#my friend wrote it out but i changed some of the translations to suit the story better so its pretty bad

[dropthedemiurge]

Time of Fever (Donghee/Hotae story recap) #1

Since this movie (Unintentional Love Story's spinoff, prequel about Hotae and Donghee) is currently shown only in cinemas in Korea, I went and watched it :D And for people who don't mind spoilers or want to know what's their story without waiting until it becomes available and translated online, I wrote a recap!

It turned out to be... uhh... quite lengthy so I'll make several posts or comments :] Let me know if you want to be tagged in them!

Disclaimer: I'm putting everything under 'read more' so people won't catch spoilers accidentally! Screenshots are from the trailer, I put them along the scenes I described. Disclaimer #2: I'm not fluent in Korean (especially listening to it by-ear) and some characters had accents/satoori so some details can be missed. But I tried my best to write down what I was definitely sure about :D I'm re-listening to my audio recording so it won't be that far away from truth.

Enjoy!

Hotae is standing outside, dressed in a suit, looking far away as kids shout around. The camera pans out, and it's revealed he's dressed in a funeral-attending suit (seems like his father has died). The kids' ball rolls to his feet, and they ask Hotae to pass them the ball back. Hotae leads the ball and plays the football with kids, starting to smile.

Hotae moves to the big cottage-like house with backyard and peach trees where his mom (and also Donghee) has been living. He is eager to rush into the house, calling out 'Hyung!' but Donghee isn't at home. Hotae is looking at all the old shelves, childhood books and sport trophees. 

He texts Donghee "Hyung, I arrived! When are you coming?". Donghee hasn't responded but he was coming after school, hesitantly walking along the house outer wall. Hotae notices him and sneaks to hide in bushes, jumping over and surprising him. I think they haven't seen each other for 2(?) years. They bicker a little. Then Hotae says: "Hyung, you haven't changed at all". Donghee replied with: "You grew up well, Go Hotae."

Their moms are chatting and suggesting Hotae goes to Donghee's school, while Hotae is taking out books outside and Donghee is studying inside the house. They steal glances at each other through the window.

Donghee and Hotae go through school's gates, Donghee is grabbed by a friend and Hotae is stopped by the guard (because of his improperly looking uniform). Then we're at the swimming pool, Hotae is in the team, getting scolded along with other late students. The head(?) of the team is Donghee's friend who said Hotae better be working hard, if he wasn't Donghee's younger bro (not specified meaning sibling or just junior) they would've kicked his ass. Hotae bites back that he's not Donghee's younger bro.

Donghee came home late, Hotae was waiting for him. He speaks to Donghee very informally and disrespectfully, 'You know what hour it is? Don't you hear me? Hey, Kim Donghee!' Donghee: "Are you out of your mind? Why aren't you calling me hyung?".

Hotae asks Donghee if he got 1st place in competition and says that he has to also earn 1st place then. He asks Donghee to come see him, even if it's just evaluation and not competition. Donghee responds that he'll come see Jisoo (his friend on the swimming team), Hotae is annoyed. "Say it once again! Who you'll come to see?! - Yoo Jisoo. - Again. - Who?>:(( - Aaah damn it, fine. You, I'll come to see you, happy?" Hotae is, indeed, happy and promises to get 1st place.

The swimming competition starts, Hotae starts well but fails. Donghee's standing outside waiting. Jisoo comes to him offering to come get some food, but Donghee declines. Jisoo's like ah, you're waiting for your guy, alright.

Donghee goes to search for Hotae. Hotae is sitting near the wall in his swimming suit, towel on his shoulders and head, he's trembling while crying. Donghee sits in front of him and says: "Wow, you're really ugly :D Get up, let's go grab some food. No? Alright, just cry out as much as you can then. I won't tell anyone."

They walk back home down the train road, lit up by the sunlight. Hotae: "Aah the sun is so bright, my eyes hurt." Donghee: "Isn't it because you cried so hard?" Hotae: "No!>:(" They bicker a little, and Donghee laughs at Hotae's face expression again. Meanwhile, Hotae was emotional but now he's in awe because there is someone watering bushes behind Donghee, and there are droplets of water and bright warm sun, and Donghee looks so beautiful. They walk back home together.

Hotae watches his mother dot on Donghee as he leaves home again. Hotae follows Donghee and discovers he's often staying in the old art workshop schoolroom. There are old drawing easels and canvases, books everywhere and two plaster busts. Hotae wanders around and tries to peek into sketchbooks, Donghee rushes to him and grabs the dark blue sketchbook out of his hands, scolding him not to open it.

(screenshot not from this scene but this is the view of that school art studio~)

Hotae discovers some book lying around and opens up to read it. It's a story about man turning into an insect (I didn't see the cover but I can safely guess it's "The Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka?). Hotae is confused what kind of story is this. Donghee is like "If one day I get turned into an insect, (will you still love me) am I Kim Donghee or am I an insect?". Hotae is still confused about his question and the book.

Hotae falls asleep, napping in the studio while Donghee studies. Donghee walks away without him but slams the door loudly so Hotae wakes up and runs after him. It's raining outside, they are covering their head with hood (H) and backpack (D). In the middle of rain pouring, Hotae stops giving any fucks and spreads his arms, shoving his face under the rain. Donghee looks at him, smiles and does the same. They both enjoy the pouring rain and play in it, until they run to hide in the tunnel.

Hotae laughs, they remember their childhood. Donghee asks why Hotae doesn't call him "hyung". Hotae doesn't answer but comes to him and helps squeeze out the water from his orange fluffy sweater. Romantic mood, cue~

The rain turns into thunderstorm when they are already home. They sleep next to each other on different futons. Donghee's back is turned to Hotae, he's facing the window. He's trembling under the blanket. We get flashback to an angry man (his dad) punching and hitting Donghee to the ground amidst lightning and thunder.

Hotae stirs up and asks whether he's cold or scared. Donghee tells him to just go to sleep, but Hotae refuses. Then he's like 'aah whatever, move!', gets up and lies right next to Donghee (back to him). After a while, Donghee turns and scoots closer, clasping his shirt in his fingers, asking Hotae not to mind it.

Hotae asks: "You weren't like this before, what happened? - Everything changes, so I have changed too." Donghee almost noses into him. Hotae feels the breath from his lips on his back, gets shivers and remembers it next morning as well.

They sit on a porch of the house, Donghee brought Hotae some cut up tomatoes to eat. Hotae whines that it's too hot. He grabs tomato, bites in it and the drop of juice escapes down his arm. Donghee fixates on it and reaches out to wipe it with his fingers. Hotae freaks out about it, gets a bit rude and leaves.

He's swimming in the pool alone, full of thoughts about Donghee that obviously bother him. There's a random girl who meets him after his practice, she confesses to Hotae and asks him out. Hotae: "Well, alright".

They walk together, but Donghee was playing basketball and now is going home. Hotae tells the girl he'll be leaving and runs to Donghee, putting an arm around his back that Donghee says to keep to himself. Girl, frustrated, yells after him. Donghee is confused but Hotae tells him not to mind it and offers to go grab some food.

Days go by, Donghee keeps texting Hotae to help him with something (like 'buy some eggs on the way home', or 'bring me earphones' etc), Hotae ditches his new girlfriend because of "urgent thing", and rushes home with eggs.

Donghee is cooking and is surprised to see his face (there is a small wound). We learn that girlfriend cursed at Hotae and slapped him for not giving her any attention and constantly ditching her. Hotae says it's nothing, he just broke up with his girlfriend. "Why? - Because I bought eggs. - What even is this…" 

Donghee walks home from school, he sees Hotae and goes to him happily but Hotae's with another girl who confesses to him and asks to become her boyfriend, and Hotae once again says "Alright then". Donghee is upset.

He returns home late, and Hotae yells at him because he was worried and Donghee wasn't responding to any texts, yet he was holding a phone in his hand (idk why but he had two in the movie xD). They bicker again about Hotae addressing him impolitely. "- Ya! (Hey) - Ya? Ya?! Hey, are you really not calling me hyung, you–"

Hotae looks at Donghee. "I can't (call you hyung). I won't!"

He walks away from him, but after awhile stops and turns back. "Go faster!" He returns and grabs him by the wrist, dragging him towards the house. Donghee smiles. Even when he tells Hotae to take his hand away, Hotae won't.

[to be continued–]

[pycobutterpie]

Stranger in my kitchen

Summary: Dean goes full to protective dad mode, as he sees a stranger in his kitchen touching his daughter.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: firing a gun in front of a baby

Word Count: 1392

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please don't judge me for using a translator for this original text. I wrote it together with my friend Minnie who has added the part of Lu and Y/N. We are so exited to add something to this beautiful community of writing for dean. Also this is my first fanfic ever published outside my inner circle of writing friends. (In our story it also became true, that Dean is Bens real father. And Bobby never died. ;) )

[Y/N's POV] It was actually a normal day at the Winchesters' house. Dean had been on a hunt with Bobby and should be home soon. Ben was still sleeping his bed upstairs. The two dogs were running around in the garden and also needed a little time to themselves… Baby Cassidy was already awake with her mother Y/N. Cassy was in damn good hands and was currently sitting in a little baby bouncer on the kitchen counter and Y/N was clearing out the dishwasher. But they weren't alone. On one of the bar stools sat a man, not much older than Y/N and Dean, in a smart dark blue suit and white shirt that wasn't completely buttoned up. In his hand was a steaming cup of coffee and on his hand was a ring with a black rectangular stone in it. With the other hand, he nudged Cassy's bouncer and smirked at her. Y/N had just tied her hair up in a bun and was wearing just a top and hot pants as she crouched behind the counter at the dishwasher. Cassy started laughing and just babbled to herself.

[Dean's POV] Hunting. An activity in which Dean felt completely free and could rely entirely on his instincts. It was what he had learned, what he was born for. Making the world a better place, saving lives. The family business.

For once, it wasn't about changing diapers or talking to stuffy principals. No, Wendigos didn't talk and Dean understands Bobby without words. So the men had chased the thing in the nearby St. Jeffreys mine for a few hours and finally sent it to purgatory. It was life like before the unexpected baby happiness. The hunt had been all about instinct, speed and accuracy. That was what Dean had been living for the last few hours.

And that was what he needed now, when he saw a strange man sitting at his kitchen table, holding out his hand for his Cassidy. The strange man was wearing a suit. He was sitting with his back to the doorway through which the hunter had just stepped. An advantage, if only for a split second.

And the pistol was already in Dean's hand, loaded with silver bullets, aimed at the stranger's back.

Dean pulled the trigger immediately.

There were no thoughts clouding his mind. No details that he noticed. Shoot first, ask questions later. That had always been the motto. At least that of John and Dean Winchester. The bullet that Dean hoped would save his daughter went off with a loud bang. Then his gaze was diverted by a person appearing from behind the counter. It was Y/N, who Dean's subconscious had classified as missing before. That's why he hadn't hesitated for a moment to shoot the stranger. Because nobody was allowed to get too close to his little Cassy. No one.

If you had time to look at Dean, you'd see a serious guy with soot and dust on his face, trousers and jacket. A bloody scratch adorned his left cheek, his knuckles were cracked and his palms were scraped open.

[Y/N's POV] Y/N hadn't given any thought at all to the fact that her cousin Lu had announced himself. Twenty minutes before his arrival. Of course, that was typical of him, as always. If he announces himself at all. But she was a good hostess after all, offering her visitor a coffee immediatly. And although he wasn't purely human, she knew he posed no danger whatsoever. Not to Ben, not to her, let alone to Cassy. She had even asked him to help her with some of her research into Cassy's powers and how to secure certain parts of them. But nonetheless, she knew Dean would be back later today. But she just figured the situation could be resolved with a simple round of introductions. But that wasn't the case. Dean came in in the manner of his father and started shooting at everything he didn't know and couldn't categorize. Great…

But Lu was quicker. He had already heard the footsteps crunching on the smooth tiled floor. Because Dean's shoes didn't look particularly clean from the hunt in the forest and so he also heard the safety catch on the gun and then automatically raised his hand towards Dean and the bullet made it out of the barrel of the gun but fell to the floor just before it hit his suit.

Y/N screamed briefly and slapped her hand over her mouth, but then saw how battered Dean looked… "Baby! What happened?" She had also dropped a cup that she had just taken out of the dishwasher and then immediately ran over to Dean, took the gun out of his hand and stuck it securely in the back of her waistband.

Lu had stood up in the meantime and straightened the front of his Armani suit and then looked over at Cassy again and stroked her lightly over her small hand. "Well, it looks like your daddy in a damn bad mood…" He looked to Dean with a grin now, being slightly provocative of course… But that was just the way he was. Otherwise, he was a kind-hearted person, if you could call him that…

[Dean's POV] Dean lips twitched in anger as the guy stopped the bullet just like nothing. That wasn't human. Something like that shouldn't be in this house. Briefly, he froze slightly as Y/N took the gun away from him and remained totally calm. She even seemed taken aback by Dean's reaction. Only slowly did he realize that she could also have an insurance agent visiting or someone from the youth welfare office. But that was out of the question, because the man was totally unimpressed by the fact that he had almost been shot.

What was wrong with the guy and his mocking grin? Dean looked at Y/N in amazement, because she must have guessed what had happened. He almost nagged at her: "A strange, supernatural guy is trying to touch my daughter. This maybe?" Long slimy fingers trying to hurt a cute baby. But not in Dean's kitchen!

Quickly, the hunter rushed to Cassidy and picked her up from the rocker to his dirty arms. The comforting smell of fresh baby skin and diapers came into his mind and grounded him a little. The little girl didn't quite know whether to be happy or cry and looked a little frightened.

Dean turned his child away from the stranger so that he couldn't touch her again. The protective father turned threateningly to the suit guy: "Get your paws off her or you'll have mine in your face!" He would love to deform that polished face a little, given the stranger's audacity. Dean protectively placed a hand on Cassy's head. Only Y/N's light-heartedness kept the hunter halfway to the ground. Eagle-eyed, he tried to spot something about his girlfriend. Some strange behavior. Was she under a spell? "So, what's this, huh?" he asked, still growling slightly.

[Y/N's POV] Lu stood there grinning, his hands buried in his pants pockets by now and leaning against the counter in the kitchen, really very relaxed and not at all intimidated. He then picked up his coffee cup, spread his little finger and simply watched the spectacle that was unfolding between the two of them. As panicked, angry and heroic as Dean was acting, it really amused the cousin.

Y/N rolled her eyes, but then realized that she should have warned Dean that Lu was coming over. She ran a hand through her hair and then said, "Dean…please… If there's someone in this house, I let them in here, otherwise Evangeline and Bones would have struck. And I told you about my cousin Lu from Vegas back then, didn't I? May I introduce…my cousin Lu from Vegas…yes, Lu is not human. He's a warlock. And yes, I invited him here to think about this magical barrier for Cassy's powers and to talk to him. But that won't work if you just shoot him. He's my biological cousin and I hope we've settled the issue now!", she said with a sigh. "Lu? This is Dean… My fiancé and father of my daughter. He's not usually that pissed off. But with Cassy, he sees red… And he has an aversion to strange men in suits…"

[cjlouwho]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @talktonytome ❤️

How many works do you have an AO3? 33

What's your total AO3 word count? 145,077

What fandoms do you write for? 9-1-1 for now. Used to write for Glee and NCIS a lot under another name. Wrote some rpf for a specific youtube pair for a while too, then I started to feel weird about it so I stopped lol

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Husbands, The Problem, Conversations and Coming Out, You Provide Strength, Uncle Eddie

Do you respond to comments? A lot of the time, yes. Sometimes I get insecure about responding though, so I don't.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I guess The Gables, which is part 3 in a 4 part series.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably The Ultimate Treasure Hunt

Do you get hate on fics? I have a few times

Do you write smut? Rarely

Do you write crossovers? Wrote a Glee/NCIS crossover once 😂 haven't done it since

Have you ever had a fic stolen? yes, way back in the day

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes. Spanish a few times, and Russian

Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, I am too controlling, and also unable to give criticism so I would both hate the fact someone was writing parts of the story and also would be unable to say anything negative about it at all.

What's your all time favorite ship? Back in the day, it was Klaine, until that was ruined for me. Loved McAbby when I was younger too. I think BuckTommy holds the most special place in my heart though.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Help From My Friends was going to be a series of moments where Buck got help navigating his relationship with Tommy. I got so distracted after the first one that I simply never revisited it again. I plan on changing the summary and having it be a oneshot.

What are your writing strengths? dialogue, I think. I can hear/see "scenes" play out vividly in my head and I think that helps me write dialogue realistically.

What are your writing weaknesses? describing things without dialogue. I get so unbelievably bored writing when there's no dialogue. Also, smut.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think I've done one little line from Eddie in Tommy and Eddie's Wild Adventure, but that's about all I'll do.

First fandom you wrote for? Oh... oh God. It was Suite Life of Zack and Cody. 🫣

Favorite fics you've written? ohhhh, I love No Man Left Behind, You're a Piece of My Soul I Can't Let Go, What It's For, Old Man was a fun one that no one ever really read 😂 , and of course I have to end with Tommy Begins because it's my baby.

[landwriter]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @tiltingheartand <3 thank you!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

11!

What's your total Ao3 word count?

129,874. Brevity evidently is not my strong suit! Which is also why the rest of this is under a cut.

What fandoms do you write for?

The Sandman! I also just watched Dead Boy Detectives and think I might write a couple little things for it too.

Top five fics by kudos:

Saint Morpheus (11,882 words) - My first fic! Saints and worship

The Death of Translation (10,968 words) - the Language fic

Oaths (60,443 words) - Tam Lin AU and my precious baby. I'm so proud of this one. It's got so much of me in it. Def the first fic I would consider a full send

Border Country (6,100 words) - Clothing, the inherent body horror of being alive, and self-denial. Have always meant to do a sequel for this and may do for S2

Black Shore (3,962 words) - Monsterfucking :-) Weird little beast of a story that came out of nowhere fully formed

All Sandman, all Dream & Hob, haha. Doubt that will change with new fics unless I find a more popular pairing in a more popular fandom to write for

Do you respond to comments?

I do! I love discussing characters and theeeeemes and sharing enthusiasm with people. I love hearing what I've inflicted and I'll thank you for telling me <3 Once I started getting busier I found it a lot harder to keep up, but I treasure all my comments so if you suddenly get a reply like, a year later, you know why!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's for sure The Many Lives of Hob Gadling. Everything else I've written except Border Country has ended, like, tooth-rottingly kind and optimistic and love-filled. But lbr Dream is a man of tragedies. There'll be more

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's such a personal thing, but Oaths has the happy ending I would consider most wonderful sort of happiness. It's not the fluffiest or most fairy-tale (having written just that also), but this specific flavour of joy and peace in terms of experiencing the beauty of the world around you and being just shot full of love. The happiness of growing things and sunrises. Or Just Like Love. From the Corinthian's perspective. He's so happy with the state of things at the end.

Do you get hate on fics?

Only the once! Fortunately everybody else who has hated a fic of mine has been able to find the back button and gone off to read something else or grouse about it in private, which is the correct way of things. There's no reason, ever, to tell an author you disliked their story. They will not be grateful for it no matter how certain and correct you feel in your criticisms. Nobody wins! Sorry! Go tell a friend instead.

Do you write smut?

You betcha I do! The first time I wrote it for Saint Morpheus it felt so unnatural and I was just making a :| face the whole time but now sex scenes are among my favourite things to write. I feel like I've really cum come into my own with them more than any other kind of scene.

Craziest crossover:

I've never done a crossover! I love reading them though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so! I mean, not great, etc., but personally I also deeply don't care. I imagine having a job where what I am actually creating & selling for money gets stolen often sort of skews my perspective on my fic getting stolen. It's not a commercial product. It isn't paying my mortgage. I give these words for free and with love. If they end up places I never put them, so be it! Such is the internet.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! 【授權翻譯】翻譯之死 The Death of Translation by Ethiseth. Legitimately one of the highest honours I think a fanfic writer can ever receive <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No!

All time favourite ship?

Hob / the world :-)

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My very first WIP for Sandman! I started writing it then joined tumblr the next day, saw some of @messmonte's art, and was off writing Saint Morpheus in short order. Sorry 1989 canon divergence fic! Maybe one day.

What are your writing strengths?

Five dollar words. Long sentences. Big sweeping feelings. Instilling my personal values, i.e. love is real, you are surrounded by beauty at every turn, you deserve the things you want, monologues are a normal and practical form of communication, etc.

What are your writing weaknesses?

God, actually finishing and sharing things, I think. I haven't had enough time in my life lately and it kills me! But it's also such a me problem because I love to worry at and chew on WIPs forever. Writing fast would be so cool. Pew pew pew! New fics left and right. You guys would be buried in them. Man, I wish.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Can run gimmicky but also I love multiple languages in one conversation as subtext so much - I'm torn. Same as accents in that I suspect it's most cases better to just note it in the speech tags, unless you're willing to go through the trouble of inline/hovertext translations, and then at that point it's a bit If You Give A Mouse A Cookie for me where I'll want translator's notes too, maybe some metatextual payoff, etc.

First fandom you wrote in?

Technically FMA, but that's a story for another day hahaha. Sandman, really.

Favourite fic you've written?

Oh golly. Oaths. I did so much for the first time with that story. But it's hard to choose, which is such a nice problem to have. I think it's easy when you've never written fic before for each new thing to mean something different to you!

No-presh tagging @wordsinhaled, @moorishflower, @tj-dragonblade and anyone who wants to do this too - just tag me so I can be nosy <3

[cinematicnomad]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @zainclaw and @andavs 🥰🥰🥰

How many works do you have on ao3? 39 apparently

What's your total ao3 word count? 288,797 words

What fandoms do you write for? actively right now? nothing really lol. haven't published a fic since 2022. but i guess you could say 911 and teen wolf given some random WIPs in my drafts. also i randomly started jotting down some notes for a stranger things steve/eddie fic that will probably never be written.

Top five fics by kudos 01. take my hand (take my everything) (buddie) 02. taste your beating heart (sterek) 03. so show me (family) (buddie) 04. you never said a word (sterek) 05. be careful (my darling) (buddie)

Do you respond to comments? yes, always! i usually try to wait until i have a dozen or so, which can sometimes take a bit of time, but eventually i respond to it all.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i have a sterek drabble called and i fell heavy into your arms (688 words) that is basically derek seeing stiles die and then immediately letting himself be killed

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of them?? not sure i can think of one specifically that was happier than the others.

Do you get hate on fics? ah, i almost said no, but then i remembered that for my fic taste your beating heart every now and then i'll get scott fans who think the fic should be tagged as "bad friend scott mccall" even though he's NOT a bad friend in the fic, it's just a nuanced view of their changing relationship. like, that fic is about 3 main things that include: stiles and derek getting together, solving the main mystery, and stiles and scott's friendship maturing to a place where they can love each other and still be brothers without thinking they need to be in the same pack!! like it's FUNDAMENTAL.

anyway, i had one reader who i think quit the fic halfway through bc i gently pushed back on their rage comment insulting derek and stiles for a fight that takes place with scott. the reader left an angry reply to my response, which they then deleted before i could even look at it, and then never commented on the fic again even though they'd been commenting on the fic since chapter 1.

Do you write smut? no not really. i don't know why i'm so bad at writing sex, but i am very bad at writing sex.

Craziest crossover i have no crossovers

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of??

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes, someone translated my mike/harvey suits fic trembling hands into russian all the way back in 2013.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? i have not!

All time favourite ship? to write? to read? no idea, so i refuse to answer.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i've got a sterek idea that's an AU of the netflix show virgin river. i had a pretty brief outline that i sketched out some, and even started writing a little, but it never went anywhere. i did create an AU gifset for it and every now and then when people start reblogging it i think about going back to try and write it.

What are your writing strengths? i think i'm good at realistic dialogue? but i don't know. i haven't written in a while so i'm not feeling super great about my writing at this very moment.

What are your writing weaknesses? i suck at setting a scene. and conveying a complex emotion. also i feel like i get v bogged down in what characters are physically doing or whatever and i try to describe it and it just detracts from the story over all. yikes ok i'm feeling worse about my writing than i thought lol

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? if the context is there to understand what's being said, great. otherwise, just adding context to the dialogue tag (he said in french, in german, etc) works. personally i'd prefer not to scroll back and forth between the fic and the notes to figure out what's being said.

First fandom you wrote in? harry potter. on the site quizilla back in the year of our lord 2005 lol. i started off writing like. a harry/oc fic lol where the protagonist was the classic american exchange student who had her own prophecy. truly mortifying!!

Favorite fic you've written? i have a soft spot for taste your beating heart bc it was the first long fic i ever completed and it took me 7 fucking years to write it. but i think my favorite is actually finding our way (back home) which i really think captured everything i was aiming to do. will i ever be able to do that again??? who fucking knows. probably not. on the more self-indulgent side, i really really love the margaret buckley character study i wrote called so far from who i was.

tagging!! @woodchoc-magnum, @crazyassmurdererwall, @tattooedsiren, @machtaholic, @catdadeddie, @tripleaxeldiaz, @valleydean, @thisapplepielife, and anyone else who wants to do this.

[krylng]

Practicing French

Pairing: Turn Washington’s Spies Lafayette x fem!reader

18th century (1700’s)

TW: Duolingo French, lots of French (pull up google translate now if you don’t know much french 😭)

Summary: Your “friend” Lafayette is teaching you some French. Little did you know, he was telling you things you didn’t know in French.

Word count: like 100-200–short n sweet <3

——————————————

“Je suis.” His accent was thick and serious.

You bit your lip as you thought and translated in your head. “Uh…I am?”

“Very good.” The corners of his mouth turned upwards. “Euh…Delighed in French.”

“Enchantè?” You sat criss crossed on the carpeted floor.

“Hmm…let me see you write it down.” He smiled and handed you a quill.

So then you wrote down, enchantè.

“Close, mon amour. Ils enchanté.” He wrote down enchanté and you immediately felt stupid. “Would you like to keep going?”

“Oui.” He smiled as the words flowed from your mouth perfectly.

“Je m’appelle.” He swallowed.

“My name is.” You said confidently. That was one of the only words you knew instantly.

“Great. Let’s move on.”

“Je t'aime.” He smiled sweetly as he looked into your eyes.

“Laf, you never taught me any of this, how am I supposed to figure that out-“ You rolled your eyes.

“Never mind, let’s move on. Je suis ça va trés bien. Et toi?” The words danced from his mouth, accent thick, with the perfect pronunciation.

“That’s a long sentence, I’m not sure I can do that.” You sighed, mad at your stupid self.

He took your soft hand in his. “Write it down if you need to, chérie.” He encouraged. You wrote down slowly, processing and translating each word at your own speed.

You wrote down the last word, and confidently said, “I am doing very well. And you?”

A smile spread across his handsome face. “Very good, chérie.”

“Or trés bien.” You smiled.

“Ou trés bien.” He repeated, slightly changing the sentence to ‘Ou’ instead of ‘or.’

You smacked your forehead. “How did I not think of that-“

“Chérie, tu as l'air si majestueuse et belle. Je pourrais t'embrasser tout de suite.” He smiled slyly.

”Lafayette…” She tilted her head to meet his gaze. His eyes widened as the thought of you knowing what he said crossed his mind.

“You know?”

“I do…only the first part. My mother used to say that to me in French.” You blushed. “She wasn’t fluent though.”

“Might as well repeat the whole thing in English.” He sighed. “The last sentence—I could kiss you right away.”

Desire and love filled your heart as you wrapped your arms around his neck and he pulled you closer and gently kissed you.

You hum against each other’s lips, his hand cupping your cheek and the other gripping you waist. He pulls away and smiles.

“Ma chérie, I’ve been waiting to do that for the longest time now.”

You leap towards him, wrapping your arms around his underarms and touching his back with your hands. He held your shoulder as he toppled over. After the small fall, he tightened the grip on you, and traced hearts on your back with his finger.

“Je t'aime.”

“I love you?” You translated. You didn’t know exactly, but you thought he was say something like that.

“I love you too.” She giggled and he held her tighter, not getting up from the floor.

[polaris-the-north-star]

go rush episode 62 sevens episode 93 spoilers

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

recap of yuuga v otes. they go to goha city and the person was schrodinger nekoyama(yes that half-split weirdo chemistry guy) and brings them to the garden of providence after they talk abt time paradoxes and how sevENS WAS THE BAD END TIMELINE WHERE THE RYUGUS WON-

anyway. they find out the truth of the ohdo lineage or some shit and yuuga reveals his backstory, from his duel against otes, to getting freaked out by dinois' earmuffs to naming his suit an acronym that spells out OTES for some reason....

and uh the stream died so i had to switch to another soooo

catyuuga ends up with luke, the past ohdos call luke the great king of terror because he resembles him, and tiger's there ig. they arrive the day before and not the day that the shuttle enters the atmosphere tho and uh we don't get to see who's in the ship.

they meet that one big ko girl and yuuhi's alien thing acts up. she goes on abt how the others have decent lives or something idk

luke romin and gakuto pass catyuuga on the bike, and luke realises that it's yuuga(?) and tHEY FUCKING RECREATE THE ROAD SCENE FROM 92 *sobs* OH MY GOD GO RUSH WTF ARE YOU COOKING

the preview has no fucking thing to do with this and is the average yuudias v phaser we were expecting BUT

THE CARD REVIEW IS DRAGIAS

side notes i gathered from the people who payed attention more than i did and the people that speak japanese after i wrote all that:

the otes actonym translates to 'easily ignore ladybugs forever' (aura and the dub how will you handle that)

yuuhi's hair reacted differently to each ko girl

go rush is technically the past of sevens, considering if phaser won(which he won't because yuudias is obligated to beat him as the protagonist)

uts is gone i thiiink????

idk if it counts that yuuga is "otes" (putting emphasis on the quotations) because of the acronym or if it was just named after him. also the suit was only there to prevent the ladybug phobia

apparently luke said "when i see a cat eating udon, yuuga's favorite food, i think of my missing friend" and "cats like udon too huh... just like that guy"

train is fuckin tiny compared to kraken

also kraken gets an equip

yuuga met zwijo directly after he beat otes

we still don't know what happened to otes arrgh

luke has a sevensgias statue. he edited it from his old dragias statue

ALSO A VERY IMPORTANT THING is that since rush duels came back with the ship and the id didn't change yet it confirms that the person in the ship was yuuga. fusion theory still got merit tho

^add-on to this is that catyuuga didn't trigger it is sus :v maybe it's just because he's a cat but still

they namedropped nail

1/4 of the entire ygo timeline is still being exploded by yuuga and otes don't think it was fixed

if this was just some episode without numerical meaning then wtf is 77 gonna be like

[fivelakesinwriting]

Treasure Hunt (JJ Maybank)

Author's Notes: JJ gets The Chateau to himself for a night.. I haven't committed to writing a full JJ smut yet. Perhaps one day. The inspiration for this fic came from a line from a Drew story I wrote. Let me know what you think if you have a moment! xoxo

Warnings: Sexual innuendos - sexual references (Little smutty) , Swearing.

Requested? Nope. But requests for OBX are open!

*My work is not to be transferred, copied, translated or reposted to any other sites without my permission. Please see my masterlist for all other works and warnings. Thank you! xoxo

It wasn't very often that JJ Maybank had any one space to himself. He felt like an unwanted guest in his own home, the place he grew up in. And he knew one day he would overstay his welcome at John B's house. For now, his presence was welcome at the Routledge house so he stayed as much as he could.

Tonight was one of the nights JJ had The Chateau all to himself. He had told himself he would be, a respectful young man and not invite his girlfriend over for full naked reign over the house. He told himself he had enough self control to sit on the couch and watch whatever movies were on television for one night. Or that he could find some old DVDs, or even a VHS kicking around.

"What room do you wanna do it in first?" JJ smirked as he pulled his cutoff tank top over his head and tossed it carelessly across the living room.

Within ten minutes of being alone, JJ wrestled with the idea of a night by himself, then quickly ran down the street to her house and told her come over.

"Couch. We never get to do it on the couch." She smiled as she pressed her hands to his chest then backed him towards the threadbare couch that rested against the back window of the house.

The back of JJ's legs hit the couch and he let his body fall with an umph down. He grabbed her hips and pulled her to straddle his lap, his fingertips brushing over the skin beneath her shirt as he kept her close.

JJ made a show of pulling off her shirt. Slowly, and with great care, he pulled off the loose tank top and tossed it elsewhere in the house. He smiled at the soft lace bralette, jade green, beneath her shirt, a sweet change of pace from the bathing suit tops he usually saw her in. Not that he minded.

"Cute." JJ stated flatly as he tugged at the strap of her bralette with his index finger.

"Thanks. You can borrow it, if you want." She laughed as she threaded her fingers in his messy blonde hair.

"Next kegger, I might." JJ chucked as he laid both his palms flat on her back to pull her flush against him then silenced her with a kiss. He reached behind her to skillfully unhook her bra, pulling the straps down her arms then throwing the soft material somewhere within The Chateau.

She breathed a sigh of relief against his lips as she pulled at his hair, her thighs pressed tightly against his while her hips swiveled down on his lap. JJ grinned into the kiss as he used his body strength to flip her back to the couch and lay between her thighs.

"You have too many buttons on your shorts." JJ grumbled as his thick fingers fumbled with the gold buttons that lined her high-waisted shorts.

She laughed as she reached between them to help him with her shorts. She usually chose fashion over function, but if she was going to be with JJ, she might have to rethink that choice. She thumbed open the delicate buttons of her shorts and lifted her hips to let him know he was able to take the dark blue material off of her.

JJ grinned while he slid her shorts down her legs then tossed them over his shoulder. He knelt between her legs on the couch to pull his own shirt over his shoulders to throw it somewhere else in the living room. He laid back down on top of her, one arm holding his weight on the arm of the couch in front of him while the other kept a firm grip on her thigh.

"JJ.." She groaned as she wriggled beneath him, her hands on his bare shoulders.

"Yeah?" JJ asked as he kissed along her neck towards her shoulder.

"There's a spring from the couch cushion digging into my back. I'm rethinking our decision to have sex here." She replied as she placed her hands on his neck to prompt his head up from the crook of her neck to make him look at her.

"My room?" JJ asked as he looked down at her with swollen lips, his hair even messier from her hands tugging at it.

"Please." She nodded as she began to sit up again, a soft push of his chest.

JJ sat up, climbing off the couch and with a tug of her hand easily pulled her up with him. JJ bent at the waist to put her over his should, a smile on his face as she squealed when he placed a soft smack on her backside.

JJ carried her the few short steps through the house, down the hallway and into the spare room that he called his own. He carefully laid her down on the bed and smiled down at her while she looked up at him with just her jade green thong on. She reached for him, her fingers curling in the air, while her legs fell open to accommodate his frame.

JJ dropped his body down onto the body between her thigh, his weight held on his forearms above her. He smiled as he pressed his forehead to hers then playfully nudged her nose with his.

"Ready for me?" JJ asked as he knelt on the bed and unzipped his shorts.

"Yes, JJ." She smiled as she reached forward to run her fingers along the plains of his abs.

..

Even in the early morning the sun was hot through the spare room that JJ Maybank called home. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, careful not to wake the girl who still slept soundly on his chest.

"What time is it, JJ?" She asked softly against his pecs.

"It's like...9am or something." JJ muttered as he reached for the digital clock on the bedside table and turned it towards him.

"It's 9am? Shit. JJ, my parents have been awake for an hour now. I have to go home." She gasped as she shot up in bed and looked around the room to find her clothes.

JJ reached at the headboard behind him and pulled her jade green thong down to hand them to her.

"Let the treasure hunt begin." He smirked as he climbed out of bed and pulled on his shorts from the day before.

She kicked her legs up, pulled her underwear back on, then rolled out of bed and ran through the halls with JJ to find her clothes that had been carelessly tossed throughout the house.

"Damnit, JJ!" She yelled as she stood in the kitchen topless, hands on her hips.

"It's not my fault." JJ laughed as he looked through the living room. He released a call of triumph as he found her shirt and held it high in the air. He tossed it over his shoulder and continued his hunt for the rest of her clothes.

"Pants, JJ! I need pants." She muttered as she walked quickly into the living room with him.

"Not from where I'm standing." JJ smirked as he tipped his head and watched as she bent over to sort through a mess of blankets and clothes.

"Focus, Maybank!" She replied with a snap of her fingers.

JJ breathed out a laugh then continued his search for her bra and her shorts. He turned around and looked at the other side of the living room and squeezed his fist with pride as he found her shorts as he found her bra slung over the recliner chair.

"Babe! Shirt and bra." JJ called as he tossed her top and bra over to her, a weak tug in his heart as he watched her get dressed again.

"Thank you. Now where are my damn shorts?" She breathed out as she smoothed her shirt over her stomach.

"I didn't think I threw them that far." JJ replied with a scratch of the back of his neck while he tried to avoid looking at her legs.

As the two were about to come with another game plan, the front door of The Chateau opened and John B walked in. He stopped in his tracks, eyebrows raised as he saw his best friend shirtless in the living with a girl in just her underwear.

"Morning, JJ..." John B trailed as he slowly closed the front door and shrugged out of his backpack then placed it on the floor.

"Hey, John B. Morning." JJ replied, a slight panic in his voice as he shuffled slightly to stand in front of his girlfriend to cover her close to naked bottom half.

"There's a pair of shorts over the T.V. Is that what you're looking for?" John B smirked before he made his way towards the kitchen.

JJ turned around and looked down at her with an apologetic look. She gave his chest a playful shove before she made her way to the television and grabbed her shorts then pulled them up.

"Oh, by the way! Her parents are all over the block looking for her. So you might want to wrap this up." John B yelled from the kitchen.

JJ reached for her hand as she looked at him with panicked eyes then pulled her out of The Chateau and down the dirt path for one last kiss goodbye.

Please let me know what you think if you have a moment! Thank you for your support xoxo

Requests for OBX are open!

[dropthedemiurge]

15 people, 15 questions

Got tagged by @xagan (you're amazing and I already knew it but what is Lima Lama?!) and @istilldontunderstand (all hail being jack of all interests and useless to capitalism! very relatable) and @non-binarypal7 (didn't know you eanted to do environmental activism! That's so cool)

1. Are you named after anyone?

No, I have one of the most typical names in my country. But it's good that every person has several nicknames here, I have more than 15! 😆 And I love my name because it's unisex.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't usually cry in life beside RSD triggers so I allow myself to feel things while watching movies and reading fanfics... Probably shed a tear recently during 5th episode of Twins (hello to exhausted, overworked and underappreciated Sprite)). Honestly, some good angst fics do make me cry, I love angst fics and catharsis.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I'm not good with them until they are the age where I can teach them many hella cool nerdy things. But I'm learning now with my sister's toddler, I'm out of my comfort zone but she says he likes me already so I win xD I can definitely see myself as a good mentor to kids/teens later but parent? Probably a bad one.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I have ADHD so I have tried swimming, martial arts, ballet and gymnastics. I was kicked out of 2 of those xD But I do love table tennis, like volleyball and I was acrobatic cheerleader for a few years!

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah, I love using it in a very playful manner among friends - which is not a typical thing, as I know. On the other hand, when I get angry or someone hurts/attacks me, I actually turn to a very cold, official and diligently spelled out style. Hurt my feelings? I am writing you a letter aka A.Burr :D

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their vibes! I might not remember how they look or what's their name later, but I'm definitely noticing and reading you through vibes. Same with discords, most likely.

7. What’s your eye color?

Grayish blue. I get told that I have really nice eyes (even strangers in foreign countries keep telling me that for some reason unprompted). My friends, tho, say I have drugged eyes with large pupils so i guess, that's compliment too xD

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Horror movies are porn substitution, and I'm ace so the answer is obvious. Deserved happy ends are good!

9. Any talents?

Hmmm being always curious and hence, learning many new awesome skills? It's something I always encourage others to do, too.

10. Where were you born?

Russia unfortunately or fortunately? i'm still figuring it out

11. What are your hobbies

Creating media+tech things (ranging from IG filters to making my own mini games), translating (Russian, English, Korean and currently learning Thai), drawing fanarts (one day hopefully webtoons...), writing fics (currently learning nice storytelling in English)

12. Do you have any pets?

Yes, a very fluffy black-white Cheshire Cat. He's as mischievous as you can guess ^W^

13. How tall are you?

1.65

14. Favorite subject in school?

Informatics, Arts, sitting in school library and reading everything after classes

15. Dream job?

I have a bucket list of all skills/professions that I want to try, and I've currently crossed off most of them, except for gamedev. I ever wrote articles about K-pop and Thai BLs professionally!

I keep changing jobs every year oops but I still manage to be not bad at them. I think I can suit some place that needs brainstorming, making art and coding together! But it's a career that I'm trying to kickstart now Тт For now I'm a bit too busy with returning to Korea...Hopefully, one day I'll stop getting bored of jobs ^^'

That was fun, thank you guys! Not tagging anyone to save from pressure but you can tag me to read through yours or tag yourself with my blessing :]

[giuliamarcovaldo]

You’re Okay, Luca

i wanted to read autistic!luca fics but i couldn’t find any. so what did i do? i wrote my own. this is my first time posting fanfic here! so enjoy this little autistic!luca story (with some luberto fluff and angst)

TW: mentions of violent stimming + meltdown

“I was about to have a meltdown and there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

Summary: Luca gets over stimulated at a fancy dinner party, and Alberto witnesses Luca having a meltdown for the first time.

I want to say they’re 16-17 in this??

100% sfw because they are children

word count: 1580

also please don’t kill me if the Italian words are wrong i used google translate sksjsjaksk

(also note: i am autistic)

——————

Alberto knew I was autistic. I told him about a year ago, when we first became a thing.

“This doesn’t change anything, Luca. There’s nothing in this world that could make me stop loving you.” His words rang through my head as I felt the onset of a meltdown.

Giulia had invited Alberto and me to a gathering with some of her extended family in Genoa. They were all very nice, and Alberto even made friends with some of them (which was no surprise). That wasn’t the cause of my meltdown. It was the atmosphere. It was a bright, loud fancy dining hall, nearly at full capacity. I was wearing a suit and tie that Giulia’s cousin had let me borrow. The collar was scratching my skin in the worst possible way but I didn’t want to be rude so I sucked it up. That was my first mistake. Between the bright lights, loud conversations and music, jam-packed room, a plethora of smells from foods that I had never heard of, and the suit collar, I could feel it coming.

It was sensory overload at first. I tried stimming subtly. I wasn’t out as autistic to everyone yet and the thought of them judging me for stimming made my anxiety worse. But I had to do something. Squeezing my hands into fists under the table. Chewing the inside of my cheek. Running my fingers through my hair repeatedly. It wasn’t enough, but somehow too much at the same time.

I was getting more and more fidgety. It was becoming harder to mask. Would it be rude to just get up and leave without saying anything? Probably. I couldn’t move anyway. I was frozen in my seat. My facial expressions were almost completely gone at this point, along with my ability to speak. Alberto noticed that something was wrong.

“Luca, hey, are you alright?” I couldn’t get the words “no, I feel like I’m about to explode into a violently stimming disaster if I don’t get out of here right now but I can’t move and I feel helpless” out of my mouth so I just nodded and gave him a small, unconvincing smile. I didn’t want to burden Alberto while he was having such a good time. I knew it was ridiculous to think that Alberto would mind helping me calm down, but my brain wouldn’t quit telling me otherwise.

Silenzio, Bruno. Silenzio, Bruno. Silenzio, Bruno. It wasn’t working.

Alberto didn’t look convinced. He knew me too well. Ever since I told him I was autistic he tried his best to make sure I was as comfortable as possible in every situation. I loved him for that but I hated myself for it. It’s like I always need to be babysat and I hate it. I know that he loves me so why do I feel so guilty?

My intrusive thoughts running through my mind was the final straw. It was all too much. Alberto’s face looked more concerned as each moment passed. He was about to witness me having a meltdown for the first time since we met. I didn’t know if I was ready for that type of vulnerability but I didn’t really have a choice. I was about to have a meltdown and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

“Luca, we’re going to go some place quiet, okay?”

I shook my head no. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. It had gone from sensory overload, to shutdown, to a full-blown meltdown. I couldn’t hold back my stims anymore. I started hitting my head with my fists and pulling at my hair. Tears rolled down my face uncontrollably, exposing my green-blue scales.

Perfecto.

I didn’t know which was worse: violently and uncontrollably stimming in front of everyone, or unintentionally outing myself as a sea monster. They might have been tied. Most of the guests were too into their conversations to notice the autistic sea monster having a meltdown next to them but the few who did notice started to pass glances and whisper amongst themselves.

“Luca, Luca, you’re okay. I know you don’t like anyone touching you when you’re in sensory overload but I’m going to help you get out of here, okay?”

Alberto helped me get up from the table and escorted me out of the dining room, using his suit jacket to cover my face so no one would see my scales, but being careful to not let it touch my face. We made our way to a long hallway off of the lobby. Alberto sat me down on the ground and flipped the hallway light switch off. Light from the lobby trailed into the hallway but didn’t reach us at the end.

I was out of the environment but still at the height of my meltdown. Tears were still coming from my eyes. I continued to tug at my hair while I rocked back and forth. I couldn’t vocalize anything except for non verbal sounds. I felt so helpless, so defeated, so ashamed.

Alberto tried to redirect my violent stims, to no avail. I’m sure he felt helpless too. I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. And I felt bad that Alberto couldn’t help that.

Alberto sat a few feet away from me, probably resisting the urge to pull me into a hug.

“I’ll just sit with you, okay? You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.” Alberto reassured me that he wasn’t leaving. My perception of time isn’t that great but it felt like at least 45 minutes before I started to come down. Still there, like he said he would be, Alberto let out a deep shaky breath. I hadn’t looked at him the entire time because I was too embarrassed that he had to see all of that. When I finally did glance up at him, I notice two trails of purple scales down his cheeks. Knowing he had cried hurt me even more.

“Are you feeling better?” I was still nonverbal and rocking back and forth but my violent stims had passed. I opened my left hand flat and tapped it with my right index finger.

“Oh! Right,” Alberto pulled a pen and pad from my jacket, which he had helped me remove from my body earlier in my meltdown. He slid them across the floor and anxiously waited for me to write my response.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

Alberto’s face changed as he read what I had written. His green eyes looked sadder when they met my gaze. I could feel my tears starting to well up again.

“No, no, Luca, mio amore, please don’t feel bad. I should have checked on you earlier than I did. I got a little lost with everything going on in there. I’m sorry that I didn’t check up on you sooner...” Alberto was very protective of me. I know that the thought of me suffering while he didn’t know was absolutely crushing him. But it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t mine. It wasn’t anybody’s. I was starting to think rationally again. I shouldn’t feel sorry for having meltdowns, for being autistic, for being myself. But I should have spoken up when I started to feel uncomfortable. That’s something I need to work on, and I know I can do it as long as Alberto is with me. And he always will be.

“Is it alright if I touch you?” I know Alberto was dying to physically comfort me. It was his love language. I nodded my head yes and gave him a warm smile. He crawled over to me and I opened my arms to embrace him. I listened to his steadying heartbeat while he whispered affirmations to me and gently rubbed my back. Warm tears started to fall down my face.

God, I love this boy so much.

“Bontà, there you two are! I’ve been looking everywhere! What happ-“ Giulia’s voice got closer as she made her way down the hallway.

“Oh no, Luca... mi dispiace... I didn’t know you were- when did- where-“ She crouches down next to the two of us. Giulia, also being autistic, could tell I was in post-meltdown. She slaps her palm to her forehead and curses herself.

“Of course! I should have been more aware about- why didn’t I- are you okay?”

“Giulia,” Alberto places his hand on her shoulder. “he’s alright. Nothing that happened is your fault. Or... mine for that matter. We’re alright.”

“Can I get you guys something? A glass of water?”

I nod my head yes.

“Water sounds good, grazie, little sis.” Alberto and Giulia exchange smiles, then she leaves down the hallway, her red curls bouncing behind her.

“Luca,” Alberto cups my cheek in his hand, wiping away my tears with his thumb.

“I love you, okay? I love you so, so much. Nothing is going to change that. Please, don’t ever feel like an inconvenience. It hurts to see you like that, and I know it hurts to experience it. Please, tell me next time, Okay?”

I didn’t even need to tell him that I felt like an inconvenience. He just knew. Like I said, he knows me too well. I nod my head, and pull him back into an embrace. Alberto combs his fingers through my hair, getting rid of the tangles that I made in it earlier.

I feel lighter. I feel safe to be myself. I feel more loved than ever.

——————

that’s it! my first fic! a lot of this is me projecting onto luca (sksakdjsjjsk) but i had a lot of fun writing it! feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism. likes and reblogs appreciated!! :)

[wayward-mikaelson]

Something Just Like This (AU!Daniel Brühl x F! Reader)

Word Count: 9219

About: Your father takes on a business partner, who captures your eye and makes your Ex jealous.

Pairing: AU!Daniel Brühl x F! Reader

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Jealous Ex, Angst, Some Sexual Content (Touching and boob grabbing), Implied Smut, Daniel talking in both German and Spanish,

MINORS DO NO INTERACT

A/N: I wrote this for my dear friend @saturdaynightzemo. I got too carried away with the word count but it's okay. There also maybe a part two later on down the road.

**This work is written for the 18 and up crowd so please read at your own discretion. This work is also crossed posted on other sites under the same title. Please do not copy and paste my work anywhere, sharing the links and re-blogs are perfectly fine. Linktree to my other social media sites are in the link in my bio. Feedback is welcome!**

German/Spanish Pet Name Translation

*Liebling--Darling

*Wonderschönen--Beautiful

*Querida--Darling

*meine liebe--my love

*scheiße--Fuck

*Mi Querida--My Darling

French/Italian Translations

*Un Peu des deux--A little bit of both

*Il mio italiano è un po' arrugginito--My Italian is a bit rusty

Forever Tag: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Zemo/Daniel Tags: @saturdaynightzemo @dailybruhlfic

Masterlist

It wasn’t the sound of the car that made you turn your head. Oh no, you were practically immune to those sounds, living at the tracks your whole life. It wasn’t even the color of it either. You’ve seen enough cherry red cars to last you a lifetime. It was a nice color and the shine of the wax really shined, but after a while the color just sort of faded into life itself. Just like many other things at the track.

It was the driver that stepped out of the polished car that caused you to stop in your tracks. He wore a grey suit that shined bright in the sunlight. His hair wasn’t as long as all the other drivers you knew that passed through here. It was brushed back, away from his eyes. Oh and those eyes, they looked over his entire surroundings. His beard was just an added bonus. You had a thing for bearded men.

He was new and every pair of eyes, including yours, watched as he walked into the building. No doubt to your fathers office. This man looked like he meant business. Before the mysterious man walked into the building, he turned and looked around again, this time those eyes landed on you for a brief moment. Making you instantly drop your gaze to the bucket of water at your feet.

“Who is that?” you turned to see Finn, your ex, was standing next to you.

Finn and you dated for a few years in and out of high school. It wasn’t until you were almost done with college that you saw that the two of you drifted. For you it was the perfect time to figure out who you were and who you wanted to be. Finn, of course, agreed to the split. Both of you thought it would be temporary, but you soon learned that you no longer loved Finn like that. That was three years ago.

“I have no idea,” You shook your head and went back to your job. Which was washing the cars for today’s photoshoot. “I’m sure I’ll find out later at dinner.”

“Speaking of dinner,” Finn grabbed a sponge and started to help you. “Your mother invited me. I said yes cause she said she was making her famous lasagna. I hope you don’t mind.”

You shook your head. You didn’t mind it but you knew that your mother was trying to set you and Finn up again. Your mother loved Finn and missed having him over more when the two of you were together. She just couldn’t get it through her head that you and Finn were over and nothing could change that.

“No, I don’t mind at all,” you straightened up and turned to Finn. Finn’s ginger hair hung around his face. “You know you never have to ask me if it’s okay. You’re practically family.”

When Finn was thirteen, his father died of cancer. It was a really hard time for both Finn’s family and your father. Your father was really good friends with Finn's father and on his deathbed, your father promised to look after Finn as if he were his own son.

Finn stood up and by the look on his face, you knew what he was going to say. “I can be more than practically family, Y/N.”

You turned away from him. “Finn, we’ve talked about this many times. I don’t feel that way anymore about you. Please stop. We’re better as friends.” You turned to him to see him nodding. Finn dumped the sponge back into the water and left. Over the last few years, Finn had tried desperately to get you back. He has never dated anyone else and you don’t want to know how he even relieved himself. If he did.

You had one other sexual partner after Finn and that was a weekend fling in Spain. You never called the poor guy when you got home. But God was the sex good. Like out of a work of fiction good. The things that man had done to your body, things that Finn would never do or didn’t know how to do.

You went about the rest of your day like normal. All the cars got washed in time for the photoshoot, which also went smoothly. You had lunch with Bea, one of the girls in the back offices. She talked of nothing but the stranger that was still at the track. Apparently your father was showing him around the place.

“And the accent,” Bea’s eyes rolled to the back of her head. “It’s to die for. Makes me tingle each time I think of it.”

You chuckled a bit, “I’ll take your word for it.” The way Bea talked about this man, you wanted to meet him and hear the accent. “Is your neighbor still single?”

Bea’s head perked up faster than anything. “Yeah, she’s still single. Why? No wait, let me guess Finn?” You nodded. “I’ll see what kind of magic I can cook up. He really needs to learn that it’s over.” And you couldn’t agree more.

By the time closing came around, you took care of tidying up the track and making sure bags were tied up for morning trash pick up. You found it easier for the morning cleaning crew to just grab the bags. Just as you were tying up the last bag, Finn approached you.

“I’m about to take off,” he leaned up against the side by side you drove around the track. “Would you like a ride back to your house?”

“Um,” you looked over your shoulder and saw that the mysterious man's car was still here. He had been here all day and part of you wanted to know why. “Let me check in with Dad and see what his plan is. He’s been with that man all day.”

You made your way to your fathers office and one little peak said that he was in the middle of a conversation. You were about to turn until your father saw you and waved you in. You waltzed in and noticed the man on your fathers leather office sofa. You froze in place as this man’s eyes looked you over. Not quickly like any normal person, oh no. This man’s eyes slowly took in your whole appearance. You knew you looked like a hot mess so what did this man see? Even you let your eyes wander over the man’s appearance. He still wore the grey suit, but the coat was undone. He sat back on the couch with both arms spread out on the back. His ankle was resting on his knee that seemed to bounce a little. You noticed he had some curls and one stray curl dangled in front of his face. Then you noticed his eye color. A chocolate brown that still bore deep into you. It was like he was looking deep into your soul.

“Sorry,” you tore your eyes away from the man and looked back at your father. You swore you could still feet those dark eyes on you. It made your heart pound a bit. “I was just wondering if I’m still riding home with you or if I should ride with Finn.”

Your father stood up and crossed over to you. “Ride with Finn, dear. I’ll be home hopefully in time for your mothers cooking. You know how she gets if any one of us is late.” Your father chuckled lightly, pulling a smile from you. “Also, I want you to meet this gentleman here.” Your father slightly turned you around to face the man, who was now standing. He was pretty tall compared to your small figure.

“Daniel Brühl,” he held out his hand. Damn, Bea was right about the accent. You felt your knees get a little weak as you took a step towards him. You were thankful that your father still held onto your shoulders or you really would have fallen onto the floor and looked like an idiot.

“Y/N,” you took hold of his hand and the grip nearly caused your knees to buckle. They were rough and calloused, something many business men that come through here don’t have. They are almost always moisturized and smooth. But Daniel’s hand’s felt like he’s worked with them for years. It was a pleasurable feeling.

“Y/N?” Daniel smiled and that made you press your thighs together. You prayed that Daniel or your father wouldn’t have noticed. “A beautiful name,” You instantly felt arousal form deep within your core at the sound of your name rolling off this stranger's lips. You wanted to melt instantly. But you kept your composure and remained professional.

“Thank you,” you managed to get out putting your hands behind your back once Daniel let go of yours.

“Daniel here,” your father walked back towards his desk. You noticed that your father’s french accent was creeping in. This happened when he spoke a lot of French. “He’s a tough kid to bargain with.”

“And you sir,” Daniel sat back down and ran his hands over his dark beard. You wondered what it felt like. “Are a hard man to negotiate with and I’ve had some hard ones. You are the smarter one.”

With that, you said your goodbyes and went out to where Finn had been waiting. You got into his small little beat up sedan and began the drive back to your family home. You didn’t live at home, you had a small apartment about five minutes from the track. But on nights like this where your mother wants to get the family together, you stay in your own room. Or if you drank too much you always stayed the night knowing that was safer. Tonight might be one of those nights where you stay the night there since Finn was joining for dinner.

***

“Momma,” You called from the dining room. You began to set up the table and there was an extra plate and such. “You gave me an extra place setting.”

“No, no I didn’t,” your mothers thick Italian accent came around the corner. She held a dish towel in her hand and you instantly were brought back to your childhood. “Your father is bringing someone from work. Plus, I always make plenty of food for everyone.” Your mother lived a majority of her life in the States, but never lost her accent.

You shrugged your shoulders and set the place, wondering who your father was bringing to dinner. Once the house was clean and the table was all set to your mother’s standards, you went to shower and freshen up. You dressed in a nice burgundy blouse and skinny jeans. You put on a pair of beige sandals that are strapped up to the bottom of your calf. You threw your hair into a messy bun and let a few strands of hair fall out. Then you dried your face and threw on very little makeup to make you look like you weren’t tired.

Very rarely, your father came home with someone from work. But when he did, you made sure to make yourself presentable. You were, after all, representing your family when someone from work came to the family home. Something you owed your family for putting up with your stubborn ass for twenty-seven long years.

You found yourself back in the kitchen. Your mother wouldn’t let you touch her cooking and you couldn’t blame her. You weren’t that great of a cook, something that you got from your father. In a way you were more like your father than you were your mother. Something your mother was okay with. But your mother did enjoy the fact that you and her would sit for hours hand sewing blankets for women and children shelters for the winter.

You pulled a beer from the fridge and cracked it open. Before the glass bottle hit your lips your mother was pulling it away from you. “Momma!” You half whined.

“I will not have you getting drunk before your father and his guest gets here,” your mother scolded you.

“I wasn’t going to get drunk, Momma,” you took the beer from her thin hands. “I was only pre-gaming just in case I don’t like him and need to tell him or her to kindly fuck off.”

“Y/N Y/M/N!” Your mother’s gasps had you quickly leaving the kitchen. You knew that if you stayed any longer, the kitchen towel would end up being used on you and not some random beer spill.

The door opened and closed and soon you were able to hear some voices. Finn’s voice was very distinct, it was a bit louder than your Italian-French family. You made your way towards the foyer to great your father and his guest, yes with beer in hand so they knew that you wouldn’t give a fuck later on. But the moment you entered the foyer, the beer bottle slipped from your hands and crashed to the ground. Luckily the bottle didn’t break but you spilled a good deal on the tile floor.

“I’m so sorry,” you dropped down quickly and picked up the bottle and grabbed the towel that Finn, somehow or somewhere grabbed, and cleaned up the spill you made. “I came to say hello. I don’t know what happened.” You rambled on, trying not to make eye contact with your fathers guest. A guest you didn’t know would step foot into your childhood home.

Daniel.

“I told her, Alexandre,” Your mother came around the corner drying her hands. “I told her not to drink before you guys got here.”

“Momma!” You stood up and stared at her. Part of you was embarrassed and the other part was just flat out wanting to be smited out of existence. “This was...I just...I barely drank it.”

“Then why did you drop it?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

“Because I have butter fingers, Momma.” Which was a lie. You knew exactly why you dropped it but you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of the guest.

Dinner went as well as you could have imagined it going. No one focused on you nor Finn, which was a bit surprising for you. Your mother used to always keep most of the attention on Finn. But with Daniel, all the focus was on him. You probably thought it was because Daniel was new to the mix. No one knew him.

Nope.

“I don’t know how it happened,” your fathers French accent was making more of an appearance tonight. He must have spoken a lot of French. “But, young Daniel here, talked me into making him a partner.” Your father raised a glass towards Daniel and everyone followed suit. You quickly glanced at Daniel to see his eyes focused on your father. A genuine smile on his face. “To Daniel. May we have an amazing and thriving business relationship.” With that everyone toasted and resumed dinner.

After dinner, you stood on the balcony and smoked a cigarette. You rarely smoke but tonight you felt the need to put one in your mouth. As you took a long drag, you heard the door open and close. You didn’t look behind you to see who it was. You thought it was Finn trying to talk to you or get into your pants. Or both. Who knew with him anymore?

“Tonight is nice,” the voice called to you. The accent sent chills down your back and right to your core. You were lucky that you kept one of your fun toys here. You were definitely going to need it.

You turned to see Daniel walking his way towards you. A beer in his hands and an unopened one in the other. “Yeah,” you answered, giving him a smile. “It’s really nice. What brings you out here? I’m sure my Dad has a lot to talk to you about?”

Daniel shook his head and smiled. That smile sent an electric shock through your body. It was pure and sweet. “Your father and I, we took care of a lot of things today. He was pretty stubborn but saw the benefits of having a partner and took it.” He handed you the beer and you took it without question.

You smiled. “My father is a very stubborn man, I’m glad he worked something out with you. But,” you turned back to look at the city skyline. Gosh it was beautiful. Your parents picked out a lovely spot to call home. “My Dad, he knew he needed help from someone that wasn’t family. He’s just been putting it off.”

Daniel stood next to you. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. “I’m sure this might be hard on your brother.”

You choked on the breath you were going to take for the next drag. “What? Finn?” You couldn’t help but laugh next. “That’s a first. Finn isn’t my brother. I’m an only child.”

Daniel looked at you. It made you wonder what was going on in his head. He turned to his side and let smoke blow out his nose. Fuck, it was hot. You turned away to gain some kind of composure. But mostly press your legs together. If your parents and Finn weren’t here, you’d probably jump the man already.

“Really?” Daniel asked, taking a look towards you.

“Yeah,” You answered, taking the final drag of your cigarette. “Finn is actually my ex. He’s been coming to family dinners and such since we were in middle school after his dad died.” You tried to think back to when you first met Finn. Was it kindergarten? It had been so long ago. “My mom considers him family so he hangs around still.”

“I see,” Daniel gave you a mysterious smirk. You wondered what it meant. “Will I see you tomorrow?” Something in those dark eyes of his hooked into you.

The question caught you off guard. You fumbled with the cigarette butt until it fell over the balcony edge and into the ravine. You prayed the butt didn’t start any kind of fire. “Fuck, um,” you rubbed your head with your left hand. “Yeah, I don’t work too much alongside my Dad. I do a lot of the grunt work. Not because I have to but because I like to, if that makes sense.” You turned to see Daniel staring at you. Those dark eyes seem to be peering right into your soul now. If only you could read the mind of the stranger in front of you.

“That does make sense,” Daniel grinned at you again. This time you grinned back. “I noticed your mother speaks Italian and your father French? Do you speak some?”

You smiled. “Un peu des deux.” Then as best as you could say it, “Il mio italiano è un po' arrugginito.”

Daniel nodded his head and grinned. “Not bad,” he finished his cigarette and puts out the butt.

“Y/N?” Finn's voice brought you out of the cloud your head rested in. You turned to see him standing, with his arms crossed. His eyes were staring at Daniel, not yours. You could see the hint of jealousy in them. The attention you gave to Daniel, it seemed like Finn didn’t like it. Finn probably thought he was entitled to it. But you didn’t care. “Your dad wants to see you.”

You turned back to Daniel who looked Finn over and then turned back to you. “Your ex doesn’t look very happy,” he whispered. “Could it be that you’re talking to someone that isn’t him?” Daniel raised an eyebrow. It was like he knew after one look at Finn.

You stifled a laugh, “Unfortunately, who knows with him.” You pushed off of the railing, “If you’ll excuse me.”

The talk with your father wasn’t exactly what you were thinking. It was smooth, as all other talks with him went, but he only had one request. To show Daniel the ins and outs of life on the track. According to him, Daniel was a very hands on type of guy. Which could explain the roughness of his hand when you shook them earlier that day. You could still feel them hours later.

“You’re okay with this?” your father asked softly. “I can always have Finn do this, if you don’t want to.”

“No no no,” you quickly shook your head. “I can do it. I really should be stepping up more, for when the day comes when I need to take over. You know?” You look at your father with what felt like the eyes of a small child. Your father was getting up there in age and you hated the idea that one day you may lose him.

“I do, sweetheart," your father stood up from his chair and rubbed his hands together. "I appreciate you doing this. I really wouldn't be thrilled if I had to have Finn do it. I don't necessarily trust him with a man like Daniel around." You tilted your head to the side and wondered what your father meant. "He's been slacking on his work a lot recently and no amount of talking has helped. Not to mention the looks he gave our guest tonight."

Your eyes widened some, you forgot your father saw more than anyone realized. Kind of like you. "What will you do with him?" You asked.

"One more talk and if nothing changes, I'll let him go." Your father looked down. "Breaking a promise to an old friend. But my business comes first."

"Don't worry, dad," you walked towards him and pecked him on the cheek. "I got this."

When it was time for Daniel to head out, you stood by your father. You wished you had more time with Daniel. He was a lovely person to talk to and you wanted to know more about him. As you all said your goodbyes, you gave Daniel a smile. A smile that he returned and gently took your hand in his and planted a soft kiss to it. His dark eyes didn’t leave yours. His lips were soft and you wondered what they would feel like against yours. You felt your face burn up and watched as Daniel did the same to your mother. From the corner of your eye, you saw Finn glaring at Daniel. The look in his eyes didn’t look friendly and when they swept over to you, it sent a chill down your spine.

***

Over the next couple of months, you taught Daniel the ins and outs of the track. You showed him what was easy and most effective at getting the job done. Like your closing up routine of tying the bags up for the morning clean up crew. Daniel was an excellent learner and listener and that made you feel great. You thought that you were a crappy teacher and you told him that. But Daniel shushed you and told you that you were doing great.

The time that you had spent together, you got to know him as well. While you taught him the ins and outs, the two of you talked about life. You learned that Daniel was born in Spain but grew up in Germany. He lived in a bilingual home so he was very well versed in both Spanish and German. That really intrigued you and later on you were turned on when you heard him say a few phrases. Phrases you committed to memory when you wanted to think about his voice.

When you weren’t with Daniel you were either with Bea having lunch or stuck with Finn. The days you were stuck with Finn, you wanted nothing more than to shove a sock in his mouth and tell him to just shut the hell up. Finn wouldn’t stop talking negatively about Daniel. It was “Daniel can’t do this” or “Daniel can’t just waltz in here and change things.”

“For the love of God, Finn,” you finally snapped at him one afternoon. The two of you were working on an old car that needed repairs. “Can you fucking shut up? Daniel is a partner, meaning with the contract he and Dad drew up, he’s also part owner. So he can do whatever the fuck he wants here. Which also means he can change up whatever he can.”

Finn stopped what he was doing. “Why are you so defensive of the guy?”

“I’m not,” you huffed as you tightened a bolt. “I’m simply stating facts. Facts that you have chosen to ignore. Speaking of ignoring things?” You wiped your hands on a towel. “Have you taken that order out?”

Finn shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

You sighed. “Finn!” you practically yelled his name. “That order needed to go out like two days ago! Why? You know what,” you calmed yourself down and placed your hands on your hips. “I’ll take care of it but, you go home and when you come back on Monday, you will be handling the front desk for a week.”

Finn snorted. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Y/N. You’re not the boss.”

“True,” you walked towards him and pressed a finger into his chest. “But when Dad isn’t here, I take over. You should count yourself lucky, anyway, since Dad isn’t here. He’s this close to firing you. So go home and come back with a work ethic like Dad’s or Daniel’s.”

Finn held up his hands and walked away. “Fine. Whatever.”

The rest of the morning had been a blur. Daniel and you talked about more ways to make the work life at the track even more smooth. Daniel came up with really good ideas that you liked. Once you guys agreed to something, you guys noted it down and put it on your father’s desk. You always wanted to make sure that your father also agreed before changing something. Daniel agreed as well.

“Do you have anything planned this weekend?” Daniel asked you as the two of you went down the inventory checklist. The question didn’t necessarily catch you off guard. You and Daniel were at the point in your work relationship to ask what the other was up to for the evening or the weekend.

“Nothing really?” you resumed your counting of paper towels. “What about you? Have anything planned this weekend? Or will you be as boring as me and do nothing?”

“Y/N, you are never boring,” Daniel's voice was calm and gentle. You turned to him and saw the most charming smile on his face. It nearly made your knees weak. “In fact,” Daniel set his clipboard down and crossed over to you. He placed both his hands on your shoulders. The firm but gentle grip alone made your brain fuzzy. Does this man know the effect he has on you? “You are one of the best people here. Which is why I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to dinner tomorrow evening?”

Now that question took you by surprise. Suddenly the hands that were resting on your shoulder felt extremely heavy and the dark chocolate eyes that looked into yours, well they were holding you in place. The corner of the left side of his lip twitched up into a small crooked smile. It was cute, sweet and it made your heart swell. You knew there was a good age gap between the two of you but right now that didn’t matter to you.

“Sure,” you smiled as you answered him. You felt your face grow warm and you didn’t care if Daniel saw that. You just took in the huge smile he gave you.

“Wonderful,” Daniel licked his lips and dropped his hands. You watched as he rubbed them together as he always does. His left hand gripped his right thumb. “I’ll make reservations for tomorrow and pick you up at seven?”

You smiled and reached out for Daniel’s arm before he left the area. “I’m not staying with my parents, so you’ll have to pick me up at my apartment.” You scribbled your address on the paper and handed it to him. You watched as he smiled even more as he looked down at the paper.

“Your apartment complex is right across from mine,” Daniel’s look at you had your face burn a tad bit more. “Probably meant to be.” Daniel winked at you and walked out of sight. Leaving you to wonder if that encounter actually happened and not you daydreaming it happened.

Your lunch with Bea was exactly how you pictured it. Once you told her about your dinner with Daniel, her entire face just lit up and she squealed lightly. You listened to her ramble on and on about how some of the older women have tried to score a date with Daniel. But according to Bea, Daniel would let them down softly.

“Where is he taking you?” Bea was practically bouncing by the time the two of you got back to the track.

“He didn’t say,” you answered. You were curious but you wanted it to be a surprise. “All he said was that he was going to make reservations.”

“I bet it’s somewhere nice,” Bea’s sing-song voice made your heart flutter and skip a few beats. This was the first date you had been on in years. Since, Finn took you out to the pizzeria in high school. “Wait,” Bea turned with an eyebrow raised. “What if he’s a murderer and you’re just his type?” Bea air quoted the words his type.

“Bea,” you laughed and shook your head. “You watch way too many crime documentaries. But,” you placed your hand on her shoulder and smiled. “If I do go missing I want you to be the one to write my story for Netflix.”

Bea smiled. “You’re a great friend. Just keep me updated so I don’t have to do that.”

You watched as Bea walked away and when you turned around you saw Finn standing a few feet from where you stood. The look on his face pretty much said that he had listened to yours and Bea’s conversation.

“I thought I told you to go home?” You placed your hands on your hips and stared at Finn. “Why are you back here?”

Finn took a deep breath and turned around and began to walk away. You weren’t going to have any of that, and if it were your father, you knew that your father would fire Finn faster than anything. You caught up to Finn and stopped him. “Excuse me!” You placed a hand on his chest. “I asked you a question.”

Finn gripped your hand tight and roughly flung it to the side. “I was going to apologize to you about my behavior and go back home. But after hearing all of that,” Finn pushed you aside. “I don’t think I will.”

You grabbed Finn by the arm. If he was going to be rough and push you around, might as well return the gesture. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Finn spun around and took hold of your upper arm and squeezed it tight. “What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Finn was practically yelling now. “After all this time of trying to get back together, you plan a fucking date with that foreigner?”

You felt the color drain from your body. Anger boiled under your skin as you ripped your arm free from Finn's grasp. “You better watch what you say next.” Your warning tone held more venom than you thought. “Don’t forget that my parents came from overseas, too.”

Finn stared at you for a good five minutes before turning around and walking away. You couldn’t believe what he had said. You couldn’t believe that he would actually stoop to that level. You shook your head and hands hoping the feeling of rage would leave your body. But it didn’t. Nothing you tried to help you calm down worked. You were so pissed at Finn. You wanted nothing more than to punch him in the throat.

As you walked into the building to cool down in your father’s office, Daniel took notice of your appearance. The way you walked wasn’t that loose and free walk. Your body was so tense that it looked almost robotic when you walked. He knew something was wrong. He stopped what he was doing and was at your side in seconds. You didn’t know it but Daniel had fallen hard for you already and would move mountains to make you happy. He knew that this was one of those moments. He hated to see that look of pure anger on your face. He wanted to know why and wanted to know how he could fix it for you.

“Y/N?” Daniels soft voice asked. He gently placed a hand on your arm and turned you around. “What happened?”

“Finn,” was all you had to say. Daniel let go when he saw that you clearly didn’t want anyone to touch you. You heard him mumble a small apology and looked up at him. You saw the worry in his eyes. “He’s being an asshole and not to mention that he hates your guts.”

Daniel didn’t seem surprised by that. “What did he do?” he just asked.

“He complained about you this morning for starters,” you opened your fathers office and plopped onto the sofa. Daniel sat next to you. “Then he overheard Bea and I talking about our dinner date and he got so angry over it.”

“He got angry that his ex-girlfriend is moving on?”

“Yep,” you answered, rubbing your face. “I asked him what his deal was and he turned around and yelled at me for repaying him for going out with you.”

Daniel shifted around on the sofa, he crossed his legs and placed a hand on your shoulder. The gentle touch began to calm you down. You sat back and closed your eyes. You felt two fingers lightly brush the hair from the side of your face behind your ear. You opened your eyes and looked to the side. There sat Daniel, his dark eyes just looking into yours. He looked so peaceful and so sweet. You wanted to sit like this forever.

“I have to report this to my Dad,” you broke the silence and sat up. “He put his hands on me and my Dad isn’t going to like it at all.”

***

The next evening as you got ready for your dinner date with Daniel, you thought back to the conversation you had with your father. It went as you expected it to go. He was calm through it all of it and you knew that if your father was calm, he was pissed. He obviously made sure you were okay, you were his only child and daughter. It didn’t matter the relationship he had with Finn, Finn grabbed you and insulated Daniel and his family.

“I’ll take care of it,” your father said. “Just enjoy your weekend and your dinner with Daniel.”

When you had told your father about your dinner with Daniel, he didn’t sound surprised. He was really cool about it and was just happy you were getting back into the world of dating.

“You’re not concerned about the age difference?” You asked. You weren’t too iffy on the age because you were a consenting adult. You just wanted to make sure your father was okay with it, because it mattered to you what he thought about it.

“No, not at all,” your father replied. “Your mother had you late in her forties. We are old enough to be his parents. Plus, Daniel approached me before I left town to see if it was okay to take you to dinner and that his intentions were one hundred percent pure.”

It was not long after you got ready that Daniel knocked on your door. You got up from your couch and made your way towards your door. You peeked through the little eye hole and saw Daniel standing there in a grey suit, almost like the one that he wore that very first day at the track.

You took a step back and opened the door. Once you did, you watched as Daniels took a deep breath as he looked you over. You wore a red sundress with white flowers printed around it. The Dress had a deep V in the front that stopped in the middle between both your breasts. The shoes you wore were a beige gladiator sandal like heel, the straps went half way up your calf. Your hair hung low around your shoulders and your make up was natural except for the light pink lip gloss you threw on.

“Wunderschӧnen,” Daniel said licking his top lip. The small action alone had your cheeks rosy with color. But you knew that he had called you beautiful or something like that. Even the way he looked you said it.

“I don’t really dress up like this,” you brushed the slightly wrinkled front of your dress. “This dress is like three years old I think and the shoes, Bea let me borrow those…” You let your voice wander off.

“You look lovely,” Daniel smiled as he looked you over again. How was he going to get through dinner with you looking like that? “Shall we?” He offered his hand to you and you took it with a smile. “I promise to make tonight memorable.”

***

Dinner was amazing.

The two of you barely ate anything because the two of you couldn’t stop talking. You guys started out talking about each other's childhood and somehow the two of you ended up talking about some cat video you saw that morning. Talking about that video had you laughing all over again.

“Let me see,” Daniel stood up from his side of the table and moved to sit next to you. He placed one arm behind your back as you got the video ready. When you pressed play on the video, instantly Daniel started to laugh. You loved his laugh so much. “That was good,” he said when the video was over. “That was really good. I needed a laugh like that.”

“Well, I’m glad I can give that to you,” you took a sip of the wine that Daniel had insisted you try. You were a beer kind of gal and you only liked certain wines, so you tried it and were very much in love with the semi dry alcohol. “Tonight is very nice and I’m very much enjoying every second of it.”

Daniels hand rested on the small of your back and began to slowly rub his thumb in circles. The smile on his face said it all. He was enjoying everything about tonight. The way you laughed was something out of a book. The way you leaned over the table earlier while the two of you talked got him worked up and he wanted nothing more than to take you in the restaurant bathroom. To nuzzle his face between your breasts. To have his way with you. Then the way your soft skin felt under his rough, calloused hand--everything in that moment was perfect for Daniel.

“As am I,” Daniel replied. He watched as your tongue quickly darted out and wet your lips. He wanted to know what they would feel like against his own. Were they soft? Would they moan and whimper his name if he had his way with you? But Daniel couldn’t, not tonight at least. Daniel just wanted to take you out. He wanted to enjoy your company outside of the track.

When the check came and was paid for, Daniel walked you to your side of the car and held the door open for you. You got in and let Daniel close the door. Tonight was the best night you had in years. It was what you needed.

Then your phone rang. It was Bea.

“Are you calling to see if I’m still living?” You answered the phone.

“You can’t blame me,” Bea laughed. “But now that I have you, tell me all about it.”

You looked to see Daniel standing outside the driver side door. He had his phone in his hands and it looked like he was texting someone. “Well, I’m still with him. But I can tell you that it’s been amazing. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“You better, I have a homicide detective on speed dial,” Bea giggled.

“Bye, Bea,” you hung up the phone in time to hear Daniel get in.

“Sorry about that,” Daniel said, buckling in. “An old buddy texted me. Wanted to see how tonight went. Told him I would call him once I had you dropped off.”

“That’s sweet of him,” You tucked your phone back into your wallet. “Bea called me to make sure I was alive. She watches too many crime documentaries and somehow was convinced you were a serial killer and I was just your type.”

Daniel got a good laugh at that. “Well, she did get one thing right.” He started the car and put the car in reverse. The look on your face questioned his statement and he saw that. “You are my type.”

***

Daniel walked you to your apartment door and held your ice cream as you opened your door. He followed you in and shut the door with his shoulder. You set your things and turned to him with a small smile on your face. You wanted to ask if he wanted to stay for a drink and hang out for a while but you began to feel the butterflies in your stomach.

You turned back around and reached for the random clean glass that sat in the dish rack. You quickly filled it with tap water and chugged it until it was all gone. You set the glass to the side and turned to see Daniel still eyeing you. The way you noticed how his eyes flicker around body made your cheeks burn. Gosh, you don’t remember how long it’s been to have someone make you feel like this. You weren’t sure when the last time in your and Finn's relationship he made you feel like that.

“Thanks for dinner,” You told him, crossing over to him to get your slowly melting ice cream from him. “I had an amazing time.”

“As did I,” Daniel handed you the cone. “I guess I should be going. I don’t want to take up more of your night.”

You walked Daniel to the door. You were bummed that the night needed to end because you wanted more of his company. Daniel wanted the same but he knew that if he stayed any longer he would be even more tempted to have his way with you. Daniel wasn’t someone to just fuck on the first date.

Daniel turned around once he opened the door. There you were, your body practically brushing up against his as he looked down at you. Daniel immediately took notice of your flushed, rosy cheeks and the way your chest rose and fell with each deep breath. You, too, were holding yourself back.

Daniel couldn’t stop himself, he reached for your face and pulled it towards his. The moment your lips touched, it felt like a million sparks were set off inside your body. You instinctively wrapped your arms around Daniels neck and held him closer to your body. Daniel slid a hand around your shoulder while the other hand slid down to grip your hip. He walked you back until your back hit the wall.

Your lips and his moved together like a dance. His were soft against your own. They were intoxicating and your mind was drunk on the feeling. Daniel let his tongue slip out and brush over your bottom one, causing you to moan. You could feel the arousal pooling between your folds. You wanted more. You hitched your leg up and wrapped it around his waist. Daniel grabbed it.

“Querida, no,” Daniel pulled back and rested his head on yours. He was breathing hard and so were you. “We shouldn’t, at least not tonight.” He pulled his face back and brushed some loose hair from your face. “I want to make it a more meaningful first time for us. I want to kiss every inch of your body and worship it. I want to feel the softness of your skin on mine and to hear you scream out my name as I’m working you through multiple orgasms.”

You didn’t have any words. At first you were honestly a little disappointed to be turned down but as Daniel spoke, you felt your chest clench up and your cheeks warm up. You wanted Daniel even more now. You wanted to feel him inside you giving you the pleasure he knew you needed and wanted to give you.

“Okay,” you nodded your head. Your voice was just above a whisper but you knew that Daniel heard you.

Daniel smiled and leaned in to press his lips once more to yours. When he pulled away, he let your leg fall and took a step back. He put his hands in his pockets, “I very much enjoyed tonight, Y/N. I’ll see you Monday, meine Liebe.”

After Daniel left, you closed the door. You made a beeline towards your room. You flopped onto your bed and reached over to the night stand. You pulled out your friendly little buzzing toy and checked the batteries. When you were positive they worked you turned the lights off and called it an early night.

***

When Monday came around, your father was back in town. You tried to approach him about Finn but he said he’d talk to you after work. You understood why as soon as the first group of suits came in. There were meetings after meetings today and Daniel was a part of all of them with your father. So you hardly saw them. Only in passing where Daniel would wink at you from afar. Or the best one, you were making an afternoon cup of coffee when you felt Daniel next to you. He brushed against you as much as he could and whispered something in one of the many languages he knows.

By the time it was ready to shut down the track for the night, you went to find your father. Once you did, you were caught up on all the going ons with Finn. Which made you realize that the reason today went super smooth, Finn wasn’t at the track. You were happy that your father took care of it because from what he told you, you knew it needed to happen.

You were doing the last of your closing duties when you heard something bang around in one of the garages near you. You finish tying up the last bag and make your way towards the only garage open. There you see Daniel, arms deep into the engine of his red car. You heard him muttering under his breath and he didn’t sound like he was in a good mood.

“Hey,” you called while walking into the garage. “Do you need a skinner arm?”

Daniel stood up and as he did, he bumped his head on the hood of the car. “Y/N, I didn’t hear you come in.”

You walked next to him and looked into the spot that Daniel's arm was just in. “Looks like you lost a bolt. I might be able to reach it for you.” You took the sweater you were wearing off and threw your hair into a crappy bun and reached into the engine. “How’d you manage to knock this down there?”

“I knocked the car and it just fell,” Daniel replied. You could feel him standing next to you. “There was a rattle and I wanted to fix it.”

You managed to get the bolt until you felt another concerning thing in the engine. “Well that isn’t your only problem.” You stood up and handed him the bolt. “I felt something down there, might want to see what it is.”

Daniel rolled under the car and heard a few soft curses. When he rolled out he had a look on his face that pretty much told you that he wasn’t happy about what he had found. He sat up and rubbed his face. “Mouse nest and a few chewed up wires.”

You knelt down in front of him and placed a hand on his forearm. You didn’t miss how his muscles tensed up and relaxed at your touch. “It’s common around here,” you gave him a half smile. “I’ve had mice in my engine a few times. The wires are an easy fix and I can help you with that tomorrow.”

Daniel turned to you and took your hand in his. “I appreciate that, Liebling.” Then he leaned towards you and pressed his lips on yours. You felt your knees give out from under you and you landed right on his lap. One leg on either side of him.

Daniel’s hands were on your hips pulling you closer to him. This allowed you to wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss even more. Eliciting a low groan from Daniel and feeling the grip on your hips tighten. “Scheiße!” Daniel pulled back and you saw how blown his pupils were with lust. He wanted you, and he wanted you bad. You wanted the exact same thing.

Daniel gripped your hips tighter and shuffled around until your legs were wrapped around his waist. He managed to stand up and walked towards the workbench that was beside you guys. He placed you down and let his hands run from your hips down to the bottom of your thighs. Even though you wore jeans, his hands still left goosebumps in their wake. Making you groan softly.

Daniel placed a gentle kiss to the base of your neck and nuzzled his nose up to your jaw, the hair of his beard tickling the sensitive parts of your skin. . “Daniel,” you breathed a sigh and let your head fall back. Your hands held onto both his forearms. Your legs still wrapped around his waist. “Please, Daniel,” you whined softly, tightening your legs around him.

Daniel groaned when he felt his half hard, clothed erection brush against your clothed core. You sucked in a soft, sharp breath. The sound of his name on your lips was music to his ears. It was the most beautiful sound and he wanted to hear it again. Daniel moved his left hand between your bodies and pressed his thumb to your almost damp center.

“Mmmm,” Daniel hummed and pulled away. He kept his thumb where it was and slowly rubbed small circles. He watched as you closed your eyes and let your mouth fall open. “We probably should take this somewhere else.” He leaned in towards your ear and brushed his lips over them, sending a chill down your back. “Or we can risk getting caught on camera or by someone walking in here.”

The idea of getting caught thrilled you, but you remembered where you were. The risk of getting caught was high, but the risk of getting caught by your father was even more high. You took a deep breath and brought a hand up to his hair and gently gripped it. “Then we should probably take my car to your place.”

***

You had barely made it through the doorway when you felt Daniel pull you towards his chest. He shut and locked the door and had you pushed up on the closest wall in seconds. His lips crashed onto yours and you could feel the hunger behind the kiss. His hands strayed from your sides to your ass where he squeezed. You squealed and felt a smile on Daniel's face.

Daniel pulled you away from the wall and guided you back towards his small living room. His lips never left yours. Daniel still couldn’t believe that you were right here. In his arms, his lips on yours. He knew back at the track, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He would have taken you right there on that workbench if he hadn’t thought about the camera hanging in the corner of the small area.

Daniel pulled away from you briefly to turn the two of you around and sit on the couch. He leaned forward and pulled you towards him. He looked up at you with those dark eyes and you smiled as you placed your hands on his shoulders and straddled his lap.

You kept eye contact with Daniel while you let your hands slide down to his chest. One by one, you undid each button on his shirt. Once the last button was done, you slide your hands over Daniel’s chest to the golden chain that hung around his neck. You looped your finger around the chain and pressed your lips to his.

Daniel's arms wrapped around you and he held on tight to you as he leaned back. Daniels hands slid to the bottom of your shirt and gently gripped the hem and tugged. You leaned back and let Daniel swiftly take your shirt off. Leaving you in your bra. It wasn’t lacey at all, just a solid ocean green color.

Daniel leaned forward some and slid a hand up your back until it reached your bra clasp. In one swift movement, your bra was undone and on the floor. Daniel looked at your bare breast and took them into his hands and squeezed them. You closed your eyes and exhaled. You didn't even realize that you were even holding your breath.

You opened your eyes when you felt Daniel shift around. He had his arms around you again and was standing up. He began to carry you back towards his room. Daniel dropped you down on the soft mattress and as you were backing up, Daniel was crawling his way towards you.

Your back hit the head board and Daniel slid a hand between your legs and used a knee to spread your legs enough to fit himself in between them. The hand that slid between your legs reached the button of your jeans.

With one little look he asked, “Do you still want this? I’ll understand if you want to-”

You cut Daniel off and grabbed hold of his face and brought him to your lips. You kiss him hard and let your tongue run along the bottom part of his lip before pulling away. Daniel groaned “Of course I want this. I want you,” you breathed deeply. “I’ve been waiting for something like this. Someone like you.”

Daniel’s lips curved into a mischievous grin. He leaned back onto his knees, letting his hair fall into face as he pulled your jeans down in one swift movement. “And you, mi querida,” he crawled his way back up to you and brushed your hair from your face. “Are everything that I have been looking for. Now, let me treat you like the goddess that I know you are.”

[mrs-gucci]

A Starlit Night in Firenze [REPOST] {Maurizio Gucci x Reader}

author’s notes: hellooo! I originally wrote this story as an ‘x OC’ because that’s what I was writing at the time, but I decided to change it into an ‘x Reader’ story since that’s what more people like to read! 

also, have I mentioned how much I looooooove the idea that Maurizio occasionally slips into Italian with you, especially in moments of pleasure?? ugh, I love it. 

**I used a translation application for the Italian in this story. Apologies if there are any typos and/or incorrect sentences/grammar. Italian sentences/words are in italics throughout the story with translations after the sentences in parenthesis.

**This is MY OWN INTERPRETATION of Maurizio Gucci’s character, as portrayed by Adam Driver in the upcoming film, House Of Gucci.

warnings: smut. fluff. loads of romance. maurizio calling reader “tesoro”™️. multiple orgasms. relatively soft sex. some aftercare.

(possible) tw’s: implied infidelity/extramarital affair. implied age gap (reader is over 21, no more than 10 years difference). 

word count: 2.7k

“Tesoro” means “Treasure” in Italian (an affectionate nickname).

“Firenze”: Italian name for the city of Florence.

“Fiume Arno”: the name of the river that runs through Florence.

You never meant to get involved with Maurizio Gucci. 

You didn’t even know that you had until after the first night you spent together. 

It was a beautiful starlit night in Firenze when you two first met, four years earlier. 

-

Patrons of the banquet hall were all dressed to the nines, not excluding yourself, but there was one man who stood out from the rest. 

Perhaps it was his massive size, as he stood at 6’1”. Perhaps it was his incredible looks, his brilliant brown hair that was starting to gray, which was something that usually worsened someone’s appearance; it made his better, somehow. 

Maybe it was his suit, nothing fancy or special by any means, but he looked so fucking good in it, you could barely look away.

When our eyes met across the room, you were captivated, instantly sucked into the complexities of his tired yet excited brown eyes. The breath was stolen from your lungs, and you had to look away, cheeks warming. 

A small part of you wishes that he hadn’t come over, then, but a much larger part of you wouldn’t want to change anything that happened that night. Even after everything that resulted, all the drama and pandemonium, you don’t regret anything.

He abruptly ended the conversation with whomever he was speaking to, gliding across the room gracefully, yet with a sense of urgency. You were filling a small plate with a variety of cheeses when his presence appeared behind you, causing you to tense slightly.

He said, lightly running his hand down your arm, causing goosebumps to erupt out from beneath your skin. 

“What is your name?”

You turned around, now facing him, captivated by him as soon as you met his eyes up close.

“Y/N.”

He offered you a small smile, reaching down for your hand, bringing your knuckles up to his lips. 

“An bel nome adatto a una bella donna. I am Maurizio.” (A beautiful name fit for a beautiful woman.)

You blush even harder, biting your lip as you nod.

“It’s nice to meet you, Maurizio.”

“Will you come dance with me?”

His hand seemed shaky as he extended it towards you.

“It would be an honor.”

The cheese plate was quickly forgotten as you took his hand and allowed yourself to be guided to the dance floor. You took position somewhere in the sea of people, and you wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands fell to your waist, holding it firmly but gently. 

“So, what is a beautiful young woman such as yourself doing at an event like this?”

That was a somewhat complicated answer, but you decided not to get into it at the moment.

“I was given the ticket after a friend of mine fell ill and couldn’t attend.”

He nods, eyes drinking in your appearance.

“How about you?”

This question seems to shake him a bit, a moment of uncertainty crossing his features. 

“My company sent me here tonight, to...network.”

You nod, allowing your fingers to rub gently against the skin across the back of his neck, something that makes him shiver.

Song after song plays, and you talk and laugh together as you sway along with the rhythm. The world suddenly feels as if only the two of you occupy it, and all you can focus on is him. He’s not only effortlessly handsome and smooth-talking, but he’s also extremely witty and intelligent. 

The night begins to wind to a close and you’re overcome with a wave of sadness, not wanting this moment to end. You feel better than you have in a long time, and you’ve connected to someone in a way you hadn’t before.

“How is it that you’ve gotten more beautiful than when I first saw you this evening?”

You can sense his sadness, too, his arms pulling you closer to him as the last tune plays.

You pull apart, still holding hands, not willing to let each other go. He looks pensive for a moment before a small grin paints his face.

“Would you like to walk with me to the river? It’s only a short way from here, and it looks absolutely beautiful this time of night.”

Without apprehension, you agree, quickly rushing over to grab the small clutch you brought along before walking out with him. 

Maurizio holds you by the waist the entire walk, keeping you close to his side, as the conversation continues. You can’t help but allow your eyes to wander around the small walkways and alleys you walk through, soaking up the natural beauty of the city. 

Soon, you two arrive at the harbor, and you’re rendered speechless as you look out on the water, the full moon reflecting on the ever-changing surface. You feel his eyes on you as you take in the sight before you, the smile never leaving his lips.

“I told you it was worth the walk.”

You look over at him, eyes full of wonder and amazement. 

“This is so, so beautiful, thank you for showing me.”

He nods.

“I thought that nothing or no one could ever rival the natural beauty of the moon’s reflection on the waters of the Fiume Arno, but then I met you.”

Your cheeks get warm as he smiles, guiding you to the edge of the walkway. 

“Please, sit with me.”

After a bit of maneuvering and fussing with the poofy skirt of your dress, you settle down next to Maurizio, resting your head on his shoulder as both of you watch the boats pass out in the distance. 

His hand begins running up and down your arm soothingly, and after a short while, he looks down at you.

“Your skin shimmers in the moonlight, you know.”

He says softly, bringing a hand up to brush against your cheekbone. 

You chuckle nervously, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear as you look away. 

A finger pushes up against your chin, effectively lifting it until your eyes have no choice but to meet his. 

“I mean it. You are one of the most beautiful women I’ve met in my lifetime, not to mention charming and quick-witted. I haven’t had as much fun with anyone else as I have with you tonight.”

He leans in, resting his forehead on yours, eyes staring deeply into yours. 

“I would like to kiss you, if you’ll let me.”

You grin, nodding slightly.

“I would like nothing more.”

His hand cups your cheek as he closes the distance between your lips, sighing when they meet. You close my eyes and reach around to hold the back of his neck gently, fingers running through his hair. 

Your touches, your movements steadily grow more desperate as the kiss deepens. He moves closer to you, both of his hands now cupping your cheeks. 

You separate for a moment, both softly panting. 

“Mio dio, sei incredibile.” (My god, you’re incredible.)

You smile, nuzzling your nose against his. 

He kisses you again, but this time, he encourages you to lay back against the stone sidewalk, hand cradling your head. He lays next to you, propping himself up on his elbow while his other hand traces the curve of your hip, then your stomach, fingers teasing just below your breasts. 

Your lips move together in a tender, passionate kiss, for a while before he pulls away again. There’s something that’s changed, his eyes...they’ve darkened, there’s hunger in his gaze.

“Let me take you to my apartment tonight, tesoro. Let me lay with you, Y/N, let me give you pleasure. Please, I want you so badly.”

Your eyes widen for a second, taking in what he’s just proposed. Before you can even really stop yourself, not that you would’ve anyways, you nod.

“Please, take me, Maurizio.”

His entire being seems to lighten instantly, picking you up and scooping you up into his arms, walking you to one of the structures just meters from where you two were sitting. You chuckle softly.

“Did you have this planned?”

Maurizio smirks down at you.

“Perhaps.”

You laugh as he unlocks the door and walks up the stairs with little difficulty, weaving through the apartment to his bedroom. 

He sets you down on your feet and stands behind you, fingers beginning to work the laces holding your dress together. His lips attach themselves to your neck, kissing, licking and sucking the skin there. 

You can already feel your center heating up, thighs rubbing together with each touch of his lips on your skin. You step out of your shoes once all the ties are undone, allowing the bodice and skirt to simply fall from your figure, leaving you in just your panties. 

Maurizio takes a step closer, pressing himself flush against your back, arm wrapping around your ribcage, hand cupping one of your breasts. He lets out a sigh as he gives it a soft squeeze, working at his belt buckle. 

Your head falls back against his chest and you let out a shaky exhale, eyes fluttering shut. His chin digs into your shoulder as his other hand wraps around your waist, pulling your hips back against him. 

He growls lowly in your ear when your ass presses against his erection, and his hips begin gently thrusting, grinding himself against you. 

“O-Oh,”

He sighs, moving his hand to your other breast. 

“Do you feel it, tesoro, how much I want you?”

“Yes,”

You whimper, nodding.

“Does my size impress you?”

Your panties must have a wet spot on them by now, something about the way he sounds, the innocence of his tone, it’s all so incredibly arousing.

“Mmhmm,”

You breathe.

His hand releases your breast and he stands back up, shrugging off his blazer before working at the buttons on his shirt. He pats your ass playfully.

“Get on your hands and knees.”

You nod, crawling onto the mattress on your knees, falling onto your hands seconds later. You stick your ass out purposely and spread your legs, waiting for his next move. 

He quickly sheds his button-up and dress pants, pushing them down his legs, revealing his hardened cock to the cool apartment air. You look back and clench in anticipation, wondering how he’ll fit inside of you.

His large hand wraps around the base and he grunts softly under his breath, giving himself a couple of pumps before kneeling down on the mattress behind you, rubbing himself through your folds. 

You whine as you feel his head poke and rub against your clit, and he seems to notice this, making it a point to hold himself right over the sensitive nub, rutting forward, rubbing it further. 

“I want you to be nice and ready for me, ready for my cock.”

He whispers, other hand holding your hip, guiding you back and forth over his head as his hips keep rutting against your center. 

“That’s it, go ahead tesoro, use me to feel good.”

Your breathing is replaced by soft whines and whimpers as your hips rock back and forth against his head. You’re getting close, movements becoming more and more desperate. He hums, hand splayed across your lower back, still encouraging your movements but keeping your back straight. 

“Brava ragazza,” (Good girl,)

He says.

“Ecco, vieni una, sborra per me.” (There you go, come on, cum for me.)

You soon come to a soft climax, moaning as you rub yourself through it.

Maurizio rubs your hips for a moment before lining himself up with your entrance. 

“Tell me if it’s too much, and I will stop.”

You nod and he pushes his hips forward, slowly breaching your entrance with his thick length. 

You fall onto your elbows, gasping as your walls stretch to accommodate him. Your eyes squeeze shut as he keeps pushing in slowly, groaning softly.

Once he makes it in all the way, he pauses, allowing you to continue adjusting to him, hands squeezing your hips.

“Is it still o-okay for you, tesoro?”

“Yes.”

You whisper.

“Y-You can move now.”

He pulls out and pushes back in slowly, establishing a steady but quickening rhythm with his hips. 

“Oh, Y/N, mio dio. You feel amazing, mi tesoro.”

As the burning feeling subsides, replaced by pleasure, your sensitive walls begin to clench around his length. Your body rocks forward with each forward thrust of his hips, and your soft gasps and whimpers soon turn to moans.

“M-Maurizio, please…”

He bends down, your back pressed against his front, hands planted on either side of you. His breath is hot and heavy in your ear.

“What is it? What would y-you like?”

You turn your head to the side, moaning softly.

“Faster.”

His growl vibrates your eardrum as his hips pick up speed, the sound of skin slapping quickly fills the room and echoes off the walls. 

“Dio, you’re tight...feels so good around me.”

He rests his knee just inside of yours, pushing it, forcing your legs to spread wider. A mutual groan comes from both of your lips at the new angle. 

“F-Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Maurizio chants in your ear, noises steadily growing louder and more frequent as his length begins to throb inside of you.

“Y/N, t-tesoro, I’m not going to last m-much longer.”

You nod, pushing your hips back with each of his forward thrusts, clenching around him as much as you can manage. 

His hips begin thrusting out of rhythm, grunts getting louder as he loses control, bending to the whims of lust and pleasure. 

“Grrrnghhhh...w-where, where do you w-want my cum?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, fucking myself on him, trying to bring him to orgasm.

“O-Outside, anywhere, it doesn’t m-matter.”

He falls to his elbows and wraps his hand around your neck, grunting loudly with each thrust. He’s so close, you can feel it, and you use the last of my energy to clench around him even tighter. 

As soon as you do, he groans loudly, quickly pulling out and cumming all over your ass and folds.

“Gahh...ghhhhooo...c-cazzo!” (fuck)

The warm, thick ropes land on your skin and you sigh softly, surprised at how much there was. You know he isn’t necessarily young but clearly he’s not that old if he can still do things of this nature. 

You feel him softening inside of you before he pulls out and collapses on the bed next to you. You half expected him to just fall asleep or kick you out, but he did something that you didn’t expect:

He pulled you in and held you against his body, cuddling you. His lips leave kisses on your shoulder, your cheeks, wherever they could reach.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

Maurizio whispers between kisses.

“Thank you.”

You smile to yourself, relaxing under his touch.

“Thank you, Maurizio. I had a good time with you tonight.”

“That was the most fun I’ve had in a long time, tesoro.”

His face nuzzles into your neck.

“I enjoy spending time with you.”

The two of you stay like this for a while before you start shivering in the cool air of the apartment. He unwraps his arms, allowing you to get up and put your undergarments back on. 

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

Your eyes widen. Was this not just a quick fuck to you like I thought it was?

“Y-You...you want me to...stay?”

He nods, looking away, suddenly shy.

“I would, very much, but I understand if you don’t want to.”

You think for a moment before nodding.

“Sure, I’ll stay. I have a train back to Rome in the afternoon, so I can’t stick around for very long in the morning.”

“That’s fine.”

He says, smiling as he sits up and pulls the boxers back up onto his hips. 

“Let me get you some clothes to borrow for the night.”

After you get dressed in the surprisingly comfortable Gucci tracksuit, you crawl under the covers. Maurizio joins you minutes later, reaching out to pull you back against him once more.

“Is this alright?”

You nod silently, taking a deep breath.

Soon, you feel his soft snores on your neck, and you giggle to yourself. 

Why is that so fucking endearing? And why do I feel myself falling for him?

You let yourself fall asleep to the rhythmic sounds of his snoring, quieting your mind.

I’ll deal with it in the morning.

[petitfanboy]

Comprehensive and in-depth analysis of Asuka and Shinji relationship in 3.0+1.0, implications for the ending and why many youtube Eva analysis videos titles I believe are wrong. (Spoilers ahead)

Preface

It seems it was yesterday when I wrote an extended essay regarding the essential and critical relationship of Asuka and Shinji in Evangelion for the last time. However, seven years have passed. 

My idea here is to write, in general lines, about the relationship of Asuka and Shinji in the last movie and the ending and its implications in a more detailed way. I will use different analyses I have read so far besides mine, and you will find the links to all of them in the text. 

I have tried to maintain an analysis that followed the narrative plot and what I believe is closer to what the director wants to express. However, as Anno himself has said multiple times, his work may inspire different feelings in different people, so I understand where the differences might come from and, in no way, this is intended as a confrontation to other opinions and theories. 

Please, let me start with an introduction.

Introduction

While a lot has changed for me in these years, my view of A/S relationship in the whole Eva universe, including their dynamics, meaning, and canonical aspects have not changed. 

Long story short, A/S represent core aspects of the message Evangelion wants to transmit: The Hedgehog's dilemma, the fear of connecting and rejection while having a strong desire to be loved and understood, and finally, the pursuit of happiness. Asuka and Shinji are opposites on their outside and equals on their inside. A perfect match for exploring those issues.

RoE makes clear their similarities

Asuka and Shinji similarities

Evangelion arrives at a fulfilling conclusion at the end, showing us how it is possible to overcome the abovementioned problems. To depict that, it always involves resolving the different issues Asuka and Shinji have between them, becoming closer, opening to one another and, probably and eventually, staying together.

Evangelion portrays that resolution using scenes showing the exact moment of the change in A/S dynamics, the moment when both pursued real connection starts. What happens after that change is unknown, but the intention is clear: once they begin to make an effort, they have the chance to be happy together.

Before the release of 3.0+1.0, different spoilers and youtube video’s titles ruined my life, as I suppose that happened to some of you. It had such a significant impact on me that it is hard to define with words. Not because I was an angry asushin fanboy as some might classify me, but because, had it been confirmed, it would have meant that the message that Evangelion has been constructing since its first airing was shattered to pieces. I could not accept it.

At that specific moment, the Eva Extra Ex manga came and saved me.

Eva Extra Ex Manga Translated

I cannot highlight enough how important this manga was and still, it is. For me, it represented a call from Anno himself, saying: Do not worry, Evangelion is going to keep being Evangelion. I still recall the endless discussions on the internet when 3.0 came out about the effect of the time-skip, in what lousy state the relationship between Shinji and Asuka was (or if it was even inexistent!) and how Evangelion was going to transmit another message in the end. For me, there were always precise moments in 3.0 that pointed against those conclusions. But with Eva Extra, everything changed. It tied aspects of 2.0 and 3.0 very nicely and allowed us to discover more regarding Asuka's feelings and motivations.

With the first interaction in the manga between Asuka and Mari, we see that Asuka still has (deep) feelings for Shinji.  As the story progresses, we see how Asuka reacts to Mari's teasing and how unconvinced Mari is of all the bravado that she displays. A/S relationship, alongside their communication and hedgehog's dilemma related problems, still existed in the present timeline of the events of 3.0 and 3.0+1.0.

God's in his heaven all right with the world.

Chapter 1: The houses of healing

Instead of speaking of every Shinji/Asuka interaction scene, I will try to make this analysis lighter by talking about how it progresses across the film and focusing only on key scenes.

The film's first part explains how Shinji achieves healing after understanding how people around him are friendly, which is a big difference from EoE. In EoE, it was impossible. Shinji was left hurt and without any option to heal. He ultimately achieved healing through his experiences in instrumentality, leading to the ending and the hope/love message we all know in One More Final: I need you.

This process, this healing, happens in a precise location. That is the reason for the chapter's title. I took the liberty of naming this first chapter as the eighth chapter of Tolkien's book The Return of the King. But, what place is it?

Initially, Shinji is taken to Toji's house. While that place suits Rei, who will understand the basic meaning of life and being human, Shinji makes no progress there. Interestingly, Kensuke sees how Shinji is not making any progress and suggests he should go with him to his house. Why? It is driven by his new parental role, reminiscent of Kaji. He thinks why Shinji is in such a state and understand his needs at that moment. Besides, with or without knowing it, he reunites Shinji and Asuka under the same roof and the same parental figure.

I cannot say that he willingly wanted to reunite Shinji with Asuka, although I am sure he thought it was a direct consequence of carrying Shinji with him, so he was happy with that idea. As we know from 2.0 and the original series, their friends are the ones who notice Asuka and Shinji bond, so it would not be strange that Kensuke wanted to reunite both of them.

With or without Kensuke's will, bringing Shinji to Kensuke's house mirrors Misato's apartment, but with a male figure as the leader (i.e. A Kaji instead of Misato). It is a comeback to better times. Kensuke takes the parental figure for both Shinji and Asuka, as Misato did when Asuka moved in 2.0 for both children. This time, Asuka is the one who is already living there (previously it was Shinji), and Shinji is the one who arrives later.  In 3.0+1.0 Misato cannot fulfil her maternal role anymore, as explained later in the film (and redeemed at the end).

Let me linger on this parallel. In 2.0, when Asuka arrives at Misato's house and introduces Asuka to Shinji, we have the romantic comedy scene of the shower a few minutes later. The scene makes us understand that they feel some attraction to each other, albeit in a very early stage (and introduces PenPen to Asuka). Time forward, this first interaction is repeated in Kensuke's house. When Shinji arrives, he finds Asuka naked after having a shower. This time, no reaction is seen from either part explicitly. Neither Shinji nor Asuka blushed or overreacted, but Asuka clearly states her disappointment, which shows us her desire that Shinji reacted, that Shinji expressed attraction towards her. A significant line that adds up to all the previous evidence about Asuka's persistent feelings for Shinji. What about Shinji? There is a minor detail. When he sees Asuka naked, he stares at her with a glare that is just a mix of emotions. Although it is difficult to tell what he is thinking, Asuka is directly opposite him, and he can see both the DSS choker and her body. However, he only notices the choker when she wraps herself with a towel. Draw your conclusions.

From that point onwards, we get a few scenes representing the problem Asuka and Shinji have communicating and how alike they are. When Shinji throws up for the first time, Asuka explains to Kensuke why Shinji behaves like that and shuts himself off. However, she is doing the same, playing with her console. Asuka's video game is Shinji's SDAT.  Asuka hates the behaviour of Shinji because she sees her flaws in him.

Despite all the façade, she tries to communicate and help Shinji repeatedly in the coming scenes, checking on him on several occasions. Whenever she does that, the movie clearly shows us that she has abandoned her Shinji-like behaviour, showing us the console turned off.

Asuka and her videogame

The climax of their conflict is the force-feeding scene. But before analysing that scene, let me tell you a few more details.

I believe that the mirroring of Misato's apartment is portrayed through other details. For example, the name KenKen might have been chosen in honour of the missing companion from Misato's apartment: PenPen.

Furthermore, while some people might find odd the tendency of Asuka to be naked, this is driven by her disgust with her own body, which is shown in the Eva Extra manga. Finally, to enforce the idea that the relationship between Kensuke and Asuka is different from the one that she and Shinji have, it is essential to notice how Kensuke calls them. He calls them by their surnames, Shikiname and Ikari, placing distance between them.

Let's return to the force-feeding scene. In that scene, Asuka wants to help him, which is why she feeds him, and at the same time, she explains her frustration regarding the lack of reaction and understanding on his part. The conflict between them is portrayed similarly to the Eva 03 incident in 2.0

Visual comparison 1

Visual comparison 2

She is trying to understand him, and she tells him rather precisely why she thinks he is in such a state. She only wants him to reciprocate that understanding, and she wants him to think and explain why she punched him after seeing each other after 14 years. I must highlight the punch's importance. It summarises their communication problems, their conflict. Eva clarifies it in 3.0 using the same parallelisms as other communication problems, like Gendo and Shinji.

However, we know how she feels. The Eva extra manga gives us that insight. She has feelings for Shinji but hates his inaction due to his internal struggles. The hedgehog's spikes have been replaced by a punch. If they can talk about the punch, they will start communicating.

From an external view, Shinji reacts to being force-fed in a way that probably is not what Asuka wanted. Shinji leaves the house, followed secretly by Asuka, in another display of how Asuka feels internally.  It is another parallelism with Misato's apartment, again with a reversal of roles between Shinji and Asuka.

Parallelism

However, we will learn in future events that Shinji started to think about what Asuka told him at that moment, so he listened to her.From this point onwards, Shinji will deal with his thoughts and come to an understanding with himself. It is not achieved alone, but with the help of Rei and, although not directly, Asuka. She is the one who directs Rei to the place where Shinji is and continues checking on him to see that everything is going fine. She is there.

Asuka cares

When Shinji grows up and maturates, we have the first bidirectional communication attempt between Asuka and Shinji. While she asks Shinji if he feels better, he responds with only sounds. Yet, this is the first time they have tried to talk about their respective problems and emotions calmly. We will see this pattern repeat itself several times in the movie: Shinji grows a bit, and then Asuka opens herself another bit. It is very interesting to see Asuka's glare. Asuka is drawn with that glare whenever she is looking at Shinji in a positive/concerning him way. We will return to that later. Besides, she speaks to him without looking at her console.

All this healing process ends in a sentence that is easily overlooked. The night Kensuke is discussing with Asuka the plans to return to the Wunder, Shinji comes home and says, "I am home". It is the reflection of Shinji's complete healing. Thanks to his growth, he has found a new place where he belongs once more. It let us understand why he will consider that this place is important for Asuka too. Both have suffered the same parental love deprivation, lacking a place where they truly belong. Finding a place that they can call home is part of their way to happiness and usually happens before both connect.

The film also let us see how Shinji heals, comparing it with the healing of one of the village's dogs

Now, Shinji is ready to go with Asuka to the Wunder and start a transformative journey for himself and those around him. But first, let me post a few more details, some of which I had not noticed until doing some research on the internet:

Visual comparisons that highlight the similar role of Kensuke as Kaji (Parental role)

2. Asuka's scarf to hide her DSS choker.

3. The possible futon share between Asuka and Shinji, showing how she cares about him.

Chapter 2: A trip in the Wunder

The most relevant scene for their relationship in the Wunder is Asuka's confession. However, there are a couple of interesting interactions before that. The first one is the display of Asuka's jealousy of Sakura when she sees her interaction with Shinji, saying, "Are you his wife?"

The second one happens when Asuka meets Mari. While loaded with fanservice, this interaction is not trivial. Mari's teasing is an essential element in the Rebuild series, even more knowing how important the character of Mari will become at the end. She seems to be aware of Asuka's real feelings, and we know from the Eva extra manga that she tries to push Shinji and Asuka together, which I will come back to later. Asuka replies to Mari's teasing that Shinji "does not need a lover, he needs a mother". This sentence is a double edge sword. First, it shows Asuka's interest in Shinji as a romantic partner, given her deception, and actually, Asuka is saying this sentence while she is playing the videogame, so probably she is hiding her feelings, shutting herself oof the world as Shinji used to do. Second, it shows the problems they face: Communication and maturity. Maturity, because Asuka feels that Shinji has not changed as she has had, and communication, because as we will soon know, Asuka also wants that figure in her life. However, it is not true that Shinji has not grown up. It is just that they have not tried to communicate again, and thus, she does not know about Shinji's recent developments

Everything will change when Asuka faces the reality of possible death. Before the "final battle", she decides to reach out for Shinji. After Mari introduces herself to Shinji in an awkward way that will be important in the ending, Asuka repeats her question. In reality, she asks if he has thought about her, how she feels and everything she has gone through. To Asuka's surprise, Shinji answers the question, blaming his inaction. Taking this as a partial sign of maturity and growth, Asuka starts opening herself, although not wholly, a sign that Shinji's answer might not have been entirely correct. Besides, her body language is similar to the previous lift scenes in Evangelion, where we know she hid her real emotions.

She will equal what to tell Shinji to Shinji's growth. Therefore, she explains to him how she liked him 14 years ago, but not how she feels now. Furthermore, she leaves before Shinji can reply to her statement, leaving Shinji staring back at her through the glass. So, it is Mari again who makes us understand that this has been a sign of communication that goes in the right direction. She congratulates Shinji and stimulates him to continue like this. Again, Mari is trying to solve Asuka and Shinji's problems. Mari says goodbye in Chinese to Shinji (perhaps, a way to tell us that the spell of goodbye works, as they meet again later) and goes to do the same with Asuka, asking her if she feels better. Mari is trying to make Asuka see that opening herself to Shinji will bring happiness to her too.

Nevertheless, we must not forget that the short confession happened because Asuka thought this might have been the end. In a sense, it almost was.

Chapter 3: I need you

This chapter starts after Shinji and Gendo have resolved their issues. As I explained before, the need of resolving their parental matters will be critical to both Shinji and Asuka. The same happened in EoE. Asuka gets to know her mother in her battle against the mass-produced Eva, and Shinji learns about his father's plans and mother during instrumentality. After those experiences and their other interactions through instrumentality, they arrive at the I need you scene where they open to each other.

Gendo gets off the train, and the control of instrumentality is handed over to Kaworu. While Gendo was willing to sacrifice everything for his sake, the growth of Shinji reaches its maximum at this point. Shinji decides to take the reversal role of his father. Even if he is heartbroken or it is a hard and not a pleasant experience, he wants to help Asuka and those who were nice to him. This is the transformative journey that Shinji accomplishes in RoE that marks a completely different path from NGE+EoE.

I worded the sentence highlighting Asuka because those are the literal words of Shinji, naming Asuka as an individual and using the Japanese word "minna" for the rest, which could be the rest of his friends or even the rest of humanity. Shinji has learnt that he must give without seeking anything in return. He must stop thinking about himself only. He is going to help their friends without any positive repercussions on himself. As he later will explain, he plans to rewrite the world with the new spear given by Misato to get rid of the Evas and what they represent, stopping the cycle of suffering that comes with them, and let their friends live a happy life.

Symbolism of the spear

Interestingly, he does not explain this to Asuka and only mentions it to Rei, with some hesitation, which is what prompts him to tell her that Mari would come for him eventually. That behaviour is because for getting rid of the Eva and rewriting the world, he needs to impale himself with the spear inside Eva 01. While we do not know for sure the effects on Shinji, the way it is portrayed resembles a willing sacrifice, a person opening himself to that terrible outcome for a better benefit for their friends. Besides, we must not forget that the sync rate of Shinji with his Eva was infinite at that time, so probably the expected outcome would be the death of the pilot and he knew about that.

This situation is what gives us an essential context for understanding Shinji's actions. As Asuka earlier, he also thought that he might not return. But let’s see what happens with Asuka and Shinji.

The first to be saved is Asuka. As some sort of guardian for Asuka (and Shinji, and even Asuka/Shinji relationship), Mari reminds Shinji before he leaves her entry plug in the anti-universe that he has to find her. And he does.

There are many iconic and meaningful landscapes in Evangelion. Still, none of them has the symbolism, meaning, emotional associations and beauty as the beach where Shinji and Asuka laid at the EoE has. Although it is not the same beach and there are different details, the scene's meaning is clear. It was the scenario of One More Final: I need you. Thus, the location evokes that meaning, where Shinji and Asuka connected and expressed their emotions and feelings in EoE. To increase and highlight that intention, the first shot we have of the landscape is a full white moon, a remnant from the N3I. The moon has always been a poetic figure for love, and it brightens the sand creating the white beach. It is the perfect scenario to share an intimate moment.

Then, a saved, Eva curse-free Asuka awakes. The first sentence references the fact that the curse of Eva is lifted, and she can sleep. As some people detail, the plugsuit is a combination of different ones. This phenomenon will repeatedly happen in the anti-universe. Long story short, as I do not want to enter the terrain of the time loops and different universes, I believe that the idea behind that symbolism is that Evangelion is a multiverse. The anti-universe might somehow connect them, and we can see them. However, the characters remain the same from the universe where they come from. Only those annotated in the book of life remember those other universes or RoE time-loops (which seem to affect only the RoE universe and seem not to be confirmed in the other universes), and probably, as Shinji is in charge of the flow of events, the bleeding in his memories is what drives those changes.

The fact that Asuka wears a plugsuit that is a combination of previous ones, does not mean that she is Soryu or several Asukas at the same time. She is Shikinami, and it is the first time that she is on that beach. Her background and memories are from the RoE timeline, as she does not express, as Shinji will do later, any perception of that phenomenon. The same goes for their location. While they are on a similar beach, it is not the same where Soryu and Shinji found themselves in EoE. It is probably the bleeding of details between universes that wraps the metanarrative message that gives importance to the scenery (that beach is where they connected and accepted each other both in EoE and in this movie, and the place will always symbolise that)

Even those aware of other timelines (Kaworu and Shinji at that point) can only remember that they met before or have a déjà vu feeling. They do not have a complete insight into what happened. I think that this bleeding of details gives an important message: All the universes of Evangelion exist. Soryu and Shinji's story from NGE and EOE has happened, albeit in another universe, part of a larger multiverse. In a sense, it is saying that NGE+EoE is as canon as RoE, something essential to maintain coherency. The difference is that they happen in different physical planes of space and time.

Let's return to the fact that a grown Asuka is on the beach. The camera plays, repeating the same shots as in EoE, linking both scenes thematically again. Moreover, the visual links expands to other couples in Eva.

Here, Shinji sits next to Asuka, with his arms around his legs and a completely different gaze, making clear Shinji is happy to see her. The events follow this path:

Asuka sees Shinji next to her and calls him "Baka Shinji" in a not mean way. A way that shows us that despite calling him "Baka Shinji" time and time again, that did not mean that she truly hated him.

Shinji verbalises his happiness to see her again and says thanks to her for letting him know her feelings previously.

Shinji reciprocates the same feelings, using the past tense. Why? Well, at least this time is more straightforward than explaining why he choked her.  Shinji has several reasons for this: First, it directly answers what Asuka told him earlier. And second, he wants to save and return her to the Eva free world, and thus, knowing that he might not return, hides his current feelings.

Asuka is surprised that her feelings are reciprocated. She blushes and turns to her left, hiding her real feelings at that moment to Shinji. In the next shot, we see a happy, blushed Asuka smiling.

The reaction of Asuka and all the previous evidence from the movie and the manga make it evident that she still has feelings for him. With his body language, Shinji is also transmitting to us that he is hiding his true feelings. Besides, a past tense confession for Shinji makes no sense at all. Shinji has been sleeping those 14 years. For him, those moments where "he liked" Asuka are only a few weeks or months ago from this moment on the beach.  We will get the last evidence that Shinji still has feelings for Asuka, thanks to Kaworu. He, who is aware of all the timelines and universes, asks Shinji if he will feel lonely letting Asuka go. Shinji, with the same body language and a sad face, says no. We must link Shinji's behaviour to the fact I explained earlier. Shinji wanted to sacrifice himself for the happiness of Asuka and everybody.

This links with another idea. The scene is fast-paced. Once Shinji confesses his feelings, he says goodbye to Asuka and the Kensuke sentence. While this might be a reminiscence of Asuka's behaviour in the Wunder, allowing him to avoid any reply, that would have made things more difficult. However, his words are carefully chosen. We know from Rei's experiences in the village that "goodbye, is a spell of magic to see each other again. Despite his plans, Shinji's wish is to see her again

The meaning of goodbye

Then we have the Kensuke sentence. I wanted to talk about this in a simple way. Asuka needed the same parental role as Shinji, and through her experiences in instrumentality, she finds that she has that part of herself fulfilled by Kensuke. However, things get complicated if we start to notice some details. The fact that Kensuke calls Asuka "Asuka" instead of Shikinami and that the doll with Kensuke inside of it appears in the Rei scene has raised concerns that the Kensuke who appears in Asuka's instrumentality scenes is in fact Shinji, helping Asuka to find her place in a future world without him. In more detail:

All Asuka's scenes in instrumentality revolve around Shinji, nothing from Kensuke. It seems that Shinji wants to revert that and makes her conscious that she can find a place to belong and the parental role she needs, especially taking into consideration that he was about to die.

Instrumentality scenes comparison

She verbalises that she has no place to belong yet (despite living with Kensuke for some time), so Shinji wants to clarify that point for her.

It answers why Kensuke calls her Asuka and not Shikinami and why the doll appears again in Rei's scenes on the stage. Furthermore, it connects Asuka's memories with the beach scene, as it is after Kensuke says, "Asuka is Asuka" that she wakes up next to Shinji.

The original source of the theory for me was this video

In the end, from Asuka's instrumentality to the end of the beach scene, Shinji wants her to understand that she has a place to belong alongside the parental figure that she needs and that she is also loved by him, although he is going to let her go for her benefit. A true act of selflessness given his feelings. That is heart-warming and an actual act of love on his part.

Then, something happens amid the fast-paced scenes. The camera shows Asuka with an open mouth, sleeping(?) and Mari next to her. Wait. When did Mari come in? Why? I am not sure of the answers to these questions. It shows that Mari is more than we thought and has more knowledge about the anti-universe and what is happening. We do not know if this scene happens just after Shinji’s words or something has happened in the middle, as Asuka's expression seems not to match the last we see from her. Is there a deleted scene in the middle? Mari says her goodbye to Asuka. Mari has been a bridge between Shinji and Asuka and a close friend to her. In some sense, and continuing the parallelisms between Shinji and Asuka, she has been her Kaworu

Interestingly, Mari only appears to say bye to Asuka and not Rei or Kaworu. At the same time, Shinji only says sayonara to Asuka, the only character that does not have a handshake and a shutter closed. While there is no definitive answer to this fact, I believe it is crucial regarding the ending, as it will establish a continuity between the goodbyes and future gatherings, all directed by Mari, and that is why she appears probably (and she might be the one ejecting Asuka’s entry plug)

After Mari's take care, Asuka wakes up in the entry plug and is ejected by Unit 13. It is important to note that Asuka leaves without any kind of voluntary movement. She awakes in different locations and is the Eva 13 who ejects her. We do not know Asuka’s opinion about this at any time, or how she feels about being saved leaving Shinji behind.

Chapter 4: The sacrifice is stopped

After Kaworu and Rei's scenes, which I am not going to talk about, Shinji decides to carry out the Neon Genesis. We get to the moment where he is ready to sacrifice himself, in some sort of redemption of humanity's sins for creating the Evas and all the suffering that accompanied them. But then, Yui appears.

She stops the spear, protecting Shinji, and takes him out of the Eva 01. Yui’s wish is that he can live in that Neon Genesis world where the Evangelions do not exist, where people, and Shinji, can be happy. This moment changes everything. The plot twist will allow Shinji and Evangelion to have a happy and hopeful ending, thanks to Yui's (+/- Mari) plan.

The sacrifice of Shinji's parents for the sake of their child redeems them from the emotional deprivation Shinji has endured all his life. Shinji, mimicking the last instrumentality scene in EoE, returns to the anti-universe, now alone.

Chapter 5: Mari to the rescue

Shinji waits patiently on a blue water beach. Slowly, he starts to fade away in the anti-universe, as there are no others to relate with. This concept was explored both in EoE and at the end of the TV series. Then, Mari comes with her Evangelion to rescue him and take him back to the real world, now the Eva-free world, as promised to Misato. This is very important, as it highlights that Shinji is not going to a parallel universe. He is returning to the same world where his friends are (Asuka for sure, Kaworu will meet him again too, and Rei, honestly, it is not so obvious where she decides to go in her scenes, but probably too)

Mari's last Evangelion is important too. Contrary to Kaworu and Rei, I believe it is how Mari and Shinji returned to the ordinary world (probably with its entry plug, like Asuka). We might never know that. Then, the next scene is the opposite scene from Asuka in the entry plug, but with Shinji. Now we see an adult Shinji in a train station.

There are different questions to answer to understand what is happening in the ending. However, I think that the film's conclusion is the same regardless of the answer to those questions.The questions are:

Is the train scene set in the AU or in the real world?

Are Mari and Shinji the people we see coming out from the station?

Did Asuka arrive at Kensuke’s house or is she present there if that is the real world?

I tried to sum up the different theories in simple pictures.

 My personal opinion just after watching the movie was that the first scenario was the most likely. However, after seeing different analyses, I am not 100% convinced and I cannot give my support to other theoriesyet. 

The sources for the other theories are these

And the fact that the pilots might be illusions come from here 

As you can see, regardless of the answer to the questions from above, they always end up meeting again. While this is not explicitly shown in the movie, I strongly believe it is the reason why Mari appears at the end scene. Mari is the beacon light that will guide him in this new world, and there is a lot of visual comparisons that prove this fact, comparing Mari to Misato, and knowing the role of Mari in Gendo and Yui’s life. Furthermore, a lot of people consider that the fact that Asuka is alone in the platform is a sign that she is there to be reunited with Shinji, as she has no partner and seems to be playing with something like her old videogame. All of this is enough evidence to stop thinking about this ending as “Shinji choosing Mari to live a happier life” or “to let go the past”.

Comparison

The role of Mari in Yui/Gendo life. A hint in her possible role with Asuka/Shinji

Mari and Shinji, Mari and Gendo, the same fate.

I am sure that Mari will reunite Asuka and Shinji. She has been a bridge between them since 3.0, and the Eva Extra manga gives more insight into that respect. Besides, she did the same with Yui and Gendo, and there are a lot of comparisons between Yui/Gendo and Asuka/Shinji in a visual way throughout the series.You will find Asuka glancing at Shinji with the same face and eyes expression as Yui did. 

We have talked about this before. 

While it would be interesting to know exactly how Shinji arrives there, the narrative conclusion that they will meet again, independently of what has happened to the world, will not change. This resonates with the title of the movie "thrice upon a time", as evidenced here. 

There have been multiple Evangelion universes, both with and without Evas (EoE ends with a world without Evas, as the manga does) and in all of them, all of them, Asuka and Shinji meet again. And this is really important, as now they can communicate and have the chance of growing together and be happy.

Conclusion

Asuka and Shinji are two sides of the same coin, with different defence strategies in the context of the hedgehog's dilemma. Despite their mutual attraction, they are incapable of communicating and reaching each other. In EoE, it took almost the end of the world and humanity to understand that it is thanks to not living with the fear of pain and rejection that we can understand and accept others, ultimately overcoming the hedgehog's dilemma. This is expressed by the caress of Asuka to Shinji in EoE. This loving gesture shows us that the characters start understanding each other and have the chance to be happy together. EoE ending is a message of love and hope.

A/S relationship will represent this conflict wherever they are portrayed, in a cycle of desire/attraction, which leads to conflict and a resolution with understanding and love once they learn to accept each other and start communicating. In EoE is quite visual and displays both of them together at the very end. The manga is less explicit and more hinted at, but the scene at the train depicts how they connect in that new world where they will understand each other.

Thrice upon a time is not an exception to this rule. The last scene of EoE and the manga that involves Asuka and Shinji is the moment they connect, communicate, and change the way they treat each other. In 3.0+1.0 their final scene together is the beach scene, where they confess their mutual feelings in what is a never seen before sincerity and openness between them. Then, a world without Eva is created (in EoE this is exemplified by the crucified Eva and in the manga is more similar to the movie) and we know that Mari will guide Shinji to a safe return to that Eva free world and a gathering with Asuka and his friends. Despite not appearing on screen, all the narrative of the movie, and the whole of Evangelion, makes us understand that they will understand each other more and more and will be more honest towards their feelings, giving them the chance of being happy. As a consequence of that, the leitmotif of Evangelion is repeated once more.

The message of 3.0+1.0 is not about letting go of the past because you have grown up or let it go to move forward. The message is that it is thanks to going through those good and bad experiences that life gifts us, accepting the chance of suffering pain, that we can mature and learn. This learning will make us understand ourselves and those who surround us more, making us love ourselves and others, having, ultimately, the chance of being happy, loved and finding a place to belong to.

And it is in the middle of this struggle, that the love story of Asuka and Shinji shines, reminding us that humans can connect and be happy. 

If they can overcome their problems, so will us.

Everybody finds love in the end.

One More Conclusion: Where is Anno's wife?

What a ride! I think I have written about almost all of Shinji and Asuka's interactions, perhaps leaving just a few ones at the beginning of the movie, and without the mention of Anno as Shinji or his wife as Mari in all the essay! While extremely popular, the theory that Mari represents his wife has many flaws and I still do not understand where it is based. From the character being designed without the supervision of Hideaki Anno to the direct denial from his wife, including that the theory does not match the narrative plot. While self-insertions and story developments related to personal experiences are not rare in storytelling, we cannot explain everything in Evangelion by metanalysis. While Anno's struggles with depression have shaped NGE+EoE, the development and growth of the characters in their own arcs are what matter when analysing them. Shinji might be inspired by his awful experience at that time, but as we said earlier, Asuke is shaped like Shinji, albeit with different behaviour. Therefore, we should accept that both of them are depictions of Anno and not only the masculine figure.

In the end, it is Shinji who rejects instrumentality, returns to the real world and is caressed by Asuka in EoE. The characters do that, not Anno. The same happens in this last scene. While the location of the train station and city is totally related to the director, what is going to happen to the characters in the context of the plot is an important thing to consider when analysing them.

From NGE+EoE to this last movie Shinji grows and understands the path to be happy always.  This is not exclusive of the RoE saga because Anno has overcome his problems. Therefore, conclusions such as "now Anno is happier, so he wants Shinji to be happy" are not supported. What changed in RoE is that the growth of Shinji happens prior to the last impact and instrumentality, instead of growing after those experiences. This allows the portrayal of a lighter version of Shinji in those dramatic moments, resembling more a traditional hero who saves his friends, instead of letting them down and then coming to an understanding all together (because everyone shares a slice of the guilt cake) in instrumentality.

I believe that it would be more fruitful if we took into consideration his wife's work in the way that this tweet states, rather than engage ourselves in discussions about meta self-insertions.

I hope my words have helped those who felt like me after the release of the movie.

Thank you very much for all your time reading this.

[nnightskiess]

𝐳𝐨𝐲𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

₊° - 𝐳𝐨𝐲𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

₊° - 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: y/n isn't too keen on letting zoya go on her journey through the fold and arrives at the encampment late at night to ease her worries.

please do not copy, republish, translate or reproduce this imagine on wattpad or on other platforms. respect the author's work <3

when word got round in the little palace that a spot for a grisha healer in the second army opened up for the supply run through the fold, y/n wasted no time and offered to go. they had applauded her for her willingness and bravery, but all y/n could think about was seeing that one gorgeous sqauller again, who quite literally blew her away the moment they first met.

zoya nazyalensky's striking blue eyes had captivated y/n the moment they locked with hers and hadn't it been for the squaller looking away, y/n was sure she'd still be lost in them. y/n deemed zoya to be one of the prettiest girls in os olta and the little palace combined, but her beauty was not the only thing about her that had made y/n unable to get the girl out of her head.

zoya was a squaller, a grisha able to manipulate the wind and air, but zoya also possessed a big fire in her belly, one that was almost always quite present. it helped her to the top, but was also one of the qualities that had a tendency to make her intimidating or feared. y/n however, looked right through it and never stepped back whenever zoya would raise her voice or squint her eyes just long enough for other grisha to leave her alone. and exactly that had caught zoya's attention.

training was going terrible, the new squallers seemed to lack the confidence and passion that was needed for combat training. botkin had been so frustrated that he let some of the older grisha take the task and train them. y/n had watched from the sides as zoya visibly grew more annoyed at the youngsters and bit her lip when that same frustration finally caught up with her,

"enough! come back when you're worthy of wearing that kefta or don't show your face again!" she sent a large gush of air their way, making everyone's kefta's blow up in the wind before she turned around, letting out a quick breath through her nose.

y/n approached, a tiny smirk on her face. she'd waited to the sides to see how long it would take to crack the girl's patience. zoya wasn't a quitter, but her tough love seemed to worsen the children's performances even more.

zoya felt a presence behind her and turned around with a sneer as she sent another wave of wind behind her.

"i said-"

y/n was sent against the wall before she landed on the earth with a thud.

zoya tried to hide her initial surprise and gave the girl a once over, tilted her chin and crossed her arms, "what do you want?" she wasn't in the mood to apologize and kept her arms crossed, not even bothering to help the girl up.

y/n dusted her kefta off and tried to delay her reply, which she knew was frustrating zoya even more. y/n finally looked up, a cheeky smile on her face as she spoke,

"you could be sent away for that... we aren't allowed to use our powers here, did you forget?"

"look around- do you see anyone here?"

zoya was right- most boys and girls had silently left the training facility after zoya's outburst and botkin was probably downing a glass of kvas to drink away his frustrations of the day.

"because you scared them all away."

zoya put her nose up in disdain and turned back around- she didn't have time for this cocky know-it-all girl. she rolled her eyes as y/n followed her around the courtyard, getting slightly annoyed,

"i'm not sure if you have it in you, but maybe next time try and ease up on the tough love? be kind for a chance?"

"it's not what works best. do you think they'll be coddled when they're part of the second army? you healers are too sensitive. you should consider changing that or this world is going to eat you up."

"too sensitive?" y/n tried to hide the hurt in her voice and shook it off, "you don't know the injuries i've had to heal, the pain and gore i've seen. you should consider changing your mind on healers. without us, we'd be off way worse."

zoya had been annoyed at y/n's challenging rebuttal at first, but would later realise it wasn't out of lack of respect that y/n didn't seem to falter under her hard glares, it was because of the intrigue and adoration she held for her. if she backed down like all the others, she would never get a chance to break down zoya's walls.

eyerolls out of annoyance faded into playful eyerolls and zoya quickly realised that y/n would be one of those people her superiors had told her about all those years ago when she was first brought to the little palace. in order to not succumb to the stress of being a grisha, let alone one in the second army, one needs companions. companions you trust to have your back, companions to share your worries with and companions to help you see the light in difficult situations, even in the dark of the fold. and a loyal companion y/n became.

zoya was less hostile to the healer than she was to anyone else and people soon caught on. to not lose her air of intimidation, she tried to keep her soft smiles to a minimum and playfully pestered y/n whenever she could- even though no one but the two knew it was playful- only to get a joking sneer back in return, which never failed to crack the tiniest grin on the squaller's face.

"why do you look ready to leave?" y/n suddenly appeared in the doorway of zoya's suite. "planning to run away?" she joked but her worries grew as zoya didn't reply.

zoya didn't look up and instead continued to prepare her bag. y/n noticed that she was wearing the good luck charm she'd given the girl to wear whenever she had to go on a difficult or risky mission. a silent promise to both, if you will, to make sure whatever would happen would turn out alright. y/n's smile faltered,

"where are they sending you off to?"

"kribirsk, i'm going to help sail the skiff for a supply run to ketterdam."

"you're going through the fold?!" y/n took haste steps into the room and stopped right behind zoya, "why haven't i heard about this?! when are you supposed to cross it?!"

zoya let out a sigh and looked up, her hands placed on her hips, "stop it. i'll be fine," she went back to folding her clothes, "you know it's not my first time."

"no, but every time might as well be your last!"

y/n pulled at zoya's arm to make her stop, the squaller immediately glared at her. she hated when y/n became worried, it always intensified the worries she was already feeling herself, even if she would never tell anyone.

"i'll be fine, i promise."

"what happens there isn't really up to you... besides, i just don't like sitting here and waiting in agony for a word from you telling me you survived."

zoya finally gave in, she couldn't hold up her front any longer as she looked into y/n's worried eyes. she let out a deep sigh and rubbed her forehead before her hands dropped to her neck. she grabbed the talisman and held it up, "this'll protect me."

"zoya, it's not some-"

"no. it will. you said it would. i trust you. now, will you trust me? i'll be back before you know it." zoya softly stroked y/n's cheek with the back of her finger, something she did when the girl needed reassurance and comfort. "i'll come back, y/n."

the two women stared at each other for a long time, exchanging silent promises. but y/n's sudden movement caught zoya off guard, and before she could realise the girl had softly planted her lips against her own, y/n had already retreated.

"write to me."

zoya nodded absentmindedly, her head still stuck in the moment before.

"-and you better come back in one piece, nazyalensky."

zoya nodded again, this time less distracted, and she pulled y/n back when the girl made a move to walk out before planting a soft kiss on the girl's cheek.

"i will. or else you'll just have to patch me up again."

but zoya's nerves proved to be more difficult to contain now that y/n wasn't around, even if the girl had a tendency to sometimes make them worse with her worries. she knew she had promised to write, but what was she going to write down? how scared she really was? what would that do to calm y/n's nerves- both their nerves? not to mention that the confident squaller had felt insecure ever since their tiny kiss. was she supposed to write a different letter? was y/n expecting her to? or were they still just friends? or would it only upset y/n if she wrote to her like friends would?

so, zoya thought it was best to just not write at all, to spare both their feelings. but y/n, who had been waiting for a letter in the little palace, had gone mad after a few days. she hadn't received a letter noting zoya's arrival, neither had zoya written her one to tell her when the journey to west-ravka would take place. she felt awfully left in the dark, even if she knew the second army had arrived at the encampment through a general at the palace, she needed to hear it from zoya. or had she scared the squaller off? was the girl regretting their moment? had she lost zoya completely now, even as a friend? she needed to know.

the only worries she felt when the horses pulled the carriage over the roads to the encampment, were the worries about zoya, not about the voyage she was going to have to take through the darkness. after all, she'd have zoya by her side, who would undoubtedly try to protect her if needed, who could calm her down with just a look her way, just like how y/n would be there to heal and support if the situation asked for it.

y/n was assigned a tent with the other corporalki, but could care less about settling in for a good night's sleep. she needed to find zoya's tent first. she needed to see her at least once before setting foot on the ship the next morning.

the torches lit up the campsite and created eerie shadows on the surrounding tents, sometimes even forming into a shadow that looked way too similar to the volcra whose screams and cries filled the air now and then. y/n shook it off and walked along.

she finally heard zoya's familiar soft voice behind a tent's fabric to her left and a guy clad in the clothes of a tracker walked out a few seconds later. it slightly confused y/n, but she walked to the entrance of the now pitch black tent nonetheless.

"zoya?" she whispered out softly, still a bit unsure if she'd actually been right about hearing the girl's voice. what if this was someone else's tent?

"anyone here?" she called again, her eyes now slightly adjusting to the lack of light. a shadow moved to her left before she fell to her knees as all the air in her lungs disappeared. someone had her in a headlock.

"zoya! it's me! it's me, y/n!" she coughed and heaved, clawing at her throat for air. she heard the squaller gasp as fresh air filled her lungs once again. a candle was lit a second after, which barely illuminated the tent, but enough for zoya to see her friend on the floor.

"what are you doing here?!" she hissed, her panic replaced by anger almost instantly, anger that stemmed out of worry for the girl. y/n being there could only mean one thing...

"i had to see you." y/n accepted the help of zoya and was put to sit on the girl's bed. "you promised you'd write... why didn't you?"

zoya ignored the question and fired a question of her own the healer's way, "why are you here? i doubt they let you go without a reason."

y/n refused to make eye contact, but zoya refused to give in and forcefully grabbed the girl's chin. y/n expected to see the squaller's eyebrows knitted together in anger or worry, or both, and a sneer on her face, but was instead met with a look she couldn't quite place, one she barely ever saw. if y/n wanted an answer, she would have to answer zoya first.

"they needed a healer."

"on the supply run?"

y/n nodded meekly but kept looking at zoya's features, trying to decipher what she was thinking.

"y/n, you shouldn't have... not after-"

"i know. i know i had to watch my friends get torn apart last time, while i sat there and couldn't help all of them at once, i know- but zoya- if something were to happen to you and i wouldn't be able to at least try and help you out, i would never be able to let it go."

zoya's grasp on y/n's chin loosened until she finally let go and dropped her hands on her lap. but they didn't feel right there so she immediately grabbed onto one of y/n's, giving it a light squeeze.

"you didn't write to me. that usually means you're either worried and don't want to worry me or... well... after, you know... i thought you might've..."

zoya squeezed again, telling the girl she didn't need to talk further, she knew exactly what she meant.

"i know something has shifted between us, but i don't regret it. that wasn't why i didn't write...well, it was." she continued when y/n rose an eyebrow in confusion, "i was afraid you might've regretted it."

"no, i-"

"it doesn't matter, you shouldn't have come." zoya's walls were back up again in a snap of her fingers and she let go and sat up, immediately shielding herself from whatever rejection about to come her way.

"zoya-"

"it's probably best if we both get some rest."

y/n looked to see if zoya was slightly joking but pursed her lips together when she saw the girl's blank face.

"fine." the healer jumped up and stormed out of the tent, throwing the entrance drape shut so harshly that the tiny candle went out, which left zoya by herself in the dark of the night. at least it would let her get used to the dark that was waiting for her on the end of the encampment.

y/n buttoned and unbuttoned her crimson kefta multiple times, a nervous habit of hers, but kept them buttoned when the horn indicated it was time to go. had it been worth it? offering to cross the fold just to talk to zoya? only for her to get the cold shoulder? no. but at least now she was able to protect the girl.

she walked onto the sandskiff along with other grisha and, this time, cartographers, and immediately locked eyes with zoya, who was already stationed at the front. zoya looked regal, standing there, with her chin held high and her hands behind her back, almost as if she owned the sandskiff. to others, she might've looked cocky, but not to y/n.

zoya's eyes inspected everyone who walked onto the ship and thus also landed on y/n's. but, while she'd lightly glared at everyone, her glare softened when she looked at her friend. she dipped her head in acknowledgement. what y/n didn't know, was that while zoya had tried her best to pretend that y/n wouldn't be going on the supply run, seeing her step onto the skiff had broken that fairytale thought and had made her slightly break out an uneasy sweat. y/n's talisman was hidden under her kefta, but zoya could still feel it pressing against her chest. it calmed her down a little, but not enough, certainly not when the ship started moving and y/n was not on the docks staying behind.

screeches and yells of those terrible beasts were the first things to welcome them into the fold before the clear morning sky finally turned black and the air turned cold. the volcra sounded distant though, so as long as they kept quiet and in the dark, there wouldn't be a reason to panic.

zoya glanced y/n's way every now and then. even if there still wasn't trouble in the air, she just needed to reassure herself that the girl was okay. same for y/n- she kept glancing to the front of the skiff to see zoya's eyes illuminate in the blue of the tiny lantern. zoya's eyes never failed to calm her down, but looking into them now brought her even greater comfort. or discomfort...if she thought long enough about what happened last time she crossed the fold.

the wind howled, the wooden skiff creaked and thunder filled the sky. the occasional lightning lit up their surroundings and showed the shipwrecks from previous supply runs, a great reminder to everyone on board that they should count themselves lucky if they survived this crossing.

"marker one...."

"how many more are there?" a cartographer girl dared to ask and y/n closed her eyes, knowing the answer wouldn't satisfy her.

"thirty-seven."

y/n's hands clasped around the sleeves of her kefta as she hugged herself. only twelve more markers and she'd reach the place where it all happened last time.

barely one marker later and the growling and screeching sounds of the approaching volcra made everyone tense up. one volcra made a close appearance, which made everyone either duck or ready their guns. it was eerily silent after that. y/n tried not to look at the frightened faces of everyone else and instead tried to count, but that proved to make her even more nervous after another volcra screeched nearby- they weren't going fast enough.

zoya felt suffocated when the blue lantern, which was meant to be their little safe haven during their crossing, dimmed. however, the real panic set in when it became pitch black and she lost all sight of y/n. the deck suddenly lit up by the orange hue of a lantern one cartographer boy had set alight in panic, which illuminated y/n's pretty face with an orange tint, but zoya was anything but relieved. this wasn't a good thing. at all.

"blow it out! what are you doing?!"

all hell broke loose when the lantern attracted volcra, who were now surrounding the sandskiff, flying over it to wait for the perfect opportunity to catch their prey. if that wasn't bad enough, the lantern had fallen over and a small fire was starting to eat away at the wooden deck, making it even harder for everyone on board to hide. people were being picked up by the creatures and all y/n seemed to be able to do was freeze. last time she'd been running from left to right to try and help aid the people on board, but even when she had prepared herself for this outcome this time, no muscle in her body seemed to want to move. she didn't know what hurt her ears more- the gunshots, the screeching of those terrible monsters or the agonizing yells from the people on deck. one thing stood out through those yells- a pained yelp coming from no other than zoya made her head shoot up to where she thought she'd heard it.

zoya had watched y/n tense up from her side of the ship and was well aware that past memories were probably troubling her mind, making her unable to get to work. all worries or insecurities were thrown out the window once she realised she needed to keep y/n safe. a volcra had dived to pick her up right as she made a move to run to the healer, but a shove from one of the other grisha had saved her life. her shoulder broke the fall and one of her hands met the flames, making her cry out in pain.

this did the trick and burst the healer's bubble. y/n crawled across the deck, trying to stay as low as possible, and gritted her teeth whenever she came too close to the fire and the heat became painful. zoya noticed her approach and tried to move closer too, only to grasp her shoulder in pain.

"ssssh, i'm here, i'm here, let me-" y/n stammered in a panic as she looked at the damage. she gently stroke her fingers over zoya's burns first. zoya threw her head back at the initial pain and incredibly annoying itch that followed, but let out a shaky chuckle out of relief when the pain subdued before eventually fading away.

they weren't out of danger yet and the volcra hovering above them proved exactly why. zoya's eyes widened as she watched it approach over y/n's shoulder and she pulled the girl on top of her in a tight embrace. the movement made her grit her teeth in pain, her shoulder still hurt like hell, but at least the volcra had missed this chance. she saw it circle around, waiting to pounce once more. she reached for the gun beside her when it turned around, ready for another try. but zoya didn't give it one and directed a shot at its chest, which caught the beast off guard and gave the perfect opportunity to one of the escorts on the ship to finish him off with another shot.

"are you alri-"

"go! get inside!" zoya gently pushed the girl off of her again.

"you're hurt, let me-"

"i need to help send this skiff back. go!"

"it'll only be-"

"we don't have time! i can handle a broken shoulder but i will never forgive myself if something happened to you!" zoya yelled back over the chaos and was supported by another squaller who pulled her to the other side of the deck. y/n sat there, baffled. a harsh force of wind made y/n's hair blow up and the ship started to move again. a young man, one of their escorts, ran up to her, pulled her on her feet and guided her inside.

there she sat, waiting, while a mix of screams, screeches, thunder and gunshots made for a horrifying mix of sounds, while she couldn't do a thing, while zoya was bait up there...

a light so bright beamed through the cracks and holes of the wood and even from her cover, y/n had to shield her eyes.

silence. complete, utter silence. no more volcra, no more shouting or gunshots needed. the wind that the squallers created to send them back home was a comforting sound to y/n's ears and it was all she wanted to focus on as she knew they were going back.

the darkness soon turned to light again. the sky had changed back and was filled with puffy clouds as the air grew more pleasant to inhale. they were back, they were safe. but still, y/n kept seated, not wanting to go out and see the damage. not again.

yes, the sandskiff had returned home, which meant that squallers had sent it back, but zoya had been out there for a while even before the light. going out there meant there was a possibility she was going to receive the news that zoya hadn't made it.

"i need a healer here! quick!"

y/n wiped her teary eyes that were still burning from the smoke, pushed the stray hairs out of her face and stood up. she was not going to let people suffer just because she was afraid of facing her fears. she let herself fall onto her knees next to a cartographer girl whose leg still sizzled from a terrible burn. she seemed pretty out of it- her head lulled as a cold sweat coated her face.

"hey, you're going to be alright. i'm y/n, i'm a healer." she tried to reassure her, even if she was unsure if the girl could even hear her at this point, "i'm going to have to touch it, but it's going to get better after that. i promise. try to sit as still as you can so it won't scar." she went to work and saw the girl's eyes flutter open. "see?" the girl nodded and sent a tired smile her way. that was enough of a thank you for y/n and she immediately stood up to try and see where she was needed next.

zoya had climbed her way down as soon as she could and panic filled her when she couldn't find y/n anywhere. this was where she'd seen the boy take her to?! but as she walked back, she saw the girl tending to a wounded man and a sigh of relief left her mouth. she watched y/n stand up,

"can you tend to my shoulder next?"

y/n's head whipped around at the familiar voice, and even if it sounded hoarse and tired, she could still hear a playful undertone.

"thank the saints! you're alright!" y/n went in for a hug but reminded herself of zoya's injured shoulder and squeezed the girl's hand instead.

"who else sent us back?" zoya smiled tiredly and let y/n pull her out off the chaos on the ship to be sat down on the docks. the healer helped her out of her kefta and zoya noticed y/n was trying to suppress a meek smile at the sight of the talisman that clung around zoya's neck.

zoya closed her eyes as y/n's soft hands made contact with her bare shoulder and she only dared to open them again once the pain was replaced by the familiar feeling of a healing itch. she grabbed the healer's hand and intertwined their fingers.

"are you still hurting?"

zoya let out a breathy chuckle and shook her head, "no, i believe i'm fine now. just a bit shaken."

y/n nodded and stared off into the distance, she knew exactly what zoya meant. a soft tug on her hand made her look back at the blue eyed girl.

"i'm sorry."

"zoya nazyalensky saying sorry? that's a first."

"hush you, i'm serious. don't make me regret this." zoya rolled her eyes, glad to have this y/n back. for a second, back in the fold, when she saw y/n so tensed up as she was reliving her trauma, zoya was afraid she might never get her back, if they were to even get out of the fold alive. but here she was, holding the girl's hand and staring into her eyes. she was here. with her.

"it was wrong of me to downplay your worries when i knew where they stemmed from. you've had to go through that, see that happen... and it was only fair of you to fear my departure. i should've written to you and-"

"zoya, it's quite-"

"let me finish." a light squeeze in her hand and a somewhat serious glare from zoya made y/n shut up, "i also shouldn't have treated you like i did last night. but can you try to imagine the worry i felt when i realised you were going to do the crossing? if something happened to you, that would've been because of me. you were on that ship because i was there, because i didn't write back."

"i would've taken the offer even if you had written to me, to be quite honest..."

zoya rolled her eyes, "of course you would've."

"zoya, when will you understand that i'll always try to have your back?

"but why must you put yourself in harm's way to do so?"

"because that's just how it goes!" y/n squeezed zoya's hand this time, trying to get her message across. "we're companions remember?"

zoya smiled softly and put a strand of hair behind y/n's ear before she wiped away the dirt on the girl's temple. her fingers then travelled down the girl's cheek and jaw before resting there, "i think we're more than companions, don't you think?" her striking blue eyes then looked directly into y/n's, immediately captivating the girl like she was some siren trying to lure her into the pools of her eyes.

"are we?" y/n's voice was small.

"have you forgotten about kissing me already? should you need a reminder?"

"no- i haven't, i remember!" her cheeks turned scarlet as zoya tilted her head in a playful manner. oh gods, how stupid could she be. "i mean, i don't. a reminder would be nice?" the meekness of y/n's voice warmed zoya up and she stroked the girl's bottom lip with the pad of her thumb,

"you sure?"

y/n nodded, but that wasn't what would satisfy zoya.

"talk. use your voice."

"yes, i'm sure."

zoya lifted her chin and looked at her in a way only she could, but it wasn't disrespectful at all. she looked at y/n as if she was the only girl in the world, but even if she wasn't, she'd still pick her. she'd pick her as a friend, a companion, or whatever they were going to be next.

[m-y-fandoms]

COMMISSION: Joker/Akira/Ren x Reader Part 3

This fic assumes Mishima isn't a confidant, the reader is the Moon arcana instead, keep this in mind.

word count: 6.3k words, SFW

- Admin Myah

Over the next few weeks spent with Akira, or… Joker, as he seemed to be called when the situation demanded, you learned that the world was much more complicated than you ever could’ve dreamed. Sure, you praised yourself for being a little less of a sheep than the idle-brained teenagers of your everyday life who thought of nothing but gossip, status and appearances, but now you felt insignificant, like you’d been asleep all this time until Akira, Ryuji and Ann had placed six symbolic hands upon you, and shaken you to life. Layers upon layers, he explained the subconscious world that lay beneath, which ached to be revealed, only to those who’d open their eyes.

＊

It’d been a rush, your first time in the Metaverse. You’d insisted to Akira, though he protested, that you wanted to see what all of this near-unbelievable nonsense he was explaining was all about. He’d never taken non-Phantom-Thief confidants into the Metaverse, and he was hesitant, silent for a long while before deciding that your help was worth the risk. After all, he’d already told you everything, and they had no way to erase memories… yet.

You remember Akira taking your hand, the skin on skin contact. Up on the school’s rooftop with Ryuji and Ann flanking you, Akira had told you it was a precaution, to make absolutely sure that you transferred into the Metaverse with them and landed in the same place. You had to be touching one of them, for your safety, and he’d eagerly volunteered. With the cat in his bag seeming to smile at you over his shoulder (an occurrence which made you feel like you were going looney already) he tapped an app icon on his phone, some scary red little square, and with that, your body lifted, began to float, or so it seemed. Red completely consumed your vision, red and black ink like those blobs you’d seen the Phantom Thieves appear from when this all began. You gasped, stumbling back a step as if you could escape the all-encompassing wave, and Akira, sensing your trepidation, squeezed your hand slightly.

The rooftop faded, and you felt like a character from a videogame fast-traveling to their destination. Almost as fast as it appeared, the trippy red and black sludge subsided, and before you sat a dark, dreary scenery. A castle, one that obviously belonged to a malevolent ruler sat amongst a purple sky and the smell of despair.

“What the…” your mouth hung agape for a second, taking in your surroundings before letting your eyes trail down to where your hand met Akira’s. Assuming you no longer needed it, you shook him off gently, not even sparing a glance his way, and his eyebrows creased just the smallest amount, not that you noticed. You were too focused on the giant cat before you, knee-height, with a round, bulbous head. “Is… are you-?!”

“Much more handsome and dashing in this form, wouldn’t you say?” Morgana - now confirmed - gave you a sly look as you leaned down to his height to run your hand along the fur on his head.

“Wow… so cute!” You cooed.

“Hey! Stop it! Stop it! I am a warrior and to be taken seriously!” he whined, shooing away your hands, his fur on end.

“Ha!” a sharp laugh rang out behind you, and you turned to see that Morgana wasn’t the only one who’d made a drastic change. Ryuji was now clad in some kind of leather pirate’s uniform, his demeanor far more fearsome and a skull mask across his face. Ann donned a skin-tight body suit and cat mask, and Akira wore a lavish long coat, red gloves, and a masquerade mask. He looked like a magician from some fairytale, or perhaps the leader of some band of Robin-Hood-inspired band of vigilantes… although you supposed that was kind of what he was now… either way, he would make amazing source material for your main protagonist. Such swagger, a commanding presence… he didn’t seem to exactly be the same Akira you’d met earlier.

＊

The trip to the Metaverse was almost completely uneventful… almost. Just once, when you’d begged Akira to press forward and show you the inside of the castle, something called a “shadow” attacked, and you got to see the band of thieves in action. It was shocking, leaving chills running down your spine. Here were your classmates, people your age with ghost-like spirits materializing at their backs, flipping through the castle’s corridors, shooting guns and slingshots and magic at terrifying beasts. It was all so fast-paced, so stunning, that your body locked up witnessing the battle. A shadow spotted you in the background, defenseless and clearly not part of the Phantom Thief entourage, and taking the petty opportunity only a sore-loser on the ropes would take, struck out against you. You shrieked, your hands uselessly coming up to defend your face as if it would help. Akira’s eyes widened, his reflexes so much faster in this realm, and turned on his heel, diving in front of you to deflect the blast of frosty energy swirling toward you. It bounced off of the side of his large steel dagger and ricoheted back at the shadow. After assessing the situation and asking if you were okay, Akira decided it was time to return you back to the real world. It was too dangerous for someone without a persona to wander here. The thieves would return later, once you were safe at home.

＊

Anyway, now you believed him, you knew everything he was saying, about Kamoshida and his fucked up mind, about confidants, personas and metacognition was real and very much a serious matter. Now all that was left was to decide just how you could help them, what kind of deal you could strike with the clever leader of the Phantom Thieves. Of course, he didn’t expect you to get something and give nothing.

It was decided that you’d offer your knowledge as a writer to help with negotiation and charming shadows in the Metaverse. You’d turn those golden lines you wrote on the pages into real-life lessons, and Akira would learn to seduce shadows, to out-smart them, to persuade them to give up everything they had: their money, precious belongings, even their very selves. He would flirt, threaten, intimidate, any honeyed word or silver-tongued method he could use to make deals with shadows go along more smoothly. Perfect. It would help him out immensely. But, what did you want, he’d asked again.

It felt embarrassing, now that you were put on the spot, forced to disclose it, but although those “golden words” translated well into lessons for others, you found that you couldn’t as easily take your own advice. You struggled with human interaction in your real life, especially of the romantic kind. You could write a healthy relationship out on paper, create the ideal love interest from scratch for a story, but stumbled along words like some socially incompetent fool once it came time to apply that knowledge. As much as you hated to admit it, these days even getting true, realistic romantic moments down on paper was a struggle. The well was drying up, writer’s block, as you’d explained it to your online friends. It was near impossible to make something from nothing, and you had nothing. No real romantic experience. You couldn’t help but think this was the route of the problem. Your writing, your precious romance novel would flourish, if only it’s author wasn’t completely clueless.

“Date me…” You mumbled, surprised out how your long moment of pensive introspection had accumulated into this clunky statement.

“What?” Akira let out a breath he’d seemed to be holding the entire time, just watching you think on what method of reciprocity was worth your help. Losing your nerve at the incredulous tone of his voice and the raise of his brows, you shrunk back a bit, ready to defend your words.

“W-wait!” You held a hand out between you. “Not really. I mean…” how to word this…? “Like, fake!” He looked even more confused than before. You released a noise of frustration. “What I mean is, you take me on dates - fake ones - stupid little stuff couples do, for my writing, of course…” You looked toward the ground, suddenly extremely interested in your shoes.

“How does that benefit you in any way?” He smiled, a bit forced, a blush dusting his pale cheeks.

“Well I- I’ve been having writer's block lately. I mean sure, I can give you lines and lessons from my previous works, drabble and things I’ve learned, written down in the past, but I have no fresh material. Stagnation is every writer’s downfall, but I have no experience, I need more to go off of… and then maybe I can even transfer what I discern from our… interactions - er… dates I mean - to you. Does that make sense?” You looked up at him hopefully.

“Uh… no,” Yeah, you knew it didn’t, but that’s all you had for him. His hand shook, much less confident as Akira than Joker, and he shoved it in his pocket.

“It’s hard to explain, I just… that’s my deal. Will you take it?” You clutched your bag a little closer to your body. “We don’t even have to tell anybody. I just want to experience it… going out… with someone…” It sounded a little more pathetic now that you were actually hearing yourself. You both stood in silence, Akira contemplating your words. It wasn’t that he didn’t like you as a person… it was just… complicated…

“Give me a day to think about it,” he spoke quietly, giving you a polite send off before parting ways.

That night, anxiety set in as you rolled around in your bed restlessly.

Did you sound like a creep? Were you being unreasonable? Was this asking too much of him? Does he think you’re crazy? You’ll probably never hear from him again. He’d probably rather find a way in that crazy Metaverse to erase your memories so he can forget the awkward exchange ever happened. Maybe he’ll kick your shadow’s ass one day.

You debated going to school the next day.

＊

Akira’s night, though not as horrendous as yours, was not a peaceful one. Like so many nights, he found himself awoken to the clink of a ball and chain, dressed in striped rags as he stood and walked to the bars of his cell. The twins were waiting, as always, anger in their eyes.

“Look alive, prisoner!” Caroline spoke.

“Our master would have a word with you!” Justine chimed in. Akira looked up, meeting Igor’s large grin.

“You’ve forsaken a bond, Trickster. One must ask, why?” Igor’s hands splayed over a deck on cards on his desk.

“Huh…? What do you mean?” Sleep lingering in his mind, and confused as to why he was here this time, Akira replied.

“I’ve told you, the bonds you strengthen over time and the new bonds you form, they will be what wins this fight. You can only complete your mission, save all that is, through the support your confidants provide, so why have you abandoned this bond?” Igor’s fingers folded together, hands clasped, a show of disappointment. “Now is not the time to not try hard enough.” Was that a hint of frustration in his tone? If so, he didn’t show it.

“...I’m afraid I don’t understand.” Akira rubbed one eye lazily.

“You’re not trying to understand, worm! Wake up!” Caroline’s fist banged down across the bars, startling Akira slightly. He looked to Igor again, who held up a single card between two fingers. On its face sat two wolves, both howling up at a glittering moon.

“The Moon.” Igor stated plainly. “Illusion, fear, anxiety, intuition, uncertainty, complexity, secrets, the unconscious mind. A friend, a possible lover, someone unsure of themselves and others. Creativity, shadowed by doubt. Someone who supports others but not themselves.” As he spoke, images of your face flashed in Akira’s mind. Igor threw the card into the air, catching it upside-down, letting the wolves fall into the moon, swimming in its glow. “Reversed: release of fear, repressed emotion, clarity, misinterpretations overturned. Someone who can fix what was upright. But you’ve passed over the opportunity.” Igor swipes his free hand in front of the card, and it disappears.

Scenes play out in Akira’s head. Confrontation with shadows, confrontations with real people, but these aren’t real… or rather, haven’t happened yet.

He receives clarity.

The Moon has more to offer than lessons on charisma, seduction, trickery, persuasion. His intuition will grow, his ability to perceive things before they happen, the ability to read and understand people, and be understood in return. Other bonds will grow, empathy will grow. More friends, closer friends, a flash of blue hair, white uniform, red hair, headphones, then a tidy uniform, a Shujin uniform, gloves, a beige jacket, and finally bouncy curls and a soft, high pitched voice. With your help, the Phantom Thieves can grow. Bonds will strengthen. Complexity, Igor had said. More than meets the eye. Was there more to you? You weren’t too bad, obviously intelligent… a bit odd, but kind enough, and he did find you cute… but pretending, a fake relationship? How could a fake bond strengthen

The card reappears, as if out of thin air, and Igor points to one upside down wolf.

“Me.” Joker whispers, as if guided by an unseen force. Igor points to the other wolf.

You.

He awakens with a start, nearly knocking Morgana off the bed. He has an answer for you now.

＊

He finds you at school the next day, huddled in the library and not where you’d said you’d meet him. You’d been dreading this, waiting for the rejection, your hand trembling slightly on the book in your hands. He sits across from you, a look of determination on his face. Waiting for him to speak was torture.

“I’ll do it.” He holds out a hand, waiting for you to shake it, seal the deal. A contact has been signed.

＊

Your first date with Akira is clunky, unpracticed, unprecedented of course. He doesn’t know much about what to do, either, so he takes you to Le Blanc for dinner. Some coffee and curry, maybe a soda and some conversation on the side? It couldn’t be too bad, right? That’s what dudes do, he thought, bring their... pretend sweetheart somewhere for dinner, right? Sojiro is teasing, of course, wondering who this new person was, why Akira was holding their hand. He smirks like a dad proud of his boy, and Akira, too embarrassed under Sojiro’s scrutiny now to sit down and serve you curry, rushes you upstairs.

After being dragged by the hand up rickety old stairs, you end up in Akira’s room alone. You look around, taking in his sparse decorations, humble belongings. It then strikes you that you are, in fact, alone. Alone with a boy in his room, for the first time in your life. You didn’t know how you got here, and so fast. Maybe you were in over your head. Maybe you just needed to calm down. This was part of the process, right? Real couples did this, to get to know each other. He beckons you over, gestures for you to sit on his bed with him. You’re hesitant, but Akira isn’t making a big deal out of it, and you’re not really alone, with Morgana right there, so you sit, as far from him as you could be on the surprisingly soft bed. Struggling for words and new to dates himself, Akira decides to treat you first and foremost like his friend. That makes this all easier.

He spends the next hour or so describing Mementos, his mentor Igor, the twins. He wants you to know everything, and it surprises him. His other confidants, save for the actual Phantom Thieves, don’t know anything about the hidden world their bonds are healing. He describes the arcana to you, the tarot, the way his soul resonates with The Fool, Ryuji The Chariot, Ann The Lovers. His doctor friend is Death, Sojiro the Hierophant. Morgana here is the Magician, and proud of it. He explains how he feels a bond with them, as he now does with you. They make him feel like he can do anything. You’re included in that now. You feel warmth rise to your cheeks. How could he say that so casually? It wasn’t like it was a love confession or whatever, but you had trouble seriously telling your online friends you appreciated having them in your lives without adding a joke or meme in there somewhere. Why did he even need your help? He seemed well spoken. You said so, voicing these opinions aloud.

“Huh.. you know, I actually don’t usually talk this much,” he smiled. “Must just be you.” He was only half teasing. You looked away nervously, feeling the need to change the subject.

“S-so, what am I?” You began to stroke Morgana’s fur, and this time he didn’t seem to mind.

“You mean your soul?” He scooted a bit closer.

“Yeah.” It didn’t go unnoticed.

“The Moon.” He replied softly.

He spent the rest of the night explaining the levels of Mementos, and some of the wicked people whose hearts he’s had the displeasure of seeing inside, but the absolute pleasure of changing. You say you aren’t surprised so many people are walking around so hurt inside or eager to hurt others. When the “date” ends - neither of you having even gotten that promised coffee or curry downstairs - you’re touching, sitting shoulder to shoulder looking at the moon outside his window with Morgana on your lap. The room seems a little warmer, a little less humble. Akira mentions with a sheepish grin that it’s getting late, and offers to walk you home.

Rank Up!

＊

You sit in your bed that night, Akira now having returned to Le Blanc, and think about if this will make good writing material or not. You had to have learned something, right? There was something to be gained from every experience… but you can’t help feeling like you’ve warmed up to the thought of Akira a bit more… not too much, however. You smiled to yourself at the thought of The Fool, tricked into dating the Moon, for all it can offer him.

He’d been so awkward at your front door when he dropped you off. You could tell he had no clue what to do. He was frantically looking around. People in movies kissed their date at this point, cheek or lips, depending on how the date went, right? He confessed that he’s one of those people who truly don’t know anything about romance, like you’d mentioned earlier in one of your conversations. You tell him it’s fine, that you didn’t expect anything, that you just met the other day. He thought he was being clear, dropping hints that he might want to peck your cheek, just a quick gesture to kick off your fake relationship, but maybe he wasn’t as slick as he thought. The hints seemed to go over your head. Maybe he really did need help.

＊

Your second date comes in the form of you begging to go back into the Metaverse for some inspiration. He fights you, bringing up the last time a shadow attacked you, but you are persistent. He gives in, taking you to the highest rung of Mementos, where the shadows are weak and he can keep you safe adequately on his own. It is a date, after all, no Phantom Thieves tagging along. Mementos is a bit more frightening than Kamoshida’s Palace, you mention, and he eases your fear, promising to protect you here, always. You take in his Phantom Thief uniform in more detail as you walk the long corridors of the realm of the subconscious and decide he looks quite handsome in it.

You watch him battle a demon that is the personification of lust, a succubus-like creature dripping with temptation and love, or so it thinks. Joker uses all that you’ve taught him so far, which isn’t much, and cons the false idol of love out of their money. It was quite comical yet a bit sad to watch the shadows expression fall from a cocky to a defeated one, but preformative love you’ve decided, is doomed to lose. The irony flies over your head.

From this experience, watching Joker fight with speed and grace, you settle on a genre for your novel. It will be a high-fantasy romance. Joker will inspire your main character, of course, but the love interest… was still undecided. You started drafting her to look like Ann, act like Ann, give off the energy and power Ann does. Ryuji was an option at first as well to inspire the love interest’s personality, but he was a bit too brash. You wanted someone strong, but soft and elegant at the same time. These characters were loosely based on the Phantom Thieves, anyway, so it didn’t really matter.

＊

When you leave the Metaverse, though Akira is a bit exhausted, he takes you to a local casual restaurant to make up for the last time at Le Blanc. There, sitting across the counter from you two is an older gentleman. Yoshida, Akira whispers, is a friend of his, another confidant. The Sun. Yoshida makes small talk, asking politely if you’re with Akira, and you feel your stomach clench. You knew this was fake, the agreement was clear, but hearing it aloud, the awkward ‘we’re just friends’ that was coming made you sweat. It still felt like rejection anyway. When Akira confirms that yes, you are in fact dating, your eyes widen, the coil in your stomach releasing. He smiles, taking your hand. This has to be an act, a show to play up the relationship. He’s just performing his duty, his role, holding up his end of the deal in order to simulate a real relationship and give you worthwhile source material… right?

Either way, you appreciate not being publicly humiliated, and smile back. That night, you write down everything, and what it’s like to not be alone.

Rank Up!

＊

Days pass, Kamoshida coming and going, justice being served, and you spend more and more time with your fake boyfriend. Your parents let him come over, and in your room you let him read some of the old poetry you’ve written, some lame pining drabble from your younger years, and some more recent things you’re proud of. He scours your room, digging up old hobbies and photos. You tell him all about them. He tells you he enjoys learning these things about you. You simply smile. It doesn’t seem to be the reaction he was looking for. Not liking the small frown that adorns his features, you pick the conversation back up, asking if he thinks you’ll ever have a persona. He smiles, maybe someday.

Rank Up!

＊

The Phantom Thieves are gaining fame, only more fodder for your writing. The more you hang out with Akira and his friends, the more real it feels. Your online friends can feel it, too. They sense you changing, talking less of writing and more of Akira. They tease you, of course, but they don’t get it. He’s just a main character… just a muse.

This time, Akira walks home to Le Blanc alone, wondering if he should tell you how he feels. He doesn’t like it, holding up this pretense of a fake relationship, pretending the glances and touches don’t matter. He wants to tell you…

...that he’s slowly falling.

You receive a little gift in the mail the next day. It’s a deck of tarot cards. The return address is blank. You call him to tell him all about it, and end up discussing the pros and cons of each card all night. What a coincidence that you should receive your own deck all of a sudden.

Rank Up!

＊

There are moments where you’re afraid you may be falling, too. There was the time that a blue-haired young man stalked you and your friends through Shibuya, turning corners when you did, always on your trail. When Ryuji finally got fed up and confronted the weirdo, asking why the hell he was following you guys, he’d revealed that his name was Yusuke, a student of a painting master, and that he was simply following inspiration where it lead.

“Your friend there, I was drawn to them,” he points elegantly, like some manga bishounen, past Ryuji and toward you. “I beg of you, allow me to paint your form. Something about your normalcy stands out. What I mean is, there is beauty to be found in not standing out, a silent grace in being so plain.” You could tell Yusuke meant no harm, that he simply may be a bit socially inept with his words, as well, but the way he was talking about you set something in Akira on fire. He stood in front of you, shifting until his body blocked yours from Yusuke’s sight.

“They aren’t plain.” He spoke with a dangerous edge to his tone, and you felt your heartbeat speed up. The hint of jealousy in his voice at Yusuke’s request for you to model for him, and anger at him calling someone he found so fascinating plain was evident.

＊

Yusuke seemed to be in denial in the coming days. Though your little troupe seemed to constantly be bumping into him, offering him sound advice and trying to awaken him to the mire of corruption that was the truth behind his mentor, Ichiryusai Madarame, he refused to see reason. He dove further into his art, but you could tell he was hurting. You used your time with Akira these days to teach him how art, much like film and literature, can reflect false truths and influence people. The deception, corruption and shallowness of the media extended to the art world, as he learned after one or two gallery visits with you.

It was then, in a gallery displaying Yusuke’s work, as you sat in a secluded corner alone discussing ways to take down Madarame, that Akira started to flirt incessantly.

He takes your hand, bringing up romantic tropes in movies he’s seen that seem so forced, one-sided, cliche, uncomfortable. He mentions that he would’ve done better, explains how those scenes would’ve played out if he had any say.

“Is that so?” Your brow raises, amused by how animated this usually quiet boy could be when he was passionate about something.

“Yeah! Of course! What, you don’t see me doing that?” he laughed breathily, going on about how the male lead of some high-school romance film Sojiro rented for him was clumsy, forceful, and didn't give his lover time and space to think about their feelings. “I would’ve treated them much, much better… “ his words trail off, as if lost in thought.

“...Is that so?” You ask again, studying his face and asking yourself how you didn’t notice before how beautiful the hue of his eyes were. You sure as hell were noticing now… steely grey, sharp, deep, purposeful. You’d have to write that down… for research purposes of course. When you pull yourself back to reality, no longer lost in the swirl of his irises, you realize he’s staring at you, and has been for some time.

“Do… can I-” he speaks, throat dry, and scoots himself closer. “May I kiss you…?” His voice is soft, so soft, scared.

“...Yes.” You answer, naturally, impulsively, voice just as soft. When Akira leans forward, and softly presses his apprehensive lips to yours, you feel like you’ve been set on fire. Your mind begins to go crazy, while your body is frozen. It’s not that you didn’t like it, some part of you did. You wanted more, but it felt wrong. This wasn’t real. You didn’t truly like him… right? This kiss was fake, for research purposes… to cure writer’s block…

...right?

You were frozen more from guilt than nerves. Weren’t first kisses supposed to feel like little butterflies in your stomach? Did he think he owed you this? Were you taking advantage of him at this point? Did he feel forced to kiss you to keep up his end of the bargain?

Akira deepened the kiss, a hand on the back of your neck, guiding you, begging you to reciprocate. When you didn’t, lost in your own head, he pulls away, a small frown tugging at his lips.

“W-we… we should head home. I’ll walk you…” he sighs. You both stand, make your way back onto the main street from the museum, and are silent the entire walk home.

You think he’s silent because you’ve forced him to think he needs to kiss you, and now regrets his decision. He thinks you’re silent because he’s just forced a kiss upon you, just like some Chad from a movie who can’t understand boundaries. Neither of you know your silence is for the exact same reasons.

Akira drops you off at home with a quiet ‘goodnight,’ and walks home, clearing his head in the cool night air.

“Stupid… jeez… fuckin’ stupid,” he huffs, repirmanding himself. This wasn’t real. You’d stated that from the beginning. This relationship was to benefit your writing, to help him in the Metaverse, nothing else. Nothing else.

Nothing. Else.

It was his fault he let himself develop real feelings. He has no right to be sad, to blame you, to get upset. You’d stated the terms from the very start…

Maybe he really was The Fool.

Rank Up…?

＊

The next few weeks are awkward.

Both of you think it’s your fault.

You go on dates like usual, but they are strictly business. You get writing material, he gets advice, no touching, and certainly no kissing. Yusuke joins the group. Things are great… friendly… strained, tense. Akira wonders what the hell he’s doing, if this bond is even worth it. Weeks pass. He feels your bond with him growing, but not in the way he wishes. It felt like all of his other confidants: visit, gain, rank up, gain power, learn. He wonders if he can keep this up. His heart aches. He wants to touch you more, but can’t, wants to tell you more, but won’t let himself.

＊

One rainy night, he calls you, like he often does when you can’t meet up in person, and tells you he can’t do this anymore. You lie, and say you agree. The guilt won’t let you tell him the truth, that you want to end the farce, move onto something more real. You can sense your feelings for him growing stronger each day, and it’s not fair to him. Without fighting, without the big “it’s not you it’s me you” you’re used to reading about in books, you tell him you respect his decision, and it’s over. When Akira hangs up, he finds himself a bit angry inside. You didn’t even try to fight for the relationship. There was a tiny little part of him that hoped you felt anything for him, that maybe it meant something to you. He cries that night, for the first time in a long time. They are angry tears, frustrated ones.

＊

In your bed, you find yourself sitting upright, dead inside, unfeeling, empty. You feel like a part of you is gone, but can’t pinpoint why. You don’t even notice the tears sliding down your own cheeks as you sift through the pack of tarot cards that mysteriously came into your life. You find The Moon, and play with it, twisting it between your fingers before sending it flying across the room like a paper dart. Did this mean you couldn’t hang out with the Phantom Thieves anymore? Were you losing your only in-real-life friends and… boyfriend(?) all in the same day?

You sifted through the cards and gently set aside the Emperor, the Lovers, the Chariot. Then your hand drifted over the Fool. You held it out in front of your face. A dancing man looking up at the sky with a jesters cap perched upon his head smiled back at you.

The start of a great journey, freedom from constraints. Each day is an adventure. Courage, anything can happen. There is a need to experience new things, to let yourself experience the love you deserve. Be willing to take risks.

A sad, thoughtful smile crosses your lips. You turn the card upside down.

If you disregard the repercussions of your actions, you are the Fool. You cannot see the position you’ve put yourself in. Is everything what it seems to be?

A breath catches in your throat, a wave of nausea hitting you. You scramble for your phone, and dial a number.

Silence, ringing, silence.

“...Yeah…?” Akira sniffles. He’s been crying???

“I want… can we talk… can I come over?”

“It’s late.”

“It’s not, we came home way earlier than usual. You’re just using that as an excuse.” You were feeling a little braver than usual, the spirit of the Fool within you. You heard him thinking, a sigh that came through as static.

“Yeah… fine, I’ll be waiting.” Relief washed over you.

＊

When you knocked on the door after speed-walking to Le Blanc, Sojiro let you in with a warm smile. He obviously didn’t know about your falling out with Akria, yet.

“He’s upstairs,” he gestured, exhaustion evident in his voice. You rushed past, thanking him with a small bow of your head. Only now was the inevitable fear starting to sink in. Akira heard footsteps creaking on the stairs. Sojiro never came up unannounced, and with that realization, his back stiffened. Morgana picked up your scent, excusing himself, passing you on your way up the stairs. He could take a hint.

He stood immediately, stepping toward you, stopping halfway. You shrunk into yourself, unable to meet his eyes.

“Akira… I wanted to talk…” you muttered.

“You said that… about what?” He was more than a little pissed, but he was always one to hide his temper well.

“Can we sit…?” You gestured to his small sofa. It didn’t feel right to sit on the bed. He hesitated, before shuffling over and sitting next to you. “I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?” Oh, there were so many things, but he wanted to know what you thought was worth apologizing over. Maybe he wasn’t being fair, he dialed back his attitude a tad.

“For… making you enter into the agreement in the first place. Someone’s affections, their love, their touch and body… it’s not something that can be forced. It should never be pretend.” You felt like the biggest hypocrite ever right now. His head shook a bit in disbelief, blinking hard.

“I wasn’t pretending!” His hands flew to his hair, mussing it. “That was the problem.” He sighed heavily.

“What?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“I wasn’t being forced… are you… you must be the most oblivious person I’ve ever met.” He laughed cynically.

“But-”

“Wait, wait, why did you think I ended our” he put air quotes up, “ ‘fake’ relationship.” He needed this clarification, now. For closure, for redemption, to fix things, whatever may come next.

“Because… because I was forcing you to date me! You were uncomfortable?!” You could feel your voice begin to break, tears clawing to escape. You’d never felt so disgusted with yourself as you did right now.

“Are you serious?” He took both of your hands, looking you in the eyes. You nod. “Answer truthfully. Do you have feelings for me? Real ones?” You bit your lip, that feeling of selfish guilt creeping like bile up your throat. You nod again. “This whole time?” Another nod. He releases you, turning away. “Sheesh, maybe I’m the oblivious one here…” he spoke more to himself than to you. You both sat in tense silence, not sure what to do, what to say.

“Akira…”

“It was real to me,” he moved closer, trapping you against the end of the couch.

“Really?” Your heartbeat was going crazy, and he leaned ever so slightly closer, his hand on the back of the couch for support. “I broke up with you because it was hurting me to pretend I didn’t have real feelings for you, and to think you didn’t want me back, not for real. I thought… that you’d always think of me as just some character for your book.”

“No… Akira… had I known you felt this way…” He leaned in further, your noses bumping slightly, clumsily. This time, he felt no discomfort, no hesitation from your side. His heart fluttered in excitement. You could feel his breath on your warm cheeks.

“May I kiss you?” He asked again, a secondary, unspoken question sitting beneath his words.

“Yes.” Your voice was shaky, but you were sure, for once, of what you wanted. His hand went to your back, cradling you into his chest to lay down flat against the couch. With a passion he’d been holding back, he pressed his lips to yours without reservation. You sunk into the warm, plush feeling, tilting your head at a better angle. He kept the kiss soft, shallow, low pressure, looking for you to give him the signal to stop. When your arms reached upward, snaking around his neck and pulling him harder down into you, he groaned softly, barely audible, before passing his tongue over your lips a single time. You parted your lips, allowing him access, and his hand, pale and trembling, came up and found its way under the hem of your shirt, splayed nervously against the smooth skin there.

[pradaksj]

the swimming lessons

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ pairing⟶  jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶  swimminginstructor!jungkook , fluff, a bit of comedy? head canon/bullet points 

❧ rating⟶ e for everyone??? none??? idk how ratings work lol i just know that m = the dirty, which this story has none of

❧ word count ⟶ 5,000 

❧ summary ⟶  accidental swimming lessons with jungkook were definitely worth the money 

❧ a/n ⟶ i literally dreamt something similar to this in like january and told myself i'd write about it when i had the time so hear i am :)) this goes out to all my folks who can’t swim !! i'm on the same boat with you , get it?  cause we can’t swim ... ok anyways ... enjoy ! (note: i have not proofread this yet so sorry for any mistakes!! ill get to it soon !! ) 

“hello, welcome to lucky duck swim school, how can i help you?” the receptionist, who was loudly chewing her gum, sounded more like an automated voice message than a person...

see today was your first official swimming lesson

yay!! 

how fun!! ...

://

totally not embarrassing for someone your age !!!

honestly, it wasn't your fault you didn’t have any family members or friends with a big pool you could learn in growing up 

and by the time you did, you were too much of in an awkward phase to be properly taught

aka your body absolutely refusing to float on its own anymore

but after several trips to the beach with friends and attending different pool parties, you were tired of being made fun of !! 

no longer would you remain at 5 feet and under !!! not on your watch ! 

and so here you were, ready to start your journey into the world of swimming :)) 

“hi i um have a swimming lesson at 3 with um ... i believer her name was um—” 

hmmm what was her name ??? jennie??? no, maybe it was aaliyah ??? no that wasn’t it.... 

the receptionist taps on her keyboard buttons, her long nails making a noise 

pop, her bubblegum goes 

“jungkook” 

“yeah jungkook” you mindlessly say. 

wait 

WAIIITT

jungkook????

ummmmm 

that was not the game given to you by the last receptionist 

jungkook is a boy’s name !!! 

you didn’t want a boy instructor !!! 

not with the way you were looking 

“i um—i had asked for a girl instructor—” you awkwardly mention 

she rolls her eyes

um RUDE 

she continues clacking with her keyboard, looking for god knows what 

she sighs 

“there’s no slots with female instructors available for today, nor for the rest of the month, the earliest i can probably squeeze you in by is july.” she bluntly states. 

JULY??? 

july was when you needed to already know how to swim !!

that’s the peak of summer ! 

there was no point in knowing during winter or any other season besides summer for that matter 

and you were not going to get made of by your friends this year

no no NO

“soo do i reschedule you or.....” 

you sigh 

“no ill take it” you pout, resembling a child. 

“it it makes you feel any better, jungkook’s our best instructor, most popular too” 

wink 

oh yeah that makes you feel so much better 

>:( 

you were going to make a complete fool out of yourself in front of the so called “best instructor” 

“well go get yourself washed up, get into the pool, and jungkook will be with you shortly” she smiles, her attitude now changing now that (what looked to be a supervisor) was passing by. 

what a bi—

flip flop. flip flop. flip flop. 

your sandles press onto the water on the floor of the girls locker room, a grouchy look now on your face 

this wasn't fair 

you made an appointment with a female instructor!! 

you didn’t care if he was the best instructor or the most popular ...

squeeaaakkk , you twist the rusty shower handle

...because now you were you were going to be judged for your lack of skills 

not that you had any to begin with, but still! 

god, you sounded like such a karen ... 

it’s just ...

a guy instructor ??? 

really??? 

you understood that this wasn’t elementary school anymore and boys certainly didn’t have cooties anymore but like :// 

no no, you had to give this jungkook guy the benefit of the doubt

if he was one of the best, it was clearly because he was professional and good at what he does 

putting your worries to rest, you turn off the shower 

this was going to be fine

just fine 

clearly your worries were not put to rest 

just a temporary halt 

:) 

pat. pat. pat. 

okay let’s get it ! 

making your way out to the pool, you dip your foot in 

ooooo 

cold

VERY cold indeed 

1 ...2...

you dip your whole leg in, quickly using the momentum to place your whole body in 

“5 feet and below ... you’re my bitch !!” you think to yourself 

your hand still clearly gripping onto the ledge, still afraid of accidentally reaching 6ft

.... now to wait 

“megan seems to have fractured her leg last weekend on a rollerskating day gone bad, so you’ll be taking up her appointments for the next month of two until she’s cleared for work” 

huh ???

“but—” 

“also she, well now you i guess, have a lesson to teach at..” 

jungkook’s supervisor looks down at his watch 

“oh i guess in 30 minutes, could’ve sworn it was at 4..” he mumbles that last part to himself

30 minutes?! 

“don’t worry i’ll up your pay for the remaining time that she gets better” 

he winks ;) making a clicking noise with his mouth before leaving the staff room 

jungkook sighs 

today was supposed to be an easy day :/ 

a simple cleaning of the pool along with a couple of measly hours of being the lifeguard and that would’ve been it but noooo 

he just had to be the highest rated swimming instructor on the company website 

he couldn’t complain though, sometimes it was fun reading the reviews past students left, even if sometimes they were a little too...

whats the word...

provocative? 

it often made him wonder if he was in fact an actual good swimming instructor or if the high highly rated reviews were for other reasons.... 

honestly it’d be dumb of him not to acknowledge the amount of googly eyes he’d get ranging from the mother’s of his younger students to his actual adult students (female and male) 

he just liked to think that didn’t come into play when they wrote their reviews 

hehe 

changing into his black fitted rash guard, he glanced at megan’s schedule 

name : y/n 

age: 23 grown

swimming level: beginner  aka noob. 

he chuckles to himself 

well won’t this be fun 

he couldn’t lie beginner adult swimmers were always a spectacle to watch 

they almost reminded him of baby ducks learning how to swim 

only that they’d verbally curse their frustrations here and there 

quickly showering, he begins to make his way to the pool 

hmm, he wonders..

what should he eat after today’s lesson? 

a bacon cheese burger sounded really good 

maybe even grab himself some birria tacos from that new restaurant that just opened near his apartment 

hmm no he had to start spending less on takeout 

sigh 

looks like it’d be rame—

woah 

as corny as it sounded, he could’ve sworn he felt his heart skip a beat 

because whoever it was in that pool was pretty, like really pretty 

hOly ????? 

wowzers 

you couldn’t be y/n ... could you?!?!?! 

you were the only person who looked 23 years of age in the pool ...

ermmmmmm 

mayday mayday 

jungkook.exe has STOPPED WORKING  

whoever this jungkook person was, sure was taking their time 

deciding to have some fun before your lesson, you begin to gently play with the water 

swish. swoosh , the water goes 

soon you’d be well on your way to becoming the next michael phelps 

hehe 

maybe with time you’d even be able to a somersault in the water like your friend always—

“y/n?” a voice from behind says your name

ah finally 

taking in a deep breath, you turn your attention to the so called “best swimming instructor” 

OH.

MY .

GOD. 

WHAT ?????? 

this man looked like he came straight out of GQ magazine !!!! 

this HAD to be some mistake , there was just no way ... 

your cheeks feel as if they were burning up 

probably because they quite literally were 

there was no way you’d be able to come here every saturday for the next month, not without fawning for this dude every single minute 

“u-um” 

of course you were a stuttering mess

of FuCkiNg course 

“that’s me” 

cue the awkward smile 

:) 

“be professional” jungkook tells himself

at the end of the day, you were his student 

any crush on you would just have to wait until of course ... you were no longer his student 

for now the only goal was : teach you how to swim 

the next one down the list being : to take you out on a date ! 

he offers you a handshake 

wow he had a strong grip 

“i’m jungkook, i’ll be your swimming instructor for the next month” 

he flashes you his all too famous smile

there was just no way this man was real

just nO wAy 

“um..” 

crap, you were still holding his hand! 

idiot, idiot, idiot ! 

“sorry” you awkwardly laugh 

ha ha ha 

so funny 

:/ 

god did you just want to hide to disappear 

“it’s fine” he laughs 

even his laugh was attractive :( 

ugh 

“so y/n, before we begin with anything, i think it’s important to review about what kind of things you already know and what you don’t” 

oh right ... 

for a moment you had COMPLETELY forgotten you were here for swimming lessons 

how embarrassing 

“oh um..” 

um, um , um. 

IS THAT ALL YOU KNEW HOW TO SAY???? 

“so like floating, holding your breath underwater, pushing, gliding, arm movement, that kind of stuff,” he explains 

you knew a cool trick to make it look like you were water bending :D 

of course you weren’t going to admit that here 

silently you nod your head no 

he gives you a reassuring smile, sensing your timidness 

“that’s fine, only more for us—” he corrects himself, “for you to learn,” he laughs 

hey you weren’t complaining 

;) 

“so i personally always like to start off with teaching my students how to float. as long as we get that down then you’ll have no problem learning the rest” 

gosh his smile was so infectious 

shaking your head, you reminded yourself that this was your teacher 

+ you paid 300 bucks for these classes, so you couldn’t afford to be giving him the googly eyes all day 

you were so cute :( 

jungkook couldn’t help but find you so endearing 

the color of your swimming goggles even matched your swim suit :(( 

so cute ! 

“okay so the first thing i want you to practice is going underwater for a couple of seconds, just so you get used it,” he instructs, “i’ll demonstrate” 

taking in a deep breath, he goes down under 

1...2...3 

he’s back up 

pausing for about another three seconds, he takes in another deep breath of air before going back under 

1...2....3...4....5

he repeats the same thing over and over, until the max count becomes 20. 

“use my finger as your reference of when to go up, but come up for air whenever you feel like you need to. it’s important to go at your own pace, so don’t feel pressured to get it the first try” 

no pressure at all 

okay 

“you ready?” 

you nod your head 

“okay, deep breath in”

you sink your head underwater, mentally counting the three seconds before going back up 

“good job,” he gives you a high five, and you almost feel like a schoolgirl, “now let’s try to five seconds” 

woo!!! 5 seconds here you come !! 

taking in a deep breath you go down under again 

1....2.....3....4...5

easy peasy ... LEMON SQUEEZY 

“okay now to ten” 

1.....2......3......4.....5......6....7

umm

now why were these seconds going by slow all of a sudden? 

sucking it up you manage to make it to 10, but not without being out of breath 

“you okay?” he’s quick to ask 

yup, totally fine ! 

you definitely didn’t see the gates of heaven for a quick moment :D 

nodding your head, you enthusiastically say, “let’s go for 15″ 

he smiles at your enthusiasm

ahh so cute 

“1....2.....3......4......5.......6......7......8......9.....10.....11.....12....13...

nope nope nope

you were not going to make it to 15 

immediately you make your way back to the surface, trying to catch your breath 

“hey you did amazing,” he immediately reassures you, “remember as long your going your own pace then you’re doing just fine” 

<3 

well doesn’t that make you feel better 

you wonder if he’s this kind to all his students 

besides the most obvious reason, there was no question as to why he was the “most popular” instructor 

and to think you had been complaining earlier !! 

and soon you’re back underwater, going at your own pace until finallyyyy you’re able to make the 20 second count 

“nice !!” he genuinely celebrates with you, making you feel completely proud for yourself 

“okay now that we have that done, we can move onto learning how to float facing both front and back” 

ohhhhh

he was just thinking ahead 

cool :o 

“so what i want you do is first relax,” he laughs, gently pushing your stiff shoulders down 

as if your blush couldn’t get any deeper 

“now my personal belief is that all humans can naturally float, just that for others, it takes a bit of a push to get them at that state,” he begins to explain 

others meaning people like um you 

“the key to floating is to relax” 

oh you’ve heard that before

many MANY times and each time you’ve tried to so called “relax” you just end up sinking 

“the moment you fight or stress for even a tiny bit, you will sink. now i know what you’re thinking, ive heard that before” 

damn 

he was good 

“but sadly it’s true, until you learn to relax then you’ll be able to swim” 

you sigh 

this was where it became hard 

you were the queen of stress 

you and stress went hand in hand almost like a married couple 

it was just that deep water was scary !! very very scary !! 

the amount of horror stories you’d seen on tiktok was enough for you to know, ocean = scary 

“so here’s what i need you to do, i need you to place your arms on top of the water like as if you’re going to fly” 

you follow his commands 

he separates your arms, which had been too close together, giving them a small rub 

“remember you need to relax y/n,” he chuckles, feeling the tension in your arms

“relax, i need to relax,” you repeat 

“okay now right now when i tell you, you’re gonna take a deep breath in and look down, from there you’re gonna let you body move forward. so remember you’re not gonna jump, you’re just gonna let your body glide forward and float. almost as if you’re flying to me,” he explains 

mm it was easier said than done  

“you ready?” 

“okay deep breath in” 

you inhale a deep breath in 

“look down” 

you do that as well 

“and let go” 

slowly your body begins to rise on its own 

oh my god !!!!! 

you were about to float!!!!! 

the day has come !!!

no more staying at 5 feet and under 

you were ready to hang with the big kids :D 

but as quick as the momentum came, the faster it left because soon you felt yourself sinking, the breathing exercise jungkook had made you do now coming in handy 

no!!!! 

you almost had it :( 

it was right in your grasp, only to have it snatched away 

not wanting to offend you, jungkook keeps his giggles to himself 

“hey at least you almost had it,” he comforts you, “let’s just try again” 

you sigh, now letting your doubts creep in 

because of this, this time your body almost immediately sank this time

he frowns 

you were losing confidence :/ 

“come on i’ll help you” 

grabbing your hands, he signals for you to follow his breathing pattern

“deep breath in” 

“deep breath out” 

god, was his voice soothing 

“i need you to relax y/n, let everything go” 

a soft feeling of relaxation washes over you, similar to that feeling you’d get when you were on the verge of sleeping

“i’m gonna let you go at the count of three, and then you’re going to float, okay?” 

silently you nod, knowing that speaking would only cause you to tense up again 

“1...2....” 

he lets go, and soon you’re floating, just like he said you would 

you hold your breathe for a good while before standing back up, a huge smile on your face 

“holy shit! i did it!!” 

he gives you high five with both of his hands, for a second holding them before letting go 

“now let’s try floating on your back” 

he notices that there’s now a fire in your eyes that wasn’t there before

clearly you were now more determined to learn, excited too

preparing yourself to float once more, you realize you were missing something.... 

“jungkook...” 

he tilts his head, confused by the faint blush on your cheeks 

“do you think you can um—” 

now it was his turn to blush 

“o-oh yeah” 

what was his problem??? 

you were a student asking for help 

that was all ...

point blank. 

he helps you get on your back, his hand placed under your back as a way to keep you up 

“1....2....” 

you float easily again!! 

“nice!!” he smiles 

summer, here you come !! 

“okay so we’re gonna keep practicing that for the remaining time that we have and next week i’ll start teaching you about stroke techniques and which ones are easiest to do” 

nodding your head, you practice your floating by the end of the hour  having it practically mastered 

the two of you get out of the pool, now drying off 

“you’re a really fast learner y/n,” he compliments you 

hehe 

you mean, you didn’t wanna brag butttt 

you were a fast learner indeed 

“thank you,” you say in return, “but that’s only because you’re a great teacher” 

woah 

did you really say that :o 

aren’t you feeling a little bold today y/n  

his blush returns for the second time today

well technically you weren’t in class anymore ... 

a little flirting wouldn’t hurt right? 

if only he knew what to say .... 

hmmmm 

“well at least you won't ever drown!” 

HUH???????

jungkook, you idiot !!!!! 

someone needed to smack him straight in the face for that ! 

at least you won’t drown????

no fucking shit 

well there goes his chances with you now going down the drain 

but to his surprise, you laugh 

“you’re right, i won’t,” you say in return, “well i’ll see you next weekend jungkook” 

you flash him a smile, and he was certain he felt butterflies in his stomach 

walking into the girl’s locker room, you let out a sigh of relief

wheeeeew ! 

faking confidence was hard ! 

very VERY hard 

“so today you’re going to learn how to stroke so you can officially be called someone who knows how to swim, next week you’ll learn to tread water and continue perfecting your swimming, and then the final week i’ll teach you some fun extra things” 

“sounds good,” you say, definitely excited to learn more. 

“okay so now that you know how to float, right now when you float facing downward, you’re going to pull against the current with your arms, alternating each one. now the tricky part is that while you do that, you also have to paddle your legs a little and come up for air when you need to, and when you’re back in the water you should slowly be exhaling bubbles of air rather than holding your breath” 

well that sounded hard :/ 

“let me give you a demonstration,” jungkook says

he’s quick to float facing downward, showing you the maneuver he wanted you to learn while coming up for air every five seconds

thought it was a little childish, he somehow still looked good doing it 

he truly was blessed with the looks of a god 

he comes out the water

“okay now your turn” 

you nod your head, that determined look you had on your face last week now returning 

following his example, you begin your attempt at paddling and stroking your arms at the same time

SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH! 

immediately you begin to panic and water begins to splash everywhere, including on jungkook 

noticing your panicked state, jungkook is quick to grab you and place you back on your feet 

“hey hey, i got you,” he comforts you, not wanting you to feel discouraged 

you sigh 

:/ 

well that was embarrassing 

“remember y/n you have to learn to coordinate everything, so think of it this way. your legs have to always be paddling, it’s the arm and coming up for air that switch roles. when you come up for air, it’s only your legs paddling, while when you’re head is back underwater it’s both your legs and arms paddling. once you get that pattern, the bubbling will come naturally” 

you make an ohhhhh face

you could do that ! 

“remember what i told you last weekend y/n, you need to relax and be comfortable so you can build confidence. there’s no need to panic because i’m here,” he smiles at you 

gosh this just wasn't fair >:( 

cute and charming ???? 

this boy really had it all 

not wanting to disappoint, you try one more time, failing once again 

now you were frustrated :/ 

“damn it,” you mumble to yourself, a sadness to your voice

jungkook feels his heart swell 

he didn’t like seeing you sad :( 

but doggy paddling was the most basic technique he could teach you so he couldn’t really cheer you up by offering a different technique 

you needed to learn to doggy paddle before you could move on to the more bigger strokes

damn it ://  

“hey don’t feel bad about not getting right away,” he gives you a small smile, “i remember when i first started learning it took me forever to even learn how float, so the fact that you’re already at this point is enough of an accomplishment” 

well that makes you feel little better ... 

“but you were probably a kid, im ...” 

old , is what you want to say 

figuring what you were gonna say, he only laughs 

“who said i was a kid? i was probably like 19″ 

whaaaaaattttt! 

assuming he was your age (which he was), you do the quick maths in your head 

that was like .... 4 years ago ! 

how the hell did he get so good in such little time???? enough to be teaching courses ??? 

“not knowing how to swim is nothing to be embarrassed about y/n, if anything it takes a lot of courage to even sign up for a class so don’t beat yourself up too much for not getting it right away” 

he ruffles your wet hair, a small affectionate gesture 

you didn’t know how it was possible but you were falling for this man and QUICKLY at that 

he was just so ??$%@^! 

UGHHHH

“so let’s try one more time, and if you still can’t get it then we’ll push it to next week, a free extra lesson on me” 

eeeeek 

though the temptation to purposely fails was very intriguing indeed, you still had to try for the sake of it 

if you got it, you got it, and if you didn't well .... 

an extra week with jungkook it was :D 

“you ready?” 

you nod your head 

“1...2...” 

you float and begin to paddle, this time actually getting the hang of it !!!

you hear jungkook’s muffled voice from above the surface, “there you go!!” 

holy shit ! 

you officially knew how to swim !!! 

at least enough to save your own life if push came to shove 

once you were out of breath, you stand back up, a grin on both of your faces 

for jungkook it was hard not to tackle you in excitement so instead he settled for a very enthusiastic high five 

“you did it!” he cheers 

“ahhh!” you giggle like a child 

“from here on out, the rest is a piece of cake!” 

yay yay yay !!! 

“now let’s start working on deeper strokes, maybe we’ll even have time to throw in backstrokes!”

:////

noticing your changed expression, he awkwardly laughs while scratching his neck 

“or maybe not” 

this week was the final week of swimming lesson with jungkook

:(( 

last week’s lesson of treading water and perfecting your swim seemed to had gone by in literally the blink of an eye ! 

and so today was possible the last time you’d see jungkook unless you managed to grow the balls and ask him out once that clock hit 4, once you were no longer his “student"

by now you were 100% sure you liked the dude... like a lot 

and he was definitely someone you wanted to get to know outside of this pool 

you just weren’t sure if he liked you the same way 

you mean yeah there were definitely times that had you raising an eyebrow here and there, but you always excused it as him simply being a kind hearted person by nature 

because clearly his five star rating on the company’s website had to come from somewhere 

not that you checked or anything....

who were you kidding 

yes you did

your favorite review was the one that went..

“wow!! this dude is amazing !! came here for beginner lessons and even i found myself fawning for the dude , and i don’t even play for that side of the team !! not only were his lessons thorough, but he’s a very charming person ! 10/10 recommend!” 

and so you were stuck 

did he liked you or was he just treating you like he treated everyone?? 

“ahh y/n,” jungkook’s voice suddenly brings you back to reality 

“today’s our final lesson!” he announces, not sounding too sad

in fact he sounded excited  

damn :/ 

he playfully jumps into the pool, today being his so called “fun day” 

“so since today’s your last lesson i thought i could teach you how to do a.....” 

he pauses for dramatic purposes 

“SOmERSAuLT!!”

immediately your eyes light up 

ahhhhhHHHH!!!! 

you always wanted to learn how to do a somersault in water, remembering the number of times you’d look at your friend in jealousy whenever she did one 

“you ready??” 

eagerly you nod your head yes

“okay so the steps to doing a summersault is first of course, you need to take a deep breath” 

okayyyy 

“from there you tuck your chin to your chest, next you do the moment of the somersault by swinging your chest forward and gently kicking out your legs, so basically forming a ball and then kicking out.  naturally, if you have enough momentum, you’ll spin, but if you don’t just use your arms to complete it” 

“think you can give me a demonstration?” you innocently ask 

he winks at you, “of course i can” 

taking in a deep breath, he follows his own instructions, and you watch he perfectly executes his somersault 

“woahhh, that was so cool!” you say, even now finding the trick to be amazing 

“now i dont expect you to get it right away, so right now that you try i’m going tog hide you thought the movement so you get the gist of it” 

sounds fair enough 

you weren’t trying to drown on your last day either 

“okay, you ready?” 

“yes” 

“let’s get it!” 

taking a deep breath in, you feel jungkook’s hand get placed on your back, ready to push you so you could do the somersault 

“1...2...” 

and slowly you feel yourself spin with the help of jungkook, a smile already forming on your face 

“ahhh!” you smile big and wide, causing Jungkook to smile along with you 

“you think you’re ready to try it on your own???” 

“yes sir” 

“okay 1....2....” 

mustering up as much as force you possible could, you push yourself into ball and successfully do the somersault 

YUPPPPP 

WHOSE DOING IT LIKE YOU???!$%@$!

feeling an immediate rush of adrenaline, you begin to splash water all over once you come back up for air, declaring an all out water fight with jungkook 

soon the two of you are chasing one another, you now using your new swimming abilities to get away 

hehe 

you’re a swimmer 

:D 

the sound of jungkook’s infectious laughter fill the air and soon you feel him grab your waist at an attempt to stop you 

“gotcha” he says, and he turns you around to face him 

slowly each other’s heavy breathing becomes relaxed, and it’s as if you’ve felt a shift occur in what you considered your new “friendship” 

“so....” he awkwardly says, hands still wrapped around your waist 

his was was RED

like cherry tomatoes red 

this only makes you giggle 

if you had doubts before, you DEFINITELY didn’t have em anymore 

he liked you :)))) 

and you liked him :)))) 

and in ten minutes you were officially no longer his student so......

“there’s this new restaurant that opened near my place....” you say 

immediately his eyes light up 

“cancun eats?” 

you nod your head and he gives you a toothy grin 

“i was wondering if you’d want to go out some time...” you muster up the courage to ask him out 

%^@%!@&!@^&@%! = jungkook’s brain 

holy crap !!! 

you liked him!!! 

he wasn’t just delusional !!! 

“hello?? jungkook??” you laugh, waving a hand in front of his face for jungkook.exe had truly stopped working this time 

nodding his head yes like a child,  the two of you being to lean closer to another, the clear goal in mind being each other’s lips

because honestly you’d come this far now, might as well give him a .... 

“wait!” he suddenly interrupts  he glances at the digital clock on the wall, remembering your final lesson officially ends at 4

because no way in hell was he going to get fired for kissing a student on the clock 

3:59 

.....

4:00 

“okay now,” he smiles, and you only roll your eyes, happy to have taken up on those swimming lessons. 

a/n : i was gonna make this longer but this was always meant to be a small little head canon so :))) pls give this a like, comment, or a reblog if you enjoyed it !! (if u can of course) and my ask box is always open for whatever !! :)) see yall next time 💞