#my kid literally received just one present and that was the one i gave her and that was the second one she got and it was shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

capesandshapes · 1 month ago

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For anyone who doesn't understand, I'm going to just break it down:

That executive chose the worst possible example to criticize their clients and I hope the company he worked for is freaking the fuck out now, because screw them.

In most cases epilepsy is believed to be less of a disorder and more of a symptom

We still don't know what the fuck causes grand mal or mini mal seizures because there's literally so many different possible reasons why someone can have a seizure varying from poor nutrition, brain swelling, dropped a lot, flashing lights, dehydration, low blood sugar

and most fun of all-- brain tumors.

One almost killed my twenty seven year old friend last year and caused her to have multiple seizures-- including one that broke out while she was driving. She went in and out of surgery for months to get every single piece of her tumor removed because it turns out tumors are just completely shit for your brain and a pretty life threatening condition.

Brain surgery is also super rough on young adults in the prime of their lives who are more than capable of understanding what they're going through and the risks associated.

Before she entered her first surgery, and every single time after (partially because people going in and out of brain surgery sometimes don't have the best memory), they gave her a packet on alternative methods of treatment and approaches that they would likely take if her cancer were to reappear. Proton therapy was considered a future option because it creates less damage to surrounding cells than radiation, which was considered a pretty pressing concern considering the fact that it was her brain.

People use their brains to, you know, think and stuff. Also walk and talk and breathe and smell-- all of that ordinary shit that makes precise and effective treatment all the more important. People tend to be pretty careful with treatment options when it comes to the brain and its many ailments, because awful things can happen when you're not.

Proton therapy was also presented as a possible future method of treatment to my parents when I was first diagnosed with epilepsy as a kid and they sat in the er following me bashing my skull in on the sidewalk outside of my school. Curiously, because it is a targeted treatment meant to destroy tumor cells, my parents were informed it was only really an option if I had brain tumors.

Because believe it or not, doctors are not nor have they ever been really strapped and ready to fire lasers at everyone and everything. Especially knowing that a treatment like proton laser therapy can cause damage to surrounding cells.

To the shock and disbelief of many, despite the fact that lasers are objectively cool, they're typically only used when the benefits outweigh the risks and a doctor has a well documented and argued case for using them. You know, like finding a tumor in a CT or MRI. (And boy do you get a lot of CTs and MRIs when you have epilepsy)

Now, I'm no fucking healthcare executive, but I am uniquely qualified in being a former epileptic and a former child epileptic with emotionally present parents, and to be frank?

Seizures of any kind are terrifying experiences for a child. They pose a massive risk for injury and death, paired with an emotional toll that does not fade away. My grandmother choked on her tongue and dentures during a seizure and passed away while I continued to be a child actively having grand mals. My friend with the tumor had a mini mal (what doctors consider the less severe option) and drove off the road, nearly injuring herself and others. When I had finally passed the seizure-free threshold to have a shot at being a non epileptic adult, I had to wait six months to drive for the very first time.

And when I was twenty two and received a severe concussion after years of being seizure free? They still sent me through a tube and then put me in the rubber cap with wires everywhere so they could read my brain activity. All because we never did find out why I had seizures, so I get to live the rest of my life like this, worrying about every brain injury and constantly waiting for the next one. It's super fun and I definitely recommend it.

If someone had told my parents that I had a condition that indicated a need for proton laser therapy and that it had a very good chance of stopping my seizures all together or even slightly lessening the chance of me having seizures, they would have done anything to get it--

And it would have been fucking worth it, because of the life I would have had as a result of that. A life that so many other people deserve to have regardless of how it slightly lowers quarterly profit margins.

Fuck Cigna, fuck united, and fuck the us privatized health insurance scheme. Fuck that executive in particular and every single high level employee who wants to go crying to the press about how people don't want to pay their companies to watch them fucking die.

Survival shouldn't have a premium.

It is really disturbing how people can lose their humanity and threaten you just because you *checks notes* sentenced their child to death :'(

#also fun fact about epilepsy charities #I learned when I was an adult and my parents felt like I was finally cool and mature enough to know about these things #that a lot of them actually don't help you afford treatment or advocate for your quality of living at all #A few well known national ones actually just have little camps (that you pay for <3) where you go to meet other people with epilepsy #but they do this once a year #and you might be wondering what they do for the rest of the year and let me tell you #avoid taxes :)#Also two very large organizations that were working together to fight epilepsy... let's call them savers and the epilepsy foundation #because it was savers and the epilepsy foundation #basically they just like dicked around and laundered money together and once a year they would have a pizza party in our area #where they would take all of the money that they raised from a year of fundraising in our area #and give seven epileptic kids one slice of pizza each #also not every child could have pizza because some had allergies but those bitches would be damned if you had a second slice #anyway the point is sometimes insurance companies will deny epilepsy treatment and be like have you tried a charity to help you #“we can deny you because there's charities for this sort of thing”#and then you would go to the charity and they would be like yeah keppra's expensive but all we can do is give you these packets #and then the packets are literally like “what is a seizure” “why is my child convulsing”#genuinely dehumanizing

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camilleie · 5 months ago

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Pause

Being reminded that community is important and that I can not stay “in my bubble,” which is the description I have used for this time period holding back from social communications and paying attention to anything that isn’t in or around my home and direct family. This time has been focused on literal home making and caretaking 98% of every day, diving inward, honing into what matters most to me which is my family and our environment. There is so much we can’t control outside ourselves, like spicy politics, pandemonium, illnesses or a massive tree actually falling on my house 6ft away from where Rayna was sleeping.

Making my world smaller helped cope with fears. Finding strength from giving birth to Annabee at 80mph on the highway and feeling absolutely everything igniting the cells throughout and around my spine, doing the full-on with my hands birthing this baby. So really I know I’m a real tough kid. I’ve been trying to handle my shit now ever since. It’s blissful and exhausting baby making and child raising, family forming and home building. We are not alone in this, we may be together yet we can only truly rely on our individual self.

I had to Pause. Annabee’s Mowat-Wilson diagnosis revealing her developmental delay was painfully awakening to what’s more to life. Learning and loving her has been the most transformative curve I have received thus far and it’s a beautiful thing to know what I know now. As teenagers, Blake and I found intimate love then Rayna gave me irrevocable love and little Annabee taught me infinite love. I guess what I am trying to say is that I’m consumed and when I have been joking with “I don’t get out much,” this is why. I would busy myself with refocusing on what is in front of me, nurture my surroundings and be present.

Projects are abundant and I had to pause some of those too, reorganize in a way to make space to do the project so that at some point we, me and the fam could work on each project. I could just fill in a blank space with many different things but they all fall into the category of the word ‘project’.. Things are gettingggg organized around here for my OCD/Everything needs a home Era but it's just nonstop so we keep calm & carry on & on.

We’re all okay, we’re happy, we’re good. We are living in a particular pace where we really stop and smell the roses you know? Rayna sped up our lives and growth then Annabee grounded us all in the most angelic way, happily emoting through this life, being absolutely pure of heart. I believe she chose to be here with us at this time to demonstrate how to love and care for one another.

#spiritual #special needs #mother

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capaldinatural · 1 year ago

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Ok guys this is a long-overdue update to my silly music/car boy saga

First off, we have been officially dating for about a month now! We've been on 2 official, "just us" dates and have hung out almost everyday for the month. I've met and had dinner with his family several times. They're all amazing, I love them. He has 2 younger siblings who are literally the most iconic and adorable kids ever. They said I was like family to them and I almost cried. He has an older sister who is cool as fuck and we text all the time, I'm planning on going thrifting with her and my boyfriend soon. His parents are both fantastic and they even got me a Christmas gift, a stuffed animal that's a smaller version of one they have.

We have both said that we love each other, and this does seem fast but we have been friends for several months before starting to date and I love a lot of my friends, they're my people and I love them and before we started dating I definitely loved him just as one of my people and I think it's silly to pretend like I just don't love someone yet because our relationship changed. If I started dating my best friend tomorrow then I wouldn't wait forever to tell her I love her because I do already love her?? Does that make sense?

Anyway, here's some smaller fun things:

He's a tap dancer! His company put on a small holiday performance at a retirement home and I went with his family and it was amazing! He's very talented and shockingly coordinated for someone so lanky. I also brought him flowers that I arranged myself, which was very fun to do.

He brought me flowers the other day! Blue ones, since that's my favorite color! I got into my top college and received a scholarship and they were a sort-of congratulations gift

Today we gave each other part of our Christmas presents! Turns out, we both are making something else for each other and neither finished in time so we'll do those later! We each made each other cassette mixtapes and I'm listening to mine right now! He even recorded an introduction to his and I was smiling like an idiot listening to the whole thing. I'm also realizing how similar our music taste is, which is something that really has brought us closer together and is something we both love, because a couple of the songs on the tape he made me are in the one I made him! He put Buddy Holly on mine too because I love Weezer and that's so silly of him

I love him sooo much guys

#my silly little music/car boy saga

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springvaletales · 2 years ago

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((Session 45 is wrapped!))

I have been out of work all week either taking care of my mother with Covid or sick with something, myself, so I have done literally no prep for tonight. My players are super excited to play though so another night of improv it is!

We had a few character story points to wrap up before we could move to Festival Day 3, so I had my players roll story-initiative to see who went first.

Ena spent the rest of Day 2 lying in bed like a sad sack, clutching her homemade marriage proposal amulet like a teddy bear.

Ena’s Player: “It’s hard to party when you’re sad.”

Me: “That’s when you have to party harder! Out-party the sad!”

Asahi approached Ambassador Rototol (shortly after Sir Carl had left) to discuss her glasswork.

He was quite interested in her pamphlet portfolio, and inquired if she ever did work for children’s memorials, as memorials are listed among her talents.

He did not elaborate on why he would need a children’s memorial, but put her pamphlet in a safe place.

Next, Asahi handed out a pamphlet to Geraldine, whom she found once more at the chocolate fountain. She successfully won her patronage after overhearing her gush to the servants about her many pet rats back home, and presenting her pamphlet with a small glass rat.

Geraldine thought it looked just liked her beloved Marscapone.

New NPC: Ambassador Pawl Rudd, from Helleth-on-the-Sea. A Leonin nobie who has a crush on a Harengon server in Queen Almaea’s court.

Pawl Rudd took one of Asahi’s pamphlets to try and make it look like he hadn’t just been staring openly. Asahi can’t tell if he wants to eat the Harengon or….y’know. ;3

Lastly, Asahi tried to track down Advisor Rond-El and Captain Astaroth, and overheard them arguing quietly in a room a few hallways away from the main party.

Rond-El argued that the increased presence of guardsmen is making the visiting nobility nervous, and believes that Astaroth needs to lessen the security on the final festival day to make negotiations with these foreign powers easier for Rond-El and his fellows.

Astaroth argued back that the guard presence is not enough, in his opinion. After the kidnapping of one prince and the attempted assassination of another, all within the last three months, he wants and even heavier presence - but the newest graduating class of guard folk have been delayed due to weather, and haven’t left the training barracks.

Asahi interrupted them with a knock before things could get any more heated, and forced Rond-El to take one of her pamphlets under the guise of being civil in Astaroth’s presence. He high-tailed it out of the room as quickly as possible.

With a high perception roll, Asahi noticed that they had argued hard enough before her appearance that Astaroth had left knuckle-marks on the table.

Asahi had no pamphlet for Astaroth, but a series of question instead:

Had he heard about Guildmaster Evelyn, in Port Saltmuth? (No. He had no idea she was missing, and agreed to send a guard for a wellness check).

How often does Rond-El ask him to be more lax on security? (At least three times a month. It really gets under his scales.)

Did he know that there were mimics in the guardhouse lost and found? (Again?! It was the Springvale station, wasn’t it? Damnit, now he has to send the whole group for retraining. Mimics are supposed to go to the local shelters, not the lost and found!).

Asahi mentioned as an afterthought that the party had crossed paths with Senn-Dugaal at least twice now, and Astaroth went white as a sheet.

Asahi tried to add in that he seemed to be working with the BBEG against his own will, but Astaroth just hissed out that it didn’t matter, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door. He left claw marks in the wood (again).

THEY KEEP CALLING MY MURDEROUS WAR CRIMINAL B O N E D A D D Y.

Thiori gave all his personalized gifts to the kids. None of them have ever really received a gift with no strings, nor one so thoughtfully picked out for just them. If Thiori had any hesitations about being a parent, it’s too late now. They’ve adopted him.

Bagelby went back to find Queen Almaea and asked if she would walk with him in the garden. They had a lovely talk about how much pressure being royalty is, and really, Almaea is barely older than Bagelby is, in dragon years.

She’s exhausted from a thousand years of politics, and the pressure from advisors who only know her as ‘Queen for Whom the Sun Rises’, and not as ‘Almaea’.

Bagelby: “Are you happy?”

Almaea, after a long moment of thought: “…yes, I think I am. I have a thriving kingdom, a loving husband, three miracle children that medical science said I couldn’t have, a wonderful son-in-law, and a soon-to-be son-in-law. I don’t know what else I could possibly want for.”

The players also found out, through this conversation, that Velenna raised Almaea. I’m surprised that they’re surprised - it’s written pretty clearly in that travel guide they always reference for every other big NPC.

Sir Carl Jaeger stopped in another side garden, where he met the Tabaxi ruler of Tatar, Queen Sunshine in the Dark, who was watching her toddler son cartwheel around in a tree while his father, King Eyes in the Dark, followed him on the ground, worried he would fall.

It’s Prince Three Bridges in a Storm’s first big trip out of his homeland (Tavar), and his parents are so proud of how he’s handling it.

At one point, King Eyes in the Dark tripped and face planted into a flower bed. His son found this hilarious.

Toddler Tabaxi Prince: “Haha, Papa go flat!”

His mother and Sir Carl: “Haha, yes little one, it’s quite funny.”

Toddler Tabaxi Prince: “I go flat, too!” *purposefully fall out of tree*

His mother and Sir Carl: “NOOO!!!”

He’s fine. He landed on his dad.

The party all met back up at their rooms at the end of the night to sleep off all their drinking (and oh boy, was there a lot of drinking).

About Blackstone City: “You did not start the coup but you DID start the fire.”

The next morning, the party had gathered around the breakfast table for complimentary rich person waffles, and Lex finally made her +6 STR debut by ripping both of her bedroom doors off their hinges.

“She is the single buffet Tiefling you’ve ever seen. Roll a will save.”

Sir Carl challenged Lex to an arm wrestle to show off her new muscles, and rolled a nat 1. Lex slammed his hand into the table so hard, it left imprints of his signet rings in the wood.

I think this is the first time Sir Carl as belly laughed since joining the party.

Thiori asked if he could arm wrestle Lex, too, and then the chat devolved into debating whether or not Thiori would regrow one of his crab arms if it was ripped off.

Can….can Thiori molt??

Thiori also lost the arm wrestle to Lex, who - halfway through winning - leaned almost out of her seat to grab another waffle off the communal plate.

Bagelby pointed out that Lex is carrying a new weapon - an artifact of her god, Vatun, called the Rod of Guffaw (which is actually a shapeshifting mace that casts Vicious Mockery on a critical hit and screams at you if you try to turn it into a bow).

A very overworked Tabaxi postal runner finally caught up to Ena, and delivered a stack of letters from all of her children and friends back in the Grove that he’d been carrying around for two weeks. He couldn’t catch the party from all their teleporting/disappearing off the face of the Earth for hours at a time.

He chugged a glass of water, stole a waffle off the table, and promptly took all his vacation days “starting meow!”.

We set a date for next week, and then it’s on to the festivities of Day 3!!

#OOC #Quarantine D&D

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lillysbitchfest · 9 months ago

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Right, I see what’s going on here. Black Stan

I am not a stan. Of anything, I can like something and evaluate it's flaws. I favor Team Black over Team Green, because I like the characters better and think their reasons for fighting are better- at the same time I think monarchy is fundamentally wrong. Revenge is fundamentally wrong and not justice. I can understand a character's motivation while still thinking they are doing the wrong thing.

loves Daemon

Yup I love Daemon. He is an entertaining chaos beasty.

everyone else is wrong.

Generally I think my beliefs/opinions/takes are correct, that's why they are my opinions. If I didn't think they were correct I would change them? I don't understand this argument. Who has beliefs and opinions they don't think are correct?? I am willing, when confronted with sufficient evidence to change my mind though.

Makes sense why you felt the need to call out my post, but since we are on B&C, how about I point out how much of a coward he was for it?

He received notice of Luke’s death, not the party. For all they knew, it was just a welcome home feast. DAEMON WAS NOT PRESENT AND WOULD HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THE FEAST WAS FOR. Any information he received was secondhand.

The whole having spies in King's Landing thing just went totally over your head I guess. There is no way that in communicating with Mysaria he didn't find out what happened to Aemond after he came back having killed Luce- now imagining even that it was just a welcome home feast and he didn't get word of Aegon's "Good start" line- then it was obvious to Daemon that Aemond wasn't punished in any way for breaking the rules about messengers and kinslaying, Aegon, acting as the leader, would be seen as either ordering or supporting Aemond's actions. The end.

Also, grieving parent? Yeah, Luke’s days were numbered the second Aegon the younger was born. No way Daemon would let bastards sit the iron throne before his ‘trueborn’ (his wedding to Rhaenyra isn’t valid as her husband was still alive when it took place. Oops) sons.

Pure speculation on your part, and I'm guessing some projection about your feelings about "bastards" to top it off... Gross my dude. Gross. (His wedding to Rhaenyra, in the TV show the version where her husband was still alive, was Valyrian- who are known to have poly-marriages. Try again. Or actually don't because this whole legitimacy stuff is supper gross.) Provide any evidence that Daemon was planning to kill his wife's sons, the children his daughters were engaged to. That he waited through ten peaceful years, in the book, eight in the show, without making any move on? Receipts. Provide them. Explain this plan he had and provide evidence from the show or book to support it. My evidence is B&C itself and stabbing Aemond through his false eye- niether act making sense unless they were vengeance for someone he loved.

Daemon literally mentions he is looking for an excuse to rile Aegon into action. He sees him as rash and thinks he can be goaded. Luke’s death gave him the opportunity to do something horrible and he took it.

Why a son for a son then? Why not all his kids? Why not kill Helaena? Why not everyone they could get their hands on? Why such a strike at a single son? If Daemon just wanted to do something horrible, why this limited horrible thing? If he wanted someone to report it- why not just Alicent? Kill Aegon's whole family and all the dragon riders they could get their hands on. It doesn't follow. It isn't a logical choice. It might have backfired and roused Helaena and got another dragon in the war- the only logic to it was that it wasn't logical. It was an emotional reaction. The reaction of a parent wanting the one he felt responsible for his pain to feel the same.

No man that sends two assassins to kill an innocent child while their mother and siblings look on is anything less than a coward.

Cool.

B&C and Helaena discourse is on a rise and yall know that's my roman empire so i WILL be giving my two cents (for the thousandth time😼)

First off, B&C

I see a lot of people claiming B&C was the Greens fault, but when you take a second to think you will see that nothing the Greens did as a whole caused B&C. It simply would not have happened if Aemond (1 singular green) had not killed Lucerys for taking his eye. (i believe this excuse comes more from a "well you reap what you sow this is what you get for usurping rhaenyra" mindset rather than thinking ALL the greens are directly to blame for B&C but whatevs) People argue it was Aegon's fault, too, because he celebrated Luke's death with a feast, but that's actually a headcanon. F&B states Aegon celebrated Luke's death, but it skips over any offense it caused Rhaenyra and Daemon. It only says that after learning of Luke's DEATH (not the feast) Daemon sends a letter telling Rhaenyra Luke would be avenged. It was not the feast it was the boy's death that led to B&C.

People also have been saying B&C was necessary and it simply wasn't. Jaehaerys was entirely unrelated to any issue regarding Luke, therefore it wasn't even really avenging him. Luke wasn't actually avenged until Aemond (his killer) died. B&C was not necessary to avenge Luke—it was more of an intimidation tactic on Daemon's behalf.

As for Helaena, people are saying she should've taken her kids, flown to Dragonstone, and bent the knee as per Rhaenyra's peace terms.

That's kind of just dumb lol. Rhaenyra's terms were not individual, she wanted ALL of her siblings to go to her and bend the knee, not just one. If Helaena went to Dragonstone by herself, Aegon would still be Rhaenyra's enemy. Helaena and her children, Aegon's heirs, would become high profile hostages.

Also, Helaena is the queen of the Green Faction. She was crowned by Alicent alongside Aegon. Nothing in F&B implies she's NOT in support of Aegon. If anything, she's passive. She councils him against his stupidity, but that doesn't mean she's a secret supporter of Rhaenyra.

The Greens also happen to be her closest family. Her mom and brothers—people she grew up with. If I remember correctly, she used to visit Alicent in the Tower of the Hand with her children every night. She and Aegon shared a bed until her son was killed. She was described as a happy girl, and if she was miserable, she still clearly held love for her family.

Rhaenyra, however, is a stranger to her. Not just a stranger, but also someone that would mock her mother and her siblings at court.

She had no reason to go to Rhaenyra when the war began.

People are also quite weird about the topic of her suicide, but seeing as suicide is a real issue in a way that usurping, sending assassins after a child, and feeding a boy to a dragon are NOT I won't address that. You are weird if you be laughing about suicide tho ngl.

FINAL PSA: A lot of yall like to go "I love Helaena, she so sweet and gentle and innocent and kind and cute and she's the only green I love BUT..." Yall dont like Helaena and yall CAN admit it. She's a fictional character you dont have to pretend to like her just because you have a moral superiority complex.

#daemon targaryen #anti team green #anti aegon ii targaryen #anti aemond targaryen

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procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics · 3 years ago

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Vikings + Legos

Summary: here's what would happen if you gave Vikings legos

Notes: based on this request | masterlist | requests are OPEN!

Ragnar

Will use them for strategyTM

Or so he says

His mind goes AJKKADJSDJKHFKJDSGKF LET ME BUILD EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF

The Great Hall becomes filled with buildings

Oh this? Just an improved version of Rollo’s dumb castle in Normandy 🙄

Absolute Lego king

Do not touch them! That’s punishable by death

Lagertha

Mostly annoyed bc she has to clean up the little legos that Ragnar leaves behind

She’s not sure what to do with them but gives them a try

The best at playing lego with kids

Doesn’t mind them after a while, but she always has to swerve around them

Hmm, could I use this as a defense for oblivious attackers? Or is it too cruel to make them step on legos?

It is not

Hedeby becomes very peaceful very quickly

Bjorn

ALWAYS steps on legos

His kids love them

He hates them

Throws legos at people that interrupt him in meetings or so

To him, they’re one of the most dangerous weapons known to man

Torvi is sniggering in the corner

Ubbe

Solid lego builds

Idk I feel like he’s more a Minecraft type of guy if we’re talking blocks

He enjoys playing with kids with finished builds more

Of course he’ll protect them from the dangerous lego dragon that’s *this* close to falling apart

Very careful to keep them away from Hvitserk (you’ll see why)

Hvitserk

Oml (yes, I start my Hvitserk hcs like this a lot. There’s a reason)

He’s the reason why legos are a choking hazard

Swallows two immediately

“I was only trying to get them apart with my teeth!”

Builds very creative stuff

Would go apeshit over lego flowers

Ivar

“So, these Legos, you can build things with them?”

“Yes.” Your queue to present something you made

You will receive a slightly condescending look

Ivar is a lego genius

He’ll build just about anything

They’re not your legos, they’re his legos

Will sort them by color, type and size

Gods forbid you touch them, or he will throw a tantrum

Floki

Finds them very amusing

He actually puts them to good use

Makes little models of his boats

Shares his builds with everyone

Helga gets into legos bc of him

Helga

Two words: lego flowers

She loves them

Puts them on her windowsill

She’s so happy that they don’t die, and when you give her a succulent set?

Tears of absolute joy

God I love this character

Athelstan

“So, you can build things? As in, anything?” “Yes.”

New niche interest (literally, who else has legos except Ragnar)

Expect to not see him for days

Goes into a room, stays there, builds his favorite places, comes out and cries

Absolutely beautiful builds

Like, Ragnar’s are big and Ivar’s are super complicated

But Athelstan’s are… well rounded? Idk they’re just nice

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sweet-dreams-internal-screams · 3 years ago

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Study Session HawkXfem!Reader Part 1

Study buddies with benefits has never been more fun ;)

Warnings: swearing, oral(female receiving) HJ (male receiving) weed (eventually anyways)

Notes: reader is fem for this story (I’d be happy to to gn readers)

“Ms. Y/L/N please stay after class.” Her history teacher called out during the last fifteen minutes of class, she internally sighed knowing what was coming.

“Y/N I’m concerned about your grade, it’s had a significant drop an B- to a D+ is everything alright?” Mr. Hedler asked. He looked concerned and truthfully he was right she had been struggling with this unit.

“It’s been a little rough lately, I can’t focus on the material, it’s not clicking.” She explained with a sigh. She looked down and fiddled with her thumbs, this was embarrassing, history was her BEST subject and she was falling behind.

“Listen, I understand we have a project that should boost your grades, it’ll be with partners, I have an idea-Eli Moskowitz or as the “kids” know him as Hawk.” Mr. Hedler explained.

Mohawk boy…why

“Thank You sir I’d appreciate that very much.” She responded. She headed to her next class dreading this project.

The next day Y/N walked into History her backpack draped over her shoulder, silently dreading the announcement of partners and having to deal with Hawks mouth talking shit.

This year he’d been especially…dick like, he’d gotten a revamp from earlier sophomore year. From cute oversized sweaters and soft smiles in class to a crunchy looking Mohawk and bullying Freshman who didn’t immediately kiss his ass. He’s the literal definition of an ick.

“Good Morning folks today is the first day of our History project Ancient Greece! We will be doing this project in pairs, they will be due Wednesday.” Mr. Hedler explained to the class.

He went through his list of partners, people groaned and moved their things for others to take their spots. When she got up to move to Hawks table, Y/N could hear his friends gyrating.

”My, My, My Y/N Y/L/N it’s very nice to see you.” Hawk said with a smirk eyeing her up and down “Shut up my god.” Y/N muttered rolling her eyes. Hawk and his friends chuckled. “Oh man you wound me babe.” He said holding his heart pretending to be so hurt by her words. “I just need a good grade on this project. Please can we just get it done? And don’t call me babe.” She stated looking at the criteria paper that was handed out. They decided on a slideshow presentation and got through the rest of the class without any confrontation.

As the bell rang for lunch Y/N headed to the cafeteria to find her friends who were sitting at the table talking about something and nothing at the same time. Didn’t matter, she wasn’t listening. She was nose deep in her textbook.

“Don’t you think your project would be easier if you guys actually interacted?” One of her friends asked Y/N. “Nope!” She replied suddenly Y/N’s friend waved Hawk over to their table, Y/N immediately gave her a death glare. Hawk walked up greeting the group with a cocky smile, placing a leg on an empty chair.

“Hawk, Y/N wants to ask if you’ll go over her house after school tomorrow to work on your project.” She asked. Y/N was ready to deck her.

“Well I would be delighted to Y/N! I’ll be right over after Karate, hopefully the cat won’t have your tongue by then.” He said in the most condescending tone before turning around back to his friends.

“I hate you so much right now.” Y/N whisperer yelled to her friend who just shook her head.

She was dreading tomorrow with him in her house

Fuck

FULLY RELEASED

#cobra kai imagine #cobra kai x reader #eli hawk smut #eli moskowitz x reader #cobra kai hawk #eli moskowitz #hawk x reader #cobra kai

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mini-cookie-11 · 3 years ago

Text

Analysis of "Real Gabriel"

So i'm going to write this because yes

Gabriel Agreste is a villain, and he obviously is going to receive all the hate of the fandom, mostly. And i think that's what makes him a good villain, even in a kids show. That's the point of being the antagonist.

but

He's a really complex character, as his motivations. I think the fandom hasn't spoke enough about what the actual "wish" is. Like i mostly read that people says -he wants his wife to come back alive- kinda ideas. But he has implied a lot about erasing a mistake, or thinks like that.

I totally bet on that he wants to go back and not do something, or stop Emilie on do something. And that would make all the future "invalid". At the end that's why he's so careless of even Adrien most of the time, because, as cold as it could be, he knows that it just wouldn't count.

Obviously he won't sacrifice Adrien's life because he is his son, but Gabriel is just putting all of himself in getting the cat and ladybug miraculous. Also something to point out, is that he obviously won't go so far away, because is still "his reality", idk if you get the point but i hope is clear enough xD.

Anyway, in Queen Wasp, something curious happens for just a few minuts.

Gabriel actually gave up for good. And the whole self changes.

Who is Gabriel Agreste without the burden of hope that he can save Emilie? Who is he without the miraculous, without magic?

It was just a few minuts, but it gaves enough details to make my brain go insane with ideas. I hope i can make it justice.

His motivation to break the promise he made to Emilie (maybe when she was alive, we don't know) is Adrien's safety. Also that he was powerless, all the options for him where gone.

As he was walking away, Gabriel was leaving all hope behind. And we get to see his sadness next.

Nathalie enters the room, then this.

This is something that any of them could be back from, even when Gabriel actually keeps trying to get the miraculous.

This is just her showing her attention and affection on him, he just receives it with comfort.

On Nathalies side, this whole thing of Gabriel giving up and then stop giving up, was really painful. Because, when she had her "walls", Nath knew that he just would never pay attention to her, and probably at the end she was ok with it (like i know not ok in a good way, but like she was resigned to that). But here Gabe actually received the hug without saying anything against. She was close to him physically in this particularly way; there is no coming back of knowing how it feels to embrace him. So probably all her walls just fell at that moment, there was hope, a hope that she never had in the past. And that same hope that later can mean a broken heart.

On Gabriel's side, is like "ok that happened but i still love my wife so that didn't happen" kinda way of thinking after going back to his goal. But i really think in that moment, he just let himself be and feel. It was the new taste of a future that maybe not now, but at some point, really close, he was willing to build, with Nathalie's help.

random tought: i think it was good that he didn't stop here, like aside that the whole show would have ended, but i think Gabriel needed to grow closer to Nathalie, fighting together, plotting together, maybe at this point he actually get's to know her, and that admiration for her, that she is always standing by his side, is setting the bases for something more... oh let's say it he already loves her uwu.

Gabriel showing himself in public, giving affection to Adrien.

That's it. There's the analysis.

He is loving and caring for his son, like he could have waited until Adrien ends the show. But, it was Gabriel's way to actually show and celebrate somehow that he was actually free. That he can be Adrien's father 100%, that he is proud of the little men he has become. The Agrestes are so extra, you can't change my mind xD.

This is him finding Audrey after akumatize her, with his sad eyes. At this point everything just wasn't worth it, and he harmed somehow his old friend, and later we discover that it was actually Audrey who discovers him.

You can't tell me that Gabriel dislikes Marinette, i mean, look at him. Oh this picture is so much "like father, like son" uwu. He seems really interested in Mari's talent, even happy that she is there. I don't think he would mind if she dated Adrien.

"oh but cat blanc"

I KNOW I KNOW

But as i said before, he knows that if he achieves his goal the future would be erased, and everything would be "worth it". He made them broke up to get the akuma on Marinette, that's all. im not justify him, but trying to understand how his mind works xD.

he looks soft. is my fave version of him uwu

Here Gabriel has this "proud dad" look on his face staring at Marinette xD

BUT THEN

AHHHHHHHH

CHLOE

agreste going :O

But like everything ends just right there.

Gabriel Agreste is the villain, yes, but he would be literally a different person without the burden of being Hawkmoth, having the "responsability" of a promise that he made to Emilie. All things have a cost, obviously the opportunity of saving the one he loves, is taking away Gabriel's chance for a warm present, where he can be free.

Free to be himself around his loved ones, free to actually love them the way they deserve, to feel happy and to spend time with Adrien, free to build his family again.

I'm not saying he would be good, because, yeahhhh his moral is pretty gray, like his hair, sometimes xD, but free of the past, free of his bad decisions.

Free of Emilie, in a way.

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j-j-ehlby-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Almost (c.e.)

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Word Count: ~5.9k

Summary: You and Chris were set up on a blind date by your mutual friends. Sparks flew, but you never heard from him again. Two years later, you come face-to-face with him once more for their friends wedding.

Warnings: Some angst, swearing, not much else

A/N: This is a mixture of the movie “Life as We Know It” (mmm Daddy Josh Duhamel 🤤), a dating experience I had, and one scene from One Tree Hill. Enjoy.

My Masterlist

Two years ago…

My heart is pounding all the way to my ears. My hands are shaking under the table. My knee bounces uncontrollably as I wait.

I knew this was a bad idea. Why did I let her convince me to do this?

“You haven’t had a boyfriend for as long as I’ve known you.” My best friend so pointedly mentioned when we were out to lunch last week.

“What’s wrong with that?” I counter.

“I’ve known you for three and a half years.” She deadpans. Even without looking at her, I know she has her eyebrow raised at me and her lips are pursed.

“Your point?” I know she thinks my serious lack of companionship these past few years is wearing on me, but it’s been quite the opposite. Not being attached is freeing. I can do what I want when I want; I don’t have anyone to answer to. If I want to sleep until 3 on a Saturday, I’m going to do it. If I don’t want to socialize with anyone, I won’t. If I want to take a spontaneous road trip, I’m going to do it. My life is my own and that’s how I like it.

“I want my best friend to have someone to experience life with.”

My shoulders dropped, sighing in defeat. There was no way I was getting out of this conversation.

“I want you to be as happy as I am.” I see the love in her eyes as her mind goes to her boyfriend and their new relationship. They’ve only been together for a few months, but I know that this is it for her. She’s a smitten kitten and he is equally as infatuated with her. They’re sickeningly cute. “Which is why I think you need to meet one of his friends-”

“Lemme stop you right there,” I interrupt her, “I hate blind dates.”

“You’ve never been on one.”

“And there’s a reason for that.” She rolled her eyes at me. “They’re cliché, they’re awkward for both parties, and they never amount to anything, thus being a total waste of time.”

She sighed, “Ever the skeptic.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

“Regardless,” she continues, “I think you’ll really like this guy. He’s already expressed interest in you.”

Like that makes everything better. “Great so now I have to live up to his impossible expectations of me when I know absolutely nothing about him.” As if the idea of a blind date wasn’t bad enough, now it’s only a semi-blind date. There’s no doubt in my mind that she has hyped me up impossibly high, that’s what a best friend is for. However, when your confidence level is next to none and already skeptical of the pending meeting, there’s no way he’ll like who I am in reality.

“I can tell you anything you want to know about him.” She is bargaining with me. She really wants me to meet this guy. She wouldn’t be trying this hard if she didn’t believe we would hit it off.

“Well is he nice?” This was the only real question I had. If he isn’t kind then there’s really no future.

“Incredibly!” She continues to tell me of the many things he has done for a charity he started a few years ago and slowly but surely she was starting to convince me. If he was that generous then he has to have a good heart and therefore is a good man.

How bad could it be?

I check my phone, glancing at the time. Great, he’s late. That can’t be a good start.

Numerous reasons why popped into my head.

Reason one: he saw me and bolted.

Reason two: he got into an accident on the way here and he could be in the hospital.

Reason three: he changed his mind and decided to stand me up.

More and more played through my head as I sipped my drink.

By the time I was on my second drink, I was convinced he wasn’t showing up. I knew this was a ridiculous idea. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I never should have listened to her.

I chugged the rest of my drink followed by some water before standing up to leave some cash. I was slightly humiliated for actually thinking this would be any different than all of my expectations.

My shoulder rammed into another as I turned to leave.

“Oh my, God, I’m so sorry!” A hand steadied me, gently grabbing the shoulder he ran into. “Are you okay?”

“My already small ego is a little bruised, but I think I’ll live.” I looked up to meet my assaulter’s eyes and immediately I froze.

Holy shit, it’s Chris Evans.

His piercing blue eyes were staring right at me, his concern was directed towards me. In all of his charming, ray of sunshine, bearded glory, he was here.

“I’m so sorry that I’m late. Traffic was insane over the bridge. I would have called but I don’t have your number.” He half-smirked but not in a cocky way. I’d seen him do it in interviews before. He could have come up with a lame excuse, but somehow I knew he was telling the truth.

“No, it’s okay. I understand completely.”

He sighed in relief, his gorgeous and perfect smile taking over his features. He looked down at the table and it disappeared. “Were you leaving?”

“Uh,” I stammered, “I was because I thought I was being stood up.”

“I feel awful. Please let me make it up to you. Let’s sit down, have a nice dinner, and get to know each other.”

I hesitate, now even more nervous than I was before.

As if sensing my hesitation, he decided to sweeten the pot a bit to persuade me, “We can even get dessert.”

I chuckle at his attempt. That’ll do it though. I sit back down with him following suit, finally starting our date.

We talked about everything. Anything and everything. No topic was off limits. Hours went by but it felt like minutes. We didn’t even know how long we’d been there until our waiter came to tell us that the restaurant was closed. We left and walked around the city until the night sky was giving way to the morning. He accompanied me back to my car, gave me the best hug I’ve ever received and a kiss on the cheek, promising we’ll get together again soon, and opening and closing my car door for me. I drove away with the biggest smile on my face and literal butterflies in my stomach. That was the best date I’d ever been on.

When I made it back to my apartment with the early morning rays peeking through my shades, I had a text message waiting for me from him. Just a simple good night, he had had an amazing time, and he couldn’t wait to see me again.

I fell asleep, hopeful. Hopeful that I would see him again, that this could maybe go somewhere. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but it was hard not to. I hadn’t felt this way in an exceptionally long time. I haven’t been on this good of a date in equally as long. I can’t wait to see him again…

Present day...

I finally pull into the parking lot after an hour stuck in traffic. My 12-hour day at work today has taken a lot out of me. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. Thankfully though, my 2-week-long vacation starts tomorrow. After that, I have fourteen days of no working, no getting up at the ass crack of dawn to be able to drive in miserable traffic, no dealing with difficult or boring co-workers. Just fourteen days of rest and relaxation, after the wedding of course.

My best friend and her fiancé are getting married on Saturday. I’ve watched them go through all of their highs and lows throughout the last few years and when he came to me telling me he planned on proposing, I couldn’t have been happier for them. He even asked me to secretly photograph the moment for her. She was more than surprised about everything.

Now their wedding is here and everyone couldn’t be more excited to celebrate them.

Tomorrow is their rehearsal dinner. The wedding party and their plus ones are all invited.

I walk into my apartment, immediately relieving myself from the confines of my shoes. A heavenly scent registers to me and I’m carried all the way to the kitchen. I see my sexy boyfriend standing at the stove with his back towards me.

“Hey babe,” he calls without turning around.

I hum, happily making my way towards him. I wrap my arms around his waist, placing a kiss on his back. “What is that unbelievable smell?”

He chuckles, vibrating through his chest. “Your favorite, of course.”

I hum again, “You spoil me, baby.”

He chuckles again, turning in my arms. His handsome face finally came into view. His gorgeous brown eyes look into mine as I get lost in his. For the past year, I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a while. Since the day I met him, it was like everything fell into place. He’s sweet, ambitious, funny, kindhearted, passionate, and just overall the best man I had ever met. He makes me so happy…

Oh who am I kidding? He’s perfect. He is everything I ever wanted. If I made a list of all of the qualities I wanted in a husband, he would check off every single box.

But the feelings I have had for him over the last year are nothing compared to what I had in one night for him. I find myself wishing his eyes were bright blue instead of dark brown. I wish his arms were around me instead of the ones around me right now. The butterflies from that night have stayed dormant ever since.

I don’t know what happened after that night. I honestly thought we had a good time that night. Conversations flowed seamlessly. We made each other laugh so hard we had tears running down our faces. The physical connection was there- at first he had his arm around my shoulders as we walked around town, but as time went on he slowly moved lower around my waist, eventually intertwining our hands together until we arrived back at our cars. He even said that he wanted to see me again.

But I never heard from him again after that one text message. No call, no text, not even a message from my friend’s boyfriend. Nothing. I was disappointed beyond belief. I didn’t think he was that guy: the type to ditch someone without any explanation or goodbye. I thought I understood him to be a gentleman. Everything I had read about him pointed to him being one of the purest humans in the world. This was the opposite of all of that.

From that day on, I’ve loathed him. He gave me the perfect evening and then cut me off cold turkey from anything further. I have a three strike rule. His first: he was late. His second: he tricked me into liking him. His third: he lied to me. Three strikes and he’s out.

I have tried not to look back since. It’s not without its difficulties though since he’s literally everywhere. On magazine covers, in commercials, movie trailers, streaming services- he’s there. Why did he have to be such a successful actor? If he weren’t, it would make for forgetting him that much easier.

No closure. No answers. Nothing.

The rehearsal dinner went smoothly the next night which hopefully was foreshadowing for the big day itself.

A majority of us were standing around about to start when the doors loudly being opened drew everyone’s attention away from our milling about. A man stood in the middle of the doorway then strode in like he owned the place. The closer he got, the more the details of his face came into focus.

No. Freaking. Way.

I look toward my best friend. She looked like she wasn’t shocked he was late, but she knew he was coming. I creep up behind her and clear my throat. Instantly she cringed.

“Did you forget to tell me something?” I whisper to her.

She sends me an apologetic smile, “Well, I actually put off telling you ‘cause I didn’t know how you would react and then I meant to tell you last night but with the whole ‘I’m getting married in two days’ buzz took over and now the rehearsal is here-”

“Just please tell me I’m not walking in with him.” I beg.

She chuckles nervously before she escaped to go greet him with her fiancé.

I turn to her sister who is also one of my closest friends. “Did you know he was going to be a groomsman?”

The guilt written in her face tells me everything I need to know. “She made me promise not to tell you.”

I groan, “The loyalty level around here is staggeringly low.”

I head over to where my boyfriend is standing and take comfort in his arms before I have to deal with the man who broke my heart.

“Are you okay?” He asks a little confused by my actions.

I nod, “Just tired from last night.” He chuckles at the mention of the night before, squeezing me into his chest.

“Alright everyone! Time to get started.” The wedding coordinator beckons us all to the back entrance of the barn standing next to our corresponding wedding party member. I stand right in front of the Maid of Honor and Best Man. I kept my eyes forward focusing on anything but the guy who took his place next to me.

“It’s good to see you,” He murmurs to me over the instructions of the coordinator.

I scoff and roll my eyes. He has the nerve to say that to me after two years of silence. I imagined a million times what it would be like to see him again. I’d imagined a lot of screaming with possible hitting. Or I thought about the ever-effective, old fashioned silent treatment. He doesn’t deserve to know that our one night out together effected me so much and I’ve carried a rather large torch for him ever since. At the very moment, it will be the latter, but there’s no telling what tonight and tomorrow will bring.

“Now ladies, rest- don’t grab- your hand near the crook of his arm. Men, keep your arm at that angle with an open hand resting on your stomach- no fist. And don’t forget to smile- this is a happy day!” As quickly as he showed up, the coordinator was on to the bride and her father before either of us could register he was there.

I begrudgingly did as I was instructed, “resting” my hand on his bare forearm, holding a stand-in bouquet for the occasion in my other hand.

“Are you not going to talk to me?” He speaks again but I ignore him once more.

Thankfully that was when it was our turn to walk down the aisle. For the rest of the rehearsal, he didn’t get a chance to say anything else. As soon as we were done, I go straight for my boyfriend. I figured there’s no way he would approach me if I were with another man.

We all head to the restaurant afterwards to celebrate the last night before our friends begin their lives together as husband and wife. I keep my distance from Chris, always sticking close with my boyfriend.

The one moment I was alone was when I went to the bathroom. I thought for the few minutes I wouldn’t be in danger.

However I was wrong.

As soon as I step out an arm shot out in front of me. A very pale muscular arm.

“Are you seriously going to ignore me for the next two days?”

I duck under his arm fully planning on continuing what I set out to do.

“Y/N,” he grabs my arm, “will you please talk to me? What did I do to make you so mad at me?”

I whip around hopefully sending daggers his way. “Are you serious right now?”

“She finally speaks!” He exclaims.

“Because I cannot believe what I’m hearing. Like, I don’t think I heard you right.” All of the feelings I’ve been burying for two years were making their way up to the surface and I don’t think I can stop them. “We had a fantastic night. It was literally the best night of my life, it was the most comfortable with a guy that I had ever been. You made me laugh, you gave me butterflies, you helped me feel for the first time in years.” I try to swallow down the lump that was forming in my throat. “You told me you wanted to see me again. You made me excited for the future for once in my life… and then you took it away.”

With every second that passed, his expression got closer and closer to utter defeat: his shoulders slumped, his grip on my arm loosened, his jaw slowly unclenched, his eyebrows furrowed.

“You were late,” I hold up one finger, “You tricked me,” two fingers,” “You lied to me.” Three fingers were up and in front of his face for emphasis. “Three strikes and you’re out.”

I back away from him, having nothing more I wanted to say. As soon as I turned the corner, I felt liberated… for about five seconds. When that passed, devastation hit. For the last two years, I’ve held out hope- I tried not to- but I did, that maybe someday something could happen between us. That maybe, just maybe, we could pick up where we left off that night.

Now that the moment of confrontation has come and gone, I feel all the hope fade away. All of those possibilities I pictured have left the building. Being with him is no longer an option. I have my boyfriend who makes me happy, who gives me everything I could possibly want.

The rest of the night went on without another incident. Chris kept his distance. However, I could feel his eyes on me for every second that passed as we sat at the table. It was a relief when we finally left and could retreat back to our hotel rooms for the night. The bride and I got to stay in a suite that we’ll all be getting ready in in the morning. They wanted to uphold the “not seeing each other the night before the wedding,” even though they’ve lived with each other for a year and a half now.

On the wedding day, everything went according to plan. Everyone was on time to hair and make-up, pictures went flawlessly, the weather cooperated with everything, Chris didn’t attempt to talk to me at all- it was a perfect day to watch two people who love each other commit to the other for the rest of their lives.

But then came the reception. That’s when I knew apparently all bets would be off. The ceremony was over. Niceties would wear off as more and more alcohol is consumed. I was not looking forward to it.

We make our ridiculous entrances and take our seats at the head table. We eat then speeches were made. Lots of laughs were had as the Best Man dished on stories he had with the groom growing up, a few tears were shed at her sister’s after recounting the moment the bride knew he was the man of her dreams- overall I’d say they were a success.

Again, I felt his eyes on me, burning holes in the side of my head from the other side of the groom for the entire dining portion of the evening. I kept myself from glancing in his direction, instead focusing on the conversations with the bride’s sister next to me and my boyfriend who is across the way- anything not to meet his eyes.

Finally the DJ announces it was time for all to convene on the dancefloor after the specialty dances. I immediately see my boyfriend start to stand, knowing he’d been ready for this all night. I’d been looking forward to dancing with him all night as well, I even removed my shoes in anticipation. As I stand up, a hand is held out in front of me. I knew whose hand it was. I remember staring at it as he would rub his lips on our date. The strength of it as it intertwined with mine as we walked down the streets of our town, the safeness I felt as he squeezed it if he detected I was getting anxious around a group of people and I needed the reassurance. I knew that hand well, unfortunately.

“Dance with me?” He nearly whispers in my ear. I didn’t realize he was that close until I could feel said whisper on my neck. I contain the shiver that runs down my spine at how husky his voice is. God I’ve missed that…

No! I will not be enchanted by him again. He does not deserve me.

I exhale the breath I was holding, it comes out a lot harsher than I expected. “No, thank you.” I turn away from him, but his hand gently grabs my arm stopping me from going any further.

He whispers again, “He’s not good enough for you,” before walking away.

I’m frozen in place. I glare at his retreating back as he makes his way over to the bar. My mouth hangs open in disbelief. How dare he… How fucking dare he assume anything about me or my relationship. He doesn’t know anything about what our relationship is like. My boyfriend treats me so well, spoils me even though I know I don’t deserve it. He listens to me, he cares about me, and he makes me laugh until I cry- he’s everything I’ve wanted in a man. Chris is the one who had his chance and subsequently blew it. He has no right to judge or even comment on my relationship when he knows absolutely nothing about it.

I hurriedly make my way to my awaiting boyfriend and pull him onto the crowded dancefloor. “You okay?” He asks me, “Did he say something to upset you?”

“Nothing worth repeating.” All I wanted to do was forget about him and his irrelevant feelings towards my relationship…

…Except I couldn’t. His words rattled me. Does he see something I don’t? He told me on our date that he’s an excellent judge of character so he wouldn’t say something like that unless he got a bad feeling, right? Either that or he said it just to get under my skin and force me to talk to him. No matter the reason I hate him for it because my pride won’t let it stand.

I spot him leaning against the bar, staring directly at the two of us over the rim of his glass. His perfect eyebrow quirks up at the eye contact, that sets my blood to boiling. He thinks he’s so smug. I wish I could just slap that stupid hidden smirk right off his perfect face…

Following a few dances, I mutter something about him going to dance with the bride to my boyfriend before exiting the dancefloor. I rush out of the barn, away from the crowd needing some air from his suffocating gaze. I find a little lit area that’s perfect for pictures. There are rectangular hay bales set together as a makeshift U-shaped bench with some low watt bulbs strung up above between two poles. It would be serene if I weren’t already on edge.

After taking a few deep breaths, I finally feel like I can speak without yelling. “You had no right.”

I didn’t have to turn around to know he followed me out here. It’s exactly what I wanted him to do, just like it was his intention to get under my skin. As much as I wished to avoid this conversation it seems that we can’t go on without it. We may tear each other apart in the process, but this is my chance for closure. This is my only opportunity to get the answers I’ve been needing to move on for the past two years. Two years of wondering what went wrong after the most perfect date I’ve ever been on with an equally perfect man has been eating at my heart and mind. I hated always wondering “what if” or “what would I be doing right now if I were with him” especially when I started dating my boyfriend. I had no answers as to why those questions could not be. I thought with time I’d stop asking them, thinking I’d never see the man again. He’s a big movie star, why would he wonder about a woman he went on one date with?

As I expected, his deep baritone voice comes behind me, but his words do little to ease my nerves. In fact they set them off even more so than before. “I’m sorry.”

I scoff at his half-hearted apology, knowing he doesn’t mean it at all. “Oh bite me, Christopher.” I turn around to face him. God he looks even better out here. The subtle gold glow from the lights are complimenting his skin tone, they make his baby blues shine which just frustrates me more.

“Please, Y/N,-” He takes a step closer to me, but I won’t have that.

“No,” I take a step back keeping the needed distance between us for fear I may strangle him. “I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit excuses. You had no right to pass judgment on a relationship that you know absolutely nothing about.”

He slips his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. “Oh, I’ve seen enough.”

“Really?” I jut my hip out, resting my hand on it. “In the two days you’ve been here, you think you’ve got us all figured out?”

“Yes,” he answers with conviction.

My shaking hands clench into fists, trying my damnedest not to lose control. I entangle them into my hair as best as I can without ruining the work the hairstylist did this morning before running them down my face. He has some nerve.

“We had one night. One night! One nearly perfect night together and suddenly that makes you an expert on what is good for me?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘an expert’-”

“I wouldn’t say anything!” I interrupt, “I never heard from you again. Now after two years, you come in here acting like you know anything about me or my relationship? Who do you think you are?”

“A man who made a mistake!” He snaps.

There was a long pause. I never expected to hear that from him. All these years I wanted to think the worst of him for leaving me hanging like that. He got my hopes up, thinking we may have a future together only for them to come crashing back down to Earth when he never contacted me again. I wondered and wondered if maybe I read the signals wrong. Maybe I took his flirting as more than it was. Maybe the small gestures like his arm around my shoulders, on the small of my back, or the hand holding were only him being friendly. I wracked my brain going over every single detail of the night to try and pinpoint a reason for him not to have called me afterwards. I found nothing, which was equally as frustrating.

“Alright, I made a mistake.” He moves to sit on one of the hay bales. He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his head in his hands, letting out a huge sigh. “God I wanted everything with you.”

Once again, I’m frozen by his words. He what? But that doesn’t make sense. His words and his actions don’t line up- how could that be?

He removes his hands from his face, staring at the grass. “After that night, I wanted it all. I wanted to settle down, get the house with a white picket fence in the suburbs, carry you through the threshold after our wedding day, bring our children home from the hospital, watch them grow until we’re old and gray. I wanted everything.”

My heart aches. All of that was exactly what I wanted, especially with him. I could feel the tears building behind my eyes, my heart breaking mourning the loss of what we could have had by now if he had only said something.

I also find my anger growing as well. If he felt all of that, why did he not contact me again? Why did he give me hope that our night out together could have been the start of something good and then taken it away just as quickly?

“But?” There had to be a “but” coming after his statement. Clearly something stopped him from pursuing the possibility of “us,” destroying any future we could have had.

He sighs, “but…” he finally looks up at me with more emotion in his eyes than I was expecting. There was contemplation, confusion, honesty, agony…

I look away. In an instant I knew what he was about to say. It makes complete sense. He was at the height of his career, shooting movie after movie all around the world for a majority of the year. How would he have had time to have a relationship mixed in with that? He couldn’t.

“Your career was more important,” I interject, “I get it. I do.” I couldn’t fault him for choosing work over someone he just met, no matter how much he claims to have liked me right off the bat. He was going to be busy. We probably wouldn’t have had a lot of time to see each other. It’s not like I could give up my career to follow him. Besides even if I could have, he wouldn’t want that. He said so himself. He wanted someone who was independent; who could do their own thing and not be enveloped in his crazy life.

He stands up and steps closer to me, “no, that wasn’t it. I promise you that wasn’t it.”

There’s that word. Promise. He promised we’d see each other again soon after our night together. But he broke that.

“Then what was it?” My voice cracks at the end. I can feel my reserves slipping the more he speaks. I didn’t realize how much I missed his voice until now. I haven’t seen any of the movies he’s been in the last few years. I have him and his hashtag blocked on all social media platforms so I don’t see anything of his on any of my timelines. My other friends think I don’t like him (only my best friend and her now husband know about our date). To hear it again brings back all of the good memories we made together in that short night and all of the emotions I’ve been holding back since. “I have been wracking my brain for years wondering what went wrong after that.”

“I got scared,” he finally admits the truth. “I got scared of how much I liked you and how much I wanted to protect you.”

“From what?”

“From me,” he casts his gaze down at his hands as he fidgets with them, “and my life. I didn’t want to subject you to the chaos that is my life. I know what my fans would do to you if we were in a relationship, I was trying to protect you from all of the ugly that being with me comes with.”

So that’s what he was afraid of? He was afraid our relationship would inevitably end exactly like his last one? His “fans” were horrible to her. They sent death threats to her and her family members, always commenting negatively on her social media pages all because she was dating him. I remember reading about it right after it happened. I knew that side of his fandom was toxic. But did I care? No. Did I think I couldn’t handle it? I honestly don’t know, but would I have been willing to deal with it for him? Yes. I would have given up anything to be with him. That’s precisely why he did what he did. He didn’t want me giving anything up for him because he knows I’d be giving up any semblance of privacy I had if I were in a public relationship with him.

If I had known these were the reasons why he ghosted me, I would have been broken hearted but I would have understood. Hell, I probably would have fallen more in love with him if I knew that, not fallen in loathe.

He continues, “I thought that if I never contacted you again, you could move on”- he clears his throat-“and find someone better than me who could give you the normal life you deserve. Which as much as I wish I couldn’t, I see that you have…” he pauses as if deciding whether he should keep speaking. When I don’t stop him, he does, “But I can’t help feeling like that could have been me.”

My slightly shaky hands cover his fidgeting ones. His hand moves until he’s intertwining our fingers together, palms touching. They fit perfectly together as if they were each other’s missing puzzle piece. His thumbs stroke mine sending warmth down my arms all the way down to my toes. The sparks I felt back then return with full force. He leans down, pressing his forehead against mine. My heart is beating out of my chest, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t feel it in some way.

I feel my heart break in my chest. My lip quivers and the tears threaten to make themselves known. My only saving grace is the fact that he can’t see my face. I may lose it completely if he did.

His breath is coming out equally as shaky between us, he squeezes my hands as if he doesn’t want me to let go. Believe me, I don’t want to. I bring one of our interlocked hands up to my lips. I kiss the back of his hand because I can’t kiss him where I want to. I pull back just enough to see his beautiful baby blues that could have any woman in the world swoon. They were terribly bloodshot right now but that only made them more tragically breathtaking. I tear one of my hands out of his and bring it to his cheek. He leans into it, a tear drops into the crevices between the contact.

The barely above whisper that came out was all I could muster without having a total breakdown because he’s right. It could have been him. We could have been something great. We could have built a life together. We could have had it all. And it broke my heart into a million pieces knowing all of this could have been avoided if life had handed both of us different lives.

“It almost was.”

~*~

Taglist: @the-marvel-wars @elusive-beauty @drakesfiance @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @fantasy-is-my-reality @princess-evans-addict

#almost #Chris Evans #christopher robert evans #christopher evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans drabble #chris evans oneshot #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #jj ehlby writes

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svhnflwr · 3 years ago

Text

%! free soul(s)

× lee donghyuck (haechan)

SYNOPSIS! two trouble making kids find thrill from their boring lives through stealing, some may say they were truly free souls, or maybe just one of them.

INCLUDES! fluff, angst, high school au, bad boy!haechan, rich boy!haechan but he hates it, gn!reader, i literally took "lost & found" episode from "a girl from nowhere" and ran with it

NOTES! everything presented is purely fictional and does not reflect on real life. i also do not condone the actions presented. this is like really bad too, i might rewrite it better (and longer + more detail) when im less busy if i feel like it too bc i havent writte in so long omg. NOT EDITED I GOT LAZY OOPS

WORD COUNT! 2.6k

“Yes, thank you so much for bringing Mr. Donghyuck in. We will be very honoured to have such an amazing student study at our school,” smiled the principal, eyes focused on the hefty stack of cash inside the silver suitcase placed on top of his desk.

“With this little gift, on behalf of my boss we trust our sir under your care,” Mr. Lee’s assistant gestured for a handshake at the principal.

Haechan’s eyes rolled at the fake kindness that dripped from the voices of the principal and his father’s assistant.

His eyes scanned the interior of the principal’s office, analyzing the vast amount of valuables that were simply placed out in the open. Particularly, a decorative coin with a pure gold rim and a large sparkly diamond in the center caught his eyes. The corner of his lips curved a little with determination as he fidgeted with a random coin in his pocket.

He eyed the adult pair beside him. The principal was too focused on the stupidly large amount of cash inside the silver suitcase that the assistant was presenting to him. He stalled for a moment to wait for the perfect timing.

The two men stood up from their chairs and proceeded to a firm handshake, insinuating that the business they discussed was over, Haechan too, then, stood up. He attempted to cover up any suspicious movements from his end with the motion of slinging his bag over his shoulder. He angled his body away from the two adults and angled the bag so it would be covered from the security camera’s range perfectly.

The switch was swift as both he and the assistant exited the office without being stopped. He took the coin out of his pocket and analyzed it closely once more. The diamond glittered majestically, reflecting light from all kinds of directions as the pure gold rim weighed down at the palm of his hands. His features remained neutral, unamused at how simple it was to steal it. He craved much more excitement.

“Everyone, I want to introduce you to our new student, Lee Donghyuck. Please introduce yourself.”

Haechan cringed at his given name.

“Hi.” He didn’t want to elaborate. An awkward aura filled the classroom for a few seconds before the teacher guided him to an empty seat at the back of the class.

The door was suddenly slung open the second he took a seat.

“Oh, you’re here. Class, we have a second new student. With a great first impression of being late.”

You entered the class with hands inside the pockets of your sweater, face neutral as if the fact that the teacher already semi-ridiculed you did not affect you in the slightest.

You stood in front of the class and took your hands out of your pockets for a bit and gave a monotonous introduction, not saying more than a simple greeting and your name. The teacher handed you a textbook and directed you to the seat beside Haechan.

The teacher continued the class by firstly handing out a pop quiz.

“You two are new but you were expected to have learned the same content at your previous schools,” she stated sternly, placing the papers in front of both of you.

When she walked away, you eyed her a few times before taking out a piece of paper from underneath your textbook that you just received. Haechan’s eyes wander over only to realize that the sheet of paper was the answer key to that precise quiz.

Haechan was slightly amused.

The door to the rooftop creaked at the rust from the hinges. He approached you, leaning over on the railing as he extended a sandwich over to you.

“Now did you buy that or did you steal it for me?” you inquired him without sparing a glance.

Haechan smiled.

“Take a guess. I’m sure you are smart enough to figure that out,” he replied, extending the sandwich once more. Your lips curved upwards at his reply, taking the item from his hands.

“So, why do you steal?” he asked you.

“I’m not obligated to answer that.”

“You aren’t.”

There was a short silence between the both of you, but it wasn’t awkward. In fact, the chilly wind that blew by wasn’t as cold as it was supposed to be. It turned out to be a little more comforting than you would’ve thought.

“Just ‘cause. It’s fun. Sometimes I’ll steal useful things like the quiz answers but I tend to turn to things people say are hard to steal.”

“Oh really? So you must be confident with your skills,” he challenged. He hadn’t even realized the slow and more genuine smile that was growing into his features. “You want to have a small competition? On who can steal the more valuable objects.”

You allowed his proposition to stall for a little while. You hummed sarcastically as if to create suspense, which Haechan most definitely noticed.

“Sure. I think it’s you who should prove yourself more.” You gestured towards the sandwich. “This isn’t exactly impressive.”

Both of your eyes burned with a flint of determination.

To say the least, Haechan was impressed. And vice versa for you.

The next few days were spent with the two of you stealing objects from left to right, the value of each only increasing exponentially. Both of you equally showed skillful sleight of hand tricks to sneak them right under the nose of your victims.

Each and every time it felt that Haechan was one-upping you. The objects he managed to take got bolder and bolder each time. From wallets to valuable tech items from other students and teachers to rare paintings in the art exhibition that was personally funded by the principal, Haechan always tried to find a way to surpass you. And each time, he did it with the widest smile on his face.

“Have you ever been caught?” you asked as you were wiping the board with him. You two stayed behind for clean-up duty. His hands stopped at the question.

“Nope, never have.”

“You are a liar.”

“And you are a thief?”

You two giggled at the obvious being stated.

“I’m fast at running. They may have seen me steal but never managed to catch me,” he said as he put away the last few things in the classroom.

Your eyebrows rose in question at his statement.

“HEY, STOP IT THERE YOU THIEVES!!”

The two of you pulled up your hoods tightly over your heads as you ran through the late-night streets. You could feel the blood pump through your ears, the adrenaline running fresh through your veins. You held the stolen can of cola you had on one hand and looked to your side and caught a glimpse of Haechan’s genuine smile as he looked back to see if they were still being chased. He almost looked like he was a shining star in the middle of the dark knight.

Turning sharply into a corner of an alleyway, you two barely managed to escape the angry storekeeper. The angry yells only got quieter and quieter and got farther and farther away from the direction they were hiding at.

The world paused for a moment as you two were catching your breaths. Your vision felt like it cleared for a second and your senses sharpened as well. You turned your head over and looked into Haechan’s eyes, feeling a fiery sensation inside your chest.

Haechan’s smile bloomed onto his features like a reflex and laughed at the situation you two were in. He took out the can of lemon soda from his pocket and cracked it open, only for the pressure accumulated in the can to explode all over him. His eyes looked for yours, almost like a lost puppy for a second, and later laughed at each other due to the nature of the situation.

You opened your can of cola, the same thing happened to you. A fit of laughter broke out once more. You two got into a squatting position, still messing around a little more and really enjoying the moment. Your mind could only be filled with the overflow of emotions you were going through at the moment.

It would be an understatement to say that Haechan was feeling precisely the same as you did. His pupils were dilated as he carefully looked at your smile beaming as well as the way the corner of your eyes crinkle at how much you are laughing and enjoying yourself. His heart was beating fast and at that point, he couldn’t tell if it was because of the amount of running or if it was because of something else.

You started to calm down and felt the surge of fatigue hit you. The blood that was rushing from end to end of your body was slowing down and you felt a little faint. Naturally, you leaned your head on Haechan’s shoulder, exhaling at the foreign yet comfortable relief.

It was a feeling that confused you.

“Let’s steal something even grander this time,” you popped your head on the table beside Haechan, your faces ending up only inches apart. It was a feeling that Haechan was starting to grow fonder of every counting day.

“Like what?” he asked. The grandest thing the two of you stole together in the past was the painting from the school back when you both first met. Anything greater than that would probably serve too much of a higher risk. The specifics had you thinking for a bit.

“Hmm, something that no one would even come up with.”

Haechan thought that that was still a very vague answer. Your face then suddenly lit up, as if you finally thought of the best idea you’ve ever had.

“What about the principal’s office?”

“I’ve already analyzed his office and other than extremely obvious valuables that would directly point arrows at us, there is nothing in his office,” Haechan replied. Part of his answer held truth but also partly held some doubt about such a bold idea. He wanted to be a little more careful now that he had something else to worry about when stealing.

You then smiled at his tone, taking it as a challenge.

“You may not know this, but you know the giant portrait of himself that is right behind his desk?” He nodded, recalling the memory of the daunting-looking portrait he saw on his first day.

“Well, behind that lies a safe. With lots of money,” you emphasized the “lots”.

Haechan never thought that a proposition from you could bore him. The idea of money never appealed to him since he didn’t need it. He stole things for the thrill of it.

“I know that face and no it’s not about the money, though it is a plus. It’s because it would be hard to steal it. You know I steal only because it’s fun. The harder it is to steal, the more amusing it is to do it. So we got a deal?”

Haechan couldn’t have agreed to anything more quickly.

“Alright, the principal just left the main building. You can enter his office. Don’t forget the blind spots of the camera as I mentioned,” you talked into his earpiece. You typed away onto your computer, breaching the firewall of the security system.

“I’m still mad you never told me that you could hack and breach firewalls,” Haechan talked back.

“A true magician never reveals its secrets.”

He couldn’t disagree with that so he just proceeded with the plan.

He carefully wiggled through the area of the office, referring back to the mental map he drew with the blind spots. Sliding the portrait, he immediately found the safe and got to work. He turned the dial slowly and listened carefully for the clicks of the lock.

Once he got it open, he found the stack of documents that were supposed to lead him to all the extra money that the principal kept for himself, which included large sums that were supposed to go to funding the school but instead were kept for alleged personal use.

“I got the documents!” he whispered-yelled, “is the coast still clear?”

No response.

“Hey, you there?!”

No response.

The door then opened with a bang and the lights flickered on. There stood the principal with guards which he assumed were the police behind him. There was only disappointment in the eyes of the principal, which was a look he was far too familiar with.

Another pair of guards come in through the door, with you passing through them.

“They have nothing to do with this! Th-”

“Oh, they have everything to do with this,” the principal interrupted. You took out two USB flashes and handed one to the principal and the other to the guard behind you.

“That’s all the evidence I collected,” you simply stated in the same monotonous tone Haechan first heard on your first day at the school. A sudden weight that was never there plummeted onto his chest and shoulders. For all the foreign new feelings he felt during his time with you, this was the first one he didn’t want to welcome in.

“Mr. Donghyuck, you will be severely punished for committing such a crime.”

Though that was the least of his concerns. He continued to eye you as his arms became restrained and were being escorted out. His eyes were burning fire at the betrayal but also were watering like dark clouds that were about to pour. He couldn’t definitely distinguish what he was feeling anymore.

But he knew that he would never what the heck it was.

“Mr. Lee Donghyuck, you have a visitor.”

Haechan regretted going out to see his mysterious visitor. You sat there similar to when you did in the past when you were face to face, with a smile that he once saw as something that he constantly sought. Now, he just wanted to rip it off your face.

“What brings you here,” he tried to keep a neutral tone, though holding so many strong emotions for the person sitting right in front of you proved quite difficult.

“I just thought you’d want to hear an explanation,” you simply said as you crossed your arms and got comfortable in your seat.

“Listen Donghyuck-”

“Haechan. You know more than anyone how much I hate my given name.”

“Hm right, as if that matters now. Anyways, Haechan, you probably want to know why right?”

He didn’t even try to fight it anymore. He simply nodded so you could stop blabbering endlessly.

“Well, I just thought it would be fun to, let’s say, try something new.”

That was his last straw.

In the end, everything for you was just something to be played with and once the fun aspect of it would run low, you’d just discard it. A true puppet master, the only one with free will, a free soul. Anger pumped through his blood, sense not processing through his brain as he launched forward towards you. The guards managed to somewhat hold him back and back into his detention cell.

The last image of you he saw was your wide smile that looked exactly the same as the one he saw at the alley back then after stealing a couple of sodas.

But this time, the smile was looking down at him and his now trapped soul that would never be free.

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