#my instinct is to be frustrated about certain ways he acted but then i have to slow down and be like wait though.

[unsiredtribrid]

conversations about Ben are endlessly fascinating to me because being the only adult left out there and seeing teenage girls cannibalize their own is already insane just on its own as a concept but then you pile on that he refused to join in and at that point realized he was going to be left out of the lord of the flies situation because of it (if he didn’t just starve to death, but even then they would eat him)

I think people don’t talk about enough how odd and horrible it would’ve been if he ate Jackie. Like the fandom chastises him a lot for failings as an adult but what kind of failing would it be for him to set an example, as the adult, for them to continue eating each other? For him to eat a child he was previously paid to care for as his job?

[pascaloverx]

HAUNTED

Summary: You awaken from a two-year coma to find that Detective Lois has been eagerly awaiting your recovery, believing you might have witnessed something crucial to catching a serial killer. What you didn’t expect is to learn that she suspects your doctor of being the murderer—and even more shockingly, it appears that you are married to him. Now, you must uncover your lost memories and find out who Charlie Mayhew truly is to you.

Author's Note: Yes, I'm writing another fanfic featuring Nicholas Alexander Chavez’s character from Grotesquerie. The characters belong to the universe created by Ryan Murphy in the series Grotesquerie (2024). This fanfic will include violence, strong language, and adult content. It will portray the character Charlie Mayhew as a doctor. I hope you enjoy the fanfic, but there's nothing certain about its future.

PREVIEW TWO

© credits for the owners of the pictures used. they don't belong to me. credit is not mine for the pictures.

ONE

The tension in your hospital room is palpable, Detective Lois and Dr. Mayhew locking eyes as if each were ready to strike. You’re bewildered, unsure of whom or what to believe. But one thing is clear: Dr. Mayhew is your husband. He appears to be the quickest path to recovering your memory—even though Lois seems convinced he’s the reason you’re in this condition.

“Detective Tryon, as eager as you are to drag a statement out of my wife, she’ll be of no use to your scheme of blaming me for your incompetence,” Dr. Mayhew says, running a hand through his hair with a clear hint of tension. “She remembers nothing, and your persistence will only confuse her further.” He sighs heavily, while Lois watches him with a mocking smile, as if her patience has completely worn thin.

“Your performance is so convincing. You must have taken acting lessons at some point in your life,” she says, stepping toward him with a threatening air. “I can’t allow you to harm this woman before she has the chance to tell the world who you really are.”

“Enough!” you exclaim, frustrated by their bickering. Both turn to you, their expressions shifting to something like concern. “Detective Tryon, I appreciate your efforts to keep me safe. But if this man truly is my husband, that must mean something,” you say, almost on instinct. Perhaps you’re being foolish, even hasty. But there has to be something to this. Taking a risk is all you have left—now that you don’t even belong to yourself.

"Are you really willing to risk your life to be near this man, Y/N?" Detective Tryon holds your arm, her grip nearly desperate, as though trying to pull you away from Dr. Mayhew. The force of it makes you uncomfortable, and you wince, letting out a low sound of pain.

“Release my wife, Detective,” Dr. Mayhew snaps, his tone finally sharpened, his calm composure cracking. “I remind you that if we report your misconduct to your superiors, your entire baseless case will fall apart.” He steps between you and Lois, his hands slipping into his lab coat pockets, the stance a clear challenge.

"What would truly please you, right?" Lois challenges, staring straight into Dr. Mayhew's eyes. You watch them silently, still feeling the ache in your arm where Lois had grabbed you.

"Would you like to know what would actually please me?" Dr. Mayhew whispers, moving closer to Lois. "I’d be pleased to have my wife with me again, without the interference of a lunatic so obsessed with her own failures that she needs to ruin my life just to sleep at night. Careful, Lois. You’re becoming obsessed with me." You're uncertain of his intentions, but the authoritative tone in his voice and the way he carries himself is undeniably alluring.

Lois narrows her eyes, her expression darkening as Dr. Mayhew moves closer, his tone laced with mockery and barely concealed venom. “Is that so, Dr. Mayhew? Obsession, you call it?” she scoffs, a bitter smile playing on her lips. “Let’s not confuse dedication to justice with obsession. But perhaps you’re simply too accustomed to manipulating the truth to recognize it when you see it.”

You watch the exchange, torn between skepticism and an undeniable draw toward him. Despite the sharp edge in his words, the way Dr. Mayhew stands his ground, unyielding and unafraid, stirs something within you. Even as his gaze shifts to meet yours, there’s an intensity there that unsettles yet captivates you—a magnetic pull that defies reason.

“Why not focus on your own affairs, Detective,” he murmurs, his eyes still on you, a slight smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, “and let my wife and I… reconnect. Unless, of course, you’ve truly no other purpose in your life than meddling in mine.”

Your confidence is remarkable, Charlie," Lois remarks. "Mrs. Mayhew, if you need me for any reason, here’s my number. I’ll also be visiting again soon to see if there’s been any progress in your memory recovery." She hands you a card with her contact information, then smirks mockingly at Dr. Mayhew. "And don’t worry, Charlie, I’ll let Megan know you’ll be unavailable." With that, she finally exits your hospital room.

Charlie stares at you, irritation burning in his gaze. "Do you believe her?" Dr. Mayhew demands, advancing toward you with sudden intensity. You feel as if the air is being drawn from your lungs with his nearness, his gaze piercing. "Honestly, I don’t know whom to believe," you murmur, leaning back against the hospital bed behind you, your eyes locked onto his.

"Fine!" he exclaims, voice laced with indignation. He turns to leave, but then hesitates, his hand lingering on the door frame as if torn between staying and leaving. After a tense pause, he steps back inside, his tone shifting from anger to something raw and vulnerable.

"Y/N… if you can’t trust me, then at least remember what we once were. Remember the promises we made." His voice drops to a murmur, almost pleading. "I’m not the monster she’s painting me to be." The intensity in his words sends a shiver down your spine, leaving you more conflicted than ever as he finally, reluctantly, exits the room. What makes it all worse is that neither of them is truly thinking about you. Neither one noticed that you’ve only just discovered your own name, that you're lost and confused. They don’t see that you don’t want to be manipulated—you want to be understood.

“You are like him…” you murmur, recognizing that you’re no longer in your hospital room. Everything around you is intensely white—the walls, the bed you're seated on, every corner spotless and untouched. A cross hangs on the wall behind the priest, casting a shadow that flickers slightly, as if from candlelight. The room feels steeped in something sacred, almost otherworldly, like a faint echo of a memory stirring within you. The priest looks at you with a serene expression, though there’s an unmistakable weight behind his gaze. As he steps closer, the almost sacred atmosphere around you amplifies the tension. You try to process the overwhelming resemblance to Dr. Mayhew—even the contours of his face are identical, but the priest’s shorter, more traditional hairstyle highlights the difference. Your mind wavers between doubt and recognition, as if your subconscious is trying to unveil something long forgotten.

“You keep searching for answers outside yourself, yet everything you need lies within,” he murmurs, his deep voice echoing through the room like a quiet revelation.

“Father, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, what to feel,” you whisper, your voice breaking as you meet his gaze. Tears slip down your cheeks, and a quiet, aching desperation fills the space between you. The priest, unmoved yet tender, holds your gaze.

“Faith moves mountains, and as long as it resides within you, you will be safe,” he murmurs, his voice a gentle command that resonates deeply. “Find your faith, and you will know what—and whom—to believe.”

Despite the haziness, a strange comfort wraps around your heart, soft yet unexplainable. His words, laced with a familiar warmth, guide you into a calm acceptance, though the reason remains unknown. Then, leaning closer, he whispers in your ear, “Now, kneel and seek forgiveness.” Almost instinctively, you find yourself on your knees before him, grasping the folds of his robe at his knees, your head bowed as though in reverence.

“Father, forgive me,” you whisper, your head bowed. His fingers lift your chin gently, compelling you to meet his gaze. “How can I grant you absolution, when your hands are stained with blood, my sweet sinner?” he murmurs, lowering his face near yours, his breath warm against your ear, sending a chill down your spine.

You’re shocked, frozen beneath his intense gaze, but unable to break away. As you glance down, horror floods your senses—you see your hands smeared with blood. Stumbling backward, you gasp, eyes wide in disbelief. The priest rises from the bed, stepping slowly toward you with an unwavering gaze, a faint trail of blood marking his face. You’re overwhelmed with fear, a scream building in your throat until it finally erupts, piercing the silence. And then—just like that—you awaken from your haunting dream, heart racing, as the unsettling remnants of the nightmare fade into the dim light of your hospital room.

Dr. Mayhew, startled awake in the chair beside your bed, immediately reaches for you. “Hey, Y/N, are you alright?” he asks, his voice filled with concern as he stands and wraps you in a firm embrace. His arms encircle you with a warmth that feels protective, grounding you in the present moment, as if he’s trying to shield you from whatever haunted you.

“I… I had a nightmare,” you whisper once you catch your breath, the tension beginning to ease as you lean into his hold. And everything feels like déjà vu. Just like before, you wake from a nightmare involving the priest, and once again, Dr. Mayhew is by your side. You can't help but wonder if there’s a connection between his presence and the terrifying, bloody dreams that haunt you each night.

“Don’t worry, darling,” Dr. Mayhew murmurs softly, his hand tracing gentle circles on your back, his touch soothing. The warmth of his embrace gives you an unexpected feeling of lightness, as though he’s holding you together amidst the lingering fragments of your nightmare.

“Can we leave this place?” you ask, your voice trembling as you try to stifle the tears that have flowed since you woke. He holds you a little closer, and you feel a subtle tension in his grip, as if considering your question carefully.

“We will, soon,” he assures, his tone steady, though a flicker of something unreadable passes over his face. “For now, rest. I’ll be here.”

"Stay here; I need you to answer me—while looking into my eyes," you insist, tugging at Dr. Mayhew's clothes, almost dislodging his tie. Though he’d intended to return to the hospital chair, he remains by your side, his gaze steady yet guarded.

“Will you even believe my answer?” he asks softly, his voice carrying a hint of doubt, as though unsure anything he says would hold weight with you. His eyes search yours, wary yet attentive, as if weighing what he’s willing to reveal.

"You'll have to take the risk and believe that I will," you say softly, though you're unsure if you can truly trust anything he says. Dr. Mayhew's hand reaches gently to touch your face, but you instinctively pull back, murmuring, "I’m sorry."

“Ask me whatever you wish, Y/N,” he says, his voice tinged with impatience, perhaps confused by your conflicting actions—clinging to him, pulling him closer, yet retreating from his touch. You, too, are struggling to understand what you’re feeling, torn between wanting him near and pushing him away.

“Do you love me?” you ask, your gaze unwavering, trying to find answers in the depths of his eyes. His stare holds yours, as if the question should be irrelevant, as if he has already shown you everything you need to know. His expression softens, but the weight of his response carries something more.

"I’m your husband, Y/N," he replies, his voice steady, but there's an intensity in his eyes, a depth of meaning that you can’t ignore. "Doesn't that answer everything?" His words hang in the air, thick with unspoken emotion, and for a moment, you wonder if the truth lies somewhere in the space between his claims and the confusion that churns in your heart.

"Answer me, Dr. Mayhew, do you love me?" you ask, using a more assertive tone, making it clear that you are not satisfied with his previous answer. He smiles, as if he can't believe it. "I love you, Mrs. Mayhew. I would die for you if necessary," he responds confidently. His eyes are fixed on you, as if waiting for something.

"Then even if the truth disappoints me. Even if you think it's going to hurt me, I need you to be honest. About these murders, about Megan, about everything." You speak firmly, staring into his eyes.

Dr. Mayhew's expression hardens as you mention the two things he surely wishes you would forget. For a moment, he looks at the hospital room wall without saying anything. "Honesty is a double-edged sword. As you inflict it on someone, someone can inflict it on you," his gaze darkens, his demeanor heavy, almost demonic. "If honesty is what you want; honesty is all you'll get."

He stands up, lifting his face to yours, now standing directly in front of you. "You think the truth will set you free, but sometimes it only binds you to something far worse," Dr. Mayhew says, so close to your face it feels as though he's about to kiss you. His words are heavy, yet his gaze is devilishly captivating. For a moment, you sense that he's savoring the expression of fear in your eyes. "Then let the truth bind us both, if that's what we deserve," you reply, challenging him, even though a part of you trembles with fear.

He straightens his coat, his hand running through his hair with a sharp, almost angry gesture, as though attempting to pull himself together. "Rest, Y/N. The truth will find its way to you, sooner or later. But I can promise you this: I am, and will always be, honest with the woman I love—even if she doubts me." With those words, Dr. Mayhew places a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead, a gesture of tenderness. Then, without another word, he exits your hospital room, leaving you in a heavy silence.

[tonowarii]

A Life for A Life

Pairing: Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan x Fem! Omaticaya! Reader

Requested?: Yes

Summary: “It can’t all be sorrow, can it? I’ve always been alone, so I don’t feel the lack. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve never experienced loss because I’ve never had a loved one to lose. But what is grief, if not love persevering?” - Vision, WandaVision.

Word Count: 7.8k

Warning/s: MAJOR ATWOW spoilers!! violence, swearing, angst to the max!! CHARACTER DEATH, hurt no comfort, just pain and suffering

Note: Now that I think about it, this may be my first time writing full on angst and having that certain tag in my warnings 👀 this piece absolutely broke me so I hope it breaks you too jk <3 Likes, reblogs, and feedbacks are most welcome and appreciated! Let me know your thoughts! And let me know if you want to see a comfort drabble for this!

GIF is mine!

You had understood Lo’ak when no one could.

Over the years growing up together, Lo’ak had created a soft spot for you in his heart, soon blooming into a romantic feeling that Lo’ak couldn’t shake, no matter how hard he tried.

At first, he just thought you were a good friend, a shoulder to lean on, but the more he stares at you whenever he finds himself ranting about his father again, he saw how your eyes held this certain look in them, how your ears perk every time he speaks a little louder because of his frustration.

Then he felt how long your touch lingered on him when you give him a comforting hug. It didn’t mean much to him at first, just an act of comfort, but when he soon realized his feelings for you, he almost wanted you to not pull away. He wanted to cling to you, he wanted to rest himself on you.

You were that person who could make his problems melt away just by the sound of your voice, and your gentle touches. He found it even easier to rest with you rather than being with his family, he liked to admit, but would never say it out loud.

Whilst Lo’ak delt with his feelings for you, you had also began to grow longing for him. Whenever he was out on a mission or just a hunt, you would find yourself worrying when he’ll be coming back, or even if he was going to comeback due to his share of recklessness.

You find yourself waiting, and when they do comeback, the first thing you wanted to see was him. Often, he’d come back perfectly fine, physically. Emotionally and mentally? Not so much as you could also feel the anger radiating off his father when he had disobeyed another rule of his.

You often get to witness how Lo’ak just looked down at his feet while he was getting reprimanded by his dad. Then when he dismisses them, you hurry off towards him.

This had been a routine for both of you, Neytiri almost thought that his son was dating you, surprising her by saying the two of you were just close friends, even if Neytiri could see how much untroubled Lo’ak was with you and how she could tell her son loved you just by her motherly instinct.

Then there was the time that came when Lo’ak finally had acted upon his feelings for you. It certainly took him a while, but every effort he made was worth it. It started by whenever he’s going to see you, he made sure to bring a little flower or two, surprising you. At first, he played it off, saying it was a sign of thanks. ‘For always listening to me complain and stuff’

Then soon it evolved into anklets made with little trinkets he found on the way to see you. You were beginning to get nervous when Lo’ak had started giving you these gifts, what could it possibly mean? And you, you were falling hard.

Lo’ak then had asked you to meet him after eclipse in your usual spot. You agreed, thinking Lo’ak just maybe needed a change of scenario.

Oh boy how you were wrong.

Lo’ak was almost jumpy from his nervousness as he was finally going to confess to you. He was already happy hen you agreed to meet him by eclipse, but that also meant his plan was a go.

“Lo’ak?” You softly called out. Then you heard a faint rustling before his voice replied. “Here.”

Upon hearing his voice, you’ve gotten the courage to stepf forth towards him. Looking around, your spot was much more beautiful at night as glowing vines hanged from trees, the ground glowed a soft green and purple, the leaves were being picked up by the breeze, sending glowing particles everywhere.

Then you spotted a kenten, your eyes widening with glee as you approached it, your hand reached out as you give it a small tap. It squeaked before unfurling its wings, glowing brightly and spinning away as you let out a loud laugh.

Then thanks to the glow of the kenten, it highlighted Lo’ak, who was watching you with a smile on his face.

You blush. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He responded, before beckoning you to come sit with him in the grass. “C’mere.”

Following, you sat across from him.

The silence had settled after a few minutes, the sound of nature was the only thing that can be heard, along with your occasional breathing.

Lo’ak then gulps, finally looking at you in the eyes and swallowing every bit of pride that he had as he softly grabbed your hand and held them against his bigger ones.

“The- the reason I asked you to see me here is because... I’ve like... No- shit... Okay, its because I love you (Y/N). Even if I tried, I can’t stop thinking of you. I always find myself picking up things to give to you, even if its just a little flower, and... Even if I know you deserve more than just that.”

Lo’ak could feel himself tense with the words he was saying, but he didn’t stop. “I don’t know what you did to me (Y/N),” He chuckles before heaving a deep breath “I just know I love you, not in that friend way... I love you as in I want to be with you, I want to provide for you, I want to be by your side, always. I’m actually getting ahead of myself- but I needed to say this to you. It is fine if you don’t feel the same way, I know I took too much time in saying this and I’m sounding very stupid right now because you are just staring... And-“

With a playful smack to his head, sending Lo’ak looking at you dumbfounded, stopping his declaration of love for you.

You laugh at his reaction before smiling widely as your heart pounded from hearing his words.

“You skxawng. It took you long enough.”

That’s when the long-awaited relationship finally bloomed between the two of you. Lo’ak couldn’t be any happier, well, the teasing of his family often makes him wanna smack his head on the tree but nonetheless, he was happy as his family accepted you, and your family couldn’t be any happier.

But every relationship has its ups and downs.

After a few years, the RDA was back and it has been rumoured that they were targeting Jake Sully again.

That’s when Lo’ak had faced the consequences of his actions when he went to the abandoned shack with his siblings. He found himself stood in front of you with the aftermath, with it being that they had to leave to get far away from the people, to protect them.

Tears clouded your vision, shaking your head no as Lo’ak pulled you in a hug as your tears rolled down your cheeks, placing your balled fists on his chest.

“No, I won’t have this, Lo’ak. I won’t. I don’t want to be far away from you.” You sobbed through, voice cracking in the process as Lo’ak frowned, holding you.

“We can’t. I can’t do anything about it, (Y/N). We leave tomorrow, dad had already talked to grandma about the next olo’eyktan.”

You sob harder, clinging onto him as his arms gave you a tight squeeze. Lo’ak didn’t want to leave you, but with his encounter with the avatars, it made him think that what if you were the one held captive?

But the way you were holding him it seemed like you had no plans of letting go.

He rubs your back as your cries slowly turned to sniffles.

“Lo’ak?” You ask, voice still shaky.

“Hm? What is it, baby?” Lo’ak’s voice answered.

“I’m going with you.”

Your parents were initially against the idea of you joining the Sully family, but they had soon agreed once Jake and Neytiri had promised that they would protect you and treat you as their own.

It was hard saying goodbye to your parents, but you had no choice, you didn’t want to be separated from him, not when you were miles away with no point of contact.

Lo’ak had then also secretly promised to your parents that he’d protect you, even if it had cost his life.

Then you had left Omaticaya.

During the long journey, you and Lo’ak stayed flying side by side on your ikrans, talking to each other to ease the tiredness.

Reaching the Metkayina clan, you were instantly curious as they had a huge contrast from your home, considering they were reef dwellers.

They had been surrounded by ocean; their skins were teal-green. They had bright blue eyes and tattoos that littered their body. Though you didn’t like the boys who made fun of your tails, sending them a glare your way when they had pointed out Lo’ak’s tail, and his four fingers.

Once the family had settled in, you were quickly advised by Jake to learn fast and to not be a burden. But the first few days were hard considering Ao’nung, the chief’s son, was being a total douche. He was always making fun of either one of you for not being able to learn fast.

Tsireya, now the chief’s daughter and sister of Ao’nung, was much more kinder, advising that every little progress is still progress. You’ve quickly found yourself befriending her due to your lessons together and Tsireya was more than happy to find a new friend.

Lo’ak however, was still finding difficulty with trying to follow due to Ao’nung and his gang’s teasing remarks. But he tried not to let his anger get the best of him. That seems to work considering you were always right there beside him when you were done with your lessons. That provided him with the comfort that you were still here, with him in every step of the way.

But at the end of every day, you find yourself and Lo’ak on the shore, talking to each other like you did back in the forest of Pandora.

“You did well today.” You smile, leaning against Lo’ak’s shoulder.

“Yeah? When I almost drowned?” Lo’ak joked making you laugh. “Maybe.” You teased and Lo’ak smiled, but then it was followed by a sigh. You glanced up at him “What’s wrong?”

Lo’ak looks at you before glancing back at the ocean “What if we don’t get used to this? What if I don’t get used to this? The people earlier… I saw them looking at me, at my hands… I hear them saying I’m not a true Na’vi, that I’m demon blood.”

“Hey, Lo’ak, no. You’re not what they say you are. You are Na’vi and Eywa has known it since the start. You,” You said, holding up his hand and grasping his pinky with your three fingers. “You are not a demon, you’re not demon blood. Your dad, he was, and I repeat, was once part of the Sky People, right? But look at him now, just doing what he can to protect his family, I don’t see any trace of demon blood in there. All I see is a good person doing what he thinks is right. Like you, Lo’ak. You are a good person, don’t let them make you question yourself.”

With a deep breath, you looked at him. “I see you.”

By the time you finished, you gave a light squeeze to his hand, finally intertwining it with yours as you showed him. Lo’ak’s eyes had tears threatening to spill out from them as he pursed his lips together, fighting down the lump in his throat. “Remember that Lo’ak, okay?” You say, facing the back of his hand towards your face as you give it a light kiss, looking at him. “I love you either way.”

“(Y/N).” He finally spoke, voice cracking. “Thank you. I love you. I see you.” He lets go of your hand to pull you in a side hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulder while your hand made its way around his waist. Your head perfectly rested against his shoulder as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.

You both had ended watching the eclipse in silence, holding onto each other for strength.

A few weeks had passed, and things was just starting to get good when you’ve heard that Lo’ak and Neteyam had picked a fight with Ao’nung and his gang.

Lo’ak had then explained that Ao’nung was picking on Kiri, calling her a freak. It made you frown while the sibling being spoken of was nowhere to be seen. You had been inspecting Lo’ak’s bruises since he came in the Marui with Neteyam, and Lo’ak was holding his arm.

You watched as Neteyam tried to take the blame again when Jake refused. You were about to wipe the blood from his nose when Lo’ak gently pushed you away, looking at you with a shake of his head. You then backed away, understanding.

“Go, apologize to Ao’nung.” Jake stared at his son. “What?” Lo’ak said, surprised.

“He’s the chief’s son, do you understand? I don’t care how you do it, just go. Make peace. And (Y/N), can you see where Kiri is?” Jake said to Lo’ak then to you.

You and Lo’ak stared at each other. You give him a soft glance as he sighed, nodding and walking out of the marui, then you followed outside to find where Kiri was.

Your worry began to grow when Lo’ak had not yet returned when it was almost eclipse. You finally had the nerve to go around and ask for his whereabouts, the first person you asked was Neteyam.

Walking out of your marui and onto the communal area, where you had stumbled upon a frantic-looking Neteyam. “Neteyam!” You shout over to him, and he spots you, jogging until he stopped in front of you.

“Have you seen Lo’ak?” He asked you first. Your brows furrowed, shaking your head. “I was about to ask you the same thing!”

Neteyam sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his head. “Where could that boy be.”

“I’m getting worried, Neteyam, he hasn’t returned yet.” You spoke.

Then as if on cue Ao’nung’s gang had passed, laughing their ass of as you were able to pick up on what they were saying, and it seemed like Neteyam did as well.

“I wish we stuck on more to see the look on his face!”

“Why didn’t you lead him even deeper down in the reefs, I heard there’s more scary creatures there.”

“Forest boy doesn’t even know what’s coming to him.”

Neteyam had acted first before you. He was already on Ao’nung, shoving his chest with anger evident in his features. “Where is my brother?”

Ao’nung looks at Neteyam, before he spots you taking the spot behind Neteyam, anger also evident on your face. Ao’nung smirks, shrugging. “I don’t know, maybe he’s past the reef, said he liked to go hunting with us. I guess he stayed back.” He said in a taunting voice.

Your eyes widened and you were about to make a move to fight the boy when Neteyam already did it for you, he shoves Ao’nung around, his hand immediately grabbing onto his hair, tightening his grip on it as Ao’nung grunted in pain, sudden fear overcoming him as he was held by his queue.

You hissed at Ao’nung as Neteyam held him in place. His friends were shocked before they scurried off after meeting your hiss towards them, not being the one next to be held by their queue.

Ao’nung has his hands up in surrender. Neteyam looks at you and he jerks his head towards the direction of your marui. “Let’s go.”

After a search party had been set out for Lo’ak, you and Neteyam waited in the communal area, your legs were bouncing in anxiety as torches had been lit around to make light in the dark.

Neteyam could sense your worry, he was too, but he offers you a hand on his shoulder, rubbing your back. The two of you had waited, every passing second felt like torture.

Then someone had sounded the horn.

“The boy has been found!”

Wasting no time, you stand upright with Neteyam following you as you hopped down onto the docks. The heavy weight on your chest disappearing once you see Lo’ak climbed on top.

You were about to approach him when he had that look of anger in his eyes directed at Ao’nung, he was about to launch at him when Jake had prevented him.

“He’s fine, he’s fine. It’s just a few scratches.” Jake said, making you sigh in relief as you moved forward, getting a clear view of him as Neytiri jumped down.

“I pray for the strength that I will not pluck the eyeballs out of my youngest son.” She snarled at Lo’ak, making Lo’ak shake his head, ignoring his mother.

“No, my son knows better than to take him outside the reef.” Tonowari, the olo’eyktan of the Metkayina spoke. “The blame is his.” He said, pushing his son, Ao’nung down on one knee.

You and Neteyam watch the whole scene play out.

“No, this is not Ao’nung’s fault. It was my idea.” Lo’ak then suddenly said, catching the two of you by surprise. “Ao’nung tried to talk me out of it. Really.”

After that whole ordeal was finished, you had decided to take Lo’ak to treat his wounds.

The following days had been a whirlwind of al sorts of things, good and bad. Ao’nung had finally made amends with the Sully family. You were still wary of him, but as time had passed, you also grew to like him as a friend. Now, all of you were spending the afternoon together, circled around as Lo’ak told the story of him coming across a tulkun.

“I wish I had been there. The ocean blessed you with a gift, brother.” Kiri said, smiling at Lo’ak while you sat beside him, listening.

“The tulkun have not returned yet, and- anyway, no tulkun is ever alone.” Ao’nung said, gesturing.

“Well, this one was,” Lo’ak started. “He had uh- um a missing fin. Like a stump on the left side.”

“Poor Tulkun.” You could hear Tuk say before Tsireya spoke. “Payakan. It’s Payakan.”

You tilted your head, looking at Tsireya. “Who’s Payakan?” You asked her.

Rotxo was the one to answer. “A young tulkun who went rogue. He is outcast, alone, and he has a missing fin.”

“They say he is a killer.” Tsireya told all of you.

“No.” Lo’ak muttered. “He killed Na’vi and other tulkun.” Ao’nung said, looking at Lo’ak. “Not here, but far to the south.

“No, he’s no killer.” Lo’ak looked down. “Lo’ak you are lucky to be alive.” Tsireya said.

“I’m telling you guys; he saved my life!” Lo’ak turned to you, hoping you’ll believe him as he held your hand. “He’s my friend.”

“My baby bro.” Neteyam piped up, standing behind him to place his hands on his younger brother’s shoulders. “The mighty warrior, who faced the killer tulkun, and lived to tell about it.”

Lo’ak grunted in frustration, standing up, letting go of your hand. “You guys aren’t listening.” He said, he spares one last glance at you before he was walking away.

“Lo’ak!” You called out to him, but he was already gone.

The next few days, Lo’ak had been spending more time with Payakan rather than with you, or his family. It made you miss him, of course. But there was nothing you could do as you knew Lo’ak could be quite stubborn himself. So you had busied yourself with the others, including Tsireya.

You had just reached the surface, holding onto your ilu as Tsireya smiles back at everyone. “We are here.”

You moved forward to see the absolute breath-taking view you’ve ever seen. You feel a smile creep up to your face as you breathed out “Wow.”

“This is the cove of the ancestors.” Tsireya spoke, out from the corner of your eye you could see Rotxo smiling at your reactions. “Our most sacred place.”

“Eclipse is the best time of day to be here.” Tsireya explained as you hid your face using your hand from the blinding light. Tsireya urged you all to move forward, before stopping as she extended her hand out. “This is it; this is The Spirit Tree.”

Hopping off your ilu and diving down, you were met with The Spirit Tree. Your eyes widen as you inspect it. You were beside Neteyam and Tuk while Rotxo signalled for you to attach your queue towards it. You three looked at each other, before you were grabbing onto your queue, softly placing it against the tendril.

Your mouth formed a small ‘o’ as you were overcame with the voices of their ancestors. You smiled along with Neteyam and Tuk. It truly was a beautiful thing to hear and see.

But all of that would end as the Spirit Tree begins flashing, making you look around to find Kiri’s body spasming underwater. Taking off your tsaheylu, you nudged Neteyam and pointed at her.

All of you swam towards her, both you and Neteyam grabbing a hold of either arm of hers as you swam her back up to the surface.

Neteyam lifts Kiri’s faint body on the ilu while you surround them. “Kiri!” You tried shaking her, but it was no use. “What’s wrong? What is it?!” Tuk asks, alarmed. “It was a seizure.” Neteyam answered, providing her CPR.

“Is she breathing?” Rotxo asked as you had the idea of gathering the ilu already. Once you hear Kiri’s gasp of breath, Tsireya spoke up. “Get her back to the village!”

Kiri was still unconscious and that led Jake to call on Norm and max to check upon her. It seems like Neytiri also had the same idea as she brings Ronal, the tsahik of the Metkayina towards their Marui.

You, Neteyam, and Lo’ak were stood outside, giving them room. But you couldn’t help but question Lo’ak.

“Where were you?” You asked Lo’ak as he stared at the ground. Neteyam could sense an argument coming just from the tone of your voice, he knew better than to interfere, letting you talk to his own brother as he excused himself to go inside the marui to check upon Kiri.

Lo’ak doesn’t answer. “Lo’ak.” You spoke. “Were you out looking for Payakan again?” You questioned. “I was, so what?” Lo’ak finally snapped, looking at you and standing straight, making you look up at him.

That didn’t deter you. “Lo’ak, you’re no longer spending time with us, you’re always out there!” You say, pointing towards the ocean. “You forget you have a family back here; you forget that you have me here.” You said, frowning at him. “Something worse could’ve happened to Kiri and what- you’re out there bonding with an outcast!”

You didn’t mean the words you said, and you rarely ever argued with Lo’ak. You tried to understand him, but he needed to understand you too. Lo’ak sneers at you, shaking his head “I thought you’d understand.” He said before walking off. “Lo’ak, Lo’ak!” You called out to him.

The tensions grew after a few days of not speaking to him, but Lo’ak seemed to get things together as he finally ended up apologizing to you one day as you were wrapping food. You forgave him, saying that he needed to understand where you were coming from. He realized it.

Your relationship with Lo’ak, even if it did sometimes cause arguments, it always ended up with you opening up to each other about what he or you did, or what he and you didn’t like. You were happy you got it sorted out, you didn’t want to be another thing that Lo’ak stressed about. You wanted to be there for him.

But one day, it surprised you when the horn sounded, and you could hear Tsireya’s voice. You, Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Tuk raced out the marui, wondering what was going on.

“The tulkuns have returned! Everybody! Our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya waves. Then all of you stood mesmerised as groups of tulkun had entered. Your smile widened as the people raced to jump out in the water with cheers.

You gasp, looking at Lo’ak before grabbing his hand, tugging him towards the ocean. “Let’s go!”

You ended up riding on Lo’ak’s ilu behind him, an arm wrapped around him as you pointed at the many tulkun underwater. Lo’ak followed your gaze as he drove his ilu. His hand carefully placed on your thigh so you don’t fall off. He occasionally taps it to make you look where he was looking at.

You smile, seeing the Metkayina greet their brothers and sisters, making you appreciate the beauty of it all as you lay your head on Lo’ak’s shoulder. You even spot his siblings holding onto the fins of the tulkun as they swam around.

But alas, all good things must come to an end.

One day, Tsireya and the others, including you, had decided to follow Lo’ak on one of his trips to Payakan.

You swam closer until Tsireya stops you, holding onto a stem to steady yourself.

There he was, the love of your life, Lo’ak, in front of who you deemed was Payakan as you got a good glance of his stump on his fin. You watched as the tulkun, or Payakan, open his mouth widely, making you furrow your eyebrows and look at Lo’ak.

You saw him contemplating, making you question if he was really going to go in there.

He did. You watched him as he swam inside Payakan’s mouth.

The next seconds made your heart spike. Payakan closed its mouth, completely swallowing Lo’ak whole. You and Neteyam were just about to go over him when Ao’nung held you back, as with Tsireya and Neteyam. You looked at Ao’nung and he signed ‘Wait’.

You look at him, shaking your head, wanting to go but his firm hold doesn��t make you budge. You look over at Neteyam, making him shrug. You could tell he also wanted to go to his brother.

But when Lo’ak comes out from Payakan, still in one piece, it made you relieved. But then that led to Lo’ak seeing all of you.

Unfortunately, that also led to unfortunate events as the other Metkayina hunters had spotted you outside the reef. Then it led to a lecturing by Tonowari and Ronal, furthermore, having Jake hover over Lo’ak and his actions.

But that wasn’t all, you had received the news that Ronal’s spirit sister, had been hunted and left floating in the ocean. This had angered the Metkayina, now pushing them to engage in Jake’s war.

“My spirit sister, and her baby have been murdered by Sky People!” Ronal shouted.

“This war has come to us. We knew about this hunting of our tulkun people, but it was over the horizon far away!” Tonowari said. “Now it is here!”

You frowned then felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking to the side it was Lo’ak. You hugged his side as Jake’s voice intervened. “You gotta understand how the Sky People think! They don’t care about the great balance.”

That only let the Metkayina exclaim out in anger as Neteyam spoke. “Listen, listen to him!”

“The Sky people are not gonna stop. This is only the beginning. You gotta tell your tulkun to leave, you gotta tell them to go far away!” Jake explained.

“Leave?” Ronal spat back at him. “You live among us, and you learned nothing!” Her voice breaking sends you to grip a little tighter against Lo’ak.

“We will fight to protect our brothers and sisters!” A Metkayina warrior announced, earning the praise of people as they agreed. Jake shakes his head, “If you attack, if you fight, then they will destroy you! They will destroy everything that you love!” Jake shouted. You breathed out, looking back at Lo’ak to find him looking at his father.

The people wouldn’t listen as Jake began to get frustrated. He looks for something and plucks it out of Neteyam’s grip and he presents it to the people. You tilt your head, seeing a needle-like object covered in red. You stared at it. Then silence came.

“You tell the tulkun, if they are hit by one of these they’re marked for death… call for me. I’ll silence it… saving their lives, that’s all that matters, right? Saving your family.” Jake finished.

Tonowari and Ronal looked at each other before the decision has been made. “Tell the tulkun. Go.”

Everyone had scurried away, and you could feel Lo’ak slipping from your grip as he turns around. “Lo’ak!” You called out, that gathered the attention of Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Rotxo, Ao’nung, and Neteyam as they followed you.

“Lo’ak, what are you doing?” You asked him as he placed the saddle on his ilu. “I have to warn Payakan.”

“No, Lo’ak, you’ve got to stay here.” You said sternly at him. Lo’ak shakes his head. “He is outcast. There is nobody to warn him but me!” Lo’ak defended.

Then came the footsteps of the others, Neteyam stepping right beside you as the others watched.

“Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said. Lo’ak then glared at his brother, sneering.

“No, you mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you?! The perfect little soldier- well I’m not you!” Lo’ak shouted at him.

“Lo’ak!” You scolded, looking between him and Neteyam. Neteyam exhales, frowning at his brother.

“I’m not you! Okay? He’s my brother. I’m going!” Lo’ak said.

“No, I’m your brother.” Neteyam said, gripping Lo’ak’s arm. “Get off me!” Lo’ak said jerking his arm away from Neteyam’s grip to jump on his ilu. You gasp, “Lo’ak!”

“Go, go, let’s go, he’s going to Payakan!” Neteyam pats you on the shoulder as the others nodded. You called for your ilu before jumping and making tsaheylu.

“Come back, Lo’ak!” You begged. Lo’ak doesn’t look back as he dives in the water, speeding up. The rest of you followed as you tried to fight the heavy feeling in your heart.

Reaching Payakan, you had seen Lo’ak pulling out the same tracker that Jake held earlier. Your eyes widened as you tried helping Lo’ak pull it off. “Hurry, the ships are coming! They’re over there!”

You tried to pull but it wasn’t budging. “Call dad, go! Just go, do it!” Neteyam shouted at Lo’ak. Lo’ak follows, trying to contact his father as the four of you tried to pull the tracker out of Payakan.

“It’s getting closer!” Tsireya exclaimed as you tried pulling harder, grunting. “I know!” You said, quickly diving down underwater to grab a vine, tugging it and swimming to the surface, you hand it over to them.

“Here! Ao’nung, Neteyam!” You shout. They quickly got the idea as you tied the other end of the vine to your ilu. “Go, go, go!” Ao’nung said as you mounted your ilu, commanding it to pull as hard as it can as you scream.

“Pull! Harder!” Tsireya shouted as you tried. Then it finally gives up as it was finally removed.

You tug the vine, reaching the tracker as you held it in your hands. “Go! Go with them, I’ll hold them off!” You shout. Lo’ak looks at you with uncertainty in his eyes as the others moved quickly. “Go!” You shouted at him with a hard gaze.

He nods slowly before catching up with the others. You tried to move as farther as you can, holding the tracker in your hand as you dove in. But a shockwave near you almost dismounts you from your ilu, but you kept going. Once you had deemed it was far enough, you let go, letting it drop to the ocean floor.

Now your problem was going back to them. To Lo’ak.

Your eyes scanned everywhere for any sign of them, but you couldn’t find anything. You moved up to the surface just in time for you to see two banshees carrying a net that held Tsireya and Tuk on the inside, while Lo’ak was fighting to get them out from the outside.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed. You then had to look for Neteyam, hoping he wasn’t captured as well. Then you heard the wailing of the people arriving on their skimwings. You bit your lip, looking around. Your breathing ragged as you prepared to let your ilu move. But something appeared from beside you, making you gasp but it was only Neteyam. “Shh!” He said, placing a hand on your mouth. He then lets you go when you calmed down. “Neteyam, they- they’ve got them.” You spoke. “I know. I saw.” Neteyam sighs, thinking of a way to get his siblings back. “We try to-“ Neteyam was cut off as you saw Payakan in the distance launch himself onto the ship.

“Holy shit!” Neteyam exclaimed. You then saw a bunch of boats headed at Payakan.

“That’s us, let’s go, let’s go!” Neteyam said to you as his ilu raced to the demon ship. You follow, racing beside him.

You watched as the war waged on between the Metkayina and the Sky People. Then you saw the demon ship caught on fire as it began moving in full speed towards a rock, launching itself up in the air before landing against it, slowing down to a halt.

“Follow me, alright!?” Neteyam looks back at you. You nodded frantically as you watched him dive, tagging along as you steered your ilu underwater.

Then Neteyam charges upwards, hopping off his ilu and he climbs up towards the ship, you copied his movements, landing on the ship with a loud thud.

“Neteyam! (Y/N)!” Tuk exclaimed in joy. “(Y/N)!” Lo’ak said in surprise, looking at you. “Hey there baby brother, need some help?” Neteyam chuckles as you cut off the bands of Tsireya, then Tuk with your own dagger.

Neteyam was left with Lo’ak. “Get Tuk out of here, Reya.” You said to her, patting her back as she nods, taking Tuk’s hand before jumping in the water. You then waited for Neteyam to free Lo’ak.

“Who’s the mighty warrior, hm? Come on, say it!” Neteyam teased Lo’ak who rolled his eyes, he was now cut free. You sigh in relief as you ran to embrace him as his arms wrapped around you tightly.

Resting your head on his chest as Lo’ak kisses the crown of your head.

“Come on, let’s go you two, move!” Neteyam said, chuckling. You pulled away from the hug with a chuckle. As you were about to jump off with Neteyam, that’s when Lo’ak stopped in his tracks and goes the other way, making the two of you look at him.

“Lo’ak!” Both of you shout. He picks up a rifle on the ground, cocking it. “They’ve got Spider. We’ve gotta get him, come on.” Lo’ak said, looking at the two of you. “Come on, (Y/N)?” Lo’ak looks at you when Neteyam doesn’t respond. As far as you knew, Spider was Lo’ak’s brother too, even if he was human.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.” You said, nodding. Neteyam smacks his fist on the ground before following the two of you.

Sneaking in the ship wasn’t easy, there were a lot of humans evacuating as their urgent voices filled the ship. You, Lo’ak, and Neteyam used your skills in climbing to climb upon the metal ceilings of the ship.

Then you spot the group of humans who were escorting Spider as you silently landed on a platform, sending a signal to the two of them, pointing down. You waited until you strike.

Jumping down on the ground you stuck your dagger in one, before grabbing one and flinging him to the side on the wall as Neteyam dealt with the others. You had grabbed another one and flung them out the edge, letting them fall in the ocean. Lo’ak grabs a gun, this time as he turns around, he spots another one gaining consciousness, reaching for the gun and aiming to shoot at you.

Lo’ak had acted before he thought, finger curling around on the trigger, sending bullets flying towards the human and upwards the ceiling until he lets go, the human falling limp on the ground. You flinched at the sound, turning to see Lo’ak holding a gun and the human in front of him dead. Lo’ak stared down at the human, then at his gun.

Neteyam and Spider looked before hurrying to leave. “Let’s go.” You hold Lo’ak’s hand, grounding him for a moment as he nods, running over towards the open water.

But before you could leave, one of them had already spotted you, leading you to be pushed to the side as bullets were fired. “Go! go!” All of you huddled against a corner.

“Give me that!” Neteyam snatches the gun from Lo’ak’s hand before firing at the enemy. “Go go go!” Neteyam still fired at them while Lo’ak and Spider took the opportunity to sprint and jump in the water. Due to your sudden fear creeping up in your veins, you had lagged behind.

“(Y/N), go!” Neteyam shouted at you, but you knew better you weren’t leaving Lo’ak’s brother. You knew how much Neteyam meant to Lo’ak.

Once they had stopped firing, you grabbed Neteyam with all your might, pushing and making him jump into the water as you joined him behind as another round of bullets were fired.

Jumping in the water with them, you swam under the ship before you reached the surface outside, gasping for air. “Woah! That was insane!” Lo’ak laughed, high-fiving Spider as Neteyam laughed with them.

“You are such a skxawng, brother!” Neteyam said.

You laughed with them, seeing Tsireya approach you with her ilu out from the corner of your eye. “Come on.”

“(Y/N), let’s go!” Lo’ak looked at you with a smile while Spider and Neteyam grabbed onto the ilu.

You still held a wide smile, until it quickly faded.

A sharp searing pain suddenly burrowed its way into your chest, crawling all over your torso like you were on fire from the inside. Your brows furrowed as you gasp, hand reaching over to your chest, the pressure of your finger touching the wound only adding more fuel to the fire inside of you. “Huh...” You breathed out. Tsireya, Spider, and Neteyam look over to you as what happened finally registered in Lo’ak’s brain as he saw your expression drop.

You were shot.

“Shit!” He exclaimed as he pulls you close towards him, with Neteyam helping out. You could feel them helping you up, but the burning sensation was still there as you didn’t know what was happening. “Keep her up, keep her up!” Lo’ak shouted as you felt yourself being submerged under water then you were raised up to the surface. You glanced up and was met with the ilu as you wrapped your arm around it. You were then finally hoisted upon the ilu, you figured.

You gasped again, feeling the air hit you. “Hold her up!” Lo’ak said as Neteyam pulled you up against him as your head hung low as you tried to focus on breathing. You wanted to breathe, but why was it so painful? You looked up, your vision slowly spinning. Lo’ak goes in front of you, manoeuvring the ilu.

“I got you; I got you, alright (Y/N)?” Lo’ak said, trying to find a shore he can land you on. You held your hand against your chest, retracting to find blood covering your whole palm. Your blood. You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn’t know what was happening around you and Lo’ak could only try so hard not to panic. The love of his life had just got shot. You had just got shot.

“Dad! Dad! Help! It’s (Y/N)!” Lo’ak screamed at his father. Jake hurried over as Neteyam carefully held you with Lo’ak. “It’s (Y/N), she’s hurt. Dad-“ Lo’ak explained.

You gasped and gasped, coughing as more blood seeped out from your wound. Then you found yourself being laid down, somewhere. You didn’t know. You looked to the side and saw Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak…” You gasped out. “(Y/N), (Y/N) stay still alright? We’ve got you, I’m here.” Lo’ak looked panic-stricken, Neteyam looked at his brother when Jake turned you to your side, then both Jake and Neteyam’s eyes spot the continuous blood leaking down from the exit wound on your back as you coughed out.

Jake turns you back, a knowing look on his face as he and Neteyam glanced at each other. Jake then looks at his youngest son. “Pressure, pressure! Keep pressure on it!” Jake said, placing Lo’ak’s hand on your gunshot wound. Jake seeing you in this state felt like he was losing a child of his own as your young eyes glanced everywhere.

Lo’ak pressed his hands further down your chest, making you scream out, but all that came out was sharp gasps as you tried to pry his hands away, it was too painful. You couldn’t take it. “N- No, s-stop. Stop it- p-please.” You gasp out. “No, no (Y/N). We have to keep this on here, alright, kid? Yeah? Stay with us.” Jake said. Lo’ak’s heart pounded in his chest and in his ears. It was deafening as he looks at you.

Neytiri then arrives, seeing the scene in front of her makes her rush towards you. “(Y/N)…(Y/N)!” Neytiri shouted. Neteyam looks at his mother then at you. “She- she’s been shot.” Neteyam explained.

Your chest heaved with every pressure Lo’ak kept on you, you were gripping onto his arm with the strength you have left, but it feels like every ounce of your energy was being pulled out of you.

Lo’ak’s other hand goes up to your cheek as he gulps down the lump in his throat. “(Y/N), look at me… look at me, please.” Lo’ak begged and you followed him, looking at him, your mouth agape as you still tried to catch your breath. “I- I-“ You gasp, frowning as the pain was beginning to become unbearable.

You glanced around to find yourself surrounded by the Sully family, including Tsireya, who was sobbing.

“Lo’ak, I- I don’t know what’s happening… what’s happening?” You asked urgently, tears rolling down the side of your face as you are looking around you, soon training your eyes on Lo’ak.

“W-w- what’s happening, Lo’ak?”

“Hey, hey, you’re fine, we’re going to get you some help, baby, okay? Stay with me, please, just- just keep your eyes open for me, don’t sleep, don’t sleep.” Lo’ak said, stroking your cheek. Neteyam rubbed at your arm as your chest rose and fell rapidly.

You nodded, trying to keep your eyes open for Lo’ak. For him. You could make it, for him. You were going to make it for him. You will try.

You gasp, forcing a smile your face as you reached your hand up to Lo’ak’s cheek, him instinctively leaning into your touch, Neteyam’s hands replacing the pressure on your chest as Lo’ak held your hand in his as he finally sobbed, voice breaking.

“Lo’ak..look- look at me.” You gasp out loud. Lo’ak shakes his head no. “No, no…” Lo’ak closes his eyes, afraid to open them to find you laying there, with your blood coating his hands. You look at the others, who were trying their best to keep you alive, then back at Lo’ak as you feared you were running out of the energy you had left. “Look at me..” You managed to speak calmly, finally making Lo’ak look at you, rubbing his eyes so he could see you clearly.

“G-good person, okay?” You start, your hands moving to his hands to grasp his pinky. “You are a good person… d-don’t forget.” You smile at him through blurred vision. You then coughed, still trying to catch your breath as you could taste your blood accumulating in your throat, making your words gargled. You push through as blood seeped out from the corner of your mouth due to you facing him. Then with the last bit of energy you had left, you spoke your last words as you had finally made peace with what was about to happen.

“I-I see you, Lo’ak.”

Lo’ak’s heart drops as your hand fell limp on his, your eyes who stared back at him slowly became distant as the life had been drained from you along with your smile. Lo’ak then had a blank look on his face as he started to shake his head, using his hands to cup your cheeks, wiping the blood away on your lip using his thumb.

“No... Hey.. (Y/N)… don’t do this to me (Y/N)… (Y/N)! Don’t do this to me, come on please, hey.” Lo’ak shouted, now trying to shake you awake as your hand fell limp beside you. “No no, wake up, wake up, wake up.” Lo’ak said, trying to shake you awake again before grabbing your hand and placing it against his chest.

“Wake up.” He whispers, squeezing your hand, yet you didn’t squeeze back. Jake stared at you, then at his son as his heart felt like it was being torn apart. Neytiri had stared before she cried out a scream of agony, clinging against Jake.

Neteyam looked at your lifeless form. He slowly retrieved his hands from your chest, looking at them, palms smeared with your blood. He frowns, dropping and leaning against his dad as he allowed himself to silently cry for you. Tsireya shakes her head, holding onto your legs, trying to shake them, hoping that you would still respond as sobs wracked her body. Spider stared at you, gulping as his tears still came out, feeling sorry for his brother.

Lo’ak looks up at the sky, almost wanting to curse every being that took you from him. You didn’t deserve this. Lo’ak fights with himself to look at you once more. His eyes meeting your face, pale and blank. Lo’ak shakes his head, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault, I’m sorry. I’m so-“ Sobs were ripped out from him as he cried onto you, lifting your limp body up his arms as he hugged you. All he felt was your lifeless form, as he was taken back to the times you’d respond with hugging him back.

Lo’ak swallows down another lump down his throat as he shakily presses a kiss towards your forehead.

He had lost you, his life. The one who truly understood him. The one who eased his worry and pain ever since he could remember, now being the one who caused it tenfold. He wanted to scream, he wanted to go berserk.

Lo’ak still hugged your lifeless body against his, forehead leaned against your cheek as he muttered apologies.

“I’m sorry.”

[tyvnzz]

synopsis: You and kai have been crushing on each other, but both are too scared to act on it. Luckily, your friends are determined to help push you out of your comfort zones and make sure love finds a way!

warnings: nothing bad just pure fluff

word count: 3.7k

pairings: hueningkai x reader

You remember the first time you met Kai. He was truly the sweetest person you’ve met. From that moment, you were helplessly captivated by him. Every smile, every gentle touch, every lingering look he sent your way had you wrapped around his finger. It was almost embarrassing how easily he could pull you in, but there was just something about him—so effortlessly endearing, so impossibly cute.

It was no wonder you couldn’t resist developing a crush on him. You found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to actually date him, imagining the warmth and joy he’d bring to your life. God, it would be a dream.

What you didn’t realize was that he felt the same way. Hueningkai having his first crush. And he wasn’t exactly subtle. Always right by your side, ‘following you around like a lost puppy’ his friends always say. And maybe they were right. He couldn’t help himself—you were just so perfect to him.

It was great that you both had a crush on each other—really, it was! The only problem? Well...

“You guys are such pussies, seriously,” Yuqi huffed, crossing her arms. “Yuqi, come on! Don’t say that!” you whined, though you couldn’t exactly argue with her.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not wrong. Both of you are so obviously into each other, but you’re too scared to confess. It’s painful, honestly. Watching you two circle each other like lost puppies pretending you don’t care? Sickening.”

“I know he likes me, Yuqi!” you snapped, frustration lacing your tone. “It’s just that I’m…”

“A pussy?” she interjected, one eyebrow raised. “Scared is what I was going to say,” you mumbled, cheeks burning.

“Mhm, right,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. Before she could launch into another one of her rants, you noticed him entering the room.

Your breath hitched. There he was, looking as effortlessly good as ever, his hair slightly messy like he’d just run his hands through it. He glanced around casually, but the second his eyes landed on you, they lingered just a moment too long. A small, nervous smile tugged at his lips, and you felt your heart skip a beat.

Yuqi didn’t miss a thing. “Oh my God,” she muttered under her breath, following your line of sight. “He’s right there. Go talk to him!”

“What? No way!” you hissed, instinctively shrinking into your seat.

“Yes way!” she insisted, nudging you hard enough to almost send you flying out of your chair.

“Yuqi, stop!” you whisper-yelled, panic flooding your voice. But of course, your little commotion had already drawn his attention. He raised an eyebrow and started walking toward you. Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

“Hi,” he said, his voice soft and unsure, as if he was just as nervous as you were. You opened your mouth to respond, but all that came out was a strangled, “H-hey.”

You’d never felt this hot before, your skin practically burning with embarrassment. You were certain you were red from head to toe.

“So, uh, are we still on for today’s study session?” he asked, his hand rubbing the back of his neck in that endearingly nervous way he always did. God you loved when he did that. He’s too cute.

“I-I—yeah! Of course!” you stammered, your cheeks heating up instantly as you tried not to look like a complete mess.

“Great! So, I’ll see you at 3?” he asked, his smile warm and a little shy.

“Yep,” you replied, forcing yourself to smile through the whirlwind of nerves.

“Alright, see you then,” he said, giving you a quick wave before heading off to join his friends.

The moment he was out of earshot, Yuqi let out an exaggerated groan, throwing her head back dramatically. “That was painful to watch,” she muttered, rubbing her temples like she had a headache.

“Oh, shut up, Yuqi,” you shot back, your face still burning.

You’d definitely be punching Yuqi later.

Soon enough, it was 4 o'clock. Had time sped up, or were you going crazy? You couldn't tell. Sitting alone at the empty table in the library, you waited patiently for Kai, your mind wandering back to what Yuqi had said. Sure, you knew Kai liked you—he wasn’t exactly subtle about it. But for some reason, you were nervous. And it wasn’t because you doubted his feelings; you were certain he liked you back. So… why were you so scared?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the soft creak of the library door. Looking up, you saw Kai’s head peeking around, searching the room until his eyes landed on you. His face brightened immediately, and he made his way over with that familiar, shy smile that made your heart skip a beat.

“H-Hey! Sorry I’m a little late,” he said, plopping his bag down on the table. “I had to stay back and talk to Mrs. Park. You know how she is…” He rolled his eyes, looking genuinely annoyed.

“Oh God, not Mrs. Park!” you said, covering your mouth to stifle a giggle.

“Right? She’s such a… ugh, you know!” He crossed his arms with a huff. “She seriously has it out for me, I’m telling you!”

You laughed. “Kai, you know you can just call her a bitch, right? She’s not listening.”

He grinned, shaking his head. “I’m serious! She’s been out to get me since day one. I’m really gonna… I dunno… beat her up or something!”

“Beat her up?” you snorted, dissolving into laughter. “Kai, you couldn’t even kill a fly, come on!” You leaned forward, still laughing, and without realizing it, you rested against his arm.

Kai froze. His heart thundered in his chest, so loud he was sure you could hear it. Holy shit. This was the closest you’d ever been to him, leaning on him like this. It felt surreal, like he was in some kind of dream.

“Oh god! I can’t breathe, seriously!” you gasped, wiping a tear from your eye as you tried to regain your composure.

Kai managed a shaky smile, his voice softer than usual. “Glad to know I’m that funny.”

You glanced up at him, still grinning, and for a moment, you both just… looked at each other. There was a warmth in his eyes that made your heart skip. The laughter died down, and suddenly, the room felt quieter, the distance between you both smaller.

He cleared his throat, his voice barely above a whisper. “You know… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh this hard before.”

You smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up again. “Guess you bring out the best in me,” you replied softly, the words spilling out before you had a chance to think them through.

Kai’s eyes widened slightly, but his face broke into a gentle, almost shy smile. “Yeah? ‘Cause… you do the same to me.”

A flutter of excitement surged through you, your breath catching as his words hung in the air. Neither of you moved, both caught in the moment, waiting for the other to make the first move.

You could feel your heart pounding as the space between you seemed to shrink, his face just inches from yours. Oh my god, you thought, are we actually going to kiss?

His gaze flickered down to your lips, and you held your breath, not daring to move. Every nerve in your body was on edge, and the world around you faded away until it was just the two of you in this perfect moment.

“___!! I HAVE GOOD NEWS!” a voice screamed, cutting through the quiet library.

You can’t be serious…

You and Kai immediately pulled apart, the warmth of the moment shattering as you both scrambled to regain your composure. The voice grew louder, its owner clearly determined to announce whatever good news they had.

“YOU WON’T BELIEVE— Oh…” Yuqi’s voice trailed off as she stopped in her tracks, eyes widening slightly when she noticed how you and Kai both looked a little flushed.

A mischievous smile spread across her face as she leaned against the bookshelf, clearly connecting the dots. “Did I interrupt something?” she asked, her tone teasing.

You and Kai exchanged an awkward glance, both of you silently willing her to just let it go.

Now you had an even better reason to punch Yuqi.

“YOU CAN’T KEEP AVOIDING HIM!” Yuqi shouted, her hands firmly planted on her hips as she glared down at you sprawled across your bed.

Ever since she’d interrupted your close-kiss with Kai, the two of you had been doing everything possible to avoid each other. The second you caught sight of his familiar black hair or his tall frame, you’d turn and head in the opposite direction. And Kai? Anytime he heard your sweet laugh or spotted your smile across the hallway, he’d retreat just as fast. But despite the avoidance, you couldn’t get him out of your head. The way he’d looked at you in that moment.. It was burned into your memory.

“I can too,” you muttered, burying your face in a pillow. Then, with a pointed look, you added, “And don’t think you’re off the hook. I still have to punch you for interrupting our study session.”

“Study session?” she snorted, raising an eyebrow. “You sure it wasn’t about to turn into a makeout session?”

You shot her a glare before turning back to the textbooks scattered across your bed, pretending to be deeply engrossed in them.

“Listen,” Yuqi said, her tone softening just a little, “all I’m saying is that you can’t avoid him forever. At some point, you’re going to have to talk to him.”

“Yuqi…” you groaned, dragging her name out in frustration.

“Fine, fine,” she huffed, throwing her hands up in defeat. “But if you won’t do anything about this, then I will.”

Before you could even process what she meant, she spun on her heel and marched out of your room, slamming the door shut behind her.

You stared after her, blinking. “Yeah, right. What’s she gonna do?” you mumbled to yourself, shaking your head as you turned back to your books.

But the uneasy feeling in your gut told you that when it came to Yuqi, you should never underestimate her.

But you brushed that uneasy feeling aside, as the next morning came. Going about your day as usual. And by lunchtime, everything still felt normal—or so you thought.

Walking into the cafeteria, you quickly spotted Yuqi waving from her usual spot. With a small sigh of relief, you made your way over and sat across from her.

She was giggling at something on her phone, her shoulders shaking as her fingers flew over the screen.

“Texting that guy from chem class?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Her head snapped up, and in one swift motion, she locked her phone and flipped it face down on the table. “What guy?” she asked, a little too quickly.

You squinted at her. That was weird—Yuqi was never secretive about her phone.

“You know who I’m talking about! The guy you’re always staring at instead of taking notes,” you teased, a sly grin forming on your lips.

Her cheeks flushed slightly, and she crossed her arms defensively. “I don’t stare at anyone,” she huffed, though the way her eyes darted to the side said otherwise.

“Sure, sure,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “Whatever you say, Yuqi.”

But something about her sudden change in demeanor stuck in the back of your mind. Maybe she was hiding something... or someone.

“Hey, hey! I’m serious!” she pouted, puffing out her cheeks.

“Mhm, right…” you replied, smirking as you took a bite of your food.

“And you shouldn’t be talking anyway! Always avoiding Kai…” she shot back, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s different! So it doesn’t count,” you huffed, crossing your arms defensively.

“Oh really?” Yuqi smirked, leaning in closer. “Are you still mad I interrupted your makeout session?”

“Study session,” you corrected firmly, your cheeks heating up. “We were studying, not making out.”

“Mhm, right…” she drawled, clearly unconvinced, her smirk widening.

You shot her a glare. “Don’t make me punch you again.”

“Anyways,” she said, rolling her eyes dramatically. “I actually have something I wanna ask you.”

“Go on,” you prompted, raising an eyebrow at her sudden change in tone.

“Your teacher isn’t here today, right?”

“Which one?”

“Your lit teacher. You know, the bald one.”

“Yeah, he’s not here. Why?”

“Nothing! Just curious,” she said with an overly sweet smile.

Before you could press further, her phone buzzed against the table. She quickly picked it up, her face lighting up as she read the message.

You watched her, narrowing your eyes. Yuqi was definitely up to something, but what?

With the day finally ending, you couldn’t wait to get home and throw yourself onto your bed, and do absolutely nothing. With no homework assigned, the thought of sleeping the rest of the day off felt like a rare, well-earned reward.

As the final bell rang, you finished scribbling the last of your notes and slid them into your notebook. After packing everything into your backpack, you slung it over your shoulder and headed out of the classroom.

Walking down the hall, you paused when you heard a faint creak coming from up ahead. It was quiet, but just loud enough to catch your attention.

Curious, you made your way toward the sound, stopping in front of a classroom with its door slightly ajar. You peeked inside, but all you could see was darkness.

Before you could pull away, you were suddenly shoved into the dark room. A faint ‘click’ echoed in the silence as the door slammed shut behind you.

Panicking, you rushed to the door, desperately jingling the doorknob, but it wouldn’t budge. It was locked…

“Hello?” a quiet voice called out from the shadows.

You froze, your heart skipping a beat. Who else was in here?

“Is anyone there?” the voice asked again.

Wait… was that–

“Kai? Is that you?”

You fumbled along the wall, your hands brushing against the cold surface until, finally, your fingers brushed over the light switch. With a quick flick, the lights buzzed to life, revealing Kai standing on the opposite side of the room.

“Kai? What are you doing here?” you asked, still trying to process the situation.

“I-I was, uh, trying to find Yuqi's purse…” he stammered, his voice trailing off awkwardly.

You blinked, confused. What?

“Kai… Yuqi hates purses,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh,” he replied, his face turning a shade of red as he scratched the back of his neck.

You stared at Kai for a moment, trying to piece things together. The more you thought about it, the more everything seemed… off. Something didn’t add up.

Yuqi hated purses, so why on earth would Kai be looking for one? And then there was the fact that you both ended up locked in this room.

Suddenly, it hit you.

"Wait a minute..." you muttered under your breath.

Kai’s eyes widened, and he quickly glanced around the room, clearly nervous. “What? What is it?”

"You and I," you said slowly, piecing it together, "we’ve been avoiding each other for weeks, and now, somehow, we’re both stuck in here. And—" You paused, turning the situation over in your mind. "Yuqi and the others… they planned this, didn’t they?"

Kai blinked, clearly confused for a moment, but as realization set in, his face fell. "Oh, no," he groaned, his head sinking into his hands. "They set us up, didn’t they?"

You couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation was. "I think our friends just wanted to see us finally admit we’re both idiots who’ve been avoiding each other for no reason."

Kai let out a deep sigh, but a small smile tugged at his lips. "Guess we really are idiots," he said quietly. "And now, we’re stuck in here."

You smiled back, the tension between you easing slightly. "Guess we are," you agreed. "So... what now?"

“Maybe we could find a key somewhere?” he suggested, scanning the room with a hopeful glance.

“Won’t work,” you replied, shaking your head. “Only teachers have keys to these rooms, and they’ve probably left by now.”

“Dammit,” he muttered under his breath, clearly frustrated.

You watched as Kai continued to look around, his mind racing for a way out. The tension between you two was notable, but it was hard to ignore the fact that you were stuck together—probably for longer than either of you had expected.

For some reason, your mind kept circling back to what Yuqi had said the night before:

“Listen, all I’m saying is that you can’t avoid him forever. At some point, you’re going to have to talk to him.”

She was right. As much as you hated to admit it, Yuqi had proven her point. Avoiding Kai wasn’t working. Hiding your feelings wasn’t working. Eventually, he was going to find out, one way or another.

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself as you glanced over at Kai. He was sitting on one of the stools, his expression still etched with frustration as he tried to come to terms with the fact that you were both stuck here.

“Kai,” you said softly.

“Yeah?” He looked up, his brows furrowing slightly as his dark eyes met yours.

You stepped closer, your heart pounding in your chest until you were standing directly in front of him. Before you could overthink it, you reached out, gently taking both of his hands in yours, your fingers intertwining with his.

“Kai…” You paused for a moment, searching his face as you tried to find the right words. “Ever since I met you…I’ve felt something—something I couldn’t explain at first,” you admitted, your voice soft but steady. “But the more time I spent with you, the clearer it became. You make me feel… safe, happy, and like I can be myself.”

Kai’s eyes widened slightly, and you could feel his hands tense in yours, but he didn’t pull away. If anything, he held on tighter, as if grounding himself in the moment.

“I tried to ignore it,” you continued, letting out a small, nervous laugh. “Tried convincing myself it was just a crush, something that would pass, but it hasn’t. And avoiding you? That just made everything worse.” You took another deep breath, your gaze locked on his. “I like you, Kai. A lot. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t.”

Kai was silent for a moment, his eyes searching yours as if trying to make sure he wasn’t imagining any of this. Slowly, a smile began to spread across his face, soft and genuine.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Before you could respond, Kai gently tugged you closer, his forehead resting against yours. “I like you too. So much, it’s been driving me crazy. But I didn’t think you felt the same…”

“Well,” you said, a smile tugging at your lips as your nerves started to melt away. “I guess we’re both idiots, huh?”

Kai chuckled, his breath warm against your skin. “Yeah, but at least we’re idiots together.”

The space between you seemed to shrink, and before you knew it, his lips were on yours—soft, warm, and everything you’d been hoping for. The kiss was slow and sweet, carrying all the emotions you’d both been holding back for so long.

When you finally pulled away, you both let out quiet laughs, still holding each other close.

“So… being stuck in here wasn’t so bad after all,” Kai teased, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Yeah” you said, though you couldn’t help the smile that lingered on your face.

“Good,” he said, his fingers gently intertwining with yours as all of you walked out of the room together.

You both stayed locked in each other’s gaze, the silence stretching between you until Kai finally broke it.

“C-Can I kiss you again?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You don’t even have to ask,” you replied, a soft smile spreading across your face.

Kai leaned in, his hands gently tightening around yours, but just as his lips were about to meet yours again, the door flew open with a loud bang.

“___? KAI? ARE YOU GUYS—OH MY GOD!” Yuqi’s voice pierced through the air as the door swung open.

You and Kai jumped apart, your faces both heating up as Yuqi and his friends spilled into the room.

“FINALLY!” Beomgyu shouted, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. “I couldn’t take watching you two avoid each other anymore!”

“Or acting like lovesick puppies around each other,” Taehyun added with a smirk, crossing his arms as he leaned casually against the doorframe.

Your eyes darted between them, your suspicion confirmed. “I *knew* you guys planned this,” you said, narrowing your eyes at Yuqi, who was grinning like she’d just won the lottery.

“Well, duh,” Yuqi said with zero remorse. “You two were hopeless. Someone had to step in!”

Kai let out a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “So… this was all part of some big scheme, huh?”

“Obviously,” Beomgyu said, grinning. “And judging by those red faces, we nailed it.”

“Red? Who’s red? I’m not red,” you said quickly, fanning your face as if that would help.

“Oh, you’re red,” Taehyun chimed in, smirking. “But hey, you’re welcome. Now you two can stop being awkward and just… be together already.”

Kai glanced at you, his shy smile growing as his fingers brushed yours. “Well,” he said softly, his voice just loud enough for you to hear, “I guess we owe them a thank you… right?”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your face gave you away. “Maybe. But don’t let it go to your heads,” you shot back, glaring playfully at Yuqi and the others.

“Too late!” Yuqi said, cackling as she threw her arm around Beomgyu’s shoulder.

As the group began to leave the room, laughing and teasing you both, Kai leaned in close, his voice warm and full of affection. “So, does this mean we’re official?”

You looked up at him, your heart skipping a beat. “Yeah, it does,” you said, smiling.

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

You’re right, Feyre stans are rarely just Feyre stans.

hi anon!

yep! this was specifically solidified for me after silver flames came out. feyre stans have been conditioned to always validate rhysand's intention over feyre's opinion. again - feyre has established that she:

(1) does not want rhysand to speak about her sisters in a disrespectful manner. feyre validates rhysand emotions about her sisters - meaning she isn't saying (and im not saying) that rhysand doesn't have a right to feel a certain way about her sisters. but that rhysand's feelings should not manifest in jabs and disrespectful words:

“Rhys said smoothly, “I’m not entirely sure Velaris is prepared for Nesta Archeron.” “My sister’s not some feral animal,” I snapped. Rhys recoiled a bit, the others suddenly finding the carpet, the divan, the books incredibly fascinating. “I didn’t mean that.”

feyre to rhysand.

“So she keeps saying, over and over,” Amren grumbled. I shot her a glare. “Careful.”

feyre to amren.

that's a boundary being set - clear as day. feyre does not approve or condone outright disrespect of her sisters. this has nothing to do with how we believe xyz or what rhys has a right to do, but what feyre has established as a no go.

(2) that she does not feel comfortable with rhysand being overly protective, to the point he withholds information, is overly violent, or conflicts with her wants:

“It’s hard to shut down my instincts.” Instincts. Just like … like someone else had instincts to protect, to hide me away. “Then you should have prepared yourself better,” I snapped. “You seemed to be going along just fine with it, until Keir said—”

rhys to feyre; feyre to rhys (acomaf)

(3)feyre doesn't care about instincts (as is an excuse used in sf), here she is telling rhys straight up that he needs to prepare himself better. bc she DOES NOT feel comfortable with the way rhys expressed his frustration. and again feyre is sympathetic to his reasonings, but she does not believe his intentions (in this case) justify the way he chooses to go about these things.

“I craned my neck to look up at him. “Never lie to me again. Not about that.”

feyre to rhys (acowar)

(4) again - feyre establishing a boundary. never lie to her about anything, especially important things.

feyre (and also fucking amren) also establishes that she doesn't believe that keeping her sisters couped up in the house of wind to be productive or helpful:

“If you want to start convincing your sisters, get them out of the House. Being cooped up never helped anyone.”

amren to feyre (acowar)

and nesta has established to rhys that she wants no interest in cassian:

“Nesta had made it clear enough she had no interest in Cassian—not even in being in the same room as him. I knew why. I’d seen it happen, had felt that way plenty.”

rhysand to az (acofas)

feyre also establishes - to rhys - that her she knows her sisters don't do well with public humiliation, and making a scene:

“ “I shouldn’t have asked her in public. I made a mistake.” and “I loosed a long sigh. “I should have considered that telling strangers what happened to her in Hybern might … might not be something she was comfortable with. My sister has been a private person her entire life, even amongst us.”

feyre to rhys (acowar).

im saying allll of this to say that in sf - rhysand literally takes all of these boundaries and shits on them. even his creation of the intervention conflicits against what feyre establishes: (1) her sister is a private person, and will not respond well to public humilation (2) nesta wants nothing to do with cassian (3) her sisters are not healty being in the house of wind and (4) feyre wants to be looped in and considered every step of the way. even the act of creating an intervention that goes so instinctively against feyre's wishes is an act of deep disrespect. that feyre stans can see these moments and still justify them bc their hatred for nesta and obsession w/ rhys trumps their 'love' for feyre. its a conditional like. here feyre is the victim and instead of writing metas and ff about feyre being done dirty by rhysand - they flock to justify rhysand's point to the point where they're willing to ignore feyre's opinions. its not abt how much we like / dislike the sisters. but how rhys's behavior conflicts against feyre's wants and boundaries. its about how those feyre stans would rather validate rhys then stand by feyre's emotions. to imply that rhysand's actions were appropriate means u place his actions above feyre.

feyre is adult and mature enough to manage her emotions, she not a child, she is perfectly able to stand-up and put her foot down. and she has - on multiple occasions retorted and fought back against her sisters - to consistently pretend feyre is a child who needs rhys to cosign and stand body-guard when feyre is perfectly able to do it herself says so much abt those 'stans' than they are willing to admit.

like feyre was able to face down tamlin - her abuser - all by her damn self. she's not some child who needs people to consistently defend her by undermining her opinions. if she wanted rhys to be an asshole to nesta - we would have saw that. instead we got this:

“That’s enough,” Feyre snapped at Rhys. “I told you to keep out of it.” He dragged his star-flecked eyes to his mate, and it was all Nesta could do to keep from collapsing onto the couch as her knees gave out at last. Feyre angled her head, nostrils flaring, and said to Rhysand, “You can either leave, or you can stay and keep your mouth shut.”

we got feyre telling rhys and amren that she did not want them to behave that way. and even after that. both rhys and amren continue ignoring feyre's requests. feyre is not respected - these are not the actions of people who respect her as an equal. she's a child to them , and they believe they know better.

idk - if i were a feyre stan- yall would never have shut me up if my fav was treated like a doormat and sidelined. i would have been writing scathing metas on rhys and the ic. - i wouldve been explaining exactly why rhys withholding information was wrong - not just vaguely saying he was wrong and then justifying why he did it. i would have been an amren hater #1 for how she continually undermined feyre. idk...yall are not real feyre shooters. like damn your fav is catching strays by the author and the readers and you're only focused on how nesta factors into that equation?? like youve got bigger problems to worry abt here. feyre has been continually and consistently phased out of her own story by the author and that don't bother yall? hmm couldnt be me tho.

[melimelissa998]

Slut!

Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You knew how handsome Jungkook was, but you also knew you didn't have a chance with him, so to befriend him was a safer option. But sometimes being kind can give the wrong idea...

“Did, you, hear?” my coworker Daniela asks with big pauses in between, I’m too busy with my morning reports that I didn’t notice when she sat on my desk “The new guy is going to be working on our floor for a few weeks” she informs me and I nod “Yep, you texted, emailed and told me that on the phone before I got here Dany” I say without taking my eyes off the computer screen.

Almost a month ago a new guy started working here and that’s all this office has been talking about since then. How handsome he is, how good he dresses, how lovely he talks… and the list goes on and on. Even though he had a month here, I haven’t actually seen him, besides, I went off vacations the week he started working on our floor.

Honeslty at this point he's not even the new guy anymore

“He’s just so handsome, his name is Jeon Jungkook, he’s a Virgo, 5’11”, went to Global Cyber University, and I swear, I’m in love.” She puts one hand on her chest and fans herself with the other. “Aw, good for you, stalker.” I say in a sarcastic tone “. I except my wedding invitation” I joke with a fake smile and she lets out an exaggerated sight. “He’s in the conference room with Namjoon and Taehyung, want to pass by to see him?” She suggests and gives me a small push on the shoulder “Did you say pass the conference room to see the new guy?” Jennie’s head pops out of her cubicle, I try not to laugh but I give in and accept “Only because it’s on my way to the cafeteria and I want my coffee” I say and she claps in excitement, I turn off my screen and hop off my chair. Jennie walks around the desk to loop her arm with mine and tugs me to start walking. As we pass by the long window, I spot the 3 men inside the room; Namjoon and Tae are facing our direction leaning on the meeting table talking to the Jungkook, who was giving his back to us. “Ugh, I swear he’s so handsome” Jennie says in a whisper, “I know right?” Daniela agrees, I try to look behind her head to take a better look at the new guy, but I only catch a glimpse of his profile. He has black hair and a really cute nose; his jaw looks really sharp and I see how many earrings he has and I think that’s what shocks me the most. “I can’t see his face but yeah he looks cute” I compliment, they agree with a giggle and I feel dumb remembering we are not teenagers anymore but sure act like it in the office.

While finishing our coffee and telling my friends how my vacations were, I hear the attempt of whispers coming from a certain area in the room, the 3 of us turn to see why there were loud whispers and it was all because the new guy was entering the cafeteria. I take a better look at him, handsome indeed. “Oh, so now I see why we’re all drooling for him.” I say and look at Daniela and she wiggles her eyebrows at me.“I heard Ari invited him for a drink and he said no” Jennie tells us and I can’t help but grimace. “Yeah? I heard it was Jihyo who invited him for dinner?” Daniela says in a question tone. “Her, Ari, Hanna and even Supervisor Yuri asked him out, but he keeps rejecting people, I mean come on, Ari? Who says no to her? Like the hottest one from the office?” Jennie rolls her eyes and I can’t help but laugh at her frustration. “Come on, he’s been here less than a month, let him breath.” I defend the poor guy, Daniela gives me a small push “You should ask him out Y/N, he looks like your type” she encourages me and I shake my head “Nop, if he rejected Ari and Hanna AND supervisor Yuri, then no.”

I take the last sip of my coffee and trash it out. Jennie and Daniela do the same and as we walk out the cafeteria, I hear someone call out the unfamiliar name of ‘Jungkook’ andby instinct I turn to see who called his name, I see there’s a coworker in front of Jungkook and he half smiles at her. I see his face with a “here we go again” expression, she gives him a small box with a bow on it and hear her ask if they could talk in private. I can’t help to chuckle thinking how we were just talking about this, he must’ve heard me because he turns to look at my direction, he stares at me but I can’t read if he’s mad about my laugh or just casually felt my gaze on him; I don’t turn away, I like how his eyes are dark brown but I still see a sparkly cute glow in them that make me want to keep staring. I start to feel conscious about how I haven't taken my eyes off him so I turn around a little ashamed and keep walking straight out of there back to my desk again.

Around 12, I feel so bored and try to distract myself with anything else I can do until I have my lunch break in 30 more minutes, so I decide to make Jimin a visit to his office to catch up on my days off, I take a fake deck of papers and walk to the elevator to go up, when I arrive to his floor, I greet his assistant and let her know that I need Jimin to sign a few documents; “Of course you do Miss Y/N” she jokes “He’s already waiting for you” she points with her head to his office and I try to not laugh.

Jimin and I meet here at work, even though we were side by side cubicle we would only exchange ‘HI’s’ and ´Good mornings´ the first couple of months, but one day I saw him reading one of my favorite books and started chatting more and book clubbing during our lunch hour, then he got promoted to a higher position and moved 2 floors higher, but even so we still kept meeting up and sneak in his office to gossip or just hide from our work responsibilities slash wait until lunch to run off.

I knock on his door and don’t wait to hear him say come in, “Excuse me Mr. Park, I need your very important signature on these reports” I fake a serious tone and I see him panic for a second before realizing it’s just me. “Oh Y/N! you’re back” he gets up and walks to hug me.

We sit on his sofa and catch up about work, my vacations, a few gossips that’s been going around the company and of course we talk about Jungkook.

He talks about how they already knew each other before work because of Tae, he also told me how done he’s with all the girls at the company because they keep flirting with him. “I’m telling you, on the first day he had already like 8 sticky notes in his office with their numbers” he kept telling me, I didn’t want to laugh because I did feel bad for Jungkook, but I couldn’t believe how crazy they were for him, “I mean he is handsome, but oh my god, I would never do that” I say and he smirks at me “Oh so you won’t ask him out?” he asks and I shake my head “Oh hell no, I know where I stand here” I say and he rolls his eyes “Don’t say that, you are very pretty, you may have a shot” he encourages me “I know I’m pretty.” I brush my hair behind my shoulder “. But I also know when I have my shot” I shrug my shoulders and try to change the topic about what we were going to have for lunch.

Jimin and I pick a restaurant near the office close enough to walk to and invite our friends to join us. As we sit at our table Namjoon asks if it’s okay if Jungkook could join us, which we said it was fine, Jennie and I look at each other and giggled. The only chair free by the time Jungkook arrives is the one next to me and even if I told myself I wouldn’t try to ask him out that didn’t make me not be nervous. He greets us and we say hi back.

During our lunch I felt Jungkook too quit and I didn’t want him to feel left out “So Jungkook, how do you like the job so far?” I ask him and he turns a little confused at me “It’s fine, I’m okay” he answers and I expect for a little more than that but I realize that was all he is going to give me. I nod a little embarrassed and try again “That’s nice, and what about the city? Jimin told me you were from Busan” I do the small talk but again he answers with a few words “It’s nice, almost the same” I feel even more stupid and turn to finish my food.

And to think they said he was lovely…

For the rest of the lunch he would keep a conversation with the boys and that kinda made me a bit mad how he would chat with them but made me feel small…

2.

[shallowseeker]

The Exodus convo between Lucifer and Gabe was so good, really.

You see, I think the conversation between Gabriel and Lucifer in Exodus 13x22 was good because they were both right, and they were both wrong!

Gabriel is leaning too far into Chuck's POV, blaming the victim, blaming Lucifer for the things that happened TO him.

GABRIEL: (incredulous at Lucifer’s gall) Okay, you think Dad was the ‘bad guy,’ and you were a victim? You were not a victim. That was just your excuse. LUCIFER: My excuse for what? GABRIEL: For it all, Lucifer. For it all.

It's great because Gabriels is a little bit wrong here. We've seen the Mark up-close and we've seen how it takes away free will. The fact of the matter is that, even in Chuck's own words, Lucifer was a victim. Chuck's line about "Lucifer always casting a jaundiced eye" is a rationalization—Chuck sidestepping his own culpability.

Because even if Lucifer had those undercurrents, the Mark, as we saw, eradicates impulse control. Choosing not to act on ugly thoughts is an essential component of free well.

Lucifer was both a victim AND a perpetrator.

///

Responsibility, wants, and needs:

But Gabe's also right, that at some point Lucifer has to take responsibility for his own actions instead of blaming everything on "a bad childhood." (See Vince!Lucifer's words: "And because being Lucifer? So much Judeo-Christian baggage. But Vince? He's famous. Everybody loves him. And I need love. I had a really jacked childhood.")

(((Aside/// Ah, yes. The two SPN character archetypes: "I need/deserve love" and "I'm unworthy of love."))))

Anyway, It's a bit of a thematic warning that everything Sam and Dean do can't be laid at the feet of John Winchester. At some point, as an adult, you have to stand up and take responsibility for your actions.

GABRIEL: (amused at Lucifer’s frustration) It is really killing you, you’re not out there impressing your kid, huh? Lucifer, do you really see a version here where he sticks by you? LUCIFER: (shrugging) I think the kid is pretty blown away by his old man, so... Yeah. I do. GABRIEL: He’s a kid. He likes shiny objects and magic tricks. But he’s not like you. I can see it in his eyes. His mother’s bloodline, the Winchesters’ influence... LUCIFER: I can be an influence.

Lucifer wants.

But Jack's humanness, his human-centered locus of morality, separates the two of them utterly.

///

Redemption for thee but not for me?

It's interesting a little bit because we see all sorts of evil characters get redemption. Amara spends an entire season sucking out souls and bringing on immense destruction to earth (see: TVss filled with storms, fires, and destruction), and yet... characters like John Winchester, like Lucifer, when it comes to the faintest whiff of redemption, we balk.

I'm not saying they necessarily should get redemption, but our instinctive reaction to the idea is interesting to me. Certain characters' symbolism with respect to evil is so deeply embedded that we cling to our own revenge against them.

And when we care more about who they hurt, we tend to be less forgiving.

///

Too late for Lucifer // Too late for Chuck?

LUCIFER: I’ve changed. [Gabriel stands and walks over to Lucifer.] GABRIEL: Dude, it’s me. I’ve known you since the stars were made. You can’t change. You’re incapable of empathy or love. You live to be worshiped or feared. Or both. LUCIFER: Okay. I--I see that you’ve -- you’ve drunk the Kool-Aid. Fine. [Lucifer pouts, shooing Gabriel way as he turns back towards the truck.] GABRIEL (sarcastically): Oh, is this the part where you tell me that, uh, Dad made up all those so-called lies about you? Got it. LUCIFER (getting angry): Yeah! Yeah, Pop locked me up, okay? GABRIEL (also getting angry): Don’t you get it? Humans were innocent and beautiful. But you...you couldn’t stand that the old man loved them more than He loved you. So you tempted them and corrupted them just to prove how flawed they were. LUCIFER (threateningly) You better be careful, man. GABRIEL: Dad saw that your evil was like the first few cells of cancer...that it would spread like the disease unless He cut it out. That is why He locked you up, to stop the cancer. But it was too late then. And guess what? It’s too late for you now. [Gabriel turns away, leaning on the truck bed and looking back at the camp. Lucifer stares at Gabriel, a lone tear falling from his eye, before he too turns the other way and stares off into the darkness.]

Is it ever too late? I think that's the biggest question of all. And it sticks out to me too that while Gabriel blames Lucifer for his own corruption (the Mark), he gives humans a pass. In Gabe's mind, they're not responsible for their own corruption! Bit of a conundrum, isn't it? Because it's hypocritical to Gabe's overarching point about being responsible for your own actions...

For that matter, what was the "cancer" Lucifer corrupted them with? Was it evil... or was it free will?

Aside/// It's also interesting to me... After Gabriel pronounces his judgment, he turns away so as not to be moved by Lucifer's tears, but note: he is moved by them—he doesn't leave Lucifer's side.

///

Anyway, Lucifer may have killed Gabe, but simultaneously, Gabe is one of the people Lucifer still loves and who still loves Lucifer. It's why the conversation actually hurts.

It's perhaps one of the reasons Lucifer steps up to face off again against AU Michael, even when he's already lost so badly to him, because we have to remember Cas's words: Lucifer’s deeply, deeply afraid of this Michael, too.

It's...hm. It's something. Lucifer has purpose when he's fighting, and however selfish his motivations were, Jack gave him something to fight for. He stepped in front of Gabe to fight Michael, at first.

That's. Hm.... it's something.

///

Cas and Gabe... the only people who seem to be able to put up with Lucifer somewhat effectively, lol.

///

Anyhoo, speaking of redemption...

This conversation reminds me just a little bit of the deleted conversation between Chuck and Metatron in 11x20. Metatron shows his humanity to Chuck, who chops it up and conceptualizes those emotions as "story." It's a bit of flagrant, writerly dehumanization, and Metatron's reaction to Chuck's lack of humanity is so interesting to me:

METATRON: I did. (gets up) But Cas-hat... he spared me. He showed mercy. (sits down opposite CHUCK) And do you know what was the first thing I heard when I woke up in my cold hospital bed? It was hands-down the sweetest, loveliest song I ever heard in my whole, long, sad bottom-feeder existence... My heartbeat. I was still alive. The joy of knowing that you're still alive, and the simultaneous panic of knowing that someday that heart is going to stop beating, that's humanity. It's frail and it's flawed, but damn it, it's worth fighting for. CHUCK: That's a really sweet story, Metatron. Good details, nice balance, and a healthy dose of truth. But it's a little late for a redemption arc, don't you think? METATRON: For me, or for you?

That's...hm. It's definitely something.

Maybe it's easier to get redemption when you haven't irrevocably hurt the people we love... When their victims are... more distant.

[windsweptinred]

Camellia, " My destiny is in your hands."

(The Garden of Forking Ways, two brothers sit together amongst the verdant trees and ruined archways)

"My answer remains the same as it always was and ever shall be Dream. I will not read ahead. Not even for you my younger brother. And especially not for such frivolous reasons."

Dream glared in indignation , bitting back the angry retort on the tip of his tounge. One he'd readily unleash on any, save his eldest sibling. Releasing a frustrated breath, he gathered his thoughts, attempting to quickly reform his argument. Mainly addressing how he and Destiny's opinion on what was deemed frivolous, varied quite dramatically. He stopped short when he noticed his brother close his eyes, eyelids tightened, brows furrowed and tense. An action, for any other then Destiny he surmised...Would have them rubbing at their eyes in pursuit of some relief.

"You are tired Destiny?"

Destiny sighed deeply before straitening, heaving his book closed. "The universe weighs heavy in my hands little brother. As it's consciousness must also bear down upon you. It cannot be helped. It is our duty."

Dream's gaze lingered on the gleaming cuff that bound his brothers wrist. Before reaching out instinctively for the great book resting in his brother lap, fingers stopping a hair's breadth from it.

"If it was only possible, I would carry your burdern for you my brother. Even if all I could offer was a moments reprieve."

Destiny rose, looking down upon his little brother. A slight frown marring his lips. The clang of his ominous chain loud in the silence.

"You have a kind heart brother mine. And I pray fate shall not punish you for it. Would that I was permitted a free hand, I would carry pouch, jewel and helm so you could play freely about my gardens...As an eldest ought. But it is not so."

At that, Dream stood at his brothers side, laying a hand gently upon his forearm. "I would not ask it of you even if it was so. I try always to follow your footsteps big brother, and fulfill the responsibilities of my office without qualm."

For a brief moment, Dream thought he saw a look of deep resignation pass over Destiny's face. Before he schooled his features and nodded in acknowledgement of his brothers words.

" Walk with me a while, sweet phantasia. "

Dream startled softly, "It has been an age since you have called me that brother."

"Indeed. Perhaps then, we should indulge in another long since pasttime. Shall you and I play a game of pretend Dream?"

Dream stared blatantly at Destiny, mouth agape, mystified. An act that he swore seemed to greatly amuse the other. Not that his brother so much as quriked his lip. With his free hand, Destiny reached out, plucking a camellia in full bloom from a nearby bush. Pushing it into Dream's bemused grasp, who gripped it's stem reverently. With that, his older brother gently carded his fingers through his dark mane, pulling forth a poppy, Dream was certain, had not been there moments earlier. With special care, Destiny placed it in his already occupied grip, resting between hand and book.

"I accept your offer little brother. If you will, bear the weight of destiny for me. And for your compassion, I in turn, shall hold their dreams for you."

With that, Destiny turned and started down a tunnelled path. Lined on either side with ancient collums and a natural formed canopy of ivy. Dream raced to rejoin his side, a bright smile playing about his lips.

"So, how fares the Dreaming my brother?"

Destiny seemed to consider the question for a moment, before somberly responding,

"Silent and serene. I ordered all its residents to go about their business, quietly and content."

Dream raised an eyebrow in playful shock, "And they obeyed without question?"

"Just so."

"How very unusual!"

Destiny turned his head to regard his brother, a slight something shinning from his sightless eyes. "Quite. And how is my garden in your care? "

Dream smirked mischievously. Holding out the camellia, each petal now sparkling in a luminous rainbow of colours.

"Oh my brother, I'm afraid I have filled every last last nook and cranny with the impossible."

"Ofcourse."

[shadowqueenjude]

Hiiii!! First your posts give me life!!! I’m always waiting for the next one because I know you’re going to spit gems and speak facts 💁‍♀️.

I have a question/thought about the mates situation. People keep saying SJM will be exploring the rejected mating bond concept, specifically in Elain’s book….When did she say that? WHERE? From what I’ve seen and read, she did say it was an interesting concept (fate, mating bond vs agency and all that good stuff) but she also said she didn’t know if she would be exploring it in the future, let alone in Elain’s book or the ACOTAR series. So HOW in the world do people take that as a confirmation that she will absolutely do it in Elain’s book? Even the whole “what if the cauldron is wrong” argument. Well maybe she’ll use Elain’s book to demonstrate that in fact the cauldron is never wrong because it actually doesn’t decide anything. This frustrates me to no end.

Anyway, keep slaying Queen 💅!

My dear Anon, we shall have an Autumn wedding.

This is what SJM said:

“That’s something I find to be very interesting,” she replies. “What if the forces that be put you with the wrong person? Or what if you just decide, eh, I’m not interested. … There’s a lot to explore within the concept of mates and your agency about it. 

“I’m not going to say if I am exploring it in future books or not,” she continues, “but it definitely offers a wealth of things to explore with this concept of freewill and what is true love. Is it something that’s destined? Or is it something that you make? Is it both?”

She did NOT confirm that she would be exploring it at ANY point!!!! I do NOT know why people are acting like it is a guarantee.

What if the Cauldron was wrong? COULD be foreshadowing yes, but the answer is rarely that obvious LMAO. Amren told Nesta that there were other ways to fight beside a sword, but Nesta became a warrior. Most likely it's talking about Elain. So is it really so hard to believe that this is NOT talking about Elain at all, but someone else entirely?

The three most likely options for a rejected mating trope are as follows:

LoA-Helion: we get to explore the pain and angst of knowing a mate has married and had children with another, and dealing with the rejected trope for centuries, but will eventually get together in the end. SJM is not about to give Lucien's parents a tragic ending lmfao. And in her world, rejected mates=tragedy.

Mor-Eris: if we go in the direction that mating bonds can only occur between males and females and Mor and Eris are both gay, so they can never have feelings for each other. In which case we explore the difficulties associated with a bond that neither person wants yet the instincts are still there.

Tamlin-Amarantha: did anyone wonder WHY tf Amarantha was so obsessed with Tamlin? Like, I know he's hot and all, but goddamnit girl what the fuck? Now, if they were mates and Tamlin rejected her, it would make sense. It would also add more nuance to Tamlin AND Amarantha's characters, and we'd get to explore Tamlin's trauma post-UTM after being forced to reject and kill his mate and how that drove him a little mad.

But, the rejected bond is NOT a guarantee, so there may NOT be any rejected bonds. These are all just theories at this point. One thing I am CERTAIN of is that the rejected bond will CERTAINLY NOT be Elain and Lucien. Especially not when SJM dangled Gwyn in front of us. Now THAT one is fucking obvious lol.

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

Bad Horsie - Yandere! Johnny Joestar x Reader x Yandere! Gyro Zeppeli

Reader’s horse has a stand and of course is protective of their owner, both Gyro and Johnny fume over this as this animal blocks them at every move. This was supposed to be a joke post for April fools awhile go, less comedic than I was intending so it’s not gonna be right on April fools. Horse’s name : Bastille

Stand : Bad Horsie (Namesake ; Steve Vai - Bad Horsie)

You and Bastille probably had one of the strongest bonds one could possibly have with each other. Even Mountain Tim himself made an observation of this, which made you proud. Your father had given him to you a few years prior to entering the Steel Ball Run. A horse that was supposedly stubborn with other riders, just happened to click with you. So, you made sure to treat him right, give him the love he deserved and the both of you could communicate with grace.

Something that came heavily in handy in this arduous journey across the United States. Though it wasn’t just the two of you alone not like you thought it would have been. You wished it was that way, but life had thrown you a terrifying hardball consisting of two racers. The British born Johnny Joestar and Italian Gyro Zeppeli, who you only had considered allies to get you through this disaster of a race.

Bastille was your rock keeping you sane around those two, their romantic interest suddenly blossoming in a hell-scape of stand users. Your lovely horse knew this, the nervousness in your heart as you handled the reigns. He’d always eyeball the two of them when they were camping down for the night or when you hit a checkpoint. So he made it known to you to give as much pets as you wanted.

However as the trek went on, the atmosphere became suffocating. Bastille could feel it even as the two of you kept in sync, trying your best to either ride behind or in front of those two men. As much as there was to worry about venomous snakes or other apex predators, they seemed easier to deal with in this scenario. Perhaps this horse couldn’t get the complete situation down, but if you were in danger it would help instinctively or otherwise.

You knew your lovely companion had a stand but never divulged this to the men you were traveling with. You felt rather guilty relying on your own horse for protection, but if he wanted to you knew there wasn’t stopping him. Just retroactively planning things carefully so you and him could cross that finish line.

While you tried to keep your distance from these two, as much as they would allow they would take advantage of this to talk about your horse. This was literally the only reason for the past few weeks that you managed to get any kind of break. They knew for certain your furry friend knew this even if you didn’t consciously realize.

“The way their horse acts it’s interesting isn’t it?” Gyro said breaking a small silence the two of them.

Johnny’s blue eyes glanced over briefly “It’s not too hard to differentiate, horses do have emotions but I can tell there’s something more to him”

Gyro nodded along “How long have you been suspecting him being something more?”

The blond admitted he couldn’t shake a certain feeling from the very start of the race. Gyro’s eyes in turn widened a bit before resettling.

“Tch…so I’ve been getting dirt flung in my face on purpose by that cheeky prick for a little while now” The male smirked with a small gleam of his teeth.

Joestar himself sighed, he was frustrated by Bastille himself. He never really counted on being on the defensive against a horse of all things. Considering they were chasing corpse parts, this should hardly be any surprise to either of them. Johnny would never hesitate in taking a humans life to keep you to himself, Your horse complicated things for the race at least.

“Think it has a stand?” Gyro tossed another question out “If he wants to protect them that bad, I can’t rule that out as an impossibility”

“Wouldn’t be surprised, y/n loves that horse to death and of course they wouldn’t bother telling us about it”

“Damn, that’s true…” He clicked his tongue in annoyance, not for the potential fact your horse could’ve helped during certain face offs. Or the fact it was only focused on you and vice versa stung his heart. You’re cute trying to hide everything from him and Johnny though. As for Bastille, he wasn’t about to let a damn horse of all things keep him away from his darling.

The two of them decided to stitch together a timeline of sorts of your mighty steed’s actions. Johnny recalling a few times during the night he’d see your horse move it’s pitch closer when it could tell when he was staring at you during the night. Not to mention the close proximity of blocking his view of you by the morning. Or it pulling back when if felt your discomfort at him getting close to you while running.

Biggest thing Johnny had happen to him was almost having his head crushed in. He’d admit he was being nosy in attempting to get a hold of a diary you had, just to see if you were trying to write something to a potential significant other. Which he’d promptly burn without care if you had one if he had actually gotten a hold of it.

Gyro on the other hand had as he said dirt flung in his face various times. The intense flirtatious comments he’d make occasionally would sometimes occur. Almost getting knocked off balance if you tensed up enough. Or his belongings on Valkyrie getting strewn about, to distract the Italian from being in your presence. Or somehow slipping into a waterhole even though he knew for certain he had good balance and grip.

Johnny wouldn’t lie, he kinda chuckled at that last one at the time.

In literally any normal scenario anyone would take a hint. But Johnny and Gyro didn’t quite see it as protecting you. They were pouncing for more attention from you than they already greedily lapped up.

That evening when you all decided to pitch up camp for the night however would unknowingly unravel everything.

That evening you were the one to start the fire, the wood and kindling already gathered. You felt nervous that you weren’t able to catch another respite from these two. Keeping you right in their line of sight. Sighing you informed Gyro the fire was ready and he decided to start dinner with steadfastness. However he insisted you help him this time around.

“You know, that horse of yours sure does love you” Gyro abruptly brought up while tending to cutting up something with his knife.

“uh yeah I’d think so?” You do your best to shrug off the comment

“Something seems interesting about yours behavior wise” He responded cryptically.

“What’s your point?”

A smirk rises on his face, his green eyes cutting into your own.

“I’m just saying your horse seems to act on things with purpose”

You could feel your heartbeat race a bit faster than usual, this wasn’t the first time but this was a little different. A snort came from the distance, Bastille looking to your eyes clearly disgruntled. Shortly after you saw Gyro pointing towards him.

“There’s only so many times something could be an accident, and you know it don’t you?”

You swallowed nervously when Gyro projected his voice a bit louder. You knew who he was referring to, and when his eyes settled down back to yours you went cold.

“It’s not very nice keeping things from your lovers you know” Your eyes darted over to Johnny whose own stare was ice cold.

“Now, I’m a little more forgiving than Johnny is…Bastille would probably be dead by now if we weren’t searching for the corpse parts or were in a race” Something you absolutely took to be true when you saw the blond facing down an enemy.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw something pierce the ground, causing Bastille to move erratically in dodging. Quickly rising to your feet to attempt to assist him. But the sensation of a steel ball on your leg made you twist in a way you never felt before. Gyro quickly sought to catch you and hold you back into his vice grip.

“Bastille stop! Stop!” You shouted as he stomped his hooves aggressively, knowing he would try to attack Johnny. Gyro too if he hadn’t been so preoccupied. It pained you to say such a thing when you knew for certain they started this on purpose.

“You could give it up all right now and try to fight Johnny and I off, abandon the race completely” The Italian man stated with smugness.

“But I’ll make sure you’re unable to run in anyway I can” He hummed “I can hurt you just enough that I need help you like I do Johnny~, but not enough to disqualify you from the race”

You bit your lip as he squeezed his arms closer around your body.

“So what’ll be? Can’t wait to hear your answer”

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hu tao , Amber and Kujo Sara with an innocent looking s/o when in battle they ace crazy and ruthless like Akechi in persona 5 royal when showing his true personality

Since I can't exactly make a post with 9 characters, I'm just picking the two I can think of something to write

Them with an innocent looking reader that turns out to be a merciless fighter

characters: Kujou Sara / Yelan x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: mentions of blood, although nothing graphic, reader commits some... rather over the top acts of "not exactly being goofy" (I mean, cmon, you can't expect them being the sanest of the bunch when they're compared to goro akechi)

a/n: Idk if you planned on sending me this request the moment I was done with p5r, but I have to applause you for the timeing.

Also, I'm so sorry for those people finding out about akechi not exactly being like he seems through this request, Idk how to hide the spoiler in the ask.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Kujou Sara

Sara knew how trouble looked, she had to deal with it on an almost daily basis with that oni running after her, demanding a rematch even though the winner was already clear, but whenever she looked at you, she saw a person that wouldn’t be able to harm a fly. And while she would never dare to say it out loud, looking at you always put her mind at ease, the same way others might have relaxed when seeing a cute dog doing nothing but existing.

So when she heard about how the road you frequently took was being blocked by a couple of thugs, her first instinct was to assemble a group as quickly as possible and try to clear it out before something were to happen to you, only to arrive just in time to watch you beating them into submission and seemingly enjoying every last second of it.

“...y/n?”, Sara couldn’t help but utter your name, completely dumbfounded by what she had just witnessed, only for you to dust off your clothes and turn to her with the same innocent smile you always wore.

“Oh, hey Sara! What are you doing here?”, you asked after noticing the other soldiers who looked just as surprised as their general, all of them having known you for a long enough time to have felt certain of your nature.

“Oh my- Sorry that you have to see me in this state, my clothes are completely dirty… I don’t know if I’ll be able to get the stains out of this- they just had to offer a fight on the one day I decided to dress in my favorite clothes…”, you apologized after following her stare back to your bloodied clothes, letting out a frustrated sigh as you inspected your shirt.

“That’s not- How- D-doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re unharmed”, the general’s voice betrayed her shock, only for her to quickly regain her composure.

Seeing you escape unharmed was a huge relief, even if she would be lying if she said what she saw wasn’t at least somewhat worrying… 

…what worried her more however, was that her heart skipped a beat or two while watching you show such strength.

Yelan

Yelan, being Yelan, didn’t need long to find out about your… change in behaviour when embroiled in a fight. After all, she couldn’t call herself an expert at reading people if she couldn’t even figure out someone this close to her.

Luckily for you, she quickly figured out that you going rogue only ever happened when you were attacked and never when you started a fight, causing her to confidently put you into the “no harm for innocent” box.

It also had the added upside of basically having a guard dog with her on every mission who didn’t hesitate for even a second to throw themself at any criminal stupid enough to try and harm her, and sure, while she would have been easily able to handle them herself, Yelan was the last person that would complain about not having to do something tiring.

“That’s enough”, Yelan finally put an end to your ‘advanced method of self-defense’, causing you to immediately get up, leaving the treasure hoarder to solemnly reflect on his decision to threaten you. That was if he was still conscious. “I need him to answer my questions later”, she explained further after seeing you send her a questioning look, her, as usual, mysterious voice refusing to betray any emotions.

As she bent down to inspect the person lying on the floor, you finally managed to calm yourself down, feeling the usual mix of shock and disappointment as you looked down at your knuckles, sighing as you looked for a bit of water to wash them, before making your way back, scooping the criminal up and taking his weapon, which by now laid several feet away from him, in case it could be used as evidence or something of those sorts.

“I know he began it by threatening us, but I can easily handle a dozen of them on my own, so at least try to refrain yourself from going overboard next time. The last thing we need is for word about a mysterious figure beating up people in the middle of night”, she told you off, only for you to nod as you continued to look down, causing Yelan to put on a soft smile.

“Good, now let’s get this done and over with. I have a pair of new dice and you look like just the right person to test them with.”

[yuseirra]

woke up really early in the morning and I'm drawing...I get really sentimental at dawn, allow me to just drabble away...

In my opinion, the character Kamiki is one of two extremes:

Either he is extraordinarily evil, or he is extraordinarily kind...

Looking at the story, Ai was protecting that person by risking everything—her own happiness (she wanted to be with this person forever), even putting her career in danger. She took everything upon herself, saying she couldn't give up because those children were hers with that person, and she decided to raise them.

In that case, it’s the latter. No, it really has to be the latter because I’m not bad at psychological analysis, you know? At least up to the point when they broke up, that really was his personality. I thought, "Huh? What is this?" and after that, I really watched closely, and I even managed to predict what he's actually done. I DID THAT.

I’ve never been a mother, but from a mother’s perspective, there’s this natural instinct to protect and care for one’s children, right? Especially if there’s affection for them. I'm not all about maternal love is absolute, or something like that, what I'm coming from is that, if you have children, unless you're a really terrible parent, you want good things for them and YOU are the one that shields them from harm, and watch over them and all... You get these sorts of feeling when you look at little kids who aren't your own as well, if they ARE your own, I feel like that protective, loving affection would only increase.

But Ai asked her CHILDREN a favor to help their dad. This means... her feelings for her boyfriend were as powerful compared to her feelings as a mother, you know? The fact that she, as a mother, is counting on her children to aid him... it means it was a very strong desire, something she deeply wished for. It even...I don't think it's the perfect word but overwrites? makes her set aside her feelings as a mother if it means she can help the guy. She loves him so much. THAT MUCH. He's really someone she loves and wants to tend to. She couldn't give up on him... It also means that she trusts him that much as well because why make her own kids get close to someone who can be dangerous?

Given this, I think it’s not just highly likely, but practically certain that Ai’s boyfriend was an exceptionally good person.

For someone to evoke such deep feelings in Ai, they can’t be ordinary. Ai had a strong distrust of people, you know. She was very wary.

Kamiki... there’s something about him... When he talks, it feels like he’s accommodating others to an excessive degree, suppressing his own emotions and enduring while being considerate of others. That’s what I sensed.

Just like Ai had her own pent-up frustrations but still smiled, this character seems to be doing the same thing. He has no inner monologue when he appears in the present, so it’s hard to fully grasp his thoughts, but he must be in pain. If you look at the flashbacks, it’s clear he used to be, but like Ai, he doesn’t show it on the surface, which leads to misunderstandings.

After hearing his voice, I’m even more convinced;

This person seems like an exceptionally good person. Could he really be capable of doing something bad? I get the feeling he’s exactly the kind of person Ai would choose... Ai truly risked everything for him. She gave all her heart to this one person and I feel THAT'S why she was happy about having their children as well.

I believe this character would absolutely do the same for Ai and their children. I’m pretty sure I’m right. I keep looking at him, and the way he acts is very sweet. He doesn't have to be that way, but that behavior is consistent... this really gets to me, it's so contradictory to the accusations he's been faced so I end up talking about a lot because I keep seeing things. Is this guy REALLY evil? I guess it'll be sorted out soon but I'd even go as far as to say that he could have really done.. nothing so wrong... anyhow Ai really loves him. That's really endearing... and if he's what I think he is, he really is someone who can deserve that.. everything clicks to me if he is!!!! I won't have a clue on what's up with all this if he isn't!!

It's a bit late to say this, but my favorite type is "someone whose heart is so generous that they sometimes suffer losses, but they accept it with a broad understanding."

It’s not about a specific character; that’s just the kind of person I consider my ideal type...

I sometimes wonder, "Am I reading the character this way because I want them to be like that?" But honestly, I didn’t really have any thoughts like that until I read chapters 152-154.

I can recognize characters like this when I see them. I’m serious... because I always have them as my favs. (I'm still being really cautious regarding this guy but I see signs of him being this way)

I understand why Ai liked this character so much if that's the case then. It’s because such a person is incredibly rare and a gift to the world...You want to protect these types of people, preserve them, and help them out. I feel like that's what she wanted to do for him.

At this point, I want to think "Whatever happens, happens." I really need to stop thinking so much about this subject, it's a comic and it's all about having fun, but..

That character, in my opinion, is one of two things:

Either they’re a psychopath who's been acting all along, or they’re a total pushover, someone with an unusually high threshold for anger, drowning in self-doubt, who keeps enduring without being able to express their rage.

Both are extreme to the point of being inhuman, but I think it’s the latter. I really believe it’s the latter...

and it's stressful seeing that kind of person being misunderstood if he is you know!! I think this is it though!! Because Ai wants to protect him with all her might and I get that if he's really like this!!

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Steps Into Shadow"

Everything is all shaken up for Season Three, let's go.

So I know I said I really like it when shows change up the Status Quo but...

Some of the changes took a bit of getting used to in Season Three. I'll admit it.

(It's the hair, Ezra's hair took getting used to, I believe my exact reaction was, "Nooooooo not the cute shaggy shonen protagonist hair!" I'm okay with it now and it's hella easier to draw but it was a bit of a mourning period.)

So! Season Three begins six months after the end of Season Two. Everyone has had a cosmetic upgrade. They're all older. Ezra is seventeen. *cries*

Ezra had his seventeenth birthday offscreen while he and Kanan were not on speaking terms.

*sobbing forever*

Anyway we open In Media Res with the Spectres (minus Kanan) pulling off a jailbreak.

Oh it is absolutely not a coincidence that our first sight of Ezra this season has him bathed in shadow.

Sabine and Ezra casually bantering mid-mission and Ezra being seamlessly badass. <3

That cute little fond smile of Ezra's when he sees Hondo. T_T

Ohhhh I remember when people were freaking out over just how casually Ezra shoots this Stormtrooper with a blaster very obviously not set to stun. It's such a contrast from "Stealth Strike" in which he promises not to hurt any of them. He's taken some parts of Maul's words to heart, sadly, and now he's acting like a proper soldier in a war.

Ouch.

Don't mind me appreciating Ezra and Sabine's brief battle tag-teaming moment here.

As if the Luke parallels were not strong enough, Ezra's new lightsaber--after a harrowing fight against Darth Vader in which he lost his other one--is green. And sue me, I love his green lightsaber, it's my favorite.

Also a big fan of how Ezra demolishes this whole hallway of Stormtroopers by himself. He doesn't even blink.

"Is that really Ezra?" "Most of the time." The meaning behind this exchange is ambiguous and there are plural interpretations. I think Sabine is referring to how utterly serious he is, no stopping, no delays, all-business. We only really saw him banter and smile with the others when on their way in, once the reinforcements arrived it was all go time.

It really isn't Ezra's fault that Terba got killed. But Ezra's Hero Complex, Guilt Complex, and sense of hyper-responsibility are all colliding and making him take the blame on himself for not having complete 100% control of the situation, also why he snaps at Hera later for griping about just that.

Never not gonna love Ezra as leader with Sabine as his competent lieutenant. <3

The Force Theme goes creepily off-tune here. This is NOT a Jedi Mind Trick. This is Force Dominate and yes, it is a Dark Side power.

This scene is deliberately uncomfortable. It's almost like possession, like Ezra using the AT-DP pilot like a meat puppet.

Sabine looking Very Concerned as she watches what Ezra does here. :)

There's just a moment where they hold on the shots of the AT-DP's legs and Ezra's feet, juuuuuuust to give you enough time to comprehend the horror.

"When did Kanan teach you that?" There's just a smidge of discomfort in Sabine's voice here, she knows full well that's not something normal.

Ezra's "I did what I had to do." here is a bit needlessly defensive, Hera didn't offer any commentary in judgement at all, he's just instinctively already verbally flinching about it because he knows it was wrong.

We can already see the effects of Malachor on Ezra, he's angrier than usual and bristles at Hera's criticism.

"Ah the fiery spirit of youth, eh?" "It's not all bad." Hera looks so SAD here. :( There's so much unspoken sorrow. You can hear a certain frustration and helplessness.

Cut to Ezra having the expected angst session in his room. The holocron, sensing his anger, lights up, making his cadet helmet (the one Sabine painted for him, that's supposed to represent a sense of safety) look creepily demonic.

"You can see things clearly your friends cannot." Ohhhhh you absolute bitch, that specific turn of phrase is meant to dig at Ezra's guilt over Kanan's blindness isn't it? Ezra even repeats it. "They can't see..." This scene here, his speech, is the lynchpin of his entire experiment with the Dark Side; his guilt over Malachor is eating him up and like Anakin before him he's resolved to never let it happen again. So he must become stronger, more powerful. His fear of further loss--his attachment--is leading him down the same dangerous path.

It hurts so good, it's such good angst.

THERE SHE IS, MY FAVORITE FABULOUS BITCH.

She's awful. I love her. <3

The entire crew being so Done with Hondo lol.

Heeeeeeey remember how I talked about how a large part of Rebels the show is how the Ghost crew in particular helps put the Alliance together piece by piece, ship by ship?

Yeah these are the Y-wings that take part in the Battle of Yavin.

Sato promoting Ezra, awwwww. The sheer respect these two have now. Sabine and Zeb are very happy for him and Hera says Kanan would be too and ow ow ow the lined hurt in Ezra's face when he points out that Kanan is never around anymore.

The man himself has grown a Sadness!Beard and is in such inner turmoil that it's woken the Bendu, whose voice we hear calling to him.

I really feel for Hera, trying to mediate between her two Jedi, who are both hurting and both avoiding each other, the frustration and anguish she must feel.

Perhaps nudged by her words Kanan does try to pay Ezra a visit to talk... aaaaaaaand immediately discovers the open holocron.

Ohhh this conversation hurts. Ezra's so angry and hurt by Kanan seemingly abandoning him and all Kanan can think about is protecting him from the holocron's influence and he must feel like such a failure as a teacher, especially when Ezra yells about how he doesn't need Kanan.

:((((

Rebels says vehicle registrations and tolls are tyranny lol.

Right so, mistake number one: Running instead of playing cool. The Alliance does have a small amount of funds and they could easily forge a ship registration. Give the Mining Guild fake credentials, pay the fee, and they could have bought enough time to deflect suspicion for an hour maybe.

Yeah the krykna aren't any less creepy.

Hi Bendu!

The Bendu is an interesting addition to the lore. He seems in the vein of the Mortis Gods, an ancient entity in tune with the Force, though the normal rules of such don't apply to him. He's a neutral party, possibly representative of the spirit of nature, which is neither Light nor Dark it just is. His True Neutral alignment would later be challenged by Kanan but for now he seems a helpful ally, offering to assist Kanan learn how to "see" through the Force. (I do like to joke that he's trying to get all the Force noise to calm down so he can go back to sleep.)

Mixed feelings on how Kanan's blindness is handled. Would have liked to see more of a recovery/coping arc, but a lot of the little subtle hints and nods they do in later episodes are really effective at showing how he's adapted. And then there are the odd moments where Rebels writers forget he's blind entirely. So there's some room for improvement.

Also he should have been allowed to make some blind jokes. DON'T @ ME THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN HILARIOUS.

Ezra: "No witnesses! 😠" Sabine: "Dude WTF?" Love how even though his Dark Side tendencies concern and worry her she's not afraid to push back at him.

Kanan assumes the "source of unbalance" he's carrying is the Sith holocron and confesses his fears that it's corrupting Ezra. The Bendu claims, "An object cannot make you good or evil.", explaining how it's one's mindset that determines that.

Which I mean, point, buuuuuuuut this is also a fictional universe in which the traces of Sith ghosts stuck in soul jars can literally possess you sooooo...

Anyway the scenes of Bendu teaching Kanan how to "see" through the Force are amazing. 10/10 no complaints. Will comment on things as I go just to point them out.

For starters, how about the panic and fear in Kanan when Bendu destroys the sensor beacon? And his angry hopeless, "I can't see anything! Not anymore."?

MEANWHILE WITH THE IMPERIAL DOOM SQUAD:

*ANGELIC CHORUS*

Hello my favorite blue bastard.

The first hint of Kallus's changed allegiance is here with this vaguely accusatory comment about civilian deaths outnumbering insurgent deaths at Batonn, which Thrawn was promoted for. Pryce calls them "acceptable margins". Timothy Zahn would later reveal in the first new canon Thrawn book that it was her who detonated the bombs that killed everyone. For the moment I will refrain from commenting on his concerning habit of retconing things to absolve Thrawn of anything bad ever and just respond with the appropriate amount of disgust at Pryce.

Always loved the cool effect where everything except Thrawn's red eyes fade out.

Mistake number two: Not calling Hera to tell her, "Hey the Empire is scrapping the bombers literally as we speak." and asking for advice. Hera probably would have consulted Sato and the combined brainpower could have come up with a better plan than "Charge in recklessly and scoop them up against orders without further observation or research."

Even Rex, who backs Ezra up later, thinks they should tell Hera about it first.

"That's an order!" Ouch, Ezra, that is the most insensitive thing you could have said to a former clone trooper.

Ezra's need for control over every possible variant situation (to prevent himself from suffering further loss) is actively making things worse for the mission, not better. He is showing a distinct lack of trust in the command structure, and an almost possessive need to keep his team safe and under his direction.

No one comments on his bossing them around though, not even Sabine, and into the maelstrom they go.

Hi Brom Titus!

Rex still showing a very slight deathseeker tendency.

Sabine's been taking notes from Hera on flying a ship with no power, clearly, lol.

This cue right here is going to come back later in the climax of the episode. The frantic rapid percussion definitely gives off the feel of "falling".

Love Melch feigning a malfunction he fits right in with Han "slight weapons malfunction" Solo lol.

Sabine sounds tired and exasperated when she points out the fighters won't have any fuel. I can only imagine the kind of impulsive, reckless, rash leadership decisions she's had to put up with from Dark Side Depression!Ezra for the past few months.

Rex is supportive tho. <3

Bendu going through Kanan's other senses methodically to help him relearn how to navigate. <3

Kanan foresensing the danger Ezra's going to be in from across the galaxy and freaking out about it. <3

I'll be honest I don't quite understand this philosophical mumbo-jumbo but whatever it works, Kanan's got his mojo back and is going to go get his padawan.

Ohhhhhh oh I know this cue right here has been used before, dammit where was it used before?

Hang on... I think it's Kanan's theme?

*goes back to check "Stealth Strike"* No, not there. Ugh, this is gonna bug me.

*checks YouTube* It IS Kanan's theme! Holy crap.

Sabine does not have a good time of it against this Dismantler droid. Zeb's prehensile feet save the day, though. Always love when they get to use those.

Worried Ezra be worried. <3

Ezra's strained "Oh shit it's mom." tone here lol.

Recall what I said back in "Fire Across The Galaxy" about how the Rebellion will always pull your fat out of the fire even if you've been stupid? Yeah.

Hera's face when she sees Kanan sitting in the co-pilot chair. <333333

Rex, ah... may not be all mentally here I think the Dismantler droid is bringing up some unpleasant memories.

The subtle symbolism continues!

This exchange is hilarious. "Yeah, get ready for another demotion." Lol Ezra.

Ezra considers the dilemma for half a second and then chooses violence. Mistake three.

Chopper pitches a fit about getting in a Y-wing. Given that he was shot down in one, that's understandable.

This fond smile and headshake at Hondo. <3

Mistake four, not checking to see if the Y-wings had hyperdrives before taking off.

Always love it when one of the kids uses Zeb's "Karabast!" He's a bad influence on them lol.

All of Ezra's previous bad decisions culminate here, he's stranded on a collapsing station, unable to contact help, and the last thing he heard from Sabine was that the Empire was there. It's not any wonder he's practically breaking down in tears.

"This is wrong, it's all gone wrong!" Well, that's what happens when you choose all the Dark Side options, Ezra. Should have kept a save point.

:((((((

Taylor's acting here is amazing, Ezra sounds SO lost and scared and desperate and he just wants Kanan to be there.

A bold and serious "Shenanigans" cue as Phoenix Group blazes in to the rescue. <3

And there's that cue that I told y'all would be coming back. :)

This sequence is perfection. Ezra clinging to the station as it falls, Hera flying with such microprecision she misses all the debris flaking off of it, the rushing wind, the music...

Ezra's shock when he hears Kanan's voice.

KANAN BATHED IN WHITE LIGHT REACHING OUT TO EZRA AS HE AND THE STATION PLUMMET INTO THE ABYSS.

THE RETURN OF THE ARC WORDS, "I'VE GOT YOU."

THE SOUND DROPPING OUT AS THE FORCE THEME PLAYS SOFTLY AND KANAN TELLS EZRA TO LET GO.

EZRA TRUSTING KANAN, LETTING GO, AND LETTING THE WIND CARRY HIM WITHIN REACH.

Cinematic poetry. <333333333

Hera smiled at first when Kanan told her he'd gotten Ezra buuuuut she's pissed now about the Phantom lol.

Pryce's shade at Konstantine, ha ha.

Thrawn sounded so disappointed too, almost sulky. "That's not the Rebel fleet!" 😠

Major "mom grounding her rebellious teenager" vibes. Love that Zeb and Sabine stick up for him.

Dodonna namedrop!

I know some people wanted a bit more out of Ezra's flirtations with the Dark Side but personally I think it's fitting that as soon as Kanan and Ezra bury the hatchet he never touches it again. The major impetus behind his running to the holocron was Kanan's distance from him, reinforcing all the self-negative beliefs Ezra had about the whole situation--that it was his fault Kanan was blind, that Kanan blamed him, that he wasn't a worthy student, that he couldn't rely on anyone but himself to get strong enough to protect the people he cared about, that he needed the holocron and the Dark Side to get that strength.

And you'll notice he doesn't quite swear off the thing entirely, he asks after it both here and in the beginning of the next episode, a bit like an addict antsy for their next fix.

(No, fandom, Kanan's "I'll always come back." here was not secret foreshadowing that the writers failed to follow up on in Season Four, it was a straightforward sentiment in the moment.)

This is a heartwarming sight. <3

This... is my favorite of the season premieres. For obvious reasons.

Once again the main strength is the focus on Kanan and Ezra's fractured relationship as it pieces back together. The action is tightly written and every single element serves its purpose. It's funny, dramatic, heartbreaking...

I don't really have any other words, this episode is just amazing.

[sincerelystesichorus]

astarion, anne carson, & autobiography of red - small character study blurb

In which I've written 40k words of Astarion character analysis fanfiction and I'm definitely still normal.

Astarion used to be blue, but ever since that night two centuries ago, he was reborn red. And he had spent at least the past century thinking that red was irreplaceable. It was – red, it was in his blood and the little blood Cazador would let him wring from rats, corroded and stained. His very life force. He was Cazador’s, his spawn, his jewel, his ruby. There was no cure for red. Not until you became the successful means to an end. He had been sure of it. Being red wasn’t good. It made everyone who wasn’t red, and that felt like most everyone, stare at you like you put off a certain aura… like they knew you were a monster that could only act off of instinct and emotion. And it was so frustrating, because parts of Astarion were blue still, knew what was better, but they were nothing in comparison to the suffocation of red. The emotions, and especially anger, fear, came on so strong. It was hard not to act on them, to test out what the boundaries of pure action were. Astarion knew the color and impulse all too well.

I expand way more on the idea of people as colors within my writing than Autobiography of Red does, where Geryon is the only one who is red. This further pushes Geryon's feelings of being separated from humanity in his narrative, but there's a lot of inherent evil and fucked up things within Faerun so I felt expanding on colors and specifically shades/hues was a better way to communicate this for Astarion.

Geryon's red is tied very instinctually to emotion though, and so representing red as a chaotic force of emotion in my fic didn't feel like too far a step. I took a lot of inspiration from Magic: the Gathering's color pie lol. While you never get an exact description of what's wrong with Geryon, you get a lot of the symptoms, reminiscent of some sort of innate childhood mental illness, on top of the obvious trauma present in his story.

Back to Astarion, though. I've just never not been able to code him with CPTSD, I think that's obvious, but I also know that poor bastard has a personality disorder skffkjdf. The game always hammers in he has no sense of self outside of his looks, which he can't even be sure of because he can't see himself. Astarion has to work his confidence and self-image off of memories of his body and face from two centuries ago, and from his master's word. Cazador has assigned him to this seduction role (or, I feel its at least implied that Astarion was ultimately forced into it because he was seen as the Szarr runt, he was pretty and easy to push around, and I'm also pretty sure Petras has a line about getting to eat dogs now and then?) and Astarion fulfills it because it's all he can do. All he feels good for. His actions aren't his own for two hundred years, and in a morbid way of coping with constant sexual trauma, he functions off of "Well, at least I'm pretty," but even that assumption comes from Cazador's rule.

Astarion had decided he was mostly pure red, splashes of black and blue coming in, bright and visible. The remnants of his past and an even deeper level of Cazador’s corruption, bruising his psyche.

Carson is again sparing with other color imagery as to fully emphasize Geryon feeling like this big red monster, but I love this little excerpt on fearful anger.

Black/shadow is already a strong force and theme within the game so it was easy to work with, acknowledging it as a sort of staining evil. Astrion has his later lines about how he never stopped viewing himself as Cazador's slave, and I think showing that corruption is obviously important. He's hurt but can still heal (as opposed to an ascended Astarion... who I have little if any hope for sdfkjdskf).

Cazador had spent the last two centuries branding it into his skin and mind, breaking his psyche to the point Astarion was worried there’d always be little cracks that remained. That he’d always be Cazador’s wilted poppy, ashamed and folding in on himself, his neck miserably drooped aside for the taking. 

Cazador is Astarion's Herakles, and I think that metaphor works even better considering that whole little side lore with Vellioth in the ruins. Herakles kills Geryon because he must, Geryon is a way for Herakles to ultimately reach a life free of consequence, but it's not like Herakles is innately malicious in the act. He is hardened after already facing so many labors and the trauma that was forced on him by Hera that induced his journey in the first place.

Cazador wants power, some part of him is probably truly convinced he's easier on his spawn than Vellioth was to him (a lot of insults to Astarion are about his feelings and "whining", Cazador feels vindicated in his trauma and is far gone), and sacrificing Astarion is simply a part of that journey. There is no world where their destinies do not intertwine. Geryon will always be pierced by Herakles, and Astarion wouldn't be the Astarion we know without being pierced by Cazador (and without his ultimate decision to finally separate himself from him, or to become him.) Astarion, understandably, will never not feel some sort of shame or agony over this moment, from natural emotions and I'm sure years of Cazador victim-blaming him. He consented to Cazador's help that night after all, didn't he? (And we simply won't acknowledge the coercion.)

Astarion’s attempts to prolong the inevitable were shattered by thick layers of stone suddenly slamming in front of his face, muffling sound and casting him into a void. He could hardly hear Cazador’s foul laugh as he departed. Astarion waited all night for Cazador to return. And then all of the next day, and the next one after that. Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Astarion started to agree that dying would have been easier. More peaceful. He had pondered hundreds of ways to attempt to kill himself while stuck in this abyss, the voices that had started developing only giving further inspiration, but it was impossible. He was sure.  All he could do was wait. Beat and claw at the stone around him. Curse. Repeat. Sometimes he'd wonder. If he'd ever get out of here. If Cazador would remember after forgetting. If this would be his forever. The voices began to recite to him again. Just how long eternity can be.

I think this is the greatest and most obvious similarity between these two, within Carson's retelling. Geryon feels somehow trapped and doomed by the narrative from his early childhood, and receives some blunt confirmation of it when he faces early sexual abuse. This affects his entire life, his early relationships. Geryon can't be older than ten in this excerpt, but knows the pain of isolation because of his trauma and for feeling different.

Astarion was plucked up by Cazador right out of law school. While for us it's not all that young, for elves he was fiercely immature, basically just starting to come into himself at his first big-boy job. Astarion was likely raised with a lot of privilege that also made him a bit more naive, his book smarts not meeting street smarts, which has him meet his end. In his undeath, that basically flips, Astarion plays his manipulation games and indulges in petty crime and seduction, unable to dedicate himself to studies. He reads and he's witty, but can you imagine the Astarion we know as a judge? It's giving Divorce Court. It's giving Judge Judy. (Honestly maybe that's what got him whacked in the first place.)

Astarion is already constrained to what Cazador lets him be as a slave. He's less than a person, and his own body is one of his greatest trauma sources.

All of this, to be punished so supremely when making an act of slight self-preservation. Astarion wanting to maintain some of his principles and let someone go. It becomes his greatest regret, his worst and most defining punishment. It's how Cazador breaks him.

I restructure some of the circumstances within my fic, as to better tie in the main romance, but it still functions as a punished act of self-preservation for Astarion. I'm also sure most people are familiar with the pain that solitary confinement can bring, but if not, it's genuinely inhumane and dehumanizing. Lack of stimulation is extremely damaging to the psyche, I wrote in Astarion breaking into psychotic episodes while enclosed, but even in game, he speaks about going catatonic. I'm sure minorly from exhaustion after fighting, but also from the isolation. His mind likely just drifted and dissociated beyond belief, and I can't imagine it. This is my favorite piece of Astarion's story we are given, it really is just so pivotal and heartbreaking, to be punished for having freewill in the most objectifying circumstances.

In summary to Astarion Ancunin I just sorta feel like this I guess...

ddfsdfdk but yeah just emo about my poor boy feeling so weird and disconnected yet so drowned in his own emotions you know...

[my homage to autobiography of red, fic series page, my ao3 page]

[solitaire-sol]

(Slightly Late) Snippet

Thanks to @groundzero-v for the tag! This is a bit from my previously-mentioned Regency AU, though I'm still waffling over it because I'm not as familiar with the Regency period as I am with the Victorian. Anyway: The young Earl of Welspryng Grange attends a house party at the country estate of the Most Hon. Marquess Black, intent on a proper marriage to Lady Regina, the Marquess' daughter. Lord James Potter is confident that things will go according to plan-- but did not account for Lady Regina's elder brother, the notorious Lord Sirius Black.

His first instinct, of course, was to reach for James-- James, already James, even if only in Sirius' mind. It would have been all too easy to put out a hand and halt the other's flight, to wrap his fingers around the finely-muscled arm beneath that merino sleeve or twist his fingers into that snowy cravat in the same way that they could so easily tangle in those glossy black curls, forever on the verge of being flyaway. It would have been easy, a simple act of seduction that Sirius had performed to great success many times before.

And yet something had stilled him, leaving Sirius to watch in uncharacteristic inaction as James muttered a half-audible goodnight and beat a hasty retreat, the tails of his coat disappearing around the edge of the drawing-room door. Annoyance, and an odd, nebulous feeling of regret, welled up in Sirius, who berated himself for his inexplicable hesitation and consoled himself with a swallow of his father's finest cognac. The sweet burn of the spirit was a match for the frustrated desire that still had his senses alight, so it hadn't been a lack of interest that had held Sirius back; some subconscious concern, then, about a lack of interest on the part of James?

No, Sirius considered himself an excellent judge of whether or not someone might welcome his attentions. Sirius doubted very much that James had ever considered another man with prurient interest, but he was equally certain that he had not misread the way that James had glanced at him at dinner, the wit that had matched Sirius' rather blatant innuendo with a much more discreet yet certainly playful response.

'And clever, to boot,' Sirius thought, holding his almost-empty glass to the fire and watching the flames play through shifting hues of brown and amber and gold that brought to mind the color of the young Earl's eyes. Not merely moneyed, then, nor only handsome; his reputation, from what little Sirius knew of it, was spotless, thus Sirius had assumed that Lord Potter would be as dull as the lack of scandal implied. He was beginning to reconsider that assumption, the periodic gleam that flashed out from those hazel eyes indicating much more than the well-brought-up, easily-collared dullard that Sirius had guessed his parents would obtain for his sister.

"What a waste," Sirius murmured, and drained his glass. James Potter deserved so much more than Regina, with her petty jealousies and her unfulfilled ambitions… and perhaps Sirius would be able to provide it, at least for a little while. If Fate, and James, proved amenable.

The beginnings of an optimistic reverie were disturbed as the drawing-room door opened, and Sirius perked up momentarily before he saw that it was only Regina, disappointment leaving a bitter taste in his mouth before his indifferent smile was back in place. "Regina," Sirius greeted her. "Aren't you up late, dear sister. Roaming the corridors when we have a gentleman guest-- Isn't that a little risqué for your reputation?"

Regina ignored Sirius' jibe, her long skirts rustling as she strode up to Sirius. Regina's posture was perfect, a stark contrast to Sirius' easy lean against the mantelpiece, but her doll-like face was set in a distinctly unladylike way, her eyes stormy.

"Stay away from him," Regina ordered, and her authoritative tone was enough to make Sirius want to laugh, even as her resemblance to their mother had never shown more clearly.

"And by 'him,' you mean… ?" Sirius prompted, swallowing the laugh that would undoubtedly have escalated the situation. His restraint mattered little, as Regina would not be deterred.

"I saw him leaving," Regina said, and Sirius' urge to laugh dissipated almost instantly, one eyebrow lifting as Regina continued, "Lord Potter. He seemed--" Regina paused for a moment, as if she wasn't quite sure how to describe it, before she forged ahead.

"I know how you are, Sirius," Regina said instead, and a spark of irritation flared up in Sirius before he forced it away. Precocious little Regina, who could be just as sanctimonious as the Marchioness herself. "I know your… predilections." She said the word as if it were a curse, and Sirius reflected with bitter amusement that it was probably as close as Regina could come to acknowledging her brother's 'predilections.'

"Lord Potter is a most eligible prospect," Regina went on, "and a fortuitous one, given how you'll undoubtedly ruin our family out of nothing more than spite once you're Marquess. I won't have you ruin this, not after everything I've had to do to get this far."

Regina spoke about the promise of an engagement as if it were nothing more than a business affair, which was fair enough; certainly, Sirius knew that was how his parents viewed it, as the most pragmatic match his sister was likely to find. The Potters were noble, wealthy, and distant relations, to boot-- An Earl was not a Marquess, but everything else made it close enough. Even so, there was something slightly more emphatic about Regina's demand than was strictly called for, and Sirius' eyes narrowed as the flickering light glinted off the silver comb in Regina's hair. The ornament was unremarkable enough, perfectly suited for a young woman of her age and rank, but the apple blossom engraved upon its curved surface seemed significant, and its arc of matched topaz stones was reminiscent of firelight through fine cognac.

That was it, Sirius realized. Regina was, as ever, a dutiful daughter, but she was also ensuring her own future. As an unmarried woman, she would forever be reliant on Sirius' uncertain goodwill, but Lord Potter represented freedom from that reliance, an escape from her parents' house and the chance to be the mistress of her own, an identity beyond "Lord Black's unfortunate sister." Of course Regina would cling to her newfound suitor with all of the strength in her dainty hands.

Sirius briefly considered the matter, which, after all, would affect him very little. It would even make things easier on him if Regina were married by the time their father finally ceded his title, since Sirius would not have to provide for her. When he'd made the idle decision to return, Sirius had never intended to stay: What would it cost him to give Regina this, to bow to her demand and leave James Potter be?

Sirius considered it, and then he considered James, with those hazel eyes and that brilliant smile, something secretive at the corners of that bewitching mouth which seemed suited to more than simply smiling. Sirius prided himself on never letting lust cloud his better judgment, but there was more to his attraction to James than something so commonplace— something familiar. James Potter intrigued him.

"My apologies, dear sister," Sirius said at last, moving to refill his glass. "But I cannot grant your request. As you know, ruining things is a special talent of mine."

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Every step forward: Entry 22

Summary: In a canon divergent mini-series that will probably never end; Sabrina’s Nobody is told by Xemnas to keep watch on Antiform Sora in the days leading up to the Keyblade War. Through journal entries, the nihilistic Nobody relates how Antiform struggles to be between light and darkness, how they dodge the remaining members of the Guardians of Light, and how weirdly attached the two get over the course of several months. First | Previous | Next

AO3 link: here

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XXII: Self Projection

Vanitas gave us a little visit today. He said it was to check in on the beast’s progress- he and I both knew better the moment he actually looked at the cursed creature. Vanitas had gone deathly silent as he looked the beast over. He never brought down his helmet to show the growing hurt and hatred he had. The Unversed did that for him- a whole army appearing around us in moments time.

Then he spat at it. Declared the creature a failure, a broken heart. I wonder how much he was self projecting. The face Vanitas claims was that of Sora’s before all of this. I’ll spare details as they will be repeated elsewhere. Not that I can’t see the frustration. This heart was supposed to be strong enough to heal another. This heart gave Vanitas an identity when he was nothing more than a faceless puppet for Xehanort. Now it is a creature of darkness. Now it is a beast that acts only on instinct. It could be rather disheartening if you cared enough.

And I do not.

Some time after, we exchanged a few words of meaningless flattery with each other. My Other and the missing half of Vanitas had a certain level of chemistry. As Vanitas can feel what his Half has felt, a measure of adoration has been kept alive. I could care less about that connection either way. Vanitas gets a good ego stroke if I indulge him. Hearing his pleased smirk is an absent joy.

When I asked if he would grace us with his presence again, he immediately looked to the creature. He never gave an answer.

But we all know what he would have said.