#my lesbian brain really likes obsessing over pretty men

[lyxchen]

Haha omg Pinterest staawp, you don't need to show me pictures of Lee Byung-hun, I just need pictures of him as In-ho, haha stop trying to distract me with pretty man Pinterest, you're so silly haha :>

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Finals

Propaganda Under Cut

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime

[dasha-aibo]

Same Chris chan anon, I’m back. I saw your reply, and yeah, I agree on some parts. Good people can turn bad.

What I meant was that if you’re a person with strong values, you would’ve never done that stuff. It was plain sexism. A person with strong values wouldn’t do that because their actions dictate what kind of person they are.

And while I understand that you don’t SUPPORT chris chan, you can’t be like “well! Actually, women, stfu about his sexism!!! He did it because he was bullied online!!! And shut up about how he sexually harassed his female friends beforehand!!!”

Like. Think critically. This was an actual crime. With actual victims. And now he’s out of jail??? Male privilege at its finest. He should’ve NEVER gotten out of jail.

Also, rape is like, in my opinion, the only crime that can NEVER be excused. Because nobody forced you to do it??? Nobody can use it as self defense. Nobody recovers from it like a wound. It’s not simple. It’s a complex hate crime against women.

On another note, I don’t like bullying. I’ve been a bullying victim for many years. And even worse, IN REAL LIFE. But I never would’ve done that. Because plainly, I’m not sexist.

Chris Chan was porn sick. That’s it. He harassed women, did something unforgivable to his mother, and became “trans” to intimidate lesbians into dating him. That’s a straight white man if I’ve ever seen it. The internet is cruel, but it doesn’t turn men into rapists. That’s their own doing. We need to hold men accountable for what they do. We can’t coddle them or they’ll just keep doing shit. It’s never justified!!! Never!! Even the nastiest woman doesn’t deserve it because it’s a hate crime against women as a whole!

Have empathy towards the victims. We never know what they went through, and their suffering was much worse than what a brain rotted straight white man went through. Because let’s bffr, if a man I knew told me he’s a woman because he wants to bang a lesbian, draws porn of me, and then rapes his mom AND PEOPLE ONLINE DEMAND HES CALLED A WOMAN AND THAT HE DESERVES PITY??? That would be my breaking point.

He’s a whole ass villain 😭😭 why can’t y’all see that

I don't believe in perfect villains or perfect victims.

We don't need to villianize Chris to have empathy for Barbara. We don't need to gloss over Barbara being a horrible person to feel horrible for what happened to her.

It's not a black-and-white world, no matter how much Ayn Rand wanted it to be.

Chris was severely abused and neglected by his parents. Barbara specifically fostered unhealthy attachment, which absolutely did not help in this situation.

I don't think we need to state over and over again that FUCKING YOUR DEMENTIA-RIDDEN MOTHER IS WRONG. I think that's pretty obvious by itself.

But just taking a step back and looking at the whole situation in context is important.

And it's important to realize that the collective internet didn't just "bully" Chris. They manipulated and gaslighted this person for over a decade. They derailed Chris's life and any middling chance they had at becoming a normal person. They egged on their every worst instinct and broke this person's brain and will. That goes beyond regular bullying.

I think, overall, it's the internet looking at a monster we created and then refusing to accept that harassing, bullying, gaslighting and obsessively documenting a living, breathing human being for over a decade because they're "cringe" is a bad thing. So Chris has to have been a monster from the start.

Chris is out of jail, because the judges don't know WTF to do with them. You can't hold a person in jail with no trial for more than a year, rape is really hard to prove with dementia patients, who might not even remember it, incest penalties are their own can of legal worms and trying a person as severely autistic as Chris is borderline-impossible.

The best outcome for everyone would be to put Chris in an assisted living facility. But I doubt that's gonna happen.

Also, I refuse to comment on Chris's trans status. It's between them and their psychologist. I simply don't care, because it changes very little.

Yeah, I do think Chris deserves pity. Condemnation AND pity. We shouldn't just forgive their horrible actions. But we should at least have the humility to realize that we would be capable of some monstrous shit if we were ever treated like that.

YOU don't think you would've done something horrible in that situation, but you HAVE NOT been in the same situation. And thank your lucky stars for that.

[just-doing-lesbian-things]

I headcannon Avatar Korra as a lesbian

Ik the fandom largely recognizes her as bi, and idt the creators knew about comphet so they probs didn't even know they could make her a lesbian after everything with Mako, but her romantic journey feels ridiculously similar to my experience as a lesbian who dealt with deeply rooted comphet (compulsory heterosexuality) and I want to explain why and how this character means to much to me in this respect

(Don't come for me; it's a f***ing headcannon and I acknowledge that it's not anything more than that)

Background: Comphet

So comphet is ultimately borne from a lack of representation. When you're a little kid in a society that only allows heterosexual-passing love stories to exist (and queer rep is made through a hetero lens), you often don't even realize that you can feel same-sex love and attraction; that it's even an option. So when you do feel those feelings you chalk it up to something else.

It technically affects everyone, but it disproportionally affects lesbians (which is why many lesbians get up in arms about other groups of people using the term to describe non-lesbian experiences) because when this happens in a patriarchal society--one that centers men and men's stories--being a girl/woman who doesn't like men is astoundingly difficult to wrap your brain around because everything is pushing you at men.

It can be even harder to wrap your brain around than being asexual (note: i say can be), because at least with pure asexuality you aren't attracted to anyone, whereas lesbians not only don't feel the "right" feelings for men, they feel them towards other women. And as women themselves who (1) may never have truly wanted to receive those feelings from men but (2) have been raised to expect that sort of attention from only men, getting over that those feelings are okay to feel for women (that it's not inherently predatory as men's attraction to women is made out to be and can really feel like when you're not attracted to men at all) It's a clusterfuck basket of feelings to sort through. And this leads to a lot of tension as you struggle against your own self-expectations in multiple areas.

Why I See Korra As A Lesbian:

1. What we know about her upbringing.

The Avatarverse is queerphobic. We learn about that in the comics when Korra tells her parents about her relationship with Asami, and from her later conversation with Kya. Same-sex relationships are taboo in the Avatar world, a topic of conversation best not shared, and best experienced on the DL so right away we have a representation issue. And

We learn pretty early in Korra's story that she's been isolated from peers her whole life. She's spent her whole life training at the compound and Naga is her only friend. This level of isolation means her only experiences of romantic relationships are going to be from witnessing her parents, coupled White Lotus members/guards/etc, and what she hears from mainstream stories--which again, as we learned from the comics, were likely not queer as queer relationships are taboo.

We don't see the same level of outright misogyny from Korra's era like we saw from Aang's era, but the centering of men was still there baked into the familial gender roles and expectations--meaning the centering of men in women's lives was probably-definitely also there.

All of those points together means that Korra's upbringing most likely gave her a heterosexual expectation for herself and lends itself to a situation where a young lesbian would definitely have some comphet to work through.

2. Her relationship with Mako.

Often, lesbians dealing with comphet will "choose" guys to have crushes on based on their perceived social value (often it's the mainstream safe option or "the underdog") and sometimes lesbians know they're choosing this guy, and sometimes it's more subconscious, often experienced getting oddly obsessive only to discover they're not into him once he reciprocates or the relationship is established ("getting a boyfriend has been achieved. societal validation unlocked. but wait, why don't I like the reality of having a boyfriend?").

That "oh she likes him" music played for Korra after Mako pulled impressive stuff at the Pro Bending arena and was waving to the crowd. And like, yes, people can become more attractive based on their actions and achievements, but a lesbian under comphet would definitely see Mako prove himself to be an impressive guy (loved by an entire cheering audience) and go "I choose that one." I myself used to scan a room, pick the most conventionally attractive guy, and go "i want that one to like me" and then genuinely thought I liked him. This behavior is not about actual attraction, it's about a subconscious understanding of social dynamics and what you need to be valuable to a community--emphasis on the subconscious.

She gets pretty obsessive about him, which makes total sense if he's her first crush and she's been isolated her whole life, but also lines up with the comphet lesbian.

That line in her confession, too, "I really like you and I think we were meant for each other." Like, girl, what soulmate romance novels have you been reading between training sessions?? And this doesn't mean she couldn't have actually been attracted to Mako, but it does mean she really built him up in her head (and what she should expect from a chosen guy).

Then they get together, and you know how long that lasted for? Like, two episodes. This was where I started to think she never actually liked Mako. Immediately Korra starts picking fights with him and then quickly physically separates herself from him. And she does this to him almost every time they're in a scene together after they start dating. Meanwhile, Mako was just being a relatively supportive, attentive boyfriend so clearly her own feelings were the trigger. This wasn't a problem of personalities clashing, it really seemed like Korra didn't like the reality of being in a relationship with Mako.

In the end Mako takes it on that he's just not equipped to handle being the support-partner to the Avatar and Korra agrees that they're better off as friends, I even seem to remember her being the one to verbalize that they made better friends than gf/bf all after she worked so hard to convince him to be with her. And why I ask you? Possibly because as soon as she had the boyfriend, she realized she didn't actually want a boyfriend. Emphasis on the boy.

She took like zero social cues from him: He says he's confused, she jumps in and kisses him. He's uncomfortable with her grabbing his arm, she tells him to play along (translation: "suck it up, this is happening"). And then there was that scene where she kissed him out of nowhere in the locker room. (And Korra picks up on social cues from everyone else, so it's not an autism thing or something.) This is actually behavior you'll see frequently from people who are more into the idea of a person than the actual person. Liking an actual person requires acknowledging their personhood (not just how great they are), and Korra does way less of that than she does of deciding how things with Mako can or should go all, the way up to their mutual decision to just be friends. And lesbians under comphet? Yeah, liking the idea of a guy is the closest they usually get to actually liking a guy.

I don't doubt that Korra doesn't care for Mako, later seasons definitely proved that time and time again, but: a lesbian under comphet could very easily mistake that care for different feelings and lead to a relationship like what Korra had with Mako.

3. Her Intro to Bolin

It's such a small thing, but that first moment she has with him in the gym, the way she bristles at his "implication" that they were "together" screams bby lesbian to me. Because I did this. Often times I was looking out for such implications. And I've been a bby lesbian so I would know (technically still am).

4. Apart from her intense and then very short-lived feelings for Mako, we never see her express interest in a guy again.

And four seasons does not translate to a lifetime of examples, but several guys are shown to express interest in Korra over those four seasons (I'm including Prince Wu hitting on her in their first encounters) and meanwhile we only see Korra interested in two people: a guy and a gal. And one of them, I think, can be really well explained by comphet.

5. What Her Relationship with Asami Tells Us

The way Korra acted toward Asami when she had feelings for her was completely different from the way she expressed her feelings for Mako. And, like, yes, she's been through at least two seasons of trauma since she first thought she liked Mako so she's changed, and this was a show on Nickelodeon so they wanted the queer to be as subtle/nonexistent as possible, but still:

The way Korra acts while liking Asami is c o m p l e t e l y different from how she acted when she was in her Mako phase.

Even after they get together in the comics, the way Korra expresses her interest in Asami is still completely different from her interest in Mako. Her interest in Mako was obsessive and forceful and after they got together it was very platonically comfortable in small moments before she consistently turned combative. Her interest in Asami was receptive and emotional, and then when they got together it was secure, protective, and fierce. And I'm not saying bisexuals can't experience this difference between two partners of different genders, but as a lesbian who dealt with comphet and then started dating the actual correct gender for her sexuality, her relationship with Mako screams of forcing something she thought she wanted. Especially when compared to her relationship with Asami.

In Conclusion

Arguments could be made for ace umbrella rep in Korra, and certainly the fandom's consensus is that she's bisexual rep, but I wanted to express a different possibility; one that never gets fully explored in media.

In the end: she's a cartoon character, so any aspect of her personhood is completely dependent on her creators (like what stan lee said about people who ask him which superhero would win in a fight, the answer is "whoever I want to win.") and while I super doubt the creators knew they could go this route to explain Korra (meaning it's probably not in the cards for actual cannon) I still hold this headcannon dear to me because I see so much of my own (misguided) romantic history reflected in it.

Thanks for reading.

[jewishregulus]

hold on because your thing with alecto carrow & the carrow twins……… you really did something there

listen okay i could go so crazy about them . i have so much lore trapped away in my brain . but i am going to summarize so fast and quick bc they drive me crazy….

general info abt both of them : they r born in japan bc the carrow family moves there post grindlewald and their mom dies and when she dies they move back to the england but they r poor af after everything so pureblood society looks down on them for being traitors. cue them fighting the entire wizaridng war to be given respect and seen as a genuine member of the sacred 28 and using intimidation and violence to do so… a if i cannot be better than them i will be so much worse moment . their dad is normal and loves them very much they just choose to be evil like that. their mom was a sweet angel also and everyday i cry over her even tho i invented her to be dead . whatever

alecto has a weird misandrist complex in which she hates men but is also performing for them all the time , a man hating lesbian who also can’t escape using the patriarchy to validate her skills and ambition. she loves spiders bc they are matriarchal . she bases her worth off of how well she appeals to others and has so her whole life to the point she barely has a sense of self . she wants to kiss lily evans on the mouth and she worships her like an absolute angel it’s serious and vicious . the few scraps of herself she has left are all about knowledge. she is obsessed w language and translation and tries to learn literally any language she can ever . despite this she still can’t give herself a voice . she wants barty crouch jr dead for the crime of being a man and a degenerate which like fair of her . evan n reg r chill tho bc game respects game . i think if she got the chance to explore Life she’d actually choose to become a teacher like voldemort Made her become , but she would be actually pretty good tbh. her and barty regularly brawl in the teachers lounge. alecto kicks his ass. in the modern college au in my head they are regrettably roommates and each conversation they have sets gay lesbian solidarity back 15 years . alecto is studying classics and women’s studies as a minor …. ik feminism is a big part of her character but chat do not reduce her to this u don’t get it … she has a deep connection to lady macbeth and the movie the handmaids tale . here is her vibe :

and amycus is his mothers son who does whatever alecto wants him to bc he just wants to be by her side. they are so aggressively co dependent . he is obsessed w magical plants and herbology and his favorite thing in the world is a magical venus flytrap he keeps in his dorm that evan keeps putting random drops of blood into the mouth of . his dream career would probably be using magical plants to make new medicines n poisons n such . hogwarts resident weed dealer . therefore he n barty r actually chill . he just misses his mom like so much 😭 he is consistently in morning over the life he could have had . he’s pretty good friends w everyone he’s not like a loner but he is lonely deep in his chest…… of course bc alecto is his sister #feministwomenloveamycuscarrow . every carrow is linked to an insect in my head and amycus is a praying mantis . …. he has the same capability for cruelty like he also is on the field w alecto during the war but like he’d rather be gardening :/. modern college au he’s probably studying biology and is the rlly menacing president of the gardening club. and u think this means he is secretly sweet but he’s literally evil. him n reg have a crazy friendship going in in which they do the craziest romantic shit but it is completely platonic. i’m talking like candle lit dinners . in my head he has a weird situationship w rabastan (who is another story….) but also i have a *whispers* oc….. who in the fic i have planned for them in my head (which i will never write) he ends up w and his name is maxx <3 but i will never talk abt ocs on here . i have some shame. amycus would follow alecto to hell if she asked (he just wishes she would stop going the- *car runs me over*)

here’s amycus vibes

i have so much more i could say abt them . there is so much in my head they have such a deep and complex story … i will take any excuse to yap abt them . anyways they are both gay and one day i will write the alectolily sugar mommy au in which lily is the sugar mommy bc she’s a super famous author n alecto works at an antique book store doing translation n repair <3333 and it’s completely accidental lily keeps paying to borrow these super old books and eventually she just pays for alecto to come over and help her research and then one thing leads to another . and alecto is guffawed when she realizes. amycus. thinks it his hilarious. i think her and lily would have an academic rivals to loves thing going on in canon and in like Any school setting but also just in general. they could be 5 years into their relationship and still competing to be the smartest . i think there is rosekiller alectolily double date hilarity potential. also have a lot of thoughts abt them paralleling to the rosier twins but what do i know … i will leave that to the masters ….

anyways that was my yapping . hope someone felt enthralled .

[lesbianslovebts]

Serious question: Do you think it’s possible to « fall for » a member of BTS (as in the only guy — no men IRL) and still be a lesbian? Comphet really has me in a chokehold 😩😩

Oh, absolutely. Let me tell you about my journey of self discovery, and hopefully that will give you some peace. The earliest gay thoughts I can pinpoint was in third grade, when I was eight, but it wasn't until I was twelve that I knew for sure that I liked girls. At that point, I just kind of assumed that I liked boys as a base line, so girls were an "addition" that made me bi. From then until the end of college, I got crushes on girls and boys, but there was a big difference that took me a long time to notice.

Basically, it was that I fell for all my female friends and enjoyed spending time together, but when I had a "crush" on a boy, it was because they said something nice to me once or twice. I thought that meant I liked them even though I strongly disliked that feeling. I would get mad, for example, when I had a crush on a boy (because it wasn't real).

I learned about comphet towards the end of college and realized that's probably what all of my so-called crushes on boys were up until that point. It was becoming clear that I was a lesbian. But the one thing that had me hemming and hawing for so damn long were these pretty boys in my phone. 😩 And surprisingly, it was my cishet mom who helped me work through a lot of it lmao. Here are some thing we've discussed that might help you:

"I know for sure that I'm gay, but BTS are hot."

You can recognize and acknowledge that certain men are attractive without being attracted to them.

"But why do I keep thinking they're so pretty?"

The hair, the makeup, the jewelry, the outfits...hello? Sometimes, they just look like lesbians, what can I say shfjsjdjgkfk. Makes the lesbian brain go brrr.

"It doesn't feel right to be smitten with a boyband as a lesbian."

What about the straight girls who obsess over Taylor Swift? That doesn't make them gay.

"But what if I fall in love with a Real Life Man?"

Then you're bi, yay!

...

Basically, I just want you to know that if the only men you think twice about are men that are 100% unattainable, then you don't need to worry. I tell myself I don't have to worry about sexy Calvin Klein Jungkook unless he shows up on my doorstep. And you should, too! (/j, joking)

[kalims]

✉ ⋮ idk I just had an urge to do this because my mind decided to remember my obsession with quanxi and her gfs. <3 I HATE THIS BYE

fem!reader reveals that she's into girls to their admirers/freind. ft. not all genshin men and itto being dumb as hell. not everyone likes reader romantically.

fluff, angst perhaps, one-sided crush on diluc and kaeya's part.

diluc

"oh."

he immediately pieces things together the moment he processes your words. he's speechless and doesn't know how to react so he just blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

it takes a few whole seconds for him to regain his composure that is currently reduced to an embarassed, shocked mess. embarassed because why couldn't his blinded eyes see it? he could clearly see the difference between the way you converse with him and a certain blue haired vengeful woman.

you're more attentive, listening to the half hearted spews of vengeance spilling from her mouth. and he's never seen you look so.. what's the word? excited, happy maybe? he doesn't know how to explain.

he apologizes profusely, giving you a drink and saying it's on the house tonight. the only thing on his mind was to recognize boundaries and get over his little crush immediately.

kaeya

"that's quite the surprising revelation.."

let's get this straight, he may seem cool and understanding but he's legit panicking inside his head. lighty scolding himself to keep it together, he can't force love that doesn't even have attraction!

kaeya gets over it pretty quickly and starts teasing you, saying sometimes along the lines of: "heh, don't you think rosaria would like it too?" mentions her name in every sentence and makes it so fucking obvious that there's an inside secret going between the two of you.

rosaria only stares at him, unimpressed and exhausted because it's kaeya. she doesn't like things being kept from her either way so she asks you ONCE on 'what's his deal' and scoffs quietly when you look close to having a seizure.

kaeya wingman era.‼️

kaedehara kazuha

"I've known for a while now, when are you telling captain?"

this mf, this mf right here. HE KNOWS. says unintentionally concerning things like, he's known from the first time your gaze landed on her 'high and mighty silhouette'. low key got poetic.

tells you that he hopes to get TWO mothers soon and you have so pinch his arm when beidou comes strutting in with a curious raise of her brow and a grin appearing in her mouth.

best wingman ever if he ever gets over his teasing phase, he's smooth as HELL. "captain beidou, I've noticed that miss (name) has been feeling under the weather, I remember her saying something about home sickness." "really? huh... they never mentioned anything about that.. I'll go ahead and help her then."

gorou

"H-HER EXCELLENCY-- I-I.. mean, thank you for informing me of these.. uh--"

turned bright red, keeps tripping over his words and pausing as if he's realizing that he's supposed to be the strict, calm and composed general.

drinks respect women juice TM. gets all starry eyed when he spots you and kokomi taking a walk together in watatsumi Island, ALONE. becomes a fanboy for a minute before realizing. 'oh no!! her excellency and miss (name) might be in danger!! D:'

he gives me overprotective vibes so he proteccs the lesbians. 😇

arataki itto

"hUUuuH? does that mean you're into oni?" "no. arataki."

feels like his brain is frying from trying to comprehend your sentence so his mind goes like: so she's into oni..! that's good cuz' I'm the resident oni in town! 😎

when you begrudgingly explain to him that you're interested in girls rather than boys. he says 'OHHH' so loudly then proceeds to scream 'OHHH??' more loudly again because he realizes you have something for his .arch.enemy. 👺

calls you his enemy now cause there ain't no way you LIKE LIKE the tengu warrior he LOST to, like? out of all girls out there why u gotta like her. >:(

"that tengu girl?? really?? talk about shit taste." "can you shut the fuck up, do you want the whole city to know??"

[olderthannetfic]

hi hi history-non again, sorry I know it's a very

ahem wide and girthy ahem

ask, and i'm sorry for not narrowing it down farther my brain is smooth as butter and the dart board, so to speak, is. big. i feel like im throwing my dart in the ocean of 'what i don't know' and trying to spear a fish who might speak to me like the queer elder i never ha d ;lkasjd;flkas damn you small conservative town ANYWAYS

i guess okay maybe do you have any favourite figureheads? whats your fave pieces of lgbtqa+ media (like books or shows?)

thanks again and sorry for.

uh.

big.

--

Lolololol. Yes.... it’s so... big...

In the 90s, the writers of nonfiction who I found really inspirational were Susie Bright and Kate Bornstein. My Gender Workbook was a classic. I gather there’s a new edition.

I was a massive, massive nerd, so my actual favorite queer book as a 14-year-old is one that will be a bit... uh... much if you’re not feeling very intellectual. It’s Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History. This thing is a massive doorstop of a book that collects academic journal articles on third gender roles from various cultures. I was obsessed with this thing. Again, it’s academic journal articles, not popular nonfiction, so expect that level of impenetrable prose.

I was also a giant weeb, so I read a bunch of books on the history of gay sex in Japan. It’s pretty interesting how much people assume the “m/m sex = sin” shit was worldwide and how much it just was not.

In terms of fiction, I’ve always struggled to find f/f media I relate to. I really like the tv adaptations of Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet. Lots of fucked up problematicness and gorgeous visuals. Gotta love the lady with the strap-on and the gold body paint!

For other queer media, I was a big fan of Velvet Goldmine and of Pedro Almodóvar’s older films, which are full of every problematic kink you can think of. They also have a lot of het I like, like the lady being coerced into sex (that she enjoys) by the drag queen who impersonates her famous mother she has a lot of mommy issues about... except said drag queen is really an undercover police officer. Just... whut. (All the “straight” stuff in Almodóvar’s films is also bugfuck nuts and often kind of queer.)

I really, really, really loved Crash. Not the shitty one that won an oscar: the car crash perverts one full of weird UST. There’s a ton of straight sex in this too, along with every gender combo and a laundry list of upsetting kinks. It’s just every kind of weird perv thing. (”Weird art film full of sex and problematicness” is pretty much the defining feature of movies I liked as a teen. I loved Kissed, that het necrophilia movie too.)

Stage Beauty is probably my favorite film for bi vibes. It’s this meditation on identity as the English stage was changing over from having men play women to having actual actresses. It ends in f/m, but it’s definitely a very queer film.

If you want slice of life stuff, I guess you could try Dykes to Watch Out For (the comic that’s the source of the bechdel test) or the Tales of the City novel series. These will both give you a sense of what was going on in certain queer communities in the late 20thC. If you want something relatively fluffy, Maurice is a historical costume drama with a happy ending. I found it awfully slow as a college student, but it does have naked Rupert Graves (Lestrade from Sherlock), so...

----

See, this is hard to answer because I came of age and did all of my reading of that kind a long time ago. I pretty quickly moved on to fangirl media, which I have always liked a lot better than other arguably queer stuff. Back in the 90s, that meant Japanese stuff and fic. Later, I had access to more flavors of by-fujoshi-for-fujoshi media.

So my actual favorite m/m books are a bunch of “m/m romance” (i.e. American BL being sold as ebooks on amazon). If you want live action TV and fandomy vibes, you’re better off with Trapped (hot cop/mobster action!) or one of those Thai series about schoolboys or something than stuff made by cis gay men in the US.

I also came of age in an era when “queer” media was very Cis Gay Men And Sometimes Cis Lesbians with an occasional nod to bi people existing... maybe. Kate Bornstein and a few others were raising the profile of MtF transsexuals (the term in use at the time) who wanted surgery or even, gasp, maybe didn’t want bottom surgery in some cases. Anything about FtMs or nb/agender/etc. identities was practically invisible. I saw the term ‘genderqueer’ around a bit, but it was mostly in contexts that were very tryhard and unappealing to me.

(You haven’t given any details, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’re like much of tumblr and the flavors of queerness you relate to aren’t so much the Cis Gay Men Only culture that makes up quite a bit of queer history and older queer media.)

I can tell you what I liked as a teen, but not everybody is into fucked up art films that may not have happy endings. I can try to rec things about queer culture in the 90s, but I probably don’t have great recs for way earlier or later than that... unless it’s so much earlier that I’ve researched it while writing fic of some historical canon or other. A lot of how I learned about queer culture myself was from magazines or from reading soc.bi on usenet or just from living through the 90s--not typically from books that are easy to unearth and just hand to someone now.

I tend to just not like anything in the contemporary romance or slice of life genres, regardless of gender and orientation, so while I’ve watched/read a bit more queer stuff like this, especially in the past when I had less access to queer media, it’s not a space I’m great at reccing in. And that’s unfortunate because a lot of that type of art gives you a better sense of what other queer people were like in other eras and/or it’s a safer rec than some bananas crazy BDSM film.

I was, and am, very kinky (though pretty lazy in terms of actual practice), so a lot of my reading and media interest was bound up in that also. Obviously, I was quite interested in the drawings of Tom of Finland or the photography of Robert Mapplethorpe, but are you going to be into photos of some guy shoving a whip handle in his ass? I love the movie Cruising... it’s about serial killers and leather and homophobia and is every bit as potentially traumatizing as that sounds.

I feel you on the problem of finding queer elders. There isn’t really an obvious way to go about this.

[notmrskennedy]

NSYNC’s Greatest Hit

Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

A/N - So I wrote this on national coming out day in like twenty minutes. Here we are much later but I hope you like it. Hopefully as much as I liked my bestie’s edits on it (btw I hope you get the title joke - I’m such a nerd whoops)

Summary - Reader doesn’t know how to tell their best friend that they’re bi...

W/C - 1.4k

Warnings - I swear like a sailor’s mother and general coming out anxiety 

----------

“So, did you like the movie?” he asks and if I’m completely being honest, I’ve forgotten he’s speaking to me. Spencer’s been splitting his time between excitedly explaining what I think might be the plot of this Saturday night movie, and animatedly telling the Saturday night movie—and I might be wrong—to fuck off. But I can’t be 100% sure.

Because the movie’s in Korean.

And he’s forgotten how to speak English for the last hour and a half.

I’ve known Spencer for a really long time, and we’ve had our fair share of grievances over the last however long we’ve been practically family. My biggest problem with him, though, was that he never would explain the plot of a movie to me in English. He would sit on my couch, eat my popcorn, promise that this time will be different, and then explain an entire Korean film to me in Korean. As if I hadn’t barely passed high school!

Sure, I never really mind the rambling—English, or whatever his new language obsession is—but tonight is different. Tonight, I’m more focused on where my ex-roommate had stashed her very forgotten vodka bottle in this stupid apartment. Or if the liquor store around the corner would sell to a girl who didn’t really look 23 and had lost her license.

I know Spencer is staring at me, but I can’t break the circle of thoughts. Vodka, liquor store, vodka, liquor store, vodka—

Can’t he stop looking at me? Can’t he stop looking at the sweat beading on my forehead? Just quit analysing the way I’m biting my nails off, finger by finger? Can’t he just stop looking? Before I fucking combust?

It’s hard enough to admit to myself that maybe—just maybe—I’m not just jealous of pretty girls. And maybe—just maybe—it’s not all that dissimilar to how I look at pretty boys. Because there are a lot of girls that are pretty. Ethereal. Too fucking hot for me to form a coherent sentence.

How is this unobservant idiot going to take the news? I didn’t take it well, and I admitted it to myself!

Here we are, sitting on this ragged old couch—the one that he nearly had a coronary over when I told him I’d got it over Craigslist—imprinted with the pair of us. What am I going to do if he doesn’t take the news well and I have to stare at this couch every day? What am I going to do with a reminder of the friendship I’d lost?

“Y/N? Am I speaking Korean again?” he asks again and I swallow in acknowledgement. If I just move my head. Come on, Y/N, just look at him. There’s no point though; if I look at him, I have to actually tell him. Actually come out of the closet. I haven’t thought up a good joke yet to ease the inevitable pain.

But he’s Dr. Freaking Spencer Reid, FBI profiler! Shouldn’t he be able to see right through me? He should know. It would be so much easier if he just knew. I want him to be able to read my mind and tell me what I should tell him.

“It’s not Korean,” I finally manage to force out. His eyebrows furrow, his cheeks tighten, his brain is working three million miles an hour to determine if I’m dying.

It’s not dying, it’s...wanting to shrink back into the couch cushions so I don’t have to work up the courage. The courage I’ve been trying to work up for weeks. The courage that is keeping my eyes on the screen even as the credits begin to roll.

He nudges me with his elbow. “Are you—are you okay? You seem kind of shaken up.”

I chance a glance at his adorable, concerned, puppy eyes and think about crying. This is Spencer—my best friend—and if he doesn’t know already, then maybe I should just stay in the closet.

What if I shattered our relationship? I mean, I know that Spencer isn’t going to hate me over this, but my brain is throwing a fit. I feel like I could run or puke ‒‒even before I’ve had the chance to drown my worries with an entire liquor store‒‒ or god, maybe both. My brain is screaming that he’ll laugh, make some comment about a threesome. I mean, what if Dr. Spencer Reed was secretly some dude-bro in a…fantastic disguise?

Peeking over, he’s definitely not a dude-bro. The rose-coloured tie is hint enough.

Spencer was so adamant about routines, distrusted change, thrived on reliability. We’d been having the same ancient fight over who was the better Doctor for at least eight years. If I changed, would he recover? Let alone, would I recover if this changed our friendship? Could I still live up to his expectations? Would he still just see me as me? Would I no longer be Y/N, but attention-seeking, indecisive Y/N?

Jesus Christ, they don’t tell you that coming out is way too fucking nerve-wracking at Orientation to Not Being Heterosexual.

“Earth to Y/N,” Spencer sing-songs, “what’s going on?”

Oh, yeah. Gotta use actual real-life words. “Oh, right, yeah. Sorry, I just—I’m just—why is this so freakin’ hard?”

Spencer groans, whines, and then drops his head into his hands. “Morgan was right, right? You’re in love with me or something and I just—“

“What?” I turn entirely towards him. Don’t even bother keeping the shock off my face. “Derek thinks I’m in love with you?”

I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out. Even when he blushes and stutters and can’t look me in the eyes anymore. It’s a blinding change of pace. He runs his fingers through his hair, tries not to let his voice wobble too much. “Are you?”

I laugh harder and wipe the tears from my eyes. “No, I’m not in love with you, Spencer. You’re like my brother.”

The relieved sigh he lets out can be heard around the world. The ‘thank god’ is harder to miss.

“Dude, I can’t believe Morgan thinks I’m in love with you. Out of everyone on your team, I’d totally be screwing Elle.”

The silence is deafening. Oh shit.

Even with the air sucked out my lungs, I fill the fucking silence royally well. “I mean—I was—there—I was going to tell you that—that—that I think I’m bi—bisexual, I mean—you know? Women and men. Men and women?”

I glance over to Spencer—jaw dropped, eyebrows furrowed, nose pinched. I know it’s him just processing the two tons of information I’d just thrown at him. I know he’s just being Spencer about it, trying his best to think before he speaks. But Jesus, would it kill him to say something?

“It explains a lot,” he bluntly snorts. A truly unhelpful tidbit of information. I groan and think about curling into a little ball. He pauses to smile to himself, nudging my foot with his. “It’s not bad! Garcia just keeps talking about how much you smile at Elle and the whole cuffed jeans thing—it just—it just makes sense.”

It was my turn to drop my jaw, but he doesn’t stop trying to prove his point that everything is starting to make sense. If anything he gets more excited. “And did you know that 3.4 women identify as lesbian or bisexual? Or that 3.6 men do? Or that Americans are more likely to report same-sex attraction but not identify as part of the community?”

“So you aren’t weirded out?”

“No,” he answers, “Why would I be? Did you think I’d be upset? Is that why you’ve been weird?”

I scrub my hands over my face. “Um, yeah, Spencer. Usually, it’s pretty hard to come out of the closet. Especially to people you respect.”

He muddles over what I’ve said. His fingers keep digging at a crease in his pants. Maybe thirty seconds later—a long thirty seconds—he cocks his head to the side and states, clear as mud, “I would’ve thought it’d be easy because you know me. I mean, you know that about me.”

“Know what about you?”

“I thought you knew that I’m sexually attracted to men and women.”

My throat constricts—not because I’m freaked out about it—but because I’m freaked out. “Did I miss this conversation?”

“I mean, I told you about how hot the main character of the movie is. And about how his girlfriend is really hot too. Did you miss that part? I spent nearly the last half hour—”

“Korean, Spencer,” I sigh. “It was in fucking Korean.”

“Oh!” he chirps and squirms like a puppy. “In that case, we get to talk about it again!”

“English, please,” I beg, and everything seems as it should be. Even if seeing the indecisive nature of our Swedish fish and sour patch kids popcorn bowl means something a little more.

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

I've been thinking about my mom and sexuality.

Her obsession with lesbians. Her long term paranoia, from even before I knew I was queer, that I was a lesbian. Her fear of their seductive power, that a good pure girl might be suddenly turned. The story she told me about how at camp one year when she was younger another girl put my mother's head in her lap and combed out her hair with her fingers--she told this to me as a cautionary tale, she felt threatened by whatever this experience had done to her, but I was never sure exactly what was so bad about it or why. The extreme specificity of her warning that I never let another girl “pass me a candy she’s been sucking, from her mouth to mine” because we would end up kissing. (How do you even come up with that scenario) The fact that she, for no clear reason, felt the need to speculate on how lesbian sex worked, “do they stick things up each other??” obviously in a context of oh ewww that’s so gross but like... why are you thinking about it in such detail. Why are you talking to me about it?? Then there’s the time she told me that "thinking women are more attractive than men doesn't make you a lesbian, women just ARE more attractive than men, men are all blocky with those weird dangly parts and women are so pretty" Which.. as a trans man/gay-leaning-if-anything aspec who has quite a lot of appreciation for the male body.. No that... Isn't a self-evident fact of the universe, actually. Her reactionary hatred of “immodest” women, her obsession with specifically other women’s dress. The way she had to avert her eyes from sexy ads or image, even just the suggestion of them, even black-and-white silhouettes. The way that, when we drove past an old dance hall, with no one there, her brain and verbal commentary immediately ran to “imagine all those old time dances with boys lifting up the girls and their skirts swishing around and no panties on” (?????is that even accurate??? I remember being So fucking confused) But she could never explore what's going on there because it's sinful. So it stays under the surface, pushed down and repressed and feared and twisted and festering into this dark force, denied yet leaking out... 

Her obsession with everyone finding a good Christian straight heteronormative amatonormative relationship. Her insistence that you will "get over it" eventually if you live long enough. That my bachelor uncle would have married a woman had he not died early. She straight up shipped my ancient bachelor great-uncle with a woman who sat next to him in church. (He also died single, surprise) I remember, even when I was much younger, feeling insulted and violated both on behalf of them and myself--that she would sit in judgement on their personal lives, that she would disregard their choices and preferences like that, it seemed disrespectful--but also, even then I knew that I identified with my bachelor uncles more than with anyone else in my family. And here she was saying, that's not real, that's not worthwhile, it's only an in between, you WILL find someone and you MUST find someone, your feelings are irrelevant. It will happen. It doesn’t matter what you think. It doesn’t matter how old you are. No one is allowed to be single forever. No one is safe. Marriage will find you.

Because this is the way things are and the way things have to be, and they're this way because God loves us, it's better this way, everyone should be in a marriage--like my marriage, where I weep to my child and his friends (who absolutely did not ask) about how sexually unsatisfied I am, because I did the right thing and never discussed sex outside of marriage and my husband is largely disinterested and as masturbation is also a sin he's my only recourse--this marriage, where I complain about him fairly regularly, but we said at the beginning that divorce was not an option because it's a sin--everyone must have a marriage like this. To be happy. God wants us to be happy.

And I'm like... Are you? Are you fucking happy? Why would you want to perpetuate this?

Obviously the answer is because she’s trapped in this cycle herself and she really believes it’s true it must be true it’s the only thing that’s true it has to be true, her life is falling apart but it’s only because the devil hates God’s beloved children and it would be worse if she stepped out from under God’s protection, God is the only thing keeping her sinful body together, she has to bring others into God’s safety from where they are in danger of experiencing the false, hypnotizing “joy” of The World. 

[nothorses]

hey sorry if it comes off as weird, but i'm a bit desperate. i had a real bad time figuring out my identity growing up and for like, the past 4~5 years i've become really comfortable and happy whenever i referred and thought of myself as a gay nb trans man; i experience legit gender euphoria whenever ppl address or acknowledge me as such, and the most connection i feel is to gay/bi men/men-aligned ppl. that said, i've struggled with obsessive/intrusive thoughts since i'm like, 12~13 due to (1/?)

a phobia, and they often appeared when i was already feeling low/stressed/anxious over unrelated stuff. y'know when you're having a good time and suddenly your brain goes 'oh hey, remember that thing you have doubts about and makes you distressed? and you think it's not true? well, here it is again (: you're welcome!'. that's it.

so social isolation due to the pandemic has taken a toll on my mental health and recently i have been... struggling a lot not only with dysphoria (i was supposed to start hrt last year but it was postponed due to, well), but also with obtrusive/intrusive thoughts over 'how i'm faking it, i am actually a cis lesbian' (i never felt attracted truly to women, even tho i had kissed two before, and i am Positively attracted to men in a way i can only describe as 'gay').

it has gotten to a point where i cannot think about, y'know, woman characters from stuff i like that i feel like this is somehow a sign i'm actually a lesbian; i have been dreaming a lot of situations i'm either framed as a lesbian or a straight girl, i have been hyperaware of how cis ppl perceive me (pre-transition, as 'girl') and obsessing over little shit like, if women are looking at me in certain ways when i have to go out (sometimes even 'wishing' it, as if it wanting to 'prove' anything).

i feel...... exhausted, none of these make me feel good, all of this makes me feel distressed. i get dreadful when i take 'lol ur lesbian' results at stupid internet quizzes too. i feel like i cannot talk to anyone about it bc i feel like they're gonna try to feed me either 'internalized lesbophobia' or terf rhetoric, which is smth im v aware of, and part of the reason i've been obsessing over as well.

i had mild doubts about stuff before (like if i was rly a binary trans guy or nb, or if i was bisexual) but none was... like this, y'know.  i was also dumb and read a bbc article about detransitioning ppl which opened with 'studies say most trans ppl dont doubt' etc. featuring two cis lesbians that detransitioned after entering a relationship with one another. i feel rly rly rly dreadful i wish i could go back to feeling like myself (gay and guy) like i did before.

i'm sorry for the longest fucking ask btw, and also, tumblr hadnt let me send the rest for like, Hours, i'm deeply sorry

[Edited for formatting]

I think a lot of this is very normal, especially for transmascs.

We’re constantly fed this idea that we can’t really trust our own perception of reality, that we don’t know ourselves as well as others do, and that the things we believe about ourselves are temporary, silly, and “signs” of some deeper reality that someone else knows for us. It’s only natural that we’d internalize some of those feelings, and struggle to trust even the most irrefutable evidence of our own realities.

If it helps to have some tools in those moments, a couple of reminders:

Cis girls do not typically dread the idea of being girls. They might dread the social repercussions or expectations, they might hate girls who look/act in certain ways, but they do not typically hate that they are girls.

If you are feeling dread over the idea that you might be attracted to women, you probably aren’t! It’s good to work on feeling more at peace with the possibility, because orientation can be very fluid for some folks, and being ready to accept yourself if things change takes a lot of pressure off- but if you don’t want to be with women, you just literally do not have to be with women. For any reason. Even if you are “secretly” attracted to them, if you don’t want to be with them anyway, you simply do not have to be.

Trans people experience doubt. We experience it all the time. We experience it pretty much endlessly! Maybe there are trans folks who never, ever doubt their genders, and I’m very happy for them; but that’s the exception, not the rule, in my experience. This study talks about the steps toward trans self-acceptance, and finds each step is an ongoing process, and often a back-and-forth. It was very comforting for me to recognize the patterns & know I’m not alone.

The focus on AFAB detransitioners is driven by transandrophobia. Because saving the “poor little girls” is a compelling motivator in a misogynistic society. Most detransitioners are actually folks who were AMAB, and found the societal pressure and backlash was too overwhelming, or made things too unsafe, for them to carry on with their transitions. Most detransitioners, period, are people who had to stop because of safety issues, or lack of access to their transition needs.

It’s very normal to go through periods of high doubt, and periods of high self-assuredness. You may just have to ride this out; surround yourself with as much support and love as you can, remind yourself that those fears aren’t really based in reality, and be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Try to make choices that prioritize your mental and emotional health.

You will get through this period of doubt, and come back to finding love and joy in your identity again! It might just take a little time & patience.

(Also no worries over the sending confusion; Tumblr’s a lil broken sometimes, and it’s genuinely not even remotely an issue.)

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda Under Cut

Annabeth Chase

I feel like fandom is kinda split on her with percabeth shippers loving her but any m/m shipper I've seen does not like her, really. She is my bae tho <3

Percabeth antis grind my gears so much because they never hate Percy, nono, even though he's arguably done more questionable stuff than Annabeth. Not everyone who hates her is doing so because of a mlm ship— the Perachel stans claim that Annabeth is a misogynist. However, basically everyone that isn't trying to ship her boyfriend with Rachel is trying to ship him with Jason, Nico, or her old friend Luke. They make her out to be this horrible abusive girlboss(derogatory) that she's simply... not. She doesn't insult Percy for having ADHD just because she's highly intelligent. She doesn't physically abuse him, and doesn't lay a finger on him outside of training. She's really devoted to him in a non-anti-feminist way. They just hate her for 'getting in the way' of Nico's convoluted attraction to Percy, or Jason's close friendship with him, or Luke's rivalry with him. But those relationships all flourish the way they were intended by the author: non-romantically. It's not Annabeth's fault for being intelligent or capable or jokingly snide or determined or any of those non-stereotypically-feminine qualities. She's just out here existing and people hate her for not being a man. Sorry for the rant.

She's canonically in a relationship with Percy Jackson for most of the books they're in, but he often gets paired in canon with other male characters, such as Nico di Angelo or Jason Grace. In fan fiction (especially yaoi focused ones) she's characterized as being a stuck up know it all, but she gets into plenty of shenanigans in canon and can be pretty goofy and sweet!

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

[antimnemonic]

ok ykw here is my write up on fighting game men im obsessed w

bang shishigami: ok everyone gives him shit but you know what!!! bang is a real fuckin hero!!! yes he’s a fuck up but he comes the fuck through!!! i love him so much. i hope he finds a nice husband one day

shen long: need u all to know that whenever i was a tight black t shirt i am specifically trying to look like this

10/10 would steal gender again. also a big mood, his “i left the stove on” face

no i don’t kin him. don’t ask me this again

FAUST: his recent demeanor is troubling but after reading some interpretations abt how he’s accepted his true self and giving up masking im honestly so happy for him........... im so glad he’s in the company of ppl who accept him and want the best for him. i hope he can live a fulfilling life

MERKAVA: noodle man off the shits

JIN KISARAGI: wait a minute i hate jin. who put this here

SHAO KAHN: this is really the most tastefully slutty design in video game history. regal and imperial but with enough sneak peaks at bare skin to excite. they put zettai ryouiki on a warlord!! humanoid but toeing the monster line just enough to be interesting. handlebars. big muscle male fantasy BUT they made sure to give him thick thighs and cyclist booty AND big titties. a lot of bravado but deep down you know he’s just stupid. i want to peg him so much it’s unreal

johnny cage: yes he’s a turbo gringo however i know that if i invited him to a lasts-to-3am latino banger he would not embarrass me. i trust this white man with my life

GOLDLEWIS DICKINSON: christ what a man. i think he’s gay but if he ever needed a pretty girl to hang off his arm and make wry conversation for a high society government officials event i would fall over myself for the chance

STUN: STUN I LOVE STUN AAAAAAAAA. im a complete sucker for scary on the outside, gooey on the inside type characters. i have like, a caretaker complex and he’s a poor little meow meow so you know, premium brain candy. also im obsessed w beetles

lord raptor/ZABEL ZAROCK N ROLLLLLL: he’s an skeleton but he’s honestly so funny and charming. i would let him take me out for hamburger

my man dougie j: at this point i think captain falcon has been in more smash games than f-zero games. I see y’all when you make reductive jokes about him dumb or a pervert and i will not forgive you

“aren’t you a lesbian? where are all the chicks?” answer to this very simple. When I see hot girl my brain goes bsod. thank u for understand

[werelesbian]

Some More Realizations About Myself

So, I realize now that I think I may have had a notion I was attracted to girls at possibly a younger age than I originally thought. I first really started to express and explore an attraction to girls around 14, but I think I showed some “signs” or whatever even earlier than that. I think as early as elementary school I may have had expressed an attraction to women because I knew I was different than other kids and was a stereotypical tomboy (although I know that tomboy doesn’t necessarily equal being gay or bi). I remember thinking women were beautiful at an early age and one memory that I remember was that I thought some lady in a green shirt was absolutely beautiful and saying to myself “wow...she’s pretty”. 

As I got slightly older too, I mainly gravitated towards hanging out with some of the girls and became very possessive of one of my friends. I used to get jealous when she used to call other girls her ‘best friend’ for I wanted to, but I think I may of had a crush on her. This continued from like elementary to middle school. I even tried to push two of my friends together to be best friends so I could have her to myself. I also had a camp counselor for a summer camp that I just adored and said goodnight to her separately. Later in middle school too, I think I had a small crush on one of my mom’s friend’s kids who I’m pretty sure is a lesbian. She still isn’t bad looking. I also made a lot of gay characters too and discovered the community through Tumblr. I just kind of deemed myself pansexual or bisexual without much thought.

I started to question a bit more in high school and still called myself ‘bi’ and this is when I began to explore an attraction to girls. I crushed on girls primarily my 9th and 10th grade years. Actually thinking about it, I only really had crushes on girls in those years. There was this one guy I had a thing with but I more so ‘chose’ him to have a crush on. I just remember wanting to be around these girls I had crushes on, wanting to date one of them, but never got the chance to. I also got really jealous when my friend began to date the girl I like. Even my mom pointed out that it seemed like I liked one girl more than another. The crushes were never massive, but they were some notions that I wasn’t so straight as I thought I was. I also even went on a date with a girl, but chickened out on kissing her. I do remember having this weird swell of pride when I gave her my jacket to wear though. The funny thing is that I wasn’t totally aware that this made me bi or possibly even gay because I kept obsessing over male fictional characters. I’d often project into fantasy worlds and often times I’d created lesbian or bisexual characters with female partners. I also did this with video games too and roleplayed lesbian characters.  Just...how the fuck did I not know that this made me different?? The lack of self awareness was...apparent. I even casually talked about having crushes on girls too. And none of this ever felt wrong! It was just something in my nature.

I think deep down there was that inner wisdom or knowing that I liked girls, even if it didn’t come into conscious thought. Even when I was about to kiss that girl, I didn’t think it was wrong. I just felt pressured to. In reality, I don’t think I was ready to face my own sexuality. I’m glad I was more well-equipped now to deal with it. What really hit it in the head for me was falling for a girl early last year. I just remember being so attracted to her, wanting her attention, wanting her to like me back and even wanting to kiss her. None of this ever felt wrong. Ever. It just what it was y’know? Yes, I’ve dated men too but something always felt...off? Yes I can be attracted to men, but I don’t think I’d be able to marry one or date one again. Like, I literally want to make a wedding playlist for when I marry my future wife, not a husband. Marrying a woman sounds ten times more exciting than a man does. I can’t wait for that tension when it comes to kissing another girl and I wanna wake up with a girl in my arms everyday. My mom even noted that I looked happier being with a girl than I ever did with the boys I dated.

I just feel like I’m in this weird grey area of bisexuality because you’d think I’d be willing to marry a man or a woman, but I only want to marry a woman. People are like “You’re a lesbian!” but like....I did all this stuff with men and was obsessed with male fictional characters and had a few crushes on guys. I just feel slightly lonely where I am right now because I never had that lack of attraction to men that lesbians do, but I am more attracted to women as a whole, romantically and especially sexually. It feels like you never find bi woman who want to mainly just focus on girls and want to marry a girl down the road, much less find one who has a girlfriend. It feels like every bi girl has a boyfriend and here’s me...wanting to only date girls. I just don’t wanna date men, marry a man, or be intimate with one again. I feel slightly repulsed by it, especially by their genitals. I’m always so worried that my brain is gonna try and make me focus on dating men and liking them when I wanna focus on my attraction to women. It’s also hard for me to focus on daydreaming about girls because it wanders all the time and overthinks every little thing. It’s just so hard...

[ziracona]

The tendency in fandom to take every white girl with short hair, regardless of the status of their canonical interest or lack of interest in women and explicit interest and/or sexual history with everything but, proclaim them a lesbian queen, and then ignore or absolve them of every single horrific act they take in fiction because of this. Is not doing feminism. Women. Lesbians. Or anyone. Any favors. It’s just bad.

Somehow. Some people really do apparently need to hear that...being any specific sexuality...is not a personality trait.

And also. Women aren’t inherantly less vile than men (or anyone non-binary, agender, fluid, etc, else), and whatever bad deeds they do should be judged based on just that—on the deeds, and their context. Not their sexuality, imagined sexuality, or their gender. Becuase none of those things effect whether committing murder is bad. At all. Not even a little. And none of them. Is even a personality trait. Affecting the character’s value as a person.

It’s cool, and good, to see characters with minority identities. And it’s real nice. When it’s whatever you are. But them being whatever. Is not a personality trait. Just a fact. And sometimes. People of any type. Are not good. Pretending any minority status—gender, sexuality, race, disability, neurotype, etc—is a get out of jail free card? Is not. Doing them. Or anyone. Any favors. Personality disorder. Doesn’t make you bad. Also doesn’t make you good. Your actions do. Acting like Amy from Gone Girl did nothing wrong when she date rapes her boyfriend & then frames him for doing that to her & ruins his life, then blackmails her husband who is terrified of being murdered by her into staying with her for the sake of the child she made at a fertility clinic with his sperm without his consent, bc she’s a woman. Isn’t good. Men aren’t more deserving of violence than women. Neither is anyone else. Jane. Left an infant child in an unheated car in subzero weather in a snow storm with zombies around that easily would hear it cry and go eat it. So she could lie and say she already let zombies eat it to bait a man with easily triggerable PTSD who had just lost his family to zombies for the second time into starting a fight. Because he was injured, unarmed, weak, down an eye, and 50, while she was fit, mid 20s, healthy, and armed with a hunting knife. Because she wanted an excuse to kill him without looking bad, because she wanted the 11 year old girl she was co-parenting with him, all to herself. And her immediately responding to the dude throwing a punch by stabbing him in the stomach to escalate the fight from brawl to life or death, then losing her knife, and instead of telling him the baby was alive & she’d made it up to start a fight which could have at any point ended the fight, begging the 11 year old child to gun down her oldest surviving friend with her own hands in cold blood so that she’d get what she wanted? Is evil. As is crying on the 11 year old and using pity as a weapon to get her to stay with her if she gets mad and wants to leave when she realizes Jane staged the whole thing for an excuse to murder, and so is after realizing like a month later that she is pregnant, committing suicide, and leaving the 11 year old that she just manipulated into killing her oldest surviving friend/completely isolated on purpose so she could have her to herself, totally alone in the apocalypse to care for an infant. Jennifer’s Body? Is a fantastic film. And Jennifer didn’t deserve any of what happened to her. But not one single boy she kills during the course of that film deserved it—and explicitly so. Even the guy who could easily have been a meathead jock bully is outside alone crying becuase his best friend just died and he loved him before she decides to lure him off and eat him alive. And acting like it’s totally fine & Needy should have just let her keep eating boys instead of killing her? Is fucked up. None of them deserved to die. And no one deserves death innately more because they are or are not something that is just a factual designator of their makeup as a human. The exchange student was scared and alone and nice, the catholic kid was sweet and Needy’s friend, Chip is a bad boyfriend but he meant well and being stupid doesn’t mean you deserve to die. And this girl ate them alive. That’s not funny. Or cool. Or fine becuase they were dudes. Gertrude Robinson? Chose again and again to betray people who loved her, or trusted her—sold out victims of awful trauma to their worst nightmares. Killed friends in the worst possible ways, like it was nothing. Michael loved her, and trusted her, and tried to care for her, and she without faltering fed him to his worst nightmare and forced him to become it. There is nothing excusable about that action.

Jude Perry? Has 0 redeeming features. Didn’t even stay faithful to her poor gf & was creepy obsessed w Agnes. Literally murdered her co-worker friend just because he was happy, and she wanted to destroy things: that’s it. She didn’t even dislike him. Murdered him because he had a wife and kid and house and it seemed fun, then burned down his house, took his wife’s money, and now checks in on his kid every so often in case he ever recovers from the trauma she inflicted enough to be fun to kill. There is literally nothing good about this woman. Yes. I mean that. Because being a lesbian? Is just a thing. There is no g/b tag, there is no tag at all. Amanda Young? Got kidnapped and tortured and forced to choose between killing a man who couldn’t resist but was conscious to watch her, and letting herself die, and she killed him. Then, instead of responding to that trauma with guilt or responsibility or anger at her captor, joined up with him and started helping him kidnap people just like her. She was not forced, she was not lied to. It does not matter if John was manipulative; she is a grown ass woman and like all grown ass adults, responsible for her own actions and choices. She did not get manipulated pitifully into this—she did not go unwillingly. She volunteered, with a happy vengeance, became obsessed with John and in love with him, despite his complete lack of interest. And she did not even just do what he did. She decided on her own that no one deserved redemption, & she killed them for fun in traps that wouldn’t let them go even if they did whatever awful thing the trap demanded as a price for life, just for the fun and power trip of watching them die helpless & in agony. That was all her, & her alone. She sat in a house full of people slowly dying from organ decomposition over the course of a few hours, for no crime worse than drug addiction—the thing she of all people should have been most sympathetic to—knowing full well at any time she could have saved them and stopped the game, and did nothing. She held a woman in her arms and stroked her head lovingly while she let her die in one of the most inhumane ways possible for the crime of having not been able to break an addition. She got saved by a 16 year old child multiple times, who had done nothing more than shoplift, and stood by while he had to watch a man get his brains blown out, another burn to death in an oven. As his organs slowly dissolved too. Watched the kid kill another human being & massively traumatize himself to save her life. And responded to that by attacking & knocking him out, tying him up, locking him up for days in a tiny safe bound and gagged with an oxygen supply to keep him alive, to be a piece in another game. Left his father, who had shown up to try & save him, to starve to death in chains in a horrible abandoned rotting room, & never even told him his son was alive. Let every other addict die horribly, let that kid sustain permanent damage to his organs that will kill him young, antidote taken or not, took his dad from him, & went back to torturing without a second thought. Kidnapped a woman whose worst crime was being a doctor & dating someone while maybe separated instead of divorced from her husband, put her in a trap that would take her head off with shotgun blasts, threatened her for fun, & then killed her even after she did everything she was asked, because it was more important to her that the old man she was obsessed with think she was special and great, than for the other woman to get to stay alive another day & go home to her daughter. There is nothing sympathetic about Amanda. She’s just not only evil, but too spineless to take responsibility for her own choices & actions, & tries to hide behind a “UwU I am sad & lonely & damaged & having trauma means I can literally torture people to death to feel special & it’s really tragic and sympathetic about me, not evil. Uhm. Some people??? Commit torture-murders?? To cope??” And acting like she’s somehow a victim in this becuase she is a pretty white girl with short hair? Is fucked. Up.

But every. God damn. Time. I see this. Please. It needs. To stop. People go: “UwU pretty girl short hair want” & I go “Ok. I see where u. Come from. Indeed.” But then. They go. “Girl pretty I like. So she was blameless. For this atrocity.” Those words...

Every day. I wake up. Thinking of Janic saying. Iconically. “At least me and Regina George know we’re mean,” and I weep inside. Because I cannot fathom. Or stomach. The lack of responsibility. I will kill. Characters who cannot admit they are bad. Myself. But somehow. They become. Flames. To moths. Of the “UwU pretty white girl short hair. We stan. Victim. Queen. Love her. Never done wrong.” Boy. We all done wrong. Even all my faves. At least once. I think. ...not if we count dogs probably, but people, yes. Ok. Anyway. All this is to say. Characters. Should be judged. Based on what they did. And why. And the aftermath. Not a grouping tag. I don’t mean any of these. Make bad characters. At all. Amy is a great character. So is Jennifer. So are most of them. I have quite affection even. For Jeneffer specifically. But you can like. Character. Without proclaiming. Them perfect humans. Who never did a thing wrong. Or their acts somehow. Justifiable. And ok. And you better stop saying. Ok. Because done. To men. Men do not. Deserve violence. Any more. Than anyone else. No one deserves violence defacto for factors. Outside their control. Wtf. Really people. It’s ok too. For character. To do much bad stuff. And still like character. Villains. And often just complex characters. Sometimes just characters. Do stuff. That is bad. It’s not supposed to be not their fault. Or ok. Also. Women are not a sisterhood. Of flawless beings. Who never hurt anyone or do any bad stuff. They can. And are. Often purpotrators. Of awful acts. And when they are. It is still. Very bad. Still. An awful act. Same level. Even. Of awful. Wild.

In conclusion.

Having short hair. While a girl. Doesn’t make her a butch queen. Who is absolved of all responsibility for that murder she committed. It just makes her a girl with short hair. That did a murder. I’m gonna. Kill someone. Too. And if I chop my hair off. I guess I can get away with it.

[transmedicalism-saves-lives]

I am pretty sure I was blocked by the OP of this post, so. 

tervenwitch

the brain sex theory is inherently misogynistic and was debunked years ago. Try reading Cordelia Fine for a change instead on blindly clinging to the delusions of misogynists

@tervenwitch You mean the feminist philosopher? Why would I get any information on neurology from her, she’s not a neurologist? Studying the philosophy of science does not equate to studying science itself.

Also, we’re a sexually dimorphic species. Down to a cellular level, our organs are different between males and females. As a transsexual I am extremely aware of the female-ness of my body, it’s in my vocal chords, my fat distribution, and the size and thickness of many body parts. Why is acknowledging that one of the things that’s bigger in males is the brain stem “misogyny”? Brain sex isn’t about how smart you are, or whether you’re naturally emotional, or anything of the sort- it’s just about the physical differences between the physical organs, and there are several of those. I’ve compiled a list of sources for this claim, and if you’d like to read what actual neuroscientists, not philosophers, have to say on the topic of brain sex, feel free to give it a look.  

realwomenarewomen said: @transmedicalism-saves-lives Firstly its not possibly to be “neurologically a woman” because there is literally no such thing as a “female brain”. Brains are not gendered. The only human organs that are gender are sexual reproductive organs. The idea of “lady and gentlemen brains” is antiquated Neurosexism akin to eugenics or phrenology. So just stop that nonsense.

I can’t tag her, unfortunately, so apologies for that. I’m not sure you understand that, as stated above, we are a sexually dimorphic species. Voices, for example, aren’t at all related to the reproductive system and yet, in males, vocal chords are thicker than in females. Most organs have a differentiation between sexes. Now, maybe when you think “brain” you think “intellect,” but that’s only a small part of what brains do, how they function. The brain is a physical organ, and there are many small differences between male and female brains. It’s been shown, in transsexuals, that our brains are the same as those of the opposite sex. Here’s my list of vetted sources again. 

realwomenarewomen said: @transmedicalism-saves-lives Women’s historic and continued subordination has not arisen because some members of our species choose to identify with an inferior social role (and it would be an act of egregious victim-blaming to suggest that it has). It has emerged as a means by which males can dominate that half of the species that is capable of gestating children, and exploit their sexual and reproductive labour. This is why Title IX protections exist.

No, it’s got a lot to do with the fact that testosterone makes you a lot more physically strong and in less advanced societies that matters quite a bit. However, in the current first world countries, women are absolutely not oppressed. Women graduate every level of education at higher rates than men, are imprisoned far less frequently for the same crimes, are more likely to be hired, and have every legal right that a man has, plus a few that men don’t have, such as the right to refuse genital mutilation, and human rights that are not contingent on signing up for the selective service. As a matter of fact, most Title IX violations this year have been all-female groups that don’t allow men in. Ohio State was sued this year for discriminating against men, and Title IX was the reason. 

realwomenarewomen said: @transmedicalism-saves-lives The term “terf” is a manipulation intended to reframe feminist ideas and activism as “exclusionary”, rather than foundational to the woman’s liberation movement. In other words it as an attack on women centered political organizing and the basic theory that underpins feminist analysis of patriarchy.

What “feminist ideas,” exactly? Because first off, y’all never actually proved patriarchy theory, so if we’re going after antiquated theories here... 

But I digress. What exactly would you call yourself? You have an entire blog dedicated to the exclusion of a small minority of people. You seem obsessed with trans people, and our exclusion from your group (well, at least, trans womens, I’m not sure your thoughts on me, but it’d be a bit funny if it was only the straight guy you found to be acceptable, all things considered). Why do you put so much time and effort into excluding trans women, and then get upset when people point that out? It’s ridiculous to me. 

realwomenarewomen said: @transmedicalism-saves-lives ‘Cis’ is a term that has been hijacked from the field of chemistry. It basically refers to isomers of the same molecule on the same side of a plane. This term was never meant to be used to erase the differences between biological women and biological men who want to be biological women, whether from a dysphoria or anything else.

No, it hasn’t been hijacked. It’s a prefix. It’s Latin for “this side of,” and the opposite of the prefix “trans,” which means “across” in Latin. “Transsexual” means “crossing sexes,” whereas “cissexual” means “remaining on the same side of sex.” It’s not altogether that deep. 

Also, believe me, we’re aware of the differences. We wouldn’t go through all the trouble of getting surgery and taking hormones for the rest of our lives if we weren’t very much aware of the differences. However, those differences can be altered to a pretty dramatic effect, and ignoring that seems dishonest at best. I highly doubt you’d look at me, for example, and think “woman,” and I haven’t lived socially as a woman for years. There’s also the fact that my brain is physically male, but we’ve already covered that... 

realwomenarewomen said: @transmedicalism-saves-lives No one – women, men, children, or transgendered persons – should be subjected to any form of exploitation or targeted for discrimination. Transsexual and transgendered persons are entitled to the same human and civil rights as others.

Thanks, I agree. Everyone should have human and civil rights, no matter what, and I believe everyone should be as kind as possible to everyone else. That includes you. 

realwomenarewomen said: @transmedicalism-saves-lives Recognizing these rights, however, does not mean that we must accept that hormones and surgery transform men into women and women into men; or that persons who self-identify as members of the opposite sex are what they subjectively claim to be. So stop suicide baiting.

Where did I suicide bait? I’m sorry if that seemed to be apparent in anything I said, but I’m very much against any kind of suicide or self-harm. If you’re feeling suicidal, I’d recommend calling a mental health hotline: 1-800-273-8255 is the number for the American National Suicide Hotline. 

That said, HRT and surgery aren’t completely perfect, but they can get us pretty far- by the end of transition, I’ll be closer to biologically male than biologically female, for example. Not entirely biologically male- I’m still going to have a lot of sexual difficulties, and to have biological children will require an invasive surgery involving bone marrow- but closer. 

realwomenarewomen said: @transmedicalism-saves-lives “Cis” implies that women—lesbians, call center workers, single mothers—have an inherent privilege over trans people. Again, let’s not forget that trans is an umbrella term. A gender non conforming male is not more ‘oppressed’ than a lesbian. The cis/trans dichotomy obscures that and allows men to shout ‘oppressor’ at women. Sex change is impossible and unnecessary. Stop using trans activism to perpetuate your misogynistic internalized homophobia.

I don’t believe any group has an inherent privilege over any other group. Being a member of certain groups might change your probabilities of experiencing specific forms of oppression, but no group is entirely full of oppressed people, and no group has no oppressed members- except, perhaps, the billionaire class. When it comes down to it, privilege is based in money, and there are people of every race, sex, sexuality, and religion living in poverty, and people of every race, sex, sexuality, and religion in the ruling class too. The percentages, however, are a bit different.

So no, being trans doesn’t make someone oppressed, and being cis doesn’t make someone not oppressed. However, being trans does increase chances of oppression, particularly being a trans woman, as they’ve almost all been forced into sex work up until the late eighties to early nineties, which is closely associated with poverty and low quality of life in countries where it’s not regulated legally, such as America. 

And for the record- transsexual is not an “umbrella term.” Don’t lump us in with drag queens or GNC people in general. Trans means someone suffering from gender dysphoria, nothing else. 

Sex change is not impossible, and it’s absolutely necessary for trans people to have any quality of life at all. We have a serious neurological disease. We cannot physically change our brains yet. I’d love to be able to be a normal female woman, that would be a great thing for me, it’d be a lot easier than this, and to be honest, I made a damn pretty girl, life is very easy for pretty girls. Unfortunately, my chest tissue makes me so dysphoric that I’ve taken a knife to it multiple times, can’t concentrate if I don’t bind, and as for my genitalia, well, let’s just say that I really wish that was in a better order because being a teenager with a sex drive and dysphoria is extremely, unendingly frustrating. 

As for internalized homophobia on my part- I genuinely thought I was bisexual until I started taking HRT. I didn’t even know I only liked women before. Maybe I didn’t. Who knows? But yeah, if you actually believe I’m a lesbian, or that I’ll be a lesbian next year... well. Have fun with that. 

Have a nice day!