#my god tumblr's image compression HATES ME

[butchers-h00k]

Little guy i am very normal about

[slushynubs]

Room Secrets

Tw: Smut/Sexual content

(Hii this is my first tumblr post/writing I hope whoever reads this enjoys. I thought this man was toooo fine, and needed more stories, if there are any spelling mistakes I am sorry english is not my first language. I also appreciate feedback just please don't be mean!!)

Kwon Jae-Sun, ever since my team Miyagi do & I got to the Sekai Taikai he was a prick. He was Cobra Kai's captain so of course he'd be an ass. Any chance to try and start a fight he'd take it, any chance for a snarky remark he'd take it, he was an asshole, and to piss me off more he'd make flirtatious comments, and send me winks here and there, but I never took him seriously. I hated him, hated his team, hated how he fought, hated how he always had a stupid smirk on his face, hated his attractive accent, hated how his hair was cute, spiky, and perfectly framed his face. I hated his face, his really good looking face that was hard to look away from. I hated him, but it was hard to deny, and say that he wasn't hot cuz God was he hot.

After all teams had been announced they told us to gather at the aquarium for something like a "field trip" so we'd all get to know each other and make "friends". Did they think that would actually work when all we want is to rip each other's heads off? It was so boring, but eventually everyone could depart. I'm walking around, and hear a couple of cheers and laughs, as i'm about to walk in, the crowd dies down, and people start walking out. I decided to wait for my team to walk out since everyone was leaving, and lucky me to see Kwon walk out and walk up to me.

"Hey princess if you need place to sleep feel free to come knock on my door now that I have your friend's room" he said it with a dumb grin on his face. "What are you talking about?" you asked annoyed and confused written all over your face. "Ask your loser teammates who can't kick" he starts walking away but right before that, he leans into your ear, you feel his breath on your cheek sending a shiver down your body as he whispers "and i'm not joking about the room sweetheart" you could hear the dumb smirk in his voice. "In your dreams" you say with a snarl, "every night" he whispers again, with that he walks off with a wink and smug look on his face. You start to picture some questionable images with what Kwon said, but you know you shouldn't, and quickly stop yourself, you bite your cheek and start looking for your friends.

You walk up to your defeated looking team in a small huddle. Robby looking the most disappointed and Miguel having an "I told you so" face. "Hello?? what happened, and why is Kwon walking out with your room keys??" You glare at each of them searching for an answer. Demetri speaks up "Robby here gambled our room over a stupid kicking competition". "I'm sorry okay!" Robby exclaimed defeatedly. "Okay well whatever happened get over it no distractions, you can stay in the girls room, just don't be idiots next time, c'mon" I tried to be positive but hated that now i'd have to share a room with four extra people.

It was time to sleep now after the guys brought in their things, found a way to fit themselves on the floor, and had an argument that made me want to kick their heads off. I lay awake in bed, I couldn't sleep, thoughts and nerves racing through my mind. There was something else though, I was trying my hardest to ignore it, my hardest to shake it out of my mind. That spiky hair, those bold black eyes, him in that compression shirt that hugged his figure. "Stop it" I thought to my self, it wasn't right to think about him like that, he was on the rival team, he was in Cobra Kai.

I get up and walk to the restroom, my eyes sting a bit from the brightness, I put cold water on my face trying to ignore every thought. I know I won't be able to sleep, and suddenly I remember something from earlier. "If you need a place to sleep feel free to come knock on my door". "No I can't do that" I thought to myself. Plus he was joking, then you remembered his words "and i'm not joking about the room sweetheart". No there's no way, he couldn't actually be serious...right? I mean we hated each other.

I hated myself for what I was doing, I knew this was wrong, I wanted to punch myself for this, but I couldn't get myself to stop or turn around, or even think right about what the hell I was doing. Maybe I should just go back to my room, but I was too close and tired to go back now. I'm standing in front of his door, or what I hoped was his since he won both. I prayed that I wouldn't embarrass myself more if his teammate was in this one.

I lightly knocked on the door, after a few seconds I convinced myself that maybe he or whoever was behind the door was asleep. Plus my fear was telling me that I should just go back, as I'm about to turn I hear the door knob move. I almost shit myself as the door opens, and there I see him, black sweats, red shirt, wet hair, God looking hot as ever. Water was dripping from his neck into his shirt sticking to his chest, and the water dripping down his veiny buff arms were not helping my imagination either, he honestly looked lick-able.

"I'm so stupid why am I here"?? I mentally yelled at myself. "Hey princess my bad I was getting out of shower when you knocked". "It's okay I was about to go back, I figured you were asleep since it's late" I say with a light smile. He returns a really faint smile saying " No, I practiced with Kreese for a few extra hours that's why". "Oh okay, well I should go, you must be tired, and I'm sorry if I bothered I just-". He cuts me off and with a smirk says "I wasn't joking when I said you could come to the room you know?, so don't worry. I am not tired, I train hard everyday, harder than your team could ever imagine". I scoff and roll my eyes, God he is always a cocky asshole, "okay well if you weren't joking I do need a place to sleep, I can't seem to shake any thoughts and nerves away". "Why princess you can't stop thinking of me"?, I scoff "Yeah you wish, now can I come in before somebody sees us".

"Yes ma'am" he says with a light chuckle opening the door wide enough for me to walk in, God I hated him, but I can't deny that made me feel something. I'm walking in and surprisingly it was really neat, I feel his eyes burn holes into my back as I keep walking. He closes the door and I hear it lock, I start feeling nervous, it gets quiet, but not awkward. I walk to the bed on the right, I get on the side to the nightstand, and set my phone down. I turn to ask him a question, not realizing how close he was, our bodies basically pressing together. My breath hitches, we make eye contact and I instantly look away trying to remember what I was going to ask "Um s-so-" he leans in and I feel his breath on my face as he towers over me. "What's wrong are you nervous"? he smirks and whispers as if we're not the only ones in the room.

I try to keep my composure but it's so difficult when he's only a few inches away from my face. "N-no" God why'd I have to stutter, I mentally palm my face. I look up at him and he knows I'm nervous, I want to wipe that smirk off his dumb hot face, he starts talking "Okay well we should go to sleep" he starts to turn. I know I shouldn't, I know it's dumb, and we're rivals, but I couldn't help myself. We were here, alone, no one had to know so why not. I hated him, but I couldn't deny how attractive he was, and the things he made me feel.

Before he makes a full turn I grab the edge of his sweatpants and lightly pull him back, "wait". He looks at me with a blend of curiosity, and confusion on his face. "Is something wrong"? he asks. I slowly let go of his sweats "Um no I was just thinking that um, I don't know uh" I was trying to get the confidence to say it but it was too hard to think with him staring at me waiting for my answer. "Whatever you need to say, say it" he says with a hint of concern. "Why'd you invite me to come here? I mean we've both been nothing but rude and snarky to each other. We basically hate each other" I say it with concern, and speed trying to get it all out without getting nervous.

He chuckles, and gets even closer to me, he grabs my chin making me look up at him, "I do not hate you, not one bit, yeah I like to mess with you, because it is cute to see you get all mad at me". I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off "I invite you here because we can be alone, no senseis, no teams to bother us. Of course if you want to sleep then we will, and if you want something else we can do that too" that last sentence was laced with something else like he wanted me to pick the something else. I wanted it yes, but I was too afraid to say it, and yes we're alone, but part of me felt like I was betraying my team.

I ignored my thoughts, and quickly worked up a bit of courage "I want the something else" I whispered with not as much confidence as him, "okay, and what would that be"? he said it like a question, but I knew he knew. "Our senseis and teams would kill us you know"? I reminded him, but honestly I wasn't sure if I cared anymore. He moves his hand from my chin and cups my cheek "You think I care what they do? I've wanted you since I saw you walk in to the Sekai Taikai, I needed you since then". Hearing him say that made me snap, in that moment all my fear, and all thoughts about karate disappeared. "Kwon kiss me" I grip the collar of his shirt, and he grabs my hips with his other hands. Our lips clash, the kissing is slow at first, gentle, his lips are soft and I don't want to ever stop . Slowly we start to speed up, breathing is getting harder but neither of us wants to stop first. We pull apart for a second, our foreheads against each other's, we start to catch our breaths he looks at me and whispers "are you sure you want to do this?" "I'm sure".

With that we press our lips back together, he picks me up my legs wrap around his torso, I grab the back of his hair and tug a bit. He moans and slips his tongue in my mouth, he's holding both my legs with his arms and moves us to his bed. I'm now straddling him still playing with his hair, he moves his hands to the end of my shirt and slowly pulls it off of me. I move a bit back admiring him as he pulls off his red shirt. His biceps flexing as he pulls his shirt fully off of his head. I can feel him hard underneath his sweats, and I start to grind on him, I hear him groan as he starts unclipping my bra and helps me take it off. He flips us over and cups my cheek, he looks at me with a sweet, and hungry look in his eyes "you're so beautiful" he whispers to me and gives me a peck on the lips, he starts to kiss on my neck sending shivers down my body.

I had no idea what to say, he looked so good, and I wanted him to destroy me "thank you" he then stops and says "if you ever want to stop say it okay?" "okay I will". He starts to lick and kiss down my stomach, while making eye contact with me. I look away getting nervous. "Look at me, if you don't look I stop" his accent, the way he was looking at me God I could feel myself getting wetter. He licked right above where my underwear starts, Kwon grabs my legs opening them wider, and licks my pussy through my underwear. He chuckles "You're so wet I can taste it through your underwear", he comes back up and starts kissing me aggressively, I taste myself on his tongue. I feel him grind on me through my underwear, I want to feel more of him so I start tugging on his sweats signaling him to take them off. He starts kicking them off, and I return to running and tugging my fingers in his hair, I pull him closer, I feel his dick through his boxers, and it's lightly grinding on my throbbing clit through my underwear. "Fuck" is all I'm able to muster taking a quick second to breathe before he pushes his lips back onto mine. One of his hands plays with my nipple pinching and rolling it in a fast motion, while the other starts to pull my underwear down, I pick my hips up so he's able to fully slip them off.

We pull away to catch our breath, "P-please Kwon" I'm basically begging him he knew what I wanted, but he wasn't going to give it to me so soon. He's still rolling my hard nipple getting me wetter, I'm probably leaking on his bed, he starts sucking on my right boob and licking my nipple while looking into my eyes. All of a sudden I feel Kwon open my legs and he starts going down again, but not before he sucked on my left nipple, and rubbed on the other, it felt so good I picked my hips up grinding on him, "You are so cute, so needy". He pushed my hips down and started to kiss around my pussy sucking on my thighs, and then sucking on my pussy lips. "Mmm" I start to whine, "Kwon I need more please", "You'll get what you want princess be patient" I can feel him smirk into my pussy.

I'm about to whine again when I suddenly feel his tongue inside me. I gasp "oh my god Kwon", he starts to move his tongue in and out, "d-deeper please" I whine, and he does just that, I start to grind on his face while he's tongue fucking me. He starts hitting my g-spot and I can feel my legs start to tremble. Kwon pulls out his tongue and moves up to my clit he slowly starts to lick, and suck on it. I hear and feel him moan into my pussy, it sends a vibration through my body, he goes back to sucking on my clit, slowly teasing me when he knew what I wanted. "Look at me and tell me what you want", he then gets his two fingers and starts circling my pussy hole, I can feel his fingers playing with my wetness. "I-I want m-more, I want you to make me cum". His eyes turn dark and he smiles with a look of confidence, "Yes ma'am" he starts to slowly stick his two fingers in my hole, stretching me, it felt so good, I could feel my legs starting to shake again.

With his other hand he grips my thigh and widens it more "look at this pussy taking my fingers so well" he chuckles and starts to go faster curling his fingers, he then moves down bringing his tongue to my clit circling it. I feel him start to slowly suck on my clit while his fingers continue to abuse my hole, he's making eye contact with me as he continues to suck. I start to grind on his face, he starts to suck faster, my legs, are now on top of his shoulders, my legs start shaking, and a knot starts forming in my stomach. I can feel him smirk while he sucks, and I can't help but squeeze his head with my thighs. That doesn't make him stop as he starts to finger me harder, he's groaning into my pussy, the knot in my stomach only growing stronger.

I open my legs again, Kwon pulls his face away from my clit, switching his gaze between my eyes and my pussy. I'm grinding on his fingers as he starts going even faster, my pussy clenches on his fingers, and he knows that I'm close. My back starts arching, I can't control my body anymore, I'm shaking, I can barely form a sentence let alone a word. "K-kwon I'm so c-close oh my god" I feel so out of breath, and my voice is shaky I can't control myself. Kwon gets his other hand and grips my neck, the knot in my stomach almost snaps. "I know you are close, c'mon princess don't be shy". He curls his fingers adding a third, and going even faster, I moan so loud I pray these walls are sound proof. "HOLY SHIT" my whole body starts shaking and Kwon is still gripping my neck forcing me to keep my eyes on his, he shows no signs of stopping.

I feel the knot in my stomach snap, it all feels so good, I start seeing stars, my legs are shaking, I try my hardest to calm down, but it's all so much and Kwon is still going. "I'm not stopping till you let it all out" he pulls me in and starts kissing me. I try to kiss back but he's winning and I can barely move my lips, the kiss is sloppy and heated. He hasn't stopped his fingers, and I keep moaning, I feel another release as he lets go of my neck and starts rubbing circles on my clit. I feel myself finishing again but this time it's messier as I'm squirting and all my juices are landing all over his stomach, all on his arm. Part of me was embarrassed and wanted to stop but it felt too good, and I could tell Kwon was really enjoying this. I feel the shaking start to slow down, my breathing slowly going back to normal. Kwon starts to pull his fingers out, and gives me a light kiss, he then gives me a small smile and asks "are you okay?". I slowly catch my breath and return a smile "I've never been better", he gets up and goes to the bathroom getting a towel so we could both get cleaned up.

When he returns we start to clean, and I put my pjs back on with his help, as I'm about to walk to the other bed he stops me by picking me up. He carries me to the other bed even tho it was only like 3 feet away. I simply laugh as he sets me down, and hands me a bottle of water, "It is a good thing I beat your friends and got the extra room so we could have this bed to sleep in". I laugh and roll my eyes "I guess it was", we both start to get cozy and settle under the covers, I use his arm as my pillow. Before going to sleep and turning the lights off we talk for a bit, both our voices start to get low, and we could feel the sleepiness taking over. "If our teams ever find out we're dead" I told him followed by a yawn. "I know, but I do not care" said with a hint of seriousness and playful tone. Before deciding it's time to sleep you look at him and say "goodnight Kwon, and good luck tomorrow cuz I'm kicking your ass, you better not go easy on me" you give him a light smile as you start to settle and close your eyes.

As you feel yourself fading into your sleep you hear Kwon give a light chuckle and reply "Goodnight princess, you too" he gives you a small kiss on the forehead, and with that turns the light off.

[kmclaude]

Forgive me Father, I have no awful headcanons for you, only a general question on comic making. How do you do it, writing-wise/how do you decide what points go where, how do you plot it out (or do you have any resources on the writing aspect that you find useful?) Not to get too bogged down in details, but I attended a writer’s workshop and the author in residence suggested I transfer my wordy sci-fi WIP into graphic novel script, as it might work better. (I do draw, but I don’t know if I have it in me to draw a whole comic—characters in motion? Doing things? With backgrounds? How dare, why can’t everyone just stand around looking pretty)

I was interested but it quickly turned into a lot of internal screaming as I tried to figure out how to compress the hell out of it, since novels are free to do a lot more internal monologuing and such compared to a comic format (to say nothing of trying to write a script without seeing how the panels lay out—just for my own sake, I might have to do both concurrently.)

As an aside, to get a feel for graphic novels I was rereading 99RM and was reminded of how great it was—tightly plotted, intriguing, and anything to do with Ashmedai was just beautifully drawn. I need more Monsignor Tiefer and something something there are parallels between Jehan and Daniel in my head and I don’t know if they make sense but it works for me. (As an aside, I liked the emphasis on atonement being more than just the word sorry, but acknowledgment you did wrong and an attempt to remedy it—I don’t know why that spoke to me the way that it did.)

I thought Tumblr had a word count limit for asks but so far it has offered zero resistance, oh well. I don’t have much else to say but on the topic of 99RM, Adam getting under Monsignor’s skin is amazing, 10/10 (about the Pride picture earlier)

wow tumblr got rid of the markdown editor! or at least in asks which means the new editor probably has no markdown....god i hate this site! anyway...

Totally! So first, giant thank you for the compliments! Second, I have a few questions in turn for you before I dive into a sort of answer, since I can give some advice to your questions in general but it also sounds like you have a specific conundrum on your hands.

My questions to your specific situation are:

did the author give any reason for recommending a, in your words, "wordy" story be turned into a graphic novel?

is the story you're writing more, like you said, "internal monologuing"? action packed? where do the visuals come from?

do you WANT it to be a comic? furthermore, do you want it to be a comic you then must turn around and draw? or would you be interested in writing for comics as a comic writer to have your words turned into art?

With those questions in mind, let me jump into the questions you posed me!

Let me start with a confession...

I've said this before but let me say it again: Ninety-Nine Righteous Men was not originally a comic — it was a feature-length screenplay! And furthermore, it was written for a class so it got workshopped again and again to tighten the plot by a classroom of other nerds — so as kind as your compliments are, I'm giving credit where credit is due as that was not just a solo ship sailing on the sea. On top of that, it got adapted (by me) into a comic for my thesis, so my advisor also helped me make it translate or "read" well given I was director, actor, set designer, writer, editor, SFX guy, etc. all in one. And it was a huge help to have someone say "there is no way you can go blow by blow from script to comic: you need to make edits!" For instance, two scenes got compressed to simple dialogue overlaid on the splashpage of Ashmedai raping Caleb (with an insert panel of Adam and Daniel talking the next day.) What had been probably at least 5 pages became 1.

Additionally, I don't consider myself a strong plotter. That said, I found learning to write for film made the plotting process finally make some damn sense since the old plot diagram we all got taught in grammar school English never made sense as a reader and definitely made 0 sense as a writer — for me, for some reason, the breakdown of 25-50-25 (approx. 25 pages for act 1, 50 for act 2 split into 2 parts of 25 each, 25 pages for act 3) and the breaking down of the beats (the act turning points, the mid points, the low point) helped give me a structure that just "draw a mountain, rising action, climax is there, figure it out" never did. Maybe the plot diagram is visually too linear when stories have ebb and flow? I don't know. But it never clicked until screenwriting. So that's where I am coming from. YMMV.

I should also state that there's Official Ways To Write Comic Scripts to Be Drawn By An Artist (Especially If You Work For A Real Publisher As a Writer) and there's What Works For You/Your Team. I don't give a rat's ass about the former (and as an artist, I kind of hate panel by panel breakdowns like you see there) so I'm pretty much entirely writing on the latter here. I don't give a good god damn about official ways of doing anything: what works for you to get it done is what matters.

What Goes Where?

Like I said, 99RM was a screenplay so it follows, beat-wise, the 3-act screenplay structure (hell, it's probably more accurate to say it follows the act 1/act 2A/act 2B/act 3 structure.) So there was the story idea or concept that then got applied to those story beats associated with the structure, and from there came the Scene-by-scene Breakdown (or Expanded Scene Breakdown) which basically is an outline of beats broken down into individual scenes in short prose form so you get an overview of what happens, can see pacing, etc. In the resources at the end I put some links that give information on the whole story beat thing.

(As an aside: for all my short comics, I don't bother with all that, frankly. I usually have an image or a concept or a bit of writing — usually dialogue or monologue, sometimes a concrete scene — that I pick at and pick at in a little sketchbook, going back and forth between writing and thumbnail sketches of the page. Or I just go by the seat of my pants and bullshit my way through. Either or. Those in many ways are a bit more like poems, in my mind: they are images, they are snapshots, they are feelings that I'm capturing in a few panels. Think doing mental math rather than writing out geometric proofs, yanno?)

Personally, I tend to lean on dialogue as it comes easier for me (it's probably why I'm so drawn to screenwriting!) so for me, if I were to do another longform GN, I'd probably take my general "uhhhhhh I have an idea and some beats maybe so I guess this should happen this way?" outline and start breaking it down scene by scene (I tend to write down scenes or scene sketches in that "uhhhh?" outline anyway LOL) and then figure out basic dialogue and action beats — in short, I'd kind of do the work of writing a screenplay without necessarily going full screenplay format (though I did find the format gave me an idea of timing/pacing, as 1 page of formatted script is about equal to 1 minute of screentime, and gave me room to sketch thumbnails or make edits on the large margins!) If you're not a monologue/soliloque/dialogue/speech person and more an image and description person, you may lean more into visuals and scenes that cut to each other.

Either way this of course introduces the elephant in the panel: art! How do you choose what to draw?

The answer is, well, it depends! The freedom of comics is if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. You have the freedoms (and audio limitations) of a truly silent film with none of the physical limitations. Your words can move in real time with the images or they can be a narrative related to the scene or they could be nonsequitors entirely! The better question is how do you think? Do you need all the words and action written first before you break down the visuals? Do you need a panel by panel breakdown to be happy, or can you freewheel and translate from word and general outlines to thumbnails? What suits you? I really cannot answer this because I think when it comes to what goes where with regard to art, it's a bit of "how do you process visuals" and also a bit of "who's drawing this?" — effectively, who is the interpreter for the exact thing you are writing? Is it you or someone else? If it's you, would you benefit from a barebones script alongside thumbnailed paneling? Would you be served by a barebones script, then thumbnails, then a new script that includes panel and page breakdowns? What frees you up to do what you need to do to tell your story?

If I'm being honest, I don't necessarily worry about panels or what something will look like necessarily until I'm done writing. I may have an image that I clearly state needs to happen. I may even have a sequence of panels that I want to see and I do indeed sketch that out and make note of it in my script. But exactly how things will be laid out, paneled, situated? That could change up until I've sketched my final pencils in CSP (but I am writer and artist so admittedly I get that luxury.)

How do I compress from novel to comic?

Honest answer? You don't. Not really. You adapt from one to another. It's more a translation. Something that would take forever to write may take 1 page in a comic or may take a whole issue.

I'm going to pick on Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo spent a whole-ass book in Notre-Dame de Paris talking about a bird's eye view of Paris and other medieval architecture boring stuff, with I guess some foreshadowing with Montfaucon. Who cares. Not me. I like story. Anyway. When we translate that book to a movie any of the billion times someone's done that, we don't spend a billion years talking at length about medieval Paris. There's no great monologuing about the gibbet or whatever: you get to have some establishing shots, maybe a musical number, and then you move tf on. Because it's a movie, right? Your visuals are right there. We can see medieval Paris. We can see the cathedral. We can see the gibbet. We don't need a whole book: it's visually right there. Same with a comic: you may need many paragraphs to describe, say, a space station off of Sirius and one panel to show it.

On the flip side, you may take one line, maybe two, to say a character keyed in the special code to activate the holodeck; depending on the visual pacing, that could be a whole page of panels (are we trying to stretch time? slow it down? what are we emphasizing?) A character gives a sigh of relief — one line of text, yeah? That could be a frozen panel while a conversation continues on or that could be two (or more!) panels, similar to the direction [a beat] in screenwriting.

Sorry there's not a super easy answer there to the question of compression: it's a lot more of a tug, a push-pull, that depends on what you're conveying.

So Do I Have It In Me to Write & Draw a GN?

The only way you'll know is by doing. Scary, right? The thing is, you don't necessarily need to be an animation king or God's gift to background artists to draw a comic.

Hell, I hate backgrounds. I still remember sitting across from my friend who said "Claude you really need to draw an establishing exterior of the church at some point" and me being like "why do you hate me specifically" because drawing architecture? Again? I already drew the interior of the church altar ONCE, that should be enough, right? But I did draw an exterior of the church. Sorta. More like the top steeple. Enough to suggest what I needed to suggest to give the audience a better sense of place without me absolutely losing my gourd trying to render something out of my wheelhouse at the time.

And that's kinda the ticket, I think. Not everyone's a master draftsman. Not everyone has all the skills in every area. And regardless, from page one to page one hundred, your skills will improve. That's all part of it — and in the meantime, you should lean into your strengths and cheat where you can.

Do you need to lovingly render a background every single panel? Christ no! Does every little detail need to be drawn out? Sure if you want your hand to fall off. Cheat! Use Sketchup to build models! Use Blender to sculpt forms to paint over! Use CSP Assets for prebuilt models and brushes if you use CSP! Take photographs and manip them! Cheat! Do what you need to do to convey what you need to convey!

For instance, a tip/axiom/"rule" I've seen is one establishing shot per scene minimum and a corollary to that has been include a background once per page minimum as grounding (no we cannot all have eternal floating heads and characters in the void. Unless your comic is set in the void. In which case, you do you.) People ain't out here drawing hyper detailed backgrounds per each tiny panel. The people who DO do that are insane. Or stupid. Or both. Or have no deadline? Either way, someone's gonna have a repetitive stress injury... Save yourself the pain and the headache. Take shortcuts. Save your punches for the big K.O. moments.

Start small. Make an 8-page zine. Tell a beginning, a middle, an end in comic form. Bring a scene to life in a few pages. See what you're comfortable drawing and where you struggle. See where you can lean heavily into your comfort zones. Learn how to lean out of your comfort zone. Learn when it's worth it to do the latter.

Or start large. Technically my first finished comic (that wasn't "a dumb pencil thing I drew in elementary school" or "that 13 volume manga I outlined and only penciled, what, 7 pages of in sixth grade" or "random one page things I draw about my characters on throw up on the interwebz") was 99RM so what do I know. I'm just some guy on the internet.

(That's not self-deprecating, I literally am some guy on the internet talking about my path. A lot of this is gonna come down to you and what vibes with you.)

Resources on writing

Some of these are things that help me and some are things that I crowd-sourced from others. Some of these are going to be screenwriting based, some will be comic based.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud: I think everyone recommends this but I think it is a useful book if you're like "ahh!!! christ!! where do I start!!!???" It very much breaks down the elements of comics and the world they exist in and the principles involved, with the caveat that there are no rules! In fact, I need to re-read it.

Comic Book Design: I picked this up at B&N on a whim and in terms of just getting a bird's eye view of varied ways to tackle layout and paneling? It's such a great resource and reference! I personally recommend it as a way to really get a feel for what can be done.

the screenwriter's bible: this is a book that was used in my class. we also used another book that's escaping me but to be honest, I never read anything in school and that's why I'm so stupid. anyway, I'd say check it out if you want, especially if you start googling screenwriting stuff and it's like 20 billion pieces of advice that make 0 sense -- get the core advice from one place and then go from there.

Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: many people I know recommended this. I think I have it? It may be in storage. So frankly, I'd already read a bunch of books on comics before grabbing this that it kind of felt like a rehash. Which isn't shade on the authors — I personally was just a sort of "girl, I don't need comics 101!!!"

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate: this has been recommended so many times to me. I cannot personally speak on it but I can say I do trust those who rec'd it to me so I am passing it along

the story circle: this is pretty much the hero's journey. a useful way to think of journeys! a homie pretty much swears by it

a primer on beats: quick google search got me this that outlines storybeats

save the cat!: what the above refers to, this gives a more genre-specific breakdown. also wants to sell you on the software but you don't need that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to touch base with more info about your specific situation and hopefully I'll have more applicable answers.

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[mrnibblesleviathan]

Entry 5.1: Silhouette

We’re not posting links at the start of these anymore because tumblr staff is a bunch of assholes. Fic hyperlinks can be found at the main blog page. Sorry.

Ryley was surprised to find Bart standing in front of the window from the workstation as they came back from their daily gathering of building materials. He seemed almost fine today. Didn't look like he'd fall at any second.

He greeted Ryley at the moonpool with an excited voice. "Hey, pal! What did you get for me today?"

"Copper, Titanium, Silver. How you feeling?" Ryley asked, signing. They were progressing, little by little. That was a sentence that was useful enough for them to remember most times.

"I'm feeling as great as someone who's got space plague can be." He answered with a smile, watching Ryley climb out of the pool. "I only blacked out once today.” He waved at them when Ryley crossed their arms in disapproval.  “Hey, don't worry, I'm better now. I just wanted to see how the cuddlefish was doing. I climbed the ladder to the aquarium. Maybe I shouldn't have done that." Bart apologized, turning his head away.

Ryley noticed a certain frustration in that gesture. They looked at him, trying to remember the sign for the wrong in “what’s wrong”. Unable to remember, they resolved for "what's up" instead. Bart seemed to get it.

"Sometimes... I feel like I'll never get better." He confessed. "I should have accepted this already. I've been living with this disability for years now, but..." He shook his head, sighing. "Trying to do anything usually means pushing myself." He told them, more for his own sake than theirs. "Trying to study means giving myself a headache, trying to climb a ladder means passing out. Even just doing nothing is uncomfortable. I can't remember a time where being awake didn't hurt."

Ryley sighed, letting that sink in. It was still hard for them, to listen to Bart talk about his pain. Of course, being in pain was even worse for Bart, and they understood that, but it made them feel so useless. They could fabricate him some medication, do their best to give him comfort, but in the end, specially after seeing him talk about it as a disability, rather than a disease, they knew that illness wasn’t going away. At least not any time soon.

"But you are... going... better", they answered. Even though they mistook the sign for "getting" to "going", it still made sense. They pulled out the PDA from the Compressed Inventory and started typing. "I’ve been watching you get better. It's only been a few days, and look! You're back to walking again. You're already decorating the base with new plants! You’ve made so much progress!"

"C'mon, Ryley, I told you to sign." Bart smirked. "You already learned a lot of these words."

Ryley stopped typing, making a pouty face. They did their best to remember the next words, so they could sign them off. "I… think…  I know what you need." They said. And then, fast and surprisingly, they grabbed Bart and threw him on their back. To be fair, Bart weighed about as much as a sack of fiber mesh, it wasn’t hard.

"WH..." Bart gasped. "What are we doing? Ryley what the-"

His words were cut short when Ryley threw him out into the moonpool, making water splash in all directions. They quickly grabbed his helmet, resting inside his personal locker, and cannonballed into the sea with him. 

Bart was still gasping and coughing when they arrived at the second base, the separate half from Ryley's habitat. They helped Bart through the hatch, laughing as he stared at them in confusion.

"A warning next time would be nice, you know?" He complained. "But I'm glad you finally brought me here. I've been wanting to see what you kept..."

He forgot to finish the sentence, as he saw the enormous two-story aquarium in front of him. On the floor, a multitude of assorted vines and mushrooms were growing, and between them, at least five different alien eggs were shimmering and pulsating. A few creatures were already hatched. Four different sharks - two stalkers, one boneshark and one sandshark. A crashfish. And even two unbelievably tiny crabsnakes. Compared to the size - and behavior - of the adults, it was obvious they were all juveniles. Most of those species would never tolerate or even fit within the same space as each other.

Ryley smiled at their friend. “Research Facility. I have… unknown eggs here.” They signed, a little unsure, despite having prepared for this.  “You can go in. Friendly.” They opened the hatch and held out a hand, leading their friend in.

“Wait, stop for just a second, magic can resume in 2 minutes.” Bart held up his hands, a burning question came to mind now that he’s seen Ryley’s aquarium.  “Is this how you scanned a boneshark?”

Ryley laughed and shook their head. They paused for a minute with a small smirk before they popped in the hatch and went up to the boneshark, miming punches at the young creature before patting it’s head and swimming back to the hatch.

Bart was speechless for a moment, but not long. “You. You’re trying to tell me you boxed a boneshark.” 

Ryley nodded and grinned.  “Yes. I punched…” Ryley frowned, making a few frustrated noises before starting to sign “bone”, then shook their head. They took their two hands, wrists together, so that the two hooked fingers on each hand made teeth for a mouth. Ryley grinned, they seemed very pleased with themselves.

“Look at you! Communicating! Making a sign for a species that doesn’t exist on Earth! Boneshark, right?” Bart returned Ryley’s grin with a beam of his own as they excitedly nodded. “Still doesn’t excuse boxing a boneshark. By the stars, how are you even alive?”

“Coming?” Ryley put out their hand again, totally ignoring their friend, and pulled Bart into the tank. Immediately, the fish swarmed the two of them.  Bart was fascinated, he’d never been able to see these creatures so close before, at least not without the imminent threat of bodily harm.

“They’re beautiful. So friendly too, did you train them at all?” Bart smiled as he pet the crabsnake that was swimming its way around his arms. It’s crust was soft, wigglier than the adult ones. Would probably harden into their crab armour in an older age.

“No. They… Don’t mind?” Ryley signed, shrugging to try and show they’re confused. Bart smiled, shrugging back and turning his attention to the predators swimming in circles around him. Ryley smiled at their friend, playing with the docile would-be predators.  The stalkers seemed to enjoy bopping their noses into him, sending him off balance with a comical oof.  Bart laughed, and it wasn’t quite as full as it had been years ago, but it still sounded like music to Ryley. How did they miss seeing that boy’s happy face again.

But it seemed the moment wasn’t to last.

Ryley folded over behind Bart, stifling a groan. Their vision filled with blue, and an echoing voice filled their ears. “Remember that you were never alone.” The blue image of a majestic creature filled their head to the point of bursting. They could vaguely hear a voice calling to them, reminding them of the friend they had to watch for. The blue shimmered again as they opened their eyes, looking for Bart past the lights in their vision. Just as the world was dimming, they felt themselves fall downwards. Then the blue faded, leaving an afterglow that burned their eyes, and a nasty headache throbbing across the top of their head. Rubbing their forehead, they looked up to where their legs were still half in the hatch, along with a frustrated and concerned Bart.

“I hope you know just how hard it was to get your giant ass out of that tiny hole.” Bart grumbled as he tried to remove their feet from the hatch, which Ryley politely decided to help with.  Then he ungracefully tumbled out of the hatch himself and sat down on the floor next to his friend. “What the fuck just happened?”

Oh, swears. Bart must have been really shaken up. Ryley themself could barely understand their situation as well, but still pulled out their PDA with shaking hands and tried to type. After a few trial and errors, they finally let it start speaking.

“I had some kind of vision. It was glowing in my eyes and left a headache all over my head. It was like the shadow of a creature, and all I could see were four bright eyes. It was trying to talk to me.” They tapped at the screen, backing up more than not. They rubbed at their face before the voice sounded again, “Could make out it saying I wasn’t alone. And it sounded comforting, rather than threatening.” They kept their eyes in their hands. Mostly from the residual headache, though partly trying to find a focal point to get their brain back together. What was that?

“So you’ve seen her too.” Bart whispered. “The visions… Dad thought I’d gone mad. Island sickness, he told Maida that one day. Didn’t talk about it much with me. He tried to keep scarce when the fits happened.” Bart looked down at his hands. “After they died, the visions weren’t as frequent. But they said a lot of comforting things too. I never knew whether to hate ‘em or love ‘em. After all, until now I thought I was just crazy.”

Ryley looked up, once again wishing so hard they could speak. There was no way to interpret that event, except that…

“It seems we’re not alone in this planet. There’s a sentient being out there, trying to reach us. A friendly one, if we’re reading this correctly.” They typed.

“A friendly one. A friend. Gods we might have a friend out there” Bart sighed, in relief, and waved his head. “For once a welcome change. Let me have this moment, Ryler, I might just be able to sleep better at night.” They both laughed.

[xtremedespair3d]

Should I move to WordPress?

This is kind of a sudden thing for me to talk about, but it’s something that I started thinking out of the blue this Thursday afternoon and I think I’m so close to make the final decision to actually do it because it’ll benefit me better for my blogging hobby in a better platform with better features, I might completely switch to WordPress for good.

For starters, the WordPress I’m talking about is the freemium version, WordPress.com, there’s no way I could use WordPress.org because I need to make a domain for it, and I don’t have the money to afford one and I think using WordPress.org might still require some coding to tweak some things, which is a hard pass.

I breifly talked about some things about moving to WordPress on my Twitter, but I think it’s best to explain in more detail as to why I want to move to WordPress.

Why should I move to WordPress?

As much as I like the theme I’m using in Tumblr, there’s this big problem with the pictures where it gets compressed so bad that the pictures look incredibly small. Just look how small it is.

And the worst part is if you click to view the picture, the compression really affected the actual resolution.

I’ve been running a test dummy website in WordPress and I chose this theme that I think it looks really cool, it has the style I like, but it still has the same problem with the image resolution when reading posts.

Although I think it looks somewhat better, it doesn’t look incredibly small compared to how Tumblr looks, but what’s better is that the compression doesn’t affect the resolution of the image when you click “View image” on Firefox (Or “Open tab to view image” in Chrome) and at least the placeholder tier shown here is normal, but when I put other images and I click “view image,” there’s this forced WordPress.com thing with menus all over, and no matter what you do, you can’t look at the bare image in your browser. Let’s just hope for the best that it doesn’t affect the resolution when you save those images.

Basically WordPress offers far better formatting options than Tumblr does if you’re using the Rich Text editor, and that’s what I’ve been using for my whole life, I don’t even bother using the HTML editor because I don’t know anything about coding at all. WordPress has this neat text editor where any item you put, some text or an image and they’re all set in blocks and it gives you some options right off the bat, we all know the basic text features like bold, headline, etc, but the headline is a life saver because I can make headlines at different sizes to balance the topics and stuff and that’s something I wouldn’t do in Tumblr’s rich text editor. I can even put images with no problem and the “Featured Image” option in WordPress works really good if your posts have thumbnails, I always tried to emulate this with Tumblr by just adding the picture on top of the text as if it was a thumbnail, it worked fine but I guaranteed it’s not as good of actually setting up your thumbnail as an option.

There’s also the option to add dividers which is something I really need for Tumblr, Tumblr did use to have dividers but for some reason they removed and I’ll just have to add pictures or something.

I did try a different theme on WordPress and the images look far better than this theme I’m using, but the problem with WordPress as well as Tumblr, is that 99% of the themes aren’t even that good, they just focus way too much on galleries and even the blog focused ones are just very cluttered with junk I don’t even need and defeats the purpose of wanting to make a blog site, this WordPress theme, the Rowling theme, is the kind of style that I like, I like my blogs to be like this classic style with the widgets like search, archive and such on the right while I get the posts and stuff on the left. It may not be as cool as the Tumblr one I’m using and the Rowling theme still has some flaws but it’s still going to do fine.

The other theme I tried was the Penscratch 2 theme which gears towards more blogging and it’s the kind of style that I like, although I used to like the theme but now I grew tired of it because I didn’t like how it looked anymore and the color options are extremely limited. The Rowling theme, on the other hand, allows me to customize 3 out of 5 options, I may not change colors in some areas but for the most part it’s far enough for me to use the theme.

Tumblr is a dead site

Another reason why I want to move on to WordPress is for the potential to get better attention unlike Tumblr which is non-existent (I mostly share links of the posts to some Discord servers I occasionally interact with, but I do wish the posts by themselves would get some tractions, I don’t know if it’s the tags but they should get something), mainly because no one on this day and age uses Tumblr anymore because they nuked all of the NSFW content, and that’s probably what caused people to boycott Tumblr for good.

Another problem Tumblr has is being owned by different companies like Yahoo and Verizon which served no good, especially after the porn content purge, but I COMPLETELY forgot that Tumblr was recently acquired by Automattic, the company that owns WordPress. Well, this post has already become quite the irony considering I want to move to WordPress, although I don’t think they’ll do any favors to Tumblr, and as the title of this category implies, Tumblr is dead at this point.

Despite Tumblr being bought by the owner of WordPress, it doesn’t really do anything for me, they’re not even adding some quality of life improvements to redeem Tumblr, hell, they probably won’t even redeem Tumblr, so might as well switch to WordPress which works far better as a blogging platform.

What about the posts I published throughout the years?

I originally thought I should rewrite every single post I made on the website for archival purposes, but I realized there’s a lot of them and it would be a pain in the ass to copy and paste everything, especially my New Year 2021 post which is probably the longest post I’ve ever made in my life (And nobody even read that, all that effort I put gone to waste).

I think it’s for the best to start from scratch, I was planning to launch the site with the HajiKo Anime Winter 2021 post (The Cells at Work Black + Cells at Work season 2 thing is a teaser), but at the same time I should make the first post being about my move to WordPress and I’ll leave a link to my Tumblr if anyone wants to read all my previous posts.

Conclusion

The more I’m trying to build my website with a dummy domain, the more I feel like I’m close to actually make the decision to actually move to WordPress for good, though it won’t take a while until April where I’ll launch the site with my new anime review post, like I mentioned earlier.

Despite the flaws the Rowling theme has and amongst other things, it just takes time and figure out what pages I’m going to make and other things and I’ll have a nicely polished website to completely move on from Tumblr for good.

By the way, I’m mainly going to use the free plan on WordPress, I don’t think I would like to spend money on upgrades for more features, even though I would like to have a good domain, SEO and even make money, I don’t think it’s going to be worth the investment if I want to pay for the plan religiously (I’m already financially struggling with paying for Netflix, Disney+, Arknights month pack, Ogata Tei’s Fantia and Sky-Freedom’s Subscribestar anyways).

For the moment I still have yet to finish my dummy site to get a better picture for how will the website turn out so I’ll eventually publish the real thing, so please wait patiently until that happens.

UPDATE - February 20th: I’m seriously having a hard time trying to make my website look good because every time I’m making a new page from scratch, the way the titles are formatted and everything just looks god awful! Everything is so narrow and it’s nothing like how the Rowling theme’s live demo is supposed to look like!

Look how gorgeous the live demo of the theme looks!

Compared to the absolute trash from making a page from scratch! Everything is so narrow, I hate this!

This is seriously disappointing me so bad to the point I don’t wanna move to WordPress anymore, there’s no other themes that I like to choose from.

---

My Carrd.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz/dbo 22.05.17 lb

holy shit this legit took me like 3 hours to complete. fuck meeeeeeeeee. i’m very smol and tired, i can’t handle this amount of drama on the daily yougaiz. fairly sure this week of episodes IS GOING TO KILL ME DEAD. 😥😥😥

plain text version here. 

FOR FUCKS SAKE SOMEONE GIVE RUDRA NEW CLOTHES, KAB TAK IS COCKROACH KA KHAAYA HUA TSHIRT PEHNE HUE GHOOMEGA???? HE’S AN OBEROI. THEY’RE RICH. KUCH TOH IMAGE KA KHAYAAL RAKHO! 😒😒😒

…how is NT rich enough to arrange for a BOMB? like… that stuff costs money. also specialised labour to put it together. 🤔🤔🤔

yeah you’d know what the chakkar was if you bothered keeping in touch with your poor older brother who’s handling EVERYTHING alone. hmph. 😑😑😑

such tadi, much style, waaah. 😎😎😎

5 minutes for dramatic posturing. while sahil is in danger. praan jaaye par swag na jaaye. 😏😏😏

shivani has transferred her buri nazar to kunal these days, by now putting HIM in these awful boxy vest waistcoat things, that make him look like he has a winnie the pooh body. COME ON MAN!!!!!! LAANAT HAI TUMPE FOR MAKING MY HANDSOME BOY LOOK LIKE THIS. 😩😩😩

for once, shivaay called a brother for backup. FOR ONCE. matlab itne bhai paal ke kyun rakha hai, agar kaam na aaye? 🙄🙄🙄

PICK UP YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. RUDRA HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😣😣😣

yuppppp, these vans are desi kidnapper vehicle of choice. to this day i’m terrified whenever i see one. 😕😕😕

OMG KHANNA ACTUALLY USING HIS BRAIN??? OH HAPPY DAY. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

… of course, shivaay ignores him on that one day. 😒😒😒

um, if you die, who tf is gonna save sahil? honestly shivaay, you’re so damn stupid sometimes. 😑😑😑

great, not one, but both are being stupid today. 

but i’ve come to expect it of om after how he’s been just walking into havelis with ppl who wanna kill him and just getting lured into cages and shit. you used to be the smartest boy, om. oh how the mighty have fallen. 😔😔😔

GOD FORBID KHANNA ACTUALLY DO HIS DUTY AND OPEN THE FUCKING VAN HIMSELF!?!?!?! 😒😒😒

ok they were still waaaay toooo close for them to be uninjured by a whole van blowing up. 😶😶😶 

also what if sahil was IN the fucking vannnnnnnn you motherfucking idiots?!!?!?!?! god i am so angry at all of you rn. DON’T BE PLAYING WITH MY CHILD’S LIFE LIKE THIS!!!!! 😡😡😡

oh. nowwww he thinks about if sahil was in it. ekkkkkkk jhaap mein… 😤😤😤

ugh return of the insufferable shivaay of yore. NO. WE DON’T LIKE THIS BOY. WE LIKE NEW SHIVAAY™. SOFT AND SELF AWARE SHIVAAY WHO TALKS IN FIRST PERSON. 😌😌😌

i’m sweatingggggg like cray just looking at the SWEATER kunal is wearing. shivani, y u hate my boys lyk dis? 😟😟😟

oBro hugzzzzzzzz. better than drugssss. 😊😊😊

is this same basti where they did poster hunt? 🤔🤔🤔

anika got her game face onnnn. 😏😏😏

oufffffff, NT is starting to get on nerves now. khatam karo yaaar yeh track. 😠😠😠

anika’s playing real estate agent in own house. best. 🙄🙄🙄

BITCH WHAT YOU SAYYYYYYY ABOUT SAHILLLLLLLLLLL 😡😡😡

look at SHIVAAAAAAAY SINGH OBEROIIIIII take the help of unsavoury looking members of public! 😧😧😧

11 saal??? how the f did sahil age 4 years in these few months??? 😯😯😯

if this lady is just a parent of some friend of sahil’s, how would she know sahil has taken SPECIAL CHUTTI from boarding school???? 🤔🤔🤔

behenji ki battiiiiiiii jali. 💡💡💡

BAAD MEIN PHONE KAROGI? HELLO, WHAT ABOUT AKSHAY???? HE HAS TO CUT HIS BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!! 🎂🎂🎂

mmmm cake. i could use some cake rn. 😋😋😋

she hasssssss the magic powerrrrrr of THOUGHT. 😒😒😒

you know NOWWWWW. abhi gila shikwa karne se kya faida? 😐😐😐

“tum ro kyun rahi ho??? roti hui bilkul achchi nahi lagti.”

OH UM MAYBE COZ HER BROTHER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED? I THINK IT’S PRETTY APPROPRIATE TO CRY. 😒😒😒

ALSO WHO GIVES A F ABOUT KAISI “LAGTI HOON” WHEN MY FUCKING BROTHER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED?!?!?!? FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BS STANDARDS OF BEAUTY BRO! 😠😠😠

ohhhh hoooooooo, redemptionnnnnnnnn track. 😏😏😏

… how did he just convert a regular phone call into a SKYPE video chat??? 🤔🤔🤔

OMG. HE’S IN THE PAANI. BECAUSE OF NT KA TAAAAIRNE WAALA STATEMENT. 😧😧😧

…. ok suddenly its NIGHT now? 😐😐😐

snort, om came home and instantly got caught up in his own issues. sahil who? bomb blast what? 😂😂😂

why does jhanvi have oxygen cylinder and mask just… lying around in her room? 🤔🤔🤔

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THE F THE FAKE SVETLANA IS? LIKE… IS SHE A KAPOOR OR NOT? AND HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN IN THIS DISGUISE? WAS THIS FAKE ONE THE ONE WE SAW FROM THE START IN IB, OR DID SHE REPLACE THIS ONE SOMETIME IN THE MIDDLE? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONSSSSSSSS AND NO ANSWERS!!!!!! 😩😩😩

why is real svetlana dressed like an airhostess? 😕😕😕

“main shaadi-shuda hoon. mujhpe dore daalna bandh karo." 

svetlana’s BITCH PLEASE face at that lmaooooo. 😂😂😂

pft, you’ve been failing at EVERYTHING for the past 3 months, om. leave the smug overconfidence to your big bro who actually does get things right occasionally. 🙄🙄🙄

why the f should there be FOOTPRINTS on marble/tile flooring????? 🤔🤔🤔

fauxlana is (relatively) smart. i like. 😌😌😌

pft, don’t be making awaiiiii ka regret face for red herring purposes. we know you got him. you wouldn’t return otherwise. 🙄🙄🙄

damnnnn, reyhna is so fucking gorgeous. i am in loveeeeeeee. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

lol ok real-lana’s bholi bhaali way of talking is kinda throwing me off. 😆😆😆

amazing how she’s been comatose in a freezer for god knows how long, but her memory and muscle function and all are A-OK! 😊😊😊

meanwhile, i struggle to move my goddamn limbs and form a coherent thought without even having been thrown in a freezer. 😖😖😖

aaaaaaaaaaand gauri is out. 😐😐😐

glucose daale bina hi, magically the glass of glucose paani got made. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 

this outfit of gauri’s looks pretty much like that white salwar of anika’s that she sleeps in these days, no? 😗😗😗

LOL FAUXLANA AND THIS FREEZER OF HERS. 😂😂😂

the scene changes are too fucking abrupt ok. 😕😕😕

come on, this child is not 11. look how tinguuuuuu he is. my little cupcake. i could eat him up in just oneeee bite. 👶🏽👶🏽👶🏽

WHATCHOO DOING JUST STANDING THERE, GET IN THE HUGGGG, BROOOO. 😚😚😚

YAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!! 😊😊😊

LOOK AT MY LITTLE FAMILY. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO PERFECT. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

wow, she just gave it away instantly WHERE gauri is. 😐😐😐

… what temperature range can a FREEZER have that a human being can stay alive in? science side of tumblr, please help. 🤔🤔🤔

"tumhari biwi JAM KE mar jaayegi" 

lol idk why that sentence is making me lol. 😂😂😂

why does he care about gauri all of a sudden now? he was perfectly fine leaving her to die/be raped and tortured at kali thakur’s. 😒😒😒

ok fauxlana is LOSING it. 😬😬😬

arre waah, fond flashbacks. apna bhai pighal raha hai. 😏😏😏

ok and what did throwing that bottle even accomplish? also how did fauxlana move before he even threw it, if she was super engrossed in her badle ki bhaavna waala lecture? 😒😒😒

arre idiot, if you had a gun, pehle hi istemaal kar deti uska. 🙄🙄🙄

amazing how both the omkara waala scene and anika waala scene are supposed to be happening in the SAME LOCATION of oberoi mansion (the foyer in front of the main door), but… nope. 😕😕😕

it’s really like they exist in some different realms or something. 😐😐😐

pfffffffft. “angry aur young” hone ka bas tune theka le rakha is ghar mein? 🙄🙄🙄

why did they show a smoking disclaimer when no one is smoking in the scene?? 🤔🤔🤔

heaaaaaaaavvvvy foreshadowing that shivaay isn’t pinky’s beta. 🙈🙈🙈

ouffff oh, this idiot still doesn’t know of mummeh’s involvement. yaaaaaar, by the end of this week at least? please? 😩😩😩

also kaaahe ka mahasangam???? bas IB and DBO ka episode has been edited together into one video instead of two different ones. none of the characters are interacting aapas mein beyond that one oBro scene. the rest of the week better not be like this is2g. 😠😠😠😤😤😤

roleeeeeeeeee playinggggg. againnnnnn. this man is incorrigible. 😏😏😏

bewakoofi toh yeh february se hi dikhaata aa raha hai.  matlab kuch dino ke liye shivaay ki nazar isse hatti, aur isne bas apna hi nahi, SABKI life ki OH MY MAATA kar rakha hai. 😒😒😒

paanch minute? timer says 1 minute and few seconds though? honestly. why wouldn’t you pay attention to shit like this, production team? 😒😒😒

BUAAAAA MAAAA TO THE RESCUE. 👵🏽👵🏽👵🏽

lmao gauri developing freezer burn like she’s a bag of frozen peas. 😂😂😂

WHERE DOES FAUXLANA KEEP PULLING THESE MULTIPLE SYRINGES FROM?????? 😟😟😟

ok the timer on that thing is def broken. 😐😐😐

lmaoooooo fauxlana’s impatience and side-eyeing om’s uselessness is so me. 😂😂😂

ALSO GIRL YES, YOU HAVE A GUN, WHY THE F WOULDN’T YOU JUST SHOOT HER?????? LIKE… 🤔🤔🤔

ABBE OHHHH HERO, APNI BIWI KO BACHA. NOT THIS RANDOM FREEZER GIRL WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE YOUR FATHER’S MISTRESS. 😑😑😑

… lol whatever om, you think she gives a rat’s ass about you? your ass will die first then. 😂😂😂

JUST SHOOT HIM FAUXLANA! 😫😫😫

lol idek what team i am on anymore. i’m just all the teams i guess lololol. 😂😂😂

LMAOOOOOOO JAANE NAHI DENGE TUJHE AGAIN. THE FUCKKKKK, HOW MANY TIMES WILL THEY USE THIS SONGGGGGGGG? 😅😅😅

they should have just played ‘saathiya’. it’s more hearttttwrenching than this stupid song. 😐😐😐

please note: her freezer burn is magically gone. 😗😗😗

pffffffffft, CPR as kissssss scene is coming up. MAJORRRR eye rolling happening here, but also some involuntary squeeing. because despite all logic and sane thinking, dil toh hai dil, dil ka aitbaaar kya kiiiije. 🤐🤐🤐

lol uske beech mein fauxlana - buamaa theatrics. could you ppl let me focus???? 😑😑😑

lolllllllllll they had time to script and film this with real-lana in the middle of all this. amazing. 😑😑😑 

buamaa toh badi shaatir nikli. maybe shivaay gets it from her? 😊😊😊

oufff oh, iska abhi tak GAURI UTHO GAURI UTHO ka jaap hi chal raha hai. abbe jo karna hai, kissy wissy jo bhi hai, kar na. awaiiii ka time waste. 😒😒😒 

i could be watching shivaay/anika going about their kinky roleplaying in this time. hmph. 😤😤😤

first of all, is om even trained in CPR? like… why does HE have to give it to her? buamaa seems knowledgeable about it, why can’t she do it? 😕😕😕

lmaoooooooooooo omg fauxlana leaning to the side to see better as om approaches gauri. 

when your otp are about to kiss. #relatable 

ok are you ppl aware that the actual important part of CPR is the chest compression bit, not the mouth to mouth? in fact, people who aren’t trained in CPR are recommended to use ONLY chest compressions. 😐😐😐

but i guess asking for a scene for omkara "feeling up” gauri’s boobies (because you know, that’s what this whole scene is all about. the physical intimacy. 😒😒😒) is TOO MUCH for indian television. 

GOD OM DO IT ALREADY. DUS GHANTE LAGAAYEGA KYA? 😤😤😤

fauxlana getting jelly. does she have realllll feelings for omki shomki? girl, you shoulda focused on tapping it when you had the chance, instead of wasting time in all your other udddd-shud harkatein. 🙄🙄🙄

riKara shippers be like AGAIN!!!!!!!! MOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!! 😘😘😘

haaaaaaye, what a sight to wake up. ohhh to be gauriiii kumaaariiii ssssarma in this moment. 😇😇😇

ok my heart is doing tinglyyy things seeing his happy lovesick eyes. what a puppy. despite everything i’ve been yelling at him today, i love this boy so much. my omki shomki. 😍😍😍

heinnnnn, what was he raising his hands up to do? 🤔🤔🤔

yeah that means bye bye time for you now, gauri. 😐😐😐

at least you got two “kisses” out of your time, girl. udhar anika bechaari kabse pyaasi ghoom rahi hai. despite being “real wife” and all that. 😔😔😔

bloody shivaay. kuch seeekh apne chote bhaiyon se. 😒😒😒

… is it necessary to have this conversation IN FRONT OF THE POLICE AND FAUXLANA? 😒😒😒

btw, why are they still here? why hasn’t the police taken her yet? what are they waiting for, christmas? 

om be like “idk having a wife worked out good for shivaay. maybe i should keep this one? 🤔🤔🤔”

HER NAME ISN’T SVETLANA THO? LIKE WHAT IS HER REAL NAMEEEEE????? DOESN’T ANYONE CARE WHY SHE TOOK REAL-LANA’S FACE AND DID ALL THIS???? WHY AREN’T YOU PPL ASKING FOR EXPLANATIONS????????? 😩😩😩

oh hoooooo “kisiiii ne mujhseee kaha tha” and all… 😏😏😏

ok, actually physically dragging her out is unnecessary???? 😕😕😕

why does this girl wear her dupatta like a geriatric watchman wears a kambhal tho? 🙄🙄🙄

ouffff, dialoguebaazi bandh kar aur chalta ban. awaiiii ka naatak. 😒😒😒

god shrenu is soooo fucking pretty though. i can’t handle just how pretty she is. 😍😍😍

lmaoooo, gauri’s managed to get on bade bhaiyya’s radar. 😄😄😄 bade bhaiyya’s gonna make errrrything alrightttttt! #championOfOberoiBahus 😊😊😊

[youremyonlyhope]

From Out of the Rain

AKA Torchwood created a traveling circus that is somehow scarier than Pippin’s.

I’m just very happy I managed to connect Pippin, my favorite musical, to Torchwood, one of my favorite shows of all time.

Though, I mean, you could really debate which is scarier: a circus troupe stealing your breath, or a circus troupe convincing who knows how many young men to kill themselves...

Probably not gonna watch anymore episodes tonight after this one. I’ll watch the last 3 later. Watch me wait another year and half again because I don’t want to watch Adrift, Fragments, and Exit Wounds.

Yeah so apparently the Ghostmaker guy also plays Davros. Something I just found out from the Tardis wiki. That’s amazing. Why that little girl would just run into the circus tent is beyond me. Why? Why would you just run in there at top speed? Seriously why? (Distant screeching) That’s a very Torchwood caption. Footage keeps playing? Yep that’s creepy. “How the cinema and Hope Street looked in days gone by.” OK. When I go to Cardiff, and I will some day, if only to go to Mermaid Quay and look at the Torchwood water tower, I have to visit Hope Street. Because. Hope. Never mind, Just checked Google Maps and there’s not much there. Torchwood must have created a fictionalized version of it. Oh. Not only does the Torchwood SUV say “Torchwood” all over it, but there are blue moving lights on the windshield. I just noticed that. Torchwood. The most well known secret organization ever. “Cinema may have saved their images, but it finished them off.” That’s sad when you think about it. Yep. Guy in an old-timey suit and a girl in a leotard and swim cap standing in the rain. Creepy. (Also yes Tumblr, “timey” is a word. Just ask the Doctor.) What mother hangs up on her daughter when she’s out late and alone? I don’t care how mad you are at your daughter for staying out late, get her home and THEN punish her when she’s safe.

The girl having a heartbeat but no breath just reminded me that I just took a CPR refresher course yesterday. If only Owen had still been alive(/half-dead) now because then he would have known he could have attempted to save Mr. Parker with just chest compressions, he didn’t need his breath. The Red Cross now says that if the person isn’t breathing because of cardiac arrest and they’re an adult, if you can only do chest compressions and can’t give them breaths then that’s ok. Like if they’ve vomited and you don’t want to put your mouth on theirs for obvious reasons. Just chest compressions constantly for as long as you can (or ideally switching off with someone else every 2 minutes) is almost if not just as the good as the 30 chest compressions and 2 breaths cycle. So that makes Owen not being able to save the guy and him being heartbroken over it even worse because he could have if Torchwood took place 10 years later.

OK where’s Tosh? I need more Tosh in this episode. We got like 2 seconds of her looking at her computer confused and that’s it so far. THERE SHE IS! Finally. “He was part of this freak show.” “Some things never change.” “...Are you being rude about me?” I LOVE JACK AND OWEN’S RELATIONSHIP. “That’s right. I remember her. Wearing almost nothing.” While he was saying that I was thinking “Owen. I can’t remember, but if you mention her outfit – you mentioned her outfit. I hate you.” Owen is the worst. I love him, but he’s the worst. But god do I love him. “I was sent to investigate the Night Travellers” “By... who?” “Long story.” Torchwood isn’t a long story. Unless it wasn’t Torchwood... Jack... were you a double agent? Even after your became immortal? The tattooed man isn’t even impressive, not even for those times. There were people way more tattooed than that in the early 1900s. “Living mermaid” So are there dead mermaids? Yep. Leaning on the car window. Creepy. How is this Ghostmaker guy also Davros? I am amazed and impressed. Good on you dude. He almost reminds me of... Johnny Depp... but he’s most likely a much better person than Johnny Depp. What type of waterproof makeup did they use on the mermaid lady? Ok, I just love the look and feel of this drained abandoned pool. I love it. Oh that’s great. The ghosts are just standing there. Don’t they want an audience that wasn’t forced to come and watch them? One that can react to their performance? Why would you reach out to touch her? She’s lying in your bath, and she shouldn’t be there, so try calling out first. Then touch. Also the instructions for CPR, call out are you ok, then tap them and do it again. Once again, Owen’s deadness spares him. I love Owen. Oh no, when the kid is revived they play the emotional Torchwood theme. Ugh I don’t need these feels. What person just buys a random film reel? Without watching it? When the NIght Travellers come back, it’s all that stupid dad’s fault.

This episode’s weird. But I still enjoy it. I don’t know. I’ve always liked circus stuff, especially if it’s creepy, hence why Pippin is my favorite musical. Though Pippin’s more disturbing than creepy, but still. Yeah.

But this episode needed more Tosh. Everything needs more Tosh.

The next episode... makes me really emotional. There’s one moment in it that horrified me more than anything in the show up to that. And that includes Countrycide and Dead Man Walking. It wasn’t even scary just... disturbing? Upsetting? I don’t know. Not watching it tonight. I don’t need those feels. Especially the feels of the 2 episodes after it. I love Torchwood, I love season 2, I just hate how it ends.

[fanfictionchild]

Oversight

Avengers x Reader     One shot

Summary: You’ve finally had enough of the neglect and disrespect after all you’ve done for them

Word Count: 2229

Warnings: Angst, crying, OOC?

A/N: Mmmk so this is the first time I’m posting anything on Tumblr and also the first oneshot I’ve ever produced as well as my first angst story... a lot of firsts. Also sorry if this is crappy, I was just really in the mood to write something and I just kinda spit this out on a whim so I’m sorry if it sucks.

        “God damnit!!!” She screams as she pounds on the punching bag taking out an amazing amount of anger on the poor object. She swings and kicks and jabs, the bag starting to swing on the chain holding it to the ceiling. With a last burst of energy she raises her foot and slams it into the bag hard, snapping the chain and sending the bag tumbling off its support to the floor a few feet away from where she was standing. Sweat drips off of her, soaking into her compression shorts and sports bra. Panting hard, she lets out an angry yell and kicks the bag one more time sending it rolling a farther across the floor.

          “Wow…” Steve mutters off to the side, amazed on the amount of strength she had presented to him. At the sound of Steve’s mumbles she whips her head around to glare in his direction.

           “What are you doing here Steven?” (Y/N) speaks quietly but the rage was pouring off her in tidal waves. His full name came rolling off her tongue with such malice, definitely something he wasn’t expecting, sending a shiver down the mighty captain’s spine.

           “I c-came to see if you were okay.” Stevie curses himself for stuttering as he stares into her eyes as her glare darkens.

           “Oh? So now you care? So all of you suddenly care that I won’t deal with your guy’s bullsh*it any longer?” She whispers, stalking towards him. Steve goes to take a step back to distance himself from the danger but falters when his back hits the wall, after all he was leaning against it not long beforehand. As she approaches him his face pales and he doesn’t know what to do, once she was close enough she sends a punch flying in his direction. He flinches away and closes his eyes but feels nothing but definitely hears impact. His eyes snap back open, a shocked expression gracing his features as he glances over at the gargantuan hole that has formed next to his head in the solid wall, her bloody fist settled in the center of it. (Y/N)’s eyes glaze over and the snarl marring her lips dies and forms a straight line. Her emotionless demeanor is truly terrifying, even more so than when she was angry.

           “Back off Steven. I don’t want to see any of your faces right now let alone speak to any of you. I’m leaving, and don’t expect me back for a while. I don’t want any of you trying to find me, calling me or trying to contact me in anyway, got it?” She breaths out looking at him with dead eyes. He slowly nods still trying to slow his heart rate after the previous events, not really hearing what she said. Once again she snarls and takes a step away from him.

           “Goodbye Steven.” She says one last time before striding out the door of the training room and slamming it closed making the door rattle and nearly fall off its hinges. Steve let’s out a shaky breath before pushing himself off the wall to follow after her. As he leaves he catches a sight of her profile in the elevator, angry tears rolling down her cheeks, mixing with the sweat that was there previously. His heart clenches with guilt and regret before tracing her steps to the elevator planning on following her to try to apologize. 

          Waiting for the elevator to return he asks F.R.I.D.A.Y., “F.R.I.D.A.Y., is (Y/N) heading to her floor?” 

         “Yes, Mr. Rogers, she is. But she has blocked all access to her floor, I’m sorry sir.” The slightly robotic voice answers. At this new information, Steve’s knees nearly buckle under him.

         “No…” Steve whispers before practically slamming the elevator button trying to open it faster. The door doesn’t open for a few more seconds, wasting valuable time needed to get to the others or more specifically Tony so he could lock down the building, preventing (Y/N) from leaving. Finally the door opens and he dashes in, slamming the buttons again. While in the small enclosed room Steve’s mind keeps flashing back to the images of (Y/N)’s hurt, angry, and stoic facial expressions. The guilt grows in the blond’s heart as he realizes what a complete a**hole he had been to the stunning, kind girl. It hadn’t been only him though, it had been the whole Avenger’s team that had neglected her the past few months. 

          After the war that had happened between them, everyone’s lives on the compound drastically changed. Everyone became less focused on the team as a whole and became more secluded and distant. Hatred was shared between everyone, hating each other for all of their conflicting views.The team quickly grew apart but she, (Y/N), disregarded everyone’s hatred and selfishness and snapped everyone out of their hostile mind sets. She had always been there to bring them back together again, always listening to everyone’s worries and concerns. Being a shoulder to cry on, waking a team member from a brutal nightmare, doing everyone’s chores, always trying to keep us as a family instead of us branching out by ourselves without any support from the others. Slowly but surely the hatred dissipated between them and the Avengers grew close once again, except for (Y/N). 

        She was left behind, left doing the chores. She still talked to everyone, the people she previously comforted but only when they thought it was convenient. No one tried to involve her back into the group, too ashamed of the things that she helped them through. So no one noticed when her health started failing or when she started to wake up screaming from her own nightmares or sobbed into her pillows due to how lonely she had actually become. And even through all this (Y/N) kept up her wall of fake happiness, still acting as practically everyone’s slave. And then finally today, she snapped. 

         The team was talking in the common room laughing and having a good time when she walked in. At first her entrance wasn’t noticed due to her now much lighter frame (caused by her unnoticed sickness) and her bare feet barely making any noise on the cold floor, but as soon as she was noticed the voices died down to eventually nothing. When (Y/N) noticed how silent the team had become, she looked up from the laundry basket in her arms towards the couches where they were all seated. She had looked into Tony’s eyes and flashed a nearly dead smile, still trying to desperately preserve her mask but when Tony directed his gaze down to the floor, away from hers, her smile vanished. (Y/N)’s distraught eyes flew around the room looking for something, anything that would keep her from breaking. When no one met her gaze, her facade crumbled and all the contempt, rage and sadness came flooding out of her in screams and sobs of animosity. It had caught every member of the team off guard, the happy, kind, and genuine woman was gone and in her place was a broken and lonely girl. But by the time any of them realized what she had become it was way too late. 

           When Nat stood up to try to calm the enraged girl down, she practically screeched at her to “Keep the f*ck away from me!” quickly stopping even the Black Widow  in her tracks. At that point (Y/N) was seething, actually that doesn’t even begin to cover the bitterness she felt. With a muttered “Stay away from me,” she walked out of the common room to the elevator to go to her room, quickly getting changed into your training gear to head to the training room which led Steve and her to now.  The moment where the elevator couldn’t move any slower.

          When the elevator door opened, Steve sprinted out like a bat out of hell toward the common room, hoping to find the team still there. As he rounds the corner of the hall, he sees the team all still sitting on the couches, all contemplating how they could of done such a thing to their friend, their teammate, their family. A guilty silence had settled over the room when (Y/N) had left and it hadn’t been interrupted even when Steve had left to go find her but when he came back, he shattered it.

         “Stark!!! Lock the building down now! Don’t let anyone leave!” Steve yells. The others jump at the disturbance but Stark quickly answers although hesitantly.

         “Cap… why? What’s going o-”“There’s no time Tony! (Y/N) plans on leaving and not coming back! Now move!” That one sentence seems to kick start everyone as the all launch themselves off the couches to help. 

         “F.R.I.D.A.Y.! Turn off all the elevators and lock all the doors to the outside, we are on lock down till we get (Y/N) to stay, forcefully or not!” “Okay sir.” With that, alarms start going off throughout the Avenger’s Tower, screeching something about a lock down. The team can hear the elevators shutting down and here the panic which is quickly calmed down after Tony calls reception to tell them what is happening. And then the alarms turn off, leaving the whole building in a strange silence. A few minutes pass before the team visibly relaxes  and they all decide to try and go see (Y/N) and try to get her to stay, at that point they would all have been willing to beg at her feet to keep her there. Steve relaxes slightly as well but he still can’t help but feel slightly off, like something bad is still going to happen. As all the team walks to the stair well (since the elevators are off), the alarms start blaring again all of a sudden, only this time about the lock down still being in place. The team collectively tenses again but only Tony truly knows what’s happening.

          “NO!” He screams quickly calling for all security to look for (Y/N) but stops suddenly eyes filling with unshed tears as he listens to the other side of the line. When the team hears his command their eyes widen.

         Steve practically explodes,” Tony! What is happening?!” Tony hangs up his call before slowly sinking to his knees, putting his head in his hands.

        “There was a breakout of the building. The garage door was smashed down by a car more specifically, my car so (Y/N) could escape with hers.” He answers quietly, tears trailing down his cheeks. And with that one statement the whole team breaks down, Nat let’s out an extremely uncharacteristic sob and she clutches at her heart while sinking to the floor with Tony. Bruce just stands there in shock, eyes filled with unshed tears and Clint let’s out a heartbroken cry before punching the wall repeatedly before simply leaning up against it, starting to cry as well for his lost friend. Steve stands there, watching his team crumble under the loss of (Y/N), the underestimated, neglected, broken girl that saved them and ruined them. The regret and pain was suffocating him and he had to get away, had to go make sure (Y/N) wasn’t still in her room and just playing a terrible prank on them for hurting her. Steve slowly walks down the stairs towards (Y/N)’s floor in a haze. Not completely believing what was happening when he arrived at her room, the door is hanging open practically taunting him. He gently pushes open the door and the sight knocks the air out of his lungs and he collapses.

         The room is practically spotless, closet cleared, dressers empty, bed made. There is no trace that she had ever been there. There’s no way she packed all of her things up that quickly, there was no way!  He looks around the room for anything that might make this blow feel less like a bullet to the heart. And then he spots it, a small folded piece of paper sitting on the dresser. He drags himself off the floor not knowing how he was able to stay standing, and slowly steps toward the note. When he reaches it he doesn’t want to open it, it would only make her leaving that much more real. He gently lifts the note from its perch before opening it. The sight inside shatters him, it’s a picture of the team all smiling and having fun during a movie night except the right side is ripped off, the part where (Y/N) was sitting in the photo. Under the picture is a letter stating that she was planning on getting kicked out soon enough (the reason she was so quickly packed up) but this happened sooner, which once again breaks his heart knowing that they made her feel alienated enough that she thought she would be kicked out. She also states that she won’t be back till she is healed enough to deal with them again which has a chance of never happening. But the last two lines spark a small fragment of hope in Steve. 

          “Please do not beat yourselves up to much for this, what you did was wrong, yes, but you need to learn and grow from it, not wallow in your guilt. Even with how you all treated me, I still love you guys and will miss all of you, I will try to come back as soon as possible.     

                                                          Love, 

                                                                (Y/N)”