#my friend is GAY AS A MOTHERFUCKER... AND SO WAS THEIR DAD

[unloneliest]

the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.

[sporadicallyanenthusiast]

Telemachus is so much stronger than me for real. Cause if I had traveled for days, by sea AND land, arrived at the palace of my father's friend and my mother's cousin to humbly ask if they know anything about my missing father and instead of just fucking telling me already, this mf started a monologue about how gay he is for my dad and about the time he captured a God that granted him wishes three, I'd already be telling him to Hurry The Fuck Up. IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

But if the same motherfucker then turned around and told me that he had known FOR YEARS NOW that my dad is trapped on an island AND THE MOTHERFUCKER DIDN'T TELL ANYONE!!!! NOT A SINGLE LETTER!!! I would have already strangled Menelaus with that fucking blond hair of his in front of his wife and children, unhelpful son of a bitch.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Unscripted Undefeated Bracket — Round 3−1

Propaganda

Trish Una (Riley Hopkins and Their Amazing Friends: Interstitial Infinity):

Trish Una is a girl who is certain she knows what's going on. She shishkebobed Simon from Infinity Train. She is best friends with Shadow the Hedgehog, Mob from Mob Psycho, Alphonse Elric, and technically Shoka Sakurane.

She is emotionally compromised and definitely not turning into her father

Trish "is it stands" Una is the type of motherfuckers you need to see to be believed. Trish & Carrie toxic Yuri. Trish the fucking Spirit of justice. Trish is the real one.

Please vote for my close friend Trish Una or else you leave without saying goodbye to her

TRISH "THE MONEY" UNA

Mod Note: This is only the Trish Una from the podcast Riley Hopkins And Their Amazing Friends. Do not vote on the basis of any other Trish Una.

Dr. Mann (Dungeons & Daddies: The Peachyville Horror):

doctor mann OBJECTIVELY fucks he literally did Tony Collette.

Dr Mann is so sexy bro istg

doctor mann the mann of all time fellas is it gay to kiss menn?

Trish Una art by @waalkr.

Art of Dr. Mann courtesy of @nat-without-a-g.

Additional propaganda below the cut:

Trish Una (Riley Hopkins and Their Amazing Friends: Interstitial Infinity):

Trish Una, from the universe of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, ensures that the hits start coming and they don't stop coming. Trush Ina, from JJBA, fights Rachel from Animorphs and wins. T. Una Sandwich, from Jimmy John's Brash Accumulation, is best friends with Shadow the Hedgehog and she's also my dad. T-Minus Uno, from Chipotle,

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

Dr. Mann (Dungeons & Daddies: The Peachyville Horror):

fellas, is it gay to light your cigarette with the tip of another man’s cigarette?

[doueverwonder]

okay you've gotten me hooked on the military branches in WTTT, I'm seriously considering making designs for them all now 😭

in the meantime tho

Do you have any headcanons for Marines? Would he be friends with any of the states? (Maybe Texas? Idk he was my first thought)

Also him crying about a box of limited edition crayons in the other post u made is AMAZING and so so real 🙏

if you are considering making designs for them i offer my faceclaims for them as basis maybe 👀

okay so, i don't particularly think the branches are markedly close with any of the states or even Gov tbh (minus Nash obviously). They're busy and all over the place, including regularly outside of the country, they speak way more often with other federal personifications. Think the way CDC comes around sometimes but we all know he's gotta have other stuff going on behind the scenes, (the branches main points of contact are IDC, Defense, Homeland Security, and Veterans Affairs.)

That's not to say they don't/can't/won't get to know or hang around the states its just kinda far and in between stuff. and they DO tend to know the states that have spent extended periods of time in the military better than others (all states have probably been in/heavily involved in the military at some point some just made it a whole thing while others did what they had to and got out). (like obsessed with @and-the-flame-burns NY was in the navy hc and think bc of that NY and Navy are somewhat closer than Navy would be with the average state)

okay I'm done, that was a rant, onto Marines HC :)

I could see Texas and Marines being friends but its probably less of a traditional friendship and more,,, picking on each other (tx was/is in the army), pissing contests, and a healthy dose of mutual respect. Kinda guy you could go out for a beer with and have a good conversation, but not the person you're going to call first for anything y'know.

so obv u can see my faceclaim but ALSO Marines in my head is based off one of my dads clients who was a marine and hated carrying around the battering ram so he learned how to knock down doors without it then convinced his commander to let him leave the ram behind; he agreed on the condition that they better never come across a door he can't open. and they never did. his entire 12 yrs in the Marine Corps there was never a door stronger than him. that is to illustrate when I say Marines is big and intimidating I mean it.

stereotypes ik but he is,,, not the brightest crayon in the box. Which he's not a total idiot, so much as he just doesn't think shit through entirely before doing them, he's a man of action not thought.

He's Gay thank you for your time.

(Only attracted to men but got through 240 years of queer people not being allowed in the military just fine, while Navy's bi ass was STRUGGLING despite having dated multiple women (he's got a girl in every port ;))

speaking of Navy, codependent motherfuckers. The loui and flo of the branches. are they dating. are they best friends. will they die if they're separated for more than 20 min. maybe. they sure acted like it when it got out there would no longer be marine detachments on most navy ships. coast is praying he never ends up in the DOD under the dept of the navy bc he is NOT getting stuck between these two.

(also this post by @floridagirlboy is canon to me)

"do i even weigh anything to you" "no, its like holding a couple of grapes" is Marines with Air and Space Force

(Dept of Defense walking into the meeting and seeing them sitting on his shoulders: Air, Space, you have planes and satellites if you want to see from up high. Stop asking Marines to pick you up.)

uhh that's all I think.

Those crayons are his prized possession bc Space Force is little and new and has a whole lot of stuff to figure out and YET she still remembered his birthday and got him something. cuteness aggression like never seen before incoming/j

[stars-an-lilacs]

QSMP

I'm so upset that none of my friends are into the qsmp. Like, what do you mean you don't care about gay minecraft roleplay???? How could you not be completely invested in a 36 year old man's fake platonic husband and their two egg children in a minecraft server??

The worst part is they won't even let me mention them. I can't make any damn references to anyone without getting confused glares. Like, sorry you refuse to watch every vod from every creator on the server and don't understand the lore.

It's so cool because of the amount of people on the server, like there are SO many perspectives to see things from and so many different story lines to get invested in. Personally, my favorite storyline was Ph1lzA and the Enderking thing. I've always loved the concept of a character being corrupted or possessed and forcing them to hurt their loved ones(don't question me). Tallulah and Chayanne's admins did SO good. So did Phil, he sounded like a whole different person. And Phil was the best person to do this to. He's practically everyone's dad on the server, so seeing such a caring and fun guy to get aggressive and threaten his own children was scary and a great arc for him to experience.

I also absolutely LOVE the ships. Like you can't TELL me that you don't absolutely love Roier and Cellbit's relationship. Pac and Fit? OH MY GOOOOOD. I love the fanart and fanfics of them 😭 (I ship the characters in the actual server, not the content creators). I love Deathduo. Missa x Ph1lzA forever. They make such a good duo with how they interact around each other and the eggs. Roier and Cellbit have such a cute dynamic, I loved that one time Cellbit was running away and trying to blow himself up, and Roier went, "No, you can't kill yourself! You're too sexy!" They are so silly together, and I just think they're so cute.

Also the fandom is absolutely beautiful. I love all the fanart and memes, the fanfics and animatics. OH MY GODS. I really wish I had the confidence to make fanart or fanfics, I'm too nervous that I'll get info wrong or have a bad headcannon lol. I adore looking at the way people draw the eggs. My favorite designs are when they're bipedal dragons or like they're half hatched and their legs are sticking out of the shell 😭 its so cute!!! I still don't mind when they're just drawn like kids but with dragon features.

I loved Tallulah and her story, including Wilbur. I don't like Wilbur for what he did (even if it might be fake I genuinely don't know anymore) but I like him as a character in the qsmp. I love all the clips of Wilbur and Tallulah. Like when Lullah brought a gorilla into the garden and she was just so happy but Wilbur was absolutely terrified was so funny. The way he basically gentle parented her was adorable, like he didn't know how to raise a kid and just wanted her to be happy. (Wilbur is a horrible person, if the allegations are true, and I don't support him. I just like his character in the story but still understand why some people wouldn't like his character)

The humor is probably the best part. There are so many quotable things. One thing that I specifically remember was when Phil went to wake up one of the eggs (when they were all in hospital beds or smt IDK-) with Pac and someone else, Phil got downed by a warden and Pac went up to him and said, "Philza. I am here." in an overly manly voice, or something like that. Also I love just randomly saying quotes and pretending like everyone understands and thinks I'm cool. "we are all going to die. the sun is a false god but a true threat." -Gegg "IN THIS WORLD THERE ARE 2 GENDERS, PAIN AND SUFFERING" -Dapper "Geez abuelito I didn't know you were into drama omg slay" -Tallulah "heaven is homophobic motherfucker son of a bitch" -Roier

Anyways, I need more QSMP obsessed friends to talk to <3

(part 2 coming soon <3)

[lavenderbugg]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMING !!!!!!!!!!!! CRYING !!!!!!!!!!!!!! THROWING UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm living for the horse call out at the beginning of the episode, that was iconic.

Stolas waking up COVERED in stuffed animals omg Blitzø is so in love I'm going to cry.

Blitzø is so happy and Stolas is so depressed, I can't blame him but goddamn.

Hunting for rats 🐀 yes get your man some food go off king

Welcome to poverty bitch, viva la revolution

The 2 gay dads were so beautiful and it was really touching that Blitzø and Mox called it off.

I need Blitzø to read that journal omg

Stolas this is corporate America Hell, Welcome to the workforce bb.

Via's song was so beautiful and so heartbreaking wtf.

I LOVE THAT STOLAS BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ANDREAPHUS fuck your rich petty word fight eat fist motherfucker

IMP saving stolas in such a badass way was perfect.

THEIR FALLING KISS WTF

I can't get over Blitzø cooking for Stolas it's so tender.

MILLIE IS PREGNANT

Loonas friends omg I'm so proud of her!!

THEIR DANCE !!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP YES WOO YOUR MAN BLITZØ

This episode was so fucking beautiful. Genuinely this is my favorite show I'm so in love. I can't wait for more (but I will bc I know art takes time). Truly phenomenal job to everyone goddamn

[liggy-not-potter]

hello :3 i’m liggy, i’m 15 (a minor, don’t be creepy), ace and possibly somewhere on the aro spectrum i’m too damn lazy to find a label.

hobbies

i’m in a lot of fandoms, so i probably can’t list them all here. harry potter, both canon era and marauders (fuck jkr) and the fanfic i’m writing where harry has a sister no one knew abt. (posting that on ao3). legendborn, percy jackson (i’m not done with it so no spoilers please), mcu, the owl house, gravity falls, amphibia

i write songs and poetry, i play piano, ukulele, violin and guitar i like drawing but i’m not good at it

dni the usual. if you discriminate against any minorities or hate people solely because of a group they belong to (religion/lack thereof, race, sexuality, gender orientation)(unless it’s stuff like terfs, neo-nazis and such bullshit if it’s a group that causes harm intentionally you’re right to hate them)

random shit

i have adhd and most likely a hint of something else neurodivergent (i think it’s the tism). i’m a mess, but at least i’m not boring i’m a minor so don’t be creepy, i don’t care abt interacting with adults as long as you aren’t being a creep i refer to myself in the third person sometimes, get the fuck over it gryffindor - enfp

the rats (my moots) @jamespotterbbg — kay — my first moot, chaotic, mentally ill as the rest of this site, is the reason i’ve even interacted with half of these people @garden-of-runar — runaround — talented poet, fellow defender of bagels, absolutely and entirely concerning, you’ll never know their next move @melonhead10 — wife of mine — silly little rat, one of the only people on here i know irl, rarely online bc strict parents, if she is online it’s to look at shiny duo and tangled the series @eef-stars — british ethan — the gay dad friend of this whole hellsite. king of deactivating and coming back out of nowhere. happily in love with @kawaiibarty @kawaiibarty — james the baked bean — short, gay and irresponsible. has too many doggies but we don’t care bc doggies are great. changes his url every two seconds. in love with @eef-stars @tequilaqueen — bea — possibly an alcoholic, you’ll never know. hates bagels and commits war crimes. @crowleys-mortalcounterpart — brie — my child. genderfluid lesbian variant of remus lupin. some unknown flavor of neurodivergent. i also know them irl. @0urazz — satan — brie’s sister and my daughter. chaos incarnate, addicted to regretevator and some other random ass roblox games. one step away from being gen alpha. the attention span and brain capacity of a grain of rice. violently affectionate. ik her irl as well @thejudeduarte — jude — cruel prince and legendborn fan. really nice and sometimes chaotic. @iamaladder — stepladder (ethan’s version) — chaotic aarakocra boi, also known as old man ethan, another person i know irl @thestrawberryapologist — mari — purchaser of jams, very goofy, does silly sitcom rp with me, recently returned to tumblr after disappearing on us

interactions

blow up my ask box, tag me on stuff, and message me all you want. i love being on here and talking to people and making friends <3

my pinterest poetry side blog: @liggy-attempts-poetry outsiders oc blog: @nya-rosalie ask game: here ask game 2: here ask game 3: here

my tags: liggy rambles: all my random ass posts liggy found an ask: i answer asks liggy attempts to sing: i sing liggy attempts poetry: my (likely reblogged from side-blog) poetry nonsense liggy special: i most likely did something fucking stupid jam murder sitcom: a silly sitcom thing i do with mari to the queue you go motherfucker: my queued posts, likely because i’m out of town. liggy rambles in the tags: i rant to everyone and no one in the tags

[violetspots-2007]

Part 2 to that Welcome Home Incorrect Quotes post I made, like, a year ago. Wow how productive of me.

.

Poppy: Good morning.

Julie: Good morning.

Eddie: Good morning.

Barnaby: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Sally: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

.

Barnaby, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Frank: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Barnaby:

Barnaby: Water you doing?

.

Julie, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Frank: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

.

Wally: Good. Thanks, dad.

Poppy: You just called Eddie “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Wally: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Eddie: Do you see me as a father figure, Wally?

Wally: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Howdy: Hey! Show your father some respect!

.

Howdy: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.

Howdy: Anyways, you said Wally is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

.

Eddie: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby.

Wally: What baby?

Eddie, crying a bit: Me.

.

Wally: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio!

.

Howdy: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

.

Frank, looking at a selfie of Wally's: I hate this photo.

Wally: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.

Frank: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.

Wally: Up to kindness.

.

*at a zoo*

Julie: What are they in for?

Frank: Julie, this isn't prison.

Julie: So they can leave?

Frank: No, but-

Julie, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

.

Poppy: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Poppy, points at Sally: Married a lesbian.

Poppy, points at Julie: Left a man at the altar.

Poppy, points at Wally: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.

Poppy, points at Barnaby: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire.

Poppy, points at Howdy: Lives in a box!

.

Julie: Frank and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Frank: We what?

.

Wally: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Barnaby:

Barnaby: I like you.

.

Eddie: I think I'm falling for you.

Frank: Then get up.

.

Julie: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?

Frank, exasperated: WHY?!?

Frank points at Barnaby: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Frank points at Wally: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Frank points at Julie: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Frank: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

.

Howdy: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Frank: Oh. We're going out?

Howdy: Wh…

.

Wally: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Wally: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

.

Sally: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.

Howdy: Ducks can’t eat lightbulbs?

Barnaby: I think that’s the point.

Sally: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

.

Julie: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?

Frank: ICARUS?

.

*at an awards show*

Poppy: Can I carry you on my back like Eddie did?

Wally: I don't think Barnaby would like that.

Poppy: *pouts*

*Later*

Poppy: *carrying Wally on their back*

Barnaby: What the hell??

Wally: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

.

Frank: I have very high standards, you know.

Eddie: I can make spaghetti...

Frank: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

.

Wally: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Wally: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Wally: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Barnaby: This is Monopoly.

.

Wally: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Barnaby: *crouches down*

Frank: *kneels down*

Poppy: *sits on the floor*

Wally:

Wally: I hate all of you.

.

*Sally is crying after a breakup*

Eddie: There there, Sally.

Sally, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Eddie: Great question—

.

Barnaby, knocking on the door: Howdy, open up!

Howdy: It all started when I was a kid.

Barnaby: That’s not what I-

Sally: Let them finish!

.

Julie, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.

.

Julie: War is heck!

.

Sally: What’s it like being tall?

Sally: Is it nice?

Sally: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Poppy: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Wally: It was one time!

.

Howdy: Last night I found out Barnaby is a sleep talker.

Poppy: Oh, really?

Howdy: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

.

Wally: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey!

Poppy: But I'm a vegan.

Wally: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

.

Howdy: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Sally: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Julie: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Eddie: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Barnaby: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Wally: Mental stability, my old friend!

Howdy: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

.

Frank, looking over Wally’s shoulder: You can draw?

Wally, stopping what they were doing: You can speak?

.

Wally, near tears: Please, Neighbor, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

.

Julie: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Frank has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

Eddie: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at?

Julie: I knew you’d understand.

.

Wally: Julie noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.

Sally: This reminds me of the Julie who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.

Wally: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Julie.

.

Julie: What do I get?

Sally: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Julie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Sally: It won't be you.

Julie: I'll get my coat.

.

Wally: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.

Barnaby: What hints have you given them?

Wally: Well, I think about them a lot.

Wally: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

.

Poppy: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Julie: How can you still say that?

Poppy: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

.

Julie: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.

Barnaby, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

.

Wally: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

.

Julie, holding a scooter: Poppy! Can I go outside and play with this?

Poppy: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay?

Julie, running outside: Thanks Poppy!

Poppy, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

.

Sally: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful...

Frank: I just wanna fucking marry Eddie!!

.

Eddie: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Julie: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Wally: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Sally: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

.

Frank: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Frank, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

.

I did it :D

[socratesgirlnextdoor]

an updated ranked list of the lost characters now that i'm on early season 5 (spoilers)

jack fucking shephard - 8.99/10. insane 180° turn for jack. i spent two seasons yawning everytime he did anything. season 3 episode 1 BOOM smack pow those are the sounds of him beating up his father at an AA meeting in his delusions. season 3 made him one of my favourites, this insane insane babygirl doomed to become his father. oh we like jack now

james sawyer ford - 9.1, my shaylaaaaaaa noooooo he thinks his boyf and girlf are dead AND HIS BEST FRIEND NOOOOOO poor pookie. he finally got that sawyer bitch and it was great. not for sawyer because i dont want him to go through pain but fuck anthony cooper boooo anyways. since s2 he has gotten more sympathetic for sure uhhh shoutout the girl dad confirmation? i like when sawyer loses to hurley at anything ❤

kate austen - 9/10. kate austen pisses me off in parts of season 3 and 4 but she is still the love of my life and honestly that's all okay she's raising claire's baby and had a dream about her so i know some doomed yuri is in the future and im excited

ben linus - 2/10 / 90/10. i hate him so much but after a while i will ask where he is because i love a good freak who talks like that and is always big wide eyes

locke - 3/10, mr clean looking ass

charlie - 7.5/10, charlie devoured his final season. greatest hits is such a beautiful episode and his death is so well executed it increases my opinion of him. too bad he left the ring at the bottom of a crib that would truly disappear soon

hurley - 8/10, he's the cutie patootie! love his relationship with sawyer because at least sawyer doesn't make him do stitches he just makes him do games that he's good at. but poor hurley. though i am sorry but lying about the island is just responsible shut up about it

penelope - 11/10 diva deserves better but also if penelope widmore didn't want this pathetic man with the 8 different backstories she just wouldn't have him so diva deserves whatever she wants

desmond - 7/10, fellas is it gay to name your son after a man fate decided to tie you with

charlotte lewis - 5.8/10 shes cunty and she speaks korean and those are the only two things i remember about her

miles straume - 9.9/10 im obsessed with miles straume

daniel faraday - 8.9/10 who the fuck is this victor frankenstein motherfucker i love him and his little tie

juliet burke - 9.25/10 oh juliet burke the freaky genius girl

sayid - 14/10, obsessed with specifically this grieving serial killer super agent sayid. can one of his wives live please

claire - 7.7/10, LOVED THE GOTH LOOK. also hey why was she in that cabin with her dad

rose - 6.5/10, diva

bernard - 7/10, obsessed with whatever hes got going on

nikki - 7/10, lowkey insane character used a spider on her boyfriend for diamonds and was buried alive

paolo - 7.2/10, because even though he lied she paralyzes him for it so maybe lying was the right call. also hes played by the hot guy in love actually so i love

michael - 6/10 constantly distressed and his ending ending was kind of rushed i prefer the randomness of the season 2 ending where michael and walt just float away

jin - 9.8/10 NOOOOOOOOOOOO JIN JIN NOOOOOOOO

sun - 12/10 she's cunt dracula rn

alex - 8/10 aw man :(

christian shepherd - 30/10 what the sweet fuck is he doing now

vincent - ?/10 is he even alive where is he

tom friendly/beard man - 9/10 unironically. last time i saw him he was with that prostitute and honestly good for beard man. its pride month yall we can not sleep on the canon gays

richard alpert - 11/10 so ageless so odd

frank lepidus - 8/10 almost forgot about the self proclaimed greatest pilot

[kabobroaster]

Whatever the HSR devs are one that has them churning out these gay ass homosexual ass men needs to be fed to them in greater supply. They cannot make a man who isn’t fruity, like these motherfuckers are ranging from ‘that’s some heavy handed queer coding your doing their buckaroo’ all the way to them getting slurs yelled at them in the street.

Like you know Aventurine has said F*ggot.

Look at him with his cunty little gloves, one of his idols is literally him spraying himself using a FULL BOTTLE OF PERFUME, that is cunty.

Campo with his slutty little hip windows? Twirling thoughts knives? Okay fruit cake, what’s next are you gonna open a hair salon called Friend of Dorothy’s?

Phainon testing every part of Mydei’s body? You only test something that much if you are gonna ride in it or eat it and either way that is Booty Pirate Behavior!!!!

The only man who isn’t explicitly gay gay gay gay GAY is Welt he’s like your nice wise dad/young grandpa, but we have seen the Idol photos. We know what you are!!!!!

Boothill’s little lean back shot em up stance? GAY!

Argenti…………….Honestly he’s too gay to be gay he is beyond.

Jiaoqiu is a cunty little bitch. He is so shady, he is so good with the come backs. He might look like a young Fox twink but deep down he is a rotted old drag queen.

Then there are the guys who look like they would be the masc4masc gays but really they are more like dumb meatheads who never learned how to communicate. Mydei? Those titties! Sir who let you boob around so breastily? His super power is summoning crystals and he hates his dad.

Moze? Sir please spare some titty for the rest of us! His haircut is whack and he might try to kill his boss a bunch but like I can fix him!

Dr. Ratio? Oh no I dropped my soap I hope a big strong man doesn’t throw a piece of chalk at terminal velocity right into my rumpus while I pick it up! I would never miss his class and I would never pass it either.

[love-kurdt]

Swooping, Sloping, Cursive Letters: 6

word count: 604

warning: homophobia

PLEASE READ THIS IS ME TRYING FIRST, AS THIS STORY RELIES HEAVILY UPON THE CONTEXT OF TIMT

December 15, 1987

Dear Will,

I walked into my house after spending the night at your place, and the first thing my dad asked me was, “You and Jane get back together yet?” And I explained to him, once a-motherfucking-gain, that no, Jane and I are not getting back together, and that we mutually agreed that we’re better off as friends. Then he remarked something along the lines of why I’m always at the Byers-Hopper house, if not to see my Sweetie Pie, and I had to keep my composure for long enough to tell him, “I was hanging out with Will, dad.” 

He laughed in a way that was so mean, Will. It was cruel, mocking, and slightly angry. I ran upstairs and had to look at your art until I felt better. But his laugh was still there, in my head. It’s like he knows about me, even when I haven’t explicitly told him. And he never gives up an opportunity to ridicule me, regardless of if I’m rumored to be, or actually , gay.

It got worse over dinner, when my mom asked me about how my time at your house was. She phrased it as “How did last night go at Will’s?” Not Jane’s. That made me so fucking happy for some reason. My mom is so kind without even trying to be. I genuinely have no idea why she and my dad are still married– they’re, like, polar opposites, and not in the good way where opposites attract. But I told her we had a nice time, and she smiled, and told me she was glad before going back to her sweet potato casserole. I’ll bring some the next time we hang out, I know you love it.

Anyway, back to my dad. He snorted, as if spending time with my best friend was the funniest fucking thing to ever happen in the history of the Wheeler family. I wracked my brain to try and figure out what was such a huge joke to him, but he continued on, saying, “I swear, kid, it’s like he’s your little boyfriend or something.” Then I snapped. You won’t be proud of me for this, because I yelled and stuff, but I hope you’ll at least see me as brave after I tell you this.

I turned to my dad with a wild look in my eyes (probably), and said some shit like, “Yeah, me and my boyfriend, Will Byers, had such a great time last night! We stared longingly into each others’ eyes for hours , then we cuddled, then we kissed, and then we got each other off ! It was so hot, Dad. Truly. I wish you could’ve seen –”

But then my dad roared at me to go to my room, which shut me up, thankfully . I don’t know what would have happened if I let my mouth keep running. I most likely would've outed myself. I didn’t, though, so I decided to get out of there before my dad changed his mind. I ran up the stairs and locked my door and now I’m sitting here at my desk, writing this letter that you’ll never read. I know what I said was a lot. I mean, it was pretty vulgar. Plus, it's never actually happened, and it never will happen. So I'm sorry about that.

Bottom line, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come out to my parents. At least, not to my dad. He wouldn’t let me out of that conversation with my heart still beating.

Here’s to being in the closet for life, I guess.

Love,

Mike

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[sebthechosenone]

I’m trying I’m trying I’m trying-

BRO IF I HEAR ONE MORE MOTHERFUCKER TALK ABOUT ICE IN A GOOD WAY MY WHITE ASS IS GONNA BE ON DEATH ROW

THEY GONNA SEND ME BACK TO THE FUCKING NETHERWOLD AFTER IM DONE WITH THAT GUY!

not to make light cus it’s actually fucking sick I can’t believe people think it’s funny. I had girls crying in my science class last year cus their families had undocumented relatives. They were afraid they’d be classified with them and sent back. AND PEOPLE MADE FUN KF THEM FOR IT!

IF I COULD I WOULD KICK SOMEONES ASSNIM SO MAD!

life sucks rn. I just need to get that off my chest. I’m worried about my rights. I’m worried about their rights. I’m worried man.

I was having so much fun in Europe that I forgot to take my meds for two weeks and that second I get back here I get really depressed.

I’m in a depression rut so the comic might take a hiatus. Idk why I post it, I guess it’s a me thing. Glad some people like it lol.

Im working on the 30 follower thing. I hit 30 when I was in Munich and I was too busy doing fun little German things to do art. Then I went to Florence and Rome so I was busy.

im sorry guys I’m working on it

shit ab what I did in Europe under the cut:

(Edit: I know how many spelling mistakes there are, I’m sorry. I wrote this at like midnight, just back on my meds, so I was out of it. There’s too many for me to find and fix lol)

We spent two days in Paris. We went in this tour bus and saw all the cool stuff, and I had the best tomato and cheese sandwich ever. I recommend finding an authentic fruit market, it was so good.

Britain was interesting. We were at this air bnb and in literally ten minutes my dad was chilling with the Indian guys outside, smoking. That man can make friends anywhere in so jealous. That night a guy got hit by a homeless man on a bike on our street, saying, “FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR BIKE, FUCK YOHR MOM, FUCK YOU!” We asleep went to this pub, but we didn’t know it was fancy. We turned down this alley in our jeans and t shirts and saw a RANGE RIVER AND ROLES ROYCE. In front of the pub were a bunch of business people judging us. The beef Wellington was 10/10. We went to Stonehenge but it sucked, we got wet.

we went to Amsterdam for one day. I got SECOND HAND WEED SMOKE. Didn’t know Amsterdam did that. We saw art and stuff and talked to these two black guys from LA. They were awesome, I miss them. They thought we were European lol, apparently my family doesn’t look American.

Next was Munich! After a traumatizing night train full of sweaty, shirtless soccer fans, we got to this shady street, but the hotel was nice. I loved Germany. Ppl were nice. The damn PADS you buy were AMAZING Germany knows what they’re doing. The food is great. I saw Dachau and had an existential crisis revolving around my mortality. We saw the old town and this gay guy with sparkling silver hair and he was awesome. Then rome

took a cooking class. The lady made fun of American tiramisu, not that’s she’s wrong. She called me Cowboy. Haha. She was like for Adam Ramsey but Italian. Scary. She judged out pasta. It was the best pasta ever tho. We saw art bunch of stuff in Rome, then went to Florence.

Florence was relaxation. We saw art but mostly slept. We saw David. Really cool. His hands are big.

back to Paris. We slept for two days

I sat up straight for ten hours straight, not getting up, on the airplane.

I loved seeing the rich culture and diversity of these countries. They were so interesting, especially the food, art, architecture, cultures, and languages. I had a very good time. Thanks for reading this lol. It took a sharp turn but whtv

[afterthefuneral]

The Swan Song of a Dying Girl: The Strange Life and Times of Bellatrix Deetz

(working title)

So, I've been thinking. Quite a few people have requested a follow up of my epic Beetlejuice Beetlejuice fanficiton Cradle to Grave. I thought I ended things pretty nicely, but left a tiny bit of a cliffhanger. But I've been thinking for a few days and I kind of wanted to explore the character of their daughter Bellatrix Deetz. People liked her personality, the impish bundle of energy that's a carbon copy of her ghoulish father. I thought it would be fun to write about her growing up, the challenges she faces being so different, the relationships between her and her family, and the struggles her parents face raising her. I'm a little wary, because I know people don't go crazy about OC's. But I feel like I need to write this for myself, for my own enjoyment.

I'll write the first chapter or two soon and post to AO3 just to give people a taste.

Mostly, I have a lot of ideas of writing her as the most unruly teen imaginable. Who in a lot of ways acts worse than Beetlejuice. Giving her mother and father grey hairs. Here were some of my ideas:

Telling a frustrated principal “if you don’t like being a teacher I hear Walmart is hiring janitors.”

Giving a long highly detailed class presentation on how Ben Franklin was gay, and that his kite experiment was an accident and he was just soliciting gay sex. “My dad will seriously back me up on this.”

As a prank releasing pigs in the school with numbers spray painted on their backs 1, 2, 3, and 5. And the school spends all day trying to find 4.

When her school is seeking suggestions for a yearly fundraiser she submits “we should make a pubic hair quilt from stuff we find in the boys locker room and auction it off to the highest bidder.”

Modifying a go kart in shop class to be her friends new wheelchair and taking him out on the highway in it. He can’t use his legs for the pedals so she just gives him a broom he can use to operate it.

Buying a tattoo gun from Temu and giving her friend and her matching tattoos.

Sneaking into the afterlife when her family is asleep to be a little pest.

Roasting everyone around her and being a little motherfucker.

[undomesticated-animal]

This is gonna be one of those things where people get weird about the boundaries I choose to have with my parents, but I don't fucking care because I just found out that when my mom and dad were making me [I was a planned pregnancy and it took about a year to conceive] mom got invited to a fetish party and she was like "we're going" and my father says "we are?" And my mother says "yes, we're serving, I'm wearing that sky blue lace teddy you bought. Earn it." And my father went "yes maam 😍" and wore nothing but booty shorts to serve at the party, and apparently was *slightly* unnerved by how many of my mother's friends (gay men and bisexual women alike) were desperate to get his number, but did a lovely job following orders [this is unsurprising he's been in the military his entire adult life and will likely die still in uniform] and honestly????

I giggled and cackled so loud I spooked a deer. Good for mom. Good for dad! Good for these ridiculous motherfuckers who made me!! It's no fucking wonder I'm like this! I model so much of my masculinity on my uncle that I forget sometimes how visibly I am my father's child lmfao

[remythologise]

You win as always I just started watching IWTV hope it won’t disappoint but I trust you completely after Black Sails.

Do you have the list of the things you would force people to watch if you could?

This is such a delightful ask thank you so much!! I look forward to hearing your thoughts when you finish season 2!!!

It’s definitely a harder question because I do force people to watch it based on their tastes (i.e. I have forced my Tumblr besties to watch at least three different movies released in 2011 for gay subtext as the main recommendation factor but would not do this to my work colleagues)… HOWEVER!!! Based on broad factors of what I HAVE in the past forced my friends/loved ones to watch these are the winners…

ROMANCE/ROM-COM Crash Landing on You This is the best rom com ever made.* Nothing has ever brought my mom AND dad to laughter, tears, and had them BOTH proclaim ‘5 stars’. I cannot recommend this show strongly enough to anyone who has remotely liked a single rom com, ever.**

COMEDY Galavant Niche audience of people who love fantasy and musicals includes ME motherfucker!

Honourable mention: Deadloch, Utopia (AU), Derry Girls This is really just a series of non-American comedies I would recommend to people if they hadn’t seen it. Deadloch specifically I am SHOCKED and APPALLED more people on Tumblr are not on top of and AM continually threatening my friends with a gun to watch it, or else!!

HORROR Hannibal and IWTV Both absolutely all-time must watches but only for people that would be into that sort of thing (sickos with taste) and not look at me weirdly afterwards for recommending it.

CRIME/THRILLERS The Devil Judge and Beyond Evil Crazy how these two shows came out at like, the same time, were both so similar in terms of the Wildly Gay Subtextual Leads Dynamic and so good. And they (were) both on Netflix!! Beyond Evil is definitely more refined BUT The Devil Judge is also so good and wild and such camp fun… you couldn’t go wrong with either if you enjoy having a fun gay time, particularly not if you like shows just to the left of Hannibal/IWTV.

FANTASY  Word of Honour and The Untamed These are not all-timers because they are ‘objectively well-made’ they are all timers because I shake my friends by the shoulders and yell "I had the absolute most fun gay fantasy romance time watching them and you will too!"

HISTORICAL Spartacus and Black Sails Everyone talks about Black Sails on this website but not enough people talk about how Spartacus walked so Black Sails could run. Much more extreme R-rated and/or triggering content in Spartacus though so I do understand. Nevertheless something I do end up recommending to my male friends a lot (and they love it!!).

SCI-FI  Dark REALLY tough category and I didn’t love the ending of this show but decided to pick based on what I'd recommend to the most people on balance. Don't look up spoilers!

For All Mankind Ok I haven’t even finished season 3 of this show so I can’t properly endorse it in full confidence and I’m also biased because I’m currently watching it, but. I simply love to see the BSG showrunner do what he does best: make television. About People, Politics and Situations In Space!

Honourable mention: The OA, In the Flesh and Sense8 These are my ‘wish they weren’t cancelled’*** and I don’t know if I would inflict on people while incomplete. However I just think what they were aiming for was so so unique and good that maybe they’re worth watching anyway!! (***I know Sense8 had the consolation prize movie but it was so rushed and nothing that like. To Me. It doesn't count.)

ANIME Shin Sekai Yori This is definitely the all-time anime I recommend to absolutely everyone. Ignore the middling animation and don’t look up spoilers, the end has one of the most existential ‘reframes the narrative’ plot twists of all time.

Yuri on Ice Speaking of plot twists that reframe the narrative… YOI is an obvious answer but it’s also correct!!! IT WAS BORN TO MAKE HISTORY!!!

FILMS The Handmaiden Limiting myself to ONE film to keep things a little briefer (sorry about the long post!) it was still an easy choice and literally do force my friends to watch it the second I know they haven’t seen it. No spoilers but it’s the IWTV of cinema to me.

*When Harry Met Sally Is of course also the best rom com ever made for its medium and I would be remiss not to include that here as well!

[artfulacrostic]

2024 FIC RECS: DC

a few of my top/fave fics from this fandom that i read during 2024! ratings/ships are included but warnings are not, so please always read the fic warnings and tags before reading at your own risk.

link to all-fandom fic rec masterpost HERE

Spoiler Alert: It Gets Better by carolinaa

~41k. (COMPLETE)

Red Hood's been running Robin's Nest, a secret youth shelter in Gotham, since he came out of his murdery craze. He wants it to be a place to stay, no questions asked, with a hot meal provided if you stick around for breakfast. The kids of Gotham deserve that much.

Enter Stephanie, whose new name isn't the only secret she's keeping.

(or: how steph outsmarts her dad, makes gay friends, and gets the guy)

Rating: Teen & Up

Ships: Steph/Tim

~

Little Birds’ Wings by SpaceWall

~34k. (COMPLETE) 

Jason Todd returns to Gotham with a detailed plan for Batman, the Joker, and the new Robin he’s seen pictures of in the papers. There’s just one tiny problem with his plan: Batman is missing. Also the Joker is missing. And nobody has seen Robin in a while.

In unrelated news, there are two(?) teen vigilantes patrolling the streets of Gotham. Someone should probably do something about that.

--

Jason was going to find answers, and when he did, he was going to beat the shit out of someone. Who it was going to be depended on what the fuck, exactly, was going on.

Rating: Teen & Up

Ships: Gen. 

~

IRIS Log #1548 by deadchannelradio

~8k. (COMPLETE)

A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:

The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate. - (01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-

(01:25) Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-

(01:25) Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.

(01:25) Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-

(01:25) Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.

(01:25) Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.

Rating: Teen & Up

Ships: Gen.

~

equivalent exchange by scribblemetimbers

~73k. (COMPLETE)

And something exhausted and brittle in Tim just snaps. “Full disclosure: I don’t care what you think.” A thrill of fear shoots down his spine as he spits those words, but he pushes it down and steps forward, glaring. His heartbeat thunders in his ears. “Look, I’m here to make a deal and I am willing to pay. I want - ”

Between one blink and the next, a searingly hot palm presses against his chest. The demon is suddenly much, much closer. Her stare bores into him as she says, in perfect tandem with his own voice, “ - Jason Todd back from the dead."

-

Or, alternatively: Tim makes a deal. 

Rating: Teen & Up

Ships: Gen.