#my irl who I’ve known for maybe four years and have lived wi th for most of this time called me her best friend earlier this year and I was
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I think I just inherently am worried that I am a bad and unlovable person and am kinda waiting for everyone to realize that
#deity dialogue#which is bad I know#I’m just worried people are always going to get tired of me and leave me and like#it has happened and I know that doesn’t mean it’ll happen every time but I just am always so worried#it just makes me sad because I’m never comfortable thinking I’m more than an acquaintance to people#like I’ll have someone call me their friend or even best friend and I’m shocked like idk#it’s like im glad because now i can like also truly be like ‘yay that’s my best friend!!’#my irl who I’ve known for maybe four years and have lived wi th for most of this time called me her best friend earlier this year and I was#taken aback even though they and their fam also calls me their adopted family memeber#idk I don’t know my place in people’s lives and I don’t like to assume#I don’t want to call someone my best friend and be devastated when they tell me we aren’t ya know??#the fear of rejection and being abandoned is just a lot oops#sorry I wasn’t even sad when I wrote this I kinda am now but like#I know I am loved and that people care about me it’s just hard to really grasp or believe
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