#my man was in this moment realising he's gonna cheat and i get it

[ikjun]

Done. Finished. Good job.

WHEN THE STARS GOSSIP (2025) 별들에게 물어봐 dir. Park Shin-Woo

[kooggukk]

sinful taste | jjk

summary. things get out of hand when you meet with your ex at a party.

pairing: cheater!jk x reader

contains: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, handjob, drunk sex, car sex, no happy ending ;(

word count: 3.1k

the party hummed with energy, music thumping through the packed space as people flowed in and out of the kitchen, joining more young adults in the living room and backyard, laughing and talking. totally unaware of a pair of eyes watching you the whole night, you enjoyed your time with your friends.

you stood at the doorframe of the kitchen, your arms crossed over your chest as you watched your best friend hit on a guy. she was showing you how a pro actually does it — because looks like you suck at it and she hinted at your ex boyfriend, who was a cheater.

you saw her twirling her hair and blinking with her long fake eyelashes, a chuckle left your lips. no way you were gonna do something like that on a man.

your eyes suddenly dropped to someone behind her, you hadn’t expected to see him here. after everything that had happened between you two, you had sworn you’d moved on. but the second your eyes met his, everything you’d been holding in — the hurt, the anger, the longing — came rushing back.

he wasn’t supposed to look at you like that. not after what he’d done. not after he shattered your trust, broke your heart, and left you to pick up the pieces. yet there he was, standing in the dimly lit corner, his eyes tracing your every move, filled with that same intensity that had once made you fall for him.

you knew better now. you knew that behind that look was a mess of lies, secrets, and betrayal.

how could you forget all that happened when he was fucking someone else in your house, on your goddamn couch.

not being able to stay in the same room as him, the air felt thick and filled with tension. you walked out, in front of the house where not many people were.

you sat down on the stairs that led to the porch, you knew he was behind you. “can we talk?” his voice was low, almost pleading as he sat down next to you, a beer in his hand.

god, you haven’t talked to him in like, 2 months. not ever since you kicked him out of your house, along with the girl he was balls deep in.

you shrugged, you left because you in fact did not want to talk, but he’s selfish. even if you said no, he will talk.

“i know i messed up,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “i didn’t mean to d—“

“you cheated, jungkook.” your harsh voice interrupted him, his brows crashed together at that.

his eyes darkened, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. he ran a hand through his raven hair, frustration clear in his posture.

“why won’t you just fucking let me speak?” he asked and he took a sip of his beer, you scoffed at his words.

“cause you fucked a whore on my couch, jerk.” his jaw clenched at your tone, he suddenly threw the bottle of beer away, anger flooding through his body.

you watched him with surprised eyes when he stood up and turned around to leave, without glancing back at you and saying a word.

your heart clenched at that once more, maybe you were harsh, yes. but he deserved it, after all the shit he put you through.

the night went on, you saw him a few times with his friends. you tried your best to ignore him, you put all your attention to your best friend. you told her what happened, and she hasn’t left your side since then.

you stumbled out of the house to get some air, struggling to keep your balance after a few too many drinks.

someone walked past you with the same struggling, almost pushing you over. a few mumbled cuss words left his mouth.

your eyes squinted, jungkook drunkly leaning on his car. “kook?” you called out to him when you walked over.

he struggled to open his car door, your eyes widened in realisation. “you don’t wanna drive, do you?” you said, your voice shaky.

he scoffed and finally opened his door. “why does that matter to you?” he spit the words out, hurt was obvious in his voice.

you stood there, staring at him. he was right, why do you care? he’s your asshole ex boyfriend, you’re supposed to not give a damn and encourage him to just go.

but you care. maybe a bit too much. “i’m just gonna lay in the back seat.” he sighed and plopped down, his head hitting the leather seat. the world was spinning with him, he was wasted.

you sat down on the other side of the backseat, the car’s silence was much quieter than the blasting music inside the house.

your eyes locked on his figure, head thrown back and eyes closed. you swallowed, your vision dropped to his jawline, sharper than ever.

you knew you should be angry at him for cheating on you, but you couldn't deny the attraction you still felt towards him. you quickly looked away as you noticed you were checking him out.

“why are you here?” his husky voice suddenly broke the silence in the car. you turned to look at him, brows furrowed.

you don’t know. you want to leave, so bad. but there was a time when it was only him and you. when you were in love. he was somebody in your life and even if you wanted to, you can’t watch him destroy himself tonight like that. what if something happens?

“do you not want me here?” he chuckled and shook his head. “you don’t answer to a question with a question, babe.”

you swallowed hard, trying to ignore the rush of emotions that hit you all at once. that nickname had once been so familiar, a sweet whisper on his lips when everything between you was easy.

now, it felt like a jolt to your chest, a reminder of what you’d both lost, yet still lingered between you.

“i missed you,” he suddenly confessed, his voice soft, almost vulnerable. “i’ve been thinking about you,” he sadly smiled.

“every day.” he finished his sentence, your heart felt heavy. he missed you? fucking asshole, he messed this up.

you wanted to say something, anything, but your throat tightened.

you felt his hand rest on your knee, it sent a shiver down your spine. you looked at him again, his eyes already locked on you.

you stared down at his hand on your knee, his touch burning through the fabric of your jeans. your body betrayed you, that familiar warmth creeping through you despite everything he had done.

you should pull away, you should tell him to get out of the car, out of your life, once and for all. but you didn’t move.

you closed your eyes, trying to steady yourself, but when you opened them, he was still there — his hand on your knee, his eyes full of regret and hope.

and despite everything, you couldn’t deny the pull between you, the unspoken connection that still lingered even after all the pain.

your heart pounded in your chest, torn between the past and the present, between anger and desire. and as his lips hovered near yours, you knew this was a choice only you could make.

your heart screamed at you to pull away, to leave before you let him in again, before you gave him another chance to break you. but your body leaned in, caught between the pain of the past and the heat of the present.

his fingers slid higher, resting on your thigh, his touch firm but tentative, as if he wasn’t sure you’d let him stay. you swallowed hard, every nerve in your body on high alert.

his eyes flickered with something raw and desperate, and he stayed still for a moment, searching your face for any sign of what you really wanted.

then, slowly, he closed the distance, his lips brushing yours in the softest kiss, hesitant, like he was giving you the chance to stop him.

the second his lips met yours, something inside you broke free. all the frustration, all the hurt, all the desire you’d been pushing down for months surged to the surface, and you kissed him back, hard, pulling him closer like he was the only thing that could keep you stable.

his hand tightened on your thigh, the other slipping around your waist, pulling you closer to him as if he was terrified you’d slip away.

the kiss was urgent, full of the need that had been building up between you for so long. you could taste the alcohol on his lips, but it didn’t matter.

jungkook groaned softly against your mouth, the sound sending a rush of heat through you. his hand slid up your side, he deepened the kiss, his body pressing into yours.

you gasped against his lips, your hands gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, needing more.

his hand now rested on your stomach, caressing you softly before he sneaked his hand under your blouse, the skin to skin contact made your skin burn.

he slipped his hand under the top of your jeans, your pantie touching the tip of his fingers. he felt the little bow resting on top of it, a smile crept onto his lips as he kissed you.

he then suddenly moved his hand back up, sliding up your stomach. he didn’t stop until your covered left breast was in his palms, slowly massaging it.

you gasped at his touch, he slipped his tongue in your mouth as he explored it. your tongues fighting, sucking and kissing it.

he pulled away while he slightly bit onto your lower lip, pulling it with him. you whined, touching your lip as he let go of it.

“ow,” he smiled and gave it a short kiss again. “sorry,” he whispered, his head lowered to your neck.

he kissed and nibbled on the sensitive spot, your head tilted to give him better access to it, better access to claim you.

he pulled away only to pull your blouse over your head, his head falling to the top of your breasts instantly, leaving wet kisses on them.

without a word, you reached behind to unclasp your bra, the straps falling down your shoulders.

“hi beautiful,” he said when he was met with your bare breasts, “missed me?” he asked with his eyes locked on yours. his mouth found one of your nipple, twirling his tongue around it.

he watched your expression, your mouth slightly agape at the feeling. he tugged on your jeans, you understood him in an instant.

you moved your hips only to pull them down, his hand found it’s way to your clothed heat, softly palming you.

“wet already?” he asked when he switched to your other nipple, giving it the same attention.

you cursed at him with a low voice, your hand reached to his crotch.

“hard already?” you fought back, a chuckle left his mouth when he pulled away. “yeah, couldn’t help it. you’re damn hot.” he grinned at you.

before you could reply to him, his hand slipped under your pantie, his fingers played with your bare clit. a low moan left your lips at the familiar feeling, it’s been long since you’ve had sex — or touched yourself. not since you broke up with him.

he pulled off the only clothing (pantie) still covering your body, completely naked in front of him. he could swear he drooled at the sight of you.

he realized he was still entirely in his clothes. he quickly undressed himself, his hardened cock sprang free. you couldn’t help but to drop your vision to it, completely forgot how beautiful it looked.

he got closer again, his hand quickly back to where it was. he played with your wet folds, spreading it nicely. two of his fingers slowly entered you, your hands gripping his biceps.

“fuck,” you breathed heavily, the sudden stretching was uncomfortable. you weren’t used to this, after months of not being sexually active, this was like the first time again.

his eyes never left your face, making sure you were okay. he pulled his fingers back out, only to push them back in, curling them at the end.

your mouth fell open, embarrassing or not but you could swear you were already about to let go only from that.

you clenched around his fingers as he fastened his pace, a groan left his mouth when your hand gripped his cock.

you jerked him off slowly, sometimes stopping, too distracted from the pleasure he was giving you.

he suddenly added a third finger, stretching you even more. fuck, was that needed? the last time you remember having sex with him, he only did two. did he grew?

you haven’t noticed any change at the hold of his cock, but maybe because it felt new to you again.

he pounded his fingers into you, your wet juices made a squishy sound fill the car, along with heavy breathes, your low moans and his occasional groans.

“kook-“ you bit onto your lip, you were near. he knew it, your eyes shut, brows crashed together and your hand stopping jerking him off exposed you.

“let go,” he whispered, his lips leaving kisses on your neck once again. you whimpered, your thighs closing and body shaking as you came around his fingers.

it may have been bigger than before, due to not experiencing it for some time. he pulled his fingers out, the empty feeling made you sad.

you watched him lick his fingers clean, then leaning in to kiss you. “you did so good,” he praised you, his voice suddenly soft again.

you let a breathy giggle out at that, “do you wanna go further?” he asked, his fingers caressing the skin on your sides.

you looked at him with your soft eyes, he cared. you don’t know why that surprised you, he always cared when making love to you.

“yeah, do you?” he frowned, glancing down to his dick. “what do you think?” he asked with a grin, your cheeks turned red.

“come here,” he gently spoke as he pulled away and leaned in the seat. he pat his bare thigh, signaling you to sit on him.

your heart picked up it’s pace, the sight of his naked body — god, his cock laying on his stomach that stopped just under his belly button, it was so breathtaking. his beauty was on another level.

“what?” he asked with a smirk, you were just staring. “like what you see?”

you smiled and climbed on top of him, “yeah, a lot.” you grabbed his cock, placing it on your entrance.

“you minx,” he groaned, the feeling of your bare pussy touching his dick made his body full of goosebumps.

growing impatient, he suddenly lifted his hips, entering you. your mouth fell open, hands on his buff chest. he stretched you even more this time, your walls continuously clenching around his length.

he pulled you down by your neck to kiss you, relaxing your body to help him slide inside more easily. both of you let out a content sigh when he completely filled you up.

“gimme a minute,” you whispered, your forehead fell to his chest as you tried to steady your breathing and get used to him.

he stroked your back, his touch soft. “everything alright?” he planted a tender kiss on the top of your head.

you hummed, sitting in one place for some more time. “oh, fuck,” he moaned out when you got up and slammed back down out of the blue.

his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you tight and close — to feel you even closer and of course, making sure you don’t fall down.

your arms around his neck, your chests pressed together as you rode him. your pace was slow at first, gentle as you still got used to it.

it all felt intimate, maybe too much. you were exes, a hookup isn’t supposed to feel so … romantic. for a moment it felt like nothing changed, but you knew it was completely different.

maybe this could be called as a ‘sorry i fucked another whore’. you clenched around him at the thought of that again, but it went away as quickly as it came when he slapped your ass.

the sound echoed in the car, a moan was muffled by his lips on yours. his mind was filled with thoughts too, he missed having you like this.

it was like a dream to him, fucking you raw again after such a long time of no contact. your bodies were covered in sweat, you stopped kissing when he looked down at your bodies meeting.

the way you were bouncing and grinding on his cock was a sight he for sure will never forget. he threw his head back, a hiss left his mouth when you sucked on his neck.

“oh, ___,” he moaned out, it was whiny. he felt your walls tighten, you liked it a bit too much to hear him like that.

he looked back up, your eyes locked together as you bounced even more deeper and faster on him, his eyes dropping to your breasts for a second.

he held them in his hands, his eyes back on yours. he pinched your nipple and that was the end of you — your body shook as you came around his cock, clenching around him.

a low grunt left his mouth and he threw his head back again as he came too, filling you up nicely. he knew you were on pills, you have always been.

you both panted heavily, staying still for some minutes. you got off him, he leaned to the passenger seat to take some wet tissues out of the glove compartment.

you mumbled a low ‘thanks’ and you both cleaned yourselves up.

when he put on his shirt, you were already done dressing up. “by the way,” he started and he ran a finger through his raven hair.

you looked at him, “don’t tell this to aerum, please.” you frowned, aerum? who the fuck is aerum?

he awkwardly laughed and scratched the back of his neck at your confused reaction, “aerum, my girlfriend.”

your heart sank at that, of course. why did you even think this will take you both anywhere? you’re not gonna be his side chick tho.

you scoffed and looked away, “right.” he looked at you dumbfounded when you got out of the car, walking away from him.

once a cheater, always a cheater.

[shiplessoceans]

Moments in House MD that made me absolutely feral as an O.G fan that watched it as it aired back in the naughties, shipping House/Wilson hardcore and not realising I was queer:

1. Wilson loudly reciting a poem to House as he enters the hospital lobby which contains the line: "His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, everything about him leaves me raw.'

2. The look on Wilson's face when a random clinic patient gives House advice about his date with Cameron.

"Do her....or you're gay."

*cue Wilson looking to the side like...wait a minute...*

3. House: "They were not Prada! you wouldn't know Prada if it stepped on your scrotum."

4. Wilson: "House I believe you're a romantic, you didn't just believe him, you believed IN him! Wanna come over tonight, watch old movies and cry?"

5. House (yelling across a crowded lobby to Wilson): "How long can you go without sex?"

6. The look on Wilson's face when he gets a masseuse for House (!) and she massages his hand, causing him to begin moaning orgasmically.

7. Stacey: "What are you hiding?"

House: "I'm gay... Oh that's not what you meant! But it does explain a lot thought. No girlfriend, always with Wilson..."

8. House watching Wilson sleep on the couch in his apartment, then quietly erasing a voicemail from a real estate agent saying Wilson's apartment application for a new place went through.

9. Wilson, explaining his infidelity during his previous marriage, to Cameron when she's feeling awful because she considered cheating on her husband while he was dying:

"Well my wife wasn't dying, she wasn't even sick. But I met someone who made me feel...funny. Good. And I... didn't wanna let that feeling go."

The lack of pronoun haunts me to this day.

10. Gay male patient harassing House and questioning why he won't treat him:

Patient: "Because you're a closet case?" (Eyeing House and Wilson who have just emerged from House's apartment)

Wilson: "Uh...we're not...together..."

House: "He is so self-loathing."

11. House nearly kills himself to attempt to prove there is no afterlife, Wilson waits over his bedside and then calls him an idiot and orders him extra pain medication. House's response is:

"I love you."

12. House: "Big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything."

13. Wilson refusing to participate in a board vote to oust House from the hospital and consequently losing him job for House. Wilson's furious with him over being put in that position but forgives House easily.

14. Wilson (speaking to House about dating a woman eerily similar to House): "Why not? Why not date you? It's perfect! We've known each other for years, we put up with all kinds of crap from each other and we keep coming back. We're a couple!"

House: "Are we still speaking metaphorically?"

15. (Less than a minute later when House keeps trying to convince Wilson he and Amber are a bad idea).

Wilson: "Wait a minute, every time I agree with you, you come up with a new argument. What are you trying to avoid?"

House: *Stares at Wilson with the most meaningful eye contact to ever eye contact*

Wilson: "Oh! Well if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved (clicks tongue)."

16. To Wilson's new girlfriend in a threatening, 'stay away from my man' voice:

House: "Give him back his sweatshirt... Pit stains don't become you."

17. House: "This isn't just about the sex! You like her personality! You like that she's conniving. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves..."

*tense pause*

House: "Oh my god. You're sleeping with me."

*flees restaurant*

18. House: "I have really gotta get you laid. If I have to plough that furrow myself, so be it."

19. Wilson: "I have a headache."

House: "We don't have to have sex, sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk."

20. (To a bellboy at a hotel House is staying at, while gesturing to Wilson)

House: "After he and I have sex, I'm gonna slit his throat and disembowel him in the bathtub."

21. House going to interview all of Wilson's ex wives to figure out how best to break him and Cuddy up when they aren't even dating. The look on his face when Bonnie explains how good at sex Wilson is? Priceless.

22. House: "Probably my deep and very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."

22. House: "If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be fine with that."

23. House borrowing money off Wilson in increasing amounts to test the limits of their friendship. He later admits to Wilson that: "Maybe I don't want to push this til it breaks".

24. House being convinced the male CIA agent who approaches him in season 4 is a stripper and sitting on a bench saying:

House: "You wanna close that door?"

CIA agent: "Why?"

House: "Well I assume you're gonna drop trou at some point during the dance, I don't see why I should share."

25. Wilson: "I want a threesome"

House: "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"

26. All of that episode where House is talking to Dr Nolan and says Wilson is not a consolation prize. Legit became convinced halfway through that this was going to be House realising he's in love with Wilson and wants to keep living with him.

27. House hiring a P.I. to stalk Wilson after they've had a falling out to see if he misses him. The P.I. clocks this immediately and treats the case like that of a scorned lover needing to know if the other party is pining and if theres anything that can make him come back.

28. Wilson proposing to House in a restaurant to throw a wrench in his plans to date their neighbour.

29. Wilson got mad that Cuddy hurt House. So he bought her dream apartment out from under her in sheer spite and moved into said apartment with House.

30. Wilson being indecisive and unable to buy furniture for himself because of a flimsy sense of self and an inability to figure out who he is and what he wants. House teases him about this and challenges him to buy one peice of furniture that says something about who Wilson is.

The peice of furniture Wilson buys?

A piano organ for House.

31. House: "You were thinking about Wilson while were were having sex? That's cool so was I."

32. Wilson: "If things go wrong, I just want you to know..."

House: "If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me? Everyone just kind of assumed it."

33. Cameron: "Where do you put the cane?"

House: (referring to Wilson) "If he buys me dinner he can find out."

34. That gay as fuck ending, fuck I'll never be over it.

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈

part 3 of 🌧️welcome to hell🌧️

summary - as the betrayal continues, you slip through memories that you had unknowingly locked away, finally seeing the lies.

warning - cheating, angst, bad thoughts, swearing, self-hate.

the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.

part 1 - part 2 - part 4

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

You finally make your way to your bedroom, each step dragging with dread. You could feel the end approaching, but you didn’t know how it would go. You walk in and see him already on his side, you sigh softly before crawling into the bed. You felt your skin crawl with him so close, you felt like you needed to bathe in bleach or boiling hot water or even both to stop feeling so dirty. You turned on your side, not being able to fall asleep as your mind is flooded with thoughts and memories.

Ten minutes pass and you feel Johnny move before he slides out of bed and tiptoes to the bedroom door. Your eyes slip shut when he turns his head to check if you are asleep. The moment he walks out, and the door closes gently behind him, a tear slips from your eyes.

The house had been quiet, but the moment your husband entered the guest bedroom next to yours. The silence had been replaced, first with their voices. They were muffled, but you could still hear them through the wall, your heart was pounding in your chest as their voices turned into moans. You felt as though someone had reached into your chest, grabbed your heart and started squeezing and twisting. You imagined the person doing it was a demonic version of Johnny, he stood before you, his hand in your chest, claws digging into your frantic heart. His eyes black, an evil swirled inside of them, and a large sadistic grin appeared, a row of sharp teeth shown. 

The truth was… You’d rather deal with a demon than what was happening in the other room. 

Your eyes slip closed as tears continue to fall and as you are trying to block out the sounds coming from the guest room. You are pulled into a memory…

Your body collides into something, and your eyes squeeze shut as you are expecting to fall from the force of impact. You feel someone wrap their arms around you and your eyes shoot open, you are met with the prettiest blue eyes you have ever seen. Your mouth opens and closes, cheeks heating up when you realise you’ve been staring for too long at the hot stranger.

He smiles down at you, and you feel like you’re dreaming. “You better watch your step, Baby girl. You nearly fell for me.” His smile shifted into a smirk, you were the prey to the predator, the toy to a manwhore. Your heart fluttered. 

Your lashes fluttered as you blinked before you realised you were still in the man’s arms. You gently pull away and look down at your feet, your bottom lip between your teeth as you suddenly feel shy and ridiculous. “I’m so sorry.” Your hands smooth out the dress you are wearing before you pause as a hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes shoot up and connect with his pretty blue ones. 

“Nothing to be sorry about, Baby. You got a name, beautiful?” You nod. He chuckles, “Not gonna share it?”

Your mouth opens and your face heats up again. “Oh! I’m sorry, it’s Y/n.” You begin to chew your bottom lip, staring at him again. 

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Names Johnny.” He smirks again. “What do you say we get outta here, Baby girl?” And like that, your interest in him crashed and burned. 

You shook your head. “It was nice to meet you, Johnny.” You give him a small smile before you walk away. Unknowingly leaving the playboy shocked behind you. 

You had chosen a path that you didn’t know had been set out for you that day. Fate had created two, and if you had moved to the left a little bit two seconds before bumping into Johnny. You would’ve bumped into your other path. The path you were meant to take. 

That was the first time you had met each other, but it seemed the universe or fate wasn’t done with either of you just yet. The memory switched…

You were sitting in a small cafe, your laptop opened in front of you as a hot coffee sat beside it. Your brows were furrowed as you stared at the screen, not noticing the hot not so stranger walk in. Johnny looks around with a cocky look, trying to find someone he could take home when his eyes landed on you and his expression morphed into one of shock. 

You were the one that got away, a challenge. Johnny was rarely turned down, anyone and everyone wanted him. So why didn’t you? 

It seemed from the beginning you were always just a challenge for him to pursue and when he got you. He must’ve grown bored because once you’ve caught the thing that interested you, sparked something inside, made you curious to figure out. Was it really fun anymore? 

Johnny sauntered over, a smirk on his lips. “Hey, Baby girl.” You look up with wide eyes, not expecting to run into him here. It didn’t seem like his style. 

“Johnny…”

“It’s good to see you again, beautiful.” He licked his lips as his eyes danced over your body. You shift, your eyes darting between him and your laptop. He must’ve sensed something was wrong because his back straightened. “I’m sorry. I feel like we’ve come off on the wrong foot.” He did a spin, facing you with a playful smile. “Hi, I’m Johnny. It’s nice to meet you!”

You didn’t mean to, but a giggle slipped out. A giggle? You haven’t done that since you were a teenager and your crush spoke to you. Your lashes flutter as you look into his eyes, a smile making an appearance on your face. Your hand slips into his extended one, shaking it gently. “Hi, I’m Y/n.” 

After your second meeting, things seemed to hit off from there. You exchanged numbers and kept in touch, after speaking on the phone for two weeks. Johnny had asked you on a date. Your memory switched to when your relationship turned romantic…

You were extremely nervous, why was Johnny bothering with you? You knew what kind of guy he was. So, was this a play to get into your pants? You stared at yourself in the mirror, your lip had become puffy and red from how much you had been chewing on it. Your eyes scan your outfit, trying to spot a problem. You wore a slightly larger size, dark grey wool jumper with a black skirt. 

Johnny was taking you to a carnival and you didn’t want to overdress, but you also didn’t want to look horrible. So you went with a simple option, but you didn’t know if this was a good decision in the first place. Your brows furrowed, he had been nice. But what did he want with you? 

You shake your head of your thoughts before grabbing a clip to clip your hair back, only leaving a few strands out to frame your face. You then walk into your bathroom and apply some mascara and gloss, having to take some deep breaths as you feel so anxious. You couldn’t shake these nerves, somewhere deep inside. You felt like this was wrong. 

A knock at the door brings you out of it and you walk over with a smile you had practiced so many times in the mirror, wanting, needing to look perfect. You didn’t want everyone else to see the flaws you saw. 

Your biggest fear was that eventually he would see you the way you saw yourself.

He had looked hot that night, like he always did. You never knew what he saw in you. You remembered his reaction when you opened the door. 

Your body buzzes with nerves as you open the door, your eyes land on Johnny who looks away from something when he hears the door opening. His eyes landed on you, and they sparkled, scanning you from head to toe. “Wow… You look beautiful.” He licked his lips. He calls you beautiful like it’s your name, but why did it feel like a lie? “You ready to go?” You nod, following him out.

As you relive the memory, you realise so many signs you had missed. You should have seen it coming. The signs were flashing brightly in front of your face, but you were too blind to see. Everything flashes before your eyes so quickly, the night of your first date. He was looking at your new neighbour who had just moved in down the hall, she had just come home from work at the diner and caught his eye. You didn’t know that after your date when you wouldn’t let him in, that he would then knock on her door and end up in her bed. He didn’t cheat, but he wasn’t completely honest, and you didn’t know which was worse. You remembered the date, things that were once locked away in your mind to protect your heart were now unlocking before your eyes.

He took you to the carnival that you had been dying to go to, but you never had the time or the people to go with. You were so excited, practically bouncing on your feet as the lights caught your eye. Your smile so wide as you walked past the stalls and rides, your hand holding onto Johnny’s, eyes sparkling with happiness.

You were so busy looking around at the games that you missed the looks your date was giving others. From the beginning it seemed he wasn’t really in this for love. Oh god, why were you so blind? You pull him over to a game where you can win a bear, it wasn’t like the movies where the guy would offer to win the prize for you. Johnny just watched as you did it yourself. How did he trick you for so long? 

At some point in the date, you began to feel sad. Was he not that into you? You watched him for a bit before looking down at the food he bought, and the roles switched. Johnny watched you and he wondered why you looked so sad. He was good at seducing women into his bed, he wasn’t the greatest at the whole dating thing. 

“Do you want to go on the bumper cars? We can team up.” He didn’t know why he felt so nervous when asking, you were just a girl. What could be so scary about that? Johnny watched as your face lit up and you smiled. He liked when you smiled, it made him feel like he did something right. You nod and get up, not bothering to finish the food as you grab his hand and pull him towards the bumper cars. 

The date picked up a bit after that, you still missed the looks Johnny gave any pretty woman that looked his way. But he was more attentive, so you were happier. You didn’t feel so unattractive and boring. Toward the end of the date, he took you on the ferris wheel, kissing you at the top. You thought you had felt sparks as your lips touched. But they were only what you had wanted to feel. 

You pull out of the memory, tears streaming down your face as you remember that you never actually felt those sparks when your lips met his. Your memories continue to flash through your mind to distract you from the moans that have gotten louder. Johnny knew you were a deep sleeper, you guess that was why they didn’t even try to be quiet. Your second date he had taken you bowling, and you thought that maybe this could work. Then when your third date came around and he took you to a very fancy restaurant, you had a brief thought that maybe he forgot when you mentioned you preferred the simpler things in life. After your third date, Johnny had become more handsy and because of how blind you were, you thought you loved him and ended up in his bed. 

You don’t know why you two got married. You had wanted it, the relationship was still thriving… Well, on your side it was. Johnny would be gone sometimes, but you brushed it off because of how sweet the relationship was sometimes. 

Your ears ring as your mind blocks out the moans and you are dragged back into another memory, the one where you got your first apartment together. 

You held his hand as you both walked into the tenth apartment that week, nothing had caught your eye yet, nothing seemed to call out to you. But this one felt good, it was in your price range and had the things you were looking for. Johnny seemed semi interested, but he had told you to choose what you liked before going back to his phone. 

“Johnny, what do you think?” You wanted him to decide as well. You tugged slightly on his hand as you looked up at him, waiting for him to look up from his phone. He hums, removing his eyes from the screen before he looks around and nods, leaning down to place a kiss on your head. 

“It’s perfect, Babe.” You smiled, everything in that moment felt perfect. You stared off, this was the beginning of your life. This would be the place where your relationship would blossom. You and Johnny had gotten the apartment that day. 

When the day came to finally move your stuff in and get things sorted. You had gotten into a fight.

“Will you just leave me the fuck alone?! God! I need my fucking space!” Johnny screamed, his glare set on you. 

“I just wanted to know where you were!” You screamed back, anger dripped from your words. “You knew we had things planned today! Yet, you decide that going out last night was more important! Why the hell are you only coming home now, Johnny?! It’s nine–thirty in the fucking morning!” You had forgotten this fight or more specifically what it was about. You can’t remember why you kept forgetting the bad?

He throws his hand up, “I stayed at a friend’s house! Is that a fucking problem?!” 

“Yes. We had times set for when we had to be there, we still have things we need to do.”

“Why couldn’t you just do it? Do you seriously need me for everything? I came fucking apartment hunting with you when I could’ve been out!” Your anger started to rise when he opened his phone, now paying more attention to it than you. Who was he texting all the time? 

But sadness began to overweigh the anger with your next words. “...We were supposed to do this together, WE as a couple. Not I or me, I wanted you to have a say as well…” You sigh, shaking your head before you grab your things and walk past him. “I’ll just do it myself… It’s fine.” You gulp, swallowing the tears.

You remember that was your first fight and on the way out of his place, you bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry!” You quickly say as you shake your head, lifting your hand to quickly wipe away a stray tear that fell. 

“I’m so sorry!” The stranger says at the same time, their hands immediately reaching out to steady you as you stumble.

You look up, your eyes connecting to the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen. You didn’t know that he thought the same about your eyes and you both stared at each other for a bit, a whole life together flashed before both of your eyes before a throat cleared.

You turn your head and feel your cheeks heat up, there stood a gorgeous redhead and of course this guy had a girlfriend, he was so dreamy… AND you had a boyfriend too! How could you forget that by just looking into his eyes? You clear your throat, stepping back a bit. The woman smirks, her eyes move between you and the man, as if she figured out something before anyone else. “Sorry for interrupting this love at first sight moment, but we gotta go.” 

He nods, even though his cheeks turn a pretty pink and you’re sure if you touched yours, they’d be hot. “I’m sorry again for bumping into you, ma’am. Have a nice day.” He leaves with the prettiest smile you have ever seen, he leaves before you can even learn his name… 

Now you remember why you forgot the fight… The moment you looked into the strangers eyes, the whole world disappeared and the only thing you could see, feel, smell was him. It felt like everything had connected, like your souls had finally found each other after searching for so long. It all felt like this was what was meant to be but was suddenly pulled away with each step he took as he left. Leaving your souls to search for one another again.

He was your soulmate. You didn’t know it, yet. But you’ll find him in the next life like you had found him in this one. 

You were broken out of your trance at the sound of the door opening behind you. You turn around and see Johnny, he seemed in a rush with his face no longer in his phone and keys gripped tightly in his hand. “Thank god! I thought you’d be far by now!” Johnny pulls you into a hug and kisses your head. “I’m sorry, Babe. I should've been here at the time we said.” He pulls back and looks down at you. “Are you ready to go?”

You nod, walking with him but your mind is on someone else, and you feel so god damn guilty. You looked at your boyfriend to try and get the thoughts of someone else out of your head, but to no avail. You didn’t even know the guy’s name. How could he possibly make you feel more than you do with Johnny?

You finally made it to your new apartment, you had called ahead when you realised that you weren’t going to make it at the said time. Thankfully, they had been understanding. 

When the two of you entered your new home. It didn’t exactly feel like it just yet, the place was empty except for the boxes filled with your belongings. The furniture you and Johnny had picked out hadn’t arrived, but you guess you could work around that. 

As you were in the middle of unpacking some boxes, you noticed Johnny on his phone and frowned, wondering what had him smiling like that. Your question was answered as music filled the room and he placed his phone down before walking over to you with a smile. The empty apartment was now filled with laughter as you both danced around, not caring if the moves were perfect or not. You laugh as you fall into him, and his arms wrap around you. This is why you could push through all the bad, because there was still the good.

Yes, you could see it. Finally, it feels like our life together can start. He leans down, eyes slipping closed as his lips press flush against yours. Still no sparks, but that was okay. Because he was the one you wanted.

Now you remember why you two had married. Because in that moment, the man, Johnny’s disappearances and late nights, the stress of finding a new home and your questions on if he was the one had disappeared. Vanished as he held you in his arms, in your new home as he kissed you. Feeling happier than you had felt for so long.

You lay in bed, with every moan you could feel your heart break over and over again. All the good that once flooded your memories had been replaced with every sound that slipped from that room, no longer filled with love and happiness. You were no longer going to think of your wedding day or any other day that meant something to you, because they were all lies. You had realised too late that your relationship was a joke, Johnny had gotten better with hiding his man whorish ways. 

“Fuck, I love you, beautiful.” The words were muffled, but it sounded so loud in your head. Those words seemed to be the final nail in the coffin. 

He calls you beautiful like it was your name. It echoed, tore into your heart. Your heart barely tore at the I love you he had announced. That wasn’t the word that hurt the most, no… It was the name he had called you, now uttered against her lips, skin, soul. Etched into her being as though she was the only one, he was seeing. You felt like you could no longer breathe, like you were drowning and there was no way to come up for air. You knew it felt like a lie.

Have you ever felt like you did everything right and it still went all wrong? Like you weren’t living the life you were meant for? 

You fell asleep heartbroken and tired. It hurt when you realised you weren’t as important to someone as you thought you were. Sometime late in the night or early morning, you felt Johnny slip into your bed and the feeling made your skin crawl, you felt sick. Your heart clenched in your chest before you finally fell back into a dreamless sleep. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[lexisecretaccx]

A Married Man - M.S

Masterlist!

(Fem reader x Matt Sturniolo, smut, cheating (don’t do that shit!!), angst, sad, i know Matt wouldn’t do this but it’s a fake story, not proofread!)

Summary: Y/n has been sleeping with Matt for the past month and after a night at his house she finds something that causes her so much regret…

He pulls my shirt over my head as we rush to the bed, I lay back on it as he removes his own clothes. “Such a pretty girl.” He smirks at me before removing my pants and underwear. His hand immediately finds place on my clit as he rubs circles causing me to whimper lightly.

The cold rings on his fingers pressing against my skin as he slips his middle finger in, pumping in and out quickly. I’ve never really understood the ring on his ring finger.. I asked him about it and he told me how it’s for the aesthetic like the other rings he wears. I realise that he has a lot of woman stuff.

Like the shampoos, soaps, pads, tampons, all the things in his bathroom that he told me is for any female guests. That’s thoughtful of him honestly, it’s nice to shower after sex and not have to use a man’s 3 in 1 soap.

He pulls me by my legs and spreads them out before putting them around his waist lining his cock up with my entrance, a dance we have done many times before. He pushes into me maintaining eye contact as my expression shifts to pleasure. He pounds into me roughly as he holds my hands above my head.

The sounds of skin slapping and my loud moans fills the bedroom, alongside his groans and low moans. His tip manages to kiss my g-spot perfecting each time he pounds into me, furthering me deeper and deeper into the euphoric state of my brewing orgasm. “Doing so good for me baby..” he groans.

“I’m gonna cum!” I scream out as I feel the knot in my stomach tighten he doesn’t slow his pace but instead he brings a hand down to wear we connect and rubbing circles on my clit. “Fuck!” I yell in pleasure as I come undone on his cock, he does a few more slow thrusts before finishing inside of me with a loud moan.

He pulls out and lays breathlessly next to me for a moment “let me clean you.” He gets off of the bed and walks to his en suite bathroom, he returns with a wet wash cloth and cleans up in between my legs. “I’m gonna hop in the shower, do you wanna join? Not for sex but just to clean.” He offers but I shake my head.

“No it’s okay thank you though, do you have something I could eat?” I ask him sitting up and returning my clothes back on. “Yeah we have fruits, snacks, literally anything in the kitchen, and drinks.” He smiles at me, “We?” I chuckle. He turns back to me, “I was joking, like pretending I’m a hotel.” He smirks, I giggle. “Alright thanks.” I get up and walk downstairs.

I hear the shower upstairs turn on and I enter the kitchen, it’s connected to the dining room. I grab a bag of chips and start to eat them, I look at the dining room and towards the stairs, the shower still running. I’m a nosy person, it’s normal. I walk into the dining room and take a look at the various shelves.

Ornaments and plants decorate them, a picture of Matt and his classmates from when he was in school makes me smile to myself. On one of the shelves there is a picture that’s face down. It probably fell, I should put it back up for him. I go on my tip toes to reach the picture and take a look at it.

It’s a wedding photo, I look for Matt in the background as it’s probably his friend’s wedding. He isn’t standing by the best men, I take a look at the bride and groom. She’s pretty and he is.. he’s Matt.

My heart sinks to my stomach and I drop the picture. The glass of the frame shatters and I step back. It can’t be? I pick the broken frame back up and take a closer look, I feel sick. It’s him, the shower stops running. I hear him walking around upstairs probably getting dressed.

He’s fucking married?!

I’ve been sleeping with a married man? I’m such a bad person, I didn’t know he was married! If I did I would’ve left him alone and not talked to him in that way. My hands are shaky and I feel my eyes well with tears, my breaths are shallow as tears pour down my cheeks.

I feel terrible, I didn’t know but I should’ve, the ring? How stupid am I to believe that? The women’s products? The high heels that are by the front door that he told me were a gift for his mother? I should’ve thought more into it instead of being blinded by his blatant lies. When he said “we” a minute ago, he wasn’t making a joke, he meant him and his wife.

Where even is she, I hear the stairs creaking but I can’t move, I’m frozen in shock. “Y/n?” He calls to me, “what are ya doi-” I hear the obvious pause in his voice as he walks up behind me and sees the picture in my hand. “You’re married?” I speak shakily.

“Y/n.. I can explain.. that photo is old, that’s why I had it face down on the shelf.” He rubs my shoulders, I take the image out of the already broken frame and turn it around, ‘Matt and Lydia Autumn 2023’ is written on the back, “Old?” I put the image down and turn to him. “Fuck.. y/n we just had such a good connection I..” he goes to speak but I cut him off.

“That you had to cheat on your wife?! If you liked me that much you could’ve separated with her or divorced, there was no need to cheat!!” I yell, “Calm down baby.” He tries to relax me, “I can’t calm down! I slept with a married man!! I’m a home wrecker!” I cry out loudly. “Where even is she? The past month that we’ve been fucking?” I ask him aggressively.

He sighs, “The past week she’s been on a business trip, and normally she works from 10pm-4am so that’s why I usually get you to come at 11pm and I get you home by 3am.” He mumbled. “Oh my fucking god. You have to tell her about this!” I shout. “I can’t do that..” he bites his lip. “Why? You love her? If you loved her you wouldn’t have done this!”

“You are as equally to blame as me y/n.” He shouts, “You knew you were married and lied to me! I had no clue Matt!! I wouldn’t have even talked to you that night if I knew you were married.” I push past him, “where are you going?” He asks, “To the store to buy cupcakes.” I sarcastically say. He tilts his head, “Home obviously!” I shout.

“If you don’t tell her when she’s back.. I will.” I hiss at him before opening the door and walking out, “y/n! It’s a long walk let me drive you.” He calls, “Fuck off.” I shout back.

I feel like such an idiot.

2 weeks later

I found her instagram. A week ago she got back from the business trip, she posted a selfie of them captioned, ‘back home with my favourite man’ he is smiling, he has no right to smile. I don’t think he’s told her as she has been posting and yesterday she posted a photo of them together captioned, ‘movie night with the hubby’ I have to tell her.

I thought about dming her on insta about it, but then I thought. I’d rather show up to their house, not to cause dramatics but just so she can hear it from me and also get Matts reaction so she knows I’m not a liar.

It’s around 4pm and I leave, I walk to their house, it’s a good half hour walk but Matt gets home from work at 5pm. At 4:35 I get there. I breathe out harshly before knocking on their front door, after about 10 seconds the lock clicks and she opens the door.

Her auburn locks tied back into a messy bun, “How can I help you?” She smiles at me, I try to fight back tears even more at how kind she is but I think it’s evident in my face that I’m upset. “Lydia?” I ask, “That’s me? Who are you?” She looks awkwardly. “I need to talk to you about Matt, it’s really urgent can I come in?” Hoping she lets me in.

“Yes of course honey, is he okay?” She opens the door and leads me to the living room. We sit on the couch and she softly smiles at me, before I can get a word out I burst into tears, “Hey don’t cry what’s wrong?” She comforts me, “I’m so sorry..” I shake my head, “what for?” She seems more concerned.

“I’m gonna explain something but please let me finish before you say anything or respond okay?” I look at her, she nods nervously. “About a month ago I was at a club with my friends, getting drinks you know all that good stuff.” I sniffle, “My friend spots a group of attractive men so we walk over and start flirting, one of them pays a lot of attention to me and buys me a drink. He was very touchy and kind and we left the club together.”

Her expression hardens as she tries to understand what I’m saying, “He took me back to his house and we.. you know. But he rushed me home before 3am.. he had given me his number and we kept talking and meeting up, always between 11pm and 3am. He made sure I was gone before half 3 the latest.”

“I had many confusions, the ring on his ring finger, the woman products in his bathroom and everything but he made sure to tell me it was for the aesthetic and for any females he brought home.” I look up at her and I think she’s putting the pieces together as she has teary eyes.

“I was convinced he was single up until 2 weeks ago when I saw the picture in his dining room, that had been face down, he tried to tell me it was old but I had accidentally broken it when I saw what it was. It was your wedding photo..” I cry, she has tears running down her face.

“Lydia I am so sorry, I never would’ve talked to him if I knew he was married.. I feel terrible and it’s all because I liked a boy.. he doesn’t deserve to be called a man after everything he’s done, I told him to tell you when you came back from your trip or I would and he still didn’t.. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.” I rub my eyes.

“I’m a home-wrecker.” I look down with so much guilt and regret, expecting her to shout at me or hit me, I wouldn’t be mad if she did. “I believe you.” She sighs, her tear stained cheeks not ruining her beauty and kind aura.

“What’s your name?” She asks me, “Y/n..” I sniffle, “You have every right to hate me but I promise on my mother’s grave that I didn’t know..” I look at her. “I don’t hate you, I hate him though, he told me he was cleaning the shelves and dropped the image, I saw that some of my soap had been used but I didn’t bring it up to him.” She’s very strong, I would be smashing things and screaming if I was in her position.

“We should wait until he’s back and I’ll tell him you came around and pretend you left. But then you can be in here and we can confront him.. sound like a plan?” She smiles softly but I can tell her heart is broken. I nod gently.

About half hour passes and he arrives home, she greets him at the door. “Hey my love, I missed you.” I could hear him say. “Hey darling, some girl came to the door about an hour ago.. what was her name again?” She spoke, “Y/n or something?” He responds with.. “I’ve never heard of her.” He rapidly spoke I saw him walk past the living room door. He didn’t see me.

“I never asked if you did, she just told me that she met you at a bar and you guys fucked.. is that true?” Lydia asks him calmly, “She must be delusional or confused, I’ve never been to a bar since our honeymoon.” He scoffs, “oh fair enough, can you grab the cups from the living room? I forgot to grab them from earlier.” She asks him.

“Yeah sure.” His voice gets closer, he freezes when he sees me sat on the couch. “Totally delusional.” I smirk, his expression is that of fear? “I forgot to say she’s still here.” Lydia walks up behind him, “Who are you?” He asks me, his lie is obvious. I scoff, “sit down Matt.” Lydia spoke angrily.

“Y/n told me everything and it all adds up, you’re a cheater!” She shouts at him, “I’m sorry it was only once it won’t happen again!” He scrunches his face up and puts his head into his hands. “You aren’t sorry for cheating.. you’re sorry that you got caught Matt.” I hiss, “I gave you a chance to tell hen and you didn’t.”

“Fuck you.” He growls at me, “don’t speak to her like that, would you have kept it a secret if she hadn’t told me? Continued to play happy families?” Lydia ask him, “I would’ve told you eventually..” he mumbles, “Oh yeah, when we would’ve had kids and been married long enough for it to be bad for them if we split? I want you to pack up and get the fuck out of my house.” She yells.

“Please Lydia..” he begs her. “Pack up or I’ll throw all your shit out.” She yells. “We’re getting a divorce and I’m taking the house key from you.” She shakes her head as he walks out the room. I hear him stomping around upstairs like a toddler having a tantrum.

“I’m sorry that this happened.” I stand up to her, she pulls me into a hug, “I’m glad you told me because he probably would’ve done it again, I’m not gonna go to work today now. Do you want me to drive you home once he’s left?” She smiles at me, “yeah okay thank you.” I reply.

A year later

It’s been a year since the whole situation, me and Lydia still talk, their divorce finalised a few months ago. He’s gone to therapy to try and become better and I hope he does.

I’m much more cautious when meeting new men, I stalk their socials and ask them questions. Usually they tell me if they’re in a relationship or if they’re single so that’s good.

I just hope he works on himself. Because he owes it to everyone honestly. Lydia said she would like to be friends with him once she’s got his shit together but she doesn’t want to take him back and that’s so valid. He just needs to get it sorted.

A/n: I like angst, this isn’t to be taken seriously yall I know Matt wouldn’t do this and nobody should do it but it’s for the story! Hope you enjoyed this!! Love y’all!🫶 anyone who wants to be on my taglist pls make sure ur settings r right so I can tag u!!

@blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @mattybslover @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @bueckerslover @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @certifiednatelover @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore @cammie4298 @sturnsjtop @sturnzblog @chr1sgirl4life @evie-sturns @milasturniolo @jaxyy219 @mattsturniolosbae @h3arts4harry @littlebookworm803 @realqueenofpepsi @elsxz1 @jnkvivi @nayveetbhh @sturnsmadl @mattspleasure @m0r94n @raysmayhem-72 @flamethrower313 @carolinalikesthings @itssophiasstuff @joemamaaa42069

[deepperplexity]

Prompt 12: Missing Mirth [D2]

Pairing: Sinclair Bryant x Fem!Reader

POV: Second, Reader

Continuation of: Prompt 9. Unwanted Solitude [D1]

Setting: Roughly 1.5 years after the end of the movie and Sinclair has divorced the it’s-absolutely-not-cheating-fucking-one’s-brother-while-married-to-a-sweetheart-bitch but now things are coming to light that you’ve hidden from him — including the very long and pining crush you’ve had of him since you met the man.

A/N: It’s almost seven in the evening (11th of December) and I’m staring at this blank page (obviously, it’s not blank when you read this but bear with me here) and I just have no idea what to write for this second part of the Sinclair duett… Like, no clue. Obviously, they need to get together - HEA guarantee that comes with Rickmas - but I just don’t know how sigh

*insert Spongebob meme - many hours later* Alright, it’s now a little over 12:00 today (12th of December) AND I DID IT! It turned out good, too, I think 👀 Unfortunately I don’t have the chance to send it to my certified Sinclair super-fan ( @snowblossomreads ) for a check but since she had no changes to make last time I’m gonna keep faith and hope I’ve managed to do Sinclair justice in this one as well 🙈 TIME FOR SOME CONFESSIONS AND SMUUUUUUUUT 🔥🔥🔥

Tags/TW’s: Confessions Of Love, Natalie Slander, Fluff, Smut (Explicit), Mentions Emotional Hurt, Mentions Neglecting Oneself, Years Of Secret Pining, Threats Of Violence In Thought, Threat Of Miscommunication (Solved Instantly), and they finally just get together while realising all those years they wanted each other! Whoooop!

Abbr.: Y/N - Your Name

Word Count: 4.5k

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

Missing Mirth

With a pair of Sinclair’s socks on your feet — as yours were drying — you sat down in the dining room with a cup of steamy tea each. Not a word had been spoken yet, and boy-oh-boy was that a strange experience with Sinclair. It was is if the very life in him had been washed out, the missing mirth and lack of joy he usually displayed during the holiday season absolutely nowhere to be found.

“Oh, right, a treat,” he declared and jumped out of his chair before striding in a rush toward the kitchen. You listened as he rummaged around in there for a moment, your stomach knotting further and further. At the same time, embarrassment of your quite sudden honesty seemed to infiltrate your thoughts — giving the knots in your stomach further reason to tighten. Why did I have to blurt it all out like that? I never blurt things out yet I even felt it was good to just get it out in the open like that? You sighed, squeezing the ear of the delicate teacup between your fingers. I’m such an idiot, and now he’s not even talking to me — what the hell do I do with a silent Sinclair?

As if on cue, the man entered with a tray stocked up with cookies. “There we go, a treat,” he announced but his voice was not quite as it should, nor were there any signs of him having eaten one while filling up the tray which was beyond odd. “Wait a minute—” you looked at the familiar cookies “—you haven’t eaten all of them yet? What’s wrong with you?” you blurted in disbelief as the tin you had left at his doorstep nearly a week ago with the very cookies now offered had obviously not run out within two days as it always did. The fact Sinclair seemed to have lost his appetite was not a red flag, it was a giant air horn blasting the loudest of warnings ever.

Sinclair looked sheepish but also sad, a strange combination seemingly rendering him speechless as he simply shrugged his shoulders while leaning back in his chair. “Sinclair,” you started, softening your voice as the knot in your stomach turned into a gnawing sensation. “Are you okay? There are no decorations up, and you're not acting as you normally do… I mean, there’s cookies left and you're not…” His eyes widened slightly. “I’m as fine and dandy as any old bloke could be.” “You’re not, though.”

He looked down at his tea. “Alright, amending my statement. I’m as fine and dandy as any old bloke who’s gone through a divorce with a woman not even willing or wanting to fight for the marriage, who also happened to be cheating during said marriage, and who also happened to do said cheating with an estranged and quite bumbling brother. And, as we are all for cherries on tops here in this house, I’ll add to boot I have not been enjoying any food at all as of late. A travesty, mind you, and far worse than the never-ending torrent of what-ifs playing through my head mixed with never-lessening nightmares of said cheater and bumbling cheater’s brother possibly fucking in the very bed I sleep in.”

You gawked at him. Barely a breath had been drawn while he’d laid it all out in one quick string of words. Alright, that had not quite been the way you’d imagined the conversation would go — Sinclair was honest and straight to the point at most times but regarding this, you hadn’t quite expected him to lay it all out so fully. “Okay, and what can I do to help?” you asked, not knowing what else to say. “Absolutely nothing. However, you made some very big statements standing in the remnants of my dishwasher’s uproar and those I wouldn’t mind getting clarifications on.”

Neither of you had touched your teas or the treats laid out, and now your stomach was too twisted up to even use the stuff as a way of pausing the conversation. But you had said some really honest things and you did stand by what you said even if said statements had been stated in a bit too much of a rush and with far too little thought dedicated to what would happen once you spilled the beans. You had thought about it over the past years several times but now, in the actual aftermath, all those thoughts didn’t come to you.

“Facts?” you asked quietly, spinning the teacup a little back and forth on the table by its ear. “Always facts.” You drew a deep breath. “Well, might as well…” you said to yourself before straightening and looking right at the man you found to be the most beautiful in all of the world. Despite the missing mirth, the lack of glow in his eyes and the less shiny hair along with the more hunched shoulder. He was still the most beautiful, but he lacked the lustre that was him. You gritted your teeth for a second as you truly took him in. That fucking bitch, I swear, if I find myself face to face with her my fist will do the talking rather than my mouth. Both perhaps — neither of them will be pleasant though.

But, despite the hate that sizzled in you, no words ever came about it. You couldn’t quite find the words to tell the facts either at first. Sinclair waited, oddly patient for the time being while your thoughts spun and you got tongue-tied while you tried to relax your body from the sudden rage at the thought of the woman who’d hurt him so badly.

“Out with it, Y/n,” he urged. “You can’t just tell me all those things in there and then not elaborate.” You sighed, feeling both uncomfortable and as if you’d put yourself in a sticky spot. “I know…” “Then elaborate, tell me, because I’m not sure what to do with myself if you’re sitting here not willing to speak again because it was lies—” “What? No!” Your heart jolted in your chest. “No, no it wasn’t lies, I just— Ugh, I’m not good with words. You know that. I don’t talk much.” “You listen well but talking is required when having a conversation, and you agreed to a conversation over a cup of tea in dry clothes. With all conditions met of the agreement I need you to just lay it out for me. People are already avoiding me, and walking on eggshells ever since the news broke and the gossipers got hold of some of the information…”

You wrapped your hands around the warm cup, your entire body tensing. “I hated her.” “Yes, I understood that.” “And I would never do or say anything that could jeopardize your happiness, and even if I hated her, and hated you two together, I couldn’t say anything ‘cus you looked happy with her. Your happiness is the most important.” “Hate?” “Yes.” Sinclair blew a raspberry, sinking down in his chair further. “Well, I never would have guessed it was that bad. She even liked you, didn’t she?” “No, Natalie only tolerated all of us because you made us all gather all the time. She was never nice to me, you know. Not that that matters, there was just something about her I hated. A sense of her being false, fake. I hate fake people.”

Sinclair looked at you, his brows scrunched in confusion. “Yet, you’ve never said anything about how you feel? Isn’t that false of you, then?” “Pfth, no, I never said how I feel out of respect. I never did anything regarding how I feel, or what I’ve thought because of the whole situation at large. I knew I was only ever your friend, the married man’s friend who happens to be good at listening, that’s all.” Sinclair nodded. “True. I never would have guessed…” “Obviously, you’re also way too good for me so even if you’d been single and all that jazz, I still hadn’t done anything about it.” “So, why tell me now?”

How were you to tell him the truth about that? Was it best to come right out and say it, or would it be better with some omissions? Not lies, but omissions? “I can see the wheels turning. Just, tell me the truth,” he said and there was a tired sweetness to his voice you had never heard before. “Truth?” “Yes, truth.” “All of it?” “How much of it can there be?”

You dove in, finally finding your voice and words. You talked for several minutes about how you hated seeing him with someone who didn’t appreciate him, how you hated the effect she’d had on him and what the divorce had done to him. You spoke at length about all the little details - from her altering her hair to fit in with the crowd to the mismatched behaviours of the two and all the way down to the missing commonalities between them.

“…and she doesn’t even like reading whereas you never stop. I remember her lamenting about you reading in bed after sex—” his eyes widened and his face turned whiter “—and I’m fully aware I wasn’t meant to hear about that but she didn’t hear me come in when she was on the phone and I caught the end of the conversation.” Sinclair looked ashen. “You have quite a lot in that head of yours.” “I listen, I hear, I look and I remember stuff. I don’t need to talk or be noticed by others to take in information, you know.” “Fair enough. But, I don’t believe anyone could be in a room with you and not notice you’re there.” “Ha! Sure, Sinclair, sure. You never noticed.” “I noticed… It wasn’t my place to notice, given being in love and married but I noticed. Quite a fault in my personality to notice things, really. Just looking around a room gives me too much to notice in every manner.”

You drew a steadying breath, feeling both relieved and crushed at the same time. “Yeah, you notice everything, except the obvious things — apparently.” “Well, some things you don’t want to notice. And if you don’t know there’s something there to notice then how are you supposed to notice it? It’s like playing hide and seek without letting the seeker know to look for the hiders.” “Well, perhaps it’s better not to notice sometime.” “In this instance, not particularly. Perhaps I wouldn’t have been taken off guard by a Trojan horse freely welcomed in my own home had I noticed things. Who knows. One can never be sure.”

You weren’t really sure exactly what you were talking about anymore but the way he looked at you had your palms heating and your cheeks burning. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Obviously, you’re still mourning the bitch— sorry, the relationship and life you guys had together given how you’re acting.” “No, no, you said it at just the right time. I stopped mourning months ago, this is something else.”

You straightened, blinking and tilting your head. “Something else?” “You’re very good at hiding things. I never would have guessed you wanted anything more than a polite friendship with me. You never gave even one hint.” “It was never a good time. When was I supposed to say to you that I had feelings for you?” “Had? As in past tense?” You stiffened. “Well… No… Present…” You shook your head. “Not that it matters. I’ll be your friend as long as you need. Obviously, your lack of an appetite and the fact the homemade cookies are still here is more than a sign you’re not in the right state of mind.” “Right state of mind?” “Well, yes. You’re obviously in some kind of depressive episode and I’ll help you and support you and be your friend until you get out of it.” Why am I saying this? I don’t want that, and I can’t stay his friend for an eternity, I’d end up dying a lonely woman with ten cats eating my corpse…

“What if I don’t want you as a friend?” His words had your throat closing up, your heart turned into a stampeding horse in your chest and the world suddenly seemed icy. “W-what?” you asked, not sure how the conversation got so turned about and flipped on its end. “What if I don’t want you as a friend, what then?” What then? What the fuck do you mean?!

You gulped a breath down. “That’s your choice…” “It’s a mutual choice, isn’t it?” “What? No, if you don’t want to be friends with me any longer we’ll go our separate ways like perfectly mature adults—” “Y/n, you’re not hearing me. For once, I might add, you’re quite bad at listening to me.”

He stood while I gaped at him. Never had I been accused of being a bad listener. It was one of very few things I was actually very good at, Sinclair even said so himself in the kitchen before — didn’t he? I had no time to think more about it as he walked up and crouched before me. “Can you hear me better from this distance?” “I— Sinclair, I could hear you just fine before.” He arched a brow at me, smiling softly. “Apparently, you couldn’t. Or maybe I wasn’t expressing myself well enough. Communication goes both ways as many studies have shown. If one part of the communication circle fails then the whole thing breaks down and the communication turns to dust. Not unlike how arguments often go, well, it certainly starts arguments when communication fails — no matter in what part of the circle the fault lies.”

You looked down at him, seeing his golden hair and the handsome features of his face so close again had your heart in a twist. And, right now, you didn’t know if that was a good twist or a bad one. “What are you saying?” He chuckled, the sweet sound music to your ears as it had been so long. “I am trying to say I do not want to be friends, I want to be more. Through this whole mess, the one constant thing has been you, even before this mess, you were a certain constant. I couldn’t allow myself to think anything more of it before, I was married and in love so there really couldn’t be anything more to it. Now, well, perhaps there is something to the whole love makes you blind saying. There has to be a reason it has stayed alive and remained accurate for centuries, no? Something has to be said for it. In this instant, I’d say the belief of being in love had me blind to love.”

You gaped at him. Through his whole monologue, you’d barely been able to breathe — despite loving his usual chatty personality reappearing this time you wished he had just gotten to the point so you could make your heart stop racing and possibly prevent a heart attack. “Are you saying… you’re in love with me?” His eyes softened. “I should speak plainly for once. Sorry, darling. Yes, I’m in love with you.” You stiffened, your mind not believing what your ears were hearing. “In love with me?” “Yes.” “But, I’m in love with you.” He chuckled. “Yes, rather fantastic coincidence — even if I don’t believe in coincidences. Studies have shown—” To hell with studies! Without thinking for another second, you leaned in, took his warm face in your hands, and kissed him harshly. His thin lips were stiff against yours for a heartbeat and then his hands landed on your thighs and he kissed you back. The world fell away and your shoulders relaxed as the sweet taste of him invaded your mouth. Kissing him was all you had dreamt it would be and more.

His tongue dipped out, your lips parted, and the kiss deepened. Your mind turned blank, zeroing in on him and him alone as his hands squeezed your thighs and slid upwards in intervals. They were warm and gentle — nearly careful. “Sinclair,” you moaned into his mouth. “Are you sure?” you continued as your lips parted and your eyes locked. “As sure as I’ve ever been.”

His fingers grasped the back of your neck a moment later, squeezing softly before rubbing back and forth. “You have been on my mind for a long time,” he said. “Now, hearing you feel for me as I feel for you, there is no reason to be patient or linger in the past. History may be written inaccurately by the winners of it, twisting facts and glorifying the wrongful ones at times. But, right now, I feel like one of those winners and I want to make the future wonderful with you so our history is gloriously accurately beautiful.” You bit your lip, holding back tears at his endearing words. “I want that, too.”

He kissed you again, diving in in desperation with a deep groan seeping into you from him as your hands roamed and his caressed in tune with his tongue. There were too many clothes, too little time, and far too much stumbling about happening as you clung to each other while moving through the house until you reached the stairs.

He paused, kissing you softly on the lips. “As delicious as the finest of desserts,” he whispered before grabbing your hand and walking up the stairs with you behind him — stumbling on unsteady legs while his gentle hold of your hand kept you from falling in the midst of desperation and warmth taking over your body.

How on earth you ended up here, thanks to a dishwasher breaking, you weren’t quite sure but you were certain that speaking the truth and opening up was part of it. For so long, you had remained silent — remained a supportive friend, a quiet listener, a treat-giving one — now you had spoken up and the world seemed to align with your wish for the first time in as long as you could remember.

Sinclair squeezed your hand, his thumb rubbing along your knuckles as you rushed to the bedroom. Your step faltered, seeing the large bed with beige bedding and white pillows had your stomach knotting. She slept in that, and he fucked her here, and kissed her, and held her, and read after— you couldn’t finish the thought.

“Sweet-treat?” Sinclair asked as you stood stock-still just inside the door frame. “New sheets?” you asked, your voice quiet but your eyes glaring at the beautiful bed. “New sheets, new mattress, new pillows, new covers, new everything but frame,” he said in a rush and you drew a breath of relief even if it technically still was the same bed. “I couldn’t sleep in it not knowing if they had…” he trailed off. You nodded. “Yeah…”

The silence stretched for a moment as you both looked at each other. It was odd, being in silence with Sinclair. “Let’s wipe history clean like the winners tend to do,” you whispered and stepped toward him. His shoulder softened. “Please,” he replied quietly and the sweetness in his eyes, the soft smile tugging his lips up, and the gentle way his lips met yours had you swooning.

The tempo picked up, hands roamed, lips kissed, tongues danced and the world fell away around you both. “Off,” you said in an exhale while tugging at his shirt. “Off,” he replied while gliding his hands down your sides, tugging at the fabric of your outfit. Then you both stripped in a rush, there was no time for gentle undressing or seductive stripping when your body burned for his and his eyes shined with want for you.

Crashing into bed, you tumbled around, uncoordinated and inexperienced with each other’s bodies. He licked at your peaked nipples while your hands caressed his shoulders. Your hair got tangled and his dishevelled in a glorious golden heap you had to run your hands through that very instant. “Mmmmh,” he hummed as your nails scratched lightly against his scalp. His mouth latched on around your nipples as he nestled himself between your thighs. The warmth of his body was a wonder to feel. You moaned before panting his name. “Sinclair, Clair, oh,” you mewled as he suckled and kissed. “Gorgeous,” he whispered before kissing his way from one breast to the other as your back arched.

His hand glided down your side before squeezing your thigh softly. “You are absolutely stunning,” he murmured before kissing his way up your neck in a rush only to captivate you with a look of pure want as he rose above you. “I want you,” you said. “Please,” you continued as you reached down and folded your hand around his straining cock before pumping him in a measured rhythm. He groaned, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as his lips parted on a deep exhale.

You hardened your hand, swiping your thump over his tip where pre-cum had formed. A moan escaped you as he sunk a bit and you could pump his cock while the tip of him stroked your clit — the sensation overwhelming and arousing while not being nearly enough as you burned for him to touch you everywhere.

He dove in, kissing and nipping at your throat, your lips, your cheek and your earlobe. His motions were soft — caressing — yet still fervent and hasty. “I want you, I want you to fill me,” you panted while holding back a whimper as your core contracted around nothing. “Yes,” he panted, groaning in tune with your moans.

He reached down and you lost contact with his cock as he rose a bit between your legs but before a whimper could leave you his fingers stroked your clit and then down. You panted and his fingers dove inside, two from the very start as you were warm and tender for him — yet he asked if it felt good, your moans and nods all the answer you were able to give.

He pumped your cunt, gentle and measured strokes slowly turning more hasty as his hips began to buck and you had to release his cock as he rocked back. “I need you, god, I need you,” he groaned before removing his fingers and grabbing his cock. Before he pushed himself in he hooked you with his eyes. “Clair?” you asked, nearly thrashing beneath him with the tip of his cock right at your entrance and the glorious view of him between your naked thighs everything you had ever dreamt of it to be. “I want you,” he murmured through his ragged breathing. “Tell me you want me to, tell me if you want me to stop, tell me if—” You whimpered. “Please, please just fuck me like I’ve wished for years.”

He needed no more from you than that, it seemed. He pushed forward, stretching you wide as he slowly filled the void you had been clenching around for far too long. “Oh fuck,” you hissed in pleasure while arching your back and pushing your head into the pillow below. You wrapped your legs around him as he leaned forward with a deep moan of pleasure as his hands planted themselves on each side of your head and you got the most spectacular view of his face. The scrunched brows, the parted lips, the slight tilting of his head exposing his neck as he took you all the way — pushing his way to the hilt and filling you completely.

He kept close to you, his hips doing short and quick pumps as he groaned deeply. “You’re perfect,” he murmured as he began picking up speed and your core clenched around him as he pulled further out. “Haaa—!” You whimpered and grabbed at his biceps. “Sinclair, yes, oh yes!” It was all you had ever dreamt of, all you had longed for, and as he leaned forward to hold you close while his hips rocked you back and forth under him you felt as if you’d gone to heaven.

He groaned, holding you tight while angling his hips to take you harder, deeper — how the fuck that was possible you had no idea but by heaven it was amazing. “So good, so so so good,” he purred deeply. “I want to eat you up, lick every inch of you, devour you like the full meal of deliciousness you are, sweet-treat,” he said through moans and groans as he picked up the pace further — rocking the entire bed. “My darling, my Y/n,” he purred before panting wildly.

You were on fire beneath him, holding on to his back while squeezing his hips with your thighs. His pelvis hit your clit as he rocked forward and upwards — pushing you up the bed while deriving a moaned cry from you. “Clair,” you cried out. “I’m— Haaaa!” you stiffened as your core tightened while he kept pummelling you, switching angles and pace in intervals while you both turned warm and misty with sweat. The sweat smell filled your nostrils while the sounds of your bodies joining and the shared pleasure filled the room.

He picked up the pace and you cried out for him. “Yes, yes, oh, fuck,” he groaned through clenched teeth. “So good, you’re so good, so perfect, so perfect,” he murmured as you writhed beneath him, reaching for your peak but holding on for him. “I need— Fuck, Sinclair, please,” you whimpered and he gritted his teeth before slamming his lips against yours while still managing to keep the pace as he took you to heaven.

You stiffened, he groaned into your mouth, and his pace turned into a crazed one. “I’m coming, god, yes, please, yes!” you cried out as an explosion erupted within you, shaking every limb and shooting pulses of pleasure through every fibre. “Hnnnng— Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, fuck!” he groaned as he stilled while you trembled around him and he pulsed inside you. A deep moan vibrated through his chest and into yours as you held on to him and kissed his shoulder sloppily while your high slowly diminished and his body relaxed further atop you.

You were a mess of sweaty body parts and heaving breaths, but what truly had irrevocably been changed was your heart. You kissed everywhere you could reach as he regained his composure and slipped out of you with a slight squelching sound. Hot fluid leaked down your seem only to pool beneath you on the sheets.

Sinclair leaned up, watching you intently with soft eyes and a relaxed face. “Are you alright?” he asked. “Alright?” You scoffed with a smile. “I’m wonderful, darling. Wonderful,” you said quietly as the warmth inside of you softened every part of your body and mind. “As am I, my sweet-treat.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “Now, let’s clean up and have those cookies downstairs. I feel my appetite returning with a vengeance,” he said with a smile so warm and indulgent you could barely keep yourself from bursting into tears at seeing the Sinclair you knew so well...

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: We got some smut, some fluffy and sweet and warm smut 😍👏 I hope you enjoyed the second part of Sinclair’s fic - my first story about him ever 👀🙈 I don’t know if I’ll write more for him in the future, we’ll see how that goes but this was fun to try! IT certainly warmed me up while sitting here with my double layers of clothes and thick slippers along with a blanket wrapped all around me 😂👌

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[en-geneisaxx]

'Please don't say that it's the end for us...'

Pairings: Husband!Hoon x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing (you're just gonna be on a rollercoaster of emotions)

Feat. Jay, Heeseung and Jake of Enhypen, Yeji (Sunghoon's sister) and Jin Ae (y/n and Sunghoon's child

A/n: OMG, I AM SO DAMN EXCITED BC THIS IS GOING TO BE THE FIRST FIC I MAKE. BASICALLY MY DEBUT TO THE ENHABLR WRITER WORLD. I HOPE YOU GUYS WILL ENJOY!!

Tagging my moots who wanted to read: @pockettwinzz @diorsyun @heeslomll @heeslut4life @hoonieshoneymain @rinbowaman @sungvrhs

(Likes, reblogs and/or following will be much appreciated!)

Preview:

Cheating was something you would never do. The thought of going from one man to another, kissing lips that had probably lost its virginity to another woman was disgusting to you.

"JAKE, YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE DICK, YOU KNOW THAT!?" *Ends call*

You grab a fistful of your hair in fustration, your vision blurs; tears threatening to escape.

'𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤.'

You were having those moment where you wanted to disappear for the first time in your marriage. Why did you have to be in such a position?

Your heart clenched, lungs filled with some sort of pressure that you found it impossible to breathe. You wanted to scream, until you heard your child's confused blabbering.

'Eomma?'

She stands; soft chubby hands clinging onto the white, painted wooden frame. Head tilted, those gleaming eyes and perfect looks she got from her father stares at you.

With pity, you pick her up, sitting with her on the edge of your shared bed, nuzzling your head in the plush material. Alas, the locked up emotions rain from your eyes, staining the luxury clothes bought by none other than your husband himself.

'𝑺𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆...'

Those words clear up your fogged mind, consciousness crystal clear.

'𝑺𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍...'

It was until then, you realised your kind-hearted child was kissing away those salty teardrops from your cheeks. You were suprised, how she was so alike to her father. Yet, you were grateful she was: he was amazing, of course.

'Hey Y/n, I-' His eyes widen, struck by the state you were in.

'WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED HERE!?'

You were thankful Jay came. After all, he was Jin Ae's favourite uncle. At least she'll be busy with him, for sure.

'Sunghoon still hasn't come back...' You sob, desperately wanting Sunghoon to just hug you tight and profess his everlasting love to you.

'Something's really happened, hm?'

Jin Ae just claps and giggles, oblivious to the saddening situation that took place. What can you expect from a two-year-old? She may be smart, but she still has a long way to go.

'Jin Ae-ah! Come to Uncle Jay' He exclaims, forcing a smile.

'*groans* Ugh, what's happening? First, I hear y/n shouting and now you're here. Oh, isn't it your daily get-together with Sunghoon?'

'Should've been, yeah.'

You felt bewildered at this point by Yeji's unexpected presence.

'Why are you here Yeji? I don't remember you being here...'

'Hoon called me, asking to watch over you two. Actually, that's weird though: Sunghoon would never leave you two...

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫.'

[danvy121994]

Fracture pt.1 (ghost x f!reader)

Author note: this is my new series, I’m working on it at the moment, so let me know if there’s anything anything wrong with it since English isn’t my first language. Reblogs and Like are appreciated, hope you enjoy the read!

Synopsis: YN is a profiler and her and her team are called to help task force 141 after they realise that the serial killer that they are searching for is connected to a terrorist group that the task force is working to bring down.

TW: (the terrorist group is basically a white supremacy organisation) themes of racism and anti-lgbtqai+ community

“ I feel like I’m gonna get shot at every minute like-“

” Be professional, at least while we work with other teams…Jesus Christ”

The constant back and forth between Sam and Mr. Grey fills the silence in the car as we are being escorted to an undisclosed location in the middle of the British countryside, a military base to be precise. In the past 3 months we have been going after a serial killer that has been targeting minorities all around London. We had an approximate profile of the unsub, or as the media calls them “troubled poet“, hate that name. The profile indicated that they were between 1,80cm to 1,95cm, pretty tall so possibly a man, at least in their thirties judging by the few by standards, even if they were under shock so the information might be slightly wrong, white, and that they had a fascination with humiliation as an example living the bodies often naked and in public spaces, littered with discriminating and racist messages carved on them and the most important factor of them all is that all the victims were non-white or part of the lgbtqai+ community.

We had a main suspect: Johnathan Wood, 37, white, 1,82cm, he expressed a huge hate online towards minorities off all kinds, has been sued two times because of aggressive behavior toward customers that fit the profile of the victims and the last straw for him, which is what we thought was the reason of the killings, was his girlfriend cheating on him with a black woman. We had him in our care, interrogating him, trying to make him admit to the eight murders when we got a call from our tech-team saying that they had found footage of him being at a bar during the time of one of the killings and once in a mall during the time of another, proving his alibi.

We had nothing. Another week had passed and two bodies were found, the killer was accelerating his rate, the media was relentless, questioning our abilities and giving even more notoriety to the killer, inflating his ego. Until one day, when me and my team were looking over evidence trying to find something that we could have missed when my boss got a call by a CIA agent, saying that us and her team were all looking for the same person and that we could help each other out, us with our minds, them with fire.

So this is how me and my team ended up in a military truck being escorted into a secret base, fucking mental. I was looking over the files ,that they gave us after the signed agreement that stated that we could not talk about anything or anyone that we saw, and read that apparently the symbol carved in each of the victims wasn’t just a sign, like we thought, but a simbol, of a cult like terrorist group. Apparently they didn’t know much, so that’s why we are here, to enter inside of these people's heads, dissect them and give them a profile to find them and exterminate them.

After god knows how long, we finally arrive at a stop, a fence with a gate in front of us. After the soldiers show the guards they’re IDs we enter inside the base . We stop in front of the first part of the compound, there’s a group of five people waiting for us outside; I recognise the CIA agent that called Mr. Grey, Agent Kate Laswell,she greets us all with a firm handshake “how was the car ride? No problems I hope?” She says looking at our captain “ all god, no problems” after some little small talk she finally introduces us to the task force we are going to work with, task force 1-4-1. “This is agent Robert Grey, the captain of the team, agent Samuel Dickinson, agent Linda Ross and lastly Doctor Y/N Y/S” we shake the hand of their captain, John price, which then introduces us to his team, sergeant Soap, sergneant Gaz and lieutenant Ghost; they all had aliases, safety reason I suppose, but the one that intrigued me the most was Ghost, that was wearing an actual skull mask.

The profiler part of my brain turned on and I immediately started questioning to myself, why the mask? If it was just to hide his identity, which the other didn’t do, then why was it so impractical, it must be heavy, right? Insecurities maybe? Like he doesn’t feel scary enough? But I mean… he’s a fucking unit…so maybe it's for a disfigured face? So still insecurities but different reasons, or maybe its a sign, a mark of recognition, who knows. Now, what I didn’t notice is the fact that since this thought started I never took my eyes of off him and I didn’t notice until he was right in front of me saying “you got a fucking problem?”, he didn’t seem angry but early calm, “c'mon mate, be a little bit more friendly, will ya?” Said the man that identifies as Soap. Ghost just grunted going back to where he was before, I think I heard him muttering under his breath “fuckin hell..”. Weird dude, but the others seemed alright I guess.

As we enter inside the buildings to go put our luggage in our private spaces, I see Sam, my best friend coming towards me and leaning against my ear to tell me something, which is never a good sign “can I be honest with you right now?” “…yeah?” “Smash.” I can’t believe him sometimes. “Honey…what?” I say giggling with him “oh Y/N, they could choke me right now and would thank them" "you are unbelievable”.

After giggling the entire time during the tiny tour of the base and getting death stares by Mr. Grey we finally arrive at our respective rooms. After unpacking and taking a shower I go straight to bed, thinking about the killings, the profile of the killer and assimilating the scarce informations about the cult that we have. I go to sleep with these thoughts plaguing my mind, hopeful to return to my somewhat normal life as soon as possible.

Author note pt.2: @doedearlizz you told me you would like to read it so I tagged you in the first chapter, let me know what you think! And sorry if I tagged you but I don’t know how to respond to comments yet.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

No Distance Left to Run | Part 3 | S.R

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Chapter Summary - With your secrets coming to light you decide to take some time off to get your life in order. And that includes putting some between you and Spencer.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / BAU Fem! Reader

Category - friends to lovers | mutual pining | angst with happy ending | smut minors DNI

Warnings - spoilers for 14.05 Tall Man, break ups, abusive relationship, making out, bruises, scars, readers insecurities, tears, cheating, fingering, handjob, allusions to sex, swearing, brief mention of past drug addiction, brief mention of prison.

WC - 7.7k

Part 3 - Hide and Seek

Present Day 

Spencer caught up with Max in the reception hall, stopping her leaving with a hand around her wrist. 

When she turned to face him he saw the unshed tears behind her eyes. 

“I’m really sorry you had to hear that.” He swallowed. 

“Me too.” She nodded sadly. 

In his peripheral vision he noticed someone pass by, dressed in a caterer's uniform. He waited for them to leave before he spoke again. 

“I’ve been in love with her for so long it’s just become a part of who I am.” He confessed. “I never let myself get close to anyone on the off chance she might have one day decided she felt the same. Just before I met you we…we, uh, slept together and she just up and left while I was asleep and never mentioned it again. It told me everything I needed to know, and so I made the decision to finally move on. I opened myself up to being with someone else and there you were. 

I really like you Max, I think we could have had something really amazing. But I can’t lie to you and tell you that I’m not always going to have feelings for Y/N, because at this point I’m sure they will never go away. And that’s not fair on you.” 

“No, it's not.” She shook her head. 

“I got held hostage yesterday, Y/N and I did.” He sighed, scratching at the back of his neck. “The unsub liked to play truth or dare. He had a gun pointed at her and made her confess to a secret she would never admit outloud.” 

Max narrowed her eyes on him, despite not being a profiler she could easily read between the lines.

“She told you she has feelings for you?” 

“She did.” Spencer nodded. “I still don’t know if she meant it or not, or if she was just trying to shock the guy.”

“Spencer,” Max sighed deeply. “For a genius you are pretty dumb sometimes.” 

“Uh, I’m sorry?” Spencer’s brows furrowed at her.

“The first time you introduced me to your team, I could tell within five minutes that she had feelings for you. I’m no expert in reading human behaviour but I can read women. She barely said two words to me, she wouldn’t look me in the eyes. And every time I looked at her, she was staring longingly at you.” Max shrugged. 

“I’m not even sure any of that matters.” He shook his head. “She’s married, albeit not happily. She has two wonderful kids. It’s not my place to break up a family.” 

“It sounds like that family broke itself up.” 

“You heard a lot more of that conversation than I realised.” He rolled his lip between his teeth. “I’m not gonna be the guy that swoops in when her husband has just been arrested for trying to kill her.” 

“I can’t tell you what to do.” Max shrugged. “But fifteen years is a really long time to carry a torch for someone. I think the two of you at least owe yourselves an honest conversation.” 

After all this time? Always.

“I really am sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, that was the last thing I ever wanted to do.”

“I’ll bounce back.” Her lip quipped into something close to a smile. “It sucks, but I’ll bounce back.” 

Spencer dared to step closer to her, placing his hand on her lower back and leaning in to gently kiss her cheek. When he stepped back the two of them looked at each other somewhat wistfully for a moment or two, silent goodbyes passing between them. Eventually Max took a few steps backwards, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“Take care of yourself, Spencer.”

“You too.” He nodded and watched as she turned on her heels and continued towards the door. 

He fell back against the nearest wall, resting his head on it and looking up at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure how to begin processing everything. In the space of twenty four hours you’d told him you loved him, he’d broken up with Max and he’d discovered your husband was in prison for almost murdering you. 

How had you managed to keep that from him? He could usually read you so well, how he had not seen it? 

He thought back over the last five days since he’d returned from teaching. The first two you’d been lost in somewhat of a daze, as though you were sleepwalking with your eyes open. 

By the third day something shifted. You seemed happier, lighter even. He’d seen a smile on your face he hadn’t seen in years. 

Now he knew why that was. It was the smile of a woman who had finally gotten out of the clutches of her abuser. 

Another thought hit him then with startling clarity.

Five nights ago he’d had a missed call from you. He’d asked you about it the next day but you’d insisted it must have been a pocket dial. 

You’d called him the night Jared was arrested. Did you try to call him with your husband's hand around your throat? Was it after? Maybe even before? 

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. In all the years he’d known you he didn’t think he’d ever not answered a phone call from you. And the one time you’d needed him most, he’d been…indisposed. 

He kept his eyes screwed tightly shut, half hoping he may disappear into the wall his back was pressed up against. 

You’d needed him and he hadn’t been there. For the first time in fifteen years, Spencer had chosen someone else over you. 

***

Five Days Ago

Max had been insistent that she and Spencer take things slow. She’d been hurt in the past, disappointed when she hurried into something. 

And Spencer was happy to oblige. At least he had been for the most part. 

He was a gentleman, and it wasn’t as though he was used to getting regular sex and therefore it shouldn’t have made a difference whether or not they were sleeping together. 

Before his night spent with you in Varnville, it had been a painfully long time since he’d gotten laid, well before his arrest in Mexico. And even before then it wasn’t as though he’d been sleeping around or anything. 

Truthfully Spencer had only ever slept with a handful of women. Not even a handful really. He could count his sexual encounters on one hand and still have fingers left over. 

It was a combination of things. For one, Spencer didn’t relish the idea of having sex for the sake of it. Sure it would be nice to feel close to someone but if he didn’t have some kind of preexisting feelings for them then he wasn’t interested. Secondly, even if he did like the idea of casual sex, he was far too awkward to initiate such a thing.

And thirdly, Spencer never did like the thought of having sex with anyone who wasn’t you.

So it hadn’t bothered him that Max wanted to take it slow. At first. But after four months of nothing but heavy make out sessions, he was craving more. And thank god that Max seemed to be on the same page.

He’d taken her for dinner and afterwards he’d suggested going back to his place. He knew she saw through the innocent seeming offer for what it really was but he’d been delighted when she’d smiled and agreed. 

He’d been full of nervous anticipation on the cab ride to his apartment, thinking back to the state in which he might have left his home. Were there dishes in the sink? Books scattered around the place? Did he even make his bed?

Do I have any condoms?

They’d barely breached the threshold of his apartment before he was kissing her fiercely, letting her know his true intentions. And thank god she didn’t seem to mind. 

She’d led him to his bedroom by his tie and he followed like some kind of lost puppy. Once inside the room, gratefully he had at least made his bed, they started undressing each other. 

Down to their underwear he guided her back to the bed and laid down on top of her, kissing her while his hand wandered the planes of her body. 

She was moaning into his mouth, arching her back as his hand wandered lowered, wasting no time in dipping beneath the waistband of her panties. 

He was grinding against her thigh to relieve a little friction as his hand moved between her legs. As he did so, his phone rudely started bleating from across the room. 

He chose to ignore it, burying his face into the crook of Max’s neck whilst pressing two fingers against her entrance. 

“Don’t you need to get that?” She panted. 

“Right now? Absolutely not.” He spoke into her skin. 

“What if it’s the BAU?” 

“I’m not due back until tomorrow. If it’s urgent they’ll keep calling. For now, I have more pressing things to take care of.” 

“Spencer I really think you should-” Max’s sentence petered out to a moan when Spencer dove his fingers inside of her. 

Whoever was calling could wait. This was much more urgent. 

***

Present Day

“You know, don’t you?” You asked Penelope as the bubbly blonde hugged her god children. Penelope looked up at you over their heads. “You’re looking at me with that kind of pity we use on victims.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I was worried about you.” She gave Adeline and Finley another squeeze before she let them go. 

“Does anyone else know?” 

“Reid.” She rolled her lip between her teeth somewhat guiltily. 

“Please don’t tell anyone else. Not yet. I will tell them but not today.” You pleaded. 

“Of course.” She nodded. 

“Uncle Spencer!” Adie suddenly chirupped, dashing towards the dejected looking man who was quick to plaster a smile on his face.

“Adie!” He held his arms open for her as your daughter launched herself at him. “Gosh it’s been so long, you've gotten so big.” 

“I’m the third tallest in my class.” She grinned as she wrapped her arms around his waist. 

“No kidding.” He hugged her back. 

Finely sidled up to them, looking a little deflated he wasn’t getting the same treatment from his favourite uncle. 

Spencer patted Adie’s back and she let him go so her brother could say hello. 

“Hey there little man.” Spencer once again held his arms open and Finley responded by jumping up and Spencer just managed to catch the five year old as he wrapped his legs around his waist. 

Spencer made a small grunting sound of surprise, cradling the young boy against him. 

“Missed you uncle Spencer.” Fin buried his head against Spencer's shoulder. 

“I missed you too buddy.” Spencer held him tightly. 

“My daddy’s gone away.” He mumbled against Spencer’s suit jacket. 

Spencer’s eyes found yours and he smiled sadly at you. 

“Yeah, I heard about that. Are you ok?” He spoke softly. 

You both knew he wasn’t talking to Fin, even Garcia knew it. You nodded your head as your arms snaked around your body. 

“I miss him.” Fin sniffled. 

“I don’t.” Adie huffed unceremoniously. “He was mean to mom.” 

Your chest tightened. You hated the way your daughter knew what was going on. You’d only ever wanted to protect your children from the world and it had backfired. 

“Adie,” you whispered her name. “Please stop saying things like that in front of your brother. We talked about this.” 

“Fine.” She huffed again. “Can I go find Henry and Michael?” 

“Please,” you nodded. “Fin, sweetheart?”

He looked up from Spencer’s shoulder as you approached, placing a gentle hand on your son's back. 

“Yes mommy?” 

“You’re too big for uncle Spencer to carry you like that. Can you get down for me, please?” 

“He’s ok.” Spencer tried to insist even though he looked like he was struggling. 

“Yeah, I’m ok.” Fin agreed with him. 

Garcia sensed the looks passing between you and Spencer while she rolled her lip in her teeth. She tottered forward, closer to the three or you. 

“Hey, Fin? How do you want to help me with a top secret wedding day mission?” She tried to make it sound exciting. 

It must have worked as Finley’s eyes widened as they flicked between you and his Aunty Penelope. 

“Can I?’ He asked you tentatively.

“Of course.” You nodded. 

He wriggled in Spencer’s arms and Spencer placed him back on his feet, subtly trying to stretch his back once he was unburdened from your son. 

Fin took hold of Penelope’s hand and she shot you a smile as she headed off with him. 

Caterers still milled about on the patio, but for the most part you and Spencer were alone. For the first time he allowed himself to take you in. 

You wore a figure hugging, strapless purple dress that stopped just below your knees. Your make-up was flawless, your hair styled to perfection. 

You hugged your arms around your body again and that’s when he noticed it. The silver band on your wrist caught the light, the tiny golden snitch sparkling. 

His stomach coiled into knots. You hadn’t worn it in more years than he could count. 

Did it mean something? Did the fact you were wearing it now mean something for the two of you? Were you trying to tell him something? 

His eyes landed back on yours and you could see all the questions running through his mind. 

“I, uh…I really don’t want to talk about it. Not here. Please?” You shook your head. 

“What don’t you want to talk about?” He took a half step closer to you. “The fact that your husband was arrested for almost killing you or that you told me you loved me?” 

“Both. Neither. I know we have to talk but does it have to be now?” You begged him. 

“You almost died.” 

“Which time?” You offered him a meek smile. “We’re FBI Agents. Almost dying is kind of a regular occurance.”

“Not in your own home. Not at the hands of your own husband.” He took another half step forward. “You called me that night. I didn’t answer.”

“Please don’t beat yourself up over that. It was after the fact. The weight of it all hit me and I just needed to talk to someone. But it’s fine, please don’t feel bad.” 

“I was with Max.” He shrugged. “We were…it doesn’t matter what we were doing.” 

“You think I can’t read between those lines?” You chuckled dryly. 

“Right, of course.” He exhaled through his nose. “I should have answered. You are more important to me than anything Max and I were doing.” 

“It’s ok, really. I don’t need you protecting me all the time.”

“Well that’s too bad because I’m gonna do it anyway.” He shrugged lightly with a soft half-smile.

He took another step closer to you and raised his hand to your neck. You’d done a really good job covering the bruises with a combination of foundation and concealer, something you’d had to grow adept at. And maybe it was simply in Spencer’s imagination, but he swore he could see the purple marks peeking through the make-up. 

His fingers brushed lightly against your skin and you sucked in a breath at the sensation. Goosebumps erupted on your flesh at his featherlight touch. 

“I really wish you would have let me help you.” He whispered.

“I know. But if I’d left he would have come after us. It never would have ended. I needed proof, I needed to get him in a compromised position so that when they arrested him, the charges would stick.” 

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed and he dropped his hand to his side again. 

“You set him up? You purposefully put yourself in danger?” He looked incredulous.

“It was the only way.” You shrugged. “You put the idea in my head a year ago when you talked about the statistics of domestic abuse. A gun being present increases the chances of homicide by five hundred percent. I had to bide my time, pick the best moment. Before we left for the case in Lewiston, Adie said something interesting. And I decided to be frank with her…”

…“Daddy did that, didn’t he?” 

“Wh-what?” You were quick to pull your sleeve back up. “What makes you think that, sweet pea?” 

“I saw him. I saw him shove you. And it’s not the first time.”

“You’re too smart for your own good.” You smiled sadly at her. 

“I’m right though, aren’t I?” She pouted.

“Yes,” your eyes welled with tears, hating to involve her in this. “Sweetheart, can you do something for me?”

“Anything mommy.” She nodded. 

“If you ever see daddy hurting mommy again, I want you to call 9-1-1. Tell them I’m an FBI agent and they will get here faster. Can you do that for me?” You stroked her hair back off of her face while she nodded frantically…

“...I packed a bag, I knew he’d find it. I knew it would anger him, the thought of me taking his kids away. I deliberately didn’t put my firearm away in the safe that night in case I needed to use it. He wasn’t supposed to get hold of it, that wasn’t part of the plan. But I made sure to anger him enough for him to raise his voice. Adie is a light sleeper. He needed to be caught in the act. I hate that I used my daughter like that but it was never going to end. Not until I was dead or he was arrested.” 

Spencer took in your words, processing them all in his mind. He could tell how hard it must have been for you to put that responsibility on Adie but he’d worked enough cases of domestic violence to know what a vicious cycle it is. 

You were right, if Jared wasn’t arrested it could very well result in your being killed at the hands of your husband. And then it would be too late. 

His hand raised again, this time he cupped the back of your neck and used his grip to pull you closer to him. 

You fell against him, instantly wrapping your arms around his waist while he did the same. 

He inhaled the scent of your shampoo. The last time he’d been this close to you was seven months ago in a hotel room in Varnville. 

He got a little lost at the mere thought. 

***

Seven Months Ago

“I married the wrong man.” You whimpered, glancing at your left hand on Spencer’s shoulder and the silver wedding band on your finger. “I knew it when he proposed to me. I knew it when I was walking down that aisle. And you knew it too, you were just too polite to tell me the truth.” 

“Yeah,” he nodded stiffly. “You did marry the wrong man.” 

A silent understanding passed between the two of you, the kind of understanding that existed only between two people who knew each other inside and out. 

And when he leaned in closer and his lips brushed against yours, it felt right. It felt like the most normal thing in the whole world. 

It continued to feel that way when he deepened the kiss, nearly fifteen years worth of feelings coming out in a single kiss. As he held you close he whispered against your lips, “after all this time? Always.” 

And you finally understood what he meant. 

He held your face tenderly as though you might break if he wasn’t careful, crumble to dust in his hands. Perhaps you would. His lips were slightly rough against yours from copious chewing, the frantic nature in which he kissed you caused your teeth to knock together. 

His tongue hungrily explored your mouth with the desperation of a man who had thought of nothing but doing this since the first time he laid eyes on you. He started moving you towards the bed and you complied without a second thought. 

His hands ghosted down your neck and across your shoulders until he reached the top button of your blouse you’d thrown back on before hurriedly leaving your room earlier. He continued to kiss you whilst working on the buttons but he felt you tense up a little.

When he reached the last button, you tore your lips from his, gasping a little for air. When he opened his eyes he saw yours were full of unshed tears.

“Are you ok? Did I cross a line?” His puffy kiss-swollen lips were downturned as he looked at you. 

You swallowed thickly, chewing on the inside of your cheek. 

“I’m scared of what you’re going to say.” You whispered, your voice cracking as you spoke.

“What I’m going to say about what?” He frowned at you in confusion.

You took a breath, a small tear escaping your eyes as you took a step back and shrugged the open shirt off of your shoulders. 

Spencer’s eyes cast downwards to your torso, momentarily distracted by your bare breasts, which he had imagined so many times but in reality they were so much more incredible. But he didn’t have a chance to give them the attention they deserved.

His stomach lurched wildly as he took in your entire body. You saw the way his jaw clenched and he violently gnawed on his lip. 

He took in each and every scar adorned on your body at the hands of your husband. A splotchy healed burn similar to the one on your forearm only larger spread across the left side of your stomach, an old, healed scar nestled against the swell of your right breast, another slightly smaller one on your rib cage. There was a fresh purple bruise on the other side of your other rib cage.

He rubbed his hand across his stubbly jaw as he looked back to meet your eyes. A few more tears were rolling down your cheeks now. 

“I can go,” you shrugged. “I know they’re hideous. I’m sorry.” 

“Hey,” Spencer moved closer to you, cupping your face in his hands again. “There is not a single hideous thing about you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, Y/N.” 

“After all this time?” You smiled a shaky smile, partially quoting The Deathly Hallows.

“Always.” He finished, kissing you again with more passion than before. 

You allowed him to help you back to the bed where he didn’t take his lips off of yours for a second. Your hands ran down his sides, finding the hem of his t-shirt and tugging it upward.

He sat back so you could get the garment over his head and threw aside. He looked down on you, taking in your scars again. You tried to shy away, tried to hide them with your arms but he simply pulled them away.

“Let me show you how beautiful I think you are.” He mumbled, shuffling a little down the bed. 

His lips ghosted across your skin until they found the scar on the side of your breast. He gently pressed his lips to the old wound, placing delicate kisses along the length of it. His hand was on your side, fingertips brushing over the bruises lining your rib cage. You moaned a little, closing your eyes and giving over to the sensation. 

He moved his lips lower, towards the scar on your other side and treated that with as much caution as the first. And then they trailed lower and tenderly kiss every inch of the old burn across your stomach. 

He was so compassionate with you it forced a few more tears from your eyes. You weren’t sure anyone had ever treated you with this level of care before and you’d never realised how much you’d needed that. 

When he sat back again on his haunches, his face was a little flushed and it only took one glance downwards to see the tent pitching in his pants to understand why. You reached for him, gripping the waistband of the flannel pyjama pants and pulling him closer. You palmed him through the flimsy fabric and he bucked against your hand, hissing a little. 

He glanced down and you saw him tense a little. When he met your eye again he had an unsure expression on his features. 

“Could you…do you think you could…” He nodded his head towards your hand still palming him and the wedding band adorned on your finger. “Is it too much to ask for you to take it off?” 

You snatched your hand away suddenly, balling it into a fist and looking somewhat forlornly at the ring. 

“I…I’ve never taken it off before. Not once since I got married.” You swallowed. 

“I understand.” Spencer sighed. “But I don’t think I can do this and look at your wedding ring.” 

You looked between him and the ring. The band symbolised your marriage to a man who had caused the scars in which Spencer had so lovingly kissed. You uncurled your fingers, suddenly not caring about that stupid piece of metal. Not while Spencer was here, looking at you the way he was and making you feel safe and loved for the first time in years.

You tugged the ring off in one swift move and leant over to drop it on the nightstand. You drew Spencer back in for a kiss before you could dwell too much on what you were doing. 

You palmed him through his pants again while he kissed you, his own hands wandering to your slacks and popping the button. 

He sat back once more so he could help you out of your pants and then wriggled free of his own, leaving you both in just your underwear. 

He breathed you in again, trying to commit you to memory. He’d spent so many years imagining this moment and he didn’t want to miss a second of it. 

“Y/N I…” he trailed off, not allowing himself to finish that sentence that could destroy this before it had begun. 

He wanted to say it, he’d wanted to say it for nearly fifteen years. But somehow you knew what he wanted to say. 

“I know Spence,” you nodded. “I know.” 

He smiled a little sorrowfully at you before he laid on top of you and kissed you again. His fingers brushed over your scars but continued lower and when they dipped beneath the waistband of your panties you whined against his lips. 

He ran his fingers between your legs, hissing when he realised how wet you were. He gathered your slick on his fingers, feeling his cock throb at the sensation. 

He was careful when he pressed two fingers against your entrance, hesitating as though he thought you may change your mind. 

As encouragement, your hand wandered between your bodies and straight inside his boxers, taking his shaft in your hand. 

He growled against your mouth, nibbling on your bottom lip as a way of thanking you. He cautiously pushed his fingers past your entrance until they were buried deep inside of you. 

Your thighs clenched around his hand when his fingertips brushed against your cervix. He moved his lips down to your neck while you started slowly stroking him. 

His hips moved of their own accord, gently thrusting back and forth into your hand. His fingers dove in and out of you, each time pounding slightly harder against your bundle of nerves. 

You were writhing beneath him on the bed, your walls fluttering around his fingers and your moans filling the room like the most beautiful song he’d ever heard. His head was already leaking on your hand, it had been so long since someone had touched him like this. 

You used your free hand to cup his jaw, moving his face so you could meet his gaze. 

“Spence, I need more.” You whimpered, still stroking him leisurely. 

“O-ok.” He nodded, plunging his fingers deep inside of you and scissoring the digits a little.

You mewled, you back arching off the bed and squeezing the base of his shaft tightly in your hand. 

“Do you have…?” You panted. 

“Uh, yeah.” He nodded, his cheeks flushing red. “Luke’s been trying to uh, get me laid for a while now. Insisted I keep some on me.” 

He cautiously withdrew his fingers and you whined a little as he did so. You removed your hand from him and sat up on your elbows.

“Trying?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“And failing. Miserably.” He inhaled deeply, cheeks turning a darker shade of red. “I haven’t had sex since long before I was arrested. And I have absolutely no idea why I’m telling you that.” 

“It’s been a long time since I…since I…” you trailed off, stifling a sob that wanted to wrack your body. “Since I’ve chosen to do this.”

“Oh Jesus,” Spencer frowned at you. “Y/N I-”

“Please don’t. Please don’t feel sorry for me. I want this Spencer, I need this. Please?” You insisted, your eyes frantically begging him. 

He inhaled shakily, nodding his head. He kissed you softly before pushing himself up from the bed and finding his satchel on the chair. He quickly located the stash of condoms Luke had forced upon him, thankful for that fact now. He plucked one out and turned back to you as you were wiggling your panties over your hips. 

He looked at you in awe, laid out naked for him like this. He didn’t feel as though he deserved you, perhaps no one did. You were too good for this world. 

“You’re sure about this?” He asked as he padded back over. “Because I won’t be offended if you want to stop.” 

“Spencer, let me be clear,” you looked him dead in the eyes. “I want this. I want you. I want this like I have never wanted anything else in my life. Please? Please make me feel good?” 

He nodded with a sad smile as he came closer to the bed. He couldn’t deny you that, not when you looked at him that way. 

He removed his underwear before climbing back on the bed, kneeling over you and taking one last opportunity to breathe you in. 

Somehow he already knew that this didn’t have a happy ending. 

***

Present Day

You listened to Emily’s tear jerking speech about twin flames, trying to hide your misty eyes behind the head of your son who was falling asleep on your lap. Adeline sat next to you, her hand in yours offering it a soft squeeze every now and then. 

“Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it takes a parallel universe or something. But the thing about twin flames is that nothing can keep them apart, they are a magic unto themselves. And together they light the way for all of us.” 

You felt Spencer’s eyes on you across the room but refused to meet his gaze. If you did you would surely crumble and now was not the time. There would be plenty of time to ruminate on the last few days later, but for now you had to hold it together a little while longer.

After the speech everyone took to the dancefloor and Finley was completely out by this point, snoring against your shoulder. And honestly you were pleased because it gave you an excuse to leave. 

You carried your sleeping son over towards the happy couple with Adie in tow, gripping your forearm. You said your goodbyes and congratulated them once more before taking your children home.

You tried to make a quick getaway but of course he found you, as you fought with trying to get your jacket on whilst cradling your son at the same time. 

“Let me help you.” Spencer hurried over, seeing you struggle.

“I’m fine, really.” You responded as you proceeded to drop your jacket on the floor. “Goddamn.” 

Spencer rolled his eyes and came closer, prying the young boy from your arms and holding him while you picked up your jacket. Being such a sound sleeper, Fin didn’t even notice the handoff. 

“Thank you.” You slid your jacket on. 

“No worries.” Spencer shrugged. “Need a ride?” 

“I have a car.” You found your hand being grabbed by your daughter and she held you tightly. 

When Adie grabbed your hand his stomach coiled as his attention was directed to your ring again. It wasn’t the first time today he noticed you still wore it. 

He supposed it was still fresh, but he hated to see it there as though nothing had happened. 

“Right, of course.” Spencer rolled his eyes. “Let me help you outside.” 

You wanted to resist but it was easier to just let him help. You and Adie led the way while Spencer carried Fin towards your car. Adie got herself situated in the front seat while Spencer cautiously lowered Fin into the back and got his belt buckled. 

He closed the door and looked back at you, a somewhat melancholy expression on his face. 

“You want any company?” He asked with a slight frown.

“I have two kids, I always have company.” You folded your arms over your chest.

“I meant like, adult company.” He spoke but quickly pulled a face. “Not in the way that sounds. Jeez, I swear that was not meant to sound like a come on.” 

“Spence,” you sighed wistfully. “I think you and I need some time apart right now. Or at the very least I need some time apart from you. I really need to focus myself on my kids right now, try and figure out what happens next. Quite frankly I don’t have the head space to deal with whatever is going on between us right now.” 

You saw the hurt spread to his features, hurt and a small hint of understanding. 

“Y/N?” He rolled his lip between his teeth. “Truth or dare?” 

You sucked in a breath, closing your eyes for a fraction of a second before opening them and looking at him again.

“Truth.” You croaked. 

“Did you mean it?” 

Your eyes flit down to your bracelet, eyeing the inscription for a moment or two before you looked back at Spencer. There was a simple answer and a complicated one, neither of which you wanted to get into right now.

“Spencer I-”

“Mommy, I’m hungry.” Adie’s whiny tone pierced the closed windows of the car. 

You looked at her over your shoulder and nodded with a soft smile. 

“I should go.” You told Spencer. 

“Right,” Spencer nodded stiffly. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Actually, you won’t.” You cleared your throat. “I told you, I need to focus on my kids right now. Emily’s given me a few weeks off. She doesn’t know why but thankfully she didn’t ask too many questions.”

“Are we going to be ok?” He frowned at you. 

“I…”

“Mom!” Adie whined again. 

“Two seconds, honey!” You called back. “I don’t know, Spencer. My husband of ten years just got arrested for trying to choke me to death, so excuse me if I don’t have an answer for you right now.” 

You turned your back on him and opened the driver’s side door, but before you could slide inside his hand was on your shoulder. Your back went rigid and you were clenching your jaw when you looked back at him. 

“What? What do you want now, Spencer?” Your eyes misted over with tears. 

“At the end of the day, despite everything that has happened, you are my best friend Y/N. You are my best friend above all else. If you need anything, anything at all, please call me. You’re not in this alone.” He reached out and briefly brushed his fingertips against your cheek before stepping back out of reach to stop him doing it again. 

You nodded but he saw in your eyes you had no intention of doing so. 

“I gotta go.” You said instead. You looked down at your bracelet again and with a sigh you fumbled with the clasp and got it undone. “I shouldn’t have…I don’t even know why I did.” 

Spencer dumbly let you place the bracelet in his hand and simply watched as you slid inside the car and closed the door. 

You started the engine and soon your vehicle was pulling away whilst he was left staring down at the gift he’d bestowed upon you on your wedding day. 

A single tear escaped his eyes as he curled his fingers around it. That one gesture told him everything you hadn’t said. 

Whether or not you’d meant what you said whilst being held hostage was irrelevant. The act of giving him back the bracelet meant no matter what you felt for him the two of you would never be together. 

You may as well have handed him back his barely beating, tattered heart. 

***

Six Months Ago 

“I get why JJ’s been on edge but this ain’t your hometown. Why the face?” Luke startled Spencer out of his stare down with the coffee machine. 

The Tall Man case had them in JJ’s hometown of East Allegheny where she’d been dragged down into a torrent of old memories surrounding her sisters suicide. 

Meanwhile, Spencer was stuck in his own tidal wave, he had been for weeks now. He was still reeling from the events in Varnville, the fact that you’d barely spoken to him since. 

“I’m just tired, I guess.” He shrugged it off but Luke wasn’t buying it. 

“You’ve been just tired every time I’ve asked you for the last month. What’s up? You seemed to be getting better after…”

“After I spent three months in prison?” Spencer fielded when Luke trailed off. 

“Yeah,” Luke smiled sadly. “What’s going on with you, man?” 

“It’s complicated.” Spencer let out a sigh. “I did something kinda dumb and I don’t know how to fix it.” 

“You don’t know how to fix something?” Luke chuckled. “Impossible.” 

Spencer averted his gaze, rolling his lip between his teeth. Luke scrutinised him, reading his body language before a smile of understanding tugged at his lips. 

“You met someone.” Luke mused. 

Spencer’s eyes shot back up, wide like a guilty child. 

“Kind of?” Spencer huffed. “But I messed it up before it had a chance to begin.” 

“Did you at least get laid?” Luke tilted his head curiously.

“Seriously, Alvez?” Spencer groaned. 

“You so did.” Luke laughed, clapping a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “About time.” 

“Yeah well it’s not likely to ever happen again.” 

“What did you do?” Luke cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Why would you assume I did something?” 

“I don’t know. Did you?” 

“I…I don’t think so?” Spencer’s face scrunched up. 

“Are you bad in bed?” Luke shrugged. 

“How would I know?” Spencer huffed again in exasperation. 

“Trust me, there’s only so much a woman can fake.” 

“Oh jeez, I don’t wanna have this conversation with you.” Spencer shook his head. “But I don’t think I’m bad in bed. I at least thought she was enjoying herself. It wasn’t that. Don’t make me question my…performance.” 

“There’ll be other women, Reid.” Luke patted his shoulder again. 

Spencer sucked in a breath, his bottom lip pouting slightly. 

“I don’t want there to be other women.” He whispered. 

“Oh,” Luke looked a little taken aback. “You like her.” 

“Hmm.” Spencer answered noncommittally. 

“I wanted you to get laid, not fall in love. Jeez, Reid, are your dick and your heart somehow connected?” Luke shook his head. 

“That’s anatomically impossible.” Spencer rolled his eyes. “But thanks for the graphic image.” 

“Only you could sleep with a woman you barely know and fall for her. Your heart's too big, man.” 

“I do know her.” He spoke quietly, his eyes trailing off across the station as you entered with a tray of coffees in hand. 

He watched you move across the room, it was almost impossible to take his eyes off of you. Luke followed his gaze and when he saw you he groaned. 

“No, no you didn’t.” Luke slapped him on the back, forcing Spencer’s eyes back on him.

“Didn’t what?”

“Y/N?” Luke hissed. “She’s married!” 

“Would you keep your voice down!” Spencer scalded him. 

“So it’s true? Fuck, Reid, really?” 

“It was a momentary lapse in judgement, I agree.” Spencer sighed. “But I have been in love with her for well over a decade. An opportunity presented itself and I…I…oh man I fucked up.”

“No kidding.” Luke rubbed his chin. “I thought you were meant to be a genius?” 

“I’m a provable genius. But I’m still entitled to make mistakes every once in a while. Being a genius didn’t stop me from getting addicted to dilaudid, it didn’t stop me from going to Mexico and falling into Cat’s trap. And it didn’t stop me from sleeping with a married woman.” Spencer raked his fingers through his hair. 

“When you put it like that, I’m not sure I see an upside to having a high IQ.” 

“It’s incredibly frustrating, trust me. You still make dumb mistakes, and you have the added bonus of having to analyse them in great detail after.” 

“I’ll stick to living in ignorance.” Luke nodded just as a set of footsteps approached. 

They looked over just as a head of dark hair was heading their way. 

“Are you two ladies gonna stand around all day braiding each other's hair or you gonna help us catch an unsub?” Emily spoke, mildly frustrated, before she was leaving as quickly as she arrived. 

“Ladies?” Luke muttered.

“Hair braiding?” Spencer subconsciously touched his locks. 

“What is it about this town that is putting everyone in a bad mood?” Luke clucked. 

Spencer simply sighed and started following in Emily’s footsteps before his Unit Chief could get any more annoyed. 

***

The jet was eerily silent on its trip back to Quantico the following day. It was late and everyone was asleep, mostly everyone. 

From his position curled up on the couch he could see you down the back of the aircraft, staring out the window as you soared through the clouds.

Realistically, Spencer knew to leave you alone. But just knowing something didn’t mean he agreed with it. 

He couldn’t stay away no matter how he tried and eventually after fighting it for over half the flight, he swung his legs off the couch and stood up. 

He smoothed out his shirt which the top few buttons were now undone on, his tie long ago removed. He quietly padded down the small aisle in his mismatched socks, careful not to wake the rest of his team members although at a glance they mostly all wore headphones or earplugs. 

You didn’t look away from the window but he noticed the slight tensing in your shoulders as he got close. You still didn’t look at him when he sat opposite you, half wondering if you stayed perfectly still if he might leave you alone. 

You had no such luck. 

“Uh, hi.” He whispered quietly. 

You swallowed and tore your eyes off of the window and looked at him. You didn’t speak, simply folded your arms over your chest. 

“Is this just how things are gonna be between us now?” He huffed a little, barely able to contain his frustration. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Your voice was croaky. 

“Yes, you do.” He shook his head. “You’ve hardly spoken to me since…since…”

“Please don’t say it.” You sighed. 

“The thought of what we did is so disgusting to you, you can’t say it out loud?” His eyebrows furrowed heavily at you.

“I’m married, Spencer.” You hissed. “It shouldn’t have happened and that’s all there is to say. I thought you would know better than to…do what we did.” 

“Oh I’m to blame?” He looked incredulous. “You’re the one with the husband, Y/N. I’m very much single. I didn’t cheat on anyone.” 

“Stop it.” You spat. “Just stop it.” 

“I don’t know why you’re pretending it didn’t mean anything.” 

“I’m not pretending.” You scoffed. 

“So it wasn’t about me? You’d have cheated on your husband with anyone, is that what you’re saying?” He glared at you angrily.  

“I’m not talking about this.” You shook your head, turning your attention back out of the window. 

“Well I am. And if you don’t wanna talk you can listen.” He leaned forward on the little table separating you. “I know you and I know you wouldn’t have done that with just anyone. I think maybe you feel something for me and you don’t want to admit it because of Jared and your kids. I get it, I do. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though. And now it looks like I’m going to lose my best friend because you can’t even look me in the eye anymore. 

You know how I feel about you. We’ve never talked about it but you know, you always have. So if it was just about sex you could have chosen anyone. But you didn’t, you came to me. And to be honest I think that’s pretty cruel of you to use me that way when you know exactly how I feel about you.” 

“Are you done?” You looked back at him with a scowl. “Because I am done listening. I’m sorry if it meant more to you than it did to me, ok? I’m sorry if I hurt you or whatever. But I have too much going on in my life as it is. The last thing I need is an invite to the Spencer Reid pity party. Can you go and be all brooding somewhere else?” 

You saw the hurt wash over his face at your vicious words. For a fraction of a second you felt bad but honestly you couldn’t let yourself be swallowed into his sad, doe eyes. Maybe he needed a harsh dose of reality every now and again. 

“Goddamnit,” he hissed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry that you’ve found yourself trapped in a marriage where your husband treats you like a freaking punching bag, but not everyone is like that. There are people out there who might actually love you if you gave them half a chance.” 

After all this time? Always. 

“Leave me alone.” You spat. “Leave me alone, indefinitely.” 

You turned away from him again, signifying the conversation was over. He might have tried to talk some sense into you but a few moments later the pilot was announcing their imminent arrival in Virginia. 

As the rest of the team stirred back into consciousness, Spencer got to his feet and stormed away, not caring if the others sensed his anger. 

@andiebeaword @dreatine @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @people-whatabunchofbastards @justreadingficsdontmindme @spencer-reid-wonderland @thebloomingeagle @frostandflamesfanfic @pixiehex1985 @release-your-sweets @mavel-fan-for-life @megan-mars @hales-17 @onlyspence @werewolfbansheelove @gubsi @vivian-555 @meowiemari

[neverpathia]

WIP Ask: I wanna know about Nerves and Nightmares [of course I do, Paranoid my beloved]. Tell us as much as you can / want without spoiling too much :]

also I love the HC of Paranoid being the resident overworked mom of the Long Quiet, it's the same for my Paranoid

okay.

let me preface this by saying that I probably know as much about this WIP as the average audience member. and why is that? because I actually didn't think about properly plotting it out.

if anything, I was just like "okay I wanna write stp fanfiction for my AU". and then I went ahead and was like "I wanna write it in first person." and then at first I wanted to make cheated the main POV character (so we could've had like 'Rages and Razors' or something I don't even know man) but then I decided. nah. paranoid's better for plot and he's my wife now.

so here we are. what an awkward start to a relationship.

i've blabbed a little about it in the main post so I shall blab a little more about it here. it's cosy fantasy. daily going-ons. a little slice of life. taking care of work. living and learning and changing. dealing with the other voices' bullshit. they all live together in a cosy little village, and he's the resident healer apothecary guy, and there's thankfully no shortage of bullshit to deal with.

this is a story of adaptation and new beginnings. this is a story of tying up loose ends. this is a story of development; of discovery and rediscovery. this is a story of learning to relax, of accepting your flaws, of facing your fears.

above all, this is a story of healing and recovery.

so obviously I had to focus on paranoid because COME ON he's the perfect pick. he's inevitably going to have to interact with everyone because of his job. so we get to see at least one moment with every single voice. he's also kind of unstable by himself, but he's gonna get at least a little better.

there's a truckload of character development. does that count as a spoiler? he learns that the world isn't out to get him, not anymore. that he doesn't have to be so on-guard and mistrustful all the time. and to fucking stop overthinking that much oh my lordy lord.

hero features pretty prominently in this. oh golly gee, I wonder why. totally not like they become boyfriends or anything of the sort. they totally don't learn to acknowledge their flaws through each other. that they might be more similar than they realise. that they don't have to be alone in navigating the overwhelming reality and endless expectations- okay, yeah, that totally never happens. /j

cheated does also feature quite a bit in here though, because he's the star patient. not because he's so cooperative, but because he's paid way too many visits to the infirmary and paranoid is very done. they have a kinda hilarious friendship. like "fuck. you're here again." just ranting back and forth about "god everyone else is so dumb, thank god I'm the only normal person here." (neither of them are normal.)

so if you like either of the above then yeah. nice.

also just because this is cosy fantasy and no one dies or anything, doesn't mean this is all sunshine and rainbows and 100 percent cruelty-free. far from it. for starters, I have made broken and smitten best friends and if you know how that one platonic smitbroken ficlet went then you will have an idea of how bad it can get. that won't be the only toxic relationship, or even friendship, up in here.

of course not. nightmare's roaming around somewhere in a fic where the mc is we-all-know-who.

and then there's the individual issues of everyone, left alone to fester. it's not just about paranoid. there's hero's guilt and remorse. cheated's bitterness and resignation. but there's still paranoid's overwhelming workload and ever-increasing stress. the fact that he has to deal with the traumas of both himself and his patients.

it's not going to be nice.

and there is at least one attempted suicide. spoiler: I haven't mentioned the perpetrator in this post just yet. wonder who he could be...guess lol. consider that my first warning.

like, I love psychological angst. no death or murder or downright destruction. just people left in the throes of their own worst qualities. that's my fucking speciality.

but we cannot have recovery if there is nothing to be saved from.

and another thing to take heed of: there obviously isn't going to be a lot of smut, but I'm a male writer. there will be women. there will be feminine characters.

so most of the time I'll probably end up fixating on Paranoid's large eyes and billowing hair and delicate features and slender frame and stuff. why? because wife. but sometimes the narration will veer into...uh, say, describing how buxom the Thorn is. consider that my second warning.

[norris-lando]

take the words for what they are

Daniel Ricciardo x reader, Max Verstappen x reader

inspired by Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift

warnings: cheating, angst, implications of smut

author's note: i might do a part two to this one, i'm not sure. but please let me know your thoughts! i hope you enjoy :)

word count: 3k

part two to this fic can be found here

make sure nobody sees you leave

hood over your head keep your eyes down

tell your friends you're out for a run

you'll be flushed when you return

"Y/n, where are you going?" Lily asked as she was watching you put on your sneakers.

"Oh, I'm just-" Shit. You weren't good at lying and the invisible clock was ticking down loudly in your ears. You had to come up with something soon before you were busted for being untruthful.

"I'm just gonna run to the store quick, I just realised I don't have any-" You took a moment to look around. What would be something that you so urgently needed. "I don't have any coffee," you hurried to answer even though you knew full well how stupid it sounded. "You know how I get if I don't get my morning coffee. Do you need anything?"

Lily shook her head as an answer but gave you wondering look almost like she didn't believe a word you just said. However, she soon disappeared behind the corner into the living room and began to set the movie you had planned to watch with your friends.

Alex walked past you with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a bottle of Coca-Cola in another. "Just don't take too long this time or we'll start watching without you," he joked referring to the last time you had a movie night which abruptly came to end before it even started when you left to sneak behind your boyfriends back to see Max.

You couldn't find any words to answer Alex so you just ended up chuckling quietly before you left. You pulled your phone out to text Max that you were on your way but that you had to hurry so that your friends wouldn't get suspicious.

take the road less traveled by

tell yourself you can always stop

what started in beautiful rooms

ends with meetings in parking lots

The street was quiet and the evening was growing darker by the minute. It was getting cold and you were wondering if you should have put more clothes on.

You didn't like sneaking behind Daniel's back. In fact, you hated it but there was something exciting about the secrecy you and Max were forced to share. A glimpse here, a quick brush of contact there. Those little moments always gave you butterflies in a way Daniel hadn't given you for so long.

You pushed your hands deep down in to your coat pockets in the hopes of getting to warm up a little. It didn't help though, so seeing Max's car already parked at your usual meeting spot as you made your way around the corner made you feel thankful. In your current state even a moment of warmth was all you could ask for.

The door creaked open. Max had reached from the driver seat to open it for you before you had the chance to grab the handle yourself. Those little things always made you smile.

"Hey," you said as you got in and leaned in to give Max a kiss. You could feel the smirk on his face as your lips interlocked. Neither of you ever wanting to waste the time as it usually was always only few stolen minutes here and there you two got to share together in private.

And even after those moments were over, you always told yourself you could stop at any given time. You never did though. Something about Max always pulled you to him. It was like an invisible string.

Sometimes you thought back to the time it all first started. You went over that night again and again. And you were always left wondering how something that had at the start been so beautiful could end up becoming this. This something that was so forbidden and wrongful.

You were torn with the idea of being with Daniel, the man you had been with for so long already. The man you knew loved you and wanted to share a life with you. But what you had with Max... Illicit, yes but so exhilarating at the same time. It was like a breathe of fresh air in your lungs each time you inhaled.

Time seemed to move slower each time you were with Max. It was like you were in your own world where it was just the two of you. And you enjoyed every minute of it.

Lost in your thoughts, you couldn't hear what Max had asked you.

"Y/n? Everything okay?" He sounded worried. You nodded your head quickly, to show him that everything was, in fact, okay before collecting your thoughts.

"Yeah," you wondered what you wanted to say, "I was just thinking." You turned your head to look out the window and felt Max's hand creep up on your thigh.

Out of the corner of your eye you could make out Max's facial features. His strong jaw, his piercing blue eyes, his brown hair and his few day old stubble. Those were all the things that made him attractive in your mind - those were all the things that you found better in him.

Max sighed. He could tell something heavy was on your mind. He didn't like seeing you like this. To him times like this, when you were lost in thought, contemplating between right and wrong, were useless and stupid. If you really were so uncertain of your actions, what were you even doing here? You should just go back to your boyfriend instead of waste his time. He never said those words out loud but he thought about them more than he cared to admit.

"I'm sorry, Max-" You picked up on the shift in his behaviour. It wasn't hard. Max wasn't one to really hide the way he really felt. "I'm sorry, I just can't help thinking about us. This whole thing. What we're doing, are we stupid?" The words came rushing out and you couldn't stop yourself.

Scoffing, Max shook his head. "You're overthinking this," he said. His voice was laced with venomous intent. Something you hadn't heard from him before. "If you wanna be with Daniel, then go fucking be with him. I'm not stopping you!" Taken aback by his words, you furrowed brows. "But whatever you decide, stop wasting my time."

The two of you sat in silence for a few seconds. Max was staring straight ahead, knuckles white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. You tried to keep your composure, not wanting to break down in front of Max. But since it was getting harder to do after every passing second, you decided it was for the best if you just left.

Without saying a word, you opened the door and got out of the car, slamming it close behind you. You could hear Max scream something after you but you didn't pay any attention to it. You were done listening to his lies, playing along his tune. This was it, you decided.

On your walk back, you could feel tears start to pour down your cheeks. You stopped for a moment, resting your back against the cold tile wall. There was an ache in your chest - they kind that you might get when your heart breaks.

You knew this was for the better. It was better to end it all before things got messy. With the lifestyle you and Max and Daniel led, it was a surprise no one had yet spotted you and Max on your secret rendezvous. After all, it wasn't unusual for someone to be hiding behind a corner, hoping to catch a glimpse of one the drivers or their family. Add there a scandalous act and it was a shit storm waiting to pour down on everyone involved.

Still, as you tried your best to convince yourself this was what was right, you still couldn't ignore the ache that now seemed to have found a permanent residence deep in your chest. What you and Max shared, even with all the imperfections, was something beautiful that had now suffered the untimely demise.

Truth was, you were willing to leave Daniel. You were ready to walk out on him and the life you two shared, and you had told Max that. But he had told you it wasn't a good idea, at least not yet - if ever.

And every day since, you had grown tired of waiting. You still loved Daniel and hated to see him hurting. The thought of Daniel finding out about you and Max was eating you alive every day.

That's how you found yourself in this situation. Walking back to your friends who were waiting for you, unaware of where you had been and who with. Unsure of what the future was going to look like but certain that Max was not going to be a part of it - at least not in the way you had hoped.

It pained you to throw your relationship with Max down the drain, act like nothing had ever happened. But life wasn't always easy, you knew that. Sometimes the right thing to do was walk away. You just weren't certain if you had walked away from the right person.

leave the perfurm on the shelf

that you picked out just for him

so you leave no trace behind

like you don't even exist

The grid had made plans to go out for a dinner. Everyone was coming. Including Max.

"We're gonna be late soon," Daniel called out to you as you were in the bathroom staring at the shelf full of perfumes, wondering which one to use.

You glanced at the shelf. Almost choosing one before deciding against it, knowing full well it was one of Max's favorite perfumes on you. And tonight, you wanted no reminder of him ever even looking your way.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," you yelled back and rushed down the stairs to see Daniel waiting for you. His eyes went up and down as he look at your stunning figure. You were wearing a thigh high dress that hugged your figure perfectly. Your hair was in a high ponytail and you had opted to wear a beautiful, gold necklace that Daniel had gifted you for your anniversary.

A presumptuous smile grew on his lips. "You know on second thought," he began, "maybe they don't mind if we're a little late," he said as he wrapped his arms around your body, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Shivers went down your spine as you felt Daniel's breathe on your skin.

You gave him a playful slap on his shoulder as you urged him that the two of you really should get going.

It had been a few weeks since you had last seen Max. You hadn't been able to join Daniel in the grid, thanks to your busy work schedule. It wasn't anything unusual and you were thankful for it - no one had questioned your absence or thought of it as something abnormal. And those few weeks away from the hassle of the races had given you much needed time to think.

But with the traditional dinner each time before summer break official started and everyone got on with their own plans, you knew you couldn't avoid facing Max.

You and Daniel soon arrived at the restaurant. It took you a moment to gather up courage to get out of the car but Daniel didn't seem to notice your nervous appearance. You were thankful for his blissful unawareness - it wasn't like you could really give him a satisfying explanation for your sudden agitation anyway.

The two of you made your way inside, hand in hand and your nervousness faded slowly. Daniel placed a small kiss on the top of your head right before you spotted the table full of your friends and Daniel's colleagues.

Lando was the first to spot the two of you, getting up from his seat. He made his way to you, giving you a hug, saying how much he had missed you and wished you had been at the races.

"I know, I'm sorry. I was busy with work but I watched the replays from each race." You did your best to offer him a sort of explanation, not necessarily needing to. Lando knew what your schedule was like. He was, after all, the reason you and Daniel even started dating in the first. Lando having been your best friend for a long time before he started his F1 career, you two knowing each other from early childhood and staying close ever since.

Lando shuffled back to table, hurrying you two along the way. There was an excitement in his step. Lando had been kind enough to save you and Daniel seats next to him, with you unfortunately having to sit right across from Max.

If looks could kill, you thought to yourself as Max threw daggers your way with his eyes. You tried your best to avoid his gaze, hoping no one else noticed what was going on. The last thing you wanted was your dirty laundry to be aired in front of everyone.

Thankfully, the first moments of dinner you were busy listening to Lando and Daniel tell you about everything that had happened during your absence. Maybe you could survive this after all.

take the words for what they are

a dwindling, mercurial high

a drug that only worked

the first few hundred times

As the night went on, the topics of conversations changed. And at some point it became harder and harder for you to engage in them. There was a sort of pull in your mind towards something else. The words around the restaurant becoming more distant with each letter.

Max's words echoed around your mind. You kept slipping, thinking back when the time you spent with Max was something you looked forward to. When his words were sweet like honey. When the stolen glances were filled with love.

Max was your drug. He brought you such a high, it was like a fever dream. It was something you never wanted to let go. The times you spent with him were like a fairytale.

But then it all came crashing down. Now it all felt so much worse. The highs were high but the lows were so much more lower. The man you once believed to be your long lost soulmate turned out to be just a twinflame, leaving you broken and bruised.

and you wanna scream

don't call me 'kid'

don't call me 'baby'

look at this godforsaken mess

that you made me

you showed me colors

you know i can't see with anyone else

You heard someone call your name, the voice sending shivers down your spine - and not the good kind. You turned around. Max was standing there, staring at you but not saying another word. Hadn't you heard him come after you? Had Daniel paid enough attention to put two and two together? Did he even see Max run after you as you had excused yourself to use the bathroom?

"What do you want, Max? You shouldn't even be here, someone could see us." Your voice was barely above a whisper. You sounded nervous.

Max's mischievous laugh bounced off the walls. He didn't care if someone saw the two of you. Hell, he was almost hoping for someone to catch you there. That would bring a fun end to the evening.

You, on the other hand, wanted to scream. You couldn't believe how Max could act like this. It was infuriating. He was like a child who didn't get what he wanted and now he was taking it out on you and anyone else who dared cross his path of revenge.

"Are you really gonna spend the whole night pretending you're happy and in love with him? Come on, y/n, you're not fooling anyone," Max said as he took a couple of steps closer to you. There was still a gap between your bodies but it was growing smaller with every passing second.

Max tried to reach for your hand but you managed to move away from him just before your bodies had time to touch. "Baby, please-" There was a plea in his voice. Oh, how you had missed him and hearing him call you that. You wanted to jump back into his arms, give in to him and become his. But you didn't.

"No!" Your voice was louder than you had expected it to be, startling both you and Max. "No, you don't get to call me that anymore. You don't get to call me baby or lover or anything like that. Not anymore. Not after you-"

Suddenly you didn't know what to say anymore. Your mind went blank as the two of you stood in the foyer. Pictures flashing in your mind, painting first the story of you and Daniel, then of you and Max.

The moment felt dense. You didn't know what you were doing there or why you even were there. Max had made a mess of you, he had turned you into something you couldn't recognize.

You felt angry. At yourself. At Max. At life. In a blink of an eye, the man who was standing in front of you, had helped you see a different side to life. He had given you the promise of something more only to take it away as soon as you had started to feel comfortable.

Max knew full well what he was doing when he made the first move on you all those months ago. He did it anyway. He didn't care if it ruined you. He wanted something, he took it.

Time stood still. You and Max stared at each other for a few moments longer before you took a deep breathe and walked away from him.

don't call me 'kid'

don't call me 'baby'

look at this idiotic fool that you made me

you taught me a secret language

i can't speak with anyone else

and you know damn well

for you, i would ruin myself

a million little times

[ezrasimp]

thank you @amrv-5 for tagging me!! this is actually so much fun because this year was the first year where i actually tracked each of the films i watched (because @cannibalismpdf informed me i actually had to log each film lmaoo) this year i watched 107 films, 71 of which were new to me. seeing 71 surprised me so much considering how many times i rewatch films paha, but here's my top nine!! (explanations for the top 9, and the runners-up under the cut!)

Alien (1979) dir. Ridley Scott Bullet Train (2022) dir. David Leitch But I'm a Cheerleader (1999) dir. Jamie Babbit Chicago (2002) dir. Rob Marshall Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) dir. Daniels (Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert) The Four Seasons (1981) dir. Alan Alda Paddington 2 (2017) dir. Paul King The Telephone Box (originally: La cabina) (1972) dir. Antonio Mercero The Wild Robot (2024) dir. Chris Sanders

gonna try and keep these explanations around 100 words each because i do tend to ramble i apologise.

Alien - i truly can't believe it took me so long to watch this amazing ass film. i was on the edge of my seat the whole time and i understand why it's a classic

Bullet Train - got scared this was so overhyped by all the tiktoks edits i'd seen of it, but holy fuck i really don't think it is. it's so much fun and aaron taylor-johnson and brian tyree henry are a delightful highlight

But I'm a Cheerleader - how did this film come out in 1999????? like how???????? it's so beautiful while also being sad and hopeful at the same time, and watching this film made me realise why natasha lyonne is a queer icon <33

Chicago - once again surprised it took me this long to watch this film considering how much i love musicals and movie musicals but now that i finally have. oo booy!! love all the songs and the choreo is so good

Everything Everywhere All at Once - i will always regret not watching this film at the cinema because i would give anything to watch this on the big screen. someone i know is writing their diss on this film, on how its entire thing is just "nothing matters but positive" and yeah. yeah man. awoke something in me.

The Four Seasons - AHHH!!! i neeeeed to rewatch this holy shit, this is such a fun film and my favourite of alan alda's films i've watched (so far) by far!! the vibes are great but it's the friends as family trope that really gets to me

Paddington 2 - technically cheating with this because i love the entire trilogy (all of which i watched for the first time this year), but out of all of them paddington 2 was my favourite because i think it was the funniest and most charming of them all <3

The Telephone Box - omfg watch this. watch this right now. here on youtube, it's a short film, only about half an hour. and as a matter of fact i'm not gonna say anything about it. just watch it please. it has subtitles in many languages <33

The Wild Robot - the moment i saw the trailer for this film, i knew i'd adore it. and i was so right. i want to give chris sanders a hug. this film was so warm and beautiful and i cried through 3/4ths of it.

and now for the runners-up!!:

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) dir. Joel Crawford (still feel bad about being skeptical about this film. it proved me so wrong) The Questor Tapes (1974) dir. Richard A. Colla  (mike farrell falls in love with robert foxworth android. what's not to love????) Spirited Away (2001) (orginally: 千と千尋の神隠し) dir. Hayao Miyazaki (i was finally spurred to watch this because i found out david ogden stiers played kamaji in the english dub. ofc he was great but so was this movie, will have to rewatch in japanese one day coz i normally watch stuff in their original lang but DOS <33) Goodbye, Farewell and Amen (1983) dir. Alan Alda (i don't think i'll ever be emotionally prepared enough to rewatch this) Isle of Dogs (2018) dir. Wes Anderson (once again, never got the chance to watch this in cinemas. once again, a massive mistake on my part) Aliens (1986) dir. James Cameron (love this one a lot for its action, but i just preferred the psycological horror aspect of the first one more) Billy Elliot (2000) dir. Stephen Daldry (julie walters slayed in this film. also GOOD TRANS REP???? such a pleasant surprise) Room (2015) dir.  Lenny Abrahamson (fuck man this film was heartbreaking) Hidden Figures (2016) dir. Theodore Melfi (a film has literally never gone quicker for me in my whole life. it got to the end and i was like huh????? where's the rest of the film???? even though 2 hours had gone by lmaoo) The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) dir. Brian Henson (so happy to have finally watched this. this was very cosy, plus i love the muppets so much so it was easy for me to like this film)

i think parker tagged basically everyone i would have ahah so i'll just add @cannibalismpdf, @bjxhunnicutt, @80smen-fanclub, @bardengarde, @cuddleswinchester, @remyfire, @onekisstotakewithme but as parker said as well, feel free to do this even if i have missed anyone!! <33

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Number One

Sequel to One is the Loneliest Number, One on One, One Little Thing, Only One I See, One Thing Leads To Another, One Message Waiting, One Day Closer to You, I’m the Only One, Plus One, Ticket for One, The Wrong One

Warnings: none, Professor Steve (that’s a warning in itself)

“Ugh, so close!” You stomp your foot and drop the remote beside you, “you’re using cheat codes!”

Jensen laughs, “on MarioKart?”

“I don’t know, you’re cheating!” You accuse again.

“Or I’m just better than you. Total noob.”

“Shut up,” you hit his shoulder, “not only are you a cheater, you’re a bragger too!”

“I’m not bragging at all.”

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes and stand up, “I need to hit the bathroom before I really break out my skills. Then you’ll see.”

“Sure,” he shakes his head, “easy excuse.”

You wave him off and cross to the door. You pause and look back at him, a dopey look on your face.

“Down to the left. Just be careful, Jeremy likes to leave the door open.”

“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, “I’ll keep a look out– or close my eyes, whatever.”

You leave him and venture down the hall. You hear the blare of speakers in the next room and the rabble of voices from the kitchen. Jensen’s dorm is much louder than your own. That’s guys for you.

You find the bathroom and take your time. You’re almost giddy. You’ve had such a good time, you barely gave a single thought to your exams or the papers waiting to be written. For a moment, you even forgot where you were.

You wash your hands and venture back down the hall. You slow dip into Jensen’s room and close the door, “I wanna be Peach this time.”

“But I’m Peach,” he looks up from his phone and puts it face down on the bed, “Bowser’s good too–”

“But I want to be Peach, she’s faster,” you argue as you sit beside him.

“Be Daisy–”

“Why can’t I be Peach?” You stick your tongue out.

“I– I’m always Peach,” he shrugs, “she’s my favourite.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Hmm, you seem like a Waluigi guy to me.”

“Waluigi? Is that your type?”

Your phone buzzes against your leg and you reach down to grab it. You flip it over and see several messages waiting. You don’t want to deal with it. You just want to be there, with Jensen. 

“Been going off a lot,” Jensen says, “you’re pretty popular.”

“Eh, it’s just Inez,” you mutter as you scroll through the notifications, “and… Steve… what–” You black the screen and put the phone far away from you, “doesn’t matter. I’ll deal with it later.”

“Steve? As in your Professor? Rogers?” He asks.

You look at him and sigh, “uh, yeah, you know, I’m gonna be TA so… it’s nothing. Come on, back to… Moo Moo Meadows?”

He’s quiet as he flips to the course screen. You try not to think. That only gets you into trouble. You were having so much fun.

“Do you text all your professors?” He clears his throat, making you wince.

“It’s… no. It was a bit of a mix up, I don’t really reply. I don’t know,” you stammer, “he seems kinda… lonely.”

“Lonely? He’s a forty-year old man. You’re his student. You shouldn’t worry if he’s lonely.”

You sniff and thumb the analog stick, “is this about the other night? I’m sorry, Jake, I didn’t plan on doing that, really, I just… I don’t want to mess up my TA position. I need the money and that’s the point, he is my professor. I don’t wanna piss him off.”

“Do you realise how fucked that sounds?” He sits up, “you shouldn’t be afraid of him or him failing you because you didn’t want to sit with him.”

“No, no, he wouldn’t, he’s harmless, I just… felt bad for him. Really. I’m sorry. I really am. I was so disappointed because I was really looking forward to it. You and me.” You look down and rub your neck, “but I get it, I’d be pretty annoyed too.”

“I’m not– I’m not mad. I’m just concerned. Kinda confused, you know? He’s texting you and that’s kinda past a line.”

“I know, I’ll– I’ll talk to him about it. Thank you, really, I thought I was a bit… paranoid.”

“You’re definitely not paranoid, he seems a bit desperate and that’s coming from me.”

You can’t help but laugh, “Jensen, you’re so mean.”

“You’re laughing cause you know it’s true,” he smirks, “so, let’s go. Kick my ass.”

He clicks his controller and starts the race. You feel the weight lift from your chest as you focus. You hit the go button as hard as you can, steering with the stick, tilting the controller as you bear down. You are going to win this.

You get to the final lap, trailing Jensen in second place. You squint, narrowing in on him as you ready your last shell. You’re gonna do it! You can do it!

You don’t have to. He stops suddenly and you breeze past him to cross the checkered line. You squeal as Bowser celebrates and you throw your hands up.

“I won! I won! I–”

You turn to him, his eyes pinpointed on you, and your voice crackles in your throat. He watches you, a dimple in his cheek as puts down his controller and leans on the heel of his hand, looming closer as you gulp and drop your arms. He’s only an inch away, your heart beats behind your ears loudly.

“Do you want your prize?” He asks.

“My prize?” You murmur.

“For winning,” he says as his eyes flick down to your lips.

“Yes,” you breathe.

He touches your chin and you gasp. He leans in, closer and closer, and you tilt your head up to meet him. Your lips touch, shyly at first, soft and uncertain. You touch his arm and push your mouth firmer to his as you hum. You feel him smile against you.

You part, just an inch. “Wow,” he sighs.

“Wow,” you squeeze his arm.

You stare at each other, locked in the heat of the moment. His hand slips around the back of your head and he pulls you to him again. You crush your lips into his, opening up as you let his tongue poke deeper. You cling to each other as you lose yourself in him.

You feel your phone slip against your leg, another buzz that has it shifting on the mattress. You fall back with Jensen and he angles himself over you as he keeps his lips on yours. Your hand travels up his arm and grasp his shoulder, squeezing the muscles there. Another vibe.

He pulls back and his blue eyes blaze as they wander over with his hand to your hip. He grabs your phone and hits the last notification.

“What are you–”

‘She’s busy.’ He says as he types with his thumb, showing the screen to you with the text buffering to send.

“Jake!” You say as you grab for the phone and he tosses it behind him.

“You are busy,” he insists as he cradles your cheek, “he’s not getting in the way this time.”

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Closure

Fandom: Elvis Presley, American Musician

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Addison Goodwin

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Jessie Goodwin Presley, Lisa Marie Presley,

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 7145

Summary: The Class of 1980 aren't the only ones learning a few things.

Tags/Warnings: Graduation, Set in 1980, College Graduation, Angst, Fluff, Past Trauma, Arguing, Lying, Past Cheating, Mistrust, Kissing, Affection, Miscommunication, Mentions of Death/Dying, Long Term Illness,

Notes: The last one was far too fluff heavy so here’s a lil angst sandwiched between some fluff <3

Also the inspo for scott is tom cruise in looks only cos I don't fuck with that man AT ALL but as 80s heart throbs go he's a good one - I would've had rob lowe if he wasn't my inspo for young jerry

ELVIS MASTERLIST // ELVIS AND ADDISON MASTERPOST

Addison winced as she tugged on her skirt, realising too late in the day just how short it was and that it would no doubt be no defence in stopping the backs of her thighs from sticking to chair plastic in the rampant June heat. She just thanked her lucky stars it was the dry heat of California and not the swampy warmth of Memphis she’d long since become acclimatised to. As she tugged it again it gave way a little, stopping just short of her mid-thigh but making her grunt in disapproval as her mood soured a touch more. Not that her outfit choice had much to do with how she was feeling. Still, today wasn’t about her. It was about Jess and she wasn’t going to let some silly outfit or anything else ruin that. She’d done her job, she’d raised her baby to be a good person, a sweet young woman who was ready for the next chapter in her life which was entering the big wide world. She’d got her to graduation and Addison was going to be damned if she let anything stop her enjoying that.

When she walked out of the bathroom she found Elvis sitting on the bed slipping his shoes on though his movements slowed as he watched her move around the room finishing getting ready. She could feel his eyes on her but she said nothing, rubbing perfume into her pulse points as he watched on quietly.

‘Still not talking to me?’ he said after a moment of silence, his words finally getting her to turn around, a scowl on her pretty face.

‘Are you gonna accuse me of more ridiculous things?’ she asked, watching him expectantly, ‘because if the answers yes then yeah, I’m still not talking to you.’

‘Oh Addie come on you’re being ridiculous,’ he said standing up from the bed and coming towards her. He’d expected the frosty nature she’d left him with last night to have thawed by now though he should’ve known his wife well enough to know that once she was set on something she’d see it through to the end. He had just hoped the end would’ve come before they had to leave for Jess’ Graduation.

‘I’m being ridiculous?!’ she scoffed incredulously, ‘after last night?’

‘What am I supposed to think?’ he asked defensively.

‘You’re supposed to trust your wife!’ she said angrily, pushing past him and heading to the door, grabbing her purse off the dresser as she went.

‘And you’re supposed to tell the truth!’ he said hot on her tail. At his words she whipped around, trapping him inside their room as she stood on the threshold, the anger from last night back on show though he could see she was trying to stifle it, pushing it down inside herself and allowing a mask to take hold.

‘You know what?’ she said, ‘I’m not doing this.’

‘Ads,’ he sighed.

‘I’m not talking to you about this now,’ she said.

‘What are we gonna do sit in silence?’ he bit back.

‘No,’ she said firmly, ‘we’re gonna smile and be supportive of our daughter on her graduation day because she deserves her parents to be there for her and not wrapped up in their own shit.’

‘Addie,’ Elvis said feeling his anger and irritation be ripped away only to be replaced by guilt.

‘I mean it Elvis,’ she warned, ‘we are not ruining today for her got it?’

He watched her for a minute forcing whatever upset and anger she was feeling down inside herself all in the hope that Jess would have a good day. He knew it was probably wrong to do so, to force the emotions bubbling through the pair of deep inside themselves, but as he thought of Jess preparing to enjoy her special day he couldn’t help but agree with his wife. Today was about Jess. Their little tiff would have to wait and so he did the only thing he could do, nod.

‘Thank you,’ she said tersely moving away from him as she said, ‘be downstairs in five.’

And then she disappeared heading downstairs as Elvis flopped back against the door jamb, closing his eyes with a sigh. He knew it was his own fault. That this little spat they were having probably could’ve been handled a whole lot better it was just that his own doubts had gotten the better of him. He’d allowed ideas to fester, to spin out of control, until finally he’d snapped, his anger fuelling his wife’s and leaving them both unhappy in the process.

‘Oof what did you do to piss her off?’ he heard a voice say nearby and looked up to find Lisa watching him with a bemused expression.

‘Nuthin’,’ Elvis grumbled, ‘and what have I told ya about swearin’. It ain’t lady like.’

‘Well whatever it is you better fix it,’ Lisa warned, ignoring the jibe about her household etiquette like she did most of her attempts to reign her in, ‘because she’s right. Jessie don’t need you two screaming at each not today.’

✵✵✵

‘Jessie Josephine Presley,’ the dean said forcing Addison to sit a little taller in her seat as she watched her daughter emerge from the side of the stage walking towards him with a smile on her face, one that grew slightly embarrassed as she heard a distinct rise in the noise level as Elvis leapt to his feet hooting and hollering with help from his entourage as they celebrated her.

‘Dad stop embarrassing her,’ Lisa grunted, pausing her clapping to tug on his jacket as she tried to corral him back into his seat with little avail. It was only then Addison’s eyes left their daughter going instead to her husband who continued his celebrations before they landed on Lisa.

‘Leave him be,’ she said smiling as Lisa rolled her eyes and went back to her own applauding. Only once Jess was safely across the stage did he sit down, sinking back into his chair as he pretended not to notice the ogles and stares from other parents as realisation sunk in. They weren’t the only ones staring though as beside him Addison couldn’t help but glance his way her heart swelling with pride. Even in the sweltering June weather he seemed to feel the heat of her gaze, their eyes meeting for the first time since they’d sat down. Elvis smiled at her, his heart too full to even think about their current situation and though Addison returned it her mind seemed to wander back to it quicker than his as she looked self-consciously back towards the stage. Elvis held in a sigh, the guilt from before creeping in, and in order to fend it off he leaned in hoping his sentiments would be regarded in the way he intended as he murmured, ‘I know we’re not speaking but you did really good with her.’

‘We did good,’ Addison corrected, offering him a smile in return.

It wasn’t much but it was enough to ease the palpable tension they’d been sitting in just a little though as the dean continued to drone on, listing his way through the rest of the alphabet, it didn’t stop either of them from thinking about the reason they were in this mess in the first place.

Elvis was sitting in his room staring at the phone as if looking at it would change the information he'd heard come from the helpful lady at the bank not ten minutes ago. As if looking at it would vanquish the hurt inside him, hurt that only worsened as Addison appeared at the door, an apologetic smile on her face as she rushed into their room, kicking off her shoes and dropping her purse to the floor as she said, 'hey, sorry I'm late I hit traffic on the freeway.'

'Hm,' was all Elvis could mutter in return, his lacklustre response not noted as she continued in her own world, oblivious to the temperature of the room. 

'And I know we said we should go out to dinner tonight but would you mind if we skipped it? I mean we're going out tomorrow and it's only Mar and Jer,' she reasoned. 

'Mmmhmm,' Elvis said, though his jaw was so tight he wondered how he'd even managed to get the noise out, but its quietness evidently spoke volumes as she turned around, watching him curiously as she said tentatively, 'everything okay?' 

'I don’t know,' Elvis said honestly, 'why don’t you tell me?'

'Huh?' she asked, her brows knitting together in confusion that only made the hurt inside him turn to irritation. 

'I mean I thought whilst I've been spending time with our daughter you were out doing the same but apparently not,' he said, watching her closely as she started putting the pieces together. She'd seemed genuinely confused at first but as he mentioned Jess, the pawn in her lie, the realisation appeared to surface.

'Elvis,' she sighed and though her tone was gentle he knew it was still a warning. But Elvis wasn't listening, he didn't want to give her a chance to lie to him and so he continued, 'I mean you sold it well. I have to admit your actin' skills could land ya in Hollywood.' 

'What's that supposed to mean?' she said.

'No, no, Elvis you spend the week with Lisa and Cilla. Give me some one on one time with my little girl,' he said mockingly which made Addison's jaw tighten. They were teetering on the edge of a full blow row, his mocking and mentioning of her only trigger, their daughter, only adding fuel to the fire, but she was holding back. He could see it in her eyes that she was trying to calm herself but he had no interest in letting her, too heartbroken to take a minute to think.

'Let me explain,' she said.

'Why don’t you explain why you said you were spending the week with Jess when in reality she hasn't seen you at all,' he spat.

'I'm sorry okay, I didn't mean to lie to you. I just thought-'

'What that I wouldn't figure it out?' Elvis scoffed, shaking his head as he moved away from her, 'funny ain't it. I mean I always thought I'd be able to read you but I guess we're both stupid.'

'Just let me explain,’ she said indignantly.

'What so you can tell me I'm wrong? That you ain't lied to my goddamn face? Though again I guess in the scheme of things lyin' ain't the worst thing here,' he said, he was by the window now, staring out at the view of their backyard as he felt tears building inside him.

'What?' Addison asked angrily, 'what exactly are you accusing me of? Because I admit I told a lie but I told you I'm sorry-'

'And is that supposed to make up for cheatin' on me too?' Elvis said spinning around to face her in the hopes that there was still some part of him that could read his wife. That in the heat of the moment he'd know the truth.

'Wait you think I'm having an affair?' she asked the disbelief in her voice matching that on her face though it broke through to laughter. Laughter that died as she noticed he remained stony faced, ‘you're serious?'

'As a heart attack.'

'Elvis,' she said, all amusement gone from her voice as she watched him brokenheartedly, 'you really think I'd do that?' 

'Why not? It's happened before,' he reasoned. 

'You mean Cilla?' she said and though he didn't reply his silence was enough. After all he'd been down this road before. He'd lost his last wife to another man but that he could understand. That had been down to his own actions. Their marriage wasn't like his and Priscilla's which is why he didn't understand how she could do something like this, why it hurt so much more to think that she could. 

Whatever hurt Addison had been feeling however turned to anger, the tears brimming in her eyes being quickly brushed away as she said, 'well excuse me if I thought that our marriage was a bit stronger than that.'

'Don't turn this around on me!' Elvis protested.

'How could you think that after everything we've been through? How could your immediate thought be that I'd throw our marriage, our life, away and for what? Some guy? Some five minutes of nothing-'

'What am I supposed to think?' Elvis said, 'you lied to me. Told me you were hangin' out with Jess when you're hanging around seedy motels in Reno.'

'How did you-' Addison whispered, confusion bubbling inside her once more though he wasn't letting her have any time to process it.

'So come on what is it? Some old boyfriend from Vegas? I mean it's perfect distance from here, hell, you don’t have to bother goin’ all that way-'

'You were checking up on me?' she asked, the puzzle pieces slotting together as she realised the only way he could've known where she had been was by tracing her credit card.

'I got curious,' he spat, 'sue me.' 

They were both quiet for a moment, watching each other closely as the anger between them festered in the air. She knew he would be angry. She knew that he wouldn’t understand that had been why she had elected to keep it a secret in the first place, well at least until she was sure about what she was going to do. But to have him think this? To think that one little white lie could be a cover for her throwing their marriage away hurt her deeply. In fact, she couldn't even process how he could think so low of her. 

'You're unbelievable,' she said, breaking the silence as she turned to walk away from him. He could be angry if he wanted. He could shout and scream but she was angry too and she wasn't going to dignify his ludicrous accusations with a response. Not until she had calmed herself at least because she knew if she did she'd only be flinging the hurt he was feeling back at him. And that was asking for trouble.

'Don't you walk away from me,' he shouted.

'I'm walking away from you being ridiculous,' she called as she headed into the bathroom.

'I'm not being ridiculous I'm asking my wife for a fuckin' explanation,' he said, grabbing her by the arm though she wrenched it from his grasp as she whipped around to look at him.

'No! No, you don’t get to accuse me of doing something like this and then expect explanations. If you wanted an explanation you could've just fuckin' asked me but you had to assume the worst of me,' she said brokenly.

'Addie,' he said, the anger in his voice evaporating when he saw how hurt she was.

'Leave me alone Elvis,' she whispered, and before he could protest she shut the bathroom door in his face, leaving both of them standing on either side of it wondering how their night had come to this. 

✵✵✵

'Jess over here!' Elvis called gruffly as he spotted his daughter, too busy chatting to her college friends as they made their way through the stands to be actively looking for their respective families. As she looked up she broke into a smile and bid a quick goodbye to the girls around her before she hurtled towards them, breaking through the pockets of people gathered around until she was in front of her parents.

'Hi guys,' she said as he swept her up in a hug, holding her so tight she felt as though he may have squeezed all the air from her lungs, not that she minded given they hadn’t seen each other in weeks.

'Congratulations!' her mother said watching as Elvis finally let her go, allowing her to be able to hug her.

'Thanks,’ Jess smiled.

‘C’mon now let’s see it,’ Elvis said gesturing to the diploma in Jess’ hands which she unfurled so they could have a look at it causing Elvis to offer up an impressed whistle, ‘phew ain’t that sumthin’. Now that’s goin’ in the trophy room for sure.’

‘Dad it’s not that big of deal,’ Jess blushed, tucking it back under her robes and out of sight as a blush tinged her cheeks.

‘It’s a huge deal! You worked your butt off,’ Addison said with a proud smile.

‘Your moms right,’ Elvis agreed, ‘my daughter is a college graduate and that’s something worth celebrating.’

‘Yeah well I heard your celebrating all the way from the stage,’ Jess giggled.

‘That was just the start,’ Addison said, ‘plenty more to come.’

‘No party right?’ Jess asked hesitantly.

‘No, we followed your orders,’ Addison said.

‘Yeah we followed your rules,’ Elvis grumbled, ‘you guys really know how to ruin my fun ya know that.’

‘I couldn’t risk you asking everyone over to our house like my high school graduation,’ Jess said raising her eyebrow at her father who shrugged as though he didn’t recall inviting every member of Memphis Catholic High’s senior class over to Graceland despite the fact Jess only had a few close friends given that she barely spent time there due to their chaotic schedule.

‘Well we did exactly as you said and booked a table at boulevard like you wanted,’ Addison said unable to stop herself from smiling at the memory which didn’t go unnoticed by Elvis who smirked in response.

‘Thank you,’ Jess said, ‘because I just want-’

‘Hey Jess!’

At the sound of her name being called she whipped around to find a boy coming towards her a beaming smile on his face. Elvis and Addison watched as he rushed up to her her, wrapping her up in a hug as they beamed at one another.

‘Congrats!’ he said excitedly as he finally pulled back though he didn’t let her go. Addison and Elvis shared a look.

‘You too!’ she said excitedly, ‘can you believe it we actually made it.’

‘I know it doesn’t feel real,’ he said with just as much enthusiasm.

‘I know what you mean I,’ Jess said stopping mid-sentence as she seemed to come back to reality and realise her parents were still standing beside her, watching her and her friend with the same curious expression, though admittedly her father’s was a little more hostile. The boy seemed to notice they weren’t alone at the same time though his face seemed less embarrassed and more in awe as he realised just who was watching them. It was a look Addison had seen a million times before, one she’d never quite gotten used to, seeing strangers fawn over her husband but she wasn’t interested in looking at Elvis. She was eying the boy in front of her and more importantly the way Jess had looked at him.

‘Uh mom, dad, this is Scott,’ Jess said as she detached herself from the boy who placed his arms firmly near his sides, ‘Scott this is my mom and dad.’

‘Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Presley,’ Scott said offering a hand out for Elvis to shake though he merely looked at it, scrutinising the boy as he sweated in his formal wear.

‘Mmhmm,’ Elvis grunted.

‘Nice to meet you too,’ Addison said rushing to relieve the tension by picking up the conversation though not before she subtly nudged her husband who rolled his eyes but put the boy out his misery and shook his still outstretched hand, ‘I take it you’re graduating too.’

‘What? Oh yeah,’ Scott said, ‘though I don’t know how. I wouldn’t have made it without Jess she got me through our business class for sure.’

‘Is that right?’ Elvis asked again earning himself a discreet dig in the ribs for his tone.

‘Well isn’t that nice,’ Addison smiled, ‘you know we’re having a little get together if you want to join? The more the merrier and all that.’

‘Mom,’ Jess said red glowing underneath her radiant summer tan as her blue eyes went wide.

‘Actually,’ Scott said awkwardly, ‘my folks have a party planned but uh thanks.’

‘It’s f-fine,’ Jess stammered, ‘don’t worry about it. Enjoy your party.’

‘Call you later?’ Scott asked.

‘Sure,’ Jess nodded, offering him a small smile which he returned before he disappeared into the crowd. Jess looked at her parents exasperatedly though both of merely shrugged. Before she could berate either of them though she was engulfed in a sea of people as the rest of the celebrating party descended forcing Elvis and Addison to take a step back. Elvis wasn’t really paying attention to the mob, his mind too focused on his little girl, well his not so little college graduate and the way she’d beamed at the presence of that Scott kid. He did however notice how a hand slipped into his, a head on his shoulder as his wife watched the group too, her mind on the same thing.

✵✵✵

The air was cool when Addison stepped out of the restaurant though she didn’t know if there was a chill in the air or rather that the restaurant itself had been sweltering due to the sheer amount of people Elvis had invited to join them. Jess may have gotten her wish of having a simple get together rather than a party but that hadn’t stopped him inviting every friend and family member they had. Still, Addison couldn’t complain because even with all the fuss she’d declined wanting she’d seen just how happy her daughter had been all afternoon.

‘So, how’s it feel to be a college graduate?’ Addison said sidling up beside her daughter as she left the building and diverting her away from the masses of people gathered on the sidewalk, ready to head home or continue the party dependent on the whim of the Presleys.

‘Pretty good,’ Jess smiled leaning into her mother before she pulled back.

‘It suits you,’ Addison giggled, ‘so what do you wanna do now? We could go back to the house I got a cake.’

‘Actually,’ Jess said her happy smile dimming with nerves as she murmured, ‘I’ve been invited to a party.’

‘Oh,’ Addison said trying to not sound too disappointed.

‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘that’s okay right?’

‘Of course it is. It’s your day after all,’ Addison said with a smile as she moved a strand of hair off her face as watched her. At her acceptance Jess visibly relaxed and Addison couldn’t help but smile. It never failed to make her laugh, how days like these had been something she’d used to dread, and yet now she couldn’t help but enjoy them. Sure she would’ve liked to have spent all day with her but she was just happy that Jess felt comfortable having her own life. A life that may or may not have included a handsome brunette boy. At that thought Addison smiled. She may have been able to let her little girl go but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to have some fun of her own.

‘This party wouldn’t happen to be Scott’s would it,’ Addison said quirking an eyebrow as Jess flushed deep crimson.

‘We’re just friends,’ Jess stated.

‘Okay,’ Addison giggled.

‘Mom!’ Jess chastised.

‘What?’ Addison asked feigning innocence.

‘You’re looking at me like, well, like that,’ Jess scolded.

‘Oh I’m not looking at you like anything,’ Addison said waving her off, ‘and if you wanna be just friends that’s fine.’

‘I know that,’ Jess said.

‘But your dad and I were just friends,’ Addison added watching as Jess rolled her eyes.

‘Well thanks for your input but like I said we’re just friends. Though speaking of dad thanks for coming today,’ Jess said swiftly moving the conversation on in the hopes it would get that warm fuzzy feeling to leave her stomach.

‘Like we’d have missed this,’ Addison said.

‘I mean even though you guys are fighting,’ Jess said, batting that awkward feeling back into her mother’s court.

‘How did you know that?’ Addison asked.

‘Well Lis ratted you out,’ Jess answered, ‘but I would’ve been able to tell anyway.’

‘Well don’t worry about it. Besides it’s nothing to do with you guys,’ Addison said guiltily.

‘We’re a family remember. It has everything to do with us,’ Jess said, ‘you guys good?’

‘We will be,’ Addison said firmly.

Jess looked as though she wanted to get into the semantics of it all to make sure that there was nothing to worry about but fortunately for Addison a car pulled into the parking lot before she could ask any further questions. It wasn’t that she minded how much Jess cared about her parents because she knew it only came from love. It was just that it wasn’t her place to worry about them. She had her own life. She didn’t need to parent her parents. It had been one of the reasons that Addison, though devastated, had insisted she go to college where she wanted to which just so happened to be two thousand miles away from Memphis.

‘That’s my ride,’ Jess said waving at the two girls in the front of the car which was idling in the middle of the lot.

‘Go,’ Addison said with a smile.

‘But dad,’ Jess protested, looking for her father who had still yet to emerge from inside no doubt having been collared by fans or friends.

‘I’ll tell him you said goodbye,’ Addison said leaning in to hug her before pulling back and pushing her towards the car, ‘now go! Have fun!’

‘Bye,’ Jess nodded, ‘love you.’

‘Love you honey,’ Addison said as Jess dashed towards the car, chatter immediately breaking out amongst the girls as they headed off on their journey.

Addison watched as it disappeared onto the street her mind running over the past twenty-four hours. It had been a rollercoaster of emotions, not all great, and yet on the whole she felt fine because as she felt a hand touch her waist, her husband’s handsome face coming into view as she turned to look at him, she knew that when she had told Jess everything would be okay she was telling the truth.

‘Where’s Jess?’ he asked, scanning the sidewalk but seeing his eldest nowhere amongst the crowd.

‘She had a party to get to,’ Addison replied.

‘She ditched us?’ Elvis asked incredulously.

‘Maybe we’re not the best company,’ Addison said.

‘Addie,’ Elvis sighed. Since they’d gotten to the restaurant the mood had changed and he’d hoped that their tiff had been forgotten though it appeared that was not the case.

‘Wanna go for a ride?’ Addison asked softly. Elvis paused. The tiff might not have been forgotten but he could tell from her voice this wasn’t a request for a repeat of the screaming match they’d had the night before and given he wanted to get to the bottom of it too he couldn’t deny her only request.

‘Sure,’ he said.

Even though most of the party would be headed back to the same house as them it took a while for them to get away from everyone given that they were all still in the party mood. Eventually though the pair managed to break free, climbing into the car and heading out onto city streets until they got to the coast line. Since it was still relatively early and a weekend the beaches were lined with people and Addison watched them as they whizzed past, frolicking on the shore line and sunbathing under the western sky. Elvis however wasn’t watching the scenery, he was barely watching the road, because he was too focused on watching his wife, wondering what was going on in that head of hers. Eventually he couldn’t take it any longer and so he pulled into a little parking bay overlooking the cerulean waves below. When she kept her eyes forward looking at the expanse of ocean in front of them he cleared his throat causing her hazel gaze to find him.

‘So, is this round two or a truce?’ he asked, quickly looking back out the windshield as he awaited his answer hoping it was the latter as he wasn’t sure he had another fight in him.

‘The second,’ Addison said, ‘I’m sorry about last night.’

‘Me too,’ Elvis agreed glancing at her though he couldn’t help but shift guiltily under her gaze, ‘I know I shouldn’t have said what I said.’

‘It really hurt me…that you could think that stuff about me after everything. E, I would never do that to you, to us,’ she said quietly.

‘I know, I know,’ Elvis said turning to look at her properly, ‘but you gotta understand where I was comin’ from. I mean it’s happened to me before, hell, I’ve been the one cheatin’ before Addie. It was just the sneakin’ around, the secrecy, it stirred up all this worry in me and I didn’t know what to think.’

‘Maybe…but you know me Elvis. You know me better than anyone. Even if you had a million ideas in your brain surely you knew I wouldn’t do that,’ she said.

‘I know,’ he said sadly, ‘and deep down I knew it couldn’t be true but honey you ask me to trust you and I do. But you lied to me. Anyway you slice it there was a lie there.’

‘I know,’ Addison said sadly. She knew he had a point, that she had no right to expect his trust given that she had lied to him, but it was the fact he could contemplate her betraying him like that. He was her love. Her only love. But that didn’t mean he’d understand. That didn’t mean that they always saw eye to eye and that had been what she’d been afraid of which is why she had lied.

‘Don’t ya trust me?’ Elvis asked hoping her answer wouldn’t be anything but positive.

‘Of course I do!’ Addison said, ‘El I trust you more than anyone on this planet it’s just…I didn’t know how you’d feel. I didn’t know how I felt about it so until I did I didn’t wanna tell you. Until I worked it out for myself.’

‘You’re pregnant?’ Elvis asked unsure as to what could be so daunting she couldn’t bear telling him.

‘What no!’ she said swatting him on the arm with a roll of her eyes, ‘like I wouldn’t tell you about that!’

‘Oh come on Addie it’s gotta be something big if you didn’t wanna tell me,’ he grumbled making her smile apologetically.

‘Okay, okay,’ she said turning towards him properly, ‘you were right. I wasn’t staying with Jess like I said. I wasn’t even in Stanford this week. I was in Reno…visiting my mother.’

‘Mona?!’ Elvis asked any thoughts he’d been having immediately disintegrating under the shock of her words.

‘Yeah, even after all this time she’s got a knack for getting between us huh?’ she said bitterly. Of all the things she could’ve told him he would never have thought of that and as bile started to churn in his stomach at the idea of the woman he sighed. No wonder she hadn’t told him.  

Still, questions swirled around inside him each of them fighting to get out first yet as he watched her drop her gaze guiltily he held them back and tried to remain calm. She was right, even all these years later Mona had managed to cause a rift in their relationship and though he wasn’t exactly happy about the lie she’d spun he could forgive her for it because to not would to be play further into her mother’s hands. And so he decided not to fire on all cylinders, to hold himself back in the hopes she’d explain as he said, ‘what happened?’

‘She wrote me a letter a few months go saying she wanted to see me, that there were things she needed to tell me.’

‘Yeah probably give me some cash,’ Elvis said through gritted teeth, his emotions catching hold almost immediately though he softened as she threw him a look muttering, ‘sorry.’

‘That’s what I thought,’ she said placing her hand over his large one where it rested between them on the seat, ‘believe me I fully intended on ignoring it. There was nothing I wanted from her so I threw it away and tried to forget it.’

‘But?’ Elvis said. Addison sighed.

‘She wrote again,’ she said gnawing on her lip, ‘said it was important and well I got to thinking.’

‘She got in your head,’ Elvis said.

‘No,’ Addison sighed again, ‘maybe…but I just started thinking what if it is something important? I mean what if it’s something that could affect me or Jess like some genetic thing or whatever and then I thought what if it is and I don’t find out.’

‘She got in your head,’ Elvis said knowing how all of this would’ve been swirling around inside, gnawing at her brain the way she gnawed on her lip when she was nervous.

‘Yeah,’ Addison admitted meekly.

‘So?’ he asked.

‘So I replied and asked her what she wanted. She wrote back and asked to see me, gave me an address in Reno. I didn’t do it lightly you know. I thought about for a long, long time and I only decided to go because I knew I’d always be wondering and I’d probably drive myself crazy in the process,’ she said.

‘Why didn’t you just tell me?’ Elvis asked. He didn’t like Mona but if he was being honest that wasn’t the part that hurt him. Her keeping it from him was.

‘I thought about it but I knew what you’d say. And I wanted to make this decision for myself,’ she admitted.

‘If you’d have just asked I would’ve respected your wishes,’ he said.

‘And held your tongue?’ she said raising an eyebrow which made him sheepish, ‘I just wanted to have all the information but I should’ve told you. I hated lying to you…but like you thinking I could…y’know sometimes I still think like that stupid kid all on her own.’

‘Well you’re not,’ he said moving to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

‘I know…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. If it makes you feel better all I wanted was to talk to you about it,’ she admitted.

‘Yeah?’ he asked.

‘Yeah…it was what I was going to tell you when I got home last night before well everything,’ she said fiddling with a button on his shirt.  It seemed silly now to not have told him but at the time she couldn’t bring herself to. She knew he’d try his best, to let her go through with seeing Mona if it was what she truly wanted, but he’d always be watching – threatening to cloud her judgement. Except once she had landed in Reno all she had wanted was to talk to him, to tell him everything that was happening. It had been why she hadn’t bothered Jess by telling her they were fighting. She knew it was in built in her oldest daughter to worry about them because she had spent so much of her childhood watching Addison pretending she was okay. Jess had seen how she’d held herself together thinking she was all on her own but now she had him, she always would. Her mother had just stirred up all that hurt, like she always did, and somehow she’d lost sight of that causing this whole ugly ordeal.

‘Well you can tell me now,’ he said.

‘I know,’ she said.

‘What happened?’

‘I showed up at the address she gave me, to this dingy little house on the outskirts of the city. It was awful, practically fallin down around her and she was just sitting there looking worse than ever,’ she said growing quiet for a moment before whispered, ‘she’s dying El. Six months.

‘Yeah right,’ Elvis scoffed gritting his teeth and trying to make himself look more understanding as she pulled away from him.

‘I know, I know!’ she said exasperatedly, ‘I didn’t want to believe her either but…El she looked awful. I don’t think she’s telling lies this time.’

‘So what?’ Elvis said.

‘I listened to her sob story. I let her tell me how she regretted everything, how she was only now seeing how badly she’d messed everything up and how she was sorry,’ Addison said. She wasn’t looking at him now, her gaze out the window as she stared at the bright blue of the horizon a wistful look on her face as she murmured, ‘but you wanna know something?’

‘What?’ Elvis asked.

‘In all that talk. In all the apologies and promises and begging for my forgiveness…she didn’t ask me one thing about Jess. Not one. I mean I can understand us, our whole ordeal has been plastered in enough papers by now but I had a baby less than a year after she left and she never even thought to ask about her. Not how she was. Not how I coped. Not if she could meet her…her own granddaughter,’ she said finally looking back at him except now the sadness on her face was hardened like it had been the night he’d told her she’d left town all those years ago. Every time Mona had blitzed into her life she’d always had hope, something that he’d thought had been truly stomped out at seventeen, but now at forty he could see it was. That even though she’d given her mother the benefit of the doubt by speaking to her it hadn’t been because she’d hoped for more.

‘I mean I didn’t expect her to have changed no matter what she told me but even on her death bed begging for help she couldn’t even put in enough effort to pretend. Not even for five minutes. She could spin a yarn, give me her sob story but she couldn’t even ask one question about her own granddaughter,’ she said bitterly.

‘Yeah will it Jess was probably of no use to her,’ Elvis said honestly.

‘I know,’ she said.

‘So what did you do?’ Elvis asked.

‘I heard her out. I listened to her pretend she was all torn up about being a terrible human being waiting for the other shoe to drop and what do you know it did,’ Addison said, explaining as Elvis’ brows knitted together, ‘she’s not got any money for her doctors bills or rent.’

‘That’s why you were cashing cheques,’ Elvis said connecting the dots quicker than expected and sighing as she dropped her gaze to her lap, ‘Addie.’

‘I know I shouldn’t have after all she’s done to me. I know I should’ve left; I shouldn’t have even gone. I know she’s a terrible person but I’m not. El I know you might not get it but I’d rather be thought of as a fool who gave her money out of the goodness of my heart than the bitch who refused to help someone who needed it.’

‘Oh honey,’ Elvis sighed.

‘You understand right? Please tell me you understand,’ she said.

‘Of course I understand. C’mere,’ he said pulling her into him and allowing her to be engulfed by his presence. He held her to him stroking her hair as she nestled against him.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,’ she sniffed, ‘I don’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to.’

‘Your mothers tricky business. She gets in your head, she always has, it’s not your fault,’ he said, his voice soothingly rumbling against her ear. She settled then, the pair of them falling quiet for a moment though Elvis couldn’t stop his brain from spinning yet this time there was only one question on his mind, ‘are you gonna see her again?

‘I don’t really see the point,’ she said turning so that she wasn’t completely tucked into him though she didn’t pull away, ‘I paid six months rent on a room in a care facility for her. I gave her a cheque to cover any extras she might need and told her not to blow through it because that was it. I have no illusions of her wanting to see me again not now she’s got everything she needs.’

It had always been odd to him how a woman could want nothing to do with her only child. How Addison could be centre of his entire universe and yet the woman who should’ve thought the same could only ever begin to bother with her when she needed something. He couldn’t ever contemplate doing that to either of his girls and he couldn’t picture his parents or Joe doing that either. That was why he hated her so much because of all of them she’d gotten the most time and yet she’d squandered it away. She watched him mulling it all over, concern falling on his face as an idea struck him, his bright blue eyes looking down at her as he asked, ‘do you want to?’

‘Honestly?’ she asked, Elvis nodded, ‘no. I think I needed to do this for me for closure I guess that’s why…’

‘Why what honey?’

‘On my way out of Reno I stopped by a funeral directors. I paid for a package and called the warden asking him to let me know when...when it’s over.’

‘Well that’s an honourable thing to do,’ he said moving her hair off her face as she leaned into his touch.

‘I think it was more for me. So I know that’s it,’ she said, ‘I don’t know if I would wanna go yet.’

‘Well if you do we can. Both of us. Whatever you need baby,’ he said leaning in to kiss her. She was still for a minute before she leaned into it, their lips melding together as he pulled her to him as if they were teenagers desperate for a moment alone rather than married fortysomethings.

When they pulled apart she was breathless, a thankful smile on her face, and though he knew he should probably be serious he couldn’t help himself, electing as he always did to put a smile on her face which came immediately as he smirked and said, ‘so Scott huh?’

‘They’re just friends,’ Addison giggled pulling back and sitting beside him, her head on his shoulder.

‘Is that right?’ Elvis asked.

‘Mmmhmm,’ Addison smiled.

‘Well I’m glad,’ Elvis murmured, ‘he seems nice.’

‘Elvis Presley!’ she gasped pulling back with a beaming smile, ‘are you actually conceding your little girl should actually be allowed in the big wide world of dating?’

‘She’s a college graduate now,’ he said seriously, ‘time to let her live a little.’

‘You’re still gonna put him through the wringer huh?’

‘Oh for sure,’ he smiled.

ELVIS TAGS

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[vaguely-functional-directions]

I HUMBLY PRESENT:

PICTURE SHOW: I loved the contrast of Bonnie’s dream to be a Clara Bow-style It girl, and Clyde wanting to kill everyone lol. Bonnie wants fame and Clyde wants money, because neither of them grew up with that — so what I get from that is that they want all that they don’t have, the opposite life that they have as kids. I LOOOOVED the bit where young Clyde turned into adult Clyde before his sentencing, and he’s so disillusioned and thinks people will look up to him (which is also Bonnie’s dream). They both just want recognition, but Bonnie thinks that heroism is the way, and Clyde thinks infamy is the way to go.

THIS WORLD WILL REMEMBER ME: Clyde literally has the worst idols in the world. He’s got the worst possible way of being remembered — dude why. But he’s so nice to Bonnie and describing her future, awwww. The GROWL in “there’s no plan b” LORDDDD

YOU’RE GOING BACK TO JAIL: Christians omg. But why is Buck SO surprised that Blanche wants him to go back to jail?! He’s literally shocked like mate you’re an outlaw?! What did he expect lol. And I get her point that they’ll still be “in their prime” if he just turns himself in. God they’re so Southern. LOLLL THOSE WIVES REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT THAT THEIR MEN ARE IN PRISON HAHAAA!! Oh wow Trish is cheating, interesting!! “Heavens to Betsy” LMAOOO. Blanche swears she’ll stay faithful; I wanna see if she does!! “Jesus close your eyes” LOSING ITTTTT

HOW BOUT A DANCE: I loveee the tune even at the very beginning lol. her voiceeee. I love the flirty tone to Bonnie, she is very Clara Bow!! The bit after “you look so handsome” OMG THE SWELL HOW GORGEOUS I LOVE THIS SONG. It has a vaguely Christmassy vibe for some reason? Maybe in her soft vibrato? I love the way her voice absolutely soars. God I hope she gets her dream, she’s so lovely. OH the key change on the last “and you may lose your heart” wowwww

WHEN I DRIVE: damn the intro bass line was sick. I love how well Jeremy’s voice work’s for Clyde. They’re such Texas men lol. I LOVE that chorus, it’s so rousing!! “Just hold your nerve” EXCUSE ME SIR DOES YOUR VOICE HAVE TO DO THAT?? they really do think they’re heroes, and it kinda makes me sad, because this should not be how they wanna live and wanna die.

GOD’S ARMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN: the church music my god. Not gonna lie, im just letting it wash over me and not focusing much, because it reminds me of mass as a kid haha and it’s a hymn so it’s got the same message. OH WOAH and then the dude started with the different kind of song and THATS COOL HUH!! I do like the chorus element to it, cause it’s not so churchy anymore but it’s got that bit of church-plus-theatre sound!! Love the drums and the call-and response at 2/3 of the way through. STOP SHOOTING AND STEALING SHIT. GOD AINT GONNA TAKE YOU BACK ANYMORE BUDDY. That amen was fun hahaha!!

YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN HIM: okay except she’s describing the exact life Bonnie wants? Does he think she wants to settle for marriage and children and a mediocre life when she’s very vocal about her dreams?? Dude shut up you’ll never love her like Clyde loves her oml be quiet.  Okay and bro is bribing her with his money and connections? What a dick. Oh but Clyde knowsssss that he’s the man for her. “there’s so many that could love you like I do” MAKE ME CRY WHY DONTCHA?? it has a very Wicked-esque ending tune 

YOU LOVE WHO YOU LOVE: omgggg how sweet is Bonnie about him?? I feel like this is the moment she realises that even though she tried to change Clyde in the past, she now accepts him as he is and he’s the only one for her, she’s realising that she’ll love him unconditionally forever. “Maybe thats what made you love him all along” okay sTOP making me sob???? She’s following her heart awww. Common sense doesn’t know what love is!!!! I think I love Bonnie’s songs the best :D

RAISE A LITTLE HELL: OOOHHH it’s starts so wild-west-bar vibe. Loooove the bluesy tang. “Crooked god” the WORDS woahhhh. I love the lyrics to this, and Jeremy’s voice is so perfectly suited to Clyde’s songs, it’s crazy. “Ive been broken by the devil … I wont get to heaven, why not raise a little hell” HE KNOWS WHERE HE STANDS AND IS SO FINE WITH IT. BROOOO THAT GUITARRRR. The second verse is so vibey!! His voice breaks make me feel faint lol. And baby you can raise all the hell you want, Bonnie’s always gonna be your piece of heaven *swoons* anyway I feel like hes about to do something dumb

THIS WORLD WILL REMEMBER US: oh god the title makes me KNOW hes about to do something dumb. Ohhh Clyde this is not the life you need babyyyy. FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU DONT WANT TO BE AL CAPONE. “Bye baby” took me OUT, and then the pace changeeeee!! Ohhh but Bonnie wants to stop the crime so she can be famous. “When Hollywood gets hold of you they’ll be saying ‘Clara who?’” HE’S SO SUPPORTIVE I LOVE HIM (even though he is the king of bad choices) :D I love their harmony in the last “remember us”, how bright and loud is it?? Woah

MADE IN AMERICA: this is kinda cool, actually. This guy gets lots of ensemble backup in his songs, huh? I do like the interesting portrayal of poverty though. And the strings are fabulous, as well as the slower bit that speeds up; I love it when songs do that!! 

TOO LATE TO TURN BACK NOW: run Bonnie runnnn girl!! Oh wait what’s he done?? OH HE SHOT PEOPLE. Ohhh my god Clyde is literally a silly silly dude, he has no regrets. I like that Bonnie says its not too late and Clyde says it is, it’s a nice contrast of their characters!! And the bit where Bonnie’s singing at the start of verse two with no instruments is musically very cool. I love how clean it is lol. “But I meant what I said” was HELLA COOL. Clyde begging for her smile, stooooppppp!!! Aww and he’s validating her emotions … but he’s also a criminal … and Bonnie wants to leave … but she loves him … ouuughhh the conflict … and then the agreement to stay together!! Bonnie why must you always listen to himmmm??? But the lyric about making the headline but not knowing how is a little funny haha

THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL A DREAM: you probably know this, but I’ve worked as a stage manager for years and one of my best friends is a lighting designer; this song gives so many amazing set/lighting/blocking opportunities. I hope the directors and teach team really took advantage of such an amazing song for the actual stage show, because it could look INCREDIBLE on stage!! I do really love the song too.

WHAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU: this also with the very cool onstage opportunities!! It has such a slow, jaunty beat and tune, and you can absolutely run with that sort of music. The choreography BETTER do this song justice!! I also LOVE the messaging, about having to reject your parents’ dreams and refuse to settle for less than the big, bright lives they want. “Babe, the meek don’t inherent a thing” GOT ME. BRO. And the chills I got when they actually sang “Bonnie and Clyde”, OH my god, that harmony, that belt, I LOVE THIS MUSICAL I NEED TO SEE IT LIVE

BONNIE: back to his country roots, lol. “I must be in love or else I’m going mad” and the LAUGH, SHOOT ME ALREADY!! ohhh and I love the callback to When I Drive, saying that driving used to make him feel alive but now Bonnie does *sobs* “my Bonnie” takes me out by the way. It’s kinda cute and sweet that he says “making love to” instead of something cruder or more vulgar, because his character seems so rough, and to change just that little bit when it comes to Bonnie is so symbolic

RAISE A LITTLE HELL (REPRISE): once again, absolutely wicked tune. Jeremy’s growling drawl is just amazing. But my dude they really just don’t learn, do they?? ALSO FUCK OFF, BONNIE LOVES CLYDE AND NOT YOUUUU. oh my god STOP. WITH. THE. AL. CAPONE. wooooaaahhhh the harmony on the last “let’s raise a little hell” is CRAZY, and the ending tune is such a theatre vibe!!

DYIN AINT SO BAD: why am I crying with just the first few lines? Her voice is so beautiful for this. This song has much more of a theatre-y feel than a lot of the others. “I hope to god that I go first” is soooo reallll. Aww god I love how devoted she is to Clyde, and how she’s resigned to the fact that no matter what happens, even if she doesn’t get that dream she’s always searched for, it’s worth it for him. “a short and loving life” *sobs* The swell of music for the second verse is lovely. “I’d rather breathe in life than dusty air” KILLED ME, I UNDERSTAND WHY IT’S YOUR BANNER, THAT ABSOLUTELY *SOARING* BELT FROM BONNIE?! WIFE?! and the way it softens after it … so beautiful. I think this song might be my favourite.

DYIN AINT SO BAD (REPRISE): “it’s death for Bonnie and Clyde” noooooo don’t say thatttttt!! But god is this version beautiful, and the soft harmony with “not if we both go together” killed me. I am dead, I have died. This is so sad because they’re romanticising this life, but it’s so upsetting what they’re actually dooming themselves to. Laura laughing sadly towards the end … god the stylistic choices are so well-fitting

HOW BOUT A DANCE (REPRISE): there are a lot of reprises in this musical. This is such set change music, lol, I hope the choreography was really swinging and suited to the tune. Damnnn girl really held that line, huh? Why is the last twenty seconds totally silent?

THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE: oh godddd I can’t believe this is the last song. “Some little time” that note had me on the FLOOR. I love the contrast between their voices here. Clyde’s rough and low, Bonnie’s sweet and high. “Don’t worry, let’s take it slow, babe” — the climbing of the notes was lovely!! “I told you being with you is enough” is the whole meaning of the show, and I’m so glad they actually said it *cries*. That last piano trill made me SO suddenly uncomfortable and anxious I have no idea why, but it was such a lovely song that the chaotic piano ending didn’t match right … does it purposefully put you at unease or is that just a me thing??

AAAAAAAAA

PICTURE SHOW: YES literally just the contrast between the 2 of them growing up, and I think it says a lot how they both grew up with big dreams. And the thing is too, is that the setting is both of them growing up poor in like small town Texas, so really both of them are just kids with big hopes for the future. And I love how it goes through the years with them growing up !!! AND NO LITERALLY that part where Clyde says 'I wanna be the guy kids up too' sticks out to me as well. Like. Clyde why are you like this 😭 AND ALSO, I think it says a lot about Clyde's character too with how he is like that with the guns and all because he thinks it's fun and enjoys it. Growing up poor, he very much *could* have been someone wo was doing robberies etc... to provide for his family, left with no other choice. But this song makes it very clear that that is Not The Case. And the contrast from the intro with their deaths right into young Bonnie's innocent song about wanting to be like Clara Bow is just. Perfection.

THIS WORLD WILL REMEMBER ME: "Clyde literally has the worst idols in the world." LMAO but *true*. I like how when he starts singing about Bonnie's future he's like. He just met her, but instantly sees the same drive and ambition in her that he has and I think that's part of what drew him to her, rather than him just forgetting about her after parting from that first meeting. Like, he sees a bit of himself in her, almost (?)

YOU’RE GOING BACK TO JAIL: THIS SONG IS SO FUNNY I LOVE IT. Like the women are like. 'Actually we *love* that our loser husbands are locked away what are you talking about' Personally, I'm a fan of 'thank you Jesus, twice' 😂

HOW BOUT A DANCE:I knowwwww this song is like. The centre of the show, with the way it is at the very beginning and end, and plays at the pivotal moments. And the instrumentals is so beautiful!!! You mentioned the flirty tone, so i will mention that she is actually singing this to clyde in the musical; like I forget the word for it but like, it's actually her singing to him, not just because it is a musical. Like. I fully believe this song is the moment ehen bonnie fell in love with, meaning that drom this point, everything that followed was inevitable. My poor heart 😭Personally, I prefer the version of this song with Frances Mayli McCann (I think you listened to the original?)

GOD’S ARMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN: No like I literally love how this song starts being all about forgiveness and church like, and then by the end it's just clyde commiting more crimes before getting arrested 😂😭

YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN HIM: YOU UNDERSTAND ME WITH THIS SONG. When did bonnie EVER say she wanted the things Ted is singing about??? That's right. *Never*. I guarantee I have at least 2 posts floating around this website where I fully rant about this. Like, it's so clear that Ted sees Bonnie as the idea of her that he has in his head, rather than the person who is actually in front of them. And I feel like it has to do with it being like the 1930s small town as well, that even if she is vocal about her dreams to go to hollywood, people would react with the attitude of like. She'll settle down once she gets married, and no one takes her seriously. But CLYDE took her seriously, and fully sees that side of her. While Ted just sees what he wants to see. And in the later song, he has the line 'all I want to do is save her' BUT SHE DOESN'T NEED SAVING, TED. YOU ARE NOT HER HERO IN THIS STORY. STOP.

YOU LOVE WHO YOU LOVE: I literally love this song so much, and there are so many nice lines in it, I feel like

RAISE A LITTLE HELL: LITERALLY, the lyrics here are so good, and through the whole thing you can just feel the desperation coming from him. Like he *literally* has nothing left to lose. But like, you're right that he's about to do something at the end lol because this song ends with him killing another prisoner who was abusing him

THIS WORLD WILL REMEMBER US: BUT HE *DOES* WANT TO BE AL CAPONE. BECASE THE WAY HE SEES IT, AL CAPONE IS NOT TRAPPED IN A DEAD END LIFE, AND HE TOO IS GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING OF HIMSELF. I *love,* the bye baby, see you soon sugar exchange between them right before he breaks out !! And he promises her they will stop the crimes but does he really believe that he will?? Are the empty promises?? Does he even *know* if he means it genuinely??? And the ENDING of the song... they are out there living their best lives and like. YES.

TOO LATE TO TURN BACK NOW: This one is so good !!!! I love how just in general, Bonnie is so sure of herself and what she thinks about things, standing her ground. But it really is because she loves him too much to leave and like. AAAAAAA. And YESSS there are so many things that are mentioned that eventually *do* come true but just not in the way intended it's so fun. Also, I am LIVING for your phrase 'Clyde is literally a silly silly dude' LMAO

THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL A DREAM: This song was never one of my favourites so it has not occupied too much brain space to how it was done onstage, but it has grown on me. Basically just from realizing it is a complete contrast to dying ain't so bad. Like how bonnie and Blanche have their own songs about how one wants a long, easy, normal life, and the other just wants to really live, and it's ok if it's just for a short while. And one thing that sticks out to me is that both songs mention a rocking chair, with Blanche saying she wants like the typical front porch setting for her and Buck while they grow old, and bonnie saying she doesn't need one at all. BUT ALSO, despite their differing personalities and views here, they still share the song You Love Who You Love with the exact same sentiment, of why they fell in love with such similar guys.

(Also, I didn't actually know that, that's so cool!)

WHAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU: YES to the whole thing about them saying they want different lives that their parents had, and the easy path that was set out for them. And also taking the setting into consideration, like 1930s depression era like. Honestly what else was there for them? What other choice did they have if they wanted to set out an achieve something other than their regular, mundane lives? And like in the song Made In America with the line Who can blame them, not their fault they turn to crime like. Yeah? But maybe their parents, in turn, wanted more when they were young too but just settled for what they got in life. But both bonnie and clyde completely rejecting that and saying that's not good enough for me???? You know????

I wonder if I am going to hit the character limit on this post again...

BONNIE: What I love most about this song, is the little bickering there is between them at the beginning with Bonnie interrupting his song. They are so cute <3. And I love how this is actually a callback to an earlier scene where Bonnie is reading a poem she wrote, and clyde keeps interrupting her, exact same as here but roles reversed. And I didn't know about that scene until I saw it live and when that happened I was like !!! because I knew this was coming up later and made the Connection in my mind lmao. Also, Clyde is supposed to be in the bathtub during this song which I think is really funny because just like. Why lmao

RAISE A LITTLE HELL (REPRISE): I LOVE the reprise here. Things are about to get INTENSE with Clyde and Buck paired up again. And then Ted just jumps in trying to be the sympathetic hero and like. Can you perhaps not. YEAHHH the ending note of the song is literally so powerful

DYIN AINT SO BAD: You literally said it all; this song is so tragic and beautiful. On one hand I completely get what she is saying with how she just wants to have really lived, but also knowing how she is so young but basically accepted her death is so sad. Like, she should be able to live and *still* have her whole life ahead of her. ALSO PLEASE KNOW THAT I'D RATHER BREATHE IN LIFE THAN DUSTY AIR IS ALSO MY PHONE'S LOCK SCREEN FOR LIKE 6 MONTHS NOW

DYIN AINT SO BAD (REPRISE): Like they literally know that they are dead at this point and are just on borrowed time like. How am I supposed to be ok?????? Literally when they both start singing together is just. 😭😭😭

HOW BOUT A DANCE (REPRISE): THIS INSTRUMENTAL IS WHEN THEY ARE GETTING INTO THE CAR ABOUT TO DRIVE AWAY TO SEE THEIR PARENTS, AND LOOPS RIGHT BACK TO THE FIRST MOMENT IN THE SHOW WHEN THEY ARE KILLED. IT'S SILENT BECAUSE. THEY DIED. THEY ARE LITERALLY DRIVING OFF TO THEIR DEATHS IN THIS SONG AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. AND THEN THE SHOW JUST ENDS. AAAAAAAAAAAA (also side note about reprise because you mentioned, there is also a short one of you can do better than him before the dying ain't so bad reprise)

THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE: So I am actually not too familiar with this song because it is a bonus track, not actually in the show, so haven't listened to it too much. But yes literally the lyrics in these songs is just. Yes.

[inventedfangirling]

ONLY FRIENDS EPISODE 8 LIVE REACTION POST

I AM SO SO NOT READY for raymew...more like im not ready to see Sand hurt but arggghhh lets goooo

ohno ray seems to have not been a great influence on mew

okay i LOVE how protective cheum seems over mew but hello where was all this love and concern for ray all this while like whats that about !??

my gawd First is so dang good in this scene with Khao not like im surprised but gawd the hurt is hurting and it is not one bit comfy but again nobody should expect messy gays the show to be a comfort watch lmao

OHMYGOD why is everybody so good at their jobs...we barely knew anything about plug and yo's relationship but was that scene IMPACFUL or what!!!

no matter how much mental torture this may offer, its great that we also have guaranteed quality performances like wow what a pleasure it is to watch them perform

i get that top seems to be very much in love with mew but him acting all holier than thou about smoking PLS bit rich coming from somebody who literally cheated on him like WOW yes mew TELL HIM

I ADORE TF OUTTA HIM BUT PLS NO NOT FIRST SINGING

my gawd ray getting on my nerves he's so selfish wanting to have both mew and sand and using his cuteness to get his way like excuse me who allowed you outta my pocket and into the world where you can hurt sand GET BACK IN HERE!

my gawd ray using all his perusasion moves and then some but sand standing his ground multiples times im SO PROUD OF HIM 🥹

ray did not just use orphans to get sand to agree like arrest him milord its too much!!

oh damn top approaching cheum for help, man clearly serious about his concern (pretty obvious/out there prediction based on how you think but mewtop endgame methinks :3)

okay papang's character CLEARLY has just work on his mind SURE completely his excited thirsty looks giving NOTHING away

STFU did i just see boston looking at a selfie of him and nick while drinking alone in a bar WOW did not think i'd have lived to see this day lmao

is it just me being too sandray biased or did raymew not have much chemistry in that library scene...the way ray said you look delectable felt mechanical sorta like its something he just read off a script in his head and not what he thought of right then...probably also due to it being early days together but also i did NOT hear ray say that he doesnt want a band anymore...i simply didnt hear it...it makes me feel NOTHING

why the fuck have all these people been invited these two self destructive boys have evidently NO clue in life...as expected i mean lol otherwise whats the fun in a show about a bunch of well adjusted adults with entirely healthy relationships lmao

STFU did mew just try coke NOMYGAWD this is gonna be such a train wreck of a party I CANNOT

gawd pretty boy ray (SO PRETTY but also)whipped af he's gonna hurt so so bad when he realises mew has been knowingly or unknowingly using him to get over or spite top

zjnsnsjs what was that laugh mew did when ray asked if cheum invited top...book looked so HOT and MY GAWDS TOP GUN TOP AHRJMSNANSKAKA

is ray thinking what im thinking?? that mew is showing more emotion in the past 1 minute than he did the entire time they were together and it was entirely directed at top!?

ahjansnnsjsjs mew you menace that was such a badass move im gonna forgive you for using ray and making out with him for a hot second cos WOW

sand nick moving on buddies CUUUTE if only the moving on was working out for either of them 🤧🤧

wow nick has got some guts walking upto ton like that after having secretly recorded him and ruined his friend group...im dyingggg at his (desperation dressed as ) confidence

not to get distracyed but that teeny glimpse of neo's forehead through his fringe making me wanna scream...he looks so so sooo goood argh WHY DO THEY COVER IT UP HUH FOR WHAT?? FREE THE FOREHEADS!!!

2 freddie mercury's making out at a halloweeen party...woulda been such an iconic moment...ray playing spoilsport boy you better get back in my pocket (THREAT)

AABNANAN RAY DID NOT JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE DID MY GAWD HE'S SO!?????

When tf is ray gonna learn not to kiss people without their consent he making me madder and madder!?!?!

holy fucking shit sand's expression after ray said "you love me" !?????? im so devastated at that milli second of a reaction FIRST IS SO FXKING GOOD!??

"you're mine no matter what!????" um how DARE he!????

YES SAND GOOD ON YOU IM SO PROUD OF YOU ray you better count your days im coming for you😤😤😤😤

mew breaking up with top cos he cheated on him to be with ray who has "always" been faithful to him and this always faithful guy just decides to offer himself to his "fuckbuddy" and some other random dude from the party so easily?? gawd i feel bad for mew.

i know mew is going through hell and sorta acting out...but my gawd unhinged mew is so hot????? i feel like my brain is turning to mush everytime he does something wild

pls that bgm in the topmew scene...no matter how this scene ends...they have to be the endgame i really dont see a way around it

cheum deciding to draw boundaries and blaming ray for showing no concern for her and ruining things while the police are literally checking the room for drugs after having pinned ray down is just the sorta shiz the show promised and it has delivered so good i could scream into my pillow for hours

2 seconds...thats all it took for khao to make an impact with that scene...he's MAGIC i tell you

cheum and april should just run away together just for a while give themselves some peace of mind

pls the romcom music for topmew its driving me insane.....this was supposed to be my sandray WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG

sandnick cuties I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC ARGH...whether its kept as moving on partners or new found besties or even fwbs...i am full on supporting that shiz...sand deserves some fun too

cant believe boston was the least active character today...i almost have humane feelings towards him wow

sghahnsnznsjwjzjjsjsjsnjs omygod next episode preview ducking hell

Forget everything i said about sandnick and arresting ray and being mad at him...i am still mad but ahhh sandray my babies WE ARE SO BACKKKK....they better have a proper talk so ray can apologise and start off on a proper note or else imma lose it again but ahhhhhh i havent smiled at a preview in a loooong time fuckkk feeels goood😭😭😭