#my last day of class is ok Tuesday:( i think i might cry in front of everyone

[outstanding-quotes]

Mikko Harvey, “For M”

[hateswifi]

Making Do (With What Life Gave Us): Part 3

I really hope you are enjoying this semi-short series. There’s one part left, leave asks. I enjoy writing what you guys want.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seven hours later she landed and was met by Bruce. When she saw him, she ran over and hugged him. "Dad! I missed you so much!"

"Princess I missed you too! The boys are at the house, they were told to be on their best behaviors. All they know is that someone important is coming to dinner," Bruce said, picking up Marinette's suitcase.

"Thank you, Dad! I'm so happy I get to surprise them," she said, climbing into the front seat with Bruce. After a quick car ride, they pull up to the Wayne Manor, no doubt Alfred was lining up the boys in the foyer. When she enters the house, the boys have their eyes to the ground as a sign of respect.

"Welcome home Master Bruce, Miss Marinette," Alfred said with a smirk.

"Marinette!" Dick said, charging the poor girl. He picks up the girl and spins her in a hug.

"Move Grayson," Damian says as Dick puts her down.

"But it's my turn," Dick answers.

"My turn," Damian says, pushing Dick out of the way. He brought her into a hug. "I missed you so much, but I knew you were coming."

"Seriously?! I missed you though. I didn't want to leave," Marinette said, crying into his shoulder. It had only been a couple of months but he had grown so much.

"Oh come stop hogging her," Jason says, attempting to push Damian out of the way.

"Dami, let me hug Jay-Jay and Tim," Marinette said, wiping her eyes. Damian lets her go and wipes her tears away. She hugs Jason and Tim. She then unpacks and eats dinner. She sits next to Damian and holds his hand under the table because he was eating left-handed. 

"I learned a lot of vegetarian dishes while in Paris and since Sabine and Tom live above a bakery I've become better at baking," Marinette smiled, looking at Damian.

"Can we try it as well, I've missed your cooking," Tim asked.

"Yes! The more the merrier! I'm excited I may only be here for a couple of days, but we'll make the most of it," Marinette said. "Jason, you want to spare after dinner?"

"Sure, can't wait to kick your butt," Jason snickers. 

"Wait... I wanted to go on the bars with you..." Dick says then smiles. "Can we do it tomorrow?"

"Sure that would be so much fun! Tim, do you think I can go to work with you on Tuesday? I would love to learn more about business. Chloe and I are planning a winter social and I want to start my own boutique after I graduate," Marinette explained.

"You still have four years till you're eighteen. But I'm sure Tim and definitely Damian would love for you to come to work," Bruce stated with a smile.

"I know Dad, but I think I might start a commission website once I get more free time," Marinette said smiling.

"That's fantastic let me know when you do," Bruce said.

"Jason you ready to fight," Marinette asks, taking her plate to the kitchen.

"Cool, let's go," Jason said, following her with his plate. They then walked to the gym the rest of the boys following. "You ready?"

"Sí, ¿estás listo?" Marinette said, taking off her shoes and getting into positions. 

"Of course I'm ready, that's why I asked you, ya know what. Tres... Dos... Unos," Jason said before launching into his attack. The fight lasts a bit before Jason gets the upper hand and pins her down with her arm behind her back.

"I guess I'm a little rusty," Marinette says, taking the hand Damian was offering. She got up and brushed off the dust. Damian put an arm around her waist, she snuggled into his grasp and yawns. "I'm a bit tired, I'm going to head to bed. Night love you all." 

A collective 'Night' comes as she closes the door. As her footsteps fade, Jason turns and smirks. "So what was that about?"

"What was what about?" Damian asked, sliding down against the wall to sit on the ground.

"Do you really think I didn't notice you guys holding hands under the table?" Tim asked, shaking his head.

"And that you helped her up and pulled her into a hug," Dick said.

"And you didn't flinch when she snuggled into your embrace," Jason finished.

"Do you have a crush on her, Demon?" Tim asked.

"I will end you," he says adding a dramatic pause. "She is just a friend."

"Sure...." Dick said. leaving the gym with Tim and Jason following. Damian grumbles while standing then proceeds to punch and beat up the punching bag. 'He didn't like her like that., right? No.... she's his best friend, she would never see him like that.' With that thought and one final punch, the punching bag fell. 'Then why am I acting like this.'

All too soon, Marinette headed back to Paris. Bruce accompanied her back home on his private jet. "Bye, you guys! I hope I see you soon," Marinette said, hugging her family. 

"Princess, it's time to go," Bruce said, climbing the stairs to the plane.

"Ok, Dad, love you all!" Marinette said, waving as the door closed. 

Alfred leads the boys back to the car, as Jason grumbles, "how come Bruce gets to go with Pixie-Pop."

"Master Bruce is doing business in Paris," Alfred said, closing the door to the front seat.

"What business?" Tim asks, looking up from his phone.

"He's opening a Wayne Enterprises building in Paris," Alfred said, starting the car.

"Seriously?" Damian asked, sitting up straighter.

"Wow... calm down lover boy," Dick laughs.

"We know you wanna see your girlfriend, but opening a building takes time," Tim teased.

"She's not my girlfriend," Damian grumbles.

"But.... you wish she was," Jason says, elbowing Damian.

"She is my best friend... I will snap your knee caps if you say differently," Damian says, putting in earphones.

Back on the plane with Marinette, she sat quietly sketching in her new notebook. After the seven-hour flight, Marinette jumped off the plane with Bruce following to greet Sabine, Tom, and Chloe. "Hey Sabine, Tom," she said, hugging her adopted parents.

"Hi, sweetie," Sabine greets.

"Hi, Chloe! I have so much to tell you about, but first, Sabine, Tom, Chloe, this is my unofficial Dad, Bruce," Marinette said.

"Nice to meet you all, Marinette speaks highly of all of you," Bruce greets.

"Wait, I thought Sabine and Tom are your parents?" Chloe asked.

"Well, Dad how long are you going to be around for because that depends when I explain it," Marinette asked.

"I'm going to be here until building plans are final," Bruce answers.

"Building plans?" Marinette asks.

"I'll explain it when you explain everything else," Bruce responds.

"Mama, Papa, can they come to dinner?" Marinette asked, grabbing Sabine's hand.

"Of course," Tom responded.

"Everything is vegetarian. We love supporting our daughter," Sabine added.

"Of course, I'm the same way with Damian," Bruce said. “Of course, it would be rude as an unannounced guest to make you change your plans."

"Daddy has been supporting my decisions to eat less meat," Chloe smiles.

"And I don't expect you to change because we're friends. As friends, we take each other as we are," Marinette smiles while jumping in the car. As they sat at the dinner table Marinette decided to explain everything. "I grew up without my father, my mother was a junkie and a 'dancer'. Needless to say my life wasn't the best, one day, I guess Mum didn't pay for her drugs and made some high up people angry. She passed on. Later the next day, Bruce showed up with Alfred, the man who is like my grandfather, at the police station. He decided, with the help of Jason, Tim, and Dick, to be my foster home. Two years later, Damian, who is now my best friend and Bruce's only biological son, moved in. Another two years later, Tom and Sabine adopted me. I guess that caught everyone up?" Marinette explained. "So, Dad, what's this about a building."

"After you got adopted, I decided to open a Wayne Enterprises in Paris," Bruce said.

"Wait seriously? You guys will be spending more time in Paris?" Marinette asked, standing up quickly, her chair squeaking. "Thank you, Dad!"

"Yes but as you know we will still have to spend most of our time in Gotham," Bruce said.

"I know Dad, the Rogues like to attack the building a lot so you have to stay there to keep it running," Marinette sighed.

"Exactly, well goodnight Princess, I'm going to check into the hotel. I'll stop by here on the way to the airport to say goodbye," Bruce said, standing while he moved to grab his bag.

"My driver is here," Chloe said, taking her plate to the kitchen. "Bye Tom, Sabine. See you at school on Monday, Marinette."

The year ended, and her family came and visited over the summer. At the beginning of the new year, and as she was running late, she saved an elder man, who was attempting to cross the streets. She saved him and didn't drop the macaroons her papa made for her and the class. She bowed to the man, out of respect, and ran into class to see Chloe not sitting in her normal seat in the second row. Marinette shrugs and moves to sit next to her friend, before Ms. Bustier stopped her with a smile.

"This year there will be assigned seats, someone felt left out last year so we're trying to make it a bit fairer," Ms. Bustier explained.

"It's because... Sabrine complained that I got more than one friend," Chloe grumbled, crossing her arms.

"The person wished to remain anonymous," Ms. Bustier scolded. "Now that this is sorted, please take your seat beside Alya, the new girl in glasses."

"Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous," Chloe complained, glaring at the teacher.

"No it's only fair, we want to set a good example of how," Ms. Bustier paused, being interrupted by Ivan screaming. "Ivan! to the Office now!' Marinette shook her head, frowned, and took a seat next to the glasses-wearing girl. 

The new girl leaned over and asked shocked. "You're actually friends with her? She seems like a brat, I think you need new friends."

"New friends are always welcome. Don't worry I thought the same when I first met her, but now I know that she is pretty awesome," Marinette said, taking out a notebook from her backpack along with her sketchbook.

"She seems to be mean though," the girl, Alya, said, skeptically. 

"Well... give her a chance to change your mind. I'm Marinette by the way. It's nice to meet you," Marinette said, smiling. "I'm the previous co-class-representative." Alya was about to say something before being cut off by something, a rock being, burst through the door and wall. The monster took Mylene and Chloe before bashing through the window and wall. Alya stood up abruptly and rushed through the classroom wall towards the rock man.

"Where are you going?" Marinette shouted after the crazy girl.

"Where monsters are, heroes follow," She called over her shoulder. Marinette ran and jumped out the hole in the wall and chased to where she had seen Chloe. 

Something was off-balance in her bag, she stopped and opened it to see a black oxygon box. She was suspicious of the box she skirted to the nearest alleyway. Not feeling anything too suspicious, she opened it. A glow formed and a sprite, fairy thing appeared in front of her. "Woah... that's so cool," Marinette cooed, holding out her hand for the thing to land on it.

"Hi! I'm Tikki, the goddess of creation and your kwami. Paris needs your help, you need to defeat the akumatizaed person," the thing, Tikki, said.

"So you're a kwami, but what's an akuma? How can I help?" Marinette asked.

"You're going to be the owner of the ladybug miraculous. You're going to be a hero!" Tikki exclaimed.

"Again you mean... I used to be a hero. Oh, man! I can't wait to rub this in Jason's face. He's salty that he doesn't have his own city to protect," Marinette said excitedly jumping. After a moment she paused and looked at the floating kwami. "I am by myself, right?"

"You'll have a partner, the owner of the black cat miraculous," Tikki explained while grabbing the earring to hand to Marinette. "You have to find the akumatized item, usually something that looks out of place, then you break the item and catch the butterfly. To help you defeat the akuma you need to use your power, lucky charm. After the butterfly is caught, you need to use Miraculous Ladybug to repair any damages. When you're ready to transform, you'll have to say, Tikki, Spots on."

"Ok... ok cool. I can do this, just like being Ladybird, but with enhancements?" Marinette asked, putting the earrings in. Tikki nods before Marinette shouts. "Tikki! Spots on!" She looks down at herself to see a similar design to her Ladybird costume. Her costume had a black armored torso, the collar was black, and gloves up to her elbow were dark red along with knee-high boots. The rest was a regular ladybug's pattern. She threw her yo-yo onto a nearby roof and pulled the string she flew across the sky and landed on a roof. She stood, smiling. while looking over Paris, that was until she got knocked over by, who she suspects, is her partner. He stands up and holds out his hand to help her stand.

"Sorry, I'm not used to- poling?- traveling across Paris on rooftops," her partner says, brushing himself before dropping into a bow. 

"I'm Ladybug, I'm guessing you're my partner," Ladybug says, looking towards the tower. She starts spinning her yo-yo looking to throw it.

"I'm Chat Noir. Wait... how are you good at doing this, umm yo-yoing?" Chat asks, looking in disbelief.

"It's like a grappling hook, which I'm used to, and that's not too important right now. I'll explain later, we have an akuma to defeat," she says, throwing her yo-yo towards the tower, Chat following close after. They both land down on the street across from the tower. (A/N: So..... since Marinette used to be a hero she didn't mess up, Ivan also has the power to turn people into the rock beings. Enjoy my dudes)

"Give me back my daughter!" the mayor screamed into the megaphone.

"You want the brat back? Fine take her," Stone Heart shouted before tossing her.

"No! No! No! I'm too young to die..." She shrieked, flailing her arms. Ladybug breathed before sliding to catch her. "Marinette...?"

"I'll explain later," she said, quietly before putting her down.

Ivan threw up purple butterflies and a face appears as Ivans falls. "Citizens of Paris, I am Hawkmoth. I will stop this after the owners of the black cat and ladybug miraculous give up and give me their miraculous. Nothing further will happen," the butterfly miraculous owner, Hawkmoth, monologued. 

Ladybug smirks before jumping up on to the platform, she grabs all the butterflies in her yo-yo. "I will whip your sorry--- I mean... I, personally, promise to destroy your hopes and dreams, you creepy old man," Ladybug threatened,  putting her hands on her hips. "You will regret the day your parents made the mistake of having you."

"OOOOF! Kill em!" Chat said, clapping. Ladybird smirks, before catching all the butterflies. Stone Heart and his minions get up and attempt to take the miraculous by force. After their failed attempt, Ladybug caught the last butterfly. She then released all the butterflies, including the ones that made up Hawkmoth's face. she used miraculous ladybug as the white butterflies flutter away.

They went their separate ways and Marinette landed back at her house in her room and waited for Chloe to stop by so Marinette can explain everything so far. 

"Marinette... I need to eat so I can be ready for the next Akuma attack," Tikki said, landing on Marinette's head.

"Ummmm... ok what do you need to eat?" Marinette asked.

"Cookies! Have you ever heard of them," Tikki asks?

"Of course I have... I live above a bakery," Marinette said, walking down the stairs. She collects some cookies from the cookie jar and looks for Tikki to give her the cookie. as her mom walks in.

"Hi honey, I'm so glad that you're ok... that was crazy," Sabine said.

"Ya! I can't believe it! I get to live in a city with heroes again, I can't wait to see what happens," Marinette exclaims kissing her mother's cheek before running upstairs. Not too long after a blonde head popped up through her hatch. "Hey Chloe, how y doing?" 

"How. How am I doing!? Seriously! I get thrown off the Eiffel Tower and you're a superhero and that's all you can say?!” Chloe yells, falling on her chaise.

"Seriously keep it down... they don't know," Marinette says.

"But you look exactly the same," Chloe said, sitting up.

"Magic protect her," Tikki explained, flying out of her hiding place.

"Wha-- THe aCtuaL hEcK!" She screamed climbing on top of the chaise.

A muffled "Are you girls ok up there?" came from Sabine downstairs.

"We're fine Mama, we are watching a Youtuber who wants to be a chair, don't worry about," Marinette screamed back. "This is my kwami Tikki. She helps me become Ladybug."

"So you have a flying bug that makes you become a superhero. How long have you been a hero?" Chloe said.

"Since I was ten but as Ladybug only one day, I started today," Marinette explained. Chloe raised an eyebrow as she continued. "I haven't been able to tell you because of my dad's rules. But since you figured it out I don't think he will care too much."

"Wait, who were you?" Chloe asks.

"I was Ladybird with my family. We are the best and I can't wait to rub it in my brothers' faces," Marinette snickers, picking up her phone. "Do you mind if I make a call real quick."

"Of course not I have to be getting home soon," Chloe said, standing up. They hug before Chloe leaves. She picks up her phone and dials her brothers."Hey guys!"

"Seriously! There are villains there!" Jason screams.

"Yes there is a villain, there are also too new heroes," Marinette said. "Wait, how'd you know?"

"We keep tabs on Paris and get notified as soon as something big happens," Tim explains coming into frame.

"One of them looks suspiciously like you," Damina's voice came from out of frame.

"She had some similar moves to what I taught you,"  Dick says, pushing Jason out of frame.

"I'm also pretty sure that shares the same grappling skills as you," Damian said, stepping into frame.

"Well if you had let me talk, I would have told you I am Ladybug the hero of Paris," Marinette said, crossing her arms, pouting. "And you guys ruined it by figuring it out."

"You were quite obvious though," Damian said.

"You get to take care of your own city, HOW is that even fair," Jason complains, pushing Damian so he could be seen.

"Actually I have a partner, as you would have seen in the articles, Chat Noir," Marinette smiles.

"If he fails to protect you or hurts you in any way, I will make his death slow and very painful," Damian said.

"Don't worry about it from our short interaction and fight he could use some training but he's nice," Marinette explained.

"I gotta go," Damian said. He said before rushing off.

"Um... bye Dami, so how have you guys been," Marinette asked and the conversation flowed until she was called for dinner. The boys waved goodbye as she hung up only after she promised to keep them updated. Jason smirks and goes to find Damian.

"So... why'd you storm off?" Jason asks leaning on the gym wall the sound of Damian hitting the punching bag filling the gym.

"What do you mean?" he asks between punches.

"You stormed off after Marinette brought up her nice, blonde, skintight leather suit wearing partner," Jason smirks, the punching comes faster the sounds getting louder.

"It has nothing to do with that.... that wretch," Damian said.

"So when are you gonna admit that you like her," Jadon asks, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I won't," He pauses, standing up straight and grabs a towel. "because she's just a friend."

"Be careful," Jason says, pushing off the wall. He walks towards the door, opens it, and looks over his shoulder while saying. "or you will lose, it may not be today or tomorrow but you will lose her." As the door closes Jason hears the punching bag being hit again. Jason snickers and heads to the Bat Cave to look up Chat Noir.

The next day at school Marinette rushed into the courtyard to see Chloe. She hugged Chloe after they finished Marinette turned around as she heard a scream. A blonde bow holding a steaming cup of coffee tripped and fell, the coffee spilled all over the front of her. "Marinette, are you ok?" Chloe exclaimed.

"I'm so sorry!" the blonde screamed.

"Adrien! You're already causing trouble, just come home," a voice screamed after the blonde.

"Adrien! You made it! Come on let's go," Chloe said, grabbing Adrien and Marinette's hand. "I'm going to take her to the bathroom. go to the locker room find my locker, its number 286, and grab the spare clothes," 

"Ummm... ok, I'm sorry again. I'll be right back," he says before rushing off.

"That's your blonde friend you're always talking about," Marinette said as they entered the bathroom.

"Ya, you guys will be great friends," Chloe said, looking in the mirror as Marinette entered the stall.

"First great impression, being burned and all. It's going to be great because it looks like he's clumsier than me," Marinette said, throwing the soiled shirt on top of the stall door. A knock echoed throughout the bathroom. "Umm Chloe, I got the clothes."

"Hold on," She says opening the door and instructs while taking the clothes. "Stay there we'll be out before class." Chloe handed Marinette the clothes. It was I white tank halter top, paired with a high waisted light blue that matched Chloe's icy blue eyes, along with black heels.

"You ready to go?" Marinette asks exiting the stall.

"Nope, not yet. You can't wear that outfit with your hair in pigtails, I'm sorry it just can be done," Chloe said, stealing her hair ties.

"Chloe!" Marinette said, looking into the mirror then smirked. "I look good. Ok, let's go. We don't want to be late."

Another knock came from as they were about to leave. "Guys the bell is going to ring soon." He finishes as they push the door open. "Uhhhhh... hi... hi I'm Adrien," he stutters out as they enter the locker room.

"HI I'm Marin--" Marinette started as the bell rung interrupted her. She grabbed both the blonde's hands and ran to close pulling them both close behind. "Sorry, Ms. Bustier that we're late... um.... we were showing the new student around."

"Yes?" Chloe agreed sitting down beside Sabrina in the front.

"Adrien, sit in front of Marinette," Ms. Bustier says, pointing to the empty seat next to Nino. As he sat down the Nino introduced himself. "Hey, I'm Nino your new seat partner." Then held out a fist.

"Cool, I'm Adrien, I'm super psyched to start school, ya know being homeschooled all my life," Adrien said, bumping Nino's out held fist.

"Everyone is pretty chill here, you'll make friends fast," Nino said. 

"I know, I'm already friends with Chloe and Mar-Marinette," he stutters out.

"Marinette is a great person," Nino smiles. "Chloe, she is a lot better than she use to be."

"She has, I'm pretty sure that it's because of Ma-Marinette," Adrien said with a smile. The class continued without a hitch and soon came lunch. "Hey Chloe, what are you doing for lunch?"

"Well I usually go over to Marinette's house for lunch," Chloe explained, looking back at the class, waiting for Marinette to emerge from the classroom. She had been asked to stay after class for a minute.

"Hey, guys," Marinette greets. "I'm Marinette, it's nice to finally meet you," 

"Ma-Marinette, hi," Adrien said.

"So you want to come to lunch with us?" Marinette asks, walking towards the stairs.

"That would be awesome!" Adrien said, following behind.

"So that woman this morning, is she your mother?" Marinette asks.

"No... um, my mother is gone," Adrien faltered.

"Oh... I'm sorry I didn't realize," Marinette sympathizes. "So this is my house. Mama! Papa! I'm home! I brought Chloe and Adrien."

"Hi honey, how was your day? What happened to your clothes?" Sabine asks, coming from the back.

"Adrien tripped and spilled his coffee onto me," Marinette explained, hugging Sabine.

"Lunch is upstairs," Sabine says. "Tom is upstairs as well and needs opinions on a new recipe."

"Your parents are bakers, can they adopt me?" Adrien asks his mouth agape.

"You're not allowed to eat sweets?" Marinette asks, opening the door and dropping her bag.

"Wait... you don't know who I/he am/is?" Chloe and Adrien exclaim at the same time.

"Am I suppose? All I know is that you're Chloe's childhood friend," Marinette explains, grabbing plates from the cabinet.

"So much for a future fashion designer," Chloe sighs, grabbing utensils.

"What do you mean?" Marinette asks, placing a place on the table. "Papa! Lunch!"

"Coming Mari," he shouts back.

"I'm a model," Adrien explains, taking a seat.

"Your point is, I don't pay too much attention to the models, just the clothes," Marinette explains, pulling the cheddar broccoli crepes out of the fridge.

"But I'm Adrien Agreste, son of Gabriel Agreste. Surely you've heard of me," Adrien asks, fidgeting.

"Of course I've heard the name, I'm just not too good at putting names to faces," Marinette says serving the food.

"Hi sweetie, Chloe. Who's your friend?" Tom asks, grabbing cups from the cabinet and the pitcher of water from the fridge.

"This is Adrien, he's new to the school," Marinette explains, pouring the water.

"Marinette, Bruce called a bit earlier, he's asking about you coming back for Thanksgiving again," Tom said, slicing his food.

"Already? It's only September? But I can't wait to go home again, I miss them," Marinette says, smiling.

"You saw last month," Chloe deadpans.

"And am I not allowed to miss them?" Marinette asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Miss who?" Adrien asks, taking a bite.

"Not important at the moment," Marinette answers, quickly as her phone begins to ring and she smiles. "Speak of the Demon. Sorry guys gotta take this back in a minute." She then walks across the living room before switching to English. "Hi, Dami."

"Father told me that he talked to Tom about you coming home for Thanksgiving," Damian states.

"Yes, and as I just told Tom, I would love to come home for the holidays. I miss you guys, ya know?" Marinette says, placing her free hand on her elbow.

"We miss you too, why do you think Father opened the Wayne Enterprises there?" Damian asks. 

"You guys love me as much as I love you," Marinette smiles.

"Ummm Marinette! We're going to be getting back to school," Adrien shouts before Damian could respond.

"Who's that?" Damian asks his voice sounding tenser than normal. 

"Oh that's my new friend Adrien," Marinette responds before looking at the clock. "Well, can you call me after your school ends?"

"I would love to talk more," Damian said. 

"Damian! Time to leave, you can call Pixie-Pop later," Jason's voice came.

"Tell them I said hi and that I miss them," Marinette said. "Love you Dami, Bye." She finishes and heads back to the table. Her father was handing out mint and dark chocolate macaroons. "Papa, Sab-- Mama said you were making a new recipe, haven't you made these before?"

"Yes and no, they're the same flavors, but the cookies are mint this time instead of dark chocolate," Tom explains as Marinette takes one.

"The flavors are a lot more even. Bye Papa, see you after school," she waves with Adrien and Chloe following her.

"Sooooo, how was Demon?" Chloe snickers.

"He's happy, well as happy as he can be, that I'm coming home next month," Marinette explains.

"Who is 'Demon'?" Adrien asks as the walk up the stairs.

"Her boyfriend," Chloe teases, elbowing Marinette in the ribs.

"He's not my boyfriend, he's just a friend," Marinette denies. "Well he is my best friend, yes Chloe is on the same level though, and he's my food friend."

"Where does he live?" Adrien asks. They're now back in the classroom and he's turned to face her. (In this world Chloe sits on the inside/left seat/ the one on the aisle.)

"He lives in Gotham, shhh class is starting," Marinette says, quickly. She's thankful that conversation is over. She just met Adrien and she doesn't need him to know everything.

-------------------------------------

Tag list:

@northernbluetongue @chocolatecatstheron @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @gwennex @abrx2002 @sonif50 @silvergold-swirl @sturchling @rosep16 @toodaloo-kangaroo @captainmac6 @crazylittlemunchkin @tired-butterfly @emo-elaine13 @book-lover-2006

[eddiesasspbrak]

When I’m With You Ch. 16

Eddie can’t stand the barista at his favorite coffee shop. Richie has fallen in love with the man he sees twice a week. Stan is dating someone but won’t let his friends meet them. Ben is in love with Beverly, but is so afraid of scaring her away he’s not moving forward. Chaotic friends navigating college together.

Ch. 1

Read on AO3

2k+ words

By Monday, Eddie’s ankle was starting to feel a lot better. He was no longer using the crutches and gave Bev her office chair back. When cooking with Richie, he mostly did things he could sit down to do. Like cutting up onions or peeling potatoes. For some reason, watching Richie cook was becoming a turn on for him. They still occasionally ordered in of course, but Eddie was saving a lot of money grocery shopping instead of eating out for every meal.

On Tuesday, Bev still came to pick him up as no one thought he should be walking that far yet. The snow and ice were nearly completely gone already as spring started to stake its claim. He likely wouldn’t slip again, but it was better to be careful with his mother’s impending visit creeping closer with each passing day. Eddie found that sitting on Richie’s lap, his fingers in his hair and the rhythmic breathing beneath his ear but enough to keep him calm when he got anxious about it. Not being with Richie during her visit was going to be next to impossible. He wondered if he could sneak out and spend at least a few minutes with him without her knowing.

Wednesday morning, Ben sent an Uber to pick Eddie up still not wanting the charges to show up on his card. Especially since she’d reminded him that she kept track on Saturday. Eddie made sure to call her every afternoon just for a few minutes. She’d ask what his schedule was like for the day and he’d tell her but would make things up to fill the entire day. He had a suspicion that she would try to show up early if she thought he had any free time. As long as he was in the brace and limping, she couldn’t come. Every day he was getting better and barely limped anymore, but she would notice even a slight change.

He’d called her that morning since he had his weekly plan of getting lunch with Stan before class. She wasn’t thrilled that he was going to meet with Stan, but he ignored it. He loved Stan more than he loved her and wouldn’t let her interfere with his friendship if he could. Stan and Ben had stood the trials of Sonia Kaspbrak many times over the years and always stuck around anyway. Eddie wouldn’t get rid of them no matter how hard she tried to make him. He just hoped his new friends and Richie would be the same.

Stan was already there when Eddie arrived. He’d texted and asked Eddie what he wanted and had already picked up his meal for him. Sometimes they took turns treating one another, so this was nothing out of the ordinary. He thanked him and greeted him in the same breath as he sat across from him with a loud sigh.

“Rough morning?” Stan asked, blowing on forkful of food.

“Rough week more like. Every day we get closer to Sunday and I get closer to a mental breakdown.”

“Oh, come on, she’s visited before and you’ve survived.”

“Yea but I didn’t have a boyfriend in the past and I wasn’t injured. I just have this feeling she’s going to know about both things the second she arrives. Next thing I know, she’ll be dragging me back home against my will.”

“That’s kidnapping.”

“She’s my mother.”

“And you’re an adult. We won’t let her take you if she tries. We’ll all chain ourselves to you and you know it. Take turns hiding you in dorms and apartments until she gives up.”

Eddie let out a little laugh, blowing air out of his nose. “She’ll call the police.”

“Good. She’s the one trying to kidnap you. They’ll arrest her.”

“You’ve gotten surprisingly optimistic since you met your boys.” Eddie said, pointing his fork toward Stan.

It was true. Stan had anxiety just as bad as Eddie and suffered with worse OCD than him. Everything had to be just so, or he’d hyperventilate. With his anxiety, he always worried about everything that could go wrong and was scared very easily. One time when they were young, Eddie’s mom had taken him on a trip and refused to tell him when they would return. Stan was convinced that she was moving him away and they’d never see him again. He had daily panic attacks until Eddie finally returned. This wasn’t like Stan at all.

“I’m just...happy. And I know you’re happy. We’ve got good friends who like each other. We all are in relationships that are good for us. We all deserve to be happy and carefree right now as much as possible. So, yea, I’m optimistic as fuck.”

Eddie smiled and for the moment felt content and without worry. Stan was right. Things were good and his mom visiting couldn’t change that, right? He would still worry until her visit was over, but with the support of his friends and boyfriend, he could believe that everything would be ok.

*

After class, Eddie met up with Bev. She had some shopping to do and invited Eddie to join her. They hadn’t hung out just the two of them since she started seeing Ben and he started seeing Richie. It was long overdue, and he missed spending time with her.

She picked him up on campus, turning her thumping music down as he got into the car. “Hello my dear Edward. It’s strange seeing you without a Richie glued to your side.”

“I could say the same about Ben.”

“Touché. We do have some irresistible boys in our lives now, don’t we?”

“I’d say so.” Eddie settled back into his seat as she drove off of campus and onto the busy streets. “Where are we headed?”

“I thought maybe we could head to the mall. I’m out of soap and I like the stuff at Bath and Bodyworks.”

“Fine by me. Their stuff smells good but if my mom found any of their stuff in my apartment, she’d lecture me about my skill being sensitive to scented things. It’s unscented soap and lotion for me!”

“Gross. Hey, you can always stash stuff at my place while she’s here if you need.”

“Can I stash Richie there?”

“Embarrassed of your boyfriend already?”

“No, I’m just worried about what she’ll think of him. I think she’ll hate him and that will eventually make telling her we’re dating even harder. The longer I put off their meeting, the better it’ll be. For all of us.”

“Your mom sounds like a real treat.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“What do you think she’ll think of me?” She placed a hand under her chin and batted her eyelashes at Eddie.

“Well, she hates Ben, so she’ll think you have bad taste for sure.”

“How does she hate Ben?! He’s like the sweetest most respectful guy I know. The first time he touched my boob I thought his head was going to explode. He still asks for permission every time he feels me up.”

“Didn’t need to know that. She hates all of my friends, though. Doesn’t matter how amazing they are. She sees them as a threat, someone I’ll choose over her.”

“Would you? Choose any of us over her I mean.”

“In a heartbeat. All of you. I know she loves me in some twisted way but that’s not what really love is. You guys taking care of me over the last two weeks is what love is supposed to be. There’s nothing wrong with worrying about the people you care about but she’s just controlling.”

“Dude, you’re going to make me cry.” Bev sniffed.

Eddie reached out and took her hand. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t know how happy I could be.”

“Ditto.”

They sat in silent for a moment, the only sound coming from the radio. Eddie would forever be grateful for the friends he’d made since leaving his hometown with his friends to attend college. He’d always heard of the concept of a found family and he was sure that’s what this was. When he closed his eyes, he could see all seven of them well into the future, still together and happy. In their forties, sitting on a beach with drinks and their kids who are also best friends. He’d never thought that seriously about his future before or where he would end up or who he would end up with. But a future with Richie sounded nice. Just the thought of the other man has his heart swelling with love.

At the mall, Bev linked her arm with Eddie’s and walked at a slower pace to accommodate his still achy ankle. Bev stocked up on the things she needed and convinced Eddie to buy some of the sweet-smelling foaming soap for his bathroom. She promised to take it home and hide it her place until after his mom left. He also bought some for Richie’s apartment as he was using a bar of soap and that grossed him out. They ate soft pretzels in the food court and drank smoothies.

Bev drove back to Eddie’s place and they curled up under a blanket on his couch, watching movies and eating some brownies Richie had left for him. When Richie got home, he went to his apartment to clean up before joining them in Eddie’s. He was gifted his candy apple foaming hand soap and sat with the two of them below the blanket. Ben joined them shortly after and the three cooked dinner together and spent the rest of the evening together. For the first time, Richie slept in Eddie’s bed.

*

By Thursday, Eddie was ready to burst with nerves. He’d already started cleaning his apartment, boxing up things to hide at Bev’s that she might find fault with. Waking up in Richie’s arms helped but the first thought in his head, as soon as the anxiety set back in, was that he needed to wash his bedding so she wouldn’t smell him on it. Would she really smell his sheets? Absolutely. There was no doubt in his mind that she would. And if she smelled Richie on them, he’d be screwed.

After their morning class, Ben accompanied Eddie to the café. He was feeling much better and thought the walk would be good for him if he was aiming to be without the brace by Sunday. Bev had to meet with her group for a project but promised to meet them there before her class with Eddie. Seeing Richie’s face light up with a bright smile as soon as he walked in, helped banish his worries for a while. The line was fairly short and by the time they got to the front, he was buzzing with energy just wanting to be with Richie. Yea, he’d woken up with him that morning, but he wanted to be with him always, glued to his side.

“Good morning times two my Spaghetti. And good morning to you Ben.” Richie greeted, leaning on the countertop.

“Times two?” Ben asked.

“Sorry Benny boy, I don’t kiss and tell.” Richie winked.

Ben flushed, a shy smile forming as he avoided eye contact. Eddie rolled his eyes and gently slapped Richie’s shoulder.

“Nothing even happened. He just slept over in my bed because he was too lazy to walk the ten feet to his own apartment.” Eddie said.

“I’m sorry, who clung to who now and was carried to bed like a princess?” Richie asked, cupping one hand around his ear.

“Shut up and take our order.” Eddie’s face was not the one that was flushed.

Ben ordered his usual and Eddie put in for a Richie special and then paid for both to make up for Ben helping him out so much over the last two weeks. They made their way to the end of the counter where Mike was working on Ben’s order. He greeted them with a warm smile and a moment later Bill was coming from the kitchen with a tray of baked goods. He waved after setting the tray down and made his way over.

“M-morning guys.” He greeted.

“Morning Bill. How are things?” Ben asked.

“Can’t complain too much. This week has run a little l-long, but the shop is closed this weekend, so we’ll get some much-needed time off.”

“You guys gonna hang out with Stan?” Eddie asked.

“If he’ll let us. He’s got a test next week he’s been studying for nonstop.” Mike said, bringing over Ben’s drink.

“Tell him he’s going to turn into his dad if he spends all his time studying. That will get you at least a day of Stan time.”

“And he’ll kick you in the shin like he always did to Eddie.” Ben added.

Richie brought Eddie’s drink to him and leaned against the counter. “Who’s kicking you and do I need to have a talk with them?” He asked.

“Stan and no, I kicked him right back.” Eddie said, taking a sip of the drink that tasted like vanilla ice cream.

“Hear that guys, we can put bets on whose boyfriend can beat the other in a fight. At the very least we can throw some jello in there and get a good show.” Richie winked at Bill and Mike, who rolled their eyes in response.

“Aaaaand now you’re single.” Eddie said, turning his back and heading to a table near the counter.

He could hear Mike and Bill behind him laughing as Ben excused himself and followed him. He locked eyes with Richie as soon as he sat, showing him a soft smile in case he thought for even a second that he was serious. Richie blew him a kiss and went back to work as a new customer entered.

Ben had received a text from Bev saying she was on her way and would be there soon while they’d been talking to the others. Now they could see her outside the big front window, running toward the door. Bev practically bounced over to them as soon as she entered the café, energy buzzing off of her before she’d even had any caffeine. She kissed Ben and sat on the edge of his chair, a big grin on her face.

“Guess who got invited to a frat party this Saturday!” She beamed.

“I guess Bev.” Eddie smiled.

“You guess right! And guess who’s going with me.”

“Ben?”

“Nope. All my boys! We all need to blow off some steam, don’t you think?”

With the way they were looking at him, Eddie knew that she really meant ‘you’re wound tighter than clock and we all know it’. But they were right. He was anxious about the impending visit and he could use a bit of a break. As long as he made sure his apartment with perfect before going out and didn’t drink too much, all would be good.

“Alright. I’m in.” He said.

“Really?” Ben seemed surprised.

“Yea. I haven’t been to a big blowout in a while. Might be fun.”

“Well, great!” Bev clapped her hands together. “Now we just need to convince Stan, Bill, Mike and Richie. Two of the four should be pretty easy.”

“Richie and…?” Eddie asked, knowing the other wasn’t Stan.

“Mikey. He loves a good party.” Bev stood again, pressing a kiss to the side of Ben’s head. “I’m gonna grab a coffee and let them know.”

Bev leaned against the counter, talking to the three boys who all gathered around to hear her when she called out to them. Eddie was very aware of the other men in the cafe staring at her and looked to Ben, who had his own eyes locked onto her with a goofy grin. Eddie couldn’t help smiling at him. Ben had never been the jealous type, so it didn’t surprise him that he wasn’t even aware of the attention she garnered. Sometimes he must have noticed, but Eddie couldn’t see him being bothered by it as long as Bev only had eyes for him.

After retrieving her drink, Bev came back to join them, pulling a third chair to their little table. “They’re all in. Bill is texting Stan to convince him but he’s giving him a hard time. Something about a test.”

Eddie sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling his phone from his pocket. “I’ve got this.”

Eddie: Stop being a little bitch. You’re going to that party

Stan: Fuck you

Eddie: See you Saturday

Stan sent back the middle finger emoji and a second later, Bill was calling out to them from the counter, “He said y-yes!”

When it was time for them to go, Eddie made his way to the counter and leaned across for a goodbye kiss from Richie. It was punctuated by all four of their present friends chorusing an “awww” at the action. Eddie hid the pink color in his cheeks with one hand while flipping them off with the other. Saying one last verbal goodbye, Bev, Eddie and Ben left. Ben walked them to class before leaving to head to the library.

Eddie was pretty excited for the party, but he was also a little nervous for several reason. One being the dangers of going out and drinking the night before his mom was due to arrive. The other being his experience at the last party he went to. He hadn’t told Richie everything about that night in the bathroom. He’d initiated the interaction, kissing the guy first because he was drunk, and he wanted to. It was the other guy who dragged him to the bathroom and Eddie felt obligated to let him touch him and reciprocate since he’d started the whole thing. The guy wanted to go further but someone started pounding on the door from the other side and Eddie made a hasty escape. After that his rebellious phase leveled out.

This time, he reminded himself, he’d be there with Richie. He wanted to touch Richie, wanted Richie to touch him. It wouldn’t be the same and this party could be a good memory that erased the last.

[multi-fandom-nonsense]

Intimate

A/N: 200 Follower Celebration! Thanks for all the wonderful humans and terrible pornbots who made this possible. So very grateful for all of you.

Modern Nessian AU

Word Count: 2198

 Cassian really, really, really didn't want to pick up the phone.

    It wasn't that Rhys was annoying per se, but more that Cassian’s younger brother was NOSEY.

     “Why did you leave the reception so early, Cass?” “Why haven't I seen you in a few weeks?” “What are you doing this weekend?” “What do you mean you're working doubles? I'm married and my social life isn't that boring!”

     Cassian knew his little brother was persistent, but 25 texts and 11 missed calls was excessive, even for Rhysand.

     On the third ring, Cassian pinched the bridge of his nose, muted the home improvement show he was watching, and reluctantly picked up his cell phone.

     “Hello-”

     “OH CASSIAN, THANK GOD!” Feyre’s voice erupted from his speaker and nearly burst his eardrum. “Azriel wasn't picking up, no one's hurt but listen. We we're on our way up to the cabin and my phone's dead. Rhys didn't get his snow tires on-”

    Cassian heard his brother indignantly interject, “I didn't realize it be snowing that hard. And they said they couldn't get me in until Tuesday at the earliest. It is only November-”

    “ANYWAY,” Feyre shouted over Rhys. “ we are stuck off the side of the road about two miles before our driveway. Is there any way you could drive out and get us unstuck? You know how Rhys is about strange tow truck guys touching his cars, and we would rather have you.”

    Cassian chuckled as Rhys vehemently protested in the background. “Sure. I'll be there in about an hour.”

    “Thanks, Cass. If we don't answer, just assume the phone died. Or I pushed Rhysand into a snowbank. See you soon.”

-*-

     “Ok, Cass! One, two, three!”

     Cassian stepped on the gas of his truck as Rhysand pushed the back of his car. Feyre gently hit the gas of the little sedan just enough to get the car out of the snowbank.          

     “Hooray!” shouted Rhys, jumping up with his hands in the air. “Thanks, Cass.”

    Cassian stuck his head out the truck window. “No problem! Just throw the chain in a back. I'll follow you guys up to make sure you make it up all right.”

    “I'm driving this time,” Feyre glared at Rhys, who shrugged good naturedly as he got into the passenger side.

    “And don't be stupid,” she said to Cassian. She doubtfully looked up to the sky. “The storm is only going to get worse. You can stay in our spare room.”

    As their vehicles vehicles trudged slowly through the now rapidly falling snow, Cassian realized he had not been up to the cabin since Rhys’ bachelor party.

    The cabin had been in their family for years. Many summers were spent on the lake. When their mother died, disagreements about what to do with it had allowed the cabin to fall into disrepair. Cassian could not bear to see it and had not returned to it for many years.

    But through the blurry-barely-there memories of Rhys’ bachelor party, Cassian remembered that Feyre had her heart sey on fixing up the place.

   As he followed Feyre into the driveway, Cassian recognized that Feyre’s artist's touch brought the cabin back to life.  

   The two car garage was the only entirely new addition. Feyre pulled inside. Cassian parked his truck in the driveway and stepped out to admire the better than new house.

   A beautiful wrap around porch encircled the two-story periwinkle cabin. Huge windows encircled most of the first floor, giving what Cassian was sure was an impressive view of the lake during the day.

    Cassian shivered and hurried up the steps to the front door.

   “Where's your key?” he called over his shoulder. Then-suddenly- the door flew open from the inside and knocked him off the front step.

   “What the-?”

    A brunette, who Cassian had hoped to stay away from for a long time, charged past him in her bathrobe and slippers,  headed directly for the garage.

   Feyre stepped out of the garage, eyebrows furrowed as she greeted her oldest sister.

   “Nesta, what are you-”

   “I have a meeting in Velaris tomorrow and my flight was delayed. I didn't know you were coming. I'll go-”

    “Don't be stupid, it's snowing like crazy and you're in your pajamas-”

    “-don't know what I was thinking but all the hotels were full in anticipation of the storm-”

    “Of course you're staying, don't be ridiculous-”

    “‘-I am not sharing a room with your guest and there’s only one bed-”

     “We can make room!”

    “I am taking my car and going.” Nesta tried to move past Feyre into the garage but at that exact moment, Rhys stepped out with the luggage, causing Nesta to slip on the ice and fall straight on her ass, bathrobe opening to reveal-

    Cassian promptly turned around, trying not to think about the silky black cami and shorts that clung to all of Nesta's curves.

     Nope.

     Not going there.

    “I'll sleep on the couch!” Cassian yelled over his shoulder. “But it's freaking cold so would you just get inside already?”

    “You're not leaving,” Feyre said firmly.

     “Fine.” Cassian could hear Nesta brushing herself off. She swept past Cassian inside, bathrobe clutched tightly around her, and did not look back.

-*-

    Cassian's temptation to find Rhys’ stash of good whiskey and drink through all the bottles he could find was growing by the second. Drunken shenanigans could be blamed on alcohol and poor judgement. Awkward silences around the dinner table could only be blamed on the people involved.

    Nesta stared at her grilled cheese and soup as if she could force the food to absorb the tense silence in the room so she could devour it.

     Cassian spared a glance at his brother, but Rhys was locked into one of those silent conversations with his wife that inspired both annoyance and jealousy in Cassian.

    “Care to share with the class?” he quipped.

    Feyre blinked and turned to him. “I think I'm going to bed early.”

    Rhys stood up. “Same. Blankets are in the closet down the hall.”

     Rhys gathered he and Feyre’s dishes and put them in the sink. “Good night, Cassian. Nesta.”

    When Feyre and Rhysand were tucked away in their first floor master suite, Cassian turned to Nesta.

    “Alone at last,” he smirked, waggling his eyebrows like a villain in a kid's show.

    Nesta rolled her eyes and dunked her crust into her soup.

     “Come on, Nesta, I know you don't want to be here-”

     “You know nothing.”

     “But that doesn't mean you can't relax a little.”

    “I was relaxed until you all showed up.”

    “Well, you can't blame Feyre and Rhys; it is their cabin.”

    “Just you then.”

    “Do I stress you out, Nesta?”

    “You're not worth stress. Mild irritation at best.”

     “Like an itch you need to scratch?” Cassian winked.

     “More like a mosquito to flatten.”

     “Harsh words, Ms. Archeron.”

     Nesta pushed her chair back and brought her dishes to the sink.”No more than necessary.”

     “It wasn't always like that.”

     Nesta's eyes narrowed at him. “You agreed not to mention it.”

    “I didn't mention anything. What's this ‘it' you're referring to?”

     “Nothing. Never mind.” Nesta slammed her dishes in the sink and stomped up the stairs, slamming the loft bedroom door behind her.

    Cassian's smile fell from his face. “Damn it, Cassian,” he muttered to himself. “Just once could you say what you mean and not turn it into a joke?”

-*-

Though Feyre had beautifully redone the cabin in a way that had honored he and Rhys’ mother, Cassian was certain that his mother would have purchased a more comfy couch.

    He tossed and turned for hours. He tried listening to music, practicing mindfulness exercises, and scrolling through social media: nothing helped his brain settle down.

    Cassian put his arm over his eyes and tried to clear his head when he heard a loud creak on the stairs.

   “My mom caught us sneaking out many times thanks to that creaky stair,” he said without looking up.

    “Guess your brother left it for the sentimental value.”

    Cassian sat up and looked over the back of the couch. “What're you doing up?”

    “Couldn't sleep,” she sat down in the chair opposite him.

    “Me neither,” Cassian turned his back and turned on the lamp next to the couch.

    When he turned back around, Nesta avoided his gaze for a few moments.

    “What happened?” she asked.

    “What do you mean?”

     “The night of Feyre and Rhys’ wedding?”

       “Don't you remember?”

        “Bits and pieces,” Nesta tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “The morning after, leaving…”

  Cassian blanched. “Nesta, you can't think…”

   “I don't know what to think, that's why I'm asking. I know you wouldn't force me to do anything, that's not what I'm worried about. But did we sleep together? Consensually?”

    “No, we didn't sleep together.”

     Nesta's eyes narrowed. “But?”

     “But we were pretty intimate.”

     Nesta swore violently and Cassian fumbled over his words. “No! I mean...we...we talked.”

     “And talking is intimate?” Nesta snorted.

    “This was. Not sexually, but yeah.”

     “What did we talk about?”

      “You asked me not to mention it. Insisted, actually.”

      “I'm asking now.”

      Cassian let out a long breath. “You were drunk after the first dance. Elain gave the Maid of Honor speech and you excused yourself from the hotel ballroom. I saw you stumble on your way out the door and followed you to make sure you got to your room safely.”

   “It might sound weird, I really did have good intentions the entire time. Just make sure you got to your room safe and sound and then head back to the reception.”

    Cassian laughed softly. “I guess I wasn't very subtle, because you pulled me into one of the empty rooms and told me off for following you.”

    “This sounds vaguely familiar,” Nesta's eyes smiled.

     “You threatened to castrate me with your stiletto,” Cassian laughed.

       Cassian's laugh trailed off and he pursed his lips. “And then you started crying.”

     “You said you were scared. Scared of being alone. That you would never have what Feyre and Rhys have. Because you were scared people who get to know you would throw you away…”

     “That's ridiculous…”

    “Like your mother did,” Cassian finished.

     Nesta's jaw dropped ever so slightly. “How did you…?”

     She coughed and turned her head. “I have never told anyone that. Not even Elain.”

     Cassian rubbed the back of his neck. “To be fair, you were pretty drunk. I wasn't even sure how much you would remember in the morning. So I told you my biggest fear to even the playing field.”

     “The playing field?” Nesta's eyes snapped to his. “Is this a game to you?”

      “No! See....ugh!” Cassian groaned. “No, that's not a joke. It's not a game. I just didn't want you to be alone in your vulnerability.”

      Nesta hugged her knees to her chest, chewing on her bottom lip. “That's very considerate of you.”

        They sat in silence for a few moments.

       “What was it?” Nesta asked.

       “What was what?”

        “Your biggest fear.”

         Cassian blinked. “Well, I, uhm…”

         “Oh, please,” Nesta stood up and strode over to the couch. She nudged Cassian's feet off the end, then plopped down next to him. “I think we've established that I don't remember much about that night, except waking up next to you in clothes I wasn't wearing the night before.”

    “I slept on top of the covers, for one. For two, you puked and I gave you some of my gym clothes. You changed in the bathroom and I didn't peek.”

    “Still, I think we should-what was it?- even the playing field while I'm sober enough to remember it.”

     “Are you sure I can't arrange a drunken confession? I'm sure I can figure out where Rhys keeps his stash-”

     “Cassian.”

     Nesta's eyes leveled him and his joking demeanor vanished. He swallowed thickly.

     “I'm afraid that no one will see me. That they'll hear the wisecracks and see the laughter on my face but not see me. That they'll think I'm shallow. Azriel is the person everyone goes to for deep conversation. Rhys is really good in a crisis. Even today, Feyre only called because Az wasn't available. I'm more than just the comic relief, but it's really hard to convince people of that.”

   Cassian ran his hand through his hair, avoiding Nesta's gaze. “So yeah, I guess we're even now. No fair spreading this all around though, because I kept your secret so...Fair’s fair.”

    Nesta put her hand on top of his and squeezed. Cassian raised an eyebrow at her.

   “Don't make it weird,” Nesta sighed. “I do have a heart, you know. And I get it.”

    “It's a rare thing to be loved and known,” Nesta continued. “It's what Feyre and Rhys have. They know each other, inside and out, and love each other for it. And I…”

    “You want it,” Cassian finished.

    “Yes.”

     Cassian intertwined their fingers and rubber his thumb along the back of Nesta's hand.

    “Maybe one day we'll find it,” Nesta muttered, leaning her head on Cassian's shoulder as she yawned widely. “The known and loved kind of love.”

    “Yeah,” Cassian gazed down at Nesta as a soft snore escaped her lips. “Maybe.”

Tag list: @tswaney17 @bobex89 @theoceanisnotsilent @thebluemartini @my-fan-side @ashlightgrayson @angelina-figjam @mercy-is-alive @dreaming-of-bohemian-nights @captskyzion

[katandabbieslife]

Wednesday, December 12th, Kat Buys a Farm.

As some of you know, we like to post our stories in a chronological order. Spring semester got busy for us and unfortunately, a story was delayed in being posted. Now that school is back in and school isn’t too crazy at the moment, I am trying to post stuff I’ve had written for a while, but wasn’t posted for sake of keeping things in order. The previous story was Kat’s story about my all girls birthday/slumber party.  This story takes place a week and a half later just as our finals week was wrapping up. She or I might have mentioned in one of the stories from our Thanksgiving break about being out on the horses and running into their neighbors that own the farm on their northern property line.

 For those interested, this update is about the Wednesday, December 12th and I’m writing while we were on Winter break, visiting Kat’s parents. Many stories, I write down lots of details while they are fresh in my mind and go back to flesh out the story when I have time. This is just in case you wonder why I talk in past tense some times during stories.

For those who don’t know, Kat’s parents own a huge horse farm. Kat and Rick are also listed as part owners and employees of the family company. During our Thanksgiving break, we were on the farm. One day we went out for a ride on a couple of the horses. We were riding along a trail to the northern edge of the property and we saw a couple on ATV’s near the fence line and we rode up to check things out. It was the couple who owns the farm to the north of the property and they were only out inspecting the property line because they were getting ready to sell. They hadn’t lived on the property for the last 2 years, opting for something closer to civilization. As I’ve said before. The Closest neighbor is 8 miles away, and the house is up a 2 miles long private drive. Their house is only about 3 or 4 miles north, but since the house was vacant, there were no neighbors within 8 miles. We talked to them for a few minutes and Kat was asking questions about their farm and their kids, she went to school with them and remembered them on the bus and how they used to come across the fence and swim in one of the lakes. She asked about the Stream/Creek on their property and they said it was still flowing nicely after all these years. She asked about the house, the house is in great shape for being vacant for a few years. Then Kat gave them her number and said she’d talk to her parents. They said great since they hadn’t officially put it on the market yet and would prefer a private sale to avoid a real estate agents fee which can get pretty high when dealing with farms. Kat asked permission to check it out the next day when we had more time and daylight. They said “Sure and that they wouldn’t be there but it would be fine. Then they passed Kat a spare key to the house. On the way back to the house, Kat talked about how beautiful their place was and how she used to go over to play with their little girl when she was younger. She told me it would be awesome to add that to the farm. Around this time last year, her parents bought the slightly larger farm on their western property line and now, there was a farm slightly smaller than their original farm on the northern property line, and Kat wanted to tell her parents about it, she wanted them to put in an offer to buy it. We got back to the farm that evening and Kat mentioned it to her father who told her that he knew the place, but wasn’t sure about buying it. He wanted her to give him good, solid reasons why they should buy it. Since Kat is taking some Business administration classes, she decided she’d come up with a quick “proposal” for the purchase. She went through all the costs and fees, yearly taxes, advantages to having the extra land. She even listed reason against, just to be fair and show her father that she was seriously thinking through on all the angles. Tuesday before Thanksgiving, she actually made an appointment with him to meet in his office, a quarter of a mile from the house, in the stable barn. She gave her little proposal, they talked it over and he said ok, but she found the place, she had to do it. This was her project and as part owner and employee, she had to do the work. He told her if she didn’t want to do it, it was ok, but that he would not take over and make the deal on his own, he explained he had many other things coming, one of which was an auction for several of the Dutch Warmblood show horses. (I think they have around 80-90 horses on the farm.) She was in a bit of a panic, this was a lot of money she’d be dealing with and could hurt the company a little if things went wrong. She asked if he would help her at all and he said he’d be there for her in an advisory capacity alone, nothing more. She told him she’d think about it and give him her answer the next day, he agreed and she came home to tell me about it. She decided she would talk to the owners to get an initial sale price and decided she would tell her Dad she’d do it. I explained set your limit, negotiate and if they will not settle, she doesn’t have to buy it and the farm will not lose any money. After Thanksgiving, She was on the phone and in Skype with them several times. She asked her parents on the “wiggle room” on the price and they gave her an absolute upper limit based on what they thought would be the absolute highest price they’d pay for it. After several phone calls and actually very little negotiation since they said Kats initial offer was reasonable, only about $15,000 lower than what they finally settled on. The night before, she was in a panic mode, telling me “Omg baby, what if I fuck this up?” I kept telling her she was doing great. She talked about how the most expensive things she has ever dealt with was her car. She bought a BMW X3, for school, with her parent’s money of course, but she bought it, She haggled, she made the deal, she did everything. This girl even negotiates prices at the flea markets and rummage sales we go to. She was in hyper mode all day the next day, then we got home at night from classes and she rushed around because we’re an hour behind in our time zone. She stripped off the clothes she wore to school, got dressed in kind of a business casual look sat down and opened her laptop and stared at the screen for a good 5 minutes before placing the call. I laid on the couch a few feet away behind the laptop, played around on Twitter, and half listened in and I was so proud of her. I heard them laughing at her jokes. I heard them tell her they were impressed with her offer and how she took the lead on this from her father. They talked about how they remember her, just 10 years ago, coming over to go play with their daughter, braided pigtails and all. Now here she was, buying their farm for her parents. I may have teared up a little hearing them talk about her. I was so proud of my little one. Just proud to be the one this amazing person wants to be with.

They went over a few more details and the she told them she’d get the contracts revised with the new prices and fee’s and a couple requirements dealing with structures on the property. Keep in mind, she did all this during review and finals week and still made the Dean’s list, and managed to ace her exams. I heard her say good bye, I heard the lap top close and I heard nothing else. I looked over the back of the couch and she was staring blankly at the wall and I could see tears in her eyes. I decided to give her a minute to calm down and she came bouncing over the couch on top of me, wiping her eyes and exclaiming “OMG baby! I just bought the farm! I’m 20 years old and I bought a fucking farm!” Her smile said it all and I started crying myself. I grabbed her and wrapped my arms around her neck and held her so close. My girlfriend just bought a farm and I was so proud of her and didn’t want to let her go right then, but it was already 10pm back home and she still had to call her parents and email the revisions to their attorney. I let her go so she could do her work and I got back to studying for I think my last final. I finished studying and while she was on the phone with Mom (hers), I played around on my phone.

When everything was done, we jumped in the shower where I began kissing every inch of her gorgeous body. I let my hands slide down her sides, caressing her butt and squeezing her cheeks, spreading them slightly, as I kissed my way down her chest, over her belly. I twirled my tongue around her belly button a few times as I renewed my grasp on her butt and spread her cheeks further, letting my middle fingers on each hand tease her perfect little butthole, I felt her force outward to open slightly as I let one slip in for a light finger fuck. I began kissing her mound, letting my tongue slip down to the top of her slit and teasing her hood as I swirled around, almost digging under to tease her clit. I finally settled on my knees and grabbed her ankle to raise her leg and let her rest it on my shoulder. She leaned against the back of the shower wall and I was able to slide my tongue back to her asshole. Teasing and tonguing it a bit before running my tongue up through her slit, tasting her juices and sucking on her clit. I let go of her leg and slid my hand down to my own wet little pussy and buried two fingers deep inside as I licked out my beautiful girlfriend. She grabbed the back of my head and began to grind up and down on my mouth, letting me know I was doing well. After another 30 seconds, I felt her legs begin to shake before her back slid down the shower wall, and she was sitting in front of me, shaking, and staring me in the eye as I continued fucking myself. She grabbed my hand and replaced it with her own as she got to her knees in front of me and began kissing my neck, my forehead, and then my lips as she continued fucking my wet little slit with her fingers. I rocked my hips back and forth on her hand. As she forced more in me, I tried hard to force myself further on her hand as I rocked back and forth.  I leaned in, toward her, and gently bit her neck while I slowly bounced on her fingers.

  She was doing everything perfect and I did not want things to ends for the night, but we had finals in the morning and needed sleep. We made out for another minute or so, got out and dried each other off, and jumped in bed. I rolled over, back into my big spoon and told her how very proud I am of her, not just for the purchase of the farm for her families company, but for doing it all, during end of semester review and during finals week. She shocked her dad by moving forward so fast. He even told her she had time to get finals, and even the holidays out of the way first, but as I well know, Kat goes after what she wants. She does not give someone else the chance to jump in and make the first move, or make a better offer. She sees something she wants and she takes steps to make it hers and I love her for it, more and more each day.

[criminalhotch]

“Going the Distance”~An Ethan Dolan Imagine

Can you make an imagine where you’re dating Ethan and you’re like half way across the country in ur state and see the sister squad and the whole Emma and Ethan thing; and you end up like unintentionally ignoring Ethan and everyone because you’re like hurt?? And confused?? And mad?? And all of a sudden he like gets fed up and just comes to see u and and it’s all angsty

Don’t know if you taking writing ideas but I just thought of one: Y/N, Grayson, Ethan, and Emma go back to Jersey. Everyone is loving Y/N and Ethan feels like no one is like Emma. It causes a lot of problems between Ethan and Grayson bc Ethan is rude toward Y/N bc he feels it is her fault on my no one seems to like Emma. In the end, Ethan and Y/N talk everything out. Thanks! Your writing is like flawless! ❤️

A/N: Thank you to the two people who sent in these requests. It was going to be really hard to make two separate storylines so I combined them! Long distance sucks, my best friend lives 11 hours away from me and I only see him a couple times a year. This one isn’t my favorite but it matches the requests. I hope you guys like it! 

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cursing, nothing major

Word Count: 4,454

 I sat in my apartment in my home state. I was miles upon miles from my boyfriend, Ethan Dolan. We had been together a year, but the fans didn’t know. I wasn’t famous, Ethan didn’t want me to get hate because it was a long-distance relationship only making it worse. I hadn’t seen him in three months. Every time they go home to New Jersey I have a big test, so I can never go. I adore his family. I miss him more than anything. I love him I do but distance is so hard. They travel so often it makes it even harder. He does treat me so well. We call, text, snapchat, and FaceTime all of the time. He sends me things to my apartment just because he misses me but with school there’s just never a good time for us to see each other. I decided that I would Facetime him. “Facetiming Turtle Man”. It then stopped ringing meaning he declined it. Soon enough, my phone dinged with a text from him. “Filming a vid with Emma, Gray, and James. I’ll call you later, baby. Love you” it read. Emma, imagine that. No wonder everyone is shipping them. My thoughts made me that I shouldn’t respond.

 A couple of hours later I looked at my phone with two missed calls from Ethan. I had decided to take a relaxing bath and left my phone on the counter. I thought about calling him back, but I was tired. I knew that us talking would only end in a fight or with me crying, probably both. I decided it was best to just go to bed and I did just that. I threw on some sweats and one of Ethan’s shirts that I had even though it had lost his scent months ago. The next morning, I woke up at 8:02 and my first class is at 8:30. It was also a 15-minute walk from my apartment to my class. I threw my hair in a bun, kept the clothes on I wore to bed, brushed my teeth, then left. I got to my class with three minutes to spare. I decided to check my phone. Three missed calls from Grayson and 12 from Ethan. As well as four texts from Grayson and 21 texts from Ethan. Unfortunately, I had no service in this building so responding was not an option and to make it worse this class is three hours long. I guess they will just have to wait.

 Ethan’s POV (Last Night after filming)

“Has Y/N responded to you?” I asked Grayson. “No, you?” he asked. “No, and it worries me” I admitted. “She might have fallen asleep, E. You know she has her 8:30 tomorrow” he reminded me. “You’re right, I just worry, and I miss her” I sulked. “I know you do, dude,” he said patting my back. “What if she is mad at me? I don’t know what I did” I told him. “Maybe it’s not something you did but who you are with” he suggested. “Grayson, you are my brother why would she be mad at that,” I asked him with a tude. “Not me, you fucking idiot. Emma” he said. “Why would she be jealous of Emma?” I asked. “Let’s see it’s a female who sees you way more than she does. All of the fans ship you and Emma with that ugly ass ship name because they don’t know about you and Y/N, not to mention you guys are kind of flirty in our videos” he explained. “That’s just how we are, it’s not serious. I love Y/N, not Emma” I told him. “Ethan, I know that. I have to listen to you complain about it every day, but she doesn’t see you, every day. It’s hard for her too, E” he told me. “I don’t know what to do Gray” I admitted. “She’s probably just asleep. If she doesn’t respond before class tomorrow, then you can worry” he negotiated, and I nodded. “I’m going to go play Fortnite and hope I can clear these thoughts up,” I told Grayson as I headed to my room. I started my game and before I knew it the clock read 4:13 am. I decided to get into bed and try to get some sleep. I tossed and turned for hours. It’s now 8 am and I didn’t sleep a wink. I got up and walked across the house. I found Grayson working out, imagine that. “Gray she never responded to me,” I said. “Me either but why are you out of bed before noon?” he questioned. “Is it out of bed if I never fell asleep?” I asked. “E” he sighed. “My mind wouldn’t shut off, Gray. I can’t lose her. I love her” I said pulling my hair through my fingers. “Go pack. I’m going to book you a flight while you pack. Go see her. The video for Tuesday is almost done and I can finish it. We can do something in New Jersey for next Tuesday. You just go get your girl, alright?” he said. God, I love this kid. “Thanks, Gray,” I said hugging him. “You’re welcome. I am the best twin ever, now go” he demanded. I went upstairs and packed. It was pretty last minute but if I forgot anything I could have Grayson bring it to New Jersey. I walked back downstairs around 8:45. “Ok, you have a flight at 10. I have printed off all of your information. If I were you I would have Y/N come to New Jersey with us for Thanksgiving later this week. You guys can meet Emma and me there” he explained. Emma was coming to New Jersey because her parents decided on a   last-minute vacation but didn’t ask her to join so she didn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Grayson and I invited her to come to New Jersey with us. I ate a quick bowl of cereal then had Grayson drive me to the airport. We got to LAX about 10 minutes before my plane boarded. I got to my gate as soon as boarding started. I got on the plane and before I knew it I was in the air. I was so ready to surprise her. I need it. She needs it. We need it.

Before I knew it, we had made it to the next airport. I got off and headed straight to Y/N’s house. I had her address from sending her things in the mail. I went straight there hoping that she was home. I knocked but no one ever came. I decided that I would do what any good boyfriend would do. I would wait, at her doorstep for her to arrive.

 Y/N’s POV

I decided to steal some of the school’s WiFi before I go back to my apartment. I went to the library grabbed one of the study cubicles and got to work. I had one last test before Thanksgiving break and then I was done. I was pretty confident, but it couldn’t hurt to refresh myself. I stayed in the cubicle for a couple hours just to ensure a good grade on this test. I packed up my things then took the 15-minute walk back to my apartment. I made my way up to my apartment where I saw a figure standing in front of a door. They must be waiting for maintenance, I thought. I kept walking until I realized the figure was in front of my apartment and he looked familiar. He looked like Ethan. I realized I never responded to any of them. I should do that when I get settled in. The closer I got the more I realized it was Ethan. “Ethan?” I asked. “Y/N!” he exclaimed while jumping up. We ran to each other. I dropped my backpack not caring about my laptop. I ran as fast as my feet would take me. It felt like it took forever but soon enough I was engulfed in his arms again. I buried my head into his chest. I took a deep breath trying to take everything in. Then I began crying. I pulled away from him and wiped my tears away. “Why are you crying, babe?” he asked. “I missed you so much and I am so glad you’re here” I explained. “Well, I’m here now, alright? No more tears” he said kissing my forehead. I unlocked my door then took us inside. My apartment was filled with pictures of Ethan and I. “I’m everywhere” he said. “Hey, it’s both of us and there’s some of Grayson too but when I don’t get the real thing I have to make do” I shrugged. “I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for me too” he sighed. “E?” I asked. “Yes, baby?” he said. “Why are you here?” I asked. “Well you wouldn’t answer Grayson or me, so I knew something was up. Even if you were mad at me you would respond to Grayson, at least. I was so scared something happened to you that I had to be here. Grayson found me a flight while I packed my stuff up then the next thing I knew, I was here” he explained. “I’m sorry for worrying you. After you declined my FaceTime I got upset so I took a bath then went to bed. Then I woke up late this morning, so I didn’t have time to respond before class then the building I was at didn’t have service. Then I went to the library and zoned out. I’m fine E. I didn’t mean to scare you” I sighed. “Why were you upset?” he asked. “I just missed you,” I said. “It’s more than that. You’re looking away from me which means you’re hiding something” he noticed. Damn, why did he know me so well?  I stayed silent. “It’s Emma isn’t it?” he asked, and I nodded. “Grayson was right” he sighed. “What did Grayson say?” I asked. “He said that you might be jealous of Emma because she is with me a lot and we’re friends. That there are fans shipping her and I because they don’t know about us” he said. “And you guys get awful friendly in your collabs” I mentioned. His eyes dropped, and I prepared for the worst. He had cheated.  “Y/N, baby girl, sweetheart, pumpkin, my princess. I know you are thinking the worst. You are thinking that I cheated on you but I didn’t. I would never. Emma and I are seriously just friends. You know my personality and that I’m very goofy which could be mistaken as flirty. I do not love Emma, I do not even look at Emma that way. There is only one girl I look at with all the love in my heart and that’s you” he said pulling his phone out. “Ethan, what are you doing?” I asked. “You’ll see” he smirked. A few seconds later my phone dinged. It was a notification: Ethan Dolan tagged you in a post. I shot him a look. What was he up to? I opened the app and saw a picture of Ethan and I from a few months ago. There was kind of a long caption. “Just an update on my life for you guys. Emma and I are NOT together. I am with this beautiful girl right here. Her name is Y/N and I love her with everything that I am. Not many people know that we have been together for the past year. She isn’t famous, and I was worried she wouldn’t be able to handle the hate so please treat my girl well, she has my heart. Don’t be the reason she breaks it”  

“Ethan” I smiled as tears filled my eyes. “I love you so much. I know I didn’t ask, and I just did it, but it was the only way I could prove how much I loved you” he said pulling me into him. “You’re so extra babe” I giggled. “Can we snuggle for a little bit?” he asked, and I nodded. As we laid there I began to think. “E how long are you staying?” I asked. “Well it’s Monday and Thanksgiving is Thursday. My family’s Thanksgiving is Thursday at 4 which I really want you to come. I’ll buy your ticket, I just want you there. They miss you” he admits. “You don’t have to ask me twice. I see my family all the time” I giggled. “Oh, um I should probably tell you this” he started. “Tell me what?” I asked getting upset. “So, Grayson and I felt bad. You know how soft we are, Y/N even if we don’t act like. You can’t leave someone alone on Thanksgiving, right?” he smiled trying to guilt trip me. “E, what did you guys do?” I asked. “WeinvitedEmmatoNewJerseybecauseshedidn’thaveanywhereelsetogo” he said all in one breath. “So Emma is going to be at your family Thanksgiving?” I asked. “Um, yes?” he said unsure of what my reaction would be. “Good, I can tell her to stay the fuck off my man,” I said. “Babe, she’s not after me” he pleaded. “Bullshit E. Open your eyes when you watch your videos. She is all over you! Not Grayson but you! She knows about me, right?” I asked. “Well of course. I talk about you all of the time, ask Gray” he said. “She clearly doesn’t get the hint then, Ethan” I scowled. “Babe, we only get to see each other for a few days let’s not spend it arguing” he pleaded. “E, I don’t want to fight but I haven’t seen you in months, then there’s some YouTuber I have never met all of over you, your fans ship you guys together like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. How am I supposed to feel?” I asked with tears pricking my eyes. “Y/N, don’t cry. We both know I can’t handle your tears, babe” he says softly. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore, E” I admitted even if I didn’t want to. “Y/N, I just told everyone, don’t say that” he begged. “Ethan, I have seen you maybe four or five weeks of the over 52 we have been together. This destroys me. I miss you more every day. I watch your videos to support you and Gray, obviously but so I can hear your voice and your laugh so I can see you smile. Yes, we talk all the time but college is so much plus having a famous boyfriend who lives states away. I can’t keep doing this, E. I love you, this has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t love you. I love you more than anything but loving you is killing me” I sobbed as my head fell into his chest. “Move in with Grayson and me” he suggested. “Ethan that’s crazy,” I said looking up from his chest with tear-stained cheeks. “I cannot let you go. You have made me a better person, Y/N. Not to mention, I love you. Everything I said in that Instagram post was true. You have my heart; baby girl and I can’t be without you anymore. A year is long enough” he explained. “Ethan, what about school, my family, my friends, but again most importantly school?” I asked. “UCLA?” he said in a duh tone. “I won’t get into UCLA” I shot back. “Actually, I already applied for you because I was going to ask if you wanted to move in with Gray and I after Christmas?” he smiled trying to read my reaction. “Did I get in?” I asked worriedly. “OF COURSE, YOU GOT IN. YOU ARE THE SMARTEST GIRL I KNOW” he exclaimed. “I’m mad at you” I whispered. “For what?” he asked. “Going behind my back and applying at UCLA” I explained. “Well, you should be mad at your mom too because she was the one who suggested it and told me all the information I needed that I didn’t have” he admitted. “You went through all of that just, so we could be together?” I asked, and he nodded. “Ethan Grant, you are an idiot and you’re sneaky, but I don’t know what I’d do without you” I smiled. “My parents are ok with me transferring?” I asked him. “They told me that they trust me to take care of you and that you’ll be much happier being with me then stuck here” he explained, and he was right. “Are you going to move in with us?” he asked. “I don’t know, E. It’s a lot all at once” I answered. “Take your time. You have a couple weeks before anything needs decided” he told me as I snuggled into his chest. If I wanted to be happy I knew that LA with him and Gray would be the best thing. He’s everything to me but what if we break up. I’ll have to move back home and that’s scary too. I love him, but I’m scared.

 It’s Wednesday afternoon and we’re flying to New Jersey. These past couples of days with Ethan have been so nice. I only had one class yesterday and once I was done with my test I could leave. I was back before Ethan even got up for the day. Grayson and Emma’s flight got in 10 minutes after Ethan and I’s did so we decided to wait for them. We could hear Y/Ship/N being chanted but we just decided to ignore it waiting for Gray and Emma. Soon enough their plane landed, and we were met with Grayson’s big smile and Emma being Emma. “Hey, Y/N. How are you?” Gray asked wrapping me in a hug. “Good, how was your flight?” I asked. “Not bad” he smiled then I looked at Emma. “Y/N, this is Emma. Emma, this is Y/N” Grayson said while Ethan stood there awkwardly. “Hey, E has told me a lot about you,” Emma said, and I smiled. “Yeah, you too” I lied not wanting to make her feel bad. We started walking out the airport hearing. “Why is Emma here?” “Is Emma dating Grayson then?” “Gremma” “Ethma” “Y/Ship/Name” then the farther we got the worse it got. “Emma shouldn’t even be here. Flirting with Ethan when he has a girlfriend” “Boo Emma” “Emma should go back to LA” “No one likes Emma” “Fuck you, Emma”

I looked at Ethan and he was angry. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were narrowed. I squeezed his hand trying to make him feel better, but it didn’t work. Shortly after hearing more mean things he let go of my hand and stormed in front of us. I just let him go. I waited for Emma and Grayson to catch up so I could walk with them. “Why aren’t you walking with Ethan?” he asked. “That’s a good question” I answered. “What happened?” Emma asked. “I think he got mad at all of the fans being mean to Emma. I squeezed hand trying to get him to calm down, but he just got mad and stormed off” I explained. “He’s such an ass sometimes” Grayson muttered.

We walked to the waiting area by the door, waiting for Lisa and Sean to pick us up. Ethan was outside in the cold. “E, wait inside with us” I yelled and he ignored me. “Whatever, freeze. See if I care” I yelled staying inside with Gray and Emma. “I’m sorry, he’s being like this” Grayson apologized. “it’s fine, he will get over it,” I said. “I don’t know why he is so upset. I get hate all the time, this is mild” Emma explained. “It’s Ethan, who knows” I mumbled. “My parents just pulled up,” Gray said. We put our stuff in the trunk as Ethan had already put his things up then got in the car. “I’ll sit in the back with Gray” I said and they both nodded. The whole ride back to the Dolan’s was damn near silent other than the few questions Lisa and Sean asked us. Ethan never answering any of them. Ethan shot out of the car and headed up to his room. “What’s wrong with your brother, Gray?” Lisa asked. “Honestly, I don’t know” he answered. “Y/N, do you know?” Sean asked. “Not really. Shortly after we got to the airport he got into this mood” I said, and they nodded not asking any further. I put my things in Ethan’s room. He was sat on his bed and his back to the door. I dropped my stuff off and headed back downstairs letting him make his own decisions. “He still being a pain?” Emma asked. “Yeah, he will calm down eventually. Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, he will talk eventually about what’s bothering him” I explained.

Emma, Grayson, and I sat watching Christmas movies. We were watching Home Alone. We had already watched Elf and The Grinch. Ethan came downstairs to get a drink and didn’t say anything to anyone. He went back up to his room. “What is his deal?” Grayson asked. “I don’t know” I muttered not pushing it. “I’ll go talk to him,” Grayson said getting up from the couch and pausing the movie.

 Grayson’s POV Sometimes Ethan confuses the hell out of me. This being one of those times. I barge into his room not caring that I didn’t knock. “You could knock” he scoffed. “You could not be a dick,” I said back. “Your girlfriend is hanging out with Emma and me because you are ignoring her. For what reason Ethan? What has got you so pissed off you are ignoring everyone when it’s the day before Thanksgiving? Shouldn’t you be I don’t know, THANKFUL” I yelled at him. “Y/N is making everyone hate Emma. Look at twitter everyone is telling Emma she’s ugly and to leave us alone because they know I’m with Y/N. It’s not fair” he said. “Ok, so you are pissed at the fans but taking it out on Y/N. Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound?” I asked. “She was the one that was jealous of Emma” he shot back. “Ethan, you fucking idiot. She is your girlfriend and barely gets to see you where Emma sees you all the time. I would be jealous too” I explained to him. “I see you all of the time and she isn’t mad about you” he sassed. “I am your brother, your TWIN brother so there’s no way I am going to be able to take you from Y/N. We share our time with you, it’s different, Ethan. And if you’re too ignorant to figure that out maybe you should break up with Y/N and be with Emma if that’s what you want” I yelled. “No, it’s not. I love Y/N, but I care about Emma. I don’t want her getting hate because of Y/N and I being together. It’s not fair to Emma” he said. “Ok well, it’s not fair to any of us when you ignore us when you are mad at the fans. Tweet something and tell them to be nice to Y/N and Emma. It’s not that hard, E. You are just so damn stubborn that you don’t think about things” I said, and he sighed knowing he had fucked up. “I’m going downstairs and sending Y/N up here. You better apologize, you asshole” I said. “I will, thanks Gray,” he said. I walked to the living room and looked at Y/N. “I calmed him down, go to talk to him,” I said, and she nodded.

Y/N’s POV

I walked into Ethan’s room slowly. “I’m sorry” he started. ‘I was mad at you when I should be mad at myself. I was the one who hid you from the fans for so long now they are mad not only that I hid it but because I’m not with Emma. I blamed you for everyone being mean to Emma when it’s my fault. I guess because we argued about Emma and I’s friendship that it was an easy way to escape my guilt. I’m so sorry for being a stubborn asshole. I’m going to tweet and clear everything up. I hope you still love me” he apologized keeping his head down scared to look at me. “I do still love you Ethan, but you need to talk to me instead of getting mad about things. I don’t want people being mean to Emma, either. If you weren’t up here wallowing in self-pity you would see that I don’t really mind her” I explained to him. “I’m so sorry that I ruined Thanksgiving” he sighed pulling his hands through his hair. I grabbed his cheeks making him look at me. “You didn’t ruin anything, E. Now clear things up and you can join the rest of us downstairs,” I said kissing his forehead and running my hand through his hair. He grabbed his phone and opened the Twitter app. He tweeted, “Hey guys. We saw some of you at the airport. A lot of you had nice things to say and some didn’t. I know you are upset that I didn’t tell you about Y/N sooner. I had a good reason for that. Therefore, a lot of you thought I was with Emma. I’m sorry for the confusion. Emma is one of my best friends and Y/N is my girlfriend. I love and care for both of them in different ways so please don’t send hate to either of them. Thanks. -E”

“There hopefully things get better” he smiled. “You tried, E and that’s all that matters,” I said. “I do love you, Y/N. I don’t want Emma. I want you and I still want you to come to LA” he admitted. “I love you too, E” I smirked while leaning into his lips. Smiling into it I kiss him. Before I knew it, he had flipped us onto the bed. “Ethan” I yelled while he flipped us over.  I was lying on my back and he was hovering over me. “Are you going to move to LA and live with Gray and me?” he asked wanting an answer. “Yes, E. I’ll move to LA with you and Gray as long as you get off of me, so we can downstairs,” I said. “Fuck yeah,” he said jumping up. “You’re an idiot” I giggled. “But I’m your idiot” he winked. “Yes, I suppose you are,” I said as I shook my head as we headed back to the living room. Ethan Grant Dolan, you are an idiot, you are the most stubborn person I have ever met, but you complete me.

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Captain Cold and Me (chapter 1 of 6)

Sara Lance, unbeknownst to her high school classmates, has connections to some of Star City's most popular super-powered heroes--but no powers of her own. Then the mysterious Captain Cold saves her from an attack…and does his best to convince her that he’s not the bad guy everyone seems to think he is. And maybe not all of the "good guys" should be trusted...

Author's note: This story is a weird amalgamation of things. It started when I saw a book titled "The Supervillain and Me" (check it out!) on the YA shelves at Barnes & Noble. That, of course, gave me CaptainCanary vibes. After I bought and read it, they were even stronger. I posted about that on Tumblr, and people encouraged me to write the CC high school AU I was considering.

So I did! It takes the skeleton of the book (which is very much its own thing-again, read it!)-at least at first-adds some (very adapted) Arrowverse characters and plots, and stirs it up with my own weird imagination. I own nothing of this but my own words, and I make no money off it.

This will be six chapters (all but one already complete), posted one a day until Tuesday. Many thanks to @larielromeniel for the beta, and to @sylvanheather for her thoughts! And happy birthday to @dragonydreams!

Can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

“Sara! Sara, did you hear?”

Sara Lance closed her eyes in resignation as she heard the footsteps of Felicity Smoak, her best friend, hurrying up behind her in the halls of Star City’s Kanigher-Broome High School. She loved Felicity, she really did, but she knew what was coming here, or suspected at any rate, and she really didn’t want to talk about it.

Felicity, however, was going to tell her anyway.

“Principal Hunter got a special guest for the assembly today,” she said breathlessly, adjusting the strap of her backpack where it was slung over her shoulder, swiping her dark hair with its blond roots out of her face. “Do you know who it is?”

Sara could guess.

“Nope,” she said, however, continuing to stroll toward physics class. “No idea. Fliss, did you finish your lab report yet? I want to ask Dr. Stein…”

“Sa-ra!” Felicity actually stomped her foot. “This is important! Don’t you think it’s probably a super? Should I go fix my hair? Redo my makeup before the assembly? We need to get there early so we can get a seat!”

Felicity had a real thing for supers—and the top team in Star City right now was the Black Canary and the Green Arrow. Sara’s friend had a massive crush on the Arrow (maybe on the Canary too), but she didn’t know what Sara did: That the Black Canary was Sara’s annoying big sister, Laurel, and the Arrow was Laurel’s rich-boy boyfriend, Oliver Queen. 

Sara had known Laurel and all her quirks since birth, and she’d known Ollie for nearly as long as she could remember. It was tough to be awe-inspired by the girl who continually left sopping-wet towels on the bathroom floor or the boy who’d once been so helpless without servants that he’d kept buying new underwear rather than admit he didn’t know how to use the washing machine.

They’d both acquired their powers (for Laurel, a sonic scream, flight and a degree of invulnerability, and for Ollie, perfect aim, a literal inability to miss his mark, in addition to greater strength and agility) at about the same time, a handful of years ago, around their 16th birthdays, just like most supers. While Sara’s parents had made sure Laurel had a chance to learn and become accustomed to her powers, they’d balked at letting her take on the role of a public superhero despite her wishes.

Oliver hadn’t even entertained the notion, as far as Sara knew. He’d happily used his aim to win drinks in darts tournaments at Star City’s (not so) finest bars, and his strength to impress girls who weren’t Laurel.

Until the day everything changed.

It’d been an assassination attempt, everyone said, one that targeted both Commissioner Quentin Lance and Ollie’s mother, Moira Queen, who’d been mayor at the time. A massive earthquake centered on the old City Hall, undeniably unnatural, as it hadn’t affected anything outside a relatively small radius. At first, everyone had suspected a super gone rogue, before investigation had revealed the device detonated by a disgruntled former police officer.

Quentin and Moira had survived. Dinah, Sara and Laurel’s mother, who’d been on her way into the building to meet her husband for lunch, had not. Neither had Tommy Merlyn, Ollie’s best and oldest friend and the son of Moira’s deputy mayor. He’d been sitting on the front steps, waiting for his perpetually late friend to show up.

They didn’t have costumes or names yet, and they wouldn’t go patrolling for a few months. But in many ways, that was the day the Black Canary and the Green Arrow were born.

And then there was Sara, just a few years younger. Sara didn’t have powers. She had a second-degree black belt—about to test for third--but no powers.

It wasn’t good enough. It would never be good enough. Sara sighed. Felicity, unaware of her thoughts, elbowed her.

“Come on!” she said. “Earth to Sara Lance! What do you think?”

“I think I want to skip it,” Sara muttered, shifting her own backpack.

“Skip English class?” Felicity blinked at her. “That’s not like you.”

Apparently, Sara had completely missed the thread of this conversation. She sighed again. “No. Never mind.” She gave her friend a onceover. “You look fine. And we get there early if you want. Just don’t expect me to squeal and wave and go all fangirl with you.”

Felicity grinned and gave her a one-armed hug. “Sara, I just don’t get you at times, but you’re the best.”

“You know it.”

Felicity (and Sara) had guessed right. The Green Arrow in his hood and green leather and Black Canary in her black leather and domino mask had strolled out onto the stage at the assembly, exhorting the students not to bully each other and to stay in school, etc., etc. Sara had rolled her eyes so hard they hurt, while Felicity did indeed squeal and wave and go all fangirl. She was still gushing when the assembly let out, and they headed for what Principal Hunter called the senior Creators Club—and Sara privately called Kanigher-Broome’s catchall hangout for Star City’s young, social and slightly geeky.

Sara’s father didn’t really like her being home on her own any more, not since…since her mother died. He was still concerned that the would-be killer (who had died in prison last year) hadn’t acted alone, and that the whole family could be a target. Quentin not only went armed as part of his commissioner duties, he often had an entourage with him at all times—and Laurel was the Black Canary. Sara was…just Sara. So, to keep her dad happy, she stayed at school a little longer, working on whatever homework or projects came her way, chatting with Felicity and other classmates, pretending things were…normal.

“Did you see? The Green Arrow winked at me, Sara!” Felicity did a little dance step in the corridor on their way toward the senior lounge, dodging students headed in the other direction. “He did! I swear it. Right at me.”

Ollie had probably been winking at Sara. He knew perfectly well that she hated when he and Laurel made appearances at her school. “Mmhmm,” she agreed absently. “That Green Arrow. Quite the flirt.” Ollie was a flirt, or he had been. The Green Arrow was anything but.

“Do you think I should go blond again?” Felicity stopped, facing Sara, wrapping her fingers around a tendril of her hair and holding it out to inspect it critically. “I like the goth-y look,” she commented, starting to turn to head toward the lounge again, “but…oof!”

She collided right with a tall, thin boy, knocking his bag out of his hands and knocking her own glasses off her face. Grasping desperately for them, she grabbed the edges of his worn black jacket instead, the glasses clattering to the floor. The boy reacted with a startled noise and stepped back, tripping over his own bag, making a faint sound of pain as he did so.

Sara stepped forward in concern, reaching out to steady him, even as Felicity stooped and felt around for her glasses. But he caught himself without incident, shaking his head, and Sara stopped wondering if she’d imagined that pained gasp.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

The boy, who had dark, very short hair with what might even be a few glints of premature silver in it, was still looking aside, stooping to reclaim his bag.

“I’m all right,” he said in a low tone as he straightened. “Really. Thanks.”

Felicity gave a cry of victory and stuffed her glasses back on to her face, standing again. ”Sorry!” she told the boy cheerfully, then frowned. “Wait. Do I know you?”

He gave an almost curt shake of his head, looking at Felicity, then finally glancing at Sara. His eyes—an icy blue that was so striking that Sara sucked in a breath--widened, and he turned away abruptly. Sara blinked, watching him duck into the senior lounge. He’d been quite good-lucking, really, she thought. Those cheekbones and eyelashes were totally unfair in addition to those eyes.

“Sara! Sara!”

Felicity would keep Sara-ing her until she responded. With a sigh, she looked at her friend, who was still gaping at the door to the lounge. “What?”

The other girl looked upset, for some reason. “Don’t you know who that was?”

“…no?” The boy had looked vaguely familiar, though everything about him—his hunched shoulders, his downcast eyes—screamed that he didn’t want to be noticed.

“That was Leonard Snart. Snart, Sara!”

The world stopped. “Oh.”

Snart. The son of Lewis Snart, the crooked officer who’d tried to arrange for her dad’s assassination, who’d rocked Star City with the explosion that had killed her mother and so many others. For a moment, Sara couldn’t breathe. The memories were still so strong…the search for survivors, the hunt for suspects, the news that’d trickled out about motives and targets. The trial, which had, mercifully, been extremely brief.

“How do you know?” she asked numbly, stepping to the side to let other seniors by. “I mean. I know he had two kids, a son and daughter. But neither of them went here…before…”

Felicity sighed, running a hand through her hair. Her gaze was sympathetic and troubled.

“Remember that hackerspace thing I was involved with a few years back?” she asked. “Over in the East Side? I ran into him there once or twice. Never talked, barely knew his name. He’s a quiet kid. It took me a minute to recognize him here. He shaved off his curls.” She glanced away. “It’s not like I was going to bring it up after. But…Snart. Sort of a memorable name.”

“Yeah.” Sara stood, frozen, another moment, then shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like he had anything to do with it. I just…I thought both of them went into foster care in Central. I remember reading…”

She’d once read the articles about the case obsessively, determined to figure out if anything could have saved her mom, could prevent something like that from ever happening again. She’d always wondered if Laurel or Ollie could have, if they’d been using their powers for hero-ing back then. But it was the kind of thing she’d never had the heart to ask.

“I know.” Felicity’s voice was low. She sighed again. “I can’t figure out why he’d even want to come back here.”

“Um. I might know something about that…”

Both of them turned at the sheepish voice behind them. Barry Allen, shuffling his feet, gave them an uncertain grin. Felicity squeaked and put her hands on her hips. She’d dated Barry briefly, but while it hadn’t lasted, they were still friends. And as Sara well knew, withholding information was majorly against the Felicity’s-friend code.

“Spill, Allen,” she said, fiercely enough that Barry paled a little.

“Well, not really the reasons,” he clarified, switching his gaze to Sara, his cheeks a little pink. She smiled despite herself. Barry was such a lovable dork. “But some of the story behind it.”

Felicity folded her arms and fixed him with a glare that was probably supposed to be intimidating, then gave him a regal nod, as if to tell him to carry on with it.

“My dad met him, Snart—uh, Len—in Central City, when he was there doing some, ah, charity work.” Barry continued. Sara remembered that his dad was a doctor, and that his family was originally from Central. “His little sister, she’s happy there, in school, with a good family, but Len wanted to come back here to at least finish school.” He bit his lip. “Dad helped him with the emancipation paperwork. I don’t know where he’s living, but he’s come by our house for dinner once or twice, at my parents’ insistence. Doesn’t talk much.” He sighed. “Be nice to him, OK? He’s had a rough road, but he’s an OK guy. There’s good in him.”

His pleading gaze was on Sara, who really had no intention of holding Leonard Snart responsible for his father’s misdeeds. She nodded, then smirked, deciding to try to lighten the mood a little.

“Aww,” she teased. “Gotta crush on him, Barry? He is really cute.”

Barry blinked, then turned pinker. “What? No! Uh. Not that I have a problem with that.”

Barry and his current girlfriend, Iris West, were currently the leading contenders for most likely to get married right after graduation. It was just a lot of fun to tease him about it.

Felicity got a particularly evil look on her face, but Sara, still smirking, cut back in.

“Of course I’ll be nice to him,” she said, then sobered. “Having a horrible parent doesn’t make him a bad person.” She nibbled her lip a little, thinking. “He’s kinda one of his dad’s victims too, in a way, isn’t he?”

Barry nodded, growing serious himself. “Yeah. I mean…he hated the guy. Hated. It’s not like he’s talked about it, really, but…”

“Join the crowd,” Sara murmured, as Felicity nodded next to her. “No worries, Bar. In fact…”

She shouldered her backpack, took a deep breath, and headed for the lounge. “In fact, I think there’s something I need to do.”

She could hear Barry and Felicity following her, but she ignored them, stopping in the entrance and scanning the room. There. The dark-haired boy was sitting by himself at a table in the far corner, pulling a laptop out of his much-abused bag and opening it on the table. He glanced up as she approached, a flash of something darting over his face, and Sara felt a pang of empathy.

“Hey,” she said as he met her eyes, his own gaze opaque. “I just wanted to say, sorry about my friend. She’s a klutz.” She took a deep breath (ignoring Felicity’s protests behind her), then held out her hand. “I’m Sara Lance.”

The boy—Leonard—held her gaze for a long moment, then stood. He was tall, Sara thought, eying him. And…yeah. Cute. Hot, really. Mm. He didn’t look like a senior in high school. College student, at least.

“Hey,” he said in return, so quietly that she could barely hear him. “It’s OK.” He shrugged. “It was an accident.”

“Your laptop’s all right?” Sara darted a look down at it. It was an old machine, she thought. But that didn’t mean it didn’t mean a lot to him.

“It’s fine.” The corner of his mouth tugged up a little, a tiny little smile, but a smile nonetheless. Sara felt like she’d won a victory. Then he reached out and took her proffered hand.

A firm, calloused grip, one that didn’t back down because she was a girl. Sara liked that. And he didn’t seem to find her gesture overly formal because they were only in high school. His handshake was steady, and so were his eyes, and damn…

“Leonard Snart,” he said so quietly that she could barely hear him.

“Pleased to meet you, Leonard,” she said quietly in return. “Glad you’re OK.”

She’d been pulled away from Leonard nearly immediately, and that was OK too. Felicity had wanted to talk about the physics lab she’d been uninterested in earlier, and then to gush about the Green Arrow and the Black Canary some more. Then Barry and Iris had come over, asking about the upcoming talent show, and she’d gotten distracted again.

When the club hours had ended and they’d all been told to go home, Sara glanced around, but Leonard Snart was already gone. She shook her head, then bade other friends farewell and walked with Felicity toward the parking lot, where the other girl turned to her.

“Do you need a ride home?” Felicity asked, a touch distractedly. “It’s no problem. I can drop you off on the way.”

Felicity drove like a bat out of hell. Sara loved her friend, but she was actually glad to have an excuse not to trust her life to the Fliss-mobile today.

“Nah. My dad is actually home tonight. He wants us all to have dinner together, for once,” she demurred. “Should be here soon.”

Felicity gave her a cheerful wave, then headed toward her old Cobalt, peeling out of the parking lot with a squeal of tires. Sara shook her head, then checked her phone.

Nothing. But after only a few moments, it chimed. Sara, watching the other seniors trickle out one by one, checked it again.

“Sorry, honey,” her dad texted. “Stuck here late. Can Felicity give you a ride?”

Sara bit her lip. Why hadn’t he sent that a few moments ago? But she’d thought that this dinner thing might actually happen. She could text Laurel, but her sister and Ollie almost certainly had something more important going on. Hero-ing and whatnot.

“Sure,” she texted back after a moment. “See you later.”

Then she started for home.

It wasn’t a long walk, really. But with the level of violence in Star City these days, neither her dad nor her sister usually liked her walking home alone, especially not later in the day. Whatever. Sara had a black belt. She could take care of herself. Her grip tightened on her backpack. Right? She’d be fine.

Sara was crossing the railroad tracks just outside the edge of the Glades when she heard the footsteps. Two people, at a guess. Well. People went for walks here too. Probably. She listened, heart beating just a little faster, then scanned the street ahead of her. Stores and other businesses closed down early here these days. Nothing seemed to be open, and traffic was nonexistent.

She picked up the pace, just a little. The footsteps picked up too. And then they were three sets. Four?

Sara abandoned her pretense and ran. There had to be someplace she could duck into, she thought, her own heartbeat echoing in her ears. There had to be!

A male voice behind her called out something in a snarl. Sara didn’t look back, pelting down the uneven sidewalk, scanning the quiet street, wondering if she should yell or...

Someone grabbed her backpack, jerking her to a stop, and Sara kept enough presence of mind to turn fighting. She lashed out at the man with a hand, fingers stiff, jabbing toward his eyes and connecting. He yelped, putting his hands to his face, and she pulled away, turning to run ahead.

But there were two more men there, young and scruffy, thin and looking a bit strung out. Sara didn’t hesitate. She struck out at one’s face, then kicked hard at his kneecap, sending him tumbling to the ground, then rounded on the other, who gaped at her a moment, apparently stunned by her reaction.

Sara drove her foot into his groin without a flicker of sympathy, stepping past him as he folded, drawing a breath to run again. She’d done it, she’d defended herself, she could...

The first man, however, hadn’t been as down for the count as she’d hoped. An arm looped around her neck even as she took a step, pulling her back again, and...damn. Something cold and metal pressed against the skin just under her right ear, something sharp.

“Money!” her captor hissed in her ear, arm tightening. Sara could hear the groans from the other two, interspersed with cursing. She tried to take a deep breath, thinking about what she had in her bag.

“I don’t have any,” she said after a moment. “I don’t! Really. Look!”

“Yeah, right!” The knife pricked harder...but then the man did move it, reaching down toward her bag, and his other arm loosened just a little.

Sara took advantage of it. She stomped on the instep of his foot, hard, then threw an elbow right into his solar plexus when his grip loosened. He crumbled and she turned to run again, taking a step, then two...

“OK, pretty girl, freeze!”

There had been a fourth man. And he had a gun. Which was now pointed right at her head.

Sara froze.

The man was to her right, but she could see him, and the gun, out of the corner of her eye. He held it steady and seemed far more calm and competent than the other men. Which made him far scarier.

For a long moment, he studied her, then let out a snort of laughter. Sara wanted to bristle at the derision...but she didn’t dare move a muscle. Supers were said to have a sixth sense about people in trouble, and while Laurel and Oliver said it was nebulous and impossible to measure, there was a measure of truth to it. Surely one of them would come to her rescue? It would be mortifying...but at this point...

“Someone will pay ransom for you,” the other man said, finally. “Girl like you in a place like this? Someone’s gotta be looking for you.” He chuckled again. It was not a nice chuckle. “Maybe we’ll even give you back. Maybe not.”

Sara took a slow breath. She couldn’t let this man just kidnap her. And she had to move before the other men regrouped. They were all getting to their feet, muttering to each other.

Then there was a noise to her left, a thud as if of someone landing on the ground. A sense of chill. Sara nearly looked, hoping for Laurel or Oliver, but the gun was still pointed at her and...

“Duck—and close your eyes!”

This isn’t the time to look a gift hero in the mouth. Err, something like that. Sara did as she was told, dropping to a knee and squeezing her eyes shut.

The blast of cold came from the left, so close to Sara’s face that she could feel the frost forming on her eyelashes. Somewhere, a corner of her brain registered that was new, that there wasn’t a super with ice powers in Star City, or none that she knew of. (Or that Felicity knew of, which was even more conclusive.) She heard yelps from the men and the crackle of what seemed to be ice, and braced for the crack of a gunshot...but none came. Just more thuds, as if of bodies falling to the ground.

“OK. You can look.”

Sara opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was the four men, all stretched out on the ground, all covered by a sheen of frost. A sigh of relief escaped her lips even as she flinched, wondering.

“Are they...”

“They’re just out...cold. You all right?”

Sara looked up.

The figure in front of her, extending a hand to help her up, was no one she’d ever seen before. Black pants, black boots…and then a blue parka over the top, fur-fringed hood pulled up over his head. His face was obscured by a pair of goggles, but a smile tugged at his mouth as he looked at her.

“It’s OK,” he said, keeping the hand extended. “I don’t bite. Unless it’s frostbite. Heh. Maybe that’s a potential name.”

Bad puns. Why did supers love them so much? Sara stared at him long enough that the smile fled, but he kept the hand held out to her.

Male, from the voice. And about her age, also from the voice. Sara frowned, trying to place it, but then took the offered hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

“Um,” she said. “Thanks. Really. I thought I had that, but...the gun...”

“I saw. You were badass. I just figured I should help out.” The tone was admiring. And he still had her hand. Sara looked down at it, noting that he also wore black gloves, but the super let go then, taking a step back courteously.

“You’re new,” she said, still a little shell-shocked. “Ice powers. That’s...new.”

“Yeah. Sort of.” The boy...man?...walked over to the four men and studied them. “I’ll alert the cops that they’re here. They’ll thaw out soon enough. We should get going...hey, wait!”

Sara had already turned away and started walking as fast as she could, not quite running. The super caught up to her easily, though, jogging along next to her, glancing her way.

“That was really impressive,” he said. “What...what’s your name?”

This guy, hero or not, was starting to annoy her. Sara frowned at him, although she kept walking.

“I said thank you,” she gritted out. “What do you want?”

“Just making conversation.” He almost sounded hurt. “Hey, like you said, I’m new. Thought maybe...”

“You thought wrong.” Sara took a breath and stopped. “Look. Iceman, or whatever your name is...”

“I think that one’s taken.” The drawl was amused. He smirked at her, an infectious expression, and she almost smirked back. But...she already knew far too much about two of the city’s main supers. She didn’t need, or want, to know any more.

“Thank you,” she said again, trying to project sincerity. “Truly. Now, I have to get home.”

He nodded, but didn’t move, the smirk fading into something more...wistful? Somehow it touched a chord, and Sara studied him a moment longer, intrigued despite herself. Then, cursing her curiosity, she turned and headed down the street.

And that jerk kept following her.

“I could see you home,” he said.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You are fine,” he retorted. “But I can still make sure you get there...”

“Goodbye, Iceman.”

A sigh. Then: “Goodbye, Sara.”

She whipped around, but he was gone already, apparently faded into the trees at the side of the street in one of those near-patented super moves.

Ass. Sara studied the trees, curiosity surging again, then turned and headed home as fast as she could, feeling the irritating sense of someone watching her the entire way. She made it in the door, slamming and locking it behind her, then dropped her backpack on the floor and closed her eyes.

She’d been rescued by the world’s most infuriating superhero.

Par for the course.

[betsonbetty-blog]

Now What? Part 6

I am so sorry this part took a lot longer than expected to be posted. The main reason being monday classes began again and I have been studying for the GRE which I will be taking on tuesday. That being said next chapter might also be a little later than usual. Hope you enjoy!

FF.com | AO3.org | Beginning | Previous | Next

Part 6

Adrien saw the time then continued to lay on his bed and looked around his old room. There was so much that had changed since he was last here. Adrien felt the familiar tugging on his chest as nostalgia took over. How he missed his parents. He understood, especially the day the twins came into their life, his father has never been a good parental figure. Hell. He recalled all the times he, not Chat Noir, but him Adrien had gotten stuck in between an akuma attack and ladybug. Style Queen was a perfect example of this. He couldn't understand how his father was ok with such things. If Emma or Louis had been in his shoes he would have died before anything bad happened to them. He wished for his children to meet his parents. If only mom hadn't disappeared. Things would have been different. Adrien used to think that after finding out Hawkmoth was his own father. However, he learned he wouldn't want to ever change it. It made him who he is, and it led him to the love of his life. A soft smile spread across his face. His little family that was soon expanding. He shot up at the realization that his younger self is probably head over heels at the moment. From the little bit of what he remembered, he knew that was exactly what was going on. A small chuckle escaped from his mouth. There was a knock on the door and then opened. "Adrien," Adrien stared at his father as he walked in. It took everything in Adrien to not cry and run to him. After Gabriel fled the country he had not heard from him. "How are your piano lessons coming along? I'd like to hear a couple of pieces," Gorilla moved the couch in the all too familiar position. Lucky for him he has learned to appreciate the piano and really hone his skills. He never pressured Emma or Louis to learn, but Emma loves to sit next him while he plays. Eventually, she expressed how she wanted to learn to be just like her papa.

Adrien stood a little straighter staring at his father. "I think you will be pleased with my advancements," he then sat in front of the piano. Notes in front, he knew the song all too well. One of the clearest memories he has of his time in the future was playing Fur Elise for Marinette and Emma. Memories of his family brought yet another smile to his face. He debated on closing his notes. By now it was muscle memory. He finally went against it, for young Adrien would kill him. He shifted a small bit trying to stall as he figured out how well he should play. Gabriel raised an eyebrow for Adrien to begin. The keys were soft under his fingertips.

By the end, Gabriel was impressed. "Very good, Adrien. I am glad you finally took the piano seriously. Continue practicing, I have business to attend to. I will be back tomorrow morning. Also, don't forget next week you start shadowing me," as Gabriel turned to leave, Adrien hugged him. Too soon the moment was over. He returned on his bed once the coast was clear. His cell phone vibrated next to him. Princess flashed on his screen. Be there soon love you. How naïve had he been in his younger years. Four years calling her princess, one and a half of which he insisted she was just a friend. That was something Mari definitely has always teased him about.

Marinette tied her hair back into her iconic low pigtails. She had thought it over and even if her friends see her as she is going to the Agreste mansion it is ok. Ladybug is missing Marinette is not. Nevertheless, she still didn't want to risk the possibility of exposing anything. She opened the hatch of her room and headed down to the kitchen/living room area. "Oh honey, I thought you were still with Alya. Did she go home already?" her mother's gray eyes looked up at her.

Marinette scratched her head. It had been so long since she had seen her mom look so young without any gray hairs. "Yes, she did," Marinette had an idea at that moment, "that reminds me. Adrien wanted to hangout. I'll be home later," Marinette thought about it more, "can we have game night tonight?"

Marinette really missed game nights with her parents. Ever since she became a mom and fashion designer she hadn't had a proper game night. Game night with her children was still fun, but they had their bed times. It would be nice to have an uninterrupted game. "Oh, that sounds fun. I will tell your father," Sabine made her way to the door that leads downstairs and turned around, "I almost forgot. Ladybug and everyone else have yet to capture the akuma. Please be safe. The fight moved a couple of miles away, but please let me know when you're with Adrien." Sabine then disappeared into the stairs. Marinette grabbed her old purse. She couldn't help to smile at one of her first creations. The purse brought back memories of first making it to carrying Tikki in it for years. There were so many chocolate stains inside from all the cookies it has carried. She walked to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of snacks. If she knew his father, she knew there are zero to no snacks in that household.

The Agreste Mansion was not too far from the bakery. She just had to make it there quickly. Luckily, she did. She pressed the familiar button and the camera came out. Nathalie's voice came through, "good afternoon Marinette, I will let Adrien know you are here. Feel free to come in," the gates opened in front of her. She knew her husband would rush to meet her.

Sure enough, she didn't even touch the door by the time Adrien opened it. Putting an arm around her waist and his other hand cupping her face, he pulled her into a kiss. When they pulled away he surprised her with a rose. "Every Princess should have a rose. My princess in particular deserves the world and more. My beautiful sublime exquis-."

Marinette gave him sultry look and interrupted him. "Ever the romantic, Chaton," she tapped her finger on his nose and winked. Adrien pulled her closer and a soft giggle escaped Marinette. "It has been a while since you called me Princess," she gave a smile that reached her eyes.

Adrien kissed the top of her head. "Only because we have another princess among us and you're my Queen, but right now you are princess," Marinette kissed Adrien with a little too much excitement. Had he not been expecting it, they would have fallen as they had so many times before. "Let's get inside," Adrien grabbed Marinette's hand and immediately intertwined fingers.

Once in Adrien's room, he ran got on couch making a motion to Marinette to follow. Marinette laid on Adrien as he wrapped an arm around her, "Adrien, I'm worried. Our younger selves are in charge of our lives right now. What if something bad happens?"

Adrien held on to her tighter, "we may not remember everything that happened, but we know us. Eighteen, twenty, twenty-four, doesn't matter, we are smart. Just have faith. In the meantime, how do you want to spend our anniversary?"

Adrien smirked and raised his eyebrows, Marinette knew that look all too well. She poked his sides, "you know we can't do that! Let our younger selves go at their own pace."

Adrien shrugged, "it was worth a try. Anyways, we don't have a real job right now and no kids." Adrien gave her a mischievous look, "how about we play some Ultimate Mega Strike V?"

Marinette's eyes narrowed at her husband, "you are so on! Let me text my mom really quick."

The clock read eighteen hundred when Marinette suggested Adrien to go with her to dinner and game night with her parents. Adrien was very deprived of basic parental love and throughout the years Tom and Sabine had given that and much more. He quickly jumped at the idea of spending the evening with his in laws. Adrien let Nathalie know he was going to be with Marinette and they went on their way. (A/N: I just had to say as I am writing this sentence I just imagine Nathalie stone faced but the moment they leave just super excited to see him with Mari. Ok Moving on.) They semi-rushed to the bakery to avoid being spotted, but alas their luck had run out. "Adrien! Mari!" Marinette recognized that voice a mile away. Alya was dragging her boyfriend and walking to her friends. Once she reached them Marinette noticed both her friends seemed off. Both Adrien and she knew why but played it off. "What are you two doing together?" Alya's eyes fell on their hands and winked at Mari while Nino did the same to Adrien with a slightly audible dude.

Both Adrien and Marinette laughed nervously, "I invited Adrien to game night with my parents."

Nino put his hands on Alya's shoulders, "come on Alya let's leave the lovebirds." No matter how old they got their friends teasing always managed to get the couple looking like tomatoes.

Sabine and Tom greeted Adrien as warm as always. He could tell they had just made dinner. He had a chef at the mansion, but nothing could ever compare to Sabine's cooking. Tom put an arm around Adrien's shoulder, "how have you been son?"

Every time Tom called Adrien son he couldn't help to give him a huge smile. "Thank you for having me tonight. I have been good. How about yourself?"

"Everything is good. It is nice to have you around," Tom and Adrien made their way to help the girls set up for dinner.

The night was filled with laughter and love. Tom and Sabine knew this was one of many first to come. Sabine called Nathalie to let her know Adrien would be spending the night. They looked over the two teens who had fallen asleep on each other. "Takes you back doesn't it," Sabine looked softly at her husband and made their way to bed.

[supersaiyansadie]

Other Lies Excerpt: The Zoo and the Pregnancy Test

I might set Past/Prologue aside and start re-editing this one 

Anyway! Here’s another excerpt from Allison’s story!

Enjoy!

Tag list: @editedandwrittenbyhannah and I nominated @thepotatowearsprada

to my tag list. (if either of you want of, let me know, ok?)

Length: 3000 words (roughly)

The next few weeks were hectic. I was able to pull my head out of my worries long enough to study for finals. Finals week fell two weeks before Maria and I’s birthday, so we started bugging Mom and Dad to do something special. We were turning 21 this year, a very special occasion if you liked alcohol. I wasn’t really a drinker, so it was just another birthday.

The campus sprung into bloom all around us. Flowers adorned every tree and bush that’d stand it. The campus lit up with color. Pink, blue, purple, you name it. The day of my Physics final, Coltin came into the room with a bouquet of freshly picked flowers for me. He hadn’t spoke to me in a week. I figured he was still a little pissed about what I said in lab. Still, we started talking again before the final. He asked me to go out with him after finals were over.

I finished off the semester, I felt, as strong as I’d started it. Sure, there was a bit of a bump in the road that had thrown me, but I got back to normal. Well… not normal. The nightmares were still happening with alarming regularity. Despite all my attempts to stave it off, I was still worrying myself sick. Most days, I ended up puking up my guts. I’d missed my period. I tried telling myself that I had just worried too much. Periods could be missed because of stress, right?

Maria dove into her studies more ferociously than I had. She’d been tripped up by what happened, too, but her classes were so much harder than mine. Intermediate Differential Equations, Intermediate Microeconomics, Linear Algebra, to name a few. I’d made the mistake of looking over her shoulder while she was working on her Differential Equations study guide. It was a math class, I knew, but I don’t think I saw any actual numbers. Just looking at it made my head hurt.

Maria was my best friend (don’t tell Jenna), and had been since we’d burst into this world, but I only just realized how much smarter she was than me. Still, she’d slacked off for a minute there trying to help me. Between that and how hard her classes were, she spent most of her home time during the last few weeks of the semester pouring over study guides and practice problems. Most nights, she fell asleep at the table, mid-problem.

Without Maria in the room with me, I couldn’t sleep. I don’t know how much of it was that we’d shared a room for forever and how much was the fact that I didn’t want to wake up from a nightmare and find myself alone. The last few weeks of the school year, I went to sleep in the living room. One morning, I woke up on the couch and Maria was passed out on the recliner. She’d covered me in a blanket before she crashed.

The week after finals, nearly a month after I woke up on the bathroom floor, I went back to the doctor for another round of tests. The day after, Mom and Dad surprised us with a birthday trip to the Memphis Zoo. Our birthday wasn’t going to be until the week after, but Mom and Dad both had grad students defending their dissertations on that day. The plan was for us to go out to dinner that night, but the trip had to be early.

I loved the zoo, let’s just get that clear. I loved animals of all shapes and sizes. Lions, tigers, snakes, spiders, it really didn’t matter to me. Except roaches. Roaches still bothered me, but every other type of animal was cool. Maria was not quite the animal lover I was. She liked the cute fluffy animals, but the creepy crawlies? Nah, she couldn’t stand them. It may have had something to do with how many times I “forgot” my pet tarantula in her bed when we were twelve. She ended up getting the last laugh. Peter (that was the spider’s name, Peter Parker) had gotten tired of Maria’s screams, I guess, cause one day he ran away. I was inconsolable.

So, the Tuesday after finals were over, the four of us got up early and climbed in the car. For once in my life, Dad let Maria and I control the radio. I think that was the first time the radio had left the oldies channel since the oldies were released. Maria put in her Christina Aguilera CD and sang along the entire trip. Every now and then, I’d join in on one of the hits, but most of the trip consisted of me staring out of the window, trying to quiet my thoughts.

Occasionally, out of the corner of my eye, I’d catch Maria give me a despondent glance. I knew she was worried about me, just like I knew my parents were. They didn’t press the issue, but they were keeping a closer eye on me. I had been hoping that once all my tests came back negative and I was in the clear that everything would settle down. I wanted things to go back to normal. Part of me knew that “normal” was a bit much to ask for, but maybe something next to normal would be sufficient for now.

I had been going to therapy every week, like Mom suggested. I was able to start vocalizing some of the things I’d been feeling, but I didn’t like therapy. I always left my appointments feeling worse than I did when I arrived. I told Mom that, and she nodded.

“It makes sense.” She’d said.

“It does?” I’d asked. “How’s that?”

“Well, if you were dealing with everything, you wouldn’t need therapy.” She had explained. “The only way to get better is to deal with things, which can be unpleasant. Ergo, if you go to therapy and actually work at it, you probably won’t feel great leaving your appointments.”

After an hour on the road, we pulled into the zoo parking lot. The front of the zoo had a beige archway fifty feet high, or so it seemed. Lining the walkway to the gates were larger than life animal facsimiles. I vaguely remembered the last time we came here. Maria and I were barely as big as the lion‘s paw. The realization that I was that small once unnerved me a little.

The zoo was packed. School was out for the year, and all the parents must have been tired of their kids already. I couldn’t get comfortable. Every time somebody walked past me, a chill ran up my spine. I hadn’t been around so many people since… I don’t even know. I kept glancing over my shoulder. Maria must have noticed cause she took my hand. I pulled it away. She frowned, but backed off.

“So, which way should we go?” My dad asked, once we were inside. Before I could answer, my cell phone rang. I held up a finger and hurried out of earshot. I could feel my family’s eyes on me.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hi, is this Allison Evans?” The lady asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Hi, Allison. This is Marietta Jackson from the Ole Miss Health Center.” She said. “I’m calling about the tests we did yesterday.”

“Yeah?” I asked. I looked back at my family. Maria was watching me. She fiddled with her charm bracelet. Mom and Dad were looking over the Zoo map, planning the day’s activities.

“I have your test results here,” She went on. “As for your STD screens, all the tests came back negative.”

The pressure around my heart released a little bit. No STDs. That’s good.

“And for the pregnancy test?” I asked, my heart in my throat.

“As for that one, that came out positive. Congratulations.”

Do you ever get those moments where it feels like the world stops around you? Moments where a second feels like a minute or an hour? That’s how I felt at that moment. Congratulations? I wanted to laugh, cry, scream, and curse all at the same time. That asshole couldn’t control himself and… now what? Pregnant… I was pregnant. What am I going to do? I pressed a hand to my stomach.

“Ms. Evans?” The nurse asked. I snapped my phone shut, and hurried to the bathroom.  I hesitated at the door, my heart fluttering wildly. I could feel his hand clamp down on my shoulder again. A woman pushed past me. I clenched my fist and went in. I barricaded myself in a stall.

It was supposed to be over. They were supposed to tell me I was negative for everything. I couldn’t be pregnant. How could this happen? I asked myself. I felt my eyes get hot. I choked the tears down. No. I told myself. I couldn’t break down now. I couldn’t be pregnant. I couldn’t be. Hail Mary, full of grace… Blessed virgin, please let this be a false positive. That happened sometimes, right?

“Allison?” Maria’s voice wafted through the bathroom, echoing slightly. I prayed that my voice wouldn’t crack.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Is everything ok?” She asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I lied. “I just… really had to go.”

“Was that-” I heard her moving around. After the noises stopped, she started again, softer this time. “Was that the doctor?”

“Uh, no. Telemarketer. They don’t take no for an answer.”

I pulled myself together, as best as I could, and joined my family outside. Mom and Dad had decided the best path to take to hit all the prime spots. Near the entrance area, there was a fountain spewing water into a small in-ground pool. A dozen children, or more, were splashing around in the pool, enjoying the beautiful weather.

How many of them are going to grow up and hurt others? I wondered. How many of them are going to grow up and get hurt? Beaten? Broken by somebody they weren’t aware existed? I looked over at the parents, standing in the shade of the nearby gazebo, taking pictures of their babies. How many of them wanted their kids at the point I’m at? How many want them now?

Maria jostled my shoulder, snapping me back to reality. She followed my gaze. She looked after Mom and Dad. After deciding that they were sufficiently far enough away, she turned back to me.

“It’s going to be fine.” She said. “Don’t worry. You’re probably not pregnant.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” She admitted. “I guess I’m just hoping.”

“Girls!” Mom called back. They were nearly a hundred feet down the path, already. “Hurry up, we’ve got a lot to see.”

“Just… try to enjoy the zoo.” Maria said. “Nothing you can do about it now, right?”

I nodded. Maria moved to grab my hand, but stopped herself.  We hurried after our parents. Mom and Dad wanted to get the creepy crawlies out of the way first, it seemed. They lead us to the insectarium and the reptile room first. Maria waited outside both sections. Despite my worries, I found myself grinning. I loved spiders and snakes and komodo dragons (though there were no komodo dragons here, I was sad to learn.)

“I still can’t understand how you can find those things cute.” Maria said, as Mom, Dad, and I exited the insectarium.

“I mean people find you cute, so…” I said.

“Hey, you look the same as I do.” She shot back.

“Really?” I asked, suppressing a smile. “Is that how this whole identical twin thing works? I’ve never been good at Bio.”

Maria giggled and stuck her tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes. After the insects, we made a bee line (no pun intended) for the Asia exhibit. I turned a corner and smacked into a woman.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” I said. She rubbed her protruding belly. “Oh. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She said, winking at me. “He’ll live.”

“How do you…?”

“I can tell. I don’t know how.” She said. “I just can.”

She flashed a smile, and headed off. She was so blithe about it. Sure, she was going to have a baby, but she was happy about it. I realized with a start that some people wanted babies. The concept seemed so foreign to me. I hugged myself, lost in thought.

“It’s a panda!” Maria squealed, seeing a panda. “Oh, my god, he’s so adorable.”

Future ruler of the world, ladies and gents. Maria, I’d learned in my 21 years of knowing her, was a strong independent young lady who had very few weaknesses. Cute things were number one. Any time she got within five feet of puppies, cats, squirrels, and babies she’d turn into a squealing, gibbering, mess of a girl.

Her eyes lit up as a smile broke across her face. For weeks now, she’d seemed so serious. Between stressing out about finals and worrying over me, her smile had been tainted with her troubles. She never seemed to let herself be happy any more. I’d started worrying about her. I’d never tell her that, though. She’d say I was being over dramatic. Still, seeing her in a moment of pure uncontained joy… It was refreshing.

When we were able to pull Maria away from the panda enclosure, we headed toward Primate Canyon. Everywhere I looked, little kids ran around, excited. Mothers pushed strollers through the walkways, every now and then bringing out the little ones to see an animal. I hugged myself. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Mom and Dad exchange a worried look.

Stop it, girl. I told myself. Stop ruining the day. I didn’t like people worrying about me on a normal day, but we came to the zoo to have fun. I didn’t want to kill the mood.

“So, Dad.” I started. “You know anything about gorillas?”

“A fair few things.” He replied.

“You know why they have such big nostrils right?” I asked. He shook his head, brow creased. “It’s cause they have big fingers.”

All three of them looked at me, bewildered. When it hit them, all the tension broke. Dad took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, groaning. Mom leaned against the wall laughing at my Dad’s expression. Maria rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her smile. I started laughing at them all. It was like a valve busted inside me or something. I’d been so stressed for the past month. Now that I was laughing, I couldn’t stop.

I kept giggling sporadically as we went through the monkey zone. When we got to the gorillas, I started laughing hard again. Mom put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. My muscles tensed up, but I didn’t pull away this time. Don’t make them worry. Dad kept giving me amused looks. Maria grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers.

Dad, not to be outdone in the horrible joke department, kept cracking puns all through the zoo.

“Never play poker with these cats, they’re all cheetahs.”

“Oh, my god.”

“…and so he said, with friends like these, who needs anemones?”

“Dad!” Maria groaned. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. “Stop encouraging him.”

“Why are Owls so lonely? They’re owl by themselves.”

“Mitch.” Mom chided, but she was grinning.

We finished the zoo around five o’clock and clambered into the car. We stopped for dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Maria and I took half the booth, the old people took the other half.  I sat sideways in the booth seat, my back pressed against the wall. I folded my leg under me. Dad excused himself to the bathroom not long after we’d gotten there. He returned a few minutes later with a couple of glasses of red wine. He passed one to me and the other to Maria.

“Well, you’re not technically of age, yet.” He said with a wink. “But don’t tell anyone, and I won’t.”

Maria sipped her wine and grimaced. “Oh god, that’s strong.”

Oh, please. I thought. Maria had always been a bit of a party girl. I highly doubted that this was her first time tasting red wine.

I grabbed my glass, but hesitated. I rubbed my belly. Isn’t alcohol bad when you’re pregnant? Mom and Dad were watching me. Maria looked over, and nudged me playfully.

“Come on. It’s not that bad.” She said. “I’m just a drama queen.”

I muttered something about needing air, pushed past Maria, and hurried out of the restaurant. Out on the patio, I leaned my back against the wall and slid to the ground. Why does my life suck? I thought. I pulled my knees to my chest. Maria came out a moment later.

“Hey,” She said. “You still worried about the pregnancy thing?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

“Look, you can have a glass of wine.” She said. “Besides, I doubt you’re pregnant. You got your period, right?”

I shook my head. Maria’s eyes went wide, but she kept her composure.

“Look, you can miss your period for a lot of things. It could be stress.”

“That’s what I told myself.” I said, my voice was barely a whisper.

“So, listen to yourself. You’re probably fine. When’s the doctor supposed to call?”

“He called already.”

“What?” Maria narrowed her eyes. “Is that the call? The one you got at the zoo?”

I nodded.

“And?”

I nodded again. Maria pursed her lips.

“You told me it was a telemarketer.” She said, her voice shaking. She squeezed her knee until her knuckles were white.

“Yeah.”

Maria got up and stormed inside. I felt a tear roll down my face. I wiped it away and forced the rest down. I couldn’t be weak. My family was waiting for me inside. Don’t ruin their day. I told myself. Don’t let them suspect anything. I sat there a few minutes. Finally, I got back on my feet and headed in to the table.

“Sorry about that.” I said. “Just got a little hot.”

Mom and Dad stared at me, all humor gone. Maria was nowhere to be seen. Shit. “Allison, is there something you want to tell us?” Mom asked.

[londone-fog]

Friday, Never Hesitate- Reddie Soulmate AU

AO3 Link

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

The next day, his mother told him to swallow a new pill. Oblong, slightly pink in color. It was bitter on his tongue, and he didn’t like it. The back pain went away after a couple of days.

But his Mama told him to keep taking them.

He didn’t want to upset her.

Chapter Four- Tuesday

Eddie hated chemistry. He hated it with every fibre of his being. Richie didn’t exactly make it easy on him either. He sat next to him in class, tapping his fingers against the edge of his desk, the repetitive noises drilling into his skull. He simply couldn’t focus. The teacher kept on droning and droning, and Eddie felt like his brain was going to explode. He ran his finger around the outline of his inhaler in his pocket, trying in vain yet again to focus on this class. Eventually, he leaned over to Richie, teeth gritted.

“If you don’t stop tapping your desk, I’m gonna shove my foot up your ass.”

“That a promise?” Eddie groaned in frustration, drawing the attention of the teacher.

“Mr. Kasprak, may I help you with something?” he asked, tone condescending in every sense of the word.

“No Sir,” Eddie murmured, looking down into his lap. Embarrassment burned hot under his cheeks, anger at Richie swelling in his chest.

“Now, starting with tomorrow, be will be talking about soulmates and how chemistry can be applied to them. How it plays a part in soulmarks and everything.” The bell rang just as he finished his statement, and dread couldn’t help but build up in Eddie’s gut. He hated it anytime anyone in his class would bring up the subject of soulmates. But that seemed to be the only thing people wanted to talk about, the only thing songs on the radio sang about, the only thing that showed up on movies and TV.

It was just a reminder that, even at 17, Eddie still had no soulmark, and by extension, no soulmate.

Richie jogged up next to Eddie as he exited the classroom, grin in place and hands fiddling with the straps of his backpack.

“What’s got you in such a tizz, Eds? That was pretty damn funny, if I do say so myself.”

Eddie mumbled a response, thoroughly agitated. Richie’s demeanor changed a little, his bravado halting and assessing the situation. He leaned a bit closer to Eddie so only he can hear.

“Is your back bothering you?”

Of course it was. It always was these days. The dull itch from his childhood had begun to morph into a low burn as he grew older, aching and raw at all hours of the night and day.

“I guess. I just feel like shit.” Richie nodded, deep in thought.

“Let’s go to lunch, yeah? I know I could use a pick me up.” Eddie nodded, allowing himself to be led outside to Richie’s car.

Richie’s car was truly something to behold. Bright orange, paint peeling from being exposed to the sun for too long. The pair climbed into the rickety vehicle, Eddie trying to ignore the flaps of seat upholstery that had peeled up and now poked at his legs. He didn’t want to imagine the amount of people who’d owned this car before Riche, or even the type of people they had been. Richie started the car, engine coughing to life and radio blaring whichever cassette they’d been listening to this morning.

Richie loved cassettes, and records, and just music in general. Eddie had boxes upon boxes of tapes his friends had made him over the years. Bev sent them from Portland, and she came up to visit them on holidays and for some time during the summer, always bringing tapes for the members of the loser’s club. Mike had only ever made one, Ben had made a few offhandedly, Bill a few more. But most were from Richie. Slipped into lockers, mailboxes, thrown through open windows, tossed into laps.

Thought you might like this.

And Eddie listened to them diligently, drowning out his mother’s cries and day-time TV with the loud drum crashes and guitar solos that Richie loved so much. It was all a little too harsh, but it stopped Eddie from thinking too hard while his headphones slipped over his ears.

Richie carefully maneuvered out of the parking lot, obviously being more safety conscious for Eddie’s sake.

“So what’s got your goat? You seem like something’s bothering you.”

Eddie brings his knees to his chest, scuffed shoes resting on the dashboard. He balls his hands in the hem of his sweatshirt, running his thumb along the seam.

“I just hate it when they bring up soulmates in class. It doesn’t even have to do with anything. You don’t need another person to make you happy.”

Richie gave a concerned sort of smile.

“I know that, Eds. Trust me, if anyone even has a little understanding of what you mean, it’s me.”

Eddie nodded. Richie’s mark was still just barely a whisper of a thing. There had been a few nights that he’d crawled through Eddie’s window in tears, fearing for whoever his soulmate was.

“I just wish there was something I could do. I’m the outlier. The .1% left on a hand sanitizer bottle. I’m tired of it.”

“I know Spaghetti Head, but think of it this way. At least you won’t be one of those ninnies who thinks their soulmate is the one and only person they need. You have friends who care about you, and that lovely mother of yours.” Eddie refrained from commenting on that last part. “What more could a guy want?”

“To not be ostracized in front of my peers.” Eddie murmured tersely. Richie gave another anxious sort of smile, patting Eddie on the kneecap. For once, he seemed to be at a loss of what to say.

-

Eddie once again sat in class, trying his best not to drift off into a deep sleep. Sure enough, his teacher kept true to his word. The board was filled with the chemical application of soulmates, from how the marks showed up to how the attraction of soulmates was unlike normal attraction. Eddie’s notebook remained empty. He was either uninterested, or already knew what the teacher would say.

He looked over at Richie, who for once took diligent record of the teacher’s lecture. He glanced back at Eddie, giving him the OK symbol with his fingers and raising an eyebrow. Eddie gave a sideways thumbs up. Richie grinned at him, attempting to elicit a smile.

It didn’t quite work.

Eddie thought back to the day he told his mother he didn’t have a soulmark. He’d been about nine years old then, sitting at the dining room table across from her, silent.

“Mama,” he said, oh so quietly. “Why don’t I have a soulmark yet? Everyone else in my class has theirs. They have for a long time.”

She paused, a thousand emotions running over her face.

“Well, sweetheart, you might not have a soulmate.”

“Oh.” The bottom of Eddie’s stomach dropped out of his feet.

“It’ll be alright. You don’t need a soulmate. You have me. A mother is better than any soulmate you could ever find. Eat your brussels sprouts.”

“Yes Mama.”

That night, he’d slunk up to his room, trying hard to ignore the irritated skin between his shoulders. He didn’t cry, too wracked with sorrow to let even an iota escape him. In that moment, he wished desperately that Richie was his soulmate. He was rowdy and sometimes annoying, but he was always at Eddie’s side when he needed help. He stopped people bullying him. He would be soft and understanding when the situation called for just that. They were best friends.

Eddie looked at Richie now. He still sometimes wished for just that.

“Mr. Kaspbrak.” Eddie jolted in his seat, facing the front again. The teacher stood, arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed.

“Since you seem to know everything about this unit, would you mind telling us what exactly animoprophen is and what it does?”

Eddie burned hot, anger bubbling under his skin. But, the word was familiar. It was a drug, one sitting in his medicine cabinet at home. One he took every single day since he was seven.

“Animoprophen is a drug, sir. It helps ease back pain.”

“Only half right, Mr. Kaspbrak. It is a drug, but it isn’t for back pain. Not even close.”

Eddie’s fists balled themselves up, his frustration finally spilling over the edge.

“Excuse me, Mr. Green, I don’t think that’s right. I’ve taken that drug everyday since I was seven. I was prescribed it for back pain.”

“Will someone please tell Mr. Kaspbrak what exactly animoprophen is for?”

A girl in the back raised her hand.

“Animoprophen is a drug given to people with dead soulmates. It makes the mark go away so they are at less risk of depression.”

“Thank you, Cynthia. You must be confusing it with another drug, Edward.”

Eddie knew he wasn’t. People around the classroom did not make their chuckles and whispers a secret, talking behind hands and glancing his way. He could feel his airways closing, breathing growing rapid, fingers becoming numb with static.

The bell finally rang, releasing him from this absolute nightmare. He sprang from his seat, racing into the hallway. He needed to go home, he was going to be sick, he was going to die.

He took mighty puffs from his inhaler, one after another.

One.

Two.

Three.

He didn’t stop. Not even when he heard Richie calling to him from the hallway.

-

Eddie lay in bed that night, examining the pill bottle he’d palmed from the cabinet an hour ago. The light from his lamp shine through the yellowish plastic, turning the pink pills within a sort of orange color. His mom’s name was printed on the bottle. How had he never noticed before? All his other medicine had his name printed on the label. But not this one. Not this fucking one.

He’d run to the pharmacy immediately after chemistry, not waiting up for Richie to give him a ride. Panting, he slammed his palm flat against the counter, drawing the attention of the pharmacist.

“I need you to tell me something,” he said through gritted teeth.

“What’s wrong Eddie. Out of your inhaler?”

“No. I have a question about animoprophen.”

The color quickly drained out of the older man’s face.

“Yes, of course. What is it?”

“My mother told me that it was for back pain. Back pain I’ve had since I was seven. But I was just told in my class just now that it’s to get rid of soulmarks? Explain.”

The pharmacist swallowed, obviously nervous.

“Yes, they are for soulmarks. They’re prescribed to your mother.”

“What about the other medication? is it even real? Am I taking things I don’t need?”

A pregnant pause swelled before them.

“They’re all placebos. Sugar pills. They don’t affect you at all. Except the animoprophen.” The pharmacist then looked above Eddie’s head at someone entering the store. Eddie turned to see Richie standing there, breathing a little heavily.

“Thanks. For everything,” Eddie said, turning back to the man before him. His words were sharper than an obsidian scalpel. He waited a beat before pushing a small display of brochures to the floor and turning to meet Richie.

“Let’s go.”

Eddie hadn’t confronted his mother yet. Every time he thought he might be able to, he couldn’t. It was his mother. How could she?

A loud thud sounded against his window, followed by muffled cursing. Eddie looked out to see none other than Richie. He also noticed a small crack in his window from the rock Richie has thrown. He lifted the pane, looking at his best friend.

“You’re going to break my window one of these days, Trashmouth.”

“Only if you break my heart first,” he crooned in a sing-song voice. Eddie smirked before racing downstairs to let Richie in, not caring that his mother lay sleeping in her chair.

Once they are safe in Eddie’s room, Richie released a barrage of questions.

“Okay, what happened at the pharmacy? You ran out of class, and so I followed you, and I find you going all bad cop in the drug store. And the amino-whatever? What’s that all about?”

Eddie let the confusion wash over him, again picking up the plastic bottle and running his thumb over the label.

“Animoprophen. It’s a drug used to get rid of soulmarks after your soulmate dies.” He holds up the bottle. “This is prescribed to my mom. She’s been giving it to me since I was seven.” He pulls his inhaler out of his pocket, throwing it across his room in anger. “All my medication is bullshit, Richie. It was never real. She’s been lying to me for nearly ten years. Ten years! That’s more than half of my life!”

Richie didn’t say anything, just rubbed small circles between his shoulders. Eddie leaned into the touch, grateful for the comforting touch.

“What are you gonna do, Eddie?”

“I dunno. Being in the same house as her makes me feel sick. Thinking about everything makes me sick.” He pauses. “I think she’s the fault I never got my mark. I think that medicine stopped it from coming in. It’s her fault. I have a soul mate out there who I might never find, because of her.”

Eddie was a gutted fish, a shattered window, a knife cut, a tornado, a raindrop. Open. Changed. Irreparably broken.

He did not cry.

Richie reached over and wrapped him in a rare embrace, resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. I feel like I should do something, but I can’t. I haven’t felt this powerless since we fought It.”

He pulled away, placing Eddie’s hands in his. He traced the scar on his palm, running his thumb over the raised skin.

“Do you want to stay at my house tonight? My parents won’t be there,” Richie asked quietly, and Eddie though he could sense just a little shyness in his tone.

“I dunno. My ma…”

“She shouldn’t control you anymore. Not after what she did. If you want to go, let's go.”

Eddie nodded.

As they walked down the stairs, Eddie felt his life moving in slow motion. He didn’t avoid the third step. His mother stirred, demanding to know what Richie was doing there, where they were going. She tried to stop them, opening her mouth to yell.

“Mom, I know that you did,” he says plainly, placing the animoprophen in her hand. “I’m going to stay at Richie’s house tonight.”

And just like that, calm as the eye of a hurricane, he walked out the door towards Richie’s car.

ANNOUNCEMENT: So, my amazing friend, who’s read this fic from the start, is turning it into a comic! Please go check her out at @sekiims 

Taglist: @anniewdoodles

[itscooltobefanficy]

Feeling Alive- Part 11

Summary: Dance school!AU (or the Step Up/Pride and Prejudice mash up nobody asked for). Bucky Barnes is forced to take twelve hours of commercial dance classes to pass the year- and that just happens to be your regular weekly dance class.

Introduction

Part 1 (Slow Hands)

Part 2 (Stay)

Part 3 (There Will Come a Time)

Part 4 (Weapon of Choice)

Part 5 (Came Here For Love)

Part 6 (Where the Sky Hangs)

Part 7 (When Can I See You Again?)

Part 8 (Manhattan)

Part 9 (Skip To The Good Bit)

Part 10 (Poison & Wine)

Clean

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Chapter 12/?: Clean

Word count: 2412

Warnings: swearing and ANGST

Just... YOU GUYS. I am utterly indebted to your enthusiasm and love. Thank you a hundred times. (Because TSwift is who she is, the version of Clean I linked is a cover, but you can find the original on Spotify).

Y: Hope you’re OK, despite the awful situation

Y: Give my best to Steve tomorrow

Y: Try to sleep as much as you can

Y: OK I’m hoping you’re asleep, good night

~~

Friday is your day off. You can’t decide if that’s good or bad. On the one hand, you don’t have to try to get through a day at work, with all that happened yesterday clouding the back of your mind- on the other, you have nothing to distract you from the horrible reality of the situation. You force yourself to get up and make a start on tidying your apartment. Anything to keep your mind from swerving back to the ugly bundle of Steve’s knee resting on stark white blankets, or the expression of hopeless anger on Bucky’s face.

Y: Hope you’re bearing up

Y: Try to keep eating etc.

You know that Bucky’s probably in class or at the hospital, so the fact that he isn’t replying doesn’t bother you too much. Instead you try to stay focused on the tasks in front of you: vacuuming, sweeping, rearranging your bookshelf until finally everything looks neat once more. Then you check the time and pick up the phone.

“Hey!” Wanda’s voice is strangely cheerful in your ears. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Wanda,” You answer, then take a deep breath. What do they say about bad news? There’s no easy way to deliver it. “Ah, it’s about Steve?”

“Steve? Is he OK?”

You silently offer thanks to Wanda’s preternatural talent for reading your voice.

“Um, no. Not really. He’s dislocated his knee.” Even just saying it, your words shake slightly with left-over shock.

“Oh, God. Shit. When did that happen?” You can picture Wanda’s face, creased with helpless concern.

“Yesterday,” You tell her, “I’m sure the Academy will be in touch but-”

“No, I’m glad you told me,” Wanda instantly reassures you. “Are you OK?”

“Bucky came to see me,” You say, slowly, unsure how to put what you’re feeling into words, “Then I went with him to the hospital… They’re all really-”

“I can imagine,” Wanda says, gravely. “Have you heard anything?”

“Nothing today. So far.”

“It’ll be OK. He’ll be OK.”

“Wanda, he’s not going to be able to dance again.” Your voice wobbles, unshed tears threatening once again. God, you’re sick of crying.

“Oh, God. Do you want me to come over?” Wanda’s offer is perfectly serious; she’s come across town for less before. But you can’t face dealing with such a concentrated outpouring of sympathy and concern. In fact, you can barely face dealing with anything at all. All you want to do is bury beneath the duvet and hope the day, along with all its misery, disappears before you next resurface.

“I’m OK,” Is what you say, rather than coming across as totally insane. “Thanks, it means a lot- but I’m OK. Just want today to be over with.”

“Yeah, OK. Just know I’m on the end of the line if you need me.”

Your heart swells with affection. “Thanks, Wanda.”

“Anytime. Look after yourself, yeah?”

“Will do. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Stay strong.” The line clicks off.

You drag in a few carefully measured breaths. The pressure on your chest eases slightly.

Y: I’m going to bed, know I’ve been saying this a lot but hope you’re OK

You eventually fall asleep with your phone face down on the floor, trying to switch off the tick of anxiety in your heart.

~~

On Saturday, you get a text at half eleven.

Hi Y/N this is Nat. Steve is out of hospital. Has yet to hit anyone with his crutches although I’m sure it will happen soon. We are safely back at the academy. Thanks for your help on Thurs.

Reading it, your heart momentarily unclenches- he’s out of hospital, in good spirits by the sound of it- but then, rereading it, a different kind of discomfort begins to well up inside you. Of course, you’re glad Nat has sent you an update; but why is Nat texting you? Nat doesn’t even have your number.

Maybe his phone’s flat. That’s what you tell yourself, and that excuse sustains you through the rest of the day.

Y: Probably building up a backlog of these but glad to hear Steve’s back safe

Y: Sleep well

~~

On Sunday, you cling to imagining a smashed screen, maybe dropped in the attempt to get Steve up those lethal stairs. The waves of doubt tug stronger and stronger, but you can still ride them out. One more day, you insist, one more day and he’ll text you. One more day and it will be fine. Just wait one more day.

~~

Monday comes, and there’s no word. At work, you’re flat and subdued- but after telling Lola what happened to Steve, she accepts that as enough reason for your mood and leaves you alone. You keep your phone in your bag the whole day, and when you unlock it to find a blank screen as you walk out of the library, you can taste the bitter sting of disappointment coating the back of your throat. But there’s one last option left. One last hope, one last maybe.

You tap Bucky’s number and hit call, then lift the phone to your ear. All he has to do is answer. Then you can put your fears to rest.

All he has to do is answer.

After the twelfth discordant ring, you slowly drop your hand and press your thumb carefully to the screen to end the call.

It’s still not over, a voice inside you insists, it still might be alright. He’ll come on Wednesday and make everything alright.

You try not to think of it as a fool’s hope, and carry on walking home.

~~

On Tuesday, you carry a hot, singeing coal around in your chest. It stings with each prod of your thoughts in Bucky’s direction, with every hesitant, anticipatory glance at your phone. Nothing seems able to dislodge it. You find yourself chewing your lip, fidgeting with your hands whenever they’re not occupied. Your mind won’t drop the why, the what’s happening, the is he OK, the did I do something wrong; until each worry is gnawed to splinters that jab and crack under your constant scrutiny.

That night, you convince yourself it’s not worth crying over, and force yourself to sleep, even as your thoughts run in endless circles.

Why?

What’s happening?

Is he OK?

Did I do something wrong?

~~

You’re strung as tight as wire through the hours of your Wednesday shift. When the clock reaches five, you seize your belongings, wave a quick goodbye and dart out the door. You spend the minimum possible time back at your flat- diving in, struggling into your workout clothes, grabbing your bag and dashing out again- before striding, with butterflies fighting in your stomach, down the road towards the bus stop.

You know you’re early- which is why you’re surprised to see Sam and Nat already waiting at the stop. Only Sam and Nat. Your stomach drops to rest somewhere on the pavement.

Still, at least you might get an explanation. You square your shoulders and hurry over.

Nat looks grim. That’s your first clue. Sam’s smile is forced, slightly uneven at the edges. You look from one to the other. “Are you OK? How’s Steve?”

How’s Bucky? You want to ask, but you keep a lid on that question.

“Steve’s OK,” Sam replies, “Not great, but he’s dealing with it.”

You nod, then force yourself to say it.

“Where’s Bucky? Is he-”

You don’t even know: OK? Better? Worse? Avoiding me?

Nat glances at Sam.

“What?” You ask. You’re trying to keep your voice light, joking, because it’s fine, right? Everything’s fine. But when Nat looks back to you, her face makes your heart sink.

“Bucky got an exemption from Fury,” She says, carefully, “This was supposed to be their last week anyway. They only had two more compulsory hours to complete, so he asked to be excused from attending the class.”

“Oh.”

Your mouth can’t manage anything else. What does that mean?

You stare at Nat, pleading wordlessly with her to explain. She grimaces slightly, then shifts her gaze to Sam. His eyes widen; then he looks at you, and his expression settles into something more sympathetic. He takes a deep breath.

“Don’t- don’t beat up on yourself, Y/N, but Bucky’s…”

He trails off, and your heart lurches.

“Bucky’s what? Is it Steve? Is it the auditions?” You’re losing the fragile grasp you had on your temper; your normal checks have been frayed by the crises of the past few days.

Sam’s face crumples up. “We think so. He’s just- sometimes he just puts the blinkers on and that’s it-” Sam reaches out, maybe reacting to the way your heart feels like its collapsing in on itself, and delivers the final blow with a rough kind of care in his voice, “- For everything else.”

You don’t need to ask anything more. You don’t even want to hear it; you can’t stand to hear the final nail being hammered in the coffin.

Everything else: everything us.

That’s it for everything else.

Your throat has closed up, but you refuse to cry here, in case Nat and Sam bear word back to the academy of your reaction. You’ll be goddamned strong. So, you swallow painfully and stare away down the street as you force down the roiling, sickening waves of emotion. Deal with it later, you tell yourself, right now, hold it together.

So you do. You hold it together through the bus ride, then through Wanda’s looks of concern as you prep for the class, and then through the class itself. So what if you perform the movements with all the feeling of a robot? If it keeps you from crying in front of everyone, it’s worth it. The two hours pass in both an agonising drag and the blink of an eye; all of a sudden the music has stopped and everyone’s filing off the floor. Wanda makes a beeline for you.

“Talk to me. Right now.” She gently takes your arm and steers you towards the corner. A black tide seems to rise in your throat at her words; you wrestle it down, but not before your eyes start stinging.

“Y/N?” Pepper appears at your shoulder, her delicate face pulled into a frown. “Are you OK? You seemed a little…”

“Sad,” Clint signs, striding up to your little huddle.

The black tide surges again. You frantically glance around the studio- but everyone else seems preoccupied packing up. Some are already heading out, waving to Wanda. You bite your lip.

“Um, I’ve got something to tell you all.”

~~

Fifteen minutes later and the four of you are sat on the floor of the studio. Pepper has her arm around you, Wanda is handing you her emergency sugar stash, and Clint looks thunderous.

“So,” You sniff, “I think that’s it.” Your voice shudders on the last word, but you push on. It’s nearly out, the whole sorry tale, and you’re already feeling a little lighter. Your hands keep up with your words, just about. “I don’t think my pride can take chasing him anymore.”

“Damn right!” Wanda says, indignantly, just as Clint begins to sign something else.

“Do you want me to go beat him up?”

You snort, but shake your head.

“He’s not worth it,” Pepper affirms, her face stern.

“He’s not,” You agree, ignoring the way your chest clenches at that statement, “I don’t even know why I’m so invested. Why I was so invested.”

Wanda shrugs. “Life’s a bitch, sometimes.”

“You’re not wrong.” You give a watery laugh. “Feelings are a bitch.”

Clint shrugs, then winks at you. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Remind me, how many dates have you had with Laura now?”

Clint shuts up, and the three of you laugh. Wanda springs to her feet.

“Come on, group therapy is closing for the night.”

You accept Clint’s hand up and manage a smile. “Thanks, guys. For-”

“Don’t mention it,” Pepper instantly replies.

“Any time,” Clint tells you.

“Absolutely.” Wanda pulls open the door. “Now, Pepper is going to drop you home in her fancy car, and I’m going to sort out our competition entries. Clear?”

“Chrystal,” You reply, then impulsively stride over and hug her tightly. “Thank you.”

“You’ll be fine,” She tells you, then presses a smacking kiss to the side of your head, “You’ve got us!”

Looking around at them, you actually believe her.

~~

Pepper does drive a fancy car. She runs her own start-up company, providing appropriate technical support to the city’s high-profile firms and organisations, and although she’s ever modest you know she’s very good at what she does. Her apartment is on the other side of town, near the financial district, so she normally carpools with Clint- but when Wanda issues an order, you don’t usually disobey it. So you hop in the back of her Mercedes without protest, and listen idly as she turns on the radio.

Oddly, you feel better for having sobbed your heart out on the floor of Scarlet Studios. The combined pressure of disappointment, sorrow and fury hasn’t disappeared; but it has eased. When Pepper draws up to the curb outside your flat a little while later, you lean forward in your seat and dangle your phone in your hand.

“What?” Clint’s sign is a little cramped from having to turn around.

Fuck. You don’t actually know the sign for erase. You instead give an apology and say, “Pepper? Can you erase Bucky’s number? I don’t trust myself to do it.”

Pepper twists in her seat and looks carefully at you. “Are you sure?”

You nod decisively. “I’m done.”

Done with bright blue eyes and dry laughter and a smile that simultaneously split apart and stitched back together your poor, battered heart. Done with sharp wit and stupid jokes and the gentle heat of swaying together to music that soared and seduced. Done with pouring all of your soul and care into someone who clearly didn’t want it. Done with waiting, and hoping, and hurting all at once.

Pepper clearly sees the certainty in your eyes. She takes your phone, swipes it open and you watch as she opens up your contacts and begins scrolling down.

Bucky (Dancing)

Delete this number?

With one tap of her finger, it’s gone.

AN: I’M SORRY WRITING THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SAD BUT STICK WITH ME LOVELIES (you’ll never go hungry again!). Sorry, Disney references are probably a side-effect of so much misery. The Pain Train trundles on! You know where to find me to shriek/cry/flail. Thank you again for your support <3 (P.S. Thirteen is finally finished. Haven’t quite decided if there are going to be one or two more parts before the epilogue- which you guys will decide on! So basically a few days until the next update. Stay strong <3)

Tag list:  @learisa; @vintagesaph; @debzybrazy; @madeofstarsdust; @beingcrushedbysociety; @plumsforbuck2016; @buckybabybaby; @seb-styles; @youtube-obsessed-duh; @casdoesntunderstandthatreference; @sunnycolors; @imthemishamigo; @themarvelousmaximoffs; @blonde0n; @smaug-the-homedog; @gabby913; @sexyashmike; @fuckinxqueenx; @velociraptorinae; @frnkensteingrl; @tattooideasforthefuture; @inlovewithnovels; @ipaintmelodies; @whimsicaldreaming; @olicia-leeshy; @xxamix; @xxblackteabinchxx; @v-ickie; @imnegativetillbepositive; @lilythelionflower; @witchinghour24; @hollycornish; @lucyvaughan-omg-; @thel0stpr1ncess; @kur0k1tsun3-blog; @siobhanrebecca; @thighs0fbetrayal; @ur-an-indiana-boy-sonny; @fungk17; @da363; @sorryidontspeakgrounder-world; @burtheimperium; @fandom-writes; @farawell; @dorisagent101; @ghostwriterfanfics; @avengers–marvel; @the-creative-lie; @ms-brown10; @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme; @marvelsavengersforever1227; @winchesterforever12; @stomachfilledwithbutterflies; @fictionwillneverdie; @basicwhiskeyprincesss; @tortadigranchio; @supikasia; @moonandstars-xo; @greengrassdiaries; @jiminera; @irreplaceablevogue; @jechloandhyde; @damagelove; @schaart; @satansknittingclub; @scentedcoffeefire; @brooke-supernatural16; @sarahmichelle5; @dreeams-unwind; @damnbuckyishot; @thestuffyouwant; @obliviousheaven; @moist-bread1234

Part 12

[newstfionline]

After the quake: For Mexico’s children, ‘back to school’ means a chance to heal

Whitney Eulich, CS Monitor, October 2, 2017

MEXICO CITY--The 9- and 10-year-olds, all wearing matching sweater vests and cardigans, are sitting in a semicircle inside the A Favor del Niño primary school, talking. The subject is bravery.

“A lot has changed in our personal lives, and if you want to cry, that doesn’t make you any less brave,” their instructor tells them on a recent Thursday morning. “Even adults have been crying over this.”

Ten days prior, a 7.1 earthquake rocked Mexico, leveling some 40 buildings here in the capital, including one primary school, and killing more than 330 people nationwide. Most of the city’s roughly 9,000 public and private schools remain closed, and officials say it could take up to two weeks before they’re given the all clear.

Many students--and parents--are eager for schools to reopen. But there’s a catch: The quake hit at 1:14 p.m. on a Tuesday, while kids were in class. So while reopening schools represents a welcome return to routine, it also means a return to ground zero. In response, educators, principals, parents, and NGOs across Mexico City are exchanging materials on how to talk about the quake with their children, how to assuage fears--and how to get back to work.

“We knew that once kids returned [to school], their last memory here would be the quake,” says Noe Gonzalez, the co-director of A Favor del Niño primary school. Some 146 students evacuated from the 1940s-era building into a small concrete plaza on Sept. 19, then out a gate and up a hill to street level, trying to keep their balance as the ground undulated beneath their tiny feet.

“It’s important to close that emotional loop,” Mr. Gonzalez says of revisiting the quake on the first day back to school.

Therapists’ tents that have popped up in parks and at the sites where buildings collapsed speak to one way people are trying to do that, with counselors and psychologists essentially putting out their shingle and offering free services.

Ana Luisa, a domestic worker, watches her 6-year-old daughter Ana Maria coloring on large sheets of paper beside a therapist tent in Parque España, on a recent afternoon. She asked not to use her full name because she uses her employer’s address to enroll Ana Maria in a better public primary school. She ran to the school the moment the earth stopped shaking on the 19th and found her safe, but the days that followed have been tough.

“She won’t go to the bathroom by herself, she won’t go into any room by herself,” she says two days after the quake. Ana Luisa messaged her daughter’s teacher on Facebook for advice. “She told me to keep the news off when Ana Maria’s in the room and to avoid streets where buildings fell,” she says.

“Sometimes I worry the quake broke my daughter, too,” she says, wiping her forearm across her teary eyes.

Still, says Dora Giusti, the chief of protection with UNICEF in Mexico, children are particularly resilient and adults can help children tap that inherent capacity for recovery when processing the events of that day. The organization has been working with teachers in the southern states of Chiapas and Oaxaca, where an 8.1 quake hit Sept. 7, to prepare them for the return of students. They’re also sharing materials on social media and with the government to help teachers and kids to deal with the disaster.

At Al Favor del Niño, the courtyard is filled with laughter and happy screams during recess on the first day back. Kids kick rubber balls, gather around board games, and a few are busy tying their sweaters together in what appears to be an elaborate game of make-believe.

“I’m so happy to be back,” says 10-year-old Carolina Garcia Guerrero. “I think that, even though my house isn’t in a bad state, I feel safer here at school,” she says. It’s “because my friends are here.”

The quake hit on the 32nd anniversary of Mexico’s 1985 temblor, which left thousands dead and flattened hundreds of buildings. “In some ways, it was a good day for an earthquake,” says Susana Vargas, a fifth-grade teacher. The entire school went through an earthquake drill earlier that morning.

“Yes, there were some students crying and panicking, but I was so proud to see that they knew exactly what to do,” she says, describing how they had their hands on their heads, protecting their necks, and were calm as they marched up the hill to their final evacuation point.

Before reopening the school, the staff here came together to talk about their own experiences with the quake. “Some teachers cried, they expressed their fears. Then we started sharing material,” says Gonzalez, one of the school’s co-directors.

That included a book, adapted from Chile, where quakes are also a regular occurrence. Some classrooms showed videos about the science behind temblors and Mexico’s susceptibility to them. The fifth-graders listened to a song about disasters and hope, and picked out their favorite lines to share with the group.

“And you will see how this world changes, when without fear you open your door at last, and keep your light on, however small,” one popular lyric read.

A group of third-graders gathered after recess to receive letters of support and encouragement sent by children from across South America, also part of the Teach for All education network of which the school is part.

One student is overjoyed as she unscrolls a rolled-up letter, revealing a flag and the words “Fuerza Mexico,” or Stay Strong, Mexico. “Ohh, que lindo, [how beautiful],” a little boy cries out while unfurling his note.

Angela, whose face is framed by hot pink glasses and missing front teeth that reveal her age, says that the cards were written “so that we won’t feel sad or scared.” Asked if it’s helped, she says yes.

“Don’t worry, everything will be OK,” says 9-year-old Emiliano Garcia Barrera, sharing his advice for other kids who might experience something similar. “Sooner or later, your fear will pass,” he says, noting that he was very scared, but didn’t cry.

“It won’t last all your life. And if you can make jokes and laugh, it will help you a lot.”

[xiajin]

fuck it. j answer this 1. meet ugly where jungkook is a ceramic arts major and yoongi comes in to pick up one of his friends pieces and accidentally knocks over this one that jungkook worked for an entire month on right in front of him,,, so yngi has to make it up to him in some way

i know very minimally about pottery 

lapis lazulisugakookie; potter!jungkook

/

when yoongi gets to the pottery workshop, he doesn’t really expect to find anyone. for one thing, namjoon had told him that there would be no one there so late at night; secondly, because namjoon said that the workshop that he used in particular is almost always closed. it wouldn’t have been if seokjin hadn’t left it open with the express purpose of namjoon getting his work back. something about it being a pain to look at in his workshop. 

namjoon needed to take some sort of arts class to fulfill requirements for his graduation, and he had taken a pottery class because of yoongi’s senior and quite hard-to-get-close to friend, seokjin. apparently namjoon held his awkward crush for seokjin and thought that taking a class that seokjin helped assistant would help them get closer.

the most disgusting part is that it did. yoongi shakes his head; namjoon had asked him earlier that morning to get his…pot? for him? because he was afraid of going in the drying racks by himself. seokjin warned him extensively on not breaking anything, and namjoon - well, namjoon’s got long legs and arms that he sometimes can’t control. 

that’s why yoongi doesn’t expect the airy voice going, “who’s here?” sharply from behind him. 

yoongi ends up stumbling a little, moving back from the rack that namjoon had explained was his cooling rack, and so yoongi needed to check there, and - and he hits something behind them. the light flickers open and yoongi swerves around to see someone standing at the door along with the sight of something tipping over and - 

“no!” the guy at the door shrieks - actually shrieks, yoongi thinks he hears his voice go up an octave - and lunges for whatever is dropping. yoongi only sees a flash of royal blue before it shatters on the ground into a million pieces. 

the guy gets to his knees, dressed in an apron and paint stained jeans, his eyes wide and disbelieving - he’s got huge eyes that only get larger with that sight in front of him. his hands are out in front of him like he’s not quite sure what he’s supposed to do. 

“um…s-sorry?” yoongi starts, feeling something unpleasant crawl down his back. the silence suddenly is something tragic and oppressive; he doesn’t know how else to explain it. 

“my project,” the boy whispers, touching the shards of the broken pottery on the floor almost tenderly, turning over the spots of color with gentle hands, “i - i worked on that for a month.” 

yoongi swallows. he shuffles a little, definitely feeling guilty, unsure of how to answer. 

“it’s - it’s - “ he yelps, then, and one of the shards drops from his hands; yoongi sees a spot of blood on the floor and gets alarmed. 

“whoa, kid, you got cut - “ 

the boy moves back and looks up at him, glaring. “you! what are you doing here? the workshop is only open until seven; after, if you’re not one of the managers, you’re not supposed to be here!” he snaps, but his eyes look a little shiny, and his bottom lip is trembling, almost like he’s about to cry in frustration. 

“i - “  yoongi coughs. “i came to? pick up? one of my friend’s works? listen, i’m really sorry - “ 

the guy grimaces and clenches down on his finger with a pocket handkerchief that was in one of the pockets in his apron - he’s wearing a red one - when he looks at yoongi, he seems like he only wants yoongi to leave. “take it and go. be careful when you leave,” he adds listlessly afterward, and his face is so closed off and upset that yoongi nods and says nothing else, just backs up a little bit and makes sure that he says a good arms length away from all the racks of projects. 

even though he’s close to the door, he turns back at the last second - holding namjoon’s ugly pot in his hands, god, the thing is lopsided - to see the boy from before, leaving over the broken shards on the ground and slowly picking them up one by one. yoongi notices they glitter and gleam with a holographic effect when the light glints on them ever so slightly, and then wonders how long something like that could possibly take. they’re a rich lapis lazuli blue, with streaks of other grayslate colors that give it an almost middle eastern look. the boy has his apron raised out to create a little well that he’s gathering them all in. 

yoongi spots another cut, but the boy simply takes out a bandaid from another pocket - a common occurrence? - and wraps it around his finger in one quick movement. he continues to carefully pick up all the shards, and yoongi - hears him sniff, sees him rub an eye with a closed fist. 

he ends up sighing, looking down at the bullshit that namjoon did in class, and sets it down on the countertop before heading toward the kid. he’s wearing inside shoes while yoongi has on boots, so his feet don’t hurt at well when he comes close. the kid looks up at him and yoongi feels - alright, he feels fucking guilty when he sees extremely faint tear tracks. 

“i said you could go,” the boy says, but it doesn’t sound rude, just sort of desperate, like he wants no one to see him this way. 

yoongi is good at words, but sometimes he’s bad at making sure they come out of his head. instead of apologizing again, he reaches forward and starts helping the ardent task of picking up the pieces. 

on the second piece, he cuts his hand and winces. the boy across from him snorts and pushes his hand away. “don’t,” he mumbles. “they’re sharper than normal. i’ll finish picking it up, ok?” 

“it was my fault,” yoongi says, “it’d be shitty if i didn’t do anything to at least help.” 

the kid purses his mouth, looks down at the shards gathered in the well of his apron. he has long lashes, yoongi notices. 

“there’s nothing you can do,” the other says, resigned. “please, just…” 

yoongi knows when someone wants to be left alone, so he nods tersely and…gets up. waits a little, but the boy doesn’t move. feeling his footsteps move heavier, he leaves.

he doesn’t forget about that boy in the next few days; he can’t. it reminds him of how he used to stare at the computer screens in his studios, haggard and tired, waiting for something to finish. 

in the end, he doesn’t know what else to do but come back to the pottery workshop during the day. he feels dumb - his classes are already done, and he doesn’t even know the kid’s name, doesn’t even know if he’s here at this time, but - 

someone looks at him weirdly, and yoongi scratches the back of his head. “um, sorry, i was looking for someone?” 

the kid, a brunette with strange green streaks in his bangs, gives him a smile. “sure, sunbae! who ya’ looking for?” yoongi stalls at the familiar drawl of a daegu accent in the kid’s voice. in that time, someone calls out from behind them: “tae-hyung!” 

the voice is familiar, with it’s almost unforgettable airy quality. yoongi shifts his eyes and sees the boy from before with hands stained in red paint. he blinks, somehow looking like he recognizes yoongi as well. 

“oh,” yoongi says, his mouth dry, and the guy - tae-hyung? - blinks. “i, uh.” 

“do you still need help looking for someone? sorry, jungkook, i was just helping this sunbae out!” 

“no, i’m,” yoongi stalls, shrugging, looking uncomfortable. 

“hyung, i think he’s looking for me,” is all the boy - jungkook - says, and when his friend raises his eyebrows, he shoos the other away. then it’s just them left, standing at the door, yoongi scratching the back of his head. 

“listen, i,” he starts, clearing his throat, “i really am sorry about that shit that i did. it was by accident but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a crappy thing that happened because of me, so.” 

jungkook wrings his hands together, and yoongi can’t help but notice that he has such nice fingers; slender. “i’m..it’s fine. i - well, it’s not really, because it was my final project but...i can make another one.” 

yoongi wants to say a lot of things: that putting your everything into something and then having it break in front of you is never something that’s easy, that wanting to look at something and see it blossom only to see it die is painful. putting your all into everything only to see it ... break? no, it’s not okay. no, even making another one doesn’t erase all the pain of having your hard work wiped away. 

“let me help,” yoongi says, closing his hands in a fist inside his pockets. “i know jack shit about pottery, but...i dunno, i could get you stuff, hold things while you’re working, that kind of stuff. i’m always free during this time on mondays and tuesdays.” 

for a while, jungkook just looks at him dumbfounded. yoongi didn’t notice before, but he’s kinda cute, with his fluffy hair and pink mouth. 

“um,” jungkook starts, stepping back a little, “no one’s ever...” 

yoongi shrugs. he’s embarrassed too, and no doubt his ears are red. 

“...thanks,” jungkook finishes softly, and when yoongi steals a glance at him, he’s got a soft smile that makes him feel - strange. “i’d...that would be nice.” 

yoongi nods. “no...problem.” 

he might - well, he might have a problem if jungkook keeps smiling at him like that. 

[ecotone99]

[HR] Coincidences

Let me start out by saying I don’t believe in psychics. Nothing is pre-ordained. Everything is random. At least that’s my opinion. That being said, there have been a few crazy coincidences in my life. I never thought much about them until I connected a few from my childhood.

My coincidences started in kindergarten. More precisely, the day before my first day of kindergarten. I was excited about making friends so I barely got enough sleep that night. The little bit of sleep I did get came with a dream. I was running around on a playground next to a boy. He had dirty blonde hair and he was built like a rectangle. He had a sticker name tag that read: BILLY. I tripped over a rock and Billy helped me up. After I thanked him, I woke up.

I got dressed, headed downstairs, and waited for my mom to take me to school. She was a little late getting up, but it didn’t matter. Who’s going to get mad at a parent on their child’s first day of school? When we pulled up to the school, I kissed my mom goodbye and ran inside. I found my teacher and told her my name. She gave me a sticker name tag with my name written on it. It looked like the kind of name tag that Billy was wearing in my dream. Later in the day, the teacher told us we were going out to recess. She warned us to watch where we were walking because there were tree roots and rocks sticking out of the ground. If there were rocks and roots on the playground, I could trip and fall. Just like in my dream.

After the warning, we went outside. The school’s playground was the exact playground from my dream. I looked everywhere for Billy but I couldn’t find him. I was going to give up hope, until the recess doors opened and the other kindergarten class came out. The line leader for the other class was Billy. He looked exactly like he did in my dream. The clothes, the hair, the name tag, even the whole “human rectangle” thing. I introduced myself and asked him if he wanted to play. We played around the swings which were next to huge tree. Billy yelled for me to watch out for a huge root I was about to trip over. I avoided the root but I didn’t see the huge rock right next to it. I tripped over it and face-planted on the ground. Billy grabbed my arm and helped me up. I thanked him and we went back to playing.

When I got home, I told my mom I was psychic because I predicted meeting my new friend. That’s when she taught me the word “coincidences” and what it meant. She said I probably met Billy at the orientation and forgot about it. She said I probably saw the playground out the window during orientation and forgot about it as well. I was so disappointed that I wasn’t psychic, the next day of kindergarten, I told Billy that I didn’t want to be friends anymore.

The next coincidence occurred in the third grade. I had a dream that Billy was standing next to a man in front of a restaurant. I didn’t know who the man was or what restaurant they were standing in front of. All I knew was that the restaurant was right next to the town’s only Walmart. The man was crying as he put up an OUT OF BUSINESS sign on the front door. Billy hugged the man as he cried and said “It’s ok”. I woke up and got ready for school after that.

I got to school and went to the gym to wait for my teacher. Billy came in a few minutes after me. He looked like he had been crying. He sat next to his friend Jimmy and I eavesdropped on their conversation. Jimmy asked “What’s wrong Billy? You look like you’ve been crying.” Billy said “My daddy lost his restaurant.” Jimmy told him he was sorry to hear that and then asked what restaurant Billy’s dad owned. Billy said “He owned a Ruby Tuesday.” There was only one Ruby Tuesday in town and it was next to the only Walmart.

I was freaking out. I had another dream that came true. When I got home I told my mom that there was no way it was just a coincidence. I had to be psychic. I predicted a man losing his restaurant. She calmly said “Baby there is no such thing as psychics. There is an explanation for everything. Maybe you heard Billy talking about his dad’s restaurant before and in your dream, you saw the restaurant closing.” She was really convincing. My hopes of becoming a psychic one day were shattered again. I decided that if I ever had a dream like that again, I would keep it to myself.

It wasn’t until the fifth grade that I had the worst experience with a coincidence ever. We were doing our yearly tests so I was very stressed out. That could be the explanation for the craziness of my nightmare. Not a dream this time, definitely a nightmare. In the nightmare, I saw a man walking behind two women. It was dark so I couldn’t see the man’s face. I saw the faces of the women though. One looked to be in her 30s. The other looked like a teenager. The man kept getting closer and closer to them. By the time they realized what was going on, it was too late. The man pulled out a knife and stabbed them both in their throats. Their blood began to pool onto the sidewalk they were walking on as they died. The teenager’s blood trailed over to a building next to the sidewalk and the red met the ugly light green of the building’s outer wall. The man ran away with the knife still in his hand as I woke up.

I found myself screaming and crying out for help from the darkness of my bedroom. My mom ran into the room and turned on the light. She asked me what was wrong and I tried to tell her about the man and the two women and the blood. I guess I was still groggy and not making much sense because she quieted me down and told me I should go back to sleep because it was just a nightmare. Two things were very clear in that moment: 1. I was not going back to sleep after that and 2. My bed was wet.

I was a wreck at school the next day. I couldn’t stop thinking about the nightmare. Before it was time to go home, Billy showed up with his dad. The principal allowed him to talk to his friends one last time. Apparently, he was moving to a different state. He didn’t say why but I assumed his family was having some sort of trouble.

A week later, I was staying at my uncle’s house. I was watching some cartoon when my uncle (out of nowhere) burst through the front door and took the remote from me. He was breathing really heavily. He turned to the news, told me to be quiet, and sat down in his chair. The news anchor began a report of a multiple homicide that occurred next to some thrift store in town. A mother and her daughter were found dead. They showed a picture of the store and it was the same ugly green color as the building from my nightmare. The victims were identified as “Jane Smith” and “Jenny Smith”. Obviously I can’t use their real names. My uncle started to hyperventilate. Apparently he was friends with Billy’s dad and the two women in the news report were his ex-wife and daughter. My uncle always told the kids in the family things that they probably shouldn’t know. This time was no different. He told me that a month before these murders, Billy’s parents got divorced and went through a custody battle. Billy ended up staying with his dad and his older sister ended up staying with his mom. “How unlucky can one man be?” asked my uncle.

As a kid I saw no correlation between these events. As an adult however, I realize it is entirely possible that Billy’s dad had planned to murder his ex-wife and daughter. That would explain moving to a different state. That doesn’t matter though, the murder was never solved.

The reason I connected these events is because recently, I have been having the same nightmare over and over again. As an adult, my nightmares don’t frighten me as much as they did when I was a child. Nevertheless, they are still very disturbing.

In the nightmare, I am lying in my bed when suddenly, I hear a crashing sound coming from downstairs. I turn on my bedroom light and look around the room for my phone in case I have to call the police. The phone is nowhere to be found. I still have an alarm clock just in case I need to know the time. The clock reads: 3:00 AM. Just my luck, the witching hour. I open my door and head out of my room very quietly. I tiptoe down the hall until I get to the top of the stairs. I look down the stairs and see that my front door has been broken open. There is someone dressed all in black rifling through my living room. They’re most likely looking for valuables. I see my phone sitting screen-down on the side table next to my couch. I’m not going to risk my life over some stuff, but if they come upstairs, they might just kill me anyway. I come up with a plan. I’m going to wait until the intruder has their back turned, creep down the stairs, grab my phone, and quickly lock myself in the closet next to my couch so I can call the police. When the burglar turns around, I creep down the stairs and grab my phone. I’m just about to open the closet door when the burglar turns back around. They see me. They pull out a gun. They fire it. The bullet hits me in the chest and plants itself deep in my heart. I drop my phone in surprise and collapse backwards onto the bottom steps. The burglar walks up to my body very slowly. There is something incredibly familiar about the body and head of this intruder. Something rectangular. I realize I know him. I know that he is a male. He bends down and looks me right in the eyes.

With my dying breath and the last of my strength, I reach up and pull his mask up a little. I guess he realizes that I’m about to die so it doesn’t matter whether or not I see his face. I finally get the mask completely off. In that moment, before I die in the nightmare, and before I wake up in real life, I realize something without a shadow of a doubt. The face I’m looking at is the face of Billy.

submitted by /u/Zeldalink15 [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/31Yqc3S

[alittlebutofeverything-blog]

The only thing that hurt were their words

When i'm at school i’m happy until he talks to me and puts all these thoughts in my head telling me in to fat  and that no one likes me so when I go home I cry for hours until I killed myself .Well you might want to know who I am my name is Charlotte lee Rose and i’m 15 . I went  to mayfield middle school I was in the 9th grade and this is why i killed myself. This all started when I was dating this boy named William Carter and Me and his sister where best friends and she was ok with us dating she just thought it was a bad idea her name was Elizabeth Victoria Carter I called her lizzy and we meet in the 6th grade but we didn't become really good friends till 7th she is very kind and happy always .Well back to the story me and William were happy and I loved him so very much and when i was around him I got butterflies in my stomach But then Lizzy told me he was texting other girls so I asked him and He told me I was a psycho bi***  and dumped me and that broke my heart I cried and cried but then I realized that it was him not me so I texted him and said your right im PSYCHO and he better watch out well that when over real well he told his sister and she told me a** and in my mind I was like I will but what I said was i'm telling his mom that he said the and lizzy said telling her what that william called you a psycho and you told him to watch out not very smart and I said eh probably not i'm the only one who threatened anyone .The nexts day was monday so I walk into school and see william and Paisley Reed the dumbest girl I know and is kissing William right in front of me .What do I do I find Michael Hall aka the best kisser ever and guess what I did I kissed him it was great and william looked at me and get really mad because michael is his best friend and I just kissed him .That glory was short lived me ,Michael ,paisley , william and somehow lizzy got sent to the principal and got detention for as mrs.baker said sharing our spit and lizzy was in their to get an award for best student she tried to get me and michael out of it she got us from 2 days to 1 so she kinda helped .I whet class and it came time for school to let out and me go to detention and I got to the detention and realise the detention teacher is lizzy and williams mom so we all had to clean the bathrooms and all the classrooms and it was gross but i'm just glad I don’t have another day .Today is tuesday and michael asked me out yesterday at 11;11 and I said yes so this morning I got up and put this really cute crop top on and dark blue holed jeans and my white converse and curled my hair and i'm walking to get on the bus and i see michael in his black corvette waiting with paisley and william sitti in the back seat lizzy in the front  little did I know michael askd her out last night and she told him to tell me to ride with them in the morning and little did she know that he asked me out so i look down at my phone and see I have a texted from michaels that says I can't date you right now sorry don’t say anything I will make it up to you later so I got in I sat in the front right beside lizzy .When we got to school lizzy told me her and michael were going to go get ice cream and sh say michael could  take me before so I didn't have to ride the bus I said no that I didn't want to take away from their date .That afternoon alexander finn texted me and told me I was fat and ugly and a slut and I replied ok and that made him made so he posted it on twitter with the text I had sent to william when we were dating which of course had nudes and plans my mom seen and told williams mom and we had to go volunteer at the dairy farm for two weeks everyday it was disgusting I wanted to die.Two weeks passed and me and william never spoke again .Michael dumped lizzy and asked me out I said yes which made izzy mad and she told me that we couldn't be friends so we were’ nt and I was ok for like the first hour then i broke up with michael and told her that but she seal didn't want to be friends .Today is friday and this is the day me and lizzy would go get a pie and eat all of it but instead she told the whole school that she never wanted to see me again and that I sleep with her brother in their moms bed which did happen but no one was supposed to know now everyone at school told me I was useless and stupid and need to die I don't think anyone thought I want kill myself but I did . I want them all to know that it's their fault to.

By Cami Jo Ray

This is not a true story its but it could be and it could happen to you so u need to watch what you say and so bc its could turn around and bite you in the butt

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. it’s 10:30 instead of 10 when i am starting this post.

i stayed up until midnight last night because i am REALLY COOL!!! then i got up at 7:40. 

i know why my dreams keep feeling so weird when i wake up. it’s because it’s an hour later than usual so the sun is directly in my face and it feels like i got up late. my dreams are me yelling at myself to get up because i am late for school. then it’s 7:30 in the morning when i do wake up.

there was something about the one last night though. dang it. i have too many things going on. can’t remember stuff that happened overnight. they might be loosely based on the bedtime stories i’ve been listening to now that i think about it though. 

the other night i was flying... i was a bird. i guess? only some of the time. i was in a house and there was a cat. i got out through the garage i think. i didn’t know what to do with myself after that though.

lately i’ve just been wanting a hug but i don’t think i’m going to get that. and if it happened in real life i wouldn’t be very happy about it.

i taught my class this morning. it went fine i think. i talked to one of my students about the grading system since he was the last one to leave. they all finished like ten minutes early so i got a nice break before my office hour. 

i felt like i couldn’t build up any momentum all day though. i went to the care area appointment i had to work on the medical drop and they told me my appointment had been scheduled for yesterday. i mean maybe i said monday? but i’m pretty sure it was tuesday because that’s what i had written down directly after the phone call, and also, the monday appointment would have been in the middle of my office hour, which doesn’t make sense.

so i was turned away. but the lady at the front counter gave me some directions regarding dropping a class so i filled out that request when i got back to the department and got that turned in. i’ve done... basically everything i can do right now. i’m still stressed. now my appointment has been pushed back for two weeks so there’s going to be less than a week before the deadline by the time i do actually see someone whose job it is to do these things.

at coffee cookie time i was so ready to have A Conversation with samantha about the “cute” thing but she never called me cute. so i had all this energy and riled-up feelings and nowhere to put them. i felt... put out. like maybe i should just never do anything about my situations and i guess they will magically resolve by themselves? because preparing what exactly i wanted to say ahead of time to break this new and very irritating pattern was just a waste of time. and i don’t have a lot of time.

maybe she got bored with me? maybe luis talked to her? he didn’t tell me he did.

oh yeah also i made muffins and brought those in for jennica’s birthday. most of us had at least one- suzanne refrained because since we just had halloween she wants to go easy on the sweets. 

i was working on grading when harrison came in to hang out. i ended up talking to him for like two hours, me and him and jennica and suzanne and then at the end luis after suzanne left. after he left i finished up my grading and then went home. i was almost hit by cars FOUR TIMES on the way home.

the first time was because i was trying to get over to the left turn lane from the bike lane. i looked back to make sure i had enough room, signalled, and started to turn when the car down the hill suddenly gunned it to try and pass me as i moved into the lane. i had to pull hard to the side, and then i was wobbling, and i still had to get over, so i moved to the left lane and got honked at long and hard by the car behind them. that was the second time.

it’s not like i wasn’t wearing headlights and tail lights. they were on and bright. i just had the batteries replaced. and i signalled, AND originally made sure i had room.

the third time was when i was biking uphill directly after the light. i pass by a parking garage. there were a bunch of cars trying to get in and out right at that second so i waited my turn. then when i tried to pass a car that had pulled out to the exit and sat there a few seconds decided to leave as soon as i got directly in front of it. again, i had bright headlights on.

the third and a half time was because both a bus and another car were parked sideways across the road.

the fourth time was when i was passing through a crosswalk. the car in front of me had stopped like it wanted to make a right turn so i stopped and let it start turning in front of me. after it passed, when i got out into the crosswalk area to keep going, it decided to get back on the road and almost hit me on its way back left.

and i had to stop so many times at the roundabouts on the way home that i never even got up into 6th gear.

it was so angering that when i got home i didn’t even want to do anything but complain about it. i sent a message asking who put the stupid juice in the water and then i put some soy thing in the oven and waited. dinner was just ok. not sure i’m gonna get those “chick’n” things again from that brand though.

i ended up watching youtube for a million years instead of doing my quantum homework, YET AGAIN. i want to say that i’ve been over exerting myself for too long but like... i dunno, i can’t tell if i’m tired or lazy. everyone tells me how hard i work and it’s like, i took a whole three hours off today! what are you talkin about?? i only worked nine hours! IF THAT!

should just be a work machine. cranking out an entire homework assignment a day. i feel horrible for ONLY getting done one section of grading. but all these departments keep giving me the runaround and i get so exhausted running from the drc to the cwc to the dso to the physics office to the graduate advisor back to the drc back to the dso but oops they didn’t pen in my appointment for the right time come back next week...

it’s like they design it so that only people who don’t have depression can get accommodations for depression. and i don’t have any time to rest between these paperwork expeditions and homeworks due and classes to teach and grades to calculate and finances to manage and somehow still be working on therapy strategies and trying to develop social connections so i don’t feel so fricking isolated.

the longer i go without seeing the care area the longer it’s gonna take for me to be able to find an individual therapist who takes my insurance and isn’t also a hack. i am trying to delegate but unreliable OFFICIAL OFFICES make that hella difficult. and i just don’t have time to do it myself right now.

i’m too nervous to start my homework. that’s the real problem. i feel like i lost too much momentum and i won’t be able to remember anything i’ve even done in the classes up to now. and then my brain is all,

instead of giving me useful things like what we did in class last week. i lost a day of notes too because no one shows up for classical mechanics. jennica doesn’t take very good notes... i’ll have to make do with what she’s got, maybe tomorrow? maybe not. depends on what i can get done.

usually this only happens once a semester. something will slow me down for a week or two and then i’ll have to claw my way back up to where the rest of the class is.

THIS SEMESTER IT’S HAPPENED TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE PLAYING CATCH-UP, I LOVE BEING STRESSED AND TIRED AND OVERWORKED ALL THE TIME, I LOVE BEING SICK, I LOVE WHEN MOM CALLS ME RANDOMLY AND SAYS IT’S *MY* JOB TO MAKE DAD FEEL BETTER ABOUT ME BEING MAD THAT HE DID BAD THINGS AND THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR ACTIONS, BABY-MAN!!!

it doesn’t help on the tests either because playing catch-up is not the same as reviewing. AND i don’t have as much energy as my classmates for doing practice exams, nor do i have as much time, because since i don’t have as much energy for ANYTHING, i’m still doing this week’s homework while everyone is getting ahead.

at 10 instead of starting to write i loaded up an episode of pokemon that i never saw. the meowth one where he talks to the viewer about how he learned to talk and stuff. hashtag relatable, man. guess by the time i get my phd i’ll be a freak too.

(i already am but that’s beside the point)

something good today is that i am now only 1 week behind on grading (this week’s lab doesn’t count as behind yet). i’m going to stop grading now until the weekend, when i need to have 6 more sections done by tuesday in order to really be “caught up.” but we have a long weekend so this is fine. it’s fine. it’s fine! i’m fine. this is fine.

i don’t got time to cry.

something good today... positive self talk is hard. 

it’s harder with mood swings.............

i’ve been doing pretty good about. like. eating breakfast every day. i think i’ve only missed it once since i started grad school in mid august. and i eat at least a snack at dinner time every day. lunch has been trickier because my days are a dumpster fire of stuff to do but i try to at least have a snack then too. i think it’s been doing really good for my metabolism. and i’m just not exhausted and miserable and sleepy in the mornings! i’ve only fallen asleep in class once and it was after a REALLY miserable night. i think it was the day after my all-nighter 40 hour awakness adventure. my body realized i’d skipped a day when i did finally get ~9 hours of sleep.

you know what i like? i never talk about it any more. i liked the saturday morning sonic cartoon from like 1991. it was gucci. 

the fist time i ever saw it was from an amv set to a song i’d never heard. and now i really like both of those things. i will post it in a minute because i like it and you might too. 

like the cartoon had its strange moments but it’s an early 90s cartoon and i’m gonna hazard a guess that there were some... executive decisions in the premises of some of those episodes. and, overall, the last season, and ESPECIALLY the last five episodes, are a solid 9.5/10. i still have the box set in my room with my old writing printouts. i might... want that here actually, if i didn’t bring it along on a whim and it’s sitting with my movies and i forgot it’s there because i haven’t watched any of my movies in three months lol. 

i just never hear anyone talking about it! i found an animorphs community and that’s good. and satam sonic wasn’t exactly my childhood, i didn’t find it until i was like 13 or 14. but it’s charming, animation errors and low budget and jaleel white and all.

actually i take it back. jaleel white is the best sonic voice actor. fight me.