#my internet is working so bad rn so idk if this will get sent right now or next hour orz

[bitter--boxx]

family reunion

[cyncerity]

hi everyone! little bit of an update!!

to those of you waiting for the next part in the store shifter au: it’s almost done, i swear.

the rest of this is a lengthy explanation cause y’all know me, i can’t write something short. tldr will be bolded at the bottom if you don’t wanna read all this.

i wanna explain something real quick: in my early years of middle school, i was into creepypasta, which pipelined into Marble Hornets, which pipelined into a ton of other slenderverse series. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an ARG with an emphasis on characters being stalked or hunted by Slenderman. All of them are really really good in their own way and do interesting things with not only Slendy, but adding their own new big bad’s and lore and i’d highly recommend watching one if you haven’t yet. (i may make a separate post about which you should watch based on what kind of content you most enjoy cause i really want to indoctrinate more people into this)

My favorite slenderverse at the time had a very big emphasis on early November, specifically November 11th. So i started to have a little tradition of watching those videos every November 11th even after the hyperfixation had faded just for a bit of nostalgia.

Fast forward to now- it has snowballed to the point where every year for over half a decade now, November 11th rolls around and I am thrown violently headfirst back into my slenderverse phase. I cannot control it. I’ll be like “ok this year i’ll be normal about it, after this long, surely watching one video won’t spiral me again” and it always fucking does. No other hyperfixation i’ve ever had has functioned on a calendar cycle so idk wtf this is. This is the 6th year of this. I cannot escape.

So yeah, per how it’s been since middle school, November-January my main hyperfixation will be slenderverse. It could be shorter, it could be longer, but that’s the general pattern i’ve noticed over the years. After that i’ll pretty much be back to normal.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not taking a 3 month hiatus or anything. I promise i will do my best to get the store shifter au part out before fucking 2024. But if you’ve sent me an ask recently and i’ve ignored it, i’m genuinely so sorry, but i can’t force myself to work on new stuff right now when mcyt g/t isn’t my main interest. I’ll do my best to get to it eventually when the hyperfixation comes back a bit more, i do read and process and think about every single ask i receive and it always makes my day when i get a new ask, but yeah. For the next few months i’m probably only gonna be working on and posting stuff that’s been in the works, are from asks that we’re given to me like a year ago and already have wips in progress to answer them, or art that i just haven’t given you yet.

on the other hand, if you’re reading this and you like creepypasta or slenderverse stuff, i’ve created what i think is literally my 5th fucking blog! @cynningly <-i’ve been spamming this for like 4 days cause i refuse to be normal about slenderverse stuff, but follow there if you want horror stuff and so far just a bunch of really shitty edits of internet arg sexyman villains. Also yes all of my blogs have to have “cyn” in the name somewhere, that’s how you can tell it’s me lmao

tldr:

my hyperfixations switched up again, im really into slenderverse (slenderman-centric args) at the moment and likely will be till January. This is a cycle that’s been going on for years now. made an alt for it -> @cynningly

I will still be working to post mcyt g/t stuff, but only stuff that’s a wip or has been in the works for a while. to anyone who has sent an ask recently: sorry, but i can’t take on making new stuff when my focus isn’t purely on mcyt rn. I will do my best to get to it eventually and if you’re one of the people who’s sent a story request or ask recently i truly, truly appreciate it. y’all make my day. but, yeah, that’s what’s going on with me lol

[bi-moonlight]

.

[disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope]

@grunnies watched it sooner than i expected 😂

- watched cinderella 2015 today so my sister decided we should watch cinderella 3, she loves this one a lot.

- I feel extra bad for cinderella in this movie cause when she finally got her happy ending, it goes back in time, when she finally reaches the prince he doesn’t remember her, when he almost remembers SHE IS ALMOST DEPORTED, WHEN SHE IS GETTING READY TO MARRY SHE GETS STUCK IN A PUMPKIN LIKE OMG LET HER BREATH

- love cinderella and the prince cute interactions so much

- I don’t have a favorite step sister in the og movie, but I really love Anastasia in the sequels. Glad disney made her sympathetic

- the evil step mother is even worse here. Everytime she’s on screen I have chills. She really wants revenge and goes too far imo 😭😭😭 SHES TOO OP REVERSING TIME???? WOMAN CHILL. She could have made herself queen right there with the wand but noooooo she WANTED cinderella to know they knew she was the girl from the ball while seeing other girl take her place. She had to made a point of destroying cinderella deeper than ever. Pure evil

- the animation is so good and clean for a straight to dvd disney sequel. Cinderella looks extra pretty here I think

- the songs are really good ngl. I love the cinderella song so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I sing that "I want much more than dream" (that’s how it goes in the pt dub idk the eng lyrics😶)

- SHE GETS INTO THE CASTLE WITH A SMILE 😭😭😭😭 PURE & CLEVER CHILD. The men smiling too kkkkkkkk

- idk the name of this blue dressed lady but I was so happy when I saw she was in the movie cause I recognized her from cinderella 2 😭. It then she was a big pain in the ass…. Don’t remember how she was in the other movie but I suspect bossy there too

- cinderella is so clever. She would have done this whole mission so fast if the others didn’t have the wand

- the prince is so lovable and unintentionally funny I love him 😭😭😭😭😭

- NOT HIM SAYING THE ONLY CLUE HE HAS IS THE SHOE SIZE. BOY YOU STARED AT HER THE WHOLE BALL. YOU MUST HAVE PICKED ON OTHER FEATURES 😭

- HIS FACE WHEN HE ENTERS THE ROOM. HIS NOSTRILS. "AM I IN THE RIGHT ROOM?"

- he did know it wasn’t Anastasia so I guess he did pick on other features

- he tried so hard to make them leave in the most polite way. He’s precious

- I was never a fan of how Cinderella’s hair looks let down but I do like seeing it with the white cloth headband thing

- THE WAY SHE SMILES AT HIM AND HES LIKE 😃 "you need help hun?”

- "maybe it was another prince" 😒

- the way he knows her from the feel of her hands sounds really stupid tho. Maybe her hands are so damaged from the years she spent working that her hands really are like any other 🙂 but like, she was wearing gloves at the ball SO HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW HER HANDS FEEL LIKE 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨😳

- jaq and Gus are such good friends. They really saved the day. Encouraging her to go after the prince, spying for her, singing the events to the prince…. True friends

- I wanna eat every cake in that room. But like omg they cooked all that in 1 day or something? Rich people things

- the way the prince is describing Anastasia to the king…. He’s such a gentleman…. He really would have described her like that even without the spell i believe. He’s just that nice

- my sister really doesn’t give 2 shits about the 1st cinderella movie, but she loves this one so much. And the prince even ranks in her faves along with Shang and Flynn

- Anastasia dancing is EXACTLY like me in the obligatory dance classes we had at school during PE 😬 having bad memories rn

- it actually hurts how she believes he’s in love with her despite the magic….. girl deserved better

- love the shell and the story

- cinderella is such a boss in this movie. Got into the castle like it’s hard and now is undercover in the lion’s mouth

- she’s so sassy with the step mother oh I love it "we’ve won" " I don’t think so" TELL HER

- Lúcifer on screen is always a bad time I really hate that cat

- sliding on the stairs’ rail cause she tends to lose her shoes on the stairs

- SHE GETS THE WAND BUT IS STILL STOPPED OH I HATE THIS SO MUCH SHE WAS ALMOST THERE

- their bodies on the mirror I can’t cope

- this whole talking to the rats scene is so hilarious 😂😭 love how he just goes along with the craziness. He’s trying, so patinete and willing to listen. A KEEPER

- the song IS A BOP

- my sister hates how she loves the movie so much and has watched it many times but I’m the only of the 2 who knows the lyrics of the songs kkkkkk 😂

- HIM CALLING HER CINDERELLI TOO 😭😭😭😭 that’s precious

- POOR FUCKING KING HIS SON IS TALKING TO RATS AND JUMPING THROUGH WINDOWS. THE PRINCE IS A KEEPER BUT HES CRAZY

- I’m so glad the whole internet knows about the jumping from window thing. This was meant to be memed

- girl lived as a slave all her life and was really gonna be sent away to god knows where, without even her rat friends while her abusers lived her destiny…. Cruel… I hate this movie

- the horse riding scene reminds me so much of eugene going to save Rapunzel at the end. I do love me some badass in love disney princes 🥰😍

- HOW IS HE SO GOOFY AND HEROIC AT THE SAME TIME 😭😭😭😭 HE JUST YETED HIMSELF BUT STILL LANDED IN A COOL WAY

- "want to marry me cinderelli?" "It’s actually cinderella" "wrong girl then"

- I love the facial expressions on Anastasia and her mother when they are found out and deciding what to do. Anastasia was so devastated

- poor king only wants grandkids……

- EVERY WEDDING DRESS CINDERELLA WEARS IS A BANGER

- this cloning cinderella thing always freaked me out so much. It’s so evil, twisted and repulsive. Great plot point tho, this is a Disney sequel but they went all out

- even in the ragged dress she looks good 😭

- I love cats, but Lucifer deserves hell

- "not gonna miss my wedding" GO GET YOU MAAAAN 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

- the priest is so funny looking

- cinderella protecting Anastasia and the prince protecting them both….🥰

- love how her distransformation mirrors Cinderella’s transformation in the 1st movie

- the king telling her everyone deserves true love even after all she did…. Love that for her

- another banger wedding dress

- "old life?" Yeah they really lost relationship progress cause of that evil bitch. So upsetting but at least after all this rollercoaster of bad luck for Cindy, she got the man

- everytime we’d finish the movie, my sister an i would put the music video of the credits song. It’s so good

- this is a hard movie for me to qualify, I have always had mixed feelings about it, a love hate relationship with it. Cinderella is my least fave princess, but I still love her here. Love her too much in fact cause I just hate how very step she takes towards the prince, the step mother has her take 10 back. It’s heartbreaking, I always feel so frustrated watching it cause has she not gone through enough in the 1st movie?? Why all this torment of ruining the only good night she had, the only love she felt?? But it’s still super entertaining and funny and genuine. Really felt like they had a story to tell instead of just doing it for the money like some sequels. And it’s a good story. The animation, music, comedy, the epic moments… all so very good. It’s a frustrating good time I think that’s how I feel.

[yikesharringrove]

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

[nortnaibz]

"Bother My Askbox?" now,, what if I sent you 1-50 🤔 as a treat!! Haha just kidding.. unless. RETALIATION BITCH BOY

JFLKHSAFHDLFJDSKJF that is going to take me a hot minute 2 answer my dear but i will do the ones i haven’t already answered. just for u, gayass.

1. what color are your socks?

don’t have any ^-^ thems my feet

answered 2 <3

3. what is something you regret in the past month?

well there is a lot but not buying halloween candy sooner especially

4. do you believe in love at first sight?

nnnnnnope

5. when was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?

i always had to write thank you notes for xmas and birthday gifts as a kid so probably one of those? for an actual written letter it’s been at least a decade

6. how old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? who taught you?

i......sighs i never learned how to ride a bike bc i went over the handlebars of one when i was like 4 and then never got back on one -_-

7. do you get along with your parents? why or why not?

complicated bc i’m the queer kid next question

8. what’s your favorite season?

fall!!!!!! even though we don’t really have it here

9. do you currently like someone?

well you know the answer to this sir......i’m perhaps a little gay for my girlfriend

10. have you ever used a ouija board?

yes i have on multiple occasions and nothing happened

11. what’s the last song you sang?

prisoner by dance gavin dance listening 2 it on repeat while i rank xd

12. what’s your favorite scent?

rain on pavement!!!!!!!!!!!

13. what’s your favorite urban legend?

uhhhhhhhhh? i don’t think i know any

14. what’s a bad habit you have?

i have many but i’m super clumsy and not very aware of like where i am in relation to other things so i run into shit a lot

15. what’s a strange habit you have?

i wrap my earbud cord around my neck so it isn’t dangling and in my way when i walk places 

16. what’s the first instrument you learned to play?

if you wanna be technical i learned to play flute for a very brief period in 4th grade but i hated it. so guitar!

17. how would you describe your type?

uhhhhhhh good question people who are nice to me <3 and most men

18. would you rather stay in or go out?

for the most part stay in but i usually hit a point after awhile of being home too long where i Need to leave the house lol

19. what was the last thing you said to your mom?

bye after i called her yesterday lol

20. do you want to get married someday?

not traditionally but yes

answered 21 and 22!

23. what’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

i had to answer a phone call at work abt the pet section which i know nothing about and the lady was clearly kinda annoyed and when i told her we didn’t sell kennels in the store (and that yes, i had checked) she said thank you and i. didn’t say anything else. i like forgot to speak and she just hung up and i felt so stupid for it ksdfjksdfhjk

24. when was the last time you went sledding?

it’s been at least a decade iirc 

25. have you ever/do you like someone you know you can never be with?

yes........ *picture of norton campbell*

26. do people often mispronounce your name?

nope

27. would you like to live in another country?

absolutely! when this country inevitably falls apart in the wake of the 2020 election i will be contacting my stoner friends in canada and moving up there at my earliest convenience <3

28. do you like to watch ghost hunting shows?

i never have but i would probably find them entertaining

29. who was the last person you said i love you to? 

kei my friend kei my best friend kei <3 before that either my mom or my girlfriend lol

30. what’s something you’d like to be better at?

playing guitar!!!!! i wanna get back into it so bad i just don’t know where my picks are rn

31. have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? 

oh sure i have it’s been awhile though

32. what was the last thing you cooked?

scrambled eggs the other day ^-^

33. do you think you would make a good parent?

absolutely not and i will never have kids unless i decide to adopt after getting help 4 my issues and assuring that i could actually be responsible for another human life 

34. do you have trouble sleeping at night?

nah i have issues w waking up in the middle of the night sometimes but other than that i’m good

35. where is your best friend right now?

i don’t have one best friend one is at work one is in his home i presume and the other is at college <3

36. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

depends but usually like 20 mins? i don’t do makeup or anything so i can be ready in ten if i need to be

37. how late do you usually stay up at night?

until 10 or 11 lately!

38. when was the last time you cried and why?

uh good question i have shit memory but a few days ago over life stress probably lol

39. have you ever won a contest?

yes i won a costume contest in my elementary school when i was v little and i sort of won a contest to get my poetry published in my uh. sophomore year....summer between sophomore and junior year

40. can you draw well?

i can draw. the well is subjective ^_^

41. would you ever date someone you met on tumblr/the internet?

me n my girlfriend are long distance but i did not meet her on tumblr i think if i ever date someone on tumblr you all should require an essay from me on why it is an okay thing to do. i love my mutuals but some of the people on here...well you know

42. what was the last thing you ate?

snickers!

43. do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

ehhhhh i mean i’m certainly better than i used to be but tldr no. but i have issues so take that as you will

44. have you ever had a near death experience?

as in i physically came close to death and survived, no. but i was in a car crash a few yrs back that if anything had happened differently it could’ve killed us

45. what do you think people think of you?

idk i have a hard time reading intention and like. opinions of me? i think everyone puts up with my shit and wishes they didn’t have to lol

46. what is your middle name and do you like it?

my middle name is rowan and i love it cause i picked it myself i have no other middle names and i never have <3

47. are you close with either of your parents?

nnnnnnot really!

48. do you like yourself?

well i am the sexiest motherfucker alive but also i hate myself. i’m incredible and deserve better but also am horrible and deserve nothing. i’m the best and the worst at the same time <3

49. state five facts about your appearance

uhhhh my hair’s red, i’m short as fuck, i have blue eyes, i always wear hairties around my wrists, and i uhhhhh like wearing long sleeves. does that count??

50. state 5 facts about your personality

hm well i have no idea who i am as a person but? i’m creative, i like video games, i’m a pessimist, i spend a lot of time thinking/daydreaming, and i’m gay! the end <3 <3 <3

[chanyueda]

Chest of Letters ; Ch. 3

i got emotional while writing this idk maybe im just that shallow

also there’s something waiting for you at the end !! dont mind the timestamp uwu

this is probably the shittiest writing i have rn but hope you enjoy uwu love yall

The long car drive to the airport sent a nauseating feeling to Steven, who still can’t get over with the letters he’d read. He told himself he’d leave the chest behind but here he was, cradling it in his hands. The lid was closed, locked and shut, the letters inside calling to be read. The key to it dangled from his neck, for it to be easy to unlock later.

“Why don’t you read one? We’re still a long way from the airport.” Star’s tone had a teasing ring to it as he looked up the rear view mirror, taking a glimpse at his now former roommate. “I could see that you badly want to read one.”

“Stop,” he groaned, “you’re making it worse. Yes, I do want to read it but I’m saving it for later...when I get bored.”

“That sucks.” Star clicked his tongue. “I wouldn’t get to see your reactions.”

“That’s better for me, I guess.” Steven laid down on the backseat, attempting to get some sleep. He’d held the chest so tightly as if it were to be a stuffed toy that he can’t let go. Which, if you think about it, is true. He can’t let go of the chest. It contains the memories he chose to forget completely, including the persons in it.

He sighed, took the key and stared at it in the air. He couldn’t resist anymore; he unlocked the chest once more and took out the paper at the top of the pile. It’s time to read another one, he thought.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly unfolded the paper and let out a small gasp upon seeing the first sentence of the letter.

Hey, should I still continue? I mean, I said I would but I’m not really feeling it. Anyway, I’d tell you something.

I didn’t get accepted to my dream university. I worked hard to get in there but, no, it didn’t pay off. I locked myself up in this room and now I’m writing to you. I got the letter just this morning and it couldn’t get worse. I thought I’d be accepted. I thought I did my best.

It wasn’t enough. Wish you were here to stop me from crying. I still remember you sending me confetti before because you thought it would make me happy and, yes it did. Send me confetti again please?

Maybe he forgot what a letter should look like; there were no salutations and there’s not even a sign at the end. How can they be sure this was from Andrew? But then, he realized that he probably wrote it in the envelope, still, he couldn’t stop the questions that formed in his mind.

Out of all the questions, he only spoke one out, “Confetti? I sent confettis?”

Steven had Star laughing in the driver’s seat like a madman. He didn’t get what’s funny about that, the only thing he knew is what he did was stupid. Who in the world would send confettis in an envelope? Steven did apparently.

“Wow you’re crazy, Steven. Didn’t know you sent confettis.” He took a left turn. “Now I know what I’d give you when you reach New York.”

“No, do not. If you do, I’m flying back here in LA.” He threatened. “But...you know...”

There was a shifting of air inside the car, the atmosphere deemed to turn into sadness.

“There were no greetings again and this time, no name.”

Star hummed.

“Don’t you hum on me! I’m bothered!”

“Well, what should I say? Yay? I’d seriously keep my trap shut than say something sarcastic that would tick you off.”

Instead of replying, Steven proceeded to read the fourth letter. It was...unsettling. The first few words took him by surprise. He wanted to rip the paper off, but he couldn’t. His grip on the paper only tightened of anger and guilt. It was fairly short too, like the last one he just read.

I’m sorry but I can’t keep writing to you anymore. I just...I don’t know. I don’t have the willpower to do it anymore. As I write this, I feel a heavy weight in holding my pen like...I’m struggling with every stroke. I’m close to ripping this paper off but I’m continuing this because I want you to know my current state. I promised to tell you everything, right?

I miss you. Come back, please? I’ve been asking you to do it but you haven’t...I guess you do hate me. Yeah, maybe that’s it.

It was over. No ending statements or anything. Just that final paragraph. He probably scrapped it all but still sent it anyway. Poor guy, he only wanted someone to talk to.

His cheeks felt hot; tears were actually streaming down it, completely drenching the paper. The guilt started to consume him whole.

“I did this upon myself.” He blamed himself again. How many times has it been? “I was selfish. I didn’t write back for whatever reason and now, he just...gave up? It’s only the fourth one, my goodness!”

He sobbed at the backseat, locking the chest and leaving it on the other side. He was a shit friend, and he knew that the moment he read both letters.

Was he even a friend?

Star pulled up on a curb. He couldn’t handle hearing Steven cry out loud.

“Hey, uh...” he clicked his tongue. “I’m bad at this but, there’s still a pile left for you to read. He didn’t give up on that letter.”

“How can you say that? For all we know, he stopped writing and the remaining ones here aren’t from him.” He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his jacket. “I’m a bad person, Star. I shouldn’t have ghosted my pen pal. I feel guilty.”

“It’s never too late. You can always write back to him. Though...I don’t know where you’re gonna look for that address though.”

Steven paid no attention to what Star said, instead, he continued to ramble on, “Don’t you see? He waited everyday for who knows how long...for me to write back and I never did! I’m sorry but...I am a bad person. I really am.”

The next events shocked Steven to oblivion; Star had slapped him hard.

“Get your shit together, Steven! Look, you can’t end it here, I keep telling you there’s still so much to read which means so much for you to know! And, you can write back!”

Hours ago, he wanted to do that. Now, he doesn’t know what to do. Andrew probably does hate him already. Even if he were to write back, it’s too late and he might do the same thing, ignoring the letters like what Steven did.

“I’m gonna continue driving.”

The chest sat unattended for minutes, but Steven could only wonder what else it contained. What other emotions could it contain? It’s like he’d opened Pandora’s box, but instead of releasing evil on the world, it released guilt and sadness through the written letters.

He opened up his phone and scrolled through his social media accounts. He needed to free his mind from everything he’d read. The thought of searching for his pen pal on the internet crossed his mind multiple times while scrolling but decided against it; his first name was the only thing he knew. There are a lot of people who share the name, so what are the odds that he’d come across an account that belonged to him?

Then he saw it. He saw a post from a person he was following.

The post was a screenshot from twitter. His eyes widened upon reading it. The tweet had lots of likes and retweets, but he couldn’t see the replies.

This tweet...he’s looking for him.

[jooheongif]

it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)

(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)

2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye

hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so  yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️

[jooheonies]

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

[survivormykonos]

Episode #1: “everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️” ~Robbie

First impressions these people are basic players who wont have very big personalities, and not willing to put a lot of effort into this game. Hopefully thats not the case and its just late so no one is really wide awake :) Because I came to play and I hope thats what everyone else came here to do as well 

Okay so my plan basically worked, winning the first reward competition by placing a good score has opened up one of many avenues to come. Ryan, and Zeezo want to work with me (bad choice for them since I will be winning this aka taking them out eventually but oh well)

Him hitting it off really well with this tribe they are all so friendly and welcoming, Ain is my main homegirl at the moment she is the best and jared is a nice friendly face so it should be interesting to see what the coming days are like.

so not 30 minutes in and meowth comes out with the question "what if someones racist" which to me carried an air of accusation it was public and clearly meant for all to see it just gives me a bit of an icky feeling towards meowth

I'm glad that others are getting higher scores than me because i definitely don't want to be presenting as a threat in challenges particularity not the first day so i just am hoping that ill land middle of the pack challenge wise

so this immunity is fun i love puzzles like these even though they are hard tbh im not completly happy about our chances but i hope we can push through and win or the other tribes internet fucks up, either or really

so right now the vote seems to be between Robbie and Mewoth (Josh) and tbh i dont care which goes because they havent spoken to me but whatever, in any case id rather keep someone who actually contributed to the challenge and if he doesn't step it up then Josh will be gone next

Going into tribal council i am very nervous, you never know where the vote is until the votes are read and if im on the wrong side of the vote i might not be around much longer

I dont know whats gonna go down here but i hope i do well

reunited with lukas my love

she sells seashells at the seashore

why is the first vote already so confusing and wild.... just decide on a person

WHATS UPPPP!!! Can’t say much because I’m busy but I’m stoked!!! Only two other girls on my team tho :/ but it’s ok! I have Stephen who I know but I’ll get into all that later and I have lukas and Sammy on the other tribe who I LOVE TO DEATH but obviously can’t tell anyone that. Ain is on the other side who I hate but I just hope she gets voted out and we never have to interact :’)

Honestly, living my best life and enjoying the brief small talk with my tribe mates. So far getting a good vibe from everyone but lets be real, shit (I can curse right... I lowkey have always wanted to say that) is definitely going to go down as soon as something goes wrong. But like *shrug*. 

OK LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT TIME THAT I DIDNT WANT TO GRAB THE LIGHT AND SHINE IT ON ME AND WE WIN FIRST IMMUNITY AND I GET SENT TO PARADISE ISLAND!!!!!!!!! Yeah, because like, screw the idea of trying to lay a tad low for the first vote. But hey, I guess when you are working with Zeezo and she tells you the immunity boxes must be evens because of the clue she got, and then you get sent to PI, it can't be all that bad. I'm so shook I don't even know if I'm making sentences rn hahaha. I hate saying this, but like I am so happy with where I am rn, but I def know there is so much more work to put in before my tribe ends up going to tribal. AND SPEAKING OF TRIBES, WHET ON EARTH? Two abstains in the reward and then a tie and only two points in the immunity challenge for Yalos? Did they also think they were cast in ANTM because like same. We've all been there, amiright? Can they continue to do this so I can just breeze my way to merge and start playing this game already??? Please and thank you. 

When I wake up and realize I have so much work to do for school but at least I don't have to worry about going to tribal tonight! I aint mad! At least Im not gonna be the Francesca of this season soooooooo..... 

So... ya boy just beat Jared in a word search comp... and beat him... and went to Super Paradise Island... and idk which greek god is on my side, but one them has ya boy's back because he just the sapphire gem... Like no big deal... I didn't expect to be the first voted out and then just somehow came across getting one of the first big advantages of the game... WE ARE ALL FINE GUYS!!!

I have Oakley, who voted me out on Athena: Himalayas and Olivia, who I voted out on Atomic: Isle of Skye on my tribe. And my immediate thought is I want to work with them. Olivia more than Oakley, I don’t have any beef with him from another season but he is sneaky. However my strategy especially at this point in the game is just make lersonal connections and pretend to have the strategic knowledge of a goldfish. Here’s hoping it works.

So far I’ve talked to most people but some are easier to connect to than others, Joanna seems the most distant, she responds but it doesn’t feel friendly. But we won, so we’re all good this round. I really hope Ain goes home, shes manipulative, vindictive and isn’t afraid to use underhanded tactics.

WOAH! So after being recommended to play by a friend, I found out he ALSO recommended Miles to play, although in the other tribe.. I have someone I know here although I kinda got them eliminated in a Twitter Survivor... Hmmm... So far in Kalafati tribe, Im liking Miles and Joanna, Haven't had much contact with the others but they seem really cool. Im so excited to play, Especially with winning a lucky hidden immunity Idol

I’m still waving the flag

I’m still waving the flag I hate that challenge. I got a respectable score but if i did all that just to have the Yalos player stop after a low score, I'll be sad

My first impressions of the tribe is pretty positive! No immediate negative figures jump out at me. I'm still testing the waters, trying to figure out if any people are potentials for alliance members. Some people like Olivia, Jacob, Miles, Stephen and Thomas have reached out to me which makes them seem like good potentials for friends. However, I want to see how the reward challenge goes before I can evaluate my teammates further. 

It's amazing that we won the reward challenge and I'm so happy that I performed as well as I did. However, I am worried about the immunity challenge. I'm happy with the flash game, but the controls are really wacky and I already know it will take forever to get used to.

I'm honestly a little worried seeing that I didn't preform very well in the immunity challenge. Thankfully, we still managed to pull off a win and we didn't have to worry about tribal. Speaking of tribal, I don't think there is anyway Robbie is going to stay, seeing that he abstained in the reward and striked in the immunity. Also, I feel like I want to work with Olivia, but Miles also seems like a good person to work with, but I haven't approached either of them yet. Still weighing my options and figuring out the best way to proceed. 

Honestly it doesn’t seem like anyone is playing hard yet which is annoying me. Because I want to play hard, but if no one else is people can get sketched out by highly strategic, social players

Honestly if I finess this vote and stay in the game after forfeiting two comps it will be hilarious. But everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️ Hope no one gets blind sided

So the first night went..... alright. My tribe wasn’t as energetic or as talkitive as I had expected. It appears as though I am on a tribe with all gay men, which sounds nice in theory, but I’m bracing for the moment these twinks start wildin. Aside from the gays, I know Ain from a past org and am starting to warm back up to her. We will probs stick together for awhile. As of now, that’s all. 

Robbie, queen of being inactive and making cases to stay last minute, came to me with the idea of booting Meowth instead. I said hell yeah! All for that shit! Not that I don’t like Meowth, it’s just I would love to do something unexpected for the first tribal. However, Sammy and Michael seem to be so against it for some reason. Lord knows why. I’m going to aim to be in the majority, but I may just cast my vote for Meowth for the hell of it. 

Ok I don’t quite remember what my last confessional was but I know for a fact I fucked up the names. Robbie is the one on the line, Sammy is just another gay. I swap their names all of the time. 

I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!

Alright so... Not a whole lot is going on, it's just the start of the game, we're just doing the first reward challenge. This tribe is just a bit too large for my taste but whatever, I'll manage. Getting to know all these people is interesting, which is funny because the absolute LAST word I would use to describe myself is "interesting"

I'm not entirely sure what use one would have for a fire making kit in an online survivor. Am I meant to set my laptop on fire? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING????????? lmao...

There's a few people that I'm getting great vibes from. Miles would probably be the biggest one rn. I would love nothing more than to get some sort of alliance going sooner rather than later JUST IN CASE but like I don't want to be the one to actively go out and do it because if someone leaks RIP ME. Idk what I'm doing just yet. We'll figure this out.

We won the first immunity and don't have to vote anyone out, that's awesome. I can't help but feel just a little concerned though, everyone's almost a little TOO peaceful on this tribe. I'm not saying I'd want to LOSE a comp and have to face tribal but the reads I'm getting from everyone is giving me a sense of unease. I do enjoy winning though and wouldn't mind winning out. I'm just saying, I feel very uneasy with the vibes I'm receiving. Good lord I just repeated myself there. Oh well.

I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!

I think I'm pretty safe after this immunity challenge. I was one of 2 people to win the head to head for my tribe and therefore I have a chance to go to Paradise Island! I'm trying my best NOT to go though because I think that would put a target on my back very early on.

Right now my closest ally is Matt and I feel that we have a strong bond. We're each other's #1's and talking back and forth over who should go tonight. I'm very torn for who I'm voting for at tribal tonight, it's either Meowth (Josh) or Robbie. I've heard that Robbie may have gotten the majority but I don't feel 100% on wanting him still in the game. Yes, Meowth is weak in challenges but he's another easy vote moving forward in the future.

So, what's been going for me so far?  Well, reward challenge I busted my ass and showed what I can do, which was great!  WE lost, which sucks, and 2 people didn't submit.  Those 2 were Miles and Robbie.  This made me upset, mostly because Miles I know from my Minecraft UHC days, so we made an instant alliance from that.  Robbie I didn't care about.  Then came immunity, where once again, Robbie was unable to compete, and I still stand by that I was robbed in my challenge because of a shit quality image, but this is what I'm used to from online games like this, so I'll move on (eventually).  We got rekt in immunity, and the obvious choice was looking like Robbie for not submitting twice.  So, being the intelligent player I am, I basically pitched to Robbie that he was going home unless he made a better pitch about someone else.  He aimed at Michael, someone who I somewhat wanted to work with at the time (in hind sight, I wouldn't have cared much).  I proposed, instead, we vote for meowth (Joshua) because he just rubbed me the wrong way, under-performed, and refused to talk game strategy with me at all.  I pulled in Lukas and Jared, as well as had Ain in my pocket, and with the acquiring of Sammy by both me and Robbie, the vote should be set in our favor.  I'm still trying to convince Miles to roll with us so he's not on the losing end of the vote, but I think its 50/50 whether he will or won't.  Honestly, I feel pretty safe with this vote, being that I was a top performer and have shown how active I strive to be in these games.  I'm not super worried about this vote and hope that Robbie sticks around.  Hopefully, he becomes a powerful player and a big help in challenges.  If he's not, he'll go next for sure.  Let's hope I don't live to regret these words!

I think I’m in a pretty safe spot right now, but we def have people who think they are running the show around here...SIT DOWN or else you’ll become a target early😉 but I like everyone just don’t know who we should keep...someone who hasn’t been active or someone who tries but does not communicate. Eh either way I’m not on the chopping block sooooo. Okay wow that sounds rude but um i like everyone:) yikes

Honestly, this is a fung ame and a fun set of people. Just hope my time here isn't too short.

So far I feel pretty good about my tribe even though there a couple people I forgot to ever talk to oops. We seem to be good at challenges and get along well. I've connected most with Ryan so far and told him my idol clue to gain his trust. He's told me he trusts me the most out of anyone so that's good. After we talked we decided to pull in a 3rd and settled with Thomas since he got the best score in the reward challenge. After consulting with Ryan I decided to share my clue with Thomas too and the 3 of us officially performed an alliance. I think with this alliance my goal is to think more long term. Thomas is probabaly going to on Tinder performing well at challenges and be a shield for me. He also doesn't seem to talk to a lot of other people. Meanwhile Ryan seems like the type of person who might play too hard so he could be another shield. Plus we get along really well so far so that's good :') We might pull in a 4th for the alliance later since Thomas is kind of inactive and Ryan suggested Stephen so I'm interested to see how that will pan out. In other news Ryan got sent to paradise island and got the sapphire gem thing so that's great :') So if one of us finds the idol we should have great power in the game so I'm looking forward to the rest of the game 

Nothing is going really because we have been on a winning streak and have been crushing it. I knew Stephen from a previous game and we agreed to work together. He is not being extremely subtle about it but I think he wants to work with Olivia because he has mentioned her a lot and how he likes her. I don't mind that because I do like her but I am worried about the two of them being closer to each other than to me because I know they know each other. I am really liking Ryan as well and would like to work with him. I am worried I am not being as social as I should be because I do notice that I don't talk to as many people as I would like. Miles I have talked to a bit but haven't built much of a relationship with him and everyone else I have said hi to and talked to a bit but I haven't really built anything or know anything about them. I just hope we can win long enough for me to build those relationships because I am worried that I am one of the two people to lose my round in the immunity challenge.

[zouchu]

92 Truths Tag

RULES: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged..

I’ve been tagged by @bangtan-chats-and-memes​ (thank you so much !!)

LAST:

Drink: why, only the most exciting exotic unique rare drink ever    ... water

Phone call: initiated by me: my dad for permission to go to the mall / not initiated by me: my parents to check up on my sisters and i at home

Text message: i sent a screenshot of “jelly garden“ (candy crush rip-off) to my group chat with the caption “totally original / definitely not some chinese rip-off“

Song you listened to:   l o v e   s c e n a r i o   by ikon. i was obsessed with momoland’s “bboom bboom” for a while too                           Time you cried: ive teared up (because my eyes burn looking at things randomly), but the last time i let the tears fall was probably for/about Jonghyun.

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no remotely romantic relationships here

Been cheated on: see above

Kissed someone and regretted it: you’d need to have kissed to regret kissing (no)

Lost someone special: it’s circumstantial

Been depressed: the most ive felt was extreme stress, and thats not anywhere  close to depression, so nope

Been drunk and thrown up: i can’t not according to the Law, i am an obeyer (?) of the law sometimes probably

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: ive gotten more comfortable with my friends’ friends this year, and began speaking to @allthingstaekook​ and @garekinanase97​ a lot more !!

Fallen out of love: you need to have been in it to fall out of it, haha!

Laughed until you cried: oh definitely

Met someone who changed you: friends/family  changed me while i was being made... does that make sense? they molded me more than changed me

Found out who your true friends are: for sure, hopefully (for sure)

Found out someone was talking about you: my second eldest sister probably, who tells her friends about me? for some reason? bc that makes sense to her?? somehow ????

GENERAL

How many people in Tumblr do you know in real life?: no one and i don’t mind lol (i suck at social interaction)

Do you have any pets?: nope, bc its too much of a responsibility (my parents words, paraphrased, not mine)

Do you want to change your name?: not really... never thought about it, but i don’t mind changing or not changing it

What time did you wake up this morning?: 7:28 am

What were you doing last night?: procrastinating the fUCk out of my english rant thats due on fRIdAy and im probably gonna restart aGAIn

Name something you cannot wait for: summer vacation probably

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: there was a kid named Thomas at my elementary school who did weather reports for probably 5+ years

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: MY UNABLITY TO DO WORK AND FINISH A SIMPLE ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT LIKE WHATS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT IT XIAO HOW HARD CAN IT BE (REALLY FCUKING HARD APPARENTLY)

Blood type: ive got... no idea

Nickname: i use my chinese name “xiao” here (even though no one seems to use it) bc i dont trust the internet very much yet.

Relationship status: tis i, a lonely single bean

Zodiac sign: gemini! ive never went out of my way to look at it, but when i do, i dont relate very much 

Pronouns: she/her

Favourite show: uhhhh i dont watch... shows? cartoons, maybe (phineas and ferb, spongebob, fairly odd parents). the only kdrama ive finished was the guardians, and it was pretty good.

College: nope, im practically a baby still

Hair colour: was black and always has been

Do you have a crush on someone?: ive had a crush before. rn... i not sure what i feel 

What do you like about yourself?: im pretty happy with how i turned out. i’ve only been unhappy about minor physical things. id definitely upgrade my productivity if i were to change anything.

FIRSTS

First surgery: none i can remember

First piercing: my ears when i was 3: begged my aunt to get them pierced. after one ear, i didnt want to anymore, and she ended up bribing me to get it pierced

First sport you joined: swimming? badminton? not too sure

First vacation: to china, but idk if that counts as a vacation since i stayed there for 4-5 years so

First pair of sneakers: hey, kudos to you if you can remember that, bc i cant

RIGHT NOW

Eating: just ate a snickers

Drinking: why, only the most exciting exotic unique rare drink ever    ... water

I’m about to: TRY to work on english

Listening to: my playlist shuffled to Married to the Music by SHINee -- so underrated gOD

Want kids: i wanna adopt, so when the kids have more common sense and know when to stop crying and disobeying at random times

Get married: doesnt sound too bad. i picture myself living a pretty basic life, so marriage is probably in the picture somewhere

Career: anytime an adult asks me this question to try to start a conversation... hooo boy, did you make it difficult bc i have no idea. business maybe, editor maybe... idk

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: never really thought about this... eyes?

Hugs or kisses: idk what kisses are like, and i seem to try to avoid hugs when offered soooooo ill go for the unknown: kisses

Shorter or taller: o shit ive never thought about this before. i’d like to be taller, or same height, give or take 5 cm

Older or younger: age doesnt equate their behavior. if we’re solely looking at age, give or take 2 years maybe?

Romantic or spontaneous: ooh both

Sensitive or loud: i get loud when im comfortable and passionate, so itd be nice to have a balance, and a counterpart, so.. both

Hookup or relationship: relationship. hookups would not be for me (i think waaay too much into everything)

Troublemaker or hesitant: im pretty indecisive and hesitant, so a counterpart here to urge me to be more ~adventurous~  would be nice

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: nope

Drank hard liquor: nope

Lost contacts/glasses: i dont wear either so

Sex on first date: nope

Broken someone’s heart: not to that extent, but “rejected” (ran away)

Been arrested: nope and hopefully never

Turned someone down: in 6th grade, i ran away from/pointedly ignored 2 confessions and i feel terrible, thinking back. they were good friends, for sure, but i was am emotionally constipated and lack emotional and social intelligence

Fallen for a friend: no... maybe? fallen =/= crushed. crushed, yes

DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: most times

Miracles: i believe in chance and possibilities, so you could say i believe in miracles

Love at first sight: attraction yea, but love? of course not

 -- la fin --

i tag uh,, @allthingstaekook @4-rmv @gudetaeyeon @fightme-jungkook @yoonjih no pressure though !!

[pindaleng]

Asks Part 2 - 150 asks

blackdowning asked:

all of the taylor asks please and also all of the 150 asks from a couple days ago thanks

Get ready for a ride

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Teasingly with my friend Holly

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy af

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My bestie @blackdowning :’)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so! Unless we’re good enough friends that all I do is find ways to antagonize you

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Romantic “like”? Hope so but don’t know them that well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People with really nice smiles and laughs and have a great sense of humor because help me if I have to explain memes or can’t make them laugh (because I’m hilarious)

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Lol no way

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Thinking of what to text @blackdowning

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Yikes

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My roommates!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

"New year old me my bed is probs gross now“

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

King of My Heart - Taylor Swift

Bad At Love (Stripped) - Halsey

Over You - Miranda Lambert

Over You - Ingrid Michaelson, A Great Big World

Can I Be Him - James Arthur

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Um idk, if I’m comfortable with them?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yupperdoodles :)

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Discovered Wynonna Earp and Carmilla :’)

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yikes nope

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Yessir

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

LOL nope but he likes my Facebook roasts to our mutual friend sometimes

19. Do you like bubble baths?

What kind of person doesn’t??

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Don’t know my apartment neighbors but maybe the ones across the hall could smoke less weed that’d be great

21. What are you bad habits?

Scratching my head and releasing dandruff, rubbing my face as it’s peeling, shaking my leg, staying up late doing nothing, procrastinating, etc.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Want to go to Japan one day! But otherwise not sure. Europe in general, Australia, Canada? Places with good food and comfortable living arrangements.

23. Do you have trust issues?

Why is this question in so many asks yes I do move on what a clingy question jeez

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Going on tumblr

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

...all of it? :’)

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Grumble about being awake

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Uhhh I think I’m pretty okay with how it is rn

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My besties

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Yikes no thank goodness

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Probably! #TaxBenefits

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yeps!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Um threesome friendship? Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis cuz I’d be a third party observer as they forget about me and just get to watch them be super great all the time 

33. Spell your name with your chin.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

In a badminton class rn! I’ve also played sports for funzies like tennis, volleyball, swimming, and basketball

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Heck that’s hard. Without TV? Especially if they couldn’t have music in them. But like I’m such tv fandom trash it would be so hard.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Hahha yes

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Um nothing or how’s it going or 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Super funny. Great listener. Eye crinkles when they smile/laugh. Bright smile. Laugh that makes flowers grow. Driven.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

There was a store in Epcot Japan that I could spend like my entire life in. Craft stores, and department stores with plaid/button ups/dressy clothes

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Um in college rn so... college?

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yuggerduggers

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m either super exhausted or irritated or uninterested

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yess’m because I get unreasonably bothered when people don’t smile at me cuz then I think I did something wrong lmao

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Um bottom of the ocean like under a bajillion pounds of water how cool is that

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Responsibility and food

46. What are you paranoid about?

SO MANY THINGS. 

47. Have you ever been high?

Tried but didn’t work

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Erp yep

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Um secret projects

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Maroon

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

All the time??

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Me? :’)

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Uh covergirl? Don’t really wear makeup 

54. Favourite store?

Teeturtle (online store) has pretty nifty stuff

55. Favourite blog?

@blackdowning

56. Favourite colour?

Red

57. Favourite food? 

Sushi

58. Last thing you ate?

White Cheddar Cheez-its

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Milk with instant coffee, but first actual food PB&J

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Once was a winner of a letter to santa competition my local newspaper hosted when I was a kiddo and got a stuffed bear

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope I’m too much of a goody two shoes

62. Been arrested? For what?

For stealing people’s hearts ;) jk never been arrested

63. Ever been in love? 

Don’t think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Was leaving their house and then awkwardly talked for forty minutes by their door then fill in the blank

65. Are you hungry right now?

I literally always am so

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Um tumblr friends r real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Internet and Food

71. Craving something? What?

Sushi and love

72. What colour are your towels?

Red and pink

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Just one

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have some on my bed!

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Ummm 15-20?

75. Favourite animal?

Pandas

76. What colour is your underwear?

Wouldn’t you like to know ;)

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Mint Chocolate Chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Pink

80. What colour pants?

Blue jeans

81. Favourite tv show?

Supergirl

82. Favourite movie?

Ugh hard one I don’t really have a fave. I really like Now You See Me1 and 2, the Pitch Perfects, The Carmilla Movie, Almost Adults, The Big Short, Polar Express, and I’m sure I’m messing some

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Who tf likes Mean Girls 2 better??????????

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Karen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Crush?

87. First person you talked to today?

My roommate Holly

88. Last person you talked to today?

So far, my other roommates Hope and Victoria

89. Name a person you hate?

Nick St. Clair

90. Name a person you love?

Betty Cooper

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Anybody I want to fite sum1

92. In a fight with someone?

Don’t think so

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Many many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Also many lots love sweaters and hoodies

95. Last movie you watched?

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

96. Favourite actress?

Just one??? 

97. Favourite actor?

uhhh Chris Wood maybe? Tom Hanks?

98. Do you tan a lot?

Did when I played tennis in high school

99. Have any pets?

No :(

100. How are you feeling?

Great B)

101. Do you type fast?

Decently quick!

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

SO MANY but also trying to just accept it instead of feel bad about it

103. Can you spell well?

W-E-L-L

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yessss

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Um not like super cool burning couches and ten feet tall fires but just chill roasting marshmallows ones yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probsa

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes! It was fun

108. What should you be doing?

Studying for exams stop attacking me

109. Is something irritating you right now?

I’m tired and IT’S SO FRICKEN COLD OUTSIDE

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Hm I don’t think so

111. Do you have trust issues?

I'm against monopolies so you could say I have issues with trust (anti-trust get it haha I’m hilarious give me money)

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

@blackdowning

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Awk didn’t really have one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yupps!

115. Do you play the Wii?

Uh duh it’s great

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Mmmhmm

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Who doesn’t?

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YES

119. Favourite book?

Freakonomics

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Kinda

121. Are you mean?

Average ye

122. Is cheating ever okay?

I use google all the time for my hws so I hope so

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Lol no my white shoes rn are getting pretty dirty

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes <3

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes <3 <3

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes but I also have a heck ton of stuff I need to do oop

127. What makes you happy?

Making other people laugh/smile

128. Would you change your name?

If it would make it sound cooler yah

129. What your zodiac sign?

Gemini

130. Do you like subway?

Delish I might get some soon

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Literally this was already a question who made this

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

London girl with an attitude We never told no one but we look so cute Both got way better things to do But I always think about it when I'm riding through - Bad at Love by Halsey

134. Can you count to one million?

Is that before or after seven

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk if it’s the dumbest but in an interview I said I knew what a company did and then said it wrong but they hired me anyways so who rly won

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′4″?

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight in reference to hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette? Closer to black hair

140. Summer or Winter?

Summer

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

June

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nah

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark chocolate ftw

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee

146. Was today a good day?

Yeah :)

147. Mars or Snickers?

Um Milky Way should count under Mars right

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

How else do u explain how a russian nesting doll ended up in my apartment freezer when neither me nor my roommates did it.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Uh literally don’t have a book near me rn might update later when I find one

[imrainai]

[OOC Message log, imrainai & trashrightsactivist]

These are really old. Like, last in-universe year old. But some people wanted to see them, so here they are.

Summer, 3422

imrainai: Could I read the sideblog? You have a lot of really interesting things to say, and I'd like to read them. If you're ok with it. ^_^'

Trashrightsactivist: I would trust a promise from you, you seem trustworthy. So I will add you if you promise me that you understand how serious it could be if someone like tidalwave got hold of information that could tell her who I am in real life - I could quite easily die - and also promise you won't mention any of that info anywhere public. Is that okay?

Imrainai: Yeah, I promise. I definitely don't want anything bad to happen to you.

Trashrightsactivist: cool, adding you in a sec

Weeks Later

imrainai: ruby? are you ok? just laying low for a bit? You're safe, right?

Trashrightsactivist: yes. i am very sad and angry about things. but safe.

Imrainai: <3 please stay safe ok

Trashrightsactivist: i'll do my best. you too

Later

Imrainai: I think the internet's gonna cut out in a bit, so just wanted to tell you again to stay safe and take care of yourself. you're a good internet friend, OK, so make sure you're still here when I get back

Imrainai: taz liked your story about the aliens btw. I had to modify it some because I don't want him telling his teachers he's getting red-positive propaganda at home, it was about criminals and poor people. but the basic moral was intact, and he seemed to agree with it.

I just... be careful, OK, the world needs all the good people it can get

Trashrightsactivist: thank you. and I'm glad he liked the story, it's about the downtrodden whatever colour their hair is so yeah

Weeks Later

imrainai sent a post caste flexibility meme!

Imrainai: tag, you're privately it

Imrainai: also the internet's back and your blog is not back, are you still there

Trashrightsactivist: I will post caste meme soon. I have a secret new blog.

Trashrightsactivist: as in - the blog is not a secret but the fact that it's me is a secret

Trashrightsactivist: what i learned from tryna fill out the meme is mostly that i would be a sucky purple :P

Imrainai: ohhh, ok

Imrainai: also same

Imrainai: but I also feel like I'd feel like that no matter what I was. probably everything looks easier than it is from the outside

Trashrightsactivist: well you're like coping and looking after a baby so you must be doing something right! But probably true

Imrainai: at least if i were YELLOW i could ADVANCE in the LIBRARY SYSTEM

Imrainai: but yeah I guess Ves is more important anyway, so I can't be, like, totally failing at life in general

Trashrightsactivist: yeah that's one of the dumb things about the caste system tbh - as a purple its super hard to get anywhere really successful unless you got this one specific skillset of 'run a business'

Imrainai: well you can only run certain kinds of businesses, is the thing. like, I can't start an editing service or watch other people's kids or something

Trashrightsactivist: which is sooo dumb

Imrainai: I do not think I could, like, successfully run a restaurant or a furniture company or make clothes

Imrainai: there are lots of options, so you'd think ONE of them would work, but so far nah

Imrainai: ............I should probably not actually be complaining about my life circumstances to you, that seems rather inconsiderate

Trashrightsactivist: hmm - idk if homeschooling is a thing in Voa. If I was the kinda oddball economics green i mighta been in another life I would suggest you might be able to set up a purple-for-purple homeschooling group and argue the income as being purple either on the basis of it being like house spousing or like consultation (in that being your caste *is* the qualifying factor for a purple-for-purple homeschool)

Trashrightsactivist: and nah, it's fine - it's actually helpful to give me different things to think about tbh

Trashrightsactivist: you could apply the same argument to a daycare specifically meant to socialise purple kids in a purple environment. But idk your employment law well enough you'd need to get a solicitor to advise on it.

Imrainai: Homeschooling is a thing, but I think if you make money at it it stops being homeschooling

Imrainai: I dunno, maybe one of the librarians can help me figure it out tho

Imrainai: they're good about stuff like that

Trashrightsactivist: yeah, I mean at minimum they can probably help you find and understand the books with the law stuff in

Imrainai: Liet's orange and I could maybe finagle something around that, but she's old enough that asking her to actually work is not really.... fair to her, so

Imrainai: and yeah

Trashrightsactivist: what is it you actually do rn if you don't mind me asking? or are you at home with the kid?

Imrainai: oh! no, I work two jobs

Imrainai: I do cleaning at a nursing home and I shelve books at the library

Imrainai: And my second cousin is living here too, she works in a warehouse and sometimes watches the baby

Trashrightsactivist: ahh, right. I was confused for a bit cause i remember a post about the 1st one and i thought you were a care worker and was like 'that's purple?'

Trashrightsactivist: is that liet? the orange person?

Imrainai: Liet's my great-great-grandmother, I am am sort of EFFECTIVELY her caretaker but she's family so I don't get paid for that

Imrainai: and I do look after the old people at the nursing home, but that is not actually my job, it is just... a thing that happens when I am in close proximity to people who need things

Trashrightsactivist: really should be crossover work

Trashrightsactivist: you know one of those jobs thats two castes

Trashrightsactivist: if orange-grandma lives with you it miight be doable to do the daycare and have it that like, she owns it officially and employs you, but again you'd need to check out the legalities

Imrainai: I mean in THEORY there is a simple dividing line between "care worker" and "cleaning lady" but with elderly people the line is not always actually clear

Trashrightsactivist: yeah thats why it should be crossover

Trashrightsactivist: are you any good with numbers and people management?

Imrainai: And yeah, maaaaybe, but if anyone ever investigated it I think it would rapidly become obvious that Liet wasn't really... doing anything

Imrainai: I've never really tried those things?

Imrainai: I don't think I'm awful with numbers

Imrainai: Though I never got past algebra in school

Trashrightsactivist: I imagine you gotta have people skills to a degree cause like - you're really nice, and dealing with the old ppl probably requires like, being nice but firm

Trashrightsactivist: wouldn't require algebra just finance - you could build up to a small cleaning business?

Imrainai: Oh, I hadn't thought about that, but I guess there's no reason that should be illegal

Imrainai: I do all the budgeting here, I can handle money OK

Trashrightsactivist: yeah well afaik that is entirely a purple thing to be doing, it's cleaning and it's business

Imrainai: That makes sense

Trashrightsactivist: and your library connections and self-starter attitude will mean you can pick up the extra knowledge you'd need

Imrainai: I don't know if I'd actually make more money than just working at the nursing home, but I can look into it

Trashrightsactivist: probly need some seed money i guess

Imrainai: ...yeah, you need some to get started I think

Trashrightsactivist: yeah it would at least have more potential to grow, is what i was thinking

Imrainai: but not THAT much for a cleaning business, you don't need an office or anything for that really

Imrainai: I bet you could do it with just a web page actually

Imrainai: not that I know how to make a decent website

Trashrightsactivist: yeah you probably wouldn't make more to start with but could eventually - if you read the books and stuff and came up with a good business model you could probably pitch it to people to get a small investment for like, a website and some supplies, maybe a vehicle

Trashrightsactivist: tell the nursing home they can hire you as a contractor through your business, but if you've got other work you have more leverage to get better pay there

Imrainai: That's an interesting idea... I dunno if they'd go for it, but at least this is something to look into. It's good to have options.

Imrainai: Thanks :)

Trashrightsactivist: I mean. In a sane world you could learn more about the library while you stack shelves and work your way up to librarian but we don't live in a sane world

Trashrightsactivist: np :) I better get back to work but good luck if you decide to try it

Trashrightsactivist: oh secret new me is truth-from-ashes btw. Trusting you to keep that sceret.

Trashrightsactivist: ttyl

Weeks Later

Imrainai: Wanted to thank you for the idea to start a business. Liet's going to be starting up after-school tutoring really soon, and apparently it's absolutely legal for me to volunteer at her business and for her to then put that money towards food and rent. I'll get to make money while spending time with my family and helping Taz and his classmates with their homework. :D

Days Later

Imrainai: ruby did you hear about the thing

Imrainai: the orvara thing

Imrainai: you're not in orvara are you

Days later

Imrainai: please don't be in orvara

Later

Trashrightsactivist: I'm not there. I'm sorry if my absence from the online was worrying- reds everywhere are panicky right now and that's been my focus.

Imrainai: no no it's ok! just wanted to make sure you weren't. uh. actually dead

Imrainai: be safe

Imrainai: or as safe as possible I guess

Trashrightsactivist: You too. I don't know what's going to happen now but it's not going to be good and it's not going to just be us that suffers for it in the end.

Fall, 3422

Imrainai: ruby are you still alive and kicking and there and stuff

Several weeks later

Imrainai: rubyyyyyyy

[runyousillydetective]

Answer all of them you coward

Well fuck. I gotta answer them all now.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? @justlivingforthemoment​2. Are you outgoing or shy? Hrm. Classic introvert so... I’m pretty shy until I get to know you.3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? @justlivingforthemoment​ <34. Are you easy to get along with? Don’t be an asshole and we’re golden5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? If she isn’t drunker than I am. And even then, I think she’d still try6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Personality and humor always comes before physical appearance for me. Idk7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? If I’m not I will be extremely surprised and heartbroken8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Is there really an “opposite” gender...?9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not really. Especially when it comes to telling women all the shit they don’t know about their own anatomy because American sex ed is the most terrible thing on Earth stg10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? ... @justlivingforthemoment​ (do you see a theme because I do....)11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Yeah!”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? “Lydia” Highly Suspect, “Slow Hands” Niall Horan, “Thump Thump Thump” Natt & Alex Wolff, “Glitter in the Air” P!nk, and "Beam Me Up” P!nk (You get four because I suck)13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Totally14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Kind of?15. What good thing happened this summer? This summer has barely started16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Many, many times17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I find it hard to believe there isn’t18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No19. Do you like bubble baths? I fucking love bubble baths20. Do you like your neighbors? I mean, I don’t really know them? But they know my parents and they are nice21. What are you bad habits? Idk I’m defensive and emotionally stunted and easily distracted22. Where would you like to travel? Is everywhere an acceptable answer?23. Do you have trust issues? Lol depends on shit and stuff24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Ignoring my first alarm25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My smile26. What do you do when you wake up? Slowly pry my eyes open and feel like screaming27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Nope28. Who are you most comfortable around? @justlivingforthemoment​29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Nope.30. Do you ever want to get married? I mean, I could definitely see it happening. That’d be nice if I found the right person31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? A short one but I’m growing it out again32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I’m... not really a threesome person33. Spell your name with your chin. z nvged,l,lkjc az34. Do you play sports? What sports? Lolololol35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Shit, idk man36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Not recently37. What do you say during awkward silences? I generally make terrible jokes and make everybody feel angry with me38. Describe your dream girl/guy? @justlivingforthemoment​39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Erhm, the internet?40. What do you want to do after high school? Well, my next step in getting a doctorate in educational anthropology41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yeah, people can fuck up. It’s how you change/fix it that really matters42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Sometimes nothing, sometimes I’m sad, sometimes I’m angry43. Do you smile at strangers? Depends on how introverted I’m feeling (or if I’m working)44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? The ocean fucking terrifies me, space it is45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? The fact that I live in a capitalist society and if I don’t go to work I will die and nobody will mourn my death because I was “lazy” and “deserved it”46. What are you paranoid about? Things and stuff47. Have you ever been high? Nope48. Have you ever been drunk? Yup49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Probably though I can’t think of what it might be right now50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black and pink51. Ever wished you were someone else? Sometimes yeah52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My absolutely paralyzing fear of authority figures53. Favourite makeup brand? honey I don’t make up often enough for that54. Favourite store? I have no idea, I’m too broke to spend money55. Favourite blog? probs @thebootydiaries​56. Favourite colour? Blueee57. Favourite food? Bread58. Last thing you ate? Ravioli59. First thing you ate this morning? Honey Bunches of Oats60. Ever won a competition? For what? Erhm, uh, I mean, I won reader of the month quite a few times in elementary school. And I’ve probably won something since then but it wasn’t that important idk61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope62. Been arrested? For what? Nope63. Ever been in love? Yeahhhh64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? It was in my basement, watching a Disney movie, idk65. Are you hungry right now? Nah66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Most of my tumblr friends are my real friends but the couple of friends that aren’t irl friends are just as important to me67. Facebook or Twitter? Uh, neither?68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? Well, I’m watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix but I don’t really watch tv anymore70. Names of your best friends? Alexa, Jenny, Becca, Caitlyn, and Cory71. Craving something? What? @justlivingforthemoment​72. What colour are your towels? My towels are all the colors of the rainbow. My parent’s towels are light green, light blue, white, and pink. Idk they are old72. How many pillows do you sleep with? I sleep weird. I use a body pillow for my head (it is so long that it doesn’t slip out from under my head <3), a pillow between my thighs, a pillow to cuddle with, and there is just one extra pillow floating around on my bed, not counting the decorative pillow that doesn’t always make it off the bed before I go to sleep73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not always but I often have either my childhood teddy bear, Hug Me, or my puppy (which @justlivingforthemoment​ has right now)74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I’ve got at least ten75. Favourite animal? It sounds terrible when there are so many amazing animals out there but I honestly just love dogs so much (and hedgehogs)76. What colour is your underwear? Striped light and dark pink77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Both (I’m bi and we are indecisive, remember)78. Favourite ice cream flavour? I really like the black raspberry and chocolate flavor79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Fluorescent green80. What colour pants? Black81. Favourite tv show? Sense8 (A Netflix original but it counts!!!)82. Favourite movie? I can’t choose just one, honestly83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I don’t even remember Mean Girls 2 so Mean Girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Mrs. George86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? The starfish (I’m terrible with names and I’m so sorry)87. First person you talked to today? Texting? @justlivingforthemoment​ In person? My dad88. Last person you talked to today? My dad89. Name a person you hate? A couple of people90. Name a person you love? @justlivingforthemoment​ (in case you couldn’t guess from all the times they’ve been mentioned already)91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? I can think of a couple92. In a fight with someone? Nope93. How many sweatpants do you have? A couple94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? A lot95. Last movie you watched? Sully96. Favourite actress? Idk97. Favourite actor? Idk98. Do you tan a lot? Sweetie, I don’t tan, I burn99. Have any pets? Two dogs and a cat and a beta fish but none of them live with me rn100. How are you feeling? Alright, thanks for asking101. Do you type fast? I mean, average?102. Do you regret anything from your past? Nah, not really. I learned from it103. Can you spell well? W-E-L-L104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah, sometimes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Lots, I’m from the middle of nowhere so we have a lot of bonfires106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yeah but they hurt me first107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yep!108. What should you be doing? Finishing my online essay exam109. Is something irritating you right now? Some stuff110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yeah111. Do you have trust issues? Didn’t I already answer this?112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My dad (my brother left me out of his wedding almost entirely and then left me out of something else and my feelings were really hurt)113. What was your childhood nickname? Gels, Gel Belle, Jelly Bean, Beaners, various other such names, and Thumpy114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah115. Do you play the Wii? ANIMAL CROSSING116. Are you listening to music right now? Nope117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I do118. Do you like Chinese food? I have a Chinese food date with @aceincorporated tonight119. Favourite book? Anything by @tamorapierce120. Are you afraid of the dark? No but I know who is!121. Are you mean? I’m too nice, actually122. Is cheating ever okay? Nope, if you’re cheating there is a reason and you need to prioritize your life123. Can you keep white shoes clean? NOPE124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, it is just attraction. Love comes from knowing somebody125. Do you believe in true love? Yeah, but I don’t necessarily believe there is only one person out there for you126. Are you currently bored? A little127. What makes you happy? Dogs and @justlivingforthemoment128. Would you change your name? Nope, I like it129. What your zodiac sign? Sagittarius130. Do you like subway? Yup131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I’m gay and taken so... they have to get over it132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I already answered this question, too.133. Favourite lyrics right now? I am blanking134. Can you count to one million? I’m sure I could if I had to but I don’t want to135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I’m sure I’ve told some really dumb ones but I don’t know what they were now136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? CLOSED. THE MONSTERS CAN GET ME IF THEY ARE OPEN.137. How tall are you? 5′4″138. Curly or Straight hair? Curly139. Brunette or Blonde? Dirty blonde but I’ve colored my hair dark auburn140. Summer or Winter? Summer141. Night or Day? Night142. Favourite month? Either April or October143. Are you a vegetarian? Nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark145. Tea or Coffee? Tea tea tea tea146. Was today a good day? It’s my day off so I guess so147. Mars or Snickers? Both?148. What’s your favourite quote? “The world is before you, and you need not take it or leave it as it was when you came in.” -James Baldwin149. Do you believe in ghosts? Sometimes, maybe? Kind of?150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?“’-way, you know. It don’t matter. And when the gov-’” -Stephen King, Different Seasons

[boyjadzia]

omg sara @shinelikeastarlight tagged me to do this super long tag game hlep

tagging: @void-for-president, @the-alexandrian-alchemist, @starboysisko, @magnmite, @yacobeanreign (of course only if y’all want)

last text sent: "cool [thumbs up emoji]”

list three favourite colours: ???? don’t do this to me

what time did u wake up at today: 11am, it’s reading period don’t judge me what were u doing last night at midnight: playing drunk rock band name something you can’t wait for: this godforsaken quarter to be over when was the last time u saw ur mother: over winter break/new year’s one thing u wish u could change abt ur life: the crippling depression/abandonment issues are getting kinda old, I’d like to feel like I have a stable community/family who love and support me whats getting on ur nerves rn: the discourse favourite tv shows: star trek (all of them but esp DS9), idk I’m sort of obsessed with yuri on ice at the moment, those two are the main ones tbh? first best friend: my girl India who doesn’t have a tumblr but we’ve been best friends since we met on the playground at age 5. our moms are also tight. listening to rn: nothing, the sound of my laptop fan straining to keep my computer from bursting into flame

3 fears: never having a group of people I feel I can call family, never being in love, cavities

4 turn ons: self-awareness/humility, being sensitive about & respectful of my dysphoria, trust/willingness to be vulnerable, being honest & vocal about what you like 4 turn offs: being boring, being insensitive/distant, not being conscientious about how you interact with my body (i.e. assuming you can just treat my body the same way you’d treat a woman’s body and that’s a-ok), heterosexuality of any kind sexual orientation: gay tbh senior year quote in my year book: oh god some generic hillary clinton quote about feminism I don’t even wanna remember it first thing i notice in a person: ?? what they look like? shoe size: 7M/9W (US) eye colour: hazel hair colour: brown favourite item of clothing: probably my leather jacket, close runners up are my high-waisted black jeans that look good with pretty much anything and my crop top that says “I got to second base at Jonah’s bar mitzvah, January 7th 1978″ what colour of underwear i’m wearing rn: blue/brown/white stripes favourite season: whichever one has like 60-70F weather, used to be summer but now that’s spring lol how much time i spent on designing my blog: not much I just picked a theme the reason i joined tumblr: this is pretty sad but... I wanted to make friends do i ever get “good morning” or “goodnight” texts: only if I’m like talking to someone right before going to bed when did i last hold hands: don’t remember how long does it take me to get ready in the morning: depends, anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour have i shaved my legs in the past 3 days: LMAO try the last 4 years where am i rn: on my couch do i like music loud or at a reasonable level: reasonable, loud noises are scary 3 things i love: my friends, dogs, idk earth? how i feel rn: I need to gtf to sleep lol something i rlly, rlly want: to feel like I don’t have to radically change my body to be attractive to the people I want to attract 3 things that upset me: feeling like I’m hurting or burdening other people, straight men trying to hit on me, the persistent feeling that being transmasc somehow makes me a bad person what i find attractive in other ppl: appreciating subjects other than your field of study, confidence, ambition, someone who’s accomplished interesting things in their life, being friendly, genuine & not condescending 3 habits i have: staying in bed all day on days when I don’t have to do anything, only eating part of my lunch during lunch time and eating the rest for dinner, carrying off ridiculous amounts of free food from events something i fantasize abt: feeling comfortable and secure in my attractiveness vis a vis how my body looks, and in my presence in gendered spaces something im talented at: singing, memorization, embarrassing myself the blog i give the most notes to: idk, probably sara tbh last person re-blogged sth from me: I haven’t checked my notifications in a while o_0 do  i smoke/drink: I drink with friends my favourite food: I’m a big fan of things with cheese in them. also guacamole. my favourite dessert: it really depends ugh I guess cake? what i did yesterday: had my last day of classes, went to work, went to an award ceremony/opening gala for an integrated DNA technologies sponsored exhibit at the field museum (it was so fancy I felt so grown up and fancy), went to kat’s birthday party number of kids i want: ???? number of siblings i have: none something thats constantly on my mind: trangst (trans angst)

last person i messaged on tumblr: teddy (void-for-president) can i drive: nope :/ what state or part of the world do i live in: Chicago, from Brooklyn am i in school: 3rd year undergrad do i get grossed out easily: not generally, but certain specific things will do it (ex. dead animals especially FISH) somewhere i would like to visit for a week: hm maybe go back and see Alaska again? check on that mountain biking trail I helped build in 10th grade i’ll love u if: make an effort to spend your free time with me/take the initiative in telling me that you value my being in your life last show i binge-watched: I binged legend of korra over winter break, probably that what words upset me the most: idk I guess people telling me I’m wrong for existing in the spaces that I occupy? what words make me feel best abt myself: when people tell me they value having me in their lives and that I make them feel good about themselves a wish that i’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11: that’s not a thing that I do :/ who i would switch lives with for a day: idk maybe someone who’s already gone on T and sings just so I could get a sense of what the voice change is like for a singer? or like. a famous celebrity or something. my favourite ice cream: green tea I think? allergies: minor allergy to raw eggplant I think, every time I eat undercooked eggplant my mouth starts to feel like it’s swelling up, not like my throat is being blocked off but just my mouth starts to hurt quite noticeably sexiest person to come to mind immediately: alskdjfsldk this is really hard uhh uhhh ok see my first thought is like star trek characters but I can’t say that ok let’s go with john boyega he’s gorgeous and seems like a ray of sunshine my childhood career choice: biologist! one of my insecurities: that being transmasc nonbinary and still participating in some women’s spaces/not letting go of some aspects of womanhood makes me a bad person and specifically is harming transfeminine people how many blogs am i following: just over 100 I think how many tabs/different windows do i have open at this very moment: 2 windows, this is the only tab open in this window because my internet sucks and tumblr is a monster website, the other window has 13 tabs coke or pepsi: not super into either, I guess coke although my aunt used to work for pepsi so I should be loyal tea or coffee: tea movie or book: movie probably, I don’t actually read that much it’s embarrassing, although frankly I don’t really watch movies that much either a sense i would be willing to lose: none omg! I guess if I had to pick taste? since taste is mostly smell anyway quote i live by: I don’t really? type of accessory i wear the most: does the leather jacket count? otherwise none last awkward situation i found myself in: I kept trying to pet eva’s dog today but I just ended up scaring her what time is it rn: way too late

a song that made me cry: hallelujah by leonard cohen, not actually, just like made me v emotional (yes I’m thinking abt that yiddish cover) first song u ever sang at karaoke: are we talking like legit karaoke at a karaoke place or like hanging out in my best friend from middle school’s basement singing along with her CD of karaoke tracks for the hottest hits of the mid-2000s bc I don’t remember the former but the latter was definitely sk8r boi

[surveys4ever]

6.

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? I put red bell peppers in the breakfast burritos we had for dinner last night!

What was your last Facebook notification for? Someone requested to join a group I admin.

What bands have you seen live? Sadly I haven’t seen many bands live. Last ones I saw were Paramore and X Ambassadors!

Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: Ummm...she got weight loss surgery a few years ago.

What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? My dad left and my mom remarried and had a bunch more kids she likes more than me.

What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? Cheesecake, broccoli, water, atheists. Now cheesecake is my favorite, I love broccoli, water is the only thing I drink, and I AM an atheist.

What are your plans later today? I have to shower and make dinner. Other than that idk.

Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? Sadly probably not. Beebs works so I’m probably just gonna work on a sewing project or something.

Who do you talk to the most? My husband or our dog!

What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Go on TikTok.

Who is your best guy friend(s)? My husband!

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m good where I’m at!

If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? It depends on the scar and its placement. I’d probably get it removed tho.

Have you had an x-ray in the past year? Nope! Last one was in the 9th grade.

Do you think your first love still loves you? I’d sure hope so.

What is something that is “going right” in your life? We’re debt free for the first time since we got married, my husband is fixed, and we just finished getting a bunch of repairs done on our car!

When did you feel ready to start dating? I don’t think there was a moment I decided I was ready...it just happened!

When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? I mean...she’s never bitten me maliciously! Just playfully.

Where were you the last time you made out? In bed I believe.

When was the last time you cried tears of joy? When a company I’ve loved forever sent me a massive PR box with so much more than I could have ever expected. I sat on the kitchen floor and cried.

How do you type your sad smileys? :(

Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? Nah!

What was the last soda you drank? I had a coke slushie earlier!

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? I’m not sure! It was probably something silly my husband was teasing me for.

Have you ever had any type of surgery? No, thank god.

Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? Yeah. It’s their body!

Who was the last person to hit on you? Some weirdo on the internet told me my bellybutton must smell like roses.

What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? Shower..oops.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? I don’t know!

What do you put on hot dogs? Mayo, ketchup, mustard, and cheese.

Ever fallen in the shower? Slipped but not fallen!

Do you think that things will get better? I really hope so!

Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? Yup.

What’s your favourite book genre? I don’t know if I have one!

Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? I almost walked out of Toy Story 4 because the people behind us were so goddamn rude and their kid kept pulling my hair.

Do dogs like you? Oh hell yeah.

Would you say that you project an air of authority? Maybe? I’m a bossy Capricorn so I exude some level of leadership but I’m also not comfortable being in charge of anyone.

Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? Absolutely not.

Do you use one towel when you shower or two? Two! One for my hair and one for my body.

Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? Nope!

Who do you know that had a baby recently? Um! Lots of Facebook friends but no one personally.

Do you like Usher’s songs? Eh! They’re alright.

When was the last time you went to a waterpark? Oh god. Like 15 years ago.

Have you ever ridden a train? When I was a young tot, yes!

What do you eat your French fries with? Depends on the fry! Ranch is usually my favorite.

Do you have family problems? Hahahahaha....hahahaha...yes. So fucking many.

What’s the last food you ate that was stale? I don’t know? I don’t eat stale food very often.

How do you like your grilled cheese? Extra cheesy with tomato soup!

What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? Pasta aglio e olio!

What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Spend time with my grandma!

Have you ever been close to drowning? Nope.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Ugh, many times. They are terrifying.

Do you like doing housework? Sometimes! Other times I’d rather do l i t e r a l l y anything else.

Would you ever get implants? I want a breast lift but I’m afraid to go under anesthesia.

Do you own a robe? A few, yeah!

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yup, but that’s none of your beeswax.

Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? If it’s dominos, I just toss it but if it’s anything else, I’ll eat it!

What was the last song you listened to? I Don’t Wanna Wait by Paula Cole.

Have any of your family members been to jail? In laws, yes!

Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? Yeah, sadly.

Can you remember when you first learned how to read? Yup! Kindergarten.

What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? Probably having to give up my childhood to be the big sister. I’m inherently motherly, I take care of everyone, but I have no desire to be a mother.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled? Just my wisdoms!

Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? I wanted to be famous.

What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? I feel like I watch all of the shows that interest me!

How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? Uh...no.

What is your favorite Queen song? Fat Bottomed Girls!

Do you know how to use any foreign currency? Well yeah but I mean...I’m not sure what there is to know about it? You go to the bank, exchange your money for the other money, and then spend it as you see fit. It’s a lot easier to just use your bank card tho.

Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? Nope!

Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? Yeahhhh, sadly. My period is a little bitch who likes to show up late a lot and I’m an anxious mess so I usually take tests to give me some peace of mind while I wait.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? I’m never at a loss of what to do!

What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? We went to a theme park! It was absolutely magical.

What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? Inside out and Just Friends! We saw Inside Out by ourselves, with my husband’s best friend, and then with my family just because it was so fkn good. And then my best friend at the time was obsessed with Ryan Reynolds and saw it I think like 10 times by herself, 2 of which were with me.

What is the reason you’re still alive? My heart is still pumping?

Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? I’ve had sex in my parents’ hotel room while they were down at the pool...sorry mom.

Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? I never brush my hair except for right after a shower. I have curly hair and brushing it is the literal worst thing you can do.

Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) I don’t believe so!

Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Yes and yes!

How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? Bleary! My husband was calling me to wake me up.

Do you still tell your parents that you love them? I do, even when I don’t really want to.

Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Friends and family, yeah.

Would you date someone with a physical disability? I mean, I'm married, but in a theoretical world where I was single, that wouldn’t be something that would deter me if I loved someone.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? He has not!

The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Purple! That was only like 2 weeks ago.

Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? We did!

Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? 20%, actually!

Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? I’ve only ever gone to Reddit because Google suggested it to me to answer a question I had.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? I was only 4 but I guess I was my mom’s maid of honor/flower girl at her wedding.

Are your parents in good health? My mom is but my dad has high cholesterol and bad back pain. Nothing super serious tho.

Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? Nope!

Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? Not that I’m aware of but most medications have weird affects on me. NyQuil makes me hallucinate, Novocaine makes me loopy, and oui’d makes me see shit, so?

Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? I really just wear a T-shirt and shorts to bed.

Do you have any interesting pillow cases? All my pillow cases rn are vintage and I love them!

If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? I just have really sensitive feet and every pair rubs them raw or causes blisters/bleeding so they usually hurt.

Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Spiders, definitely.

Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? I had acrylics for a year! I don’t remember the last set I had on tho.

Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American.