#my manic energy has almost completely subsided but I'm trying so damn hard not to slip into depression
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in less than 48 hours I get to stab myself in the leg. hopefully this will result in something positive
#mine#lem has a body#lmao love how fast I switched from no painkillers to maximum dosage every fucking day 🤪#in other news household toxicity is ramping up again thanks to mum and like Just before the migraine hit I decided to get out Right Now#strategically staying in mum's good graces until I've locked down an apartment bc lol I still need transportation#like yeah grandpa would be willing to drive me but I still get panic attacks being in the same room as him#so mum it is. she was v excited to help me and then only somewhat deflated when I clarified I wanted her help touring. not looking online.#we were supposed to check out some rentals last weekend but we both got fucking nerfed by the storm#my manic energy has almost completely subsided but I'm trying so damn hard not to slip into depression#it's not going well. but maybe that's just the pain talking#focusing on apartments rn is providing some comfort#the logistics of setting up during the winter/spring storms is scary but I genuinely don't know if I can hold out for summer#which is its own hell for my porphyria but at least my bones would work#my cautious timeline rn is taxes > promotion(?) > moving > barbie movie#which covers quite a few months ik but genuinely I can only manage MAYBE one task a month#I just realised I didn't include my own birthday in the timeline lol
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