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anundyingfidelity · 10 months ago

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I'M A RUIN — Soldier Boy/Ben (Part V)

Series summary: After the events of the Seven Tower, you present Grace Mallory a new secret project you're working on already to develop a cure to Compound V. The only problem? You need Soldier Boy for that.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.

Word count: 2.4k.

Warnings for series: set after S3 (spoilers), some OOC!Ben, some depressed!Ben, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, slow-burn, language, PTSD, reader has Compound V (she's no Vought supe tho), Soldier Boy being an usual asshole, reader is a fucking liar.

Warnings on this chapter: some misogyny and shit (you know who), psychiatry stuff, canon gore, blood, heads exploding, and violence?.

Notes: so I'm sorry for any mistakes during the psychyatric process, I go to therapy and take medication myself so that's all I know plus google research. And be aware of the gore descriptions, I tried to do my best I guess lol. Thanks for reading as always!

this fic tags: @k-slla @syrma-sensei @mostlymarvelgirl @cheynovak @drasticemotions @soldirboy @deans-spinster-witch

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

get yourself in the taglist!

GEN MASTERLIST! — SERIES MASTERLIST!

Part V: Blow Your Mind

With a deep breath, you reviewed the symptoms Soldier Boy barely 'gave' during your session. The list was kind of long on the pages and it read:

Always being on guard for any danger, self-destructive behavior, irritability, angry outbursts, panic attacks, feeling emotionally numb, not trusting anyone, not feeling safe, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, fatigue, muscle tension, headaches, back pain...

There was a weird silence surrounding both of you, mostly because of his mood and his change in demeanor from a somewhat friendly asshole to an irritated, unbearable jerk. Once you had started with the uncomfortably stupid questions, he felt threatened. Soldier Boy wasn't actually open to talk about his past and the traumatic experiences he had, and that meant it was difficult to get to know how his body and mind were reacting to all the stress and madness he went through in decades, adding those weeks after Billy Butcher had released him from his nightmare.

He was opposed to speaking directly about how he was feeling, but you knew better that Ben speaking out on his symptoms was not going to happen. So you had to ask each one of them and review some his most harsh experiences directly, in order to receive monotonous responses, limited to: 'yes', 'no', 'I don't know,' and finally 'what the fuck is that?' You took them all as an absolute yes.

He was being defensive and you knew better than to miss anything after he almost burned the whole damn building. And with the small but confident experience you had with psychiatry, you concluded that he needed medication and therapy. As soon as fucking possible.

"Yeah, you have PTSD," you said after a moment and your eyes found his unreadable gaze.

He raised his eyebrows with false surprise. He already heard that shit from Hughie before. "And where's the fucking drugs?"

"For that to happen, you have to stop the weed first."

"I've survived bricks of coke mixed with shit you probably don't know about and you want to take the only thing that's keeping me sane? Fan-fucking-tastic!" he fumed, but you didn't flinch. Not a bit.

"Look, my goal is keeping you safe and making you sane because you definitely are not. Not right now. And since I took you out, you'll follow my process, so stop whining."

He chuckled softly with a bitter grimace on his lips as he shook his head softly. "No, that's not gonna happen."

"I don't care if you agree with that, it's settled," you continued, a triumphant smile plastered on your face.

It was true, you didn't give a single shit. He had to be clean and quit any type of drugs to start the medication but most importantly, to use his blood. Eventually. You were more than aware that he wouldn't die easily, that was proved. And it was just a matter of time to get him to your lab to take samples of his blood and run the necessary research on them while you and your team still continued the studies with the Anti-V prototype. You were only hoping that day would arrive soon enough. Two months sober, that was all you needed from him. And the best part? Soldier Boy didn't have to really know the whole details.

Ben, on the other hand, clenched his jaw so tight and closed his eyes for a moment after hearing your statement. You really were a fucking bitch, letting him fall into the abyss of misery and torture that was his own wrecked mind. He considered your intentions internally, once again for the millionth time. You showed up there all dressed up, playing a rich doctor when in reality you were just a fucking slutty brat, just to tell him he had to stop his usual pot, which you also brought happily when he asked you to. And now, you were taking away the only thing that stopped him from ripping your head off. What a great move.

"That's not smart," he insisted.

"Why not? I have you under my own terms."

Ben tilted his head, studying you carefully. "You can't stop me, doll. None of you can. I'm only here because I find it suitable instead of storming out and catching unnecessary attention."

Ben saw you swallow down, he immediately knew it was because you were angry, not scared. You never really seemed scared of him. And you tried to restrain yourself from slapping him right away. "Are you blackmailing me again, Soldier Boy?"

"Is just a warning," he said, nonchalantly. "Wouldn't want to harm such a pretty thing like you, now wouldn't we."

"Oh well, just a reminder I can also turn on the damn gas if needed," you snapped. The arrogant smirk on his lips fell off and it was your turn to smile back. "We all have hidden cards, right?"

Such an arrogant bitch, he thought.

"So, what's your plan?" you switched the subject to avoid going further into what was troubling him.

"What do you mean?"

"Homelander. You want him dead, don't you? You must be getting ready to fight again..."

His body seemed tense once you pushed him to talk, looking away from you to calm a bit. "Isn't that what all of you want?"

"Any sane person would love that, trust me."

Soldier Boy narrowed his eyes. "Well, I can do it. If I wasn't here... You've seen what he's capable of. Jesus, I've seen it," he bitterly chuckled. "And the kid? He's a fucking menace."

"You've been watching the news, I take that—"

"The fuck I do! Wasn't gonna wait for you to keep me up to date of what the fuck is going on!" Ben shouted, his loud voice roaring in your ears despite the distance.

"I don't want you to stress out more than you do," you said, vacillating. "A lot of things take time, such as you adapting to the twenty-first century."

"I'd love to know when that'll happen," Ben insisted. "Or else, I might just break out."

With a tentative smile, you started to write down the report. "I'm so glad you're talking more during our sessions."

You barely said goodbye to Soldier Boy once you finished your daily session. Your head was aching as you walked down the aisle, barely leaving the empty wing of the building behind. Certainly he was hard to handle and was behaving defensively. Before you left he began asking, or better said, bossing you to get him whatever the kid Hughie told him he needed to learn how to use. Shit like the internet and GPS, he said. You told him he was not ready for it yet.

But you'd give him a golden star for trying and insisting so badly, even if he was against eighty percent of your methods. He was up to something, there was no question for that. He was a soldier, more or less like his given supe name. People like him always had a plan, and underneath his facade, there were more plans backed up with words of honor that you had to track sooner or later.

As you made your way to your office, greeting your lab employees and guards, a disturbing sensation grew up inside. Before crossing the doorframe you subtly looked around, focusing for some reason in the security camera, more time than you'd like to admit. You turned again to finally get inside, facing the entry of your office when hurried steps and a voice stopped you from doing so.

"Doctor!"

Once again you turned on your heels to see your assistant, tablet in hand. Those had to be the results.

"Hey," you began. "You have everything?"

Bianca nodded with a straight face and handed you the tablet. You noticed her tight grip and her somehow trembling fingers when you took the device from her hands. You eyed her a little, she remained with her hands intertwined in front of her, her attention seemed lost. With caution, you continued to check the file.

"Is the patient alright?" you asked, reading the profile of the supe who had the not so good luck of being tested previously.

Solaris was his supe name. And he had the ability to manipulate light and matter with his mind. He had taken part in the program for a month now and this was his first test. As always, each supe you had into the program was low-profile. You were thankful of your team keeping these supes under their gaze to offer them some sort of solution, even after all the deaths you tracked from time to time when a test of the Anti-V was run. More than a solution for them, it was a partial contribution to find it.

You quickly scanned the updated file that Bianca completed for you. He was doing better than projected, his powers were still gone with a forecast of probably coming back within a couple of hours. A deep breath left your lips. Now that was an improvement. It was the first time anything like that happened on any tests. The supe survived, he was weak but the powers were off for a bit. It was a small step closer to your goal. Just a little bit more maybe and it could be done, finally...

"He's resting right now," Bianca interrupted your thoughts. Your eyes were back on her face.

"This is great news, thank you. I trust he's doing okay."

She nodded. "He is."

"Great, I guess I'll see him in a couple of hours," you said about entering your office.

"Wait!" Bianca suddenly closed the little space between both of you. She breathed heavily before stuttering words out. "I, I have- I'm sorry..."

"Are you okay?" you inquired, knowing her behavior was unusual. She swallowed down, turning her gaze away, her hands shaking. Was she sick? "Bianca, what's wrong?"

You tried to reach her cheek with your hand, but she stepped back abruptly, looking at you like if you were a ghost with her eyes red and wet, and a fine layer of sweat adorning her skin.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

You walked towards her, worried about what was going on but every step you took, she also gave it back.

"Bianca, what's happening?"

Her back bumped the wall of your office, and finally, she started to cry. "I'm sorry. You have to go, please..."

Your heart started pounding heavily on your chest. "What—"

"Go now! Please... Please don't hurt me..."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Bianca," you whispered, trying to comfort her.

But she continued crying and mumbled incoherent words with eyes shut, while hot tears streamed down her face. She choked on her sobs as she pleaded for her life. But you didn't understand why. You tried to soothe her, reaching her shoulder with your free hand.

And when you placed your palm on her, everything became red. It all happened in seconds. Ropes of warm blood covered your face in an instant. A loud gasp fell from your throat. You felt every drop mixed with brains on the skin of your face, on your neck, and sliding down the skin under your blouse. It was shocking and equally disgusting. And your eyes remained shut, not brave enough to move or see the horrid picture in front of you.

Your palm was still on her shoulder when the remains of her body fell to the ground with a thud. Your trembling hand wiped some blood from your face to open your eyes anew. The wall was painted with her, as much as you were, and it left a trail of blood from where her corpse slid to the floor. Her head long fucking gone.

"Shit."

Shit. Fucking shit. Was it him? It had to be him. There was no reason to doubt it. It was him. And he complied with his promise. Had Homelander been controlling Bianca? Was she the only one? No. There had to be something more. Homelander wasn't easy and he wasn't merciful with anyone. You had to stop him and get Soldier Boy out of the building. Now.

You tried to control yourself as best as you could, walking away to reach anyone, crossing a corner on the hallway, where a guard was casually passing by.

He stopped on his tracks at your sight, covered in blood and meat. "Doctor?"

"I need your help," you whispered.

He nodded quickly and you began explaining with a low, shaky voice.

"I don't know what happened, my assistant was right there with me when— Fuck!"

You walked some inches away when his head exploded, just like Bianca's did. Luckily, or not, this time was inside his helmet. All the red brains and blood were catched by it. Still, you wanted to throw up right fucking there. The remains of his body fell to the floor with a loud sound.

With a deep breath you continued your way, finding guards, lab assistants and agents. If they were alive, their heads popped into your sight. And if it was your somehow lucky moment of the day, you just found their headless corpses lying on the ground, creating a pool of blood you tried to avoid.

The only thing on your mind was taking Ben out of the building. The alarm had been turned on and the annoying sound of it was driving you crazy. Your head ached more than ever as you made your way to Soldier Boy for the second fucking time during the day.

Since there was no time to open the heavy door properly, you used a force field around the metal, moving the door until it slipped enough to let you in. You found him standing in the middle of the room. Eyes dark and alert, with fists and frame ready to fight. He wrinkled his nose once you entered the place.

"What the fuck's going on?" Ben growled, observing your blood covered face.

"We need to go, now. Take your clothes off."

He blinked, taken aback. Before he answered you continued with an explanation.

"I'll turn you invisible, but can't turn your clothes," you ordered, looking in the closet for a sports bag you knew was inside and picking a couple of shirts, pants and boxers as quickly as time allowed you to. Once finished, you turned to Ben again.

"Mind to fucking clarify?" he insisted. You sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.

"Look, I'll tell you everything once we're out," you turned one of your hands invisible for him to see.

Ben snorted with laughter. How ironic, he thought.

"No fucking way."

"Strip. We're leaving."

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy imagine #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy fanfiction #the boys amazon fanfiction #the boys series #the boys tv #the boys amazon prime #jensen ackles fanfiction #soldier boy/ben

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steddieunderdogfics · 25 days ago

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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @Thegertie! RurouniHime has 24 fics posted to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @Thegertie:

Accidentally Absconding With An Impulsive Idiot: A Tale Told In Thirty Parts

Don't Cry For Me, Next Door Neighbor

The Nightly Stroll

In My Heart of Hearts

Rebellion in Your Back Pocket

"Rurouni does such a wonderful job writing alternative romantic and sexual orientations for Steddie, and has a particularly special skill with writing really tight, fully-formed stories that work alone or within series. The humor and character voices are always so on point, and the variety of depicted relationships make for a very well-rounded selection of stories to choose from!" -- anonymous

Below the cut, @Thegertie answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

ST was almost a no fly zone for me. I wasn't too impressed with season 1—nostalgia, eh, but I didn't like the 80s much when I was living through them, so it wasn't enough. However, I ran out of things to watch and picked ST up again on a friend's rec, and each season got better than the last. Steve was already one of my favorite characters (the other being Joyce), but up through S3 I'd had no fandom engagement. And thenS4 rolls around and here comes Eddie Munson. And he is such a wonderful character that I finally went searching for fic…and found Steddie. I hadn't felt so moved by and attached to a pairing in a while and I leapt straight in. Steve and Eddie are such great foils for each other, different but also similar, and at their cores are pain, but also wholehearted love. When they turn it all toward each other… well, it just makes for beautiful and wrenching and satisfying stories.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

PINING. Oh, give me all the pining, I love it so! Mutual pining? Even better! Mutual pining unbeknownst to each other?? Just knock me over the head right now and go home, that’s it, all buttons pushed.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I've thought about this and I'm not really sure. Or maybe it just changes depending on my mood. A trope I tend to return to again and again is the misunderstanding/reconciliation trope, though I know that's very broad. If you (again) add The Pining into the mix, it gets even more rich and delicious. But I do love to use the misunderstanding (minor or major) and pining tropes to explore a character's insecurities and then allow them to get a little healing. That's pretty common in all the fandoms I've written for, I think.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Might be the very first one I read: the affliction of the feeling by nondz (pinkjook). I mean… hot DAMN. What a way to start! The emotional description paired with the physicality of this fic is superb. Writing goals. I have been meaning to reread this one since the first time I read it. I still have the original tab open for it, but I keep putting it off because I love to torture myself with ever impending feels.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I'm always coming up with half-baked fic ideas and most of them are going nowhere. I really don't have anything particular simmering on the back burner at the moment. I do have intense plans for my Tubthumper series (ace!Fratboy!Steve) but if I say much what, it'll be a spoiler.

What is your writing process like?

I do not write consecutive scenes. I've heard from people who have to write start to finish, but that has never been me. I tend to jump all over the place: middle scene, ending scene, middle, beginning, ending, middle, middle, etc. The con of this is that I often lose track of what takes place when and have to redraft parts of the story to make the timeline work. The pro is that my themes tend to stay very strong and intertwined as a result. I think it's a fine payoff.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I jump? More than just jumping around in a story; I have to be working on several projects at once because if I get stuck on something, I need to have something else to jiggle the flow free. I also go through prolonged periods of intake (reading, watching, listening) vs output (writing, brainstorming, plotting), which can be annoying, as it means I'm not always inspired to create.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Sigh. I have used chaptered fics in the past to try to force myself into keeping to a schedule, but what usually happens is I stay on task until the end and then I get completion grief or whatever and I end up stalling on the last chapter. Which isn't great. It's a much better idea for me to finish drafting the thing before I start posting, though I did have several projects while in my Drarry days that had a very punishing schedule and that I was super on top of all the way to the end. I'm proud of those.

Which fic are you most proud of?

In the ST fandom, it's In My Heart of Hearts. I'm all my fandoms, it's my Merlin BBC epic, Dower the Stars. Sometimes I can't believe I wrote that.

How did you get the idea for Rebellion in Your Back Pocket?

Let me come right out and say it: I'm in the Canon Eddie Is A Virgin camp. In the beginning, I read so many fics featuring Eddie as a worldly sex god, and they were fantastic, I loved them. But when I think about Eddie, I see a lot of my high school self in him: confident for show but with a tendency to endlessly pick at and overthink things. I too had a small but intimate friend group and a propensity for focused nerdiness. I see Eddie, a gay kid in the 80s American Midwest, as super curious about sex but without much opportunity for practical application, and perhaps a little fear of it. On top of that, he clearly uses his own infamy as a shield against the people who don't like him, which means any rumors about him essentially become his weapons. So RiYBP came out of the idea of Eddie finally getting with his long-time crush who also happens to be notoriously good in bed, and he's absolutely forgotten to clear up the misunderstanding that he himself is not knowledgeable AT ALL about sex, and then him digging himself deeper while trying to find a way out of it. I truly feel this is a pickle that Eddie Munson would get himself into, and I adore him for it.

When writing Rebellion in Your Back Pocket, what was something you didn’t expect?

The mix tape chapter! I had Eddie's planned very early on, but at the urging of my beta to give more substance to the nonsexual side of their relationship, I got to thinking about Steve and what he would have on a playlist, and wow, just... That scene in Steve’s car and all the angst and beauty and growth that came out of it by the end of the fic was a complete and welcome surprise. Also I was surprised by how much I loved writing Wayne overhearing Steve and Eddie in the trailer. Omg, #prayforwayne, that man is a saint and the perfect Dad Troll to combat Eddie's dramatics.

What inspired In My Heart of Hearts?

The origins of this one are very personal for me. I am gray-ace, and bi, living in a world that focuses extremely heavily on sex: having it, losing one's virginity, being judged by how little or often you do it… I'd been wanting to write Eddie as a rock star for a while, and also to write Eddie as gray-ace, and this fic blossomed out of that. I read a Stony fic once where Tony was actually ace and had never in his life defined that for himself, and it was so touching. I wanted to capture that essence with Eddie, a celebrity constantly beleaguered by sexual propositions from strangers and not wanting any of it, PLUS the general loneliness that sometimes comes with being on the ace spectrum, and the helplessness of being in love with an allosexual person but not knowing how to ever make that work. I wanted to explore the fact that it can and does work, and that in spite of what society tells us, being ace does not require compromising yourself in order to be happy and fulfilled, and loved.

What was your favorite part to write from The Nightly Stroll?

Hopper’s POV. Getting in his head was so cool. And then Hopper and Eddie's snarking. Please, can I just have a fic with them stuck in a car together, pleasepleaseplease. Hopper's eye-rolly exasperation and short fuse paired with Eddie's derisive sass and well-honed needling skills. The potential there is overflowing, and then to push it up against Steve’s relationship with Hopper and have that protectiveness extend suddenly to Eddie was very nice. I also really enjoyed exploring El and Hopper’s relationship through Hopper’s eyes. He really loves that kid. And Steve lunging out of the car to defend his man. There’s not much about that fic that I don’t love, actually…

How do/did you feel writing Don't Cry For Me, Next Door Neighbor?

Now that one was a surprise venture into ace character exploration. I was writing the scene of fratboy!Steve encountering the enigma of Eddie at a party, and all of a sudden, here's Steve telling me, hey, btw, I'm asexual. I went with it full throttle and this series took off. It truly is a joy to write. I love letting these characters be who they are without the impending threat of death by interdimensional beast and I love finding ways to incorporate pieces of canon into the modern college setting. It's challenging to write, especially since Steve in this one is not gray-ace like me but much closer to full-on asexual, though recently someone commented on one of the stories with the term "recipromantic", and I'd never heard of that. So I'm learning new things every day.

What was the most difficult part of writing Accidentally Absconding With An Impulsive Idiot: A Tale Told In Thirty Parts?

Probably the fact that it was only meant to be one damn scene! Not that I don't adore what came of it, but initially the idea birthed from the snapshot of Eddie taking off one day and Steve getting there just in time to keep him from going alone. And I really should know better because I cannot write anything brief to save my life. Always gotta explore the backstory/repercussions/development. *eyeroll*

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN just kidding. But also kind of not? I don't know that I could choose an absolute favorite. A few scenes that bring me true happiness, however, are Wayne overhearing Eddie and Steve in Rebellion in Your Back Pocket (literally, that fic should be titled “Here, Eddie, Have Seven Chapters of Mortifying Moments, You’re Welcome”, and who better than Wayne to totally yank his chain?), Eddie's climactic confession to Steve in In My Heart of Hearts (he broke my heart with how broken open he was and how much he laid himself bare in that moment), and the car scene in To Cleanse the Palate (I just let them get real hot and heavy and monstrously in love, and it was great).

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Well, fortunately for me because I am head over heels all over again, but unfortunately for all my Steddie readers, I recently tumbled ass over teakettle into The Untamed. For the time being, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying have stolen my tragic-romantic's soul. No, seriously, you don't even get it, I binged the 50-ep live action, bought all the novels, and got myself a bunch of swag while fighting off a two-week-long mystery flu (I'm calling it Influenza Aftershock, rock on, my friends), and am currently trying to talk myself out of picking up the manhua too. (Let's not even discuss the animated series.) But I am not done with Steddie by any means—just taking a breather—so please keep a watch for more Tubthumper and a return to Only A Spark to Light My Way (aka, the Lost Boys Steddie fic) in the near future. I'm also just saw Gladiator II, which will likely plunge me back into the Roman-Britain AU Steddie series I'm writing with patientanxiety. So keep an eye out for those!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Only this: Thank you so, so much for thinking of me! These are great questions and I’m really glad I got to participate.

Thank you to our author, @Thegertie, and our anonymous nominator! See more of RurouniHime's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #steddieunderdogfics #writer's spotlight #writer's wednesday #ao3 writer #steddie writers

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mcybree · 6 months ago

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now I'm curious, as someone who has little to no opinion on the matter, what you consider your Beastlife Character's positive traits to be

OTHER BEASTS DO NOT PROCEED !!! CHARACTER METAGAME SPOILERS AHEAD !!! i will CURSE YOU with the DEVILS PLAGUE!!!

this website’s hate mail game is insane

I will answer this if i ever come up with something. I am literally looking up lists of positive traits on the internet. Tom said “unique” and like man i fucking???? guess???????

tbf breature’s self esteem is kind of in the negatives as of s4, so of course ooc im going to have a hard time pinpointing anything, as ooc perceptions do greatly influence a character’s perceptions of themselves.

There is, at the very least, a charisma. People will follow me around and hear me out to their own detriment. I often end up leading groups on accident, likely because I’m always going from one clear-cut goal to the next and other people will naturally want to tag along… I guess “driven” is a trait? I don’t think I’ve used this for one good thing so far though LMAO

tbh i think ME, irl bree, highly values a handful of traits and breature has sort of become an opponent of all of them.

i think, before the s3 alien conspiracy bullshit, there was a lot there. That was a well rounded individual. She had flaws but she wasn’t all flaws. But, at her lowest, she became the worst version of herself, and thennnn bc of the isolationist nature of the second season, almost all of her first impressions on other people happened when she was her worst version. So now it’s like she’s defined by this two dimensional parody. Everyone sees her as her worst version + she only knows how to interact with people as that worst version + most of her time alive in these games was as her worst version so she identifies with it = i am somewhat locked in to being horrible forevwr. despite being past what caused that spiral in the first place

like she has got to be one of the most hated ppl on beastlife I’ll be real LMAOOOOO in the two full seasons ive played ive been mourned Once. and it was by the guy i purposefully ruined the life of bc she has an unhealthy attachment towards me that i took advantage of at least three times. If that gives you any idea just how much I piss people off (and this is a server where most deaths are commemorated in one way or another, like it’s fairly culturally important)

sorry for the rant I’d say “i just love my fucking animal” but i really dont. bro is hated by her creator can you believe it… i do love doodling her badly in mspaint though ☝️

#asks #beastlife #This is rlly funny if a beast sent this ask in btw…. Here’s my answer! No you cant read it #but uh. hm. before the oku alien bullshit i was at the very least loving. So there’s that!

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rosesradio · 5 months ago

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hsmtmts fic masterpost

if hsmtmts really is having a renaissance (or the same 10 people are back in the tag, my beloveds), i thought i would share a little post for my fics on ao3 <33

i have portwell, portbowell, & caswen—fluff, angst, & smut, feel free to peruse the wares 💌

portwell (ej/gina)

reconciliation: fingers crossed (rose's version) 2k | fluff

It was odd, this playful bickering game they played, never knowing where the limits were. EJ, her ex-boyfriend, calling her cute...that seemed like a limit.

But Gina kinda liked that. She was never one to play by the rules.

A collection of drabbles set in my "Gina and EJ are next door neighbors and reconcile after their break up at camp" universe.

portbowell (ej/gina/ricky ot3)

who said anybody would? 23.5k | fluff | angst | coming-of-age

When EJ gets a voicemail from his father days after the show, asking him to visit the Caswell Success School, he has mixed feelings.

This is Gina’s first ever romantic road trip. To be honest, her entire life has been a road trip, so she’s not that excited to be getting back in the car again.

Ricky doesn’t want to go to Chicago, but he doesn’t want to stand around at a gas station on the edge of town, either.

or: if i could make a short film on how i'd get portbowell together post-s3, it would go a little something like this.

caswen (ej/ricky)

talk to me, deep in the night (& i'd tell you something i never thought i'd admit) 2k | hurt-comfort

"Hey," Ricky's voice spoke up again, reprimanding as a hand came over his script, and Ricky was pulling it away. "I've seen you pour over this thing too much. It's killing you, man, just give it a rest. The rehearsal went really well today, remember?"

EJ felt a white-hot bolt of anger flash through him for a second, and felt the urge to jerk his script back, to yell at Ricky to go away. But he couldn't, not when it seemed Ricky actually cared for him.

"Yeah?" he asked instead, bleary and soft, looking up at Ricky.

the summer after high school 1k | suggestive

EJ was a sight to beat all others—his hair was starting to dry from when he’d taken a dive earlier. He insisted that he hadn’t needed sunglasses, and the way his eyes narrowed in the brightness gave him a surprisingly rugged look. His shoulders looked even more broad without a shirt, and his abs, well…

Or: the summer after high school brings out a new curiosity within Ricky, one that fixates a bit too long on EJ when he’s not wearing a shirt.

tell me, shouldn't everybody feel like this? 7k | fluffy smut

The night of Ricky's eighteenth birthday was winding down, and everything had gone perfectly. He crossed every single thing off his list, and now he was done...sort of.

Ricky pulled a second list from the pocket of his sweatpants, looking over his new list of goals. EJ curiously glanced up from his phone—which he'd gotten early, a total abuse of his CIT privileges—and grinned.

"You're not seriously still looking at that list, are you? I thought you did everything." EJ said.

"I did," Ricky replied. "This is a new list, Elton. My Complete-Before-I-Turn-Twenty-One list. Much shorter. Much more exciting."

o romeo, romeo, wherefore art thou romeo? 7k | smut

"Character work, right?" Ricky asked breathlessly, half a genuine question, half to be a smartass.

EJ nodded, kissing him again, sparing no beginning gentleness, no sparkling layer of untruth. It was honest and hungry, so much so that Ricky felt a slight pain on impact, but he couldn't care. He gripped his shirt and kissed him back, finally understanding why Juliet had wanted to marry Romeo so achingly quickly.

#hsmtmts #portwell #portbowell #caswen #ej caswell #gina porter #ricky bowen #this will probably go in my pinned web somehow it took me a minute #pls let me know if you read any of these :')

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raayllum · 6 months ago

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got tagged in the wip game by a few people w/ the challenge to tag someone for all your wips! however i have over 50+ wips / just oneshots planned (not including multipchap) so i'm just gonna share like my top 10 and then call it a day!

oneshots:

a different man / mirror traps: Lissa comes back to Katolis for her daughter’s wedding and meets her husband’s ghost. Or the "Lissa meets Callum" fic, probably a sorta sequel to this fic

providence: post-s5 divergent. A spell gone wrong traps Callum inside the mirror with Aaravos.

the goal of living is to grow: After a love contained only to chaos and summers, Rayla and Callum experience the other seasons side by side. post-s6, planned to be like 20k, Rayla/Callum

just stand still: In Katolis, you come of age at sixteen; Ezran just misses his dad.

mama's boys: Sarai's sons grow up without her. Ezran&Callum

blinded: Miyana, and the Sunfire royal family. Miyana/Karim

nine days: It takes nine days for Harrow and Viren to reach the Storm Spire. Set pre-series and 3x06. Viren/Harrow

i asked you to be human: AU where Kasef makes different choices in s3, and lives.

being this young is art: Servants talk. Callum/Rayla dealing with court gossip

great responsiblity: Modern AU. Ezran is bitten by a radioactive spider when he’s fourteen years old. Trio & Ezran centric

why is it a monster: Ezran finds the mirror first. Canon divergent

multi-chap

virtues and vices: Slowly but surely, Soren and Opeli find their way. Soren/Opeli, 9 chapters

i did one thing right: Supporters of Viren’s ‘royal’ line were not so easily deterred, and now a twenty-year old Ezran has a choice to make: to either allow civil war, or to marry the old friend turned enemy threatening to topple his throne (the shadowy elf whispering in her ear notwithstanding). ? chapters, divergent post-s3, aged up Claudia/Ezran slowburn

sequel to "if time is money" (about 20ish chapters) scheduled for more focus post-s6 (Rayla and Tiadrin centric with a heavy serving of Runaan and Ethari)

#as you can tell i like my post canons and my canon divergences so so much #upcoming #thanks for tagging me #crack canon quartet #my fic

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elegantsplendour · 2 years ago

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Comfort Shows

(Inspired by comfort movies tag game)

Rules: post 10 of your favorite comfort tv series and then tag 10 people.

The Vampire Diaries (Damon 😩Katherine 😈Stefan 😘Elena🥺Klaus🥵)

The Originals (MARCEL, HAYLEY>>>>>>>>>)

House of Cards (Frank + Claire my marriage goal. But Claire was so out of character in S3… she’s supposed to be ruthless… my interpretation for her outburst at the Kremlin is that she wanted to start gaining her own support for an eventual run for office…)

House of the Dragon (DUH)

Games of Thrones (Still in S 5!! I started hotd before got)

Gossip Girl (Serena Van der Woodsen >>>>)

Money Heist (NAIROBI AND BERLIN)

Nirvana in Fire (One of my fav C dramas!!! Hurts so fucking much! “The country belongs to the people who live in it.” “It is not because I was born heartless, but once you’re seated on this throne, it will change you one way or another. The very court Lin Xie wanted, the country that he so desired, I couldn’t give it to him, neither could have Prince Qi.”

Secret History of the Empress Wu (C drama. I am so in love with this. Pls don’t delete the English subs. “But I have a formal name, your grace. Wu Zhao. I created this character myself, it means the the sun and the moon illuminating the world for eternity.” SHE IS MEANT TO BE EMPRESS!!! Ok killing her baby daughter is 😳)

The 100 (LONG LIVE COMMANDER LEXA KOM TRIKRU) (Kane: Your choices have consequences. Pike and Octavia in the arena in s 5 was a masterpiece)

@purple-writer8 @boundlessfantasy @qyburnsghost @xcharlottemikaelsonx @multyfangirl @accidentalslayer @cocowritesstuff @bellameshipper

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beevean · 7 months ago

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I remembered a post I stumbled upon a while ago. It was a gifset of that moment in NFCV where Carmilla strokes Hector's hair and says "You are mine now, Forgemaster. You have nothing else but me."

But what really made my neurons go into overdrive was the way the person tagged the post.

"I am not yours. I am not anyone's. - Hector & Carmilla"

Would you believe that this one singular line made my brain fire up like fireworks? This is a brilliant way to convey the parallels between the two characters! Well. The potential parallels, since Carmilla is hardly relevant after S2 :^)

It made me think of how the story would have gone if they kept Carmilla as Hector's antagonist and Lenore and the other two were never introduced. (when you think about it, Lenore's main purpose in S3 was effectively hijacking Carmilla's place: while I prefer her concept, narratively speaking she shouldn't exist. I'm not even being mean when I say it. In a hypothetical rewrite, I'd fuse the two characters)

I found some Hectilla fics, mostly written pre-S3 when fans still believed she'd have a bigger role. Needless to say, they're mostly BDSM porn built on a generic dommy mommy/subby puppy dynamic: while Hector's attraction to Carmilla can be explained with anything from "she's hot and charming" to "she's the only one who makes sense in the court and the only one who cares about my work", no such depth is given to Carmilla. She likes Hector because... he's pathetic and breedable.

So, I propose another angle.

If the ideal Lenector that only exists in my head is built on lies, treachery, and shared misery with a hint of growing mutual empathy that nevertheless never allows them to overcome their resentment... the ideal Hectilla is built on fear. They are both afraid of each other, but need each other for their needs. They are also both afraid of the world, it's just that they react to that fear in different ways: Carmilla by attacking first, Hector by hiding and fawning.

And making Carmilla a creature of fear would make her so, so much more interesting, and allow her to be a real visceral victim of trauma and not just a flat radfem stereotype. A lot of what I say here is inspired by this brilliant post by @chumpovodir!

Carmilla sees every man as a potential threat. An old man turned her and kept her as a pet, showed her that "vampiric love" that she has internalized but despises when it comes from men, and other men attacked her kingdom to destroy everything she built, and other men wanted her to die because, well, the nerve of that woman, thinking she could be in charge. She finds Dracula disgusting for being, in her eyes, like that old man who ruined her life, an insane destructive leech good for nothing. She loathes power-hungry men, violent men, men who think they're in charge and can toy her as they please.

Hector is the opposite of that. He doesn't crave any power: he wants to be left in peace. He craves, as it becomes immediately clear to her, acceptance. He's easily swayed with a few nice words, and even when Dracula dies, he holds no malice in his heart.

He's young. He's cute. He's a useful idiot.

The broken little girl in her still sees him a threat, because one day, he might grow up and become a real man, with their fangs and claws and thirst for power.

But - and this is the important part - the threat is now curbable. Hector placed himself in her hands, and she has the power to do with him as she pleases.

Carmilla has put herself in the position of that old man enslaving a cute girl for his sick desires. However, she thinks she's justified. It's not cruelty: it's preemptive self-defense. She can make this dirty almost-man into a docile puppy who will never hurt her, and work for her, and give her pleasure, never pain.

He can be a prized possession, because he is smart and knowledgeable and has blasphemous powers and shares the same goal of turning humans into livestock. This man deserves to live, for now. As long as he never thinks of harming her. As long as he remains a puppy forever. As long as he's hers, because only she deserves to have stuff and other people.

Carmilla takes pride in not belonging to anyone, let alone a man, but she doesn't see the irony in forcing Hector to the same fate that traumatized her. She doesn't see herself in him, because she did nothing to deserve pain, but he does, for the sin of being born the same gender as all the people who hurt her.

Perhaps she refuses to see herself in him, because the thought disgusts her too much.

But what about Hector?

Well, at first he'd cling onto Carmilla, because what else is he supposed to do? Sure, she tricked him and beat him to a pulp to assert dominance, but she still needs him, and her plans still make sense to him, and part of him still wants to hope that when she praised his skills, she meant it, even if in a selfish way. For a while, she becomes his world - a cruel world, but a stable one.

But then... it will become his turn to claim that he's not hers, he's not anyone's.

Perhaps he'll use his parents as reference. He used to be afraid of them, and resentful for making him believe he should have never been born, and eventually he killed them in retailation. Carmilla, too, terrifies him, but because she swings from saccharine praise to violent rage. So there's hope to get the former, if he plays nice. And if he gets the latters, that means he deserved it, right? And besides, she finds him useful, right? Isn't that, too, appreciation? That is why, at first, he accepts his position.

When she put that collar on him, wasn't that her way of showing love? He understands that. He is still, at his core, that abused kid who looks up to authority figures who see him as dirt.

But she also hates him for something he had no control over, just like his parents. She fears him for no rational reason, and that fear clouds all judgment. She could turn on him at any moment. She's no better than Dracula in this regard. Carmilla is far less rational than she pretends to be, and eventually, as he's forced to be with her, he'll see that behind the mask of a confident predator, hides the heart of a frightful bird with a broken wing.

He'd see himself in her, and he wouldn't like it. He doesn't want to be feared at all, let alone for something he can't do anything about, and he doesn't want to belong to such a volatile person. That could set him to the thought path that'll lead him to desire freedom: most importantly, freedom from his traumatic past.

Perhaps, at some point, Hector would even hate Carmilla for what she does to him, fantasize about killing her and all. Then he'll realize that hatred, too, poisoned Carmilla to the point that she almost became pitiable. And hatred also poisoned Dracula to the point of making him irrational. He must avoid falling into the same trap.

Ideally, if Carmilla is doomed to become prey of her fear and hatred, Hector should find the strength to break free of his own, and learn to face the world.

i hate doing the showrunners' work for free :(

#castlevania #hectilla #hector castlevania #carmilla castlevania #carmilla thoughts #<- for my reference #there is nothing worse than missed potential #not tagging this as anti because while it is a big rewrite that comes from spite it might interest other people #no i don't know how the rest of the story would go yet #i just wanted to think about the potential dynamic and mirrored story #i guess i feel the need for toxic abusive straight ships lmao

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melcavills · 5 months ago

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theory time

(i’ve not watched the entirety of season 4, i’m kinda following the airing schedule so i’m on 4.08, so if you do know how it ends please don’t leave any spoilers or hints in the comments or tags)

we know the gemini compound is gonna practically make the earth radioactive, and the goal is to prevent nima from launching it in the atmosphere.

from some promos we do know that one rocket does appear to be launched (which is the type of too-spoilery thing that really shouldn’t be included in any promotional material, as visually cool as it may look, but whatever atp it’s the least we can expect from this season).

i’m pretty sure though the whole point about the soldiers stealing snowpiercer was so that they could launch multiple rockets across the earth.

so here’s the point: in episode 4.08, while talking to alex, nima refers to it as the rocket, singular, which is kinda confusing considering the whole premise of it all.

all this to say i’m gonna be really fucking pissed if they actually make it so that that one single rocket is gonna be everyone’s doom. also because they could’ve had nima finish the compound and launch it from the silo without any need for the train if it’s so powerful that only one’s gonna be enough to cover the whole atmosphere.

not to mention that if they took my perfect happy s3 series finale away just to give me some kind of moralizing tragic “everyone dies because of humanity’s carelessness about climate change and its hubris thinking they could cheat their way into fixing it somehow”-bullshit istg… i don’t even have the words to express how cheap it would be, so tragically so that it could go all the way around and be hilarious to watch honestly.

if they were smarter than i think they are they would probably make it so that new eden won’t be inhabitable anymore so they’ll all have to go off on the trains again, facing the uncertainty of an increasingly damaged train and tracks (which could have also been a viable ending point if they thought they were gonna have more seasons like i’ve been told they did, but idk if they went back and rewrote a definitive ending upon learning that it was actually the final season).

#snowpiercer #snowpiercer spoilers #snowpiercer tv #snowpiercer season 4

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 11 months ago

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yeah my tl;dr opinion on the second billboard is that it’s gonna have very little impact on making us more visible and probably very little direct impact on our chances of getting renewed, but if it makes some ppl feel like they’re doing something then i don’t rlly care bc it’s not my money. that being said, i’m a little worried that the second billboard might end up hurting the general ofmd fandom’s morale more than helping.

elaboration under the cut bc this shit got long

so the ofmd fandom has already caught the attention of the media, we have new articles being written about us pretty frequently. hbo/wbd is also facing a lot of public backlash for their continuous cancellation of tv shows, especially diverse shows, AND they are specifically getting a lot of shit abt refusing to sell coyote v acme. they have a lot of money to gain via tax write-offs from shelving thay movie and refusing to sell, but refusing to sell ofmd isn’t gonna make them that kind of money. so public pressure + financial incentive combined, there’s a pretty good chance of wbd selling ofmd to another studio.

ironing out a deal with netflix/apple tv/amazon+ is gonna take time tho. from a fandom perspective, it’s already been be a very long, very demoralizing waiting game, and personally i would be surprised if we’re even halfway through it.

so there are two things at play when it comes to the fandom giving djenks et al the best chance of securing the best deal for this show: maintaining visibility and maintaining fandom morale. obviously visibility is more directly affecting the negotiations, but morale is important in keeping as many ppl in the fandom active as we can during this gravy basket of a waiting period.

so the question is, how does the second billboard serve those goals? will it maintain or increase our visibility? will it boost fandom morale?

before i get into the second billboard tho, i wanna talk abt the first billboard.

i think we can all agree that the nyt billboard boosted morale: cast and crew were posting about it, djenks shared a selfie in front of it, the energy on ofmdtwt and in discord servers and here on tumblr was very hopeful and excited. it was an emotional high point that i think we’re all kinda missing as the weeks drag on and we approach the two-month mark since the cancellation.

but did the nyt billboard increase or maintain our visibility? more specifically, did it increase or maintain our visibility to a degree that was proportionate to the amount of money spent?

i’ll be honest, i don’t know the answer to that one. i don’t know much about advertising or about tracking ROI for things like billboards and flyover banners. i think, though, that any significant increase in visibility came not from the billboard itself, but from the social media response to the billboard. the excitement of seeing cast and crew talking abt the billboard had us all hyped up and posting/tweeting in our excitement, and that got us trending. the livestream of the billboard probably had an increase in viewership, which i’m sure is something that gets tracked somewhere. and i’m also sure wbd execs were aware of the billboard, and djenks tagging netflix, apple, and amazon means those executives were definitely made aware of it, too

but i’m doubtful abt how much the nyt billboard raised our visibility outside of a few ppl in the streaming/entertainment industry and outside of the ofmd fandom. there were already articles being written about us by that point—did any publications decide to write more articles abt the renewal campaign directly because of the billboard? did the campaign for s3 reach the general public? did site traffic to the petition actually increase? did anyone on the streets of new york or LA actually follow the link/qr code/whatever to learn more about what was being advertised?

on twitter, at least one person who had been supportive of the renewal efforts and who claimed to have relevant industry experience said that the return-on-investment from the billboard/truck/flyover was shockingly small, meaning that for the amount of money that was spent, we should have received more site traffic, more social media buzz, more mainstream awareness than what we got. this is not me saying the ofmd fandom was scammed—the people who donated money were told what the money was going to be used for, and the money was used exactly as promised. but the criticism was that if the goal was to increase our visibility, perhaps the money could’ve been spent differently.

so that’s the nyt billboard: successful at raising morale, unclear exactly how effective it was at increasing visibility. now for the london billboard, located on the vue cinema on leicester square

first, a few things about the site of the london billboard: the ad space being purchased is not, as i have seen claimed, on a hugely iconic billboard and venue. arguably, it is not even located on leicester square. the giant billboard is on a budget movie theater that is right off the corner of leicester square. people have been confusing the vue theater with the odeon theater, which is an iconic landmark in the middle of leicester square where movie premiers happen and where many tourists stop to take pictures. from what i’ve seen (and heard from various uk fans), the foot traffic by the vue theater is not really comparable to the foot traffic at the location of the first billboard.

so, billboard 2 and visibility. the question of if this billboard increases visibility of the campaign, whether that be via successfully advertising to the people walking by or via generating social media buzz.

the thing with the foot traffic issue is i’m honestly not sure how much of a boon the high amount of foot traffic was to the first billboard. bc honestly, how many pedestrians pay attention to billboards enough to actually check out the thing that’s being advertised? probably not very many, hence why there was criticisms that the billboard yielded a low ROI. if there was any increase in our visibility externally (by which i mean, not within studios or within the industry, and not within the fandom and other ppl already aware of the existence of the renewal campaign), it most likely came primarily from articles and social media buzz.

i personally am doubtful that the second billboard is gonna generate the same kind of attention online. the location is less flashy than the first one, david jenkins probably isn’t gonna fly over to london to take a selfie with it, and simply the fact that it’s a second billboard is gonna decrease the energy in how ppl respond to it. like, we already did this in a very famous tourist location. now we’re doing it again, only it’s around the corner from a different, slightly less famous tourist location. the surprise and excitement we saw from the cast and crew will inherently be lessened when we pull the same trick twice. that might also extend to media coverage—how many times do we think journalists are gonna cover the same media stunt pulled by the same general group of people? there is a possibility that the answer to that is only once.

but, to be fair, i did say that visibility was only one part of the equation. the other important thing was morale and keeping the fandom’s energy up, something that is going to get harder and harder the more time passes without us hearing any news.

a second billboard is definitely one way of tackling that issue. fans can meet up at the billboard, post selfies with it, hang out. it’s kind of a cool thing, to see a huge sign on a billboard and know that it was a bunch of passionate fans put it there. and we already know that the first billboard had everyone pumped. more than increasing visibility, maybe this is the primary goal of the second billboard: to hype up the fandom.

i worry, though, that it’s not going to hype up the fandom in the way people are hoping for. like i said, i doubt we’re going to see the same outpouring of excitement from cast and crew that we did the first time around—even already some of the actors have said to the fandom that it’s not worth it for us to spend our money this way. and even within the wider ofmd fandom itself, i would not be surprised if fans just aren’t as excited by this second billboard simply because it’s the second billboard. already, it seems to me like ofmd fans who aren’t directly contributing to the renewal campaign aren’t responding as enthusiastically to this billboard as they did the first one—there’s a question of why it’s necessary, what it’s going to accomplish. so a less encouraging response to this billboard might make a lot of people feel disheartened, disappointed.

and christ, that’s not even mentioning the fact that that almost every time this fandom is trending, there’s a wave of “ofmd fans kys” sentiment that is quick to follow. i have long ago accepted that suicide baiting as a regular part of my internet experience, but most people have not (and frankly, they shouldn’t). a lot of people just will stop posting about ofmd if they get attacked for doing so. if that happens, it is 100% going to negatively impact the renewal campaign and our chances of getting picked up by a different studio.

even if none of this happens, even if the morale is boosted tenfold by the new billboard, i just feel like there are other ways to keep the energy up without crowdfunding ridiculous amounts of money. we already have samba gradually doling out bts content in tiny doses and catapulting us through the roof with each one. i’m also a fan of what AdoptOurCrew is doing on twitter, sharing articles and info and coming up with silly little games to play with their followers. it’s not a huge stunt like a billboard, and it’s not gonna get us on the front page of a huge pop culture publication, but we already have a pretty consistent stream coming in of articles mentioning ofmd and the renewal effort. also, yes, what aoc is doing is not the huge adrenaline high of the nyt billboard, but this is gonna be a marathon, not a sprint. there are a lot of ofmd fans, so if we just keep the general fandom feeling reasonably good abt posting ofmd content, that’s more than enough to keep our online presence consistent enough that studios will know we’re invested in that s3. but if we keep chasing highs we’re gonna burn out fast—at the very least just bc ppl are gonna run out of cash.

that’s what my concern comes down to, really: the money. because to me, the use of actual real-world money should go towards boosting visibility, and boosting morale can come from simply engaging in the fandom, doing fun projects, spreading positivity. and i am very, very doubtful that this second billboard is going to increase the show’s visibility to people who aren’t already aware of ofmd and what’s going on with the renewal. i understand that the idea was to capitalize on s2 airing on the bbc–a good idea, but if the intention is to reach this new audience, shouldn’t the ads should go somewhere they’re going to be more visible, more inescapable? the underground would’ve been a good choice, imo, bc the cell service down there sucks and ppl have no choice but to stare at the walls while they wait for the train. but this might have been less effective at boosting morale, because it’s less flashy and a significantly worse place for fans to meet up. so it’s about what the priority is here: is the money primarily for boosting morale, or boosting visibility?

like i said, i think prioritizing morale-boosting is the wrong choice. and even if that wasn’t the intention, i think that’s the only thing that’s gonna be affected in any way by the billboard. but like, that’s why i didn’t donate to the crowdfunding for this billboard (or to the first one tbh). bc ppl can spend their money however they want, even if i think it’s a waste. currently the average donation to the SaveOFMD ko-fi is abt £34, or $40. i’m not gonna get that worked up over a few hundred strangers online spending $40 for something i think is a waste. ppl spend all sorts of money on stuff i think is a waste. who cares.

if everything backfires and the billboard ends up hurting the renewal campaign then… idk. i hope if it blows up into drama that the drama gets to be funny, at least.

#ofmd #save ofmd #txt #mine #og #ofmd fandom crit

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glitterarygetsit · 10 months ago

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Further 911 observations, about halfway through s4:

- hello everyone who followed me because of my post at from the start of s3. you are all very lovely and the number of times that post has been tagged with “you’ve got a big storm coming” strikes fear into my heart

- i like that you call it the weewoo show, that’s adorable

- with most shows only a week or two passes in-universe between episodes at most, but 911 will timeskip from one trauma to another one months later so you don’t have to waste time on any of that “healing” and “having a normal time” nonsense. excellent choice, no notes.

- shoutout to the little kid playing christopher because he’s genuinely great

- sad dad bobby has captivated me. i am very biased because six feet under was deeply formative for me, but i love how he looks like the dullest man alive but is actually deeply weird. stress baking. hall monitor vibes while lying to conceal his secret past. guilt-ridden and making dark jokes to his priest. SO damaged. no. 1 wife guy to athena. former child figure skating champion. i love him.

- you know what? shannon did nothing wrong. past eddie sucks and left her literally holding the baby with next to no support. justice4shannon.

- i don’t think these people should all be going to the same therapist, but okay

- chim and maddie!! chim and maddieeeee!! god i love that maddie just locked onto chim like a short king-seeking missile. they are extremely hashtag goals.

- also really appreciate that buck didn’t no homo at josh suggesting that maddie might be trying to set them up (“if he didn’t know better” c’mon josh you were hoping. unfortunately you’re like three seasons too early.) he’s very good at being bi but not knowing it yet :)

- eddie was SO desperate to get in that hole. makes you think.

- the guy playing buck is SO good at looking devastated. men, what’s stopping you from looking like this? *holds up a picture of buck clawing at the sodden ground with his bare hands while out of his mind with grief and panic*

- feeling v smug because i guessed the buckley family secret like an episode and a half before the reveal with only the hint “everyone knows except for him”

- samba schutte!?!

- to reiterate: *holds up a picture of evan buckley in emotional agony* you may not like it but is what peak male performance looks like

- top five dangers of being a firefighter ranked in descending order: 5) fire, 4) hostage situations, 3) Getting Crushed By Stuff, 2) tsunamis and other water-based peril, 1) repressed homosexuality

#911 abc

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dangermousie · 2 years ago

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Farscape rewatch ep 2x09: Out of their Minds

One of my faves and is a rare just plain hilarious ep which is just pretty wild and joyful, though even it manages to have that little heartbreaking moment with D’Argo and Pilot and it’s very on brand that logical talking solves nothing for Zhaan and she has to resort to violence.

But yeah, it’s a very hard ep to discuss, almost as hard to write about as it is fun to watch because what is there to analyze in a goofy, crazy ep where everyone switches bodies?

Of course, it says something that for the Moya crew, switching bodies with each other while on a ship about to be blasted to pieces counts as a good day. In a way it’s parallel to S1’s ‘Through the Looking Glass:’ near death and craziness and off-kilter stuff with a happy ending and we know the angst is about to hit, with the Gammak base and torture. (The same happens in S3. After the lovely, hilarious LoMo ep, it’s all angst from there. S4 doesn’t have that as the whole thing is pretty grim).

Lots of caps and long so behind read more...

I think OOTM is a wonderful acting ep: the actors must be having a blast and they are pulling off a really difficult feat, acting like each other, and they do it brilliantly. Ben Browder gets Rygel’s intonations down pat, Claudia Black’s imitation of Crichton’s guy mannerisms and the thumb to the mouth is awesome. And Anthony Simcoe’s body posture is spot-on Chiana.

Another thing I love about this ep is that reactions of the characters are so spot on about what they would do in other people’s bodies but most shows would never go there: Rygel in John’s body needing to use the facilities, John in Aeryn’s body ‘trying out the equipment’ (I love that scene) etc etc. And of course, this ep reconfirms that Moyans listen to John more than to anyone else. Zhaan refuses to follow the plan to change them all back, until she thinks it comes from John (in reality Rygel in John’s body). Though Rygel does show unexpected depths when he talks about revenge being his goal. We forget often that he is a former Dominar, but he is. Hmmm, what else. Zhaan once again proves compassionate but ruthless when necessary. The ending is awesome. One of the funniest, most perfect ones. Chiana and D’Argo finally deciding to get it on:

Love D being bashful and Chi teasing and the dawning look of comprehension on John’s eyes as he watches him running after her.

And ohhh, the sheer joy of the bit with John pretending to still be Rygel and then going ‘joke, Aeryn’ and she jumps on him and they wheel around the floor, laughing. So much giddy joy.

But yes, as I mentioned I so love that when characters switch bodies, the show brings up the stuff shows normally do not but would totally happen. Like Rygel needing to pee while in Crichton’s body and having no idea how and Crichton (in Aeryn’s body) having to walk him through it. Hilarious but also no other show would go there.

And the way the two of them get to play with each other’s bodies in a way neither probably thought they would. First we have Crichton in Aeryn’s body spellbound by boobs - they jiggle. Ahahahahaha. And then feeling them up as Aeryn in Rygel’s body watches irascibly. This show was WILD.

And of course, they are equal in body curiousity as we see in one of the best tags ever. Crichton saying ‘You gotta walk a mile in someone’s shoes’ and Aeryn replying wryly that she knew what he was doing when he was in her shoes (feeling her up) and his grinning ‘give me a break’ and then her sly little comment that it’s OK ‘you were in my shoes, I was in your pants…’ and his laughing and running after her and just…joy.

I always wondered what the status of their physical relationship before Look at the Princess was. I do think A Human Reaction was a one-off sex thing, but they do seem very comfortable with each other - I bet they are in the not saying or thinking anything on the conscious level (at least Aeryn is only subconsciously thinking about it; John is clearly way more attuned) but giddy stage and it’s so lovely...

#farscape

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fymagnificentwomcn · 1 year ago

Text

I still have plenty to say on the topic, so bear with me, the original link is here, it would be too much there I think.

Anyway thank you Sol @palaceoftears for these tags that succinctly sum up the main point of the original post, let's bring them as starting point here:

#joanna you ate this!!! missed reading you#truly love how deeply you analyzed that confronting suleyman IS confronting the system!#also the freeing aspect because like freedom doesn't have to mean happiness?#yes ofc hurrem wouldn't be happy knowing ultimately suleyman didn't love her & her children over himself#but it's still freeing to not live yout whole life brainwashed lol?#like I never get how ppl that loves her watch her going from 'i'll kill the sultan' & 'don't treat us as animals' to dependant on suleyman#and just go 'happy ending :D' about it#mahidevran sultan#hurrem sultan#sultan suleiman#magnificent century#muhtesem yuzyil

You know how much I dislike Surrem, but I absolutely get people shipping it without getting it like "happy in love" (huge kudos to my sis Tisha) since it's an extremely complicated, mutually toxic relationship, while yes they do love each other at same time. But they are both each other's heaven and hell simultaneously throughout the whole show, with Hürrem being in worse position due to power imbalance. Power imbalance that never fully goes away. He might also be dependent on her in emotional way since he himself comes to belief she is the only person who would never betray him (because she truly had least benefit in it). Don't be fooled though, if she had e.g. crowned Bayezid in S3 as Sah intended, he would have shown her no mercy. /I once mentioned a bit about them, also historically here./

And LBR she got mistreated by him (please, he told her to kill herself for him, and the goal was not to determine whether she had poisoned Mustafa truly) multiple times before S4, it was only because of the topic covered I mentioned S4 stuff, especially related to how he screwed her kids.

People think of stuff in "tangible" categories and why stuff like mere "awareness" (without leading a revolution or whatever lol) seems to have little meaning.

Which is again one of the main themes of the show - to give voice also to those who lost and as such do not have the "but we won, we were happy, we lived" defence always acting for them. Bah, even controversies or discussions surrounding them. They are losers, not even worthy to talk about, and put on sidelines. We often discuss what motivated the "big figures" who got to become rulers, even if we do not approve of their actions or criticize them. Rarely we talk about "losers". Which is what Mustafa's letter stressed - people will deem me as traitor, while your name will be written in golden letters because of all your victories. This alone will make your name remembered. And even considering that Mustafa was lucky in that people generally did not believe him to be a traitor, with Bayezid it was much harder because yeah he did openly rebel and it's not something we can deny. But some jump to conclusions like 'he was insolent and one day decided to rebel for no reason' (yes, I've seen such takes) is very simplistic. I do not even approve of a lot of his actions there since while I get his anger at Suly and Selim I hate how he involves plenty of soldiers in a fight without a chance to succeed as long as Suly ass lives, but damn takes like above truly erase what brought him to such point. Because he was the prince with bigger support at that time. He could have waited for his father to die soon and easily taken the throne. /And historically - yes if you actually dig up sources, he didn't wake up and decide to attack innocent cookie pacifist Selim lol/. Show! Bayezid telling Defne that he would be labelled as a "rebellious prince" for future generations with obvious evidence backing it up means a lot because even though he IS one, there is so much more to this story and what bought him to this point, starting from his father's attitude to him since he was a kid.

And damn I do need to stress the need for the critical approach to SOW (which does not preclude stanning the characters/getting interested in historical figures ofc)? Maybe not here, but I still see TikTok shit on “The big 5” introducing feminism to Ottoman harem. There is no revolution we can talk of in any case, but truly, where is feminism involved in Haseki institution? It only privileges one woman over others. The others are still required to serve them, which is why we had the Hürrem/Gülnihal and Nurbanu/Valeria stories. And what it ties with what Sol says once Hürrem tries to kill Gülnihal - her parents' ghosts appearing to tell her It's not revenge. It's not what you promised us. Meanwhile, the men are still in power, with a person like Suleiman having unlimited agency. More.. the man selects the woman he gives those privileges too. And even if he grants her freedom (if HE pleases so), it has little actual effect because we all know she is still forbidden to leave him and would have lost her kids anyway if she had done so. Thus said, the moment when show Hürrem slams the door to Sulyass' stupid face is one of my fave Surrem moments without a doubt and one of fave H moments in general ahsmshs. / BTW One day I will finally talk how Westerners focus more on say legal marriage when it that system having multiple sons was more ground-breaking because even free brides from noble families who did not have children had little power and agency. /

There is plenty of irony involved, just as Mahi finally freeing herself from attachment to Suly once he rejects her freedom to which he is entitled by the System. Bah, only he has the power to do so regarding his women. It's all only at his own discretion.

It is precisely what I also mean by "taboo-breaking" and the questioning Mahi does of Suleiman and the way he (as Sultanate) operates. In that world mere questioning could break the taboo. We do not know what future lay ahead for anyone, but damn what he kept doing was neither just nor wise according to the very norms of the times themselves. Yes, Mustafa was the most promising and fitting candidate for the throne and he did not betray his father, so Suleiman removing him from "open succession" was not even why this method of succession had been established in the first place and demanded from princes assembling their own support, also ensuring that he would be easily accepted to prevent discord and rebellions. Mustafa did it too well, the horror. And that him wanting to do something (also as he himself stated, since he got privilege of being the prince and be able to rule, he should not sit idly, but use it for good purpose and the people) only brought him troubles because of Suly ass own ego only shows again the problems with this system and being centered on one person so much. Suleiman violated a lot for his own agenda, centered around himself, not the future of the state. This is what Mahi is criticizing and stating it to his face when he tried to paint his son as a traitor to present himself as just and acting for the state IS taboo-breaking in itself. Asking the question instead of dismissing it all as "fate", as Mihrimah tried.

Mahidevran tries to awake Mihri, who while rich and "still in power play", is very similar to her in many ways (also with the one big sin that has weighted on them silently). They all lost. Even Selim. Getting Mihri's brother (Hürrem's son) on the throne did not mean triumph and happiness for her. Heck, even Selim is a walking wreck. It's not even about sides because SS truly managed to destroy everyone's lives, not only one side's, so in the end it's not even favoritism. All for him to go with his beautiful words, a show-off victory, and his beloved throne (while saying something else in his monologue). Mahi telling Mihri to stop holding her father blameless IS the moment making someone else's eyes open and maybe do not let actively go for something that will not help anyone out at this point, like causing discord between Selim and his son. These are small things that are important for the theme and how mental freedom is also of value. Same with awareness. Nobody expects revolution or claims something. And we are at a particular point when Mahi already lost Mustafa and says it already in the context with him gone. She won't resurrect him with her words ofc LOL. And Mahi truly didn't have to do this, just take popcorn and look at Hürrem's kids & other descendants fighting even more.

You can precisely see when SS decides how to dispose of Bayezid when Mihri says she will never forgive him and will be dead to him if he executes her brother. The lightbulb over his head in this moment lol. So her continuing to hold him blameless, while putting everything on Selim and Nurbanu is buying his shit and rules of the Sultanate. Mihri might have power, so she can stir things up in attempt to still "win", but.. they all lost. Her acceptance of it and stating it out loud before leaving Topkapi again has meaning. One might continue to have power and live in palace (unlike Mahi), but they all lost anyway. Mere meddling that can cause only chaos to still try to win is meaningless and can ony be harmful. As such, Mahi's words can have at least some impact.

Mahi and fate as Sol's post with Plami's commentary also has this delicious tidbit with mirror - most likely Hürrem would have never ceased to hunt down Mustafa after Mehmed's death because she had decided on eliminating him long before that and kept carrying out the plan via concrete & repeated actions. However, Mahi still questions herself on that because she can never know. And even if it changed nothing, it still tormented her and polluted her conscience. Because culpability is still there, regardless of "system" and circumstances" and whether it has any tangible effect or not. Same with Selim still being culpable even though SS wanted Bayezid executed. He still chose to do so anyway. Bah, he is actually very self-conscious and states clearly that he won because unlike the others he was able to kill his brother.

Similarly, Mustafa, Cihangir, and Bayezid also made their choices. Mustafa could have axed Suleiman and it would have been hard to blame him for this in the situation it boilt down to. Actually, he was the one with biggest support at that moment, so rules of the Sultanate definitely allowed him to dispose of an aging ruler who began making a multitude of mistakes. He had the biggest power at his disposal if he wanted to. Moreover, Musti also chose to invite the member of the opposition faction because she was his sister, despite said sister openly declaring her standing on the opposite side and speaking to him "with her mother's words" last time they met. Once more, instead of rules of Sultanate and how the system expected him to act, he chose familial bonds.

Then again, Bayezid did have Selim on his knees in front of him and chose not to kill Selim, despite Selim never promising him any change or begging for mercy.

They both died, but they also could have chosen differently and compromised their conscience and values in the process.

Yet the opposite choice to adhere to the Darwinist rules and get the throne at any cost is not something mechanic that promises happiness or safety, either. Actually, it can make you painfully blind. We see Hürrem deciding blood will be spilled only of her enemies once she learns her son is going to end up on the throne. When she meets with the witch after Mustafa is dead and the throne for one of her sons IS a certain thing.. it's not what she wanted to hear, starting from her own imminent demise from natural causes. Same with her trust in the "human face" of the Sultanate aka Suly ass:

The "right, sultana?" is an ironic call-back to the beginning of the episode when she uses same words about Suly's power to exclude herself from the matter of Mustafa's death.

Also let us note the use of the word "destiny"😱 .

Also, Hürrem did not come back to ponder her preceding conversation with the witch earlier, as she had another proof of herself not interpreting it correctly - when she assumed Nazenin's baby would be the one the witch predicated as the Sultan. Nurbanu was after all pregnant with Murad at the same time.. so no, the witch was not mistaken, Hürrem was simply so caught up in her own vision of how it would go (also with Baye taking the throne) or assumed the witch to be mistaken, so she didn't notice it was about her grandson.

Another interesting thing is that the witch also predicts Mihrimah's future and that while her physical illness will pass soon, the spiritual pain will soon start and persist.

Because even if we "win" in that we survive, it does not need to bring happiness with it. At all.

It doesn't work like this either (Mihri talks about sacrifing Musti and Cih), while we are at it. There are no simple mechanisms like that! And how Mihri adopts her mother stance and calls her out that only one of her sons can survive according to the Darwinist rules (which is also what Rüstem advocates in any circumstances, only for him there is no support for Bayezid really... any can go) is just irony at its finest, and it stems also from her feeling of guilt - I already tainted my conscience and went again familial bonds, so let it at least mean victory for my favourite brother. She is now quick to accept one of them will die, she just wants to ensure it's not Bayezid.

Another of Hürrem's children that do adopt her "survival no matter the cost" agenda (and no, it's hard going for that to "pacifism" agenda shortly after getting what you wanted), and to a bigger extent, is Selim obviously.. Selim states to Bayezid that he will live because he is capable of killing his brother for his own survival. But we know what sort of life this is (and that he won't live long from history). He might later quote his mother to Mihrimah and convince himself that since nobody is innocent under this dome, so only the deserving win, but outside that, he does call himself a "brother killer" and does consider it a burden. /And Selim being his mother's son is another fascinating topic, since he was like.. her least fave and yet he is the one most alike her and who most absorbed her views and agenda.. to later emerge as sort-of third unexpected faction /.

Neither Mihrimah nor Selim ever found peace after adhering to the System's rules of fratricide. Bah, they cannot even be a family again as the only surviving members.. instead they openly accuse each other of being brother killers. Judging by history, they will eventually learn to co-operate, but nothing will be the same ever again. There is no moral victory in it for sure. Selim does not claim it any point. Actually, he is the one to point out that: We all lost. Innocence died and nothing will be as before. We can accuse Selim of many things, but he is a pretty self-conscious character indeed.

The others might be dead, but they did adhere to their principles and values due to choice.

The power of reflection or questioning is also tied to to the concept of choice as what makes us a human. MC never promises us happy ending (how it could, we all know the ending point), but the mere presentation of choice, of humans trying to create something positive, like Mustafa, Bayezid, and Cihangir deciding not to fight against each other as expected, is meaningful.

Instead we got nobody truly winning or benefitting from what happened LBR. It cannot get worse than that, really.

The whole issue again reflects what I said earlier in that post on how Erdogan historical propaganda works. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but there is no questioning at all. Instead we have normalization of violence and presenting it as something necessary, and that there is no choice or alternative to what happened. The sultan killed his brothers, but he had to. It was necessary, it was automatic. There is even no person behind it, but a robot always doing the right (even if brutal) choice because "it was like that".

And to some up the great ironies of life, we can remember that Mahi who lost it all... survived them all, so she won the Darwinist game in the end despite being rejected by System multiple times:

#all the ironies of life indeed #'the strongest survive and win'#as if #regarding everything in this statement #the topic of free choice vs system vs fate is soo fascinating in MC #Maybe will talk even more on the topic #let's see #mods opinions #meta

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