#my lab job made me weak af

[nonbinary-cryptid-baby]

Accidentally got 5 days off for the funeral and I’m not correcting no one lol

[ziracona]

hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Abby’s Addiction and Acceptable Losses

Love is our greatest strength and our Biggest Weakness

The 100, 5x07, Acceptable Losses

What this review includes: Octavia and Bellamy and Clarke Clarke and Madi and Gaia and Octavia The Flame The Perils of Motherhood Clarke: The Mother Indra: The Mother Dioyza: The Mother Addiction and it's effect on the people we love Abby & Marcus The Root of Abby's Addiction Where Marcus is at Where Abby is at Where they at is not the same place Hope for the Future

Well that was utterly heartbreaking and depressing. I feel like this season is a return to basics for the show. Going back to what makes this show so compelling. It's characters, their relationships and the choices they make that effect themselves and the ones that love them. That is what is at the heart of this season and this episode was so heartbreaking because of that. The question of whether going to war is the right decision. And whither the brutal nature of humans is a reason to deserve to survive. 

And since this show is highly influenced by Battlestar Galactica its not surprise that this episode was written by a BSG alumni. This episode it seems is all about taking those eternal bonds and fracturing them. And since this season is about death and rebirth. HOPEFULLY everyone can come out in a better place by the end. But let me tell you that episode was so scary. The kabby angst was just too much for me. 

I have a lot to say, not just about Kabby (we'll get to that). I think theirs a LOT to unpack in what happened in this episode and I have a lot of thoughts about it. This is going to be lots of ranting and raving and sadness and meta. Lots of meta.

Octavia and Bellamy and Clarke

I know that once we get "The Dark Year" and everything that happened. It's going to humanize Octavia more. Because honestly right now (even though there are no good guys) Octavia is the villain. And I honestly don't know how they plan to have her come out of this on the other side. Maybe they don't. I don't know. 

One thing I did love was Octavia calling out Clarke and Bellemy on the shit they did. They are not innocent. They killed people in order to save their people. Just like Octavia is doing. TonDC, Mount Weather those were both horrible decisions that Clarke (and Bellemy with mt weather) or allowed to happen.

Clarke and Madi and Gaia and Octavia

The Flame

Honestly I'm so over the flame storyline. I get that it makes sense for Clarke/Madi storyline and how much of a threat that is to their relationship and to Madi's survival for her soul. And how Clarke doesn't want Madi to go down the same path she did when she came to the ground. And I am loving all of the call backs to previous seasons and characters and how much everything has effected them. And how past decisions are still present in these characters. And how much they can't get away from them. But...I feel like the show has moved past the whole flame storyline. I mean can't it just be enough that Madi is the last true nightblood. And that be the threat?

On the other hand. So many people are so utterly devoted to Octavia. Who's going to leave her rule because some 10 year old kid has nightblood? For the record. Even though I believe that Gaia would protect Madi because of the nightblood thing. I don't trust her. She's still scary AF. Remember she is the one that completely encouraged/enabled this whole blood lust side of Octavia to use to their advantage. So I have no doubt that she'd exchange Madi's soul for that damn flame. 

And I'm scared that damn thing is going to end up in Madi. It just needs to be destroyed honestly.

The perils of Motherhood

Clarke: The Mother

How much is Clarke thinking about her relationship with Madi, in terms of her relationship with Abby. And how much she now understands why Abby made the choices that she made. In order to protect her. And all of the shit that she went through to try to save her from herself. This episode was so much about motherhood that I really felt that they should have put some Clarke/Abby mothership in here. 

Clarke doing everything she can to protect Madi. By hiding who and what Madi is. All Madi sees right now is her idolization of Octavia and her wanting to show up Aiden when he thought he was better than her.

Indra: The Mother I feel like Indra is the last person who believes in Octavia's humanity. With Bellemy thrown somewhere in there. She's told Octavia she loves her tried talking her out of her dark ways. And so far nothings working. And really as far as where Octavia is at this moment. She will do anything and everything to save her people that are loyal to her. Even at the cost of her soul. I really don't know if that's a pit she can crawl out of. Hopefully. But I feel like out of all of the characters this season, Octavia has the farthest to go.

Dioyza: The Mother Up until now we didn't know that Dioyza was pregnant. Which certainly tells us that she's got someone to protect, just like everyone else. Which now I feel like brings her down to everyone else. Having that one person in their life that they will do anything to protect at any cost. 

SO far we've gotten lots of Marcus and Dioyza interactions. I want to see Abby and Dioyza interactions and their motherhood. I'm so curious as to how this is going to change their relationship. Because right now all Dioyza sees in Abby is a doctor she can manipulate with drugs.

Addiction and it's effect on the people we love

Abby & Marcus

The one thing that I love about this storyline is that the show is giving equal weight to both characters. What their going through, their pain and their perspective. This is not a black and white situation. Neither is right, neither is wrong. But first lets talk a bit about why Abby is an addict.

The Root of Abby's Addiction I want to talk a bit about why Abby's an addict. I've read a bit about people's perspective on how this all started. And we've seen that Abby started taking the pills after she was cured from the CoL chip and it was from the headaches that she'd gotten. That's how it started but that's not the root cause of why she's taking the pills. And I haven't really seen a lot of people talking about why she's choosing to take the pills.

More often than not. The reason why a person is an adict, isn't because they love the way drugs make them feel. Yes, that certainly is a way for people to become addicted. Which can quickly turn into a chemical dependency. But it generaly it goes further than that. And in Abby's case it's clear to me that the root of her addiction, has to do with the choices she made. 

It goes all the way back to that guy she killed trying to create the nightblood cure in Becca's lab. It utterly destroyed her. Think about what type of person Abby is. She's a doctor who's got such a finite moral center. And this was the first time she'd done something so completely against her own morals. And it cost so very much of herself. Add on top of that her decision to open the door to save Marcus. And how she was faced (over and over again) how that decision had effected others. How that decision cost the lives of so many other people. 

Which comes to the place where Abby was in Red Queen. In which Abby felt like she didn't deserve to survive. And how her choice of life and death was taken away from her by Marcus. And how ever since then she's just be hanging on by such a thin thread. And how the pills are her way of not only functioning day by day but numbing herself to her own demons and the ones around her. And lets face it no one in the Bunker was in a good place.

Where Marcus is at Marcus giving Abby an ultimatum is probably not the best decision. I hate it actually because it was so utterly painful. But the thing about it is. But from Marcus' perspective.  He loves her more than anything. He's in pain, he's frustrated and has tried everything else. Literally everything else to get her to stop taking the pills and nothing has worked. He's locked her up took keep her from confessing and killed someone. He's almost died and she still won't stop. 

And he's at the point where he's come to realize that he can't fight her inner demons for her. As much as he wants to. As much as he's tried to. And as much as you love someone and want someone to do better and to be better. That's the thing about addiction. You can love someone to the ends of the earth. You can love someone to the point where you'd kill for them, that you would walk through fire for them or die for them.  But you can't make their choices for them. Abby is going to have to make the choice for herself to crawl out of that hole. 

Marcus' confession feels so similar to the one he made to her six years ago in the farm when they were locked up. He's saying the same thing here. "I can't watch you die, I am not strong enough." That is one thing I can't do. Six years ago Marcus took her choice away from her. Now he's giving her the choice to save herself and them.  

Where Abby is at As for where Abby's at. Oh my god. What an impossible situation. She's struggling with this addiction. It's fractured her relationship with Marcus. It's been implied that she's tried to quit at least once (maybe multiple times) and it hasn't stuck. The bunker was such a dark place and they did such a fantastic job of showing us that both of them where at their wits end. That they'd lost hope and where they themselves were stuck in an endless cycle. That they couldn't get out of. Now that Abby and Marcus are in the light they have a second chance which is exactly what he tells her. 

But here's the rub. Abby feels she has to take the pills in order to function. In order to be a doctor. To be the doctor that will save them all. To save elligius and more importantly to save Marcus. Because that's the threat that is held over Abby's head. That she can't be a doctor in withdrawal, which puts Marcus' life in the balance. To be clear that as much as Marcus and Dioyza have formed a tentative alliance. They are not friends. And she won't hesitate to get rid of them if they stop being useful. Abby knows this in her bones. Just look at the way she (dioyza) exploits Marcus & Abby's bond to her advantage. It is their greatest strength and their biggest weakness. Love. That I also feel is what is at the heart of this season. 

But at the same time this entire situation is an excuse for her to keep taking the pills. It is a reason for her to NOT to stop taking the pills. And when Marcus said she would be a better doctor off the pills. He wasn't wrong. Those pills are numbing her emotions. Which is effecting her care for her patients. Her heart is what makes Abby such an amazing doctor. Is her ability to care so deeply for her patients. It's what makes her fight so hard for them. Abby before the pills would have given so much after thought and care into her patents. Even and especially after they've died.

So when we see the girl dead on the table, and when Marcus points out that she didn't even close her up. That's not like Abby. It's not like Abby to just leave the girl there like that. I think it will be interesting to see how Abby's care for Dioyza's unborn baby and how that will potentially effect Abby's addiction. And how that might be something that could motivate Abby to see the light. 

Where they at is not the same place Something else I found interesting and quite angsty. Was how different Marcus and Abby see their situation. Marcus sees this as a second chance for them. For a happy and healthy life. A chance they had no hope of in the bunker with the hell they had to go through. They were just surviving down there and now life can be different. 

Abby on the other hand isn't there yet. She doesn't see the light yet she's still trapped in the dark. All she can see is the threat hanging over their heads. All she can see is if she doesn't find a cure Marcus and her are either cast out or dead. And i'm utterly heartbroken that they are so broken. I really need Abby to figure this out and put herself back together. To find her light again.

Hope for the Future One thing about the whole devastating scene at the end of the episode between Marcus and Abby. Was that at the beginning of the scene we see Abby giving her pills away to the prisoners. To help them with their pain. She isn't giving up her addiction to them. But she is giving part of her supply away. And I found that utterly fascinating. It's not a thing they linger on. But I think it shows hope that her care for others can be bigger than her addiction. And that might just be what will break her cycle of self abuse. And this baby might just be the ticket.

[slaps6787]

REWRITING THE FLASH SEASON 3

I wrote this last year, but never actually posted it... and since season 4 is coming to an end, and i’m once again disappointed with all the missed opportunities they had I decided this needed to see the light of day (I plan on doing this again after the season 4 finale).

Episodes 1 - 4

- I would have made flashpoint a multiple episode arc. Pretty much 90% of the promotion for season 3 was THEY’RE DOING FLASHPOINT, and i was very disappointed after it was only 1 episode. I would extend it, and play with it a little more.

- I would keep the Westallen courtship/ dating the same I FREAKING LOVED IT, that would be one of the things in wouldn’t change, that was one thing the writers did right

- Next I would’ve had iris secretly picking up the slack for Joe at work. Like she would secretly picking up his cases, and using her investigative reporter skills to solve them, so Joe could keep his job. (wally would help out too)

- I kinda liked Joe being a deadbeat cop, and it would show Iris’s compassion and her just wanting to help people (he would eventually come around)

- Wally would make his own suit, and struggling to balance college and being the flash (like he’s really smart, and is a mechanical engineer like cisco, let him be smart and a college kid) Plus I would love for Wally to try to secretly get out of class, and find an excuse for why he’s leaving

- I also would love for Barry and Iris solve a case together, they combine their CSI and reporter skills to solve a case, and would be working to solve the case     (next bullet point) In the comics they work together a lot, I want to see it happen

- Cisco I would honestly make an evil millionaire, (the person Barry and Iris are trying to take down) I loved reverb, Carlos is an amazing actor, let’s make him a cocky, stuck up, asshole who hates Iris west for exposing his company, and “The Flash” for destroying his company (I don’t have details, i just like the idea) And the Rival was a weak useless villain, and i’m sick of Speedsters not being fast enough against other speedsters

- Harrison wells would work for Cisco (like one of his henchmen) cause I like Tom Cavanagh, and I want him in here. Maybe he would try and Go after Iris or flash (details not fully figured out)

- Caitlin would be Wally’s “doctor” if anything happened to Wally they would go to her. I’m confused AF on what Caitlin’s job is, in season 1 she’s a Bio-engineer, and season 3 she’s a doctor, I know they’re not the same job. So i’m making her a doctor. We would only see her once in like the first episode, and like twice in the last episode. Helping out Wally. They only know her because Iris and Caitlin were friends (I hated how the only 2 females on the show aren’t friends, they’ve even been through the same situations, WTF writers)

- I would want to see more of barry with his parents, that breakfast scene in flashpoint was adorable, i would add a few more of those scenes

- But they only part I would keep is when his Flashpoint life goes downhill (losing memories and speed) Maybe Joe AND Wally get stabbed/ shot, and that would be the ultimate reason Barry leaves, because he realizes he screwed up, and is ruining lives

- Barry would not be the flash, I honestly hated when he suited up again, let Wally star for a little bit

- Barry would leave the end of 4, and pick up in episode 5

- Ultimately keep it light and fun and out of star labs

Episode 5

- This would be the returning back to the “original” timeline. I would make very clear what did and didn’t happen regarding season 1 and 2 (I was extremely confused on what did and didn’t happen in the new timeline I would make it very clear, and I would keep the changes the same, but the repercussions would last longer

- Iris and Joe still wouldn’t talk, Cisco’s brother would be dead, Caitlin would be Killer Frost, but Wally would have his powers (I didn’t like waiting) Julian would be introduced

- Westallen would also be official in this episode

- Jessie Quick and Harry would be introduced at the end of this episode

- Some other changes… In all honestly this is more of a filler episode explaining things

- I would get rid of Dr. Alchemy, he was useless and Savitar could do what what he did, we have to keep they focus on Savitar

Episode 6

- I would make this a West Family episode with some hints of Killer Frost.

- I feel like Iris would want Wally to be Kid Flash (felt OOC her discouraging it in the crossover) but Joe wouldn’t want Wally to use his powers so you get them “dueling” and Wally would just be confused on what he wants, and what’s best

- Wally ultimately decides to become Kid Flash

- Cisco would be salty towards Barry, but not depressed (it was a bummer)

- Barry would refuse to train wally (he’s way too busy with life) That’s when wally calls Harry and Jesse and asks them to train him

- They travel earths, and they help Wally (I LOVE Jessie Quick, and I want to see her train Wally a bit)

- Barry is trying to reconnect Iris and Joe, but they aren’t having it (I love the wests, and this storyline could be interesting, so i would make it a couple episodes; I would keep the reason they’re disconnected the same)

- Barry learns he can solve this, and just have to let it play out

- Caitlin’s struggling with her powers (Killer First is making an appearance a couple times, but controls herself)  and it leads to the next episode

Episode 7

I would keep this episode the same, I didn’t hate it, let Caitlin shine a little bit. Only change I would make is that Cisco would snap Caitlin out of Killer Frost instead of Barry (Caitlin and cisco have a MUCH stronger relationship than Barry and Caitlin)

Episode 8

This episode would also be mainly the same (I don’t watch Supergirl or legends, and I stopped watching Arrow after season 4) biggest change would be adding Jesse Quick and Wally West (They need more people to take down aliens)

Episode 9

- This episode would be pretty much the same

- Harry and Jesse would leave in this episode, and introduce HR

- Jay Garrick pops up in this episode

- Barry would still go to the future, and see Iris die, but seeing that convinces him to get everyone together and happy for the holidays

- Joe and Iris would make up

- Cisco and Barry would make up

- The ending would be the same (Party at the west house) and Barry and Iris move in together

- Not horribly different, I liked this episode

Episodes 10, 11

would stay the same Those episodes were great, and we still had hope then

Episode 12

Only Difference I would make is Iris gets targeted by Yorkin because she’s feeling ballsy she exposes him, for murdering people and gets hit then

Episode 13 + 14

I would still make a 2 parter, but not at gorilla city (it bored me) What always bothers me about this show is they have endless possibilities, but they stay in star labs all the damn time. The Earth 2 episodes are from last year are 2 of my favorite episodes from this series. I would have Cisco go to earth 19 to chase after Gypsy, and get’s stuck there. So HR, Barry, Wally all go to earth 19 to get him back, and we see Different versions of all the characters (IDK what to do with them yet)

- While they’re away I would put Iris through the 5 stages of grief

- She would still be in the denial stage, but looking into savitar, and learning more about him, and actively trying to stop her death

- Joe would be trying to spend A LOT of time with Iris, and would constantly be checking in on her. (He’s just an emotional mess honestly)

- I would spend these 2 episodes setting a strong friendship with Julian (I hated how he was another bland love interest for her) I’d make them bro’s

- And the proposal would not happen until the musical episode (more on that later)

Episode 15

- This episode was depressing AF, and useless

- I would introduce Tracy Brand now (I LOVE her but she came out of nowhere)

- She’s a scientist who is interested in Meta humans

- Tracy approaches Iris to help her with some research to prove her “hypothesis” because Iris has written about Meta humans before

- They work together and they become friends (because we need more female friendships)

- Wally and Barry Train

- Caitlin and Cisco work together

- Just a fun filler episode

- Joe finds out that he get’s honored at city hall (because what happened to the plot line)

Episode 16

- Another depressing, and filler episode,This would be a Joe West episode. He finds out he get’s honored in the future, so the episode is basically him being a lousy cop, doing everything to not get honored. (More on savitar later...)

- Little hints of Killer Frost, she’s slowly losing it

- Iris is still researching savitar

- Joe ultimately fails, and does something amazing, and does get honored anyway (no details figured out)

- Joe refuses to be honored, but everyone convinces him to go

- Everyone attends the ceremony, and is all dressed up (I always wanted Barry and Iris go somewhere as a couple)

- But Joe doesn’t show up

- Iris finds out that Joe didn’t show up because he doesn’t want her to die

- And she’s sick of people treating her differently because they know she might die (This is the Anger part of the 5 stages of grief)

- She’s mad at Barry because everything is his fault, she might die because of him

- Plus I low key like when they fight, and this takes away all they forced angst between them with the first proposal, and we give iris more of a POV for her death

Episode 17

I would keep the musical the same, I personally loved this episode. And by taking out the first proposal, this one is more impactful

Episode 18

- I hated the plot for this episode, it furthered nothing. But I liked abra kadabra

- Abra Kadabra would be on the run from Gypsy (trying to get back to his century)

- Iris would be at the “bargaining” stage of grief, and bargains with him to give her information, but he doesn’t

- I was hoping for some tornado twins or impulse foreshadowing

- SO maybe Abra doesn’t help Iris because he knows that if she lives she has kids, and their grandkids become his greatest enemy (I didn’t like barry being his enemy, just felt stupid)

- Caitlin would somehow become Killer Frost (idk why yet, I just didn’t like the - whole “Caitlin is dead” we know a version of her is coming back, and Danielle Panabaker does a WAY BETTER JOB AS KILLER FROST THAN CAITLIN)

Episode 19

- I would keep this episode the same, only 2 differences

- Iris would be at the depression stage, you see her break down, and finally being vulnerable

- Barry would return to the future and FREAKING GIVE IRIS ALL THE LOVE (low key add a reunion sex scene because i’m thirsty AF)

- Yeah I didn’t hate this episode

Episode 20

- I would make this episode all about Barry and the speedforce, and use this episode as a set up for the season finale when he leaves (since it sort of came out of nowhere)

- And this is when Caitlin goes full killer frost (a good chuck of the episode would be dedicated to her)

Episode 21

- I honestly wouldn’t change a thing about this episode, favorite episode of the season

- But maybe give Barry a real reason to get his memory back

Episode 22

- This episode would play out like how 22 played out, I liked captain cold, and personally loved this episode, except for the “iris died” ending

- Iris is at the acceptance stage of grief, and goes around saying her “goodbyes”

Episode 23

- I would make this episode an intense, earth hopping, basically one big chase to keep Iris hidden from Savitar, and let everyone uses their powers to fight against savitar

- Every person with meta powers would chip in and keep her safe

- HR would not die, i love him as a character, and it was too predictable

- And the season would end with Iris not dying because of The Thinker, since we know he’s the big bad in S4 because Iris is apart of his “big plan”

- I hate how predictable this show has become, none of the “twists” were surprising, I heard theories on how the season would end and it did the way everyone predicted. With the HR swap.

- Barry would only go into the speed force for reasons in “my” episode 20

One shall betray- Caitlin

One will Fall- Iris

One will suffer a fate worse than death- Barry

SO yeah, this was a long ass post but, I was mad and angry with where the Flash is going as a series

So if I was in charge this is how it would’ve went

[lilsana]

get to know me tag ;p

RULES: ANSWER THESE 92 (THERE’S 88 BUT) STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE.

I WAS TAGGED BY @tenpioca​

I TAG @hqleetaeyong @tzennieee @https-km @4utas @iloveyu-ta !! optional ofc

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: mello yellow

2. PHONE CALL: my friend amaya

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “I AM AWAKE”

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Bonnie & Clyde by Dean

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: okay last night……i dropped my bowl and it shattered and i cried a little bit

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: y…es…

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: no

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: no

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yeah ive lost shitty friends

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: yeh

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: i am a weak bitch who cant hold liquor

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. white

13. soft yellow

14. light pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yessss im really happy to say that i actually made friends on this blog! and in real life i made some new friends at my new job :)))

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: yes….

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: yeAh, i feel bad for people who havent tbh

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: yeah

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: many times

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: on multiple occasions

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: nop

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: whats a Facebook

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: i have a blue healer/black lab puppy named kobi!!!

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: heh

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: it was my 18th! but i didnt do much i think i went out to eat and that was it (because i got a puppy and that was my main present!)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: typically i wake up around noon, but today i slept in Real late, like 2:30p LOL

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: drinking tequilla and smokin weed (LIKE ACTUALLY LOL THATS WHY I SLEPT IN LATE)

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: the end of the summer because im moving out and going to college and im Excite!!!

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: 2 seconds ago

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: i wish i could go back and work harder in high school!!!

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: im watching game grumps play mario sunshine TT

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: i work with a cool guy names thomas!

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: when someone tells me how to do something i already know how to do, or when someone tells me to do something that i was ABOUT to do.

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): i have one on my neck and my back

35. MARK(S): i have scars all over my arms because my my dog had super long claws and would jump on my all the time smh

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: LOL i used to want to be a math teacher

37. HAIR COLOR: im naturally blonde but like for the passed 7 months i had i brown and i just bleached it and now its pink on top and the shaved sides are fiery blonde

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short af

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: GUY AT WORK NAMED ZACH HE FUCKS ME UP MAN

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: i can easily adapt to change and im always changing an aspect of my life!

41. PIERCINGS: nose piercing and double ear piercings (but i dont wear piercing in my ears cuz im sensitive lol)

42. BLOODTYPE: A+

43. NICKNAME(S): i am known as betsy the bisexual to a lot of my best friends friends LOL

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single ;/

45. ZODIAC: sagittarius

46. PRONOUNS: im gonna be honest…idc

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: orphan black BIH

48. TATTOOS: im savin my money to get a tattoo mark lee’s iconic ramen hair tattooed on my arm LMFAO

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right

50. SURGERY: neva

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: yeah ive had my hair every color of the rainbow minus green LOL rn its pink

52. SPORT: i played soccer in high school

53. VACATION: im always on vaca hunny

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: i have addidas

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: i just ate mcdonalds

56. DRINKING: mello yellow

57. I’M ABOUT TO: open my drafts and look at the three stories ive started and hope for something magical to happen

58. WAITING FOR: my car to be fixed :(

59. WANT: to move out sooner fucc

60. GET MARRIED: who knows

61. CAREER: research chemist for nasa

62. HUGS OR KISSES: kisses pls dont hug me

63. LIPS OR EYES: why not Both?

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: im short af so taller but i dont care

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: it doesnt matter to me

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms arms arms arms arms arms

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: sensitive!! bc im a sensitive Bitch

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship….probably

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: me, a Troublemaker

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: yes

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: this is the worst fucking thing

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yeah lol

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: oh baby what is you doing???

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: yes

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: i probably did, but it was as bad as it really was and i was overreacting LOL

77. BEEN ARRESTED: no

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yess

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ofc

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: on occasion

81. MIRACLES: no lol

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: irl no, but its easy to fall in love with people over the internet

83. SANTA CLAUS: no

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: cute

85. ANGELS: i want to say yes because lee taeyong and lee jeno exist but??? im not actually religious

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): mayo and whoregina

OTHER

87. EYECOLOR: grey

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: interstellar!!!

[caitspodcastlist]

Feminism

Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls

rebelgirls.co/pages/podcast-1

From Timbuktu Labs

Caitlin's rating: 4/5

"A fairy tale podcast about the women who inspire us." -Rebel Girls website

This is a podcast based on the NYT-bestseller. It's geared toward children, but I've been listening to it and really enjoying it. It's nice to hear stories about badass women around the world who have or are currently defeating stereotypes that women are weak. The episode about Yusra Mardini (18:25) gave me goosebumps. Truly amazing.

Guys We Fucked

sorryaboutlastnightcomedy.com/guys-we-fucked

From Sorry About Last Night

Caitlin's rating: 3/5

"Guys We Fucked is a weekly self-produced podcast during which Corinne and Krystyna interview men they’ve slept with and titans in the comedy and sex industry, discuss sexual taboos, and create a sex-positive environment for their million plus listeners worldwide." -Sorry About Last Night website

Unlike Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls, this one is not aimed toward youngins. I used to be really into GWF, and I think they're doing a good job at breaking the stigma regarding women being sexual beings, but it's been hit or miss for me lately. Their interviews are what make the show, so I would suggest starting 8-10 minutes in so that you can miss all the ads and a bit of the intro.

GWF: HOW DOES CENSORSHIP AFFECT FEMINISM? w/ Former ACLU President Nadine Strossen - 1:37:08 - Interesting interview that talks about why the ACLU is against censorship, even when it comes to Nazis. Just an FYI, the interview doesn't start until 38 minutes in.

GWF: HOW CAN YOU DIP YOUR DICK IN STEAK? Live from Moontower Comedy Festival w/MATT BELLASSAI - 1:48:00 - Matt Bellassai (same guy from Unhappy Hour) used to host a Buzzfeed segment called Whine About It where he gets wine-drunk and bitches about things. He reminds me of Billy Eichner (Craig from P&R). I was nearly in tears while listening to this.

GWF: YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY TO A MATTRESS? w/Bert Kreischer - 2:40:44 - This one also almost had me in tears. Bert Kreischer is hilarious, and he tells a great story about his daughter in the hospital with an amazing plot twist.

GWF: THERE'S A HUMAN PUNCHING YOU FROM THE INSIDE? - 1:56:20 - Interview with a very pregnant comedian who talks about all the awful pregnancy things that I always ask my child-bearing friends about and how she got fired for getting preggo.

Bonus: Bert Kreischer - The Machine - 13:51 - Bert talks about getting involved with the Russian mafia. (This is a YouTube video, but you can just listen to it if you want. He's doing standup.)

Ladies, We Need to Talk

abc.net.au/radio/programs/ladies-we-need-to-talk

From the Australian Broadcasting Company

Caitlin's rating: 5/5

"Ladies, We Need To Talk is a podcast for women, by women, that isn’t afraid to dive head first into the tricky topics we often avoid talking about . . . With sensitivity, personal stories, and serious smarts, this is for women who feel the squeeze between work, their private life, and their pelvic floor." -ABC website

So the first thing you need to know is that this is an Australian show, and the host, Yumi, is Australian, which just means listening to the show is aurally pleasing in general due to the lovely accents. That aside, I love this podcast. Yumi talks about things that are generally taboo among women, e.g. drinking, being fat, menstruating. I think everyone should listen to the episode that talks about how women generally deal with a bigger mental load than men, and men don't even realize it (27:00). This podcast really opened my eyes to some key differences between men and women that I had never even considered. If you're not a lady, it might give you some insight.

Stuff Mom Never Told You

stuffmomnevertoldyou.com

From How Stuff Works

Caitlin's rating: 5/5

"A research-driven rundown of the ever-evolving challenges facing women today and throughout history, paired with smart, strategic solutions to further women’s lives, careers, and activism." -Stuff Mom Never Told You website

SMNTY is one of my favorites because I think I would actually enjoy hanging out with the hosts in real life. Like Good Night Stories, it tells stories of real, badass ladies who are breaking glass ceilings, and it empowers the listener to do the same. Some of my favorites:

Stuff Mom Never Told You: Silicon Valley Sexism Part 1 (53:19) and Part 2 (51:14). This made me so angry but also gave me some great resources to help me feel empowered. It talks about sexism in tech in general, not just in California.

Stuff Mom Never Told You: Campus Sexual Assault & Title IX (30:29). Something very near and dear to my heart.

Stuff Mom Never Told You: Problematic Faves: Taylor Swift (1:03:34). I know this sounds stupid, but I am a firm believer that you need to help your fellow woman, not pit them against each other the way that society often does. I never really considered how Taylor Swift evolved from writing songs about how she’s better than other girls to #squadgoals, but there are lots of problems in there, too. I don’t even like Taylor Swift. I don’t like her music, so I never pay attention to her, but this was interesting af.

Stuff Mom Never Told You: The Women of Walmart (and Modcloth) (59:33). Walmart is evil. The end.

Women at Work

hbr.org/2018/01/podcast-women-at-work

From Harvard Business Review

Caitlin's rating: 4/5

"In this six-episode podcast, HBR editors and guest experts untangle some of the knottiest issues around being a woman at work." -HBR website

I only listened to a couple of the six episodes, but I liked what I heard. I don't know what it was, but unlike SMNTY, I didn't come away feeling really empowered and upbeat. The whole idea of the podcast is just depressing. Sometimes it's hard to think about the ways I'll be disadvantaged thanks to something I cannot control. The podcast does provide good resources, though, and they said they may bring it back for a second season.