#my heart would jusr DROP to the floor when i hear that info

[fatuismooches]

hi smooches,

i've been having so much childe brainrot and its just UGHHHHH

ok, so...

you and ajax were best friends, laughing and playing together in the snezhnayan winter, running down the shoreline of your hometown. he was shy, and would confide in you, all of his secrets, dreams and insecurities. how he wished he could be the hero his father named him after.

of course, he told you about how he wished his parents didn't dote on him too much. you pinky promised not to tell anyone about his doubts. and then, your mother told you that your best friend was missing.

the three days that follow are a vicious cycle of worry and regret because you never told anybody about his thoughts that could've stopped him. now he was lost among snow-capped pines, with wolves and bears, while you sat weeping by the crackling fire in your house.

so you went to look for him, on the third day and found him. a vision in one hand, a shortsword in the other. and his eyes... dull. dead.

but you ran to him, and embraced him (but didn't look at his face), eyes glossy with tears and your mouth full of words left unsaid: i'm sorry, are you okay, i missed you, i love you.

but he was different. now brash and confident, thirsty for bloodshed, picking fights with his classmates. he was not the ajax you grew up with, and lay in the snow with, and spent lonely, dreary afternoons talking about your dreams with. he was a stranger in your friend's body.

and as your parent's gazes clouded with disapproval, you shied away.

of course, he was hurt. but you avoided his gaze, and refused to speak to him, so you never knew the full extent of his anguish.

not long after that, he was sent to fatui training camp, then was going to become an agent. your mother asked whether you would like to see him off before he started work in the field.

you bit your lip and said no.

a few years later, debt collectors from northland bank come knocking at your door. you agree to join the fatui and pay off the debt with your salary, with your parents ailing and unfit for work.

much to your dismay, you learn you are to work under the fatui harbinger tartaglia.

(that's all i got for now. my writing sucks but i just need to get this out of my brain.)

OH MY RBFJFEW THIS IS SCRATCHING MY CHILDE BRAINROT THAT CAME BACK IN FULL FORCE AFTER THE ARCHON QUEST-This is like. Childhood friends to acquaintances to strangers to co-workers to friends to lovers. It's a wild and long ride.

Being childhood friends with Ajax is such a lovely experience :( He's the one who taught you how to fish and you two would spend hours together doing so, even cutting the ice to find a good spot. He'd tell you about the stories his father told him too, and even if he tried to hide it you could see how excited these tales made him. How he hoped to be like them too. You two would also take care of baby Teucer together! His family considered you one of them too. Ajax was undoubtedly one of your favorite people. And maybe you had a teeny crush on him. Maybe.

Though all of that changes when he comes back after his mysterious three-day disappearance in which he is no longer scared or hesitant but instead gives off an aura you have never felt before. Regardless you can't help but embrace him despite the new vibes because that is your friend! But soon enough nothing is the same ever again. I mean, how do you explain a kid going from shy to confident enough to pick fights and brawl with random people? You didn't know what to do, not when your friend suddenly seemed to crave conflict and battle which you were left out of.

You didn't want to leave Ajax. But it was your only choice. It didn't look like there would be room in his life for you anymore anyway, he seemed to enjoy the thrill of bloodshed and battle much more now. He may be hurt, but he'd forget about you soon enough with the way things were going. (Little did you know how much your disappearance hurt what little remained of his cracked heart)

You couldn't say you were surprised when Ajax joined the Fatui. But it was hard to think that the same kid who was always so quiet was now physically and mentally adept enough to join such an organization. Yet no matter how much you tried to forget about him you would always buy the newspapers that had him in them. You'd eavesdrop on others whenever they spoke about his accomplishment. You simply couldn't let go of your childhood crush.

And Ajax couldn't let go of you either. Maybe that's why he specifically requested for you to work under him, unbeknownst to you.