#my great grandma passed away and while i wasnt super close to her i still feel really off and also have to try and help my

[all-cursed]

just letting people know yet again that i am definitely alive

life is a disaster at the moment, but i'm alive lmao, i'm so sorry i just keep vanishing like this. i DO plan to come back, i want to come back, i'm gonna try and come back this november since i'm gonna be trying NaNoWriMo again (and if i can find a good october prompts list, gonna try to use that to write a short little something every day based on the prompt), so maybe i'll be able to figure it out

i'm sure i'll definitely have the time as after halloween, i am no longer employed - my second job is just at spirit halloween so that ends after the holiday, and my security job let us know yesterday that everyone in my section of the company is basically getting fired after halloween because they don't "need" us anymore. (because covid is over and there's no need for temperature scanners anymore don't you know, covid's over, we beat it, congrats yall)

but yeah, i'm alive, i'll hopefully have more time soon if not energy, and i miss all of you very much

here's a photo from pride last month and the only picture of myself i've actually liked for around three months

more in depth info on what's been going on lately in the tags but trigger warning for like, family death, illness, depression, etc.

[kkmania44]

life so far #yass

ok so basically im trying to make this blog very indetail, and for all of my SUPER fans out there who need to know most major events in my life, here you go. i was born in a hospital on april 7th, 11:43 am. the hospital was some holy hospital. during my mothers labor, my grandma had to hold her leg up, just a fun trivia fact. she was in labor for about 3 days and didnt eat or drink ANYTHING. she also had to have her water manually broken by a doctor. during this time, my father was recovering from a terrible accident, so the fact i wasnt a miscarriage is kinda cool. and also, fun fact, my mom got pregnant from the birth control giving her the needed hormones she needed TO get pregnant. (she has a condition or soemthing that makes pregnancy like really hard or something) and my aunt also has it. she also had a high risk pregnancy because she had high blood pressure. but thats all of the birth facts i have right now.

after i was born, we moved to spokane, washington. during that time, my parents lived near their families. while trying to move out, my aunt attacked my mom, fun fact. after living here until i was about 3, my mom and i moved to lynnwood, into a small apartment, and from there to the house in bothell washington i lived in until 2019. by the time i was in preschool, we basically settled in.

i dont remember much about preschool. my mom used to work late though, and there were train tracks we passed by in the dark on our way home. i remember one time, we were supposed to be napping. but i was looking at all of the colors of the rainbow while lying there. this is in hindsight probably why im GAy. one time i gave this girl a minor concussion from throwing a doll on her head, and i got in a lot of trouble.

kindergarten was the only year i wasnt in bagc (boys and girls club) and i remember my grandparents visiting often.

first grade - 4th grade, i was in bagc. it was actually an awful experience tbh. I WAS BASICALLY BULLIED!!!!! /sar. every summer we used to go on these field trips every day expect for one “club day” once a week.   i had a few friends, 3 girls. they would regularly though, chose to avoid me purposefully, and calling it a “friend break” which sucked ASS when it was every other day. im just summarizing this, because im too lazy, but yeah. 

tw for next part ig

in the 4th grade, i had a friend named audrey. i would regularly visit her house, and we would take the same bus (after bagc). during this time period, i had a friend named bella. however, bella stopped hanging out with her after being friends with me. i dont know WHAT or WHY she started to hate me, but she did. it got to the point where she would casually pass me notes explaining how she was gonna tw// violent idk, quote, “i’m going to kill you. i’m going to fucking choke you to death and leave you to die.” and would send them to me, for i think, three days straight. after that incident, i went to visit her home after school. she had a basement, we would mess around and play on her wii down there. i got up and went to the bathroom, she laughed at me for bringing my phone in there, usual, expect she sent me death threats hours prior! when i left she was holding this giant wooden stick, (i would say it was pretty wide. almost taller than her.) i think it was used to keep her sliding door down there shut. it started out like a sort of game as first? she just started trying to hit me with it. obviously, when she didnt stop after i told her to, it was kind of obvious “yeah maybe those death threats werent a joke!” WHICH IS FUNNY IN HINDSIGHT BECAUSE I COMPLETELY IGNORED HER INDETAIL DESCRIPTION OF HOW SHE WOULD MURDER ME??, but anyways. it got to the point where i was hiding under her bed. it gets a bit blurry from here though. i think she dragged me out or hit me a few times until i tried to get away. either way tho, she recorded videos of her just!! trying to kill me. so that was a goofy moment.

anyways, everything is kind of normal after that. so i think its time to touch on my cool awesome family cult!! yaaaay!!

basically, in short, my family is in a cult. literally. my great aunt beth (she has all of the money. my family is generally very poor, beth is the nurse and she has all the money). she would provide food and clothing for my mother and her sisters when she was little, and in response everyone had to literally follow her like a cult. its to the point where i am unable to see my cousins. shes running a conversion therapy, she kept my cousin in a mental hospital and is fighting for custody of her to be able to hold that over her head. obviously, i was only really a “part” of it when i was the age of 3 - now. it’s only really relevant now because i cant see ANY parts of my family except for the ones who have been kicked out.

compared to those 2 funny stories, my life is GENERALLY uneventful. but theses are the few major events that may come up in my blogs in the FUTURE, which means if i have any super fans (or just me wanting to keep my blog organized and having made sense to anyone if they read through the whole thing) then here it is.

recently, i moved from the home in bothell to a home in beacon hill seattle, and now have currently lived in this house in kent washington for about 1 month going on 2. i own 2 dogs, whiskers, and zoey (crusty white dog still love her tho). i literally just wrote a novel im so proud of myself.

not sure how to close this! but yasss!!!!!!