.

Aaron is just as fucked up and sadistic as everyone but at least he's just got a pron addiction. I wonder if he also saw those tapes just like Nate.

Not Cal reading his entire fucking family for filth. He's leaving...oh fuck he may really kill himself or dip. Nate looks like a sad ass child. Nah Cate technically you backed yourself into a corner.

Where is their middle son? We all know there's one but him leaving with the photo is wow. He said this is my shit I built this shit.

Fez, you need a plan.

Jules? Oh she stayed with him cause he didn't lie but she's also fucking him because she is sad. But also Elliot did that on purpose because he wanted Jules for himself.

Kat please break up with Ethan please. Its okay not to love him it is okay to leave. Also it is not good to string him along. 🙃

This image of Cassie crying reminds me of Rodarte this is absolute art. Marcel you are a true genius. But Cassie is on the road to alcoholism just like her mom, everything that's happened thats out of character has been while she's drunk.

Well shit has entirely hit the fam.

Jules is cutting again, oh no. Yea honey I'm going to need you to distance yourself from both of them. No matter how much I love Rules she hurt herself because she thinks that Rue's relapse is entirely her fault. Probably like when she was a kid and thought the same about her mom I'm guessing. She doesn't know that its not and Elliot is probably not going to tell her what Rue. He is manipulating her and she doesn't even know. I just want to hug Jules like

Sigh, wait is Jules about to become the narrator. These two really do love one another but they both need help and not eachother right now.

Also noted Rue didn't narrarate this episode mostly at all. Her voice is gone.

Oh sweetheart your voice is gone. That scares me.

See yall they know what they are doing. This show is visually stunning.

Me and my friends (we do talk backs after the ep) believe that Elliot is sus btw. He gave Rue alcohol and then pointed it out to act like "omg why are you drinking Rue???" Just so her girlfriend would know because you knew Jules would be angry and leave her alone. He's up to no good and knows she wants Rue. We could have had polyamory or a good healthy friendship, but nope non of that. My friend said its a manipulator coming in between a vulnerable drug addict and their partner and how addicts are vulnerable to other people who are ready to manipulate and hurt you for their own.

Edit; I am upset at Jules for her choices in thus situation with Elliot and for just letting Rue leave like that on the highway. Even though I can empathize with both because she's 17 she's a kid as they all are and humans no matter what age make mistakes. I know the whole DND mode move and sneaking around is fucked up from doing that (not cheating really but other stuff). So that game she's playing there is a slippery ass slope and not a good look on her part. Wish Hunter and Zendaya could have just written and stared in a queer perfect love story with its issues but close to perfect though.

Episode 5 preview thoughts:

Elliot wanted a high friend because then her finally had someone he could relate to. Laurie is telling Rue the truth (we know she goes to her). But, everyone is about to go through it. I'm scared like really scared for all my girls. Hoping the best comes for Rue and all the girls. Wishing Ethan the best as well and hope he really smashes his role in Lexi's play about her life.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

CHOOSE

Alexander “Tig” Trager x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: First part of Choose. I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

“So, what about (Y/N) and you?” Bobby asks sipping from his beer.

“What about what?”

“Ar'ya alrede' ‘official’”? Chibs adds while Jax, Juice and Happy leans above the table with a naughty smile drawn on their lips, palming the picnic table and making some noise.

“She's just a groupie, man”.

You can't hear Tig chuckling, because of the sound your heart does by breaking itself is louder.

“A groupie?” Jax's voice sounds confused, raising a blonde eyebrow as the palms stops.

“Yeah, you know. She's not one of those bitches that come here to eat us. But she's not my girl either. We just have fun”.

“You just have fun?” Juice asks incredulous, shaking his head just for a moment.

“Yeah, man! I must say I have eaten a lot of pussies, but, shit! Hers is a fucking delight. And she doesn' have any contagious disease, that's an important plus too”.

“If she was my mom, I would pull out your eyes”. The scratchy voice of Happy appears from nowhere, somewhat disappointed. “And I would eat them”.

“What the fuck?”

“Brother, that girl really lose her shit for you”. Bobby says, because it's something pretty obvious. “And you can say whatever you wan', but you're strained to the bone for that sassy girl”.

Tig's laughs flood the main yard, before drinking his beer.

“Man, you call her when we're ridin'. And her house it's the first stop when you come back”. Juice assures placing his forearms over the table.

“Yea', and you also have clothes in her house, and she in yours”. Jax hit the wood with his knuckles, watching the look on his face trying to hide how right they are.

“Oh! And remember that time (Y/N) told us that Tig brought breakfast at bed”. Ratboy palms Happy chest breaking into laughter, joying the talk, sitting by his side.

“We didn't even know you cook, brother”.

“C'mon, shut up!”

“And tha time ya brought ha' flowers”. Chibs points at Tig with pursed lips joking on him.

“Yeah, that was pretty romantic”. Jax continues with the jokes, making him feel angrier.

“I said she's just a fuckin' groupie. We fuck when I want. That's all”. Trager finishes the conversation, upset of their brothers teasing him about you.

Sitting on the sofa under the closest open window to them, you rest an empty beer on your lap. With your eyes on it and an incessant pain growing in your chest, lash after lash, you don't even know who the fuck are you. Then, the last year has been a lie. All those times he said he loved you, they were a lie. All those times he said he missed you, they were a lie. All those times he said you he didn't want a life without you, they were a lie. Like many others. Yes, he never asked you to be his girlfriend, but you didn't know he had to do it to make it ‘official’. You thought it was implicit in the fact that you really look like a couple. Not like Tara and Jax, but somewhat like. And it's confusing look back and seeing all the shit he did for you and all the shit you did for him, only to hear that your a clean pussy to put his cock in whenever he needs it. No feelings. No compromise. No nothing. Just sex.

You take off the black high-heels, holding them by the strips, leaving away the beer. Getting up and putting on well the dress you bought for him, feeling stupid on one of these garments, you walk barefoot towards the exit door at the end of the hallway' dorms. Your car is parked there. Safe from the Sons' of other subsidiaries and their non expected fights just for fun. The only thing you want to do is drive your way back home and hide in your bed of the shame you're feeling, after listening him talking like that about you with his friends.

“Brother, listen”. Jax sits on the nearest stool at the bar. “I lost Tara for fourteen years, don' commit my mistake”.

Tig has another shot, ripping his throat as he cleans his mouth with the back of the left hand.

“I was fuckin' scared of seeing that I was in love with her. We do all this shit that has our families in a continuous danger, but I don' regret about what I feel for my wife”. He defends the point of view he's trying to make him understand. “She's a good girl and you look focused since you met. Think about it”.

The other man doesn't say anything with the blue eyes placed on some bottles in front of him.

“You ok?” Tara's voice pushes you to reality.

You shake your head somewhat confused, raising your gaze towards her.

“I've been standing there for the last five minutes, without you noticing it”. She chuckles, closing the door behind her back to have a sit at the desk, having a quick look of the medical records on it. “Too much work?”

“I wish… It's been a quiet day and I need to distract myself”.

“It's everything okay? Didn' Tig like the dress?”

By the look on your face, putting away your eyes, Tara knows something isn't going well. You leave a heavy sigh, closing your eyes just to contain a wild tear.

“I'm just a… pussy for him”.

“What the hell…? Don't tell that, (Y/N). Maybe he's not the most romantic man on earth, but he loves you”.

“Yes, that what I thought”. Laughing somewhat bittersweet, you put your arms above the table. “Last night I heard him talking with the guys. Telling them I'm just a groupie to fuck when he needs it”.

The woman snorts resting her back on the chair, rubbing her eyes with both hands.

“The only difference between those... bitches he used to fuck and me, it's that I don't have HIV”.

“Maybe he was dru—”.

“I never heard Jax talk about you, as Tig talked about me, when he's drunk”. You reiterate shrugging your shoulders. “He just… told me all that bullshit about love and a family and a future to suck his cock. And I was so fuckin' stupid that I believed him…”

“I'm sorry, sweetheart”.

“Yeah, I'm too”. You answer getting up and taking off the medical gown to hang it on the coat rack. “I'm done with my meetings. Could you tell Marcia I wasn't feeling okay and I went home?”

“Yes, sure. Don't worry about it”.

All his stuff is already on a plastic bag. His clothes, his motorbike' things for when he travels… Everything. It was painful collect them all, with his smell flooding your room while you were keeping them. Placing it over the table in the kitchen, you sit there just waiting for him to come. You didn't call him, but even if he lied to you, you know something about him. So, when he didn't find you last night, he probably went first to the hospital by morning. And proving that you're right, the roar of his engine comes closer as he reaches your house. Crossing the back door in front of you, he takes off the helmet putting inside it the leather gloves and the sunglasses.

“Your boss told me you weren' feeling ok, what's up?” He asks truly worried, or at least seems like. Leaning forward he tries to kiss you, but you pull away your face without any words.

Now he's confused as fuck, getting up finding the bag on the table. Opening it with his forefinger to have a quick look twisting the neck just for a second, the blue eyes go straight you.

“What's that?”

“Your things. I want you to leave”.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” He demands making some gesture with both hands, as you get up of the chair.

“I'm not the one who lied every time I said ‘I love you’!” You push him away when he tries to take a step next to you, with all the pain concentrated on it.

“The fuck does it means? I didn' fuckin' lie to you”.

“Yeah, that's what you tell me in the meantime you tell your friends I'm just a clean pussy!”

“Who told you about that…?” He snorts cross-armed, supporting his waist against the counter.

“Nobody! I fuckin' hear you, Trager!” You scream totally mad, throwing him the plastic bag. “I just… fuckin' thought that someday you really would want to have a family... Shit, I'm so fucking stupid I feel so sorry for myself…”

“Sunshine, list—”.

“Go fuck yourself!” You push him away again, as he tries to grab your wrists, stirring under his grip. “You're a fucking dickhead!”

“Calm fuckin' down and listen!” He shouts at you for first time since you know him. Your heart stop, as your body does. Not because you're afraid, but because it's enough for you.

“I don' wanna see you anymore… Leave me alone”. You almost beg to him, shutting up some sobs stuck in your throat and your gaze away from the man.

He just nods in silence knowing that you are not going to come to your senses right now. So he grabs his things with anger, before throwing your house's keys on the table. Only when he disappear from the kitchen is when you break in tears. You had too much contained in your heart and you can't help but cry louder than never. Sometimes you have had fantasies about living together, having some free days and getting lost on the road, with nobody close to bother you. Sometimes you also have had fantasize of a kid running through your house calling him “daddy”. But it was just that. A year full of lies and a bunch of fantasies.

“What's that?” Bobby asks behinds the bar lifting up an eyebrow.

Tig throws the bag to the nearest wall, furious with himself and the way he has fucked up. His heart is beating fast, having a sit on a stool and grabbing a bottle of whisky to drink from it. There's no music in the clubhouse, just silence, so his guilty becomes louder of what he said. All those words dancing around him once and again.

“Clothes?” Juice asks taking the bag to open it confused.

“(Y/N) heard me last night”. He answers with his eyes getting reddened, trying to hold in the tears.

“I would have rip off your chest with a knife wetted on vinegar and salt”. Happy says without losing sight of the tip of the pool stick. After hit the white one, he raises his eyes towards him. “Later I would have pissed on you. Be thankful she kept your things in a bag”.

Jax looks at the ex-nomad not knowing why he's surprised about his threats. Walking close to Tig, with both hands inside the pockets, he supports a forearm against the bar.

“Now, what?” The president asks, lifting his chin in a simple gesture.

“Now nothing. I already lost her for being a fuckin' asshole. That's all”.

“Yeah, brotha, ya said fuckin' mean thengs bout ha'”. Chibs palms his back a little bit harder, making him spit the whisky in his mouth.

“Even if we were jokin'... Fuck man…” Jax shakes his head sighing, having a quick look of the Sons' faces. “Wan'me to talk with her?”

“No. I will… try to fix it”. He coughs by clearing his throat after the hit, having another sip.

“One year enduring your bullshit…” Bobby clicks his tongue, leaning above the bar. “I thinks it's fuckin' obvious what you should do, Tiggy”.

“Yes”. Juice, Chibs and Jax said in unison.

“That's the only way to fix it. And if you don' think so, then leave her alone”. In moments like that, Tig sees how much Jax looks like his father, with all those advices and wise words. “She's not a warm pussy, she's a woman who didn' care you're mentally fucked and who didn' care about what you do with the club”.

“I know…”

“Then, choose”. Palming the wooden bar, Jax finishes the conversation as if it was a table-business to Samcro.

[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 5: IT CAN'T BE LIKE THIS FOREVER

Summary: QUEEN AU where Roger Taylor (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swear words here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine.

Chapter 5: Basically Row's and Piper's first day on their own, narrative shifting from normal to Row's inner train of thought.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Throughout his life, Row would regularly look back with infinite fondness and amusement at the first day he spent on his own with his daughter.

But today, as both him and his week old infant cried in each other's ears, he didn't think either of them would make it through another 24 hours, let alone long enough to look back and laugh at it.

He thought he wouldn't get to the end of the parenting book he was with at the moment with his sanity intact.

He had read many books that contradicted each other. And this one was no exception.

Some said to follow a feeding schedule.

Others to do so whenever she'd demanded it.

Some said that bathing was bad for the umbilical cord.

Some others recommend to rub it with alcohol to help it fall early.

And others said not to touch it. To simply leave it alone.

Then there was Callie and her usual phrase echoing on his head "The best thing is to follow your instincts".

But that didn't help a damn either cause his instinct was messed up.

He had also read somewhere that sharing bed was good at the beginning. That it helped preventing SIDS.

Then on the next book, that sharing room was fine at first, but that bed was a risk factor in SIDS.

But hold on.

What the hell was SIDS?

They mentioned it everywhere. He went through all the pages until he found it, only to be left breathless when finding out what what it stood for:

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Whose exact cause was still unknown , and although there were some preventive stuff to do -on which, by the way, all the bloody books differed- there was nothing 100% safe.

So, they meant his little Piper could just fucking die for no goddamn reason, and he wouldn't be able to do nothing about it? What the fuck! It wasn't fair!

So he found himself on the phone, dialing the number he always recurred to in times of trouble.

"I think I broke her, mom" he said as soon as he heard her pick up.

"You can't break a person, Row"

"Well, there's a first time for everything."

"Don't be overdramatic. You didn't expect it to be easy, did ya? Or you thought she was gonna be like a doll, huh? Like those that have a switch for when you get tired of playing house?"

"No but I didn't think... I mean she was much quieter in the hospital."

"Well, darling, she must have sensed the move or something."

"You mean she doesn't like my place?"

"No, you silly. Although there's room for improvement in the style... But that's not the point. She just needs time to get used to it. Also I bet she can sense your unease."

"Uh?"

"Babies have this sixth sense when it comes to the emotions of those around them. Specially mother's... Or well, in this case, you. So if she senses you're frustrated, she'll get more distressed."

"Oh." was all he could say.

"Where is she now?"

"She's right..." He looked down at the bundle he had been holding and rocking only to realize it was a bunch of dirty clothes.

Where was she? Had he lost his daughter after 5 hours? Fuck! Fucking idiot

For a moment, he forgot where he had put her and a million terrifying thoughts flashed on his head.

She wasn't crying at the moment.

And that was good.

Right?

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was the worst thing.

Maybe one of the pillows on the sofa had fallen over her and suffocated her.

Or maybe he had mistaken her for a dirty bundle of clothes and put her in the laundry and...

"Rowan?"

"She's asleep on the bed." He suddenly remembered, peering at his bedroom to check he was right. He was. She was asleep, right in the middle of the mattress, exactly where he had placed her 10 minutes earlier.

"Then take this chance and sleep. You're good at sleeping."

It was definitely a good idea. So he hung up and tiptoed to the bedroom. He reached the bed and froze, trying to think of a way of climbing in without startling her awake.

Maybe the matress sinking at his weight woke her up. And if he got past that, perhaps if he dared to move or rolled in his sleep, he'd wake her up... Or worst; he had heard about the hundreds of kids that died overnight suffocated by their parents.

No. He decided he couldn't sleep with her.

So he got the bunch of dirty clothes and laid on the floor besides the bed, using the bundle as a pillow. He fell right off to sleep.

He woke up four hours later, and the room was still silent.

Shouldn't she need something? Shouldn't she have woken me up?

Once again, a feeling of fear invaded him as he jumped to his feet, and put a small mirror in front of her nose to make sure she was still breathing.

She was.

He sighed with relief and pecked her forehead before tiptoeing out.

He decided to make a sandwich or something, cause his stomach was roaring. Halfway through eating it, he ran his eyes through the parenting book he had left opened on the counter:

<<If your baby sleeps 4 straight hours or more wake them up for a feed; otherwise they could become dihydrated...>>

Fuck. She had been dozing for 4 hours and 20 minutes.

So he hurried into the bedroom, and leaned over the tiny bundle, a smile escaping his lips. She did know how to sleep after all. And she looked like an angel. So peaceful. Calm. It almost hurt him to disturb her. But he had to.

"Hey lil'raisin. C'mon, it's snack time" he said, gently lifting her up. "Hey, lovie. Wake up" he knew one thing he shouldn't do under any circumstances: shake her. Or make harsh movements. As that would lead to Major Danger #2:

Shaken Baby Syndrome. And that was under his control.

So he blew on her cheek instead and got her to open her eyes "Hey, Sleeping Gorgeous" he greeted, holding her up so they were face to face.

She looked up at him, directly into his eyes and something inside him melted.  

Perhaps she had finally settled. Maybe now they were both fresh and rested she'd go easy on him. He could do this.

But then her face scrunched up and she whined.

"Oh no, no, no, baby, what is it? Don't cry. Don't cry. C'mon." Then he felt a warm liquid on his hand. "Okay, okay, message received. Let's do this"

He got a towel and unswaddled her, hoping he'd be able to remember how it was done afterwards and praying for it only being number one. It was, but he hadn't folded the nappy correctly and it had leaked all over the onesie, the blanket and... His duvet.  Goddamn it.

He sighed. If he kept calm, she'd sense it. "Okay, me darl. Shh. Hold on a second.  Where... Where've I left the nappies? Where?" He looked around the room but no sight of the pack. Shit. Last time he had changed her in the living room? So it had to be there. "Okay, hang on a minute sweets. I'll be right back" he ran out to get the pack, as the wailing got louder.

"Alright. Alright. I've got it, I've got it. I'm here. Hush" he managed to do it surprisingly fast and without new incidents. "Alright, alright. Almost done. C'mere." He lifted her up, checking the nappy was properly sealed, and went to the kitchen area where he had left the last clean onesie.

On his way, he found the pinky he had been looking for earlier as well "Hey look at this. Here it was." he washed it with water and put it in her open mouth. She began to suck instinctively, calming down.

Thank. Fucking. Goodness.

He sighed in relief.

He could do this.

He laid her down in the kitchen counter, so he could wash his hands, throw his wee stained t-shirt to the washer and unfold the onesie. She squirmed a little, but kept quiet.

"Alright, let's put this on you. Please don't squirm too much, darling. I don't want to hurt you." he pleaded.

"Okay, it's all done" he announced 10 minutes later, when he finally managed to button up all the miniscule buttons on the onesie. Bloody miniscule buttons made for small mothers' hands.

"What's next? Oh yes, bottle. Alright. Coming right up"

Just when he had put the bottle to warm up, she spit the pinky, and began fussing. "Hey, love , here" he put it back, but she spit again. "You ain't buying it, are you? You're hungry, and the pinky isn't fooling you." He chuckled "Clever girl. Alright, it's almost done so don't worry, okay? It's almost there" he took her back into his arms, and paced around until the microwave beeped.

He made a mental note to never again waking her up before the bottle was done.

Never again.

"Okay Princess. Here's your cocktail, made with love." he announced, as he carried her to the couch and sat down, propping her up and watching as she immediately sucked into the nipple, face relaxing instantly.

"Yea, you were hungry right? That's what happens when you sleep through lunch time. I hope you've learned your lesson, and that next time, you let me know alright?" He grinned, as a hand closed around his hair.

But she suddenly pulled away from the nipple and began to  fuss again, halfway through the bottle "What? That's all? You're done? So much impatience for half a bottle? No, you've gotta keep going. C'mon" he offered the nipple, and she rejected it, hand pulling his hair

"Ow! Ow! Pips, no honey. Let go. C'mon. C'mon dear, let go." he set the bottle aside and used his free hand to untangle hers from his hair. She cried louder. "Hey, okay, okay, you can pull my hair off if you keep quiet. Uh? Deal?" He got more cries in response. His face fell.

"But you never did this in hospital. You didn't give Daddy hell like this. Why now? Why do you do this when I'm all alone? Am I such a bad dad? I mean I'm following every step. I'm doing my best. Please give me a break" he pleaded, changing her to an upright position.

He was doing nothing wrong, was he? He was doing everything just like he had been taught in hospital.

Well except maybe...

He had an idea and laid her on the couch "Alright, shhh. Let's try this one" he said, unbuttoning her onesie again, -making a mental note to ask Len if he could get him some bigger ones that wouldn't take forever to deal with- and bringing her back to his chest. She instinctively snuggled up, and quieted within seconds at the contact of both their skins.

And he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. "So you just wanted this? Well you should've said so earlier." He did both, out of amusement and relief.

Fuck he had cried more these past 7 hours than in the entire last decade. It was ridiculous, really. That someone so little could have such a big effect on him.

"So, where were we hon?" He offered the bottle and this time she did latch, body glued to his, and grey piercing eyes looking right through him, as if she was staring at his soul, as if she was reminding him why he was doing all this. And all the  worries that had crowed him until that moment, just disappeared.

I can do this.

He didn't detach her from his chest for the rest of the day, as that seemed to keep her at peace and he didn't mind it. Rather enjoyed it.

So he changed his peed sheets and threw the nappy away, made himself some coffee and broke the mug in the process, as he struggled to do the whole thing with one hand. Then he had to pick it up and cut himself off with one of the shattered pieces.  However, he didn't mind: it was worth it as long as she remained undisturbed.

"Are you two better?" Mom asked when she called in the evening.

"Yes, yes. We're... We're alright. Got the ultimate trick. I think we came to an understanding."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Where is she, by the way?"

"Right here." he pressed his lips on the top of her head, rested on his shoulder.

"Has she eaten properly?'

"Aye. Then spat some of it on me and... Yea. I think she's good." she had finished both bottles fairly quickly.

"And you? How are you eating?"

"Managed to eat half a sandwich. So not too bad."

"Finish it."

"I'm fine, mother."

"Row by neglecting yourself you're putting her in danger too. So eat properly and stay sane for the sake of you both, okay?"

He sighed. "Alright. I'll finish the stupid sandwich."

"And eat some food or whatever. Vitamins."

"Shit, this is like being 10 again."

They hung up and Row did as told, in spite of himself. Mom had a point.

So he finished the sandwich and grabbed an apple, eating it in bites, chewing it slowly and as silently as possible so he wouldn't disturb his daughter.

Damn it was cold. He'd have to turn the heat on, which he never did cause the bill afterwards was terrifying. But hell, both of them were half naked in February. And he had already spent a fortune on that prune sized person, might as well keep her alive and warm.

Then he laid down with her cuddled on his bare chest as she breathed in uneven, scary patterns, which Callie had told him were normal.

And soon, he found they were breathing in sync, every breath he took was three of hers. Or 5. Or none.

But it was normal, he reminded himself. Her breathing system has to develop still. She's fine.

He was exhausted, but completely wakeful at the same time, cause he was hypnotized by the sight of his little sleeping prune.

Like he would be countless nights in the future.

Because there was no better remedy for panic, no better way to put his thoughts in order and make him feel the strongest, happiest man on Earth than the sight of his daughter sleeping.

🥁🥁🥁🥁

As always, a big Heya to my only reader friend, @definitely-darcy. As you know I'm nervous about this chapter, but I enjoyed writing it a lot. So I hope you like It.

Xx ~Pookie

[gamegrumpiess]

Don't Forget About Me PART ONE?

Its been a fucken minute. I've been working a lot really. Trying to get my place together since I moved and what not. I have free time again! So here you go. Also! If you want me to continue this, let me know!

Dan x Reader

Warnings? Might be a bit sad, but nothing worth crying over.

You can request some shit!

(y/m/n) - your mom's name

(y/l/n) - your last name

(h/t)- home town

~~~~~~~

~1992~

Young Danny's POV

"Dan! Dinners ready!" My mom yells from downstairs. "I'll be right there!" I pause my game and make my way down. It's been freezing in my room lately, New Jersey winter really taking a toll on our house. The heater isn't installed yet, though I wish it was. I only have so many blankets.

"Dana, Leigh, there's new neighbors across the street. They've been here for about a week, I met the woman and her fiance last night, but her kids weren't home. I think it'd be a good idea to welcome them all. After dinner we'll all go down together. Is that a good idea?" My mom and dad have always been really nice like that. I feel wave of anxiety rush over me, it's not that I don't want to meet them, I just feel weird going to their house just to introduce ourselves. Dana nods her head and goes back to eating her soup, so content with her life. I'm not looking forward to this...

After we all finish eating, my mother tells us to get ready and look decent for the neighbors. What would 'decent' be? A regular shirt with jeans? I'll be in my jacket so I guess it really doesn't matter. After I get myself together, I walk downstairs to see Mom and Dad waiting for me and Dana. "Alright, let's go guys!" Dana comes out of her room dressed and ready as well. "I'm ready!" She yells with her childish voice. At least she's excited, because I'm not.

*ding ding dong ding*

A woman opens the door with a smile. "Oh, hello Debbie! What brings you here?" My mom smiles back at the woman, "I thought we could all come welcome you to the neighborhood!" The woman looks shocked a bit before she opens the door wide and invited us all in. "So this is my husband, call him Avi, my daughter Dana, and my son Leigh. He likes to be called Daniel, though." The woman smiles and shakes my dad's hand and mine. Dana has gotten a little bit shy, so the woman kneels down to her height. "Hi Dana, I'm (y/m/n). I work with kids your age all the time! You know, we have a pet turtle, his name is Cheesy. Would you like to meet him?" Dana's eyes light up at what (y/m/n) said. She nods her head frantically as the woman points to a glass talk with rocks and a little bit of water. "He's right there. Go ahead and talk to him!" As Dana runs to look at, what I assume is Cheesy, the woman turns back to us. "My fiance is at work right now. But my daughter and son are here. Y/N!" (Y/m/n) yells upstairs. "I'm coming!!" A little voice yells back. A girl came downstairs into view. She looks my age, but I haven't seen her at school, is she new? "This is my daughter, y/n. My younger son, Jacob is taking a nap in his room. Shes been working on her room all day." My mom smiles at y/n, "hey y/n! How old are you? Do you go to school here yet?" Y/n looks down, clearly a little shy. "I'm 12 years old... I don't go to school yet here, I'm new, I kind of don't want to." She states truthfully. She's only a year younger than me, but she seems very mature for a 12 year old. Then again, I'm kind of mature for a 13 year old.

As time goes on, y/n and her mom start breaking out of their she'll a little bit. Ms (y/l/n) says they just moved here from (h/t), she left her husband a while back and met a man who lived here. So I guess the man who lives here now isn't y/n's and Jacob's actual dad. Something about that is really sad to me, I have both of my parents. I can't really imagine what it's like to only have one in your life. "Is y/n going to go to the same school as Leigh?" I knew that question would come up. And turns out, yes she will. I'm not really complaining. At least she'll have one person she knows. I'm not entirely popular at all, but at least she won't be alone. Y/n looks at me and smiles. She really does have a sweet smile.

~later that night~

"Debbie, she's out there again! Poor kid, I hope she's okay." My dad calls out to my mom. "She's out there almost every night. Do you think she's okay?" I get curious and look at the time. 10:18 pm. Who would be out this late? Sure, it's a Saturday, but it's so cold outside this time. It's probably going to snow soon. I walk out to my mom and dad to see what's going on. "Who's outside?" Mom points out the window and I look out to see a figure sitting in the empty driveway across the street. "Almost every night, y/n just sits on the cold driveway. Her mom works graveyard shifts a lot. I wouldn't doubt it if she's home alone, poor thing." My mom puts her hand over her heart and looks down, her motherly instincts kicking in. "Leigh, could you please go out there and see if she's okay? She's always out there for hours at a time." I comply to what my mom says, mostly because I don't want to disappoint her by saying no. Also, I'm a little curious as well as to why she's out in the cold so late.

Y/n POV

Space is so cool. I've loved the stars and planets since I was a baby. On the nights when my mom is working, Jacob stays with my stepdad at his place. He's only 5, I get it. At this point I'm used to being alone. It's not a bad thing. I like it. When I was younger my dad would always leave me by myself so he could work. I was old enough to take care of myself though, little 7 year old me. I would do this back then as well. Sit outside and look at the sky. Even on days when the sky would be covered by clouds, I'd still stare In wonder above.

I hear a door close across the street and a skinny boy huddled up in jackets walk out of it. I hope he's not coming here, I'm not good with boys one on one. They make me feel awkward. Plus, he's a good looking boy. That makes it way worse. "Y/n, right?" He's standing right above me. I smile slightly, "Yeah, that's right. Aren't you cold?" He's very skinny, probably doesn't have body heat of his own like me. Im on the thicker side of the wall when it comes to looks. I'll probably always will be, but that okay. "Yes I'm freezing. But I saw you out here and I thought I should ask if you're okay."

I look up at him, "I'm okay. I just like looking at the stars. I'd rather be out here looking at the sky than in a quiet house." I tell him truthfully. "Are you home alone?" I nod and smile. "Yea, my mom works at the children's hospital and my little brother is with my stepdad at his house. I dont go because my stepsisters don't really like me. Which is fine, I don't really like them either." He sits down by me, criss crossed and hands in his pockets. "Are you okay on your own, though? My mom is worried too." His mom? Why would she be worried about me? I guess I am out here a lot. "Tell your mom im fine, and thank you for worrying. I appreciate that." He looks back to his house and then to me again. "Do you want me to sit here with you for a bit?" I smile again, "Sure. Just don't get frostbite in my driveway." He laughs and I join in as well.

~1997~

Y/n POV

I've known Dan for almost 6 years now. Since that night he'd be sitting on my driveway with me any chance we could. He's grown up a lot, but so have I. I'm proud of him, really. He just graduated high school, the only thing is, he's leaving for college. I still have 12th grade left. It sucks, my best friend is leaving. In the 6 years I've known him, I've grown to have a massive crush on him. He's gotten a lot taller, his hair has grown more, he's just this tall silly nerd. I'm not one for cliche cheesiness... But I really do love him. The times hes had girlfriends, it's been pretty painful. There's been more than a few nights when I'm on the driveway alone, or I'd have to eat lunch with Joe and Dylan alone because he'd be out with his girlfriend at that time. I'd be in pain, but I would never let it get to me. If he's had other girlfriends, it's clear he doesn't like me like that. And that's fine, I'm okay with just being his friend. As long as he's in my life at all I'm okay.

But he's leaving.

Dan's POV

My last night here in New Jersey is tonight. The flight for Boston leaves tomorrow morning, early as hell too. I'd have to go to bed soon if I really want to catch it. My room looks so empty... All my memories of growing up are in this exact house. I went to go see Ms (y/l/n) earlier today and say goodbye before she went to work, even said bye to Jacob. Y/n wasn't there, (y/m/n) said she was at band practice. I told her not to worry, I'll probably see y/n tonight since I usually sit with her in her driveway at night. Luckily, it's not cold anymore. Summer weather keeping me cool enough to not wear shorts, though. I walk out and see y/n sitting where she usually sits. Except now with a cat in he shirt to keep the cat warm in the cool weather. She looks up at me and waves, and I can't help but smile a little and wave back before starting to walk over.

If I had a choice, I'd take her with me. She's my best friend, I don't want to leave her alone. Joe and Dylan are leaving as well, she'll be alone at school and she'd have no one to sit with at night in her driveway. 6 years spent with her, and I wouldn't want to change it for the world. She's a really good friend.

"Hey.." she says, careful not to wake the cat in her lap. "Hey, I'm leaving tomorrow morning.. I wanted to come say bye to the cat." I say jokingly. She rolls her eyes and nudges my leg as I sit beside her. "Shut up, Dan. I can't believe it, you're going to college." I can't help but agree. I shake out my hair a little bit. "Yup. I really want to be a musician, but my dad said hed pay for my college if I go into advertising. I really don't want to, but I cant pay for myself on my own." She pets the cat again and shrugs. "Soon enough, you will be a musician. You'll have thousands of fans, be on stage rocking out like you've always wanted. You'll have people recognize you in the street wanting a picture and an autograph. You'll be so successful, as long as you put your passion in it." I can't help but smile at her. That is my dream, always has been. "It's gonna be weird without you guys. Senior year... I have one more year before I leave too," she looks at the sky again. "It's kinda scary. I won't be a kid anymore. Growing up in general is scary." I grab her shoulder and look in her eyes. "Hey don't talk like that. You're gonna be a great voice actress like you've always wanted to be. You might even become a singer too. You have to put passion in it too. You'll be in all your favorite anime shows, and video games. You can do it too. Don't forget that." She looks down and nods. "I will. Hey promise me something though." I look at her and encourage her to go on. "Don't forget about me. I know you're gonna grow up and find all the success in the world, just don't forget about this time in your life. Our friendship, who you are. Don't forget, please." I give her a sad smile and lean in to hug her. "I could never forget about you. You're one of my best friends. Don't worry. I'll keep in touch as much as possible, I promise." She smiles and hugs back. I start to walk back to the house when I hear her call my name again, "Dan!......." I turn back to her and she looks down before looking back up to me. "Be safe out there." She stares at me and I nod. "You too, y/n.."

To be continued?~