#my friend n i were talking about how lonely it is until u let them into ur life n true it’s so easy w white ppl bc they’re everywhere but

[hwaflms]

round & round! ★ [ l.dh ]

{💭} hyuck : i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you, but now everyone’s kissing you except me :/

[☆] pairing. haechan x reader, slight jaemin x reader ft. 00’ line, chaewon of lesserafim and sieun of stayc

[☆] genre. smut + fluff | stoner!nct, pwp bc it’s me

[☆] wc. 6.1k

[☆] warnings. explicit content (mdni), weed/marijuana use, lots of making out, slight choking, dirty talk, fingering, sexual stuff in a semi-public place, use of the word ‘slut��, very slight degradation, not very proofread, pretty tame tbh

[☆] notes. my first time writing again in like??? two years???? istg i didn’t mean to abandon this acc 😞 pls be nice i haven’t written in a while and this is not my most favourite work but i’m warming up for more stuff in da future i just wanted to post a lil self-indulgent smth abt hyuck bc bf☝️ idk how active i’ll be because of uni and other things but i missed u guys!!! any feedback is appreciated enjoy :p

even through the clouds of smoke engulfing the little living room of jeno and jaemin’s shared flat, your hooded eyes still met.

today was an important day amongst your friend group; it was chaewon’s first time smoking up with everyone. your friends weren’t really the type to pressure anyone into doing anything they weren’t sure about, but considering the astounding majority who enjoyed smoking some variation of weed, group sessions were a frequent occurrence. you either joined in or didn’t, chaewon being the latter until she decided of her own accord that she was going to try it with the people she trusted.

you sesh with jeno most often, seeing as he was the one who introduced you to weed and taught you everything you know about it. after weeks of listening to you complain about sleepless nights, jeno suggested you try smoking a joint before you go to bed, especially since it was starting to affect your attendance. (“i can’t keep attending these zoology classes without you, y/n. every time something stupid happens, i laugh and make a joke out loud because i forget you aren’t there, and now i’m pretty sure people think i’m either insane or just really fucking lonely”.)

now, smoking up has been a pretty regular occurrence, especially since jeno introduced you to a bunch of his friends and vice versa, all of you making up one big, happy group of stoners. chaewon and sieun were your friends who got along with everyone else just fine, and though they didn’t hang out with the others as much as you did, they were still welcome whenever.

presently, you are leaning back against the couch, all the way on the end, because jaemin is sprawled out alongside you, opting to rest his legs on your lap. haechan makes a joke that you don’t understand, but you laugh anyway along with everyone else, except renjun who covers up his laugh with cough.

“you can never let me have it, huh?”, hyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes at renjun who’s mouth forms a thin line. “i know for a fact you find me funny.”

you hear that he makes a remark back at haechan but what he says doesn’t register in your head, everything sounding far away. remembering the special occasion, you turn to face chaewon and sieun, who are giggling away on the floor about something between the two of them. you don’t know what they said but you smile anyway. she clearly seemed like she was having a good trip, and so was everyone else.

swallowing nothing, you realise how dry your throat feels, and with that realisation came this undeniable desire for some form of liquid. “jen,”, you tilt your head back and call out to the boy who was already rolling another joint on the table behind you. “did you end up buying more coke?”

“check the fridge”, he mumbles without looking at you, tongue poking his cheek out of concentration as he focuses on what he was doing. with a groan, you heave jaemin’s legs off your lap, muttering a couple ‘sorry’s when he starts to complain about the change in position.

you all but float to the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and spotting the fresh cans of coke placed neatly in the overcrowded appliance. the first gulp feels like heaven against your parched throat, taking a few more while standing there.

“you gonna share or no?”, a voice startles you, turning to find haechan’s figure looming right behind you with a dopey smile on his face.

“god, we need to get you a bell or something. i never hear you coming”, you roll your eyes before grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. you’re disappointed to see that there was no ice in their freezer, but you pour the drink into the glass anyway.

“why are you pouring it into a glass?”, haechan furrows his eyebrows, looking pointedly between the glass and the literal can in your hand. “now we have to wash two glasses when we could’ve just drank it from the can.”

he’s right, of course, but you’re not gonna tell him that. instead, you pretend that you were planning on adding some lemon juice to the drink because you saw it on instagram. while you figure he doesn’t believe you, he humours you anyway and tries your little concoction, which ends up being pretty damn good.

out of all of jeno’s friends, haechan definitely stood out to you. you didn’t really understand why, you were just drawn to him, even way back before you met him, when jeno used to tell you about his friends. “loud and annoying” were the words he used to describe him, but the smile that appeared on his face anyway let you know that he was someone special to jeno. this was not to say his other friends weren’t special, you got along incredibly well with all of them, meshing right in with their group.

as of right on cue, jaemin’s voice loudly sounds out from the living room, “are you guys fucking in there or what?”.

sighing, you pick up your glass and begin to walk out of the kitchen, but not before purposely knocking haechan’s shoulder when you walk past him, hearing him snort before following you out as you exit the room. perhaps if you had lingered in the kitchen for a couple seconds longer, you would’ve heard haechan muttering something along the lines of “i wish” under his breath.

“jeez, took you long enough, can i have some of that?”, renjun drawls, lifting himself off the armchair with a smile, to which you roll your eyes but pass him your glass anyway. you sit down on the floor opposite the couch and he looks as if he is about to compliment your drink-making skills before haechan cuts him off.

“dude, chaewon and sieun look like they’re about to fall asleep, let’s do something”, he half yawns out, opting to stroll over to your spot on the floor and sinking down next to you.

“not…sleepy…”, chaewon murmurs, but her voice is muffled because her cheek is pressed against sieun’s shoulder, both of them sprawled out on the floor like it was a comfortable bed.

“sure you aren’t…”, jeno chides with a smile, getting up from the table to walk over to where all of you were situated. he twirls his newly rolled joint between his fingers, finally holding it out in his palm as if it were some magical gadget, and if you were being fully honest, you were sold. “round 2? or 3, I can’t really remember…”

some words of agreement were muttered across the room, chaewon and sieun even groggily getting up from what looked like a very comfortable napping spot. another rotation began, and you made sure to blow out your smoke directly into an unsuspecting haechan’s face when it was your turn.

“let’s play a game or something”, jaemin suggests, taking a long puff and passing it to jeno who sat beside him, and soon the room was hazy once again, the smell of weed infiltrating your nostrils.

“like what?”, chaewon coughs weakly in between her hit and renjun pats her back before he hands her your coke that you hadn’t received back after you gave it to him. so long for that.

“monopoly?”, jeno offers with a shrug and haechan lets out an obnoxious snore as a reply, making you laugh but you cover it up with a cough when you meet jeno’s playfully narrowed eyes. “okay then, big guy, what’s your incredible idea?”

haechan appears to actually think about it for a moment, looking around the room for some sort of inspiration maybe, until his eyes land on you.

“okay jaemin, get that empty wine bottle from last week, we’re playing spin the bottle”, he is grinning from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows even though all his suggestion receives is a bunch of groans and sighs.

your eyebrows are raised however, and you try not to let your reaction show too much on your face. spin the bottle? you hadn’t played that since you were maybe fourteen, but that was the least of your concerns at the moment. haechan wanted to play spin the bottle? who was he hoping to kiss? or was it just a whimsical little suggestion that was more of a joke?

it didn’t fully seem like he meant it as a joke, judging by his expression as he awaited some actual responses from the group. “what are we, fourteen?”, renjun might as well have read your mind, but he soon joins you and haechan on the floor, the others following suit. jaemin presents the empty bottle and places it in the middle of the little circle you have formed, everyone seeming slightly more keen as the joint runs out.

maybe it was the thc talking, but it didn’t really seem like a bad idea to you anymore. you were all single, attractive and close enough that it wouldn’t make things weird, and most importantly, you wouldn’t mind getting more familiar with haechan’s lips.

you shocked your own self with the sudden lewd thoughts in your head about the male sitting next to you, squirming in your position slightly. he turns his head towards you like he could hear your thoughts (“shut up, y/n, he can’t hear your thoughts…right?”) and you swear his eyes soften a bit. “are you sure you wanna play?”, he asks softly, mistaking your tenseness for discomfort, but you shake your head a little too quickly for your liking.

“no, no, let’s play, it’s not like we have anything better to do, right?”, you feign indifference and after everyone else agrees, the bottle is spun for the first time by haechan.

much to renjun’s dismay, it lands on him, and it’s almost comical the way he looks at the bottle pointing at him before slowly looking up at haechan. “renjunnie, let me kiss you”, haechan whines in a high pitched tone while drawing out the “you”, puckering his lips expectantly. the next three minutes consist of renjun listing every single person he would rather kiss than haechan, and you’d have half the mind to volunteer yourself if you weren’t clutching at your sides laughing at the whole exchange, slapping at both jeno and sieun who tried and failed to dodge your waving hands.

renjun finally relents when chaewon suggests he lets him kiss his cheek instead, but haechan is no quitter so he makes sure that he plants the loudest, most wet kiss on his face before sighing in victory when he sits back down. renjun is not the most happy with this, and he tells jaemin to take his turn instead while he rushes off to the bathroom to wash his face. hyuck looks indignant, calling out behind renjun, asking if he wants another one.

taking the turn instead of renjun, jaemin spins the bottle harshly, and it spins and spins and spins for what seemed like an eternity. your eyes are so focused on the way the bottle looks as it spins that you don’t even notice that it has stopped, until jeno nudges you with his shoulder. it’s neck is pointed directly at you, and you finally look up from your trance at jaemin, who wears an undeniable smirk on his face.

while you didn’t exactly see him that way, there was absolutely no denying that jaemin was a very attractive man, and he was no different presently, the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up as he propped himself up with his arms, looking at you expectantly.

you don’t want to look at haechan right now, because you can see out of the corner of your eye that his face is looking straight forward, not at you or jaemin, just forward. you wonder what is going through his head, but your thoughts are cut short when jaemin scoots closer to you in the circle.

“are you okay with this?”

and when you think about, you are. “yeah, i mean it’s just a game”, you reply, not wanting to ruin the fun or raise any suspicions, to which jaemin agrees and inclines his head towards you.

he kisses you, more fully than you were expecting, but you had no complaints really as you kissed him back, titling your head in the opposite direction to slip your lips over his. you wonder if your lips were as dry as they felt, and in the back of your mind it registers that your friends are watching you kiss your other friend because they hoot and giggle, but you can’t really bring yourself to care.

jaemin’s lips taste sweet and he smells sweet, his touch soft as he brings a hand up to your cheek, gently holding it while he continues kissing you. it probably wasn’t as long as it felt, but jaemin finally pulls away, the remnants of his sweet chapstick lingering on your lips. you are aware of how hot your face feels when you pull away and return to your spot, tucking your hair behind your ears.

“dude, what chapstick do you use?”, you ask after clearing your throat, and jaemin rummages in his pant pocket for a moment before whipping out a cute pink tube, holding it out in front of him. “strawberry dream, baby”, he winks, reapplying it on his lips. “never go anywhere without it.”

renjun returns after god knows how long, stating that he had to re-do his skin care routine because haechan had completely thrown off his skin’s ph balance, and is saddened to hear that he missed witnessing you and jaemin.

the game continues in a steadfast manner for the next couple of rounds thanks to haechan insisting we play one more round, though it doesn’t exactly go in the manner you were hoping for. the group is practically in tears after watching jeno and jaemin share an awkward kiss, chaewon arguing that they can’t claim “no homo” because it was the most homo thing she’d seen in a while, and that was saying a lot because she was, in fact, gay.

you have now kissed sieun, jaemin once again and an especially endearing renjun, who’s cheeks and tips of his ears are painted a bright red after you plant a full peck on his waiting lips. haechan grumbles something about renjun not having kissed anyone besides his mom to explain his reaction, but jeno is quick to cut renjun off before another argument ensues.

“i don’t know about you guys, but i think that’s enough exchanging of saliva for one day”, he all but sighs, lying down on the floor dramatically. while you do agree, you’re disheartened, because not once has the bottle landed on you when spun by haechan, or the other way around. it feels like the universe is fucking with you, because really how many times can you spin a bottle between a group of seven people and not have it land on the one person you want to kiss even once.

haechan looks like he wants to say something, but appears to decide against it in the end, stretching and standing up. it is then mutually agreed by everyone that it was time to watch a movie.

“super bad?”, jaemin proposes, and even though most people had already watched the movie, no one argues against it and jeno starts setting up the movie on their big screen tv.

settling into the couch, you glance over at haechan and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling a tad bit disappointed. this whole spin the bottle thing makes you wonder about all the other times where you could have had an opportunity to make a move on the brown-haired boy.

you’d gone on long drives together, gone partying, even drank with just each other a couple of times. the closest the two of you had ever come to crossing that line was while you where dancing at a party and his arms were looped around your waist from behind, slowly swaying to the beat. you’d danced with him tons of times before that but you recall thinking the air was a little different than normal, more heated, but you also recall mistaking renjun for your professor, so you didn’t trust yourself. the moment came and went, and neither of you ever had the balls to address it, and now it had been way too long since to bring it up.

“this seat taken?”, haechan snaps you out of your bitter thoughts, jerking his head towards the spot on the couch next to you. you clear your throat and shake your head, scooting over slightly so he could sink down next to you. “what’s up, y/n, you look a little…not present. you still high?”

it’s funny because your mind certainly wasn’t present, it was in the gutter, but you choose to blame the weed. “yeah, i’m still high”, you answered truthfully, and so was he, his red, hooded eyes a dead giveaway.

“okay, perfect, i wanted to show you this stupid tiktok i saw”, he’s pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning closer to you to show you some video of a cat, or maybe a dog, you weren’t paying attention. he laughs at whatever the animal did, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he does so, and you observe him instead of watching. when he doesn’t hear you laugh, he peeks over at you but you’re quick to turn your head back to his phone, letting out a very late giggle at the video.

if he did catch you, he doesn’t mention it, continuing to scroll and show you more videos. jeno finally gets the movie set up and turns off the lights, taking up the final seat left on the couch. the movie begins, and everyone falls into a comfortable silence bar hyuck, who makes the occasional comment that earns him a snort from you each time.

at some point during the movie, haechan stretches his arms out behind him, placing his arm on the head of the couch directly behind you. glancing at him quickly, you can’t tell whether the action was purposeful or not, because if it was, he was doing a very good job of looking nonchalant. you try your best to ignore it, but his hand is resting directly above your shoulder, inches away from touching you- but it never does.

you had never noticed what nice hands haechan had before. long and slender, nails clipped short and clean, his middle, ring and index finger adorned with various silver rings. you note that he wears three rings on his left hand, but none on his right. his right hand sits on top of one of his thighs, two of his fingers drumming against it following some rhythm going on in his head. his fingers are long, and the only thing you can think about is just how nice they would feel inside–

no, no, no, stop it, since when are you this horny?

you realise stressing out about how horny you are all of a sudden is just going to lead to a bad trip and you don’t want that, and you want to clear your head. even though you’re feeling a different kind of thirsty, you figure a distraction for a couple minutes would be helpful, so you excuse yourself to go get some water, jumping up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. unbeknownst to you, haechan’s watchful eyes follow your figure as you exit the room.

finally away and in the kitchen, you fill up a glass and lean over the sink, closing your eyes to collect yourself. you can finish the movie without driving yourself crazy over haechan, right? tonight is no different than any other hangout and you don’t want to weird haechan out with your unnecessary staring and poorly concealed thirsting. you just need to stop thinking about his stupid hands, his stupid thighs, his stupid hair and his stupid kissable lips. “kissable? lock in, y/n, lock in…”

“who are you talking to?”

you wince but don’t turn around, eyes screwed shut tightly. you���ve been gone for a couple minutes and you don’t know when he left the room, but you put down the glass and turn to face him.

“what’s got you so jumpy?”, he questions, leaning against the counter. his arms are folded and his gaze is piercing, face tilted slightly to the left as he observes you. this is the second time he’s startled you in the kitchen today and also happens to be the very reason you’ve been so jumpy.

“nothing, i just…god, you need to starting announcing your entry into a room, dude…”

he furrows his eyebrows but lets out a chuckle anyway, slowly sauntering over to where you stood. eyes never leaving yours, he now stands directly in front of you, caging you in between the sink and his body. the closer proximity and dim lighting isn’t helping your case in the slightest, feeling all hot and bothered as if there was a sudden change in temperature. “what’s happening? you’re usually never like this, we’ve smoked up together so many times. are you having a bad trip?”

you understand why he might think that, what with your jerky movements, dazed staring and just overall disconnected demeanour. while you were wound up a little tighter than usual, you weren’t having a bad trip, your mind was just very slightly preoccupied. “no, hyuck, i’m fine, i just…needed some water”, it’s a half-lie you tell, choosing to not tell him the full truth for the sake of your own pride.

“you just seem…off”, he seems to pick his words carefully, eyes roaming over the expanse of your face. “no, i just…”, you trail off to try and find the words to explain this situation away, but he’s just looking at you so intensely. it’s so silent in the room and the air feels all too still, and you swear you’re trying to speak coherently but haechan switches his weight to his other leg, wetting his lips with his tongue while he awaits an answer and you just freeze. “i…”

“‘i’ what? see? you’re doing it again”, he starts, running a hand through his hair, and the muted light that leaks in through the window illuminates only one half of his face, but you can see him so clearly that even the way his pretty eyelashes brush against his cheek when he blinks doesn’t go unnoticed by you. you’re subconsciously chewing on your bottom lip, feeling a little like a deer caught in headlights. “you have this look in your eye. like you wanna…”

“…what?”

everything is still and unmoving, until your eyes zero in on haechan’s hand as he raises it, slowly bringing it to graze his fingers over your cheek. his touch leaves a burning hot trail on your skin and using his thumb, he releases your bottom lip from under your teeth, hand lingering cautiously for a fleeting moment before he drops it.

“like what, haechan?”, you repeat yourself, urging him to just say whatever it is he has to say, getting tired of this back and forth. you could sell a kidney just to see what was going on in his mind right now, because he looks torn between speaking his mind and just staying silent.

“like you want to kiss me.”

a few beats of complete and utter silence pass, not even hearing the dull sound of the television in the living room anymore over the thudding of your heart in your ears. haechan takes a small and tentative step towards your frozen figure, gripping the counter you’re using to lean against with his right hand, effectively trapping you in your place. now you really are a deer caught in headlights, because he’s spoken what you’ve been thinking about for the past couple hours into existence and he is absolutely correct.

“am i wrong, pretty?”

judging by your sharp intake of breath and open-mouthed expression, you’d have to be a fool to think otherwise. he looks as if he’s waiting for you to answer him regardless, giving you a chance to get out of this, but your voice is no longer functioning, and it takes all the strength in your body to shake your head ‘no’.

his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips, tongue peeking out to lick his lips again. “i suggested playing spin the bottle because i wanted to kiss you”, his voice is strained as he admits this, quiet and careful like he’s holding back while his eyes are trained on yours like he’s daring you to break eye contact. you don’t. “but then everyone else was kissing you but me.”

normally you would giggle at his little frown, but all you can muster up is a whisper of his name, finally breaking his all-consuming eye contact in favour of looking at his lips again. you don’t know who moves first, but the next thing you know is your lips are pressed together in a fierce kiss, your hands tangled in his soft, brown locks while he grip your waist and pull you into him.

he kisses you like a man starved and you do the same with equal fervour, not even being able to process that your little daydream is coming true. his hand comes up to caress your cheek, soon moving down your neck after stroking your face softly, using it to tilt your head for you. the position of his hand is very purposeful because his thumb presses into your throat ever so slightly, but his grip is still tight enough that you couldn’t break the kiss (not that you wanted to, anyway). the other hand snakes around your waist and pulls you impossibly closer, pressing his hips into yours.

you’re positively drunk off the feeling of haechan’s lips molding over yours and you think you might just ascend when he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, using the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. body on fire, you mewl against his lips, swirling your own tongue around his while he slowly but surely bucks his hips into yours.

no wards are spoken while your hands thread through his hair, pulling on it and letting out a sound of surprise into his mouth when his hand trails down to your ass and grips it harshly. he finally releases you from the searing kiss, but he doesn’t let you catch your breath, instead spinning you around in his hold so that his front presses tightly into your back, hands slipping around your waist from behind. this feels like a déjà vu kind of moment because you are reminded of the time when you both were dancing in this exact position, except this time you were getting exactly what you wanted.

“you know how bad i wanted this?”, his voice echoes your thoughts and breaks the silence, hands running up and down your front in a teasing manner. lifting your shirt up slightly, he trails his fingers over the exposed skin of your torso and the action makes you squirm in his hold a little, and much to your surprise, he groans lewdly against your ear. “fuck, i’ve been thinking of this for so long. kissing you, having my hands all over you…”

you get the sense he’s talking more to himself than you, but you revel in it nonetheless. his hand grips your jaw and squishes your cheeks together so your lips form a pout, forcing it to the side where he plants one, two, three kisses to your puckered mouth. his other hand slips further up your shirt where he brazenly cups your boob through your bra, fondling one of them while his tongue peeks out to flick at your bottom lip.

you’re putty in his arms, all gasps and squirms and whispered ‘haechan’s. “what, baby?”, he mumbles into your cheek, the hand gripping your jaw letting go in order to slink down to your hip where it lingers for a moment. “what do you want?”

your lack of answer doesn’t bode well with him, earning you a tight squeeze to your hip as a kind of warning. “need you to touch me”, you whisper out defeatedly, and you feel haechan laugh mockingly against your face.

“yeah? need me to touch you?”, he mimics your voice while tutting, letting his hand slip further down to where you needed him the most, but not letting you have it just yet. “think you can be a good girl and keep quiet for me? we don’t need everyone outside hearing what a little slut you’re being in here.”

everyone outside. the fact that you were just a room away from all your friends who were sat watching a fun little movie together had completely slipped your mind, but if you were being honest, you couldn’t find it in you to give a shit. everything about your current disposition was so dirty. one hand under your shirt, the other about two seconds away from fingering you right in the middle of your friends’ kitchen, while said friends were sat outside, unaware of the goings-on under their own roof.

though you didn’t think actually getting caught in this position would be the most pleasant experience, the idea of it dampened your panties and caused you to whine out loud, tilting your head back against haechan’s shoulder. you receive an immediate hand clamped over your mouth in return, haechan tutting in your ear condescendingly. “looks like the little slut can’t follow a simple request.”

even though he reprimands you, his hands begin fumbling with the button of your jeans anyway, undoing it and pulling the zipper down. one hand comes up to wrap around your front and rests on your shoulder, holding you in place, and the other he sticks down your pants and cups your heat but makes no effort to move, chuckling when you try to move yourself against it. his crotch ruts against the swell of your ass and for you, any friction is better than no friction at the moment. with one hand gipping the arm around your shoulder, you slip the other behind you to palm at his hard cock over his pants, making him let out a sound of approval.

“please, hyuck”, you shake your face free of his hand and turn to look him in the eye, and he grips your throat and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

he seems to accept your plea, finally moving his hand against you and you breathe a sigh of relief, lost in the feeling of his fingers rubbing circles on your clit over your wet underwear. he’s quick to slip his hand inside your panties, cold fingers pressed directly on to your bare pussy, spreading your wetness all over you. when he ultimately slips a finger into your tight, waiting core, you moan but it’s cut short when he slaps his hand over your mouth again. “keep. quiet.”

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would be a sight to see. you writhing in his tight hold while his hand is stuffed in your pants, two fingers pistoning in and out of you at a fast pace as his forehead is pressed against the side of your face, releasing short breaths. you look positively fucked out, and you’re both in a state of complete bliss as you grind against each other in a timely rhythm.

“my pretty girl. if i had known you wanted this too, i would’ve just grabbed you and kissed you like i wanted, in front of everyone.”

his voice is honey-like and sultry, and his fingers are nothing short of heavenly. they pump in and out of you, and he still manages to use his thumb to toy with your clit in this position, leaving you breathless and on the edge. “can’t believe jaemin and renjun got to kiss you before me.”

you’re so wet that your cunt makes downright sinful noises as he fingers you and you’re hoping that it isn’t really as loud as it seems. “you’re so wet, angel. so this is what had you all jumpy today”, he laughs like he’s stating the obvious, and you’d have half the mind to feel shy if his ministrations didn’t feel so fucking good right now.

you’re aware that you’re close and so is he because you’re clenching around his fingers, so he quickens his pace both inside you and against your clit. “you gonna cum for me, baby? right here, in the middle of kitchen, while everyone’s outside?”, he purrs against your face and you grip the part of his arm that isn’t shoved in your pants, digging your nails into his skin in a way that’s sure to leave a mark. his words make you feel dirty in the best way, not even knowing you could feel this turned on.

he peppers kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking here and there, and through the pale moonlight bleeding into the room from the window, the red blemishes that begin to bloom on your skin are visible to hyuck, and he seems pleased with his artwork. “that’s it, sweetheart, let go for me.”

your moans are muffled against his palm when you finally come, the orgasm ripping through you so strongly that you go limp in his hands, legs almost buckling at the sensation. with the added boost of the weed you smoked earlier, your orgasm is immense, feeling it pulse through your body until it’s too much, whining and wriggling in haechan’s firm hold. he holds you still and helps you ride out your high, whispering utterances of “that’s right, baby” and “my good girl” into your ear while you throw your head back and try to regulate your breathing.

in a moment, his hand slips out of your pants, turning you back around so you’re now facing him, grinning down at you from ear to ear as if you both hadn’t just defiled jaemin and jeno’s kitchen. “you feeling okay?”, he mumbles, tucking your hair behind your ear with the hand that wasn’t soaked, pressing a number of kisses all over your face as you nod and giggled, trying to evade his attack. he lets you go just to wash his hands, and it’s when he dries his wet hands on the material of his pants that you notice his raging boner, immediately feeling bad.

“wait hyuck, let me–“

as if he’s reading your mind once again, he shakes his head and takes both of your hands into his, wrapping them around his own waist while pulling you into him. “we can save that for another time, pretty”, he insists, his expression turning shy when he realises the implications behind his words. “that is, i-if you want another time, of course–“

it’s your turn to cut him off this time, but you do so by leaning up and connecting your lips again, bring a hand up to stroke his cheek. “of course i want another time, hyuck. i want this. i want you.”

your assurances do good to bring a smile to his pretty face, taking ahold of the hand on his cheek and pressing his lips to your skin gently, lovingly. “so, so, perfect.”

taking note of the prolonged amount of time the two of you had been gone, you skulk back into the living, but this time, hand in hand.

the scene you’re greeted with is a surprising one, because you find every single one of your friends to be sound asleep, much to your amusement and hyuck’s dismay. “so you’re telling me i could’ve been hearing you moan the whole time and none of these idiots would have even known?”, he is appalled, a hand coming up to rub at his face out of frustration. “i did all that for nothing?”

“i wouldn’t say for nothing”, you reveal, biting your lip and smiling up at the boy shyly. “i might have woken them up.”

“oh yeah, well now you’re going to”, and with that, he’s dragging you back to the kitchen while you giggle, nearly tripping over your own feet before he all but scoops you up in his arms, muttering to himself about having left something in the kitchen that needed urgent fetching.

[weirdtenderlove]

..my current crush being white has..

[uluvjay]

So long, London- L. Norris

Lando Norris x fem! Reader

In which you have to say goodbye

Warnings?; angst, toxic relationship, lying, cursing, lando being a bit of an asshole, crying, one sided love, feeling unwanted and lonely, this is kinda old and hardly proof read so i apologize for any errors!

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

You could tell when things when first got rocky, the way he went from being connected to your hip at all times to being as far away from you as possible.

The way his once lingering touch would now drop the second there were no longer cameras or people to keep an act up for.

How he couldn’t be bothered to give you more then a pathetic forehead kiss and small side hug when he would once kiss you breathless and hold you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe.

But you always did your best to pull him back in, sitting down and having talk after talk about how you were feeling and telling him that if he wanted to leave then he needed to instead of stringing you along.

The conversations always ended the same, him with soft tears in his eyes while you were sobbing, him telling you he’d change and do better and that you were were all he wanted.

And he’d make the changes he promised to, dates as often as possible, nights once against spent together, his eyes never straying from you.

But that only lasted so long before he was back to his old ways.

My spine split from carrying us up the hill

Eventually overtime the constant chasing and fighting had began to take its toll on you, and everyone had began to notice.

“Y/n Darling are you doing okay? You look exhausted.” Adam spoke from his spot next to you.

You smiled politely at your boyfriend’s dad, “yeah just haven’t been sleeping the best.” You shrugged the lie spilling effortlessly from your mouth.

You could tell that the older man didn’t believe you but instead of prying he just nodded and pulled you into a tight hug.

You hadn’t realized just how bad you needed that hug until you were silently crying in the man’s arms, body shaking as all of your built up emotions came spilling out.

Adam turned you two, his back facing the entrance of the garage incase any cameras decided to pan inside, not wanting them to catch you in this state.

“You know you can speak to me about anything right? Even if it’s my son, you’re apart of this family too.”

You wanted to laugh at the man’s words, in what world would you be able to open up to the man about the fact that you were almost certain his son didn’t love you anymore but both of you were refusing to let go.

“I know, thank you.” You spoke softly.

I didn’t opt in to be your odd man out

You only realized how bad things had gotten when you got a text from Max asking why you weren’t at dinner.

What dinner? I didn’t even know you were in town

When the Brit left you on read you understood that even he had began to connect the dots and that his best friend had been lying to the both of you.

He had told you he was going to a business dinner while he sat across from his best friend and told him that you couldn’t make it to dinner because you already had plans made prior.

Max was pissed to say the least but he wasn’t one to cause a scene and decided it would be best to bring it up with lando tomorrow when they went to play paddle.

“How was dinner with Max and P?” You questioned as he stepped in the living room.

“What’re you talking about? It was a bus-“

“Don’t even try it Lando, max texted asking where I was.” You scoffed before standing on your feet and heading down the hall towards your room.

“Fuck.” He groaned quickly following after you.

“Baby please, I’m sorry I lied-“ he tried but was quickly shut up by the bedroom door slamming in his face and the lock clicking.

“Sleep in the guest room, we’ll talk tomorrow.” You spoke and he could hear the sadness in your tone.

My friends said it isn’t right to be scared

“I just don’t know what more I can do, I try so hard and things just aren’t changing. I feel unwanted and uncomfortable in my own house, I’m anxious to even go home sometimes because I don’t know what the night will hold.” You ranted to Kika and Pierre as you laid on the lush carpet of their living room floor.

“Darling it isn’t right to be scared, you shouldn’t have to have these worries, this isn’t love.” The model cooed as she took a seat next to you and held your hand tightly.

“I know, but I look at him and for some reason I still picture a future and see the man I want to start a family with..I just don’t think he sees that with me anymore.” You shrugged sadly.

“Oh honey.” Kika whispered before laying beside you and throwing and arm over you, holding you tightly.

“I don’t know what to do.” You whispered to no one in particular but Pierre caught it.

“It’s not what you want to hear but as one of your closest friends I’m going to tell you the truth, it’s time to leave Y/n.” The boy began, also moving to sit on the carpet on your other side.

“You’re doing nothing but hurting yourself and we can all see how hard this has been on you, you’re not yourself.” He continued.

“Where am i supposed to go? I gave up everything back home to move with him, he’s been in my life since we were little kids, he’s all I’ve ever known.” You croaked, a small tearing escaping.

The couple shared a look, hating how their once bubbly and out going friend had became someone they didn’t recognize, a girl so broken and hurt.

“You can stay here until you figure something out, we have the room and with Pierre being gone for races and me working there’s hardly anyone ever here.” Kika spoke up.

“No-I couldn’t do that, I don’t want to intrude.” You shook your head.

“You’re not intruding, we’re asking you to stay, we don’t want you living like this anymore.” Pierre spoke up.

You took a moment to think about it, were you really going to pull the plug and leave? After spending all of your youth with Lando and giving him all you ever had?

“Okay.” You nodded.

Just how low did you think I’d go ‘fore I self-implode? ‘Fore I’d have to go be free?

A few weeks later while the boys were gone for a double header you and Kika packed everything you owned, boxes and boxes stacked into the back of the large car you’d rented.

You cried in the girls arms as you looked around the place you had called home for the past few years, hearing aching in your chest as it processed that this was it, it was over now.

You’d written a note, placed it on the kitchen counter next to the necklace you wore with his name on it and your key to the apartment along with the keys to the car he’d gotten you for your birthday.

You two hadn’t spoken in days so having to keep him from getting suspicious wasn’t hard, he’d have no clue that he’d return from a different country to find you and your belongings gone.

And that’s exactly what happened, the boy sighed as he slid his key in the lock, his body aching and exhausted from the back to back races and constant time changes.

“Baby?” He called stepping into the dark apartment, it wasn’t like you to be out at nine pm but he shrugged it off and pushed up the light switch that was next to the door.

However his stomach dropped as the apartment lit up, all of your shoes that had been on the shoe rack were gone, your favorite blanket that had always been on the back of the couch gone as well.

He dropped his bookbag before darting towards the shared bedroom, his heart racing as he found your vanity that once sat in the corner of the room gone, your side of the bed perfectly made as if someone had slept there in days.

Reality crashed down on him when he walked into the closet to find all of your things gone, your key to the safe sitting on top of one of the shelves and the boy couldn’t help but to open it up only to find that all of the expensive pieces he bought you were sat contently inside, your custom Richard Mille still right next to all of his.

Getting back on his feet he raced back into the entryway for his phone, however the sight of something on the kitchen counter caught his attention.

He felt tears prick his eyes at the sight of your necklace laying beside a folded up paper, the necklace he got you at seventeen, the necklace that you hadn’t taken off since the day he put it on you.

“She’s gone.” He whispered to himself, picking up the note and reading what you had to say, full on sobs escaping the boy by the time he had made it to the end.

And I’m just getting color back into my face

It was almost a year before he saw you again, he watched as you walked into Pierre’s birthday Party on Kika’s arm.

Your skin was glowing and the laugh flowing from your mouth was genuine as well as the smile that tugged on your lips.

He felt his stomach twist as he realized how good you were doing, how good and happy you looked, without him.

You wouldn’t admit it but your eyes had found him as soon as you walked into the venue, however you didn’t let him see the way that your heart hurt by just the simple sight of him.

However your best friend caught it and was quickly spewing out apologies, “I’m sorry, I told Pierre it was a bad idea bu-“

“Kika it’s okay, I know their friends as well, I’m not mad.” You laughed at the girl’s rambling.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.” You smiled, “now let’s go get drinks and hit the dance floor.” You smirked dragging her towards the loaded bar.

You two ended up spending a good bit of time on the dance floor, dancing until your feet were aching and you decided it was time for a short break and some fresh air.

“I’m gonna get some air, I’ll be right back.” You spoke into your friends ear.

“Okay.” She smiled before spinning from your body into her boyfriend’s opened arms.

You smiled at the pair before making your way off the dance floor and to the small balcony on the floor above, allowing yourself to be cooled off by the soft breeze of the evening air.

You were so caught up in your relaxation that you missed the sound of the door opening and shutting or the presence of the British driver behind you until he spoke up.

“You left me.”

You jumped at the sound of his voice, the voice you hadn’t heard in nine months.

“It was for the best.”

“What just leaving? Not giving me any explanation or warning? You pretty much abandoned ship and left me hanging.” He scoffed.

“I abandoned the ship?” You scoffed, “Lando I fought day in and day out for us, I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“But I loved you!, no actually I still do, you’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

“If you loved me so much then where was the proof? Huh? Because I sat around hoping and praying to the gods above for you to change and for things to get better but they never did.” You cried.

“I was trying okay?! I was doing my best to make things better-I just needed time.” He exclaimed, his hands tugging on his messy curls.

You laughed at his words, turning back to face the skyline of the small city, the wind making the tears on your cheeks feel like ice.

“I explained everything in the note.” You mumbled after a few moments of silence.

“I know I read it..I-i just don’t know why you wouldn’t let me fix things.” He spoke.

“I tried Lando, so many fucking times. I waited and waited for you change and for you to realize how much I love you but you never did so I gave up, I couldn’t keep doing that to myself.”

You kept your eyes trained on the view of the city even as he came to stand beside you, your heart aching for you to lean into him and give it what it so desperately wanted, but you couldn’t.

“Is there ever going to be a chance for us again?” He spoke up.

Your body shook at his words, tears streaming down your face at this point, “I don’t think so Lan, I love you I really do I just don’t think we’re meant to be together anymore.” You whispered turning towards him.

“You’ll find someone one day, and I hope that you never put her through what I went through in the end. You gave me some of the best years of my life but, this is the end for us.” You cried, unconsciously reaching up to wipe the tears off of his tanned cheeks.

Your heart clenched at the way he leaned into your touch, his body yearning for you just as much as yours was for him.

“I’ll always love you.” He cried.

“I’ll always love you too.” You sobbed stroking his cheek one last time before placing a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips before stepping back and heading inside.

Leaving your past behind you and continuing to heal yourself.

So long, London..

[suki-daydreams]

You're Glowing

IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED S2 THE HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC OF JUJUTSU KAISEN LEAVE RIGHT NOW !!

summary : a year after the failed mission with involving riko amanai, yu haibara died on a mission, and geto left gojo to pursue his dream of killing all non sorcerers. you along with gojo, nanami, utahime, and shoko try your best to cope with everything that's going on. gojo wants comfort, but he also wants to be alone. so, he should go be lonely with you.

tw : mentions of geto losing weight, mentions of the world 'kill', a gun is used in this

info : past arc gojo x reader, reader is a sorcerer, angst, comfort, fluff, gojo satoru x reader, teen gojo x reader, lonely gojo, reader ily, reader same age as gojo, soft gojo, cuddling, reader is also best friends with gojo, suguru, and shoko. reader is an ex assassin. angst to fluff

this is not a geto x reader! or gojo x reader x geto they are best friends - this is only a gojo x reader thank u <3

suki's notes : inspired by the song This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ ... i've been writing SO MUCH baker reader x gojo. needed to twist it up

this is really fucking loooong because of the buildup my bad y'all

enjoy ~

___

You are the only person Gojo would allow himself to become vulnerable with.

___

Nanami passed out exhausted on a hospital bed. Overwhelmed Shoko sitting on a chair. Utahime resting her head on a desk. Yaga rummaging through papers to file. And Gojo... is no where to be seen.

You are a 3rd year.

You had been trained to be an assassin since you were 6. Your whole life you had been killing people for those who are too weak or too much of a coward to do it, and you'd get paid A LOT.

But, you became a jujutsu sorcerer because you didn't want to be a murderer anymore. So, you started fresh as a first year at jujutsu high when you turned 15 to come to clean living and so you could protect non sorcerers. Hoping it would be enough for all the lives you've took.

You had thought, oh I got trained at a young age. I'm probably more experienced, I got this. Your first year went great, you made friends and many memories. Everything was going great! Until your second year and third year came around.

You were quick on your feet and silent too. There are very few people who are faster than you. You had heard of Toji, known as the sorcerer killer and many other names, he was one of the best assassins. And, he was one of the rare people who could sneak past you.

When Riko got assassinated, you were there with Geto.

Gojo told you to leave with Amanai immediately while he handled Toji. You trusted Satoru, but he was sleep deprived, exhausted from keeping his technique on for days and nights.

"He has a heavenly restriction!" You yelled to Satoru before leaving with Geto and Amanai. You escorted her until you and Geto were forbidden to walk any further. When she finally realized she wanted to live for herself. She was shot in the head. You registered what happened in less than a second.

You turned around to take action and leaped towards Toji, but he was fast. Too fast. The assassin had already come up behind you and hit you straight in the nape. Knocking you unconscious.

And when you woke up, everything was already over. You weren't quick enough. If you didn't let your guard down. Amanai would still be alive.

When Yu died, you were one of the firsts to find out- besides Shoko of course.

But, when Geto massacred the village, you were the first to find out.

It crushed you.

Because you were the first and only person Geto talked to about his change in morals.

~

"Y/n.." his voice was soft. You and him were grabbing a snack in the cafeteria after somehow managing to run into each other at the dorms past midnight.

"Yea?" You replied, grabbing a bag of chips.

"What do you think about.. non sorcerers?" He asked, you hummed.

"Well.." you said, "I don't know.. it's complicated."

"How so?"

"First of all, I don't blame them for not having cursed energy, that's just simply how you're born. It's genetics, passed down from generations. It's out of their control. But, when I was an assassin I just saw them as weak, they paid me to do the things they can't or because they're too much of a coward to do it, sounds pretty worthless- know what I mean?" you said, "but, sometimes as a sorcerer, I feel under appreciated? I don't know how to say it.."

You looked at him, "we save the world, we save non sorcerers, and they don't even know. They live everyday like usual while we place our lives on the line to defeat a curse.. to make sure a curse doesn't kill another innocent person. At least when I was an assassin, I was paid as a reward, but non sorcerers-"

"Curses comes from them." He said, you tilted your head.

"What?"

"Curses come from negative emotions, emotions from non sorcerers-"

"I would say they come from all humans, including sorcerers, not just non sorcerers, Suguru," you replied, he looked away mumbling a quiet 'whatever'. You reached up and put a hand on his shoulder making him flinch at your touch.

"Suguru, why are you asking me this?" You asked, he sighed and crouched down making you step back from his sudden change in position.

"I think.. I'm starting to hate them.. y/n," he whispered.

"What?"

"I said I think-"

"I heard you!!" You whispered yelled, "Suguru, you were the one who said that non sorcerers need protection, and we, the sorcerers, are here to protect them!"

"I know, I know..." he said, "but, that's changed."

You crouched down and looked at his features. He lost weight, he hasn't been eating, and hasn't been sleeping either. You were worried, something was bothering him. Something changed him. So, when he said that he hates non sorcerers, you knew that was the thing that was eating him up.

"After Riko's death and now Yu's... seeing how they died for non sorcerers because they're weak and can't do anything for themselves-"

"Suguru, they can't see curses, they don't have cursed energy, they can't do anything-"

"Listen to me y/n," he said putting a hand on your shoulder, "if non sorcerers didn't exist. There would be less curses."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm trying to say.." then he stopped. What he wanted to say was, "I'm trying to say that I want to kill all non sorcerers."

But he couldn't bring himself to say it, not with you.

He cleared his throat, "I'm trying to say that, I still haven't recovered from their deaths. Riko and Yu dying for non sorcerers- and they don't even know. This enrages me. They don't know the sacrifices we make just to make sure they live another day."

"Oh, Suguru.." you said and hugged him making his eye's widened at your sudden action, "I'm sorry. Losing people is hard, but it makes you stronger, it makes you more of a fighter!" You said, pulling away with a big grin.

"You never let me finish my answer, so I'll just say it right now," you said, he nodded, "though, I do feel underappreciated.. at times... What keeps me going is seeing kids smile while playing with their friends at a playground. Families gathering around dinner tables to be together. Friends laughing with each other at the mall!" You said, then your eyes softened at him.

"Seeing them happy, seeing them smile is the reward, knowing that they live another day because I have strong friends who protect them, I am there to protect them as well. And in return, I get to live to see another day with my friends. The people I cherish the most," you said.

He stayed silent, his eye's stared into yours, you saw nothing. No change in expression, no change in his eyes, no change... in his heart..

"You know, I was planning on quitting this year," you said.

"Really?" He asked, you nodded.

"I was planning on quitting being a jujutsu sorcerer. I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to go to a normal school, get a normal job, live a normal life, but Satoru killing all the curses by himself? I couldn't bring myself to leave," you said, "he would be more busy and overwhelmed."

"That's why?"

"Yes! But, I also look forward to seeing everyone again after a mission. You and Gojo, keep me going, even when you guys aren't with me... know what I mean?" You asked, he nodded. "Plus, I swore to become a sorcerer because I've taken so many lives, and I feel like protecting innocent is the only way I can make up for it. Y'know?" You asked.

"You must really like Gojo if you stayed to be a sorcerer so he didn't bear the burden by himself."

You blushed, "... not just Gojo.. You, and Nanami, and Utahime."

He chuckled, "yeah, sure." He smiled but you didn't miss how it dropped quickly.

"Are you.. okay?" You asked, he cleared his throat then stood up making you follow his movements.

"Yes, thank you.. Y/n. For keeping me company," he said, "you promise not to tell anyone what I told you?" You smiled.

"I promise! If you need to talk to anyone, I'm always here for you. I always will be," you said cheerfully. He gave you a small smile before waving goodbye. You both parted in the opposite directions to return to your room.

___

A couple days later, while you were just about to enter the gates of jujutsu high after returning from a mission, Yaga called you in an immediate hurry.

"Hello?-"

"Y/n- you need to see me as quick as possible... it's.... it's about Suguru," he said, you ran. You ran past the gates, past the forest, the hallways, to get to Yaga's office. You were scared.. did Suguru.. die? What happened? What did he do? Where is he?

You burst into his office to see Yaga pinching the bridge of his nose. He said nothing, but dropped down a file on his desk. You walked over and picked it up.

Your jaw dropped, your heart sank as tears brimmed your eyes.

"S-...Suguru.. did... this?"

"Yes."

Geto Suguru's residuals were traced all over a massacred village of 112 people. 112 people, including his parents. From this, we can conclude that Geto Suguru is the one that annihilated the village. Geto Suguru is expelled from Jujutsu High. He is to be killed on site or captured and executed at Jujutsu High.

"No, no, no, no, no," you said, your hands trembled and you dropped the file. Your hands immediately went to your hair and you yanked on the strands, "this isn't real. This.. isn't Suguru-"

"I'm afraid it is," Yaga said then sighed, "I don't know why he did this either."

Then it all hit you.

You knew.

You knew, but you were too dumb to see.

He told you.

You didn't see.

You didn't know.. at least.. then you didn't know.

"It's all my fault," you whispered. Yaga placed a hand on your shoulder.

"You-"

"Did you tell.. Satoru?" You asked cutting him off. He sighed and looked away. "Did you tell, Satoru?" You repeated firmly.

"No. Not yet. You're the first one who knows about this."

"Suguru.. why? Why?" You repeated and crouched down. The lump in your throat burned as you tried to blink your tears away.

No no no no no no no. This isn't happening. This isn't real. Wake up.

"I will tell him when he returns from his mission," Yaga said, "go get cleaned up. Go rest. Again, you're the first person I've told about this."

You didn't say anything. You just walked out.

This... is all my fault.

___

And, that's how you got here. Nanami passed out on a hospital bed in the corner of the room with a hot rag on his forehead. Shoko dozing off on a chair. Utahime sleeping at a desk. Yaga sitting at a table with stacks of papers while typing away on his laptop. You were on a sofa, staring at the ground.

Yaga informed you that he told Satoru about what Geto did. He also told you that Shoko had run into Geto in the city and she called Gojo. Gojo rushed to the city as quickly as possible to confront Geto. With that Geto bid goodbye. Gojo was supposed to kill Geto. But he couldn't.

He summoned all of you to the room you're in right now, you were just waiting for Gojo.

You couldn't bare to see Satoru. After all, you could've saved Suguru. You could've saved Satoru's best friend. You could've avoided all of this, if you never left Geto's side, to make sure he didn't feel alone, to make sure his ideals stayed the same.

You tried thinking of something else, so that your tears would just go away, but they wouldn't.

You killed the best friend of the man you loved.

The door slid opened and you stared at your feet. It was Satoru. You felt his gaze on you, but you didn't bother to look at him. You couldn't.

Yaga cleared his throat and stood up, waking Nanami, Utahime, and Shoko up from their slumber, "you all.. are aware what happened to Suguru and what he has done."

Everyone nodded.

"What do you guys think of this?" Yaga asked.

"Well, I think it was dumb how he wanted to become a cursed user," Shoko spoke up, you applauded her in your mind for being the first to talk.

"I don't know.. how I feel about this," Utahime said.

"If anyone has something bothering them talk to each other," Yaga said, your heart sank. "You only have each other, that's all you really need," he said, you tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

You hated crying in front of people. You hated being vulnerable. You were trained to bury it deep down or hide it from others.

"I don't know why Geto did this.. I don't know why he changed. But, if anyone of you have something that's bothering you, speak up right now."

"Why are you asking us this?" Nanami asked.

Yaga clenched his fist, "I don't want to lose anymore students. I don't want any of you to turn out like Suguru." He said, "so, if there's anything, tell me, or tell someone else, I don't care. Just don't.."

He sighed, slumping back in his chair.

Everyone's souls were crushed.

"I'll let you know when we have classes. Dismissed," Yaga said, everyone got up.

You pushed yourself off the couch, but your knees felt weak.

This is all my fault..

Then suddenly, all the tears you had been holding back... all the frustration you hid...

..had poured out.

You immediately fell to your knees. Everyone gasped as you collapsed. You were quick enough to catch yourself by planting your hands onto the floor.

Gojo's eyes widened.

"Y/n!!" Utahime yelled rushing over to you. You cried and wailed while clenching your fist.

"It's my fault!" You yelled.

Everyone stopped, then you sat up with tears running down your cheeks- eyes glued to the ground.

"Suguru... talked to me.. about hating non sorcerers," you whispered, as they stayed silent, "he asked me what I think of non sorcerers, I told him that sometimes I feel underappreciated, but seeing them smile with their loved one's is what keeps me going."

Utahime came to your side with a hand on your back, Shoko knelt down and pressed a hand to your forehead.

"You're burning up-"

"He then told me that... if there wasn't any non sorcerers.. there would be less curses. He told me that Riko's and Yu's death changed him," you spoke, "he said that, they died protecting the weak and it enraged him because non sorcerers don't know the sacrifices us sorcerers have to make."

"I... knew," you whispered, "he covered it up by saying that he just hasn't recovered from Amanai's and Yu's death and that's why his view on non sorcerers changed. But, I was too dumb to see that, I was so dumb and believed the lie... when he revealed his true self to me," you said, then looked up at Gojo.

"'Toru... I'm so sorry.. I could've saved your best friend, but I'm so stupid. I-" you covered your face in your hands and cried. Gojo kneeled down and pulled you into his chest.

"You are not responsible for his actions, Y/n," he whispered you sniffled into his chest.

"I could've done something. I could've changed his mind. I could've saved him, 'Toru-"

"Look at me," he said pulling away from you. He wiped your tears as you sniffled. "You couldn't have changed him, you couldn't have done anything, he chose how to live his life- people like that, you cannot change." He said then leaned forward.

"Why.. didn't you tell me?" He asked.

You wiped your nose, "he promised me not to tell anyone.."

Gojo smiled, it was a sad smile, but he tried to make it look as happy as possible, "you always keep your promises, come here," he said then embraced you once again.

Your phone began to vibrate making you pull away, you slipped it out of your pocket and your eye's widened, "it's... Geto.."

Everyone gasped and you answered it, "Suguru?"

"Hey Y/n," he said in a cheery voice, "I wanted to say goodbye to you before leaving, wanna meet up?"

You looked over at Yaga and he nodded, "uh- sure.."

"Great! I'll text you the details," he said, then he hung up. Your phone chimed with a message from Geto, he had sent you the location and time.

"What does it say?" Utahime said

"It's a park," you said, the held your phone up for everyone to see.

Bestie Suguru Blue Rose Park. At the bench by the lake at 4 pm. Don't be late

Yaga summoned you after you had gotten ready. You decided not to wear your jujutsu uniform but some oversized sweatpants and one of Satoru's hoodies with sneakers.

"Y/n, we are going with you," he said, you blinked at Gojo standing behind him.

"Uh-"

"We won't intervene, I'm just going to record your conversation. This machine only works within a certain radius. I'll just put a mic on you, it's strong enough to pick up Geto's voice, try not to talk too loud," he said, you relaxed.

"Stay hidden then," you said, he nodded.

"And... Y/n.." he said, you tilted your head, "you... are going to have to kill him," he said.

Your eyes widened as you stepped back.

Gojo jumped, "whoa, whoa, whoa," Gojo said standing in front of you, shielding you from Yaga's view. Yaga pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Unfortunately, I have to report everything involving Geto to the higher ups, they demanded that Y/n kills him." Yaga said then sighed and held out a gun. You stared at it. "Y/n is the most capable of killing him."

"I..."

"Just take it, for protection.."

"You think he's gonna hurt me?" You asked, Yaga sighed.

"You never know."

You took it from his grasp and tucked it into your waistband making Gojo look at you.

When you were an assassin- you were one of the best at handling a gun. You had shot many people. In their heads, their hands, arms, legs, shoulder, torso, you name it. But shooting your best friend? Are you capable of doing that?

You tucked the mini microphone on your shirt underneath your Gojo's hoodie. Both you and Gojo sat in the backseat of Yaga's car as he drove you to a building by the park.

"Gojo and I are going to be in this building on the 4th floor near the window, but you won't be able to see us. If anything happens, we will run out," Yaga said, you nodded.

Yaga gave you a gun, Yaga came with you by the higher ups command. But, also because he didn't want to lose another student as he said. He hid his feelings in his actions.

You fiddled with you fingers and Gojo rested a hand on your head, "you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked, you nodded. And, he pulled you into his chest once more before letting you go.

You gazed around the park and finally saw Suguru sitting on a bench. He didn't bother to turn around and greet you, you joined his side and sighed.

"So.. cursed user now?"

"Yep... I found how I wanted to live my life, that's all," he said.

"You killed... a lot of people.. Suguru."

"They were holding these two little girls captive. I had to do something, Y/n," he said, "wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

"I would've freed the two little girls without killing the whole village," you simply stated. He laughed.

"You wouldn't kill the whole village? I find it hard to believe that."

"How so?" You asked.

You knew why. Assassins don't wait, they take. Even if it means killing people who you weren't even assigned to kill. You had become a sorcerer but you haven't abandoned some of your assassin ways. You choose to act first with violence because that's simply how you were trained.

Shoot first, ask questions later. But, some people won't be able to answer because they'd be dead.

Geto did nothing but smile.

"I take it you brought guests with you?"

You gave him a small smile, "yes, but they won't intervene unless you try to hurt me or something."

"I would never."

"You also never said I couldn't bring anyone, so that's your fault," you said sticking out your tongue, you found it strange how you were able to joke with a murderer who was once your best friend right now.

He laughed, then you both stared at the lake.

It was glimmering in the suns golden light as kids by the park near you and him laughed while chasing each other around.

"I know you probably think you could've changed me or saved me, Y/n," he said, "but trust me, the Geto you knew died when Riko did."

You looked at him then looked back at the water, "it's weird.."

"What is?"

"I've known you for years, you're my best friend. Your presence feels so familiar to me, yet I feel like I don't know you at all," you said then looked up at him.

"I'm your best friend, huh?" He smiled, "I thought that would've changed already."

"It hasn't."

He sighed, "you know when you told me you were planning on quitting being a jujutsu sorcerer?" Your eye's widened.

oh no.. gojo is listening to this...

You cleared your throat, "yeah.. what about it?" You asked.

"Do you still feel that way?"

You laughed, "no, idiot! Who's going to protect all the non sorcerers when you try to kill them!"

"Well... Satoru.. duh," he said, you smiled.

"No.. I won't leave Satoru," you said then cleared your throat, "I don't want him to bear the burden of being the strongest all by himself," you whispered looking up at Suguru, "I'm not the strongest, but I just don't want Satoru to feel alone.." you said, Geto squinted his eyes at you.

"I mean your technique is pretty powerful and you're trained assassin, so you could come 2nd to him."

"No, then I'd take your spot," you said shoving him lightly, he chuckled.

"I'm not in this anymore, so go ahead," he said, then let out a deep breath, "he- Satoru told me that my dream is impossible. But I told him that- if I was him, my dream would be possible," he said, you stared at him, "if I had his power, my dream of eliminating all non sorcerers would become possible, isn't that right?" He asked

You sighed and leaned your head back, "I guess.."

"What?" He asked gazing at your bothered face.

"I really shouldn't be... saying this. But.. you're strong, Suguru. Your dream is possible with you being you, don't question your strength," you said, his eyes widened. "You and him were supposed to be the strongest... you think he left you behind, don't you?" You asked.

He sighed, "it's not what I think. It's what he did."

"Do you think he wanted to leave you behind?" You said, "he didn't intend to. But, when he was here with us we had so much fun and everything was normal."

"It's not that Y/n. He became the strongest and I grew to have a different ideals from him and decided to take action, that's all," he said, you sighed.

"You love Satoru, don't you?" He asked, you jumped with your eyes wide.

"Uh-"

"You're always covering for him even in our conversation just now. You stayed as a sorcerer so that you could help him, even if you exorcise just one or a few curses- you do it so Satoru doesn't get the mission and become more busy. You blamed yourself for not helping me when you had the chance because if you saved me- Satoru wouldn't have lost his best friend. Is that right?" He said looking you straight in the eye. Your hand twitched.

"Uh-"

"You don't need to admit it. I'm sure you've questioned your feelings for him a couple times- I'm sure you're questioning your feelings for him more right now, but everyone saw it, even Shoko," he said.

"Can we talk about something else?" You mumbled.

He let out a small laugh, "sure, anyways. I've pretty much said everything I wanted to say, is there anything you want to talk about?"

Then it hit you.

I have to kill him...

"Uh.. why did you want me to not tell anyone about the conversation we had that night?" You asked putting your hands in your pocket, you felt the handle of the gun and wrapped your hand around it.

Kill him.

"Because it would worry everyone. And, I knew you would keep the secret," he said. "You're the one I trust most."

Your heart sank.

Shoot him. You've done this so many times.

"It still doesn't make sense why you didn't tell anyone up until now. Why did you only tell me?" You asked.

Kill him, Y/n

He raised a brow, "are you stalling?"

Just kill him, Y/n.

"Damn..." you said leaning your head back, he raised a brow.

It began to rain with sunlight peaking through the clouds. Golden rain. The smell was nostalgic and this scenery is something you'll never forget. With the lake sparkling, rain hitting every surface in view, the golden light shining down on everything.

I can't do it..

"I'm supposed to kill you," you said, "I'm the one who's most capable of doing it." You took the gun out of your waist band and held it in your lap. He stared at the weapon then back at you. "An assassin like me would surely be capable of killing someone with no remorse or feelings."

"Or.. at least they thought I was the most capable..." you mumbled, then looked up at him, "unfortunately.. I can't kill my best friend," tossing the gun into the lake. No one was around anymore, they all left because of the sudden rain.

"I'm sorry, Suguru, I can't help but think that if I talked to you a little more and spent a little more time with you- you wouldn't have turned out like this," you said standing up, he followed your movements.

"I told you Y/n. I started realizing all of this when Riko died, you're a little too late now," he said, you gave him a sad smile.

"I guess we're enemies now."

"I guess so too," he said then held out his hand for you to shake. You smiled and engulfed him into a hug.

"Goodbye, Suguru... thank you for the best 3 years of my youth," you said, he wrapped his arms around you. You stayed like that for a while. Enjoying his presence because this would be the last time you would ever be in his arms again. Then you finally had the courage to let go.

"Thank you for saying goodbye to me and not leaving with nothing said," you giggled and gave him a sad smile.

"See you, Y/n."

"Goodbye, Suguru.."

With that. You both parted ways going in the opposite direction.

___

You walked back to Yaga and Gojo in the rain, but then you saw Shoko and Utahime standing behind them outside the building, they must've joined while you were talking with Suguru.

"Are you.. okay?" Utahime asked, you gave her a small smile while handing Yaga the mic that was once attached to your shirt.

"I don't know.. I want to go home."

The car ride back was silent almost deafening. But, it was a comfortable silence. Everyone was grieving, but you had each other. You hoped Nanami was doing well, he was the only one who wasn't there, yet you didn't have the energy to see him when you arrived at Jujutsu High.

Approaching Gojo on the stairs, you sat next to him and smiled, "how are you doing?" You asked, he shrugged.

"Fine, I guess.."

"You don't have to lie 'Toru," you said brushing his hair back. He looked at you making your heart skip a beat.

"Thank you.. for checking up on me," he said, but then looked back at the ground, "but, I kind of want to be alone right now."

You immediately pulled away from him, ignoring the ache in your heart, "of course, 'Toru," you said standing up.

"If you want to be lonely, you can always come be lonely with me," you said, "just come to my room if you want. You don't need to knock or anything." You said with a smile, he gave you a weak smile back. You turned on your heels and your grin that you had put on for Gojo dropped instantly.

The journey to your room felt like forever. You walked those hallways so many times with your friends, but by yourself- you never realized how long the hallways were. How many turns you had to take to get to the dorms.

~

Gojo was still sitting at the stairs leading to Jujutsu High, he didn't know long he was sitting there exactly, but it must've been a while. His legs were spread while he rested his cheek in the palm of his hand "how are you holding up?" Yaga asked, he scoffed and kicked a rock.

"Well, I'm here."

Yaga sighed, "do you want to quit being a sorcerer?"

Gojo sat up right, "no, surprisingly. I found how I want to live."

"And, how is that?" Yaga asked.

With a deep breath Gojo sighed, "I want to become a teacher at jujutsu high to make sure the next generation become strong intelligent sorcerers who reset the Jujutsu world. Instead of hiding like the higher ups."

"It's possible," Yaga said, Gojo threw his head back.

"I know it is. How long have I been sitting here?" Satoru asked, the sun had already set and when he sat on the stairs the sun was bright in the sky.

"More than two hours."

They stayed silent for a while until Yaga spoke up.

"... have you.. checked on Y/n?" He asked, Gojo's eyes widened.

~

And that's how Satoru found himself sprinting through the gates, the hallways of jujutsu high to your room. He totally forgot, he was so overwhelmed with everything else, he forgot about you.

He cursed at himself for pushing you away.

He stopped at his room to change into a fresh pair of pajamas then resumed running back to you. Once he made it in front of your door he let out a deep breath.

"Just come to my room if you want. You don't need to knock or anything."

He placed his hand on the knob and twisted it open. Your room was clean, neatly organized. He remember the time you told him that if your room was messy- you'd go insane. He shut the door quietly behind him.

There was moonlight peeking through your window and rested ontop of your body, bed, and parts of your room.

You were on your bed, curled in the fetal position with your head buried in the pillows. As he made his way over to your figure- he didn't miss how your jujutsu uniform was thrown in the trash. Your skirt sunk deep in the bag with your sweater barely hanging on the rim of the trashcan. You had thrown it away making him nervous.

Were you going to quit being a jujutsu sorcerer for real? He remembered Geto mentioning it in your conversation with him today.

He cleared his throat and diverted his attention back to you, "hey Y/n-"

"Ah!" you said sitting up at his voice. You wiped your tears away and flipped your tear-stained pillow to the dry side, "Toru! Hi! Sorry, I didn't hear you," you smiled, "is there something wrong?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Oh.. what is it?"

He pointed at square at your chest, "you trying to hide the fact that you were crying."

You shrugged, "I mean you scared me."

"So?" He said, then sighed wiping your wet cheeks, "just be yourself."

"I'm just not used to people seeing me cry," you smiled as he took off his sunglasses and placed them on your nightstand.

"You can cry around me, Y/n," he said, staring straight at you with those gorgeous blue irises. "Can I.. be lonely with you?" He asked, you gave him a small smile.

"Of course-"

He tackled you onto the bed, burying his face into your neck.

"Why didn't you give up being a sorcerer and live a normal life?" He asked, you leaned your head back and stared at the ceiling.

"I.. swore to myself that I would become a sorcerer to make up for all the lives I took," you said, "I also didn't want you to become more busy than you are now."

"Thanks for not leaving me," he said, you smiled slightly.

"How are you doing? Do you want to talk about anything?" You asked, he sighed.

"I think if I say anything, I'll just cry."

"Let it all out, 'Toru, it's just me and you anyways. There is no one else."

He looked up at you because of your words. The things he'd do for you. He'd give heaven to you, he'd move mountains for you, he'd do it all. Yet, he couldn't save you from the pain. If he just saved Geto, he could've saved you from the pain you're experiencing now.

He buried his face in your neck.

"I'm sorry, Y/n."

You buried your fingers in his white strands of hair, "for what, Toru?"

"I'm so sorry. I blame myself.. for not being there for Geto, if I didn't go on so many missions maybe he wouldn't have changed, maybe he wouldn't have-"

You didnt expect it.

HE didn't expect it but he choked on his own words and began to sob into your neck. Holding you so tight you could barely breathe.

"I'm so sorry."

You wrapped your arms around him, "Toru.. enough with these 'if I did this', 'if I did that'," you said, kissing his head. "I know it hurts, but you can't save everyone including the people closest to you. You heard what he said, he changed when Amanai died. You and I were both there, we couldn't do anything. So, it's not just your fault, it's mine too. Or maybe, it's none of our faults. Just don't take the blame by yourself, okay?"

You didn't care if you were letting yourself go and showering him with kisses. This is what he needed, this is what you needed. You let him cry into your neck a little more as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"This is out of our control. It was bound to happen. There's nothing we can do."

He pulled away suddenly and turned his face away from you to wipe his tears, you grabbed his wrists to stop his movements, "you can cry around me, Toru," you smiled, mocking him a bit. He laughed as you grinned.

For some reason everything felt alright with him by your side. Your room wasn't so cold anymore, there wasn't silence that slowly killed you, crying seemed better when he was there. You didn't feel so lonely anymore.

"Are you.. going to quit being a sorcerer?" He asked, joining your side in bed. You sighed.

"No.. I don't know yet. Why?"

"I have a dream, that I want you to be apart of," he said, you rolled onto your side and stared into blue eyes.

"I want to become a teacher at jujutsu high," he said.

You blinked, "why?"

"I want to raise the next generations to become strong intelligent sorcerers who fix the Jujutsu world. Instead of hiding like higher-up cowards," he said and looked you straight in the eye, "and I want you to do it with me."

Gojo grabbed your hand and began to intertwine your fingers together.

"You see.. Suguru's 'awakening' really showed me all the flaws in the structure of the jujutsu world as well as the higher ups leaving you to the task of killing Suguru proved my point, they're cowards. I don't want the next sorcerers to become like Suguru or those old geezers," he said then cupped your cheek, "I want the kids to turn out like you."

"I... love you, Y/n.." he said, your eyes widened, "I always have, since our first year."

"You're strong, capable, caring, reliable, sweet, smart, fierce, and selfless," he said then smiled, "kids like that don't sound so bad, huh?"

You couldn't help but bury yourself into his chest and cry a little more, "do you mean that?" You mumbled, he smiled and wrapped his arms around you as you looked up at him.

"I mean every word with my whole being," he said.

"I'll do it, Toru. I'll do it all with you, you're the only dream I seek," you said, then kissed his jaw, "I love you- mph!!"

He slammed his lips into yours and pushed you onto your back, pressing himself more and more into you while his hand cupped your cheek. Gojo pulled away to gasp for air and leaned his forehead against yours, "thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for making sure I don't bear the burden of being the strongest by myself. Thank you for tackling this dream with me," he said, "thank you, y/n. Thank you. There's so much happening right now."

Gojo pulled away to look you in the eye, "when I'm with you. I'm not so lonely anymore." He said, kissing your nose as the moonlight peeking from your window brushed against your facial features.

His stare made you squirm a bit, "stop staring. I probably look disgusting right now." Messy hair, tear stained cheeks, drool around your mouth, swollen puffy eyes.

But, even in your worst time, he always saw the best in you. He paid no attention to your messy hair, tear stained cheeks, drool, and swollen eyes.

He gazed at the moonlight lighting up your skin, your hair, your beautiful eyes, and glossy lips.

You sniffled as he cupped your cheek slowly and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away.

"Darling, you're glowing."

~ end

___

Gege was asked, “since Gojo is aware of his good looks doesn’t he want a lover?” and Gege responded with, “I don’t see gojo being sincere to a particular woman” it was translated as, “I don’t see Gojo settling down with a particular women.” what he actually meant by that is- he doesn’t see Gojo letting himself become vulnerable with a women. but, I also 100% think Gojo would be a whore too yknow so this is all about you- being the only person in the world who Satoru would let himself become vulnerable with.

suki's notes :

I want this to have a part 2 of you and Gojo meeting Megumi and Tsumiki with headcanons of moments you and Gojo had gone through while raising Megumi and starting your journey as a teacher at jujutsu high

Sounds cute, right? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

anyways sorry this was long as hell. i hope this did NOT disappoint. I will be sad I worked on this all day T~T

but u CANNOT tell me this last part w/ u and gojo did not represent This Side of Paradise. read the lyrics ;3

hope y'all enjoyed it ! have a great night/day <3

EDIT :

SO MANY PEOPLE LOVED THIS- I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA FLOP

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT I WORKED RLLY HARD ON THIS

THANK YOU

THERE WILL BE A PART 2 - you and gojo raising and meeting megumi and starting your journey as teachers :3

I DO NOT KNOW WHEN PART 2 IS COMING OUT - WORKING ON IT RN

[acciocriativity]

THE U IN US - ATEEZ SERIES - CHAPTER THREE

Summary: You weren't really the lonely girl™ of campus, but it does feel like it when you look around, and there's no one by your side when everyone else are talking and whispering between each other. You did have "friends", more like "group projet friends" that you managed to get for yourself, but they were the ones that were real close, you were there only when they had an extra empty seat. But it seems like the gods above took your nonchalant facade as a challenge. Oh, you don't think you need friends to survive through college? Bet.

Pairing: Non! idol OT8 ateez x reader (platonic)

Tags: college! au; hybrid! au; ateez! au; fluff (a whole lot of fluff and wholesomeness); angst; hurt/comfort; mentions of loneliness and insecurities; mentions of hybrid mistreatment and abuse

WC: 3,4k

N/A: It's finally here and a thousand words longer than the previous chapter! Please reblog my work and let me know if you want to he tagged in the next chapter <3

TWO MASTERLIST FOUR

You were always an early riser. The sun was breaking its first lights on the horizon as you got ready for the day, but there wasn’t a single bone of excitement in you.

Your room reflected the mask you were trying hard to wear early in the morning, spotless and perfectly organized, that was until anyone noticed how messy your bed still was.

You feel asleep early for any college major, but somehow slept a total of 4 hours only. None of them knocked on your door, and you didn’t hear a single peep or saw any lights on from your own slightly open door. They were capable of managing themselves well, you knew that, so you closed the door and were left to your own thoughts for the rest of the night.

Your brain wouldn’t stop running to all the things you needed to do while waiting for a more appropriate hour of the day to actually do them. It was a suffocating feeling, and you hated to feel so impotent. So you cleaned everything you came across at 12 A.M. trying to be as quiet as possible, too restless and tired of all the toss and turn you did already.

You walked out of your room, and it was almost like every single worry you had all night was just in your head. The cop, the plan, your father, they’re now living with you, the shopping you need to do, the paperwork you have to get, their legal documents you have to find wasn’t splashed on the beige walls and the cold porcelain of the floor, so maybe you could just ignore it before your coffee.

“Good morning”, Seonghwa said as you reached the 3/4 of the stairs, now sure that you could see him on the couch and he wouldn’t scare you. Still, he did notice how you grabbed harder on the handrail and had a hard time trying not to smile, but his ears twitching could give him away. “I’m sorry”.

“It’s ok”, you chuckled. “Have you been up for a while?”, you asked as you reached the bottom of the stairs.

“No”, he looked over to the windows, the sunrise clear on the horizon. “I did not even notice how early it was until I came up here”.

It was partly true, there were no windows on the basement area, instead a huge glass door that lead to the pool on the other end of the corridor. He did not see the sun rising and did not take notice of the time, he just did not sleep at all.

“Want some coffee?”, you said as you went around the living room to the kitchen.

“Sure, thank you”, he said, but made no moves to follow you.

Seonghwa was enjoying the quiet to put his thoughts in order, something he couldn’t do lately. The last week took a toll on the whole pack to the point their scents changed a little due to stress. Nothing was planned and neither him nor Hongjoong wanted to put their trust and safety solely on your words.

Your presence on itself was something he couldn’t decide how he felt about it yet. It was annoying how submissive and fake most of them got in your presence, including Jongho, which was a shocking sight back on campus. It was in Seonghwa’s nature to be attentive and caring towards others, he was aware of it, but he only offers that to his pack and pack only. There were no humans left that are worthy of that, Jongho himself said to him once. Yeah, he saw you before. All of them ended up on the hybrid protection department at least twice until now. You were just a human child bored out of your mind. What’s so special about it?

“Here it is”, you left the mug on top of the coffee table, eye smiled at him and then left.

Seonghwa was paralyzed on his spot. He did not hear your steps nor your closeness to him. Now the only thing he could hear was his own-scared heart.

There was a dark cloud on top of Seonghwa’s head, so you give him his coffee quick and left him alone on the couch.

Now, you had at least a whole hour until you had to leave to take the subway. It was enough time to make a small breakfast for yourself and revise your notes for today, but not to make a decent meal for 9 freaking people.

You went to grab your coat near the entrance, even though in less than an hour it would be boiling hot outside.

“Can you tell the other boys I’m grabbing food for us?”, you raised your voice as you looked over Seonghwa, at least 10 feet away, still on the same spot as you left him starting at the wall.

He winced because of your loud tone, and you signed, now aware of your mistake.

“It won’t take long, sorry”, you just left, it felt like the best thing to do.

Perfect, you said to yourself.

Perfect, Seonghwa said to himself.

He knew some of the others could mess up this new arrangement out of guilt for searching around your father’s office, but he couldn’t let it happen.

Yunho was the first to walk downstairs, the both of them needed to have a little chat.

You could only hear the click and clack of the cutlery hitting the porcelain plates. For a table with 9 people, it was quieter than when you eat on your own.

The house was always just that, a house, a balance between a safe place for you to rest in and someone else’s property that you had no control over, but never you felt so uncomfortable in it.

The night before you noticed how proper Yunho and Jongho were, but now, looking at all of them, it seemed forced. It was, because it was. Of course, they were trained to be.

“You are really serious about food, aren’t you?”, you couldn’t take the silence anymore.

Most of them nodded, a small chuckle giving a little bit of life to the table. It was true, call hybrid instincts or whatever, but they meant business when it came to food, but they knew very well there was more than that to the atmosphere in the room, and it was best for you to stay unaware of it.

“It’s just that good”, Mingi said suddenly, as he took another bite of the fresh croissant. “Melting on my mouth”, he mumbled more to himself than anything, still a little shocked at how good it was.

Your neighbors glaring at you as you left with four filled bags out of the small bakery three blocks away was worth it.

“You should have it as a sandwich later”, you said, more than happy to have an actual conversation.

Mingi wanted to hear all about your best recommendations, while San, Yunho and Hongjoong had a staring contest.

Wooyoung, San and Yeosang, a trio you never imagined would work well together, but somehow it did.

On the way to university, you found out, actually, the three of them were dance majors, not just Wooyoung. To your surprise, Yeosang did most of the talking for them this time.

In all honesty, Yeosang just wanted to hide in a hole and disappear. Never in his life he thought he’d want Wooyoung to talk more or that he would wait for a miracle, but at that moment, he caught himself doing both.

Every single loud noise made him jump out of his skin, from the sound of the rails to the loud people talking on the phone. It was all too much all at once. Your attention on him and him only was new, his face was all red, and he couldn’t look into your eyes. His hands hugged his bag against his own chest, but the weight wasn’t enough. If it wasn’t for two hands on his thighs, a clear sign of protection and sureness, he wouldn’t be talking at all.

Bless your heart, you gave every bit of encouragement and reaction to every thing he said, but it was not helping.

“S-so, we were trai-”, Yeosang already small voice was interrupted by the announcement of the next station. The doors closed, and you held tighter onto the pole as it started to move again.

“Training for what?”, you asked as you did your best to maintain the space between you and San’s body.

“There is a performance at the end of the year”, Wooyoung said it, faster than Yeosang could think.

“That’s so cool, so there’s a date already?”

She thinks am I cool? It was unconscious how all of them perked up at the compliment. Wooyoung tail seemed like it had a mind of his own, swaying left to right. Yeosang turned even more red in the face, his fluffy gray ear covering the sides of his face as he recoiled between the two bodies on each side of him. San cleaned his throat as he looked the other way, he was not comfortable with how much he enjoyed it hearing such a small compliment from you.

Yeosang was a few beats late when he noticed you were still waiting for an answer.

“Oh, hum, no, I d-do not think so, right?”, he looked over to the other boys, who agreed.

“We’ll let you know so you can come see us”, Wooyoung said as he rubbed Yeosang’s back slowly.

“I’d love that, thank you, but are you sure it’s okay for me to come?”, you asked him, then glanced at San, who was already looking at you.

“We want you to come”, San said.

He said a ‘we’, when you were looking for an ‘I’.

It was a painful and awkward silent the rest of the way, until the three of you could breathe again.

“It’s not here”, Seonghwa said a second time since coming back to your father’s office.

He was already tired due to a sleepless night, now he had to spend all his energy to look for papers that weren’t even there.

“Then look again, it has to be here somewhere”, Hongjoong was loosing all his patience as he analyzed every single paper they found left on his desk.

Seonghwa took a deep breath. Hongjoong was being unreasonable, all of them already knew that, including Hongjoong himself.

“You know there’s no reason for why he would leave that behind, and it’s clear he hasn’t been here in a good while, so why are we doing this again?”, Seonghwa put the old box down on the table, all of it was useless anyway.

“This might be the only lead we get, do you just want to give up on him?”, the last two words barely a whisper as Hongjoong took a step closer to Seonghwa, the papers left scarred inside the drawer.

Both of them did not want Yunho, Mingi or Jongho to hear what was going on up there.

Standing so close to each other like this, eye to eye, they could almost touch the emotions swirling in the room. It was frustrating to Hongjoong. They had a goal and a chance, so why would they fail Yunho now? His anger, resentment and fear towards himself more than anything filled the room and suffocated both of them. Seonghwa looked nothing but empathetic and warm and welcoming to Hongjoong’s fears and worries, even when he could only feel the opposite, Hongjoong’s presence almost physically pushing him out.

It took Hongjoong only a moment to give up, which furthered Seonghwa’s worries.

“We’re going to figure it out”, Seonghwa whispered as he kneeled by Hongjoong’s side. He collapsed on the office floor, now holding onto himself. “We always do, don’t we?”

Hongjoong’s eyes seemed unfocused looking down to something on the ground, Seonghwa’s words barely registered in his mind.

When Seonghwa touched his shoulder, Hongjoong looked up to him.

“We always do, don’t we?”

“We do”, he sighed.

Seonghwa wished to say much more at that moment, but Hongjoong in that state would not hear it.

So he only did what he should do, offered a helping hand for Hongjoong to stand once more.

By the end of the day, you did all you could to not go back.

You called Jongho to tell him to get the food delivery when it was close enough to the house. He was surprised, jacket already on hand to buy lunch himself, but it was too late for a polite decline.

The bell rang and you hung up.

You did not come to eat with them, even though you had over two free hours in between classes, but they did not know that and even if they did, would they really call you out on it? It was more comfortable for them that way, so they could be free to behave like they wished to.

You stayed to study on the library after class, which you never did, you rather the comfort and quiet of your room for that, and it was barely 4 p.m.

The list was your salvation to skip dinner. This time, Jongho had time to thank you for the meal in the name of them all.

“It’s not a bother, don’t worry”, you said as you walked out of the second store, bags in hand and the phone tight between your shoulders and left cheek.

“We can cook for ourselves, you know. Don’t you trust us?”, he had that pouting voice through every word, and it took a small smile out of you.

“Of course I do, but you’re my guests and there’s a clear rule, guest don’t do any work around the house, so get used to it”, those words hit him like bricks when you thought it was a string of fresh water.

It was silent on the other side of the line, and you thought the call ended.

“Are you alright?”, his question caught you so off guard, you stopped walking in the middle of the busy street and a woman bumped into you with full force.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”, you smiled to her, but the woman didn’t look back to see your apologetic self.

Your voice was sincere, so Jongho allowed himself to stay calm.

She does not know, she’s not mad at you, he kept repeating to his stupid mind. Of course, you did not know and were not avoiding them on purpose because of it, but he felt his heart heavy still.

“We were just worried, you didn’t say anything so… but you’re safe then?”

“I’m coming soon, alright? Don’t worry about me, I’m just shopping for some stuff I need”, you walked faster, now feeling guilty to left them without a proper warning.

The moment Jongho hung up, the other 7 were waiting for an update. The winter night and the neighborhood made it seem later than it was. It was only 6:28 p.m., but there wasn’t a single soul outside and barely any noticeable noise.

“She’s coming soon”.

Mingi plopped on the couch, relieved. He barely talked to you, yet your presence and actions warmed him, and maybe he was getting too comfortable too fast, but just the thought of you leaving them now made him want to sob.

Yunho sat beside him and Mingi’s gray ears turned to him instinctively, but he had nothing to say. He knew Mingi well enough to know this meant something else to him, it was the possibility of another person abandoning him, and he was ashamed as it was of it. So Yunho did not point it out how that mentality wasn’t good for him at that moment, just offered his arm, that Mingi was elated to accept and cuddle with.

“Do not forget what we talked about today, can you do that Mingi?”, Seonghwa’s toned softened as he talked to him, a bit different from the actual conversation they all had.

Mingi only nodded.

It was a reminder for Yunho and Yeosang as well, no matter how they felt about the topic, they’d do their best to keep the roof on top of their heads.

Before you could grab the keys in your purse, the door suddenly opened.

You watched with your heart on your feet as a yearning Wooyoung took all four bags out of your hands and disappeared inside, too stunned to say anything.

“Uhm, Wooyoung, were you waiting for me?”, you asked as you stepped inside and closed shut the door behind you.

He hummed instead of answering you.

Beside him, there was no one in the living room, and the lack of noises was enough for you to assume they wanted to keep to themselves.

He carefully laid down your bags on the couch, then stood there with a small smile on his face.

“Is there anything else I can do to help you?”, he stood there shy and small in front of you.

The contrast of his behavior from yesterday evening to this gave you whiplash. Is this Wooyoung, or that was Wooyoung? You need to stop trying to figure them out. They carried huge baggage with them, and maybe you’ll never get to see even a small percentage of it, that was clear to you. Still, it is hard to be the one that had to pretend and ignore the elephant in the room.

“Yes, there is actually, but can we talk for a bit first?”

Wooyoung’s tail stopped its course in the air and his smile faltered, he nodded.

Both of you sat slightly turned to each other, but Wooyoung could not hold your stare, so he looked at the painting on the wall instead.

He thought his minds was playing tricks on him, but you seemed much nervous than he was. Your body was screaming to get out of there and run just like his. What could they’ve done for you to be so tense? Surely, you were not scared of him if you weren’t even scared of Hongjoong or San.

You took a deep breath. Your own mind exhausted you the whole evening and night because of this very moment, you were tired of overthinking every single thing they did.

“I just want to make it clear, so we can stop walking on eggshells around each other”, your voice was barely a whisper, still Wooyoung flinched at the reminder of his own confusing behavior towards you, just like San he’s been hot and cold to you for no reason, when you’ve been nothing but nice to him. “I want you and the others to be here, and you do not have to do anything because you feel like you have to please me in return, can you understand that?”

He nodded.

“I am also not mad at you by any means because of yesterday”.

That made him look at you, because you deserved at least that level of respect, even though your face was a bit blurry through his tears. He knew your kindness was undeserving, and he would do anything to compensate for it, no matter what you say.

You wished to hug him, and maybe he read your mind, because a second later, Wooyoung launched himself into your arms.

It was a silent cry at first, you were stunned in place, surprise by the trust and vulnerability he was showing to you, then you heard his sobs and the sound broke your heart, you never heard before and never wanted to hear again.

You held him tight through the soft tears, loud cries and slurred words he muttered under his breath on your shoulder. Even when your arms stared to hurt, he did not let it go, so neither did you.

It was comfortable to be near you like this, for the first time Wooyoung understood why San liked you so much, and that did not leave a bitter taste in his mouth this time. You were warm and kind and really soft, almost better than his favorite blanket.

“Wooyoung”, you broke your little bubble, and he hummed into your neck. “Can you call the others for me, please? I bought some clothes for you all to try on”.

He was perfectly comfortable in that position, leaning into your side and the last thing on his mind was to move away, but the moment he looked at your soft eyes and pretty smile, he got up.

He should not be understanding San in this way.

Tagslist: @asherthehimbo @katsukis1wife @a1i33a @idfkeddieishot @pyeonghongrie-main @h3arteyes4mingi @huachengsbestie01 @hhoneylix @alxxxnya @queenproxy-blog @staytiny816 @loveforred @darlingz99 @sundayysunshine @puppyminnnie @officiallydarkgeek

[just-dino-maggie]

could you do 24, 28, and 42 with trevor zegras and the reader is jack hughes twin or something? xoxo <3

Thank you so much for the request! I hope you like it! I did change it up a little bit but I still think it’s cute! I really hope you don’t mind!

Everyone is aged up one year to make this work lol

24. “I needed you.”

28. “I hate you.” “No you don’t.”

42. “I love you and it scares the hell out of me!”

Being the youngest Hughes is a wonderful challenge. I’m 19, a year younger then Luke but the same grade at U of M. I’m so insanely proud of my older brothers and their success but sometimes I feel like I’m a disappointment. They’re all in the NHL and I’m simply a college student. I’m just their little sister, nothing more.

I was 13 years old when I first realized I was in love with Trevor Zegras. He was 16 and barely noticed I existed. I’m Jacks little sister after all. He was sweet with me, always asking me how my day was and making sure the other boys never gave me a hard time. In my eyes he was the perfect guy.

After he was drafted I didn’t see him for a few years. He was off to college in Boston and Jack was in New Jersey. We just never crossed paths. I made sure we didn’t, he was dating and enjoying being a student athlete. If I saw him like that, with those girls, it would have hurt too bad.

From age 15-18 I never really saw him. Until last years summer when a freshly 18 years old Y/n decided that she got to go to the lake house. I was a mess, it was a tough year for me. I was being constantly overlooked by everyone in my life. I was Luke’s little sister, nothing more.

Worst of all, I could tell my best friend Sofia was starting to fall for Jack. She never said anything or did anything about it until I told her to. I want her to be happy but it felt like a stab in the heart.

I did the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever done. I kissed Trevor. I was so lonely and he had looked at me differently that summer. He looked at me like I was something more then I had been before. I thought he finally saw me. But instead he looked at me in my eyes after I kissed him and said “You’re Jack’s little sister, we can’t.” My heart shattered and it has been that way since.

Luke, Jack, and Sofia have insisted that I come to the lakehouse this year. Luke claims that I have to because he’s starting next season with New Jersey. Apparently he’ll miss me so much so I have to hang out with him this summer. Jack says that he really wants me there for Sofia, which I understand. Sofia is my best friend so of course she wants me to go.

I tried to say no. The embarrassment of last year still hung over me but they all had really great reasons. I’ve missed all of them so terribly. Also I can’t tell them the reason I don’t want to go. It would crush Jack and mortify me.

It’s only been a few days at the lake house and ignoring Trevor has been difficult. He tried to talk to me when we first got here but I brushed him off. I’ve been glued to Luke and Sofias side so I don’t have to talk to him.

This morning I wake up early. I immediately wrap my blanket around myself and run to the kitchen to get a drink. What’s better then hot chocolate and sunrises? Half way to the kitchen I run right into someone.

When I look up at the person steadying me, familiar blue eyes hold my gaze. “Will you excuse me?” I ask politely, trying to push past him.

He doesn’t let me go. “Last year you were all over me and now you can’t stand to be around me for more then 5 seconds. What’s that about?”

My face goes red. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t. We both know you don’t hate me.” He smirks for a second, clearly enjoying the fact that I can’t deny him. “What’s going on? Why won’t you talk to me? Is this about last year… I thought we could move past that.”

“I can’t,” I whisper. “I needed you.”

He looks even more confused. He moves his hands off of me to run them through his hair. “You needed me to kiss you?”

“No,” I shake my head. “No I needed you to see me. I needed you to look at me and like me for me; despite being Jacks sister. But you can’t do that. I can’t get close to you again. It hurts to much.”

He holds my face, “I do, I see you.”

“Not the way I want you to.” I finally push away from him. I only get a few steps away before I’m being spun around and pushed up against a cabinet. His lips are on mine. He’s kissing me so hard… he’s ravaging me.

He pulls away quicker then I had hoped. I wanted to be consumed by him for a little longer. To know for sure that the desire is there for both of us. Not just me.

“I see you. I love you and it scares the hell out of me!” I gasp at his words.

I kiss him softly on the lips, “Why does it scare you?”

“In my mind you were just Jack’s sweet little sister. Then I saw you last year and you were so different. I guess 2 plus years changes a person a lot. You were still so sweet but you were grown up. Smart, dedicated, beautiful. I’ve spent the past year obsessing over you. I want you so bad but it could ruin the relationship I have with your family. I don’t know if I could handle Jack hating me, but now I know that being apart from you might be even worse. I’m so scared to lose you guys.”

His voice cracks ever so slightly on that last sentence. I hate that he feels so helpless, like loving me could tear him appart. I’m not sure how to reassure him so I just say, “I love you too Trevor, everything is going to be okay.”

We go outside to watch the sunrise, cuddling together on the outdoor furniture. Everytime I feel unsure I look at Trevor and when his eyes meet mine I know that everything will turn out fine. Because I love him and he loves me and that’s all I really need.

[willowfolksong]

Hi! I have a request but its totally fine if you dont have the time to do it :]] im going to be requesting a Sakusa Kiyoomi x f!reader wherein Sakusa and reader have this complicated no label thing going on. Reader really likes them but Sakusa's still very much in love with his ex. Reader's aware of this but still wants to be with him 🥲🥲🥲(like maybe he's avoiding doinh certain things because it reminds him of his ex or he mistakens reader for his ex and what his ex likes) After some time, maybe reader gets tired of this but its only when Sakusa realizes that he's in love with reader and wants them to stay :((( Fluffy ending pls 🥺🥲 + I love all of ur works and how u turn requests into amazing stories

you never called it what it was

- Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader

- SFW; slightly suggestive

a/n: hiiiii anon!!!! I loved this request. I don't know why I love writing Sakusa angst so much, honestly 🤣 our poor boy. I will have to apologize tho, I PROMISE YOU'LL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING FOR THIS ONE 🥺 It's just that for the sake of the story, I wanted to dedicate a whole chapter to reconciliation, and so I decided to make this into two parts. I really really really hope you dont mind 🥺✨ and I hope you enjoy this. Always let me know! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME ❤

Love,

Willow ❄

Requests are open! ❄

Part I - Part II

You wake up on Kiyoomi's bed after a long night of sex, and you can't remember where your bra is, but the imprints on your hips are enough reminder of what truly happened during the night.

And you really don't need your bra anyway.

"I hope you understand that this doesn't means anything" he tells you, when you're about to leave his flat. He called you a taxi, made you breakfast, and even engaged in small talk with you, while you munched on your toasts and drunk your coffee. But that's as far as his niceness goes, and you're actually thankful for the warning.

"I get that" you say with a smile, and stand on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. "It was fun, that's all"

Kiyoomi nods, and watches as you climb into the car and disappear down the road, before going back to his apartment.

Jokes on you, because you didn't get shit.

You always had a penchant for running late.  You were never on time for school, or dates, or anything before, really. In a more poetical way, you feel that that also applies for your relationship with Kiyoomi Sakusa. You had a crush on him for your three high school years, and only got the courage to confess when he got himself a girlfriend, starting college.

Late, always late.

You knew about the breakup, from a mutual friend. Nasty thing, with nasty accusations and petty fights that left Kiyoomi broken and lonely. More than before. Meeting him in the club was a coincidence, at least you could say that in your favor. Calling him a couple of days later to hang out, wasn't.

"This is your phone number, right?" he asks you one night, after another round of sex. You're sitting against the headboard, scrolling through Pinterest, when he sudenly shows you the screen of his phone. You're face to face with all the times you've called him.

"Ahm... yeah? You don't have me on your phone?"

"I'm going to put you on my contact list now" he explains, as if it's only normal that he does it now, after you've been having sex for a few weeks.

You watch him type your name above your number. Nothing more, nothing less. And then you get to see his favorite contacts, right before he can turn off the screen. A pet name that can only belong to his ex is at the top.

You try not to think too much about it.

But you do anyway.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" you friend asks you, worry evident on her face "A halfassed relationship with a man that still loves someone else?"

"I don't want anything" you roll your eyes, and take another sip of your coffee. Weekly reunions to catch up with your best friend are great, until she starts to actually try to give you advice. You're bad with advice "Didn't you heard me? We're keeping it casual"

"Casual" your friend repeats, unimpressed.

You nod "Yeah. Having fun. No strings attached"

"No strings attached with your high school crush? I don't know, it sounds like you've been attached from way before he even knew your name"

"That was before" you whine "I'm a grown up now. I know what I'm doing"

"I'm just warning you" you friend shrugs "Komori told me that they had a nasty breakup, and that Sakusa's still not over her. Just... watch out"

"I will, seriously. Don't worry"

You don't.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" you say, just because Kiyoomi looks as if he's been struck by lighting. You swallow around nothing and take another bite of your food, chewing thoughtfully and trying to make the tension go away "I was just curious, that's all"

"We had a... bad breakup" Kiyoomi finally answers, still looking down at his food.

It's the first time you two are having the most similar thing to a date, and you chose to ask him about his ex.

Of course.

"Yeah, I've heard. I'm sorry"

"It's in the past"

"Is it?"

When he looks up at you, his eyes seem like they're glowing. "Why are you asking so many questions?"

"It's nothing"

It's everything.

You remember why you used to like him so much one fateful winter day, when he falls asleep in your lap. You're both watching some silly Christmas movie that neither of you particularly likes, and he's so tired from practice that he closes his eyes for a moment, and then he's out like a light.

It's the softness in his expression, the way his eyelids flutter close, with his long lashes almost touching his cheeks. The curly hair, falling messily on his forehead. The soft Sakusa Kiyoomi, that you saw sitting down alone on a bench, the first day of school, waiting patiently for the gym to open. You took a liking to his most vulnerable side, and then the rest came easily.

You've been seeing each other for a while now, and you know you're not his girlfriend. You don't even have to ask. You go on dates, have sex, hang out on his appartment— but he still has his ex under that silly nickname on his phone, and there's a picture of her on the counter. A selfie she took, with Kiyoomi smiling softly on the background.

He calls her name softly, after you stand up and lay his head on the couch, just to get a much closer look of the photo you've never actually cared for before.

"It's just me" you say out loud,  because deep down you want him to feel ashamed for calling you another's woman name.

If he regrets it, he doesn't shows it. He looks at you with sleepy eyes and becomes you to join him on the couch again. You purposely place the frame upside down.

"Oh, you're not coming" you say to Kiyoomi, while fixing your hair and checking to see if your makeup it's still in place. His apartment is closer to the party your friend's are throwing, and so you decided to change and get ready there.

It's been six months of this. You think it's fine.

Kiyoomi looks up with a start, and frowns when you turn around to ask him what's wrong.

"I thought you would want me to come with you"

"I know you don't like parties. So no"

He still looks incredibly surprised, and folds his arms over his chest when you sit beside him to put your shoes on "Are you sure?"

"Do you want to come?"

He doesn't hesitates "No"

"Then that's it. I wouldn't want to force you to do something you don't like"

You finish up with your heels to find him staring at you odly. There's something swimming in the dark of his eyes, that makes you simultaneously want to kiss him and step away from him. You do neither, staying frozen in place under his gaze.

"I'm not very... used to that" he finally whispers.

You purse your lips and stand up with a huff.

Of course he's not.

"I'm not your ex, Kiyoomi"

"I know that" he says, and you don't find any bite in his voice. It's still soft, and almost unsure, and you can't resist looking back. He's watching his hands intently. "I know that"

You really wish he did

"She called me" he tells you during dinner. You're both at your appartment, because apparently that's something you do now.

You know who 'she' is without having to ask.

"Oh?"

"Said she's in town, and wants to stop by to get some things she left behind at my place"

"I see"

"So I don't think we can see each other this Saturday"

You drink your wine in one go. Kiyoomi watches you nod out of the corner of his eye, before you go back to the meal you prepared specifically for him. He thought you didn't knew how to cook. He was wrong, of course. She was the one that didn't knew how to.

Just a simple confusion, really.

"It's alright" you lie.

"I think I'm in love with him" you say to your friend on the phone, and then pause, waiting for her to talk. When she doesn't, you press on, fed up with yourself, with her, with Kiyoomi and with the world "Aren't you going to say I told you so?"

"I know" it's what she says "I'm sorry"

You nod, even tho she can't see you, and cry yourself to sleep.

You call him on Friday, to tell him that you want to show him a special place. He's slightly reluctant, but agrees to go with you anyway. It's been getting easier, to go out and go to different places together. You think about that during the ride, while Kiyoomi silently looks out the window. It's been a year since you started whatever you have. From only hanging out in his appartament to slowly starting going places, you've come a long way. If only...

"Why are we here?" Kiyoomi asks, closing the car door behind him.

You breathe in, smile, and take off your shoes. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"I used to come here a lot. When we lived nearby"

"You used to live around here?"

You nod, and make your way to the ocean. You're not sure if Kiyoomi will follow, but you flop down on the sand either way, bringing your knees to your chest. The sun is slowly setting down, and while the sky turns every shade of red, you can only think about how you really, really wish this could have worked.

You're a bit surprised when he comes to stand beside you— still wearing his shoes, of course.

"When I was feeling down, or too stressed out, my mom drove me here to watch the sunset. She wanted me to know that as sure as the sun would always come out the next day, things would also get better" you can't see what expresion Kiyomi is making, since half of his face is covered by a mask, but at least his eyes are trained on you. "Since we won't be seeing each other tomorrow" you add, trying hard not to sound too bitter about it "And you'll be leaving early on Sunday morning to your game, I wanted to bring you here today. I know your Sunday match against the Addlers is an important one and... well, I know you're stressed" you glance at him out of the corner of your eye, half expecting for him to scoff and tell you he's fine. He doesn't. He's still looking at you with that same intensity that makes you look back at the sea, embarrased "And I thought maybe here, you could find a bit of peace. As I used to, when I was younger" you laugh, gently rubbing your arms against the chilly air "Of course, I was only a dumb kid back when my mother used to bring me here, and you have real adult life problems. But still. This is like my place and... yeah"

You feel his jacket over your shoulders before you have a chance to look up and find him leaning over you. He's not wearing his mask anymore.

"I don't think I have a place" he tells you softly.

You wish he just sat down beside you, but you know that's just too much to ask. "No?"

"I just never thought about it"

"I get that, yeah"

When the last ray of sun dies in the horizon, you stand up and dust your pants. Kiyoomi grabs your hand as you're walking back to the car.

"We'll see each other after the game"

You don't check your phone until late at night that Saturday. He had sent you a text around 5 p.m, asking how was your day.

You don't answer.

You recognize the scarf on the back of the couch. His ex was wearing it in that picture you turned upside down one day, when you still didn't knew how strong your feelings were. Your first thought it's that it makes sense she still has the same one, since it's so hard to buy winter clothes.

It's called intrusive thoughts. You fixate on small, insignificant details when you're nervous, to avoid thinking about the bigger picture.

The bigger picture being that the ex of your non-boyfriend/not just a friend Sakusa Kiyoomi is still there, and that she probably went to his game, after spending the weekend together.

It's what arriving unannounced gets you.

It's what entering a mockup of a relationship with a man that it's clearly not over his ex gets you.

Your mom used to tell you that contrary to popular belief, we take the biggest decisions in our life without much thinking, without much planning. Epiphanies just happen.

You turn around, leave the door open behind you, and calmly walk down the stairs.

You even put some music on your way home, rolling down the windows to feel the fresh air of night.

When you get to your place, you have one missed call from him.

You turn off the radio, stare at the screen for twenty seconds that feel like a last time, and text back.

You block his number, and then burst into tears.

[tobesolonely]

house hunting

A/n: hello!! I’ve been having a mad case of writers block, so @goldenbluesuit​‘s list of prompts was posted just in time! Thank you and i hope you all enjoy!! thank u @harryysstyless​ and @nationalharryleague​ for looking this over also :) Love u guyssss!

summary: newly engaged y/n and harry realize they have very different tastes in homes when they begin house hunting!!!

warnings: smut

word count: ~3.3k

my ko-fi! thank you :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

With all the joys that came with being engaged, there was a good deal of logistics that you hadn’t even thought of when you excitedly told Harry, “Duh, of course, I’ll marry you!” just four short months ago. Should you wed in the fall or wait until the spring? Outdoors or indoors? These were things that you and Harry went back and forth about most nights, cuddled in bed next to each other before drifting off to sleep.

Something you were most excited about, though, was finally owning a home with Harry. You practically lived together as it was, seeing that you were at his place most nights. Still, his home wasn’t yours—you were reminded every time you had to grab something forgotten from your apartment. Or when he was away for work and you couldn’t bear to be in his large, empty house by yourself.

So while you already knew each other’s grossest habits, (Harry loved asking you to pop his back pimples) you didn’t yet own a home together. Sadly, house hunting was turning out to be a less-than-joyous task when you and Harry were looking for completely different things.

“I jus’ think we’re cottage-style people… that’s all,'' your fiancé’s hand rests on your thigh while you wait in his car for the real estate agent to arrive. “This one’s nice, yeah, but is it who we are?”

You refrain from rolling your eyes at him. “You’re only saying that because they remind you of home.”

“So? They’re lovely,” he sounds a little defensive, but not mad. Your response  to Harry is interrupted as the real estate agent pulls into the driveway.

“Be nice,” you remind him as you open your door to let yourself out. “I understand the Craftsman isn’t your first choice, but she worked hard to find this place for us. At least go into it with an open mind.”

Your fiancé mutters something under his breath, but you know he’ll behave himself––he didn’t have a mean bone in his body. Harry’s demeanor immediately changes once the real estate agent is within earshot, turning on his signature English charm. “Thank you for meeting my fiancée and me today. We’re both very excited to check out this lovely home.”

Since you’re privy to the reality of the situation, you can tell he’s laying it on a bit thick, but your agent is loving it. “You’ll both fall in love, I know it,” she begins her ascent up the long driveway and you and Harry follow behind hand-in-hand. “Six bedrooms, eleven bathrooms, and nearly twenty thousand square feet. You can’t beat it.”

Harry seems unphased by the enormous size of the house, but your breath hitches in your throat. Did the two of you actually need this much room? The house appeared to be even bigger than the one Harry owned now––you knew you would hate staying here when he was away for work except this time, you wouldn’t have a quaint apartment and a roommate to go back to when you were feeling lonely.

“H, ‘s kinda big…” you’re trying to speak quietly enough so the real estate agent doesn’t hear you. “I don’t know if I like it.”

“What’s tha’? We haven’t even gotten inside, love,” Harry stops walking to give you his full attention. “You don’t like it?”

“Just the driveway by itself is enormous,” you feel your cheeks growing warm. “I would be too scared to stay here by myself.”

Harry hums in agreement. “Can we have just a moment, please?” He sweetly turns to face the real estate agent who insists you take your time, walking farther up the driveway to give the two of you privacy.

“We’ve not seen the inside, doll. Gotta at least do that,” Harry’s hands run along your bare arms. “‘Member what you jus’ told me? Let’s go into it with an open mind. Don’t have to place an offer on it or anything.”

“Okay…” you’re reluctant and Harry can tell, but neither one of you want to be rude to the real estate agent. “You’re right. I guess it doesn’t hurt to just check it out.”

Harry gives you a dimpled grin. “Y’never know. Might fall in love with it, puppy,” Harry leans in so close that you can feel his breath on your nose. “Besides, think of all the rooms we’d get to have a shag in if we moved in here.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“I hate it.”

“What’s there to hate? Look at how cozy it is.”

“Don’t like the color.”

“It’s nothing to slap a fresh coat of paint on the outside.”

You open your mouth and then close it in defeat. He wasn’t wrong. You let Harry lead you around the perimeter of the house while you wait for your real estate agent to arrive to let you in—Harry’s animatedly talking about all the renovations that can be done to upgrade the house (even stating he could do some of them himself) and deep down you know this is the house you will end up living in. 

“So sorry I’m late,” the agent’s voice pulls you from your thoughts. “There was an accident on the 405–made traffic a nightmare.” 

“No worries at all,” Harry says cheerily. “We’re just excited to get inside and take a look at this place. It’s gorgeous.” 

The lady doesn’t even try to hide her surprise. “Really? I agree that it’s a beautiful home, but I thought it would be your last choice given it’s on the smaller side.” 

“How many bedrooms?” You change the subject,  gazing at the house in front of you. You thought it was rather large, but to each their own. 

“Five bedrooms, four and a half bathrooms.”

You glance over at your fiancé, who appeared to be deep in thought—he was most likely calculating if five bedrooms would be enough to host friends and family who came to visit. 

“That’s perfect,” he says after a moment, squeezing your hand in excitement. “We’d love to get inside.” 

The real estate agent mutters a quiet, “please, follow me” to which you and Harry oblige. She leads you up a gorgeous cobblestone pathway that ends at weathered brick stairs. Harry lightly placed his hands on your waist as you ascended the three steps, knowing you tended to be on the clumsy side. 

“Porch is nice, innit?” Harry says to you, lowering his gaze so he’s looking square in your eyes. “I can see us ‘avin a cup of coffee in the mornin’ while lookin’ out at the street.”

Your husband-to-be was trying to sell you on the home more than your real estate agent was––you weren’t mad at it. You simply hum in agreement, not wanting to fully give into Harry just yet.

The real estate agent unlocks the door and ushers the both of you ahead of her, wiping her feet on the mat before entering the home. It was beautiful. The floor plan was open, the living room flowing easily into the kitchen which led into the dining room. Large windows let in plenty of natural sunlight, which you know Harry appreciated. 

You listen attentively as the real estate agent gives her typical spiel, informing you about the history of the house (and how all the wood fixtures were original). Harry is long gone, tucked away in some other part of the house, most likely examining the crown molding or something of the sort.

“...because the floor plan is so open, it’s the perfect space for entertaining.”

“So true,” you respond politely, looking around the space. “I was just thinking that. I’m sure Harry would agree... wherever he ran off to.”

“He’s a fan of this one, I take it?” She’s walking again, leading you to the back of the house.

“Oh, definitely. He’s been telling me we’re “cottage people” to warm me up to the idea of moving in here.”

“Is it working?”

You let out a quiet giggle. “Surprisingly, yes.”

“Babe, come look at this bedroom. S’gonna be ours!” Harry calls out to you from deeper in the house and you furrow your brows as you try to determine what room he ducked into.

“Where are you, love?” 

“‘M in here!”

You roll your eyes at how Harry did nothing to clarify his exact location for you, but you quickly figure it out, anyway. While the house was large, it was nowhere as big as some places you’ve already looked at which you appreciated.

Once reunited with Harry, he immediately reaches for your hand and pulls you into him. The bedroom you’re now standing in has floor-to-ceiling windows, an adjoining bathroom, and even a fireplace. It was stunning.

“This room is nice,” you say quietly, leaning into his touch. Harry nods.

“S’our room. Can’t you just picture us sleepin’ in here? Relaxin’?” He leans in close to your ear. “Fuckin’?”

A shiver immediately runs through your body at your fiancé’s vulgarity, but you try your best to play off your reaction as you turn to face the real estate agent. “Let’s see the rest of the place, yeah?”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

No one warned you about how much work went into actually closing on a home.

It was a long process. You were glad you had Harry, who had financial advisors, to help you close on the deal. You and Harry ended up going with the cottage home, of course, which ultimately was the best choice for what the two of you needed at the moment. 

Waiting to move in seemed like it took a lifetime, even though it was only a couple weeks. Your apartment was a mess of boxes and packing tape, and you were glad you had your roommate to help you gather the things you still had left there (since you had basically already moved in with Harry as it was).

When the day finally came to move all your boxes into your new home, you were more than ready to get it over with. You weren’t sure how Harry could remain in such high spirits engaging in such an arduous task (you were honestly feeling quite crabby), so you let Harry deal with the movers lest you accidentally lose your cool and snap at someone. He kept offering to help them move things, feeling guilty for just standing around while they heaved your extensive amount of belongings around, but they kept insisting they were fine. Your fiancé opted to contribute by going to the kitchen and making them lemonade and little sandwiches, instead.

“We have a lot of stuff, don’t we?” Harry glances up at you as you walk into the kitchen, a mischievous look on his face.

“What’s this we? Pretty sure they’re struggling to carry your things around, not mine,” you snake your arms around Harry’s waist. “Maybe we can have a garage sale? Get to know some neighbors too, hmm?”

“Weird to sell Gucci at a garage sale, innit?” Harry cuts a sandwich into four perfect triangles and sets them beside him on a platter he must’ve dug out of some box. You shrug.

“I’m sure you’re not the only person in this neighborhood who can afford Gucci.”

Harry hums in response, continuing to slather spread onto the sandwiches he was making. “Can you go offer these to the movers? Ask ‘em if they want lemonade or water, too.” He tilts his head toward the tray on the other side of the counter and you reach around him to grab it.

“Look at you makin’ everyone snacks and whatnot. So domestic,” you tease, grabbing Harry’s cheek and pinching firmly. “It’s getting me all hot.”

“Yeah?” He questions, going along with your playful pestering. “Y’like it?”

“Fuckin’ love it,” you coo, giving him bedroom eyes. Harry throws his head back, letting out a loud guffaw. You exit the kitchen and go from person to person, kindly offering them sandwiches which they are more than happy to accept.

The movers finish a couple of hours later, your beautiful home still just as beautiful, but now a myriad of boxes and trash bags. The two of you had absolutely no furniture yet, seeing as Harry wanted to buy everything new instead of bringing the furniture from his old home for reasons you were still unsure of.

Harry settled on making the two of you sandwiches for supper, seeing as that was the only food you had in the entire house, and neither one of you felt like running to the store to buy anything else. He pours two tall glasses of lemonade before carefully walking to where you sat cross-legged on the floor of the living room.

“Our new home...,” Harry trails off, looking around the cluttered space. “The first thing that’s ours.”

“I could cry,” you reply, voice slightly shaky. “Like, it’s just so surreal. We can really decorate however we want and celebrate holidays–”

“Gonna fight wif’ each other ‘n love on each other,” he adds. “Grow old with each other... so happy you’re all mine and ‘m all yours.”

Your heart swells at Harry’s words. He can always tell when you’re growing emotional––he knows you better than anyone else, after all––and he quickly moves closer to you, pulling you into his side. Neither one of you says anything, there’s nothing that needs to be said. You opt to bask in each other’s company and the comfortable silence that fills the dim living room. Out of the corner of your eye you notice Harry scoot the food and drinks out of the way before he pulls you fully into his lap.

“I can’t wait for all of it,” you wrap your arms around his neck, sucking lightly on the area where the skin of his jaw trails into his neck. “Can’t wait to have it all with you.”

“Know what ‘m lookin’ forward to the most?” You hum. “Lookin’ forward to the baby makin’.”

Your breath hitches in your throat at Harry’s admission. Sure, you’ve discussed children before––you were getting married! Still, he catches you off-guard.

“Yeah?”

“Mmm,” his hand slowly makes its way underneath your shirt, loving how he already had you squirming under him.

“I’ve got it,” you mumble quietly, moving away from him. You expertly unclasp your bra and fling it out of the way, letting it join the rest of the mess that litters the floor of your home.

“This is really the first place we’re gonna shag in, then?” Harry asks breathlessly, sucking roughly against your collarbone. 

You shrug your shoulders before moving to tangle your hands in Harry’s hair. “The entire house is a mess, this is as good a spot as any.”

“Can’t argue with that,” he mutters, trailing his hands down your body until he gets to your bottom. He easily shimmies your tight leggings down your legs, having done this many, many times before. “Gonna help me christen every room in this house, angel?”

“Yeah,” you’re quick to respond. You wish there was more kissing and less talking going on, but your arrogant fiancé loved two things: teasing you, and the sound of his own voice. “Can I have a kiss?”

“Where do ya want that kiss?”

“Get your mind outta the gutter,” you plead, tilting your head to the side so Harry can access your neck easier. “My lips.” 

You know what Harry’s going to say before he says it. “Which ones?”

“H, come on,” you whine, tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck. “Gimmie one.” 

Harry finally gives into your requests and presses his lips delicately against yours, humming in pleasure as he feels you sink deeper into the kiss. “I’m messin’ with ya, Y/N. I could never pass on givin’ ya a kiss.” 

“I’m glad,” you answer triumphantly, shamelessly stealing another kiss from him. 

“Gonna go all the way with me on our living room floor? Dirty girl, you are,” Harry says quietly, gently removing you from his lap. He helps you lay back on the floor, but not before bunching up your leggings for you to use as a pillow. 

“All good?” 

“Mmm,” you reach up for him, wanting to feel his lips against yours once again. He doesn’t give in so easily—not this time. Harry allows you to take his plump upper lip into your mouth before pulling away just out of your reach. You let out a pitiful whimper which causes Harry to puff out his chest, his ego getting the best of him. 

“Gonna make ya feel so good,” he says quietly, rubbing his palm against your core. Your underwear was still on and you knew he was approximately four seconds away from ripping them off.

“I know,” you answer quickly. “I know, H.”

“You sound impatient.”

“I just wanna get on with it.”

Harry sits back on his heels. “What’s tha’ rush? Jus’ us, yeah? Jus’ me?”

“I need it,” you say under your breath. You were usually quite vocal in bed with Harry, but something about the way his gaze fixed on you had butterflies fluttering all-around your stomach.

“What do you need?” Harry taps your bum while he’s saying this, signaling for you to lift yourself slightly off the ground so he can get them around your ankles. 

“I need you in me,” you whisper. You knew he knew exactly where you needed him, but you’d stroke his ego a bit if it meant he’d fuck you just how you wanted him to. “Hard. F-fast.”

“I can manage that,” he cheekily replies, giving his hard cock three tugs before pressing himself to your entrance. “Don’t want me to eat ya out or summat?”

“No,” you answer entirely too quickly. “Please just fuck me, H-”

He understands just how needy and desperate you are now and wastes no more time, swiftly entering your tight cunt like he was made just for you. Your body always molded together so perfectly––no one knew you better than he did. When you were really pressed for time, he could get you off in less than five minutes. Although his pace is relentless tonight though, there is no rush. 

You felt full in such a way that only Harry could make happen. You let out a loud moan as he moves your leg ever so slightly to angle you in such a way that he knew would hit your spongy walls deep inside of you.

“Y’like it? Like me fuckin’ into ya like this?”

“Love it,” you moan breathlessly, reaching to cradle your tits. Harry raises his eyebrows, pace faltering slightly.

“What are you bein’ so quiet for? S’no one here except us,” he reaches in between your sweaty bodies to flick your clit. “Can feel you clenchin’ ‘round me–are you gonna come, puppy? Come around my cock?”

His teasing is all it takes for you to cum around him, clenching down so tightly that it takes a surprising deal of strength for him to keep moving. Harry follows shortly behind you, letting out an animalistic groan that sounds downright filthy. In that moment, you were glad that there was no one else in the house because if there was, they definitely would’ve heard you and Harry coming down from your respective highs together. He speaks after a moment, chest still heaving.

“One room down, the rest of the house to go.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

as always, please let me know what you thought here!

[page150]

Not A Friend - (Sister to Oscar "Spooky" and César Díaz)

Request: "i was wondering if u could do a fic where oscar and cesar have a teen sister and she’s sexually assaulted and tells oscar??"

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3181

Warnings: Sexual Assault, Guns, Cursing

A/N: I usually don't do a author's note before the imagine, but this is a sensitive topic so if this might be triggering please click away.

Y/N - Your Name f/c - favorite color

Y/N sat quietly in her room, reading a book, illuminated by a white lamp sitting on her dresser.

Outside her brother, Oscar laughed with some men and her other brother, César had left a while ago on another adventure with his friends, leaving Y/N by herself in her room. Placing the book down, she moved the curtains away from her window. She looked at the gathering of Santos socializing in the backyard. Red solo cups in hand, dancing and eating. She remembered how Oscar had let her help decorate the backyard for the party only to be later excluded from it. Looking at him laughing with a with his arm around someone she betted that he had forgotten that she was inside.

She had gotten used to being forgotten and treated differently by people. Ever since she was born her brothers didn’t know what to do with her. Oscar had never expected to have to raise a brother by himself and especially not a sister. Even though she was only a year younger than César, Oscar's idea of keeping her safe was keeping her hidden.

She was only allowed to go straight to school then straight home, never alone either. If César or Monse weren’t going to a place neither was Y/N and that’s how it always was. She was especially not allowed to hang out with any of Oscar's friends, making life extremely lonely.

Glancing at a photo that was taped next to the window, she smiled at herself situated between Jasmine and Monse with Jamal, Ruby and César in the back. César’s friends were nice, but they were his friends not hers. He was the one invited to all their parties. He was the one they had tried to save, not her.

This left school to be the only place Y/N could socialize, but no one wanted to be friends with a girl from a gang. She was labeled dangerous before anything else, leaving her by herself. Always forgotten, and always alone.

That night she went to sleep feeling sorry for herself and woke up the same way. It continued the next few days until one day when while sitting in her algebra class, a new student was introduced. He was placed next to her and, ignoring the strange looks the class gave to him, he introduced himself.

“I’m Luke. Can I sit here?”

Y/N looked up at the blond haired boy. Her table partner had moved schools a few months ago and no one bothered to sit with her since. He looked nice, he had a nice smile and it made her want to lower her guard slightly, “Yeah, you can sit here.”

Luke sat next to her and immediately tried to start a conversation. He talked about how he moved from Florida. She noticed, as they talked more, how similar they were. They both had interesting families. He had two brothers, she had two brothers and they both lived near each other.

Y/N found herself laughing more than usual at his jokes. This led to the teacher having to stop class multiple times to scold them. Y/N never had a connection to someone like this, especially not on the first day. At lunch Luke went to sit with with her and -

“Who’s this?” César asked, suddenly sitting down at the lunch table next to his sister and wrapping an arm around her. Jamal, Ruby, and Monse also sat down. The table that previously consisted of two people quickly turned to six. Other kids nearby, eyed the two “dangerous” siblings sitting together.

Y/N rolled her eyes at the unexpected attention that was now forming. “This is Luke, he’s new.”

“Lukeee,” César trailed, “I’m Y/N’s older brother-”

“By a few months,” Y/N butted in.

“Whatever, I’m César, these are my friends Jamal, Ruby and my girl Monse.”

Monse laughed, “I’m not your girl.”

“Not yet,” César winked.

Y/N sighed and threw César’s arm off her. She turned to Elliot and apologized.

“Sorry for them.”

“No they’re cool,” Luke grinned. “Any friend of mine is my friend as well.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, “We’re friends now? It’s only been a day.”

“Of course, you’re cool.”

With the compliment Y/N cheeks turned red. As childish as it was, having an established friendship with someone made her feel nice.

“This must be how César and Oscar feel all the time.” She thought.

“I don’t know if Oscar will like you having a friend that is a boy.” Ruby remarked. “No offense, Luke.”

“None taken.”

“Oscar doesn’t like anyone anyways.” Monse muttered, taking a bite into her sandwich.

“Don’t worry” Luke smiled, “I’m one of the good guys.”

“That’s what they all say,” Jamal said suspiciously. He leaned in close to Luke’s face and gave him some crazy faces.

“Okay, great talk guys,” Y/N said sarcastically, “I would love to chat with you more but lunch is about to end and I have to show Luke where his next class is. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah I have to go, but it was nice meeting you guys.” Luke stated, before he was dragged away by Y/N.

The next few weeks Y/N spent all her time with Luke. He sat next to her in the classes they shared, they talked at lunch and while walking home after school. They even stayed up at night so they could talk on the phone. She found herself smiling every time he talked to her. Every time he offered to carry her books. He was just so nice.

One Friday afternoon, Luke came running up to Y/N, putting her items in her backpack after her last class. He put his hands around her eyes, trying to hold back his laughter.

“Guess who?”

“Mrs. Kurt, I told you we can't see each other here.” Y/N whispered.

Luke removed his hands and his face went white. Y/N turned around and started crying with laughter. She had to sit down, her face turning bright red as she continued to laugh, gasping for air.

“I don’t even want to think about you dating my mom.” He trembled, before returning to his cheerful self. “Stop laughing, I have important news. There’s a party tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”

Y/N stopped laughing and thought about it before responding. “I don’t know. I don’t think Oscar would want me to. You know how he is about stuff like that.”

Luke smiled and picked her backpack off the floor. He then put out his hand and helped Y/N to her feet.

“Which is why César and his friends already said they are coming too. Oscar doesn’t have to know you're going as my date.”

“Your date?”

“If you want to be. I want you to be my date.”

Y/N smiled, a pink blush covering her cheeks. “I can be your date.”

“Great,” He took her hand and began to lead her out of the classroom. “It’s going to be amazing, don't worry.”

That night Y/N drank water out of a red solo cup, while sitting on the couch of a kid she had never met before. This time she was the one laughing and partying. Colors flashed around the room as more and more kids came into the house. The air was foggy with smoke and smelt like a mash of perfumes and colognes. Y/N nodded her head to the music enjoying the energy in the room.

To her surprise Luke pulled her up to dance with him. She giggled feeling his hands go around her waist. She put her arms around his neck just like she saw in the movies. Rap was blasting out of speakers placed on the ground. Somewhere someone joked about getting a noise compliment to which the crowd began shouting the rap lyrics louder. Taunting the idea, almost hoping for it so the party could gain extra excitement. Y/N shouted along with them in bliss. Ignoring the past fear she had felt once she noticed César had left. Ignoring the looks she had gotten when she first walked in the party. Ignoring how Luke had moved his hands past the dip in her back...

When she felt his hands squeeze her butt she whispered for him to stop which he did, but she still felt weird. A sinking feeling sat in her gut that this was a mistake. Suddenly the small action made the party feel like too much now. She could smell the stink of alcohol on Luke’s breath and weirdly on herself as well. How did she get drunk?

Y/N moved from Luke to where she had placed her cup. Now she could see scribbled on with a black sharpie, someone else’s name. She must have grabbed the wrong cup sometime during the party. Swaying slightly, she moved back toward Luke.

“I need to go home,” She hiccuped. “I drank someone's drink.”

In the darkness she didn’t see Luke’s small smile. “Wow, I’m sorry. Let’s get you home.”

The two exited the party and began to walk home. Y/N felt more tipsy as she walked, eventually having to lean on the blond boy. She didn’t feel really drunk, she could still tell what was happening, it was just her body felt a little out of balance. Luke seemed the same way, but before they reached Y/N house he grabbed her hips. The sudden movement left her in shock.

“You looked really nice tonight, babe.” He said, pulling her into a kiss as he ran his hands on her back, slowly moving lower onto her butt, then up to her breasts.

Immediately Y/N pushed Luke off of her, moving to wrap her arms around herself. “What the hell? I’m a Santo, pull that shit again and it's over” She yelled, backing away from Luke.

“Like you would, I’m the only one who cares enough to pay attention to you. Do you really think anyone else wants to be around you? I’ll do whatever I want. You would be an idiot to lose me.” He fumed.

Y/N froze. Luke had never acted like that before. He couldn’t truly mean what he was saying. She ran into her house and locked the door behind her. She waited a few minutes to check that he had left, which he did.

After her shower she convinced herself that Luke must have been really drunk. That’s why he acted that way, but on Monday he proved that that was not the case.

At the beginning of algebra it started off okay. Luke kept his eyes on the board and focused on his work. It was okay up to the point where he started rubbing on Y/N's leg. She told him to stop but he ignored her. First rubbing small circles on her knee. Then moving up to her thigh moving closer and closer upwards. No matter how many times she moved his hand he kept putting it back. Eventually she had to stay quiet out of fear of distracting the class, but he kept going. She begged silently for it to stop. Suddenly feeling powerless as he continued to do as he pleased for more days.

At lunch even though Luke continued to joke with César she started to go silent. It was a constant internal battle. If she pushed Luke away more, it would cause her to lose her only friend. If she didn’t she would continue to feel uncomfortable. She told herself it would stop eventually, that things would go back to normal, but they didn’t.

As more days went by Luke tried to do more things. The more he tried to do the quieter Y/N got. But luckily César began to notice. He noticed that Y/N wanted him to sit between her and Luke more. How she stopped laughing at his jokes and how Luke changed his tone when talking to her. It wasn’t always playful like it used to be.

Even though César wasn’t really close to his sister he acknowledged that they had to look out for each other. Y/N had been the one to get Oscar to let him back in the house many times. She looked out for him, and he had to look out for her.

Which is why when César and Monse accidentally walked in on Luke kissing her in an empty classroom while she tried to push him off, he freaked out.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He shouted, pulling Luke off of her and close to his face by the collar of his shirt. “I'm Lil’ Spooky I’ll have your face in the dirt if you do that shit again.”

“César, stop what are you doing here. You’re going to hurt him.” Y/N yelled. Monse gently pulled her away from Luke, but she pushed Monse back.

César punched Luke in the eye and he fell down, crumbling into a fetal position. César continued to kick him in the stomach until Y/N pulled him away.

“You’re hurting him! You can’t do this here! César stop please!”

César turned and grabbed Y/N's arm. He led her out of the classroom and out of the school with Monse trailing after them. Y/N’s items in hand.

“I can’t believe he was on you like that. Shit, Y/N. Wait, don't cry, don’t cry, it's okay.”

Y/N hadn’t realized she was crying until he said that. Tears were falling rapidly down her cheeks. She choked back sobs, trying to keep herself somewhat together.

She was thankful for César stopping it, but afraid for what would happen next. Once they reached their house César guided her up the stairs and inside where Oscar was smoking a cigarette at the dinner table. Hearing the door burst open and crying he instantly got up. He reached for his gun, but seeing that it was his siblings he stopped.

“Shit, what the hell happened César. Why is she crying?”

“Tell him,” César said softly. Monse ran in and went to Y/N’s side pulling her into a hug.

“Tell me what. Why are you crying?”

“He 's not mad at you hermana. Él va a ayudar.”

Y/N sniffled and buried herself into Monse’s shoulder. Trying to hide her embarrassment she whispered, “My friend at school was touching me in a weird way, Oscar. He wouldn’t stop. I told him to stop, though. I did. Please, don’t be mad at me.”

“We’re not mad at you and he’s not a friend anymore, Y/N. That should’ve never happened to you.” Monse murmured.

The room went silent. Monse still slowly rubbed Y/N’s back and César stood tense. Oscar looked from César to Y/N.

“César, do you think he left school yet?”

“Uh yeah, school ended right after I pulled her out.”

“Come on,” Oscar grabbed his gun and began to walk out the door, César following after. Y/N ran after Oscar begging for him to stop.

“Don’t Oscar, don’t hurt hm. He’s my only friend. He’s a kid, it was just a mistake.”

“No no!” He shouted. Oscar turned and placed his hands on Y/N’s shoulder’s. Looking into her teary eyes.

“It’s not your fault. It’s never your fault hermana. My job is to keep you safe. I've failed at a lot of things, but I refuse to fail at that again. Get in the house and rest. He just needs to be taught a lesson. Stay with Monse. Te amo como una hija bebé espeluznante.”

He left with César, leaving Y/N on the lawn. Monse guided her back into the house. She remembered what her dad did whenever she was going through a lot. She treated Y/N the same way. Reassuring her that it will be okay. That it wasn’t her fault.

César and Oscar didn’t come back until later that night.

“We got you this,” Oscar muttered, walking into the house and tossing a stuffed bear to Y/N. “We saw the idea online.” It was a f/c bear with a heart on it that said ‘Te Quiero’ with little messages César and Oscar wrote on the back. There weren't a lot, but the few ones there were were heartfelt.

“Thank you, I love it” Y/N smiled, holding the bear close. Her eyes were still slightly red from crying.

“And pizza,” César quietly cheered. On his face was a bandage, but he moved his face so Y/N couldn’t see it. “Monse do you want to spend the night?”

Monse looked at Y/N, “Yeah I already have clothes here so I’ll stay,”

She picked up a slice of pizza. “Soo, what did you guys do?”

“We took care of it,” Oscar said, sitting on the couch next to Y/N. “He won’t mess with you again. If I didn’t have a reputation I would’ve reported it.” He lowered his voice. “You can always go to us Y/N, we’re going to protect you. If that cabrón messes with you again I’m coming for him. ”

“I know,” Y/N mumbled. “I just wanted a friend, how dumb is that.”

“You can always hang out with us,” Monse added, “We’re your friends. We love having you around.”

Y/N sighed, “I mean my own friend. I love you guys too, but it gets so lonely. No one at school wants to be near me. Soy un marginado.”

The room went silent again. Before Monse spoke up, “You know you’re really smart Y/N. There’s a school in BrentWood that might offer you a scholarship to go there. I know you could pass the entrance exam. ”

“I could get a job for the tuition,” César added, rising from his seat at the dinner table. “Oscar what do you think? You’ve been making more money lately. It would keep her safe. She is really smart.”

Oscar looked at the ceiling, a good sign that he was thinking about the idea. Y/N kept her mouth shut, trying not to get too excited.

“How would she get there?”

“It’s a long bus ride,” Monse remarked, “But it’s safe. Only a bunch of rich kids. Most of them will be nice to you, Y/N. You’re smart, you’re funny, and you’re strong. Not a lot of them are like that there. No one will know who you're related to. I can get my mom to help get you in.”

César, Monse, and Y/N looked at Oscar. He took a deep breath and released it. Pulling a cigarette out his pocket, he lit it. Breathing deep he puffed out the smoke.

“I failed you today as a hermano, if I can keep you safe I will. I’ll work on getting you there.”

Y/N smiled and hugged Oscar, feeling César join as well.

“Thank you Oscar. Thank you Cesar. Thank you Monse. I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah” Oscar grinned. “Get off me I’m going to bed. I think I’ll go to the beach tomorrow. Want to come?”

“Yes!”

Author's Note: My DMs are always open to anyone who needs it. I am also on twitter to anyone who wants to talk @/thepage150. Requests are open. You are important. You are valued. You are loved. Have a wonderful day ~c'k

[vynseducationalflagpole]

First Love

"How your love story started"

(Vyn Richter)

————————————————

Fem!reader

Warnings:none

Genre:all fluff and basically Vyn head over heels inlove with u

Probably not proofread(I have very bad memory🏃‍♀️)

A/N: Gonna make one for every tot man and might add the obey me! characters as well depending on my 3 independently working braincells(NOBODY TALK ABT HOW SOME PARTS DONT MAKE SENSE M'KAY? 😭)

Vyn Richter was an overachiever. He was well aware of how much of a perfectionist he is judging by how he dislikes it whenever he sees even the smallest speck of dust somewhere. Because of this fact, he makes sure that he excels in his studies. He claims that he despises his father yet even Vyn himself notices how in any step or decision he makes, he slowly becomes a clone of the man he'd hated his whole life. He hates how he prioritizes his role as a duke than never letting go of his wife which he claimed and vowed to love forever. Despite Vyn knowing well that he's absolutely attractive, he hates how he mirrors his Father's image. Everyone he knew teased him about it. Always mentioning the saying, "You become what you hate the most".  That is if he does manage to make friends in school.

He sees people as greedy beings that would only take interest with him because of his Father. He loathes how people look at him in endearment even if he's just doing the bare minimum. But you—the way your eyes look at him gently. The way that whenever he meets your gaze, you'd always show him your cheerful smile setting aside the envious looks you get from your classmates. He likes how you treat him. He likes how you treat him as an 'Equal'. But is that really the only thing he likes about you? It was subtle but he sometimes notices how he'd look at you during classes neglecting his studies. Whenever he stares at you, everything around you would cease to exist. You'd always look like a lone Rose in the middle of no where supplying the light in the endless void you stay in. He's never actually initiated any type of interaction with you unless you're both paired in a project or when you need help with exams but as the school year nears it's end, he decides to test his luck.

He's now seated on the side, drinking a glass of coke as he squint his eyes because of the blinding lights flashing around the room. Laughter and other noises reverbs around the room. Everyone looking lively and having the time of their lives. He lightly laughs at himself for just sitting around with a glass of coke in hand staring at the people on the dance floor. As his eyes dart around the room, his eyes meet a familiar figure. There you were in the distance, talking with your friends. Your hair tied up and being held in place by a clip designed like a Rose. Your red gown mixing in. He took his time to drink up this breathtaking sight in front of him until he was snapped back to reality by someone calling his name.

"Vyn—Vyn—Vilheilm!" He snaps his head to the left and hid eyes are met with thr sight for 2 men standing near. One holding a bowl—probably full of French Fries and the other standing before him, right hand in front of his face while his left arm is holding an empty glass. The said man in front of him breaths a sigh of relief. "Next thing you know, he's drooling over that girl" The boy holding a bowl of fries teases him while his mouth is full of tasty treats. The other slaps the back of his head as he reminds him not to speak with his mouth full. Vyn sits there quietly putting his attention back to you. "Fix yourself up. Honestly, you look like a lost puppy admiring your owner—wait that does kinda suit you." "Says the one eating like a pig" Vyn snaps back followed with a snicker. "Hey—!" "Vyn's not wrong though. I mean look at you, staying at painting your crush instead of actually talking to them."  "Weren't you the one that secretly gifts your crush some antiques because you're also scared of approaching her?"

Vyn lifts his glasses a bit and pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Luke, Marius, may I ask the reason why you decided to disturb my peace and annoy me?"  "Aw, look at him acting all elegant and all" The boy named 'Marius' teases Vyn which just fueled Vyns annoyance. "Nothing really. We just saw you staring at nothing, smiling like an idiot." Vyn looks at Luke as his eyes sharply pierces through him. "Anyway, I'm tired of seeing you stare at that woman like some kind of hawk—stand up, you're gonna ask her to dance." Luke continues talking to avoid Vyn's incoming scolding. As soon as he finishes, Vyn looks up at Luke with confusion. "Excuse mE—" Both of Vyns' arms are pulled up by Luke and Marius as he's dragged towards you. "Stop it— I already have something planned! YoU'RE GONNA RUIN EVERYTHIN—" Vyn tries to reason with the two but it all fails. He's now standing in front of you, his hair looking a bit untidy. Marius and Luke waves at him goodbye as they both look around, presumably looking for something. Or—someone. Also, for some reason, your friends, whom you were just talking to have now disappeared. You stare up to Vyn's eyes as he stands there in silence trying to comprehend what had just happened. "Vy—"  "Would you like to share this dance with me?" Vyn cuts you off. You were taken aback by his sudden invitation but you took on his offer. "Just follow my lead, please don't get nervous." He takes you in the middle of the dance floor as the sounds of the piano surround the room. Vyn puts his right hand on the small of your back whilst his left holds your hand.

"Put your hand near my shoulder" Vyn lightly whispers to you and you follow suit. As soon as the other people around you move, you both take off as well. The speed onto which you both move was both fast but also manageable. You couldn't describe how you felt about the current situation, but you knew deep down that you're happy about it. As you both dance to your hearts content, neither of you had realized how much time has passed until Vyn's expression suddenly shifts but quickly goes back to his usual calm look. "We're nearing the end of the dance." he whispers to you with enough loudness reserved only for your ears.

The music starts to pick up, and in response, everyone in the dance floor moves a bit faster too. The rhythm picks up, the music gets louder. You follow his steps as the music goes faster. Unbeknownst to you, the hair tie that was holding your hair up in a bun had gotten loose while you were completely bewitched by Vyn's charms. He notices your loose hair as you both stare at each others eyes. While yours were coated with worry, his were filled with delight. As his golden eyes catches your attention once more, the music comes to a stop, you see people around you already paused in a stance whilst Vyn still moves then comes to a stop. He spins you lightly and your dress flows and moves as fluidly as water. He's now partially on top of you, leaning into your face with enough distance for people to witness the events unfold. He leans in closer as his mouth goes beside your ears as he mutters something under your breath. His words come as a shock knowing well that the chances couldn't have been likely but you still happily obliged.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

A/N: it's been like a week since I posted anything— aNYWAY- HAVE THIS VYN LOVE STORY TO FUEL MY our SOUL

Nah not the crusty musty gold seperator thingy why is the quality so low smh

(huge shout out to me for learning wtf is a Viennese waltz is before tryna add it here even tho u cant rlly tell<3)

ALSO U BETTER LISTEN TO US THE DUO SONGS THEY HAVE SUCH GOOD SONGS

IT MAKES ME WANNA ICJSOCOSOCJJSIAZHXI9AOWORIJX

[han-shinsuke]

h a n d h e r o v e r

f e m a l e r e a d e r 🌹

m i n o r s k e e p o u t

[ tags, smut, nsfw, anal, foursome, themes ]

—•—

Without prior notice, he shows up in front of your dorm, dressed casually. You invite him inside but declined, telling you to come with him somewhere. You argue with him, insisting that you should change to something presentable but Bokuto seems to be in a rush so you have given up when he uses his puppy eyes. Inside his car, you keep checking your looks and it disappoints you. Unlike him, you look so ordinary. Well, you are someone insignificant. What’s the difference anyway?

“I’m gonna 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 you later, Y/N,” huh? you shot him a confused look at the use of some endearment.

You laugh awkwardly, “what, Kou?” he is your best friend and your secret crush.

“You look like a kid in your clothes and considering your height, you really look like 𝒐𝒏𝒆.” you pout your lips and he bursts out laughing.

It’s his fault! He didn’t even let you fix yourself! You were running around the University’s oval when he calls. Now, who’s fault it is that he’s being accompanied by a lady in core 5 inch shorts in black and a plain hoodie?

“Shut up, Kou. You’re annoying!”

After driving for almost an hour, Bokuto parks his car in front of Sakusa’s house.

Wait. Sakusa’s house?! You grab onto the belt when Bokuto tries mounting off the safety strap.

“Wait, Kou! Why the fuck are we here?!” you panic. Sakusa, you, and Oikawa are both in an unstable relationship. Not romantically, okay! You are their damn victim! They’re not criminals, well closer to that! Those two are your bullies and they are friends with your best friend, Koutaro Bokuto!

He taps your temple and comforts you that everything will be fine, that you won’t be harmed while he’s around, “it’s Omi’s birthday. He invited us for lunch.”

You nod your head. There’s no point in arguing. You were already there. He has your sweating hand inside his palm when you both entered the house.

“Give me ten seconds, Kou.”

Sakusa’s house rule no. 1; leave your shoes outside but if you are his friends, go straight in.

You remove your sneakers and leave your white socks on. You have been there before and you almost familiarised yourself with his rules. Since he considers you as his enemy rather than his subject of bullying, you are not allowed to sit or touch anything inside his home so you remain standing near the stairs when Bokuto runs to Oikawa in the kitchen.

You give Sakusa a nod as he descends from the top landing. He smells clean and fruity tuitee and you couldn’t help but blush when you notice his stare goes down to your feet.

Your insides trembles from the intensity of his gaze and that makes you feel like running away or hide from his sight.

Your breathing halts when he kneels after removing his fur slippers. His warm hand grab your ankle then slide your left foot in his slipper, then your right foot.

He didn’t speak a word. He just pointed you to the kitchen. His footwear is too big for your small ones but you still manage to walk comfortably.

While helping in the food preparation, Sakusa and Oikawa are constantly bumping their muscular arms against your shoulders. They even teases you that you lack in the free access of healthy foods in the fridge in your own home that’s why you’re thin and small. You 𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏'𝒕, okay?! They’re just huge and very athletic that developing muscles and all is no issue to them. And your case is different. Your height is 5'3", you weight right, meaning your body mass index is normal! Again, they are huge people and they look down on your kind. And these men prefers model-like body figures for women!

You let it all pass. You seem immune to all the teasings and soft pinches that those were no longer affecting you. Sakusa leads the way to his theater room, while you, Bokuto, and Oikawa are in charge of bringing all the foods in there.

There’s a long and wide white couch that looks like a king sized bed in the center and there’s also a big screen mounted on the wall. You settle on the lone chair in the viewing room, sit properly and try avoiding Sakusa’s intense gaze.

What? You did nothing to him!

The three men sits besides each other, Oikawa scrolls on the menu of which genre of movies to watch, Bokuto starts picking up some tarts and chews it. And then, there’s still him, Sakusa! Staring at you!

“Hand her over, Koutaro.” your face turn pale when Sakusa pulls his shirt off his body and leans on the couch.

You couldn’t find the will to speak. You stoned on your seat. Bokuto whistles, inching closer to you. He cups your face and whispers soothing words.

“Wh–what is happening here, Kou?” you sound nervous. Bokuto brings you closer to Sakusa. You grab onto your best friend’s arms. “Koutaro... ” a breathe of panic.

“You are his present to me, Y/N. You’re the desserts.” Sakusa pulls you down on his lap, he breathes closer to your hair. Something is growing in between his thighs. You look so scared. He gets even aroused.

“wanna rub my tongue on his pussy, Koutaro,” Oikawa moves closer, too, licking his lips.

“I’m... I’m not—” Oikawa stops you from talking, taking your chin in his hand. “You’re not what, Y/N?” he asks seductively.

“Kou–Kou... help me.” you hold onto his hand, giving him a scared look.

Sakusa tugs on your long hair before latching on your earlobe, “don’t worry, Y/N. Koutaro will help you. He will help you fuck yourself to sleep.”

And the talking ended there.

Oikawa snatches your face and slams his mouth on your opened ones, rolling out his tongue into you before brushing roughly his lips against your lips. Your both hands twitches, the kiss is electrifying. You try to pull away but he restrains you by gripping lightly your neck. You hear Sakusa laughs. He wraps his arms around your body, locking you in restrictions. Oikawa continues kissing you roughly that you can feel his warm saliva dripping from his mouth down to your chin. You didn’t respond to his kisses. You were in shocked. When he sucks on your lips and tongue, you didn’t recognise the moan that passed your lips.

“Undress her quickly!” still in a rush, Bokuto puts his words into action. He separates you from Oikawa’s mouth. You were panting when he pulls out your hoodie, showing your uncovered titsx in broad daylight. They look perfect and round and flushed. The three men growls, pouncing all at one on you. Bokuto has the right breast, Sakusa’s on the left and Oikawa, he moves between your legs, pushing your shorts to the side to take a good look on your rosy folds.

Oikawa licks the slit back and forth until it gets covered with his saliva. He chuckles when your body twitches. He dips his mouth again, flicking the tip of his tongue against your clitx while scratching your inner thighs. You moan loudly, arching your back again and again. Your moan matches the others’ moans and grunts. Both Sakusa and Bokuto are sucking on your titsx and they’re doing it like they’re milking on you. Swirling sharply their tongues and grazing their teeth on its softness. Damn. You didn’t even say yes to them!

Unknowingly, your mouth also salivates as well as your cunt being treated like a meal by Oikawa’s hot and needy mouth. He’s swirling his tongue and he’s sucking you there so noisily.

“Tooru~” you moan his name when he starts pumping digits into you while his thumb is pressing hard on your clitx. Your legs stretches up and down whenever his fingers goes deeper and harder and at the same time, circling his knuckles hard as well on your cunt. He makes you drip like crazy and it’s evident on your oozing core and salivating mouth. He laughs triumphantly, giving you the best finger fuck and tongue fuck. Your body convulses when you come in waves, the two men abandons your chest to join Oikawa slurping your first and rich orgasm.

They pushes your legs up and there are three long and thick tongues slurping and licking your tight pussy that still waves down thick juices. You find support by grabbing on the edges while you were being worshipped by their mouths. A squeal escapes your lips when you feel someone’s tongue poking your anusx.

When they finished, Oikawa pulls you near the edge and kneels in front of your head hanging by on the ends. He’s the first one to get fully naked before Sakusa and Bokuto.

“Kou~” your eyes waters, not in fear but in excitement and other unnamed feelings.

Sakusa goes below you, putting your small body on top of his own while slowly inserting his fat cockx in your tight pussy. You let out a yelp when his balls bumps on your opening. He’s deep inside you!

“Sakusa hnngggg~ sooo deeeppp haaahhh!” you grip his arm that locks your head beside his by putting it tight around your neck. You struggle to breathe properly so you gasp for air. His other hand goes to your stuffed cunt and slaps your folds harshly until he hears you sob and cry.

“Enough, Omi, she’s sore already.” Bokuto slaps Sakusa’s hand away and replaces it by his own, giving soft touches and light kisses.

“Hmm~ Kou... Kou... ” you cry his name, grabbing his hand toward your mouth. You kiss his fingertips and suck on them later. Earning soft moans and heavy breathes from him.

Bokuto takes his hand from your grasp and gives you slow and sensual kiss on your lips. You feel Sakusa inching his length out but you give no enough attention to it. What matters now is how Bokuto kisses your numb lips. He’s good and it feels good.

Your dear friend ends the kiss but not his finger work on your clitx. He’s rubbing it softly.

“My turn baby doll.” you almost forgot about him. Oikawa kisses you again and what he does next surprised you. He shoves his cockx in your mouth, all the way down to your throat. You gag at how big he is but you can’t do anything to remove it not now that he starts moving in and out.

Your moans gets dissolved by Oikawa’s rough fucking inside your mouth. He moans louder than you and his friends and you feel like doing the same so you cooperate with him, sucking him in while he fucks his length harder to your throat.

Down to the remaining men, Sakusa has been hammering your tight cunt with his massive cockx and swear! Your eyes widened when Bokuto positions his big cock head to where Sakusa’s fat one is inserted.

You put your free hand on his abdomen when he hovers over you, slowly joining his friend’s dick into party.

No, Koutaro! You’re gonna rip me with your cockx!

But he didn’t stop. He slides his fat member into your stretched core! Stretching it even wider with Sakusa’s!

Oikawa moans louder and louder and he even dirty talks while spurting his thick loads in your mouth. You gag on it and you do nothing but swallow it all.

When it’s your turn to moan and scream, you give all your best in doing it because fuck, it’s hurt having two fat and long shafts inside your cunt. So you moan and cry and then repeat while ramming themselves into you. Your body shakes and your lips quivers and they huffs and pants and slams their hips until you bleed thick and rich heat again, covering their cocks with your juice and their sperms.

Bokuto and Sakusa only pulls out when they empty all of their loads inside you.

It’s not over, Oikawa pulls you and folds you in mating press, inserting his hard cockx into your leaking hole, pumping faster while kissing your roughly again. He does it again. The rough and deep pumping. The rough kisses that leaves your lips swollen and numb.

“Tooruuu aahhnnggg~ hmmppp~” you shake your head, he’s using you so rough. You can feel the weight of every thrust and you wish for it to be over.

Again, it’s not over even after he cum inside you. He flips you on your stomach, pushing his cockx back inside you. He pounds you harder from behind, groping your chest before slapping your ass as he keeps pounding. You cry. And cry. And cry.

Three times. Oikawa cums inside you three times before handing you back to Sakusa who chooses to fuck you ass up, too.

“Not today, Omi. Her parents would notice. She comes home every weekends.” Bokuto advises his friend when Sakusa put his tip on your anusx.

Sakusa spits on his length and on your anusx, “okay, I won’t anal fuck her hmm~” he says but does it anyway.

He shoves right there! Sliding his full length inside your ass. You let out a loud cry and sob hard. Sakusa laughs. Oikawa, too. Bokuto attends to you and takes your both hands, drawing circles at the back of your hand he’s gripping tightly.

“Kou... Kou... it hurts, please, Kou... ” you cry while holding hands with your best friend.

Sakusa starts grinding his hips against your and that makes you feel the very pain of being analed. Bokuto didn’t leave you. He keeps holding your hand while Sakusa pounds you senselessly, almost adhering you deep against the softness of the couch.

“Ssshhh, baby~ you can take him~ you’ll feel good.” you focus on his words while endurimg Sakusa’s rough thrusts.

“Kou—” you were cut mid sentence. Sakusa pulls you away from Bokuto, flipping you on your back again to face him.

You can feel his loads dripping from your assholex but he’s not done yet. He separates your legs and dips between your thighs, pushing his shaft back.

You wince in pain when he slaps your swollen folds. You tell him it hurts with tears in your eyes but he just smiled. Slapping for the last time before rocking you again and this time, claiming your lips. He kisses expertly and you find yourself returning his kiss even though your lips hurts.

“Omi... ” you cry his name softly and that stuns him for seconds, watching your face contorts in beautiful pleasure. He sees something different in you in that state so he rocks you deep but slow this time, kissing your chin down to your neck and moments later, he’s shooting his loads inside you while still kissing you slowly.

Once again, that moment isn’t over yet, Bokuto takes you inside his arms and brings you in the backyard where there is a inflatable pool set up near the wooden fence.

The sun is up and so is his cockx.

He puts your nakedness in the cold water and slow fuck you there but bruising your whole body with his deep bites and tight grips. He pushes the hair strands that covers your face while ramming himself into you. He looks at you softly and he notices your puffy eyes from all the crying.

“You good, baby?” his voice is gentle so you smile, nodding your head until it slowly falls down backwards. You feel drained and you can’t keep with his deep rumblings while moving up and down on his lap.

He catches your head on time, eyes fluttering from being overworked.

“Kou, I like you. I lied when I say it’s Omi.” you confess before closing your eyes.

Bokuto does your job, he moves your ass up and down his length even though you fell asleep on him. As he shoots his loads inside, he says this, “but Omi found you first, Y/N. He’s afraid to tell you his feelings so he finds another way to get close to you. By bullying you, he gets closer and closer. I just jumped in the scene and befriended you. I like you, too, Y/N. But he likes you first. So, you are his.”

But, you didn’t hear it. You were too tired to fight against the need to sleep.

Two hours later...

You were in the backseat, straddling on Sakusa’s laps, his cockx installed inside your creaming cunt while holding you tight as he kisses your lips torridly.

On your way home,

Bokuto drives the car.

While Sakusa is fucking you mercilessly in the backseat.

With all the bruises and marks of ownership, there’s no doubt you are his.

You are Kiyoomi Sakusa’s property.

[ncitygirls]

belong - chan x f reader

fluff, smut, 2.8k

when your lover called on you, the bells in your heart rung. chan invited you to his home for an evening spent together in the sweet peace of the one another’s company. upon your arrival, he greeted you with pure admiration in his eyes, a youthful wonderment sweeping over him as he gazed upon your person, pulling you into his embrace where you belong.

he took your hand, dusting his lips across your knuckles as he whispered, “i missed you, love.”

“and i you.” it’s not often you admit that time spent away from chan adds painfully to your longing, this much is evidenced by his wide eyed surprise. “i have spent every second counting down until we would meet again.”

“oh?” he gasps, believing not a word. “maybe hypnos might finally stop by now that you have come.”

“maybe breath will finally enter my lungs! and food settle in my stomach!”

“my love, if we are of such detriment to ourselves when apart,” he mumbles against your lips as he captures them sweetly. “then perhaps we mustn’t part again.”

“not ever?”

“not ever,” and so, with your indefinite union confirmed, chan ushers you into his home. you quickly note the sheet music that customarily garnishes every corner of the black oak table is now stacked neatly to the side. in their place are gold lined porcelain dinner plates, and sat atop them are a meal you know your lover did not prepare. “i know what you are readying yourself to say, so i feel i must confess something.”

“please do.”

“the lees did assist me with the preparation of this meal,” he lies as you turn to him. “you do not believe me? my love, i take great offence.”

“one can only find offence in the truth, chan.”

“fine,” he sighs, kindly untucking your seat. “the lees prepared the meal.” his confession is rewarded with the softest kiss to his dimpled cheek, deepening the indent greatly. “but i did prepare the table!”

“and had you not, the meal would not look half as inviting,” your praise, though clearly meant in jest, still colours the tips of his ears.

“lest you plan for my head to swell to twice its size, i suggest you stop.”

you press your hand to his cheek, the soft skin warming your palm as you turn his face towards you. “surely that is just more of you to love, is it not?”

“goodness. u are like a god sent spring during drought! love just pours from you. surely i am not this worthy,” he ponders aloud. he rests his forehead on yours, settling his eyes on your lips, he trains his pounding heart to beat in time with your breathless chortles. “what did I do to deserve you?”

as you shrug, you lean up, capturing his lips with yours, offering up the most delicate of pecks. the motion is dizzying, and the pace moreso. his fingers grip your side almost painfully, his wandering thumb finding the skin of your hip, drawing the tiniest circles. your tongue finally slips between his teeth before he pulls away. “the lees would not be happy to learn how we have treated their meal.”

“that you plated,” you remind, squeezing his arms in want. “and a plated meal can be reheated. hell, a plated meal can be unplated!”

“is this a want or a need?” chan suddenly asks, watching your teeth catch your lip. raising his thumb once dragging along the band of your knickers, he tugs at the trapped lip, freeing it from restraint. “i asked you a question.”

“it’s a want,” you admit shamefully, your hunger amplified with another whiff of the cooling dinner.

“a want can wait.” without another word, chan releases you, waiting patiently so he can tuck your seat in. once you are seated, he tucks himself in at the table’s head, reaching for your hand to his right. “go ahead, angel.”

you can only nod as you reach for your polished fork before scooping up the braised pork and buttered mash. he grins as you moan, the sound oddly innocent as you slowly begin to regain your appetite. he frees your hand as you reach for your knife, settling it instead on your knee, squeezing before he attacks his meal. as you make your own ways through dinner, you settle into a comfortable silence, both happily welcoming any intermittent interruptions. he speaks in part of his long work week spent apart from you, you speak in part of the gruelling work week spent apart from him. you both speak of family, sharing thoughtless yet meaningful tidings. you speak of friends, of gossip and news as he updates you on the lees’ plans to finally go into business together.

“how does hyunjin feel about it? he, minho and felix, were they not in talks about a dance company?” you speak with your lips perched on the rim of your glass, never forgetting a detail chan offers up. and though this at times works to his detriment, he cannot help but smile as he nods, gleeful at your continued interest in his companions.

“hyunjin wishes them well. of course he sulked for days, but he sees their passion and respects their wishes.” chan watches as you nod, acquainted well enough with the man to understand. “but he expects shares.”

“as he should!’ you punctuate your point with a final stab at your dinner, chewing the cooling carrot far too aggressively for how well it had been prepared.

“must everyone be compensated for broken promises?” he asks, reaching for your cleared dinner plate. “that hardly seems just.”

“is that not the very underpinnings of law?”

“so that makes it just?” he asks, returning to his seat with wine before pulling you onto his lap.

“well,” you start, grabbing your glass and straddling your lover. “it depends who is profiting.”

“consider this,” placing his wine down, he rests his open hands on your thighs, “when i make you mrs. bang—”

“when?”

“yes, when,” he emphasises with a sweet kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder, trailing his nose up the column of your neck. “should you change your mind, must i hold you accountable?”

“i would never change my mind,” you state, rendering his analogy futile. “being mrs. bang would be the honour of a lifetime.”

“you are insufferable,” he breathes, his warming forehead pressed to your shoulder. “for the sake of my analogy, say that were not the case. say being mrs bang was unliveable, the biggest regret of one’s life. should you be accountable for leaving?”

“annulment is a fickle thing, chan. there are so many other factors involved.” you predict the question on his tongue, so you proceed to list them. “wealth, health, kin, religion, intimacy—”

“we won’t have that problem.”

“we won’t have any of those problems,” you correct. “will we, mr bang?”

“no,’ he agrees, pulling your frame further up his lap, “none.” there’s a pause where he regards you with an insurmountable confusion, as if regarding you for the first time again. “you never did tell me what I did to deserve you?”

“it isn’t for me to tell,” and therein lies his issue, his desperation to remedy his thanklessness, to express his unyielding gratitude for the blessing that is his lover. if he knew what he did, then he might know what to keep doing. “just enjoy me.”

“i intend to do just that,” he breathes against your skin, lips dragging along the bone of your jaw.

it is impossible not to squirm. his touch is at the best of times manageable, yet at the worst, insufferable. his fingernails press moons into your neck and thigh, firming his grip on your nape and dragging your hips down onto his crotch. the friction is hot and reeling, the slide of his cock along your clothed folds, slowly milking him whilst displaying his restraint. you detest his chosen pace, it is all the things you simultaneously love and loathe about your partner. his mature approach to love making and his need to drag out every moment beyond what is absolutely necessary. you begin setting your own pace, digging your heels into the ground as you roll against his length. the pleasure is short lived.

“it would serve you well to hold still,” he pours into your mouth, the beginnings of a smirk tainting even the purest parts of his face. he makes it increasingly difficult to follow his generous warning, as he frees your neck and grabs the table for leverage, dragging his groin against you, readily instigating your demise. “i can be fair, y/n. just tell me what it is you desire?”

“you, chan.”

“but you have all of me,” he reminds, guiding your hand to the warm space between you, tightening your grip around his heavy length. “all of me is yours, so speak plainly.”

“i want you to—“ he lets a single digit pass between your clothed folds, soaking the fabric and the pad of his finger. your eyes slowly follow his movements, the lone finger sucked into the warmth of his mouth. “chan, please.”

“how can you beg for that which you have not asked?”

“fuck me.” he reels at your embarrassment, the warmth on your cheeks warming his neck as you burrow out of view. “please,” your breathy plea fills the shell of his ear as you drag yourself along his lap. “is that not the reason you asked me here?”

his laughter fills the air as he kicks out his chair, your combined weight tugging at the carpet. “not entirely,” he admits candidly, lifting you both in a swift motion. “i do enjoy time spent in your company.”

“well, of course,” you agree, clinging to him as he moves through his home, covering more ground with every kiss he offers to your neck. “but my company can allow for a multitude of activities.”

“a multitude you say?” he places you gently atop his sheets, your weight forcing a sensual warm oak to waft through the room. his hands settle firmly by your head, his elbows collapsing to barely rest his weight on you, eliminating any and all space. his gleaming eyes bore into your own, the tip of his nose gliding along the bridge of your own. “you mightn’t believe it, but I am a simple man. i am happy to settle for one.”

“and which one might that be?”

his head lolls dumbly from left to right, allowing but a second to pass before he gives you his answer. rows of pearl capture his lip as he lowers himself, slow sensual grinds of his hips reveal his thoughts like no words could. his hooded eyes drink the creases in your face, the waves of pleasure coursing through you as he passes between your folds. the air thickens tenfold, your pants fanning his lips as you succumb to the movements of your lover.

“chan—“ your whine draws a devious grin on his face. you feel his palm rest on your cheek, his thumb running along your jaw down to your chin where he tugs, no words nor force required to tell you what he wants.

“may i?” he breathes into your mouth, tongue rolling in his own, collecting what you unknowingly crave. you nod once, leaning up to meet his lips as he leans back. the saliva gathered on his tongue slowly passes from between his lips into your open mouth. his eyes follow the string that connects you both as you swallow, your breath faltering as his eyes drag up to gaze at you. the hunger you’re met with would force your knees together, only his own keep them apart. “i’m going to give you what you want now,” he promises, fingers tugging at your panties. “and I know you can take it,” he affirms as he slides a finger in you, grinning as you whine. “i just need to make sure.”

he pumps his finger slowly, dragging the pad languidly against your walls, his thumb circling your clit. be laughs at the tremble in your thighs, how little restraint you have always exhibited. it has always been this way. your neediness bursting through the seams, rendering his own restraint powerless. especially as your fingers toy with his waistband, fist closing around his leaking tip. your palm rolls against his slit, the heel gathering his precum as you slide against his tip. he struggles with his weight over you, his forehead pressed to your own as he winds his length between your closed fist. his lips suck on your tongue, teeth clashing, when he feels a familiar ripple of heat pass through his veins.

“baby,” he huffs, stills his hips and his fingers. “is this what you want?”

“no,” you whine, humping against his hand and pumping him all the same. “but it is you i want,” you pant, chasing a high you know your lover will never give you. “it’s you i need.”

at that he pulls your hand from him, ready to fulfil his duty as your love, to give you all the things you want and need. he shows no haste removing his clothes, buckle hitting the floor, trousers and undergarments gently kicked down his legs. he takes a modicum of time on you however. his hands glide down your sides as he frees you of your sticky underwear, hiking up your skirt as he pumps his cock. lining himself up with your slit, he gazes down at you, his doting expression in stark contrast with his bare form.

“i love you, angel,” he breathes, eyes shining as he pecks at your cheek, nose, lips.

“and i you,” you breathe in kind, choking up as he sheathes himself within your walls. he sighs as you take him, your hot folds sucking him in as he slips his tongue between your lips, swallowing your whimpers. as he bottoms out he pulls away, watching your eyes gleam in want before he snaps his hips, denouncing all fatigue. “oh, chan—”

he grunts as his name falls off your tongue, your mind and body at a loss for thoughts besides those of your lover. as he pounds into you, his tip hitting your g-spot perfectly, forcing your mouth open. unintelligible moans fill the air, though he hears you calling out for him. for the most part, he hears your lustful grumbles of inexplicable pleasure. he needn’t decipher them, nor does he try. he just basks in them, his groans falling into your open mouth, the odd praise passing between your lips as does his tongue, his spit, his praise, his tongue, his spit. he uses you, as you so wish. he fucks harder into you as you fall further into delirium, pleasure rippling through you with every snap of his hips. he watches you gasp for air, gulping around his saliva, watery eyes pleading for him.

“tell me what you want.”

“i want to cum,” you whine, clinging to his tired arms as he deepens his thrusts, rolling his length into you in short, sharp motions. “please, channie.”

he feels you clench around him, his movements growing slow with each passing second. there are moments when he slips, his fist guiding himself back to you, his fingers pressed to your stomach, thumb circling your clit. he feels you teeter to the edge. your pussy closing tighter as he gathers your release, sliding his thumb harshly over your clit, fucking even faster into you as you pass into ecstacsy. his teeth clench at the base of your throat, the combined stimulation drawing your orgasm from you. all that fills the air is your gargles, his name falling off your tongue in a chant, coated in gratitude and adoration. in love. chan follows you to euphoria. his hips stutter as you milk him. His arms weakened, he rests his forehead on your temple, chasing a high only you can conjure. one that draws out grunts of gratitude, of adoration. of love.

moments pass in sticky silence. pants filling the air as the afterglow sets in, the air stagnant as the pungent smell of sex fills the room. he welcomes the short seconds of peace, but he must break it.

“move in with me.” his motives on evenings like this were never too clear, not even to himself. but chan had not lied. every moment in your presence makes your absence all the more unthinkable. sleep comes easy when you are near. he dreams sweetly when you are here. he leans over to remove your blouse, freeing you from the damp material. as he does, he gazes into your eyes, speaking softly of all the nights you could spend doing just this. all the nights you have wasted not doing this. all the ways you could spend the nights in between. all the mornings he could spend with you and you with him. “you belong with me,” he breathes, lips pressed to your knuckles as his fingers trail up and down your arms. he stills, realising he might lull you into slumber, if his words had not already done so when you speak.

“how could i not know?” you ask, splitting his pretty face with a grin. “i belong with you.”

[shingia]

Could I request Kuroo, Bokuto, Tsukishima, Sakusa, Miya twins, and Tendou with a reader who used to self harm but was sober for a while, only to relapse after they left bc of a huge argument then please and thanks? Sorry if that’s really intense tho. And thank u for being so nice🙂💞

[𝐓𝐖] 𝐒/𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌

ok i reaaally hope this is what you expected. i didn’t know what kind of ending you wanted but i decided that you, my friend, needed comfort, so i gave you comfort because you deserve it ❤️️

i hope reading this will make you feel better! kisses on your nose ❤️️

type : (strong) angst | word count : 4.4K

warnings : mentions of self-harm, depiction of depressive behavior (plz do not read if any of these might trigger something, i want you all to be safe <3)

⇀ 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨

« fuck you, kuroo. fuck. you. ». those were the last words you had told him. they had hurt, but they were nothing compared to the last words he had told you, the words that kept playing over and over in your head as you slowly felt yourself drift to your old habits again : « i’m done with you ».

was it your fault ? did you push him over the edge ? you had many questions to ask kuroo, but he wasn’t there to answer anymore. so these thoughts were left spiraling in your head as you started to lose balance between love and pain. because his love used to be the cure to your pain. so now what ? what were you supposed to do other than going back to your old habits ? you couldn’t think of any answer.

on monday morning, you woke up thirty minutes earlier because, first of all, you needed some time for the swelling of your eyes to go down, and second of all, you needed to mentally prepare yourself to see kuroo again. it had been two days since your fight, and he had not manifested himself once. it seemed to be well and truly over ; and that thought had been the main cause of the collapsing of your mental strength over the last two days.

during your first period, although you were avoiding his gaze, kuroo couldn’t help but cast glances in your direction. because he knew you better than anyone, and he could only imagine how hurt you were.

but he really started to get suspicious when he noticed you were not raising your hand to correct today’s homework. he had helped you with that last week, and you had told him that you felt confident enough to propose your correction to the class ; which rarely happened. so why weren’t you raising your hand ?

he had a bad feeling about the answer… he didn’t care about giving you quick glances anymore, he just stared at your arms until one of your movements would make your sleeve reveal just a few inches of your skin.

and he was horrified to have his fears confirmed. the cuts that he had so often kissed while holding you in his arms were back. and he knew it was all because of him. and although his first thought was that it was not his job to heal them anymore, he couldn’t bring himself to act unbothered.

he had loved you for long enough to know that you needed him right now. or maybe he still loved you ? it was not clear, but it didn’t matter right now. what mattered was that he needed you to listen to what he wanted to say, even if that was the last thing you accepted to hear from him.

« y/n, we need to talk » he told you once you got out of the classroom. you looked up at him ; his face was unusually austere. he carefully grabbed your shoulder and took you away from everyone else. 

« i can’t… i couldn’t walk out of there pretending like i didn’t see what your arms looked like » he started. « now listen, i know i fucked up, but i still care. and you still matter. whatever our relationship is doesn’t define you and most importantly, these don’t define you » he pointed at your wrists, his brows furrowed with concern. « so please, i’m begging you, keep in mind that i’m always here if you need to talk. always. and if you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine, but in that case, please find someone else. for the sake of everything we've been through together, don't let everything you’ve accomplished go to waste » and he wrapped his arms around you in the strongest hug he had ever given.

⇀ 𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨

it had already been a week. and bokuto had absolutely no idea what to do. call you ? text you ? probably not. what would he even say ? « hi, sorry for slamming the door in your face after screaming at you for fifteen minutes. am i still your boyfriend ? » awful idea.

and while bokuto was pondering every option he had left to get in touch with you, you were left in the darkest place of your mind. and you hadn’t felt like that in a few months. because bokuto used to always be there, his number on speed dial whenever you feared you would relapse. and thanks to his unwavering support, you hadn’t. but was there anything in this world that was truly unwavering ? you really started to doubt it. and now that bokuto had left you, what could carry the pain away ? whatever the answer was, you were in no condition to think rationally about it.

you remembered how he used to celebrate every improvement in your mental health, how strong of a cornerstone he had been for you. and just the fact of not knowing where you guys were at after your fight was enough to make you feel like you were drowning again.

you were overflowing with emotions that you thought you couldn’t control, and apart from holding on tight to bokuto’s chest, you only knew one way to feel better.

you loved him, you really did. but after a week without hearing from him, you started to think that maybe his feelings were not as real as he pretended they were. and how could you not blame him for that ? for letting you down so fast ?

curled up in your bed, tears were streaming down your face ; because you felt weaker than you had promised yourself to be. you were exhausted, in every sense of the word, yet there was still a tiny bit of strength left in your body that made you grab your phone and open your conversation with bokuto. the last message was a bitter pill to swallow : « no problem babe, i’m always here for you ». it was just a week ago but it felt like an eternity had passed. your fingers started slowly typing on the screen and immediately hit sent, knowing that you would second guess your message if you re-read it. « can we talk? », just three words, it was the maximum you could get off of your chest right now.

but bokuto did not answer. for the simple reason that he was too busy catching his breath in front of your door. he frantically knocked, not stopping until you opened it.

« oh my god, are you okay ?! » he exclaimed, patting your entire body like he wanted to make sure you were well and truly there. and once he had made sure of that, he pulled you against his chest like he wasn’t planning on letting you go ever again. « did- did you… » he ventured to ask, not wanting to finish his sentence precisely because he was afraid of your answer. but when he heard you let out a muffled sob against his chest, his fears instantly got replaced by guilt. more than he had ever felt. « you’re alright, i got you. i got you now… » he murmured, his hands stroking your back tenderly. « we’ll get through this together, ok ? we’ll show the world how strong you are. because i know you are. »

⇀ 𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚

yes, sakusa had run away. and he was glad he had. because he knew how hurtful he could be with his words, and he had enough respect not to inflict that to you. but as he made his way back home, doubt started installing in his head. what if he shouldn’t have left you after your fight ? he immediately shook the thought away. no, you were good now. you were better. nothing like who you were when he met you.

and sakusa could be very convincing when he needed to, including with himself. that’s why he didn’t get in touch with you for the next three days, because he thought you just needed some time for yourself.

but when he received a worried text from komori when he got out of the gym after practice, he changed his mind within seconds. « i just saw y/n, something felt off. maybe you should check on them ? ».

sakusa felt a wave of guilt descend upon of him. of course he should. it was his fucking job to offer you his help, even when he thought you didn’t need it. and especially when he knew what you had already been through. he cursed himself all the way to your house, where he could only imagine how lonely you felt. not wanting to waste any more time, he pulled out his phone to call you. and heaved a relieved sigh at the sound of your voice : « hey, are you ok ? like, right now are you doing ok ? » he asked hastily. 

you sat on your bed and rubbed your strained eyes, fiddling with the cloth of your t-shirt. « i- yeah, i’m good… » you lied. « i’m at your door, open up please, i gotta see you » he said before hanging up.

you knew sakusa was not going to take no for an answer. so, after wiping your tears and putting on a long-sleeved hoodie and sweatpants, you went to open the door. 

« hi… » you uttered quietly. sakusa didn’t dare to move. he had been so determined to get to your house, but now that you were standing in front of him, he wasn’t so sure of what he was supposed to do.

you decided to be the first to break the silence,  « i’m okay. and i’m sorr… » « sorry. about everything. » he pre-empted you. seeing you like this made him fear the worst. so he gently grabbed your wrists like he wanted to hold your hands, when in reality he just wanted to confirm his thoughts. and when he saw you stiffen at his touch, he knew he had guessed right. « come here » he whispered before going in for a hug. but you pulled away at the last second. « can we… go to my room ? i- i feel better there » you asked timidly.

he didn’t even answer and simply wrapped his arm around your shoulder before taking you to your bedroom where you immediately curled up on your bed. you didn’t want sakusa to see you like this, but you were in no position to fight back anymore. quietly, he laid beside you and pulled you in a warm embrace, just tight enough to let you know that he got you now. 

when he noticed you were trying to find something to say, to explain yourself, he shushed you with a kiss on your shoulder. « you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. but i want you to listen to me very carefully : don’t ever think that you’re back to square one now. you’ve dealt with this before, you’ve grown and you can do it again as long as you promise yourself to get back up. and i won’t leave your side. you deserve so much more than what you give yourself, and i’m here to remind you »

⇀ 𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚

tsukishima’s pride was important to him, everyone knew it. the only thing he valued as much as his pride was probably you. but during your arguments, the scale always tipped in his pride’s favor, you simply could not compete.

but surprisingly enough, it was you who had told him to go away after getting in the most heated argument you had ever had. and he didn’t have to be told twice : you had shattered his beloved pride, and he was not going to stay here begging for your mercy.

he still loved you, but he also had no problem ignoring you at school. yet for some reason, this argument didn’t sit well with him. well, no arguments ever sat well with him, but today felt different. 

ignoring you was one of the most hurtful things tsukishima could ever do to you. he had helped you through so much, and suddenly becoming a stranger to him was slowly bringing you back down.

« it’s just one time, i won’t relapse » you thought the first time you tried to cope with the pain the way you used to. but you feared it wouldn’t be just one time. you were diving into what you had said goodbye to ; but now that tsukishima was ignoring you, there was no one to stop you from falling, right ? 

well, that would have been true if he hadn’t kept a discreet but attentive eye on you. which is why he knew very well that you had gone back to your old habits. and he needed to do something about it.

but he wasn’t good with words, and he feared that actions would not be enough this time. he needed something more permanent, something that you could keep with you all the time. so he decided to do something he had never done before, and gave it to you as soon as it was done…

receiving a letter from tsukishima was definitely not something you expected. but what was written in it was even less expected.

« i’m not the best at this kind of stuff, but… i really need you to stop being so hard on yourself. i know it’s not something i usually say, but i fell in love with you because i learned to love your imperfections. and you have to start doing the same about yourself. please. and if you need to be held, to be listened to, i’ll be there. but i wanted to write something because i want you to be able to read this as much as you need, as much as you want. i want you to get better, but even more than that, i want you to want to get better. you can do it, i believe in you more than you can think. please come to me if you need it. i love you ».

the tears that streamed down your face had a salty taste, but for the first time in a long time, they tasted like hope as well. and the next time you came face to face with yourself and your thoughts, your eyes found find their way back to the letter, and you knew that there were people that still believed in you, counted on you, loved you. tsukki was just the first one of a long list. (<3)

⇀ 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

he had been there through everything. more than you would have imagined. which is probably why you felt desperately empty ever since he got so angry at you that he left without looking back. but at the time, it simply had not crossed his mind that you would suffer so deeply from his words.

but you did. a lot. and that was the reason you found yourself crying on your bedroom floor, not even able to be mad at anyone but yourself.

still oblivious to the true damage, atsumu thought he could get back to you by pretending like nothing had happened. he often did that because, to him, what was in the past belonged in the past. except that today, and in your situation, it could not work.

« wanna grab something to eat ? » was the first text he sent you. and you didn’t feel like answering, so you didn’t. « are you still mad ? i’m not <3 » was the second one. but you still didn’t feel like answering. maybe it was your fault ? maybe you were overreacting while you were just supposed to play it cool like he did ? but you would have played it cool if you knew how to.

when atsumu decided to go to your house, it was initially to apologize in person. he had not planned on seeing you looking the way you did, which was a heart-wrenching reminder of the dark period of time you had gotten through together. but here he was, standing in front of you, feeling more helpless than ever. he knew too well the look into your eyes, one that he hadn’t seen in a long time. 

he dropped the pack of snacks he was holding in his hands before cupping your cheeks. « oh no, no, no. i fucked up, didn’t i ? i am… so so so sorry. c-can you forgive me ? » he stammered, absolute panic in his eyes as he took you in his arms. why would i have to forgive you ? you thought. i’m the only one to blame. 

but atsumu seemed to also hear the things you didn’t say, and he refused to let you feel guilty for anything. ever so gently, he took your hands in his before placing the softest kisses on your wrists that were still covered by the sleeves of your hoodie. « i probably won’t ever forgive myself for leaving you alone. but promise me you’ll always come to me if you need help, or any kind of support, hugs, kisses… you name it. i’ll be your coping mechanism, and i’ll be the best you’ve ever had »

and he kept holding you for a long time, at least until he felt your breath become steady again. and if you thought atsumu was doting before, prepare yourself to be even more amazed now.

⇀ 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

fighting with osamu was not frequent, fortunately. but when fights occured, it was bad. really bad. he tended to think that you could endure as much as atsumu when it came to harsh words ; but you couldn’t.

kind of like his brother, samu had a tendency to leave the past behind and pretend like nothing happened when he got in touch with you after a fight. and that’s what he did a week ago, after one of the biggest arguments that you had ever had.

too happy that he seemed to still want to be your boyfriend, you didn’t have the courage to tell him how you had gone back to your old habits during the time you were on bad terms. but as they said, old habits died hard, and your destructive thoughts were still very present even when things seemed to have gotten back to normal.

yet samu was not blind, and he noticed that you were acting a bit more distant since last week, since your fight. but he still thought that your problems could be solved by just keeping on pretending like everything was ok. and eventually, things would turn out ok by themselves, right ?

you were laying on his bed, turned on your side as you scrolled on your phone. usually you would have had an arm swung around him, but you didn’t want to take any risk, so you kept your distances. 

« hey, come closer baby. we’ve barely cuddled today » he told you before lazily wrapping his arm around your waist.

feeling nervous, you swallowed the lump in your throat before putting your phone on the nightstand. « i’m going to sleep, samu », you said, stretching your arm to turn off the light.

but he was quicker than you and gently grabbed your arm, careful not to apply any pressure on it. his eyes widened, he had barely seen your wrist but it had been enough to notice that the scars were recent. he put two and two together and looked at you dead in the eyes ; you looked ashamed, and it broke his heart. « when did y- was it because of me ? » he asked, his voice faintly shaking. you pulled away from his hand and held your arm against you, sinking in the pillow. « no, of course not. it’s nothing » you breathed out, looking away to avoid his gaze. but he was quick to make you face him again, with a slight pressure of his fingertips on your red cheeks. « there’s only one thing that i hate more than seeing you in pain. it’s knowing that i caused this pain. let me help you, y/n. please. you deserve to feel better. i’m sorry i didn’t give you as much love as you gave me. and i’m sorry for behaving like an asshole when you needed me. just… fuck, i just love you ».

tears started prickling the corner of your eyes, but he saw you trying to hold them back. with the most gentle look in his eyes, he proposed to turn off the light if it made you feel better. and you nodded ; you knew that you’d eventually had to have a face-to-face conversation with him. it was the only way to get better. but right now you just wanted to be held without thinking about what he’d see. or wouldn’t see.

so he turned off the light and let yourself get comfortable in bed before wrapping you in his embrace once again. his soft breath against your neck was obviously not enough to make all your pain magically go away, but it let you know that he had your back. and it was all that mattered.

⇀ 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮

« i don’t want to do this anymore, y/n ! » tendou had yelled, making this sentence the peak of your argument. six words, and they were on replay in your minds since four days. you couldn’t believe that almost two years of relationship had ended so abruptly. but you had to face the truth : tendou had enough of you. and obviously you linked that to the turbulent start of your relationship. you knew it hadn’t been easy for him to deal with your self harm when you had just started dating. yet he had managed to make you feel so much better that you had been sober for about a year, all thanks to him. but maybe you hadn’t been grateful enough ? maybe that was why he had decided to end things now ?

the only thing you knew for sure was that he was gone, and you felt like you had lost your anchor.

you had spent the weekend in your dorm, and it had been a painful weekend. so painful that you did not get out of bed on monday morning ; it was just too much to handle. deep down you knew that you were not handling your problems the right way… and escaping reality was not viable.

but little did you know that tendou wanted nothing more than to see you again in the hallways and finally have a heart-to-heart conversation with you. and when he didn’t see you in class, he started to freak out. he knew how it was to feel alone and rejected ; and he started to fear that he had caused you to feel exactly that. so he did not follow his friends to the cafeteria at lunch and headed to your dorm instead, hoping that you’d open the door.

and you did. thank god you did. but panic started bubbling in his chest when his eyes laid on your face.

« alright, come here » he told you with a forced smile before pulling you in his embrace. truthfully, he didn’t feel like smiling, but he knew that the last thing you needed was to think you made him feel bad. when he was with you, his main goal was to cheer you up, he’d deal with himself later. « angel… did you do it again ? » he asked, his tone being the furthest thing from judgmental. you muttered a quiet apology, your face buried in his white uniform jacket. but something lingered on your mind. angel ? it sounded right, but you knew it wasn’t. not anymore. « don’t apologize ! the only person you owe an apology to is yourself » he whispered against your ear. slowly, he put his hands on your waist before bringing you to your bed where he sat right next to you, still refusing to take his hands off of your body.

 « tendou, you don’t have to do this… » you muttered, knowing that you weren’t supposed to be this close anymore. « i’m your ex, you don’t owe me anything ».

he immediately looked down to meet your eyes, an eyebrow raised in confusion. « your ex ? wh- you think i broke up with you ? y/n, when i said that i didn’t want to do this anymore, i was talking about fighting with you ! i’m sorry, i should have texted you these last few days, but i thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me »

a tear rolled down your cheek. tendou’s words sounded like heaven right now. maybe you weren’t alone after all ?

« now, do you need me to get you something ? band-aids ? anything ? » he asked, caressing your hair with his right hand. you nodded your head no and kept your head buried in his neck, like you were waiting for his scent to go to your head. « i know you’ve been through a lot, and i’m proud of you no matter what. but, you know… even though i have enough love for the both of us, i’d really want you to have enough love for yourself » he said and placed a kiss on top of your head, waiting for you to say something. but he sensed that you were not ready yet. and he was ok with that, the last thing he wanted to do was to pressure you. it was going to be a long path, but you had already done it, and you were going to do it again. and he’d be there the whole time.

ok so if you’ve read until there it probably means that you needed comfort (i hope i have given you enough) : so if you are in this situation yourself, PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask for help, you can and you will get better. i’m rooting for you like saeko roots for karasuno ❤️️

@toworuu (didn’t forget about you ^^)

[aliasimagines]

It Was You All Along // Dave Lizewski

requested by a lovely anon 💕

Can u write dave x fem!reader where reader Always had a crush on him but he kinda ignored reader bc of Katie but then someone popular asks reader out and he gets jealous and y/n dresses up super hot and he realizes he fucked up

word count: 1809

a/n: i hope this is close enough! ❤️ (i couldn't think of a different title but this one reminds me of Agatha All Along xd)

"Hey, Dave! My folks are gone for the weekend and I thought we could have an X-men watch party. Wanna come?" 

"Sorry I can't, I'm hanging out with Katie." 

"Again?" you ask a bit louder than intended,causing a few people to look at you in the hallway. You continue with a lower voice "Aren't you like, tired of all the lying? Like, what if she finds out that you're not actually gay, hm? Cause you know she will, eventually." 

"Why do you care so much?!" Dave says, clearly frustrated. 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"Oh why would I? Maybe because we have been best friends since diapers, you stupid asshole!" you say not caring if some students hear you or not, anymore. "But you know what, you are right. I shouldn't care. Go play pretend with Katie but don't come to me, crying when you end up getting your heart broken." 

"Don't worry, I won't." he snaps back. And you turn around and leave but not before flipping him off. You felt the angry tears rolling down your cheeks as you zigzagged between the chattering teenagers. 

You couldn’t  believe how Dave could be so blind! He only had eyes for Miss Perfect. Whom by the way, is a real bitch and would go back to ignoring Dave or calling him a freak if it wasn’t for his little gay act. 

Somehow you made your way over to the restroom and locked yourself into one of the booths.

Dave couldn’t even see you as a potential “love-interest”. Eventhough you were the one who always were there for him, you were always there when he called, running to him like a lost puppy. And he couldn’t even care less. And you hate him for it. But you hate yourself more for still liking him. 

It’s not like you can do something about it, if you could, you would have. But that’s not how it works, so you are just crying your guts out on the toilet trying not to think about Dave.

In all honesty, you have no idea how you made it through the day. You almost cried during biology but you caught yourself after a few lonely tears. You could feel Dave’s gaze on you but there was no way you would look at him. As soon as the last bell rang you were out of school, hurring past Tod and Marty, not being in the mood for them either.

The next day wasn’t any different, you didn’t hang with Dave, Tod and Marty like you normally do. You didn’t sit with them at lunch, instead walked over to the only empty table you saw and placed your tray there. You mounched on your food, completely unaware of your surroundings until you hear the chair next to you being pulled out. You look up to see Matthew Greendale, resident hottie of the school sit next to you. 

"Hey, sorry, it's not a problem if I sit here, right?" he asks. You eyed him suspiciously. 

"No, it's fine." 

It's fine?! You mentally scold yourself. You never even spoke to this guy, outside of literature in first year. Why would he sit next to you? 

"I didn't want to sit with all the other "popular jocks" he answered you unspoken question while taking a bite of his canteen-hamburger. “They’re fun and everything but it’s nice to get away from them sometimes.”

You think of your friends who are sitting a few tables away and you can’t help but agree with Matthew.

“Yeah, I feel you.” you say without thinking.

“Hey..We used to sit next to each other in freshman year, didn’t we? It’s y/n ,right?” 

You nod with a smile, honestly being surprised that he remembers you.

“Yeah!”

“I haven’t really seen you around a lot. But when I do you are always hanging with those comic book nerds.”

“Hey! Comics are great.”

He puts his hands up in a defense.

“Oh no! I didn’t mean it as an insult. Some comics are good, my little brother made read one last month. It was actually great.”

“What comic was it?”

“Oh, uhm..It was about some kind of blind dude in a devil costume.”

“Daredevil?” you ask with a giggle.

“Yes, that one!” he laughs too.

The two of you continue talking until the end of lunch break. He is surprisingly fun to talk to and he even offers to walk you to your next class after lunch. You had such a good time you didn’t even think about Dave, heck, you didn’t even notice him literally glaring daggers into Matthew.

“What’s up with you, dude?” Tod asks snapping Dave out of it. 

“Yeah, Dave. What the shit is going on with you and Y/N?” Marty asks too.

Dave forrows is eyebrows. Yes, what the shit is going on with the two of you? Every since yesterday's 'fight' with you he can't stop thinking. About how he spends most, if not all of his time either with being Kick-Ass or, rather with Katie. It used to be different. He spent every second with you and he just threw you away so he could maybe get laid. And sure, Katie may be hot as fuck but she is.. Well, she is not you. 

"We had a fight, yesterday. I.. And she was right." he explains with a grimace. "But why the fuck is that Greendale asshole is with her?" 

"You jealous or something, dude?" 

"Wha- Of course I am not jealous! Why would I be? You guys are nuts." 

Jealous… The word rolled around in his mouth like a new flavored milkshake he never tasted before. 

Could he be… Jealous? He never thought of you that way, you were always his best friend. Just that. But.. The more he thinks about it the more he can't stop that twist like feeling in his stomach. 

That night he can't focus on crime fighting. All his thoughts are tied to you. Whether he likes it or not, memories of you keep popping up in his mind. How didn't he notice your beautiful smile before? And your laugh? It's like a beautiful melody. And… Gosh! When did he become such a sappy teenager? Oh and another thing.. He kept trying to think of something else, anything else like Katie for example but he doesn't care anymore! 

Dave goes home early with a frustrated growl. The remaining hours of the night he spends with tossing and turning and daydreaming instead of sleeping. 

(the next afternoon, Atomic Comics) 

Dave bangs his head against the wood table once again. A tired groan leaves his lips when he hears Tod almost choking on his iced coffee. 

"What the tunk, Tod?" Marty and Dave ask almost at the same time. The dirty blonde haired boy keeps pointing outside the huge window that they are sitting next to at Atomic Comics. 

"Is that fucking y/n?!" 

Now all three of them look outside the shop and see you, all dressed up nad seemingly waiting for someone. 

"Holy fuck!" Dave whispers. He stares at you, with his mouth a gap before jumping up from the booth they were sitting at and rushing outside the store. 

"Y/n! Y/-" he yells almost tripping on thin air. 

"Dave?" you question, quickly turning towards him. Damn, you missed him. No! Yeah, you did… "What do you want?" 

"What do I- What, can't I talk to you?" 

"If you wanted to talk you would have in these past days!" you say. Yes, you might have missed him, but it's not like you're gonna show it. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am waiting for my date to show up." 

"Your.. Your what, now?!" 

"My date" 

"You can't go on a date!" 

"And why is that, Lizewski?" 

"Lizewski? Really, you're calling me by my surname? Are we in such a bad place right now?" 

"I don't know, you tell me. Are you going to tell me what i can and can't do, hm?" 

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…" 

"What, it's fine when you say it but when I do it with you about Katie I'm the bad friend?" 

"No,it's just-" 

"Sorry. Matt's here." you point to the street across the road where you saw the boy walk towards you. "I gotta go." 

You start walking away but Dave grabs your wrist. 

"Please, don't." he mumbles. 

"Why not?" you snap at him but your expressions soften upon your eyes land on his saddened face. 

"I- because I don't want you with him. O-or anyone." 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"What?" 

He took a deep breath before looking around. Matt was waiting patiently by the traffic light so he could cross the road. Dave quickly began explaining. 

"You were right. About Katie. I was such a dickhead, I am so sorry, y/n. I am sorry for ignoring you over her and and.." from the corner of his eye he sees the traffic light turn green. "Shit! I don't want you to go out with Greendale cause I.. Because I like you. Like really fucking like you. And oh my god you look so fucking hot in this outfit, not that you're not always hot but holy shit. I know we are just friends and you don't think of me that way but I ju-"

"Oh my god! Do you ever shut up?" you yell before pressing your lips to his. Dave stumbled back a little, but quickly recovered and kissed back. Your hands cupped his face and his hands grabbed your waist in response. You both tilled your heads, deepening the kiss earning loud knocking from Marty and Tod as they watched the whole scene through the window. Not that you noticed any of it. You didn't hear the passing by car honk at you nor the yells or whistles. You also did not notice Matthew walking away with a sad smile after seeing the two of you. Your touches intertwine and you're pretty sure you heard Dave moan slightly which causes you to giggle into the kiss. You both pull away gasping for air. You look down at your shoes, hoping to hide your flushed cheeks. Dave scratches his back and looks around nervously only to see his two idiotic friends making kissy faces. He lifts his middle finger for them before clearing his throat. 

"So.. Khm.. I guess you like me too?" 

You let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah, I do." you say looking at him with a smile.

"That's.. Fuck. That's great." he replied genuinely happy. "Wanna get out of here?" 

You nod and you take off. You take Dave's hand and he intertwines your fingers with a smile. Maybe he is truly a superhero. He helps people and he gets the girl of his dreams. The happy ending. 

Dave Lizewski taglist : @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff

[sleepysnk]

hey y'all! i decided to make a fic for our lovely Jean boy. i got this idea after Sunday's episode :(, he deserves so much love right now. this is the longest fic i've written, so i hope you all enjoy! ♡

Close the Gap

Pairings: Jean Kirstein x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: None just fluff

Long distances relationships were always something many people tended to avoid. 

The idea of a long distance relationship made (Y/N) feel queasy, her stomach would always churn at the idea of dating somebody who was miles away from her. She heard the many scary stories from her friends about these people not being who they said they were, or the horror stories of girls going missing after meeting with these people. 

Not to mention she always binged watched MTV'S Catfish the TV Show at 3 A.M. watching how people would get catfished. The show was another reason why she tended to avoid dating anyone who was pretty far away. Her worst fear was to find that the person she trusted wasn't who they said they were. 

That all changed seven months ago when she met him. 

More specifically, Jean Kirstein.

(Y/N) was feeling pretty lonely, she was desperate for a relationship at the time and her best friend Sasha told her about some dating apps she could use. She wasn't exactly down to set her up with one of her friends. (Y/N) took the offer on the dating app and set up a profile. 

She met a few decent guys, but they always ended up sending the usual "send me some pics" or "u down to hook up?" texts. Most of the guys on the apps were idiots who were looking just for a quick fuck or something short term, which isn't something (Y/N) wanted. 

She complained to Sasha about it and even considered just deleting the apps, but she told her to just give it one more shot. 

She was glad she did. 

(Y/N) was swiping through the different guys on the app. Some caught her eye or some made her face scrunch with disgust. 

Her swiping stopped when her eyes landed on him. She was instantly attracted to him, his sharp jawline, shaggy light brown hair which was a bit long, his golden brown eyes, toned chest and that goddamn smile. He had a sly smile that made her feel butterflies. 

After she looked at his profile she was hooked. He seemed like a really sweet guy based on his description. He knew how to cook, draw, he played sports, worked out, etc. He also seemed really sweet as well. 

She was tempted to text him first, but she decided not to. The few times she did message a guy first it ended with the guy being dry, or sending some gross messages complimenting her body rather than her face. 

She totally forgot that day that she added him until she got the notification. 

Jean: hey! i saw your profile and let me just say you are gorgeous ❤

From that day forward the two talked every night, they spent many nights texting until they both felt tired, exchanging social media as well. She learned a lot about him, Jean was a fitness major at his university and he wanted to be a personal trainer. They connected on a lot of things, they had a lot of the same likes and dislikes which made the conversations they had even greater. 

She told Jean about the many shitty experiences she had with guys and how she was very hesitant to even give him a chance. Jean shared a lot of the same stories, he had gotten cheated on about a year prior before getting the app. (Y/N) felt bad for him, why cheat on a nice guy like Jean?

Facetiming him was definitely one of her favorite things to do, she told him about how freaked out she was about trying online dating due to how easy it was to fake an online personality. Jean assured her that was not the case and he wasn't a fake person at all. 

Seeing his face on facetime made her heart swell, he was 10x more attractive on facetime than his photos. He had this amazing smile that made her feel weak, and whenever he laughed she found herself having butterflies. Jean thought the same about (Y/N), he thought she was absolutely gorgeous and he wanted to see her face a lot more. 

He always threw a flirt her way whenever he could, Jean was smooth like that. He told her if she was ever unsure of an outfit that she was to send him a picture, and when she did, he was absolutely speechless. Sending the usual heart eyes and telling her how beautiful she was. His words always made her smile. 

While things were perfect for them, there was one small issue. 

They both lived very far from each other. 

Opposite coasts to be exact. 

Jean lived on the East coast while (Y/N) lived on the west. They lived miles away from each other, and although it wasn't a huge bother, it always made her feel lonely. 

Jean felt the same way, he felt lonely being so far away from her. Parts of him wished he lived closer so he could just drive and see her, but with how far it is, he knew it would probably be a very long drive and he just didn't have the time for that. Nor did (Y/N).

They spent many nights talking about dates they'd go on, things they'd do, etc. Jean told her how he would so make a meal for her and he'd take her to meet his mom. All those things sounded so nice, she wanted it to happen so bad.

But they just lived too far from one another.

Plus they both had very busy schedules, both were too caught up with assignments and their own personal lives that flying out wouldn't be exactly a good idea. 

It was unfortunate, but that was the reality of the situation. 

Even with all of that, they still held onto one another. For some reason, Jean didn't want to let her slip by. For the first time, she made him genuinely happy. (Y/N) felt the same way towards Jean, she always found herself being excited to see his name pop up in her phone or when he asked to facetime. There was just something about this boy she didn't want to let go of. He was the only guy who saw her for who she was, and not just her body. 

Neither of them wanted to let this opportunity slip by.

-

Here they were, seven months later. They still kept up with each other every day, though having not met yet, the feelings they both had never changed. 

They weren't dating, but they only talked to each other. Neither had wandering eyes. 

It was a usual night for the two of them, (Y/N) and Jean were on facetime while she did homework and Jean sat playing video games. She didn't mind the gaming, it was something he liked to do so why dislike it?

She was copying notes when her eyes averted upwards towards her phone screen which was propped up. Jean was shirtless sitting in his chair, he had his headset on his head with one of the earmuffs behind his ear. He was focused on the game, his brows pinching together a few times as he played. 

A giggle escaped her lips, making Jean look down at his phone with a smile. 

"What are you giggling about?" he asked, bringing his face close to the camera. 

She smiled. "Oh nothin' you just look really cute playing your game," she replied and set her pen down on the desk. 

He licked his lips and leaned back against his chair, eyeing the screen. "I'd say you look pretty damn fine doing homework," he replied, raising his brows.

Heat rushed to her cheeks, rolling her eyes in the process. "Ugh shush! I look like a total mess," she said and looked away from the screen. 

Jean chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair. "Nah.. you look like the girl who's gonna have my last name," he replied, smirking. 

Her jaw dropped from his comment, a smile grew onto her lips as her cheeks felt hot. He was smooth like that. 

"You are quite smooth," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Another chuckle escaped his throat. "Yeah I'm smooth.. only for you though," he said, winking at the camera. 

"You're adorable.. I wish you were here so I could squeeze your cheeks," she said and played with her pen. 

Jean nodded. "I wish I was there with you too.." he said, looking down at the ground. "I'd like my cheeks squeezed but I'd want to squeeze yours.. if you know what I mean," he added. 

She started laughing a bit. "Ugh Jean I never get tired of you," she replied, looking at her phone screen. "Will you ever be here?" she asked.

Jean fell silent and leaned back against the chair. A sigh escaping his lips. "I have no idea (Y/N).. my schedule has been busy lately, plus I don't really have the funds to fly out anytime soon." he replied, his voice filled with disappointment.

She felt a slight tug at her heart, she knew they probably wouldn't meet for a long time. Many of her friends told her that Jean wasn't worth her time at all and that she needed someone who could come see her. Her friends also said it's not worth it at all and that he'd probably end up hooking up with some girl, and totally forgetting about her. That's something she absolutely didn't want to think about.

"(Y/N)? You alright?" Jean asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

She shook her head, blinking a few times. "Y-Yeah! Sorry, I zoned out.." she replied and smiled a bit.

He put his controller on his desk, he stared at the screen for a few moments. "You know (Y/N) I really want to meet you, trust me I do. I know how much it bothers you that we can't at the moment, but I promise you, we will meet some day." he said with a serious expression. 

She felt her heart swell at his words, Jean always knew what to say to make her feel like a princess. Jean always said from day one that they would meet, it was a promise he had yet to fulfill, but he told her to never worry and that he'll make it happen. She just has to believe him. 

"I trust your words Jean," she said, smiling a bit.

A grin grew onto his face. "Ugh.. this is why I want to meet you so bad. I wanna see that pretty smile in person," he said and leaned against his desk. 

Her cheeks felt hot from his words. "You're too sweet," she replied, rolling her eyes playfully. 

Jean chuckled. "Sweet enough for you,"

Suddenly, (Y/N) heard her bedroom door fly open. 

"Hey (Y/N)!- Oh crap.. did I interrupt something?" 

Her head snapped back to see her best friend Sasha standing in the doorway. 

"Oh not at all Sash, I was just talking to Jean." (Y/N) replied, looking back at the camera. 

Sasha grinned widely, she knew who he was ever since they started talking. Jean was cool with her, he felt like first impressions with friends are always important. 

"Hey Jean!" Sasha yelled, coming down to her phone. "Ooo.. (Y/N) he's shirtless for you," she teased, elbowing her side. 

Her jaw dropped as her cheeks grew hot again. "Can you not! Why are you even here anyway?" she asked, looking up at her friend. 

"Uh duh, I'm here to discuss Valentine's Day plans! You know.. Connie and stuff," she replied in a whisper. 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes playfully. "Ugh fine! Hey Jean, is it cool if I call you back later? Sash here needs boy advice," she asked, grabbing her phone. 

Jean smiled. "Yeah totally.. text me okay? Be safe." he replied. 

She felt a wide smile grow onto her cheeks. "I most definitely will!" she said, hanging up the call. 

Sasha leaned against the wall with a giant smirk on her face. (Y/N) looked up, her head nodding as she was confused as to why she was acting like that. 

"What?" she asked, furrowing her brows. 

A giggle escaped Sasha's lips. "Oh nothing! Ugh (Y/N)! When are you finally going to meet Jean? Have you guys even made it official yet?" she asked. 

She looked down. "No.. we haven't made it official. We aren't dating Sasha, we're just talking and stuff." she replied, shrugging her shoulders. 

Sasha crossed her arms over her chest. "Maybe it's time you do it! You've been talking for months, and I feel like it's a good time. Especially with Valentine's Day and all," she said. 

(Y/N) wasn't sure if what Sasha was saying was a good idea. How the hell would she even ask out Jean? Over a facetime call? That sounded boring. It also sounded too cliche and not special at all. 

"I would Sash but asking him out over a phone just sounds so.. middle school," she replied and stood up. "It's not like I can fly out and ask him out or whatever," she added. 

A grin was displayed onto Sasha's face. "I guess you're right," she said and shrugged her shoulders. 

"Now come on… let's go discuss things for Connie," (Y/N) said, pushing past her. 

Sasha grinned again, following her friend. 

-

(Y/N) spent most of the week helping Sasha with her Valentine's Day gift for Connie. Sasha had some odd ideas, but eventually they came to an agreement on a decent idea. 

For some reason, things felt off with Jean.

The past few days she noticed a change in his behavior, he became a little less interested in their conversations and his replies were a bit dry. Of course she blamed it on him maybe being tired from classes or working out, but she wasn't exactly sure if that was the reason. She questioned it a few times, but Jean usually replied with a 'wym?'.

"(Y/N)!? Hello? Come on help me finish this," 

Sasha's voice broke her out of the thoughts she was having. "Sorry! What's up?" she asked, blinking a bit. 

Sasha put the bag of snacks down. "Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting weird all day," she said and crossed her arms. 

(Y/N) sighed. "Yes I'm fine Sasha," she replied and leaned back in her chair.

She nodded her head and sat back down in front of her. "Alright.. can you just organize this for me?" she asked, tossing the bag towards her. 

(Y/N) grabbed the stuff and began to sort through the items Sasha bought Connie. She wasn't exactly alright, she was feeling lonely the past few days. She saw all of her friends getting ready for Valentine's Day with their significant others, while she didn't have anybody. The pink and red boxes of chocolates, the teddy bears, roses, everything! It made her feel lonely and with Jean's behavior… it didn't exactly make it better.

She looked at her phone which displayed no messages from Jean. For some reason he hasn't been messaging her a lot lately. 

2:31 P.M.<- (Y/N): hey :)) 

4:23 P.M.<- (Y/N): i hope your day is going well! ♡

She sighed and went back to the gift for Connie. 

"What are you doing for Valentine's Day, (Y/N)?" Sasha asked and looked up at her. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "Probably just watching Netflix movies," she replied with disappointment in her voice. 

She nodded her head. "What!? No! You're not gonna do that on my watch. Why don't you come hangout with Connie and I?" she asked. 

A laugh escaped her lips. "Yeah I so wanna do that. Watching you two make out and eat is so much fun," she replied in a teasing voice. 

Sasha blushed. "Oh shut up! Come on.. I know you won't have anyone to hang with," she said and pouted a bit. 

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I can always call up Eren or something," she said and laughed a bit. 

Sasha hit her arm. "No! You're hanging with me and that's final! Plus why would you wanna hangout with Eren? He'd probably take you to some party," she said. 

"Yeah you're probably right," (Y/N) replied, chewing her lip. 

She threw her a smile. "Exactly!" she said and went to go look at her phone. 

(Y/N) looked on her own phone as she felt disappointed seeing no messages from Jean. She hated double texting him, she felt like she was a bother and that she was annoying him. Maybe he just didn't have his phone on him. 

A sudden squeal came from Sasha, which made (Y/N) look up in surprise.

"Uh.. are you okay?" she asked and blinked a bit. 

Sasha looked at her, composing herself. "Oh- u-um! Yeah totally, Connie was just telling me something. That's all," she replied and looked down at her phone. 

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Ugh Connie.." she said, shaking her head. 

-

The next two days were kind of difficult for (Y/N). Jean had totally changed his behavior, he was more dry, took longer to respond, and even on their facetime call he didn't seem very interested. If she did want to facetime, he would claim he was busy or he didn't exactly seem to pay attention. 

Her mind raced with different thoughts about the situation. What if Jean was getting tired of her? What if this was the situation all of her friends told her about? How guys who live far end up leaving you for someone who lives near them. It hurt to think about. 

"I don't know his behavior just changed!" 

She was currently ranting to Sasha who came over for a bit. "He's been dry? I mean.. Connie can be dry," she replied, playing with her pillow. 

"No like overly dry, Jean is never dry! He always keeps the conversation going, he doesn't even send me good morning texts anymore either!" she said and sat up. 

Sasha nodded as she listened to her words. "Have you tried asking at all?" she asked. 

(Y/N) sighed. "I did on facetime and he sort of dodged the question," she replied. 

"I dunno (Y/N).. maybe just see what happens? Maybe he's got some personal stuff going on" Sasha said. 

(Y/N) shrugged. "Couldn't say.." 

A sudden ping from Sasha's phone made her ears chirp, she reached over and looked at her phone. She started jumping around excitedly. 

"What? What happened?" (Y/N) asked, furrowing her brows. 

Sasha looked at her. "I gotta go! Connie texted me about something.. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" she said, shoving her phone in her pocket. 

She felt confused as to why Sasha was leaving. "Uh.. yeah, okay. See you later," she replied and watched as Sasha exited her room and out the front door. 

She flopped onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling as her mind clouded with thoughts about Jean. Her mind was playing scenarios she didn't want to see, Jean finding someone else would absolutely crush her. In a way, it would be for the best, considering they haven't even met, but she was in too deep with feelings. She didn't want anybody else. 

She grabbed her phone, she opened their messages and scrolled to see if there was anything she could have said to make him upset. Jean was always one to communicate with her, he'd always tell her if he was having a bad day or someone pissed him off. Why wasn't he doing that now? Her eyes scanned over the most recent message she sent.

7:21 P.M.<- (Y/N): did you go working out? i bet you're getting those gains! <3 lol.

Another sigh escaped her lips reading the words 'delivered'. What was going with him? 

-

It was Valentine's Day. 

(Y/N) wasn't exactly in the best mood today, that feeling of loneliness lingered in her mind as she scrolled through different couples getting gifts and going on special dates. All the things she yearned for. 

She sent Jean a message that morning and of course, he didn't respond. He read her messages from the previous night, but he never sent a genuine response. It made her heart feel heavy, maybe this was it. Maybe Jean just got tired of waiting around for her and found someone better. 

She shoved her phone into her pocket as she knocked on the door of Sasha's apartment. She looked around as many people exited their apartments. 

"Hey! You made it! We have all kinds of snacks!" Sasha yelled, opening the door so she could come inside. 

(Y/N) smiled and stepped in. The aroma of food filled her nose. "Wow Sasha.. this smells great," she said, taking off her shoes. 

Connie came in from the living room holding a plate. "Hey (Y/N)! Good to see you," he said and waved at her. 

She smiled as she plopped down at the kitchen table, she grabbed a few pieces of candy and tossed them into her mouth. She tried to forget the upsetting thoughts for the night. 

"You want something to eat?" Sasha asked as she came over with a plate of food. 

(Y/N) shook her head. "I'm fine.. thank you Sasha," she replied, looking down at the table. 

Connie came over and set a cup of soda in front of her. "Have something to drink at least," he said and sat next to Sasha. 

She swirled around the soda that bubbled towards the top. "Thanks.." she replied and took a sip of the lemon flavored soda. 

The two started eating and (Y/N) sat there looking at her phone, she silently hoped that Jean would message her back. It had been a few hours since she sent her last message, she felt disappointment going through her veins. She guessed that Jean was ghosting her, it hurt a ton, but there wasn't much she could do. 

"(Y/N)! Connie loved the gift!" Sasha said and wiped her mouth with the napkin. 

She nodded and gave a small smile. "Oh that's cool! I'm glad you liked it," she replied and looked towards Connie. 

He smiled. "Yeah it was dope! It had all my favorite snacks," he said, looking at Sasha with a grin.

(Y/N) felt the heaviness in her heart, she wished someone would look at her the way Connie looked at Sasha. 

"Hey what about that Jean guy you were talking to? I meant to ask," Connie asked and looked at her. 

She laughed a bit. "Uh.. well I don't know what's going on with that. He's been kind of distant lately so I guess he's getting tired of me. It's understandable I guess.." she replied, looking down at the floor. 

They could hear the sorrow in her voice. "I'm sorry (Y/N).. you'll find someone, I know you will." Sasha said.

She shrugged and leaned back in her chair. "I don't know guys.. I feel like after this I just wanna focus on me," she said, taking out her phone.

Connie looked over at her. "Don't say that now.. come on, have some hope." he said and gave a playful smile. 

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'll try," she replied. 

Sasha and Connie finished up their food and cleaned the dishes, (Y/N) sat on the couch as the movie played on the tv. It was some romantic movie which she didn't even bother to pay attention to, she didn't exactly want to watch one at the moment. 

Sasha appeared in the living room, she had her phone in her hand. "Hey whatcha doing?" she asked, leaning over to look at her phone. 

"Oh nothing, just scrolling through Instagram," (Y/N) replied and clicked her phone off. 

A ping went off as Sasha got a notification, she looked at her phone as a grin displayed on her features making (Y/N) curious. 

"Did Connie send you nudes in the bathroom or something?" she asked and began to laugh.

A blush crept onto Sasha's cheeks. "What!? Absolutely not! You're so gross (Y/N)!" she yelled, hitting her arm. "Let's play a game, I'm bored." she added and stood up.

(Y/N) nodded. "A game? Sasha I'm not twelve.." she said and leaned against the couch. 

Sasha came in with what seemed to be a blindfold. "Come on! It's fun okay? You just have to feel something and guess what it is," she said, crossing her arms. 

"A blindfold? Jeez Sash.. didn't know you and Connie were into blindfolds," she said, starting to laugh. 

Sasha hit her arm playfully. "Shut up! No I'm not into blindfolds.. you're gross! Just come here," she said and waved her over.

(Y/N) stood up and tossed her phone onto the couch. She walked over to Sasha who seemed excited to play, she hoped that this game wouldn't be weird.

"Alright.. let's get started," Sasha said, going behind her to tie the blindfold over her eyes. 

She faintly heard the sound of the front door opening, she was confused as to who came in. Then she remembered Connie went to go throw out the garbage, so she figured it was Connie coming back in. 

"Okay first thing!" Sasha said and held out the item for her to touch. 

(Y/N)'s fingers brushed over the item, it felt cold. It felt like plastic too, was it a box? It felt smooth.

"Is this like.. a box or something?" she asked, looking around with the blindfold on. 

She heard giggles and laughs coming from Connie and Sasha. "Yeah it's a box! Here's the next item," Sasha said.

Her fingers brushed over the soft material, it felt velvety and smooth. It felt like petals from a flower. 

"Are these flowers?" she asked. 

"Damn (Y/N)! You're good at this! Here's the last thing," Connie said, his voice sounding faded. 

She furrowed her brows as she heard whispering and shuffling, she was tempted to remove the blindfold to see if they were playing a prank.

"Okay here," Sasha said. 

She reached out feeling something hard, it felt like.. a chest? Her brows furrowed again as she ran her fingers along it. 

"Sasha is this your chest? Connie is definitely not this muscular," (Y/N) asked, looking around for their voices. 

Sasha giggled. "No it's not me! You can take your blindfold off in a sec," she said, taking out her phone. 

(Y/N) felt nervous as she kept her hands on the person's chest, they felt warm and she could feel their heart racing against her skin. 

"Okay now!" Sasha yelled. 

(Y/N) removed her blindfold, letting her eyes adjust. When she looked up she was faced with the honey eyes of the person she least expected. 

It was Jean.

Her jaw dropped as her hands slapped over her mouth, she couldn't believe it. He held in his hands flowers and a box of chocolate, the flowers being her favorite. Roses. He stood there smiling at her reaction, she looked back seeing Sasha recording and Connie laughing.

"You're real.." (Y/N) said, looking at Jean with wide eyes. 

He smiled. "I'm real," he replied, opening his arms for her. 

She tackled him with a bone crushing hug, his arms wrapping around her waist surrounding her in his embrace. She inhaled his scent and let his warmth engulf her. 

Tears welled in her hues as she put her hands onto his face. "Pinch me please.." she said and laughed a bit. 

Jean chuckled, cupping her cheek. "I don't think you're dreaming," he replied, pulling her closer. 

"This is so cute I feel like a proud mom," Sasha said as she kept recording. 

(Y/N) looked back. "H-How? How did you get him here?" she asked and nodded. 

Connie rubbed the back of his neck. "We actually were both in on it, we paid for his ticket and everything. He's staying at my place actually," he said, smiling at her. 

"Sasha planned the game too," Jean added and looked towards the brunette. 

(Y/N) pulled Sasha into a tight hug. "I literally love you right now," she said as a few tears escaped down her cheeks. 

"Uh (Y/N)! I think you should be the one telling him that," Sasha said, pointing at Jean. 

She came back over to Jean who handed her the flowers. "Someone as beautiful as you are deserves these in person. Happy Valentine's Day beautiful," he said, smiling down at her. 

She laughed as she took the flowers, her heart swelling. "Thank you really.." she replied, pulling him into another hug. 

He put his arms around her, he felt his heart flutter as he felt her touch. "Do you want to..?" 

"Get out of here?" she asked, nodding. 

The two looked back at Sasha and Connie. "Knock yourselves out! Don't have too much fun (Y/N).." Connie said and smirked devilishly.

Heat rushed onto her cheeks. "I'd like to say the same to you both," Jean said, putting his arm around her shoulder. 

Connie and Sasha both turned red. "Okay! Bye Jean and (Y/N)! Have fun!" Sasha said and ran out of the room. 

They both turned to one another, laughs escaping both of their lips. "Let's go," she said, fishing around her pockets for her car keys. 

Jean followed her out of Sasha's apartment building to her car, his hands brushing over her fingers a few times making her cheeks hot. 

Once in the car, she began the drive back to her apartment. She couldn't keep her eyes off Jean, he looked so much better in person. All of his features stood out, his jawline, his hair, and his amazing eyes. 

"You know.. you're 100x more beautiful in person," Jean said, breaking the silence between them. 

She smiled. "Thank you… you're 100x more handsome," she replied and looked over at the passenger side. 

Jean felt his cheeks grow red from her words. "I never thought in a million years I'd meet you this soon," he said and leaned back in his seat. 

She laughed a bit. "I could say the same.. Sasha told me nothing about this," she replied, turning the steering wheel.

A chuckle erupted in his throat. "It was meant to be kept secret. Connie and Sasha both messaged me about it and I was in," he said.

"I thought you were ghosting me at first.. I was so bummed at her house,"

Jean looked over at her. "Oh never.. I'd never ghost you. Connie told me to just put distance so it wouldn't seem weird," he said, brushing his fingers over her arm.

Tingles ran around her body as he touched her. "I should have known something was up," she said and shook her head. "Anyway, we're here." she added, taking off her seatbelt. 

Jean exited the car with her. He followed her up the stairs to her apartment. She opened the door and removed her shoes, Jean stepped in and eyed the room. She kept it clean and organized. 

"Nice place," Jean said and smiled at her. 

She looked back at him. "Oh thank you.. it means a lot," she replied, placing his gifts on the counter. 

The two stood there for a moment just taking in their appearances. She felt her heart racing as Jean stood there eyeing her. 

"So um.. what do you wanna do?" Jean asked, looking down at her. 

She leaned against the wall. "I dunno.. maybe we can watch a movie in bed?" she asked, nodding.

"Sounds like a plan.. I gotta call Connie. He needs to drop my shit off in the morning if I'm sleeping here," he said and took out his phone. 

(Y/N) rocked on her heels. "Sounds good! Um.. I'll be right back, I'm gonna change." she replied and made her way to her room.

Jean texted Connie and within seconds he responded with an 'ok'. He walked towards the room where (Y/N) was, her room was decorated nicely. She knew how to keep it clean. He noticed the familiar sights he used to see on facetime. 

She came from the bathroom wearing shorts and a t-shirt. "Come sit," she said and hopped on her bed. 

Jean felt stiff, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable or make any moves that were too quick. 

"So uh… what kind of movie do you wanna watch?" he asked, looking at her nervously. 

"Hmm.. horror?" she replied, looking back at him as she turned on the tv. 

He nodded. "Sounds like a plan," he said and leaned back against the pillows on her bed. 

She put on one of the horror movies and lied down next to him, her hands brushed over his arm veins. She traced lines where his muscles were. Goosebumps littered onto his skin feeling her touch. 

"Don't be so stiff.. you aren't going to hurt me," (Y/N) said leaning up a bit. 

He felt his nerves loosen up at her words. "Sorry.. I just don't wanna come off as a creep," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. 

She giggled, moving his arm so it was now around her waist. "You aren't a creep to me at all," she said, laying her head on his chest. 

Jean's grip on her waist tightened as he brought her body closer to his. He imagined nights like these for so long, his arms around her holding her close so she never slips away. 

She felt so warm next to him. 

As the night went on, (Y/N) felt her eyes become droopy. She started to snooze against his chest, Jean smiled hearing her small snores and the way she twitched. He turned off the lamp and pulled the covers over the two of them. 

-

The next morning Jean was awoken by (Y/N) moving out of his embrace. Her eyes trying to get used to the light that shone into her room, she grabbed her phone, the time reading 10:12 A.M. 

She turned over to look at Jean who was awake. A giggle escaped her lips as she cuddled back into him. 

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," she said and traced his muscles with her fingers. 

He squeezed the flesh of her waist. "Don't worry about it," he replied and lied his chin onto her head. "What do you wanna do today, beautiful?" he asked.

She sighed. "Do you wanna just relax and chill? We don't have to go anywhere," she replied, looking up at him. 

"Sounds fine by me," Jean said, staring up at the ceiling. 

The two lied there for a few minutes before deciding to get dressed and ready for the day, Jean noticed his suitcases were at the front door. (Y/N) told him that Sasha had a spare key so she most likely stopped by while they were asleep. It made him laugh but also a little weirded out. 

They both changed and lied around (Y/N)'s place, they took many photos together and goofed off. She never felt happier than she did in those moments, Jean didn't want to stop touching her. He loved feeling her smooth skin against his, he held her hand or brushed against her arm. Not in a creepy way of course. 

It was around 6:30 in the afternoon, Jean and (Y/N) messed around in her apartment for most of the day. Watching movies, ordering food, taking photos, etc. It had been an amazing day. 

"Hey Jean.." (Y/N) said, reaching up to play with the strands of his hair. 

He looked down at her. "What's up?" he asked. 

She smiled. "Do you wanna go to the pier near my house? We can watch the sunset," she asked, nodding her head. 

His face lit up with excitement. "Hell yes! Let's go right now," he replied. 

The two rushed out of the apartment and went to her car, the sun was going to set pretty soon, so they wanted to get to the pier at a decent time to see it all. 

The car ride was fun, the two blasted music and sang along with the words. 

Eventually, the two arrived at the pier. Many people walked along the sidewalks with each other, the summer air felt nice. Jean held her hand as they made their way up to the dock, some people leaned along the sides talking with one another. 

The sun shined onto their faces, Jean's honey eyes looked like pure gold as the sun passed through them. 

The tide from the waves crashed below them the seagulls flew in the sky or onto the ground. 

"It's so pretty.." (Y/N) said, smiling as she leaned against the railing staring at the setting sun.

Jean admired the sky as it was painted with purples and oranges. "Yeah.. but not as pretty as you are," he said and held her hand in his. 

She looked absolutely stunning to him. The way the sun shined over her skin and the way the wind lightly blew along her hair made his heart swell. 

She was truly the most beautiful girl he ever laid his eyes on. 

"I always imagined coming here with you.. it was my dream date," she said and smiled.

Jean took her hand into his. "Can I ask you something?" he asked. 

She looked up at him. "Of course Jean," she replied and brushed a few strands of hair out of his face. 

He let out a shaky breath. "(Y/N)... I never thought I'd ever get to meet you, but now that I have I realized how amazing you are. You're so beautiful.. don't even get me started on your smile either. You've made today so great and I've been meaning to ask you this question for so long. My feelings for you are strong and I can't imagine my life without you by my side," he said. "Will you be my girlfriend?" 

She felt her heart burst at his words, she couldn't deny what she felt for Jean. "Yes! Yes!" she replied, putting her arms around his neck. 

He smiled as he put his arms around her waist. "I love you.." he whispered. 

Her eyes went wide. "I love you too.." she said, leaning into his face and pressing her lips onto his. 

The kiss was passionate, his lips felt smooth and soft. It took her breath away. 

"I promise I'll make you feel like a princess," Jean said and cupped her cheek. "I'll never let you go," he added. 

She felt small tears form into her eyes. "I'll never let you go either," she said and smiled at him.

They stood there for awhile watching as the sun slowly disappeared behind the clouds, the sky painted in bright oranges and dark blues. 

Arriving back home they both rushed up the stairs to her apartment. She unlocked it and pulled him into a heated kiss, the kiss feeling hot.

Jean made his way to the couch, his hands on her hips. "I didn't know you were this good of a kisser.." he whispered, smirking as he kissed her. 

"I guess we're both full of surprises," she replied and put her arms around his neck.

He sat down on the couch, her thighs on either side of his legs. "Wait.." Jean said, breaking the kiss between them. "I need to mention one more thing," he added, looking up at her. 

She nodded. "What's up?" she asked. 

He felt a smile grow onto his lips. "I know I leave in two days but.. I wanted to let you know that I was pricing apartments around here as well as schooling.. and I found out I got accepted," he said. 

Her jaw dropped hearing the news. "What!? No way! You're lying! Does that mean.." she said. 

"I won't be far away anymore my love," he replied, cupping her cheek. "It's gonna take awhile for me to move in, but I should be here by the end of next month." 

She felt excitement coursing through her. "That's great!" she said. 

"I mean it when I say it that I do love you (Y/N).. it's not me saying that to impress you, I truly do." he said, smiling at her. "I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I want a future with you," he added. 

She felt a smile grow onto her cheeks. "I love you too Jean… I want you with me forever," she said, running her fingers along his face. 

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her lips. "Your wish is granted baby," he said and pressed his lips against hers. 

She giggled, leaning down towards him. "What do you say we celebrate?" she asked, smirking. 

He eyed her hungrily. "Oh you wanna be like that huh? Consider it your special Valentine's Day treat," he replied, bringing her body close to his.

[sourholland]

Ooooh angst “what about us?” “there is no us, there never was.” with tom plssss! Really love ur work 🌸

Last Kiss || Tom Holland

Summary → After a fling you and Tom had started while filming a movie together, he tells you that you two can’t be together anymore. Once you get home, Tom let’s you know that he made a mistake.

AN → This was supposed to come out yesterday, I just got lazy and waited to edit it. I can’t tell if I like how this came out or hate it, either way, I hope you guys like this. Also in honor of the Fearless re-record!!

Pairing(s) → Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Warnings → Strong Language, Suggestive, Alcohol Use

Prompt(s) → 38

Word Count → 1.9k

The ringing of your phone sounded through your apartment loudly, the sound of the rain pattering loudly against the windows out-looking New York City. You set down the remote, feet padding against the cold hardwood while you looked for your buzzing cellphone.

You didn’t bother glancing at the caller ID, picking it up bringing it to your ear all in one quick motion.

“Hello?” You said, pulling a wine glass down from the cabinet.

“Y/N?” Tom’s voice came through the phone.

Your heart dropped, a breath catching in your throat while you stood in your kitchen. He was across the country, wanting nothing to do with you. He repeated your name through the phone, asking if you were there.

“Yeah, I’m here,” you answered, pouring more wine than you’d originally intended into the glass.

“Isn’t it like one in the morning in England?” You asked, listening to the muffles coming through the speaker.

“Yeah—yeah, it’s late here. I just couldn’t sleep, and I started to think of you. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have called.”

You sat at one of the barstools, swirling the red contents of the glass around. You wanted to yell at him, or maybe you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You sat silently for a few moments, bare legs cold from the draft.

“Tom,” you started. “I just don’t get why we have to rehash the past, you know? I came back to New York, just like you told me I should. You’re working on whatever new movie, I’m doing the same. I don’t know—I just think we should leave whatever happened between us alone. You made it very clear that it was me that you didn’t want,” you mumbled, pulling at the sleeves of your sweater.

He audibly sighed, the ruffling of sheets coming through the phone. He was probably in bed, if he wasn’t so far away you’d have asked him if this was a sad attempt at getting you to sleep with him.

“I was fucking stupid, and I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry, I’ve said that a million times,” his voice was hoarse and tired.

“I’ve already forgiven you, Tom. I just can’t keep doing this—this thing with you.”

You both went quiet for a minute, the only sound being the noise from outside in the bustling streets of the city and the rain. You knew you should hang up, block his number and forget about anything you two ever had. You’d tried a few times, unable to bring yourself to doing it.

“What about us?” He asked lowly, a twinge of hurt in his tired voice.

“There is no us, Tom,” you replied. “I’m not even sure there ever was.”

He didn’t say anything, you wanted to let out the repressed cry and tell him you didn’t mean it. That you were sorry and that you thought about him more than you’d like to admit. Something in you knew if you didn’t do your best to cut it off, you two would continue down the same everlasting cycle.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay.”

The line went silent for a moment, and then your home screen lit up. The call had been ended. You downed the remainder of your wine, ditching the cup and just going for the bottle. You thought about calling him back, about apologizing and booking a plane ticket like some lovesick teenager.

You opened Instagram and began scrolling through your feed of posts, liking and commenting occasionally. You weren’t anywhere near drunk, merely tipsy and heartbroken. Your finger lingered on the button to go live, wondering if you really wanted thousands of people to see you in this state.

You left the kitchen and instead propped your phone against the couch, taking a seat on the white rug of your living room. You wearily pressed the go live button, raising the bottle to your chapped lips once more. You are pathetic, you thought.

“Hey guys!” You smiled at the camera and outpouring of greetings in the comments. Within a few minutes you’d racked in a few thousand viewers. You grabbed the guitar sitting against your wall and strummed the cords lightly while it sat in your lap.

userone: you are so adorable

usertwo: can you please say hi?!!!??

userthree: it’s my birthday y/n!

“I’m sorry I haven’t been very active on social media, guys. It’s been super crazy traveling back and forth from London to New York and then having to leave again in a few weeks. And now I’m sitting on my living room floor with a bottle of wine,” you laughed. A few familiar people popped into the comments of the live, some you’ve worked with and some you’ve yet to meet in person.

florencepugh: y/n!!!

gracieabrams: might just bust out the wine just for u

“Florence, I can’t wait to see you soon!” You smiled, “Gracie, I swear it’s making everything like a hundred times better.”

userfour: i’m in love with her

userfive: y/n saving 2021???!!!

“I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be singing,” you flushed. You did sing, before getting into acting you’d post a lot on Instagram and TikTok. It’d always been more of a hobby, something you loved to do, but weren’t good enough to pursue.

“I’ve had a little too much to drink,” you added. “So don’t get upset if I’m a little pitchy, guys.”

usersix: if she’s pitchy i’m not sure what i am

userseven: sing taylor swift!!!

“Okay, okay!” You chuckled, scrolling through the hundreds of comments saying to play Taylor Swift. You’d only just been crying to like three of her albums a few hours before.

“How about the chorus—and maybe the bridge too, yeah, that’ll work,” you mumbled to yourself, fiddling with the strings. “Alright, guys, Last Kiss it is. I won’t bore you all with the whole thing, though. I could never do Taylor justice.”

“And I’ll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes”

Getting involved with him was singlehandedly the most stupid decision you’ve ever made, you thought. Late nights in his flat after long nights on set, ordering in and just talking, you two would talk as if you’d known each other your whole lives. It was something about the way he’d let you wear his clothes, or the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear while you told him about whatever insignificant thing that had happened that day.

“All that I know,

I don’t know how to be something you miss”

The car ride to the airport was the worst, it was grey and cold outside. There was makeup running down your face, mascara covering your eyes generously. You’d wrapped filming a week earlier, unable to bring yourself to walk away from him.

You couldn’t tell the driver to turn you around, or could you? Tom had already made it clear that you were both in different places in your career. This wasn’t what he wanted. You weren’t what he wanted.

“I never thought we’d have our last kiss”

He had held you just a little tighter, you ran your fingers through his hair for just a second longer. The taste of each other lingering on the both of your lips. Like you knew it would be the last time he’d hold you without knowing.

His stupid smiled, the way he pulled away and ran his thumb over your swollen bottom lip. You were almost wrapped around his finger, absolutely sickened with desire and infatuation for him.

“I never imagined we’d end like this,

Your name, forever the name on my lips”

The day you’d left to come home to New York started with a huge argument between the two of you. He’d basically just told you that you’d both known from the beginning you wouldn’t last together. It wasn’t a matter of how much you cared for one another, but that it was impossible, as he put it.

His eyes glossed over and bloodshot, you a complete and utter mess. Slamming the door behind you as you left was one of the most painful things you’d ever endured. Even more painful, the fact that he never came after you.

“So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep”

“I can feel you staring at me, love,” he murmured against the pillow.

Your face heated, eyes averting to the stream of light through the sheerness of the curtains. He leaned into you a moment later, his lips soft on your own. He was warm, he was always so warm. You cupped the side of his face gently, pulling him in a bit harder.

“And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”

You dropped your bags, stepping into your apartment after months of being away. It felt quieter than usual, desolate and empty from your being away. It was dark out, the illumination of the bright city lights from your windows.

You glanced down at your phone for a moment, not a missed call, not a text, not even a fucking notification. He’d simply told you to go home, nothing more nothing less.

“I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are,

Hope it’s nice where you are”

You’d texted Harrison a few times, regretting it almost immediately after. He was sweet, telling you that Tom would come around eventually and to just be patient. You’d relied on those kind words for some time, eventually deleting them all together.

After Tom’s first text, you’d realized he wasn’t coming around or regretting what he’d said to you. He was lonely, maybe even a bit desperate. For months you had been there to listen to him and hold him, and now you were gone.

You’d fed into it the first few times, sitting on the phone with him for hours at a time. Then you started to feel worse hearing his voice, silent sobs escaping as you’d listen to him ramble. Then your finger would linger over the decline button a little longer than usual when he’d call, until eventually you started to use it.

“And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day,

And something reminds you,

You wish you had stayed”

Once you started to go out with other guys, Tom’s ‘I miss you’ texts became more infrequent. Paparazzi would snap pictures, and the next morning they’d be plastered all over the internet.

There was no doubt he was seeing you going out with other people, watching article after article about who you were dating surface. Would he be jealous? No, you thought. Tom was probably doing the same thing as you. Hopeless hookups, meaningless blind dates.

“You can plan for a change in the weather and time”

One early morning, you found yourself in a sweatshirt you’d stolen from one of his drawers and forgotten to return. Listening to the morning rush of traffic and hugging yourself, noticing the lingering smell of his cologne.

You wondered if he knew you’d taken it, if he would think you were pathetic wearing it months after you two had broken things off. This only made you clutch yourself a little tighter, closing your eyes and trying to remember.

“But I never planned on you changing your mind”