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eastcoastzilla · 1 year ago

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34!!

I'm almost positive no one gets on tumblr anymore so I'm gonna use it like a livejournal from 2005

Crazy to think that person above in the photo is me + I am now 34. Wasn't I just 19 yesterday? How does time do that? Move so fast and not at all, all at the same time..

So much changes, yet also stays the same. Year 5 this Nov at Cowan - I would say I am content there. It works, it is steady, + that's all I can really ask for at this point. Everything in life is super unstable and as I get older I find myself craving that stability more and more. That feeling of peace; that feeling of everything being okay and knowing that whatever comes our way we will be okay. The old saying "we want for nothing" becomes more relatable in my 30's. Don't get me wrong though - I do NOT feel 34. Heck, I don't even feel 30. I still feel like I'm in my 20's. I think my a lot of my generation feels that way until they are in their 40s/50s and I'm okay with it. From working at a retirement home for 10 years, I've come to highly believe that age is just a number. (Check back in with me in five years to see if I have a new opinion. I bet I do.)

Material things don't matter. I don't need things to feel like I've lived a good life. I just want to be happy and find enjoyment with the person I love to share life with :). Things are scary and life can be fucking hard but I'm proud of how far we've come. Never asking for too much but it can feel like the odds are stacked against us/me. I try to remind myself that there are peaks and valleys. Writing shit out helps me get it out and move on - that's how I've always been able to process things.

Rinzler got sick right when we were going away to NY for my birthday. We spent 3 days thinking we were losing our best buddy of 12 years. He ended up pulling through and Perry hall animal hospital saved the day but it was super scary + eye opening. He's getting older and we are trying to appreciate the time we have with him here. It's why I wish I had a pet growing up so I would be more prepared to lose one since it's inevitable. At least we have him for now and he's a great light in our lives.

It's September and very soon it's the first day of fall. I'm super bummed summer is over - I'm always cold so I'm down with the heat! However I can't wait to camp soon.

Friends are grown up, moved away, married + doing the fam/kids thing. I love to see them happy and enjoy meeting their babies. Kae's boys are amazing - I'm always blown that she is a mom just because it will always feel like we are still 16 burning CDs for the first time.

Idk why but there's a weird stigma about people who don't want to have kids. Plus I wish people would stop saying "want". Of course I WANT to have kids. I believe I SHOULDNT have kids for my own personal reason that's no one's business but my own. So even though I have chosen not to at this time, it's not okay to assume that I don't get sad about not having kids or that I hate kids. Neither are true. Sometimes I have to not look too deeply at photos online because I will get into my own head and it will take off from there. I don't think that will ever go away. Maybe it's a natural thing - like a natural "maturnal" thing something within me that can't help it cos it screams HEY YOU SHOULD PROCREATE AND BE A PARENT. Whatever it is, it's le pits. There is an eternal, internal voice war going on in my head - should I feel guilty knowing that sometimes I can't spend too much time online or I get really sad about seeing all the mom photos, knowing I'll never be a mom.. I'll never get those firsts.. It's my choice to not have kids so is it even fair for me to get sad? Uh yes thats how you feel let yourself feel it - then I disconnect and stop looking or thinking about it until the next time I do it all over again. Idk, maybe it's something I'm supposed to work through? It's weird. Logically I know it's a smart decision for where I'm at, where we are at, and things directly relating to the happiness and fullness of the child in question. It's a decision I am content with but at the same time have so many thoughts on. Hopefully it'll get easier. Another part of me hopes that I will finally befriend a human being in my later years and we can chat about it like rory and lane. But clearly I just watch too much TV/movies. At least those are good right now. Except for the internet - XFINITY sucks ass.

That is all. Goodnight :)

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chopper-witch · 2 years ago

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I know there is a lot of talk about modern!stranger things rn and it's got cute things with the characters or how’d they would text/sext whatever but...

Y’all.

Actual Stranger Things plot in modern times. in 2022 (well, 2019-2022, ig)

Seriously think about it.

I just rewatched s2, and Jonathan and Nancy get away with leaving because Nancy pretends to be at a friend's house for a few days by calling from a landline in ILLINOIS. Yeah, sure *67. But *67 in 2022? Ahahaha, Nance, your mom is pulling out “find my iPhone” and hunting your ass DOWN. She can’t find you? Oh, she’s calling the company and asking where the fuck that call just came from. And already texting your friends if they really are with you, and then you have to beg them to take one of those “pretend I took the photo” photos.

Aliens instead of devil worship. Which still works great because it is clearly a very Christian town 🤧. Gotta get that antisemitism in there.

The kids are kids still, you know? TikTok is popular. IG Reels are popular. Is it really their fault the NYT does an exposé on the Hawkins Lab because one of them (Dustin) posted a video of Dart when he was small on their alt and added in the tags #hawkins #hawkinslab #realmonsters #monsterarereal?

#talkshitgethit goes trending after the Angela incident with everyone on Jane’s side after someone else who was at the rink posted a video about everything that happened from beginning to end. The news even gets ahold of it, and the girl went missing in police custody...

They need Suzie to trace something because of course the lab is using VPN shit and heavy firewalls and GPS spoofs and they know how to trace an IP but please, is there some way to trace someone who is using a VPN and spoofs from our phones please help we promise its for a video game and instead of hesitantly believing she goes, “it’s okay if you want to break into the government. I’ve been wanting to try that for a while”

My original idea with them demanding everyone makes a Spotify playlist and share it but then discovering Vecna nerfs lithium-ion batters, so they need to burn CDs and use a player that isn’t rechargeable, but who even has the ability to burn CDs anymore? The library has four 3-d printers... and one ancient computer that is barely booting but still has a CD slot attached.

The government is trying to clean this up so bad, every single time, but you know, Marvel just came out with their whatever-th movie, Star Wars is still milking itself dry, HBO is still doing Game of Thrones something or another, and both sci-fi and fantasy are still growing in popularity. Alternate dimensions real? Good luck putting that one back in the box. Psionic powers real? Yeah, that’s not going away.

Especially since in our very real world the CIA was very really trying to do projects very, very similar to what is seen in Stranger Things (and this isn’t a conspiracy - this is a proven fact. MK Ultra had over 100 projects, and much of it was tied to mind control. They also tried to a “projected consciousness” kind of thing literally called “Gateway Process”, the document is here).

God, I could keep going. Something about the idea is so fucking funny to me. Like almost none of this works in the modern world. Or it does, but not as well.

#stranger things #stranger things headcanons #modern!stranger things

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ambitionsource · 4 years ago

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Front Nine “Life Playlists,” or 10 Songs That Define Them ♪

Each track on a Life Playlist represents a song that left a major impact on your life, whether it’s a visceral memory, an important event, or something that connected you to someone or something else. For the F9, songs featured are up through the canon timeline, so through the summer before senior year.

Lucas James Friar (born September 3, 2001) ♫ Playlist

1. “Desperado” by The Eagles || The earliest song Lucas can remember, because it's one of Grace's favorites. She's a fan of the Eagles and would play this album pretty often, especially when Kenneth was away. Lucas has a really distinct sensory memory from when he was like 4 or 5, where this song was playing in the living room on this shitty speaker. It was spring and the windows were all open (which they rarely are) and so the room was way brighter than normal. It smelled like spring and fresh air and his mom was singing along in the kitchen, and it was the only time he really heard her sing. He doesn't listen to it much now because it makes him emotional (and we know how he hates that), but in the future he'll come back around to it and it will become one of his favorite songs too. Maybe someday, his kids (should he have them) will develop a similar sensory memory, only it'll be their stable suburban home and it'll be their dad singing to himself in the kitchen when they've never heard dad sing before. Mom, sure, but dad? And the cycle will continue...

2. “Car Windows” by The Main Drag || This album, Yours As Fast As Mine by The Main Drag, is to this day the only album Lucas has listened to in full. When he was like in third grade he was playing Rock Band 2 with some friends (classic), and they played the song "Jagged Gorgeous Winter" from this album. Lucas really liked it and even asked about it when they were done playing. While the other kids didn't really know much about it, the mom of the friend (who knew all about Lucas's home life and was semi-friends with Grace until they moved away) explained that she actually had the original album on CD and gave it to Lucas to borrow. Lucas took it home and listened to the entire thing, and he still has the CD to this day as he never gave it back (although the mom figured she probably wouldn’t have it returned when she handed it over). Over time, “Car Windows” became his favorite song, and it (along with the album) is something he would go on to share only with Riley as music that's actually important to him.

3. “Down With the Sickness” by Disturbed || Pretty self-explanatory, but this song was somewhat of a meme in the late 2000s in a lot of like popular Youtube videos and stuff at the time. Lucas tangentially heard about it that way while at school in like 5th - 6th grade (when his anger and behavior was starting to get bad), and considering the song is pretty heavily representative of having an abusive parent (the chilling bridge being indicative of that), Lucas immediately latched onto it. It's basically his go-to track on his "shut up shut up shut up" playlist, when he needs to tune out the world. But depressing. Very depressing.

4. “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark” by Fall Out Boy || Lucas's introduction to Fall Out Boy, and the rest is history. He first heard the song in a post-detention hang-out when he was in 7th grade, tailing around some reckless 8th graders who agreed that he was cool enough to kick it with them considering the reason he had detention (vandalism of school property and for flipping off a teacher), and he was basically the same age as them anyway. One of them was playing the recent FOB album on their phone, starting with this song, and while Lucas also tried weed for the first time afternoon and wasn't a fan, he was a pretty quick disciple of Fall Out Boy.

5. “Gives You Hell” by All-American Rejects || Also featured on Asher's playlist, this track bonded Dylucasher the most while they were building their new friendship. This is the song they would play while shit-talking performers in the booth, what they'd blast through Dylan's car speaker while setting off bottle rockets, what they shout-sing while dicking around the skate park, etc. Gave Lucas a sense of empowerment when everything else felt out of control, and watching Asher and Dylan sing along full-throttle with him also made him feel like they might actually be friends who were there to stay. Also convinced him that Asher was way more crazy than his perfect polished exterior let on...

6. “Misery Business” by Paramore || Lucas and Isadora's favorite song in freshman year. While Lucas didn't hold many opinions about music and thus basically begrudgingly listened to whatever Isadora wanted to when they hung out, this is the song that both of them agreed was a hardcore bop. Although neither of them were singing along from experience, both of them learned all the words in no time and there were plenty of booth afternoons spent talk-singing along to the angry Paramore hit. As Isadora puts it in Cruel Summer, “Lucas and I would just sit around and listen to it on repeat to the point that we both knew the all the words—and that’s a big deal when it comes to him, because he doesn’t know like any music.”

7. “That Would Be Enough” from Hamilton || Riley's performance at the Jacob's Gala was impactful enough on Lucas that he proceeded to listen to the track the entire weekend after the event. Even though he abruptly stopped listening after the massacre that occurred on Monday when he tried to wipe everything about Riley from his memory, he would still find it stuck in his head at random times. It's the only song to stick with him so pointedly in such a short amount of exposure, and to this day he might occasionally ask Riley to sing it -- only if no one else is around, naturally.

8. “Quiet” by Rachael Yamagata || A selection from the playlist Riley made Lucas in sophomore year that essentially became Lucas's mental breakdown track. Any time he found himself burnt out of anger (which is what he predominantly used throughout junior year to numb the overwhelming emotion of everything else), he would end up either crashed in his nook in the booth, on his pathetic bed, or hidden away in his closet if he was really crashing and burning and without fail he would turn to this song. Just searching for quiet... some actual peace and quiet...

9. “Alive” by Pearl Jam || In the midst of junior year, Jack and Lucas had many conversations. One of those ended up being about music, as Jack wanted to know if Lucas really hated every single performance his classmates put on, or if that was all part of the defense mechanism. Jack shared some of his favorite artists from when he was his age to today, including Pearl Jam, which he claimed got him through some of the toughest parts of his life. Lucas absorbed the information but didn't do much with it until the later part of junior year, after everything went to hell, and he decided to look up what the big deal with Pearl Jam was anyway. Hearing about two minutes of Alive was all it took to stick with him, and he continued to listen to it as the rest of the chaos year unfolded. And yeah, maybe it makes him feel more connected to Jack... so what. Who asked you? Whatever. Who cares. I'm still alive, oh yeah, I'm still alive...

10. “As Lovers Go” by Dashboard Confessional || One of the songs Riley consistently plays when they're hanging out and driving around together during the summer of love, and so it instantly becomes associated with her in Lucas's mind. Not only is it like, a good song that he also actually likes, but it's like every single note of it is infused with Riley and memories of her. Might be likely that a lot of songs are going to start feeling that way...

#lucas james friar #life playlists #edit #by maggie #i'm slowly pickin away at these... figuring out how to format it was hard lol #but hopefully this is insightful and enjoyable!!#also the baby pic........ he is babie its true....

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jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels · 5 years ago

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Don’t you hear my call though you’re many years away - Chapter 5

A/N: Get ready to spend some time with John! This is all types up on my phone, please forgive any grammatical or punctuation errors. No clue or the word count.

Warnings: minor angst, mentions of drinking, slow burn.

I was amazed I slept at all that night, but I did, and I slept well. I woke around 8 the next morning. Smiling. I popped out of bed to start getting ready for my morning with John, and the afternoon with the band. Excitement was better than caffeine any day.

I took my time getting ready, I even curled my hair at the ends, but still parting it down the center, as that seemed to be the style.

I was applying my perfume when there was a soft knock at the door. It was a little before 10, I knew it was John, but I couldn’t seem too eager.

I pressed my ear to the door and asked “who is it?”

I heard a chuckle and he replied “it’s John Deacon.”

When I opened the door, he was beaming at me, his eyes crinkling.

“Hi” I sighed at the sight of him, still shocked that John Deacon was at my door, “good morning.”

“Good morning, sorry I’m early” he said as he shoved his hands in his back pockets.

“That’s alright, I’m almost ready. Come in”, I said taking a step back.

As he passed the threshold into the room and closer to me, I put my hand on his chest, stopping him. He looked me in the eye, with a soft smile painted on his face. I leaned in, and he met me half way. The kiss was sweet and gentle, much like his hand on my cheek.

I pulled back slightly and said “now it’s a great morning.”

His smile grew as I moved my hand from his chest and he made his way into the room.

I shut the door and as I turn around I was stopped in my tracks when I found him sitting on the foot of the unmade bed, leaning back on his hands. Heat scorched through my body, aching to be pressed against him. I could tell John was having similar thoughts as he raked his eyes over me and bit his lower lip.

I let out a shaky breath as I made my way across the room and past him to a window where I’d placed my earrings on the sill. I was trembling slightly as I leaned over picked them up.

“So what’s the plan for this morning?” I asked turning around, catching him checking me out from behind. I guess there was something to these short shorts.

His cheeks turned red, as he stumbled over his words, “oh, uh...well, um whatever you wanted.”

“I was thinking maybe you could show me around the area today, so I can get familiar with it, then possibly over the course of the month I’m here, maybe you could show me other places? Buckingham, Trafalgar, ya know, the major points of interest...” I suggested. Maybe I was pushing things.

“Sure” he said “I aim to please.”

I looked up at him from putting my shoes on.

“Is that right?” I asked. He nodded, keeping a wicked smile plastered on his face.

I sauntered towards him, his eyes following my every move. Once I was in front of him, I leaned down and put a hand on each of his legs, giving them a gentle squeeze as I moved my lips to his, keeping just a breath apart. He tried to kiss me, but I moved back, earning me a raised brow from him. I hovered my lips over his again as I whispered, “I think I’m going to enjoy having you as my guide.” I brushed a kissed against the side of his mouth, stood up and turned on my heels.

Once I was at the door, I looked back at him over my shoulder to find him rubbing his palms up and down this thighs.

“Ready?” I asked cheerfully.

“Uh...yeah, sure” he said as he stood up.

I held my hand out as he walked up to me, he took it without hesitation.

Our morning started out with a stop at a small bakery he suggested because of their chocolate croissants, and was he right. They were delicious, I’d have to be careful, I could eat them every morning.

We stayed in the area, John telling me some history he knew, places that had been rebuilt after the war, and others still showing the scars of bombings on their facade. I could listen to him talk all day. He could read me the ingredients list off a box of cereal and I’d be enthralled.

He showed me his favorite record store, where we browsed around a bit, and he asked me about my record collection. I panicked seeing as I didn’t even have a CD collection any more, but luckily I grew up with parents who loved their records, I was able to list a few of my favorites off the top of my head,

“I like Ray Charles, The Beatles, The Temptations, The Beach Boys. I tend to listen to a little of everything I guess.”

He told me about bands he liked, and records he was looking forward to buying. His taste leaned towards Motown but he said the Beatles were one of his favorite bands, and mentioned that he really enjoyed Elton John’s “Your Song”.

Scanning the records, I found a 45 of “La Vie En Rose” by Louis Armstrong. I picked it up and showed John.

“I love this song! I have it as my...” I caught myself, I was about to say ringtone but that wouldn’t make any sense to him.

John looked at me, his brow peaked, questioningly.

“You have it as what?” He asked.

“I’m not sure what I was trying to say,” I laughed nervously “I just meant it’s one of my all time favorite songs.”

He’s caught my slip up, but didn’t seem too concerned with it as he spoke.

“Not sure I know that song, but I do know Louis Armstrong.” He said.

“La Vie En Rose” I said “it was in one of my favorite movies, ‘Sabrina’.”

“Not familiar with that one” he replied with a small shake of his head.

“You’ll have to watch it some day,” I said, and held up the 45 “and you’ll have to listen to this!”

“Promise” he said with a sweet smile.

As we left the record store he talked to me about school, and explained what he was studying. Most of which went over my head. He also told me he would be sitting some tests in the near future.

“I know you’ll do well” I said.

“You think so?” He asked.

“Of course. I just know it.” I said encouragingly.

Eventually we made our way back to Kensington Market, and walked all 3 floors. He even showed me where Roger and Freddie had a stall, even though they weren’t there that day. I could see why it was such a popular place, but he said he tended to avoid it because it was always so crowded.

As we left the market he asked if I was hungry.

“I could eat” I replied.

We walked to a small shop, where we bought a couple of sandwiches and sodas, since John suggested we have a picnic in a near by park. The same park I traveled to. The one I’d be traveling from. I made sure we were no where near that area as we sat in the soft grass. I had an irrational fear that I’d be sent back before getting to know him better.

“Tell me about your family” he said, as we sat in the shade.

“Well, I’m the youngest. My older brother, he’s 10 years older than me, he manages a book store, he’s not married, but I’d love for his current girlfriend to become my sister in law. My Dad works for a telephone company, he’s made his way to management over the years, and my mom is a housewife.” I replied, keeping with the story my friends and I had developed. My brother actually managed an electronics store, and my mom was a compliance officer at a bank.

I continued, this time with the truth, “I have a large extended family. There’s so many of use that family gatherings look more like block parties. But we’re all very close despite the sheer number of us.”

“What about school, what do you want to teach?” He asked, picking at a few blades grass.

“I hope to teach art, I love art.” Not a complete lie, I did love art, which is why I was majoring in digital art, my Dad and his mother both did their share of painting, where I leaned more toward photography and graphic design.

“Maybe we could visit a few of the museums while you’re here then” he suggested.

“I’d love that” I replied sincerely.

“What happens if your family should run into your ex, while you’re here I mean?” He asked, out of left field.

“Oh, well they won’t. He doesn’t live in my hometown, we met in college, so it’s unlikely they’ll see him. But if they did, what could they do? I’m already here.” I said with a laugh.

He seemed satisfied with that answer when I asked him to tell me about his family. Not thinking it might be a sensitive subject until he cast his eyes down.

He told me about his parents and sister, and how he lost his father at a young age. He shared his favorite memories of him with me. As he spoke I took his hand in mine. I could see why people labeled him as fragile in the future. But he wasn’t. He was sensitive, but that didn’t make him weak, he just felt everything deeply. The loss of his father affected him tremendously. As would Freddie’s. At that moment I didn’t give a passing thought to what my leaving would mean, but I didn’t know yet where our relationship was heading.

“Hey” I said softly, changing the subject “do you think we could make a stop so I could buy some beer? Just as my way of saying thank you again to you and your friends?”

“Sure, we can stop at the off license on the way to the flat.” He replied.

“The what? And what flat? I thought you had practice tonight.” I said.

He laughed. We’d been playing this ‘game’ all day. I didn’t know a biscuit was a cookie, or that bin was trash can, now I didn’t now what an off license was.

“An off license” he said, smiling as his eyes crinkling “is where you buy beer, wine and such outside a pub.”

“Oh you mean a liquor store?” I asked.

“If that’s what Americans call them, then yes.” He laughed and continued “and a flat is an apartment.”

“I knew that one!” I defended myself, playfully pushing him.

He took that moment to lean over and kiss me, and catching me off guard, we toppled over in the grass. I started laughing instantly while John looked embarrassed for a moment but joined in my laughter.

“You have a beautiful smile” he said.

“Yours isn’t so bad either” I replied coyly.

He leaned down, meeting my lips with his to finish the kiss we had fumbled. He lowered his body so it pressed against mine, causing me to moan into his mouth.

He broke the kiss far too quickly, making me whimper.

“As much as I’d like to continue this,” he said in a husky voice “I’d rather not be arrested for being ‘indecent’ in a public park.”

I doubt we looked indecent, we probably looked more like a tangled heap of arms, legs and hair, as mine was splayed behind my head, and his curtained our faces.

I huffed and said “damn rules and laws.”

He pushed himself off me, stood and offered me his hand.

As we walked to his shared flat from the off license, he suggested I was trying to bribe his friends since I had bought beer, wine and whiskey. He may not have been wrong.

“How do manage to practice here with out your neighbors complaining?” I asked as we approached the stairs.

“They’re mostly our age, so they don’t complain much. But we’re not plugging in tonight. And fair warning, be prepared for bickering.” He said as he opened the door.

I couldn’t wait.

@queensdivas @liliah39 @leah-halliwell92 @painkiller80 @painandpleasure86 @deakys-chesthair @yourlocalmusicalprostitute @heybuddy-drabbles @queenwouldyourathers @mirkwoodshewolf @anincurablefangirl @ixchel-9275 @deakysmisfire @thosequeenboys @tryin-her-best @bornonaugust191951 @deacyspatronusisacheesetoastie

#john deacon x reader #john deacon x y/n #fan fic #my fics #time travel #queen #freddie mercury #roger taylor #brian may #mary austin #1971 #john deacon #dont you hear my call

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written-in-sunshine · 6 years ago

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Don’t Be Scared - Michael/Firkle Smith - SFW

Title: Don’t Be Scared Author: Donnie Fandom: South Park Setting: Michael’s House Pairing: Vague Michael/Firkle Characters: Michael, Firkle Smith, Michael’s Stepmom, Firkle’s Parents Genre: Friendship/Hurt/Comfort/Spiritual Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Word Count: 1240 Type of Work: One-Shot Status: Complete Warnings: Canon Ages, Child Abuse, Mentions of Alcohol Abuse, Obsessive Behavior Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Summary: Michael knew he had to say and do something. Firkle hung on every word. AN: Alright, hey, guys! I’m excited to get back to writing for South Park, I’ve taken too long of a hiatus. Get ready for more goth kids stuff, I guess. xD I hope you guys are ready for this! This is vaguely based off of a song, called Don’t Be Scared by Andrew Bird. Here we go! EDIT: This is mega old. Sorry. I have sixteen fics to post and seventeen that need edited. If you’re someone that can edit for all kinds of fandoms, please message me. I really need some help. Fandoms needed for betaing what I have so far: Saw, Insidious, Insidious/Saw Crossover, Fallout 3, Heathers, Heathers/Dismissed Crossover, South Park/TheVVitch Crossover, Assassin's Creed, Kick-Ass, Left 4 Dead 2, Dragon Age and Until Dawn.

South Park Fic Masterlist Don't Be Scared ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Head hung low, Firkle stood in front of the door that seemed to tower over him like a looming nightmare. Usually, he hung out with all three of his friends, but Henrietta had been drug off for “family time” and Pete was firmly burrowed beneath eight blankets at home with a good book. That left him running to Michael's house alone.

Even Michael's crazy step-mom didn't deter him as much as actually staying alone with his idol did. She hadn't questioned the bruise on his cheek, had barely noticed the child slinking into her house without knocking. But Michael would be alone with him, and might as well have been omnipotent in the eyes of the child suddenly terrified of him. It stilled his small hands on the door frame, slowed the extension of his body to reach the knob, but when he finally turned it, the fear in him drained. Michael lay on his bed, the room dark save for the clumps of pillar candles arranged randomly about it, hands on the electric guitar that he insisted he’d learn to play someday. It rest in his lap, and he tapped along to the Concrete Blonde song currently creeping from his speakers, and the whole scene brought out an odd side of the kindergartener before him. With the light dancing on his already sharp features, the fifth grader was transported from this realm and straight to the stars, to the time in history when there was none other to speak of. Suddenly so confused as to why he’d been confused, the boy took a few steps in, reverent of entering his graven image’s sacred space. With a cigarette perched between his lips, the elder male shifted dark chocolate eyes to him and snorted a little through his nose. “Hurry up and close the door.” His stepmom would kill him if she had to hear the opening to Jonestown again today, and the door was a better buffer than Firkle’s small body. While Michael didn’t see it as an order, so much as an expectation, Firkle nearly leapt to do just as he was asked, before shyly skirting around the bed. He didn’t often sit on the same plane as Michael, if only because of his own twisted need to keep him on a pedestal. There was no need to sully a God’s presence with that of a sunken mortal. The silence stretched between them, filled only with the beat to the song adjusting for the chorus and Michael’s occasionally louder thumps against the guitar. Between the two of them, three cigarettes ended up crumpled in the ashtray beside one of the elder goth’s already long legs, and those ever observant eyes found the younger boy’s face. Suddenly, everything seemed sharp and too bright, too quick to focus on everything at once. Firkle found himself pinned down beneath Michael, the elder goth’s hands holding his jaw and head respectively, and his oceanic blue eyes never left the elder’s. There was a dark look in them, the kind of primal anger that came with upsetting someone that should have been able to call down death on anyone that required it. “Who did that?” He asked, voice bordering on a shaky almost-whisper. When Firkle’s gaze faltered and his purple stained lips parted, closed and parted again, he shook the smaller’s head a little. “Who, Firkle?” Much as he was a new part of the group, the youngest member and definitely the craziest, it didn’t stop Michael from feeling an odd protectiveness over him. If someone was giving him shit and going so far as to leave him bruised and silent, well, that person was going to get a cane up the ass. “My… Mom.” Firkle finally squeaked, his voice unnaturally high and perhaps slightly more cracked than he had expected. The look the two boys shared in that moment conveyed so many things at once that Firkle was dizzy with the revelation that his God must have accepted him as part of the flock. “Why.” It wasn’t a question, and Michael could tell he probably sounded harsh. How many times had his own stepmother reached out and popped him one because he wasn’t what she wanted? It wasn’t a secret that Firkle was no more a pariah than when he was at home with his family. Even Michael found it to be tense, and he wasn’t the best at gauging social situations he wasn’t in total control of. “I don’t know.” That seemed to be what broke him, however, and a tear slipped down his cheek. It burned when it hit the taller male’s hand and he nearly recoiled with a hiss as he shook his head. No, tears were for pussies, and Firkle was the most hardcore kid he’d ever met in his life. Tears wouldn’t work here, he had to do something. “Sh, sh, hey. No. We don’t do that.” Tears showed weakness, and if there was anything that Michael knew well, it was that weakness wasn’t tolerated in any society. Pulling back and tugging the smaller form along with him, he held him against his chest. “What’s got��you so scared? I didn’t think you knew how to cry.” “I… Don’t want to die.” When Firkle finally said it, finally articulated all of the thoughts that went through his head because his parents couldn’t be trusted with him, well, Michael knew better than to be an ass. If nothing else, Firkle’s loyalty meant that Michael wouldn’t be at the wrong end of a knife, but the kid had already started to grow on him. “Don’t be scared of something like that.” Michael’s voice was quiet, calm, suddenly, like the first few notes of a song before the drums crashed in, “Don’t. You don’t have to worry about something stupid like death.” Maybe putting these thoughts into the head of an impressionable five year old was dangerous, but what else could he do? The kid needed something, anything to hold onto, and if he clung to Michael’s button-up any tighter he just might rip it in half, “Death is a beginning, not an end.” Sometimes, the tallest goth could be more eloquent and profound than anything Firkle had ever heard. The smaller goth’s body melted from a tense line to the simple clinging of an insect to its current mode of travel. He closed his eyes slowly and meditated on the words, it seemed, focusing on Michael’s breathing and syncing his own with it. The elder goth hummed softly, a rumble in his chest that seemed to calm the savage beast still using him for a seat, and he pet his hands through the other’s hair. “Death is a beginning, right, Michael?” Firkle finally asked, after what felt like eons of silence, even after the Concrete Blonde CD had finally spun its last track. “Right.” Absently kissing Firkle’s head, Michael sighed. “Your parents won’t miss you tonight, right?” Considering his mother had been neck deep in a bottle of wine and his father had been half out of his mind with whatever he’d been yelling at upstairs, Firkle was safe in thinking he’d be better off here. “Right, yeah.” “You’re staying.” And when someone like Michael told you something in that tone of voice, even if you could have ripped out his throat with your teeth in a second, you listened. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ AN: Man, it’s been a while since I wrote for my boys. And I don’t know that I have written for them all that much as actual kids, so this was… Refreshing. I hope you guys enjoyed!

#south park fanfic #south park fanfiction #south park goth kids #south park michael #south park firkle #firkle smith #sp firkle #sp michael

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astainedteamug · 6 years ago

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Getting Rid of that Holiday Stress Ahead of Time

If you are finding yourself worried about the holidays, then you and I are in the same boat. And so is everybody else. Legitimately, everybody. Even the lady at work who always has a perfect party and she never has a hair out of place, she’s worried if her quiche will burn or if she will have enough decorations. Everybody has some kind of stress going on right now.

Some people are triple checking their travel plans to make sure everybody has a ticket and if they have a big enough budget. Some people are checking their list of people to give a gift to and realizing that they STILL don’t know what to get their mom for Christmas.

But whatever it is you are going through right now, you should take a minute off of your feet to read through this and see if one of these could help you.

1. The Clutter

It is amazingly easy to hold on to things in the modern world. And you don’t even know why. Especially after Halloween, there are candy wrappers, fairy wings, tiny toys, and just all around mess. The birthdays of the year have left you with gifts that you never wanted and you couldn’t return, so they wound up shoved in a corner to never be used or seen again.

But for some reason, you find yourself stressed out about it. That thing Jim gave you at your office party that was so ugly you didn’t even want it in your car. It’s bothering you that it’s still here, yet it has to take the back burner. And pretty soon, you start to feel like your house looks something like this:

Yeah, I know!

But between work and school and getting everything ready, you just don’t feel like you have the time to go through all of it.

Behold, my friends, the beauty of November. This is a beautiful grace period that most people will skip over to start putting up decorations for Christmas, thinking it will help them not be stressed about the decorations. But they are wasting perfectly good cleaning time. It’s time for a detox, and your house is begging you to do it, just this once.

Now wait just a minute, this isn’t an excuse to throw out your wife’s figurines that you hate but she loves, in fact I don’t recommend throwing much away at all. Go through your things first and donate what you can.

Old clothing, shoes, toys, books, purses or bags, and even movies. This is a great time of year to donate those things and let somebody else enjoy them. Old dishes can be sold or donated, dog and cat toys can get washed and de-stinkified. Candles that have been sitting around for years can get burned and help get any unpleasant smells out of your house while freeing up cabinet space for candles to come. Old mail and documents can get shredded and recycled, or even stocked up as fire starters for your fireplace. And those decorations that “complete the room” can be stowed away until they are needed again. Don’t let them jumble you up and stand in the way.

And this is an excellent way to see what you need around the house. Maybe you didn’t know the drill was broken, but now you know what to get your husband for Christmas. Or maybe the kids need new pjs. And that new coat would look great in place of your old one.

And once you’re done with the clutter aspect of all of this, then it’s time to move into phase two.

2. The Mess

It is entirely possible that the corner of your living room behind your television hasn’t been dusted in months, correct? It’s an easy thing to forget. It’s an easy thing to push aside, or to say to yourself “would anybody really notice?” Aunt Barbara might when she visits on thanksgiving with her specialty cranberry stuffing. And you would never hear the end of it. Okay, now punch your anxiety in the face and pick up a duster.

It really isn’t that big of a deal which corner is dusted and which one isn’t, but November is a wonderful time of peace before the holiday guests arrive, so why not make sure the house is nice so you aren’t worried about it. They’ll make a mess when they get there anyways, you may as well conquer what you can now. Get those expired bath products and cleaning concoctions out of your house before area 51 gets involved. Soap is NOT good forever!

Move around your furniture to sweep under it, dig out all of those coins and wrappers in the couch, dust off your movie and CD collection so you can pick out the holiday films for when everyone is over. You may as well put one on while you vacuum your floors, those corners and your ceiling fans and vents. Heck, you can even wash your carpets if your feeling REALLY festive!

There really isn’t any point to making the holidays harder on yourself than they already can be, so why not get a head start on all of that mess and just get rid of it? It can be a good excuse to have your kids wash the windows or clean their bathrooms, or even go through their clothes and toys and put everything they don’t use into one bag to donate. And with your mess all taken care of, you can take a breath and relax before you begin part three of this holiday mission.

3. The Food

This is the biggest time of year for food sales for home baking. Which also means the fire department is busy too. Please be careful whenever you are in the kitchen with loved ones and keep the heat down, your sockets dust free, and make sure all handles are out of reach of little ones. And remember, a falling knife has no handle.

All of those vegetables that are going into your casseroles and soups, or getting turned into a side, you know you can use your freezer, right? Chopping them up now and freezing them in the measurements that you need is an excellent time and mess saver for your holiday baking. Those fruits that you bought too early, go ahead and chop those up too and freeze them until the day you need them for your pies and fruit salads. And honestly, why did you buy SO MANY cranberries? Nobody eats them! Stop doing this to your wallet and to yourself.

Over spending on food and wasting it is another stupidly easy thing to do. Half of it rots away before it even sees the cutting board. You can stop yourself from doing this with a few easy tools, like shopping lists, dates, and coordination with the other cooks in your family.

Everybody should bring a dish to thanksgiving. Whether it’s a pie, some creamed corn, or even something to drink. You won’t be the only cook during the week leading up to thanksgiving. So coordinating with your relatives about who is bringing what will save everybody from making the same thing and will make sure nobody is confused about what they’re doing and keeps you from making too much of one thing if not everybody is able to come. Especially if Kenny is the only person who is vegan and gluten intolerant, then his special dish doesn’t need to be fussed over this year. And everyone can bring something, even if uncle Dave just brings the disposable cups so grandma doesn’t have to do a million dishes with the grandkids later. And yes, everybody needs to do their share of work after dinner. A good rule of thumb is to clean up dishes before dessert.

But before the baking even begins, you need to figure out what ingredients you will need to buy to make that food. And some ingredients can be nearly impossible to get your hands on. You would not believe how difficult it was for me to find rhubarb for my pie this year. I had to google where I could get it, and it took me a few hours to get ahold of it. So making that shopping list can save you lots of time and hassle when it gets down to the wire. And having the dates of parties and holidays next to you makes it easy to know when you’ll need to shop for that food and save space in your fridge.

Ah yes, the fridge. Your old pal, full of old take out containers, a few odds and ends when it comes to ingredients, expired dairy products, and an endless assortment of condiments. Why do we do this? The fridge looks full, yet there’s nothing to eat.

Clean it! That smell can be taken care of with a box of baking soda. Just leave it open in he back corner and it will absorb it for you. Take your trash can and have it ready for the avalanche of forgotten meals it will need to hold. The old products and empty cartons need to get thrown out now so you can have space for leftovers during the holidays, but you’re much less likely to forget about those. Once you’ve emptied out all of the rotten veggies and old yogurts, now is the time to wash the shelves and clean it up in there to get a head start on the dishes.

Bravo. You have earned another break. But you are so far from being done.

4. The Yard

This is an ongoing task, and I’m afraid not much can be done that will stay done. Especially if you live somewhere the leaves turn red and then fall every time the wind blows. Honestly, it can’t really all be done at once. But after it snows, it has to stay there. That stick could trip you if your boot snags it and you forgot it was there. Those leaves will kill your lawn if they stand as a frozen barrier between the grass and the snow. And the weeds will only populate while they can.

Head to a hardware store and grab some tools if you need them. And get some gloves too, those thorns can be vicious. Taking care of lawn maintenance before you decorate should be high on your list of to-do’s, yet many people skip it all together. Clean out your gutters and send your hubby on the roof with a broom before you send him up with lights and a fake santa. It’s safer and it can actually save your roof from too much damage all at once.

Mow the grass while you can, trim your bushes before they get lined with lights, and rake those leaves up before they have to stay put for the next four months.

And if you have a dog, this is your last chance to double check nothing was left behind when your kids last took them outside.

5. The Car

If you’re traveling with your family, you have to clean out your car now! The tissues, old receipts that need to be organized, wrappers, straws, socks, and crumbs all need to go.

Suitcases and crock pots will soon take their place as well as bored kiddos and grumpy adults just trying to drive through the traffic. Pack those CDs into the car, download some podcasts, or get some audio books to help pass the time. But make sure the smell is gone too. Get a new air freshener and some febreeze. It’s amazing how much smell can come from one toddlers sock.

6. Finances and Documents

That giant pile of papers in your room, on your desk, or in your coffee table? Yeah, it won’t take care of itself. And during the holidays. The last thing you want to worry about is knocking it over so it isn’t 'organized’ anymore. Go through it now.

This will give you the chance to get your finances in order before you spend three hundred dollars on lights for the tree when really you can only spend thirty. I found a paper I wrote in fifth grade the other day, and tossed it right out. Honestly, why do we cling to these things? It has been in my life for ten years, and it has served its purpose. Now it’s time to go. This frees up space not only in your desk, but in your mind as well. It was one of those little things that you had been worried about for far too long. And now it’s finally gone.

7. The Decorations

Now is the time, folks, to get your final affairs in order. We are now approaching the holidays so please prepare for landing.

Decorations are the easiest thing in the world to freak out over when you get down to the wire. You count the lights, you measure for garland, you buy the plates and the napkins and even special straws that are made of paper. Candy canes are beautiful on a tree, but the tree isn’t up yet. Not to worry though. Your shopping list is that much smaller because you already took care of it.

Buying what you can ahead of time is something I’ve been doing since April. Buying candles, drinks, and even some gifts before they’re at their holiday prices is something I do to avoid the crowds and the chaos. Yes, I’m on a budget and I know how to work the system to my favor. Buying discount wrapping paper and tinsel the year before is nothing to hide, and props to you if you make your own decorations.

That’s what I did. Wreaths can be up to $70 when they come pre decorated. I bought one for ten and put my own decorations and lights on it for less than forty dollars. And I’ll use it over and over again. Making decorations can also help tame that beast inside of you that is screaming at you to put up the lights now! It’s not even thanksgiving, calm down you little elf.

Once you’ve ticked all of these things off of your list, you’ll find it much easier to breathe while you wrap gifts or wade through the sea of people at the mall. Having your lists organized, your budget in mind, and the peace of mind that your house is organized and ready, you’ll be unstoppable this holiday season!

Happy holidays everybody!

#food #holidays #happy holidays #christmas #cleaning #detox #stress relief #stressed #stress #tidy #tidyup #decoration #christmas lights #prepare for the holidays #oh boy #head start

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thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain · 7 years ago

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Wonderwall [Kai Parker fanfiction]

Hey everyone! I'm posting this chapter a little later in the day than usual, but that's okay because I actually met my deadline for myself. Anyway, I wanted to thank you all for your comments and kudos, and wanted to let you know that comments on my fics literally make my day, so don't be afraid to comment, even if it's a smiley face or just screaming. I love it and will respond to every one, even the screams lol.

With that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Warning tho, it has a bunch of angst, so be prepared.

You can read it on AO3, or you can read it here. Comments and kudos are very much appreciated, and I respond to every anon and comment.

[Table of Contents for the entire fic can be found here]

CHAPTER 3: TRUTH

I didn’t find out the truth about Kai until April of 1993.

The last days of 1992 came and went as the seasons changed. Winter turned to spring, and there were rarely any days that we didn’t spend together. If I came out first, I would page him and he’d come straight away, as if he was waiting for me. There were days where he paged me first, but not as often. We grew closer, from friendly strangers to good friends. We started sharing things, from music to memories.

There were some days where he was full of energy. He was his snarky, funny, sometimes annoying but loveable self. He wouldn’t be as afraid to touch me, though he still have his reservations about it, and I could tell it still made him uncomfortable. He used magic without a care, and though he wasn’t the best at it, I could tell using it put a smile on his face. I started bringing CDs for him to listen to on these days. He managed to get me into Pearl Jam, and I was ecstatic when he loved U2 as much as I did. There was even one time he almost lit my discman on fire because I had brought him a Spin Doctors album.

But there were days where he was different, almost like a completely different person. He’d be closed off, and he'd barely even speak to me. He took solace in my company, I could tell that much, but he wouldn’t talk much, and flinched if I got too close to him. These were usually the days where he would share things about his family. I tried to control my curiosity and let him open up to me in his own time; he didn’t seem like he’d respond well to being pressed. I found out some things; he had a twin sister named Josette, and two little twin toddlers. He mentioned often that he wasn't very liked by his siblings or parents, and he seemed to dislike them just as much. He didn’t really talk much about why though, just that he was different and they treated him as such.

The argument started around noon that day, and I wasted no time sneaking out. As much as I hated myself for it, I had almost started looking forward to my parents’ arguments. In just a couple short months, it had went from something that I dreaded to the best part of my day.

I started the trek to what I had affectionately started calling in my head “our spot”. Now that there wasn’t any snow, the walk was considerably shorter, and I found myself jogging to get there.

I slowed down as I approached. Kai was already there, sitting against a tree. He usually paged me as soon as he got there, but from the looks of it, he had been there for at least a little while. I heard him muttering and I smiled to myself. He had a habit of muttering. I wasn’t sure if he even realized when he did it.

My smile dropped as soon as I got a good look at him, though. He was trembling so hard that I could see it from a distance. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and he was hugging them close. His head was leaning back against the stump of the tree and his eyes were closed. His cheeks were wet and I could see a tear silently sliding down.

I knelt down in front of him and touched his knee gently to get his attention. His entire body stiffened immediately, and his eyes shot open. They looked wild; a mix of sad and hungry. They scared me a bit, but I held my ground.

“Kai?” I whispered instead. His eyes registered my face and he moved his knee quickly so I wasn’t touching it anymore. His eyes widened and looked to get even more frazzled. He backed up so he was flush against the stump.

“Halyn… You’re early.” He sounded shocked, and his voice was barely audible. “You’re not supposed to be here yet.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked. It wasn’t a question of if there was something wrong; he was clearly troubled.

He started shaking his head, and his words were just loud enough for me to hear. “They don’t understand. They don’t understand.” He was chanting it to himself, as if the more he said it, the less true it would be.

I acted on instinct. It was physically paining me to see him so sad, and my first thought was to bring him close to me in a hug. He stiffened immediately, but he made no move to escape my hug. I used my hand to guide his head into my shoulder, and I stroked the hair at the nape of his neck. “It’s okay,” I whispered in his ear. “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re not alone. I’m here.” I felt him start to relax and stop trembling, and I was thankful that I was helping him, even if it wasn't much.

The longer I held him, the more he melted into my touch. The tears had stopped, and he was calming down with every second. He leaned into me more, and draped his arms over me, returning my hug. One hand went to the small of my back and one went to the back of my bare arm.

I took a second to revel in his touch before it all went downhill.

My entire body felt like it was burning, like I was on fire. My head was spinning, and I couldn’t focus on anything. I felt as if my soul was being scooped out of my body. I felt my strength leaving, as if it was being sucked out of me through a straw. I slumped forward a little onto Kai, trying to use him to keep me up, but that only made the pain infinitely worse.

I couldn’t think, let alone speak. I racked my brain, trying to find even an ounce of concentration. I forced myself to take my mind off the pain for as long as I could to try to figure out where it was coming from. It was then that I realized it was coming from the places where Kai was touching me.

My arm felt like lead, but I managed to pick it up and wrap my hand around his bicep. “Kai…” I breathed out, squeezing his arm. I couldn’t imagine I squeezed it that hard, but it was all the strength I could muster.

He gasped loudly and moved away from me quickly. I felt myself falling, but I caught myself at the last minute. I managed to lift my head and look at him, and he was staring at me with wide eyes. He had moved as far away from me as possible, but I could still see the fear in his eyes.

“Oh my God.” I heard him saying to himself. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.”

“What did you just do?” I asked weakly. I felt disconnected from my body. Every movement hurt, and my skin was buzzing uncontrollably.

“Oh my God… I’m so sorry… please tell me you’re okay… please please please.” He moved closer to me again, and he gently moved a strand of hair behind my ear, careful not to touch my skin. As he got closer to me, I felt the buzzing intensify. Even if I wanted to move away, I didn’t have the strength.

“What did you do?” I asked louder and with as much force as I could.

“I didn’t mean to… I didn’t mean to take your magic… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

Take my magic? What was he talking about? I couldn’t think, but something about that sounded familiar. My mom had told me something about witches that can steal other people’s magic. What were they called?

“You’re a siphon… That’s why you don’t like me touching you… Why you won’t touch me…” I wasn’t sure if that was the name; my brain was way too cloudy to trust my memory, but I figured I was right by his reaction. He flinched when I said the name, as if it hurt him to hear. He looked away, and I could see the tears were starting to flow again.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he whispered. I didn’t know if it was because of the hurt in his voice or my delirium, but I believed him.

I groaned as I adjusted myself and sat up. “I know,” I said simply.

He looked at me, but when our eyes met he looked away quickly. He started pacing. Towards me and then away, towards me and then away.

He stopped with his back facing me and muttered something.

“What?” I asked.

He turned back to me, and I saw his anger bubbling up. “What are you waiting for? Go. Leave. Get as far away from me as possible.”

I couldn’t figure out if I had heard him right. “Leave… Why would I leave?"

“Because!” he screamed. I had to resist the urge to flinch at his tone. When he continued, though, he sounded broken. “I have hurt… everyone… that I have ever cared about… My own family calls me an abomination… Defective… I can’t even touch anyone… I am alone… I am alone!”

I felt a tear threaten to escape my eyes, and I didn’t try to stop it. I hated seeing him in this much pain. He walked over to me and knelt down in front of me again.

“So why… why should I think that you won’t leave me? Just like everyone else has?” He looked me straight in the eyes, daring me to tell him differently.

I sat forward and cupped his face with my hands. My hands started to vibrate as I made contact with his skin, but I tried my best to ignore it. At my touch, I felt him try to pull away, but I held him firm and in place. I could tell that I had caught him off guard, but that was what I was going for. I was not going to let him shut me out. Not over this.

I stared into his eyes. God, were they beautiful, but they were also broken. He looked absolutely terrified, sad, and angry all at the same time. That was the weight of his existence, the constant fear of hurting everyone, the constant pain of being shunned. It was the weight that he was carrying on his shoulders.

“If you think that I’m going to run over this, you are dead wrong. ” I saw a flicker of hope appear in his eyes, but he shut it down right away. He was trying so hard to not his hopes up. He started to try to protest, but I cut him off before he could even begin. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know you, Kai. This… This is a part of you… A big part… But it doesn't change anything, okay? I told you I was here for you, and I am… I am here for you… I mean it.”

He was shaking his head before I was even done talking. “You don’t understand,” his voice broke, and so did my heart.

“Then help me understand,” I pleaded with him. I knew that if I showed even a shred of fear, I would lose him. He so desperately wanted someone to believe in him, to care about him. I wanted to be that person for him.

He sighed, and I could tell he was resigning himself to the fact that I wasn’t leaving him to his self pity. I let go of his face and he moved to sit next to me. I folded my hands in my lap to try to get them to stop buzzing with his absence. It didn't help.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes. He clasped his hands and started rubbing his palms together. We were quiet for so long that it startled me when he broke it.

“You wanna know when I found out I was… I was a siphon?” His voice held so much pain that I almost didn’t want him to continue, but my curiosity got the better of me. He turned his head towards me and I nodded once. I couldn’t stop staring at his eyes. He looked so vulnerable, so broken. I had a feeling I was the first person he was telling these things to.

“I must have been… like five or six… And I was just… Holding my dad’s hand. You know, like little kids do… And it baffled me at the time that… he just started screaming… I thought ‘well, if something’s wrong, I should hold onto him… He can protect me’…” He chuckled a bit, but it was devoid of humor. “Imagine my shock when I found out he was the one who needed to be protected from me… Or at least, that’s what he thinks.”

He looked away from me with a shamed expression on his face. I wanted so desperately to reassure him, but I didn’t know how, so I stayed quiet.

“They… don’t get it. Not one of them… They wander around the house lighting things up and making them float… And me? it kills me… All that magic… It itches in my bones, it’s… it’s just beyond my grasp… and it feels like an addiction. The longer I go without it, the more I crave it and it’s… horrible. It's horrible. They try to paint me as the bad guy… the villain... the one who can’t keep his urges under control but… They don’t get it…”

He sighed. I wanted to tell him it would all be okay, but I knew he wouldn’t believe me if I did. “They won’t even let me touch them… Every day… I have to be so careful… If I lose control for even a second… Well, you know what happens.”

“Hey, look at me,” I said gently, and it bothered me that he didn’t acknowledge me. “Kai. Look at me.”

He turned his head slowly, and I wanted to touch him so badly. It felt like my energy was calling out to him, as if it wanted to be a part of him. I figured it was a side effect of the siphoning.

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, okay? I’m not gonna pretend to be able to relate to any of that, because I can’t… But I can listen… and I can be here for you… You don’t have to be alone… This is who you are… You don’t have to be ashamed of it.”

I could see his walls crumbling, but he was still fighting it. He still didn’t trust himself. “I hurt everyone I care about…”

I gave him a sad smile. “I don’t believe that. I believe in you, though. And I believe…”

I was taking a risk, but he needed to be able to trust himself. I reached out and grabbed both of his hands. He gasped and tried to pull them away, but I held my ground, squeezing them tightly in my smaller hands. “I believe you won’t hurt me.”

He looked down at our hands with wide eyes. I was hyperaware of the fact that he could siphon me at any second, and I could tell he was too. Yet, the pain never came. My skin was buzzing like crazy with the contact, but nothing beyond that happened.

“You are not an abomination, you are not a monster… you’re Kai Parker and I…” I stopped myself, thinking the sentence through before I said something I would regret. It was not the time for that. “Well… I think you’re pretty great.”

He gave me his lopsided smile, and with that, I knew I had won him over. “I am pretty great, aren’t I?”

I let out a huge laugh. I was so relieved to hear him joking around. I nodded, and with that I let go of his hands. His touch lingered on mine, but he eventually pulled away.

“Don’t be scared of yourself… I believe in you… Don’t forget that.”

He gave me a smile. He looked happy, genuinely happy, and I was thankful that I had caused it.

I clapped my hands together. “Well, come on then,” He gave me a perplexed look, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at it. “You have my magic… You might as well use it!”

His eyes lit up, as if no one had ever asked him to use magic before. I was sure no one had. I got up and gathered some rocks, placing them a couple of feet in front of him.

“How about you make these rocks come to you?” I gathered some more and made a second pile. I sat back down next to him and demonstrated, bringing the rocks gently into my hand.

He put his hand out in front of him and closed his eyes in concentration. As soon as he started trying to use magic, the buzzing intensified. It was as if my magic was drawn to him. I tried my best to ignore it, but it wasn't working that well.

The rocks shifted in place, but they didn’t move. He opened his eyes and looked over at me. He took his attention away from the spell for one second to try to tell me something, and the pile of rocks combusted. I held my arms up over my face to protect myself from the debris.

“Well, that was great.” He muttered and dropped his hand in defeat. I just chuckled.

“It wasn’t that bad…”

He just shook his head. “They exploded!”

I shrugged. “At least they didn’t catch on fire. Whenever I mess up a spell, I end up lighting things on fire.”

He laughed at me. “Well, that can be inconvenient. Unless, of course, you’re trying to light something on fire.”

I smiled and nodded. I was grateful for this. He was acting like himself again. He didn’t seem afraid anymore. I knew there was a part of him that would probably always be a little fearful of hurting people, but I was glad I was able to make it go away for a bit.

“Hey… Just curious. How long have you been out here?”

He shrugged. “Probably longer than I should be, to be honest.”

I played with the rocks in my hand. “They don’t notice when you’re gone?”

“No, they do…” He looked at me and smiled. “I’d just rather be out here.”

He sighed and looked up. “I should probably go back home, though.”

I was disappointed, but I considered it a victory that he was willingly going back to his family. I knew that he was too cocky to say it, but I could tell from the little smile that he gave me that he was grateful for my company. Conveniently enough, my pager started going off.

“Oh, well, I have to get home too.” I got dizzy as I was getting up, and I felt Kai grab my shoulder to keep my steady. He was barely touching me, but I felt the heat of his hands through my shirt. I was proud that he willingly touched me, and I hoped that the smile I gave him portrayed that.

“Are you okay?” He asked, and then moved his hand away quickly. He probably thought he hurt me again. His face was riddled with worry.

“Yeah. Just still a tiny bit weak from… earlier.” He gave me an apologetic look, but I waved it away quickly. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

I gave his shoulder a quick squeeze. "Remember. It’s who you are. Don’t be afraid of it.”

He nodded, and we went our separate ways. As we parted, the buzzing in my bones started to settle, which I was thankful for. I didn't know if I had convinced him, or if he would ever be able to let go of the fear he had of himself, but I had eased his mind for a bit. And in that moment, that was all that mattered to me.

I would like to give a big big thanks to @busysciencegeek for being the best beta ever. She has stuck with me throughout this very long writing process and has helped me to bring it to life.

If you would like to be tagged in future chapters, or removed from the taglist, let me know.

@the-sereinus @emarasmoak @karamelcoveredolicity @queenkaramel @taurusclh@karadanversprince @kaimonel @lovedangerandpassion @starcrossed-comets @mon-kai-el@fangirlintheforest @yeratimelordkatniss @cobrakaixx72 @facepalming-since-chernobyl@christopherwoods @chris-woods @whitewolfswidow @drunkonkai @abandoned-as-mustard@madeunmexico @blxssxd-cxrsx @gerardwayisafukinprincess @r3verse3arth @highkeysatan @nezaeya @serienfreakblr @iamtheseventhmagpie @gloriathex-kid @mrsobrien888@bigdaddyjalyn @smiles-and-skittles @tweetybird-101 @tvdmalachai @thediariesofanoriginal

#kai parker #malachai parker #malachi parker #kai parker fanfic #kai parker fanfiction #chris wood #the vampire diaries #tvd #the vampire diaries fanfic #the vampire diaries fanfiction #the originals #fanfic #fanfiction #wonderwall #wonderwall update #kai forever

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meadow-dusk · 6 years ago

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LONG LONG LONG

a music survey from livejournal days…

- TO TAKE THIS SURVEY, SIMPLY PUT YOUR MUSIC PLAYER ON SHUFFLE AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WITH THE TITLE OF THE SONG THAT COMES ON - [it’s better if you don’t cheat and don’t skip any songs.]

What is your name?: Moby Dick • Led Zep

How is your life going?: Get on the Right Thing • Paul McCartney

What is your nickname?: The Day the World Gets ‘Round • George Harrison

What is your theme song?: Little Games • The Yardbirds

What is your best friend’s theme song?: Wait • The Beatles

How is your life going to turn out?: Communication Breakdown • Led Zeppelin

Will you get married?: Four Sticks • Led Zeppelin

Will you have kids?: For What It’s Worth • Haley Reinhart

What will your job be?: Rattled • Traveling Wilburys

Did you/will you finish school?: Good Times, Bad Times • Led Zeppelin

Who is your best friend?: Behind that Locked Door • George Harrison

Who is or will be your significant other?: Think Pink! • Beyond Pink

Who do you like?: We’re All in This Together • High School Musical Cast

How will you die?: Stairway to Heaven • Led Zeppelin (YAAAAAS)

How do you feel right now?: Sentimental Journey • Ringo Starr

What is your favorite song?: Matilda Mother • Pink Floyd

How could you describe your parents?: Pilate and Christ • Jesus Christ Superstar (you can’t make this stuff up yall)

Your best friend[s]?: Postcards from Paradise • Ringo Starr

Your teachers?: She’s Not There • The Zombies

Your significant other [or crush…]?: Riding on a Bus • The Beatles (an interview)

Yourself?: Brian Bathtubes • The Beatles (taking requests)

What is your best feature?: The Riddle • Five for Fighting

What will you be/should you be, profession-wise?: Desire • U2

How could you describe this survey?: I Told You So • Randy Travis

What makes you angry?: Moanin’ • Chris Farlowe ft. Jimmy Page and a random sitarist (this song is so interesting)

What makes you sad?: Everything I Know • Mandy Gonzalez

What makes you happy?: One • Bee Gees

What makes you dance?: I Still • Backstreet Boys

What is your favorite color?: Sundown • Gordon Lightfoot

How would you describe yourself?: Heart Attack • One Direction

Who is your worst enemy?: Little Soldier Boy • The Yardbirds

Who do you hate?: No Me Diga • In the Heights

Who do you love?: I Started a Joke • Bee Gees

Who do you lust after?: What Do You Want? • The Yardbirds Finish the Sentence I wish: Rainy Day Women #12 and 35 • Bob Dylan I want to: We’re on the Road Again • Ringo Starr I want to kill:. Money • The Beatles I want to eat: Spring Musical Medley • HSM3 yall with Kryan duet to open My head: Sometimes I’ll Be There • Naked Brothers Band (accurate) I am: Movin On • Rascal Flatts My best feature is: The Sad Bells of Rhymney • Fifth Avenue My eyes are: Safest Place to Hide • Backstreet Boys My hair is: Who Can See It • George Harrison My face is: Baby Come on Home • Led Zeppelin You should: Not This Time • 3Lw

Random Words of advice: And Here We Are Again • The Beatles�� How do others see me?: Rhythm of Love • Plain White T’s How do I see myself?: Knowing Me, Knowing You • ABBA *** For this first section, put down the first ten songs that play, and then rate them on a scale of 1 - 5 (5 being the best) in the next column. 1. I Have a Dream • Abba 2/5 2. Sounds of Silence • Simon and Garfunkel 5/5 3. In The Flesh • Pink Floyd 4/5 4. Ya-Ya • John Lennon (ft. Julian on drums) 4/5 5. Magic Bus • The Who Live at the Isle of Wright 4/5 6. Stomp • Steps 2/5 7. KICK DA DUST UP • Luke Bryan 4/5 8. Your Mother Should Know • The Beatles 5/5 9. Photograph • Ringo (2017) 3/5 he sounds great but it isn’t exciting also who’s the chick I didnt sign up for this 10. Piggies • The Beatles 5/5 good one George Now for a little fortune telling… 1. Who am I?: Tug of War • Paul McCartney 2. Why am I here?: Bet On It • Zac Efron (skittles and steak) 3. What’s my theme song?: American Beauty/American Psycho • Fall Out Boy 4. How’s tomorrow gonna be?: Behind Blue Eyes • The Who 5. What does ______ really think of me?: Let’s Go to Vegas • Faith Hill 6. What’s this school year going to be about?: Man on Fire • Andy Gibb 7. Is something bad going to happen in the near future?: Little Bitty • Alan Jackson 8. What’s the government going to do next?: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band/The End • Paul McCartney Live at Citi Field 9. What’s my best friend doing right now?: Inutil • Carlos Gomez 10. What does my iPod/MP3 think about me?: American Girl • Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Last section! These next questions are all about music 1. I absolutely LOVE this song!: The Look of Love • ABC Comments: This was in Start the Commotion and there was a clip art of eyes as the O’s in look 2. I have no clue why this song is still on my music player: Steppin’ Out • John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers Comments: It’s saved because I occasionally really try to get into Clapton 3. This song has AMAZING lyrics: Love Will Find a Way • Pablo Cruise Comments: I remembered his initials but not his name

4. The band that does this song is one of my favorites: Most Peculiar Man • Simon and Garfunkel Comments: I would not say favorites but I give them their due 5. My dad loves this song: Songs About Rain • Gary Allan Comments: he bought the CD and took it on road trips so probs 6. My mom can’t stand this song: The Hook (All My Love) • Led Zeppelin Comments: she probably can stand it more than me 7. I have a sibling who enjoys listening to songs by this band: When You See a Chance • Steve Winwood Comments: fair to say that cause once she asked me what the name of Valerie was 8. One of my best friends hates the band that does this song: Like Nobody’s Around • Big Time Rush Comments: NO FRIEND OF MINE! 9. I got this song off a mix CD: Got My Mind Set On You • George Harrison Comments: I learned how to do the mashed potato to this song 10. This song is on a movie soundtrack: The Freedom Song • Jason Mraz Comments: could definitely be but don’t hold this one down

11. Share a memory involving this song in comments: Friday On My Mind • The Easybeats Comments: running to it - how was there this much good music at one time 12. I’ve played this song on repeat before: You’re My Number One • S Club 7 Comments: Try this ALBUM back when we used to play S Club and have choreography 13. This song is on the band’s Greatest Hit’s CD: Ramblin’ Man • Allman Brothers Band Comments: if it isn’t they screwed up 14. I love dancing to this song!: If You Wanna Do a Dance • The Spinners Comments: seems like that was the idea 15. This song gets me every time I hear it: Bathroom Sound (Out on the Tiles early take) • Led Zeppelin Comments: I prefer the final version with vocals and silly quips but this version does just as well for Bonzo Appreciation Time 16. This song is great to listen to when you’re angry: Farmer Refuted (Instrumental) • Hamilton Comments: OH MY GOD tear this dude apart 17. I love the music video for this song: I’m Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band) • Moody Blues Comments: if there is one it’s probably psychedelic so I’d dig it I bet 18. I’ve seen the band that performs this song live: The Boxer • Simon and Garfunkel Comments: I have not. This song is beautiful. 19. Is this song better to listen to at night, in the morning, or in the afternoon?: Let’s Get Rocked • Def Leppard Comments: morning, running. 20. I haven’t listened to this song in so long!: That’s the Way (Live Paris 1971) • Led Zeppelin Comments: not true it came on on the way to the gym barely a few weeks ago *** What were the first words to Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?: What ya gonna do when it’s cold outside? (Keep It Hid • Robert Plant) What did Martin Luther King have a dream about, anyways?: You’ve got a cute way of talking, you got the better of me! (You Make Me Feel Like Dancin’ • Leo Sayer) Tomorrow’s newspapers will all have the major headline of: Out in the Rain Looking for Sunshine (Permanent Stain • Backstreet Boys) If someone offered you some free drugs, how would you respond?: Lord almighty, feel my temperature risin’...(Burning Love • Elvis) What kind of higher power do you believe in?: You need coolin, baby I’ ain’t foolin (Whole Lotta Love • Led Zeppelin) What do people really notice about you?: There’s a girl I know who makes me feel so good (Valleri • The Monkees) What do you notice first in the preferred sex of your choice?: Hey fellas, have ya heard the news you know that Annie’s back in town (Heartbreaker • Led Zeppelin) What do you look for in reading books?: They say that Richard Cory owns one half of this whole town, with political connections to spread his wealth around (Richard Cory • Wings) What’s a must-have quality in a friend for you?: Meeting people along my way, seemingly I’ve known one day (Happenings Ten Years Time Ago • The Yardbirds) What scares the shit out of you?: Gat Kirwani • George Harrison (this has no words it’s just a sitar jam) How do you laugh?: Anna, you come and ask me, girl, to set you free girl? (Anna (Go To Him) • The Beatles) Why do you do these surveys?: When the night returns just like a friend, when the evening comes to set me free (If You Know What I Mean • Neil Diamond) Do you have anything you’d like to confess?: I can see you in the window waiting for my call (Untouchable • Big Time Rush) How do you feel about the person you cannot stand the most?: If ever you’ve got rain in your heart, someone has hurt you and torn you apart, am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me (Run To Me • Bee Gees) The best date ever, in your book, would consist of…: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you?(Dear Theodosia • Leslie Odom Jr. & Lin-Manuel Miranda) If you sent a random Hallmark card to a friend, you would write to them: Are we growing up or just going down? It's just a matter of time until we're all found out. (Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year • Fallout Boy) If you had the chance to speak to (a) God, what would you say?: Every time I see her, she don’t even look my way (Just My Style • Gary Lewis and the Playboys) Finish the sentence: “When the going gets tough…”: My friend came to me with sadness in his eyes and told me that he wanted help before his country dies (Bangla Desh • George Harrison) How do you deal with your stress?: I can almost remember their funny faces (Jet • Paul McCartney) What is your biggest burden in life?: Somebody’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell (Let Em In • Wings) What’s the coolest thing about your best friend?: Hands, put your empty hands in mine (Stand By You • Rachel Platten) Why do you love the one you do?: Sweet, wonderful you. You make me happy with the things you do (You Make Loving Fun • Fleetwood Mac) If a friend broke their arm and got a cast, what would you write on it?: Gonna build myself a castle high up in the clouds (Dance the Night Away • Cream) You see a stick and wet cement. What do you write?: It feels so right now hold me tight (Hold Me Tight • The Beatles) A guy just stole your (purse, car, etc)! What do you yell at him?: Welcome to the camp, I guess you all know why you’re here (We’re Not Gonna Take It • The Who) You pass a crack addict on the corner one day. Solemnly he tells you: Well now we’re respected in society, we don’t worry bout the things that we used to be, we’re talkin heroin with the president (Respectable • The Rolling Stones) What will your baby’s first words be?: He knows about you in every way, he's memorized every part of your face (Does He Know • One Direction) You are at your wit’s end, and decide to write a suicide note. It begins: The pound is sinking, the peso’s falling, the lira’s reeling and feeling quite appalling (The Pound is Sinking • Paul McCartney) Why can’t there be peace in the world?: Let’s talk about one, bay-bay, ya gotta hear me out (Get Another Boyfriend • Backstreet Boys)

How do you think people see you?: I walked in the band just started, the singer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket (Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo • Tracy Byrd) Inside, though, what kind of person are you really?: well the rain was a-fallin’ and the ground turned to mud, I was watchin’ all the people running from the flood (Deliver Your Children • Wings) If you wanted to comfort a friend, you’d say: Anytime, any day you can hear the people say that love is blind, well I don’t know but I say love is kind (Listen to What the Man Said • Wings) When you want to cheer someone up, you say: *I just make series of nonsense sounds* (Pow R. Toc H. • Pink Floyd) You’re unbelievably depressed because your friend just told you…: people say we’ve got it made, don’t they know we’re so afraid? (Isolation • John Lennon)

When you are incredibly bored, you start thinking about…?: I drive all alone, at night, I drive all alone, don’t know what I’m headed for. (Dead End Friends • Them Crooked Vultures) You’re a classy person, so instead of cursing when you’re mad, you yell…?: I met a gin-soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis (Honky Tonk Women • The Rolling Stones) you’re writing a love letter, but what are you going to begin it with?: The theater’s so obsessed with drama so depressed, it’s hard to sell a ticket on broadway! (Keep It Gay • The Producers) If you were to write a letter to the President of the USA, it would say…?: It’s a boy, Mrs. Walker, it’s a boy (It’s a Boy • The Who) What would someone have to tell you to make you really angry?: No no no no, don’t phunk with mah haaahrt (Don’t Phunk with My Heart • Black-Eyed Peas) …To make you really depressed?: Cars and girls are easy to come by in this day and age, laughing joking drinking smoking til I spend my wage (Over Under Sideways Down • The Yardbirds) ...To make you sexually aroused?: Catch a star if you can, wish for something special (Are You Ready for Love • The Spinners) Your first thoughts waking up were…: Life is just a bowl of All-Bran, you wake up every morning and it’s there (Happydaystoytown • The Small Faces) Your last words before falling asleep will be…: the sun is shining in the sky, there ain’t a cloud in sight (Mr. Blue Sky • Electric Light Orchestra)

#music survey #wow that only took me half a month #kari

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enygma0710 · 6 years ago

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Jonerys Fic Preview

Soooo, I’ve been working on 4 side writing projects. I’ve never worked on this many at one time. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but we’re just gonna go with the flow. Below is a preview of what I’ve been working on. It’s a Jonery’s Modern AU, where they grew up together and become best friends (one of my personal favorite fic tropes lol) This started as a one-shot but has grown into a 26 pages plot bunny that I had to get out while I work on my main Jonery’s fic and my Harry Potter fic. Not sure when I will post it, but figured there is no harm in sharing it.

Soo here we go, if you like it just let me know, also this is a random excerpt and the fic does not start out here, this is just the scene that popped in my head and got me writing:

Once in a Lifetime by Enygma0710

Modern AU, Jonerys

“Did anyone ever tell you that your choice in music is weird, Jon?”

Jon kept his eyes on the TV screen. “I prefer eclectic but then again this is coming from the same person that spent a few weeks learning the dance to ‘Single Ladies’?”

Dany threw a pillow at Jon, hitting him in the head. “Never disrespect Queen Bey in my presence, Snow.”

Jon cursed. “Thanks to you, I just lost the campaign and died.”

Dany rolled her eyes and kept looking through his CD collection. “Eclectic is right, you have The Stranglers, The Clash, Prince, Jimi Hendrix, A Tribe Called Quest, Nas, Wu Tang, Pharcyde, Talking Heads, Beastie Boys, Tupac, Nine Inch Nail, Nirvana, Cranberries, The Ramones, and wait what is this?” She held a CD on her finger. “Justin Timberlake?”

Jon paused his game. “It’s Sansa’s but Rick Rubin produced it so,” he shrugged.

Dany laughed. “You’re an interesting young man Jon Snow.”

Jon paused his game and looked over at her sprawled on his bed with his heavy CD binders surrounding her. “What exactly are you doing?”

“I need music for my ipod nano Rhae got me.”

“Why not ask Missy’s brother, he’s a DJ.”

Dany laughed, dryly. “Have you known any DJ to let anyone touch their music collection?”

Jon gave a noncommittal shrug, “Point.”

“Besides most of his music is on his laptop and he won’t let anyone near it.” She flipped through another section of his binder. “Where did you get all these CD’s from? I don’t remember you having this many.”

Dany continued to flip through Jon’s CD binder, when she noticed he was still staring at her with a contemplative look. He paused his game and stood up, walking towards his closet. She could hear him rummaging around before he returned with a large, grey storage trunk. He gestured for her to sit down next to him.

“What is this?” she asked as Jon, unlocked the trunk and opened it. Dany’s mouth dropped in surprise. The storage trunk was filled with an array of personal items Dany leaned forward, Jon nodded an ‘okay’ before she started rummaging through the trunk. There were stacks of CDs, cassette tapes and vinyl records in one half of the trunk. The other half held old colorful concert shirts, wrist bands with dates written on them in black marker, a few music magazines, a stuff teddy bear with a yellow plastic pacifier around it’s neck, a stack of ticket stubs held together by a rubber band, a few loose pictures and what looked like two small brown photo albums. She picked up a faded picture from the top of the pile. The picture was of two young women, both with long dark hair, arms wrapped around each other. The one on the right was smiling brightly, giving the peace sign with one hand, while the one on the left was sticking her tongue out at the camera, giving the sign of the horn. She flipped the photo over and saw written in faded blue ink ‘Lollapalooza ‘91’

“Jon, is this?”

“My mom, yep” He reached over and pointed to the one with her tongue hanging out. “That’s my mom and Ashara.”

Dany held the picture in her hand and looked at Jon, “You look like her.”

“That’s what my uncles always tell me. I haven’t really gone through it, not sure if I want to go through it yet, but-” he pulled out a stack of the CDs. “See if any of these are helpful for your ultimate summer mix.”

Dany held the CD’s in her lap and moved away from Jon as he started up the game again. She picked up the first few CD cases. “Thanks.” They slipped into a companionable silence until Jon cursed loudly and threw his controller.

Dany took the opportunity as her curiosity about Lyanna’s trunk started to grow. “So the trunk-”

“Uncle Benjen brought it down a few months ago.” He answered. “Apparently Ashara left it behind and didn’t tell him. He almost threw it out. It’s all of Lyanna’s things from when she was traveling.”

“You said you haven’t gone through yet?”

“I’ve gone through the music, I now know where I get my taste from,” He chuckled. “She had a hell of a collection; I found some rare mix-tapes and a first pressing of Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’ in there.” He put down the controller and pulled the vinyl in question out for Dany. “Mossador is going to help me convert some of the mix tapes to mpg.”

“Have you gone through the photo albums yet?”

Jon shook his head. “Can’t believe you’re going to spend the entire summer in Dorne with Rhaegar.”

She ignored the urge to call out Jon’s change tactic, instead she answered him. “I know, I had planned to get a job this summer, thought about lifeguarding with you.”

He shot her an incredulous look. “You? A lifeguard? You’d burn.”

“You’re one to talk, Northerner.” Dany tilted her head to the side. “Why are you going to miss me?”

Jon smiled “Hell no, just one less person to pester me this summer.” Jon dodged another pillow. “Besides, you’re breaking our plans.”

“Plans?”

Jon nodded and stood up, walking over to his desk. He pulled a small box from the shelves in front of it and dug through the box before pulling out a very crumpled piece of paper. He moved and sat down next to her on his bed, handing it to her.

Dany unfolded the paper and peered at the writing, before her eyes widen in surprise. “You kept this?”

“Why wouldn’t I? it was the first summer where we weren’t trying to kill each other. ”

Dany cleared her throat. “Dany and Jon’s awesome summers plans.” She scanned the paper. “These are adventurous to say the least.”

Jon leaned over. “See,” his finger dragged towards the bottom of the page. “According to our plans; this summer we were supposed to go backpacking along the bone mountains to either Yi Ti or Asshai. It looks like our eleven year old minds couldn’t make a decision on which one.”

Dany laughed. “It also appears that we were also going to go skydiving in Naath and you Jon, were going to scuba diving in the Jade Sea.”

Jon shrugged. “See plans, that you are not keeping. My twelve year old heart is broken.”

“What about your sixteen year old heart?”

Jon looked up to see Dany eyeing him carefully. She was biting her lip; a habit she’d had as long as he had known her.

“Honestly?”

She nodded.

“I’m going to miss my best friend.”

Dany gave a toothy grin, nudging her shoulder against his, “Same.”

“Did Rhaegar tell you where you guys would be traveling?”

“We’ll start in Dorne so we can meet up with Elia and the kids. I’ll be there for a week or two while he takes care of some business there, then we’re off to the Free Cities. Elia was able to arranged a few dance sessions, through her contacts in Braavos.”

“I thought you gave up on being a professional dancer?”

“I did for a while there,” Dany stood up from his bed and walked across the room. “It’s just dancing reminds me of my mother.” She turned and faced him. “All the dance recitals, rehearsals she was always there in the front row.” She performed a chaine turn in front of him. “I talked to Rhae about it and I decided to continue dancing, it helps when I start feeling down. I’ll never get over losing my parents but this is a way for me to keep a part of her with me you know?”

“Does this mean you’ll be dragging me to more dance recitals?”

“You bet your ass it does.” She laughed and began rummaging through a stack of college brochures on his desk. “Where are you applying in the Fall?”

Jon moved and sat back down in the bean bag chair in front of the T.V. “When do you leave?”

Avoiding my question again. “Monday.”

“Well, let’s use our time wisely.” He tossed her a controller. “Halo 3 or Gears of War 3?”

Dany plopped besides him. “Halo of course.”

They watch the game load and were left playing one final game before spending their first summer apart.

#fanfic #jonerys #fic preview

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musicoccurred · 4 years ago

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Mixtapes

The mixtape, a word that is dependent on who's using it and when. I'm middle-aged and came up in the 80s and 90s so it means something different to me than a kid today or a band camp rapper. Having said that, let's take a look at the different usages of mixtape and see if we can crown a winner of the top type of mixtape.

For those of us with achy knees and patches of gray in our hair, a mixtape was, first and foremost, actually on a tape. Now there were themes involved just as there are now with some of the others I'll mention in a bit. For instance, every Sunday there was Rick Dees Weekly Top 40 radio show. I would often drop a blank cassette in my boom box and hit record. I would then go watch TV in the living room and keep an ear out for the telltale 'click' of the tape running out. I'd run back to my room, flip the tape, and hit record again. You have to understand, before the internet, geez that never not sounds old, the radio ruled. Even with albums, cassettes, and later CDs you still listened to the radio all the time. That's why I love XM so much, there's something about having someone curate music for you. And even today with every song available at the tap of a finger there's something awesome when your jam comes on the radio. It just hits different. I digress. So now at the end of the countdown you have the top 40 songs of the week, or however many you had enough tapes for... You can now make a mixtape of your favorite tracks. Radio also had "Request and Dedication" shows where you could call in and request a song and give a little dedication to your amore. You could record that and toss it at the beginning of the mixtape and good things happen. Another type would be artist specific. Say you were a Michael Jackson fan, you could take Off the Wall, Thriller and Bad and make a tape of your favorite songs from each. Another would be genre, when I was first getting into blues and jazz, I'd borrow tapes from my Mom and friends to make mix tapes. And last but not least, the mixtape for your love interest. These were the ultimate, you'd diligently record songs from the radio and mix in a song or two from either an artist she didn't know or an obscure song from a known artist to show you were a deep brother. You weren't done yet! You'd then work hard on the label and of course the note to go along with those 10 songs that perfectly sum up your feelings for that person. On a side note, I'd like to take this opportunity to say if you were the object of my unrequited affection and received one of these, I apologize. Unless you liked it, then, hey girl.

Next up we have the burned CD mixtape. It is the evolutionary cousin to the cassette mixtape. While it took a while for CD burners to become ubiquitous, they eventually showed up, primarily in PCs. What was lost in recording from the radio was picked up by being able to download from Napster and pass along. Additionally, you could write or draw on the CD itself and the labels, if you went that route, were larger for track listing and any other info you wanted to toss in there.

Now we're moving on to the streaming portion of the discussion:

Note: I'm using playlist and mixtape interchangeably here.

One step removed from the burned CD and what seems lightyears beyond the cassette technologically is the custom, personally curated playlist. This can be a playlist you do for yourself; I have several in Spotify. I will sometimes dump an entire artist's collection in there to shuffle, or perhaps include only the tracks I like best. I also have one for jazz and one for funk called 'greasy.' But in the spirit of this piece, I'm thinking of a playlist that you create for someone else and share the link with them. I actually like this, not only can you send them a custom mix of songs that can express how you feel about them, but you can update the playlist anytime. It can be romantic or simply sharing new tunes with a homie.

Next, we have the algorithmically created playlist. When you sign in Spotify (I'm assuming other services offer similar features) and you get the daily list or the multiple "just for you" selections, this is what I'm referring to. Spotify uses the data from your listening habits to create playlists with songs from artists they think you'll like. It's pretty accurate with a few swings and misses. I have to say I'm a fan of including these playlists as well as listing other artists similar to the one you're listening to. I've discovered so many new bands this way. Alternatively, there are playlists that are created based on other factors. I work out with playlists on Spotify and XM such as Hip hop workout or Lithium Workout. These are likely created based on a beats per minute count. Some don't really fit the workout but have a faster beat. Overall, I like this style of mixtape/playlist.

Finally, we have the artist mixtape. This is generally hip hop but isn't necessarily limited to any specific genre. I relate it to an EP being released prior to an LP back in the day. Some of these have very rapid turnarounds, like a day or two so sometimes the quality of the mix isn't that great but topically it's right on time.

So how do these rank in terms of which mixtape format is best? Let's find out!

5. Artist Mixtape - This may be one of those "not for you" cases but I'm not a fan of most of these I've heard. Some are pretty good, but most feel rushed or worse, don't have a cohesive feel to the tracks. The ability for artists to drop tracks near instantly is pretty amazing and I do like the idea of it. We'll see how that continues to develop.

4. Algorithmically created playlist - While I use these pretty much every single day, they lack the human touch - hello, algorithm - which is what makes the mixtape great.

3. Burned CD - I probably surprised you here with this at number 3. I do think it has a lot of strengths and is still a physical object that gives the human touch. But there were some issues. If you're old enough to have gone through the burned CD era, you'll know the pain of burning a CD for it to simply not work. Sometimes the person you gave it to had a CD player that wouldn't play those or you needed a CD -R or +R or RW, it was awful.

2. Personally curated playlist - While fully digital and not that personal this does have the ability to add and remove songs as you go. Plus, when you email the link to the person you can toss in a nice note about how you thought about them when making it.

1. Cassette - I mean come on, it's called a mixTAPE right? Clear winner here. Yeah, I'm old but there was something about it.

Epilogue:

I listen to either streaming music or records. I'm resisting the urge to get back into cassettes even though I have a couple decks and tapes. My cassette collection didn't survive growing up. Honestly, I have no idea where they went. I still have my CDs but before I would play a CD, I would stream it. There's something human about playing a record or a cassette. We are a touching, feeling creature and it means something to flip that tape over or to hold the liner notes on a record. I think that's lost on the younger folks. As everything is digitized and available on a screen it loses some of its meaning. I like buying concert tickets online but man, there's something about lining up at Macy's or JC Penney's or wherever your ticket office was and buying a physical ticket they handed you. When I have the option, even if it's a couple bucks more I still try to get physical tickets. In 20 years, I can look at that stub and remember the show, I can't do that with a barcode on an app.

What's your favorite format or mixtape/playlist?

-js

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thesubtextmachine · 7 years ago

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For @smelllikeboy, as your secret Santa, A moodboard which is a direct companion to a Playlist/Headcanon? (I’m not entire sure what it is, tbh) when Cyrus and Jonah are voted Cutest Couple, sometime in high school. Each song is part of a scene description, like a soundtrack to a movie.

Carried Away//Passion Pit It’s a Thursday on the second to last week of school, just before finals begin. As this song plays softly in the background, energizing the brisk movements down the hall, the entire group of five (Andi, Buffy, Cyrus, Jonah, and Marty) attempt to walk down the hall together, although other students keep walking into the wall of people. To ""save space"", Jonah wraps his arm around Cyrus' shoulders, missing the subtle-ish blush that this causes. They talk about their upcoming summer plans, and Cyrus finds that Jonah will be heading out to California for a two-week long vacation as soon as school lets out.

Wake Up Call//Nothing But Thieves During lunch, the gang heads to get their yearbooks. The music fits with the heavy thirds of yearbooks being slammed shut, or their thick spines being hit on tables or dropped on other books. They feel upbeat, but there is no denying the sense of uneasiness surrounding them. Cyrus sees students whispering and pointing at him and Jonah, and he feels the burn of fear, if only for a second.

Eaten Alive//Diana Ross Cyrus and Jonah realize that they were voted Cutest Couple, as proceed to freak the fuck out. Cue a lot of pacing, a lot of "what if my mom sees? She doesn’t know I’m gay!" "Wait, Cyrus, you’re g-" "not important, Jonah! What’s important is that my life is over". A lot of confusion and fear of bullying. Buffy insists that they make a plan to get out of the situation, which goes over better than Marty saying "wait, you two weren’t dating?"

Way Down Now//World Party Once the panic calms down, Cyrus and Jonah have a laugh to themselves about the crazy situation they’ve found themselves in: everyone thinks that they’re dating, and that is totally crazy, haha right? Absolutely bonkers. It’s wacky and crazy, and then Cyrus comes to the conclusion that Jonah ~obviously~ doesn’t like him back, so he has to dispel these rumors at any and all cost to keep Jonah from embarrassment. Jonah doesn’t know why Cyrus' insistence that they end these rumors hurts him in that weird, heartbreak-y way, but he goes with it.

Sofa (Nonchalant)//Chapeaumelon Cue planning sequence, in which Buffy uses index cards and a purple marker to solidify the plan. Phase 1: Stop acting like a couple. Phase 2: Flirt with other people. Phase 3: Appear to be totally platonic guy friends that no one would mistake. In this order.

That Thing//Hazel English Phase 1 commences, and Cyrus and Jonah try to quell their near-constant eye contact. They stop holding hands and they stop sitting right next to each other on any bench. A girl walks up to Cyrus and asks why he had a fight with Jonah, and Cyrus realizes that he actually begins to miss Jonah's close presence in his life. He then realizes that just because he can’t tangle ankles under the table with his best bro doesn’t mean that he can’t send heartfelt messages to him over text. Cue the sappiest shit as they get out their "totally platonic" affection for each other with compliments that blur the line in the nicest way. Cyrus thinks that he may have just cracked the code to having a good guy friend.

Boys Don’t Cry//The Cure When Cindy Walker decides to throw and end of the year party, all is looking up. The GHC realize that now is the perfect time for Phase 2, and Jonah and Cyrus set out to flirt their hearts out. It doesn’t work as well as planned, because people only offer their condolences about the apparent fight that caused such a rift in Jyrus. They offer well wishes, and everyone is pretty frustrated until someone suggests Spin the Bottle. Most people roll their eyes about teen stereotypes before giving in and deciding to go for it. Eventually, Cyrus spins the bottle and it lands on some guy in Jonah's English class. They kiss, and Jonah is overcome by such deep sadness and even jealousy that he storms out. He has a long moment in Cindy's backyard, stricken with the realization that he’s in love with one of his best friends. Buffy follows after him, and confronts him. He says that he has a crush on Cyrus. She rolls her eyes. "What you have is bad timing, honestly. Well, if it’s any consolation, now everyone thinks that you two are definitely dating." She gives him a one armed hug as he buries is face into his hands, caught between crying and laughter.

More Troubles Talk Too Much-COIN Some people apparently find themselves fascinated enough by the public theatre of Jonah and Cyrus (or at least what they perceive to be Jonah and Cyrus) that they get a small campaign growing. Cus a planning scene of their own, with a similar setup. Phase 1: Get Jonah and Cyrus in a room together. Phase 2: Get them inspired to fix their issues. Phase 3: Play some romantic songs to get them feeling romantic enough to patch things up. The gossip mill runs wild, and crazy rumors are shared.

I’ve Got You Under My Skin//Frank Sinatra Cyrus and Jonah are herded into a room and prompted to talk out their issues. They decide to go along with it, because they both have some beef from the recent events that they wanted to sort out. So to the soundtrack of romantic jazz classics, they fight. Cyrus asks Jonah why he’s ruining the plan he wanted, Jonah asks why Cyrus wants them to get rid of the rumors so badly, and it elevates until Cyrus storms out furiously, leaving Jonah dumbfounded as he tries to sort out his next move.

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)//The Proclaimers After the big fight, Jonah and Cyrus give each other the silent treatment. The GHC is confused, but they figure out the basics pretty quickly, from the not-so-unrequited crushes to way that they seem more butthurt that truly angry. They draw sticks, and Marty gets the shortest one. He goes to Jonah and has a heart to heart with him about the situation, and they prepare a new plan to the tune of upbeat hype music.

Happy Together//The Turtles Because Marty's entire concept of romance is based off of 80's rom-coms, he suggests making a mix CD of love songs. Jonah goes for it, and a montage ensues as Jonah strives to make the perfect mix CD, with good song selection, a great case (Andi helps him out on that front, and he learns so much about decorating CDs that he gets distracted by the allure of crafting. He's halfway through a keychain when Marty calls him to tell him that the songs had been successfully burned onto the CD, and he’s reminded of the pressing task).

Wherever Would I Be//Dusty Springfield Jonah knocks on Cyrus' door, and presents him with the CD, and it’s covered in slips of paper with pink shades. He pops open the case to see, written on the CD in black sharpie, "for my crush (AKA Cyrus)". It’s dorky and awkward and perfect. And Cyrus looks up in shock. Jonah has a speech, but he only gets halfway through it, because next thing he knows he’s kissing Cyrus and it’s epic, it’s gloriously cinematic and he decides that mix CDs must be some sort of magical.

And She Was//Talking Heads We flash forward to the last day of school. The position is similar to that of the beginning, where the GHC is walking down the halls together. They’re all smiles, and Cyrus and Jonah have their hands linked casually, leaning into each other and making the General School populace glad that they voted the pair to be Cutest Couple. The group discusses their summer, and how to stay in touch with Jonah while he’s riding the docious magocious waves of California. Everyone was content and feeling alright, ready for summer. The end.

#andimacksecretsanta #Andi mack #jyrus #cyrus goodman #jonah beck

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kutekasplon · 7 years ago

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Tagged by @b-buh-billy

Rule #1 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better: @elevensconverse @beepbeeprichie @mistletoehanlon @kitaruhakiashi I only did 4 cuz I’m trash

Rule #2 Highlight the true statements in bold (brackets are personal comments)

I am 5'7 or taller

I wear glasses (I can’t see for shit)

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing (My ears, and I want to get my nose done too)

I have blonde hair

My abs are somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

I love meeting new people

People tell me I’m funny (I guess)

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me (I will listen for hours)

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude to people I know well (I’m rude to everyone)

I started to say something ironically, now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality (I’m hella awkward)

I can play an instrument (I play the ukulele)

I can sing well (I’ve been in talent shows)

I can do 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory (I will tell you the exact thing said at the time day month and year)

I’m good at doing maths in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle (Both people let me win :))

I can make at least 3 meals from scratch (Mac and cheese, cake, and lasagna rolls)

I can throw a punch (I was in martial arts for 4 years)

I enjoy sports (I’m terrible but I love volleyball)

I have learned a new song in the past week (Other then tumblr music is all i do with my life)

I’ve gone running at least one week in the summer (It was hell and I was training for a 5k that I didn’t even end up doing)

I work out at least once a week (It’s really hard to find motivation)

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I have done martial arts

I have had my first kiss

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (literally and show that I find on netflix)

I have had alcohol (My mother was the one to give it to me, but it was only wine)

I have scored a winning goal in sports

I have been to an overnight event

I have been in a taxi (Does Uber count?)

I have been in hospital/er in the past year (My moms a nurse I go to her work all the time)

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country (Mexico)

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts (TWENTY ONE FUCKIN PILOTS IT WAS EPIC)

I have at least one person I consider a best friend (I love her with all my fucking heart)

I live close to my school (Sadly like 5mins away)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling (1 half bro, and 3 half sis’s)

I live in the US (I want to burn this place to the ground)

There is snow right now where I live (it has never ever snowed here)

I have hung out with friends in the past week.

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush for over a year (i had a crush on my best friend for two years lmao)

I have been in a relationship for over a year

I have had feelings for a friend

I have break danced

I know a person called Jamie

I have made a new friend in the past year

I have eaten a waffle today

I have had a teacher with a last name hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair (i used to dye my hair like every second week but i had to stop cause i started working)

I am listening to a song on repeat right now

I know what to do with my life

I have punched someone in the past week

I have known someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I speak at least two languages (I’m learning spanish rn and I know english)

#zani facts

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