#my heart rate shot up. i went to investigate…

[goldensunset]

from one hot girl to another, the ultimate hot girl has traversed time and space

[honey-on-your-tongue]

human!reader being jakes side piece??🫣🤭

😩😩😩😩😩 what wouldn't I give to be his side piece omggg

Jake meeting you for the first time and just absolutely going head over heels for you. Your small human body, soft and pliable in comparison to his enormous, strong body. The cute little outfits you wear, the way you do your hair, the little glances you give him every now and then...

He feels like a pervert, some out of control asshole as he lays at night, jerking off to the thought of you. Your tiny lips around his cock. Your little body on his lap. Your eyes full of pretty tears as he fucks you beyond your limits.

And then he begins to realize how flustered you get around him. He can hear your heart rate picking up, can smell your arousal, can almost sense the heat in your gaze...

One day, when he wanders into the lab and finds you all alone, he takes his shot.

“Mornin', kid,” he greets, inhaling your sweet scent, enjoying the way your heart races.

You smile timidly. “Jake. Hi.”

He glances around. “Where is everyone else?” he questions, taking a seat on one of the lab tables.

“Something about an expedition,” you reply. “Went to investigate some plant or another.” You make your way around the lab, filing paperwork where it belongs and organizing jars full of chemical substances.

“And they left you all alone?” he asks, trying to hide the hope in his voice.

“I'm...not big on expeditions of that sort,” you admit, blushing softly.

He frowns slightly. “'Of that sort'?” he echoes.

You nod. “I think it's more interesting when we visit the Omaticaya. The plants and all just don't really catch my attention.”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “Oh? You only find us natives interesting?”

You blush more. “Um. Yeah...I guess.”

He chuckles softly, rising to his feet and walking over to you. “What about us do you like?”

You avoid his gaze. “Um. I like learning the customs, the chores...oh, and the language. I love learning the language. But, um, some words are tough on the tongue. You kinda gotta roll your tongue in a really odd way to pronounce it correctly.”

He smirks as he softly caresses your cheek, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, it's a bitch.” He laughs softly. “I can help you with that tongue thing though, if you'd like.”

Your innocent eyes meet his. “Really? I'd love that!”

He grins. “You poor little thing,” he says quietly, his voice a low purr. He picks you up and kisses you, not giving you a chance to react.

You gasp softly, little hands landing on his shoulders, soft body pressing against his. He slides his tongue into your mouth, rolling it around yours, exploring your warm mouth. You moan softly, allowing him to devour you, mind a complete blank from the feel of his lips on yours.

He leads you to one of lab tables, sitting you on it, his tongue expertly exploring the soft cavern of your mouth.

You hum softly, breathing heavy, heart racing and stomach fluttering.

Jake smirks against you as the scent of your arousal slowly becomes evident, a sweet smell that has his tail swishing from side to side, an almost predatory impulse to be inside you taking over him.

“Goddamn, girl,” he grunts. “Look what you're doin' to me...”

You blush as you meet his gaze, those amber eyes narrow, pupils dilated. He looks animalistic, a predatory hunger emanating from his skin. You swallow hard, heart racing, and then you glance down.

You can see his cock, hard under his loincloth, and you feel a heat wash over you. You reach for it, but Jake grabs your hand and tsks softly.

“Nuh-uh, girl,” he says. “Me first.” He kneels on the floor, smirking at you as he pushes your pretty skirt up, exposing your panties. He holds your gaze as he leans his face between your thighs, pressing his nose to your cunt and inhaling the sweet scent of your arousal. He licks you through your panties, your slick dripping through the thin material. He can taste you, feel the warmth of your moist pussy, and it makes his cock twitch.

He groans lowly, the sound almost a growl. His ears fold back as he pushes your panties to the side, exposing your swollen folds, your throbbing clit. He bites his lower lip as he admires the sight before him. He looks up at you before swiftly pulling your panties off. He likes the skirt, so he leaves that on.

He kisses your thighs, softly bites them before his mouth reaches your pussy. He blows a soft sigh of air on your clit, making you shudder, and he chuckles. And then he's sucking on your clit, his enormous hands holding your thighs spread, his tail swishing one way and then another.

You gasp and then moan, falling back on your elbows as you feel his large tongue sliding over your entrance. You whine lowly, one of your hands moving to hold his head. You tangle your fingers in the thick locks, tugging at his hair slightly.

He's delighted, his ears twitching with each sound you make, his cock almost aching from how hard it is. He runs his sharp canine over your clit, making you squeal, and it makes him feral.

One of his hands slides to your cunt, a thick finger tracing your entrance before sliding inside of you with ease. You mewl at the sensation of his calloused digit, laying on your back on the table, both of your hands now on his head.

As he sucks your clit, he curls his finger inside of you, expertly finding that spongy spot that has your legs jerking and your back arching off the table. He chuckles with each little sound you make, knowing your moans and whimpers are going to haunt his dreams.

He tests the waters, pressing a second finger against your entrance. When you only moan and push your hips against his hand, he slides it inside of you. Both of his rough, thick fingers stretch you out, pressing against all the right spots.

“Jake,” you whine as a hot coil begins spiraling in your womb. “Jake...”

He groans, his eyes fluttering shut as he hears his name from your lips. He thrusts in and out of you with his fingers gently, making sure he doesn't hurt you. He curls them up against your g-spot, relishing in the sound of each moan you let out.

You feel a sharp, searing string stretching in your core, burning in the best way. You whine, trying to warn Jake, but you can't think. You're not even sure what you're supposed to warn him about or what you're supposed to say. You just whimper, pathetic, writhing on the table.

As Jake keeps going, that sensation within you spreads and grows, tightening your entire body until suddenly you know you can't hold it in. The string snaps, sending a shock of pleasure through you, and then you squirt on him. The feeling makes you gasp, a breathless moan of surprise leaving your lips, swollen from where you've bitten them.

Jake groans as he drinks up your release, feeling dazed from the arousal that overcomes him. He pulls his fingers out of you and looks up at you. You're all sweaty, hair messy, chest heaving with each breath. He smirks softly before pushing his digits into your mouth, making you taste yourself.

You groan on his fingers, licking your own juices off of them. He gasps as he feels your soft lips tighten around his digits, and then your tongue tracing over his skin.

He has the sudden image of you on your knees, sucking his cock, that tiny mouth barely able to fit him...

“C'mere,” he grunts, pulling you off the table and then swiftly turning you around. He bends you over the surface, pressing your chest to the tabletop. You gasp and then moan quietly when you realize what's about to happen.

He traces his fingers from the nape of your neck down your spine, between your shoulder blades, to the small of your back. He slides his hands over the skin of your ass, then between your thighs, and he plunges his digits into your cunt, still wet and swollen from his mouth.

You cry out at the sudden intrusion, a soft pain spreading over you before turning into a sharp knife of pleasure that breaks apart any coherent thoughts left in your scrambled mind.

Jake chuckles as he pulls his fingers out of you. He grabs your ass cheeks in his ginormous hands, squeezing the flesh.

“So pretty...,” he groans, as if the fact pained him. He leans down and bites your ass, making you squeal. He smiles as he sees the shape of his teeth on your soft flesh. “So fuckin' pretty...so good for me...”

He takes his loincloth off, his cock twitching as it becomes exposed to the cool air conditioning of the lab.

He runs the thick, bulbous head between your folds. You shudder, nails digging into the marble of the table, and whine softly.

He grins. “Yeah?” he breathes, tail swishing, ears perked as he awaits your answer.

You nod. “Yes,” you reply, a soft whimper.

He laughs quietly. “Say it. Say it nice and clear for me, babygirl,” he says, teasing the head of his cock against your pussy again.

You whine. “Yes, please, fuck me. Please, Jake...”

“Atta girl,” he praises, and then slowly pushes into you. You cry out in pain as his cock forces your velvet walls past their limits. He places a hand on your back, holding you against the table. “Shh,” he coos. “I know, baby. I know. Just relax f'r me, hm?” He gently continues pushing into you. You tremble, tears forming in the corners of your eyes and nod.

You take a deep breath, loosening your muscles, eyes closing as you calm yourself down. The pain lessens and then Jake's able to slide further in. Once the head of his cock is inside of you, the pain washes away, leaving a throbbing yearning, hot and blinding.

“There ya go, see?” he groans, feeling your tiny pussy so tight around his cock. “Such a good girl...Deep breath now, honey.”

You take a deep breath and he thrusts into you until the tip of his cock meets your cervix. “Fuck!” you squeal, squirming.

He holds you down, grunting. He's not completely inside of you, but he knows that with a little bit of practice, you'll be able to take all of him..

“How you feelin', girl?” he asks, leaning down to lick up your spine. “You holdin' up okay?”

You nod, tears running down your face from the stretch his cock forces on your pussy. But it's not a bad feeling. Quite the opposite; you love it. “Mhmm,” you say, nodding.

Jake spanks your ass, his huge hand leaving a sharp sting on the sensitive flesh. You squeal, jerking, and Jake sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth as he watches your ass jiggle.

“Say it,” he demands. “Are you okay or not?”

You nod. “Y-yes, sir. I'm okay,” you hurry out.

“There's a good girl. Not that difficult, was it?” He softly caresses your ass before he holds your hips in his enormous hands. He begins thrusting into you slowly, carefully, and you mewl.

You feel so full, your entire mind blank. The only thing you know is that Jake's inside of you and that you want nothing more.

When he sees that you're enjoying his cock, he increases his pace, holding you in place as his thrusts become fast and harsh, sending jolts of pleasure through your already weak body.

You cry out, your cheek pressing against the cool tabletop, your thighs quivering. Jake groans, his ears folding back as he glances between your bodies.

He sees your tiny, tiny pussy stretched around his thick cock, folds raw and swollen from his size. He moans lowly, watching himself slide in and out of you, his eyes stuck on the way your ass shakes with each thrust he delivers.

“Fuck, look at you,” he gasps. “Doing such a good job, baby. Oh, your tiny body can barely take me, but you're doing so well, hm?”

You whine, eyes rolling into the back of your head. “Mmm,” you manage to whine, attempting to push your hips back against his.

You fail miserably, seeing how you're too weak to even think, but Jake finds the attempt endearing. He chuckles softly, almost fondly, as he keeps fucks you harder. He slides a hand under your body, finding your clit, and he plays with the little nub.

You cry out as if in complaint, the ecstasy growing within you becoming an unbearable sensation. He can feel how your pussy tightens around him, and he knows you're close.

He spanks your ass just to watch it jiggle and to hear your little gasp, and he says, “Come for me, girl. Come all over my cock so I can fill ya up, huh?”

You mewl, thighs trembling, body weak from his rough fucking. You can't answer him, but you know you're going to come. And soon.

Your eyes flutter shut, pussy clenching around him so tight he can barely thrust in and out of you. Little stars dance behind your eyelids and you can feel your mind growing hazy from the pleasure.

Your ears are ringing, your heart thumping violently, and for a moment you fear you might pass out. But then your orgasm hits you, shaking your body from head to toe, leaving you weaker than you already were.

You moan as the pleasure finally reaches its peak, your release a sweet, sweet feeling that leaves your body at ease.

You fall against the table, limp, and Jake thrusts into you a couple more times before he comes as well. You squeal when you feel the thick, hot ropes of his seed filling your pussy. He grunts loudly, holding you in place as he delivers his load deep in your cunt.

“Atta girl,” he groans. “Goddamn. Such a good fuckin' thing, hm? Not only pretty, but well-behaved too...” He pulls out of you, making you gasp at the loss of him, and he watches as his cum slides out of you, down your thighs.

He smirks, chuckling as he pushes your skirt back around your thighs. He turns you around and softly brushes your hair off your face.

“You okay, baby?” he asks. “I didn't hurt you?”

You shake your head, still breathless and fucked dumb..“No.”

“I'm glad.” He fixes your skirt, straightening it out. He then puts his loincloth on again and grabs your panties. “I'm keeping these,” he informs you.

Your eyes widen. “But I-I gotta wear—”

“You've got more, don't you?” he chuckles. “I want this pair. It's all wet from that pretty cunt of yours.” He smirks. “Don't worry, imma put it to good use.”

You blush slightly. “Oh.”

He laughs, seeing the slightly embarrassed look on your face. “Darlin', do me one more favor, yeah? Tonight, when you're gonna go to bed, take a picture 'f your pussy for me, hm? I wanna see that my cum's still deep inside of ya.”

You blush more, clearing your throat. “O-okay.” You nod. “Alright.”

He smiles. “Good girl.” He kisses your forehead. “See you 'round, kid.”

Jake going to the lab almost daily after that with the sole purpose of fucking you. He keeps taking your panties, giving them back only once they lose your smell. He'll purposely lick you and touch you through the thin cotton to ensure your slick is all over them. At night, when the kids and Neytiri are well asleep, he'll wander out of the tent and jack off, your panties clutched tight in one hand, his cock in another. He's sometimes spilled his cum on your panties. When that happens, he returns them to you, looking almost proud, and the sight of his cum on your panties usually drives you into a frenzy. And he can smell it on you.

Jake having you take pictures and recording videos for him. You with your fingers in your cunt, fucking yourself while his cum is still dripping out of you. He cherishes those videos. He especially likes to play them in your own bedroom, watching them and making you watch them, one of his hands down your pants, or maybe your mouth around his cock. And then you two end up recording a few rounds more. You always hide those videos very, very well. Amongst your clothes and your lube and your sex toys. And when he's fucking you, Jake loves to remind you of them: “Such a dirty slut, aren't ya? What would everyone else say if they saw that? What would they think if they found pictures of you with my cock down my throat? You're a whore, hm? And you love it.”

You deny it every time. But you both know it's a lie. You're Jake's little toy, and you love it.

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@kamcrazy123 @yagirlheree @sweetllamaparadise @neytirishottie @crazy4books1 @letsloveimagines

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Blog masterlist

[shalscumbunny]

Dear Doctor | Chapter 2: Depravity

Summary: Shalnark suffered a small injury while investigating some things for the Gen'ei Ryodan, his intention was that a doctor would cure him and nothing else, unfortunately that doctor was you and what you least expected is that one of the most wanted criminals in the world would end up becoming obsessed with you.

Pairing: Shalnark X F.Reader

Warnings: Stalking, theft of clothes, male masturbation, cum shot, cum tribute, Shalnark being a degenerate pervert as always

Author’s note: I always mention it in all my writings in English, but better safe than sorry, English is not my native language so it is very likely to find many mistakes and also that I know practically nothing about writing “X character and Y/N”

I am not a doctor so I will say my life excuse for everything, “I am a social science student”, so if something is wrong I apologize

Sites: AO3

From one day to the next you became a very important part of Shalnark's life, he loved to follow you everywhere and see you without you noticing, that only made it more exciting for him.

Soon his computer began to fill up with various photos of you being distracted, working or simply doing nothing, but the most valuable photo for him was the one he took with you, that photo was his wallpaper, just the two of us, together, smiling, your cute, beautiful and perfect smile.

However, Shalnark is not the type of man who settles so little, the times that he stalked you, the idea of taking something of yours as a souvenir began to haunt his head.

One day when you were coming out of your guard at the hospital, you dropped a package, obviously it was Shalnark who picked it up and took it to his house at a cheerful pace.

When he arrived, he saw that they were clothes that you had worn on guard duty, a smile adorned his face, all of that smelled of you, there was no better smell than that, however, there was a garment that caught his attention above all.

A perverted smile formed on Shalnark's face when he took your underwear in his hand, he instinctively brought it closer to his nose, beginning to sniff it shamelessly.

"Oh... my doctor smells so good" he gasped as he kept sniffing, sticking the garment to his nose and seeing your cute smiling face on his computer.

That delicious aroma of yours was driving him crazy, he was getting addicted, trying to memorize it as the arousal began to pump through his body.

It was a matter of minutes before Shalnark started patting his pants and soon after he started stroking his cock, he was so hard just from smelling so intimate from you.

His mind began to wander as he closed his eyes, Shalnark imagining his beloved doctor so inappropriately lewd now, speeding up in his hand.

"Y/N... You're so perfect... It feels so good... So good" Shalnark moaned, feeling his pleasure rise.

You looked so good in Shalnark's mind, you were so perfect in his dirty imagination of him about you, you were his cute, pretty doctor, it made him moan more desperately.

He was enjoying it, he was having fun smelling your underwear, caressing himself and undressing you in his mind, he could only smell that underwear like a needy madman.

He didn't take long to spill out, reaching ecstasy and dirtying his hand, but that depraved act was dedicated to you and only you.

"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! I need you!” He moaned out loud feeling his heart rate quicken.

He was breathing heavily, on the edge, but he didn't care, he just went back to caressing himself and rubbing your underwear on his nose, moaning your name over and over again.

Your scent had him like an animal, panting and growling, imagining his dirtiest fantasies in that work of art that he held in his hands and that he would probably treasure forever.

Shalnark only became more and more degenerate when he thought of you and how much he loved and needed you, he ended up depriving himself of his climax and raised his hand starting to print your picture.

When the photo was ready, he put it on the desk and stood up starting to caress himself again with more vigor and sniff your underwear while looking at your pretty face in the photo, totally unable to blink.

“Doctor… How can you be so beautiful? Oh... you're beautiful... so perfect...” Shalnark praised you like a deity, dedicating this act so sick and impure to you “Soon I'll make you mine, don't worry... Soon you'll be mine alone, okay?”

Shalnark was panting with excitement looking at your photo until he finally climaxed again, watching with pride as your pretty face in the photo began to get smeared with his thick milky cum.

"Doctor... my semen looks so good on your beautiful face..." Shalnark moaned in your underwear

Shalnark had to sit down after that, the last climax was too intense, the best part where he let all his semen stain your pretty face, now he just smelled your underwear to calm down.

"God... that felt so good" he said, still sniffing and taking the photo with his other hand "I don't know how long I can take it, doctor... I need to see you in real life with my semen decorating your face...

Shalnark was freaking out about you… it was amazing how just a small act of kindness from you was enough to make him go crazy for you, but surely the best thing was that you didn't suspect anything at all.

Thank you so much for reading my shit 🖤

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 2 -> Chapter 3

[cbk1000]

So I was looking a bit more into reporting that doctor, and while you have to specifically sign a waiver allowing the Medical Commission to release your name and identity because your identity is confidential by default under state law, there is a note on the complaint form I downloaded that the Medical Commission may not be able to investigate without releasing the identity of the patient or the person who filed the complaint. So you can stay anonymous...but you might not have your complaint investigated. If you release your identity that means the provider can see your identity and the complaint filed. So I will definitely have to wait until I'm officially established at the other clinic.

Also, while dumpster diving on Reddit I found this website for what seems to basically be a coalition of anti-vaxx docs and because I hate myself I went to the vaccine injury page, and even they say most adverse events from the Covid shot happen within two weeks and peak at about four to six months, but in rare cases they may happen as late as a year later. My last booster was in 2021, so even amongst these people, trying to claim I suffered injury three years later is crazy pants. Also, they were referring to injuries of the cardiac variety, like myocarditis, and, as thoroughly established by multiple EKGs, two echocardiograms, a seven day monitor, and a cardiologist, my heart is absolutely fine and is not causing my heart rate issues. And even so my doctor (though I use this term loosely) still can't let go of pericarditis because he's still brought it up at my last two appointments, both of which occurred after the cardiologist cleared me, because the notes from the cardiologist 'mentioned pericarditis.' And when I pointed out that that's not what I had been told by the ARNP I saw for my initial consult, the tech who did my follow-up echocardiogram, or the cardiologist himself, he showed me the note in my chart like that was his trump card, only for me to look at it and go, 'Yeah, it says I was REFERRED for suspicion of possible pericarditis, not that I HAVE it.' Like sorry I can read, dude, you should try it sometime.

[forthesanityofstorytellers]

Dragon

Pretty sure this was in response to a Tumblr prompt, but I have no idea where it went or who it was by.

At any rate. Have a short story about a house dragon. :D

WC: 1038

Summary: Best house security system ever. Even if it does scratch up the curtains once in a while.

--------------------------

“Hey, hey!” She frowned at me, motioning to my wings and claws tangling her sheets. “I told you you’re not allowed on the furniture. Get down. You have your own bed and very nice perch.”

I huffed at her, smoke curling around my face, but decided to listen. It wasn’t like her bed was that interesting anyway. 

My human was never one to understand that we dragons owned all the ‘furniture’ they so highly decorated, but it was of little matter. I liked this human. It’s why I decided to live with her all those years ago, and pretended to listen to her...but only when it suited me.

Grabbing her keys, she waved at me from the door as I slipped up my window perch, reciting her daily schedule to me as if I couldn’t remember. She left without me, and I watched with a sulking face at the window until she disappeared down the street.

It’s not that I couldn’t leave the house, mind you. I just enjoyed watching her struggle to resist coming back in and giving me one last hug. Some days the sulking face worked, some days it didn’t.

I stretched and minded how much flames came out when I yawned; she would get upset if I set another pair of curtains on fire. She constantly told me she was looking into fire-proof blinds so I’d stop being a hazard. She constantly forgot to follow through, as well.

Again, I didn’t mind. I was her companion because I chose it, and I chose her because I liked her. She was soft and gentle, accommodating but firm: no scratching up the floors with my claws, no stealing her jewelry, no biting her (but biting strangers in the house was okay -- as long as I quit once she deemed them safe). In return, she bought me the best cuts from the butcher, provided a den all of my own inside her house, and pretended not to notice when I took trinkets from other humans. All in all, sharing this den was of a mutual benefit; I didn’t have to defend my hoard from other dragons, and she got a house-sitter with teeth.

Speaking of which.

My nap was interrupted when I heard something at the back door. A quick stretch of the wings brought me to my perch in the back, where I could watch from the ceiling. The door jiggled a few times before the door shuddered and broke; two men made their way inside, bodies dressed all in black.

A smile curled around my long snout, tiny puffs of smoke wisping through the air. This was my favorite part of the job.

Slithering back into my hidey-holes, I followed them closely. They split up, one to cover the front rooms and one to cover the back rooms. I decided to take the one making his way to the living room first.

Letting my tail trail down to the wall, I casually flicked something plastic down to the ground. He spun at the noise, gun ready and waiting. Of course, he saw nothing, and I gave him long enough to tell himself so before going back. Slipping along the wall, I knocked off another un-breakable wall doodad, causing him to swing around again.

He approached as slowly as he could, both hands on the gun. He spotted the knocked-down trinkets and bent to investigate. Digging my claws into the wall, I slowly crawled upside down until my eyes would be near his, working my smoke up into a small cloud.

He stood, scratching his head. I reached out and licked the back of his neck with a slime-filled tounge. He jerked and spun. His eyes grew wide. I think his heart may have stopped, but his lungs didn’t.

Letting out a wailing scream, he shouted for the other guy while leveling his gun at me.

Wow. Brave.

He fired a few wild shots that all missed me. My tounge lashed out, snatching his little piece of metal and landing it right in my mouth. I bit down twice and swallowed, burping up an extra-hot flame at his face. It singed his nose and eyebrows. Smacking the flames from his face, he turned and fled.

I heard a startled shout from behind, bullets zinging around me. I spun my neck, still upside-down, and breathed a billowing cloud of smoke at him. While he was busy screaming and flailing and swearing, I slid back up the wall and disappeared.

A few more shots went off before he walked out of my cloud to find me ‘gone. Swearing about demons and ghosts, the second guy began to flee.

Cackling, I landed with a thud on the ground and chased after him, snapping my jaws together and breathing points of fire at his behind until he was out of my domain. Chuckling, I swung the door shut with my tail and lumbered off to check the rooms. Nothing was touched, the only suggestion of their presence being a small backpack in the center of the room. I tossed it on her bed and went back to my perch; the sun was exceptionally nice near the front rooms this time of day.

She came home after a five-hour nap and plopped on the couch, exhausted. I watched her for a moment, the TV coming on as her eyes slid over her dwelling. They caught sight of the holes in the wall, both from my claws and the far-flung bullets, a tiny bit of scorch left on the wall by accident. She tossed a suspicious glance over at me, which I immediately pretended to ignore.

She went to check the rest of the house, groaning as she did, then came back and dug something out of the freezer. I caught the scent of frozen meat and looked up, the human dangling a couple of fat steaks in my direction.

I chomped on my snack, likely a reward for my good service, while she dug the spackle out of a back room and got to work.

She didn’t mind. I knew it. After all, a few holes and scorch marks are par for the course when you live with a dragon.

[wowbright]

Fic: Prodding

Klaine Advent 2022: recast

Words: ~ 3000 words

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Kurt gets surprising news from Mercedes.

I’m back with more vignettes from my Mormon!Klaine universe for Klaine Advent 2022! This vignette takes after Philosophies of Men.

My Mormon!Klaine Masterpost.

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“No!” Kurt shrieked from the kitchen at such an ear-splitting volume, Blaine almost cut himself with the razor. “This is not happening!”

Blaine went into emergency management mode. His heart pounded, but he made himself take deep, steady breaths. If Kurt had hurt himself, it wouldn't help to have both of them panicking.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Blaine asked as he rushed into the kitchen. Kurt sat at the table, staring at the letter from Mercedes. Ah, not a physical wound then, but an emotional one. That might be even worse.

Kurt looked up at Blaine, his cheeks flushing a ruddy pink. “Sorry. I didn't mean to say that out loud.”

Blaine sat next to him. “It's OK. Is it something you want to talk about?”

“You still have shaving cream …” Kurt pointed vaguely to Blaine’s neck.

“That's OK. I was almost done. If it's uneven, I can touch it up later.” Blaine grabbed the face towel that was draped over his shoulder and dabbed at his skin. “Presentable?”

“I'm not the right person to ask, Blaine. I always think you're presentable.”

Blaine felt the edges of his ears go hot. This felt like flirting. Was this flirting? No, of course not. Kurt was in the middle of having strong emotions. That's why Blaine was here. “Um, so I'm guessing Mercedes said something that upset you?”

Kurt set the letter down and buried his face in his hands. “It shouldn't. I don't know why it does.”

Blaine tried to think of situations in which that phrase could apply. He wondered if Mercedes was having a once-in-a-lifetime event—a wedding, a Broadway premiere—that Kurt couldn't be there for because he was here in Germany. Kurt would deny himself the right to feel sad about it, because missionaries were supposed to be happy to make sacrifices. “So, good for Mercedes, but bad for you?”

“No.” Kurt muttered through his fingers. “Good for me, and bad for Mercedes.”

Blaine drew a blank. "How so?"

“It’s … I swear, if I had any other mission companion than you, I wouldn't be able to share my disappointment with this. And maybe you won't get it, but ... I'll give it a shot.” Kurt had uncovered his face by now, but was looking away from Blaine, his gaze set on the kitchen window. His voice was full of foreboding. “She's meeting with the missionaries.”

Blaine didn't understand the sentence at first, it was so far removed from any of the terrible-type news he might have expected. He had to play it over in his head a couple of times before he processed it. “Wait. That's good, isn't it?”

“She's black, Blaine.”

“Right.” Blaine still wasn’t following.

“You're the one who woke me up to the church's problems with racism. How can I, in good conscience, support her investigating a church that sees her as less?”

Oh. Blaine knew the things he had told Kurt about Brigham Young had shaken him, but he hadn't realized how much. For Blaine, the racism of the second prophet of the restoration was disturbing, but it was part of a larger picture. Because Blaine didn't have blind faith in the leadership, even their worst actions couldn't harm his faith in the goodness of the church or its ability to bring people closer to the truth.

Blaine suddenly understood that, for someone like Kurt, who had spent his whole life thinking Brigham Young was as perfect as Joseph Smith or Jesus Christ, learning he wasn’t would make him question all his beliefs.

It was like those looms Kurt had shown him at the Deutsches Museum. There were ones that made fabric by weaving many different strands together, and others that did so by knitting a single strand into a sweater or an enormous piece of cloth. Blaine’s faith was like woven fabric—if you pulled out a single thread, the worst that could happen was a small gap in the fabric. And this wasn’t always a bad thing—sometimes clothmakers did this intentionally, to create texture and beauty in an otherwise monotonous design.

But Kurt’s faith was like a knitted fabric—if you pulled too hard on a thread, the entire thing would eventually unravel. There was no upside.

Blaine have never meant to damage Kurt’s faith like that. He'd meant to enrich it.

“I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't realize how much that affected you. But Brigham Young's been dead for more than a hundred and thirty years. He said and taught horrible things and, yes, a lot of our members believed them far after they should have known better. But that doesn't mean the church is inherently racist—just that it’s made mistakes. Our leaders have flaws. That’s why we have the guidance of the Holy Ghost—to confirm or disaffirm the things they’ve told us.”

Kurt looked skeptical. He broke a cookie into quarters, but didn't put any of the pieces into his mouth. “It’s not just Brigham Young. Black members were kept out of the temple until 1978. The temple, Blaine. The place we need to go to be with our families forever.”

“And that's awful. But I think of those leaders before 1978 the same way I think of Brigham Young. They were wrong. And the thing I hold onto is that they eventually came to understand they were wrong, and they repented. Do you know about Bruce R. McConkie? As an apostle, he taught that black people were spiritually inferior to everyone else on earth. But when the revelation came ending the priesthood ban, he said, ‘Forget everything that I have said, or what President Brigham Young … or whomsoever has said in days past that is contrary to the present revelation. … We have … a new flood of intelligence and light on this particular subject, and it erases all the darkness and all the views and all the thoughts of the past. They don’t matter anymore.’”

“But they do matter, Blaine. Because those policies hurt real people. And racism is still a problem in the church. All these pasty missionaries from the Mormon Corridor who want to pretend they can't see color, the fact that we can't sing gospel music in sacrament meeting because it’s too ‘ethnic’—”

“Yes. And that’s bad. Of course it’s bad. But it’s a problem everywhere, Kurt, inside the church and out of it.” Blaine spoke from experience. He'd been made to feel inferior for not being one-hundred percent white by some church members, but he'd also been made fun of for it at school and in playgrounds, too.

Kurt scoffed. “Not in Mercedes’ church! Everyone there is black. At least, almost everyone. The first time I went there with Mercedes, after I got over feeling out of place, I started noticing how comfortable she felt there. Just—safe, you know? In a way I hadn’t seen anywhere else. She wouldn't get that at one of our wards. She'd be surrounded by white people, just like she is everywhere else.”

Blaine was struck with a sense of longing. He wondered what it would be like, to be in a place like that. He often passed as white, but that still didn't mean he felt one-hundred percent safe in groups of white people. There was always the risk, even among the seemingly nicest folks, that someone would start making ethnic jokes or ranting about immigrants. And while he didn't have to worry about that as much when he visited the Philippines, there were so many cultural nuances he didn't understand, besides the fact that his Tagalog was terrible and his English was so obviously American-accented. It left him feeling like he did much of the time in his early days in Germany, on constant alert.

If a sense of belonging was so hard to come by, it couldn't be the only thing you considered in choosing a church. “Look. If she feels a pull toward the gospel, then she feels a pull toward the gospel. I've been a minority in every ward I’ve ever attended. But the church still works for me. What did she say in her letter about it, anyway?”

Kurt looked down at the letter and huffed. “Not much. Just ‘In Chicago for an entire month! Met a pair of female missionaries on the L train and have talked a couple times. They gave me a Book of Mormon—sorry, Kurt I didn't bring the one you gave me in high school on tour with me.’ Then she put in a smiley face. ‘It’s interesting. I like the story about the tree of life. We should talk about it when you get back! We’ll be in Columbus…’ et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.”

“OK. Well, that doesn't sound like she's on the verge of converting. Maybe she's just bored. I understand those national theater tours can be grueling.”

Kurt scowled at his scuffed CTR ring, twisting it back and forth over his finger. “I don't even know if that's what I'm upset about. Maybe I'm just angry at myself. You know how much time I spent trying to convert her in high school? Because I thought this church was the best option for everyone. And because she was the only girl I could remotely see myself marrying, and if that was the case, she had to convert. I wasn't going to go through the sacrifice of marrying a woman unless it was a temple marriage. Which, honestly … how many lectures did we get in priesthood quorums about not objectifying the sisters? But isn't looking at a woman as a ticket into heaven objectifying, too? I never considered her feelings about it. If it was good for me, it was good for her. But now, thinking about her reading the Book of Mormon and reading some of the stuff in there—It makes me feel queasy, Blaine.”

Blaine thought he knew what “stuff” Kurt was alluding to. “You mean about the Lamanites been cursed with the skin of blackness? If she's talking to the missionaries, they'll explain it to her the same way we explain it to investigators. That it’s a metaphor, like when we say someone is having ‘dark thoughts.’”

“Do you really believe that, though? Because if Brigham Young was a racist, then maybe Joseph Smith was, too. Maybe he put some of his own opinions into the Book of Mormon.”

“No. First of all, Joseph Smith wasn't a racist. He ordained black men. Second of all, God’s not a racist, so the Book of Mormon can’t be racist, either. It’s the one that tells us God ‘denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male female.’ Even the Bible doesn’t say that.”

Kurt studied Blaine dubiously, then picked up one of the long-abandoned pieces of cookie he'd left on his plate and popped it into his mouth. He chewed it completely before speaking. “I just can't stop thinking about when Elder St. James told me about the doubts Elder Thompson was having. It wasn’t just vague, generic doubts. Elder St. James went through this whole list of specific passages in the Book of Mormon and the Pearl of Great Price that Elder Thompson said were racist. And I've been reading over them since and … Blaine. If I take my believer goggles off, if I really look at the passages and take what they say at face value, without trying to find a reason they can't be as bad as they sound—they really do sound racist. I mean, the ‘skin of blackness’ passage sounds even more literal in German. In English, it says ‘because of their iniquity … the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them,’ which—I mean, now when I read it? Interpreting that as  dark thoughts seems like a real stretch. I've heard the theory that ‘come upon’ means the same as ‘drape upon, and so ‘skin’ actually refers to ‘clothing’, and it all means that they were no longer allowed to wear the white temple clothes and were forced to dress in black once instead. But in German, it says ‘their skin became black.’ There's none of that idea of being clothed in something. And the German translation is approved by the brethren. So the whole idea of ‘skin of blackness’ being about clothes goes out the window.”

Blaine felt a little queasy. He grabbed one of the German Books of Mormon from the bookshelf and flipped open to 2 Nephi 5. “No, Kurt, that's wrong. It says ‘their skin became blackish.’”

Kurt sat back in his chair, his arms crossed. His mouth was closed, but Blaine could see his tongue moving under his cheeks and lips, probing his teeth. “And how is that any better?”

“Well, schwärzlich could also mean darkish instead of blackish, so maybe it just means their skin got dirty or … OK, it doesn't sound better. But it could still be a metaphor. Joseph Smith was translating from Reformed Hebrew. All languages have idioms that don't translate well. Maybe this is one of them.”

"Sure, maybe. Except that it keeps getting repeated over and over in the book of Mormon. Not just Nephi, but Jacob in Alma talk about good people’s skin being white and bad people’s skin being dark, and if skin means clothes in Reformed Hebrew, then why didn't Joseph Smith translate it that way? Or if it means countenance or spirit, then why doesn't Joseph Smith translate it like that?”

Kurt stood up from the table and began pacing, fidgeting with his CTR ring the whole time. Blaine hoped the jeweler would be done with his new ring soon. It would be much easier to fidget with. “When you or I translate the word ‘in’ from English into German," Kurt continued, "we pick a different word depending on the context. Sometimes it’s in, and sometimes it's im, an, auf, hinein, or unter. Der Hahn can be a rooster or a faucet, but if you're talking about a sink, you should translate it is faucet, not rooster. If Joseph Smith had the gift of translation, then he should have been able to translate things correctly. So either what was written on the golden plates was racist, or Joseph Smith translated it badly and in a way he knew would be interpreted as racist, because he was an American living in the 1830s. Which means he wasn't using his gift of translation to its full extent. Because I'm not gifted, Blaine, but I know that if a German says, ‘My grandparents live where the fox and hare say goodnight to one another,’ I can't translate it that way into English or nobody will understand what I'm saying. I have to say that their grandparents live in the middle of nowhere.”

It was a lot to take in. Blaine was all for Kurt questioning things. He'd been trying to get Kurt to do that for most of their time together, prodding Kurt to recast the beliefs that constrained him into ones that would lead to his liberation. But now, instead of Blaine being the one doing the prodding, it was Kurt. Blaine wasn't so comfortable being poked.

Maybe he could chide Kurt for spending his personal scripture study time scrutinizing passages that gave him doubts, instead of focusing on things that would help them with investigators. But that would be hypocritical, since Blaine had been spending his personal study time fawning over Song of Solomon and anything in scripture vaguely resembling a gay love story—not particularly useful for helping with investigators, either.

“Fine,” Blaine said defensively. “Maybe those passages really are racist. But that would still be a matter of men inserting their beliefs in place of God's teaching. Joseph Smith said that the Book of Mormon was the most correct book of any book on earth, not that it was perfect. And yes, Brigham Young was a racist and tons of our leaders have been racists. It was racism that kept the church from letting black members into the temple until 1978. And there are still people in the church like my granddad who lean on those false teachings, and people in the church who are well-meaning but insensitive, and maybe the leaders could do more to denounce teachings of the past.”

Blaine took a deep breath, gathering up the courage to prod back. “But I still don't understand why you think all these things make the church an unacceptable place for Mercedes. Because you’ve found a home here, despite all the terrible things the leaders have said about gay people, despite the cruel expectations they put on you. And I'm not saying you shouldn't be concerned about racism. What I don't understand is why the church’s racism is so bad that Mercedes shouldn't even be taking lessons with the missionaries, but the homophobia is so hunky-dory you can give your whole life to the church, no questions asked.”

Kurt stopped pacing. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. “That's different. Being gay is …” Kurt drifted off.

“A sin?” Blaine asked, even though it raised his bile just to speak the words. He didn't know if he was gay, but he knew what it was like to love another man. And it was the opposite of sin.

“No. Being gay isn't a sin.”

“But thinking gay thoughts is?”

Kurt shook his head. “I don't know. I don't think so.”

“Doing gay things?”

Kurt sank back into his chair and contemplated the surface of the table. “Maybe? I'm not sure. If you asked me a few weeks ago, I would've said ‘definitely.’ But if the church can be wrong about other things ... I don't know.”

“So,” Blaine said gently, “is it different at all?”

[llycaons]

throwing up this morning and needing to take the day off really was the tipping point...my friend sat down with me and very kindly reminded me that staying in my room all day isn't really self-care and maybe watching tv and reading fanfic to avoid dealing with my own self has not been the healthiest use of all of my time even tho I do love it its like candy to me. anyway I went to the gym for the first time in over a week and bought like three self-care journals because they all looked really helpful and I love having direction. expensive though, yikes

in an effort to fix my sleep schedule, exercise routine, diet, mindfulness, and socialization habits, I will try to be on here less often, but who knows how well that'll work. it's less that I've been unhappy and more that I've been very very drained and anxious, and reading through these wellness guides is enough to get me feeling much more in tune with myself and present in my heart. big changes may not be immediate or even possible, but I'm going to try because I really won't last at this rate and I'm feeling so much better already today. using tumblr as a spice to accentuate my day rather than all my entire activity for hours is much better. I even booked an appointment for a mixed martial arts class! I miss judo a lot, I hope this will be like that in atmosphere and content. and I'm looking forward to a massage at the new place!

cql rewatch is still going on but it may be even slower than before, and ough I do want to finish wothh but that can wait

I'm getting a little emotional writing this because I'm just realizing that I have a weak sense of self-care or self love. I've never had to deal with this much stress before and whatever I did before worked, but now I'm being asked to investigate myself and think about what I'm proud of and like about myself, and it's unfamiliar because I'm so used to downplaying my pain, ignoring myself, and turning aside compliments. thanks, mom! she really struggles with that, I shouldn't joke. but she'l say things like "of course I made that mistake, I'm so stupid" all the time and ignore her limitations and think of what example that gives to the kids! my sister and I are trying to model better self-care when we can but we've internalized it too and I'm so proud of my sister for working on herself. maybe she'll have some tips for me as I start, ha

anyway if you read this I love you and remember to take care of yourself in ways beyond laying in bed all day. tho in my defense there was REALLY nothing else I could have done last week. I was just shot

[littleladymab]

FebruarOC - Mateen

Introducing Special Agent Doctor Knight, AKA Mateen! I had the immense fortune to get to play in a little one-shot of Lacuna with some friends a few years ago and let me tell you that system is DELIGHTFUL. We were sent in to investigate what was happening on a station that had lost contact three weeks prior, and any approaching ship would lose power and be dead in space. Luckily the holodeck was still active so we got teleported into the station that way and took off from there! 

I don't remember much about the sessions I've forgotten where my notes are, but I do remember that Doctor Knight was fully prepared to stab somebody with a shard of a broken mirror. I also did get to pull the "I'm not a doctor" and the rest of the party went ".... wait what?" before admitting that she's got a doctorate in something not medical related, so she couldn't help with the medical issue. 

If you want to see what a character sheet from Lacuna looks like, it's over on my patreon! I sure was at max heart rate and still sitting pretty on 5 commendation points, but we were at 17 static so things were getting WEIRD.  

Since it was a one-shot there wasn't a lot of need or time to talk about what her backstory was so I simply didn't really have one (except she wasn't a medical doctor, she always insisted you call her Doctor Knight, and she had an impulsive anger problem). But I liked her character concept, and so I decided to throw her into HOWL! 

HOWL is a project I haven't really talked about at all, and unfortunately I decided to go with talking about Jocelyn Tabris instead of Jack from that project, but I'll probably talk a bit more about it on Penelope's post upcoming. HOWL is basically like, taking the Bastard arcs of FTL and certain things from Star Wars that I felt was greatly under utilized and combining them together into a not quite space opera. Mateen, as someone who was created for a game that took place in space, was a great fit for it. 

One of my favorite things to do when building a new character is get a sense of their personality via pinboard when I make it, and when I was making Mateen's I sort of came up with the story that she had lost someone she loved and then fully threw herself into her work as a result to try and find a way to save her. Who was that, how did she lose her? I don't actually know. 

Now she works for the Bad Guy, whom I've just decided to commit to naming Daniel (for now) because I've been using Daniel Dae Kim as a face claim this entire time and would always just refer to him as "Daniel Dae Kim" when writing anything about this. So picture her with vaguely mad scientist vibes, but the mad in this case is anger issues. 

Enjoy her pinboard! I look forward to one day talking about HOWL, it's pretty high up on my "want to write" projects :) 

Also just like, play lacuna! it's really fun!

[coldflash-corner]

Thank you @softboydepot for your tags!! I love these sm

#op please know i am pressed up against the glass LOOKING 👁️👁️#i fucking LOVE hearing world building takes #especially about soulmates!! or lack thereof!! #how does having a soulmate impact your legal standing? what if soulmates have the same fingerprints?#for the heartbeat thing- there's the obvious “i can kinda tell their emotions based on heart rate” thing #but consider - Len is older than Barry by at least a decade #what happens if or when Len has a heart attack? would Barry just be able to feel it or would he have one too?#imagine the agony of dating someone and they get hurt but you can't tell they're alive #because you're not soulmates #what about platonic soulmate pairs that work together? #snipers who match heart rates to sync up shots #thieves who can tell when one has been spotted or is near something good by the pounding in their chest #and then there's using your soulmate's heart against you #sending one person out of heart rhythm so they can figure out who reacts to it #can't really ignore vfib #SO many possibilities #please do not hesitate to share yours (considering i just word vomited in your tags) #I'm so 👀👀👀

I also kinda wanna answer some of these, if I can ^-^;; So I'm gonna go thru them

1- How does having a soulmate impact your legal standing?

I'm... not sure! I don't really understand the question, because I don't know what context "legal standing" is referring to. ^-^;; But I will say that in this world, if you're like, working in like, the police or something, you have to recuse yourself from any investigations/etc related to your soulmate if you know who they are. And also I am thinking that if you do go to the government and go "👉👈 We would like to register out soulmate bond with the Governments please" there are some extended rights regarding child custody and hospital visits, even if y'all aren't a married couple or even in a romantic relationship.

2- What if soulmates have the same fingerprints?

I think that is such a rare occurrence it's basically a non-situation for most of society, and usually only happens in cases of like, identical twins that are platonic soulmates. But I genuinely think "I met my soulmate bc we somehow had the same fingerprints and they committed a Crime that I got arrested for :/" is SUCH a funny idea and I would read the shit out of this

3- What happens if or when Len has a heart attack? would Barry just be able to feel it or would he have one too?

Personal talk, I would probably never write Snart or anyone having a heart attack I don't think bc of personal family things, so not a thing in my version of this AU.

General talk, they don't share a heart just hear the heartbeat (tho some people can also feel the pulsing in the vein on their neck, but that's rare), so he would feel the change and freak the fUCk out but he would not have a heart attack.

On the heartbeat topic tho, Snart DEFINITELY felt the change when Barry became a meta. Bc his heartbeat is so freaking fast naturally now. So let's just say his soulmate being a speedster was only not surprising, it was a lot less concerning than whatever he was trying to cook up as an explanation for what was happening pre-meta knowledge.

But I do think there are some myths and folklore abt a partner having a heart attack or their heart stopping bc their soulmate went thru that, so while it's not a thing that would actually happen, it's in a LOT of myths

4- What about platonic soulmate pairs that work together?

Okay I know this one was a lead in to talking about snipers and things, but I am using this as an opening to talk about platonic soulmate pairs.

Sibling soulmates are definitely common. They are very much seen in a platonic way, usually in a "the older was chosen by fate to look after the younger" way, and if they're twins it's like "even fate decided they should be by each other's side" kind of society thought process. And in school, you can sometimes switch classes to be with your sibling, instead of separated, if they are your soulmate.

Also it's seen as SUPER sweet for if two people with platonic soulmates get married, both of their "best person"/"person of honor" are their platonic soulmates

Also platonic soulmates walking their partners down the aisle at weddings

I am a big worldbuilding bitch. When I make soulmate AUs I have fully stopped thinking abt the main pairing, and have started working out the entire world and society and all of the soulmates every canon character I find compelling would have, or would not have, depending on the context of the AU and the character

So what I'm trying to say is that I started making a Coldflash AU where soulmates can hear each other's heartbeat and now I'm in a worldbuilding pit that I can't crawl out of

[jaesvelvet]

aim for it

SUMMARY ➤ you decided to bring your frenemies to investigate the murder of someone that unrelated to you

PAIRING ➤ archery! jay feat. bishop fem! reader

GENRES ➤ frenemies to lover, fluff at the end, action, betrayal, crime, violence

WORDS ➤ 14.3k words

WARNINGS ➤ profanity, murderer, alien attack, fight scene, kidnapping, death threats, mention daredevil once, absolutely make no sense at all, grammartical error, mention sunghoon twice, mention of weed once! and this fic is heavily inspired by hawkeye series on disney+

NOTES ➤ tysm to @seungstarss for the banner!! finally i got to use it and im so sorry for disappearing (,: i forgot my password (dumbassss)

The scene you witnessed when you were 10 years old sure gave a huge impact on you. Only seconds ago you talked with your mother about having a picnic with her and your dad and now you are standing in your room, with an accelerated heart rate you witnessing nonhumans attacking New York City. You are scared for sure, is this what the adults say 'the world is ending?'

For 10 years old, you are terrified by what your eyes witnessed. You are not scared of death but more of the foreign things you saw or the media would say, aliens. You never thought aliens could be this scary, the image you had of them was like green and blue— like monsters from the Monster Inc movie.

Your eyes widened as you saw an alien flying towards your room, you froze on the spot, you didn't run. Your mind went blank— but you are thankful for not running as there's another thing you witnessed. An arrow shot straight to the alien's body and exploded a second later which made you flinch, didn't expect it to blow.

As the aliens fall to the ground, you finally notice a male on the tall building with a bow with him. The way he notches an arrow and effortlessly fights those aliens using fire arrows mesmerizes you. A person could be a superhero without any cool weapons or superpower.

You saw him fight for a moment before you heard another explosion, it felt like you came back to the real world again. You ran from the terror-stricken scene, yelling for your mom and dad but to your dismay, none of them respond to your small voice.

At 10 years old, besides aliens, you are also afraid of losing both of your parents. Your breath is hitching as you are alone in the living room with chaotic surroundings, you can't do anything at this point, your young mind didn't think further enough to make a choice.

You keep yelling for your mom and dad, a shriek escaping from your lips as you could feel someone hug you from behind when you realized it's your mom. You cried. The relief you felt when you hugged your mom was overwhelming.

"Where's dad?"

"We'll find him later, now we need to save ourselves"

You did find him.

6 feet under.

At 10 years old, you never assumed to experience this kind of loss. Usually, parents will die when you grow up, right? You didn't expect your father to die so soon. The attack surely leaves a huge impact on you which is trauma. You lost your father due to the attack and you will not let your mother be the next one.

"Mom, I will protect you from now on"

Those words that came out from a 10 years old kid break your mom's heart. At this age, you don't need to have such responsibility but the death of your father makes you afraid that you will lose your mom because you are still young to do anything to keep her safe.

"Oh, sweetheart. You don't need to, I'm the one who needs to keep you safe. It's my job" your mom sobbed, pulling you into a hug.

You trust your mom but it's not enough to keep both of you safe. Besides the news said that the mighty heroes promised to fight those aliens if they come to earth again and keep all citizens safe. You are thankful and admire them but they are human like you, they might get rid of the aliens but some people were killed in the attack and we can't always depend on the 6 heroes.

That's the main reason why you decided to take up archery in the case of another threat. Throughout your middle and high school career, you went through high amounts of martial arts training, being able to gain many medals in several competitions.

Clint Barton has been your idol since you were 10. You are still fascinated by the fact he saved you with a stick and string. Your mom opens up a new company— a security company. Your life gets back on track again, your single mom affords to take care of you, you got a good grade on academics, and keep winning every competition you entered. Both of you are pleased with your current life despite one person missing in your life, you are delighted with your mom's successful job, you knew how she struggled and was depressed after your father's death but she keeps going to give you the life you deserve.

11 years passed, and now you are in your early 20s. You graduated from university with flying colors yet you didn't have a feeling about doing your internship since your mother signed your name to work under her company. As you develop to the age where you think you are mature enough to understand everything that goes on in your life, you grow distant from your mother.

Neither two of you didn't know where went wrong, and how did your lovey-dovey relationship escalate quickly. Maybe because your mom was too busy with her job and you got used to your own. Never once in your life have you embarked to address this matter with your mom since you started to feel awkward around her, you felt that little you would be so disappointed with how things turned nonetheless you can't blame anyone. Your mom is still keeping you safe (maybe a bit too much for your liking) and you are comfortable with how things are going around for now.

"Stay focused Bishop, you might lose to me again"

You turned your head to the owner of the voice, feeling a bit embarrassed by him caught you daydreaming. You clear your throat and nock an arrow, pull back the string— you close your left eye and right eye is aiming for the center, loosen the string and it hits the 10 points. For a normal person, they would cheer for you since it hits the center of the board, however it does not hit the pinhole, the exact center of the gold. You heard a snicker beside you, a sigh escaping from your mouth.

You hate losing.

Losing to him to be more exact.

You throw your bow to the side, feeling angry about losing to him for the third time today. It angered you so much how easily you lose focus on something stupid your mom said earlier this morning. It frustrated you that she still controls your life despite the fact that both of you don't have the mother-daughter bonding anymore.

"You lose again," he said, carefully placing his arrows in the quivers, he took a glance at you. Once again he snickered at you, he loves it when you lose knowing how frustrated you can be afterward.

You didn't reply to his teasing, you were not in the mood to have stupid fights with him. You only give him a death glare before you leave the training center.

"Y/N don't make a scene, wear the dress and please behave" your mom pleaded. This morning your mom told you that she is having a birthday party at some fancy hotel. That's not the worst part. The fact she invited everyone— her family, her boyfriend's family, and her colleague was so nice of her. But when you open your mouth to question your father's relatives.

She keeps her mouth shut, smoothly changing the topic about the dress you're gonna wear for tonight.

That is the starting point of the argument with your mom that morning. You can't believe how she could toss your dad's family after she got a stable career and a new boyfriend. They are still your family nevertheless.

Yet your mom stands by her choice, she will not invite your father's family, making your whole day sour.

"I don't see a point to go to your birthday party" your cold voice greets her yet she seems unbothered to your strike, it looks like she has encountered this numerous times.

"You have and you will go to my birthday party. I don't want people to make bad assumptions about our relationship" her answer makes you scoff. The audacity of her is unbelievable.

"Bad assumption? Mom their bad assumption of us is true—"

"Y/N, please. Or I need to cancel your card"

The question that you will never find the answer to was: why do you have to be jobless and still depend on your mom's money?

And here you are– standing at the fancy party in an awkward state. Instead of wearing a sparkling dress, your mom told you to, you wear a black suit like a typical girl that hates girly stuff. You admit your attitude was cliche but if it would make your mom go insane, you are willing to do it.

Maybe wearing a black suit it's not a good choice tonight. You look exactly like the waiters that serve wine to all guests. Awkwardly, you stand in the middle of the hall, eyeing your mom with her flirty boyfriend, Jack.

You bite your inner cheek, why does your mom have to be in a relationship with someone like him? To think about him, he's a good man, he's respectful and kind but something about him just seems off and you did not dig anything yet, so far. But you are 90% sure he is not a good man for your mom.

Well, even your relationship with your mom drew apart— yet you still care about her relationship with Jack. You dislike him in the first place when your mom introduces him at your family dinner. He looks like someone who has an evil plan to take the company and leave your mom alone.

"Excuse me, dear can I—"

"Sorry, I'm not a waitress" you quickly cut him off, an old man who looks like in his 80s approaches you, thinking you're a waitress there.

"You're a little Bishop girl" the old man exclaims. You were amused how he recognized you this quickly since all people who's on his age tend to have recollecting problems.

You give him a thin smile, not really wanting to have a conversation here. All you need is to get out of this hotel and be in your room. Blasting some of Avril Lavigne's songs from your Spotify.

"Armand. Armand Duquesne. Jack's bloodline" he introduced himself. Well, you're not in the mood for chattering but you are aware it's kinda rude to ignore people. So you just nod at him as a response.

"You know, it's unfair. I never looked that good in a tuxedo in my life." he started, giving you a mischievous smile. You still didn't say anything. You don't know who this man was and suddenly he was complimenting you. Social anxiety in you rises as he seems to not want to leave the scene just yet.

Your eyes wander to search for someone who you are familiar with but failed as he keeps talking to you.

"I'd appreciate it if you wear something a little more lady-like for the wedding, so we won't be competing."

Your head tilting to the side. You are certain that you are not misheard the words he just said seconds ago

"What wedding?"

"You don't know?" you shook your head. It's your mom's birthday party, right?

"It's Eleanor and Jack. Oh! Those secretive little love birds!" he chuckles while you have a hard time processing his words. Your mom is engaged? You know nothing about this.

Do you need to get upset? Well, to be fair you also didn't share anything with her anymore. You lick your sudden dry lips, no. You have the right to get upset. She should tell you at least! He's gonna be your stepfather and you have the right to know!

"Believe me, I've done everything in my power to talk him out of it. When he gets something set in that little mind of his, he can be quite determined." he continues, you could only mutter an 'Oh' to him as a response. Your gaze is clouding and you are already distant from reality.

Too much going on in a short period. How can she act as if nothing happened when she's engaged to the man you are still doubting for. You respectfully dismissed yourself and walked straight to your mom still laughing with her future husband.

"You're engaged?" You didn't hide the fact you were so disappointed with her, your tone was cold as ice.

"Oh, well, I guess the beans are out of the bag" she chuckles but your serious face looking at her makes her clear her throat. Realizing that both of you are gonna have some serious chat.

"Can we have a little moment?" your mother asked Jack which he gladly fine. He gives your mother a peck before leaving the both of you to have some discussion.

"Babe, I'm sorry, I'm sorry you found out this way" she uttered, softly caressing your cheek but you turn your head away, you are too mad at your mom right now. She pursed her lips together, she acknowledged that you are pissed off with her right now, so she gave you space.

"I don't know, Mom, this is just like...Fast" it's true. It is fast. Your mom and Jack have only known each other for like a year and you didn't know him at all! All those times you were on the campus while Jack moved into your house. Besides you still got a bad vibe from him, which makes you mad even more at your mom.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fast, yes. But, you know, it's kind of nice being swept up in the romance of it" she reassures you, looking you straight into your eyes.

When you didn't give any replies to her words, she would sigh. She realized this is her fault and she wanted to tell you first but at that time you were busy with the finals and all the competitions you entered so she didn't want to irritate you.

"Is there a part of you that could be happy for me?" you're taken aback by her question. Sure, she sacrifices almost everything to get where you are now, you knew she cried all night because of the hard path she went through alone and the reason why she doesn't want to invite your father's family because she is getting married to someone else.

You took a glance at her, she was still looking at you with doe eyes. Hoping that you will accept her choice on this matter. Although you grew distant from her, she is still your mom no matter what.

"Yes, mom. Of course"

You could see her relieved smile as you uttered those words to her. She takes a step, to hug you but you quickly step back from her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you first. I'm sorry" she said

"I'm going to get some air, Mom" you need to have a moment alone to let the marriage thing sink into your mind. Your mom seems to understand and let you go to get fresh air from the outside.

You go down to the lobby of the hotel, leaving the main entrance, and now you are on the side road. The road seems packed with too many cars on the road due to weekend nights.

You exhale your breath slowly, your mom remarries some suspicious guy that seems to want your mom's assets. Maybe you let it pass this time? Maybe your instinct is wrong. Maybe he is a good man for your mom? You still can get to know him from family dinners.

If anything goes south, you will make sure you're the one who saves your mom from all the chaos.

You re-entered the lobby, with a heavy heart you went to the party. If your mom is so serious about this then maybe it's the best for her.

"I'm gonna get this sword no matter what!" your track stops as you hear Jack's voice in the hallway. You hide behind the wall and peek to look at him. You frown seeing him with Armand, they seem unfriendly despite sharing the last family name.

"You know nothing about this sword, Jack! Stop dreaming!" he scolded. You look at the sword on their side. It was a Ronin Katana. A long sharp colored black sword was used by the mighty Ronin. A criminal who disappears after the snap, the police are still looking for him but there's no trace of him at all.

"I am and I will get the sword!"

"Well, you are one second late because I am willing to pay half million for it, '' Armand bragged, handing his cheque to the seller. A smirk formed on his lips as he watched Jack's irk's face. He then patted Jack's shoulder and left the hallway, going straight back to the party.

You quickly run to the party, the last thing you want to experience was to get caught by Armand that you've been eavesdropping on them.

You act like nothing happened when you saw Armand enter the party then Jack following a moment later. What is so special about the Ronin swords they are talking about? If it's a criminal sword, didn't they just involve themselves in a black market?

You try not to think much about it. You know Jack is a huge fan of fencing. Maybe he is interested in Ronin's sword since your home now is filled with his sword collection.

You reassure yourself, nothing bad is gonna happen.

As it's on cue, the light went off making the halls all black in a matter of seconds. All guests were screaming, shocked by the sudden power-off of electricity. You curse under your breath, you knew something was off. For sure someone planned this.

You screamed for your mom's name, you got a feeling that both Armand and Jack have bad intentions and you want your mom to stay out of all the chaos.

"Yes Y/N, stay calm, the light will be on soon!" she screamed back, you know she only says that to reassure you and it works since you know she is safe in the darkness. A couple of minutes later the lights flicker. Your squint as your retina adjusts to the sudden brightness.

"Oh, God..."

You gasp as you see Armand's body on the floor. The white marble floor tiles are now filled with the crimson red blood of Armand. His eyes were wide open and the blood kept coming out from his abdomen.

You swore your knees are getting weak and the scene was too traumatized for you. It looks like he's been stabbed, your eyes naturally land on Jack's. He seemed too relaxed for witnessing his cousin's murder.

Well, now you have a point to make your mother break off the engagement before it was too late.

The police confirm it was a murderer and he's been stabbed while the power suddenly went off. All of his relatives were crying, sobbing on the floor seeing Armand's body being carried by the paramedics. Your mother also burst into tears, the day that was supposed to be happy for her turned into a nightmare as a murderer happened. The police started to investigate one by one guests that were invited to the party, you are no exception. You gave the police the truth answer— you went out to get fresh air after the heated arguments with your mom.

As you're done with the investigation, you saw Jack being dragged by the police to get his alibi in a private room. You don't want to miss a thing, so you follow them behind their back, making sure you're not seen by anybody, you act naturally, or else someone is gonna pick you as a suspect.

"You may start your alibi now"

"I was with him, the seconds before he dies"

Your eyes turn bigger hearing his confession. what is in his head?

"But we just passed by, I saw him on my way to the toilet in the hallway. We chatted a bit and that's all. The next thing I knew, things went all dark and suddenly Armand's body was on the floor" Jack said, pursing his lips together, the way that he saw Armand's dead body was quite disturbing.

You didn't hear the next thing, you sneaked out of the private room, your chest felt so tight and it was so hard to breathe. The brand new information you got was so unexpected. Why did Jack lie about his alibi? Is he the one who murdered Armand? Seeing Jack being lovey-dovey with your mother scared you, he must have already planned everything. Who knows, maybe your mom will be his next victim.

Hours later, the police were done with their investigation and all guests were sent home. The three of you didn't say anything, letting the pop music blast in the car. Your mom was still shocked about Armand's death while you were so busy thinking about Jack who seems too calm.

"Baby, I know you are shocked. Go get rest, I'm gonna make you some hot tea" Jack offered, rubbing softly your mom's shoulder making you frown.

Ugh, he's act killing you inside.

Your mom nods her head, weakly she goes upstairs, straight to her room while you stand in the middle of the kitchen, observing every little thing he does, you have a trust issue with him now. He could put poison on your mom's drink.

"Y/N, what's wrong dear? You want tea too?" he asked, grinning as he saw you not moving any inches at all. Thinking you finally open up to him to accept him as your stepfather.

"No. I don't want anything"

"Uh, sure! Oh, by the way. You could put your archery equipment in the trunk of my car, I will send you to class tomorrow, uh you know your mom is still in shock, let her rest for a day" he said

"You really care for my mom, right Jack?" you raise one brow to him. He may look innocent to everyone else but not to you. You just need proof that he killed Armand and everything would go back on track again. You just need to dig a little bit.

"Of course Y/N. I really adore her" he said while giggling, he gave you a wink before going upstairs, serving his hot tea to your mom. You scoff, if you could stab his eye using your arrow, you will do it without hesitation. Lazily, you grabbed your archery equipment, you need to go to class no matter what.

The cold air slaps you, giving your body a little shiver. Tonight's weather seems a little colder than usual, you look up to the sky. You pray for Armand's soul. You don't know him besides his name, but he deserves better and you swore to the sky that you will catch the criminal no matter what.

The moment you open the trunk, you froze, your equipment fell to the ground and you peered intently at the things you saw in Jack's car trunk.

"Holy shit..." covering your widened gasp with your hands. This is not a dream, right?

Your eyes are not playing with you, right?

You just saw the Ronin Katana inside Jack's trunk. The Ronin Katana he is dying to wish for. You are not sure what you should do right now. Scream for help? Kill Jack using your sharp arrow? Or call the police?

Your mind went hazed for a moment. You put your equipment on the back seat instead. You slowly close the trunk and step away from Jack's branded car. Today was a very hectic and hard day for you.

Maybe tomorrow you will figure it out, your head starting to feel pain. It was too much for you. For now, you let 101 unanswered questions in your mind remain unanswered.

"You lost again Bishop," he said in a mockery tone. Honestly, he thought you're gonna beat his ass today but like yesterday, you seem off and he never saw you in this state. To say he is worried about you is far away from that. He just wonders why you're not like yourself, the competitive Bishop and the one who always teases him every time he loses with her.

"Are you dying or something?" he asked and almost earned a slap from you but you stop midway because you might die in Jack's hand if you're not careful around him. He may kill you and your mom at once.

"If I'm dying you will not live stream my funeral right?" you asked

"Well, it depends if you die due to natural cases it will be boring to live stream"

"You right," you said, putting your arrows in the quivers. Sitting on the nearest bench, your life is on a string and you need to perform your plan immediately before Jack does.

"I hope you die in a funny way I need to increase my followers you know"

"Fuck you, Jay"

His identity is no more secretive at all, the man you hate losing with was Jay. Park Jay, was born in Seattle and moved to New York when he was 12. Since then, you knew him from archery class. Despite both of you being the ace in the class, you and Jay didn't click at all because of the high competitive behavior, the two of you are desperate to beat each other's high scores.

Jay didn't say anything and left you alone in the training center. You shut your eyes tightly, where do you should start your investigation? You can just ask Jack why Ronin's sword is in his trunk, it will immediately get you killed.

You open your eyes slowly, blinking at the sight of the small security camera on the ceiling. An idea popped into your mind.

The hotel CCTV!

You threw your backpack to the side of the fence wall of your house and climbed it carefully, making sure neither your mom nor Jack caught you. As you land on the floor, you squint as you see an unfamiliar car parked in front of your garage. At this point, you are 100% sure if you turn your phone on, there could be thousands of missed calls and texts from your mom but you couldn't care less. Your mission went wrong when the security stopped you since the hotel now is a prohibited area for citizens.

Nothing went on your way today causing major stress to attack you but you still have a little hope. If you ask anyone who knows you, Bishop never gives up. You want to pinpoint Ronin's sword, what's so special about the criminal sword that Jack and Armand ache for?

You made your way to your mom's office, you learned that Jack loved to place his belongings in your mom's office, entering the cold big room and making you goosebumps. It feels like you are on a secret mission with Hawkeye.

Well, technically you are in a secret mission only minus Hawkeye. There's a time when you have a thought, what would happen if you have a superpower? Like being a God of thunder? Or injected with a super serum making your life for like 100 years like Captain America? Your mom would be against all of this but having Hawkeye as your co-worker is really dope.

You always imagine how it would be so extraordinary to meet Hawkeye only for a second. You want to thank him for being your inspiration and saving her during the Alien Invasion 11 years ago. Is he aware that there are too many people who are grateful for the Avengers? However, Sokovia Accords break the Avengers apart and since then, many people despise the earth's mighty heroes although they have already sacrificed everything for world peace.

Your mom always told you to not be a hero, don't ever think about it, saying 'I know that young people think they're invincible and rich people think they're invincible. And you have always been both. You're not. You'll get hurt. Don't go out looking for it'

You never understood her words until now. What's wrong with helping people? And right now you are helping her from dying without her knowing. She should be thankful one day!

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Shit" you never flinch so hard in your entire life, maybe it's because the nerve makes you look like a scaredy-cat. You turn your body around, and a sigh of relief left from your lips after knowing the person that caught you was Jay.

"I'm not doing any— I should be the one who asked you, What are you doing in my house? Lurking in the hallway?" Placing your hands on both of your hips with one brow-raising.

"Your family invites my family for dinner and I'm not lurking! I just got back from the toilet and heard something from this room" he said, looking straight into your eyes with his usual cocky expression.

"Help me, find Jack's car key," you asked him, there's no point in arguing with him right now. You need Jack's car key to research the sword.

"So polite of you"

"If you help me, I swear next time we have dinner I will brag on how you are way better than me in archery"

"Here you go"

"Dude? What the fuck? Where did you find it?" you gasped, you've been in your mom's office for about 35 minutes and there's no Jack's belonging here.

"On the sword table" now the key is in your hand. You smirk, maybe today wasn't that bad.

"Follow me!" you grabbed his forearm and brought him to the back door, which is in your kitchen. You pressed the button on the car key causing the car to beep.

You throw the keys to Jay, luckily he has fast reflexes and catches the key easily while giving you an unamused look. You told him to drive since you failed your driver's license twice.

It's ironic when you can do almost anything but fail a driving test because you can't parallel park.

"Where to go?" Jay asked, and the question came out naturally from his lips. You didn't expect him to ask a question like that. Knowing Jay, he will bombard you with some annoying statement or question until you explode— by 'exploding' to catch him with your sharp arrow in your hand.

"I don't know, just drive to some uncrowded place" you answered, fastening your seat belt. You can't wait to explore the sharp swords, who knows maybe it will be a little clue for your secret mission.

As Jay turns the steering to the left to park Jack's old branded car at an empty parking spot which is a bit unnerving for both of you. Truth to be told, the two of you may look like young teenagers who aren't afraid of dying but can piss in your pants at the word 'ghost'.

"Where are we?" you wondered, the place Jay brings you might be frightening but it's so quiet and empty— it's so calming to be far away from the crowded and noisy city. You might come here again to clear your thoughts.

"My secret place" Jay and you get out of the car and start in the night sky. It's been a long time since you looked up to the sky. The sky remains beautiful just like the last time you watch the night sky with your dad.

You wondered if your dad watching you from above, watching every little move you make and all the trouble you do that makes your mom's migraine worsen? If he is alive, will he be proud of you? Or will he react the same as your mom?

Too many unanswered questions when it comes to your dad. You vividly remember his presence and his embrace. You start to forget his voice and his face. It aches you when you need to remember his face through a family photo in your room.

You always hope that your dad is still alive, maybe your mom wouldn't meet Jack and all of this wouldn't happen. Unnoticed by you, Jay has been staring at you for a moment now, his eyes didn't even blink for once– too mesmerized by your glowing face under the moonlight.

Since when have you become too pleasing to look at?

It was a bolt from the blue that his heart suddenly thumped so quickly. He never felt this feeling before, is looking at you making his life span shorter? Is he dying?

He turned his face away from you when he felt his cheeks a bit hot. Surely it will turn light pink as a result.

On the other hand, you make your way toward the trunk, carefully open the trunk and bring out the scabbard of the sword.

Jay immediately stands next to you, frowning to see a sword in your hand.

"Did you take a sword class?" he asked, his finger stroking the leather skin of the scabbard, he had never seen a real sword in his entire life.

"This is Jack's. He uses this to murder his cousin"

"Pft! Don't tell me this is your like origin superhero story" he derided at your words. It got him rethinking the feeling he felt for you just now. Heart thumping? Nah, there's no way he is fond of someone delusional as you. Perhaps he is too tired to the point he starts thinking something unbelievable.

"What an ass you are, Park" you roll your eyes at him, suddenly you regret asking him for help.

"No, because how do you confirm he killed his cousin? You know this is a serious matter Bishop" the dignified tone in his voice made you gulp your saliva. Jay never shows his serious side and you made a mental note to not make him turn on his serious mode on you. It's unpleasant to encounter him in this state.

You find yourself opening up to him, sharing your experience from the moment you step into the hotel to the night he caught you in your mom's office. Jay on the other side was stunned at your story, now he started to wonder— how much was worth this criminal's sword?

"So, what's your next plan?"

"I have no idea" your plain answer drives him crazy. You take part in this dangerous mission that could kill you and you didn't have a plan?

"I can't wait to attend your funeral"

"Make sure you make me look like an awesome person! Or I'll haunt you every night"

"Now let's open it, shall we?" you continue, your face lights up as you look at the scabbard a bit closer, the syllables that are carved in Hiragana are so neat, as it is custom made by a professional, which brings another question to your mind

'Why did he need to carve something on his scabbard?'

"Jay, do you know what was written on this?" you asked, knowing he is an anime fan (you caught him simping over Rei Ayanami once at the training center and he never heard the end of it), and surprisingly he is good at reading and speaking in Japanese.

"Um, it says 'I am my Demon'??"

"What? That's some corny shit" you laughed as you slid the gleaming sword out of its scabbard.

"One slice and you wake up in Heaven" Jay whispered, fingers landing on the sword to touch the steel. He can't believe how many people had died because of this one sharp metal.

"Agreed"

"Oi!"

Both of you and Jay look up to the foreign accent voice, eyes widened at the sight of a bunch of Russian guys standing in front of you and Jay while holding guns and bats.

"Give us the sword and no one hurt"

Ah, the typical words that come out from the villain's mouth making you smirk, Jay was wrong. Obviously, this is your origin superhero story that you will share with the world in the future.

"Mister, I am no fool" you argued, throwing the sword back to the trunk.

"And I am not showing sympathy" he raises his gun to shoot at you, luckily both of you quickly dodged the bullet.

"Shit" Jay cursed, he took out the sword from the trunk and swing the sword at the big guy

But who are we kidding here? An archery boy with a sword?

Easily, the big guy dodges Jay's attack and punches him straight to the face resulting in him bleeding on his lips. His vision was blurry, the punch was strong coming from his big fist. Jay felt his sense of balance slowly losing due to one punch he received.

From the side of your eyes, you could see how Jay fell to the ground. You mentally scoff at him— how can he be great in archery but not in fighting?

But you quickly realized, they are too many and you only have Jay— that didn't know how to fight. Without any second thought, you grabbed his forearm and got into the car.

"Just drive anywhere!" you yelled, hoping that none of them would shoot Jack's car window. If your alter ego is a real person, she would scream and yell right through your face to run away. You are not the type of person that would give up on anything. Alas, you acknowledge that you are with Jay, a stranger in this foreign world. There's nothing you can do than run away or else this would be the last time Jay breathes in this world.

Jay swore he finally felt his blood running back into his body while he whined as he realized they managed to take the sword with them. You failed to protect the sword— how are you gonna take care of your mother?

The sword was the only thing you can use against Jack. There's another thing you wondered, how the hell did those Russian guys know where you were? Did Jack secretly track you?

"Can't believe I almost died because of you" you turn your head towards Jay, the dried blood on his lips could be seen from afar. Guilty filled you, you shouldn't involve him in the suicide mission— that's the number one rule of becoming a superhero.

"We need to find the sword" was the only thing you said. There's no 'sorry' left on your lips. You felt sorry for him, but your mind is too focused on getting the sword back.

"Are you fucking out of mind? We almost got killed!" he screams right to your face. You never like it when someone raises their voice to you and you suddenly feel defensive and snap back at him

"Stop being fucking selfish for once and help me, Jay!"

He scoffed at your words and that's when you realized— who is he to help your family? Why did you seek help for him in the first place? You are frustrated by hitting your head with your hands. Your mind couldn't even process how to find a way to bring the sword back to you.

Should you order two coffins now? For you and your mom?

And did Jay will do a live stream on your funeral day?

Well, you only could hope that you look good, dying.

The sunny and clear weather in the morning seems gloomy to you. It felt like a nightmare that the sword had been stolen under your care. If you failed to protect the sharp metal then how are you gonna keep your mom alive? You didn't get enough sleep last night, thinking about everything that had been going on in a short period.

Who do the Russian guys work with? Why are they also after the sword? Too many unanswered questions wander in your mind and make you more eager to investigate the case except you have no starting point.

"Good morning, Y/N!" you roll your eyes hearing Jack's sweet voice (to you it's the most annoying tone ever) greet you the first thing in the morning. How do you wish you have Thor's superpower right now and smash him using Mjölnir or attack him with thunder—

"Woah, what's the attitude, young lady? You sneak out with Jay using Jack's car. Where are your sorry?" your mom asked, both of her hands on the hips. A typical pose for the angry mode you guess.

"Geez let them be. It's young love, you can't stop it" Jack defended you.

"We're not in love or whatever! He's such an ass and I could easily beat him in archery!" you spat, feeling annoying because first) you loath Jay. Second) Why is Jack suddenly defending you? And third) it's not a 'good' morning for you.

Jack giggles hearing you respond, maybe he finds his soon-to-be stepdaughter a fool teenager that is in love.

"They never admit it" he added

"Oh my God! I'm out" that's the last thing you said before leaving the house.

"As expected. I win" Jay smirks seeing your frowning face. Ah, what a good morning for him.

"Didn't get enough sleep last night" you place your arrows back into the quiver. Why must the coach pair both of you for today's training?

"Whatever makes you sleep, Bishop" you and Jay make your way to the exit, as the training hours have already ended. The silence hit as both of you were waiting in front of the main gate of the training center without mocking each other as usual.

"I'm sorry" you broke the silence

"Took you long enough"

"I was so overwhelmed when they got the sword and I realized I said things I shouldn't... You shouldn't involve in this suicide mission" you said, briefly looking at him. For the first time, you felt uncomfortable making eye contact with Park Jay.

"Why don't you just report it to the police?"

"It's complicated!"

"What's—"

Someone parked their minivan right in front of you two, making Jay stop in the mid-sentence since the black minivan is foreign to him and Y/N too, looking at her clueless reaction.

As the vehicle's door opened and revealed those Russian guys you fought last night enough to make you and Jay panic. Are they here to kill you and Jay? You hope not.

Mindlessly, you push Jay out of the scene, wanting to deal with this alone and you stand by your words earlier he shouldn't involve in this suicide mission. But those trained Russian guys were so much faster than you, they easily caught the two of you within seconds. Your eyes felt heavy and your head light-headed as they put a dirty handkerchief on your nose, giving you the strong smell of alcohol that slowly took your concussion away.

Jay. Was the only thing you thought before completely blacking out.

"JAY!"

Your eyes scan the huge basement that trapped you. It is full of harmful weapons and smells awful too.

"I'm right beside you, Y/N" he glared at your now relieved face. Well, at least you know he is safe (for now)

"Bastard! Let him go! He doesn't know anything!" you scream but no one pays attention to you. You keep screaming and screaming until one of them throws a baseball that landed right on your forehead, making you wince in pain.

"Hey! Don't use violence on her!" Now it's Jay's turn to yell after a moment he keeps his mouth shut. The big guy— he seems like the leader here grabs a chair and takes a seat in front of the two of you. Eyes keep changing direction to you and Jay. He keeps doing that until you and Jay grew uncomfortable at his stare.

"What are you? Couple?" he asked with his thick Russian accent

"No way!"

"Hell no!"

The big guy raised an eyebrow at the answer, well honestly he was hoping for some cheap romantic drama between the two of you.

"Uh okay. Let's get this straight. How the hell do you get the sword?" he asked, looking straight into your eyes rather than into Jay's.

"It's on—"

"We won't" you cut Jay off, there's no way you would let them know the truth, or else they will harm your mom. Jay looks at you, in disbelief. Why did you be so stubborn while your life was on the thin line?

"You don't wanna tell? You know once I pull this trigger and your head will blow in a second right?" you didn't give him the reaction that he expected, you look at him straight in the eyes showing that his threat means nothing to you. However, if he observes you well, he would notice your uneven breath and trembling hands. You were scared but you need to fight the feelings. They can't easily get the information they want with a single threat. You are not that weak.

"I will ask for the last time. How the hell did you get the sword?"

"I won't tell"

"You fuck—Ugh" your eyes widen at the sudden attack by... Jay?! How did he escape? And since when he becomes so strong, fighting with three men alone?

Jay runs towards the table in the middle of the basement where the quivers were placed, but the big guy also runs towards Jay on the opposite, he lifts his big fist, keen to punch Jay. Nevertheless, Jay was more advanced than him, with the taekwondo skill he learned (you thought he was joking about having a black belt in taekwondo) he jumped and did a flying back kick, and his Prada boots successfully landed on the big guy's cheek.

Jay smirks seeing the guy stumble with his kick, he didn't waste any time and runs to the table to take his quivers. On the other side, you can't even believe what's going on— Jay's fighting was shocking news for you. Did he hide his superiority to make your jaw drop open?

"Jay! Help me" you yelled but your loud voice echoes in the basement and gets ignored by Jay. Resulting in a burning fire flame inside of you. The fact that no one in the basement pays attention to you makes you mad. You should be the one who fights all of these old guys! Not Jay. It feels like you are a huge statue that no one pays attention to.

Your pupils are fast to catch up on what's going on in the basement, whenever someone's tried to attack Jay from behind you yelled to him while trying to untie yourself.

Your wrists are getting painful every time you twist your hand to release yourself. You tried to endure the pain but it didn't help when your wrist started to bleed.

"Ouch" you wince, you don't even think to give up right now since Jay might need your help.

You shriek as you feel the rope around your wrist getting loose. You turn your back to check on your wrist just to discover Jay's arrow on the floor. Before you could mutter any words or throw at least one punch at one of them, Jay quickly grabbed your wrist (but not so hard since he noticed the blood on your wrist) to get out of the basement.

"What are we gonna do now?" you asked

Your question was replied to by his action when he casually took out the car key from his pocket and unlocked a random car. He did not think much when he took the key while fighting. Escape was the only thing he had on his mind.

"Oh wow, badass" you tease

"Shut up" Jay starts the engine, his left foot pressed on the pedal, driving away from the weird and stinky group of guys. He definitely would pour all the shower gel once he gets home.

You weren't surprised to see two minivans chasing you from behind while aiming to shoot the car you and Jay are in. They hold a massive grudge against both of you since they are so brave to make a scene in public.

You peek at Jay, who focuses on driving away from the minivans, and you didn't want to be useless this time, this is the time you can prove to everyone that you can be a hero. Much more terrific than Jay.

Luckily Jay grab your quivers, your hand shakily took out one of your arrows, move to the backseat, and after getting your breathing stable, you release your arrow to the front window screen— thanks to the broken rear window they made from shooting your car earlier, you can easily attack them with your arrow.

The arrow you released let out a purple slime and fully spread on the front window screen to the point it covers their sight while driving, causing them to hit the utility pole.

"That's my baby" you whispered and kissed your quivers while Jay furrowed his eyebrow, looking at you through the rearview mirror.

"What the fuck?" is only he can utter now. He can't stay calm since there's one more vehicle chasing them.

You took another arrow, this time you aimed it higher. You didn't release it until the car you and Jay were in passed the traffic light. You calmly release the arrow and it hits the top of the traffic light. If anyone is walking near the traffic light, surely they will smell the burning scent that comes from your arrow.

It took some time for the acid in your arrow to melt the metal and your calculation is correct. As the van arrived at the traffic light, it fell on the top of the roof of their vehicle. The driver pressed on the break, realizing they were losing, and you and Jay got away once again under their supervision.

"Yay, we won!" you exclaim, moving back to the front seat to high-five Jay. This feeling you always dream of, it felt like you were just shooting an action movie with no CGI or double stunt. It dreams come true which was weird for a person who just got kidnapped by a bunch of dangerous guys a moment ago. Jay stops the car at a place where none of both of you know where it was. It is better for you to not use this car as that guy can track this car and kidnap both of you again.

"We're taking a cab," Jay said. You nod, your body felt sore from the action you pulled earlier.

As you arrive at Jay's apartment— you only assume it was his apartment since you heard Jay's parents whining that he rarely stays in their home anymore.

You followed him like a puppy, you could sense he is mentally frustrated right now with his jaw clenching and his usually soft eyes turning to sharp ones. Well, you don't blame him. He didn't do shit and still gets involved in your mess.

"I'm sorry" you apologized. He must think of 101 ways to kill you right now.

"I'm not reporting for your own sake. If I get involved one more time, I do not hesitate to call the FBI" Jay was fumed. He doesn't get why you are so stubborn to accomplish this mission alone. Do you think you have some of the Avengers' superpower levels?

You didn't reply to his words, unnoticed by Jay your eyes are too busy mesmerizing his apartment. You didn't pay attention to him as your body entered the luxury apartment. You were amazed at how tidy his apartment was unlike your room.

Jay moves to the kitchen, offering you a glass of water. Fighting against criminals was indeed tiring. How the hell do the Avengers manage to fight those brutal aliens?

"Now. Explain your weird arrow to me. I think I have the right to know about it" his black eyes glued to you while taking a sip of water.

"Easy. Hawkeye survives with this kind of arrows. But I don't have Stark Technology to make it more powerful so I just DIY all of the arrows"

Jay chuckles hearing your explanation. Your obsession with Hawkeye is no joke.

"You wait for this moment to happen? Where you get attacked and..."

"Is it weird if I say yes?"

"Well, it's not weird if it's come from you. I think I won't be surprised if you come to me and say you have a superpower. Your dedication is on another level"

His words come out sarcastically but you're too caught in the moment by his words, no one ever says something nice to you when it comes to your dream to become a part of Avengers. Unnoticed by both of you, a small smile formed on your lips, feeling slightly happy when he didn't judge your fantasies.

"Can't lie, you amazed me earlier" you said

"I just want to save me"

Ah, here we go again.

"I'm hungry" your hands land on your stomach, you didn't get to eat your breakfast because of stupid Jack's appearance that ruined your morning, then you get kidnapped because of stupid Jack's sword. He is a curse in your family which you're gonna get rid of soon.

"Starve yourself then, I'm going to sleep" Jay glared at you. You grabbed his wrist, looking at his cocky face with your doe eyes.

"Cook for me, please... I heard you're an amazing cooker"

"Says Who?"

"Your mom always bragged about it every time we had dinner!" Jay sighs, all he needs right now is sleep after a traumatizing experience, not babysitting his arch-enemy. With heavy steps, he enters the kitchen, searching for anything he can cook for you. You take a seat at the countertop and your eyes never leave him. Such a pleasant view to see male cooking in the kitchen.

You watch how he smoothly cuts all the vegetables and the way his lips pout as he focuses on something, you realize for the second time, he is good-looking. His sharp jaw, broad shoulders, and fair hand— how is he completely bitchless by now?

Did the cooking make him insanely attractive? Your heart starts beating as he rolls up his sleeve to check the oil temperature using his palm. He is the view that you are willing to see every time you open your eyes in the morning.

"For someone who just got kidnapped, smiling like a maniac. I am more than ready to call the psychiatrist."

Everytime you admire him, you forget he is the most annoying person you have ever encountered. Maybe this is a post-traumatic experience where you found Jay attractive when he is not. (you are lowkey working so hard on denying this)

You didn't have any savage comeback for his words, so you just continued staring at his fair hands cooking your meal. The marimba sound echoed through the kitchen making both of you flinch as the apartment was only covered by a sizzling sound from the stove.

You glance at your cell phone, and a sigh escapes from your lips seeing your mom's name displayed on the screen. Lazily you pressed the green icon, putting your mom on the speaker.

"Y/N Bishop! I'm worried sick about you! Where have you been? Did you seek trouble again?" you shut your eyes immediately after hearing her yells, all you need right now is peace and a full stomach, not getting yelled at by your mom.

She would faint if you said you just got back from being kidnapped by one of Jack's gang.

"Relax mom. I'm at my friend's house" you calmly answered, take a peek at Jay that is still busy stirring something in the pan. You could hear your mom mutter something like 'She's fine'. Maybe she was talking to Jack, who may curse under his breath right now because of his failed plan of killing you and Jay.

"Sweetie, please next time tell me anything. I couldn't get any information from you" you almost burst a laugh hearing your mom's remark. If she can't trace you then what's the point of establishing a security company?

"Mom, I'm not going anywhere! Don't worry about me, go to sleep" you ended the call. Your mom has been so obsessed with your safety since the day the aliens attacked earth. Although you reassured her you can take care of yourself, she still hired some unknown men to take care of you from afar. (and you knew her plan so you threatened every one of them with your DIY trick arrows)

"Food is ready, ma'am" Jay put three plates in front of you, he smirked as he saw you almost drool seeing his cooking.

"I don't want you to die yet, that's why I cooked three meals for you," he said making you playfully glare at him, but his sarcastic comment is the least important thing to you right now, you need to fill your stomach with delicious food as soon as possible or you're gonna die because of starving.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know they went this far" you muttered, after taking a spoonful of fried rice which instantly became your favorite.

"I swear to God if I get involved one more time I will ask for a restraining order" his tone sounds serious, you slowly chew on your food. If you continue your plan, will the innocent one get killed? The villains are ruthless, they didn't have any sympathy.

"Clean the dishes and you may sleep in my room, I will prepare spare clothes on the bed" was the last thing Jay said before leaving you alone in the kitchen.

Jay noticed you deep in your thoughts. He is mad, not because you keep getting him involved but because of your stubbornness. Ever since the Russian gang attacked both of you that night, he has been scared for your life. Jay knew you so well, he knew you were so determined to achieve something and he always worried if you're gonna get hurt as you are the type to not think carefully before doing anything.

And right now, his nightmare came true with Jack's sword case. Both of you have known each other for a long time and it would be a complete lie if he didn't care about you even for a tiny bit.

He hopes you will back off from this suicidal mission before it gets too late.

The next morning, you left Jay's apartment after making sure everything was clean and placed a small sticky note on his fridge, thanking him for letting you stay the night.

Walking through New York City at 8 in the morning felt very different to you. All of sudden you felt very productive like every college student Youtubers doing a vlog of their day.

The cold breeze slaps against your cheeks and you feel calm like the chaos you encountered yesterday was only a dream. Maybe this is why your mom urges you to wake up early every day.

Stopping your track as the pedestrian traffic light turns red. You lightly tapped your feet while waiting for the lights to turn green. You didn't get any sleep last night, rethinking your decision to continue to hunt Jack. You realized you are alone, no Stark Technology or superpower could protect you from those Russian gangs. One bullet in your head and that's it. Maybe you should have a slow talk with your mom about this.

"Mom?" you saw your mom stop in front of you, she seems worried to the point she didn't even notice your presence beside her car. You immediately hail a taxi behind your mom's car, telling the old man to follow her.

Your mom's car is parked in front of Fisk Tower. You pay for the taxi and quickly follow your mom entering the huge building.

You scan the lobby, you never heard any Fisk from your mom and you never know this huge building in New York? Did you spend so much time training? And fighting with Jay?

You remembered the spy bug you made last month with one of your engineering friends, he thought you are an Avenger so he was willing to help you to become your sidekick (you lied to him so you can use him to learn how to make Hawkeye's arrow)

You took out the spy bug from your bag and placed it on your mom's coat by accidentally bumping into her. After mouthing a sorry, you quickly search for a place to sit and wear your special wireless earphone that connects to the spy bug to hear your mom's conversation.

If this is another business thing you just gonna straight go home but there's no zero possibility that this gonna lead to something new or Jack's sword case.

Yeah, you completely forgot your plan to 'talk with your mom about Jack's after you found her rushing to get here and you followed her by a cab, literally felt like one of the Avenger's missions.

"The sword? How was it?" you heard your mom ask as soon as the door behind her closed. You cupped your mouth. Did she know?

"Yeah, it's fine. However, we got two teenagers that think they are earth's mighty heroes and ruined everything. They are a threat to us!" the male said angrily, you purse your lips tightly at the mention of you and Jay.

"Okay, whatever, when are you gonna kill Jack?"

"Patient woman, we just killed Armand!" the male yelled, and banged the table.

The next sound faded away as you slowly took out the wireless earphone from your ears. Your eyes become glossy and your face becomes hot as you try to process the word your mom said.

When are you gonna kill Jack?

Did she plan everything from the start? Was she the one who paid a mob to kill Armand? And the sword? Is that all her plan?

You quickly ran to the main entrance, and hailed a taxi to go back to Jay's place.

"Jay! Open the door please!" you banged Jay's door which he opened within seconds with his messy hair and furrowed eyebrows.

"Y/N what the fu—"

"Jay" you called his name and pushed him inside the house, after making sure the door was locked, you looked at the person who stood in front of you, in a confused state.

"Jay..." you called his name again, but this time your tone went down and became softer, you blinked and tears streamed down on your face.

"You've got to run, they're gonna kill us" you try to speak between the sobs, you cry so hard to the point your chest feels heavy.

"What the fuck did you do this time?" Jay groused, he fully awal by now, his focus is 100% on you. Part of him is afraid if you do something stupid again.

"I saw my mom— she's the one who planned everything... She's the one who killed Armand" you mewled, you have no energy left to stand so you let yourself slowly sit on the cold marble tiles.

"It's my mom Jay. It's not Jack... Please move far away from here. I don't want you to get killed because of me." you said while holding your chest, trying to get your breath back to normal.

Without a word, Jay kneels in front of you and pulls your body closer to him, hugging you in such an awkward position. As you feel his big palm patting your back, you start crying again. Everything feels unreal, you almost forgot, that being a superhero, one of the character traits is being betrayed by a person who you wouldn't even think would betray you.

You may dislike your mom because of her choice to marry Jack and both of you grew distant because of her safety freak of you never ending. But deep down both of you care for each other. You almost got Jay and you killed because of your assumptions that Jack will kill her. You make an innocent life in danger because of your stupid move. Turns out it's your mom's plan after all.

"Jay... Please go far away from New York. It isn't safe anymore" you said, finally loosening the hug to look at him.

Jay pursed his lips together and wiped off your tears using both of his thumbs

"Y/N... We're in this together. I'm not gonna let you fight them alone"

"No Jay! You don't understand! They're dangerous and this is a suicide mission" you warned him

"You know what, it would be dope if I asked Sunghoon to live stream our funeral"

You hate the fact that his stupid joke makes you laugh

"Found it!" You quickly read the email between your mom and FiskKingpin@bishop.mail, your mom had her private email and you weren't shocked at all since she is the head of one of the biggest security companies in the world. Of course with her own money she can do anything.

You quickly turn off her iPad and make sure there's no trace of you entering her office.

"Y/N what are you doing here?" you flinch so hard at your mom's voice. Isn't her secretary saying she has a meeting right now?

"Nothing?"

Your mom frowned as soon as she saw your swollen face, you really cried so hard in Jay's apartment this morning.

"Sweetie, are you crying?" she takes a step to get closer to you which results in you clenching the doorknob a bit harder. You don't even feel safe around your mother anymore.

"Umm. Rough day" you answered awkwardly, trying to leave her intense stare.

"Tell me what happened in my office—"

"No mom, I had archery class... I can't" you quick to cut her off, you won’t ready yet to face someone who just betrayed you. Without waiting for her response, you didn’t waste any time and left the building, you could only pray your mom did not notice your awkward behavior just now.

“So they’re gonna kill Jack this Saturday? At the charity party?” Jay repeats the information you gave to him, killing someone in public, isn’t that too risky?

“That’s what I read in her email, It is weird she want him to be kill at her own party, is one murder isn’t enough for her? ” You questioned, peeking at Jay who looked on Kingpin’s profile from his PC, apparently there’s not much info of him on the internet besides that he is a legitimate businessman and a kind-hearted philanthropist who made donations to charities.

“I think Kingpin will attend the charity party as his website stated that he’s gonna donate something big on Bishop Charity Party” Jay informed, turning the PC to your side for you to get a better view to read the article.

“Damn, they really cover themselves well”

“I know right”

Both of you remain calm in this hazardous situation, Jay keeps reminding you to stay on the right path, one wrong move and this week will be your last week on earth. You’re dealing with the mighty Kingpin, I mean, did you see his body is totally heavy with muscle? One punch and you’ll be seeing heaven.

You didn’t have any idea of why your mom associated herself with him and killed an innocent life just for a black market sword? If she has so much money in her bank account, then why didn't she simply buy it? You lean your head on Jay’s shoulder, today was too much for you and it's not even 2PM yet.

“Jay…” your voice came out like a whisper, all of this brand new information drained your energy.

“Hm?”

“Why do you help me when you hate my existence so much?” the question you asked him was out of the blue, you didn't think anything when you called him, and the question left from your lips naturally.

Jay’s focus is on you, he puts the iPad down on the coffee table to take a peek at you who’s still leaning on his shoulder, seeing your blank face making him chuckle.

“Do we really hate each other?” he asked you which make you look at him, curiously

“Then what’s the point of those rival moments between us then?” you raised your eyebrow

Jay didn't answer your question, he lifted your heads up and cupped your face using his palms.

“Why don’t we focus on how to defeat Kingpin, hm?” the way he stares at your eyes making your cheeks heat, by now you only 50% confirm that you is falling for Park Jay, your arch-enemy

For 3 days you and Jay practice archery real hard and your coach is surprised to see teamwork between the two of you which never happened but alas you didn't care. You are only a step away to make the world peace (Kudos to Captain America for the speech he did while you’re in detention back in highschool)

“What is this?”

“We need some cool superhero suits! So I bought a bulletproof jacket from some store I found on the internet” you excitedly unboxing the medium package in front of you, handing Jay a black bulletproof hoodie to him.

Jay sighs, he knows you’re gonna make everything you can do for him to wear the ‘superhero suit’. At least he will die in some new shirt

“And I'm gonna wear purple!” you exclaimed, showing him your purple jacket- rather than being scared to life right now, you felt excited like you completed one of your bucket list.

“Weirdo,” Jay said to himself.

Both of you stand in front of the venue where your mom held the charity party while wearing a jacket and leather pants. Earning side eyes from others didn’t bother you much since you never follow your mom’s dress code but for Jay, this is humiliating for him since every part he went he never failed to show off his high quality tailored suit.

“Y/N Bishop! What are you wearing?!” your mom quickly made her way towards you, her eyes glared at you feeling frustrated you didn't even try on the dress she bought for you.

“Jay, you too?” your mom disbelief, she thought Jay was the last person who would go along with your crazy mind

“You know what? Nevermind, just go home. I won't force you to join tonight’s event.” Jay looks at you with a confused expression, usually your mom is willing to do everything to make sure you attend the event she organized but tonight she seems off?

“No mom. We’re here” you insisted and pushed your mom out of your way. Jay follows you like a puppy following his master, he tries so hard to cover his face from the public, if anyone recognized him in this state, he willingly unalive himself without Kingpin’s help.

“So now what?” Jay asked, taking a bite of brownies from the tray.

“We wait.” you simply answered, turning your whole body to the large glass window that shows the whole view of New York City. To think about it, it’s really unbelievable the things you’re gonna do a few minutes or maybe hours later, defeat a bad guy with his Russian Gang with DIY arrows, cool bulletproof jackets and hope. Despite having less than 0.1% to win the war, all the needs to end by tonight.

While both of you are too mesmerized by the city light, ignoring all the eyes that are judging you and Jay for wearing something absurd at a formal charity party- neither of you realized that there’s a red laser pointing on the large window from the next old building, waiting for the sign from someone to shoot at it. When the first shot is fired causing the large window to crack, all of the guests start to scream and run to the entrance to save themselves while you and Jay quickly wear earpieces, and make sure all guests are safe since the bullets keep hitting the large window making it more fragile.

“Jack!” you called Jack from afar, finally realizing him hiding under one of the guests' tables after Jay pointed out to you.

“What happened?” Jack slowly comes out from his hiding, crawling to get to you. You help him to get up and grab his hand to bring him out of the scene, however as soon as Jack reveals himself, the shooter becomes more brutal, it won’t stop until the bullets hit Jack’s body. You hand him the bulletproof jacket, telling him to wear it while you and Jack run to the door.

“Shit, they locked it!” you curse, kicking the wooden door, of course they planned it perfectly so that no one will ever be blamed on Jack’s death

“It’s the two of you again” the leader of the Russian gang grunts, his hostile glare makes it clear his still holding grudge on the two of you.

You didn’t say anything, instead you nock one of your special arrows and shot right to his thigh and seconds after it exploded making the big guy scream, holding his burned leg.

“I swear I thought I pulled the electro one”

Seeing their leader is down, the others start attacking you and Jay. You shoot as many arrows as you can, aiming at their either thighs or arm while Jay physically fights with others. Both of your energy decreasing and your arms starting to feel numb, you never shoot many arrows in a short period of time, while Jay throws punches to guys that are twice size than him. On the other side, Jack sees a sword belonging to one of the criminal guys and carefully crawls to the scene, making sure no one would notice him, he takes the sword and slashes the back of the guy that wants to attack Jay’s from behind.

“Jack! Don’t” you scream while prods one of your ‘needle spinning’ arrows to the ground and the motor spins quickly to shoot out needles from all sides. (you make a mental note to thank your engineer friend for making this)

Jack ignores your warning, he keeps fighting with all the Russian gang using his terrific skills on sword, you thought he's a fool who is a fan of sword, but he proves you wrong- he attacks them with the sword effortlessly like he’s born with it.

With one last stab to the right on the thigh, the three of them successfully defeat the gang. Jay, Jack, and you trying to catch breath, an awkward silence filled the hall- who could guess that the two people you hate are on your side?

“We need to get out from here, Kingpin didn’t get caught yet” Jay said, taking one of the guns from the marble floor and shot to the double dore twice before he kicks the door, opening the door just to see all the guests are standing in front of the venue, feeling traumatized.

“Y/N go, you still can catch Kingpin. I will be with you soon, don’t turn off your tracker!” Jay said, holding both of your shoulders, looking at you with his sharp eyes. You froze on the spot for a second, why did you suddenly feel shy when his eyes looked directly on you?

“Jay… you’re bleeding” you gasped, after a moment of staring you realized his forehead bleed.

“No, it’s fine! Go catch Kingpin now!” he said, wiping off the blood that came out from his forehead using the back of his hand, Jay hissed as he could feel the sting.

You hesitate for a second, you don’t want to leave Jay but you need to catch the criminal or else the three of you will die by tonight. You grabbed Jay’s collar and gave him a peck on his soft lips, you could taste his blood from the cut on the corner of his mouth. Jay didn't say anything when you took a step away from him, giving him one last smile before you left him with Jack.

“Ah, young love” Jack cooed, smirking as he saw Jay’s ears turning red.

Well the peck you share definitely changes the status of your relationship.

Running through the busy road for sure will earn a bunch of honks from everyone, nevertheless people's anger is not your issue right now, the person who drives a white branded car is your aim. Using the arrow that has no trick, you easily shot right to his tire, making the car go slower as it was getting hard to control, you shot the second arrow to the right tire making the white car completely stop.

Kingpin finally reveals himself towards you, with a wide smile stuck on his face. You swallow your saliva a little hard, didn't expect him to be this huge? Like he’s so big, bigger than a sumo player. You could hear the sound of a camera capturing the pictures of the two of you and recording, yelling that you are a troublemaker.

“How nice to finally meet you, kid” he said, grabbing your shoulder a little harder making you wince in pain.

“You’re devil in disguise” you spat, feeling disgust by his action, killing people at night and doing charities in the morning. He didn't deserve the compliment he gets from the public. He let out a sardonic laugh. You took out your trick arrow, and notch the arrow straight to his calm face.

“Killing me in front of the public? Rookie mistake” he insulted

“Vanessa is a nice woman”

That’s it. The name itself would trigger everything in Kingpin. A name of the woman he loves, he would even do impossible things to have her stick on his side. Her beloved wife who didn’t know a single thing about the dark side of him. You found out Kingpin has a soft spot on her wife after dealing with Jay’s uncle who is apparently a blind criminal defense attorney.

The big guy mumbled something to you before taking your arrows that were aiming at him and broke it to two, his raged face proving that you successfully made him angry. You try to kick him in the stomach, but Kingpin is fast enough to hold your legs and twist it to make you fall to the road.

“Don’t touch her!” He spat and lifted you by holding on your collar before tossing to the side, your back hitting the bay window of the store that was located on the side of the road.

You wince in pain, he tosses you like he’s tossing a crumple paper into the dustbin.

He angrily walks to you, he takes out a gun from his coat which made the public gasp but before anyone can do anything a car comes from the side and rams on Kingpin.

Once again a loud gasp could be heard from the public, there’s more people recording and capturing the scene but alas, that is the last thing you need to worry about. Your back is killing you, luckily the car rams into him or else you are very sure he will turn you into pieces.

“Sweetie” you lift your upper body slowly with the help of your elbows, you take a peek at the owner of the voice.

Your mom rushingly out of the car to get you. As she became closer to you, you could see her swollen eyes and red nose, she was crying. You scoff, she must be sad since her plans are ruined. She helps you to get up which you gladly accept, your mom quickly hugs you tightly, she rests her head on your shoulder while mumbling sorry and i love you to you.

“Why?” the one and only question you want to ask her.

Eleanor Bishop is all alone now, her husband dead in the New York attack and his company bankrupt due to the fallen economy. She had nothing besides her daughter, Y/N Bishop. All she wants is to protect her and give her everything she deserves yet again she got nothing on her. The money she has is enough to raise Y/N but she needs more than that, she needs more protection to the point that if anything bad happens she does not need to worry since Y/N will have enough protection with her.

That’s the reason why she got acquainted with one of his late husband’s friends, Wilson Grant Fisk, a successful businessman who had helped her husband a lot during his lowest time. If she knew stepping inside Fisk’s office would turn her life upside down, she swore she wouldn't. He is not kind like the media portrayed him to be. He forces her to join the darkside of him, covering all of his bad doing with her high security and that is one of the reasons why her business is going so well despite being the new company in the industry. He is highly influential both in the legal and illegal industry making it so hard for Eleanor to expose him.

The recent request she got from him was a sword that was used by Ronin- an unknown assassin. He never told the reason, but alas Eleanor can’t do anything besides accept his request. Jack’s cousin, Armand was so into the sword to the point he talked about it every time Jack’s family held a dinner. Eleanor took him to her office, persuading him to give her the sword since it is illegal for citizens to have it.

Armand then threatened Eleanor to report her to the police since he knew everything about Eleanor’s relationship with Kingpin. Fear for her life, Eleanor asked Kingpin to kill Armand to get the sword and she’s the one who put the sword on Jack’s trunk so Kingpin’s subordinates will take the sword from him and kill him since Eleanor can’t deal to live under one roof with the bloodline of the person she killed.

Everything goes so smoothly until you and Jay interfere, the day she meets Kingpin, Eleanor feels her knee weak as Kingpin shows a clear picture of both of you. How does her daughter get involved in this? She was supposed to know nothing. When the attack happened tonight (once again planned by her) her heart stopped when someone informed her that the three of you are trapped inside the hall, fighting those Russian gangs. She knew you after Kingpin, Eleanor knows her daughter so well, if she’s aware of the attack tonight, there’s no way she wouldn't know about Kingpin which is why she is going after her, she doesn’t want her daughter to die in Kingpin hands.

“I’m sorry sweetie. Back then everything was about you. I was so scared of losing you” your mom sobbed, releasing her body from you.

Police siren could be heard from afar and you could just say sorry to her. She understands, your mother knows she can’t forever hide herself from all the crime she commits. Your mother notices Jay, panting hard from running to get to you.

“Take care of her, Jay” was the last word she said before the police arrested her. Seeing your action tonight makes her realize all the martial arts and archery classes you have been enrolled in are enough to protect you from evil. Your mom was too obsessed with your safety, to the point she was doing things that ruined her.

You are grateful for having a mom like her but she needs to face the consequence after killing an innocent guy.

TWO MONTHS LATER

“I stopped playing Tinder after a guy said he miss her and i be like ‘bet she bad’ and he replied ‘my grandma’-”

Jay chokes on his drinks hearing your worst experience in dating, tonight was friday night so both of you decided to have a sleepover in your house while sharing some crazy story you guys had.

“You’re moron” he tease

“He literally didn’t speak a word to me after that” you chuckled, feeling stupid by your old self who has zero exprience in dating.

“Well for me, I was high with Sunghoon and I dmed to a person who have a cancer emoji on their bio ‘I hope you beat the cancer” Jay hide his face using the pillow, ah the most embarrassing moment in his life, he swore he stopped taking weeds since that day.

“You are so much worse than me!” you wiped the tears on your eyes because laughing too much. The laughter stopped as you both realized there’s no one in the room except you and Jay. staring deep into each other's eyes and bringing bodies closer to each other, you close your eyes as you lean your face to kiss him, the two of you are too shy to express love to each other through words and physical touch is the love language for both of you.

An inch before your lips connected, a knock on the door making you and Jay freeze. Who the hell visits your place 2 in the morning?

Being the brave person you are, you reach the door, slowly twist the doorknob, meanwhile Jay stands on the next side with the baseball bat on his hand, ready to attack if things go south.

“Y/N Bishop?”

You gasped and your eyes widened as soon as you saw the person in front of you. Jay slowly reveals himself to take a look at the person that visited you 2 in the morning. His jaw dropped seeing Clint Barton standing in front of your house with his suit.

“We have lot to talk, come with me”

[angelasscribbles]

Savage Love Chapter 16: Definitely a Date

 Series: Savage Love

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Riley x Liam, Riley x Drake

Rating: R         

Warnings: Mature themes

Word Count: 4,406

A/N: Special shoutout to @nestledonthaveone for brainstorming band names with me about a million years ago. I'm finally using it. (Just the name, you'll have to wait for the actual performance scene)

My other stuff: Master List.

I changed clothes then met Drake in the secret passageway outside my room.

“Are we taking your bike again?” I asked hopefully.

He laughed, “We can. I mean, I do have a car.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

He shrugged, “Ok then. Bike it is.”

I closed the panel to my room and turned expecting to follow behind him, but he was still standing there, giving me one of those unreadable expressions of his.

I raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“Should we…ah, talk about earlier today?”

My eyebrows shot all the way up, “You want to talk about your feelings?”

“No, I do not. I didn’t say I want to talk about it, I’m asking if we need to talk about it.”

The earnest expression as his copper and gold flecked eyes studied mine made my heart turn over in my chest.  “Probably.”

“Should I…uh…” His eyes flicked up to the ceiling then back to mine uncertainly, “should I apologize again?”

“Look, Walker, you don’t have to keep apologizing, you’ve done that. I just need to know that it’s not going to happen again. I can’t have this investigation blow up behind you and Liam trying to get territorial.”

“Yeah, I get it. It wasn’t the time or the place for it.”

I fixed him with a stern look, “Are you saying there is a time and place for it?”

He bit back a smile, “Maybe when you’re not around to see it.”

“Drake, I don’t want you and Liam fighting over me at all.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, I know you don’t like men acting possessive or territorial, I just-“

“It’s not that. I mean, it is that, but I’m serious, as a female agent I’ve had to work twice as hard to be seen as half as good. I can’t mess up an investigation because my feelings-“ I stopped midsentence, panic plunging through me when I realized what I had just said. Was it too late to backtrack? “Because your feelings got in the way.” Shit! What was happening?

He froze, his entire body was rigidly still as he looked at me. For once I could clearly see the thoughts and emotions chase each other across his face. Surprise, elation and confusion flashed through his eyes in rapid succession followed by uncertainty. Then the walls slammed back in place and his face went blank again. “Whose feelings?”

“Anyone’s. Feelings have no place out in the field.”

“Right. Of course not.”

“Listen.” I stepped closer and put my hand on his face, “I don’t hate that I provoke some kind of reaction in you. Just don’t let it interfere with the job I came here to do, ok?”

“Ok.” He agreed reaching up and covering my hand with his own. “So, if we’re good….” He gave me that searching look again.

“We’re good Captain.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

We made our way through the passageways to the garages again. When we got to his bike, he pulled a helmet off the shelf and held it out to me but when I went to take it, he moved it up out of my reach.

“What the hell, Walker?”

“I just want to clear something up first.”

“Okay….” I eyed him suspiciously.

“Last time we took my bike, I believe I was accused of doing it on purpose just to make you have to touch me.”

“Uh huh.” I crossed my arms and tilted my head, “What’s your point?”

“I just want it noted for the record, ma’am, that I offered my car, and you chose the bike.”

I fought, and failed, to repress the smile of amusement that crept across my face. “Noted, Captain. And stop calling me ma’am.”

A soft laugh rumbled through his chest, “Never.”  

I shook my head as I pulled the helmet on, but the truth was that every time he said it, warmth flooded through me. He was teasing me, and I liked it.

I climbed on the back of his bike and wrapped my arms around him. He wasn’t wrong about why I opted for the bike. I liked the adrenaline thrill of speeding down the highway with nothing between us and pavement but air, that much was true, but I also liked the endorphin rush I got from touching him. I pressed my body into his back and slid my hands under the hem of his shirt, running my palms over bare skin instead of fabric.

The parking lot was crowded when we pulled up and music drifted over to us from the somewhere behind the building.

“The band plays outside on the patio.” Drake told me, as if he could read my mind, “I thought we’d grab some beer and food inside first, then we can find a table out back if you want.”

“Lead the way, Captain.”

We were seated quickly, despite the moderately large crowd. A waitress approached and handed us each a beer list. Drake didn’t even look at his, instead handing it back immediately, “I’ll have a Nissos, the Greek Island Pilsner.” He told her, then turned to me, “Brooks?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many choices!”

“If you want something closer to what you’d get in America, I’d suggest a Septem Eighth Day, it’s a pretty good American style IPA. Or something sweeter, maybe? Like a Voreia?”

“What’s that taste like?”

“Never tried it, it smells like chocolate and coffee to me.”

“I prefer ale over lager.”

“Bring her a red donkey.” He said to the waitress.

“They have a beer called red donkey?”

“Yes ma’am, I think you’ll like it. Do you trust me?”

I pretended to think about that deeply for a moment, “Sure, I trust you. At least enough to try the beer you picked. Besides, if I don’t like it, I’ll just order something else.”

“Fair enough.”

We traded the beer lists for menus as she told us, “I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

The food menu was shorter than the beer menu had been. I glanced down the list of options. “I might get a gyro.” I told him, “What are you getting?”

He lifted his eyes from the menu to look at me, “Probably a pouch pie. They have really good ones here.”

“What the hell is a pouch pie?”

His mouth fell open, “What? They don’t have those in Monterisso?”

“Guess not.” I shrugged.

“Ok then….you’ve lived in the states. Ever had pot pie?”

“Chicken pot pie?”

“Yes!” His hand slapped the table, “Like that, but better! Flakier crust, wider variety of fillings.”

“Like what? Where are they?” I asked him as I scanned down the menu.

He pulled my menu down and tapped the spot where they were listed before telling me, “I’m going to get the steak, bacon and ale one.”

I peered at him over the top of the menu, “Of course you are. You and your bacon.”

“Hasn’t slowed me down.” He grinned at me as he lifted the hem of his shirt and ran his hands across his washboard abs.

My eyes dipped down to follow his hands and I licked my lips, “I do appreciate your dedication to your workout routine.”

He bit into his lower lip as his eyebrows quirked up, “Do you, now?”

He was ridiculous. I laughed, shaking my head, “Yeah, I do. But you already know you’re hot. I feel it would be irresponsible of me to stroke that ego of yours any more than I already have.”

“I have other things you could stroke.”

“Keep it in your pants, Walker, we’re in public.”

“So, I didn’t hear a no, I heard a wait until we’re in private.”

“Yeah? And what are you gonna do for me?”

“Whatever the fuck you want.” He told me with a seductive smirk.

I felt heat surge through me and I’m pretty sure my pupils dilated, but I kept a look of feigned indifference on my face as I moved my eyes back to the menu, “Hm. We’ll see. But right now, we’re here to eat, remember? The pouch pies do sound good, I’m torn between chicken and mushroom or spinach and feta…. Then again, I really like the tzatziki sauce that comes on gyros, so maybe I’ll get one of those.”

“If it’s just the tzatziki sauce you want, try the patates tiganites.”

“Those are french fries, right?”

“Greek fries, more like it. They're not thin like the French fries you'd get at an American restaurant. These are hand-cut potatoes, much thicker.”

“So, like steak fries?”

“Yeah, something like that, but seasoned a lot better and they come with tzatziki sauce; we’ll get some to eat while we’re waiting on the pouch pies if you want.”

“That sounds good.”

The waitress returned, depositing our drinks, “You guys ready?”

Drake ordered the patates tiganites and his selection, then turned to me and asked, “So have you decided what you want?”

“Ok, mmm, the spinach and feta pie sounds really good, but I think I’m going with the chicken and mushroom.” I closed my menu with a nod and handed it to the waitress.

“Hold on, you want spinach and feta?” Turning to the waitress he told her, “Bring us some of the mini spanakopita's with those patates tiganites."

“Got it.” She took the menus and hurried away.

“Trying to score points for knowledge of the most delicious foods on the menu?” I asked him.

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether or not it’s working.” He laughed, “Is it?”

“I’ll let you know after I actually taste it.”

“You never make anything easy, do you?” He said it like it was a joke but the way his eyes stayed on mine as he lifted his beer to his mouth belied that. He was doing that thing again, the one where he seemed to be searching for something but hell if I knew what.

I regarded him as I took a pull of my own drink, then I lowered it and pointed the bottle at him, “What’s that about?”

“What’s what about?”

“That, this…whatever this is!” I used my other hand, waving it front of his face to indicate his expression.

“My face?” He laughed, “What are you asking? I know you’re not drunk already off half a beer. How is it, by the way?”        

“It’s good. Really fucking good, you were right, I like it. But don’t change the subject.”

“Sorry, Brooks, I have no idea what the subject is!” He took another long pull of his drink as he looked away from me.

“Hm.” I sat back in my chair. I was about to push the issue when the waitress returned with the patates tiganites, spanakopita’s, plenty of tzatziki sauce for dipping them both in and fresh drinks.

“Oh. My. God.” I licked the tzatziki sauce off my fingers along with the seasoning from the fries that stuck there. “You were not overselling these!”

“Told you.” He smirked.

“Here.” He plucked a spanakopita off the plate and leaned across the table, holding it up to my mouth.

I opened my mouth and sank my teeth into it. I bit through the crunchy, flaky exterior and an explosion of flavors hit my taste buds as the hot, creamy mixture of spinach and feta cheese coated my tongue.

“Ohmgeeeee….” I moaned a little, it was that damn good.

He laughed and offered me the rest of it, I leaned forward and took it, pulling his fingers into my mouth with it. I looked up into his eyes as I pulled slowly back, sucking on his fingers as I went until I pulled back far enough for them to pop out. My tongue shot out to lick his fingertips one last time before I sat back in my seat, chewing the food slowly as I watched his reaction.

His pupils definitely dilated, shooting satisfaction through me that I wasn’t the only one. His copper colored orbs darkened to a deeper amber, another dead give away that he was experiencing some arousal of his own. He kept his eyes locked on mine as he brought his hand to his own mouth and slid his tongue from the bottom to the top his index finger.

Well, shit. That wasn’t fair. Using my own tactics against me. If he was trying to make sure the night ended up with him in my bed, he was off to a stellar start. But you know, I was going to make him suffer a little first. I had already kicked my shoes off under the table, I slid a bare foot up his leg and thigh to settle right between his legs.

His body jerked upright, and heat flared through his eyes. He reached under the table, but instead of pushing my foot away, he pulled it in close. His fingers rubbed circles along the top of my foot as he pressed it into his groin.

I wiggled my toes for good measure.

A low growl escaped him as he gripped my foot tighter. He opened his mouth to say something but just then the waitress showed up and dropped off our food. He released my foot with a shake of his head, “You don’t play fair, Brooks.”

“I wasn’t aware there were rules.” I told him saucily, “But you should be aware by now that I take rules as suggestions.”

“I’m aware.” He responded drily.

After we finished our meal, we made our way outside. We could hear the band inside, but it was much louder outside. Drake kept a grip on my hand as he pulled me through the crowd. He scanned the patio looking for open seating. The song ended and in the relative quite, a voice called out, “Drake! Riley! Over here!”

Drake swore under his breath. I followed the voice to find Marco waving and grinning at us. “We don’t have to-“

“Oh, come on!” I replied, tugging him in Marco’s direction.

When we got to the table, the people already there shifted over and pulled a couple of more chairs up so Drake and I could squeeze in.  Marco made introductions around the table, and I matched up names with faces, filing them away for later reference in case it was important. My superior memory was part of what made me a good agent.

“Hey, Sav! I didn’t know you were here tonight!” Drake greeted one of the other table occupants as he pulled her into a hug. “Riley, this is Savannah, my little sister. Sav, this is Riley my-“ He stopped in midsentence, stricken as pure, unadulterated panic swept across his features.

I leaned forward to shake her hand, “His friend. Nice to meet you, Savannah.”

She looked a lot like Drake. Her hair was darker and her overall countenance more welcoming, but I could definitely see the resemblance. She ignored my hand and pulled me into a hug instead.

“Oh, I-“ I don’t normally go around hugging people I just met, but she didn’t give me much of a choice.

“Did my brother almost call you his girlfriend?” She screamed into my ear because the music had started up again.

I smiled as I pulled away and gave her a shrug. The music didn’t leave much room for talking, but everyone tried, nonetheless. There were a lot of shouted questions before everyone finally went back to drinking and watching the band.

I sat back in my seat and glanced over at Drake. He was leaned back in his chair, legs sprawled out in front of him, eyes on the stage. He looked so relaxed and happy. I felt a sense of contentment wash over me as the music pulsed through the air. He cut his eyes at me and when he noticed me looking, turned his head and gave me a wide, genuine smile. I smiled back as he slipped his hand into mine. We both just sat there staring stupidly at each other while the song finished. Ok, I admit it, we were making goo goo eyes at each other. But in my defense, the man was gorgeous, sexy as fuck, funny when he wanted to be, smarter than he let on and an actual honest to God, down to earth, good guy.

What the hell was wrong with me that I didn’t want a relationship with him?

Three months, Brooks, three months, I reminded myself. You’re only here for a few more months.

Right.

When the band took a break the lead singer spotted Drake in the crowd and made a beeline for our table. “Drake! Fuck, it’s been a minute!”

Drake stood up to shake the man’s hand, “Hey Garrett! Nice set.”

His eyes traveled behind Drake, lighting up when they landed on me, “Who’s your friend?”

I stood up as Drake made introductions.

“Garrett, this is Riley, Riley, Garrett.”

“Nice to meet you.” I stuck out my arm for a handshake as I took him in. He had well defined arms that were tatted from the wrists to the shoulders and blond hair that hung down his back, halfway to his ass, it was pushed back out of his face with a bandana.

Garrett pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed it. He continued to hold my hand, looking into my eyes as he asked, “Girlfriend? Or just friend? Because I am single, Riley, just so you know.”

“Get the fuck out of here!” Drake shoved the other man with a tight laugh. Like, he was joking, but he wasn’t joking. “Doesn’t matter if we’re dating or not, she’s too fucking good for the likes of you.”

Garrett dropped my hand but continued to smirk at me, “So just friends then. Excellent!”

The shift in Drake’s body language was so slight, I doubt anyone else noticed it. He went tense, on alert. I noticed. He sidled up closer to me and ran his hand down my arm, “Actually, we are kind of a thing, and this is most definitely a date.”

Garrett turned to me with mock anguish, hand over his heart, “Please, tell me he’s lying!”

I paused for moment studying Drake’s face before deciding to play along. I cocked my head to one side and smiled as I snaked my arm through Drakes, “Actually, sorry, we are dating. Right, sweetheart?”

The stunned expression that flitted across his face was quickly replaced by one of smug satisfaction as he confirmed, “Right. For just over a month now.”

Garrett’s eyes narrowed, “Really? I thought you didn’t do relationships, Walker.”

Drake shrugged, “Apparently, I just needed to meet the right woman. Right, baby?”

My smile widened as I decided to mess with him. If he wanted to back his friend off, which was uncalled for by the way, because I was a big girl and I could have backed him off myself, but if that’s what he wanted to do, I was going to have some fun with it. “Absolutely. I’m moving my stuff into his place this weekend.”

Garrett’s mouth dropped open, “No fucking way! Are you serious, dude? After a month?”

“Oh yes,” I continued, working overtime to suppress the laughter bubbling up at the sight of Drake’s face, “He told me he loved me after one week! How adorable is that?”

Garrett double over with laughter, “Bloody hell you say! Not Drake fucking Walker, this is insane! She’s fucking with me, right?”

I gave Drake a challenging look. He could salvage his reputation as a playboy and risk having his friend compete with him for my attention or he could back his buddy off and likely never hear the end of it. I gave him my best nonchalant ‘your move’ expression as I waited.

“Well, I…she…I mean….”

He was struggling and it was cute and more than a little amusing, so I decided to up the ante, “We’re going ring shopping next week.”

“Oh fuck! Now I know she’s messing with me!” Garrett practically howled, “Dude! You really had me going for a minute there.”

An expression of disgruntlement ran across Drake’s face followed by one of resolve as he slung his arm around my shoulder and tugged me closer to his body, “Nope. She’s telling the truth. She’s it for me. Stick a fork in me, I’m done. Time to tie myself down to the old ball and chain.”

“Ball and chain? Really?”

He leaned his forehead against the side of my head so he could whisper in my ear, “Didn’t think I was going to let you get away with all that without some sort of retaliation, did you?”

The annoyance drained right out of me as his breath tickled my ear. I tried, and failed, to repress the shiver that it sent cascading down my spine.

“Wow. Really? Ok, then. Well fuck me running. Now I’ve seen every damn thing.” Garrett was considerably less cheerful, “Congratulations then, I guess.”

Marco tripped over a chair getting to us as Garrett walked away, “Wait, you two are getting married?”

Drake rolled his eyes, “No, we were just fucking with Garrett.”

“I thought Drake was going to implode when I said that.” I laughed.

Marco looked between us, “Yeah, but he didn’t contradict you.”

“So?” Drake asked in annoyance.

Marco’s entire face lit up in a gloating grin, “Nothing, Walker, nothing at all.”

Drake shook his head, “Whatever Rossi. Don’t you need to go refill your drink or something?”

“Yeah, sure.” Marco waved at me with a wink as he sauntered off toward the bar.

Turning back to me, Drake said, “And for the record, I wasn’t going to implode, I was just taken aback, that’s all. You had to go for the nuclear option.”

“Oh, so you’re fine with the dating part? All I did was push it to the next level and you almost had a panic attack.”

“Jumping straight to marriage was a little premature, don’t you think, Brooks? Seeing as we only just stared dating three minutes ago.” He said with a teasing smile.

“I thought it was a month ago.” I deadpanned.

“What was a month ago?” Savannah asked as she approached.

“Nothing.” Drake said, “We were messing with Garrett.”

“How do you even know that guy?” I asked. He was nothing like the people Drake knew from the palace or even from the military.

“From his own long haired boy band days.” Savannah answered.

I burst into laughter, “What?”

“Sav, please.” Drake grunted in consternation.

“Oh, my God! He hasn’t told you about Squid Whiskey?”

“Squid Whiskey? What the hell is that?”

“The band he was in during college.”

“No. fucking. Way!”

Drake looked like he wanted to crawl under the table, “Why, Sav? Haven’t I been a good brother?”

“You’re the best brother, except when it comes to me dating. Remember showing Peter West pictures of me with my retainer? Paybacks a bitch.”

“Wait, wait, wait! I have to know….what the hell is a squid whiskey? What kind of name is that?”

“We were eighteen when we picked that name…” Drake said in way of a very weak defense.

“You know Maxwell Beaumont?” Savannah asked. After I nodded, she supplied, “His house sigil is a squid, he picked that part. You can deduce who picked the whiskey part.”

“You went to college with Max?” I asked in surprise.

“Yeah, and Liam. Leo and Bert were a couple years ahead of us, but we were all at the same place.”

“Wait, you’re telling me that you were in a band, named Squid Whiskey, with Liam, Leo, Max and Bertrand?”

He scrubbed a hand down his face as he sighed and reluctantly admitted, “Yes.”

I clamped my hand over my mouth to stifle the snort of laughter.

“I have pictures, Riley. Make him bring you by my apartment sometime.”

“I will!” I promised. Then to him, “What did you play?”

“Drums.”

I stopped laughing, “Really?”

He noticed the change in my demeanor, “Yeah, why? What?”

“Nothing. I’m just a little turned on right now, that’s all.” I have always had a thing for drummers.

“You’re welcome.” Savanna laughed slapping his shoulder as she walked away.

“Oh yeah?” He asked me, slightly mollified at that news. Or at least less mortified.

“Oh yeah. Now come on, we were going to get some water, weren’t we?” He definitely hadn’t heard the last of Squid Whiskey, but I decided to let it drop for the time being.

Drake had two beers with the food earlier and one on the patio, we’d been there a couple of hours and he’d cut himself off since he had to drive us back to the palace, on a motorcycle no less.

At the bar, I leaned over and put my mouth right at his ear so he could hear me, “You know, for a quiet guy, you sure have a lot of loud people in your life!”

“What?” He laughed.

I listed them, “Hank, Marco, Matias, Rita, Savannah, Leo. Hell, even Liam is downright boisterous compared to you.”

He turned to me, his face falling serious, “Speaking of Liam….”

I suddenly regretted mentioning Liam. “Could we not? I mean, not right now?”

“Why not?” And there was that searching look again.

I pointed accusingly right at his face, “That! That’s what I was talking about earlier! That look on your face right there!”

“What about my face?”

“When you look at me like that, it’s like you’re trying to figure something out!”

He lifted an eyebrow, “I am.”

“What?” I demanded.

“You.” He said quietly.

“What about me do you want to know?”

“Everything.” Was all he said, but he said it with such passion, such longing, such feeling that it rendered me speechless, which is quite a feat because I am almost never at a loss for words.

Between the way he was looking at me in that moment and the way he’d said, “she’s it for me,” as if he’d actually meant it, I could almost imagine what it would be like to let him in, to drop my walls and let myself feel something.

But there was no way I was getting in any deeper than I already was. I couldn’t. I had a job to do, a mission to accomplish, criminals to catch. I absolutely, positively, no matter what, could not let myself start having feelings for this man.

But goddamned if I hadn’t liked it when he’d called me baby.

[multi-fandom-imagines-stuff]

Smaller Than This

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff/daughter!reader, Peter Parker/platonic!reader, Wanda Maximoff/reader

Description: The reader is Natasha Romanoff’s daughter, best friend of Peter Parker, and girlfriend of Wanda Maximoff. Growing up in the spotlight is hard enough, but things cross a line when people start commenting on the reader’s weight.

Warnings: eating disorder, swearing, threats of violence

Word count: 3,282

A/N: I know it’s not easy to deal with eating disorders, but please know that you are beautiful and amazing and you don’t deserve to have to suffer through that. Please, if you are struggling with this, reach out for help. <3

✩❀✩❀✩

Black Widow’s daughter spotted in Central Park with new best friend Scarlet Witch and Stark Industry intern Peter Parker! Could Parker be y/n’s new boyfriend?

You laughed and rolled your eyes as you clicked on the tweet. Stalking paparazzi twitter accounts had to be one of your favorite pastimes, simply because the so-called facts they were giving out were false 99% of the time. For instance, this situation? You had gone out for a picnic with Peter and Wanda when those photos were taken, and the paparazzi completely twisted things. Peter wasn’t your boyfriend, he was just your best friend. And Wanda wasn’t your best friend, she was your girlfriend. You chose to ignore the false headline as you went immediately for the replies.

‘Do you see the way y/n’s looking at Wanda? It seems more like there’s something going on between them than there is between y/n and Peter’

You smiled and liked that tweet. You liked messing with people just a bit. Whenever someone would tweet about there possibly being a relationship between you and Wanda, you liked the tweet. It wasn’t enough information to actually confirm the relationship as true, but it was enough to keep people speculating.

You scrolled through several more replies. Most of them were people using the heart eyes emoji or saying how much they loved your mom, but there were a few in there that stuck out more than the rest. That was because they were harsh and hurtful.

‘I don’t understand how someone can live with the Avengers and still look like that. Does she ever even exercise?’

‘She could stand to lose some weight. Instead of going out for a picnic, she should try to skip a few meals’

You read through replies for a few more minutes. Similar comments would pop up now and then, and while there wasn’t an overwhelming amount, there was still enough to make you close down the app and shut off your phone, averting all your attention toward not crying. 

“Miss y/n, dinner has been called,” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice rang through your room.

Pushing the thoughts to the back of your mind, you got off your bed and made your way to the dining room. There, Peter and Wanda were setting the table while Steve and Bucky carried out the food.

You walked up behind your girlfriend and wrapped your arms around her waist, resting your chin on her shoulder. You felt her jump slightly before she realized it was you and relaxed into your touch. You placed a kiss on her cheek.

“I love you,” You whispered in her ear.

“Hey! What did we talk about?” Tony directed at you, raising an eyebrow at you and causing you to roll your eyes.

“No lovey-dovey shit at the dinner table,” You mumbled.

“Language!” Steve scolded you as Clint joined the conversation.

“Oh, come on, Tony,” He said. “It’s young love. It’s harmless and adorable.”

“It makes me want to hurl,” Tony retorted.

To onlookers, it may have sounded like Tony was being a real dick, but you knew he was just teasing you. He’d never admit it, but secretly he loved how happy you and Wanda made each other.

“Watch it, Stark,” Your mom shot him a glare. “That’s my kid you’re talking about.”

Your head whipped up at your mom’s voice. She had been on a mission for the past week and wasn’t supposed to get home for another three days.

“Mom!” You yelled as you ran toward her, wrapping your arms around her as you squeezed her tight.

“Hey, kiddo! I’ve missed you!” She said, hugging you back and kissing you lightly on the forehead.

“I’ve missed you, too!”

“As much as I hate to break up this reunion,” Bucky said, causing you to pull away from your mom. “Steve and I slaved over dinner and it’s getting cold, so let’s eat.”

You took your seat at the table—in between Peter and Wanda—and filled your plate with the spaghetti and garlic bread Steve and Bucky made. Everyone was silent as you all dug into your food and, you had to admit, it tasted amazing. 

When Steve and Bucky first moved in, neither of them were allowed near a stove without supervision. They had started too many accidental fires. But after lots and lots of practice, the two of them easily became the best cooks in the tower.

After dinner, you excused yourself to your room. Your phone was still lying face down on the bed, so you grabbed it and opened it up. Right away, you noticed several notifications from twitter. Upon further investigation, you found that the rude comments people were saying about you had extended to your messages. Now, you had complete strangers messaging you about how you needed to ‘lose weight’, or ‘eat less’, or ‘exercise more’. A few of the messages even called you a ‘disappointment to the Avengers’.

You deactivated your account and deleted the app from your phone, but the damage was already done and you knew it. So you came up with a plan and decided to set it into motion the next morning.

✩❀✩❀✩

You woke up in the morning to your alarm blaring. Checking the time, you saw it was 4:30, and you wondered why your alarm was going off so early before you remembered the plan you had made the night before.

You got out of bed and quickly dressed in athletic attire before running out of your room. You knew Steve liked to run in the mornings, so you sat in the kitchen waiting for him.

When he finally sauntered in at 5:00, he was more than surprised to see you sitting there.

“Y/n?” He asked. “What’re you doing up so early?”

“Can I run with you today, Uncle Steve?” You asked him, a pleading look on your face that you knew he couldn’t say no to.

“Yeah, sure,” He said. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be sleeping?”

You nodded. 

“I want to start running. My mile time in P.E. class has been slacking lately and I don’t want to fail the class.”

You were surprised yet proud of how quickly you were able to come up with that lie, and you were happy to see that Steve believed every word of it.

So that’s how you spent your morning: running laps with Steve.

The two of you finally called it quits around 6:15 and parted ways. Steve went off to do whatever he did during the days, and you went off to squeeze in a quick shower before school.

By the time you were done with your shower, it was nearly 7:00, which meant you had to rush to get dressed. You finally made it to the kitchen, where Wanda was already waiting for you. The two of you yelled a quick ‘bye’ to whoever was listening before you started the quick walk to the bus stop.

You felt Wanda’s hand interlock with yours and a smile arose on your face as you squeezed her hand. You two didn’t want to publicly disclose your relationship yet, so you knew the minute you reached the bus stop you’d have to let go.

✩❀✩❀✩

At lunch, you sat at a table with Wanda, Peter, MJ, and Ned. You skipped the food line and instead opted to sip at a bottle of water.

“What’s wrong, y/n?” Peter asked you.

“What do you mean?” You shot back, not quite sure what he was getting at.

“You’re not eating.”

Shit. You had to think of a lie, and you had to be extra careful since your girlfriend could read minds. She promised you she’d never read your mind without your consent, but you were still wary.

“Uh...I’m just not feeling well,” You said. “My stomach is feeling a little flip-floppy and I don’t want to push it.”

To your luck, they nodded it off and changed the topic, not questioning you again for the rest of the day.

That night at dinner, you pushed the food around on your plate, eating a few bites here and there. It wasn’t hard to pretend you had eaten, especially since your family was so big. Everyone seemed to be so caught up in conversations with other people that they didn’t notice when you got up and scraped your food into the trash.

✩❀✩❀✩

These habits carried on for a few more weeks. You’d wake up every morning to run with Steve, make up some excuse for why you didn’t eat lunch, and you’d have a few bites of dinner before sneakily trashing it. On most weekends, you chose to spend your time training with your mom. You claimed it was so that you could stay sharp with your self-defense skills, and while that wasn’t necessarily a lie, it wasn’t the full truth, either. But your mom never questioned it, and you were glad.

You seemed to fly under the radar, until one Sunday afternoon.

You walked into your room after training with your mom to find Peter and Wanda waiting for you.

“Hey, guys,” You greeted, throwing yourself into a chair and downing half a bottle of water. “What’s up?” 

“We know,” Wanda said, a stern yet concerned look on her face.

“Know what?” You asked her, although you could feel your heart rate rising. You knew what she was talking about.

“That you haven’t been eating,” Peter joined in.

“What’re you talking about? Of course I’ve been eating.”

That was a lie. Your stomach hadn’t been properly filled in weeks and you couldn’t remember the last time it wasn’t rumbling. But that wasn’t important. What was important was the fact that you were finally losing weight. There’s no way you could stop now.

“Cut the crap, y/n,” Peter said, catching you by surprise. “We’ve been watching you. I can’t even remember the last time you bought a school lunch.”

“And you pick at your food at dinner every night,” Wanda added. “I haven’t seen you eat more than three bites. You think no one notices, but you’re wrong. And I can feel you, love. You feel...empty.”

Wanda rested her hand on your knee as you tried to process what was happening. You had been so good at hiding this, how had they found out?

“You guys, I’m—” You started before Peter cut you off.

“Don’t say you’re fine, because you’re not. We know it, and you know it, so please stop lying to us, y/n. We just want to help.”

“I have it under control, I don’t need help,” You protested. “Just...please don’t tell my mom.”

“Y/n—”

“Wanda, please,” You begged. “My mom has enough to worry about as it is. I don’t need to add this to her stress as well. I promise, I have it under control. I’m alright.”

Wanda and Peter shared a look before turning back to you. 

“We’ll keep this between us for now,” Peter said, and you felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders.

“But, if things get any worse, we won’t hesitate to bring your mom into this,” Wanda warned.

You nodded and the two of them left, Wanda kissing you quickly before walking out of the room. 

‘I just need to hide it better’ you thought to yourself. ‘This is all my fault for being too obvious about things. I need to do better.’

Wanda and Peter had dropped the topic for the time being, until a week later, things took a turn for the worse when your P.E. teacher announced that your class was running the mile that day.

Thanks to training with Steve, your mile time had improved and you were one of the fastest in the class. However, due to malnutrition, any sort of exercise made you extremely lightheaded. 

You ignored the part of your brain that was telling you to make up some excuse to sit out. You convinced yourself you just weren’t drinking enough water so you drank an entire water bottle and went to class.

You were about halfway done with your mile when the corners of your vision turned black. You blinked a few times, trying to edge it away, but it was no use. By now, you heard a loud ringing in your ears and the world started spinning around you. You slowed down a bit, trying to regain your composure when you felt your knees buckle underneath you, and you were plunged into a world of darkness, not feeling it when you hit the ground.

✩❀✩❀✩

When you awoke, you were still laying on the field, your entire class swarming around you. You were trying to sit up when you felt something attached to your hand. 

You looked to the right and saw Wanda sitting there, looking scared as hell.

“Miss Maximoff, Mr. Parker, please escort Miss Romanoff to the nurse’s office,” Your teacher ordered.

You felt Wanda help lift you to a standing position and once you were up, you felt the world start spinning again. You shut your eyes tight as two arms, you assumed they belonged to Wanda and Peter, wrapped around either side of your waist. Soon enough, the dizziness ceased and you opened your eyes, signaling for Peter and Wanda to start walking with you.

You made it to the nurse’s station where you saw your mom already waiting.

“Mom?” You asked, wondering how she had gotten to your school so quickly.

“Peter called me the second he saw you fall,” She explained.

You, Wanda, and Peter were dismissed from school early, and your mom led you all back to her car. You sat in the passenger seat while Peter and Wanda sat in the back.

“What happened?” Your mom demanded.

The tone of her voice scared you a little bit, but you knew it was filled more with concern than it was with anger.

“I must’ve just gotten overheated or something,” You lied, knowing exactly why you passed out. “I was doing fine one second, and then the next I was on the ground.”

“That’s not true, Ms. Romanoff,” Peter interjected.

You whipped your head around to him and shook your head, silently pleading him to not tell her.

“What do you mean?” She asked. “Do you know something I don’t?”

“Peter, stop,” You said, panicking at what was about to be said.

“Y/n hasn’t eaten a proper meal in a month,” Wanda admitted.

You shot your girlfriend a look of betrayal before turning back around to face forward.

“You, what?!” Your mom blared. “Y/n, is this true?”

Your silence was enough of an answer for her to understand that yes, it was true.

“Y/n, baby, why?” Your mom said.

You could tell she was trying to be strong, but her voice was cracking.

“Because I’m not like you guys, okay?!” You finally snapped, letting loose all of your pent-up emotions. “I don’t have a super-human metabolism like Peter, and I don’t have a perfectly in-shape body. I’m not an avenger and it sure as hell shows. Even people I don’t even know were making comments about it on twitter.”

“Is that why you disabled your account?” Peter asked, realization hitting him.

You nodded and looked down at your fingers, not wanting to make eye contact with any of them.

By now, you had reached the tower and your mom put the car into park, turning to face you.

“Y/n, I know it’s been hard for you to grow up in the spotlight, constantly being compared to us but this isn’t healthy,” She said, cupping your chin and lightly pulling your head up to meet her gaze. “If I had known all of this, I never would have let you do all those extra training sessions with me. It’s not safe for you to keep exercising like this when you’re not giving your body proper nourishment.”

“I can’t—” You sniffed. “I can’t stop. I need help.”

You felt a tear roll down your cheek as your mom brushed it away, pulling you in for a hug before the four of you got out of the car.

Once inside, your mom told you to sit down in the living room while she left for a few minutes. When she returned, she had the rest of the team with her and you could only assume she had given them the run-down on your situation. 

You were slightly hurt that she had shared your personal life like that, but you knew it was for the best.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Your mom said once everyone was settled. “Y/n, you’re going to help with dinner every night. I know it can be hard once you’ve developed a food phobia, but when you’re in control of what we eat every night it makes things a little easier. No more throwing your food in the trash, okay? As for school, I’ll be making you a homemade lunch each day, and Peter and Wanda will be keeping an eye on you and will be reporting back to me. First thing tomorrow, I’ll call and set you up an appointment with a therapist. Bottling up your emotions will only make things worse, trust me. You need to talk to someone, and a therapist will help to give you healthier coping mechanisms.”

You listened as your mom laid out these new rules before telling you to go lie down. As you got up to leave, you were bombarded with your family hugging you and telling you they were there for you. You honestly had never felt more loved and supported in your life.

You finally made your way to your room, lying down in bed. A few minutes later, you heard a knock at your door.

“Come in,” You said weakly.

The handle turned and Wanda walked in, using her powers to levitate a tray behind her. You sat up and she put the tray down in your lap. On the tray, you saw there was a plate of cheese and crackers.

You looked down at the tray before looking up at your girlfriend. You forced yourself to pick up one of the crackers and take a bite, your mind screaming at you the entire time. But you were sick. You knew this. You wanted to get better.

“I’m sorry for telling your mother,” Wanda spoke. “You were slowly killing yourself and I couldn’t stand by and watch it happen. I’m so sorry, y/n. Can you forgive me?”

“I don’t blame you, Wan,” You told her. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I never should have forced you and Peter to keep this a secret.”

Wanda wrapped you into her arms, squeezing tightly. The two of you stayed like that for a long time before you pulled away and, bite by bite, finished the snack she had brought you.

✩❀✩❀✩

You had been in recovery for about a month now, and while things were far from easy, you knew you could do it. Your family was your support system and they were right there by your side every step of the way.

You were sitting on the couch with Peter and Wanda, you and your girlfriend tangled in each other’s arms as you watched your mom on tv. She was finishing up a press conference.

“Oh, and one last thing before I go,” She spoke toward the camera and the audience. “Whoever decided to make awful comments about my daughter online, I am a trained assassin and I will find you.”

[mslaevateinn]

I wanna squeeze that peach

My fill for day 4 of the @steverogersweek​ , ‘Food’ I’m combining with the squares C3 - ‘Steve Rogers’ for the @buckybarnesbingo​, C5 - ‘That’s America’s Ass’ for the @steverogersbingo​ and C1 - ‘Delirium’ for the  @cabottombingo​

Title: I wanna squeeze that peach (on AO3) Rating: T Word Count: 490 Ship(s): Steve/Bucky Major tags: crack, fluff, slice of life Summary: On a hot summer day, Steve just wants something to drink. Unfortunately, he seems to be only able to find peaches.

The song that inspired this little thing. 

It was a hot summer day, and all Steve could think about was getting something to drink. Preferably sweet, actually… some juice? Yeah, apple juice would be nice.

Steve stood up and walked to the kitchen where he spotted a big bowl of peaches on the counter. Only peaches. Weird. Steve shrugged, then went to open the fridge. There he found… peaches. Only peaches. And peach juice too. What was going on?

Steve closed the fridge, then reopened it. No, still there. He blinked slowly, then rubbed his eyes and pinched his forearm. Surely he was dreaming. Or this was an elaborate joke. 

Faintly, Steve heard some noise, getting slightly higher by the second, but he did not pay attention to it. He had other things to worry about: where was all the food, and how did that happen?

Staring at the fridge full of peach and by-products, Steve resigned himself to go get Bucky and ask him, and closed the door. The noise he had discarded earlier had grown, and… it almost sounded like music. Some weird electronic stuff from today at least. Curious, Steve turned around to investigate the source of the sound… and yelped.

A wolf. There was a wolf, a yellow. Wolf. in the kitchen. What the fuck. What the FUCK?

Steve took a step back and his left hand shot to his front. No, no temperature. Which did not help, because this looked a lot more like a fever than anything else…

The.. wolf tilted its head, then produced a peach. “Yum, yum” It said, before a second wolf appeared and they started… dancing. On the beat Steve had been hearing all along.

Donk, donk, donk, donka donk

They kept getting closer, and Steve ran into the fridge just when the wolves squeezed peaches in their hands.

Yeah, I really wanna squeeze that peach.

Steve jolted awake, his heart pounding. That’s when he heard that blasted song. Bucky’s new alarm. They had fallen asleep on the sofa, having prepared something just in case, to be sure to be on time for their reservation.

Steve was hot, yeah, and that was because Bucky was laying on him… and had a hand cupping his ass. Dammit. Steve huffed and Bucky opened an eye, then promptly smirked.

“Aw Stevie, problem?” “Your alarm is giving me weird dreams.”

Bucky, that traitor, just laughed and squeezed his ass –America’s ass as he liked to say.

“But sweetheart, it only tells the truth. I really wanna squeeze that peach.” Steve groaned then closed his eyes. “Bucky”

“Come on; you love that song.” “I don’t. And everyday I curse Peter for having shown it to you.” “Oh, but I know you like it. It’s just perfect. I’m sure they made it while thinking about your nice perky ass. America’s ass. My ass.”

Steve opened one eye and raised an eyebrow. Bucky was still smirking, so Steve wiped it off with a kiss.

[from-a-reckless-writer]

part i 

She comes to with a pounding in her head and the feeling of something being lifted off her chest. 

Literally. 

In seconds, her whole body feels lighter. The next thing she registers is a hand in hers. When she stirs, the hand around her tightens and she hears Brainy’s voice, “Director—”

The moment she opens her eyes, she is met with Alex Danvers; a stethoscope slung around her neck and a small flashlight on hand. In her periphery she confirms that it was indeed Brainy, holding her hand. 

“Lena, Lena, look at me. You’re at the DEO, you’re safe, you-”

“Alex, I know the drill, this is—  what? My 91st time now?” She says dryly as her hand slowly slips out of Brainy’s and her fingers massage her temples; eyes clenched shut. Alex visibly relaxes in relief, “Good. Thank fuck your sarcasm’s still intact,” she says, “But I still have to check you, alright?”

Lena nods and she guesses Kara most likely had harassed her sister just to get her hooked in. If Alex mumbling “-so damn stubborn all the damn time…” under her breath was any indication. 

She’s well aware of the other person in the bed next to hers. The one, that is now also starting to stir into consciousness. Lena had just noticed that J’onn and Nia are in the room as well, near Kara’s bedside. 

She wants to ask how she got here, how Kara found her, how the fuck did a Black Mercy get her? But everything is spinning and her coherence is slowly devolving to exhaustion. Her brain was pushed to its limits with that illusion. 

Which makes panic flare in the back of her head thinking about how Kara had seen her ideal world. 

A world, that her mind had fucking decided should center around her ex. Her ex who just happens to be a superhero. A superhero that pulled her out of her own delusions. 

Oh God, Lena thinks she’s going to throw-up. Alex takes one look at her face and immediately shoves an empty sterile container to her. She dry-heaves unto the bucket as Brainy rubs her back and holds her hair. 

“Fuck,” she whispers as Alex hands her a tissue to wipe her face. “Your vitals are fine. Your brain activity spiked for a few seconds there. But you got out at just the last minute-”

“What the fuck happened, Alex?”

She asks as she tries to sort out all her feelings long enough for Alex to give her a full explanation. 

But it isn’t Alex who answers her. 

“I found you.”

The three words are bullets flying across the room directly shot at Lena.

“Unconscious. On the floor. Black Mercy attached to your chest. That’s what fucking happened.”

Kara sounds like shit.

Was her first thought when she heard Kara speak. She guesses she looks like shit as well, but Lena can’t be certain. Her back was to her as Nia removes the wiring still wrapped around her. Her voice was firm, but Lena knew better. She knows Kara; knows she never really swears; knows when and where Kara uses the Supergirl voice. When she’s scared and she doesn’t want anybody to know. 

“Your pulse was so weak. I- I could barely hear it.”

This second statement is in contrast to Supergirl’s venom. This time words catch in her throat and Lena is fucking thankful that Kara’s back was to her. Because she knows she can’t handle those eyes. But before she could answer, Alex starts to speak, eyes briefly darting to Kara.

Lena doesn’t know whether she should be thankful for the interruption or not. 

“Which is why,” Alex cuts in and making sure to stress her next words, checking that Lena is listening, “I need you to stay here till we find out who did this. And as your doctor I’m saying you need at least 12 hours of rest.”

“What? No, somebody give me my phone. I need to call Jess,” she protests and Alex looks like she’s about to give Lena a piece of her mi—

“Are you kidding me right now? I found you on the floor, thinking you were dead, pulled you out of a parasitic trap and you want to go back to L-Corp? To what? Get killed again?”

This time, Kara’s two steps away from her bed and fuming. It makes Lena...feel...things.

“I have to call Jess—”

“Do you not get it? I spend my days trying so hard not to listen,” She grits out, “ To not to check in on you every single second of every day and then the one time—” Kara’s conviction crumbles, voice breaking, eyes shining.

 “And then,” she falters, voice heavy with emotion and tries to control herself.

“The one time, the one fucking time I decide to break my own rule, what do I hear? I hear nothing, Lena.”

The last part is a whisper. She’s shaking and all eyes are on them now.

“Do you know why? Because your heart-rate was so slow that I couldn’t pick up on it.”

Kara looks like she’s two inches away from imploding. Lena’s heart is pounding and the room falls silent and it feels like it’s just the two of them in the room having a staredown. 

“I— I’m sorry. I—”

I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to care. I’m sorry. 

“Thank you for saving me,” she voices out instead in that calm methodical way she uses when talking in the lab. Amazed at how she sounded because she herself is also less than two inches away from a complete meltdown. 

Kara’s shoulders visibly sag as she holds back tears. Lena knows she should probably say more but... she doesn’t really know what to say. 

She was still processing everything. 

It was so vivid that Lena was half-expecting to see a ring on her finger once she looks down, a stubborn part of her brain insisting that there’s a matching one in a chain around Kara’s neck.

Before Kara can say another emotional heavy statement, Lena turns to Alex instead, “Fine,” she says, agreeing to Alex’s previous order. 

“But I can’t stay here for 12 hours. And also, I need my phone, my tablet and my assistant. I’m helping in the investigation,” she says leaving no room for argument.

Alex looks like she might agree but Kara speaks up again.

“No, no. No, you’re not going near that investigation and you’re staying the 12 hours here,” Kara grunts out, jaw-clenched as Lena looks at her with sharp eyes. 

“You have no right to decide that for me—”

“Not to mention we have to tal— “

They both spit at each other at the same time.

“We have nothing to talk about,” Lena objects and she knows how much of a lie that is, but Kara just won’t fucking back down. 

“Nothing?! You’re calling this nothing?! You’re calling the fact that your ideal world was us married, nothing? You’re telling me—” she trails off and scoffs, pinches the bridge of her nose in disbelief, “You’re unbelievable-”

That was what she meant when she said Kara was two inches away from imploding.

“Supergirl.”

J’onn’s voice seem to bring the both of them back to reality and Lena notices how heavy the air in the room has become, how Nia is standing stiffly at the side, how Alex’s eyes keep flicking between the both of them

“That’s quite enough from the both of you,” J’onn says and Kara whips around to face him, Lena was scared that she was going to deck J’onn for interrupting but Alex also intervenes. 

“J’onn’s right.” She puts a hand on her sister’s shoulder turning her away from J’onn. Looks like she had the same train of thought as Lena. 

“My patient needs her rest. So, all of you get out,” At which Nia nods at her with a sympathetic smile and then Brainy is hugging her whispering, “I’m glad you’re okay.” before leaving the room as well. 

“And that means you too,” Alex emphasizes at Kara, who looks like she’s going to shoot lasers out of her eyes at her sister for suggesting such an incredulous notion. 

But Kara takes a breath, gives Alex a hard look to which Alex merely raises a brow in challenge before taking a step back and speeding out of the room, not sparing Lena another glance. 

Once everyone is gone, Lena collapses back on the bed, letting out a heavy sigh. 

“She changed the timeline, you know. And reality too, I guess. Or at least she tried to.”

“What?”

“Before you two became a thing, before beating Leviathan,” Alex recounts,  “She tried to change the timeline to save your friendship.”

“I’m sorry- What?”

She’s sure she looks pretty absurd with the look on her face right now. Kara did what? Kara did that? How did she not know that? How did she not know Kara literally teared apart at space and time just for her? 

“She struck a bargain with a Fifth-Dimensional imp so she can fix everything. Said she’d rather change reality than face the possibility of having to fight you.”

For a moment she feels she’s going to throw-up again. But then again, after what the both of them just went through, Lena’s not surprised. God knows the lengths she would go through for Kara.  

It feels even more visceral now, not to mention it was Alex who told her. 

“I don’t know what the hell happened between the two of you, but God, Lena she hasn’t been the same since. And I don’t really want to know what kind of bullshit the Black Mercy put you through, but I think both of you could really use their best friend right now.”

Alex sits at the side of her bed, putting a hand atop hers for a moment.

“Just think about it, while you rest,” Alex tells her, squeezes her hand and gets up again. 

“You can’t just tell me those kinds of things and expect me to rest,” Lena retorts, making Alex turn her head back to her. 

She’s glad that Alex doesn’t seem to pick sides. When the break-up happened she was expecting the DEO Director to turn up at her front step with a taser and point canons for breaking her sister’s heart. But Lena was surprised when Kelly turned up instead, telling her that Alex is with Kara, so she’s getting Kelly for the night.

The couple didn’t get anything from Kara or Lena that night, despite their various attempts at coaxing the truth out. The night was sobbed away or in Lena’s case, drank the night away; chugged enough wine that Kelly had forcefully pried the bottle from her hands. 

“Look, Lena, The two of you are really overdue for a talk.”

Alex's words bring her back to reality. She pulls a tablet out and Lena’s work phone is retrieved from her pocket. 

“So, talk,” Alex enunciates as she hands over the devices. 

“Because I am locking you here. No going to L-Corp, no trying to escape with Jess and no overworking till midnight. You get to call your assistant, tell her what happened and then you rest. That’s an order, got it?”

“Got it,” Lena grits out rolling her eyes, hiding the fact that she’s beyond warmed by the gesture. Alex merely shakes her head at her before stepping out. The door slides close behind her and Lena is finally left alone with her thoughts.

Alex has a point. Alex has a great point, her mind screams.

But...not ready, is an understatement. She is not ready to talk to Kara about the break-up, much less about why her Black Mercy induced dream is an overtly domestic version of their love story. 

She decides to file it under ‘Things For Later’ which is probably a bad idea. Her therapist would most likely tell her that. Then again, she doesn’t really think she’d be seeing her therapist any time soon. 

How does one unpack a whole alien parasite attack on your psyche in one session, anyway?

***

Alex finds her stood before ruined slabs of concrete. 

“Any updates?”

“We’re skip-tracing all employees from L-Corp between the graveyard shift and the morning shift.”

“Good, I have a feeling it was an inside job.”

Alex lets out an audible sigh. 

“Something you wanna say?” She says as cement crumbles under her fists and dust particles rain over her red boots. 

“Talk to her. “

Kara snorts. 

“You say that as if I haven’t tried talking.”

Alex puts a hand on her shoulder stopping her from launching another punch. 

“Really talk to her this time,” her sister stresses the words in that classic Alex Danvers’ ‘I’m-serious-so-you-better-fucking-listen’ way. 

She lets the words sit in the forefront of her mind, shoulders dropping, fists and arms following suit. 

“We were married,” She whispers and it takes two seconds for it to register to Alex before she steps closer, an ‘Oh, Kara.’ slipping past her lips. 

“We were married and happy. So happy. It felt so real, Alex, it felt so re—” 

Sobs choke her and Alex closes the gap and she lets herself be tugged in a tight, tight hug. Alex rubs comforting circles on her back as Kara’s chest heaves and tears pour. 

The thing about it was, she didn’t even spend more than one minute in that fantasy world, yet her brain acts as if she’s lived that life. As if she didn’t drop smack right in the middle of a stranger’s bedroom and the first thing she saw was a doppelganger of herself and her ex. In bed. Together. 

It was as if everything came to her in one terrifying moment of clarity. Boots in the corner. Cape haphazardly slung. Lena’s work laptop. Chew toys for dogs. Scattered Science books, then— 

Golden rings, on a finger, in a chain.

Mating bands around wrists.

Wedding portrait. Weddin— 

It all hits her at once faster than a whiplash and harder than a superpowered punch; knocking the  wind out of her lungs, until she realizes she was gasping. 

“Lena, we have to go, please. Please believe me, this isnt-” 

“Real. I know-”

“What’s your surname?”

“Luthor.”

Just like you promised. Promised. Promised. 

Always. 

Alex squeezes tighter and Kara is pulled back from the depths. 

Her sister lets her go and steps back a bit to cup her face in her hands; snotty nose, sniffles and all. 

“Hey, look at me. That wasn’t real. And I know how bad you want it to be real. But Kara, nothing will happen if the both of you keep pulling away from each other. Someone needs to take the plunge.”

“She doesn’t want me, Alex. She ended things.”

Alex takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, shakes her head and then lets it all out in one go. 

“Kara. I don’t really wanna say this to your face while you’re sobbing over me. But,” Alex lets out an exasperated sigh with a shake of her head and then lets out,  “Good fuck, that is the most stupid thing to come out of your mouth. I don’t know how to stress this enough but...her IDEAL world is the two of you playing house. What more do you need? She wants you.”

“But she-” 

Alex holds a finger up to stop her from talking. 

“Nope. No. Listen to me, you are being an idiot. Well, Lena is too. But we’re talking about you right now, so… again, you are being an idiot. Just— Talk to her, Kara. How many times do I have to say that?”

Kara goes from sobbing to shocked to skeptical in the few seconds that Alex was speaking. 

“I- I don’t know, Alex.”

“Kara, she wants you. She’s just scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“You won’t find out if you don’t talk to her.”

Well, that was a great response. 

Alex is hoping that it’s great enough of a response to convince her sister.

***

There’s a blue lump on the side of her bed. 

A blue lump with blonde hair?

Lena rubs the sleepiness off and slowly sits.

Kara, it was Kara. 

Kara was asleep, back hunched, head pillowed on folded arms on the side of her bed.

Lena immediately realizes the uncomfortable position she is in, not to mention the cape that is now roughly bundled at the back of the plastic chair. 

She carefully lays a hand on Kara’s shoulder and shakes her softly. 

“Hey, Kara, wake up, hey,” Lena mutters quietly. 

“Wha- Lena?” Kara startles awake and shoots up from her position.

“I- you looked like you were gonna have a back ache so I-uh,” Lena was grasping for words in that usual way she does when Kara’s around. 

“Here.” She pats the space next to her, “Come on, sit here, climb in. We uh- you’re right, we should talk, might as well do it while we’re both comfy, right?”

She attempts at lighthearted conversation, she already knows the next few minutes are going to be the most emotionally draining moments of her— their life. 

Kara hesitates a bit, before nodding and wordlessly hoisting herself on the bed. 

“So, do uh- do you wanna start or should I?”

Again, she was grasping for words. 

“Go ahead,” Kara says barely above a whisper, Lena was kind of hoping Kara would go first but well, here goes nothing. 

“Thank you for coming to get me, I wasn’t expecting you to come,” Lena confesses, she really was surprised when Kara—the real Kara— showed up to rescue her. 

“I’ll always save you, you know that,” Kara butts in, as if what Lena had said was the most ridiculous thing ever. She guesses it is, to Kara’s ears. She did promise always after all. 

“Yeah, I know I just— for a moment there I just thought...well, never mind what I thought honestly-”

“You thought what? That I don’t care about you anymore? That I won’t fly off the moment I sensed you were in danger?”

Well, she’s on fire today. 

“It’s not like that, you know that,” Lena protests but Kara interrupts again.

“It is like that. You thought just because we’re over I don’t give a shit about you anymore. You of all people, know I can’t—” Kara cuts herself off as if in pain, “I’ll always save you, Lena. Together or not. I care about you,” Kara utters, turning her head to meet Lena’s eyes before facing in front again. 

Lena feels like care is a placeholder for something both of them aren’t capable of saying at present. 

She doesn’t dwell on it too much because Kara is saying something again. 

“I think…” She begins with a voice full of an emotion Lena can’t name [read: don’t want to name.]

“I care about you a little too much and that...”

Lena holds in a breath. 

“And that scares you doesn’t it?” Kara finishes and she looks at her again but this time  around Lena’s cheeks are wet. 

Kara puts a hand atop hers and squeezes and the gesture pulls words from Lena’s throat. 

“You wanted everything so fast, Kara,” she whispers, not really trusting to increase the volume of her voice lest it shakes. 

“You were telling me all these grand plans of settling down and staying together and I was still having a hard time telling you ‘I love you’ and-” her voice breaks, “And even though, you kept saying it was okay, that you were just thinking out loud, I saw how hurt you were whenever I hesitated.”

Lena’s mind briefly flashes to all those nights spent with Kara, beside her and just feeling this massive fucking pressure of living up to what Kara wants. Shy I love you’s and fear, just so much fucking fear...and insecurities screaming at her that she isn’t what’s good for Kara. 

“I- I couldn’t give you what you wanted and I just kept thinking was it me you really wanted? Or was it this domestic bliss that you’ve conjured in your head? Something you can have with somebody else. And it just kept spiraling from there. Thinking somebody better can give you what you want, somebody who’s not tainted, somebody who you can be proud of, somebody who won’t feel so fucking scared of saying ‘I love you’.”

She was aware she was one breath away from sobbing and when Kara moved closer and softly said, “Oh Lena,”

The dam burst. 

“Oh, baby, come here, I’m sorry. Rao, I’m so sorry, I- I didn’t know I made you feel that way, I’m sorry,” Kara murmurs to her as she cups Lena’s cheek and uses her thumb to wipe tears. 

Lena’s eyes were so green at the moment and Kara has to remind herself that they still have a long way to go for tonight. 

“Look at me, I’m sorry I didn’t know, I’m sorry you felt pressured but Lena, there is nobody else I want. You are the one I want, hell I’m pretty sure every me out there in the multiverse is looking for their own Lena right now. You are the best I could ever have.”

The words hit Lena and it just makes her sob harder. Kara fully turns her body to the side to gather Lena in her arms and lets her sob into her neck. 

“I- I left because I thought I couldn’t be enough, I didn’t want to. But everything was happening so fast and you wanted so many things and I couldn’t give it to you and I felt like such a fucking failure,” Lena sobs out, words slightly muffled with how hard Kara is pressing into her. 

“Lena you are not a failure oh, come here. Listen to me, you’re not a failure, you’re not supposed to build your world around me okay? You do it for yourself. You are brilliant. You are not a failure and I am so so sorry that I made you feel that way.”

Kara rubs circles on her back and squeezes around her every so often. It feels like forever that they stayed that way. Kara whispering, “Shh, breathe, breathe with me,” and Lena sniffling into Kara and Kara just wrapping all around her and calming her. When Lena’s sobs start to subside and she feels confident enough in her ability to speak she slowly breaks away from Kara. 

“I’ve been going to therapy,” she begins, “It helped...a lot. Helped clear out a lot of things f-for me. And I think,” She pauses, “Kara, I- I also think you need it more than I do.”

At that Kara’s face scrunches up in confusion. 

“How so?”

“Remember when I told you you wanted so much so fast?”

Kara gives her a nod. 

“I think you were trying to run, darling.”

She knew she should be focusing on what Lena was trying to tell her but she can’t help the little flutter of her heart at the pet name. 

“Run? Run from what?”

“Kara,” Lena starts, unsure about how she should really go about all this.

“You went through hell and back trying to fix the universe, you watched another home of yours get erased from existence. And not to mention that before and during all of that, the two of us were fighting. And then to make things worse at the end of it all, you get ejected into a universe you barely know with my brother as its savior.”

Lena lays out all the facts methodically, slowly, carefully but just blunt enough to make Kara realize that all that trauma should not just be brushed aside.

“You went through a lot.”

A lot, doesn’t even begin to describe the enormity of everything the both of them went through. But Lena supposes they can unpack that another time. There’s a pause and Lena watches Kara take a breath.

“Kara, I think you jumped into a relationship with me because it made you feel good. It made you forget about all the recent hardships you just went through. And I guess maybe I did too, you know? We both just wanted to feel some crumb of peace, but God, did we go about it the wrong way.”

Lena watches her words sink in, how Kara stops, blinks slowly only to take a sudden breath as tears slowly track down her face. 

“I- No. I didn’t. No, you’re wro- Lena, I-” Kara fails to tie together a sentence as tears start to fall down. It’s easy when everything else is in your head, when you can replay memories and cover them in filters made by your own brain, but when someone else puts it on the screen for you? That’s a different matter altogether. Nobody had shown Kara the severity of her trauma before and now it’s taking its toll.

“Oh, Kara. Come here, come here,” Lena coos, this time it was her pulling Kara in. Kara melts into her and Lena feels the telltale signs of heavy sobs come through. 

“I don’t know- I-”

“Shh, it’s okay, Kara, it’s okay.” 

She lets Kara fall apart in front of her. She knows those tears are oceans of their own, those drops carry the memory of a fallen planet, an entire culture, stories, people, loved ones. Every drop is a person Supergirl had failed to save, another universe, another home. Every drop is every lie she ever told Lena and all of the pain there was when she was gone. 

“I’m sorry, Lena, I’m sorry.”

She can’t beg forgiveness from an extinct race or a wiped out universe but Lena? She could still have Lena. 

***

Alex finds them curled tightly together in the Med Bay come morning. She kind of wants to cry in relief at the sight. 

Finally, fucking finally. 

She doesn’t have the heart to bother them so she grabs them an extra blanket and tucks both in, exiting with a small smile to her lips. 

***

They both wake up to the sound of laughter, the perpetrators— a couple of low-rank agents— stop in the tracks at the sight of a disheveled Supergirl, scowling madly at them with one Lena Luthor tucked in her arms. 

“Uh- sorry, we’ll just uh-” 

The agents bolt out of the room immediately, letting Kara slump back into the pillow. 

“Hi,” Lena croaks out with a rough voice, eyes puffy from last night. 

Snippets from last night immediately flashing in Kara’s brain. 

Kara holding Lena. 

Lena holding Kara

Teary apologies

Catching-up on each other.

Talking till yawns interrupted their words. 

Kissing. 

More kissing. 

More kiss-

You get the picture. 

“Good morning,” Kara replies with a shy smile. 

“Is scaring agents one of Supergirl’s many talents?” Lena teases, as Kara scoffs fully turning unto her side to face Lena, hand casually brushing a stray strand of her on Lena’s face

“Serves them right for just walking in-” Kara stops mid-sentence, fingers freezing and her eyes turn hesitant, “Sorry, is this okay?”

Because even though last night had happened even though they’ve talked until words could no longer name the depth of their feelings and they turned to silence instead, Kara is still unsure. Hesitant. Wary of giving too much too soon or asking for too much too soon.

But the most difficult part is over and they both realize this as the sun from outside filter through the many wide windows of the DEO, as Lena’s next words ring about in the warmth of the morning.

“Kara, it’s okay,” Lena answers her, catching Kara’s frozen hand and leaning into the touch, pressing closer to Kara’s face, noses touching, lips a breath apart. 

“In fact, it’s very much okay.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

The first tell was the lack of a body next to her. The second was the freezing cold. Her bed was almost never cold these days. She’s grown used to sharing her bed with a Kryptonian heater, and so, to wake up from a nightmare alone in bed was now an unusual occurrence. Unusual nough to make her panic. 

She sits up, disoriented from her nightmare. Lena groggily registers a low melodic humming crackling from the baby monitor on her nightstand. 

“Kara,” she whispers into the quiet of the room, “Please come back to me.” 

The humming from the monitor begins to sound distant as it gets louder to Lena’s ears; drifting nearer and nearer to the bedroom. 

The door opens and Kara strolls in, messy bun, sleepy voice and all. In her arms a squirming, kicking, sniffling, very much awake bundle fits.

“She doesn’t want to sleep, I tried everythi-” Kara whines and then stops as she takes in Lena’s racing heartbeat, shaking lips and shining eyes. 

“Oh no, did you have a nightmare? I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s okay, Kara. Just— Come here? Please?”

Kara shuffles quickly towards the bed; Lena lifts the comforter, making room, the bed dipping as her wife climbs in.

“You okay?” she asks, once she’s settled down next to Lena. She continues rocking her arms as an attempt to get their daughter to sleep for the nth time tonight. Her wife doesn’t still doesn’t answer her, although she doesn’t miss how Lena slightly calms at her presence.

“Lena, hey, you with me?”

“Kara?”

“I’m here, I’m here.”

“Thi- this is real, right?”

Because sometimes, there are nights where dreams feel all too real and pain comes rearing at you as if it all happened yesterday. Because after all these years, Lena still carries fear inside of her; fear that none of this is real, fhat Kara doesn’t really love her, that she’ll never be good enough, that she’ll be abandoned again. Fear that all of this is just a figment of her imagination. 

“Oh, Lena. Come here, I’m going to pass her unto you alright?” 

Lena’s eyes snap up to hers for a minute in hesitation but she finds herself slowly nodding. Kara wouldn’t give their daughter over if she isn’t sure Lena could handle it. She slowly transfers their child to Lena’s arms. 

“Do you feel her warmth?” 

“Mm-hmm.”

“Do you feel her weight?”

“She’s real, Lena. I’m real,” Kara says as she wraps her arms around them, cradling her wife and child close. 

“She’s getting heavy.”

“Yeah, yeah that she is. This is real, Lena.”

“Here,” she gently puts a pillow beneath Lena’s arms for support as she slowly grabs one hand and puts it right over her heart. 

“Feel this? Can you feel it?” 

Lena does, Lena can and she nods and it’s real and Kara’s heartbeats are steady under her palm; each beat an echo of Lena’s name. She’s certain of that, because she’s pretty sure her heartbeats are all echoes of Kara’s name again and again and again.

“This is real.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter ten: "Set me free my honey bee"

Word count: 11,6K

Summary: Let's jump 19 months in time and see how painful it has turned for reader and Spencer to hide their feelings for each other. JJ leaves the team, and a new member joins the BAU.

Warnings: Angst and hurt. Fools being assholes. Cursing, of course. Mention of CM cases and spoilers on S06E11.

A/N: Please don't hate me. Just remember things usually look like the shit before they get worst, and then everything is better. I hope.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

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(Y/N)'s point of view

Time is a weird thing. I remember when I was in school and time didn't pass fast enough. Semesters were eternal. It felt it had been years by the time summer vacation arrived. The complete opposite happened to me at the BAU. Suddenly, time passed too quickly. A whole year and a half went by in the blink of an eye.

I told Spencer about it, and he sent me a paper published by Professor Adrian Bejan that presented an argument based on the physics of neural signal processing. He hypothesizes that, over time, the rate at which we process visual information slows down, and this is what makes time 'speed up' as we grow older.

My answer was that I thought it happened 'cos as we grew older, we did things that actually gave us joy, which made us feel the time was passing faster than before. So we argued a whole Saturday afternoon about it and created our own theories for that event.

My theory was my personal favorite, 'cos it was the only one that could easily explain why so much time had passed in the BAU, and it felt like it had been just a few weeks.

It hadn't been easy, though. Those nineteen months had been filled with some of the worst situations we had been through as a team.

After I got shot, JJ finally admitted her relationship with Will and got pregnant. That was shocking, the first BAU baby: Henry.

Sadly, Henry was the only little good thing that happened that year. Because to sum it up, a bunch of awful shit happened to all of us: Hotch was in a car explosion that almost killed him. Spencer and Prentiss got trapped in an undercover mission into an underground cult to investigate child abuse, and Emily was beaten up pretty badly. Also, Spencer got infected with anthrax and nearly died. That was probably the most agonizing moment I had lived since the whole Tobias Hankel situation two years earlier.

Also, that year Prentiss had to investigate the case of the death of one of her best friends, and I was in a pretty nasty fight with an unsub that got me out of the field for three weeks. Not to mention, Spencer was shot in the leg.

Hotch was stabbed by the only unsub that has actually won against the BAU: Foyet. He attacked Aaron and got on the lose for months, but we all knew his next move as torture Hotch's family. That's why his ex-wife Haley and his little son Jack had to go into protective custody, and he couldn't see them for months while we tried to catch Foyet.

Things didn't go as planned. And without a doubt, the worst moment that year was the day Haley died. Foyet killed her, and Aaron lost it. He literally killed him with his bare hands the moment he got him. For a solid week, I was sure Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be the unit chief anymore. Strauss actually opened an investigation related to everything that happened that day. But in the end, somehow, she understood the "bloodbath" that had happened in that house was all in Foyet's hands.

However, there's no way to deny that the whole team had changed in many ways after that year. The concept of being a family was now more present than ever. After chasing Foyet for months, we were all onto him as if he was chasing our own family, because he was.

You don't work this kind of job with a team like mine and don't get attached to them. And this goes beyond how in love I was with Spencer. The (Y/N) who first stepped into the BAU, scared to show her true self, was long gone. And despite my deepest fears, letting them in and showing them who I really was had been one of the smartest decisions I have ever made.

Do you want to know which was my stupidest decision? Falling in love with Spencer Reid. It hadn't actually been my choice. I just didn't fight the feeling either. I don't think I could have even if I tried, though. Those nineteen months brought us so close, my mom thought we were living together, and the teasing from our friends was so common we weren't even affected by it.

For Christ Sakes, even Strauss thought we were dating! She forced us to attend a seminar on fraternization, concerned after she realized we always took our vacation together. We had a lot of fun trips, though. First, we visited his mom and had an amazing weekend in Las Vegas. Then we took a few days off after the anthrax incident and went to Hawaii. Picture Spencer Reid in an "all-inclusive," drinking all the coffee and eating all the pastries possible while reading a million books underneath an extra-large umbrella. We had fun that week, did some local touring, but most of all, sleeping in and relaxing. Spencer hates the beach but got those tickets anyway.

Did everybody think we were a couple? Yes

Did it help that we shared rooms, 'cos we were already used to it? No

Did it feel like a honeymoon without sex? Yes

Could I stop thinking about sex with Spencer? No.

And all that led us to the nightmare our relationship was going to become.

Penelope Garcia was drunk. She kept pouring shots and pushing them to us. Emily was wasted as well. But she kept acting like the classy lady she is. Not like JJ. My poor baby had mascara smeared under her eyes after crying for like an hour.

We found out she was leaving the team, and it was a hard blow on us. And by hard, I mean the worst thing that had ever happened to us. We had suffered without JJ when she was on maternity leave. And we struggled without her. Now knowing the Pentagon had taken her away from the BAU was torture.

We had a goodbye party for her at Rossi's, but this was our goodbye girl's night, and neither of us was holding anything back.

We had cried, we had sung sad songs. We drank all the champagne, wine, and vodka we could find. And now, holding our tequila shots, we knew it was time to call it a night.

- "I just love you girls so much,"- JJ whispered, crying- I don't wanna work without you.

- "Boo, come here!!"- I opened my arms and wrapped them around my friend, kissing the top of her hair a few times- "I love you too, and you are going to come back so soon you won't have time to miss us. You'll see. Papa Rossi and Dada Hotch are gonna fix everything."

I was drunk. Seriously drunk. But that wasn't the reason why I was so sweet with JJ. The truth is, I was broken-hearted. Like Penelope and Reid, I didn't manage change very well, and the fact that JJ was forced to leave made me feel frustrated and mad. But most of all, it made me think of every time I had been a little bitch with her during the years. And I regretted each one of them.

- "And we won't be far!"- Emily added and caressed JJ's arm, smiling kindly- "You will still be in town, and we will not leave you alone"- JJ chuckled and nodded.

- "I know, girls. Shit, I love you all so much!"

- "We love you too!"- Penelope sobbed and moved closer, wrapping the three of us in her arms.

- "Please, take care!"- JJ wiped off the tears from her eyes and looked at us- "Emily, don't do anything stupid! Don't rush in the field, and please don't take your fucking vest off!!"

- "I won't! I promise!"

- "You have to live to be Unit chief one day!"- JJ added, and Prentiss widened her eyes, shocked.

- "That's not really my gold."

- "But you'd be queen, baby!!"- Jareau added and turned to Penelope- "And you, please make sure Hotch eats. I kept a stack of granola bars on my desk to keep him fueled during the day. He usually forgets lunchtime and skips dinner, so..."

- "Don't worry, JJ,"- Penelope nodded, and we all felt our heartbreak a little thinking about all the things JJ did in her daily basics to take care of the team, and we didn't even know.

- "How are we going to survive without you?"- I mumbled, pouting. JJ chuckled and held my hand.

- "You are a rock, and you will do a fantastic job keeping this team together. Just, please, can you and Spencer start dating now?"

I wide opened my eyes and stared at JJ. The comment surprised me. I shouldn't, 'cos the whole "you and Spencer should start dating" joke was getting old. Only this time, JJ wasn't joking. She held both my hands and looked right into my eyes.

- "(Y/N), he loves you"- I was about to argue with her, but she covered my mouth with her Cheetos smelling hand.

- "Don't say a word! Spencer loves you so much you really must be blind not to see it. And I know you love him too. It's implied in all the little things you do for him every day. So don't take it for granted. Don't think this will last forever 'cos look at me! A week ago, I was happily working at the BAU, and now I'm drinking at my goodbye party! So don't waste any more time! You are in love with Spencer, and he loves you! It doesn't take a profiler to see it. So please! Act on it!"

There was a dramatic silence after. I didn't know how to break it. I could just joke around, but somehow, it didn't feel right. It had been too quiet for too long, and that made everything harder to deny. Finally, Emily put her hand on mine, just like JJ was still doing, and smiled at me.

- "There's nothing to be ashamed of, (Y/N). You are not the first person to fall for her best friend."

- "And the Junior G Man loves you so much,"- Penelope added, landing her hand on our hands too.

- "As his friend"- I corrected and sighed. I guess that was it. After three years, I could probably start facing my feelings in front of my friends.

- "No, (Y/N)"- Garcia tried to argue, but I shook my head and stood up, 'cos all that sudden attention and affection was bothering me.

- "PG, I was in Hawaii with the man, sharing a room, walking around in a bikini, and he didn't do anything."

- "That's because he is shy!"- Emily excused him right away.

- "My bikini leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. Do you know what he said when he first saw me on it?"- I looked at my friend and poured us another round of tequila- "And I quote, "I don't think I brought enough books. This one is too interesting."

I air quoted with my fingers as we spoke, and the three of them looked at me, speechless. I made my point and drank my shot, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. My friends opened their mouths but didn't produce a word. I sighed and looked at them.

- "But he hates the beach, and he took you there anyway,"- Emily pointed out

- "Did he give you his speech about how he hates sandy food?"- JJ asked me, and I chuckled, nodding.

- "And about pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, and of course, the real reason he hates the beach: drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces."

- "And the man took you to the beach!"- Penelope argued.

- "But he didn't do anything! he didn't make his move, didn't even hold my hand!!"- I nearly shouted- "That's why, among a lot of reasons, is how I know Spencer is not interested in me! If only I'd tell you all the shit we've been through!"

- "Please!! Tell us!!"- Garcia begged and grabbed one of my legs- "I won't live another day 'cos I won't be able to deal with the mystery!"

- "No! 'cos you are gonna tell Morgan"- I slurred- "And he is going to embarrass and tease my honey bunny, and my honey bunny is gonna get all nervous and nervous around me, and we are never going to..."- I stopped talking and looked at my friends. I was sharing too much.

- "(Y/N)?"- Prentiss looked at me, but I just shook my head and looked down.

- "I think I better go home."

- "No, you can't drive like this,"- JJ argued immediately and held my hand- "I'm not gonna let you go intoxicated. Will is gonna come pick me up, and we'll drop you in your place."

I nodded at her and stayed still. My friends smiled at me, and slowly very slowly, I leaned on JJ's shoulder and rested my head on it.

- "I love you, boo,"- I whispered, and she giggled- "I don't think I'll stay sane without you there with us anymore."

- "Hotch is gonna manage to get her back,"- Penelope assured me, and I just nodded.

- "Meanwhile, we won't replace you, and if anyone tries to push someone new into the team, we are not gonna take them,"- I added, feeling JJ's hand holding mine.

- "Don't be mean with people just 'cos you miss me. If there's a new teammate, it won't be their fault I was pushed out of the BAU."

- "But, JJ,"- I tried to argue, but she shook her head right away.

- "No, (Y/N). You can't be mean to people just because."

Clearly, my friend hoped I could be the better person. The simple question was: did I want to be the better person? Right there, drunk and sad, the answer was no.

Spencer's point of view

I kept finding myself awake at four in the morning, walking around my apartment, not able to read or to write anything. For the last months, at least twice or three times each week, I would stay awake, no matter how tired I felt, and I would haunt my own apartment, listening to my vinyl records.

The sudden lack of sleep wasn't really something weird in me. I have always been nocturnal. Besides, the news of JJ's departure had hit us all pretty hard. I had already shared my share of tears and tried to manage the fury that caused me to know we were helpless to the government's decisions. There was nothing we could do, neither us, Hotch, or even Strauss. Not that she would if she could.

My family was in crisis, and all we could do was hope for the best and stay together.

It was scary losing JJ. It made me think of all the things that could go wrong every day on the field daily. It was bad that we could get hurt or even die on our work. But that they divided us that way made no sense. Like Rossi said: our loss was someone else's winning, and in the FBI, no one cared if we lost.

I poured myself a cup of herbal tea and inhaled the smell of it. It smelled like home. Like (Y/N). She had some of her favorite teas in my apartment. She had a bunch of all her things there, actually. When mom visited, she thought we were living together. She is still sure we are dating and that I don't wanna tell her. I don't longer argue with her about it. It's useless, and it somehow feels good to imagine in another world. It was actually true.

That year my feelings for my best friend had grown in a way that made it all more difficult to deal with. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her. She was in everything I did, in each and every one of my thoughts. I could hear her laughter in my head, like a record playing my favorite song over and over again.

When she was out there in the field, I couldn't stop running all the probabilities of her getting hurt, and most of the time, I would do my best to keep her safe, knowing it could somehow interfere with the case.

Hotch had called me to his office a few times, aware something was going with me. He could read it on my face, I guess. It was scary to know everybody could read my feelings for (Y/N) but her. And it was sad to think of the worst: that she knew how much I loved her, but she didn't feel the same, and she was just being my friend 'cos she was never going to be anything else but my friend.

I drank my tea and hummed the song that sounded in my house at four in the morning: Love is a losing game. Seemed pretty accurate for my mood. I remember the day I got that vinyl. We were out with (Y/N), Frank, and Lu, looking for a present for Mikey's birthday, and we ended up in a record store, getting a million vinyl records for ourselves.

- "Are you getting all those?"- (Y/N) asked me and looked at the seven albums in my hand.

- "Yes, why? I can't?"- I answered and raised an eyebrow.

- "Sassy!"- she giggled and grabbed them- "You can get all the albums you want. But I have to give my approval first. No, you are not getting this!"- she grabbed The Beatles' Revolver and left it aside.

- "What? Why? It's only one I need to complete my collection."

- "I know, but when you get it, you'll force me to listen to it, and I don't like the Beatles,"- she argued, and I just shook my head, taking the album again.

- "Sorry, chipmunk, I'm buying it."

- "Fine. I won't go to your house for the next couple of weeks then."

- "Why don't you tell me which album you wanna listen to when you are in my house then?"- I looked at her, smiling at me and looking for a record on the shelves.

- "This! You need some Amy in your life."

And I did. Now, at four in the morning, all alone walking around, I could see her in my apartment, singing along to her favorite songs while cooking dinner, feeling at home. I wished she was there, with me, doing nothing. Watching tv, or reading. Just hanging out. I knew it wasn't healthy being in love with my friend, seeing her every day, and also hanging out with her every chance I got. But even when I knew she was never going to love me the way I did, I was going to take every chance I had to enjoy her company. If that was all I was going to get.

My phone took me from my thoughts, and I quickly walked to my room to get it. I thought it was Hotch announcing a case, but it was JJ.

- "Hey! JJ, everything ok? Is Henry ok?"

- "Yes, hi Spence. We are all ok."

- "It's four in the morning."

- "Sorry I woke you up... I just..." - she made a pause and sighed at the other side of the line- "Spencer, you know I love you."

- "I love you too. You are one of my best friends. Is everything ok?"

- "Yes, I just wanted to... remember a bunch of years ago, when you asked me to that football game?"

A million years had passed since the one and only time I had asked JJ out. It was the only move I tried to do on her, and I failed incredibly. It was awkward, and she had no idea it was a date, so she invited Garcia to come along. I was so embarrassed I never even mentioned that single event ever again, and our friendship grew after.

- "Yes, I remember, JJ. Why?"

- "When you asked me out, did you have a crush on me?"

- "JJ, are you drunk?"- I had to ask 'cos that conversation was starting to scare me.

- "Yes, but that's not why I'm talking about this. Just answer the questions, Spence. When you asked me out on that date, did you have a crush on me?"

- "Yes, I did."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed to face feelings that were far forgotten.

- "You see, I had a crush on you too back then,"- JJ said and chuckled- "But neither of us acted on it, and life continued, and now I'm in love with Will, and we have a baby, and you are his godfather."

Of all the things I thought I would listen to that day, never in a million years, I imagined I would hear JJ drunk telling me she had a crush on me when we first met.

- "Now, do you want that to happen again?"- she asked, and I didn't get it, 'cos I was still trying to process what I had just heard. So I might have had a relationship with her if only I had said something, act on it. Kiss her, ask her out again?

- "What?"

- "Spence. Do you want to miss the chance to be with the girl you like?"

- "No, but JJ, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, frustrated, and used that tone of voice with me, that very maternal specific tone of voice she used to explain things she knew were hard for me to follow.

- "When you like someone, Spence, you have to tell her. 'Cos sometimes, life gets in the way, and if you don't do what you have to do to be happy, no one will do it for you."

- "Are you ok, JJ?"

- "Yes, Spence, I'm ok. I'm home with Will. We just got here after dropping (Y/N) off her place."

- "How was she?"

- "She might have had a few too many drinks, but she'll be ok in the morning. Maybe she'd appreciate it if you brought her coffee and donuts."

- "She doesn't like donuts,"- I corrected her- "She likes cupcakes and brownies."

- "Sorry. Coffee and cupcakes... just tell her you love her, Spence. She deserves to know."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. I didn't get why JJ was telling me that, but I knew I didn't want to talk about it. So I said good night and hung up.

What was the point of telling me we could have been a couple of years had passed already? Why didn't she say a thing before? Or even better, why didn't she ever say a word about it at all? So I missed the chance to be happy with her. Great. One more regret to add to my list.

I laid on my bed and tried to remember that date. I was so nervous that day, my hands shook inside my pockets as I walked to JJ's door. She looked beautiful that day, especially when she looked at me and announced she had invited Penelope to join us.

That was when I realized she would never see me as a proper date, just like a friend. And I learned to make my peace with that over the years. My crush for JJ lasted a few more months, but it vanished when I fell for (Y/N). What if she had never joined the team? Would I have been in love with JJ forever? Jeniffer always made me feel like her little brother, and I guess that's the mechanic that works for us. We were good friends ever since we met, and yes, I had a crush on her, but we work more like siblings than anything else.

What was the point in telling me I had missed a chance with her now? I just couldn't see it.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The next few weeks were us trying to survive without JJ. The team was making the best it could, but it was hard. Penelope took the lead during the second case without JJ. She turned into our tech analyst and communication liaison, only to collapse under the pressure of having two roles.

No one was going to replace JJ. We all knew it. Literally, no one, 'cos Hotch decided he and Garcia were going to split the job, and we were all going to collaborate as much as we could, 'cos we were a team. A family. And that's what families do.

And families were the target of the unsub we were hunting the day everything changed. Again. I hadn't recovered from the departure of JJ when Rossi and Hotch walked to the bullpen and introduced us to Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver.

My nemesis.

- "Agent trainee Seaver"- Rossi smiled at her like a proud father and looked at us as we stood up, wondering who she was- "Supervisory Special Agent Prentiss, (Y/L/N), and Morgan."

- "I've heard so much about the three of you,"- she said with the sweetest tone of voice I had ever heard. Something about that felt odd.

- "I hope it is all good- Morgan flirted right away, of course."

- "Very, sir."

- "Anything specific? I mean about me in particular?"- I turned to him and failed in holding back my chuckles.

- "Please, don't encourage him, or he will never stop talking,"- I said, and Derek elbowed me playfully. Seaver smiled at us and even blushed a little bit. She was nervous.

- "Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she is remedial training with an injury."

Hotch announced. And my stomach tightened right away. There was something wrong with that whole scene. I could feel it in my guts. But I didn't know why?

- "Concussion. Hand to hand got a little out of control."- Seaver explained and kept a silly smile on her face.

- "How's the other guy?"- Prentiss asked.

- "Don't ask."

- "I was remediated in the academy also,"- Spencer said, walking over us, and suddenly I understood why I had a bad feeling about everything.

- "Agent Seaver, Dr. Reid."

As soon as I heard Rossi say those words, there was a part of me who just wanted to hold Spencer's hand and push him away from her, even before they could say hi. She looked at him like he was eye candy, and I clenched my knuckles as I stared at the scene.

- "Uhm... What was your issue?"- she asked him, and I could see the pink on her cheek intensifying as he looked at her, confused.

- "What was my issue? Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's alley. You know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

Seaver stared at him and kept nodding, though I wondered if she was listening to what he had said. Spencer looked exceedingly handsome that day. His hair was very short for the first time in years, and he still had no idea how to comb it, so it was all over the place, making him look as hot as fuck.

I was so in love with him, I didn't know what to do with those feelings at all. It was hard working with Reid at that point. I just wanted to kiss him.

- "Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico,"- Aaron announced, and I couldn't help but question him right away.

- "She is?"

- "As a consultant."- he assured me.

- "On?"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at Hotch, wondering what a trainee agent could help us with as a consultant.

- "She has a unique perspective,"- Rossi tried to explain, but it sounded like bullshit.

- "They don't know?"- Seaver turned to the elderly agents, and they shook their heads.

- "Well, we weren't sure how you wanted to,"- David whispered.

- "Uh... Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp"- Ashley was supposed to explain the circumstances of her consultancy to the whole team, but she just looked at Spencer as she spoke.

- "As in the Redmond ripper, Charles Beauchamp?"- he asked her, and suddenly, it clicked. It was like my whole body was telling me I couldn't be close to her for a reason.

- "That's him,"- she whispered and kept her eyes on my best friend as he continued talking.

- "He killed 25 women over 10 years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"- and David nodded.

- "Hotch was on that team, too."

- "Based on her life experience, we were hoping that agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting,"- Hotch announced and looked at us, but none of us said a word.

I kept my eyes glued at my feet the whole time Aaron talked. Then, Spencer nodded and walked with Seaver and Rossi out to the hangar. I couldn't even blink. I think I was in shock.

- "Her father was a serial killer?"- Prentiss asked Hotch, not getting what he was thinking.

- "That's definitely a different set of parameters,"- Morgan added. Neither of them was sold on the idea, which made me feel a little bit better.

- "I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case,"- Hotch was clear, and Prentiss and Morgan nodded.

- "You got it."

But I disagreed with that.

- "(Y/N), is everything ok?"- Aaron asked me, and I tried my best to lie and be cool.

- "Yeah, I'm ok."

- "Ok. We work this like any other case. Wheels up in twenty."

But everything was far from being ok.

I sat next to Spencer on the jet, and we reviewed the case files together. Hotch briefed us, and we all pretended it wasn't weird having Seaver there. And I guess we had to pretend it wasn't odd knowing her dad was a serial killer.

- "You are very young, (Y/N),"- she said and smiled at me. She was sitting across from Spencer and me, and you could tell she had been trying to join the conversation for a few minutes now.

-" Twenty eight,"- I answered and looked at the files again.

- "And you, doctor?"

- "You can call me Reid. I'm twenty eight too,"- Spencer cut her a short, awkward, and nervous smile, and I turned to him.

- "Honey, did I leave my Mets jersey at your house?"- it was the only question that came to my mind at that minute. It was completely random, but somehow it showed a part of our dynamic that Ashley didn't know. Our friendship. Our closeness.

- "Yes, I found it last night,"- he answered and sipped his coffee- "I was gonna bring it over, but then I remembered you always borrow all my sweaters when you are home or when you stay over, so I thought maybe it was a good idea to keep it at my place."

- "I don't know, Batsy. It's my favorite sweatshirt- I raised an eyebrow, and I'm pretty sure I even flirted a little bit."

- "So? You need to keep one there."

- "But I like wearing your clothes when we are at your place. It's extra large and extra comfy."

- "Is that why you keep taking my sweaters back to your house?"- he asked and chuckled- "Last Sunday, I found four of my sweaters in your closet."

- "Sorry, I'm not even sorry,"- I said and laughed- "And what were you doing in my closet?"

- "Lucy, Ricky, can we focus on the case?"- Morgan asked and waved at us with one silly grin on his face- "We love hearing your adorable daily adventures, but we've got a psycho killer to catch."

Spencer blushed and flustered right away. I stuck out my tongue at Morgan and just shook my head. The way Seaver looked at Reid was still driving me nuts, but I felt I had shown her he was mine, childishly.

It's embarrassing to think that's not the most childish thing I did around her those days. Or in the weeks to follow. But I didn't like Ashley, and I didn't want her around my team. And it wasn't just her constant flirting with Spencer. It was the fact her father had killed my mother's sister when she was in college, and I was making my best effort to keep that fact aside from work. My personal life had to stay out of the FBI, especially when working a case.

I had to do some serious mental work trying to remember it wasn't Ashley's fault her father was a sick bastard. She hadn't hurt my family, and her father had ruined her life too. It wasn't her fault.

But one thing is knowing. Another thing is being rational about it. Spoiler: I wasn't so rational about it.

- "So, (Y/N). Do you like working at the BAU?"- Ashley asked me and looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were in the SUV, and Prentiss was driving. I was in the back seat, trying to ignore her, but she made it impossible.

- "Yes, very much,"- I answered and nodded, not taking my eyes from the window.

- "Everybody is very friendly,"- Seaver added and made a pause. I don't know if she wanted me to say something or if she was trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say.

- "Yes, they are,"- I humored her, and she quickly responded.

- "Are you and Spencer dating?"- I could feel the blood raising my cheeks as she spoke. And Prentiss flashed me a look through the mirror as Ashley continued talking.

- "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude. I just wondered because of the fraternization policy."

- "Right. Sure. Of course."

Those three words were meant to let Ashley know I wasn't buying her bullshit, So I literally spit them.

- "Spencer is my best friend. We are not dating."

Facing that simple truth had never been harder before, especially after how I saw Ashley's face light up.

- "You just seem to be so close."

- "Oh, they are close,"- Emily smiled at me and winked- "They are so close, they sometimes freak us out."

- "We freak you out?"- I raised an eyebrow and carefully hit her arm, pretending to be upset. But honestly, I was glad she was teasing me.

- "I am just saying, we are all pretty suspicious about you two. I am actually surprised you didn't share rooms tonight. They usually share rooms."- Emily explained to Seaver.

- "He was paired with Morgan,"- I pouted and looked at my phone. I thought maybe I could send him a funny text. I actually wanted to hang out with him.

- "He is very nice,"- Ashley added- "I mean, everybody is nice."

- "Yes, you mentioned it"

I was clearly not being nice. Seaver nodded and looked at the files again. I assumed she was trying to find a way to keep asking about Spencer, and I was making my best not to kill her.

- "Working with a genius must be somehow intimidating,"- she said after a few minutes. Damn it, she wasn't going to let that subject go.

- "It's fun working with Spencer,"- Prentiss said, trying to humor Seaver. And mostly, I guess trying to ease my mood and keep me from killing the trainee agent.

- "I'm sure it is,"- Seaver added. I hated her.

- "He is more than just a genius, he is a nerd."- Emily pointed out and chuckled at her words, making Seaver giggle too. I looked at my book again, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on it at all. He was my nerd. Mine.

- "Well, it's very refreshing to be with a group who trusts and works so well together,"- she added- "I had never felt less judged and more welcome in my entire life."

I know I should have felt sorry for her. But I honestly couldn't. That was the day I realized I wasn't the good person I thought I was. There was a part of me that was a scumbag. I'm guessing knowing that is pretty helpful and positive 'cos you can work on your flaws. But I wasn't planning on working on anything at that minute, though. I just wanted to break Seaver's face.

Spencer's point of view

I didn't like working without JJ. I've never been good with change, and that was a massive alteration of our routine. I missed her, and adding Ashley to the team made things even weirder for me, even for a case. I didn't want to be judgemental, but her father was a serial killer. Of course, that would make things weird.

Besides, everybody kept bugging me, teasing me, trying to see if I liked Seaver. Penelope called while we were on the case and started taunting me, saying she knew I thought Ashley was cute. I could see she was beautiful, but I couldn't see her that way. And I didn't want anyone to say those kinds of things around (Y/N).

Why did I care so much?

I didn't want to face it 'cos I knew it was completely platonic, but I didn't want (Y/N) to think I had a crush on Seaver. I knew my best friend didn't have romantic feelings for me, and I also knew I wasn't going to make a move on her or anything. But I didn't want things to change more than they already had. And most of all, I didn't want anything to alter my dynamic with (Y/N).

But at the same time, somehow, it felt everything was already different between us.

- "Hey, honey bunny,"- (Y/N) walked to me and handed me a cup of coffee- "I thought you might need one of these."

- "You are a lifesaver,"- I whispered and sipped the cup. It was perfect.

We were on the jet on our way back home. The whole team was mostly quiet. The mood was weird. Ashley had done something quite reckless earlier and nearly got herself killed. She walked to the unsub's house all alone, not knowing he was our guy. She almost died, and none of us can even imagine what went through her head to do such a thing.

Rossi and Hotch walked to her. (Y/N) looked at me, and I could read on her face that both of us knew what was going to happen.

Ashley was alone when David sat in front of her, and Hotch stood in the middle of the aisle. Maybe that had been insensitive of us. Neither of us tried to contain her. Neither of us really knew her that well. Or at all, as a matter of fact.

- "You were not supposed to go off on your own."- Hotch went straight to the point.

- "I know,"- she whispered, and I could see how (Y/N)'s face changed. I tried to read her, but all I was able to see was... anger? I had to be wronged. She had no reason to be mad at Ashley.

- "You could have been killed,"- Hotch crossed his arms on his chest and stared at her.

- "I know that, too."

- "Why, Ashley? You're smarter than that"- Rossi sounded like a worried father. I didn't look at him 'cos I kept my eyes on (Y/N)'s, still trying to read her emotions. But what I saw made no sense. She really looked like she was angry at Ashley. Like she hated her.

- "I never got to apologize to any of the victims. The families of the women my father killed. I thought if I could just apologize to one family that had been hurt that way..."

And that was when (Y/N) snapped. She jumped from her seat and walked to Seaver. Aaron and David looked at her surprised, and Morgan turned to me, taking off his headphones. Neither he nor Prentiss got what was happening until that moment.

- "Ok. Shoot!"- (Y/N) sat right in front of Seaver, next to David, and looked at her. But she didn't get it.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You just said you wanted to apologize to one of the families. So go ahead. Try."

The silence on the jet was so deep and awkward it felt no one was ever going to talk again.

- "I'm sorry, (Y/N). But I don't get what you are implying,"- Ashley's voice was a whisper. I knew she was sad and affected, embarrassed even. But I also knew (Y/N), and I could read it on her face. She wasn't joking.

- "You said you wanted to apologize to the family of one of your dad's victims, so go ahead. Apologize to me."

My first instinct was to stand up, which I did. But I froze and didn't take a step closer to (Y/N) when I noticed the severe and cold look in her eyes. I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew she wasn't bluffing.

- "Why should I... apologize to you?"- Ashley asked her, and her voice broke at a certain point, probably scared of the answer.

- "Your dad killed my mother's older sister. She was in college,"- (Y/N) spit each word with hate and looked at Ashley, waiting for her reply. But Seaver didn't know what to do. She widened her eyes and stayed still. She barely kept her breathing steady.

- "(Y/N), maybe we should let Seaver rest,"- Hotch landed a hand on her shoulder, but my friend shook her head.

- "No, Hotch. By making that choice, she put everyone at risk,"- (Y/N) didn't take her eyes from Ashley as she spoke- "As far as I remember when you are at the academy, they teach you that in the field, we are responsible to and for your team."

- "(Y/N)... I had no idea..."- Ashley tried to apologize, I could see it, but it was clear she wasn't going to win that argument- "I am so sorry."

- "I don't know, Seaver. Did you think saying "sorry" would make those families feel better? 'Cos it ain't working here. "Sorry" won't make my mom stop feeling guilty about what happened. And, if things had gotten ugly back there, "sorry" wouldn't have made your mistake go away in case anyone would have gotten hurt. So no. Sorry doesn't help. Maybe it can ease your conscience, but when you really fuck it up, it never makes things better."

(Y/N) stood up and walked back to her seat in front of me. I let her pass and didn't say a word. I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it there. And, of course, Seaver didn't say a word. She just stood up and walked to the back of the jet, to the bathroom. Rossi and Hotch looked at each other and then looked at me.

David poured a glass of whiskey and walked to (Y/N) slowly. He didn't say a word, he just handed it to her, and she just took it and sipped it with shaky hands.

- "Thanks,"- she whispered, and Rossi nodded. Hotch raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't. He just walked to his seat and opened a case file.

I moved back to my seat and opened my satchel. I had run out of candies earlier that day, so I didn't have much to give to her that could make her smile. So I picked a book and handed it to her. She took it and smiled at me kindly. I knew she was fighting back the tears, and I am sure she has held back all the emotions than being with the daughter of the man who killed her aunt since she knew who Seaver was. And she managed to do the job well. I was proud of her.

- "Wanna grab something to eat when we reach DC?"- I whispered, but for the first time ever, she shook her head.

- "I'm gonna have to catch a rain check for that dinner. I think I wanna go straight to my bed today, honey."- she sipped her glass again, and I nodded.

- "Don't worry, next time."

I was waiting for the train to go back home later that night when I saw Seaver sitting at a bench at the station, staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't see her leaving the BAU, though to be honest, I was really focused on finishing my paperwork to go home. (Y/N) had left as soon as we reached DC, but I had stayed a little longer.

I hesitated for a few seconds before I took a few steps closer and waved at Seaver. She looked at me surprised, as soon as she saw me, but didn't move. I smiled, trying to look friendly, and sat next to her.

- "Hi. What are you doing here?"- I asked her, and she shrugged.

- "I was going to go home, but I think I sat here half an hour ago and haven't been able to move,"- I turned to her and shook my head.

- "Do you want to eat something?"- after what had happened at the jet, I figured Ashley wasn't feeling so good, and maybe talking with someone could help her. She looked at me and blushed; I don't know why. But at least, she smiled and nodded.

- "Great, pizza?"

- "Pizza sounds good."

We were waiting for our food and making small talk. I kept giving Ashley pizza facts to fill the silence 'cos it was weird hanging out with Ashley. I didn't know her, really. We had worked a case together, but that didn't mean I knew her. And, of course, we had the whole jet incident. I felt a little guilty about what had happened, though it wasn't my fault at all in retrospect. I just felt like it was my job cheering her up a little bit after everything she had gone through.

- "How do you do it?"- she asked me all of a sudden- "How do you deal with the pressure of this job?"

- "You get used to it, I guess. I don't know if it's a good thing to get used to, but... it comes with the job, I think,"- I didn't know if I was doing ok comforting her. Then again, I have never been particularly good at it. Not then, not now.

- "Did you always dream about doing this?"- she asked me, and her eyes locked into mine in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

- "Y... yes. Ever since I was a kid, catching the bad guys,"- Seaver nodded and sipped her coke- "You? Why did you get into the academy?"

I regretted my question right after I asked, just 'cos I realized she might have done it to understand her father's behavior. It was only apparent that had shaped her actions.

- "I guess you know that..."- Ashley answered and smiled, her eyes looking straight into mine. I know I blushed. She is a beautiful woman, though I wasn't thinking about her that way. It was an odd feeling being observed that way.

I was glad our pizza made it to the table, and we were forced to stop talking, and I could focus on anything else but her. Not that I didn't want to look at her, but... I think the right way to explain it is to call it "uneasy." That's how I felt. I wanted to be friendly with her, she had a horrible experience consulting with the team, and I was sure she wasn't really having a good day.

- "This might sound weird, but... do you think I can call you sometime?"- Ashley asked after a few minutes. We were eating and talking about nothing important. I nearly chook at her words and looked at her, nodding.

- "Sure, why?"- I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't know why she might need to talk to me again.

- "I just think maybe you could help me with a few assignments at the academy."

- "Yeah, of course."

Ashley Seaver smiled and nodded at me, pleased. She took a sip of Sprite, and I could read her, trying to find the words to continue speaking.

- "I'm glad. I was sure you were going to say no."

- "Why?"- I furrowed my brows, confused- "I'm not a big fan of phones, but I can handle a casual phone call."

- "No, I just didn't think your girlfriend would like... I mean, I think (Y/N) hates me, and as her boyfriend, I thought you... would... I don't know."

- "I'm, we are... we,"- I was completely flustered as I tried to rearrange my thoughts. Seaver looked at me innocently and waited for my words.

- "(Y/N) isn't my girlfriend"- it bothered me to admit that simple fact. Why? 'Cos it hurt to think we looked like a couple, but we weren't. Why did Seaver think we were together?

- "Really? But..."

- "She is my best friend,"- I explained poorly. She nodded and hesitated before saying what she was thinking. It was obvious she was trying to arrange the words in her head.

- "It's just that you two... sorry, I'm overstepping,"- Ashley blushed and shook her head- "She is... strong."

- "Yes, very."

- "I think I started with the wrong foot with her."

- "Well, I don't mean to justify anything, but if your father hurt,"- I made a pause, trying to find a way to say it that wasn't so painful.

- "Killed. My father killed her aunt,"- she corrected me with a cold and monotonous tone of voice. I just nodded and sipped my water.

- "She is an amazing person,"- I don't know if I was trying to excuse (Y/N)'s earlier behavior or if I just loved her so much I needed to tell people how awesome she was.

- "I'm sure you will pass this,"- I assured her- "Once you get to know her, and she gets to know you."

- "I don't think she will give me that chance. Besides, I was just clear to assist with only one case."

- "If you want to stay, you can request your remedial training be here. And if Hotch approves it, I could talk to (Y/N). I'm sure she will like to know you better."

Why did I say all that? I had no idea.

- "Thank you, Spence. You are really sweet,"- Ashley moved closer and held my hand. I stayed very still, absolutely awkward.

- "Yeah, I don't... like... holding hands,"- I quickly moved it away and tried to smile at her. She stayed still, not understanding my reaction but trying to act normal.

- "Sorry."

- "That's ok. I'm a germaphobe, that's all."

After pizza, we left the place and said goodnight. I told Ashley I was weary (which was, in fact, the truth) and got her a cab to take her home. After that, I walked to my place. I felt like I needed to be alone for a while. My head was overwhelmed, and in the latest couple of weeks, I had severe trouble sleeping.

I had migraines that nearly blinded me. I was scared they meant I could develop the first signs of schizophrenia, like mom, 'cos they were coming more and more often. It wasn't that bad yet, the light didn't hurt my eyes, and I didn't have any sign of hallucination, but still, I knew it could be serious.

I tried to think of a reason why I might be having those severe headaches. I was eating correctly, mostly 'cos (Y/N) forced me to eat. No, she didn't force me, but she made sure I had all my meals at work, not just coffee. And usually, at the weekends, we would spend our time together, and she was a fantastic cook. So it wasn't an alimentary issue.

I wasn't sleeping well. That wasn't new, but it was getting serious. I wrote and read a lot at night 'cos I couldn't fall asleep until late. I didn't know why. I just couldn't rest. My body ached, and my brain wouldn't sleep. The only nights I could actually get some rest were the ones when (Y/N) stayed with me. It was a blessing when Hotch paired us to share rooms, 'cos I could easily fall asleep when she was around. Her presence soothed me in a way that I didn't understand. Let me put it this way, I know it might sound cheesy, but the beating of her heart set the rhythm for my own, and at night it would bring me peace.

I reached home that night and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to rest easy. (Y/N) wasn't there with me. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea, (Y/N) had a lot of those in my house, and I drank them when I missed her. The smell coming from the cup made me feel like she was close.

How pathetic I had become! But I could only share those thoughts with myself. No one knew I had feelings for her, and I was going to deny it till the end, no matter what had JJ said. I couldn't take that phone call from my mind, and on those sleepless nights, I kept overthinking and overanalyzing everything.

I got into bed with a few books and my cup of herbal tea. I took a look at my cell phone, two new messages.

- "I miss u"

(Y/N) sent, and a warm feeling spread on my chest as I imagined her whispering those words as I read them

- "Breakfast tomorrow before work?"

- "See you at seven-thirty."

I typed and sent it.

What could ever happen if I told her how much in love I am with her? I would lose her, and I'd be alone. She didn't feel that way for me. It was a fact. I was just glad she was my best friend, and I could share everything with her. Was I pathetic? Yes, very, but in a way, it felt it was just all I deserved. Not more, not less. Just being in love with a girl who didn't love me back.

At least she wasn't dating Paul anymore. I hated that guy.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Spencer was waiting for me outside our usual coffee shop, already holding two cups of coffee. His short hair looked dreamy as she smiled and took off his sunglasses. It had to be illegal being that hot. But, seriously, how didn't he get laid? He was fucking dreamy. In the four years we had been best friends, I saw Spencer in many hairstyles, and each of them made him look like a model.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been a process I hadn't actually been fully aware of. But I was completely conscious I needed to hide those feelings from him and from everybody at the BAU.

Ok, fine, I had somehow faced part of those feelings in front of my drunk best buddies at Penelope's house, but I never actually confirmed anything. I had just... shared some of my frustrations, I guess.

- "Good morning, honey bunny,"- I smiled and sighed as I stood in front of Spencer, watching him grin back at me and hand me one of the coffee cups.

- "Good morning, chipmunk. Did you get some rest?"

- "Yes, I fell asleep as soon as I reached my bed. I was exhausted."

- "I'm glad you are fully rested."

- "What did you do yesterday?"

- "Nothing,"- he answered quickly and turned around- "I got you a carrot muffin to go."

- "Thank you so much. I'm starving. I didn't even have dinner yesterday."

- "Really?"

- "I told you, I reached home and crawled into my bed."

We walked outside the coffee shop in silence. Spencer bit his donuts, and I ate my muffin. It was nice and calming being with him doing domestic things in life.

I hated how much in love I was with him 'cos I knew I had to shake that feeling away. He was never going to have feelings for me. I was a regular human being, and Spencer Walter Reid was a genius. He deserved better, he was actually never to think about me that way, and I refused to ruin our friendship with those feelings.

- "So, Comic-con is coming. What are we doing this year?"- I asked as I drove us to Quantico.

- "I was thinking we should do something classic,"- he looked at me, nearly beaming on his seat- "We haven't done Star Wars yet."

- "Really?"- I frowned, confused- "All these years? Are you sure?"

- "(Y/N), eidetic memory,"- he argued, and I chuckled- "So, how do you feel about Leia?"

- "Do I have to be Leia 'cos I'm a girl?"- I asked him, and he flustered right away.

- "What? No, you can be whoever you want to be. I was just, it came to my mind... I didn't,"- I giggled and looked at him for a second.

- "I'm messing with you, Batsy. I always wanted to dress as Leia. Surprisingly, I never had. Padme once, it was a mess, but never Leia. Who are you planning to be?"

- "Maybe Luke... or Obi-Wan. Morgan suggested C3PO once."

- "If I'm Leia, you should be Han,"- I don't know why I said that out loud. I thought about it, I pictured it in my head, but I knew I shouldn't have said it. Then why did those words leave my mouth? I don't know.

- "Han Solo... yes... yeah, sure. Of course! We can pick our outfits this weekend."

- "Great! What do you think would look better? Slave Leia or classic all in white Leia?"- Spencer didn't answer. He just sipped his coffee and looked outside the window.

- "You would look good in both,"- his cellphone interrupted our conversations, and I thought it might be a case. But I was so wrong, it hurt.

- "Hello? Oh, hi, Ashley,"- I nearly hit the break as soon as I heard him saying her name, but instead, I turned around and looked at him.

- "Good, yes. On my way to work with (Y/N). Oh, that's good."

I didn't care what she was saying. I just needed to know why that bitch was calling him. I was blind in jealousy, and I was having a hard time hiding it.

- "Really? Emily? That's... that's great. Sure, we'll see you around, gotta go. Bye."

- "What the fuck?"- I swear, I didn't think what I was saying. Those words just slip through my lips straight from my guts. I hated Seaver.

- "That was Ashley."

- "Figured when you said "Hi Ashley." What? Are you best friends with her now?"

- "What? No! No way! She just wanted to say hi... and... She.... asked for my number 'cos she wanted to help her with some of the academy's projects,"- Spencer was so nervous he actually stuttered as he answered my simple question.

- "Of course, she did,"- my voice was bitter and hurt, but most of all, ironic. And I don't know if Spencer didn't want to understand me or actually didn't get the hint, but he just continued talking.

- "She wanted to tell me she requested her remedial training be at the BAU."

- "What?!"- that wasn't subtle. I actually yelled- "I'm gonna have to see her again?"

- "If Hotch approves..."

- "Fuck!! That's awful!!"- I hit the wheel, frustrated.

- "She's not a bad person, (Y/N). Her dad was a murderer, but that doesn't mean..."- I turned to look at Spencer for a second, and he just shut up- "Sorry."

- "I don't like her, Spencer."

- "Yes, I know."

- "Her dad killed my aunt!!"

- "I know..."

- "And on top of that, that bitch is..."

I had to bite my lips and focus on the road, actually holding my breath for a few seconds, just not to open my mouth and ruin it all.

The main reason why I hated Ashley Seaver wasn't just because of what her father had done. That itself was enough to keep her away. But on top of that, she was flirting with Spencer. She wasn't even subtle about it; she was nearly all over him. I saw her! She wanted him, and he had no idea! He was blind to her attention. Unless he liked it. Did he? Shit, I hoped not.

- "She what?"- Spencer whispered, scared of my reaction.

- "She plays the pity card the whole time. Bad things happen to all of us. You don't have to make it who you are, she does, and she expects sympathy."

I grabbed my muffin and took a big bite of it. Spencer sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, giving me space to decompress, I think.

- "Did you know the origins of carrot cake are disputed by many countries?"- I looked at Spencer, and he nodded- "Many food historians believe carrot cake originated from the English recipe of carrot puddings, eaten by Europeans in the Middle Ages when sugar and sweeteners were expensive, and many people used carrots as a substitute for sugar."

- "My mom would fight all those historians and convince them she invented it. Her carrot cake is the best."

- "And I would agree, the cake she baked for your last birthday was amazing."- I nodded and heard him chuckle as I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to focus on the memories of my last birthday and how fun it was, but something was bugging me.

- "And why did she call you to tell you what she wanted to do?"- I parked the car outside the BAU and turned to Spencer. He opened his mouth, but no word came from it. So I asked him again.

- "Honey, why did Seaver call you to announce she would take the remedial training at the BAU?"

- "It... might... had been my idea,"- he whispered and held his satchel tight against his body. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe it.

- "Why on earth did you do that, Spencer?!"- I shouted as I got out of the car, grabbed my purse, my clean go bag in case we had a case, and started walking towards the building.

- "It wasn't like a suggestion. She just..."

- "I can't believe it!!"

- "It doesn't have to be that bad! It's just for a few weeks..."

- "Hopefully, Hotch won't accept."

- "(Y/N), come on,"- Spencer held my hand and stopped me- "This is not like you. Yeah, you don't like her, but you are making it a big deal, and it's not."

- "I'm starting to think you are crushed on her,"- I didn't want to say those words. They just slipped.

- "What!? Why? No!! I'm not!"- the high pitch on Spencer's voice was a clear sign of how uncomfortable he was with the conversation.

- "Then why are you defending her?"

- "I am not! I'm just saying maybe you are acting a little bit... irrational about this whole thing. She hasn't done anything bad."

- "Other than jeopardizing the whole case yesterday?"

- "Right, other than that..."

I felt Spencer's hand in mine, and I swear, I couldn't stop thinking about how it felt. It kept sending shivers all over my body. His thumb rubbed small circles on my skin, probably trying to calm me down, and it worked. I followed it with my eyes for a second as I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

- "Ok, I won't make a big deal if she stays."

- "Thank you."

- "Just... don't ask me to be her friend."

- "You don't have to be her friend."

Spencer stood in front of me and smiled. I swear all I could think of was kissing him. And a part of me felt it was getting harder and harder to resist. He put on his sunglasses and kept his hand in mine for a moment until Penelope's voice took us from our little bubble.

- "Good morning, my wonder babies!! Ready to fight crime?"

I actually didn't know what I was getting into.

Hotch had taken the day off. We were around the one-year anniversary of Haley's death, and according to what Rossi explained to us, Jack wasn't feeling so good. It was said it would be just a day or two, but I had the feeling it might be a couple of weeks. Hotch would always put himself second, but he would do whatever it took to keep him safe when it came to his son.

Morgan had been asked to take a trip to Petersburg Federal Correctional Complex to do a risk assessment on a case, so Spencer, Prentiss, and I were in the bullpen. Garcia was in her office, and Rossi was in a meeting with Strauss. I'd say it was a very calm morning, catching up with all the pending paperwork we had. Spencer had just gotten me a cup of coffee when I heard Seaver's cheerful voice.

- "Hi guys!"- she walked in with a big smile and waved- "How are you?"

Spencer looked at me as we all said our hellos. I could almost read "Please, be nice" written all over his face, and for a moment, I was willing to do as told. I didn't want him to suspect why I was so annoyed by her after all.

- "I talked to Hotch"- Emily smiled at Seaver and moved a chair for her- He signed off your remedial training, and I'll be your training agent. I'll supervise your work. I already told Rossi too, so it's official.

Ashley jumped from her chair and hugged Emily. I rolled my eyes and stared at the file on my desk. I really wasn't ready to deal with her. I wasn't prepared to deal with someone trying to steal Spencer from me.

Ok, Spencer wasn't mine to keep, but we had been inseparable for four years, and I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to lose him.

I had never been ready to deal with Spencer dating other girls. The few times girls had hit on him had been awful. Once, Morgan took him to a club when we were on a case, 'cos the unsub was picking his victims there, and he taught him how to pick up girls. The bartender ended up giving him her number 'cos my dorky best friend was charming. Derek still remembered that moment from time to time, quoting it as "The day he turned Spencer into a man."

I loved Derek, but fuck, I hated him sometimes.

- "Welcome to the team,"- Spencer waved at Seaver from his desk and turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

- "Yeah, welcome,"- I added and cut her a short smile.

- "I'm thrilled to join you guys for a few weeks. I always dreamt of being here. I'm ready for making it up after the last case."

- "Don't be so hard on yourself,"- Prentiss interrupted her and smiled friendly- "You remained calm under pressure, and the case was solved. That's all that matters."

I had to control myself not to snort after Emily's words. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on my desk like I had done before. I was so focused on it that I could have actually developed telekinesis skills and moved the freaking file with my eyes.

- "I just wanted to say thank you to all of you,"- Seaver's voice was soft, in a mix of fear, excitement, and... something else I couldn't read.

- "Especially you, Spencer. I really enjoyed our talk last night, and I have the feeling I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for the pizza. I owe you dinner."

- "Don't, it was nothing,"- Spencer flustered and stood up quickly, grabbing his pile of files and walking away, arguing he needed to ask Garcia something.

I did my best not to move a muscle. I didn't want Seaver to know how much I hated the fact she had shared what seemed to be a lovely evening with Spencer. One he didn't actually mention when we talked about what we had done the previous evening. Why did he decide to keep me in the dark? I couldn't understand that. Maybe he just didn't want me to know he actually had feelings for Seaver. Maybe he had asked her out, and because he knew I hated her (though he really didn't know why), he decided not to tell me what was going on.

I had been wasting all that time in love with Spencer. I knew I would never act on those feelings, and clearly, he didn't have feelings for me. So... maybe it was time to let him go.

How could I let Spencer Reid go when I never actually had him?

–

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–

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Next update: June 16th, 2021

[mjmagics]

The Pirate Queen

Plot: princess y/n of the kingdom of xavier, is kidnapped by the Crimson Captain, Natasha and her crew on her birthday. 

Count: 2, 229

Rating: NSFW MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 

Pairing: Pirate Natasha Romanoff and Princess Reader 

Warnings: Smut, some poor writing, reader receiving oral, intoxicating Natasha

gif belongs to owner 

"Happy Birthday!" A voice beamed, doors to Princess y/n's bedroom swinging open to show y/n's close friend Princess Wanda. Her fiery red hair was braided behind her, and a velvet red dress covered her body with her black corset pinching her waist thin. It was barely light out for a midsummer morning, but Wanda could not wait to celebrate the birth of her best friend. 

Y/n was still half asleep, her own hair snarled, and drool dripped from her pink bottom lip. "What?" She stated, confused by her sleeping spell. 

Wanda chuckled, waving her hands. Red mist formed in the room, and once inhaled, y/n she seemed more alert. "My birthday! How could I forget?" The woman jumped out of her bed, her thin silk nightgown almost tripping her careless body. Wanda caught her with magic once more. "Are people already here?" 

The red princess nodded. "Yes, the Duke of Doom is here with his daughter, the Iron Heart will be arriving in a few hours, and the Lord of Stars appeared last night with fiancée." y/n frowned, disappointed. "I thought my father invited more to celebrate." She felt her bottom lip begun to pout, arms crossing. Although she was turning 19, the woman still acted slightly childish. "He did. They are here, I promise. Those are just the important ones. Besides, we all know that you are the only thing that matters today." 

A knock on the wood alerted the two women, and they saw y/n's dressing maid, Jean. "Morning, my lady. May I help you get yourself ready for the day?" y/n nodded contently, and Wanda saw herself out. 

Hours passed, there was a gathering on the beach to celebrate the Kingdom of Xavier's princess. King Charles happily watched the festivities from his throne. Charles's friend King Erik sat next to him. Princess y/n and Princess Wanda danced together with the other guests, while Wanda's brother flirted with princess Doom. There was no care for the royals or commoners. 

That was until a strange boat arrived at the dock. "Who could it be?" Wanda whispered to y/n, holding into her waist from behind, head on  y/n's shoulder. King Erik stood from his chair, waving for King Charles to remain sitting due to his injury. "I will investigate. Pietro, Wanda, come." Reluctantly Wanda pulled herself from y/n's person, following her father and brother to the dock. The trio had only taken a few steps onto the platform of wood before a woman with red hair, almost as fiery as Wanda. She took out a hand pistol, firing one shot at Erik without warning. He used his magical abilities to stop it, forcing the bullet into the ocean. 

"Interesting," The woman hummed. She put her gun back in the holster. "I'm looking for the party." The pirate hummed, fixing her sun-bleached dress. Wanda was the first to speak up, brushing past her father. "You will have to go through me." The mystery woman laughed, then snapped her fingers. "If you say so, princess." Without warning, an older man jumped from the ship. He held the gift of magic. He didn't hesitate, chanting under his breath, hand movements swift and precise. Wanda was trapped within her own body, arms sewn to her sides and legs closed together. Pietro ran, known for his speed, wanting to attack the warlock. An arrow went through his leg before he could hand a punch. It was made from wood, something that King Erik would be unable to stop. 

Everything went quickly after that. Erik was down, shot by an arrow just as his son was. Soon the gang of pirates took over the beach.  There had to be twenty of them. y/n watched in horror as the pirates overtook her sickly father, she screamed, but unlike her friends, she was powerless. 

"Hmm," The pirate lady sighed. "You have quite the voice." y/n searched, trying to find the woman. Two strong arms wrapped around the princess's waist, lips pressed against her ear. "Come with me, and I will spare your father and friends." There was a moment of pondering before y/n said: "I will." 

The ship was large. It held not 20 but 30 crewmates, each differing in looks and weapon. y/n watched as they left the shores of her home, no comfort being brought to her. The princess was not placed in shackles or cuffs. A simple threat from the captain was whispered in her ears, which was enough for her. The captain introduced herself as Natasha. "I am princess y/n," The younger of the two stated, curtsying. This caused an uproar with the crew. "Yeah, and I'm King Clint," the man with the arrows joked. After introductions, y/n was assigned a job: to fix the clothing of the sailors. Then a place to sleep. "In my quarters, on a cot," Natasha stated. "I don't trust any of my hooligans with you." 

Weeks past and y/n was sunburnt, hair bleaching, and feeling sick from the sea. "Take a rest today, princess," The captain commanded.  "okay," y/n replied, her voice just a rasp. The Crimson Captain was about to walk out of the room when she suddenly turned around. The cot y/n was sleeping on was just a few blankets on the floor. She picked the woman up with little struggle and carried her to the comfortable bed. "What?" The girl questioned. "Hush, you are in no condition to care for yourself, so let me." The moment Natasha put y/n down, the princess was craving the captain's warmth, shivers going through her body. "Damn, princess," The pirate asserted, "It's boiling today. Why are you shivering?" Suddenly the frail woman sat up, leaning over the bed and puking. 

"Dehydration," The crew's doctor and sorcerer affirmed. "She needs to drink more." He held a fluid close to y/n's mouth, and she carefully drank. Natasha felt guilty. If she had just left her on the mainland, taken riches and not a person, they wouldn't be in this mess. y/n wouldn't be sick. At the same time, this gave Natasha an excuse to care for y/n. "Thank you, Strange. I will take it from here." The doctor stood up, allowing Nat to take his spot. Once he was out of the room and the door shut behind him, Natasha took y/n's head and placed it on her lap. "As long as you don't tell anyone, I'll care for you." 

A few days passed of a liquid diet, but y/n persevered. In that time, the two girls learned a lot about each other, and a new arrangement was made. y/n and Natasha would share the captain's bed. It made the nights much more comfortable for both of them. It began as one reaching out for the other to ensure they both were safe. Then their limbs interlocking in their sleep. Finally, Natasha woke up to y/n snuggled into her breasts, snoring softly. The captain loved it. Not only did their sleeping get better, but the relationship also turned to a different type. y/n was the first to realize her feelings. The craving to push her body against the pirates, to taste her lips. It grew stronger every day, and fighting it made things worse. Even so, it felt wrong to y/n. Her captor turned friend would never feel that way. Nat did, though. She felt the yearnings whenever the two were alone or when y/n was so focused on sewing something she began to nibble her lip. The worst was when they were cuddled in bed, nightgown hugging y/n curves to nat's pleasure. Natasha usually wore an oversized shirt donated by an old lover that y/n often tried stealing. 

Tonight was no different. Nat came into her quarters to see y/n laid across the bed, her nightgown tugged up above her ass. "Fuck," Nat whispered to herself, trying to keep her eyes off the roommate. The pirate queen was out drinking with the other crewmates, and her mind was not functioning. y/n had not been expecting the captain to come back from the shore that night, so she buried herself in pillows and blankets. Although adorable, it left the redhead with little ability to find space in the bed. "y/n, wake up," Natasha stated, shaking the woman slightly. "Hey," She was a little more aggressive with both her voice and shaking. y/n didn't budge, which was off for the woman as she was a light sleeper. Nat sighed, eyeing the woman's exposed area. The pirate debated but decided it was the only way to awaken her sleeping princess. Natasha raised her right hand above the plump skin before bringing her hand down on the other's ass. The smack echoed through the cabin, and the woman jumped awake. "Captian!" y/n panted, eyes wide, "I didn't think you were coming home." 

Natasha grinned, "I might have drunk myself under the table out there, but I missed my princess..." y/n raised an eyebrow before the intoxicated captain realized what she said. "The bed that makes me feel like a princess. Duh. Don't think so highly of yourself." y/n took a moment before responding, "o-okay, captain." y/n scooted over to make room for the woman, crawling over the bed and putting pillows back in their place.  "I like that," Nat slurred. "Like what?" The other girl looked up, innocence in her eyes. "When you call me captain." The princess blushed, looking up at the pirate. "Well, everyone does that, don't they?" 

Natasha shrugged as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, but with you, it makes me happy." Princess y/n tilted her head in confusion, "What?" Nat rolled her eyes, sitting. "Come here." The other woman didn't hesitate, making her way across the large bed to sit by the other. There was a moment of awkwardness before the red-haired woman grabbed the other's face, leaning close. The gap closed, not by Natasha but y/n. Their lips met, slow and cautious. They were learning one another, familiarity not yet build. y/n felt the position was awkward and decided to shift, breaking the kiss for a second to sit on Natasha's lap. The kiss continued: it was feverish. The women were more curious, Nat's hands traveling y/n's body, enjoying the curves she so longed to caress. y/n found herself busy brushing a hand through thick hair, hips wiggling for desperate friction. The older of the two noticed, pulling away. "If you want something, you must ask." She put her hands on y/n's hips to stop the grinding. The princess pouted, shaking her head no. Natasha scoffed, grabbing hold of her by the woman's chin, the opposite hand holding her hips still. "Brat," the pirate spat. "I wanna be gentle with you, baby, I really do. Acting like this will not get you anything." 

y/n huffed, looking nat in the eyes, "Please, captain, I need you." Natasha didn't hesitate to flip them around, y/n's back to the mattress and her standing before the woman. "Well, princess, I can do that." The couple went back to kissing, Nat's hand reaching up the silk slip to caress the breast closest to y/n's heart. The woman took more control, kissing down the other's jawline to the neck. y/n felt a strange pleasure run over her, hips bucking up once more to ease her aching flower. "Relax," The pirate asserted, "I'm getting there, princess." 

Natasha then focused on the other's collarbone, sucking and leaving dark marks. Her hands were busy, yanking up the gown from the woman's body, teasing her inner thighs after. She moved down, kneeling on the ground, then pulled y/n by her waist. She was then at the edge of the bed, legs spread showing her most intimate area. Although the redhead could tease all night, she decided it would be best to give in to her new lover. Blowing cold air on her clit, y/n let out a small gasp before wiggling a bit. Nat enjoyed watching it. The woman next leaned close, tongue then flicking at the bundle of nerves. She didn't watch a reaction. Instead, she listened to the moan.  Once it was qued that y/n liked that Nat repeated, this time with more strength. She flicked a few more times before moving down, her tongue gathering y/n's wetness. Natasha herself moaned, eye closing to better enjoy the moment. Her tongue carefully plunged inside y/n's cunt, taking in even more of the princess. y/n was in heaven, eyes rolling back whenever Nat would rub her teeth against her clit or wiggle her tongue as deep as she could. y/n had cum about 3 times before the pirate pulled away, licking her lips. 

After the pirate cleaned her up with a small rag and some water, the two laid together in bed. "I know I am not the best," Nat began. "I think you are, thank you, captain." y/n smiled up at the woman, cuddling close. "I never had that before." The older woman chuckled, smiling wide: "Well, most men don't do that." y/n shook her head no, "Nope, it's not that. I've never been that way with anyone." Natasha remained silent for a few minutes. "I just took your virginity, and I'm sloppy drunk. Great."  y/n let herself giggle before shifting her body so that her lips were lined up with Nat's ear. "Well, tomorrow, you can do this over again, sober."