#my friend and me recommended doctor who to someone today and then suddenly realized we were only listing bad things as arguments lmao

[catofthebarricades]

why is recommending doctor who so difficult why do you always sound like you’re trash talking the show

[julemmaes]

Nesta comes home from the school run and finds Cassian asleep on the sofa with baby Andra asleep on his chest

So At Peace

Nessian modern au set in the The Seven Of Us universe (masterlist)

acotar next gen fan fiction

A/N: just fluff with some boobies jokes for my girls (Maizie, Sayo, Sim and Cass) cause they could sue me for emotional distress every day but they don’t and I call that friendship:)

Word count: 2,445

Nesta felt like she could close her eyes and never wake up again. Ezra and Cal were playing in the back seats of the car, screaming about fantastic animals and people with bat wings, fighting an evil king over some weird pan, but she wasn't paying that much attention.

It had only been two weeks since she had returned to work after Andra's birth, and although she no longer had any kind of physical pain that she could justify with her pregnancy, every now and then she felt as if her whole body was being crushed under a press, repeatedly, until not a single intact bone remained under her skin. And today had not been a light day.

Her boss had sent her so many manuscripts from authors who had explicitly asked for her, and she hadn't managed to finish a single one, when in normal circumstances - where she could sleep for more than four hours straight - she would have read at least two and started editing one.

But being a full-time mother of five young children and working in a publishing house was too much even for her sometimes.

She sighed with relief when she turned right and saw the house in that familiar light yellow. She couldn't wait to leave her two sons with the neighbour for a few hours and enjoy the evening with her husband and her little girl. She couldn't wait to lie down on the couch and sleep for a few minutes while she fed Andra and let Cassian take care of dinner.

The other two girls were at Gwyn's house, who, with all the recommendations and prodding Nesta had given her, had kicked her out of her house yelling not to come back until eleven the next morning. The new mother had stood motionless for a few seconds, blinking at the door they'd just slammed in her face, and then giggled when she'd heard Azriel ask his daughters and hers what they wanted to do first - whether to put on nail polish or play "assassins".

That game wasn't exactly the mothers' favourite, but whenever the three brothers got together on the weekends, all the families ended up picking up one of the fake guns that fired rubber bullets and it was war. Countless times one of the fathers or uncles had hit one of the children in the eye before Lucien hit Dara and Elain decided that if they wanted to continue playing that game, they would all have to wear goggles.

Now, at her front door, she waited for her sons to reach the one at Drakon's house, and as soon as the man waved at her and her children blew flying kisses as they entered the older couple's home, she flopped against the door, closing her eyes.

She sighed again, bringing a hand to her face.

Nesta was so tired that she was seriously considering breastfeeding Andra and then going straight to bed. Cassian would be more than capable of picking up Ezra and Cal later and putting the youngest to sleep. He didn't need her that night.

She slipped the keys into the lock and taking a deep breath entered the house, finding it strangely quiet. She immediately thought that her husband must have taken Andra out for some air because there was absolutely no way that the two of them were here and not singing or dancing together or playing with one of the billions of toys she was given by friends and family. She slipped off her shoes and jacket, setting her computer and bag down on the cabinet in the doorway and smiled.

Cassian had been so patient lately. Much more than usual.

The labour had been long and painful, the delivery excruciating, and Nesta had never been more scared than when the doctors had pulled Andra out and the baby hadn't cried. But they were all fine now. Both she and their last child were alive and breathing and Nesta couldn't have asked for more.

She walked into the living room dragging her feet on the floor, wanting only to lie down and sleep until she had to breastfeed. She groaned thinking she couldn't even take off her bra or she'd stain another shirt with milk, but stopped as soon as she could see over the couch back, in front of one of the scenes Nesta would never tire of.

Cassian's massive muscular body, sprawled out on the cushions taking up every inch of free space on the couch, was dressed in black sweatpants and a simple white shirt that left her husband's tattoos and thick arms on full view, just as big and wide as the little pink and purple bundle curled up on his chest.

A smile broke out on Nesta's lips as she brought a hand to her throat.

Andra's legs were folded under her and one of Cassian's hands against her tiny bottom held her in place while the other was resting gracefully on her back. Back that rose and fell slowly, in time with the rhythm of her father's breathing.

Cassian's hands covered the girl's body almost entirely and Nesta couldn't help but think how relaxed and protected Andra must be feeling, her face so calm and her features drooping as her eyelids flickered. She knew very well what it felt like to lie on the man's chest while he rubbed your back to put you to sleep. Nesta had had the best dreams on that chest.

They looked so at peace.

She shifted her gaze to Cassian's face and felt a completely different emotion take over, but no less important, no less intense. She walked over to them, crouching down beside the couch and getting down on her knees right in front of them.

His dark lashes grazed the skin on his cheekbones and for the millionth time she felt jealous of how thick and dusky they were. Elegant and beautiful. She laid her head on the armrest, careful not to touch his shoulder, and reached out a hand towards Cassian, moving his hair away from his face and brushing the crinkled skin between his eyebrows. His forehead relaxed and he let out a sigh in his sleep, pushing his head against that touch involuntarily.

Nesta smiled again, admiring the beauty in those features, the line of his nose, the contour of his eyes, that pronounced jawline, until her gaze ended on the full red lips of the man who was sleeping so blissfully that he hadn't even realized someone had entered the house.

Nesta's hand moved lower, cupping his cheek, and she moved her thumb to graze his lower lip. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to feel him close. She wanted to taste him.

His lips twitched, as if acknowledging her touch, but he did not wake. She held her breath, feeling the heat pool in her lower stomach, and withdrew her hand slowly. She couldn't think about those things now.

She was tired and Cassian was exhausted, she could tell by how deeply he was sleeping, and he wasn't going to let their first time since Andra's birth be on a night when neither of them would fully appreciate it.

After what had happened with Celia, after she had been pregnant so soon after Nora, they didn't fancy having another child in the immediate future, and Andra's birth had put a fear into her that she had never felt before with her previous children. That was why Cassian had limited himself to using his hands and mouth, why Nesta had done the same.

She shifted her gaze to Andra and her smile doubled. She reached out her hand towards her, but didn't even have time to brush her face when Cassian sprang to his seat, taking the girl with him and bumping into Nesta's arm. He was on his feet in a second as he clutched Andra, who had burst into tears from her sudden awakening, to his chest. The little girl's piercing scream made them both flinch, but they knew she had only been startled by the sudden movement.

When Cassian lowered his gaze to her, who sat with a furrowed brow and her arm still outstretched in the air, he let go of a breath, closing his eyes and moving his hands to settle Andra against him, "God, Nesta," he sighed, laying a hand on Andra's head and beginning to cradle her, then gave an amused dry chuckle, "you scared me."

Nesta pulled herself up in turn, smiling, "Sorry, not my intention."

"Maybe next time don't stand so close to my face," he laughed, his eyes full of sleep but still glowing. Andra screamed again, squirming in his arms, Cassian grimaced. "I thought you were a robber or something."

Nesta shook her head as she moved closer to the two and he took a step in turn, leaning in when they were close enough. He smiled at her, "Hello, sweetheart," he closed his eyes lowering himself more and leaving a light kiss on her lips. Andra moved so much that Nesta felt the little one's head slam against her chest and they broke away chuckling. "I think she's hungry," then he looked to the wall, squinting to read the time on the big clock there. He opened his eyes wide, "We slept for four hours," then looked at her, mouthing a what the fuck.

Nesta snickered, wrapping her hands around her little girl's delicate, slender torso and feeling a sudden surge of affection when finally Andra's clear, huge eyes - full of tears - looked up at her and the crying suddenly stopped. Nesta pushed her nose against the little one's, "Why hello, beautiful creature."

Andra cooed, bringing her small hands to Nesta's cheeks and slapping her gently. She brought her against her side and looked at Cassian, ready to ask him when and how much she'd eaten last time, but the look on his face stopped the words in her throat.

He was smiling weakly at her, the weariness now much clearer in the features around his eyes, his mouth, but he was smiling as if he had never seen anything more beautiful in the world, "This is my favourite time of the day." he whispered softly, bringing a hand to his daughter's head and leaning down to kiss her forehead.

Nesta didn't know if she could still blame the hormones for the strong emotion that hit her, but she knew she didn't want to cry and said the first thing that came to her mind, "Just because I take my bra off and you can see my boobs."

Cassian threw his head back and burst out laughing, startling the little one in her arms, but Nesta smiled at her, giving her kisses on the cheeks as she relaxed again.

"You're right," he breathed and one corner of his mouth curled, "and it's because I don't see them enough."

Nesta snorted through her nose, "What are you talking about?"

"It's true, I don't see them enough. I miss them." he pouted, pushing her back to the couch and heading for the door. He looked over her shoulder, "Shall I fetch your nursing pillow?"

"Yes, thank you." nodded Nesta sitting down with her legs crossed, "And you see them at least twice a day!" she shouted so he could hear her.

"Exactly! Not enough." he shouted back, eliciting a laugh from her.

He adjusted Andra so that she was lying on her lap and began to unbutton her blouse just as Cassian walked back into the living room. He smiled mischievously at her as she lifted Andra up and he adjusted the pillow around her hips.

He sat down next to her and stretched his legs out, putting his feet up on the coffee table as Nesta unhooked the cup of her bra and set aside the breast pad. Andra's head slammed so hard against her breast that Nesta grunted in pain and hissed as the baby began to pull almost fiercely.

"God Cass," she murmured, adjusting Andra's position better so she wouldn't choke, "You starved her." she turned to him with a worried look and furrowed brows.

Cassian looked just as concerned, "She didn't wake up and I didn't think she was hungry." he scratched his head as he turned on the television and turned the volume down to minimum so as not to disturb Andra. She was never going to fall asleep after all those hours of napping, but they could always try and by now it had become a habit to watch TV without volume.

"It's okay," she said, grunting at him when Andra clamped her gums around his nipple, "It's just that she's never been this... aggressive."

He shrugged, "Maybe she's teething?"

Nesta blinked, "When you ask these questions I wonder if you're really the father of four other children or if you've just been pretending to be here for the last ten years," she murmured, "She's three months old, honey, she can't be teething."

Cassian looked at her smiling, put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him, "Sorry, Miss baby teeth expert." then he looked at Andra and his gaze softened. He sighed and his chest vibrated against Nesta as he chuckled softly.

"What?"

"It's just that she's so beautiful," he whispered.

Nesta couldn't help herself, "Are you talking about my boob?"

Another hearty laugh, then Cassian turned to her again, looking into her eyes and placing a hand on her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb, "You're beautiful too."

"Thank you, you look pretty good too," she murmured to him, shifting her gaze to his lips. Lips that opened in a brilliant smile and closed on hers seconds later.

When they both had to pull away for air, Nesta was panting and Cassian looked more than satisfied to see that her cheeks were flushed. He left a quick kiss on her forehead and then the hand that was on her face slid down and perhaps Cassian didn't realise it, but he brushed her still covered breast with his fingertips and a jolt of excitement went through her entire body.

He placed his hand on hers, which was caressing little Andra's back in circular motions, and stayed there for the rest of the evening, until Nesta's belly began to grumble and he had to get up to cook dinner.

They put Andra to sleep immediately after eating and settled back on the couch, cuddling until sleep claimed them both as Nesta took the place that had been her daughter's until a few hours ago on his chest.

acotar tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)

@sjm-things @kris10maas @awesomelena555 @sannelovesreading @queenamydien29 @ireallyshouldsleeprn @messyhairday-me @ncssian @observationanxioustheorist @my-fan-side @booksstorm @maastrash @sayosdreams @thedarkdemigod @courtofjurdan @thewayshedreamed @ladywitchling @nahthanks @archeron-queen @sleeping-and-books @bri-loves-sunflowers @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @queenestarcheron @oop-theregoesgravity @perseusannabeth @simping4bookboisngrls @anne-reads @fantastypenguins @laylaameer01 @thalia-2-rose @darkshadowqueensrule @bookstantrash​

[torielectra83]

Garak and the Jack Pack

Want to thank

@volixia669

for giving me the idea and motivation; this is the first fic I've posted and finished in quite a while. Also gonna tag

@unicorn-and-bluebells

and

@tirlaeyn

since their DS9-related posts are what helped lead me to this (if there's a DS9-related Discord I should join, let me know); note that I'm not much of a shipper (and I'm ace), so I wasn't quite sure how to approach the Bashir/Garak relationship; I just left it in the background (and the lizard man t-shirt).

“Oh, Doctor. There you are, and I….see you’ve brought company!” As he could see, Dr. Bashir was heading for the Replimat for his typical luncheon with him, only four other people were crowded around him. A skinny man with a mustache, a stocky older man with a timid expression, a rather gregarious-looking woman, and another woman who looked rather distant. “Oh, hello Garak. I’d like to apologize for being a bit late.”

“Oh, don’t worry, given what I’m seeing it’s very much a valid excuse.” Garak had heard about the other genetically-engineered people who’d been sent to DS9 to meet Dr. Bashir, but he’d been busy with orders at his shop; he’d been thinking about hiring someone to help out, actually. “Well, that’s Jack, Patrick, Lauren and Sarina. This is my...friend Garak, he runs a tailoring shop here on the Promenade.” “Oh, hi there, Hi. Uh, I gotta go over to the replicator, I’m starving over here.” Jack promptly excused himself, while Lauren made her way to Garak next. “Well, hello, Mr. Garak.” She promptly began her flirtatious attitude. “If you’re trying to seduce me...it won’t work. I am sorry, but I do not generally do one night stands.” Surprised and somewhat disappointed, Lauren backed away.

Patrick then approached Garak. “Do you make clothes?” “Yes, I do.” Patrick then grinned eagerly. “Good, because the clothes the institute gives us are too...itchy and things like that. Do you have softer clothes?” “Well, I can certainly make some? I believe Dr. Bashir said you need “sensory-friendly” clothing?” Bashir nodded; the term was an old term from pre-warp Earth. “I’ll do it at no charge; anyone who’s a friend of Dr. Bashir is a friend of mine.” He sipped his Tarkalean tea as Jack argued with the replicator over not being able to make something, while Lauren used the other one to replicate a bowl of Vulcan plomeek soup.

“And… Sarina, is it? I’ve noticed you haven’t said anything yet.” Garak simply saw the young woman turn, before holding up a PADD, with words written on it -- “I can’t speak, If you want to have a conversation with me, use this.” She promptly set the PADD down and continued to watch Jack’s tussle with the computer. “Sarina’s unable to speak, I can explain the whole thing later Garak.” Julian felt the need to pre-emptlively apologize for their behavior. “Oh, you don’t need to. I’m seeing people with a lot of potential here.” Bashir nodded. “So do I. And not many others do. That’s why I brought them here. I want to try and help them.”

“They seem to be helping themselves.” As Garak watched, Jack had finally managed to get something from the replicator that agreed with his standards -- a ham sandwich with Bajoran mapa bread. “So, this is the irrefutable Elim Garak, huh?” Jack asked. “Yes, and I see my reputation precedes me.” Garak said politely. “That’s right. Former intelligence agent for the now-defunct Obsidian Order, exiled and now working as a tailor here on DS9.” He said hastily before ripping into his sandwich. Garak raised an eyebrow. “And how did you find that out?” He asked, a tone of interest in his voice. “Oh, you’d be surprised what you can dig up on the extranet. There’s all sorts of unsavory rumors about you, like you causing a Cardassian doctor to break down by staring at them for four hours straight.” He promptly chugged from his cup of targ milk, before continuing. “And that your father was the head of the Obsidian Order, Enabrian Tain, and he got wiped out by the Dominion when the Obsidian Order and Tal Shiar teamed up, yeah, but they didn’t know the second-in-command of the Tal Shiar was actually a Changeling leading them right into a trap!”

“I...think we will have to pick up this conversation sometime later, Doctor.” Garak was getting rather uncomfortable at all this private information being practically shouted in the Promenade. “Oh, and I’ll see what I can do about those new clothes you requested, Patrick.” As Garak walked back to his shop, getting his mind off old events, he began pondering about what to do in the present. My orders are backlogged. I simply need help. As he opened his shop doors to see the current state -- half-finished orders, bolts of fabric all over and supplies in crates he hadn’t unpacked. “I must find someone to help me. I would get Julian but he’s too busy with being in Starfleet.” Garak sighed, and began getting back to working on an order.

Some time later...

Having returned from the Defiant, Dr. Bashir went into Garak’s shop, expecting to see it as it had been for some time -- cluttered and filled with things Garak was working on. He instead found it a hive of activity. Customers were entering and exiting, some waiting for their orders, others were looking at holographic models of new clothes to order. Bashir looked around in confusion. “What the…'' Suddenly, a figure blocked by their holding of several bolts of fabric maneuvered into view. “Look out, everyone!” Bashir knew that voice. “Patrick?!” “Oh, hi, Dr. Bashir.” Patrick didn’t even turn back as he carried the bolts into the back of the shop. “Patrick, how did you get here?” Bashir followed him, and realized the entire “Jack Pack” (as someone, most likely Quark, had nicknamed them) was working there. Patrick set the bolts down for Jack, who proceeded to start measuring what exactly was needed for that order. Lauren was busy inputting data of some kind into a PADD, while Sarina was sewing an order up. “Ah, Doctor, good to see you’ve returned home safe and sound!” Garak greeted him cheerily from behind his desk.

“Garak, what is going on here? How did they…” “Well, Julian. I saw their potential and I needed help. And so far, they have been excelling at everything they’ve been doing. I haven’t been this efficient, ever!” Garak looked positively delighted at this. It was rare to see him like this, and Julian was a noted expert on Garak’s emotions. “But...what about the Institute? And Dr. Loews?” “Well, she needed a vacation, and my offer to give them steady employment was something she couldn’t pass up.”

“Oh, well then. But...how are you so busy now?” Julian wondered. “Well, their brightness led them to not only help clear my backorders, but also introduce whole new product lines based on pre-warp Earth stylings. I will admit I knew little about it, but they have brought in several new kinds of clothing. Like this ‘tee shirt’.” Garak promptly held one up, the front reading “WWCKD?” with a small line underneath reading “What Would Captain Kirk Do?” “They’ve come up with several of these things. Like this one for the USS Voyager.” The shirt had a fictional flyer on the front with a picture of Voyager, underneath a “Missing: Reward” banner as if it were a lost dog. “We’ve also re-created other Earth fashions, from “bell-bottoms” to “zoot suits”. I must admit, they make most current styles of clothing look downright boring!”

“Yeah, Dr. Bashir! Here’s one we made especially for you!” Jack promptly handed him a T-shirt and headed into the front of the shop. Julian simply looked at Garak with an expression of disbelief. “Garak, we caught them trying to pass on classified information to the Dominion, and now, they’re recommending I wear a t-shirt that says ‘If lost, return to lizard man for reward’!” He said angrily, shaking the shirt in his hand for added emphasis.

“Doctor...these people needed another chance. One that nobody else was willing to give them. And another thing...they are still very useful analysts. They can predict trends, root out information and generally think far ahead of the game. To be quite honest, they’re the best analysts I’ve ever seen. “ Garak admitted. “Yeah, where else can you get a nice new pair of pants and information of Dominion troop movements?” Lauren commented.

“So...you’re basically running your own intelligence service out of this shop.” Bashir muttered, running his hand through his hair. “Well, there has to be a third-party intel service somewhere. With the Obsidian Order gone, there’s a market for it; we used to take on clients for analysis as a method for extra revenue. Strictly off the books, of course. So that’s what I’m doing now.” Garak reasoned. “And we aren’t just doing war intelligence either; we’ve got multiple projects for the Ferengi Alliance, the First Federation and the Gorn Hegemony for analyzing things like market trends, population censuses and whatnot.” Patrick nodded. “Yeah, Grand Nagus Zek and Ishka appreciate it! We got in touch with them thanks to the Ferengi maintenance guy, oh, what was his name…”

“Rom, that’s him. Real friendly guy. Came up with the self-replicating mines around the wormhole and keeps the holosuites running, real good guy.” Jack said at his normal speedy pace, before returning to his fabric measuring. Sarina promptly passed a PADD to Bashir, with a message reading “This is the best we’ve been treated in years. We’re working for ourselves, we’re constantly kept active, and we’re being paid 5 strips of latinum an hour.”

“Anyway, I’ll see you later, Doctor. We’ve got a lot to do before closing time today. After that we can meet at Quark’s, perhaps? Jack came up with this astounding holo-program based on another pre-warp Earth cultural thing, a “game show” called...Wipeout, yes. It involved picking the right answers and avoiding the wrong ones, it’s fascinating. But we have work to do and I’m sure you have work in the infirmary.”

Garak promptly ushered Dr. Bashir out of the store and back onto the Promenade. “...what just happened?”

[cocobutnochanel]

A Dream Too

Genre: angst, drama, romance, flashbacks, exboyfriend!Baekhyun

Main Characters: Byun Baekhyun x Reader (oc: female)

Warnings: profanity, mature themes

Summary: Love or career, people always ask. When your ‘successful’ self crosses paths with the love of your life again, you’ll see another woman live your ‘dream’. 

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

'How do you truly move on?'

You ask yourself for the nth time today while waiting for the 20 minutes to pass you by so you can finally go home. Back to that thought, it was really confusing for you. You had no idea if you had moved on or just forgot. Or maybe, those wounds were just buried and no longer to be seen but nonetheless, still there.

"How do you move on?" You ask Dr. Kim who just entered your office, his tiny head peeping from the door's tiny crack. "Before you drift to your throughts again, you have a patient waiting. Your shift ain't over yet." Minseok, your friend since college and now colleague, calls the patient inside.

You sit straighter and clear your throat. A woman your age walks in with a three year old girl in hand.

You smile brightly at the child and her mom. "Hi, doc." The familiar little girl in pigtails waves shyly at you. "Hi, babe." She blushes at your usual nickname for her. This was the third time you have her over and you find her so adorable. She's so shy.

The woman your age hands you the file for them that was forwarded by the nurse. "Sorry to disturb you, doc. Areum is here to see you again." She laughs nervously as her child only bows in shyness. You put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. "Don't worry about it, ma'am. She's my favorite." You smile at the shy mother too. Probably where the little girl inherited it from.

Scanning the file, the child is said to have fevers. You remember too that three weeks ago, Areum came because of a fever. You take a thermometer to measure the child's temperature. "Kindly face the side, sweetie." You coo at her and she obliges in a second.

You sanitize the tympanic thermometer before putting it in her ear. While it hasn't come back with results, you ask her mother about how the child is. This happens so naturally. It was basically a routine. This was your dream.

"So since when did she have this fever?" You ask Areum's mom who was rubbing her child's back while you hold the thermometer in her ear. "Two days ago. Her immune system is really weak." She sighs sadly, looking at her kid with pitiful eyes.

You take out the beeping thermometer. Your eyes skim over Areum's temp, 39.2°. "How are you feeling then, Reummie?" You ask her while sanitizing the thermometer before putting it back.

You pick up the stethoscope around your neck. "Come here, babe." You say softly to Areum who willingly follows. You listen to her heartbeat and everything was pretty normal. The fever was the only thing bothering the child.

“Is there anything bothering you right now?” You frown a little at the little girl’s tiny grimace. 

"Headaches." She mutters under her breath. You nod at the kid's answer. "Do you have cough? Some other sickness?" You ask her again, a pen in hand to take note of what the child's answer could be.

She shakes her head at your question. "Just fever." Areum's mom smiled sadly when she answered.

"Since you've been getting on and off fevers ever since, we will just assume for now it's because of the weather. It’s been snowing hard, Areum needs to put more clothes on." You advice while jotting down the prescription for Areum after checking her heartbeat.

"Just take what I usually recommend. Also, her vitamins and diet should be more monitored, ma'am. Her water intake too." You say that without looking at her mom but you know she's nodding and listening.

Areum’s mom was exceptionally beautiful. She was an exact opposite of her but you admired her tremendously. You admired her strength and courage. It wasn’t easy to be a housewife and a very hands-on mom like her. God knows you would never do that for someone. 

Speaking of that, you never truly did. Your passion for medicine and science was always greater. Well, you thought so.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you sign at the bottom and hand the paper to Areum's mother. "If she still has fever until the end of the week, bring her back so we can run some tests on her." You say as she nods at everything you say. You hand her the prescription and she happily takes it.

"Thank you so much, doc." She smiles at you gratefully as she stands up. "Let me walk you out." You stand up yourself too and pick up your belongings that were prepared beforehand.

You hold Areum's hand as you three walk out of your office. Passing by the nurses' table, you log yourself out of your shift and finally proceed walking with Areum to the parking lot.

You see her reserved demeanor even grow when people and patients were around. She was an exact opposite of you, you think again. You were independent, confident and hungry for your career ambitions while she bowed a little too low. Women could be insanely different but still, her choice astounded you. It takes a lot of strength to be gentle, you ponder.

"Where are you going after, doc?" Areum's mom inquired when you entered the elevator for the basement parking, stopping you from getting lost further in your thoughts. "Just home." You press Basement 1 with your free hand as Areum held the other.

"There's a boyfriend waiting then?" She asks you with a shy smile, trying to make conversation. "I don't even have time for sleep. I can't imagine having one." You laugh at her question.

Wildly, you wonder back to your earlier thought. Maybe if I didn't become a doctor, I'd be a mother like her too. But I chose my dream.

You snap out of your thoughts and ask her back. "How about you, ma'am?" The elevator pinged and opened. "My husband's just picking us up to go home." She smiles with content as if her husband was everything. You kind of wished you had that too.

Well actually, you had it. But you lost it too.

Before you could part ways with the shy kid and her even shyer mother, a black sedan pulls up in front of you.

A familiar man in a suit gets out, a face you know too well. "Appa!" You smile at Areum who was now running to the dapper man. Despite being sick, Areum was still excited to see her dad. Areum's mom walks over to the driver too and you finally look up.

You lost your breath the moment you recognized his face. It was him. The reason why you had asked such questions to Minseok. His face alone brought you the memory.

(flashback)

You wanted to bang your head against the desk as you skim over the Macleod's Clinical Examination for the nth time today. Nothing was going your way today. Med school was stressing you out, giving you a maximum of 9-hour sleep a week.

You hear some noise from your living room. You decide to take a study break and finally head out of your study. You haven't seen your boyfriend for a week despite living in the same apartment.

Despite his schedule being loose as a freelancer, your med studies were enough to stop the two of you from seeing one another.

You turn the doorknob and see a surprising scene in front of you. "W-What is this?" Your voice broke at the sight of Baekhyun and his luggage. His eyes were red and framed with dark circles. He looked sad and tired.

"I'm moving out." He states the obvious, sitting down on the sofa with a troubled face. "Why?" Your voice cracked again as it sounded so much like desperation and shock.

"You don't even have time for me." He mutters softly, obviously trying to stay calm. You were shocked at what he said. He loved you the most, he supported you the most. How could he not understand that this was your dream? How could he not understand that this isn’t forever? How could he demand so fucking much?

You fall to your knees weakly as tears in your eyes threatened to spill. "It's not your fault. I'm not even forcing you to choose me, Y/N. B-But, I can't live like this. Not anymore." He huffs out as if it was a burden he had carried ever since.

"I know it's not my fault, Baek! Hell, you're making me feel bad for chasing my dream!" You cry in hopelessness. "I'm sorry." He whispers, meters away from you.

Tears have finally made way to your face as internal pain enveloped your being. "It's just that- I can't be with someone who doesn't have time." He tries to say it again as if it's gonna make things better.

"Is it really going to be worth it? Us breaking up over this?" You didn't want to beg but God knows you've spent half your life with this man, dreaming of spending the rest of it with him. Was he really not for you? 7 years just going down the drain because you didn't have enough time?

"Am I not enough, Baekhyun?" You ask once again when he falls silent, his face in his hands. "Am I not a reason enough for you to stay?" You were disgusted at how you were on your knees, begging a man to stay.

His face was filled with sorrow as his eyes avoid meeting yours. You suddenly remember that he was the same boy who loved you unconditionally with endless patience seven years ago.

"Byun Baekhyun, I have loved you ever since I saw you that day when you laughed out loud in front of the class while introducing yourself in fifth grade." You recall an image of the boy you have loved ever since. "Tell me, don't I love you enough?" Your lips were trembling.

"I'm sorry." Baek mutters again, making you cringe at his words. "Stop apologizing, for fuck's sake, Baekhyun! I’m asking you! Am I not fucking enough?" You explode in anger, tears and pain.

"Seven years..." You whisper to the air. It felt like it was just yesterday when you two were in high-school and in love. How did it end like this? How did it end just because of time. How could he not understand? "Don't you want me to reach my dreams?" You ask him again, tears streaming down your face.

He closes his eyes shut as tears started racing down his face too. It was at that moment you realized that you weren't the only one in pain. He was too.

Like how you are breaking right now, he had suffered in silence too. He saw how consumed you were, thinking he was no longer important in your life. He saw how this relationship made it hard for you to concentrate too. He saw how he slowly faded in your ‘dream’.

But still, it broke you knowing that you hurt him this bad. It broke you knowing that the pain was too much, he had to disappear.

Your world crumbled in front of you as he stood there in pain, determined to leave. He was your first love. He was your everything. How could something so beautiful end like this?

"I'm not forcing you to choose me, Y/N." He says painstakingly, sorrow and loneliness in his voice. The aching pain in his heart was now double as he sees you on your knees.

"Will you be happy?" You ask the love of your life as he held his things in his arms. He only nodded with gritted teeth, knowing it’d be hard for him too.

That was it. The sign you needed. You were gonna let him go. You loved him too much, you couldn't imagine letting him suffer even more. You would always wish for his happiness. So you take a deep breath and nod back at him too.

For the last time, he speaks to you. "I'm not forcing you to choose me because I'm holding you back. So reach your dreams, Y/N. Reach it without me, doc." He stands up and finally departing for good, leaving you broken and your questions unanswered.

Today's Byun Baekhyun looked no day older than he did the moment he left the apartment you two shared. The supposed life you two were going to have.

"This is Dr. Y/L/N, she's Areum's doctor." Areum's mom happily links his arm with Baekhyun, snapping you out of your momentary flashback. A soft 'oh' falls from his lips as a lump forms in your throat in silence.

You couldn't breathe. Your world stops like it just did six years ago while you were on your knees and on the floor of the same shared apartment. You weren't over him at all. Moving on meant completely being fine. But despite six years flying out the window since he left, he still had that effect on you. He still left you breathless like he did in fifth grade with his hearty laugh.

"You made it, doc." He gives you the same smile he had way back when he confessed that he had a crush on you in seventh grade. Your lungs constrict at the nickname and you couldn't say a word.

His eyes shone with adoration and love that was once for you. "Yeobo, do you know her? She's a very good doctor." Areum's mother cheered, her daughter nodding in agreement too.

You see him pick Areum up in his arms. Now, the little kid resembled him a lot. It made sense, you know. He was now with a girl who could only see him in the future. He was with a woman who loved him enough to give up on her career. How could you not notice?

"Appa, I'm hungry." Areum murmured against her father's shoulders. Baekhyun rubs his daughter’s back as Areum’s mom places a chaste kiss on her husband’s lips. Tears pooled in your eyes as a familiar pain spreads in your chest. 

"I-I better get going." You stammered, feeling abandoned all over again. You knew you were going to cry if you stayed one more second with them.

He had moved on. He had a family. While you, on the other hand, are still stuck over something that happened years ago.

"Do you know her? Is she okay?" You can hear Areum's mother pry to her husband once again. Husband, your heart ached at that thought.

Before you were out of earshot, you hear Baekhyun's answer to his wife's question that makes you want to run back home and cry. Everything finally made sense. You weren't happy despite reaching your dream. It wasn’t complete. You still pondered over moving on. You still wondered how he was. But right in this moment, you realize it.

"Just an old friend, yeobo." No, Baekhyun, you were my dream too.

[oneofyatosfollowers]

Happy Yato Day!

Fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13936397/1/The-Stray-Cowboy

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33158902

It was ironic that a little dusty down in the middle of nowhere would bear the name “Heaven,” especially since it’s been declining since her grandmother’s time. The town was built around a large natural spring that has been shrinking ever so slightly each year while the buildings only grew taller. Hiyori strolled down main street, her heels kicking up loose dirt which dusted the frills of her pink dress. Her father, the only doctor in town, had let her go for the day, giving her a break from replacing her run-away brother at the clinic. So, after visiting her friend, Ami, at the fabric store, and Yama out with the horses, Hiyori made her way to the saloon.

The building was two stories and housed a bar, a small stage, and tables with different games other cowboys could gamble on. Since this town held so much water and resources, it was a common place for vagabonds of all types to stop in and rest. The Inn was right next door, owned by the bar owner’s husband, it’s front often tied with horses. Hiyori’s eyes scanned the beasts for a familiar black mare with a short mane but was disappointed when she saw none. She entered The Lucky Lady, the batwing doors swinging behind her, eyes adjusting as she ignored the cat-calls.

“Hiyori!” The bartender called like they haven’t seen each other in years. The Lucky Lady, a spunky night-time-dancer named Kofuku, waved her friend over with a dirty cloth.

“Good afternoon, Kofuku,” Hiyori gave a short curtsy before taking a seat at the bar, “where’s Daikoku and Yukine?” She asked as her eyes scanned the bar, finally adjusted to the darker space.

“They’re tending to some of the horses behind the Inn. Yuki’s getting good at changing shoes you know,” Kofuku mused as she wiped down the bar, “although they’re not really who you’re looking for are they?” The comment shocked Hiyori out of her scanning. The teasing glimmer in the young woman’s eyes sparking a fire across Hiyori’s cheeks.

“Well! He did say he was coming back today and he’s supposed to be handling my job!” Hiyori sputtered. She crossed her arms with a huff and looked towards the door, waiting for the black silhouette of a certain hitman-turned-messenger-and-bounty-hunter. Unbeknownst to her parents, Hiyori had hired the man to find her missing brother. It felt off to put a secret bounty on her own brother, giving it to an enigma of a man recommended to her by Kofuku and Daikoku, but he’d stopped sending her letters almost a year ago and it had her worried.

“If there’s someone you want found, dead or alive, he’s your man,” The Inn owner had growled, “just don’t get too close.” The gruff man scoffed when his bubbly wife waved off his warning. Of course Hiyori was the strong, intelligent daughter of a doctor, who practiced cattle roping with her brother. She didn’t judge just based on one reputation, Hiyori had to see for herself. Especially with the reputation that particular cowboy had. No, if it weren’t for Yukine then Hiyori would have never hired him.

“Yukine!” Hiyori called when the boy in question walked in from the back. The young teen pulled off a black cutter that was too big for him, and revealed a puff of blonde hair. His hazel eyes popped up and he smiled at the sight of her.

“Hiyori!” He greeted, giving Daikoku the hammer and nails before heading to the bar. Yukine was one of the few people in this town Hiyori didn’t know since birth. Now, she didn’t know the whole story- the boy in question refusing to tell- but she did know the place he came from was not a very kind one. That, for one reason or another, the cowboy she hired to track her brother was the same one that saved Yukine from that place as a toddler. They traveled together since then, Yukine being dropped off at Kofuku’s place so the man could go on more dangerous jobs. Just like now. It was during those times, Hiyori had gotten to know the boy. Even early on, when Yukine would throw tantrums at being left behind or run away from strangers.

“He’s still not here yet?” Yukine sighed as he took a seat next to Hiyori. The boy gave a curtsey scan around the saloon, knowing the man’s figure too well to miss it.

“Sorry Yuki, he said more towards the sun down,” Kofuku reminded them of the last letter the messenger pigeon brought them. The blonde, becoming more and more like a teenager each day, scoffed and crossed his arms.

“Yeah, well, he better get here before Sheriff Bishamon gets back from her trip to the city. Otherwise he’ll just get chased out again.” Yukine soured at the thought, ready to hit the open road again. Hiyori knew a bit about how he felt. She’s felt the need to leave this dusty place, to hop on a horse and ride off into the sunset with nothing but your wit and a couple bullets at your side. But she could never do that to her parents, not like her brother did. Instead she lived through the stories Yukine brought back with him, after the cowboy in black strolled into Heaven like he owned it.

“How long is the sheriff gone for?” Hiyori asked. If the sheriff caught the man sneaking into town there would be a shotoff on sight.

“Oh who knows. I asked Uncle Ebi to keep her there for as long as possible so,” Kofuku shrugged, “I’m sure he’ll buy you two enough time to catch up.” The pink haired woman winked causing the two younger patrons to sputter with disgust.

“Don’t be gross! Hiyori could do so much better than that dusty rattlesnake!” Yukine hissed, insulting the one man he deemed as blood family. Still, the statement jolted something within Hiyori. A boxed up secret that’s been locked up tight since the man in question last rode out of town.

“Hey yeah! Our little Miss Hiyori still has a courtship with that gun dealer from the city,” Daikoku suddenly walked behind the bar, giving his wife a kiss on the head.

“Ukk! You mean Kouto? Hiyori, don’t tell me you’re still seeing that as-donkey,” Yukine quickly muffled his cursing, remembering he wasn’t out on the open road with a not-so-great role model. Daikoku raised a brow at the kid, muttering out a mental note to have a word with the kid’s kidnapper.

“I am not ‘seeing him,’ it is a one-sided courtship at best! One that I do not plan on pursuing,” Hiyori stood suddenly, face red enough to pass as sunburn, “so if you’ll excuse me. I’ll be back after dinner to see if-.” The young woman stopped short, half way from the bar to the door, when she realized the saloon had gone silent. Someone was approaching the planked doors, the sun casting a shadow across a smirk that could steal a golden fiddle from the devil. The room fell into hushed whispers as he pushed open the door and approached Hiyori with careless saunter. The various weapons and coins hidden among his long black coat clinked as his brown boots thudded against the squeaky floor. Since his hat was left in the care of a blonde boy, there was nothing obscuring his sharp gaze from meeting hers. The white ascot around his neck covered his grin to the others in the room, helping keep up with his dark and bloody reputation. If only they knew how sweet he really was.

“Hiyori,” his drawl was rough from breathing in nothing but hot desert dirt but she found his dust-smudged cheeks just as endearing. His blue eyes and smile didn’t waver from her, even as the men closest to him raised their hackles and fixed him with narrowed eyes. The cowboy stopped directly in front of her, much too close for an upper class employer and some hired vagabond. But despite the towns and names he’s buried six feet under, Hiyori met his eyes with a straight back and a confident smile.

“It’s nice to see you again, Yato.”

“A pleasure, Hiyori,” he chuckled. The two shared a moment for less than a second before a barstool behind Hiyori squeaked with movement.

“Finally! About time you got here!” Yukine said. Regardless, the kid was off his stool and across the floor in an instant, arms crossed and hat off, waiting for Yato to ruffle his hair. Which Yato did. Until he pulled the kid into a large hug, encasing the small boy in his leather coat with a happy laugh.

“There he is! My baby Yukine! Have you gotten smaller? Or bigger? Definitely bigger, look at those arms! Turnin into a big strong man now! Gone for a season and look at you! Did you keep my hat nice and safe like always?” Yato gushed.

“Blegh! You smell like horse shit and sweat! You disgusting loser! Get off me!” Yukine hollered, squirming out of Yato’s hold and shoving the man’s hat back in his arms. Yatolet the boy go, satisfied that the bar’s paterons went back to their drinking and card games. Hiyori could understand, having a cute child by his side made Yato look a little less like the hitman he once was. The boy stomped back to the bar, Yato smiling after him.

“Ya heading out?” Yato asked, placing his hat back at home on his head.

“Um nope! No,” Hiyori said. Yato’s smirk quirked back on and he nodded his head to the bar, pouting when Hiyori declined his offered arm.

“Oh Yatty! We missed you!” Kofukue leaned over the bar, her corset popping a string, as she pulled him into a hug.

“Hey Kofuku! Glad to be back,” Yato squeezed her, “thanks for watching the kid again.”

“Yeah, well, the kid’s welcome here anytime. You, on the other hand, got a long tab to pay.” Daikoku grumbled by the taps.

“It’d be easier if you just let me go with you,” Yukine said, haughtily. The kid watched the man that saved him take a heavy seat on the bar, removing his iconic twin shotguns from his shoulders and laying them on the wood. Hiyori took a seat on the other side of Yato, eyeing the long, silver double barrel guns. Her gaze tracing tiny flowers engraved on the metal. She knew without looking that the wooden butt of the guns had the names “Sekki” and “Setsu” carved into them when he was Yukine’s age. Of course, Daikoku’s rule about weapons on the bar went ignored as Yato gave Yukine a side eye from over his pint.

“Death Valley is called ‘the underworld’ for a reason, kiddo. It’s too risky for a youngin.” Yato said.

“I’m not a youngin! I’m fourteen!” Yukine spun on the stool, “and you were even younger when you started out.”

“Not by choice, Yukine.”

“Okay but I’m choosing to.” Yukine’s eyes narrowed even more when Yato just scoffed and took a large swig of cheap beer.

“Come on, Yato! You said it yourself, I’m turnin’ into a man now. I’ve been traveling with you for nearly a decade! I know how to shoot and lasso and care for horses and where to look for gold and know when it’s gonna rain! You taught me all of that and you always say when I’m older you would keep me with you all the time! On all your jobs, so why?” Yukine almost pleaded, frustrated. Hiyori bit her lip and looked from Yukine to Yato.

“Because I thought this one was going to be particularly dangerous. You know I don’t want you seeing that,” Yato finally said, setting his glass down with a clink, “besides, I was just going to poke around and gather information. If there was anything solid I’d come get you.”

“Is that right?” Yukine asked, unconvinced.

“‘Course. It’s not like you missed anything big. I just went around, did the normal askin, followed a couple hollow rumors, then came back. You would have been bored anyway. Why? You think I would lie about it?”

“Do I think you would? Yes. Cause you lie to make me feel better. You do it all the time.” There was a beat that no one commented on. Hiyori couldn’t bring herself to see Yato’s reaction to that attack on a very recent wound.

“Well that clearly isn't the case this time is it?” Yato said, then sighed and softened his tone, “there really was nothing Yukine but I just wanted to be sure. There’s no law in the underworld and I don’t want you anywhere near that place.” The man finally turned and fully faced the boy he claimed as his own. Yukine regarded Yato for a couple moments longer, just as water started to rise over his hazel irises. Suddenly and harshly, Yukine got off his seat.

“If you don’t trust me to have your back and you don’t want me around just say so. Stop coming back already.” Snarled Yukine. He left the saloon and Hiyori knew he would be heading to the Inn where one of the rooms was permanently his and Yato’s. Beside her, Yato chugged the rest of his beer then slammed it back on the counter with a sigh. Daikoku chided him and took it, wiping it clean with disdain.

“Don’t worry, Yatty. He’s at that age. Yuki didn’t mean it, he just missed you and rather go on your adventures than stay here,” Kofuku offered.

“That’s what he doesn’t get. They’re not adventures,” Yato scratched his neck, “I’m out of bullets.” The implication silenced the young women.

“Still, the boy’s right about one thing, he’s growin up. Can’t tell him what to do forever,” Daikoku eventually butted in, placing a new mug of beer in front of Yato.

“Watch me,” Yato pouted. That got a small giggle out of Hiyori which might have quirked the tip of Yato’s lip just a little. Kofuku and Daikoku hummed and shared a look. Eventually, Yato downed the rest of his drink before getting up.

“Hiiro is out back. Needs a bath,” Yato said.

“Pay for your beer.” Daikoku answered.

“Put it on my tab,” Yato knocked on the bar.

“Like hell-”

“Okie dokie, Yatty! See you at dinner!” Kofuku waved. Yato pointed at her with a finger gun, clicking as his thumb mimicked the hammer. He grabbed both gunstraps and lazily swung the weapons over one shoulder. Taking two steps, Yato looked over his shoulder, one blue eye meeting hers from under his hat.

“You comin?” Yato tilted his head. Despite the looks their friends gave her, a large smile grew on Hiyori’s face and she happily hopped off the stool.

“Yeah!” She followed the cowboy in grungy clothes out the bar and into the Inn. Since it was still late afternoon, the place was just about empty. The wooden rooms and wool sheets too hot on a summer day. Hiyori took a deep breath, feeling free from the stares of others in town with nothing to do but spread rumors. Still, she was very aware of the man standing behind her, always a bit too close, and she turned to face him. Hiyori would have to wait until later tonight to hear his tales. Yato was too good at telling stories and always insisted on drawing to go with it. Once Yukine finishes reading and goes to bed, Yato and the rest of the town congregate at The Lucky Lady for drinking, dancing, and music. It was then that Hiyori- and sometimes her teasing friends- would get Yato to herself.

“How are the folks?” Yato broke the silence.

“They’re okay. Since the water’s been going, my father’s been trying to find ways to give strong medicine that uses less water.”

“What a coincidence,” Yato hummed, “every lead I tried to follow on your brother ended up being about the water crisis.”

“You think he’s following the drought?” Hiyori asked, urgently.

“Couldn’t say. He’s never struck me as the heroic type, to go galavanting off and save the world; but it is suspicious. Unfortunately, once I got deep in the drought debacle his name would vanish,” Yato shrugged, “it’s all anyone’s talkin about.” At some point Yato’s shoulders slumped and Hiyori sighed. This was the fifth time Yato came back with dead ends. It wasn’t his fault. Not only was he right- in that her brother was known to ride by the seat of his pants- but the job required him to stay away for long periods of time. Tracking someone like that kept him away from Yukine and other people who missed him. Still, disappointment hung her head.

“I’m so sorry, Hiyori. I promise I’m going to keep looking.” Yato put a hand on her shoulder and Hiyori took it in both of hers.

“What about Yukine?”

“I don’t know. I’m gonna to take him this time around but- I just don’t know where this leads. And you know how he is. You’ve seen him loiter around the school house in the past. I just don’t think it’s good for him to be growin up on the run.” Yato mumbled. He twinded their fingers together and the box inside her jolted again, but settled when he did nothing more.

“Daikoku’s right, you know, every day it becomes more and more his decision.” Hiyori offered him a small smile. He blinked at her before the cocky smile Yato was known for grew across his lips. He brought their hands up and pressed a light kiss to the back of her glove.

“I’ve missed you, darlin’,” he said. The box inside her was getting harder to keep closed, memories of his previous visits flashing across Hiyori’s eyes. Really, she wondered if Daikoku knew she failed to heed his warning. It was no wonder people caught her staring at that horizon and sighing with longing.

“Yato,” Hiyori tried, pulling her hand slightly but not letting go. A look of hurt flashed across Yato’s face- so familiar to her own when she watched him leave and come back with new scars- and Hiyori almost wanted to hit him. But instead his eyes quickly darkened and he squeezed her hand.

“Don’t tell me you’re not a filly anymore? That gun smith with the cheap products gotcha or are your parents makin you drag your rope?”

“None of that!” Hiyori huffed. She took her hand back and turned around, arms crossed.

“Not that it has anything to do with anything! Since I hired you to find my brother while-”

“While you stay here and take his place and care for the family business and not go off with Kouto because that would be leaving ‘em behind,” Yato repeated, “come off it, Hiyori. Your parents are adults and you have your own life. Just admit you want to have your own adventure.”

“And where do you suppose I go? Just to wander around by myself? Or were you planning on taking me and not Yukine?” Hiyori whirled on him, tired of this do-si-do of a conversation.

“It’s too dangerous with me,” Yato said through grit teeth, hat tilted to cover his knitted brows.

“So what then? You’ll drop us off in random towns while you go back and forth?” Hiyori threw out without much of a bite. There was a moment of Yato staring at the floor and Hiyori rolled her eyes. Of course the fool of a man would think that was a good idea. She stepped back in front of him and reached under his hat to pinch his cheek.

“Ow!” Yato flinched away. He rubbed his cheek like some little kid who got a light smack and Hiyori snorted. How did she once fear him? His pout was back but not for long, blue eyes softening at her laughter.

“I just want you to be happy. You only get one life you know,” Yato said, hand dropping from his cheek.

“And I’ll decide what I want to do with it. Just like Yukine.” Hiyori’s reminder quieted the cowboy down.

“I just don’t want to drag him into another one of my mistakes. He deserves better.” Yato said. Hiyori frowned, reminded of Yukine’s earlier comment.

“He doesn’t blame you.” She offered. About ten years ago, when Yato traveled with a group of bandits who’s name struck fear into the hearts of all who heard it, they rode into Yukine’s place of birth. Hiyori had met Yukine, seeing Yato in passing now and again, she came to understand Yukine’s memory of that night was hazy at best. That was until a year ago, Yato first took off to find Hiyori’s brother, and the boy’s memories resurfaced. He confronted Yato, learning the fate of his birth town.

“I know he doesn’t blame me but you saw how he was. How he gets when I pull the trigger. I worry he’ll grow to resent me.” Yato sighed, “you know, I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was young and he was so tiny, the town was burnin down all around us, his loved ones were bloody behind ‘im. Just as I turned Hiiro around to run, he ran after me with his little arms up. I scooped Yukine up without thinkin and took off in the opposite direction of the group.

“I don’t know how but Hiiro and I managed to run for an entire night and I didn’t put him down for one second. It wasn’t until Hiiro finally bucked us off that I realized he hadn’t moved. I- haha- I actually thought he was dead and I had been carryin’ ‘round a corpse. But when I looked down, his head buried in my chest, he peaked up at me with big doe eyes. No tears, no fear. We passed out right there in the dirt. I thought he’d be okay but he didn’t speak at all. I was gonna drop him off at the next town but I just-. He wouldn’t talk- barely looked at me- but was stuck to my side like he was made of molasse or somethin’.” Yato was staring off into the distance, not realizing he was still talking. Hiyori watched and listened quietly, as she often did. Something must have happened in the underworld and she wanted to let him cope. Twelve people was twelve too many for a kind man like him.

“The little bastard grew on me. Starin at me while I babbled, sleepin on my tummy, clutchin my coat and tuggin to sit up front. Honestly, when I stretched, he stretched, I pissed, he pissed, I cleaned my guns, he’d use a stick, when I held onto the reins, he’d grabbed ‘em too,” Yato sighed again, voice wavering, “But he was so nervous around me, jumpy. Always looked at me to make sure he could move even an inch- wouldn’t even eat until I told him to. He deserved better. I figured Kofuku and Daikoku would want him to raise as their own. When I got here and I thought he was comfortable enough, I mounted to get ready to go but he came running out crying. Sobbing even. His arms up at me. That was- that was the first time I heard him speak. He said ‘don’t leave!’ And I just couldn’t. Sure I stayed for a year or so but I couldn’t keep out of work that long. And he used to be okay- happy even- when I’d give ‘im my ascot or hat to keep safe till I came back.” Yato’s eyes were covered but his lip trembled before he bit it, trying to control his breathing.

Yukine’s recent confrontation about that day- the accusations and disappointment Yukine regretted saying- scratched every wound of guilt Yato felt. It was hard to smile for a child that looked up to you while you blamed yourself for his circumstances. It was even harder to keep leaving. They did make up, as they always did, but it had been a painful experience that Yato still hasn’t forgiven himself for; no matter how much Yukine reassured him.

“Yukine remembers everything and still choose you. He looks up to you, Yato, and loves you just as much. Yukine’s not going to suddenly regret everything and leave,” Hiyori put a hand on his chest, “and neither will I.”

“I don’t know about the ‘look up to’ part but uh,” Yato swallowed thickly around a wobbling smile.

“It’s true, I can tell,” Hiyori leaned in to whisper, “you know he calls you his dad when he talks about you.”

“He does not!” Yato gasped.

“We promised not to say anything.”

“Uh-huh,” Yato looked down quickly then back, “and what do you call me when I’m gone.”

“Saddle Bum,” Hiyori stated.

“Yeah,” Yato sighed, “you got me there.” He huffed out a laugh which only got stronger the more they looked at each other.

“We should probably get Yukine,” Hiyori suggested.

“You’re right,” Yato said, “as usual. Bested again by Miss Iki. Just can’t argue with you, the lush oasis saving me from my weary travels.” They made their way up the stairs and down the hall of bedrooms.

“That’s right, you can’t. So stop trying.” Hiyor playfully huffed.

“Yes ma’am,” Yato swooned. Turns out Yukine wasn’t in their room and instead was around the back of the saloon to tend to Hiiro. By the time the two moseyed around the two buildings, Yukine had washed down the horse- the mare really loved water- and was cleaning her hooves. Hiiro was a short, exceedingly loyal, black horse who hated when her mane got too long and had the most fickle personality even with people she liked. Her ears twitched as her rider walked towards them, shifting back and forth, as Yukine leaned against her hindquarters and scrapped at her back hoof.

“You were right, you really do have the hang of that,” Yato whistled. Running his hand along her clean hair. She snapped at Yato but nickered when Hiyori patted her pink nose.

“She doesn't like it when you do it,” Yukine shot after a couple beats.

“Of course she does,” Yato said, skirting around the horse. Hiyori chose to stay by Hiiro’s front, watching Yukine give Yato a quick glare over his shoulder.

“So, when are you leaving?” Yukine growled. Hiyori tried not to suck in air too loudly as Yato’s wide eyes flickered to hers then back.

“N-not for a while. Gotta go over the clues and make a more solid plan,” Yato’s boot kicked the dirt, “I’m gonna need your help with that. Like always,” he tried. Yukine was not impressed, hardly sparing Yato a scoff.

“Why bother? It’s clear you don’t trust me to watch your back.” The blonde muttered. Finally, Yato’s hands fell out of his pockets and his attitude grew into something more serious.

“What gave you that idea?” Yato followed the kid around to the other hoof, brows knitted. This time, Yato was ignored and the cowboy tapped the kid with his boot.

“Yato,” Hiyori warned under her breath.

“Hey,” Yato tapped Yukine’s side again, “would I have given you twin pistols if I didn’t trust you with them behind my back?” The tip of his boot nudged one of the revolvers at Yukine’s hip, silver twins just like Yato’s, named “Blessed” and “Burial.” That got the teen to look up at Yato, frown still in place.

“No,” Yukine mumbled.

“And you know why? Cause you only give-”

“Cause you only give weapons to those who have your back and disarm those who don’t, I know,” Yukine parroted.

“I need to get more phrases,” Yato muttered as he scratched his head.

“But giving weapons is not the same! I want to be with you! I want to do all the same things you do, by your side! I mean I’m supposed to be your-!” Yukine bit his lip and quickly refocused on Hiiro’s hoove. Yato’s eye brows rose to his hat for a moment before a grim expression took root.

“I killed twelve people in the last four months,” Yato stated. There was a beat of silence as the wind pushed a tumbleweed across the ground. Yukine tried to hide the shock- the horror- that shot across his face, but Yato caught every inch of it.

“So what?” Yukine spat weakly, “you act like I’ve never seen someone die.”

“I don’t want you to see anymore.”

“Well that isn’t your choice is it? Or do you not want me to be like you that badly? I was there too, you know.” Yukine finally snapped, whipping around to glare at Yato. There were tears in his eyes, boiling with frustration, but no one commented on it. Yato couldn’t think of anything to say and Hiyori clenched Hiiro’s reins. The mare was getting restless with her rider’s change in attitude.

“I know you were there and I’m sorry,” Yato confessed, “I’m not anyone you should strive to be. You don’t have to be anything for me, you don’t owe me nutin.” He kicked at the ground again and Hiyori wanted to roll her eyes. Honestly, such a fool of a man.

“I know that,” Yukine muttered too, now just as embarrassed, “I’m not trying to owe you. I just think-” the boy’s face rose in temperature and neither man could look at each other or address their feelings. Eventually Yato let out a huge sigh mixed with a groan.

“Well, everyone’s telling me what a man you are now and that I gotta let you make your own decisions. Can’t keep you caged forever or that won’t protect you in the long run,” Yato finally relented.

“So I can come? With you?” Yukine sprang to his feet, “and you’ll stop dropping me off here? I can be with you for every job?” Fists balled Yukine stood on the tips of his matching boots to stare wide eyed at Yato. The man blinked again, something fragile crossing his eyes before he smiled.

“Suppose so. Unless you want to come back, which you can any time,” Yato said.

“Yes!” Yukine suddenly remembered he was supposed to be an adult and straightened out, “and you promise this time? No tricks? No lies? No gimmicks?” He pointed up at Yato who finally snorted out a laugh.

“Nothin of the sort, o partner o’ mine,” Yato held up a hand, “honest.”

“Both hands,” Yukine narrowed his eyes. With a scoff Yato held up both hands like he was at gunpoint.

“I swear it,” Yato vowed, “on my only son.”  Finally the dam broke and Yukine went back to his beaming smile.

“Yes!” Yukine pulled at his own ascot, “I won’t let you down! I promise!” The boy crouched to gather his materials only for Yato to crouch with him.

“I know you won’t, you’re my kid after all,” Yato took off his hat and put it on Yukine’s head, smushing it down with a laugh, “and I’m mighty proud of ya.” The two boys shared a laugh and Hiyori finally turned and gave them their space.

“But chu-know, we gotta get you your own hat. The tips of my ears are all crusty,” Yato gripped.

“Just get a different hat!”

“It’s my hat!”

“Then don’t leave for so long!”

“I don’t understand why you can’t just get your own hat.”

“I had one! Before you made me drop it in the river!”

“Oh I made you, yeah okay, and who made you that hat in the first place?”

“Well you should-” Yukine continued to argue, back with his old spunk. Hopefully they would get to spend some time together before she watched the two of them leave this place behind. That painful tug in her chest was getting harder to ignore.

Until a gunshot sounded across the desert and embedded itself in the dirt. Hiiro reared into the air, letting out a cry of alarm as Yato and Yukine readied their arms. Hiyori immediately ran to the back of the buildings and hid behind a small pile of crates. While shoot outs didn’t happen as often as they did in other towns, they were enough for her to know what to do. A tall figure stepped gracefully off of a blonde, raggedy stallion, high heel boots crusting the dirt beneath. Another couple figures in matching law uniforms dismounted but didn’t ready their weapons. Instead they eyed the standoff with wariness and annoyance. Hiyori sighed and stepped out from her hiding spot but stayed several feet away. Bent at Yato’s side, Yukine stood but kept one gun pointed, sharing a nod to the deputy sheriff across the way, who did the same. Meanwhile, Yato’s smile shifted to a dangerous grin which was replied with a snarl.

“Skank.” Yato greeted Sheriff Bishamon.

“Vermin.” The blonde growled in return. Deputy Kazuma tried to calm her, reminding her that Yato’s previous transgressions have been pardoned and he has yet to cause another. But his pleas went unheard. The two took slow steps forward, guns steadily aimed right between the eyes.

“You got nerve showin’ your face in my town,” Bishamon said.

“Why’s that? Don’t tell me it’s not big enough?” Yato joked. This didn’t go over well, the woman took a shot in front of Yato’s feet. The man yelled some sort of curse as he stumbled back, pushing Yukine behind him despite the kid’s protests. Yato’s gun remained pointed, trained by experience. Though the cowboy was clearly at a disadvantage, the sheriff having two bands of bullets criss-crossing over her chest.

“Come on, I’m just here for some good drinks, a fun time at Kofuku’s,” Yato said, “besides, shouldn’t you be on vacation? Aren’t you back a little early?” The man took another step. Hiyori’s fists tightened as she saw the hand signals Yato was giving Yukine from behind his back.

“That deviersion you had Miss Kofuku do? To have me run to her uncle while you tried to sneak around in my town? Not a chance.” Her eyes hardened but Deputy Kazuma already had a hand on her gun. It wasn’t until Yato’s eyes slid to meet Hiyori’s- the question clear in his expression- that the box from deep within shook and burst open. The confirmation she gave was with the tiniest of nods and their eye contact was over just as fast as it started. In an instant the situation changed; Yukine had mounted Hiiro who rose to her hindlegs with a loud cry and soon Yato was up too, shooting at the law’s horses to scare them. While Bishamon was distracted, Yato took the reins from Yukine and drove Hiiro towards the young lady.

“Wha-? What are you doing? You idiot!” Yukine was already turned around, guns pointed behind them, watching Yato’s back. The kid went ignored, Yato had his eyes trained on Hiyori’s, intense stare eclipsing his grin.

“Come on!” Yato held out his hand. Hiyori moved without another thought, grabbing his hand and letting herself be yanked on the thundering black stead. Her body fell roughly across the blackened cowboy.

“Wait!” Hiyori cried as they dashed around the corner and down the main road, “what about our-? My things?” Her concerns were covered by wisps of her hair and Hiyori had to brush them aside to see Yato throw his head back and laugh.

“Relax! We’re just taking a stroll until the armadillo-woman cools off,” Yato looked down at her and winked, “we haven’t danced at Kofuku’s yet right?”

“Gross! Stop being such a creepy old man! You’re lucky Daikoku even lets you back into that bar!” Yukine yelled at them. Yato’s laughter was contagious and soon it spread to Hiyori, the young woman clinging to the cowboy as he took her on an adventure.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 8

Releasing two chapters today in honour of my birthday! I am officially 23 years old. Oh my God, what the fuck? I feel ancient.

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: I started writing this for porn and now? Look at all this plot. Disgusting! Featuring: the Hulk, more Bruce fluff, and DISASTER PARENTS. It's gonna get worse before it gets better y'all.

My beta, @miscmarvelwritings is the Peter to my Tony. Love you 3000, baby.

The beeping startled me awake, the haze of my recent memory made me very unsettled. Last thing I remembered was laying down on the couch and Peter's admission - the little! Guy! Was! Spider-Man! Holy! Shit!

Beeping intensified and I heard grumbling and shuffling coming from the side of me. A warm sensation engulfed my right hand and I smiled. I'd recognize that hand anywhere. Bruce was in the room with me so I was definitely in a safe place.

Me eyelids parted meeting a set of oddly fluorescent green eyes. Holy fuck, that was no Bruce, it was... But how? His form was slouched in an uncomfortable position over the bed, crease marks on his face. It was Bruce's body, Bruce's face but who held control over it - he was no Bruce Banner.

"No worry, Princess is safe," The voice that left his mouth was much more primal, with an unmistakable growl underneath. He watched me, alert, scanning my face with unblinking eyes. "Bruce asleep now. I keep watch."

I swallowed the unease. "Hi, Hulk, and thank you," Squeezing his hand very, very gently. "Nice to meet you, by the way."

He grinned, all teeth and sharp canines. He looked like a wolf. The look was so out of place on usually gentle Bruce's face that I had to study it, had to memorize that stark difference between Banner and his alter ego. The smile faltered slightly as he closed his eyes. "Bruce waking up now. See you soon." And with that, his head fell onto his arm, dead weight and limp.

His hair was tousled, a curly mess, and he wore the same shirt I remembered him in. Upon closer inspection it still bore minor stains of what I assumed was my blood. It was probably the only time I would get to look at him, really look at Bruce without the fear of being caught, being weird or getting misinterpreted. He was really handsome, the five o'clock shadow silver on his usually neatly shaved chin, his jawline was firm and... He really was beautiful.

His eyes slowly blinked open, the usual colour brown. Noticing me awake, Bruce immediately perked up. "Morning. How do you feel?" He asked, voice croaky and sleep-drunk.

It sent shivers down my spine. "I'm good, nothing feels amiss besides the left part of my face. That's kind of puffy," I admitted, failing to describe the full-and-pulling sensation I was currently experiencing. "I met the Hulk. He was nice." I added as an afterthought. Thought he should know.

Bruce frowned. "He does that sometimes. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I think, I think I'd like to meet him properly one day," I admitted my biggest curiosity. After all, I've already met real aliens.

Bruce seemed speechless for a moment. "Are you sure?" He stuttered. "He's...a bit much," He parroted my previous comment about my house, much to my amusement. "You sure it's not the concussion talking?" Banner squinted at the monitor at my bedside, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm very sure," I squeezed the hand I was still holding in quiet affirmation. "Besides, he promised to see me soon."

"Oh did he," Bruce muttered darkly but I could see his face brighten nonetheless. "Right, so I'm going to call in Strange and we can see about unhooking you from all these things," Bruce gestured to the various wires and monitors.

True to his word, Strange waltzed in no more than ten minutes after Bruce called him. Seeing me, the usually stoic man began snickering, unsuccessfully attempting to hide his amusement by swirling his cape in an unnecessarily dramatic fashion. I was not impressed, Bruce was not impressed and neither was Tony who walked in shortly after all the wires were removed from my persona.

"So... Is someone going to tell me why is Dumbledore so joyful this fine morning?" I crossed my arms under my boobs.

"You don't remember?" Tony snorted at my negative head shake. "Before you passed out, you demanded cake and said Wizard here looks like Benedict Cumberbatch. To be fair, I see the resemblance, but you...." Tony paused to snicker multiple times. "You managed to butcher up the guy's name multiple times, I swear to Thor, what came out of your mouth was..." The engineer laughed, making a broad and vague gesture with his hands. "What did she say? Bubble-butt Orgy-pants?" He asked Bruce who was as unsuccessful at hiding his laughter as Strange himself. Even the wizard's cape was bouncing.

I wheezed, suddenly coming to a realization. It wasn't a concussion induced lucid dream, I had actually said that. "It's really bold of you to assume I can pronounce and remember his name while I'm sober," I said. "I just call him British-guy Funny-name." Tony cackled at that, giving me a hearty thumbs up and ungracefully plopping down at the foot of my hospital bed.

"How do you feel, Buttercup?" He was looking earnestly at me now, his sparkling brown eyes big and round and worried.

I had to distract myself to keep from literally face-planting into his lap then and there. "Good, actually." Tony nodded happily, and I raised my finger. "But for the record, Doctor Strange..." I addressed the man who turned to me expectantly. "Please don't get pissed off, I have a request..." He nodded warily. "Don't shave? I mean, now that I can clearly see the resemblance between him and you... Please don't shave off the beard or you'll look like an angry aardvark."

The men in the room gaped, most of all, Stephen - his face was somewhere between resigned suffering and surprised disbelief.

"Angry... Aardvark..." Tony fuckin' WHEEZED. "Fuck a duck..." The engineer clutched at his stomach in an obnoxious fit of laughter, Bruce was snorting too. "The fuck is an aardvark?" The lone word seemed to have a magical effect on Tony, increasing his laughter with every time he repeated it out loud.

"Duly noted," Stephen nodded with as much seriousness as he could before cracking a reluctant smile. "I see that the healing technology Tony developed has worked well, if judging only by your sense of humour returning. Good," With that, he waved his hands about and the puffy feeling from my face disappeared. "I took some liberties and added a healing spell with Loki's help." Seeing my raised eyebrow, he elaborated. "Loki was deeply touched by your kind gesture towards his teammate and offered his help. You should be good to resume your daily activities by nightfall although I recommend you take it easy. And call your mother, she stopped by and instructed me to request you communicate at the first comfortable opportunity."

The mild pity and disdain on Strange's face told me that he was the one who had actually spoken with her. She must've been especially icy and bitter considering I had interrupted her daily routine with getting punched in the face. How inconvenient.

With that, Stephen left me with a parting pat on the shoulder, taking Tony with him - the engineer managed to squeeze a whole hug out of me before being bodily (magically?) dragged behind Strange. I was really uncomfortable with all the attention I was receiving wearing only a thin hospital gown and I told Bruce exactly that - promptly, Natasha arrived with a bag I recognised as my own, an ostrich Birkin that held a cute, soft cashmere loungewear set, some basic toiletries along with a set of underwear and a pair of slippers.

Evidently, my mother packed this bag. Never in a thousand years I would wear a $1200 worth of leisure clothing at a hospital. Even Natasha whistled when I first examined the bag's contents.

"Yeah, yeah, my mother's a bit much," I said, immediately cringing at how obnoxious that sounded.

"No shit," Natasha rolled her eyes. Something told me she'd met her too.

"Wait 'til you see my dad," I replied in an identical tone, disappearing behind the door to the bathroom. It was all very luxurious, extra and overall very Stark. Friday's voice coming from the ceiling made it known that I was still in the tower, the AI informed me of the date, time, weather and the further instructions to follow Natasha after I was done freshening up.

Showers had never felt so good.

I was greeted by muted cheers and a hefty brunch on the common floor. Lots of hugs, too, even Loki paused his brooding to give me an awkward, albeit very genuine embrace. I whispered a thanks for the spell which made the moody god considerably less moody - in fact, he smiled like a child on Christmas Eve. Suddenly, I felt much less out of place with my disaster self.

The pleasant part was done and I geared up to call my own personal curse.

"Hello, mother, it's kind of you to pick up," I started the usual. I could literally feel the confusion and concern of the people in the room piercing my back. "Sorry for interrupting your meeting. Yes, I am quite well now. No, Josh can keep running your errands, I will stay at Mr. Stark's for the time being. Tomorrow morning, probably, don't wait up. I will, absolutely. Oh, is he? Wow, that's amazing. I'm so happy," I chirped. My face was one of the suffering kind. "Yes, dinner on Friday night. Okay-I mean, yes, I will ask. He's actually right next to me." I paused to turn around and look at Tony, mouthing 'she wants me to invite you for dinner'.

Tony's speed was breaking the laws of physics as he snatched the phone right out of my hand. "Hello, this is Tony Stark speaking. You know, maybe you should come over to Stark tower. Yes, the whole family. Thanks, bye." He promptly pressed the end call button right as mother had started her goodbye-have a nice day-live long and prosper speech. "How the fuck do you put up with that woman?" He started at me with a mix of concerned incredulousity.

"She's an acquired taste," I groaned. "You just wait. My dad. I..." I literally had no words to describe the upcoming disaster. Tony had no idea what he just had condemned all of the tower's inhabitants to. "Why am I like this? Why are they like this?" I raised my head up to the ceiling as if the AI living in it could give me all the solutions to my life's problems.

"Get some rest, Princess," Bruce was kind enough to spare me any more misery as his warm, broad hand steered me towards the elevator by the small of my back.

As he dutifully fluffed my pillows and handed me a glass of water and my smartphone, I unashamedly basked in the soft attention I was receiving from the older man. I still felt somewhat groggy; best case, I'll fall right asleep and if the dreamland avoids me, I would browse tik tok and Instagram until something else would strike my fancy. The gentle murmur of him describing the latest lab incident I missed out on and the hands combing softly through my hair were the best sleep aides I could have ever asked for.

Bruce is too precious for this world. Too pure.

Friday rolled in with the force of a pissed off rhinoceros. Dad had flown in on a Thursday afternoon, stopping by the house to drop off his suitcase and happily dangle the keys of a brand new Chevrolet Corvette in front of my face before briefly stopping to ruffle my hair, kiss mother on the cheek and drive off into the sunset to "catch up with people at the studio". Jetlag wasn't a word in that man's vocabulary, he probably snorted a line or three as soon as he stepped out of the airport.

I could carry my groceries in the bags under his eyes. He just waved off any of my attempts to get him some rest only showing mild interest when I spoke about my friendship with Tony Stark, absolutely disregarding the rest of the team sans Captain America and the billionaire himself.

I might as well have been in front of a trainwreck, watching it happen second by second. The moment all three of us stepped out of the elevator onto the tidied up common floor, I had the sudden realization of exactly how much we weren't a family.

We were the exact opposite of that.

My mother, tall and slim and perfectly posed in a sleek blue dress with diamonds glittering around her chin, neck and fingers, her obnoxious greed proudly on display. My father, in his early fifties, well-groomed and fit, in his tight designer pants and a plain white t-shirt under a stylish tweed blazer. He looked ridiculous. Only Tony could pull off something like that (I shuddered. Sigmund Freud sends his regards!). And me, little old me, in my $900 jeans, $1500 Gucci sneakers and a mesh crop top I got at Hot Topic. At least, amidst this mess, my eyeliner game was on point.

I smiled sardonically at Steve who came to greet us. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Captain Rogers," My father greeted him with his Hollywood smile.

"Steve," An equally fake and toothy grin came from the superhero as he gallantly greeted my mother and swept me into an unnecessarily tight hug.

Point one, my father smirked. Somewhere in the corner, Wanda made a gagging noise - quietly, of course, I only knew about it because she did her telepathic mumbo-jumbo to make me aware of her stance on this particular matter.

Point two, my mother loudly announced she was vegetarian while simultaneously praising the catering services that Tony used. Clint had enlisted Bucky and Thor to help him cook and now all three were smiling awkwardly as mother spoke about the "incredibly talented immigrant workers".

Point three, dad made it his JOB to brag about my skills and achievements as if he was the one encouraging me to pursue them. It was fair, I suppose, since he paid for it but alas, it sounded a lot less like he was a proud father and more of a "look at what my puppy can do". I had to tip my proverbial hat to Tony and Bruce there, they both began to describe our lab work in such unnecessary detail, using so many long words, even Loki began quietly chipping in with totally random, long, difficult words. Confusion was beginning to seep through the eternally cheerful facade that my dad wore.

Or maybe it was the coke and Adderall wearing off. Who knew.

"Peter?" Came the dreaded question from my mother. I shook my head in quiet despair as Peter visibly cringed at my mother's voice.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"That vile boy has been taken care of," I could absolutely see Natasha saying the same thing and the only difference laid in the fact that I knew my mother wouldn't actually kill a person. She would hire someone to do it for her. "It's really unfortunate my daughter got in the middle of that sort of situation."

Wow. My mother just called Peter a coward. Wow. Tony briefly went cross-eyed with anger.

"Baby, why you bein' so quiet?" Dad, the mitigator that he was, intervened before a real shit storm could start. Which meant, as usual, putting me on the spotlight. It was me between a rock and a hard place: nothing, and I repeat - nothing I ever did or have done was good enough for both of my parents at the same time.

"I'm fine, dad, just chillin'," I replied, pushing my food around on my plate. He hated it when I ate too much, which was really anything more than two glasses of water and a salad. Being around models on a strict avocado and coke diet really skewed his sense of normal.

"Nah, baby, you're brooding," His teasing tone could've fooled anybody. Just messing around with a teenager. "Come with me tonight, there's a party, Billie Eilish is going to be singing. Not my style but you like that weird goth shit, might cheer you up a lil'," Dad joked and everybody around the table smiled happily at last. Everyone except Tony that was - his press-tour smile was still glued to his face. I hated it. It was unnatural.

"No, dad, you go have your old people fun," I rolled my eyes.

"Jesus Christ," I heard mother mutter on my other side but she kept quiet beyond that.

"C'mon, don't be a spoilsport," Dad insisted.

"Actually, we have a project planned up in the lab..." Tony trailed off, attracting confused looks from his teammates and friends. Pete looked at me in pure envy.

"Alright, alright, dad, I'll go with you, jeez," I mumbled, flushing from the sheer amount of embarrassment flowing through me. Partying with your own father, how sad and pitiful is that?

"I'm very upset at you ditching me," Tony poked a fork in my direction but didn't press the matter further. I avoided the looks of my friend's friends. I avoided the hell out of Bruce who kept making his perfect, round puppy eyes and radiating so much kindness and support I nearly choked on my intermittent sips of water.

"Alright, we will be waiting downstairs with Josh, say your goodbyes," Mother announced as she subtly towed my father towards the elevator. He'd had a whiskey too much and felt particularly chatty much to Tony's displeasure. "Thank you again for your hospitality."

As soon as the doors closed behind my parents, the group of superheroes erupted into a confused debate. I saw Tony blankly staring at the ceiling. Bucky cursing. Thor overly calmly talking with Loki.

Beyond caring about anything, my face flamed as I made a beeline for my dad's latest, untouched glass of whiskey (single malt, neat, double) and downed it in one go. The conversation stopped promptly, people eyeing me with visible concern. Steve was outraged.

"No," I announced, stopping any and all questions, slamming the glass on the table and departing towards the elevator that had made its way back upstairs. "Just no." Were my parting words as the doors closed once again on a startled and disgruntled group of superheroes.

Please check your blog settings before requesting to be added to the taglist. I can't tag some of y'all.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @as-i-layhereinyourbed @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01

[callboxkat]

Those Long, Lonely Nights (part 5/6)

Author’s note: This is a retelling of the story These Deep Dark Woods, but from Roman’s perspective. I recommend reading that story first, but this can also stand alone.

Summary: Roman, a knight, insists on accompanying his best friend Logan, a potion maker, when he decides to head into the notoriously dangerous woods bordering their home to find some rare herbs and minerals for his apothecary. They find much more than they bargained for when they encounter Remus, a bloodthirsty giant. Logince. Angst with a happy ending.

Fic Warnings:  food mention, blood, injuries, death mention, killing mention, gun mention, mild body horror (it’s Remus), disturbing imagery (it’s Remus), character death, temporary/believed character death, kidnapping, guilt, attempted self sacrifice, talk of giants, vampires and other monsters. Very unsympathetic villain Remus.

Word Count: 2329

Part 1 : Part 6 

Writing Masterpost!

...

Roman gasped and sat upright. Or at least, he tried to. Gentle but firm hands pushed him down as Roman realized he was moving, being carried on a stretcher. Blue sky shone above, rather than those endless trees.

“Sir Roman, it’s the guard, we’ve got you—“

“Logan,” Roman interrupted, “Where’s Logan; is he okay?”

“He’s here,” said a voice. Roman quickly tried again to sit up and turn to look, which... judging by how his stomach rolled and black rushed in from the edges of his vision, may have been a mistake.

…

He caught glimpses of blue sky and anonymous faces, snatches of conversation, but he couldn’t seem to properly hold on to reality until he realized he was being lowered onto a bed. Several sets of footsteps left the room, their owners murmuring quietly. A door shut. He opened his eyes.

“Please stay down,” said a voice. “You’ll be alright; you’re safe now. Just let me look you over.”

A woman stood at the bedside—a doctor, judging by her appearance. “Logan?” Roman asked.

Hands began gently examining him, feeling along his arms and legs. “He’s alive. They’re taking him for surgery. They’ll bring him here after.”

He’s alive.

“Surgery?”

“For his leg. They’re trying to save it.”

Roman swallowed. “Will he be okay?”

The doctor gave him a sympathetic look. “He’ll live. I saw his leg, though, and I won’t lie to you. If he does keep it, I’d be very surprised if he didn’t need a cane.”

Roman sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Oh.” Logan would not be happy about that. Even if a cane would make him look distinguished.

“For now, let’s focus on you. Does anything feel broken? What hurts? I see that bruise on your head, and your feet aren’t in great shape, either, but if there’s anything else. Like that blood on your side—is that yours?”

Roman swallowed, suddenly very aware of where his coat stuck to his side. He could still feel Logan’s head pressed there. “Ah... no. But I hurt my ribs,” he admitted.

“Okay. I’ll look at those after we get this head wound sorted.”

She reached up, and Roman belatedly noticed the ice pack that had been placed on his head as she took it away. “It looks like the swelling’s already gone down. Can you tell me your name?”

“Roman. Uh, Sir Roman.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sir Roman. My name is Valerie. And what day is today?”

Roman hesitated a little too long, but he was able to tell her.

“Okay. That’s good.” She held up one finger. “Follow this please?” She moved her finger from one side to the other, and Roman did his best to follow it. He had a feeling he didn’t do a great job, based on her expression.

In the end, Valerie told him he had a minor concussion, two likely cracked ribs, some bad cuts on his feet that had to be cleaned and in one case stitched, a badly sprained ankle, and a lot of bruising. She’d had to cut off the shirt of the uniform he’d been so proud of, but Roman found he didn’t care.

After Roman had been treated, some of the knights came in to find out what exactly had happened to him and Logan, and why they had gone so far into the woods alone in the first place. Roman had to admit that they were right, saying that he should have found more knights to accompany them once they had decided to go further from the settlement, or should have tried harder to stop Logan from going at all. Some of them seemed rather angry about it. Roman didn’t blame them.

It was late afternoon by the time they brought Logan back. When it became clear Roman had no intentions of staying horizontal, Valerie helped him to sit up against some pillows.

The people who brought Logan in carefully lay him on the second bed in the room. The apothecarist had been dressed in loose medical garb that didn’t suit him at all. His eyes were shut and shadowed, and his head and leg were thickly bandaged. He was still very pale. But his leg was still there, and Roman could see his chest gently rise and fall. The sight filled him with a dizzying relief.

One of the doctors, or nurses, or whoever they were who’d brought Logan back to him, stepped aside to quietly converse with Valerie.

Roman just watched the steady rhythm of Logan’s breathing, a part of him fearing it might stop if he looked away.

The other person stepped out, and Valerie turned to Logan, picking up a blanket and laying it over him. She left his injured leg exposed. After a glance in Roman’s direction, she also folded it down just enough that Roman could still see his chest move.

“How is he?” Roman asked, his eyes not leaving his friend.

“They saved his leg,” she replied, “though it’s almost certain he’ll need a cane. He also has a concussion.”

“But he’ll… you said he’ll live, right?”

Valerie gave him a reassuring look. “As long as nothing changes, he will.”

“When’ll he wake up?”

Valerie hummed. “He might wake up sometime tomorrow. They gave him a sedative for the surgery, and he needs time to rest and recover. He’s not in great shape.”

“…Okay.” ‘Might wake up tomorrow’ was certainly much better than ‘might wake up’. And they had saved his leg—also very good news. Logan would kill him if he found out someone had cut off his leg on Roman’s watch.

Logan still had his leg, and his life. At least Roman hadn’t entirely failed to protect him.

…

Logan slept through the entire next day. Roman also dozed for much of the time, admittedly exhausted and without much else to do. His day was broken up by small, plain meals, and when Valerie or one of the other doctors came to check on Logan and Roman. Each time, they’d look them over, give Logan and Roman some medicine, and if necessary, change their bandages. Roman was not a fan of the bitter taste of his painkillers, but they were better than putting up with the pain. It looked like Logan was receiving more medicines than Roman, which he supposed made sense. Roman didn’t ask what any of the potions were. Logan probably would have known.

Over the course of the day, Logan’s color seemed to improve, and Valerie seemed pleased by whatever she was looking for when she examined him. But, still, he stayed asleep. Roman was worried.

“He could wake up sometime tonight,” Valerie mused, her fingers pressed to Logan’s neck, “but I would not count on it.” She took her fingers away, then took a bottle from her coat and dabbed a liquid from within on Logan’s lips, letting a small amount trickle into his mouth. “He’ll likely be pretty out of it, if he does. Try not to overwhelm him. Just keep him calm, and call for a doctor if none of us is in the room.”

Roman wilted a little, but he nodded. He really, really wanted to talk to Logan—he needed to—but more than that, he needed Logan to be okay. And it wouldn’t exactly be worth it to talk to him if he wouldn’t remember it, or be present enough to really take part.

Roman was silent for a moment.

“When he’s well enough,” he asked hesitantly, “would you mind giving us a moment alone? I’d, um... really like to talk to him. Alone.” Sure, Valerie wasn’t always in this room, but she or another doctor seemed to always be just in the other room beyond, where Roman was sure they could hear anything said in this one.

Valerie looked confused for a moment, glancing between him and Logan, probably wondering what on earth he could want to speak about; but then realization flickered in her eyes. Roman felt mildly embarrassed, but Valerie just turned back to him and nodded, smiling kindly. “Of course. I’ll make sure you two get some time alone. But if anything seems wrong, you call me back right away. I’ll go far enough that you can talk in peace, but I will not leave the building.”

Roman did his best to pretend his face wasn’t flushed pink. “I will, I promise. Thank you.”

Valerie nodded, then went to change Logan’s bandages. Roman watched as she carefully unwound the gauze from Logan’s head, checked and cleaned the wound, and spread a salve over it before wrapping his head in fresh bandages. She then went to the foot of the bed and did the same for his leg. Roman didn’t watch that. He wasn’t squeamish; he was a knight, but... this was Logan. And he’d already seen what the giant had done to his leg.

“Will he be in much pain when he wakes?” Roman asked.

“We’ll give him a potion for that.” She glanced up at Roman, who continued to look away, since she wasn’t quite finished with Logan’s leg. “Don’t worry. He’ll be getting the good stuff.”

Roman chucked weakly.

Valerie finished tending to Logan, then turned to Roman, who was not exactly eager to have more of that salve put on his cut feet. It stung.

Finally, she was securing the last bandage in place.

“Okay, I’m just about finished here. Someone will be in in a couple of hours; but of course, if something happens, just call out. Do you need anything before I go? I could help you lay back down—might be more comfortable, for sleeping tonight.”

Roman glanced at Logan, who was still sleeping peacefully, then shook his head. “No, I’ll be fine like this. Thank you so much for all of your help.”

“It’s no problem. It’s my job.”

“Still. Thank you.”

Valerie nodded, gathered her things, and left.

Roman sighed, settled back against his pillows, and closed his eyes.

…

Even during the night, every hour or two, someone would come in to check on Roman and Logan. Roman was not exactly happy to have his sleep repeatedly disturbed. How was he supposed to get back to his normal, fabulous self if no one let him have his beauty sleep? But he was glad that they were keeping an eye on Logan, at least.

Then, there came one instance when he couldn’t have been less annoyed to be woken up.

He’d been dreaming, he thought, of shadowy forests and bloody faces and glowing, sickly green eyes, when a sound brought him back towards wakefulness. As Roman drifted out of sleep, he placed it as a quiet moan.

Roman frowned and opened his eyes, looking around. It was clearly still nighttime, and the room was dim, lit only by moonlight filtering through a thin white curtain over the window, and by a soft glow from under the door. Daybreak had to be an hour or two off, yet.

There was a shifting of fabric from his right, and suddenly Roman realized what—or rather, who—had woken him.

“Logan?” he asked softly, looking over at the other bed.

Logan’s head shifted, his eyelids fluttering, then opening halfway. He let out another, even softer groan.

Roman sat up straighter, trying not to wince as his ribs protested. “Logan,” he tried again. “You with me?”

After a pause, Logan’s eyes slid in his direction. Even in the dimness, Roman could see how drowsy he looked. His normally sharp blue eyes looked glazed. His eyebrows furrowed, and Roman realized he appeared to be growing more nervous and confused.

“Hey, it’s me, Roman. We’re home,” Roman whispered, hoping to reassure him. “They got us out. We’re okay. You’re in the hospital, but they’re going to have you all fixed up in no time.”

The words didn’t seem to register. Logan shifted again, looking agitated. He made a distressed sound.

Roman bit his lip. Time for plan B. He pushed aside his own blanket, and, taking a second to brace himself, pushed himself to his feet. He gritted his teeth, grimacing, then hobbled over to Logan’s bed.

The bed wasn’t very wide, but his favorite nerd was very skinny, so there was plenty of room for Roman to sit on the edge of the bed. He took Logan’s hand, hoping he wasn’t overstepping. The apothecarist usually wasn’t exactly cuddly.

“Hey,” Roman whispered, as Logan’s eyelids drooped, then opened again.

Logan mumbled something. Something about a potion? It didn’t make much sense. Maybe Logan thought he was at his apothecary, or that they were still out in the woods, gathering supplies. Valerie had said he’d be out of it.

Roman hesitated, nodded to himself, then carefully swung up one of his legs onto the bed, the one whose ankle was sprained. There wasn’t enough room for him to fully lay on the bed, but this was more comfortable.

He rubbed his thumb across the back of Logan’s hand in small circles, still nervous about whether Logan would be okay with this, but the injured apothecarist seemed to relax as Roman continued the gentle, repetitive motion. Roman’s heart swelled, and he swallowed against a sudden lump in his throat.

He’d nearly lost this. For a while there, he had thought he had. Even if Roman himself had somehow managed to escape, he would have never had the chance to tell Logan how he really felt. It would have been too late. Logan could have been gone forever, and Roman would have never known if things could be different.

“Roman?” came a weak, wavering voice.

“Yeah, buddy, it’s me. We’re in the hospital.”

Three seconds of silence passed. Roman thought perhaps Logan had fallen back to sleep, but then his hand twitched in Roman’s, like a weak attempt to squeeze it. “You okay?” he mumbled.

A tear leaked down Roman’s cheek. “Yeah, I’m okay. It’s okay. Just rest.”

[sir-subpar]

His Translator Part 6

      Ellie was the first to visit Henry when she had time. She couldn't stay long since she had to take charge of the clan while Henry recovered. Reginald visited here and there, occasionally with Right. Burt and Ellie visited the most often. As time went on, Henry began to recover from his bruises and concussion, finally being able to stay conscious for more than an hour. 

        The doctor entered Henry's hospital room.

"Good morning, Mr. Stickmin. You seem to be feeling well." Henry gave them a thumbs up. Sure he wasn't at 100% yet, but he was getting better. "I will be letting you out today but take it easy, alright? You're still haven't fully recovered, I wouldn't recommend going on heists or other missions in your condition. Understand?" Henry nodded

"I'd like to have someone escort you to your quarters, you'll need time to adjust to your new spine." Suddenly there was a gentle knock on the door before it opened, revealing Reginald and Right. "Hello, we're here to see Henry? Ellie couldn't make it today-Oh! Henry, you're already up."

Reginald happily noted, seeing Henry sitting up in his hospital bed. "Good timing you two, I was actually about to contact someone to help escort Mr.Stickmin to his residence. Are you willing to do so?" The doctor asked, gesturing towards Henry. 

"Oh! Yes, of course. We can do that." Reginald replied, Right hummed in agreement. "Excellent, just let me finish a few things here and you'll be free to go Mr. Stickmin." 

Henry smiled and gave them a thumbs up.

…

     Right wouldn't say he was particularly close to Henry. Sure, he didn't hate him like he used to, and they got along decently, but he wouldn't say the two of them were really friends. With all of that in mind, however, he really felt for Henry. Helping Henry to his room showed that he was still quite far from a full recovery. Despite Henry's attempts to smile and lighten the mood, his exhaustion and pain was clear. Henry trembled and stumbled quite a bit, it reminded Right of when he struggled with his cybernetic enhancements. What it was like trying to get used to not being able to feel some parts of his body while the rest of his body ached. Right knew how that felt all too well. There were a few times where Henry nearly collapsed, which led to Right and Reginald walking by both of Henry's sides so that they could catch him if he fell.

      When the three of them got to Henry's room, Henry immediately sat on the edge of his bed, huffing as he did so, Right leaned against the wall as Reginald stood next to him. "It's good to see you're doing better." Reginald commented, giving Henry a small smile. Henry returned the smile. Yes, he was tired and his painkillers for the day hadn't kicked in yet, but he was just happy to be out of the medical ward.

        Reginald walked towards Henry, taking a seat next to him. "Listen, Henry. I wanted to thank you for helping save me. I really appreciate it." Henry gave him a side hug, his usual friendly demeanor returning. Usually Reginald wasn't the biggest fan of Henry's random hugs, since they usually happen with little to no warning, but just this once… he returned the hug. It was nice to see him doing better. 

Reginald and Right continued to talk to Henry. Discussing various heists that they pulled, how Ellie was handling being the chief in Henry's place, how Burt and other Toppat members were doing, as well as various other things. 

"Glad things are good. Can't wait to work with everyone again." Henry wrasped, again struggling with his voice. Reginald and Right cringed slightly, Henry's voice sounded worse than usual. It sounded like he was in agony. "I'm calling Burt." Right declared, he was not having that.  "Thank you." Henry uttered, grateful that he could sign and avoid hurting his throat.

       Burt sat at his computer, finishing up some coordination work. It wasn't anything eventful to him. Suddenly, there was a voice speaking to him through his headphones. " 'Ello Burt. Got a moment? The chief needs 'is translator 'ere. We're in the chief's headquarters." 

Burt smiled slightly.

"Yeah, I'll be there." 

…

 

     Burt walked in, immediately noticing Henry on his bed, laying on his stomach. His new spine was exposed. Sure, Burt knew it was there, but it was the first time he had really seen it. Every time he visited Henry in the medical ward, Henry was laying on his back.

Burt waved, greeting Henry and the others. He moved to sit next to Henry, waiting for Henry to sign something.

'Thank you for coming Burt' 

"No problem boss" Burt could only imagine how difficult it would be for Henry to talk while he was in this condition.

The group talked for a while, eventually Reginald and Right took off, leaving Henry and Burt alone.

 Burt found himself glancing at Henry's back. It honestly hurt his heart to see Henry like this. Who did Henry piss off so much that they'd go so far? Burt could see Henry's various scars (wasn't hard considering Henry wasn't wearing a shirt at the moment), it was obvious that Henry had sustained a cruel beating before falling down that cliff. Why didn't the people at the wall just shoot him? They had the means to do so and it would've been easier for them. No, someone at the Wall had a score to settle. This was personal. Someone was definitely holding a grudge. Whoever it was wanted him to suffer. To Burt, it was kind of disturbing. Sure, the Toppats have killed people before, but at least they usually tried to make it quick. Even Right, as brutal as he was, usually acted swiftly (there were exceptions from time to time).

Henry eventually noticed Burt’s stares, to be honest, it wasn’t really bothering him. He had shown Burt some of his other scars, why stop now? Clearly he was adding this one to that long list of injuries. ‘You don’t have to keep glancing away Burt. If you want to look at my spine, just do so.’ Henry signed, snapping Burt out of his train of thought. “Sorry boss, could you sign that again?” Burt asked, thanks to him staring at other things, he didn’t see the full message Henry conveyed. ‘I just said I won’t mind if you want to check out my new spine. If you want to look at it, go ahead. You don’t have to feel bad or anything.’ Henry repeated, this time Burt caught it. “Well, if you’re okay with it.” Burt took a better look at it, examining the details. It protruded out of Henry’s skin, providing a huge contrast to his body. The skin around it was red and pink, it had clearly been cauterized, stitches definitely wouldn’t have been able to hold it all together. It reached all the way up to the back of his head. 

“Jeez, they really did replace the entire thing, didn’t they?” Burt remarked, not expecting much of a response. Henry raised his hands to sign. ‘They replaced my ribs too, actually. They said that my old ones wouldn’t be able to heal if they just attached them to my new spine.’ That definitely surprised Burt, but it did make sense. Why reattach something that’s bound to break when you can replace it with something more stable and spare yourself the trouble? “Good call.” Burt commented, Henry nodded, as much as his body was hurting at the moment, he knew it was worth it. Henry felt a sensation of relief being in the space station with Burt and the other Toppats. To be honest, he wasn’t sure he was going to make it out alive. He couldn’t remember everything that happened that day when they went to save Reginald, but the parts he did remember scared him. Henry shook his head, he didn’t want to think about that. He was there with Burt, he could focus on that instead. There were still things they didn’t know about each other, might as well learn more about him while they were both there. 

‘Burt, can I ask you something?’ Henry signed. “Sure boss, what’s up?” 'Why did you join the Toppats? I'm curious.' Henry queried, awaiting Burt's response. Burt stayed quiet for a bit, tugging at his shirt collar awkwardly. "I uh.. I'm not sure if I.. Really want to get into that right now. It's kinda personal." Henry gave a sympathetic smile, and pat Burt on the back. "Thanks boss." Burt appreciated his boss's kind nature. It took a while to get used to, but he welcomed it. Henry sat up next to Burt and gave him a quick, gentle, hug before he decided to lie back down. Yeah… Burt still needed more time to get used to Henry's random acts of affection. " Err, thanks, boss." Pink dusted Burt's cheeks, how many times was Henry going to make him blush like this? Why was Henry always so affectionate with him? Was this normal? Nah.. Nothing was normal when Henry was involved, but Burt still wondered about Henry's behavior. He turned towards Henry, tempted to talk about his thoughts when he realized… Henry was asleep. "Huh.. Guess you're really tired today, huh boss?" Burt whispered, not expecting Henry to respond. Burt grabbed a pillow and gently placed it under Henry's head doing his best not to wake him up. Burt then grabbed the blanket, carefully wrapping it around Henry. He lightly chuckled at the fact that Henry looked like a blanket burrito. Henry's soft snores were the only thing that could be heard in the room. Burt laid back on the bed, resting his hands under his head. He stared up at the ceiling, just enjoying the peace and quiet. Just.. Relaxing.. Listening to nothing but the sounds of Henry's snores and his own breathing. He realised how tired he felt. Maybe he could rest his eyes, just for a minute… Burt sighed, sleep taking over him.

To be continued...

[sunny-flower-girl-01]

Ohana- A Hawaii Five-0 Fanfic  Chapter Two

Enjoy! Please let me know what you guys think!

I am switching up the POV in this chapter and will probably continue like this. If you have a specific POV you'd like to hear from the characters, let me know.

~~~~~~~~~~~

At the Palace-

"You what!" Danny screeched as they exited the elevator. After they figured out that their "suspect" was going to be no help, they headed back to the office. Thank God everyone else was out of the office at the moment. The last thing Steve wanted to deal with is everyone else finding out about this before he had a chance to process it himself. He had spit it out to Danny on their elevator ride up to the office.

A baby. Steve was gonna have a baby. Well, Thea was going to have a baby. Steve's baby. He sighed and walked straight into his office, ignoring Danny as he continued to ask him to repeat what he just said.

"I'm sorry, you got who, what? You got a girl pregnant?" Danny followed him into the office quickly. Steve sighed again and sank down into his chair, head in my hands.

"What am I gonna do, Danny? I barely know this girl. We hooked up once when we met at the bar at Side Streets! Hell, I never even told her my name! She called me out of the blue yesterday and told me she had to see me in person. That it was urgent. It took me a minute to even realize who she was." He ranted, leaning back into the chair and stared up at the ceiling. Danny, for once, was silent. He looked like he was thinking which was never a good thing. After a moment he finally spoke up.

"What's her name?"

"Thea Kenwood. Why?" Steve asked. Without saying a word, he got up and left Steve sitting in the office alone. "Where are you going?" He called after him. Not a minute later he was back and tossed a file down on the desk. "What is this?"

He sat down in the chair in front of the desk again. "Theodora, also known as Thea, Kenwood. I knew she looked familiar when I saw her at Kamekona's. Grace is best friends with her sister, Nora. She's going to a sleepover there this weekend so I thought I'd look into who was going to have my kid overnight." He said, leaning back in his chair. He pointed to the file on the desk. "That, is a complete background check on the woman you've impregnated."

Steve stared at the file. Everything he wanted to suddenly know about this women was sitting right on his desk. He would know just about her entire life if he looked into it. Normally, Steve would have immediately done his own research about this woman. But something told him he shouldn't do it. He needed to respect her privacy more than that.

Ignoring his own thoughts, Steve looked up at Danny. "Did you read it?"

Danny nodded. "Yeah. Are you?"

Steve pulled the file over to him, staring at it for a moment. He looked up at Danny and shook his head. "Anything important I need to know?"

Danny leaned back and shrugged. "28. A counselor and board member down at the Hawaiian Youth Center. She has custody of her little sister Nora, the one that's best friends with Grace. Nothing really stands out. Just a hard working girl trying to raise a 7 year old. "

Steve nodded, rubbing his hand over his face while he swiveled slightly in his car. Steve spoke softly. "I'm gonna be a dad." He looked at Danny with glossy eyes. His eyes widened then snapped shut. "Oh god, I'm gonna be a dad!" Steve dropped his head onto his desk. Danny laughed and threw his head back.

"Oh boy, Super Seal having his first freak out. I love it." Danny chuckled, throwing his hands up.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

After Danny's laughter dies down, they sit in silence for several minutes.

"She gave me an out." Steve said softly. Danny's head shot up.

"You didn't take it did you?"

Steve shook his head. "No! No, I... He pulled the ultrasound out of his pocket and looked at it for a moment before handing it to Danny. "A small part of me wanted to, but she gave that to me. How can I not be a part of my own child's life? I can't just go on with my life everyday knowing that my kids out there and I wasn't a part of their life!" Steve ranted, talking with his hands like his partner does.

Danny looked up from the ultrasound. He was remembering how he felt seeing Grace for the first time on the monitor that day in the doctors office. "Wait, are you mad she gave you an out?"

Steve sighed as he leaned back and rubbed his eyes. "No. I mean, I don't know. How could she possibly think that I wouldn't be there? That's my child too."

Danny shook his head. "No, Steve. I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. I mean you said so yourself. You barely know the girl. That means she barely knows you too. How the hell was she supposed to know you wouldn't just say, 'Oh that really sucks for you but I don't want anything to do with you or the baby.'" He put the ultrasound back on the desk. "That freak out you just had a moment ago, I'm sure she's been having a similar one. She had nothing to tell her that you wouldn't just leave her and that kid out to dry." Danny sighed, leaning back to cross his legs. "Look, I know finding out you're gonna be a father is scary. I was terrified when Rachel and I found out we were gonna have Grace. Hell, she's seven years old and I'm still scared every day. But hey," Danny stood and reached across the desk to pull Steve to his feet and into a bro-hug. "You're not gonna be alone. You know we got your back no matter what."

Steve smiled and returned Danny's hug. "Thanks Danno."

Danny pulled away in time for Steve to see the eye roll at the nickname. "And whether she knows it or not, we've got Theas back. So anything you guys need, just let us know. Speaking of, are you gonna tell the cousins today or wait a bit?"

"I think I'm going to wait a bit. I at least want to have another chat with Thea and let this all sink in some more." Steve said. He pulled out the other piece of paper that Thea gave him with the ultrasound. "She has an appointment today that she invited me to. She said if I couldn't make it it wasn't a big deal. Id like to try and make it, but by the looks of this case I wont be able to." He sighed. He really wanted to be able to be there. He just hoped that Thea wouldn't like his not being there as a sign that he didn't want to be involved. That was a conversation that he was going to have to have with her. His job was dangerous and demanding.

"What time is the appointment? They usually aren't that long so I don't see why you couldn't go." Danny asked him.

Steve glanced at the slip of paper. "11. Its just 9:30. I don't know if Ill be able to make it. But I told her I would call her later even if I wasn't able to show up."

Danny shook his head, following Steve towards the office door after they saw Chin and Kono walk into the offices. "I swear, I'm going to get you to that appointment. Trust me, they're more important than you think."

"Hey boss, we think we have a new lead on our suspect." Chin said, going to work on the tech table to pull up some surveillance footage.

"Alright, what do we have?"

The doctors office-

Thea sighed, plopping the magazine down on the table in front of her chair in the waiting room. The wait was going on 30 minutes and the seated were extremely uncomfortable, even for non-pregnant women, Thea imagined. Finding a better doctors office was on her list of things to do today before she had to pick Nora up from school. Mindy was supposed to meet her after this for lunch so she could get her recommendations, but also so she could finally tell her who the father was. This was a conversation Thea was dying to have with her best friend.

She was also going to have to have a conversation with Rachel. Through the girls, the women have gotten pretty close. Rachel offered to help out with Nora whenever Thea needed help. Rachel told her that she remembered how exhausting it was to still work while pregnant and she couldn't imagine having to go through this alone, regardless of the father's help with the baby or not. She told Thea that everyone needs a support system and to not hesitate to call if she needed anything or just wanted to talk to someone who has been there.

Thea was thankful to have a wonderful support group. Between Mindy, Rachel, all her friends at work, and now from the sounds of it, Steve. She was finally starting to feel better about this pregnancy.

Thea smiled to herself and leaned back in the waiting room chair. Right as she was starting to get comfortable, her name was called. She made small talk with the nurse as they walked back to the exam room.

"So I hear were at 12 weeks already!" The nurse said excitingly. "Will the father be joining us today?" It was a routine question, her nurse last week had asked her the same thing.

"No, he's stuck at work. Its just me today." Thea said, smiling friendly at the nurse. It felt nice to be able to say that and actually mean it this time. She had used the same excuse on her visit a few weeks ago. She really hadn't expected Steve to come today but felt like she owed it to him to have the option.

"Aw, okay. Well, well make sure we get some good pictures of the little one for him to see." The nurse smiled and let Thea into the exam room. "Okay, if you'll just change into the top laid out on the table, then lay down, I will be right back to get started."

Thea nodded and waited for the nurse to leave before quickly changing into the paper like shirt. She groaned at how sensitive her boobs were rubbing against the thin fabric. She had already turned to wearing sports bras on most days since regular wired bras just weren't comfortable anymore. And she didn't see it getting any better for the rest of her pregnancy.

She hopped up on the table, trying her best not to mess up the paper that was laid across it. She leaned back and closed her eyes so she could try and get comfortable.

'Goddamn, the chairs and tables are made of bricks.' She thought to herself.

There was a knock on the door that startled her a little. "Uh, come in." Her eyes widened slightly when she saw Steve poke his head in the door.

"Is it okay that I come in?" He asked, opening the door up a little more to walk in.

Thea smiled softly at him. She hadn't expected him to show up today. "Yeah of course. I just didn't think you were going to be able to make it." She watched him walk in and close the door behind him. He walked over to the exam table and glanced down at her small bump that was much better to see in the top she was wearing now than the one she had on this morning.

"Yeah, I didn't think I was going to either. I have to get back to work after this, but I really wanted to be here so Danny and I made a pit stop." He said.

Before Thea could respond to him, there was another knock at the door and the nurse came into the room.

"Alrighty lets- Oh! Hello! You must be the father?" She smiled at Steve, a bit flirtier than Thea liked. She had no claim to Steve, so she didn't know why the nurse grinning at Steve like that irked her so much. They were going to be co-parents, that's it.

Steve politely smiled at the woman. "Uhm, yeah. Yeah I'm the father." He said, looking down at Thea, who was still looking at the nurse with a slight indifference. As a cop and SEAL, Steve picked up on it quickly, but Nurse Amanda, as the woman just introduced herself, didn't seem to notice the sudden change.

"Alrighty then, well, lets get started and see how your little one is doing." She pulled the monitor over to her. "Lift your shirt up to your chest," She motioned to Thea. "And I'm going to put some gel on. Fair warning its a little cold.

Thea pulled her shirt up to right under her boobs. She glanced up at Steve who was looking like a nervous wreck. Thea couldn't help but laugh a little bit.

"What?" Steve asked, his eyes meeting hers for the first time since he walked into the exam room. His green eyes met her amused ones.

"A Navy SEAL and a cop, and you look like you're about to faint." She giggled.

"I prefer the term, pass out, and no I'm not. I'm fine. Its just.." He trailed off, looking at the wand Nurse Amanda had in her hand. She pressed it to Theas abdomen gently and spread the blue gel around.

Thea took Steve's hand and squeezed it gently. This was her second ultrasound but she remembered how scared and nervous she was. "I know." She smiled softly. They both looked over at the nurse to see her turning the monitor around for them to see.

"Looks like the babies are doing great!" She exclaimed.

Theas head snapped away from the monitor and to the nurse. "The what?" Her eyes were wide. She was having one baby, not two.

"The babies. You're having twins!" She looked at the shocked faces of Steve and Thea. "Did you not know?"

"Does this look like the face of someone who knows she's having twins?!" Thea said loudly, causing Steve to snap out of the shock he was in. This morning he found out that he was about to be a father of a child. And now two. Theas hand was still in his, squeezing harder and harder.

"I'm not having twins. My last ultrasound showed ONE baby. ONE." She said.

The nurse moved the monitor over more so they could see. "One baby was probably well hidden behind the other, or was just not able to be seen on the screen. Lets see," She hit a few buttons on the screen then the sound of two rapid heartbeats came through the speakers. "There. There's the heart beats."

Thea opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Her eyes began to water up. Steve pulled one of the chairs over to sit next to her. His eyes never left the screen where he saw the two babies that Amanda had pointed out. He wrapped his other hand around his and Theas joined hands and lifted it to his lips, squeezing them gently. Thea squeezed back, looking over at him. She tried to hide the smile she had on her face but she couldn't.

"Twins would explain the all day morning sickness and the fainting spell you said you had earlier in your pregnancy. I'll take a couple pictures for you, then the doctor will be in."

Steve pulled their hands away. "Fainting spell?" He questioned Thea.

Thea used her other hand to wipe the few tears she had. "Uh, yeah. I was on my way up to my apartment one day with Mindy and I fainted outside my door. I thought it was just the heat and the long sleeved shirt I was wearing plus with how sick I had been feeling. After that Mindy kept asking if I was pregnant. A few days later I took a few tests. She looked at Steve. He had a look on his face, a worried look. It was only one time, I'm on my vitamins now and I'm careful about the heat." She gave his hand another squeeze.

Amanda said they would have the pictures for them at sign out and excused herself from the room.

Steve and Thea sat in silence, both thinking about what just happened.

~~~~~~~~~

After typing in this POV I'm not too sure how I like it, but I wanted to get this chapter out in time. I might come back and retype it later.

Please let me know what you guys think!! I really appreciate the feedback!

[iamtrebleclefstories]

Every Day I Love You More - Ch. 7

Chapter 7 - THE ANNOUCEMENT

After having drunk sex, Jo and Alex are having a baby. An actual baby. Here’s how everyone finds out

Sequel to I’m Happy Here with You 

Sometimes the perfect bubble bursts

Jo had finally done it. She’d made it to twelve weeks and the list of people who knew about her pregnancy was smaller than she’d anticipated, considering the way gossip spread around the hospital. Jo and Alex had an early morning OB appointment where they would be having the twelve-week ultrasound. After some discussion, the pair had decided that announcement featuring a copy of the ultrasound would be the best way to announce to the rest of their friends and coworkers the news of their impending parenthood.

 When she’d woken up that morning, Jo turned to see Alex staring at her with a giant grin on his face, “Good morning.”

 “Hey,” Jo yawned. “How long have you been staring at me? It’s kind of creepy.”

 “Not long. I just woke up a few minutes ago and I noticed something when I went to put my arm around you,” Alex picked up the covers to reveal to Jo’s small frame. He placed a hand on her abdomen. “Look. It’s super tiny, but it’s there.”

 Jo gasped as she looked down to see the smallest curve of her belly, “It’s a bump.”

 “It’s a bump,” Alex nodded happily. “Most people probably won’t even notice at all because it’s so small, but you’re starting to show.”

 “Holy crap, Alex we’re having a baby,” Jo exclaimed with wide eyes. “I mean, I already knew that, but it’s so much more real now. There’s a baby inside of me, right now.”

 “Yup,” Alex chuckled as he watched Jo go through the shock all over again. “I can’t wait to see our baby today.”

 “Me too,” Jo smiled. She really was excited to see the grainy image that they’d be going in for today. She’d only known about her pregnancy for about a month, but already she was overwhelmed with love for this baby. “I think I’m going to burst with the love I feel and it kind of terrifies me.”

 “Same here,” Alex’s face pulled up into a soft smile. “I love the two of you so much that I know I’d lose it if anything happened to either of you. For the first time in my life, I feel like everything makes sense and that’s thanks to you. You gave me something I didn’t even know I was missing. Thank you.”

 “You’re giving me something too,” Jo leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. “For the first time in my life, I have a family. I real family. That’s all I ever wanted.”

 They spent as long as they could in the bed together before getting up to prepare for their appointment. Thirty minutes and some great shower sex later, the two of them stumbled downstairs in a fit of giggles.

 Cristina—who’d been standing in the kitchen as she ate her bagel—wrinkled her face in disgust, “Blegh… You know you two could be a little quieter? I know that you’re all happy and lovey-dovey because there’s a baby on the way but come on. I could hear you all the way down here.”

 “Oh, you’re one to talk. I distinctly remember making animal noises at you from this very kitchen because you and Hunt couldn’t keep your hands off each other,” Jo teased. “Someone howled that night.”

 “Whatever,” Cristina scowled and took another bite into her bagel.

 “Dude, look at what came in this morning!” Alex brought Jo close and pulled her shirt taut against her body, highlighting the tiny curve of her stomach. His face broke out into a large grin. “Jo’s starting to show.”

 Cristina’s eyebrows shot up, “Wow, look at you, hairball. All cute and pregnant. I wouldn’t be surprised if your bump popped out for real sometime within the next couple weeks.”

 “Ugh, that means I’m going to be getting fat soon.”

 “Not fat, babe. Just growing a human,” Alex encouraged. “You’re going to look great.”

 “You guys have another appointment today, right?” Cristina asked.

 “Yeah, we’re going to ask for another ultrasound so that we can use the picture to announce the pregnancy since Jo is officially in her second trimester. That and way too many people already know so it’s best we just come out with it,” Alex shared.

 “Make sure you give Mer a copy. She’s gonna want to put it on the fridge,” Cristina reminded.

 “Already made a note to ask for three copies of the sonogram,” Jo said as she reached around Cristina to grab the cream cheese. “I think we’re gonna need more bagels. Some more cream cheese, too. The baby is constantly asking for bagels. Mac and cheese, too. Not the boxed kind though. The baby is in the mood for real, baked mac and cheese.”

 Cristina and Alex exchanged a look, both amused at Jo’s pregnancy cravings, “I can go get the bagels and cream cheese at the store after work today. But you do know that none of us really know how to cook right, babe?”

 “I’m sure Kepner would be willing to make the mac and cheese for you. She’s nice like that. Especially after she finds out you’re pregnant, that’s it,” Cristina made a motion with her hands. “You’re probably going to receive a different type of casserole every week because she knows that we don’t cook.”

 “She’ll look at us in horror when she realizes what we’ve been feeding you,” Alex joked.

 “You guys are laughing now, but you won’t be later when I’m eating the entire casserole by myself,” Jo took another bite of her bagel. “Baby and I don’t share food.”

 ———

 “Alright, so everything looks great. You are right on track for twelve weeks and seem to be doing very well,” Lucy smiled as she wiped the excess jelly off of Jo’s stomach. “I also see that you got a tiny bump. When did that show up?”

 “I noticed it this morning,” Alex grinned. “I woke up a couple minutes before she did and went to put my arm around her when I felt the little curve that wasn’t there before.”

 “That’s so exciting. I always love when parents get to see the bump for the first time. Suddenly, it’s all very real. Did you have a moment like that?” Lucy asked.

 “I did. This morning, actually,” Jo answered, looking a bit embarrassed.

 “You see? I know what I’m talking about,” Lucy pulled up the ultrasound photos and handled them over to Jo. “Alright, so I normally wouldn’t recommend this unless I thought something was wrong, but Jo, since we don’t have medical history, I was wondering if you’d like undergo a CVS to check for any genetic abnormalities. You’re right about the typical gestation for this procedure. If you don’t want to do that, then we can just go ahead with the typical NIPT blood screening test.”

 “I want the CVS,” Jo nodded. “It’s one thing for me to not know, but when in comes to this baby? The thought of not knowing scares the crap out of me.”

 “Okay, I can do it right now. I’ll be right back,” Lucy walked out of the room leaving the young couple to have the space for themselves.

 “Are you sure? You don’t have to do this,” Alex rubbed circles on the back of Jo’s hand.

 “Yeah, I am. Like I said, Alex. Me not knowing is one thing, but when it comes to our kids? I don’t want to not know,” Jo sighed.

 “Our kids? As in plural? You want to have more kids with me?” Alex paused to stare at Jo.

 “What did you think I’m gonna give birth to this maybe and be like, ‘thanks for being my baby daddy, but time to move on the the next one,’” Jo laughed. “Yes, I want to have kids with you. More than one. I see the way you are with me and our little bean, I see how you are with your patients, and it really makes me wanna have kids with you. Whether we stay together forever or not, you’re my best friend. I trust you more than anyone.”

 Alex felt his heart swell. He looked at Jo with the softest expression on his face, “I love you. I plan on being with you until you get sick of me. And if it’s what you want, we’ll have tons of kids.”

 “So many of them,” Jo grinned brightly. “The family we never had.”

 Alex leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead and placed his hand on her belly, “The family we never had.”

 Lucy—who’d heard the tail end of the couple’s conversation—smirked as she walked back into the room, “You know, it still freaks me out when I hear you talk like that. Wilson, you have done the one thing that women have tried and failed at doing for decades—taming Alex Karev.”

 “I think I’ll take that as a compliment.”

 Lucy proceeded to perform the procedure as quickly and carefully as possible, “Alright. You are all set. We should have the results in about a week. It’ll give us a thorough diagnostic so that we can know what we’re dealing with before the baby arrives. You’ll also get to find out the sex of the baby by then. I call you when they’re in and you can come down here to retrieve them. Until then, I’ll see you next week.”

 ———

 Jo and Alex were shaking with excitement as they walked down to the attendings lounge to reveal their news to those who hadn’t yet heard it. Alex had paged all his friends down there in hopes of only having to make the announcement twice, once for the attendings and once for the residents.

 When they entered the room, Jo and Alex made eye contact with an already present Meredith who came up and whispered quietly, “Today’s the day?”

 “Yup,” Jo let out a shaky breath. “And yes, I have your copy of the sonogram. It’s in my purse. I’ll give it to you before we leave.”

 Meredith let out a tiny squeal and hugged Jo briefly, “Thank you!” She let go and sat back down on the couch as the rest of the doctors piled into the room.

 “You know, Meredith being nice to me is really freaking me out,” Jo whispered to Alex.

 “Honestly, it kind of creeps me out too,” Alex snickered. “She’s never this nice to anyone. Not even Cristina or Derek. Maybe her kids, but—”

 He was interrupted by Jackson speaking, “Uh, Karev. Why did you page us all to the lounge?”

 Bailey looked at him strangely, “Is there a reason for all this?”

 “Yeah, I’m confused. Normally, I’m the one that pages everyone for meetings like this. And those meetings usually have to do with something I’ve been forced to clean up as chief,” Owen chuckled.

 “Oh God, don’t tell me you did something stupid. There’s only so much I can take from you,” Arizona eyes widened.

 “I promise I didn’t do anything stupid that you’re gonna be forced to clean up,” Alex waved his hands in mock surrender. “I actually did something pretty good this time.”

 “Well, what is it?” Webber looked at Alex expectantly.

 Jo and Alex looked at each other before glancing at the friends surrounding them. Some of them—Meredith, Cristina, Derek, and Callie—had sly expressions on their faces, while others—Arizona, April, Jackson, Bailey, Webber, and Owen—sported faced of confusion. Reaching into her purse for one of the ultrasound photos, Jo nodded at Alex.

 Alex took the small picture in his hand, covering it from view. He took a deep breath and turned the picture around, “Jo and I are having a baby.”

 The room erupted into a chorus of shouts, gasps, and laughter as everyone took in the news of the Karev child that would be on it’s way soon.

 “Oh my God!” Arizona gasped loudly. “No, you’re playing a trick on us. She’s not pregnant.”

 “Hand to God,” Jo replied, bright smile on her face.

 “Congratulations!” April laughed excitedly and gave Jo and Alex each a hug. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

 “Congrats, you two. You will make wonderful parents,” Owen gave them each a kind smile.

 “Alex Karev. A father. Well, I’ve heard it all,” Bailey chuckled. “This is great news.”

 “Thanks, Bailey,” Alex gave her a hug.

 “Your kid is gonna be so foul-mouthed and dirty and cute,” Arizona gushed with excitement.

 “You two, wasted no time whatsoever,” Jackson smirked and shook Alex’s hand. “Nice work man.”

 The doctors laughed at Jacksons comment. Arizona looked around the room and noticed that not everyone was as shocked as the rest of them were. She pointed to Meredith, Cristina, Callie, and Derek, “Wait. Why don’t they look surprised at this news?”

 “We all already knew,” Cristina responded nonchalantly. “I found the pregnancy test in the trash, Callie found out because of an x-ray incident, Alex let it slip to Derek, and Meredith found out because Derek thought she already knew.”

 “I can’t believe you told Callie and not me,” Arizona slapped Alex on the shoulder. “I thought we were friends.”

“Ow,” Alex rubbed his arm. “We are friends. Jo just wanted to wait until she was in her second trimester before we told anyone.”

 “Wait did you say her second trimester?” Richard wrinkled his brow. “I didn’t think you guys had been together that long.”

 “They haven’t,” Bailey narrowed her eyes. “Let me see that sonogram.” She took the picture from Alex’s hand and hummed. “That is a twelve-week ultrasound if I’ve ever seen one. Care to explain?”

 “Does it really matter?” Alex scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “All that matters is that we’re happy and in love and having a baby.”

 “What did you do?” Arizona looked back and forth between the couple.

 A couple snickers were heard from the ones already aware of what had occurred. They couldn’t wait until the rest of their coworkers discovered just how the baby had been conceived.

 Jo huffed a laugh, “You guys don’t really want to hear about our sex lives, now do you?”

 “Oh, come on Wilson. Just spit it out before I do,” Callie teased. “It’s a fantastic story.”

 “Well—we, uh… ha,” Jo struggled to get the news out. “We… accidently made a baby at Meredith’s birthday party before we ever got together.”

 “Now, this,” Bailey snorted in amusement and pointed at the pair. “This makes much more sense now.”

 The next few minutes were lighthearted as the couple found themselves the butt of a couple jokes. The sonogram got passed around the room until it found its way onto the lounge fridge, the words “Karev baby coming soon” sharpied on it.

 They got the same sorts of reactions from residents in the lounge. Stephanie—who had found out about Jo’s pregnancy days earlier was smug at the fact that she knew before the rest of the residents.

 “This is great you guys,” Ben congratulated the pair. “You are going to be wonderful parents.”

 “Thanks everyone,” Jo smiled, happy that the secret was out and that everyone seemed supportive.

 “Hey, so I’m gonna go and start rounding on patients,” Alex leaned over to give Jo a kiss. “You’re on my service, so change into your scrubs and meet me down in peds when you’re ready.”

 “Sounds good,” Jo replied.

 Jo put her belongings away in her locker and changed into her scrubs quickly. As she walked out the lounge, she reflected on the events that took place this morning. The day had only begun, but it was already probably one of the best days of her life. She felt like she was walking on air. The prospect of growing the little life inside her had Jo shaking with excitement, love, and expectancy as she made her ways down the hospital halls. It was as though nothing could bring her down from this high.

 “Hi, Brooke.”

 Jo felt her blood run cold. She knew that voice. She’d never forget that voice, no matter how much time had passed. Her husband’s voice was unmistakable.

 “Or should I say, Jo?” Paul sneered.

 And just like that, her perfect bubble had been shattered.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AHHHHHHH!! So... a lot happened in this chapter. Let me know what you think and what you hope to see next!

[twiceblackvelvet]

Dreams

pt. i. pt.ii. pt.iii. pt.iv.

April 15th, 2022. 13:42 AM. Los Angeles.

California sunshine, there’s nothing like it. Sure, it all beams down from the same star no matter where you are in the world. But there’s something different about the atmosphere. People don’t care here if you’re parading around in a cropped shirt that shows off more skin than you’d usually be comfortable with. They are too wrapped up in their own socially driven lives to bother you in passing unless they recognize you. Then it’s time to whip out the phone to selfie mode in hopes it gains them a few extra likes than usual. Wendy doesn’t mind, it’s only happened twice, but she’s accepted it as part of the package.

When people say Los Angeles is the city of dreams, they mean it. That’s mainly why she finds herself strolling down the busy street with boutique clothing stores galore and people riding around on skateboards, enjoying their lives however they wish to do so. The freedom to explore your dreams in the place that either makes you or breaks you being all too tempting. But, Wendy is determined to be one of the few souls that soar and reach the goal they set out to achieve when they arrived here, rather than let the city suck her dry and toss her aside as it has done to many others.

It’s been eight months since she packed up her things and moved here. Many of her friends back in Korea told her she’d regret it or that she’d be better off staying and never trying to break into the music scene in the US, but Wendy has always been a free spirit, unable to follow what could be the safe path and instead aiming for what she truly wants. That’s how she ended up in Red Velvet. She could have stayed in Canada all of those years ago, become a doctor or a lawyer, but she knew it wouldn’t have fulfilled her. 

Singing just comes naturally. Without music, she’d be a shell of a person and definitely not in the position she finds herself in today. 

After working non-stop for what feels like forever, sleeping in the studio rather than her fancy apartment she paid more for than she’d like to admit, and refusing to acknowledge the outside world, today is the day. Today, the world has been invited to listen to her first full album. Some last-minute changes to cater to Yeri suddenly backing out of appearing as a song-writer and producer were a little stressful to deal with,  but luckily her team eventually agreed to remove the song. Though, if you ask them, being subjected to the torture of a grumpy Wendy who they’d grown used to being bright and fun is something no one should have to deal with, ever.

Before every release with Red Velvet, all the girls would have their own individual ways of preparing for it and calming their nerves. However, being alone now means Wendy can no longer practice hers, which was to focus on everyone else to distract herself from her own thoughts. Thus, the impromptu walk through the blistering streets and people watching is the only thing that feels appropriate. It also stops her from worrying about no one buying it and her hard work going to waste. 

She misses four faces specifically whilst wandering. 

“Oh my god, Wendy?” A shrill voice yells from behind her but before she’s even turned a full 180 degrees, arms are around her neck and wrapping her up into a crushing hug. “It is you, it’s been so long!” 

Had it been anyone else or had she been unable to recognize the voice, it’s very possible that the random strangers passing by would have been instructed to call the police immediately. Thankfully, it’s not someone trying to attack her, well, unless you count affection as an attack, Wendy doesn’t. 

“Tiffany, hey! It’s been forever.” She chokes out, arms still around her throat, making it difficult to speak. 

No one bats an eyelid at the two girls admiring each other mere inches away from each other, though it feels like someone should be there to capture the moment, at least for fans to gush about. Wendy takes a moment to look at Tiffany. Her skin appears to be glowing more than the last time she’d caught up with her. She looks healthy… happy. It’s a breath of fresh air to see someone from her world here alongside her and not seemingly a broken shell of a person. 

“You look amazing, wow! What are you doing here?” Tiffany asks, her voice still far too loud for a conversation in the middle of a busy street, not that Wendy minds.

“I live here now.” She replies bluntly, though, her conscious reminds her for a split second that even though neither of them is in Korea anymore, Tiffany is still a senior to her. Her tone softens naturally before continuing. “I came here after… well, you know.” 

Tiffany nods in understanding, though her eyes show sadness for a split second. There’s no need for either of them to discuss the split of her group, Tiffany herself understands what it’s like to be apart from the very people you spent a huge portion of your life alongside.

“So, what are you up to?” The lack of words between them both makes Wendy blurt out, also, so Tiffany can stop looking at her so pitifully. “I’m on my way to grab a coffee if you want to join me? Catch-up?”

Though it was presented as a question and is a heat of the moment change of plans from what she was doing which was nothing, in particular, Wendy is grateful for this distraction that Tiffany has given her without knowing she has. 

In the blink of an eye, Tiffany has linked their arms together and is dragging her halfway down the street to what she assures her is by far the best place for something way better than coffee.

When they arrive outside of an organic pop-up store that only serves vegan food and uses all non-dairy products, Wendy isn’t surprised. She’s read reviews about this kind of place lately, though she’s never ventured to any of them, deciding that the hype about buckwheat tea and the likes can’t be real. However, she’s been roped into this now and has no choice but to try something once they reach the counter.

“I’ve never been here before, what do you recommend?” She aims toward Tiffany, however, it gains the attention of the young woman stood near the till waiting patiently to take their order.

“The watermelon lemonade is popular, miss.” The girl whose nametag reads Olivia responds. 

Her face is trying its best to put on a smile, though, Wendy summarizes quickly that Olivia does not have an accent that sounds like she’s from California originally, likely moved here to be an actress and just never received an opportunity to do so. Thus, she’s stuck putting on a different act, pretending to be enthusiastic about serving drinks to people that will “cleanse” them.  To put politely.

“I guess I’ll go for that then.” Both Wendy and Tiffany offer her a smile before she darts off to prepare their drinks.

Tiffany tries to pay. Wendy won’t let her. They both try their best to be stubborn about it, however, Wendy somehow wins this round and thanks the heavens that Olivia is a lot better at her job than she expected as no sooner does she leave to make their order, she returns with two recyclable cups in tow. They sit outside and drink what Wendy reluctantly admits is a delicious watermelon lemonade whilst getting re-acquainted with one another. 

Small talk is all that they engage in at first. Politely asking about each other’s families, if they’ve been up to anything special lately. Wendy doesn’t mention the album release, she’s not sure why. Tiffany tells her about how she will be on tour soon and how Wendy should come to one of her shows so they can sing together. Wendy agrees. The mood turns rather solemn when they reminisce on how young they both were when they first began their careers and everything they’ve been through in the music industry.

“Do you like it here?” Tiffany’s voice is soft and her face serious, something that Wendy is unsure she’s ever seen from her before.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s nothing like what I’m used to but that’s a good thing,” Wendy answers, surprised by her own honesty. “It’s nice to not feel judged and that it’s okay if I make a mistake. If I mess up something here, people don’t seem to mind so long as I’m willing to learn from it. It’s not like that… there.” Wendy wants to say home, but she’s not sure if she can call it home for either of them anymore.

“I know what you mean. There’s a lot more freedom out here.” 

A comfortable silence falls between them, both pondering all the times they’d gotten on the bad side of people for whatever reason, big or small. Both being grateful that they still made it here, whilst some others are less fortunate.

Tiffany pulls out her phone to check the time, standing to place her cup in the recycling bin before turning back to Wendy, a lopsided smile on her face.

“Give me your number, I have somewhere I need to be but we should hang out again soon.” 

Wendy obliges, it’d be nice to have a friend here. Someone who understands her. She finishes typing in her number and hands the device back to Tiffany who has pulled sunglasses with a huge frame out of thin air seemingly to place on her face.

“Hey, I know that things may seem a lot better here, and… they can be. But just keep your guard up. The music business is shady everywhere, it doesn’t matter where you are.” Tiffany gently rubs a hand down Wendy’s arm as she speaks. It's not as comforting as she probably believes it is. Whilst she doesn’t say whether she’s speaking from personal experience, Wendy assumes so and appreciates the advice.

"I will, thank you. Let's meet up soon!"

Tiffany turns on her heels to strut back down the street they walked down to get the juice that Wendy realizes now has made her nausea even worse. She watches her for a few steps before she turns back in place to holler in her booming voice that is way more fitting than the serious one just seconds ago.

“Congratulations on the album too.” 

Wendy is stuck in place, jaw agape with confusion. Though she's happy that they didn't end up talking about it, she's slightly worried about how Tiffany knows about it without her mentioning it at all during their catch-up.

“How did y-” Wendy tries to ask but is cut off by an already leaving Tiffany who throws her a response over her shoulder.

“Check the charts, Seungwan.”

to be continued; here

[dreriskim]

Allow me to bring you home ♥

Author’s note: fan fic of Open heart this is my version of Book 2 Chapter 1. I tried my best to express my thoughts the best way I could. It’s hard when English is not my native language, but I do hope you enjoy it nevertheless.  

Characters: Ethan x mc (Dr. Eris Kim)

---

Doctor Ramsey just got back from the Amazon. He's been away for 2 months fighting an epidemic with WHO. He did not tell Eris about his plans on volunteering mainly because he knew she might also enlist herself on the program. Part of the reason why he wanted to volunteer was to clear off his mind, and try to fight off the rather confusing affection he feels for Eris. Maybe months away from her will make him realize that what he feels for her was nothing but a fling.

Eris went crazy trying to text or call him, but to no avail. She knew he will be back today that was why when her friends invited her to Donahue's, she immediately said yes. While drinking, she keeps on staring at the door and every time it's not Ethan, she feels utterly disappointed.

She continued drinking while listening to her friends' conversations they are currently talking about their excitement for residency. Suddenly, Sienna nudged her elbow and flashed a wide grin, "Look who's here!"

Eris immediately looked up, and saw the man he was looking for the entire night. She squared her shoulders and sat up straight at the sight of Ethan Ramsey. Her heart started pounding so fast, and she felt extremely nervous. He is wearing a leather jacket, and his beard grew longer. His eyes wandered around the bar as if he is searching for someone.

"Hi Dr. Ramsey! Welcome back!" Jackie shouted capturing his attention, then she placed her hands on Eris’ shoulders. "Our Eris here is excited for her first day in the diagnostics team!"

Eris scowled at Jackie, and nervously glanced at Ethan. When they locked eyes, she couldn't breath properly, and she realized how much she missed staring at those bright blue eyes.

"Rookie." he greeted with an unreadable expression.

"You're late! I'm a resident now." His lips turned up in a wistful smile, and they gazed on each other a little longer. She felt like he was staring straight to her soul. 

"Maybe you-" She was about to invite him to sit with them when he shifted his gaze and cleared his throat. "Enjoy the rest of the night." Dr. Ramsey made his way inside the bar without looking back.

"Don't worry Eris. You will work with him in the diagnostics team. You'll have plenty of time with each other." Sienna whispered, and gave her a reassuring smile.

He is clearly avoiding me. Eris thought to herself.

After their encounter, she started drinking non-stop as if to wash away the sadness she feels inside. This is not what she expected their reunion to be. She waited for him for 2 months without any news from him or about him. What is she to Ethan Ramsey? The times they spent together did he regret all of them?

That’s it. Eris thought she wants to give him a piece of her mind. She snatched a bottle of whiskey from the table, and headed inside. She saw Ethan in his usual spot drinking his scotch alone with a grim face. She sat beside him and gave him a strained smile, "Hi Dr. Ramsey"

"Dr. Kim" he acknowledged then continued drinking. She gulped the bottle of whiskey she's holding, and he looked at her in disbelief.

"Dr. Kim, drinking too much alcohol affects your brain's frontal lobes resulting to incapacity to behave properly."

"Oh, really Doctor?" she smirked as if teasing him. "so what is your treatment plan?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "My recommendation is for you to stop drinking over your limit."

She smiled at him and placed her hand on his tensed jaw. "Wrong answer!"

He looked at her in complete shock. "Listen! I am not going to be-" Eris put a finger on his lips. "I think a kiss is a much better treatment, and I suggest a lifelong follow up." She bats her lashes at him, and his breath hitched when her finger started tracing his lower lip. Ethan immediately composed himself and removed her touch, "Christ Eris! You're drunk!"

"Oh, am I?" She suddenly remembered why she's here beside him in the first place. "I want to commend you for your bravery. You ventured in the depths of the Amazon fighting an epidemic, but I have to ask. Why didn't you keep in touch? After everything that happened between us?"

A gloomy look falls on Ethan’s face, he shifted his gaze to his glass. “..That wasn’t bravery, and everything that happened between us was the very reason I did not keep in touch. I know for sure that the moment I hear your voice, I’d start packing and fly back. It's already a shame to admit that I was there because I wanted to get away..." he paused for a moment trying to weigh his choice of words. "from you."

She looked at him with full of confusion. "From me? Why? I was worried. I just had to know if you were okay, if you were-" Eris stopped. She looked at the ceiling, and blinked twice trying to hold the tears that had been building up. Then she laughed, "I guess you're right. I'm drunk!"

"Dr. Kim in your career phase, professional development is too important and I cannot jeopardize that with.. whatever it was that we had.”  He looked at her with pain in his eyes. "We have to put in the past. You are going to be in my team, I’m going to be your boss. I need you to focus on what truly matters."

She felt a stab of pain in her chest, and she tried her best to conceal it. "and I’m here.. secretly wishing to sleep with you tonight." she made an effort to smile, and chugged her whiskey again.

She leaned in to him and whispered to his ears. "Ethan, I want you..." she said looking at him almost pleading.

Her words sent shiver down his spine to wrap around his length. Ethan felt uncomfortable with the sudden reaction from his manhood, and gave his best to restrain himself. “Eris please--” he muttered as if begging her to stop.

she chuckles at his reaction, "Okay okay!" she stopped caressing his cheeks and raised her hands in surrender. "I won't bother you anymore. Although, maybe a night with someone else would make me forget about you." she pouts.

He looked at her in disbelief. His jaw clenched, and facial muscles tensed at the thought of Eris spending a night with someone else. He stared at her face, her cheeks are flushed red. Her brown eyes are starting to look heavy, yet still mesmerizing. She looks breathtaking just like how he last saw her. He has been trying his best not to succumb to her incessant teasing, but she is making it hard for him. She is undeniably irresistible.

"Good night Dr. Ramsey. I’m gonna enjoy the rest of the night just like what you said." she gave him a painful smile, and when she was about to leave, he stopped her by holding her hand firmly.

"I suggest...don't do things you might regret." he said narrowing his eyes.

"Thank you for the reminder good Sir. However, last time I checked, outside the hospital, you don't get to tell me what to do!" She grinned, and started to move out of the bar stool.

She's leaving..

Ethan started to panic at the thought. Eris leaving? No. No. She can't. Fuck! He was the one who initiated for them to reset- to move forward and forget everything that ever happened between them. Yet, he just can't let her go.

She arched an eyebrow at him. "So?" her eyes darted at Ethan's hand.

All of Ethan's effort the last few months turned to nothing - when he cupped her face and crashed his lips onto hers. Eris’ heart pounded in her chest, and everything around them turned into a blur. He used his tongue to part her lips, and paved his way inside her mouth. He kissed her like he’s being intoxicated by the taste of whiskey on her lips. A withering pleasure begins to envelop them as A Rocket to the Moon’s Baby Blue Eyes blast through the bar’s speakers. She moaned when he sucked her lower lip. He continued to kiss her passionately, furiously, hungrily like she was the very air he breathes. 

Eris put her hands on Ethan’s neck deepening the kiss, and burning desire started to make her knees weak. His hands went straight to her waist to hold her still. After torridly kissing her, they finally break apart. A mixture of lust and pain etched on his face. He is still holding her as if he's scared she will run away. Ethan looked at her straight in the eyes, and she saw everything she wanted to see and more.

  Ethan yearns for her just as much as she does.

"I can't believe you have this much power over me, Eris Kim." he sighed.

Eris smiled at him teasingly. "Dr. Ramsey, you do know we're at Donahue's right?"

"Right." Ethan glances around the bar, and everyone seems preoccupied with their own activities.

"Allow me to safely bring you home." Ethan touched her hand, and she gave him a coy smile. “Do you seriously believe I would really go after a random guy and sleep with him?”

Ethan shut his eyes for a while, and it’s as if a dam broke when he opened them again. “Please.. don’t ever mention going after another man in front of me again. I--” He trails off and shakes his head.

All he knows is that whatever they have or had... has much power over him than he ever thought. 

[kookiesjar]

Takane No Hana Part 1

Hello, I’m back from the dead. Will soon comeback with BTS x Reader fics but I really wanted to get this out. Enjoy ~ 

Summary: Hanahaki disease is an illness from a one-sided love. Patients will cough up petals in earlier stages and at later stages they will cough up whole flowers. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.It all began with a single petal. Taehyung has been diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease and the longer he goes on loving Jungkook, the more the pain of a one-sided love grows inside him. Who knew loving could be so deadly.

Word Count: 3148

Part 1 of 3

Genre: Angst. Tragic Romance

When it first began, Taehyung was choking inside the library’s bathroom stall. He coughed violently when he felt it first come up. Tears streaked down his face as he stared at the toilet water. Many thoughts ran through his head, he wanted to understand why he suddenly felt so sick. Did he catch a new strain of the flu? What his body had been trying to expel finally came out, dancing in the air slowly as it made its way into the toilet bowl. Floating on the toilet water was a single lilac petal. Taehyung began to laugh hysterically. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. He flushed the toilet and stepped out of the bathroom stall; Jimin watched him with eyes wide open as he came out.

“Are you okay?” he asked, worry laced in his voice for his best friend. Taehyung shook his head. 

“I’m fine,” he replied. Jimin continued to stare at his best friend. There was something off about Taehyung when he walked out of the bathroom stall, but he knew he would eventually tell him when he was ready. Taehyung lightly pounded on his chest, as there was a dull uncomfortable but bearable pain every time he breathed in. He cleared his throat, grabbing water with his palms and rinsing his mouth. It tasted like a flower. 

Taehyung grabbed his bag and quickly got up, he wanted to escape the room before he bumped into Jungkook. He didn’t know when it was that he fell in love with him. He didn’t know how he fell in love with him. He was only ever supposed to be just a brother to him. Much to his dismay, Jungkook approached Taehyung with a wide grin on his face and his girlfriend right beside him. She was smaller than Jungkook and beautiful to top it all off. Most importantly, she somehow managed to make Jungkook shine brighter and vice versa. Taehyung smiled at them both. There it was again, the stabbing dull ache everytime he breathed in. The pain was growing inside him. He tried his best to keep his composure so as not to call attention to himself.

“Hyung, we were thinking of going to eat, do you wanna go?” Jungkook offered. Taehyung’s vision began to blur as he stared at their hands clasped together. 

“What the hell,” was the last thing Taehyung managed to say before he collapsed. Everything went dark and cold.

In Taehyung’s unconsciousness, he relived the day Jungkook told him he loved his girlfriend, over and over. That’s when the petal incident happened. He immediately felt nauseous and had to run to the bathroom, he never knew a pain so painful. The thing is, he didn’t know when he fell in love with Jungkook. They’ve known each other since they were children, but the sight of Jungkook’s happy smile and eye smiles when he said he loved her. It tore Taehyung into pieces. 

Taehyung gasped in the air as he woke up. A big warm hand held tightly onto his. It was Jungkook. The younger was soundly asleep, laying his head on the bed to rest momentarily. His heart was at peace at the moment, but the pain in his chest did not subside. There was a knock at the door, causing Jungkook to jump up and wipe the drool of his cheek. Taehyung chuckled as the doctor walked in. 

“How are you feeling there?” the doctor inquired. Taehyung gave him a small smile, with Jungkook here, he didn’t know whether to lie or not. 

“I’ve got a little chest pain,” it was a half truth. The pain was slowly starting to grow in him, making it hard to breathe. The doctor nodded.

“Do you have someone responsible over you? A parent? Relative?” the doctor questioned. Taehyung nodded, on his records for everything it was Jimin. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear. Jimin slid the hospital room door open.

“Tae, are you okay?” he cried. Taehyung’s eyes went wide with worry. He wouldn’t be able to hide this from Jimin for long, it was bound to come out. He knew he had to tell him today. Jungkook stood up from his seat, allowing Jimin to sit there.

“Min, I’m fine,” Taehyung reassured his best friend. The doctor turned to the both of them with x-ray scans. Jungkook’s doe eyes went wide as he caught a glimpse of the scan before the doctor asked him to leave the room. Flowers were growing inside of him. Jungkook took his leave and leaned against the wall next to the door, he wanted to try to eavesdrop. There was only one question on his mind, who was Taehyung in love with? Jimin began to sob as he saw the x-rays. A single flower was growing in Taehyung’s left lung, it was a death sentence. The three of them knew. 

“Taehyung has Hanahaki,” the doctor explained to Jimin, as Taehyung was still slightly high on pain medication. Jimin shook his head in denial, there was no way that could be it; Taehyung never once mentioned anyone to him. Realization hit Jimin when he remembered the day at the library. It was Jungkook. 

“Hanahaki is a very common disease but also deadly if you leave it be. In your case Taehyung you are still in the first stages. You can get it surgically removed but as you both may know, that will also mean the loss of romantic feelings for the person,” the doctor explained. Jimin immediately knew he wanted Taehyung to get surgery, but he also knew Taehyung hated it when others made decisions for him. He turned to Taehyung, giving him the chance to make up his mind for himself.

“Most times, we will give you time to think about what course you want to take but I want you to know if things do not work out, it will 100% kill you,” the doctor stated, sighed and continued, “I recommend surgery as soon as possible.” Taehyung shook his head fervently. Jimin observed Taehyung intensely, waiting on his answer.

“I know, Min. I’m endangering my life, but I want to cherish these feelings at least a little  longer before I get surgery,” Taehyung explained. Jimin frowned, he didn’t agree but if it was what his best friend wanted, he couldn’t say no. The doctor turned to Jimin for an answer on the course to take. 

“We’ll wait,” Jimin agreed. The doctor nodded and wrote on his clipboard.

“I will prescribe you pain medication to help with your chest discomfort, I do warn though it does not make the pain go away. It only subsides it slightly,” the doctor informed them both before he walked out of the room to give them both privacy. Jungkook cleared his throat to announce his entrance, the air hanging heavy in the room. Taehyung looked up and smiled at him. Jimin couldn’t stand to face him at the moment, there was an anger fueling in him towards the boy. 

“So, are you going to be okay?” Jungkook asked. He knew the answer to that, what he really wanted to ask was if he was going to get surgery. Jungkook just didn’t feel it was right to ask or to even leave the slightest hint that he had a clue about what was going on yet. He wanted Taehyung to tell him himself. It ached his chest to see Taehyung give him his usual boxy smile.

“I’m perfectly fine, just bad heartburn,” Taehyung lied. He knew love was painful, he just didn’t think it would quite literally kill him. Jungkook surveyed Taehyung’s face, he knew he was lying, he just didn’t know why he wouldn’t tell him the truth. It kind of irritated him, because he didn’t know why he had to be kept from the truth as if he were still a little kid. 

“If you say so,” Jungkook mumbled under his breath as he stomped out of the hospital room. Jimin got up, ready to give him an earful but Taehyung grabbed his arm before he could get any further.

“It’s okay,” Taehyung said, “Let him go. It’s better if he doesn’t know.” Jimin turned back at him, eyebrows raised.

“What do you mean? You’re not going to tell him?” Jimin asked. Taehyung shook his head slowly. It’s better if he doesn’t know, he thinks to himself. It would just further complicate things.

Taehyung dropped on his bed, stuffing his face in his pillow. He hadn’t seen Jungkook in a week. He was also starting to get used to the uncomfortable feeling in his chest. There was a light rapping on his door. Jimin walked in with his medication and a cup of water. Sometimes Jimin made Taehyung feel like a child, not that he minded, it was nice to be taken care of sometimes. Taehyung placed the two small pills in his mouth and swallowed.

“Do they make you feel better?” Jimin asked curiously. Taehyung gave him a small shrug, they didn’t really do much for him besides subdue the pain a little less. At least he didn’t constantly feel like he was choking. 

“Have you talked to Jungkook?” Taehyung wondered. His best friend shook his head sadly. Neither of them had seen the younger and Jungkook hadn’t bothered to come visit to see if Taehyung was okay. It stung at Taehyung’s wounds to know that maybe in fact Jungkook didn’t even at least love him as a friend or older brother. He was starting to feel like he was nothing to Jungkook. 

“You have to go to the hospital tomorrow right, do you want me to go with you?” Jimin offered. Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head, he was alright going on his own. He didn’t want to feel more like a burden to his best friend.

Taehyung stepped into the hospital room, a cold gust of wind hit his chest causing him to cough uncontrollably and cough up a petal. He quickly shoved it in his pocket, scoffing in disgust. Sure, he wanted to cherish his love for Jungkook but he just hated coughing up petals in public, it was embarrassing. The hospital smelled of disinfectant. He never felt anything towards hospitals but lately it was a different story, because the hospital to him was synonymous to bad news. There really wasn’t much for the doctor to tell him other than he was closer to death with each passing minute. He walked up to the reception desk and beamed at the nurse. The nurse checked him in and sent him on his way to the doctor. He let out a loud sigh and gazed at the white tiling. He really didn’t want to hear what the doctor had to say, there was nothing to say. The flowers are growing. They’re going to continue growing and there was no way to get Jungkook to fall in love with him because Jungkook has a girlfriend and has also been avoiding him like a plague. His thoughts were killing him more than the flowers in this silence. The doctor called Taehyung in.

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asked him per protocol.

“My chest is fine, the medication is helping tremendously,” Taehyung answered. The doctor shook his head, that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. 

“No, I mean how are you doing?” he asked again. 

“I don’t know. I know in the end I am going to get surgery but I don’t think I can wrap my head around a life without loving him…” Taehyung trailed off. The doctor nodded. That was always the case with most patients, it wasn’t anything new to him. Humans were built to love, to take that love away would deprive them of feeling human. 

Taehyung walked out of the appointment feeling even more listless. The doctor recommended him to go to therapy for help and then sent him off to pick up his prescription. Taehyung ruffled his hair, frustrated that he was even in this situation to begin with. During his fit he accidentally bumped into another man. He was small but he had a cold piercing gaze and a confidence that Taehyung could never match up to. 

“Watch where you’re going,” the man hissed at him. Taehyung backed up, hands in the air. 

“Sorry, I’m just here to pick up my prescription,” Taehyung explained, showing him the paper. The man’s gaze fell and his face softened. He showed Taehyung his prescription. They were the same.

After picking up their prescriptions, the two sat together outside the hospital to talk and confide in each other. It was easier to talk to someone who understood you. Taehyung handed the man a cola can. 

“My name is Yoongi by the way,” he introduced himself. Taehyung gave him a small smile and introduced himself too. They sat in silence for a minute, understanding the situation the two were in and empathizing with each other. There was no feeling more painful than feeling suffocated by your own love for someone. 

“How long have you had it?” Taehyung finally asked. He had secretly been dying to know, especially because Hanahaki advanced quickly. Yoongi  took a sip of the cola and looked up at the sky. The weather was perfect today to spend with your significant other. 

“My love for him is finding roots in my lungs,” Yoongi began. Taehyung’s eyes went wide, realizing how advanced Yoongi was. He has clearly had it for a while already, much longer than Taehyung. Yoongi looked at Taehyung and gave him a gummy grin to reassure him. Whenever he told people what stage he was in, they would begin to pity him.

“It’s a pitable disease,” Yoongi stated. Taehyung crushed the can in his hand, his heart could only wish to do the same for his feelings towards Jungkook.

“You’d think that people would be smarter and not continue falling for people who don’t love them back…” Yoongi ranted. Taehyung looked up from the can in his hand and watched Yoongi. It was a pitiable disease. Pitiable because it’s inevitable to fall in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

“You can’t control your feelings,” Taehyung claimed. Yoongi shook his head. He observed the ground, something he found himself doing often lately. He knew that we are not able to control our feelings, but you’d think… the heart would be smarter about it so as to avoid such a painful death. You’d think the body would want to survive more than anything, but it allows something like unreciprocated love to kill it. Taehyung breathed in deeply, catching Yoongi’s attention, worry glazed over his eyes. 

“This love I have, it’s consuming me… and I don’t know what to do,” Taehyung despaired. Yoongi took Taehyung’s hands in his. His eyes pierced Taehyung’s.

“Love is supposed to be something great. You know, like the ones out of the movies. Where they love each other limitlessly and the only thing getting in their way is their parents. It’s not supposed to hurt, at least not like this. But we’re idiots Taehyung. We love people who could never love us back. Only a miracle could save us. There is nothing you can do,” Yoongi sighed. Taehyung let his head hang. Yoongi was right, there was nothing he could do. 

Yoongi dropped his prescription bag on the table. There was an extra pair of shoes in the cubicles in front of his front door. They were most definitely Hoseok’s. He opened his prescription bottle and popped the pills in his mouth as soon as Hoseok walked in with a glass of water. Hoseok made sure he never missed a beat to take care of Yoongi, but Yoongi knew he did it out of guilt. He selfishly accepted it, because at least he knew Hoseok cared one way or another. At this point, Yoongi was grasping onto straws in hopes that Hoseok would love him back eventually.

“You wouldn’t have to take these pills if you would just get the surgery you know,” Hoseok began. Yoongi furiously shook his head at Hoseok. If he were in this position then he would understand Yoongi’s predicament. 

“No, not yet. What if you do end up falling in love with me and I miss the chance to finally be mutually in love,” as soon as those words slipped out his mouth he began to cough harshly into his hand. Hoseok ran up to Yoongi, worry written on his face. Yoongi pulled his hand away from his mouth, his pale palm was now red. He quickly hid it from Hoseok whose eyes were already wide with fear. They both knew if he waited any longer he could die. Hoseok grabbed Yoongi by the shoulders and pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Please, please get surgery. I’m not worth your life,” Hoseok begged. Tears began to silently stream down Yoongi’s cheeks. There was no way he was going to get surgery yet.

“No, I’m going to hold out ‘till the last minute, just in case by a miracle you fall in love with me,” Yoongi proclaimed. Hoseok sighed, the guilt was eating away at him that Yoongi’s life was basically in his hands. They stood in each other’s arms in silence for what felt like eternity.

“Fine,” Hoseok finally agreed.

Taehyung lounged on the couch as Jimin warmed up tea for him. Still no sign of Jungkook. There was a deafening silence that filled the house with Jungkook’s absence, it was something Taehyung couldn’t get used to. Jimin handed him his cup of tea and took a seat next to him. Jimin attempted to make conversation with Taehyung but his head was in the clouds. There had been two questions constantly bothering Taehyung, the first was why he never noticed he loved Jungkook and the second was he wanted to know when he first fell in love with Jungkook. Was it when they first met or was it when Jungkook who was really shy first smiled at him. He thinks it was neither of those, but the day that Taehyung was being bullied by his peers and Jungkook came running to his rescue. Taehyung was ten and Jungkook was eight, it didn’t matter how much younger Jungkook was than Taehyung, he was always much cooler than him. Taehyung began to think that it was a good thing that Hanahaki only ever really affected teenagers and adults, or else he would’ve died at an early age. There was just really no way not to fall in love with Jungkook. He was great and he was him. Taehyung’s thoughts were interrupted by his cough, it sounded like he was going to cough up a lung. It wasn’t a lung he coughed up, but a whole flower. A mallow flower. Jimin looked at the flower that was on Taehyung’s lap and then back up at his best friend. 

“You have to get surgery soon or you’re going to die,” Jimin asserted. 

-----------

Part 2. 

[lofitowns]

this girl - s. harrington

❝ THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY JUST REALIZED WHAT LOVE IS ❞

In which a boy likes a girl and a girl likes a girl (Henderson! fem! reader)

              fandom ; stranger things

              word count ; 2791

              warnings ; none that i can think of, a little cursing

              (y/n) - your name

as a forewarning, this is the first writing i’m publishing here! so sorry if it’s really bad! (i’m really nervous about posting it) if you like it though, like it maybe? repost? if you don’t, that’s fine too! i’ll take constructive criticism! i read this over a few times but tell me if i missed any big errors! thank you!

           The only reason you came to the small ice cream shop in the big new mall was to see your friends Robin Buckley. That was all.

     Dustin had been away at camp for a few weeks, all your friends had been on vacations, and you had been bored out of your mind. 

     You felt like you had listened to all your records fifty times over and had seen all the movies Family Video had to offer. Your mom tried to get you to the pool a couple times but seeing Billy Hargrove and Mrs. Wheeler flirting every day made you want to vomit.     

     When Robin Buckley, your friend from school theatre told you she scored a job at Scoops Ahoy, you decided you should visit her. Make her life a little more interesting. 

     The first time you visited her, she had been at the counter, scooping ice cream for some little girl and her mother. When her eyes landed on you, you saw actual joy fill them instead of the forced one she had while she served.

     “Finally, someone with actual brain cells,” She greeted, a large smile appearing on her face.

     “I know, I know. I’m your favorite person,” You teased, leaning forward on the counter, “Now, what would you recommend?”

     “Knowing you, I’m just going to give you a vanilla cone with sprinkles,” She responded making you hum in agreement. She got to work making your cone, a small blush forming on her cheeks.

     Suddenly, the glass sliding window from behind the counter opened, revealing a very unhappy looking Steve Harrington. 

     “Robin, can you ple-” He stopped after seeing you. 

     You managed a small smile and wave before Robin handed you your ice cream treat. 

     “Can I please what?”

     Steve still didn’t respond to her, “Hey, (y/n)! I haven’t seen you yet this summer. Dustin doing okay? Is he here?”

     “Oh yeah, hey,” You greeted, feeling a bit weird. You hadn’t actually talked to Steve since the Snow Ball for the middle schoolers when he had taken Dustin. Sure you had seen him, he hung out with your brother many times since then, you had just never had the chance to talk. 

     “I’ve been... Busy,” You hadn’t been, “And Dustin’s at summer camp. He’s coming back in a couple week though.”

     “Oh yeah, right. He told me about that. I must have... I must have forgotten,” He chuckled nervously, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair, forgetting about the little hat his employer made him wear. It fell off, making him flinch and you giggle.

     His face flushed as he reached to grab it while Robin scoffed. “Whatever,” The girl turned back to you with a coy grin, “You can have this ice cream on the house if you promise to come visit me.”

     You let out a small laugh, taking a lick of the cone you held, “You have yourself a deal, Buckley.”

     That was why you had been here almost every day for the past two weeks. Not because you thought Steve “The Hair” Harrington was cute. 

-----

     Dustin was finally home from camp and after not being able to reach Suzie and his friends bailing on him, you decided he could use a nice pick me up. This included Steve and ice cream. Both things made him very, very happy.

     As soon as you walked into Scoops Ahoy, Robin waved at you from behind the counter. Dustin ran in front of you, smacking his hands down on the counter, “Is he here?”

     There was a sudden bang as the door behind the counter hit the wall. “Henderson!” Dustin laughed and pointed at an excited Steve running towards him, “Henderson! He’s back!” 

     You walked towards Robin, leaning against the counter as your brother and his best friend did their dorky handshake. You shook your head, laughing as Robin’s face twisted, “What was that?” She whispered to you, furrowing her brows.

     “What can I say, they’re dorks.”

-----     

     You sat next to Steve and Dustin as he told him about his summer love affair at science camp. 

     “No, no. No way. Hotter than Phoebe Cates? No.” You let out a small laugh at the two boys next to you. In the past couple of weeks, you had gotten a lot closer with Steve than you were before. You went from not really talking to him to seeing him whenever you went to visit Robin, which was frequently.

     In all honesty, you developed a small crush on the boy. Sure you knew he was a good guy before, if Dustin was friends with him he couldn’t be that bad. And you had seen him try to beat up Billy not that long ago and save you and all your younger friends. 

     Now you knew he was funny, really funny. He was cute and very considerate. He cared about other people a lot more than himself. If you had told Freshman you, who had a crush on Steve Harrington, that you would be friends with him, she would have laughed in your face.

     When their conversation drifted to Russian communications, it piqued your interest again. 

     “Wait, you did what?” You whisper shouted. he hadn’t told you anything about this. 

     Dustin’s face screwed up for a moment before his voice raised from whispers to shouts, “I intercepted a secret Russian communication!”

     The three pairs of eyes in your corner booth went wide as the rest of the patrons in the ice cream shop looked at you. You all shook it off before starting to whisper again.

     “What does that mean?” Steve asked, leaning closer to the two of you.

     “It means, Steve, we could be heroes. True American heroes.”

     Dustin mentioned having all the ladies they could want and you scoffed. “Oh, shut it, Dustin.”

     He simply shrugged before Steve asked about a catch.

     “No catch, I just need your help.”

     “With what?” The brunette asked as Dustin reached into his bag, pulling out a Russian-English dictionary. 

     “Translation.”

-----

     That felt like years ago once you were down in the secret Russian basement. 

     Your translations had lead to you all, well Robin, realizing the messages were talking about being inside the mall. And that leads to you finding an elevator that brought you down into the Russian base. Now, you were on your way out of said elevator with a loopy Steve and Robin.

     You had to run back into the mall, planning on hiding out in the movie theatre. There were two seats on both ends of the first row. You dropped Steve and Robin off at one end while you sat next to Erica at the other, Dustin leaving to try and contact his friends.

     You were engrossed with the movie, only being pulled from your trance by your brother kneeling next to you.

      He bickered with Erica about batteries before looking past the two of you at the other end of your row. Your head turned there was well, eyes widening.

     “Where... are they?”

-----

     Steve and Robin leaned against their respective bathroom stall walls after drinking their weight in water and throwing it all up. Hopefully, that would get the drugs out of their system.

     “The ceiling stopped spinning for me,” Robin commented as she looked up, eyes roaming around, “Is it still spinning for you?”

     Steve removed his hand from over his eyes so he could look up as well, “Holy shit. No. You think we puked it all up?”

     “Maybe. Ask me something,” Robin encouraged, leaning to lay her back on the ground, her feet above her. “Interrogate me,” She added using a fake Russian accent.

     “Okay. Interrogate you. Sure. Um...” Steve paused for a second before coming up with a question, “When was the last time you, uh, peed your pants?”

     Robin responded quickly, “Today.”

     “What?”

     “When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw,” She explained while Steve laughed, “It was just a little bit, though!”

     “Yeah, it’s definitely still in her system.”

     They both shared a moment of laughter before Robin straightened up and sat with her back to the wall. “All right, my turn.”

     “Okay, hit me.”

     “Have you...” She paused, “Ever been in love?”

     “Yep, Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year,” He answered before making a gun shape with his fingers and making a shooting sound with his mouth.

     “Oh my god, she is such a priss.”

     Steve shrugged, “Hm. Turns out, not really.”

     Robin scoffed, “Are you still in love with Nancy?”

     Steve’s heart started to flutter, not because of Nancy, not because of Robin. Because he was thinking about you. 

     “No.”

     “Why not?”

     “I think it’s because I found someone who’s a little bit better for me,” The boy started, “It’s crazy. Ever since Dustin got home, he’s been saying, ‘You know, you gotta find your Suzie. You gotta find your Suzie.’”

     Robin cut him off, “Wait, who’s Suzie?”

     Steve shook his head, “It’s some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I’m not 100% sure she’s even real,” He admitted, running his fingers through his hair, “But that’s not-- That’s not really the point. That doesn’t matter. The point is this girl, you know, the one that I like, she’s somebody I never talked to in school. Not until last year, actually. And I haven’t really talked to her until this summer. I don’t even know why. She’s... She’s an amazing person but I didn’t see that and because Tommy H. would have made fun of me or something. I mean, Dustin’s right, it’s all just a bunch of bullshit anyway,” Steve paused to take a breath.

     “Because, when I think about it, I should’ve been hanging out with this girl the whole time. She’s so funny, hilarious. Spending this summer with her, I think I’ve laughed harder than I have in my entire life. And she’s smart, so smart. A lot smarter than I could ever be. And she’s so compassionate, especially to her brother and his friends.” 

     This caused Robin’s eyes to widen. He was talking about (y/n). The girl Robin had had a crush on since they met in her Freshmen year. The reason she knew she liked girls. A soft sigh passed her lips as she laid her face in her folded arms.

     “And she’s saved my ass before, like in the Russian base and last year. She's just not like anyone I’ve ever met before,” Steve stopped gushing for a moment to check on his friend.

     “Robin?” His eyebrows furrowed as he tapped on the stall door, “Robin, did you just OD in there?”

     “No,” she sighed again, moving back so her back was against the wall, regaining her composure, “I am still alive.”

     Steve licked his lips before moving to slide under the door between them. 

     “The floor’s disgusting.”

     “Yeah, well, I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so...” They both paused, not looking at each other before Steve spoke again, “What do you think?”

     “About?”

     “This girl.”

     “She sounds awesome,” Robin nodded. She knew you were.

     “She is awesome. And what about the guy?”

     “He seems very oblivious.”

     Steve’s eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

     “Do you remember what I said about Clink’s class? About me being jealous, and, like, obsessed?”

     Steve nodded.

     “It isn’t because I had a crush on you. It’s because...” Her voice wavered at what she was about to admit, “she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”

     Steve shook his head in confusion, “Mrs. Clink?”

     Robin let out a nervous laugh, “(y/n) Henderson,” she stopped, “I wanted her to look at me. But... she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn’t understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And-- And you didn’t even like her and... I would go home... And just scream into my pillow.”

     Robin felt her chest heave, a weight being lifted off her shoulders at her confession. Steve still looked totally confused.

     “But (y/n) is a girl.”

     “Steve...”

     “Yeah?”

     The boy paused for a second before realization swept over him, “Oh.”

     “Oh.”

     “Holy shit.”

     “Yeah. Holy shit,” Robin turned her attention from Steve to the bandaid on her knee.

     After a few moments of him not responding, she looked back to him, “Steve? Did you OD over there?” 

     “No, I just, uh... Just thinking.”

     Robin reached up and fiddled with her earring, a thing she did when she was nervous or stressed, “Okay.”

     “I mean, yeah. (y/n), she’s really cute. She’s really nice too. You guys would be cute together-”

     Robin cut him off, “Steve, were you not listening to a thing I said? She likes you. This summer... It’s just proven that. I thought that maybe she could like me too but... Just seeing how you two interact with each other. How you joke and care for each other. How she looks at you. Especially after they had to leave us with the Russians. She really likes you, Steve.”

     The brunette boy felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest.

     “I... I can’t do that to you, Robin.”

     “It’s really okay, I don’t even know if she likes girls. But I know she likes you.”

     The pair shared a smile right before Dustin, Erica, and the girl they were just speaking of crashed into the bathroom. 

     “Okay. What the hell?”

-----

     After the events of the Starcourt, you definitely needed a break. After you found Steve and Robin, you had tried to sneak out but couldn’t, causing you to be reunited with everyone. Then, Billy died. Hearing Max’s cries were anguish. Sure, the guy was an asshole to you but you felt really bad. After everything was done, you found out Hopper died. That was the thing that broke you. 

     You had been sitting in the back of an ambulance, holding the shock blanket a medic had given you close, when you saw Steve. You locked eyes, a mutual understanding of the need to be held passed through your gaze.

     As the rain fell around you, you met at the halfway point and enveloped each other in your arms, gripping onto each other tightly. You didn’t care how disgusting you both were or how weak you felt, you felt warm again in his arms.

     You started sobbing into his shoulder, your whole body shaking as the events of that night came crashing down. You had almost died and someone you looked up to had. You tried to calm yourself down as Steve rubbed his hand up and down your back in a comforting manner, whispering in your ear, telling you you were going to be okay.

     That was three months ago. 

     Your relationship with Steve had definitely changed since then. You still hadn’t spoken about it though. 

     Today was the day the Byers and El were leaving Hawkins. You had gone with Dustin to say goodbye to them, your heart aching for all of the kids, along with Jonathan, Nancy, and of course Joyce.

     It was a tearful goodbye and when Dustin told you he was going to Mike’s house after, you decided to drive yourself over to Steve’s. 

     You waited after knocking on his door, wringing your hands together. A few moments passed before the boy you were looking for opened the door.

     “Hey,” You greeted softly, your face was already red and blotchy from the few tears you had shed at the Byers’ old home.

     “Hey,” He breathed out, opening the door wider for you to step in.

     You followed him into his living room, taking a seat on the sofa next to him. 

     “Did they leave today?” He questioned, not having to say who.

     You nodded, sending him a soft smile before taking a deep breath. You were going to tell him. You had to. Seeing Joyce so broken up after Bob and Hopper, you didn’t want something else to happen to where you might lose Steve.

     “I... I really need to talk to you,” You started, staring at your hands where they rested on your knees, “I don’t really know how to say this, but I really like you, Steve. As in a more than a friend way.”

     You looked up at the boy who had a dopey smile on his lips and a look of pure admiration in his eyes.

     “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that,” He whispered, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek.

     “Is this okay?” He questioned, leaning forward to kiss you.

     As you nodded, you closed the distance, your lips molding together in a perfect kiss. 

thank you for reading :) have a good day!

[ruthoakenshield]

The Lady in Black Leather (chapter 6)

The Lady in Black Leather (chapter 5)

The next morning you wake to the sound of someone lightly snoring and you have the song ‘Pretty Woman’ stuck in your head for some reason. You lay there humming it to yourself quietly and then decide to open your eyes and instantly realize you have a hangover headache from the whiskey. You groan quietly and squint to see what is making the snoring sound. Your eyes get huge when you see the bare chest with dark hair of someone. You look up and realize it’s Richard!

You give a little squeak and look down. You sigh realizing he slept on top of the blankets and you are under them… you hope nothing intimate happened last night, which seems to be a bit of a blur.

You vaguely remember watching Aiden, Scarlet, Orlando and his friend all playing twister, and then people singing karaoke. Is that where the song got stuck in your head? Then you suddenly remember standing in the kitchen in Richard’s arms as he sings it to you quietly while someone in the Living Room is horribly singing it. You remember talking with Richard and playing ‘Ice hockey’, which makes you grin and giggle, and you remember talking with Martin about something then going to watch a movie and sitting in Richard’s lap as you did so.

You hear Richard’s breathing change and you look up to realize he is looking down at your head that is resting on his shoulder. His arm is under your neck and loosely wrapped over your waist, cradling you against his side.

He gives you a little squeeze. “Mornin’ sweetheart.” He tells you with a grin.

“Um, morning.” You reply bashfully. “What am I doing here? Where am I?” you ask him.

He chuckles. “You fell asleep on my lap while we watched the movie downstairs.” He tells you. “Don’t worry, though, a bunch of other people are passed out on the furniture and floor in the living room too. I decided you’d probably feel more comfortable up here, away from everyone else.” He informs you as he turns on his side to face you.

“You’re in my room right now. I wanted to make sure you were ok during the night and didn’t have any problems after the whiskey you drank.” He says with a smirk. “Though it wasn’t the four or five you had the other night.” He says with a grin.

You groan. “Thanks… I’m having a bit of a hangover headache. That stuff Graham brought was really strong!” You tell him.

Richard chuckles. “I figured you might. I’ll get you something for it when we go down for breakfast. Don’t be surprised if people tease us a little. Don’t worry though, nothing happened. I put you under the blankets and made sure I slept on top of them. All that happened was you cuddling with me.” He assures you and kisses your forehead. “Though they probably won’t believe us if we told them that.”

“Thanks, Richard, for not taking advantage of me.” You say quietly.

Richard cups your face with one of his hands. “I was warned not to by Graham.” He grins when you give him as surprised look.

“You’ve been through enough right now. I know you didn’t need that on top of everything. I had no intention on doing such a thing anyway. If I’m gonna make love to a woman, I want her to be sober for it so she will give her consent and remember what we do.” He tells you as he kisses your forehead and nose. “And though you weren’t sloshed like some of my guests were, you weren’t completely sober either.” He says with a grin.

You giggle, “Ice hockey and Pretty Woman”.

And he chuckles. “Ahhh, so you DO remember that part of the evening!” he teases.

You blush and duck your head in his chest. “I had fun with that.” You mumble. You hear and feel his laugh reverberating in his chest. “I did too, Love. We’ll have to do it again sometime, my little Ice monster!” he teases.

You sit up and giggle. You lift the blanket and look to see how clothed you were. You look over at him surprised.

He grins. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I only took your corset and boots off. Didn’t think it would be terribly comfortable for you to sleep in a corset, and well, the boots just had to go.” He said with a grin. “No boots in bed!” he teases, making you laugh.

“Don’t know how you can stand wearing something so tight as that corset! How the heck did you get into that??? I had a heck of a time trying to get it off you. Thought I was gonna break those hooks!” he informed you with an arched brow.

You giggle, “You’re supposed to loosen the laces in back first.” You inform him. He gives you a raised eyebrow. “Kind of hard to do that when you’re sound asleep.” He tells you. You just giggle again.

You yawn and stretch. “I like how the corset feels. It supports my chest better than a bra, and the tight feeling around my belly helps support me while my body adapts to the aftermath of my surgery.” You explain.

He looks at you for a moment. “Graham & Scarlett mentioned you had to have a surgery, but they didn’t say what it was for.” He told you. “Do you mind me asking what kind of surgery you had?” he says as he runs his fingers along the side of your face, brushing stray hairs away.

You close your eyes, trying to figure out how to tell him and worried how he will react. You sigh and remember what Graham had told you in the car. You hoped it didn’t disappoint Richard too much.

You sat up and scooted back against the headboard. Richard did the same and wrapped an arm around you, patiently waiting for you to gather your thoughts and answer his question.

“I had to have a hysterectomy.” You say quietly. “I had a large tumor growing in my womb that was very painful and was causing a lot of health problems for me. My doctor said it had pretty much taken over the inside of my womb and that I’d never be able to have kids because of it. He recommended the surgery to remove the womb and my ovaries, so there’s no further issues.” You tell him.

“It devastated me, since I always dreamed of having my own kids and feeling what it was like to be pregnant. But now I’ll never know.” You reply in almost a whisper, a few tears rolling down your cheeks.

“My boyfriend at the time was livid and didn’t believe me that I needed it despite the ultrasound pictures. He told me women were made to make babies and keep house and cook, and that if I had the surgery, I would be worthless, and damaged goods, and good for nothing but being a maid and his fuck toy.” You tell him and hear him quietly growl.

“I didn’t have a choice, I had to have the surgery, the pain during my periods was getting unbearable and I just couldn’t take it any longer. I had the surgery right after Christmas and he dumped me as soon as he heard what I did.

I still feel hollow and empty and worthless, like trash tossed to the side of the road.” You tell Richard quietly, your head hanging down.

“Graham tried to encourage me and told me not to believe what my ex told me, but the wounds are already there. I don’t know how to not believe them.

Scarlett tries to help me feel better about myself. That was why were went shopping the day I met Graham and you. I had just been cleared by my doc to return to normal activities and I was feeling like shit and was depressed.

We went through my closet and purged a lot of my old clothes. Then she took me to her favourite salon and paid them to give me a makeover, and do my hair, makeup and nails, then we went to shop. Graham literally ran into me and nearly knocked me off my feet when we had just come out of a store and were heading for another one.

He somehow keeps bumping into me in different places and has been really nice to me every time.” You tell Richard. “He’s not stalking me, is he?” you ask teasingly.

Richard laughs hard, “No, sweetheart, he isn’t stalking you.” He replies with some more giggles.

He pulls you close to him and gives you a hug. “I’m SO sorry you’ve had to go through all this, Sweetheart. Graham is right though; don’t believe the horrible things your ex has told you.

You are a treasure! You have SO much more value than just making babies! You ARE beautiful, inside, and out! You are sexy and seem to drive me crazy just thinking about being with you. I can’t get you off my mind!

You radiate a light that can only come from having an inner beauty, which is so much more important and desirable than just a sexy body on the outside. You are funny, a tease, and witty, and you’re a joy to be around.” He tells you and hugs you tight.

“Martin is very picky who he parties with and receiving an open invitation from him to party with him and his partner any time you like is a very big deal. Not many people are offered that!” he tells you. “We all think so much of you, Harley. We all want to see your ex punished for what he has done to you and we want to see you happy, thriving, protected and him out of the picture permanently.” Richard tells you as he holds you close.

“I know you don’t seem to want our help and want to do things on your own, but we all REALLY want you to be safe. Please, Sweetheart, let us get you the dog, to help comfort and protect you. We’ll pay for everything for it till you get situated and back on your feet. It would set our minds at ease knowing you have a trained guard dog who can protect you from creeps and assholes like your ex.” He says as he tilts your face to look up at him.

“Graham has friends who train dogs for this, and he can hook you up with the perfect dog for you. We’ll cover the training costs, vet bills, food and pet deposit for you. You won’t have to worry about any of that and the dog will alert you when people with bad intentions are nearby and will attack at your command if you are threatened.” He assures you.

You sigh. “I know, you all want me safe. I did think about Graham’s suggestion of getting one. I’ve never had a pet before though. What do I do if places won’t let me bring him in though? I don’t have a car to put him in, and I’m not just gonna tie him up outside the business all alone while I shop or eat.” You ask.

We can get together with Graham later today and you can ask him those questions. Perhaps you can ask the police who are handling your case as well. They may know how to get the dog registered as a service animal for you, then you should be allowed to bring him anywhere.” Richard tells you as you lean your head against his shoulder.

“What do ya say, Harley, will you let us give you a gift like this?” Richard asks quietly.

You sigh. “What if the dog doesn’t like me? I’m terribly afraid of some kinds of dogs.” You tell him.

“What kinds of dogs are you afraid of, Love? We’ll be sure not to have them as an option.” He tells you.

“Pitbulls, Boxers, Rotties, Pincers, and Dobermans,” You reply. “or any kind of dog mixed with them.”

“What kind of dogs do you think you’d like?” Richard asks.

“I don’t know. There are so many different breeds, I don’t know the names of them. My friend had one who looked like a cross between a sled dog, a German Shepperd and a wolf. It was a pretty grey color and stood taller than me when she got up on her hind legs!” you said with a giggle. She was a good guard dog for them. I guess I’d have to see what my options are and go from there.” You sigh.

Richard grins and looks you in the face, “So is that a yes?” he asks.

You look into his eyes and see how badly he wants you to agree to this. You see he truly cares about you and wants to help. You nod and he gives you a dazzling smile.

“Thank You, Love. I will sleep better at night knowing you have a dog to protect you when we can’t be there to do it.” He whispers in your ear and kisses your cheek and neck.

You close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of security and love he creates in you when he holds you in his arms and kisses you.

“Mmmmhmmm.” You reply as you reach up into his hair and run your fingers through it.

Richard groans and moves to sit back up. “We better stop before I lose my self-control, Love. I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for.” He tells you.

“Richard?” you ask quietly.

“Yes, Love?” he replies.

“I know we just met, but for some reason, you make me feel safe and loved in a way no one else ever has. I’ve never been treated the way you treat me. Why do you do it? Why do you treat me the way you do?” you ask.

He smiles at your confession. “Sweetheart, I try to treat all women with respect. My father taught me that women are to be respected and treated the way I’d want my sister or mother to be treated. That they aren’t just some sex toy to play with and then cast aside.” He explains as he cups your face with his hands and leans his forehead against yours.

“He taught me to see the value in kindness and compassion, and how to recognize someone who is beautiful on the inside and not just put emphasis on the outer appearance.” Richard explains.

“I see people for who they are, not just how they look. My father always said, ‘One man’s trash is another’s treasure.’ And I believe he is right. We’re all a little broken in some way on the inside.

In Japan, broken objects are pieced back together with gold and are seen as something of great value. Stained glass windows are beautiful to look at and are made from broken pieces of colored glass, Mosaics also are beautiful and are made from broken pottery or tile pieces. All are beautiful in their own, unique way, and are created from broken things. People are no different.” He tells you with a sad smile.

“You have a uniqueness that caught my attention from the moment I first saw you. Like a beautiful stained-glass window with sunlight shining through it. I can’t explain it, but it is there. You glow in a certain way when you are happy and relaxed, and it is intoxicating to see and be around.” He tells you.

“I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend, when you were getting ready to leave the bar, but I didn’t know how to say it with out coming off as an idiot.” He confesses. “You make me happy and I hope I can do the same for you, Harley, if you’d let me?” he tells you with hope and love reflecting in his baby blue eyes.

You look into his face and see his sincerity. You close your eyes and remember Graham’s words about Richard being different from your former boyfriends, and how Graham promised Richard would treat you right and how he speaks from the heart and means what he says.

You open your eyes again and look into his hopeful ones. You sigh. “You really want to date me despite what a mess my life is right now? I know you value your privacy, and this could get quite messy if my ex tries to get his way. I don’t want you dragged into this mess and have it published all over the tabloids.” You tell him quietly.

He takes your face in his hands and he tells you, “I want to help you out of this mess, Harley. You don’t have to try and clean it up all on your own. Let me help you, be my girl and let me be your refuge in this storm.” He begs.

You look up at his eyes and then give him a small smile and nod. “Ok, Rich, if that is what you want.”

He gives you a HUGE grin and pulls you in for a tight hug, releasing the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

“Thank You, Love. I promise I will treat you better than what you’ve had before. I cherish you and you are my treasure; I hope I can be yours!” he tells you and kisses you silly. Making you giggle and hold him closely.

You hold each other contentedly for a few minutes until your tummy starts to growl and gurgle. You giggle and say, “I think I need some breakfast or it’s gonna eat me from the inside out!”

Richard looks at you and starts belly laughing as he puts a hand on your grumbling tummy. “Ok, Love, let’s get up and go see who else is awake and hungry.” He says grinning and helps you out of the bed.

He watches with fascination as you grab the corset and untie and loosen the laces at the back and shift it till the laces are all even. Then you put it on and hook the hooks in the front. You lean forward (and away from Richard) and adjust your girls so they sit where they are supposed to, then stand up and walk over to the mirror and fumble around looking for the center loops to start cinching it.

Richard sees you fumbling with the back lacing and comes over hesitantly putting his hand on yours. “Here, Love, let me help.” He says quietly. You look over your shoulder and see him looking down at the laces.

“Ok.” You reply quietly turning to face the mirror and lean over slightly so he can see the lacing better. “Find the center loops and start to pull so all the laces are tight and there’s no slack anywhere. Make sure the top and bottom stay fairly even. I don’t want it looking like a triangle in back.” You explain.

He finds the center loops and begins to pull them slowly. He helps you adjust the back panel, so it covers where the laces rest against your back, then little by little he cinches the corset closed working up and down the laces to make sure they are the right tension and being careful not to get it too tight.

You are standing in front of his long dresser and glance up into the mirror. He is standing behind you, bare chested, intently focused on getting you laced up properly. You are slightly bent forward leaning on the dresser with your long, frizzy braid hanging over your left shoulder.

He finishes tying the laces and gently tucks them in to the weave like you told him to. He glances up and sees you watching him. He rests his hands on your hips and smiles happily at you in the mirror.

Richard feels like lacing you into your corset is such an intimate act and he is honored that you trust him enough to do this. He tries to be careful to not tug too hard and keeps asking you if it’s too tight or too loose, doing his best to keep communication open. When he ties off the laces and tucks them in, he glances up to the mirror and sees you watching him. He smiles at you happily and rests his hands on your hips, enjoying the curves the corset creates.

He gently pulls you to stand and then pulls you so your back rests against his chest. He wraps his hands around your middle and leans down, placing his hands on your lower belly. He looks into the mirror at your beautiful, beaming face and he is just so taken by you.

“Don’t feel bad about having to have your surgery, Love. It doesn’t bother me. I love you for who you are. If you decide you want kids, we can always adopt some, that is, if you decide to keep me around.” He says with a chuckle. “I love you, Harley, and there is no surgery in the world that you could have that would ever change that, my Love for you is steady and unfailing.” He whispers into your ear, then kisses your cheek.

You stand there, his arms wrapped around you in a loving embrace, holding your belly that once held a womb, and hearing him say that it doesn’t bother him that that part of you no longer exists, and hearing his affirmation of love, it all sends tears of joy rolling down your cheeks. You can hardly believe this is happening and keep expecting to wake up from this amazing dream. How can anyone be so wonderful!?!

He sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and turns you gently to face him. He takes your hands and he backs up to sit on the end of the bed, pulling you along until you’re standing between his thighs. Richard looks at you, concerned, and dries your tears with his thumbs. “You ok, Love?” he asks a little worried.

You nod. “I’m just a little overwhelmed. I never thought I’d hear anything like that from a man after what I’ve been through. I don’t deserve it. He told me no one would ever love or want me because I can’t bear children” You reply, looking down at your hands.

“Sweetheart look at me,” he tells you gently as he cups your face. You look up into his handsome face, “you deserve my kind words more than anyone else I know. Remember what Graham and I told you, ignore everything your asshole ex ever told you. His words are poison. Don’t let it affect you.

I know you don’t believe yourself to be beautiful, or sexy, or desirable. I often feel the same way. I don’t understand what it is that people see in me. So, I get it, Sweetheart, it can be overwhelming to hear sometimes. Especially if we’ve been bullied or harassed and believe the lies they told us. But we still need to be reminded that people find us truly attractive and why they find us that way. It helps us heal when people tell us they love us, that they find us attractive, despite our insecurities. Ok?” he tells you. “In time, we start to believe it, the more we hear it from those who mean the most to us.”

You nod. “Thank you, Rich.” You whisper as you hug him around the neck.

He smiles and returns the hug. “My pleasure, Love. Now are you ready to face everyone downstairs who will most likely be hungover and hangry?” he asks.

You groan and he chuckles. “Come on, you can help me make breakfast and I’ll get you something for the headache.” He tells you as he kisses your lips in a breath-taking kiss.

You grin and return the kiss. You both groan when you hear someone holler up, “Rich, you awake up there?”

He chuckles and the two of you move to the door of his room. You look in the mirror again and groan. “I need to wash my face before going anywhere and comb out my hair.” You say as you pull your braid around your shoulder to look at how frayed it is.

“Ok, Love, there’s a bathroom just down the hall there to your left. Don’t worry about your hair right now, I’ll lend you my brush and comb after we eat.” He tells you. You nod and he kisses you again, then heads down the stairs as you head to the bathroom to wash your face.

@fizzyxcustard​ @thetherianthropydaily​ @queenofmankind​ @emrfangirl​ @midnight-reader-morning-sleeper​ @daisy-picking-lady​ @spookybunny​

[hangrypa]

I can't sleep

I’m currently on vacation at a tropical resort, and my goal for this vacation was to do nothing PA-related.

I will not be achieving that goal.

A few hours ago, I was hanging out with a few friends at the infinity pool. Suddenly a young man rushed to the swim-up bar and frantically did a shallow dive into the water. A moment later, he struggled to the surface with his unconscious friend.

I swam over and helped the rescuer and his friends lift the unconscious man onto the bar. My friends searched for the nearest cell phone.

I jumped onto the countertop of the bar and found a strong pulse at the man’s carotid. The bartender and another patron were pounding frantically on the man’s chest, and I told them to stop.

“He’s not breathing!”

“But he has a pulse! Stop hitting his chest!”

At that moment, the man started spewing water and took a breath. By now the swim-up bar was crowded with patrons who were trying to be helpful, but most were too drunk to be of assistance.

“My husband’s a doctor! He’s coming!”

I looked out to see an older man slowly, reluctantly, moving into the water.

One of the patrons called out, “Doctor! What do we do?!”

“You’re…doing great.”

I looked back to the unconscious man and grabbed his legs. “Roll him onto his side!”

The rescuer and his friends helped me as the man started coughing the rest of the water out of his lungs. On the narrow bar, he started seizing again.

“Doctor! What now?”

Silence.

Standard of care is that you don’t restrain a seizing patient. But given the circumstances (small bar, glass bottles on one side, 4ft of water on the other, a physician who clearly has not led a code in quite some time), I grabbed the man’s legs. “Hold onto him! Keep him on his side. Someone support his head!”

I looked toward the young man’s head, and another man was reaching into his mouth. “I don’t want him to choke on his tongue!”

I tried to warn him. “Don’t-”

And then the inevitable happened. The seizing young man clamped his jaw down on the other man’s hand. The well-intentioned man screamed, but there was nothing we could do to pry his hand out of the seizing man’s mouth.

Training tells me not to put objects in a seizing person’s mouth, but this crowd was too antsy to understand/comply with that. I looked for a object that the man would not choke on and also wouldn’t break the man’s teeth. I noticed a baseball cap on the bar. “Put the bill of that hat in his mouth!”

The unconscious man’s mouth relaxed briefly, and the other man was able to extricate his injured hand. Another patron placed the hat into the mouth just as the seizing man started up again.

I frantically scanned the bar for a clock, but I didn’t find one. Then I looked to see the bartenders standing to the side, staring. I looked at one. “Did anyone call 911?”

“I told them not to come because he was breathing again.”

“HE’S HAVING A SEIZURE!! CALL THEM BACK!!!”

“But-”

“WE NEED AN AMBULANCE. CALL THEM!”

The seizing man finally stopped shaking and stared into the air. I carefully walked along the liquor shelf and then grabbed his shoulder. “Hey! Do you know where you are?”

He stared some more, and then he said, “The Carribean.”

Thank goodness, he knew.

“Doctor! What do we do?”

The physician looked blankly.

I scanned the crowd. “Did anyone call 911?”

While someone in the distance nodded, the bartender said, “But he looks fine.”

“He could seize again.” I turned back to the young man lying on the bar. “How you feeling?”

The poor man started crying and apologizing. The physician’s wife took his hand, and the young man’s friend put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

I performed a basic neuro exam. He had no memory of the incident, but he was A&Ox3. His sensation, upper and lower extremity strength and pupillary reflex were intact symmetrically. He had generalized pain. We sat him up on the bar and moved him out of the pool. Even though we’re taught not to move a patient who just experienced a trauma, it wasn’t practical to keep him at the swim-up bar in the event that he had another seizure.

Once on land, I sat with the young man, his father (the man who almost lost a finger), and his friends. I noticed the resort staff walk out with an AED and then turn around. This was 15min after the young man’s friend first noticed him seizing and drowning.

Where was the damn ambulance?

I chatted with the older physician. He was on the brink of retirement and in a surgical subspecialty, now mostly seeing patients in the outpatient clinic. It had been a while since he’d been in on a code.

He looked at me. “What do you do?”

Given my resort attire (low coverage bikini), I wasn’t really dressed the part. “I’m a hospitalist PA.”

The realization was evident in his eyes. “So this is your everyday.”

Not quite.

I looked back at the epileptic young man. While his father got the details of the incident from the rescuer friend, the young man stared blankly into space. I stood up. “How are you doing?” No response. “Hey, John Doe, how are you feeling?” Still no response.

I rushed over, and his father started tapping his shoulders and face. “Hey, hey! John, hon, can you hear me?”

The young man started mumbling. “I hurt. I’m trying to move, but I can’t.”

Where is the damn ambulance?

“Hey,” I put a hand on the guy’s shoulder. “EMS will be here soon to help. Hang tight.”

“I’m scared.”

“You got this, man.”

About 40min after the initial event, EMS finally arrived and took the young man (late teens, really) to the nearest hospital. Diagnosis: grand mal seizure. I’m going to check up on him tomorrow.

I’m supposed to be asleep because I have an early dive tomorrow, but there are several things about today that are on my mind: 1. Everyone’s immediate thought was CPR. Which is great, but the patient had a pulse. All that CPR would have accomplished in this situation would be needless broken ribs. Also, the compressions I saw today were essentially slaps on the chest. 2. I have been in on codes previously, but it was always in a fully-staffed and equipped hospitals, working with people who knew what they were doing, and I have never led one. When things like this happen in the world outside the hospital, it’s so different. 3. Reaching into the mouth of a seizing patient (or almost any patient) is a great way to lose a digit. Why did no one ever tell this to the father of a known epileptic? Also, CDC recommends AGAINST putting something in the mouth of a seizing person. I knew this, but I had someone put the hat in because of the circumstances (sometimes the best way to manage a panicked crowd is to give them a task and make them feel useful; I also knew the patient wouldn’t choke on the hat). 4. I initially had some trouble asserting myself. I couldn’t say, “Hey, I’m a doctor!” which almost instantaneously lends all authority in the situation. I also was dressed like I was on college spring break. It took some effort, but once I started taking charge and faking the confidence, people started to follow. 5. The teenager could have died. Everything was far from perfect, but we eventually got the general idea, and he made it. We could have fucked up majorly, and he could have died. 6. Why did it take 15min to find an AED? Granted, the patient didn’t end up needing one. But so many larger, older people visit this resort, many of them just one hamburger away from an MI- and it took FIFTEEN MINUTES to find an AED?! 7. FORTY MINUTES FOR AN AMBULANCE?!?!?!

On that note, I really should try to sleep.