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whiteqnn · 4 years ago

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Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

Summary: Sean invites one of his good friends - Y/N - to play with him and the group. She has a lot of fun with them, but at the same time is too oblivious, too nice, and too pure to notice that one particular Among Us player has taken a liking to her the moment he heard her voice...

Notes: Hello everyone! This is the very first time I’m publishing something bigger in here, I’m honestly still figuring out how Tumblr works, even though I’ve had this account for quite some time now 😅. That being said, please don’t expect anything super impressive. I tried my best though just so you know. 🥺

A/N- It didn’t turn out as I expected, but I really hope at least some of you find it enjoyable :(

Y/C/N - your channel name

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

PURE [1]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix asked, as the number of players still showed just 7 of them. They could just start now, but the game would be way more fun with a full lobby.

“Yeah, Lily’s joining. I just texted her the code, so she should be here at any moment.” Sykkuno replied after receiving a text message from the said girl. “Oh, and Corpse also said he’d be joining soon.”

“Great. Anyone else?”

“I think Jack was also bringing someone, right?” Dave asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I have one coming, she’ll join us in a few” the asked man replied at the same moment Lily’s character appeared in the lobby.

“Who you’re bringing Jack?”

“Y/N” he said, causing Felix to gasp in shock and yell into his mic:

“How the fuck did you manage to convince her? I’ve been bugging her about this game for the past week and she always had some excuse!”

“What can I say, my charm is irresistible” Jack replied nonchalantly, causing everyone in the lobby to laugh at his fake deep voice.

The number of participants changed to 9, as a little black astronaut with horns on his helmet appeared in the lobby.

“Corpse, you’re here!” Rae’s character ran up to the man, circling him excitedly.

“Hey man!”

“What’s up, Corpse?”

“Hello everyone” his deep voice sounded out “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“All good man, we’re still waiting for one person.” Felix reassured him “Sean, why is she not here yet? Are you sure you’ve sent her the right code?”

“Of course I am!” he all but shouted at Felix “And about that, she just texted me to give her a few more minutes and that we should start without her.”

“We can just wait, right?” Lily offered, earning a few hums of approval from the others.

“I think it might take a little longer than a few minutes, she has some problems with her microphone.”

“Who are you guys talking about?” Corpse asked, completely unaware of who Jack was referring to.

“Wait, Jack, you mean Y/N from Y/C/N?” Sykkuno asked suddenly, only then realizing why this name sounded familiar

“Yeah, the one and only” Jack replied, a smile evident in his voice.

“Oh my god, I love her videos!” Rae exclaimed at that “She’s so funny and sweet!”

“Yeah! Her new video is so freaking cute, I wish she’d upload more often.” Poki agreed.

“Right?” Jack said, clearly very proud of his friend. “But don’t let that sweet demeanor fool you guys cause she’s one of the best players I’ve encountered in this game.”

“That’s true, she’s a secret big brain genius” Toast confirmed, making Pewdiepie gasp once again.

“wHAT??YOU TWO PLAYED WITH HER?!” Felix’s offended voice boomed through everyone’s headphones “HOW DARE YOU. HOW COULD YOU NOT INVITE ME?!”

“That’s for not inviting me to your latest Cringe episode!” Jack was quick to respond, making others in the lobby laugh at their mini fight.

“Oh, so that’s where I recognized her from!” Sykkuno nearly shouted when he finally put two and two together. “I can’t wait to meet her, she seems like a really nice person.”

“She is! When she got impostor for the first time she refused to kill me” Toast explained, earning himself a couple of Aww’s from his friends. “So we just ran around the emergency button until I called the meeting and voted her off.”

“Yeah, only to be her first victim in the next game.” Jack all but giggled, clearly very amused at the memory of Y/N going into a full berserk mode. No one except for him and Toast knew how good she really was at this game...

“She’s basically the wolf in sheep’s skin” Felix concluded with a chuckle “Very soft wolf, however.”

“She’s like the complete opposite of Corpse, both in voice and personality” Jack suddenly said, making Felix laugh wholeheartedly at something only two of them understood at the moment.

“I don’t know how should I take that” Corpse admitted with a chuckle. He remained silent for most of the conversation since he didn’t really know who the guys were talking about. But he would lie if he said he wasn’t intrigued by this girl at least in the slightest. Although he heard about her channel, he hasn’t seen any of her videos, so he didn’t really know what to expect. But hearing what gamers like Sean and Felix said about her, he knew he’s not gonna be disappointed once the girl joins them in the game.

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N talking.” Felix said suddenly with a seemingly very amused voice.

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N both being Impostors” Toast said, which resulted in many of them shouting over each other at how crazy that would be.

“Alright, now that you mention this I start fearing the moment two of them meet” Jack confessed with loud laughter following the sentence. Corpse chuckled deeply under his breath, at the same time glancing at the questions his audience was asking him in his stream. He could hardly read any, as there were quite a lot of people asking, so all he saw was just a bunch of comments moving at the speed of light in his chat. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was slightly nervous, seeing the growing number of people watching his stream. It was still a rather new thing to him, and he feared he'd say something inappropriate, or just make a complete idiot out of himself.

"At least no one can see me..." he mumbled under his breath after muting his microphone.

"Oh! Y/N just texted me! She's joining the call right now!"

"Fuck yeah!" Felix shouted excitedly "Just so you know Jack, I won't forget that you two played without me."

"Uh-oh. Is that a threat? Are you threatening me now?"

"It's a warning" Felix replied, receiving a series of gasps from other players. "If I get impostor, you're the first one on my list."

"Okay, everyone heard that! You know who to vote off when I'm dead!"

"It's so cool to play with someone new, I wonder if she's as good as you guys depict her" Sykkuno spoke up, but before anyone could answer his question, a new character popped up in the lobby.

***

"Hi everyone! I’m sorry I left you just like that, but this stream would be completely useless without me being able to answer your questions. Fortunately it wasn’t anything serious, I just had to readjust my mic and go through the settings to find what was wrong. Took some time, but here I am now!” Y/N chirped into her microphone, smiling apologetically at her webcam. At the moments like this, she really appreciated how supportive her audience was. No one was hating on her when she had to get off the stream for a couple of minutes, and everyone was just so understanding that it made her heart melt. Perhaps her audience wasn’t very big, but it felt almost like a second family to her.

“Anyway, as you already know from my twitter, today I’ll be playing Among Us with my friends and their friends! I can’t wait if I’m being honest, last time I played this game was so much fun, and there was only a few of us.” she admitted with a genuine smile on her face. “Let’s just text Sean now so we can get into the lobby...”

Y/N: Ready to play with you guys ^^

Jackaboy: Great! You got that mic fixed already?

Y/N: Yes, everything is fine. I’m sorry you had to wait so long.

Jackaboy: It’s all good kiddo, no worries. I’ll call you and send you the code in a sec.

Y/N: Perfect, thank you Sean :)

Jackaboy: Btw, everyone can’t wait to meet you ;-)Y/N stared at the screen for a moment, only now, seconds before joining the group, realizing how nervous she felt. From Sean’s tweets she saw earlier, she figured that the lobby was right now full of many famous streamers, those she wouldn’t even compare herself to. It’s not that she thought of herself very low, but... being among such youtube celebrities like them made her panic a little bit. She didn’t want to look like a complete fool amongst them.

Playing or recording with Sean and Felix was something else because she knew those guys for years (and yet still sometimes found herself thinking how lucky she got to be able to call them her friends). She felt good in their company, not worrying about choosing the right words. But amongst the rest of the players, she knew only Toast and talked with Rae maybe once in her life...

What if the rest won’t like her?

Y/N cleared her throat, realizing that she was still staring at her phone like hypnotized and her audience was already asking her what’s going on. She quickly typed in the code Sean had texted her and readjusted her headphones, before joining the discord chat.

“THERE SHE IS” screamed Sean, making her grin from ear to ear, hearing how excited he was “Little wonderchild!”

“I think you meant little TRAITOR” Felix corrected him with a scoff. A silence settled in the lobby as everyone was waiting for Y/N to speak up.

“Um... hello everyone..” she said softly, almost inaudibly, a sudden wave of shyness taking over her. “I’m Y/N”

“Oh, you were right about that Corpse thing!” replied another, also very soft and very sweet voice, and Y/N saw the image of someone named Lily pop up. “It’s like the exact opposite!”

“See? Told ya. Everyone, meet Y/N/N, the little angel from Y/C/N.”

“Hey Y/N!”

“Hi there!”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“H-Hi, so great to meet you, Y/N!” a very friendly sounding voice said, and a little lime astronaut with the name Sykkuno above it started running around her. “Can’t wait to play with you!”

“That’s so nice, thank you” she replied with a wide smile on her face, moving around his character as well. “I can’t wait to play with you too, actually with all you guys. It’s so great to be here with you.”

“Jack I swear she’s the cutest little thing I’ve ever heard. Where the hell did you find her?!” Poki all but yelled at the man, making Y/N giggle to herself and in-process loosen up a little bit. They all seemed like someone she’d happily be friends with.

“Or rather, where do you get one?” someone else commented, making them all burst into laughter, Y/N included.

“Guys, what did I say about that sweet demeanor...” Jack said after calming down from his fit “Don’t put your guard down just because she sounds like that!”

“Wait- what did you tell them about me?” Y/N asked confused, the tone of her voice making him laugh even more “Jack!”

“Don’t worry, only the good stuff” a very deep, low voice spoke up, leaving her taken aback for a moment. Her eyes widened slightly and she glanced at the name of that person, reading out CORPSE. Now that’s something she didn’t expect...

“Corpse, mind your manners! You didn’t even introduce yourself!”

“Oh, shit- yeah, sorry. Um, I’m Corpse, it’s very nice to meet you Y/N” he replied right after, making her lip corners curl up into a smile.

“Nice to meet you too Corpse, you have a really pleasant voice.” she spoke sweetly, completely unaware of the chaos that was taking place in her stream chat. She didn’t even think of it the way her audience did, she just simply spoke up her mind, and being an incredibly nice person - turned it into a compliment.

“Oh- wow. I mean, thank you so much. I love your voice too, it’s really sweet” he replied, nervously chuckling at the end, before muting his mic. It was, however, enough for Felix and Sean to start teasing him, as the two immediately screamed:

“SIIIMP!!!”

“It’s the voice Felix, I told you he’d fall into her trap!”

“Wait- he was just being nice, guys! Stop making fun of him” Y/N immediately defended the man, trying to speak up over the hysterical laughter of the other players.

“Oh my god, but what if they both get impostors and they both pull the voice cards on us?!” Rae managed to yell through all the noise, making Y/N even more confused.

“Wait, what? What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

“Don’t worry Y/N, that’s how I feel all the time around them.” Sykkuno seemed to be the only one who heard her question, as the rest continued their gabbing without giving her as much as a glance.

“Alright, let’s start the game maybe. I might have a few old scores to settle” Toast cleared his throat theatrically, his astronaut coming face to face with Y/N’s.

“Oh, you mean me? I thought I already apologized!” she replied frantically. “You gave me no choice Toast, I didn’t even want to kill you in the first place...”

“BUT YOU DID. IN THE VERY FIRST ROUND”

“I’m sorry!”

“Alright, enough! Toast, just don’t kill her right away, okay? Let her run around the map, fearing for her life for a moment.” Y/N gasped upon hearing Jack’s words, clearly sensing the smirk behind his voice.

“Wha- Jack?! Since when are you against me?!”

“Don’t worry Y/N, I won’t let them hurt you. You haven’t played with us yet, I’ll protect you.”

“Oh, thank you so much Sykkuno! I’ll protect you too!”

“Great. Another one simping...” was Felix’s last words, before the game began.

Y/N sighed in relief upon seeing the word crewmate forming on her screen, but at the same time feared Toast’s inevitable revenge. She thought they'd already buried the hatchet, but it seemed that he was desperate to make her pay for the last time they played together.

“Aw, Sykkuno was serious” she mumbled with a smile, when his lime astronaut started circling her white one, so she would follow him. “Okay, let’s do some tasks.”

They both made their way towards the medbay, Sykkuno patiently waiting nearby as she did the scan, then Y/N waiting for him to do the same. The moment his little character stepped towards her, a meeting was called by none other than Felix.

“What happened?” Rae asked.

“I called the meeting because I’m afraid of Jack” he responded, causing everyone to laugh. “Seriously though! Dude’s been following me around the whole time.”

“I was just making sure nobody kills you.”

“Yeah don’t go all Sykkuno on me!” Felix screamed, making the call erupt into even more laughter.

“Alright, are we skipping?”

“Yeah.”

“Guys, my life is in danger!” Felix wouldn’t give up. “Come on, show some support! Y/N? You played with him, you know his techniques!”

“Sorry Felix” Y/N giggled, clicking the skip button.

When the next round began, Sykkuno was quick to join Y/N on her way towards admin, where they both found Poki doing the upload. They did the card swipe and left her there, when the lights suddenly went off.

“Uh-oh. Let’s head the opposite direction, Sykkuno” the girl murmured, dancing around his character and heading towards Comms instead of going to Electrical. It was the easiest way to die, after all.

Once they entered the room and waited for someone to fix the lights, Y/N could see another figure appear in the same location. She couldn’t recognize whose character it was, but upon seeing the horns on the helmet she smiled to herself.

“Hey there, Corpse” she said, walking up to the black astronaut, who was standing still in the same place as if he was just watching her and Sykkuno run around Comms instead of doing their tasks.

They stood like that for a couple of seconds until Corpse turned around and ran away, and that’s when the first body was reported.

“Oh no, Jack!”

“Poor guy. He’s gonna haunt us now.”

“Where’s the body?”

“Navigation” replied Rae, who was the one to find Sean’s green astronauts’ body “Didn’t see anyone around, but I’m pretty sure someone just vented right in front of my eyes...”

“Any suspicions?” Toast asked.

“Um, not really sure, it was the exact same moment the lights went off. I was doing tasks with Jack and then he just died. I only saw the vent close, nothing or no one else.”

“Okay, where are you guys right now?”

“I’m in admin with Dave, we only passed Poki when we got there.” Lily’s voice sounded out, quickly being joined by Poki’s explanation.

“Yeah, I was finishing the upload when you guys came in, Y/N and Sykkuno saw it”

“Did you see her?” Toast asked, addressing his question towards the white and lime astronauts.

“Yes, we were doing the card swipe before going to Comms. Corpse joined us for a moment and then left.”

“Yeah, I was on my way to fix the lights when I stumbled upon them in Comms, the body was reported the exact moment I left.”

“Can someone confirm this? I mean, did someone see you besides the two of them?” Toast continued his questioning.

“I think I only saw Felix in Medbay.”

“Hmm, so no one really knows where you were this whole time. You could easily lure Jack into Navigation and kill him there. Is that what you did, Corpse?”

“Woah, that’s some serious accusation” Corpse replied in his usual, low and calm voice. “Where were you Toast? You seem the only one who still doesn’t have an alibi”

“Neither does Felix.” Y/N spoke innocently, and the mentioned man quickly started his explanation.

“Okay, I was with Jack at the beginning but he clearly can’t confirm this since someone snapped his fucking neck. We’ve split up in O2 after doing our tasks and then he must’ve gone with Rae. I just wandered around the map, escaping from the death.”

“Hmm, so not only were you one of the last people to see him alive, but you also admit to not doing your tasks” Y/N said, trying her best to keep her voice steady and stop herself from laughing. She was sure Sykkuno was doing the same thing, they both refused to do any tasks after the lights went off, after all.

“Yeah, but does that already makes me an Imposter? I’m just scared for my life, that’s all.”

“Y/N has some good logic, but I’m not really sure it’s Pewds. I mean, I saw him in Medbay and he really seemed to be just jogging around.” Corpse said, his voice almost immediately doing its magic, as people more or less willingly agreed to skip this round as well.

“I think it’s Felix. I mean, I haven’t played with him yet, but I have this feeling that he’s just acting.” Y/N said to her chat after muting herself. She went towards Weapons to do another task, seeing Sykkuno’s little character follow her once again, but the doors were suddenly locked and his lime astronaut remained in Cafeteria. “Oh no, Sykkuno” she sighed with a pout on her face, deciding against waiting for him and risking getting her neck snapped. She finished her task in Weapons and moved towards another location, when suddenly Corpse appeared in front of her, coming right out of nowhere.

“Oh- Corpse, you scared me to death” Y/N breathed a laugh, watching as his character stood still for a couple of seconds, before circling around her white astronaut. Y/N nodded her head with a smile, even though he couldn’t see her, and followed him in Shields, where they found Poki’s dead body.

“The body is in Shields” Y/N replied right after reporting the body, only to gasp in shock when she realized more than one person was killed. Red crosses decorated not only Poki’s name but were also visible next to Dave and Lily.

“What the hell?!” Felix all but yelled into his mic, obviously shocked just like everyone else who was still alive.

“Now that’s... a lot of bodies” Sykkuno mumbled under his breath.

“Alright, who’s in Shields? Y/N, you said you found the body there, which one?”

“Poki’s, Corpse was there with me” her reply was followed by his short and low hum.

“Sykkuno, where are you? I didn’t see you anywhere since the last round.” Felix asked, clearly accusing the lime astronaut of being a murderer.

“I was... doing the wires in electrical, Toast was there for a moment as well.”

“Yeah but I was only searching for the body, so I saw you maybe for a second” Toast replied, building even more suspicions around Sykkuno.

“But- guys, you know I wouldn’t kill two people in one round, let alone four of them.”

“No one says you did that, I only mentioned that you were nowhere to be seen. You could’ve been sabotaging the map for the other Impostor” Felix said nonchalantly.

“Guys, I-”

“It’s him! It must be him!” Rae shouted through her mic.

“Sykkuno is 100% innocent, I can vouch for him” Y/N’s voice sounded out in everyone’s headphones “We were together since the start of the game and he didn’t kill me, even though he had quite a number of chances to do so.”

“Weren’t you with Corpse this time?” Felix asked suspiciously.

“I was! But at the beginning, I was with Sykkuno, until someone locked him in Cafeteria. That’s when we split up.”

“And you haven’t seen him ever since?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then I can assure you it was only a matter of time before he’d stab you in the back” Toast concluded, making Sykkuno gasp in confusion.

“Wha- No, I would never do that! Y/N is our guest, I was just making sure she was okay!”

“Sykkuno, simping won’t save your life right now”

“Wha- I- Guys!” he tried to stutter out some logical explanation “Y/N, don’t believe them!”

“I don’t, I know you’re innocent! C’mon guys, he wouldn’t do it!”

“Yeah yeah, let’s kick him out. Corpse, who are you voting?” Toast asked, and Y/N could see the I voted sign next to his character.

“I kinda feel like Felix tries to shift the blame onto Sykkuno. He didn’t even tell his location, and was already throwing accusations on someone else.” Corpse replied after a moment, making the smile widen on Y/N’s face. Someone was finally on her side!

“That’s because he can’t even explain himself!” Felix exclaimed, voting as well.

“Besides, I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for whoever locked that door, Y/N would be dead as well!”

“No, I told you I-!”

“Guys, we have ten seconds to vote. Rae?”

“I think it’s him as well. He was acting suspiciously since we started this round. I vote Sykkuno”

“But..!”

“No, Sykkuno...” Y/N whispered with a pout on her lips, when she saw the number of people who voted for her lime friend.

Sykkuno was ejected.

“Alright, I’m pretty sure it’s Felix. I saw Rae multiple times and she didn’t kill me, Toast also doesn’t act very Impostor like, but maybe that’s just one of his strategies... Corpse is with me again, I don’t think that’s him, I mean, he followed me around last round, but still didn’t do anything, and even vouched for me and Sykkuno when we were both clearly chilling in comms. It can’t be him... right?”

Dead body reported.

“I just saw Corpse kill Toast, then vent!” Rae’s voice blared through Y/N’s headphones, as she looked in shock at the red cross next to Toast’s name. If not him, then..?

“What?” the accused man asked calmly “That’s a self-report, she’s trying to frame me. You guys can’t possibly believe her.”

“I believe her. I saw you enter the Electrical with Toast, then he’s suddenly dead” Felix said.

“That’s because she vented in there and killed him.”

“No! I swear, Y/N/N you have to believe me!” she directed her words towards the girl who remained silent during their discussion, processing her accusations over and over in her head. “I was fixing the wires, Toast was doing another task, and then boom! I see Corpse snapping his neck!”

“How could you see that if the lights were off?” Y/N suddenly asked, making Rae cut her own sentence off “No one went to fix them, they were off the entire round.”

Silence.

“It’s Rae, it must be her” Corpse couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly at how small was the mistake which completely blew Rae’s cover. “We’re voting Rae, right Y/N?”

“No! Guys, I mean, let me explain, I-!”

Rae was ejected.

“Now that was something I didn’t expect. I would’ve never thought it was her, I even suspected that Sykkuno might really have been the other Impostor, but now... It’s just me, Corpse, and Felix. I’m clear, clearly, so it must be one of them. And since Corpse protected me for the past few rounds, there’s no other option than...”

Her eyes suddenly widened when the realization hit her, and she quickly turned around to speed towards the emergency button. Fortunately, no one was around to stop her from calling the meeting.

“Felix.” Y/N started, trying to contain her excitement and sound seriously “Where were you when Sean was killed?”

Neither Corpse of Felix said a word, as it was probably the last question they expected her to ask. Felix cleared his throat, however, and finally replied:

“Y/N, that was literally the beginning of a game. How am I supposed to remember what I did then?”

“Well” she said nonchalantly “I, for example, clearly remember the things you said even when we were in the lobby.”

“What are you implying?”

“Wasn’t it you, who told everyone that Sean was your number one if you get Impostor?” she asked with a wicked smile on her face. Felix was dumbfounded, he obviously didn’t expect her to pull that card on him, hell, he didn’t even know how she knew about it since she wasn’t even in the call at the time.

“FELIX” Corpse suddenly broke the silence, simultaneously breaking the said man from his train of thoughts.

“Okay, first of all- YOU WEREN’T EVEN IN THE CALL WHEN I SAID THAT” he yelled through his mic, making both Y/N and Corpse laugh, as it only confirmed their suspicions.

“See? You only proved my point.”

“Oh, fuck’s sake- I was just joking okay?!” he tried to defend himself, but hearing how he couldn’t even contain his own laughter anymore, it was clear he already accepted the defeat. “It wasn’t serious, god damn it!”

“You know what to do, Y/N” Corpse’s voice asked through her headphones, and surely, she knew exactly what to do.

“C’mon Y/N, that’s not fair! At least let me explain myself!”

“Bye Felix” she said in an overly dramatic tone before Corpse voted as well.

Soon enough, the sign VICTORY could be seen on her screen, which made her squeak and joy. This game was really fun, even though she was so scared of being killed first.

“I knew it! I knew you would figure out it’s him! That son of a bitch who murdered me!” Jack basically yelled out, clearly very happy about the result.

“Y/N, seriously now, how did you know I’ve said that?” Felix asked without even hiding his surprised tone.

“Let’s just say I might’ve stolen some of your viewers, Felix” she admitted, winking at her webcam, a new wave of comments landing on her chat. “Thanks guys!”

“Okay, that is rude and not fair!”

“It helped me win, so I’ve got nothing else to say” Y/N grinned from ear to ear, before muting herself for a moment to finally answer some of the questions from her chat, while the rest took a quick break to eat something or go to the bathroom.

She was halfway through telling the story of how she met Sean when she noticed she got a message from a private discord chat.

CORPSE: That was really impressive :)

Y/N smiled to herself upon seeing his text and quickly typed out the answer.

Y/N: Thanks!! I wouldn’t have done that without you though, you stood up for me and Sykkuno and all

Y/N: Also, thanks for protecting me from being murdered ^^

CORPSE: No problem, I knew you were innocent right away.

CORPSE: Anyway, good game, Sean was right saying that you’re one of the best players

She couldn’t help the blush that arose on her cheeks, it was very sweet of him to say that, even though she didn’t actually do much except for exposing Felix.

Y/N: I wasn’t an Impostor though, so you didn’t really see much :)

She watched the three dots beside his name, that signaled he was still texting. The chat was completely forgotten, but people seemed to quickly notice that small, shy smile on her lips, and the pink tint decoring her cheeks.

CORPSE: Okay, now I’m intrigued...

Y/N: Maybe we’ll both be Impostors one day ^^

CORPSE: Can’t wait for that to happen.

Soon enough, they returned to the lobby to begin another game. Y/N glanced at her chat for a second, and the moment she returned her eyes to the game, her jaw basically dropped.

IMPOSTOR was written in bold letters in the middle of the red screen, right above her name.

Corpse’s little character was standing beside her.

#corpse husband #corpse husband imagines #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse imagines #youtubers x reader #fanfiction #writing #imagine

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literaturehoeenergy · 4 years ago

Text

You’re Pretty

pairing: Corpse Husband x fem!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: i blushed heavily while writing this, js // a couple swear words

word count: 902

request: from @voidcaine

“Hi, sorry to bother you 🥰 I was just wondering if I could request a Corpse Husband x reader fic where the reader got kinda famous making dance tiktoks and a bunch of her fans convice her to try playing among us. So she somehow ends up playing with Corpse and it turns out he’s a fan and has had a crush ever since he first found her acc? 💕“

a/n: Requests are never a bother! I hope that you like this :) please let me know if you guys have any other requests!

I wasn’t really a gamer. I played The Sims every now and again, but nothing too serious. I started making YouTube videos not too long after my TikTok had gained a following doing makeup, dancing, and other things. I had gotten a lot of comments and tweets asking me to play Among Us, but I didn’t really know how to play or have anyone to play with. So I reached out to my friend Corinna to see if she had played before and if she would be willing to play with me.

She gave me the info for a game she had planned with a few people later that day and I tweeted to let my followers know that I would finally be fulfilling their requests of playing Among Us with the time. I spent the rest of my day scrolling through Twitter and listening to scary stories, narrated by none other than Corpse Husband, until Corinna texted me and told me to go ahead and hop on the Discord call. I joined quickly, kind of nervous to be meeting new people and playing a new game that required me to lie.

“Hey guys, this is my friend Y/N, she’s never played before so please go easy on her,” Corinna said.

“Hi, everyone,” I said quietly, adjusting my headphones on my head. Everyone said their hellos and went back to setting up their stuff the way they wanted. I took the time to start my stream and mute myself on the Discord call. “Hello all you pretty people, I am finally streaming a game for you guys! I’m playing Among Us with a few people who I’m sure you heard of because I know I have. We have Corinna, who you guys have seen on my channel, Toast, Sykkuno, Valkyrae, Edison, Faye, Sean, Felix, me, and the one I am most excited for -- Corpse.” The chat went insane when I said Corpse, as I expected.

I unmuted my mic on my Discord hesitantly. “How do you guys play this game so chill with so many people watching you? I only have like 20,000 and my hands are sweating.” I heard some chuckles from the call before someone answered.

“A lot of people watch you on TikTok, Y/N,” Rae said.

“Yeah but not live! What if I mess up and doing something dumb,” I laughed.

“That’s where I know you from,” a deep voice exclaimed. “I’ve seen you on TikTok.” Corpse.

“O-oh, yeah! Yeah, that’s where this all started.” Corpse has seen my TikToks? Everyone else said they’d seen me there or followed me on social media, which I thought was really sweet. “I’m also a terrible liar, so if I’m ever imposter, I’m sorry in advance.”

“You’ll do great, babe,” Corinna said sweetly. If she were with me, she would have patted my head, and I smiled at the thought. “Let’s get into it!” The game started and I let go a breath I didn’t know I was holding when “Crewmate” showed on my screen. Not much time passed before a body got reported.

“Can I ask a question?” I said quietly. They all agreed. “What the hell am I supposed to do for the thing with the hexagons?” There was light laughter before Corpse spoke up.

“You just have to click the red ones and it will clear.”

“Oh, cool. Thanks.” The meeting went quick since there wasn’t really any evidence, and we were back doing tasks. I noticed that Corpse was following me. “He’s either protecting me or he’s going to kill me,” I told my stream. “I’m stressed.” I did the hexagon thing and made my way to my next task, Corpse close behind. Another meeting got called and I took the time to ask Corpse what he was doing. “Corpse.”

“Yeeeeesss?”

“Why are you following me?” He giggled breathily and I grinned, glancing at my camera quickly.

“I’m protecting you, I can’t let you die.” I felt the heat rush to my cheeks as the call erupted in chaos.

“Why can’t you let her die?” Sean asked. I heard Corpse cough nervously.

“Uh, sh-she’s new, she’s never played.”

“Is it because you think she’s pretty?” Felix teased. I muted my mic on the call and squeaked.

“What is going on?!” I exclaimed

“So what if I think she’s pretty?” I gasped, slapping my hand against my forehead and staring at my camera. My chat was going insane. “She’s a good dancer, and she is pretty, I’m sure everyone thinks she’s pretty. I mean -- n-not that, uh, not that you’re like, regular pretty Y/N, you’re -- I mean -- ah, fuck.” Corpse’s mic went mute on the Discord call as he tried to collect himself.

“Uh,” I said quietly. “I’m, uh… I’m flattered.” The call was silent. “And I don’t really know what you look like, but I would put money on the fact that you’re pretty too, Corpse.” I muted my mic as soon as I got the sentence out. The amount of “awe”s in the call was kind of overwhelming.

“Y/N HAS A CRUSH ON CORPSE, AND CORPSE HAS A CRUSH ON Y/N THIS IS PERFECT!” Sean yelled.

“Hey, Y/N,” Corpse said among the chaos.

“Yeeeeesss?” I asked.

“Maybe we can talk without thousands of people watching us.” I was smiling so hard my cheeks hurt.

“I would really like that.”

#corpse #corpse x reader #corpse imagine #corpse fan fiction #corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband fan fiction #corpse_husband #stream corpse husband on itunes and spotify #and agoraphobic on youtube #e-girls are ruining my life #cat girls are ruining my life #white tee #miss you!#cabin fever #never satisfied

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dailytomlinson · 4 years ago

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While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.

The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”

Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.

It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.

“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”

Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”

He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

Too many incredible memories to mention but not a day goes by that I don't think about how amazing it was. @NiallOfficial @Harry_Styles @LiamPayne @zaynmalik . So proud of you all individually.

The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.

“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”

Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”

Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.

And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”

#telegraph uk #press #louis tomlinson #241120 #its FULL of stunts as telegraph usually goes #stunt mention #Eleanor Halls

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louistomlinsoncouk · 4 years ago

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“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, and his girlfriend, the model Eleanor Calder.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time to see his four-year-old son, Freddie, whom he shares with his ex Briana Jungwirth, a stylist. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

#louis tomlinson #24nov20

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hlupdate · 4 years ago

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“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, [...].

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, [...] “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

#louis tomlinson #241120 #lt livestream #e and f mentions from the journalist removed where there is [...]#nothing altered from louis #stunt mention #at the link

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kherohi · 3 years ago

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Newcomer’s impression of Nijisanji (October 2020)

When I first started watching Nijisanji clips at the start of October 2020, it only took me a few days to realize that there was no coming back - barring a life-changing event, there was no way I would stop watching them in the next few years.

I decided to go through the Nijisanji official website with my one-week’s worth of clip-watching and record my thoughts on each liver so that I would have something to look back on. My knowledge back then was completely based off the clips I watched, so it’s interesting to see how absolutely skewed some of my impressions were.

I also added some of my current thoughts now that I’m one year in. Maybe next year I’ll look back and wonder how the heck I ever thought some of these things.

Disclaimer: I’m not thinking too hard when I write this stuff. It’s opinion, not fact.

Below are the livers that I could recognize and name on the official website. I’ve kept the name as I remember them, so some of them might be nicknames depending on how I knew them.

(The entries were written progressively from one week to one month of starting to watch Nijisanji.)

Tsukino Mito: She’s the Iinchou! She seems to have been around for a long time. She’s very popular. Since she’s been around for a while, she has inspired other people to join Nijisanji. One of these is Kenmochi Touya, who she self-proclaimed as her son. I don’t know much about her content, but she has a nice voice and it seems that she can sing as well.

I didn’t yet know just how influential she was, but I knew enough to include it in the description. Although I don’t really watch her, I do occasionally check out clips and it’s interesting to see what she comes up with.

Himawari: She’s cute and stupid! In the Dokuzuhonsha family she’s the older sister. She’s very positive. Though I’ve seen her often in collabs, I haven’t seen many clips of her own content. I can’t add much except for her airheaded-ness. She has great sibling interactions with Kuzuha.

This description was clearly based on watching Dokuzuhonsha clips, haha. But I still agree about her positivity! Now I think of her as hard-working and very kind!

Sasaki Saku: She is well-known for her panda outfit, but she has different outfits now. She can be quite ruthless... though that’s a common trait among Nijisanji livers. Although I can’t think of anything in particular to say about her, I do like her and if there’s an interesting looking video with her, I’d like to click it.

Why did I have an image that Nijisanji is ruthless? For that matter, I wonder what clip gave me the impression that Sasaki is ruthless. Well, she can be blunt and a bit of a brat.

Kuzuha: This famous guy. He’s a vampire - he’s lived for a long time. He’s socially awkward and makes sudden non-sequitors in his solo streams. He forms a unit called ChroNoiR with Kanae. He sings by himself and with ChroNoiR. In the Dokuzuhonsha family he’s the younger brother. After collabing with Ritsuki and the awkward conversations that ensued, the weather deck was created. His video thumbnails mostly look the same (red). His streams primarily have to do with gaming. He’s fun to watch and he’s good at games.

I pretty much agree with this one. I watched a lot of Kuzuha clips in my first week, so the impression was pretty accurate. Congrats on 1M subscribers! He’s going far!

Kanae: He’s a person that bullies people in a comedic way. Lots of people like him, but they are understandably wary of him because he has a tendency to use his friends as bait. He has a psychopath side that he plays up to scare others. He’s very calm most of the time, but can get heated in FPS. His character is someone with amnesia. He’s never uncomfortable - he can take things as they come. He’s friends with Kuzuha. He’s also very good at games. He can lie with a straight face. I really like his videos. I’d like to watch more. His cat plush is Roto.

There were definitely a lot of clips of Kanae playing pranks on people. It ended up being half of this description lol. I can’t say it’s wrong, but there’s certainly more to Kanae than pranks. Now he gives me a feeling of motivation for self-improvement.

Lize: I’ve seen her in a few collabs. I like her design. I haven’t seen her enough to form a proper opinion and haven’t started diving into her content at all. She’s cute though and I would be interested in seeing what she does.

I still haven’t watched her too much even after all this time, but now I have the impression that she has interesting talks. Also, she likes Mito.

Ange: I’ve seen her a few times. Not a huge impression, but she seems fun and plays off well with others possibly? I would be interested in watching more of her.

“plays off well with others” - she’s a bit awkward, but that makes it more fun to watch. Her interaction with male members is funny to watch.

Shiishii: She’s cute! a cute voice too! I don’t think I’d watch her solo, but I think she would be good in collabs. I don’t know much about her.

Kinda rude to say I wouldn’t watch her solo? Though true enough, I have just been watching her in collabs. Too many livers in Nijisanji. >_<

Utako: I saw Mayu look through her profile, so I know about her love of BL, shota, and all degeneracy like that. Any video with her about those topics are bound to be fun. That’s what I like about Nijisanji! Shotacon allies with Akina.

I’ve only come to learn more about her degeneracy, and it’s consistent with my expectations. I only hear about them on the side though - haven’t gotten to the point of actually watching the streams.

Ryushen: Gender: unknown. Ryushen is cool, though I haven’t seen too much of them. I haven’t thought of watching any solo content for Ryushen. Probably would only watch if it was a collab with someone else I know.

I recognized Ryushen enough to think they were cool, but I didn’t mention singing at all!? How did I manage that?? Now Ryushen = good at singing and interesting content to me.

Ars: She is very very shy. She’s also cute though. She has a very cute voice. She seems to have a master-disciple relationship with Ex Albio based on Minecraft. Their interactions are very entertaining. Would like to see more of it.

There’s been some amount of Ebimaru content, past me would be happy - present me is happy. I watch her Minecraft streams occasionally. She’s really good at building stuff.

Yashiro: IT employee! A totally normal human. His streams seem pretty mellow... well, the only one I say was a fetish-adding dice game... But it was very fun! In the Dokuzuhonsha family, he’s the dad. He’s pretty conscientious and responsible. He also got drunk and fell asleep on stream. I like watching him, especially when he has fun with the other adults (Kagami, Chaika, Yumeoi)

I agree with this description. That fetish-adding dice game stream sure was fun. I’d nearly forgotten about it. I feel the need to mention rhythm games though.

Chihiro: She is very good at APEX. She was in a tournament with Kanae and Kuzuha as teammates and they got pretty far. She can be serious which shows how much she cares. She has a cute voice. I would click a video with if it looked interesting.

Chihiro = APEX. It only takes a week to figure that out huh.

Hoshikawa Sara: I know her from Minecraft collabs with Kanae. They’re like siblings. She’s always laughing. Her voice can be kind of annoying, but that’s the sort of annoying little sister vibe she gives me. She likes teasing people by calling them papa (Kanae and Yumeoi). When I watch her I know the tension will be high.

I still agree with this. The papa teasing is reserved for Yumeoi though. She has a lot of covers out though!

Kagami Hayato: CEO of Kagami Industrials/whatever company. Fans love giving him money. He gets easily flustered. He always speaks politely. He gets teased a lot and I like watching him as he gets teased and tries to stop it. He’s very pure. That all said, he does have a violent side (as expected of Nijisanji). In Ark, he wanted to start a war and really went all in for that. When he played Forest with Yumeoi, he got used to killing stuff. He also likes metal and has a great scream. I like how he is with the people he debuted with. He’s like a papa. He also sings and has model building streams. He’s not good at playing FPS. He feels a bit of rivalry with Chaika, but admires him. Also, Minecraft underground.

This description was just a dump of all the clips I watched about him wasn’t it? Haha, the first half is a good description still. I still like his voice and gap.

Debi Debi Debiru: A god? A devil? In any case, Debidebi Debiru is basically a religion? a cult? They are pretty small. They have a very unique voice. Beyond that, I don’t really know too much about them. They seem to have been around for a long time. A senpai to others.

What was I thinking when I wrote this? Well, now Debi is just a koala to me. A really impressive 3D though.

Belmond Banderas: This guy is a man among men. Awesome deep voice. He’s got a very cool vibe - I think lots of people must think he’s cool. I don’t know too much else. I’ve seen a few videos with him in them. His voice is so deep! He once had a collab with Sasaki Saku in Minecraft?

He’s not only cool, but nice too! But the strongest impression is still his voice.

Gundou Mirei: I know her mostly due to her ship with Kanda - GunKan. She’s a teacher in the virtual world and real world. She was once found out by her students since she uses the same voice. She likes money. She’s a tsundere type. GunKan is a popular ship. Hoshikawa ships them and at least once pretended to be their child.

lol I don’t remember why I wrote that she likes money.

Mayuzumi Kai: His character is a hacker. His greeting is Domo. When he first joined Nijisanji he did streams where he read through the Nijisanji members’ profiles to get to know them. He was tied with Debidebi as best communication skills by Nijisanji staff. He’s got a really calm demeanor. Low energy. His English pronunciation is very good. He’s the type to play tricks on his colleagues, it seems (summer festival with the puff fish). He is a group called BLUE with Ars and someone else... Lize? I like what I’ve seen of him so far. He wants to be more popular with female viewers.

It started off well. Then Blues... It’s Uiha! Uiha is the third member! I clearly just picked a character with a somewhat blue colour. I also didn’t seem to be aware of the whole 2434 system thing yet. Now I see him as someone interesting and responsible. I sometimes listen to his zatsudan before sleeping since he has such a calm voice.

Hanabatake Chaika: He wears a maid outfit. He’s very eccentric. He references Jojo a lot. He’s on good terms with Kagami. He seems to be pretty successful. He even has his own card. His streams seem fun, especially his 3D streams. There seems to be a fluffy pink thing that he interacts with in 3D streams.

The mention of his 3D streams is good! Agreed!

Dola: A fire drake. In the Dokuzuhonsha family, she’s the mother. She’s good at singing and dancing. She’s weak to horror, but not as much as Kuzuha. Her famous quote is “o cha wo nomimasu”. She has a nice dynamic with Yashiro.

Another description that was written mostly based on Dokuzuhonsha clips, I believe. And the o cha wo nomimasu clip.

Joker: I only know him from the twister game. He seems to talk about dicks a lot?

I fell for the Joker reading. It’s Joe Rikiichi! Also, this is what happens when you try to describe someone with only one clip. Now he’s someone too cultured for me to understand. And he has a really good singing voice.

Ex Albio: The hero! He’s apparently quite lucky. He gives off the vibe of a main character who starts out clueless but gradually gets stronger. His Minecraft arc with his master Ars is very entertaining. His content seems to be very fun. I would like to watch more videos about him... In particular, I’m curious about his Minecraft house.

This is very based on Minecraft videos. But somehow I also knew about his luck. Recently, I have been enjoying his kusoge streams, so I definitely agree that his content is very fun. He somehow makes stupid games look so fun (I absolutely won’t play them myself though).

Kenmochi Toya: The lolicon master! Though it appears he’s also okay with shotas. He’s often shipped with Gaku as Togabito. He loves lolis. He does some skits with himself (Touko, Marshmallows). He’s an entertaining guy to watch. He made a bet with an artist vtuber and got her to make a loli stream. He’s good at tetris.

So much loli in this description lol. The shota mention is from Aki. That last comment about tetris is absolutely just from the clip with Shigure Ui. I’ve been watching more Kenmochi lately - he is very entertaining to watch. He keeps my attention easily when I watch him.

Alice: She seems to have been around for a while. All I know about her is that she’s learning how to play the acoustic guitar, so Kuzuha declared her as a guitar rival.

Now I know her as the liver that’s more popular on Bilibili than Youtube.

Saegusa Akina: His dream is to go to Budokan. He’s a huge Kanae fan and hangs out with him off stream often. He’s a shotacon. He sings well. He’s paired with Aizono to make Benizuwaigani. Their first meeting was very teetee and they ate cake and exchanged gifts on Christmas eve. Very teetee. He apparently calls Shellin master in Minecraft. I’m curious about that.

I pretty much agree with this, but there should be more emphasis on how good he is at singing!

Yumeoi Kakeru: He’s ranked 1st among Nijisanji staff for best communication. He’s very well-spoken. In Forest streams with Kagami, he shows off his psychopath side by happily killing all manner of living beings. He enjoys teasing too. He also sings. I don’t know much else, but I enjoy watching him.

Again, why is the singing an afterthought? His identity is singer songwriter after all. I also need to mention his machine gun speech though.

Kazaki Morinaka: She’s a loli but can also transform into an adult form. That’s the extent of my knowledge.

This is true. I mostly know her personality from Morigusa collabs and I also like her singing now too!

Ibrahim: The oil prince. He’s a merchant type. He likes money. His place is Minecraft has elaborate architecture. He sometimes plays with Kanae and Kuzuha which is where I first saw him. He joined the Alpha Slayers in ARK after some water disputes. He’s a pretty interesting guy overall. He’s got text-to-speech for his superchats.

I really like Ibrahim now! He’s seriously a really nice person. He’s also somehow able to be really cute! I like how his streams are straightforward and interesting. I like how he interacts with his viewers too. He gives a close sort of feeling.

Melissa: I saw a video with her playing FPS with Kanae maybe? But I don’t remember much about her.

Whoa! How is there not a single mention of singing?? Also that was probably the clip with Kuzuha I was thinking of. But no singing???? Now, it’s pretty much all that I know her for. Her singing voice is actually amazing!

Fuwa: His character is a host. He can sing well. I’ve listened to his Call Boy? a bunch. I actually haven’t watched many of his videos, but would like to look into him more eventually.

I’ve gotten hooked on Fuwa! So I’ve definitely looked into him more! I still really like Call Boy. I absolutely loved his 3D though! I watched it so many times! And I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve listened to the 3D live song clips that he uploaded separately. His personality is so good! His expressiveness and energy! I also really like how hard he tries and how he always tries to do his best to make his viewers happy. He streams so much that I can’t keep up with him too well though. x_X

Ririmu: She has a very unique voice. Her character is a demon or devil maybe. Something supernatural. She has a pairing with Uzuki Kou. I don’t watch her though, so I don’t know much else. She has a unique voice.

She’s a succubus! I’ve watched a couple of streams with her. Not enough to get a good grasp of her character, but Pacific Ririmu was hilarious! I got to see a lot of different interactions there, but considering the rules of the stream, it isn’t exactly reflective of her true interactions with others.

Ritsuki: She’s a very elaborate builder in Minecraft though she started as a beginner. Her character is an alien, so she experimented on stuff. She likes to create things that will be used by everyone like the summer festival location. She’s a good girl. A bit shy. It was during her collab with Kuzuha that he first used the weather deck. I’d like to see more of her Minecraft creations.

I haven’t seen much of her Minecraft still!! Her museum is really impressive though.

Shellin: His character is a detective. He looks cool. He seems good with people. For some reason he was a protected person in ARK and he got kidnapped by the Alpha Slayers. Shellin can be really loud which contrasts with his soft voice. He talks to himself even when alone. He’s funny to watch, but I can’t find many videos with him.

Right now, I’m looking forward to whatever he’s planning for the 3D debut. The most I’ve seen him is from the Iiheya netto radio. Or does narration for Lever Gacha count? I like his interactions with Kaida! In general I like how excited he gets.

Mashiro: I don’t know much of him other than the fact he’s male but looks as cute as a girl. And he did some kind of RTA for some action game?

He’s cute for sure. And he’s also always doing something horror-related.

Kanda: He’s very cool. He’s hardworking and honest. Though he might be best known for GunKan, my first encounter with him was a subbed clip of him talking with Mayuzumi about how he wanted to be more popular with female audiences and his interest in voicing BL. I admire his drive to improve himself. He also has a background with being bullied, dropping out of school, experiencing a terrible work environment, until he finally went back to school and enjoyed it everyday. Going back to GunKan, their interactions are very fun and there’s always so much energy in their interactions. It’s fun to see his eyes. Also, he’s friends with Mayuzumi.

Kanda is really cool. His control over how he presents himself is really impressive and almost scary. I can’t forget how in his presentation about how to speak clearly he said that you should always know what you want to say before you speak.

Uzuki Kou: I haven’t watched many videos of him. He’s a bit strange. He’s got a pairing with Ririmu. Together they are apparently pretty twisted. Beyond that, I don’t know too much about him.

I still don’t know too much about him, but he’s apparently good at speaking. Also nabe rap.

Shiba: The dog. That’s all I know.

The cute dog. Also has IRL stuff going on.

Aizono Manami: The other half of Benizuwaigani! She’s a maid. She’s really nice. She can put up well with others. She gives a big sister kind of feeling. I actually don’t know that much about her individually since most of what I see of her is in context with Akina.

I’ve seen her a bit since, but I can’t think of much else to add.

Fumi: I know her name and face. I feel like I should respect her for some reason, but I don’t remember. She is part of Sanbaka alongside Hoshikawa and someone else. She gets along well with Kanda. I don’t know much about her.

That last sentence there really couldn’t be more right! Sanbaka??? Neither of them have anything to do with that! I clearly somehow got it mixed up with Orihimeboshi somehow. What a mysterious entry... Now I know a bit about her from Fukeizai.

Nagao Kei: He’s loud and chaotic, but he’s also surprisingly smart. His loud voice is also good at singing. Actually, his streams are apparently very loud too. His voice is a bit nasally and it also sounds like Ibrahim’s voice. He’s very childish when he’s with VALZ, but with his senpai he’s more serious. He memorized the Keep talking and don’t explode manual. I want to watch that one. I also want to listen to his covers. I’d like to know more and more about Nagao Kei!

Nagao = sontaku. I have listened to his covers since and I’m interested in how far he’s going to take his lore. He comes up with a lot of unique stream ideas.

Gwelu Os Gar: A married man! He’s got a statue in Minecraft and Ark. He’s a fun guy in the collabs I’ve seen, but I don’t know much about him.

He’s somehow always involved in some interesting plan. Right now, I’m rooting for his 10-year-old PC. Endurance stream to 1M let’s go!

Suzuki Masaru: He’s a shota. He was once in a collab with Utako and Akina... that was interesting. He once came across Kanae’s slave ranch in Minecraft. Kanae was scary. Recently, I found out that Masaru has something to do with Kai Mayuzumi’s lore.

The shota that’s good at ASMR... that sort of introduction from the gasbag race is now imprinted in my mind. On the side, I also think of him as a member of Raindrops. I don’t think I’ve actually watched any of his streams (ASMR aside...).

Kasumi: She’s graduating. She’s involved with Mayuzumi’s lore.

She graduated right as I got started watching Nijisanji. I think I did see her very last stream back then.

Kaida Haru: He’s finally here! I’ve been very slowly adding to this, so it’s already be 1 month - almost - that I’ve been watching vtubers. Just about three weeks now. Kaida Haru is the one I decided to support. He has a good face and voice.

What about Kaida do I like? First of all I need to talk about his face and voice. He’s also good at guitar and singing and his taste in music is pretty similar to mine, so I know a lot of the songs he sings. His voice can be very loud and he plays with his voice a lot to make sounds. He’s bullied by a lot of people, but that’s just their way of getting along with each other. It shows how loved he is. He’s overall a really nice guy and he’s quite considerate. He can be serious too. Also, he apparently gets flamed easily.

One thing that makes me realize the passage of one year is the position of Kaida in this list. This list was ordered by the number of subscribers. Last year this time he didn’t even have 100k and now he’s got over 300k! It’s nice to continue supporting him for the past year, and I’m a happy fan. He does a lot.

Fushimi Gaku: He is friends with Kenmochi Touya and together they make Togabito. Some people ship them but they don’t especially like that. I don’t know too much about Gaku though.

Peace! I checked out OhaGaku once or twice and his Togabito stuff a bit. He feels like a nice senpai. Although I don’t really watch him, whenever I come across him (like in totsumachi) he always seems like a cool guy.

Aki Suzuya: I don’t know her

*him. Apart from Kenmochi’s obsession with him, I still don’t know him. I really, really like his cover of flos with Kenmochi though.

Kitakouji Hisui: She’s extroverted - very able to talk. I don’t know much of her. My image of her is from dogeza for breaking the lantern tree of Kaida.

She has a really cool adult form/outfit!! She also sings well. I think she’s interesting but I admit I haven’t seen much from her in the past several months.

Genzuki: This genius! He can sing, compose music, mix music, edit video, play games. He’s so powerful! Multiple instruments! Genius! He’s good at talking! Entertaining. I’m curious about the lore too. He also has a scary story about his memory. But I really like him. He’s got a very vocaloid-based library of music so very nostalgic! <3

I still admire his music so much! I’ve listened to all of his piano streams and they are very inspiring. His music stream lengths can go for a scary long time. Just listening to him talk is interesting especially when he talks about music.

Natsume: She seems nice. A good person. I know her most for the lantern tree story. She’s very cute. She just got a new outfit today.

I haven’t learned much else about her.

Kyoko Todoroki: I saw her in the singing relay. She seems nice, though I don’t know much about her.

Thanks to NijiFes, now I know she has a really good sense of fashion. And she can draw well. I haven’t seen much else of her though.

Gilzaren: I don’t know much about him, but his voice doesn’t match his model. He can also sing. I’ve listened to his songs.

I’ve managed to watch him live! It feels like an accomplishment. I’ve also spotted him in comment sections. It’s like seeing a unicorn.

Harusaki Air: The prince. He doesn’t stream much, probably because of his RL job.

I like watching him for casual streams. Since I know he has a day job, there’s a bit of a feeling of “casually playing games after work” that I like to imagine.

Naruse Naru: He does the voice drama club.

And he’s super good at Mario Kart! He’s also really cute and has a good voice. He’s been getting more popular! I still need to listen to some of the voice drama club - I’ve only listened to a couple.

Of course, there were a bunch of livers that I couldn’t name. Some are understandable, and others I wonder how I could have missed them.

Era Otogibara

Lulu Suzuhara

Kaede Higuchi

Roa

Toko Inui

Rin Shizuka

Mikoto Rindou

Rion Takamiya

Sister Claire

Kana Sukoya

Keisuke Maimoto

Rena Yorumi

Nui Sorciere

Meiji Warabeda

Machita Chima

Tamaki Fumino

Kokoro Amamiya

Furen E. Lustario

Petit Ratna

Fuyuki Hakase

Eru

Uiha Aiba

Tomoe Shirayuki

Levi Elipha

Ema August

Riri Yuuhi

Ichigo

Mugi Ienaga

Marin Hayama

Sou Hayase

Sayo Amemori

Eli Conifer

Youko Akabane

Mao Matsukai

Luis Camie

Moira

Naraka

Mahiro Yukishiro

Haruka Onomachi

Hoshizora Kirame

Yamagami Karuta

Miyako Seto

Hina

Momo Azuchi

Sango Suo

Rine Yaguruma

Kohaku

Akane Asahina

Tsumugu Kataribe

So here are my current day thoughts (very quickly written):

Era Otogibara: Graduated.

Lulu Suzuhara: Graduated.

Kaede Higuchi: Deron. She’s very rough. I mostly know her singing and the part that leaves an impression is the screaming. Also she did an anime OP.

Roa: I have only ever seen her through clips... Will she return?

Toko Inui: Super nice voice! She can sing live incredibly well!

Rin Shizuka: I get the impression she streams alone often? She does stream on twitch.

Mikoto Rindou: She is good at singing, she has a good voice (narration and speaking), she is athletic enough to dance and do a cartwheel, and she is cute. Even though I think all of this, I still haven’t really watched her, haha...

Rion Takamiya: Ojou. She’s pretty fun with Debi. I also like when she played around with Fuwa’s radio.

Sister Claire: Dogma is good. She has a very angelic voice. Our seiso representative in Nijisanji.

Kana Sukoya: Crazy smart. And how is she able to do everything she does??? Just doing nursing alone should be crazy, but to stream and sing and voice act too?? It’s only understandable that she decided to take a break to focus on her studies even though with the rate she releases content it doesn’t really feel like a break.

Keisuke Maimoto: He has some pretty intense stories (from watching clips). It feels like he’s someone with a lot of life experience.

Rena Yorumi: Magician! I like her! She’s got fun interactions in Minecraft and ARK. SMC is cute too.

Nui Sorciere: I don’t really watch her, but she plays RPGs a lot is the impression I have. Sorry, but I can’t help but think of “haitenakunaidesuka??”.

Meiji Warabeda: I know her best as a member of Raindrops. I don’t know much of her other activities as a liver.

Machita Chima: Freesia! No, but she has a really wonderful voice and a very cute design. I’ll tune into her utawaku occasionally.

Tamaki Fumino: Noraneko. At first, I would question the veracity of claims of her happenings, but now I’ve come to accept them.

Kokoro Amamiya: Dragon Girl. She’s cute and I like how she interacts with Kaida in contrast to that cuteness, haha.

Furen E. Lustario: Her design is very cool. She is really excitable which is fun to watch.

Petit Ratna: She does ASMR... I don’t watch her much, but my earliest impression is probably from when she invited Kuzuha in ARK.

Fuyuki Hakase: She can sing well. I really like her Gunjou. I don’t watch her actively, but I have had her minecraft streams play in the background before.

Eru: I am not going to even try her full name. I know her as a member of Raindrops. I’m sure there’s more to her, but I really haven’t watched much of her... I feel like I remember something APEX though... (You can say that about almost any Nijisanji liver though).

Uiha Aiba: Will she come back to streaming? What happened with the lore?? But her 3D debut was amazing and her constant singing and dancing covers are very impressive. They come out at such a pace that I haven’t been able to keep up so there are a bunch I haven’t seen.

Tomoe Shirayuki: She’s beautiful. All her MVs have really good art. Partly due to her 3D debut, I can’t help but think of her as an S...

Levi Elipha: She has a really powerful voice! And yet the gap with her normal speaking voice is so cute! The way she acts is also cute.

Ema August: She drinks a lot... for some reason that’s what I think of her. She has an adult form too.

Riri Yuuhi: She’s really cool. If you asked me for who the cool girl of 2434 is, it’s Riri.

Ichigo: I don’t know much about her. She doesn’t seem to be too active?

Mugi Ienaga: I don’t know much about her either. I’ve listened to some of her songs, but her part in Unknown Mother Goose is the one that I really remember.

Marin Hayama: Her mouth is always open in my mind. I wonder why? But I don’t know much about her. In the song werewolf I remember she had pretty dark lyrics.

Sou Hayase: She’s got a really cool singing voice! Apart from her singing, I probably see her the most in B-grade Variety.

Sayo Amemori: Another one who doesn’t stream much. I caught one of her streams live and I didn’t know what she was talking about. The quality of the video was really low though. Apparently that’s normal for her though, so I feel like I got the authentic experience.

Eli Conifer: She can play the flute. She went all out in the Koshien Siren tournament. She seems to do the thing where she duplicates herself to sing very well. Her voice is very cute.

Youko Akabane: I know her most for KanaeYou, but she seems like a nice person. Apart from those interactions, I see her sometimes in ARK clips.

Mao Matsukai: Very energetic! Her 3D debut showed off a lot of different appeal points. Her chat seems to like to bully her.

Luis Camie: A phantom thief?? She plays off well with Shellin. It’s fun to see their interactions, though I’ve only seen a couple. She has a bit of an airheaded kind of entertaining appeal.

Moira: The goddess. I don’t know much about her. She does seem nice and able to talk well. It looks like she gets along with her generation.

Naraka: Apparently her voice sounds like Maaya Sakamoto? I remember her singing is nice. She took part in VSaikyou I believe, but I don’t really watch her.

Mahiro Yukishiro: I recall she isn’t that popular, but I have heard some of her singing. I feel like I don’t see her stream that often?

Haruka Onomachi: She tries hard to appeal to English speakers. She also does ASMR. I don’t really watch her, but her on screen translator is interesting.

Hoshizora Kirame: I believe she’s good at drawing. I still don’t know much about her though.

Yamagami Karuta: A tengu! She has the image of being very pure though. I also don’t really watch her so I can’t say too much.

Miyako Seto: Photography club. She’s a fan of Kuzuha... but I don’t really watch her so I can’t say much.

Hina: She writes scripts. I don’t think she streams much at all anymore.

Momo Azuchi: She had a redesign at one point. I haven’t watched her.

Sango Suo: Absolutely amazing acting ability. I’ve seen a few examples where she acts with others and it’s very impressive. I haven’t seen her solo streams though.

Rine Yaguruma: I don’t know much about her.

Kohaku: Mela! is a banger. Unfortunately I don’t know much about her aside from that.

Akane Asahina: She’s been releasing a lot of high quality covers in high frequency and she makes a lot of effort to reach out to western fans. I’m not watching her, but I’m rooting for her success.

Tsumugu Kataribe: Library ghost. Will she ever stream again? (Have never seen her before).

#nijisanji

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sineala · 4 years ago

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The Old Guard

This post comes to you courtesy of the generous support of one of my Patreon patrons, who wanted to know what I thought of The Old Guard. This post contains some spoilers for both the movie and the comics.

So, a few days after it came out, my wife and I watched The Old Guard on Netflix. Tumblr had said a bunch of good things about it, and both of us basically cut our fannish teeth on Highlander fandom so we already had an automatic buy-in for a story about immortals. I knew it was based on a comic by Greg Rucka, but I had not, at the time, read the comic, although I am now reading it in order to write this post.

The premise of the film is as follows: a four-person team of immortals (Andy, Joe, Nicky, and Booker) makes a living hiring themselves out as mercenaries, fighting for causes that they believe are right. They are successful at this basically because their grasp of tactics appears to be (1) die, followed by (2) come back to life and (3) murder your attackers who are no longer paying attention to you because they think you're dead. Honestly, at this point, you wouldn't really need to be very good at the actual fighting part, I would think, but the film establishes that all of them are -- especially Charlize Theron as Andy -- because presumably it wants you to watch action sequences of everyone being badass, which they are. So, yeah. They take all the good-guy mercenary jobs that no one else can do because it would kill them, which is not a problem for them!

Anyway! The group's routine is interrupted by two major events: the discovery of Nile Freeman, a new immortal, who is a Marine serving in Afghanistan who survives getting murdered; and also the fact that one of their employers, Copley (played by Chiwetel Eijofor, whom you may remember as Mordo in Doctor Strange) has sold them out to the movie's Actual Villain, a Big Pharma CEO named Merrick (played by the guy who played Dudley in the Harry Potter series), who has (as far as I can tell) been given instructions to play this role just like he's Martin Shkreli, who is interested in finding the secret of their immortality, and whom you can tell is evil because he has his name in giant letters on the side of his building.

ME: Look, it's the villain! I've found the villain! MY WIFE: Other than Tony Stark, who actually puts their names on buildings like that except villains? It's just villains, right? ME: Uh. The president? The president definitely does that. (We make horrified faces at each other.)

Because we are Extremely Pedantic, we also spent a lot of time picking at how the characters' names and language abilities match up to their stated background. They all know a lot of languages, as you might expect, and the movie was determined to get through them without subtitles, which is an interesting choice but also kind of left some linguistic plot holes.

For example, Joe and Nicky claim to have met each other in the Crusades, with Nicky as (presumably) a Crusader and Joe as (presumably) a Muslim occupant of the area, although the movie doesn't specify this; Wikipedia gives Joe's name as Yusuf Al-Kaysani, which would at least fit that. Nicky is clearly Italian (as is Luca Marinelli, the actor who portrays him) and when he speaks Italian to the rest of the group we see that he definitely speaks modern Italian as spoken in Rome... which is absolutely, definitely not the language he grew up speaking, given that, among other things, Wiki lists the character's full name as Nicolò di Genova. I don't know if the writer of the screenplay (who I see now is also Greg Rucka) didn't know how much Italian dialects had changed in the last thousand years, if he thought that was good enough to be a nod to the character, or if there's some kind of backstory that didn't make it in where every so often Nicky decides to learn a modern dialect and keep his hand in, and also decides that that's the language he wants to use among his friends who would presumably understand several different dialects.

Also, the reveal that Andy's real name was in fact "Andromache of Scythia" was indeed badass but was slightly undercut by my wife yelling BUT THE SCYTHIANS DIDN'T SPEAK GREEK at the television.

Additionally, I feel like the movie could perhaps have been aware of the ways it chose to label on-screen locations, in which the countries were spelled out in large fonts with the cities above them. Places like LONDON, ENGLAND got their entire names spelled out, as did small French villages whose names I can no longer remember, but I guess AFGHANISTAN and MOROCCO and SOUTH SUDAN have zero cities, huh? However, the end of the movie did take place in PARIS which I guess unlike London is its own country now.

So the actual plot features the group of immortals trying to explain this whole immortality thing to Nile while being on the run from the people who are trying to turn them into Big Pharma, who wants to capture them and exploit the secret of their immortality. This is where it falls down a little for me, because the worldbuilding... gets a little shaky. They dream about each other when they're apart. Okay. Why? Sometimes they just stop being immortal and lose the capacity to heal and are dead in their next battle. Why? Why do they even exist? I just... wanted more answers than the movie gave me, and the pacing where I kept expecting there to be explanations wasn't there. There were a couple of scenes where Nile sat there in silence contemplating the fact that she would outlive her loved ones and my brain kept trying to insert Queen's "Who Wants to Live Forever?" Granted, the Highlander canon explanation for immortality is deeply, deeply weird, but at least it tried. No, I can't believe I'm defending Highlander II either.

The characters, too, could have been more fleshed out. The bulk of the character development is given to Andy and Nile, and I'm not complaining about that -- they were great -- but Joe and Nicky and Booker only got maybe a few lines each. They would have felt so much more real if they'd just had a little bit more to them. Also I didn't understand Copley's arc at all, but saying more about that would be spoilery. I do like that they have definitely set themselves up for a sequel.

But even with what we got, there's a lot to love about the characters. If you're here for canonically queer characters, you will enjoy Nicky and Joe, who have been in a relationship for probably about a thousand years. They are minor characters as far as the overall plot goes, but what they do have is lovely, and there is a romantic declaration between them at one point that is absolutely beautiful and possibly the most fervent love declaration I can remember seeing in a movie since maybe... ever. If you also like your queerness more subtextual, though Andy is never portrayed as explicitly queer, her past friendship with a fellow immortal Quynh was shown as very intense, as is the role she takes here mentoring Nile into the world of immortality. Also she has a double-bladed axe (yes, we kept yelling BRING ME MY MAN-KILLING AXE at the television) and as we all know, the double-bladed labrys has in modern times become a symbol for lesbians. So there's that.

In addition to the characters of color who play important roles here -- Nile was my personal favorite, but there's also Joe and Copley and (in flashback) Quynh -- there's a lot of diversity behind the cameras as well, or so the internet informs me. The director (Gina Prince-Bythewood) is the first Black woman to direct a superhero movie, and the same is true of her editor (Terilyn Shropshire). And, furthermore, apparently 85% of the post-production crew were women. They didn't have to do that, and yet they did. It was nice.

I don't watch a whole lot of action movies these days because I usually find R-rated violence too... violent, but I found myself really liking almost all of the action sequences here. None of them felt gratuitous, and a lot of them really focused on the physicality of the immortals fighting in a way I liked, because I feel like people are probably going to fight differently if they know they can survive every single hit, and I think the movie portrayed that in a way that a lot of superhero comics and movies don't. My favorite fight scene is definitely the one between Nile and Andy at the beginning, when Andy has trapped her on a plane and it's extremely close-quarters fighting and also extremely brutal. They don't stop basically until Nile breaks enough bones that she can't get up anymore, because until then she's going to keep trying, which is both kind of horrifying and a great character note. And they didn't film it like it was a Sexy Catfight! It was so good.

Also, the soundtrack is really good, and I've found myself streaming it on Spotify all week. I didn't know any of the songs in the movie, but there's a lot of hip-hop and -- okay, I don't even know if this is a genre? -- specifically a lot of hip-hop with an electronic/industrial sort of beat, which I thought was really great and livened up the fight scenes even more; "Going Down Fighting" did a really good job getting me in the mood for the final confrontation with the villain, and... yeah, it's all good. Someone made a playlist on Spotify that will come up if you search for it.

So, yeah. It's on Netflix. It's not without flaws (mostly, explaining how the hell immortality works, and a couple of pacing issues), but it's a really satisfying superhero movie.

That's the movie. Onto the comic, which I am just now starting to read as I write these words. Whee!

So The Old Guard: Opening Fire is a 2017 five-issue Image Comics series written by Greg Rucka, with art by Leandro Fernández, and there's also a 2019 sequel, The Old Guard: Force Multiplied, by the same creative team, also with five issues. I have not actually read any of Rucka's work before now because he is mostly famous for his DC work, but I have heard good things about it, especially his Wonder Woman run.

Anyway. The art is very stylized, with a minimal color palette, and it's very pretty but I honestly found it hard to parse sometimes. Many of the characters have very weird noses. Yes, noses. It's basically mostly in Andy's and Nile's POVs, like the movie, and as far I can tell Andy is explicitly queer, because unless I am entirely misreading this panel in issue #1, here she is in bed with a woman in one panel. Whee. Also there are some nice epigraphs at the beginning of each issue.

Okay, so, the plot here is basically the plot of the movie. There is still no explanation of why immortality exists. But even so, there are some fun character moments that didn't make it into the movie -- for example, Andy saying smartphones are too hard to use and she liked the old ones better, only for the rest of her team to say that she couldn't use those either. I think you get a better sense of Andy's world-weariness in the comic. There are also other, now-dead Immortals mentioned, like Noriko, who "went overboard off the Horn." Quynh is not one of them; Quynh basically is Noriko, which is because they cast a Vietnamese actress who asked if her character could be Vietnamese too, which seems perfectly reasonable to me. But anyway, in the comics, she's Noriko. Weirdly, Andy's full name, as she tells Nile when they meet, is Andronika ("man-victory") rather than Andromache ("man-battle," in case you were wondering); I think the movie made a better choice because Ἀνδρονίκα has exactly two attestations in the Lexicon of Greek Personal Names, whereas Ἀνδρομάχη has all that shiny name recognition of being shared by the wife of Hector and also the queen of the Amazons and will ping viewers as a Greek name, and therefore ancient, even if it can't be the name she was born with. (There are five for "Andronike" and four more for "Andromacha" so they actually have about the same number of total attestations, as far as I can tell, when you consider the alpha/eta alternation in how various Greek dialects mark feminine nouns.)

(Yes, you totally wanted a review by someone who looks up character names in the LGPN. Don't lie.)

Plotwise, Andy gets all of the initial exposition in for Nile before they get to the safehouse, which Copley has already gotten to before they get back, so Booker is bleeding on the floor and Nile doesn't get to meet Joe or Nicky at this time, and I am also glad they changed that for the movie. But, don't worry, Joe and Nicky's romantic declaration is still in here. We also get Andy pondering the last time she was in love, with a human who grew old.

Oh, and we get Andy's age: 6,732. And by issue #5 her name has changed to Andromache, because what even is continuity? I guess Andromache is her name now.

So Nile finally meets Joe and Nicky when she rescues them and also, uh, that plot point where Andy might die? Totally not a thing here. Nope. And no "surprise! even more immortals!" end-credits moments either.

Basically, I feel like every change they made to the script for the movie really strengthened the story, and even though I thought the movie could have used more character moments, it's way better than how the characters are separated for even longer in the comic. Nile rescuing the team means a lot more when she has met them before, you know?

So Force Multiplied starts us off with Andy, Joe, Nicky, and Nile, because Booker is still on time-out. They are in the middle of a car chase, and Booker's off getting himself kidnapped by someone who wants to know where the others are. The villain of the piece turns out to be Noriko, who is still alive, whom Booker had never had a chance to meet and apparently had never heard of. So, basically, a lot like the Quynh plot that the movie is teasing.

Overall it's a little less action-filled than the first one, which had multiple splash pages of nothing but violence; this one is a little more character-driven and explores the relationship, such as it is, between Andy and Noriko, as well as Nile coming to terms with her immortality, as well as with what everyone else has done over the years. It does have a bunch of violence at the end, though.

I don't want to spoil the ending, but I definitely wasn't expecting where that was heading. There's apparently going to be a third volume, and I am looking forward to it, whenever it exists.

(Although, now that I think about it, the ending is a lot like a fan-favorite moment of Highlander: The Series, but I think if I said which episode you would know exactly what the ending was.)

So, yeah! The Old Guard! I can't say as I feel particularly fannish about it -- there's nothing that makes me yearn to fill in the gaps in canon -- but the movie was really good and you should see it. And you should read the comics if you're into that.

#posts i actually wrote

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lt2archive · 4 years ago

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The former One Direction star and solo artist reveals his plans to manage woman rock bands, and tackles those pesky One Direction rumours

24 November 2020 • 4:05pm

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty. Tomlinson will also be donating money to his own touring crew, many of which have been out of work since March. “I've been incredibly worried about them and felt incredibly powerless, so wanted to give something back.”

The gig also means a great deal to Tomlinson on a personal level. His first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

Too many incredible memories to mention but not a day goes by that I don't think about how amazing it was. @NiallOfficial @Harry_Styles @LiamPayne @zaynmalik . So proud of you all individually.

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

Tickets for Louis Tomlinson Live In London are on sale tomorrow from 4pm

#lt live from london #nov. 24 2020 #press #the telegraph #nov 2020

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Ducktales Reviews: Let’s Get Dangerous!

The Duck Knight Strikes Again as our Darkwing Double Feature concludes! Scrooge, the Kids and Launchpad visit the fair city of St. Canard. While Huey tries to work out how the seemingly world changing project Scrooge is financing for researcher Taurus Bulba .. um.. works, Launchpad and Dewey visit Drake, whose struggling to find any crime to actually fight, but soon finds himself tangled up in the case of a plucky young orphan, her missing grandfather and Bulba’s dark secrets and soon Darkwing and his new family find themselves the only three people standing between the world and it’s untimely end. Let’s Get Dangerous with a full review with recap and spoilers under the cut.

It’s time! I’ve been obviously, being a fan of both darkwing duck, if only finally watching it in full now, and superhero stories in general, and this show having told some REALLY good ones over the past 3 seasons including darkwing’s previous episode “The Duck Knight Returns!”, which I sadly didn’t get to in time before this episode. But this is a worthly replacement to conclude our double feature so it all works out. But yeah a big one hour special that changes the course of the season, brings Goslyn in, and brings in Darkwing’s old rogue’s gallery? Sign me up. And it’s also VERY clear that Disney has plans for a revivial/spinoff for darkwing. Besides this episode setting it up and Frank being very clear he has plenty of ideas for this big duckverse as a whole and is a massive fan of the series, there’s the fact Disney conspciously posted a trailer, 4 preview cilps (Though to their credit none really give the game away entirely and all but one take place in the first act, and the one that didn’t is so they could show off Stephanie Beatriz as Goslyn, which is fair enough). And if that werent’ enough, the killing stroke is that the episode is FREE TO WATCH on Disney Now, and likely on Youtube sometime soon given they usually do that when the make an episode readily avaliable as done with most series premires and, for some weird reason, the season 3 premire of big hero six. But wheras that’s probably just to drum up hype for an aging-ish series, this feels like a delberate move to drum up hype for the episode among both fans of the ducktales reboot and the old darkwing fanbase. The only way they could’ve been more transparent is if they put a giant sign at the end of the episode that says SPINOFF COMING SOON.. MAYBE.. DID YOU LIKE THIS? TWITTER US IF YOU LIKE THIS.. THAT’S THE RIGHT TERM RIGHT?.

That being said I can’t blame them as Darkwing’s a beloved property, superheros are big right now thanks in large part to disney themselves with the MCU, and the fandom reactied with overwhelming praise to “The Duck Knight Returns!”, which is one of season 2′s best episodes even if the cliam that scrooge never went to the movies nor saw one on cable after 1938 is implausable at best and really dumb and I hate it at worst. I mean I get he wouldn’t love rising prises, but I seriously doubt Della wouldn’t have dragged him to one at some point or that someone wouldn’t of tried to get him to invest in theirs long before boorswan. It just dosen’t fit the character and it was dumb.. it’s also unrelated to this episode but I had pent up rage from preparing to review that episode and I might as well get it out of the way now. Point is this episode has a lot riding on it and had all the hype. So did it live up to it? Let’s take a look.

We open in St. Canard, former wretched hive of scum and villiany and soon to be home to the second John Oliver Memorial Sewage Plant. Launchpad’s narrating and nearly getting everyone killed in a car accident as Scrooge argues with Bradford over the project Scrooge is on his way to see.. with the boys in two naturally. And since eveyrone else is missing and I had fun with it last time i’m assuming Webby is with Violet helping Lena with her burdgoening superhero career and trying to ask her out, Beakly is tending to the house , Della and Penny are working out and trying not to admit there’s clear sexual tension and Donald is once again in the Pantry because he never learns. HE NEVER LEARNS.

Anyways we learn their going to visit Tarus Bulba, in this continuity a famous and well loved scientist who I’m sure defintely won’t turn out to still be evil... yeshewillletsmoveon. Huey and Louie are excited about it because of Huey’s well established love of science and Louie smelling the money in a big inavation with Scrooge likely smelling both. As for Launchpad and Dewey their going to check in on Drake, whose living here now: Launchpad because he’s his best budy and possibly future boyfriend and Dewey because he needs more hits for his channel as he’s finally taken Dewey Dew Night to the masses. Bout time. Now he just needs a streaming deal. Make it happen Disney, D+ needs some animated series of it’s own. They also do a naturally terrible job of keeping the fact h’es a superhero a secret. We also breifly see drake doing a superhero dive before also comically tripping up and getting injured off screen. Cue.. Darkwing Colored ducktales logo as we don’t have time for the theme this week! And given this episode is an hour long that’s saying something. Anyways Scrooge and the boys sans dewey head to meet Bulba whose a charming, gregarious man who quickly hugs the boys, puts them on his shoulders and snaps a selfie with the group. And he’s also familiar with the boys: Huey for wining the junior woodchuck science award and Louie for Louie Inc which ended before it’s time.. on public record. He’s a fan of both. And even given later reveals this seems genuine which I did not expect it to end up being anything resembling that. But we’ll get more into Bulba’s character when the time is right for now he shows off his invention: The Ramrod! While it shares the same name as Doctor Waddlemeyer’s device from the original, and as we’ll soon learn he made this one too, instead of a gravity device it instead can make ANYTHING you ask for, with Taruus wisely using Haggis to demonstrate. Huey however can’t help but wonder how it does what it does as surely what it makes has to come from somewhere though Louie tries to shut him up as he dosen’t want him to look a gifthorse in the mouth. I mean Horace gets self concious about it. Meanwhile Launchpad and Dewey meet up with Drake at the reboot version of Darkwing Tower, where he’s set up nicely: Multiple costumes, gadgets, including arrows with his face on them, and the ratcatcher in all it’s glory. Seriously I do love motorcycles even if I’m terrified of riding one. It’s part of why yugioh 5d’s holds a special place in my heart despite card games on motorcylces being patently nuts.. but it’s in the best way possible. As for how Drake got this sweet setup turns out Launchpad introduced him to Fenton who designed all his gadgets and presumibly his HQ as well as his snarky crime detecting and st.canard monitoring computer, W.A.N.D.A. Naturally he also is unaware he’s gizmoduck and freely shit talks gizmoduck again, though apparently Fenton does too. Granted Fenton could just be doing it to awkardly agree but it’s just as likely fenton uses it as an excuse to vent about his superhero alter ego, as we’ve seen that while Fenton loves being Gizmoduck he also resents it at time for keepiing him from doing science and getting glory just for punching people. But I love this dynamic, as Fenton’s just too nice for the old “they both hate each other and want the glory” dynamic to work, so Fenton untetionally pissing DW off as Gizmo but secretly supporting him as Darkwing is great and I can’t wait to see where this goes. Before we get back to the main plot, and there is a LOT of it to get to, I just wanted to point out that Dewey seems an awful lot like drake.. i’m not saying he’s the boys father and Della simply didn’t knoow who it was mama mia style nor did she, in her more selfish form of 11 years ago want to know.. but that’s exactly what i’m saying. THanks to whoever sent me that theory, it got more fire this week. Back on the actual plot turns out Darkwing dosen’t really have any foes to fight as while St. Canard has a reputation as a crime hole, Zan Owlson has taken over as mayor and cleaned it up. I assume in part because Glomgold seems to have no idea where she went and thus hasn’t done some elaborate scheme to show how much better off he is/kill scrooge mcduck. I mean let’s face it it always involves killing scrooge mcduck. His charitable contributions involve killing scrooge mcduck, his team ups with scrooge involve killing scrooge mcduck, his breakfast cereal came with a free knife and a map to scrooge’s house. Though I do defintely want to see Darkwing vs glomgold. I mean he’s not DW”s normal type of supervillian but still, tell me you wouldn’t see that.. and if your serious there’s the door.

Anyways despite having no crime to fight and trying to bluff past it despite WANDA trying her best not to help his case, DW goes out on patrol with his boys anyway.. and procedes to just pose for several hours before trying to stop what turns out to be two guys moving furniture and being force to admit he’s not in a great place. He just wanted to fight crime and inspire people the same way Jim inspiried him.. before he you know went insane, tried to murder Drake and everyone on a film set then seemingly died but is now presumibly still in duckberg’s sewers.. or just as likely hiding in glomgold’s house hider in the house style.

And yes that’s a real movie in which a real gary busey lives in the walls of someone’s house. And funner fact it’s on amazon prime and I was unaware of this or I would’ve watched it sooner and will be as soon as this reivew’s finished. Possibly while this review is going on I dunno. Point is your lives are richer and we might have another possible spinoff/gay love story for Disney. Just saying Disney.

Point is Drake is breaking down, but thankfully he landed in the right alleway as a small figure is breaking into the mcduck industirie’s st.canard branch, i.e. where Bulba is. Also I gotta admit while McDuck industries having a branch in St. Canard wasn’t a huge stretch, it was set up all the way in the pilot meaning Frank had the backdoor to set up an episode here since day one, along with every other major location really. Nicely done.

Darkwing follows her and confronts her, stopping the seeming intruder from stealing the key to the ramrod device and finding out she’s a.. little girl? It’s goslyn everybody!

.... I .. why was this under clap. I mean it’s a very good message with a very nice garfiled head but i jus... what.

Okay that’s better. Thank you Genie and thank you ghost of robin williams.. I miss you man. She escapes, though sans key and security storms in, with Drake looking guilty. After some banter with Scrooge who fails to recognize him which would be funny if it wasn’t utterly nonsencial. And utterly nonseical can be funny it just comes off less as “haha scrooge still dosen’t remeber him” and more “Wait you seriously don’t remember the guy who was crucial to one of your plans during the moonvasion and who got beat up on your behalf.. I expect better from you. “ Scrooge just dosen’t seem like the type to forget someone helping him in such a big way. He can be stubborn, stingy and selfish, but he’s not that forgetful.

However Bulba enters, says he knows exactly who he is.. and we cut to a press confrence where Bulba is lauding him for stopping a dangerous intruder. Presumibly he vouched for Darkwing since he knew about Goslyn and it was an easy way to cover up her involvment and it’s probably not the first time she’s tried this. He’s awarded the key to the city by Mayor Owlson who, while not wanting more costumed vigilatnes, is happy to reward someone doing the right thing. And I .. love this. I was worried she’d be your standard I don’t like superheroes type mayor, the kind gotham keeps getting with predectable results despite you know, the bat family being vital for gotham not becoming more of a hellscape. Instead Mayor Owlson is grateful, respectful and only reasonably dosent want St Canard overun with heroes it dosen’t need.. yet. She may want to use the proper channels but she’s not going to try and run someone out of town or grumble out of them for trying to help her city. She gets it. Meanwhile Huey’s hat explodes with with notes and what not, to Louie’s annoyance, though my boy’s excuse is utterly hilarious “It’s dewey’s hat”... boy still cannot lie. Louie is of course annoyed at him wanting to know how it works and possibly runining his dreams, but Huey is rightly concerned that he has no idea just how the Ramrod works or what powers it or what prinicpals it runs on. And it makes sense: Besides Huey always wanting to know how things work being his deal at this late point in the series there have been quite a few times, both involving huey and not involving him where something seeming to be too good to be true in fact was and had some dark secret behind it. Counting them off:

The House of the Lucky Gander: A seemingly swanky casino with the best water show ever turned out to be mostly an illusion created by a luck vampire.

The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks: Beloved tech icon Mark turned out to be the con artist we all know and love as well as the jackass we also know and tolerate.

Beware the BUDDY System: Beaks new driving robot turned out to be stolen bulb tech that Beaks hadn’t bothered to fix properly. I know Huey wasn’t there for that one but still.

Day of the Only Child: Again Huey wasn’t involved but probably heard about it later but since Louie WAS, he should know better. Louie befriends rich kid Doofus Drake only to end up nearly kidnapped because he’s creepy as shit.

Who Is Gizmoduck?!: While Huey wasn’t the target here, he and Fenton are close friends at this point and he was direclty involved. Beaks trying to sponsor Fenton turned out to be a scheme to steal the Gizmoduck Armor.

The Town Where Everyone Was Nice: A seemingly central american town having a friendly festival turns out to be a carnverous plant monster that wanted to eat them.

The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!: Fenton’s seemingly nice date turned out to be an industrial spy for .. Mark Beaks. Seriously he seems to love this type of scheme. Mark Beaks alone is reason for Huey not to take Bulba at face value.

A Night On Kilmotor Hill: The kids being able to go into their dreams ends in Magica stalking and nearly taking back Lena.

Quack Pack: A wacky sitcom wish nearly gets everyone eaten by horrifying versions of humans.

The Lost Harp of Mrivana: While the Mirmaids werne’t responsible for the dark secret this time, their society was built on the philosphy of a man who turns into a giant sea monster and nearly lead them all to the same fate.

The Trickining: A lost horde of candy ends up being a trap by a bunch of monsters to steal candy that nearly got them all eaten and hurt Huey’s feelings.

The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades: A two-fer as the resort their at steals youtha nd the fountain of youth they went to find turns out to need to drain it from someone first.

And Louie was present for 9 of these! And the only one around for one of them! That’s what makes this frustrating: Huey and Dewey have grown, but Louie instead of learning from his mistakes, blindly trusts something too good to be true despite the fact he has a running tally of when that’s happened! I get he’s lazy and dosen’t want this to turn out to be too good to betrue, but he’s too smart for him not to see the red flags or see that Huey’s not “ruining this for them” but has been through this enough, mostly with mark beaks or people around him, to see a pattern. It’s frustrating when Louie was given a whole season arc, and didn’t seem to have any of it stick despite you know nearly murdering his family and nearly getting murdered by a zombie. The show is better than that and knows it’s better than that and it’s one of the weaker points of the episode.

Back to the stronger stuff though, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for IT’S DEWEY DEW-NITE WITH DARKWING DUCK! I figured after the preview clips this was the one Frank had been hinting at all season and it’s finally here! Dewey, now fully on team darkwing, interviews the terror that flaps in the night.. and has a picture of him just coming out of the shower for some reason.. okay are Launchpad and Drake already together and no one told us? Whatever the case, Darkwing’s first big interview is interupted by Gosalyn. As for how she found them, she followed a combination of the resedue from his smoke bombs and Dewey’s livestream that’s been going on this whole time. As his attempts to hide Drake’s identnity and really this entire show up to this point has shown subtley is not Dewey’s strong suit.

Gos, after snooping around a bit and even letting out a “Keen Gear!” for old time’s sake, and finding Drake’s lunch box and first darkness poster, reveals she came for help since she figures DW owes her one for last night.. or earlier tonight. The timescale in this special is really hard to figure out and only gets worse. Gosalyn fills in her side of the story and why she broke into two places in the span of 24 hours. Turns out the Ramrod was in part created by Gosalyn’s grandpa, who was working under Bulba on the project. But one day Dr. Waddlemeyer found out the Ramrod was critically unstable and went to warn Bulba.. and never came back. Gosalyn wants to find him, and wants to DW to punch Bulba into telling her where he is. DW.. naturally does not and raises valid concerns: He’s an upstanding citzen whose offered his full support, has done nothing wrong in the public eye, and is nothing but nice to everyone and Gosalyn.. is a kid whose clearly in mourning, broke into two places, and has no evidence to back her up. He wants to help but he simply can’t and Gosalyn prepares to storm off herself. However in a VERY nice moment, Dewey goes to her and offers to help, as obviously missing parents are a big button for him and he appricated the fact he had someone when he needed to look into his own missing parent and wants to be Gosalyn’s webby.. his exact touching words. It’s a nice call back that really ties Dewey into this story well: He has a solid motive besides crimefighting stuff to help here. Granted Gosalyn’s confused as she hasn’t met webby, yet, and Dewey’s puns don’t help, but as Dewey explains his Dewey puns to her and his name, Launchpad talks to Drake and encourages him to help her. Drake is in fact reluctant like Gosalyn thought for his image but also because as mentioned Bulba seems to belive in him And that’s. understandable. Since starting out, he’s had no crime to fight, no villians to vanquish and only one person acknowledge his work and existance and that person is standing right there. Bulba is the first person besides Launchpad to not only enourage his Darkwing Duties, but to honor that and got him cleared of possible tresspassing charges, a key to the city and an interview on the hottest show on the internet. This risks all of it. But Launchpad makes a good point.. that he needs to help those who can’t help themselves and while he dosen’t have to fight bulba, he can at least look into him. A look at his dented lunchbox reminds Drake that his best friend/future husband is right, and that he became darkwing to protect people like he used to be.. to help the helpless.. and Gosalyn is helpless right now.. plenty capable, but someone who clearly can’t do this alone. So the four take off in the ratcatcher.

The four sneak into Bulba’s office and root around, but end up having to hide when Taurus comes in, with DW hiding in his massive filing cabinet that resembles Darkwing’s own from the original series, that was retired since by now computers have made that kind of thing obsolete. Still it’s a nice nod. Turns out Huey is confronting Bulba as he genuinely dosen’t know how it works and Bulba is annoyed at all his questions. Really Terry there’s an easy way to fix that.

But instead Scrooge comes in and while Terry TRIES to use him to brush off Huey.. Scrooge dosen’t bite and has learned to take Huey’s inquires seriously. And it’s something I didn’t notice about the series but love dearly now i’ve realized it with this bit: The Adults almost always take the kids concerns into considration and when they are brushed off it’s more due to personal issues, like scrooge’s pride, than because their kids. And given just how many hundred series have had the adults just brush off the kids issues like nothing, it’s REALLY refreshing that even reckless adults like Launchpad usually listen and that the kids competence isn’t entirely ignored just because of age.

Bulba brushes them off by giving them the map to the ramrod.. speficially extensive notes on it that they have to carry out as a team. He then adresses Darkwing as he somehow knew he was there but again, is more than happy to help him with any investigation.. and it just so happens evidence Gosalyn was at least telling the truth on some level flies out of Bulba’s files as it shows a picture of him happily playing with Gosalyn and Dr. Waddlemeyer.

Darkwing asks if he knows them and surprisingly Bulba is completely upfront about it or at least his version of events: Waddlemeyer was his best friend his close partner until one night he ran in raving about a problem with the ramrod and in trying to fix it, it backfired and then he was gone. Gos takes this well.. and tackles Bulba while calling him a liar and pockets the key toossing it to dewey as the two soon run from a pissed off Bulba. While Launchpad tackles Bulba away from the kids, Gosalyn TRIES to trigger the ramrod only for Darkwing to stop her. “I’m Sorry Kid but this isn’t going to bring your grandfather back” it’s then the entire episode is turned on it’s head. While, unfortunatley, the trailer gave away other dimensions would be involved, it didn’t however set this up “He’s not dead, he’s in another dimension!”

Yeah while it makes perfect sense in hindsight I dind’t see him being ALIVE ever being a thing, so well played frank. Back with the rest of the family, Huey, Louie and Scrooge are diving around a stack of papers and Louie is sitll being a little shit, and not in the fun way in the “well not everything’s a missing mystery blah blah blah”... when you .. you learned tolerance for your brother two episodes ago. Thankfully this ends here..mostly because Huey ends up being right as Louie mentioning the misssing mysterys gives Huey his eurkea moment. Turns out the Ramrod uses one of them, Solego’s Circuit. Solego, based on the chaos god from the disney afternoon crossover something I missed on first watch, was in this universe a mad thinker who belived in the old theory that fiction is just a mirror to another universe and everything is real and found a way to open portals to other worlds. Problem was his methods were unstable, and could destroy the world, and likely the universe, if used repeadtly. Wuh-Oh

Back at the Ramrod, Bulba has launchpad on him, while Darkwing aand Gosalyn discuss things and come to the obvious conclusion: If Dr. Waddlemeyer was caught in a ramrod explosion then he’s likely out there somewhere and Darkwing clearly wants to help. Bulba TRIES playing diplomat again and mentoning that even if he’s out there the trillions of dimensions out in the multiverse mean he may be nigh impossible to find.. and the ramrod’s too unstable for that. This however finally backfires on him as Bulba had previously said it was perfectly stable, and has now fully confirmed gosalyn’s side of the story.. and since it is stable, if he’s not lying that is, then that means they can find Dr. Waddlemeyer and get the full truth. Naturally at this point Bulba finally stops playing nice and knocks both over and triggers the ramrod which is now very clearly unstable from use and prepares to throw both into another dimension, also confirming that what happened to her grandfather was no accident. Thankfully Dewey arrives in the nick of time with a well place smokebomb and bulba gets hit with lightning from the machine giving him a scar and cleaving one of his horns. While Gos is able to escape thanks to launchpad it dosen’t last long and Bulba confronts her.. but soon makes the classic mistake of saying no one can save you now. Cue Darkwing with the classic terror that flaps in the night speech. And unlike the original darkwing’s fights with Bulba, this fight is entirely in darkwing’s favor, as in a thrilling fight Darkwing beats the crap out of them then escapes Bulba’s fist , the only blow the man gets in this time. While Bulba still is a legit threat, he can’t match Drake’s speed or misdirection skills. However when trying to get the key, which Bulba grabbed earlier in the scene, Goslayn falls and Darkwing goes to save her. And while our heroes celebrate for a second with launchpad joining them.. Bulba has escaped AND still has the ramrod key. Uh-Oh

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Bulba is of course activating the ramrod with SCrooge and the boys telling him to stop.. it’s too dangerous... but Bulba decides to get dangerous and pissed at darkwing, unleahses the fearsome four! Cue act break. We’ll be right back. Let’s have an intermission shall we.

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Okay break’s over. St. Canard isn’t doing great as the fearsome four have locked down the city, with Gizmoduck barely holding his own against bushroot and unable to get past, and thus meaning implicitly no one else from duckberg can either and with scrooge and the boys missing, Mayor Owlson calls on darkwing to save them, again giving her more points in my book as she rightly figures the guy dressed up as the hero from the tv show and playing him for reasl is the best person to face four villians from a 90′s tv show suddenly out and about and holding her city hostage.

But Drake is spiraling a bit as these are super villians with super powers. This dosen’t quite work for me as A) He’s a super fan and thus should know their weaknesses and B) What.. what did he expect. Even the vast majority of Batman’s Rogues Gallery is super powered. But it’s a quick speed bump, understandable as Drake probably didn’t grasp the very real reality of fighting super crime. We also get to see all 4 classic DW Badguys int heir glory, and beating up bonkers, who apparently exists in this universe which is more suprising than it should be. HOwever Darkwing, ends up accidently coming up with a plan: capture one of them, get them to let them into bulba’s heavily foretfied lab turned lair, and use the ramrod to send them home and find dr. waddlemeyer. Easy. Well okay not so much as the two argue over Gosalyn coming along but Launchpad’s experince has taught him kids are the best adventuerers at all and they just need to be an adventure family. Gosalyn’s dewey, Darkwing’s launchpad and Launchpad’s the uncle.. not quite the right congifuration but his heart’s in the right place.. even if Gos refuses a family since she still has one.. even if you know she can always add the two of them in. Eh semantics point is WANDA found Quackerjack and Goslyn rightly points out they can handle just one villian. So they head out. Also during the scene Fenton tried to contact them but Darkwing semeingly brushed him off.. we’ll get to that later. As the camera closes in on Scrooge and the boys being seen as missing we find the boys at least as Bulba throws them in jail. Scrooge is still missing, though we’ll find out where he is soon enough. Bulba returns to his office to find Bradford. Unsuprisingly finding the circuit wasn’t an accident and Bulba was working out the circuit for F.O.W.L. this whole time. However Bradford also isn’t remotley happy about how big and bombastic things are getting. After all his modeus operandi is stealthy and quite not you know hyjacking an entire city with an unstable super science device and 4 villians from an old cartoon show. Bulba points out hey he wanted the world, this is the way to do it and when Bradford continues to push back against him Bulba rants: he’s just like scrooge or the waddlemeyers or darkwing no vision. Bradford may not see fowl as supervillians, which no dude you are just because you don’t operate in the open dosen’t make you not supervillians. one of you wears a hood for fucks sake. Supervillians don’t have to wear costumes just ask the kingpin.. or his lookalike bulba who has his newfound minons take out bradford and throws him in with the kids. Yeah maybe.. don’t downtalk the well intentioned madman. This is why you haven’t taken the world yet. But with both his bosses gone Bulba feels they need a big splash and takes Liquidator’s suggestion of killing darkwing duck, and sends everyone’s faviorite dog shaped liquid pitchman to bring him to Bulba. Side note I watched a few episodes to see if the series gets darkwing’s villians down.. what changed. and .. yeah it ended up being irrlevant as while the four do get to show their stuff and liquidator, my faviorite so far and sadly the most underused, relaly gets time to shine, they aren’t really that diffrent. Except for bushroot who weirdly only uses godzilla noises now. Thanks I hate it. Otherwise though it’s pretty accurate to the series and hopefully wtih a reboot we’ll get full on reboot versions of all four.

Meanwhile Team Darkwing stakes out quackerjack, with Darkwing still unsure of what to do, and Launchpad having brought snacks like a good uncle. Yeah while he did immitate scrooge for a second it’s clear he’s taking after donald. Awwwwwww. The two then procede to think over one of quackerjacks episodes and while gos goes to find him, they sing the theme song. Great. They do end up finding him.. and as in the episode it’s inside a giant mech.. that probably wasn’t cgi in the show.. or maybe it was but god it’d be awesomely horendous.. somebody make that. They narrowly escape him.. but run into liquidator instead. Wuh-Oh. Meanwhile, literally as these bits are intercut but it was just easier to do it this way, Bradford is thrown in his cell and the kids are curious why he’s here, with Huey assuming he’s getting money and the kids breaking out with Bradford forced to follow, though caling Heron for an evac. Dewey actually has a plan: Since he knows Darkwing an Gosalyn won’t stop till they get to the ramrod, they simply need to find the ramrod and wait for them to show up and offer a way out, though Bushroot bars the way. Thankfully Dewey knows who he is as Launchpad naturally made him watch a LOT of darkwing duck but hey it came in handy and gives him something to bond with his birth dad over so that’s a bonus.

The three make their way through, with Dewey singing the darkwing theme song.. and naturally being the one to trip the vines. our heroes make it out alive but bradford is pisseeeeedddddddddd. And in his rage accidently says maybe a bit too much after dewey incorrectly assumes he’s never felt this alive in years.

“I’ve never been closer to death thanks to your foolhardy adventuring! If you didn’t meddle with forces you didn’t understand Magica De Spell wouldn’t have broken the bin, the moon never would’ve invaded earth and all of reality wouldn’t be in jeopardy! SOMEONE HAS TO PUT AN END TO THIS!” Yeah this speech .. is damn good hence me quoting it in full and Mark Evan Jackson really sells it. While granted we knew this was what started FOWL trying to elimiate the ducks, that’s how we found out FOWL existed still after all at the end of last season, here it becomes clear that despite Bradford saying it’s just buisness and seemingly being business minded.. this is PERSONAL. He genuinely seems to hate the ducks and their adventuers and the damage they cause and seems to blame them and soley them for everything that goes wrong.

And I was going to say “Well he’s not entirley wrong” as their adventures have had consequences.. but as I looked through the episodes.. I realized I was wrong. Out of 60 episodes so far, the ducks actions have only threanted duckberg or Scrooge’s buisness a handful and most of those are Louie. They are :

Louie misusing little bulb in the great dime chase wrecking parts of the bin

The beanstalk incident from Jaw$, which Scrooge was called out on in the public.

Gizmoducks messy bank robbery prevention in who is gizmoduck, easily outweighed by everything since.

Destroying an underwater research station in the depths of cousin fethry which was in part due to natural wildlife.

Scrooge’s flu and stubborness tanking stocks in “The 87 cent solution” not to mention destroying property. While yes Scrooge was being played by glomgold his own stubborness and the kids refusal to call beakly lead to it playing out longer than it should have.

Ruined an expensive movie production (Which is partly Jim’s fault, but scrooge still didn’t get intolved at any point or have anyone more experinced oversee boreswan or even ever contact jim about a cameo. )

Louie nearly destroying time itself in timephoon.

Della giving the moonlanders the blueprints for the spear

And as you can tell almost all of them aside from louie’s two incdients involve some form of extenuating circumstances. While Chaos has insued it’s never been intentional and always been cleaned up. Even the invasion, as close a call as that was, was solved BY the family and their allies.. and glomgold, but hey sometimes you need an x factor. Most of the duck’s actions have only backfired on themselves of people nowhere near duckberg or scrooge’s intrests and most villians gunning for them would regardless if scrooge was active or not: Glomgold hates scrooge for entirely personal reasons, Magica was locked up for good reason and while she got out due to the family’s rift, she would’ve done what she did with the bin regardless, the beagles just want their land back even if Scrooge rightfully owns it, Beaks maniuplated fenton to get the armor and now goes after him out of jealousy, and Lunaris was already going after earth Della just sped it up and did so in good faith entirely unaware he was a invader. These nuts would be gunning for scrooge anyway, and while some of it’s due to his life as an adventuerer, said life was started before Bradford was born. Scrooge isn’t responsible for guys coming after him any more than batman, or spide-rman. Sure a hero being around gives them reason to keep trying but it also means there’s someone to STOP them. And more importantly, as I always intended to prove, their adventures have done more good than harm: Beisdes the obvious mending and extending of their family, with Donald and Scrooge patching things up and Beakly, Launchpad and especially webby being warmly welcomed in and Della finally finding a way home, not to mention their various allies, over the last 60 episodes our heroes have, and yes another list and a long one so buckle up. In chrnological order:

Brought clean, limitless water to duckberg, if through scrooge’s water company.

Defeated a luck vampire that was kidnapping innocent people (Okay Gladstone’s probably mildly incident but even he didn’t deserve that) and likely left him unable to continue his scheme.

Freed a lost and enslaved Egyptian civlization from a tyrant and brought them quite literally into light.. and gave them burritos.

Defeated Zeus.. not really a huge change for humanity but given what a dick he is I’m counting it.

Through Gyro’s invetion of the gizmotech armor and Fenton’s use of it, gave duckberg a superhero whose since cleaned up crime, keeps the city safe while scrooge isn’t around and is beloved by the city.

Stopped a known super spy.. who works for Bradford but still.

Defeated Magica, saved the entire city, and depowered her all in one day and all together.

Found an entirely new and giant species of plankton and gave their cousin a purpose

Destroyed an evil plant monster that had likely eaten dozens before that.

Helped a man find his family’s treasured lamp

Opened a museum wing to share Scrooge’s various treasures with the world.

Hundreds of years ago stopped a robber baron from bleeding a town dry.

Donald selflessly possibly sacrificing himself in a dangerous rocket to try and get home to warn earth and his family of the coming invasion.

Taught Lena how to love herself, got her to turn against magica, and then with Violet’s help Webby helped her return to life, and find a home where she’s actually loved and wanted and finally happy and free.

Stopped beaks rampage.. granted it was with stolen gizmotech, but he still stole it int he first place.

Gave the Drakes an adopted son who genuinely loves them and sucessfuly gave them finacial freedom from their cruel, sociopathic biological son.

Stopped an army of scrooge’s greatest foes from stealing his company.

Formed a resistance against the moonlander invasion, stopping it eventually with glomgold and the cousins help.

After that stopping Lunaris backup plan to destroy the earth itself along with his own people.

As a result of all of this, despite the invasion, introducing a new population of happy, repentant for their invasion of the world aliens into duckberg who have been loyal and hardworking.

If unknowingly stopping Fowl’s own agent from killing everyone in duckberg.

Saving a lost society of mermaids and helping them start over

Sucessfully saving a charity gala from hyjackers.

Helping Daisy start the career she wants.

Saving BOYD from being hyjacked by dr akita

Saving all of Tokyok from Akita’s plans for boyd.

Finally letting BOYD be his own boy and break free from his past.

Defeating team Ragnarok and saving the earth from the end of days.

Defeating the phantom blot while unlocking Lena’s powers, both saving an innocent child from death and giving duckberg protection from Magica once and for all.

Helping penny adjust to earth giving Duckberg another defender besides Gizmoduck and the clan mcduck.

Stopping ponce de leon from draining the youth from anyone else and restoring all his victims.

So yeah five times the number of bad things they’ve done or money they’ve lost. For all the chaos it causes the ducks have changed so many lives and not just their own for the better. And I think that’s the problem: Bradford only sees thing in the terms of possesion in money, and helping people gets him NONE of that. To him all of this is just more risks to the world and his control of it. To him Scrooge has near complete control of duckberg, thousands of buisnesses, the potetial to grip the world.. and he uses it to seemingly endanger it and better lives instead of his own. I mean he has enriched his own but still. Bradford simply CAN’T see past himself or his own saftey and greed to see any benifit for anyone else. ONly himself and with scrooge gone the world is his, the world is safe, and the world is better. In other words.. he’s who scrooge ALMOST became, minus the effort to get things himself. A bitter old man who cares only about himself and his possesions and wants nothing else. We’ve seen it here and we’ve seen it in the life and times: Without his family scrooge grows cold and alone.. and without anyone to really care about Bradford is what he’d become. He’sd also forced to eat his transmitter after blaming his outburst on his lack of medication. Wah Wah.

Back at Darkwing Tower, after what feels like 80 years, our heroes squabble a bit as Gosalyn wants to run off after another villian to get to her grandpa while Darkwing wants them to get some rest while he takes care of some buisness> Gosalyn balks at this, all but shouts YOUR NOT MY REAL DAD! and then runs off to the overlook of hte tower. While Darkwing takes a call with Fenton at long last, Launchpad goes to comfort the girl. She admits straight up she was a bit hard on the guy she’s just desperate to find him. And it turns out darkwing as over hte last.. few nights? Wait....

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I’m genuinely confused as the time skip at the end of act one indicated a day at most yet i’ts apparently been several and drake’s been loosing sleep over it? And even WITH the lockdown the rest of the duck family hasn’t barged in? I mean yes the four are keeping the gates shut but even with fenton trying, I highly doubt della has the patience to wait while her kids and baiscally dad are in serious danger, and they still have the cloudslayer/sunchaser and while yes bushroots pplans could stretch up it’s as simple as della flying up and then landing somewhere. I don’t think mayor owlson would complain TOO much about property damage and while scrooge would grumble he’d pay for it. Point is the timescale here is confusingingly worded. At most i’d say a day has passed and darkwing hasn’t slept since last night, as that makes more sense than “Whelp I guess our famiy’s been missing for days nothing weird about that. As I said the timescale for this episode is really weird and one of it’s few problems, the other being, now we’ve met them might as well get out of the way, how throwaway darkwing’s foes feel. They all, minus mega volt, get a moment to shine but they all feel like interchangable goons. Like any of them could’ve done any of their scens just swap out the gimmick. I do get this episode has a LOTTTTTT going on at once, so I get any character bits with them probably got shoved out and odds are we’ll get “real world” throughly updated versions next time, it just feels weird to make such a big deal and bring the fearsome foursome in and not either give them a bigger roll or have them stick around for the future, though as I said frank will probably remake them from the ground up for the reboot with new origins and what not, and some might intentional take after them like drake did with tv darkwing, so fair enough, just felt it was a bit of a waste but I understand it given the sheer amount of stuff to fit into a 45 minute special.

Back on the actual plot though Darkwing’s been up all night conversing with Fenton trying to find dr. waddlemeyer. And Fenton sadly has no good news: Not only does the Ramrod have only one shot left in it before it breaks reality, but even if that gives them one shot to find Dr. Waddlemeyer.. there are trilions of universes out there. The odds of finding it before reality goes bye bye are slim to none. But Darkwing refuses to give up as he refuses to let Gosalyn down. It shows that despite his earlier fear.. Drake is a damn good person and wants to make up for not beliving in gosalyn, to help her anyway he can no matter what it takes. Gosalyn realizes she’s been kind of a dick and helps darkwing and herself get some sleep, and in a reversal of the scene from Darkly Dawns the duck, hums little girl blue to him. Awwww.. my heart.. it’s too full!.

Back at the tower, the boys and bradford find the ramrod and bradford grumbles as he finds where scrooge is: trapped in the ORIGINAL ducktales reality, though using the remastered proportions and blue eyes. It’s a good gag especially since Bulba specifically trapped him in this scene.

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Beautiful. Bradford wonders how the hell he’s going to cover this up.. and Huey overhears him, having already been suspcious because while good at running a massive shadowy conspiracy, he didn’t you know, tell heron to keep it down on the transponder as the boys were around and her continuned interputions and his outburst earlier made Huey suspcious. Before Bradford can cover he starts coughing (With Dewey’s pricless injection of “Oh no we killed him!”) and coughs up the transmitter.. with Heron inconvently pointing out he’s fowl high command. He’s the bad guy.. from the kids point of view at least. But Bradford just chucks them into the 87 dimension where they stare blankly at scroog’es rampage. So now it’s all down to team darkwing. Speaking of which their all asleep but Wanda wakes darkwing up and in another ddtd parallel, he leaves to take care of this himself, if without Gosalyn waking up this time. His reason is simple though: The ramrod has fired up and this is their only shot at getting her grandpa back. So Darkwing strolls in.. and once Bulba and the fearsome four marvel at his directness, Bulba sends them to knock his brains out and drag him in. Thankfully Gosalyn and Launchpad wakeup and while Gosalyn is mad for a second, she sees him getting drug in and finally realizes just charging in isn’t going to do it. .and since Launchpad knows DW like the back of his hand, he gets them in by dressing them up as Jumbalya Jake and the Bugmaster. I’ve heard of both though why the hell Frank chose Jumbalya jake over .. ANYONE else, is beyond me. Bugmaster is fairly popular, Jumbalya Jake.. is basically a less intresting fuzzy lumpkins. Regradsleess it works and our heroes make their way inside.

Bulba is preparing to his big hyjack the airways villian speech, contacting the leaders of the world.. and killing darkwing, whose none to happy about it to show their serious with an ultimatium: either let him use the ramrod to change the world for hte better or else. And this seems a good as time as any to talk about Bulba.. whose utterly EXCELLENT in the reboot. And I loved the original but instead of just being a super comptietn villian bulba is instead a well meaning one. While he embraces the supervillian lifestyle and flunkies and flamboyance, he’s also just trying to remake the world, to make it BETTER than it was beofre, to end hunger, no traffic acidents. It dosen’t make him a good person, much like magneto or disney’s own toffee, the ends do not jusify the means and he’s likely going to destroy reality in the process, and it’s clear his own arrogance is at much at play as his desire to do goo dand anyone with valid concerns is just a doubting asshole. He’s a compelling villian and James Monroe englehart REALLY fucking brings it, creating a villian with style, a mission and competence galor. He’s really damn good and easily tops the original which is not easy at all, but props to frank for doing it.

But before he can get started, Gosalyn throws the smoke bombs down all around and does Darkwing’s terror that flaps in the night bit for him, and the distractoin allows DW to escape and kick bulba in the face. A HELL of a fight insues. That’s one of the best things this series does is fight corpegraphy as while battles aren’t in EVERY episode, whent hey do happen their spectacular as Darkwing and Launchpad take on the fearsome four in one hell of a beautiful sequence. Darkwing and Launchpad plan to take the four on while Gosalyn gets to the ramrod. Gosalyn understandably questions how an actor and a launchpad are going to take on four villians with the two piping in that bushroot really isn’t na villian which .. I mean he KINDA is but the symapthetic kind that would probably give it up eventually but fair enough. I still like that nod even if this version is less adorakable traumatized plant and more...

Still Goslyn realises their power! THeir nerds! And with the power of fanboyness, and taking a few hits and refrencing the just us justice ducks episode I haven’t seen yet, their triumphant. Singed but triumphant.

Meanwhile Gos continues to try and find her grampapapapapapapappapappaaaaaaaa while Bulba engages Darkwing and Launchpad. Jokes on him their already engaged to each other! She fails to find him but does find the ducks, who wonder what quackaroonie means and why their heads were round.

As the Ramrod rips a massive hole in time and space that threatens to suck everyone in. While Dewey encourages Gosalyn to keep going Huey tells her to stop... which.. Huey you lost your parent too, end of the world or not you can phrase it better. Otherwise top notch youv’e been the best this episode. And in one of the best scnees of the episode Gosalyn realizes what she has to do and despite Bulba tempting her with another relality she ddosen’t even consider it.. she shoots the ramrod with her crosbow, destroying it, with the final portal taking the fearsome four .. somewhere. I dunno? Cleavland..antis? I’m sure their fine. Bulba is knocked out though, and Gosalyn slowly weeps while her new dad consoles her. It’s a touching scene.

Thattt’s soon interupted with one last bit of unfished buisness as Huey suddenly realizes OH CRAP BRADFORD”S MISSING. They find him heading off in a marked FOWL helicopter, which Bradford points out the stupidity of but with Scrooge now having concrete visual evidence his head investor is running one of the oldest and deadliest spy agencies in the world, and their gunning for him decides to give a big of a gloat and tells Scrooge his adventure fantasy is ending while Scrooge remarks their world got a lot more dangerous. And yeah.. while I doubt Bradford will still brook over the top villiany, he now no longer has to hide his agents from scrooge or dance his operation around him and likely has enough embezlled funds to keep fowl going long enough to take out scrooge. And yeah before we get to the end, thank god as while I love this review it’s been one of the longest writing experiments of my life., let’s talk about the FOWL overarching Plot and the interlocked missing mysteries subplot. The progress up till now has.. not really been great. Understandable but wheras season 2 had way too much plot this season took until thsi episode for the plot to really kick in. It’s been aggrivating and both fowl agents after you only crash twice .. really had nothing to do with them in their missions, with both only really using their resources. However.. as slow as it’s been, I will give credit in two places: 1, htis was likely done to get plots out of the way that were lighter and less tied into things, with only two exceptions in the next 6 episodes judging from the just released synposis for novemeber. And 2) the fowl episodes that WERE there set things up brillinatly. You Only Crash Twice set up heron’s lack of stealth and overt villianly, so her calling bradford a ton and bringing a marked helicopter did’t come out of nowhere, while last week’s episode hinted at the fact that FOWL somehow has acess to their own copy of finch’s diary or an equivleant. While we don’t know all the details. This episode also got the plot into overdrive by fleshing out bradford anymore, adding into his lack of liiking cartoon supervilliany by giving him a well and true hatred for scroooge and co. It’s not just the risk, he truly hates their lifestyle and LOATHES all of them and wants them gone.. and now he’s getting his chance. Overall it hasn’t been a bad plot and I get why it’s mostly in the back, but it still could’ve used some build up. But they worked well with what they had. I will also say the focus on Huey is ramping up with the last batch of episodes, so this really has turned out to be his season afterall. Good. So we wrap our story back at Darkwing Tower as Gosalyn bemoans the fact her grandpa is gone. But Drake, for the first time this episode in his civies, softly encourages her to, much like him at her age, get back up again. She got blown up, buffeted around and lost a lot. but they WILL find him. Afterall Drake has a scientest friend who knwos another scientest, and until then.. she can be his crime fighting partner/implicit daughter. So Gosalyn, after so much rejection of it finally accepts her new family while Launchpad runs in to join them with dewey’s blessing. He’s not leaving the show ind, he’s just going to spend days in duckberg, nights in saint canard and sleep on the drive over, to Drake’s pitch perfect “What the actual shit bud” face. Gosalyn is happy, ,and Wanda has a crime for them to chase and our hapy family , back after way too long, heads off into the night to get dangerous. Wheew.

Final Thoughts: God damn this was a long one. I mean it was an hour long but god damn I had a lot to say. But it was a good one. Minor flaws aside, a second watch showed off the pacing, great jokes, amazing emotoinal core, perfomances and plot progression. Unlike the Duck Knight returns the episode wisely ballances darkwing with the boys and scrooge, and interweaves them beautiful as well as finding a credible way for them to find out about FOWL. The game has changed. I also saved the best for last as Stephanie Beatriz was fucking amazing as Gosalyn. While i’ve always loved her, she’s nice, bi and utterly fantastic on brooklyn nine nine why wouldn’t I?, and was excited I was both suprised by how diffrnet her gos voice is from her regular one, though shouldn’t have been as her rosa voice is also vastly diffrent.. seriously stephanie do more voice work your great at it, and Gos was rebooted well, sanding a bit of her hellion streak off while still feeling like the character and instead of just ignoring her grandpa’s death after one episode, making it inot a major part of her character arc here and likely in the future. It’s damn good stuff. The special really overall gets the spirit fo darkwing while making something, new , fresh and bold out of it and easily holds it’s own among the other specials. Nothing much else to say that hasn’t been said, this special was utterly amazing, go watch it.

Now with that done if you like my weekly ducktales reviews, you can follow me for more, comment to tell me how i’m doing and i’m proud to announce.. follow me on my brand spanking new patreon! 2 dollar patrons get a poll once I have enough to do one of those, a discord once I get any, and 10 dollar backers get to pick a review for me a month! If you have the dough, please check it out and if not tha’ts okay. Until next time get dangerous but in the safest way possible, don’t forget to vote trump out and happy halloween! Play us out Jeff Pescetto!

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darklingichor · 4 years ago

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Odd Thomas, Forever Odd & Brother Odd by Dean Koontz *MAJOR SPOILERS* Long post

I've written a little bit about these before. My goal was to listen to all seven of the Odd books plus the two short stories... I couldn't make myself do that.

I use to really love those books. I use to really love Dean Koontz, just recently, the writing has started to annoy me. Since I haven't read any of his new stuff since Saint Odd came out, I can't say it's because the writing has changed. I think I have changed, I'm just not sure in what way. So, I'm going to look at the first three books in the series because 1. I like them the most (sort of). 2. Because I honestly feel like the series should have either ended there or jumped to Saint Odd. 3. Because I'm going to see if by writing about them, I can figure out why reading Koontz in my 20's was like a breath of fresh air, but in my 30's it feels like when the air conditioner is some how making everything too cold, yet not cooling things down at all: uncomfortable and bafflingly frustrating.

Odd Thomas is a 20 year old fry cook in the small california desert town of Pico Mundo. He's seen as sweet but strange to all but a few people in town. He grew up with a mostly absent father, a crazy mother and a loving but wild grandmother, the last has already gone to the great beyond, so what family he has, he has found.

He has a girlfriend named Stormy, they've been together since they were sixteen, his boss at the Grill where he works, Terry, who has an encyclopedic knowledge of Elvis Presley, a 300 lb mystery writer named P. Oswald Boone (Little Ozzie), his landlady who is afraid she'll turn invisible, and the cheif of police.

Odd also sees ghosts, or The Lingering Dead as he calls them. He trys to help them crossover. Sometimes it's as simple as talking to them (though they don't speak back, "the dead don't talk") oftentimes is complicated and dangerous. Hence why his close relationship with the cheif comes in handy and also why it formed. He has other gifts. The occasional prophetic dream that usually only gives him bits and pieces to work off of, he sees these spectors of calamity that tend to show up right before something bad happens (like an earthquake or a shooting) they are black shadow things that Odd calls Bodochs, and psychic magmatism, where he can find anyone he's looking for by wondering around with a clear picture in mind.

Everyone in his circle knows about his gift other than his landlady who is slightly and gently insane.

There is one other person in his circle, the ghost of Elvis who Odd had been trying to help crossover since he was in highschool.

The first book takes place over the course of three days.

To avoid a blow by blow, I'll summarize. After an eventful morning during which he helped a murdered twelve year old cross over by catching her killer, Odd goes to his shift a the Grill. There, he sees a creepy little man that reminds him if a mold and fungus, followed by a group of Bodochs. He finishes his shift, goes looking for the guy he's dubed Fungus Man.

He eventually finds his way to Fungus Man's house, breaks in and finds it unnaturally cold and silent. He discovers a room that is pitch black except for a small red light. He soon finds that what has made this room so black and the house so cold and quiet is the mob of Bodochs occupying it. After the Bodochs stream out, Odd is able to see that the room is an office and Fungus Man (aka Bob Roberts) is obsessed with serial and mass murderers, he has a file cabinet full of folders on them and posters of famous murders on his wall. Bob seems to be planning something, but Odd doesn't know what, as his only clue is a planner page in a folder from the killer cabinet. The folder is labeled with Bob's name and the date is two days away.

A series of happenings eventually leads to odd trying to stop a horrifying plan

*SPOILERS STOP READING RIGHT HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE END*

So, Bob is a satanist in cahoots with a couple of other satanists to shoot up and blow up the Pico Mundo mall, among other places. He is able to stop them from completing their goal, but some people do die, including Stormy who was working at an ice cream shop at the mall.

Forever Odd

It's months later and Odd has moved into Stormy's apartment. He wakes up to find the ghost of one of his best friends's stepdad at his bedside. Strangely, Danny, a guy with brittle bone disease, with whom Odd grew up, was not mentioned in the last book.

So, the ghost of Danny's stepdad convinces Odd to go to his and Danny's house. Once there, Odd finds stepdad's body and discovers that Danny has been kidnapped.

What follows is a slightly weird story.

Odd eventually finds Danny and his kidnappers. One is a bug-shit woman Danny was talking with on a phone sex line. To impress her he told her about Odd. She's into her own twisted form of the Vudun religion and decides that Odd can show her the lingering dead and wants him become one of her crew. She kidnapped Danny to lure him out.

Danny is rescued, bad guys defeated, and Odd decides he needs to get out of Pico Mundo for a while.

Brother Odd

Odd has spent the last several months at the St. Bartholomew's Abbey, in the California Mountains, as a lay visitor among the monks and nuns. The Abbey is also home to a a community of disabled children. Odd becomes close with four people in particular The Mother superior, The Priest at the head of the monks, Brother Knuckles, an ex mob guy turned monk, and Brother John, a wealthy guy turned monk. Only the first three know of his gift.

Waiting up to see a snow storm break, Odd finds Brother Timothy unconscious or dead on the grounds. He is then clubbed on the back of the head and knocked out. A search for Brother Tim leads to a strange mix of science and the spiritual that I for one found really cool.

** SECOND SPOILER**

Elvis crosses over in this one and Odd contemplates becoming a monk. Two reasons I think that this should have been the last one. Another reason is that he comes very very close to connecting with Stormy though a conduit to the otherside. Third, this is the last book where Odd is truly Odd.

See, Odd hates guns and will only use one as a last resort. In the first, Odd takes out most of the bad guys with a baseball bat, in the second, bug-shit lady was killed by a cougar, the bad guy in this one was killed by someone else.

Although his ability to see and help the lingering dead is not the main focus of the second or the third, it's still something he does. There is character progression from the first to the third. When we meet Odd he is trying to carve out a life dispite his traumatic childhood and while trying to do right with the gifts he has. After he loses Stormy, the second commitment becomes more intense, because of his conviction that the only way he will meet Stormy on the other side is to live his life in the best way he can, and that means using his gifts to help people. He's sadder, slightly less heedful of danger, but still fully committed to flighting the good flight, in his unconventional way.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, in the fourth through the seventh, the train is derailed, possessed, and also on fire.

Not only does his primary gift take a back seat, but the fight he is flighting isn't between the forces of good and evil, or even between justice and injustice, it's a culture war.

And the side of the war that Odd is on is peopled with climate change deniers, dooms day prepers, anti-government people who supply other "good guys" with guns, other anti-personnal gear, tech that circumvents federal guidelines. All the "bad guys" are anyone with any sort of power judges, lawyers, cops, corporations, politicians. Their victims are the hard working Americans, the waitresses, the truck drivers... Strike that. The victims are the Christian hardworking Americans who evedently are being "persecuted in their own country" (this might be a different rant for a different blog but I maintain that there is a big difference between Persecution and Denial of Entitlement. Persecution is being in danger of being harassed, hurt, killed or imprisoned for your beliefs, ethnicity or culture. And when that happens justice is less likely to happen for the person or people targeted. Denial of Entitlement is when a person, or people, cry injustice because they either can't dress up their persecution of others in their beliefs, or can't force those beliefs on others, through law, or through being amazingly obnoxious).

Not only are anyone in power corupt, they are satanists, not are they satanists, they are the same sect of satanists who attacked Pico Mundo, not only are they the same satanists that attacked Pico Mundo, they have an actual connection to Satan. Like they can call up demons and monsters.... Yet for some reason they still use bombs, guns and weponized diseases to wreak havoc.

Now, if Koontz wanted to showcase some characterization of how to fight against a corupt system, that's cool, I mean I'm all for calling out people in power. But this vears into government lizard people territory, and if that was the type of book he wanted to write then that's cool too,but he essentially highjacked Odd's story to do it.

I have a hard time believing that when Odd picked up the ghost of Frank Sinatra at the end of Brother, and walked off into the sunset, that the original intent was to end up in the middle of a plot to plant nukes around the country and then, accompanied by pregnant girl who is some how The Virgin Mary's mother, to a house where time travel is possible and mutant pigs fade in from a post apocalyptic future and want to eat people, where they pick up a sort of dead, sort of immortal child, who is neither of those any more. Only to then to leave them to go on a road trip with an old lady, who some how has connections to the metaphysical, and a microchip planted in her ass that makes it to where she doesn't have to sleep, to rescue kids kidnapped by the powerful satanists to be used as human sacrifice. Along the way, they meet up with some fighters in this coming war, who while they do not wear tin foil hats, they have the cheerfully bloodthirsty air of cult members waiting for the end times. (Side note about the roadtrip book: Deeply Odd is the most boring, yet weird book I have read since Breaking Dawn. Say what you will about the crazy pigs and time travel in Odd Apocalypse, it's at least interesting).

And then to end up back in Pico Mundo to fight said satanists. The in increasingly nonsensical plots really just there to deliver commentary on how the world has gone to shit and everyone is to focused on the material.

Again, remember that Odd is pretty apolitical. He's never voted, owns only the clothes on his back, prefers Shakespeare and old movies to tv, which I figure also includes the news. How does this not equal out to a kid being a patsy for this group, which essentially takes over the narritive. I mean, yeah, he's still doing his thing, but he has many of his moves ditcatated by this group. This includes carrying a gun, all the time.

Again, Odd hates guns. Granted, by the last book, he has spent three books killing people with guns while talking about how much he hates killing people with guns, but up till the last two books, his hatered of guns is seen as a virtue, and then suddenly, he's an idiot if he doesn't arm himself to take a piss.

This makes very little sense to me. Odd is a simple guy, he wants to live his life as long as he has to, do right by the dead and make his way back to Stormy, all the while perfecting his pancake recipe. How the fuck did we get from this to "Everything is shit, there are three type of people, those in power who are working for the devil, those on the side of the angels and the idiots who don't see what's going on. And dispite all the supernatural stuff, we still need to busta cap in someone's ass.

I know that Koontz is Catholic, and I speculate that he had a renewal of his faith somewhere, but also somewhere along the line he took a turn into conservative libertarian territory if that is a thing that can exsist.

I feel like originally, the idea was to have Saint Odd follow Brother Odd, at least in some incarnation. It makes sense, the satanist sect want to come back and finish what was started, and take out the town and Odd, who cocked it up to begin with. In the first book Odd describes Roberts and his cohorts as playing satanists but just using it as a delivery system for their sick want to kill people and be famous for it. It follows that others who are also playing at being satanists would come back to town to get revenge for their fallen brethren. This also trucks with Forever Odd where the bug-shit lady was playing at being a Vudun, and with Brother Odd where people played at being faithful.

This is how ai think it should have gone:

Odd goes from the Abbey, where he is shown, yet again, that evil is a human driven force, that those who wallow in pride, in want of adoration and perfection can be the down fall of themselves and others, back to his home town to defeate these sad delusional people once and for all.

Odd goes home for Christmas at the end of Brother, decides he wants to take vows, and goes about the process of becoming a man of the cloth. Maybe he goes back to St. Bart's, and he figures out a way to help the lingering dead from there, or, after he is confirmed in whatever capacity, he goes back to Pico Mundo and works along side Stormy's priest uncle. He sort of Father Dowlings it until he passes.

Instead, suddenly the structured feel of all of the supernatural things, which (implied by the third book) are based in science and the laws and rules of the universe that God laid down, turns into... Magic?

Doesn't matter how or why, what matters is there is a war! And the little fry cook shall lead them!

Seriously. Five years of Christian School has me seeing the turn that Odd's story takes, a couple of ways.

First it is either an overworked Christ story, where Odd is swept up in a war between the oppressed and the opressers, even though his life and mission is mostly one of mercy. In the end being a sacrifice that saves millions (by preventing the spread out f a weponized strain of rabies) but his sacrifice will only be remembered by a handful of people at first. The difference is of course that Odd buys into the culture war even though it make no sense.

Or, it's a Saint's story. Struggle, strife and miracles. See, it use to be that to be canonized, you had to have three miracles. His miracles? Well, first, his helping of the dead to cross over could be one, the preventing of whatever demon the satanists summoned in Deeply Odd, could be another, and finally, somehow managing to send Little Ozzie the manuscript for Saint Odd after Odd himself had already died, could be the last.

Either way, books four, five, and six are completely unnecessary.

So why does knootz's writing annoy me? It's self righteous and condicending. Poking fun a people who watch tv, enjoy unsophisticated things, bemoaning those who don't see just how stupid it is to buy into media, and how people are just marching their own way to misery because they just don't Get It.

It's the same time of people who look down on adults who do kid stuff sometimes "Why would you read John Green when you can read Dickens? Why would you watch Inside Out when you can watch Citizen Cane?"

Why would you eat coco puffs? Adults don't do that!"

I'm sorry, have I outgrown fun? A book is a book, a movie is a movie, breakfast cereal is breakfast cereal and you should be able to watch anything you want on tv without being shamed by a book that has an exploding cow in it.

#book #books #odd thomas #dean koontz #spoilers #revisit 7 8 and 9 #Book blogging 2021 #revisit

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