#my fucking husband made a fucking joke about our puppy who always has an erection being a rapist

[mkantor]

Very grateful for radblr tonight. After a day of dealing with men and feeling like I’m going insane for thinking that women deserve better than they get, that maybe men shouldn’t make light of things like rape, it is a relief to talk to women who get it.

[cultofbeatles]

beginners guide to the beatles

 made one of these a long time ago but i'm surprised by how short it was. so here we go again. doing it right this time lol. 

pov: you told a bad joke and now the beatles are judging you. 

john winston lennon. later in his life known as john winston ono lennon. 

born on october 9, 1940 

i believe in astrology bc how does john just happen to be a libra 

when john was four he started living with his aunt mimi who acted more as his mother figure 

his mother, julia, remarried and would visit him quite a bit.

it was julia who taught john how to play banjo and piano. and she bought his first guitar.

they both had a deep love for music and rock n roll 

he never really thought of her as his mother but more as a cool friend i suppose 

aunt mimi was more rough on him and did the disciplining 

his father was never really present growing up and his uncle passed away when he was young 

he thought he was a curse for the men in his family 

he had five half siblings. two of them, julia and jacqueline, he was pretty close to. the other three he barely knew. 

fashion icon.

hated school but loved art 

very early on he was insecure with himself 

teachers always shit on him and said he would go nowhere in life 

he met paul at a church fete on july 6, 1957 

paul taught him how to play guitar properly.

once told paul that he didnt know how paul carried on after his mother died bc he just didn't think he could do it 

john’s mother died from being hit by an off duty policemen. john was seventeen at the time. 

 he took her death really hard and became a bit of a recluse. 

first serious relationship was with cynthia (we stan her) 

once cynthia cut her hair short and he didn't talk to her for two days. 

hate men. kill all men. 

when he asked her to dance at a party she turned him down saying that she was engaged, and so he said “well i didn't ask you to fucking marry me, did i?” 

slapped her once bc he was drunk and another boy was talking to her.

only time her hit her.

read cynthia’s books about john pls. i beg. 

once a psychic told him that he would be shot in the states.

founder of the beatles and also came up with the name.

instruments he could play: guitar, harmonica, rhythm guitar, banjo, keyboard, piano, saxophone, bass guitar, and a little drums. 

main songwriter in the beatles along with paul.

was more open minded to change in the beatles music. 

was insecure in his relationship with paul after a while bc he thought he only needed him for songwriting. 

would bitch about paul all day long but the second anyone else said something about him he’d be on their ass. 

had a lot of issues and needed a good hug. 

suffered from eating disorders, drug addictions, depression, insecurities, and questioned his sexuality bc of the time. 

was super open minded and ahead of his time in many instances. 

once he was called “the fat beatle” and after that he stopped eating as much.

truly loved his first son, julian lennon, and would buy him presents all the time bc he was excited to see him play with them.

“your famous ex husband”

he enjoyed playing monopoly. 

he once claimed that he saw a ufo.

he had written three books but he always wanted to write a children's book.

 the last song he ever performed in front of a live audience was “i saw her standing there.” with elton john.

he was afraid of the dark. 

found out later in his life that he was dyslexic. 

was also legally blind without glasses.

never could catch a break huh.

said that his best lyric ever was “all you need is love” i agree.

the first time yoko and john met was not at her art exhibit but actually when she approached him about giving away songs for free.

wanted to write a musical with paul. 

once a friend dared him to masturbate ten times in one day and he managed to do it nine times.

would hold circle jerks with paul and a few other friends. 

just dudes being dudes. 

went on a holiday with brian epstein, who was gay, and told some people afterward that they did certain sexual things. but we will never know for sure.

yoko says that john was bisexual.

once in an interview he said that he would of married a rich man or woman if he wasn't in the beatles. 

hated his voice on records. would always ask for effects on his voice for final recordings. 

made a film with yoko where it was just his penis going from flaccid to erect for fifteen minutes in slow motion. 

only beatle not to of become a vegetarian while he was alive. 

murdered on december 8, 1980.

gave his autograph earlier in the day to the man who would murder him.

died at the age of 40.

“all my loving” was played while he was at the hospital.

and its spooky bc a lot of times in interviews he would say “when i'm 40..” 

and it’s sad bc he was finally becoming who he truly wanted to be. 

honorable john moments that i love:

“thanks for the purpler hearts” he says while receiving the silver heart 

“you are the first person from liverpool that i've ever seen” “great”

eric lennon on my mind today 

this come together performance where he messed up the lyrics lol

that interview where paul was sick and john keep checking on him 

john lennon speaking nothing but facts 

when he said that he could see the beatles going separate ways but that they'd always come back together.

SHUT UP 

“shut up while he’s talking..”

this interview breaks my heart sometimes 

and this interview is great as well 

sir james paul mccartney 

born on june 18, 1942

if you ever have spare time just check out this man’s natal chart. 

idk how he’s still alive with his chart tbh. 

he has a younger brother named mike and a step sister named ruth. 

his dad thought he was the ugliest baby he’d ever seen when he was born. 

when he was young paul would kill frogs in a way to prepare himself for the war if he ever was drafted. 

the first instrument he ever learned to play was the trumpet.

I don't even want to list every instrument this man can play but trust me when I say it’s a lot.

but for the beatles he mainly did bass, vocals, and piano. sometimes playing the guitar and the drums.

the beatles was just paul moving really, really fast. 

he lost his mother when he was 14 due to surgery for breast cancer.

never really learned how to cope well with loss of a loved one tbh. 

had the cutest chubby cheeks as a kid tbh 

met john and was accepted into his band 

sometimes they'd ditch school together and either work on music or would visit art galleries.

went to paris with john and john bought him all the banana milkshakes that he wanted.

connected over their love and admiration for music, and bc they had both lost their mothers. 

had a girlfriend’s mom who he would make comb his leg hairs. 

was an ass to his first girlfriend.

kill all men again. 

almost had to marry his girlfriend dot bc she was pregnant, but she ended up losing the baby.

was the one who introduced george harrison to john.

practically despised pete best and stuart stutcliffe bc they were bringing the group down. 

got arrested along with pete best bc they lit a condom on fire in hamburg.

still felt awful and a little guilty when stuart died suddenly. 

main force behind the beatles imo. 

without him we’d have not as much beatles music as we do. 

was dating jane asher throughout majority of the sixties. 

when they first met they talked about syrup and paul fell in love.

they broke things off after she walked in on him sleeping with another woman though.

directed magical mystery tour and it was amazing and I don't care what anyone says ok?

when john divorced cynthia he was the only one not scared of john and went against his wishes of not speaking to cynthia.

was a little controlling at times. 

has a good heart though. 

mal evans had to drive him home once after a beatles sessions bc he was crying so hard. 

was talking about getting the band back to touring when john said he was leaving the group. 

everyone kind of turned against him when the beatles were breaking up and i hate it.

he just wanted what was best for the band.

married linda and had a nice little farm. 

we love that story.

linda i'm free thursday if you want to hang out pls.

started up the whole “no meat monday” thing where you don't eat monday on mondays

food meat. not the other kind of meat.

children: james mccartney, stella mccartney, heather mccartney, mary mccartney, and beatrice mccartney. 

rip martha. 

WINGS!! 

he lost linda in 1998 due to cancer.

 cried for a whole year bc of it.

still has dreams about john and says they're nice.

wrote a sad song about john called “here today.”

really loved john. like..he truly, genuinely did. 

want someone to love me like paul does john. 

“think of me every now and then old friend.”

honorable paul moments:

his story about george’s dad 

“john? he was beautiful. very beautiful.”

humpty dumpty rap 

another story about him and george.

his google search video that I watch every week 

this 

george harrison 

born: February 24, 1943 

or at least we think 

bc he use to say that his birthday was february 25, but later started saying it february 24. 

why can't we change our birthdays its not like we picked it 

he was the youngest child.

baby of the family and of the beatles awwww

two older brothers named harry and peter. one older sister named louise.

when george’s mom was pregnant with him she’d play sitar music.

his mom was super supportive of his career choice 

when he was 16 he worked as an electricians apprentice.

his dad kind of hoped he would start a family business out of it.

george said nah

would ride the bus opposite way of his house just to spend time with paul 

headbutted a kid bc he didn't think they were worthy of paul’s friendship 

was brought into the band bc of paul insisting to john 

would follow john around like a lost puppy when he first met him 

once had an eight hour erection. don't ask me how idk he said it.

was 17 when he lost his virginity and the other band members were in the room watching and cheered him when he finished 

most sex craved beatle tbh 

once walked into a girls dressing room and asked if they could stand there so he could masturbate 

he was the first beatle to go to america 

got a black eye for defending ringo once 

would make john and paul take turns sharing rooms with ringo when he first joined the band so that he felt more welcomed 

when ringo left during the white album and then came back george decorated the studio with flowers for him 

during the beatles first recording session he told george martin that he didn't like his tie

became a vegetarian at 22 

favorite candy was jelly beans and purple was his favorite color 

used the phrase “grotty” in the hard days night movie, hated it, but everyone else picked up on the slang 

met his first wife, pattie boyd, on the set of a hard days night 

was turned down by her at first 

they married in 1966

wouldn't let her do modeling stuff and was kind of an ass 

a stylish couple but not the best image for a healthy relationship 

got into eastern religion around 1965 

during the Hamburg days he would eat chicken on stage 

had an affair with ringo’s first wife maureen 

got a divorce from pattie in 1977

in 1978 he married olivia who he stayed with until his death and had one son with. dhani.

was the first beatle to hit a number one single and album. 

was buddies with led zeppelin

inspired their “rain song” 

smashed a piece of cake on john bonham’s head and then was thrown into the pool by him 

he financed and produced films. had a production company.

tom petty said that george never shut up once you started talking to him 

but he was often referred to as “the quiet beatle”

formed another band called the traveling wilburys

he’d answer questions online in the 2000′s and it’s the cutest thing ever and his answers break my heart too.

“what do you miss most about john lennon?” “john lennon.”

in 1999 a schizophrenic person broke into his house and stabbed him 40 times 

thank god olivia was there bc she was the only braincell in the room 

had to get a part of his lung taken out 

died november 29, 2001 from lung cancer 

ashes were scattered into the ganges river 

honorable george moments:

this interview he did with ringo 

“i'm sad bc i can't play guitars with john anymore. but i did that...i know we’ll meet again some day.”

when he invented reaction videos 

“the wind was blowing.” “..blowing my girl?”

“what kind of girl do you like?” “john’s wife.”

sir richard starkey aka ringo starr 

born on july 7, 1940 

oldest member in the group 

has no siblings 

naturally was left handed but his grandma thought it was bad luck so he writes right handed, and plays drums with a right handed kit 

but does everything else left handed

when he was 6 he fell into a two month coma 

was a very sick child 

when he was 13 he was in the hosiptal for tuberculosis and formed a hospital band 

grew up poor 

loves and looked up to his stepfather a lot 

his step father bought him his first drum kit in 1957

wasn't that great in school bc he missed so much of it from being so sick 

he worked for a britain railway for a while 

also served drinks on a day boat for a job 

loves dancing 

Rory storm and the hurricanes 

got his nickname from all the rings he would wear

replaced pete best as the beatles drummer 

dealt with people hating him for a bit bc they liked pete more 

had to style his hair in a bowl cut to be in the band and i'm still mad at them for making him do that shit 

ringo i'm so sorry 

george martin didn't really like his drumming and had a session drummer come in for the first album 

in 1964 he had tonsillitis, pharyngitis, and high fever all at once and had to be in the hospital for a bit.

was worried the beatles would replace him for good 

he’s a cancer don't worry

was the first beatle to try weed 

drummers always go first huh 

married his first wife, maureen, in 1965 

she kissed paul, ringo, and george.

what a champ

honeymoon was ruined by reporters 

was really insecure in his relationship and needed a lot of reassurance 

had a great relationship with pretty much all the beatles 

but a great one with john 

john felt his most relaxed when he was with ringo

was once in a movie with roger daltrey 

divorced maureen in 1975 

his wife now is barbara bach who he married in 1981 

had alcohol problems 

once gotten so drunk that he beat barbara so badly that he thought he killed her 

put himself into rehab after that 

barbara lowkey looks like jan from the office 

children: zak, lee, and jason

zak is the drummer for the band the who 

peace and love 

but don't send me fan mail anymore 

peace and love 

ringo starr and the allstar band (starting 1981)

was the narrator for thomas the tank engine 

will play at paul’s concerts sometimes now for fun 

mad bc he came on stage during paul’s last concert show and it was on my birthday and I couldn't go to it 

honorable ringo moments:

“do you want me to come with you?”

stupid barbara walters 

talking about paul 

giving us a little dance 

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts 7x04 The Spoils Of War (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Ugh ...so much drama with the leaking of this episode. It was extremely hard to keep myself unspoiled, but I managed (mostly). I know a lot of you have been waiting for this recap, so let's get down to business .....

Wow. This episode felt so rushed! For the life of me, I will never understand D&D's logic for cutting this season and the next short, for all the content they need to cram into them.

So, with that being said, we start this weeks episode off in High Garden (or is it Highgarden?). The Lannister and Tarly soldiers have cleaned out High Garden's riches and food supply and have a caravan headed back to Kings Landing. Jamie gives Bronn his big bag of gold because "a Lannister always pays his debts" but Bronn still wants his castle. lol After poking fun at Jamie's sour mood despite their victory, Bronn goes with Lord Tarly and Dickon to assist in getting the rest of the harvest. Winter is here, and food is needed.

Side note: I love Bronn. Jamie and Tyrion should totally adopt him when this is all over.

Back in Kings Landing, Cersei is again meeting with the Iron Bank dude, who's happy to continue supporting her ventures, as long as they get their money. She assures him his gold is on the way.

We head to Winterfell (yay!) where LF is busy being fucking creepy, as usual. He gives Bran the dagger that the cutthroat tried to use to assassinate him in the first season. He proceeds to blow smoke up Bran's ass about how he will always protect Cat's children and blah blah blah, sweet Jesus Petyr, we are tired of hearing the same lame shit come out of your mouth! (at least, I am). He tells Bran it's the dagger that essentially started the war of the 5 Kings and that in a way, it made him what he is today.

Some very interesting things I gleaned from this scene:

When Bran asks him if he knows who it belonged to -I believe this was a rhetorical question. I think Bran knows exactly who it belonged to.  

LF is shook when he says the word chaos and Bran claps back with "chaos is a ladder." Mmhmm.  

That is the weapon LF will die by. Without a doubt. (and it's sweet poetic justice).

"I'm not Lord Stark" -another reminder that Sansa is the heir to Winterfell, as Bran will probably slip further into his 3ER role until that's all he is and Bran no longer exists.  

Meera interrupts. She wants to go home and see her family before the Others come. Meera is hurt by how cold and distant Bran is after all she sacrificed for him, and Bran confirms what I said last week -he's NOT Bran anymore. The more he hones his powers, the more the parts of him that are Bran will disappear -which is why he's so void of emotions. It's not trauma (although he's been through and seen some pretty traumatic shit), it's just the part of him that was Bran is literally dying as the 3ER takes over.

And Arya is home!!!!! Omg omg omg!!!

What is it with poor Arya and gate guards keeping her out? Okay, just seeing Arya's face as she glances around Winterfell and looks at the banner -it made me so emotional, my husband laughed at me. He's a dick, what can I say?

The guards let Sansa know about the girl at the gate, and how she's gone now, and once Sansa hears who the girl asked for, she knows it's really Arya and exactly where to find her. She heads to the crypts and there's Arya in front of Ned's statue.

This was a beautiful reunion! I know it wasn't nearly as emotional as Sansa and Jon's -and frankly, I don't think any of them are going to be, and I believe that's intentional, but for the Stark sisters -it suited them, and who they are, and who they've become. There's no hate or animosity here ...they even tease each other a bit, and it's just so lovely and ashgdhjxugyfkcufyskfjcjcaa I AM SO EMOTIONAL!!!!! And we got not just one hug, but two!!! TWO!!!! I said before that D&D had better make this reunion worth while, and for me, they delivered. I love how Arya said that their stories aren't over yet.

A few things that stood out to me in this scene:

Arya telling Sansa that being Lady Stark suited her. I'm not sure this is foreshadowing or just Arya giving her sister some kudos. Either way, it warmed my heart.  

Sansa bringing up Jon, and not only how excited he was about her reunion, but how thrilled he'll be to see Arya too -this served two purposes: Sansa again, bringing up Jon at a time she feels vulnerable/safe, and at the same time validating Arya and how important she is to Jon.  

Arya mentions her kill list, and Sansa thinks she's joking.  

Sansa tells Arya that Bran is home too, and we head out into the Godswood. No matter how unemotional Bran is, it's beautiful to see my Starklings all together in one place again! ❤️ My heart literally grew three times its size!

After a brief hug, Bran tells Arya that he saw her at the crossroads and that he thought she'd go to Kings Landing. Sansa offers that Bran has visions now, and Bran says that Cersei is on her list of names. The look on Sansa's face puzzled me for a minute -because she looks a bit worried, but then she kind of smirks a bit when she asks Arya who else is on her list. Now, I think that the writers want us to think that Sansa suspects she *might* be on that list, but I'm telling you now that's utter bullshit. Lady Stark has taken over her new role in every aspect and that includes mothering her two younger siblings. I believe her look comes more from a parental place of worrying, and I bet the next few episodes will prove me right -ahem, did I not call the whole Bran is no longer Bran thing last week? Thank you.

As Bran pulls out the dagger and gives it to Arya, this only further confirms my feelings. Immediately, Sansa is suspicious. Why? Because she knows LF better than anyone, and she knows he doesn't do anything that won't benefit himself. I suspect she is both worried for her siblings, and thinks LF is trying to sway Bran into taking the Lordship so that he can ask for Sansa's hand in marriage while Jon's away. It's the only thing that makes sense to me in regards to LF visiting Bran earlier in the episode. I also think this is all more fodder for fake ass Starkbowl too -to confuse the viewers.

Some things that stood out in this scene:

Bran gives the dagger to Arya. Arya is going to be the one who kills LF -Bran knows, he's seen it, and that's why he gives the dagger to her.  

My heart -when he says it's wasted on a cripple and Sansa looks down sadly.  

Okay, our Starklings are headed back within Winterfell, and OMG my heart is exploding! And Brienne's heart, too! Podrick tells her she kept her vow to Catelyn and she should be proud, and you can tell that she's not used to being complimented. As usual, LF is creeping in the shadows like the human embodiment of a bloodsucking tick.

Another side note: Podrick is also a precious dewdrop! Put him in the same category with Davos.

Now we're at Dragonstone ..dun dun dunnn. Sigh, well come on, let's get it over with. We start this scene with Missandei insinuating that GW kissed the kitty and Jon interrupts them from below to bring Dany into a cave. Well, how clever. *eyeroll* I mean, you seriously have to laugh at that.

Jon wants to show Dany the dragon glass before they begin mining it, and it is quite lovely. Jon tells her he wants to show her something else, and the two of them head farther into the cave alone. Cramped quarters, and Dany seems winded from the walk up, because she's literally panting. Wtf??

Maybe the airs really thin?

Jon explains that the hieroglyphics on the walls are from the Children of the forest, and Dany seems awed to be standing in the same place. She passes the torch by some stick figures resembling the Children and the first men, and Jon narrates how they fought together against the common enemy, as her torch falls on the drawings of the WW's.

Ummm ........ no?

I mean, I'm pretty sure the Children made them to kill the first men originally, right? But Jon doesn't know that, and he needs Dany on his side, so go ahead and improvise Jonny baby. 😉

Now, I'm assuming that this scene was meant to be romantic because of the sudden romantic music playing in the background and the open stares between them in the soft torchlight. Kit's doing that soft half puppy/half fuck me stare, as Dany sashays slowly towards him.

"I will fight for you. I will fight for the north. When you bend the knee."

Annnnnnd there goes Jon's erection. If he had one ... hahahahah! He tells her again that he can't, and then Dany drops the BIGGEST hypocrite bomb EVER - "aren't his people more important than his pride?" Really? No seriously, REALLY? Who's prideful here? Someone get that girl a mirror because she has some serious soul searching to do!

But here's the thing -I went into this scene expecting to be beat over the head with romance tropes and vibes (according to what I've seen you all post over the last few days) and I truly didn't see/feel it. It's not that I didn't want to ... I was really actually trying to, but I felt more like they were once again trying to show us a juxtaposition on who these two people really are.

They emerge from the cave and Tyrion and Varys have good and bad news -they've got Casterly Rock ...but not really. Naturally, Dany is pissed. She demands that Jon and Davos remain while she has her tantrum. She implies that Tyrion is working against her, then gazing ominously out to sea at her Dragons says she's going to fly them to the Red Keep. When Tyrion advises her against it, she asks Jon's opinion. He doesn't want to be involved but she insists.

Jon gives her really good advice, actually. He tells her to BE DIFFERENT. He tells her to be what her people think she is, and not just more of the same shit they're used to. He tells her not to use her Dragons.

Now we're back to Winterfell and Brienne is training Podrick again. Where's Brienne's cheerleader, Tormund? I half expected him to pop out from behind a wagon with heart eyes. lol  Arya wants to train with Brienne -she obviously admires her, and I ship them -my new brotp. 😍

They quick shoot up to Sansa and LF on the battlements and the grain is brought up again. Food is a big theme in this episode, as it's mentioned in the beginning with Jamie, Dany also mentions feeding her army during her tantrum, and now Sansa, too.

She stops in mid sentence to watch what's unfolding below with Arya and Brienne. She gets a worried look and side eyes LF when Arya mentions Brienne swore to serve both of Cat's daughters (again, more writers bait to instill fake mistrust between the sisters -it's more likely that Sansa mistrusts LF and what's currently motivating him).

This fight scene is AMAZING! Two strong, beautiful women -individually talented in their own ways ...this is the shit I live for!!! Arya looks and moves strikingly like Jon (before he took on Ned's persona) -(wo)man bun and all!

Again, Sansa with her odd looks, and her side-eyeing of LF ...they are laying it on thick.

Also, Gendry better watch out -Podrick's got some serious heart eyes for Arya.

We head back to Dragonstone, and Davos and Jon are strolling the grounds (aren't you supposed to be mining, mofo???). Again, I'm going to break away from everyone on the romance vibes here -I think that Davos is being facetious. When he asks Jon what he thinks of Dany, he never tells us what he feels, and when Jon says "she has a good heart", Davis replies with "yeah, I've noticed you've been staring at her good heart", implying that Jon's been looking at her tits. Where's the romance in that? That's not love -that's physical attraction. Let's not mix the two just yet.

Jon immediately rebuffs Davos with -"There's no time for that" the convo switches gears to the NK and how many men they've got up north. And then Davos jumps back to "good hearts" deliberately and LOUDLY, as they approach Missandei. This seems odd to me ... I've already speculated that Jon may go undercover lover on Dany as he did to Ygritte, and many have disagreed with me -but I kind of feel like that might be what they are setting up here ...

Missandei greets them "Ser Davos, Lord Snow" -and immediately Davos puts the brakes on that shit, "it's King Snow, or is it King Jon?" (I love Davos).  We go over the concept of bastard, which leads to how Missandei got to be an advisor to Dany. And here again, I feel is another play on words to show how distrustful of Dany both Jon and Davos are (yet managed to fool everyone into thinking it's ringing romance bells and trying to convince Jon how precious the D is) -Davos reminds her that she's still "serving" Dany (reminiscent of what the Masters in Meereen said to GW) as to which Missandei replies that she does it freely. Jon is skeptical (and really, so am I) and asks if she wanted to leave and sail home to Narth tomorrow ...? Missandei is insistent that Dany would drop her on a boat and wish her good fortune.

Jon (still skeptical): "you believe that?"  

Ohhh, he struck a nerve. Missandei very passionately declares "she knows it" and says that all who followed her (Dany) from Essos followed her because they believe in Dany and chose her as queen (ya know, except for those who didn't). Davos says "would you forgive me if I switch sides?" And again, I can't help thinking  how deliberate that line is -Davos is smart and he's a good talker (as shown throughout the entire series), and I really feel like he's playing them. I could be wrong, but my gut is really just telling me that something is off here.

Ahhh, and the scene I've been waiting for that conveniently comes after all this fake Dany romance BS -a Greyjoy ship is spotted just off the coast! Props to both my boys here, because they played up the tension and emotional angst nicely. Jon moves forward slowly, and then Theon too.

T: Sansa ....she alright?

The minute her name is on Theon's lips, Jon's chest begins to heave and he lunges forward and grabs Theon by the front of his shirt, vehemently stating that "what you did for her is the only reason I'm not killing you."  

WOOT WOOT the murder kitten strikes again! Kit is sooooo good with these emotional facial scenes, my God! Do any of you really doubt this ship????

Jon is fucking in love with Sansa -it is so clearly evident that when he realizes his Starkcest is showing, he abruptly releases Theon, and shoves him away -just in time to zoom in on Davos, and guys -HE KNOWS! DAVOS KNOWS!!!

He (Davos) cleverly shifts the subject to Theon's fleet and Yara. Euron's got her. Theon asks where Dany is and they inform him she's not there.

We jump back over to Jamie and his troops. They are finishing gathering up the harvest (food again) and Lord Tarly suggests flogging any slackers. Jamie is against this -the writers emphasizing yet again that he's a good man/leader -which is emphasized FURTHER when he chats with Dickon about his feelings on his first battle. Dickon admits it was hard killing people he literally grew up with, and Jamie shows empathy -"they didn't deserve to die, but Lady Olenna decided to support the Targaryen girl, so here we are". Jamie may have been a great warrior, but he despises killing innocents, and in essence, that's what a lot of these soldiers are -men forced to fight for the ones who rule them, with really no say in the matter. The scene with Arya and the Lannister soldier boys makes so much more sense now.

A side note: Bronn literally laughed out loud at Dickon's name! lmao

Bronn and Jamie hear hoofbeats, the Dothraki army is coming, and sure enough, Dany's leading them on Drogon. Now, I've seen people's thoughts on this scene floating around Tumblr for days (TAG YOUR SPOILERS lol), but I was NOT prepared for how visually horrifying it truly was.

Another very important side note: the Khaleesi theme song that's usually played for most of Dany's inspiring scenes, has been given a VERY ominous twist. Go back and listen. It's an important detail that many of you might have missed. 😉

The Lannister army scrambles to make a barrier of shields and Dany literally blows them away, ordering Drogon to dracarys the shit out of them. The Dothraki break through, and while they're keeping the soldiers busy, Dany rides Drogon up the wagon line, literally torching all the wagons filled with food! WTF??

They have the giant crossbow with them, and Jamie tells Bronn he has to wield it, because you need two hands. Probably thinking that he doesn't get paid well enough for this bullshit, Bronn races for the weapon, but a Dothraki develops a hard-on for him and gives chase through the burning camp. Bronn loses his horse and his gold, but makes it to the weapon.  Finally riding himself of his Dothraki admirer, he searches the smoke filled sky for Drogon, as Tyrion looks down at the carnage from an overlooking cliff. He has what I perceive to be a regretfully sad/shocked face, as equally sad music plays in the background. The Dothraki warrior beside him comments that "his people can't fight".

They zoom in on Jamie watching the soldiers around him burning to death, and then Drogon reappears and is headed straight for him. He yells for his men to take cover, as Bronn releases an arrow and just barely misses the dragon. He reloads, as Dany zeroes in on him, ordering dracarys as Bronn lets the next arrow fly and it hits Drogon under the wing, I think? Drogon is injured, but recovers just in time to stop in front of the weapon and bathe him in fire, as Bronn dives out of harms way.

Drogon lands and smashes the weapon with his tail, and Dany dismounts to pull the spear from him. Jamie sees an opportunity to take Dany out, and like a gallant knight, races towards her, while Tyrion watches from the cliff, pleading for him not to do it. NOT because he cares about Dany -no, his fear is all for his brother here, I'm sure of it.

Unfortunately, Dani and Drogon see him before he gets close enough, and dracarys again -but Bronn leaps out and knocks Jamie off his horse and they both fall into the water and sink below the surface.

The episode ends with Jamie in heavy armor, sinking like a rock to the bottom of the lake.

No guys, Jamie is not dead. Bronn isn't wearing heavy armor and Bronn will save him. I promise. Jamie's story isn't over yet -he's got a very important role to play in the coming battle ....

A few things to point out that should have been glaringly obvious:

Dany didn't take Jon's advice. If any of you have any doubts on dark!dany, you can toss them out the window -this episode was in NO WAY intent upon bathing her in a good light.

Tyrion is going to jump sides really soon -and probably Varys, too.  

Dany just burned most -if not ALL of the harvest, and now we understand the emphasis on food this episode, and the parallel of Sansa who, ya know -actually gives a fuck about feeding her people.  

I have more thoughts on this episode that I'll share tomorrow, but I know you've all been waiting for this a long time. What can I say? I'm thorough, I'm sorry! Thanks for tuning in, and I'll see you next week with more GoT Afterthoughts.