#my isolation actually giving me accumulated brain damage i already have 5x constant its giving me +3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bbqhooligan · 3 months

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im genuinely so lost. every once in a while someone tells me im the most distinguished person they know, claim anyone who talks to me for a minute would know im wise, im cartoonishly iconic or charismatic all the while ive spent the last 5 months feeling so alienated and lonely and invisible its unreal. like. i know what they mean by the compliments, theyre referring to how they know me, what they have known me to be. i recognize the adjectives as describing myself. and i wont oppose them. but like... thats really not how it Feels living as me tbh. i feel VERY abnormal, inadequate and outcasted. the duality is jarring. i am both meme to the extreme

#mypost #theres no reason to argue im not those things either. after days of being ignored like im a wall someone acknowledges me to my face and i #immediately turn on the Good Humored Friendly Persona. im nice to them for a couple mins/ we go our separate ways/ i go back to being unsee #and it IS my fault and my doing and it IS by my hand #YEAH #but like. its so weird #i think im #making myself worse fr #my isolation actually giving me accumulated brain damage i already have 5x constant its giving me +3 #long ass way to say i feel unloved and uncared for tbh #im so far away from people In My Soul #im no ones most important WHICH IS SOMETHING I GENUINELY ADVOCATE FOR FOR EVERYONE ALWAYS #but gonna be honest gamers. the lack of a positive and dependable family ties isnt something one can shoulder with #a handful of friends it seems #im in desperate need of support

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