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#my hand starts to hurt and he's like. do you want me to do it for a bit
lilacgaby · 3 days
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˗ˏˋ🖍️crayons and connections
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pairing: prohero!katsuki x nanny!reader
summary: after a harsh relationship he really didn't want another try at romance for a while. at least, not until he hired you. he thought he loved the way you cared for his kids, but you both knew it was something more.
tags: fem!reader, domestic au, use of pet names, no proofread, fluff, cursing, taking care of kids, a millisecond of angst i swear trust me, comfort
(a/n: i couldn't get this au out of my headdd)
wc: ~3k
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katsuki was honestly sick of his wife.
she would nag him constantly, asking for his cards and attention without ever asking about him or how he was doing. everything was an argument now, most of their nights would eventually end up with him on the couch.
the only lights of his life were his newborn son and one year old daughter. he had adopted the 'staying for the kids' mindset, but her skipping out on their shared daughter's first birthday was his breaking point.
who knew 'i want a divorce' would be the happiest words he'd ever uttered such far? watching her cry and swear she'd be better feeding the hole of despair that had opened over their three year relationship, that had only really blossomed because she got pregnant.
he had made her sign a prenup, thankfully, so he got to keep the house. with a payment and some paperwork he was left with full custody of his kids in his house, to sleep in his bed for the first time in ages.
well, only because he hired you.
it was only natural that he needed a nanny, i mean he was gone for most of the day patrols. after taking some in for interviews, he eventually landed on you after some hours of questioning.
he was exhausted, some of these hags were terrifying, both in their practices and appearances. he relaxed a bit at the sight of you. you were really pretty.
"hi mr-- um bakugo was it?"
you and no idea who he was? it kind of hurt but would end up working out in his favor.
"yeah, just katsuki's fine."
"oh, okay! i'm [name], uh-- i have a couple years experience for babysitting and i worked as a nanny for some other families too--"
as you rambled about your past experience and why you were good for the job, katsuki's mind went elsewhere. you looked breathtaking just speaking there, he swore your hair was flowing in the wind and that the sun shone brighter around you.
not to mention you were really sweet, he had saw you making small talk to the hags earlier, which meant you really were a saint.
"so uh-- yeah that's all about me... uh, hello?"
"oh! yes? that was all really impressive [name]. so, would you be available from eight in the morning to about ten at night? those are my current patrol hours, and obviously you'd be compensated for this trial."
"yes, that's perfect for me! when can i start?"
"uh.. tomorrow?"
"okay!" you stuck out your hand, a small smile on your lips. "nice to meet you katsuki."
he shook your hand firmly and you bowed before leaving.
the next day you arrived earlier than anticipated, he was suited up in his heroes outfit, relishing in the moments where his kids were still asleep.
he heard a knock at the door and opened it. it was you, a tiny purse behind you. "hi katsuki! woah wait a minute.. are you like a hero?"
he shrugged his arms. "yeah, you know only like top three, nothing big."
he saw your eyes widen. "oh wow! sorry for not recognizing you, i don't really keep up with all that stuff-- but im sure you're really strong!"
he nodded, "hell yeah i am. anyways, come in."
you were greeted by a large family home. you were sure your apartment was the size of the kitchen alone. huge halls and grand staircases filled the space, lavish chandeliers all shaped as explosions hung from the ceiling. not to mention the crazy amount of trophies displayed.
the rocking chairs and baby blankets scattered about were seriously out of place, making you giggle a bit.
when he looked back at you, you immediately slapped your hand over your face. "something funny?"
"no, no it's just-- your house is so nice!"
"thank you? anyways, i'll take you up to their rooms now."
you followed behind him, even his kids had huge rooms. you were super kind of jealous.
he opened the door and waved you over to see a small, adorable baby boy sleeping in a cot. "this is kei, he's only eight months." he whispered. "he fusses a lot, but he loves music."
he closed the door slowly behind, and walked to the room straight across. a tiny toddler laid in a princess bed, the room drowning in all things pink. "this is kioko, she's a handful. she turned two a bit ago." he whispered, closing the door behind him to give you a basic rundown of the schedule.
"so, they normally wake up around eight. there's a lot of formula for kei in the kitchen, and kioko just likes cereal. kioko can and will play all day, but kei gets real sleepy."
you nodded along making mental notes of everything.
"they eat lunch around three, but a snack before then is fine. dinner is at seven and they go to sleep at eight."
"okay, i think i got it."
he nodded. "i think you do too. there's extra keys in the counter by the door. call my assistants if there are any emergencies, i wrote the number on the fridge."
you nodded again, "kay, i got it. you get going though, it's already eight twenty!"
"fuck. okay, i'll see you later."
"bye katsuki."
the door closed behind him and you were alone. you decided to start prepping a bottle. just as you finished, you heard the wails of a baby ring throughout the halls.
you walked up to the cot, speaking softly. "hi kei, i'm [name]." as you picked him up, he gurgled in confusion. "i'll be taking care of you from now on, let's go eat."
you kept him in your arms. he was looking up at you curiously, making you smile as he touched your face. as you walked to his sister's room, where sure enough she was awake too.
"hi kioko, im [name]. i'll be taking care of you, okay?" you said, reaching out a hand for her to shake it.
she grasped your hand. "okay. go eat?"
"yes, let's go eat. follow me, okay?" she followed after you sleepily, her blanket and stuffed animal in her arms as you led her to the kitchen.
you placed her brother in a high chair first, giving him his formula. "can i pick you up?" you asked her.
"up-up!" she said, raising her arms up in the air. you carried and placed her into one too. "so, what do you wanna eat?"
"cookie!" she pointed to an expensive cereal brand you'd never even seen before. "oh, okay."
you placed a bit in a tiny bowl, adding some milk. they ate relatively peacefully, were they really as crazy as katsuki said?
yes, yes they were. kioko was a ball of energy, walking any and everywhere. she wanted to play every single game known to mankind. it didn't help that hide and seek was hard in such a huge house.
kei clung to you. as you searched for her he never wanted to leave your side, he'd start sniffling when you even left his sight.
lunch and dinner were a blur, you made the food katsuki had told you to on the sticky notes he'd left around. you had a bit too, and man did these kids eat good.
kioko finally crashed, tugging on the back of your pants. "sleepy time." you were washing dishes, so you wiped your hand clean to ruffle her hair. "okay, go wait for me in your room."
you finished up, picked up kei from where he was sat by his activity cube, and walked over to kioko's room.
you read her a book, 'the giving tree.' she fell asleep halfway through, utterly tuckered out from the day. kei fell asleep against your chest, you went and laid him down in his cot.
you looked around the house, seeing the mess. you sighed. "let's do this."
the house was sparkling once you were done, a pot of coffee on the stove as you waited for katsuki to get back. you seriously didn't know how you were going to go back your one-bed apartment now that you've seen how the rich live.
the door sounded, it was katsuki. "hi katsuki! how was uh-- patrol?"
he was covered in soot and dirt from head to toe. you internally sobbed at your hours of mopping going to waste. "oh uh, it was good. caught some guys and shit."
"ah, that's cool!"
he looked around. "did my brats cause you any trouble?" he eyed how clean everything was, from the dishes to the floor.
"they're full of energy, but so cute it makes up for it."
he wore a soft smile. "yeah, they really are."
"you know, they both look exactly like you. it's cute."
he flushed slightly, "yeah?"
"mhm, oh! i had leftovers from earlier? if you wanted some."
"yeah, i'll eat them." she smiled and started to grab her things. "so, does this mean i pass?"
he smiled too. "yes,
yes you did."
days melted into months of your routine with kei and kioko. some days katsuki would come home early, letting you play games all together. you'd cook with him sometimes too, laughing at how precise he was about it.
everything got a bit real the second kei spoke his first word to you.
"mama."
you and kioko got so excited, recording a clip to send it to katsuki immediately.
the entire day you were so happy, treating the kids to a secret extra snack, and letting them beat their favorite baby popcorn.
a knock on the door was heard, you were feeding kei so you walked over to the door with him in hand. you thought it was odd, why would katsuki knock?
except it wasn't him, it was some woman. "uh.. who are you?"
"oh, so he thinks he can replace me so quickly? newsflash, bitch, i'm his ex wife."
"can you not curse in front of the kids?"
"i'll do whatever the fuck i want. you know why? because i'm actually connected to those kids. you're just playing mother, he'll dump you eventually."
she slammed the door behind her. "star her mama?" kioko asked behind you.
"yeah, stranger."
you had gotten a bit weird after that, acting weird about affection and things surrounding it. you didn't know why, but she really did make you question your role in their lives.
you weren't a mother, you were a nanny.
katsuki finally got fed up with your new, odd attitude. he questioned you with a look in his eye.
"why you been acting so weird?" he asked, his mouth full with food.
"huh? i don't know what you mean?"
he pointed his chopsticks at you. "you've been acting all weird 'round 'em. you don't like that they call you mom or something?"
"no! it's just.. don't you think it's weird?"
"no. i'm happy that they like you so much."
"you don't think i'm trying to replace their mom?"
"they never really had one in the first place. she was never around, so if she said some shit to you know she wasn't half the person you are."
"oh.."
"so she did come."
"yeah. she did."
"[name]. you are ten times the person she ever was. you're perfect without trying. actually, you do try. and that's why..
that's why we all love you."
you both turned red, which made you laugh. "thank you katsuki."
you reached out and held his hand.
"seriously, thank you."
he put a restraining order on his ex the next day, also going to get flowers for you as it was his day off.
you'd started to sleep over after that, the affection between the two of you growing gradually.
he gifted you a room in the house, fully furnished with about ten thousand dollars left in one of the drawers so 'you could decorate for yourself.'
that room went mostly unused though, as most nights you'd end up cuddled with katsuki in his bed.
the fridge was filled to the brim with photos by kioko, who'd love to draw all four of you as one big family.
katsuki even asked her for a small one, one that he now keeps in the back of his phone case for good luck.
he asked you out officially with kioko's help, her unwanted help that is.
she snuck out after bedtime where he was speaking to you on the couch, you in his arms as he was mustering up his courage--
"pleaseeee have a play date with daddy, pleasee?" she said, using her puppy eyes.
"we all love you a lot, but he loves you this much!" she spread out her arms to make a point, making you laugh.
"okay! okay, i already said yes kioko. go to sleep, okay?"
"yay!" she ran up to her room and you heard the door close.
"so.. about our playdate?"
he took you out to a fancy dinner of your choice, telling you to order whatever you'd like. his mom was babysitting so you two could relax.
he'd learned a lot about you from his kids, your favorite color, the music you liked, the way you like your eggs, but it was different to hear it from you.
he thought you were so gorgeous and kind, so sweet to him and the lights of his life. who was he kidding? over the last year you'd become a pillar of his life.
he enjoyed going home knowing you were there with his kids, you were there to hear about his stresses and support him.
he was happy to support you, to let you stay in his house. to let him pay for things for you, to let him make you smile.
one 'playdate' turned into multiple, you went out every other week.
he knew he had to do something, a grand gesture to show you just how much he loved you, how he wanted to continue building this perfect family of his forever.
he knew how much you treasured the opinions of his kids, he loved that about you.
so, he got them in on it. kioko and kei each held a gift for you, one of your favorite flowers and the other of your favorite perfumes.
you were at a seriously gorgeous park, streams the only noise you could hear for miles. you saw your two favorite kids sitting on the picnic blanket.
"kioko, kei?"
"mommy!" they ran up to you, kei handing you the bouquet of roses, and kioko handing you a vial of perfume.
"aw, thank you you two. where's your dad?"
"hes waiting for you! come come!"
"come!"
they guide you to a secluded area, with a natural arch of overgrown vines, where katsuki is waiting for you.
"katsuki?"
"[name]."
"what's all of this for?"
"you." he took your hands into his, looking deeply into you.
"you're important to me. you've.. you've become the thing i was missing. the thing i searched for in other people.
and, you've become that to the people i care about the most too.
so,"
he got down on one knee infront of you.
"will you marry me?"
the word yes escaped you before you even realized it. you tackled him into a hug, which prompted kei and kioko to join in.
everything was just so sweet from then on.
kioko was the flower girl at your wedding, kei was the ring holder.
your first kiss shared under the altar was magical, the memory of it forever engrained in your memories, and in your lips.
your honeymoon was bittersweet, as you missed your two headaches. but you and katsuki also enjoyed the private time alone with eachother, embracing and finding comfort in eachother's presence.
when you got home though, your picturesque family was about to have a new addition,
you were pregnant.
whilst everyone was debating whether or not you'd have a boy or girl, to everyone's surprise once you and katsuki cut the slice of cake open..
it had both colors.
you we're having twins.
as you looked over at katsuki, a shocked expression on his face, all you could do was laugh.
laugh because you couldn't have ever imagined a life this perfect for you.
but it was a wax-drawn line of fate that led you to katsuki,
and you'd always be thankful for it.
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tag: @kovu-bunnbunn
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moonstruckme · 2 days
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Hi! My inbox is being evil again (it's trying to keep us apart!) and temporarily deleting the exact requests I want to find, so here's a copy+paste of the request I got and thank you so much anon :)
could you do a james x fem!reader where he helps her through a particularly bad panic attack and then just cuddles her and grounds her again? i get them all the time and the thought of the comfort just makes me feel better :,)
cw: modern au, panic attack
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 730 words
James knows it’d be no help to tell you how scared these attacks make him, but they do make him very scared. He imagines it’s not too different from your reasoning right now; he knows, ultimately, that you’ll be alright, but the thought doesn’t provide as much comfort as it should when he’s watching you with your breaths coming quick and short and your nails digging into your own palm like you can hurt yourself worse on the surface that whatever’s doing this to you. 
He starts there. Takes your hand and uncurls your fingers, threading them through his. 
“You’re okay,” he tells you, sitting on the coffee table with his knees touching yours. He shuts the computer on your lap, easing it out of your grip to move it away. “Take a breath, sweetheart.” 
If you can still hear him you show no sign of it. A tear forms in the corner of your eye, falling when you blink. He can feel your heartbeat jumping where the base of his palm rests over your wrist. 
“Can I give you a hug?” 
There, a slight nod. James curls towards you eagerly, if a bit awkwardly, his knees on either side of your thighs and sitting a bit taller than you while he rubs your back. He makes big, sweeping circles, hoping to lull you with the slow pattern. Tears slug down your cheeks in curved lines, his shirt collecting their damp masses. 
“It’ll pass, angel. It always does, yeah? I know it feels like it’s not going to get better, but it will. You’re doing so good. So, so good, my love.” 
Your breath wheezes slightly on the way in, evidence of your diligent efforts, and when it comes out a low, pained sound comes with it. James feels it deep in his throat. He increases his pressure on your back. 
“Is this okay?” he worries, then feels shitty. You’re hardly up for questioning right now. He tries to sound certain. “Focus on my hand, angel. You’re okay, I’ve got you. Take a big breath for me.” 
He feels you try, your little sob when it doesn’t go as deep as either of you want. 
“I can’t—” 
“You can, it’s alright. You’re already doing so much better, see? It’s going away.” 
This one is worse than some of the others James has sat through with you. It seems to take ages for your breathing to slow down, and a while after that until he feels your heart find a somewhat normal rhythm under his palm. 
He knows you’re with him, more present, when you move your legs to give him easier access to you. James adjusts eagerly, giving you a proper hug. Your crying is less stilted now. He never thought he’d be so relieved to hear you sniffle and weep on his shoulder. 
“There you are,” he sighs, holding you tight. “You did it, sweetheart.” 
“James,” you whimper. 
“I know, but you’re okay. Keep breathing nice and deep,” he reminds you, worried another one will start up. “You made it. Now all you have to do is take it easy for a while.” 
“Thank you.” Your voice is a soft, small thing. It encourages James back from you, though only far enough to see your face. One tear hangs from your bottom lashes like a dewdrop from a petal. When he kisses beneath your eye it transfers to his skin. 
“No thanks necessary.” He kisses you on your other cheek, just to make it even. “You did all the hard work yourself.” 
“Still,” you say, a bit wobbly, “thanks.” 
James frowns. He allows himself to stop rubbing that same endless circle on your back, brushes a piece of hair away from your face. “Anytime,” he tells you sincerely. 
The worst of your crying seems over, but the look you give him suggests you might start again. James likes to think of himself as a man unafraid of tears and strong emotions; he’ll let you cry all night if that’s what you need. Still, he’d prefer to avoid it. 
“How do you feel?” he asks quickly. “Do you want some water? We could go for a walk, it might help to be outside.” 
You don’t want to do either of those, but you do consent to another hug. Which, really, is a better outcome than he’d dared to hope for. 
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starmocha · 2 days
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Neglecting my 373829927299 wips, my tasks, my errands, my fucked up sleep schedule, my life in general, because I am obsessed with this new wip I have:
More tribal warrior!Sylus, but make it childhood friends/arranged marriage/soulmates AU-flavored. This is my new ✨need✨, please enable me, I'd already written 4.6K words and that's only like 1/3 of the story I'd envisioned
(other things in the story to consider: light breeding kink, definite pregnancy kink, body worship.....just worshiping in general, because my other current obsession is Sylus being grossly in love with you and this fic is lowkey just him being "my wife ❤ I will worship the ground my wife walks on ❤ I will worship the air she breathes ❤ she can kick my ass idgaf because she does it so prettily ❤")
As you returned to the village, nightfall had already descended. You and Sylus had ridden back in silence, the awkward atmosphere only worsening with each passing minute. Sylus had kept an arm protectively around your waist the entire time while his other hand held the rein. You looked down, eyes following the horse’s hooves as he trotted back. “We’re almost back,” Sylus’ soft voice broke through the tensed atmosphere. You looked up, seeing the huts that lined the outskirt of the village and your mare quietly grazing in the distance. You wriggled a little, but that only made Sylus tightened his hold. You looked down at his arm around you and you said softly, “Let me down. I can walk back.” “No,” he answered. “Sylus—" He suddenly yanked the rein, forcing the horse to turn around in a different direction. “Sylus?!” you looked up panicked, not expecting this sudden change in pacing. Sylus’ sight remained ahead, and your heart sped up at the sight of seeing his handsome face from this angle, bathed only in moonlight. Sylus commanded his horse skillfully and you both rode atop the stallion at a brisk pace. The cool night breeze brushed against your cheeks, drying your earlier tears. You even found yourself starting to smile and laugh, the adrenaline taking over. Eventually, Sylus took you back to the village once he had seen that you had calmed down. The horses were returned to their stable. You turned just as Sylus handed you the saddlebag. You looked up surprised. “They mean nothing to me,” he said resolutely, “Burn them.” “I’m not going to…” He stroked your cheek with the back of his hand. “I’d never meant to make you upset or have you cried like that, nor did I mean to make you jealous…” “I wasn’t jea—” He leaned down and kissed your lips, silencing you. You dropped the saddlebag, the pouches spilling out on the ground. “Sy—” He lifted you into his arms and you looked up in surprise. “What are you—" He carried you out of the stable before letting you down again. You looked at him exasperatedly. “You always do what you want—this is not fair…” “What’s not fair?” “It’s not fair…how…I’m the only one…feeling insecure…” In the village square, you could hear the celebration dying down as people started making their way home. The bonfire in the center still blazed brightly. “You are right,” Sylus responded, “I don’t feel insecure.” Your shoulders slumped and you kept your eyes lowered. You suddenly felt Sylus’ finger under your chin, tilting it up so your eyes met his. “You were promised to me,” he said, hushed, “And I to you.” He kissed you. “We are meant to be, and were we not, I would rewrite the stars, to change the course of destiny and weave a new tapestry of fate to make you mine.” His forehead pressed to yours. “My love,” he held his gaze with yours, “There is only you…no one else.” He kissed you again, and the last remnants of your jealousy and hurt faded away. Just you.
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mononijikayu · 3 days
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i have love and dreams too — gojo satoru.
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Yuji looked down at his hands, feeling a strange sense of guilt. “Do you really think… you can never have that life you want?” Satoru didn’t answer right away. Instead, he closed his eyes, letting the wind ruffle his silver hair. For a moment, he was just Satoru—not the strongest, not the invincible sorcerer, but a man burdened by the life he had to lead. “I don’t know, Yuji……” he said quietly, almost to himself. “But I like to dream that maybe, someday… we could all disappear. And live. Just live.  Just me, my wife, Megumi, Tsumiki, Satoshi… away from everything. Living in peace.”
WARNING/S: spoilers for chapter 271 of jjk (spoilers at your behest), domesticity, fluff, angst, trauma, implied death, violence, romance, hurt/comfort, character death depiction of death, depictions of loss and depression, depiction of blood, depiction of killing, depiction of suffering, depiction of anxiety, mention of death, mention of grief, profanity, family drama;
WORDS: 6.8k words.
NOTE: i rush wrote this at uni, at the restaurant i was at and then a car on the way back and forth from uni and home. i just started crying profusely because i hated how jjk ended. and i hated that panel with satoru and yuji because i just kept crying. i cant believe this is the end, but i cant believe even more that this is what satoru had to deal with. this is the most rushed end and the saddest end.
i wish gege had decided to take a break and decided to take his time. but alas this is not my story. still, id like to make more for satoru. ones where he'd be so loved. genmei (you) and satoru will always be happy in whatever life you have, that i write. for bitter or for worse. even in death. smiling is all there will be. even with tears.
anyway, i hope you bear with me, for i am very emotional. thank you for understanding this situation. i love you all, i'll see you soon <3
masterlist
u s and t h e m
if you want to, tip! <3
GOJO SATORU IS EXHAUSTED. But he thinks that there is no use to sleep. He knows he cannot. The room was bathed in the soft glow of a single lamp, the light too dim to chase away the shadows that lingered in every corner, just like the uncertainty that hung between you and Satoru.
He sat across from you on the edge of the bed, his usual carefree demeanor gone, replaced by a solemn stillness that felt out of place on him. His eyes, usually so vibrant and mischievous, were tired tonight, the weight of tomorrow pulling down his every breath.
"You don’t have to do this." Your voice came out in a whisper, the words heavy with a desperation you’d been trying to suppress.
Satoru didn’t answer right away. His gaze was locked on the floor, and for a moment, you wondered if he was even listening. But then he looked up, his piercing blue eyes meeting yours, and there was something in them you rarely saw—fear.
"It’s not like I have a choice," he murmured, his voice strained. "You know that."
You did. And that made it worse. He was the strongest, after all. If anyone had to stand against Sukuna, it was him. But the weight of those expectations had never felt heavier than it did now, with the reality of the fight looming closer with every passing second.
"I hate this, Satoru." you confessed, your voice trembling. "I hate that it always comes down to you, that you’re the one who has to bear this."
Satoru smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He stood and crossed the small space between you, kneeling in front of you, his hands gently resting on your knees. His touch was warm, grounding, but it did nothing to quell the storm raging inside you.
"Hey." he said softly, lifting your chin so you’d look at him. "I know it’s not fair. But it’s what I have to do."
You shook your head, biting back the tears that threatened to spill. "But what if—" The words caught in your throat, the question too painful to finish.
Satoru’s thumb brushed against your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn’t even realize had fallen. "Don’t think about that," he whispered, his voice as soft as the night air outside. "Not tonight."
"But how can I not?" you shot back, your frustration breaking through. "How can I pretend that everything will be fine when I know you’re going to face him? When I know there’s a chance that—"
He silenced you with a kiss, his lips gentle but firm, grounding you in the present, in this moment. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin.
"I’ll come back to you," he promised, but even he couldn’t hide the uncertainty in his voice. “To you and Satoshi. And… I’ll bring Megumi and Tsumiki back. We’ll be a family again, like we used to be.”
It was the way he said it—so sure, so certain—that made it all the more unbearable. As if speaking it aloud would somehow make it true, would make the universe bend to his will the same way he bent the forces of space and time. But you knew better now, didn’t you? You’ve always known. Satoru Gojo, the man who was too powerful to fail, too stubborn to admit defeat, could never stop lying—not to you, not to himself. He believed in his own invincibility, as if his strength alone could rewrite the world.
But the world doesn’t work that way.
And you think then, that your husband has always been a liar.
You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve heard those words, promises wrapped in silk and carelessness, the way they tumbled off his tongue so casually. It was as though the act of saying it was enough for him, as though the truth could be commanded with just his voice. And maybe for a long time, it was.
Satoru Gojo, the strongest sorcerer, the man who could bend the world to his whims and yet still—he was human. And humans lie. Sometimes because they have to, sometimes because the lie feels better than the truth.
But tonight, in the quiet hours before dawn, the weight of his words pressed down harder than ever. We’ll be a family again, like we used to be. You wanted to scream at him, to shake him, to make him stop speaking as if the world was something he could fix with his bare hands. Megumi was gone, taken by darkness, by fate, and Tsumiki…Tsumiki was as good as lost to you both. Even if Satoru came back, even if he somehow survived this fight with Sukuna, the cracks in your family couldn’t simply be patched over like they had never existed.
You bit your lip, tasting the bitterness of unshed tears.
"You always say that," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the soft hum of the night. "But you don’t know this time, do you?"
His gaze faltered, the usual gleam in his eyes dimming for a fraction of a second. It was a flicker of something too vulnerable, too raw—something he rarely let anyone see. It was the truth that lingered behind his endless bravado, the truth that no amount of strength could hide: he didn’t know if he could win this time.
And you had known it all along.
Satoru had always come back to you. Bruised, battered, bleeding—but alive. He would stumble through the door with that infuriating grin, wipe the blood off his face with the back of his hand, and act like nothing had ever been in doubt. But this time was different. This wasn’t just another battle against curses or enemies who fell beneath his overwhelming strength. This was Sukuna.
"I’ll bring Megumi and Tsumiki back," he had said, as if they were just lost children in the woods, waiting for him to lead them home. But Megumi had slipped beyond reach, swallowed by the very darkness Satoru had spent his life fighting. How could he promise to bring him back when he could barely keep the pieces of himself together?
"You can’t save everyone, Satoru," you whispered, your heart breaking as you said it aloud, the truth as bitter as the lie was sweet. "Not even with all your power."
His hand tightened around yours, his grip almost too strong, as if holding onto you could somehow anchor him to the world, to the promise he so desperately wanted to believe. "I have to try," he murmured, his voice rough, as if the words themselves were painful to speak. "For you. For Satoshi. For them."
Satoshi. Your son. His name hung in the air like a thread between you, a fragile tether that held what little remained of your family together. You could see it in Satoru’s eyes—the fear of leaving his child without a father, the guilt of not being able to protect him from the storm that loomed over your lives. But you also saw the lie there, the same lie he told every time he went to war. The lie that he would come back unscathed, that he could shield all of you from the world’s cruelty just by being who he was.
But he couldn’t. Not this time.
"Satoru," you whispered, your voice breaking. "You don’t have to be everything for us. You don’t have to be invincible."
His eyes softened, and for a moment, just a moment, the mask slipped. He let you see the man beneath the legend, the man who was just as terrified as you were. "I’m not invincible," he admitted, the words barely audible. "But I can’t give up on them. I can’t give up on us."
You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Even in his most vulnerable moments, even when the odds were impossibly stacked against him, Satoru Gojo refused to let go of hope. He clung to it as fiercely as he clung to you, because to do anything less would mean admitting that maybe—just maybe—he wasn’t strong enough.
And in that moment, you realized something: it wasn’t that your husband was a liar. It was that he couldn’t afford to tell the truth, because if he did, the weight of it might break him.
So, you let him hold onto his lie, let him believe in a future where you, Satoshi, Megumi, and Tsumiki could all be together again. Maybe it was kinder that way. For both of you.
As the night stretched on and the inevitable dawn crept closer, you pressed your face against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. For now, that was all you had—the warmth of him beside you, the sound of his heart still beating, the fragile hope that somehow, against all odds, he would come back to you.
And maybe, just maybe, the lie would come true.
“I always have, don’t I?” he added, a faint smirk pulling at the corner of his lips, that signature bravado surfacing in an attempt to reassure you. “I’ve always won the day. I’ll come back.”
Your husband’s bright eyes—those crystalline blue eyes that had seen so much, fought through so much—they betrayed him. Beneath that unwavering confidence, there was something else. Fear? Doubt? It was a crack in the façade of the invincible man you married, a truth too terrifying to speak aloud.
Your throat tightened as you met his gaze, the silence between you heavier than any words could be. He had always come back, hadn’t he? Through every impossible battle, every mission that should have left him broken or worse, he had somehow returned to you, grinning as if the world itself were a game only he knew how to win.
But that wasn’t the whole truth. The nights he returned bruised, bleeding, barely standing, those nights played in your mind like a broken record. He made light of it all, brushing off your worries with a laugh, a kiss, a flippant “I’m fine.” But those were lies too, weren’t they? Lies wrapped in love.
“Satoru,” you breathed, your voice unsteady, “you don’t have to say it.”
His smirk faltered, just for a second, and that brief flicker of vulnerability nearly undid you. He pulled you closer, his hand cradling the back of your neck, his touch tender but laced with desperation. "But I will come back," he insisted, his voice soft but firm. "I always do."
You wanted to believe him. You needed to. Because to imagine a world where he didn’t come back, where that promise wasn’t fulfilled, was a world too cruel to fathom. But tonight, as the shadow of Sukuna loomed larger than ever, the weight of that lie pressed down on you both. What if this time, his strength wasn’t enough?
“What if…” you started, but he silenced you with a finger pressed gently against your lips.
“No ‘what ifs,’” he whispered, though you both knew better than that. Satoru had lived his life defying fate, bending it to his will. But not even the strongest sorcerer could escape death forever.
His hand moved from your neck to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of your face as if trying to memorize it, as if this moment might be his last chance. You could see the weight of the world in his eyes, the burden of being the one everyone relied on, the one expected to face the impossible—and win.
But for once, he wasn’t invincible to you. He was just a man, your husband, and for the first time, you saw the lie for what it was: his way of protecting you. Of protecting himself from the truth that this might be the one fight he couldn’t walk away from.
You placed your hand over his, feeling the warmth of his skin, and in that moment, you didn’t care about lies or truths, about promises or fears. You just wanted him here, now, with you. "Then stay with me a little longer," you whispered, your voice breaking.
Satoru closed his eyes, exhaling deeply, and nodded. "I’m here," he said, pulling you into his arms, his voice a soft, almost broken promise. "I’m here."
And for tonight, that would have to be enough.
The two of you stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, neither speaking, just holding onto each other as if by doing so, you could freeze time, stop the inevitable from coming. You memorized the feel of his hands on your skin, the warmth of his body against yours, the sound of his heartbeat under your palm. You clung to the moment as if it were your last.
As the night wore on, you both lay down, tangled in each other’s arms. Sleep didn’t come easily, and when it did, it was fitful, haunted by the looming specter of tomorrow. You held onto him tightly, afraid that if you let go, he would disappear into the darkness, never to return.
In the early hours before dawn, Satoru stirred, his arms tightening around you one last time. The weight of the night clung to both of you, thick and heavy, the silence between his breaths and your heart beats a fragile barrier against the coming storm.
You felt him shift beside you, his warmth pulling you closer, as if holding you tighter could keep the inevitable at bay for just a moment longer. His fingers traced gentle circles on your back, his touch familiar, grounding, but laced with an unspoken tension.
"I’ll be back, hm?" he whispered again, the words soft and lingering in the stillness. His voice, usually so sure, faltered at the edges, as though he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to comfort you.
He said it like a prayer, like repeating it enough times could bend fate, twist reality to make it true. But you knew better. You both did. Those words, though meant to soothe, carried the weight of all the times you’d heard them before, and the growing fear that this time might be different.
You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. The knot in your throat tightened, a lump of unspoken fears and uncried tears. There was too much to say, too much that couldn’t be put into words without breaking whatever fragile hope remained between you. If you spoke now, you might lose whatever composure you had left, and you needed to hold on to it, if only for his sake.
Instead, you pressed your face against his chest, your ear resting just above his heart. The steady, rhythmic beating echoed through your body, its cadence familiar and reassuring, a sound that had become synonymous with home.
It was the same heartbeat you’d fallen asleep to countless nights, the one you’d clung to after long missions, when he’d returned battered but smiling, and you’d held him just like this—like he was your anchor to the world.
But this time, it was different. You weren’t just seeking comfort; you were memorizing it. The sound, the feel of his chest rising and falling beneath your cheek, the warmth of his skin against yours. You were committing it all to memory, engraving it deep into your soul because, somewhere in the back of your mind, a quiet voice whispered that this might be the last time.
Each beat of his heart became a marker, a reminder of the moments you had shared, of all the laughter and love and quiet nights like this one. But now, it also carried the weight of what could be lost. The inevitability of tomorrow pressed against your chest, suffocating, as if time itself was slipping through your fingers.
You tighten your grip around him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, unwilling to let go, even as the sky outside began to lighten with the first traces of dawn. The sun was rising, and with it, the time for him to leave drew nearer.
Satoru’s hand moved to your hair, his fingers threading through it gently, soothingly. He kissed the top of your head, and though his touch was as tender as ever, there was a lingering sadness in it. He held you like he was trying to memorize you, too, like this was as much for him as it was for you. He didn’t say anything more, perhaps because he knew that no words would ease the ache that had settled between you, a chasm neither of you could cross.
As the first rays of sunlight filtered through the window, casting a soft, golden glow over the room, you felt him shift again, his breath hitching slightly as he prepared to rise. You wanted to beg him to stay, to forget about everything else, just for today. But you knew he couldn’t, and you wouldn’t ask that of him. He had a duty, a burden that he had carried for as long as you had known him. And no matter how much you wanted to keep him safe, you couldn’t shield him from what was coming.
When he finally moved to leave, your arms loosened around him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let go completely. Not yet. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment longer than he needed to, as if he, too, was trying to hold on to this last fragment of peace before it was shattered.
“I’ll be back.” he whispered once more, his breath warm against your skin.
This time, you didn’t respond because you couldn’t. Instead, you closed your eyes, letting the sound of his heartbeat linger in your memory, holding onto it as tightly as you held onto him. The door would close behind him soon, and with it, he would walk into the fight of his life, a battle that you both knew could be his last. But for now, in this fleeting moment before dawn, you let yourself believe in the lie, because the truth was too painful to bear.
And when he finally left, the door closing softly behind him, you were left alone in the silence, the echo of his promise lingering in the air, fragile and fleeting.
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HE DOESN’T KNOW WHY, BUT HE JUST FELT LIKE TALKING. Quite unlike him, if he was being honest with himself.  But as Gojo Satoru sat beside Itadori Yuji, all he could think about was peace of mind. And to do that, he thinks he should talk.
Gojo Satoru could feel his usual smirk playing at the corners of his mouth, though today it felt more subdued. They had been talking for a while now, their conversation meandering from one thing to another. But beneath Satoru’s lighthearted tone, Yuji sensed something deeper. Something weighed heavy on his teacher’s mind.
“When something happens, I want you to be there for me, Yuji.” Satoru said suddenly, his eyes staring ahead. His voice was soft, but not weak—it carried the strength of someone who had lived with the knowledge that he had to bear the world on his shoulders. “I have love and dreams too, you know.”
Yuji blinked, surprised by the vulnerability in Satoru’s words. He wasn’t used to hearing his sensei talk like this, with a depth that seemed so different from his usual carefree attitude.
Satoru glanced at Yuji, his smile widening slightly, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “But you know, one day, everyone will grow up and leave me behind, right?”
Yuji didn’t know how to respond. The idea of leaving Satoru behind felt impossible. But Satoru’s words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his loneliness. It was a rare glimpse into the mind of the man everyone thought was invincible.
“I have high hopes for you.” Satoru continued, his voice becoming more playful, but there was something fragile beneath the surface. “Desire and ambition!”
“I could never forget you.” Yuji said as he smiled nervously, trying to deflect the seriousness with humor, though it didn’t quite land. 
Satoru sighed. “I honestly think it’s better to have someone stronger than me who can truly forget my existence.”
“Isn’t that a bit concerning, Sensei?” Yuji asked after a moment, tilting his head. “Are you okay with that?”
Satoru’s smile softened. “Ah, you’re so young and naïve!” he said fondly, his voice carrying an almost paternal tone. “You’re brimming with confidence, aren’t you?”
The conversation lulled, and for a moment, the two sat in silence, the air between them thick with unsaid things. And then, Satoru spoke again, but this time his voice was lower, as if he were confessing something he hadn’t shared with anyone else.
“You know, Yuji…..” Satoru began, his gaze distant. The most emotional Yuji had seen him to be. “Sometimes I wish I could just… run away. With my beloved. My wife. Megumi, Tsumiki, and little Satoshi too. I dream about it sometimes. Hiding us away somewhere no one could find us. No more battles, no more curses… just peace. We’d be a family again.”
Yuji looked at his sensei Gojo, stunned. He had never heard his teacher speak like this before, as though the weight of being the strongest had finally worn him down. Gojo Satoru’s dream of escaping, of living a quiet life with the people he loved—it was so human. 
So far removed from the man everyone saw as untouchable, undefeatable. But at this moment, Satoru wasn’t the strongest sorcerer in the world. He was just a man who wanted to protect the people he loved. A man who longed for something simple, something real.
“That’s my dream, my love and dreams.” Satoru whispered, his voice barely audible. “But I know it’s impossible. The world needs me too much.”
Yuji’s heart ached for him. He didn’t know what to say, so instead, he simply sat there, hoping that in his silence, his sensei could feel his support.
Satoru sighed, standing up and stretching as if to shake off the heaviness of their conversation. “Anyway, enough of that.” he said, flashing his usual grin. “Let’s focus on what’s in front of us.”
But even as he spoke, Yuji couldn’t shake the feeling that, deep down, Satoru Gojo longed for something far beyond his reach.
Yuji stared at Satoru, processing the weight of his sensei's words. It was hard to imagine Satoru Gojo, the invincible sorcerer who seemed so carefree, harboring such a vulnerable wish. A man who could crush enemies with ease, someone who always had the answers—yet, here he was, confessing a dream that would never come true.
“I never thought… you’d want something like that, Sensei.” Yuji admitted quietly, his voice breaking the silence. “I guess I never really thought about what you’d want outside of all this.”
Satoru glanced at him, a softer smile playing on his lips. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? When you’re as strong as I am, no one really thinks to ask what you want. They think you don’t need anything… or anyone.”
Yuji frowned, guilt washing over him. He hadn’t meant to think that way about Gojo Satoru, but it was true. He had always seen his teacher as larger than life, almost beyond human in his ability to control any situation, to be everywhere and nowhere at once.
"But... you have them, Sensei." Yuji said slowly, searching for the right words. "Your wife, Megumi, Tsumiki, and Satoshi… They need you, don't they? Maybe you can’t run away, but you still have something, sensei. A family. Isn't that enough?”
Satoru chuckled, but the sound was hollow, lacking its usual energy. He sat back down beside Yuji, his gaze once again distant. “You’d think that, right? But the stronger you are, the more people take from you. It’s like… I’m always on borrowed time. I’m always one fight away from leaving them behind too.”
Yuji swallowed hard. He’d never thought about Satoru’s life in that way. It was a sobering realization, that even someone as powerful as Gojo was constantly battling not just external threats but the fear of losing what little he had.
“I wish I could protect them from everything.” Satoru murmured. “Just take them somewhere far away… no more battles, no more cursed energy. Just… quiet. But no matter how strong I am, I can’t do that. I can’t just… leave the world to burn while we live in peace.”
He turned to Yuji then, his icy blue eyes piercing through the air. “You know, sometimes I think I was selfish for bringing them into my world. Megumi, Tsumiki, Satoshi… my wife. They didn’t ask for this. I chose this life for them.”
“Sensei.” Yuji started, unsure of what to say. His heart ached for Satoru. “They love you. And… they wouldn’t want to live without you, either. Even if it’s dangerous.”
Satoru’s lips twitched upward in a bittersweet smile. “Yeah, I know. But love’s a tricky thing, Yuji. It’s not enough to stop the world from trying to tear us apart. It never has been.”
Yuji nodded, not fully understanding, but feeling the gravity of Satoru’s words. There was a silence between them, but it was heavy with the weight of shared thoughts, of unspoken dreams and impossible futures.
Satoru leaned back, his hands resting behind his head. “But hey, that’s just how it goes, right? No point in dwelling on things we can’t change.”
He looked at Yuji with a bright grin, but it felt like a mask—one Yuji was starting to see through more and more. “So, enough about me. What about you? What are your dreams, Yuji?”
Yuji blinked, surprised by the sudden shift. “My dreams?”
Satoru nodded. “Yeah. You must have some. Or did you think I was the only one allowed to have them?”
Yuji scratched the back of his neck, thinking for a moment. “I guess… I don’t know. I never really thought that far ahead. I’ve been so focused on everything happening now, I never gave myself the chance.”
Satoru chuckled softly. “That’s the thing with us, sorcerers. We get so caught up in fighting for today, we forget to dream about tomorrow.”
Yuji looked down at his hands, feeling a strange sense of guilt. “Do you really think… you can never have that life you want?”
Satoru didn’t answer right away. Instead, he closed his eyes, letting the wind ruffle his silver hair. For a moment, he was just Satoru—not the strongest, not the invincible sorcerer, but a man burdened by the life he had to lead.
“I don’t know, Yuji……” he said quietly, almost to himself. “But I like to dream that maybe, someday… we could all disappear. And live. Just live.  Just me, my wife, Megumi, Tsumiki, Satoshi… away from everything. Living in peace.”
His voice trailed off, and Yuji could hear the longing in it. The truth was, Satoru Gojo might be the strongest sorcerer alive, but even he was bound by the same rules as everyone else. He couldn’t run from the world, couldn’t hide from the battles he had to fight.
But it didn’t stop him from dreaming.
Yuji looked at him with a new understanding, realizing that no matter how strong someone was, they still carried their own struggles, their own wishes and dreams. And sometimes, those dreams were just as fragile as anyone else's.
"Maybe one day, sensei." Yuji said softly, with an honest smile. "You won't have to fight anymore."
Satoru chuckled, opening one eye to glance at Yuji. "Maybe. But until then, we keep going."
And with that, the conversation ended, but the weight of it lingered between them—a reminder that even the strongest had dreams they longed to chase, even if those dreams were just out of reach.
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YOU THINK YOU WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT FOR A LONG TIME. When you wait for your eyes to close with finality, the weight of the years presses down on you, a quiet fatigue settling into your bones. You’re tired—so tired—and when you open them again, you're met with the familiar sight of Fushiguro Megumi and Gojo Satoshi. Your two sons, waiting for you to go and leave them. 
Megumi stands tall, his arms crossed as usual, but his gaze softens when he sees you. Satoshi, ever his opposite, smiles that wide, carefree grin of his. They both look at you, concern etched into their features.
"I'm exhausted." you tell them softly, the words slipping out like a confession you’ve been holding in for far too long.
“You can’t die yet, Mother......" Satoshi pipes up, his voice steady, but the cracks of fear were unmistakable. His usual bright demeanor falters, his hands trembling ever so slightly as he grips the hem of his shirt. His voice may be steady, but his eyes betray him—glossed with unshed tears, reflecting a grief he’s not ready to face. Not now. Not yet. 
“You’re still too young!” There’s urgency in his words, a childlike plea echoing in his tone, though he’s long since grown past childhood. The way his shoulders hunch forward, the way his gaze darts between you and Megumi—he’s holding on. Clutching to hope as if his words could anchor you to this world a little longer. 
Megumi stands beside him, more composed, but his silence carries a weight just as heavy. He nods, his expression solemn. “He’s right, Gen-san.” Megumi adds quietly.
His voice is low, restrained, as though he’s struggling to hold back everything he truly wants to say. His hands remain tucked in his pockets, his face as unreadable as ever, but his eyes—the eyes you’ve known for so many years—hold a flicker of something deeper. Desperation? Fear? Perhaps both.
"You’re only 48. You still have time left."
His words are careful, deliberate, each one carrying the weight of someone who’s had to shoulder too much responsibility, too much loss. The faint tremor in his voice betrays how much he’s already bracing himself for another wound, another absence he’ll have to carry.
You look at them both—Satoshi, who still clings to hope as though it could somehow rewrite fate, and Megumi, whose quiet strength has always shielded him from the full brunt of the pain—but not this time. They both stand there, torn between urging you to stay and accepting the inevitable.
But you smile at them, a soft, knowing smile that carries the weight of the years, the joy and the sorrow, the love and the loss. It's a smile that’s lived through the ache of life without Satoru, a smile that remembers every laugh, every argument, every stolen glance, and every moment that felt too brief. 
“I know, I know......” you say, your voice gentle, steady. There’s a peace in your tone that they don’t yet understand, a quiet acceptance that fills the space between you. “But I’m ready. I’ve missed Satoru... for so long.”
And in that moment, as you say his name, the air feels lighter, as if the years of separation, the longing, the silent ache in your chest begins to unravel. You missed him—not just in fleeting moments or in passing thoughts, but in the depths of your soul. Every day, every night. The space he left behind has been a constant companion, a reminder of what once was and what could never be again.
The tears in Satoshi’s eyes finally spill over, and Megumi’s lips press into a thin line, his jaw tightening, but neither of them say anything. They understand, even if they don’t want to.
Because love—true, enduring love—is something that even death can’t diminish. And they know you loved Satoru with all that you were, and perhaps, even now, they understand that your heart has been waiting for him all along.
The weight in your chest lightens as you speak his name. Megumi frowns but doesn't say anything more, and Satoshi’s smile falters, understanding settling into their eyes. 
You close your eyes once again, the world fading into a peaceful darkness. There's a brief moment of silence, a quiet passing, before a familiar voice echoes softly, teasingly:
“Did you miss me?”
Tears well up before you even open your eyes. You don’t need to see him to know it’s him. The voice, that unmistakable voice—playful, laced with all the love and mischief you’d missed for too long.
When your eyes flutter open, there he is—Satoru, standing before you, that brilliant smile lighting up his face. The tears fall freely now, but for the first time in years, they're not from
“Satoru......” you breathe, his name barely a whisper on your lips, as though speaking it aloud might break the fragile moment. Your voice catches in your throat, a mix of disbelief, relief, and the sorrow that’s lived inside you for far too long.
It’s a name you’ve spoken to the silence of empty rooms, whispered into the night when no one was there to hear, a name tied to a thousand memories you’ve held onto so tightly for all these years. 
The tears that have welled up in your eyes begin to spill over, blurring the figure before you, but you don’t need to see him to know it’s him. You feel him—his presence, his warmth, the way his energy fills the space around you like it always did. 
He steps closer, closing the distance between you in a way that feels like the erasure of all those agonizing years of separation. His familiar warmth envelops you, wrapping around you like an embrace you’ve longed for, like a homecoming after a journey that has lasted far too long.
The brush of his thumb against your cheek is achingly gentle, tender as he wipes away the tears that won’t stop falling. His touch, so familiar, yet so missed, sends a wave of emotions crashing over you—grief for the years you lost, joy for the moment you never thought you’d have again.
"You came back to me, finally." His voice is quieter now, the usual teasing that you had come to know so well is gone, replaced by something deeper—something raw and vulnerable, a depth of emotion he often hid beneath his bravado.
There’s relief in his words, but also a quiet sorrow, as if he too felt the weight of all the time you’d spent apart. As if he too had been waiting, missing you just as much as you had missed him.
His breath is warm against your skin, and you hear the slight tremor in his voice, that hint of fragility in the man who always seemed invincible to you. There’s a vulnerability in him now, standing before you, as though he’s afraid this moment might not be real. Afraid that if he holds you too tightly, you might slip away again.
His thumb continues to trace gentle patterns along your cheek, the rhythm of it soothing and familiar, grounding you in the reality that he’s truly here. And as he looks at you, his bright blue eyes softer now, there’s a depth to them that speaks to all the words left unsaid, to all the years spent in separation, to the weight of the grief he carried alone.
"I waited and waited, stalling some gods....." he continues, his voice just above a whisper now, the teasing facade stripped away, leaving only the rawness of his feelings. "I waited so long, and every day… I missed you."
There’s a moment of silence that stretches between you, heavy with the unspoken sorrow of time lost, of love interrupted by forces beyond your control. His hand, still cradling your face, trembles just slightly, as if even Satoru, with all his strength, couldn’t bear the thought of losing you again.
The weight of it all—of everything you endured, everything you lost—comes crashing down at once, and you let out a soft, broken sob. You feel his arms wrap around you, pulling you against him, holding you close like he’s afraid to ever let go. 
“I missed you too. So so much.” you whisper into his chest, your tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt. “I never stopped missing you, Satoru.”
You feel his chest rise and fall with a deep breath, his lips pressing softly against your forehead. And for the first time in what feels like forever, the sorrow that’s been living inside you begins to ease. It doesn’t disappear entirely—grief never really does—but here, in Satoru’s arms, it feels lighter. It feels like, maybe, you can finally rest.
And in that moment, you realize that the exhaustion, the waiting—it was all worth it. You're home.
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epilogue
The afterlife wasn’t exactly what you expected. Instead of floating through clouds or endless fields of serenity, you found yourself at what looked like an airport terminal. Before you could process how bizarre this was, you spotted them—Kaiko and Namie, both waving like maniacs from the crowd.
“Finally!” Kaiko shouts, sprinting toward you with the grace of someone who has no concept of personal space. Namie follows, beaming brightly, and within seconds, they’re both squeezing the life out of you.
“Guys, air... I need air!” you gasp, but they only hug you tighter. Kaiko plants a kiss on your cheek, and Namie loops an arm around your waist like they’ve been waiting years for this reunion.
“We missed you so much, you know?” Kaiko pouts, ignoring your protests. “The afterlife just isn’t the same without you.”
“Excuse me.” You look over Kaiko’s shoulder to see Satoru, sunglasses slightly askew, his mouth pulled into a pout that could rival a spoiled child’s. “You’re hogging my wife.”
Kaiko smirks, not even turning to look at Satoru. “Your wife? Funny, because I’m pretty sure I was her first love.” She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head ever so slightly as if daring him to challenge the claim.
Satoru's eyes narrow behind his shades. “That was ages ago, you homewrecker! She married me—” he steps forward, pointing at the both of you— “not you.”
“Oh please,” Kaiko rolls her eyes. “I’ve known her longer. I laid the groundwork. I was and always will be the original concept!”
Satoru steps closer, his height towering over Kaiko but Kaiko isn’t fazed. “She chose me.”
“She settled for you, shitty eyes!” Kaiko quips, her grin widening. “There’s a difference.”
And that’s all it takes. Satoru’s eyebrow twitches, and suddenly they’re in each other’s faces like squabbling children. You can barely get a word in before they start throwing insults—Kaiko jabbing at Satoru’s height, Satoru boasting about his undeniable charm.
“Guys, seriously?” You rub your temples, trying to hold back laughter. “This is ridiculous.”
Geto Suguru, ever the voice of reason (or at least the one who knows when to pick his battles), sidles up beside you with a casual smile. “Looks like some things never change.”
You grin at him, feeling a sense of ease that only Suguru can bring. “Tell me about it. Can’t believe I’m back and they’re already fighting over me.”
“Typical Satoru!” Suguru laughs. “He never could handle competition.” He offers you a knowing look, then gestures to the absurd scene in front of you. “Should we break it up?”
“Nah, let them tire themselves out.” you reply, waving a hand dismissively. “They’ll realize how stupid they’re being soon enough.”
As if on cue, Kaiko flicks Satoru in the forehead. “She loved my kisses first!”
“Oh, for—" Satoru huffs, about to lunge at Kaiko when you step in between them. “She loved mine more!”
“Oh shut up,your kisses are slimy and disgusting!”
“HUH!? You take that back!”
“Ugly frog! Bwah!” 
“Alright, enough.” You shake your head, stifling a laugh. “Satoru, Kaiko, stop acting like children. I’m here for everyone, okay?”
“Everyone except Kaiko.” Satoru mutters under his breath.
Suguru chuckles beside you, giving you a side glance. “Welcome back.”
You smile, patting his shoulder. “Good to be back. I see things haven’t changed much.”
As Kaiko and Satoru continue bickering like they’re back in high school, Suguru leans over, smirking. “Should we take bets on who wins this round?”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Nah, I’m putting my money on Namie. She’s going to step in and drag both of them away soon enough.”
And, just like clockwork, Namie swoops in, grabbing Kaiko by the arm and tugging her toward the exit, muttering about “taking this fight outside.”
Satoru watches them go, arms crossed, still pouting. He looks at you, expectant, as if waiting for reassurance.
You chuckle, stepping closer and placing a hand on his chest. “Relax, Satoru. You know you’re the one I chose.”
His pout softens into a grin, and he leans down to kiss your forehead. “Damn right.”
And with that, the chaos of the airport fades into the background, as you bask in the comfort of having your husband by your side—and of course, the endless entertainment of old rivals.
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rcmclachlan · 2 days
Text
8x01 coda
Inspired by @dadbodbuck's devastating post.
+
When Eddie draws in a breath, there's an audible crackle. It sounds almost like rales, or maybe heartbreak just manifests as broken glass and burnt particles from a discharged weapon in the lungs. He drops his head onto his chest as though it's too heavy to hold up and says, voice dead, "I don't know what else to do."
Tommy takes a sip of his beer—his fourth of the night—and stares at the ceiling while he tries to come up with the magical answer they've been searching for ever since the Skype call cut out. He frowns. Who still has a popcorn ceiling in the 2020s? He could scrape, skim, and sand it in a weekend.
Evan helpfully mutters something about non-native species into Tommy's thigh, a wet patch of drool expanding where his mouth is smushed into the denim, and Tommy presses his fingers slightly into the back of his neck. He settles almost immediately, then shows his appreciation by opening the floodgates again, soaking right through to Tommy's skin. He's still wearing the cone hat.
"Maybe there's nothing else to do," Tommy muses quietly. He takes another sip of the Nose Job he has no choice but to drink, because for some reason it's all Eddie has in the house. It tastes like grass.
"Used to be that when he was mad about something, he'd tell me to my face." Eddie lifts his head, only to drop it back against the edge of the couch. He's been sitting on the floor for almost an hour. "Even when he was little. He'd plant his feet and say it point blank: I'm mad at you."
Tommy huffs a reluctant laugh at the image.
"Guess he clocked that the reason he's said it so many times is because I never fucking learn." The crackle in Eddie's lungs is loud and awful. Tommy peers down to make sure there isn't blood in Eddie's teeth. "I just... I just hurt him, over and over. I've been doing it for years."
"Hey, no—" Tommy starts.
But Eddie either doesn't hear him or doesn't want even a crumb of kindness tossed his way, because he pushes on, voice growing weaker with every word. "I can blow up a million balloons and I can love him more than anything or anyone, but it's never going to be enough to make up for any of it. He cut his losses. I-I can't even be mad about him hating me, because I can't blame him."
With a wet gasp, Eddie turns his head against his shoulder and shudders.
Inhaling through his nose, Tommy closes his eyes and tries to see things from Christopher's point of view. It takes a few tries, mostly because of a gangly, desperate boy from thirty years ago who would've gladly sacrificed a limb to see his father show him a fraction of the love Eddie Diaz has for his kid.
But once Tommy shoves his inner child out of the way, he can see what Chris sees with startling clarity. Evan's said before that Chris hates their job, is terrified of losing Eddie or Buck the way he lost his mom. Tommy knows a little about Eddie's messy dating history and how it basically amounts to him just chasing one ghost after another out of some misplaced sense of duty to Chris—without ever asking Chris what he actually wants, or what he wants for Eddie.
The thing with his dead wife's doppelganger is too much for even Tommy, and he heard about it second hand. He can't imagine what it was like for Christopher to walk into that.
Tommy opens his eyes and looks down at Eddie, who's hunched over like an animal trying to hide a wound. He looks like something that belongs in the Louvre. The Despair of the Father Whose Best Isn't Good Enough (2024), oil on canvas.
"Eddie," he says gently. Any louder and Eddie will crumble to ruins. "There's nothing more for you to do other than what you're doing. Keep loving him and keep showing up for him, even though it hurts. He will talk to you again."
"How do you know?" Eddie mumbles into his own shoulder.
"Because if he hated you, he never would've taken the call in the first place."
Evan sighs in his sleep, and Tommy runs his thumb over the just-buzzed edge of his nape so softly it wouldn't wake a baby, never mind a full-grown man. He thinks idly about the way people bleed themselves dry for love, and for hope.
He wouldn't spare his father a single drop of blood. He thinks he'd tap a vein if Evan asked.
Pressing his lips together, he nudges Eddie with his foot until Eddie lifts his head. His eyes are glassy and rimmed red, but there's a little less devastation in his gaze than there'd been when he'd shut the laptop and gone straight into the kitchen for the beer.
"Just give it time," Tommy says.
Sniffling, Eddie looks at the hand Tommy has on Evan's neck, and tries to muster up a smile. "And how much more time are you going to give before—"
"Nope," Tommy cuts in, because that's a conversation for another time, another place, and another person. "You think I won't literally kick a man when he's down?"
It's not his best work but it makes Eddie laugh, so he calls it a win.
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itsasilentreader · 1 day
Text
ᯓ★ 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 ― 𝐇𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: idol!Hyunjin x fem!reader
𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 3,2k (got a little carried away lol) — 𝟮𝟮 𝙢𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙
𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, comfort
𝙏𝙒/𝘾𝙒: hurt/comfort, reader's insecure and hyunjin is being oblivious most of the time
𝘼/𝙉: This is also a request. I normally don't really like reading angst but writing it is so much fun lol. Hope you'll enjoy this one!
⤷ 𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘺.
⋮ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
You were heading to the studio with lunch for Hyunjin and the others. He didn’t reply to your texts all morning so you thought you’d surprise him and the others with lunch. You know how they can be when they are busy, so they probably appreciate it if you bring them something to eat.
You entered the building and down the hall to the studio they’d probably be at. Stopping in front of the door, you see it was not fully closed. Raising your hand to knock before entering, your hand comes to a halt when you hear your boyfriend’s voice.
You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, really. It was just that his voice was a little louder than usual, and you happened to stop by at the wrong time.
“Man, it’s so annoying. My phone keeps blowing up and she won’t leave me alone,” you could hear him let out a frustrating groan. “Sometimes she’s just… too clingy, you know? As if she can’t do anything by herself. ‘S driving me crazy.”
Murmurs followed your boyfriend's confession, but your heart was pounding so loud to hear their responses. Hyunjin said it so casually, but his words hit you like a punch to the gut.
Clingy? He thought you were being too clingy?
You thought you were just showing how much you cared for him — it hadn’t felt like too much. But now it felt like you overstayed your welcome like everything you did and every touch had been one too many.
Fighting back the sudden tightness in your chest, you swallowed hard. You stood by the door for a minute gathering your thoughts, before silently turning around to walk away. Your heart now aching with a newfound distance you weren’t sure how to close.
Apparently, your lingering by the door hadn’t gone unnoticed by one of the members. Felix saw something from the corner of his eye and before he could say something, he saw you turn around and walk away from the studio.
He frowned at the words of his friend and the thought of you possibly overhearing him. “She just cares about you,” Felix spoke up before getting out his phone to text you. He didn’t get a response from the older boy, at least not a verbal one.
You arrived back home when you heard your phone going off. Could it be Hyunjin? Did he text you a lie about how he was just busy and didn’t see your texts coming through?
You hated this. You hated this feeling of being lied to. If he thought it was too much, he should have just said so instead of going to his members behind your back.
Sure, he can vent to his friends. It’s not like you don’t do this with your girlfriends. But complaining about your partner and being actually hurtful? You wouldn’t do that.
You set down the bags that contained the lunch boxes before getting your phone out of your purse. It was Felix, asking if you just stopped by. He had seen you turn around and walk away instead of coming in.
You quickly typed a reply, saying you did want to stop by but forgot something at home. It wasn’t really a lie that he would believe, but at this point, you didn’t want to talk about it.
Your heart felt heavy and when you finally sat down on your couch, you felt the pressure behind your eyes building up.
Maybe you were overreacting? No, this was a valid reaction to something that felt so hurtful. This started a spiral of overthinking.
Were you really that clingy? And was it so bad that he might consider breaking up with you? He knew your last boyfriend said one of the reasons he broke up with you was because you were so overbearing towards him. But it was just because you love to show people you care about them.
In the beginning, Hyunjin assured you multiple times that you weren’t overbearing. He said he loved it when all your attention was on him and that you made him feel so loved and special with every little thing you did for him.
So what has changed?
You had hoped your afternoon would be filled with spending some time with your boyfriend, his friends and good food. Instead, it was filled with overthinking and tears.
In the days that followed you tried to act as if nothing was wrong. You tried to continue on, but his words echoed in your head and it made it impossible for you to be as relaxed as before.
Hyunjin could feel you were pulling back slowly, creating distance between the two of you.
The thing that stood out the most was how your frequent texting went from constant texting him things to a few texts a day to almost radio silence during the day.
Normally, you’d always ask him how his day was going, if he needed something to eat, if you could stop by to see what they were working on and even random things you’ve seen during the day that reminded you of him.
Now it felt like you only texted him out of necessity and not because you wanted to talk to your boyfriend.
The week continued, and it seems like the rift between you and Hyunjin has grown even wider. The tension kept knotting in your stomach and your hands kept fidgeting when you were alone together.
You were asleep, or pretended to be, when Hyunjin left for work and the dinners you had together were being eaten in an uncomfortable silence.
You cancelled a date night with the excuse of not feeling great and went straight to the bedroom. You didn’t come out for the rest of the night, leaving Hyunjin alone with his thoughts.
He felt like you were on edge, but he couldn’t figure out why or what had happened for you to be acting this way towards him. The sudden coldness and distance.
He had to admit, he missed your blabbing during dinner, or when you’re watching a movie and you tell him random fun facts about it. He just could not dwell long on your behaviour, because work still demanded a lot of his time and energy.
This resulted in the members deciding to go out to dinner together when they finished the last remaining details for the comeback. Felix suggested asking you along too; he got the feeling from his friend that something was going on between you.
Hyunjin hasn't talked much about you and what you guys have been up to lately, but he hasn't seen you in the studio during lunch lately either. You would normally come to surprise your boyfriend and the members while they were working hard on their comeback.
This also raised suspicions that you might have overheard Hyunjin's harsh words.
That brings you to here right now, at a table in a fancy restaurant, sitting next to Felix and Hyunjin. Your hands started fidgeting again, a habit you picked up the past few days.
Hyunjin sitting next to you, oblivious to your fidgeting, laughing and chatting with his friends - like hadn’t shattered your confidence with one careless comment.
“Hey, are you alright?” Felix’s voice was soft as he leaned closer, his concern clear. You gave him a small, forced smile.
“Yeah, just tired,” you mumbled. The lie felt heavy, but the ache in your chest felt even heavier.
Hyunjin’s laughter pulled your attention back to him. He looked so carefree and completely unaware of the hurt he’d caused. That’s what stung the most—how easy it was for him to say something that lingered with you, while he didn’t seem bothered at all.
Did he really not notice? Or does he not care enough to do something about it. Then again, you didn’t know if you should bring it up to him.
Felix spoke up again, “I haven’t seen you at our studio during lunchtime lately. What’s up with that?”
His attention was fully on you, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of yours. The question seems to caught you off guard. He observed you telling a forced lie to him about your absence. Suspicion confirmed.
Your eyes strayed quickly to Hyunjin but it seemed you didn't want to focus your attention on your boyfriend. His attention went to your hands, which were still fidgeting. He knew now that you indeed heard your boyfriend tell his members that he thought you were clingy and it was eating away at you.
This needs to be resolved quickly, he thought, but he didn’t want to intervene right now. It seems like you need a friend in this moment and he wanted to help you not have the troubling thoughts in your head for a moment.
He switched up the conversation with a different question to ease your mind, and you seemed to be eager to change the topic.
And this did work for a while, you were having good food and good conversations with the rest of the group. Except for Hyunijn, and it didn’t go unnoticed by him.
After the dinner ended, and everyone went their separate ways home, you fell back into an uncomfortable silence again. The car ride home seemed to last hours when it was in fact only a 20-minute drive.
Hyunjin tried to place his hand on your leg, but you just slightly turned your body the other way and faced the window the entire ride home.
When you stepped foot into your apartment, you immediately headed to your bedroom to change into your pyjamas. Hyunjin still was a little confused and watched you disappear into the bedroom.
Deciding to confront you about the distance he felt, he went after you. You were already in the bathroom, removing your make-up.
“Hey,” Hyunjin’s voice was cautious, a little hesitant. “Is something wrong?”
You didn’t answer him straight away. Your eyes found his and you looked at him through the mirror, before settling back to your own reflection to continue removing your make-up.
Should you admit that you’d heard everything? The hurt twisted inside you, mingling with the fear of pushing him away even more.
Finally, you turned to face him, your voice barely audible. “Do you really think I’m clingy?”
The question clearly caught him off guard, he just stood there and blinked at you. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but the words didn’t leave his lips.
The silence followed by your question was suffocating and it made you second — no, triple—guess all the thoughts and emotions you’ve felt for the past days. The reaction he gave you made your mind wonder if you might be overreacting to five simple words.
‘Sometimes she’s just too clingy’.
You felt so vulnerable, but you couldn’t hide your unspoken thoughts anymore. Your eyes stayed focused on Hyunjin. He swallowed thickly before parting his lips to speak. “You’ve heard?”
He had no idea you were at the studio, or near the studio when he was venting to his members.
A sad and tired sigh left your lips and you turned your attention back to your reflection, continuing your skincare. It felt weird, acting as if it was just a normal question, meanwhile the words chipped away at your confidence.
“It’s just... sometimes...” His voice finally broke the tension, but it didn’t sound as sure as you’d hoped. Running a hand through his hair, frustration flickering across his features.
You could see him trying to find the right words, but every second he hesitated only making your chest tighten more.
“What? Sometimes what?” you pressed on. “I’m sometimes too much? Am I too close all the time? Overbearing? I can’t do anything by myself?” Though your voice was quieter now, he could hear the hurt and uncertainty bleeding through.
He winced slightly at your words and pressed his lips together. He let out another sigh, “No, it’s not like that. I- I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words.
You didn’t respond to his words, just waiting for an explanation as to why he said you were ‘too clingy’ and ‘couldn’t do anything by yourself’. But the explanation never seemed to come, the words stuck in his throat.
Though, you weren’t sure what you wanted to hear. His silence felt louder than any explanation he could have given.
“I was venting, and I just… I didn’t know you heard that... I’m sorry.” Frustration was seeping into his features. “It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or- or what you do!” His voice softened and his eyes searched yours.
He didn’t know whether to take a step towards you and reach out or keep his distance, though the latter option is something you already succeeded in the past few days.
It didn’t feel good enough for you. The words fell flat between you, without meaning. You felt your chest tighten again and the suffocating feeling in your throat came back. The burning sensation of fresh tears behind your eyes was building up, ready to be released down your cheeks.
Turning away from him and nodded, “I get it, Hyunjin.” The man winced at the sound of your voice and hearing his name coming from your lips. “It’s fine. My ex said the same things, I’m used to it by now.”
It wasn’t fine. You weren’t used to it, not by a long shot. But you didn’t know if you could handle hearing more, or even if you wanted to.
Pushing past him, you went back into your bedroom. Turning on the lamp on your bedside table, you pulled back the covers and got into bed. Hyunjin lingered in the bathroom, trying to gather his thoughts on how he could explain to you he didn’t mean it like that.
He didn’t mean to hurt you, it was just in the heat of the moment and being stressed out because of work didn’t help either. Not that it should be an excuse.
You reminded him of the words your ex had said to you tugging at his heartstrings. That hurt. He knew it was a bad and rough break-up for you.
Even though it was so significantly small for him, something said in passing when he was stressed, holds an entirely different meaning and feeling for you.
You lay in bed staring at the window, silently letting the salty tears run down your face, and onto your pillowcase. From your position in bed, you reached out to turn off your light. The darkness engulfed you.
Hyunjin came into the bedroom after a minute. You felt the bed dip behind you, and he softly reached out to you. He rested his hand on your shoulder, trying to be comforting to you.
He could hear your breathing, uneven and heavy. Without seeing your face, he knew tears were rolling down.
The moonlight is peeking through the see-through curtains in front of the window., and it lit up your face. Right now, that was the only light in the room. You stayed quiet, not trusting your voice to say anything to your boyfriend.
“It’s not fine,” he murmured, almost like he was talking more to himself than to you. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” When he didn’t hear anything from you, he continued.
“I just…” He exhaled slowly, clearly struggling. “I didn’t know how to explain it. Sometimes, when I’m stressed or overwhelmed, I don’t know how to handle things. But it’s not about you. It’s never about you.”
His words hovered between you. The sting of what you’d overheard lingered, reminding you of how easy it was for him to call you clingy in front of the others.
You wondered if he even realized how much that had hurt, or if he was just trying to smooth things over now that he knew you’d overheard.
“Then why say it at all?” you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady. “If it wasn’t about me, why say it like that? Why make me feel like… like I’m too much?”
Hyunjin looked pained, his eyes flickering with regret as he gently pulled you to him in the dark. “You’re not too much. You never are.” At his words, you turned to face him.
Carefully he reaches for your hair to brush the loose strands from your face. “I know it's not an excuse to say I was stressed, but I really didn't mean it. The past few days I felt the distance between us and it ate away at me. I didn't know what was going on and what I had done to make you distance yourself from me.”
Your silence urges him to continue, “I didn't know how to bring this up, but I understand why you've been so distant these past few days. I was just venting to my friends without realizing this could hurt you. Especially after your break-up with your ex, I'm so sorry...”
His fingertips traced the side of your face before wiping away the tears that ran free. You swallowed hard, you wanted to believe him. You really did, because it is normal for people to vent about their feelings, good and bad.
But another part, the part that heard him so casually say you were clingy, kept you guarded.
Your hand reached out for his that was still lightly tracing your face, “I don’t want to feel like I’m smothering you, Hyunjin. I just… I don’t know what to do now.”
“You know, I missed your random texts. The one you always send if you see something that reminds you of me. And when you ask me how my day is going. The boys also have been asking about you, y’know.”
The sincerity in his voice made you look up at him. “They miss you at lunch too, just like I do.” For the first time since this conversation started, you saw the cracks in his usual confidence.
“It really hurt, the way you said it so casually too. And it felt like a punch in the gut after you know what my ex said to me. But it is my insecurity, not yours. I just need to figure out how to deal with it.”
He gently shook his head. “If you feel hurt about what I said, that is completely valid. I know it is an insecurity of yours, and I shouldn’t have been so casual about it.”
You let out a sigh and initiated intertwining your fingers with his. The small act brought a soft smile to his face. Watching your features, being lit up by the moonlight, he felt his racing heartbeat calm down.
“We’ll figure it out together baby. If I feel like I don’t need a distraction during work, I’ll put on my do-not-disturb mode on my phone, okay?” His words made you nod in agreement.
“And I will try to communicate my feelings more, especially when it comes to something like this. I realize now that I just have to talk about this when it bothers me.”
In response to your words, he nodded. “I love you, baby, so much.” Before you could respond he drew you closer, his lips brushing yours in a lingering kiss. “I love you too Jinnie.” You tugged him closer, kissing him with tender, quiet softness. You finally felt the tightness in your chest melt away.
He wanted to do better for you. His hand in yours felt like a promise—one he wasn’t going to let slip away.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
Ⓒ︎ 𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥. 𝗗𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.
190 notes · View notes
vanesycho · 1 day
Note
i love love love your writings so much!❤️
can i request a fic where the reader and mingyu are kissing. like its nothing just sweet and very very passionate kissing/make out session. like thats how they show deep affection and love towards each other and they say sweet nothings to each other while doing it as well. i don't know i just have a thing for kissing😩
maybe you could do a haechan version as well of this after gyu (i just love these boys so much like it actually hurts how much😩)
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a/n:thank you so much for your nice comment and request🥹I'll keep in mind to make a haechan version, hope you like it<3
wc:0,5k
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As soon as Mingyu got home, he threw himself directly onto the bed, you spoke without lifting your head from your phone "Tiring day?" he mumbled, lifted his head from the bed and spoke pouting "Your boyfriend is tired, can't you come and give me some attention?" You found it funny how needy he was and with a smile you put your phone down and moved closer to him.
You climbed on top of Mingyu while he was lying on his back, he held your waist with his hands and finally smiled widely at the attention he was receiving from you. You moved closer to him, Mingyu's hand started to caress your hips and after a while he felt your lips on his. He moaned into your mouth with pleasure, your lips were the best thing that came after a hard and tiring day. Mingyu always moaned and whined between kisses when he was this needy, he lazily put his tongue into your mouth, brought his hand up to your skin through your clothes, you let out a small moan as his warm hands met your skin.
You both pulled back for a moment to catch your breath, Mingyu straightening up in his seat and pulling you closer to him, resting his head on your chest. Your hand immediately went to his hair and you started stroking it. Your comforting touches made him hum, his thumb stroking your skin. “I missed you so much...I thought about coming home and being in your arms all day.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his pouty tone, this was Mingyu at his sweetest, like a petulant, sweet child, his lips were pout, his puppy-dog eyes looking at you. You tilted your head slightly to look at him and gave him a smile. “I missed you too, baby, but now that you’re in my arms, there’s no need to worry hm?”
He gave you his tired smile, when his gaze dropped to your lips, you already knew what he wanted. You leaned in, kissing him slowly with passionate. He grabbed your hips and pulled you against him, biting your lower lip lightly and switched places, positioning himself on top of you. He tried not to put his weight on you too much, leaned down to your neck and after inhaling your scent that he missed for a while, his kisses started from your neck and moved up your chin. He kissed your cheek, forehead, eyelids and finally your lip. He wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in your neck again, staying there. You continued to caress his hair, his breath tickling your neck slightly but you didn’t say anything. When Mingyu’s breathing sounds slowed down, you realized that he was starting to fall asleep and whispered, “Baby, don’t sleep like this, change your clothes first and sleep comfortably.” he mumbled but refused to get up, you chuckled, it seemed he wasn’t even in the mood to get up so you kept quiet. Let him sleep while breathing in your scent in your arms.
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giuseppe-yuki · 2 days
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anesthesia
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kimi antonelli x tiger shapeshifter!reader
w.c.: 2.3k
warnings: none, really.
part of my shapeshifter!reader spinoff series
summary: kimi + anesthesia? not a good combo.
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photo credits from pinterest :)
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in the spacey kitchen of kimi‘s family house, you bustled around with your boyfriend‘s mother, preparing the night‘s dinner- homemade gnocchi. both of you chatted idly as you waited for the lightly salted water to boil on the stove- it had to reach a certain temperature to be considered hot enough to put the pain-stakingly hand rolled gnocchi in. 
however, your peaceful moment was ruined when kimi busted though the kitchen doorway with a thin piece of paper in his hand. 
he clears his throat, wrinkling the paper in nervousness. 
you wipe your floury hands on a wet rag and hurry over to kimi. you didn‘t want to assume the worst, but what if he was hurt? did something happen at the mercedes facilities? gently putting your hand on his arm to comfort him, you question kimi. “are you okay, baby? what’s wrong?” 
thrusting the paper onto the dirty counter so both you and his mother can see, he explains. ”so…i just went to my dentist and he said i might have to have my wisdom teeth removed- like tomorrow afternoon.“ 
you huff in exasperation, lightly shoving your boyfriend aside in a joking manner. ”kimi! you had me worried for a second!“ 
he rolls his eyes. 
his mother laughs, having just finished reading the appointment overview. ”no, mia cara, he‘s just scared because he has to be put under anesthesia!“
kimi’s eyes widen, and he hurriedly tries to stop his mother from saying anything else. ”mamma, no!”
kimi’s mother just bats her son‘s hands away. smiling at you as if sharing a secret, she continues on. “last time kimi had to be put under anesthesia was when he broke his arm in a kart crash, and let’s just say- he went a little crazy.“
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you had never seen kimi so nervous before. not during your first date, not during the negotiations period with toto, and not even in the moments before doing fp1 in a formula 1 car for the first time ever!
kimi twiddled his thumbs and adjusted his seat every two seconds as you drove him to the dentist office in your custom mini cooper. 
keeping your eyes on the twisty roads of italy, you reach over with one hand to squeeze his hand. “it‘s alright, kimi,” you comfort, “i‘m sure the procedure will go fine! and, if you are scared of the anesthesia, don‘t be. everything will be okay.“
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everything was actually not okay. 
it started when the dentist’s assistant had fetched you from the nicely decorated waiting room of the dentist office. 
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“you are his… girlfriend, correct?” the assistant asks, flipping through a manila folder neatly labeled as ‘antonelli, andrea kimi’. 
you nod, trailing behind the woman in light blue scrubs through the maze-like hallways. 
“great!” she exclaims, opening a fancy white door and gesturing inside. “your boyfriend is here.”
when you walk in, kimi was slung over a dentist chair, eyes half closed and mouth stuffed to the brim with white gauze. his head lolled backwards and he was subconsciously twitching his fingers. even so, you applauded his ability to look so adorable under such conditions. you walk towards the chair, which was placed smack dab in the middle of the room next to some glistening metal tools and a big dental light that was shining directly into kimi’s face.
a lady in a white lab coat approaches you before you can talk to your boyfriend, hand out. “hello, you must be kimi’s girlfriend!” she says, beaming at you and enthusiastically shaking your hand. “i’m glad to say that the operation was a success!” letting go of your hand and scribbling something down on a piece of paper, she continues on. “i do have to say though, we did administer anesthesia in order to keep him comfortable for the procedure. he will be a little disoriented- ” 
before the doctor could finish her sentence, kimi roughly pushes himself up from the dentist chair, glaring at you. 
“WHO are YOU?!” he shouts, voice a little muffled by the gauze in his mouth. “get AWAY from me- i have a girlfriend!”
you look at him in disbelief. beside you, the doctor and the nurse muffle their laughter. 
“this is normal- usually the anesthesia lasts for a few hours, and he’ll be back to his regular self in no time!” the nurse explains.
you turn around to kimi aggressively punching the air around you, but missing every time.
“im warning you!” he slurs, “if you don’t get away from me, my girlfriend is gonna- is gonna eat you!” 
the dental assistant and dentist both raise a brow at kimi’s lowkey concerning words, but brush it off as another side effect of the anesthesia. 
“shut up, kimi!” you hiss in his ear, now trying your best to haul him out of the door in his disoriented state. 
he seems to cooperate with you momentarily from the operating room to the parking lot outside, until you reach your mini cooper.
“EWWWW!” he yells at the top of his lungs, causing several other people in the parking lot to look over. “I CANNOT BE SEEN IN A MINI COOPER! I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH MERCEDES.”
you slap your hand over his mouth, quickly mouthing sorrys to the people who probably had their eardrums explode from kimi’s screech. 
“kimi,” you reprimand. “you have to be quiet! we are in a public space and you are disrupting other people. now, you get inside the car right now.” 
he grumbles, but slowly stumbles his way into the passenger seat. 
you softly close his door and hop into your driver’s seat, sighing in exasperation. perhaps his mother was right. he did get a little crazy under anesthesia. maybe you should have called ollie for backup. 
after a bit of a struggle putting on kimi’s seatbelt, (he seemed to think it was a snake trying to strangle him) you back up from your parking spot and slowly make your way to the exit of the plaza. 
in the passenger seat, reclined all the way back with his feet on the dash like a passenger princess, kimi promptly bursts into tears. 
trying not to get hit by a random dude in a light blue vespa, you can only spare glances at kimi thrashing around in his seat like an eel, the only thing stopping him from flipping into the center console was the seat belt. 
“what??” you exclaim, head turning back and forth trying to see what’s possibly wrong with your boyfriend while also focusing on the road. “is there something wrong, kimi?”
“yes!!” he sniffles, wiping the streams of tears of his face. “you called me kimi and that’s not my name! my name is andrea. apologize right now!”
good god, you think, feeling peeved. you couldn’t wait until his anesthesia wore off.
putting on your best apologetic face, you quickly apologize. “okay, i am so sorry for that, andrea. how should i make it up to you?”
just like you flipped a switch, he immediately stops crying. “yay! thank you!” he says giddily, kicking his legs. “how about you get me ice cream??”
you don’t have to think twice before accepting his offer. the night before, you had researched a little bit about wisdom teeth surgery aftercare, and apparently ice cream was really good for you. besides, you felt like you deserved a treat after using so much energy to drag kimi out of the dental clinic.
you reroute to the nearest ice cream shop, and kimi thankfully stays silent for most of the car ride, but occasionally messed with the seat adjustment buttons a few more times than you thought was necessary. 
however, ten minutes to ice cream shop, at a stoplight,  kimi suddenly jolts from his position looking out the window. a shiny silver mercedes g-wagon sits glistening in the sun next to your tiny mini cooper. 
as if he just had neuron activation, he snaps his head towards you. “hey! you! did you know, i am a formula 1 driver for mercedes?”
the light turns green, so you step on it, the g wagon following at the same acceleration as you. 
“umm, yes! i do know that actually,” you say, navigating to the left-most lane. 
your boyfriend giggles mischievously, even though nothing was funny in the first place. “well,” he drawls out, holding up one finger. “i actually know how to drive very good. i can show you if you want?”
before you have a chance to react, your boyfriend grasps your steering wheel and yanks it aggressively to the right, almost running you into the expensive g-wagon. 
“kimi- i mean andrea! do not do that! ” you screech, prying his fingers off of the wheel and hurriedly correcting the car before it can cause any damage to any other vehicles on the road. 
he laughs and claps his hands at the g-wagon honking its horn at you, as if he didn’t just almost create a five car pileup in the middle of the road.
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thankfully, the rest of time goes smoothly without any incidents. well that is, until you got into the shop. 
“what flavor do you want, andrea?” you question, putting emphasis on the ‘andrea’ part. you did not feel like dealing with a breakdown just because you called him by the nickname that literally everyone called him. 
“stracciatella!!” he trills, twirling in a circle. 
ignoring the strange looks from other customers in the store, you place your and kimi’s orders, collect them, and snatch a comfortable looking bench outside of the store to eat your ice cream. 
of course, half-way through shoveling his ice cream into his mouth, (he smeared at least a fourth of his ice cream on his shirt) he decides that his memories of you would disappear again like it did in the dentist office, and he starts yelling bloody murder.
“EEEEEEEE!” he announces to every passerby in a five mile radius, jumping up and down while waving his arms. “i do NOT know this woman! she is trying to kidnap me!” 
you place your ice cream down next to you, snatch his flailing arms and shove him a tad roughly back onto the bench. “so sorry!” you shout to onlookers. “he’s under anesthesia right now- wisdom teeth removal!” your line seems to work, as no bystanders call the police on you, but he still continues to yell. 
you try every possible method you can think of, like begging him to stop screaming, trying to bribe him, and attempting to drag him to your car, but none of the above work, and he kept insisting that he didn’t know you. 
having no choice but to use your last resort, you make sure assure kimi that you will be right back (not that he particularly cared in this mindset) and dashed into a side street.
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padding quickly out of the alley by the ice cream shop, you approach kimi. he reacts exactly how you hoped he would- eyes widening in realization and a smile lighting up his face- a direct opposite of his suspicious glares and nasty side-eyes from before. 
“baby!” he shrieks, stumbling a bit towards you before clutching onto your fur. “i missed you soooo much!”
you wrap your tail around his body protectively to steady him, so he doesn’t fall.
“i’m glad you’re here,” he mumbles, petting you. “because a really weird lady literally tried to kidnap me! can you even believe that?”
you practically roll your eyes. he didn’t recognize you in your human form, but he did in your tiger form? unbelieveable.
carefully, you unwind your tail and softly nudge kimi onto your back. once you are sure he is secure on your back, you wind through several gaping tourists and an annoyed looking old nonna on the cobblestone street towards the parking lot. you purposely bow your head, trying your best to not look hostile to the passerbyers (it was kind of hard considering you were literally a tiger in the middle of a street in bologna, and with a groggy boy that looked suspiciously like the famed racing driver kimi antonelli sprawled on your back)
when you reach your hastily-parked mini cooper, you practically drag him off your back and use your teeth to yank him into the vehicle. double-checking to make sure no one was looking, you shift back into your human form, and speed back to kimi’s house in a record time that would probably make toto reassign you as the new merc formula one driver. 
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kimi’s mother cackles in laughter when she sees your disheveled-looking self trudge through the front door, one hand towing a tired kimi behind you. 
“i hope kimi didn’t cause you too much trouble,” she laughs from her position at the kitchen island, one hand on her hip. 
your boyfriend slumps onto his living room couch, one hand still stubbornly clasped in yours. he falls asleep within seconds.
“it was… alright,” you reply, raking your free hand through his curls. “if kimi ever needs to be brought home under anesthesia again though, i will definitely be bringing backup,” you admit. 
his mother nods, smiling. “i’m just glad he has a girlfriend like you to take care of him,” she states before walking away. 
you blush a bit at her words. you were pretty lucky to have such an amazing future in-laws and talented boyfriend. honestly, dealing with 
daintily, you take a seat next to kimi, cooing when he subconsciously nuzzles his head into your lap. maybe kimi under anesthesia wasn’t so bad, after all.
“i love you, kimi!” you whisper to your boyfriend.
suddenly, his eyes snap open and he shoves himself off your lap. “my name is andrea!” he pouts, glaring at you.
 placing your head in your hands, you sigh defeatedly. you definitely take back your statement. 
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a/n: sorry y'all i had the most shitty week (i failed my physics test 🥲) so i haven't been that active recently. i finally mustered up some energy tonight to type this one out lmao.
side note, i have reattached the taglist from my previous series just in case you guys would like to read the spinoff. feel free to let me know if you'd like to be removed or added to the taglist for this series! :)
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taglist: @ilivbullyingjeongin@ale-522@formula1-motogpfan@aceyalonso@my0hmary
@mbappebby@madkohi@rakshatos@heartsforleclerc@papaya-twinks
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tpwk-formula1 · 2 days
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Wow your fics are great 😊
may i please order sicilian crust with red sauce, kielbasa, fontina, buratta, pulled pork, parmesan cheese and to drink i would like diet coke, dr.pepper, mt.dew and sun tea please with Lewis💞💞
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Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
sicilian dating red sauce rough sex kielbasa "A preschooler is better behaved than you are" fontina "wipe that fucking smirk off your face" burrata "How many was that? three... I think you can give me another" pulled pork "God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you" parmesan "Awe... did that hurt? Tuff luck I'm gonna do it again" diet coke recording kink dr pepper dirty talk mt dew dom/sub sun tea sir kink dessert no served by Lewis Hamilton
Lewis x Bratty GF! reader
TW - bratty reader, mean Lewis, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, squirting... I did not incorporate filming in this one I'm so sorry
WC 1400+
Y/N POV
"A preschooler is better behaved than you are" Lewis roughly whispers into my ear while pinching my side. We were at a Mercedes team dinner currently and before we left Lewis decided it would be a perfect time for a quicky before getting a call letting him know we had to get there earlier than expected leaving me needy and wanting more.
"Oh whatever Lewis," I whisper back while still teasing Lewis through his pants. I could feel how hard he was and just before I squeeze his again I feel a rough hand grip onto my wrist squeezing so tight I wince softly before he tosses my hand to the side making me side there with my hand in my lap.
He kept his pointed look directed toward me letting me know I was on thin ice and needed to start behaving or I would pay later. So for the next 15 minutes or so I keep my hands to myself but I spend the time giving all my attention to Toto knowing how much it would piss Lewis off.
I could feel a rough hand gripping my thigh letting me know Lewis is picking up on my bratty games.
I just send Lewis a air kiss and a smile faking onnocence but that only pisses Lewis off further because he's trailing his hand up further up my thigh before stopping at the very edge of my panties and softly teasing me through my thong.
I can feel his pinky softly teasing my clit making me whine under my breath.
"Are you okay?" Toto leans into my ear and whispers making me look up at him with a smile.
"Ya, just getting hunger," I lie easily hoping he buys it. Toto doesn't question me further which has me turning my attention back to Lewis where I find him sitting their with a smirk.
"Wipe that fucking smirk off your face," I hiss at Lewis through clenched teeth which has his eyes darkening before he quickly pinches my clit making me whine a bit louder.
I knew some of the other team members heard me but they didn't question it.
s the dinner finally wrapped up Lewis had spent the whole time teasing me and lightly punishing me everytime I messed with him back.
"God, you're the worst-behaved person I've ever met. Like are you fucking kidding me?! You just embarrassed me in front of the whole team because I didn't fuck you before we left, fucking pathetic," Lewis scoffs while slapping my inner thigh several times.
"No, you spent over 20 minutes teasing me on the edge before we got the call, you could have spent 2 fucking minutes to make sure I came before we left the house," I snap back at Lewis while pushing his hand away only making his slap my thigh harder.
"God, you don't know when to shut the fuck up. It's like you enjoy knowing you pissed me off," Lewis scoffs clearly not impressed with my attitude.
"Don't talk the rest of the car ride. When we get home get into our room and strip in nothing," Lewis tells me making me huff and cross my arms against my chest before turning my body to face the window.
"You're fucking pathetic," Lewis scoffs back at my little act of defiance before we we pulling into our house.
I roughly get out of the car before slapping the door shut and marching my way through the door and into our room where I strip down into nothing debating on leaving my thong on just to piss him off further but I decided against it.
I sit on the edge of the bed and wait for Lewis to com eback into the room.
"Get on your hands and knees," Lewis tells me when he comes into the room where he starts stripping down while I turn and get into the middle on the bed in the position he told me get to get into.
You need to learn to fucking behave yourself," KLewis tells me while sending dowen rough slaps ontomy ass making me whine at the pain.
"Awe... did that hurt? Tuff luck I'm gonna do it again," Lewis tells me before sending down another reign of terror on my ass.
"Sir, too much," I whine out at the pain.
"it hurts," I cry out.
"It hurts," lewis mocks while slapping my ass hard again. He starts focusing on the same spot making sure to mark it up before he moves to my other ass cheak and giving it the same treatment. By the time Lewis was done with my ass I was left a sobbing mess under him.
"Get it together I'm not done with you," Lewis tells me while turning me back to my back and shoving 3 fingers into my pussy and attacking my G-spot bringing me to a quick orgasm.
"Fuck, sir," I cry out when the waves of my orgasm become too much but Lewis in no way slows down even slightly.
"Fuck, I love watching you fall apart under me," Lewis says with a smirk spread across his face.
"Sir, it's a lot," I complain through stuttered breathing.
"You can take it," Lewis says just before bringing his mouth down to my clit and sucking it into his mouth.
"Oh fuck," I cry out again when I feel another orgasm start to build deep in my stomach.
"Fuck, you've always been so easy for me," Lewis mumbles with a smirk making me cry out when the vibrations of his words flowed through my clit.
"Come on, I know you want to cum for me again," Lewis tells me roughly before softly biting down on my clit and speeding up his actions on my G-spot throwing me into another orgasm this time squirting all over Lewis soaking his face and mouth with my pleasure.
"Fuck, there it is, go on give me another," Lewis roguhly says while sitting back up and fucking my G-spot impossibly faster to bring me into another squirting orgasm.
Lewis knew if he kept fucking into my pussy I would explode all over him again in a matter of minutes.
"Come on baby, I feel you clenching. Let go," Lewis says while roughly attacking my clit with his other hand.
"Sir! Fuck!" I scream out again when my orgassm hit again this time soaking all of Lewis's chest with how hard I was cumming for him.
"No more," I beg when I start coming down from my orgasm.
"How many was that? three... I think you can give me another this time on my cock," Lewis tells me while pulling his brief off his body to reveal his hard cock sticking straight out and already has a bead of his precum dripping from his tip.
"Sir, please," I beg when Lewis just stares at me not doing anything.
Lewis just stares at me another second before he roughly shoves his cock into my pussy making me whimper at the stretch.
"So full," I gasp out making Lewis's thrust pick up in pace making me whimper when he starts hitting my cervix in quick succession.
"God, you're the neediest thing," Lewis scoffs when he can feel my overstimulated pussy start clenching around him warning him of my impending orgasm.
"You're gonna fucking hold it," Lewis tells me making me whimper.
"Please, I'll do anything, sir," I beg only making Lewis speed up slightly.
"Anything?" He questions with a smirk making me quickly nod my head in confirmation.
"You gonna be a good girl and stop being such a needy brat when you don't get what you want?" Lewis questions bringing me even closer to my orgasm not knowing if I'll be able to hold it back much longer.
"Yes sir!" I scream out while I start cumming all over Lewis's cock making Lewis speed up before he starts spilling his seed deep into my pussy making me moan at the feeling of his cum hitting the tight walls of my pussy.
"God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you," Lewis groans while pulling me into his chest. I bit my lip to keep myself from saying another snarky comment knowing Lewis has no issue punishing me again.
"Sorry," I mumble sheepishly before turning into Lewis's side and making myself comfortable for the night.
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novemberheart · 12 hours
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{overview} You get a promising call from Simon. You get offered a job.
{warnings} fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, innuendoes, soapgaz
Chapter 29 <- Chapter 30 -> Chapter 31
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“I have a hand that works, you know?” He half-teased. The said hand was resting against your hip, making no move to leave.
“I like doing this for you,” you replied, holding another bite of mashed potatoes in front of his face. Kyle made a face- not at you but at all the carbs that have been shoved in his face the last few days. He was able to leave the hospital yesterday, all the traveling nearly undoing all the progress he had made. He adjusted himself on the couch, a pained groan escaping him.
“Would help if you didn’t have to move all the time,” you whined, his groan making you wince.
There had been quite a few differences from when Simon was hurt. With Simon you were unattached, with Kyle you felt everything. Not physically, all the pain you felt had been self imposed from feeling bad for him. That only made you feel worse when Kyle pushed down his pain to comfort you.
“Do you want to sit out on the patio tomorrow? It’ll be sunny.” You hummed, walking back over to the kitchen to wash the dishes.
“Didn’t you just get onto me for moving?” He chuckled, trying to slyly get comfortable on the couch again.
“Yeah, but this will improve your mood,” you shot back.
“I’m alright,” he yawned, running a hand over his face. “Just need my girl,” it was so quiet you almost didn’t catch it. You smiled, bounding back over to him. You just got comfortable when your phone went off.
“Simon?” You questioned. There was a sigh on the other line. They had all only gotten a few days off at the hospital, Simon and John being shipped back out to where they were, Johnny filling in for Kyle after he helped transport him back to base.
“Pup,” he mumbled. “You being good?” He hummed.
“About as good as you,” you snickered back.
“Not what I like to hear,” he tsked back. “Your fever go away?”
“It broke this morning. Hasn’t been back since,” you explained, curling up against Kyle’s good side. The pressure and exertion of trying to heal Kyle had caused you to have a near constant fever. “I went out with Anais and Jane yesterday,” you continued.
“Talk to me,” he grumbled. You heard some adjusting on the other line. You wondered where he was. What it looked like. If it was cold or hot. You weren’t even sure if it was day or night.
“We just walked around in the rain yesterday. Vernie likes that rain. She got all wet and muddy,” you yawned. Even just knowing Simon was there made you relaxed. “Simon?”
“Yes, pup?”
“What does it look like where you are?” You questioned quietly. You expected him to shut you down, especially after his sigh.
“You wouldn’t like it, pretty girl,” he replied. “Bare and hot.”
“Is it nighttime?”
“Early morning,” he murmured. You could hear him yawn. You seemed to be relaxing him too.
“I miss you,” you mumbled.
“You’re a tough girl,” he assured. You whined against Kyle, his good hand resting on the back of your head. Why couldn’t he say he missed you? Maybe he didn’t. Yet why would he call you?
“Bye, Simon. Get some sleep,” you mumbled, hanging up.
“Don’t take it personal,” Kyle spoke. He had fallen asleep during the interaction, still filled up with pain medication. Your whine had woken him up.
“Sorry for waking you,” you soothed, cuddling under his chin. Your phone started ringing again.
“What’d I say about hanging up on your alphas?” His voice was rumbly and went straight through you. “Hmmm?” He pressed.
“Not to do it,” you mumbled back.
“I’ll be home in a week,” he told. “I’ll show you how much I miss you then.”
He hung up. Giving you no opportunity to respond. Your mouth fell open, a warm storm beginning in your lower stomach.
“Thanks Simon,” Kyle grumbled, your melted scent making the hairs on his arm stand up.
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There was a soft knock at your door, making Kyle’s eyes flash open. He’s been skittish since he’s been back. You weren’t sure if it had to do with the accident, or the fact he was your only line of protection should something happen while the others were away.
“Just Anais,” you soothed, pressing a kiss against his heated forehead. You pulled yourself out of his arms, his grip on you unrelenting. Vernie followed you to the door. “We’re going to go for a walk!” You shouted, grabbing Vernie’s leash.
“I’ll be watching you!” He shouted back, making you roll your eyes. So bloody protective.
“Hey, beautiful,” you smiled opening the door.
“Hello my beautiful girls,” she cheered, a wide smile lighting up her face. She eyed both you and Vernie, the puppies teeth already digging into the toe of her shoe.
“Vernie,” you whined, pulling her away. Anais just giggled.
“Hi Kyle!” She shouted. You turned, seeing Kyle’s arm waving as far as he could reach.
“Hey, Anais,” he greeted. “You girls be safe!” He pressed.
“Dammit, no talking to strangers,” you cursed, closing the door behind you. Anais giggled, interlocking her arm with yours. Jane was waiting by the elevator. You wondered when she would stop being so shy with you. You supposed she has come a long way since you first met. You should just be satisfied that she looks happy to see you.
“We have exciting news!” Anais practically shrieked.
“Oh really?” you hummed, pressing the close elevator button.
“Remember when we entered that baking contest and won?” She questioned.
“We got third place,” Jane corrected a furrow in her thick brows.
“That’s a win to me,” Anais shot back. “Anyways the person who ran the contest, he was also one of the judges- the one with the spikey hair- anyway he's opening a small bakery just outside of base and he asked if we wanted to work there. It would only be open on the weekend, but we'd have to come in on Fridays and get some baking done,” Anais explained. Something in your stomach didn't feel right. Your cupcakes had been so good that someone wanted to hire you? You barely even placed. Maybe the two other teams rejected his offer.
“I don't know if my alphas will let me have a job,” you replied honestly. Omegas working were uncommon. You had to have an alpha sign-off on it. Omegas weren't allowed to have bank accounts either- well without alpha approval. That doesn't even include the act of convincing your alphas to let you go off base, by yourself, working for a man they've never met. It didn't seem feasible.
“Well, can you at least try?” Anais pleaded.
You suppose you could.
“It's really not even working. Just five hours for three days. Fifteen bucks an hour,” Jane added.
“Sounds like he just wants cheap labor,” you sighed. You felt bad once you saw Anais' face turn. “Sorry,” you apologized. “I’ll talk to them, okay? I promise,” you swore. The happy smile returned to her face.
It might be a good thing. Getting out of the house a bit. It would provide you with some sense of routine. You would also be able to make a bit of cash and you would be with Anais and Jane.
It might be a good thing.
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“Do you think John and Simon would let me get a job?” you asked. Kyle choked on his tea.
“Why do you need that?” he questioned, wiping his mouth.
“Spending money?” you teased.
“That's what mine and Johnny’s paycheck is for,” he huffed back. He leaned down, pressing a kiss against the top of your head. “I can say without a doubt they would not let you have a job, sweetheart,” he sighed.
“You don't even know what the job is,” you whined.
“Lovie, it could be popping bubble wrap and they wouldn't let you,” he reminded. “What is it though?”
“At a bakery. It's with Anais and Jane too. Just for five hours, Friday and the weekends,” you explained.
“Fridays are Johnny's “day off” you know he’ll pitch a fit,” Kyle reminded. It wasn’t really his day off, just the days he worked the night shift so he got to spend the day with you- instead of sleeping like he should. “What would you be doing? Baking or selling?” Kyle continued.
“We’d all be doing a bit of everything,” you explained.
“So it’s a new business?”
“Yeah.”
“Off-base?” he questioned, making you chuckle nervously. This would be the final nail in the coffin.
“Yes,” you sighed.
“Might be better actually,” he sighed. Your eyes widened.
“Really?!” you gasped.
“Yeah. The clientele will be way different. Won’t be a bunch of worked-up alphas going just to please their omegas. Instead, it’ll be families with kids and people with boring office jobs.”
Why didn't you think of that?
“You think I have a shot?” you pressed, your hands resting on his good knee.
“Not saying that,” he mumbled. He winced when you saw your face scrunch. His hand rested on the back of your head. “You might though, lovie,” he soothed.
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You gasped when the front lock clicked. You could hear Kyle shuffling in the living area, like he was trying to sit up. Johnny poked his head in, a happy smile on his face when he caught sight of you.
“Macky!” you shrieked, wrapping your arms around his neck. He chuckled, his hands grabbing the back of your thighs hoisting you up.
“Missed you,” he growled, his teeth playfully nipping at your jaw. He walked you both over to the couch, flopping down with you pinned under him. He purred low in his chest, your scent mixing perfectly with Kyles. The two of you must've been inseparable. Speaking of Kyle, his hand rested on the back of the Scot’s neck, sending a shiver down his spine. “How’s the patient doin’?” he smirked, pressing a kiss against the frown adoring Kyle’s face.
“Was peaceful,” he sighed, going wide-eyed as his lips got caught with Johnny’s. He quickly relaxed, his hand gripping the back of Johnny’s mohawk. They both groaned, sending a shiver down to your toes. You were broken from your trance by the sound of a quiet thud. You looked over the back of the couch, watching as John kicked off his boots. You quickly slunk down not wanting to be seen. Guilt ate away at you as soon as you did it.
You two had made up- kind of. Yet, you wondered if it was just because you were feeling so weak at the time. You dabbed at your eyes, hearing the sound of his bedroom door closing. He had made no effort to greet you. Maybe because he was so hurt you didn't even notice he was there.
Or maybe he was having second thoughts too. Maybe he was caught in a moment of weakness when he apologized to you. What if he lied to you? What if he just said all those things in the hospital to keep you from spiraling so you could focus on healing Kyle? What if he was still just using you to heal his pack?
You couldn't live like this. You pulled yourself off the couch, the heated betas finally pulling away from each other, watching with careful eyes as you approached their alphas- your alpha's door.
His heart was like stone in his chest. If it wasn't for the teeth-gritting pain in his chest he would be completely numb. You didn't even look at him and you went out of your way to hide when you saw him coming. He felt sick. That sickness grew when he opened his bedroom door his eyes immediately falling on the one thing he hoped he wouldn't see.
Your nest was gone.
There was no trace of you in his room. In the whole time he's been away you hadn't stepped foot in it. He bit back a whine, his thumbs clawed at his sore eyes.
There was a soft knock on his door. He sighed, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. He assumed it would be Johnny, checking up on him or asking if they could order a pizza.
You stared at him, a little nervous. His breath hitched, his first reaction to grip you as tight as he could and apologize profusely until you loved him again.
Did you still love him?
Could you?
Your eyes welled up at the sight of him. He was exhausted, beaten down by the world and you. You didn't want to prolong this anymore. The hurt and sadness. He had been punished enough. You forced yourself forward, your arms reaching up towards his neck.
“Alpha,” you whined. His knees felt like giving out and your mind instantly shut off when he tucked you into the safety of his arms. He shut his bedroom door with his foot, his large hands gripping onto any part of you he could reach. He pressed you against the mattress, his body covering every inch of you. He murmured against you, soft apologies, honest compliments, and assurances. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. He shook his head against your neck.
“I need my omega back, pretty girl,” He sighed. His teeth scraped against the spot he envisioned his mark going. Your heart twisted. Your hand gripped the hair at the base of his neck, pulling his face up to yours. Your placed an experimental kiss against his lips, which he deepened.
You felt complete again.
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Hi friends!!!! Hope you liked this next chapter! 🧡See you in three days for Chapter 31! And let me know…….how long would it have taken you to get over the situation with John? Lots of love!
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karlachismylife · 1 day
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Wrote the intro the day I started this work and decided to leave it since it reflects the shitstorm in my head quite well, eh.
Okay Idk what it is with me today (I actually do know, I'm having a bad fucking night as a consequence of my own actions but I prefer not to think about it), but I just thought about task force 141 and reader that has such a bad withdrawal after their orgasm that they actually cry and not in a fun way (cue my lack of understanding how crying in bed can ever be fun, but i'm not here to kinkshame)
CW: NSFW (so minors and ageless blogs DNI, I'll block you), but there's barely any sex, hurt/comfort, body image issues, low self-esteem, chubby/fat!reader, written with afab!reader in mind (but most parts can be read as gn), potential mental health issues (?), thoughts of selfloathing and selfharm, smoking mentioned once at the end. Very self-indulgent and I'm definitely unwell, so yeah. It's also more focused on reader's inner shitstorm than the guys in many places so idk if this even really is enjoyable...
Starts as a single piece, then splits into individual blurbs/drabbles/oneshots + some polyamory cuz I'm spoiling myself today having done nothing to deserve it, lol.
They vary in size and tone since I've been writing them through several ups and downs in my own mental state, so please don't take this as a sign of which characher/combo is my favourite. I'm greedy, I like everything.
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This is unfair.
Like, you just had wonderful sex, probably came more than once in a short period of time, ears stuffed with cotton, limbs weak, head spinning... and it keeps spinning, sweet tingling on the skin turning into nasty rushes of cold, muscles too tense, but it's not a cramp.
You feel like shit, every possible hormonal and neuromediator crash downing on you, a hollow, depressing weight in your chest instead of a sweet afterglow. Sweat and cum feel disgusting on you skin, your skin feels disgusting, strangling, your whole body seems revolting, too heavy, too sluggish. A sticky, suffocating heatwave on your nape, but your chest is cold and covered in goosebumps, a feverish feeling clogging every pore. Nausea wrenches into your stomach and stops just before you can relievingly barf and get rid of this parasite inside.
You simply want to dig your nails into your own shoulders instead of his and rip the skin and meat off, free yourself from this burden (you're the burden). Each second as he stays blissfully unaware, holding you tightly with his big hands and panting into the crook of your neck, drags on like a hundred hours of pure torture - the torture of being yourself.
Throwing up feels like an appropriate reaction to how unappealing and ugly you feel.
You're spiraling. You couldn't fucking keep your own messed up emotional outburst - completely unreasonable and unprovoked, by the way - to yourself, and now it's going to be noticed. You'll ruin someone else's fun. Make it all about yourself when you've already been nothing but doted on, cared and provided for. Fucked so good that your body is still clenching around that magnificent cock deep inside you.
And you're fucking crying, like an ungrateful, egotistical brat. Never having enough, unable to provide something as simple as a hole to make someone else happy without fucking it up.
Ghost notices immediately. There's nothing that can escape this man, and definitely not his love's distress. He's not reacting immediately for a sole reason: he's frozen in fear, horrified that he made you cry. How - he's not sure, he always takes great care to stay within limits, never allows himself to push you further than you both agree on. But what if he slipped up? What if he got carried away? Did he cause pain? Did he say something hurtful in the heat of the moment?
"Fuck. Hey, hey, lovie... look at me... wha's wrong? Did I... did I hurt ya?" Good thing you're hiding your face and your red eyes so desperately that you can't see how distressed and downright terrified Simon looks, lost at the sight of your tears. When you shake your head and attempt to push him away to hide your pathetic sobbing, he somewhat calms down and brings his big calloused hands to cradle your face, gently prying your own palms away and holding your puffy cheeks tenderly. His thumbs brush your tears away as he holds you, holds you through the growing rage fit of touch aversion, through the shudders and actual wailing. At some point he moves his palm to cover your eyes, a dry, dark blinder to keep the world around you shut out, help you concentrate on his voice.
He's not talking, just humming, a familiar, deep, grumbling noise that soothes all the flashes of anger, hate and disgust in your brain. You're tired now, like you're always are after such an intense outburst, and as you go limp, he finally pulls away, only to pick you up - barely a strain, a direct spit in the face of your own insecurity - and bring you to the bathroom. A warm shower evens your distorted body temperature out, his hands running over your body and cleaning all the stickiness away bring back peace with your own skin. After a quick rinse Simon holds you, your head cradled against his chest, until you make a weak attempt to help him wash too - he lets you trace his body, that perfection you adore with all its old wounds, sores and scars, for a bit, and then finishes himelf.
Gives you fresh cotton underwear and his hige T-shirt, still holding you around your shoulders and keeping the comfortable pressure even while he changes the bedsheets, kissing your temple as you find it in yourself to help.
It's only after you settle on top of him, nice, clean comforter protecting your back against the world, head on his chest right next to his heart beating in a steady rythm, he finally breaks silence.
"Need anything else, lovie?" Just like that. No prying, no occusations, nothing that would put you on the spot. You can ask him to bring you the moon soaked in unicorn's milk, and he'll just nod, kiss your hand and start dressing up, already calling Johnny to ask where the fuck did Scots hide their last horned horse and if he happens to know where they enlist astronauts.
"Just you."
His grip on the small of your back tightens and you feel his uneven, scarred lips graze the top of your head.
"Ya've got me. Always."
Soap is running hot like a furnace, still shivering and panting after what he considers the best sex he has ever had (every time with you is). He lifts his face, buried into the crease of your neck previously, and starts peppering you with slightly sloppy, grateful kisses - your neck, your jaw, your lips, your...
When he tastes your tears and opens his unbelievably blue eyes to see your expression contorted in disgust, he panics. Pulls away immediately, hands both itching to grab you and shake a reason for that look on your face out of you and too scared to touch you in case this hatred is directed at him.
"Whit's wrong, leannan? Are ye a'right? Ye didnae lik' it? Shite, lass, Ah'm so sorry, Ah didnae mean tae-" He stops yapping only when he notices the way your lips tremble as you try to plead with him, sobbing that it's not his fault.
"'M sorry, I ruined it... I'm so sorry, sushine, I just... fuck I wish I wasn't so bloody sick in the head and ugly..." Speaking out loud only worsens your anger, directed solely at yourself, and you try to wipe your eyes furiously. As the tears keep rolling, your frustration only grows - maybe if you yanked your own hair really good or slapped the disgusting pudgy cheek you've despised ever since chidhood as everyone kept pointing out how big they were...
"Ye didnae just call the love of mah fucking life ugly." Johnny's voice is a mix of a harsh order to cut your bullshit and pure disbelief. His huge paws wrap themselves around your wrists, stopping you both from harming yourself and covering your face. You're forced to look at him, and as you do, you see his handsome face flushed with a passionate anger at the intrusive thoughts in your head, heavy frown in his thick eyebrows and the sea in his eyes dark and deep enough to drown a whole fleet. You'd be scared if it wasn't obvious how hurt he is underneath it all - like a kid whose favourite plushie just got mocked by his classmates.
"It's just a toy," adults would say, and they would be bloody wrong.
"Tis not a toy, tis mah friend."
You're his friend. His love. His heart, his soul, his everything - he whispers that frantically, kissing you over and over, hot palms running over your body, wiping the cold, the stickiness, the goosebumps away. You don't have time to think, to spiral again, you're drowning in that exact sea that's spilling from his eyes, staring at you with pure devotion - a sea of affection, admiration, love, love, love.
Johnny nuzzles up to you like an animal seeking comfort, hides into your chest, right after he kisses your sweaty double chin, breathes in deeply, lets go of your soft shoulders only to grab two handfuls of your tummy, kneading it, warming up the stale blood, squeezing your big thighs between his and getting lost in the frenzy - he honestly doesn't even remember already that he was comforting you, he's fully in the worshipping mode, leaving you no chance to dip even a single toe into the self-conscious thoughts again.
You'll just have to stay there, every single tear lapped up from your face, and accept every greedy touch and word of a man utterly in love with you. Even the messed up parts.
Gaz keeps his cool despite how distraught even the thought of your sadness makes him. First of all he moves aside to give you space, makes sure you're not hurt, asking in his usual kind - unbelievably kind, so much that you burst into tears again, feeling undeserving of such unapologetically soft treatement, tone.
"Shh, shush, gorgeous, you're not hurt, are you? It's okay, c'mere, jus-st like tha', very good, love," praises keep spilling from his tender lips as he carefully helps you sit up, simply dragging you away from the damp from sweat and everything else spot on the sheets. He ends up balancing half his bare ass off the edge of the bed, but it doesn't bother him in the slightest as he feels you already coming back from that hopeless place as soon as your body gets stuck between clean, dry and a bit cool sheet and Kyle's firm lean body of a litearal god - or a prince, at least.
His deft fingers are already at work, massaging your scalp, chasing the tension away, but the second he feels you grow uncomfortable with the repetitive movement, he stops and retreats to simply holding you in a steady, reliant embrace. You know he's good with his words, that's how he got you, swept off your feet completely and made you swoon with sweet compliments, hilarious snark and smart talk.
You just don't expect him to do it all over again in the face of your burdened mind crumbling in the paradise.
"Talk to me, angel. Let me inside that pretty head, hm?"
It takes this sweettalker just a couple of words to coax whatever that ugly, slimy knot in your throat is, out. You sob, retelling Kyle every single thought that has been stuck in that coagulated mess in your head, spill the bile that has been burning your retching throat, out in the open, for him to see the disgusting ugliness of your insides - matching your outside.
Somehow throughout your choking trade his soft, careful hand never leaves your back, rubbing circles of different radius and intensity into your skin to keep the aggression at monotonous touch at bay.
"Must've been some terrible person to overbear your spirit and plant all those lies in your mind, angel." You don't catch the meaning of his words at first, glancing at him confused and whoozy after you exploded with self-deprication. Those dark, calm eyes look at you no different than before: quiet, calm reverence and determination. A thread of spider's silk, thin as a hair, but stronger than steel, his love does not waver. Were you in the right state to actually pay attention, you would've seen it only grow.
"Well, beautiful, this isn't how I planned to start writing poetry, but since you insisted... maybe I can think of a diss track about you."
"A diss track?.." Poor you, so upset that you can't catch onto the mischievous glint in his eyes and that silly smooth sarcasm slipping into his words. You're actually half a step away from believing he would diss you, destroying that already non-existent self-esteem once and for all.
"Yup. Gotta diss-tract you from all that bullshit in your head for good. Unless you'd rather me fuck it out of you instead?"
You cannot not smile at that, even if it's a weak, timid smile. Kyle's face still lights up as if he sees an actual angel, bringing the good grace or whatever.
"There ya go. First step of the mission? Success. Permission to continue? I repeat, permission to continue?"
"You spend too much time with Simon. Permission granted..."
Price undrstands what's going on before he even hears your first sob, the tension in your body and the change in your breath telling him all he needs to know. There's enough experience in this man for the both of you, he has learnt to read people and immediately accomodate them in a way that serves a common goal so long ago that it's a secong nature already.
Your comfort is that common goal.
With a grunt, he rolls you over, planting you firmly on top of his warm, burly body. Untucking your head from his hairy chest, he holds your face and does not let you concentrate on anything but his stern, focued gaze under those bushy eyebrows - but there's still that undeniable tenderness in his eyes that's always there whenever John looks at you.
His voice sounds usual too: a calm, commanding, but not harsh tone, not a loud bark any of his subordinates would hear, yet still an order. "Look at me, darling. Tha's right, look at me, look at your John. You shut whatever's going through that troubled mind of yours out and let me take care of the rest, a'right? Can you do that for me, darling? I know you can. I'll do all the thinking for ya, eh?"
Giving control over to him feels natural at any other moment, but right now you're too deep in the trenches of the war with your own mind, hissing at you with pure disgust for being so selfish. Really, now? Had to use this sweet, caring man for your own needs, and now you're dumping all your perverted, fucked up baggage on him too?
"Nuh-huh, ya're still thinking. Told ya to cut if off. You know that's not you thinking right now, dontcha? You're a smart one, love, ya know shit like this happens. And when shit happens, who are you going to to deal with it, huh?" His deep voice rumbles in his chest, seeps into your clogged ears, fills your skull with the unyielding determination and leaves no room for your own dark thoughts.
When you hesitate to answer, John slides his rough palms over your back, tracing your soft rolls and landing onto the pudge of your hips, squeezing lightly to remind you who's in charge and what your task is. "Who is there for ya to deal with shit that happens, hm, darling? Need ya to tell me."
You want to hide, escape his demand for an answer, but he keeps you firmly in his embrace, a gaze of steel unmoving from you. It almost makes you tear up again, almost feels mean of him to put you on the spot, when all you want to do is curl up in a dark corner and stay there for all eternity. But the love you have for this man overpowers even the seething hatred you bear for yourself, so you give up and murmur meekly: "You..."
"Tha's right, darling, it's your John. I'm here to deal with everything that bothers ya. Everything, ya hear? Tha's me job. Your job is to stay wit' me 'n' not overthink, eh? Especially not when it's just hormons making ya feel bad." You have nothing else left to do, other than sniffle into his chest and melt under a warm kiss he plants on your crown. "How about a cuppa, eh, darling? And something just as sweet as ya for a bite. Ya'll feel better in no time, I promise."
Ghost and Soap cancel each other's panicking out. As soon as both you and Simon slip out of the sweet afterglow, falling backwards each into your own pit of self-doubt and spiraling, Johnny starts babbling, terrified at the thought of both his beloved people feeling worse after being with him. His slurred, panting words and frantic kisses help Simon shake of his own horror - in return, he squeezes Johnny's shoulder to slow the worried mutt down and redirect his energy into helping you. Soap tenses up under the firm touch of his Lieutenant, then relaxes again, leaning into him for a moment to collect himself - they charge from each other, mere seconds of feeding off each other's energies in the middle of a time-limited mission with the highest stakes: your well-being.
They exchange glances, no words needed after the way their work together almost makes them mindreaders to each other, and turn back to you as you lay there, face painfully contorted in an attempt to keep the black foamy bile you feel rising in your throat from spilling. Slow, sticky, angry tears run down your flabby cheeks, and with each millimetre they go, your scalding wish to gouge your eyes out with your bare hands grows, just to punish yourself for being ungrateful after two perfect men spent so much of their time making you feel good.
"Dinnae cry, bonnie. Ye're a'right, ye're 'ere, wit' us. Right, LT? We're nae gonnae let ye marinate in whitevur got ye so upset." The pressure from inside your body that threatened to burst you open into a messy explosion of bile and rot, gets evened out from outside by Johnny's tight hug. He squeezes you up to the painful point, cradling against his broad chest, holding the fort while Simon leaves the bed, but not without kissing both your palms and holding them against his lips until he feels the cold leave your fingertips.
"Oi, Johnny. Help lovie get in 'ere," he calls out several minutes later out of the bathroom. Soap, who has been holding you and allowing you to sob against his heart this whole time, stroking your sweaty hair and murmuring every word of love he knows, scoops you up immediately. He pads over with you in his arms to where a warm bath is already filled thanks to Simon, and when you react to the temperature with another wave of tears, they both reach out to the tap simultaneously.
"Is tha' a'right, bonnie?" You make a strangled noise as Johnny finally sets you down into much cooler now water. It soothes you, makes you feel instantly cleaner, smaller, lighter. Breathing gets easier, that swollen blob of anger and disgust shrinking down in your chest and allowing you to inhale bathroom's damp air normally. You open your mouth to apologize and get cut off before even a single syllable leaves your mouth.
"Don't," Simon's voice sounds gruff, but even his murky reflection in the rippling water looks genuinely soft towards you. They're both perched on the cold bath edge, naked and seemingly not caring about that at all. "Jus' let us take care of you, yeah, love? Tha's what we're here for. Tha's what we want to do."
"Well, actually, there's one more thing," Johnny interjects, causing you to finally lift your sullenly lowered head and look at him, Simon's big palm using this moment of distraction to press onto your back in silent support. "Can Ah make ye a foam beard? Please, bonnie? Ye jus' 'ave the prettiest sweetest cheeks fur tha'."
Soap and Gaz feel like their world is sinking into a whirlwind of stormy clouds, the kind that sucks all light out of sky in mere seconds and can't be cut through even by blinding flashes of lightnings. There is no sun in their skies if you're not smiling, and the sound of your muffled sniffles hits their eardrums harder than thunder or explosions. The frowns distorting their faces only make you more self-aware of the fact that you ruined things between you - the initial hysteria starts rapidly flowing into complete shutdown, threatening to turn you into an emotionless shell for unknown period of time, when several warm, big hands intervene and cut the depressing trajectory down at its root.
"Damn, we did a shit job fucking all your thoughts out, didn't we, angel?" Kyle's joke sounds soft, teasing, but empathetic, ready to be met with sobs or silence instead of the usual laughter that flashes your teeth at him and makes his own smile grow brighter.
"Aye, we did. If anythin', Ah think we put more thoughts intae 'ere instead," Johnny scratches his head dramatically, and then you feel his big, hot palm on you sweaty forehead, as if he's trying to get a feel of the thoughts inside your skull. It doesn't linger there for long, though, rough fidgety fingers digging into your hair and tugging at the roots. This makes the hot-and-cold collar around your nape unclench, uncouth and chaotic massage confidently pulling every ounce of anger out of your brain. From time to time his calloused palm slips lower, squeezing your scruff, wiping the cool sweat away and taking control over what seems to have escaped your own.
"How does it feel to be the first person to get knocked up mentally, love? Having any cravings yet? Feeling your brainworms kick yet?" Dry cotton comforter suddenly covers your exposed to be looked at with disdain body, and before you can choke out a protest and something about you being sweaty and sticky and disgusting, Kyle grips your shoulders firmly, rubbing up and down as he slowly helps you sit up a bit.
"Ye eejit, how dae ye think thay can kick? They're brainworms, thay dinnae hae any legs!" The sheer passion in Johnny's heated counterarguement does the impossible - makes the corners of your deeply upset mouth twitch against all the weight the sadness put on them. Your knights in shining (from all the sweat your lovemaking covered them with) armor of their own warm skin seem to not notice the slightest twitch of your lips - there's no excessive attention drawn to you, none of them puts you on the spot. Their touch isn't going anywhere, but it almost seems mindless, simply their need to have something soft and pleasant to squeeze in their restless hands. "'N' wasnae Mary th' first lassie tae get up th' duff through th' heid?"
"That wasn't mentally, that was spiritually, read your books, Soap," scoffs Kyle, as if it was the most obvious thing, and ducks just in time to avoid a pillow thrown at him with sniper's precision.
"Oi, ye sayin' Ah cannae read now?!" Whatever snarky retort Kyle was ready to shoot, gets wiped out as Johnny tackles him, barely avoiding pushing all three of you off the bed. Their scuffle consists of chokeholds and sneaky kisses, legs getting caught in the sheets and somehow tangling you into the mess too.
Until you laugh, finding yourself squished into Johnny's hairy chest with Kyle in a gently headlock somewhere under your arm.
"Hey, hey, careful, mate, our lovie's expecting, we can't just throw 'em around!" However obvious that deflection is, Johnny reacts as if you were actually with child and grabs your face, boring his eyes into yours, slowly widening his two blue lochs in pretend horror.
"Och naw! Ah think we lost 'em, Ah cannae see nothin' there now!" Flushed after the playfight, you avert your gaze, still a trace of self-consciousness about yout outburst somewhere deep inside, but none of the "brainworms" that clogged your insides in sight indeed. Johnny's little drama earns him a soft nip on his thumb from you, and he smiles at you, clearly satisfied with the effect their little scheme had.
"Aw, damn, and here I was, ready to hear the pitter-patter of 'em little feet," Kyle's warm lips somehow find their way to kiss your temple, eliciting another shy giggle.
A pillow crashes onto both of you with the force of a small bombshell.
"THAY DINNAE HAE FEET, GARRICK, THAY'RE WORMS!"
Price and Gaz fall into their usual ways seamlessly, responsibilities and tasks split between the two seemingly without even any verbal communication. Clearing out the space around you with the same quick efficiency they clear out enemies with, they prop you up on some pillows, assess your condition in case they got carried away and hurt you, and finally settle on both sides of you, warm hands on your knees squeezing softly.
"Are ya gonna talk to us now, lovie? Or will we have to use interrogation tactics to learn what made our love so upset?" John's voice bears no trace of threat, but it still makes you cower and try to take up even less space that your curled up body already has, which earns you a sigh from the Captain. "I see. Take over from here, Sergeant. I expect results once I return."
The matress sighs with relief a Price's weight leaves it, bare feet padding a few steps before he reaches his slippers and leaves the room. The pit that the sound of your bedroom's door closing opens in your chest is crushing your ribcage with the iron fist of vacum. You can't blame John for not willing to deal with your bullshit, but the hearbreak only reenforces the choking smog in your head that's rasping in a hundred different voices that the only thing you deserve is pure repulsion.
Kyle's soft thumb pads wipe the tears teetering on the arrows of your lashes, and in a smooth movement you find your face cupped and pulled close to his shoulder. His smooth skin sticks to your wet cheek and you find yourself crying like a little kid, the unbearable pain of the revolting dark knots inside somehow replaced with surprisingly more bearable grief over what you consider an ending reltionship. Perhaps John leaving our bed finally shattered your heart, letting the ungodly pressure out and allowing it to beat - and bleed - again.
"We'd really like if ya talked to us, angel. Don't think Captain can stand there bare-ass naked much longer, might catch rheumatism at this point, he's not getting younger, you know..."
"I hope you know I can hear you perfecrly clear, Garrick." You stop mid-sniffle, eyes snapping to the closed door. You can finally see the shadow of a man standing just outside, and the air slowly feels with some flavour you can't distinguish through all the snot yet, but seem to like a lot...
"Good, so your hearing's still intact, sir. You're in good shape," Kyle's cheeky remark must've broken John's famous patience and restraint, because the bedroom door finally opens, and you see him there. With a tray with a whole bunch of tea mugs and little plates of treats balanced in his hands.
"Still not talking? Well, we'll try another method then, lovie. Sandwich for your thoughts, eh?"
His cheeks are round with a kind smile, confusing your tortured mind even further - Kyle uses your stupor to fetch John's big, slightly scratchy bathrobe, successfully wrapping you into a cocoon of grounding stimulation all over your feverish skin. With a huff and a grumble about staying butt-naked a bit longer, John puts a pleasantly warm mug into your hands and looks at you, arms crossed and tucked into his armpits now that he got rid of the tray.
Expecting an answer.
"'M sorry..." seems appropriate right up to the moment when a little finger-sandwich gets shoved into your mouth. The bread is soft, nice, salty ham and crunchy cucumber filling your senses and cracking a bit fat line of light right in the middle of the dense cloud in your thoughts.
"Try again, love," Kyle gives a hint and wipes a crumb off your lips, licking it off his thumb. "We don't need an apology, we just want to know what's troubling ya. John, tell 'em."
"Already did," grumbles Price in response and clears his throat, sitting back down on the creaking bed. "Food's working though. Eat up, darling, get your energy. Then we'll talk properly, a'right?"
You chew slowly, still stiff in your own body, but regaining control gradually. Yes. Then you'll talk.
Ghost and Price exchange a single glance over your from, choking on the self-destructive rage, and John shakes his head so slightly that one can barely notice, but it's clear enough to stop Simon from tumbling down the traumatic spiral staircase of his own. Grounded by his Captain's presence, he shrugs his broad shoulders, shaking off the creeping up feeling of his own monsterous nature, and rolls onto his back, pulling you out of the miserable wet ball of wrinkled sheets and onto his firm lap, sideways, his big palms resting comfortably around your hips; he's not squeezing or digging his fingers into the fat like he usually does, but it's a secure hug you can't really escape.
Exposed held too far away from his chest you could hide on, you shrink, rising your shoulders protectively and trying to cover up your soft belly, spilling over your pelvis in a shapless manner - that's when John's arms come from behind, catching yours and instead of pulling away forcefully, simply repeating your own safety cocoon, hiding your body from your distorted sight and keeping you warm.
"You're not thinking straight right now, darling," every phrase he murmurs gently, calmly, convincingly into your ear is accompanied by a little kiss, beard tickling and burning your already irritated by tears skin. "So good for us, so kind. Can you spare some of that kindness for yourself?"
Even though it doesn't sound like a rhethorical question, Simon cups your cheek and shushes you tenderly, pressing his thumb to your lips, allowing John to continue with his little speech aimed to dispel the storm coagulated in your chest.
"'Cos if not, it's a'right, love. We know it's hard, and ya're doing good already. Ya 'ave us, eh? To love ya, to cherish ya. No need to overthink, jus' let us hold you, a'right?"
He finally pushes you onto Simon's chest, his big heart stuttering with worry as you seek shelter among his many scars that paint a horrifying picture once you put all the fragments together.
"How'd you do that, sir?" Simon's voice sounds vulnerable - so much that it strikes through all the layers of your egocentric self-hatred and shifts you almost immeditely into a completely different mindset; one where you throw your whole self into loving your scarred and battle-worn men in such abundance that it's ought to compensate for all the unfairness they've gone through.
There's no need for it now, you realize a little too late: Price is there, keeping Simon away from the darkness. They're fine. Better than ever. It's a distraction, a trick, a play to make your bleeding heart stop the internal self-destruction and turn to healing.
A sly little switch you're not sure they were planning to flip, but it worked.
"Hm?" As if emerging from the depths of his thoughts in response to Simon's question, John caresses your cheek as gently as his rough thumb can and then smiles, maybe catching onto the change in your mood or simply remembering all the times he pulled Ghost out of the same gloom and darkness. "Jus' taking care of me own, Simon. Tha's what a Captain does, no? Now, love, how about a shower? I reckon we can squeeze in all together and papmer you really good, what do ya say, eh?"
Ghost and Gaz manage to keep their cool. Kyle's confident and gentle presence serves to reassure any doubts Simon has about hurting you, he shoots a single glance at his sergeant and recieves support immediately. Two pair of hands cradle you with all the tenderness two soldiers are capable of, which is always enough to drown you in fully. It's a tight hug, a hot mess of limbs, too much skin on skin contact that makes your brain flare with undirected rage, but as seconds trickle by and you're still trapped between two firm bodies, you have no choice but to slip into the exhaustion phase of your outburst.
It's not pleasant, nor could you say you feel calm; if anything, you just petrify, a permanent frown on your face and blindly staring forward glass eyes. You're tired, you'd still rather be anywhere but inside your own body that still feels like a useless deformed bag that should be gutted and emptied to lighten up, inner layer of your skin scrubbed with a knife to peel off the suffocating thickness of fat trapping this heated rage inside...
Instead, you get a kiss.
It's Kyle, soft, full lips touching your wet with tears cheekbone, then again - your temple, your cheek, the overheated spot behind your ear. They're light, soft kisses, too gentle to be playful or arousing. Calming. They do not demand anything in return - he allows you to stay in your inner world where you feel secure, even pauses to kiss Simon the same way right in front of your eyes. A silent demonstrationg of the love and reverence these pecks carry, Simon's hooded eyes fluttering shut as if his own compartmentalized demons get exorcised by Garrick's touch.
"Wanna talk about it, angel?" Kyle's voice rumbles at a nice, grounding, smooth timbre, and your still-too-slow mind struggles to grasp how is it possible that he's talking and you're still getting kisses - until you recognize the uneven texture of Simon's scarred lips, trailing along your skin tenderly. "Whenever you're ready, love. But we would love to know what's going through your head right now."
It feels strange to say it out lound when you're held and caressed like this, but their kisses and solid embrace cleared your windpipe enough of the mental gunk for you to be able to speak.
"I hate myself... 'M disgusting, and-" A displeased grumbling kiss from Simon interrupts you, and even Kyle pushes his huge shoulder to reprimand his own Lieutenant for the interference. Kisses his temple immediately to make amends, though, and turns back to you, prompting you to continue.
"Wot? Don't like when someone talks shit 'bout mine," grumbles Simon like a dog that got flicked on the nose for growling at welcome guests.
"Let 'em talk, mate, it's good to get things off your chest." At least their little bickering coaxes a tiniest hint of smile out of you, and Simon, noticing it immediately, stares back at Kyle with such pride, as if he just did something great.
The thing is, in the way his arms squeeze you a tad bit tighter, pressing into his firm body, you can read that for him - your smile is the greatest achievement.
"Don't tell me you prefer his silent treatement, angel, I'm trying to be the attentive boyfriend here, and for what?" Your smile grows a little braver. A little brighter. You would've kept talking if you could remember what it was that hurt so fucking much in your chest.
"Shower. Then a cuppa. Then we have the talk." No one dares to argue with the Ghost and his gruff commands. You feel the sheet sticking to your skin as he lifts you up, Kyle already sneaking off to prepare towels and clean clothes for you three. He'll stay with you and help you wash the remaints of the mind attack off. Simon will make fresh tea.
You're going to be alright.
Price and Soap take quite an intense approach the second they notice your distress. You feel Johnny's weight disappear from you after the first strangled sob that escapes you, and if you could open your eyes glued shut by the hot, messy tears, you would see John practically dragging the poor Sergeant away by his scruff. It's easy to suspect that Johnny couldn't contain himself and went too hard, too rough on you - with no malice, but pure passion that's spilling from his big, hot heart every time he gets to be close to you.
But it's not Johnny's fault, neither is it John's. It's all you, a useless, pathetic thing, good for nothing and holding two gorgeous men to yourself like a greedy glutton hoarding delicious food.
"Ah'm sorry, bonnie- ow, Ah got it, Ah got it, Ah'm not touchin'!"
"Did we hurt ya, love? Was Johnny boy too rough wit' ya? Wha's wrong?"
You feel big warm hands gliding over your skin, quick assessment of your state in search of potential harm caused. This immediate care only makes you feel worse, every cold sweaty patch of your disgusting hide shivering and twitching under Captain's careful touch. You struggle against your own spiraling anger, fight it with what's left of your exhausted resilience - and lose, curling up with another burst of tears, shoving the loving hands away and dusting the lingering warmth off your body.
After all, you do not deserve to be treated with such kindness after the fit you just threw.
"No, no, no, it's not his fault, it's not Johnny's... it's me, it's my fault, it's all my fault, I ruin everything, I'm- I'm disgusting!"
The silence that follows you blowing up on them is heavy. Just as bad as the knot in your chest.
"Johnny."
When you open your eyes to find a way out, run away, scatter and hide in the furthest corner of the apartment until everyone who tried caring for you leaves again, you're met with Johnny's bright blue eyes, glistening with unshed tears.
It's a shocking sight, pushing you out of the muffled misery into an alerted worry - his face is red with unexplainable pained anger, fists clenched as John holds him tightly by hunched shouders, seemingly trying to prevent a violent outburst.
"Ah wanntae ken names of th' bastarts who made ye feelin' tis wa'. Ah swear Ah will mak' thaim fuckin' choke oan thair ain tongues, Ah'll rip thair spines oot 'n' shove thaim up thair-" - "Enough, Johnny. Stand down. This won't solve anythin'. Ya calm down and help our lovie feel better, a'right?"
Still a bit shells-hocked, you stir on the bedsheets and push yourself up to sit upright, stretching your arms hesitantly to the men in a weak attempt to remedy whatever shitstorm you caused in their minds.
"Don't get mad, please," you whisper sheepishly, and the shy sound of your still choked voice seems to wash Johnny's explosive anger away better than the firm grip of his handler's (Price's) hands. With a look of a beaten dog, Johnny huffs loudly, cuddlng up to you and hiding his face in your lap. His heavy jaw sinks in the plush of your thighs, accomodated nicely with the softness of your body.
"'M nae mad at ye, leannan. Jus' dinnae say tha' again, a'right, bonnie? If ye need me tae prove ye-"
"No..." your hand finds it place in his damp mohawk and brushes through, while you glance at John. His eyes are shimmering with love and love only as he looks at you and Johnny, and you feel a wave of shyness - the good, giddy, warm kind - replacing the paralyzing shame. "I'm fine already. With you."
"Maybe we should 'ave a little chat 'bout it, love," John's hand meets yours on the sad mutt's head in your lap, intertwinig fingers with you through Johnny's soft hair. "When ya feel better. Jus' so we know what we're dealing with, eh?"
"Yeah. A bit later. Thank you."
All four of your men get frozen witnessing your reaction, struck with a horrifying sense of helplessness - it feels like the biggest failure among many unsuccessful missions, operations where lives were lost and enemies missed, to have you curling up and crying in misery between all the love they've been pouring onto you just mere seconds ago. As if everything they touch is bound to go up in flames, drown in blood and rot, be it on the outside or from the inside.
They're lost, and as always, they turn to the Captain, giving themselves up for him to direct, trusting that he knows better what use they can be of.
And, frankly, he does.
They're barely talking, but the commotion around you is decipherable even through the red mind fog and closed eyes - it honestly only makes you feel worse, unsafe, exposed, despite that simply being Soap, sent off to fill a bath ("Ye want it hot or a tad bit cool, bonnie?" - Silence. Your nails dig into your scalp, the soud of someone simply breathing, even more so talking to you, sending you into a new fit of rage. "Make it warm, Johnny, we'll adjust later."), and Simon, leaving for tea duty - silently, your favourite way to have it attentively observed in the first two weeks you've been together and memorized ever since.
It's Kyle whose voice, murmuring into your ear sweet, reassuring nothings as he keeps you caged in a tight embrace, your back pressed against his warm chest, forces you out of the highly irritable state. You have no choice between his short, chaste kisses on the crown of your overloaded head, and John's calloused hands massaging your calves, soft flesh dipping under the firm pressure.
"Ya jus' focus on fighting tha' storm off, a'right, darling? We'll take care of th' rest. It happens, we know it does, 's not your fault. Jus' a funny lil' thing your mind does, eh? Yeah, love, we know wha' it's like when your mind does funny things. Don't we, Kyle?"
"That we do." Maybe it's just your own depressive state rubbing off on them or distorting your perception, but Kyle's voice sounds almost solemn. You would turn to look into the smoky quartz of his eyes, but either he holds you too tight, or you have barely any strength left in your upset body - you simply can't.
Maybe it's alright. Maybe tonight they don't need you ripping your heart out to tend to their restless minds, and you can just allow them to take care of you.
Allow Kyle to carry you to the bathroom.
Allow John to stay there and help you wash yourself with a nice, scrubby loofah.
Allow Johnny to bring in his huge, baggy loungewear that doesn't hug your curves too snugly and allows you to simply forget what you were so angry about for a while.
Allow Simon to serve you perfect temperature tea in your favourite mug and keep you quiet company on the balcony, night air cooling your wet and clean now skin and hair further and blowing all thoughts out of your troubled head away.
As you share a cigarette with rich clove aftertaste, breathing ironically becomes easier. Behind your back the bedsheets are being changed, proper meal is being cooked, a good movie you won't be upset falling asleep to is being chosen.
"Simon." - "Hm." - "You sure you're okay with me being like that?" - "Standin' in the wind with your hair wet, tryin' to catch a cold?"
You grunt, not appreciating him taking the piss while you're tryig to be vulnerable, but allow him to pull the hood of Johnny's hoodie onto your head.
"No. I mean, fucked up in the head?"
You don't actually know what answer you expect. With an unreadable expression, Simon turns his head, looking through the glass door at the men crowded in the living room and waiting for you, and then stares back at you with a smirk, a permanent scowl carved into it by someone's cruel hand.
"Nah. Tha's how I like 'em."
He throws the cigarette butt away and chuckles, cupping the back of your head and pulling you inside, into the warmth of home.
"Oi, bonnie! C'mere, As saved ye a spot." There is no spot as you look at the two-story cuddle pile on the sofa and the blanket nest in front of it, unless of course... ah, yes, Johnny's patting his lap. "Ah promise Ah'll behave. Mostly."
And as his warmth envelops you through a big hug, his hands clenched humbly on your belly and behaving indeed, you feel stupidly happy.
Because you're enjoying touch again.
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lilacxquartz · 3 days
Text
pregnancy woes;
toji fushiguro x pregnant!reader
summary: lil drabble post, i might do more pregnant reader x jjk in the future but i got a request for a milf reader x any, so here we go! requested by @lolitamermaid123 — i hope this was what you were looking for🩵
tags/themes: pregnant reader, very in love toji, praise, validation, suggestive undertones, massage — w.c: ~700
ao3 • masterlist • more drabbles
Nothing prepared you for how lovesick Toji would be when you were carrying his second child. The guy had always been sarcastic, maybe even arrogant, but never before had he been this obsessed with you. From the moment your stomach started showing visible signs of growth; he simply couldn’t keep his hands off of you.
Despite this, you didn’t quite feel the same. You didn’t deny that the miracle of life or what have you was a beautiful prospect, yes, but it was also exhausting on your body. You were not only constantly in a state of simmering fatigue, but you were once again feeling all sorts of puffy and achy with very little that could be done to alleviate the symptoms.
Yet, Toji didn’t quite see it that way. Or maybe he saw it differently. To him, you were the living embodiment of what could have been perfection in his eyes.
Every morning, without fail, he would roll over to his side and wrap his strong arms right around you and pull you in as close as he possibly could. He would bury his face right into the crook of your neck with his large hands palming over the swell of your stomach while acting surprisingly sweet—given who he was and what he did for a living.
“Good morning,” he murmured, his breath hot against the exposed area of your flesh. His voice was lower than usual and thick with sleep.
You mumbled something out in response, although it was barely coherent. You tried to shift away slightly because as it turned out, you didn’t quite feel as hot as you usually did and his touch would only feed your insecurities even further.
“Oh no you don’t,” he teased as he pulled you closer, not quite letting you get away. He could see right past you and you were being harsh on yourself—like usual—and for no good reason.
“Toji, please…” you sighed into a weary groan, appreciating his effort but feeling groggy from all of the exhaustion. “I feel so bloated and big… you wouldn’t get it…”
Toji however simply rolled his eyes. “There you go again, talking down on yourself like that. You have no idea how sexy you look to me right now and it hurts.”
You tried to stretch the remainder of the sleep away to little avail, leaning your head back against him as you finally gave into his hold. “Yeah, well it’s hard to feel sexy right now.”
He shrugged as he didn’t back down, digging his lips even further into your skin while planting lazy kisses along your neck and shoulder. His voice was laced with want and need the more he pressed himself right against you, unable to quite let you go, if at all, “You’re not seeing my vision then, huh? You don’t get it. You look so hot, so incredible like this…”
Finally, you managed to thaw into a slight smile as his words were finally starting to get to you. Even if you didn’t quite believe him fully, Toji had a knack for making you feel like you were the only thing that mattered in the entire world. His attention to you was dedicated and you were his only focus.
“Would be better if I wasn’t so achy though,” you slightly whined while attempting to straighten out your back.
He hummed at your statement, seemingly forming an idea in his mind. “How about a massage then? Give me an excuse to keep my hands on you.”
“That could be nice…” you admitted.
“Yeah,” Toji murmured, repositioning you gently so that you laid against his lap with your back in between his legs. You could tell that he was very excited to this, given what else you felt. “I’ll knock those knots clean out of you, babe. You won’t even know what tension is.”
“I’ll hold you to that one,” you replied, feeling already relieved from just how well his hands could work into your shoulders, kneading and squeezing in all of the right places.
In turn, he leaned down to press a kiss on top of your head as he slowly felt you come undone and relax in his company. “Trust me,” he added, “I'll do anything to help you feel good, you’re doing all the hard work after all in getting our next kid here. So leave it to me to take care of you.”
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xxchumanixx · 2 days
Note
Hiii! If its not much trouble could I request a tim Bradford and reader fic where she's really shy and sensitive, but still diligent at work and his rookie? He usually had a soft spot for her bcs he has a crush on her but she messes up a case and gets yell at by him?? Calls her a crybaby and all?? But later he comforts her and confesses? Maybe she thinks he likes lucy up until that point?? Just a lot of angst filled with pining and fluff! Thanks sm and I love your workk💕
Headrush
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Tim Bradford x fem!reader
Warnings/Tags: language! (Shut up, Steve), fluff, hurt, angst
Word count: 2.523
Authors note: Oh my god, it's been so long, I'm so sorry! Thank you a lot for your request! I really liked the idea and I hope you'll like how I wrote it.
Lots of love! ❤️
Please, as always
Enjoy!
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"Shit, shit, shit!" you cursed under your breath, biting your lip as your fingers anxiously fiddled with the belt on your hips.
This was not how this case was supposed to go.
Not at all.
It was like a damn domino effect - one thing went down the hill, and so did the rest one after another.
A whole fucking shitshow.
That your suspect was lying dead on the street was just the cherry on top.
He had tried to run from you, not watching where he went. You tried to warn him, yelled that he should watch out, when a car hit him, and sent him flying over the street.
Tim stood beside you, eyes wide and mouth agape, not really believing what he saw. He wasn't sure whether to yell at you, comfort you, or just get back in the car.
He gritted his teeth, hands balling into fists. He usually was softer with you, than he was with other rookies he had.
You just didn't know that he harbored feelings for you that went far beyond being your TO.
A conflicting thing, really.
"You-" he started, cutting himself off, eyes flying over the scene. The dead man on the floor, the shocked civilians all around you.
The poor woman that drove the car that hit the man.
The ambulance covered the man with a sheet, calling the coroner.
That was what snapped him.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tim spoke up, rasing his voice as he looked down at you. "What the hell did you think?" You flinched at his tone, some of your usual shyness and sensitivity shining through.
Tim bit his cheek, so hard he almost drew blood.
He felt bad, sorry even.
To yell at you was one of the things he wanted the least, but he had no other choice if he wanted you to be successful.
At least, that's what he told himself.
"Sir, I-" you wanted to defend yourself, but he didn't let you. Once he was in that stage of rage, it was hard to see an escape through the fog.
"No, of course you did not!" he went on, the look on his face both terrifying and breaking you.
To ever think you'd stand a chance with the man yelling down at you seemed like the stupidest thing in the world suddenly.
"How could you let him get this far?" he continued to rage, seemingly not caring about the people around you that started to watch the commotion. "You should have stopped him!"
You swallowed, a bitter pill you'd forced upon yourself by letting the suspect get this far. That you'd fallen pretty badly along the way, most likely spraining your ankle, wasn't important anymore.
Who knew if he'd even seen it?
"I- I'm sorry." you breathed out, doing your best not to lose your face in front of him. The day had started bad, and it got worse the longer it went on. "I shouldn't have let him get this far."
Tim scoffed, hands fisting his belt as he looked around you. "I shouldn't have let you handle this on your own." he spoke, voice a mix of regret and spite. "I should have known better."
His words hit you like a punch to the gut.
You knew you were ready, and damn he knew it, too. Mistakes were normal, no matter how long you were doing the job already. But with your last week as a rookie rolling around, he pushed you more and more beyond your limits.
You felt tears burn in your eyes, the ugly tugging sensation in your jaw when you tried your very best to hold them back.
But Tim had already seen them.
His head tilted in disbelief, eyes widening before they narrowed.
Not a good sign.
"Are you gonna cry?" he asked, voice full of disbelief. "Are you kidding me? What are you? A fucking crybaby?"
Told you so.
You cleared your throat, cheeks burning in shame.
"No, no, of course not." you mumbled, trying to steady your voice. Tim tilted his head more, sending you a look that told you to repeat yourself. "No, I'm not crying." you repeated louder, looking up at him.
To say his behavior hurt was an understatement.
"Get in the car." he hissed, motioning at the shop. You nodded, doing as he told you without protesting.
It wouldn't have done you any good, anyway.
Moral of the story suddenly played in your head, and you couldn't help but think how right Ashe was, as you climbed into the passengers seat.
You had learned a lot about Tim the last year, yet he surprised you with how cold and harsh he was right now.
You should have never let your stupid crush get out of hand like this. Maybe to be hurt like this, to be talked down by him like that - maybe that was your moral of the story.
Like they said: Never fuck the company.
Not that you and Tim had gotten physically close somehow, but that didn't stop your mind from imagining sometimes.
You just were glad you experienced him like this before anything could have happened.
Not that you had much faith in that, anyway.
____
You let out a sigh, as you finally made your way out of the station.
It had been a long day, maybe the longest of your life. After driving back you had to wait before being questioned about the incident. It went on for nearly two hours, in which they decided you weren't responsible for the suspects death.
Yes, he had run from you, but it was his own decision, and you had tried to warn him.
You body-cam proofed it.
You hadn't seen Tim since you'd gotten out of the shop, silently thankful for it.
You didn't know if you'd been able to endure another round of his scolding today without actually breaking down.
Seeing Lucy though, only pressed on your sore nerves more. Yes, you liked her as a friend, but the thought that Tim seemed head over heels for her warred with that.
Only a fool wouldn't see.
The cold night air hit your skin, effectively cooling it down and clearing your head a little. You hoped to get home and fall in bed, only waking up again when you would have forgotten this day.
But someone seemed to have other plans.
"Y/N, wait!" he called out after you, and you only then noticed that his car was still in the almost empty parking lot.
You debated whether to ignore him, act like you didn't hear, but your consciousness said otherwise. You turned around as he stopped in front of you, silently cursing yourself for being such a good person.
He seemed at a loss for words for a moment, lips parted, like he didn't expect you to actually wait. "Listen," he then started, brows furrowing slightly as his gaze drifted away for a brief second. "I didn't mean to be so harsh on you back there."
You frowned, blinking a few times in confusion. Was he a-
"I'm sorry."
You didn't know what to say, now at a loss for words yourself. "I- i'ts okay." you then said after finding your voice, biting your cheek. "You lectured me, and it's not like it wasn't justified, sir."
He gritted his teeth, you could see even in the dim streetlight.
"No, that was too harsh." he gave back, shaking his head, frown deepened. "It wasn't your fault he was hit by the car. You tried to warn him and he didn't listen."
You pushed your bottom lip forward, not sure where his sudden change in mood came from. "Look, sir-" you started, but he cut you off. "Stop that." he demanded, the frown on his face bordering on angry now.
Your lips parted in confusion, not sure what you did wrong now.
"Stop calling me sir." he said. "We both know that's needless. It's not like- I mean, you're one week away from becoming a p2. We both know you'll make it with flying colors. Call me Tim."
He was selfish, he knew it.
But if it meant he'd hear his name from your mouth even once, he'd do anything. He didn't know yet if you'd choose to stay after graduation, and he'd have to take what he got.
He was in way too deep.
You swallowed before you nodded, gaze meeting the ground. Your teeth maltreated your cheek, not sure how to react.
"I've never- I've never seen a dead person like this before." you suddenly spoke, looking back up at him. "I didn't know where my head was, and you yelled at me. I was overwhelmed."
It just bubbled out of you. Maybe the dim lighting made you bolder.
"That's not me." you continued, shaking your head. "I- I'm tidily, I always make sure to give my best, it just-" Without you noticing, tears formed in the corners of your eyes, and you gasped for air.
Tim's own eyes widened, as he realized you were about to panic.
He closed the distance, wrapping his arms around you.
It was pure instinct, every nerve in him telling him to hug you, to comfort you.
To not make him see you cry.
He couldn't.
"It's okay." he spoke softly, as your fingers fisted the material of his jacket. "It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for yelling at you."
You couldn't help the tears from flowing, not when he held you like this, doing his best to make you feel better.
"I should have known." you sobbed, pushing the shame for crying onto his jacket aside for now. "I wasn't ready."
He shooed you, one hand carding through your hair.
He knew if someone saw you two, this would have ended badly.
But he couldn't bring himself to care.
"You are ready." he gave back. "More than ready. I've seen you out there, you always have yourself under control. You're diligent, something that not every rookie is. You may be shy, and maybe a bit sensitive, but that's something good. You know how to talk to people, you understand them. And I know this wasn't your fault. You did your absolute best, and that's exactly what I told them back there."
You swallowed, cheeks heating up at his words.
You didn't expect him to be so open and soft with you.
"You- you really think that?" you asked, sniffing as the tears slowly subsided. He chuckled softly. "God, you have no clue." he mumbled, gaze flitting over the dark parking lot.
You frowned, not sure what he meant. But before you could have asked, he continued on his own.
"I'm not good at this emotional stuff." he said with a huff. "But you are. And I'm grateful for it, I really am, because I learned to get better at it, because of you. And I'm supposed to be the TO here, not you."
You chuckled, not having expected him to learn something from you whilst training you.
"You should talk to Lucy, then." you suggested, the thought jabbing at your heart. But if he wanted her, he'd be prepared for the emotional talk now, then.
Tim frowned, looking down at you with confusion. He gently pushed you away enough to look in your eyes.
"What do you mean?" he wanted to know, trying to make out what you were telling him. Your cheeks heated up, but you knew there was no turning back now.
Might as well reap what you've sown by digging into his personal life.
"I mean that you can tell her how you feel if you're better at emotional stuff now." you explained, doing your best to look encouraging. He scoffed a laugh, nose crinkling slightly. "Wait, you think I-" he started, but cut himself off with another laugh.
You frowned, suddenly feeling uncertain. "Yes, I mean-" you wanted to explain yourself, but he cut you off, hands on your arms as he leaned a bit down to look into your eyes. "No." he said firmly, a grin on his lips. "I'm not in love with Lucy."
The thought almost seemed absurd to him.
Why would he want Lucy when you were here, standing right in front of him?
Your frown deepened, thoughts running a million miles a minute. "Wait, you're not?" you asked, voice carrying a hint of disbelief and maybe relief. He laughed under his breath, shaking his head. "No." he confirmed. "I'm not."
Silence hung between you like a heavy fog, only broken by a huff leaving your lips. "Well, I'm not as good at reading people as I thought I am." you mumbled, biting your cheek.
He shrugged as if to say I noticed. "If you were you would have known I don't want Lucy." he said, empathizing her name.
You cocked a brow, looking up at him again. "What do you mean?"
He sent you a smile that sent your heart into a frenzy, and for a moment, you thought you'd have a headrush. "I mean," he began, eyes wandering over your face. "That I can't wait for you to be a p2."
You felt dumb.
"Tim-" you started, but cut yourself off, as realization suddenly hit you like a freight train. "Wait, what?"
He chuckled, a sound that seared its way into your brain the first time you'd heard it. "Yes." he confirmed. "I don't want Lucy, because I already want you, Y/N."
It felt like the night sky had decided to let all it's lucky stars rain down on you at once.
A mix of emotions rushed through you, and you felt like you'd actually have a headrush.
"What- How?" you stammered, words escaping your brain. "I- I mean, why me? Why not her?"
Tim cocked a brow at your words. He knew you'd say something like that, a clear sign of how well he knew you by now. "Because you're you." he said. "Because you care. You're smart, funny, cute. You are a good cop, and I couldn't ask for more in a person than you already are. I don't want Lucy, because I'm not interested in her the way that I'm interested in you."
You inhaled shakily, his words like a balm to your wounded heart.
"And if you'd let me, I'd like to take you out once you're officially a p2." he added with hope shining in his bright eyes.
A smile spread your lips at his words. "I'd love to go out with you, Tim." you gave back, causing his own smile to grow.
His eyes fell to the smile on your lips, and suddenly he cared even less about the open space of the parking lot.
"Can I kiss you?" he wanted to know, eyes finding their way back to yours.
Your smile widened, and you nodded. "You can."
It was delicate the way he pressed his lips to yours, like petals of a flower. One hand snaked its way into your hair, cupping the back of your head to pull you closer. Your own hands gripped his jacket, anchoring you.
It was all you could have wished for.
And suddenly, the headrush wasn't so unpleasant anymore.
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kiddiesmores · 2 days
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Wait hear me out... maybe chef schlatt is showing reader some kitchen stuff one night (I dunno they're making food after closing or something) and she burns herself pretty badly (not like hospital bad but like she's being flirty and accidentally leans on the hot grill, something stupid like that) and schlatt has to like bandage her up. I'm thinking like knuckle kisses after it's all better?
or alternatively...
Readers batting her eyes at schlatt and being her cuteself and he gets distracted and burns himself (swearing ensues) and she takes care of his burn.
I dunno do what you want 😘
this is so real, sorry for taking FOREVER to write about it.
🥥 Bugging Schlatt after closing is so fun because not only are you getting a free meal out of it but you can also flirt without the possibility of anyone walking by!
🥥 It all went down at sauté station, He was listening to you tell a little story about some asshole who stiffed you.
🥥 But you thought he wasn’t listening so you started pouting a bit.
“You hate me, you’re not listening!”
“I am! I’m trying not to burn your food right now!”
🥥 You press your cheek against his arm and he mutters, “Careful.”
🥥 To which you roll your eyes and held onto his side like “I am careful.”
🥥 Leaning up a little to peck at his cheek with free reign since nobody else is in the store.
🥥 And it makes him laugh a little as he moves the pan over to the burner that isn’t on, mumbling about you being a little minx before turning to face you fully and give you a real kiss on the lips.
🥥 And yall were into it!
🥥 So into it that maybe you stepped back against the stove.
🥥 And maybe!! While you were trying to keep up with his now hungry kisses, the hand that wasn’t wrapped behind the base of his neck needed a surface to hold onto.
🥥 And that surface happened to accidentally be the stove.
🥥 “YEOWCH!” you flinch, backing up from Schlatt as you blew on your scorched hand, sucking harshly against your teeth.
🥥 “Shit, are you okay? How bad is it? Cmere let me rinse it off.” He’s immediately putting cold water on your hands at the sink station behind him.
🥥 Tells you to stay put and keep rinsing while he gets burn ointment from the office first aid.
🥥 When he returns he sees you sniffle a bit, and a little pool of tears in your eyes that threatens to fall any second.
🥥 “Hey-hey, it’s okay,” he hushes while turning the sink off, “Come on this will make it actually feel better.”
🥥 Guides you to the expo line, sits you on the counter.
🥥 Tediously applying the burn cream to your hand and wrapping it while you shed a few silent tears.
🥥 He was very gentle, even kissing the now wrapped burn, talking about some, “It’ll heal faster.” which made you giggle a bit.
🥥 You mumble a small ‘thank you’
🥥 Looking down at the wrapped hand with a sigh, “Can’t believe this..”
🥥 “Happens to the best of us, got burned pretty badly couple years ago,” he rolls up his sleeve to show a gnarly scar a few inches shy of his wrist, making you wince.
🥥 He gives you the go ahead to reach out and feel it, snickering when you poked at it like “oooo.”
🥥 “Now we can be burned buddies.” you state, losing the plot and rubbing up his arm and gripping his bicep, making him scoff out a “Yeah”.
🥥 “Feelin better?” he asks softly, making you nod. “Mhm, stings a little but it’s not hurting too bad anymore.” you mumble.
🥥 He nods with a low grunt, inspecting his wrapping skills before gently holding onto the injured hand.
🥥 His eyes light up, “Y'know you can’t carry trays with a wound like this..” he starts.
🥥 Your head tilts, “But tomorrow my regulars come in and they always tip me $50!” you mope.
🥥 He rolls his eyes, “Listen to what I’m saying. I’m off tomorrow.”
🥥 You shrug, making him groan and throw back his head in annoyance that you’re not getting the hint.
🥥 “If I cut you from your shift I can stay with you and..yknow..take care of you” he nods.
“Ohhhhh, why didn’t you just say that!”
“Thought it was implied.”
🥥 He moves to peck at your jaw, making you giggle as his facial hair tickles you.
🥥 Pats your thigh to signal for you to hop down, “Go grab your bag, imma put your food away and we can go.”
🥥 Watching you from behind as you move to grab your tote bag from the little cubby and letting out a low whistle when you bend down.
“Go put my food away!” “Yes ma’am.”
🥥 Waits for you at the door after putting your food in a to-go bowl, holding an arm out for you to grab.
🥥 “How am I supposed to explain how I got this when people ask?” you whine, staring at your hand while he locks the doors.
🥥 Schlatt shrugs, “Say you were trying to be a flirt and ended up searing your skin instead.” “Okay.”
🥥 He laughs, turning and pulling you tight against his side and kissing the top of your head, laughing harder when you grumble for him to get away.
“Hey, don’t be upset, I told you imma take care of you didn’t I?”
🥥 You look up at him for a moment, his stare meeting yours, a wicked smile on his face that gave you butterflies.
🥥 “Oh doctor Schlatt, save me!” you tease, fawning over him as you weakly collapse into his arms with a hand over your head, making his face scrunch while he mumbles about you being dramatic. He lifts you up to carry you the rest of the way to the truck, smiling with a shake of his head when he hears you giggling.
“Thank you for taking care of me.” You mumble, batting your lashes up at him.
He smiles, “Anytime princess.”
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shitsndgiggs · 1 day
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Can you make a fic of kenan forgetting about his girlfriend birthday while he hangs out with his friends and one of the friends remind him that and he directly leaves and goes to reader?
Also I missed your fics sm 😭🤍
MAKING IT UP TO YOU - KENAN YILDIZ
Kenan forgetting your birthday
Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader
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The day had started like any other—Kenan left early for training, followed by plans to hang out with his friends.
I didn’t expect anything grand or flashy for my birthday, but a small text, a “Happy Birthday, babe,” would’ve been nice. Instead, I spent the morning checking my phone, only to be met with silence.
By afternoon, I’d resigned myself to the fact that Kenan had forgotten. A lump formed in my throat, but I brushed it aside, convincing myself not to let it get to me.
He’s busy, I told myself. Maybe he’d planned a surprise for later. But as the hours ticked by, any hopes of a surprise dwindled.
Meanwhile, Kenan was hanging out with his friends, completely oblivious to the date. They were sitting at a café, laughing and chatting, when one of his friends, casually asked, "Hey, aren’t you doing anything for Y/N’s birthday today?"
Kenan blinked, the words slowly sinking in like a punch to the gut. His face dropped, eyes wide with realization. “Her… birthday?” he muttered, panic instantly rising in his chest.
His friend raised an eyebrow, sipping his drink. “You didn’t forget, did you?”
Kenan shot up from his seat, the chair screeching against the floor. "Oh, shit. I completely forgot!" He grabbed his jacket, fumbling with his phone.
“How could I forget?” His voice was frantic now, tinged with guilt as he gathered his things in a hurry. “I gotta go—like, right now.”
He bolted out the door, his heart pounding. How had he managed to forget something so important? The guilt gnawed at him as he quickly dialed a florist, hoping to salvage what was left of the day. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy—he’d messed up, big time.
Back at the apartment, I sat on the couch, scrolling through my phone with a heavy heart. Messages from friends and family had poured in all day, wishing me a happy birthday.
But the one message I wanted more than anything? Still nothing. I sighed, tossing my phone aside and pulling a blanket around me.
Just then, the door flew open with a loud bang, and Kenan stumbled in, out of breath, holding a large bouquet of flowers that looked like they were grabbed in a rush. He was panting, his hair messy from running.
“Y/N!” he exclaimed, voice high-pitched with desperation.
I looked up from the couch, raising an eyebrow. “Kenan…”
“Babe, I—oh God, I’m so sorry. I messed up. I’m an idiot,” he blurted out, stumbling over his words as he rushed toward me, thrusting the flowers into my hands. “Happy birthday!”
I stared at him, trying to suppress the hurt. “You forgot,” I said softly, feeling the sting of those words as I said them aloud.
His face fell even more, if that was possible. “I know. I’m so sorry. I don’t even know how I could’ve been so stupid. I was with the guys and—" He stopped himself, taking a deep breath, and crouched down in front of me, his hands gently grabbing mine. “I don’t have any excuses. I should’ve remembered.”
I let out a small sigh, looking at the bouquet in my lap. “You didn’t even text me, Kenan. I waited all day.”
The guilt on his face deepened. “I know, and I’m the worst for it. I swear, I’ll spend the rest of the day making it up to you. The rest of the year, even,” he added, a desperate edge to his voice. “Just don’t be mad. Please.”
I couldn’t help it—his panicked, puppy-like expression broke through my walls just a little. But I wasn’t going to let him off that easily. “The rest of the year?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a long time.”
He nodded vigorously. “Yes! The rest of the year, and the next one too. I’ll start right now,” he said, grabbing his wallet from his pocket and handing me his card. “Here, take this. Go buy whatever you want.”
I blinked at him. “You’re bribing me now?”
He looked even more panicked, scrambling to explain. “No, no, it’s not like that! I just… I just want you to be happy. Please, tell me how to fix this.”
I looked at his face, the guilt and sincerity so clear in his eyes, and despite the frustration, I felt my heart soften. “You really feel bad, huh?”
“More than you know,” he said quietly, his eyes pleading. “I love you, and I’m so sorry I made you feel like I forgot. You mean everything to me.”
I sighed, setting the flowers aside and tugging him closer by his jacket. “Fine. But this doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.”
He grinned, relief flooding his face. “Fair enough.”
I smiled a little, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “You’re lucky you’re cute when you’re panicking.”
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his lap, burying his face in my neck. “You’re not allowed to leave me alone with the guys ever again. Apparently, I lose my brain.”
“Apparently,” I teased, running my fingers through his hair.
“Let me take you out, okay? Anywhere you want to go. I’ll give you the birthday you deserve,” he mumbled against my skin, his voice still tinged with guilt.
I pulled back slightly, looking into his eyes. “You better,” I said softly. “And for the record… I love you too.”
His face lit up with a relieved smile, and he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I swear, I’ll make this the best night ever.”
“Kenan,” I smirked, looking at the mess he had made in his rush to get here. “It better be, or I’m using that card to buy a lot of shoes.”
He laughed, shaking his head. “Deal.”
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starkeysprincess · 2 days
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I just know it doesn’t take long for stepbro!rafe to turn you into his perfect little slut, so much so that you start enjoying his punishments a little too much. One day after he finds you doing something naughty and he’s dragging you to his room and pushing you to your knees, you start blabbering, “Rafey wait-“ He pauses. “You got about five seconds to tell me what you want before I don’t let you have any control and I fuck your throat.” You gulp and mumble out “ ‘want spankies” another pause. “ ‘f you feel like you still deserve that after you’re done blowin’ me, I’m not complainin.’”
Once he’s shot his load down your throat and has you over his lap, you can’t help but giggle as he slips your panties down your legs. “The fuck you laughing for, huh?” That’s when you feel the first harsh smack to your ass, and not even near the top of your thighs where it feels good. “Owww. What are you doing?” “Thought this is what you wanted?” “No! Like you did last time.” You pout and that’s when he realizes you’re referring to the harsh little slaps he gives to your pussy, sending vibrations right to your clit and making you squirm just right. He smirks, “ohhh so that’s why you wanted extra punishment, looks like my baby sis is turning into a dirty girl. Well, since you like it so much, that wouldn’t be a very good punishment, would it, doll?” He sneers as his big palm comes down to land the next smack.
Ugh. 3am thoughts.🙄
it definitely wouldn’t take him long especially when he knows how much you look up to him cause he uses that to his advantage and all you wanna do is make him happy but he didn’t realize the possibility of how much you might like certain punishments until one day he finds you sprawled on your bed, fingers stuffed deep in your cunt and you don’t realize he walked in until he’s practically dragging you off the bed and into his room, harshly forcing you onto your knees
he’s already unbuttoning his pants to free his cock when you stop him, “you have five seconds to tell me what you want before I shove my cock down your throat and make you choke on it”
the next words that slip out of your mouth take him by surprise, “want you to spank me” you mumble. he can’t help but chuckle, squeezing your cheeks and pushing his thick dick into your mouth the tip hitting the back of your throat. “if you think you still deserve it after i use this pretty throat, im not gonna complain”
the second you swallow his thick load, he’s yanking you onto your feet, pulling you across his lap as he settles on the edge of his bed. you giggle when he pulls your panties down, letting them sit around your mid thigh before you yelp when his hand made contact with your ass, “the fuck is so funny, huh?”
he lands another harsh smack to your ass, “what are you doing? that hurts” you whine and rafe snorts, “this is what you wanted”. you turn your head to look over your shoulder at him, “no, wanted you to do it like you did last time” you pouted and that’s when he realized you were talking about the way he’d spank your cunt whenever his thick digits were pumping in and out of your cunt or when you wouldn’t stop squirming as his face is buried between your legs
“so that’s why you’ve been acting like a fuckin’ brat, huh? just wanted your pretty little pussy spanked. look at you, turning into nothing but a dirty little slut”
you squeak when his hand comes down on your plump ass again, “s’too bad you like it so much, just means i gotta find another way to punish you”
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