#my grandmother was catholic and while MY mum was raised Protestant catholic guilt is generational and I know it- Niamh writes it soooo well

[russilton]

can I ask what it was that Niamh said or did that made you like slagclaren? Very curious because I don’t find them that interesting!

Okay well let me say it is MOSTLY this fics fault, I can’t for the life of you tell you why I decided to read it when I’m usually so routinely gewis or bust-

But I did, and man, it’s just- I really do love a “it’s not gay if it’s a threesome but I keep staring at you bro-“ trope. I just do, it’s the REPRESSION and the flagrant bisexuality, and the way Niamh wrote it is RIGHT up my alley. Everything about it is good, Jenson’s sort of longing distracted focus on Lewis, Lewis being incredibly good at eating out (because come on, he would be), and the sort of ‘I’ll never act on this but I can let myself pine for it’ vibe layered over.

Niamh writes a fantastic Lewis, she really does, because she focuses so intently on his internal repression/homophobia, catholic guilt (Niamh is Irish she KNOWS proper catholic guilt) and layered trauma in everything he did prior to Valtteri.

Because I write about George I don’t usually get to read or write pre 2017 Lewis, but he was a very different person, and MCLAREN Lewis was an entire other breed- he was closed off, standoffish — and thanks to being the lone poc driver plus Fernando being GIANT cunt — he has trust issues a mile long and cloaking everything around him ESPECIALLY his teammates. I can eat that with a spoon and I even like writing hints of it when I can, because trust issues are brutal and long lasting and it’s WHY Lewis is so close with Val and George, but it was so HARD for him to do so.

Niamh’s Slagclaren embodies THAT Lewis. Untrusting, wary of love and affection, dealing in absolutes Lewis. Lewis who is young and would recoil if you told him something is gay bc that’s the environment he grew up in. The Lewis who I vaguely remember jenson saying he tried to befriend but he just couldn’t do it because Lewis was so focused and distant. Lewis who was all about the car, only the car, and didn’t need anything else (oh god he needs to friends). Her Slagclaren is also usually fuck buddies and not romantically requited, (which I wouldn’t enjoy if it was), BUT Jenson clearly pines for something more but will never mention it because he’s fairly sure if he told Lewis he loved him Lewis would headbutt him and be out the door before he could blink, and I LOVE that. I like reading ‘we are the right people at the wrong time and it doesn’t work’ sometimes - it’s good! Maybe with a later Lewis they would try and maybe it would work but that’s not who he is then- he’s a bit broken inside.

I wasn’t sure if it was a one off but then niamh sent me THIS fic and man, I am drinking that right up. Lewis not being able to grasp jenson wanting to blow him because he WANTS to and not as a trade off? Amazing.

So yes that’s why @milflewis ‘s Slagclaren is the sole exception to my Lewis ship monoculture