#my mom is def the worst off but hers are unrelated to ours
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On one hand it's nice not to be the only one suffering, but on the other hand it's hard not to feel angry about having to watch your loved ones also suffering needlessly without being able to do anything. But then yet again having grown up with a homebound disabled mom definitely played a huge role in being able to recognize that the fault lies not with me re: disability and discrimination, which has helped with dealing with bureaucracy throughout the years.
#sharan talks#my sister and i both inherited shit from dads side though#even if he thinks hes fine. which sure hes much better off than us#but this is also the dude who got a normal shoulder from cold shoulder#due to being hypermobile before LMAO#but he refuses to acknowledge his very obvious neurodivergence too so#but yeah sister and i def inherited the genetic physical stuff from his side#my sister is better off than me especially in the pain department#but still very much not normal nor Good by any decent standards#my mom is def the worst off but hers are unrelated to ours#either way it sucks because i cant help mom to the extent i want because we're both so limited#so it falls to sister or dad who are doing not great either just less worse#and dad especially is noticing his aging now#so does my other dad and hes even older#we're very effective when we all work together especially both dads#but yeah its hard to not worry about the future really#because at some point mom dad and dad wont be here#and i hate to think about that but like#i dread the reality of being able to care for them the way i want to#and navigating the world without them#tbh being disabled both physically and mentally does weird shit to your age#like in some areas i feel way younger than i should#due to the lack of access to true independence#and knowing i'll always ultimately remain under others mercy#and in some ways you feel really old and waiting for orhers to catch up#in figuring out the joys of not working yourself to death#its a weird sense of anachronism but with ones own personhood and it going in two directions#im rambling this has nothung to do with anything#rough days depression hit hard advdaxcsxfs#i had to cancel smth i really looked forward to today and it sucks but as always what can you do
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all the even numbers yo
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yeeees omg it is snowing here rn and we just went outside and i love it i love it i looooove feeling cold but only on a lil bit of my body i hate it when im all over cold4: how do you take your coffee/tea? black and strong, no tea thanks6: do you keep plants? yes, i have one money plant and it’s now named sophie courtesy of delani8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? screaming into the void (cross stitch)10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? stomach unless i’m with someone else and then probs side12: what's your favorite planet? uranus duh jk mars is bright tonight14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? so my best friend has a flat in london and it’s gorgeous and i would like to live there tbh, its just full of things that make us happy like harry potter wands and two tvs so you can play xbox together on two screens and things from travels around the world and a piano and i just love it16: what's your favorite pasta dish? a no pasta dish 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. the time i fainted at may’s nephews graduation and got an ambulance called they’re never gonna let me live that shit down20: what's your favorite eye color? idon’t rly have a favourite but i like when you’re looking at someones eyes and they’re smiling back at u22: are you a morning person? yes! i like to get up early and curl up with a coffee and a book on a day off or when i have work i get up early to walk buddy or meg and then watch neighbours while i eat my breakfast 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? i literally talk to my dad about eveyrthing, also dan, my mum and my sisters i never keep secrets from26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my flowery docs!28: sunrise or sunset? oOOoOOh both?? okay gun to my head sunrise over a lake is the most beautiful thing 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. when we were at uni dan and i used to call each other in the middle of the night if we were walking home drunk and we just used to talk and talk about anything and everything until the drunk one was sober enough to sleep34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? a bunny called bunny that i got when i was born (okay well actually its a replacement cos i lost the original in a service station in france on the way to disney when i was 2) but i still have it and it’s gross because i used to fall asleep by chewing on her ears and holding her tight around the neck so she looks awful but she’s still my bunny 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? sugarland38: tell us about your pet peeves! idk i don’t like it when people ignore me40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? i have a wolf necklace that mg bought me for secret santa one year its gorgeous and i love necklaces and most of mine are anchors or giraffes but the wolf one is so amazing and so me and i love it42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbs dude im easy44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? laying on the sofa in my snug on dec 27th 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i cannot think of a single pun i suck48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being abandoned and yep probs50: what's an odd thing you collect? HAHAH i collect SO MANY THINGS i have a collection pROBLEM okay i collect hurricane hard rock glasses, and i collect US quarters and i collect those special cups you can buy at the cinema sometimes and mugs from places i love and i have a p good pop funko collection and a hELLUVA lot of DVDS just idk if you can buy a ~collectors thing i probably will im a sucker for advertisement52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? its been like a week but omg the hollywood sign one
54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my sister when she just watched derek die on grey’s56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they ramble on about something thye love, when people are so passionate you can feel it radiating off them, when someone tries their best to make you smile when you’re upset, when people pat dogs 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? marygrace is the vodka aunt im probs the wine mom 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yeah but i don’t read a whole lot of it, idk i like simple stuff 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? eh not rly sometimes apple or cranberry but not often i just drink coffee64: what color is the sky where you are right now? WHITE cos SNOW66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? any flower crown is an ideal flower crown68: what's winter like where you live? coldish, and grey v grey but i like the feeling of the cold mist snaking around you and seeing your breath when you’re walking and wearing a hat to keep ur lil ears warm!! sometimes it snows and ilove that70: have you ever used a ouija board? lmao no but i would LOVE to72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? at work i keep so many notes about eveyrthing but i have a p photographic memory so i don’t rly need to its just so i can make sure stuff is organised and so i can show that i’ve listened to what people want74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. loud and passionate and so caring, finds an unrelenting joy in the most unexpected of things and is so strong and honest and proud. hates zombie culture. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? nope! 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? love a good minion80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? they’re cream bc my sisters and i used to switch around a lot so we all got them painted the same so it didn’t matter and we could stick up whatever we wanted to make it our own space. i did have a jungle room at one point and the walls were orange that was cool and in my hp room i had one RED wall for gryffindor that was awesome82: are/were you good in school? english, particularly lit, history, food tech, film, maths but i Hated that uuuh i was a good student - not a great one bc i was lazy and dumb in school and didn’t study like i should have done but i did p well 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? yessss i want an anchor on my ankle and expecto patronum on my wrist and delta lyrics on my ribs and also ‘faith, trust & pixie dust’86: do you like concept albums? which ones? what88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? impressionists90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. chicago is one of the best cities i have ever been too and i’m so lucky to have lived so close for a year it’s just so vibrant and full of life but not ~super busy so you feel crushed and rushed all the time and i rly loved it bUT also shoutout to brisbane which was a huge surprise how much i loved it and i explored it on a segway which was incredible and obvs sydney owns my lil heart and i wanna stare at the opera house forever92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i hate pasta94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? jesus96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? ha remind me tomorrow pls98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? in the blue mountains in aus! yeah i love to hike except im not a fan of hills, whenever i hike with dan he gets me to explain the plots of tv shows to him to distract me he’s the best100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? def the future bc i have some great memories of the past 5 years and i wouldn’t be who i am today without them but i do not want to go back and relive them thanks
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