#my girlfriend loves the musk personally so

[lovethemme]

Is there anything wrong with not showering for sex like clean up down there but besides that what’s so bad about odor can b sexy

ladies n gentlemen give it up for my first ask

[lovebugism]

u said 2 do ur worst for shy!r so…. steve and reader go to the hawkins snowball dance and a slow song comes on and its a uber romantic song (i’m talking taylor swift type romance) and steve ofc asks r to dance… she’s super shy so she keeps looking at the floor but then steve does the thing where you lift the other persons chin up so they’re looking into ur eyes… if u wanna elaborate on this :)

i changed this up a wee bit, but i hope u like it! — when steve is finally crowned prom king, all he can think about is getting a dance with his (sorta) secret girlfriend (shy!fem!r, hurt/comfort, 1.2k)

Steve abandons his crown and scepter somewhere between the bleachers and the snack table. The thought of finding you is far more important than the chunks of plastic they give him. 

The cold breeze of the early evening cools his warm cheeks, flushed red from the adrenaline and the alcohol. He finds you sitting on the wooden bench outside the gymnasium, pretty and all alone. The skirt of your fairy-tale dress billows around your calves. Elbows digging into your thighs, you prop your chin on your fists and pout softly beneath the pale moonlight. 

You’re the prettiest thing Steve’s ever seen. The saddest, too, maybe.

“Been looking for you,” he says to announce his presence. The lopsided smile on his face is audible. You know it’s dancing on his pink mouth before you ever turn around to face him. 

He’s a pretty thing in a sleek tux. Boyishly handsome. Sort of like he’s playing dress-up. The thought almost makes you smile.

“Sorry,” you apologize in a mousy voice, blinking up at him with sparkly, made-up eyes when he looms over you. “It got… really loud in there…”

“Well, Tommy spiked the punch, so… It was kinda inevitable,” Steve jokes with a lazy shrug, even though he isn’t really joking. 

He watched the idiot steal his dad’s best liquor from the high-up cabinet two hours ago. The Hawkins High class of ’85 got drunk on it in record time. The school pulses with life accordingly. The brick behind you threatens to shake with it.

Your nose scrunches. “Is that why it tasted like gasoline?”

“Probably,” Steve grins.

He huffs and sits at the spare spot next to you. The old bench creaks in protest. He takes his first good breath all night when he’s finally alone with you. The fresh air and your perfume fill his lungs, smoother than silk. There’s a subtle euphoria and a distant nostalgia between it all. 

He’s spent years chasing this feeling. He thought maybe being crowned prom king would solve all his problems. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. ‘Cause you did.

“You coming back inside?”

Your lips purse to the side of your mouth as you ponder the question. “I don’t know… Probably not.”

Steve’s freshly shaven face swirls with visible confusion. He loves a party — especially when he’s the life of it — so it’s hard for him to comprehend how other people don’t. Even though he knows, more than anyone else, that you’re made of something much more delicate than that.

“Why not?”

“Prom’s not really my scene, Steve,” you answer with a scoffed-out laugh.

He flashes you a crooked smile in return, painted silver in the moonlight. His cologne swaddles you in its musk when he leans over to nudge your shoulder. “You promised me a dance, remember?”

Your soft features harden into a frown. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, c’mon! You know you wanna dance with me,” he protests through a poorly bitten-back laugh.

“Why?” you press, meeting his beam with a lighthearted scowl. “So all your friends can laugh at me?”

“Screw ‘em! They’re assholes— who cares?”

“I care. ‘Cause you’re not the one they’re laughing at, King Steve.”

You spit the stupid nickname with playful venom in your tone, but Steve can’t help but smile at it, anyway. He’s a week away from graduating, halfway employed, and Hawkins High’s reigning prom king. It’s all slightly maddening — especially now that he’s got you.

He wonders if you applauded when he won that stupid crown. If you laughed at him about it, or if you were strangely proud. He’ll ask you about it later. After he gets that dance.

“Let ‘em laugh,” he shrugs.

You shake your head, averting your gaze with a sad smile. You wish it were that easy. 

“You don’t know what it’s like,” you tell him as the heavy bass inside the school starts to slow. Through the high-up frosted windows, you hear Girls on Film fade into Never Tear Us Apart. 

“Sorry for wanting to dance with my girlfriend,” he teases to ease the tension. It comes out more serious than he intended, though, ‘cause he is sort of sorry. Nothing about your two worlds exactly meshes — yet here he is, still hopelessly trying to tangle them together.

You know this, so you sigh. “Sorry for not being prom queen,” you joke back, only partly serious. You blink at him with a pair of twinkling eyes — slightly smudged with mascara. The sparkles of your eyeshadow glint when they catch the moonlight. 

“Don’t want you to be prom queen,” Steve confesses softly, smiling at you somehow softer. “I like you the way you are right now.”

You get a warm, tingly feeling in your stomach. It wells up your chest and into your throat until you feel like you might cry. 

You roll your eyes at him when they start to burn, laughing softly to distract from the overwhelming feeling. Your gaze flits to the velvet night sky, speckled with twinkling stars, until you get the courage to look back at the boy beside you. His face glitters with something hopeful. 

You swallow hard and ask, “You still want that dance or what?”

Steve glows with a boyish excitement. “Yeah! Are you kidding? Of course, I do.”

“Out here, though,” you tell him when he rises from the bench.

He smiles at the stern look in your delicate eyes. “Why? You ashamed of me or somthin’?” he jokes, as if he wasn’t named just prom king.

You stand before him with your arms crossed over the pretty corset of your dress. You bite back a smile. “I just wanna spend time with my boyfriend without it being on the cover of The Weekly Streak tomorrow,” you confess.

“Fair enough,” Steve nods, smoothing his wide hands over your sides. 

Yours are much less confident. They tremble with a misplaced worry as they spread over his shoulders. Your fingers fidget on the satin lapels of his expensive suit. His longer ones guide you back and forth, swaying you gently to the slow beat of the muffled song.

—Don’t ask me, what you know is true…

Don’t have to tell you, I love your precious heart—

You get lost in it all before you mean to. The warmth of having him so close, swaddled in his big hands and deep cologne. 

His honeyed gaze hasn’t yet wavered from you, but you don’t have the heart to meet it. He’s looking at you like he loves you. Like you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Like you’re the fucking prom queen. 

You don’t feel particularly deserving of any of it.

“Are you still having fun?” you ask with a scrunched nose, visibly riddled with feelings of inadequacy. You still haven’t quite figured out why he’d rather be out here with you than inside with everyone else — with Vicki Carmichael, the actual prom queen.

“Loads,” Steve answers without missing a beat. His hands squeeze reassuringly at your hips as he flashes you a crooked grin. “It’s not even a question, honestly. I’d choose you over those schmucks in there any day of the week.”

He nods his slicked-back hair to the pulsing brick a few feet away. A few gelled chestnut strands drape over his forehead. You fight the urge to push them back.

“Really?” you squeak with your pretty face, all dolled up, twisted with an innocent look of confusion.

You have no idea how beautiful you are, Steve thinks to himself.

“Yeah,” he nods, grinning wide and wearing all his adoration on his chiseled, golden face. He could hide it if he tried. “Tommy Hagan isn’t nearly as pretty to look at.”

[ipegchangbin]

I HHAVE TO SO MUCH BOY PUSSY THOUGHTS BUT LIKE IM SHAKING AND ESOC DHD OGMGG right but what are you thoughts on fem!skz???? uz the brainrot has been getting to me and i personally believe there just arent ENOUGH fem!skz like whaat happened to the pussy? the cunt? THE PUM PUM

sorry. i loved your drabble though and just your work in general and im not kidding when i say that wehn i saw you actually answered my request and then saw said request on my dashboard thingy I LITERALLY PUT MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND WAS YAYAYAYAYA!?!?!?!

URE RIGHT LIKEEE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PUMPUMHDSJJDJSNS

💗 nsfw fem!skz thoughts

🏷️ fem!skz, gn!reader, smut smut smut

— bang chan

chan’s beautiful, bubbly, a little busty with a big butt. she’s everything you would want in a girl: a giggly lady with a pretty body. she’s very preppy, a little clingy once you two get together, but in bed? she’s a blushing mess! she loves when you chat her up only to talk her down, let her babble several flavors of nonsense and moan with that sweet curly accent of hers. her dimples show every time she clenches her jaw in pleasure. chan loves getting herself off on your fingers, riding them, even just grinding on them through her clothed cunt…and she loves when you make her feel a little dirty about it. her butt is the plumpest, it feels good to grope and massage, and best of all — it gets red when she blushes! chan is a giggly girl who’s heavenly to play with.

— minho

a competitive peer turned blunt best friend turned snappy girlfriend, minho’s the prettiest yet sharpest lady you’ve ever come across. she loves keeping things traditional, making you court her to even get a glimpse of her reciprocated love, but when she fell back for you it was all worth it. minho loves to keep half of her long hair up in a bun while the rest flows down past her shoulders, framing her beautiful body against the kitchen counters as she whips you up your favorite meal. a few hours after dinner, you have her over the same counter, fucking her cunt well. she loves to moan your name and make you feel how much she loves you. she gets wet so easily when you moan back, when you tell her you adore her. you figure that she tastes better than her own cooking.

— changbin

what’s not to love about changbin? she was love at first sight turned the love of your life. you fell for the way she looked with her love handles, tummy, and big breasts, and as soon as she spoke to you, it was all real. she’s gentle and kind, offering to help you with whatever work you need. changbin gets very shy when you abandon your work and grab her by the hips and breasts instead. she wears her curly hair long and down and the curtains match the drapes: she has the bush of a lifetime. secretly loves it whenever you’re between her thighs or all up in her cleavage smelling her after her workouts, all before going to town and fucking her ever so sweetly. she’s a muscle mommy who calls you mommy. oh, and changbin in an evening dress—the ones that hug her form, accentuating her belly and toned ass—is a sight to see. she’s absolutely obsessed with lovemaking after her shower. a clean and fresh woman, she’ll take every bit of your body worship before your dates to heart.

— hyunjin

she’s the classiest lady you’ve ever met. always does herself up, wears the prettiest makeup, and always fixes her hair in the middle of your dates. she smells heavenly; it’s french cologne mixed with a bit of your after-sex musk. hyunjin always finds herself getting fucked every time she’s with you, and you don’t know if it’s her irresistible energy or the fact that she’s needier than you. and when the dates reach past midnight, she only becomes cinderella in a way that she takes you home with her, designer clothes to the floor, revealing even more expensive lingerie underneath. class, elegance, all that demure shit flies out of the window as soon as you’re working your mouth on her petite boobs. when it’s all done, she glows in your arms and embraces you, kissing you all over with sweet words between her lips. she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.

— han jisung

han’s a charming woman who’s a bit of a geek. she’s a self-deemed loser, but so incredibly far from the doozy girl she claims to be. you don’t mind her armpit hair, her layered cut, and the leg hair she never wants to shave: she’s charming and attractive for that. firmly believes in having her nips out and it’s so cute of her. jisung is very carefree, and it extends to the sex too. she secretly likes it when you cuddle yet feel her up. she loves it when you sneak your hand under your shorts. she loves it when you’re being nonchalant and casual, eating her out while she’s watching a movie, moaning and whining slightly while all dazed. you hum and call her beautiful, the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen, and it does something to her. maybe she’s a bit of a perverted girl too, getting off on your compliments when you’re gone and out of her room.

— felix

a girl’s girl through and through. she loves you very much but there are many reasons why you love her more. she has everything on her: need chapstick? it’s either she pulls one out of her magic tote bag — or she kisses you! need a pen? she’ll even write for you! need to eat her out? she’ll spread her legs before you even blink! she’s always happy and smiley even if you’re playing with her freckled pussy. you tell her that she’s pretty when she smiles, making her grin even more. felix always has her hair done in different crazy styles, but always up whenever she wants to return the favor on you. adores you whenever you catch her out of breath from your fingers and mouth alone. you always kiss every one of her freckles, even the ones near her clit to tease her — and every single time, she falls harder and harder in love with you.

— seungmin

if there was any lady who matched you best, she’d be seungmin. she’s blunt with her words but she means well whenever she talks to you. it was a surprise the first time she asked for sex, simply letting honesty take over and let her know that she wanted you. loves talking you up even if you’re going down on her. she never shaves nor trims her bush, and you find her smirk so attractive every time you find her clit. all that snarky attitude dissolves as soon as you kiss further into her clit, teasing her ass and playing with the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. she’s kind of obsessed with the way you show her own cum in your mouth. gets even more delirious when you tug on her short hair and tell her dirty compliments. she feels the most like a woman when you work your way with her — just make sure to take her out on a date and pay the bill right after.

— jeongin

jeongin’s a lady who never backs down from an adventure. from exploring the outdoors to exploring each other’s bodies, she’s an open woman who doesn’t hesitate to love you right. she’s wild in many senses: you’ve fucked while alone in public once. it’s her spirit that charms you most, you think as you pound into her ass — her request. she’s sweet and very talkative, telling you all about the kinky shit she wants to do the later in night while curling her hair for work. jeongin loves being pampered and pampering you back. she wears your favorite sets of lingerie, or if you prefer it, wears nothing at all when you get home to her. she gets deliciously needy every time you play with her nipples out of nowhere. but even after all the adventures, her cunt might as well be your home.

[kisskourt]

stem riri williams headcanons

pairing: riri williams x black!reader

contains: fluff, smut (18+)

taglist: @inmyheadimobsessed @shurislover @phantomof-themcu @sapphicvqmpires @sapphicjunglefever @playhousedistee @thtgirlllmona @vixentheplanet @dejaonline @prettymrswright

author’s note: this version of riri lives rent free in my head. s/o to my baby @inmyheadimobsessed for helping me with this. i love you pookie wookie! thanks for reading!

SFW

🔩 the epitome of a girly tomboy. her closet is a mixture of men's and women's clothing. her go to look is a fitted top, baggy pants, and a pair of sneakers. around the house, she likes to wear a sports bra and boxer briefs. for formal events, she opts for a tailored suit and heels.

🔩 cornrows, box braids, knotless braids; she's tried them all. of the styles, straight back cornrows are her favorite. if she's feeling nostalgic, she'll add beads at the end of her braids. regardless of the style, her edges must be done. when she’s in a rush, she’d rather throw a hat on than to be seen without her edges laid.

🔩 without jewelry she feels naked. gold is her preferred metal but she’ll wear silver if it matches her outfit. her chains are a staple with anything she wears.

🔩 obsessed with getting her nails done. there is an agreement between the two of you that you pick the color and she picks the design. however, sometimes she’s adventurous and surprises you with a random color.

🔩 the biggest baby ever. after a long day of classes, she craves you. engulfed in your arms is her safe space. if she could live in your skin, she would.

🔩 before attending MIT, she worked at a car repair shop in high school. her love for cars stems from her relationship with her step-father. as a child, she would help him repair his plymouth barracuda in the garage. getting her hands dirty reminds her of the time she spent with him. in her free time, you often catch her in her garage modifying the plymouth barracuda. she recently installed a set of brake calipers in the color red.

🔩 legos! legos! legos! your girlfriend is a fein for anything lego. legos allow her to keep her hands busy while keeping her mind stimulated.

🔩 gym rat DOWN! she lives in the gym; it’s a safe space for her. for riri, each set, each rep, are not just pursuits of strength, but a ritual of equilibrium. she chases that release of dopamine; it balances her.

🔩 she’s your personal stylist. riri spends hours on pinterest saving fits and curating looks for you. she enjoys seeing you in the clothes she buys you, and she’s even more obsessed with taking your pictures. you have an entire instagram page dedicated to the outfits she’s made for you, and you must tag her so that 1. your followers know that she put the fit together and 2. you’re absolutely 100% taken, so they better not try anything!

NSFW

🔩 horny 25/8. 3 in the morning? horny. 5 in the afternoon? horny. she’s down for whatever, whenever.

🔩 a strap slinger! she loves seeing the way you react every time her strap disappears in you. her favorite position is missionary because it allows her to look into your eyes as she’s drilling you.

with her hand wrapped around your throat, riri smiles. her pace is relentless; a clear indication that she is determined to overstimulate you. your legs are wrapped around her torso, holding on for dear life.

tears began forming in your eyes; the feeling of pain and pleasure mixing.

"give it to me, baby." she hums.

“let go.”

you know what she desires, and you know how much she loves discovering the intricacies of your body.

the grip on your neck tightened as she hit your g-spot. the aroma of sex and musk fill the room as you close your eyes. seconds later, your right nipple is met with a harsh slap, followed by a demanding suckle.

"did i say you could close your eyes?"

🔩 devouring you is her favorite pastime. you're upset? head. stressed out? head. it doesn't matter when or where; she's always ready to drop to her knees for a taste of you.

with a sigh, riri places her keys on the kitchen counter. picking up her phone, she sends you a series of texts:

🔩 undoubtedly a switch. as much as she loves bending you over, she yearns for your dominance. relinquishing control to you is easy for her.

🔩 has a tramp stamp that reads "lucky you" in red ink.

🔩 she loves the feeling of you tugging on her braids as she cleans you up. slurp after slurp, she doesn't dare complain about how tight your grip is. all she cares about is how lovely you taste.

🔩 tying you up so she can see you squirm is one of the ways she punishes you when you've been a brat.

🔩 when she's frustrated with you, she makes you watch as she rubs her clit.

you extend your arms, attempting to touch her. swatting your hand away, she smirks.

"do you deserve to touch me?” you shake your in defiance.

"then stop trying to touch me!"

[costinblazetwice]

Anniversary With Tzuyu (Male reader x Tzuyu) (smut)

“It’s really good Y/N.” Your girlfriend Tzuyu says with a smile after taking a bite of the eggtart that you had picked up on your stroll in the mall.

It was your guys’s one year anniversary and you had booked a trip to Paris, France to celebrate. Since morning the two of you have been out and about enjoying the scenery of the romantic city after having spent the previous day resting up from the flight.

“Let me try.” You said as leaned forward and bit part of the piece that was hanging out of Tzuyu’s mouth causing her eyes to go wide as she looked around in embarrassment.

“Why would you do that? We’re in public you know?”

You don’t answer as you’re too busy savoring the taste of the egg tart that was once on her lips. Besides this is Paris and seeing couples acting romantically wasn’t anything new.

You two continued to spend the day enjoying each others company including spending the sunset by the Eiffel Tower. As night time came the two of you headed back to your hotel, heart thumping knowing that you two would get the chance to do what you didn’t do due to tiredness last night.

As you two arrived at the hotel Tzuyu excused herself to the bathroom as you took the chance to scroll through your phone as you hadn’t had time throughout the day. You hear the door open and as you look up you drop your mouth and your phone at the same time.

Tzuyu walks out wearing a white lingerie kimono mix which is see through showing the white bra and panties she has underneath. She has a sheepish smile on her face which shows a mixture of embarrassment and flusterdness. But you loved it.

You quickly got up from the bed and put your hands to Tzuyu’s side watching her squirm under the touch on her bare skin. You turn her around and take in every second of the beauty right in front of you.

“When’d you get this?” You ask puzzled, not recalling Tzuyu ever having this set before.

“Remember when that package came and I said it was some hoodies I brought and quickly put it in my room? It was this.”

She puts her head against your chest and continues.

“I was so embarrassed buying this, but I thought you might like it…” she lifts her head to look you in the eyes.

“Do you?”

You couldn’t hold it in anymore. Those puppy eyes she looked at you with made you want to ravage her right there.

You pick her up princess style and lay her on the bed as she lets out a slight yelp at the sudden movement. You immediately crash lips with her, going for the tongue rather than taking your time.

“So beautiful.” You breathe through the kiss as you begin to remove the garments. “But they’re in the way.”

You remove the material covering her until you’ve reached her panties which she covers with her hands to prevent you from removing them.

“Wait honey, I didn’t get to shower yet.”

You laugh at how cute she seemed but if that was the case she should’ve taken one before coming out. Maybe she just wanted to give you a sneak peek? Either way you don’t mind as the pheromones that belong to Tzuyu drive you crazy, her personal scent which consists of Diptyque Do Son perfume which smells of gardenia, her sweat, and her musk that is completely unique to her

You press your mouth against Tzuyu’s dripping cunt, letting the musky scent that belongs only to her fill your nose as you begin to flicker her clit with your tongue. Your mouth filled with the salty wetness of her excitement and her whimpers filling the air only made you want to keep going at it, enjoying the sensation of her gently tugging at your hair.

“You like that?” You whisper pulling away for a second before diving in tongue first once more.

“It’s so good Y/N.” She breathlessly moans as her back arches and her hands go from tugging at your hair to pulling on the back of your head, wanting to push you as deep as your tongue can go into her most pleasurable area. She begins to rock her hips as well and with the sticky witness from her pussy only increasing in quantity and your raging hard boner now at its peak vitality, you decide it’s time for the next part.

You lift your head up as Tzuyu lets out a groan. She begins to protest with “I was so close” but you cut her off with a kiss, letting her taste her own juices. The two of you stay in the embrace for several seconds before pulling pull away.

“I can’t wait any longer.” You state as she catches a glimpse of your cock that’s pointing straight to the air in excitement. She nods as she adjusts the pillow beneath her head and adds a second one under her lower back lifting her lower half up to give you further access, just the way she likes it.

Tzuyu doesn’t need to tell you every little thing she wants or expects. She’s a shy girl and when the two of you first had sex there wasn’t much confirmation on what was good and what wasn’t. Over time as your relationship continued to build you began to find what works for her, what gets her hips moving a particular way, her breathing to speed up, and her whimpers to begin to loosen from her mouth. It’s pretty crazy that now we’re here at our 1 year anniversary and you’re able read her mind so easily in bed when that was something you struggled with.

You align your cock with Tzuyu’s entrance, teasing her as you rub against her dripping wet cunt causing the pleasurable friction to make her moan and also make the nerve endings at the head of your penis to go into a tingling fit, feeling as though you have fluttering butterflies kept within that are now moving uncontrollably.

“Stop teasing…” Tzuyu whimper out as she rocked her hips trying to get all the pleasure she can get. Her eyes were still closed and her head turned to the side. Begging for my cock being something that even all our time is something she’s rather shy about.

But you wanted to hear the words from her mouth on your guys’s anniversary.

“Tell me what you want. I want to hear it from that pretty little mouth of yours, Princess.” You say hovering over her, using one hand to keep you propped up over her and the other to gently take her chin and force eye contact between you two.

She whines in response lightly tapping at your abs, but you don’t budge.

You lean down enough to where you’re laying on her but not with your entire weight on top of her. Your bare cock touches her stomach and the leaking precum drips on her belly as the cold touch makes her shiver.

“I want my Princess to tell me exactly what she wants on our anniversary.” You nibble on her ear as you whisper this causing her to groan as she shifts her body.

To some this may seem overly cheesy, but you know just how Tzuyu likes it. For her the romantic connection has to be there and there’s nothing that gets her heart racing like hearing you calling her Princess inches from her ear. You know exactly what she likes.

“I want your cock.” She mumbles to the point where you think you imagined it.

“Say that again love.” You nuzzle your head into her shoulder with your ear directly by her mouth, craving oh so desperately to hear those words, knowing she’s just as desperate from her cunt juices that have soaked the bed sheets near her crotch area.

“I want you to put your cock inside of me.” Hearing your cute innocent girlfriend say the word “cock” almost made you cum right there, but you composed yourself.

“That’s my Princess.” You lift yourself up to give her a quick peck on her cheeks as you notice her unable to make eye contact with you as her cheeks ever subtly turn a rosy color.

You laugh silently to yourself. She really is the best girlfriend in the world.

With the amount of precum you have dripping out and the natural fluid dripping from her heat there’s need of minimal lube as you align with her center once more, and the plunge ever so slowly in, savoring the long drawn out moans of Tzuyu who takes the pillow her head was resting on and now uses it to cover her mouth, but the moans are still heard throughout the room.

Tzuyu’s not really a moaner but more so a whimper. When she’s enjoying herself the room is filled with soft yet quick whines rather than loud or exciting screams. And you liked it like that. Sex was something between you two, from the smell, taste, and sounds. No need to share it with the neighbors.

You rock your hips in a slow and controlled manner, just as Tzuyu likes. She wants to favor every feeling, loving the bliss she’s in when she can feel every inch of your cock entering and exiting, but you also include several hard thrusts as well to break the rhythm which make her whimpers start to resemble full blown moans. She bites harder on the pillow to prevent from being heard but there’s nothing more you’d like to see than your princes making such an erotic face and sounds for you.

You take the pillow and remove it, observing your innocent girlfriend who just a few hours ago was cheerfully eating an egg tart while walking with you in a shopping mall, and is now a smutty mess with tears welling, saliva ever slightly drooling near her mouth, hair a disheveled mess with parts caught up in her mouth, and her cheeks a rosy tinted color matching that of her lips.

It’s enough to make you cum right there.

Despite being in the steady rhythm that Tzuyu enjoys, the sheer eroticism of all that was taking place was putting you near your edge as you began to frantically increase the pace at which you were thrusting into Tzuyu. The squeaking of the bed increases as does the frequency of her little moans as the two of you are nearly at your tipping point.

“I’m gonna cum.” You smack into her one last time and let your cum release inside, seconds later flopping next to Tzuyu on the bed who’s attempting to catch her breath.

“That was amazing…” She speaks before you get the chance. You reach your arm out to the cupboard next to the bed and grab a few sheets of napkins which you hand to Tzuyu who slowly wipes at the liquid dripping from her cunt.

You place your hand on her stomach and rub at it, thankful for having such a wonderful human in your life. She attempts to get up to throw the dirty napkins away but you take your hand that was on her stomach and wrap your arm around her and pull her down into your embrace.

“Do it later please.” You groan against your girlfriend who attempts to wiggle out while complaining about it being dirty, but eventually she gives in by tossing the dirty napkins filled with mixture of your cum and her juices onto the cupboard as she melts into your embrace.

“Made you cum pretty hard there.” You say with a cheeky smile as she playfully slaps at your chest. She runs her hands through your hair with a slight smile on her face.

“Best anniversary ever.” She says with a laugh.

“But this is our first anniversary.”

“I know. But it’ll be hard to top this one. I mean it’s been perfect, but the best part?..” she trails off with a smirk on her face as you can feel energy beginning to return to your member down there.

“…was the eggtart.” She says taking the small remaining leftover from the cupboard and eating it with a sheepish smile.

“That was mine.” You groan lifting yourself up and smashing your mouth to hers, attempting to use your tongue to retrieve what bits of flavor you can savor from her mouth as Tzuyu giggles in your embrace, wrapping her arms around your neck as you two sink back into the bed with your tongues still tied in a clash.

Looks like the anniversary night isn’t over yet.

[halucynator]

Hi can I get a imagine about Theodore Nott?

Okay so reader and (duh!) theodore are partners in potion’s class. Both slytherin. They are making the potion Amortentia (see where I’m going with this?), they sniff it, and then challenge the other to drink it making them infatuated with each other. Reader already has feelings for Theo since second year but never knew theo felt the same but since he’s a guy and guys act macho and tough, he pretends the feelings are only because of the potion towards their friends (only Pansy (our bff!) knows about our feelings towards Theo). Ending it with a confession of feelings and a truck load of smut?

If you don’t do smut, a fluffy ending please

Amortentia

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, confessions, shouting (like barely)

A/n: first of all, thanks for the request, I love it! Sorry this was so late x I kinda forgot about the fact that I finished it because I thought I posted it so sorry xx I also didn't give it a smutty ending (sorry!) Because I suck at writing smut. My reason before used to be bc I was uncomfortable but idrgaf anymore. It's just cause I suck at it and dont wanna disappoint you xx hope you like it 🩷

Also to all the other people who requested: I see your request xx I'm going to take some time to write it to do it justice xx

You stumbled into Snape's potion class, knowing you were late. In your defense... you had none.

You sat down next to Theo, your good friend, after being told off by Snape.

"Today we'll be making amortentia. Can anyone tell me what an amortentia potion is?" Snape directed the question to the class.

Hermione raised her hand. Of course she did. Snape nodded towards her, gesturing her to continue.

"It's one of the strongest love potions rumoured to smell differently for each person." She answered.

"Correct. Now to make this potion you're going to need the following ingredients." Snape went on about the ingredients. After a while, he finally told you to make it.

As you stirred the potion, the smell of white musk, violets and faint smoke enveloped your senses. The smell of... Theo.

"God you definitely did not cut back on your vanilla perfume today y/n." Theo stated.

You just stared at him waiting for him to realise.

"There's no way!" Theo said as he realised.

"Only one way to find out." You said.

He raised an eyebrow as a gesture to continue.

"Drink it." You say.

"What?"

"drink it." You repeat.

"if I drink it, you will have to too."

"okay, deal."

You knew you would regret it but it was already too late as you had already gulped down the potion.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊*•̩̩͙

The next few hours were... traumatising (to say the least) for your friends.

Around other people you could pretend you were only flirting with Theo because you drank the potion. Other people except Pansy.

Pansy knew you liked him. Well, in your defense you never really told her. She was your best friend and you were going to eventually tell her but she guessed even before you could.

With the potion, you couldn't tell if Theo actually liked you or was just pretending. That's what he told all his friends. But in all fairness, so did you and that didn't necessarily mean it was true. He said he was infatuated with you because of the potion but you so desperately hopes he actually liked you. And the stupid potion wasn't helping.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊*•̩̩͙

"You need to tell him!" Pansy said as you walked around her room telling her how you're ere contemplating if he liked you or not.

"What if he rejects me?" You ask, worried.

"Pfft have you seen him? He is so in love with you." She says.

"It could just be the potion!" You stated.

"You don't get it, do you? I mean before he drank it. He acted love struck then as well!" She said.

"What? No he didn't. He had a girlfriend at that time. And he wa making out with her. And doing... other stuff." You said disgusted.

"Guys tend to try and impress the person they like. He literally acted tough around you. All the time." Pansy said.

"I guess there's only one way to find out." You stated sighing as you gave in.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊*•̩̩͙

You marched into the common room with Pansy write behind you making sure you don't change your mind.

"Theo can I talk to you?" You ask politely.

"Uh, yeah." He said.

As you walked out with him you just kinda said it.

"I like you. I've liked you for ages and it's okay if you don't like me back. You aren't inclined to. I smelled you in the potion and I never told you and I just felt that if I told you it would ruin our friendship and I didn't-" your words were cut short as Theo placed his lips against yours.

"Did you kiss me to get me to shut up? Wise choice." You said as you pulled away.

"Yeah that's one reason." He said giggling.

"What's the other reason?" You asked.

"Why do people usually kiss?" He answered you with a question.

"I know I just wanted to hear you say it." You said blushing slightly.

"I like you too." He said genuinely meaning it. You knew that wasn't the potion.

"Now can I kiss you again?" He asked.

"I'd like that very much." You said.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊*•̩̩͙

Thanks for reading! This was on the back burner for a while and I kinda forgot about it bc I thought I posted it so sorry about that xx hope you liked it 💖

[noellawrites]

Y Tú, Mamá? Part 2 - Yandere!Lalo Salamanca x reader

part one linked here

summary: you wake up in a strange place and Lalo is the first person you see.

warnings: kidnapping, forced restraint

tags: @jaythegreat @gothams-gotchya @oceandolores @matt-lipstick @joonie7007 @mavericksicybabe

author’s note: the two year wait is finally over! sorry it’s so short. if anyone has any more ideas on how to continue this or what they’d like to see, please let me know! :)

Your evil, sadistic and wickedly smart husband had eyes on you every moment of every day.

And, in your momentary lapse of judgement, you had forgotten that. Lalo never let you out of his sight without a few of his men keeping eyes on you and his precious daughter.

After calling Saul’s girlfriend and setting up a meeting, you walked with Leticia hand-in-hand out to your car.

Before you even knew what was happening, Lalo’s men grabbed you and threw a bag over your head. The last sound you heard was Lettie screaming as your world went dark.

—

You woke up to the sound of birds chirping and children giggling. As you looked around the room, something about it was strangely familiar.

The mix of Southwestern and Mexican artwork, the patchwork quilt on the bed, even the view of the countryside outside of the window.

You looked down at the chains binding you to the bed and realized that this was Lalo’s house in Chihuahua. You were in Mexico.

“Good morning, my love,” Lalo cooed as he opened the bedroom door, a glass of water in his hand.

His unmistakable musk followed him, expensive cologne of tobacco and leather. Your body shook with fear each time he took a step closer.

“Lalo… why are we here? Where’s Lettie?”

“Lettie is fine, she’s with Abuelita and her cousins. Now, are you going to apologize?” your husband said, an edge to his tone.

He crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow as he stares at you. You try your hardest to sit up, chains rattling as your limbs move.

“You don’t understand how hard this is for me, Lalo! I haven’t been able to see my family in years and your family hates me! You treat me like a pet! I’m tired of it!”

“How hard this is for you? Mi amor, I take care of everything for you. You do not have to work. You do not slave away. You simply watch after and grow our little ones,” he stated, taking a step closer.

“I never wanted this, Lalo,” you sighed, tears building up in your eyes.

“So I should’ve left you there, frying chicken for Gustavo? Suffering, struggling to get by?” he scoffed, shaking his head at how stupid you were.

“I don’t want to argue anymore, I’m tired and I’m cramping,” you groaned, trying to adjust and allow your stomach to rest comfortably. Your child seemed to be kicking up a storm in there.

Lalo walked up to you, eyes bearing into yours, and leans in to kiss you on the lips.

“Eduardo Junior should be here soon,” he says with a smile and a gentle rub on your stomach.

“Lettie’s gonna be so excited,” you say softly, trying to crack a smile.

Giving birth to your daughter at nineteen was a traumatic experience, to say the least. Especially with the way Lalo had kept you locked up.

And now, looking down at your chains, you suspected you would be put back under strict watch, though now he had his entire family to keep watch over you.

“Are you feeling okay?” Lalo asked, forehead wrinkling in concern. Before you could respond, he sat down next to you on the bed, resting his hand on the swell of your stomach.

“Yeah, I just— Lalo, do you think you might let me see my family sometime? I want them to meet Lettie and—“

“Mi amor, your family is right here in Mexico. Now, it will be so much easier to see Abuelita, the cousins, and all our nieces and nephews,” he smiled, gently rubbing your baby bump again.

“Lalo,” you said gently, “I want to go back to New Mexico. We can’t stay here, the kids—“

“The kids will love it here. Lettie’s Spanish will improve, they can be around family. I can protect all four of us better out here, hm?”

Lalo looked at you expectantly, and you knew in that moment that you will not be returning to the United States anytime soon. Lalo, the father and husband, always had the last word.

[villainofmyownstory]

Zultanite

Part I - Gravity

AO3

pairing: Poly 141 x plus size fem!reader

summary: After inheriting jewelry from your dearest grandmother and one visit to a fortune teller. Your life is changing. Not once, not twice… but four times.

tags: Polyamory × Poly 141 × Strangers to Lovers × Stranger Sex × Polyamorous Task Force 141 (Call of Duty) × Smut × Oral Sex × Eventual Romance

a/n: Today I heard the song Gravity by Ralph, which inspired me to write this story. Each part will feature a different member of TF141.

Parts of the song lyrics are in italics.

Let me know what you think, I'm still learning how to write smut.

English is not my first language, so probably many things are poorly described and the vocabulary is very simple. If you see any mistakes - let me know!

✨🔮🌠🌟✨🔮🌠🌟✨🔮🌠🌟✨🔮🌠🌟✨🔮🌠🌟✨🔮🌠

Part I - Gravity

Kyle ”Gaz” Garrick

You are sitting in a small, narrow corridor, surrounded by many strange objects. Your heart is beating fast. You feel uneasy. The walls are colorful, trinkets, colorful lamps and curtains hang from the ceilings.

There is a sweet, heavy but pleasant scent in the air.

You only came here because your friend got an unusual gift from someone for her birthday. A rather peculiar one. A visit to a fortune teller.

You don't believe in such things, you are a rather down-to-earth woman. No fairies, princesses, wizards, unicorns or magical powers of objects. Pure science. Logic.

But you'll do anything for your friends.

You are snapped out of these ponderings by a voice from the side. Your girlfriend's more impatient and curious about the whole aura around the place.

“Thursday: cinnamon, musk, sage.... Interesting, maybe we should come another day. Oh! For example, on Sundays the smell of lemon. Do you know what it's good for?”

You didn't even have time to open your mouth to answer that of course you don't know what lemon is good for. For... a cold?

“Welcome, fairy Avery is expecting another visitor.”

You get up, but the person standing by the door tells you to wait. One person may be in the room with the fairy so as not to disturb her aura.

Or something else.

You sit back in your chair and look around the room out of boredom, since there isn't even a signal on your phone here. Finally, you glance at the flyer your friend was looking at a moment ago. Without delving into it, you simply flip through it quickly.

'Frankincense not only smells beautiful, but also has magical powers. Some intensify love, others intuition, there are also those that protect against evil powers...

Numerological matching ...

Venus Prophecy ...

If you want to know what fate has prepared for you and check what awaits you in the near future ... ask the magic ball ...

Tarot Celtic Cross

Amulets and talismans ...'

“That's interesting...”

You whisper under your breath as you see a photo of a confusingly similar stone. The kind you just had around your neck.

You had inherited the necklace from your grandmother, as well as to the pair, earrings and a ring. But in accordance with your grandmother's request, you wore the necklace every day since the day you received it.

Since yesterday being precise. Only yesterday someone from the family in your grandmother's long-abandoned house, found the lost box. With a letter and things for you.

When your friend with a smile on her lips comes out of the fortune teller's room, you want to get out of this place as soon as possible. You did not come here for any divination, tarot, palm reading.

However, the voice again invites another person, and apart from the two of you, there is no one in the hallway.

Slightly pushed by the girl you go into the room.

“I've been waiting a long time for you”.

When the door slams behind you the room falls into semi-darkness. The only sources of light are candles arranged in places.

You approach the most illuminated spot, a small round table in the middle of the room.

A small figure sits on the opposite side and holds one hand over a glass sphere.

If you're wondering what the fairy looked like. Yes, just what you think.

Her face hidden in a storm of loose hair, colorful wide clothes, a mass of necklaces, beads, talismans and rings.

It's hard to tell her age, but judging by her voice, she may already be in her midlife years.

“At me?”

You ask finally approaching the table.

“Sit down, and don't ask questions. The sphere has already told me everything... with the rest, you know very well what awaits you again...”

Sitting down on the chair closely watching the woman, you understand nothing of what she says. Maybe there's really no point in asking her anything, as you won't believe it anyway. Let her say what she has to say, and quickly leave this strange place.

“Four. That's your number, definitely. A strong, strong four. Unbreakable.

The same thing awaits you...yes, but this time it will be ..more intense, more interesting, so... complete. “

In the room as if the wind blew, many candles go out, and your skin went through shivers.

The woman pays no attention to this and continues

“Only this time be guided by your heart, okay? It will be a happy and joyful time, use it. And don't regret anything. Just remember, choose with your heart. Not with the mind.”

With her last word, the room goes dark. You sit slightly puzzled and bewildered.

What actually happened?

Having, once again in this peculiar place, no time to ask questions. The door behind you opens and again that mysterious voice informs you that the visit is over.

Kyle was the first one.

Kyle was the right one.

Kyle.

He just was.

Didn't think I was ready for love again.

Saturday, you walk ahead. Since the morning, you felt a great need to just get out of the apartment, this small cramped place. Claustrophobic.

Sometimes you have days like this, to go out without looking back. To leave everything behind and go. Walk, just simply walk, step by step. Until your legs start to hurt. Or until it gets dark.

Sunk in your thoughts you reach quite far, from home. Your walk has been going on for a good three hours. It has started to rain. You think a little bit and you hide under the canopy of one of the nearest buildings.

Will you catch me if I float?

Glad that you didn't get too wet, on the other hand you curse yourself in your mind. You didn't even take your phone with you, you'll have to wait until it stops raining.

Looking up you sadly conclude that, unfortunately, it doesn't look like the weather is going to change any time soon.

There aren't even any people around, no pedestrians. No one.

Minutes pass, long boring ones.

Finally you hear the sound of an engine, a car approaching at high speed. You think maybe it's a taxi, you step out from under the canopy and at that moment the car drives past you.

Splashing you.

“Fuck! Are you kidding me?”

Angrily you wipe your wet face to see anything. The car has unfortunately already disappeared around the corner, so you weren't even supposed to see what the car was. Even, you couldn't see its color.

You stand like this, on the sidewalk, not caring that the rain is falling on you. You are soaked. Even your hair is wet and stuck to your face. Just like your clothes, they have become heavy and cold. It's like someone threw you into a pool with your clothes on.

I think you even have wet panties.

“Just great!”

You mumble irritably, feeling a lump in your throat. You don't want to cry, but you feel terrible. Not only physically. But somehow mentally, too.

This situation reminds you of the humiliation you experienced because of your physical appearance in the past, at school.

Trying to at least drain the water from your hair and somehow tie it up or braid it. So it doesn't bother you, you don't pay attention that a car has stopped next to you.

Cause I feel gravity, gravity, gravity Pulling you to me, you to me, you to me

“Excuse me? Perhaps, I can somehow...help you?”

A warm and concerned voice gets your attention. You raise your head and freeze.

A few steps in front of you there is a large dark car, a man is looking at you from the open window.

Very handsome. Young. Definitely not from your small town. Probably some sort of passerby.

“Can I help you somehow, ma'am?”

Laughing lightly, he repeats the question. His voice pleasant, like a spring wind, like a meadow full of flowers, like warm tea with honey and raspberries.

Finally you shake it off, and say without thinking much about it.

“Actually, yes.”

Maybe you shouldn't get into the car of a complete stranger, but there's something that tells you to agree, to get in, to finally go home.

You're terribly wet and cold.

You quickly get into the passenger seat fastening your seat belt and giving your address.

You introduce yourself, gently squeezing the man's hand. His hand, despite several scars and hard skin, is warm and very welcoming to you.

It seems the two of you hold hands a few moments longer than the usual greeting should last.

Fixing your hair behind your ear, you smile slightly at the man and slowly let go of his hand. However, despite this, his gaze does not leave your face.

“I'm Kyle...”

The man finally says, turning on the car's engine and slowly moving towards your house.

No oxygen up here Must be gravity, gravity

The drive passes undeniably quickly, the streets at this hour and considering the weather are unusually empty.

You don't exchange many sentences, typically pleasantries. He's here on business, you've lived here all your life.

He can't talk about work, but it's something related to ''safety.''

You, on the other hand, could talk about your work for hours, but you don't want to bore him with scientific babble.

He, when speaking, gesticulates, speaks confidently and laughs loudly.

You, on the other hand, speak quietly, smiling gently. Intimidated.

Actually, you don't know how it happens that a man is already standing in front of your door. He is so charming, kind, friendly. That you agree without thinking as he offers to go to your house under his umbrella.

Truly charming he is.

Putting the key in the lock and opening the door, you turn towards the man

“Maybe as a thank you... I didn't do any shopping, but maybe.... Perhaps you'd like some tea and cake?”

“Sure, a cup of tea is even necessary in this weather.”

He laughs loudly again smiling widely.

You hastily put water in the kettle for tea, gently shivering. Those damn clothes stuck to your skin like wet cold scales.

You quickly prepare cups and plates of cookies. As you turn around to go and finally change into something thick, warm and comfortable. You impetuously bump into the man who inaudibly entered the kitchen and stood a step behind you.

“Excuse me.”

You mumbled embarrassedly. Surely that collision with your weight must have hurt him.

Kyle smiles at you while gently tilting his head

“You're soaked.”

Saying this, he brushes away unruly strands of hair from your face.

You swallow your drool loudly.

Why has the kitchen suddenly become so stuffy? Was it the boiling water that raised the temperature in the small apartment so dramatically?

Oh God no.

It was him.

Kyle.

Grabbing the back of your head, he draws your face to his, and gently kisses you. At first he gently brushes his lips against your lips. But after a while he intensifies the kiss, more greedily. Possessively. With one hand he gently massages the scalp of your head as his other hand wandered over your body, gently squeezing your breasts. Then he lasciviously strokes your belly. His hand slowly makes its way to the line of your pants.

The man between kisses slowly brings out word by word

“Sorry, I never. This is my first time. i mean, never so fast. but, fuck “.

Despite the tangle of words, you understand what he means.

No one ever wanted you the moment they met you. Never has anyone wanted you so quickly.

Should I let go? (Ooh, let go) And lose control? (Ooh, lose control)

In response, you entwine your arms around his neck wanting to show him not to go anywhere. To keep his body even closer to yours.

His hand easily makes its way under the material of your jeans and panties gently poking his fingers into the warm, plush of your lower abdomen. He gently teases the tender skin under your pants with his fingers.

You silently moan involuntarily, his lips slowly directing gentle kisses to your neck.

He is sure to leave marks on you.

As he gently sucks the thin skin close to your pulse, you stiffen, your body is pierced by pleasant shivers.

“Where is the bedroom?”

After these words, you wave your hand roughly in the direction of your small room with a bed and a tiny closet.

When the man finally pulls away from you, with a quiet pop  his lips finally pulled away from your skin.

His hand continued to rest in your panties as he gently and calmly rubbed the area around your clit with his fingertips.

Keeping the last remnants of common sense, you turn off the kitchen to avoid burning the kettle with boiling water.

Tea was no longer needed.

As you and Kyle land on the bed, you on your back, the man slowly kisses every part of your body with precision.

Wet clothes with each passing moment land with a slight sloshing on the floor. You don't even worry about the mess you both leave behind.

Lose my breath in your atmosphere No oxygen up here

Once you're completely naked, Kylie kneels in front of you. Stroking your thick thighs, slowly running his fingers over your fat, and you squirm as the cool air hits your wet cunt.

“Show off your beauty, don't hide.”

He opens your legs, not taking his eyes off your face.

Slightly embarrassed, you bury your head in your hands, your elbows covering your exposed breasts. Your large nipples heap under the change of temperature after removing your wet clothes.

“Baby!”

Kyle says more firmly, gripping your inner thigh cheeks.

“I need to warm you up, you're so soaked.”

After these words, he dives between your legs and, kissing your thighs, moves closer to your center.

You feel his warm breath teasing your sensitive skin.

“You’re so beautiful and wet...”

He mumbles, and after these words. You feel his tongue teasing the area around your rear hole, with a long stroke he directs his tongue upward.

His tongue is rough and hot as he focuses on your clit. First teasing the hard little button with his tongue slowly circling it. Then he starts sucking on it.

“That's it, baby. Just mine.”

You moan louder. His words, the slow play of his mouth and tongue between your wet folds making you feel the growing pleasure in your lower abdomen.

It's been so long, no, never before has anyone taken care of you like this. With such adoration and worship.

“Kyle... I think I'm ~oh!”

Your breathing speeds up

“Come on baby. I'll make you cum with my tongue”

His mouth gently sucks your clitoris, and he caresses your swollen bud with his tongue, speeding up the fun of it.

You reach your first orgasm of the evening. Your legs involuntarily shaking, your rippling belly and breasts gently bouncing during this sudden sensation.

“Honey, are you ready for more?

Kyle rises slowly, kissing your cunt, lifting your legs, kissing your lower abdomen around your breasts and sternum. Leaving wet marks on your skin.

He stops at the valley of your breasts, gently tilting his head and squinting his eyes.

“Um... the stone in the necklace has changed color, interesting.”

He smiles and leans in, kissing you on the lips.

As you kiss him, you can feel your juices mixed with his saliva.

“Ready?”

Kyle catches you below the knees, bringing your legs closer to his chest, one hand grasping his erect member.

Just now you stare intently at his penis. His tip is an dark pink, dripping rich pearls of precum, and fuck, it's thick. It's not long, rather a standard size, but the thickness surprised you.

With amusement, the man looks at you, leaning over you again with one hand resting next to your head. With his other hand, he pumps his protruding shaft with quick, powerful movements.

His tip teases your wet and very tender folds.

“Babe, I need you. Right now, next time... I'll take care of you longer, better, all right?”

You nod. Completely ignoring his words.

He slowly slides into your warm and wet hole. Its walls, although invitingly spread around his cock, tenderly and tightly squeeze him.

Both of you are moaning loudly with pleasure.

He embeds his thick cock deep inside you and starts slowly rocking back and forth.

Rhythmic obscene wet sounds, body slapping against body and increasingly loud sighs fill the room. Kyle grabs your wrists and lifts your arms above your head, crossing and holding them tightly like this. Entering you with more force.

He moves faster and faster inside you. You wrap your legs around his hips so that, thanks to the new angle, he enters you fuller, harder. He moves even faster.

He kisses you again, this time with more force, his tongue forces itself deep into your mouth so that his teeth collide with yours.

His movements are less rhythmic now, but deeper, he places kisses on your cheek, neck, caressing your collarbone.

You reach another orgasm at the same time as you feel the man tighten his body and eat into your neck. His warm cum gushing into your pussy, which, under the influence of another peak, squeezes even more around his throbbing member. His cum fills you and gently mixed with your juices flows out of you, running down your folds

You lie like this entwined for many more moments, gasping loudly, his breath teasing your sweaty, tender neck skin.

Kyle, after taking a few deeper breaths, finally says raising his head and looking into your eyes

"The stone in your necklace, is now canary yellow”

Tossing and turning, I can't get you off my mind Thinking about what you did to me last night Am I in trouble? Should I hit the breaks? Being with you is my favorite mistake

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Venus in the 12th house, what a placement. I saw this thing the other day on Tumblr depicting the placement. It basically said,, having a 12 house Venus or a Libra Venus or an eighth house Venus. And how everyone’s perceptions of you are wrong, now when I was younger, I did have a lot of foreign love, which I point to my 5th house being in Sagittarius. Of lovers from other countries or other races. But yeah, the 12th house Venus is giving it a Pisces Venus feel to it.

, such as here’s an example. He could be in a shop,.. and if you see someone you find attractive and imagine your whole life with them that is very Pisces Venus and it is very 12 house Venus and these people that I put examples I think are really good examples of that placement because often their love is hidden,, people don’t know too much about the Inns and outs of the relationship I mean look at Rihanna and A$AP Rocky. That’s the first relationship you’ve really seen. Eyes on, and obviously, she’s had children with him,m, but before that. It was kind of a mystery. In fact, I think Rihanna is probably bisexual because of her closeness to people like Cara Delevingne and Katy Perry. But as Wendy Williams said. And this could be the false perceptions people have. Brianna is a good-time girl. She’s not the girl that you have settled down with.

, then you have Elon Musk, who’s actually been a piece of the shit and a lot of his relationships, starting with his first wife when he was starting to get rich, by his side the whole time egging him on and helping him. And being supportive when he had nothing, and when they expressed up, he didn’t even give her any child support. And every other girlfriend or wife he’s had afterward has turned blonde.. which is a bit of a weird thing, but yeah, that’s really sucky what you did to his first partner. But like I said, it gets hidden, or we don’t hear about it for a long time, and a lot of people don’t even sometimes know who the 12 has been his partner is, or they might be the one who’s hidden. Then you have Adele. Who has written albums depicting bad breakups?. Ups and downs and swells with tribulations, which obviously has a lot to do with that placement. I think when you have a Pisces Venus or a 12-hour Venus, you just don’t have much luck in love, and when you see other people in love, you realize. Even more so.

, you could fall in love like I said with somebody on the checkout and imagine your life together but at the same time you see yourself as in a certain light and want your life to be like that and falling in love with fixing new characters there’s a common trait of displacement too. Fetches somebody in a story or a TV show.

Then you have both the Hadid sisters, Bella and Gigi. With both of them, you don’t really see either of their relationships, especially Bella, kind of like a Kendall Jenner situation. She’s the only one who doesn’t have children in the Kardashian-Jenner clan.. and people say that the family is quite homophobic, so they wouldn’t want her sexuality to be revealed. She was with the weekend for such a long time, but he would have other relationships with people such as Selena Gomez and others, and JJ had a child with Zayn Malik of One Direction previously. And you don’t really know too much about her relationship life either this is all the trials and tribulations of having a 12-hour sweetness and then you have Gemma James who’s a Pisces Venus putting much the same kind of thing going on, if your sign is in the 12th house but on a different side it’s going to have a Pisces energy to it, so you could have a lot of deceptions going on secrets, In relationships in relationships or being used up escapism, Using relationships as an escapism I can remember from the youngest age possible that I always wanted to fall in love it was my biggest addiction and still is to this day that initial thing of falling in love and finding that person and then once it’s gone you feel like you’ve lost a bit of your soul. So if you have this place where my heart goes out to you then a very good example of this is Camilla Parker Bowles.. who I know people have a lot of uproar and anger towards but really it wasn’t her fault it was the royal family who didn’t want Charles to be with someone who he clearly has loved first centuries no I’m joking decades. They didn’t let him leave the woman he loved, which ended up hurting a lot of people,, especially Princess Diana. So, I have compassion for both people and Camilla. Was married and having us there and a lot of it was in secrecy. But they still had this really close bond that nobody even knew about, which is very 12 houses in general, similar to Moon Bay, and it’s also, but this one is more love. I mean, it’s more emotions in general. I hope you enjoyed this and it helped

[malebodyexhibit]

A Master and his Toys (a Next Door Boy tale)

Possession is the typical service provided by NDB, but that’s for people with no imagination. You have access to dozens of straight, fit, young men and you don’t want to be their masters? Sure you can take over someone’s body and fuck twinks ’til your cock and balls are dry. Or, you can rent 3 dumb, blond, straight jocks and have the agency adjust their behavior.

This 19-year-old twunk is a business major from Texas. I call him Rosebud. He’s your standard Republican trust fund baby who couldn’t hack it in university and got cut off from his parents. He drifted from girlfriend to girlfriend, mooching off them and cheating behind their backs. Eventually, he ended up as talent for NDB. He didn’t want to be possessed by some gay guy, but he was up for a minor reprogramming via his implant. I told him it was an obedience mod and pleasure mod. The pleasure mod being a love for gay sex. Now he loves showing off his body. I often kiss his neck when he’s being a good boy. He loves when I buy him a new jock strap. He can be a bit too much sometimes. For example, when I’m trying to watch the game, he crawls beside me and grinds himself against me. I sometimes just decide to give him a quick fuck. He doesn’t mind if he doesn’t cum, as long as he gets to feel me explode in him, but sometimes I just turn off his mods so he returns to his straight jock mind. He gets so embarrassed and tries to cover himself up, but a kiss from me and his love for attention kicks back into gear. When I’m at work, I have the other guys top him so he doesn’t get too lonely.

I call this one Jack-O. He’s a 28-year-old personal trainer from Colorado. He’s pretty easy going unlike Rosebud. He wanted to work for NBD but not have anyone else in control of his mind and body. He consented to a pleasure mod though. I told him it would just work on his drive for working out. He’d still be in his body, controlling his decisions. That much was true, but I had him have a strong lust for my  workout musk. After a tough workout, I toss him my sweat-soaked gear so he can lick it clean. I had to tie his arms up because he kept pulling my socks and underwear off. I spent a few days in my house completely naked ‘cause he just strips me and slobbers on my clothes. If I don’t shower quickly enough, he pounces on me and gives me a tongue bath. Because this is so closely tied to sex, he drips precum around the house and I have to be careful where I step. He’s almost always erect, but I had him unable to ejaculate until I stroked him myself. Otherwise, he’d just be spraying the house in his spunk. Jack-O has a fiancé, but he agreed to a no-contact during his contract duration. Yet that seemed heartless of me, so I sometimes have Rosebud wear his fiancé’s perfume then have Jack-O mount him to workout his sexual frustrations. I have, of course, turned off Jack-O’s mods so I could see his confusion as he’s sniffing my used underwear and his horror at his tied up body and his erect, dripping cock.

Spot is his name. This 33-year-old mechanic from Colorado joined NDB for easy money like everyone else. He highly values his body and mind, so he also chose to not be possessed. He’s a straight bachelor who used to bring home a woman. He’d treat her right and flirt for a week, but he’d cut them loose after things get too comfortable. I asked him about mods, and he didn’t have a problem with it. He just wanted to make sure he didn’t do gay shit. So I gave him a perception mod. He believes me, Rosebud, and Jack-O are women. I also tweaked with his pleasure mod and and obedience mod. Spot does all the chores in the house. He sweeps (hence, ‘you missed a spot’), mops up Jack-O’s happy trail on the floor, spots the other two during their workout to keep their rock hard bodies. He also tops them so he can keep himself happy. He loves to eat out their pussy (really it’s their cocks) and pound their pussy (their ass) and fondle their breasts (pecs). If I didn’t tape his mouth, he’d just ramble on and on since he just wants to prove how smart he is. With Spot, I never turn off his mod, but I do find myself blowing him. He thinks I’m one of his many female conquests, so it’s sweet to have him wrap his arms around me, but even sweeter to have him on all fours sweeping dirt from under the couch.

So that’s my collection. I’m not overly malicious. Everything was written out in the fine print. If they read carefully, they’d know what each mod entailed. NDB fully requires consent. At the end of their service (like one month), they’ll be returned to their normal mental state. But in the past, many prefer their new simpler lives.

[torusdove]

I'm doing my best to stop being a lurker, so here are some Nanami headcannons, pls forgive me if my English isn't the best, it's not my first language 🙏🏽

Nanami HATES it when someone calls you his girlfriend, something inside him dies everytime someone calls you that, it's too casual for him, that's his WIFE bro even if she isn't (yet)

Nanami is chronic sweater and cardigan wearer

Nanami isn't a fan of strong fragrances, however he still smells VERY VERY clean, sometimes, SOMETIMES he'll wear the woodsy cologne that you got him for special occasions, and even then, it's 2 sprays

Pls excuse my English 🙏🏽

Your English is perfect, don't you worry about a thing, sweetheart!

I wholeheartedly agree with the first oneee!! I don't even see Kento dating someone when he doesn't see a future with that person (I am fully convinced he wants the whole traditional way: get married, buy a house, two, maybe three kids, two cats and a big yard). So, it's not really a surprise that he calls you wifey, even if you're only just dating.

Honestly, about the sweater and cardigan.. yes and no. I view Kento as an old money kind of guy, if you know what I mean. His style is sleek, formal but also casual (if you want me to show you pictures of what I mean, do let me know).

The last one I disagree with! Yes, Kento is very very very clean and smells nicely, however, he does love his parfume. I see him using woody, leather scents and musk. Something dark and heavy, very masculine (Dior Sauvage or Terre d'Hermès).

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

This SAD attempt.

You are doing the same thing larries do, he said hi but that's it, you don't know that

I was around when this happened. This is what was shared by the fans that took the video and posted it.

they were at a soccer match but didn't speak, again you don't know that you werent there.

Harry's view vs Louis' view

They were on different levels of the stadium too which didn't connect to each other.

The old tweets were fake but your screenshot are real?

The only screenshots of tweets I used in my posts were the George and Hannah ones, but you can literally look up their handles on Twitter and you'll find fans quoting them word for word. The accounts were deleted, do you want me to threaten Elon Musk to reactivate them?

The tweet in the messages you sent was fake. Nobody in 2012 took screenshots of it and posted it. It only came around after George had already deleted his account. Use your brain for two seconds I beg,

Again all those screenshots from both sides could be fake, the tweets aren't there anymore so yours may not be real either.

The other tweets are real, here's random fans quoting them

Here's proof that George said Louis got a GIRLFRIEND, a Larrie fan is "correcting" him by saying he got a "boyfriend actually"

Here's factual proof that the "cheated on my sister with a guy" tweet isn't real. This is from a big Larry blog, posted at the time of the tweets.

I have not seen Nial and Louis in the same room for a while but I would say they were friends.

I wouldn't say they're friends. I would say they're friendly. They've met up a few times since the band broke up.

Larries have blogs upon blogs doing this type of stuff, and for what? Yours is just the same, but if not worse, it's to hate on people, tear people's careers down under the "I'm just speaking my truth, educating people"

You're using a fallacy called "false equivalence."

Me saying that I don't think Harry and Louis are friends because there's no evidence of them being friends is not the same as a Larrie saying they think they're married even though there's no evidence they're even friends. I'm just believing what my eyes see, what my ears here, and what reality shows.

Larries create an alternate reality that's completely different from what we can perceive. If I were to say that Harry hates Louis and avoids him or badmouths him. If I were to say that Harry was forced to go to the X Factor after Johannah passed and that he almost didn't go to Liam's funeral because Louis would be there. If I were to say that Harry ran the opposite way at the Euros final when he saw Louis, then that would be the same as what Larries do.

What I believe is what I have evidence of. Tangible, verifiable, concrete evidence. Not a made up reality.

If Harry and Louis have only been in the same room twice in the past 10 years, as far as we know, and both times was when someone passed away, and you come here and tell me they're "friends." That's fanfiction. There's no evidence of that.

you dont care for him thats fine, you don't need to listen to him.

I know, which is why I don't.

What if Louis has internalised homephobia and anxiety,

Well, he's said he's straight and refuses to see a therapist, and I'm going to believe what he says, no a random person's "what if"

he's been learning guitar but nervous to play on stage?

He's 33 years old and has been in the music industry for 14. He's not a fucking child. Jesus Christ.

He was so shy when his first tour started, and he's overtime become more confident, thats a lovely thing to see,

He had gone on FIVE tours before he went solo. FIVE. He had toured stadiums. He had spoken to 75,000 people chanting his band's name. He had performed in every fucking continent.

Why do y'all treat these GROWN ASS MEN like fucking CHILDREN.

it's sad your jumping to conclusions that he's just an awful person who's faking it

I'm not jumping to conclusions. He has shown to be an awful person. If you spent your teenage years bullying kids for being gay, and then continued to have homophobic attitudes in your adulthood, then you're an awful person. I don't think he's faking anything. I think he's being pretty straightforward with who he is.

there could be other reasons, same way there's many reasons to explain why some ppl think its larry proof when it's not, but you all seem so set on your narrative none of you will look at other possibilities

I'm not the morality police and I hate hypocrisy. I think everyone has problematic attitudes and beliefs. Each person will have a different weakness.

Do I think Louis is an asshole for his homophobic attitude? Sure. Do I think he should be canceled and stoned to death? No. I personally don't like him or his music, but that's because I don't like him or his music. Not because of something he did in 2009. I don't need to moralize my personal taste.

Louis is an asshole and I don't like him. But I don't not like him because he's an asshole. He could become the savior of the gays and I still wouldn't like him.

When I point out that he's had homophobic attitudes in the past it's not because "your fave is problematic." It's because his fanbase is full of conspiracy theorists who think he's queer, and I think that bears the correction.

He's also had a ton of racists attitudes but you don't see me making posts about that.

[fluffyzoey]

going quietly

estelle kelley has visions. unthankfully she’s gotten used to them

Estelle opened her eyes slowly. She knew exactly where she was…or rather, she knew where she wasn’t, and that was home. The scene in front of her was like something from a dream; cold and inhospitable, yet she’d gotten so used to the whirl of light and sound and eyes, bloody blinking eyes, that it was almost familiar, nostalgic.

The sky was hued like lavender, the hills that rolled beneath it coated in twitching, tweaking eyeballs, all turning to stare at Estelle the moment her own lids had fluttered open. And from the ground beneath her feet, she could practically hear the squish of the gooey orbs as she took a step. On the outside, chances were she was sobbing, if not already passed out. 

She called it dreamland. Or at least, that’s how she described it to Zoey. She could hear the stress in her loved ones’ voices: “is she going to dreamland? Is that why she’s like this?” Always happened at the worst times, but calling it something so innocent made it better, at least she hoped.

She ignored the unease and took a breath. The air here didn’t have the same refreshing quality as it did in the real world, it flooded her nostrils like a tidal wave, thick with the scent of blood and musk. 

She took another step, the jelly-like texture of the eye she’d toed at making an uncomfortable squelching noise. The whole world was staring at her, whether from high in the sky or from right beneath her feet. The initial comfort had worn off and the eyes stared deep into her soul.

Back when the visions first started happening, Estelle would wail and whine in protest, kick and scream and throw a fit, loud enough to alert at least someone to what was happening. Now she went quietly, slipping away into dreamland before anyone noticed what was wrong. 

She was used to it.

Just like her mother must have been.

As Estelle took step after step, she began to lose sight of where she started. Not that it was all that hard, there wasn’t a single landmark to really put anything into perspective, but she continued this way, or perhaps that way, over, under, inside out and upside down, whirling, twirling, blinking, blinking, blinking–

Another figure.

She had never seen another person here. Who else could have been here? Who else was Blinky tormenting?

It was a woman, that was clear as day, or night, really. The cycle didn’t work well here. She was about the same height as Estelle, with the same ginger curls, the same button nose and caramel-brown eyes, the plump pink lips and the soft skin dotted with freckles.

It was like looking into a mirror, like staring at the branches of your own family tree. 

Estelle held her arms out for an embrace, waiting to crash into her mother’s arms for the first time in twenty-one years. 

“Estelle! Jesus Christ, are you okay?” Callum’s hands clutched her shoulders, shaking her. She wearily came back to reality. 

She was sitting on a chair in the living room on top of Zoey’s lap, with Callum standing in front of her looking panicked. “We thought you were dying, why didn’t you let us know you were going?”

“No need. I have to go, I…I miss my mom.”

“She’s going insane.” Callum threw his hands up. “Estelle, listen. Your mother is not alive!”

“She is there!” Estelle shrieked, only calming down when she felt Zoey’s hands on her sides.

“You gotta tell us when it happens.” She whispered.

“You can’t just go quietly.” Callum added.

Estelle shrunk down against her girlfriend, the lingering scent of her mother’s perfume settling in her nose.

[cherrysurf]

self ships ⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Shoris; shoyo + iris

ocean musk smell vs fruit candy scent

“love on the other side of the world”

our songs; la flaca- jarabe de palo, kingston- faye webster, pyramids- frank ocean , carolina, carol bela- word & jorge ben & toquinho

How did they meet? back during his first year training in brazil, she was out on the beach playing soccer with a group of randoms, hinata approached to ask to play the best he could in broken portuguese. She looked at him confused because she only spoke spanish and english, he later found out when one of the guys that was in the group mentioned it to him in the best way he could. Which now meant he asked her to teach him english and spanish in return he’d teach her japanese she politely agreed interested in the suntanned ginger…

our fics; june 20th 2016.

osis; osamu + iris

how to cook my girlfriends childhood dishes

“boyfriend who keeps his clumsy girlfriend in check”

our songs; cool with you- new jeans, like- bts, some- steve lacy

iris would come into osamu’s onigiri shop whenever she wanted a snack (which was all the time) she became his regular he got to know her more which also expanded he’s cooking horizons he wanted to learn her favorite mexican dishes she wasn’t able to find in japan when she didn’t want to cook, safe to say he won her heart and stomach and got her a “cute girly job” as his cashier (cute girly job was her saying)

kenris; kenma + iris

“yeah babe buy whatever you want”

lazy rich bf x hyper maintained gf

our songs; hello?- clairo, Lovers rock- tv girl, no one noticed- the maria’s

Kenma and Iris met back in college when she heard from her dear friend that Kenma knew how to fix laptops, she approached the pudding haired man when she saw him at a cafe. He shockingly agreed to help the girl but after much effort on the laptop it couldn’t be fixed so he just bought her a new one without thinking twice about it. It blossomed into a beautiful friendship that later fell naturally into them growing fond of each other and being in a relationship without saying it. They just knew what it was and iris doesn’t want a job, and kenma doesn’t care he likes being able to take care of his girlfriend

irumi; iris + iwaizumi

“the love like a 4 leaf clover”

clam very aware bf x oblivious gf

our songs; heavy- the maria’s, sienna- the maria’s, who- jimin, standing next you- jungkook, mi manera de querer- natalia lafourcade

This lovely pair was at the right place at the right time. Iris arrived back in Japan from mexico. Iris was looking for a place to open a tiny bakery to show off her skills for her favorite Mexican pastries, also her amazing coffee and champurrado (aka better version of hot chocolate). iwaizumi being a personal trainer and always needed something quick on the go found comfort in iris’ shop iris being excited to make a new friend decided to invite him over for dinner a mexican dish since she said “you seem really fond of the desserts you should try our food” he didn’t want to miss an opportunity with a pretty girl, since then it’s always been iwaizumi and yn now living together iris making lunches for her lovely boyfriend before they head off to work, it was a rare love that happened outta the blue iwaizumi always said “meeting iris was like finding a four leaf clover in a field after you almost gave up any hope thinking 4 leafed clovers were real”

dairis; daichi + iris

“cat and mouse game”

super attentive bf x obsessed gf

our songs; mini skirt- aoa, shinunoga e-wa- fujii kaze, Back to me- the rose, Too sweet- hozier, jasmine- DPR live

Think of warm freshly baked cinnamon rolls with extra icing. This was the best way to describe daichi and iris’ relationship but it wasn’t always like this. You see iris had fallen in love with dachi her 1st year of highschool while daichi being in his 2nd year, he politely rejected her advances but during her second year and his third year they became great friends. A few years later after highschool they were still amazing friends yet the table had turned and daichi found himself falling for the girl that had once liked him way before he did, so when he confessed she rejected his advances because two can play that game except daichi wasn’t going to lose. He knew iris. better than anyone did and he knew that she wanted him to grovel and yearn like how she once did so he did. He was determined to make her his, and that’s how they got married and at the wedding she said “you guys were playing chess and i was playing checkers” to the crowd signifying she would wait however long to be with him, and he loved that about her “YES BABE YOU DID GO YOU!” daichi screamed in support oh man did he love her. which caused the crowd to burst in cheers

tba..

[creepylittlelady]

can we honestly e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person… I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your girlfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninsterested in me it hecking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i’m begging you to eaither love me back or remove me and never contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you dont love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life.

I will suck Elon Musks’ toes right in front of you and then hit a Fortnite Battle Royale

[thesoftboiledegg]

OK guys, I have a confession to make today: I am a dudebro. The tech geniuses in my Elon Musk discord sent me here to infiltrate Tumblr. I chug a Toxic Rick energy drink every morning even though it makes my bones rattle and spiders crawl at the edges of my vision. I go to Birdrick threads on Reddit, comment "is rick gay," get two downvotes and leave. Every day, I pray that Rick will say "I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right" in the show so that I can point at the shirt that I'm wearing with the same phrase on it and say "Haha, it's official now! You to want hear me say it out loud? Huh? You want me to throw that badassery right in your face? Fuck up my McDonald's order one more time, and it's coming at you!" Do it, Rick. Do it for me.

I've jacked it to Rick a few times, but I only did that because it was funny. In fact, it was funnier than everything in seasons 4-6 combined. I think that Rick and Morty has been the worst shit on TV since season three, but I haven't stopped watching it. Instead, I watch every new episode and make rage-fueled videos in my $1,000 gaming chair. This week's topic: Rick and Morty has gone woke. What was up with that joke in season five about the cops being racist? The cops aren't racist! They kill ALL races equally, Jesus Christ.

Anyway, back to Birdrick: I KNOW that Birdrick is platonic because I tell my male friends that I love them all the time. That's not romantic. In fact, I say it while looking directly into their eyes, thinking about all the great times that we had together, thinking that they should leave their bitch of a girlfriend because I know more about Rick and Morty than she ever will. I think about how hilarious it would be if we went on a long vacation and shared a hammock and watched the sun set, the light glittering on the waves as insects start to hum in the grass. Haha, it's all a joke, bro.

Once, I was DJing in a club and trying to figure out how to play Kanye West's entire discography at once when a guy handed me an acid tab with Morty's screaming face on it. I flew off into outer space and floated around until Rick picked me up in his ship. We made out for a while so that he could teach me how to make out with all the hot alien babies on Neptune. Of course, I already know how to make out with babes because I kissed a chick wearing a Rick and Morty hoodie once. She was clearly shit at it because I didn't enjoy it, and I should have known better because girls, queers and Tumblrinas don't actually like Rick and Morty. They just pretend to like it because they want male attention.

Oh, I'm sorry--CIS male attention. Is that woke enough for you? And by the way, libsharts: Rick is a CIS MALE. I would know because he runs around naked in every other episode, and I made a compilation of every scene for hard evidence. Cry about it all you want, but you're not going to win this debate. No one's looked at Rick Sanchez naked more than me!

Anyhoo, Rick called out the woke crowd in the season one classic "Raising Gazorpazorp," which brilliantly deconstructs feminazi bullshit, especially Rick's speech at the end. Something about Rick's voice really sells it. Something about the way it's so gravely but familiar at the same time, like rain hitting a tin roof while we're sipping iced tea on the porch. Do you ever feel like you're only going out with girls because all your bros are doing it?

HAHA uh, Birdrick is a sack of puke and just the thought of it makes me shit rage diarrhea. (Uh oh, was that too CRUDE for the purity police? Well, get used to it, because I have to.) If I ever see a Bird Person cosplayer on the streets of LA, I'm going to hit him with my Tesla, killing him instantly. I'm hoping that it might explode a little bit for maximum damage. In fact, I'm just going to program my Tesla to hit every pedestrian that resembles a human-sized bird. It's in Elon Musk's genius hands now!

So what the fuck has happened to Rick and Morty? That show was great before they hired women writers. I'm pretty sure that they hired a bunch of queers, too, because only a gay man would come up with that suit and tie he wore in season six. He looked way too good in that outfit. Which one of you homos designed that shit? Jesus Christ, get out of the writers' room and let the straight men take control again. If I ever win a giveaway or something and get to visit the studio, I better be surrounded by men!

Season one was just winner after winner and winner. We need to get back to the original show--the REAL show--where Rick was a cool-headed and rational scientist instead of the weeping "wah wah I'm so sad morty" baby we're stuck with now. I would know because I'm basically the real-life Rick. I say what I want, when I want. Don't like it? Too bad. You just don't want to hear the truth. Rick Sanchez walked so that white men with beards could run...to their Teslas and run over Bird Person cosplayers, killing them instantly.

And Rick USED to tell the truth. Love is a chemical reaction, nothing means anything, existence is pain, marriage is bullshit (ESPECIALLY when you're married to a female), everyone's too politically correct now, it's stupid that we can't call stuff "retarded," "PICKLE RICK!!!!!", focus on science, girls are too sensitive about everything. Wubba lubba dub dub! Shit, what does that mean again? I'm so used to saying that at parties when someone hands me a Rick and Morty bong and I just smoke whatever's in it because that's what Rick would do. I think I smoked oregano a couple of weeks ago. My nostrils have been burning ever since, but I'm sure it's fine. Nothing can kill a man who pounds Toxic Rick energy drinks!

Haha, wouldn't it be funny if I left the last two words off that last sentence? That would be the funniest shit ever. I'm crying with laughter!

People didn't understand Dan Harmon's genius when they whined about the show, and it apparently made him so depressed that he gave up and surrendered to the woke crowd. Christ, I hate the Internet. I only get on here to check Reddit, scroll through Elon Musk's Twitter feed and see if Dan Harmon updated his Instagram. He reminds me of Rick a lot. They're both geniuses, but the major difference with Dan Harmon is that he's got that scraggly beard. It's probably scratchy when you make out with him. I took a bunch of molly at a party once and kissed a guy who looked like a lumberjack because I thought he was a lady lumberjack, and his beard was pretty scratchy. I said "Wow, that's what kissing Dan Harmon is like!" And he said "Want to go back to my place?" And I said "Fuck no, you're not ACTUALLY Dan Harmon." LOL!!!!!!!

Remember when I mentioned McDonald's at the start? I've been in Mickey D's this whole time, and if you're wondering how I had time to type this, it's because the 16-year-old fucktards behind the counter don't know what they're doing. (And yes, I'm getting McNuggets! Haha! #szechaunsauce) Rick wouldn't put up with this shit. Not only is he a badass, but he's got badass friends all over the galaxy who would back him up. I had a dream a month ago where Rick was hanging out with these buff guys that were probably his personal bodyguards. Some weird stuff happened, and when I told my therapist about it, she said "It sounds like you had a dream about Rick having sex with a group of men," and I said "No, I didn't," and she said "You just loudly and audibly said that you had a dream about Rick having sex with a group of men," and I said "Haha, I was manipulating you! I'm a master manipulator like Rick! It was a social experiment! What made you think about gay sex anyway? If I said 'And then Rick got gangbanged by a bunch of dudes' and you immediately thought 'Wow, it sounds like you had a gay sex dream,' that's on you, honey! Hear me? THAT'S ON YOU!!!'"

So, uh...

Let's close this off with a classic: Wubba lubba dub dub! Haha. Anyway, since you Tumblrites love analyzing every frame of every episode because it makes you feel like you "get it" (spoiler alert: you don't), why is this GIF so hypnotic? I've been watching it for twenty minutes and can't figure it out.

Lord have mercy.